id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
tzxczzw7CZtDNtlcNsiUgua48GFUkctk | aixia7 | {
"description": "tweeting about a catholic private school",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for tweeting about a Catholic private school? | There’s a private school in my area that I’ve had family and friends go to, and it has a reputation for being a not-so-nice place. I had a friend who was “asked” to leave because she was pregnant, a teacher was fired for being gay, etc. The student handbook even mentions these things being against the gospel.
I tweeted about a race issue—I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I did. I went to the private Catholic elementary prep school that you’re meant to go to before the high school, so I know I’m right. I’m just not sure if it was an asshole thing to say.
I live in the Deep South, and there’s this kind of unspoken thing where extremely “competitive” private schools are basically segregation academies. They’ll have a few kids of color—but it’s mostly white kids. My parents and a few friends parents have even said, out loud, that this is the primary reason that they send their kids to this private school.
I live in a predominately black area, so a private school with 95% white kids just seems a little weird honestly. I know it’s not a coincidence.
So I tweeted something alluding to that, and holy shit.
I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it, because no one really interacts on Twitter, but people fucking lost it.
I had kids DMing me and posting about me, calling me an idiot and insulting me, bringing up Trump(why?), etc. They had a few kids come to my defense which was nice but there were way more people sending me hate.
I stopped responding a while ago but they still have people tweeting about me and I just wonder if maybe I was an asshole to tweet that. But then I think that it’s all public and it’s not like I was attacking these kids personally.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FBs0IAgwomKonhlPxAtoTIfg8stAHwuR | axc6rv | {
"description": "badmouthing a co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for badmouthing a co-worker? | I know the title sounds negative, but hear me out.
Two and a half weeks ago we brought on a new worker, whose main purpose is to make phone calls, send emails and schedule meetings for sales reps.
Onboarding him really shouldn't have taken long, by the middle of week 1 he was already expected to make 100 calls a day, knowing full well most of those wouldn't be answered, taking no more than 30 seconds. It took him almost until the end of week 2.
To compare, the person who used to do this job was able to do 300 a day. It's been 2.5 weeks, this guy has hit 150 once, his daily target is 200.
The problem isn't his underperformance, though, it's the fact that he doesn't listen. I've told him, his manager has told him, our boss has told him and the CEO has told him, but he seems unable or unwilling to do his job. He goes off on random tangents, developing RSS dashboards, calling people not on his lists, and taking time to research each person before he calls them, something which is entirely unnecessary. We've repeatedly told him, all off us, to just make phone calls, but he keeps trying to be smarter than everyone, trying to fix things that aren't broken.
Yesterday he had another conversation about performance with his manager. Literally five minutes later he was discussing going off on another tangent with me, trying to tell me how to do my job. I tried getting him back on track, I'm not sure how successful I was.
Obviously, his performance is hurting the entire team, and it doesn't look to change. I've been trying to keep him focused, but our work hours don't completely overlap.
I was discussing this with one of my colleagues on the team, saying we needed to find someone who could actually do the job. A girl from another department entirely came by and said I was an asshole for talking about him like that, and it wasn't his fault for things not working out.
Am I an asshole for talking shit about him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
i2YFhJrT1ShtP47a1gOyD8pVs9e3Nxx4 | b5dyi7 | {
"description": "thinking my partners relationship with her nieces is inappropriate",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA-For thinking my partners relationship with her nieces is inappropriate | Some backstory, my partner is a triplet. One of the other triplets has 2 young kids. The one girl is ready for preschool now.
​
My partner is demanding to be involved in the school selection, thinks that the eldest girl is gifted (despite the child being clearly delayed). Her sister is on board with helping, but they are all very codependent. Both kids were fathered by an alcoholic abusive man who makes no contributions to raising them, but is at the family house every day to keep control. The mother lives with her parents as well.
​
My partner is utterly obsessed with her one niece, but not the other. The niece she is obsessed with is a little terror, identical to her father. She often displays signs of developmental delays and aggression. The other is very sweet and calm, very easy going baby. She calls the older niece 'her baby'. Will literally tell people that it is her child. She will interrupt peoples conversations, appointments, etc to talk about 'her baby'. I know she is a triplet and they have stronger bonds, but this one is a daily issue. We do not even live in the same city as the nieces. I find it embarrassing when she talks to others outside the family, that have confused looks and look to me to clarify or explain.
​
Each time 'her baby' goes to any appointment, she demands to be there. Will throw a fit if they go without her. She gets extra gifts for her favorite niece, will get a little something for her each time she visits, or on other peoples birthdays so 'her baby' doesn't feel left out. I have talked to her about the bias and how she is inevitably teaching the kid to expect gifts and be demanding.
​
Am I the Asshole for thinking all this or is she just have really strong family bond. Especially with the first born niece. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ro7lV9RiPaXmX9Okum1unzsm9CZuprGK | b2tj0s | {
"description": "filing a missing persons report for my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for filing a missing persons report for my best friend? | My best friend had been dating this guy for about two months when she told me she was going on a road trip with her boyfriend. This road trip would’ve been about 8-9 hours.
Initially I was super uncomfortable with it since I’ve never met him or spoken to him and she absolutely refused to let us meet or tell anyone about him,, especially her parents.
She said she was going to be gone for three days and I saw her last on Friday. We hung out and she had all her bags with her. She told me that she told her parents that she was gone camping with me which is the first red flag of this story. She also said that I was the only person she told she was going on a trip to and the tplaced all the responsibility on me.
We both live in the same neighbourhood about five minutes from each other and this lie didn’t even make sense. Before I could say anything else she left as her boyfriend picked her up.
Three days later and I haven’t heard from her at all and I was getting worried. She promised she would tell me when she got there but nada. She was off all social media and my texts weren’t going through and I couldn’t contact any of her friends since she refused to let me meet them too. I may be salty.
I started getting anxious as I kept thinking she might’ve been murdered or had an accident so I went to her brother first and told her what was going on and then we both spoke to their parents. Her mom went into hysterics and we immediately went to the police department to file a report.
The officer working with us was encouraging me to try and hack her social media to find information as well as find the social media of her boyfriend. Eventually they were able to reach her boyfriend and it turns out she flew to Cuba and didn’t consider the consequences of her lies.
She said I broke her trust and that I ruined our friendship because I was worried about her. AITA?
We’re all adults btw. I realize she can do whatever the hell she wants but it was unfair to me and I feel like I did the right thing. I miss her so much but she treated me so poorly. Am I just too clingy or should I have just not gotten involved? Smh | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
gR5uvoT7p4PZZ0pKkKqHLm3qmMQNn2ab | aq4ynk | {
"description": "bailing on my brother/his car after we got stuck in a snow storm",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for bailing on my brother/his car after we got stuck in a snow storm? | Some context-
Snow is not common here. Because snow is uncommon, we decided to revel in it and take a drive. During that drive the storm picked up. There is a hill on our way home that is unavoidable and it was simply too slick to get up when we got back. Also, nobody knows how to deal with it and nobody has chains or emergency gear in their car because there hasn't been significant snow in our nick of the woods in, as far as I know, over a decade. There were half a dozen cars ahead of us so even if we'd been driving some four-wheel drive SUV pseudo tank we wouldn't have made it.
The clock was ticking and I was getting cold and anxious and needed to get home because I require a medication that must be taken regularly.
So, I decided to hike my ass home.
He's not accusing me of being an asshole (if that makes my post on this sub ineligible, please report or whatever, no hard feelings), but he's a very soft spoken/passive person and, as my big brother, very indulgent toward me, so I don't have an unbiased party to either confirm or deny if that was a dick move on my part. I feel massively guilty but I'd like to hear what y'all think.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
BCMrctWlGc8gKrbCw4mp6NJxzbEHPLMF | a4c849 | {
"description": "cutting off toxic friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting off toxic friend | (info) I knew this girl for a few years and we were on and off dating for about 2. Since then she has liked multiple people for a period of nearly 2 weeks and then moved on to the next person. She has a very childish mind.
I started ignoring her completely 6 months ago, and I made it very clear I'm not talking to her anymore. Since then she has started trying to talk to me, either through friends, Instagram, or face to face, and all these times I have ignored her.
Everytime she tries to dm me, I take screenshots and block one of the multiple accounts she's made to try to talk to me, and "confess her love" to me.
I cut her off because I realized she is a bad person, with a toxic personality and she's only going to make me and my friend's worst. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MYiWgAJpGH6wnYeFLIyYsPZJ5zrlj6X9 | 9wykzt | {
"description": "asking a friend who basically stays in our house to clean up after himself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking a friend who basically stays in our house to clean up after himself? | Setting: I live in a 2BHK with a friend and we have a common friend who frequently visits our place to the point that he basically is a third roommate and has his toothbrush here. Keep in mind that he doesn't pay us anything in terms of rent, bills etc... Me and my roommate, being financially conscious use the A/C sparingly keeping in mind the heavy electricity bill that comes with it, but for our friend, he uses it as and when he pleases knowing all well about our situation... but that's ok.
​
General stuff: Whenever he comes here he generally gets food/drinks for himself and disposes off the empty cartons properly most of the time and occasionally me/ my roommate have to be the one to clean up if he randomly drops it somewhere in the house. He uses my clothes sometimes and drops it off at an odd location in our house and then i have to search and store it back in the wardrobe.
​
Today's deal: Our cleaning lady has been sick and hasn't shown up for the past 5 days, and hence our house is in a dirty mess. Litter here and there, trash piling up a bit. I open the fridge and find an empty unwashed bottle of Fanta just lying there, and not giving it too much thought just threw it in the trash can and notified my friend who was the one to buy it and drink it, to just throw away empty bottles instead of leaving them in the fridge. and. he. FLIPPED. he came charging in the kitchen looking for it, found that i already threw it in the trash can, took it from there and was storming outside to throw it out of the house. i stopped him took back the bottle and threw it back in the trash and yelled at him saying that the fridge is not a trash can to leave empty bottles in it. he grumpily went back into a bedroom murmuring why I couldn't throw it myself, why i have to come and tell him about it etc etc....
​
who the asshole?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FvTvUamI3dkHRUQazfLY4HXOvbSDi4Af | a19mkb | {
"description": "cutting out a friend accused of rape",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for cutting out a friend accused of rape? | Using a throwaway here. I don’t think anyone involved comes here but I’m gonna play it safe.
So back in high school two of my friends, let’s call them Jen and Peter, started dating. They ended up dating for something like a year and a half. Their break up was a bit messy. Nothing too crazy but we definitely wouldn’t hang out with the two in the same room together. But there weren’t many details about why or how they broke up.
There are a couple things to note here; Peter was definitely much more attached than Jen was. I figured it was because they were each other’s first SO, but after they broke up, I heard a lot from Peter’s perspective since he and I hung out in the same group of friends more frequently.
Jen is a very devout Christian that isn’t into sex outside of marriage. Peter isn’t religious and doesn’t have much of a moral hangup with sex. Apparently during their relationship Peter wanted to do more and go further than Jen was comfortable with, and basically complained about not getting any action after they broke up. Peter also said that her being as religious as she was put a strain on things, as he is an atheist.
Now this is all knowledge I gained senior year of high school, after they broke up. This was almost 3 years ago. My judgement at the time was that Peter was a bit of a prick, but honestly I didn’t see him and Jen working out in the long run. They’re just so different on so many levels, but that’s not really a problem. Being religious isn’t bad. Being horny isn’t bad. I just figured it was a bad relationship that ended before things got too far.
If only that’s where the story ended.
Last summer Jen texted me, as well as a bunch of our friends. She said that Peter had raped her one night in the back of his car in a parking lot somewhere. And apparently he tried to justify that, and a bunch of other sexual shit he tried to pull, by saying that “love isn’t a sin.” That isn’t love. That’s you being a fucking freak who can’t take no for an answer.
This was the last straw for my friendship with Peter. We were friends for a long time, but over time he just became more and more of an asshole. But we still had our good times, so I kept in touch with him and that circle of friends. But now I have no desire to ever see him again. Jen was one of my best friends from high school. I never knew he had hurt her as bad as he did.
But the issue now is that that circle of friends still hangs with him, and while I’d love to hang out with them again, I don’t wanna have anything to do with Peter, who is with them most of the time. In fact some of them don’t even think he actually did anything. I brought it up to one of our friends (let’s call him Greg) and he said that he didn’t think it was true. Granted there’s no solid evidence, and there probably never will be. But Jen’s not the kind of person to make up a lie that malicious. And with some of the things Peter told me in the past, it’s all just makes sense to me.
I guess what I’m asking is whether or not it was worth it to cut him out of my life, at the expense of possibly losing touch with other long-time friends
tl;dr - Two friends dated in high school, later broke up, and a couple years later I found out that the guy raped the girl. I never want to interact with the guy again, but we have a lot of mutual friends that still stand by him. Is it worth it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
QQ4TssI5OVXl95FIGhdG30Ge1p9k4bDK | an7iwo | {
"description": "cutting all contact with a girl I used to have a crush with",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting all contact with a girl I used to have a crush with | I just discovered this subreddit a little while ago and I figured out this would be the best place to get rid of something that's been bothering me since the start of the year.
So, this one needs a ton of context, please stand with me. 2018 just started and next year I would enter University, but to do that first I would need to prepare for a national entry test to see if people meet the requirements of the university here in my country, to help with the task there are educational entities called pre-universities, who work besides regular schools, to lend a hand with studies making sure people remember everything they had learned over the past years.
Here starts my story, I entered in one of these establishments to make sure I would enter University, some of my school friends also entered here. I had chemistry classes with at the same hour with one of my friends so we ended up in the same classroom. All goes dandy until my friend noticed that this girl ended up in the same classroom as us, they met prior to the start of classes in some clubs that the pre-university does before the start of the scholar year. He introduced me to her and I needless to say I found her really beautiful.
Time passed by and we both got to know each other, at the time she had a boyfriend so I didn't expected to be nothing more than a friend to her, I was cool with that, at least at that time. My group of friends ended up meeting more people and we ended up with our little family there.
All good until we were near the end of the year, I had enough bottling up my own emotions, I didn't told her how I felt about her and ended up hiding the truth from her all the time, even when we ended up trusting each other, we both made clear of that. So I ended up growing balls and I was slowly building up the confidence to tell her how I felt. All the poems I made for her, all the dreamy situations I created, I was tired of dreaming, I wanted to see reality.
That was until I saw one of her Instagram stories, I had the gut feeling that something bad was happening so I tried to know if she was okay, she ended up asking me if she could call me to talk, because at that time I was the only one she could trust, that's when I knew something bad was coming.
She ended up telling about all the shit that's been going on at her house, she ended up telling me about how people used to bully her back in middle school, ended up telling me of how bad she felt when people she thought was her friend ended up leaving her in the past years, and a lot more dark things about her. I didn't knew how to act back then, I ended up telling her my story too (but that's other thing) and told her that I would prefer to talk face to face and saying that I would be by her side.
I thought I made the right choice, but for some reason it didn't feel like it. I felt awful, I felt useless, I felt I could have done more for her, I felt I could actually help her but instead I was holding back for some petty feelings. I wanted better for her, I thought that if I was out of her life it would be better, I thought saying my feelings as a goodbye would be the best.
The day came by and we ended up talking face to face about everything, about her problems and all of that, but she was way better than that day when she called me. I didn't feel like it, but I ended up confessing her, I even bought her some chocolates as a last goodbye. I expected worse but she ended up telling me it was okay, there was nothing bad about how I felt, about her and her situation, in fact she told me she found me attractive and also different from the other people she knew, she said that if I had confessed sooner there might be a chance we ended up together. Needless to say it was the best day I've ever had with her, in fact we ended up skipping classes just to talk more, by the evening it was time for us to say goodbye and there I was with goofiest smile on my face.
But for some reason everything still felt wrong, I felt like if I was too late, I felt that she lied to not hurt me, I don't know. I decided I wanted to be alone for a little bit and so I did. From now on the problems starts to arise, I noticed that if it wasn't for me starting up the conversation she wouldn't talk to me at all, and also that she started to talk less and less with me.
The last of classes started to come by and our relationship was kinda better than before, we talked more but still not as much as before, in the final class I ended up asking I we would meet again once we do the entry test and all of this university shenanigans end, and she said of course we would because we are friends.
And then is just one shit show after the other, before the test I would ask her how she was doing but she would leave me on read, I didn't blame her because once is nothing, but then more and more time passed by and she wouldn't respond me, nor my friends, like if she disappeared from the face of the earth. At that time I was distraught to say the least, I felt like I was depending on her way too much, so I ended up muting her insta but I would still come by to check her stories, then one day she would respond me saying that she's been feeling like shit in the past couple of weeks and that she needed some time alone, I respected that and I would give her all the time she needed, but I ended up asking if there was anything I could do to help, I expected a "don't worry, I'll be fine" but she left me on read again.
I was mad now, I knew she needed some time alone but leaving me on read over and over was really messing up with me and my emotions, so I ended up unfollowing her on social media.
The weeks after that were a bliss, I finally made peace with myself and my emotions, I felt that if she talked to me I would do it in total peace, and indeed she talked to me in Christmas to wish me a happy Christmas and a new year, I did the same and curious about her state I asked how she was doing, I waited, one day, five days, on read once again, time waiting for her to respond my on read passed by and nothing. Now I was angry.
I ended up cutting ties, I didn't want to know anything about her, I blocked her and everything, not even a goodbye. Time passed by and my anger finally subdued, I ended up unblocking her and she ended up putting her account on private, she doesn't talk to my friends either, like if last year didn't happened at all. And that's about it.
At the time I acted thinking in myself, I was tired that my mood would depend on her and her actions, I was tired of being the heartbroken mess, and I was tired of being a heartbroken in her eyes. I thought it was the best for the both of us, I would finally stop being an emotional mess and she would get rid of an delusional try of a lover. It seems that everything ended up good for both of us.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I start to talk to her once again, if I hurt her from disappearing from her life without any kind of reason and if I would get a chance at love. But deep down I know I wonder if I'm the bad guy on the story, or if she's the bad one, or both, or hell none of us.
Sorry for such a long story but I wanted to get rid of this for so long... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nYwGnoJ1iZeX7vr7OXPkZ3mlNzEf5pHr | b12p18 | {
"description": "not pretending to be happy for my SIL getting engaged when we all know her relationship is a dumpster fire",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not pretending to be happy for my SIL getting engaged when we all know her relationship is a dumpster fire? | Some background on their relationship. SIL and her fiance have been together a little under a year now. Only about 6-7 months if you exclude all the time they have been broken up (on 3 separate occasions). Reasons for breakups.
1. He wasn't "motivated enough" she said because he worked part time and used public transport. He got a better paying job that he hates so he could afford a car to impress her.
2. She "needed to be free" which was code for "I want to take a trip to my old home town and sleep with some guys I had a thing for back in high school." After a few days back home at different men's homes she came back and immediately got back together with fiance.
3. This time she broke up because she thought she had a chance with her boss. He turned her down and she took fiance back *again.* Total breakup time was about 12 hours.
Well the last breakup happened a couple weeks ago and just the other day fiance (who I'm convinced doesn't actually have a spine or any sense of self worth) proposed to SIL just 2 days after she complained to him in front of the entire family that she has been waiting for him to propose. When my wife told me about it I shrugged and said "cool." Wife is more sick of her shit than I am having grown up with her so she and I were both pretty "meh" about it.
Well we were just over at my MIL and FIL's for dinner with SIL, fiance, wife and I. SIL was showing off her ring and I said "it looks nice." Everything seemed fine, but a few hours later FIL and MIL came up to me and told me how I need to be more enthusiastic and supportive of the engagement. I told them that I won't be a jerk to her, but we all have seen how the relationship has played out. It has been a dumpster fire. I was told my comment was out of line, and my wife agrees. She thinks I am not wrong to not be as enthusiastic as her parents want though.
