id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
rg9j2TuD8xLQTRwHpwr33zOXeE51Xqx7 | atq0mo | {
"description": "not liking the fact my friend asked my boyfriend to prom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AItA for not liking the fact my friend asked my boyfriend to prom? | A bit of backstory: at my high school, the juniors and seniors have a prom every spring, and are allowed to bring underclassmen and people from other towns, so long as they pay for both tickets.
​
My boyfriend and I are both sophomores, and I found out a few weeks ago that a mutual friend of ours, who I'll call OMF (Our Mutual Friend), asked my boyfriend to the prom. I didn't find out about it from my boyfriend, instead from our friend at lunch. However, upon commenting on it to my boyfriend, he forgot he hadn't told me, and his response was genuine. I have no reason to believe he was hiding it from me.
​
Now, normally I'd be 100% chill with OMF bringing my boyfriend to prom. However, a few red flags popped up in my head. **1: OMF didn't consult with me first:** Our relationship was only a few weeks in and being kept lowkey at that point, OMF was one of the few people my boyfriend had told about us by then. Now, I am not the controlling type, but I was a little offended that she didn't ask if it was cool. I would've said yes, so maybe it doesn't matter, but that brings me to point **2: I sometimes get the feeling OMF likes my boyfriend.** I don't want to jump to conclusions, as I love OMF, but I can't help but be suspicious. Everytime the two are in the same place, OMF is usually with my boyfriend, and keeps up a constant conversation with him. For example, one time my boyfriend and I were talking, and OMF, who had been far on the other side of the room, came up to us and started talking to my boyfriend, and (whether unintentionally or not) kicked me out of the conversation.
​
I love OMF, but I don't know whether or not I'm being dramatic and reading into things. I am also going to prom, but it is with someone I consider to be like my brother, and my boyfriend knows we are like siblings, and doesn't mind. I want to be as nonchalant, but my anxiety is getting the best of me. I know that OMF won't try anything, but I can't help being really uncomfortable about the situation. I feel too awkward to bring this up with my boyfriend, but I feel that I'll have to soon, before the anxiety and annoyance builds up towards OMF. So, AItA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
hoz14WelqZQvL7OWKwLCgCu3WN6suF4j | b749ld | {
"description": "taking a pic of my husband shitting in a ditch",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 64
} | AITA for taking a pic of my husband shitting in a ditch? | I'm still laughing about this, so don't count on any remorse from me.
Husband and I left home for a shopping trip. About 15 minutes away from home, I notice he's making faces and I ask if he's ok. No, he has stomach trouble. I tell him to turn around and head back home.
12 minutes later he shouts "I'm not gonna make it!" and pulls over on the highway. He leaps out of the jeep and heads for the ditch. I roll down my window and toss a pack of Kleenex and baby wipes to him.
I wait. Then I spontaneously open my camera and sneak a shot of him bent over, pants around his ankles. No peen, no ass.
He gets back in the jeep and I show him the photo. He's pissed. We get home and i tell our son the story and show him the photo. Husband is even more mad. I delete the photo.
Husband texts his friend to complain, and friend says he would have done the same. Husband is even *more* upset.
So... Am I an asshole like he's saying? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 64,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 64
} | WRONG |
t28GfO0ibLQMroD1Hhz07nzxijaoZwMW | ashfts | {
"description": "telling my friend I didn't appreciate paying for a $200 meal at her husband's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 742,
"contranormative_score": 52
} | AITA for telling my friend I didn’t appreciate paying for a $200 meal at her husband’s birthday party? |
My friend invited my husband and me to a 40th birthday party for her husband. The party was going to be at a fairly upscale restaurant with dancing afterwards. We’ve been working on some remodeling projects, so we’ve been on a strict budget. My husband and I wanted to attend the party without breaking the bank, so we decided to share an appetizer and entree and only have one drink apiece.
When we got to the party, we were ushered into a private party room. When were seated, we were given preplanned menus with several options for appetizers, entrees, and desserts. I asked a passing waiter if I could order a la carte instead of getting the preplanned menu. The waiter indicated that the meal was being paid for by the hosts and because were were part of the party, we needed to order form the preplanned menu.
My friend is a bit wealthier than we are and has always been really generous about their parties, but I was blown away that they would host 15+ people at this restaurant.
As the meal was ending, the main server approached my friend’s husband with the check. My friend’s husband seemed to be a little upset, and said, “I know this isn’t how you normally do things but we are only paying for the wine. We told you that.” I suddenly started panicking inside. I was trying to catch someone else’s eye to see if they were panicking as much as I was. One other couple looked horrified, but everyone else seemed calm. I opened the check, and the total was $211. I thought I was going to throw up. I have never spent that much on a meal.
I held my shit together because I didn’t want to make a scene. The couple that looked horrified sidled over to us and we asked if they knew how much it was going to cost and that our friend wasn’t paying. They said they had asked waiter too, and he had indicated the hosts were paying.
I ended up messaging her and said, “Thanks so much for inviting us to \*\*\*’s party. We had a great time. Just a heads up for next time, we really need to know if there if going to a party is going to cost more than $100. We are on a really tight budget, so a heads up would be appreciated. Thanks again.”
My friend said, “Sorry! Should have given you a heads up. Glad you came.” And we haven’t spoken or hung out since. I’ve tried to set up coffee dates and girl’s nights but she just bails or never responds. It’s been almost 3 months, and she doesn’t seem to want to talk to me at all. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 707,
"EVERYBODY": 19,
"NOBODY": 35,
"INFO": 9
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 742,
"WRONG": 52
} | RIGHT |
7y5uFmP3z79BNPXqRANTsMZoUyr47TVW | b2vyhg | {
"description": "saying people with physical disabilities shouldn't hide it on Tinder etc",
"pronormative_score": 76,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for saying people with physical disabilities shouldn't hide it on Tinder etc | First time poster and on mobile so apologies for any issues!
I have a 3 year old who has a foot amputation. She wears a prosthetic leg. Because of this I am on a FB page about limb differences. Currently there is a woman losing her mind because her friends nephews son went on a date through Tinder, didn't tell the girl he was missing an arm and when she questioned it he responded by rubbing his nub all over her. Girl told boy he shouldn't have hidden the fact (apparently all photos on his profile were with his nub facing away) and she felt he had deceived her. This woman is losing it because this girl is being discriminatory towards people with a limb difference. I asked why was it different to height and weight? We expect people to be honest about that so why not about a physical disability. I don't think the guy had to shout it from the rooftop but I can imagine it was a shock getting into a car and finding your driver, and date, only had 1 arm! So now im getting ripped on this page and am curious, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 68,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 76,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
5Tekb1zF8fDqOxTty6oHsku2xfhlq2dF | ajgxj6 | {
"description": "having a nude agreement",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for having a nude agreement? | So I've known my 2 best friends (one is male, the other female, I am a male) 7+ years, went through high school, now college in our little group of 3. We've been really close and 2 years ago my 2 friends started to date, I, of course, kept being a friend and all.
Now for the meat of the matter, my girl best friend boasts about her body a lot, especially her ass, she puts work into it so when we get together at house reunions she always teases us by wearing skimpy clothes and getting into suggestive positions. This did not change when they got into a relationship.
3 months ago I was talking via chat with her and she was saying how great her ass was and all that fuzz, jokingly i said: "Hey, if your ass is so damn great, why don't you send a pic?" which in retrospect did not sound like a joke at all. She said she would if her boyfriend and best friend of mine gave me permission. Me, being the horny monster that I am, asked the boyfriend for permission and he said: "Yeah, I'll share anything for a brother"
After communicating that to his girl, she procceded to send the nude, to my surprise. This has continued without his boyfriend knowing that it wasnt a one time thing.
So Am I The Asshole for actively wanting his girlfriend to send more nudes? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
dKs9vfzUFJ1V1CFO2AJ9Tmp39jHEBFE4 | b3oeli | {
"description": "not wanting to be out of pocket to return keys",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to be out of pocket to return keys? | I stayed in my boyfriend's house last night. We both left for work at the same time this morning, and half way down the road I realised I left my phone under the pillow. He had no time to go back as he needed to catch a specific train so I took his keys and got it myself. The problem then was that we don't work near each other and I would have no chance during the day to return them.
​
I called him when I got into the house and offered to hide the keys in a pile of stuff he has in the porch ready to go to a charity shop and he said no (understandable). When I was on the bus I called him again to discuss what to do, and he said I should put them in a taxi to his job. I work in the City Centre and he works out in a suburb and the total cost would be around €25-€30 so I said no. I offered three alternatives:
1) I meet him during his commute home, he wouldn't even need to step off the train.
2) I could take the bus out to where he works and give them to him if he's staying in the area late.
3) I could go to his house when he needs to get in, then go home to my own place from there.
​
Each of these options would take 2+ hours out of my evening.
​
He refused all of these saying they were too much hassle. At this point we started to argue and fair enough, it was my mistake that I needed to go back and I did technically cause this annoyance, but I don't think it's that big of a deal or anything to fight about, especially considering I'm offering to do all that running around. He won't be home until 6:45 at the absolute earliest yet he's still demanding I get the keys to him by 5:30. This would mean me leaving work early to bring them, or footing that taxi bill. I ended up scoffing about how big of a deal he was making this and calling him unreasonable before hanging up.
​
I was thinking about it then, and rang him back offering to compromise and pay half of the taxi fare, he could pay whatever was left when the keys arrived. He said no and hung up. I'm in work now way more upset than I should be, and unable to concentrate on my work because I'm worrying about this simple problem being a huge argument.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
fSYRZ4i3EswB2nkeVzBVHHFpCwk0Dz86 | acncm0 | {
"description": "removing someone's foot from the back of my chair in a lecture",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for removing someone's foot from the back of my chair in a lecture? | OK so this happened a few months ago but I still have no idea what to think so I'll ask you guys.
I was in my first lecture for this class and I sat near the front. I don't usually go to the front, but I did this time for some odd reason. Anyways, about 5 minutes into the lecture, I felt a foot on my chair. An annoyance, but whatever, I just tried to ignore it.
Then it got further and further into my back. Her entire foot was basically shoved right up my arse. I couldn't believe it! I didn't want to interrupt the lecture by talking so I tapped it, thinking they'd get the hint. And tapped it some more. And some more. Until finally I just grabbed it and took it off my chair.
Then this woman started getting very upset and and complaining to me. I didn't turn around to acknowledge her and just watched the lecture, and my lecturer just motioned for the conversation from her to stop for now.
After the lecture finished, she berated me and shouted at me that I had attacked her, and that I 'almost broke' her foot. She was making it out like I'd mangled it, but I grabbed it fairly lightly, and just took it off my chair. But she was making a scene, kicking and screaming. The works. She kept saying to me 'I'm a 40 year old woman. You do these things to 40 year old women?'. I don't understand what she meant really, because I didn't even see who she was when I touched her foot. I politely said to her that she should know not to put her feet on other people's seats if she's 40 years old, and she should know better. This just seemed to make her worse, and then the lecturer stepped in and put a stop to it and just sent us on our way.
People were giving me really dirty glances as I walked away, and some guy that I later befriended told me that he thought I was just being a dick to her because he didn't have any idea what was going on and just saw her screaming at me.
I do fully admit that I probably should have turned around and asked her to remove her foot from my arse, but I was really frustrated with it, and I didn't think I needed to tell a grown adult how to be a normal functioning adult. I thought the taps would be enough of a hint for someone.
So reddit, am I the asshole here for removing her foot from my chair? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
bwkqM6ySTb3wCTOcEHn5fvta2tzu0dKW | akclae | {
"description": "telling my family to stop contacting my friends/people close to me",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 26
} | AITA for telling my family to stop contacting my friends/people close to me? | A couple of years ago my family (mom, dad, and little brother) moved out of state, about a 15 hour drive away. Usually I call them pretty regularly, anywhere from 1-3 times per week. The past couple of weeks I've been pretty busy and haven't had time to call them. My mother tried calling me once in the first week but I was about to head into a movie with friend. My father and brother both called me the second week (same day) but I had a girl over at my place and didn't want to talk with them while she was there. By the way, I texted my mom that I was heading into a movie when she called me and texted my dad that I would call later.
The day after my dad and brother called me, I start getting texts from other friends and even my landlord asking if I'm ok. Apparently my parents and brother started texting everyone I know, asking if they had seen me recently and if any of them knew if I was alright. Here's the thing though, I know they did this because they were worried about me. When I was much younger I went through a bad depression and tried to kill myself a couple of times. That being said, that was close to a decade ago and I really haven't been depressed since then, with the exception of a minor day or two episode here or there (which have been so minor I never bothered telling my parents). I haven't seriously contemplated suicide since my last attempt, not even in the slightest. Also, no one in my life with the exception of my family knew about the depression/suicide attempts.
But since my family kind of blew up my spot, I've had to have some uncomfortable discussions with some of my friends who became concerned out of my family's concern. I did not want to discuss my mental health with my friends, especially because it was so long ago. I flipped out on my mom (she was the ring leader in all of this) and told her that I dont want her contacting any of my friends again, for any reason. I also told her if she pulled something like this again, I wouldn't speak/call the family for double the amount of time I was not in contact with them. For example, I didn't speak with my family for a couple of weeks before they started calling all of my friends. If they did it again, I purposefully wouldn't speak with them for 4 weeks. My mom cried and my dad wants me to apologize, so I want to know, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 26
} | WRONG |
adQxEngHgQbuujsP4OjK8qrtE5qo2eB8 | 9v4rin | {
"description": "being offended that my HS friends gave neither gift nor card to my husband and me for my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being offended that my HS friends gave neither gift nor card to my husband and me for my wedding? | I am in my 30s, and so are my friends.
I recently got married in St. Paul, and I had some friends from my HS travel from out of state (Georgia, Florida, Ohio) to attend. Each of them paid airfare and Airbnb fees to attend, which I agree is very generous. I never expected ANY kind of gift from any of them, but it would have been nice to expect some kind words written in a card.
AITA for expecting at least a card??
P.S. I also mentioned to my best friend of the group how I didn't receive a card from anyone in the group. He said he didn't know people gave cards at weddings (Uh, what is that huge box with cards on the entrance tables for anyway???) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
mdO7eInJghNMIzPjFJKHGCXIJJyOnNeA | acxpzv | {
"description": "wanting to transfer money that I owe to my ex",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to transfer money that i owe to my ex? | hey, so i broke up recently with my ex-gf. all sad and stuff, but i owed her some money she lended me while on the relationship. i wanted to give it back to her when i could.
so january comes, and she texts me saying that she needs the money *physically". here's where the problem starts, since i was gonna be in town half a day & then travel to the beach for most of the month, and she needs it before the 11th, which means i cant give her the money in hand, but i do own a card that can transfer money, so a plausible solution to me was to transfer her the money.
she gets mad AF because i "just couldn't give her her money" and i'm confused; why all the trouble about this? its a reasonable solution and possibly the only solution.
i text her about this and she says she doesn't want to "get scolded" by her parents and i assume she's hiding something from her parents about, whatever, which is absolutely none of my business. so in respect of her privacy i offer further solutions, like transferring the money to one of her sisters which she is really close to..
she gets more mad and i'm more confused than ever. my last solution is transferring to a friend in common and she can give her the money.
she accepts but really petty about it, like "yeah that'll do i guess, thanks for nothing" kinda shit
so, am i the asshole or what? im confused and i just wanna be even and cool with her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0SJNl211LN7vNMvEkcydhgvY9IFJtYVR | a13z7o | {
"description": "not wanting to work over 40hrs a week",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to work over 40hrs a week? | I have been at my place of work for about 5 months now. I work full time for a clothing company in a large shopping mall. I don’t mind the work I do, I wouldn’t say it’s particularly enjoyable but it’s definitely not the worst job I’ve had. I don’t know how to define my position in the company, I am sort of a manager, but at the same time I don’t get payed manager pay (I get a dollar and a half above min wage) and I have less responsibilities than the other managers, however, I still work full time and am in the manager group chat. Anyway, we’ve had a particularly busy period at the moment with Black Friday and Christmas coming up. My shifts are usually from about 10am - 7pm, but recently I’ve been having to stay later due to the increase in customers. I don’t mind staying 15mins or half an hour later to get some tasks done (I usually stay till about 7:30pm anyway) but a couple of the other managers have been asking me to stay 2-3 hours more each shift, and they get annoyed when I say I need to go home. I worked from 10am-10pm two days ago and I worked for an extra hour yesterday. I’m 20 years old and am the youngest “manager” on the team and I don’t really see myself perusing this job much further. I don’t really have the motivation to work for 12hrs straight each day. I’m trying to learn to code in my free time and I also make music, which is probably the thing I look forward to most when at work, but lately I have not had much time to do either of these things. One manger in particular gets on my case about having a “bad work ethic” for not staying later. She sat me down the other day and told me I needed to be doing a minimum of 44hrs a week. When I started the job I was told I would be contracted for 32hrs a week but would most likely be doing 40hrs as it is a busy store. I don’t see why I should be working more than 40 hours a week though, when I don’t get overtime pay or commission? This is my first full time job so maybe I’m the one in the wrong, but it doesn’t seem right to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
t6TuiOcZ7J59mGfWr2NQmQQhPCA1EPrK | 9uyha1 | {
"description": "wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to move out | So I'm 18 (19 in a few weeks) & live in the UK. I have a stable job & a boyfriend (I'm gay). Looking to save up enough to buy/rent/shared ownership an apartment. Thing is my mother (56) struggles a lot with health & finance issues (fibromyalgia, back, arthritis). Mentally she isn't great either. This has had a knock on affect on me hence why I'm on a anti-depresents & can barely stand living in our house. The issue is I'm worried about what could happen if I did. On one hand I would be much happier & probably healthy too with someone I love. On the other I'd have to leave my mother on her own which as described above would probably end badly. I'm so fucking sick of it too. I've been dealing with this since I was as young as 12-13. While others played I looked at price comparison websites, interest rates & insurance. While others talked to their parents she talked to me. I am being selfish? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PM1LNd0ERwqPOCTJCY8d8gqfMuEYIDNj | aonssv | {
"description": "cancelling an introductory political meeting when the person I was meeting with wanted me to meet at their office rather than at the coffeeshop",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cancelling an introductory political meeting when the person I was meeting with wanted me to meet at their office rather than at the coffeeshop? | So I work in politics, and a political organization in my community has a new Director. I thought I would set up an introductory meeting so we can get to know each other, learn their priorities for the organization, etc. This person doesn't have any political experience with the party, and I've been involved for several years and I work for an elected official who is well respected. I felt like I could give them some good advice.
