id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
xObReZxWlgWgMOhY5x6AtizgKbY7kMxa | awo6zj | {
"description": "smoking weed and not telling my so",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for smoking weed and not telling my SO | We have been dating for 4 years and we both started being against weed. We are college students. My views have changed and I really wanted to try it. I've had issues with alcohol so I feel like this would be a good alternative. I have talked to her about this before and she is still against it. I told her I was going to try an edible and I did. We fought about it for awhile, but eventually got over it. We worked through it and we have been fine. She doesn't really like when her friends smoke weed, but she doesn't really care at the end of it (as she's not going to tell her friends what to do). I've told her that I wanted to try it and she said she doesn't want me to. So I eventually smoked over winter break and didn't tell her. If she found out I know she would break up with me. AITA for smoking weed and not telling my SO? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
zXIYavHaR4FvNKBQxH2oA18mP4ZUXteW | a70ab1 | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my gf before the holidays",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | Aita (30m) for wanting to break up with my gf (27f) before the holidays? | Some background.. We've been dating for a few months and honestly I don't think it's working out. When we met, she was in the process of moving out of her apt and moving back into her parents house because she lost her job. I just happen to be moving into a new apt. I told her she can stay at my place when she needs to in order to help her out. So, essentially we moved in together after just a few weeks. Things were good.
I work 60 hour work weeks and she doesn't. Most of time I'm at work, she's at my place. She has little babysitting jobs n what nots but I'm starting to get to the point of where I feel like I'm putting in the majority of the work, both financially and relationship wise. Most days I come home and she's just there. Hanging out.
I have some time off work coming up during the holidays and I want to travel somewhere warm but I realize I'd be the one that has to pay for us both. I make okay money so that's not necessarily the issue. I just feel like I'm contributing a lot while my return on investment is subpar.
She's been introducing me to her whole family and slew of friends, and they all love me. She tells me all the time how "weird" I am when I do goofy stuff and I've told her repeatedly that being called that bothers me but yet it happens again. She tells me she means it in a cute way.
I feel like it's almost a drag to come home after work knowing she'll be there. We have all these plans with her family for the holidays and I'm not sure how to handle this situation during this festive time. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3wGiJMHD0lkkUeOru0XlPnwfexfojHWm | awyew3 | {
"description": "telling a teacher that I was worried about my friend's mental health",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a teacher that I was worried about my friend’s mental health? | My friend frequently talks about being depressed and limiting her calorie intake drastically in order to lose weight. I also have depression and often joke about it, but mine is much less severe than hers. She started off with making jokes about being depressed and but it quickly escalated into long rants about how much she hates herself and how she lives off of about fifty calories and still feels obese.
Finally, on a day where she constantly showed us eating disorder memes and making depression jokes, a couple of her other friends convinced me to tell a teacher with them. We were all worried about her, and the teacher agreed that she showed signs that were concerning to her as well. The teacher told the guidance counselor, who in turn told the friend’s parents.
The friend immediately texted me and began to accuse me of trying to ruin her life. She said that I had lied to the teacher and was going about trying to help her in the wrong way. I responded that no, I hadn’t been lying and that it was the only way I knew how to help since I’m a young teenager and not a therapist. She says that she was only making those kinds of jokes because I did and she was just trying to fit in with me, but I have never once joked about having an eating disorder and the way she talks about these topics don’t feel like jokes. I eventually decided to stop arguing with her because she was most likely just deflecting her anger onto me.
Anyways, flash forward several months to now and she still constantly brings it up, saying that she has to watch her every word so she doesn’t get reported again and that she can no longer trust any of her friends. She doesn’t target any of the other friends who told the teacher and seems to focus only on me. I’ve said countless times that we did it because we were concerned and not to hurt her but she doesn’t listen and assumes that we did it to ruin her life.
I don’t feel like I can tell her that she’s making me feel uncomfortable because she would take it as a personal attack against her, I can’t tell the teacher that I’m concerned again because I don’t want a repeat of last time, and I can’t distance myself from her without worrying that she’ll relapse into “everyone hates me” territory.
I know that her mental health is bad and probably affects the way she’s acting towards me, but I still feel hurt every time she says that she doesn’t trust me or thinks that I hate her. Am I being an asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LW0hH9M2ZbA34J3I0J4khEMGey0oxrSg | 9xrwu1 | {
"description": "being a dick to little kids",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For being a dick to little kids? | So this starts back when I was a little kid, maybe 6-9 or more or less, I can’t really remember. But this has been on my mind this morning for some reason.
Anyways, we had these family friends that had two kids, one was a year younger than me and the other was 6 months or so younger than me. Anyways these kids were absolutely ruthless in every way, it was really weird how quickly they would transform into these destruction machines. They would come over to my house, throw my shit on the floor even while I was trying to stop them, their parents wouldn’t believe me for some reason, they had thought I did it in defiance or whatever.
They would destroy these boxes I would keep from my nerf guns, I didn’t really care but they held sentimental value to me, even as a child. I’ve always been one for nostalgia. They would bang on the door whenever I would go to the toilet, and they would just slobber everywhere and sneeze on everything, it was a hassle.
Sometimes I would have to go to their place, sometimes it was pretty fun, we would play games and whatnot. But sometimes it would not be fun at all, one time at a birthday party one of them got their friends to chase me down with screw drivers and stuff, I honestly thought I was going to die even though they probably wouldn’t of stuck me with them. I was just a kid after all. He got me on the ground and waved it in my eye, was very scared.
Anyways enough of their shenanigans, apart from that they were pretty fine, their parents were great people apart from refusing to believe they fucked my room up lol, and I had some fun with them back in the day. Our parents don’t talk anymore and I think it’s because of a few reasons, one of the kids has now grown up to be a douchebag and the other I have no idea, but he would always get in trouble at school for fighting the other kids, I wasn’t there, that’s just what I heard.
So I guess all of this got to me, subconsciously or consciously, my mum was on the phone with the parents and she asked if they wanted to come over, as a small child I was retarded and basically was like “NOOOOO” in the background, I dunno if the other line heard me but who knows, whenever they would come over I would just play the Xbox and they’d sit and watch so they would be quiet, I guess I would act unenthusiastic or not pumped for them to be there, we got in to our fair share of fights, especially when one of them broke my human anatomy skull that had taken me ages to put together with my father, he broke it infront of my face because I told him not to. So we fought because of that and cried and etc etc.
Another time was when the other kid broke my robot cat that my mum gave me. Everything my parents gave me was sacred. They also had this cousin that would come over when I came over to their house, and he would try and one up me and basically bully me, I fucking hated Sam, what a cunt.
But yeah I guess I’d retaliate, you could say kids are kids but should I have been more patient with them? Even though I was just kinda learning? I’m feeling a little bad about it, regardless of the craziness of the kids.
Am I the child asshole?
TL;DR
Two kids terrorised child me and we got into physical and yelling fights and I would really not want them to come over.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FGAD8WkDd1xO1yEQTclmvS2HiKZHZrYh | b7409z | {
"description": "inviting the older of my younger sisters to a convention I worked, but not the younger",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for inviting the older of my younger sisters to a convention I worked, but not the younger? | I have several younger sisters. The ones involved here are 17 and 14, respectively.
I worked a gaming convention the other weekend. My university's esports organization was invited to host an Overwatch tournament at the convention, and I had offered my help in setting up for the tournament. Day one of convention comes, and I realize it's the last few days of younger sister's (17 year old btw) spring break (mine was the week following) and I thought she might enjoy coming. She's very into fighting games and the like, and there were tourneys and open matches happening, so I thought she would like to come. I called her and she was ecstatic. She went both days.
The issue herein is that my other younger sister, who is 14, heard, and became jealous. She went to my dad, who texted me and said that I was being mean for not inviting her to come. 14 year old sister has some issues with crowds (her and I have autism and can't handle large crowds) and she really isn't interested in gaming whatsoever. She wouldn't have had fun at the convention. 14 year old sister also does not have a cell phone. If she were to have come she would have to have stayed with me the whole time (as per my parent's rules) which would have made the experience more unfun for her. Older of the two has no issues with crowds and can handle herself much better than the younger can.
TLDR, invited older of younger sisters to a con, younger was jealous she couldn't come despite it not being something she would enjoy, and I would not have been able to keep a good eye on her.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XUeJ8JtKzrySuciYizjSEQbht2wsueSj | ao9pke | {
"description": "bringing up my mom's bad driving skills",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for bringing up my mom's bad driving skills? | Little bit of context, sorry for the length:
I'm fresh out of school and working in a big city I have to commute to. I currently live with my mom (can't afford housing/need to pay off student loans), who I have never gotten along with from childhood to now. I pay rent, help around the house, etc. Part of my commute is a drive to the transit station where I take the train. Since my mom goes to the same transit station in the morning, I ride with her.
Now my mom is, by her own admission, a bad driver in darker conditions. She is also getting up there in age, but still has to work. She has, repeatedly, worried me with her driving. She doesn't signal or look when changing lanes. She doesn't put her headlights on. She makes wide turns that bump into the curb. She has, on multiple occasions, bumped into snow or other cars while parking.
I started out asking her to drive safer, and the reasons why I was concerned. Every time I brought it up, she yells and screams, essentially telling me to shut the fuck up. This fits into a pattern of her yelling and getting angry for minor things (like not covering microwaved Jamaican patties, a recent example). I've stopped pointing them out because I don't want to be yelled at, and I've started taking the bus. I can't drive the car for her because of insurance costs.
So Reddit, AITA for pointing her bad driving habits out?
She makes me feel like a terrible human being, and I need some perspective | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mnWTAg4sHT7C3ifw1i9X0L0r4biaEsu1 | ajyxro | {
"description": "being a bit of a creep",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being a bit of a creep | r/AskWomen
Would anyone consider this creepy?
u/TheEpicThrowaway865
So around a year ago I asked a girl out, let's call her Max. I was rejected, which sucked but I reacted in a respectful manner and moved on pretty quickly. It was the final day of the school year, so a long time to just forget eachother. Months pass and I find out she has a new boyfriend through her insta. The guy is pretty cool and they seem like a good couple. A few months after that, I'm at the local bowling alley waiting for my dad to finish his last few games. It's getting a bit boring so I walk around the central bar area of the place listening to some of my music. Around my 3rd or 4th time around I think I see someone familiar looking but keep walking. I keep wondering who it was so I look again when I come back to that area and It looks a lot like Max and her boyfriend. Keep in mind I am always walking and don't ever stop directly at this point. I'm a bit scared that she thinks I keep walking over to see her and that I'm trying to be intimidating or something. I sit down and stop walking around to avoid making the situation worse . Later, as my dad and I walk out to leave, he sees a few of his friends and starts to talk with them, leaving me standing alone in the center of the bar area. I think I looked at the silhouette of the girl and I saw her pause and turn around to talk to the guy and her group. It's too dark and I can't actually see if its really them or what exactly is occurring. I try to act as casual as I can and look at my phone and the TV screen in the bar but I don't actually move from where I am. After I left I'm thinking about everything that happened and I'm kinda scared that it actually was Max and now she thinks I'm a total creep/I'm still into her. Is this something that would be seen as a big deal? Do you guys think she would spread this around provided it's her? I'm also worried about my school reputation. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qL8zg85UmV0AEN6FVIxP25jo3xjhx6SH | 9v6l6i | {
"description": "making racist asian jokes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 30
} | AITA for making racist Asian jokes? | I'm just gonna get straight into this, no need to give a huge intro. I'm a (white) high school freshman with two Asian friends. We'll call one of them #, and the other one %. # is someone who often makes Asian jokes about himself. Jokes about "Asian Eyes", about how he eats dogs and cats, shit like that. Harmless stuff. On Halloween, he dressed up as a chef and was pretending to serve his cat to his neighbors. %, on the other hand, doesn't make jokes like that at all. So I'd been talking with # earlier in the day, and he made this hilarious joke. % was in a class with me, and I just thought of the joke that # told earlier. I said the joke to him (I'm omitting the joke on purpose, just in case anyone does find it offensive). He just kind of looks at me, then says "What the fuck, dude?" and turns away. % is actually the nicest kid I know, and I actually hadn't heard him swear ever before. Ever since then, he hasn't talked to me much at all, and every time he has, he's just been very cold to me. I know that % has heard # tell Asian jokes before, and they're friends with each other. % has no problem with it.