Am I the asshole for being lukewarm on this whole thing? She treats him like shit and he takes it. Fine his choice, but I don't feel like I have to be enthusiastically congratulating her on an engagement when I honestly think it is going to end either before they even get married or shortly after when she gets bored and starts cheating on him now that she can't just make short temporary break ups to clear her conscience when she wants to sleep with other men. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
14F7ExNeZfaSfv5P3D4MtphnTXvCGHT0 | akjlq4 | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend to walk his dog 4-5 times a week",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to walk his dog 4-5 times a week? | Back info: I've lived in a big city with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I've struggled with having to handle said dog. Dog is a big cutie, and I don't mind occasionally buying dog food or that kind of thing if I'm paid back. But still, dog isn't mine.
My budget is tighter than what I can live off of, but I was a disabled child, expected to immediately receive SSI and all of that once I became an adult. That didn't happen, but I was advised to not attempt to work until the court hearings and whatnot were over, so I live off of about 200 or less a month (after rent, which is 200. Got lucky with this one). When my boyfriend was out of a job, I assumed dog food duties and general care, but now he has a job, so I've put an end to that.
I've stressed over the past 3 years that I do not have the capabilities to properly care for the dog. Walking distances (dog is one of those active kinds) is painful due to my disease, my shoulder easily dislocates. The dog isn't very walking-friendly, and tends to jerk my shoulder.
The dog also doesn't keep pace when walking, but tries to run ahead. She's attempted to run out into the street (thankfully empty) more than once, but since she's doesn't do this with my boyfriend, he just rolls his eyes and jokes that its typical dog behavior for her. (The dog is an abuse survivor, so she has alot of weird habits. She's bonded with him during her recovery and doesn't like women very much.)
Anyway, I tend get stuck walking the dog. Last semester, I broke and told him that I was having too many issues with my health and my college classwork was taking up too much of my energy. He agreed to walk the dog 3-4 days a week, on specific days. This worked great, my health improved. It got to a point where some weeks, I could even take the dog on an extra walk! My stress was reduced, and I didn't dislike the dog's (often annoying) habits as much.
But I went on a family vacation for two weeks for the holidays. Now I'm back, and I've expected the same set up, or at least to not have to worry about walking the dog on his off days. It's been a month, and I've walked the dog every single day. I'm struggling to keep up my energy between the dog, college, job interviews, and doctors. Due to my boyfriend's previous reactions ("But I'm working and it hurts my feet alot" and "well you're not busy/working or doing alot of housework") that have been constant any time I ask this kind of question, I leave the question to you people.
Would I be the asshole for asking for him to walk his dog 4 days out of the week? Maybe 5 days out of the week? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
e3vnhzHma5cu3x2wQKSGa0TIPjfn1Vxh | amyjqc | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to borrow my vape",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to borrow my vape? | Background: my girlfriend (27) and I (29) both vape the green in a legal state. Originally we shared one vape, but after a few times when one of us would go out and take it with, she suggested getting another one so we each had our own, and I agreed. We now have a matching pair.
She smokes at least 4 times as much/often as I do, which means she needs to buy cartridges more often. There's already been one or two occasions where she couldn't afford one and asked if she could borrow some of mine, and on those occasions I let her use mine, although it made me roll my eyes a bit as she had plenty of leaf she could have smoked.
​
Earlier today she found that drained her cartridge again and asked if she could borrow mine. I asked why she didn't just go get some from the store, and she said it was cold and she didn't want to walk right now. I said yes, but was grumbling about it, and we got into a small argument which ended with her saying that I was "making a thing out of this" and that if I didn't want her to use it, then I should just tell her no.
I thought for a moment and said that I love her, and would prefer if she didn't use my vape. So she left to go get her own cartridge, after making it clear she's pretty upset and thinks I'm being ridiculous. She said she was not expecting me to think of the vapes as "mine" and "hers" in the first place... but I find that hard to believe because she made sure hers was her favorite color and uses that one exclusively (until it runs out, anyway).
​
My position is that for something non-essential like smoking weed, "I don't want to walk to the store" is a pretty lame reason not to take care of things for yourself, and it feels like I'm basically just being tapped as an accessory for laziness.
​
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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tHRMDqrWZQwd4OkDt2tlb4xaGmzXf3Yp | az99pf | {
"description": "lying to my wife about fertility problems? I'm just not ready to have kids",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 51
} | AITA for lying to my wife about fertility problems? I’m just not ready to have kids. | For the last year or so my wife has wanted to have a baby. Like baby rabies on steroids. For the about the same about of time I’ve pretended to have orgasms, then go and finish off in the sink. I got a bad bladder infection so I would always just say I had to pee right after sex to prevent it, so she wasn’t on go what I was doing.
For a long time it was great, we were having a ton of sex, she was super nice to me, we got along great. But today she was balling her eyes out because she got her period and she confessed she thought her body thought she was pregnant this time. I finally got my first tinge of guilt.
I know I feel guilty but am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 51
} | WRONG |
RV64jzBtd8jmUR9igF5aYIq21BOZ7Mae | ahl2wp | {
"description": "assuming a customer had a girlfriend/wife/sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for assuming a customer had a girlfriend/wife/sister? | Lore: I work at Vans, and it's my job to help customers get the shoes they need. I have a routine conversation I ask customers when I see them checking out a shoe, typical "what's up man just looking or need help" etc. When they pick the shoe they want, I ask the size and if it's a woman or men's size. (Conversion for ex is men's 6 is women's 7 1/2, so when you're just told 'size 8' you don't bring out a half size off shoe).
​
It's a few days before Christmas. I see a customer checking a pair out, and I ask the dude if he wanted to see a pair. He said yes, in a size 9.
​
I asked him if that would be a woman's or men's size. He is visually surprised by this, and asks me "What? Do I look like a woman now?" I replied by letting him know that a men's size is different than a woman's and I need the specific size to bring the right fit. He tells me that it doesn't matter why I asked- he is a man and obviously wants a men's shoe.
​
I replied verbatim "it's almost like we're in some sort of Holiday season associated with gifting presents to your wife, girlfriend, or sister?" I meant this in the most light-hearted joking way
​
He tells me "So I have a wife and sister now?" Genuinely offended and taken back.
​
I got his shoes and he didn't have anything else to say after, but I can't help wonder now that I've had a month to look back, was I the asshole there? I just figured he was an insecure asshole, but did I overstep the line? I know it's not the biggest earth shaking moral dilemma ever known but it's been irritating me | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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PdPXUqI1EQuGZFITwszGcMtOb72ymR0D | ayh07i | {
"description": "subconsciously discriminating against black gamers on Xbox",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for subconsciously discriminating against black gamers on Xbox? | So today I had a moment where I caught myself and I'm self reflecting about this.
So a little back story, I don't like people chewing, burping, playing music, and or smoking through the mic on Xbox, we have mute buttons people. I typically end up kicking these people instantly
So when I go through Lfgs (people I invite from look for group posts) I avoid people who say they're a stoner rather it says so in their gamer tag, picture, or actual lfg post.
In the past few months I've noticed that majority of these people who I've run into who act like this are black.
Today when inviting people from lfg I caught myself dismissing people who's user name/picture references some sort of black current hip hop culture (guy with the skittles teeth) and now I'm just in the AITA sprial.
I'm on mobile so go easy on my structure/lack of information
TLDR I don't want to hear bong rips or music through party chats on Xbox which subconsciously led me to dismissing people who could be black. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
4CspMiK0thTWdzmdsHLU7IsQZuFnSCS3 | afe025 | {
"description": "getting angry at my dad for saying the \"n word\" at the dinner table",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for getting angry at my dad for saying the "n word" at the dinner table? | Context:
He was trying to explain some trashy news article that wasn't relevant to the conversation we were having. He then goes onto say something like "and then the big black n*gger" (I hope you can excuse my crassness and language) and repeatedly used that word. Not because he was trying to be racist but when he was growing up, his excuse, was that that was "a thing that happened and it was the culture."
I got pissed. Really pisses and started raising my voice saying you can't use that. Ever. And now he's pissed **at me** for telling him not to say it.
Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
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"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
xKwKcgjLCKVtQLqrlpslsOwP7UeGaepL | af5oj3 | null | AITA from causing my GF of 5 years break up with me | It all started 5 years ago when I would stream for fun. We met and talked for a long time and hit it off. We became super good friends and would text everyday and that eventually turned into a relationship. At the time she was working and not in college and I was in the middle of careers. After being together for 1 year we were able to move in together where I live (Different state), she was living in LA beforehand. I we were here for about 1 year, she took a community college course and worked some while I was still finding a job. When I found one in LA I was able to move down into a house where some other of the same employee's lived (kind of like a dorm). She moved back with her parents and continued schooling. It became an online relationship somewhat as our schedules did not meet that well and neither of us had cars to easily get to eachother. We texted a lot during the day about what we are doing and always looked forward to the future. This continued for around 3 years, we were able to meet during breaks and sometimes have 1 whole month of living together. I actually have messaged "Goodmorning love" or something along those lines alongside "Goodnight love" for over 4 years.
3 Months ago my career took a big turn, we still talked and got to meet occasionally and definitely were still in love, but I was not sure if I was going to be able to stay within LA. 1.5 months ago I had to move away, she was there the final week with me during this time. I told her I am going to do everything I can to make myself successful, she only had 1-2 years left in school and we would finally get rid of this online relationship. I messaged a lot about what I was doing and would sometimes ask about her. On december 14th she messaged saying how she loved me and misses me so much, she woke up at 4am and could not sleep, she wished to cuddle me and feel safe because she really enjoyed being with me. By december 18th she was messaging less and less, and told me that she was depressed and starting to ask me questions like "Don't you ever wonder if we were not together?, if we would be more successful?" I am a pretty analytical person and said no i dont have those thoughts because it's impossible to know, but i definitely am happy I am with her. I would say goodmorning love, goodnight love, every day (for years as i mentioned), she did too. She stopped at december 18th completely. She would say "morning". I would tell her I want to help her feel better, I wish I could hug and kiss her to make her feel better. She enjoys messages about what I am currently doing. I would send pictures too because she liked that too. She would never respond really, I would ask how she was and said "the same, i am tired.", she said "I am tired of everything. I don't want to do anything in life." I told her we are both in bad places right now but let's stick through it and get through this. Love her miss her etc. Send some pics of myself, tell her hey you were going to the gym not long ago and you stopped, I bet it would make you feel better! This was basically the story up until yesterday. Last week she said she wanted to break up over a message. I said hey let's talk about this, we have had low low's before but always came out of it. We have been together very long and message every day for years and I believe we can make it better. She in the past has always talked about wanting to talk via phone / comms. I would agree but never get around to it. Not that I would put it off, in fact if she ever asked I would of said yes! But she never, ever did. I would need to be the one to ask, if I did not ask then no call happened. She would get upset at me for not calling. I say hey let's not make rash decisions, less than one month ago you said you loved me so much and you said you have depression right now. I want to help. She said she didn't want to hold me back from anything in life and said goodbye. I messaged the next day asking for a phone call because 5 years of relationship ended over a message did not sit well. And what she said was not true, I worked hard to make it so we would have a bright future together. She said that from my constant messages about wanting to call and I am confused that I was pissing her off and she wanted time to think. I said okay and left one final message because I just wanted to let her know that her thoughts of me being held back were wrong, that we have been through rough times, and that I know I could of been a better boyfriend by giving her those calls and was willing to do it now more than ever. It was the biggest time where I was like holy shit I love her lots and this is happening. I believed it would be okay. She replied back 2 days later after those thoughts saying she is done. In my messaged I actually said not 5 years and she pointed that out which seems that she was offended. (I said 4+ years). She said I "had 5 years" and that "she is tired", that I "had my chance but it's over", and "in the future maybe we will meet again, but right now I am not willing to try again with you", alongside an sorry and don't message me for a while. I was shocked.. how did this happen so fast? I pleaded for a phone call because I was confused, she made it seem that the past 5 years were hell. I had many great times with her but from that final message it made it seem that I messed up. After some pleading about asking for the call, and some back and forth about how she said I talked about myself when messaging her and not asking about her. (I thought she just enjoyed listening about what I am doing because she asked me to tell her...) She eventually said to completely stop before she blocks me and that me messaging more would ruin any tiny chance of the future. I am still young and immature but this was really hard on me. I will continue trying to be successful in my life but this was my first really long relationship and I didn't expect less than a month ago that I would be here today. I could of done better but I felt I wasn't the worst and we both could of made it work. I honestly don't know what advice I am asking for here, I feel very lost and confused. I won't be the type of guy who comes crawling back in a week, I know how she is and what is done is done. I just have very recent memories of her and it was wonderful and so recent, I don't know how things turned so quick.
Just scrolling through some of past messages in december there were messages about how she appreciated me sending messages and pictures during her hard time, and that she wont respond sometimes not because she doesnt want to but doesnt have the energy to. She also said that she was planning to get rid of the people in her life that won't help her grow as a person and wasn't afraid to cut ties with anyone (including me) to do so. And that she appreciated me trying to help her through her rough time and she hopes I continue to do so. And at the end that she hopes that I can continue being in her life and helping her grow.... I just don't understand how it got to this point still.
Any advice I guess is appreciated. I am still in shock over this series of events, I felt the relationship was not going this poorly.
| HISTORICAL | {
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YNFSBXfHnjU6btNT5nYdrDzxRY5CV5XW | b30ybr | {
"description": "talking on the phone while giving blood",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for talking on the phone while giving blood? | My university was having a blood drive and I made a point donate because I strongly believe that if you can you should give blood. I went in and did all the questions, talked to a nurse and was sent over to a chair.
Now I’ve donated a few times and have had some not great experiences with needles because I have thin veins (?) or they’re just not ideal. I asked if she wouldn’t mind if I listen to music while she inserted the needle for the IV because I get anxious. I just really don’t like to watch. She was fine with it. I’m sure I wasn’t the only anxious person there or the first person to ask something like that. I want to be clear I wasn’t talking on my phone at this point.
However once I’m hooked up and sitting there my BF called me and I answered since I had my headphones in anyway. It helps distract you to talk to someone and we are doing a LDR with a time difference so we don’t get to talk much in the first place. The guy next to me was watching TV on his phone and the girl on my other side had her homework out. Literally everyone was doing something.
When I finally finished the nurse came over to unhook me and give me the run down. I told my boyfriend I could call him back and hung up, but didn’t remove my headphones. I guess she might have thought I hadn’t ended the phone call? I listened to her, thanked her and was getting my stuff together to head over to the cookie station when one of her colleagues came over and berated me for being on my phone. She told me that the nurse who had helped me was so offended that she hadn’t wanted to come back over and that I should be ashamed of myself for being that rude. She then asked me if I would be on my phone in a doctor’s office and that it was completely disrespectful. I was honestly to shocked to say anything.
I grabbed a juice box and cookies to go because I was too embarrassed to sit there after what had happened.... and I just honestly don’t know if being on my phone crossed a line into asshole territory or if she was just overreacting.
The ironic part is half the conversation with my BF was about how he should donate blood because it’s really not that bad. (Hates needles) | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
7G3RVSzlcCD1QfWGYt4QLLAPjw5PJl0h | amxju1 | {
"description": "completely shutting out my depressed/suicidal ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA I completely shut out my depressed/suicidal ex-girlfriend | Throwaway because she has my Reddit.
I was close friends with this girl for about 3 months until we started dating. We told each other about our depression and we got really close and bonded. I very much remember watching her take out the razor blade she kept in her phone case for when she felt that she messed up and needed to punish herself. Quickly, we fell for each other and started dating. I would usually drive over to her house when she had a depressive episode to help calm her down. It became a monthly thing where she would think I was ignoring her and she would break up with me. (I was usually just busy during the day.) One day, about 5 months into our relationship, she texted me a suicide note and I couldn't drive to help calm her down because I was out of town. I called about 20+ times trying to get a hold of her and then I had to call the police because I legitimately thought she was going to kill herself. (Turns out she had tried with pills and the cops found her vomiting.) Eventually, after about 8 months/break-ups we finally decided that we weren't gonna work out but we both still wanted to be friends because we knew each other's problems and really empathized and connected with the other. Honestly, the next month and a half got pretty complicated as we were still hooking up but pledged to not have emotions, so FwBs. I think she felt guilty about what we were doing, which was never my idea. We started arguing about every week. What I mean by arguing is she would think I was ignoring her (like when we were dating) and she would proceed to stop talking to me until I drove over to talk to her. Around Christmas time (had officially been broken up for a month), she had a heavy dose of depression and while on a skype call I watched her literally slit her throat, luckily not enough to cause permanent damage. I cannot handle that thought. I have nightmares about it sometimes and she blamed me for the whole thing about how I didn't care about her. Three weeks ago, she had another breakdown again because of me and she ended up doing drugs and a "bunch of guys" (she never told me what or who). We resolved that and talked through a little just trying to figure out what was going on. It turns out she still loved me (I wasn't very surprised but I did not know how to act because we did not work as a couple). Last week, she fucking shut me out again and I have had it. I told her that we couldn't even be friends and that it would be best to go our own way. I feel very responsible for this girl, having gone through a lot with her and I know she is having a really tough time but I can't keep crawling back to her to help validate her sense of self-worth. I am constantly worried that she is going to kill herself because of me and I do not have any communication with her right now. I have never shut someone out so completely as I have this depressed girl. I was helping her for a while (she didn't self-harm for the entire time we dated) but now I feel as though I have pushed this girl into the arms of multiple guys as well as drug use. I feel like a total dick shutting her out after our latest argument because I know that if she decides to kill herself I am at fault because I left.
TL;DR My ex-girlfriend and I were still close friends after breaking up but she keeps pushing me away and I can't deal with that anymore. Now I am worried that she might kill herself and it's my fault. | HISTORICAL | {
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LMIdMeM3R5rdEkQUvPzzthhQYKj9KVdA | b3v1yg | {
"description": "asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 187,
"contranormative_score": 545
} | AITA for asking my wedding guest to leave for wearing his military uniform at my wedding? | The son of one of my husband's family friends showed up to my wedding in his marines formal wear, complete with all his medals. Now, I have nothing against anyone in the military but this was a black tie optional wedding and frankly it felt very out of place and it seemed like he was just trying to show off. My wedding had over 300 guests and nobody else felt the need to wear something to make them stand out.
Up until the point that I asked him to leave, he of course was acting very well mannered and like a complete gentleman, as one might expect from a member of the armed forces, and there were even a few excited teenage girls at my wedding who wanted to take a picture with him, to which he graciously agreed. Many people were thanking him for his service, and frankly it just felt like the only reason he wore that was to be in the spotlight and make it about him, which I don't think you are supposed to do at someone else's wedding. If he wants to wear that to his own wedding then fine, but the whole point of having a dress code at a wedding is so that no one guest will stand out too much. I felt that he should have known this, since the whole point of uniforms in the military is so that you don't stand out from everyone else!
I felt kind of bad about asking him to leave, but it just didn't feel right for him to be there like that.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 476,
"OTHER": 179,
"EVERYBODY": 69,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 8
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 187,
"WRONG": 545
} | WRONG |
b8Vw3bnVG2488nWMxD9gnfP7mFbFG3OB | aqdm2t | {
"description": "telling my Muslim classmate she looked better without her hijab on",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 49
} | AITA for telling my Muslim classmate she looked better without her hijab on? | So there's a Muslim girl in one of my classes who wears a headscarf. We're not close but we say hi to each other and talk sometimes in class. I saw her in the bathroom fixing her hijab and she took it off to retie her hair. She had really pretty curly hair so I was like "I like your hair, it's pretty" and she was like "thanks" and then I said "yea you look better without your scarf on" and she kinda side eyed me and was like "alright" and the fixed her scarf and left the bathroom. I thought it was a weird reaction until I thought about it and figured that she probably misinterpreted what I said and thought I was telling her she shouldn't wear her hijab but I didn't mean that. I just meant to say her hair was nice and made her look pretty.