We set up a 9am coffee for today. Last night, they texted me that they didn't get off work until 1am, so could we move our 9am to an afternoon?
I said, no worries, afternoons are harder for me, but I can make it work, just not today. Let me know some time that works for you in the next few weeks and we'll find a good time to grab a coffee.
They then waited a few hours to text me back to say, rather than go out for a coffee (mind you, we agreed on a coffee shop a block away from their office for convenience), could I bring my own coffee to their office to meet there? Their rationale was "it's just easier to be close to my things at all times right now". That's a direct quote.
???
I find this extremely rude as I was trying to be nice/welcoming to them in their new position with the political organization. I get that they're busy learning their new role, but I feel like them asking me to bring coffee to sit at their office so they can work in between our conversation is tasteless in a job that's all about relationship building. How can we possibly talk if she is in her office answering the phones and putting out fires at the same time?
AITA If I just cancel the meeting altogether? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2WAHmup7RyMruNxc68eXSoT5k8FMRaPG | b049wz | {
"description": "not helping my ex with university stuff I promised I'd help with",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not helping my ex with university stuff I promised I'd help with? | Six months ago I (24) met this girl (22) in a club who I really liked, she had a boyfriend so we just became friends all the time and I was really into her (never tried anything because I hate cheating). After about a month she broke up with her boyfriend (not because of me) after 4 years and I asked her out. She told me we can be friends with benefits but nothing more. Surely enough I slowly fell into love with her and was really sad she was sleeping with other guys, but that was the deal since the beginning and I had to accept that. I was treating her like I would treat my girlfriend and she slowly fell into love as well. Still being with others.
She was changing her mind all the time within minutes - for example: Wanting to stay with me for a weekend (as she lived in a different town 3 hours away), making plans and the next hour deciding to go home and we should end things. It was really a nightmare. After a few months, we got together, she needed help with her bachelor thesis and other stuff at her university, so I promised I would help her. I was helping her, she got sick so I took care of her and was working on her thesis. As I was working on it and taking care of her I saw her on the phone all the time texting all the time, I didn't pay too much attention to it. Then she went out drinking and I was picking her up at the club, she was hammered, we got home, went to sleep, I woke up and was working on her project again, she was still sick so I was cooking for her, taking care, while she was still texting so I was like okay, strange. She said it's the friend who got her drunk last night and that I she told me how she really likes when someone shows her attention and likes her and stuff, which kinda got me sad because I was doing everything just not texting her as she was in a different room in my apartment. She said she will stop and she is sorry she was flirting with him the other night (which I did not know). I am not really a jealous type but given the past experience with her and me always having 6-8 years older girlfriends (wy different mindset) I did not like it so I told her I would like her to stop (she knew him only for a while). She told that she will try to stop, she did not, next week it happened all over again (flirting and idk what else) and there were multiple guys involved so I decided to end it with her because I could not trust her (we were just two weeks together, in a relationship). She was like okay but will you still help me with the thesis and we can be friends, right? I refused because I do not like when people take advantage of me and even though I am friends with all my exes it takes few months to be able to be friends with someone you had feelings for. She got mad that I promised to help her and now she does not know if she will be able to finish it on time.
So AITA for not keeping my promise which I gave her before? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
eZym4GPCAsIGOWisnkW3yhljtvjasaHT | b13pgr | {
"description": "not asking my dad to add my wife's name to the house deed",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not asking my dad to add my wife’s name to the house deed? | My wife and I have been married for five years. During this time she has been the breadwinner and I am a housedad at home taking care of our one year old. We purchased a small home at the beginning of our marriage together that we both paid into the down payment for, and both of us own the home. Now that our child is growing older, my dad who is fairly wealthy wants to buy a 400k+ house in his name so we can live there rent free and raise our kid, while renting out the smaller home. He also said he would leave the home to me in his will, as I am his only son.
When I told my partner “my dad wants to buy a place for us to live in”, she responded by asking whether if we would be the owners of the home or would he. I was a bit taken aback and said that my dad is purchasing it so of course it would be his name on the deed. She became very angry and said that if he wants to buy us a house, then why doesn’t he buy it for us instead of buying it then having us live in it and paying for the taxes. I responded by saying that we would be living there rent free and that it would be a very gracious gesture, and that it would be really bad for me to ask my father to buy it for us outright.
She was extremely upset for about two days and said that my father is doing this to exclude her from the family, and that if he was not, he should just add our names to the deed. I said that for a 400k purchase he would probably wants to own it until he passes away, to which she responded that no, he just wants to control the house so if she and I broke up then she wouldn’t get anything. This came out of the blue for me as we have not had major problems in the marriage and I am fairly sure that my dad would not do something with that intent.
As of this morning she has cried and told me that she is tired of “doing all the work” and being the income earner while my dad is “thinking up ways to get rid of her”. I was very upset but I didn’t know what to say except to deny it, which made her even more angry. She left the house slamming the door.
My wife comes from a very poor rural family in Kentucky and has built herself up to her current job as a nurse over many years. She doesn’t talk to her family because they mistreated her in her early years. I respect her immensely and recognize her lack of communication to her family may contribute to this, but I just can’t picture myself going to my dad and asking him to buy the house in our name.
Am I the asshole for not being able to do so?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
uqh5dKgH62i8AoG1dhXogv01byY9syPH | atsi0j | {
"description": "rescinding a date offer since she decided to bring a friend on a relatively expensive first date",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for rescinding a date offer since she decided to bring a friend on a relatively expensive first date? | Made this account just to post this.
I met a girl through online dating. I was very into her. Unlike most other people, she was willing to have long verbose conversations with me with before we even broached the topic of dating. We’ve been talking for over two weeks now, usually sending about two long messages each per day(usually about three paragraphs each). So anyway, earlier today, I asked her out. She said yes!
So then we started working out logistics for what we were going to do tomorrow, where we would go and whether I’d pick her up or she’d meet me there.
I gave her four options, and without going into detail let’s say the options were going to a park, rock climbing, ice skating, or going to a very unique, but expensive, museum. The museum is right up my alley and we’d discussed this kind of thing during our conversations. She’d expressed interest in seeing it so I was happy to take her. She chose the museum. But she also said “Oh, I’m also bringing a friend if that’s okay.”
Tickets are over $50 per person(not including refreshments, as there is a unique bar there that we’d definitely want to go to as well), which is, again, fine. I offered, and I wouldn’t expect anyone to pay that amount on a first date, so I’d be willing to foot the bill. But paying for a friend out of nowhere is pretty weird if you ask me.
On top of that, I would have been completely fine if she would have said, when I asked her out that she didn’t feel comfortable meeting me for the first time by herself but that she wanted to meet me and if it was okay to bring a friend along.
The way she said it, I no longer really had a choice in the matter. I can’t really say “I’m actually not okay with you bringing a friend.” That would be weird. I also can’t say “Well, is your friend paying for their own ticket?” which is also weird.
So I took a different option, which was “I’m sorry, I don’t think this will work out. I wanted to go on a date, and if you want to bring a friend then you don’t want what I’m looking for. Best of luck finding what you want.” She just responded “WTF” and neither of us has texted the other beyond that.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
fya0vfIraizpumle7AGzE1xkq0okTXLV | awxapw | {
"description": "taking out the trash",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA Taking out the Trash | Let me first say/clarify that I love my roommates, that being said I need to vent about something they do... Whenever they “take out the trash” They simply pull the bag from the bin tie it closed and leave by the door(or sometimes leave it in the kitchen!) instead of talking in out to the dumpster which is just outside of our apartment... Whenever I take out the trash I always take the bag to the dumpster, I feel like I am always the one who is taking the stinky bag out to the dumpster regardless of who took it out of the bin...Am I the one in the wrong here? Am I expecting too much of them? Let me know, I don’t mind being called out if I’m the one that is wrong, I just can’t help feeling the one who takes out the trash should also take it to the dumpster, but maybe I’m wrong... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XPIXxpU2wv7BmFyEqYqt0QwrpBc3FsEA | alfige | {
"description": "not wanting to attend/participate in a coworkers baby-shower",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to attend/participate in a coworkers baby-shower? | Both these coworker are shit talkers who will look you in the eye, smile and then talk shit about you when you leave the room. I’ve seen them in action so may times and Ive decided to keep my distance. They’re horrible people and I honestly can’t stand both of them. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jqwKteKpTLOYSsObskqjdETgXicnGgpZ | axogzl | {
"description": "breaking up over text/ leading her on",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For breaking up over text/ leading her on? | I've been seeing a girl for a little less than a week, we went on a date, our first and last, this Friday.
She expressed interest, so I asked her to the movies, thinking i might feel a spark if we hung out in a different context.
She very quickly started referring to us as boyfriend and girlfriend, dating, etc, and added my name to her Instagram bio. I was only interested in a few casual dates, so I realized pretty quickly that I needed to get more invested or break things off.
The date comes and goes- no spark. I didn't know how to course correct immediately, so- and this is what I suspect to be the asshole move- I kinda played along. I agreed with her that it was a good time, and texted her that I hoped to see her on Monday.
Monday falls through, I can't make it to campus. I felt like a dickhead for leading her on, so I sent her a text last night.
I figured it would be fine- we only went on one date, so it's nbd if it doesn't work out, right?
She replied that she wanted to talk earlier this morning.
Am I the asshole for breaking up through text/not being clear sooner? Or am I in the clear, since the one date = changing your relationship status misunderstanding wasn't my fault? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
UO5llg8M0Io5ZlnxhGcjY5nT7KZ6Ujjq | amhkrr | {
"description": "the situation spiraling out of control",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for the situation spiraling out of control? | Throwaway.
I started working for this company a few years ago and in the beginning, all seemed nice. There's this one coworker we'll call Z. After a while, Z started having some jealousy issues, became more snarky and manipulative, and yelled at me over very mundane things. Even in situations where I had to ask Z a question about something I didn't understand, Z would answer in a tone that was very condescending and belittling as if it's something I should have known already. They're pretty much one of the people you'll read about on r/iamverysmart.
My other coworkers soon told me about their issues with Z and all the mental and emotional harassment they received from them, so it wasn't just me who felt this way. There were even many times that we reported to our supervisor (SV) our problems, and it would solve things but only for a short while and Z would go back to their old ways. This was pretty much a cycle every few months because SV would always give Z the benefit of doubt even though many coworkers complained to SV about the same thing.
One of my coworkers eventually quit, and they hoped that their quitting would alleviate some of the tension with Z since they got along the least among us. Things were peaceful for a while, but again Z eventually when back to their old ways once the high of that coworker quitting was over. The harassment got even worse now that there were less people in our department.
I had suffered from depression when I was younger and beat it about two years ago, but I started noticing some of the symptoms again such as insomnia, loss of appetite, lack of motivation, and just constantly feeling like shit everytime I went to work. I started having some weird chest/heart pains. I had just thought that my heart murmur was coming back too but when explaining it to my friend, they told me that it was anxiety.
After a huge mental breakdown, I decided that enough was enough and put in my 2 weeks. I was hoping that it'd be a peaceful 2 weeks, and that I would leave quietly like my coworker, but HR saw some red flags since it was only a few months since my coworker left. HR asked me to speak to them and tell them why I decided to quit. I hate being a snitch and throwing people under the bus, but I told them why I was leaving. They pleaded with me to stay, bargaining my time, pay, etc., but I was very adamant about leaving to take care of my health. HR told me that they wanted to talk to Z about what they've done, and I requested that they talk to Z after my final day to prevent anymore issues or retaliation. They denied my request and told me they were going to speak Z that day because they wanted to make the environment as comfortable as they possibly can to change my mind. Unfortunately, that completely backfired because work has never been more uncomfortable for me.
My other coworkers and supervisor were also called to speak to HR, and because the problem was never resolved and escalated to that extent, they had gotten written up. I never expected me quitting to snowball into this large of a problem, and I feel guilty that my coworkers had gotten written up because I never wanted to involve them in this. AITA for this situation spiraling out of control? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XWXW12gi0QFOpb8uc413dqZAIPNVSHDB | ak4tbu | {
"description": "asking a friend to pay me back for a movie ticket",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking a friend to pay me back for a movie ticket? | **TL;DR :Friend refuses to pay me back because he didn’t ask for my convenience.**
Note: Everyone’s name has been changed for privacy reasons.
October of last year, 3 friends of mine all wanted to see a movie premiere 4 hours from the time it begins. So last minute planning, everyone was certain that the theater was gonna be packed, and no time slots would be available. Being the person glued to my phone among my friends, I suggested to them that I have an app that can buy the tickets online, and just pay me back whenever. The agreement was unanimous, so I went ahead and bought everyone a ticket, total was $52.36 (online convenience fee sucks). I got the tickets and even managed to reserve the seats.
Fast forward to the movie, it was packed. Nearly all seats were taken, and if I didn’t reserve them ahead of time, we’d all be separated throughout the theater. Movie turned out okay imo, but it was a good night.
After the movie, Mike suggested that we go to B-Dubs for dinner. I made a reminder to them of the equal split of the movie tickets to pay me back and even bothered to waive the convenience online fee, so everyone would have owed me $11.44, and that you have the option to cover me at the restaurant and I’ll drop the charge for that individual.
We’re at the restaurant and Ross decided to take my offer and pay me back, but he had the added benefit of covering me and only paying $8 for my dinner. So I’m my eyes Ross has payed his debt in full. This was commonly deemed fair among our group. Allen wanted me to add it to his tab, so I did. He payed me back the tab 3 days later.
Mike was the last that owed me the cost for the ticket. Two weeks went by and I decided to ask him when will he pay me back (I even showed him he receipt). He argued that he didn’t ask for me to cover him despite agreeing to go to the movie with all of us and agreeing that I reserve the ticket for him so that we will not get separated. I argued that he was going to spend money for the movie ticket regardless, I just added the convenience for him so we won’t get separated in the theater. Allen is siding with me on this and Ross has no opinion, but Mike is still not convinced. This argument lasted for only a few minutes until we all got busy because of school. I pretended to forget about it for a few months.
Fast forward to today, I quietly dropped the charges of $11.44 as a “late Christmas present” because I didn’t want to deal with this anymore. But me being salty, I refused to do any future financial transactions with Mike. Other than that, we’re still cool as long as he’s not part of similar financial situations.
Was I being an Asshole doing all this?
Edit: The movie was Halloween (2018)
Edit 2: I don’t round up or down what people owe me. $11.44 is $11.44, I’ll even take them in pennies. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qvlyvg8wYYv4kU9usOkRGSomQVffZKA5 | b1bxch | {
"description": "wanting some damn sleep",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting some damn sleep? | I'm sleep deprived right now in work, sipping an energy drink. The same situation I've found myself in for a while now. I work 6am-2pm every other week and 2pm-10pm the other week if that makes sense. I have to be up at 4am and so I go to bed early. Like 9pm or 10pm. Trouble is, that's when my jerk of a brother wakes up and goes on his pc. He's always on his freaking pc and he eats and eats. He's lazy, his room smells and he is always shouting and yelling at his games. He has college 2 days a week but he'll still go on that damn pc. I've told him to shut up and my mum is out of town for the weekend so she cant shut him up. Meaning I have to suffer. Its starting to impact my work and as I work in a warehouse, its dangerous to be tired in this environment. I've tried all sorts of things. I've listened to music to drown him out but he just goes louder, I've tried ear plugs but I can't hear my alarm. I've been late 3 times because of his antics and I'm worried if it happens again, I'll get sacked. Am I being selfish or is it right for me to want him to shut up? The least he could do is go on his pc after I go to bed but it's unlikely he'll do that as he never listens to me. I just want a decent night's sleep. It's not like I can move out either as I pay rent every week to my mum and that pays most of the bills. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
92xE9nOB5992vMea6BA5jFMs9D2Ba2xZ | avyfe9 | {
"description": "being highly insulted by the bare minimum refund I was given by a company, and demanding a much bigger one",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for being highly insulted by the bare minimum refund I was given by a company, and demanding a much bigger one? | I was given a gift card for a small/medium-sized company. The gift giver forgot to tell me the amount of $ on it, so I called their main # provided on the card. Their # is not toll free, so there was a very minimal charge that this call cost me. I was connected with a guy who, from the get go, had a negative attitude. When I gave a description of my card (brand/color etc.) along with the #, he swore the company makes no cards like that, speaking to me as though I am some type of extreme idiot, in the kind of tone you’d expect him to if someone called asking if his company sells condoms or porn. I politely made it clear to him that this was a real card and asked him to plug in the code, which he refused to do, continuing to run his mouth disrespectfully. Eventually, he **cursed** at me and hung up the call. I contacted my friend to find out the amount on my card ($25), but not after sending a complaint email to the company.