All the information has been layed out. AITA for telling a racist joke to someone who may find it offensive? Saying it like that makes me feel like an asshole, but the circumstances which surrounded it make me unsure. I really don't want to lose the friendship of %, so I need your verdicts so that I know how to act accordingly to save this friendship. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 30,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 30
} | WRONG |
XBI7o4srudba5XtdkgXMSyk0252zIk7d | b19ees | {
"description": "asking my brother for 50/50 pay when we babysit",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I (f15) asked my brother (18) for 50/50 pay when we babysit? | We babysit for 3 of our cousins about twice a month. For the past year, we’ve split the pay 50/50. However, now he wants to split 60/40.
We babysit two boys and one girl. Normally, we are all together watching a movie or playing a game. Sometimes my brother watches the boys, while I watch the girl. I also usually put the younger kids up to bed first, which can take an hour.
My brother’s reasoning is that he has to watch one more kid than me, and he has to drive me to their house (takes about 30 minutes). The thing that confuses me is I help watching all the kids, and our parents pay for his gas.
So WIBTA for asking him to split the money equally? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2Vsb2hiSGVLshVIorcvNLBzp2gaeCcov | 9xto3m | {
"description": "not contacting my uncle after my baby was born",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not contacting my uncle after my baby was born? | Right now my uncle is mad at me because I didn’t send him a personal message and invitation to meet my baby. He says he texted me right after the birth (I had complications and was in the hospital for an extra terrifying two weeks) and he shouldn’t have to text me twice. He has had no contact with me or my daughter for two years now “to teach me a lesson.” AITA??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fynMpOf3aEzxrLuHWFidjMHh84hgP4Se | b1yhsl | {
"description": "feeling genuinely no love for my mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling genuinely no love for my mother | I am currently 15 and have realised i hate my mother
​
Ever since i was a little kid my mother would berate me for anything. You never get any homework? youre lying! You are watching tv shows? Youre gay (i actually am so this hurt) Your handwriting is bad becuase you have dyslexia that i refuse do get diagnosed? i will rip the page out anf make you do it again! I do have dyslexia, it is all but diagnosed becuase my mother doesnt want to admit it. I have an older half brother that didnt do well on his exams, so she projects onto me, and she had to redo some of her gcses, so she projects onto me. She constantly asks if i want to be like my cousin who only did her english and maths exams as she has severe anxiety and depression. She says i will be forced to go to to school A, when i really want to go to school B as school A doesnt have any of the subjects i want. Legally i get to chose, not according to her. Whenever she shouts at me i cry beccause she had an emotionally abusive ex who shouted at me ages 7-12. I feel rediculous for crying whenever i hear cry shouting.
​
After i move out i will cut all contact. Am i in the wrong for despising her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
V2EwzkQMulsZWCsduoYbwpYrHH6IVtX8 | ax699f | {
"description": "not telling my parents I'm eloping in about 6 months",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For not telling my parents I’m eloping in about 6 months? | My boyfriend is in the Army and we decided we’re going to go about the non-traditional way of life and we’re going to get married since we both know that’s what we want and we can be together without worry if we were already married. There’s a lot of detail and such, this post would be too long if I got into it, so to the point. My parents have already freaked out about me moving states away, and my mom has even made a comment to my older sister and I about keeping important things like marriage not necessary a secret from her but really keeping her out of the loop about it and she would be really hurt if we planned it without her knowing. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been thinking about eloping and then later in a few years after we’ve saved up money to have the actual ceremony. I’ve told him we can just call the in between the “engagement” but honestly if anyone asks I’ll say I’m married because I love him and in no way am I going to keep this a secret. I honestly have no idea how to go about this with my family though. I know he’s the one for me, and he feels the same way 100% about me, there’s no doubt or fear for either of us about our relationship, we’ve talked about this for several months and this is what we both want. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
CtcjGnEhNP5BY4tQogzVIHLIY66jLc3v | b2ruam | {
"description": "not wanting my friend to date a bad kid",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA? Not Wanting My Friend to Date a Bad Kid | AITA?
So my friend, lets call her L , likes this guy, lets call him C. So C is kinda a bad kid. He got expelled for beating a kid up because he was called a N word, and he touched one of my other friends and called her a lot of nasty things to the point she has nightmares almost every night about it.
L on the other hand is really innocent and doesn't want to do anything (takeout, sex, etc.) L is really nervous around him. She literally freezes up or runs away when she sees him.
They both like each other a lot, (I know because he's told her) but I'm really worried for her. . I don't want her to date him and get hurt, used, or taken advantage of.. AITA for trying to protect her? Or should I let her go and date him? I haven't done anything yet, but if I should do something tell me what. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
PzQ1EboPRiyYHncPBw5DZMPfSbDUpzDb | a9k2a8 | {
"description": "thinking my sisters candle stick holders look like anal beads",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for thinking my sisters candle stick holders look like anal beads? | [her candle stick holders](https://www.simonpearce.com/hartland-candlestick-l?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8u74rqW83wIVjJ-zCh3-ngPBEAQYFCABEgLfc_D_BwE)
Cuz my mom says she’s not talking to me anymore because of this. Also, several of her decorations look like oversized anal toys... my GF dogs at for her and sent photos all day of things that would qualify... even my mothers husband says that they do. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
YUOCEKoYGZ2uIQNsV10o3O9S8gRAm6iC | a2sy14 | {
"description": "getting mad at my so for getting mad at my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For getting mad at my SO for getting mad at my parents? | So, some background first, two semester ago I was having a really hard time in college and I dropped out to take a vacation (my first one ever). While in school I was working full time in a photography studio (what I was going to school to learn about). I just felt like I wasn't learning anything and I just had to get out a little. A while later I'm back home, I work for about a semester to save up a little money since I didn't want to work too much, because I think that's why I didn't do so well.
Now I just got laid off from my seasonal job, and I planned to start school next month and be a full time student and just work weekend... But my parents won't let me because they would have to struggle a bit with money since they've gotten used to me paying $400 for rent and my paying for all my other expenses...even though it annoys me a little, I can understand why they are annoyed and won't really let me go back to college easier...
But my SO does nothing but argue, yell, and degrades my parents to me constantly because he's mad about how they are acting.... And it's getting old... He doesn't support me financially either so how I see it, he has no right to comment....and now we're arguing a little. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
sgX1XnvY8wdDQVEmZ96FWgH8ARq2Ih5J | admbcz | {
"description": "asking others not to post my photos on fb",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking others not to post my photos on fb? | Hi! So this has been an issue for a while now. I'd take a random photo around town and send it to a closr family member, only to find she has almost immediately posted it to her fb.
Initially, I simply said 'hey, didn't think you'd upload it but oh well' and left it there. No direct response to that from her. I forget about it until it happens again, this time with pictures from my holiday. I have my own fb and did not upload the pictures I sent her, but hey, I guess she got excited.
Yesterday, it happened again, because of course she would. She even texts me to inform me she has submitted it to one of her fb groups. I get annoyed at this point, telling her I sent it to her in private and she could've at least asked. She says 'well, it's no big deal, it's not like anyone can see it.' Right. I've shown her before how many of her details can be seen publically, but that's not even the point. She did not take the pictures to begin with, and I really only wanted to share them with her. I say 'well, I don't like you uploading them without asking, and they're not exactly private on fb.' I don't want to get into a fight over this. Not that I could, because I'm now getting the silent treatment. I'm apprehensive about sending her other photos now, which is a shame, because I travel a lot and like to keep her involved.
Also, I did send her a ton of pictures from a recent trip we took together. They would actually have made sense to upload for her. She did not post a single one of those.
Okay, so this is the situation now. AITA for taking issue with this? Thanks for any input :)
Happy new year! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Vijr6W0r2G1Ndt16GLN7ybt4b7jVOHp0 | b55v3n | {
"description": "being angry about my girlfriend making status on Facebook about the fact we do anal",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being angry about my girlfriend making status on Facebook about the fact we do anal? | Pretty much the title.
We have been together for a short time and are still working out what we are comfortable and not comfortable with, one of those thing that has caused a few issues is openness vs privacy.
She is extremely open and I am extremely private.
I'm not being a prick for being angry that all of our closest friends now know this and are making jokes on the status about it and that the fact "only particular people" can see it doesn't make it any difference?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
8SwInAeCr9EAdzI2BTAGvue4tGcwXpzz | b2yl8g | {
"description": "getting really mad at my boyfriend when he said all girls who game are bad",
"pronormative_score": 161,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting really mad at my boyfriend when he said all girls who game are bad? | We were playing together and one of our teammates was doing stuff that was a bit questionable.
My boyfriend noticed that the username of the player was girly and started talking about how bad girls are in video games and kept referring to girls as bitches. I got frustrated by it and asked if he thought I was bad too since I happen to be a girl and he replied that I would be if I didn't have him.
I decided to just stop playing after that match. We texted a bit back and forth about this, he said I was a whiny bitch. He also said I was no longer a female in the wild so I wasn't that bad.
He complained that I took offense when he didn't say anything offensive.
I told him it was really uncalled for and that he can't look at one girl playing and say that all girls are bad, we have run into so many "bad" players that were guys and he said nothing about it.
I don't know if I overreacted about it, I got mad and I did call him a dick two or three times. I told him to not play with me if I'm so bad and that he definitely has some sexism in him. I didn't really get to say much else as he was ranting on about how girls don't have hunting instinct like guys.
He has taught me stuff in games that he played before I started, that I won't deny and I've been thankful for it. I just really disagree with what he is saying and I don't think it's weird that I took offense.
