id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
ncLfrldDyusjVgIvSXljLdwgwSMBolJG | axz22u | {
"description": "wanting my gfs ex out of our life",
"pronormative_score": 109,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for wanting my gfs ex out of our life? | Girlfriend, Jane, and I are very serious, we’re talking about getting married this summer.
Long story short she had this male friend since before our relationship, john. John confessed his love for Jane through a social media dm to me. I was uncomfortable but brushed it off. John was fine until one day he walked in her house without permission while we were in bed. They got in an argument and she took his key. Fast forward two weeks and john is over while I’m there. He heads out and locks the door behind him... she calls him back in and takes his apparent second key.
I asked at the beginning if john and her had a past, she told me she kissed him once while they were drunk. I know I’m an asshole for doing this, but I went thru her phone and found out they had been together before her and I were. I told her immediately what I had done, but that I didn’t appreciate her lying.
They still text and call daily, which makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve tried to express this to Jane but she doesn’t seem to get it. I am untrusting of john and it makes me occasionally untrusting of Jane. We’re planning on moving cross country in a few months, but I can’t handle him around now.. I just want him out. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 109,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 109,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
B2XEctH4jENC1lsNKbqGeix286iPiOfF | amxgin | {
"description": "not wanting my bf to go to prom with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for not wanting my bf to go to prom with me? | Throwaway because my s/o knows my account.
My bf and I both have started our freshman year at our local college, taking classes on campus, even though we are seniors in high school. This means we can still go to dances, do extracurriculars, whatever we want since we technically are still high school students. That includes going to senior prom.
My bf accidentally stirred up some drama earlier in the year and though he had good intentions basically my entire friend group hates him, except for maybe my closest friend. I really want to go to prom and have a good time, but I feel like he will just make things really awkward with his presence and it’s already awkward for me trying to feel part of my friend group when I am a little isolated. He is also just very socially awkward and any tension that he feels would make him anxious and sad and I don’t want him to be uncomfortable at prom. I am 99% sure he wouldn’t want to go if I weren’t going; it’s not his thing at all, though maybe I’m just making excuses. He has told me that he doesn’t really care, that if I go then he will go, but I could tell it might hurt him if I go without him. But we would have to try to find a table with people we don’t know and basically avoid my friends the entire night. I really would just prefer if he not go but I don’t want him to miss out or to hurt his feelings.
tldr; friends hate bf, his presence at prom would create tension for everyone. AITA for asking him to not go with me even though he wants to? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
W7hWH9hK1zpK2kmkn5GXVDfKwZoWTm3N | ae4sg8 | {
"description": "leaving my neighbor's kid on the curb while I took my own daughter home",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for leaving my neighbor’s kid on the curb while I took my own daughter home? | So my neighbor and I originally had an agreement to rotate pick up duties. I’d pick up mine and her daughter for a week, and then she’d do the same the next week and so on. Well a few weeks ago she basically decided she doesn’t want to do any pick ups ever and started calling me during the days when she had to go to the school and telling me that she had migraines/stomach aches/menstrual pains/back pain/etc.
Basically every ailment ever. She’d magically it during her weeks. Then, when I told her enough was enough, she started agreeing to the pickups but pulling out at the VERY last minute by saying she had “meetings” with the doctor. It was cryptic and BS but I picked them both up anyways since someone had to.
Last week, I was dropping off her kid when I see her pull in the driveway with a shitton of shopping bags. She went shopping! When she told me she was “taking her younger son to the pediatrician.” Her son wasn’t even with her. Catching her in an obvious lie I told her this was the last pickup and don’t expect me to do any favors for her anymore. I told her daughter that I can’t take her anymore and to tell her mommy that too.
This past Monday I went to pick up my daughter when the neighbors kid started climbing into my backseat. I stopped her and told her that I can’t pick her up today and she’ll have to wait for her mom. I led her to a teacher and told the teacher to phone her mom because I can’t take her today. Then we left.
Well ever since then this neighbor has basically declared war on me. She’s telling everyone that I left her daughter on the street just waiting to be kidnapped. She has some sob story about how she was getting blood taken because she fears she may have cancer (???) and even tho I offered to pick up her daughter I didn’t.
My husband is pissed at me too because he said I shouldn’t have put a child in danger. I told everyone that I honestly had no choice. I had texted the neighbor at least 10 times saying I wasn’t going to pick up her daughter anymore and no response. It turns out too that the teacher had thought I was the mom and it took them 1 hour to find my actual neighbor. I do feel bad that the girl was probably scared being left at school but I don’t know what else I should have done. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
brrI3r7MgUcxkBdlVvbrzfA0LSryC6Nv | axmp8j | {
"description": "parking dispute",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA - Parking Dispute | Ok so here is the background -
My girlfriend and I live in an apartment complex where there are assigned parking spots. We have an upstairs neighbor who is claiming our spot for their own convenience but there is some back ground here. I want to know if I am the asshole here.
We have a two car parking spot and about 4 years ago we let our upstairs neighbor use it at their leisure because at the time we didn't have a car. Fast forward a year or two - we get a car and tell the neighbors we need to now use our designated spot. They got upset that we needed it back and through a minor fit - I thought we got past it because they have their own spot designated in back of the building. The following year - they had a kid. They've voiced their concerns before that because they have a kid that it is more convenient and safe for them to now use our parking spot. I said no about a year back because our relationship with them has degraded over time and we live in a sort of mutual frustration and attempt to just ignore each other.
Fast forward to now - I woke up with an email from the upstairs neighbor to our land lord stating a myriad of reasons on why they are more entitled to having the two car spot; things like they have a kid, they want to get a second car and that we have no plans to buy a second car. They finished off the email stating that we find their reasons agreeable as well as have agreed to them trading the spot for theirs behind the building. I have never made any agreement to them and they have not come to me about this before hand.
Here's where the aita part comes in - I am a relatively agreeable person and would have worked out a mutual arrangement to share the two spots with them - however - now that they in a sense lied to the landlord about my agreement without coming to me first - I am thinking of just telling them to go fuck off. I find the whole situation manipulative and on principle do not want to be walked over because they feel they are more entitled.
So - Reddit - am I the asshole?
TLDR - Parking spot could arguably more useful to them, neighbors handled the situation poorly and now I don't want to give it up over principle. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2XqEuRHn9eMXda3LRo9NXKqVhyIU332x | av9tqo | {
"description": "telling people that my friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for the last 3 months",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling people that my friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for the last 3 months? | So two weeks ago my friend Katie (not her real name) told me she had a big secret she had to tell me and made me promise not to tell anyone. She told me that she was romantically and sexually involved with one of my friends Paul (also not his real name) who has been in a relationship with a girl for 2 years now. They’ve had sex several times and even said they love each other. Katie made him choose between her and his girlfriend and he chose his girlfriend.
Well a week passes and this has been the only thing on my mind and it was driving me crazy. So last weekend when I was drunk with some of my friends I told them about the cheating.
Fast forward to today and it all comes full circle and Paul finds out that people know he’s been cheating. He comes banging on my apartment door and my roommate lets him and Katie in and he comes charging at me ready to punch my face in. Katie and my roommate yell at him not to fight me so he restrains himself and yells at me for the next ten minutes telling me how I fucked up and that I had no excuse for what I did. He eventually leaves and Katie tells me she isn’t mad but just disappointed I broke my promise. But she also cried her eyes out and I don’t understand why but I don’t really feel much sympathy. So I was wondering if I’m just an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
dp15NNWp3o76RRwFlhzs7DTjI8pTlaIH | b7k4dm | {
"description": "catfishing my girlfriend to see if she is loyal",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 43
} | AITA for catfishing my girlfriend to see if she is loyal? | So i need to keep this brief and on a throwaway account. People have been telling me that my gf flirts with other guys and my best friend told me she sees him eyeing his crotch and acts flirtatious around him. I decided to test this out for myself and I made a fake Facebook account, got a lot of friends and i told some people at my school to add him as a friend so it seems like somebody she would know, the mutual friends. He (brian) adds girlfriend as a contact and she accepts asking how she knows him. Brian explains he added the wrong person but should become friends because he's transferring to the university and lives in the area, share similar friends. They talk for a few weeks and my gf never told me about this. They talk about their interests and other stuff and to make sure that she's 100% the cheater i made sure that brian never started a sexual or romantic conversation or even about meeting up. That was all gf. Gf eventually asks him on a date and he asks if she has a bf and she says "its complicated but not really" and that was when i had it. I video called her and she was shocked to see who was on the other end of the line. She says i violated her trust and i was an asshole. She ranted about it on twitter and Facebook which clearly backfired. She claimed i led her on and that i am a scumbag. She pretty much proved she was a cheater yet all of the girls in our friend group and her mom harassed me online until i blocked them. I broke up with her, on Facebook via post when she ranted about it causing a massive flame war within our friend group. She went to the university counselor and now they want to speak to me about it and they're upset with me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 39,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 43
} | WRONG |
JE73qJaq3cuOPz6ymkh5FQpxfVgKlrnj | b4u13h | {
"description": "not staying at a concert in order to get my car towed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not staying at a concert in order to get my car towed? | Backstory:
I go to a lot of concerts. Of course I don’t enjoy going alone, so over time, my cousin (23M) and I (20M) have become concert buddies. Anyways, he’s been a hassle to deal with lately. He’s always wanting me to drive to the shows, and often not paying me back for gas money just because he sometimes helps split parking costs. He’s also been very picky about what shows he’d go to, refusing some of my plans, even though I would always be down for a show of a band he enjoys.
Today:
The concert was out of town, about an hour and a half away. I drove to his house to pick him up, and off we went to see the show. The drive seemed pretty uneventful until just about 5-10 minutes away from the venue, my car starts acting up. I knew something bad was happening immediately. My cousin, however, was pressuring me to try and make it to the show and worry about it later. I wasn’t having any of that, and pulled over. I called my dad and informed him of the situation, while my cousin called AAA to see what they could do. My cousin hangs up upon seeing the car is acting fine all of a sudden, and tells me to just drive to the show. I let the pressure get to me, and we somehow got there, and I end up paying the $10 for parking. My dad calls back and tells me I just need to get it towed, and I agreed. My cousin still stuck to his idea that we should just worry about it after. Calling for a tow after a late show when so far from home, was out of the question; I knew it would take ages to get a tow truck there, let alone all the way back home.
I told my cousin that I was going to get towed, and since this towing agency requires you to be with the car, I had to go home. He claims he had it under control and I should’ve listened to him. He said he was staying for the show, and that he’d figure his own way home. I hand him his stuff and the $45 I owed him for my ticket. I did this because he made sure to ask for it before I left, stating that it wasn’t fair he had to pay for it and I was just gonna leave. I head out to park somewhere more tow-truck accessible. I wait while my cousin texts and calls me, thinking of ways to get me to stay. “Just wait for the tow guy to get there and Uber here or something,” he said at one point. I told him that wasn’t an option, and he was very annoyed. He kept saying how generous he was being by giving me so many opportunities to stay with him.
During my tow ride, he sends an angry text saying that we needed to talk later on. I finally get home, paying a massive $300 since my AAA membership only covers 5 miles (it was about 80 in total), and I call to see what his issue seems to be. He tells me that if something like that happened again, not to tell anyone so it wouldn’t ruin the day, and I should have trusted him. I don’t even understand. I wanted to see the show as much as the next guy, but I fail to see how I’m in the wrong for putting my car above that. I didn’t want to risk it getting any worse. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
S3uCSYgMFwcxY2vaPux1f6e49ljOIXeM | b2xsvt | {
"description": "stopping a friendship after their driving got us into a preventable accident",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For stopping a friendship after their driving got us into a preventable accident? | We where on our way out of town and had made it half way.
She got off the wrong exit even though I told her it was not the right one.
When she realized she was getting off on the wrong exit she gunned the car to get back to the on ramp quickly.
She was not paying attention and T-Boned a driver coming from our right hand side.
I have rotator cuff issues now and she fractured her tibia.
I have known her for a long time but her negligent driving could have killed both of us.
Our friends tell me to let it go but I just feel like I am done with her.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
WcaoNqR00zgsOgJrRlJcbMtA49hWoCbl | 9x7qzn | {
"description": "telling my parents they are shit parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my parents they are shit parents. | so some context here.
I've moved out and am living about a hour away.
my sister is 13
recently I've noticed my parents have not been parenting my sister very well.
they let her wear whatever she wants (including short shorts and crop tops)
she also stays out till 6:00/7:30.
she talks back all the time and whenever I'm up I never see her because she is always at a mates place or in her room on her phone.
she is hanging around friends who invite older guys to hang out (from what I've seen on her snapchat storys)
we went to a bar/restaurant and she complained how she could not drink the wine because of her age then when my parents went to go do somthing she tried stealing some of my drink. (I worry that she might want to start drinking at 13)
so I spoke to my dad about it and I got laughter back in response because he thought it was funny.
so I forgot about it until I came up again and she was worse. she texted mum she was heading to a mates place and left. mum had no clue where she was going or who she was seeing. (so she could be doing anything with anyone)
so I told both of them that they should keep an eye on here and they got shitty at me, so I told them I worried for her, (quite angrily I might add)
I went on about a mate of mine (that they knew) who started out just like this and ended up doing drugs by 15 and had a pregnancy scare at 16. they got more mad and accused me of thinking to far ahead and not to worry. we got in a slight argument again because I said she is my sister I'm aloud to worry, and i thought they where doing a shit job and they went on the your not the parent rant so I walked off.
am I the asshole for telling my parents they are not being good parents?
or am I overthinking.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
Or34LU1MGqw0qQ0TEJbwzNP9Mgd9tRf9 | aunmkb | {
"description": "wanting to ask my roommate to not lock the cupboard",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to ask my roommate to not lock the cupboard? | So I recently moved in with my friend, who I've known since the start of university, and his girlfriend. She's working, he's still at university and I graduated a month or two before we moved in.
We found a really nice two bedroom flat together that was relatively cheap for city prices. Splitting the rent so that I'm paying much more than them individually but not more than them as a whole. All of which I'm totally fine with.
Unfortunately there were a LOT more costs moving in than I originally thought there would be. We also had to pay to repair two major appliances within the first month. As I'm currently an unemployed graduate looking for work this put quite a strain on my finances and I found myself with very little spare cash. I had enough to buy myself food but buying new bottles of oil, salt, butter and seasonings was a bit too much for me to afford through the whole month. So I asked my flatmate if I could use some of his until the end of the month. He said that was all good and that was that. So over the next 3 weeks or so I borrow, or just use I should say, very small amounts of such food. Nothing that you would actually eat on its own but stuff like salt, pepper, mayo, olive oil etc. and not in large amounts (I'd say I never used more than 5% of any item of his that I used). Suddenly I hear from him that his gf is pissed with me using their shit and he basically asks me to stop, which I do. Then I find out the next day that he bought and screwed on a latch to the cupboard door where they store their food and padlocked it shut...
It's been about a month or so since then. Now I have no problem with not using their food anymore, that would be wrong (plus I took a part-time job to ease the struggle while I'm looking for work and can pay for myself) but I feel like by physically locking it shut with a key while we're the only 3 ppl that would ever have access to it he's insinuating I'm a thief. I haven't said anything as I do feel somewhat guilty as I may have misinterpreted and overstepped my bounds but just seeing it really pisses me off. What do you guys think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UObZqxV15trLzQyCkrtm6rkaqvNtMDtP | avuyzf | null | AITA - Discussion about Confederate Flag | AITA - At dinner last night, our freshman age college daughter made the comment about wanting to move to Colorado for college. Which, I am totally for. I am a big believer of getting out and experiencing - anything!
We live in the woods outside of a small town in Louisiana. So generally, we don’t interact with very many people around the home. However, I have never heard or witnessed any racists comments/actions/etc. that would make me feel uncomfortable.
So, to the point - the comment she made was 'I can finally get away from all the confederate flags - I have to pass three racist flags just on my way home!'. I made the comment, 'The flag is not racists by design, but as of late it has become…' Now, my wife respectfully asked that we not go into this any further.
Now my feelings on the rebel flag are...General Lee racing thru the woods in the tv show, a sign of 'living in the south', some state flags have a version of it on their flags, etc. I have never had a discussion with anybody about it that goes much deeper than that! I don’t know of or have never heard of somebody displaying the flag and saying, ‘because white!’. Or to keep others away.
Obviously, it has become demonized in the last years. And I can see some points on how this has merit if the person is just an asshole and doing it because they are an asshole. However, I also feel that it is history and generally a way of placing a label on a life style (not that I would much agree with that life style). I personally would not display one, but I also don’t see them and think – RACIST!
I want to understand where she got the understanding that rebel flag is a racist flag. And if she really thinks it’s a danger.
AITA for wanting to have a further conversation about MY views and wanting to hear about HER views? My opinion is that the media has caused this to be an issue, when in reality it’s a non-issue.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 15,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
Z6Mbd2IloBApG3klEI2NLFwl7bJj3BlO | 9zgy2q | {
"description": "not being honest",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not being honest? | Recently I changed classes because I did a mistake when choosing the subjects I wanted to study and I decided to change because I had some problems in the other class so that incentivated me to finally change.
When I had sure that I would be changed, my friends introduce me to some people that they know that were from the class I would be. So it passed a day or so, and I am on the new class and everyone is nice to me, I already met most of the people. When I get home from that day, I received a dm from a guy (let's call him Noah)in my class, that is best friend's with one of my friends. What can I say, things evolved fast and by the time I noticed he already had fallen for me. The thing is, I'm a flirtatious person and easy-going (normally), and sometime people misunderstand how I am and it happened! Noah thinks I like him, but I am not even attracted to him and I don't know what to do. And the worst is that I am crushing in a guy (Jacob) also from my class, he sends hints that is interested like saying that I could do better and other things. If I really start having something w/Jacob it will broke Noah heart, but I don't want this to evolve more and I don't know what to do.. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2slDy2eVtMcdDDiS1WgCJYVneuNppUZy | b5ulml | {
"description": "not showing my boyfriend a letter from his father",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | WIBTA if I didn't show my boyfriend a letter from his father? | My boyfriend of 2 years father was horrendously abusive. He still has mild post traumatic stress symptoms from this, and has only recently (as in the last year and a bit) began settling down and trying to become a better person (the abuse only ended a few years ago, when he was 12). He has no contact with him and has told me before he doubts that he ever will, and that he has no desire to ever really talk to him again. To be fair, this was a while ago, so I'm not sure how he feels now.
​
Anyway, today a letter addressed to my boyfriend came through our door. I opened it (NBD, we open & read each other's mail). It was from his dad, obviously - I have no idea how he even got our address, because my bf never told him where he was going when he was moving out or anything. It was 2 pages of just...Nauseating shit. Manipulation, victim blaming, offers to pay for shit (jokes on him, we're financially stable) and unnecessary out-of-place details about the shit he'd done to my boyfriend? It basically ended with a request to come and join his dad at some family thing. It made me so mad. The fucking audacity of him. I really do want him to die brutally.