My email was quite professional, polite and calm, but it summed up their employee’s horrendous behavior thoroughly; and told them I had had to pay a small amount of $ to call their line. It was a minimal amount, but I had the expectation they’d refund me a lot more, maybe $15, $20, $25+, considering how terribly I was treated. I assumed they’d read my professional email and feel extremely lucky to have me as a customer, as most other people would just send emails along the lines of “Fuck you!” and never give them another chance. I expected that a decent company would view me as a real gem of a customer and do whatever it took to woo me completely back, get me in the best of spirits, and work hard to build bridges with me.
The next day, I get a short email back from the manager/supervisor, containing a very basic, bare bones apology, quite minimal for the level of rudeness I experienced; and a promise that my account would be credited $2, which he stated “should more than cover whatever phone expenses you were charged for.” I feel **extremely** insulted and patronized by this. They expect me to jump with joy and feel completely made whole over getting **$2**? What type of cheap bastard and pauper do they think I am? For their knowledge, I have a quite decent job and a highly impressive level of savings for somebody my age.
I emailed back telling them that $2 is nowhere near enough considering how vilely I was treated. I make it clear I expect a minimum of $25 (equal to the amount I already have) credited to my card, or else I will give them a one star review on Yelp (considering they don’t have a ton of Yelp reviews, this would bring their score down) and post all about the incident on Facebook, discouraging people from purchasing from them. I have yet to hear back from them, having just sent the email fairly recently, but hope very strongly that they take me seriously. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 23
} | WRONG |
IGu9l5kUoxH6auefmhUBwShP3bdqshT1 | b31lal | {
"description": "wanting to sell pre-purchased tickets to a music festival to my now ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting to sell pre-purchased tickets to a music festival to my now ex-girlfriend? | Last November I bought tickets to a two day music festival, happening this weekend, for my then girlfriend and me but I recently decided that I needed some time off of the relationship.
She's unable to work due to crazy college schedules but her parents do very well so I know she doesn't technically have money but *in a way* she does.
The total for the 4 tickets was $363.
Today she texted me and offered to buy two tickets from me for $100. I told her I would sell at full price because I needed to take care of my money; also, that if she could only afford one ticket, she should buy only one ticket. She said "Well, I know we're not together anymore and you're not going to gift me the tickets, but it's a bit shitty, since you're supposed to have bought them for me months ago".
I feel kind of guilty.
AITA for wanting to sell at full price or for wanting to sell at all?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
g4zogjEdkSreYvp180y33FjcoU8Pj2o3 | anzjni | {
"description": "wanting to rehome my little sisters aggressive dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to rehome my little sisters aggressive dog? | I'm typing this on my phone, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. TLDR at the bottom.
So about 5 years ago, I got a dog. She is a pit mix. Superrr well behaved, and super friendly to everyone and everything. At the time, I was living at my parents house. I ended up moving away for about a year. And in that time, my parents let my little sister get a rottweiler. My dad was super against it. Because he knew my sister would end up just not taking care of it. But my mom let her get it anyways. And of course, that's exactly what ended up happening. She pretty much moved out a year later. All her stuff if still here, but she only stays here like one or two nights a month, and it's been that way for years. She does absolutely nothing to take cars of this dog, and never really has. My parents do.
I moved back about a year later. And at first? The dogs were fine. We also had one more little dog, a martese. As well as two cats. As time went on, my sister dog became more and more aggressive towards the other animals in the house. I said from the very beginning that if her dog starts trying to hurt all the other animals? It needs to go. Because it's not fair to all the other animals. I went on a 2 week vacation, to come home and find out that my parents rehomed MY two cats, because apparently my sisters dog had gotten violent with them, and tried to kill both of them. I was fucking livid. But there was nothing I could do about it..
About a month later? My sisters dog starts straight attacking my dog at every chance she can get. To the point where they absolutely cannot have any contact whatsoever. My sisters dog is a lot bigger , and could easily kill mine. Especially because my dog doesn't fight back. She is not aggressive at alllll. She has never been the instigator. We have to have a huge gate in the middle of our house to seperate them. And it's just a huge pain in the ass. All it will take it one person leaving the gate open, or mindlessly letting one of the dogs in the back without checking to make sure the other one is inside, to start a fight. That's either going to end in my dog dead, or a huge vet bill I will be responsible for. And ever sense my sisters dog started attacking mine, it has caused her to be so scared of other dogs. When she used to love other dogs. I can tell it's really had an effect on my dog. Any time she starts to run around and play, my sisters dog goes into instant attack mode, growling and trying to break down the gate. So now my dog is scared of playing in her own damn house.
The last stray just happened. Last week, while I was staying the night at a friends house, apperently my sisters dog attacked and KILLED our other maltese. So obviously, I told my family, that this is fucking bullshit. My sisters dog is really sweet when it comes to humans, but not animals. Obviously she is a danger to my dog. And it's not fair that my dog has to live in terror. It's not fair that both of our cats had to be ripped from their home because of her. It's not fair that our other dog just got KILLED for no fucking reason. I reccomend rehoming her to sombody who doesn't have any animals. And my sister FLIPPED the fuck out on me. Saying it's my dog that should go. And its "not fair" that my dog would get to stay. My parents don't really have much to say about it. They try to avoid confrontation. But now my sister is super mad at me. Am I the asshole?
TLDR- I got a dog, & moved out of my parents house. When I moved back a yr later my sister had got a dog. She doesn't take care of the dog. She doesn't even live at home anymore w/ the dog. The dog is VERY aggressive to my dog. To the point of them needing to be separated at all times. My parents got rid of my 2 cats because her dog tried to kill them, instead of getting rid of her dog. Then her dog killed our maltese. I said we should re home her dog to sombody who dosent have any other animals. And my sister flipped out on me. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
j9VNgmMCelDhKnZWfOADPQIwIOwxzesF | achzge | null | AITA- Festival ticket edition | Backstory; last year I had to sell my ticket to a festival because the other supervisor was in Portugal that week. I did so freely. I've been to that fest three times already.
Just now I put a message in our group chat about who wants what for our summer holidays dates. I mentioned I want to clear 18-23 July this year bc I didn't get to go to the fest last year.
She messaged back that she had been planning on going too & was talking about it to our colleagues whilst I was out on sick leave, drumming up excitement for herself. She has never been before, this would be my 4th time, but not since 2016.
Whos in the right or wrong here? Should I push ahead- I've had to previously sell my Tix on her behalf - or should I stand back - she's never been before.
Both of us have gangs of friends going, previously I've organized mini busses to bring us there & back. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
06P1Bkl6O5XdOLBJtAi68iUD4pwma2gL | ashlnw | {
"description": "not wanting to move in with my bf yet",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to move in with my bf yet? | I love my boyfriend. Like a lot. Hes my world. I live in America and he in England. We've been dating for ever a year and I plan to visit him eventually but it makes him sad I'll have to go back home after. We do wanna live together eventually, especially because the free healthcare will help legit save my life.
But i don't want to just leave my life in the US full stop and head to the UK. I need to visit first and hes okay with it but it makes him sad when I joke about "lol hate this place. Omw to the UK" yknow. Stuff like that.
He just wants me to move in soon and I get it and if he lived in the US i honestly would. But its a completely different country and I need to visit so I know we'll be good irl and I can get a taste of how England is. Cause lets face it the US isnt great at telling us what other countries are like and I'll miss a ton of things I do like about the US. Mostly food items... Cause a lot of English candies and food taste gross to me. Don't @ me on that sorry I'm use to sugar filled garbage but its my garbage.
I'm trying to be understanding but he keeps getting so sad its gonna take years and even though hes fine and gets WHY i need to visit first he still gets huffy.. I love him and want to spend my life with the goof but Idk how to make him chill.
For some background he also has aspergers and bipolar disorder so I'm sure a lot of this is his brain thinking i dont like him or the wait being 10x longer than it'll actually be.
TLDR; English BF wants me to move in with him right away vs visiting and I just need to visit before I do that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YVCaNL2p6A16wXiCfOpPA2sGCK0j8vQb | ax6w2u | {
"description": "not wanting to spend my own money",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 77
} | AITA for not wanting to spend my own money? | Throwaway account.
My older brother (21) and I (18M) share a place together. We're both at university currently and each pay half the rent. For the past month, each time we went shopping for groceries and other necessity, we paid with my brother's card. Recently, he bought a video game and was now low on cash.
Now on Friday, we were out of food and needed to do grocery shopping again. I wasn't feeling up to going out so my brother said he'd do the shopping on his own, but he'll need my card since he was running low on cash, to which I declined. I had planned to visit my gf in Birmingham during the weekend (I told him about this prior), I didn't want to risk the chance that I might not have enough cash for all stuff I might end up doing there. I then bring up the fact that if he hadn't gone and bought that video game he could have funded groceries. He didn't argue about it and just let it be, but I could tell he was upset about it. Was I in the wrong in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 77,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 77
} | WRONG |
HVcrtUkliOd35KuNqMCallmzigg19Y7R | 9z0a5q | {
"description": "taking a person's cart",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For taking a person's cart? | This may seem really stupid, but it's been stressing me out.
Recently, I had to go out shopping for a few items with my mother. She had her hands full and asked me to grab a cart for her while she looks around a bit more. Since the carts were at the front of the store, I had a bit of a walk.
As I approached the shopping cart area, I noticed a person that seemed to be having a troubled time putting the cart back. I kindly suggested: "I can take that from you." To the lady, and she gave me quite the nasty look.
She let go of the cart, and just simply said: "Fine, here." And walked over to another cart, and started fumbling with it.
I realized that I fucked up, and I sorta let out a sarcastic-sounding, panicked "sorry" before scampering off with the cart.
TLDR: Walked up to shopping carts, saw person having trouble with cart, asked if I could have it, and she gave it to me, started having trouble with another cart. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vSiWNvRWBYM6ou2EO1oA79J0THtgVLdR | acxv4o | {
"description": "favoring one of my brothers in writing my recommendation letter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for favoring one of my brothers in writing my recommendation letter? | So I'm a senior in high school, currently in the stressful process of college applications. For one of my schools, I need a peer recommendation (a letter written by a friend/classmate/sibling/etc.), and because I'm shy and don't have any close friends at school, I wanted to ask my brother to write it for me. The thing is, I have two brothers, and I am definitely closer to one of them--I'll refer to him as B1. B1 and I have similar interests in science and similar personalities, so we get along pretty well. B2 is more of a social butterfly, and we are not as close.
I decided to send B1 a message asking him to write the rec letter, and he agreed. The reason I chose him instead of B2 is because 1) we are closer as I mentioned and 2) I felt like he would be able to write a more genuine account of myself as a person, whereas B2 is a business major and I was scared he would kind of lie about who I am...idk. Obviously I didn't want B2 to find out that I asked B1 because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But then my mom came along. My mom found out that I could ask a sibling to write the letter and immediately told B2 to write it, without even discussing with me beforehand. She came upstairs to tell me, and I told her quietly that I already asked B1. Mom says oh, she didn't know, which is fair. But then she goes back downstairs and TELLS B2 that I asked B1, which I didn't want to happen. And she STILL ASKS B2 to write his own letter, because she thinks B2 can write it better as a business major. (I could hear her say this from upstairs.) I'm just really upset because I feel like my mom is just taking matters into her own hands without considering how I feel. And this is MY college application, after all.
I know I should be appreciative of B2 for even agreeing to write the letter, an especially so after finding out I already asked B1. But it just isn't what I had in mind. As of now both brothers are going to write a letter and I will choose which one to submit. Not that I will even be allowed to read them, so wth. Honestly I'm already set on B1's letter and I'm just letting B2 write his because I can't just say that I don't care for his efforts. I know it's mean and causing B2 to go through unnecessary trouble for writing a letter but B2 and I disagree on a lot of things and I just feel like he secretly hates me because he's the middle child and I took all the attention away from him as a baby. So yeah there's some deep issues buried in our family and I know B2 still feels angry about it. Which is another reason why I don't want him to write my letter, not that I think he would try to sabotage my application but that he wouldn't write it from his heart. AITA for favoring B1? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
m25AkAl2UMMYSlt5zMwkgJhw55g4RM6k | ba6qg6 | {
"description": "blocking all contact with one internet \"friend\", at the expense of another",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for blocking all contact with one internet ”friend”, at the expense of another? | Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Also, I’m on mobile so sorry if there’s any formatting issues.
I (15M) am a part of an online friend group and have been for around two or three years, with a few of my buddies that live around me, and others that are scattered across the country. The online people had met with us over Xbox and it pretty much went on from there. G (14F) is a generally timid person, but has been made very uncomfortable by Q (19M) on numerous occasions. J (19M) lives near Q and they are very good friends.
Q was always a sketchy guy. The fact that he talks to us at all is strange considering his age, but that is the least of his issues. Q was always especially affectionate and kind whenever G was around, and it was just creepy, but we had not realized it before when we were younger. When G was 12 years old and Q was 17, Q had even asked her if “she trusted him with her nudes” and had mentioned that he “trusted her with his”. G was very uncomfortable and had obviously answered no. She only informed me and one other of my buddies of this a few months ago, and we have been much colder with Q since then.
Q has also talked to us a lot about his adult issues and even his sex life, and even if we told him to stop, he would simply talk about it another day. He is simply not welcome with us anymore. However, J is a different guy. He is far kinder, and cares about pretty much everyone in our group equally. It is still a little strange because he is an adult too, but he isn’t a predator, I hope. He is very, very depressed and struggles with it every day. We fear that if we were to kick Q out of all of our lives, it would hurt him. Q is pretty much his only real friend.
WIBTA if I, and everyone else in that group, blocked Q from every aspect of our lives, possibly hurting J too? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JjKiPSKUs618TfourwD0r46ogZHnZJHo | ay1zhq | {
"description": "not reaching out to my ex more to talk to his daughter",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not reaching out to my ex more to talk to his daughter? | Sorry for any bad formatting I'm on mobile. This is a long story so TL;DR at bottom.
So my ex and I were together for about two years before I got pregnant and shortly after I had our daughter things went downhill and we ended up breaking up. We didn't have a court custody agreement. We had agreed I would have our daughter on the week and he would have on the weekends. And for about 3 years of her life we did that. When our daughter turned about 3 1/2 we had changed our agreement so he would have her during the week and I had her on the weekends. Because I was moving and in between jobs we felt like it would be easier. This lasted about 6 months. During those six months I would call her throughout the week and try to see her to go to the park and stuff during the week day if I could. Once I moved and got my job we went back to our old set up with me having her full time. And for a few weeks that was great but after awhile my ex would stop calling to talk to her. My daughter who was four at the time would get upset so I told him he should try talking to her more and being a little more involved and he agreed. Fast forward a year she is now five and he hasn't called in more than 2 weeks and hasn't seen her for over a month. When I let him know his daughter is upset and he should be more involved he seemed irritated and said something to the effect of I don't ever ask him if he wants to call or see her so how would he know its okay. I was shocked by this as I have never once told him he couldn't call her or see her. I told him if he wanted to be involved he would make the time and I shouldn't remind him to be a dad.
TL;DR my ex is angry that I don't tell him to call his daughter when I have her full time.
AITA for not reaching out to my ex to tell him to call his daughter? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TXA8QJ5DKHLSYYgTIRyzTm2cSNxj18cy | 9xnmfm | {
"description": "being upset/disappointed my bf went and worked out when we had arranged to go to the cinema for a date without letting me know he was going to be late",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset/disappointed my bf went and worked out when we had arranged to go to the cinema for a date without letting me know he was going to be late? | Background: In a LTR living with my bf he's just changed jobs and I'm currently doing a master's with two submissions coming due. Time and money are extremely tight for us ATM.
As it says we'd arranged to see the new Harry potter movie today. We'd set a time that already had good buffing built In as bf was coming from work (about an hour away from where we live).
When he hadn't messaged about 45 minutes before the movie start time I texted him to check what his timeline looked like expecting he'd gotten held up at work (which is completely understandable and would not have bothered me in the slightest) turns out he'd spent the last half an hour working out at the calisthenics rig near his work.
He can't seem to understand why I'd be upset/disappointed (I'm not shouting or anything just a bit annoyed and hurt that he didn't even think to say and I've been waiting and really excited).
Now I kind of don't want to go see the movie because I don't want the fact that I'm in a bad mood to colour it shitty too.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Ea3PVDu1u4gY0GmYa4bN7TOX5QUWq2m2 | a6hktn | {
"description": "not accepting my boyfriend's apologies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not accepting my boyfriend's apologies? | My boyfriend and I have different ideas of what making up and apologizing should look like.
If I'm upset, I want to talk things through, and come to an understanding or conclusion. He wants to stay silent, hug it out or make jokes until things are better. I usually reject his hugs if I've just explained something that he did or does that really hurts me. Usually I'm pretty upset, and he stays silent, and just goes in for a hug. This hurts his feelings.
When it comes to apologizing, he often apologizes after a while if I'm upset over something and I won't let it go with a hug. I'll push and push for us to have a conversation, and he'll give me sad eyes and say he's sorry. But I want to talk things through, and for us to understand each other. Whenever we get to that point, a conversation after he's apologized, it comes out that he didn't think he did anything wrong, he thinks I'm overreacting and completely in the wrong, he's just apologizing because I am upset. Almost every time.
To me, if I don't think I'm in the wrong, I don't apologize. When I apologize I mean that I can now see how my actions were harmful, that I understand why he was upset, rightfully so, and that it's something that I need to work on to not do again.
