id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
L9kh1HIs29zB6CqrePqKzz2sHvt7Uls5 | a0zv4b | {
"description": "sending Mother in Law to Assisted Living",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for sending Mother In Law to Assisted Living | Little context: My wife has EDS and extreme chronic pain so she only has a limited number of "spoons" every day.
My mother in law has suffered a couple strokes and she ended up falling from a balcony after it collapsed and landing on concrete. Because of this she ended up suffering alot of injuries including her right arm "dying" and becoming unusable. Because of this she can't live on her own, can barely go to the bathroom on her own and has 2-3 doctor's appointments every week with a variety of different doctors.
I work 60 hour weeks and my wife is left to take care of two kids and her mother on a daily basis. Through the past two months or so my wife confessed to me that she doesn't believe she can keep up with her chronic pain acting up and her depression flaring up greatly. She feels exhausted every day and feels she cannot even put any effort into our relationship because of this.
I made the comment and she agreed to set up her mother with SSI because she is physically and mentally disabled now. Then once she gets SSI to get her set up with Medicaid so she can get assisted living and move out and have a nurse come in to her place and help take care of her.
Since bringing this up the Mother In Law claims we are being assholes and we don't love her anymore. That we are just abandoning her and trying to get rid of her so we don't have to deal with her anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LLNCsUfD7R3lFyZfKRITUwjXxdv8sM66 | 9tg14x | {
"description": "telling his gf to gtfo",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AiTA for telling his gf to gtfo? | I dated this guy and luckiky we remained great friends afterwards. He constantly messages me about his new gf and how she restricts him. He is 30 and went back to school. Idiot took a week away from his studies to give her attention. A week later they are over.
She has 2 kids, but doesnt understand his loyalty towards her. He truly does love her and it hurts because he is constantly talking about her.
Every time he streams shes on his ass anytime another woman comments. Been there even tho im a married woman, she attacks.
As an ex and a good friend am i the asshole for telling her to fuck off? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
Cz1O9Nmp3kthoSSZ6uLL34svguJ8L1RF | axbxgk | null | AITA Friend Says I'm Mistreating My GF | We are all in our late 20s. GF of 5 years, friend of 12 years. Friend thinks I am mistreating my girlfriend because she has never said no to sex in our relationship. He says that due to a situation that happened early on in our relationship, it pressures her to never say no. I disagree. He says I should talk to her, I say it is pointless.
​
Start of relationship: She was way out of my league. My friend tried asking her out and got rejected, my friend is better looking than I am so I had lost all hope. But eventually from working together for over a year we got to know each other and I found out we really had great chemistry and she was a great person from what I could tell. I eventually got the courage to ask her out. She said yes. And I wish that was the end of the story... But that is not how real life works right? We had sex about once a day and were dating for about a month at this point. Until one day she "caught" me watching porn. She blew up. Got extremely angry, yelling. Said that was cheating. She said that there was no discussion to be had and that if I ever do it again, I was a cheater. She said if I had any sexual urges that I had to come to her and her only. She said she is down to do it at any time of the day, just ask and sex happens. She was very up in my face about it and did not let me get a word in. I recognized this as a huge red flag, getting so angry over something pretty insignificant. So I decided I would break up with her. But I was going to wait a few weeks till I got bored as this was my first time having sex with a girl who looks like a model. I have yet to see a girl who looks better than her. I could not pass off the opportunity so quickly. I wanted to have a little fun. I told my friend about this situation. He said no girl who looks like that is 100% stable. He said I had a good idea and that this was a once in a life time opportunity and that I had to take advantage of it before it was over. I agreed.
​
Weeks went by, haven't watched porn, planning to leave the relationship. But I started regaining my feelings for her. I also noticed, that after 3 months (2 months after the incident) that she was not bluffing, I was able to come to her for sex at any time. At this point I was asking her for sex about 3-5 times a day, since we had the same job our schedules were the same so we spent a lot of time together. It was almost 4 months into the relationship. I decided at this point since she was honoring her word about being able to fulfill my needs. I would stick around, I had stopped having urges to watch porn since sex in general is better than porn (in my opinion) and she was also as available to me as porn ever was. We have the same interests, get along great, love her.
​
We are still doing it about 3-4 times a day, never has said no. She is enthusiastic every time. She might initiate once a week, more or less. I have never said no either. Friend still says she is being pressured. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
wk34jx2xBEQr3mDP3XBot8qSWK1LCQIl | ar6t24 | {
"description": "being late to work too make times",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being late to work too make times? | I’m a graduate student with an internship in the public sector. Yesterday I found out that my boss had called my department head and said I’d been doing good work, but I had excessive absences and tardiness. Here are all the instances of me being absent or tardy this semester:
Jan 14: I bought a parking pass for school and I had to go to the office the first day of classes and pick it up. This was the only day I could do it because I was working or in class 9-5 every day when the school’s offices were open.
Jan 18: I forgot my badge and key at home, so I went back and picked it up. This is the only time this has happened, and I’m now diligent about keeping my badge and key in my purse and checking before I leave.
Feb 4 & 5: I had a cold that was bad enough that I went to the doctor to make sure I didn’t have the flu.
Feb 12: I was six minutes late to work. No excuses, I’d slept through my alarm. I have trouble sleeping and I scheduled an appointment with a sleep doctor March 1 to make sure this doesnt happen again.
Thats it. I’ve known she’s very strict on time—she once told me “if you’re eight minutes late, if you’re two minutes late, you’re late.” But I’ve worked my ass off for this internship, turned everything in on time and I’ve gone above and beyond on the work. Each time I was late, I stayed late to make up the time. I’m actually ahead on my hours.
My biggest fear in life is being a disappointment and to hear that she called my department head and he had to talk with me about it sent me into a panic attack. I was very apologetic, took responsibility, but I do wonder if this was really enough to call my department head over? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
doPZvShts1vNqRc3ymQ1Or8WGV1mgI1Y | a4rc9b | null | AITA in this breakup? | Relationship of 1.3 years. About a year in due to me feeling as though my needs are not being met I broke up with her. Got back together the day after and then she broke up with me a few weeks ago.
We still care for and love each other but because of the break up 3 months ago her family hates me now. She kept us getting back together a secret from them for this time and her anxiety and other issues got worse until she broke up with me claiming it is because of her family and that doesn’t want to fight them about it.
However we both suffer from mental illnesses, anxiety and depression. I also have adhd. Medication changes made things difficult on my end. The break up I did wasn’t done well, it was a bit sudden and I know it hurt her. She said she forgave me though and things were getting better.
The past three months have been difficult for both of us. Her indecisiveness and unwillingness to talk about our problems made things harder. I tried my best to be patient during this time and thought I was in the wrong the whole time.
During this time she threatened breaking up at least once, broke up with me over text during a panic attack but we got back together. That one hurt but I can understand.
She also refused to confront her family issues and talk to them about the situation. This meant she wasn’t able to come over or spend much time with me. It made things weird.
We tried a break, that was supposed to be for a month. She contacted me after a week or so. She had gone to a party and felt bad because there were so many couples. All the stuff she said she threw out the window just because she felt bad and couldn’t make up her mind, again.
Finally she broke up with me suddenly, again. This time was legit. I’ve been struggling and probably talking to her too much. She was supportive and I know she still cares for me. I told her that I couldn’t stay in contact with her and that I was angry that she wouldn’t fight for us regarding her family. She unfollowed me on Instagram but did not block me anywhere. She also did not respond.
I felt bad about it later, I didn’t want to leave things off in anger. I texted her and tried to be honest and forgiving, she hasn’t responded to that either yet. IATA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
g1Lksn42mI318SVUdvSTaipP6fDvuAzf | at1k5b | {
"description": "keeping Quiet",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA- Keeping Quiet | So tonight someone called our store (fast food) and claimed to be our store owner or some corporate something or another and essentially had my manager have a coworker put a few hundred dollars of cash onto gift cards and then had that coworker call him and give him the gift card numbers and tear them up. he claimed we'd have an audit in the morning and he would call back soon after our coworker returned but never did. it's obvious to me we got scammed, but what's worse is I pulled up an article of a similar incident happening at one of our other locations in another state so now I'm pretty damn sure we just got bamboozled. AITA if I don't send her the article and just let it play out so she doesn't worry herself all night until the morning? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5FSTkuaTCqxp6FJooAfLtUKcxlyToePB | azkbze | {
"description": "refusing to plan someone's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for refusing to plan someone’s birthday party? | So work with this guy who I cannot stand. I have been stuck sitting in the cubicle next to hm for almost two years now. For context, we are both guys. I’m 28 and he is a few years younger. He is very annoying. He has this super smug personality and is constantly trying to prove to everyone how smart he is. He is constantly telling awkward jokes that only he thinks are funny. He doesn’t pick up on social cues and often makes people around him feel very uncomfortable with comments he makes. I just generally don’t really like him.
To keep things civil at work and because I am forced to sit next to him, I’ve always been somewhat kind to him, but not overly friendly. He is also the type that is so desperate for people to like him and makes many people in the office uncomfortable by trying to force them into a friendship with him.
Part of me feels bad for him because I know he is probably just insecure and lonely, but every time I try and give him a chance I am just reminded by how much he annoys me and how little I enjoy his company.
So last year on my birthday I come in to work and this kid had gone out and bought me a cake, a card, balloons, and a $50 gift card. It was way too much and I tried to give the gift card back but he wouldn’t accept it. I knew he was only giving it to me so he could later try and blackmail me into hanging out with him.
Sure enough he has been trying to convince me to hang out after work like every week for a drink and I really don’t want to and I say no every time. It’s really awkward because he just won’t take the hint. He is relentless.
Then he starts buying me lunch all the time. Like he asks me if I want to order food and I tell him I don’t want anything. Then he just orders me something anyway and leaves it on my desk. When I try to give him money for it he refuses.
I just hate feeling like I owe this guy something when I don’t want any of this stuff he is giving to me, let alone his friendship.
So his birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and he literally came up to me yesterday and asked me to plan his birthday party. He told me he wants to go out after work with a bunch of co workers and he wants me to plan everything and get everyone together
I told him no. I said trust me you do not want to give me this responsibility, you will only be disappointed.
He took this very poorly...like I thought he was almost going to start crying. Then I remembered all the stuff he did for me on my birthday and I am starting to wonder if I’m just being a dick. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
G6DkrDAoIL1i8778qerzt9q082GRdB7I | b5pls7 | {
"description": "lying to the friend I play with the most to play once with my other friend who I don't want to play with",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for lying to the friend I play with the most to play once with my other friend who I don't want to play with? | I usually play with the first friend almost all the time on Xbox on games like FIFA, COD, etc and he recently gave me some games to play with him and his friend outside school.
However, I have this other friend who also has an Xbox who sometimes asks if I want to play with him; I usually try and not play with him or get out of the situation to play with my first friend, as I spend more time with him and have more fun. So yesterday, he messages me to help me with his account while I'm playing with my main friend, so after I finish a game I message him back. He wanted to play with me, so after a brief attempt at trying again, I obliged so he could stop asking me.
So I told my main friend I ahve to go do something, but he was confused at why I suddenly had to go, so I made an excuse to go. After an hour of playing with the other friend, I said I had to go. I then played with my main friend for around an hour or 2 before I went to bed.
The next day, the other friend tells my friend about how we played togetther for a bit (us three go to the same school and they are in the same class), and now he's angry that I lied to him. I've tried to tell him I only did it so I could play with him, as he knows we always play together and he rarely plays with the other friend too (mainly because he doesn't like him after the other friend called his team crap).
I was intending to tell the other friend that I can't play for a while since I have to concentrate on exams and revise so I can play a bit more with the other friend, but after telling the main friend the reason he won't listen to me.
I know I should've been honest, but If I had told him the reason he would have been angry a bit for ditching him.
So AITA in this situation? TL;DR I lied to my friend to play with my other friend for a short time just to tell that other friend that I won't play with him often | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
ABwGOqU41C4rP2zyvjHQ9ewYZhMKtx62 | b3nksm | {
"description": "turning the tv on when my bf has to get up in less than 3 hours",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | WIBTA if I turned the tv on when my bf has to get up in less than 3 hours? | I can’t sleep and am crazy bored. The only tv we have is in the bedroom. I can keep the volume low, but there’s not much I can do about the light. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
WQqFCZoxGk83wVyiGczESIqVGDdfFWhI | aqbet6 | {
"description": "not getting my brothers gf a cheap laptop",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not getting my brothers gf a cheap laptop | Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a computer or IT professional. I just know my way around a computer.
So about a week ago I was asked by my brother's gf to help find a laptop for university. I was given a list of specs and a budget. The laptops that the university recommended were under spec'd and over priced and from my experience, sometimes buying second hand or demo models give you better specs, quality and value.
So the university recommended spending roughly 1800 USD ( I'm not from USA), which was more than she was willing to spend. I was asked to find something at around the 1200 USD price point, and so I started to check around.
I sent several options that were way better spec'd and closer to the 1000 USD price, but received no response.
Fast forward to this week, I was sent a picture of the new laptop. Under spec'd and coming in at the 700 USD price point.
Now I feel like they've gotten the impression that I was trying to mislead them by recommending a higher priced laptop even though it was had better specs than what was required and was lower than their budget amount. Kinda bummed out about it.
TL;DR was asked to find 1200 USD laptop, I recommended a good option at 1000 USD, they found a terrible one at 700 USD and may have the impression I was trying to mislead them.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UFIDeFpyCX6Dfn9gFGrOHHKmSuDVfn6y | b94cxd | {
"description": "not giving my carpoolers a cheaper price",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving my carpoolers a cheaper price? | I have a few people I regularly carpool with. Some via the Waze app, some just text me and ask for a ride. The Waze folks, I get paid via the app, the others just Venmo me a few dollars per ride.
I’m up from with them that I’m doing it mostly to get the HOV lane for the drive home, but the extra money covers gas, for which I’m thankful.
One of the regular riders asked if a coworker could join us, and offered to have her pay the regular rate. Never asked for a discount for herself.
For them to take transit would be ~1.5X what they pay me, and an Uber would be 2-4X, so I know they’re getting a price break riding with me.
Should I be offering a break to folks once I get enough people to get into the HOV lane, or am I an asshole to keep taking their money?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
I2Wr8ZdaGQZ9XSAy7AveTe0FUDK86d9y | ag8gt6 | {
"description": "not having intercourse with my so for weeks",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not having intercourse with my SO for weeks? | I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and when we first started dating I was a virgin and not on birth control, so we could do intercourse fairly easily without about an hour of foreplay prep. I started BC about 3 months into the relationship, and since then, my libido has just been absolutely crushed and I can rarely find myself able to get aroused by anything.
He often guilt trips(?) me, saying "it's been 5+ weeks!" and I feel bad and say we will try tomorrow but it never ends up happening and he starts to get annoyed. He tells me he doesn't think I'm obligated to have sex with him and he understands, but why get annoyed? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 15,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
nr5CRqBkRN7mBjgp8TeHqMMGfbuhwQ6i | an9a4e | {
"description": "cutting my \"friend\" off",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for cutting my "friend" off? | I started my Erasmus experience in October 2018. I met 2 guys and a girl of my same country but from different cities (they are all from the same city expect from me that I live far away from them) and we became friends. Especially with the girl, we just clicked, you know when you meet someone that thinks like you and you don't even have to finish a sentence because they are thinking the same? It was our case. Soon enough I got intimate with her. The problem was the she had a boyfriend. She cheated on him for 2 months with me, she never told him anything. After a while she began to tell me that she loved me and wondering how she would have done without me when the Erasmus would have been over. During the 2 months I always told her that I couldn't see her as a possible girlfriend because she never told her boyfriend the truth and I could never trust her in a relationship, especially in a long distance one. During the winter break we both came home for Christmas and although what she said to me she had no problem sleeping with him and posting stories on Instagram with him. It was at this moment that I realized that I was in love with her and I was suffering a lot. After the winter break she told me that she chose to stay with his boyfriend and this crushed me, I could barely go to the same class with her but after a week I accepted it and managed to be friendly with her. But after a week or two we became intimate again. I told her that I accepted the fact that we couldn't be together because we want different things anyway, she wants to get married and have children in 2 years, she is 24 and I'm 22 and thinking about these things is just too early for me. I told her that I would be happy if she found someone to start a family with but that I couldn't be her friend if she did that with her current boyfriend. Yesterday she met him (she has a long distance relationship with him) and today she told me that she didn't leave him so I basically said goodbye to her and to never text me again, the reason is that I'm scared of what she could do to me, a "friend", after what I saw her doing to her boyfriend for months, I told her that I don't have friends that I don't trust and of course there are still feelings involved because I'm not over her yet. Another thing is that her bf started to suspect about me and I just don't want to encourage this enormous lie, I tend to be as honest as possible in my life and I think that it's not possible to have a healthy friendship with her anymore.
So am I the asshole for cutting her off? I didn't block her or whatever, I just told her to never text or call me in any case, even if someday she had to leave her bf because she already made a choice and I told her months ago that I would have done this.
Thoughts?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
Ir9cDzmETQWCVicsH9hdff4fxktlkzD7 | 9ynbuk | {
"description": "calling a gay guy out for using his sexuality as an excuse to say vulgar things",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for calling a gay guy out for using his sexuality as an excuse to say vulgar things? | This happened about 4 years ago but my life hasn't been the same since. It has kept me from going to the bar that had been my only social outlet for years. This is because the guy in question is one of the very high status bartenders there.
It was the early evening. Only me, the bartender I had a crush on, and the gay guy, also a bartender there but not working at the time, and on the patron side of the bar. I had been bumming cigarettes from the bartender. Eventually she asks me if I would walk across the street to buy her a pack. I was going to, but acting like I wasn't too thrilled.
Then I see the off the clock bartender start to walk up. I had already noticed from prior interactions with him and mutual friends that he liked to say vulgar over the top things to his girl friends. It was his gimmick. And he would always make a show out of it. And they seemed to enjoy it.
As he was walking towards us, I knew it was coming. Something vulgar. Something only he could say. I could tell he knew the situation.
"Oh you should totally buy her a pack of smokes! She can blow smoke rings out of her pussy!"
There it was. True to form. She playfully agreed with his sentiment. I said there you again with your get out of jail free card. He said, aw are you mad. I didn't say anything. He said, aw he's mad! Then he did something that I thought was a show off of his social status and meant to humiliate anyone who did not like him. Something meant to infantilize me.
He pulled out his phone saying, he's mad! Snapchat! It looked like he was taking pictures of me to post on his snapchat. I was very taken aback. I said what are you doing?? Please don't take pictures of me. He said, aw he's madder! It seemed like he was enjoying how he could take additional pictures of me more upset.
After he eventually put his phone away, I just stared at him in disbelief for a couple minutes as he sat at the bar a few chairs away. The bartender was washing dishes with her back turned I think. I later end up walking with the bartender to the gas station across the street and buy her a pack of smokes. I expressed how mad I was that the guy took pictures of me like he did. She, like all his girl friends, found his vulgar gimmick endearing. She said, aw he just wanted to be seen with me.