​
I don't want to show my bf this. One part of me thinks that he has the right to see, and I know I'm not his caretaker, but I don't want him to go back to how he was before when he finally seems to be doing better and getting on with his life. I also (maybe selfishly) don't want that old fucks effort to even be seen. WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
6g6yNsIhVfQWWyboclccmoM67PfZmUrs | ay6nrm | {
"description": "not supporting my friend with her new relationship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I didn’t support my friend with her new relationship? | Hey, first time poster! I’ve just been having this dilemma internally recently. My best friend has an awful track record with guys. She ignores huge red flags and I am the one who is inevitably there for her when she gets hurt. She’s recently started seeing this guy and alarm bells are ringing in my head. On the first night we all hung out as a group he tried to kiss a mutual friend after we had all gone to bed. After grafting on my friend the entire night. She’s chosen to ignore this and all power to her.
I know she’s going to get hurt again and I don’t think I can honestly be there for her again. It’s exhausting and I don’t have the mental capacity right now personally to cope with this. The only reason I feel like I might be the asshole if I was to tell her to not discuss this relationship with me is that I feel like friends are meant to be there unconditionally to support.
Sooo, WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XNIodaTQX71TtRQY6ghkOLUuX7KCzJWn | ajvdyq | {
"description": "not wanting my soon to be homeless cousin to live with us",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting my soon to be homeless cousin to live with us? | My cousin is a 28 (i believe) year old man. He has never held a real job for longer than a month, he dropped out of highschool, and he has spent time in rehab for addiction to cough drops. He also has a criminal record now because he doesnt know how to drive properly and apparently took a right turn into the wrong lane into oncoming traffic and hit another car.
No injuries but he got charged for it. He lives with his (not mine) elderly disabled grandpa at the grandpas house.
None of these are reasons for me not wanting him to live with us. My cousin was severly abused growing up by my uncle and my aunt. His father was a drug addict thief who made him live in homeless shelters as a kid. His mom was abusive, though she is now dead from a heart attack. His father beat her in front of him, pushing her out of cars and putting trash bags over her head. Theres no denying that he had it rough. My uncle went to rehab and is now clean with a new wife and kids. He cut my cousin out of his life since my cousin still resents him.
I dont blame him, but my cousin also tends to play the victim alot and hes now an adult.
So thats my cousins side of things. Abused kid grew up to be a dysfunctional adult.
My side of things is hes also creepy, weird, and unpleasant. As a child, he took one of our younger girl cousins (maybe 10? With him as 14) and placed her in his lap. I dont know exactly what happened but my little cousin was freaked out after she hopped away, and when asked she said he was touching her. My cousin admitted this and says he regrets it, but it gets much worse.
As an adult he messaged my other aunt ( i have 6 aunts and like 20 cousins in case youre confused) on facebook. He was normal at first but then started to tell her how hot she was. My aunt asked him why he was talking like that and he said he didnt mean anything and started crying. She blocked him.
Then he messaged my older female cousin and did the EXACT same thing. My older cousin put him on blast and at this point we havent seen him in person for 6 years.
Now last year, my OTHER aunt who he hasnt tried to have sex with is getting pestered by him for both me and my sisters numbers. I am a male and 22, sister is 26. He messages me and I refuse to respond.
"Hey OP this is Jim, been a long time how you been? Wanted to message you. How is your sister?"
20 minutes
"You live in X area?
One hour
"Yes i know im a fuck up but we're still family. Idk if you heard but my mom died. We are blood cousins."
A day later
"Wow"
He texts my sister as well who is always one for drama. She knows my cousin is creepy but still texted him i believe to get a reaction. Eventually my cousin tells her that he has secretly loved her for years and that he curses god that theyre blood related.
My sister shares all of the texts with everyone. We all know what he is now.
Now its been another year and my cousin is almost 30 with no job, no education, no skills, no car, and facing crazy legal fines and fees. His life goal is to literally be a rapper like eminem.
He also has no support now either since his grandpa is going into assisted living and his other family is selling the house. I think hes also been creepy with them since they hate him too.
On facebook he constantly complains about the abuse he suffered, the fact that he has no friends and no girl, and that he has no family anymore. He posts that when his grandad leaves he will be homeless on the streets.
My sister, ever the drama queen, asks my parents if he can live with us. I dont think she really means it since he was a creep to her, but i said that he should rot in the street. She says that he is still family.
I do feel bad for my cousin since he has had a hard life and tbh my greatest fear is being like him. Me and my sis still live with my parents but i am a skilled tradesman with 13k in the bank with my own new truck and am trying to start a business. Sister is in college.
I think maybe if i had terrible parents id be like him, perhaps though id never hurt children or go after my blood like some freak. But i also think about him being homeless and realize what hell that would be. AITA for telling him to rot. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bArXS3vavkDRTs60gB04S7HaQuMZb3Gs | alio0h | {
"description": "declining my dads offer",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for declining my dads offer? | I graduated college (4 year) a month ago I’m looking for a job. I’m already searching for other jobs at the moment but my father is a landscaper and wants me to do landscaping. The only problem I have with it is that it’s physically draining on the body. I can’t exercise after my body is used up from manual labor. Also the landscaping job doesn’t pay that well.
I need to exercise to reach my fitness goals that is required for a specific career/job/internship in the future that I’m striving towards.
Am I the asshole for declining my dads offer?
Was it wrong that I declined his offer?
Context (if needed) given upon request.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JR3qeVLRsE21KJi3JaJ4UqY23ZjOy4r9 | at1ea7 | {
"description": "telling my mom that I'm tired of having her in my room",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my mom that I'm tired of having her in my room? | I'm currently getting a lot of shit for this from my sister, so I need some input here.
Some background: I'm 17 and I share a room with my two brothers (my younger brother being 15 and the other 18) and I have a sister (16) who has her own room. Ever since my older brother left home for college, my mom would always like to come by our room to hang out as my older brother only visits once every few weeks.
From that point on, a typical school day would consist of me and my siblings coming home from school by ~3pm, having time to ourselves until 8-10pm, and then my mom would come over to play games on her phone or sleep until 12-1am before she leaves.
At first, I was fine with having her around since she always talks about how much she misses my older brother, and I assumed that she'd eventually get over it in a few months. But as months passed I began dropping hints about how she should get back to her room, its getting late, and how I feel like I don't have any space but nothing blunt or direct, so she compensates by alternating between me and my brother's room and my sisters. My brother and sister have also voiced that they're getting tired of my mom's constant visits as well.
At this point, its been about 6 months since school began and she still has her nightly visits despite being half way through the school year.
So today, I decided to confront her about it, about how I hated how she comes so often and how I just wanted some privacy and I was getting tired of having her over for so many nights where she could have just stayed in her room but she doesn't take any of this well at all.
She was in disbelief asking me how could I drive away my mother like that and stating she feels like she can barely live in this house anymore. She eventually breaks out crying and leaves to her room.
Afterwards my sister told me that I went way too far as she doesn't have anything to do and she's been through so much raising us. She admits that she does get tired of having her over too but with it going on for so long I shouldn't try stopping her anymore.
So AITA for finally ranting to my mom or should I have just dealt with it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
ri9vMj3t2R0Uj41q76bNZyThgN0D8d0d | ab3osr | {
"description": "kicking out my Ex-Girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for kicking out my Ex-Girlfriend? | Ive paid full rent for both of us for the past two years. The lease is up in Febuary, and I plan on renewing it in my name only. I am giving her a month, then she is no longer allowed to stay. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
aoAHhkLetSOgU91Vdsjs6pjOsr4LvGnH | au0u5i | {
"description": "confronting my friend for being greedy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for confronting my friend for being greedy? | For context, I drove my friend to work today after he called me and said his ride busted on him. His job is a bit of a ways out but I said it was fine as long as he had gas money, which he said that he had.
I pick him up, drive him thirty minutes to his work and when he pulled a wad of bills from his pocket asked how much I wanted, I told him that, “whatever was fine with him was okay”. He then proceeds to drop a singular, wrinkled dollar into my cupholder and gets out of the car.
Now, I wouldn’t have been mad about it if he had at least given me enough to get a monster on the drive back, all things considered, but the fact that he gave me the worst bill he had pushed me over the edge. I ended up calling him and asking why he hadn’t given me any more than a dollar for taking the time out of my day to make sure he got to work on time, to which he said that, “You said that whatever is fine so I gave you whatever”.
AITA for being upset that he took advantage of that technicality? I wasn’t even expecting anything over four or five dollars, but I don’t even want to have any further contact with my friend over this.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
7Tq3ucvhtPjJ6dtSXtBRCYSTo1FPJ3Uw | b29l9x | {
"description": "not letting my grandma touch me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my grandma touch me | There's something off about my grandma and I've specifically stated on numerous occasions I'm uncomfortable with being touched by people (more specifically people I don't like, but I have respect so I keep that portion to myself.)
When I don't follow what my grandmother says she makes sly comments about me because I feel like what she's saying is unfair
For instance, one time I saved icecream in the freezer for myself and she found it, I tried explaining it was mine and she went down to my mother and demanded she tells me to give it to her
I was forced to give it to her.
As I was walking away I heard her say "think of it this way, I'm saving you a few extra calories you don't need."
I'm not exactly skinny but I'm not fat either, it was a low blow to say the least.
I get extremely uncomfortable when she touches my hair or arm and doesn't leave me alone so I ask her not to politely but she persists to do so. The sound of her voice is actually enough to make me cringe.
AITA for not letting her touch me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Wix8ggUm5hRV1bhbGZJ7E6SlGoC12QcR | an56l6 | {
"description": "not tipping my tattoo artist when he touched up my tattoo",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not tipping my tattoo artist when he touched up my tattoo? | Yesterday I got a touch up for a tattoo, it was free, only took about 5 minutes. When I got the original piece, I tipped 40%. I felt really bad for not tipping the second time around. AITA for not tipping during the touch up? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
uL6HzvP6OQAK58TxhP5J1CQOmUoKGvoh | ay11vg | {
"description": "not wanting to talk sports with randoms",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to talk sports with randoms? | I, like a lot of people, enjoy wearing clothes with logos of their favorite sport teams. I like teams from a particular high profile city. This leads to a lot of strangers out in public making a comment or starting a conversation. I’m not particularly fond of this. However I realize I’m showing people what specific teams/sports I like and they are generally just trying to be nice and make conversation.
Am I the Asshole for quickly getting out of the conversation because I really don’t care to debate sports while I’m running errands or should I “indulge” their comments? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tkz1vnd2Ka0zWx0EkRUR0uUlgsdCp71U | aoe2wn | {
"description": "wanting to keep the dog I paid for",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to keep the dog I paid for? | First off: I wasn’t the most responsible perso, I had one dog that escaped and got put in the pound and when that happened I had lost my job due to some personal issues at work. I couldn’t get her back cause they charged per day to keep her, as soon as I had a job I looked everywhere for her but assume she got adopted since she was a sweet beautiful dog. I feel I had matured a lot since then and feel horrible for what I did, found a stable job got promoted quickly and been more responsible as a whole. Now my girlfriend: she had been severely depressed and said a dog would help her cope so I had bought her a dog I spent 500 on him well she said she technically paid for him but I had to pay her rent so I feel like I bought him. Anyways me and her are in Love with the dog and her landlord said she couldn’t keep it even if she got him approved as a emotional support dog which I don’t thinks legal specially since he said that she would need a big deposit for animals which I was willing to pay. While she was figuring it she figured if perhaps she couldn’t keep the dog she would give him to her sister, and she would train him first cause her sister was too busy to train him and wanted a trained dog already. Now I got really upset and said I would take care of him but she said I wasn’t responsible enough which made me upset cause I honestly really have changed for the better, the house I share with my roommates is dirty yes mostly laundry and dishes but I ain’t cleaning after 5 dudes just my part and her house,it was the whole reason I moved to her town to get away from my past. I told her why I am responsible now but she wouldn’t let up I feel cause she didn’t want to say no to her sister so I got really upset and we Fought over it. Is it wrong of me that I said I should keep the dog since I technically paid for it and am a more responsible person? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xgh4xwZ8vFwr3UO9uFVZNRtO2LeprsNr | aerc29 | {
"description": "not letting my GF buy a dildo",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA For not letting my GF buy a dildo? |
My GF of almost a year really wants to buy a realistic dildo.
I am fine with her having one, I just dont like the idea of it being realistic. It makes me feel like shes fucking a penis that is not mine. she said she wants it to be real so it feels like a cock inside of her.
We are extremely sexually active, but I totally understand her wanting one for when we are not together.
Am I the asshole for not letting her buy a realistic dildo?
Sorry if this doesnt belong on this sub I just want to know if I'm being stupid | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 21
} | WRONG |
Zb6PFAE0SlEHqzaCAFYflZe1Z3fd10Tj | b5lbfc | {
"description": "giving a girl who was flirting with me a fake number",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for giving a girl who was flirting with me a fake number? | So I (23M) have been going to the gym for the past year and putting on some muscle. And I honestly think I look a lot better than before. I'm not huge or anything, but I've definitely put on some lean muscle and my face has leaned out.
I'm only just starting to get to good levels of bodyfat that it affects my face, so only within the last month or so I've seen differences in my face.
So I went out shopping recently and while I was in a store, I saw a woman who looked to be in her (mid 20s?) near me, she made eye contact with me and smiled. I smile back at her, so I go back to looking at clothes and she approaches me and says ''hi''.
She then introduces herself and says that she thinks I look really good, I say thanks and we chat for a bit. She then asks for my number and I give it to her, and then we depart.
Anyway, I gave her a fake number. I was surprised by a few things:
First, that she approached me. This has never happened before. But I loved the validation/attention I was getting. This made me feel really good
Second, she asked for my number instead of social media (Insta/Snapchat/Facebook)
The reason I gave her a fake number? Because even though I found her attractive, I can't be bothered to actually get to know her and pursue her. However, I did enjoy the validation, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
1rrlwzYI94Uz8T6fZmPiJdZMavdsB4Og | ay5ptw | {
"description": "raising my shirt up to my nose to avoid the smell of a passenger on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for raising my shirt up to my nose to avoid the smell of a passenger on the bus? | This happened only about 30 minutes ago and I had to write about it since I’m getting some dirty stares.
I get on the bus to ride home from my school campus when two guys sit next to the two open spots next to me. I’m not being judgmental but their hair had a good amount of grease on it and you can definitely tell that hygiene was not their first priority. I notice almost immediately that there was a certain stench emitting from the one sitting next to me which I could call tolerable, but After a few seconds the two start talking to one another.
Guys... the smell legit made me gag. I grabbed my shirt and threw it over my nose to save myself from passing out. People were looking at me and I could tell that I was making the guy feel a little uncomfortable.
I felt bad about what I did but I couldn’t help it. What would you have done in my situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
qPWCbFww06Cdc8wk20HRQqNHP3H3f4DQ | aj513n | {
"description": "shouting at my mother",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for shouting at my mother? | So.. long story short, I live in my mom’s house while studying and it’s not going that well.
This time, she came to me while I was doing something and just shouted and cursed me angrily that I shouldn’t take the basket I took from the laundry room (about a month after I took it). So I got angry back and said that she doesn’t actually need it because she has another basket right there, I simply swapped the baskets because one was full and one was empty and I wanted the black one for my room, no other reason beside that it compliments my room, so begins a shouting frenzy where I tell her to admit that she only paid attention to it because she searched for something to get angry about, and she keeps saying she doesn’t owe me any explanation. I shout at her that I want an explanation and she says that I’m supposed to ask her before I swap them.
Now, I ask every single time I know it matters, if I want to throw something, if the dishes are supposed to be here or there (Jewish very religious meat milk thing(I think it’s a bunch of bull crap)) and whenever she tells me not to touch something I simply don’t, but she says I had to ask her if I can swap between an empty orange basket and a full black basket and ask if I can move them, she didn’t even notice for a month, and I didn’t know it was even important.
So, I keep shouting at her (sometimes calling her an idiot and stupid and a bitch) and she keeps saying that I’m:
1.think too highly of myself and that’s why she tries to tell me I’m stupid all the time (but when I admit I’m wrong it’s to show of even more {when she couldn’t say I never say I’m wrong she switched to “it doesn’t matter you only do it when it’s convenient to you and only to make your ego even higher”}).
2.don’t have respect for her things even though I ask her about the dishes and ask if I can throw stuff and don’t touch what she tells me not to touch.
3.that I have problems and I need to address them, even though I’m completely healthy IMO.
4.that I disrespect her and belittle her when she keeps doing that to me, and when even if I’m with her she keeps thinking I’m against her.
Now she tells me I can’t live with her which is totally fine I mean it’s still her house but I really do think I’m not the asshole... am I? I did shout but she did too, I did curse (a lot more then her) but she did too, she also cried and I just said that it’s stupid because she has nothing to cry about. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
wy6QG7zPwsQ85qoiK3AWj2yTctfraI59 | 9z29hx | {
"description": "punching a car mirror and breaking a back widow for a guy nearly running me over",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for punching a car mirror and breaking a back widow for a guy nearly running me over | Okay, so here's how this goes. I ride motorcycles, I own a 2017 Honda Grom. If you aren't into bikes let's just say IT'S A SMALL BIKE. I was at a stop light in my hometown and a middle-aged man rear ended me off of my bike and destroyed my exhaust pipe which costed me 250 USD to buy. I stood up and we began to argue then I punched his mirror and headbutted his rear left passenger window before I got back onto my bike and rode away. I understand I ay have taken it far but I need clarification to see if it was justified. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
VzcNO0ro1X0y6rF3tkrT8AXMJDkUe212 | awxhb1 | null | AITA: Wife (30F) travels constantly for work she knows I (31M) don’t like it | Long story short my wife took a new job roughly three years back. At first the job had her working out of one location. Within 6-8 months she was was traveling a lot for the job. Fast forward to now and she is gone roughly 2 weeks each month for no shorter than 5 days at a time . Currently she is at a work conference that leaves here gone for 13 days. She informed me shortly before leaving for this trip that she had been invited on a girls trip that would mean she would be leaving for a weekend just a few days after she gets back from her work trip. I am pretty upset about the situation for several reasons. One, she knows I already don’t like her traveling a ton for work ( I miss her - we are in our 30’s and I want to focus on a family ) , two we don’t have a ton of money and this isn’t a cheap trip she is about to go on. 3- I had overheard her talking to her friend about the dates and how she said she may not be able to make it because she had a show prior - when she came to talk to me about going on the trip she said she wasn’t exactly sure on the dates - I called her out and said that I had heard her and just telling me the truth now would be better than dropping it on me even more last minute . She just brushed this off and got her way. She is now a week into her current trip with a week left to go. Her communication with me is shit when she’s on the road. I feel like she just doesn’t care and doesn’t want to spend time with me. The work travel already had me uneasy and the trip she threw on top has only compounded that and she knew it would - hence her being coy about the dates of the girls trip. Am I the asshole if I leave her? It doesn’t seem like she ever wants to grow up and if I were a betting man , I’d say she doesn’t want much to do with me but doesn’t have the balls to say so. There’s lots of other stuff that has caused for a not so great marriage, but I am tired of planning my life around her work trips. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
qwIrBn7tMzqVXSI58r4FC6zrocEyJ7Z6 | b3qxjo | {
"description": "not buying stuff from the pet store while I'm regular person",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not buying stuff from the pet store while I'm regular person? | This is from my memory from when I'm high school student.
