id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
K7BKBEy8OgtAyTzh8tpekwma4RlqLXCx | b3yams | {
"description": "cutting contact/not even saying hi to my best friend of 13 years",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for cutting contact/not even saying hi to my best friend of 13 years? | So me and my (ex) best friend haven't talked since September. Now, let's go wayback in 2018, as this story is quite big and complex. So I had a big crush on this girl for over a year, let's call her Maria and him John. One day, after school, me and John were on our way to grab something to eat, when we randomly bumped into Maria and asked her if she wanted to come with us to eat, which she did. Once I was done, I had to leave as I had a Chemistry lesson, while both of them continued eating. (Mind you, I was a senior in High School and I was taking the exams in June). Fast forward to July, I was done with my exams and a female friend of mine told me that there were rumours that Maria and John went out on a date, and the first thing that came to my mind was that day I just mentioned. So I told her that the rumours are false and they never went on a date, they just simply ate for a bit together once I left the store. At the time, my friend knew very well that I had a crush on her and I was so sure that John would never do such a thing and I didn't even give it a second thought. The same friend that told me about the rumour, bumped into Maria one day and Maria asked my friend if she knew about the rumours, which it turned out to be true. So she told me, and then I asked a really close friend, both I's and John's, if he knew anything about the situation, let's call him Ted. So Ted told me that Maria and John had been talking to each other since last December and that they went on a date where they made out. When John told Ted that he had been talking with Maria and was planning a date, Ted told John that he had to tell me, which he did not want to do because ''it would had affected my exams preparation'' so Ted didn't tell me even thought he insisted. When I found out , I was lost. To this day, I really can't believe, that my best friend of 13 years would make out with my biggest crush behind my back without telling me literally nothing. It's not about Maria, fuck Maria I ,now, couldn't care less, its all about honesty and being a decent fucking friend, let alone homie.
Some of you may think: '' Oh come on man you would have done the same thing" and I'll tell you something to show you how much friendship and honesty means to me.
One night, I had a girl literally all over me, but she was an ex- girlfriend of a friend of mine, who is a really cool dude but we were far from close friends. So I said fuck it, Im not hooking up with her it's not right, at least according to my morals, so I was trying to kill time while she was all over me, until we left the club.
If that was really about not trying to upset me during my preparation then he would have told me after I was done with them, right? Well he had time but he did not.
I do not hold any grudges nor hard feelings, I simply don't want to have this kind of people around me. To this day, he hasn't even said a simple '' I'm sorry''.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
zEUlTg9xHKiRVUixDuTsjvourYXXjzx7 | a4ohy2 | {
"description": "not wanting to go home for winter break",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go home for winter break? | Some background info, I go to college several hours away from home and every time i go back home for break, the majority of it is ruined by arguments and conflicts with my mother or painful isolation. This has caused me to develop increased anxiety, depression, and in one case, cause self harm. I am going spend winter break with my girlfriend and her family in the midwest this year to experience a true Christmas for the first time in my life, plane ticket courtesy of her family, and my mother has gotten extremely upset that I am not going home to visit. Yet every time I'm home she is barely interested in my presence, and when she is, it involves some sort of insult or rude comment to me. She tries to make me feel guilty by saying how she would cook for me and how I'm not a good son for not coming home for break. Additionally, when I do go home for break, I am usually alone because I do not have access to a car, live too far from friends to walk, and am basically confined to my room out of lack of things to do in my town. The rest of my family either is always at work or also isolated in their rooms out of personal preference. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
atKYzvGj1WCQP0elliqfaQF20WhvjmW7 | ap33du | {
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because of white lies he kept telling",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because of white lies he kept telling? | My now ex kept telling white lies, usually for attention or because he thought the truth would upset me. I told him to stop because I can't always tell what is true and what isn't until I found out what actually happened. He told me that he would never lie to me. Later I realised that I don't trust him and I told him that I don't want to talk to him anymore. He was confused and angry and told me again that he doesn't lie to me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ACQgoR7UMoEdcJPkTL2FnmIBxj5kZr6O | arutui | {
"description": "getting mad at my depressed boyfriend for forcing me to role play his stories to make him happy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at my depressed boyfriend for forcing me to role play his stories to make him happy. | Sorry for the long title and probably bad spelling and punctuation but am glad you are reading this.
Ok the title alone probably puts me in a bad position for being called a monster but a bit of context. So my boyfriend and I are in a long distant relationship, have been for two years. It started off really good but now its gotten sour and I feel like I am staying with him for his good and not my own. Now he suffers from depression and has multiple personality disorder (at least from what he has told me). The story I am going to tell is probably a pretty petty one but it happened yesterday so I need to rant and this is the only place to do it.
So my mum does cleaning for this old lady Monday and Friday and I do dog walking occasionally helping her out of the Friday. Now it was Sunday, mum's just done a night shift when she is woken up by frantic calls from the old lady's neibour who's animal watching the old ladys dog and two cats, she tells mum she thinks one of the cats has had a stroke. This cat is really not doing great as it is being completely blind, almost completely deaf and all matted on her belly where she can't clean and she attacks if you try to get them out (my mums tried many times, at least de-matting her back) so we wait a bit till the vets open before going over there. The cat is stumbling, barely able to walk so we take her up to the vets. Now we to cut the vet a bit short we were there about 2 and a half hours to get seen and to have a blood test, now this isn't looking good for this cat, who is probably gonna get put down maybe before the old lady comes out of hospital (which she had been in since October last year and she is supposedly coming out today, a day after the vet) the whole while you have a 2 year old kid crying her eyes out constantly (not that I blame her, think her dog was having problems walking with the way her nan and mum were crying whatever it was wrong seemed pretty bad, like life or death bad), dogs barking and growling and barking. All of this adding onto stress with my legs that have been hurting rexently due to a shortened hamstring as well as the worried people around me
Lucky we don't have the cat put down that day, taking her home to the old ladys apartment type thing so she can at least see her one more time leaving. Now I am tired and achey, mum was going to take me and her to KFC on way back but we messed up dirrections, having takeaway from a more local place adding onto my stress.
Now this whole time I have been messaging my boyfriend and a group of my friends (who had my back while I stressed over the vets) trying my best to not stress my boyfriend out too, he knows I am at the vets and why I am trying to keep me happy, role playing one of my story for a bit before going back to his dbz one (he loves dbz and I struggle to understand half of it) so after ALL this I am walking my own dog after we have eaten (who coincidently has a got limp too recently, who I have worried might not have long left being an old dog and most of the dogs we knew have died too, I had cried when she started cause it was real bad) me and my boyfriend are talking.
I mentioned that I was tired from not sleeping (which was my fault I didn't tbh) and all the stuff I had done today. That's when he comes out with this comment which after feeling like this I wasn't ready for from him
Him:what shit
Me:vets. Two and a half bloody hours of it
Him:Oh is that tiring? You were sitting in a chair
Now I feel bad but I lashed out at him furious how he could say that after two and a half fucking hours
Me:IT'S EMTIONALY FUCKING DRAINING WTF YOU BEEN DOING ALL DAY
Me:lay in bed doing bugger all
(having finished school but not going to college yet or getting a job)
Him:calm down baby it wasn't an attack
Me:Certainly fucking looked like one
Him:No no no I was just asking and questioning *sniffles* I'm sorry
This convo continues till I say I am going to sleep for me it would have been about 6pm for me and high noon for him. He begs me not to but I ignore him going to sleep, I text some depressed stuff in my shitty state before I go to sleep, still absolutely fuming at him. He says he didn't mean it and is scared he might lose me, I don't sympathise as I normally would constantly saying I wanna sleep and be left alone till he gives up. (I feel kinda bad for this but still belive he was being horrible.)
I am woken at midnight by him calling me. I deny the call as always texting him to let me sleep starting our texting again.
Me:let me sleep.
Him:B..b..b..but you have slept. It's been like 6 hours
Me:And I would still be Sleep if you hadn't woken me
I then ignored him going back to sleep seeing these messages this morning
Him:B..b...b..b
Him:W.w..w.w..w.hy are you so meani
Him:WHY BABY WHY IVE BEEN CRYING FOR 6 HOURS
I replyed with this long ass text before this post
Me:Cause I try my best it's never enough for you. You always want more and more and I am sick of it. Stuck in a once skidded relationship where I always try to make you happy but your still always bloody upset no matter what I do cause you REFUSE to even try and better yourself then wonder why your upset all the time. It's cause I am the only one who puts up with your self serving behaviour, I know it's hard to fix it but your not even trying so I gotta ruin myself trying to fix you over and over to no effect. This is probably just gonna upset you more but I don't care, I have to TRY and get through to you without the others forcing us back to that status quo that's slowly draining us and our relationship
That's it. AITA for getting angry at my depressed boyfriend after he says something so cruel in my eyes, should I have been kind and understanding or was my in the moment rage out justified.
Sorry for such a long very furious ranting post but I had to tell someone about this. Thanks for reading and any answers would be much appreciated, thank you. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
8z6r9GsIYaXQSEYlXzRFxJbdU7E8KoXU | awcasd | {
"description": "leaving a wedding early",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for leaving a wedding early? | There's a girl I'm dating, we seem to get along and are getting pretty close. She tried to arrange having me come to her sister's wedding afterparty, but due to logistics and everything it wasn't completely guaranteed that it would happen. The day of the wedding, she messages me saying to come by. Now, this is a big deal to me since this would be the first time meeting her parents and family. In addition, I knew absolutely no one at this wedding, so you can imagine how that would give me some anxiety.
When I arrive, it's past 9:30, the dancing seems to have peaked, with the first guests starting to leave. Everyone is quite drunk, I tend to shy away from tons of alcohol. The girl I'm dating seems drunk asks me to bring her a drink, which I do. She then asks me to bring her a drink two more times, after I say things like "you sure?". I'm feeling a little strange since I've never seen her drunk before and she's behaving quite differently. In addition, I've had some really shitty past experiences with an ex who was borderline verbally abusive to me when drunk, and I just wasn't feeling it that night.
I spend about an hour dancing with the family, bride, and whoever else hasn't left yet, and then I tell her I'm thinking of heading home for the night soon. She straight up tells me I can't leave, and that she will get really upset if I do. She then asks me to do some random tasks which I do, like moving wedding supplies into the car and trying to stop the dance floor from dying out. I try to leave a few more times, but she makes it clear that it's going to be really bad if I leave. I end up leaving at around 1:30am.
The next day I told her that it was weird of her to force me to stay when I wasn't having a good time, and that she should be fine without me there since all her friends and family are gathered at the wedding, whereas I knew no one and it was a weird atmosphere to meet the family. She said that arriving and wanting to leave so soon isn't something you do. I'm not sure how to respond. AITA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
mhwWfUBaHdpJqFk1pim3SuruqGl5vYjt | b9d0zj | {
"description": "asking to use something at the gym someone else is using",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for asking to use something at the gym someone else is using? | So I'm at the gym lifting the other day when this awkward situation happened. I finish up doing barbel rows and I see this girl. She's easily the hottest girl in the gym, blond hair, cute face, skinny waist and thiqq ass. She clearly doesn't skip leg day. That's all totally irrelevant though because the problem is that she's doing bulgarian single leg squats on the only bench press in the gym. To me this is like curling in the squat rack. There's like a million other places you can put your foot. And today is bench press day. So I go up to her when she finishes her set and I'm like "Hey can I switch benches with you?" and she says something like "Oh ha I guess so.. but I just don't like the other benches they're too tall" and she clearly is annoyed at me so I just say nevermind don't worry about it and find something else to do instead of bench press. Am I an asshole for asking? I know it's a bit rude at the gym, but it's also crowded and if there's only one thing I can do my exercise on and 5 that someone else can, should I be a dick anyways and ask? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
L7oUr0PMKaYqtBQ9FGtLrlHWdwcW4RpN | b9unna | {
"description": "not wanting to pay 2/3 of the rent",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for not wanting to pay 2/3 of the rent? | When we first moved into our current place my girlfriend, my best friend/cousin and myself split our rent 3 ways. About 7 months ago my girlfriends mother came down with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and she moved to be with her mom as her caregiver about 4 months back so the house is now mostly my friends and I's responsibility we have been paying for everything 50/50 and my girlfriends mother's fight is going much better than expected with the usual up and downs (she was given 3 months to live but it's looking like she'll make it past when our lease gets up) I am moving out after the lease is up to return to school and friend is staying here in the city. Girlfriend is probably not going to be back living with me until after our lease expires. I have been breaking my back working a ton just to get by with the extra Bills. He told me yesterday he expects me to after this month to pick up her part of rent so he can save up to move out since he will be getting a new place 3 months before our lease expires. I told him absolutely not, I am staying in 1 room of the home and him in the other room (2bed townhome). It has driven a wedge between us and I feel hes trying to take advantage of me by asking me to pay 2/3s of rent while only using half the living space. I told him if he feels that strongly about it we can break the lease and go our separate ways. I understand the obligation for her to pay but she no longer lives here AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 13
} | RIGHT |
kJkKbvP94jV08ZCunJTkbzsvdX3eWSMi | az960o | {
"description": "not opening up to my host Mother Anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Not Opening Up to My Host Mother Anymore? | I am in exchange I’m Brazil for a year, an opportunity I am more than grateful for. And I’ve gotten pretty close to my host family, but that has been out to a stop lately.
The problem? My host mother tells everybody, I mean everybody, everything. She also puts everything on her Instagram story. We will call her Maria for now.
When I joined rotary, I put my mental illnesses in my medical form, just in case anything happens. It’s suppose to be just between my host parents, and my country officer. Maria one day randomly asks me about this. I trust her, and explain to her what the effects are, what to do if something happens, and how I have what I have. I don’t like to think my mental illnesses are who I am, but I have no problem accepting that and working through them to have an easier life.
After a few days, we are having a get together with Maria’s friends. They have brought some other people as well and there’s quite a good crowd. I brought Maria and her friends some drinks and Maria introduced me to the people I haven’t met. She then continues on saying where I’m from, and out of nowhere she states ALL of things I told her about my mental illnesses.
I wouldn’t say I’m ashamed of them, but that was a PRIVATE moment for us. I felt so embarrassed and awkward when everyone went quiet and had worried expressions on their faces. I went outside to take a breather. It was all too much.
Later after it the party was over, O tried explaining to Maria that it was inappropriate to say those things, and that it was said in confidence. She then says (in Portuguese of course) “don’t you think people should know?” I tried seeing that logic, but people I barely know, know about my illnesses before they even know my last name. That reason wasn’t good enough for me.
There was even a time she told others I had a panick attack. I asked her why she felt the need to tell people I don’t know that, but she said “they need to get to know you!”
So lately I haven’t opened up to her. She still talks about me, not as extreme as the examples above, but still. Telling people about my family and my childhood I opened up to her about. It’s not the greatest.
I fee like I can’t trust her. She repeats everything like a parrot. I can’t even tell her I am having menstrual cramps without her broadcasting it to everyone at the dinner table. Am I wrong for not opening up to her anymore?
TLDR: My host mother Maria has a big mouth and tells everyone Things I say to her in private. I feel like I can’t trust her anymore.
Pardon the typos.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
WAhjPegqCqivwX5prcdKe02R6lkYXQLG | a798pk | {
"description": "blatantly ignoring my mother because I dont want to be her \"puppet\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blatantly ignoring my mother because I dont want to be her "puppet"? | Im sorry if this is really long and incomprehensible, I'm rage typing right now.
First, just a little backstory: My parents are currently going through a divorce and let's just say they arent acting the most amicable towards each other. I'm already an "adult" (I'm 19) so this isnt a matter of who gets custody or that type of thing, so in my opinion I dont think I even need to be involved with the whole situation. However, they are involving me and it's starting to annoy the shit out of me. Sometimes it feels as if they treat me like a therapist because all they do when I'm with one of them is listen to their ranting and say shit like "yeah" "uh huh" "wow" "sure". They like to talk shit about each other to me and idk it kinda feels a little manipulative like they're trying to get me on their "side". I live and go to school in a different city so most of the time I can get away from all the bullshit, except now I'm back for the holidays and it hasn't even been 36 hours and I'm already losing my shit. I honestly dont know if I will be able to last the 3 weeks.
Back to today: I was lucky enough that my parents set aside some money for me to use when I go to college, and right now my father has control of all of it (he has always been the one to take care of financial matters so this is normal). Today, my mother told me to tell my dad that "I want access to my money". This is in quotations because she basically gave me the script on what to tell my father, so essentially she didnt even ask me what I wanted to do and now I have to lie. The reason she wants me to do this is because within the next few days my dad is flying back to his home country for a couple of months to chill until things here settle down and she is worried that once he leaves we wont be able to access the papers, go to the bank and get control of the money. My mother is under the impression (even though she denies it) that my father will take the money and spend it on some other woman and start a new family and forget all about me and I wont have anything left. I feel bad because yeah I love my mom but she is so incredibly hard to live with. She does things impulsively and doesnt always react logically to situations. She has had a history of "gambling debt" (that's what my dad told me but idk if I can trust him because he could just be saying that to manipulate me) which is why I for sure would not trust her with my money. And if I'm being honest idk if I could trust my dad with my money either because what if he really does just use it all and forget about me. The only person I believe right now is myself. I went out to dinner with my dad tonight to see him before he leaves and that was when I was supposed to perform my given script. When I got home and my mom asked if I told him what I was supposed to, i obviously told her no. She starts going on a rant telling me that "you shouldn't trust your father he is a bad person", "he is manipulating you", "you dont understand, I'm doing this for you" that kind of thing. Ever since I've been little, whenever my mom starts going off at me I shut down and dont respond to anything because even attempting to say how I feel will result in the waterworks. After about 10 minutes of this I lose my shit and basically tell my mom that "i dont care what you tell me to do, i will do whatever i want. Stop getting me involved in all of this, I dont care what happens to the money, etc etc."
The truth is that I do want to be able to access my college money but really from just a "help me learn about all this financial stuff point of view". But I dont want my dad to think I dont trust him. I also get that what I said to my mom may come off a bit entitled, I kind of lost my shit and just wanted her to leave me alone. Am I the asshole for 1.) Being mad at my parents for not wanting to get involved with any divorce stuff, 2.) Not reciting the script that my mom gave me, 3.) Basically telling my mom to fuck off when I wouldn't tell my dad what she told me to tell him, 4.) Not caring enough about what happens to money that will be important if I want to continue school after my bachelors, and lastly 5.) Am I the asshole for not wanting to be around any of them, like seriously, I have a history of depression and ever since I moved away to college I have never been happier, it's only when I have to go back home that my mental health gets worse. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LQYqvVoH86VnVguqBQpZuHkvVFHq5enW | aozfof | {
"description": "going off on a person who threatened me but was probably high",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going off on a person who threatened me but was probably high? | Pretty sure I'm not but it bothers me because he may not have been in the right mind state when this happened.
