id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
kMnD97oyAnvN18xKF69PqcqhjOluHh3c | b70rr5 | {
"description": "being sick of my Girlfriends Weird 'friend'",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being sick of my Girlfriends Weird 'Friend' | Right so I've been dating this girl for about 7 months now, lets call her M, and I'm like crazy into her. Ever since we got together we had been looking forward to a school dance, The winter formal (basically prom for tenth graders). Now M had this weird friend who had always just been there, we'll call her E. Shes always been strange but not exactly antisocial. She pops into convos at weird times, shes generally awkward, and shes always around M and I (At lunch, in the halls, during club meetings, in theatre, etc etc etc). We put up with her because M and E were girl scouts together, childhood friendship etc, but now its difficult.
Alot went into preparing for the formal, I actually wrote her a song and performed it to her in front of the entire school right as lunch started. It was extremely sweet, M was shocked, and E was squealing in the corner the entire time like a dying animal. All in all, it was a little weird but sweet.
Naturally she said yes, and we were set to go together to the formal. Eventually the dance gets there, I dress up nicely and she looks gorgeous, and were ready to go to the dance. The beginning was nice, we got to spend time together, music was kinda shit but it was okay because I was really more there for her. Eventually, the only slow dance of night comes on, and she and I go out to the dance floor after she shows me how to slow dance (first time, it was sweet). Ed Sheeran's 'Perfect' is playing so the mood is romantic. Were staring at eachother, not focusing on anything else, and then she strikes. E decides it would be appropriate to take pictures of us. What she didnt understand, was that generally, when people are having a moment, you dont take pictures three feet away WITH YOUR FLASH ON. And that's exactly what she did. To make it better, she was screaming stuff like 'TOO CUTE' 'OTP' 'MY SHIP HAS SAILED' in the highest pitch you've ever heard in public while its QUIET. The mood was ruined, and somewhat along with it the night. And to top it all off, all of the pictures were shit. Blurry weird angles, and I can practically her screeches every time I look at them.
Since then she and I have decided that next year when we all move to senior high, we're going to try and ditch her as quickly as possible. My dilemma however, is I feel mean for it. They were close, and E being weird may not totally be her fault. She has ADHD, anxiety, and seems to be mentally 'on the spectrum' (if you know what I'm saying). We're probably gonna ditch her anyway, but I'd love to know if I'm being overly dramatic or if there genuinely is a problem here that I'm appropriately reacting to. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
63GU3AC31c2aMg4PLBuzFDhdRWeM0s3n | 9xsiu3 | {
"description": "wanting to play videogames",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to play videogames? | Hello all. First, sorry for my English.
I have a girlfriend for 2 years now. And we are on a trip to the beach.
The thing is, we are staying at her father’s house, (only the two of us) and there is absolutely nothing to do here. No internet, no TV, nothing to do in the city at night (everything closes early), I didn’t bring my laptop because she asked me not to. During the day we go to the beach, and at night we just stay in the house talking. We are like this for three days, and we just had a big fight because I jokingly said I miss my videogame. Now she is super mad at me and said we are going back home first thing in the morning. Am I the Asshole for being bored and wanting to go home?
TLDR: I’m at the beach with my girlfriend for 3 days with absolutely nothing to do and want to go home. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tBoOcig8pTDiUYPIsrVM0bmZu5bYekdJ | aiuoq6 | {
"description": "eating old food",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for eating old food? | I go to a creative arts high school that has a tech theater program. In our workshop, we have a communal fridge. There have been two packages of noodles in the freezer since mid-November. Fridge rules are that if it’s been in there for over a month, it’s trash/fair game. All my friends are telling me I’m in the wrong for cooking and eating one of the packages of noodles, because it’s “wrong to eat someone else’s food.” Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
IYXCpfG7EllI4DI1vFJKYs4H8mdQ19P6 | b34gzf | {
"description": "deciding that my gf shouldn't go on vacation with me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for deciding that my gf shouldn’t go on vacation with me? | So little context my gf and I are on spring break rn. A month ago a group of my friends and I rented a small cabin about 5 hours away from where we go to college. My gf made mention that she didn’t feel well at the end of the week, and her sickness got progressively worse over the past 4ish days. Two days ago (the day before we were supposed to leave) my gf kept texting me the entire morning saying how she felt horrible like she’d been hit by a truck. She ended up going to the doctor where they told her she had the flu.
So I made the decision that she wasn’t going to go with me since she had the flu and going on vacay for a few days wouldn’t help her get better at all. She claimed she didn’t care if I went without her and we got into a little argument, resulting in her saying she didn’t care and that I should “just fucking go.” So I drove all the way there.
She then texted me very pissed saying that I only left to get drunk with my friends and didn’t care at all about her. It escalated into her bringing up other things and instances in our past that she felt like I had shown that I hadn’t cared about her.
Obviously what I did was not intended to make her think I didn’t care about her, I knew that she would have a terrible time if she went with the flu, and quite frankly others didn’t want her there since she was sick. All the people there are my good friends and I wanted to spend time with them. Instead, because she didn’t believe I actually cared about her, I drove 5 hours back to school to show how much I really do care about her. She still thinks that I’m in the wrong and claims I treat her “lower than anything else” So, aita?
Tl;dr gf got diagnosed with the flu, told her not to come on vacay with me and my friends for obvious reasons. She now believes I don’t give a shit about her and only wanted to get drunk with friends. So I left and drove back home 5 hours to show how much I care, she still thinks I’m an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
2quDmqhgdqrSPLNItITbRprYIoURNvrr | aaas4i | null | AITA for this situation with my roommate | A little background. I purchased a house back in January of 2016. Small 3 bedroom 2 baths split entry. Starter home as I'm only 28 but I hate the idea of renting.
I had a roommate move in Feb 2016 and has lived with me since. Overall a decent roommate. Did some thing I didn't like. Like give his GF my house key without asking, or having her stay there all day while he was at work and I was at work. I don't smoke cigs and I'd find many cigs in the front lawn, back lawn, on the floor of my garage. Pizza boxes left between couches, bags of garbage left on the kitchen floor.
He did for the most part clean his dishes, put away his things. I mean from time to time he would leave his clothes in the washer or dried but a lot of things like that I could overlook because I thought we were friends.
Well in the month of December he told me he was going to be moving out come February. Totally fine with me, I was actually going to tell him come February that this was going to be the last year I wanted a roommate in my house because I didn't really need one to afford to live there I just wanted to help a friend out and give them cheap rent.
While he was here I wanted to make sure he felt like this was him home. I never asked him to shovel the driveway although he did it a few times on his own accord. I only asked him to mow once because I was out of town. But since he was moving out and it's going to be just my house from then on I felt it would be okay to ask for help on a couple things before he left.
He had this giant wallpaper that a map of earth. He loves geography so its right up his alley and I want him it have it at the house while he was here. But since he was moving I asked him if we could find time together before he left to take this giant wallpaper down from the upstairs living air and fix and damages it might do to the wall. I don't think that is unreasonable but maybe I'm biased only looking at my point of view.
Next thing to happen happened yesterday. I texted my GF in the AM that I had been feeling like I am getting sick. This sucked because since before Thanksgiving we had rented out a basement of a bar for all our friends to do ugly sweater Karaoke and I have been looking forward to this non stop.
Well as the day went on I received a message from my GF who follows his GF on social media where my roommates GF posted that she is sick and she has been at my house the last three days. Over the holidays I only spent itme with my mom, dad, sister, bro in law and niece. Non of them were sick. No co workers sick because if you are even sniffling here they send you home plus I don't interact with too many people in my office to begin with so I think the easy assumption was that I was getting sick from his GF who had been in my house.
I messaged my roommate fully aware that it could upset that if she was the only one sick since she didn't live at the house she should be at her place as to not get other people sick. My roommate responded that since he told me that he was moving out I have been petty and he is walking on egg shells.
This really hit me. I'm not the type of person to do thing out of spite or to try and intentionally hurt someone. I was just looking after my property that I will have to be responsible for still when he leaves and I was looking after my health.
Like I said for the most part he has been a decent roommate. I am not going to go around smearing him among people I know. He is a talented, skillful individual who has a lot of traits that I look up to because I have difficulties with them.
But I feel like throughout this process he is being unreasonable. I understand he needs to defend his GF otherwise she would be upset with him but I have known him for 8-10 years now. I would hope that we would not resort to name calling and things like this. If it ends in an ugly divorce it ends in an ugly divorce. But I don't feel like I was being petty. Does all this make me a piece of shit or not? Stuff like this keeps me up at night, it's hard for me to focus on other things because I don't like it when people feel like I am out to get them because I'm not that kind of person.
TLDR: My roommate thinks I am being petty because I ask for help in removing a wallpaper of his that is in my living area and helping me fix any damages from it as well as asking his GF who doesn't live at my house and is sick to be at her place. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZAKUkhsN0sBjB2IclRHSGELedZLsWjPJ | ahebfv | {
"description": "hiding protein bars at my local coffee shop",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for hiding protein bars at my local coffee shop? | At this coffee shop they have a little display of protein bars. I hide my favorite ones at the back of the display so no one can see them unless they look. Is this morally wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
cAUbSJ08whgbMr5WTRTzsJC3obB5ZPMt | a7qtp1 | {
"description": "getting a coworker fired over slightly racist and classist comments",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for getting a coworker fired over slightly racist and classist comments? | I have a coworker who is generally friendly and fun to work with, does a good job, and has great customer service (he does treat all customers equally, to the best of my knowledge). However, when he's tired or upset, he'll take out his frustration by making rude comments to us (fellow employees) about how "he wishes he had a phone number for ICE that he could call whenever he thought one of our customers was an illegal", and, "I bet they bought that with food stamps. Psh. I'm the one paying for that!" and, probably the mildest, "they should learn English because blah blah blah." (Among other similar comments.) These comments are only ever directed toward Hispanic and black customers, I guess is my issue. While he never utters a blatantly racist insult, it is - without exception - only after we've served a Hispanic or black customer. Personally, I don't understand the animosity. I don't think threatening to call the authorities on someone because you THINK (no evidence, note) they MIGHT be illegal because they're of Hispanic descent is appropriate. (Let's not even begin a discussion on the huge waste of tax payer dollars it would be to send ICE agents to investigate every little phone call this guy makes.. while he complains about food stamps costing too much. But I digress.) The fact that he only ever accuses Hispanic and black people of using food stamps (again, with no evidence, as we don't collect payment in our dept) is also kind of inappropriate.
WIBTA for reporting these comments to management? There are no insults, no name calling, and no direct confrontation with the customer (thankfully). But it still feels...wrong. Reporting this to management will most likely end with his termination, as our company has a **strict** zero tolerance policy for racism. As a fellow adult with a family to feed, getting someone fired IS a big deal. It's not something to be taken lightly and can put families in a precarious situation. Are these comments out of line? Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Where do we draw the line on this kind of thing. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
7jAIcK01Cuzw2Mc5BI4IdQPb7NmtW8WQ | b5a6ez | {
"description": "being mad my friend finished in my wife during group sex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for being mad my friend finished in my wife during group sex? | **Intro** *First draft was 8,500 char over limit. I will link the full story, here is a poorly edited one trimmed to 3000 ASAP.*
***I'm asking if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I was mad he came in her and also for making him apologize to me.*** *But if I or anyone else is an asshole for another reason I'm interested. Questions welcome. Thank you.*
**TL:DR; see full version**
Married 10 years. Kinky.
Friend has GF for 1 year. Says sex is boring. Knows we swing and wife likes cum.
Him and GF invite us out. My friend propositions me with partner swap- his whole angle was that his girlfriend has a huge crush on me and he thinks it'll help their relationship if I do her. Doesn't mention wife.
I pity him and agree.
In the uber I tell wife what we're doing.
About to bone... GF says no condom, but don't cum inside. I say "*looks like we're cumming on some titties*" to my friend. He grunts agreement.
Sex happens... he cums in her hard. She's thrilled. I'm pissed but contain it.
Later, I tell her he just wanted to cum in her because his girlfriend doesn't let him. She looks at me like I'm stupid, duh. I told him to cum on your tits. She doesnt remember. I did.
She dismissed my feelings instead of working through. Maybe thought I was blaming her and was mad at her about it, says she owns her pussy, that she can't believe *I'M* shaming her, she only did it for me, etc.
Tension.
Last night I confronted friend. He admitted planning to cum inside. I told him that was fucked up- He said and didn't think of it that way, everything was true, wife said it was okay. Didn't know it was a big deal and apologized genuinely. I accepted.
I was mad because...
**Expectations**: sex-god alpha male, here to fulfill innocent girl's fantasy and save friend's sad boring life + impress w/ wife.
**Reality**: a couple tried swinging
**Result**: suddenly emasculated that I wasn't in complete control. But now I've learned, won't do it again.
Told wife the good news, she got mad. Said if I can't manage expectations, thats my problem, "It's not fun if I have to worry about you freaking out". That I had no right to make him feel bad for something he didn't know about and I'm egotistical. Took a lot of trust for her because there was no plan and my reaction I ruined it.
I asked her to do something sexually extreme (service my friend) she wants praise, affection, but I think she's martyring herself here. Never had negativity towards her at all. But I also have a duty to resolve doubts and misunderstandings before they grow into resentment. The idea that I should have shoved my feelings inside and ignore them seems ridiculous.
Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
YY8c642rG3P4Es23lpexHHg3Qpc4QcKi | 9v20f5 | {
"description": "being a selfish person",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being a selfish person? | I was talking to a friend about future goals. All of mine are selfish and I don’t think about all the wrong in the world. She just made me feel so bad about because I don’t vote, due to a lack of knowledge, and I’m not savvy on anything political.
I don’t think about how lucky I am to have food on the table and clean clothes, and I only really care about my immediate surroundings. I’m very pragmatic and I care about helping people that will be mutually beneficial. People that are in my family, I care about, and things I do pertain to their well being, as well as my own.
Tl:dr am I an asshole for not being motivated to solve world hunger and giving to people with less? I am selfishly motivated | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
XX8tOX86ynJlnLJqwMUN5ob7RnFEMfbL | aphdn2 | {
"description": "not going to my great-grandfathers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not going to my great-grandfathers funeral | So I'm torn between the opinion of my mother and my mother in law. Let me explain the situation.
Last wednesday, my back hurt terribly. I couldn't walk, couldn't sit. I've honestly never experienced that kind of pain in my life (although I had a pretty painfree life, physically). I went to the doctor and he told me that it's a common kind of pain and it'll fix itself in about 6 weeks. He gave me painkillers and sent me home. I live with my family in law (due to college and mental health).
Wednesday evening, my great grandfather died peacefully. He was 90+, religious and longed to go 'home' to his wife. He had been sick for a long time, it's a relief for him and for the family.
Here goes: I can barely do anything, the only time I sit is for dinner. I walk a lot, as it is supposed to help the pain. My mom doesn't see this, I call her but she doesn't see the pain I'm in. This morning I thought it was getting better, but I turned around too fast and now the pain is back.
My mom expects me to go to the funeral. This will be 3 hours by train and another half an hour by car. That's a one way trip, so it would be 7 hours total, without even the funeral itself. The funeral is thursday. I'm afraid it'll do no good, as it hurts me to sit for 15 minutes. My mother in law thinks I shouldn't go, my mom thinks I should.
Family is important and I wish I could go, only I don't know if me going is a good idea. I didn't know my great grandfather too well, but he was an incredible man. My mom would be go crazy if I couldn't make it.
Would I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
psrckdKTnjL2BLRCB1qaodMSfhg0N1I0 | a4fras | {
"description": "not believing in the art degree my wife is currently in school for and I think she's a bad artist",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA: I don't believe in the art degree my wife is currently in school for and I think she's a bad artist | So, I'm probably an asshole here, but my wife and I have been long distance for the past 3 years while she gets her degree in Illustration at a no name school. She is driven and one of the most determined people that I know of, and I could never tell her how I feel. I hear about how all these artists come out of school and are unable to find work. She has these dreams of coming out school and being able to say she could support herself if she wanted to doing her art. The thing is... she isn't that good. Our friend group is mainly graduated artists that are so much more talented than she is, have gone to a top 3 art school, and still they can not find work. Most of them are still living with their parents 2-3 years out of college.
Luckily I have a job that can support us both. The problem is, I'm no saint and I get really bitter about it at times. Never to her face. I'm the one who found us a house, got a decent paying job, will pay for both of our student loans, and will pretty much provide for us while she works for this degree that I believe will only put us in more debt and give us nothing. My fear is that she will come out of this intense years of art school, after putting years of long distance stress on our relationship, with nothing. I try and will always tell her that I support her choices, but watching our debt increase and knowing i'm going to be the one to pay it back is really stressing me out. Especially when I 100% believe she will not be making any substantial amount of money to help pay it back. I know a relationship isnt all about money, but its hard being the only one making sure we arent destroying our lives financially. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
1VoK3fQ81h6r4XiVkKFMgGAXxY0ymDzQ | avkecb | {
"description": "refusing to pay for prom tickets",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to pay for prom tickets? | Okay so here’s the gist: My boyfriend (18 M) and I (19 F) have been together for 8 months. I love him very much and we were friends for a while before we started dating, so that set up a good foundation for us.
Financially, we are very different. His parents help him with the majority of all his payments and I’ve also been on my own with pretty much anything I wanted to purchase. I don’t resent him nor my parents for this, it’s just how it is.
Moving on, because of this college and life has been pretty hard. I still have no vehicle (I’m saving up for one) and paying for books and stuff has not been very easy. Not to mention my eyes suck, so paying for contacts kicked me in the butt.
Anyway yesterday my boyfriend came over and was excited to talk to me about us actually going to prom, although preciously we ruled it out and made the executive decision not to go.
I wasn’t upset by this, because he said his parents were going to help him pay and I do love dancing. He then proceeded to ask if I was going to pay for my ticket, as they were only chipping in partially.
I’m not upset by this either. It’s amazing that his parents would even offer to help pay, let alone him help me pay for my dress.
However, money is really really really tight and I told him that I wouldn’t go if I had to pay because it just wasn’t an option for me right now. It’s not that I didn’t want to go, I just couldn’t.
Of course this upset him and he was also peeved that I felt so strongly about it. We fought about it for a bit, but still are in the same standing position right now. Prom is also on our 10 month anniversary, and he told me he was planning on asking me in a big gesture as well. So yeah, he’s pretty upset. He has a right to feel this way, but now I just kinda feel like an asshole.