​
While back, this store is named "PETS". It basically sells bunch of the things INCLUDING the puppies. While I am regular in the store, I NEVER brought anything from the store. I only focused on playing with puppies and looking around the pet store. I did this routine for nearly THREE months.
​
One day, that pet store owner come with me with paper written in all caps, "GET OUT. I'M TIRED OF SEEING YOU ON CAM NOT BUYING ANYTHING. AND DON'T COME BACK." I showed it to Pet Store Employee ( one who I like ) and she looks really sad to see me permanently gone.
I think it's wrong of the owner to ban me for not doing anything harmful.
​
Am I the Asshole for just coming to play with puppies and not buying anything? I want to make sure puppies have socialization develop properly.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
k4Zlu6OE4RtvxDoiRLV7zeLGgrHqcWhu | aouo6f | {
"description": "secretly visiting a friend at university without telling my other friend who goes there",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I secretly visited a friend at university without telling my other friend who goes there? | Okay, so I have a feeling that I might look like an asshole straight away from the title, but let me give a bit of context.
I’ve been friends with this girl since we were young, we’ll call her Lily. For the first few years, everything was great, but as we got older the friendship became quite toxic. Lily fell out with pretty much everyone I knew, and became very jealous of my other friendships, claiming that I was replacing her. For a while she was my only friend because I felt bad for being friends with anyone else. Then I realised that I couldn’t spend my life like that, and so I reached out to other people more and made some new friends. Lily was friends with them at first, but eventually fell out with them too. We had a huge fight about it just after we left school, and almost broke friends, but she apologised and I forgave her.
When she started university, I went to visit her quite early on. At the time she was friendly with her flat mates, so I talked to all of them and became quite friendly of them. I exchanged contacts with one girl (we’ll call her Nina), and over the next few months we talked a lot and became quite close friends. In that time, Lily fell out with most of her flat mates, and had a huge fight with Nina’s best friend, ending up with the friend kicking her out of their plan to share accommodation next year. Obviously, Lily hates her now, and is on speaking terms with Nina but doesn’t like her very much.
Recently, I went to visit Lily again. A few months have passed since my last visit. It was a bit awkward because I wanted to spend time with Nina too, but the only chances I got were at night when we ran into each other in the kitchen when Lily was asleep. Then I met another friend of Lily’s, who she’s planning on living with next year. He also hates Nina and her friend, and told me that they kicked him out of the housing plan too. I asked Nina about it, and she explained that he’s basically been stalking her friend, even going into her room at night when she was asleep, and so they decided they couldn’t live with him. Obviously she could be lying, but her story matched up completely with what I’d been told by Lily already, just putting things into the right context, and also Lily has twisted stories in the past to the point that I don’t trust anything she tells me anymore.
So, after I’d returned home, I was still in contact with Nina. She mentioned to me that there was a shop she’d like to show me next to her university next time I was down there (it’s several hours from where I live). I told her that, much as I’d love that, i didn’t think I’d feel comfortable with visiting Lily next year if she’s going to be living with this creepy friend. Obviously I’m going to try and warn lily about this friend, but I haven’t done so yet as I’m not sure how to bring it up. Nina said I was welcome to visit her instead, if I’d still like to visit.
I would love to visit Nina, because we’ve grown quite close recently, and I think she’s an absolutely lovely person. Staying with her would be so much fun. But if i stayed with her, I’d also be staying with her best friend who Lily hates. Lily would never let me do that, because she believes that I shouldn’t be friends with people who she hates (which in some cases is fair enough, but let me remind you that she hates nearly all of my friends already). I would have to keep it a secret from her. Of course she may run into me there, but I’d try not to let that happen.
You may also be wondering why I don’t just break friends with lily, since she’s so controlling. I know I probably should, but with her track record of falling out with people I worry that she’ll never keep any more friends. She has a lot of mental health issues, and at one point I had to call an ambulance because she was texting me threatening to overdose. Her mental health is a bit better at the moment, but could quickly get worse, and I worry that if I leave her she may actually do something.
What should I do in this situation? I don’t want to be dishonest, but I kind of already am being dishonest just by being friends with Nina. I don’t want someone controlling who I spend my time with, but I can’t just abandon Lily, because then she might have nobody. I feel like lying about it is the only way. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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Rz5aErUP0sDGQE7Rko4A0FvsmW2T5AAO | 9tr2y9 | {
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to not be on his phone when we go to bed at night",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting my boyfriend to not be on his phone when we go to bed at night? | I really like falling asleep cuddling my boyfriend. I cherish the time we spend together in silence, just listening to each others breathing and drifting off to sleep. However, most nights he likes to watch YouTube videos until he falls asleep. I usually just lie next to him and fall asleep before he does while he is still on his phone. Sometimes I spoon him while he watches. His lack of attention towards me at bedtime makes me feel a little neglected... I think that this also affects our sex life because when he is distracted by his phone he doesn’t get turned on or initiate sex. It’s not like this is a problem all the time though, we still have sex fairly regularly. If I try to initiate sex he sometimes doesn’t notice cause he is too focused on the phone. I have told him that I really wish he could fall asleep with me without using his phone but he tells me this is selfish because he enjoys his bedtime YouTube routine and this is what he used to do before we dated. AITA for thinking that falling asleep is something for couples to do together? Or am I just being needy and wanting his attention when I shouldn’t? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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15M4zc2nLDZEoNivYQVYojWLYregp3kQ | b9wuld | {
"description": "telling a \"Zumba gatekeeper\" to fuck right off",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a “Zumba gatekeeper” to fuck right off? | I’ve always lurked this subreddit but never thought I’d actually ask anything. Obligatory “this was yesterday”.
I’ve recently kickstarted a new lifestyle and have been eating better and also started attending an LA Fitness. I hate the treadmill with a burning passion, so I’ve been trying to find more creative ways to be active (hiking, tennis, etc).
One thing I’ve really gotten excited for is Zumba. The gym has classes nearly every day for it, and it kicks my ass. Supposedly people come for certain instructors but I just come whenever I feel it fits my schedule.
Yesterday I went to a 10:00 am class and there were tons of people waiting outside as there was yoga going on until the Zumba class began. One older woman left the yoga class a little early and came up to me and this is how our convo went:
Her: What class are all these people waiting for?
Me: Oh, it’s Zumba!
Her: Who’s instructing?
Me: Oh, I’m actually not sure....
Another girl: It’s Jamie.
Her *turns back to me*: Is she as good as Megan or Ashley?
Me: I’m sorry. I don’t actually know the names of any of the instructors. I just come whenever I can.
Her: You don’t know Megan or Ashley? And you’re supposed to be a Zumba dancer? Who comes to classes and doesn’t know the instructors? These classes are for people with a special love for Zumba and people like you who think it’ll make you actually look good ruin it!!!!
This got me really sad and angry as I am pretty overweight and dancing makes me happy and I didn’t understand how this woman could be so shitty. I basically told her that I never called myself a “Zumba dancer” and that she could fuck all the way off if she thought I gave a shit about what she thought about my workout decisions and she huffed and walked off.
I told one of my girlfriends about it and she said I could have been nicer or just ignored, but I don’t think this lady has the right to tell me if I can be in a class that’s for all members.
I probably shouldn’t have told her to fuck off but... it felt deserved. So, AITA?
TLDR: Lady gets upset that I don’t know the instructors by name, says that I’m ruining Zumba and that it won’t make me look any better and I tell her to fuck off. | HISTORICAL | {
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hxNPrwxr7Io2ywKtaFfdVNqbvx5vMe5w | a6uw6z | {
"description": "refusing to open my door to a stranger who wouldn't Id herself",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to open my door to a stranger who wouldn't id herself? | Everything in my head tells me I did nothing wrong here, but I'm also socially stunted and notoriously bad at reading social cues, so I'm second guessing myself here.
So some context before I begin. I live in an apartment complex that comprises of several buildings scattered across what used to be open farm land. I live on the second floor of a building thats at the very end of said farmland. So you need to drive a bit to get to my building and climb a large noisy set of stairs to get to my apartment. Furthermore, I have blackout curtains. They don't filter out everything but you have to be seriously scoping out my apartment to know if the lights are on.
I also used to work door to door sales for several companies. The first rule of door to door sales, is to identify yourself the moment you get a response at the door. Not doing so increases your risk of having the cops called, or worse, being shot. Not even exaggerating, it's happened.
This happened awhile ago and I'm wondering if I was the asshole for how I reacted. It's 6pm on a Sunday night, and I'm half way through a bottle of wine chilling in my living area when I hear a loud engine pull up to my building below. Someone gets out of the car and absolutely charges up my staircase to my apartment door. At first I think it's my neighbor next door. We get along well and sometimes when she's coming home from a party she uses my stair case instead of hers (our porches connect).
But this isn't her. She runs up my staircase which my neighbor has never done, and starts banging on my door like she's trying to break it down.
"Hello!?" -- it's a womans voice
"Hello? Who is it?"
"Hello, can you open the door?"
"what do you want? And who are you"
no answer. but also no footsteps back downstairs so I know this person is still at my door. after a few seconds she starts banging at my door again.
"Ma'am you need to identify yourself!" -- still no answer. Alarm bells are going off in my head. Again, I've worked direct sales. This person is refusing to give at least a name, then they're not police and they're not a salesperson for any company. I'm also at that level of drunkenness where you're nice and warm and very aware of your limitations. If this person forces their way in I won't be able to hold my own in a fight.
"Lady you need to tell me who you are or I'm calling the police. This is not okay."
Threatening to call the police must've scared her because she starts charging back down my stairwell at this point. once i can't hear the footsteps anymore I grab the small knife from my cutting block and run downstairs. I get to the bottom just as the woman is getting in her car. I call out to her but she doesn't respond. finally right as her car is in front of my stair well again she gets out of the car and addresses me.
She's looking for building 5.
dafaq really? Building 5 is two buildings up the drive way and it's where the laundromat is so it's well lit. I point here in the right direction and head back upstairs hiding my right hand from her. I'm still not completely calmed down right now, and I'll be definitely sleeping with the boot knife I keep on my night stand. I guess I just need to know if I over reacted here. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 20,
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t8ftSyKwGczjhfqLOixRENTR787ZjhhN | aqsies | {
"description": "asking if there are extra tickets",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking if there are extra tickets? | Ok so I’ll keep this short. I’m part of this group that tries to help improve community living. As a reward for our work during the previous year the 5 of us were given a box at a local game. I wasn’t sure if I should but I asked if there was any extra tickets to bring one friend. The answer was no but my supervisor was very short about it. Am I the asshole for asking if I could bring a friend? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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GApXud0Fi8IRTw258vbtMyEHBPhGvUea | a1ee6u | {
"description": "hating to see my ex girlfriend hanging out with my ex best friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hating to see my ex girlfriend hanging out with my ex best friend? | I broke up with her, been trying to move on with my life.
I also finished a 7 year friendship with this really toxic friend.
She always said terrible things about him as a person and as a friend.
7 months later, they are posting pictures hanging out at the nightclub I met her.
(He is gay though) | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
FVd9Wz2pLbr7QW2hl76TymLOwJ4hh5nP | a47bnn | {
"description": "wanting to finally leave",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to finally leave? | Alright so this is a long one (sort of) so bear with me!
Backstory: I’ve dated this guy for two and a half years, the first year into it he cheated on me while I was away for about a month getting my health in order
Recently, we’ve just gotten off our seasonal job of 6 months and that was already stressful for our relationship, and now we are having money issues. He can’t save money worth shit, and owes his stepfather and me (me being around 400 hundred dollars). I, on the other hand, am doing decent with saving money but I’m the one paying bills and all the groceries as we live together, and stuff for our new cat (that he decided he wanted that has now turned into MY cat).
Now, I’m only 20 years old and he is 24. I have the internet in my name, and he has the power in his. His mother recently decided not to pay her own internet in a different company’s name, and decided to sign up with my company and use my name as the account owner. I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want her stuff under my name as I’m the “child” in this situation, and she’s ruined her sons credit and her own by never paying bills and the bills collecting. My boyfriend then told his stepdad for me (as I was too scared) and his mom found out and it was a very ridiculous situation where she was taking advantage of me because I don’t know how to say no, and now her stuff is now under my name.
Fast forward to yesterday, I noticed that my boyfriend has been talking shit about me to his mom, about flights home to visit my family for christmas and how I always bring up money issues (which I do not, I might have mentioned a week ago that I was sorry and could not pay his ticket back from my parents) and lied to his mom about how he thought I booked return (I definitely did not and he knew), and his mom is now bashing me, blaming her husband and her fighting on me and that she will “call my mom” and have a discussion with her. I finally told him last night to f*ck the money he owes me, and that once we hit my parents place I will be staying a bit longer to visit.
In reality, I plan on staying at my parents and not returning as I’m fed up with all this that has happened, and tons more.
So, AITA for wanting to finally be done with this relationship? Or NTA?
(also, sorry if there is any confusion, this is a jumbled mess but tried to be straightforward as possible!) | HISTORICAL | {
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dWXL6v9eQxGKDi13yzZeildTsQYfdciU | alhw4t | {
"description": "not giving a flying fuck about where this dude lives",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving a flying fuck about where this dude lives? | AITA for this?
This kid I know lives in a different state than me and every time I bring up something he goes on and on about how his state is poor and how his state is just this and that, but I don’t give a shit.
I could say the roads here are cracked and he goes in to say he has no roads we ride in cows(not literally). But like every time it’s something bad about his state like wtf.
I know I’m an ass for feeling annoyed by him when he goes on about talking about something he likes. It’s always this ones specific thing and it’s annoying. The other day it was like 2 in the morning and he started talking about a movie and usually talking about a movie goes like this
“ yeah the movie was good I liked it”
“What’s it’s name?”
“Harry Potter”
But no. When he talks about movies he talks about how many cuts there were, how many actors died, the exact specifics of this and that, bloopers no one asked for, The directors and actors life’s stories. I really don’t give a fuck about any of this and it’s annoying bc who cares???!!!???
I feel bad about it bc he loves movies but honestly, too much is too much.
So AITA for these two things? Ik they’re gonna say yes but eh what the hell I may as well post it. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
IM3B8kjZWv6v7aQre4WGMvY6YLLDLQGy | aspbh1 | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend to get rid of her rescue dog",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend to get rid of her rescue dog? | I rent on my own a semi-detached home. It’s in a good location for me (very close to the train to work and there’s a supermarket that’s walking distance as well). Despite a small yard out the back, the lease explicitly states that there are no pets or animals allowed on the property (I assume guide dogs would be fine though?).
Through work I had to go out of state for around a fortnight. My girlfriend (who lives with her parents) offered to housesit since she’s on uni break and set herself up more in my place.
3 days before I’m due to return, property management emails me to say I’m in breach of my lease with a pet on the property and that nuisance barking has been reported (attached is a photo of a dog in my yard). I need to fix the problem or I’ll be asked to vacate if it’s not fixed.
I call up the missus and ask what’s going on. It was supposed to be a surprise, but the dog is a rescue and apparently was days away from being put down due to being unadoptable. Now it has a forever home at mine and we’re bloody heroes for saving it.
I definitely my cool. Threw around a lot of fucks. “What the fuck were you thinking?”, “stupid fucking decision”, etc. I reckon I threw in an insult or two as well. It was a fight and I felt I had no control of the situation.
Ultimately, I say the dog has to be gone by the time I’m back. Not my dog, don’t make it my problem. I return and the dog is still there. It’s a nice enough dog (barking aside) but I can’t have it as I don’t want to risk my lease. I don’t particularly even want a dog right now and it’s just a problem I don’t want to deal with. The dog has to be gone.
Apparently I’m a heartless bastard because according to the missus, if this dog is returned it’s curtains for it and it’s put to sleep. Girlfriend’s parents can’t have it for some reason and no one else wants it. So for the past few days the missus has been crashing at friends places with the dog she refuses to get rid of. Some (not all) of our mutual acquaintances are pissed at me because “real men don’t act like that”.
I don’t really feel like the arsehole here, but that’s probably what all arseholes think.
So, I’m opening myself up to judgement (although it's with a dirty throwaway).
​
**TL;DR**
Girlfriend was housesitting my place. She adopted a dog from deathrow. My lease doesn’t allow pets. Get warning from property management about the dog so I tell girlfriend to get rid of the dog potentially condemning it back to deathrow. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
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8OwP3qBxYxs08EbcG4OPXhOspgiW067c | a8n4rx | {
"description": "firing my buddy",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for firing my buddy? | Good friend of mine and myself work in the food industry. We are both chefs. I recently took a new catering gig and hired him on as my Sous.
I put my name on him in order to get him hired. A couple weeks go by and we are killing it although he has made a couple of bad first impressions amongst the owners and other management.
Fast forward to the night before it all went down. We are having a few beers. Its 10:30. I go home because we have to be at work at 8am. He stays out for "just one more." I go to sleep and wake up at 5:30am to him calling me, he is plastered drunk wanting to go in to work immediately. I tell him to go to bed and that he better be there at 8.
I call him at 7:45, no answer. I go to work and he's not there. His girlfriend texts me and says he's in the hospital. Apparently he passed out on the street and woke up in the hospital.
He shows up to work at 9am pissed off because I told his girlfriend he's probably fired. We have a back and forth. I tell him that I covered for him and if he just goes to work we can forget about it. He starts working but is being an asshole to everyone and has a crazy look in his eyes.
He wants the day off because he just got out of the hospital, claiming he wasn't drunk at any point last night. I asked him if he remembered talking to me at 5:30 because he sure as shit was drunk then.
I told him the friend in me says go home and sleep but right now I'm your boss and you gotta work. I know you just partied all night and fucking wound up in the hospital.
I told him it's up to you, go home or work but you know what's going to happen if you go home. He went home. We haven't spoken since, it's been about a week.
In my mind he blew off work by drinking all night. Not taking this seriously at all. He was making me look bad at my new place of employment. I felt like I had to put my foot down and let him know we cannot be late and that we need to lead by example.
Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 9,
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NhxSZ0NeDbrcRjv3IRBhQolw0zjSlYMo | aoj65c | null | AITA: My grandma's dying and mom wont quit giving me updates | Trigger warning: childhood abuse/trauma, illness, homophobia, transphobia, eating disorder, rape mentioned
This is sort of a heavy post, but I honestly am not sure how to feel or act. On my mom's side, they were very supportive of the LGBT community. After I came out however, they started spouting homophobic and transphobic crap to everyone around them, saying they no longer supported the community. To sum it up, my family hates me just that much.
Why, you may ask? Good question. It's simple.