Was catching the bus home the other day and an older gentlemen (40ishM) (I'm 28M) proceeded to light a cigarette on the bus. I was eyeing him the whole time and right before he lit it he looked at me and said "the fuck u looking at?" I politely asked him not to light it on the bus and he told me to fuck off. I didnt want a confrontation so I let it go. My stop was only 8 mins or so away.
As soon as our interaction ends a guy (roughly 20-23) wants to chime in. "Oh who the fuck u talkin to. U cant tell him what to do. Who do u think u are?"
I proceeded to say that I was just asking him to not smoke on the bus and that I didnt want any trouble. He looks like he might be on something but carries on "fuck u, u cant say shit, I'll fuck u up blah blah blah" and continues this for a while. I kept my composure until he brought race into it and then threatened to kill me.
"Blah blah blah who the fuck u think u are white boy? I'll kill u." A little insight... I'm mixed (Russian and Ethiopian) and he's black. I have dreadlocks but I had a ski mask on since it was 20 degrees out so he couldn't see my hair and assumed I was straight white.
I immediately threw off my ski mask and got in his face. "Who the fuck u callin white boy?!" Cant remember my exact choice of words but I threatened to fuck him up and he turned into a little bitch. Dont think he realized how tall I was. I'm 6'6 and he was about 5'2.
He jad walked up to me while I was in my seat to voice his nonsense but never engaged me physically. I just feel like an ass because he may have been on drugs and not known better. Since I didnt feel threatened physically should I have just kept my cool? At the same time my life was verbally threatened. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L20Cjf6WCNC1gEBjuWcPtETsBcRfvF6Z | b900qz | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to pay back rent",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to pay back rent? | I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 4 years but we still keep separate finances and split rent. There was a period where she was unemployed and I was paying 100% of the rent for which I didn’t ask, nor do I want, her to pay me back.
She then found a job that she started on the first of the the month. Since she wouldn’t be getting a check until the 15th and had been dipping into her savings to cover other living expenses I said that she should not pay her half of the rent on the first of the month (the day she started her job) and instead just pay me back at the end of our current lease (about a year away).
Now that that time has come, I feel weird asking her to pay me that half a month’s rent from a year ago. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kor2BOfG4Vif6uWoLnVuCVyIyrgxilRx | atb9ce | {
"description": "considering calling child protective services on my parents",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for considering calling child protective services on my parents? | So my parents have been pretty anti civilization for as long as I can remember, they brought up 11 children including myself and a large section of my childhood was spent in a bus traveling with them, we only moved into a house when I was seven years old. After we got internet they began to adopt anti vaxxer views and didn't vaccinate any of us after my oldest brother.
I am now 19 and have moved out of home, but my youngest sister has been telling me that my parents have begun a diet that is purely meat based and they won't let the kids eat vegetables as they believe they aren't healthy, my dad makes a good wage but they spend it on buying themselves better clothes and not buying anything but the absolute necessities for the kids.
She has also told me that they don't help my younger siblings do homework, as they are homeschooled and simply let them play on their laptops all day.
Also recently I argued with my mother in an attempt to convince her to vaccinate the kids after the recent news of measles outbreaks and instead she told me dad that I called them both child abusers and didn't listen to anything I had said.
AITA for considering calling CPS? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 48,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 48,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9DhymkHQYNIMFBlfch7cd4TCnITzUPEQ | aslgc1 | {
"description": "asking my ex-roommate for rent",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my ex-roommate for rent? | I'm on mobile, sorry for formatting, etc.
Until earlier this month, myself and three other people lived together. One is my fiancé D, one is my best friend A, the last one was B, a friend of mine that was dating A for about five months. A and I both knew B from high school through friends. D and B were also good friends before this all went down.
A and I are on the lease, D is a listed tenant, B came on after we signed and we didn't want to pay a fee to add him as listed.
A's 21st birthday was this past Valentine's Day. Less than a week before, she sat down with B to talk about some issues that she was having with communication and he ended up confessing he didn't love her anymore. He left that night and hasn't been back yet.
They've since talked and are on okay terms, we've made plans to have him come get his stuff and they'll meet face to face later this week.
Here's where it gets sticky:
A, D, and I sat down and agreed that B needs to pay the last month of rent/utilities. Our cycle for electric and water runs the 12th of the month through the 12th, our rent runs the 15th through the 15th, both are paid on the following 1st of the month. He left on the 11th, which means that he was here for the vast majority of our bill cycle. We also paid his portion of the bills ourselves for the first three months of him living there because he was getting out of a bad living situation.
He said he doesn't live there anymore and therefore he shouldn't have to.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0KZLTzc1khO1OZF4sW4FQ0HkxQwL0mZi | 9y5tya | {
"description": "nearly killing 2 14 year old boys",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA: I nearly killed 2 14 year old boys | This is my first Reddit post so im not familiar on how I should approach a title or text so sorry about that.
So basically at the time it was around 6 months ago (I'm 16 btw male) and I took my girlfriend's little sister (she was 5 at the time and we'll call her M for now) to the park so I was on my phone just texting while M was just playing on the slides and then I hear a bunch of laughter and M crying so I run my ass off to her and I see her bleeding from her head so I decide to ask the shits "What in the fuck happened" and M points out that they threw a rock and took her doll so I say "Apologize to her right the fuck now". They spat on my shoe and told me they don't give a fuck so I told Maggie to go to the ladies room and wait there for me.
I grabbed the little fuckers hoodie(the kid who spat on my timbs) and pinned him to the ground and started beating him and kicked him a shit ton then 2 of his friends ran away but one of them tried to jump on my back for idk why so I fell back basically crushing the kid (because I'm basically 2x his height) and smashed his head against the pole. Anyways I told my mom(she's a cop) what happened and my girlfriends mom police got involved mostly because the parents of the 2 little shits wanted me arrested because the kid I striked first suffered a broken rib, punctured lung and dislocated shoulder. The second kid broke his ribs and suffered a crack in his skull and was a little deaf in his right ear. The most that happened was there was CCTV footage of the incident and what happened to M and the most I did was 6 months of therapy. But I just wanna know of IMTA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 15
} | RIGHT |
3oFnUHnGtyF3KiYNQ41iobQLkMcB84ww | a0yfps | {
"description": "kicking my roommate out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for kicking my roommate out? | So long story ahead.
Me and my girlfriend dated for a few months. So I ended up moving in, someone we worked with became good friends with us and she moved in, we will call her B. So B was a lesbian and had a girlfriend that never lived here, I never had a problem with her living here and she was great to have around. Not cut to a couple weeks ago, B’s girlfriend is visiting, I didn’t have a problem she was here a couple weeks. One night, a couple friends were hanging out with my girlfriend, B, and Bs girlfriend downstairs, and I was in my room, being a nerd.
So over the course of the night, they’re starting to get drunk, and that’s all I know, my girlfriend ended up coming into my room late at night, while I was still playing and she fell asleep. Nothing crazy.
Cut to last night. I’m sitting with my girlfriend, and she brings up casually how b’s girlfriend was telling my girlfriend how hot it would be if b made out with her, she ignored it because she’s awkward. Later that night, my girlfriend was hanging out in her room, before she came to mine, and B was texting her about how hot it would be for a threesom. My girlfriend, being naive and nice, was talking about how “what would I even do” and was saying things, that I called encouraging it. I got very upset but know my girlfriend is just really awkward with saying no, and was drunk and didn’t handle it well, I was very upset, but didn’t blame b or B’s girlfriend, I blamed my girlfriend.
It wasn’t until today, where I finally believed my girlfriend, in her just being bad at saying no (she’s too nice) but once we were talking about it more, I realized that if B was a guy, and was talking about fucking my girlfriend, I would kick her out immediately, I told my girlfriend this, and that’s when she eye openly understood why I was upset, if you just act like she’s a guy, she seems like a fuckboy, even today bringing it up with her, B never apologized, she even jokingly texted my girlfriend “so I guess were not gonna have sex 😂😂😂”. She said it was a joke when I confronted her, but all I could think of, is that is what fuck boys do when they wanna shoot a shot, with little risk.
So today I decided that she can’t live here, I’m about to go on a three week trip, and even though I trust my girlfriend, I can’t have someone in the house who wants to fuck her. So I pretty much told her I’m an extremely nice way, that she needs to move out, I’m giving her a week because she isn’t on the lease, and she doesn’t have a lot of stuff. She had another place to stay already, 15 minutes away. My girlfriend said, imagining her as a dude, made her feel uncomfortable, because B would walk in on her changing occasionally, and talked about how hot she was.
Am I the asshole for kicking her out? I know my girlfriend sounds bad in this too, but she doesn’t know when she’s being taken advantage of, and completely sees my point of view once she imagined the roles reversed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
me5FSJcREUx6tPfN8ryFNn3lArIi1Htl | aifrnf | {
"description": "being upset over a piñata",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset over a piñata? | On mobile, sorry. I’ll try to summarize this as best as I possibly can.
This happened a little over a year ago, but its still something I wonder about.
It was about two weeks before my sons first birthday, and I was working hard to plan it. My MIL were talking about the event and I mentioned I would like her opinion on things. I love my MIL, she is a wonderful and thoughtful person, but she has the tendency to take an idea and really run with it. In the beginning when we were talking about the party, I had mentioned that I wanted to do a mickey mouse disney theme (son really loved the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show on Disney Channel.) The very next day, she showed up at our house with EVERYTHING. Decorations, plates, napkins, party favors, party bags, balloons, and everything you can think of. Everything was themed and color coordinated. At first I felt a little upset about it, because these were some things I wanted to go and get while planning my sons very first birthday party. It seemed like a right of passage type thing and I was kind of robbed of that. Instead I decided to flip my attitude around and think of all of that stuff had been taken care of, now I could focus on other stuff.
I decided I would take care of the cake and a piñata. Two of the last things that had not been taken care of. I made it VERY CLEAR that I was doing this stuff. I sent text messages, and it was verbally said. I sent over pictures of the cake I was copying from the Internet (mickey mouse cake.)
I went to the store and bought a mickey themed piñata and candy to fill it up. On my way home, I stopped at my in laws house to show it to them and how cute it was. Everyone liked it and that was that. The very next day, MIL sent me a picture of a bigger and better piñata she bought through text. It crushed me a little bit. This may not seem like a huge deal, but I was 3 months pregnant with my second son at the time and I just cried. I felt that everything was done without me.
I told my husband about it, and he laid into me. He said I was ungrateful after “everything everyone has done for us and this party” and that I shouldn’t treat it like a competition. I wasnt, and I simply wanted to plan and possibly get some help planning my sons party. Not have the show stolen from me. Not only did my MIL buy an extra piñata with candy, on the day of the party she also showed up with a birthday cake she made instead. There was not one thing I did alone.
Something that came of this situation is that I have grown a really strong spine and I have no problem telling people to back off anymore.
Did I make a huge problem out of nothing? The pregnancy hormones really clouded my mind honestly.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Z51q5GazvsNbpqxsQRMask7ZDmbaNXB3 | akdf04 | {
"description": "wanting to dote on my kids",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to dote on my kids? | Not my story, but my dads girlfriends (who I really support in this story. But this is the view from an outsider)
So, a few months back my dads girlfriend, who I'll call C, had her kids over (1 girl, who is a gymnast and in college, 3 sons, 1 is depressed, 1 has a wife and three kids, and another who is planning on going into the military. None of this is really important, but it will come up in the story)
C is normally the one to wake up and make everyone breakfast (for my dad, me, my two sisters, and now her four kids, alond with three young children) so, obviously, she put her own kids first, as she hadn't seen them in a long time- since they live with their father about an hour and a half away, and she's always at work (travel nurse). Making breakfast for 12 people is a bit of a stretch. Me and my sisters are still sleeping so she decides to cook for us when we wake up.
Bad idea: my dad gets really pissed at her for not waking us up when the food is done. She tries to explain that she was going to cook when we woke up, since we don't like other people, and it was getting crowded. So he waits. We wake up, and she was in the middle of something with her kids so she couldn't cook right away. Now my dad is getting pissier and pissier by the second. He's a big guy, around 6 feet and 300+ lbs- and he has a history of being emotionally and psychologically controlling towards people around him (ex: he makes fun of me and my sisters and constantly tells us our shortcomings) so when he's pissed, it gets scary. She apologizes to us each personally for not making the food yet, and she gets up to do it. My dad, of course, starts yelling at her for not treating HIS kids the same as HER kids. Now, I understand both sides. She lives with him and treats us as her own, but he doesn't treat her kids as even remotely his. My dad tells us to go get dressed to leave, and we do, seeing as we don't want to make him madder. C gets sad and tries to get him to stay, "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again", "I didn't know I wasn't treating them the same" etc.
So we leave for a few hours to do who knows what, and when we get back she had clearly been crying (red eyes, puffy cheeks, etc) but does Dad care? Not one bit. He makes off hand comments about it, making her feel worse and apologize more. As the day goes on, everyone drops the subject, but her kids are clearly mad at my dad for the 'incident'
Side note: I don't know the exact ages of her kids, but the youngest is 16- C is constantly at work so she hardly has any time for herself. On the rare occasion she does, it's either spent sleeping or cooking/cleaning for my dad.
Another side note, further explaining my dads manipulation: so, C and my dad are planning on getting married, though, SHE has to lose weight before he'll even propose (she has to get down to 160, which I believe she'll look like a twig.) While he's perfectly fine in his almost 400+ lbs lifestyle.
Rip me a new one here, is C the asshole here? Or is it my dad? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hVKFLtn8qKB75JMwjjzkfIes2SruyG1H | 9y1mkr | {
"description": "lying to my girlfriend about my previous history",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for lying to my girlfriend[17F] about my previous history? |
When I was 10(I’m 17 now) my parents hired a babysitter Amanda who was 17 at the time. We had “play times” where we would both take our clothes off and we would fondle each other and she would perform oral sex on me. I never told anyone about it because it felt good and I remember Amanda being nice. Amanda would tell me that this would end if I told anyone so I kept my mouth shut. This went on for a year until she left for college. I’d see her occasionally when she came home during block parties my neighborhood has. After a couple years though I never saw her again.
Fast forward to now I created an instagram account. I thought everyone has one and I don’t have any friends so maybe this would be a good way to connect. I look up people I know and have known and Amanda came into mind. I looked up Amanda and actually managed to find her. It’s messed up, but the first thing I saw was how hot she was and I masturbated to pictures of her. She’s gorgeous and has a prefect body, she looks like a supermodel.
There’s a girl, Nicole who came to our school in the beginning of the year. We got placed in the same geography class. Nicole looks almost exactly like Amanda. I couldn’t believe my eyes. During class I would stare at her most of the times. Seeing her made me feel giddy and alive. Then I started sort of stalking Nicole. First it was just social media stalking, then I started following her to her classes and to the parking lot when she would leave. She never caught me and I never told her about this.
I have lots of social anxiety and hate interacting with people, but I decided that I was going to try and at least talk to Nicole. So one day in class I sat next to her and started chatting. It was awkward at first, but she and I had some similar hobbies and we got along well. I asked her out a couple months ago and she said yes. So we’ve been dating for a couple months and we’ve only gone to making out and feeling each other up.
She told me she had sex a handful of times with her previous boyfriend, but isn’t quite ready with me. I’m with that and told her so. When she asked me about my sexual history froze up at first. I lied to her and told her I hadn’t done anything sexual before her. She was suspicious at first(I'm a bad liar and she reads people well), but believes me now. I’ve seen and heard about a lot of breakups and fights over one side lying about their past. Am I the asshole for lying about this to Nicole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
FFWlW7Z104tXNlbkiqIyLJ3457yYiLTN | b2bobx | {
"description": "asking which apartment a girl lives in after she brought up the fact that we live in the same apartment building",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITAH for asking which apartment a girl lives in after she brought up the fact that we live in the same apartment building? | Sorry for the akward title, wasn't sure how to phrase this succinctly
Also spoilers: compared to a lot of posts here this is probably pretty tame, but it's been bugging me so I thought I would ask.
Oh my days off from school and/or when I work closing shifts I swing by the local Coffee Bean to grab coffee and breakfast. One of the girls who works there mentioned she seems me around her apartment building all the time. We realized we both live in the same apartment building called "[Street Name] Court"
I was still half asleep from working the closing shift last night so I just absentmindedly said something like "Oh wow, I'm in unit 201, which one are you", didn't really think much of it.
Immediately her tone/body language changed and she said "I'm not telling you that dude" and then I overheard her commenting to her coworker about how oblivious I am for asking.
Am I the asshole here? Like, we established we both live in the same building, I was just trying to continue the conversation before I got my coffee rather than stand there in awkward silence.
It's 100% her business if she doesn't want to tell me where she lives, but she was the one who brought up that we live in the same building.
I don't know, it's minor but it's had me second guessing myself all morning. Maybe I just need more sleep and coffee. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
dKmrNPVL75qGRsMtUP6Nc5ocX7eiWjqs | aokvea | null | AITA - Knife Snowball | Context: my wife gave birth to our daughter last September. She is returning to work in May. I took 2 weeks paternity and have since been at work full time. Since giving birth, she has been distant from me, which is totally understandable given the new little person in our life.
Often, when I get home I clean the house, cook dinner and just generally look after them both. We have a bedtime routine of bath, story, feed, bed. I'm involved the whole way.
I am currently on a month's sick leave due to increased anxiety from work, so have been spending a lot more time with them than usual.
Today we went to a toddler group and then for coffee after. I paid and brought back the drinks and food. My wife was feeding our girl so I offered her a sip of her milkshake as her hands were full. She accepted and I started to drink my coffee.
She's usually a chatty kind of person, but was quiet so I asked her if anything was wrong. She said she was irritated that I hadn't offered to cut up her muffin and feed it to her. I said I didn't know she wanted that, so it doesn't do any harm just to ask. She said that she always has to ask for stuff, so I should just be logical and cut up her muffin to feed to her. I was annoyed so got up and said "fine, I'll get you a fucking knife and cut it for you". She then got our daughter ready to go and as I got my coat she said "I don't know why you're getting ready, you're not coming with us". I got up anyway and followed them to the car.
We got into an argument by the car where she said I shouldnt swear at her, I don't do anything to raise our child, and that she shouldn't have to keep asking me to do things; I should just know. She kept telling me to get out of the car, so I did, and she drove off, leaving me in another town.
I've spent the day wandering around, giving her space. I came home tonight, cooked dinner, ran the bath and then she refused to let me get our daughter dressed for bed (part of my contribution to the bedtime routine). She has now got her in bed with her and won't let me stay with them.
AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
PC3McRfs4f4dxCDCnBW9KRFZwt0WZW2u | 9zy2ft | {
"description": "dropping out of medicine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for dropping out of medicine? | A bit of backstory first, 2 years ago i graduated from highschool and took the university entrance exam in my country (1 exam for all the unis) i wasn’t really sure what i wanted to study on higher education but my parents wanted me to study medicine and i’ve always avoided confrontation with that. So i took the exam and went abroad to study medicine, which cost my parents 15.000€ for the prepatory course and the first semester over 2 years. I’m grateful that they allowed me to do this but i never actually wanted to study medicine at all.
I allowed myself to get pumped up talking to my parents and their friends all the time and this caused them to think that i wanted it aswell. When i tell them about this they don’t acknowledge it being their influence
Yet i told my parents about what i thought i wanted to study around the same time again (endustrial design) but my mother dismissed it by saying “you only want to do that because you’re lazy and you can’t even draw well” (plot twist: i do draw well).
I also had a mild anxiety disorder for the last few years and it really flared up this year while forcing myself to study medicine. It once came to the point of being suicidal around 2 months ago. I don’t want to force myself anymore if it does this to me.
I went back to my home country a week ago and i decided to work full time and prepare for the entrance exams again for this year. And my mother still wants me to go back and continue studying medicine and says that i will basically fuck up my only chance at life if i quit it.
So AITA for deciding to drop out and start preparing for the exam again? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2VTN0Y6OdKRI36oaOe3eV0puWerpZNxK | aodttl | null | AITA guy doesn’t like my reverse stellar driving skills in a school zone, I ignore a high ranking individual, just trying to get through life... | The new school where I am stationed was built with roads that if everyone was even a partially proficient driver, there would be room for people to park on both sides up against the curb, and a third car could squeeze between them, thus not inhibiting the flow of cars coming and going during pickup of children.
I am pulling around looking for a spot and there has been a bottleneck created by cars being in the way and parking 2 ft off the curb. I have cars in front of me that can’t go anywhere, no one is in the parked cars, and then several others cars pull up behind me. We are all now trapped. One of the other moms gets out, goes down the line, explains the issue and how we all need to back up and figure out a way around. Cool, no problem.
I begin backing up, guy behind me sees me backing up, he starts backing up, everything is going swimmingly. We all kind of clear the area, and people just kind of pull over to the side, blocking in all the cars that are in parking spots along the straight away. Me, not being a jerk, continues to look for a parking spot, or a spot in the curb I can fit my very tiny car. Problem is, there isn’t any room to turn around. As a proficient driver, I continue backing up and find a spot against the curb. I should mention, I have my hazards on, as it’s a school area, backing up, and it’s a small car, so if a little kid runs around a big car, they may not spot me. I’m not going fast, just moving along at a slower than walking pace. I find a spot against the curb, expertly swing in, no harm, no foul.
My window is down from when the mom came and talked to us all in the line, and I didn’t bother rolling it up. I put the car in park, left the hazards on, and was in the process of getting out when this dude 4 or 5 cars up starts shouting at me. I can’t understand him, so say, what did you say? He starts going off about me backing up, it’s not safe, don’t I care about the children and other cars, etc etc. the cars with drivers still in the cars are all... aghast. I don’t really have a response so I just look him in the eye and shrug my shoulders largely so he sees my movement and continue to get out of my car.
He starts GOING OFF! Yelling and bellowing. I can tell he has a uniform on, a pilot uniform, but I can’t tell rank or anything, but I just lock the car and start walking to the area to get my son. This guy peels out of his car and starts running toward me all the while yelling. I haven’t looked at him, I wait till he gets close and whirl on him, bring myself to full height so I’m bigger than he is (I’m the dad in this situation, squaring up against this other “father”), and just yell at him to mind his own business, stop making a scene, and get back into his car. I then realize he is a full bird Colonel. He uses rank asking who I am, what unit I’m with, and he snaps a shot of my license plate, so I’m sure I’m going to get a call or talking to, possibly even lose my license... I ignore him, to the best of my ability, turn around and go get my son. Not my finest moment, but if I’m going to get in trouble, I want him to have to work for the information lol. I gave him nothing. After I get my boy, I see him walking to the front office and he glared at me as I went by him but at least he didn’t cuss me out in front of my son, which I definitely would have had a problem with as it’s neither professional or courteous to ball out a guy in front of his son.
What a piece of work. Thankfully I’m in civi’s, and it’s Friday after work hours, so hopefully he just loses steam and forgets about it till Monday. I won’t be back in until Wednesday of the week after next, so even if he wants to get me in trouble, I don’t have to come in for a while. But seriously, what a waste of oxygen... and a colonel who throws his rank around... doubly idiotic. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
IpFuuJuUETHSvXYeX3cCFhlsTVMhn6gP | b40ms4 | {
"description": "struggling with mother",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for struggling with mother? | Trigger: childloss, termination
I am almost 36 weeks with my "first" baby
In reality this is my 6th pregnancy, with 3 early losses. I have been a complete neurotic wreck.
Anyhow, my mother was quite nasty to me through my very first pregnancy, escaping an abusive relationship with sperm donor, and essentially from everyone around me I was coerced into terminating. And then completely ignored, to try and grieve and heal alone.
Forward through losses, turbulent relationships, moving in and out of my parental home, and eventually a confrontation at my parents which led to a psych ward stay. I moved out for the last time, got myself in a great position in life, and am about to meet this baby.
I had reached out to my grandma early on with HG (hyperemesis gravidarum), needing assistance to the hospital. My mother was with her, and found out about the pregnancy. Since, she has gone all sweet about our relationship, over the moon about this baby and her "finally" becoming a grandmother. Refusing to acknowledge any of the loss we talked about beforehand and then after this reveal.
I had friends wanting to throw me a baby shower; she has taken over all planning, hosting, and has invited her friends I don't even know (although I am still very grateful for the support). SO and I decided not to find out the gender of our baby. My friend is doing a fun "gender misreveal" cake pop treat, one woman she invited (I don't know her) wants to do a gender reveal cake, but BOOKED ME AN ULTRASOUND TO FIND OUT THE GENDER PRE CONSULTATION and then mom makes me reach out to this stranger to tell her no.
Then, she's telling me how she wants to take my newborn for chiropractic care, preaching how it made such a difference in mine and my siblings lives. Which, sure, it may have, but I am feeling railroaded before this child is even born.
I don't even have the heart yet to tell her that she will not be in the room for delivery with me, as I've been having awful flashbacks about being driven to the hospital to terminate.. and I just don't feel I need that stress when I'm trying to hopefully have my first living baby. I feel as though she assumes she will be there. I am stressed about the dynamic of the relationship, and I am stressed about her trying to push her ideals on my brand new baby and my life, which has done best when she is not in it. AITA?! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rLDkZqtuH87XUharpfXIaR2LOlRNKsVs | anocfa | {
"description": "getting mad at a friend about STD's",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at a friend about STD's? | I have a female friend (let's call her A) with whom I've had sex with regularly and I've had sex with another girl friend (she'll be B) too, of course regarding sex things I'm way too cautious so I wear condoms with both of them.
Anyways, A sent my a message today asking me if I wanted to see her and I told her no because I didn't feel like it and I was working, so she got like "yeah, OK...". Fast-forward two hours she sent me another message asking if I had sex with someone else because she had her annual analysis and something was "off". The first thing I ask is if she's preggo and she says no, but she tells me that her doctor asked her to have an HPV test because of the results she had. So I'm like "oh shit" and thanked her for letting me know and that I'll tell B to get some tests too just to be safe.
Then, A starts going bananas (or at least that's how I felt it), telling me that if I trust all my sexual partners and "I know I'm taking care, what about them?" and of course I get defensive because it feels like she's telling me I can't take care of my health and that I'm banging sick people without caring. Then she nags me about not wanting to see her earlier and that how else would she get sick if it wasn't for me, and I recall she told me she was seeing her ex before we started hooking up so I told her what if it was your ex. She got all mad and started again with the same thing about my other sexual partner.
At the end she told me that her platelets came low in the test so HPV was an option, but I confronted her for trying to blame me before fully explaining the whole situation and she got mad again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
tAqO4P5nrawp0JjEDJccxf7Z982qoK8q | aczbsf | {
"description": "being upset at my family for stealing my name",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset at my family for stealing my name? | My aunt asked my mother if her newborn son (my cousin) could "borrow" my name... As in be named the same FIRST, MIDDLE, and LAST name as me... She (without asking me) said yes and now there are two people in my family with the same exact fricking name. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
6xetbt9eAnYjBtnsii8z0hQIbyNhFk3W | ahl8pq | {
"description": "not covering rent",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not covering rent | This hasn't happened yet but I wanna know if I'm potentially going to be an ass. My girlfriend of 5 years just broke up with me. We had both singed a year long lease, but we ended up moving out when I got a well paying job in another province, and she moved in with a friend in her school program. She had plans to transfer schools close to me so we could live together again so I said I'd handle the entirety of the rent at the old spot. She broke up with me last night because she wants to be on her own for a while. The rent payment for the month is due in a few days. I'm telling her tonight that I'm not covering her rent anymore. Am I being a pointlessly vindictive ass or am I somewhat justified? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
PA1XvQMOO5Tu5beJiYYCTuH1mryYSy0Z | arnqwg | {
"description": "not taking gf out to Dinner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Not Taking GF Out To Dinner? | As of December my company went under and I got laid off from my job and haven't had any significant income coming into the house for close to 2 months now because of it. I recently decided to lower my standards a bit and take a lower level job than what I've been working the past few years just as a way to get some income and stop stressing about the money so much. I say stressing about the money because my GF got used to me paying for all of both our living expenses since she works min wage serving jobs and I've been making around 5-6x what she makes so I didn't mind covering things like rent, food expenses, etc. while she really only has to spend on her car payment and gas.
​
Anyways with Valentines being the other day and me just having started a new job the week before she seemed to expect me taking her out to a fancy dinner like I normally would've done, when I had very little left over in savings and wanted to be able to make rent instead of being short and needing to take out a loan just to go out one night. Keep in mind, even with me being unemployed the past few months, I haven't got a single cent from her towards any living expenses because "she doesn't make enough" and "I have savings I can use to cover this while I job hunt". Now I take some of the responsibility for not being completely responsible and having a ton in savings like I should've but regardless I still carry my own weight and stay able to do so.
​
Fast forward to last night and we get into a big argument because she came home at 3am saying she was with a few friends who took her out to dinner because they felt bad "her lazy bf" wouldn't take her out for a dinner on Valentines, trying to make me feel like a piece of shit for keeping a roof over our heads since she wasn't contributing anything to it and I'm not trying to go under over a dinner when the first of the month rolls around.
​
I feel like worrying about my financial health is a bigger priority than any hallmark holiday but you guys tell me, AITA or am I acting within reason for prioritizing personal finance over a date night? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
paXkRLcjIc8xteqtiHM9JJNrlsuwjOzq | b6l4u5 | {
"description": "cutting in front of someone when a new register opened",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for cutting in front of someone when a new register opened? | One day I went to a big box store and only ended up with a squeegee. The lines were long but I wasn't in a rush so I waited. There were maybe 8 people in front of me.
A register opens to the right and some people from the front of my line have moved over. This guy with a large cart of items in front of me hasn't moved, perhaps deciding to stay on our current line. After maybe 10 seconds I started to walk towards the other line.
As I was walking past, he started pushing his cart but I end up in front of him since I walk fast and am unencumbered by large items. Of course, he gets annoyed and makes a comment towards me:
Guy: Oh c'mon
Me: (Turns around) Sorry, I only have 1 item
Guy: So what?
Guy's wife: It's ok, just let her go
I probably could've been more assertive and responded with, "I thought you wanted to stay on the other line when you didn't move." But I'm not that type of person.
My husband meets me on the line and ask if I wanted any chocolate that was right by the checkout but I declined since I'm sure the guy behind would've made a fuss.
This has always been one of those situations that make me SO mad whenever I think back on it because I felt like I should've stood up for myself a little better...
But was I being the asshole first for possibly cutting him in line? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Y8ePi8LGOlukvmXWiud4gmnVqNUs5kWO | an4utk | {
"description": "excluding a friend from my supper parties for mocking our food",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for excluding a friend from my supper parties for mocking our food? | HELLO PROBATIVE PROCTOLOGISTS!
I am poor. I recently had a small windfall of $5k, which I have saved $3.5k, spent $1k on stuff I really desperately needed (new shoes, repairs) and put aside $500 for me to spend freely on enjoyable stuff just for me.
Because i am poor, and have been for some time, I have long had "supper parties", where i make a few dishes at home, and my equally poor millenial friends come over and we have a kind of potluck netflix night. My ONLY rules Ive set down for these supper parties are:
* good vibes only.
* no spending over $10 on your supper dish
* if you don't have a kitchen or can't bring a dish, bring at a smile, bring an ingredient, and help clean 4 dishes in the sink before you go.
* HOMEMADE FOOD ONLY
I started these because I couldnt go out because I am so painfully broke. A year has gone and these rules have worked out PERFECTLY. I have about 15 people over every 2 weeks, my little shitty apartment gets spotlessly clean when the night is over, and everyone has a good time.
Enter Marlame. Marlame is a friend of mine who I recently invited. Marlame is as poor as the rest of us, but 4 parties ago, Marlame brought store-bought cookies, violating Rule 4. I was really nice about it, but told her next time to make something OR do some dishes.
Next party comes around... she buys 4 pizzas. UHMMM.. NO. Rule 4 violation AGAIN. AND WORSE-- others began to bring store-bought stuff, taking Merlane's lead. Again. I was gracious and told her not to do it again.
Next party: she pulls the same shit. It was worse now. When I ask folks to bring an ingredient, at the end of the night, my supper parties usually end with us all making some kind of franken-food from the ingredients people bring over. It has been amazing, usually tasty, and cheap fun. Since Merlane has broken rule 4, however, people attending have slacked off and just gotten stuff from the store and kind of killed off this part of the party.
At that party, I politely reminded everyone of the 4 basics. Next party, everything was back on track! Marlame called me to ask how many people would be at the next party so she could order Chipotle Catering for everyone.
I gave her a hard NO and told her not to come at all. Her presence since she started coming to supper has made it LESS FUN. She keeps bitching to us all about how much stuff costs... then spends $50-100 every 2 weeks on her supper dish which she was instructed specifically not to do. Literally everyone at my suppers are legit poor as fuck recent college grads. No one wants or needs to hear that shit. The #1 reason Supper Night exists is I am poor, as are my friends, and we were JUST FINE making our own magic, sharing, and getting a little tipsy together *for as little money as is humanly possible*.
Marlane also chewed me out and started posting to social media claiming I excluded her because she was fat blah blah blah... i mean she IS fat. I am very thin due to poverty and not having a car, I am not on a diet.... unless by diet you mean "eating maximum colories possible within budget" which isn't much.
Supper happened this weekend. Nobody missed Marlame. Supper was mostly back to its normal thing. Marlame spammed known attendees while they were at my place, and we all had a laugh at her expense in real time. SHE was messaging US. We were all in one place, and she was spouting bullshit, so while we did, as a group, mock her... she literally spend an entire friday night spamming 15+ people's social media and Instas about this drama... that she created.... and what else are drunk folks, all in a room, getting spammed by the same person, gonna do other than mock her??
AITA for putting a hard NO MARLAME rule in place at the next supper party? I mean no talking about her, referencing her, inviting her, discussing her, NOTHING. I just want this drama to end so we can go back to enjoying supper as a group.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5FZv9dsn853C7f0vudwFNqE3Dg5JiLeM | awkum3 | {
"description": "breaking it off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For breaking it off? | am i the asshole for thinking about breaking it off?
​
My girlfriend of almost 2 years is hanging out with her two friends(Jake and maria who are a couple) that stole 600+ dollars from me and both got fired from jobs i got them
(one fired for missing money(300$) from register/harassing female coworkers and the other stopped showing up without saying anything)
In December 2017 i confronted them about it all which they denied all of. My girlfriend and i agree to stop talking them and block them on everything due to the immature and nasty things being said. proceed to a few months ago Maria shows up to my girlfriends work to apologize. both agree to stop being angry about it. I tell my girlfriend i don't see me ever being friends with them or wanting to be around them again she agrees that she's not going to be hanging out with them anymore either due to being bad influences(bad spending habits, not focusing while at work by being distracting )
Fast forward to this week where my girlfriend starts posting new pictures of her hanging out with Maria. Starts acting different again dumping money on unnecessary items even though she wants to move into an apartment in the next 8 months together and we've talked about being more financially stable for this move.
what gets at me most is she always ask where i am or what i'm doing. but she didn't tell me that she was hanging out with them again? just feels like broken trust when she knows how i feel about them | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yM3S3xa5KAczbUeMLy37USH83uXUwQxR | a0427k | {
"description": "trying to ghost a kid",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AItA? Trying to ghost a kid. | AItA? Ok so in high school I hung out with this kid I’m gonna call Conor. Conor and I weren’t close, barely more than acquaintances. After we graduated we didn’t see each other for a solid year or so. Every so often I’d see him when we both hung out with our home friends when we came back from college. Never alone together, never growing close.
As we get older I only ever see Conor at parties involving binge drinking. He always gets way more drunk than anyone else and picks fights and gets angry. He basically sucks to be around.
So I throw a few of these parties over the last few years and every single time I see him he gets so drunk he can’t see straight then he asks me for his keys so he can drive home and “feed his dog” at 1 AM. I have never let him drive but now I just don’t want to be around the guy.
Like 2 months ago he sent me a bunch of drunk Snapchats talking about how he loves me and how I’m one of his best friends.
A week before Thanksgiving he texted me and asked me if we can get drunk together the Wednesday before. This is not the first time he’s asked me to get drunk with him during a school break since my last party but I just want nothing to do with him or his drinking habits.
I don’t answer his texts or snaps. Am I a dick? Should I be hanging out with the kid? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
a35nkepL6ApzUszfyjDMB2EfqMhow90j | atiram | {
"description": "wanting to isolate from my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Wanting to Isolate From My Family? | Background: I am twenty-three but live with my family while attending college. Our family has a rule: we can live within the house rent-free so long as we are either attending school or working. I pay for my books and classes.
​
Tuesday night, I became violently ill (TMI: nausea, diarrhea).
​
I do not have a gallbladder. I underwent surgery during high school to have it removed. I can typically bounce back from upset stomach but it worsened with aches, fatigue, no appetite, and continuous nausea. I remained home from classes on Wednesday and Thursday, notifying my professors on both days.
​
I texted my parents on Wednesday: please do not wake me up should I be asleep when you come home. I am so tired and so nauseous that I could scream.
​
My mom suffers with chronic pancreatitis and declared I have *no* idea what pain is.
​
I finally received test scores back from two different classes. Both were the first tests. I received a 72% on one -- with the professor explaining people do the worst on this one and including the other scores (C's were the majority).