So AITA? What should I do here. I feel as though I’m in the wrong but I don’t really have another choice. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tLpQ3jiETDDGyKxnUTDvxW7PdUp82UKO | ab2wkp | {
"description": "thinking we shouldn't spend $1k on dinner to treat our relatives' family",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking we shouldn't spend $1k on dinner to treat our relatives' family? | My family's not rich and usually don't eat out (because restaurants are usually very expensive here). We're all very close with our relatives' family since they're all extremely nice people, and exchange gifts often. My husband's planning to treat the relatives out to an extremely fancy seafood dinner in a few days to celebrate new year's since my relatives really enjoy seafood. I know that place and it's infamously known for being ridiculously expensive (\~$1k for 9 people), and told him is it really worth it? Of course he retaliates with "no need to be cheap here". Now before I get called cheap by you guys:
* I'm not cheap, I'm the type of person who refuse to enter another person's home unless I brought them gifts. But I do draw the line on knowing what kind of prices we can afford
* The two seniors in their home are especially sweet to our family, and love seafood, so my husband feels the need to give them "the best seafood they've ever ate"
* I didn't even want to spend $1k on a new laptop, yet this one dinner will basically mean my laptop budget's out the door
* I have no problem taking them out to dinner at a slightly more reasonable price, say $300 (which I think is already a luxurious dinner)
Gonna change the wording here, am I the cheapskate here for thinking going way above budget is required to maintain relationship with relatives? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FGchkyw6nXEEKUdBLrWcKKnuJwaA7ejL | aqida9 | {
"description": "not paying for damage my cigarette did",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not paying for damage my cigarette did? | So I was at a big party at a stable. At round 1:30 I went outside for a smoke, and started talking to a friend of mine working at the cashier, where you have to pay your entry fee.
It wasn't very crowded outside, so I didn't really pay a lot of attention to my surrounding. While talking, and holding my cigarette in the left hand, some girl bumped into my arm, and into the cigarette.
Since I wasn't too drunk yet I reacted fairly instant, and put out the ashes that got caught up in her jacket.
I then apologized, and started talking to my friend again, not really giving it another thought.
Suddenly the girl started getting really upset about a small burn mark on her jacket, asking me what I can do to make it up to her.
Since I really didn't move when she bumped into me, I told her she should've paid more attention, and I couldn't see my fault just for holding a cigarette in the smoking area (everything outside was the smoking area, but whatever).
Since she didn't stop complaining about it, I gave her my number, and asked her to write me the next day, since we both had a few drinks, and stuff like that should be handled sober.
The next morning I woke up to 8 messages from her, showing me pictures of a really tiny hole in her jacket (0.3cm at max), and asking me to pay her the full price of it.
After a bit of back and forth I kinda agreed to take this to my insurance, so she can get a new one. At this point everything would've been fine for her, but she just had to add, that I should pay more attention while smoking, implying I was still at fault.
I then decided to go, 'fuck it, if you want anything from me go contact a lawyer', because she was never any thankful for me taking the damage she inflicted.
Damn that got longer than expected, and I could still add tons of details, but I hope it's enough for you to decide...
Sooo, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
c4OHdrtbClUVY8vmchriyigT5C2S7j8B | a7o4ys | {
"description": "asking one Subway employee to help the other",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking one Subway employee to help the other? | If you don’t know Subway has a new promotional item called ultimate cheesy garlic bread. It takes a minute to make, so you tell the person you want that when you step up. So I tell the girl I want a footlong Italian bmt on ultimate cheesy garlic bread. She then proceeds to look at all the pictures on their side of the counter and asks Italian bmt right. Oh god, here we go. She then starts making the sandwich. I say again I wanted that on the cheesy garlic bread. She says I know and puts two balls of the garlic butter on top of the meat, then asks if I want it toasted. I tell her that’s not how you make it, you have to put the butter and the cheese on first. Then she says “oh yeah, what kind of cheese did you want on here?” That’s when I asked the other lady if she could help her please. So then the other lady is giving me attitude telling me she’s new and she’ll get it just give her time. No, it’s not that fucking hard plus I told her exactly what I wanted multiple times. She then proceeds to help her make my sandwich and she still fucked up the cheese part of the garlic bread. 😡. So am I the asshole for asking that the seasoned vet help the new girl since she obviously couldn’t handle it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5ulM8NSWnqxif7UwQczdETQcFzpNbzaz | atit4z | {
"description": "letting my mom's dog run out the door",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for letting my mom’s dog run out the door? | I live with my mom and she has a chihuahua she took in as a stray a few years ago. The dog uses our house as his toilet despite being let outside multiple times a day. He gets in the trash, he eats everything, and he is basically a menace. I am the one who always gets stuck cleaning up after him and I have had multiple break downs over it as I have an infant and don’t have time to clean up after this dog.
This morning, I woke up to trash and dog shit strewn about the living room. Food and dirty diapers every where. Dog shit every where, because it wasn’t enough he got in the trash, he had to shit in the floor to add insult to injury. After my mental breakdown, I cleaned up the dog’s mess for the millionth time, and had the door open while I sat the trash bags on the porch. Dog came running, I started going towards him to get him back in my mom’s room, and he ran out the front door. I did not try to stop him.
It has been hours later, and my mom is pissed at me for letting him run away. I feel like an asshole, and I’ll never hear the end of it if he doesn’t come back. But then again, I’m not sure what I could have done to stop him. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
10lPDwLSthu36ts475QUQ7CyFeLVSUYW | am9j81 | {
"description": "telling my bf I don't like going to his family gatherings",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I tell my bf I don't like going to his family gatherings? | Typing this up on phone so excuse the formatting.
To preface this - I (24F) am the newest addition to my bf (23M)'s family. We live in the UK, but are both foreigners. His family (mother & brother) is portuguese, while I am bulgarian. His brother is married to a nice polish lady. Neither me nor her speak portuguese, but everyone speaks english. His mother's english is not great even though she has been in the country for almost 15 years now. She doesn't seem to care, they mostly speak in portuguese amongst themselves, whether in my presence or not and don't generally care to translate. His brother used to apologise if him and my bf spoke to eachother in their native tongue while driving with me, which I found polite. Bf never apologises, neither does his mom.
So we were invited to my bf's brother's wife's birhday today (I will refer to her as bf's sister-in-law from now on for shorter). We went out to have a nice dinner and drinks. The place of choice was a brazillian steakhouse which functions like a buffet. They said they hoped I would find something to eat there, as I do not eat red meat.
Firstly, only two of the waiters spoke english to us, the rest only spoke portuguese, which was awkward because I had to communicate through headshaking for no and nodding for yes when they brought the different types of meats 'round the tables. Second and foremost, my bf, his brother and mother went full on portuguese amongst themselves and the waiters. For the most part me, bf's sister-in-law and her child just sat there eating, while the three of them seemed to be having a jolly ol' time, laughing and speaking in their native tongue. On her birthday dinner. She didn't look like she was enjoying herself very much and tbh neither was I.
To top it all off, they all had drinks, and the designated driver had the most. They were coctails, but still. Driving back with a child in the car.
I wanted to talk about this as soon as we got home, but bf was sleepy and went straight to bed so I didn't bring it up.
Still not sure if I have the right to assume how bf's sister-in-law felt as like I said I am the newest addition to the family, since his mother calls me her daughter-in-law aswell, while the sister-in-law has been with his brother for 7 years or something.
Worth mentioning that the Christmas of 2017 was the first time I met his family officially and they were a bit more considerate, but this does seem to be a theme, as they do it at home too.
Am I in the wrong? WIBTA if I tell him I don't enjoy spending time with his family?
Also a little bit of side info - I have some serious social anxiety so I definitely don't want a ton of attention, just not to feel like I am just brought there to be fed. Frankly wouldn't even mind if they never spoke to me directly, so long as the convo was still in english when there are non-portuguese people present.
Sorry for the rant. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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} | RIGHT |
rcZqrOYaISWJD6fjD8wjksDJUGQO3R8p | ailg2r | {
"description": "expecting my husband to limit his favourite hobby",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for expecting my husband to limit his favourite hobby? | AITA for expecting my husband to turn off the television whenever our baby is awake & denying him from sharing his favourite hobby with our son for many years? I strongly believe that screen time is unhealthy for infant brain development (the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend zero screen time before 18 months) and want to make all possible efforts to avoid exposing our 4month old until he is 2 and then only to quality programs. My husband doesn't feel it's that big of a deal, but has agreed.
However, I keep catching my husband playing videogames while our son is in the room if I'm not around and he will keep playing if I'm in the living room with our son and just expect me to keep him distracted. I know our son will happily and quietly watch Daddy's game and actively entertaining a baby is exhausting (boy, do I know!) but this doesn't change my expectations. To be clear:
A. I'm not anti-gaming - it's a valid hobby that I know helps my husband unwind. The games are child appropriate Nintendo games that I'd be happy for them to play together if our baby was a 5yo.
B. We live in a very small house and the only TV and only baby play area is in the living room. We have a study with a PC but my husband is enjoying playing nostalgia games on the Switch on the TV at the moment.
C. I'm not perfect in that I'll browse my phone if our baby is busy playing, or behind his back while breastfeeding but I'll put it down as soon as I notice he's looking at me, and I don't look at things that would fire up a baby's reward centre (no sound or video).
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
ku0WjDCP166Oylp3xXedaBWah6x30njz | 9x5cpl | {
"description": "calling the police on my neighbors dogs",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I called the police on my neighbors dogs? | So I have two dogs. have had the oldest since 2011. the youngest since 2014. I've lived in my house since 2009. the house next door to me has two dogs they got as puppies this summer. they moved in back somewhere around the first of the year (it's a rental property). I've never had a problem with either of my dog getting out of my yard. Starting around August, the neighbor's dogs have managed to get into my yard on multiple occasions. All by going under the fence (we share a fence between us.) I've gone and knocked on their door multiple times asking them to come get their dogs. I've been kind about it. I get it, puppies take some work to grow into functioning adult dogs. But, they seem to be content leaving their dogs out all day, and only come get their dogs if i say something, or if they are leaving and find them in my yard (at least when I've been home to witness it). Once they went darting after my smaller dog (a Shih Tsu) while he was trying to pee. Another time, they had my larger dog (Lab/Pyrenees mix) trapped in the corner of the yard. i had to go chase them off so she could run to the house. Tonight, I get home from work and they're already in my yard. Meaning i can't let my own dogs out until they get their dogs out of my yard. While i was trying to shoo them out of my yard. The neighbor comes out of his house yelling at his dogs. I'm tired of feeling like my dogs can't even go out without me making sure my own yard is clear. WIBTA if I just called the police next time I have this issue? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iQv2TB6KV0dicSlP9rhI9tgtry4tBVaF | b3itv9 | {
"description": "getting impatient during a hypothetical conversation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting impatient during a hypothetical conversation? | I've known my roommate for over a decade, and we don't always mesh personality-wise. He is the type of person who very much enjoys having long drawn out hypothetical arguments about random things. I do not enjoy this. I find arguments, especially hypothetical ones, exhausting.
Fast forward to today. I did some yard work this morning. After work, he commented that the yard looked good, and noticed I was curled up on the couch. I told him I was tired. He said "Yeah, you look it." He then tells me a little bit about his day, we share some brief small talk, he walks away.
A few minutes later he comes back in the room and he says "So... Imagine you wake up in the woods. What's the first thing that you do? Now, it's an earth-like planet and you have nothing with you but your clothes. How soon do you think you could make metal tools?"
Huh? I ask him what he's talking about, and he makes it clear it's some hypothetical scenario he had been thinking about. I engage him for a bit, we have a back and forth. But frankly, I don't care about this conversation.
The other thing you should know about my roommate is that when he's thinking hard about something, it takes him forever to get to the point of a sentence. It's hard to convey accurately in writing, but it's something like this: "So, let's say that it's an Earth-like... well, not exactly Earth because it's another planet, but it has Earth-like flora and fauna.. you know, like deer and rabbits.. not specifically that, but something similar. The climate and atmosphere is similar.. well, it could be a different season. Imagine that it's spring, but not like too hot or too cold..."
I admit that I get extremely impatient. I already don't have a good idea of what we're talking about, and I'm not really in the mood to be having some deep, analytical conversation. So after about 10 minutes of this conversation, he's in the middle of another rambling sentence that I've lost the point of, and I sigh.
He gets upset and asks why I'm annoyed. I say it's because he's taking so long to get to the point and I'm not sure what he's taking about anymore (a comment I've made in other contexts countless times before. This is not a new thing). He gets pissy, says "Well sorry I don't speak a mile a minute like you! I'm trying to think this through!" And he storms out of the room. A few minutes later, he says he's upset with me for getting impatient when it was supposed to be a "fun" conversation.
My feeling is that I never expressed interest in having this conversation. It's clear from my answers that I'm not thinking this scenario through as thoroughly as he is. And I certainly did not seem like I was having fun. I can't help but feel that he is unfairly upset with me because I didn't find this weird, rambling, and unexpected conversation as fun as he wanted me to. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XOZN2LB0Upv39xkvivBU82Y91KM108SQ | ao00w8 | {
"description": "asking my mother to not chew gum around me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my mother to not chew gum around me? (or something like that) | (16)
I have some issue for some reason where the sound of chewing from just about everyone causes serious anxiety for me. I get tense, I sweat, I shake, I can't even think about anything if there are some sounds like that going on around me. It's been happening for around 7 years: I'm on the verge of a panic attack on average 5 times per day for 7 years now. Sometimes I can remove myself from the source. I can put on some earbuds, maybe leave the room, but not always, and usually I don't have that option when it is my mother. She knows that this affects me, and has done nothing to help; her sounds still are particularly bad. If she's eating or chewing, I have no way to get away because she doesn't want me to. She makes me stay at the dinner table until we're all done eating before I can leave. OR she'll put some gum in when she's driving. Every time, hearing the sounds triggers as usual, but then she still goes on to ask EVERY FLIPPING TIME (in a very accusatory tone) "Is something wrong?"
​
At this point, I really have no option but to say "nothing, i'm fine". In the past, if I tell her what really is going on, she gets personally offended and starts weeping or shouting or some outrageous emotional response that solves nothing, and only makes both of us feel worse, so I don't do that anymore. I just stay there, feeling trapped, incredibly anxious, and angry that she hasn't figured it out after 7 years. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Kp0Yx5dJKkoucLLUCRkM9VnUo60EVti0 | avtyc8 | {
"description": "not wanting to babysit my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not wanting to babysit my nephew | I posted this the other day without a response, so I hope it's okay to try again.
My brother-in-law (wife's brother) is deployed overseas. His wife works every weekend in addition to having classes during the week. So what's the problem? Neither one of them can keep their son, my nephew, on the weekend, sometimes even during the week as well. So guess who keeps him? Family.
My brother-in-law has said the money he makes while deployed is more than enough to pay for everything. In fact, he expects to make a big dent in their debt while he's gone (he's put a new truck, motorcycle, guns, video, games, and other electronics on credit in addition to his student loans). So why does the mother work if they don't require the income? From her own mouth, she told me she doesn't want to lose her tenure at her job. Instead she wants to work there until she finishes school, then she'll get another job based on her new degree within the same company. I admit, that wouldn't be a bad reason if the world revolved around them. Currently she drops her son off with a baby sitter Monday-Friday during the day, so she sees him at night during the week. During the weekend, she often won't see him at all until Sunday afternoon, but then only to take him to her mother's so she can work or study. Then the cycle starts again. Meanwhile, she constantly tells my wife how much she misses him and loves him. Okay, let's assume that's genuine since I can't read her mind.
Review time. Dad is out of the picture but brings home plenty of money for the family to live. Mother is going to school and working every weekend even though she doesn't have to do either.
If the wife insists on working, why can't she stop school and work a regular shift during the week, freeing up her weekend to be with her son? Because they don't like that idea.
One last layer to complete the crap cake: my wife adores her family and jumps at the chance to keep our nephew. She adamantly defends them all, saying her brother's wife works very hard and her brother is depressed because he's forced to be away from his family. But I don't care, they're adults and they can suffer the consequences to their actions like the rest of us. Then my wife comes at me with something hurtful: even if I have problems with the parents, why would I take it out on our nephew by not caring for him? He's innocent and needs help no matter the situation. She also is saying I would break her family apart if I tell them any of this. She's expressed that my frustration and unwillingness to continue this situation is hurting her immensely. She says I'm forcing her to choose between me and her family.
Now we're supposed to keep him this weekend, and I'm predictably upset.
So here's the question: AITA for not sucking it up for my wife's sake and accepting the situation for now? It may only be for a few more months, and we may only need to keep him once each month. I need some outside perspective. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
KhNl5I2jHUb2OcKlXzCBs8n5Hd0OR0ds | ajx7gj | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that she should stop crying about a dog that died two years ago",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 27
} | AITA For telling my girlfriend that she should stop crying about a dog that died two years ago? | Its not everyday but its enough that its become extremely annoying. I understand you had your dog for a long time, i understand you cared about it, but to cry out of nowhere on christmas because you saw a dog mug?
Or to burst out crying when you see the same breed on the street? My own grandfather died and i didnt shed a tear once.
I told her that its getting borderline psychotic at this point thats shes falling apart in public at the sight of dog themed sweaters. AITA or should she learn better coping skills? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 27
} | WRONG |
hSdLMa6RkziGKrt6C3UFD3D6DKDyBevv | a3p1v6 | {
"description": "using my friend as motivation to be a better person",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA: I use my friend as motivation to be a better person. | I have this "friend" who has a reputation of being annoying, ask dumb questions, and is known to hit on many guys but have weak game.
I use her as motivation because I use to have a similar attitude as her and I want to improve myself.
I hang out with her to remind myself to not act like that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
jMTXrnQ4wuOXf1ySFbMwhZWA1QKeWDWH | 9ze768 | {
"description": "reporting a statutory rape",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for reporting a statutory rape | This was 5 years ago and the effects of the incident have made a huge impact on several lives. I was over for dinner at my buddy bob’s house. I had known bob for about a year and we hung out every now and then because we worked together and our wives got along and our kids were the same age. We both had girls who were 17 at the time.
I was over for dinner and we were drinking and talking in the kitchen it was about 1 in the morning. I went to take a leak and afterwards got to wandering around a few hallways I had never walked down before in his house. His house was huge and I was just mucking around when I stumbled upon a dark room from which muffled sex noises were emanating. The room was really dim but I saw bobs daughter clearly being raped by her boyfriend. I say raped because she was 17 years old and I happened to know her boyfriend was 18.
So I called the police and reported the rape. I don’t know why I did it before talking to bob.that was stupid I know it now. Maybe calling the cops was stupid too I still dont know. I was more than a little buzzed at the time.
So I awkwardly told bob and things got super awkward. When the cops show up he gets super pissed and tells me to gtfo. The cops talked to me and I told them what I saw. The guy and bobs daughter appear and are questioned by the cops. The cops insist on doing a rape kit because it is a statutory case. The kids end up admitting to having sex anyways. Everyone is in tears. Bob is looking at me with the wrath of satan.
Long story short. The boyfriend gets charged with statutory rape and gets thrown in prison for 5 years. Bob has made it clear that he wants to extinguish me from the face of the earth and gets me fired, but that’s another story.