I was named after my mom's children, who were triplets and died before me. I was concieved and born shortly after, and received their names to replace them. My grandmother at an early age pulled me aside one day, and told me I had to live for 4 people, and that I had to prove that I deserved to live more than the triplets. I remember being a little girl, crying as she told me if I wasn't good enough, that she'd "make mommy put [me] in foster care to try again."
From then on, I received constant verbal abuse from my mom's side whenever we had family visits and whenever they had the chance. My mom neglected me for most of my childhood and was very verbally abusive and hostile, and my only real memories of her are her sitting in her room calling my grandmother to complain about how annoying I was. My mom eventually started sending me up to my grandmother's alone for a few weeks during school breaks to "fix me." And that usually resulted in me being sat down on the couch, or sitting in the car on a long road trip while being berrated about everything wrong with me.
I thought I was a freak. A monster. This one instance, I was sat down with my grandmother and my aunt while they told me they hated me, thought I was a spoiled brat, and was the worst thing to ever come to the family because my parents were divorcing and my mom had started having seizures. They said I was a murderer and that I was killing my mom.
My grandmother would say I was a freak for being a virgin, or wearing my hair a certain way, or dressing a certain way. She berated my beliefs and constantly berrated my father.
My self esteem was extremely low. I developed an eating disorder and an extreme anxiety disorder.
When I came out as transgender, of course my mom's family was not supportive. They first distanced from me, talking horribly behind my back. They stopped inviting me to Christmas and for many years didn't speak to them at all. I finally confronted them about it, and they disowned me.
Eventually, my mom and I started talking again (we don't have a good relationship for separate reasons), and our relationship is okay. Until I try to talk to her about the abuse I experienced from her family, specifically the physical abuse I received from my cousin. The next day, I received a ton of angry texts cussing me out saying horrible things from my grandmother. She disowned me again, calling me a fat pig and saying "you WISH your cousin raped you, you pussy licking cock sucker!" Among other things I can't repeat. I proceeded to call her a dog fucker and other very horrible things such as "I guess if I wanted to be raped you wanted your stupid husband to beat you."
A week later, my grandmother had a heart attack and had to have surgery. My mom kept texting me updates, and I was supportive of my mom at first, holding my tongue, but then it became daily updates and I snapped. I told her "the world would be a better place if that bitch died" and that she was "a heartless cunt who is a psychopath and deserves all the shit she gets in life." I was angry. My mom got mad at me saying "dont talk about my mom like that!!!! That's my mother!!!" I sent screenshots of the conversation reminding my mom of what my grandmother has been saying to me. Mom took her side, blaming me.
A week has passed and mom has sent me another text saying, "I don't know if you care, but your grandmother has been diagnosed with lung cancer." And I replied with "I guess from all the years of smoking cigarettes."
I got angry and texted my grandmother saying "better luck next time you bitch, there's a special place in hell for you."
Am I the asshole? Part of me feels like I am. Should I have just kept my mouth shut about my feelings to keep my mom in my life and for moms sake?
I've been feeling very conflicted, especially when I spoke some horrible venom back at my grandmother.
Long story short: I haven't seen my grandmother in many years, as I was disowned, and am annoyed and hostile over updates about my grandma basically dying. I know my mom's looking for sympathy but I've met her with hostility. I've only cried once over the news.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
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ravQ9npxl0Bt7mnJsL5SJyc8z89j3Z5R | al40m5 | {
"description": "not allowing my partner to bring Guns in our home",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for not allowing my partner to bring Guns in our home? | Huge trigger warning. My boyfriend loves guns, it's not a huge issue for me. I'm more left leaning and he's more right. We have been talking about moving in together and I mentioned that I wouldn't be comfortable with them in our apartment. I've dealt with suicide for a long time and he knows this. I don't think I would be in danger, I just do the want to take the chance. I haven't explicitly told him that's why I'm uncomfortable, he called me "a controlling Libtard" and we started fighting about politics. I'd still rather him think that than tell him the real reason why.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 19,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
14MUNF3DCtrHrIignoH59u3Y78E007hS | 9y0bcc | null | Aita? Or is my gf going mad? | Okay so I've this friend pretty sure I'd call her my best mate by now we met in work 7 months ago and became super close from I'd car pool too work with her and we'd usually go get coffee or something after work just so we could hang out and shoot more shit. I left that place a month ago for a new job and havnt really got to chill with my mate since so I dropped her a line to get coffee last night and we met up but got hungry so we went and got food I didn't eat all day so I suggested a local restaurant. We chilled caught up and had some laughs and went or ways. I went home and my gf was asking what I was doing so I told her I went for food with my bf. Now she's going mental at me saying I basically went on a date with her for the record Ive got no feelings for her and vice versa were just close mates AMITA or is gf crazy? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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Wrs1ERF4gCVRZihIu7ZkIvOxaQaKUb6k | a41k54 | {
"description": "ratting on my group project partner for plagiarizing her portion",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ratting on my group project partner for plagiarizing her portion? | LTL, made an account just to post this.
This happened years ago when i was in college. I’m going to be totally honest with you, I never considered myself to be the asshole in this situation but I’m starting to doubt myself. Recently, I told this story to a group of friends and they all said that I had done a really shitty thing. I’m posting here to get more opinions because, of what I did was asshole-ish, I really want to know.
When I was in college, I took this one class that had a ton of group projects and group papers. We never got to pick our partners. It was annoying, but it wasn’t really a problem until the last project of the semester.
For our last project, I was placed in a group with two other people. Let’s calls them good student and slacker. Slacker was known for not putting much effort into the group projects. For this reason, good student and I decided to give her the easiest portion of the project. In hindsight, we should have just done the whole thing ourselves but, at the time, we felt like there was no way we’d get it done without any help from slacker.
Weeks go by. Good student and I are working very hard on our respective portions of the project. We hear nothing from slacker. She’s been cutting class and won’t answer our emails.
Finally, one week before the project is due, I get a hold of slacker’s phone number and text her telling her that we need to know whether she’s going to complete her portion. She assured me that she is working on it and that she will get it to me in time. I’m somewhat doubtful, but I have other classes to worry about and can’t afford to take on her part of the project.
Two hours before the project is due, slacker sends good student and me her portion. I’m reading through it and it sounds surprisingly good but it also sounds familiar, as if I’ve read it before. Good student points out that it looks a lot like one of the articles we used to research the project. We confront slacker and she admits that she used the article but that “it will be fine because I changed some words.”
Um, no. Changing a few words is not enough.
Good student and I freak out. There’s not enough time to redo her portion. We’re both feeling really stupid about not just planning on doing her part from the beginning.
We decide to submit the project as is but I email our professor and tell her what happened. I ask that we each be graded for our individuals portions of the project. Professor agrees. I never spoke to slacker again, but I heard that she had to retake the class.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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3FYBJvJ9hzLvw9kEjX6duZVjF2sR8Vf4 | 9yn3om | {
"description": "yelling \"Taxi!\" when I see a skier stack it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for yelling “Taxi!” when I see a skier stack it? | My friends got annoyed at me for this but I thought and still think it’s hilarious and harmless. I’d laugh if someone did it to me, and laugh at myself anytime I stack it. | HISTORICAL | {
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WMlKckS75njoXLY7za9Ejd8q2fbyQa3A | b45heu | {
"description": "leaving my trash in a a park that had no trash bins in it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 224
} | AITA for leaving my trash in a a park that had no trash bins in it | So me, my parents and my little brother went to a park reserve for an afternoon hangout. We walked to the view point, where we sat and had lunch. When we were done, my mom pulled out some plastic bags and we cleaned all the trash we had left behind. We were left with 3 small trash bags. We then continued to walk around the park for another hour or so, continually searching for bins to which we could throw out bags into. The park had no bins whatsoever. We searched EVERYWHERE and even asked the handful of people who were also there (there were no park inspectors or anyone official for that matter) but no one saw any trash bins anywhere.
In the end we decided to leave our bags on a branch of a tree at the entrance to the park (near the parking lot), where if someone would come to clean he wouldn't miss it but it wouldn't be just stranded in the middle of the park. Our car is rather new and very small, and we didn't feel like it's our responsibility to take the trash with if the park inspectors don't even care about putting trash bins in the park.
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | WRONG |
70fHY73cF9GwxezUNj8p921DM9THGMO7 | az525s | {
"description": "thinking an open relationship should have certain rules",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for thinking an open relationship should have certain rules? | hey everyone, i how you're having a pleasant day. tldr at the end.
so i'm 19 and have been in a relationship for nearly two years now with the girl of my dreams
we fight sometimes but honestly everything has been going great, especially since we're both in weird places in our lives, and have a lot of issues. even through a lot of difficult situations (coming out as trans, cases of irrational jealousy, and many more) we've been there for eachother and i don't regret a minute I've been with her
so anyway she'd been rather down for a couple weeks and i didnt really get why, but yesterday she told me that she would like to try a sort of open relationship possibly involving kinky flirty games, threesomes, and/or sleeping with other people.
i was really surprised and she was really hysterical in the moments leading up to telling me. I'll spare you the details of the conversation we had after about the why/how, but i was supportive as hell and i told her i'd think about it
i'd be lying if i said i hadn't desired other people before, but never thought about acting on it purely because it was only physical and because i didn't want to ruin my awesome relationship (me and gf are also just really good friends, and i know that in the foreseeable future i won't be connecting emotionally with anyone other than her)- so i'm pretty much down to try this but am i the asshole for being gender biased? i can definitely see myself being disturbed by her picking certain guys, but not any girls.. am i the asshole for thinking we should be able to veto each other's 'candidates'?
thanks for your input
L
tdlr: AITA for thinking we should be able to veto each other's possible fuck buddies? AITA because i don't mind the idea of my gf being intimate with girls but i do mind the idea of her being intimate with certain guys? | HISTORICAL | {
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HZnWpUGigswXkXxmiRSYs370SuhucPZh | a0pc5f | {
"description": "gifting everyone paintings for Christmas instead of buying gifts",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I gifted everyone paintings for Christmas instead of buying gifts? | I've had a tough year - my mother and two good friends passed away, I've been very ill, had two colonoscopies, my daughter started kindergarten at a private school, and my partner and I are trying to gain custody of his eleven year old daughter - so I haven't been working as much as I usually would, especially during the holiday season. I do freelance work, so my employment isn't is danger, I'm just processing a lot, and haven't been working any more than I have to to pay the bills and, like, buy tea.
Due to everything going on, I decided to paint pictures for the people on my list. The kids are getting a few items, but they're also getting paintings from me instead of their usual one big gift. My partner is still getting them gifts,too.
These are paintings that I usually sell anywhere from fifty to a hundred USD, and they're gallery quality. I finish them with resin and gold gilding, and each painting takes anywhere from three to eighteen hours of *hands on* time, not to mention how much time it takes each painting to cure.
I mentioned to a buddy of mine that everyone was getting a painting, and she called me stingy, lazy, and said that I'm shaping up to be a nasty 'evil step mother' to my step daughter, and it was an asshole move. She really harped on the fact that I was going to ruin my kid's Christmas with paintings, and that my step kid would hate it.
So, will I be an asshole if everyone gets a painting for Christmas instead of gifts? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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DCI4Tnvr2jeUPCVLTcb83JfKS0DwfwB4 | aaqjs4 | {
"description": "pretending I was married in order to sleep with homewreckers",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I pretended I was married in order to sleep with homewreckers? | Just curious not going to do it. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
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eyM7Jaco3bRWrgVJqRxTm3LoYb0F3E5v | axwvv9 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to find a job before moving in together",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to find a job before moving in together ? | Hi Reddit !
​
This is a throwaway account because I recently introduced her to reddit.
My girlfiriend and I have been together for 7 months now and things are going really good between us. We recently talked about moving to a new place of our own.
​
I really like her and I'm sure living together will work great. The only problem I might have with this is that she currently doesn't have a job. She receives about 700€/month and wants to live in a 1000€/month appartment (so 500€/month each). I can't see how this will work out. Either she will have to live off her savings (which are not illimited I guess) or I will end up paying for most of the stuff we need. Plus, if things don't work out for the two of us, I definitly can't afford a 1000€/month appartment on my own.
​
I obviously don't have to tell her how to manage her finances but this situation makes me uncomfortable. Would it be reasonnable for me to ask her to wait until she finds a job before looking for a place for us ? Or WIBTA ? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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HoL34nTMYXlBKkThcooUZ33vFGRxWV9J | addml4 | {
"description": "not giving my best with my studies",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving my best with my studies? | AITA for not giving my absolute max into my degree and for thinking that my parents should let me deal with my health and do things at my own pace?
I am a college student (19yo).
I started last year and failed the year (my first time failing ever). I'm studying Biochemistry, which i dont really enjoy and am not really good at. I was pretty much pressured by my parents to study science when my passion has always been art and languages.
However, they are paying for my studies (like they did to my older brother) and it does not come too cheap (my family isnt rich but not struggling), but I swear I am trying to make it worth. Possibly not my best, but the best i can do for now.
I should talk about my relationship with my parents. It is not good. Pretty toxic. Psychologically abusive father and my mom uses me as a emotional cane. They dont believe me when I say I'm struggling. Be it physical health issues or psychological. I moved away because of college, and I could finally see a psychiatrist on my own accord.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and when I told my father, he laughed. My mom simply said she didn't think it was a real worry. The doctor said I've been depressed since my pre-teens and I've recently started to take antidepressants (barely 2 months in) and things seem to be slowly getting on track. But by then, my second try at the first semester was already doomed.
My parents treat every little academic failure of mine as if it is a huge dissapointment. If i get a bad grade the automatic reaction is a sigh and a "i dont know what will be of you......." it just makes me feel even worse and frustrated because i know i can do better, but somehow, right now, i somehow cant (does it make sense?). I absolutely hate to feel like I am wasting their money, and I hate feeling like I failed. I pretend to pay back my first year (failed year) when I start working.
I chose to prioritise my health over my studies at my parents cost and pretty much against their will. But it's their money... am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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1eDQzNDScdm8lQisOnzUCX6G1UAmYqCH | b2muxn | {
"description": "kicking out my alcoholic girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for kicking out my alcoholic girlfriend? | We've known each other for more than 10 years and have had a FWB relationship for most of that time but nothing that ever lasted more than a few months at a time and always ended mutually. Because of this we have always been good friends and always seem to end up in each others lives every few months. I should also mention that we are both addicts and struggle with substance abuse, but I am almost 5 months sober.
About 6 or 7 weeks ago she (32F) called me (30M) out of the blue asking for help. Long story short, she said she wanted out of her situation with her then boyfriend, alcohol addiction and other shady lifestyle choices (red flags 1, 2 and 3, I know). I offered to help her by letting her stay at my house so she could detox, find a job and get herself back on her feet as long as she was serious. She agreed, ended her relationship and came to live with me.
It was a bit rocky at first but once she got through the withdrawals we started having a lot of fun with each other. She found a job fast and was already contributing (without me asking). About 2 weeks in her first relapse came. I'll admit I was probably a bit more upset than I should have been so we argued about it. I explained to her that recovery is the most important thing in my life and her using makes it extremely difficult for me. I stressed that I want her to be able to talk to me when she is struggling since I am going through the same thing. She apologized and seemed to understand.
A couple weeks go by, she texts me at work saying she invited her ex over to drop off some of her things she left. At first I didn't mind (at least she was up front with me about it), but then she came home drunk and tried to hide it. I had to call her out on it before she admitted to it. She also insisted that she truly only wanted to get her stuff from her ex, but we still had another argument that lasted a couple days. Things cooled off as the week went on and I forgave her. Another couple weeks go by and everything is mostly great.
Unfortunately, last night she had another relapse (and tried to hide it from me again) and that pushed me over the edge. We had a huge argument that lead me to kicking her out that night. I explained her that I've lost her trust because she continues to relapse and tries to hide it from me, and that it is affecting my own recovery. If its recovery we both truly want then a relationship between us isn't going to work. Its going to be the same thing every time.
In the end she was able to find someone to come get her within an hour of me telling her to leave, from some guy she had been talking with on Snapchat. She also left all of her belongings at my house (including her dog and phone) which have since been boxed up and put in the garage. She most likely did not show up for work today. I feel rather guilty because I care about this girl, and that I probably brought this all onto myself. And now that I've kicked her out I've screwed up her recovery process too. | HISTORICAL | {
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qUBR2CxhwuySEckvPPlsMwCU3kfZMpDw | b3rhhf | {
"description": "being uncomfortable/annoyed when people have sex in the same room as me",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being uncomfortable/annoyed when people have sex in the same room as me? | So, I have two of my friends who are in a relationship currently living with me in a studio apartment. They have the living room, and I have my “bedroom” with no door. We’ll call them Mike and Anna.
Living arrangements are definitely subject to change in a few months once we’ve saved up enough to move to a 2-bedroom. The reason we’re all squished in here is because the two of them needed a place to stay to get away from Mike’s narcissistic parents who essentially were trying to ruin Anna’s life over her “taking him” from them.
Among the other issues that can arise from three people living in a studio, Mike and Anna obviously have sex. Most of the time, they’re not bad about it and either do it when I’m not home or at night when they have a video playing or something to muffle the noise.
They aren’t loud and obnoxious about it. Usually. The problems arise when they don’t have anything playing to muffle the sounds and I hear....well, everything. And I can’t make myself to go sleep until they stop. Even if I can’t hear it, just hearing it start and knowing it’s going on is enough to keep me on edge even with headphones. Usually it isn’t for long.
Last night though, I got about four hours of sleep just because they started at around 12:30am and kept at it till about 2:30-3am. And it was a good bit louder than it usually is. Ended up blasting videos from my phone at full volume because I left my headphones at work and was also annoyed that it kept going for so long. And very tired. I realize it was petty, but ugh.
Haven’t mentioned it to them as of this morning. Don’t know if I need to. Still irritated about losing sleep over it. I can’t exactly tell them don’t have sex. But I dunno, it’s always skeeved me out when people bang near where I can hear all the little noises and such.
Would I be an asshole for asking for...some kind of compromise, I don’t know what, with having sex? Until we get separate rooms in a new place, that is. I don’t want to make them feel unsafe or that they need to walk on eggshells around me. Do I just keep quiet about it and try to find a pair of earplugs that render me temporarily deaf for when I go to bed? | HISTORICAL | {
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aJ1AAVSC6mHTb5Dy4OSLVL2j73hcRrDX | al5tad | {
"description": "keeping a guys iphone after he threw it out his car window while being crazy abusive to his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for keeping a guys iphone after he threw it out his car window while being crazy abusive to his girlfriend? | Hello AITA. I’m truly torn on this one so looking for judgement.
To set the stage last night we were at a sidewalk bar since it was gorgeous out. We were right next to an intersection with a stop sign and all of sudden a ridiculously nice car pulled up to the stop sign with a much older man and a girl that was MAYBE 19. He was screaming his head off calling her c-word, b-itch, that she had broken thier arrangement and on and on. They were there so long the car behind them honked twice to get them to move.