​
Other score was an 82% -- which I am not proud. I know it can be better.
​
Her reaction was an immediate guilt trip, declaring this is what happens when you skip a week worth of school.
​
I literally could not sit through classes with my nausea. I was woken up by how bad it was. I could not be up for more than a few minutes without being dizzy.
​
I was allowed to makeup a missed assignment over e-mail. I check to see what was missed. I have been doing assignments when the illness allows. I ask other people what was missed and request to see their lecture notes.
​
"Yeah, but their notes compared to yours? Different thing."
​
I no longer want to share anything with her either positive or negative regarding school when it risks a guilt trip. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Z0rXxYE70LW2WaeIjbD67o0v5PzvlF7s | 9uj3ei | {
"description": "wanting my roommate to give up peanut butter",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for wanting my roommate to give up peanut butter? | So a little backstory, I've been allergic to peanuts for my entire life, but the severity of my allergy has significantly decreased. My family used to buy and use peanut butter anyways while I was younger, until I finally told them that the smell would make me nauseous and I'd prefer if they could switch to almond butter or another substitute (I'm not allergic to almonds). They complied and all was well, save for a few complaints from my sister.
Now I'm in college sharing an apartment with a friend of mine that loooves peanut butter and somehow always forgets I have an allergy (sometimes when we get groceries he buys bread with nuts on it and I have to go back and get my own afterwards). I told him the same thing I told my parents and he seemed upset about it, and cited the fact that he's allergic to pork but says he doesn't mind if I buy bacon, etc. ( I haven't bought any regardless just to be safe). He begrudgingly put the pb back on the shelf and that was that.
...until a day later when he came home from class with a jar of peanut butter. I told him I was upset about it and he couldn't understand why, since he said he will try and be careful to wash the knife and plate, and also doesn't care if I have pork even while he's there. I tried to explain that it's a different situation but he doesn't see it the same way.
Again, I haven't had a reaction while we've lived together, but just seeing peanut butter in the fridge and the few times he hasn't actually cleaned the mess has stressed me out. He has tried switching to almond butter but that lasted about a day, and he said he misses pb too much.
Since asking hasn't worked I resorted to trying to guilt him into giving it up by saying I will blame him if I do eventually have a reaction, mild or not.
AITA for continuing to push him to give up peanut butter?
TL;DR roommate loves peanut butter and I'm allergic, I try to make him quit eating it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
HGr6CnvKC7LvC1xxgyf5b15qbHLXCk5E | a8jm5w | {
"description": "telling my suicidal friend I didn't want to know her anymore",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my suicidal friend I didn't want to know her anymore? | My friend suffers from borderline personality disorder and depression. She was suicidal and checked herself into a psychiatric unit. I was visiting her frequently, but stopped fairly abruptly.
I suffer from schizophrenia and I was slipping back into psychosis at the time. The voices (which in my crappy mental state, I actually started listening to) convinced me to isolate myself. They told me what a dangerous, volatile person I am, and convinced me everyone would be better off without me.
I isolated myself from everyone, not just her. It took me months to pull myself out of that psychotic episode, and by the time I did, she had already deleted me on Facebook.
I know the voices weren't real (now), but they're hard to argue with when you're sick. I really regret what happened. I haven't contacted her since and was wondering, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yE56bJtnaylGcRKrPrtExzbtp02smCtt | a6jmvl | {
"description": "asking my sister if her 4 year old stole money",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my sister if her 4 year old stole money? | It's pretty cut and dry. Lately he's been caught taking money on a few seperate occasions, with the most so far been over a hundred pounds, he's even gone into people's pockets and taken notes without them knowing. Whenever we ask him why he does it he says he's trying to save up for a PS4.
Anyway, it's my other sisters sons birthday today. He comes through from the bedroom quite upset because he's lost q sizeable chunk of birthday money. He says he left it and the other boy was the only one who seen where he put it down. By this point my sister and her 4 year old had gone home, so I called her and asked if she could check if he had it. She got really upset about this and both her and her husband started shouting down the phone about how unfair the accusation was and so on. She demanded an apology and I refused, saying based on how often he has done this I thought it was only reasonable to ask. To save an argument I eventually relented and apologised, although they at no point actually mentioned whether it not they'd checked if he had it.
The time of year peer pressured me into what I feel was an unjustified apology, but it was something I did to avoid Christmas drama nonetheless. It's also noteworthy that it wasn't originally my assumption, it was my dad who first thought of it but he wasn't comfortable asking them, sonic was the one to make the call.
So Reddit, if I'm missing anything out you'd like to know please feel free to ask, but AITA in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1PLXNZd58ussNpl7UKCeQJ8RBjLDPht9 | b34ape | {
"description": "being pissed off that my new counterpart at my job asked for a day off that I wanted to take off",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being pissed off that my new counterpart at my job asked for a day off that I wanted to take off? | I’ve been in my position for 10 months now, my job is extremely demanding. I tend to work 10 hour days on average, have only taken one day off for my birthday in December.
I had been asking for a counterpart for awhile and my two bosses finally were able to hire someone! She seemed really promising but she’s about 3 weeks into the job and not exactly what I expected. With her hired, I thought I’d be able to have more flexibility with my hours. I asked her to please arrive at the office this week at 8:30 in the morning since I would be running a bit late (I usually aim to be in by 8:15.) I got in around 8:54 this AM and she still wasn’t there. Now I’m feeling a bit annoyed.
Then, I decide with my boyfriend to take a Friday and the following Monday off next month. I send an email to both of my managers, and get a reply back that my counterpart had already asked for that Monday off earlier in the day after she heard me talking with another colleague about taking those days off.Now I’m pissed. Maybe it’s my work ethic but I don’t understand how someone could be on the job less than a month and then show up late (not even just this morning) AND ask for time off already! One of us has to be in the office at all times, that’s the whole point of having two people working with our titles.
So, am I the asshole for getting upset and potentially speaking with my managers about her job performance thus far? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
GqfsHSgvqXfFkgaFqS4DwUVXjuu7Ai2J | b2993h | {
"description": "putting value in partner's social media choices",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for putting value in partner's social media choices | I've been with a guy for a year and a half. We've had our ups and downs, and in the beginning he dated someone else while I was with him, he stop dating me to date her. We got back together but I eventually found out about her through instagram, and the only way I confirmed it was by directly messaging the girl, he didn't fess up until that happened, he lied about it beforehand. I was more pissed about the lying because it we were just starting out and we weren't exclusive when that happened. Ok. I still feel ambivalent about my actions and his. We both didn't act right in that situation. We're getting better after 3 or so months, or so I thought. I still have my insecurities about him but I am trying my best to trust him. The thing is, to this day, he refuses to add me on instagram again. He also doesn't call me his girlfriend but says we are together. I just feel like we aren't on the same page about us. His refusal to add me on instagram, feels disrespectful. Am I the asshole for thinking that his actions in regards to him not adding me on instagram are just red flags and wrong on his part? I am not doing it to be superficial, I'm not asking him to add pictures of me, I don't have any of him but am I just supposed to be ok with not being friends on social media? His refusal just makes me feel like he's hiding something. I've told him how I feel about it but he keeps saying he'll think about it but after several months nothing has changed. I don't know who the asshole is in this situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PKVMv5DAgUWoxB4qtTPU2JGkXo5yU2wp | 9ypcoy | {
"description": "being frustrated with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being frustrated with my girlfriend? | We've been only texting because I've been away for training for a while. A lot of long day, not much time for calls. Military stuff. I've posted here once before.
Anyways, she has been taking small misunderstanding on my part, and just starting and arguement like I was personally attacking her. We'd clear the air and everytime and everytime, it could have been solved by simply asking her to ask me to reword, reread, or clarify a simple statement. She hasn't done that. I told her she needs to start being more rational about misunderstanding and not so emotional to avoid pointless arguements that's dont need to happen in the first place. She told me she has been struggling a lot with things in her daily life but hasn't told me what. I told her that didnt mean she couldn't vent about her day and problems, just to not take small misunderstandings as a personal attack. She still hasn't told me what it was. Am I an asshole? Have I done anything wrong? I'm really frustrated with her because she seems to be making this more difficult than it needs go be. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
obADPj3WTNWMADxdETBdJXtSg7PCiA18 | aeak4o | {
"description": "telling my gf not to message other men using intimate language",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my gf not to message other men using intimate language? | I read a text that my gf sent to a "friend" around the time we started dating. The message started "Hi my love!" and ended with a kissy face emoji. Months later (in the midst of our relationship) she messaged him again saying something like "our babies would be so blonde and cute" (the context of the convo was them discussing their hairstyles).
​
First, I'm having trouble believing this person is just a friend, but she insists. WIBTA if I tell my gf to stop talking to other men this way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
DFBfQwnjeuRJ9RL0Z3VKwI5CxxApI8Oz | b82mo6 | {
"description": "specifically requesting no children younger than 16 be at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 68,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA If I specifically request no children younger than 16 be at my wedding? | My gf and I were discussing this and its something I think about a lot. I'm not fond of kids at the best of times, but god help anyone that would bring a young child to our special day. I mostly have a problem with the parents as the kids cant really help it, but if you decide that you're too important for a babysitter and decide to bring a child that doesnt respect the sanctity of a wedding, then would I be the asshole if I requested that said person leave? The wedding would not be for years to come but theres nothing that fills me with more anger than a screaming brat breaking any sort of special moment my SO and I would be sharing and spoiling everyone elses time. I already tell that my mother will be wholeheartedly opposed to this, but its not her day. Would it be bad to put this on the invitations? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 68,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
YOT97PvZSU2VMQRWXW13gTk32rW7UW8q | af7e5m | {
"description": "not wanting to go skiing with my father because I want to use my weekends to give my body rest",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go skiing with my father because i want to use my weekends to give my body rest | I'm 17 M and living with my father and my sister.
Now i work in a kitchen from 9-2 and then from 6-10. I rarely get my 8 hours of sleep and my father wanted to go skiing. He knows that i work rly hard and i told him that u barely get the sleep i need and he says as an excuse that hes sleeping 5 hours a day bc he works from 5am-10pm.
He's 50 and in my opinion it's his decision to work that long because hes self employed and he does what he loves for work...
I mean i'm still in puberty and i guess it's science that i need more rest than him.
AITA? Or is it just a dumb excuse? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WuKdtlTVFiuWYbQ8L5aIMFIHLA0O7MW0 | a58j74 | {
"description": "yelling at a guy bursting firecrackers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for yelling at a guy bursting firecrackers? | So I had taken my dog out for a walk and there was this guy bursting really loud firecrackers. They were the really loud kind, and its like 10 in the night. It pissed me off because it startled my dog who's sensitive to loud noises, so I just kind of looked at him hoping he'd stop. He didn't, he just went on bursting them.
That's when I kind of lost my cool and asked him if the pollution wasn't enough already?
He's like no, it's not that bad.
I yelled back at him, Really?? Is it not that bad??
He went inside his house after that.
I kind of feel like an asshole for yelling at him. I was in a bad mood already and I'm worried that I might have taken it out at him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
G5ackQCJEqd0UhFH7BPRkerfZJj4U5vD | asmqro | {
"description": "throwing out my mom's rice cake",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for throwing out my mom's rice cake? | So my mom has been sick the past few days and I just took her to the doctor's office. We come home and I bring out some of this rice cake stuff that we had from new year's. I was cutting it when I realized it had gotten a little moldy on the side. I prepare to cut off that part and then throw it in the pan just to be safe. However, my mom interjects and says she'll do it. She slices a thing slice off, just enough to get the layer of mold off. I tell her that we should cut off a bigger chunk just to be safe as well as saying the microwave doesn't heat evenly so it's not really cooking everything-we should throw it in the pan to be safe. She says it's fine and she already cut off the mold, see? I repeat my concern at which point she says I can eat however I want but she's fine with this. I tell her I'm more worried about her since she's old and sick, thus more susceptible; I'm young so I'll likely be fine regardless. It's at this point that she tells me I'm talking too much and I should shut my mouth.
Now some background. When my mom thinks she's right, your opinion doesn't matter anymore. Doesn't matter what you say or how much you prove her wrong. Also, she has a tendency to disparage and say pretty hurtful things when she's angry (personal attacks). She's not a bad person but has some flaws.
I get pretty mad but I just stew over it. However, it starts up again and I tell her to just be quiet and go do her own thing. This sets her off and she launches into a tirade of how she can say whatever she wants because she's my mom but I have no right to say it back. It escalates until I decide to get revenge on the rice cake. I take it out and throw it on the floor. She threatens to eat it anyways so to ensure she doesn't (and she's not eating food off the ground just to prove a point) I step in it and then throw it away. Now she's saying I just destroyed our entire relationship. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
juIFq381t74xW8bDwkQmIfybZlpVhQT2 | apigvi | {
"description": "refusing to make my coworker tea",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for refusing to make my coworker tea? |
Myself and a coworker that I sit with in my office take it in turns to make each other tea, as is required by British social conventions/proper office etiquette. The dispute stems from the fact that he has what I would describe as a serious problem in the sense that he seemingly needs a cup of tea every ten minutes to live. I myself go through about 4 a day.
This has led the the expectation from him that I should stop what I'm doing, get up from my desk and go make him a cuppa every other time he wants one.
In my mind if I've been the last one to make us both a cup then when it gets round to me wanting another It's still his turn to make the round, all the extra cups he's made for himself in between are superfluous.
We're both quite stubborn on this matter which has led to him putting his mug on my desk and constantly pestering me to make him tea whenever he feels like it's my turn and me normally refusing until one of us breaks.
Need a resolution to this dispute as I'm considering bailing out of the tea round all together and resorting to only ever making tea for myself. I hope it doesn't come to that as that would be the cold heartless world where everyone just looks out for themselves that the communists want but that I refuse to live in.
What are your guys thoughts? Who's in the right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ZP9bh0otlWpRGmyzZYMC45bWNm9mmSun | b3krox | {
"description": "telling my cousin his girlfriend is crazy",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my cousin his girlfriend is crazy? | So, my cousin (M20) has been dating this girl (F18) since high school and since then she’s been VERY abusive. I’m talking hitting him, pouring bleach on things, threatening to kill him AND our family, etc etc. He was done with her for good but she’s now pregnant and he wants to be there for her. My grandmother particularly thinks this is a good idea and considers her “family”.
Recently my family and some friends went out for vacation and gf went with, we were away for a week. She kept mostly to herself, refused to come out her room and bossed my cousin around. By Wednesday she started making threats and throwing cue balls at my cousin(she missed every throw so he’s ok!). After I had heard there was some arguments going on, myself and my family had occupied the room her and my cousin were in. She left, not wanting to bully him around his family.
Myself and my bf tried to talk to my cousin, saying he needs to get rid of her and to possibly try to get custody of his kid whenever the baby comes. He agreed that he wants to get away from her but was also very protective of her. Saying she’s “not crazy”, “this is how she loves me” “she’s just making sure I’m not talking to any girls”. It was really sad hearing this. I let it go then and went on with my vacation.
Now it’s been about two weeks since our vacation and I found out from my mom that gf has broken into my aunt’s home and damaged some of her belongings, my younger cousins belongings, and her boyfriend’s belongings. Considering this isn’t the first time this happened, something inside me snapped. I sent my cousin a text saying to get rid of her and that she won’t stop.
He argued back saying it’s none of my business and that they’re meant for each other
I was speechless but told him to leave his crazy ass girlfriend and stop keeping her around. I left it at that.
I later get a call from my grandma saying that was inappropriate and to not make a pregnant woman cry. Idk how she knew that’s what I said but I had to live with it. I argued back that my cousin shouldn’t put up with gf and she IS crazy. My grandma reiterated to not say that and it’s rude.
TLDR: Cousin’s gf is abusive and kinda crazy. I called her crazy to my cousin. Grandma thinks I was out of line.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PUJ4dz2psXy0WkfjeqieTgn7DaAsW2Iu | awyggk | {
"description": "not going to my niece's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to my niece's wedding? | My niece got engaged on Valentines day, she is getting married the end of April. We are very close to their family, closer than any of her other Aunts and Uncles. Her dad is in the military, and we happened to live close to them a couple places where they were stationed, and did a lot of holidays with just our two families. However, they live far away right now, and the wedding is a several hour plane ride away. I only have 2 personal days at work, and it will use up at least one, and maybe both of them.
But the most important point is that I am not allowed to go to the wedding. She is mormon, I am not any longer. So I will sitting outside while the wedding takes place. I will be able to go to the reception, which will be an open house affair. My husband, who can attend the wedding, is planning on going. I doubt that I will have any time with her at the reception, or before or after the wedding, of course it is her and her husband's day and they will be busy.
My argument is that I don't need to travel 1,500 miles to not attend a wedding. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wzOMP7BQUuT6Ig9CKcy4TPx2DVXVGbjs | ar1f3e | {
"description": "getting angry over the stuff my mum buys me even tho I tell her I dont need it but she buys it anyway",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry over the stuff my mum buys me even tho I tell her I dont need it but she buys it anyway? | Don't know how else to explain this so I ll give a quick example.
Recently I asked my mum if she could go to a furniture shop with me because I would like to get another shelf for my room since it's fairly small and I slowly run out of space.
I told her that I would buy it myself and that i need it bc otherwise my stuff would just be lying around on the ground. She agreed and since my birthday was coming up she would pay for it.
-one week later-
I get a knock on my roomdoor and my parents come in with 2 packages.
First thing they did was complaining that there was no room to unpack them.
(For the next bit I have to say that i'm not picky. I would have accepted anything that gave me room to store my stuff)
Turns out that instead of a shelf my mom bought me an armchair and a small bystander table for my room.
My room is now completely out of space and I can't even buy a shelf anymore since it would not fit.
It makes me angry but they had good intensions (?)
Stuff like that always happen so I even stopped asking for help becasue I know Im better of without them interfering
Now I want to know. Am I just ungrateful and over sensitive or am I in the right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sNQr5cCIHy62clig31749YbB7gJ32Q6F | as2pw3 | {
"description": "demanding professionalism from a Co-Worker",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Demanding Professionalism From A Co-Worker | Here at my job we have multiple departments under the same banner, I feel this is probably similar to many places.
One of the employees under a different department has decided she wants to migrate from her current one to working in mine.
I am not setting myself us the praetorian guard of professionalism, but I try and do my best.
The head of this other department has not only chided me, but is chiding the switching employee and gabbing and gossiping about the switching employee to other members of the staff.
I confronted the head of this other department today and told her to take it up with the ‘big boss upstairs’ because her behavior is disgusting and unprofessional.
She runs out the door and breaks down crying and begins to call the other department heads about how I am a giant piece of shit.