So who is the asshole here? Please put my mind at ease. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
FxpOcCYRXexhjQose9O4jGgyf7Z2rffX | aj3tr1 | {
"description": "getting mad at my trans friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting mad at my trans friend? | So this is a pretty short and simple issue but I'm feeling confused and I'm rethinking my actions in trying to solve an issue in my group of friends.
Basically, I have 2 good friends who I have both known for a long time. One of them is more problematic than the other. (Friend A) He's a nice guy and he's smart but I don't think he's very emotionally sensitive, nor does he take cues well. He has a history of saying and doing dumb shit. Recently, he made a joke/insult to another friend of mine who is transgender (Friend B), referring to their identity. While the joke was not transphobic it was still very insensitive and understandably offensive, particularly because friend A had come out not too long ago and was sort of finding themselves. Friend B is also very nice and often tries to avoid drama. (This all happened on a group chat)
Anyways friend B was pissed and immediately kicked friend A from the server. Initially, this was an understandable reaction, and the friend who was kicked immediately began to apologize. We didn't really listen for a week or so, but then my group of friends started thinking about it. Friend B was extremely stubborn in letting him back to the server, but that eventually happened. Since then, friend A has repeatedly tried to talk about it and has really wanted to come to common terms, and has been ignored as far as I know by everyone but me.
Over the past few weeks I'd been talking to friend B but I'd not made any ground.
(For clarification, this happened almost exclusely online because the offending friend goes to a different school)
Anyways, friend B has been running a Minecraft realm and we have a lot of fun on it. At this point, friend A was on the fence about buying minecraft but eventually did so he could play with us, which was when friend B started making some thin excuses about not letting him on. This could have been done before he spent the money. I privately confront her and she explains she's not comfortable being around him. After much deliberation, its clear that friend A has wasted his money, which he's mad about.
Friend A gets increasingly desperate to explain himself but is pretty much ghosted by everyone except me.
However, when he goes on to complain about his situation, everyone attacks him for trying to justify his shitty personality. This gets to the point where they call him out for every mundane or casual use of a somehow insensitive word, such as "retarded" and stuff, which is undeniably hypocritical and is blatant cherrypicking. Also, friend A always apologizes and sometimes explains that he didn't realize what he was saying. His statements are genuine and while he's certainly insensitive, part of that is a very strong honesty.
In my opinion this is unfair treatment.
So, I call everyone out for this whole thing in what may have been a rather frank announcement, and I point out how unfair it is. My argument is that he's more than capable of improving himself, he's just being attacked and then ghosted over and over. Nobody replied to my statement.
My trans friend says she's sick of this, leaves the server, and has since ceased all communication.
TLDR a friend makes an insensitive joke, which gets him in a cycle of ghosting and harrassment. I call it out in a way that might have been inappropriate
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
xjT5TOsZGpyoxenZ0FFAzsEKMbXSoCSB | amzl9y | {
"description": "suddenly kicking out my uncle",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for suddenly kicking out my uncle. | My uncle has been a nuisance in our household ever since he started staying with us in June, this is kind of long so please bear with me. I'm going to give some backstory prior to the event for better understanding.
Backstory:
My uncle has a personal protection order against him from his wife, and this prevented him from being able to live in his house, which is no longer his since the divorce. He never really asked us if he could stay, he just decided to come inside and sit down on our couch and has been sleeping on the couch ever since.
Something to understand about him is that he is a high functioning severe alcoholic, when he's sober he's one of my best friends, but when he's drunk he becomes irrational, unpredictable, and verbally abusive. He has taken to verbally attacking me particularly, even going as far as threatening my life because I caught him smoking inside of our house.
We gave him notice in early January that he needed to find himself a place to live. But a couple weeks ago we gave him one week to gather his things and leave after he was caught drunkenly dirtying our kitchen, and smoking in our house and he pissed on the floor, which was discovered by my mother who had to clean it up. That one week was stretched into two and a half.
We didn't want to send him out in the middle of the winter cold without some form of transportation, he had his truck towed from his house down to ours on december 14th because it had an exploded tire. From early December we fought with him to get his truck in working order. It wasn't until January 3rd that my mom finally cracked and made him start getting his truck working.
He had his license suspended from an unpaid ticket, so that was the first thing he needed to get done. Every time that we would try and get him to do something it would take at least an entire week or longer for him to finally get it done. We discovered very quickly that he was intentionally stalling by getting drunk so he didn't have to do it.
Yesterday:
Yesterday he finally got his truck up and running, after getting his license unsuspended, his license tabs renewed, and his insurance, he finally called to have it towed to the shop to have new tires put on. I had to repeatedly get after him about his truck yesterday in order for him to finally call.
He finally returns home from the shop, and immediately starts drinking, it's pretty obvious at this point he's blackout drunk. He then decides to get up, stumble out the door, and get inside of his truck to go grab more alcohol. On his way out of our driveway he got stuck at the end of our driveway and couldn't get his truck out. He then decided to walk to our local convenience store to get his fix.
It was at this moment that I had had enough, and I was tired of waiting for my mother to make the final decision to kick him out. She continued to stall with kicking him out, because she's an empathetic person with a big heart. She was skiing with her sister when I decided to take action.
I went into the living room where he was staying, and started bagging up all of his stuff, I grab the blankets and pillows we provided for him and packed those too. Everything including all of his clothes, supplies, and food that he had bought was sitting on the front porch waiting for him when he came back.
The first words I said to him was "hey, I'm sorry to do this so suddenly, but we're kicking you out tonight." After an exchange of words he called me and asshole and then my mom and her sister pulled in the driveway which stopped the altercation. He was not happy but the moment that he saw that there were two other people there he decided that it wasn't worth it and left.
My aunt has called me and asshole for doing this so suddenly without my mother's approval, but my mother is actually thankful that I had done this because she is not one for confrontation. So AITA?
P.S. I'll be posting pictures if some of you wish. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
zjp9YWT1tkeg5gQwYW3IZVDNX0K5rWKt | b0hb3s | null | AITA My sister vs her boyfriend | 📷
There was an argument that happened yesterday.
My sister and her boyfriend moved into an apartment a week or so ago and my sister's childhood friend (female) came to visit (They've been friends since they were toddlers).
They bought a mattress and it arrived yesterday and the boyfriend was mad because it arrived right as he was leaving for work and he didnt get to test the bed.
The friend stayed at the apartment for about 8 hours hanging out with my sister and she got to lay on the bed before him and it pissed him off.
My sister and her boyfriend dont have living room furniture (it arrives soon), so the 2 laid in bed to watch netflix and talk and the only tv in the apartment is in the bedroom where which is where they spent the day.
He kept complaining about the friend eating their food and she being in the apartment without him because apparently he doesnt like people in his apartment and he was complaining about the oils of the friend in the sheets and wanted to wash them because he immediately assumed them as dirty.
He keeps complaining about how he didnt get to enjoy the apartment because he's been busy cleaning and sorting whatever furniture they had then going to work immediately.
My sister said it shouldnt be a big deal and all she did was hang with her friend and watch netflix and had food here and there and lay in the bed because as stated, no living furniture. | HISTORICAL | {
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h5cNG8SDXkZ1Wtn24dFJlKKUCM9LP9y5 | amgi56 | {
"description": "evicting a girl living in my house rent free",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for evicting a girl living in my house rent free? | So I don't date. Like almost never. Since high school I've had two girlfriends and maybe a dozen first dates. All of them end in disinterest from either her or me. From my perspective the women that I attract are not the highest caliber or class. So here I am at 40 and my life resembles a Steve Carrell movie.
So when I start talking to a girl on OKCupid my expectations were low. We flirt and her lifestyle as a submissive is not appealing to me but she's actually a great conversation. Let's call her S.
As we text and flirt she sends me pics that get progressively dirty. She even sent them while I was at work and my boss saw one over my shoulder and dropped his laptop.
Eventually she found herself a "Joker to her Harley" as she put it and the texts and pics tapped off. She moves in with him. But, the J & H relationship was wholly unstable like its namesake and collapsed quickly.
She ran to me for comfort and solace. And to her ex husband for the "craving for a master" as well as a place to live.
She loses her job as a hotel maid unnessecarily having walked away from being groped instead of reporting the guy. When she finally does they fire him but since she walked without explanation they would give her job back.
Being unemployed she falls back on her masseuse career and gets busted for having her license expired. She needs $200 to renew or she's completely out of options.
I meet her for the very first time and give her the cash to help her out. When she showed up she's so nervous that when I handed her the bills she was worried that she would be arrested. I asked, why? No one cares. I tell her it's not a loan and there are no strings attached just use it to get on her feet. (I really had no designs on her)
She gets back to her massage business and starts making some good money.
The Joker returned and swept her off her feet again. She moved back in with him. This lasted even less time than before, when she breaks again she can't move in with her ex husband because he found himself another submissive. The two do not want her there. On top of that while trying to earn a little more she took a job as a personal assistant to a disabled person that turned out to be a fraud. He'd made her deposit a payroll check that she had deposited into her bank, withdrawing that money and depositing it into his account. By the time the $5k xheck bounced the guy was gone. The bank was going to press charges on her if the funds were not returned.
I had a vacant room and offered her a place rent free to get her on her feet. I even build a bed for her out of spare 2x4s.
While living here she and I would talk, flirt. She had no qualms about nudity and once just for punctuation to a conversation she dropped every article of clothing in two seconds flat. While she is far from being unattractive physically she still lacked the one and only thing I look for in a woman.
So months go by and she finds another guy and another guy. Dating both at the same time. Both end fairly quickly and after six months she's still not working. I floated the idea of finding her own place after she finds a job at a weed dispensary.
That's when she tells me she's pregnant and she doesnt know whose it is. She can't even find one of them. She would much rather stay here since she feels it's a safe place.
My other roommate at the time, let's call him D, had become friends with S and smokes out front together just outside the downstairs bathroom. Shortly after saying she pregnant I did not mean to eavesdrop, I just had to go to the bathroom. I overhear D ask what she's going to do with the baby. S replies, "I'm not pregnant but he won't kick me out if he thinks i am"
I kicked her out. She claimed I was heartless, she had nowhere to go but didnt budge. I never let on that I knew she was not pregnant. I just knew that if she didn't go then she would never go. She left. Blocked me on FB and began spreading lies about me in her posts.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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86d9KtLr1Fo90C2j742GviiBA2yNxYQy | ba0mtm | {
"description": "using \"you\" incorrectly, checking out in the middle of a conversation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA Using "You" Incorrectly, Checking out in the middle of a conversation | I was in conversation with my partner, and we got to the talking point about the Midwest, United States. What started the argument was when I said: "When you decolonize your education, the Midwest is a lot more interesting than what we are told in school." To their reply, they said that "Why are you blaming me?" To that point, I realize that I messed up my grammar. I used the wrong pronoun. I should have said "one" or rephrased the statement to be a bit more general. Using "you" made it more of an attack than a generality. When I tried to explain this, they said "You do this a lot though," and then pulled out their phone and basically left the conversation.
​
They shut down like this a lot. My first attempt to backtrack and explain myself just fell on deaf ears. It felt like I basically had to beg them to get a response for some kind of feedback about what I said. After one more attempt, I got them to open up about this pattern in my behaviour. They went on to say how there are a few types of speech (academic, business, etc.) and that when we are not aware of how we are speaking, it really comes out to be attacking, especially when I used "you" in the first statement.
​
I realized that yeah, I probably just did come off as attacking. My conundrum here is whether I am the asshole because I put no forethought into how I said what I said, whether it was just of them to shut down in the middle of the conversation because I said something rude (and they don't owe me an answer), or whether shutting down is a ploy to just bait me into being in the wrong while I try and defend myself in terms they established.
​
My brain hurts thinking about this tbh. Going over this interaction hurts because I feel like I do not have the energy or mental ability to see all angles. They shut down so often in somewhat serious conservations that I feel I cannot state my case without being a bit bias. I could really use some help. Thank you for your time in reading my troubles btw | HISTORICAL | {
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DIqVYBKEao655DjlinJ1cUgHPsCPpZxT | as2ogi | {
"description": "ignoring guys I meet on tinder",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for ignoring guys I meet on tinder? | I recently downloaded Tinder to see what all the hype was about. I wasn’t really seeking a deep, meaningful relationship. In all honesty, I was just bored and wanted to see if I could meet someone interesting on the off chance that I hit it off with someone.
I wasn’t aware that females are supposedly very in demand on the app. Within minutes, I had a bunch of likes which kind of overwhelmed me. I swiped right on maybe 5 guys and had a conversation with 3. We exchanged numbers/social media in order to converse and I guess get to know each other better? I deleted the app right this.
All of them want to meet up with me sometime this week, but I honestly don’t feel a connection with any of them. I don’t click with any of them, and I simply don’t think I’d be a good match for any of the guys I spoke to. They all seem very nice, and all my messages to them were also polite and friendly. I didn’t flirt or give the impression of wanting to meet up/have a relationship. However, the fact that I was on tinder maybe have conveyed a different message?
I feel like I’m really awkward when it comes to turning people down. So I’ve just resorted to ignoring their messages. I feel kind of shitty about it, but I figured I don’t owe them anything. I know I agreed to meet up initially, but only because I didn’t know how to say no. I don’t want to waste their time or mine by going to a date, having them spend any amount of money, only to not have anything come of it.
I’m considering just blocking them all, but would that make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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NQihoAkv1kQ3NEf44PrdFKeKJ8MeVICK | az5hc2 | {
"description": "requesting my bf to stop playing Apex at 5 in the morning",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for requesting my bf to stop playing Apex at 5 in the morning? | I'll start by saying I (23f) already feel like an asshole, but maybe you guys can set me straight. Last night (friday night) my bf (21) played a bar show, he's a lead guitar player and he absolutely nailed it, it was a great show- everyone had a lovely time and we both got inebriated enough to where we couldn't drive home. We got to my house at about 12:30 fooled around for a little bit and then I went to bed sometime around 1:15. I was drunk and tired and I had also worked that day I wanted to go to sleep and he wanted to play Apex with his friend on my PS4, fine by me! I let him play my PS4 whenever he wants to. Since Apex came out, he plays a lot. Every time he is at my house which is very often he plays at least 4 to 6 hours worth of Apex. Almost every night that he stays at my house he's up till at least 2am but usually three or four. I can't stay up that late. So anyway I'm asleep and he's in the room right next to me maybe 7 feet away talking in a normal conversation tone with his buddy online. the room next to me doesn't have a full wall dividing it so I can hear him as if he's in the same room next to me. I've adapted to sleep through him talking but if I'm being honest I never sleep that great. I am a light sleeper by Nature. So here's where I need your help. Last night I wake up in what I think is the middle of the night but I look at my phone and it's 5 in the morning. I have to be at work at 9 in the morning. My first thought is that he doesn't know how late it actually is. He doesn't usually stay up that late. So I get out of bed and walk over to him. I'm half drunk and half hungover, I have a headache and in general I don't feel that great. He's having a great time laughing and being very animated with his friend. I asked him if he knows that it's 5 a.m.( he later tells me that he did know) and I tell him that he should come to bed. He can't answer me because his friend is on the other side of the mic so I go back into my bed. He tells his friend to hang on and he comes over to me and I reiterate what I said once again. He agrees and then goes and turns off the PS4 without even saying goodbye to his friend. This is when I felt like I had done something wrong. I wanted him to come to bed but I wasn't requesting he get off the PS4 immediately. I usually snuggle him in bed but I just felt in general shitty and we both just fell asleep after that. I got the feeling that he was disappointed and I hated the feeling of being like his mom. He's still sleeping and he probably will be until about one or two p.m.
Did I make an unreasonable request,? Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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TXDp4ojolWoLXluKqON1DJ9mMrmHgVyH | apk4dq | {
"description": "turning down my boyfriend's Valentines Day plans because they were ambiguous",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for turning down my boyfriend's Valentines Day plans because they were ambiguous? | For context we both drove home from our shared apartment in another state because one of his family members are on their deathbed. I'm saying at my parents house and we drove in his car, but he rented a car when he got here with his family. I've been home this morning/afternoon because he said we would watch the shows we usually watch together every week over skype. Apparently he had to get his glasses fixed so he said he'd be ready in an hour. Then this happened.
Basically this is what occurred over text
>Him: hey do you want to go to this Japanese supermarket for valentines day in FarTown(a town that's an hour north of us)
>Me: ok!
>Me: wait that's so far away why in FarTown?
>Him: a large number of interests converge there lol, I wanted to go there for food but I also left my headphone at Jack's house so I need to pick them up, and I also have a secret valentines day reason...but if you don't wanna go I can do all that tomorrow or something lol
>Me: what did you have in mind?
>Him: nvm I'll just go by myself probably
>Me: ok
>Him:I mean if you wanna tag along you are free too *funny emoji*
>Me: I mean I do wanna spend time with you but I don't know what saying yes to these plans means which is why I asked
This city is right next to NYC so I wasn't sure if these secret plans were going to be **surprise! we're going to the city!** or **surprise! we're hanging out with my friend**
>Me: Just cause if I'm picking you up it's an hour to your house and an hour back to mine
I'm trying to work on building my self-esteem right now so I mentioned my thoughts here because I felt like he might not be considering how any trip might be magnified by this distance. I felt bad about it though because he is the reason I'm here in the first place, but also I feel like my time is valuable too.
>Him: I mean if it's too inconvenient for u I can just go by myself it's ok *shrug emoji*
I got nervous here because he used the word *inconvenient* which seemed loaded since I've been telling him I wanna be there for him through this grieving process
>Me: Ok I'm not gonna go then. It's not inconvenient I just don't like saying yes when I don't know what we're gonna do lol. Are you gonna be busy on Valentines Day then though or just gonna do it tomorrow? Cause I do wanna spend time with u on valentines day *heart emoji*
>Him: For the japanese supermarket I was gonna take you to the chocolate shop embedded in the store but I'll just get something when I'm there since you apparently don't trust me enough with surprises
>Me: Ok I mean I trust you it's just ambiguous I was like if we're going to the city I'd wanna take out cash. Since it's a far ride I wanted to know if it was farther lol
>Him: you can watch (show out of the 3 that i care most about) if you want I'll catch up some other time
>Me: what about (the two other shows he's more into)
>Him: they can wait till I'm in a better mood
>me: ok
Like I said before I'm trying to work on my self-esteem and I don't know if saying no was the right thing here or if that made me an asshole. If he asks again I'm probably gonna stick with not going because I've already changed my answer to no in the text. I tried to show him that I care and wanna hang out for valentines day. I want to know if I'm the asshole because I'm trying to learn the line and how to say no to people.
| HISTORICAL | {
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W3aUJx6ymRbEv0YDtNpXuDJ7iQhyDdzE | arhzba | {
"description": "asking roommate to not keep junk food in the kitchen",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for asking roommate to not keep junk food in the kitchen? | Throw away because roommate is on Reddit.