What do you guys think, did I overreact? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 159,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 161,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ovn1pZQKkTGjbLbnk5CDxmU3amOGa1fl | abgjkp | {
"description": "asking friends to look after my pets and not my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking friends to look after my pets and not my girlfriend | So I’m going away and needed my stick insects cared for including changing their leaves and possibly holding them as part of this process. My girlfriend describes them as eww each time she sees them and has never touched them or wanted to (we live in different houses). I asked another friend to look after them while I was away and my girlfriend is upset she wasn’t the first person I asked.
Should I have asked her first or gone with my choice and not wanted her to have to put up with them | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
zQKyQLQqvnpR1Qvmb9I6xqjqnLjOpvN6 | axlrfk | {
"description": "not doing Laundry at 1am even though I was still awake",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Not Doing Laundry At 1am Even Though I Was Still Awake? | 1am Last night. I Was in bed, on my phone, when my fiancé, who'd got back from a long shift 1½ hours earlier, walked into the room. He started out sounding apologetic, "I Know it's my mess, and you won't like this but..." Then basically asked me to gather up all his clothes for work tomorrow afternoon and put them in the wash
I Said no, after looking at the time and realising, to my surprise, it was one o'clock already, and I had to be up early. Also I didn't want to set a presitent that its okay to get me out of bed that late to do chores
He became annoyed, saying it needed to be done as he had work again at 4pm the next day, and also pointing out that I've been for nights out on a work night with him before, yet I won't do this
This made me feel bad and I wondered if I was just being lazy
In order for you to make your judgment, I want you to know the whole context, so here's our timelines for the day–
Me:
° Got up at 5:30am and did a just-over.1hr long commute to work for a 2hr shift
° After work, spent a few hours running around for last minute wedding shopping
° Once finally home, took the dog out to the bathroom, then chilled for an hour or 2 messing about on the laptop
° Then washed my hair and began cleaning and tidying around the house
°When he got in, I had some of the food he'd brought back and was in bed chilling on my phone by 1, I needed to get up for work again the same time the next morning
Him:
°Not sure when he got up, but he headed off at about 2:30 or 3p for an hour long bike ride
°He was in work for about 6hr I think, had another 1hr long ride home in the cold dark and rain, arriving at 11:30pm (You can see why he was tired)
°Upon arriving he asked me to run a bath for him and relaxed in there for a while before coming to be in work again for 4pm the next day.
If you're wondering why I was awake so late seeming as I needed to be up early, it was because I'd been waiting for him to come home seeing as I hadn't seen him all day, and then I just lost track of time
His arguments for me doing the laundry for him would be this:
° I Was still awake anyway
°He'd had a much longer working day and more difficult commute than me, and had not long got back, so he was tired whereas I'd been home for hours
°He needed his clothes washed and dried for the next day so it had to be done then and there
°I've Been out drinking in work nights before so should be able to do this | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
2qw0UqxSNxIirkz9uKqAm60gXCTiPReD | b8u54i | {
"description": "telling my friend he is a ignorant fuck",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for telling my friend he is a ignorant fuck ? | I was always interested with history. Naturally I have a good knowledge about my country and the countries which is have been in same geography before my country. I am from Turkey. On March 31 mayor elections happened and everyone still talking about results. I couldn't gave my vote because I am living in outside of the country. I am not supporting any specific party. I am supporting Kemalist ideas ( founding ideology of Republic of Turkey by Mustafa Kemal Atatürk ). I can easily say that I am against the AKP (Justice Ana Development Party, current government ) ideology. I had a conversation with my friend about election results yesterday. He said he is sad because AKP lost on 3 biggest city ( İstanbul , Ankara and İzmir).
To explain my action , I will give some personal opinion.
I think AKP trying to leave the society uneducated for getting vote without doing anything. They have power on all government and Justice departments. Most of the supporters of them are uneducated. The other supporters are feels like they have to support AKP to get right Justice service and get a better job. Because many job availability is under AKP's hand. This topic is so deep and I don't want to turn this post to a political post.
After my friend said that , I asked him " why are you supporting AKP ? ". He said " Erdogan ( head of AKP and president of Turkey ) is the most holy person who came in history of this country and Erdogan makes our economy better etc .". His speech is not depends on any official truth. I can easily give so many examples that our economy is not good but the supporters of AKP are mostly bindly believing only the information came from Erdogan's mouth. When I asked him "What about Kemalism ?". He said " Everything would be better if Erdogan had lived then in Atatürk's position ". He talked like Atatürk did nothing for this country and he claimed me traitor because I am a Kemalist. On his opinion I have no idea about real history.
I got very angry and I said " You will probably die with your low knowledge as a happy and poor person. Don't even think about talking like that about Atatürk again you ignorant fuck ! ".
AITA for telling that because of different opinions ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
z2jmRn9HZDrttlmL5hDhw7Rcxx4ABPeJ | a8oduu | {
"description": "not factoring my family's opinion about bully breeds into my decision to get a dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not factoring my family's opinion about bully breeds into my decision to get a dog. | I'm looking for a new dog and found a three month old pitbull mix at the shelter and sent them a link. they responded by saying they are scared of pitbulls and don't want one around their dog (80lb laberdoodle) and if I get one they probably wouldn't want him around them or their dog. I don't live with them but live close by and visit often. The thing is they know that this dog is going to go everywhere with me. My old dog was a shadow and I took him everywhere including to their house often. He was 130 lb Rottweiler so I have experience with bullys but they don't.
Am I an asshole for not wanting to factor their fear into my decision?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
zCdj5VIAZdnhFOgGD9pIRiX0tXA7vABR | b1juxe | {
"description": "asking a Guy to be quiet at a live show",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Asking A Guy To Be Quiet At A Live Show | I am in the interval for Blue Planet II Live In Concert. I am here with my sister and this is a Christmas Present from our parents. We saw the first one YEARS ago as small children.
Anyway, two rows behind us this guy is chatting with his misses and during the first half he was shushed several times and at the start of the interval myself and the guy sat behind me both asked him not to talk during the second half and he called us both assholes, the guy who was also asking him to be quiet made it very clear in the politest way possible that he won't be spoken to that way and he would ask a steward to get him to leave if he carried on talking in the second half. I just nodded firmly, not one for confrontation.
His misses made a quiet comment under her breath, something about people needing to mind their own fucking business, but when they're being loud enough for several rows to hear it's not really just their business is it??
Are we being assholes?? I really don't think we are but apparently he and his misses, as well as someone else on their row think we are. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FIRtpJDcJGju3FJyKA8xRevV1DxNtXEe | ai158b | {
"description": "wanting to give some of my friends money to buy jewelry my mother is making and selling to help pay for me and my step brothers braces",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For wanting to give some of my friends money to buy jewelry my mother is making and selling to help pay for me and my step brothers braces? | My step brother and I (both 17M) were put into braces about 3-4 months ago. I'm sure many of you know, braces are insanely expensive as they charge around 5 grand per person for 1 visit per month for 18 visits that last at most 30 minutes. But thats not the point.
Ever since we were put into braces, my mom has needed extra money to help pay the $300 a month. So she bought a booth at a local flea market for about $200 a month and now she sells crafts that she makes aswell as some jewelry. The problem is that she still has't broke even on the starting prices of her booth.
I'm not going to sit here and bash her crafts and jewelry, because I think some of them are awesome. She resells some jewelry snaps that she buys online and she makes a bunch of holiday themed items and gifts. She made a few ornaments that I really liked, but thats besides the point.
Like I said, she hasn't made any profit so far, and it's devastating to me. She works 7 days a week (5 days shes at her real job, and the other 2 working the booth) and she's exhausted, but keeps doing it. She has spent so much time trying to pay for me and my step brother's braces, and I'm extremely grateful.
Here's where the AITA is, though. I was thinking about giving some money to some friends at school to go and buy some of her things, just so she can be a little happier about making more money. The reason I think I'm the asshole though is that these wouldn't be honest customers. For all the time and money my mother has spent, I think it would be really mean if I pay friends to buy a bunch of her stuff.
So, am I an asshole for wanting to do this?
tl;dr:
Mom works booth at flea market, trying to pay for me and my step brother's braces. She still hasn't made any profit, and the amount of work she puts in bugs me (had to do the pun). I am going to give friends money to buy some of the stuff she makes, but these would be dishonest customers, and I would feel awful if all her hardwork is repaid by her son's pity money. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
zDtwUQRib2D44TJoE5rx11ZxdnLgJSEn | b3y1by | {
"description": "not telling my fiancé that his dad kissed me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 34
} | WIBTA if I didn’t tell my fiancé that his dad kissed me? | We were staying at his parents the other day and we all ended up drinking too much. We went to bed and my fiancé fell asleep but I couldn’t sleep. I went down to get some water and his dad was down there. We had a little talk in the kitchen and then he kissed me. I kissed him back for a couple of seconds and then pulled away when I realised what was happening. He apologized and I went back to bed.
The next day he acted normal like nothing had happened. I hate not telling my fiancé things but I’m worried this will ruin not only our relationship but his family relationships too. WIBTA if I just forgot about it and pretended it never happened? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 31,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 34
} | WRONG |
VdDjr3xoJGFsgBKyA5VIsvvxxJexbjME | b2w6q1 | {
"description": "not returning a backpack I took",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 20
} | AITA: For not returning a backpack I took? | First time posting.
Context: It was a Friday night and we went for drinks after work. We started as a large group and split off and moved to a busy bar. We managed to get a booth and we had all had quite a lot to drink. Throughout the night people were moving around the building and getting split up making it difficult to find each other. As I checked the last train my phone died so I left and noticed a backpack left at the booth we were at, I took it with me assuming it was a colleagues. When I came in Monday it was clear this bag didn't belong to anyone, we searched through to find some identification but the bag was largely empty. One of my colleagues says I should try and return it but I don't think it's worth the time to recreate the journey across the city. Am I the Arsehole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 20
} | WRONG |
pFtGeiWiyspLsAmuRCQUq5doKle2etGS | b9gyek | {
"description": "trying to convince my mom to fire a hard-up maid",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for trying to convince my mom to fire a hard-up maid? | Throwaway because some people know my main reddit account. I’m 16F btw. Let me just preface this by saying I really do try to be polite to the staff and I have a great relationship with all of them-except one maid, who I’ll call S. Mum hired her four months ago and oh. my. God.
She never cleans, she misplaces things every single day, she’s constantly on her phone, but most importantly: she has MASSIVE body odour problems. I’m not even exaggerating when I say I have never come across someone who, firstly, smells so, SO bad, and secondly, is so completely oblivious to it. I asked mum to offer to buy S toiletries like toothpaste or deodorant but S said she already had her own. A couple of weeks passed and the body odour just got worse so my mum bought her toiletries anyway and seriously talked to S abt fixing the problem. S was surprised (she didn’t think she had a BO problem AT ALL) but said she would fix it
A couple of weeks pass and still no change. It’s gotten to the point where I literally hold my breath for five seconds when S passes. One Sunday (the day S takes her holiday) was when I finally realised-and I know this sounds awful to say but- how much better the entire day was when S wasn’t there. None of my things were misplaced or lost and the house didn’t stink. Even the staff keeps complaining to mum about S never working and mum keeps talking to her but there’s no change. I’ve complained to mum several times, and she’s talked to S about the BO issue thrice but S hasn’t done anything.