So, without the context of the rest of my career here, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mQLzjymj7o3Vu98tSAIm5tkVRixXzYRv | ba7jqj | {
"description": "refusing a rent increase",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing a rent increase | My partner (23f) and I (27m) have been living in our apartment for 2 years, going on 3. Our landlord has given us a letter notifying the increase of rent (2.5%), which was slightly higher than last year's (2%). We agreed on the increase during the previous year as to not create any animosity. However, this year we decided to decline the rent increase due to our landlord not doing any work in our unit since we have moved in, and also ghosting on us when we needed them. Our building is slowly degrading with multiple leaks in the hallway and holes that have not been covered up after work has been done.
​
First thing we have noticed is that he only gave us a letter to accept the increase and omitted the part where we would either reject the increase or terminate our lease once it ended. We had to print out the form ourselves and mail it to him. Once he received the letter he wanted to meet with us to discuss why he was increasing the rent and negotiate. He did not follow up on us to meet after we gave him our availabilities and explained to him how we were only home during evenings and weekends due to both of us having full-time jobs.
​
After a few days of our last email to him, he called both of us during the day. I called him back during my lunch break and he listed a few reasons that contributed towards the increase. His reasons were the increase in salary for his employees, having to replace some pipes in the building after they had burst, apartments being taxed more than duplexes (with no proof), refusing to send us how he calculated our rent increase and proposing that we come to his office to see his bills, and explaining how he added a few extra dollars as a buffer for himself.
​
He attempted to guilt me by using an analogy of how he was an employee asking for a raise from his boss for doing good work and that if the boss were to refuse his proposal, he would feel like his work had no value. For as long as we have been here, he has not done any work in our unit. There have been times where he has not given us notice before contractors entered our apartment. The first time our lightbulb needed to be changed, he sent someone over without our knowledge, who then told us to contact him whenever future lightbulbs needed changing. We attempted to contact our landlord about borrowing a ladder to reach them when our hallway and bedroom light bulbs burnt out, but he never responded to either of us, which lead to us having to invest in a ladder.
​
After speaking to him on the phone, we sent him an email proposing an increase of 1/4 of what he offered. He responded with how our proposal was insulting and asking if his offer was insulting to us and came across as very rude and unprofessional. He asked us to reconsider or else he would get the rent fixed from the administration in charge of rental housing. We stayed firm to our proposal and he has not replied to us since.
​
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7FJcM0ctaPaN8z5A8sPlRuHFnKE0rEU2 | ay228f | {
"description": "not letting my roommate make out with their bf",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my roommate make out with their bf? | for context, i live in a dorm that’s three bedrooms connected to a central living room. i directly share a bedroom with my roommate.
so my roommate started dating a guy back in october and they soon developed a habit of regularly asking me to sit out in the living room so they could have the bedroom to make out in (i know for a fact theyre just making out and not having sex). they were pretty bad with boundaries at first, but we set some ground rules (weren’t allowed past 10:30 pm, had to let my cat stay in the room if he wanted, etc) and they respected them... but i was still miserable.
now every time they were technically asking me to leave, but ive never successfully been able to say no. whenever i say no they get pouty and there’s an awkward tension in the room until i change my mind. i also feel guilty saying no because they dont have anywhere else to go; their bf had to get a restraining order against his roommate it’s so bad and his living room constantly has people filing in and out. but ours doesnt; we only have one other roommate and he’a fairly quiet so they would have some privacy if they used the living room. last week our third roommate went on a trip so it was just me and my roommate; they invited their bf over and kicked me out even though they literally would have had the same amount of privacy in the living room as they would in the bedroom bc i was the only other person in the dorm. i tried to say no because being kicked out means i have to lug all my stuff out there and their only argument was that the couch was “uncomfortable”
but i end up out on the couch again and so that night when im allowed back in the room i told my roommate i was done with getting kicked out. they agreed right away, so i didnt really get to articulate this, but essentially i had two points: 1) im paying thousands of dollars in rent to get kicked out whenever my roomie feels like it 2) this isnt solving the problem so much as transferring it to me. im an introvert with anxiety so the room is my safe space and being kicked out is stressful for me
i still feel bad because they dont have anywhere else to go. our living room is fairly private but sometimes our third roommate will have friends over and it gets rowdy. AITA for prioritizing myself over them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
NGEWQbqDoO63T2C2tJ0fjHJ0b21J1Wqc | a1du3h | {
"description": "no longer being in love with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for no longer being in love with my boyfriend? | Before him, I had never really been treated with love and respect in a relationship. He made me feel loved and cared for and now it's not doing anything for me and I feel like I need more. AITA for wanting to leave him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
itDAjoUy7LdJNd0j3hcWQ5x26F1CmxPl | aj0jnt | {
"description": "joking and asking my sister \"if it's her time of the month\"",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 35
} | AITA(14M) for joking and asking my sister(16F) "if it's her time of the month" | So me and my older sister are never serious with each other. So last night me and my twin sister were in the living playing on the xbox one cuase my mom makes us keep it in the living room so she can use the blu ray player on it. So were sitting there playing dark souls 3 and my older sister comes up flops on the couch next to us and takes a pillow and screams into it. Then my twin sister says " what's wrong" and my older sister just keeps her face in the pillow. Then I say "what is it your time of the month" and both of my sisters start yelling at me saying shit like "what the fuck you never ask a girl that you have 6 sisters you should know that already" and more stuff like that I said I'm just joking and there still mad at me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 35
} | WRONG |
JKAuV69cX5ThNEjiyfsnAYRPFpyRjp6Z | a1w9op | {
"description": "not tipping a delivery driver who was super late",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA: for not tipping a delivery driver who was super late? | AITA: We ordered pizza from the Domino's arround the corner. We used the online app. We placed our order and watched each notification on the cool pizza tracker. The guy left the store at about 6:40pm. According to Google maps we live 1 minute drive time from the store. I tested it at 29 seconds to drive. The guy did not deliver the food for over half an hour after it says he left the store. We left instructions in the procided section on how to call us if they could not get in our building. There is an intercom out front that will call our cell phones. No possible way to get the number wrong. He said that he was there for a while trying to get in but the number is wrong. I had even waited out front for 10 min when it said he left the store. It was raining and I wanted to be there so they would not have to wait .Nobody was there so I finally went back inside. He finally shows up and I take the food, say thanks and signed for the bill. I gave no tip. I felt bad because I understand that they mostly work for tips in service jobs. I don't like to stiff people who are helping me. I also think that tips is literally an acronym for (to insure prompt service). We did not get prompt service. We got slow service and what seems to be a lie to cover thier ass. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
mjDiluDogx3zo8yYlIOYGCzPbADkb8Fj | an629z | {
"description": "not taking care of my roommates dog",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not taking care of my roommates dog? | My roommate and best friend (basically brother to me) has had a german shepard for about a year now. He got her when she was about 3 weeks old and drove 2 states away and back to buy her. At first he took care of her in the best of ways. About a month in I could see him starting to lose focus of her, he had a full time job. And I would help with the basics, feeding and taking her out etc. Then he got another part time on top of his full time. I told him it wasnt a good idea since he already spent minimal time with the dog. Eventually I ended up doing most of the caring for the dog, and he realizes he has to get rid of her but constantly changes his mind about it. I've stopped looking after the dog because the more I do the less he does. So there are days where I feel the dog is neglected. Is it wrong for me to do that? I feel bad mostly for the dog. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
keBGoUJcudSwN8FUktP5KSKaqtcGQmCl | ay0oc2 | {
"description": "not informing my twins about their birth order",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 25
} | AITA for not informing my twins about their birth order? | I am the father of 11 yo twins. My twins don't know who the "older" brother is, because we didn't tell them. We believe the birth order of twins is completely irrelevant--they were born mere minutes apart, after all. Somewhat predictably, my sons are somewhat upset by that, and they keep asking me about it, despite our 11 yo old silence on the matter.
Telling A that he is technically older could make him feel smug or evoke protective feelings towards his "little brother". I don't want an essentially meaningless and irrelevant fact to affect their relationship.
Needless to say, once they're fully grown adults I'll tell them who the "older" brother is, because by then they should be mature enough to realise that their birth order has no impact on anything.
Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 25
} | RIGHT |
usLanl6PmWenfz7KALKLljnEKcRb768q | auz7sa | {
"description": "my mate getting in trouble with his parents",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For my mate getting in trouble with his parents | So basically my mate asked me to take care of his gold fish while he went camping. I gladly decided to do so because I know how much his family means to him and that he doesn’t want to get in trouble. While he was gone I stayed over fed the fish everyday and got my self some food to eat. I would always clean up after myself and make sure I wouldn’t leave any mess
He came back after the weekend and thanked me. I continued to hand out with him for a while until his sister came home. I was very aware that I did not make any mess what so ever. Not even a stain. But when his sister comes back she lies to him.
She gets angry because I used there novelty toilet paper cause I couldn’t find anything else. The place was spotless I mean I even came over before she arrived to help him clean every single bit and it was spotless. She blamed me for every single thing that happend that I diddent do and have proof of.
His parents come home and his sister cries to them now we have a falling out. He said that it’s my fault and blames me for the stain. I made sure there wasn’t any and if I did accidentally make one I would pay for damage or clean it myself.
His sister also accused me of stealing but when my mate called his mum she took what they thought I stole with them.
I told him “your sister is the biggest fucking asshole for accusing me of this when I have done nothing but help you and your sister out.”
Am I The Asshole for saying that? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yzVwqmVsdXPjCWUzW95W8Y8kKCcMBtYH | abo1yj | {
"description": "not wanting to share my potential lottery winnings with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for not wanting to share my potential lottery winnings with my boyfriend? | My boyfriend drove us to a gas station tonight to purchase Mega Millions tickets. I was joking around saying that I was going to win. He said that if I did win, he would expect me to give him a couple million dollars just for driving me to the store. I laughed and said I wouldn’t give him any money if I won. He was flabbergasted by my response. I don’t see what the big deal is. I would certainly not expect him to give me any money if he won. AITA for not wanting to share? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
lTy8byLLtB5P8sOrO81p9xcj4ZEKLZ8o | aanrah | {
"description": "missing my brother's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for missing my brother's wedding? | This situation is over a year old but things have still been not good between us since.
To set the scene, I'm at uni right now studying in a field that requires typically 2 years work experience (usually unpaid) to gain a shot at a junior position, post graduation. My degree offered a placement work year that meant I could get a student loan to fund my living costs while gaining that all-important experience.
A few years prior, my mother (who lives \~3 hours away from me) has some heart trouble. I do what I can to look after her, collecting her from the hospital, making the 6 hour round trip when I can to cut her hair or help her when she's had trouble working the mobile phone I got her (she's a technophobe, bless her).
One of my brother's announces he's getting married. I'm happy for him, his now-wife is a great person and I think they are perfect together! Only snag is, they set the wedding smack in the middle of the summer my placement year starts. I had been offered an internship overseas at a company that could give me very useful experience and great connections for the future.
They made it very clear when they wanted me to start, which was before the wedding, and the minimum term I should work there. They had a plan in place to help me settle in the non-English speaking environment and for both parties to gain from the arrangement. Miss that and I couldn't go at all, with nothing else lined up for that period. The company was situated far enough that flying back for a day or two was completely unaffordable for me.
I eventually break the news to my now-SIL that I wouldn't be able to make it. She tells me my brother will be devastated and I apologise, saying I wished I could be there but there wasn't anything I could do. I hoped they would understand that this is my career and I take it extremely seriously.
Instead of telling me he is upset that I can't make their wedding, my brother brings up our mother's health and basically says "How can you move away when your mother is seriously ill?"
While I can completely understand him being unhappy at me for missing his wedding, using our mother's health like this felt like emotional blackmail. When people try to corner me I come out fighting, so I told him it was wrong of him to say this when I knew more and did more about her condition than he ever did. Communication has all but shut down between us. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
c2MwhUVnSrCIlUrDwYkk58agOwjBvJAH | apy989 | {
"description": "cold-shouldering the kid who takes out the trash at my office",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for cold-shouldering the kid who takes out the trash at my office? | So there's this kid who comes in every day to empty the trash bins at each of our desks in our office. He seems like a nice enough kid, but he's like...aggressively friendly. He sees some of the toys and collectibles around my desk and tries to engage me in conversation about them..."Oh, hey, Star Wars, cool...did you see the new ones? What did you think?" To which I say "Yep" and "they're cool." Normally I have way more to say about Star Wars, but I just don't want to engage with this kid. I feel like he's trying too hard to be friends. Even to the point of telling me about his weekend plans totally unprovoked..."Hey man, I'm going to see that new Dragonball Z movie tomorrow..." which is weird because there isn't anything remotely anime related on my desk...but I guess he just figures I'm into geeky shit in general, which I pretty much am, but not Dragonball...anyway, I digress. My response to that line was just a brief, "I really don't know anything about Dragonball". That's basically the rudest or most curt that I've been to him. Otherwise I've always just said "hello" and "thanks" whenever he collects the trash.
Other people in my department are far more friendly and talk to him a lot more. And then I get the feeling that they're silently judging me for not asking him how his gaming YouTube channel is going.
I just don't really feel like making a new friend I guess. And I would engage more with someone else, I just feel like with this guy I'm opening a door to someone who's going to think I'm his buddy when I really don't want to be. But I can't say that without hurting feelings, right? Plus, without knowing his exact age, if I had to guess I'd say I'm easily 10 years older than he is, maybe 15.
Like, I guess I'm being kind of a dick to him, but not really, I'm just not going out of my way to be friendly. And it's not because he's the kid who empties the trash. That has nothing to do with it. I was super friendly with the last guy who did that. But I also never felt like there was a possibility of that person asking me if I wanted to get lunch together or anything, which I don't ever want to do with just about anyone I work with. I'm just not that guy.
I don't know...am I the asshole for just nipping this in the bud by putting up a wall now instead of just being polite in a situation where I think it might be misconstrued as an invitation for friendship? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
GU23eNAjaSUej2DAK8Q5J1DoV4d0qCeF | b9g95o | {
"description": "telling off somebody who was begging for change",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling off somebody who was begging for change? | So I was at the grocery store earlier this week just getting a few things, and this whole situation happened.
​
As I was paying for my stuff (with cash), I noticed a guy near the exit who looked homeless. As I'm walking back to my car to leave, this guy catches up to me and asks if I could spare him a few bucks. I straight up told him no, and he responds to me, "c'mon man, I saw you put some cash back in your wallet when we were in the store." This really rubbed me the wrong way, and our conversation was something along the lines of this:
​
Me - "So you were inside waiting for a person to pay cash, so you could ask them for money?"
​
Guy - "I just happened to notice you were paying cash as I was leaving, and was hoping you could help a man going through a rough time."
​
Me - "No, I think it's creepy of you to follow me to my car and ask me for money that you saw me get back from the cashier."
​
Guy - "c'mon man, you have no idea what I'm going through."
​
Me - "Well you have no idea what kind of things I might be going through, maybe I need this money just as much as you do."
​
After that I got in my car and left. I was telling my roommate about what had happened, he said that I'm dick... What do you all think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
R3uCEbdT8chRboEdDfawqkiwSFQVxfvq | aycawp | {
"description": "not coming to take MY dress and WOULDN'T pay the tailor",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA IF I WOULDN'T COME TO TAKE MY DRESS AND WOULDN'T PAY the tailor??? | I came to a tailor to make my dress for my engagement. She said it would take 2 weeks, I could take it on March 01st, I MADE A DEPOSIT OF 1/3 for it (Im sure it was enough for the clothes and decorations). It was expensive but because I hoped it would be great so I didn't care much about the money. The dress must be ready before March 07 as I need to go home on March 08 and my engagement is on March 09.
Why I chose her? I live an hour driving from my hometown, where the engagement is hosted, and the tailor was around 10 mins from my place. I chose her because the first time I came to her she was very helpful so I trusted her, and because she is near me so I can come and try on early and make any change if needed.
And here the story began... As I was busy on March 01, I came to her on March 02, thought that it was ready. BUT IT DIDN'T. She said that she thought the due date was March 04, the dress needed some decorations, it would take some hours and will be ready on March 03. I was very angry. On March 03, I came to her, the dress was ugly, the decorations were terrible so I asked her to change it. I told her that I would come back on March 05. As on March 05 I was busy again so I texted her saying that I couldn't come, I would come on the next day, March 06, she said it was fine, no problem. BUT yesterday, March 06, she wasn't there, I called her, she said she was away and couldn't come back immediately as she....needed to buy some flowers for the Woman's Day (her daughter owned a flower shop next to the tailor). Again, I was very angry. She asked me to come again today, March 07.
Today, I called her before I came, she also said sorry for the same reason: she needed to buy the flowers. She said she would call me when she was back.
Im writing this at 07:40 PM and I need to go to my home early tomorrow.
This is over my limitation!!!! I run out of patience.
I had a backup dress. It wasn't the best but I can help me now.
So AM I AN ASSHOLE IF I WOULDN'T COME TO TAKE MY DRESS AND WOULDN'T PAY HER???? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
wX8yPFrxybYQw78lC1innVcO6MIuo8VZ | 9w2072 | {
"description": "ignoring someone's lifting advice",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring someone’s lifting advice? | I was exercising at the gym, doing an exercise that’s not quite as common (not goofy looking) to target specific functions of the muscle I wanted when some random guy showed up and wanted to give me advice, saying I should do a different exercise instead. He went on for a little bit about how the one he wanted me to do was better.
I’m a small, so I might look like I just started lifting and don’t know what I’m doing, but but half of my job is literally to understand different motions and how to target which for different purposes and plan around that. I take people through exercises and tweak them according to each individual client accounting for injuries, mobility, etc.
I didn’t want to start a debate with some random at the gym, but also felt like I should take a firm stand that I’m not doing what he suggested. When he finished, I just said “Cool. I like my way better so I’m sticking to it.”
He gave me a sort of frustrated look but walked away without saying anything. He just sat down to play with his phone.
Was I the asshole here?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eLeCMZ7Q23MsnuTSOaPt2mna1LHOBlOs | acnpcs | {
"description": "going out to lunch with an old acquaintance and using a gift card to pay for myself but not offering to pay for theirs even though they know I was just gifted a large amount on the gift card",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I went out to lunch with an old acquaintance and used a gift card to pay for myself but didn’t offer to pay for theirs even though they know I was just gifted a large amount on the gift card? | I’m going to dinner with a close friend, X, who is still very close to someone who I would no longer consider a friend, but an old acquaintance, Z. Now X is kind of trying to revive my friendship with Z and suggested we all get dinner sometime because they know I just got a gift card to our formerly favorite restaurant to go to as a group. Z offered to smoke us out before eating (maybe as a reciprocation for using the gift card? I can’t really be sure), but I haven’t been smoking recently, so I declined the offer and instead just opted to meet them at the restaurant. WIBTA if I chose to use the gift card just to pay for my meal and didn’t offer it for theirs?