I have self control issues when it comes to junk food, and am trying to lose weight.
If I see junk food in the cupboard I will think about it every time I get a craving, and eventually cave. I always replace what I eat but then the cycle repeats.
I've asked my roommate to just find other places to keep his junk food so I'm not tempted. And he tells me rather condescendingly to just learn to control myself.
I'm trying. I've stopped grabbing junk food at the impulse racks by the register at the store, and I've gotten really good at only buying the things on my grocery list. But in the late night when the sugar cravings hit if I know there are sweets in the house my willpower fails me.
I don't think I'm even asking too much of him to just start storing his junk food in his own room instead of the communal cupboards. We don't have bug problems or anything that would limit where things can be stored.
Most recently I just replaced a package of cookies I inhaled and he yelled at me to stop eating his food.
AITA here? Like just store your shit in your room where I never set foot. | HISTORICAL | {
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OBni8We0bA2oVX5sKwGWPSfhPLoOIJf1 | avksoq | {
"description": "asking a gay classmate to be a little discreet about his sexuality for a trip",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked a gay classmate to be a little discreet about his sexuality for a trip? | I have a gay classmate that’s going on a 3 week trip to Abu Dhabi. He’s a really great person, he owns his sexuality, and has no shame in who he is, which is awesome. However though, I’m a bit concerned. I’m Arab, and I’ve lived in Arab countries, and even gone to Abu Dhabi myself. People there are not accepting. They are absolutely against the LGBTQ+ community. They arrest gay couples. Just so holding hands with a person of the same sex can get you dirty looks, and with boys, it can get you attacked. Aside from the discrimination, the country is really beautiful, and the experience is great. He sounds really excited about the trip, and I don’t want his experience to be ruined.
WIBTA if I warned him and told him to be a little discreet about his sexuality during his time there? Would I sound homophobic?
I just want him to be careful. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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0ENYHvlsinayHXb0dqVnLEzSjWgzOide | b6mja2 | {
"description": "not wanting to help him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to help him | I‘m on the phone and English is my second language, sorry for any mistakes!
So, I have this classmate that has ADHD and depression. We have some similar interests so we usually got along pretty good.
But recently he started taking out his moods on me. One minute he would be having a friendly chat with me, the other he would insult me, shove me away and mess with my things. He has no respect for other people‘s belongings and never knows when to stop.
A week ago I told him that I didn‘t want to be friends with him anymore because I wasn‘t interessted in being his personal punch bag. He then told me that he was only being an asshole because of his mental problems and self hate.
At the time I kinda accepted that and was cool with him again, but he kept being like this, even though he promised me to stop.
Now, am I an asshole for wanting to cut him out of my life because I feel like he‘s trying to guilt me into staying friends with him?
One time he even texted me that „if I fuck up my relationship with you aswell, I can end it [his life] anyway.“ after having a fight with another friend. I know that he goes to therapy but I‘m still worried he‘s gonna do something to himself if I hurt him. | HISTORICAL | {
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FPoKGAquDT6aX5wkeiobztmPXkfhAN1T | alsd4d | {
"description": "still being upset about an incident 5 years ago",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for still being upset about an incident 5 years ago? | Here’s the deal: My family is very close to our neighbors, they’re pretty much an extension of our family and I personally respect and adore them.
In 2015 I joined them for thanksgiving (my whole family out of town, I stayed cuz I had too much hw from college so no issues there) and their 26 year old nephew from NYC joined us. From the moment he walked in he gave me a weird vibe.
Anyways, at the time my phone had a corner “popping out” if that makes any sense, like I needed to take it somewhere to fix it so the screen would be even. I made a comment about it to me neighbor and this guy went “I can fix that!” Takes my phone and presses on it HARD, aaand my screen shattered (and mind you Im a broken college student living at home) he just gave it back to me “I tried” I was LIVID. His aunt was completely horrified. At this point Im like “leave it, dont make a scene at their house, we’ll have to deal with it later”. We sat at the table and his aunt goes “you know you have a job and should help her pay for the screen you shattered” he looked straight at me and went “yea, maybe in her dreams” WTF? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I didnt even ask for help! At the end I just left after dinner and was able to save some money and fix it myself. My family wasnt happy about it but we’re thankful I wasn’t rude to anybody. They simply asked me to be friendly to the guy for our neighbors.
Ever since, he messages me on fb or instagram at least once every couple of months. For the last 4 YEARS, he tries to get me to come to NYC, or his “art shows” in miami, etc. I never reply and he is always trying to play nice “hey I just wanna know how you’re doing” My neighbor is always saying he does that cuz they know he is attracted to me and feels guilty about what happened... and is not used to girls avoiding him.
My friend thinks I should be civil and need to move on from what happened. But I just dont want to talk to him? I wont even go to my neighbor’s if he’s there. And my family dont want me to block him to avoid issues with his family. I told him years ago I probably would never attend one of his art shows, not interested but he is still messaging me. (Some people want to tell me he is just being friendly or that Im being childish for not going to their house when he is there but I dont see it that way)
AITA for ignoring him and not move on from the 2015 incident? Last month I got 3 messages from him and audio begging to talk to me and catch up, but honeslty I just dont want anything to do with him. | HISTORICAL | {
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mdURt6XHL8Ac0tYxw3fbOlWKRFTXvsOl | afmgl7 | {
"description": "letting an ex-friend end our friendship because of my behavior",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for letting an ex-friend end our friendship because of my behavior? | Tl,dr: bff has BPD and struggles with depression, I do too. We support each other until she decides to end a friendship with another friend of ours. I ask why, she answers that the other friend lied (she didn’t). I try to talk reasonably with her to no avail.
In the end she cut ties with me on the basis that I was “being cold” to her, even though I wanted to be supportive of ALL of my friends.
I [16f] met a girl [22f] on Amino after me and another person [17m] became friends in a public chat (which is now closed), me and him promised her to ‘protect’ the chat so it wouldn’t be banned off of the community.
She hit me up in PM about various stuff she wanted me to do and also complimented me on my amazing work on her chat room, we often discussed about our personal lives and mental struggles, you know, the usual stuff.
She had in that time confessed to me about her mental struggles with BPD.
It is a condition which one cannot control their emotions very well, to say the least.
I assured her that it wouldn’t affect our friendship and in turn I confessed with my own struggles with depression and anxiety.
After some time of everything being normal, for the most part, I started to notice how clingy and sensitive she was being. On multiple occasions she had thrown away friendships like they meant nothing to her, then would come straight to me about it, of course. I would ask why she did that and try to rationalize with her, but she never listened.
The time after this was just so depressing for me, she’d on every conversation we’d ever had since then was about how she wanted to die and how she wasn’t deserving of being loved, I always told her otherwise.
After being absent from our chat and PMs for a while she told me she’d taken a bunch of pills, was planning on ODing. I tried to help her get to the hospital or get her help, but to no avail. She ended up, to my relief, surviving though.
I was relieved beyond belief, however, she wasn’t the same after that. She was cold and, as I would describe it, heartless.
I’ll skip until the REAL event.
I got told by another friend [14f] that my suicidal friend had cut ties with her because she had accused her of lying about her schedule, pretty childish for a grown woman. So I cautiously approached her and asked her about it.
Of course, she also now accused ME of being cold to HER, just as she had been to me for the past weeks. I cannot deny that I indeed had been a bit rude to her on the basis that she had shoved multiple amazing friends out of her life, then expected me to do the same with them.
Long story short, we aren’t friends anymore after sending me a whole novel about how disappointed she was in me and how she regretted my friendship with me.
I sent one back, it was something along the lines of:
“I loved our relationship and I would have done anything for you, but you were cold to me, lied to me, and excepted too much. I’m sorry you ever felt unwanted, because you weren’t. Goodbye.”
That’s pretty much it, but I do have to add that this was over the course of a few months and she had made several blogs on what happened in her life.
On two or more occasions she had used my whole name for everyone to see, without my consent as well as others’ , I refrained from ever releasing anyone’s name over the course of these months.
I now have her blocked.
Am I the asshole for letting her end the friendship. | HISTORICAL | {
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oF70xxLEB2zITof2P9qyzNYbAGxR00Lg | al4k8r | {
"description": "banning Japanese in my group chat",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for banning Japanese in my group chat? | Me and my close knit friend group of four other people have a discord server where we discuss pretty much everything. Lately we’ve all been drifting apart slowly and not posting as much as we used to, this is mostly because we now all go to different schools.
We’ll call everyone involved H, E, F and D.
Me and F are the admins of the server, we can change roles and nicknames and basically everything. The others can’t do shit. Since discord servers can be easily customized with nickname changing of members and channel names it has become a little bit of a tradition to change up themes for the server every now and then.
These two guys, E and H are learning Japanese and at times discuss it in the group chat. I saw the opportunity and took it. I made an announcement asking people to vote yes or no on banning serious discussion of the Japanese language. The vote was determined by reacting on the message with emojis.
Three people voted, E, H and I. They both voted for “no” and I for yes. I decided to meme it up a little and change the emojis around so Japanese was now banned. I set up the roles and nicknames to reference a type of authoritarian regime where discussing Japanese is forbidden.
E gets mad at me and starts DMing me. The conversation can basically be summed up as him thinking that it’s fucked up that some people are admin and others aren’t in a group chat meant for friends. I can kinda agree with him there.
I was in a voice call with D while this was happening and he came up with the brilliant idea that I should type “honestly I want everyone to be admin except D”. I say that and that I hate D very much. E goes “where tf did that come from” and when I tell him it’s a joke he says “this is not the right time to meme”.
THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO MEME
He’s mad at me and goes on to tell me that he feels that I’ve been abusing my power as an admin with the theme changes and everything. He says that he finds it “totally confusing” and that he feels powerless.
In short he’s mad that 2/5 people in the friend group have admin powers and the rest don’t. He has complained about this before but never the theme changes. He complains about all this to me and never mentions the other admin and he tells me that “if anyone should be admin it really shouldn’t be you”.
I feel like he has a couple of points but mostly I feel like he’s overreacting extremely. He seems angry and frustrated over what is, yes, the main form of communication between our friend group but also just a huge shitpost. Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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ujo5XCf3x95tIXEhXfIKZ3XH4MX6h0IE | a77i57 | null | AITA? Phone privacy asshole things | AITA?
So I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, he's cheated on me physically twice, and sexted several hundred women since we got together. I promised like 1 year ago not to snoop through his phone anymore (I know, I'm the asshole there, but it's the only way I ever figured out anything was happening), but recently, he's been doing weird shit with his phone. He hides his passcode from me, and when he thinks I've seen it, he changes it again like immediately. This has happened literally like 3 times in one day. I wasn't interested in looking (as per my promise) but now that he's doing that, it definitely raises a red flag or 5.
So, like a normal adult, I asked him if he could show me my phone because of the weird stuff he's been doing, just to make me feel better, and he just told me straight up "no". He explained that he isn't doing anything (which anyone would say whether they were cheating or not, and he HAS lied in the past) and that it just makes him uncomfortable. I tried for several minutes and even had some waterworks and still, not allowed to see it.
Now, the internet will tell me that "privacy is important and the fact that you stayed with him after all of this means that you trust him and that you have no right to look in his phone because you already decided to trust him", but like...I still think I have the right to see what he's doing. I have the right to ask, and I have the right to be upset that he won't show me. I'm his partner and I don't give a fuck if he looks at my phone, I have nothing to hide.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
F0Bvg4dKMZTUqfM70EYHEeMZUAvvJvcz | b19vdw | {
"description": "\"offending\" a Christian",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for “offending” a Christian? | First post here! Hi, so I’m not Christian, which is gonna be important later on.
So I have 2 good friends, Girl A, and Girl B. Both are really Faithful Christians. A and I talk over a small app because she doesn’t have a phone, and B and I text, so I sometimes exchange messages from A to B.
One day A was crying about something and told me to text B to get on the small app so they can talk. I asked her what’s wrong and she said, “You won’t understand because you’re not Christian.” I personally don’t believe EVERYTHING Christians do, but belief and understanding something are different.
So I give an “ok.” And told B to get on because A needed her. B got on and thought I was mad because A didn’t want me to talk to about the situation. So B asked me if I was mad and I said no. A and B I’m guessing talked about what A was sad about, and A messaged me apologizing for “not telling me”. I didn’t care and I told her it was her life and her choice, and that I’ll leave her alone to talk about her “Christian Thing” with B.
This was somehow offensive to her, and she told me that I ruined her day and that I was a brotherly friend but not anymore because I was rude and offensive. B then messages me harassing me for the same reasons as A.
They both blocked me and I’m still in shock because I honestly thought it wasn’t offensive, and that it was a stupid reason to be mad about.
They both mean a lot to me, so people of Reddit, am I an Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
4IE02GDKFSS5KnhW7GLuToiza7iXJ9O1 | b3hco3 | {
"description": "telling my gf not to send me pics of her dying grandfather",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 32
} | AITA for telling my GF not to send me pics of her dying grandfather? | So my gf’s great grandfather has been in a nursing home for roughly 10 years now. He has sever dementia/Alzheimer’s, and is essentially a shell of a person. He can’t talk, he can’t eat, his mouth just stays open. There’s been no sign of any consciousness for years now.
He’s finally “dying” and her family has seen him 3x in the past week. She sent me a picture (1) of him the other day, basically just laying there with his mouth open. I feel bad for him, but in my eyes she was just showing me him.
Today she sent me a few (3) pictures of her and him, then her, her grandpa, and him. Them smiling or whatever, him, obviously just laying there not even knowing they’re taking a picture.
I said something to her along the lines of, “If we grow old together, I hope you don’t let that happen to me. That is absolutely awful, no one wants to wither away like that. I think it’s fucked up you’re taking pictures with him, because if it were me, I would not wish to be remembered like that. I wouldn’t want pictures of my dead brain inside my dying body, period. Stop sending me pictures of you guys it’s fucking despicable.”
I know I could’ve been nicer about the way I worded it, I just think it’s disgusting he’s layed in that bed now for years without a conscious thought, and they’re all taking pictures together. I wouldn’t want to even be seen like that, and I think his wishes would’ve been similar.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 31,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 32
} | WRONG |
CSHgsTxmDEEJWmftmbkq3gazJGYPkKUF | b3yxnm | {
"description": "being upset my wife called me fat",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being upset my wife called me fat? | Why is it unacceptable for a man to call a woman fat... or ugly... or put them down about their physical appearance in any way but when a woman calls a man fat we're suppose to just "get over it" or "relax"?
Is this fair?
​
I have never.... EVER spoken negatively about my wifes physical appearance. Not once. I am (was?) the luckiest man on earth in that department. Hands down.
I have ALWAYS been self conscious about my looks. I was bullied for many, many years because I was short and ironically now..... too skinny. I ALWAYS hear comments.... (as recently as 2 months ago) why is she with him? How did he get a woman like that? etc.
She always made me feel good about mysellf. Until.....
She said I look like Randy from the trailer park boys :( yeah.... just google him if you don't know.
Now I am literally starving myself to lose 30 lbs.
My daughters are asking why I'm not eating eating dinner with them. My wife says I am over reacting.
This is the same discussion about mens mental health and men not being able to talk about their feelings/issues etc.... because I am just suppose to "get over" her saying that. (According to her) Or not take it personally. Or she didn't mean it. (What???)
It hurts. A lot. I don't even want to be in my own home. I don't want her to look at me. I don't want her to hug my "fat" belly.
What makes it worse... is when I am feeling this down she is the one I can talk to.... I have nobody else. But I can't talk to her about this because I should just be over it.
So.... AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 10,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
8OO8Rf0vzIAm787L5FdjmuNhRkdjxMVV | aurkgv | {
"description": "making a date split the bill",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for making a date split the bill? | Had a tinder date qyite a while back, we text where to meet and when. she also said please let her know a short while in advanced of the actual date itself.
So on the day im about 15 minutes away from where we meant to meet, i text her and its very obvious that she has forgotten about it. She sends me a series of text and says she'll be late. This really puts me off her straight away but everyone makes mistakes so i thought just carry on regardless. She turns up about 45 mins or so late and we chat and have a few drinks and something to eat together. The date is ok but it turns out im not into her at all (the bit where shes says her mum is her best friend and they like to knit together really killed it for me).
At the end i ask for the bill, when i get it and then ask for it to be split. I doesn't come to a great deal but i dont see why i should pay for everything when she forgot, ends up quite late and frankly is a bit of a crap date anyway. | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
32KL92cuqlIxWR4rNpMA7kbD9Rw0lDS1 | a3zze0 | {
"description": "calling someone a nice guy right next to him",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling someone a nice guy right next to him | A little bit of a long post I'm sorry! TLDR at bottom
​
I was visiting my local tabletop/boardgame store in our town with my ex (we're still good friends - were together for 3 years, known eachother for 6+ and broken up almost 2 - 3 months now) because there was a MTG tournament and thought we'd drop by for a moment to say hello.
Immediately as we walked in we got greeted by a lot of people we all know, and proceeded to sit next to some friends who were playing. One of our mutual friends was playing against R, my ex already knew R and is sort of friends with him (the kind of friend you see at lot at gatherings with other mutual friends). We started up a conversation during their match because it was nothing too serious and they can play very well while holding a conversation.
R asked in a little bit of a condescending tone "oh hey so RJ (ex), this is your girlfriend right?". My ex and I looked at eachother and I said "it's a long story" and he filled in with "we're exes now, but still good friends". R immediately responded with "oh that's even better for me, that means I have a chance!" with the creepiest smile ever on his face. I laughed it of and tried to turn the conversation in a whole other direction.
After only half a minute or so my ex and I switched over to another table to "annoy" other people during their match, we weren't planning on staying for longer than 10 minutes anyway, just having some smalltalk. My ex eventually held a conversation with someone for a little time (talking about the trip to england they're on now for a MTG tournament) and I just looked at the match from another table. R thought it was a good idea to (literally) corner me and start a conversation, I already had some creepy vibes from him but the way he talked to me was so rude.
A little bit of information: I fucking HATE playing magic the gathering, I've tried it, didn't like it, I'm a sore loser, it's all on me but I really HATE playing this fucking game, but I do like watching in and people can talk about how much they love it to me and I will listen to you for HOURS!
During the "conversation" between R and I, the only thing he said was "oh hey do you wanna play MTG sometime? Can I show you how to play MTG sometime? Can I give you some MTG cards then? \[these are not the cheap cards mind you\] Don't you want to play a quick game right now then, it'll only be 20 minutes!? When are you visiting the store again? do you come here often" I (kindly) declined everything and told him I don't visit that often, only when I need painting supplies for warhammer and started fidgeting a little with my phone. He just kept going on, eventually I wiggled my way closer to my ex because I feel very safe near him and hoped he'd join into this conversation.