So I went and talked to my mum again and told her that she hired S to do a job and not only was she not doing it, she was literally making things 100 times worse, always losing our stuff and her body odour was unbearable. My mum got a bit annoyed at me and said I had to stop being a brat and just deal with it now, and when I said I’ve been trying to deal with it for four months, mum said S needed the money and we couldn’t just fire her, so I suggested giving her three months salary as a leave package.
Then my mum REALLY got annoyed, started going on about how you can’t just fling money at people and expect it to solve problems. She said I was heartless and had no sympathy. I apologised to mum for being ‘heartless’ but I said I still stood by my argument. Mum isn’t too annoyed at me but said she wants me to work on my sympathy for others and ‘softening my heart.’ THEN, mum said I could choose whether to fire her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it (and mum absolutely knew this) so now I’m just back where I started. Mum talked more abt working on my sympathy and now I feel bad about trying to get S fired but still frustrated and just want unbiased opinions as to whether I’m being an asshole.
TLDR; I tried to convince my mum to fire a maid because she never works, only goes on her phone but most importantly stinks up the entire house. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
ewTnygs1jfHmpfR6a3Sx3MxHPYDbANjH | b1b9d5 | {
"description": "possibly being in love with someone else while in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for possibly being in love with someone else while in a relationship? | Let me start off by saying that I'm in a very happy relationship and I love my boyfriend. I have not cheated on him at least physically. I have not directly lied to him about it either. There is another guy who I had lot of classes with and we used to study together regularly. I thought we were good friends. About a year or so ago, we didn't have any classes together and he kind of stopped hanging out completely with me. This has left me with lot of feelings that I don't know how to process. Whenever I come across him I become restless. Whenever I tried to ignore it, I've had some intense dreams about him which made it even harder. So instead of completely ignoring the feelings I now think about it a bit, try to rationalize them and eventually get over them . I try my best to avoid his path but I end up seeing him at unexpected times and I have to get over him all over again. I have not initiated any contact with him after I started to have feelings. However I do feel like an asshole because I think I'm emotionally cheating. I don't know how else to deal with the situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FQE6nbIWTEbgiFiNl159ikScGVqPYAO7 | alh9k9 | {
"description": "not telling my mom about my trans boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my mom about my trans boyfriend? | To put this in context, my boyfriend- let's call him A identifies as a boy, my mom isn't quite homophobic or transphobic but she is very strict. At first A and I were good friends, we didn't hang out as much though as I was dating someone at the time and wanted to be respectful of my boyfriend by not hanging out with other guys alone. Long story short my boyfriend cheated on me and we broke up. A was the second closest person I was closest to and we talked more and more as I was completely heartbroken. About a month goes by and we're talking (we've gotten closer now) and A said he had a crush on me while my boyfriend and I were still dating and after thinking it through for a few days I tell him that I like him too. I ask him out a bit later and it's been going good for about a week now.
I'm scared of telling my mom he's trans- especially since I haven't told her we're dating yet. A says it's ok that my mom doesn't know so that we can sleep over and go on dates and my mom will see it as a girl thing and not us dating but I feel like I'm exploiting his gender. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
HtUk3xE9lEayfHTHm6dKxHrnxV574jx4 | ayw3od | {
"description": "not wanting my BF's friend to come over",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my BF's friend to come over? | Context: My boyfriend and I haven't been living together long, and we have some roommates: A married couple with a dog and a coworker of mine.
They seem pretty cool with us having guests but I am careful not to push it and invite too many people over. I have invited a mutual friend of my BF and I over a few times and I have had my best friend over a few times as well.
Both have stayed the night before. However with my boyfriend's friends I find myself not comfortable with them being over. One friend especially, who'll I'll call James.
All the times James has come over, he'll stay for 6+ hours. After a few times he did it I asked my boyfriend to talk to him about it. Not long after that talk, James got mad at something my boyfriend did and came to our home without an invite and I told my boyfriend that I was not allowing him in the house. Then James asked if I could call him an Uber after he and my boyfriend shared a cigarette outside. I couldn't afford it and my boyfriend told James I refused because he showed up uninvited.
Then James comes over and my boyfriend doesn't tell me. I spend 6 hours down stairs waiting until he leaves because he makes me uncomfortable. I tell my boyfriend I don't want James to come over any more and I want to discuss it with him. My boyfriend deflects the conversation and I end up feeling guilty, because I say this could push me away. I felt like I was using guilt to try and get my boyfriend to side with me.
My bf says he's not always comfortable with James's visits but feels even more uncomfortable telling him to leave. I don't want James over anymore and am prepared to talk to James myself. First I would like to know...am I the asshole here?
TL;DR: My boyfriend's friend always stays too long when he comes over. He makes me uncomfortable and I don't want him over anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6NEA54hjb3eDBT6nx3rQOBiMQzbVeDF9 | ae5itp | {
"description": "getting upset with my friend for pretending to cut",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITAH for getting upset with my friend for pretending to cut? | I was feeling generous or something and wanted to send my friend a gift. So I asked for her address. She didn’t want to give me hers until I gave mine to her. She threatened to cut herself if I didn’t give mine to her first, which I thought was just an empty threat. Sends me a picture of a fake looking cut on her thumb. Goes even further, another one on her index, darker this time. I called her to confront her about it and she said random shit. Then sent me one with her palm bloodied. Now, this looked decently real and shit. When I asked about it more she said “OMG, can’t you tell it’s fake?”. No, I’m not joking. When I asked why, she said it was because I wouldn’t give her my address. Are you fucking kidding me? So reddit, I ask you, am I the asshole for being upset with her and not wanting to speak with her the rest of the night? She’s clearly pissed at me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VRAyUKXaQuofSBO0UCa6QRgPBNRBApx1 | au88eb | {
"description": "telling a dude he needed to put on sunscreen",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For telling a dude he needed to put on sunscreen? | My wife and I went to Barbados last year and there was a guy who was **extremely** red. I honestly wasn’t trying to be a dick or anything but as we were both at the bar I mentioned that he was red and should put on some lotion. I told my wife I mentioned it to him and she said it was none of my business and she’d be pissed if I had said that to her. Really I had no ill intentions but I can see it being an asshole move in a different light, so am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
h5UftLLiYBwwXH3Prc5psgoxYWzHp0W4 | b0ix2n | {
"description": "ghosting a guy for the shit he posts on social media",
"pronormative_score": 56,
"contranormative_score": 61
} | AITA For ghosting a guy for the shit he posts on social media? | There’s this guy I was talking to that I decided to stop talking to randomly without telling him why. I basically ghosted him and he keeps trying to contact me and get me to go out with him. The reason I stopped talking to him is because what he posts on social media. Like an hour ago he just posted a meme that said ‘running away from hoes because I want a nice faithful girlfriend’. He also posted yesterday a picture that said ‘if you friendzone me then help me fuck your other friends bestie’. I want to add we are both 23 years old and at this point with my age and everything I think that’s so immature and such a turn off it’s gross like grow up. Guys that are like that you should stay away from right ? Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 34,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 56,
"WRONG": 61
} | WRONG |
LmrNFD2vBwlsaLspzOxq2yO4asXi87i4 | a56aj8 | {
"description": "treating my girlfriend like a man",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for treating my girlfriend like a man? | Recently I went on an overseas holiday with my long term girlfriend, we had a wonderful time bar one particular incident.
While on holiday we were waiting to catch a bus. Being in a foreign country navigation can be a bit difficult. My girlfriend was adamant we had to catch the bus numbered 21 to our destination because she had seen it on a sign at the main bus depot. I suggested we call the bus provider and ask just to be certain. She was very anti this idea for reasons I cannot comprehend and was certain this was the bus we had to catch.
​
I decided to sneakily give the bus provider a ring as I was genuinely unsure if this was the right bus stop and I didn't want to end up going to the wrong place. Turns out the bus we needed was not number 21 but number 22! I said to my girlfriend we needed to catch the 22 not the 21 and "luckily I checked". I did not mean this in a nasty way but I must have sounded condescending. She replied with "You're such a sexist pig".
​
I was honestly shocked. I have never considered my self to be sexist and asked her to explain. She said I was a chauvinist because I would not have double checked if it had been one of my friends (presuming she meant male friends). I thought this was really unfair as I have always tried to treat her with respect, I have even moved across country for her to pursue her career.
​
I was so upset by what she said I decided to treat her like a male friend for the remainder of the day. This started when we got on the bus with only one seat being available. Normally I would let here take the seat while I stood. Not today, I decided to grab the seat and let her stand which is what I would have done with a male friend. This continued for the rest of the day as I proceeded to not get the door for her, carry her coat etc.
​
When it came to dinner I generally order and take care of the bill when we are on holiday. This time I decided to ask her to grab the bill as I had paid for dinner the previous night. I could see she was upset by this point but at the time I thought I should make my point. By the next day i had gone back to normal but I could tell she was upset by my behaviour the previous day. I didn't do anything nasty, I just treated her with equality as if she was my male friend.
​
AITA for behaving this way? I now feel as if I was a bit sensitive with what she said and may have taken it too far, especially with the dinner situation? I was always raised to treat Women with respect and be chivalrous so I feel as if my actions were poor now. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
8gmuuibuq1KeRXeDMTH3D75lSgTqNCFo | ahvmr3 | {
"description": "insisting my gf wears headphones",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for insisting my gf wears headphones | So the issue starts here. I can not stand a certain voice pattern, which is prevalent in the YouTube videos my gf watches constantly she loves watching jefree star and rupals drag race stuff. I would say it's "gay male voice" but that's not totally true.
Either way it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. We have fought over it and she says I'm insensitive when I say I hate that voice. I just constantly tell her to put on headphones or I'll leave the room. Both she doesn't like. I don't care who it is that she's watching but if it sounds a certain way I'm immediately either throwing her headphones or leaving the room. She know the issue and continues to do it. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
kXgvdV3aTR5xLvxUBGzoSv3E73qp2vRQ | as3kfa | {
"description": "not really feeling devastated",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not really feeling devastated? | So, to get straight to the point, my grandma is dying. Hospice is keeping her comfortable but she is catatonic mostly and completely unaware of her surroundings.
I'm sad of course, but that said she is 96 and has been declining in health a bit recently. I DO wish this didn't have to happen, but I dunno... I just feel like I should be sadder, like maybe there's something wrong with me? And I feel like my family is really upset with me for it...
So idk, am I the asshole here? Should I feel worse or is this just normal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5SjdR4pAq8xchA0K68lViK8rGM0IkCZG | ansky3 | {
"description": "not helping my father",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not helping my father? | So I worked for my father for about 10 years, and it had its fair share of ups and downs. We had many blowouts over the years, and not all of them were just his or my fault, we are both difficult to deal with sometimes. Well it progressively got worse over the past several months, to the point where even after work I did not want to talk with him because of resentment.