All of sudden the guy says “fuck this!” Really loud and his phone came screeching across the sidewalk and landed right under my chair. My friend saw him throw it and they drove away. I assumed it was the girls but it was unlocked so I checked and judgeing from this dudes Instagram with hundreds and hundreds of duck lip selfies, it was his phone.
I quickly changed the passcode and we spend the next 10 minute laughing out asses off how ridiculous this guy was. All of the sudden his car pulls up the the intersection, he turned on his flashers literally blocking traffic so he could get out and look for his phone. He went up and down the bar seating asking if anyone had seen his phone but IF Anyone saw we had it they didn’t say anything because he was such a douche.
So cops came and warned him to move along so he did. Maybe 30 minutes later the phone locked with a message “this is douchey douchersons phone. Huge reward. Please call me at xxx xxx xxxx if found.”
I have a friend who works at the bar across the street so I went over, called from thier phone and called the number. He said his reward was $40. I literally laughed at him and hung up. In the next 20 minute the phone was apparently remotely erased.
So that’s it. I have no idea what I can do with this phone and at this point I think it’s a done deal. Part of me finds it karma, part of me knows how I’d be freaking out if it was my phone and I habe some sympathy. But I would never chuck my phone out a car window to teach my hot sugar baby a lesson.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | WRONG |
eQi5BIn7JWdJKLCgRs2Q9TAYRqPAX6pS | 9wuv9u | {
"description": "not wanting a new guy in my discord server",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting a new guy in my discord server. | Background Information:
I have a discord server that I go into about every day and it's the main way any of my close friends contact each other. I have known most of the people in the discord server for about most, five years and least, one year. We post very personal information inside it, and is just an all around safe place for me and probably my friends. The server is split owned by all four of us, we all have access to the main owner account of the server. We are all basically co-owners.
Story:
My friends and I recently started to play a game called CS:GO together. We have been playing it for about the last three days, when some guy on the other team decided to send a friend request to my friend, that I will call Friend 1. Friend 1 decided to accept the friend request, but I didn't really think much of it. Until when we que up for another match of CS:GO and this rando joined in our party. This confused me a little but didn't care much since we would get in a match with randoms anyway. In the game the guy doesn't seem to speak much and is quite, in fact I had more fun talking to the other guys in the match then him. My initial thought after that match was that it seems like this guy doesn't talk much and will probably be forgotten about. I then tell Friend 1 that I'm going to go make some food, watch TV and be back later.
After about two hours of eating and cleaning, I come back to none of my friends in the discord voice but they were all online. My first instinct was to @ them, after I was invited to a group voice call a few seconds later. It had Friend 1, another close Friend I will call Friend 2, and some random person that I did not recognize. They said they were all playing Roblox prison escape, which was weird becuase I haven't played Roblox for a long while, but I decided to join them. While this whole game is happening, I ask who the stranger is, no response. I ask again, with no response. They just keep talking about the game, I check to see if my mic is muted and it's not. I ask another time and finally get the reply of "It's the guy who friended Friend 1 in CS:GO. This shocked me becuase I didn't think there was any connection with the guy but obviously they thought otherwise. After a long two hours of playing this game and still barley talking to this guy, I decide to pack up and go to sleep.
Then the next day, I wake up and have a normal day doing normal me things. When near the end of the day I dicide to check on the discord server. To my dismay, I see this random dude I just met, is in our personal discord server. (Anyone we have added into the server, one of us has at least known for a whole and met them in real life at least once), but now there is this random guy.
I talk to Friend 1 and my other friend, Friend 3 about it. Neither seemed to care too much but I later convinced Friend 3 this was an issue. I didn't want some random guy in here. It seems like he is also treating this server to himself, as all the chat rooms are filled with pictures he uploaded and text conversations. All of these together made it almost impossible to just ignore him.
I bring it up to Friend 2, who is apparently the guy who invited the random. Friend 2 seemed to have a _crush_ on this guy, someone we literally just met two days ago, over the internet! I am outraged and tell him to please not bring random people into this server unless we all agree on it. He tells me that I am being an asshole and that he will leave if I kick home. At this point i felt like Friend 2 liked this random guy over me. I talk to him about how we should all agree on things like this and not go behind each others back. After a while it became a shouting match and everyone was getting irritated, but then Friend 3 kicks the random out of the server and I feel better. Friend 2 gets mad and leaves the server, as in he actually leaves the server not just the voice channel.
I think Friend 2 is over reacting and I only wanted to keep the server with close friends. Friend 1 is complaining about how he thinks we both were overreacting and that I was apart of the issue.
I think in all, the random guy should of been kicked no doubt about it. I think Friend 2 should of never invited him into our personal discord channel without asking all of us first.
Added Info:
I don't mind talking to new people and would love to actually meet the guy, but I would only like for that to happen outside of the discord channel first, then a decision would be made about inviting him. | HISTORICAL | {
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UqOKpGy83g5flnp30Ei3m9aOfdgr35BW | an9ada | {
"description": "wanting to drink the tequila of a friend of a friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to drink the tequila of a friend of a friend? | So over Halloween my girlfriend and I had our big group of friends over before we all went out. Some girls in our group are friends with this girl (we'll call her Kelly) but my girlfriend and I are not close with her at all.
It was Kelly's first time over to our place but we knew her through these friends. Since it was Halloween we had a bunch of candy here.
Kelly got extremely drunk and then poured the candy (which was in the individual wrapping) all over herself, the couch and the floor intentionally, thinking it would make a good joke. Then she jumped up and announced that we needed to get downtown and got people to start ordering Ubers.
All of us were then pushed to get our shoes and stuff on and get out the door because she had already ordered us a 30$ Uber. So my girlfriend and I didn't have time to clean up.
When we got home, the candy was everywhere, along with other stuff she left and messed up in the apartment. And we saw that our cats had gotten into the candy.
My girlfriend and I then had to clean up this big mess she left and we called her out in the group chat that we had made. Just saying that she made this mess, that the cats got into it, and that she could and should have cleaned up the mess that she made. She then got back saying that when we had the party we should expect a mess to be made, which we did, and that it's not her fault and that we make messes at her house (she lives with our friends) and that we don't clean it up.
We knew that there was going to be a mess of some sorts but what she left was extremely excessive and it is definitely her fault. Also we go to her house but we never make a mess and if we do it is cleaned up and it's always small.
So now 4 months later she has distanced herself from our entire group of friends, not even acknowledged myself or my girlfriend, and won't even take part in things like roommate Christmas or doing chores around the house that she lives in with our friends.
So Reddit was I the asshole for getting mad at her and would I be an asshole if I drank the whole bottle of tequila that she left at my place
TL:DR, my friends roommate came to my house on Halloween, got drunk, poured candy on the floor that my cats got into, I got mad and she got defensive. She then stopped speaking to me or my friend and I want to drink the tequila that she left at my house
| HISTORICAL | {
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qugCfWm5UZgjzOVkGIuat2awPvHp0wNs | avjswo | {
"description": "telling my grandma she has no legal rights",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my grandma she has no legal rights? | My parents kicked me out of my house and discontinued their payments for my high school. My grandma paid the other half of my tuition. I went to the financial aid office at my school and asked for any financial help. They said they would definitely help, and would consider my options.
My grandma said she wish I hadn’t done it, and said the tuition isn’t my problem. I told her the office can’t talk to her since she’s neither a parent or guardian, so they have to talk to me. She got made at this.
Did I make a mistake? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | INFO | {
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m1mJubMJmpB7RMKfdwQnp1xufomAwjGJ | 9wck5e | {
"description": "getiing upset that my boyfriend dosnt care if Im upset at night",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getiing upset that my boyfriend dosnt care if im upset at night | I have been going through a lot of stress from work and moving for the last few weeks and broke down crying tonight. Bad timing for him i guess as it its 3 am but i have been feeling like shit the past few days and have been trying to talking to him about it. I felt like maybe he didnt notice how bad my mind was today until i started quietly sobbing to myself in bed and he told me he could hear me and that he dosent want to deal with it right now and i should respect that he wants to go to bed... I was feeling really alone and inside my own head. I get that he needs his sleep but i just wanted to feel like he was there for me...p.s we have been dating for 9 years so not a short term thing. I thought he would have my back cuz i normally have his. Thoughts please. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5gx5L0iO1frUZRh87Qt22gEoEYmuHdRZ | b54rke | {
"description": "getting upset with one of my best friends for hanging out with my boyfriend without me and inviting him to her house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For getting upset with one of my best friends for hanging out with my boyfriend without me and inviting him to her house? | To give a little background, we met him on the same night so it's not as if they were previously best friends or anything. They're friends, not particularly close but they talk occasionally. My friend has won over more than a few guys I've been interested in, so now that I finally have one I care about quite a bit I'm cautious.
She invited me to lunch but I was busy so she invited some other friends who all ended up being busy and he was the only one who wasnt so she went and got lunch with him. I was slightly bitter but figured its whatever they're just getting lunch no biggie. The part that upsets me is that after lunch she invited him into her home, just the two of them. He said no, of course, because he agrees its pretty strange.
I confronted her on the issue and she was pretty upset saying I didnt trust her and I shouldn't care because they're just friends and wouldn't do anything. She made me feel like the bad guy and I kept wondering "am I really being irrational?" But I kept coming back the the thought- it just doesn't make sense for them to hang out alone at her place when they're not super close or anything. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
23n8BsPrY0F1XyAg3MB3SFZERsH4Hhxn | b18bt6 | {
"description": "sheltering a stray cat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for sheltering a stray cat? | I recently went from living alone to sharing a house with three other people. This week, a stray cat started wandering into the house. Two days ago it started to get bolder, going down to the ground floor. This tuesday night, I decided to go to the terrace and I found the cat huddled in the neighbor's roof. It allowed me to pick it up, and I brought him back to the ground floor and fed him.
I suspect it is a female in heat, due to the way it's acting (pacing around, headbutting my hands to be petted) and the fact that I heard a cat screaming like females usually do after coitus the night before. It also has a wound in the head, probably caused by a street fight. The wound spreads to the ear and seems to be dirty, with some spots still bloody. It also seemed to be really hungry.
The thing is, my housemate will have absolutely none of a cat inside the house. She doesn't like cats, think they are dirty and wanted me to put it back outside at once. I initially refused, at least till I could feed it. I've already contacted the NGO that helps stray animals in my city, and we are looking for a temporary home for the cat. I told her I could keep it locked in my room for the night, as it late at night when I've caught it, but she didn't agree. She said it would be better for the cat to be put back outside anyway, as cats prefer freedom to roam.
We compromised by shutting it in a small storage room we have, but this space has an open roof that leads to the second floor. When I woke up in the morning, it was gone, and I found him laying in another neighbour's roof. It stayed there during the day, where I couldn't reach it, and wouldn't come when offered food. In the afternoon, it jumped the neighbor's fence and disappeared for the next day, wich brings us to today.
I was in my room a few hours ago when I heard that scream again. I immediately went upstairs, where I saw the cat leaping back to the terrace. When I followed it, I saw it staring down a second cat, probably male. After some time, the second cat went away and the first moved to a spot where I could pick it up. It's now in my room. I've fed it again, cleaned his ears and applied a bactericide to the wound.
My roommate is not at home right now. She will probably spend the night away. I have no intention to keep the cat as a pet, nor to home him for a long time. I only want to keep her from running away again until I can found someone to shelter her, at least temporarily. When I moved in, the issue of bringing a cat to the house was never discussed, as it was not my intention to do so in any future moment. TBH I'm not a big cat fan, but I dont want to let this one run around with a wound that can get infected and a very real possibility of getting pregnant (my town has a pretty big stray problem). I would like to at least have her spayed before she goes back to the streets. But OTOH, I don't want to bother the other people in the house. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Hidhoj3hvHU6zGh1hy47u5P2oyIecGpn | asbmhx | {
"description": "not sharing any of our dad's money with my sister when he passes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I didn't share any of our dad's money with my sister when he passes? | On mobile, forgive spelling and grammar please.
Bit of background: My father is not a particularly good person. In fact if I were pressed I'd be forced to admit he's actually quite a bad one in many respects. His behaviors led to the termination of his relationship with my sister nearly fourteen years ago. I don't want to go into it, but she hasn't spoken to him since, and her reasons for doing so are good and I respect them.
Recently, he has been making preparations for his assets for his retirement and estate. As I still maintain a relationship with him, he has told me that I will be the listed beneficiary to essentially everything when he goes, and to "figure it out" with my sister when that happens.
My sister wants nothing to do with him anymore, and I'm virtually certain she will refuse anything offered. Would it be ethical to just keep everything if she doesn't accept it? At the moment it looks like when our parents pass we'll be splitting whatever our mother leaves us, but I'll be getting everything from him. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
z8Q2iswfstVD1Mt8Ko3PUfciUVatHecx | b02x6y | {
"description": "kicking a girl out of a group chat",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I kicked a girl out of a group chat? (All 20-22F) | I have a few friends from college and we are all in a group chat together and have been for about 2 years, about 6 months ago we met this girl, let’s call her Abby, and she was nice and we got along well so she ended up being added to the group chat.
Abby can sometimes be quite narcissistic and a little self centered, which most of the time is OK and none of us mind, however she has a tendency to send selfies and fish for compliments when we’re talking about something serious. We are also the only female friends that she has.
One example is a month ago another girl “Charlotte” had to put her dog down and was upset and wanted to let her feelings out on the chat as we were her only support system. Abby messages the chat saying “Oh no i’m sorry :(“ and disappears for about 20 minutes while we’re trying to help Charlotte feel better.
Abby is back online and sends some selfies to the group asking what we think, which we all agreed was a bit insensitive and I messaged Abby privately telling her that and she ignored the message, so I assumed she got the message.
This is becoming a regular occurrence and almost everyone in the group has told her that there’s a time and place but we have just been kind of brushing it off.
Last week one of my closest friends dad got diagnosed with cancer and messaged the group asking if we can come round to her place as she doesn’t like to be alone. We all agreed apart from Abby who wasn’t online. 45 minutes later she sends about 15 photos all at once to the chat asking to pick out which one would be the best for her instagram.
Charlotte messages me privately asking me to remove her, as the other girls are getting annoyed at her behaviour during serious times. When we’re all joking around Abby is funny and can be really fun to hang around with.
I don’t know wether it it’s because she doesn’t understand how to react in certain situations, or if it’s coping mechanism but it is starting to grate on us. I would feel bad cutting her off as we are basically her only female friends, but we have tried to tell her how to react and never called her out on it publicly or in front of one another.
Would it be a dick move?
Also sorry i’m on mobile I know I suck.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LK8EnvnzGi8KcVA0StCir6Sl9y0V0dmr | azfjxy | {
"description": "telling my co-worker to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my co-worker to shut up? | This guy has been getting on my nerves for months. He is the embodiment of what everyone paints a "millennial" to be.
For context I am 22 he is 20
He does fortnite dances when he sees you across the hall, when you wait for him to let you into the building he does fortnite dances. He is constantly watching tiktocks or playing Roblox. He will call your name and when you ask him what he needs he says things like "You look like an onion" He shows you memes of stupid stuff and when you don't laugh at them he will literally laugh at them for at least an hour. I'm not talking snickering, but full on loud as can be laughing. In our work environment he is the only co-worker on my shift and we are constantly next to each other in a small room.
So here I was sitting down when he hasn't done work all fucking night, he shows me some stupid cheese meme and proceeded to full belly laugh at it for 20 plus minutes. Finally I snap and tell him "Dude shut the fuck up and go do your patrol it's an hour before we get off. And it's obvious your not really laughing cause it sounds so forced". He called me an asshole and stormed out of the room. Was I the asshole in that situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Rdn0AQCPi9EoXugxdqbjFyndRNwY8aog | b0ho21 | {
"description": "my girlfriend being a bottlerat",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for my girlfriend being a bottlerat? | Last week was my (M26) girlfriend's (Tara) 21st birthday. My friends and her friends all took a trip to Atlantic City where we all paid general admission to have a good time for a DJ she was dying to see. We pregamed with enough alcohol in the parking lot and even some of my buddies I hadn't seen in a while were there.
Around halfway through the night, she was dancing with her friend (Meg). I saw a bouncer approach Tara and Meg and told them to go with him. I grabbed Tara and told her to come with me, not with him because I could see what was happening. It was loud, so we didn't converse but Tara gave me the "1 Second" finger and slipped past the VIP ropes and onto some guy's table where they handed her and Meg champagne glasses and she "cheers-ed" with them.
Tara came back probably within 5 minutes and Tara didn't drink the champagne but Meg stayed, so that's not my problem. My problem is after she left me to go with the bouncer, one of my buddies (who I hadn't seen a while) Jay, saw this happening and told me "Don't worry bro, she's probably just trying to get a free drink." but for this to happen in front of all of my friends is humiliating and I looked like an idiot in front of all of my friends. If my girlfriend wants a drink, I can happily pay for it; especially on her birthday.
Throughout the night she was taking snapchats with other guys (and girls) and not really paying much attention to the group she came with, but lingering around with other friends she bumped into and then rotating between our group and her other friends.
After this we went back to the car and talked/argued the rest of the night. I told her that her leaving to another guy's table was the cherry on top and she seemed more focused on others rather than how her actions were making me feel, but she says she was thinking about my feelings the entire time and thats why "she came back" after going with the bouncer and accepting the champagne.
Tara says she only went with the bouncer to another guy's table because she initially thought he was going to boot her and she was afraid of being kicked out, but I said then she should have just come with me and we could be kicked out together. (But I figured she wasn't getting kicked out in the first place) My best friend also agrees with me, and based on Jay's comment; I think he does too. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
LuoikMUz1mFKyOfWGP9qSN0rQHV5PFNo | aiv6u3 | {
"description": "telling a joke with my coach's mom as the punchline",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling a joke with my coach's mom as the punchline? | I play a slightly physical men's sport and our head coach asked if anyone had a joke to close out practice. I proudly announced I had a new favorite sex position and that it was all the rave right now. I asked if anyone had head of it, called the "WOW," and then said it's when you take assistant coaches mom and turn her upside down. Five minutes later the assistant coach walked straight up to me and told me to go fuck myself and stormed off. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not, so I started to go after him. He turned and followed up with, "Get the fuck away from me." It was pretty awkward, because everyone heard the whole thing.
For context, a couple months ago the assistant coach added me and a few other guys to a group chat and all we do is roast each other. So I chose him because I thought he could take a joke, but I guess I was wrong... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
wYYVGr5eQIM7F3rj8pL1R3hI5sMG8Emo | ayw7d4 | {
"description": "getting upset my long distance girlfriend did not invite me to celebrate her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset my long distance girlfriend did not invite me to celebrate her birthday? | So basically, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a relatively short time (5 mo.) and we have been long distance for about 3 of those months. We have a solid relationship, not in love yet, but really enjoy spending time with each other, sex is great, enjoy each other's company, and are very similar in many ways.