I return to the bar a few days later. This time he's behind the bar. I sit down next to some regulars I'm friendly with. I ask for a beer. It ends up being a beer with a card suit underneath the cap, which if I guessed what it was, the beer would be free. I only knew this because the regulars I was sitting next to told me as he was opening bottle. So I made a guess.
Whatever it was I don't remember, but I do remember him making a show of my incorrect guess. He loudly said, Nope! And then slam dunked the cap into the trash next to him. The regulars I was friendly with laughed. I said, there you go, being an asshole to me again. He said, no sir, you were the asshole. I said what?? You took pictures of me saying oh he's mad! The girl sitting next me chimed in and said she didn't see any pictures of me posted on his snapchat, which did relieve me.
I then ask that he bring me my credit card receipt for the one beer I got, obviously saying I don't plan to order any more. I say to him and the regulars sitting by me I don't feel welcome here. He brings me my credit card receipt. I just sign it and leave, feeling completely rejected and shunned by the place that I loved. No one said anything as I left. His social status was and still is sky high. It was like they were on his side by default.
My social life never recovered. I deleted my Facebook about 2 years ago. Most of my friends on there I met at that bar. What hurt the most was my best friend who I met there and hung out with outside the bar eventually stopped calling to hang out.
For years now, when I get home from work, I drink a tall can of high alcohol 8 percent beer and take either melatonin or sleeping pills. I think I might as well, I no longer have a social life. I feel like that guy established I was the asshole and made all the bar patrons shun me. The handful of times I go back since this all happened about 4 years ago, I don't feel welcome.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
3vlBa4ODj9DCBzbPYTEwnknlLBAWO0IG | ap1yq0 | {
"description": "wanting more on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA for wanting more on my birthday? | I just turned 16 and my birthday is right at tax return time. I've always gotten really nice birthday presents...except for this year. 2 pairs of jeans, some cheap shirts (JCpennys) an xbox 360 game and Panda Express dinner. My little brother (11) got an xbox one, and $100 of games etc. I just asked my mom to order some small things on amazon and her response was "was your birthday not enough?" I feel cheated. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
FXpBt3QRavSRUY110VhSR10fFaPKpr4g | ag5c7m | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend's ex to back the fuck off",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I told my boyfriend's ex to back the fuck off? | So I (23f) have been with my boyfriend (27m) for almost 4 years. Throughout this time we have been bothered by his ex girlfriend from Highschool. The first time was just weeks after my boyfriend and I got together, when she texted him saying she missed him and the old times. He told her he wasnt interested. This happens over and over, she texts him, she confesses she still loves him, he rejects her, he blocks her number, she gets a new number. Again and again for three years.
Finally, my boyfriend just changes his number. Things go silent for a year, but last week she added him on linked in and sent a flirty message. I think the problem is he is too nice when he rejects her, just saying that he loves me and would like her to accept that. I have never gotten upset with him about this, because I know he's not cheating. However, I think enough is enough and I want to respond to her on linked in and politely but firmly explain that she needs to get over a relationship that ended 10 years ago and never contact my boyfriend again. Would I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6CLTjBfjxCi6sLAxHgilICOTZeXuTWbh | a4qqbt | {
"description": "not cheering up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not cheering up? | I (26M) recently got a bit upset after a conversation with my parents. It wasn’t much of a big deal, they just left me feeling slightly undervalued and a bit down.
When my girlfriend (25F) and I got home she could tell that I was upset and tried to comfort me. I realised that this feeling about my parents wasn’t particularly meaningful, and I would get over it after sleeping on it, but my girlfriend then got upset that she wasn’t able to successfully comfort me enough to stop me from being grumpy.
We end up getting into a minor argument because she had exhausted her efforts to try and cheer me up but I remain to be in a generally melancholic mood. My argument is that I feel I just need time to get over it and be cheery again, I can’t simply snap out of feeling a bit down. I suppose she might feel either like she is failing in what she might see as her role as my girlfriend to cheer me up, or perhaps she feels unappreciated herself by me and got frustrated. But I don’t think I can just decide to start being cheerful and forget about being upset with my parents. And I don’t want to just effectively lie to her and pretend that yes I am now all better even when I don’t feel it myself.
I can understand why she’d be frustrated, but AITA for not being able to just cheer up?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fJGdlFBOO0C6VVjmV3I4lnc1olfhCkv9 | apajs6 | {
"description": "stalking a little old lady",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I stalk a little old lady? | Sorry about the click-baity title, but it's a fair assessment of my intentions. Brace yourselves, it's a long one.
So last year, I finally built up enough funds to be able to buy a condo. I started looking, and I found a place. I made an offer above the listing price in cash, it was accepted immediately, and I called my lawyer, wrote a check, and thought that was that. But, I soon got a call from the seller (a woman who's in her mid 60s), telling me that someone else had shown interest in the place, and had made an offer above mine, and that she hadn't signed the contract yet, so I needed to make a higher offer if I still wanted the place. I backed out, and wished her luck, as I do not want to be in a bidding war, and hung up. Immediately, she called back, and confessed that she had made the whole thing up in an attempt to get a bit of extra money out of me, and begged me to come back. So I agreed, on the condition that she include the furniture with the condo, which she agreed to.
And then, she started requesting that she could keep a few select pieces. Just a few things here and there, and I agreed to each one. And then more. And then more. Finally, I'm left with literally just a pair of custom made barstools. But I'm still going for the condo because at this point, I've sunk too much money into my lawyer to amend the contract about a dozen times for her additional amendments, and I just want to move asap.
At this point, a full month has passed. This is important because there is currently a tenant in the place, paying about $2k a month- rent that would go into my pocket as soon as I own the place. Meaning, I've already lost $3k because of the seller's procrastination, plus the additional losses of the furniture promised, and the lawyer fees. One of the reasons the seller had such trouble selling was because she has a tenant in the place now, and no one wanted to take on the lease- luckily, I manage an apartment complex, so this was the opposite of a problem for me. However, the rent was why she kept delaying, and delaying; she wanted to milk as much money out of the deal as possible. (The tenant is awesome, in fact he's a friend of friends, so he's nothing to do with all of this- it's only the seller with whom I have an issue.)
My lawyer contacted the seller's lawyer, asking the seller to provide the seller's disclosure, which is standard procedure, especially since I wasn't asking for an inspection, as she had promised to provide one upon our initial agreement with the place- I had that in writing. She adamantly refused, so I backed out, again. She then provided the seller's disclosure, but I only came back in on the condition that I could have an inspection, since this behavior made me think she might be hiding something. The inspection set me back a bit, and revealed that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the place; same with the seller's disclosure. I don't know why she made me waste this additional money, although I suspect it was another way to waste time; at this point, it's been 2 months, so I'm effectively out that $4k that I expected in rent.
Now, we're in the final dregs, and I'm excited to go ahead and move my stuff in. I ask seller when she'll get her stuff out- and she doesn't want to take it out until March, 2 months after our expected contract signing. Now, that's fine by me, as long as she pays rent for the space that she's occupying (I said I'd be fine with like $100, seemed comparable to storage units in the area), as she would no longer own the property, and I would be liable for any damages caused by her stuff. She vehemently refuses to pay any rent, and told me that I had it wrong- that I would have to pay her rent for her to keep her stuff in my place... Yeah, I don't follow that logic either. Anyways, I told her to move her stuff out before we sign the contract, and she pulled the ultimate card: her mother is ill, bedridden, and seller cannot leave her mother's side. I said ok, fine, you can keep your shit in the place that I own, for free, for two months, preventing me from moving into my own place in a timely manner. She'd get her stuff out at the same time as the tenant would move out, so it didn't inconvenience me too much. It just added another half a month to the contract time. I'm out $5k, now.
Oh, and apparently, the master deed was written wrong- an issue that she was required by law to fix before listing the place for sale, or for rent. So, I had to get the deed amended, and purchase hella expensive title insurance. Please note- she refused to fix the issue herself, despite the fact that she could not legally sell the place as it was. Cost me another half month. $6k.
I then ask my lawyer when we're going to sign the contract. He gives me a date, in 2 weeks time. I ask why it can't be now. He tells me, and I quote, "Seller has left the country on vacation for two weeks". I ask where her mother is- you know, the bedridden mother whose side she could not leave for 2 hours to clear her shit out of my place. Apparently, the mom has been in hospice care this whole time. Ok. Great.
So, it's finally time to sign the contract. I'm sipping coffee with my lawyer, signing the papers, laughing about the crazy bitch, and then, we get a call. The seller wants my lawyer to draft an addendum to the contract- that she had already signed the day before- that I would not take her stupid barstools, and that I would not steal any of her furniture. Now, remember, my lawyer has done all of the work for all of the amendments to the contract, costing me way too much money; I have made all of the concessions- hers has yet to do anything, and she has yet to make a single concession. So my lawyer politely tells her to do it herself, and she finally does, and I sign it, because I'm done. I ask my lawyer about the keys, and he tells me that the seller will give them to me herself, according to the contract.
The money has already left my account. I own the condo, woohoo.
I contact the seller as soon as I'm out of the office, and she informs me that since she lives a few hours away, she can't give me the keys immediately. I tell her I'm actually headed that way this afternoon, for work, as the apartments I manage are in the area. She informs me that she has actually lost the keys to the condo, and as for the garage, the opener is programmed into her car- she doesn't have a fob. So, I cannot get in to the place that I own. I tell her to get a new fob programmed, and to find the keys. She tells me she doesn't know how, because she's just a helpless little old lady. I tell her I'm going to get a locksmith to put new keys in the place, and she tells me that's illegal- I kindly inform her that I own the goddamn place now, so it's very much legal. I told her that I would need her to come to the complex and open up the garage door, so that I could have somebody else program a fob for me, and she tells me she can't, until March, because of her mother (lol that again). I ask her what her plan was for giving the new owners access to the place that they would own when she listed the apartment, and she hung up on me.
I went to the tenant, to inform him I'd bought the place. He happily gives me a copy of his key and congratulates me on the apartment, but then tells me that seller had asked him to pay his rent for February early, and had told him that she was no longer going forward with the sale. I don't blame him for being a responsible tenant and listening to his former landlord, so I ask him to call her, and get the check back. Instead, she offers to- and I'm not joking- cash the check, and give me the cash, minus a 'processing fee'. I inform her that that would be against the contract, as that rent payment does not belong to her, despite her request for him to pay her early, as she is no longer the landlord. She starts screaming at me, telling me that I'm accusing her of stealing- I kindly remind her that she made me sign a paper saying I wouldn't steal from her as a last minute addition to the contract, and that she was using the space of MY condo that I OWN for free, and that her delays had cost me $7k in rent that I would have gotten from the tenant, and that I had just given her a gigantic check, that she had just cashed. She hung up on me.
The seller is going to come on March 1 to the condo, to move all of her stuff out. She won't come before then, and according to the contract, she cannot come after then- as of midnight, anything left in the condo or garage will be mine. So, my plan is to show up at about 6 AM that day at the condo, with my breakfast, lunch, and dinner packed and prepped. Then, I will wait until she shows up, and I will follow her around relentlessly, never letting her out of my sight. Hell, I might even wear a diaper so I don't have to take any bathroom breaks. I do not trust this woman one iota, and do not want to leave her alone in my condo for even one second.
I will stalk her, basically, following her around as long as she is at the condo complex, and especially while she is on my property. I want to be 100% sure that she doesn't trash my place, or damage anything while she's moving her furniture out, and that she doesn't do anything else crazy, and that she actually leaves the garage door open so that I can get it reprogrammed.
I don't think there's anything wrong with this, since a) I own the place, b) I need any keys she has, c) she needs to leave the garage open, and d) she has literally tried to steal from me in the past (February's rent) and has lied about several things. However, most of my friends and family seem to think that I'm overreacting. This is my first place, so I concede that I might be overreacting. Additionally, they dismiss her actions as just being senility, or something, because she's old- they don't | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4ZLxVjU5BjWdTWhYmKNaoSY5IBDxo5zq | b3mgt3 | {
"description": "insulting my bestfriend's girlfriend and destroyed my perfect friendship with him",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for insulting my bestfriend’s girlfriend and destroyed my perfect friendship with him? | First of all sorry for bad English, it’s not my first language.
So here’s some background.
Me (22M) and my bestfriend (19M) have a special bound, we’re really close and spend lots of time together.
He’s in a relationship with a girl who is very jealous, possesive due to some problem with his dad.
In the last months me and my bff spent a lot of time together, more than usual. She started to see me as the enemy, the one who is keeping her boyfriend away from her. So for the past 3 weeks everytime we spend some time together, she calls him crying and telling him he’s not giving her attentions and that he prefers me over her. This always ends up with him canceling plans or leaving me in the middle of our activities. She also started to say I’m gay and that I like him.
Two weeks ago me and bestfriend had a huge fight because i said i was sick of all this and that she was immoral and a bitch. He told me that it’s selfish and silly that I’m asking to not listen to his girlfriend, or to not leaving me or canceling everytime if she cries, or that he can’t choose between me and his girlfriend (never asked that btw).
Things got worse a couple of days ago, she was insulting me on the phone while talking to his boyfriend when he was with me, she called me fag and i said out loud “you’re a fucking instable mentally ill whore” (it’s translated).
My bestfriend got really mad, said he can’t forgive me, and now he is ignoring me and said our friendship may be over. He also said that if one day he wants to talk to me again he’s gonna call me and the only thing i can do now is wait.
I really miss him, i even apologized to him and her, but honestly i don’t regret it. AITA? Am i being selfish? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
3fl6b1CmiclOlQVsr0sidxEkPcXeYPDJ | b6s3jh | {
"description": "not wanting to visit my grandparents every week",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to visit my grandparents every week? | Backstory :My parents and youngest sister moved abroad and I live with my 19 year old sister in our old apartment. Ever since we were left alone my grandparents have felt more inclined to know more about our lives and talk to us more than ever before.
Look I'm a student(21M), I study computer science and am currently in the progress of getting a job/ internship which has made current times really work-heavy and stressful.
This past month I have been hanging around with my family a lot due to a lot of birthdays being around this time(Basically every week of March its someone's birthday) and I don't mind seeing them at all, however lately they have been starting to pressure me more in terms of visiting, sending messages such as "When can we see you next and when are you coming." Even if we saw eachother just 3 days ago. They would keep sending me messages or call and expect me to show up on their doorstep. My grandparents are absolutely lovely people with the exception that my grandma can get quite a bit out of hand in social situations(has a tendency to interrupt everyone and talk herself), but other than that I do have a great relationship with them.
But I'm sorry but I don't really have the time and it's a real hassle to visit them since I don't own the car(We have decent public transport here where I live) and it takes me 30 mins to get from uni to their house and if i want to get home it takes me about an hour on my own. Additionally I have long commutes(2h every day minimum) which leaves me little time for school, exercise,what little social life I have left once im done in uni. I have tried politely telling them this, but they don't seem to listen and I feel like an asshole if i start saying no I can't come. Whenever they need me(IT related questions and I help my granddad with heavier lifting from time to time) Im always there for them the first chance I get.
But lately I have had a tough time in school since there is a lot to do, but they don't seem to understand...
I just want to tell them to stop pressuring me all the time. I will surely visit and see them when I have more time, but make sure to see them minimally once a month, but I can't keep up with the pace they want me to.
AITA for feeling this way and WIBTA if I told them how I feel? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
N9alav0Prka9bneDYJbn8D2qQj6sENr1 | aebqo0 | {
"description": "telling him to leave",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling him to leave? (Warning: childish) | AITA for saying that?
Ok, I don't really know what happened here... Me and my boyfriend of 3 years are going to college and I still live at home because the campus is really close to my parents house and we don't have a lot of money.
My bf spends most of the nights at our house because he lives an hour away, and it has been that way for a while. I recently got another room to use right next to my bedroom (which is really small, only a bed for the two of us and a cupboard with tv on it), so today I put some nice chairs and my tv and gaming consoles in the new room.
When my bf came home today after playing Pokémon Go! all day, he was not impressed when he saw the bedroom. Said my room looked more chaotic than before and now we couldn't watch tv in bed no more. He then refused to even look at the other room and went to the kitchen to make some noodles for him and I was kind of pissed because I really put in some effort to make this a nice place for us to live... so I told him to go home if he wants to act like that when he was at the foot of the stairs and he just was like "ok" and ran me over (I was standing on the stairs) so that I landed on my butt, and it was not especially violent, but it still hurt, and I started to cry a little and went into another room so he wouldn't see and next thing I know he drives off without saying another word, not even saying goodbye to my parents. (He almost never drives anywhere because he doesn't have money for gas, so this is kind of weird for him to do just because he didn't want to look at the room...) (We are both adults.......)
I mean.. I don't even know what happened here.
Usually I am the one who takes a step in his direction in situations like this because he tried to kill himmself in 2017 and I'm always worried that I am too mean to him... But I am sick of always being the one to rekindle. I have depression too and getting up and trying to improve our living circumstances in any way is not something i can achieve every day. I probably should not have told him to go home, but this is not his home after all and he could have just taken a look inte the room and said "looks ok" or something...
I know that if I don't text him first he probably won't talk to me for days but I have a feeling that I am NTA here... Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
onB9vKVUgwtiHD64jzrSB7fhIGx4ABEz | am70am | {
"description": "feeling bad about not being able to help my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling bad about not being able to help my best friend? | Ok, this is my first time posting but this has been on my mind so I hope this goes well, so basically I've been friends with this guy, let's call him T, for around 6 or 7 years, and we've kept in remarkably close touch throughout most of those seven years, especially since I'm pretty anti social all things considered, (also note that around the third or fourth year I knew him he met a girl online that he eventually got into a relationship with, I'm going to call her L, this'll become more important later) however recently he's been dealing with some really fucked up shit, which I'm not going to go into detail about, but just know that it's pretty bad, and more stuff just keeps on happening, now because of all this crap he's been becoming slowly more and more depressed, and increasingly suicidel from the sounds of it, however I can't do anything to try and help him because he refuses to talk to me about it. He always says something along the lines of that he was taught not to burden others with his own problems, but here's the thing, he does talk to L about it, he says that he feels he can because she's a girl, but here's the problem, he's not getting any better, he just seems to get worse and worse and I can't seem to do anything about it, he won't see a professional about it and I'm worried what'll happen if he continues on like this, but all my other friends I talk to about it either think he should just "get over it" or I should leave him alone and stop bringing it up, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yuXsbb7BDJJyHzAE40l0yMyIBPVqVioG | amaizk | {
"description": "getting annoyed when my friend doesn't stay with us when we are out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting annoyed when my friend doesn't stay with us when we are out? | I apologize if this is a bit long, as I want to add enough detail.
​
I am fifteen years old, and my friend group that I normally hang out with is also made up of 15 and 16 years olds. We like to hang out a lot outside of school, and usually, our parents are okay with leaving us to it, as long we're safe about it.
Before we leave though, they always give us one rule (that we all agree with): STAY TOGETHER!
This rule isn't a problem for us, as we usually hang out until late and we always want to make sure we know where everyone is (when we're out together) and to stick together, especially at night, to stay safe.
One of my best friends (15 years old), who is also in my friend group, has some trouble with it though. Sometimes she will wander off without telling us where she is going or she will urge us to go on to the next store or wherever without her even though we tell her that we want to stick together.