Tl;dr acquaintance offered to smoke me out (maybe? Idk how these social cues work) in exchange for using my gift card at a restaurant together, but I don’t smoke. Can I just use the gift card on myself? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ljbDY0vrQCInj3tfcAmMgSQF6FOXrYHP | ardbva | {
"description": "hanging out with someone else tonight",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I hang out with someone else tonight? | I previously made plans with someone to chill tonight, but now have found out someone I haven't seen for over a month, and likely won't see for several months after tonight, will be passing through town.
Now they have asked me to hang out tonight.
Person 1 I live like a 35min drive from, so I'd be able to hang out wit them plenty of other times, but they would probably be dissapointed if not upset that I'd be picking someone else to hang out with over them.
WIBTA if I tell person 1 I'd rather reschedule to take this opportunity to hang with person 2?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
vwhebRSpoxt0mz7ewnhHbuAXAOu15IAW | a612un | {
"description": "asking a streamer for a tier list and letting a conversation spiral out of control",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking a streamer for a tier list and letting a conversation spiral out of control. | Hi there, so I normally lurk on twitch streams, but I saw a smash youtuber (competitive player too) on today who I liked, so I decided to come check out his stream. He was talking about how character x was better than he thought, and also that character y was really good. Now he had made a prerelease tier list, but what he was saying went against that. I said in twitch chat, "Make a new tier list." :) And he said don't be an "ignorant fuck" in a kinda joking way. Then he said that he didn't like chat telling him what to do. I responded with I didn't mean to offend him, and that I was a fan of his character z since smash 4. Following that I was really confused why he was mean to me. He went on complaining about chat in general then.
Now shortly after this he ran some ads, and I made the traditional twitch chat joke (common in streams I watch at least) "ads in 2018 lul". It's a stupid joke that I see all the time. Streamer comes back and calls me "fucking scum". My response was "you are kinda being an ass, take a joke." and then I was banned.
AITA? I know I could have handled it better, but I was really lost on what to do in that situation. I still like the guy and didn't mean to make him so mad. Thank you. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FzLLAksPXZqOP2LwO4jQ80Qy1hffIGTQ | b3y2f7 | {
"description": "not believing a friend about her depression",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not believing a friend about her depression? | We began our friendship mid-2018, and it's been good actually. But, the problem is that she is constantly lying. Her "childhood story" has changed multiple times and shes one of the people would say something along the lines of "and everyone clapped". She only recently started speaking of depression since she began hanging with my friend group (3 out of 4 of the original people have actually been diagnosed). She tells us /other people that shes depressed because she wears dark clothes and was "emo". Which, obviously isn't usually what makes a person depressed.
The original members of the group have had serious talks of depression/anxiety, but she only cracks jokes (Which I realize could be a coping method, but is possibly unlikely.) about how shes dead inside and other stereotypical things that typically aren't true about depression. She's admitted to being able to make herself cry and using that to an advantage in class.
I do feel guilty about not beliving her, but with her consistent lying and her not really knowing what depression is, it makes it kind of hard to have trust in her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pc3umU2B7tnrcmoQXrXwV46CBgqDq1gR | arzidf | {
"description": "being annoyed that my boyfriend got drunk and slept in bed with a past crush of his",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being annoyed that my boyfriend got drunk and slept in bed with a past crush of his? | Some background information here: My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 2 years now and met as college students on the same course. Before we started dating he liked another girl who unfortunately for him, did not feel the same way.
Recently I found out that while we were visiting our families at home he had met the girl at her house. He never told me he was going to meet her, so it came as quite a shock as he knows I would feel uncomfortable with this. It turns out that he had gone to meet her and they both started drinking together - eventually drinking too much that they both went to bed. Together. In the same bed.
Now I don't know if anything else happened with them together that night - however it is easy to let my mind wander and read between the lines. This was a girl that my bf spent years pining after so you can probably understand my concerns right now.
When he was confronted by a mutual friend of ours about this he simply replied that I would not be able to handle the situation, so it would be best not to tell me. However, he stood by his own opinion that he had done nothing wrong, and it was fine to sleep in bed with a female friend.
So reddit; am I overreacting at this situation, or do I have a reason to be concerned? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XipZ1uxk4KhVm7lLDPUJ1LiNGnDEmkTd | awccy6 | {
"description": "cutting ties",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cutting ties? | Let's get right into it. I got into the college of my dreams in November of senior year, and I was so excited. C (friend) and her sister had missed *at least* a month of school, so me and my friends S and R kinda assumed they weren't going to graduate. By some miracle they did, and while C's sister took a year off before planning to go to mortuary school, C was going to college. My college, which I thought was a bit odd, since it was expensive, I knew she didn't have a scholarship like I did, and she had never expressed any interest in going to college.
Cut to college and I was having a meh time. Roommate up and left before thanksgiving for no reason, I was failing math and chem, and I wasn't making that many friends, so I tried to stay in touch with C. Key word tried. She was in a different dorm, a different major, and we had no classes together. Whenever I tried to arrange a meet up, she either wouldn't answer me or just say no, she could or something like that. Half way through the year she stopped responding to me altogether and I had to ask her sister what was up. Turns out, she didn't even make it a whole semester before something happened and she left school.
This year I went to a community college, and guess what. In August, C told me she was going to the same one. I was a little weirded out, but once again, ignored it, figuring she didn't know what she wanted to do and heard me talking about it and figured it was a good idea. After school started I texted her a few times, asking if she wanted to have lunch together and shit. Once I asked "Hey, where are you?" and she responded, "Jesus Christ why do you want to know?" like I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab something with me. I stopped seeing and hearing from her two weeks after school started and once again had to go to her sister to find out what was up cause Buddha knows C wasn't answering me. Turns out she dropped out too and now wanted to go to college in Canada to, and I quote, "Get as far away from here as possible." We haven't talked since Christmas when I stopped by her house to drop off a present for their family, and she told me she wanted to go to Canada.
About three weeks ago, we had to put my dog down. I was devastated. C was the first one I texted, and she didn't respond, cause it was only 2pm. Lily was put down and I posted something on instagram, which she liked. Two weeks later, she texted me a picture of a random child, who my friend S told me was her 'nephew' which she knew I didn't care about children, and said, "I just heard about Lily, I'm sorry." I was furious. Bitch, you liar, no you didn't, you saw my post and liked it, even if you didn't see my text. I blocked her on twitter so I could rant, and didn't respond. So, am I the asshole for cutting a her out of my life? I feel kind guilty, but she's lied to me, ignored me, and is being a child. Turns out she also moved to Maryland too, I found out from S. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XbWKNjQgLrvvrLyt9OgP08RWjIimFIDQ | b067ue | {
"description": "keeping my phone on when my mum was talking to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for keeping my phone on when my mum was talking to me | For context, I suffer from diagnosed depression and anxiety and have medication to help me, I also have a loving gf who keeps me going, my parents, especially my mum, don’t believe in depression and say I’m using it as an excuse.
Ok so, this night was particularly bad, I’m a gifted kid but I lack effort, my parents always tell me that I am not living up to my potential and I’m a failure. This night in particular, my mum and I had had a fight as I thought I was improving in school by talking in class more but mum, not seeing my teachers, did not believe I was doing well enough. My mum had walked out and my gf had called me, we were talking to try and calm me down.
Around this time, my mum walked back in, but instead of hanging up, I just left it there for her to listen, my mum was unaware. After some time of having a go at me, my gf unmuted herself and basically told my mum to stop and that she didn’t understand (for context my mum is an ‘eat a lump of concrete’ person) my mum was very annoyed and said that I was a liar and that I was dead to her.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
9364LjBLJSiwb9xkm7TWF9ZZC27fZ3VO | ak7sy8 | {
"description": "wanting some private time",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA - I want some private time. | I go to my parents in CA once a year with my three kids and wife for vacation. One of my siblings decided they also want to come that week, and so last year they showed up with their seven children. Our families generally get along, but instead of being a relaxing vacation it becomes a family reunion with all the noise and hullabaloo. I mentioned to my mother that I would rather not have other people there this year, and she told me I’m being an asshole. I offered to come a different week, but she said she loves when family is together. Don’t get me wrong, we all spend time together, I just feel some private time is ok. My mom feels that any time spent with family is good. Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
6Tef6pvnfwo2PXcO1LPJdWJIYwvZgo5i | acoyqo | {
"description": "not wanting to spend time with my sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to spend time with my sister | I just moved from Arizona to California 5 months ago, and I now live about 1 hour away from my older sister (about 12 years older).
I did not grow up with this person. Our family moved from Mexico to California when I was 4, and then we moved to Arizona when I was 10, and this sister stayed in California. Since I was ten (I am now 31 YO), I saw her in person at most twice per year (for holidays), and it was probably less than that because she didn't always come visit for holidays. I probably talked to her on the phone about twice per year also.
I genuinely do not feel close to her because we did not grow up together and have spent relatively little time together. In addition to this, I genuinely don't really like her as a person. My immediate family and I all agree that she is a difficult person to get along with. I consider her to be rude, unpleasant, and just flat out annoying most of the time.
I have visited her several times since moving to California recently and every time I feel like it is a chore, we never do anything fun, I feel like I'm biting my tongue 90% of the time. I find myself making up excuses for why I have to leave early or why I can't stay. I constantly find myself thinking to myself "god I wish I didn't live so close to you" and "I can't wait to move away so you will stop pestering me."
I love where I live and I love my job. This is seriously the only source of stress in my life at the moment.
Am I the asshole?
1 additional fact:
she is my half-sister, not my full sister, but I that's really a factor in why I want to avoid her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pI8EELXZG7KVlpZTqvWIKv4YVCwNj7Tk | anzkbk | {
"description": "reminding my gf to return me x amount of money each month",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for reminding my gf to return me x amount of money each month? | Me (f) and my gf are both 20, we use parent money just to preface, and I admit we are both in wealthier families. I don’t buy expensive items a lot because I don’t think they’re that necessary + gf is high expense. Been together for almost 3 years.
I pay for meals almost everyday, buy the stuff she tells me to buy when she doesn’t want to leave home, flowers, gas money for her car sometimes and even tickets, etc. However, I don’t pay for her clothes when we go shopping since it’s just more expensive.
So one day, we go shopping and she doesn’t want to use that much money in one day so she told me to lend her 1200 and she will return 300 on a monthly basis. She also hasn’t returned me 400 for concert...so that’s 1600 total.
We fight a lot, and I’ve been more reluctant to spend money for her and she has been commenting on how I’m being “cheap” and I’m always counting. The only thing I’m not spending is the EXTRA gifts she wants me to give her. (We bought each other same price gifts, and she saw another thing she liked...2000$ holy shit and I said I can’t, and she held this grudge saying since I have a bit of side income so I should be able to afford it and that same price gifts = same thing as buying for ourselves so doesn’t really count as a gift?!!!)
Anyways. Today, is the 3rd month and I remind her, and she gets pissed (again) and says I’m cheap and remembering exact dates. Say that I got a part time job (400-600 monthly)so I should not be caring about the last 2 payments, and I’m being cheap. I got kinda mad because I told her you know it’s parent money right and I pay for so many other things and those don’t count apparently??? And then I got told to fuck off and now I’m blocked...for the millionth time.
Thanks for reading. But AITA or am I being too biased here? :/ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
dsdKzKmyxMjNQS15e52xCITFFLzFSlIK | aq9rhv | {
"description": "telling my friends they can't ride in my car anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friends they can’t ride in my car anymore | For context - were all in high school and young but I’m the only one in the group who has a license and and car. Everyone else only has their instruction permit. I usually end up providing rides to my friends because I’m the only one who is able to.
While I’m driving my friends love to make comments and heavily criticize my driving while we’re on the road. (None of them have their licenses and some of them haven’t even driven for more than a month with their instruction permit and this drives me crazy!) This happens every time we go out.
Usually I tell them to stop talking shit about my driving because it’s distracting but if they don’t stop I just sit there and drive, letting them say whatever about me, but one night I got fed up with all their comments and said “If you’re all gonna sit there and talk shit about my driving then you can get out of my car and walk, I’m not driving you guys anymore, I’m so sick of your comments!”
Now they all think I overreacted and are pretty upset at me for not driving them anymore. Was I in the wrong for not giving them rides anymore, or are they in the wrong for shitting on my driving while I’m just trying to get everyone from point A to point B safely?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZaYufTjNQgbN5iDuer1StoMDMnUN3WkP | a3wtif | {
"description": "getting really fed up with people parking in my assigned spot in our apartment lot",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting really fed up with people parking in my assigned spot in our apartment lot? | So for starters, I'm a partially disabled, chronically ill young woman who often but not always depends on a cane to get around. It's especially common for me to need to use it after a long shift at my somewhat physically demanding job. I don't get home until 10:30 or 11pm usually on those days.
Our apartment complex gives each apartment one assigned spot with their apartment number written clearly on it. They can also park in any of the spots that are just marked "Tenant." Parking in someone else's assigned spot can get you towed. This is all laid out clearly in the lease.
For the last few months, at least once a week I've come home exhausted and in a lot of pain, only to find the parking lot completely full, and someone else in my spot. Some of these times I've been upset enough to leave notes on the offending cars - very nice ones at first. "Hey this spot is for people in unit [My Unit Number]. You don't live there so please don't park here. Use a tenant spot. If there's none left in this lot, you have to use the lot at the next building." Sometimes I've been in too much pain to bother. Sometimes I've had my boyfriend go put my note on their car door because I can't but I'm too upset to let it go.
But now it's getting cold and weather is getting bad and I'm getting pissed. I am fed up with having to go across the street to the next building's lot and park there, and hobble back to my apartment. This is especially dangerous with the roads getting slick and icy. Keeping your balance on icy road is hard enough when you AREN'T leaning on a cane.
My notes have become more passive aggressive and include "According to our leases, this is grounds for the complex having you towed." And I've signed the last couple as "cane-using girl in apt [my unit number]" instead of just "Tenant of [unit]. Tonight I left one on the corkboard by the door leading out of our building too. "You know the sign by the lot that says Unauthorized vehicles will be towed? Unauthorized includes parking in other people's assigned spots. So stop doing it!"
Tomorrow I'm going to talk with my apartment complex manager about what to do when people are in my spot and it's not their office hours, see if maybe I can call the tow company myself. Because of course the offenders are usually gone by the time I get up late the next morning.
I feel justified, but still... It's just a parking spot. And the lot across the street isn't all that far away, only another ~100 or 200 steps or so. And often that's not an issue. And towing someone's car feels really petty, especially with the weather being crappy.
But there's times when every step is agony, and those are most often the times my spot is taken. Usually because it's later and the weather is worse, which ramps up both my pain and the odds that someone is going to park in my spot close to the building's front door. And like I said, bad weather + lots of pain and fatigue = dangerous walking conditions.
So. Am I being a petty asshole? Would I be if I got these people towed instead of just leaving notes? Or are they the assholes? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7BbDcQifHEfIffuVTp1WcITFqdtefSJh | ae9dcq | {
"description": "ghosting an ex who is potentially in a manipulative or abusive relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for ghosting an ex who is potentially in a manipulative or abusive relationship? | This ex and I had a rough breakup. I work a job that requires me to be away for very long stretches of time, and as is common for people with this type of job, was cheated on. About six months into a year contract, she told me she was checking herself into a hospital. Worried, I tried to get more info on her condition, however she asked me not to pry, and not to leave my work site to see her. Obviously, i was worried, but I accepted her wish and texted or attempted to call her daily, though she stopped responding soon after being admitted.
As it turns out, what actually happened was she moved in with another man, and didn't have the courage to break it off with me over the phone. So for three weeks, she pretended to be in a hospital unable to answer the phone. When she finally called me back, she admitted that despite still loving me, she couldn't help herself, told me she had moved in with another man, and would be leaving me.
This really fucked me up. My job is already incredibly stressful, and my thinking she was in the hospital made it more so, so when she left me I found myself virtually alone in another country, stuck dealing with a terrible sense of betrayal. To make matters worse, she would often text me trying to make me feel better about it, though in reality they often made me feel worse. After a few months of this, I had to shut her out of my life, so I told her to stop contacting me, and went on with my life.
Fastforward about a year. This bit happened roughly a week ago. I had just gotten out of a short lived relationship with another woman, and again, was not feeling great. Out of the blue, ex sends me a massive wall of text telling me she regrets ever leaving me, that her current boyfriend (the man she cheated on me with) isn't allowing her to see her family, and that she wants me to take her back and help her move out of her situation. I'm a bit ashamed to admit, I seriously considered taking her up on her offer, but eventually declined as I don't really feel like I would ever be able to trust her again, especially with my line of work.
However, we have been in contact for the past week, and she is getting increasingly desperate. From what she has told me, she is in an unhappy, controlling relationship, and is convinced I'm in a position to get her out of it.
The thing is, I'm not sure I believe her. She already lied to me about her situation once before reguarding the hospital lie, and to be honest, I still feel hurt over the fact that she betrayed me earlier. She had a habit of lying about small things in the past, plus the big one, so its possible that she is just emotionally manipulating again hoping that I'll get together with her again, and the thought of that really makes me angry. I'm considering just ghosting her the same way she ghosted me previously.
On the other hand, if she is actually in an abusive situation, I would likely feel somewhat guilty for not trying to get her out of it, as I think it is the right thing to do, even if it would hurt to see her again. Despite this, I'm leaning pretty hard on ghosting her. I don't really feel up to staying in contact with her. Would that make me in the wrong? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
E1P3UQlXNr3QQKsrzUBWexwveZ2TgiBS | b04lnx | {
"description": "leaving my current d&d group for another one if they can't agree to be more consistent with scheduling",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for leaving my current D&D group for another one if they can’t agree to be more consistent with scheduling? | Hi folks! I’m in a D&D group with a couple of folks. Our current campaign has been going for over 2 years now. I really enjoy playing and it something I look forward to. My fiance and I, host the sessions and I’ve gotten us quite a bit of things to make sure the game is engaging and fun. Miniatures, dice, trays, props, snacks, etc. Over the course of the campaign, we’ve lost folks as as real life has caused changes where people couldn’t commit to coming(work, moving, familial/relationship issues). It happens. We’ve always wished them well, kept their player around in the world we’ve built and kept doing it and occasionally picking up a new player. That said, our DM and my fiance have been playing consistently since the beginning.
Now to the problem. While I love the game and I enjoy playing with my friends, we’ve never really been able to have a consistent schedule. The plan had been to meet up for regular sessions every other Saturday. But, due to other people’s schedules and last minute situations we’ve never been able to really keep to that schedule. I’ve never liked it. I feel it ruins the immersion of the story for me because of the poor pacing. I also hate that the thing I really enjoy doing can’t be done with any consistency because others don’t have the same commitment level as I do. But most of all, I dislike the obligation it puts on me as the host. Our friends either have roommates or live with their parents, so there isn’t really another person’s place we can go to play. I feel like it puts me in the position to either put up with the inconsistency so I can do the this one thing I enjoy, or schedule myself to hang out with other people and do other things and never get to play.