Recently I have been concerned about the amount of time we get to spend with each other. It's very difficult to develop a relationship with her in NY and myself in Michigan. Her birthday is in May and she is going to Florida to celebrate with her friends a week before her birthday. After asking what she was doing ON her bday in NY, she told me her friend is coming the day before her bday and staying with her the weekend. I made it apparent I was a bit peeved that she did not express she wanted me there for her birthday, something I thought was pretty normal for a budding relationship. She reassured me that she would be in our hometown a week after her birthday. I assumed from that she meant we would make time to celebrate then. She lives in a small, one room apartment so visiting her while her friends are staying with her is not an option. Should I feel upset that she did not invite me or express she'd like me there ON her actual birthday in NY? I guess I feel like she should want me there but is fine with spending time with her friends over me. I have expressed I would fly over whenever she has time, and I was assuming I'd get an invite because birthdays, in my mind, are a time you always spend with your significant other. Am I being too insecure and was I an asshole for getting upset? Should I let it go and be content with seeing her a week after? If I was in her shoes I would want her to fly to see me or I would want to fly to her and I suppose I feel that this is a red flag that she wants to spend time with her friends and really did not think about or address my feelings.
Thanks. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cllD31ELIhJ5dEHJ8lkPYsUntr7DCaH0 | b98sx5 | {
"description": "reporting my downstairs neighbors for smoking hella weed",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA If I reported my downstairs neighbors for smoking hella weed? | So yeah, sorry this won't be super juicy or interesting. The situation is pretty simple and straightforward.
My downstairs neighbors like to turn up. Now, I dont care about weed. I believe it should be legal, medically and recreationally. I've had many friends that partake in the devil's lettuce.
However, I live in a state where it is very much not legal. It's not even decriminalized. You can get in a lot of trouble out here for it.
Also, I live in an apartment. My apartment has checkups every so often by maintinance to check smoke detectors and air filters. I don't want to end up getting raided or something because a maintinance guy catches a whiff of the green stank that's finding it's way into our apartment.
Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe it doesnt matter. But just the other day, coming home from the store, I swear I could faintly smell weed in OUR ENTIRE APARTMENT. Maybe we have a connected HVAC or something, who knows. I know they do it on the balcony, and it woffs up to our apartment through our door.
Should I tell maintinance/landlord? Should I tell the authorities? Would I be putting someone in a lot of hot water over something trivial?
Tldr; The people living under us smoke a lot of weed, and it is making our apartment spell of said weed. WIBTA if I reported them to our complex or authorities? Should I just let it go? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
DqBsoCj5YLyQCDRUwypN6Ree1fVSir3a | b4dyhh | {
"description": "leaving a family members dog tied up outside their house alone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for leaving a family members dog tied up outside their house alone? | This morning my mom called me and asked me for coffee. It was a bit later then she normally starts work and she proceeded to tell me that she was dog sitting for my cousin (we will call her Kim) over night. Kim does not have a job and often gets my mom to dog sit for her for free. They agreed on the pick up time of 8 am. It was 9:45 and my mom needed to go to work but the dog isn't very well behaved and isn't allowed on her job site. Her roommate won't allow her to leave the dog there unattended. No word from my Kim. She reluctantly takes the dog to work with her knowing her boss would be unhappy but not force her to leave.
Lunchtime my mother calls me desperate for help as Kim isn't giving her straight answers about where she is and what she plans on doing with her dog. We go for lunch and try to get ahold of Kim before both going back to work.
I message Kim and she responds right away. She tells me she's at a friends house and she's getting a ride home right away. I tell her I need to drop off her dog right away and I can meet her anywhere she is or give her a ride home. She refuses and says she'll meet me there.
We wait at her house for 30 minutes without hearing from Kim. We need to head back to work so we tied up her dog outside her house and let her know that her dog is there alone. She replies immediately saying she's waiting for a ride and all kinds of mean things to me.
2 hours later Kim calls my mom crying saying her dog is gone and it's all our fault. More angry mean things said to my mother.
I feel like I gave Kim every opportunely to get her dog. We live in a small town it only take 15 minutes to drive across town.
AITA for leaving my cousins house alone tied up outside her house while she said she would be "right there" after waiting 30 minutes and being late returning to work. She gets very mad saying she is waiting for a ride but rejected getting a ride from me. 2 hours later she calls saying she's missing. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
ELeB4csvvxSSNATQfA0NJUa2Lv2v5tJ4 | ammnkv | {
"description": "not being in a rush to pay back my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for not being in a rush to pay back my roommate? | 3 friends and I move into an apartment. 1 friend (H) pays deposit, rest of months rent, current month's rent, and some household necessities. We all agree to pay back H. No requests on when repayment should occur are made at this point it's pretty much just "pay me back when you can, sooner is better than later". So as far as I know, H doesn't have an urgent need for repayment.
​
Then there's me: 18, working my first job, averaging about **25 hrs/week,** just received my 2nd paycheck (first was already spent on some essentials), currently looking for a 2nd job, having a cosigner, and having imminent student loan repayment in the coming months.
​
I obviously don't want to make my cosigner worry about me not being able to pay rent and mess up that trust, so I planned on saving this paycheck to ensure that I always have enough to pay my share of the next month's rent/utilities/etc. So I say my plan and it does not sit well with my other roommates apparently. One suggests I should pay at least half (when my paycheck is right about half how much I owe when I need to do other things like open a savings account.
I then bring up that my hours are soon going to be cut from the **25** to about **12 hrs/week** (you know, literally making half as much money) while I still don't have a 2nd job and that H will be paid when they will be paid and I'm trying to ensure some stability for myself so I don't have to worry about not having enough to cover my share and having to then owe either my roommates or my cosigner money for paying the rest for me.
Then H responds and says that she would like the remaining month rent and the necessities paid for at least and the current month's rent by my next paycheck (this is the first time I had heard any specific deadlines).
Keep in mind, nobody has ever had issues (maybe didn't vocalize, but I'm doubtful) with me repaying them. As well, while I'm fairly certain even with making half as much I'd still be able to cover my share of rent but I just wanted to be secure. And of course there's the fact that this is literally my first time managing my own paycheck and monthly expenses so I'm still hesitant about things and learning.
​
Am I the asshole for not wanting to start paying H by my most recent paycheck paycheck and delaying payment by at least a few weeks? It honestly just felt like my other roommates had a very "fuck how you feel, you need to pay" mentality. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
V3hIZx9C1rKOnur92WYnPsnx8gJkHq4M | aoy26s | {
"description": "asking my friend to stop talking about her GF",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked my friend to stop talking about her GF? | To make a long story short, a friend of mine has been seeing someone for the past year or so.
For context: I have known this woman for 5 years. We have an internet-based friendship. I have been speaking to her almost daily over that time.
For the past year, she's been talking about almost nothing but her girlfriend.
This wouldn't be an issue if their relationship was healthy. I'm fine with the "oh my girlfriend is so great and I love her look how proud I am!" type deal. In fact, it makes me happy to see my friends have finally found someone who will make them happy in turn!
But it's not.
The overwhelming majority of the time, she's talking about how she wants to kill herself because of the things her girlfriend is saying, or how she feels valueless because of something her girlfriend has said. Or sends me screen-shots of her girlfriend where she's intentionally gone out of her way to goad a reaction out of my friend. Or made her upset somehow, or manipulated her into doing something she didnt want to, or completely invalidated her feelings... A few times her girlfriend has upset my friend by trying to force us to stop talking because she's apparently jealous my friend RPs/spends time with me... You get the idea.
Quite a few of these topics fall close to personal triggers. She is aware of this. It still happens anyway.
A few days later, it's like she's forgotten the conversation entirely - and goes back to sending me screen shots of unrelated topics and conversations with her girl, often following the lines of (their) in jokes, or things they find funny.
It jumps back and forward between "My girlfriend upset me, look at this" or "I am upset because of something my girlfriend did" or "I want to f** die because of this: (screenshot)" to "lol (insert screenshot of in joke)" "(insert conversation about their two characters)" "(completely out of context screen-shots that have nothing to do with me or our conversations)" "(out of context sexual screenshot) would you believe me if i said this was about dragons lol"
On the rare occasion, she'll ask for my advice regarding her relationship. Then ignore all of it, and forget everything I said as well.
This has been going on ever since the start of their relationship. So.. About a year or so.
Would I be the asshole if I asked her to stop talking about her girlfriend, period?
And.. If not... How should I go about this?
TLDR: Friend is in a relationship. Relationship is dangerously emotionally and mentally abusive. Friend jumps between venting about how bad the relationship is, and how much she wants to die because of it, to sending screenshots about their in-jokes and unrelated conversation.
Would I be the asshole if I requested she stop bringing her girlfriend up - good AND bad - all together? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QLFFaUyr1Bcs9WvsdX7rp1sgn7wkSnG5 | a5g1ar | {
"description": "not wanting for anything to do with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting for anything to do with my dad? | So some back story. My family is Indian....... So i'm sure most brown people will get when i say that child abuse plays a role in our childhood. My sister and I (male) both endured abuse growing up by my father. A lot of the beating happened because of bi polar reasoning's of my dad, my dad not happy with B+'s in advanced math classes, and just anything that made him angry. Even my mother has suffered abuse (MOSTLY verbal, emotional) from him and we've BOTH witnessed it. He's not willing to accept his wrong either, when we got older I called him out on it and basically told me that i need to stop complaining about it and that its a normal thing in life, "get over it".
So i was talking to my older sister today (lets call her Nura) after i came back from college and was complaining to her about how much i hated coming home during the break because then i'd have to interact with our dad. I'm just saying things like "idc what he wants, im gonna do whatever i want to do. I just want him to leave me alone or just accept I wont be like how we wants me too". After hearing this Nura starts getting annoyed and says im too "entitled" and tells me off for wanting to much.
So AITA for not wanting to do anything with an abusive father who refuses to change? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JtX51v94cFlEARY1A5UTpo0gVxzwniL6 | b68nv7 | {
"description": "telling my bf he needs to lose weight or I'll break up with him",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my bf he needs to lose weight or I’ll break up with him? | So a bit of background. We are both long-haul truck drivers and we share a truck. We are both male. I’m 31 and he’s 33.
When we started dating about 6 years ago, he was 185 lbs. A year ago he hit 300 and he is well on his way to 350. He eats nothing but chips and fast food and refuses to go with me to the gym. He now has trouble getting in and out of the truck. Besides the health issues, I’m not attracted to him anymore. I’ve been telling him for a while that this needs to change and he keeps saying he will start a diet tomorrow or next week or when we pick up the next load, but it never happens and there is another bag of chips and a 2 liter in his hand. I’m worried that he will get disqualified medically from driving for his high blood pressure.
I always have fresh fruit and vegetables in the truck and thing like lean cold cuts but he just keeps getting junk food. On top of this, he spends almost $100 per week on fast food when we are supposed to be saving to buy a house.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
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} | RIGHT |
j3RwNZnJQFwn85BRKfEAxFzVcMhqcUWa | a7ojre | {
"description": "wearing headphones around talkative coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wearing headphones around talkative coworkers | I started a job at a catering company as Catering Supervisor 5 years ago and I was given an assistant to help do setups. I quickly discovered my new assistant never stopped talking. We would work 6-8 hours doing these setups in a ballroom by ourselves and she would go on long rants about the most mundane things. At first I tried talking to her like any normal human being but I soon found the conversations with her to be uninteresting, boring, lame, etc. Worst of all, most of the time when she talks, she stops working. She just stands there rambling using her hands to emphasize what she’s saying. I’ve said to her in the past, “Hey I don’t mind talking but let’s keep moving while we talk.” That lasted maybe a day before she went right back into doing it.
She also seems to miss social cues when people try to tell her they’re not interested in what she’s saying.
For example: one time we were sitting down for lunch and she starts telling me and my boss about some vampire anime she discovered. After about 10 minutes of explaining the show, my boss very politely said “Yeah that’s not really my kind of show. I’m not really into vampires or anime.” Instead of changing subjects or moving on, she continues to explain the show for the entire 30 minute lunch break. Me and my boss would try to change subjects and she would loop it back around to her vampire anime.
Soon after, my company hired two of her friends. When we would do setups, the three of them collectively would just rant about whatever! I don’t think I’m an asshole boss but I had to get on to them several times. “Girls, you’ve been talking for almost 10 minutes and you’ve done nothing. I don’t want to be here all day. Please, move faster.”
I finally went to my boss and pleaded, “I don’t think _______ is right for this job. She never stops talking. She stops working when she’s talking most of the time. Her friends are just as bad. Can you please say something to her?” And my boss basically said “Well, we need the help. Just ignore them.” It’s hard to ignore someone you’re stuck in a room with for 8 hours who never shuts up.
I don’t know if you know someone like this but it’s so obnoxious. I use to pretend to go to the bathroom just so I could cut off her train of thought. Or just leave the room in general to stop hearing her voice. I would come home every day annoyed and not wanting to speak to anybody because I felt I got ear-raped every day at work.
Finally, I came up with the idea to just wear headphones. I would wear headphones during setups and she would yell my name or tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. As soon as I answered her question, I put the ear bud right back in and went right back to what I was doing, I could see the look of defeat on her face when I wouldn’t engage her in conversation. We would be in the middle of working and she would tap me on the shoulder and start telling one of her pointless stories. I would cut her off and say “I’m sorry I really wanna hear this podcast. I’ve been waiting all day to hear it.” Things got done quicker, every hour was way more productive and I became less annoyed at work.
Now, fast forward to today and we have three women at work (my assistant included) who do this exact same thing. I’m not trying to be sexist but no male that I work with excessively talks. One girl, we’ll call her AAA, tells these long drawn out stories and she’s very loud and boisterous when she tells them. It’s a little obnoxious. She’s a cool, nice lady but once she gets going there’s no telling when her story will stop. You’ll be leaving a room with your hand on the doorknob and she just keeps going and going.
This other girl, BBB, is a bit weird and will also never stop talking. We will sit down and eat lunch and she’ll come over to where I’m at and talk the entire lunch period and never touch her food. And her subject matter is always a little weird when she’s not talking about her cats. She interrupts people ALL. THE. TIME. You could be like, “My car had a flat tire the oth-“ “SPEAKING OF CARS...”
Again, she misses social cues and doesn’t know how to read the room. People have been straight-up rude to her to let her know to be quiet and it seems to go right over her head. She’ll even follow me around during caterings (when I can’t wear headphones) just rambling about whatever.
It’s so bad that one time my assistant and BBB were locked into a conversation with each other and me and some coworkers were making bets about who would walk away first.
So now, whenever I work with any of these three coworkers, I put on headphones and completely ignore them. I will go so far as to not even make eye contact because if I do, they will try to engage in conversation. I feel this is better than me finally snapping on them and saying something like “YOUR STORIES ARE BORING, LAME, NEVER-ENDING AND NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM! PLEASE STOP TALKING AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!” I don’t even give them a chance to speak to me.
TL;DR I work with three women who talk way too excessively so I wear headphones around them snd ignore them so work gets done faster. | HISTORICAL | {
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sujt8JOR4vt23nEIC5rKWL8ghjvLDo5w | b6aygl | {
"description": "matching with girl then unmatching after realizing she has kids",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for matching with girl then unmatching after realizing she has kids? | So two nights ago I matched with a girl who seemed pretty cute. We sent maybe three to four messages in total but they were pretty deep from the outset since she opened with a question about what I liked about my personality. Overall I could tell she was pretty smart and part of me wanted to end up trying to see where things but part of me was also hesitant. I was hesitant because I apparently hadn't realized that she had kids when I originally came across her profile. At this point in my life (I'm 27/M) I don't think I'd be ready to have kids or take on the responsibility of dating someone who has kids. I was considering the possibility of trying it out until I came to the conclusion that since I'm not too sure about it, I probably shouldn't go for it since I would be entering a dynamic that might cause more harm than good. As for why I matched with her, some days I'm in the bad habit of just swiping off the first picture or so and then other times I actually take the time to read all the way through a profile. I know this is a bad habit and after this I don't think I'll ever do it again. Anyways, AITA for just straight up unmatching her yesterday morning without telling her my reasoning? We had only sent in total like 4-5 messages each but I feel like a jerk for not saying why we unmatched. Maybe I'm over thinking things but part of me wants to message her on facebook and apologize since I know how it feels to match with someone and then get unmatched. But also I don't know if telling someone "hey I'm sorry I matched with you, but the reason I did was because I don't think I'm ready for kids" especially after I've already done the deed would be a good idea either. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
I78Ux8uSfqK3sB7d8QlGzPwpsJ4r2HiF | b9ugby | {
"description": "reporting some strange behaviour to the manager but I've been second guessing my decision to do so ever since",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA I reported some strange behaviour to the manager but I've been second guessing my decision to do so ever since. | I know it's perhaps unreasonable to even scrutinise myself this much because in the moment it was a clear "strange behaviour, so report it" kind of case. I guess I'm just here for reaffirmation that, perhaps, you would have made the same choice in this situation. Or confirmation of what I have been thinking, that perhaps I was out of order.
I walked into a KFC with the only intention being to use the restroom. I get into the restroom and it only has 2 urinals and 1 toilet stall, and the toilet stall is occupied. I had a lot of bags so I wanted to go for the stall since then I could put it down more comfortably, and out of the way. The toilet stall door was open and with the way I was stood, I could see the reflection of the man standing in front of the toilet on the tiles, he couldn't see me but he must've been aware of my presence.
Anyway, I don't peek and just kind of space out for a second while I wait, and it's getting to be quite a while now so I start to pay attention. Then I noticed the quieted grunting, the jingle of a belt rattling quickly, and I see his reflection and I see his arm vibrate. At this point I think this guy is rubbing one out and get out of there and report it to the manager. But ever since I've been thinking, what if this poor guy has an STD and literally has to squeeze the piss out like a tube of toothpaste? What if he was just slow in the head or had a tick? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
mgJsU1MTOxoC8qEID0gcuHh4oi553Gyy | a70q1n | {
"description": "not accepting hours at my new job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not accepting hours at my new job | I just got a new job at a store. I have as of this moment only worked two days where I only managed the unpacking of new products and never got to stand at the register. I got a call today and was offered to work an evening completely by myself and I was also offered to receive training this entire week to manage the register and the store. I declined and specified I was quite busy with school stuff this week, but in truth I don't think one week of training would be enough. I have worked at a store before but this one is so incredibly different and involves much more stress and areas to cover, and I don't think I am able learn everything in the span of a week. I was afraid telling the truth wouldn't have mattered and my boss would have convinced me to do it anyway.
​
My boss told me they would have a hard time replacing the shifts this week and the evening where I would work alone. Am I the asshole for declining this offer and possibly causing them loads of trouble just because I'm not willing to take this risk? If I'm going to manage the store by myself I want more training than one week, still I feel like an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
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6dxwy3c3fR84oo002SVUraj7Ry6q5rI9 | a8zyur | {
"description": "refusing to continue transporting my Aunt after a car accident",
"pronormative_score": 43,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for refusing to continue transporting my Aunt after a car accident? | Hello people of reddit, first time poster, recent reader and a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!