​
AITA in this situation? I don't think I was but I just need some perspective. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 49,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 49
} | WRONG |
9SAFjVfkASqEOrgTQ7aXwRwmj0QcYXJc | aptdrt | {
"description": "turning left into a parking lot in Front of a Stopped School Bus",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for turning Left into a Parking lot in Front of a Stopped School Bus? | I am well aware that when a school bus stops with its sign out, that you can't pass it. School children could be crossing the road to the left of the right of the bus.
This morning, I was returning home after dropping my son at day care. We were running a little late, and when we do, I see a bus as I leave, that takes some kindergartners from the pre-school, to the Elementary school.
Most mornings, the bus is blocking all exits out of the day care, so I just wait patiently (I'm in no hurry at this time of the morning).
The difference this morning, is the bus driver leaves plenty of room to pull into the next parking lot, which also has an acceptable exit to the main road.
So, myself, in no hurry, turn on on blinker, and start making the turn. The bus driver leans on his horn. I look at the driver, but he has no expression, not waving his arms to ridicule me, so for a bit, I thought maybe there was a car behind the bus that was honking. But, no.
AITA? Diagram below.
[https://imgur.com/a/M81Qcsb](https://imgur.com/a/M81Qcsb)
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
bayis5Dej7pTUo7WSwnfqtJJjXDOuOwV | axglk1 | {
"description": "despising everyone in my immediate family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for despising everyone in my immediate family? | Hello Reddit. I'll try to keep this brief. Edit: yeah nevermind... sorry...
​
Recently, I've had to take measures to prevent contact with my parents (they're both narcissists and I'm too young to move out) and sibling as much as possible. My dad has laid his hands on me, my mother has been screaming that I'm not perfect, and my sibling (the "Golden Child") is being a total bitch. Here's the story behind why I hate them all, individually:
​
My dad: He's the reason I'm hypersexual, gay, bullied at school, etc. At any moment, he could walk (well, technically barge) in and say something totally random, but always sexual. He'll say things like "Damn sex is cool," or other shit. He never taught me what was appropriate and what wasn't either, so I sometimes go too far without realizing it. I'm bullied pretty heavily at school because I have no boundaries, and I have no boundaries because my dad never put them up. He's also at the gym half the time, so yeah...
​
My mom: My mother wants her finger on every aspect of my life. My social media, search history, relationships, and even faith is under her careful watch. I'm athiest, but I can't tell her that; she'll flip out (because she lost control). She is a teacher at the school I go to, is friends with basically every local authority I could report this abuse to (they'll take her side of the story, she's extremely manipulative), and even tries to drive me and people she doesn't like apart. Recently, she's started filming me without my knowledge or permission listening to music. And she and my dad make fun of the videos. Luckily I know her phone password and I'll delete the videos tonight, but she's gone too far this time.
​
My sister (last one I promise): My sister is my parent's favorite child. She's always in the spotlight, always allowed to do whatever she wants (including hit me), etc. Her side of the story is always taken, and she's an entitled little brat. She'll steal things right out of my room and not return them (and of course my parents don't do a damn thing). She makes fun of me for being depressed. She gets whatever cake she wants on her birthday, I get plain vanilla with whipped icing. Every damn year. It sounds petty, I know, which is part of the reason I'm here. Is it? Or am I right?
​
So, Reddit, that's my family. And I hate (no, DESPISE) them for everything they've done and are doing.
​
So Am I the Asshole? Or am I justified for hating the three people that I call "family"? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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PXIE5Foa3Y17B5O1AhgTkmnALIelXsMs | b971jb | {
"description": "thinking kids should not have to bring their own entertainment to a sleepover",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for thinking kids should not have to bring their own entertainment to a sleepover? | My son got an invitation for a sleepover party which said bring your pajamas and your device. So, I know most kids have an ipad/tablet and so does my son but his is broken and it's not been replaced. I'm worried he'll be excluded from the activities but I'm also kind of annoyed that they're expected to provide their own entertainment. Whatever happened to movie/pizza/ghost stories or am I just old fashioned? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3LnXnl7dorEhIZwUh0lTvRu5l0s3FQrw | b4ig0s | null | AITA?? Husband gets $750 bonus, wants to keep to himself... | The Hubs is a car salesman. If he sells 2 more cars by end of next week he gets a $750 bonus. He says he’s keeping this as “play money.” AITA for thinking most of this should go in our account as extra income? Especially since we are in the process of moving and that’s EXPENSIVE? Maybe I’m just thinking this way because I could never imagine keeping that much for myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
13sa3Cb0pu7khJ84KfhbtJrv689XxvRR | b354b4 | {
"description": "having a gender preference in our selective abortion",
"pronormative_score": 229,
"contranormative_score": 59
} | AITA for having a gender preference in our selective abortion? | I'm 27f and my husband is 30. We tried for a few years to have baby, long story short, it didn't work out and we ended up going through a couple rounds of IVF.
Fast forward. We find out we're pregnant and we are super happy, like over the moon ecstatic. We couldn't wait for the 12 week mark to tell people, and started working on a nursery right away.
However, we go to our scan and find out we are having FOUR babies. Four. That's insane. I'm cutting a lot of backstory out because honestly, it's hard for me to talk about. At the time, my husband and I are just in shock, but happy we have healthy babies.
Now, I'm a small woman, 5'0 and very petite. At my next scan, it was suggested I consider aborting two of the pregnancies for the sake of my body, and to be honest, I was quietly considering bringing this idea up to my husband anyway because of the money involved with raising four children. We could afford two babies, but no way could we afford four.
Me and my husband are distraught that this is our reality, but we went home and tried to figure it out. From our latest scan, we know we have identical twin girls and two fraternal boys in there. If we go through with the selective abortion, which we most likely will, I brought up that I would like to keep the two girls as they are identical twins (I'm hoping they have the 'twin bond') and also, to be honest, I've always wanted girls.
My husband is on board with this, but as soon as I told my mother and sister the scenario they kicked off, calling us selfish, entitled, saying we are searching for designer babies, etc.
The way I see it is that we have to make a choice which babies go if we do this, and it breaks our hearts that we are in this position but we need to do what we can for the sake of our children. This story sounds so tragic, like a soap storyline or something but it's honestly the hardest thing I have ever done.
So, my question is both AITA for having a preference in this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 52,
"OTHER": 193,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 36,
"INFO": 14
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 229,
"WRONG": 59
} | RIGHT |
PBbfJCnE9kkPdorIIBJTCMsxmOYtXSxC | au68r9 | {
"description": "offering an Uber rise",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For offering an Uber rise? | On mobile so not sure how format will come out.
Today My(M28) gf(f25) and I were up all day driving around to different places. We were doing some diligences for a fund raiser for a humanitarian cause. So I was the one driving from place to place, picking up things to then dropping off, and then helping out at the warehouse where everything was being dropped off.
At the end, she asked to go to here sister’s house and I said sure(I had nothing to do there, but whatever, I don’t mind). At that point I had driven approximately 3 hours, and just wanted to be home, but we stayed there for around for a couple hours. Her two cousins showed up, and one of them left to go eat and took their car. When we were about to head out, my gf tells me we’re going to take her cousin and gives me an address that’s 20 minutes from her sister’s house, and around 25 more minutes from/back to our apartment. I say no, that i’m Tired, and If anything, I rather just pay an Uber for her.
My gf flipped, said I was an asshole, telling me that was unbelievable, that if a cousin of mine ever needed a ride she wouldn’t hesitate to take them(I don’t even have family in the state, so it was purely hypothetical statement), that I was being egotistical, etc. (let me make it clear, i’ve Given her cousin rides before, and have offered in different occasions where she needed but didn’t ask. Today I just didn’t want to drive somewhere that wasn’t along the way to the house, plus I offered to pay an Uber, which she found unacceptable.
I honestly don’t see what’s wrong offering to pay someone’s Uber if I personally don’t feel like driving. So, Reddit, am I the asshole?
Tl;dr : was driving a lot today, before going home, gf tells me to give her cousin a ride home, but I say no due to it being in the opposite direction and i offer to pay an Uber. I get called an asshole. Am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
GSbwTSYEuh5qwLQNidRR5jGZVmnpNAtS | b68s23 | {
"description": "asking my gay little brother not to bring home guys to the apartment while he is living with me",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for asking my gay little brother not to bring home guys to the apartment while he is living with me? | “Ryan” is 15 and came out to our homophobic parents about four months ago. They promptly kicked him out of the house and he had to come live with me. I’ve also lost contact with my parents because of this.
For the most part living with him has been fine. He picks up after himself (mostly) and still goes to school and works to help me out with bills.
One thing however, is that lately he has been seeing this boy and bringing him over to the apartment to have sex (I have a spare bedroom).
I don’t care if he’s having sex or who it’s with, and I mean I really could not care less I can’t emphasize that enough, but it is making me so uncomfortable in my own place. I can hear them at night, and when I get home. I’m losing sleep because it makes me so awkward and uncomfortable. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
This kid is also hanging out at my place a lot more than I would like. I suspect he doesn’t have a very good home life.
I really want to tell Ryan to maybe cool it down because after all it is my place but I also get that maybe they don’t have anywhere else “safe” to go beside my house. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable and I don’t want to seem like a huge asshole if I ask him not to do it at my place anymore because he does help with some of the bills. But again, it’s kind of making me go crazy always having this kid over and hearing them.
So, WIBTA for asking him not to bring guys over anymore? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
4Fqo8HIMn7T0vWdbVjBYN8zMv629iXha | andiyu | {
"description": "stopping taking care of my Brothers Dog",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I stop taking care of my Brothers Dog | My bother randomly comes home with a puppy (pit bull) and I automatically I know he is going to dump the responsibility on me, my sister and my mother
He almost never comes home only to sleep then leaves
So he leaves the puppy alone for most of the day.
And if I tell him that “I am not going to take care of it” he will say “then don’t” knowing full well that I will give up and take care of it (It’s so painful hearing it cry) like Emotional Blackmail
So will be an AH if I actually stop taking care of it completely?
In total I take care of it 95% and he just comes home and dose the 5% which is basically nothing just bed time
I am so stressed out 😤
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
hi4lrz4Ux79aWZ6eGdfP60unFnS3t4YW | b3524i | {
"description": "not returning to my job next school year",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not returning to my job next school year? | I’m feeling kinda guilty about this, but I’d started a job as a paraprofessional at a middle school. At first it was really great and I really love the teacher I work with. She’s a really nice woman with a big heart. The kids I work with have their issues (they’re preteens and teens, so...) But overall not bad kids.
But things they do make me not feel welcomed at all. They roll their eyes at the idea of working in my group and pout when I’m the one who chaperones recess. I like to think I’m nice yet stern and friendly, but I guess not.
I worked temporarily at the school and actually took a bit of a pay cut to become a permanent staff member. I also just came from my last job where I worked with toddlers who loved me a lot. I got along great my coworkers who actually took me out to dinner on my last night there and bought me gifts. I always had a hard time fitting in, so it meant a lot to me. Then to come to work at a job where I don’t really feel welcomed makes me dislike my job a little bit.
The teacher always talks about a high turn over rate of paraprofessionals in her class and that the kids are worried that every paraprofessional who comes in will quit...but they treat me like they want me to leave.
WIBTA if I didn’t return next year? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
haywjh4DUnrvwrOJfqlEzcXx3lkghz15 | ba5bdl | {
"description": "saying that the fact Ainu people don't look japanesse despite indeed being japanese, is \"funny\"",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for saying that the fact Ainu people don't look japanesse despite indeed being japanese, is "funny"? | I was talking with my friends and I told them about the Ainu people. The short version is that there were 2 migrations waves that populated Japan several thousands years apart. The second wave was formed by what we think as "japanese people" today, while the first was the Ainu people who now live mostly in the north of Japan.
I then told them that some Ainu people look quite different from the rest of the japanese people, look [at this young man for example](https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-ainu-people-in-japan-147355150.html). I said they look "like indian people but with slanted eyes".
Finally I said "it's funny, you wouldn't expect the 'original japanese' to look like that". At this comment one of my friends got really mad at me, saying that I couldn't make fun of how people look like. I agreed, but tried to explain that I wasn't making fun of them, rather I said "funny" in the sense of "unexpected" or "surprising".
He then argued that it was still wrong. That I should be more open, that I shouldn't asume. I tried to argue that it was indeed surprising and it wasn't wrong to say so, but he wouldn't have it, arguing that I should have at least phrased it some other way.
They all agreed that I was being very insensitive and made me feel like shit. Anthropology is like a hobby to me, and when I find out things like this I want to share them, but I don't want people thinking I don't respect other people and makes me don't want to talk with people about this sort of things. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
vWlUhOk97tR1cJuomPeMW2Dub3P1C5f4 | ani00b | {
"description": "distancing myself from a good friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for distancing myself from a good friend? | This is a throwaway because some people know my account.
Here’s the context. I got introduced to a friend, let’s call him A, from a close friend of mine and for a while, all the three of us did was play games and call on discord for a long time. But after a while, A started to call and talk to me outside of the normal groups and got closer to me, which prompted me to start to be a little more open.
At this point, I talked to A every day despite my wish to talk to other friends more. Then, A started telling me about how bad their life is and how much of a useless person they are.
The mental state I was in was not optimal to be dealing with this, so I averted and tried to make them happier without stressing myself out. Eventually it got out of hand and A was doing really bad, and I couldn’t even help them at first. One night I had to stay with them for hours to talk them out of something and it was clear that A was becoming slightly obsessed with me. Don’t think I’m just being a narcissist- A’s friends noticed his unusual behaviors as well.
It eventually got to the point where A tried to drive a wedge between my SO and I. A started saying a lot of weird cryptic things and was in such a bad place that I couldn’t take it. At that point, he had messed with my head and my SO’s some and I went to our mutual friend to sort things out and he recommended I talk to A, which I did later on that night.
A then days later cut themselves off from me completely after trying but failing to make me guilty. Later I found out from the mutual friend that A’s life wasn’t nearly as bad as it was cut out to be.
I still feel like an asshole for turning someone in a very shitty mental state away like that, because I know how it feels. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qakTfFVxMuFcwEkRh1IocjMKv7RanpOP | a1odif | {
"description": "finding a loophole in a stores promotion to get free coffee",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA for finding a loophole in a stores promotion to get free coffee | A local gas station is doing a promotion where you get free coffee with any purchase of gas. So I buy 1 dollar in gas get my free coffee then cancel the gas sale at the pump. I was told by two people it was a shitty thing to do and way to much effort to save a $1.80. Thing is though, I love coffee and hate paying for it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 23
} | WRONG |
9lLqfwXNCW6WtgIWqzBcf7pCxoLJas2f | ba221m | {
"description": "wanting a famous person to help me get sober",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for wanting a famous person to help me get sober? | So the tl;dr of my backstory is that I was sober for 18 months but chose to drink again in October. Since then I've been struggling to get sober again. I had a falling out with my old sponsor that makes us unable to reconnect. I've been unable to stay sober since but I feel like if I reach out to a certain person, he'd be able to help me. Thing is, hes a reasonably famous musician here and I don't want him to feel like I'm imposing myself on him. He's been dealing with groupies for years and I'm scared he'll see me as yet another loser who wants to latch onto him. But I honestly relate to him and feel like I'd have a good chance of staying sober if I work with him. Am I the asshole if I pick him? I'm not doing so because he's famous, but I feel like this is the manipulative side of me. Help? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
jVhO2tGU1jfiWksKVGiaIbpfNPApAMry | b7te3v | {
"description": "telling a kid to stop playing in my front yard",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling a kid to stop playing in my front yard? | This literally just happened 20 minutes ago and I've been sitting wondering if I just came across as an ass to this 13 year old neighbor.
I was sitting on my couch when I heard a bang. Through the window, beside the front door, I saw a kid come onto our porch and retrieve a baseball. I didn't think much of it and figured it must've just been a bad throw. However two minutes later, it happened again. I initially got up to just tell the kid to be a bit more careful, but when I looked outside he was playing catch in our yard. And was having his friend/sibling/whatever throw to him. I honestly just felt like it was rude. I mean, he was probably a good 10-15 feet from my front door and in the past 5 minutes had managed to hit the ball against our house twice. What if I knocked out a window? So I made a comment of "are you playing in our yard?" with a rather annoyed tone of voice. To which he replied, "oh... sorry..." and walked back to his yard.
Was I the asshole? Should I have just let the kid enjoy playing and not be like that grumpy, old man who yells at kids for stepping into his yard? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Ps2230vuKpy4LhVOBW5GwutfOU5EgaYn | akthfy | {
"description": "asking for a refund on a phone that was claimed to be unlocked",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For asking for a refund on a phone that was claimed to be unlocked? | Hi, So I purchased an overpriced iPhone off of mercari. After getting it home and spending hours on getting it set up it does not work with my sim card, despite being listed as unlocked.
I contact the seller and tell her it is not unlocked so she contacts her cellphone company to request an unlock. A few days later she sends me the steps to get it unlocked. After doing all this work it says once again, my sim card is not supported.
So, I tell her this and she tells me to contact her husband, ON FACEBOOK. and have him walk me through the steps. But I did all the steps and it still did not work.
AITA for asking her to take the cellphone back as I am finding this to be too much of a hassle for a phone I do not want at this point? I just don't see it being worth it anymore. I had asked her a few days ago if I could get a refund and she told me to be patient and that she really needs the money. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DNqESiWC8HVAj2CGR1nixKuxKLftOE2H | a1ipks | {
"description": "dating my ex's friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA I am dating my ex’s friend | I, a 22 year old female, am in a relationship with SO, 22 year old male, and the EX is a 24 year old male.
I got to know know both of these guys at the same time, they were in the same group of friends. Initially, I hooked up with SO, but it was only a party-thing, and we remained friends. After a few months, I started dating EX, and a few months later, we moved in together. I knew that SO had a crush on me before I started dating EX, but I thought it had passed, at least when I was living with his friend.
I broke up with EX after being living with him for nine months, for several reasons. He would not do ANY chores, even though he didn’t have a job, and didn’t attend his classes. I worked and went to uni, and still had to make dinner for us, do the laundry and clean the house. He was very jealous, for small things like me coming home from work 15 minutes later than usual, or going to the gym. He had a very negative attitude to everyone I cared about, he wouldn’t make time for me, he wouldn’t see my family, and he would mostly just play video games.
I was fairly certain that he was depressed, but no matter what I did, he wouldn’t get help. Eventually I got so drained that I had to leave him to be able to take care of myself.
I was very happy with my decision to go, although I was concerned for his well-being.
Anyways, about two months after I moved out, I had a party. SO was invited, and we ended up having sex. We both felt a little bad for my EX, but considering I didn’t want a relationship, I didn’t think too much of it. I then found out that he had feeling for me the entire time I was with my EX, and I started catching feelings for him pretty quickly too.
We kept the relationship quite secret until the semester was over, as SO and EX study at the same campus. When it was announced, I was quite nervous to see if EX would contact me, and I was very unsure if I should tell him about the relationship or not. I ended up not doing that, and neither did SO, and EX never contacted me.
SO and EX gradually lost their friendship during the time I was in a relationship with EX, as he was really jealous because he knew that we had made out before, so he didn’t want anything to do with SO, so technically, they weren’t friends anymore.
So, am I the asshole for dating my ex’s friend? Am I the asshole for not telling my ex?
Fun fact: Last week, it was announced on Facebook that EX is in a new relationship. With his other friends ex. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
q4o068D68yZYSFhuL5RG3Xmyn5FWBTEZ | adfkho | {
"description": "making a girl cry by saying I don't like her",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a girl cry by saying I don’t like her | So this happened in high school when I was in 11th Grade. There was this girl who was magically interested in everything I was and really shy around me. My stupid ass didn’t realise she had a massive crush on me.