​
One time, while we were in the middle of Publix at night buying groceries for a sleepover, she got a phone call and stepped back. Assuming that she would only be a few feet away, we turned back and let her talk. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and when we turned around a few minutes earlier she was gone. I panicked a little, because A) I didn't know where she was and B) my dad told us to always stick together before he dropped us off.
Eventually, we found her walking around and talking on the phone a few aisles over, and when she saw us walking towards her, she started to walk away. The second time, we tried to ask her to tell us where she was going next time/ask if she was okay but she ignored/waved us off and walked away again. This happened about two more times, but eventually, she stopped walking far off. She also seemed a little anxious and figured that whatever was on the phone was important, so we let her be. When she came back she just explained that it was her boyfriend calling to tell her about his day and nothing important. We asked her to tell us where she is going next time, but she just replied with, "I was just over there." I let it slide that time since the store was kind of small anyway.
​
Another example was last night when we (Her, another friend, and I) were at the bookstore. It was about 9:35 pm and my friend (I'll just call her G) wanted to check out the candy store across the street that closed at 10 pm, but it was fairly dark outside and we didn't want to leave each other alone at that time of the night.
While G was paying, I went and asked her if she wanted to go, and she replied that she wanted to keep looking around and we could go without her. I explained that no, we didn't want to just leave her at the bookstore alone and that we wanted to stick together, but she said again that it was alright for us to leave her there. Eventually, G and I just decided to wait for her, and thankfully the candy store hadn't closed the time we had left, but I was still kind of annoyed that she wasn't understanding that we wanted to stick together.
Really, I am not mad at her for wanting us to go on without her, but I am kind of annoyed that she is not understanding why we want to stay together to stay safe, but at the same time, I feel kind of guilty for being annoyed because she feels bad about keeping us behind a lot. AITA? Do I have a right to be annoyed? Am I overreacting/ making the whole "stick together" thing hard on her?
​
TL;DR - My (15F) best friend sometimes strays away from the group/insists that we leave her behind even though we want to stick together for safety. AITA for being annoyed?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
fqh4mKX6gr0wUWOQwjNFp1pUzEhoK9i0 | aqjvh6 | {
"description": "not wanting for my brother and stepdad to go with me on a trip",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting for my brother and stepdad to go with me on a trip? | I'm gonna try to explain this whole situation as best as I can.
Two years ago I got braces. When I had to get them tightened, my mom would drive me to the a local clinic, not too far away from my home. Then, after few months the dentist told me, that she cannot come to my town anymore, because her own clinic is in the capital, about 3 hours away, and it costs her too much to come to my town. My mom told the dentist, that we wouldn't have any problems going on a trip once every few months for my braces, so that's what we did.
The thing is, that my stepdad doesn't want my mom to drive around, so whenever my whole family goes on a trip, he always drives. My mom is a pretty good driver, and she admitted, that she does want to drive around more to not loose her skill, but she doesn't want to argue with my stepdad.
The first year we went on these trips for my braces, we went to these big malls. I really liked going to them, but now my stepdad won't go there, because he doesn't like them. He would rather stop in a smaller town, in a smaller store on the way home. And even if we do stop to shop around, he rushes everyone because he is tired and wants to go home.
And my younger brother isn't that easy to deal with either - we always get in fights, he doesn't like big stores that much.
I begged my mom for months, I asked her many times if my brother and stepdad could stay home. She says, that she is a bit afraid to drive in a bigger city and she wants us all to go as a family, because it's unfair to my bro and stepdad.
Now I have my braces off, but since I am wearing retainers, I still need to go for a checkup every few months. My next checkup is in a few weeks, and my birthday is a week before the checkup. My mom asked me:
What do you want for your birthday?
And I said:
I want to go to the checkup only with you, without my bro or stepdad.
(this is not the first time I asked her this for my b-day)
She looked uncomfortable and changed the subject. She told me the same things :
She doesn't feel that comfortable driving in 'the big city' (even though the clinic is not that far to the entrance of the city), and it's unfair.
My mom does know the road there, and she's a good driver so I don't get the problem here.
I asked her many times for this, and even if she promised it, on the trip day my bro and stepdad would just get up and go with us. My mom did apologised for it.
I just want for once to go to a big mall without my stepdad nagging on my shoulder that I'm taking too long looking and clothes and etc. I want a nice, calm car trip, just for once! Is this too much to ask?
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1Ef3VBp441qJKAAuCTtrVf8gduIy4WEE | aqzmxa | {
"description": "not feeling guilty about friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not feeling guilty about friend? | So basically today some of my friends told me that one friend is sad/angry at me for not talking to her as much as I once talked and being 'cold' She (the friend that is sad/angry) is kinda annoying and very loud for my taste and the majority of the time she talks about stuff I don't care. I talked with one of my friends and I was tolded that I should think about my actions. I don't really feel guilty, I don't want people annoying me. (sorry for bad grammar, English is my second language) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rxEliWt4CHoIxuyZNH9bvemHHTIIuBnQ | b1tkpm | {
"description": "wishing my fiance had done something on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wishing my fiance had done something on my birthday? | It's my birthday today and my fiance hasn't really... done anything for it. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat but, we live together and he knows it's my birthday. I'd be happy with anything. A homemade dinner, a handmade card, running a bath, *something*. It's making me sad. I know he doesn't have any money, and I know that he isn't the most emotionally in tune, but I'd just like to get some special attention on my birthday. Even if he just held me for a while and did my hair or something. But he isn't doing anything.
He's been pressuring me all day to go out and do something with him, but I know that he doesn't have anything planned, since he doesn't care where we go as long as we can get some food. And *I'll* be the one paying. Like I always am.
I feel brattish though. I feel like I'm upset over something that I shouldn't have even expected. Am I the asshole for being upset that my fiance hasn't done anything, and I mean *anything* for my birthday? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WuRBz9LaYbm46mO5BDQKTsUO48eX2ykF | anv38v | {
"description": "asking my brother not to bring his girlfriend to my birthday meal",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA For asking my brother not to bring his girlfriend to my birthday meal? | Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile.
So some context, My SO (F24) and I (M29) both suffer social anxiety. Going to public places, new places and meeting new people are all things that can cause us both some issues.
With my birthday coming up, my Dad has offered to take me and my SO out for a meal to celebrate. We are going to a restaurant that we have both been too, and we stupidly assumed that there would just be people I know there.
However, today I found out that my younger brother (16) intends to bring his girlfriend along too. Whilst I have no issue with meeting my brother's SO I just would prefer it to be somewhere that I'm more comfortable (Dad's house/ My house) rather than somewhere where I am already going to be stressed out.
Would I be the Asshole if I asked my brother not to bring his Girlfriend? I feel that this meal is for my benefit but is going to be ruined unnecessarily by stress levels.
I should also mention that the reason I haven't met my bros SO is because we live in separate sides of the country and neither of us drive.
I shall await your Judgement.
TL;Dr Would I be the asshole for not wanting my Brother's girlfriend at my birthday meal due to our anxieties?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
bifCSxixbWLdEruj4rPY9lZgWRZW2Qlr | a0oz91 | {
"description": "having sex with a girl who is more interested in me than I am in her",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for having sex with a girl who is more interested in me than I am in her? | I am in second year at my uni, and I don’t know what it is called in English but every year there is a team of older students who welcomes the new freshman and does a bunch of social activities with them (parties, trips and other stuff). I am one these “guides” and because of that I also signed a contract saying that I won’t be intimate with the freshmen until a certain date.
But anyways, the first day we met the freshmen it was obvious that this one girl was very interested in me. I recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend so this attention was pretty nice and I flirted back. She flirted a lot, laughed at my jokes and pretty much just followed me around which I had no problem with, she was nice, pretty and we had great chemistry.As I wasn’t allowed to do anything with her, I held back and dodged her kisses and attempts when she was drunk.
But then after a month or so it was officially okay for me get intimate with her and we started kissing at social events and stuff. We were kind of a lowkey unofficial “thing” and we also had sex twice. The last time we had sex she talked about how much she liked me and how I was the nicest person she knew, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable. She didn’t say she had feeling for me, but I felt that what she said was pretty much the same thing.
I felt like it was moving towards a relationship and I kinda panicked because I knew that I wasn’t interested in her as much as she was in me.
I kissed some other girls at some parties where she was also present which I later felt was kind of a dick move, but at least she found out that I wasn’t falling for her. I then decided that I would stop doing anything with her because I felt that was the nicest thing to do if I didn’t want her to get feelings for me.
We still saw each other at social stuff and we still had a great time, but I stopped flirting and we didn’t do anything for about a month.
Until this weekend where I got drunk and had sex with her and also made out with her the next day at another party.
My friend thinks IATA because I am playing with her feelings and leading her on.
I don’t how these things work, if I know I don’t want anything serious am I then being selfish if I think she may have feelings for me?
I’m 22 btw and she is 23.
Sorry if my English is shitty. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
zBGIQPSH8qgDYLGF04KZklNmhsg5Tu5s | b2rbza | {
"description": "not feeling bad about how I made my mother feel",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not feeling bad about how I made my mother feel? | I'm an athiest. My deeply religious mother isn't aware of this as far as I know, but my father is, so he may have told her at some time. Yesterday, my mother wanted me to go to a Christian band concert a half-hour's drive from where I live. She purchased the tickets for us without asking if I was interested in going with her about a month ago, and the time for it had finally come yesterday evening. I, however, was not interested in going with her at all. She wouldn't have been alone if I hadn't have gone with her, as she already had her best friend going. I'm under 18, so I still live with my parents and live by their rules, so of course I can't decide for myself not to go. I had school the next day, so I had to wash my clothes and get ready for it in the morning, in addition to a couple of hours worth of homework left to do. I believe I had valid reason to stay home while she went with her friend.
It almost came time to leave for the concert, and I asked my mother if I could stay home and do the things I needed to. It was at this point that she blew up on me, shouting that I needed to get ready and that the matter was "not up for discussion!". So I asked, "Why isn't it up for discussion?". I was responded to in the same way as before: that I needed to get ready and it was not up for discussion. I told her that we would likely not get back until late, and that I did have school work to finish that night, but she didn't seem to care. She never gave a reason for wanting me to go, despite me asking quite a few times.
I did end up having to go to the concert, and it was no more enjoyable for me than I had imagined. My mother spoke no words to me from the time we had gotten into the car to head there until we had gotten back home. I honestly do not believe she actually wanted me there. By that point, I think she was simply trying to prove that she had the power to force me to go, for reasons unknown. The concert ended over an hour later than I had expected, and I ended up working on school work until past 1:00 a.m. I did not get to sleep until perhaps 3:00. Had my mother allowed me to stay home, I would have been perfectly on schedule and would not have nearly fallen asleep in my classes this morning.
My mother and I have spoken very little since last night, but she did tell me that she would be willing to listen to me if I could apologize to her, and "mean it". I, however, don't feel that I should have to apologize to her. I don't feel bad about it at all. I had things to do that I saw as more important than this event that I cared nothing about, and I think she should have allowed me to do them. Not once did I raise my voice at her. I saw nothing to gain from me going to this concert, for either one of us.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kVKO9QILenQqEwPO5AUqPrcAkkgAdqcb | aolovn | {
"description": "telling my so that I don't want him to work at \"his dream job\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told my SO that I don't want him to work at "his dream job"? | Here's a little background: I've been with my SO for 4 years and we have a 2 year old and another on the way. He's been working at a place that he doesn't hate, it just isn't incredible pay but we're getting by with some extra money at the end of the month.
Before we met, like two years prior, he'd gotten fired from this place where he had his dream job. Recently, we'd visited this place to say hello to his old friend that works there and he informed my SO that his dream job opened back up. He's entertained the idea because the pay is slightly higher but it's not necessarily closer to our home than his current position. I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea and he knows it.
Here's why I'm uncomfortable: he (in addition to his friends) told me that that this woman, M - who was/and still is the overall manager of the place- got him fired with no warning or reason other than the fact that he wouldn't fuck her. In fact, she tried to get the barely legal young women in the workplace to allege sexual harassment against him but they didn't hold up under scrutiny. He still lost the job. My SO asked his friend if she was still a bitch and he said "she's calmed down because she's hanging out with a black priestess now" whatever that means. Upon returning home, he said "Oh I know you'd be extremely uncomfortable with me working there" then why pursue it?
I DO NOT want him to go to an environment where this kind of thing has happened. Of course, I sound like the asshole when I say "hey I know it's your dream job that pays a few bucks more an hour but why can't you just ask your current boss for a raise". This is his third job since I've known him, why give up 2.5 years of history instead of just asking for his deserved raise and promotion? At this point, I don't know if it's about me trusting him. Furthermore, the location of this place is somewhere where he gets physically ill and he said "I wonder if there's something I could do to make it bearable" uh, or just look for a different job/transfer to the location of your current employer near our home/one of their subsidiaries. There is no way I can broach this topic without him saying "Oh you don't trust me, you don't want me to live my dream" but living his dream means he'll constantly be gone more than he is now and instead of being off at 3pm, he'll be working late into the night. "oh but everyone knows me there and I'm a part of the community" but none of these people have reached out to him individually in the entire time I've known him so I don't think he holds that position now.
My last issue is he wants to move back to this town when I've explicitly stated that if I move again, I want to be closer to my daughter from my previous marriage and I'll never move back to that town - nothing there for me.
Am I the asshole/would I be if I told him he should look elsewhere? What's the non asshole way of approaching this?
Tl;dr - my SO wants his dream job despite knowing that I'm uncomfortable and it not being the most logical option for our growing family | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
HVlALa51D7NMLU7ULA5EZ3rRbE7xpsbg | axlz0j | {
"description": "parking next to an a who parked like an a",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for parking next to an A who parked like an A? | When I go to work this morning the only spot available was next to someone who parked like an asshole. One of their wheels was completely over the line into the next parking spot, which meant the only way I could pull into that parking spot was to match their angle.
Later that day I returned my car to drive home, and the other car was gone, Meanwhile, someone had slapped one of those “you park like an asshole” cards on my windshield. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dB4lI8aCmSKy8XvcSyscoL9DQr2nPNs8 | b0fl9d | null | AITA or are my neighbors crazy? | I live in a 1 BR apartment with my bf. There are 2 apartments (the 2nd is also a 1 BR) in the complex & our neighbors moved into the 2nd one in August. A man, his girlfriend, & their kid. Let’s call them M, G, & K.
October we got a text from our landlord saying that our neighbors complained we were being loud the night before. It was a Friday night. we had a friend over & were playing video games. the LL also told us this wasn’t the 1st time they complained about noise (this was the 1st we had heard about it though). LL said this was our 1st warning & said if we got 2 more we would be evicted. I was shocked because our last neighbor never complained about noise. I took the civil approach & talked to them. I apologized for being loud & explained that my bf & I are social people. I made sure they had our numbers & told them that I would notify them in advance when we planned to have people over & if we were ever too loud they could text us. Things were normal. I would text them in advance when we planned on having a party & a couple times throughout the months they texted asking to quiet down & we did just that.
Then last month I got a text from G. She asks my bf to stop slamming the door at the bottom of the stairs that leads to the outside because it was causing their door to pop open & that it happened several times (again first time we were hearing about this). She then said they told LL but he advised to call the cops. I apologized & told her we would be more mindful of the door & explained that my bf is a firefighter often hurrying to emergencies & that’s why he’s rough w/ the door. I expressed concern w/ their door possibly being broken & asked if she had LL take a look at it. She got defensive & despite she telling me the deadbolt was broken & only the doorknob lock worked, this wasn’t about whether the door was working it was about being a good neighbor. She ranted that it’s our job to be considerate & next time this happens they will call the cops and said “my boyfriend has an important job too but he doesn’t slam doors.” I didn’t want to argue so I just said “we’ll be more mindful of the doors”
Cut to my bf’s bday party the next week. We have a lot of friends over but since we had gotten the okay from the neighbors a while ago we were enjoying ourselves & playing music. around 11:00 we see a note on our door. It read “please stop slamming the door. We will call the police. Sincerely your neighbors.” The party instantly died. Since then we’ve been walking on eggshells. My bf had a conversation about them w/ the LL who told him he never suggested they call the cops & that they broke their lease agreement. It was only supposed to be M but then G and k also moved in. LL then confirmed our suspicions that K sleeps in the bedroom on the opposite end of the building while M & G sleep in the living room which is on the other side our LR & is only separated by a thin wall.
AITA or are my neighbors crazy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
pLeqWZcsw0jTPZwy5pUo2DMy85kMtr7d | avreci | {
"description": "refusing a wooden box I ordered",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing a wooden box I ordered? | Hello people,
I went on a vacation to my other country. I wanted a wooden box to store a silver plated 1911, so I asked my uncle if he knew someone who could do that for me. He said to me "I know a guy he's a friend and he does great work". I said great let's go see him.
We got to his shop and I gave him the dimensions and the specifics like the color of the varnish (I wanted a brown finish) and the lock on the box (I noticed the locks on the box he had where put upside down), I told the guy to put the lock in the correct position for my box.
I know for a fact that in this country you should never give any money until you have the finished product in hand. Otherwise you might not get what you paid for. So I left the shop without giving any money.
2 weeks later I ask my uncle to ask the guy if it's almost done. He said it just needed a lock and it was difficult to find. I said okay but my plane leaves in 3 weeks. I kept calling every week and same answer until the final week where my uncle took the initiative to go get it for me. I saw the box it was absolutely not what I ordered:
\-Lock put upside down
\-No varnish on the box. The box was yellowish
I was leaving in a few days and told my uncle that I'm not paying for that and I will return it. He got really upset and the following discussion took place.
Him: Take it anyway.
Me: No, the guy didn't follow any of my instructions, he can keep his box.
Him: But the box is already paid for!
Me: What? When?
Him: The day you placed the order.
Me: Then no wonder he kept jerking me around with that stupid lock! Why did you do that?
Him: Because he's my friend!
Me: You should never have paid him, and especially not behind my back when you know how bad they are at doing business in this country. I'm not taking the box looking like that.
Him: Fine I'll keep it for myself but you're an asshole! Don't ever ask me if I know a guy for anything ever!
I was really disappointed to see that box I was waiting for all this time, and even more at my uncle for doing that. It was not the same between him and me for the remaining days. He acted like I was 100% at fault which I think I'm not. This is why I want an outside opinion.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pyTwTFNWRz6EvMZYFrySn26md2IbQYYd | b9nyux | {
"description": "getting my ex and roommate banned from getting free groceries at my college",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA? I got my ex and roommate banned from getting free groceries at my college | I’m fairly new to reddit and idk if this would be the correct subreddit to post in, but here it goes. Basically my roommate and my ex are currently dating (so there’s tension that has built up from that) but that’s only part of what this story is about. At my college there is a place where people who can’t afford groceries for the week can go to get a few of the necessities things like bread, noodles, toothpaste etc. For the past few months I noticed they get back to the apartment and they have all this food with them and told they got it from said program. I know for a fact they both have decent paying job and can obviously afford their own groceries, and it doesn’t sit well with me because I felt they were abusing a system that is trying to help people in need. After expressing my concern they tell me “well it’s not our fault they just give this away, plus it’s an easy way to save money.” This went on for about a few months and eventually enough was enough. Wanting a bit of revenge for my roommate dating my ex I went to where the program is and told them that my ex and roommate were taking stuff because it was free and not for necessity and talked about how they were abusing the system. The person that’s in charge the program asks for their names, looks them up on the school data base and social media and this confirms I was telling the truth. Currently their pictures are on the outside of where the program is and they’re banned from going inside. They claim that I’m an asshole because I “ruined their vacation plan” because now they have to pay for their own groceries instead of using a system that’s supposed to help people that need it. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
FJPR5kdEsC3EPjT4f3DWejuqWYNiTW4r | awukju | {
"description": "refusing to even speak to my father anymore",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to even speak to my father anymore | Sorry for the massive wall a text to truly understand what’s going on you’ll need some context
When I was growing up my parents separated when I was like 1ish and they had a agreement that I would see my dad every other week end.