My ex is quite oblivious to signals btw. I tried signalling him that I really wanted someone to join this conversation, and eventually my ex and his conversation partner joined into our conversation. When they did, R just left?!? When my ex and his conversation partner started talking without me again R came back with..... A WHOLE FUCKING DECK OF MAGIC THE GATHERING CARDS ?!?! Appearantly he went to the counter of the store and got one for me, even though I told him that 1) I didn't like playing magic the gathering. Heck even my ex and his conversation partner told him so (they've tried several times already)! 2) wasn't interested in learning magic the gathering more 3) don't want another hobby/game to play!
When the conversation (finally) ended after I told my ex to his face several times "hey RJ I really want to go, we should get going, we have more stuff to do this afternoon, we're running a bit late" we still ended up 2 or 3 more minutes in the store. I told my ex that I was really uncomfortable talking with R (I almost whispered while saying this to him) and that he should've picked up all the signals I was giving him. He told me he was sorry that he didn't pick up on any signal. I said it was okay, but told him that "R is really sending me some nice guy vibes and it's creeping me out a lot, I really want to go home" , not knowing I said this a little bit louder than intended. R wasn't standing right next to us but could've heard us maybe.
So, am I the asshole for calling R a niceguy?
TL;DR : went to a local tabletop/boardgame store, started up a conversation person kept pressuring me into a conversation without other people and got me a MTG deck whilst I told him several times I wasn't interested in playing the game AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
pSR5kY8cIFQptvjAGea6jzidGaQQ17jd | b8yeaq | {
"description": "dumping out coffee",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for dumping out coffee? | My work provides free coffee. Bless. We brew it ourselves out of those pre-measured packets, have a variety of flavors and roasts, etc. It’s not the best coffee, but I’m not complaining about free.
We typically have 3-4 carafes out at once, each with a different roast and we leave the empty coffee bag in front to indicate what’s inside. I have my preference but will drink almost any of them. The thing is, the VAST majority of people making coffee will only use one packet when, if you read the instructions and apply a tad bit of common sense, you should actually use two. I thought it was just awful coffee for short while before I discovered most people just used one packet.
So, when I come in to get coffee, there is almost always an empty carafe, and I will take that one and brew coffee the correct way. I leave both bags out in front of the carrafe to indicate that it’s a stronger coffee so no one is taken by surprise.
The thing is, every so often, maybe one out of 10-12 times, all carafes are pretty much full, so I will take one and dump out the weak coffee, and replace it with the coffee I made. There are 300 of us drinking this coffee, so we go through a lot, so in my mind one dumped carafe isn’t that much of a waste, especially since they made it with only one bag.
AITA for wasting bad coffee? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
uyDOyPLmnWoooFsDvLc4Xva05ZuTHUJV | a4nfz0 | {
"description": "not immediately greeting my mom when she walked in and not hearing her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not immediately greeting my mom when she walked in and not hearing her. | Howdy. So I (M,14) was listening to music when she came home so I couldn't here her saying something . She then said it again and I hear and said "what?". Then she had a fit about my disrespect. Prior to this she'd already rubbed in that she had sushi while going to the grocery store while I stayed home and had eggs, so I saw that as petty. So I nonetheless walked out the door to go get a Christmas tree with her but our wreath was broken since my bass guitar had hit it accidentally. When she pointed it out I said "well maybe I could go around the back door to avoid that next time". Then she said I was rude for not apologizing and greeting her and said that I drained the holiday spirit from her and I needed to "see the light". After that point things mostly devolved into a screaming match with her saying I was an asshole. So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kYXjwGWFEU8JKrM3b5UFOQfgN9jJVCbO | a73zzl | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend to kick his ex-girlfriend off of his Netflix account",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend to kick his ex-girlfriend off of his Netflix account? | Boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. He was broken up with the ex for like a month before he and I became official.
My boyfriend and the ex don’t talk, as far as I know. But she’s still on his Netflix account.
My thing is, I feel like if you’re no longer in a relationship, you’d probably cut ties like this.
My boyfriend gave me the Netflix password as well. But sometimes I get locked out of his Netflix because there can only be two screens going at a time. So my boyfriend, the ex, and I can’t all use it separately at once. That’s how I first found out she’s still on it.
I asked my boyfriend why he doesn’t change his password and he sort of brushed it off and said he felt bad or something.
I’m honestly annoyed. I can afford my own Netflix but it’s the principle, for me. It sort of bothers me that he would want to pay for someone who he’s not dating anymore. And he acts as if this girl was so awful to him as well, so it’s not like it ended on good terms.
Am I wrong for pushing him to boot her out?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SE3deIKkMCMYOqEk0VKMKGwiQXPOzl7T | b1lwov | {
"description": "blocking my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking my friend? | So there’s this girl who I used to be friends with, let’s call her G. For the past two years, this girl has been going out of her way to stalk and harass me. Some of the things she has done include showing up to my work and trying to get me fired, copying all of my outfits, down to my socks, following all my friends on Instagram and trying to turn them against me, and making fake accounts on Snapchat and Instagram to send me harassing messages under the hopes that it will make me depressed or something. (They say things like “goodbye maowang99” and “why doesn’t she just die already”) I’m unsure of her motive exactly (and I’ve been to the police but they won’t do anything)
The issue I’m writing about is that she recently followed one of my friends on Instagram and has been liking and commenting on all her photos. This friend does NOT KNOW G at all and told me about this. I recommend she block G and she did for about 24 hours. The next day, they were following each other and liking each other’s posts again and making plans in my friends comment section to hang out sometime. I know I can’t dictate who someone is friends with, but I’ve talked to my friend about my feelings and how G’s reached out to other friends the same way and they ended up blocking me for unknown reasons and never talking to me again. My friend says I’m overreacting, and that it shouldn’t matter if she’s friends with G or not because nothing is going to happen. I ended up blocking my friend on everything, but a part of me feels like maybe I am overreacting. AITA for not trusting my friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ttEJ8QtHA3VtNOVkYEfZST93UxElJ8bM | abqge1 | {
"description": "wanting to walk away when l have just promised not to do exactly that",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting to walk away when l have just promised not to do exactly that? | So I (30 F) have been seeing Derek (26 M) on and off for about 6 years. We’ve never been in a committed relationship during this time. We’ve just been in a bit of a cycle of seeing each other for a short time and then things falling apart with me ultimately ending things or even worse just ghosting (I feel just disgusting about that behaviour, and definitely ATA for the majority of the time I’ve known Derek- this is important to the current state of affairs).
A few months ago we started talking again and I really wanted to try and make something more than the weird quasi-relationship we’d always fallen into. So now, being fully aware of how shitty I was in the past, I have tried to make it clear that I am sorry for how I behaved, that I want to try for something more, and that I would not repeat my past actions.
He had agreed that he wants more but then really hasn’t made any effort to even see me outside of casual hangouts at his place. I’ve stressed that I need and want more than a sexual relationship, which again he agreed he wanted as well.
Bad timing there, as he had a vacation planned and was away for a few weeks and he didn’t have time to see me in the few days before he left. So everything was put on hold. But, now that he’s been back in town for about a week he hasn’t made any effort to see me other than an offer to have me come over since I’d mentioned I was in his area on a jog (I declined this offer).
I’ve been feeling like he’s just not that into me, but when we talk about it he says that’s not the case. I recently pressed harder on it and he revealed that he has been very hurt by my actions and doesn’t really trust me but that he wants to and needs me to be more consistent for that to happen. I promised again that I was not going to repeat past behaviour.
But in our exchanges since this conversation I feel like he is being very dismissive and passive aggressive with me, snapping at me and making mean spirited jokes at my expense. I can’t shake the feeling that something just isn’t right. My gut is saying he just wants to even the score a little and that he is probably at least casually seeing someone else (I have no evidence of this other than me driving myself crazy). All of this has me feeling alone, rejected, sad and confused.
So that’s it then, AITA for wanting to walk away one final time because my feelings are hurt, even though I literally just promised I wouldn’t do exactly that? Help. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
W0BJoUmi6iDNcEywb4KALApzyCTgHhlr | aobtu6 | {
"description": "not contributing to my brother's rehab fund",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not contributing to my brother’s rehab fund? | Throwaway bc personal life. & sorry for the long story..
I am the oldest of 5 children. My middle brother (22m) recently admitted himself to a psychiatric hospital for drug use after a friend of his threatened to turn him in if he didn’t seek help for his addictions. Prior to this, he was staying with me, my husband & my child for a little over 4 months, 3 of which he was unemployed, basically just mooching until I told him he HAD to get a job. Also, while he was staying with us, he stole from my kids piggy bank & my husbands cash stash. He wasn’t aware that these existed until he searched through our rooms while we weren’t home. He has stolen from our parents and my other siblings on multiple occasions.
At first I was really proud of him for seeking help. I realize that the thievery May have had a lot to do with his drug problem; however since entering rehab he has continuously demanded that he be provided with unnecessary items for his stay at an inpatient rehab. And refused to contribute to a work program offered by the facility. The costs are reaching $10,000 for out of pocket expenses not covered by my parents insurance.
My dad has refused to hand over money for the treatment, suggesting selling what little assets my brother has to pay for his treatment. His thought process is that if getting well means that much to him, he will want to contribute in some way.
My mom on the other hand has resorted to guilting my other two siblings, 23 & 19, who still live at home, into handing over their savings which they earned on through their own means. The 23 yo is saving money to move out on her own and the 19yo was recently released from prison & is working his ass off to turn his life around and purchase his own car.
The kicker is that this isn’t a loan type situation. She expects and they feel obligated to just hand it over without being paid back. I have talked to then both & this isn’t what they want to do, they just feel like they have to.
I told my mom how I feel about it, and she believes that I’m turning my back on him. I love him and want him to have successful and fulfilling life, but I don’t agree with the others having to pay for it.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fQANHpt2Vmnpg0LsjckVhbogp6VeFj7b | 9ts29v | {
"description": "saying I was going to repo car",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying I was going to repo car? | So - had to sell car. Adult family member (FAM), in a different state, needed car, agreed to take over payments. Everything still in my name, as they can't get loans, etc.
Payment were made on time, car just got paid off. Haven't signed title over yet.
6 months ago, started getting toll bills. Passed them along, FAM said they would be taken care of. Didn't happen. I've reminded them monthly, sent copies of bills. Eventually part of the bill went to court - got a small judgment against me. They won't tell me what they are doing to take care of it, just "trying". But nothing has changed - no payments, no info that they called, etc.
FAM recently, maybe 2 months ago, had a huge shake up with living situation and apperently isn't doing great mentally. I haven't inquired into exact situation, but I'm sure it's very rough going.
Told FAM that if significant movement wasn't made on the matter early next week, I would be coming to get car and selling it for the toll and court costs. I explained that i can't have more hits to my credit and court decisions against me and I wasn't letting this hang anymore.
FAM and family are flipping out on me. Saying I'm screwing her over, not taking her status in to consideration.
I'm scared that I'm going to have things on my record that are going to haunt me forever.
Aita?
(throwaway for reasons...) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wKtI7Y258NOOOgDCadimGt3BLYhSO2xX | a7nns4 | {
"description": "refusing to have a stranger pray for me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to have a stranger pray for me | This happened a few months ago.
Basically, I'm sitting alone at a table outside on campus, minding my own business, eating lunch, playing phone games. Then some dude walks up to me and asks if there's anything that he can pray for for me. I, being somewhat taken aback, and an atheist, said "please don't" and turned away. He seemed like he was not expecting this response, but left me alone.
I didn't really have anything weighing on me at the time, so even if I was religious/wanted his prayers, I would have had to sit and think a bit about what I would need praying for. Which probably would have also soured my happy mood. I figured pulling something out of my ass that sounded good but had no truth to it would be more disrespectful on a spiritual level, though it might have been better on a personal level. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
l1tPFQ32pBxkJr5p4NwZozIZGnSkMRBH | b4rybu | {
"description": "telling my brother it's weird he still lives at home",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my brother (27) it's weird he still lives at home? | I'm terrible in arguments. Palms sweaty, knees weak, puking spaghetti, whatever you get it. I'm trying to piece it together.
My brother's 27 and still lives at home. He's totally capable of moving out, he just likes saving the money. Fair enough, I guess. His gf has been telling him she wishes he'd move out, which he's ok with as long as she splits with him. She's still in college. She's 21, unable to pitch in much so she'll have to ask her parents for help. This is only important because he's brought it up to me 3-4 times, signaling that it bothers him. He always ends his complaints with something along the lines of "if she won't do the hard thing and ask her parents for help then I don't have to do the hard thing and pay for my own place."
Jump to this argument. He was complaining again. I was just listening. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Complain all you want, friend. Except, he noticed I was quiet. I explained that he didn't ask for my opinion, so it's not my job to give it.
Then he asks for my opinion.
I told him he was 27, financially responsible and capable, and it was probably time to move out. It was probably time years ago. I think it's stagnating his maturity. It's a little weird he's still at home at this point, honestly. I told him all this, and the harshness of it was probably where I went wrong. He did ask for my opinion, so I gave it--that doesn't excuse being a dick if I was one (was I? I don't know...).
He got defensive. Went on a rant about how life isn't a checklist, how it's weird that I don't have a gf (had a really rough breakup a few months ago. Shit, you can dig through my post history if you want some background info), it's weird that I owe mom money for car repairs. He was trying to make a point (edit: the point that life isn't a checklist, and if it were I'd be weird too), but damn he didn't need to attack me. He claimed he was defending himself, but hmm ouch didn't sign up for that.
He was emotional. So was I. I tried to leave it at this: he clearly has a lot of emotion tied up in this and he has to figure out why. Further, I was hurt by his attacks (he insisted he wasn't attacking, but I felt attacked so what's the deal?) when he just asked for my opinion.
If you're asking me, he should've either respected my opinion or not asked in the first place. I feel he owes me an apology but I'm often wrong about these things.
Tl;dr:
Brother (27) still lives at home, though he is more than capable of moving out (could buy a small house cash if he wanted to). He asked my opinion. I told him it was weird that he lived at home still. He got defensive, brought up my extremely painful breakup. It got messy.
Was I too harsh to tell him it's weird or does he owe me an apology? Maybe both? | HISTORICAL | {
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nYbf0oz7s1UkakZkz7Km5e9JiwKf6eCZ | ap1vmi | {
"description": "starting to resent my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for starting to resent my grandmother | I’m 17 years old and currently staying at my grandmother’s house temporarily. I’ve been in New York for 5 months and I was with my dad, but a CPS case was opened against him and I no longer feel comfortable there. My mom is a narcissist and pretty certifiably insane so my grandma is what I got right now.
The house has me, my aunt, grandma, and grandfather. I have to say, even though I’m not getting choked or called names here, it’s still fucking MISERABLE to deal with.
My grandmother, although very loving towards me, is the most neurotic person in the world and I have a hard time handling it. She’s not just annoying to me, she’s just annoying to people in general. She’s very neurotic as a person and easily worried and bothered. Almost everything becomes a lecture. I try my best to be the most patient about it, but she takes any request to be left alone as a personal slight against her. She’s very rigid in her thinking and has a thing with boundaries. If she doesn’t see me do something, it’s a lecture. Even if I did do it. If I don’t do something at the time she thinks I should do it EXACTLY THEN it’s a lecture. Like taking a shower. She weirdly times when she thinks I should take a shower.
Today I went job hunting at the mall and she lectured me because she didn’t like that my shoes were a little dirty. This is when I was already out of the house so I couldn’t really do anything about it. I told her, in the softest way I could muster, “grandma can you please just leave me alone.” And instantly she took it as a personal attack and started lecturing. I ended up yelling myself out of just... frustration. Some due to her, some due to everything that’s been happening in my life. Even at the mall she’d constantly nitpick why I wasn’t dressed like the other girls there or every 3 seconds she’d try and tell me to hurry up eating.
I love her. And I’m grateful I’m in a safe place now, but I can’t do this for too much longer. I don’t want her to know I hate living with her, but it’s just a lot to deal with every day. Especially with the other shit going on in my life. I feel guilty for feeling how I feel, but I absolutely can’t stand it. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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} | RIGHT |
ANqJElAt8HF2L5kHhCCL5iirpnMkZ48o | ahe721 | {
"description": "refusing to borrow money to my relative in need",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to borrow money to my relative in need? | I have a relative ( 30F) who I used to be close to. Until I noticed she only contacted or visited me when she needed something (most of the time money). She has lost about 5 jobs in the past 2 years and therefore her resident permit has been revoked.
There are steps you can take over here to get a proper permit but for some reason she doesn't want to take those steps, or is inconsistent in following the procedures to get through the process of getting a permit.
Her siblings have tried to help her get through the procedure, but she doesn't like their approach, their rules of living with them ( she is quite lazy and constantly on her phone during her stay there. She lacks the common sense to help with simple household chores for the sake of just helping out, while her siblings work full time, so after work they come back to a dirty house and empty fridge) . So they have kicked her out.
As of today she is with her third sibling where she will probably meet the same fate.
God knows I have tried to help her with everything possible to get through the procedure, and some basic information on how to keep a job, help with chores, behave when living rent free with someone else etc. I got sick and tired of it so I stopped having her over. (She behaves the same at my place).
Last week I called to check on her about 10 in the morning. She was still in bed. During the call she received another call and put me on hold. When she came back on she told me that it was a lady from the organisation that is supposed to help her with her permit, a job and in the meantime some money to feed etc. She had forgotten about the appointment and was not dressed so she decided to call the lady back whenever she was available! I was baffled!
After the call I received a message from her if I could borrow her about 100 dollars because her prepaid electricity and gas were finished and she had no more food left. The house was cold because it's winter and there utilities were cut off.
In the past 3 years I have borrowed her a total of about 3000 dollars and never received a penny back.
I forgot to mention that she bought the pastor of her mega church 2 smart tv's on a loan last year, each about 1500 dollars. She kept 'sowing seeds' in church because pastor said it will help her get a husband who will take care of her needs. When she decided to buy the tv's I advised against it because why would the pastor need someone else to do that for him while he has such a big congregation? She went ahead anyway. Pastor eventually refused to pay her back. I then advised her to get her tv's back and sell them to get at least some money to pay the loan back. She refused because it was the house of God.
Anyway. To cut things short; I refused to give her money. I said no.