So I'll try (and most likely fail) to keep this short and sweet. Every year, my family travel out to my Uncle's house a couple of days before Christmas to get together and celebrate in our own way, so we can spend time with our partners, wives, husbands, children etc
Now for most of us its about a 2 hour, 130km (85 miles for those in the U.S) drive. This year I was tasked with being my Aunt to the party. Now unfortunately she is the WORST backseat driver because if you go over walking speed, she freaks out and starts screaming and yelling at you to slow down.
For the record, shes perfectly able to drive herself, but doesnt like to drive anywhere she doesnt know
Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to this as it would turn a 2 hour drive into a 3 hour drive.
So I pick her up, and drive slowly, and save one or two complaints about the weather, its actually a very nice trip, until we get to the motorway/highway.........now in my country, there is a minimum speed limit on the motorway of about 50kph/30mph, this is a legal requirement and you can get stopped by the Police for going under it.
So we get on the motorway and she immediately starts freaking out. Shaking, asking me to slow down, blessing herself, screaming when a car goes past etc.
So to try and keep her happy, I slow down to about 50kph and talk to her, explain that this is as slow as I can go but that shes safe and that we're going to get there safe and sound.
Unfortunately this does nothing and she keeps ordering me to slow down, slow down, SLOW DOWN!! Even slapping me on my arm. At this point, I warned her to keep her hands to herself and just kept driving.
We continue on for a few more minutes and she keeps telling me to pull over, which you can't do on a motorway outside of an emergency, I ask why and she wont give a reason, so I keep on driving, at which point she grabs the steering wheel and pulls it causing me to cut across a lane of traffic and grind against a guard rail, which also tears off my wing mirror.
By some minor miracle I dont crash and get back in control before coming to a stop, but not before having to physically restrain her to keep her hands off the steering wheel.
At this stage, I dont feel safe with her in the car so I pull off the motorway into a service station and kick her out of the car along with her suitcase, after taking photos of some of the damage to the car itself. And off to the party I go, despite her very vocal objections.
Now most of the family are angry at me for leaving her all on her own at the service station, and she has been trying to get me to cover the taxi and hotel fare she had to pay to stay at a local hotel.
So Reddit, I ask for your Judgment, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 43,
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} | RIGHT |
wUzd3s15RCMjIgqAWQi1BYyH9ZML7Chd | arxpbm | {
"description": "continuing to drive the speed limit while 2 other cars had a fight",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for continuing to drive the speed limit while 2 other cars had a fight? | I was caught in the middle of a very uncomfortable road rage incident this morning on a two-lane expressway.
I was in the right lane going the speed limit, listening to music and maintaining my speed. I know I’m not a fast driver so I always stay in the right lane to let people pass me or let cars merge onto the expressway without difficulty. It's morning. We're all likely commuting. I just want this to be easy for everyone.
A pick up truck (I’ll call this PUT) pulled up next to me in the left lane and started matching my speed.
At first I thought PUT was trying to pass me, but when I slowed down or sped up, PUT matched my pace and stayed completely adjacent to me. So I just kept my eyes forward on the road and maintained the speed limit, not looking at this driver who is now making a huge line of traffic behind both of us. (For what it’s worth: I’m female and have been in situations before where a male driver pulls up next to me and tries to get me to look at him. I’ve learned from experience that it’s best not to look, because I really don’t want to see whatever it is that he or his buddy is trying to show me.) PUT could pass me if he wanted. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the truck was really beat up so I thought maybe it was having engine problems.
I turned off the music so I could better hear PUT’s engine. That's when I realized that the whining hum sound I thought was being made by PUT was actually the car behind PUT honking obnoxiously. Just one long, whiny honk. So I guess PUT was in the left lane matching my speed to create a blockade to punish the car for tailgating or beeping or something and now it had escalated so this car was furious. I dunno.
Thankfully I get to my exit and steer off out of this mess. The car speeds into a left turning lane so he can get past PUT, beeping at PUT the whole time (I could watch this now, because I was at a stop sign.)
Car gets in front of PUT and slams to a halt.
PUT has to hit the brakes too. Like I said, PUT is not in decent shape. There’s no guarantee that PUT would have been able to stop so quickly.
The car speeds up abruptly and slams the brakes again. I’m watching this all because if these idiots crash into each other someone is going to need to call an ambulance.
I had to drive away at this point, so hopefully they didn’t crash.
So, I believe that both of these drivers are assholes for creating a dangerous situation. My question here though, is: Am I also an asshole? Should I have sped up to try to get away from these two? I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel bad for all the people stuck behind my dinky little car tooting along at 55 and these two dildos having a speed war at 7 AM. What would you have done in my situation?
Thanks in advance. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 11,
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oT6YCq7V4a38TqfRcFD0q1myQ4NSyBZO | ai4pmc | null | AITA in this fight with my dad | I'll try to keep it brief. New Year's I had my family over and my small 1br apt got trashed. I deep cleaned my entire place. Following weekend my dad came over, made himself food, did his version of "cleaning up" which involved leaving trash in my kitchen sink. I don't remember verbatim what I said but I know that I expressed my annoyance because he has done this before. I probably wasn't super sweet about it and we probably needed some space at that moment but I was frustrated and his response was " then you can watch the playoffs without me" (both football fans) and I said "sounds good" and he left.
Fast forward 3 weeks and he seems me this.
>Dear NorthWoods16,
>It was hard to reach out first and initiate an attempt to reconnect with you. It was something I agonized over for several days.
>I did it because you are important to me and because you need me. I knew you were emotionally stuck and unable to reach out.
>I love you and want to help you.
>I am/was deeply offended by the degree of disrespect you dumped on me and your outrageous inability to appreciate all I had done to serve you and go off on me over a single plastic sandwich bag in the sink.
>That should matter to you. It should matter how you hurt me.
>It was a total loss of all perspective and a total loss of relationship value -- something you have claimed to care about over and over again.
>Truth is you are your own worst enemy; sabotaging relationship connection over stupid shit.
>You owe me an apology; nevertheless, I have chosen to forgive you anyway.
>Going forward I draw the line at disrespect. You decide what is most important to you.
>I will be over sometime between 4 and 4:30 to take you to the grocery store (I don't have a car). Where are we going after that to watch the game?
>Love,
~~Dad.
I do not feel that I went "off on him". I honestly feel like i'm living in bizarro world from which he comes from a reality in which I berated him or something.
I first responded with what I've already said up to this point trying to explain my perspective and then
>Like I said i'm over it. It's clearly not worth a relationship by any means but I feel confident in my argument and feel confident most people would see it that way too. I'm sorry I wasn't softer about it and the needing space thing contributed to that but that's exactly where I was coming from and that's honest
He responds
>Fact of the matter is I did make and serve you food you ate.
Disappointed your pride/ego is still so self-protecting.
I didn't eat any food he made. Trivial but true
I respond
>I'm not self protecting dad. What's ego driven is demanding an apology for something so petty. I'm over it and I don't expect you to completely validate 100% my side of such a trivial fight we had and you should do me the same courtesy I want to reiterate that I am very grateful and aware of all you do for me and i'm sorry if you feel like I haven't communicated that enough to you. Although saying "you need me " in your email sounds a little underhanded. So thank you. Id like to move past this.
It's so stupid I know but he's holding our relationship hostage because, from my perspective, he feels like I "totally disrespected him" by wanting him to not leave trash in my sink.
I know there's a lot that goes into familial squabbling such as history and context and tone and all that would be too difficult to relay online but at face value, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Q2lC9rMyoLmsaewsyDma3xqW9fgQRFrI | 9zf5iu | {
"description": "not letting my daughter hang out with her cousin",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for not letting my daughter hang out with her cousin? | (repost because of prior word choice and request to change it.)
My wife's sister has a daughter who is 5 and developmently challenged. I'm not sure what it is that is holding her development back. She wears a diaper, she doesn't talk often and when she does she screams until she gets what she wants.
The problem isn't so much that she is or isn't, the problem is that my daughter who is 3 is so much more advanced than her that people often think my daughter is older. She is potty trained, she gets her own food, brushes her teeth, takes her own baths, she is very self sufficient.
Every time she hangs out with her cousin, she regresses hard. She cries for her water bottle that is 5 feet away, she says she wants to be in diapers again, she won't feed herself.
I hate it. She loves her cousin but I'm sick of her holding my daughter back. It's not my fault sge can't figure out how to not shit herself when watching TV. Her parents refuse to do anything to better the situation or correct her. At this point I find it more detrimental to allow my daughter to continue being around her than benefit.
My niece doesn't hurt anyone on purpose but she does have bouts of rage and if she does hurt someone she thinks it's funny. This has lead to my daughter hurting my youngest with excuse "I was just trying to be funny."
At this point I think it's more detrimental to my daughter to be around her cousin than a benefit.
So. Am I the asshole for not wanting my daughter to hang out with her cousin? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 32,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 13
} | RIGHT |
QOI8ekZjRfmaBsRXYnN7uU4jFsbaRbTl | afhvoj | {
"description": "dumping my gf after she dumped me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for dumping my gf after she dumped me | So, someone told her that I was talking bad about her behind her back, which I haven't. She then dumped me over sms, because "I wasn't loyal".
I was really confused, because the next day she came to my place because she wanted to come back together.
I then told her that I didn't want her in my life anymore, and to fuck off.
She also told me, while we were in the relationship, that when we first came together, she didn't even like me. She just did it
because she didn't want me to get sad.
So, who's the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ZcUeg4qGgiPi1mV162JGHtHTfDhruyw5 | amn8g7 | {
"description": "calling the police on my friend when she was cutting herself",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for calling the police on my friend when she was cutting herself? | A little backstory; this girl (we'll call her Amanda) and I used to date (a whole different story), we ending things, and after a month of mutual silent treatment, began to talk again. We both had emotional troubles, and we would help each other through them as they came up, but a few months before the story takes place she began to constantly prioritize her problems over mine, and her depression got worse, and I begin to get tired (literally) of staying up until 2am listening o her rant about how no one cares about her.
On to the story.
It was early April of 2018, and Amanda had been talking a lot about suicide for the last month. None of it was serious, just "oh my math homework makes me want to jump off a bridge" type of thing. I knew she was depressed but didn't see these red flags. Then, on the sixth, we get to talking like we do most nights and it eventually comes out that she had been cutting herself. It wasn't life threatening, just a scratch with a safety pin, but I was understandably concerned. Not only had she not told me when she had done it, but she was playing it off like no big deal. I didn't know if this was the first time, but I didn't think so. I told her that I would call the police or an ambulance if she didn't tell me immediately the next time she felt like cutting (seems harsh, I know).
A few days go by, a mutual friend and I talk with her nightly and six days later (on the 12th), she sends me a picture she drew of a bear that had red lines on the arms and legs (I think it was a bear, it's hard to tell). At the time I was exhausted, and fed up with helping her. She had been making me nervous the whole week with scant replies and unread messages, and when I glanced at the photo, I didn't see the now obvious cut marks. I ignored it and went about my business. Then she sent an improved version. I'm already in bed at that point as it was 9:30 (I know; that's early, but I was tired and I had school the next day), and I was dozing off, when 20min later I got a text from our mutual friend who is freaking out as well.
Amanda cut again.
I responded to Amanda, asking how she was. She lied and said she was "great". I wasn't having this. I asked again. She says she's "just fine". I know she's lying. I engage in a quick exchange where she claims I should've seen the picture and known what it meant, but I'm fed up. It was only a few scratches with a safety pin, but I had promised, and her family needed to know (they already might have, and I made an educated guess that they would be supportive). I went out to my living room, and texted Amanda and our mutual friend the whole time (our mutual friend also suffers from depression and was feeling pretty crappy about letting this happen). I told my parents, researched Amanda's house address, and called the RCMP. The operator was understanding that it wasn't necessarily a life threatening emergency situation, but I stayed up talking to Amanda until 10:30pm exactly when Amanda sends:
"\*insert my name\*...what did you do?".
The officer didn't stay long, but Amanda was livid. If a mean name exists, I was called it after that incident. She still hasn't forgiven me, and we still, when we speak at all, get into heated debates about what I should have done.
​
TL;DR, AITA for calling the police on friend who lied to me about her self harm, and risking us both of us getting in potential legal trouble? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3Yrt9KxAolL6SEwVIHUS8Wf4YEP3xKo2 | aq1c2a | {
"description": "thinking my boyfriend might be kind of racist",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking my boyfriend might be kind of racist? | This comes from me trying to be as absolutely open-minded as I can... while also not really being able to get over this negative feeling that I've developed for a person I care about, even though it might be irrational. So here I am for outside judgement on my/his behavior.
I've been dating this person for a short while now, less than a month. Obviously I like him quite a bit, and in most aspects he's kind and considerate. The hitch is that it's fairly obvious to me that he has what some might call a "fetish" for women of my race. He himself has admitted that he prefers dating this type of woman, and all of his past partners have been of the same race. Also (and I think this is what really tipped the scales for me) he enjoys including racially stereotypic language into our sex life... what you might call racist dirty talk ("race play" is the proper term). I'm totally kink-positive and open to indulging him there, but I also suspect that this is indicative of (at least somewhat) genuine feelings he has about my race. At the very least, it doesn't seem to square super well with his respecting me as a person.
My feeling is that he has some unhealthy views about race, and I have told him as much. Of course he denies dating me *only* because of my race (and that there's nothing wrong with liking a certain look), and also that being into race play is not indicative of sincere prejudice. I'm sympathetic to that, really. But I don't want my affection for him to sort of gloss over what could be a very real problem.
I apologize if that all sounds very confusing! But AITA for calling him out in this way? | HISTORICAL | {
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"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nAULbwg5eIk4adPcVHciTizloXk8fkmx | 9xfw0u | {
"description": "asking for a gift back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking for a gift back? | I was dating this girl for about 4 months before I went on a month-long solo trip to Europe, something I'd never done before. We weren't exclusive at both of our agreement, but were heading to serious territory. She proposed that if I messed around with anyone overseas, she doesn't care as long as she doesn't know about it, which was fine by me and I asked her to do the same. We talked constantly through the whole trip and it felt like the distance really did bring us closer together. I brought her back a gift from one of the countries I visited (and wasn't cheap at all) which was both a memento from my trip and a kind of token that I was ready to take things to the next step.
I get back and she can't wait to see me. She loves the gift and says she'll have it with her forever. The next week we're attached at the hip - going on dates, lots of sex, cuddling, and all the good stuff. Then, out of nowhere she ghosts me. A a couple weeks later she finally gets back to me saying that she doesn't want to date anymore. Her reasoning was, IMO, bullshit for various reasons especially with how out of the blue it was. If she was lying and had met someone else, I earnestly don't care. We weren't exclusive so I understand. However, when it was clear that we were done, I asked her for the gift back since it does mean a lot to me and I only gave it to her for hopes that things would be more long term. Now, I'm not one to do something like that - a gift is a gift - but given I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to visit those countries again and I was home for barely a week before the ghosting, I felt justified in this case. She told me off like I was being a psycho and completely cut me off.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
sUtAXioSu64no5HOWXWPD8gzSYPMLUpy | amqbua | null | AITA Mother in law is mad at me but won't talk to me about it | Hi everyone! Last night my mother in law had my 3 month old son at hers for a sleepover. She messaged me saying "hi there's no panadol in his baby bag he needs some for his gums he's been dribbling a lot, is (my partner) home?". I replied with "if he isn't in pain he doesn't need panadol". She didn't mention anything about him being in pain, only that he was dribbling and that isn't a reason to give him medicine. When she brought him home today she blatantly ignored me, didn't say a single word. She said goodbye to her son (my partner) and walked out. My partner followed and asked what was wrong and she replied with "i'm pissed off because he was screaming but I was told (by me) that I couldn't give him panadol.
She NEVER said he was in pain. She never told me that he was screaming. Only that he was dribbling. She came into MY home, cold shouldered me and then bitched to my partner outside about her issue with me. Did I take her message the wrong way or did she send too vague of a description of his actual pain level?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
DyMyQ0zqRemN9h1Re6nYjGhhnZI7rQ3K | ba85je | {
"description": "asking my professor when the exam date is",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For asking my professor when the exam date is? | [Screencaps](https://imgur.com/a/dJUZdd3)
A guy asked in class last week when our second exam would be (should be coming up either this next week or the week after) and the professor said a date, then said look on the sakai page (class website) for the announcement. I looked (and double checked) at each announcement posted and there is no mention of the second exam, so I emailed him asking for the date. The screencaps linked above say the rest. I get that towards the end I got short with him, but ***christ*** how many times can I ask a simple question, get blown off, and keep composed... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
JuuzkrWzalmq8aiVmZUm0H3oZXikjQxR | awm2yv | {
"description": "not wanting to compliment my husband's weightloss",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for not wanting to compliment my husband's weightloss? | This is probably going to be a no brainer for you guys, cus I sure feel like a piece of shit.
So my husband is overweight and has tried going on diets and exercise programs multiple times, and it seems like every time I'd compliment him on weight loss, he'd gain it right back.
Last week, he said he was going on another diet and the other day, texted me that he lost 3 lbs and showed a picture of the scale. My husband has this pattern of relaxing on things whenever I give him positive reinforcement, we'll get to that later, and so instead of complimenting him, reminded him about the factor of floating weight. He did not respond to it until this evening when he stepped on the scale with his clothes on and said that the reason he gained some weight was because he usually weighs it when he's nude, and then again I responded that floating weight is a thing. He then got incredibly upset and said that he needs encouragement from me, and not negative feedback, otherwise he'll feel like he's not making any progress. I tried apologizing and explaining that it wasn't negative, and that he seems to have a pattern of gaining the weight back whenever I compliment him, and said that I felt that the best thing to do would to be to not compliment and remain neutral.
He then blamed it on other factors; like the time I got kicked out of Planet Fitness was what made him stop exercising and made him gain the weight back (then afterward said "I'm not blaming you for that" as if that would make it feel like I'm not being blamed for getting kicked out.)
I then tried apologizing again, and tried giving another example of how me giving positive reinforcement doesn't work for him, as he does not do his chores or help clean the house on his own, as he needs me to tell him to and then compliment his work when he is finished. He then responded "Oh so we're making this about that now?"
Frustrated, I left the room, saying that he's not entitled to my emotional labor. I feel horrible for brushing him off like that, but I really don't know what else I should do. Am I the asshole? Should I keep giving him positive encouragement and just keep coddling him in the hopes that he'll improve? Or should I just not talk to him about any of this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
PjvT1NFTw7oh1kJvOrO7CwKah8tLACVE | b2ib6c | {
"description": "not helping and not talking to my classmates",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not helping and not talking to my classmates. | So I live in Belgium and my family is not Belgian.
I go to one of the best high schools in Belgium and I study a difficult direction with very intelligent classmates except they are very very childish for 15 year Olds. Today I was just going to my class when a classmate pushed me and told me that he gets to pass first because he's from Belgium. I ve been getting racist remarks all year for example hey 'op' we want our airport back and we want the towers back.