So at one point my dad got married to my step mother which she is a total piece of garbage. Every early memory of her she’s doing everything she can to make me feel like I was garbage. She would consistently tell me that I was going to break the scale or be on the biggest loser. Or things like that I’m going to be called stinky in school and she would just plug her nose every time I would walk by her. Also my dad didn’t do anything to stop it. (On a side note I wasn’t even overweight nor did I smell bad)
This go on till I’m about 12ish and then this week I was staying over there for like a weekish because summer was here and I didn’t have school. We would be constantly going outside to play basketball and shit like that. Then one of the days I had a idea to just ware the same shirt I did the day before since I was just going to get it dirty anyways. I didn’t think anything about it.
But when I got back home to my mother not even a day later we have child protective services at our door wanting to do an investigation because my dad called saying my mom doesn’t take care of me or clean any of my clothes. After the lady came in and investigated she was confused why she was even there. Our house was not dirty and my mom took a lot better care of me then my dad and step mom ever did.
So after that I didn’t have to see him anymore and honestly I was perfectly happy not seeing them anymore it was miserable. This went on for maybe like 4 to 5 years ish. I decided to reach out to him because he made zero attempts to contact me.
So when I met up with him again he just acted like it was all my moms fault that he tried calling but she wouldn’t let him. Which is a lie he never tried calling. I then maybe saw him 2 or 3 times after that between then and now which I’m 20 now and I was probably like 15 or 16 when we reconnected for the first time after he called for that investigation.
At this point he’s told me so many different reasons on why that happened that I just decided that I don’t want him part of my life it’s always so negative when I talk to him and nothing is ever his fault. He even had the nerve to call me child ish for not texting him back and just ignoring him.
So I just want to know if I’m really being a asshole for not wanting anything to do with him anymore.
Also the only reason I’m using a throw away is there are people that follow my main account that know who I am and I don’t want them to know all this.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mU0daDJjunMA226Gw6Eu8UOZPqko56JH | ag3gn3 | {
"description": "not reporting sexual assaults",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not reporting sexual assaults? |
Other women could become victims because I didn't ruin this guy's life by getting law enforcement involved.
So what happened is I'm dating this guy for two months. lots and lots of red flags. He violates my safe words, intentionally cums in me when I asked him not to, and coerces sex. I have bruises and injuries against my wishes. However, I'm not going to report him as long as he stays away and never comes to my house.
Some more backstory: I'm a sex addict and have a pattern of unconsciously seeking out abusers. I think abuse is "hot sex" and get caught up in it. I'm kinky and don't want to report this for two reasons:
1. I am a terrible plaintiff.
2. I don't want to ruin his life. He said he was madly in love with me and wanted to force me to have his baby.
I sent him text messages explaining why it was sexual assault when he came in me repeatedly when I told him I didn't want that and he agreed to pull out. So he knows and is educated. We actually had a conversation where he admitted violating a safe word like he did with me could get him in real big trouble. He also told me about a famous person who stealthed and was sued for it: before he came in me on purpose knowing I didn't want that.
Sick and Twisted as it is: AITA for not reporting him to save other women? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
NkFf0hQMcrh51aeEXbMSuOzyxfbKSAVb | at1dl2 | {
"description": "telling my friend something my other friend wouldn't",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For telling my friend something my other friend wouldn't? | B - Guy friend
G - Girl friend
Let me start this off by saying that they're both good friends of mine, and I don't want either of them to get hurt.
So a few weeks ago B started talking to G more. B ended up asking her to go on a date with him sometimes, she said yes.
It's all well and good until a week ago B told me and this other friend of ours that he doesn't want to be with G in that way, but just wants to be friend. I told him to tell her because she deserves the truth. B said he would that night, so I didn't tell G anything about what B told me.
The day after I talked to G and she told me that B has been ignoring her for the past few days, didn't reply to messages but read them, he wasn't busy as we talked a lot then. She was clearly upset so I asked if he told her, he didn't. I had to give her the bad news and she didn't take it that well. She ended up messaging B about it and found out one of his friends told her. He asked me and I TD him straight up I did, and he got pissed at me. Hasn't talked to me in the past two days.
So am I the asshole for doing what he didn't plan on doing? I get it wasn't exactly my place to tell her, but with the whole ignoring her thing and saying he would but didn't I don't know.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
neHoshvkn7tbignOKjl4p2DDpqcqTRHz | afqezb | {
"description": "cutting off my friend or at the very least expecting an apology before moving forward",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I cut off my friend or at the very least expect an apology before moving forward? | I have known my friend for years and their family treated me as one of their own children and siblings.
Last February (2018) my friend met a person on Tinder and they got along well. I liked their significant other (SO). I thought that their relationship progressed very quickly, and soon my friend really stopped seeing and communicating with other mutual friends and their family. I saw this and communicated my thoughts that they were moving fast and they disregarded me. oh well.
It should be noted that this friend has treated me fairly poorly in the past, but I wanted to move past it, things like leaving their house to go shopping while i am driving over and making me wait outside for an hour until they got home, discluding me from mutual friend activities, and not telling me that they were moving in with our mutual best friend, when I had communicated that I was interested in living together.
I learned from mutual friend that Friend and SO had secretly married. (Note: they married because SO is from out of the country and would have had to move back to home country after graduating college, and married in Dec. 2018) So Friend and SO had a secret wedding where mutual friend and one of SO's friends and friends parents were there and were all told not to tell anyone.
I learned from Friend's dad that they had married, and from mutual friend that they had this "weird, secret marriage" (MF's words).
My initial reaction was absolute heartbreak. I felt that Friend didn't trust me or love me enough to share this news with me, possibly because I was apprehensive about the progression of the relationship. Mutual friend agrees that this was the wrong move.
I've been reflecting, and I also feel that I made their happy thing about me. But if they were happy and proud, would they not have made this more open?
AITA and WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kYAag9mTqXXUUKQZ8zTvt33dTgswLJjB | aq2biy | {
"description": "buying another pet rat when my sister hates them",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For buying another pet rat when my sister hates them? | So a little while ago (About a month ago) I posted about how I was struggling to deal with the guilt of getting 2 rats, but now I'm back again with the same problem.
This Saturday I went and I got another rat. My sister has no idea that my little rat exists but if she finds out she'll probably never talk to me again.
I want to feel bad but honestly I don't. She's spent so long dictating what I can do with my life that I don't care what she wants anymore. However I live with my Dad full time and her not talking to me could impact how often she sees my dad.
Thoughts? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
gTu8mvwD5epoRIlh6rFsxhCZb2lJqq6P | a3ynt7 | {
"description": "being upset my late mother left everything to charity",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for being upset my late mother left everything to charity? | My mother passed earlier in the year after a long bout with breast cancer. For about the last 8 or so months I decided to leave my job and partially move in with her to take care of her. I have a house with my husband but I spent half the time there (usually nights I'll sleep at home and during the day stay with her with my husband and daughter as company sometimes). I was the one who found my mother. I was a teacher for 4 years when I resigned, to note is that finding a teaching position local is extremely prohibitive. I knew this beforehand.
After her mortgage was paid off with the estate as well as outstanding debts, I learned the remainder was left to breast cancer charity. Additionally, in her will were instructions to sell her house and pay that money forward to charity, too. Nothing was left to my family or anyone else for that matter. Nothing to her granddaughter.
AITA for being upset with this outcome? While I knew full well what I was doing by leaving my job, and I did it with no expectations, I never would have assumed an outcome like this. I had just assumed I would get everything from my mother when she passed, like it seemed obvious that's how things are done. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
CdqnmWSHo0ceiLrg6cNe2ActiJ0uhvzr | aoymg6 | {
"description": "being mad at my wife for not cleaning the house that we share with her grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being mad at my wife for not cleaning the house that we share with her grandmother? | So we have a young (6) son and we moved into her grandmothers house because I am the only one working and her grandmother needs someone to take care of her. To be clear, she is not in a vegetative state or anything like that, but she does have dementia badly and recently fell so she needs help moving around the house.
It saves us rent/mortgage which is huge. But I’m working 45 hours a week, paying for everything for us 3 from food to healthcare and all the miscellaneous extras life brings you. Then, I come home and dishes are still dirty, laundry’s not done, there’s a mess everywhere... vacuuming, dusting, nothing.
AITA because I feel like she should be taking care of those things? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
28pLTunTQo3vCIVR8pgBdZvF4meSmQmf | amnx48 | {
"description": "being fwb with a mutual friend of an ex if the ex is fine with it",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being fwb with a mutual friend of an ex if the ex is fine with it? | I(34F) was with my ex(32M) for 11 years and lived with him for the majority of that time. We broke up more or less a year ago. It was an extremely amicable break up (initiated by me, but was one he clearly also wanted and we had near-breakup talks leading up to it some of which initiated by him). We're still really good friends, and both really happy about that, especially since we have nearly all the same friends and the main group we hang out with is equally both of our friends who we've each hung out with for the last 12+ years.
Recently, I started having a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship with one of these friends. We've decided not to broadcast it for non-ex related reasons, so very few of our friends know.
Now, I know my ex really well and we have really open and honest communication. I *know* how he would feel about this, and am sure he would not be upset. I've dated a bit since we broke up, he was completely fine with it. He's definitely of the opinion that once people break up that they don't really owe anything to each other in regards to who they date. He's also specifically said that he would be fine with me dating mutual friends. It isn't him I'm worried about.
But some of our friends tend to still treat us like we're a couple. It's been a year since we broke up so I'm annoyed with it, but I also kind of get it. The people I dated since never got to a very serious point, and he's not dated anyone since AFAIK so no one has had much exposure to us being in relationships with others. We'll often go to parties together because I don't have a car, I live in the neighbouring apartment complex to him and everyone else lives rather far so it makes sense for him to drive me and he wants to. Yesterday, we went out for dinner with 4 of our friends, two sets of couples and then us. When it came time for the bills, a waitress came over and asked how we wanted to divide the bills and one of the friends gestured and explained a desire to split the bill into three bills, lumping me and ex together. I had to jump in and explain that me and ex would be separate. There have been other subtle hints of stuff like this from this friend and a few others.
Since then I've gotten increasingly worried that if people found out about the friends-with-benefits thing, they might be angry on exes behalf, and even if he didn't care they might think he is just not sticking up for himself. Remember, they don't really have the context that I have that says that he'd be fine with it or that I knew previous to starting this thing that he'd be fine with it. I'm known to be a good person in the group, and haven't ever done anything that anyone thought was wrong before, so I'm hoping that reputation holds up.
If you were my friends, would you think IATA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
kRfc1ApPVHSIQpP30HLabVzpsB0Vxgz3 | b5bdvl | {
"description": "not putting a Group Member's name on the Lab Report",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not Putting a Group Member's Name on the Lab Report? | I'm currently a high school senior, and taking physics. My lab group has gone through quite a few people moving and leaving my school, and we currently have 5 people.
One of said people is an exchange student from Brazil. She does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING during class except browse social media on her phone and call her mom. (No earbuds, speakers on full blast. Yeah, she's one of those). The rest of the group actively participates in every lab we do, and are frustrated with her lack of help. We've asked her to help out, but she still just sits there on her phone. We tried bringing it to the teacher, but she just told us to ask her to participate more.
I don't think that she should just get the grade the rest of us earn on labs just because she was assigned to our lab group, but a few other members of my group think otherwise.
AITA for not putting her name on the lab writeup? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
aEKOCGxXoHJ3oDMRCZiyNnYoveF78sic | b0rcpn | {
"description": "wanting to distance myself from my high school friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to distance myself from my high school friends | I’m 4 years out of high school and there are several friends I’ve somewhat kept in touch with. We go to school across the state from each other but they come to visit often and we occasionally text/call each other.
When we started college, my best friend and I ended up at the same school and had a rather brutal falling out. Long story short she completely cut me out of her life and tried to manipulate me because she didn’t like that I had become friends with her roommate. She said and did some really hurtful things and I kind of expected our friends to support me during this. They both said she was being horrible and seemed to side with me but never really stood up for me. Which is fine. It’s not quite fair for me to ask them to choose me over my ex-friend. But it didn’t leave me feeling very supported or like my friends cared about me.
Now they come to visit our school and if I want to see them I have to endure this whole group of people I’m not too fond of as well as my ex friend and often her roommate I was forbidden from talking to. I always end up feeling horrible and upset after these visits- partially because I have to endure ex-friend but also because I always feel like an after thought. There have been several times where they didn’t tell me they were going to dinner or hanging out as a group and I’ve been completely left out of plans.
We still talk on occasion but I don’t feel nearly as close to them as before (which I think is normal after high school in some cases). None of them even remembered my birthday. But I still feel obligated to be a part of their visits when they invite me because they were my only friends before college.
So AITA if I stop making an effort to see them when they travel across the state to be with this group?
TLDR: feeling like I’ve grown apart from friends from high school- want to stop seeing them but feel obligated after they travel across the state to my school | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
HQ18OEJncssCaJ2wAtdbivXi0xG0DtkN | asduec | {
"description": "being on my phone and listening to music for the entirety of a mandatory to attend special needs basketball game",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for being on my phone and listening to music for the entirety of a mandatory to attend special needs basketball game? | At my school, there are events held every so often. One event was a special needs basketball game for mentally challenged and physically challenged individuals. The problem I had with this was that it was mandatory to go into the stands and “watch”. I went to many higher ups requesting myself to be able to not attend as I despise a lot of sports, basketball included, as well as get headaches at events like these normally. But whenever I would explain this, I’d always get the look like I’m an ass and would be told that it’s the special needs kids and to do the right thing. So instead of spending my time doing anything productive, I was forced to sit in a loud gymnasium and wore ear buds blasting music and playing on my phone, going on discord, etc. I still got dirty looks but an hour or so later it was over and done with. Am I an asshole for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
QJ8KXX1fNUeYro2IgEMmYKGiWFEZlVm7 | agrsnh | {
"description": "not wanting to babysit anymore & getting mad when family members don't respect me when I say no",
"pronormative_score": 72,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to babysit anymore & getting mad when family members don’t respect me when I say no? | If the title was confusing, I’ll explain here (also, I’m on mobile so sorry in advance).
I’ll address the family members by A & B.
I’ve basically been my family’s babysitter for six years & I NEVER get paid. Even if I ask to be paid my family says “you don’t get paid if you’re family.”
There have been countless times where A will drop their child off, say they will be gone for “only a couple of hours” & then not show up for three or more hours after said time.
B has done the same to me as well.
A & B only ever contact me to babysit.
I’ll get phone calls or texts that go like this “Hey AssAssinsCreed, what’s up? Haha! So I’m dropping ___ & ____ off in the morning!” When I say “No. I’m busy., A & B will laugh it off and drop their kids off anyway!
After six years of this, I’m exhausted.
Six years and hundreds of hours babysitting and not being paid, I’m done.
I’ve told both A & B this, but as I’ve stated before they do not care.
B has talked to my mom and said that I was ‘disrespectful’ when I flat out said “No. I don’t want to babysit anymore. At all.”
(I’m 23 if that matters).
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 72,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 72,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
920SRNKozmuIVV4QIPsCOM3twAQmH4RP | ah2yzk | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for other people's drinks",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for other people's drinks? | So I went out with a group of friends and one of them invited a friend and that friend brought two other people. So three people we don't all know. No problem, we are just out for fun. So all night the three new people and our friend are throwing back drinks left abs right. So fast forward to the end of the night, they didn't have enough to cover their bill and said it was our fault because we didn't stop them when they were getting smashed. I refused to pay +60$ because they are adults and I don't feel I have to pay for random people's bad choices. Plus I know she has a credit cars but didn't want to use it. Am I the asshole for not paying? Idk they made me feel bad for not paying for the whole thing. I dropped an extra 20$ and went home. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KFuPBAXYK7uvUfyT85Ab3MUCsAo2TAyR | a1kkxz | {
"description": "tipping (poorly) when tipping optional",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for tipping (poorly) when tipping optional |
I really didn't think this was rude of me but I thought I would consult the almighty internet.
The other day I visited a younger friend who was recently hired at Little Ceasars. Another friend of mine had come with me and we both ordered a 5 dollar box. We ate it there and hung out chatting with young friend and the two other employees that were there since it was late and they were closing down soon. Before we left decided that I wanted to be nice and tip them since they had mentioned they don't get many tips.
I left 3 dollars, 1 for each of the employees. and my younger friend working there says "that's just 3 dollars, that's one for each of us", in a kinda rude tone. To be honest I didn't know if i should have taken the money back or said something but i just said, "oh sorry, well I'll see you guys later". the more i thought about it, the more i definitely could see how i could come across as TA but also not TA.
​
Im not looking to start a debate on tipping or anything like that... but I thought I was doing something nice. When I was working at a pizza place when i was younger I was happy if someone gave me a dollar or even let me keep the change.
​
So... AITA for tipping 1 dollar to each employee?
​
TL:DR - visited friend at new job, tipped him and two coworkers 3 dollars total (one for each) and they were rude due to the amount. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Kggi9VbDjWPwmeEUnvlCFN9tHEX1XnpJ | a9va70 | {
"description": "not humoring the dining hall employee",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not humoring the dining hall employee? | Context: I'm a junior in college. I have a partial meal plan on campus that I use to get lunch with my friends in the dining halls from time to time. In the dining hall it's usually a student employee who's swiping people in/ manning the cash register. For a student, it's not really a fun job but it's a lax work environment so they can usually do homework or whatever busywork they need to do.
When I go to grab lunch, there's a certain student employee who always asks random themed questions to the people he's swiping in. People enjoy it and answer but I'm never in a mood to. So I just hand him my card, ignore the question, and thank him to be on my way. I was swiping in with my friend a few weeks ago and he called me out for being a dick by not answering. It's been on my mind and I just wanted some thoughts. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SXAuTcg8dPgYZ7UFg7itXm0UXAhD8DGH | ab2ufa | {
"description": "wanting to drink one Seagrams during the New Years party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to drink one Seagrams during the New Years party | I'm going to be attending a party for New Years where there will be alcohol present. I have already decided that I am not going to get drunk at this party, as I cannot stay the night. However, I also figured one Seagrams, if drank when I first arrived, couldn't hurt.