So I decided for the benefit of us both I was going to quit working for him, I have quit many times in the past, but always end up going back, and getting into the same cycle. This time I have had enough, because instead of arguing about work or whatever it was, I increasingly was getting my character picked apart, usually for things that had nothing to do with the original dispute. I decided no matter what I was not going back.
I am 25, and moved back in with my father about 3 months ago, when my life kinda got turned upside down. This contributed alot to us not getting along, because we worked together and lived together.
So I decided to tell him I was done working, and at first he was ok with it. Well I agreed to help him finish one part of the job before I left, and did so, but when it came time to leave, I get accused of always quitting at the last minute, bailing on him when he needs me most. I pointed back to our agreement, but it did not matter I was not right for leaving in this manner. Well this reinforced the reasons why I wanted to quit in the first place, I am tired of guilt trips, and getting accused of crazy things ( he accused me of planning out quitting at the most inconvenient moment for him, that was just the last accusation before i was done). A week after I had quit he called me, and said because I didnt help him carry some heavy components of the job upstairs 3 weeks prior that I now have to go to work and help him do this part of the job. I tell him that was 3 weeks ago, and to blame me is unfair, (he did ask to take them up on the first day, but we talked about it, and i pointed out that they would be in the way of all the other work we had to do. It made sense then, and after we got finished with those parts he never asked to carry them up again). Well I say sorry I dont work for you anymore, and you cant just tell me I have to come to work for you. He says that because of my laziness I have made the job very difficult for him, and that because I have not paid much rent that I have to come work for my rent, literally the night before this I had offered rent, but he did not accept it, and now he says he didnt accept it because i didnt have the right attitude when offering it.
Over the two weeks since I have quit, I have been told that I dont want to work, I have no initiative, I dont want to pay rent, I dont want to clean the house, I dont want to help anyone, but myself. Mind the fact that I have offered rent on a few occasions, I have swept, vacuumed, done dishes, and taken care of their dog, just about everyday since I quit. I have also been putting in applications to various jobs, and looking into schooling.
Well my Fathers GF worked with us sometimes as well, and she was supposed to help him with a job. Well they have gotten into one of there many arguments, and she has left (she will probably be back this happens usually about once a month or so). So he is left to do the job on his own.
My father, the day after she leaves come barging in my room, at 8 in the morning. He says he really needs help, and is just very stressed because of his situation, I didn't want to say no I've made my mind up and I can't work with you, because he was already in a bad mood. So I just said dude I am very tired, and I had no idea that this was going to happen. He comes in three more times and just stands there pouring on the guilt trip, I just roll in bed, and tell him I didnt get much sleep, and I was not expecting to need to work today, sorry, but I cant do it. As he is walking out I hear him talking under his breath, and I dont know if its about me, but I can tell he is not happy with me, and is a pissed off that i wont help him.
Should I have helped? Or am I right for standing my ground? I feel like he tries to manipulate my emotions to get what he wants, hence the reason he gets so angry when i refuse him.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
I2tMWcUlAJ62GwgfIWBAmwZ4raV3coeV | b3einf | {
"description": "telling my dad's wife her family's not my family",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA for telling my dad's wife her family's not my family? | **Context**: my dad remarried last year. His new wife never had any children of her own; when she came into the picture, my siblings and I were living independent/semi-independent lives. She's lovely, but very spoiled and sheltered for a woman in her mid-fifties. I have seen the woman cry because she doesn't get her way, it's not pretty.
I'm a solo mum to a very well-behaved seven year old and finishing my BA. Usually, he goes to class with me and he actually likes it, but I have a three hour class once a week that ends around 10 PM. My dad and his wife live close by, they love playing the part of the indulgent grandparents, and my dad's wife is okay with watching him once a week.
**Problem**: last week when I picked my kid up, he was bawling over trivial shit. My dad's wife asked him to not take home a book - this specific book had been my brother's, but he gave it to my dad, who in turn passed it on to my kid - thinking my brother still wanted to keep it. We go home and he insisted he was upset over the book, but I had the feeling it was something else.
I mentioned this to his counselor and after his weekly play therapy session, she tells me that my kid expressed why he's upset. My dad's wife has been having her older brother over for dinner nearly daily and she's pushing my kid to interact with him. The main issues my son has with this are:
* all my kid wants to do after being done with his homework and reading is to be left alone to play Minecraft or with his toys;
* my dad's wife will turn off the tv/take away the tablet/shoo him out of her bedroom so they can all have dinner and "family time" together, calling her brother my kid's uncle;
* my son just doesn't like her brother (he calls him "the sad adult", which is ... accurate), so pushing interaction between them makes my son feel deeply fucking annoyed and uncomfortable.
My kid's counsellor tells me he's having trouble expressing the big feelings of frustration and stress that pushing these interactions on him is causing him, and it translates into outbursts like crying jags over "nothing".
My dad insists that something is wrong with my kid, anything from blood sugar to "sociopathy" (which, what the fuck, dad?). I am hesitant to mention to him what the actual problem is, because I pretty much know that telling them what the real problem is will mean dealing with a middle-aged woman throwing a tantrum.
I've decided to take my kid to that class with me from now on, since I'm three weeks away from finishing the term anyway and also because I'm not okay with this situation.
So, WIBTA if I point out to my dad and his wife that her pushing her family (and, more specifically, her brother) on my son and me and calling them our family is the problem, and that this shit needs to end ASAP? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
xAYxie50pYW4qh0OA3UcWCWW8Ec2E93g | b53trn | {
"description": "getting mad at girlfriend at massage with Male Masseur",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA: Getting Mad at Girlfriend at Massage with Male Masseur | So my SO of 3 years went to a massage out of town with her mother over the weekend, we live in the U.S just to clarify and she is not a legal adult yet.
​
So she told me the next day that she got the massage from a younger guy, though she had booked a female one. Anyways, the massage table had no blankets when she walked in and there was just a table and the towel she could wear. As she gets in the room the masseur tells her to take of her clothes. So up until this point it seems standard to me.
​
The masseur then tells her to take of her bra (redflag for sure) and she complies. Then he proceeded to take of her underwear without consent (another major redflag). She says nothing to the masseur, though she told me she felt very uncomfortable at this point (she assumed this is how massages work as she had never gotten one).
​
She lies flat on her front and the masseur begins to massage her legs. He goes all the way up to her inner thighs that he touched her p\*\*sy, again she said nothing of it. He then told her to turn on her back and sit up (she had been wearing a towel around her to cover her breasts), and he proceeds to tell her to put her hands up in the air, to which her towel fell to the ground (again she thought this was standard procedure). The masseur began to massage her bare breasts (without asking or anything of the sort).
​
I talked to her the next day to see if she was okay and she just laughed the thing off saying it wasn't a big deal and that she just didn't want to make a scene. I got upset with her because I felt that she should've said something because she was uncomfortable and the whole story didn't sit well with me (being her BF and all).
​
AITA for being upset with this whole situation or is this normal for a massage?
​
TL;DR:
Got mad at under 18 girlfriend who was uncomfortably touched by masseur and she didn't contest.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 4,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
TS4Cs8Q11eju6Xi6mzKF36YPN81XhrRJ | agzfc0 | {
"description": "not wanting to date a woman who has kids",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to date a woman who has kids? | There's this girl I used to work with. She's beautiful, smart, funny... the whole package. She also has 2 kids. I'm not sure why, but I just have this mental block about dating someone who has kids. Does this make me a bad person? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dkis34SZRD761wGBE0UJgj6urdT5nTMr | aigo6d | {
"description": "leaving my family to go live with my aunt and not forgiving my father",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my family to go live with my aunt and not forgiving my father? | Buckle down folks, this is gonna be a wild ride.
I live with my grandparents because my mother is too unstable to take care of my siblings and I. My father used to be a heroin addict. He went to prison for for his second offense of trafficking stolen goods (he stole jewelry from my grandma and his sister.) He came out to live with us with his pregnant girlfriend and can't keep a job. It's been four years since, he's had two kids, and no steady income. Recently, he's been stealing from my grandparents. A lot. I mean 1000's from my grandparents. No matter what they do, get new accounts, change banks, new cards, he finds their information and transfers money into their accounts. He's been pretty bad lately, and he's even taken my Xbox. We think he's pawned it. Anyways, last night I found a make up bag with needles, straws, burnt tinfoil and spoons, and a little baggy with white powder in it. After my grandparents confront him, he fesses up. But it's not heroin, no, it's Fentanyl. For those who don't know, Fentanyl is, in most cases, 100x more potent than morphine. I've decided enough is enough. He's already ruined my childhood with the last shit he pulled, and now this is the last straw. I don't want to give him a second chance. I already know how this is gonna end and I don't wanna be here to see it go down. I'm 16, a junior in highschool, and I have finals tomorrow. I don't want to deal with this. I called my aunt and she said I can live with her. My grandparents aren't happy about this but they're letting me go anyways.
Am I the asshole for choosing to leave? Am I a bad person for choosing to go? Am I making the right decision? I feel awful but I'm so tired. I don't wanna do this anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TJN9xOBdcJe3HjmrgekyRBDjUFOAHVPH | a2y5ng | {
"description": "getting mad over karaoke",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For Getting Mad Over Karaoke | My girlfriend and a couple friends went out drinking last night. We ended the night at a karaoke bar. Let me preface this by saying that I'm usually pretty self-conscious and therefore don't participate in karaoke. This night I was feeling pretty good so I picked out a song and paid for it. The idea was that we would sing the song together. When my turns comes up she tells me I don't know the words to the song so she would sing it with her friend instead. I was pretty upset by this, so for the rest of the night (we went home like 30 mins later) I was acting kind of pouty. Then she handed me the $2 to pay for the song. This made me even angrier so I threw the money on the floor and said that I don't want it. I think what upset me was that she thought I cared about the $2 measly dollars for the song, when I actually just felt disrespected and like she wasn't being supportive. We've been together a long time, so I felt like she should have known that this was a pretty big deal for me. Like I said, I'm usually pretty quiet and just stick to my beer at karaoke bars. Anyway, this escalated into a huge fight and her saying that I ruined her night, and now I'm sitting here debating on whether or not I'm the asshole. I know I could have just let it go, but I have to admit I've been feeling kind of sad lately, and this just bothered me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
8k2eBrTPzVaKsuwGVhewQO8oIUEiXz5Y | anxaqr | {
"description": "(inadvertently) getting a classmate in trouble? tl;dr at the end",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for (inadvertently) getting a classmate in trouble? tl;dr at the end | Alright, backstory time.