I always thought of her as a very shy girl and when everyone said she was super outgoing I was like “are we talking about the same person?!”
Eventually I had to be told that she was interested in me this was months after I first found out about her acting differently.
This made things slightly awkward between us as by this time we were going in similar social circles. I was then egged on by others that I should do something about this since I knew and that she was perfect for me. I was not interested in her whatsoever. She was 2 grades below me for starters and there was no attraction.
Now here is where I made her cry. I decided I did not want to lead her on so I made an arrangement for us to meet after school and I said to her face that I was not interested in her romantically. She cried and went off, I think to this day I did the best thing as I did not want to lead her on; but everyone called me the asshole and I lost some friends because of this. I feel bad for making her cry and later on found out I was her first “hard crush” which makes me feel a bit worse but overall my thoughts were this was for the best and I wasn’t being an asshole.
What do you random internet people think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ffz7d9WcmuO9IRGk7PMewn80mDN8wARH | b2u57k | {
"description": "making my brother sleep at a bus stop",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making my brother sleep at a bus stop. | so this happend last week and we are still dealing with the fallout.
I've decided to make a fake account just incase he finds this so he does not know my actual account.
I'm on my phone so sorry for shit
let's call my bother tim
I dropped tim off at his friends apartment at 8 in the morning and was ment to pick him up at 3 the next day.
at 1 in the morning I get a call from my older sister who is a absolute mess, I ask what happened and she said that Tim called her and our mum asking for nudes and when she said no he called her a bitch and hung up.
I immediately call him and try and figure out the situation, he is definitely drunk and lied to me about it, saying that he wanted the nudes for his friend. I did not believe that.
I told him I was not picking him up tomorrow as I did not want to see him, he then gets mad and says it's the only way he can get home, so I tell him to go fuck himself and hang up.
I found out he slept on a bus stop. some friends are saying I was shitty.
and I'm now looking at rehab clinics for this issue.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
W3c3hVHDacy38ZT7FdTgOyGNxOIksx38 | b16vvu | {
"description": "not liking spaghetti",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not liking spaghetti (Not a troll) | So long story short; like... so short I might skip details, I'm 20 and living with my family. I've constantly asked for help from friends and family to get me to the DMV so I can get a license and be able to be my own reliable ride to a job (so I don't lose it due to people not being able to take me). This has been going on since October when my last chance to get a job was ruined when my only reliable ride lost their license. So... I'm stuck at home, broke, against my will (taxis aren't an option here). My family is horrible with spending money; every time we get a chunk we spend it on something dumb. For example; we got taxes and ate at the same Italian Restaurant 8 times in two weeks. It's about $15 dollars per person, and it's a five person household. We spend it on all this dumb shit; then we're broke and "have to have" the same meals over and over again to the point where I literally get sick of them due to the taste. I'm not even particularly picky, the list of meals I full on won't eat is spaghetti or pork chops.
The reason I don't like these don't even start when I was young. I don't know if it's my aspergers or something else, but if I eat the same food too many times in a short period of time it's literally ruined for me forever. And my family are the kind of people to constantly have the same meal. Burgers once or twice a week, porkchops like 6 times a month, spaghetti three or four times a month. I know it sounds like I'm being really petty, but the fact the excuse for it is "because we're broke and this is what we can afford" is total BS. I've offered to cook recipes for dinner with ingredients we already have, I've offered to help budget, I've offered to help shop for new recipe ingredients when we have the extra money, and I've offered to keep track of cheap and easy meals everyone likes so we have variety. I'm constantly offering solutions, and my mom still gets upset at me when I let out a sigh of disappoint (usually unintentional) whenever I see dinner. She gets upset for the rest of the afternoon; and I feel guilty for something I've offered to fix. Am I the asshole for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
KRaKXbTI6bLeCwJXHGV5cVS3PBNZUKvu | a747ni | {
"description": "demanding my brothers to spend NYE with our dad and I",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for demanding my brothers to spend NYE with our dad and I? | I get it, Christmas Eve is for family, New Year Eve for friends. But, that’s quite different in our case.
My brothers (26M and 29M, let’s say, respectively Jack and John) and I (24F) are living in a different country from our parents. We are 12000 km away from our hometown. We’re located in Europe now and our parents are living on a tiny island, lost somewhere in the Indian Ocean.
We don’t go home often because the plane ticket is quite expensive and the fly is very long (11-12h or so).
You gotta know that, at home, we would have very big family gathering (30-40 people) for Christmas Eve and NYE. They’re so much fun because everyone’s here feeling and sharing the Christmas Spirit.
This year, John moved out from home after a few years of struggling with health issues, forcing him to quit his studies and stay home for a while. He finally got back on his feet and found a job where Jack and I live. I’m very happy for him because he made some friends, starting to take care of himself, got into a nice and healthy routine.
John and I have been abroad from a while now, 4 or 5 years. We first moved out because of our studies and after we graduate, we naturally found a job here. We are now used to the distance. We may have got back home twice and we see our parents once once a year.
Now, our parents are very worried for all of us. Parents will be parents. They just wish the best for us and wish we could spend more time together. So our dad booked a plane ticket for the holidays. Our mom couldn’t come along for financial reasons. The plan was then to spend Christmas Eve and NYE together and our dad would go back home right after the first of January.
But... a few days ago, long after the booking, Jack and John informed us they will spend NYE with their respective friends. John wants to spend his very first NYE with friends instead of family like we used to do back home. Jack planned to spend the evening with his girlfriend.
I mean, I get it. I also had plans, but our dad being here, it’s only natural to be with him. He didn’t come all this way to spend the 31st if December alone, did he?
They literally could have told my parents about their plans before they book the ticket, so at least my dad would have spent the holiday with everyone else at home and actually have fun.
Now, I decided to cancel my plans and stick with my dad for the NYE. We will be two. I don’t know what we’re gonna do but I’m not feeling the holidays spirit that much now I’m mad at my brothers. They told me I should quit my bullshit and that I’m making them feel guilty for wanting to enjoy themselves.
AITM for demanding my brothers to spend NYE with our dad and I? | HISTORICAL | {
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EXzfwHDcXlCuIcmtovnH4mkfU92kznvb | ahkaqj | {
"description": "not giving beggars kids my chips",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving beggars kids my chips? | My grammar is not the best so I apologize.
So today I was going back home after school with my 4 friends, and I bought bag of chips and friend also bought one , so we opened his while we were going, a group of maybe 5-7 year old beggar kids asked my friend for his pack he didn't give them at first but after he saw that there was not much left, he gave them that but my pack was not open,so I refused and then I thought I will open and give some to them. When I am about to open it one of them grabs the packet and runs away and I get my pack back, but since they grabbed without permission I didn't give them a piece.Now my friends are now 2 of my friends are shitting on me for not giving them the pack I told them I would have given them some part if they hadn't stolen it.
Am I the asshole for doing this? | HISTORICAL | {
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77RUP0GbKpAJ1aBvccxXMa9Jyb4VM9na | asry74 | {
"description": "not talking to an old friend for a while",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not talking to an old friend for a while | As the title says. A friend from high school who we were pretty good friends throughout. He had in the last year and a few years after that seemed to get pretty bad depression and after constantly reaching out to hang out and stuff, I just got tired of always initiating. I have decided that I will not reach out anymore to him, as he does have parents and the like, untill he makes some effort to reach back out to me. My parents think I'm the asshole for not being there for him but the way I see it, everyone is responsible for their own mental health. If he does ever reach out I will for sure be there for him, I just don't want to be the one always reaching out. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
vq3V41Cm92ysATf2DEMbbbdsRJb240xJ | b0ozzg | {
"description": "breaking up with my bf and not telling him I was doubting our relationship",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking up with my bf and not telling him I was doubting our relationship | About a month ago I broke up with my first bf who I had only been dating for a month. The main reason was, that it all was moving way to fast for me and he expected our relationship to last for at least 2years without us getting to know each other first. Furthermore he was making jokes going like :"You're beautiful but not very smart, are you?" This made me feel as if he wasn't interested in my character at all. He didn't respect decisions I made either. But don't get me wrong, he could be very sweet and caring, but I just didn't feel comfortable around him.
After I've been thinking about ending things for about a week, I finally talked to him. I broke up with him after school(we're in the same grade) As a reason for our break up I stated, that I didn't really feel comfortable around him, which was true but I didn't say anything about the other reasons to not make him feel even more insecure than he already is. At first he was all like:"Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. Bye" Later he texted me, that i had been lying to him and that I played with his feelings because didn't tell him earlier. But I simply needed some time to figure everything out. Later he callmed down and apologized. Still he continued to make passive agressive statements towards me.
Now I'm feeling like the asshole because I'm reminded of all that happened between us every day when I see him in the hallway. But this isn't it... I think I might be falling for his best friend, who is also in my grade but whom I've known for over 2 years. We are friends and I would never act on my feelings since I am rather shy and I wouldn't want to hurt my ex twice, but AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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OVn2Y6H4M1boVpvbFGcMaRrjPDvbqvQ5 | abpse0 | {
"description": "wanting to end an 8 year friendship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to end an 8 year friendship? | I have been best friends with this guy since the start of high school. We shared everything together, he was like family. Two years ago I loaned him $1500 so he could buy his first car and get on his feet. He told me he would pay me slowly every month and have it paid off withing 8 months as he is starting a high paying job in a trade. I kept reassuring him to take his time and that I trust him because I understand it takes time to start making money.
5 months later, yet to repay me anything, he has 2 credit cards maxed out and takes out a $10,000 loan with the intention of clearing his credit card debt, paying me back and buying a $6000 motorcycle. He did all but pay me a dime. Fast forward a year later to this past summer, I openly share how I feel about this and how I feel like he is using me but he reassures me he is going to pay me back soon.
Last week, he calls me up. He says "come outside I have something to show you" I see him standing in front of a 2016 challenger that he just bought. He told me he put 1/3 down on the car and is paying it off over 2 years. Then he transfers me 300 and says I had the rest but I had to use it on something.
My so called "best friend" took advantage of my generosity. I think the friendship is over. In all honesty, all I want to do is tell him to f**k himself and leave. It is not about the money, it's about the respect.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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7DB5FdbVnl3bHsGxvaov4xxiqiJrm3nv | ac6erp | {
"description": "being the political outcast",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being the political outcast? | Throwaway account. First Reddit post. Obligitory "be gentle" and all that jazz.
I have a group of friends that I've been associating with for around 5 years now. We get together on a semi-weekly basis to play tabletop RPGs and, until recently, I had no reason to suspect that I had any problem with the group.
There's no question that I'm the political outlier in the group. I'm conservative, while the majority of the group is liberal or centrist (or just apolitical entirely). I never thought anything of it, because I love every single one of them regardless of how much we disagree. I'm always open to discussion, and in fact, I encourage discussion on topics we disagree about, because I like to test the validity of my beliefs. If I can't defend something logically, it's a red flag to me that I need to rethink it.
Recently, two of my better friends in the group invited me to dinner to discuss some concerns that they'd been hearing about me. To summarize the conversation, some of the members of the group now think that my beliefs are so much at odds with theirs that conflict is inevitable, and certain assumptions have been made about my character that have absolutely no merit to them.
For example, it came up that my limited support for our current president implies that I'm anti-immigration, which is a concern to the young lady whose parents are immigrants. That's just false. I'm currently researching the immigrant link in my own family tree. I've also been told that I'm suspected to be homophobic, and anti-LGBT rights, but I'm pretty openly bisexual, and I've supported advances in gay rights in the past. These are not difficult revelations to stumble across if you just spend a few minutes seriously getting to know me.
I'm bewildered by this current situation. I've now found out that they scheduled sessions for a game that we'd prevously played together without telling me. I'm being ostracized because of my politics and by incorrect assumptions that stem from them. And more importantly, the two that finally brought this to my attention should know me better than that, and should have easily dispelled the assumptions as nonsense. Am I the asshole for thinking that this is all childish and petty?
TL;DR: I'm a political outcast in my group of friends, and I am now being ostracized because of false assumptions and potential conflict. | HISTORICAL | {
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v8hcHBcvJpE0yq1zh5ipPDimQ88o0zwq | a5n1ai | {
"description": "arguing with my fiance about using my car",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for arguing with my fiance about using my car? | Our house has a bunch of people in it, 5 with jobs, but everybody's car seems to have stopped working. Because of this for the last month my car has been the only form of transportation for everyone. For the last week my car has been making sounds when I turn it and I was told that it was just low on power steering fluid so I went out and I bought more.
I had been trying to make the guys fill it up since but they all refused because they "were lazy." And I'm not going to do it because I know 0 things about cars.
Yesterday my wheel became impossible to turn so I told everybody that my car will not go anywhere without it getting refilled. They checked it that day and it was discovered that it wasn't empty, it had motor oil in it. I've been driving a car with motor oil where my power steering fluid goes. They told me we had all the stuff to fix it and that they would fix it the next day. I said alright that's fine. And that they should pick me up at 4:30.
Fast forward to today. I called just before 4 so I could see if it was all good. Heres a summary of our conversation. Me (M) my fiance (f)
M- hey honey how the car doing
F- we can't find the pliers so we can't fix it
M- ok I will find a ride home, make sure nobody uses the car
F- I can still get you
M- no do not use the car, i do not feel safe doing that
F- but it will be me driving
M- idc don't use the car
F- but it's fine
M- no don't use the car
F- it's been like this for 8+ months and no problems
M- and? We are lucky the car still works. Don't use it
F- it's fine
M- no seriously don't use it
F- other people need to get to work too
M- and I need to still have a car
F- nothing's going to happen it's fine
M- (I did yell this part) Do not use the fucking car. It is my car and I will decide if it is fine to use. I say it is not therefore it will not be used. I'm not fighting with you on this
F-fix your own damn car then
I did yell at him but it feels pretty common sense to me. Idk guys | HISTORICAL | {
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vukqn1hx19rFDT1HjgMSE9CSNnZOLZbF | b42lyd | {
"description": "paying to get my part of the chores done",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for paying to get my part of the chores done? | Backround ist this:
My wife works in another city and we only see each other from Friday evening to Monday mornings. We are working on changing this and it is not meant to be permanent.
We have a nice Apartment in the city I work at because that's where we are both from, have our parents and friends at.
As most couples do, we split the normal chores betwen us, but because she is'nt here for the most part of the week most of it falls into my part. Only thing she does is the laundry and only because she brings her clothes with her on the weekends and we do all of them here together, plus I normally help her with it.
But here is the thing, I work a minimum of 40 hours a week and I enjoy doing a bit of sport and seeing friends(I do this on weekdays as it doesn't cut into the time I have with my wife). This made me realize quickly that it's not working out and I had to give something up to keep our home clean and nice. And I didn't want to.
As I make enough money I looked into cleaning services and what that would cost me. I found a company that seemd reasonable and talked it over with my wife. She wasn't happy about it at first because she didn't like someone being in our home without us being there and I totaly get that. So we compromised and I made an arrangement with the cleaning company that we would have always the same person come over and for the first few months they would only clean while someone is at home. They were fine with it and of we went. After about 7 months of the same Lady cleaning our home my wife was fine with giving her a key and come in when noone was there.
I also am the one paying for this completely out of my own pocket.
Backround done.
I recently had 2 friends over for a drink after work and to chat. One brought his girlfriend with him (who he is with for close to 3 years now and I know for nearly the same amount of time and am cool with her), who was in our Apartment for the first time, so I showed her around a bit. She made the comment that it must be a bitch to keep clean for my wife with her being away all week and so on. I responded that it was my duty to clean and that I had simply gotten a cleaning service as I would like my time after work to be spend on more pleasurable things as cleaning.
That sparked a discussion that went on for 2 hours about me ripping my wife of because I now "do nothing" aournd the house. And even though I know my wife thinks it's fine I myself am now not sure if I am a bad husband and could change something for the sake of my wife.
So, fire away.
| HISTORICAL | {
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wZVakPYK2zU1cQAcLgjs3nNmXLpn4Vho | azpz04 | {
"description": "telling my friend to go to rehab if he still wants to be my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For telling my friend to go to rehab if he still wants to be my friend | One of my best friends I have known since 7th grade(we are 20 now) is going down a path of drugs. I don’t blow up often but I did yesterday on him after he was a total dick to someone else. Long story short he said drugs help him not be here irl because he’s had such a hard life even though most of his problems are his doing. I just told him if he ever wants to be my friend again he has to go to rehab and be sober. Am I wrong for this I’m really hurt about this. | HISTORICAL | {
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c8xyv40V1QqffCOCamVjEC6j5KvDYt5w | auw2ma | {
"description": "refusing to buy my roommate a new bowl",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing to buy my roommate a new bowl? | I have two roommates, and we live in a college dorm. One of my roommates I get along really well with, we are pretty laid back people who like to share the room with each other rather than making it feel divided. Our third roommate isn't like that, he likes to use our space but likes us to know that his is his.
He left me very little space in the room. Well, because of the lack of space I have, it's hard for me to find space for everything that I have. For this reason, I set a stack of papers and notebooks on top of my PC, which I need but have nowhere else to put. They're not in a precarious position either.
Today, I came back from an exam, and set my backpack down, before turning around to leave the room. As I'm walking towards the door. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash, and turned around to see my notebooks on the floor, as well as my roommates shattered bowl. He likes to leave his dirty dishes right next to my desk, on the edge of the fridge.
He demanded that I buy him a new one, I just kind of ignored it, not agreeing or disagreeing, because I could tell he was on one of his frequent power trips. He likes to bully me a lot. Later he brought it up again, with my other roommate in the room. He explained what happened to the other roommate and the other roommate said I don't owe him anything, That it was just a freak accident. This made the first roommate mad, saying that I was negligent and owed him. He's taking a Business Law class, and now thinks he's a legal expert.
As a side note, one night earlier this semester we got drunk, and when I was looking after one friend getting food, this same roommate went through my drawers and ate my snacks, and went through my fridge and drank my beers. He told me it wasn't his fault, he was drunk and I should've been watching my stuff. I didn't make him pay me and let it slide as a mistake.
I said I don't think I owe him. He told me that he's always known the papers were going to fall and break something of his, so I should've too. I asked why he'd put breakable objects in a place where he knew they'd get broken then. He called me a liar and an asshole. Among other things.
Tl;dr My bullying roommate is holding me accountable for a stack of notebooks on my desk falling and breaking his bowl.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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9mIdWNSfGMQfNU88Ec9Ld07tgfB2b7xM | ac3ca5 | {
"description": "being an asshole ... but in a game where being an asshole is a valid strategy",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA ... for being an asshole ... but in a game where being an asshole is a valid strategy | So the game is called [Mafia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mafia_(party_game)), or Werewolf. *[--skip down if you know what mafia is--]* In short it is where a group of people are split into innocents (also called towns) and mafia (also called scum) members. The innocents do not know each other's affiliations, but the mafia members do. There are 2 alternating phases, day and night. During the day all players vote to eliminate a player; during the night the mafiosos choose to eliminate a player. Last faction standing wins. Roles may be added for variety. Some of you may know of off-shoots such as TownOfSalem.
There's a saying that playing Diplomacy (or Monopoly or some other game) is the fastest way to lose friends. I think mafia gives diplomacy a run for its money.
In the purest form of the game, it is a game of deception and psychological analysis. For example, in a live game, you can ask someone "are you mafia?" While this seems like a stupid question to ask because everyone would answer "no," the best players can deduce the affiliation of the responder based on their behavior when answering. When a player makes a judgement of another players affiliation it's called a "read." Seasoned players may have their own play styles, called their "meta."
[----] In this case the game is being played online forum-style semi-anonymously; at the point of the incident I've played several games of mafia on the forum. I've cultivated a meta of brashness/assholery (which is counter to my behavior when I'm just talking with people normally); I'll admit though that sometimes I enjoy ripping apart someone whose read logic I simply disagree with completely. On this particular forum most of my interactions with other people is in playing mafia. I don't want to link to the game to protect my anonymity.