​
When I told my girlfriend about this, she flipped out, saying I was stupid and that drinking and driving was going to get me killed. It even got to the point where she is now saying I can't go to any parties with drinking involved without her, because she doesn't trust me to not drink and drive, for even suggesting this. She says it's because she was in a previous relationship where someone drank and drove, but this is hardly the same thing, right?
​
Am I really an asshole for wanting to have one Seagrams, a beverage with the alcoholic content of water, and still driving home? I'm sorry if this seems like one of those "fishing for karma" posts, I'm just really confused how she can flip out like this and it's making me wonder if I really am the asshole in this situation; if not, can anyone give me some insight into her POV? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
s2XlBL61tm7YeafXtNeDnChSv0YUCJKx | b278iw | {
"description": "being pissy over a dinner invite to a friend and only them but they decided to bring their partner",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I am pissy over a dinner invite to a friend and ONLY them but they decided to bring their partner? | They have done this a couple of times. Even with things like "Okay we made reservations for three people."
Then last minute, "Oh, I'll be there late I have to get my SO." Uh, no offense but no one invited your SO, we both left ours at home. I would mind less if the SO didn't have meal restrictions that clash hard with our home meals (we do fresh meals Sunday and portion out extra for the week.) or if they didn't argue so much.
Should I be less annoyed? AITA for not inviting both of them? I made it a point to extend the invitation to the friend but got hit back with "Well, it is going to be me and SO." Public places, that's w.e. but I didn't invite your SO to my apartment.
I have a couple hours to cool my head but I don't want to ask my circle in case it gets around. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KUpRQvGXT6h0sjvIAHxEaITrpoFHlSM7 | aj6byp | {
"description": "a former-friend refusing to speak to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for a former-friend refusing to speak to me? | (This is a throwaway account)
My former friend and I would play CS:GO a lot, and recently he got mad at something I did in-game. About 90% of the games we play he calls someone out for hacking that is certainly not hacking and simply hit a lucky shot. Today, we came across someone in a game that was hitting some insane shots and always knew where we were. At first, I was a bit skeptical of them, but I didn't want to call the alleged hacker for sure. Though my former friend, after the first round was already accusing. Every other time he does this, I stay quiet though it does bother me. Today, I finally said something about it. A bunch of people in our Discord were talking, so I talked over them to talk to my former friend about it, though it came across as me yelling at him. Though to his credit, the guy was actually hacking. He later team-killed me and abandoned the game.
We started talking in Steam DMs, with the summary being this:
Me: I find it pretty annoying when you are constantly calling people out for hacks.
Him: I don;t care. Whenever I do something small you turn into a hypocrite and get mad at me and its annoying. Also you treat me like an autist.
Me: How is me getting mad at you for constantly calling people out for hacking hypocritical? Also, I was yelling because everyone else was yelling. Also, you get mad at me for breaking something on the map that you never use, yet causes an inconvenience to other people.
He now refuses to speak to me.
We ended up with similar friends in custom matches where he refuses to unmute me
Whenever he has a problem, he refuses to communicate anything. He never faces any problems he has and rather avoids it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
6OlpdMsSis6Zg9adBZSEiOOZQSIPqmE3 | af78el | {
"description": "being pissed off at my brother in law",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed off at my brother in law? | My (26f) brother in law (31m) has become increasingly more close to me in the last few years. While I consider him a close friend, this new family connection means he treats me more like a younger sister than a friend. He tends to tell me off for things, not apologise for actions and makes me feel like a child in his presence.
I feel there is an underlying understanding of family and comradery, but sometimes it gets to the point where I feel hurt by how he treats me like a younger sister in a patrionising sense, rather than a genuine two way friend relationship.
We recently went on holiday with him and my sister/his wife (28f), and I got very upset feeling like a child because of how he treats me.
AITA or is this just common new brother in law behaviour? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ACF4ba2HuVlh5udz26meo8o38Gp028X1 | 9vfb7r | {
"description": "complaining to my teacher about feedback on a presentation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for complaining to my teacher about feedback on a presentation? | For a little bit of background, I had an important presentation today for my senior design class in university. Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best at public speaking. I get nervous, stutter, and I have a hard time keeping eye contact. In order to do well I need to prepare far in advance, but considering the amount of work we had to do, we couldn’t put the presentation together until the day before.
So we do the presentation and it’s fine, we get a lot of great feedback after. My professor sent us an excel sheet with comments from other people in the room, including grad students, fellow classmates, and faculty advisors. One of the comments was “considering English as their first language I guess. Presentation should have been way better.” I’m the only person in my group with an ethnic name. I just feel like the comment was inappropriate and I told my professor and asked him to tell whoever made the comment to keep their feedback relevant to the presentation. I don’t mind critique I just think this comment was uncalled for. AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qp7Em0IWLGY7cpsFQ6GVOo8w9u225e9m | aihh09 | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to repeat herself",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to repeat herself? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little less than two years and I've started getting angry at some of the things she does. We'll be talking on the phone and ill have bad connection every now and then, so I ask her to repeat her sentence. When I do this she gets extremely annoyed and her responses become anger filled. Even when I ask her whats the matter she insists nothing is wrong. Eventually with enough peristance she'll admit it was me not being able to hear her that made her upset, but even with the admition she never works on controlling that anger or saying that it's wrong. Finally today I blew my lid and said something to the effect of "When you can't hear me I repeat myself without a problem, but god forbid I misshear you. I get to be worried when ever my phone happens to drop the last word of your sentence. Maybe its because you get over angry when that happens and you need to fix it." Now before I get the obviously YTA, yes I understand my behavier was not proper. What i'm asking is if I have a right to be upset by her behavier when I can't hear her.
TL;DR: Girlfriend gets mad when I can't hear her, and I feel like its unjustified
Sorry for the giant wall of text | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lOwDy5IuS4c9RjCYLG5A56KE1mssHb7E | b271mt | {
"description": "running a powerfuld D&D character that made my dm ragequit and kick me from the group",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for running a powerfuld D&D character that made my DM ragequit and kick me from the group | In my now former D&D group i brought a warforged hexblade warlock/sorceror. whole the core of this build using a synergy between those two classes to generate magic with no upper limit the DM signed off on that part of the build beforehand. the thing that made him upset is the fact that with the warforged's natural armor and the haste spell i had an extremely high AC for a spellcasting class and could preform a melee spell for more damage than the barbarian. this part didn't come from any synergy and was just natural aspects of the hexblade warlock class and the warforged. as soon as he saw how strong this was he ended the session mid-combat then kicked me from the online chatroom. my gameplay was in no way disruptive i was just entirely too strong for the DMs plans. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ib24HAqTuB7wis2g1SUNtAFYl8Jdrwxj | b5kt73 | {
"description": "ending a decade long friendship",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ending a decade long friendship | So me and \*Liz have been friends for about a decade long.
​
We've mainly had ups for the most part, until the last six months (of last year) when something horrible happened to Liz. That's when everything changed.
​
She didn't open up to me about the events until a couple months afterwards when the worst of it had passed. Apparently Liz wasn't coping well with any of it, and was spiraling into a hole. A lot of things weren't working well for her, but this was the thing that set her over the edge. She was making some questionable choices, which I kept warning her not to do. And of course she did them anyways, and came crawling back to me crying.
​
She told me that she couldn't talk to anyone about her deepest fears and depression, which lead her to obsess about the same details and her constant facetime calls (half of which I ignored because I was dealing with my own stress/being annoyed of her). I'll admit that she was getting a little bit better about not calling me everytime she was having hysteria, but she was always so depressing everytime I'd see her. Yes, she would apologize after obsessing about her issues with me, and She'd ask me if there was anything in life that was bothering me. Her exact words were "I don't want to make every conversation about me, you can talk about your issues too if there's anything you're stressed about". But I didn't want to steal her spotlight since she was having her hysteria.
​
I'll admit that I was a little annoyed by the fact that she couldn't move past some issues. And I'd lowkey drop some hints like "Maybe you should just forget about it". I think that might have been why she did what she did later.
​
A few months later, and that's when I started having anxiety because of her. I would text her over the course of two months to casually chat with her, but she would take ages to respond to my messages. And I began to suspect that she might have been using me this entire time! Only chatting with me whenever she needed someone to rant to. This went on until I couldn't take it anymore and I asked to meet up.
​
I confronted her in person about her slow responses and how I thought she was using me, but she said that she was just busier than usual dealing with some other things and would just simply respond faster. And I argued that actions speak louder than words, to which she countered by calling me out for purposely evading her facetime calls earlier. At this point, I was so annoyed with her drama that I told her I wanted out of this friendship, and I ranted how she would never think about if I was going through things of my own. Oh, and to top it off, she couldn't even see why I was angry/hurt that she could say something like "Oh, we're just really different people now". Maybe if she could sense when something was wrong with me, things wouldn't have ended. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
IWdVoVYGKiwqCR6GO2Dru60xF7Nk6V04 | b8csl4 | {
"description": "not caring about my husband meeting his biological family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not caring about my husband meeting his biological family? | I have a lot to unpack here, so let me start with the basics. My husband and I have been legally married for 8.5 years. We have not actually been living together, or living any semblance of a married lifestyle for the majority of the time. We did not work together as a couple so we parted ways. We have a 6 year old kid together. We get along great, probably mostly for the sake of our kid, but we still consider each other really good friends.
My husband is adopted. He was adopted at around a month old so he had no memories or knowledge of his bio parents because it was a closed adoption. His parents have always supported him and let him know if he ever wanted to look into his bio parents, they’d have his back and pay for all the legal costs. He never showed too much interest and just accepted that we wouldn’t have a lot of info in terms of hereditary health problems, mental problems, etc. in regards to our child.
Like I stated before, we aren’t really “together.” Only in terms of legal marriage, but he has his personal life, I have mine. However, a year or so ago he decided to impregnate a woman who is married (long story, her husband supposedly agreed, and it’s a polyamorous thing I really don’t understand but that’s not my business and I’m not here to judge it). What really annoys me is that all of the sudden now that she’s had this baby, his bio family is SO important to him. His other baby-mama stalked out his bio-mom on facebook and now he’s pretty much in touch with everyone in his biological family.
This is great and all, but now it comes to the part where I question if I’m an asshole. I legitimately don’t care about any of this. He called me tonight as he was in a parking lot of a bar waiting to meet his bio dad for the first time. I never pushed him into this, and I know he’s only doing this because his other baby-mama basically forced him to get answers about his bio family after he impregnated her. I’ve listened to him talk about it, and even went to Christmas dinner at his bio-mom’s brother’s house after feeling guilted into it. He never gave a shit about all of these biological things when our daughter was born, never made an effort to search for them even if it was for medical reasons only, until he had this second kid. Point blank, AITA for being done giving a shit about him meeting all these new people who have no impact on my life and are only around because his other baby-mama felt compelled to facebook stalk and track his bio-family down? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ZRUGVGt0B901KKAnB4lcW31eXnENnKYx | av6b2z | {
"description": "not wanting to share my pregnancy with in-laws when my father in law might be dying",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to share my pregnancy with in-laws when my father in law might be dying? | My father in law has had cancer for about a decade. Now he has developed a Xanax (not prescribed) addiction and keeps passing out. He likes to sneak 8 bars at a time. He and I have never been close because long before he met me, he decided he’s dying and shouldn’t start new relationships with anyone. He is very religious, however, and has always been pushy for us to have kids throughout our marriage (3 years). I’ve always felt more like a walking womb to him than a person.
My husband’s mother is diagnosed but untreated bipolar and can be very mean spirited at the wrong times. She keeps no secrets and gossip is her favorite past time. For example, when I confided in her that I wanted to ask her daughter to be a bridesmaid, she told her before I could ask and talked shit about it. She told me she’d always wished she could have married my husband (it’s weird and a lot to unpack)...
My husband is now insisting we tell his parents about my pregnancy because of his father’s constant fainting. I just got to 12 weeks and I haven’t even had my NIPT yet (chromosomal abnormality test). I have a history of miscarriage and inability to get pregnant. It sucks. Also, telling people about miscarriage is more awkward than most can imagine and it’s a pretty personal affair. At the moment, my body is going pretty nuts and I’d rather not talk about the common symptoms with my in laws unless I’m sure I get to have this baby. Does his dad’s cancer override my medical privacy? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mRWHv8qKcTaLTAamKphxa3iCPbXYYxsZ | 9yn5aw | {
"description": "not wanting to spending more time helping out with my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to spending more time helping out with my grandmother? | My [20s F] maternal grandmother [70s F] has dementia and has been living in a nursing home for the last few months. I often visit my grandmother 3 times a week on average for 1.5 hours each time and am the only family member besides my mother and aunt who visit, who sees my grandmother on a regular basis, none of the other grandchildren really bother.
As of today, my mother has suggested that I start to spend every second Saturday with her and my grandmother so I can help with taking my grandmother out for the afternoon and keeping her entertained. My mother and grandmother usually go these outings just the two of them and it's never been raised as an issue until today. My mum says she sometimes finds it difficult to keep my gran entertained when out and about or at home for a few hours as my gran will either get bored, sleepy or cranky.
I love my grandmother dearly, but my issue is that I'm a full time student and work part-time so Saturday is the only full day off I have to spend time with my boyfriend, see friends or do activities so I usually like to have some plans.
It also has to be said, throughout this year, I have been by my grandmother's bedside for hours every day whilst she was in the hospital and spent several weeks and months watching and caring for her whilst she was living with us, so it's not like i've not been helping out.
I feel like after bringing this up, my parents are trying to guilt trip me and back me into a corner and making demands like "you will be doing it" and "your grandmother looked after you when you were young" and how shocked and appalled they are at my hesitance.
AITA for being unhappy about this and WIBTA for potentially saying no to this arrangement? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qYRZxAAxxaRcLU0bG9JmgtlZPk0BqRtQ | b6lzze | {
"description": "confronting two of my friends for excluding me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA if I confront two of my friends for excluding me? | Throwaway account because these two friends know my Reddit account.
So I (16M) am friends with two other people (15M, 16F). Everything is purely platonic, and we enjoy spending time together.
Some context: Two weeks ago, I had a pretty big argument with M about something completely unrelated. Name-calling, shouting, etc. We got over it within a few days, but things are still wobbly.
Two months ago, I had a smaller argument with F. It went something along the lines of me saying, 'You never tell me anything,' and her responding, 'Yeah, because you wouldn't listen, and you don't try in our friendship.'. I apologised later that day.
For a while, I've noticed the two of them spending a lot of time together without inviting me along. Conversations about schoolwork, homework, banal stuff, but excluding me nonetheless. Sometimes it's whispering behind my back, gossiping about anything under the sun. Other times they're just having a laugh while I try to figure out what's so funny.
It certainly doesn't help that they have the same tastes in music, are in the same classes for almost everything, are assigned to group projects all the time, and are applying for the same summer programs this coming June.
Whenever I try to insert myself into one of their conversations, they either ignore me or dismiss me with one sentence before resuming their riveting exchange. I guess I just feel taken for granted, like they only keep me around for comedic relief or for homework help.
Here's the part I think I'll get criticised for saying: I feel like F only interacts with M over me, because he is much better-looking than me. I'm not trying to be a 'niceguy'----I genuinely feel that if only I was more attractive, maybe she'd start talking to me as well as M. Keep in mind, there's zero romance involved.
I mean, I don't think I'm being jealous. M *is* handsome, and he works out a lot. He's funny, and is pretty cool. But as far as other traits go, he's had a reputation for being a bit of an asshole, for being a bully to students he doesn't like, and especially for having an inferiority complex. He and I compete in everything, from maths to language to sciences.
As for me, I'm confident, I get top grades, I make F laugh, I'd say I'm fun to hang out with. But based on her behaviour, I'm guessing that purely on the grounds that I'm not as appealing to look at as M, she prefers him to hang out with over me.
So, AITA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
AWrk7ECdRr9E4duFpIjXnUfDhsPpoBnm | b4yx07 | {
"description": "suing my ex for child support that I don't need",
"pronormative_score": 284,
"contranormative_score": 92
} | AITA for suing my ex for child support that I don't need | My ex and I split when he was a resident. Now he's a surgeon. I'm a lawyer, so I make good money on my own. I have custody of our daughter and he has visitation every other weekend. He's been paying me a small amount child support that I've been using for treats or putting into a college fund. However, now that he is a surgeon, he's making significantly more, and I'm taking him to court for an adjustment. A lot of friends and family are calling me greedy for pursuing child support when I could raise her easily without it, but I think I'm entitled to the money so I can grow her college fund faster. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 87,
"OTHER": 254,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 30,
"INFO": 22
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 284,
"WRONG": 92
} | RIGHT |
90ru0bvYJfHnesbXMaqUSdeADv6qVIwg | b8myr4 | {
"description": "not wanting to attend my stepsister and her stoner Dale gribble baby daddy's (3rd) baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to attend my stepsister and her stoner Dale Gribble baby daddy's (3rd) baby shower? | A little background: My dad married my stepmom when I was 4 years old. My stepmom has a daughter that is 2 months younger than me (now 28). My bio mom and her bio dad were out of the picture for most of our lives. I also have a younger full bio blood sister that I was raised with. I am very close with my bio sister but have always struggled with with my step sister. Throughout my childhood and teenage years my stepsister continually bullied my sister and I and frequently spread rumors about us at school. She was just in general a complete terror to live with (full blown temper tantrums into adulthood, only calls when she needs something, threw my dog at me once while calling ME a bitch, etc.). Around age 18 she ran away with an older boyfriend (stoner Dale Gribble) of 2 weeks after being caught seeking him into my parents' house. Since she left my parents' house I didn't hear from her a whole lot except when she wanted something. She didn't speak to our parents for years and spent many years where she stopped calling father dad and started refusing to him by his first name. This had to be super hurtful to him as my dad raised her and her bio dad was never in the picture. A year and a half ago my dad took his own life after a lengthy illness. It was very painful and unexpected. Since then my step sister has been around a lot more due to moving back to the area and my dad not being around to curb my stepmom's spending on my step sister. My step sister is now pregnant by the same boyfriend she ran away with at 18 for the 4th time unexpectedly, 3rd pregnancy she has decided to to keep. She just had a baby last April and this one is due in May. My stepmom is really pushing me to go to the baby shower to "support" my "sister" but I REALLY do not want to go. On top of my step sister being one of the most toxic people in my family she also constantly feels the need give me advice on how to get pregnant and how to be a good parent. This is coming from a woman who lives in a tiny apartment with soon to be three kids, three cats, some fish and a stoner version of Dale Gribble baby daddy (SDGBD). I could deal with all the dumb advice if my husband and I didn't keep lose pregnancies, one of which was topic and nearly killed me about a year ago. SDGBD also has a habit of saying inappropriate things about my pregnancies losses such as asking if they had to "cut my baby out" in front of my 6 year old nephew (bio sister's kiddo) causing him to be sad that I'm a "mommy without a baby." Stoner Dale has also informed my 5 year old niece (his daughter) of my pregnancies apparently because she enjoys giggling to people at the dinner table that I "killed my babies and let them die." My husband has told me I shouldn't go and I'm NTA but I know my stepmom will play the dead dad card and make me feel like shit. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lZmZ0MFUBAmXgXPvdhB81flODWxoTYG8 | ackvmg | {
"description": "being polite",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being polite? | I've been accused of being two-faced, because when I'm around someone I don't like, I'm pleasant with them, we have polite conversation, we joke a little bit, but then when they leave or something somebody always asks "Hey I thought you didn't like that person?"