He thinks this is a dumb criteria for an apology. He says a lot of the things that happen are just "subjectively" bad so if I get hurt it's just a subjectively hurt feeling based on who I am, but that what he does isn't objectively bad.
I mean it varies who's in the wrong obviously, but when I don't think I'm in the wrong, I don't apologize. I'll talk things through and try not to do them again, try to see his perspective and talk until we're on the same page, but I don't just apologize and stay silent apart from the apology. I feel like that should be reserved for cases when you acknowledge wrongdoing.
tl;dr: am I the asshole for not accepting my boyfriend's apologizing just because I'm upset, and not acknowledging wrongdoing on his part, thinking it's subjective? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fSyQybOHIforRlw3J2YpS4s7Kk2U9ptm | aubc59 | {
"description": "not giving my mom my tv",
"pronormative_score": 182,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not giving my mom my TV? | I’m 16 and still live with my parents. I got a job when I was 14 and have been saving up for my gaming setup. One of the items which I just got was a 65” curved tv. It was very expensive considering how much I make. I ordered the TV from Best Buy and it came in yesterday while my mom was home. She installed it into HER ROOM while I was at school. When I came back I noticed the box and thought she put it up in my room to surprise me. I walked into my room and there it was. My 30” TV from 4 years ago right where I left it. I talked to my mom and she said it’s not my TV. She said it’s the family TV. Even though I bought it and it’s in her room she still said it’s for the family. I was PISSED and was almost in tears. When she was away I uninstalled it and put it in my room and locked it down with a lock so it would not move. Well while I was at work today she found my key to the lock and took the TV AGAIN. I was so fucking pissed I screamed and cussed at her with ALL my power. She was crying after all was done.
I know that I overreacted in the end but it took several months to get that TV. She’s done things like this before with my car, but it was in my name so I threatened to bring her to court and she backed down.
AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 181,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 182,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
5BtEHqYvmxg0pLiNSq3HiHFrh5VgdAtw | amh6xb | {
"description": "not wanting to be my girlfriend's therapist",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be my girlfriend's therapist? | My girlfriend (20) and I (20) have been dating for a few months and I love her but recently her seemingly endless complaining is wearing me out. I understand that she is depressed and I have urged her to talk with a psychologist. It's just everything she says to me recently has been a complaint or a depressing thought. I've been depressed myself for a while so I understand that it's very easy to just fall into the trap of not fighting those thoughts (Not saying just be happy and you're cured). Recently I've just grown kinda tired of it cause it depresses me to see her so sad constantly. No matter what I say she says not able to find time to go see someone. I don't know AITA for not wanting to have to listen to her constantly say depressing stuff? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hX2FHWSRMJDCXsfwO7s54vvD6lWX426k | b4nvoa | {
"description": "telling my friend I had a sex dream about her",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for telling my friend I had a sex dream about her? | I (20M) had a sex dream about a girl in my social circle (19F) and when I was drunk we went to a night club and afterwards I told her I had a sex dream about her that she was so beautiful wirh nice body and tits.
I was drunk i wouldn't have said this if i wasn't but she shouted at me.
I realize it can be bad but i was drunk and plus it waa a complimenr as she gets with a lot of guys so i thoyght it wasnt that AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
1qOVzyPcpC9GM3FtqHXAyZwogWzqyYDz | b9xf0j | null | AITA because my dogs bark? | Happy fucking Friday. I just got home to a letter from my county animal control department that "one or more of your neighbors" have complained about your dog's barking. From the letter I have 7 days to correct the problem otherwise it could go before a judge. Fuck those people.
So for the background, I have three dogs. It is true that because I work I have to leave them outside most of the time. Here's the thing, they never bark when I'm home. However I have this extremely rude older neighbor who will bang on my door at all hours and tell me "your dogs barked all day long." I tell her that they aren't barking now and she tells me that she likes to stay up at night at sleep during the day. I tell her that's not my problem and I don't believe her anyways because I never hear my dogs bark. So its obvious who contacted animal control.
Am I the asshole or is this old woman just taking her boredom out on me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 27
} | WRONG |
wZuGceKdNnqXZSlrRiSrEC7Ni2Hdw5pI | aopx8i | {
"description": "refusing to eat my mother's food after finding she removed the lactose from it",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA For refusing to eat my mother’s food after finding she removed the lactose from it? | Hey, so, alt account because she checks my other one.
I’m 15, and have been waking up feeling sick my entire life. Not just that, but I’ve also had abnormal pooping... uhh... style.
I recently found out that, without my permission, she decided to remove all lactose from my meals, and forcing me to take what ever the fuck she’s been putting as substitute.
I immediately refused to eat any of her food due to her not telling me about it.
I know she wants what’s best for me, but could she AT LEAST of asked my permission, or even my opinion? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
JbY0dDmoEi8jNEHiA01LjhShmqSD12OS | aoeg53 | {
"description": "forcing my brother to do something else than Soccer",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA For Forcing My Brother (10) To Do Something Else Than Soccer? | I'm 22 and my brother is 10. For the past two years soccer was his obsession, the only thing he thinks about day and night are matches results and his collection of football cards. The only videogame he plays is FIFA and he already owns like 5 of them. It's not helping that my father isn't very conscious of the problem (if any, but for me there is) and talks with him only about soccer, stimulating no other interest.
​
I really don't like that, I want my brother to have some other interests as well: reading, films, videogames. I know he's quite young but I feel like there's something in every medium that is worth seeing for him. But he doesn't accept that, every moment he has some free time and I suggest us watching or doing something together he tells me "No I want to play FIFA"
​
Things I tried (so you can judge by yourself): Crash Bandicoot, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Disney Movies, Fantasy books for kids, other books for kids, Spyro.
​
Am I the asshole for trying to force those interests on him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
ddVdXqYorIhfRz5RHjaXc8CFWsbsjp8y | b76kck | {
"description": "saying slutty cosplay is weird",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for saying slutty cosplay is weird? | Throwaway account because I just don't want this on my actual account. This happened maybe 30 minutes ago too.
I was texting my boyfriend during our usual evening/goodnight conversations. He's into anime and follows a lot of cosplay accounts on instagram and sent me a post from one of those accounts. It wasn't provocative, just a guy with a wig and mask holding a cat. I said the cat was cute and mentioned that sometimes cosplay pages weird me out. This is essentially what the convo looked like:
Him: \*photo of cosplay guy holding a cat\*
Me: lol cosplay pages weird me out sometimes, that kitty is cute tho
Him: Lol that's the point
Me: to weird people out? lol cosplay itself doesn't weird me out, just slutty cosplays
He read the message but didn't respond after that, which he usually doesn't just leave me on read. I'm not really familiar with cosplay or anime in general apart from a few shows I watched in childhood, so I'm unfamiliar with the community (I have one schoolgirl-ish cosplay outfit that I bought totally on a whim) while he's very into it and goes to cons regularly. I also know that cosplay is a kink for him, so I'm really worried I offended him with my comment when that definitely wasn't my intention.
I asked one of my friends about it, and he said that I was harsh, and "I'm not into that stuff but even I felt a little bit attacked"
It really wasn't my intention to hurt or offend my boyfriend about what he likes, I was just saying it was weird to me. To me it just seems like a way to show off asses and tits and not cosplay because they're barely wearing costumes anyway, but again I don't know the community so I may just be missing something.
So AITA for saying that slutty cosplay is weird while knowing my bf was into it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
QRLLziOkoHf58I8aAQawbKoPQJUOaTbU | aixni9 | {
"description": "getting angry at my friend for splitting the bill on her bday party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for getting angry at my friend for splitting the bill on her bday party? | For the record, I was initially not even invited. It was only when one of our mutual friends suggested that she invite me. She takes us to a fancy place, pleads us to order food and drinks up to our satisfaction. When the bill was placed in front of her, she just glanced at it and placed it back in the folder. After 10 seconds, we realised she wasn't gonna pay and that's when we split it equally. It has been a well and I haven't talked or looked at her. Not that I'm broke or anything, but it's almost the end of the month and I could have easily had at least 8 meals in that amount.
TL;DR Friend invites me to bday party, realised the bill is too high, we split the bill | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
pVtcOWG1YLX2zgM7KbvGHJkFvCmfA5qP | b3vtrx | {
"description": "calling a friend out on not standing up for me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for calling a friend out on not standing up for me? | Me and a friend were in an elevator and a woman in her 50s comes in so I politely asked her “Ma’am, which floor?” so I could push the button for her. She answered and jokingly said I should call all women over 18 ma’am, not just older ones. So I looked at my friend and jokingly said “Look at you grandma!”, while exiting the elevator.
Later that day my friend told me the lady was very offended since she thought I was mocking her, talking how rude I was and stuff. I was not even talking to her but whatever, it’s a random lady. Thing is, my friend could have stood up for me but didn’t. Thing is, it’s not the first time she just does nothing when stuff like this happened. When I told her this, she got me at me for... I don’t know? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
LGhWWj1PEfX2vl7RXKTGmSzB8q9hcVhq | anoorh | {
"description": "wanting to take legal action because my ex who is 15 is dating a 23 year old man",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting to take legal action because my ex who is 15 is dating a 23 year old man? | So, you read the title.
I might just be jealous but I'm too naive to realise it.
Just to be clear, me and her are still good friends and we talk from time to time. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
r7qPaVrXReDA6xa7sRbVrQtsyl7ELR4w | abmv2j | {
"description": "throwing a snowball at my neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for throwing a snowball at my neighbor? | I was fooling around outside with one of my neighbors when he started throwing snowballs at me. It quickly got annoying, so I politely asked him to stop. He then whipped a big one at me, which missed. I chucked one at him but he ducked, and the snowball hit him in the face. He started crying and ran to his house. I apologized to him later, but I still feel bad about it. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qW5XG82PMjuJguviWoFziJygalBYPRvz | 9ydp2b | null | WIBTA of I asked to take a short vacation so soon after I started working? | I’m on mobile, excuse any formatting issues.
Some backstory: I’m currently taking a gap year, mainly to save for college. My aunt and uncle run a business and my aunt is short a person in her department, so she offered me the opportunity to work there. I said yes and my original plan was to work for her for a couple of months and then go home to do community college for a semester. However, the colleges I actually want to attend will not accept community college credits (because I wouldn’t have enough credit hours to transfer) and I honestly love working here and given that I’m 18 with just a high school diploma, the pay is amazing. Because of these reasons, I’ve decided I’m going to stay at my job instead of going home to attend community college. As much as I love working here, I was looking forward to seeing my friends and family after a couple of months again.
I started working here in November 2018. I’m able to use sick time in February 2019 and vacation time in November 2019. I was hoping to see my family sometime during mid-late January (~2 months after my initial hire date). I definitely don’t expect my aunt to let me use any of my sick/vacation hours early (if she lets me do it, she has to let everybody do it) so I’d just be asking for unpaid time off (which I understand and am fine with).
So would it be shitty of me to ask for some time off 2 months after I started working? It’s also noteworthy (sorry idk where else to put this detail) that the reason I want to make a quick trip to see my family now is because the company gets very busy during summer and the months leading up to it, so I feel like now would be the most courteous time to take some unpaid time off to see friends and family before I get too swamped with work to do so. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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sFF3hSUKUpQxOmx51EBuZyogVGYqubOD | at05f7 | {
"description": "riding my bike on the sidewalk with my dog off leash",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA For riding my bike on the sidewalk with my dog off leash? | Posting from mobile, sorry for any formatting errors.
So today after work i got home and decided to get my dog (Koda) some exercise. I usually just ride my bike around the neighborhood with her a couple times. She is very good about staying close to me, but occasionally she will see a dog, run over and say hi, then continue following me. So today i was riding my bike on the sidewalk with Koda following me and a man and his two dogs come around a blind corner. I wasn’t anywhere near hitting the man or his dogs, but Koda decided to stop and say hi to the dogs. When i went to call Koda back over, the man was visibly pissed. He started yelling to me saying “riding your bike on the sidewalk?? With your dog off leash??” Now Koda is the sweetest dog i know, and I’m not just saying that. I have never worried about having her off leash and have never had any problems with other dogs. The two other dogs began getting very aggressive towards Koda, while the guy continued yelling at me to “get a fucking clue”. I told him it wasn’t a big deal and if anything he should be worried about his dogs being aggressive towards my dog. After i grabbed Koda by the collar and waited for the man to walk away, he just stood there and stared at me. I told him it was okay for him to leave and he continued staring at me. I was getting pretty pissed with him so i just told him to fuck off. He began walking away but every 5 steps or so would turn around and yell something at me. I told him to fuck off and get a life.
Is it common knowledge to not ride your bike on the sidewalk? Is it illegal to have my dog off leash?
AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
44tL9gFx5vNDZlHglHt6m9VdWfyG3yRn | aw0mo7 | {
"description": "basically shutting down democracy in my club",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for basically shutting down democracy in my club? | Context:
SO. i'm the president of my highs school's anime club. The club mission is to get people to expand their horizons and move past the popular stuff like BNHA.
Last year there was little to no democracy; we would suggest, and they would choose something on their own. This year, i tried to make an effort for democracy, by putting their suggestions on a poll and allowing to vote from that pool of suggestions.
That's backfired. There's a lolicon denomination in our club who spends the entire duration being loud and playing Fate/Grand Order instead of actually watching the anime, yet they're the biggest group in the club that actively participates in voting, so they basically vote for what they've seen, and then don't even watch it.
This week they were campaigning hard for Gochiusa; knowing how they've behaved the past like, 4 months, they aren't going to watch it.
So i basically pulled a dictatorship move and declared we're watching Mob Psycho 100 II. Of course, they bitch about it. AITA for removing the democracy of the club since it's not aligning with the club's mission?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
vpSYhYC7wveQLFqsauN8nF6QBolCTUym | as4gmx | {
"description": "refusing to participate in the interactions of a \"Roast Comic\"",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for refusing to participate in the interactions of a "Roast Comic"? | We went to see a comedy show about a year ago and my friend insisted on being in the front row of a relatively small club. The comic was trying to do crowd work and started asking people questions. One was "have you ever been with a black woman?". FYI There are not a lot of black people where we live, but I come from a city where there are (I'm white). Anyway a bunch of us raised our hands (I did, but kind of reluctantly) and he started asking everyone more questions and eventually he got to me. He asked me what I did and I gave him a vague response. I work with a really large employer and can almost guarantee there were some employees in the audience so I was little paranoid about talking about it. I guess he didn't pick up on the fact I didn't want to participate. He proceeded to ask me "what's the difference between black pussy and white pussy?" I was a little put off by this question and honestly it just felt like no matter what I said he was going to twist it into something weird. He held the mic in front of my face and I say "I don't know if I want to answer that question.." "Why not?" "Well it seems kind of racist". He freaked out "what are you talking about?" I turned around to the audience and ask "don't you think that's a racist question?" and about 7 people said "yes". A few said "no". He started screaming at me "what are you a fucking idiot?!" I shook my head at him and said "no" and he continued to scream at me. Not jokes, not saying anything funny, just screaming at me calling me an idiot and yelling "racism comes from hate, that's not racism" which personally I disagree with. The audience of course joined in all yelling at me, booing me etc. I wasn't going to argue with him, he has the mic and he was trying to put on a show so I just kept quiet while he told his shitty joke. Throughout the show he kept getting audience members to boo and yell at me. I just tuned him out. It got to the point where I was thinking about all my options. Walk out, leave my friend there and let people boo and jeer at me as I left, jump on stage and do something or just sit there, ignore him and leave with my friend. I chose the latter. At one point he did reach out to try and shake my hand and I just said "no way, you're a fucking asshole!" and a lot of people heard. More booing. He finishes his set while continuing to get the audience to boo and yell at me. As I'm leaving people are yelling out my name taunting me. I didn't respond or react, I just walked back to my car with my friend. I was pretty fucking depressed for about 4 days. Never had an entire club of people booing me, calling me names etc. I should say I've seen a lot of comics including insult comics. Usually there's an element of humor or creativity to it. This guy was just straight up insulting. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 7,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
bPn9pSv7XWz3FjWhMfD4EcyPlC2AJAAA | 9ymj5o | {
"description": "not wanting to go with my family on their Christmas trip",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to go with my family on their Christmas trip? | I live with my parents and my sister, so I see my family everyday. This year, they want to spend Christmas at a beach resort, which is not really my ideal vacation spot. I never liked going to the beach and there's not much to do besides that.
They are going to pay for the whole trip but I don't feel comfortable if they are spending a lot of money for me to do the same things I can do at home (staying in the room reading books). But at the same time there's this whole "Christmas spirit" thing... I am not religious and actually don't care at all about Christmas. My family isn't religious either but they still think it's a time to be with family, etc.
I have untill tomorrow to decide if I am going or not. I really have no interest in visiting this place, but AITA for "ruining" my family's trip? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
HgPFpG2EpKGMMPX085hvKYTwZQG6szNr | auwjt4 | {
"description": "not wanting a Guy watching us practice",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Not Wanting a Guy Watching Us Practice? | RIght, so, In my school my friend and I have a project due on Tuesday next week, and part of it is to make a video explaining an ancient civilization. We went outside class to film it and didn't get any tries 'correct'. We were trying another one when a guy about 3 years older than us went outside into the same corridor about 5 meters away from us. I guess he was in trouble and was told to go outside. Anyways, I got really nervous and tried to make up excuses to stop filming. My friend didn't really see the problem and I had to (wo)man up and just talk in the video. The guy came closer to us, even sitting down next to us to watch us film. He was sitting right next to me, less than 50 cm away. I began to forget my lines and my friend complained, 'We're almost out of time!' and the guy asked what time it was, as if he was part of the conversation. In the end we didn't get anything done thanks to that guy. Was I overreacting? Was I thinking like an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
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} | RIGHT |
X2b8vWloFRRcJ2rkycwKFdOjk2tIiDi2 | ady0cp | {
"description": "hardly talking to my boyfriends mother",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hardly talking to my boyfriends mother? | I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I get along great with his little sister (she calls me her bigger sister), his dad and I are friendly, but his mother and I have lots of tension between us.