My ass-level could range from saying things to the effect of:
>"all your reads are such trash I'd be surprised if a single one of them is correct"
to
>"are you being pimped out by [player]?"
([Hooker](https://wiki.mafiascum.net/index.php?title=Hooker) is a role in the game, the implication being the subject and [player] are both scum and [player] is [bussing](https://wiki.mafiascum.net/index.php?title=Bussing) the subject), to the worst offender
>"lmao are you fucking retarded"
The specific case that triggered an out of game response was in this one game where I was ripping apart a new-ish player. I say new-ish because he's played several games on that forum as well, but that forum was his first time playing. He also sounded kind of young, maybe high/junior-high? I latched on to him early in the game because new-ish players are easier to read because they tend to give off "noob tells."
I don't recall the exact scenario. But I think I was pretty aggressively accusing him of being scum with exactly 0 evidence. He got defensive. I couldn't get a good read on him but I didn't back off.
He gave some reads that I disagreed with. I immediately called him out on it, and I believe I said something to the effect of "you're either a moron or you're scum."
I went on to call him a bad player when his reads were proven wrong a a flip (affiliation reveal when a player dies). I even dug up his old games to show that his read accuracy was lower than random guesses, and encouraged other players to "inverse" him. At this point I had a light town read on him, but I was still disproportionately targeting him.
I pushed him around for a few day phases before he went off on me. He said I was kind of an asshole. My internal reaction was "yeah that's how the game is played." To my surprise several other players agreed with him. Some said if they see me in game line up they'd avoid joining. All these players are new-ish players of varying skill.
I explained that's just the way I choose to play the game, I'm not like that in other parts of the internet to no effect.
This escalated out of game. On an unrelated thread my original subject called me an asshole in 3rd person to another player. I interjected saying that outside of game communication is forbidden. The other player agreed with the first player that I am an asshole.
They never actually called me asshole. The words they used were more to the effect of "douchebag" and "arrogant."
I am technically an asshole, I said that in the title. But the question is, am I really really an asshole and should dial it back in game, or are some of these players just taking the game too personally, or am I the one taking the game too seriously?
[----]
I'm putting this part at the end cause it's less related. The fact is the aggressive play style works. I've used it to great affect in previous games. I've seen other players use to to good effect. It has been used on me, with multiple players getting a correct town read on me; the particular case it was used on me was IMO more assholey than anything I've done, the player was using all manner of gay rape language on me. The asshole meta is neither common or uncommon. For a given game, one could expect 0, 1, or 2 asshole-like meta players most of the time.
I also try avoiding being an ass and use a different meta in pure noob games, because I have a line and I don't want to scare noobs away. I don't go off on someone unless they're in a "big boy" game.
The more seasoned players did not get themselves involved in the drama. I've played on other forums with some of the same players, at least one has said they respect me as a player.
I've cultivated the asshole meta mostly because I believe it's effective. But I think it's also because I do have some repressed assholery inside of me for real, or else I wouldn't be able to pull the style off so naturally and convincingly in game.
| HISTORICAL | {
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gBtSxyucUSOtH9Az5etNU8s0YWgcml24 | arpub8 | {
"description": "loving a married woman",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for loving a married woman? | Well more like we love each other. I’ve been having a relationship with her and she is married but I am not. We are middle eastern, she can’t/won’t get a divorce because of her kids.
She’s never forgiven her husband for cheating (he has a kid with another woman) and has said he is abusive.
She is depressed and hates her life, and says me and her kids are the only things that she looks forward too.
Arranged marriage she had.
My feelings for her are strong and real. I just don’t think I can keep going on with her.
| HISTORICAL | {
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xtyAwvt4szuWyw57JEN2WKmBSz2ZToEN | ahnnh5 | null | AITA told a hook-up that the only asset she had going for me was her ass | Back Story:
last year I went through a rough patch after breaking up with my ex of two years. I hadn't been with anyone since the break up and a friend organized an outing to a bar with a decent sized group, a month or so after the break up. I have literally only spoken to X girl once, in the beginning of uni when she needed to borrow a calculator.
Back Story; At the bar
So she is there among others and somehow we ended up talking and we hit it off well and are flirting and just talking but in my mind I don't find her attractive or appealing and do not want to do anything sexual with her. Just the rush of flirting and seeing if I can still flirt with a girl. End of the night comes and it turns out she lives close to where a buddy and me live so we all cab back home together (pretty tipsy). My buddy fell asleep and me and X are just talking in the back. She invites me to watch Netflix at her place. (Actually thought we were just gonna watch Netflix) Shit happens it gets weird and I get grossed out and stop what is happening and leave. Figured that it was just me coming out of a long term relationship and it felt weird being with someone else and hooking up won't let me get over my ex. Told her that and apologized. She acted kind of weird around me in uni but I just pretend that night never happened and continued on.
This week:
It was a mutual close friends birthday and his gf threw him a surprise bday party. Me, bd person, and X finished a regular vodka bottle. Everyone made jokes about X and Me's past and it is funny/awkward. She keeps sitting next to me and talking about her new butt workout (I love butts); people keep on eyeing us. End of the night comes and we are walking home and making sexual jokes, and talking about butts, and what makes them special, she keeps on jokingly saying that she needs to insure her butt because it is her best asset.
I invite her over to my house. She stays night which was unplanned but cool, couldn't sleep because she kept snoring, elbowing me, she slept sideways, and WORSE OF ALL took the blanket. (It is winter) anyway I probably slept 2 hours out of 5 or 6 that she slept and did my best to not wake her up or move her.
When she wakes up she is all chatty and happy and I am just done and want to close the shutters and sleep properly.
X asks what I like (physically) about her and I tell X That it is just her butt, and I should have said eyes but didn't cuz I am tired and can't think straight with lack of sleep and ass.
She tells me not to talk to her and rolls over to go on her phone. I can't be bother and roll over and fall asleep. She elbows me when leaving says that I am an asshole, that I should learn to shut up, and I quote "this can’t happen again. And I don’t want to even be friends tbh just so that there’s no risk".
| HISTORICAL | {
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HCusPnR9sYCI3GXnKk8S0Orz9rQrsvif | auhq58 | {
"description": "showing my 9 year old little sister pictures of measles victims in an attempt to convince my mom to vaccinate",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for showing my 9 year old little sister pictures of measles victims in an attempt to convince my mom to vaccinate? | On mobile, so formatting might be weird.
I'm a 17 year old male living in Canada and both of my parents are antivaxxers. My aunt and uncle are also anti-vax and my situation took place earlier today because it became a large topic at my family dinner. My grandparents are provax because they've lived through polio and know firsthand how bad it is, so they helped my Little brother and I try to argue it into my mom and my aunt.
My aunt doesn't believe that vaccines cause autism but she believes they cause allergies and asthma. Is that really worse than measles? Really? Anyways, that didn't work. I am vaccinated, my Little brother is vaccinated, because in Canada, at 15, you can choose to make your own medical choices. My two little sisters are not, because they aren't old enough to make that choice yet.
About 4 hours away from my house, there is a measles outbreak. This scares the shit out of me because one of my Little sisters is immunocompromised. Which is one of the main reasons why my mom chooses not to vaccinate. I know, completely counter productive and really fucking stupid.
I'm trying to convince my mom to get my sisters vaccinated against measles. When I found directly talking to her was ineffective, I thought that talking to my sisters might help. Like, if they thought that they were in danger, my mom might vaccinate, for their peace of mind. I showed them a picture of a child with measles and said "this kid might die" and 'mom could vaccinate you and protect you but we have to convince her", but she's already convinced them that vaccines are bad. I will break that, trust me. They told her and my mom is now furious and told me "I'm really starting to piss her off" and "when [I] reproduce I can choose to vaccinate my kids". She also told me that it wasn't fair to "harass" such a young, immature age group. I'm naturally very argumentative, so I responded quickly and told her "I tried to 'harass' you about it but I guess you're too immature".
I have no doubt in my mind that vaccines are incredibly helpful, but am I the asshole for showing pictures of measles victims to my 9 year old little sister? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 34,
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"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
FVWNvB31VbGZjI726tdZtwWIZ0LMj8iW | als2xe | {
"description": "not wanting to listen to tv on my 10 minutes lunch break",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to listen to TV on my 10 minutes lunch break? | I work full time and SO works part time. She is 3 months pregnant now and currently I pick up our kid everyday from school, take him home, get some quick lunch (usually I have 10-15 minutes because of the traffic) and then I have to head back to work.
I don't like watching TV at all. I already told her! I hate the flipping commercials and I find it unnecessary to have the TV turned on in the background. As soon as she gets home she turns on the TV on. She says it helps her to relax and if she has to do something in the kitchen our 4 year old is occupied with it so it makes her job easier. It's on in the morning and it's on in the evening.... I accepted that because of the reasons below. BUT
I have to explain and ask her every single time not to turn it on and yet she always asks WHY. She was asked today to turn it off today on my lunchbreak. Again: WHY??? I just told her that I'm leaving anyway and left without saying goodbye.
I feel a bit childish but it really bothers me.
So, is it such a big thing to ask? AITA for wanting 15 minutes without the bloody TV? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 3,
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CUl0P5mhJUrPoBRju7png4ATcsMhRqm5 | a7jc0w | {
"description": "being mad at my friend for canceling",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my friend for canceling? | I had made plans with a really good friend of mine to get dinner, and we had made these plans about a week ago. I asked her to not invite her boyfriend, as I’ve been third wheeling them since the beginning of our friendship. She said sure, no problem. I confirmed yesterday that we were going out tonight, and she said yep. Fast forward to a half hour before I’m supposed to meet her, and she texts me, telling me her boyfriend wants to hang out so can we reschedule. I said sure, but I still am mad that she put him before me when we already had plans for a week now. Am I the asshole for being mad? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YhudBFkYaBQtpZm8NeP2rA5ZBJRNPYgP | apbbfg | {
"description": "calling out a movie theater vaper",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling out a movie theater vaper? | Pretty much as the title says, but obviously there are more details to the story, otherwise I wouldn’t be making this post.
So, yesterday I went to the movies with a couple of friends to see The Prodigy. We’ve seen many other horror/scary movies in the theater together and there’s always something. For some reason people are much much ruder when seeing horror movies so we/I was already prepared for the worst.
Anyway, we get settled into our seats as the previews play and a little bit later these two guys come in and sit next to us, leaving a buffer seat (mind you, many many other seats they could have chosen). Almost immediately he takes out his pen and takes a hit and lets out a huge cloud of smoke. I roll my eyes and sigh and then cross my arms. I can see him look over at me and I think maybe he sees how annoyed I am and will refrain for the rest of the movie, I was wrong.
Like 1 minute after this he takes another hit and I look to my friends, we all roll our eyes and I look back at him while I put my arms up in frustration. He then leaves to go refill his soda and doesn’t return until the movie has already started.
He waits for about 2 minutes after he’s sat back down before taking another hit and releasing yet another HUGE cloud of smoke. I can’t take anymore and I don’t want yet another scary movie ruined, so I turn to him and say, “dude, seriously? This is not the place!” He looks at me with an expression that I can only describe as, “how did she know??” While the people sitting in front of me turned around and glared at me.
Because of this I refrained from saying anything more when he tried to covertly keep smoking. (He turned to I couldn’t see him but I could still hear it, see the smoke, and smell the flavor he picked! Cherry if anyone was curious. But he would also glance over at me every time he took a hit to see if I saw.)
I’m a very shy person and have only recently began to voice my problems with strangers in a public setting but I’m done having things ruined for me! I thought I was doing the right thing by telling him to knock it off but the way I was glared at makes me second guess myself.
So AITA for telling someone not to vape in a theater in not the quietest way? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
glLadjPrXHE7IGLzZlrK1f4cAljGQGKr | asoh9w | null | AITA: My (M31) girlfriend (F25) keeps a picture of her ex boyfriend on her car vanity mirror and I let her know I’m not ok with it. | More story is required. She never kept the picture up or even spoke about him until he took his own life about a year ago. They had been broken up for multiple years and had no contact during our relationship. After the funeral she put the Polaroid up on her vanity mirror in her car, and I initially was uncomfortable, but figured she was just processing.
Over a year later the picture remains. We have had a few discussions about it. At this point I am no longer very understanding. I think she should be over it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 51,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 43,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 57,
"WRONG": 51
} | RIGHT |
UhAQHiHwcFertJR9b7wlIZES43eVgx6G | b32532 | {
"description": "not waiting a week to watch a series with a group of friends because one member (my boyfriend) wants us all to wait for him even though he's seen it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not waiting a week to watch a series with a group of friends because one member (my boyfriend) wants us all to wait for him even though he's seen it? | He's studying away currently and he told us about the series and wanted to watch it with us even though he's seen it all already. He said he wanted to see our reaction. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
cZKmFpBoMxFGfvFTms1yAFdUyiQNz0OF | a7me4c | {
"description": "being upset",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset? | Okay so yesterday was my birthday. (26, whoo) I didn’t really do much all day and I don’t usually like to do much, save for like dinner and a movie with my parents.
My mom wasn’t feeling up to going to an Outback because she was sick and I didn’t want to have to make my dad go alone because he doesn’t like steak. So I just texted him while he was at work if he wanted to go see that new Spider-Man movie at a nice theater and just call it a night since my mom couldn’t go.
Usually, my dad and I both like going to see superhero movies together, it’s our thing. And I really wanted to see it with him because I knew he’d like it, it has good reviews. He said ok.
He gets home from work later that day and was just like ‘it’s an animated movie, I don’t want to see that.’ And just starts to rag on it mainly because ‘it’s a cartoon and you’re almost 30.’
I just got really upset about it and silently went to my room to cry by myself about it. We didn’t end up doing anything together because I just felt really hurt by his comments and attitude and I didn’t want to spend my birthday watching a movie I know Absolutely nothing about. (He wanted to see Creed 2 or The Mortal Instruments. Not talking shit about Creed 2 but I haven’t seen the first one or any Rocky movie and he knows this)
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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uTl1qFu6mH4YpknpiQkzycUWKUjdrBUn | abdi64 | {
"description": "beating my sister in front of my family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for beating my sister in front of my family | I was meaning to post this around Christmas but I got banned hete for an undertale meme
For Christmas my father got 3 video games for us during a Christmas party including Call Of Duty IW.
Naturally, my sister and I got to try the game out and 1v1 each other
Unsurprisingly, I beat the shit out of her in the game, causing her to start crying
And by crying I mean kicking, screaming, and crying
We practically had the cancel the party when this happened
my mother and father called me a jerk and I should've let her win
How was I supposed to know her reaction
I feel bad but am I the asshole | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
2kOE4YVFxXR5YLWE9A19X3aA4hjR7WIO | asxez5 | {
"description": "thinking my friends' art is bad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking my friends' art is bad? | I handle all the PR for an organization I'm apart of including social media and merchandise. Its a type of organization that emphasizes recruitment so our outward appearance is a big deal. Its important that people in think we're a cool, appealing group of people so that they want to join us. One of my friends in this group just started up an Etsy and Instagram account to sell her artwork. Her artwork consists of photos of women traced over in MS Paint with captions about our organization in fonts like Papyrus and Comic Sans, superimposed over photo backgrounds. Its completely un-ironic, looks like it was made by a child, and is honestly pretty unsettling to look out. Of course I would never express a negative opinion about her art to her face, and I have avoided mentioning my aversion to anyone else in the organization because I don't want to insult her work. However, as of today I am working with a new assistant who is INSISTING that we use this girls' art as the icon for our org's Instagram. I'm really reluctant to do so because I have put a lot of work into creating a coherent branding aesthetic for us and don't want to ruin it with art that is frankly ugly and even if it wasn't, doesn't align with the image I've created. Should I be expected to bite the bullet and feature her art to flatter her, even if it hurts our PR? Or AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cazAiBVgpGi2k0aIqFVsuhRsFipVBD9d | aqf874 | {
"description": "not hanging out with my (former) best friend anymore after his dad died",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not hanging out with my (former) best friend anymore after his dad died? | **First off, the title is a bit misleading but I didn't know how else to phrase it. It wasn't because his dad died that I stopped being friends but instead because of what happened as a result.**
So, many, many years ago I was best friends with my neighbor, we knew eachother because of how close we lived and our parents had been great friends for years. We'd been best friend's since I could remember, even though I was a little older than him. For a long time, we were pretty close to brothers, we spent as much time as possible together.
A little later, we're still very young (about 7-8 years old I think), it was summer and we were on vacation separate from each other. One day, my mother gets a phone call and suddenly burst into tears. The night before, my friend's father had gotten a heart attack and died before reaching the hospital. Of course, I cried too but I didn't really comprehend what it meant. I didn't know how to act towards him, so I didn't really talk to him anymore, not like I was avoiding him, just that I had no idea what to say. I remember going to the funeral, but again, I didn't really understand it and only really remember running home afterward to play video games. I feel god awful about this, I know I was young, but I feel so bad for not helping him.
This is about the time the rift started forming between us. After a few weeks, we went back to hanging out a lot. He hadn't recovered at all but sometimes he'd be able to forget about it at least for a while. Then our interests started differing, he was more of the sporty, outdoors type. About this time I got into video games and nerdy stuff.
I still loved him as a brother and it was great. Somewhere along the line though, I'm not sure what time, he started changing. He didn't seem to outgrow being a kid, I think it was because he didn't have a role-model to follow after his dad passed as I did and I didn't offer a good enough one.
Seemingly every conversation, he brought his long-dead father into it somehow. Making everyone feel bad and ruining conversations. I got pissed at him for nothing but that's part of being a kid I guess, it was just so badly timed in his life. About the age of 11 we really stopped being friends, occasionally we'd do stuff but it wasn't the everyday occurrence it used to be.
He idolized his father and did everything the way he thought his father would do it, which was stereotypically country like, not that his father was. He wouldn't stop singing out loud, watching movies his father liked, constantly acting out for attention and recognition etc. He developed a stuck up attitude and didn't know when to shut up and other things I learned young, mostly from my dad.
This was in contrast to me. I hung out with different kids and stopped even talking to this friend. He had plenty of other friends, who also really annoyed me. He surrounded himself with people who sucked up to him and did the exact same things he did.
Don't get me wrong I still love him and think he's a good guy but he's just unbearable more often than not to me.
**TL;DR: My best friend lost his father when we were young. I feel bad for not helping him out when we were younger. He eventually developed into being what I guess I'd describe as an insufferable brat a lot of the time.**
**AITA for not being friends with someone because his dad died and he changed?**
(Also gonna post this on r/confessions cause that's what it is for me.)
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
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} | RIGHT |
lmxshmTzCmTMIeGT73uGRYKC4PBvylvS | b5i438 | {
"description": "having a plumber not get paid",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For having a plumber not get paid? | I was waiting at home for a plumber to show up from 2-3. I called my professor for ome of my classes and missed a class to makesure I was here so I could let him in to get this issue fixed (storm drain has weird growths inside of it, we've had the issue fixed before.).
So, at 6:36 (less than 50 minutes from me writing this) he shows up. I'm a bit annoyed, I missed class for this and I don't like missing classes. If I knew the dude would be so late I'd have made it to class, back, and then some. Dude shows up, I show him the issue, get on my phone, and 10 minutes later he comes up and says he needs to call his boss. He's outside for maybe 15 minutes before I get a call from the group that's covering the expenses of the plumber (don't know their exact name) and they tell me he can't get the lid off the storm drain (the lid I lifted for him to show him the issue) and that they need to create a new one internally and can't do an external one because of our porch, so the bill will be close to 1,400. She says "He said he's been down there for 2 hours and can't figure out any other way." And I scoffed. That prompted her to ask me, "What time did he show up, by chance?" And I was honest with her, and her tone switched to a "Oh really?" Tone. I hang the phone up and go through an 'oh shit' moment as I hear him pounding on the door. Dude looks pissed, but not violent or anything.