"I don't."
"Then why were you nice to them?"
"I was being polite."
I don't know, how am I supposed to act then? Be bitchy and have an attitude, or ignore them? I don't go out of my way to talk to people I don't enjoy but, if your parent or SO likes the person how else are you too to act? Why are people surprised? I thought this was common.
TLDR: I feel like I'm just being courteous, but other think I'm two-faced | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bdXjv6d2k5bwcdC9bCBj6CzUZWhRnA04 | a972k2 | {
"description": "not going on my sisters cruise wedding",
"pronormative_score": 61,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not going on my sisters cruise wedding? | Backstory: My husband and I have been married over 3 years and together for 7. I’m 8 months pregnant with our first child. I just finished my bachelors in accounting this month.
Info that pertains to the story: My old brother missed our wedding due to him getting the reception and ceremony times mixed up. We got married about 45 minutes from where we live.
My in laws are really awesome people. They are supportive and never guilt us over anything. We take vacations with them for several reasons. They plan vacations 2 years in advance. Most of the time we just have to pay for flights. Which for someone that is paying for their last semesters of school, it’s really helpful.
We were planning on taking a vacation with my family in January. My parents knew we were trying and told them we would go if we didn’t get pregnant too fast. We got pregnant really fast and couldn’t go.
My husband and sister had a huge falling out. My sister was 15 at the time & slept over at our house. I went to work at 6 am. They were hanging out. My husband told my sister she needed to put on a bra, because he could see things that made him uncomfortable. She then acted as if he was hitting on her.
I was abused by my step grandpa from a very young age. My husband has been my rock. I can’t count the times he’s gone to therapy with me to help me through everything. I don’t by for a second that my husband hit on my sister. I have 4 other sisters whom I’ve asked if he ever made them uncomfortable, never. I’ve had two really close friends that lived with us. I asked them if he’s even hit on them or made them uncomfortable, never. This caused a huge rift in my family as I sided with my husband.
Now my family acts as if this didn’t happen.
On to the actually story:
My 18 year old sister (the one who had an issue with my husband) is getting married. In October, on a cruise. We had two trips already planned for this year. First is a family reunion with my husbands family. Again, we only have to pay for flights. Been planned for over two years. My family has a cabin in Alaska. We really wanted to go last year but I couldn’t as I was taking summer school classes. We planned on going this year. My in laws really wanted to go with us. We bring friends so this isn’t an issue. We only have to pay for flights, food to share, and any fishing trips we’d like to do.
My husband and I both make pretty good money, but we just remodeled our house due to the baby coming. We pay a mortgage and have two car payments.
On to the cruise, we have to pay for my 9 month old baby to go as a full person. This means we have to put down a deposit of $750 before the 28th of December. We have to pay to fly down to the state of the cruise. We have to pay for a rental car to drive at least another hour. And probably have to pay for a motel for the night. I’m total over $3,000 at least.
I told my parents that I was really nervous draining my savings to put this deposit down for a cruise right before our first child. My dad called and was really upset. He said that we have shunned their family. (We haven’t. We still visit and hang out.) That we only go on vacations with my in laws. That the only reason we were going to Alaska was because my in laws were going. He offered to pay for my baby to go on the cruise, but I already owe them thousands for my car. Which I pay them $500 each month for. I don’t want to have them pay for my baby or owe them more money. They said we needed to drop the thing that happened with my sister (now it’s just a misunderstanding). But it makes my husband uncomfortable. I would be uncomfortable hanging out with someone that accused me of pretty much being a pedophile.
My step mom text me this morning that I should take my dads offer. That they didn’t think that I would act this way after my brother missed my wedding. (He’s a 25 year old that has no kids that had to drive 45 minutes. I wasn’t even upset with my brother. He was already upset enough at himself)
It’s not that we don’t want to go, I’m just trying to go what’s best for my family. My husband is upset that my family is guilt tripping me and that they upset me. I’ve been crying most of the day yesterday as I’m a huge tender heart and am very susceptible to guilt.
I’m not sure what to do. I’ve had such bad anxiety today and feel terrible. We are having Christmas Eve dinner at their house tonight and I don’t know what to do or say. I just don’t know if I’m the asshole here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 56,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 61,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
u38YyNmj6g5f6s0OUXKkKFNajeMesquV | 9x8l28 | {
"description": "hitting a guy who stole a bag of joints out of my pocket at a concert",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For hitting a guy who stole a bag of joints out of my pocket at a concert | Hi all, first post here. As you can tell from this username, I no longer partake in the smoking of cannabis, but I've been thinking about this incident that occurred about 10 years ago.
I had recently moved to a new area and was at a crowded outdoor reggae concert by myself. I brought a small bag of joints to share and had maybe smoked one when a cute girl approached and started talking to me. After a minute she turned and ran away, I immediately checked my pockets and realized someone had stolen the bag.
After a few minutes of searching, I see the girl sitting next to a dirty looking guy in the open field behind the crowd. I quickly walked through the crowd getting as close to them as possible, at this point I can see him holding the bag laughing and talking to the girl.
By the time he saw me and started to stand, I was right there and just hit him once, hard, across the jaw. He went down quick, bag still in hand. I grabbed the joints and just walked back into the crowd as the girl screamed at the top of her lungs. I ended up just leaving since I really dont like to fight, but I don't regret taking back what was mine. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xfiQhr8GURNV1AdpISKNAdyAyDFD8zqn | b5d1uy | {
"description": "rejecting a girl and having a new girlfriend the week after",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for rejecting a girl and having a new girlfriend the week after? | Gotta admit there's more to it than the title says.
Last semester a new girl (lets call her Sarah) joined our school and she was pretty alone which is why i brought her into my friends circle. I've had a girlfriend at that time and noticed that the new girl was crushing on me. She kept a lowkey flirty attitude and said it was all fun and games (i played along sometimes). Throughout the semester we got really close and helped each other out a lot and talked more.
Midway through my gf cheated on me and broke up, told the new girl about it and she spend a lot of time with me trying to get through this etc.
A week later Sarah confessed her feelings to me but i rejected her since i was still having heart ache from my last relationship. She took it cool and nothing really changed and we kept talking, sometimes pretty flirty. This went on for 2 more months till the semester was over. At the last day of school we went into a nice bar and spend about 4 hours just talking on and on. Sarah eventually asked me if i could imagine being in a relationship with her but i took quite some time to think of what to say. She rephrased her question and asked if i want to move our relationship into more of a friend level or into a closer one. I told her that i would rather be friends for now since I'm still pretty fucked up from my last relationship. Although it looked like she died a bit on the inside, she was still happy to talk to me and nothing really changed.
We had a week of holidays in which we still texted each other but never really managed to meet. The first two weeks of school she even helped me to make my own schedule and she helped me with some other school stuff as well. A few weeks later on a weekend i was out with friends and met a new girl(lets call her Kate), it was more or less love on first sight but i couldn't bring myself to tell Sarah about her.
I was at Kate's place and got to know her parents and we eventually got together, Sarah didnt know anything about it and we still kept talking. A week ago on Monday i went to school with a bunch of love bites on my throat/neck and Sarah noticed, quite visible sad but didn't say anything. We still talked but she seemed rather depressed whenever she saw me. On Wednesday we stood outside and another friend of mine came and asked me about Kate while i was standing next to Sarah. Sarah just walked away and i haven't spoken to her in about a week and dont really know what to do. Am i the asshole?
Sorry for the textwall and for my grammar. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
qLQvxZB8LyT5GCzPPcpxocJ785Qt6w7v | 9y3pgo | {
"description": "blocking a woman I have been talking to for two weeks, asking repeatedly for a little bit of her time to actually go out and do something and she always has a excuse not to",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking a woman I have been talking to for two weeks, asking repeatedly for a little bit of her time to actually go out and do something and she always has a excuse not to? | We have been talking for a month total. We met for dinner one time and she seemed to enjoy my company as much as I did hers. That was two weeks ago and she can never seem to find time to do anything since then however we text daily. Last night she sent me a text and a picture of her out with a bunch of friends at a bar even after she told me she wasn’t feeling well and not in the mood to go out.
Basically I have been constantly brushed aside.
Would I be an asshole for just ignoring her in the future?
I did reply to her last text and explained that I was quite upset over the situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ekQyk62894JAPxAS3npLRVWGHGFnzoF6 | b7p6ar | {
"description": "leaving my dad and moving to my mom's",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my dad and moving to my mom's? | Recently, I(17M) have moved out of my dad's to go to my mom's. This all happened after multiple arguments with my dad during us moving into a new house. This culminated into a big argument where my dad threatened to beat me if I didn't get out of his way when I was trying to get him to calm down as my stepmom came into the house drunk. Add to it having to hear my stepmom ask for me to drive her away from everything, I felt like I was going to break.
So, I decided then I was going to go to my mom's. My dad was very upset. He constantly told me about how he tried his best to raise me and he's sorry I don't like him, but I don't dislike him. He's my dad and I love him. Still, he's continued in texts saying that I have changed and to be careful of who I trust. My mom says it's just him being a narcissist, but what if he's right? Is it right for me as his son to leave him after all he's done for me? Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BGtKPmJIjuNymoVf8FAwIiBxyfMQy4sq | 9wkvxe | {
"description": "telling my parents my little brother will never get better",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my parents my little brother will never get better? | I am a middle school girl with two brothers, a twin brother and a little brother, both with autism. But it's clear to anyone who's known my little brother .5 seconds that he's severely very autistic. He's 9 years old, still watches cartoons on Netflix all day, can't form sentences other than 'Hi' or 'My name is (name)'. He does a lot of therapy, but nothing ever seems to work. He's always been the same.
So I told my mom and dad. They got really angry at me, and I can see why, but they've got to face reality. It seems harsh, I know, but I think it's harsher to live believing in such a foolish dream like they think.
Am I the asshole?
(Sorry for bad grammar or improper storytelling I've never been the best at writing) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
7wcDjiAxcUvcLwDwtT2ScvF44G35QmHv | b1ydso | {
"description": "not telling my dad about the other men my mom slept with",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not telling my dad about the other men my mom slept with? | Sorry for format if anything, on mobile, I'll try and make this short.
Some backstory - While I can say my parents love me, they definitely weren't nicest tbh. My mother would psychology abuse me and my dad never payed attention to me when it came to my emotions, telling me to just man up. Both had a rough past cause my dad used to drink and hit my mom and me (I have 2 older sisters, but as far as Ik he didnt do anything to them.) And as I said, is bad with emotions, thinking they aren't necessary.
I'm sorry if some info seems useless, just thought it helps. So, in sophomore year of high school, my mother started to talk to other men online on Facebook. My mother told my sisters who in turn told me and we were very upset with ourselves. What made us feel shitty is that we said to ourselves if it was the other way around, we'd tell our mom straight up. But here we are keeping it a secret from our father. It got to the point where I actually helped my mother see one of the men she was talking to. She even pleaded with me to keep it a secret from my dad and sisters that I was doing that. Now, in senior year of high school, I come to see my parents cuddling on the couch and looking sad. They said it was nothing but I knew what happened. My dad found one of the messages my mom sent to one of the men, and obviously shit hit the fan. But after all that, they came to terms with each other and then worked on their relationship. But I learned that he found out about 1 of the men and she never told him it was multiple other guys, to this day she still never told the truth. He still believes it was only 1 guy, and my sisters eventually let go of the situation, saying they didnt care anymore. Also, after my dad found out, he started to become a bit more open, hes still a bit of an ass but I can see he's trying. I may not like my father but I do believe he deserves this truth, it's only right. It's been 3 years since the "truth" came out and we're all still lying to him.
Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
o0IbyOtgEyAhkhrhU9D7LkQVv8ul6D7c | auakf7 | {
"description": "cutting off a carpool arrangement after a classmate and I were in an accident together",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA For cutting off a carpool arrangement after a classmate and I were in an accident together? | First time poster, and I’m on mobile, so please bare with me.
A little background detail:
I started school a few months ago and have a carpool arrangement with one of my classmates. This was supposed to make things easier on both of us financially. We had agreed to split gas 50/50 and, because I know he has 3 kids at home, and I’m too nice of a person to start a confrontational discussion, I have been very lenient about him missing payments. He’s now more than $400 behind. My boyfriend and family wanted me to cut off the arrangement a while ago, but I didn’t want to leave my classmate stranded.
Now for the accident:
We were on our way out of town in my truck (we always take my truck because his car doesn’t have winter tires, and I always drive because he only has a learners permit) when we hit a patch of ice and started fishtailing. We crossed the highway, hit the ditch, and the truck rolled over twice. We are both ok, just some minor bumps and bruises, but the truck did great at protecting us while we rolled. We were both taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and the last I saw him, I was being wheeled into emergency. He was discharged before I was.
Upon being released, I tried calling his girlfriend (his phone was lost in the accident) and she then proceeded to message me reaming me out about the accident. She publicly tried to accuse me of being on my phone (my screen time and history prove that I wasn’t) and said that I intentionally put her boyfriends life in danger, along with a slue of other insults and nasty language. It is important to note that she was not in the car with us, and was not there to know exactly what happened.
Now, I’ve decided that I do not want to drive him anymore, and I don’t care if he doesn’t have another way to get around. I feel as though his girlfriend verbally attacked me for something that was in no way my fault, and if he’s not feeding her false information, he’s perpetuating it by not correcting her.
So, WIBTA if I just cut off our arrangement and don’t pick him up for school next week?
TL;DR - My classmate and I got into an accident, and his girlfriend verbally attacked me after. AITA if I cut off our driving arrangement and leave it to him to figure out? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
LO9Lu1zFGJu6yyBVUEeCXFOoXUKrYJMn | awao0b | {
"description": "expecting my wife to pursue a career that pays well",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for expecting my wife to pursue a career that pays well? | When I met my wife, she was pursuing a career as a stand-up comedian. She was constantly going to open mics, writing, and doing shows. She was given a highly sought after but unpaid position at our city's biggest comedy club opening for the touring headlining comic. At the time she was making 2-3k year with comedy and had no other income other than child support from an ex. She wasn't making much money but was ambitious and we loved each other, and my 60k job was enough to get us by so we got married. After that she cut back on her writing/performing and took time to be 'happy.' After a year or so of this I asked her if she really wanted to be a comedian, she said yes, and I proposed a 6 month period to get her comedy career back on track and on a trajectory to make a full time adult income. If that didn't work, she would pursue another more predictably successful career. She agreed and kept track of hours spent on comedy. It was 14hrs/week during that period and she hadn't achieved the needed success so comedy was turned into a hobby and do a new career it was.
​
She wanted to go to school to become an on-air radio personality. I shot it down b/c its another profession where there are a handful of people making enough to pay a mortgage and endless people trying to get that job and making no money. She gave me a lot of flak for this. She wanted to respond to a craigslist ad for a 26k receptionist job, but as a very intelligent woman with a BA in journalism, I knew she was capable of establishing herself in a career that would eventually pay at least 50k and set that as a minimum salary for careers to consider. She says that that is insane, and that no reasonable person would ever put an actual number, especially one so ludicrously high on an expected salary from their spouse and that before we were married, I never let her know I would have this expectation.
​
I now make much more $, so money isn't really the issue, I just didn't sign up for a sugar daddy situation and expect my wife to achieve her professional potential. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 38
} | WRONG |
IItLBo6CMSg1A4QhfTW5cvpksIR17x9U | ayjtb2 | {
"description": "not wanting to help an elderly woman in need",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to help an elderly woman in need? | Hello!
The header already makes me look like a jerk, but there is a lot of context surrounding this.
I am 22F, and my sister is 25F. My mom is an accountant, and her former client is the elderly woman in this story. I have never met this woman before in my life (my sister has met her ONCE), and I don’t even know her name. For the sake of this, I will refer to her as EF.
EF calls my sister out of the blue today. She immediately starts in and asks my sister to come over and help her. When asked about what she needs help with, EF says she needs help with everything. Doing dishes, unloading the dishwasher, laundry, helping her changed, helping her in the bath, etc. Also, due to her allergies, we need to be entirely fragrance free and to wash our clothes in only baking powder to remove any fragrances.
Apparently she is infamous for doing this with people. She gets them to help her with small stuff, then ends up committing them to hours of unpaid labor. I am also not trained at all in medical care in any sort, so I am not comfortable helping somebody with those sorts of tasks.
AITA for not wanting to help her, even though it sounds like she needs it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tujDzED8czIKaArdGFbKnaO8p8LQNVr3 | a31xwo | {
"description": "not wanting to attend a holiday party for my work",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to attend a holiday party for my work? | My workplace does two holiday parties every year. One of them is at the workplace, during work hours (for two hours) about a week before Christmas and cost $20 per person. The other one is hosted at an outside venue on the Friday before Christmas from 7pm-midnight or so and cost $25 per person (plus a cash bar). I do plan to attend the party that will be hosted at my place of work, and have attended in the past, however I have no interest in attending the second holiday party for a multitude of reasons.
•I am years younger than my coworkers. I'm talking at least 2-4 decades younger. There are maybe five other people within 10 years of my age.
•I don't drink
•There is one person attending the party that has made me extremely uncomfortable in the past with inappropriate invitations (dance classes, food, etc.) and conversations after doing my best to make it clear that I was uninterested.
•I don't want to pay $25 for a party that I don't even want to be at
•I thoroughly enjoy spending this time with my family who gets together for the holidays.
​
I am asked nearly every day when I plan on paying for my entry fee to this party. Every time I explain that I do not plan on going, I get dirty looks, whiny remarks, or people asking for further explanation on why I don't want to go. AITA for not wanting to attend this holiday party?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1ADJrkjGPEMdcI7Hh0LdC5agoJ33XvoV | awj2zj | {
"description": "having a crush on my teacher despite her being a dick to everyone I like",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for having a crush on my teacher despite her being a dick to everyone I like | I’m a 17 year old female student and I study in an all girls school, and I have a massive idolisation/crush on my 40 smth year old female drama teacher.
Problem doesn’t lie in the crush (altho I’m a but of an asshole for having one I know from someone that last time she found out a student liked her she freaked but thats not the main issue) but she basically yells at my friends a lot for the little mistakes they do: not combing their hair will spiral into an hour lecture about self image, the chairlady not realising one student in drama has contraband lipstick on is another (it was me) ,,, basically she’s shitty. But I believe deep down she genuinely cares its just that her constant fluctuation between funny and mad makes most people hate her.
So i tell my friend who’s in drama club that I like her, just for comedic effect (like,,, joking about me and my dysfunctional state around this teacher is funny) but then the next day my teacher goes a bit mad and screams at my friend for a full hour and kinda pulls her parents into it, and when asked why she took so long by school staff says my friend had some emotional issues (well,,, she couldn’t have said that she had weird life lessons to teach could she) so now my friend hates her.