I have voiced how I feel to the group several times over the length of the campaign but it always comes as though its not really a big deal and that I should be more patient with everyone and so far I’ve tried to. However, I’ve recently gotten an invite to another friend’s (Mike) game. Mike invited me and stated that they play with their group every week consistently. I turned down their invite this past weekend because my group was supposedly meeting only for it to get cancelled at the last minute.
I’m going to join Mike and that group this weekend and see how it goes. If I have fun and mesh with the group there I think I’d like to join them permanently. WIBTA if after this weekend I talk to my current group and ask them to commit to a consistent schedule otherwise I wouldn’t be available to keep playing with them? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Tfq4KbuHrOOQN0sm7KI3tKr72GCG1At2 | afdat4 | {
"description": "shoving my sister down a hill",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for shoving my sister down a hill? | Okay so it just snowed like crazy, like we have 8 inches of snow. It’s insane. So anyway, we live right by this giant hill, and me and my sister decided to like, go sledding or whatever. So we goed to the very top of the hill, which was like, 10-15 feet up from the normal ground? Idk. And so my sister decided she’d sled down the hill first, and so she got into the sled, but she didn’t go. I was annoyed that she wouldn’t go. She started to try to get out of the sled, but I said something like, “Just go, you big chicken.” And then I pushed her while she was trying to get out? She ended up falling back into the sled and slid down the hill. She made her sled curve like way off the path she was supposed to go on, and then she flew right into a thorn bush. She wad super mad at me after, but it was her fault for not going in the first place. If she was too scared to go, she shouldn’t have volunteered to go first. And she made herself go into that thorn bush. I swear, she did that just so she could get mad at me, cause a sled doesn’t just like, go into a thorn bush. Anyway, I know I’m NTA, but I just want to see what you guys have to say, and show it to my bratty sister to prove she’s wrong. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
AdM10hGYpZpfRvqAqhzohaPBYA4uN08K | b7sodb | {
"description": "having evidence that says I'm right",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for having evidence that says I'm right? | Throwaway, ftp & ltl blah blah. Ok lets start
Friend - L
So a while back we were using L's computer and I noticed a game he has that I enjoy myself.
Me - Oh you play \_\_\_ too? I love that game. Its great.
L - Well I use to but I beat it and reached x rank for this, y money, and some more exaggerated claims.
Me - You mean z rank cuz x doesn't exist?
L - Uhh no I've reached x rank or I'm just not remembering.
We drop the topic since we have class next and he doesn't say anything till today. He sends me a picture of the Fandom page for this game saying all the ranks, rewards, etc.
L - Bet x rank
I knew it was edited and gathered a couple different sources including the original Fandom page. I show him it and say you are good at editing but it really is z.
L - (underlined too) "YOU ARE OBJECTIVELY WRONG"
A couple of minutes pass by and L continues to casually talk about the game. I didn't bother to reply because I was mad that purposely changed info to win an argument.
A different friend asked what was wrong and I explained the situation. My other friend says I should let it go since no harm was done but I feel like what L did was a red flag to our friendship.
TL;DR Friend tries to lie over a game and tries to prove me wrong by editing a site. I show him sources saying otherwise and he blows up. Afterwards he pushes it off and tries to act as if nothing happened.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
3ICHhEcN5qGkycVdtXYj6uGMSgDFCx8h | arcoxs | {
"description": "not backing down and getting off at my bus stop",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for not backing down and getting off at my bus stop? | So when this first happened I was 100% sure I was in the right but in hindsight I may be at least partially responsible.
So I was riding my bus home on Valentines. A few stops down this guy gets on the bus. The bus driver had shut the back bus doors by the time he had arrived, but left the front doors open. This guy pounded on the back for several seconds before going up front. I, as well as a few others, chuckled at how pissed off this guy was. I wasnt laughing in his face but I can see how I riled him.
He took this very seriously, getting aggressive with me and implying I laughed because of my race.
I did apologize, and said I thought it was funny but didnt mean anything against him. At this point a girl in the back spoke up as well in my defense.
I wanted to drop the subject, but as I turned around he muttered that I was a "coward who wouldnt do anything".
Now, I have a tendency to over-defend myself so I started talking back.
I should have dropped it. But I didnt. I started telling him that I didnt mean anything by it but sure as hell wasnt a coward.
Now, I am not a fighter. I talk a lot of crap so maybe I SHOULD be, but I'm not. I can take a few hits, but I'm not one to go throwing punches. But I try to avoid fights if possible.
Now this conversation happened for several minutes. He didnt talk much but every time I tried to back down he would make a snide remark towards myself or the girl. He began to target her more, and I came to her defense because I didnt like where this was going.
Eventually we get to my bus stop. He threatens that I'm "too much of a pussy" to stay and not get off.
Now heres where I may be wrong.
I would like to say I stayed because I was worried things might escalate. But that's a lie. I stayed because I wanted to prove him wrong.
I pulled out my phone and started recording. This did not help to calm him down but I thought it was for the best to have recorded evidence. He got even quieter on video. I will admit the video probably doesnt put me in the best light. There was a point I probably should have dropped it but didnt. It wasnt out of malice; I really wanted to settle things.
His stop comes up. Finally, he begins to react again. He gets out of his seat and into my face, threatening me and calling me a bitch. I tell him I'm not gonna fight him. He smacks me. My phone, which was in my hand, was sent to the floor.
The girl jumps up to my defense, kicking him off me. Another passenger firmly pushes him out the door.
It's at this point I notice my phone is no longer on the bus. I chase after him believing he stole it.
Eventually I lose him in an alley. The girl from the bus comes shortly after. She found my phone at the bus stop. I dont know if he tried to steal it or simply threw it out of anger. The case is cracked and theres some minor damage but it still works fine.
One thing I can say is that I never threatened this guy or tried to incite violence.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
JNyfzPFVUFq9ZyPgSEzaAQdE9TlUXrjj | a3haq5 | {
"description": "cutting off all contact with a girl because she \"just wanted to be friends\"",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting off all contact with a girl because she “just wanted to be friends” | [WITA] I cut off all contact with a girl because she “just wanted to be friends” Now in this case WITA is more of a “was I the asshole” rather then would I be. I hope that’s acceptable.
___
So in freshman year of college I tried my best to get out of my shell and get into things. I attended most of the WOW events (Week Of Welcome) and the wow tours and such. I have a physical disability that makes it hard for me to really walk at the same pace most people do so I ended up being separated from my wow group that was made of of fellow students from the same building. In this other wow group that kinda picked me up as I straggled behind I met this girl we very quickly hit it off and I really started to like her. Inviting her to game night that the floor was throwing and hanging out in her room. It came to the point where I was about to kiss her when I chickened out. Next time we met I asked her if She wanted to go out with me. Like the title says. She wanted to just stay friends. Now she had very valid reasons for saying so; trouble with her family, not knowing if she was going to stay st the university we were attending after the semester, etc. I accepted that answer at first. But then later decided that I was really putting a lot into this whole thing, she didn’t really click with my friends and we didn’t really share many hobbies or classes. So I decided that there was really no point to maintaining the effort so I cut all contact and moved on with my life. WITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ivcXCbV3ajBIBSM2c8NOGyS09Myv4npm | ai48gl | {
"description": "not letting it go",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting it go? | Hello! first of all I'm going to leave a tw for suicide mention, also you'll have to excuse me for any grammar mistake since I'm French 😔
So here's what happened: me (23f) and my boyfriend (24M) were supposed to attend a party with my bf's friends for new year's eve. I agreed since it would have made him happy, even though i'm not really on the same wavelenght as his friends. We already spent Christmas with them (I had to tell my mom that I couldn't spend Christmas with her for the first time in my life) because I also wanted to make him happy. Anyway, I actually suffers from depression and bpd, and he's very well aware of this. Christmas was a really rough day for me since it reminded me of a poor decision i'd made (SA) and my physical health actually suffered because of it, making me sick and dizzy the whole week. I told my doctor and therapist about it and they recommended that I spend some time relaxing with loved ones, in a safe environment. I have a group of friend I feel extremely safe with (no racism, no sexism, really trully good people i've known since college) and I told my bf that I couldn't go to his party because of my mental state and distress. He got pissed because he had "planned everything" and can't just "cancel on his friend like that". I felt hurt by that because I wanted him to consider my illness and that it was at a time where I really needed him but he just brushed it off because he didn't plan it. I still feel really bad about it, even though we talked about it afterwards, but i'm worried that I can't count on my SO if I have another breakdown... Am I an asshole for not letting it go?
TLDR: had a mental breakdown during Christmas, bf refuses to drop party with friends to spend it with me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qoLICeqQ18I0bvQqOQxXzb33nLtjQhtd | 9vmzho | {
"description": "making my friend pay for a holiday that they backed out on",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making my friend pay for a holiday that they backed out on? | So to provide background, two friends and myself planned a trip together and decided to rent an AirBnB house for a week. We planned well in advance (6 months) and I agreed to pay for it upfront on my credit card 50% at that time and then the remaining 50% would come out before our trip. Everything was going well, everyone had sent me the money and I put it into a separate bank account that would pay for the trip.
Now one week before our trip one of my friends decided he couldn't afford to go on the trip and backed out, requesting that I send him back his money. At this time everything that was owed had been paid meaning that if I send him back his money his share would have to be split between me and my other friend.
I told him that we all agreed to go on this trip together and made the plans accordingly and it isn't fair for him to drop out 1 week before hand and expect us to pay the extra money.
I haven't given him any money and am not planning too ... am I wrong in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
n5ovKgulk0DAtILgmNg1Il5ZyTmGcBBy | as4dzw | {
"description": "expecting my friend to pay for my lunch",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for expecting my friend to pay for my lunch? | So this happened a while ago. A mutual friend (who we’ll call Nate) came up to visit my friend (who we’ll call Alex) and I in college a state away. We all went to high school together so we’re all good friends. We were all supposed to sleep at Alex’s apartment as I was still living in the dorms. A few hours into the night Alex says he has to go home for a bit but will be in touch with us later.
Well by the time 11:30-12 rolls around we’re trying to call Alex and knock on his apartment door with no response. It turns out he went home to have sex with his girlfriend and turned his phone off and probably fell asleep, forgetting all about Nate and I. By this time it’s too late to get Nate a dorm pass to stay with me so I frantically call everyone I can and after about an hour or so of doing this a girl I previously met was nice enough to let us stay with her for the night.
The next morning Alex calls us and is really apologetic, saying he fucked up and both he and his girlfriend say they want to take us out to lunch to make up for it.
So in out hungover state we head to the Cheesecake Factory (their choice) and I order what totals to be about $25 dollars not including tip. I didn’t wanna be a jerk and go all out just cause I wasn’t paying for it but I got what I thought was fair.
When the check comes, Alex says he wants it split 3 ways. One for me, one for Nate, and one for him and his girlfriend. I’m immediately like “wtf” in my head, and his girlfriend goes along with it for a bit, until she says, “Alex, you should really pay for Nate, you said you would.” So Alex kind of grunts and covers his check, but not me, not even a thought of it. I end up paying for myself and still thinking wtf.
Am I the asshole for expecting after my friend ditched us and said “we want to take you out to lunch” that he would pay for it? Or am I in the wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JT6a02Siii95VOiNUYMYvUIHueibapgK | ac68e0 | {
"description": "not wanting to throw condoms away",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to throw condoms away | Probably something that was brought up before but there I go : I recently moved in with my SO, and since she's on the pill and we both got tested for STDs we stopped using condoms. I still have a box of (quality) condoms on my hands, and I decided to put it away in a cupboard in the bathroom. When she found out I had stashed them and not threw them out, she got mad at me saying I was keeping them "just in case" I planned on cheating on her. I don't like waste and they're not going bad for a few years, it just feels wrong to put something valuable in the bin. AITA ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kFqMBbPditnXhHrTxA8JRM6JtnskdTec | b48u73 | {
"description": "not wanting to go on vacation with the man who violated my wife",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go on vacation with the man who violated my wife? | TX raise up. Throwaway obviously.
​
So, I am pretty certain I'm not but am feeling guilt from my SO is complaining that I am being mean and selfish. This summer SO wants us to go for a family vacation with the in-laws, this would be the second time we do so. The trip would include her siblings, her parents and all the kids so it's a big deal as we don't do that often. Problem is, her father violated her when she was a teenager and I cannot stand the man, nor my SO's mother as she blamed her child for what happened. He is a terrible person, has done a terrible thing and I cannot stomach his presence or the asshat he calls his wife.
Me and the SO have had our troubles the last two years because I stupidly agreed to move to an area where her parents live. We used to fight daily about family breakfasts that I didn't want to go to, easter breaks or trips to Macey's with them that I just thought was wrong, totally out of order etc but acquiesced because she insisted and fought to make it happen. SO has been to a psychologist for her issues stemming from the incident with her father, later a psychiatrist to work through her things - this is an ongoing process and a lot of her trauma has resulted in some difficult relationship dynamics at times. Her mother is the evil queen in my life, who blamed her daughter for the incident, accusing her of trying to take her man, checking if she was pregnant all the time, physically punishing her for the incident without talking about it in any sensible way - the whole nasty schpiel - you can imagine the fallout for my wife when she was a teenager (the shame, the stress, the silence).
My SO wants to be close to her family despite said issues, this makes me sad but I cannot force her away from her family - that is her choice. But my child and just as importantly myself should be kept out of that sick constellation of fear, shame, pretense and anger that I feel can erupt at any moment. She is arguing that she also wants to give our boy a nice family vacation with her family because "everybody else is going and he would love to be with his cousins" and she wants to go with her siblings. I agree that a vacation with her siblings would be nice, but on principle I can no longer condone doing activities like this with her fathar and mother present despite her wishes to do so.
AITA for not wanting to travel with this her family and effectively blocking our participation the big family vacation because of my principles, even if there is no risk the father posing any danger of repeat incidents? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
AXhV7tFqL4Oo7tkx0akEm7NJvea7oWB3 | amiwu9 | {
"description": "being mad that my girlfriend wont stay the night and take me to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for being mad that my girlfriend wont stay the night and take me to the airport? | We've been together for two years. We don't live together, but we sleep together almost every night. She is about to graduate college and relocate for a job. I am also looking to relocate. We are going to do the long distance relationship thing if needed for no longer than a year at which point we will break up or one of us will relocate so we can live together. Its likely one of us will relocate again. Things are going well for us.
I leave tomorrow at 6 am for a job interview across the country, and will be gone for 9 days. I'm 99% positive I will get the job and will use this time to try and find somewhere to live. My girlfriend has been out of town since Thursday celebrating her fathers retirement. She just got back into town and is with her best friend and her best friends sister. They are working on wedding plans for her best friend.
I asked her to spend the night with me and drop me off at the airport tomorrow. She says that she can take me to the airport, but that she can't stay the night, or see me today. It really does not make sense logistically for her to drive to my place tomorrow morning, then to the airport. So I am not going to rely on her for a ride to the airport if she does not want to stay the night too. However, I really want her to stay the night with because I love her and I want her to see me off. So I'm pretty hurt and salty about this in general.
The reason she has given for not being able to stay with me is that she is wedding planning with her two friends and that she is worried she will get too drunk and not make to my place tonight. The wedding is in late August. There is no reason that they cannot do wedding planning tomorrow, or at any other time. Its not like they have appointments or anything. Also, in my view, "I can't help you because I am getting drunk" is a pretty lame excuse.
Anyways, AITA for being pissed about this? It it unreasonable of me to be upset about this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
yDI0ibbR5Eb3PJbNevsKo4zKfQvxuwDY | b2bct5 | {
"description": "being upset with my friend because of how he treats people, including me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset with my friend because of how he treats people, including me. | I’ve been friends with this guy (let’s call him Q) for a couple years. There has always been times where we have gotten in arguments and it seems like the friendship is over but we end up pretending it never happened. Which I’m not sure if that’s healthy.
I’ll be fair, it feels like I might be overreacting but that’s why I’m asking. But It feels like he is trying to one up me in everything. For example, we both were looking for jobs. I got an interview and never got a call back. So he decides to go for the same job, then gets it. Then he would just never shut up about said job and how great it is.
Then he tells me his plans to graduate and I told him I was planning on joining collegiate. I take my tests and pass and submit it in the lottery(it’s random if you make it or not). He saw that I passed it then he goes to take the test the next day and also passes.
Well everyone who submitted their scores have been emailed about if they made it or not. I didn’t make it, but he did. He has since made a joke about how he has taken my spot, And my job.
He also saw that I bought this jacket from Dicks, then he invites me to church the next week and I get into his car and he has the exact same jacket on. He said “I thought I’ve seen it before. I liked it so I got it”. And now one of our friends in our friend group bought a new pair of shoes, and Q is trying to buy them. He doesn’t realize how it is rude to buy the same shoes his friend just bought.
Finally, at times Q would be hanging with me and some other friends in the group, and he would get texts or calls from our other friends, and I’ve noticed Q always has something bad to say about one of our friends. It’s almost like he tries to belittle one friend, in front of everyone else except said friend he is talking about, to make himself look better.
It only makes me wonder what he says behind my back? WIBTA if I approached him about it or am I overreacting?
I don’t doubt that I could be a bad friend at times, but this seems worse than a couple mistakes. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
k1xMZrwduM6pzk9YvrBz8TqB1wBGI3r9 | asjyuc | {
"description": "kissing a girl with a bf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for kissing a girl with a BF? | I (26/m) met Amanda (19/f) about a week and a half ago. While speaking with Amanda, she reveals that she is unhappy with her boyfriend (27/m) and has been for 6 of the 8 months they have been together. I told her that's ridiculous and if she has been unhappy for so long she should end it. She asks for my snapchat and we continued talking there.
We continued speaking via snapchat the entire weekend and it becomes increasingly more flirty. we discuss the dynamic of a dom/sub relationship and what turns us on about bondage and s&m.
she made plans to come to my house, I'd help her with her homework, she'd be my rope bunny, and she wanted to "wrestle". I asked what BF thought and she said he doesn't care.
She was my rope bunny and then she suggested that we wrestle, but really she meant she wanted me to dom her brat. I spanked the shit out of her and she loved it. I asked her "what will you tell BF about the welts on your ass?" She said "I'll think of something."
I say wrestling made me want to kiss. She said she did not want that.
After geology homework, she prods me to wrestle more. I wasnt up for it. she took a dog collar and tried to cuff me. I told her, "if you close the buckle, I will kiss you." She got really close to closing it and paused. after a few seconds I pulled them off. We cuddled on the couch but she had to go home.