Dude explains they called him and said they're not paying him for only doing 10 minutes of work and I sign the thingy that shows his trip is over
I feel like shit. The guy probably just wanted his pay, and he did show up. He didn't do anything, but he gave a diagnosis and did what he said he could. If I knew they'd stiff him, I don't think I would have said anything. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PMO8Y91SnBrkom9DoOR5WDwXn3kpYotP | afpdwm | {
"description": "reporting him to hr",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for reporting him to HR? | This is a long one, TL;DR at the end.
So I work at a company that has a pretty lax 'fraternization' policy. As long as it's not a direct supervisor or department manager, associates are free to date and mess around all they want. Well, I hooked up with a coworker from a different department (I'm just gonna call him Jack for simplicity's sake) I didn't know all that well (we maybe said hi to each other a few times a week, had like two in depth conversations) and regretted it immediately. It was bad sex, it happens.
I told my friend from another department about the hookup because she and I always talk about our bad sex experiences or funny hook up stories. It was discussed outside of work over drinks. As far as I am aware, she has not told anyone else about it.
Cut to a week later and I find out from someone in Jack's department that he not only told a group of five of his coworkers about it, he went into great detail about the scars on my stomach from surgery I had in my teens and made fun of my weight (I'm overweight and working on it, but he is also on the bigger side so I found this to be a low blow). According to the coworker, his exact words were, "I really lowered my standards for her."
I was obviously upset by this but decided to let it go because I told someone else at work about the bad sex.
Another week passes and someone from a different department asks if I know Jack. I said yes and she pulled me aside to tell me he had some pretty nasty remarks to say about my personal life. Apparently, because I freely admitted to him that I had numerous partners, he told some more coworkers that I was a whore.
I always admit how many people I've been with because I think that's important to know before sleeping with someone. I get tested regularly, always use a condom, and, again, I freely admit this before any sort of sexual activity takes place.
After this I confronted him in the break room and basically told him to keep my business out of his mouth. He claimed he didn't tell anyone my name and people just happened to guess it was me (nearly 200 people work in our building so I doubt this). I told him to eff off. I definitely could have handled this better.
Now, about a month after the hookup, a friend of mine from high school texts me and asks if I work with Jack. I had recently introduced this friend to a coworker and they've gone on some dates. She and Jack hang out regularly with a group of friends and were talking about our coworker when he asked if she knew me. She said yes and he told her we hooked up.
I'm considering going to HR because of this. WIBTA if I filed a complaint even though I also told someone about the hookup?
TL;DR - hooked up with a coworker, had bad sex. I told a coworker about it and later learned that he has since told at least seven other people (coworkers and people outside of work) that I'm fat, that he lowered his standards for me, and that I'm a whore because I admitted to having numerous partners. WIBTA if I went to HR and reported it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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} | RIGHT |
x3nbRwooPOr0xuBAElUk2VkZYmrCxlKi | aegxbx | {
"description": "not supporting my fiancé's pregnancy",
"pronormative_score": 112,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not supporting my fiancé’s pregnancy? | My fiancé had cancer and had her ova frozen. Due to the chemo she isn’t supposed to be able to become pregnant. She hasn’t menstruated in four years.
Last April I came home from a show and was greeted with three positive pregnancy tests. We were ecstatic, got engaged, began preparations to have a family. We went to a cadre of specialists and learned we were four or five months along, which wasn’t totally unsurprising given a lack of periods.
The next month we miscarried and we both took it rather hard. We had a mourning period, but by June I thought we’d processed our grief. Then my fiancé asserted that she was still pregnant.
Her belly had not receded and still looked five or six months pregnant. It wasn’t fat (she’s quite active and eats well), but a hard pregnancy bulge. I am skeptical but support her assertion.
We go to five more specialists between June and August, all of whom say they can’t account for the abdominal tissue but ultrasounds, low HCG, and urine tests all disconfirm the possibility of a pregnancy. My fiancé is not dissuaded and continues to tell friends and family she is with child. I am now genuinely worried.
By September, she writes off any further clinical testing and the medical community at large. She begins speaking exclusively with doulas and midwives on Internet groups; looking into cryptic pregnancies, twisted uteri, delayed implantation. Our relationship is strained.
Her physical symptoms do not recede and she continues to tell anyone who’ll listen that she is due any day now. She stops going to our joint activities and lines our furniture with plastics in preparation of childbirth. She researches home birthing and begrudges me for not doing the same.
We fight. I tell her that I believe her symptoms are psychogenic. I believe that her desire for maternity has produced a phantom pregnancy. These mostly occur in women who’ve lost a pregnancy between 33 and 35 years of age. My fiancé is 34. She accuses me of calling her crazy, and I tell her the subconscious mind longing for a child is very sane, but she considers my disbelief an insult.
She begins to justify her extended pregnancy in odd ways, saying that she herself was a 52 week pregnancy (she wasn’t), that some pregnancies can carry to well over a year (they can’t), and that we’ll be millionaires once we sue the hospitals who’ve misdiagnosed the pregnancy (we won’t). I refute these claims, as the longest pregnancy ever was three months beyond nine, and try to use her logic (potential harm to herself and the fetus beyond nine months) as a way to reintroduce my fiancé to proper medical care. She refuses it.
The first week of December we have a midwife in our home who brings a sonogram and fetoscope, hears nothing, and again disconfirms a pregnancy. I tell the midwife my theory and the midwife finds it plausible. My fiancé consents that she is not pregnant.
Until the holidays, when she tells both me and our entire extended family that she still feels kicks, has bloody mucilage, and has been talking with a midwife 150 miles from our home who has seen this kind of thing all the time. It goes over as well as it sounds. I am both horrified and exasperated. I tell her this is verging on 52 weeks and she tells me some pregnancies can reach 1.7 years.
She schedules an appointment with this new midwife and announces that I cannot come with her as I am too rife with negativity. I drive my fiancé to the midwife’s home - an apartment in a questionable area of a questionable city - and fill the hour by trying to find a whisky I’ve been looking for.
I am hoping this woman will see the desperation and as gently as possible tell my fiancé she’s not with child, but I pick her up and she’s beaming. I should’ve realized that you don’t scour the Internet to find someone to validate your delusions if you aren’t confident they’ll be affirmed.
“The midwife felt the baby and taught me how to feel it, too. She poked it and it moved from one side of my uterus to the other. She used a Doppler to hear it. She said I know my body and to believe in myself.”
Am I the asshole for not indulging this fantasy?
Update:
I’ve asked her go to a therapist with me. She laughed and made my disbelief an issue of me not trusting her body and intuition.
I told her to be wary of the cryptic pregnancy support groups that allege low HCG pregnancies that don’t show up on ultrasound and can last 3-5 years are real and common. They’re taking advantage of vulnerable people. She said there are hundreds of women who’ve had successful births in those groups. It’s cultic.
She reiterated that she heard movement and a heartbeat on the Doppler. I proposed that by now it would show up on an ultrasound and asked her to get another one for me. She refused and suggested that ultrasounds are linked to autism.
At this point she said that she would deal with the pregnancy herself since I didn’t trust her and I assured her I was only concerned because I cared. She clammed up.
I’ve notified her family of my concerns.
Update 2:
After increasingly reckless behavior that led to not one, but two extremely preventable house fires (and with that behavior showing no signs of slacking), I have exited the relationship.
Among few blessings I’ve had this past year were that my dog was with me on both occasions and she and I were not harmed by smoke or flame. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 112,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
mPoKoRl6Pm7RAsN0yjyOW0HywCV28Ebv | aiukfs | {
"description": "not wanting my in-laws to move in with us",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my in-laws to move in with us? | I forget how we got onto the topic, but my wife I were discussing our parent's age. She brought up how she was going to have her parents move in with us when they got to the point where it would be difficult for them to live on their own. She doesn't want to "stick them in a home".
I almost immediately said no to this. I highly value our privacy, and I'm not willing to offer to have extra people in the house. I volunteered to pay for high quality assisted living or whatever arrangement they wanted.
After some back and forth, she was essentially making me out to be a jerk and was getting mad I was so opposed to the idea. I feel like this isn't a responsibility we are expected to or obliged to offer, especially considering she has a sister and my parents are around the same age as hers.
If her parents asked if they could move in I would be willing to have a conversation about it, but it upsets me that my wife would consider offering it unprompted.
Both families are typical white suburban American.
Am I being an asshole or is this something that's expected of children as their parent's age?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
11rBlfBZ3KAnuZ8gHzgwSsgZzT0udHXu | 9vnlrq | {
"description": "ignoring my friends texts and not inviting them to an event",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For ignoring my friends texts and not inviting them to an event? | Concerns one of my friends from the 'original' friend group in college. I'll call them Lucy. We bonded quickly early on but as college has progressed I've made loads more good friends, and come to find that certain people in the original friend group live to try and cause drama. This has caused a certain level of seperation with the group at times.
I've been away in a different university for ages and won't be home until just before Christmas, so I have a huge amount of things planned or responsibilities I have to take care of as I've been away for nearly a year. Lucy is aware of this and has asked me when I'll be free to see the OG group. I've been open and honest and said that I'm not totally sure as I'm extremely busy but I can't wait to see them again. They then respond asking if being away has 'changed me' and being very passive aggressive with their messages about how they basically expect me to drop everything to make sure I see them first.
As a result this has meant I haven't invited friends from the group to an upcoming party as it would mean having to invite Lucy and certain others as well and I don't have the patience for the possible drama it would cause on a day I want to be happy. Am I the asshole for making better friends with other people and not wanting petty drama at the special occasion even it means not seeing people I consider friends? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6UjVmVu6jhTiLTVqF8Akj8kCgrnppOIp | b28yhh | {
"description": "asking a girl to leave after having sex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking a girl to leave after having sex? | This happend a few weeks ago. Me and my previous partner had mutually broken up about two months before this event happend. Our breakup was an amicable one, we were still living together until she got the money to move out, but didn't mind if either of us started dating again. After my ex had been on a few dates she encouraged me to try tinder, so I did.
I started talking to this girl, let's call her Amy, and we agreed to go on a date. The first thing I did was inform her of the fact that I lived with my ex and asked her if this would be a problem. She said that she'd had issues with men and abuse in the past and would find it difficult, but she was willing to give it a try. It was also at this point we both shared any problems we had, such as me telling her I suffer from anxiety and am not good with sudden changes or decisions.
So we go on our date and it goes alright, although at the end of it she starts to act increasingly strange. Eventually she blurts out that she thinks I'm still sleeping with my ex. She goes as far as suggesting that when she drops me off I prove to her that my ex and I don't share a bed anymore (I'd already informed her we split into separate rooms). I probably should have told her to get stuffed at this point, but I'm pretty bad at confrontation and social things in general so I'm like sure whatever.
So when she drops me off I show her my ex's room and then my room. She immediately jumps onto my bed, strips and beckons me over. Now I had no plans on having sex, we'd both said sex on a first date was off the cards due to her past and I was already pretty anxious because of the whole situation. I tried to tell her no but that wasn't really working, so I just ended up having sex to get her to leave.
The sex was slightly strange, she kept attempting to make me not wear a condom and finish inside her, which I was having none of. So afterwards I asked her to leave, although more diplomatically, and she had a full on meltdown over it. I'd rather not repeat the conversation since it went on for hours and involved her hanging around my house until 4am begging me to come save her from the cold, but I thought it was a bit of an overreaction.
However since then she's been calling me an asshole and a piece of shit for the whole situation, saying I'm just another piece of shit who's fucked her and left her. I do feel like an asshole but I don't think I was too out of line asking her to leave, especially when I'd already explained about my anxiety and dislike of new situations (I can't sleep without a very specific setup).
Thanks for any opinions! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
XmCC3CcaMy65I0BhwJIOTVXknBDPsUdd | b5bz3e | {
"description": "calling animal control on my neighbors pets",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: Calling animal control on my neighbors pets | My neighbors (right across from me) have to small rat type dogs. I believe the majority of the family went out for spring vacations but there is still someone who takes care of the dogs in odd times.
Somehow the dogs got out from the backyard and started running around, barking like crazy. At night the neighbor is taken over by a family of raccoons and human-friendly stray cats. Both of the groups were probably going to eat those dogs alive so I called animal control. Later the person taking care of the dogs went out looking for them and my dad told them what happened. I explained the situation more and they basically said I should have bring them in the house or keep them in the backyard. I am not sure what happens after animal control takes them but I don't want those dogs in the house nor do I have a place to put them in the backyard. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
eeF7IdOoinWfauo4Or9qeq8bahx3ojoj | awz2t0 | {
"description": "making fun of a date",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making fun of a date? | About 2 months ago I was out drinking with my cousin and she told me about her boyfriend's friend (Adam) that she thought would be a perfect match for me. I was skeptical but agreed to meet with him.
​
A couple days later Adam messaged me on Facebook and we started texting. I thought he was nice but I didn't feel like we had much in common. We decided to meet in person anyways.
​
The first thing that annoyed me was that he was supposed to pick me up at [4.pm](https://4.pm). but showed up at 6. He did apologize so it didn't bother me that much. An important detail - I really dressed up for the date, had on heels and all that because he suggested getting dinner when we were texting. I got in the car and he said it was too late to grab dinner and we could go to the lake nearby and spend some time there. I didn't want to be one of those girls that are extremely picky about dates so I thought whatever. We got to the lake and there were a lot of people there so he told me he knows this path that's always empty and we could walk there, talk and get to know each other.
We walked for about an hour and it started to get dark so I asked if we could get back because I wasn't feeling that good about walking around in the forest at night. He said that we could but we're just 15 minutes away from this little pier and we absolutely needed to go there because it's so romantic. Little did I know, 15 minutes actually meant another one and a half hour of walking. Best thing is, we weren't even talking because he was about 2 feet in front of me and just kept looking once in a while to check if I was behind. We got to the pier and I was getting angry. We just spent 2 hours walking around a lake, he wasn't even interested in talking to me and my feet hurt because I was wearing those damn 5inch heels.
We sat on that pier for some time and to be honest I was about to cry because I was so uncomfortable and I literally couldn't even walk properly anymore. We walked 2 hours back, it was pitch black and when we were getting into the car he asked me how I liked the date. I said (in a really sarcastic way) "Well, I never spent 4 hours in my life better".
Some time after that date he messaged me and wanted to go out again but it never happened.
About a week ago I met with our mutual friend for drinks and when we got tipsy he told me Adam told him about our date. Well, it turns out he told him I talk way too much, try too much to be cute and he wouldn't want to spend any more time with me. I was kinda hurt (cause who likes to hear mean things, I mean...) but I just laughed and said "Just tell him that next time he wants to take a girl on a date he should text me, I'm gonna give him some better ideas than walking around for 4 hours".
My friend then told that to Adam and Adam texted me mad as hell to tell me that I'm a bitch and he regrets ever going on that date.
Am I the asshole in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
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} | RIGHT |
4Tz65ly52Y62aRZapdQ12AQ5r5B9fvsR | akaspr | {
"description": "not letting my neighbor use my grill",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I didn’t let my neighbor use my grill? | Some context: I am/was a furloughed employee and my next door neighbor asked to use my grill to cook hot dogs for furloughed workers. He didn’t know my grill is charcoal and it’s a pain in the ass to start because the top vent is cast iron which I’ve greased up. It’s currently below freezing although it’s supposed to get in the mid 40s. When it’s cold it’s extremely difficult to open the top vent and if you don’t open the top vent the charcoal goes out. To compound this, he hasn’t checked to see if we were okay at all during the shutdown. WIBTA here for just saying no don’t use my grill? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ka5bjUE2xYFejK2rRcT6ublktiTVkQwX | adot9t | {
"description": "visiting my sick boyfriend in the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for visiting my sick boyfriend in the hospital? | This is long, TL;DR at the bottom.
​
Throwaway because he uses reddit occasionally.
​
So my boyfriend hasn't been feeling well the past week, I finally got him to go to the hospital a little over 2 days ago. That's also the last time I heard from him, his last message being "I'm at the hospital now." So I got a little worried about not hearing from him, we talk/hang out a whole lot. His best friend who I've also grown to become good friends with messaged me today and asked if I heard from him, and I told him no I haven't and I was gonna ask him the same thing soon. I told him about him being in the hospital, he was in my area so he asked to come over and smoke a cig on my porch and we'd call the hospital and see if he was still there.
​
His best friend arrives at my house, he calls the hospital, and he is still there. He connects to his room and they talk for a bit and hang up. I get the idea to give him a surprise visit because hospitals suck and are lonely and I thought he'd like being cheered up by his best friend and girlfriend. We walked a few miles from my house to the WRONG HOSPITAL and found out he was actually a different hospital with the same name a few cities away. Not wanting to walk there, I called one of my friends and asked if they'd take me to see him at the other hospital, they did, we showed up.
​
First thing that he says is "Why are you two together?" And we explain the situation, how we weren't just casually hanging out and met up because he was near my street and we were both worried about him and wanted to visit him. Note his friend has a long term pregnant gf of 5+ years and they have other kids together as well. Nor do I cheat, OR have we ever been interested in each other like that. No need to get jealous but he was I guess because the next thing he said was "So while I'm in the hospital, you're out hanging with MY friends?" I kinda awkwardly laughed it off and said "We just wanted to check on you." His friend starts talking to him and catching up and telling him about his kids recent birthday and stuff about his girlfriend, and my boyfriend is clearly not listening, so he asks him if he's okay, and he says "Dude I'm gonna be honest with you I just don't fucking care right now" And his friend looked sad and looked down kind of, and after an awkward pause he said "Thats why I love you man you're always straightforward and honest."
​
Then my boyfriend asks how we got there and how we're getting back and when and being kind of pushy about it, note at this point we've been there maybe 10 minutes at most, and I said "I'll figure it out I'll be able to find a way back easy." Because I didn't think that far ahead yet and thought I'd just play it by ear. But he just snaps suddenly and starts yelling and ranting saying things like "Dude honestly just leave both of you just fucking leave this is ridiculous I would've fucking texted you both when I was out and you just fucking show up without warning just fucking go seriously go right now like fuck this is annoying get out now." I started tearing up a bit at this point, (because he's been really consistently snappy with me the past week anyway and this was just kinda the last push to make me cry) and apologizing profusely and gathering my bag and heading towards the door, and his friend stays back. He goes "AND TAKE HIM WITH YOU." After that, and his friend says hang on he wants to talk to him one on one a bit.
​
So I walk out crying and heading towards the exit, and not long after (and some more muffled loudness from the room,) his friend catches up to me and tells me he talked to him and said not to be so harsh on me and that we were just worried and care about him and he just said "See ya bro." And motioned for him to leave. After that I talked to him a few hours later over text and asked if we could talk or see each other when he got home today if he was feeling up to it because I was there when the doctor said they were getting ready to discharge him soon, and all he said was "I'm not going home today." I said "Oh why not the doctor said you were.. Are you being discharged tomorrow then?" And all he said was "idk" and haven't heard from him since..
​
AITA for dropping in unexpectedly? I talked to my parents about it and my dad thinks HITA and that I'm an idiot for apologizing over and over to him over it but my mom thinks IATA for "bothering him while he's not feeling well and to give him space and leave him alone." But he seemed to be feeling way better when I saw him today and even said he was feeling a lot better.
​
TL;DR boyfriend went MIA for two days after telling me hes in the hospital causing me and his best friend to worry because he's usually pretty good at keeping in contact, we decided to go cheer him up as a surprise, he yelled at us and threw us out. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
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} | RIGHT |
Ukw4dx72GjDjOCJtqsPNxWY3fiUFKh9z | ay3ps6 | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AItA for not wanting to talk to my friend? | So my friend called an we talked for like an hour. And I was tired so I wanted to express that we might hang up and just text but then she got mad and said that I just didn't wanna talk to her.