Yesterday was my birthday and it went bad nobody showed from my family so I was alone with just my parents so I was already mad and this just pushed it. Therefor I don't want to talk to them. And since I'm not from Belgium I'm good at languages like French and better at English than most well we had those classes today and usually I make their assignments (I don't know why) but today I was to triggered to make it. AITA or not? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Iar4cBw1NO0wPymj4ouzNKAMCtJIcPjo | b1w49g | {
"description": "not letting people in my room",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting people in my room | For some context I work at an university where I live with students and I am supposed to talk with them when needed to help etc. Most others in my job do this In their bed room.
I have my room and it is very me all pink and sweet and happy with cute thing. However I don’t like others in my room because they often judge me for it and because I like to have my safe space be my own.
When students want to meet I always offer the meeting room or their place.
Most are fine with this no question asked. I had a new student move in my house and she wanted to meet. I said sure when and I’ll book us the meeting room. She said no I’ll just drop by your place when I’m free.
I tried to explain to her that I don’t really let others in my room. She said fine what ever and we made a time.
A week later she knocks on my door and asks to talk. Again I say ok let’s go to the meeting room. She says no going in my room. I ask her to leave and she says it my job to see her when she needs me and for me to be available whenever wherever.
She’s not wrong. I give them my email, Facebook message info, phone number and whatsup info but my room is the one thing I don’t.
Most people do in my job and I’m the only one not letting students in.
So again I ask AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1WLSP7roKuFLdjlWWsYB7CDE2ss649GO | 9xumrp | {
"description": "not wanting my boyfriends cousin to tag along to my family holiday celebration",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my boyfriends cousin to tag along to my family holiday celebration? | Some background for context: My long time boyfriend and I recently celebrated a move and have been loving it. We even have some extra space, which admittedly we haven’t found a use for yet. Now don’t get me wrong, one of the things I love about him is that he’s very kind hearted, which can lend itself to being easily taken advantage of. I’m also a kind hearted person but I refuse to be taken advantage of. One thing we have disagreed with a lot is that his younger cousin (20F) has been seeing a guy off and on for around 2 years. The relationship has always been pretty messy in my opinion, but I keep that to myself as it’s easier to not rock the boat. As they are very off and on, when they break up it lasts anywhere from a few hours to a few days tops. When they break up she usually comes running to her cousin aka my boyfriend to rescue her and give her a place to live/pick her up. Every time it happens, it seems like I’m the one that has to sacrifice and cater to the situation by giving up my work time, my educational time, missing events, etc. It has happened multiple times where she will come to him with a sad story and then he recruits me to fix it all and by the time I make the hour drive there, she either doesn’t answer the door or totally ignores me, wasting my time. I have been so frustrated that it’s beginning to wear on me.
This brings me to the most recent situation yesterday: her “boyfriend” breaks up with her for the 10th time this week. She now has “nowhere to go” (not true, she has a mom and dad that would take her in). My boyfriend then goes out of his way to get her a bed/furniture/etc and gives her the extra space that was to be used for a nursery (we have custody of his son on weekends, not all the time). He invited her to not only live in our spare bedroom without even asking me but now he’s really spending all kinds of money on it that could really be used for better things.
Now I know they don’t have the closest of family, but he put me on the spot today in front of her asking if she could come to my family’s thanksgiving celebration. I wanted to not be rude so I said that i would have to ask and make sure it’s ok so we could discuss privately how I would rather it just be family there, as badly as I feel for her I just don’t see why she can’t spend it with her own mom or dad instead of with my family.
AITA for not wanting her to tag along for the holiday with my family and preferring she find some other arrangements as I’m more than confident that’s possible? I feel like I’ve already made some heavy sacrifices (ones I knew asked for )
Sorry if this doesn’t make senses 🤷♀️ may make some typos so bear with me!
Nicole
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
aJoJzyFdKTOvnZjgI0WixIQ3BIwRAPuu | b61oj2 | {
"description": "ending things because I did not want to be her forever friend with benefits",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ending things because I did not want to be her forever friend with benefits? | Dated this girl for 9 months, then she broke it off with me. We stayed friends with benefits for 3 years after this, and she became very dependent on me, regretting her decision though we never made another commitment. After 3 years of just messing around with each other, I wanted to move on with my life and just cut all ties.
She didn't want this, she still wanted friendship with me (and made no intention to stop aiming for physical pleasure together). I started to ghost her, and then she showed up to my apartment, pulls back her sleeves and dramatically reveals her cut up arms (she started cutting for the first time). She tells me if I care about her, I won't abandon her. Yes, we were really good friends on top of the benefits, but I didn't want to be her friend anymore either. I just dropped her. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
WlqPD6Dls1Wced78E5yvEC2sBnLxY8y4 | aln3d5 | {
"description": "getting mad at my friend for asking me to be his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at my friend for asking me to be his girlfriend? | I dont want to want to waste too much time with back story. So basically I've known this guy (lets call andre) for about a year. Durring that time he has asked me out in one form or another 3 times. Now our friendship is far from perfect just about every other month we get into an argument and we dont talk for a few weeks. Becasue of this I dont really like him, as a friend or as a potential boyfriend. Hes close freinds with all of my other friends so it's hard for me to just never talk to him or see him again. Another unrelated bit, andre was telling me about some girl in his art class who he had a crush on so I assumed he was over me.
Now for the story. So I was on the phone with andre talking about how my ex had just broken up with me and I'm kinda sad about it but we were better as friends anyway. Then I look at and see I got DM from him that says knock knock . At this point I'm confused why is he DMed me while we were talking so I asked him why he couldn't just talk to me. He says just respond I want to tell you a joke. So I complied said who's there and he texts doya I say doya who and he says do you want to go out with me.
I thought he was joking so I just said no. If i knew he was serious i would have told him no in a nicer way. When I found out he was serious I was very upset. I got dumped the day prior and I've told this guy I dont want to date him for the 4th time now. After I go on my little "are you fucking serious" rant he tells me that my other friend told him that he should ask me out, which I immediately call bullshit on because that friend doesnt even know my ex and I broke up. Then andre starts begging me to not tell anyone because they'll make fun of him. I told him I hand to go and hung up.
Was this an asshole thing to do? Should I have been more sensitive? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QcpHnNzyhm683CI7clVL7WSETO1aX7da | b0a5uf | {
"description": "submitting a piece of work just on my behalf instead of both mine and my partners",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I submit a piece of work just on my behalf instead of both mine and my partners? | So long story short, I got lumped with an idiot in my music class, and he literally never tries.
For our work, we had to choose an audio file, but while I wanted to do one, he wanted to do a different one. He turned off the computer in anger because of this.
He also did absolutely nothing we were supposed to; he listened to raps with his friends while I sat there working on the computer.
As a result, our piece of work isn’t nearly as good as I had hoped it would be, and I desperately want a good grade.
So, WIBTA If me and a friend come back at lunch to do a piece of our own, and let him take the fall, or should I just suck it up? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tQc3zvyxOuukDBZ0N4lGkbtSpR5SGHgD | b5jnsz | {
"description": "asking my sisters boyfriend to move out of my family home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for asking my sisters boyfriend to move out of my family home? | Okay so this has been happening for 2.5 years now, and I’ve finally reached my breaking point.
My sister (currently 18) started dating her boyfriend (21) in July before I (21) started living on campus at my university. He lived 30 minutes from our house and when he visited my sister, he would stay over so he wouldn’t need to drive home late at night. After a couple months, he never left and has lived in our newly renovated basement ever since (bed, dresser, closet etc) He does not have the best family life (parents are divorced, dads an asshole, stepmom refused to accept the age difference between my sister and him) so at first I was understanding and tried to accept him despite us disliking each other due to conflicting personalities. After first year I began commuting to school and now live at home with the 4.
Eventually, it became clear to our relatives and friends that he is just using us. We eat at restaurants 2+ times a week and pay for him every time, buy him groceries that he asks for, drive/pick him up places when he wants to drink, let him have whatever friends he wants over without needing permission etc...
He has a full time construction job and pays for his truck insurance and phone bill. Last year, he was at fault for an accident and refused to discuss any matters with my family. He has been laid off since December due to the weather and sleeps in our basement until 4pm everyday when my parents come home from work. He occasionally brings home coffee, picks family members up with our vehicles if he’s free and will buy dinner once every 6 months. He does no house/yard work, does not help with pets etc. His chores include tidying the basement (his bedroom).
For example: If I want to go downstairs and relax or do homework or anything, I have to ask permission to use it and have to go upstairs when he decides he wants it or wants to go to sleep.
A month ago, his truck was repoed due to missing the last four payments and again he refuses to discuss it with us - despite us letting him freely use our spare vehicle.
His presence has ruined the relationship between myself and my mom/sister because they consistently choose him and his feelings over my own. I have tried multiple times to talk with my mom about this and it has gotten to the point where she refuses to answer if i question anything. My dad knows it will hurt my sister if he makes him leave but he says if I ask him to, he will. I have not so far because I feel guilty about it.
Even going downstairs to do laundry feels like walking into a strangers bedroom.
My sister recently told me she wants to leave him but feels bad as he lives with us. After talking to him about it, he broke down and asked for another chance.
He has had 2.5 years to figure out a living situation since he decided not to live with his family, and I personally don’t think asking him to figure his shit out would be unreasonable at this point.
Would I be the asshole for asking him to move out? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
DWDTzwDVskLGBEZ1h8BoTDQiinvq8qkh | a913um | {
"description": "discouraging my wife's hobbies",
"pronormative_score": 127,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for discouraging my wife's hobbies? | I've been married for 6 years and we have shared finances. We both work but I do make a little more. My wife works from home.
When I met my wife, she didn't really have any hobbies or friends. She's reclusive and introverted but is very passionate about things. My issue is the current "thing" changes every few months and I worry about our financials.
Three years ago she decided to pick up guitar. Great! That's a wonderful hobby to have. She spent something like $600 on a guitar and $1500 on pedals and amps and other stuff. She was very enthusiastic about it for a month or two before giving up.
Two years ago she decided to get heavy into board games. She bought like $900 of board games and half of them still remain wrapped. We haven't played a board game in over a year and I've tried to initiate it a few times to no interest on her end.
Just this past September she decided photography would be her new thing. $1500 camera and $3000 in lenses layer, none of it is being used anymore.
Two days ago she's looking at a new guitar to buy, "maybe I didn't get into it because I didn't like the guitar I got, maybe this one will encourage me".
I try to support her and try to get the most out of these things (hell, I ever took an interest in photography and use her gear when I need to), my issue is she picks up a new hobby sometimes at $1000+ and then a month later it collects dust. I only mentioned the biggest ones, I didn't even mention the computer keyboard phase (???), book phase, vinyl record phase, etc.
AITA for wanting this to stop? I've encouraged her up to this point but I want to stop it and try to refocus her on stuff she's already blown a lot of our money on rather than pick up new things constantly. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 111,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 127,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
4jsrKlRz9tkiszW5osA5Dtmv5JTqEKBF | b1xw7g | {
"description": "sleeping with my friend's ex girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for sleeping with my friend's ex girlfriend? | Back story required. Names have been changed.
​
My friend, we'll call him Doug, and his girlfriend, we'll call her Diane, recently split up. They dated for about a year a couple years back and recently got back together for a couple months before calling it quits. It wasn't really a messy break up, but they both hold resentment towards each other.
​
Now, myself and Diane have a little bit of history. We were always decent friends and almost got together on a couple occasions. Doug, knowing our history, said he wouldn't be mad if I hooked up with Diane, so long as I told him about it. He claimed it would "let him know that she means nothing to him anymore." I told him I wasn't going to go out of my way to pursue anything, but if it happened, it happened.
​
Fast forward a couple of weeks and myself and Diane are at a bar with mutual friends. One thing leads to another and I end up bringing her back to my place and we have sex. A couple of days later the same thing happens. I didn't want to tell Doug right away because I didn't really know how to bring it up, but I told some of our mutual friends what had happened. I assured them I was going to tell Doug what had happened, and they agreed not to say anything.
​
Meanwhile, Diane and I have been talking occasionally, but I assured her I wasn't looking for anything serious and we haven't slept together since. One of the mutual friends I confided in said that Doug had been asking him if I slept with Diane, but he denied knowing anything. I was in a different state visiting family, but I decided as soon as I came home I would tell Doug what had happened.
​
Now, this is where things go south. One of Diane's friends, who also happened to be close with Doug, found out about the situation and told Doug. Doug was hanging out with the mutual friends that knew about the situation when he found out and became instantly upset that no one told him. He stormed out, and our friends called me upset that I put them in this situation because it all could've been prevented if I was up front about it. Doug then called me and said he wasn't upset I slept with Diane, but was unhappy I didn't say anything to him. If anything, he was more upset at our friends for not telling him.
​
AITA? While I do feel bad that I put my friends in this position, Doug did give me permission to sleep with Diane. My friends have since forgiven me, but Doug still holds it over my head. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
YJznZpkjwlvESp5pcvmai7a6yfEkAikE | b0mbrx | {
"description": "'breaking up' with a friend after 25 years of friendship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ‘breaking up’ with a friend after 25 years of friendship? | I am 30, she is 29. We’ve been friends since we were children.
She lives in another city in another state, so we see each other when we can. The last two times I saw her were extremely awkward. She didn’t ask anything about my life, completely ignored my fiancé (we were at dinner), and wanted to just sit and gossip about her friends. She has always been a bit self absorbed, but has become much more shallow in the past 5 or so years, and I feel that we’ve grown apart as people. The next time I saw her, she came over, and the same thing happened. She ignored my fiancé, only spoke to me, and only wanted to talk about her life. She didn’t ask about mine, didn’t engage with me on anything, and if I wasn’t asking her questions about her life, she sat quietly, and it was very awkward.
She asked if she had done anything to deserve my lack of attention lately, because I’ve not been reaching out to her, so I told her how I felt about our most recent interactions, and told her that I wasn’t sure we were compatible as friends. She said I’m the most important person in her life, that she loves me more than anyone on earth (I don’t feel the same), and that she held something against my fiancé that he did when we first started dating, and she could never really get over it. I have no idea what she is referring to, and she said she didn’t want to dredge things up if they were things I’ve already dealt with personally, and that she would get over it so as to avoid our relationship suffering.
She has always needed me so much more than I need her, and it makes me feel like the asshole because I don’t have the same attachment to her.
All of my other friends find her extremely stuck-up, and she lends them no deference when they’re around her. She pretends everyone is invisible but me, and has no interest in interacting with anyone other than myself.
She also got angry at my fiance at our baby shower because she made a (very thoughtful) gift for me and I didn’t give the reaction she wanted when she opened it, so she took him outside and confronted him, saying she knew he told me. I was very pregnant, and the last thing I wanted was for her to make that day about her. She was angry with him, even though it was his baby shower too.
She posted on twitter last night (she never posts on twitter—she clearly just wanted me to see it) that she had been crying all day (after our conversation) and her Apple Watch told her to breathe, but she couldn’t because she was crying so hard. It feels like emotional manipulation and guilt-tripping. And it worked. I couldn’t sleep after reading that.
She’s been REALLY considerate of me at times. When i was broke, she bought groceries for me and had them delivered to my house. She randomly sent me flowers once. She’s not a bad person, which is why this is so difficult, and I feel so guilty. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GAXkIBvF3gJPzcVfxSjpxy30zJYHxPrq | aw4ci0 | {
"description": "rejecting a girl as revenge",
"pronormative_score": 144,
"contranormative_score": 647
} | AITA for rejecting a girl as revenge? | So, to start off, maybe, it was a bit petty of me tbh. Anyway, I asked this girl Clara out on a date about a year ago. I was a completely different person then, and she turned me down. It stung like hell, but it did encourage me to better myself. Since then I've gotten in better shape, became more confident and generally I've had more luck with girls. I still never forgot what made me improve though, and that will always be a shitty memory.
Anyway, me and a few friends I've made since last year went out to a gathering. I'm still fairly new in their circle, and surprise! Clara was there. I think she recognized me but I wasn't sure. Me and her hit it off, and at the end of the night we had a date planned. The date went pretty well and we went on our second one last friday.
After this I went home and thought about where to go next, and I realized I couldn't really forgive her. So, she hit me up asking if we were going out again, and I sort of make a joke of it, blew it off and put her on mute. I haven't responded since then, and our mutual friends say she's been pretty upset, since she gets attached to people quickly, but the revenge I got was so sweet!
But, maybe I was an asshole though, what does Reddit think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 638,
"OTHER": 112,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 32,
"INFO": 16
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 144,
"WRONG": 647
} | WRONG |
yrNPiyLl5rAvRWG2C7xmT6euz2xvHkGH | aftzq5 | {
"description": "leaving my suicidal ex girlfriend to live with a bunch of strangers",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my suicidal ex girlfriend to live with a bunch of strangers? | Basically, I live with my ex in a room in the house she Nanny's for. We broke up before new years and all has been fine. Until now.
She has preexisting health conditions where if she doesn't eat meat at least 2-3 times a week she gets majorly depressed and suicidal.
She literally dis regards this all the time to be vegan. This kind of irrational behavior is what led to us breaking up in the first place.
She has been vegan since we broke up and shocker: tonight she had a suicidal episode which she prefaced with cursing me out and calling me a free loader(haven't been paid since govt shut down)
So I immediately got on Craigslist and emailed a group of strangers who seem reasonable enough and am probably leaving before the week is up.
Am I the asshole here? If I don't stay I'm pretty sure something might actually happen but in what way is this my shit to deal with anymore?
Tldr; it's not really that long. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kPceav0j8E1YknLUr35AFmizs1INzwsD | b7rf4f | {
"description": "disowning my sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for disowning my sister | My sister is 5 years older than me, she ran away from home at 14, came home for a short while and then moved, had three kids within 8 years and is now addicted to meth and loves halfway across the country. My mom went to see her before we found out about the drug addiction around Christmas time two years ago. My sister kicked my mom out of her house on Christmas Eve which set off this two year grudge, I’m my moms bestfriend, and am always there for her when she needs me to be, and help financially while she raises my nephew. I recently found out that my sister gets a crazy amount of money for someone who has never worked more than two months at a time and has a drug addiction. She still gets child tax credit for one of her kids that she doesn’t even have but whatever. My niece is raised by my grandmother, my nephew by my mother , and my baby niece by her father. I’ve been helping my mom as much as I can after I moved away and got a good job, this was after two years of college so I obviously have some debt. My mom has been defending my sister every chance she gets since she went to rehab last year and has was clean for 110 days. I told my mom that I can’t afford to help out as much as I do anymore as I think it’s time my money that I earn is mine (my mom works, gets support for my nephew and compensation for a work related injury) she was pretty mad at me at first and I didn’t know what to say as I don’t think I was in the wrong. My sister started messaging me asking for money again and I confronted her that she should be helping my mom instead of my mom needing to pay for everything, my sister technically still has custody of my nephew because his dad left him behind but is now involved in his life again. The confrontation resulted in my sister trashing my mom to me and I ended up blocking her on all means of contact and deciding that I don’t need it in my life. I just found out she is expecting baby number four and while angry about it, most of my family supports it. Therefore none of them ever want to talk about this but I need opinions on if I acted the right way or not. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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