I'm in a high level Biology class at uni with a lecture and lab component. The class is Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy and labs involve looking at a lot of different kinds of specimens to identify structures, doing dissections, etc. The professor really only has two ground rules in lab: 1) Don't leave your scalpel out where it can cut yourself or someone, and 2) Don't use any sort of writing implement as a pointer on specimens so as not to accidentally mark on them since it can be hard to remove marks from some specimens. The prof has made these two rules thoroughly clear from day one as the only thing he'll really get mad at if he sees you doing it. I've noticed almost from the get go a student who consistently either forgets this rule or just doesn't care. AFAIK he hasn't be outright caught yet, but I had no intention of calling him out directly and snitching to the prof. I'm going to call him the Scribbler
​
Fast forward to a recent class, we're doing a review day on skeletal anatomy. I prompted the professor to come over with a question about some structures in the lab manual but realized we don't have that particular specimen at the table so I went to the table where the Scribbler sits and asked the group if I could borrow said specimen, to which they obliged. On coming over with the specimen and asking my question, the professor noticed mild marker line across the specimen and it was clear to him it wasn't my doing since I just brought it over. He asked me where I got the specimen from, and I wasn't really thinking about it because I was focused on the material, so I just pointed to the table where I sourced it. Now I didn't realize it, but no one else at the table was using a marker except the Scribbler. The Prof immediately went over and asked Scribbler if he was responsible. Scribbler goes on to categorically deny the accusation, but I guess the lab assistant had seen Scribbler do this in the past and the professor wasn't buying the feint. He chided the student, and returned to me and class resumed as normal.
​
Lo and behold, after class, the Scribbler accused me of intentionally ratting him out to the professor, which makes no sense because I have literally no impetus or motive to do so, and I made that clear. I learned that it cost him 5 points from the daily lab grade (out of like, 30?) and he has to come in on a separate occasion to go through all the specimens and any specimens with marker on them. I explained what happened but he went on to call me an asshole and say that even telling the professor I got the skull from their table was a dickish move. I sorta folded and apologized and went on my way to avoid making a situation out of things.
tl;dr: I accidentally outed a classmate of mine to the professor for violating one of the few ground rules of our lab class and he got scolded/a point deduction and has to come in and clean a bunch of specimens (potentially, not sure how many he's marked up).
So, y'all, AITA here? I felt sorta bad about him having to clean all the specimens, but frankly, it isn't really that hard of a rule to follow.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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} | RIGHT |
kIf7ZaqnjXBh1RdxurVhXBVGuj122e9E | 9ycp06 | {
"description": "ghosting my best friend of four years",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ghosting my best friend of four years? | So I've been best friends with this guy ever since I met him in junior year of high school - he's always been a bit weird (politically radical), and he used to seem kinda fragile and in fact got bullied for most of high school. For most of our friendship we've been mutually best friends, hanging out twice a week, going on holiday together, etc. Now it's our second year of college (same uni) and his behavior has progressed from weird to straight-up not okay. It started with him acting rude towards me, which he later told me was an attempt at manipulation. A couple months after that he told me about a sexual conquest that *really* sounds like rape (but "they were both really drunk and she could have said no at any time so it's ok"). And then sorta recently he told me that he tries to manipulate friends and family on the reg.
​
That last thing was the last straw for me - I know the rape should have been the last straw but I assumed he would come to his senses I guess. Anyhow, I ghosted him a couple weeks ago - haven't replied to any texts, removed him on social media, etc - and while I'm generally really relieved that I did, I can't help but have doubts that ghosting him was the right way to go about it. I had tried just being "super busy" in the weeks prior to ceasing contact but every third time I denied being able to hang out he blew up on me... so I ghosted him rather than have him blow up on me for telling him I don't want to talk anymore. A few days ago a mutual friend sent me a long text that basically says "you shouldn't have cut X off without saying why, talk to him about whatever it is that you're mad about." Cue me having more doubts... so AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
PrzQrrnxxWnQ6U5fn2QEN68Q25CJH8qY | ax7apm | {
"description": "dating someone younger than me",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for dating someone younger than me? | Hello, I was shown this website and subreddit by my grandchildren. My wife recently died due to cancer and things have gotten pretty hard without her. I am 73 years old and approaching the point where I’ll need to go to a retirement home. I tried dating some people my age, but even leaving the house is quite difficult. I found out about a website that is designed to connect younger girls with older, wealthier guys. I have been dating my now girlfriend, who is 20 years old, for 3 months. Things have been going great, but I feel a bit uneasy that she is about the same age as my granddaughter. I haven’t opened up to my family about this but am trying to figure out if I am an asshole for dating someone with such a large age gap. Thank you and look forward to hearing your opinion about this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
KY63LtX7KFfngYNAsiXFh8Vb4f2ctlRq | apc0a6 | {
"description": "asking my so to drink more responsibly",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my SO to drink more responsibly? | Hi all!
Using an alt account. My GF and I have been together for the better part of two years. I adore her with all I am, and love her from top to toe. Except for when she is out drinking. I am 24 and she is 23, and we're both from Norway. Before proceeding to read this, understand that Norwegian drinking culture is a little different from many other countries, and we tend to drink only on weekends, but many go out with the goal in mind of getting completely wasted.
Now, my GF isn't necessarily out with a goal of becoming as drunk as possible, but her body seems to be extremely susceptible to mixing alcohol. What is the sweetest person alive becomes this absolute messwhen she drinks, and it is insanely tiring for me. It's usually one of two scenarios: We go out together with friends, and I can't enjoy myself or the people around me at all, because I feel chained to her in case she pops into toddler mode and starts doing irrational stuff, or I am home (not a huge fan of going out), and she ends up calling me, making me come and get her, if she even is at the place she told me she'd be.
Right now it's 4:30 am, and I'm losing my shit. She went out today for a birthday, leaving with the promise of "Yes, I'll take it easy tonight", only to still be out there somewhere. Luckily I have Snapchat, and I can check the map if I'm scared she's somewhere she shouldn't be, and to look at mystories. She's recently become "friends" with a gang I absolutely despise. They drink what seems like 3-4 days a week, and do loads of coke. She hasn't tried that yet, as she explains that she doesn't want anything to do with that. She is there right now at an after party. Went there once myself, never going back. Absolutely putrid place.
Anyway, this Friday, she also went out. That evening some of my friends came over to our new apartment, to hang out, drink a few beers, and play some Smash Bros. Of course, around 1 am I receive a call from her, where she has no idea where she is, and I tell her that it's probably better if she comes home. She then proceeds to get in a taxi, call me on facetime by accident, hang up, and call again a few minutes later. She says that she's here. I go out to look, and she is nowhere to be found. Apparently, she'd given the cab driver the general area rather than the address, and she is 500 meters down the road, I scurry down to find her, and I carry her home while she's half asleep on my shoulders. I'm slightly irritated now, as she's pulled me away from my friends yet again (this has happened numerous times before). When we get back to our place, I'm just a little down, cause she keeps doing this, and my friends probably noticed too.
Like, some nights she's fine, and comes home okay, usually when she hasn't mixed wine, beer, Jägermeister, Fireball and vodka, and that's completely fine. I want her to have fun, but not on my expense. I'm a very busy guy too. I have work, studies, and a very demanding position in our student union, so I really can't get enough down time, and she knows this all too well. She also keeps saying things like "I don't know how I got so drunk" and "It's not my fault", and the such. It's not like she becomes aggressive or anything, but she has gotten into serious trouble whilst drunk before. It's more like you try your hardest to communicate with her, but it's like she's a demented three year old. In other words: Absolutely impossible. I don't think she'll ever do anything drastic or life threatening, but I just still can't shake this subsisting feeling of unease. Like a constant heart rate of 120.
Bottom line is, am I the asshole here for wanting her to drink more responsibly? I feel like this feeling of responsibility from my side is eating me up. I hate that she hangs out with loud assholes that does cocaine, and won't give a second thought to their studies or ambitions, and I hate that I can't sleep or relax because I know that my phone is doomed to ring any second and I'll need to come and rescue her. On the other hand I feel like this is controlling of me, and has something to do with jealousy. I want her to live her life the way she sees fit, but at the same time, I need her to understand that I can't keep sitting around being worried. It's 4:30 am, and I'm leaving for a flight to a neighboring city at 08:25 tomorrow, and I am not getting any sleep tonight. I'm just so tired of all this, and I'm nearing despair. I'm really conflicted, and would love some advice. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CTdnAw1sAXfJi8QzrFnvWPVb2sqpLa5b | a5dsmk | {
"description": "getting a lot of students in trouble",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for getting a lot of students in trouble? | Copy pasted from my post on r/confession, [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/a5djs4/i_got_the_most_popular_kid_at_my_school_expelled/).
(Throwaway account, **TL;DR at bottom**, writing might not be the best feel free to ask for clarification.)
This takes place at a boarding school in PA. It started maybe a week ago, I had heard that this sophomore at my high school, lets call him Beef, had a fuck load of pot in his locker to sell. A few days later I was down in the dumps after getting rejected by some girl. I just felt like fucking someone else's life up. So, I anonymously reported Beef for pot through a student community leader.
Now, a few days later I get a text from a friend kinda freaking out because a whole bunch of dorm rooms, girls and boys are getting raided. Apparently they found coke or heroine in one of the bathrooms which was surprising because my school is known for pot but it's kinda preppy in the way where you shouldn't find coke or heroine, sorta hippy. Then a few minutes later while I'm laughing that a fuckload of people are getting raided, a dorm meeting is called (its around 10:00 pm at this point). The mood in the room is really sad and kind of angry in the room, apparently one of our student dorm leaders (think like camp counselor), lets call him Chad (lol) had been expelled, so I put 2 and 2 together and figured out that he had been caught in the mass bust.
The next day in class is when I found out though. This other girl was gossiping about it to me and apparently, it hadn't been coke or heroine, *it was me.*
Beef actually *had* been caught because I reported him. Beef had been hiding his stuff in another empty locker and they found it. Someone tipped him off to this and he self reported before they caught him though. (At my school if you self report for drugs they let you off but only once.) They still found the matches Beef had been using though so he got suspended for that. They went through his phone to find who he had been selling to which is how so many people got caught.
I was doing my best to hide how funny I thought this was that it was my fault. Plus I was hiding that I knew anything because I don't want people to hate me for narc-ing.
Apparently they drug tested almost 30 people and a lot came up positive which means that they all get a major strike on their record and other major discipline.
The next day, in the bi-weekly school meeting, Chad was given a chance to speak to the group and say what he needed. This guy was really well liked too, (may have been a bit of a popular dick though, I didn't really know him). So many people were crying, not just students, a bunch of teachers and deans too, even the principal was shedding a tear or two. A lot of people stood up and talked, most cried, most of whom I hate, but a few that I genuinely had respect for. One guy I really liked is even getting pulled out by his parents because of this.
At the time I was sitting in my seat trying not to laugh my ass off at how many people were crying, I don't know why it was so funny to me; a hundred crying people, all crying because of me and none of them knew it. It was genuinely the happiest I've been in a while. That sounds kind of sick though.
In talking to a friend about it they kind of think that all those people had it coming for breaking the rules and that they would have been busted eventually anyway. It seems like there is some mass bust at this place each year.