I tried to explain that texting would be more chill. But she didn't want to hear that, said "just don't talk to me then" and hung up.
She won't reply to text messages and I feel kind of bad but I'm not sure why. Can you guys help me pls? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JJenmnzTfI3LYbZKDCw856NYpYO4qllT | 9wjifg | {
"description": "not caring about Stan Lee's death",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not caring about Stan Lee's death? | I never was a big fan of marvel in the first place but reddit is going crazy about his death. My friend told me about his death because of reddit and I said "I know" and he asked what was I gonna do, and I said nothing. He got mad and called me a faggot. I just never got into comic books, movies, or anything else related to marvel or DC. So please tell me AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kJAzMEEguesRwarAWYot5z6zeZFQmAEg | ackzoy | {
"description": "considering euthanizing our cat because he's gotten sick, and pet care in the US is outrageously expensive",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA - For considering euthanizing our cat because he's gotten sick, and pet care in the US is outrageously expensive | I am a full time college student and I also have three cats. The cats came into my care because of friends who became homeless several years ago and left the state so I have been caring for them for several years now. Recently one of the cats became ill, he is currently hospitalized at an emergency pet clinic. The vet has informed me that it's likely fatty liver disease and that if it is he will need invasive surgery. The hospitalization for a single day has already costed over $2,000 and this is just the diagnostic cost. I have no idea what the treatment costs will be. I feel pretty messed up about it, I have no way to afford to have him treated. I already maxed out my credit cards to have him admitted to the clinic. At this point if he does need the invasive surgery I am seriously considering euthanizing him.
​
Edit: We hospitalized the cat, right now he's still alive and seems pretty energetic given the circumstance. He wasn't diagnosed since his blood wasn't clotting well enough. I have to syringe feed him and we have him on several medications. He isn't eating on his own yet but he is drinking a lot and gets up and wanders around the apartment semi-frequently. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
parUYB3O5nXFe4K2SfbMLgwZgim11QJJ | b5mn46 | {
"description": "telling my bf that in case I get pregnant, I get to make the last call on whether we are keeping it or not",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for telling my bf that in case I get pregnant, I get to make the last call on whether we are keeping it or not? | So, bit of background. I (F24) had a pregnancy scare about a week ago. Forgot some of my birth control pills and had unprotected sex, not very smart of me. The shops were not open yet, so we couldn't get a pregancy test yest. But we started discussing what we should do. Currently I am in a state in my life where I definitely do not want to have kids, so I said to my bf (M26) that I probably would get an abortion if I turned out to be pregnant. He said that we should talk this through if I turn out to be pregnant before we make any decisions. I said sure, we definitely need to talk about it, but when it comes down to it, i'ts my body so my decision. He got really really angry for saying that.
I tried to explain to him that of course we will make it a mutual decision, and we will talk, explore our options and objectively try to weigh all those options, but in the end it is my body and if we really don't agree on it it is my call. He called me selfish and said that say I want to keep the baby, and he wants me to get it aborted, I would still get the last call and ruin his whole life by giving him a baby that he doesn't want. I said well, it is a difficult one, but you cannot force a women to abort a baby if she doesnt want it as it is her body. In that moment it is my decision, and if I decide to have it while knowing very well that the baby is not wanted by the father and I am hurting you by this and ruining your life and very likely our relation, it is still my decision. He thought I was crazy for thinking like this and we just couldn't agree with each other.
Luckily, I'm not pregnant (yay) so we don't have to think about this. But I am still wondering, AITA for thinking like this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
YLUnDbY343iVQq2r9ZPCY81l4OxRx1JL | b8on7r | {
"description": "calling out a classmate for his unacceptable behavior in class",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I called out a classmate for his unacceptable behavior in class? | So I am a senior in college taking a BS class because I need four more credit hours to graduate. The class is mostly full of freshman or seniors doing the same thing I am. It is taught by this very kind woman in her 50's who really loves the subject she teaches and loves teaching and working with others. This shows in everything she does and even though I'm taking this class for the credits and its not in my major or a requirement to graduate I find myself respecting her immensely for her passion.
Enter this one freshman guy. We will call him X. Day one of the class I go to the bathroom during break and I hear X talking to his buddy. They are planning on getting high before class. At the time I think whatever not my business he passes or fails on his own merit. Fortunately, X has very poor attendance even though the class is in the middle of the day and very easy to make it to especially because he lives on campus like half a mile away or less. This all suddenly changes though. As I believe X does sports, not entirely sure he doesn't appear very athletic, however sports require a minimum GPA. I believe half way through the class X realized that attendance is graded or the teacher had a word with him about it. Most likely the latter.
Now X is attending class everyday and he is coming in high as fuck. Like just getting up and wandering around the classroom cursing randomly or in conversation with the teacher and just making a complete fool of himself. A lot of his freshy buddies find his antics hilarious. I usually wouldn't give a fuck but, I can't help but empathize with the teacher. This is something she cares greatly about and this guy is showing up high literally everyday, not paying attention, randomly lying across the desks or on the ground, and just being a complete fucking idiot. She's tried to hint at him that he should change his behavior but, clearly it's not getting through.
I'm really tempted to call him out on it if he keeps it up or try to find some way to get him in deep shit for his behavior. But, on the other hand I'm a senior so I could hypothetically keep my head down and just not have to deal with him ever again. If I decided to call him out would I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MEXFCddSxMK6fKZomCNlRpd3cNJ7sZxf | astis2 | {
"description": "lying to my overbearing parents about \"going out\" after school to get food or coffee with friends",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for lying to my overbearing parents about “going out” after school to get food or coffee with friends | So for context my (17f) parents have been much more controlling/ protective of me than my friends parents have been for pretty much my whole life. When I was younger I couldn’t go outside and play or walk to school despite us living in a relatively safe neighborhood, I didn’t have a phone until I was 15 ect ect all the normal strict parent stuff
Last night my expense report from my bank was delivered, and after looking it over I left it out on the kitchen table not thinking anything of it. (all the money in the account is mine- I have a job and have a good amount saved up. Both my parents names are on the account bc I am a minor) While I was in the shower my mom looked through it and confronted me later about the charges on it.
There were charges for a small coffee shop, chick fil a, and one at the local mall, all of which she was quite upset about. I hadn’t told her when I went to these places, and it is an expectation of my parents to know when I leave for school, arrive at school, leave for home, arrive at home ect ect and I get bombarded with texts and calls if I forget to let them know about one step of the process. In my mind I know this is bc they worry about me, but it has gotten exhausting and feels unnecessary.
It is also quite difficult to ask to make plans, as most of the time they will say no unless I ask a week beforehand with addresses and exact times on hand.
All of this is expected despite the fact they have trackers in both my phone and my car, and can see where I am without grilling me 24/7.
The combination of all of this (plus other forms of lack of privacy and general overbearingness that I don’t have the time to get into right now) has driven me to the point of lying to their faces. I will say I’m home after school when I’m really hanging out with friends or getting coffee, and this has worked for a while. Until now of course.
I don’t feel like this is a big deal. Almost every other person my age can go wherever and hang out with their friends, and as long as they are home by curfew, it’s no big issue. I’ve never had that, and I’m losing relationships with my friends because of it. My parents said I was putting myself in a lot of danger (especially by going to the mall -my mom has got this idea in her head that I’m going to get shot if I go there even though we live in a very safe part of town) and by lying about where I am I have only proved I’m not ready for the responsibility of being let a bit of freedom.
So my question is— am I genuinely the ungrateful immature child my parents made me out to be and I should just suck it up for the next few years—or is this a normal reaction from someone who has been heavily micromanaged and sheltered their entire life and is desperate for a bit of autonomy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
PxVrmuMvWknGRJskJVMHHOLh6vvPmLI1 | ays7ls | {
"description": "going behind my lab groups backs",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going behind my lab groups backs | Am I an asshole for doing this:
I’m part of a lab group and we had a Laboratory report due two weeks after we performed the lab. I gradually worked a little bit on it every day and emailed the group 3 days before it was due with my contact info and a list of tasks they need to do, but didn’t receive any reply. The night before the exam no other member even opened the shared document. I completed the entire the lab and emailed my professor and TA explaining the situation. I submitted it on Thursday 12 am, and it is due on Friday 5pm. I leave out of town on Friday, so I am unable to submit it to the professor then. I wanted to guarantee that it gets submitted and do not trust me group members to have complete it well or submit it. I understand they may have tried to complete it on Friday before 5pm but I had no assurance of this. Am I in the wrong for going behind their back and telling the professor that I did all the work? Additionally, instead of putting their names on the report I put my own name in 4 different fonts, hopefully to get a chuckle from my professor. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
X4plm6Qz62QiUhhUc36vh0Oue3lXXQ0O | aldy29 | {
"description": "not sharing my stash with my long term gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA if i don't share my stash with my long term gf? | I (F/23) was having an argument with my gf (F/22) about the multiple times she took weed from my stash, without asking first. For the last months, she wasn't able to purchase any oz of the weed, as she is a freelancer and business have been slow. In the other hand, i have a 9-to-5 job that allows me to buy an ounce every other week, to enjoy after a long and hard day at work. Since she's a heavy user as me (smoking daily) i told her that i wasn't able to keep up my use and hers as well. Then, some days i noticed that my jar was moved from where i left it the night before. I directly ask her if she was taking my weed from the jar. She repeatedly said no, multiple times, multiple days. But i was always suspicious. Last night was the last straw, as i saw clearly that my grinder wasn't as full as i left last night. I confronted her and we had an argument for over two hours.
The thing is i feel like she's clearly taking advantage of the fact that i always have some in my stash and the fact that she's my gf , and as we live together, 'we have to share everything.' . I don't feel good about it. I feel like she corrupted the trust i had in her by taking without asking or taking my opinion in consideration. So i told her it was the last time this happened and that i would keep my stash locked.
I really love her, but i don't like feeling like she's taking everything for granted from me, like i have an obligation to share EVERYTHING.
TLDR: I dont feel confortable sharing my weed stash with my GF, while she does not pay for it.
​
Pd. I don't mind sharing other things like computer, videogames systems, clothing, etc. But i really don't like when people mess up with my weed. For me, is a personal ritual and i like keeping my things under control.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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oMW0iDqUnux8ES21by7wcjdN5raO96yA | atsl4h | {
"description": "not wanting to visit my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to visit my grandmother? | My brother has recently expressed interest in going to visit my grandmother on Sunday. I don’t want to. I don’t care for the woman, and to be honest, I don’t like her. She lives six hours away and isn’t a dot on my radar at any time, but she’s in town, so he wants to see her I guess. My brother and I have always been the sort of oddballs of the family. We’re not very close to anyone besides my one cousin, and a few tias and tios. I can only guess his reason for wanting to see her is because he wants to get closer to the family.
Well he’s decided that I’m going to join him, and by decide I mean he’s told my parents he wants to go see her, and somehow it’s now us going to see her. I don’t want to. I have work, I don’t know her, and again I don’t care for her.
Now let’s get to the why: my grandmother is a bad person. Plain and simple. She’s a hypocrite who thumps the bible, but talks about how all “them n-words are moving to the town now.” She’s “had” every disease under the sun. In one year she had cancer, a broken elbow, cancer again, and a stroke. The year before that she had cancer again. Sometimes the cancer is in her lungs, sometimes brain, sometimes it’s random body parts that develop cancer. My dad had a heart attack last year, and a week later she also had a heart attack with the same story as my dad’s. She talks like a baby because of her “stroke” so holding a conversation with her is impossible. Basically either this woman is real life iron man and should be studied, or she’s a liar. The fact that she’s never been sick from her “cancer treatments” or looks the same year after year leads me to believe she’s full of shit. So there’s a few reasons I don’t like her.
I don’t know this woman, I’m an adult, she’s someone who I’ve decided I don’t like and don’t want to spend time with. I’m not going to start shit, but I’m not going out of my way to visit her, and if she wants to come see me I’ll tell her no. My brother, my dad, and my mom (who usually agrees with me about this) say I should lighten up, but I’m not arguing with them, I’m just firmly saying no. They say I’ll regret it later, which may be true, but I can worry about that later. Also, again I do not know this woman, so if something happens to her I cannot say I would care too much, or it would be a huge burden. I love my family, but they don’t need me to tag along with them. Also I work that night, and they want me to go spend my free time before work with her, and I can think of a million fucking things I’d rather do than see her. But maybe I should lighten up.
So, AITA? Because I really feel like I’m being one, but at the same time, I can’t help the way I feel, and I don’t want to have this bitter angry feeling that I’ll know I get from seeing her. | HISTORICAL | {
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ltrNJB3x3ESZxpJtEAeWyKF36THroP0y | asw288 | {
"description": "not wanting my wife to do Mother's Day with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not wanting my wife to do Mother's Day with my ex? | I have two children with my ex, who are 13 and 15. My wife and I have been married for 10 years.
If you're wondering why I'm thinking about Mother's Day in February, it's because my ex rents out a room and does a huge party with her whole family and the kids every year. I usually do not go to that, because while my ex and I co parent fairly well, it's just always a little uncomfortable for us to be together.
My wife has said she felt left out of the Mother's Day celebration for years but agreed that they should spend the day with their real mom instead. However, my ex decided to invite my wife this year, I guess because the kids asked her to, but I don't know for sure. My wife got really excited and really wants to go, but I feel weird about it. I just don't like the idea of my ex and my wife being too close and this feels like a boundary being crossed. I want to say no, but I don't want to upset my wife. I also don't want to ruin a good co parenting relationship, but I don't want this situation (and my ex) to interfere with my marriage either. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
iiupTyGVPMSDaqGSvwp9OsRJB9TlEqt2 | axezva | {
"description": "getting this guy banned from my sorority's events",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting this guy banned from my sorority's events | My sorority has a "blacklist" and any member can add anyone who makes us uncomfortable or makes up feel unsafe.
There's a guy who comes to a lot of our events and is in a frat that we socialize a lot with. He's never attacked me or anything, but he makes me wildly uncomfortable. Examples:
\-I had my phone in my back pocket and I felt someone take it out. I turned around and he was holding my phone and said he wanted to see if I could feel someone steal it so he could show me that it isn't safe to keep my phone in my back pocket.
\-He often spends events sitting in the corner and staring at me. Every time I look at him, he's staring at me and smirking.
\-He started messaging me on snapchat and when I didn't answer quickly enough, he started saying things like "no one cares about me" and "I guess I should just go die" and it made me very uncomfortable. I asked him to stop talking to me. He didn't so I blocked him and he made another account to keep messaging me.
\-He was playing beer pong at a party, looked right at me, made eye contact, and adjusted himself in his pants without looking away from me.
I knew he was planning on coming to our next event so I asked our standards chair to blacklist him and she did. The member who was planning on bringing him was informed that he was not allowed to come. She got upset and sent a message to our entire sorority accusing the person who blacklisted him (me, though she doesn't know it) of being a bully and discriminating against him because he has autism. I haven't told anyone that it was me, and as of now, he is still blacklisted. AITA for blacklisting him and then keeping quiet about it? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 7,
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gDV4PzrwXP2iiE1qiMAMwoxOEAxAd0tq | azw7cj | {
"description": "splashing my Sister with Water",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For Splashing my Sister with Water | First off, I'm on mobile so sorry for the format
This is a short one
Now my sister is a bit of a bitch to me so I wasn't really surprised but I'm curious.
I was on the couch watching TV and she came up and said I was sitting in her spot, I didn't move so she sat ON ME (I'm a guy so this was weird), I got pissed off and told her to move, I tried pushing her but it didn't work. I had an open water bottle in my hand so she decided to tap it, my whole right side got soaked, so I got really PO'd and poured it on her head, she proceeded to yell at me and called me a dick. She changed clothes and for the rest of the day, she called me an asshole.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
MQ6kRgii3jvxh2L8P8H3u55Rnwdtft57 | b8jnpl | null | AITA For My Grocery Store Line Etiquette? | I will explain the line orientation first so that you can get the whole picture.
There is one express lane for three separate cash registers. Then there is one line for each other register but they are not express. There was one person in line in the express lane and I went to stand behind him. Then I noticed that a normal lane (non-express) was open. So, I exited the express lane and went to the empty normal lane. I figured I might as well go in the empty normal lane then wait in the express.
Well, the guy in front of me in the express lane came over and said, "Do you not see me waiting in line in front of you?". I said, "You are in that line which is for those registers, Sorry many." He then said something and walked off very angry. He gave me a very nasty look when he left.
So, AITA? Did I not follow the system correct or break some unwritten rule? I really was kind of shocked b.c I was under the impression that is how lines work. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 18,
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"RIGHT": 18,
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} | RIGHT |
ynxCYXQopxMKpIqrd8FZbgaTd1TJVq2G | awoh85 | {
"description": "Outright refusing changing how I look",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Outright Refusing Changing How I Look? | I’m very heavily tattooed considering my age (F20), with a full sleeve, blacked out neck, chest tattoo etc. as well as stretched ears and piercings. Split tongue isn’t visible unless shown. I like to wear pretty revealing clothing as I just feel more comfortable doing so.
Right now I’m in a country on the Gold Coast and forced to socialize with everyone I live here with (from the same home country).
There’s a guy who has a general distaste for me. I’ve had a hard time figuring out exactly why, but know it’s not in my head since I’ve asked a couple others and they’ve observed it too. He’s around 60, so there’s a considerable age gap.
A couple of days ago we got into an argument. I stated: “I’m of course not criticizing person X for how he sees tattoos, it’s a very personal thing, just glad he couldn’t see all of mine since our beliefs differ”, to which he replied “No no, I’m criticizing YOU.”
Oh okay.
The bickering back and forth, to sum it up, went something like this:
According to him I’m “walking around all the time provoking people, not considerate of how others can feel about my tattoos, should cover myself absolutely everywhere I ever go (when I brought up our very liberal European home country he stuck to his guns), should actually think about and respect people, not taking others into consideration at all, should always respect there can be ONE person that doesn’t like it, clearly craved the attention because otherwise I would just cover them up, YOU ARE PROVOKING PEOPLE”.
My points were: “You’ve seen that invited over I’m always considerate enough to try to cover myself (skirts down to my ankles & shirts that show no cleavage), I haven’t gotten any bad reactions here and several local people are tattooed as well as people from our home country constantly being here, I’m not going to cover myself everywhere I go just because it might mess with one single persons beliefs never have never will, I can’t consider every single persons opinion, you know I have severe anxiety I just have accepted this will draw people in and I generally avoid eye contact so I don’t really notice the looks”.
I was as civil as possible considering I live with this guy even though I was fuming inside. Even though this was my life choice I don’t feel I should have to take into consideration that another adult can’t deal with other people being different than them in my day to day life, I felt it was extremely rude to suggest I do so. Another person cut the conversation off because they saw it was going south fast.
However, I’ve noticed I have an ability to miss out on some social cues, so I’m worried I might be the asshole in refusing to always consider other people’s beliefs in public. So AITA?
TL;DR: Guy tells heavily tattooed me I should always cover my body for the sake of all other people’s beliefs, I outright refuse the idea. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 7,
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ub8oR8CIuFHmTKmuwHMHNWKorKQIzhpd | amg7gw | {
"description": "not making my sister my maid of honor",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not making my sister my maid of honor? | So, this August, my fiance and I are getting married. We each decided to have three people standing for us on each side. I chose my best friend to be my maid of honor, my sister, and my fiance's sister.
We were discussing the wedding details over Christmas and my sister found out she was just a. Bridesmaid and not my MoH. Now, I asked her to be in my wedding months ago but never told her what she would be. I chose my best friend over her because my best friend lives close to us and has been around since my relationship started with my fiance and just knows us as a couple better and my sister lives across the country.