I’ve never been outright rude to her, but I’ve stopped making an effort to talk to to her. I say hello, goodbye, thank you, etc. only very basic things. But I’ve stopped all efforts for conversations. This is because of how she’s treated me the past year.
Everything was fine at first, but after a few months it got messy. See, they all speak Russian with each other (they’re all fluent in Russian and English, and have been in America for 13+ years). One time she noticed I looked a bit uncomfortable when they were all speaking Russian (I was sort of sitting there looking around, I didn’t understand anything, so I couldn’t add to the conversation). She turned to me and said “I think this would be a lot easier if you spoke Russian.”
Now, I 100% understand why they speak Russian, it’s their culture. But telling me it’d be easier if I learned a new language? Easy for who??
Anyways, after that she started getting more and more cold to me. She gives me dirty looks sometimes, it’s just clear she doesn’t like me. One time she even told my boyfriend to his face that she thinks I’m “fake” because she can tell I dislike her, but I’m still nice to her. I do this out of respect, I’m not going to be rude to her when she allows me to go over to her house.
I’m at a loss, I wanted to be close with her, I’ve always been very close with my boyfriends parents, but I’ve just stopped trying. AITA for no longer putting in effort & for totally resenting her?
ADDITIONAL INFO: I’m my boyfriends first girlfriend. At first my boyfriend thought she was being protective, but we’ve been together for about 13 months now. My boyfriend now thinks maybe she resents me because of arguments she’s overheard between us in the past, but we haven’t really had a rough spot for 6 months, and she made the Russian comment to me long before we ever even got into an argument. So I don’t think this is actually why she dislikes me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PjxEH1zgjstjzckRSAphZmRkgsBnZusV | b3zh7x | {
"description": "getting my husband tested for autism behind his back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for getting my husband tested for autism behind his back? | Asking about a friend. I know how I feel, but another friend is adamant to the contrary, so I'm bringing it here.
My friend's been in a relatively loveless marriage with this guy, let's call him B, for several years, & they have 2 young children together.
I met them both a few years ago, early into the marriage, & have always been cordial with B. They've always seemed like a bad fit for one another. Conflicting personality types, different hobbies, even different tastes in food. But they're married, I always figured they had some deeper connection. Also, I didn't feel I knew her well enough to say anything.
Over the years though, the conflicts between them have escalated, and a few months ago I felt so uncomfortable by a fight they had in front of me that I had to say something to her. I told her it often seemed like they were a bad match for each other, because of their many differences. I also felt he was being mean & dismissive to her.
At that point, she told me a lot that I didn't know. For one thing, the meanness--which she describes as "contempt"--is apparently a personality trait that she's been trying to parse for years. He seems to genuinely want to understand why she is upset in a given situation, but despite his sincerest efforts, he can't seem to put himself in her position mentally. "He lacks empathy," is what she told me. "He doesn't mean to, and he doesn't think he does, but he can't understand other ppl's feelings." And then, she says, he gets mad.
TBH I was a little dismissive of this cuz I thought that was kind of a cop-out way to avoid to the real issue of being poorly matched for one another. I asked if she'd ever brought it up to him, she said yes, but he got so offended & angry that she never wanted to bring it up again.
So fast forward to yesterday. My friend told me that they'd been going to see a marriage counselor for a few months. She specifically found a marriage counselor who specializes in spectrum disorders, but not in a conspicuous way, so as to keep the information from B. After several long meetings, the counselor agreed with my friend that yes, B is on the spectrum, and yes, he appears to be unable to empathize w/ other ppl.
My friend feels relieved to have some answers, though of course the challenge now is B doesn't have a clue. I'm sure he'll think she's an asshole, but that's to be expected. I guess what I'm asking, IS my friend TA for getting him tested behind his back? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
e4ePixtvh0rPTVwmAhXIDOiW1WBczWbj | aloxaa | {
"description": "telling the neighbors kids to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for telling the neighbors kids to shut up | It's currently 7am and the kids don't start school till 8:30. They've been up since 5 running around and from what I can tell banging the wall with a hammer. I'm house sitting for my mother right now and I'm aware that she's told the parents to control their kids before. WIBTA for going over there and asking to be quiet while my girlfriend sleeps? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
qJSQ45zJQNws1fZGlpDlfLBq6LSVZ80P | amkwls | {
"description": "playing video games with my friend online at 10 am",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for playing video games with my friend online at 10 AM? | My friend and I like to play video games together and we'll play in a high-spirited way (read: loud) whether we're laughing at something that happened or cursing our luck. I won't play with him too late at night if people are going to sleep, and I won't even play games that require verbal communication (CS:GO, Overwatch, etc.).
I started a new job recently and in addition to working basically all day every weekday (read: no free time), it has me waking up earlier which has adjusted my sleep schedule (woke up at 8:30 this morning). I texted my friend at 9:10, got a response at 9:35, and we started at 9:57. We chatted, laughed, cursed, and had a fun time for several hours.
Cut to later this afternoon. Girlfriend gets home and a bit later she comes up to me at my computer and says that I was being too loud at my computer this morning and I woke up her sister (18, goes to college). I was under the impression that my friend and I had started fairly late in the morning so I looked at text timestamps in my phone and looked at GF incredulously and said "at TEN AM???" According to GF that is too early to start making noise and "Saturday is the only day that [sister] doesn't have class and she deserves to sleep in." I attempted to argue that ten is not an unreasonable hour but GF wasn't having it. I then mentioned the fact that I could hear [sister] having sex when I got home around 1 AM last night and if she needs sleep she should be going to bed earlier. That didn't work either and GF said that it's none of my business what she does and I'm being extremely inconsiderate. "Conversation" ended at that and we haven't really talked since except for her saying that dinner is ready and her responding to my question "the dishes in the dishwasher are clean?" (I empty the dishwasher since she always cooks) with "yes, which you would know if you had looked inside the dishwasher."
Obviously all of this is from my perspective, but I don't believe I'm leaving anything of importance out.
AITA?
EDIT: she had already checked out of the relationship by this point. I am now a single man. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
xcDrM8hdtfssUIyqxHteqberV51jzHrg | aahfsq | {
"description": "wanting more assholes to post here",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA if I want more assholes to post here? | Seeing obvious NTA stories is interesting, no doubt, but I just want to have a little variety in this sub. Does that make ME an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
gUGcGjv2Sfc1f8qlfna8STrhnkHQ8GM1 | b5w5dx | null | AITA 4 asking for my money back | I lent money to a relative who promised to pay me back within a few weeks. He has failed to pay me back and just made excuse after excuse. His wife was in hospital (seriously ill) and so I haven't ask him about the money for the past 6 months nor has he. Last week I found that he has purchased a new car for his daughter and I asked for my money back. Feel like an asshole for asking him to repay as his wife is still not well but equally I am annoyed that he can buy stuff for her yet still not pay me back. My emotions range from guilt to anger at him. It's a lot of money. Took me just under 2 years to save that money. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OGAR5wUec9JztDoQhbXwacUBsd4svR5B | a8m5t1 | {
"description": "not liking my girlfriends gift to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not liking my girlfriends gift to me? | So, we had our Christmas early because not everyone would be around then.
I liked all of my gifts except the big one my girlfriend got me. It was a Rick and Morty board game that girlfriend repeatedly told me that SHE wanted when we went to the local tabletop game store. I remember being vocally uninterested in it every time she told me about it.
After I opened it, I kept the shrink wrap on so I could possibly return it but before I could even put it away she asks to open it and look at the contents. She wants to play this game more than I do.
She noticed that I wasn't as excited about her gift as I was about my other gifts. Beyond that, I haven't told her any of this. I don't even think she realizes these things. I love her and I think this is one of those things I should just let go and let her have her fun with my gift that she really got for herself.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
3zdGAaIjVBCaNgvWsdNKkvYDGagHiGQG | b3mpke | {
"description": "speaking my up about my feelings to my parents who paid my college tuition",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for speaking my up about my feelings to my parents who paid my college tuition? |
A couple years ago I (21F) was dating a man (32 M) who had multiple marriages and multiple children. I’ll call him L. At the time we met, I was really lonely and seeking the kind of attention he gave me. I want to say it was around date 4 that he disclosed to me his history, so I was going into this relationship eyes open. I understand, I put myself in a horrible situation for a 21 year old female in college, so hold your judgement.
Anyways, it all came crashing down when my parents met him. My father, who is pretty traditional, confronted him about his kids and previous marriages, which is fair. I can understand that he wanted to know more about the almost 12 year older man dating his daughter, but it wasn’t an inquisitive line of questioning. It was hostile. L was calm and cool while defending his position while my father tried to physically escalate. I stepped in between them and told L to get in the car, because we were leaving. It was a 12 hour drive back to my state from my parents place. During this drive my parents unleashed something I had never seen before.
My father told me to not come home, because I was no longer his daughter. My mother warned me that I was about to be cut out of their health insurance plan. They even called the police to search my home for drugs (I only smoked weed occasionally at the time), because they would rather have me in jail than with this man. I wasn’t going to be able to afford the next semester on my own, and my anxiety felt unbearable, so I ended up dropping that semester to gather myself and figure out what my next step would be as a fully independent adult.
Eventually I was allowed back into the family and my parents offered to continue to pay my college tuition, but no other internal resolutions were ever reached. L and I broke up a couple months later due to a job opportunity for him, and I was single again.
Now when I go back to see my family, my father and mother will bring up the L situation and comment on my poor behavior and decisions. I respond by pointing out how heinous and ugly their actions were. They become defensive about their actions, and say their bad behavior is outweighed by everything else they have given me.
I understand I am INCREDIBLY lucky that I got a debt free college education, but I can’t just forget about what they did. Am I the asshole to continually respond to their comments with my true feelings?
TL; DR- My parents disowned me because of some stupid shit I did earlier in life. When I try to point it out, they say their behavior doesn’t matter because they paid for me college tuition. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
vUEjbmEaQCWbAJ6iAnMlv3RxmqsYw6C3 | azxmch | {
"description": "continuing talking to a guy I matched with on Tinder who my best friend says is off limits because her other friend has a crush on him",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I continue talking to a guy I matched with on Tinder who my best friend says is off limits because her other friend has a crush on him? | About a week ago I ran into a friend of mine who was with her buddy, Jake. Jake and I introduced ourselves and that was it. I thought he was cute and very polite.
A few days ago, my best friend, Sara and I were working at a coffee shop and her friend, Hannah, whom I’ve never met, came with Jake. We recognized each other, chatted for a bit and both Jake and Hannah seemed very nice.
Yesterday I matched with Jake on Tinder and he messaged me, I told my best friend Sara about it and she immediately told me to back off because her friend Hannah had a crush on him and was trying to date him.
I was pretty surprised at the rather aggressive response especially from one of my closest friends.
If I messaged Jake back and started chatting with him would I be an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mhMHpFMh1FQC0JICAxbBAcr5tWWVCLeP | a29yz0 | {
"description": "being annoyed at my gf kissing her female friends in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being annoyed at my gf kissing her female friends in front of me | Posted on a throwaway cause friends know my account.
My gf has this (imo odd) relationship with her friends in which kissing eachother is normal.
The kiss isn’t a peck, this is a lip lock for a few seconds.
I don’t have a problem with this part, I’m not homophobic and I’m pretty certain there’s no romantic feelings behind the kissing.
The part that I do have a problem with is that she’ll occasionally do it in front of me.
I know that girls kissing eachother is well liked, I like it too, but when she does it in front of me it feels disrespectful. I’m not usually a traditionalist when it comes to relationships but watching her and a friend lock lips just twists me up inside, I’ve put some serious thought into it and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want her to stop doing it - atleast in front of me.
I tried explaining my problem with it to her but she closed herself off and didn’t really give an answer and that got me thinking, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Hx1aggvDcZegei3w62m5mWSPqeUBFm2X | at7n9d | {
"description": "inviting my brother-in-law's ex to my wedding, meaning he refuses to come",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for inviting my brother-in-law's ex to my wedding, meaning he refuses to come? | Some context:
​
My soon-to-be-wife's brother, Bill, and his ex-partner, Terri, had twin daughters at 19, followed by a messy break-up. They were living with my fiancee's parents at the time.
​
Bill left with the woman he was cheating on Terri with, and more-or-less only sees the family at Christmas. He doesn't attend his daughters' birthdays, nor has he paid child support for the last 10 years, to the best of my knowledge (it is almost never discussed). He sees them maybe three times a year, and they dote on him completely, I guess because of the rarity of it. Suffice it to say, I have a low opinion of Bill. He can be charming and charismatic, but he is also the only person I have ever physically fought off (due to attempting to hit my partner, his sister).
​
Terri, meanwhile, stayed with my partner's parents--her in-laws. Her own family effectively cut ties with her. My wife's family have been incredibly supportive, and Terri now has a part time job while Nan and Granddad watch the girls during the week and work at weekends. Hardly ideal, but it's worked relatively peacefully except when Bill rears his head.
​
So, my dilemma. We have invited them both to the wedding next year. Bill cannot stand Terri. Conversely, she is willing to be civil to him, but he has responded to our wedding invitation by saying that if she goes, he doesn't. Despite everything he has done, my partner still loves him and wants him to come.
​
I said to my wife that we've sent the invitations now, so if he doesn't come, it's his fault. I am not rescinding Terri's invitation, full stop. I was 100% confidant I had made the right call.
​
Recently, my wife's parents spoke to us and rather angrily stated that we HAVE to uninvite Terri. Bill is blood family, and therefore has more of a right to come. I made the counterpoint that he DOES have the right to come--it's his choice whether he makes that call or not. They said that by inviting Terri, we are effectively banning him from the wedding. I disagreed--he has an invite, so in what universe is that a ban? He needs to fucking grow up.
​
So I was 100% certain of my decision but now I'm at 95%. My wife's parents are lovely people, have helped us out greatly and I have immense respect for them. In my opinion they usually make wise decisions and this anger seems a little out-of-character. They have always had a soft spot for Bill despite the damage he has caused, so I'm attributing it to that. But I have also asked around with family, friends and colleagues. Where I thought I was totally justified, a surprising number of people are coming back to me saying that blood always takes priority. Even my partner wants us the rescind Terri's invitation.
​
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
8eUXSFRyowrIuBlJseknk0mraoyCyMQc | 9v7kyl | {
"description": "telling an annoying person to go away",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling an annoying person to go away | A girl at my school continues to be annoying, even though I constantly tell her to go away. By annoying, I mean calling me her boyfriend, following me during recess, stuff like that. AITA for telling her to leave me alone constantly? Sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I don't. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
prZPzfIl5cv0UfWROZdDldDcXfbJkZUI | 9ywejb | {
"description": "sleeping with married women",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for sleeping with married women | Pretty much the title.
I (45M) love going after married women, it's so exciting and wrong thinking that they went down the aisle with another man and are willing to throw that all away just to fuck you. They're usually better in bed and it's so easy to get them in there if you know how to spot one that'll cheat (Always look for women who disrespect their man in public, if they'll do that they'll do it in bed when he's not around as well)
I'm not going to stop and of course I see nothing wrong with it, as these women were all going to cheat anyways and it's their husbands faults for being losers. It's none of my business save for the bit where I fuck her. I'm just wondering if Reddit sees it my way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
pzdW0BIczsNH2xFVeStqcZ7D2BclrAnF | aofa4q | {
"description": "not wanting to help out with 'housework'",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 35
} | AITA for not wanting to help out with 'housework' | I'm 17, live at home with my single mother (it's just been the 2 of us since my parents divorced 10 years ago). Recently she is buying a new sports car (a mid life crisis thing is my guess) that she can barely afford. Right now she parks her old car underneath broad daylight but she doesn't want to do this for the new one.
There is a shed in the front yard that is a good size for the car however it hasn't been used in decades (old house) and there's now vines and bushes all around it making it inaccessible.
So she wants me to help her do the landscaping over several weekends as well as paint and tidy up the shed to use as a garage for her new car. I've refused to help on this DIY project because:
a) money is already tight around and she has to take out loans for something that has no practical value so I disagree with her buying the car in the first place. Ultimately it's her money and I have no say
b) I'm in my final year of high school and I'm really focusing on my grades to get into a good university (which she agrees). if I have to help her with this it would make me even more angry at her during those weekends and when I'm emotionally stressed it is impossible for me to do anything productive in the time I have left.
c) if this were an actual chore (eg. Mowing the lawn, clearing out the gutter...) I would have no complaints however this is something purely for her personal gains and I don't feel it's fair for me to sacrifice my chance of getting into a good university for something so pointlessly materialistic.
I've had a discussion with her that turned into a fight where she called my lazy, selfish and entitled. I guess that i still do live under her roof and she still provides for me and I have an obligation to help out...So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 35
} | WRONG |
GO8GTtvj2LXkqUyGVh8p6lXPN1sL8Pi6 | au304i | {
"description": "making out with my gf loudly enough for her roommate to hear",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA - Making out with my GF loudly enough for her roommate to hear | This post is actually more of an AWTA(Are We The Assholes).