Actually a handful of my friends hate her because of how she’s practically mad and her mood swings are horrendous, but I still like her a lot and I try not to defend her too much because I do find her annoying sometimes, but ultimately I find her mix of sadistic and caring really cute (yeah I know its weird but just,,, I’m 17 and weak please forgive me)
So AITA for liking a teacher that is so rude to my friends? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HH299UPq8MMeOrZFMEz7406cBydjDZe0 | asjris | {
"description": "telling my gf that I want to be one of my cousin's fiance's groomsman",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my GF [24F] that I want to be one of my cousin's fiance's groomsman? | I \[25 M\] got asked to be a groomsman for a wedding later on in the year, told my GF about it and she gave me an ultimatum of either being with HER or being a GROOMSMAN. Of course I chose being a groomsman because it'll be my first time doing it and the guy is like a big brother to me. Also, I will be walking with one of my female cousins during the wedding, I see this as no big deal.
​
Background: Been with this girl for about 3 months now and I told her about this today and she threw a fit about it and made me choose a decision. (She could've also been my date if we would have still been dating up until the wedding.) She tells me she doesn't like me being around other women because she thinks they will steal me away from her and she doesn't want them touching or staring at me.
​
She left me tonight but I'm not sad or emotionally because I feel like this is a dumb situation to leave someone lol?
​
Did I a dodge a bullet with this girl? Does this girl fit the description of someone controlling or crazy?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bOxFuMEu8ihnmSJljl8l3VOi569oixMG | b5ckbi | {
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for how he handled my abortion",
"pronormative_score": 85,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for how he handled my abortion | My boyfriend and I were using the pull-out method and I got pregnant. I know, stupid. We've since started using condoms.
I got the abortion pills (which we'd agreed I'd take if it ever came to that) and took them at home this weekend.
About 5 minutes after I took the pills, my boyfriend headed out to the gym. He asked me if I wanted to come as he was leaving, so I texted asking if he seriously thought I should work out while miscarrying, and he responded that he had forgotten. It bothered me a little that he didn't think to stay with me, but I figured I'd handle it on my own, so I didn't ask.
Less than a half hour later, I was in horrible pain, uncontrollably puking all over the bed, so I called him and asked him to come back. He came right away and put the sheets in the laundry, and everything else in the bathtub (I washed them the next day). He asked me if he could go back to the gym, but then seemed to feel bad (I was curled up in agony at this point) and said forget it.
He stayed home for the rest of the night and got me water and ice packs whenever I needed them, which I really appreciate.
But I was in horrible pain for hours, and I kept asking him to talk to me to distract me, and he would say like a sentance, and then go back to reading on his phone, until I reminded him to talk again. He kept saying he couldn't think of anything to say, but.
A- he's a massively talkative person who I've spent hours listening to when he's on long winded rants, and now suddenly when I need him to say literally anything to keep me distracted, he's speechless.
B- I asked if he'd read me a book, and he kept changing the subject when I'd suggest it.
I get not wanting to entertain someone for hours, but considering this pregnancy was both our responsibilities, yet I was the one going through the hell of the abortion, I feel like it's a fair ask that he at least read me a book while I sit in pain for the both of us.
I told him that I feel like he spent his time wishing he was anywhere but there, and he pointed out that he helped a lot and I wasn't being appreciative.
I'm grateful that he gave me physical support for what I couldn't get on my own, but I feel like he dropped the ball on emtional support, which I really needed.
AITA for being mad at the lack of emotional support? Should I just be grateful for the support he did provide and let it go? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 60,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 25,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 85,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
miC3y6M2c1DeTIi0a8oPrMcFlBdWD5ki | aq6t6s | {
"description": "pestering someone to deliver on a promise that they repeatedly insist they're going to do, but haven't done for nearly 3 years",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for pestering someone to deliver on a promise that they repeatedly insist they're going to do, but haven't done for nearly 3 years? | Okay so, this is a very long story, but I'll try and make it as short as possible (it's still really long)
Nearly 3 years ago, one of my doctors noticed that I always brought a handheld game system into the office while I waited. He outright asked me if I wanted some of his video games. He told me that, and I quote, he "lives in excess" and has "multiples of pretty much every game console" in his house. So he said it'd be no big deal to give me one or two of his consoles and some games. Again, *he* asked *me* if I wanted them. I was *not* the one to beg to him in the first place.
At the time, he asked me to write down a list of what consoles and games I'd be most interested in, bring it in to him next time I came in, and he'd try and throw something together before the following appointment. So I did.
However, when I came in for the following appointment, there was no box of games. He told me something came up and he didn't have the chance to do it. Okay, fine. I'm in no hurry. No big deal. But he said next time, for sure, he'd have something for me.
If the title of this thread was any indication... "next time" never seemed to come...
I go to his office just about every month. I've been going there for nearly 3 years now. And every time I saw him, I was met with a "Sorry, something came up. But I promise I'll have it for you next time."
Eventually, I outright said to him "Look, if you can't do it for some reason, I understand. Just... tell me you can't do it and I'll stop asking.", but no, he insists that he will TOTALLY have something for me "next time".
During all of this time, I've also been talking to his son who works in the office (he's not a doctor, he just works in the office doing office things) about various things, including all of the promises his dad keeps making. He has also insisted that he'll try and help throw something together for me. I've also told him as well that if he can't, just tell me he can't and I'll drop it... but just like his dad, he insists that he'll have something for me next time, every time.
So this has been going on for a long time now. Nowadays, the doctor in question doesn't even really work in that office anymore (he has multiple offices that he owns) and I usually see one of the other doctors there. The doctor's son however still works there, and he still insists that he's totally gonna get some games together for me.
Fast forward to the beginning of January 2019. It was the first Friday of the month, and I once again ran into the doctor's son. He **outright says to me** "Good news! My dad finally got together a box of games for you! So this weekend I'll go pick it up and have it here for you by Monday. I'll call you to let you know when to pick it up!"
Wanna guess what happened?
Monday came and I heard nothing. By Friday that week, I still heard nothing. So I called the office and asked to speak with him. The person answering the phone told me that he was in a meeting and he would call me back ASAP. Never heard from him.
So the following Monday, I called again. Same thing. Called again on Friday. Same thing. No return call whatsoever.
Fast forward to February 1st (Friday), I had another appointment there. So I walked into the office and asked to speak with him. After a few minutes, he came out and told me that he'd been busy and hadn't had the chance to go to his dad's place and get the box of games, but that he was, *absolutely* going to his dad's house that weekend, would pick up the box of games and would bring it in on Monday, for sure, 100%, he insisted as hard as a person can possibly insist that something is, for sure, going to happen.
Guess what didn't happen!
Monday comes and nothing. Friday comes and nothing. So I called this Monday morning and once again asked to speak with him. Was told that he wasn't in yet, and that they would send him a message and mark it as high priority.
It is now Wednesday and I am still yet to hear from him and am getting increasingly irritated at repeatedly being told "soon" even though "soon" never seems to come.
AITA for pestering him to follow through with his promise that he and his father have continued to insist is going to happen?
**tl;dr: Doctor and his son insist that they're going to give me a box containing some of their video game consoles, but haven't delivered nearly 3 years later and refuse to tell me that they can't do it. Also of note is that THEY offered it to ME, I was not the one to inquire in the first place.** | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
IUYg0pb7ykYV8JvEQgbSov47ZorI9JwK | ajl0zb | {
"description": "calling my \"friends\" fake",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for calling my “friends” fake. | I was a in High School. I really didn’t have any friends that year, but I found a “friend group” who I usually hung out with. Here are some examples of who they really were.
Major event one: I gave a ride to one of my “friends” to one of our other friends show. I agreed, and she came along with my folks who also wanted to go. She was grateful. Fast forward and I didn’t have a ride to a party. I asked anyone in the group chat for a ride if they could, and that girl automatically tells me to stop being needy and makes me feel like shit. Note this was the only time I ever asked for anything in that group.
Major event two: they threw a party and sent info to the chat. I asked where it was. No response. I had a vague idea of where it was cuz of the neighborhood so my mum took me. Two hours go by and I see a snap chat of everyone having a good time and another couple hours later still no response, I got my mom to pick me up from where I was, cried my eyes out, and told my mom I have no friends no one cares about me (side note: I love my mom, and I can tell even yelling that to her made her upset)
Lastly the big one: I told someone who I trusted that I thought that group was fake and they weren’t real friends. One day out of the bloom one person said that “Hey why does (my name) say we’re fake?” I had a moment, breathed in, and told them they were fake. They were complete assholes to me, and I don’t know why I considered them friends. They all felt like I was an asshole for saying that, and I left that group saying that they were all fake.
I have many more of these to tell, because I feel like an asshole for being mean, but question am I really after looking at the whole picture and seeing what other people did.
TL;DR Group of “friends” made me feel bad, called them out, never spoke to them again | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EZlWLkf8phOPzLq83qgiQ2BggPXumwGZ | b0o5g9 | {
"description": "making my husband take down his wall mounted guns",
"pronormative_score": 119,
"contranormative_score": 198
} | AITA for making my husband take down his wall mounted guns? | My husband is a veteran, who enjoys everything that has to do with guns. During the week he goes to the range with his friends around 1-3 times. On the weekends he’ll usually be hunting or participating in his rifle association. He also suffers from PTSD, insomnia, and depression so I try to let him do the things he enjoys to help him with his hardships.
Fast forward to the present, I have never hosted a event for my family as I have always been super busy with work. My nephew, who I love very dearly was about to turn 2, so I decided to offer to host the party for my sister since I know her house is extremely messy since she has to take care of a infant.
Once I started cleaning I realized how unsuitable our home might appear to guests, we have many flags, medals, and guns mounted everywhere around the house. I decided that the biggest thing that needed to be addressed were the weapons, so I asked if we could temporarily take them down.
He agreed to take them all down except for one, which is located right above our fireplace. His reason being that his very close friend died literally by his side in battle, and something he had always promised was to keep and honor all of his memorabilia, as he doesn’t have a wife or children.
He believes removing his weapon from the mantle would be a dishonor to his friend, and thinks that he is already being accommodating enough by removing the rest of the weapons.
I’m not that satisfied on one hand I do empathize for my husband, on the other I don’t want parents to be uncomfortable with a weapon in their view, especially with kids around.
Any advice is appreciated, if you have any questions feel free to ask. I’m getting ready for work currently so I might not be able to reply quickly but I will definitely get around to it.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 197,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 85,
"INFO": 5
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 119,
"WRONG": 198
} | WRONG |
z1iwTR4nmwI6MbHtb9Dve9vzEIKVCKVH | abk1yl | {
"description": "telling my would-be girlfriend's ex that she left him for me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for telling my would-be girlfriend's ex that she left him for me? | A couple of months ago I [24M] started developing feelings toward my friend [24F] who happened to have a boyfriend at that time. It turned out that she also liked me and their relationship was going downhill for some time.
Finally, she broke up with him (after a 5-year relationship) and we started dating. He never knew about my existence and she didn't tell him that I was the reason for the breakup. As far as I knew, he still loved her and wanted to be with her, but she didn't feel anything toward him anymore.
After dating for three months we started to have some disagreements. Basically, I became very involved and wanted her to be my full-time girlfriend, while she wanted to stay in a more loose, friends-with-benefits kind of relationship (but remain faithful to each other). I became frustrated, because I was the only one initiating contact and meetings and she never wrote me first. Shortly before Christmas we decided to have a break and stop seeing each other for some time.
At a New Year's Eve party (that she didn't attend), our mutual friend who has very good contact with her told me that she started seeing her ex.
I was heartbroken (and drunk). I did a very stupid thing. I wrote to him that I was the reason for the breakup and that we dated and she wanted to come back to him because it didn't work out well with me.
He thanked me and immediately told her about it. Needless to say, she hates me now.
It turned out that they only met to talk. Our mutual friend portrayed it like she definitely wanted to get back to him, which turned out not to be true.
I feel like I did a good thing for him telling him the truth. But I broke her trust and probably destroyed my relationship with her (and i still love her). I am also very angry at myself because I was drunk and misinformed and wouldn't do it in other circumstances. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
b7YOXG1vYY0FULa1MjHVK9m98irkpxXJ | a1k9ai | {
"description": "making a kid cry by not letting him play with my camera",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for making a kid cry by not letting him play with my camera? | In every wedding reception I've experienced there's always a Curious George waiting for me as I take photos. Usually 4 or 5 years old, follows me around everywhere because I'm doing something cool, unlike the adults who are sitting.
I'm usually really friendly with them, when I get a chance I'll pop in a cheap lens and let them fiddle with the controls and make it do things. I'll sit down on the floor with them and let them pretend to be a photographer while I get my bearings on the crowd and check other stuff.
However, this particular Curious George liked to drop and throw things. Pretty purposefully it seemed, I think they just liked comparing dropping different masses of objects..I don't know, but when I sat down with them and they tried to throw my camera (still attached to my body via sling) he was automatically fired. Picked him up, said loudly "no. You do not throw other people's stuff" and pulled the camera from his hands. He began wailing and screaming until the mother came up and started shouting at me for making her kid cry.
I said he tried to throw my camera and first she asked why on Earth I'd give him my camera like she's never played with her kid, and then said it could handle it and I should have gotten her first.
The groom, also my friend, said I upset a large portion of his now wife's family and they don't want to see me again and don't want him to pay me.
Am I the asshole in this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
zLbTMwtrycC1sugZkidDl4o6IEvMTcNI | aius8m | {
"description": "wanting to play a flaky friend at their own game",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to play a flaky friend at their own game? | So some friends from work, we (used to, I guess) like to have a get together at this brewery twice a month to play a card game after work. I message one of said friends earlier in the day asking if she is going to be there with us, and I get no reply.
I find out later that she went to the same brewery an hour before us, before the rest of us could get off work, and had already left before we got there. She even sent out a text later showing she was there.
She has had a history of being chronically flakey, but this is just a slap in the face the way it went down. Maybe I'm taking this too personally but it seems like a big "fuck you" not just to me but to everyone in our group especially considering it was at the same place we were JUST ABOUT TO BE. I'm about 90% sure she had nothing else going on.
Am I the asshole for wanting to purposely flake out on the next thing she arranges? I'm just so tired of that shitty behavior from someone who is supposed to be a friend, and maybe this will give her some perspective.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
YLTTA5Cst6aDQ2XQlmFpUlf2FUM0kO65 | ardc3a | {
"description": "taking away my gaming system from the space me and my roommates share",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for taking away my gaming system from the space me and my roommates share? | Let me start off by saying that I'm not good at being a direct person. I have social anxiety and never have been good at telling people how I feel. So, lets get started. It might be long. I (19F) live with my S/O (21M) and our roommate (21M). the roommate, who we'll call Daniel, is my bfs best friend. They went to middle school and high school together, and we all attended the same high school. For some background info on how Daniel came to be my roommate, is that after me and my bf moved across the country and were living together for a few months, Daniel came to visit. He never got a ride back, and we just decided to let him move in.
"How cool will that be? Help around the house, rent spit in 3rds, and a cool friend to hang out with," We thought at first. But after a while, things didn't really go that way.
He got a job at a big name chain retailer when he first moved in. He worked almost every single day for maybe, three months? Until one day he said he got fired for reporting racism in the work place. Now, Daniel likes to lie, so we don't know whether to believe that or not.
So shortly after, he said he was joining the army. Months later, he never did.
Then he said he was joining Americorps. He submitted an application and got an interview! Daniel put down my bf's dad as a reference. My bf's dad called me and my bf one day and said, "Hey did you know Daniel doesn't have a driver's license?" Because Americorps called him and was asking about Daniel. We had no idea.
We asked him about it, to which he responded, "don't know. Just never got one." Keep in mind that he doesn't have a car. He drives me and my bf's cars, and at the time we didn't know he didn't have a driver's license.
He never got the job at Americorps.
Months pass and he doesn't apply for any jobs. Every morning I wake up and go into the shared space of the living room, and he's playing my ps3 that was my Christmas gift many years ago. And then I work full time, over fourty hours a week, to come home to see him playing my ps3 more. Every single day that's all he does. He has his own xbox one in his room, but he never plays it.
Me and my boyfriend are getting sick and tired of him doing nothing but playing video games, when my bf and I are working our asses off full time. I feel like it's unfair, and that he's using our house as a frat vacation home.
My boyfriend is getting really annoyed, but he's afraid to tell him. He doesn't know how to tell someone his own age to, "man up and get a job," and we know that if we even try to start a conversation he'll go lock himself in his room and have a douchey attitude, because that's what Daniel has always done. On top of that, my bf is just like me: he hates confrontations and is scared to bring stuff up. But he's told be before how much he hates waking up to see Daniel play video games, and then to work, come home, and watch Daniel play more video games.
Daniel is home literally all the time, but never cleaned up his messes at all. We had to initiate a chore chart to get him to clean. All he does is play my console.
The other day I got the idea to take my ps3 and move it into my room, but it took me a few days to actually do it because I knew how petty it was. But after a few more days of thinking it over and getting more and more frustrated with Daniel, I decided enough was enough. I unplugged my system and took it into my room.
Daniel has bought games for the ps3, as well as two controllers. I left those out for him, as they're his property. But the system is not.
I told my boyfriend that I'll let his friend play my system--IF he gets a job. But we haven't told Daniel. Me and my boyfriend need to learn to talk about things, I know.
I did it because I was hoping that having some time with nothing to do would make him realize he needs to get a job. I will admit I also did it to be petty, because it's my system, and he doesn't deserve it if he doesn't even have a job or a driver's license as a 21 year old.
So: AITA in this situation?
And as a side note, I'm new on reddit and also on mobile, so I apologize for any weird formatting or misused terms.
EDIT (update): thank you all for your comments and judgment. Daniel has been applying for jobs, and is getting his lisence soon. I moved the console back into the living room, because he is now making an effort. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
VaBAAaMUlR3tVk8sCVmGFbeZsnFX8L7u | aonokb | {
"description": "being really upset at my mom for taking money from me? did I overreact",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being really upset at my mom for taking money from me? Did i overreact? | This happened about a week ago and I'm still kinda pissed about it, sorry for length.
Sorry for any formatting issues (I'm on mobile) and spelling/grammar mistakes (im just stupid).
I had a snack in my room and the empty bowl was still on my bed, for some reason i had my contact case and $13 inside of it. My grandmother went downstairs (my room is in the basement) to turn my tv off after i went to school and took the bowl back up with her on her way out. She realized what was inside when she was already upstairs and since she was on her way out for work, she put it on the bathroom sink next to my tooth brush (im the only one who uses the downstairs bathroom to brush my teeth cause it's closer).
My mom was doing laundry or something and found saw the money on the counter. She then decided to take it for gas money, most likely fully aware that it was mine cause it was with my stuff. She didn't ask me and i probably would've given it to her if she did.
Later that night, i realized my money was gone and asked about it at dinner. She told me she took it and said she'd pay me back but i was still a little mad because she has an awful track record of paying me back and probably still owes me money from before to this day. She didn't even apologize and i was visibly slightly pissed off.
She and my step dad went to wawa to get my money from the atm later that night. I asked for a smoothie (that shit is like crack to me lol). It was the least she could do for taking my money and not even apologizing and she said maybe.