Now I keep wondering if I did the wrong thing, because above all I had the money and according to her she was in the cold, and dark, without heater and food. I am just sick and tired of her getting into shit and then have others clean it up.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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GXbWMSd8uqU60KJQIVxhUnhgPJQ4zin2 | b3k8tb | {
"description": "univniting my mom to my birthday dinner",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for univniting my mom to my birthday dinner? | My birthday is coming up soon and we are currently in Las Vegas for spring break, home to some of the best steakhouses in the world. Because I really enjoy steak, I picked out a first restaraunt to eat at. However, when my mom found out I had picked a steak house with no alternative dishes, she got very angry, as she claims she cannot eat steak (she's not vegetarian, she just follows a strict diet). I then changed the venue to a much nicer and more expensive steakhouse at the Wynn, but with vegetarian options for her. I thought she would be happy, but she was extremrly mad again, this time complaining about the price. Now, this steakhouse os definitely very pricey, with an 8oz filet costing $70. However, we rarely go to these kind of restaraunts (last time we went to a resraraunt like this was last summer, and even then it was nearly 40% cheaper). Money is not a problem in our family either. Anyways though, I got sick of my mom rejecting restaraunts for my own birthday dinner so I basically told her that she can just stay home if she doesn't want to go. currently, my dad and I have a reservation for two. My mom has been yelling at me all afternoon for not accomodating her and being selfish. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1TG7Buj4hbbC1Pb14N47oby31sUZPNRo | b50r0c | {
"description": "ending a close relationship to get over a crush",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ending a close relationship to get over a crush? | Over the years I've gotten closer to my coworker as we both progressed through our careers. She is extremely smart and always willing to help whenever I was "stuck", so I built up a dependency on her as we progressed together. Late last year we began meeting on the weekends to play tennis as she was always looking for a partner to play with, and we'd go to lunch afterwards and just generally hang out; that is when I started developing feelings for her and wanting to see her more. I didn't want to complicate our close work relationship; but I couldn't control how I felt, either.
I decided to stop being so available since I wanted these feelings to go away, but she kept persisting asking if everything was okay. I finally decided that I needed to know where she stood but ultimately found out that the feelings were not reciprocated :(. In a sense I felt a lot of relief because it meant I could move away from this emotional attachment I had towards her, but I also wanted some real distance away in all aspects (ie. weekend meets, work emails/messages, text, etc.) to facilitate that removal. She wanted to continue the friendship and tried in the beginning to talk like nothing happened, but it was sometimes difficult for me since the feelings lingered, so I ultimately stopped responding in the supporting way that she was used to. That caused a snowball effect where she stopped responding as well and it has now deteriorated our once close friendship to now of just purely coworkers who talk only about work and only when necessary. We no longer just "check in" to see how the other is doing, and any conversation lacks the emotional depth and support it once had.
​
I still think she has a heart of gold and is an overall great person, but towards me she is cold and indifferent and I probably deserve that in someway for causing all this in the first place. I never told her I wanted the distance since she seemed really persistent in not talking about my feelings, so I just never got the chance to explain my perspective. AITA for abandoning a once great relationship to get over my own emotional attachment? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
diKgARlJMlYYS41vrz99B8g58oLDbJNS | 9xfc27 | {
"description": "not wanting to go camping with a friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go camping with a friend anymore? | Hi! Three months ago a friend asked me to go camping and I said yes. However many setbacks have occurred to my mental health and my OCD, anxiety and eating disorder are really bad right now. This causes me to have awful stomach aches and migraines as a physical manifestation of my disorders. It’s the day we are meant to leave and I feel so overwhelmed and don’t think I can go, it’s been causing me to have panic attacks and those symptoms I listed earlier. AITA for dropping out today?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
OxMZIihRYhn1WcsaqivsrSYNDTYQBFQa | aidnxg | {
"description": "being pissed of at a girl for getting her friend to tell me she's bailing on me for prom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed of at a girl for getting her friend to tell me she’s bailing on me for prom? | I had agreed with this girl that we would go to prom together at the beginning of the the school year. We had texted/ talked about it a bunch and I never got any indication that she didn’t want to go with me. All of the sudden, she got a boyfriend, and I didn’t think anything of it because I thought we were going as friends. I then get a text from her friend saying that she is going to prom with another one of her friends ( a girl) because she wants to be with her friends more, (she’s a junior I’m a senior). Now I’m out of a prom date and she won’t talk to me, and yeah, I’m pretty pissed off. I just want her to say it to my face. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nGfa7CWRwGulEmEpdBR1XalPTqM3YDOf | auer8k | {
"description": "telling my gf to stop smoking weed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA if I tell my gf to stop smoking weed? | We’ve been living together for three months now. She didn’t have a job when she moved in. I’ve been waiting for her to get a job and help out, but it’s really just her sitting around all day smoking my pot and watching tv.
I feel like a fucking parent. But my instinct is to hide the weed and tell her to get a job. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
nklQOZCT9zWVfQUetZ7fafaw6lBMUzyW | ahzaj2 | {
"description": "not telling my bf about an abortion I had now that we are breaking up",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA For not telling my BF about an abortion I had now that we are breaking up? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. When we met, his recent hook up body had faked a pregnancy and miscarriage after he tried to break things off. It was a bad situation, and he really tried to do the right thing and take her word for it. Indisputably, it came out that she was lying. Fast forward 3 months and he and I are dating and I discover I’m pregnant. He and I are really into each other and want to date but it’s still veeeery early in that process. I also believe my recent transition to a new pill was the culprit and feel responsible for the situation. I’m on a medication that would really fuck up a pregnancy so I’ve also been clear that I wouldn’t follow through with an accidental pregnancy. He and I also had that conversation, that we both would choose an abortion.
So I consider telling him but the lying ex still feels very fresh at that point. It just feels like a cosmic joke that I’m now pregnant. So I make an appointment for an abortion and tell him I’m just getting an iud put in (which I do) which explains why I’m tired and sore when I see him that week.
Ok fast forward 3 years and we are probably about to break up. It’s sad and hard but we had a good run and it’s just normal break up shit. But, I still have never told him about the abortion. It just always seemed like the wrong time, like I’d be fishing for sympathy. And now it would really feel that way since we are breaking up and I am probably the more broken up about it one.
I suspect I should be ruled an asshole for never telling something he had a right to know. But now I’m not sure if I’d be more of an asshole for bringing it up just before he goes off and starts a clean slate.
Tldr: I got an abortion very early in my long term relationship and didn’t tell my boyfriend. We are now likely parting ways, AITA for not telling him even now? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
vaiH5ZYuBoyRif0QjIe3kq4xZ6i99LjJ | ankung | {
"description": "not wanting to sing at my great-uncle's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to sing at my great-uncle's funeral? | He was recently diagnosed with cancer and only has a few months left to live. My grandmother is making funeral arrangements at a Catholic Church which I've been attending until recently (1-2 years). I don't feel comfortable singing at the church because I'm an athiest, and that churches have always scared the hell out of me. So tell me, reddit, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | NOBODY | {
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} | RIGHT |
wkZ4jp9ZCBvRbFWupPx24wMkcnHX8HFq | ba3tqv | {
"description": "taking my dad's side in an argument with a shop clerk",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for taking my dad's side in an argument with a shop clerk? | My dad isn't scared of confronting people and he comes from a different culture that often clashes with where he lives. He means no harm, he just comes off rude. I may be biased because my dad is well, my dad, so I want an outside perspective. I'm not asking if my dad's the asshole, I'm asking if I am for being on his side.
Today he got into a stupid argument with a woman working in a small boutique shop selling different products. He picked up some rye bread and tried to read how much rye was in it, but couldn't find the info. He asked the woman and she said she didn't know. He then got annoyed and said "that's cheating" about the bread (talking about how lots of breads are advertised as rye but it's just sugar and wheat). The cashier said "you can call the company and ask yourself"
At this point my dad started using a pretty confrontational/rude tone and told her she could call the company and ask. He didn't SAY anything rude, but his tone was. She got pissed and told him he shouldn't be so rude. Then she walked away and my dad said he just tried to ask a question.
I got pissed at her too because I don't think that's how you should treat a customer. I've worked in customer service and she should've either told him she unfortunately couldn't do it. Instead she accused my dad of being rude. That's so unprofessional that I started talking behind her back (she could probably still hear me) about how she could get fired for treating a customer like that. She didn't even have any other customers. I feel for her but also I wish she would've not insulted my dad.
AITA for taking his side and talking badly about her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
qoXL7sn0gTQ2YhbxSDJZJzdiwZU4almJ | a6072l | {
"description": "eating all the caramel corn out of the mixed popcorn tin",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for eating all the caramel corn out of the mixed popcorn tin? | There are three flavors: white cheddar, butter, and caramel corn. My girlfriend likes all three, but her favorite is the caramel corn. I only like the caramel corn. AITA for eating all the caramel corn and leaving her with the white cheddar and butter flavors? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 28
} | WRONG |
hROTltQYMyt5XKC5hREls4taOy6JzSxJ | 9zcoke | {
"description": "not going out with a friend because she wanted to bring her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going out with a friend because she wanted to bring her boyfriend? | To preface: I'm a guy, 17. My friend, X, is 18.
So I've been friends with this X for about three years, but we don't see very much of each other because she dropped out of high-school at the beginning of the year, about six months after she enrolled at my school. We've hung out a couple times, and once she brought one of her friends with. I was fine with this, and we all went to the theme park together. Now, X doesn't live at home anymore - teenage grievances with her mother, who I'm on good terms with. Her mother, takes buys these tickets for us, partly because she just wants to see her daughter more often, and because she wants to make sure she's got some friends like me - the kind my grandmother would call "the good sort."
So the theme park was fun and all, but her X's friend is kind of upset that I'm there, and she thinks I'm a bit of a downer since I didn't want to smoke. She kind of put a dampener on the night to be honest. All in all, however, it was fun and I talked to X about how she was going and all that, gave her some advice and went home, but I didn't really like her friend.
We decided to hang out tonight at Timezone, and we've got plans to get some food and just walk the city - it's Schoolies time here on the Gold Coast, with all the year 12 kids who've finished school drinking and partying, among other things.
She texts me, about half an hour ago, and asks if she could bring "J".
So I explain to her that when she brings her friends I kinda feel like a third wheel, you know? She says she understands and it's okay, because he's just gonna play some games.
I tell her I'm not sure, and ask who he is.
"Ahaha my boyfriend." ^(oh boy)
Now, I know what some of you are thinking - I admit that I \*do\* like her, but I don't really think she's the right girl for me. ^(That's all I've got to say about that.)
I tell her that I think I'm gonna give it a miss, but she says that he won't come then.
I tell her not to let me stop you, and to have fun.
I think that she's now under the impression that I want to be more serious with her, you know? I just think that it would be like before if she was bringing a friend, and it would be even worse if it was her boyfriend.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
vH0pcukjoScTP7WLSAu2brMwfAPg1TYR | a4k11n | {
"description": "arguing with someone about pointing an air compressor in their dog's face",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | aita for arguing with someone about pointing an air compressor in their dog's face ? | a post came up on my feed from r/whatswrongwithyourdog that had the op using an air compressor in their dog's face. it made me feel deeply concerned and angry that someone would think this was okay, so i commented several times expressing how wrong i felt this was. i'm really adamant about my opinion; but i'm not sure if i handled it well. insight is appreciated.
can link if needed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
3MOB9uXT4If0eBSQfJ3ulLzZqQRA6ieX | b0k95k | {
"description": "telling my bf that some things he says and/or does feels demeaning/degrading to me",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my bf that some things he says and/or does feels demeaning/degrading to me? | While there are a couple recent situations that are prompting me to come to this sub, they definitely come from a pattern of behaviors that my BF and I may be engaged in.
Also, be warned , these situations probably sound trivial af.
Situation/example 1: I have a couple projects that I am working on around the house. My bf made a passing observation to the effect of, “you’re working on your little project huh?” I told him that calling them my “little” projects felt a bit demeaning and tried to explain asking how if i asked him the same thing about his “little research paper” he may not appreciate it. He said that this was unfair because it is in fact a “small” project.
Situation/example 2: My boyfriend likes to throw his dirty boxers at me. He knows this grosses me out and i think thats why he continues to do it. Today i couldn’t find our car key and he was joking about how he hid them at the bottom of the dirty clothes bin. He got a big kick out of picturing me rooting around in the dirty clothes looking for them. I asked him why he gets such a big kick out of doing this to me and imagining such a scenario and let him know if felt degrading. He immediately turned quiet and then went on to say we each do things to each other that we dont like for fun and saying its degrading is harsh.
AITA for bringing these feelings up? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2eyNzOFxkSsqn3rBv6rZQgRLRvPExks6 | adlbkz | null | AITA: someone told me to watch their stuff, but I didn't... | I was on break from my college class (a 15 min. break) and I was sitting at a lunch table just messing around, and this woman asked me to watch her stuff (a laptop, some books, random stuff). Being the nice person I am, I said "no problem" as she ran off to the bathroom (I guess she was having gastric problems or some shit).
After about 10 minutes, I start getting edgy because she isn't coming back, and I didn't want to miss class. So I just left her stuff there.
Well, she finds me later, and it seems her laptop was stolen. She starts accusing me of being responsible for it since I was supposed to be watching her shit, and I wasn't.
I told her why I had to stop watching her stuff and she got even more upset.
AITA for leaving her stuff there (letting it get stolen) and going back to class? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
QgphmCSMauqZ4661zbDRp0w6gMZKgvQ4 | a7p98a | {
"description": "not being happy by being surprised with a non-running, junk yard car for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not being happy by being surprised with a non-running, junk yard car for Christmas? | Hello. So this just happened and I'm feeling very conflicted. I feel terrible, but at the same time justified, so I need an outside opinion.
I got a call from my boyfriend of three years this morning. He told me he had a surprise for me, that my Christmas gift came early! I was excited because I told him that I want a tattoo for Christmas, that was **all** I wanted and asked for - nothing else. I was thinking that he had set up an early tattoo appointment for me and was about to tell me the time and day. Instead, he told me that he bought me a car.
It came from a junk yard auction, he got it for only $800. He said it does not run, and he doesn't know the exact condition of it, nor does he know the history of it (whether it's been crashed before, mechanical history, ect.). Basically, he doesn't know anything about the car other than it's a 2000 Rio. He is good at fixing mechanical issues with cars - however he already has three other broken down vehicles that he's trying to fix at the moment. After telling me all about it, he asks "are you happy? Isn't this great?!"
However, I'm not happy. And it isn't great. Because the thing is, I don't even have a driver's license. I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE! I'm planning on getting my license in a couple months, but what use would a broken down car bring me? Other than taking up a spot in the driveway? I don't have the time, resources, or knowledge to fix a car. And neither does he! However, even if I **did** have a license - he told me that he wouldn't feel comfortable with me driving it! That he would drive it for me, to places I need to get to. So, not only does it not run, but if it did I wouldn't be allowed to drive it. Further, my parents are the ones who want to buy me my first car. That's a memory they and I want to share together. I feel like it's going to rob me of a milestone memory with my parents. So not only am I disappointed, but I feel my parents are going to too.
One last thing, is that I absolutely hate people buying things for me. My mind is wired weird, in that if someone (or even myself) buys something for me, I get **extreme** feelings of remorse and dread. I can't sleep at night because my mind is raging with thoughts of disappointment. That is also why I asked for a tattoo, since it's not a tangible thing and something I will actually cherish for life, I don't feel dread or remorse. But now I'm feeling**so** terrible, because I don't want to and (mentally) can't accept this gift of a car. I'm going to dread it and hate it, even though it's such a thoughtful gift. I'm not sure what I'll do. I told him I will accept it, but he said he is just going to go and ram his truck into it and he is going to stop trying to do anything nice for me ever again.
Oh, and a good thing to add. This isn't the first time he has done this. Ever single Christmas or birthday, he asks his parents for a couple hundred bucks to buy me a present. He then goes and buys a present that is intended for me, but in all reality, it's for him. Like my most recent birthday, he went and bought me a gun. Not only am I underage to own that particular type of gun, but I'm deathly afraid of guns and never want to be around one, hold one, or shoot one. He however is a gun fanatic! (It just turns out that my present was the exact gun he had been wanting too). He's also bought me a guitar, the one **he** wanted, even though I don't play and don't have a want to learn. Everything he has bought me just goes straight back to him. This is just another one of those things, I feel.
I know I probably hurt him by not being excited, but I cannot fathom why in the world he would buy me a car. I've told him numerous times that I do not want him to buy me a car (since he's tried this numerous times before). I want to buy one along with my parents. A car I actually like, and one I can trust too! I don't want some random beater car, that I would be scared to drive, and be disappointed in.
So, AITA for not being happy getting a junkyard, non-running car? Or is HTA for buying me a gift I told him numerous times not to get me, ignoring the gift I actually wanted, and expecting me to be excited and want it? | HISTORICAL | {
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gw90wDu5tgSEhEwR38tYAMgbUI4A9mwQ | ad6v1u | {
"description": "being offended at the use of \"faggot\"",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being offended at the use of “faggot”? | Just as the title says. I identify as queer and hearing people use “faggot” or “fag” (not in reference to a cigarette but rather to people and behavior) really makes me uncomfortable. I’ve brought this up, yet there are plenty of people defend the use of these words especially on Reddit. Am I overreacting? Or is this actually a slur/hate speech? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
R9HIxQO6lenSajkrNR5YMXpB2E4F5XFB | akjjzh | {
"description": "telling a girl that my straight friend was gay, so that she'd get with me instead",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA For telling a girl that my straight friend was gay, so that she'd get with me instead? | Hear me out, this is more nuanced than it sounds.
All of us are in the same college, but ive known this girl for much longer. Shes a 10/10, not even exaggerating she could be a model if she wanted, shes from brazil and is studying to be a teacher like me.
My friend is a cool guy, known him for years. But hes also a womanizer. He frequently "dates" girls just to dump them after a few months when hes bored. He is also a cheater, both on his girlfriends and with other guys girls. Hes had "conflict" with several boyfriends because of this and ive had to bail him out at least once.
So anyway im trying to get with this girl, we flirt everyday after class and eat lunch together, its going good. My friend sees us in the campus cafeteria and approaches us. He sees this girl and sits with us, and he starts doing his bullshit. I can already tell.
She and him laugh a bit but then he leaves after i give him the evil eye. After he leaves the girl asks how long we've been friends and I just instinctively say:
"We met a long time ago in highschool. He was bullied a lot by other kids for being gay and I stuck up for him. We've been friends ever since."
"Hes gay? Thats so sweet of you for helping him though. Youre a good friend."
"Ha, yeah hes a good guy. Its nothing, i just cant stand bullies."
So yeah im full of shit but we've now been on two dates. I told my friend that i told her he was gay and he was pissed. My reply is that you wouldve just done your thing and moved on. He says now he feels awkward around her. Hes not gonna tell her i lied (if he did my plan is to say hes still in the closet and that hes lying) because we're bros but he thinks im an asshole.