I'm an 18 year old male and my girlfriend is 19. We are both in college at the moment, and we often hang out at her flat. She lives with a roommate (F19, we'll call her Suzie). We've been together for around 3 months, and since this is a first real relationship for the both of us, we're very vanilla sexually.
We've decided to take it slow and we've not had sex yet, but we got as close as you can get (in baseball terms, third base).
Now, the problem is that we'd often get as close as you can get while Suzie was home. Now obviously, we'd be in a different room and we'd lock the door. We'd also actively try to be as quiet as possible.
This lasted for about a month and a half and we were both certain that everything was alright.
But yesterday, the horror happened. I was at my girlfriend's place in the morning and we got as close as you can get. About an hour after I left to go to college, I got a lot of dramatic fb messages from my GF.
Apparently, we weren't that quiet actually, and Suzie was able to hear us. And not just yesterday but many times before. Ftom what I undetstand, it's been going on for a month and a half. And she even told her mom about the situation.
Obviously it's an unpleasant situation for everyone involved and me and my GF look like absolute assholes and we are both feeling ashamed and I feel very sorry for Suzie.
On the other hand, if she'd told my GF something about it the first time it happened instead of not saying anything for *over a month*, we'd have just stopped doing it with her around.
Now the situation is a bit sticky and we try to avoid Suzie until the dust settles.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tRa5ehocA2fikyvgCihc0Zfv2xKJxi9s | ar54g3 | {
"description": "not lending my friend cash to pay for her tuition fee",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not lending my friend cash to pay for her tuition fee? | TLDR - A friend who has a history of not paying back borrowed money, asks for money to pay for her tuition fee.
So, we've been friends for 6 years -- since high school. She has a bit of a troubled family life. She's juggled between living with her dad & stepmom (who has a short fuse when it comes to her), and with an aunt who should be paying for her school fees.
She approached me a few days ago and asked for some money to pay for her tuition fee. She told me that her aunt's been having extra expenses because of her dental supplies (she's taking Dentistry), and her sister who's representing her school in another country and has to fly there, so she can't afford a portion of her tuition. I said no. Well, I didn't directly say no; I told her that she should talk to her aunt for the extra, which is relatively small (around ~$250), and that her aunt shouldn't abandon her responsibility of paying for her school fees.
I mean, what I said's true, right? Her situation would've been completely understandable, if only I believed it.
I've been friends with this person for 6 years. She has a debt to me that's about $200 because she wanted to buy some damn shoes for her (now ex) girlfriend. I only revealed this when the said ex-girlfriend asked me about it after their break up. I also know of a time that she's spent a portion of the money given to her for her tuition fee to buy something for the same ex-girlfriend (I think it was a vape lmao). So yeah, I'm skeptical. She's irresponsible with money, and has lied to me a few times for some cash.
At the same time I feel bad -- cripplingly bad, even, because this is her education, right? And she approached me with a "You're the only person I trust & know who would understand me" line. And maybe I am the only person who'd understand, and I turned her down when she needed me.
In the end my skepticism won over me. I only asked one other friend and she told me I did the right thing, but when I start to really thinking about, I also start feeling bad. So, AITA? Should I just suck it up and lend her the money? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5tWHIYIZj7t4sZJrqiyduELwyMbg8S2y | a4r83c | {
"description": "standing my ground against a teacher",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for standing my ground against a teacher? | I just came back from watching my grandfather with dementia die and go to his funeral. I come back to school and naturally I have work to do. No big deal right? Well when I ask what I have to do to make up, she hands me a test straight up. I’m shocked and panicked so I end up scoring a 30 on it. I later address this with the teacher multiple times and then she claims I asked for the test!! I have chosen to take the grade but I stood my ground and said firmly that I did not ask for a test, especially after seeing my grandfather die. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8oB8tkekbQzOrriXuKUXyez7ZILVghaK | avhp9y | {
"description": "blocking out my friend after he told lies about me to get a girl",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking out my friend after he told lies about me to get a girl | Disclaimer:English is not my first language.
Two years ago(September 2017) I(15M) started going to a different class in the same school, for reasons irrelevant to this story, which meant that I would see my previous classmates a lot less, including my then best friend P. When I switched classes other students were added there, including a girl L. A few months P got a crush on L, who at the time I hadn't met. L friendzoned him, but he stopped
In May, through a series of coincidents, me and L became friends. Around the same time my friendship with P started fading, because we had different hobbies. P was(and still is) crushing L and didn't like that we hung out. We decided to just not tell him, because he wasn't in a relationship with L and it wasn't his business. At first I thought nothing of that.
Fastforward to January, P started texting me random questions that eventually lead to L. He asked me if I had a crush on her and etc etc. I answered no, which is how i feel. P didn't stop asking questions about her and I answered, thinking he would eventually stop, but I was wrong.
Not only were there more questions, but they became weird. E.g do i want to sleep with L,what position, have I ever felt a desire to touch her, what does she smell like etc. I started avoiding answering because I felt uncomfortable. From that he started thinking that I had a crush on L, which I don't. The questions culminated in asking if I would help him take advantage of her, following which I blocked him, because I didn't know how to react and get a bit of peace from the questions. We talked that one out and forgpt about it.
After that he still asked the questions and I still avoided answering. Since he thought I had crush on L, he texted her that I supposedly don't want to talk to her(not true), which she believed and stopped texting me. I was upset, but after three or four days I told L that he lied and confronted P, who said it wouldn't happen again.
It did. In the following weeks he became increasingly jealous and started telling me that I had to stop talking to L because he said so and when I didn't he told her how I supposedly crushed somebody else for some reason. That really angered me, not because I like L, but because he had the audacity to spread lies about me. I confronted him about it and told him that I was angry at him,didn't trust him and wasn't going to answer his questions. He told me he was sorry and thar he doesn't want to lose our close friendship.
And then he did it again. I don't know exactly, but he texted me that he thought that his plan to make L to stop talking to me was working, because I told him that I hadn't talked to L in a week. After that I decided to completely cut him off.
Now i'm a bit conflicted. On one hand, I don't want to be friends with someone who manipulates and lies for a girl, who has repetadly turned him down. But on the other, I'm just cutting off someone, who considers me one of his best friends | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
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} | RIGHT |
JSHY4tL1nqp0hIUy1MdkrgGjJdvcsQzY | ardpbl | {
"description": "asking wife to abort 1 twin",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 64
} | AITA for asking wife to abort 1 twin? | ok so i am a 45 yrs old male, she is 37 females. i came home from job. wife came home from a appointment with the doc. says twins. this was news to me. we had not considered the possibilly of twins. my wife was a bit nervous i can tell but excited by the surprise anyways. i start to feel like a raccoon in a room filled with rocking chairs, not sure if abortion is an option where i am. so i start doing research, we live in Alabama and my wife is a bit over 6 weeks pregnant. in Alabama abortion is legal until about 21 weeks. ok good, so, we have plenty of time to think. im a intellectual minded kind of person, talking things over helps me personally, even if she made up her mind on keeping the twins. its ok. i just want to talk about our options.
​
me: ok i want you to abort one of the twins as i am concerned about our fiscal wellbeing of having twins, how long you are going to be pregnant, the safety of the twins once born, our time spent into taking care of both twins, lots of potential fighting between twins, unwanted attention from strangers, double time spent if both twins get sick, never alone time with one child. it would seem logical to abort 1 of the twins. it is either that or we need to prepare for the outcome of twins. (these are all my points, backed up with strong arguments when i spoke to her).
​
her: agrees with financial point says we can talk about that, but rest of my reasons are stupid. says i am an idiot. (???)
​
me: i explain points again. if 1 twin sick, the other will 100% as they spend all their time together. first time parents, having 2 right away increases chances 1 gets hurt, twin proofing the house, and i go on with more back up arguments. it is all genuine concerns. we have a bit more back and forth, she is trying to shove my concerns, but all i want is a civil discussion, not to be verbally shoved and called stupid.
​
her: she starts crying. says im the biggest idiot on the planet. she says she knew something wasnt right. stuff like that. she starts shoving things in her purse and gets out of the house. goes to her mothers. all every dramatic and i am flabbergasted.
​
we had a very long discussion before pregnancy, but now that she is pregnant with unexpected twins i am not allowed to put anything in the tip jar? i reckon shell be back when she is hopefully is willin to talk. i am fretting over options going. we have lived our hole lifes in Alabama so we dont have any residence outside of here so if we need to leave the state for an abortion past 21 weeks, may not be allowed... i am fine with no abortion (honestly i prefer it, dont want her going through struggle of abortion) but this discussion must happen. i am all about open dialogue and sharing smart ideas. even if she has her mind set on having twins. am i the ahole in the context that i should not speak about abortion to a women who is pregnant? i want to chat while we still have our options on the stump...not fair for her to call me stupid for fretting over surprise twins. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 64,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 64
} | WRONG |
00CkeocwthpCP6aLy9bEo4Uzmolmxmoi | ay7xqy | {
"description": "wanting to find another therapist because my very first therapist \"forgot\" to turn up today",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to find another therapist because my very first therapist "forgot" to turn up today? | Hi guys, I would like your genuine and honest opinion please. I can't ask my friends or family because I know they'll side with me.
Today was going to be my first day seeing a therapist. I am originally from an Asian country where mental health isn't taken very seriously. When I was living with my parents, I told them about my problems and they told me to "just get over it" since I've recognized my issues. I have anger issues and waves of depression. Now that I'm living on my own, I would like to speak with someone asap.
I found her contact through /r/asksf, but she apparently "forgot" our appointment and her reasoning is that she didn't write our appointment down in her diary. Now to be fair, she did call me, leave a voicemail and sent a text message apologizing (in that order) and I know I'm petty as fuck. But i've decided to find someone else. I did not respond to her messages.
I felt she was unprofessional and I felt really angry this morning (i'm feeling okay now). I wanted to leave a bad review on Yelp and Google Reviews but I've decided it's not worth holding onto the anger and my boss told me people genuinely make mistakes.
Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
AP2bgTTJQewtzgWbys0pptdtD3fUqbqu | b17txu | {
"description": "being upset my sister calls my son by his middle name",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For being upset my sister calls my son by his middle name ( kind of ) | Hello everyone, I'm hoping i'm not the asshole LOL
​
I get seriously bothered every time my sister calls my toddler by his middle name, except she doesn't even use his middle name completely, His middle name is Alexander and she calls him Alex because she doesn't like his first name or his Middle name for that matter,
It really pisses me off when i hear her say this and i confront her about it every time since she seems to think we've effectively embarrassed our son by giving him a Unisex first name,
I'm really over having to correct her but where do i draw the line? and am an asshole for blowing this out of proportion?
FFS he's so young and learning every day and i don't want her to confuse him lol.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
mn0wnFiDWfn7nBzDEawL3RpK9pXxKn4Q | axsdga | {
"description": "not giving a racist a second chance",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not giving a racist a second chance? | I am an African American and my significant other is a white man. I will call him SO. He has a friend we’ll call Varg (also white). SO has known Varg for many years but they aren’t like talking every day or even every week kind of friends.
In a public setting, when I was present and SO was not, Varg made it clear that he supports nazi black metal bands and said that anyone who disagreed was a stupid snowflake.
SO and I live together. I told him I did not want Varg anywhere near me or our home under any circumstances. My home is a Nazi free zone. SO became upset saying that Varg was a good guy and this was just an ignorant lapse of judgment on Varg’s part and I should talk to him. I said Varg already made it very clear what he thought of me and I am not interested in wasting time trying rehabilitate racist asshats. I don’t get paid for it and Varg has no uniquely redeeming qualities to make me want to try.
SO insists that he has never seen this side of Varg before and says that he will talk to him. I say that I don’t care. SO argues that Varg is really a good person and that if we don’t take the time to educate him, Varg will turn into just another Nazi. I say that Varg is just another Nazi and him being an old friend doesn’t absolve him of that. I end the conversation and go about business as usual.
The next day SO says he has talked to Varg and Varg is supposedly sorry and allegedly didn’t understand how supporting literal nazis negatively affected black people. I said ok, but that I still didn’t want him anywhere near me or my home. SO gets upset and I tell him that Varg pretending to suddenly give a shit about black people after another white man told him to is not what I consider progress.Varg just doesn’t want to lose all his non-racist friends and his reputation as a good guy.
My SO said that I can’t complain about racism if I’m not willing to do anything to fix it. I got super mad at him for saying that. I said I’m not Varg’s mother and I’m not responsible for his choices or for making him into a good person.
We had a huge fight. I felt angry and betrayed that someone I trust so much would try to make me responsible for the failings of a racist idiot. After talking about it carefully and calmly over the next few days we basically made up. SO conceded that Varg’s idiocy is not my personal responsibility but he still thinks I have some kind of moral obligation to give Varg a second chance because he apologized.
I understand that people are capable of changing but I sincerely do not see signs of that in this particular case. I’m just a girl not fucking Osiris or St. Peter whoever. I don’t want to judge people’s hearts and souls but I also really don’t want racists in my life. I feel really strongly about this but I want to be the kind of person that my dog thinks I am. Am I the asshole for not giving Varg a second chance or is SO the asshole for trying to get me to educate the racism out of his friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QodI9SClDJyKkDYJD35drfV9C0gxgnLp | b1k43g | {
"description": "asking my elderly, nearly deaf neighbor to turn down her television at night",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I ask my elderly, nearly deaf neighbor to turn down her television at night? | I live in a two story apartment building above a very sweet elderly lady. She is literally one of the nicest people I have ever met. Her husband died about a year ago from cancer and she has been alone since.
Here's the thing:
She's partially deaf and she leaves her television on all night. When I say all night, I mean I have woken up at 3 AM to hear the "clong clong" of Law and Order SVU from downstairs. My bedroom is right above hers, and it's her bedroom TV that is apparently so loud, although I'm not sure if her apartment is the exact same layout as ours. My sister in the next room over says that she cannot hear anything when she's in her room, so it's not really a problem for her.
Now when I say loud, I don't mean general noise loud. I mean I can \_clearly\_ hear the dialogue of whatever show she is watching. Theme songs, "in a criminal justice system, sexually based offenses...", the new anti-depressant commercial. All of it.
I know that she is deaf and probably needs the TV that loud. And I would hate to offend her or make her feel like she cannot be herself in her own home, but I need to sleep. Would I be a terrible asshole if I asked her to turn it down at night? Or just get earmuffs or something? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PocPikjlmMpo8SeDclIIdMTFggORHubg | ah6afp | {
"description": "confronting a man for disrespecting my wife at a party",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For confronting a man for disrespecting my wife at a party? | Me and my wife were at a new years BBQ. It was for our entire apartment complex so there were a lot of people we havent met there. Against our better judgement we decide to stay late into the night and drink a bit since we dont get out much.
A drunk man who we've never met approaches us and leers at my wife, right in front of us. Just casually checking her out and I could see she was uncomfortable. I ask the guy if he has a problem and he laughs at me, saying theres no problem here.
My wife pulls me away from the situation but it does not stop there. He starts pointing at my wife and me across the plaza, making gestures with his hand. At this point I am livid but my wife tells me to ignore it.
Later me and her separate as she has to go to the bathroom. As shes coming back this scumfuck grabs her arm and sort of twirls her, like in a dance. I rush over, fuming. He says he wanted to show me how a real man dances with a woman.
Enraged, I slap his drink on the ground and tell him that I would cut his hand off if he touches my wife again. I dont actually make physical contact with him as this creates a spectacle . The music stops and my neighbors are between me and him. I was very angry. He says sorry repeatedly but i think he didnt really mean it.
His friends apologize to me as well. Well now its been several weeks and i have a letter from the complex chastising me for my behavior that night. Apparently either the drunk or someone else complained that i was threatening people. My wife is shocked as well and says we should dispute the accusations.
AITA For making the scene? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
hPZF0i7mP6CBYMPH5HFXgD5yHOF1eVgA | ax0kcl | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for her best friend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | WIBTA for breaking up with my girlfriend for her best friend? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year, but lately we've been drifting apart.
We have a long distance relationship, since she moved away from where I live about 2 months ago.
Everything was still going good for us, until about 2 weeks ago, she would text back later and later, and become a lot more secretive, to the point where I became suspicious.
My girlfriend and her best friend have been close for a long time, and while my girlfriend has been gone, me and her best friend have gotten closer.
Her best friend and I have a lot more in common than my gf and I, and she treats me better than my girlfriend. So yes, I started to like her.
A few days ago, her best friend admitted to me she had feelings for me as well, so I told her the truth about how I felt about her.
It turns out my suspicions were right. My girlfriend texted me admitting, she cheated on me. I told her I forgive her, but I really didn't.
...WIBTA for breaking up with her? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
g3paofiIMAFEgc6n3Wl0xgFhunfhqkr5 | ay3kdp | {
"description": "not letting a child enjoy themselves in my store after closing time",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting a child enjoy themselves in my store after closing time? | I work at a gift shop where we sell little trinkets made in China, and we have a penny smasher. It's the bane of my existence. People are constantly turning the lever and making the *clink clink clink* noise all day, every day. Well, I was closing up the store last night when a family came in. I said "Hey guys, welcome in. Just so you know, we're going to be closing in about ten minutes, but take your time" (as you're supposed to say when you work in customer service). There were three adults and about five children all under 10 years old. At 8pm I locked the doors, turned off the music, and brought in our sign that we have outside. At this point I hoped they would've gotten the point and left, but they continued to let their children run rampant through my store that I had just cleaned and organized for the next day (which I had to do over again when they left).