Since then I think I almost feel some guilt about it but not really? IDK man. I've tried to sorta justify it by saying the guy I reported was sort of a rude dick, which I think he was? Again didn't really know him. Plus some people told me that the guy that I liked whos getting pulled out was actually a dick but I'm not sure, he gave me pizza once and chatted with me for no reason other than to be nice.
Am I a bad person? I'm not without empathy, I do feel a little bad. I ruined a lot of people's week, facilitated a lot of major discipline, one guy's high school and another guys life.
**TL:DR:** Reported a kid for selling pot because I was bored and felt like being a dick. Ended up getting a slew of his customers in major trouble and one of them, the most popular guy in my high school expelled. Didn't really feel bad. :P | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
kfe5N0YScuBTi2goKKCTIwyiksUltcn3 | atzoek | {
"description": "trying to prove my wife wrong about something",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for trying to prove my wife wrong about something? | Background: during a late night with our fussy daughter (6 weeks old) I opted to get up and feed her. She finished about 3/4ths of a bottle of breastmilk, leaving about a quarter of an ounce in it. We left it on the table. 2-3 hours later our daughter is peckish again and I gave her the rest of that breastmilk and then gave her a small bottle of formula until she fell back asleep. My wife was awake for the first feeding but was asleep for the second.
That morning I mention I gave her the rest of the breastmilk bottle that she didn't finish. My wife was upset, telling me that she could get really sick from stale milk because she had drank from the bottle a couple hours prior.
I decided to look up online if it was true. For formula you need to throw it out after an hour, regardless if it was touched. But for breastmilk there doesn't seem to be any issue with it being reused, at least for up to 4 hours, since breastmilk can fight against bacteria better than formula.
I sent her a link to what I had read, and the next thing I hear is a very sarcastic "Clearly you're the better parent here, why don't you take care of her and I'll go back to work instead" and now she'll barely talk to me and has just been livid with me all day.
TL;DR: wife was upset I gave our baby leftover breastmilk that was about 2-3 hours old, showed her research it's not bad for a baby, and she doubled down against me and is even more upset. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
1Gn7ODHf1q1kRlfNgWnek1pmEj8Opw5L | av95l3 | {
"description": "taking my daughter out of school behind her moms back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for taking my daughter out of school behind her moms back? | So to try and keep it short, baby momma (henceforth as BM because it’s accurate and funny), has kept my girls from me since the end of November. After having a meeting with the attorney generals office this morning,they made it clear that the custody papers they gave me and BM weren’t valid because a judge hasn’t signed off on them yet.
So I head over to the school and they tried to stop me from getting her, saying that they had a court order on file. after a back and forth with the principal and an officer she brought, I finally convinced her to call the AGs office and they’d tell her that it wasn’t valid. Sure enough, they said it wasn’t valid. So they let me take her home.
So, AITA for taking my daughter out of school behind her moms back? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
rNK6PDT6FTQGrU2Rhq9Cf4jgktAOWpOj | alz1qk | {
"description": "getting pissed off at my friend's alcoholism and wanting him to stop",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting pissed off at my friend's alcoholism and wanting him to stop? | Before you say "of course NTA" I might be in the wrong.
So I go to a college campus where they really don't want people drinking because it's caused a few incidents. They come up with events on the weekends to stop people from partying and I've been lucky enough to be chosen to host one of these events. Now this is a big event with almost 400+ and huge monetary prizes and one of my friends (let's call them W) comes a lot.
W drinks a lot. He's a casual alcoholic to say the least. He brings in alcohol everyday and his excuse is "I'm not getting drunk and it's only 8%! It's not so bad"
Now at this event, it's specifically to stop you from drinking. The event I'm helping host is being co run with our campus's center that helps people with alcoholism, addiction, sexual issues, mental health, e.t.c.
This type of event was run about 2 weeks ago and I saw W bring in a can of alcoholic cider and everyone in our friend group told him to put it away or throw it out. He chugged the whole thing and threw it out. Now I'm afraid he'll bring in drinks to this event as well and some of the following will happen:
The organization co hosting won't do it again because their events are specifically supposed to be dry and safe.
He'll be barred from future weekend events.
He'll get in trouble along with anyone vouching for him.
I'll get in trouble if it's found out I knew this was going to happen.
I tried to convince him to stop and he's really a nice guy but I'm getting frustrated with the excuses between "I'll just pregane" to "I'll stop starting now" to "No one will notice! You'll be fiiiiine." It got to the point where I took his bottle of alcohol and wanted to flush it down the toilet because it feels like he's being plainly disrespectful to me. It got to the point where I ran into the girls room so he couldn't follow, but he did and crawled onto the floor for a $3 bottle of beer. I know that was harsh but wouldnt that be a sign of an alcoholic? (I wasnt actually gonna flush it though. I don't really have the heart to and I know this shouldn't be my problem but I feel conflicted) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OfAJsS7AMddcNOfS8tn7nLsOgYtIiOHR | 9y0gpm | {
"description": "being pissed about my friends not giving time to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed about my friends not giving time to me | Just to clear up, no I do not express my dissatisfaction or anger. If my friends are busy with things, I say "no problem" and in no way do i convey that I'm pissed at them.
With that out of the way, I (m) have 2 best friends. Both of them barely make time for me and I'm frustrated that I don't get to hang out with friends. I'm angry at them for not hanging out with me. I'm angry for not having better friends to replace them. I'm just pissed off I'm alone and they don't make time for me.
Is this normal? To be pissed about such a thing? Thanks for y'alls replies. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zlKD6PxRESLObhiAj54cPS6gZj7bzklQ | b1i26z | {
"description": "cutting my sister off because of her decisions as an attorney",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 50
} | AITA for cutting my sister off because of her decisions as an attorney? | My older sister, Jane, was recently arrested and charged with fraud. We've had a strained relationship my whole life, but I am very close to my younger sister, Amy, who's a criminal defense attorney. Amy offered to represent Jane, pro-bono, and of course, Jane accepted.
This is where I run into a problem. Jane and I have a fraught relationship for many reasons, one of them being that I think she completely lacks impulse control and a moral code. Jane does things that are objectively morally incorrect, with no thought or remorse. She constantly steals. All of her relationships are built on lies, and 90% of what she tells anybody is untrue.
I know that Jane is guilty. Everybody knows she's guilty, even Amy. Jane has never tried to state her innocence. I asked her if she had done it, and she just shrugged and told me that she's "guilty of a lot of things."
Last night, Amy and I were discussing Jane's case, and I asked her if she thought that Jane was innocent. Amy said no, she was confident that Jane had done this. I agreed, and said it might be good for her to go to prison, so she could see that her actions have consequences. Then, Amy said that she wasn't going to try and prove Jane guilty. She said that because Jane had never technically confessed and there was insufficient evidence, she was confident that Jane would be able to get away with it. I was kind of horrified. I asked her again if she thought that Jane was guilty, and again, she said she felt that Jane was guilty. I asked why she wouldn't get her to confess or at least get her some community service time.
Amy told me that she doesn't want to play nice with prosecutors. She wants to win, and she doesn't care how she looks while doing it. She even said she wants to represent the next O.J. I told her it was a bad idea, because it would drive away business, and she said she doesn't want to represent people like me. She wants to represent people like Jane, who give her the most black and white case, and allow her to turn it around for them. I asked if she was only doing it because Jane is our sister, but she told me again that she wants to be successful. Amy has always been competitive, but it's sort of scary to see her like this. I said she was a shark, and that nobody in the family would want to speak to her after the trail was over, and I said I would cut contact if she didn't do the right thing.
Of course, Amy got mad, and told me that I was being overly critical because I want to be nice and complicit. She started saying that because she's a woman, no one else at her firm will take her seriously, and this is her opportunity to prove herself, but I said again, this was just going to get her into more trouble than it was worth. She got mad, told me I was being an ass, and left.
​
AITA? Is she just doing what she has to do? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 47,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 50
} | WRONG |
aCKXcZR1bDnFHZ0v45ts0OsPfMKu8IOg | aa250i | {
"description": "sharing jokingly my co-worker's mistakes with my team",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for sharing jokingly my co-worker's mistakes with my team? | I have this co-worker who just joined the team a few months ago. As a group our team is really friendly and we all make fun of each other. A few days ago he bought an expensive wired mouse for himself, while he was opening it up he accidentally cut the cord and made the mouse "wireless". I naturally took a picture of the mouse and made a meme out of it (link: [https://imgur.com/a/453qZls](https://imgur.com/a/453qZls)). I also posted the picture on the team's slack and made fun of him. I honestly thought it's funny and thought it is fair since we all make fun of each other. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
8UHTABjEjJa3k7qYtxV1SpOTFqKkFJeL | 9w5sf4 | {
"description": "cracking down on my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for cracking down on my friend? | I'll try to keep this short, but some backstory:
I have a friend from vocational school who has fallen on hard times. He had been moved out of state with his parents after losing a string of crappy jobs, under threat of homelessness. A reasonable decision. So he goes from a mild, damp climate to a hot, arid one, and hates it, can't get jobs there either. He tried and failed to get a flight back here, and meanwhile, he's keeping me in the know. During this time, his parents are assaulting him physically over arguments of a political nature (not going into details on this). He tells me of this, and I, caring for his safety, spend a good bit of my savings getting him back here, where he truly belongs. My wife and I laid out some basic ground rules, such as "don't leave your shit strewn about the apartment, smoke outside, don't come in our room unless invited", etc. We also offered to pay him $60 every two weeks while he doesn't have a job to clean the apartment, mainly so he'd have some pocket cash. Nothing gross; I deal with our cat litter. But things like loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, mostly menial tasks. He half asses everything. To the point where I had to step in and do myself what we're paying him to do. We aren't slave driving him; we gave him freedom to choose when to do it (*within reason*). But shit isn't getting done. He has applied for jobs, hasn't gotten an interview yet. He also drinks the coffee like it's water to a desert wanderer, and we've gone through on average 1 full "mega" roll of charmin tp per day since he's been here - wife and I can make a roll last several days, maybe a week. He had foodstamps, but blew his wad on energy drinks (!) and coffee creamer. We had 2 meals out of his $210+ food stamps, and we get to wait till next month to get more (yeah, AFTER Thanksgiving).
WIBTA if I crack down on him? If I supply him with 2 rolls of tp biweekly, and a case of ramen and tell him he's not doing enough around the home? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
GntjX76l84IOWyH1y76yV4V8ApZLJRis | b0qlk5 | {
"description": "I volunteer bartending for events, keeping my tips. I have been told this isn't apropos",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA When I volunteer bartending for events, I keep my tips. I have been told this isn't apropos. | ​
I feel that I'm volunteering my time, but the tips I earn through the services I provide should be mine. I've had mixed responses to this and figured the good citizens of this sub could maybe give me perspectives I haven't considered yet.
Also if someone has straight up told me that my tips aren't my own, I will relinquish them, but more often than not I rescind my volunteer offer if it's made clear before the event that I won't be entitled to them. I've never been rude about it, and I've never done it in a way that would inconvenience the event (last minute cancelling).