I figured, hey, at least i now have a relationship with her. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | WRONG |
lW9uICXi9WyxDlxzphf1O9k0LsYqzJcQ | b9h16k | {
"description": "calling my friend a racial slur",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 41
} | AITA for calling my friend a racial slur? | I fall under the autism spectrum (I can still fit in well with most people and talk relatively normally but I have some problems with small simple things) and my friends make fun of me for it. I know they’re joking but they do it constantly, pretty much every day and it does bother me. Anyways we got into a conversation about music. I like a lot of 70’s rock but my black friend likes a lot of rap. I let him talk about the music he likes and I listen to him talk and respectfully said some along the lines of “while I don’t like rap, I’m glad you enjoy.” Then he asks me what I like and I said 70’s rock. He then says in a moc-voice with an overly exaggerated lisp “oh I’m landon I’m autistic and special because I like old music.” Knowing he was joking I said “I’m [insert fake name] I’m a ni**a who likes to smoke weed while listening to rap.” He then got really offended by it and posted a sob-fest video in his Instagram saying I was a racist asshole. Sorry for the long rant | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 31,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 41
} | WRONG |
YPsvgmsFcDC9w01NGjxKmfoNxwZjVzsP | 9yeyt2 | {
"description": "raising legitimate concerns towards management and getting shifts cut as punishment",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for raising legitimate concerns towards management and getting shifts cut as punishment | I've worked at a bar for several years now. Recently, the staff there have started to notice the management were not pulling their weight. For each shift, there is only one duty manager, but we have multiple managers working each day. They all frequently disappear and give themselves easy roles during busy shifts.
After seeing this re-occurring over multiple shifts, I raised it with a manager during a shift. Explaining to them what had happened using examples from that shift. They then organised a meeting with the boss. I explained to him that even the new staff had reached the consensus that the managers weren't pulling their weight. He called me a liar, said that I had an attitude problem and that I was being negative.
The next day, the boss came up to me in front of another staff member and snarled "Good luck paying your rent with no shifts!" I am seriously thinking of finding a new job. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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} | RIGHT |
vCyjM7LjzUiehgkmHDztrrYKMy3aATY2 | aommei | {
"description": "requesting my gf to get a decent job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for requesting my gf to get a decent job | Hey guys, just got out of an unresolved fight with my girlfriend and wanted to know if I’m being unreasonable.
To sketch some context: we recently bought a house together, are both in pur early early thirties and are planning to have kids in the next year or two.
My income is I’d say upper middle class and hers is just middle class. We get around, save good money and all is well financially.
(Oh and I have a masters degree and she a bachelors)
Now the issue is that her job is incredibly boring, we’re talking stare at the wall for 8 hours a day boring and sometimes she has to answer a phonecall. She’s definitely showing signs of a boreout and has been repeatedly ordered to stay home by her doctor to combat the stress and anxiety.
Now obviously this is an unworkable situation and she’s got to find a better job. It probably won’t even be difficult to find a similar paying one.
However the last couple of months she’s been very interested in make-up, and she’s going to follow a course on this next week (no previous experience).
Now she’s got it into her head that being a beautician is the most magical job in the world and she feels like she won’t be happy doing anything else, despite it being equivalent to throwing away 12 years of hard work and her degree.
I can’t seem to reason with her that taking a giant paycut and massive loss of stability (beauticians are dime a dozen in these parts and are treated as highly expendable) isn’t exactly acceptable to me.
I’ve tried to give her friendly nudges in different directions but to no avail, she’s got this utopia in her head and that’s it.
TL;DR
Am I the asshole for standing in the way of what my gf wants to do even if it might highly compromise our financial stability. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
EltmMeKKJPUin0QaDYZ7Bb5OwlCE2KSp | 9v0mvl | {
"description": "purposefully getting my neighbor evicted because of their barking dog",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I purposefully got my neighbor evicted because of their barking dog? | So I've lived in my apartment for 9 months now. It's absolutely perfect except for one thing: my neighbor's barking dog.
My neighbor lives in the building next to me, but our buildings are connected and we share a wall on our kitchens, dining rooms (although I use mine as an office), bathrooms, and bedrooms. Their dog barks nonstop in their kitchen and dining room when they're not home, and as a consequence I have a hard time focusing on my homework when I get home from class. If I make the slighest noise in my kitchen, the dog goes off for hours after so I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home because of their dog.
I left a note for them for the first time a few months after I moved in. It was after 10pm and the dog just wouldn't stop barking which I felt was ridiculous. The note wasn't aggressive, I even suggested the dog might just be bored. I said I know it's hard to know what your dog does when you're not home so I cut them some slack, but I did remind them about the quiet enjoyment provision in our leases (and I'm in MD so this means landlords have the duty to control their tenants' noise).
After about a month, nothing had changed so I put in a complaint with the landlord and the barking stopped for about a week. Then it started back up again. I put up with this for a few more months, and I put in another complaint with the landlord because it was obvious they weren't taking any steps to solve the issue. Everyone got a letter from the landlord that said the next time they get a complaint about the dog, the person whose dog it is gets a 30 notice to evict. I found this odd since I told them specifically what apartment it was coming from so I don't know why every apartment got a letter.
The dog never stopped. I don't want to get these people evicted because of their dog, so I left another note for them. Non-threatening, basically the same as the first note. But I again told them I'm going to have to complain to the landlord if it doesn't stop.
The dog stopped for about a week again, but now it's back to the usual. I've put up with this for so long I don't know what else to do. I don't want them to get evicted, but they clearly don't care about the noise their dog makes.
So, WIBTA if I put in another complaint with my landlord possibly resulting in their eviction? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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8k7KZ9UW6CF3j45uOvuXAEzuJrqOHwNq | anw5hx | null | AITA For This? | The reason I didn't say the whole thing in the title is because it's long. Basically, my friend threw a rock in a creek, it almost hit my head, I threw a bottle of water at him (don't ask why I had a bottle), yet I didn't throw the actual bottle, but he did. After fighting (verbally), he told me he was trying to hit a fish and I said "Yeah, right." Then he said "Well, I was just having fun!"
The reason I posted this is because I knew he had anger issues, and I knew that, but I had forgot. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
7OBPGvsIHfGdlUJJd4gKObqM3DAoBQfE | a2nxej | {
"description": "remaining Friendly with my racist coworker",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Remaining Friendly With My Racist Coworker? | Now I'm not a particularly passive person, if I see something I think is wrong I tend to point it out. Stand up for what I think is right and all. Now when this young girl started working with us I wasn't sure where I stood with her. We have a small workforce, only about six people, so I work in a close environment with her most of the day. She can be moody and very rude and negative unless you catch her on a good day.
Now she's about nineteen and some of her behaviour I put down to her being very immature for her age. She seems to want people to see her as this badass, edgy, straight talking person who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. I suspect she cares. And I've learned after getting to know her better that her home life is not the best, I have reasons to believe there may be some level of abuse. She told her her mother once threw an ashtray at her and punched her hard enough her face bruised, then giggled about it. I told her it wasn't alright for anyone to lay hands on her and she started crying. So I hugged her and told her if she ever felt unsafe then she could call me and I'd open my spare room to her. Since this incident I've been trying to be understanding of her sour moods and have been paying closer attention to her good qualities. She's very funny for a start, though I like blunt and sometimes harsh humour - as does everyone else in the workplace. She can be kind, when she's not trying to act macho, and she's a hard worker too.
Well we were having a cheerful debate at work over something unrelated and this girl steps in saying we should debate other things. Then, in an act I can't help think is designed just to draw attention, flatly states that she's a racist and we should debate about that. We ask questions, obviously, and she comes away with things like "I hate Pakis. If there's a Paki on my bus I'll get off at the next stop and catch a different one." and "If one started working here I'd quit.". She also takes the time to clarify that by "Paki" (I'm sorry about the slur, I'm just quoting her) she didn't mean specifically anyone from Pakistan, but actually meant "anyone brown", namely Middle Eastern and Indian people. The first thing I said is that I think that's disgusting behaviour. She defends her opinion saying that when she was young her uncle said if she misbehaved he'd put her in a black hood and send her away to them. I argued that, though that's disturbing, it doesn't justify her words or actions.
But everyone else was quiet and my manager tried to diffuse the situation by sort of going along with her. Basically telling her 'yeah, we know you don't give a fuck. Your opinion's your opinion, it's whatever'. She tried a few times to encourage conversation about it, saying that she doesn't care if we think she's an asshole and that she's not going to lie about what she thinks. But after a while nobody said anything, it was awkward. And again, I'm not convinced that she doesn't care what people think and part of me wonders if this is some weird, pathetic trick she's got to try and seem edgy. Either to get attention, bad or good, or to push people away.
I can't exactly psychoanalyse her so I won't know exactly what's behind it. But it bothers me that work is just going on as normal and that everyone is joking around as normal. I've remained civil but I feel bad about laughing when she tells jokes. And the other day she was standing in the rain waiting for the place to open so I let her sit in my car with me until our boss arrived. I had to attend our works' Christmas night out and she danced with me on the floor. On one level I worry about her situation and have started getting along with her, but one part of me wants to completely disassociate from her and only speak regarding work. I already voiced my opinion, I'm not sure what else to do.
So am I being an asshole here? Could I be doing more? | HISTORICAL | {
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K2KjfSmuzul6928kNxvHbL14KmEwP4bn | a5aowq | {
"description": "I was eliminating in fantasy football playoffs in a dynasty league that is disbanding after this season due to low activity/interest. the guy in first place won't be coming over to the new league and has low waiver wire priority, so I dropped Rodgers, McCaffrey, and Barkley. I said nothing",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA I was eliminated in fantasy football playoffs in a dynasty league that is disbanding after this season due to low activity/interest. The guy in first place won’t be coming over to the new league and has low waiver wire priority, so I dropped Rodgers, McCaffrey, and Barkley. I said nothing. | Not super worried about being a dick to that guy on particular, I have nothing against him but I haven’t seen him in so long I don’t remember what he looks like. While those 3 have higher waiver priority it’s possible that teams not in the playoffs may be able to pick up some if those players. Since I’ve been eliminated my final standing doesn’t matter to me and I enjoy being an agent of chaos. Selfishly though our league trophy is a championship belt I’ve lusted after for years but no matter how close I’ve gotten nicer won. I don’t know what the plan is for the final champion but the few of us who have been active and shown we care are are forming a new league and I would personally prefer that someone who could theoretically “bring it over” win it. However it could be argued that I’m screwing with the fairness of competition. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
IKwk8AuxkyE8NmekltzdW2gYMO8PCTQL | b4q2w0 | {
"description": "being honest to my EX (when I was with her) and my GF (now) about her/our pet ownership",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being honest to my EX (when I was with her) and my GF (now) about her/our pet ownership. | A bit of important background information: I grew up in a house with several dogs. my parents tried to keep the house clean but they both worked jobs so unless they were cleaning up and walking the dogs when they could it didnt get done; because of that, the house was messy and sometimes smelly because the dogs were untrained and went #1 and #2 wherever they wanted while ripping up what ever they wanted. It really made me hate going home sometimes.
More important background information: my EX and my GF both share one experience in their upbringing, their moms (stay at home moms) took full care of the dogs and all the kids had to worry about the dogs was playing and loving them enough.
now the situations im wondering about:
with my EX:I had dated and lived with my ex a while back and one of the sore spots was the dogs we had. Before we moved in together I made a point to tell her that I would not live with any pet that didnt live in a cage i.e hamsters, fish, whatever; that means no dogs, no cats, no capybaras, none of that. she agreed to my condition to not have any and we moved in together. flash forward a year and she starts chaffing at the idea of not having a dog. she starts trying to convince me to consent to get a dog, it goes on for a year before we start having heated discussions over having a dog. i finally say "Fine get a dog but its all your responsibility, I will not help at all with its care and if it starts affecting our apartment then youll have to get rid of it" she agrees to this and a day later we have two terriers. She starts off great, taking them to vet appointments, walking them, cleaning up after them, playing with them, all that. Then grad school starts, her job starts giving her more responsibilities, and all of a sudden the dogs arent being taken care of. I mean poop in the kitchen, pee in the carpets, barking out of boredom and ripping up stuff. I point it out to her and she asks me for help. I just reply with i told you so and tell her its not what i consented to. This continues all the way to the end of our relationship with a fight over getting rid of the dogs thrown in.
with my GF: I gave the same pet conditions to my current GF as I did with my ex and she agreed. So far we have lived together 2 years and no hiccups. Then last year it repeats itself with my current GF, almost exactly the same situation as my ex. I finally get sick of "talking" about how its not fair she doesnt have a dog; I consent only if she takes full responsibility for the dog, and I dont have to deal with it; she fails to do so and asks for help; I tell her I told you so, and she gets angry about my not helping her.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Q3u1ITCRwKgr5Fm6GPDVXaQ3W74LUK30 | ajzfvp | {
"description": "being mad at my parents because they called me 20 times when my phone was on silent",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my parents because they called me 20 times when my phone was on silent | I'm currently out of town on a business trip. This afternoon I went to watch a movie and put my phone on silent. Checked my phone after the movie and there were 13 missed calls, 7 missed facetime requests, and 3 unread texts within a period of 1 hour and 20 minutes.
My parents wanted to chat about a trivial little thing, couldn't reach me through endless calls, so they called my boss too (family friend, so they have her number), and got in touch with another colleague, and the hotel I'm staying. Everyone started freaking out because U wasnht responding. ALL WITHIN 80 MINUTES of me not picking up, because I was in the movie theater and my phone was on silent. They're not upset at me per se, but they seem to be getting into a new habit of doing this all of a sudden, 2nd time this month.
AITA for being upset that my parents can't deal with me taking some offline time for 2 hours? Like is it normal for parents to do this?? I'm a 23yo female, if that is relevant to the level of concern my parents always have when it comes to my safety. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5oLftSd1P6fHfJUBeACwP9MWjxqtBX8Y | a0bqbv | {
"description": "uninviting my son and granddaughter to Thanksgiving dinner because he couldn't commit to arriving by a certain time",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 53
} | AITA for uninviting my son and granddaughter to Thanksgiving dinner because he couldn't commit to arriving by a certain time? | I have a 32 year old son and a 4 year old granddaughter. We live in the same town. He is a 10-15 minute drive away. Even though this is true I see my son maybe once a month (or even less sometimes) and my granddaughter on the same or lesser frequency. So obviously getting together on Thanksgiving was important to everyone. It's something we do every year almost without fail.
His mother also lives here and he spends a lot of time with her. My son is no longer "with" the mother of his daughter, but they share custody and spend quite a bit of time together as well. Her entire family lives in the area or surrounding area too.
For the week before Thanksgiving I had asked my son what his plans were for the holiday. He said he wanted to come over for dinner, but wasn't sure what time he'd be able to arrive. I told him we'd eat around 6:00 or 6:30. Whenever the Dallas Cowboy football game had ended. Other guests included my wife's son and daughter and two graduate students from the university I work at. Nobody else.
His plans for the day consisted of picking up his "baby mama" from work (she doesn't have a car) around 2:00 or 2:30, getting his daughter and her other children from her grandmother's house, going to his mother's house where they'd eat a meal, driving everyone back to the baby mama's grandmother's house after dinner, potentially stepping inside to eat some of her food, then maybe even driving the baby mama back to her own apartment. *Then* come to my house.
I sent him a text saying Happy Thanksgiving and to arrive before 6pm. He texted back "Not making any promises. Thanks for being flexible." followed by another text saying "Would you rather not see me at all?" and more words about how he had told me several times already his day was super packed. He said he'd try and be on time, but wasn't sure if he would or not.
After some deliberation I replied that my wife and I would like to see him and his daughter on another day. His reaction was to call me a prick and go on and on about how wrong it was for me to take back our invitation just because he couldn't commit to being there before 6pm. I told him I didn't want our dinner interrupted by him and his daughter walking in mid-meal. He was really upset and I haven't talked to him since.
Am I the asshole for doing this? Is he an asshole for not committing to being there by a certain time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 50,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 53
} | WRONG |
RjnzBIhzzowykSPWcDathxL4P5U8UixS | aub7mi | {
"description": "not inviting my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not inviting my friends? | I (26F) have 2 main groups of friends, a group that I've been friends with since high school (call group A) and a group of friends that I've known since I was 19 (call group B), and I have one best friend who is part of both groups with me. We do many things with both groups of friends, but it's always been seperate, simply because both groups don't really know each other that well, and wouldn't really mix with each other and a few girls out of each group don't really get along.
Quite a while ago, a girl out of Group B planned a night of drinking at hers, unfortunately my partner was out and I couldn't find anyone to look after my children that particular night so I had to decline. The day it was planned for came up and a girl out of group A messaged us all and asked if we wanted to meet up that night but same as above applied and I had to decline, another girl had suggested they could come to mine instead so I said you're more than welcome, so some of group A came to mine for a couple of hours for a mini catch up.
Somehow, the people from group B found out and they are not happy one bit that they didn't get an invite. It's not that I purposely missed them out, but it's how its always been that we always do things seperately with each group, and as far as I assumed they had plans anyway. Things was said, and I explained sometimes them lot do things and don't invite us but we're adults and that's what happens.
I feel like I've been sucked back into high school times, and feel like its 15 year old me and something daft.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
iwpL54v1mT034fUAai7FVfvJFedra39o | ager99 | {
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for kicking a dog that attacked us",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for kicking a dog that attacked us? | So last night my boyfriend and I went to dinner and then had a walk around the park. While on that walk a stray dog run up on us and my boyfriend kicked it. Yes the dog was aggressive and would have probably bit us. But he kicked it right in the head, at full force. It all happened so fast too. But the more I thought about it the more it pissed me off. Because I live dogs, and that kicked could have severely damaged that dogs brain.
So by the end of the night I was angry and my boyfriend sensed it. I told him off and told him he was a jerk for that. He could have pushed the dog away or just scared it off. He didn't have to kick it like a goddam soccer ball! I told him I wanted space and would order myself an uber. He walked away confused and upset. I texted him this morning but he hasn't responded. That's not like him at all. Did I go to far
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 28
} | WRONG |
ASjLx9cxFFZKlTdiLXB1jRoaB2MAS92j | b9joam | {
"description": "literally not caring about my sister having a baby",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for literally not caring about my sister having a baby? | So, I'll try to add the appropriate details without going too long, but long story short, my(26m) 19 year old sister is having a baby in June and I just don't give a shit.
I come from a semi-broken home. My parents split up before I was born and I spent every other weekend visiting my dad from the ages of 5-8, AKA until he went to prison where he still resides to this day.
When I was five my mom married(they got divorced ten years later) a guy who is the father of my sister(so, half sister). I spent my childhood visiting his family, but never felt accepted and always felt like the outcast.
All that to say that I never had a stable family environment and I think that led to me not having any real strong bond with family, including my sister.
I don't even care to be there immediately after she has the baby, or really be involved in anyway.