They pay for their little trinkets and the children all look at the penny smasher and begged to do it. At this point its 10 minutes past closing, so I look at the father and say "I'm sorry but the store is closed now". He says "Can they just smash a few pennies real quick? It's their favorite". I say very nicely "I'm really sorry but it's well past closing and I have somewhere I need to be", which wasn't entirely true, I was just tired from working all day and I wanted to go home. The children all looked very upset, and one started crying, but the father lead them all out and I said "Thank you for stopping in, have a good night". The father ignores me and tries to comfort his crying child.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FEof0nVhnVVoBu8vbNYsOppi1cxY0VGB | awy6z6 | {
"description": "asking for my ex to keep a consistent custody schedule with the kids instead of going out drinking",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking for my ex to keep a consistent custody schedule with the kids instead of going out drinking? | Backstory: we have two kids, just into their double digits years, and my ex and I have a 50/50 custody schedule since the separation. 1 week with me, 1 with him.
His friends are partiers/drinkers. Always have been, but he didn't go out with them much when we were together because they lived out of town.
Since our separation, his two closest friends have moved back to our town again. So my ex is back to partying and drinking with them again.
Today my ex asked that I have the kids this Friday because another friend is coming into town and the guys are all going out drinking. My response was that I'd like to keep our weekend's with the kids consistent. So, I didn't tell him no, but honestly I think he shouldn't ask me to have the kids so he can go out drinking with his buddies. It's his week with the kids, after all. Anyway, his response made it clear that he's mad that I didn't agree.
So, am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SsB9b06nkHHAGIwMQ3h6khdgGWlJexSs | awrt0z | {
"description": "telling people I had a biopsy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: Telling people I had a biopsy | I recently had a biopsy and have had to be on crutches. Without fail, 1 in every 4 strangers will approach me to ask if I had ACL surgery and then tell me about their MCL and ACL surgeries.
Am I the asshole for responding that I had a biopsy done? My friends and family think that I'm making others feel like the assholes instead of just saying yes to the ACL question. Should I politely say no to having my ACL done? Or just say that I had surgery?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
lNXkVNvDIBsl6F7zmAqYSmJceY7azf2C | adyv8e | {
"description": "letting my friendship just die out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for letting my friendship just die out? | Edited because I realized this mostly is about friend A and not the others. Originally wrote about 3 friends total, so if the formatting seems weird, that's why.
I have 4 friends from HS that I've more or less kept constant contact with for the past decade. There were periods of times we saw less of each other, but I'd say we'd meet up at least 5 times a year regardless of whether we were living in different cities or not. As of 2 years ago we all live in the same city within 15 minutes of each other.
Every other week o so, I'd text the group asking if they'd want to meet up. If they were available, we'd either hit the local bar and hang out a bit or if we had time, go out to some other place and hang out. So now we're seeing each other maybe 12-24 times a year, with myself or one other friend initiating for the most part.
Now I have my own "issues", using that term lightly because no one in perfect, with this friend.
* Friend A is childish. Doesn't offer to drive, activities are limited because she doesn't want to stay out late or something. A few times I told her that I'd be willing to pick her up and take her to a destination, but she'd have to arrange her own ride back if she wanted to go home early and she just assumed I'd leave early to drop her off. Sometimes expects me to order for her at restaurants, leaves the logistics to getting and going to places to me, etc.
Recently I went on a trip with Friend and it ended on a bit of a bad note. Nothing too dramatic, but mostly her lack of initiative and her need to have someone do and plan everything for her was very off-putting for me. I tried to draw up an itinerary before we left so she would have ideas about what to do and where to go, but on days we weren't doing everything together she just stayed at the hotel. If it had been all her money and her planning that led to that decision, I wouldn't be bothered about it, but I feel like I put in a lot of effort and planning to make this trip enjoyable for the both of us and it was wasted because she wouldn't step out of her comfort zone.
I think the major thing is that it made me aware of how much effort I put into planning and seeing my friend as opposed to how much effort they're willing to put in. It's pretty rare they'll invite me to anything that required planning beyond "show up at x time", and even that's rare. Whereas I put in time to plan rides, parking, possible dinner/lunch places, and then they just show up.
Originally, my plan was to take some time to cool off and then explain to friend A why I was stressed during the trip (I never told her I was mad at her or upset, but she could tell there was something off about me by the end of it). But as time goes on, I find myself not really missing Friend A at all. I'm not mad or upset at her, but I question whether our relationship added something to my life. I do feel like it's a bit of an asshole move to just drop communication after 9 years, but at the same time she has not made any attempt to contact me either - which was a trend in our relationship up til now.
Not sure what to do, tbh. On one hand, normally I'd say letting a friendship die out without a word is an asshole move. On the other, if she cared either way she would've texted me at some point, even if it was just to say happy holidays or some mundane shit. If she expects me to initiate every conversation or hang out going on forward, I don't know if this is a friendship I want to continue with? It feels too much like dragging someone along unwillingly and it makes me uncomfortable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oezoFeVR4M4bKt5ke9KVKmQLadAEa4v0 | b20e5k | {
"description": "chiding my friends when they don't eat even though I'm anorexic",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for chiding my friends when they don’t eat even though I’m anorexic? | I just turned fifteen a few days ago, and my friends decided to take me out to an all you can eat buffet. I had a bit of a freak out as I was nearing my daily intake and hadn’t exercised or anything. Not wanting to spoil their fun, I go with them. They pay for my entry and I feel like shit already because I know I’m not going to eat much. I grab a plate and stock up on salad and seafood. My friends ask why I’m not ‘going for it’ and I just tell them that I’m not super hungry as I already had quite a bit to eat before we left as I had no idea they were taking me out. Friend A gives me a weird look but shrugs it off. The day goes fine, minus them getting annoyed at how ‘I’m not eating enough considering they paid for me and themselves to get in’. I felt awful.
Two days later friend A, B and I are sitting at the lunch table during school. They aren’t the type to skip meals, so when friend A literally pulls an apple from her bag and discards everything else of her meal, I’m a bit suspicious. She says she’s not hungry and that she had food at break (which is a lie because we sat together at break and none of us had food). I start chiding her on how it’s unhealthy to skip meals and she should eat properly. Friend A fires back and mentions how I never eat a proper meal and that I’m too skinny (I went from 125lbs to 110 within the past month, but note I didn’t start losing weight at 125lbs). I’ve never explicitly told her I was anorexic but I think she figured it out. She starts saying how she feels guilty for being so fat and that she feels bad about eating in front of me because I’m so skinny.
I try to explain that me being skinny isn’t healthy, she’s pretty and she needs to eat but she gets more upset at me and says how it’s unfair that I get upset when they don’t eat but brush it off whenever she or friend B points out that I don’t eat. Friend A admits to not wanting to eat around me because she’s afraid to look fat etc.
No matter how many times I try to tell her that the way I am isn’t healthy, she won’t listen and continues to kind of blame me for not wanting to eat? So am I the asshole for chiding her when she doesn’t eat properly? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Un7ds2NBcPX0tWv96DD1AxitOTbNlBQ7 | abei8b | {
"description": "not being attracted to certain parts",
"pronormative_score": 47,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Aita for not being attracted to certain parts | So this is something that happened a while ago and it came up in conversation with people and I don’t know if I was in the wrong. So I had a significant other a while ago who came out to me that they thought they were genderfluid. I told them that was wonderful and asked how I could support them. I did everything I could and then they told me they thought they were trans and wanted to transition. I once again asked how I could support them. However, I told them that I was unattracted the parts that they wanted to transition into. I told them that I would still love them and support them unfortunately i was not attracted to those parts and would prefer to support them as a friend rather than a SO. They got upset and started telling everyone I was transphobic. I really did not mean to be, however, despite the person it doesn’t change what parts I am attracted to. So am I in the wrong for this? Was there something I could’ve done differently? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 47,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 47,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
DAj1PvdEuCaLNpxuowEI6vDcdTjXEbrt | 9ts350 | {
"description": "not providing as good a service for medical staff who abused me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not providing as good a service for medical staff who abused me? | I was helping out in my aunt's restaurant and some medical staff I knew and who abused me asked some food. I got it but literally pissed in their soup. I got a cup from the toilet and poured it in and served it to them.
They used to say to me I was nothing and I was a bad person. And if I ever deserved a transplant I wouldn't get it since I was a nothing person. And how I was a nothing since I didn't go to church. They deserved everything wasteful (pun intended) they got.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
isn9jnYmpzTIFH2SyfY9eoen6lxS2qll | a93nui | {
"description": "being stressed out for xmas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being stressed out for xmas? | On mobile. Apologies for formatting.
Just had a major fight with my partner on xmas eve. I own 2 companies and have had nothing but problems getting paid big dollars owed leading up to xmas. Ive bought the second company for my partner in the last couple of months that she really wanted (hairdressing) and added it to my company portfolio.
Anyway, im super stressed out and pretty closed off. Constant headache not.sleeping properly, tonight my Partner started bringing things up like how i have ruined xmas, dont care about her, its always about me etc etc. (I now have 2 companies to worry about and very low finances!) I just left without saying much.
AITA?
I have to go back home soon. Im walking my dog. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TAlQmAvEmIhF4iLKo2WjdTfyacgHB1oO | a9oxms | {
"description": "telling my depressed boyfriend he needs to do more with his dogs",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I tell my depressed boyfriend he needs to do more with his dogs? | My boyfriend and I (late 20s both) live together. He has 2 dogs, a 3yo German shepherd and an 8 month old Siberian Husky. They are his dogs, he purchased them before we moved in. I do a fair amount with them because I love them, including feeding, playing, and training.
My bf has severe depression, and the last month or so it has been really bad. To help out, I've been doing 95% of the day-to-day chores like dishes and cooking etc. He currently takes out the trash now and then, and sometimes puts a few dishes in the dishwasher. He does nothing with the dogs but pet them when they are near and feed them sometimes. But I have reached my mental limit with doing everything.
The dogs need more exercise, especially the husky. They obviously want more play time than I can give them without further mental exhaustion on my part. I have tried hints and suggestions to not appear demanding, as he has told me he often feels overwhelmed and like everyone expects too much from him. But they fall on deaf ears. He thinks just being home and around them a lot counts.
I want to tell him, not gently, that he is neglecting his pets, the pets he says he loves so much, and needs to do more for them?
TL;DR Will I be an asshole if I tell him, sternly, he needs to take the dogs for walks and play with them in the backyard because they are his? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hlPK3BmUlLMQwtakyvGY8bOFBsMSZ0Ci | b1og1j | {
"description": "suggesting my friend pay her fair share",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for suggesting my friend pay her fair share | hey so i am an 18 year old college student. my best friend, who is 19, demands on splitting our spring break trip about 85% 15%. i am the 85 percent. my parents are well enough off- but so are hers. we went to Las Vegas for spring break, we are staying in my grandparents house that they recently bought (void of furniture other than a bed). My mother is a neurosurgeon and my dad does studies for the FDA (in the USA). i still do not rely on my parents for money, as i have my own job. she locked me out of the only bedroom last night and because of that i slept on the floor of a house that my family owns. she does too have a job, however still relies on her parents to pay rent and her marijuana addiction takes most of her personal money. i feel like a complete and utter asshole for asking her to pay 50% of the gas and charges that come with spring breaking in vegas. i know that my grandparents are much more well off than hers, but i feel like at the same time i am taking more out of my own pocket than she is spending- regardless of me giving her a free place for spring break (i paid for gas$ and food and alcohol). AITA? serious opinion since i am well off and personally am employed with a server job. i just feel like a dick, since she is less well off than i am, but at the same time this whole trip is being paid for with my personal money which i worked for. i know i am much more well of than most of the USA but i still feel like my money (vs. my parents) should be valued equally to hers. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hfUI4m2KvjpSi5X0nZa86BqrHVuNmpxV | a0fyle | {
"description": "wanting to stay friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to stay friends? | So I’ve been friends with this guy for about 3 years. It was somewhat of an off and on again friendship since I was too busy with other things. We always had interesting and meaningful conversations. But recently we started to talk everyday and became more fond of each other. I went over to his place a couple times just to hang out and shoot the shit with him. After a while I became “thirsty” and we exchanged risqué texts and photos. We talked about getting together to “Netflix and chill” and I was down.
I came over to his place and I was nervous. We sat on the couch and watched Netflix for a little bit. I let him touch me and give me kisses. We were supposed to have sex but I lied and told him I had started my period just the day before. We made out a little bit but I felt nothing. I could even say that I felt uncomfortable. At that moment I realized that all of those sexual things that I said through text was a result of me being thirsty, and I no longer felt that way. I made up an excuse to leave and he begged me to stay. I got dressed and promised I’d come back another day so that he wouldn’t keep trying to get me to stay.
I kind of distanced myself after that day and was texting him less than usual. Now the conversations end with him being angry at me for not giving him enough attention and me just being uncomfortable about the whole situation. I didn’t want to continue leading him on so I sent him a message saying that I didn’t want him to stop talking to me, but that I realized that I was being thirsty, and that I wish we could go back to having a strictly platonic relationship.
He read the message and never replied. It was obvious that I had upset him. But we had a wonderful friendship before all of this and it makes me feel like all he cared about was having sex with me.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
75dfUQAbD7m6m3fujuraZMjaBZsLia7p | b8wbcl | {
"description": "expecting my boyfriend to feed me",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA for expecting my boyfriend to feed me? | Some context: my boyfriend and I both live with our parents, but sleep over at each other's houses regularly. We're both students at the same uni, but don't have the same classes. My place is over an hour and a half from the uni, his is 20min away.
The issue: when he stays at my place, I get myself up in time to get ready and pack my lunch, as well as his. I also either get him breakfast at home or make sure we are at uni early enough to get the free breakfast provided before class.
When I stay at his place, he never provides me any breakfast, or offers me anything to take for lunch. I get coffee in the morning only if I make it myself. I hate buying food at uni because it's so expensive, as well as unhealthy, which he knows.
AITA for expecting that he makes me lunch or at least breakfast, when I do the same for him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 8
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 21
} | RIGHT |
ldQvCGdS1tUjt05sUysrpyzxBgFEbPDA | 9wdrbq | {
"description": "asking the gifted phone back from my girlfriend, after we broke up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for asking the gifted phone back from my girlfriend, after we broke up? | Some backstory: i bought my (ex now) girlfriend a new phone and after about 2 months we broke up. Out of anger and heart broken after i figured it out that she was seeing another dude, i asked her to return the gifted phone so i can get the money invested back. The phone was probably the most expensive stuff i offered her in our almost-2 years relationship. She did return the phone that night but ever since i have regrets for taking it back.
Am i the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
xBRy0Z4C5QoBWOzZqHgdFZqE6LAUJ42D | a3tcjs | {
"description": "not allowing my middle schooler to take their laptop to school",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not allowing my middle schooler to take their laptop to school? | Because of behavior and breaking trust at home with computer usage, and slacking on school work at school (my suspicion is partly because of distraction of laptop), I've said my kid couldn't bring their laptop to school. They insisted they needed it, even called co-parent to have them demand the laptop go to school. I took my kid up to the school and walk to each teacher and asked if it was essential that they have their own laptop or if one could be provided if they needed it (only a couple kids bring their own laptop, everyone else uses the schools laptops).
Both my kid and co-parent are treating me like I did this horrible thing by putting my foot down on the laptop at school. Am I being unreasonable? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8m1I6QUYk71h5iS7Fib5HEaeAUdShdy5 | aejmtr | {
"description": "being close with my girlfriend's sister even though she hates it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being close with my girlfriend's sister even though she hates it? | I (19m) and my girlfriend (21m) have been together for a year and we met through uni. She has a sister who is 19. For the sake of the story, let's call my girlfriend Katie and her sister Danni.
Katie is really close to her parents, so I met them three weeks after our first date. They're really cool people and we hit it off super well, and them liking me so much sort of accelerated my relationship with Katie, and within a couple of months I was spending every weekend at her parents' house with her (she lives at uni but goes home for weekends) and I was living with my parents in the week. I also got along really well with her sister, and at the time Katie had no problem with it, she actually encouraged us.
So, when we spent the weekend at Katie's parents' house, if we went out for the day or just hung out in the house, Danni tended to be there too, and we all liked the arrangement. The problem started about four months in. We all planned to go out shopping for the day, but Katie left a couple of uni essays to the last minute and decided she was going to stay home, but she told me and Danni to go out anyway. We did, and as usual posted stuff on Snapchat and Instagram, and by this point she was more of one of my best friends than my girlfriend's sister. On that day, we posted a picture together at lunch, and Katie sent a message saying 'you look like a couple'. I thought she was joking so I just sent some laughing emojis and asked how the work was going, but she just sent a message asking me to delete the picture, so I did. I didn't think anything of it really. When we got home, she was a little bit moody but she didn't say anything, and she was fine within a couple of hours.
This started happening more often. Katie is in her last year of uni, and I'm in my first, so she has a lot more work than me to do. The occasions where we'd all plan to do something and she'd drop out last minute became more frequent, and about 3/4 times she would tell me and Danni to go out anyway, and we would, thinking nothing of it. The other 1/4 of the time we'd cancel the plans and just hang out in the house, but Katie didn't really like working with us around.