She comes back with drinks for herself and my step dad and i ask her for my money and if she got me a smoothie. She hands me $8 and tells me the other $5 is in her jacket downstairs. However, she didn't get me the smoothie so i was a little upset.
I go downstairs to get the other $5 and my grandmother is in the kitchen so i tell her I'm a bit upset and she told me she was about to buy it but my mother said no cause she didn't like my attitude at dinner. SHE STOLE MY MONEY. I also asked her why she put my money upstairs in the first place and she explained.
My mother overheard me and came storming down the stairs, yelling at me for "obsessing" over $8 (she spent $8 but took all $13). There's no winning an argument with my mom so i apologized and asked if i could go take a walk to blow off some steam.
I grabbed my phone, jacket, lighter, and cigarettes and leave my neighborhood in the freezing cold to get away from her (she has been physically abusive in the past so i was a little scared). Meanwhile, im texting my friend because he said i could crash at his house for the night. I knew i would get in trouble if i just went so i called my dad to see if he would cover for me (staying at his house was also an option but he was bartending and i wanted to see my friend).
My dad says he's not comfortable with covering for me but he'd leave work to pick me up and take me to his house.
I then sat in a Marshall's bathroom until he picked me up cause i was afraid of what my mother would do if i went home. She called me and started giving me shit for leaving the neighborhood and calling my dad and all i could say was "i didn't wanna spend the night at home."
AITA for leaving? The argument got pretty heated and i could take staying in the same house as her that night.
I think its kinda fucked up for a 42yo woman to take money from her 15yo son without asking or having the common decency to apologize but i kinda feel like an asshole for being so upset
TL;dr: my mother took some money from me and didn't apologize, the argument got heated, and i left to stay with my dad for the night
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
M3FhDGHHhdSChuqCt2o0FBiSEe7tGfRI | a31nya | {
"description": "criticising a student about their email style",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for criticising a student about their email style? | Last week, I attended a networking event for university students and professionals in my field. Following on from that, a couple of students emailed me.
One of them, who I'll call 'FF' has the wrong idea about how to send a follow-up networking email. In the email, FF brown-nosed in every possible way. They complimented me 3 times in the first sentence. They referred to a very specific thing we discussed in a really artificial way, clearly following some formula that says "refer back to conversational points so they know you listened/so they remember you." It was something like "I really enjoyed hearing that story about the time 3.5 years ago that your pencil broke in an exam and you had to ask for another one but the teacher gave you a pen instead and then you finished the exam!"
WIBTA if I give FF some gentle constructive criticism about their email style? On the one hand, it was cringeworthy and artificial and someone should tell them to relax and speak naturally. On the other hand, I tried to write a response in 10 different ways and every version came out like a backhanded insult.
Or WIBTA if I don't say anything? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vxQ7cHhHiwM7Z28yNuHkdpoLWOkwdqMl | b0uopa | {
"description": "\"annoying\" my fiancee while she trying to work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For "annoying" my fiancee while she trying to work. | I call my fiance from work today because she told me she was having a very bad day. The people below her at work have been doing the wrong thing for 7 months and she just found out (it's not her fault at all). But now she has to fix it somehow. Later when I leave work I talk to her on the way home and she tells me she has a head ache. I get home she is already working. So we have short cauasel conversation. I play a video game, meditate, clean cat throw up, clean the Roomba and just chill. We have some more short conversation, I think we are on the same page. Then she tells me she isn't really hungry and we should order take out. I agree and then she says she not even hungry. She said it was my fault because I was annoying her while she worked. She tells me to go get food by myself. So I walk out to my car and go attempt to get food. I just sat in parking lot with her screaming at me on the phone on how horrible I make her life( I got a smoothie). I apparently have an attitude and act like an asshole every single day when I come home from work.
This is where I genuinely understand that some days I am an asshole like my father was an asshole to my family. The most days I genuinely try to act nice and trying to uplift her day cuz I know a day of teaching is worse than my day. I feel as if something may be mentally wrong with me because I don't realize I have a bad attitude. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
adAn0hLkM00jfWc5ABj1jaKb3rb8S3UZ | at17rm | {
"description": "calling a group of girls 'hoes'",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for calling a group of girls 'hoes'? | I (20M) at university and went on a night out. Got into an argument with a friend while on the night out and decided to leave early.
Anyway as I'm heading home I see a pair of 2 girls outside my acommodation block. I remembered now that my friend in my block was also having a party and given it was 2am these girls were probably quite drunk as well by that point. As I walk past them they notice me and come up to me and start touching me and feeling me up and say "Ooooh ello ello who's this guy?".
It was a weird and cringe attempt at seduction and I don't know why they were doing it, probably just really drunk. I don't often get approached so forwardly either so I'm not used to this.
Anyway my first reaction is to say "Fuck off you hoes".
They instantly get off me and say "Fucking prick". I then go up to my flat and go to sleep. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
JGn4he9rBpbL5k0w1h6j65mwEnSsQ0Iz | 9zwsx4 | {
"description": "telling a furniture salesmen I just wanted to look around the store",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a furniture salesmen i just wanted to look around the store? | My wife, FIL, and I went shopping today as we need two beds.
We walk into a store and this interaction take place:
"Hi welcome, can I help you find something?"
"No thanks, we're just gonna look around"
"Ok, so you know what you want?"
"Not yet... We're just browsing right now"
Dude gets annoyed
"Well have you recently shopped for a bed?
"Yeah" (been researching for some time)
"So you know everything that's inside them?!"
....wtf...blank look
"I'm asking you if I can show you what I have"
"show us what you want to show us."
"Green means firm, yellow means medium, and blue means soft. I'll let you look around let me know if you have any questions"
The guy was visibly very upset. AITA for wanting to look around first? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
I18OB0QQp5AeLhp4zjK48xQLcI9Dmmhb | b5jsps | {
"description": "not going on a date with a guy in a wheelchair even though we had really good chemistry",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for not going on a date with a guy in a wheelchair even though we had really good chemistry? | This happened a few weeks ago:
I have not had much luck with online dating. Guys on apps are either creepy right off the bat or slowly become creepy as the conversation gets deeper.
So, in comes this guy, let's call him Jackson. I matched with him and we spoke for several days and he seemed to be the only dude that was not strange. Kind of took me by surprise because at any point I expected things like "so do you want to hook up?" like I've received from guys before. But Jackson was very different and actually asked me about my day, discussed my hobbies and I really enjoyed talking to him. He also mentioned that he hadn't had much luck with online dating as well so I was able to relate to him on that too.
After a few days, he was the only one I had been actively talking to and moved onto texting instead of being on the app. When he had asked me to meet up for a lunch date, I instantly said that I would do my best to request the day off from work. I immediately scheduled for the day off and it got approved but when I had entered the messages again, I noticed he said “but wait, before you do that, are you okay with me being in a wheelchair?” I told him “that’s totally fine” but that was more of a knee-jerk response because I actually wasn’t fine. I was glad he was upfront with me about that before we went on the date, rather than finding out when I got there.
So, the day before the date, I texted him “Sorry, they called me in so I have to go to work.” I had actually just cancelled the day off and went to work anyways. He replied “no problem, we’ll schedule for another time then.” A few days passed and we hadn’t talked and he sent a final message saying “I’m sorry” and he then proceeded to un-match me on the dating app too. A part of me feels that I was deceived into liking him because he wasn’t in a wheelchair in any of his pictures. But I also feel sad because I had made good conversation with him but in the end could not see myself dating him.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
50sMbnPpLv4ynwgGTnjQIRI6nGLpmAg2 | ae1o96 | {
"description": "feeling suicidal because of my mom but she is self destructive and blames herself",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA I feel suicidal because of my mom but she is self destructive and blames herself | The morning started with a confusion, I've mistaken the time my school bus comes to the morning and so my mom goes nuclear because of that, understandably. She threatens me of beating me up and stuff over the phone and I texted her "Mom, please stop. You're making me angry. You know I have depression, all the stuff you're saying makes me want to stick a knife in my stomach." I proceeded to walk to school.
Later when she comes home, she talks to me. She threatens me of putting my face to the floor, beating me up, and not caring if she goes to jail. I feel more suicidal because of this. Does she care at all for me anymore? Am I just even more of a burden now? She keeps thinking the antidepressants I'm prescribed are making me forget stuff more, even though it blatantly does not. I was always this forgetful.
In most cases, I hurt myself most times because of my mom. I'm 15. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pAwqsLPq2Dx7kKpmcQ5KJD0mlYvDQNGL | alvf9t | {
"description": "reconsidering a new friendship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for reconsidering a new friendship? | So I'm new to my town and making new friends as an adult is hard. I feel good about one woman I work with, let's call her Jane. Jane and I have a lot in common and we've gone for drinks a few times.
Cut to today. I find out she's an anti-vaxxer. She's smart, funny, educated, and we have a ton of interests in common. But.... she's an anti-vaxxer.
Do I keep building the friendship or stick with work acquaintance? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yQms5uNTBgFcwzDMKZJx5NEuwN33ieId | aleio3 | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to join my family group chat",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to join my family group chat | My bro and his gf just got engaged and I have a group chat with them and what will also be my brother in law. My girlfriend of about 2.5 Years was telling me she felt left out and wants me to add her. I’ve know my in laws for 8 years and for some reason I kinda just wanted to keep the chat private between us until we all know each other better. I haven’t told her this but I’m almost positive she will be upset. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Hitkw2jz6xbP3xHxaG6qr8GcteXONRJP | b2ughw | {
"description": "not caring my best friend cut ties with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not caring my best friend cut ties with me? | I had a +15 year friendship with a girl who we'll call B. She dated a guy called L who used to be a bully to me in HS but I thought had matured.
B had an issue with going to L's house every weekend and leaving her washing in the machine. I'd tell her to remember since it isn't our job to clean up after her, but it was pretty much every other weekend this was happening so I started being nice in asking her to clean her shit up but ended up being blunt and saying she shouldn't go to his house if she can't remember to do her chores before she leaves.
Then she had him over for a 2 week period, where he didn't work, he was alone in the house (I was super uncomfortable with that) she gave him her house key which he lost. L didn't buy food to replace what he ate, pay for the utilities he used while he was there and never cooked, or cleaned up after himself. The rental agreement was that we couldn't have anyone over who didn't live there for more than 4 days in a week.
My bf and I confronted By and L and said this had to stop because it wasn't fair. They responded with "L should move in since he's here so often"
We shut that down.
There's a lot more to it but that's the main issue we had that she couldn't admit that she wasn't doing her chores enough and had L over when he shouldn't have been. I was trying to get her to do better and because she didn't like what I was saying or maybe how I said it, she wanted to cut ties with me. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qANqB9rO2geBooMnYEqeR2mGluYXIqro | apjtxo | {
"description": "being annoyed that BF wants newly dumped friend to join us on our Valentines weekend away",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being annoyed that BF wants newly dumped friend to join us on our Valentines weekend away? |
Me (23) and my partner (26) of 6months have been planning a weekend away to his parents holiday home for a while. We do not get to spend any time together in the week because of his job, and rarely for long at all on weekends because of both of our social schedules. I often get frustrated by this but he doesn’t see it as an issue. When I do see him we end up staying in because he’s tired or hungover. When I’ve tried to plan holidays before he can never get the time off, so this weekend and a chance to spend quality time for once was really important to me.
Recently he told me his mum would also be at the house that weekend which I was fine with because yay, meeting the parents, relationship progression!
He then decided to invite his friend and his new fling to the weekend trip away. I’ve met this friend once and it was quite awkward, I felt like a massive third wheel. Thought it’ll be okay I’ll get to know him, and we could all do cute double date coupley things all weekend.
The girlfriend broke things off with him yesterday, but the friend still wants to come. My boyfriend also was very reluctant to say no to this, under the impression that it would be a really fun time. I suggested that he could just go to see his friend on the Sunday evening when we get back if he were still in a bad way but this was ignored.
Personally, I don’t want to spend what was supposed to be a romantic weekend away worrying if I’m being insensitive by being cute and cuddly with my boyfriend in front of his heartbroken friend. I don’t really want to be the third wheel in what was supposed to be my first weekend of quality time in months.
I get that he obviously wants to be there for his friend, but does the friend not have other (single) friends he can rely on for this, especially this weekend? If I were in this situation, I would not want to be around another couple.
Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
RKyhOkSYIrONF0QMbmvXaPNLBfIpf4cd | 9xe1t3 | {
"description": "flaking on friendsgiving",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for flaking on friendsgiving? | Hey guys.
Bit of context... i'm 23 M and so are my 3 room mates. We're all really good pals from HS and have stayed really solid friends since, even though we all went elsewhere for college. In HS we conveniently all had girlfriends from the same friend group - so we chilled with that friend group all the time doing stupid shit... partying, late nights, mostly getting fucked up really, typical high school shit. Since HS we have all broken up moved on etc.
​
I've really moved away from the party life, i work for a consulting firm and have a second job with a tech startup and really just dont have time anymore, nor do my buddies (okay we still get drunk together on a saturday but hey, fuck it). My pals have interesting lifes, we have inspiring conversations, it's all good. The group of girls on the other hand really has not done anything, they are all kinda spoiled AF and still party all the time (nothing wrong with that i guess). Point being i dont really chill with these people anymore because we don't have anything in common, nothing interesting to talk about, just getting drunk, yet they keep trying to pull my buddies and i back in (to chill with them and our exs), this time for a friendsgiving. We've had parties like this before and it usually ends up with my and my pals cooking some nice meat and buying alcohol to have no food support or help cleaning. Last time i had a party with them i literally had to use a toothbrush to scrape a red vine off some grainy-tile in my house.
​
I bailed, and so did my roommates,and they're guilt tripping us.
​
Am i an asshole for just not wanting to spend my Friday with a group of people who i just don't really have much interest in or respect for, even though we were once close? I feel bad because I don't want to hurt any feelings but at the same time i dont like how they keep trying to pull me in by a loose thread and i gotta keep making excuses (pick up the darn cues!)
​
How does one move away from a friend group? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
b9r793XYkGIqgIWElvZy3RnP04Su90Tn | auluga | {
"description": "shaking my leg \"chronically\" in class",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for shaking my leg "chronically" in class? | So I've had some controversy in my class about my leg issue. I got anxiety and depression and barely find a way to get my depression out. To not get overrunned by my voices (Yes that too), I got used to furiously shaking my leg. Depending on the shoes im wearing, that doesn't make too much noise but the issue is that the ground vibrates slightly.
I usually get told to stop shaking it and I do it but as soon as I stop thinking about it, my leg start shaking again. When I actually get it to stop, I feel pretty weird and I imagine not doing it would make me a bit anxious. So I'm wondering. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
L7tbdsE57h8tjxXWczwf4PJ3jLmrhpJK | au7oas | {
"description": "selling my business",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA by selling my Business | Hi first time posting on this sub. English is not my first language so please go easy on me.
1. A = business person 1
2. B = business person 2
I own a small local cafe. On the first week when I start out the cafe, I was approached by B saying he wants to buy the business. I decline since I was just starting out, but he insisted that I contact him if I ever consider selling.
5 years later, I want to sell my cafe, in which I was contact by A. A is my ex-employee (and a distance friend), he is also a good worker. A’s wife is recently pregnant (4 months) so A wants to build a family and own a cafe. He offered to pay me by 12 instalments.
I was also approached by B, who had owned a cafe before, he wants to buy the cafe for $5000 more than A over 12 instalments. He needs to take the loan from his sister. I was determined to sell to B at this point, but I didn’t say it to him. Then he went on radio silent, probably waiting for the loan.
I got restless because of the radio silent, I contacted A if he is still interested. A is interested so we began discussing about how to run the business (who is the suppliers etc). I will need to train him for 2 weeks after the sale to get him started. Things are looking like I will sell it to A, although I didn’t expressly say it. A and his wife quit their jobs because they thought they are going to get the cafe.
However, yesterday he asked for $2000 off on the first instalment, and he will reimburse in later instalments. Not a big problem since the money will be the same. Everything is set (except contract and payment) and A will own the cafe. I still had not expressly said that I will sell to him, all we did was discussing how business operates.
One day B randomly came by and with the money. This surprised me since there was no communication prior. B has money to pay the first instalment and everything else, he is ready to buy. I told him that I already talked to A and that I don’t want to break my word. B asked if A paid the first instalment yet, which he has not, so B paid me 25% of the first instalment. He too already quit his job. I told him to slow down.
That evening, A rushed to the cafe (very angry). He ask how could I do this and cried. B is chill, so he isn’t visibly upset but he clearly wants the cafe.
Here are summary of info:
1. B will run the cafe with his family of 5, which means he does not need to hire employees (big save). A only has his wife, so they need employees. This affects their prospect of paying the instalments.
2. B owned a cafe before, so he knows how to operate one. A only worked for me and has left for the past 3 years. A’s wife is also pregnant so idk how long she can work.
3. A is emotionally weak so he will not be able to hold his temper if he doesn’t get the cafe. B is emotionally strong.
4. B is paying more for the cafe and the first instalment.
5. It will break my heart for A, but I do want to sell to B because it’s practical.
WIBTA if I sell to B? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
PyUsTu5grG8ijgJvXqHT30M84YKoDz3d | b64z6h | {
"description": "despising my mother for not letting me visit my grandfather while he was on his deathbed",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for despising my mother for not letting me visit my grandfather while he was on his deathbed? | I know this sounds like one of those, "you know your NTA," post but I'm genuinely mixed about the situation and need to see what people think. If I get what I want, I'll delete this post.
For background history, my first memory is being woken up and told that my father is dead. I was not aware that he was dying. Maybe due to this, last words have always held importance to me.
I was around 14 years old, possibly about to hit 15, when I learned that my grandfather went into the hospital for complications from a disease and that he wasn't expected to make it. He's the Grandpa on my father's side, and during my younger years I saw him as a father figure. He started traveling a ton in the years before his death, so I hadn't seen him for 4 or 5 years. I begged my mother to take me to see him. She said that we would. I reminded her multiple times and each time she said that we would.
She never took me. She said, and I quote, "I didn't expect him to die." Keep in mind, we were told from the very beginning that he was on his deathbed. Afterwards I just couldn't stop thinking about how similar the situation was to my fathers death. Especially during my Grandpa's funeral.
I've always had a bit of rocky relationship with her, but that was the first time I thought that I hated my mother. I'm 16 now, and I've been attempting to actually talk to my mom more and develop a better relationship with her, but I just can't get over my grudge. I confronted her about it the other day. She denied that I ever told her we should see him, that alone made me mad as it's a plain lie. Then when I told her that, she says, "Sorry son, but you can't change the past." I'm not at all a crier, but that almost brought me to tears. How can you even say that?
Now here's the part where I wonder if I'm the asshole. I'm being light in the title when I say I despise my mother. I don't want to speak to her ever again after I turn 18. The real reason I'm trying to talk to her more is so I won't leave on a bad note, and just maybe, I could actually understand some of her actions. No luck so far. There's plenty of reasons to not like her, my grandfather was just the beginning. Even when I'm actually having a good conversation and we're laughing, I can't get it out of my head. I don't care about her at all and when she's old, I won't be there to take care of her. Despite that, I still wonder if I'm just being immature about the whole thing. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.