Do I have any obligation to care?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
AeiAVqnVCK5qjkMyRs3bi03lZgmDD1Gq | apxxlt | {
"description": "not paying my friend for breaking his wall",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I don't pay my friend for breaking his wall | Ok so for complete clarity my and my friend also neighbor live in a building for homeless youth that takes care of everything in the building. The way I broke his wall was because I fainted due to dehydration. I felt it and immediately got up to get a drink and then fainted. I put a huge dent in his wall. I apologized profusely and said I would tell our building manager that it was my fault, because he was worried about getting kicked out. (he has anger issues and had broken a lot of stuff already) He doesn't have to pay anything to fix anything because we all got a voucher for first months rent and security deposit and they take it out of the security. When I told him what happened I said if he had to pay anything I would pay for it. But he doesn't have to pay anything and he's trying to get me to give him 50$ but I said no. So I'm not sure AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ugEzZJzUqQ3OEtU2aYXfaQkjIANKokOR | b4tdui | {
"description": "washing my gf's kitchen towels with her bathtowels",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for washing my gf's kitchen towels with her bathtowels? | So my gf was out of the house for a few hours today and I decided to surprise her by tidying up and doing some laundry.
I almost a had enough bath towels for a full load but decided to throw in a few kitchen towels (used mainly to dry dishes after rinsing) to complete the load.
Now here's the thing, I know she washes her kitchen towels separately when she does laundry, and often will not have enough even for small load. To me this is inefficient and wasteful but she insists it is unhygenic to mix them with the other towels (even though I wash them on hot with plenty of detergent).
I know she can be a little ~~anal~~ ~~ocd~~ structured about these types of things, but I honestly didn't think it would be that big of deal. Boy was I wrong. Instead of being happy to come home to a clean house as I had expected, she was really upset with me bc I mixed the towels, saying that I know that's not how she does it, and how now she has to do them over again.
Unfortunately this is a common dynamic in our relationship, where instead of appreciating that I helped out with something, she gets upset that I didn't do it her way. As a result I feel unappreciated and she probably feels that I don't care enough to always do things to her exact specifications or preferences.
Edit: I'm not sure it makes a difference but I am diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD and I suspect she has at least some level of OCD as she tends to be a control freak. Other than when my impulsive behavior clashes with her need for structure, we get along fine.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
6tWULfS2BOBCnceeWz81qzN2JY3EQHIs | 9ungp9 | {
"description": "getting upset with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting upset with my GF? | So for the past week i've been dealing with depression and anxiety. I take medication for my anxiety but not my depression and i feel like the intervals between depression is too large to warrant me getting medication for it. -
Because of our work schedules (me working night shift at a factory and her working 8am-5pm at a gas station most of the time) we don't get to talk or see each other much other than on weekends. We sit in a call with me on my bluetooth ear peice all night but she's a sleep for all of it except to say goodnight. -
I've been feeling really lonely because of my depression and missing her as usual. So i asked her if we could have one night on the phone (Wednesday) to help me feel better. I'd get up early at 4:30 or 5pm and we be on video call to talk and just be with each other even if it's not in person. She said yes she would. -
Wednesday came around. We got on the phone. We were on the phone for maybe 30 minutes when she said she was going out to eat with her mother. (That plan was already set) and she said we would call me back when she got home. I said okay and have a good dinner. We said our goodbyes. -
At some point she asked her friend to meet her and her mother there. And her friend did. Then they decided to go out to a bar. Then got really drunk and decided to take a 2 hour one-way trip to go to a hookah bar. And then to another bar to drink some more. -
That upset me because she said we could have one night during just that week to help me feel better and she decided to go get drunk with her friend instead. I feel like it hurt even worse because i've been depressed. -
When I brought it up to her (over text that same night while she was in the car on her way to the hookah bar) right after the 4th time she kept telling me to go get meds or a therapist (which she knows that i've looking into my mental health and agrees on a normal, not drunk, day that i don't need them), she told me that she can't help me as much as i want her to (which one night on the phone was the one and only thing that i asked for her help with, that she agreed to do) -
When i just came out with it and made my point as clear as possible that she said she would do the one and only thing i asked for her help with and she decided to go out drinking and hookahing with her friend and how that hurt me. She asked me why i'm trying to make her feel bad and that she does care about me. -
That made me mad because i feel like she says that more than not when i state how i feel about anything that she does or says that hurts or upsets me. -
It was at this point that I gave up. She didn't (and still doesn't) think she did anything wrong. I didnt even get an apology. (I brought it up again friday but that's when she gave an apology, after I mentioned that she didn't even do that. That night i just derailed the convo with the small talk like how are you and stuff and just stopped texting her when i got to work.
Tell me.. AITA? Do i have any right to be upset/mad? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
teU5qwbPr0jqBG9KPfnH9oTlpmiuo1h7 | ba6i9y | {
"description": "being mad at my friend with benefits for having sex with another dude whilst we are on vacation",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being mad at my friend with benefits for having sex with another dude whilst we are on vacation? | Sorry English isn't my first language, I'm on mobile 😅
So I took some friends from school to my vacation house for a weekend, amongst those people was said friend with benefits
So she had told me that we were going to sleep together when we stayed there, so that evening I was on my room watching YouTube and she comes in asking for a condom, at this point I'm thinking "are we gonna get it on? " So I give it to her, she takes it and says "see you tomorrow", leaves and goes to have sex with another dude, so, Reddit, AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
4IojQ1V4PVTG4MoJYv0tD5I3EBDozSUX | ajyzjo | {
"description": "being pissed that my step daughter told us to keep it down in our bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed that my step daughter told us to keep it down in our bedroom | First off she moved back here. She didn’t have any place to go, so whatever. Did I want her here? Nope, but she is my step daughter so I will accept her since she’s in a time of need.
You know, one of the great things about the kids not being here is the sex, not going to lie. Just not having to worry about the kids hearing and etc. My step daughter is sleeping in a room adjacent to ours (she really doesn’t want to sleep in any other room, since it is her old room, ok I get that).
We acknowledged that we can’t be loud, but my wife still does make noise quite a bit.
Step daughter screamed to keep it down yesterday night, I got pretty pissed. I told her, maybe she should just go to a different room (there are multiple to choose from).
She’s refusing. That just pissed me off. She’s really outspoken, she says things that some people wouldn’t really say, and all that Jazz.
I just think she’s ruining the sex. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qtdrZMJGdaxpZLabgPPufwm2yQrZBe6j | ahcr4d | {
"description": "not letting a kid win",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not letting a kid win | For some background and context: I know this 9/10 year old kid who sometimes comes over. Usually we play games together, whether it be on the Wii U or his Switch. One game we play is Smash Bros on the Wii U which is a competitive game. Anyway, whenever we play together I always win because of course I'm better than him. But then he throws a tantrum and his mum and my mum demand I let him win. I don't want to because I play competitively, and don't feel like changing how I play for this kid. But they give me dirty looks whenever I do win. AITA for not letting him win? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
6mKcNsmSrSscZLSQD3ceSF9YuO5j65fD | awahe8 | null | AITA Boyfriend mad at me for not buying him a festival ticket when I bought one for myself | Context: My boyfriend and I are in our 30s, both middle class and make around the same salary (i somewhat more). I was working from home today and saw the new lineup for a summer music festival that costs around $200. I bought tickets for myself on layaway as I make decent wages but didnt feel super comfortable throwing down a lot of money at once when I haven't paid rent yet this month.
Boyfriend sees I have bought tickets in a house group chat we have for us and our roommates. He gets mad that I did not purchase him a ticket. His reasoning is that he "doesn't have the time" at work, and I "should know he wanted to go". To be fair I normally buy us tickets \[plane tickets, concert etc\] and he pays me back as I make slightly more than him and I am usually the one planning things to do. I am frustrated as I am beginning to feel taken advantage of as he does not do the same in return when it comes to planning. He just assumes I will take care of everything. Its not about the money as much as it is about the presumption he is making. If this was a $30 ticket I would have just bought him one outright....but not for $400 for both of us.....
Should I just buy him a ticket on layaway as well and call it a day or have him do it himself? AITA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
RocxR5TRk3xf2WIiRzS2EFpLMZCGsSIm | 9tqgy2 | {
"description": "not wanting to stay with a dying relative in the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to stay with a dying relative in the hospital? | A close relative is near to death due to a chronic and severe health issue (staying vague, because Reddit). I don't feel as though I'm mentally or emotionally strong enough to sit in the hospital room watching said relative slowly die. For context they are comatose, breathing very slow and shallow, and on multiple medications to manage pain.
I have other close relatives who have chosen to be in the hospital room on a near continuous basis over the last week, waiting for the end. They're sleeping 2-3 hours per night on crappy hospital furniture (think pull out couches, etc.). IMHO they're wearing themselves out, doing absolutely no good for the near-death relative, etc. Although they haven't said anything, I think I'm viewed as cruel and heartless because I choose to honor the person in a different way, and choose to not stay there all the time.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
JgTGal82YRQ61HhgNfZaDHMUVjWYICh2 | abvrih | {
"description": "wanting my cousins as my bridesmaids but not wanting their mother at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for wanting my cousins as my bridesmaids but not wanting their mother at my wedding. | So backstory first, my aunt has hated me since the day I was born. I don’t know why but it’s always been this way, she’s always hated my mom too. Again idk why she’s this way but she is. She always has some drama with a different family member and has kept my cousins away from all of us, growing up.
Every holiday or special day in our lives, have been basically celebrated separately because she causes huge fights between us all and she’s just a negative vibe in general. My cousins, sister and myself have left it to ourselves to become close now that we’re all adults and they don’t let their mother dictate their lives anymore (well as much). So we are very close and love each other very much and see each other as much as we can.
4 years ago I got into a serious relationship with the love of my life, my aunt hated him instantaneously just because she’s always hated me. He’s been the most amazing person and all my family loves him except for her. He proposed to me yesterday in Aruba (I know I know he’s just so romantical, I’m very lucky). Now of course naturally I tell my family, including my cousins and they all cry with me of joy. But the thing is that now that I’m going to get married, I refuse to let her come to my wedding and try to ruin it with her hatred and negativity but I really want my cousins to be my bridesmaids. AITA if I don’t invite her but have my cousins as my bridesmaids ? She might just even try to ruin it by stopping my cousins from being my bridesmaids and try to be evil even if I don’t invite her. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9sa5ce7LvskO10OEjkos8hZJjE5AgFZy | a45ujn | {
"description": "not wanting my sister to bring her black boyfriend to christmas as just a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 21
} | AITA for not wanting my sister to bring her black boyfriend to christmas as just a friend? | My sister has been dating this guy for about a year but has been keeping it a secret from our parents and grandparents because he's black and she's worried how they would feel. She wants to bring him over for christmas but introduce him as just a friend and she's been priming for this by bringing a white female friend for the past 4 holidays at the last minute. Our holiday's have always been just family and people's SO's. I told her that it was rude to keep bringing friends to these family events and that unless she brings him as her boyfriend, he shouldn't come. She said that if he was white, that I wouldn't have an issue with it and accused me of being racist. I have no problem with him being black, I just feel that it is inappropriate and rude to bring friends to these family holidays, especially Christmas. If she's really serious about this guy then she will have to tell them sometime. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 21
} | WRONG |
BWaFkbapw54AY8dswuKZbgQy0fgHpLzx | a6l30z | {
"description": "not wanting to be in one of my best friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not wanting to be in one of my best friend’s wedding? | TL;DR at the bottom.
A bit of backstory: My friend, I’ll call him Fred, would hang out with this girl, we’ll call her Wilma, in high school during junior and senior year. He’d spend way more time with this girl than with his guy friends, even though they weren’t even dating. She sibling-zoned him (essentially a friend zone but treating him like part of the family, “you’re like a brother to me” kind of thing) super hard but he wanted a relationship. He put up with being on the hook for a long time and would even regularly ask us for advice of what he should do. We all told him to end it and get over her because she was treating him like shit. Fred didn’t take our advice (a trend with him). Anyway, summer break of junior year happened. We come back after break and she has a boyfriend, even though she explicitly told Fred that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Still, Fred continued to hang out Wilma despite that and our advice.
When prom rolled around, Wilma took her boyfriend and Fred took Wilma’s little sister (kinda weird). My friends and I never saw him that night even though the rest of us were hanging out with each other and our dates. But he wasn’t part of our group. For our senior trip, Fred was always with Wilma and, again, never hung out with us. A whole week-long trip and we never really saw or hung out with him. That was the norm anytime they could be together, but he eventually stopped talking to her and they went to different colleges. Cool beans.
Fast forward 4 years and they start talking again. This was \~8 months ago. I think she contacted him and they hit it off. She was finally ready for a relationship and he hadn’t ever really gotten over her, I don’t think. So they start dating right before college graduation and that’s great. Good for them. But over the last 7-8 months that they’ve been dating, my other close friend and I have only seen Fred like 8 times (all of us live no more than 15 minutes apart from each other), and most of those times are for scheduled events, like weddings or parties that mutual friends have thrown. Even though we try to do stuff with him (he always declines), he never makes an effort to hang out with us. Or if he does, he never follows through with his own plans. We’re kind of pissed off now, because one of our best friends for the past 7 years is hardly a friend anymore, and we’re pretty sure it’s indirectly Wilma's fault. Wilma is cool with us, so I don't think she's actively discouraging him from hanging out with us, but she's the main reason he's not.
Anyway, he’s popping the question tomorrow and I’m assuming she’s going to say yes. He’s asked me twice now if I want to be in his wedding, and I’ve just said, “Uhh, maybe. I haven’t made up my mind yet.” He’s fully aware that we’re not the biggest fans of Wilma and that we think that them dating for 8 months isn’t enough. He’s still proposing. My friend and I have had siblings do very similar things that ended up in separations/divorces so we're worried about him, but Fred doesn’t like taking our advice or even entertaining it.
Sorry for such a long post, but AITA for not really wanting to be in my friend’s wedding given all that?
TL;DR Best friend got friendzoned by a girl in highschool. 4 years later they start dating. My friends and I never see best friend and we don’t really care for the girl. After 8 months of dating, he’s proposing and has already asked me twice if I’ll be a groomsman. I’ve said “idk, maybe,” hinting to him that I don’t really want to be in his wedding. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
NaBCKq0MuGPLDGN9yuLHTCSYksemloxE | azzupq | {
"description": "ending a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I ended a friendship? | For context I have two friends (who we will call Steph and Lola) who recently started hanging out more. Now Steph is very self centered and attention seeking. One of Lola's friends has compared her to a leech or a parasite. Steph picks very specific people,to be her friends. If you are friendly but a pushover she makes friends with you. Now Lola is going to a different school then her good friends next year so Steph stepped in. Steph has been very inconsiderate of Lola's feelings. Steph will get packed a full lunch and Lola will pay for hers, Steph will throw all of hers away(or hand it off) and eat ALL of Lola's food instead. Lola has a few different anxities which make it hard for her to make friends. I dont want Lola stuck in a bad friendship with Steph like I personally did. Me and Steph have had MANY problems before this (I have posted about one before) and this is it. Lola,seems unbothered though and just does whatever Steph asks. I feel stupid asking but I wanted to so I was sure before I did it.
TL;DR- I want to end a bad friendship a girl is stuck in. Someone is taking advantage of her anxiety but she seems to be unbothered. Would I Be The Asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
A0KcgaJIGLTZZQZhoqa9bWwtEtFTiU2l | b5v15t | {
"description": "claiming my computer",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for claiming my computer | This is a small one, but basically i bought a computer, it is mostly owned by me but my parents helped out a little bit in paying for it. My brother often has a friend over and has had this same friend over 2 times in the past 2 weeks, every time he comes in and asks to use my computer, i said yes for both of those as he is partially my friend and don't see the harm in it, but he is having this friend over again and simply expects that every time he is over he gets access to my computer, which i do not believe should be what is happening. My brother does bring up points such as in the past he has been told to help me with homework and he had to do it, but in that situation i had no control over it as my parents just decided that he had to help me. So should i be expected to give up my computer? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
C2ng5gS7BhaNZs57cmXjFeuqsDqA7Hj1 | ami3o0 | {
"description": "telling my friends that I think my gf is going to leave me for a guy, shes incredibly defensive about",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my friends that I think my gf is going to leave me for a guy, shes incredibly defensive about? | I was talking to a couple of my friends about my relationship, and her and I aren't doing well right now, and that's shes talking to a guy and tells me how it reminds her of our early conversations, because now we usually go to bed annoyed with what one another said, but anyway, I mentioned that she might leave me for this guy, and my friends make a couple jokes about how much of a downgrade it would be and that I have nothing to worry about. I tell my gf about this conversation and she instantly blows up on me, and hasn't talked to me since, and blocked me on a couple social media sites. am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
bQS36iy2JeyqBliInoazQ58cwBotnWPY | a9unbs | {
"description": "spending $600 to get away from my dad a week early",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for spending $600 to get away from my (19f) dad (55m) a week early? | This will be a bit lengthy. Tl;dr at the end.
My dad is kind of a jerk. He never really treated me or my siblings well, especially after my parents divorced. He constantly would blame all of his problems on us, hit us, tell us we were nothing, etc. for years. He's since calmed down and has only hit me once in the past few years. What helps is that he has an amazing wife and a nice house.
My mom lives in Illinois and he lives in Texas. Every year we drive down to visit for a few weeks and hang out. Now I've never been a huge fan of Christmas, ever since I was young. It just has so much pressure on it to be magical and wonderful when it never has been in the past. I've told my dad that I'm not big on Christmas in the past and he's dismissed me as being "too cynical".
This year was no different. I enjoyed my presents but I wasn't giving everyone a hug everytime I opened one like my little brother was. One of the presents I got is a sweatshirt with someone on it that conflicts with my political views (I won't say who it is or why I dislike them, to avoid any political arguments). I tried to smile and thank him, but I think the smile came off as rather fake.
He asked me about it later and I admitted that I didn't like said politician all that much, but I did like every other gift he got me. He got very upset about it and tried to argue that I believe exactly what he does, which I disagreed with. We moved on.
Today, I thought I might try to show him what I believe in politically, since he tends to be interested in that sort of thing. He, however, took it as a personal attack (I promise, I was as nice as possible when I brought it up) and screamed at me that he already knows everything about said political views. I disagreed and tried to give him a source, but he insisted that he knew more than any "stupid source I dug up". He then started rehashing old arguments that we've gotten into and said that because I'm so much younger than him, he knows more than I do about everything. I "don't know anything about anything", according to him.
As someone who does research in the areas we were talking about, I was hurt. My research is supposed to be published in a scientific journal within the next two years, so saying I don't know anything really hurt.
I talked to my mom and fiance for a while and put some thought into it. I have clinical depression so my dad yelling at me and calling me worthless made me feel very worthless and unloved. I felt like killing myself, which is something I haven't thought about in a while.
I found a plane ticket online for $600 and plan on leaving Saturday, only one week before I was originally supposed to leave. He is very mad and screamed at me for that.
AITA for wanting to leave early? I feel bad, but I am honestly worried that I may injure myself if I stay longer. I am very depressed right now and would like to be with my mom, who makes a clear effort to value and respect me.
TL;DR: my dad and I got into a huge argument and he called me stupid and worthless. I want to leave his house a week early, which makes him furious. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
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