About seven months into our relationship, I was getting short on money so I took up some shifts where Danni works and Katie used to work, at their parent's restaurant. Again, when I got the job, Katie said she was fine with it because she wanted to pick up some shifts again soon. She didn't. One night, I came home from work and she was pissed off, because her dad made a comment along the lines of 'Danni and Connor seem to get on really well, you must be happy your sister finally likes one of your boyfriends'. Katie blew up about it, and I kind of understood why it'd make her nervous, seeing her boyfriend building a close relationship with another girl, even though she knows it's platonic and neither of us would hurt her. I told her the truth, that I understand why she feels insecure about it but that she doesn't need to worry, and I'll quit the job and find another place to work as soon as I can if it'd make her feel better. She said no because that would look suspicious to her family. I got that too. She apologised for being angry about our friendship and said her dad was right, it's nice that we get along and she just worried because she's never had that before. All was forgiven and things went back to normal for a while, but Katie started coming out pretty much every time we went out. I was super happy with this.
Anyway, it all came to blows in the middle of December. For the first time in a while, Katie dropped out of going out. We couldn't cancel, because we left Christmas shopping to the last minute. Danni and I went out and I was a little nervous, but Katie seemed fine all morning so I assumed it'd be different. We went back to normal, snapchatting and everything. I messaged her in the middle of the day to ask her about an eyeshadow palette that Danni mentioned a few weeks ago so I could get it for her for Christmas, and Katie send me a huge rant paragraph saying 'make up isn't something you buy for a friend, you should only buy it for your girlfriend... I can't believe you listen to everything she says but you haven't got me anything (I had, just wanted it to be a surprise)... maybe a good gift would be leaving her alone and giving her sister some attention... if you want to please her so much why don't you just fuck her', and so on. I didn't answer her for an hour or so because I was pretty mortified. And, thinking if I was wrong I could return it, I'd already bought the make up.
When we got home, she was fine, until Danni went to her room and she freaked the hell out again. I asked her why she was so upset about me and Danni being friends, and she's basically convinced we are cheating, when I can assure you we are not. She apologised again, but comments along the lines of 'I bet you'd rather be with Danni' have popped up frequently since. There was one time we had sex, and after she said 'bet you wish I was Danni'. She laughed like it was a joke but I don't think that's something you say as a joke. She made a similar comment after the NYE kiss.
​
I just want to know if I'm the asshole for being close with her sister, and not wanting to end my friendship just because she's paranoid about it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3viH3U1pXjBKp7dgAWEo7Id6U1mQfqwb | anrfrc | {
"description": "making my husband quit his new job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for making my husband quit his new job. | My husband has brain lessons since he was born, which causes him to have grand mal seizures. I continuously complain about his work as a chef because you never know the hours needed to work.
Well this particular issue started a few weeks back. My husband finally left his old job and got a new that pays him a decent amount. I kept asking him to call the head chef and get the hours before we make anything final. He called him and guess what, he didnt know the hours. I immediately knew this was gonna be a shit show.
Found out he only works 4 days a week, weekends and tuesday and Wednesday. This was great as I'm 18 weeks pregnant and didnt want to take the bus all week, since we only had my car to drive.
His first day was suppose to be last friday but his boss called him in last minute and told him to come I'm Saturday. So he had time to rest all day friday. He went into work 8am sat, got off at 9. I was extremely pissed, seeing how he can't work over 8 hours since his seizures. His triggers are lack of sleep and lack of food.
He went I'm sunday at 4, a decent time, and he got enough sleep before hand. But didnt get home until 3 am. The next day was a day off, and we talked after I got off work at 5:30. I informed him these hours are insane for someone work your condition. I don't think this is the job for you. I honestly don't mind him quitting and looking for a job with better hours, since I make enough on my own to support a family of 3. But he refuses to not work for even a day.
Yesterday he goes to work at 10am comes home at 1am. Has a seizure at 3. This was the worst one I have seen. It was so bad that I ended up sleeping on the floor for the remainder of the night to keep an eye on him, but far way enough that he can remain asleep. He was so weak after the first one, that I had to carry him to the restroom. My doctor told me its harmful for.the paper to do any heavy lifting. So at this point 2 lives are in danger instead of one.
Before he feel asleep after the second one, I told him that I cannot allow you to go into work before 12pm. He made it adamant that he was going in at 10am tomorrow. At this point it was around 5am. He was gonna sneak and go to work at 10 like he did at his old job. So I was like fuck it. I got up at 7:30am. And I hid the spare key to the apartment. I made sure his bank account was empty so he couldn't take a lyft or a bus. And I took my car to work with me.
I know he just started working there, but this is one of the days he needs to call in. Just for a couple more hours of sleep. I know he will not, since he has done this in the past. I am waiting on him to wake up now. But I'm scared about the call. I don't think I can take this anymore. Its getting to the point that if he goes in, I'm filing for separation.
AITA for giving for making him choose between his job or his family. I'm I the asshole for possibly getting him fired today | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
9rzcVwP5rGLria78oFiTQaqeWsfSMnu2 | b2vnji | null | AITA? Was I Overreacting Or Is She? | So it was two days ago, (Last Sunday), when me and my girlfriend (ex girlfriend now) were on the phone video calling. She was busy dusting and her phone was basically dead, (On one percent), and she said she'd put her phone on charge upstairs and that she'd call me back when she was done. I recall my first text to her being something like "How long does it take to dust jeez" after about and hour and I didn't get a response for about another hour, at this point I started worrying about her and asking if she was okay etc. Still no response. I panicked and decided that I should go to her house to check on her and make sure she was okay, I got a text off her while I was on the bus like "huh" anyways I responded asking if she was okay and stuff and she was like "im fine" and she started asking if I was really on my way to her house and I just explained I was and I was going back home. Anyways after telling her this she immediately started saying that I was upsetting her and I said I was sorry and she started talking about how I was being an asshole basically and when I repeated that I was sorry I got no reply for about an hour until she finally said "Watching Netflix". She said she was annoyed when I asked if she wanted to talk later and that was the last I heard from her. A few minutes later I get a text from an unknown number. It's her mother, she said that she no longer wanted to be my girlfriend or friend at all in that matter. She didn't just break up with me in text, she got her mother to break up with me in text. Anyways I've been struggling to understand who's in the wrong here,
Am I the asshole, or is she? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
eVVso09p9E9tMc8dORTDknTpXnat0h7l | 9uzt8y | {
"description": "being late to meet up with my gf on her birthday because I was baking her a cake",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for being late to meet up with my gf on her birthday because I was baking her a cake? | Ok so this happened a few months ago and we have since broken up (for various reasons; butted heads too much) but this still bothers me and I want to know if I’m in the wrong. So her birthday was coming up and I asked her how she wanted to spend the day; it fell on a weekend so we were both off and I’d be able to enjoy the whole day with her. She said she wanted to go to a high end strip mall about two hours away to go shopping, then meet up with some friends at a bar in the evening. She was always into designer clothes and handbags etc. I never understood the hype around that (and I don’t have the money to be able to shop like that) but I said I was fine with it, it’s her birthday and we should do what she wants. Well a few weeks prior to that she had also hinted that she really wanted a strawberry cheesecake for her birthday. I mean really really hinted, not subtle at all. It seemed really important to her so I thought it would be nice if I made it from scratch for her rather than buying it. I’d never made a cheesecake before so I was a little nervous I would screw it up but I started doing research to prepare for it, learned how to do all the cool stuff like make the wavy details on the top with puréed strawberries and stuff. Online I read that cheesecake tastes the best when it’s prepared within 24 hours of being eaten so I figured I would stay at my place the night before and start it around 9am so I’d be ready to go leave for the strip mall at noon; I got home late the night before and didn’t have time to make it before bed. Well, I completely underestimated the time it would take me to make a cheesecake and ended up WAY behind schedule; it didn’t help that my electric mixer died halfway through and I had to run over to a neighbor’s and borrow theirs. The cake was supposed to be a surprise, but after constant texts of why I’m so late and what I’m doing I decided to tell her. I thought it would make her slightly more understanding (knowing that I was trying to make her happy instead of goofing off with friends or oversleeping) but it just got her more angry with me. She claimed that the strip mall was what she really wanted to do for her birthday and the cake meant nothing to her, I should’ve just bought one instead of delaying everything. I realized I was in the fault by not planning better, and she really hates when I’m late to things, but her reaction surprised me and hurt a bit. I ended up getting to her house around 3pm with the cake. She said we didn’t have any time to go shopping anymore and wouldn’t let me take her somewhere a little closer by. Eventually she calmed down a bit and was happy with the cake (especially when she tasted it, go me) and we were able to have a nice night out with her friends. We went to the strip mall the next weekend and got there super early so she could stay all day. I thought it was over and done with at this point and that she’d forgiven me but she would continuously bring up how I ruined her birthday when we had fights down the line. Was I in the wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
FZONvbSDW6JXCoUcam0CvWHxs5NdFGYm | akbsvs | {
"description": "wanting a break from caring about my Ex, also I insulted her later on",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: For Wanting A Break From Caring About My Ex, Also I insulted her later on | (Quick rundown) The last two months I have been friends with this girl, (We became friends, then we started dating, then she broke up with me because she liked a different dude) I cared about her a lot, I would always let her vent her problems onto me, But we broke up two weeks ago, during the breakup she was complaining about the boy she liked, saying he doesn't love me and other stuff like that, (3 fricken hours after we broke up) I was complaining to one of my friends about this for the entire time, we stopped talking for a couple of days then she came back and said how much she missed me and wanted me back, "i'm giving you a second chance" Her own words. So I hit her with that hard nope. 5 hours later, she says this, hey I got a boyfriend, And this is where it all went downhill.
I would always listen to her problems but my friends were getting really worried about me at this point (She basically transferred her depression onto me) so one of them went to her and told her to stop talking to me. Of course, she got mad. But she continued to talk to me, but she would talk about what her and her boyfriend did that day, (Giving me obvious sadness due to me pouring a lot into this girl) So one night, she came to me to talk about her problems, and I wanted a break for this one night. I told her I wasn't in the mood for caring then went on a rant about none of her friends caring about her and then she blocked me, she treated me like I didn't exist and when I contacted her she said she hated me, I got mad and started insulting her, I was fed up at this point, She said she was fed up with my bullshit so I blocked her.
(Most of my friends considered what was happening with me emotional abuse, I could go into more detail in the future, but now I don't want to get into it, short version is: She would almost daily bring up cutting herself and even once said she would kill herself, This has caused me to have many breakdowns, mainly because I couldn't do anything to help her as she lived an hour away from me and she refused any help except from me and her best friend, she broke up with me because of another dude, that left me crying because I didn't feel worthy enough. I literally broke down crying when one of my friends was comforting me, that friend cared about me more than my girlfriend ever did, but please give me honest feedback, if this post gets enough traction I may go into the entire story) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
qwWOkA6v3ndyilezmbqduwIhAII26VLM | aw8thx | {
"description": "getting a \"Roommate\" Fired",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting a "Roommate" Fired? | TLDR at bottom.
Some background. I had moved in with some family out of state and was told everything was set. (Internet, food, power, jobs.)
Surprise when I get there none of that was there. No one had a job. There was about 6 people living in a tiny trailer, 4 guys, 2 girls. Not including the people who would just drop by. For 850 a month (minus expenses). Only Me, my cousin, and my uncle were able to find work after a week or two.
Then the main new guy "moved in" Maybe a month later.
At first me and my cousin shared a room but after a while of everyone hanging out in there I was told to "move my bed to the kitchen so I can have some space." I didn't think much of it and did as I was told.
I made a little blanket fort in the back of the kitchen so I could block out some light and get some sleep before work. I had gotten my first real job and wanted to do my best there.
Now this new guy there was a worst influence then the family I moved in with. He did some hard drugs and got my cousin back into smoking meth. Needless to say I wasn't the biggest fan of his. But he did help bring in some money here and there, and was good friends with my cousin. so I kept my mouth shut.
Here's where the AITA comes in.
After a month or so I got sick of this man. He was over all the time. Didn't pay rent and ate our very limited food. He would always reply with, "once we (him and his mom, who also smoked meth) get our welfare we'll help out!" Even though he had a job painting doors.
(Learned after I moved out he did get welfare and when he did he never came over again)
After a night of drinking I had to sleep through for my job the next day, this man's phone alarm goes off, and no one gets up but me. Normally I'm a nice guy, I would have woken him up but I was tired from there BS all night, had work later, and didn't really give a fuck about him at this point.
About an hour of this 10 second loop of a metal song I Don't know plays before he finally gets up. Checking his phone he yelled, "shit!" Before calling his boss.
an hour late? yep, This man was fired.
I moved out a week or so later when my uncle told me that if I go back home to see my sick and dying grandpa to just move back in with my parents. So I did.
Gandpap lived another 6 years :)
TL:DR a junky who lived with us and got my cousin addicted to meth over selpt his alarm. I woke up and didn't wake him. I Pretended to be asleep so he would miss work and get fired. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L6vF2Q7vPYeaqCVk62hVDroITQ2LHZkI | a9xtzq | {
"description": "joking around with my friend about a guy who likes her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for joking around with my friend about a guy who likes her? | English isn't my first language, I apologize for any mistakes.
So I'm still in high school, yeah we're just teens. I don't like drama and I don't like bringing drama upon myself. I had a friend, let's name her Faith. She told me through chat that another friend of mine, let's call him Giant, liked her. Typical crush stuff. I found it hilarious since it was very unpredictable and I didn't expect that Faith was the sort of girl Giant would fall for. Giant's immature and childish, while Faith's the exact opposite. I wasn't aware that it was supposed to be a secret, I wasn't even aware that no one knew about this.
I texted Giant saying "Faith pala, ah 🤔" which translates to "So it's Faith, huh 🤔" in English. He replied to "Pano mo nasabi?" which translates to "How'd you know" or "How'd you say that". Before I replied, Faith messaged me saying why I told Giant. Turns out Giant asked Faith if she told me anything about it. I was 100% honest the whole time, and said that I only asked to know if it was true (which is my actual intention)
Faith got mad at me. SO MAD. I apologized twice through message and she left it on seen. I tried to talk to her the next day at school, she ignored me and continued to do her own thing. I felt like shit and I felt guilty for so many weeks. There were so many times that I said hi and tried to talk to her so I can apologize, but she just walks away.
Faith and I had a couple of friends, sort of like a group. We were 5. They don't know about what happened, but she cut the ties between me and that group. I wasn't invited to the stuff they did, they didn't hang out with me, and she made them ignore me too. I felt so bad because I offended her, and I probably deserve this shit. The thing is, if other people did that to her, I bet she wouldn't react like how she did to me.
Am I the asshole for doing this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6RVPfxpK0ancTUm1t7jKeP8JE34n51Xe | agg7lp | {
"description": "getting upset with a friend for canceling plans with me three times in a row at the last minute",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset with a friend for canceling plans with me three times in a row at the last minute? | So I’ve been talking to this girl for a few months now (since october). We hang out usually once or twice a week. But since before Christmas, we haven’t had time to hang out. She was out of town with family, and so I was.
Since the start of the new year, we’ve only hung out once. After that one time, I’ve tried to make plans to hang out with her on multiple occasions, but due to her busy schedule, and my more lax one, she couldn’t really.
We finally agreed to hang out one night, a few days in advanced. She tells me she started to feel sick, but hoped it would pass. They day comes for us to hang out, and she cancels because she’s sick. That’s okay. I understand. Being sick sucks.
She postponed it to a Sunday afternoon/evening. I agree and the day comes. She cancels again, citing a ridiculous amount of work to do in preparation for the school week. (She’s a teacher. Again, I’m disappointed but I understand. Teachers don’t have an easy job.)
We postpone yet again to tonight when we’re both free. I texted her when I got off of work to see if were still hanging out, and she responds again saying that she has to cancel because she had a really rough day and is in an awful mood and headspace. I tell her that it’s okay, and we can rain check. She says she feels really bad that she had to cancel our plans. I just tell her that it’s just a series of unfortunate events and we’ll just raincheck again.
I already have a bad history of this happening to me through past relationships and friendships, so I’m getting some ptsd from it. I want to be able to clearly talk about why this upsets me so much to her, but I wouldn’t even know how or where to start. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Z89HJhIdcPXQBRHplmAAHPOQ4EVh27yN | b5a54a | {
"description": "thinking about myself, for once",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking about myself, for once? | So, on December 29th, I (16) realized, after years of thinking, that I’m trans. I’ve tried gender nonconformity but it didn’t seem right. This does. I came out to my family in early January. After I told my mom she told my dad who then told me I was going to hell and that I’d get all my instruments and electronics taken away if I “continued on this path”. Fast foreword a couple of weeks and my older sister (who, by the way, is bisexual, making her part of the LGBT community) is saying I’m being selfish when this is like the first time I’ve done something for myself or thought about myself in a very long time. She also told me that I’m disrespecting the LGBT community because “real transgender people realize they’re trans as children”. A week later my friend, who I thought I could trust, calls me mentally disabled. AITA for thinking about myself, for once? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5nTo6HgbYlhvzaijaRW1idusEHj3PKJa | aqeke6 | {
"description": "not wanting to see someone who I used to loathe",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to see someone who I used to loathe? | So this girl was my babysitter's daughter so I had no choice but to hang out with her. Sh was the bully. She bullied everyone. Even the toddlers. Sometimes her brother. She'd often make the little kids cry. She yelled at me a lot, was low-key manipulative, thought she was generally better than me. Her mom kind of enabled her too. After fifth grade her family moved away, but my mom made me go to her house on occasion.
Even tho I'd rather not. Now we're both in high school and she told my mom she'd like to see me sometime. But I's rather not. I don't hate her. It's just we're a lot different and I don't put up with what she used to do when we were little.
TLDR: I was forced to be friends with a jerk, said jerk wants to meet up again. I'd rather not. AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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