Next day after work she asks me what to do. I invite her over but do not suggest an activity.
She arrives, we hang out with my dog for a min before she suggests we head upstairs. she suggests I rig her in a pentagram chest harness.
We wrestled more but I became aroused and wished to take a break.
She tried to cuff me and I say "if you do that, something bad will happen" She asked "you're not going to sexually assault me are you?" I say "spanking people will get you in trouble with HR. What's sexual assault defined as?"
She said "spanking me isn't assault, I drove all the way out here."
She then hit me with the end of her lead trying to get a rise out of me. I said stop, she kept on doing it. even demanded that I count them out loud.
I said "I'll count them in my head, and if I get to ten, You will not like it." When she got to 9, I reminded her. She says she needs to go home, it's getting late. just before we started to get up she hit me with the lead again and got to 10.
I pinned her down and gave her a peck on the lips. She pulled away, but I telegraphed it and thought it was part of the game we'd been playing for the past 2 days. She didn't use the safeword.
We walked to her car and hugged goodbye. She texted me until she fell asleep.
Today she told me she doesn't want to hang out one on one again for now. I asked her what she thought would happen and she said "idk, not that". I told her I'm happy to be friends but no more wrestling or ropes until she dumps BF.
Tl;dr girl with boyfriend sends severely mixed signals and is surprised when I kiss her. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
B5jlVqNbiRI540EJZH0pPXi4kC3EzcpZ | aeb1r4 | {
"description": "telling my Sister's friend to stop adding so many men on snapchat",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my Sister's friend (16) to stop adding so many MEN on snapchat? | My sister has a very close friend who comes over to stay at our house for sleep overs, I am my sister's legal guardian and I think of her friend as a niece in a way. I often take them to places such as the mall or the movies. Every time I do she go up to at least one man, at least my age, which is 24 and asks them for his snapchat. I never say anything to her about it since she technically is not my kid. However, I'll overhear that after she adds one of these new people she says things along the lines of talking to him for awhile before just stopping because she felt like this.
I for one, think this is very dangerous, she's going up to strangers far older than her, I'm assuming because she thinks they are attractive, and get's their snapchat only to cut them off only days later. She has no idea what these people are like, or if one of the guys genuinely get pissed enough and come after her? Yesterday, when she was over at my house visiting my sister talking about doing the same thing again, is when I finally told her that she shouldn't be talking to people in that age group. She got terribly offended as did my Sister.
Am I in the wrong for thinking this? Am I being too protective over somebody who is not my child? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
0A071rVSlIVXnf6iyHRCOYIBmKdv4rMo | 9wh9vt | {
"description": "\"coming off negative\" or \"attacking\" when I am straight forward with someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for “coming off negative” or “attacking” when I am straight forward with someone? | I have a family member who in my opinion always takes things personal. Doesn’t matter what it is, but if you don’t use exact words, he takes things as if you’re attacking his character or putting him down.
I am a straight forward person and I say how I feel, what I think etc. as I think honesty will only help although it may hurt in the moment.
An example would be him and I talking about a video game, he said “apparently they are nerfing my class” I said “well if you can’t handle it just change specs”. He kind of lost it, sending me multiple messages saying I was attacking him, being negative and putting him down.
What I meant by it is “if it doesn’t work, make changes and we can adjust”. Apparently I should have just said that.
Another time I can think of would be when we would be having a conversation about government and society and he just gets so defensive and upset if you won’t agree with him.
I always feel like I have to walk on egg shells around him because I don’t know how he will take something. He’s always claiming people are negative but he’s constantly complaining about society and the government. I’ve heard him argue with his friends because they are being “assholes” when according to them they were joking with him.
Everyone else especially at work always talks about how positive, helpful and friendly I am. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ty9RbVD7w4bdvGfSXUZSHFODeQAB4FSq | a48ob6 | {
"description": "walking out of my class as they attempted to sing happy birthday to me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for walking out of my class as they attempted to sing happy birthday to me? | My 4th hour science class is my least favorite class. I always feel like I’m an outsider from the pre established groups of students. My opinion is never taken into account when looking at things that involve me. The biggest example of this is when the entire class had an debate on how to pronounce my name and no one listened to me pronounce my name. So flash forward to Friday December 7th. My birthday is on Saturday December 8th. So during the last five minutes of class my teacher reminded us about my birthday. So the entire class attempted to sing happy birthday. I finally had enough when I heard the many ways people attempted to pronounce my name. I grabbed my things and walked out of the classroom. I know I should have asked to use my pressure pass but I was just thinking in the heat of the moment. The entire song felt like nobody was being genuine and just wanted to get through the day. In fact that was the only time anyone mentioned my birthday for the rest of the day. I still wonder if my actions were valid at the time or should I apologize to everyone for walking out. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
LknH1LSsHy8d7np9nMGLZVQL45BxJV37 | b6p7eu | {
"description": "expecting my boyfriend to help me through my head injury",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for expecting my boyfriend to help me through my head injury? | Hiya. LTL, FTC. On mobile blah blah blah.
About a week ago, I sustained a severe concussion and brain contusion at work from hitting my head on marble. It's been very hard for me to be "normal"; everything is slow, especially my speech. Everyone has been helpful- my roommates, work, my parents and friends. Everyone except my boyfriend of 15 months. He refuses to take off any time from work to help, stating that I already have so many people willing. The first time he saw me (four days after I hit my head) "Are you always going to talk like this?" He apologized a few minutes later for his mean question, but didnt retract it. He does ask how I'm doing-when I call him to check in. We went to get me groceries for the two weeks I'm housebound (and to give my awesome roommates a break from babysitting me) and he kept leaving me alone in the store for 15-20 minutes at a time. Through out this entire week, he's been acting like coming to see me is a big chore he has to fit into his busy schedule of work, family events, and ju-jitsu class. To be fair to him, it is 1 hour each way, but I know if the roles were reversed I wouldn't hesitate to take time off to care for him. We've had a really great relationship before, to the point where we both feel like we want to spend our lives together. I asked him if this was just a reaction to seeing me change and he just said "no, I'm just tired." Things have been awkward because I feel so disappointed in his refusal to step up while everyone else is scrambling to help. AITA?
TL;DR: sustained bad head injury at work. Everyone else in my life is stepping up to help but my boyfriend. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eAtum8L7Sa0GZLOVN6ta6fwlfJZUikDE | ajxgla | {
"description": "resenting my great grandmother and wanting her to move out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for resenting my great grandmother [93] and wanting her to move out? | pardon the terrible formatting. much dreaded mobile user.
a bit of background. trying to be vague while presenting as much information as possible here. i’m a teen. my great grandmother moved in with my family (mother, father, and i) when i was three. There was initial agreements set in place between my parents & her. despite being family, she would still have to pay rent. They gave her a specific number and agreed, and on those terms she moved in. After a while, rent goes completely unpaid (like, six months.) despite both of my parents taking care of the payments she had on her old home.
Now, it’s about a half a year in. Of course older people are extremely set in their ways and want everything their way. Though, this is/was our home and she took complete advantage even early on. She openly ridiculed my father & mother for ‘not raising me right’ and caused arguments between them that were really hard for me to understand as a young child. She basically does everything her way. If it’s not her way, there’s a complaint.
I wish i could format a total timeline, but i don’t know where i would actually begin. in short, she’s incredibly manipulative and have my parents wrapped around her finger. She acts like i’m a total brat and disrespect my parents despite standing up for them when she completely ridicules them. She takes control of everything when we have stated over ten plus years we want the household decisions to go through the ‘actual’ family first. She does not listen. Each time you ask her politely to hold back from a certain thing, she cries, and claims we are the reason she hates being old, how she’s such a burden, and how we wish she would just drop dead.
Here’s the issue. My parents believe it’s absolutely insensitive for me to think that she should be put into a home, despite being the reason my mom quit her job and is unemployed, and being the reason why i want to leave the house as soon as possible. She claims she doesn’t have money, though she spends her social security on gambling. (she is very active for a 93 year old, i commend her for that at least.) My less immediate family have not done anything at all. They don’t contribute at all, and call us (mom, dad, i) all lazy and inconsiderate for asking for help from time to time. It seems like a huge guilt trip to me that each of my parents have fallen for.
Therefore this post. My parents have argued with me to large extents despite me being driven to multiple inconsolable panic attacks due to this woman in my own home, stating it is still morally incorrect to want her out. she was the reason my first dog passed. (overfeed him. his legs gave out. my parents say it somehow was not her fault, though evidence proves otherwise.) I was wondering if i truly am the asshole for wanting her to be gone, and frankly not caring exactly where she goes? they think she needs to be put in a top of the line home, but she didn’t budget properly and i don’t see that as our problem, or one that should cause me so much emotional strain.
Am I the Asshole here?
TLDR: 93 year old grandma causes me severe anxiety. has for 10+ years. i suggest i want her out of our home, and my parents get defensive. She is the main contributor to my dogs death, which holds really close to my reason for wanting her out. AITA for not caring where she is and if it’s a nice place if she moves out sometime? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SWDEHyGd3E9yoq89Ph0Zn9g01hafBxLB | avh5hp | {
"description": "breaking up with someone because they were mean while on their period",
"pronormative_score": 73,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if I broke up with someone because they were mean while on their period? | I (M39) have been dating someone (F25) for a few weeks now. She has recently started her period and has been in a lot of discomfort as a result. I have been trying to do everything I can to ease her pain, but through it all, she has been pretty mean to me. For instance, she was at work and complaining of cramps. I offered to bring her lunch and anything to make her feel better, which she agreed too. As I had class to attend, I told her that it wouldn’t be until 1PM when I got there. Her response (knowing full well from the start that I had class and an exam that day that I couldn’t skip) was to claim I didn’t really care and should not even bother comforting her if I was going to half ass it. Over the past 4 or 5 days, this has been pretty consistent, where she is pretty mean to me, regardless of how hard I try to make her feel better. I absolutely understand she is in pain and can sympathize with her, but at what point is it not justified. At what point should I look at the future and realize this will be a month occurrence for as long as I’m with her. When I asked if she always has periods as difficult as this, she said that she did and if I couldn’t handle her like this, I’m not a real man. WIBTA to break up with her over this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 71,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 73,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
YVLgAkmLTar9GoDJKgvU8AnWZIYCvMjq | b0am1u | {
"description": "thinking about divorce over lack of sex",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for thinking about divorce over lack of sex? | Am iI the asshole for having thoughts, like vivid planning, of getting divirceddivorced over lscklack of sex?
35m with my wife 30f with two kids. Been together ten years.
Up until 18 months ago our sex life had ups and downs but was over all pretty good. Then one day it stopped, all intimacy stopped. We saw counselors, marriage and sex, and since then everything but sexuality has gotten better than ever, like really really awesome. Intimacy is a slow roll over the last 18 months, but still hardly at the cuddle for more than 10 minutes a week. Basically no sexuality, 3 quickies over the 18 months.
​
She says she's trying. She has anxiety issues and is incapable of the lead up, it's all end goal for her, but that means unless the world's align there is no start, I can't kiss her neck randomly, or graze my hand otherwise I'm pushed away and called annoying.
Over the last 6 weeks she has three times said we are going to do something more intimate, bath or more, but it wouldn't happen, it would be oh tomorrow, oh the next day, and then nothing.
​
If I bring up sex I'm the bad guy. I do everything that she's asked to help her, I don't know what else to do. I'm not even sure she realizes it's as big an issue for me as it is because it's literally the only thing we don't talk about, that I can't talk about. She thinks our relationship is perfect.
​
I feel like an asshole but think about seeing a lawyer more and more often.
​
Am I an asshole?
​
​
Ps, I'm 99.99% sure she isn't seeing someone else. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
V8i2kruMBJ4nj2ix4SKq4my2VPC1BrB2 | b488gq | {
"description": "narcing on my sister to our mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for narcing on my sister to our mother? | In my teens and early twenties I experimented with different drugs. I don’t think it’s that uncommon. My youngest sister is going through that phase I’ve tried not being a hypocrite about it and staying out of her business. The problem is I know her dealer from my own previous experiences with him. He is not a safe guy to be around. There are some rumors and even talk of people just going missing, but I have no idea how much is just small town talk to be fair.
What I do know about him is that he’s a sex offender. Many, many fights break out at his house. He will give you really hard drugs to try out.
He’s just not safe for a young woman to be around. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she told me to basically butt out. I’m really conflicted. If I tell our mother about all this it will really damage my relationship with her. If I don’t and anything ever happened I would never forgive myself. I’ve never felt “old” before, but I’m starting to with this situation. I want to kill the party. The flip side is that I am being a hypocrite and her life is hers to do with what she wants. She’s an adult even though she lives with our mom. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
KOvP8zseOXw6GyT5soe94ohoxgWKXCG2 | af3dba | {
"description": "friending someone on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for friending someone on Facebook? | I'm pretty liberal with friending people on FB. If I see someone I know in my suggestions, I friend them automatically, and I don't care much about whether they see/like my stuff or whether I see/like their stuff.
I'm in my first year of college & have been friending lots of people at my school. So far, pretty much everyone (out of maybe 20) has accepted the requests.
The other day, I sent a request to someone I've had a couple classes with. I had already been following them on Instagram. That night, they posted a rant on their IG story that could not have been more obviously aimed at me. Excerpts include, "I ONLY use FB for family and close friends," "don't bother with me if I don't follow you back" (they don't), "y'all creepy as fuck," and a conclusion along the lines of, "I'm fucking deactivating this account and moving to my alternate one, DON'T FUCKING REQUEST TO FOLLOW IF YOU AREN'T A CLOSE FRIEND!"
I know Facebook doesn't have those little account descriptions like IG does, so there was no way for me to know that this person wouldn't appreciate my request. However, the incident has made me rethink how little thought I put into friending. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong on purpose, but their reaction definitely made me feel bad. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CacGJ2H9dFj1WvBT22Bho0kdOGRFj52F | aw8h44 | {
"description": "turning a guy down because he's short",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA For Turning A Guy Down Because He's short? | I was at a bookstore last week and I ended chatting with a guy and he was nice and cute and asked for my number and even though I'm like 2-3" taller than him I gave him it. We're both 22 I'm like 5'8 he's maybe 5'5, we spoke on and off for a week and he asked me out to a bar I had no plans and so I agreed and it was a good time he's a nice guy. But the more I was thinking about it during the date the more I thought to myself that it won't work out because he's a lot shorter than me. I still enjoyed the date and he paid our tab, after that we were speaking and he mentioned we should go to this cool other bar next time. And I just said I wasn't feeling anything between us, he was kinda bummed but said any particular reason? So I just told him I don't really like shorter guys, and he surprisingly took it very well. He said no problem I get it, thanks for the honesty and we hugged and went on our on ways.
I told one of my friends this who's a guy and not short he's like avg height and he said that was super vain and shallow as the way I was describing him he was a nice guy and he can't control his height. However, my GF's think I was well in my right too and that its a deal breaker for them too and I'm not an ass.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 21
} | RIGHT |
0KEDCF9LDHFz6bpprRN9ZaO430iSgtDB | b4l3yb | {
"description": "not inviting my cousin to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA If I didn't invite my cousin to my wedding? | Sorry if formatting is weird, on mobile.
So for some background my mother's side of the family is pretty big, each of her siblings had two kids and were spread pretty evenly apart. My brother (Alex) and I ended up growing up pretty close, proximity wise, to two cousins: Brian and James. This is for many reasons the primary ones being that our fathers were friends in highschool and being the closes pairs of cousins in age to each other.
In particular Alex and Brian would often hang out and myself and James would hang out as there was only a year between each of us. (Me being the oldest.) As time went on these pairings became less and less willing on my part.
The reason for this is James. He had very little respect for others or their belongings. When I was about 14 I lent a book out to him and got it back with the front cover in tatters. He claims I gave it to him like that despite the fact I keep my books in very good, if a little read, condition. Just one example of many.
He is notorious for not paying money back (personal experience), and for gift money he receives from his family, meant for rent or utilities, to disappear, with James claiming he's not sure where it went.
Anyways I took a few extra years off after highschool to build up money and to wait until I felt like I was ready for school again, especially since I knew I'd have to leave my hometown for my program. The same year I left so did James, for the same university.
I made it clear I would not entertain rooming with him and since then have more or less cut him out of my life. I told my parents that I'd be cordial at family gatherings but that if given the option I'd rather not engage and that I expected that choice to be respected. James has also made his distaste for my fiancee very clear, which doesn't really bother either of us.
Here's where the problem comes in, my fiancee and I are in the very early planning stages of our wedding, as it's still some years off, and I'm unsure how to handle the guest list in regards to James.
Alex and I have a great relationship and through him I've reconnected with Brian and would love to invite him, I'm also not adverse to inviting my Aunt and Uncle but would really rather not have James at my wedding.
WIBTA for not inviting a cousin I have a bad history with to my wedding while inviting his family? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2PTKfyn2jDBvWiPah4zJ3woSE4LzFutE | axp3g9 | {
"description": "helping everyone but one kid in the class with homework",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I help everyone but one kid in the class with homework? | So, I'll make the introduction quick. I am in some gifted program(we're in 10th grade, program starts in 9th), and as you canimagine, people who may be smart(er than the average guy) get in too. And some of them are "name-droppers", arrogant or whatever.. sadly, my English isn't good enough to describe it . We are not a lot in the class, and there is this one kid whom I'd love to have a written document of everything he ever said because I could have one of the best /r/iamverysmart posts ever, frontpage material. Talks about how he's gonna do (our coutry's version of) SAT of physics this summer (which is a year and a half early), tries to speak about Fermat's last theorem.. you get it.
​
​
You may have guessed it by now, but this kid might be the smartest in a regular classroom, but he's really bad here. Can say all the smartest shit in the lesson, but never got more than 70 after 8 tests we've had, and even tries to keep a "smart" persona I think is how I should describe it? for example, we've had a test two months ago and he left after an hour and a half (the test was three hours long), for absolutely no reason- he went home after that. He got 68 and had to go to a second term (I'm not sure how it's called in English).
​
​
Now, we have homework every week that we have to submit. It's graded, and is weighed 15% of our final grade. So it could definitely help someone who's just a little above failing. We have a group chat, in which he asks for help in homework every single week. So do others. I usually try to help people who ask for help, like sending the page I submitted, because luckily I'm doing well here (tests always above 90, homework consistently submitted and usually well done), but with him I always send short and not-so-useful answers. Lately I've been thinking about ignoring his requests completely, and sending the pages privately and not in the group with him, in addition to ignoring his requests. He'll probably realise what is happening and that I am "ghosting" him, but sometimes his comments in lessons sometimes make my blood boil.
​
So, reddit, AITA and WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.