Basically, my sister keeps telling me how stupid of a decision I'm making in not choosing her and keeps telling both my parents and my fiance that I need to make her my MoH since she's known me all my life and loves me more than my best friend.
So... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 12,
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kVGDwKWLdOBfvnEWjlXbnfYojoPTYvff | az01zq | {
"description": "not wanting to play with my friends because they make fun of me while playing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to play with my friends because they make fun of me while playing | (On phone so spelling and formatting will probably be off)
Recently me and my friends have been playing Rocket League because we realized we all had the game. I generally have fun with them but within the past week they have been making fun of my weight and how I’m so called fat.
I’m not overweight but I’m pretty close to being overweight. But, I honestly don’t eat too much, and their are factors on why they believe this.
1. My metabolism is kinda low
2. I have a larger structure than them (to put it in words, they are branches and I’m a log) so this makes me appear fat.
Did I also say that this has gone on for about 3 years?
Now before you say “Well obviously they are bullying you” there is more info to it.
First off, it’s just recently got annoying. For almost 3 years, they did call me fat, but they hardly said it, so I never got bothered by it. It has just recently been annoying me, as they are starting to say it A LOT more.
They only start doing it when I’m playing with the 2 of them. For instance say I’m just playing with Friend A, or just Friend B. They won’t do it then. If I play with A, B, and C, they won’t do it then either. The only time they do it is when it’s just A, B, and me.
They only do it when I mess up in the game. I suck ass at the game, but still have fun. Whenever I mess up playing with them, they start doing it.
They are also still my friends. I’ve been with them through rough times and they help me out, and I help them
Maybe not necessary to know but They hardly compliment me, but compliment themselves.
Also when I get fed up with it and tell them to quit they say “It’s just a joke”
So reddit, AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 4,
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wAb19WtLGLb9he7AQld2lX3E15sNwW0l | adeja2 | {
"description": "making my girlfriend choose me or her Housemate",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For Making My Girlfriend Choose Me Or Her Housemate? | Hey all! I have been feeling quite conflicted about the current situation my girlfriend and I are in.
TLDR at the bottom.
AITA for basically giving my girlfriend (25) an ultimatum, either be with me or remain living with her housemate. Some back story is she has been living with her housemate for 7 years now (Male 33) who does not have his shit together. He can barely hold a job down, struggles to pay rent and bills on time, takes money from my girlfriend, owes her over $2000, gets extremely frustrated with her when she spends the day/night with me, does not do basic chores because he is incredibly lazy, and just overall a shitty person.
​
A couple weeks ago my girlfriend and I were out the whole day, had lunch, dinner etc and I dropped her home that night. She then messaged me saying that her housemate was extremely angry that she had been out with me the whole day instead of him, and gets even more angry when he knows I have been in the house as it is 'his house' and 'doesn't wan't anyone else to visit' despite his name not being on the lease at all and barely paying rent/bills.
​
It has gotten to a point where I feel like I am tiptoeing around her housemate to be with my girlfriend, as she does not want any conflict between us two. I respect her wish but this is not how I envisioned our relationship going at all. It has been going on for months like this.
​
I have told her yesterday that she either kicks him out or risk losing me, because I cannot have someone so toxic and disrespectful dictate our relationship. She is an amazing girl and just hates conflict, so she is worried of losing his friendship etc.
​
AITA for telling her it is either him or me? I honestly do not want to continue having him around in her life for the above reasons, I feel confident about that, but I also feel bad about putting her in a situation to choose.
​
TLDR - Girlfriend has horrible housemate, gets angry when she is with me instead of him. Told her she either kicks him out or risks losing me as a boyfriend. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
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} | RIGHT |
uwVXUiedah19MzL0tMg4NBgsdw7XrZc2 | apa5of | {
"description": "being mad at a girl for pretending to be my friend for 3 months while slowly stealing my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being mad at a girl for pretending to be my friend for 3 months while slowly stealing my boyfriend | Ok, so this past school year has been a mess. I know a lot of this I’m going to tell u is me being a asshole already. Sorry in advance about way too much detailed than needed I’m really nervous and this is my first time posting on Reddit and I’m also on mobile.
My now ex: B
Ex’s new gf: K
Ex’s best friend: J
Ex’s best friend’s gf: E
Best friend: A
Any names used is not the real name of person just theses are the main people.
Last school year was my first year of high school. I was in the band and I met B well we started dating as soon as the school year started basically. I became friends with E and J hated me. He had a crush on B.
Before I even met K she gave me a dirty look because she had a crush on B. B and I would poke each other in the hallway and that was out weird way of flirting. That was even before we got together.
I met K at the homecoming pep rally and I didn’t talk to her really, mostly because I didn’t know her gender and didn’t want to misgender her.
Now the first question if I am an asshole is with me and my best friend A.
B and I have been dating for about a month at this point. Well we were at Beta. If you don’t know what Beta Club is just look it up.
A didn’t go to school with us, but I went to school with him on and off my whole life. I dated A in 7th grade to piss off a girl that no one liked, but followed around my friend group. B already knew this. When Beta came around I haven’t seen A for like 3 months. Well at beta I was hanging out with B and Mad. We met up with A and went to Hot Topic because we are just emo teens. Well I was talking to A and just walking. Well I accidentally left B and Mad. They got mad. B got mad and I apologized.
This isn’t where it ends with the story with A.
After Beta was over we went back to school and everything was fine. A and I didn’t really text before Beta, so we never really texted after Beta either.
I don’t remember how long after Beta, but B was walking me to 6th period.
B told me that J was cheating on E with K.
Well I was shook.
Well long story short. E and J were still together. K was acting like she did nothing wrong and was writing edgy poems about me and E.
Yes I did ask B not to talk to her because I didn’t trust her.
Yes I did ask B to save there msges on snap because she could easily make it look like he said something he didn’t.
Yes I hated K.
K and her best friend at one point tried to FaceTime B after he said I’m getting in the shower.
K and I also argued a lot, but just stopped talking to each other.
Yes I know I was a asshole for most of that.
Well lets fast forward to this past summer and now we are back on the topic of A.
This past summer B had family issues and wasn’t able to talk to me a lot. His cousin was a ass to me from Easter till the school year ended and because of that our relationship was already damaged.
Well A and I started talking a lot more. We talked about Star vs the forces of evil, Steven universe, and other cartoon stuff.
Well later. When I say later I mean about a week ago. I found out that B was upset about this because I would talk about A and I acting like idiots on FaceTime and ya having the time of our life.
The start of this school year was a something. I found out my grandmother had a spot of cancer (she is ok now) and she was going to have a surgery to get it removed. Well my dad was like ya I’m moving down to Florida to take care of your grandma after her surgery.
Well this hit me hard because I feel like my dad is the only adult I can talk to.
Well the school year started well I had like 4 classes with K. Well I decided to msg her and be like yo I’m cool and shit. Well later I did apologize to K and we were cool.
She became one of my literal best friends. I told her everything. I don’t open up to people a lot, but I opened up to her about family stuff. Like stuff I only told B. I even told her about me knowing I been a asshole to B because I been mad at the world. She even told me stuff that you wouldn’t just tell anyone.
Well this past Beta A LOT of shit went down. The only thing that matters is that B got mad because we hanged out with A. I thought he overreacting. I also kicked J out of the hotel room because K was uncomfortable with him being in there, so I told him to get out I said something that was true about J, but pissed off B’s cousin.
Well B and I broke up. Now let’s get into the real shit that happened with me and K.
K WAS FUCKING TELLING B ONLY THE BAD SHIT I SAID ABOUT B. Ok every time when I was venting about B I always said at the end that I still love him though.
I knew K still had a crush on B btw. I trusted that she wouldn’t do anything.
Ok well about a week after B and I broke up K just completely stopped talking to me. Well her and her friend H was talking and I found out that K was talking to B.
I was playing dumb with B and was like oh who’s K talking to. He was like I will tell you later. He told me while we were texting when we got home. I died laughing. Less than a week later they were dating and less than a month after we broke up.
Let me note. K didn’t come to me and say hey me and B are talking or hey me and B are dating.
I found out they were dating because my friend Kay told me.
If she told me they were talking I would have actually give her some best friend advice and said listen I’m not going to say I’m not mad and I won’t be salty, but bitch it’s been less than a month me and him have been broken up if you want to make sure your not a rebound wait after New Years.(this was in mid December)
Well now it’s been 3 months since B and I broke up and well I’m not as sad that we broke up I’m more mad that K pretended to be my friend for 3 months.
Literally B will still msg me to “tell me off” about telling people that she pretended to be my friend.
Even now K is telling B lies about me.
Am I a asshole for thinking that B was over reacting over A?
My opinion: I can see both sides
Am I a asshole for being mad that K pretended to be my friend and still my bf?
My opinion: no
Tbh I left a lot of details, so if you don’t understand something ask.
I may do more post about this break up because sis there is so much. | HISTORICAL | {
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UEXSklCQV75GnaOEXskOHJmhFjOpoobD | b8faq4 | {
"description": "telling a friend an April fools joke that ended up me losing one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a friend an April fools joke that ended up me losing one of my friends | I'm sorry for the title don't know how to title it
So it was late at 3 AM I have this friend from Malaysia I was bored and realized it was April fools and I thought it would be funny! if I used her icon and name and pretended to be her from the future. it went horribly wrong https://i.imgur.com/0Jqk7zC.png she hasn't responded to me since. I got worried so I told some mates what happened and I should have been smarter. to make a long story short this friend was in a bit of pickle with the friend I told the joke too. after I told them what happened they got really upset and told me were done and how I made them uncomfortable and how I was bad. and they blocked me.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
7Ss7amsl1V66KLbebMYbVtIqIUURv9B4 | axds3m | {
"description": "wanting my parents to pay for stuff",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my parents to pay for stuff? | I’m a 16 year old male in high school. My parents kicked me out of the house a couple months ago after my siblings and I called CPS on their abuse. I didn’t absolutely nothing evil or wrong, I merely wanted to get my parents to stop being awful people.
Fast forward to the present day. I’m going to New York with my orchestra, and France with my French class. I don’t want my parents to pay the full trip, I merely want them to contribute. However, I doubt this will occur, as my parents have stopped paying my high school tuition. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8C3ZT09ZLCmrDZghXLYRL1YtZUkCOYC6 | avjqee | {
"description": "not letting my ex-gf put me in drag makeup",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not letting my ex-gf put me in drag makeup? | So I had been dating this girl for about a year and a half. We live together and have recently broken up. She broke up with me but I would say she is taking it all a bit harder. She has asked for two weeks with me to "do things she always thought we would have time for".
For the record I don't think this was a great move but I have done it because she still has to move stuff out etc.
We have about a week left at this point and we have done a lot of the stuff on her list. Then she brought up doing drag makeup on me. Now in the past I said we could do it one day. But we were a couple then and to be honest even then I would only have been doing it for her, which is something you do for a partner if you love them, I feel.
When she brought it up I said I wasn't up for it and she got very upset and it kind of turned into a fight from there because , well we broke up for a reason.
But I feel like an asshole because I've upset her, but she has a track record of getting upset about things and refusing to be happy until I give in and I feel like I shouldn't have to budge on this because we aren't even together anymore.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rbK5bazktDKVQEwjtwgk1ylL1CAP2YDq | b8v7k4 | {
"description": "wanting to meet on campus to return someone's Id",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to meet on campus to return someone’s ID? | Some context:
I’m a freshman girl in college and I went to a frat party on Saturday. Guy in question goes to the same school as me, is a sophomore who lives off campus.
Went to a frat party with some friends this past weekend and found a guy’s driver’s license. I found him on Instagram and he says it’s his, and he wants me to come to his apartment building (20 min walk from my dorm and in a pretty sketchy part of the city) and drop it off in the lobby with the doorman, because he’s out of town at the moment. Problem is, I have nobody to come with me and I really don’t feel all that comfortable spending 40 minutes walking through Los Angeles alone to meet somebody I don’t know. I asked him if he would want to meet me on campus since we both go to the same school, and he’s pretty pissed that I won’t bring it to him. Am I the asshole for not feeling comfortable walking alone through the city to give him his lost ID back? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VZgWOyPj3aOhjjKUtRuLBtzw02YBjF7h | b316kc | null | AITA for my reaction to the couch? | Some background. I live with my parents. Within 12 months I will certainly be moving out. My parents are very kind loving people, always trying to do what is best for me.
Some more specific background. We used to have a couch. I hated it. The details don’t really matter, but it was not comfortable, difficult to use, and I simply hated it. Not long ago that couch came to the end of its life and needed to be replaced. My parents asked my opinion. I made it very clear, my preference is that we do not get a couch like the one we have. I explained my reasoning, how it hurts my back, how I can’t relax, I must have gone on for hours.
I asked simply that when I new couch is picked I have the opportunity to look at it before it is purchased. They assured me this would be the case.
Well you all know where this is going. They bought the exact same couch without asking my opinion. Not similar, identical. Oh well, I’m an adult, they are adults, it’s their money, their house, their couch, their choice.
Of coarse there’s more to the surprise. This wasn’t a new couch for the basement, it was a new couch for me for when I move out...
The final piece of relevant info is that my *parents* did not choose the couch, my dad did. Realistically, he doesn’t care who likes it. He pays for the couch, he picks the couch. I’m sure he has his reasons. On the other hand, my mom absolutely would have chosen a couch that I like. Regardless of if she liked it, she would pick the one she knows I want. But she doesn’t make the decisions.
So here’s the AITA. My mom tries so hard to be positive. She keeps asking me if I like the nice new couch. When she sees me sitting in it she wants to have a nice happy positive convo “oohhhh enjoying the new couch, that’s going to look so good in your new place”. In response I am very negative. I remind her that I hate the couch, and I’m leaving it when I move out, and if they don’t have room then I’ll throw it out.
She’s clearly really upset when I say these things. She really wants me to like the couch. She really wants me to take something she bought for me with me to my new place when I move out.
On the other hand, I made it so clear that I hate the couch before they bought it. They completely ignored my requests, and now I’m stuck with the couch I don’t like.
AITA for reacting the way I am? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
c0EMvNFtzz0dLX3FpZ62c1JtdP17b6ej | b8o5aq | {
"description": "not telling a friend that her boyfriend was dating someone else",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not telling a friend that her boyfriend was dating someone else? | So this involves three people. A friend of mine who I've known for about eight years, Jess. We're not really close but we went school together, had overlapping friend groups and lately we were both chaperones in the same camps.
Then there's Cindy. She's a close friend of mine who studies with me.
And lastly there's Brad. He's Jess' boyfriend, they're together for 5 years.
Brad and Jess had some rough patches a few months ago and got separated for a few weeks. During this time Brad met Cindy. They started going out and Cindy was head over heels for him. They were seeing each other for about three months when I met Jess in a group setting. She casually mentioned that she and Brad were back together. The thing is I knew that next Saturday Cindy had planned a date with Brad. So I told Cindy. She was so heartbroken but she's my friend and I couldn't have watched her dating that lying idiot (he told her he had broken up with Jess for good). Now the thing is, I haven't told Jess that Brad and Cindy were dating while she and Brad were already back together. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know about it. I feel like as an outside person it isn't any of my business. Jess is a friend but not that close and I don't want to be caught in the middle of something. But a friend of mine said that I'm an asshole for telling Cindy about Brad's capers but not Jess. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
wruODtGxnXdOvq3Gv4ywFUfxOpnyYbVw | ardchn | {
"description": "telling kids to move so I can skate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For telling kids to move so I can skate. | So, I was skating by this little 5 stair like 2 blocks from my house, and there was already like 4 kids playing (like 3-8 year olds) with pool noodles on the other side. They were not near the stairs but after I started skating it they started to get close, and I didn't mind much. But, I almost hit one and I asked them if they could play away from the stairs. The little kid says yeah. But, after an hour or so their mom comes out and tells me that I can't tell their kids where to play. I said I just asked them to avoid the stairs so I don't hurt them. And she said that I can't skate here, and they're signs that say so (there were no signs). And that I'm at fault. AMITA? Should I should've just let her kids play? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Xvv7lfUJdvXhVkcR1GLiWvSMUXp1E1du | aiwq31 | {
"description": "not telling my friend that his girlfriend and I hooked up before they started dating",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not telling my friend that his girlfriend and I hooked up before they started dating | Okay, so title says it all but now for the story. I’ve known this friend (We’ll call him Jake) for about 13 years now and I consider him practically my brother however I’m worrying that I’m doing the wrong thing right now. Basically him, I and my girlfriend at the time would all go to fires during the summertime which is where his future gf (we’ll call her Jess) comes into play. About a week or two into the summer my girlfriend dumps me and I take it pretty bad, like I stop going to the fires and basically just shutting myself out until Jake comes over and forces me to go to the next fire. We go and arrive early so we are the second group there and sit down. The next person to show up is Jess and her friends so she sits down right next to me, throughout the whole night we’re flirting and just really hitting it off, one thing leads to another and I offer her a ride home and we make out a bit. Through the week we talk and blah, blah, blah which leads to us hooking up, I’m her first which is important later. After however we stop talking as much and about 2 weeks later I get back together with my ex. Later in the week We go to the next fire and discover that Jake and Jess are now dating also which is only surprising to me because Jess and I are the only ones who know about hooking up. Anyway, a few months go by which leads us to tonight, she came into my work and was very flirty to the point co-workers noticed.
So, TLDR ; AITA for not telling my best friend about hooking up with his now current gf who believes he’s her first | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
a5VzU4ZSvpM4nz5iNNjSBtp9IuPCPGHG | b7hciz | {
"description": "requesting a refund from a crappy gas station",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for requesting a refund from a crappy gas station? | I was recently on a long road trip and found myself running dangerously low on gas. I was forced to stop at a very sketchy & run down backwoods gas station; and was the only person there, save for a towering, intimidating skinhead-looking guy manning the attached store. I decided that I was only going to fill my tank up part of the way (I was going to stop when it hit about a quarter tank of gas); while not a gas snob, I had some reservations about the quality of this place’s gas as a result of its setting, and only wanted to have to use the minimum amount to safely get to my destination.
When I had pumped about a quarter tank, I wanted to stop and pay, but had some trouble figuring out how to do this. The screen directed me to press a specific key when finished pumping, but there was no key on the screen that I could find that fit the description provided. I tried and tried to figure it out, but had to give up and ask the guy inside for help. He came outside, picked up the pump, and continued fueling up my tank.
I stopped him, and re-explained that I’m **not** having trouble figuring out how to fuel; I’m done fueling, and I need help paying. He nodded his head as though he understood, but stuck the pump back in, and continued fueling. I stopped him again, explained myself again, only to have him do the same thing **again**, and then again after another interruption/explanation. Every time I was kind, patient, and repeated my question so clearly that I think a 4 year old could easily have understood. I finally asked to talk to his manager, and he said he was out. Feeling that I was going nowhere with him, I just gave up and said, in a frustrated and obviously sarcastic tone, “Fine. Whatever. Fill it up all the damn way”, which he did.
I don’t know what his issue was. He was clearly a native English speaker, and didn’t appear to be deaf/hard of hearing. He was either 1) mentally disabled/slow/lacking in comprehension, or (the more likely option) 2) willingly ignored me, knowing his gas station would make more $. I called the gas station the next day, was connected to the manager’s voicemail, and explained my situation. I requested a refund of $30 (the difference between the cost of the gas I ended up being given and the cost of the gas I had **intended** to put into my tank). The extra gas I was given got me around just fine, but I had made it clear to the guy multiple times **I** **didn’t want it**, and only gave in because there was no other option. Sort of like if a pizza place showed up to your door with a bunch of extra crap you didn’t order, refused to take it back, and charged you for it.
The manager never called me back, so I called again, was finally connected to him, and explained things again. He was very rude, calling me “entitled”, saying I should move on with my life, and accused me of mocking the intelligence of his employee (I most certainly didn’t); and made clear he was not refunding me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
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