TIA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
tdhm87JAXx8GHjWk78zPbsMpw2JsRJyQ | a9auma | {
"description": "getting annoyed at my wife when she wants to stay up all night",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA For getting annoyed at my wife when she wants to stay up all night? | My wife and I go to bed together each night together and get up at roughly the same time. She is an expat and messages her brother through Whatsapp and Facebook Messenger. On the rare occasion he is free to play games with her and talk to her on skype. Because of the time difference between her and her brother (7 hours) it can be difficult to arrange these sessions.
I'm more than happy for her to spend time with her family, I'll leave her to it and do my own thing for 2-5 hours while it happens. I understand how hard it is for her living away from her family and she needs to keep that relationship with them strong.
My problem is this - sometimes (not every time) she wants to spend all night playing with her brother, and when I've told her I want to go to bed at the same time as her and ask her to stop playing, she gets upset with me. I try to justify this with her and explain its important that we go to bed at the same time, because 1. I have a hard time sleeping if not next to her and 2. It has been expressed that going to bed at different times in a relationship can be detrimental to the relationship itself - it can spiral out of control and become a habit. She doesn't appear to agree to these points and tells me that she thinks the 'situation itself' is shitty.
I've also talked to her about creating a schedule with her brother, so that once a week or fortnight I can sleep in the spare bedroom and leave her to do her own things, but after telling her this she tells me that her brother is quite spontaneous and her gaming sessions with him don't have any decent notice of time. (I normally say that this is his problem and he's the one that needs to sort himself out).
​
Am I the asshole? Should I loosen up and leave her to it? I don't like the idea of being controlling which I know I can be sometimes.
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
1bPhuYJdwFVnQjkjESwU91ShzZmIG6Ia | b46psu | {
"description": "not wanting my brother to move into my place",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I dont want my brother to move into my place? | So I've recently gotten my first place, and I've worked hard to save up and move out and such. The thing is that where my family is moving my brother (23) isn't welcome, as he and mum don't get along and have stupid fights which always seem to end with him getting kicked out. He also doesn't get along with our half sister (13) who, fair enough, is really disrespectful and loves causing drama.. but my brother has some anger issues and can sometimes be violent, hitting walls, breaking stuff, etc.
Essentially he dropped out of school and has never worked before, living on the government and relying on family (he does nothing but game and gets angry when harassed about getting a job). I know he might be 'homeless' if he can't find a place soon, but I know if I let him stay at mine he will get comfortable and act his usual self, blaming the world for why he is in the situation he's in, and that he won't look for places or work.
I don't want to have to deal with his childish bs, or have my relationship with him ruined because in a fit of anger he hits me or breaks the property, let alone me reminding him to get his own place. I figure since he's never grown up being coddled so long, he's just going to have to figure it out the hard way. I have been helping him try finding places as well, and don't mind helping a little financially though.
Tldr: brother with anger issues will soon be homeless and I don't want him staying at my place cos he won't likely leave
(homeless as in not on the streets but mooching off somebody else, like friends 4 hours away or something) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yv6Q7Qgq6eyhfoeONH7O3CXw72FWSAz7 | ax3b02 | {
"description": "telling this guy to stop",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling this guy to stop? | I’m a gay male, and this guy has no boundaries.
We were friends since we’re in the same orchestra, and eventually he asked if we could start dating. I told him I don’t want to do relationships. He’s always asking me what I’m doing, and always telling me I’m hot and awesome.
It’s very flattering, but the feeling’s not mutual. I’ve told him on multiple occasions I don’t want to date, but he’s very set on going out.
Is it mean that I just want him to stop? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7sDqIwJbM7584GbWf7iUmhBociUVX3tB | b9jig6 | {
"description": "sitting in my car in a parking lot with my door slightly open while a vehicle is trying to park",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA sitting in my car in a parking lot with my door slightly open while a vehicle is trying to park? | I'm sitting in my car with door slightly open to let the cool breeze in because it's hot in California and I haven't turned my car on yet to leave. I'm on my phone looking at directions for my next destination then suddenly *HONK*, someone in a big ass truck honks at me presumably to close my door to allow him to park. I gave him a dirty look as he was parking. 1.) There's more than enough room for him to park without hitting my door [maybe not from his perspective, but that's still his fault for not gauging his approach correctly.] 2.) He could have parked in the spot behind the one next to me because he was pulling in across the line to be facing forward. 3.) Isn't it common educate not to honk at people not in vehicles because horns are loud AF? [And if you do honk at someone, tooting the horn is a lot more understandable] IDK it's mildly infuriating... Just venting to get over it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
wdscgvaDcnWmzt7l31UVAW3HcRpUrPPP | aqge6q | {
"description": "cancelling a trip to see my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cancelling a trip to see my boyfriend? | My boyfriend lives in Austin, TX and I am in Annapolis, MD for college. Originally from Pittsburgh, PA. I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for two months, but we’ve been friends for three years. We only got close in the past 6 months or so. Started dating in late December.
I’m a full time college student six hours from home. My spring break is March 1-18th. I had originally planned on seeing my family until the 12th and my boyfriend in Austin the 12-17th. He bought concert tickets, booked a hotel in Houston, and took off work for my trip. I was excited to see my family and even more excited to see him.
Unfortunately my grandmother has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It has spread to her liver, brain, and bones. We won’t know how bad it is until her appointment March 1st but we may only have a few months. It was found during her hip replacement last week. She’s only 72 and this is completely unexpected. My grandmother is one of my favorite people in the world. I’m absolutely devastated and struggling to cope. I keep thinking about the quilt we started together but never finished, and how I can’t wait to play her in scrabble over break. I want to spend as much time as possible with her and I’m sad I’m so far away now.
I told my boyfriend I wanted to maybe cancel the trip since it seems likely my grandmother could pass before my next opportunity to be home from school, and he told me I have 10 whole days to spend with her and I’m only giving him 6 days of my time. And that I’m giving her more time. And he can’t believe that I’m cancelling. He told me I can’t live my life in fear of bad things happening and I can’t feel guilty for having a life outside my family.
Now I genuinely don’t know what to do here. I’ve been crying for days. I need to book a plane ticket soon if I’m going, but it feels wrong to go but wrong to cancel.
Am I being unreasonable? AITA? Thanks Reddit | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kY6ov11kZHciZN70wW8Cja945IwjPnDc | aufms0 | null | AITA Mother wants me to get a haircut | I'm [22M] to and don't live with my parents. They do however pay my phone plan and insurance on my car (both of which I've offered to take over the cost of and they've told me not to worry about it until I'm out of school).
My sister is getting married on Thursday and my mother told me I needed to get my haircut to which I told her no. She starts telling me I *have* to get my hair cut or she'll cut off my phone plan and take back the car (it's in her name).
I asked my sister and she said she couldn't care less.
So I told my mother of she wants me to get my haircut that badly she can pay for it because I'm not getting my hair cut otherwise. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
R3hiUmrT2zbTPE5EnTsyjy2w1SeOXfxb | aebxjt | {
"description": "suggesting my gf give up her dreams",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for suggesting my gf give up her dreams? | I'm dating an olympian who competed Pyeongchang last year. She didn't medal but she placed top 10 in her event. I wasn't with her at the time but she was expected to medal so it was disappointing for her. She is still training hard every day but every single day she gets home she complains about how she will be too old by the next olympics, she will not make it etc etc. We've only been dating 6 months but every single day she cries when she gets home and says she blew her only chance. I am not an athlete and quite frankly I don't work even 10% as hard as she does at anything so I don't really understand why she is stressing and putting herself in so much pain and I suggested she take it easy and maybe explore other careers if this one is causing so much distress. She didn't break up with me but she hasn't spoken to me since Monday even though we live together. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 24
} | RIGHT |
Gx4A2VrHRiw1sMUVq80OKZMC4nLQazOR | a8k3js | {
"description": "lying to my ex-husband about where our kids wanted to go for Christmas, because I didn't want them spending a week with his mistress",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 149
} | AITA for lying to my ex-husband about where our kids wanted to go for Christmas, because I didn't want them spending a week with his mistress (now wife)? | My ex and I divorced 3 years ago. In a lot of ways it's still very raw for me. He cheated on me with one of his coworkers (who worked FOR him and knew me when we were married) and I didn't find our for a year until I was humiliated at a work event when someone thought we were in an "open" relationship. Now we're divorced but my ex is living it up with his new wife (the woman he slept with) and basically only see our 2 kids twice a year. He's objectively not a good father but he has money so now he's trying to buy their love.
Last month he called me and told me that he and his woman wanted to go to Japan for Christmas with my kids who are 10 and 13 and love Japanese stuff. I was not invited. They'd play a happy little family for 2 weeks while my ex would put them up in the fanciest hotels and take them for expensive dinners. So he asked me to ask the kids what they wanted since they've spent Christmas with their grandparents (my parents) since they were babies. I honestly felt sick to my stomach. He KNOWS how much the kids love Japanese stuff with their toys and tv shows and it is SO OBVIOUSLY a ploy to get them to come and spend time with him and his barely legal wife because otherwise they wouldn't give him the time of day.
I ended up not telling the kids what their dad said, just that he wasn't going to be in the country for the holidays because he's off gallivanting with his new sidepiece. I told my ex that the kids said no to his offer and would prefer to spend Christmas in town like always. He was disappointed and didn't ask any questions but I felt like he knew he had crossed a line by asking anyways so he didn't put up a fight.
​
I recently told a good friend all this and she said I shouldn't have done it. I disagree but am open to opposing opinions if any. So am I the asshole for seeing through his manipulation and stopping it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 129,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 20,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 149
} | WRONG |
mIgKgMNVqZLvf02UXzGN5DjSqlQd9C11 | b5up4v | {
"description": "threatening to breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years because she will not tell her parents about me",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For threatening to breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years because she will not tell her parents about me? | AITI For threatening to breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years because she will not tell her parents about me?
Here are some points:
\> We got together at the backend of college.
\> She quit a good job in LA to move to Washington (where I am) about 2 years into the relationship. We live seperately but see each other frequently (4nights a week)
\> I am her first 'boyfriend'
\> She has never been open with her parents, has developed a culture of lying to them / not telling them stuff. I think her mum is very overprotective and gf does not want to now burst this baloon. I think she is making it worse the longer she waits
\> Her parents are not stupid, they know of me, and know we went on holidays together.
\> When I try to be pushy with this issue, she says its so hard for her and tears will come.
\> When I back off, she ambles along and does not seem to make any effort.
Sometimes I get fed up with this. I think about alot, as it just plays on my mind, she acts like everything is fine (deepdown probably not). But I reached the end of my tether yesterday and said she had until Easter or I cannot do this relationship anymore as its not healthy for either of us.
I get its hard for her, hell its hard for most of us tellling are parents for the first time. But I think she just has to do it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 9
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
fqE5sR6dtBBSYHcB56747UjvPHFPtXyv | a792yv | {
"description": "not donating to something I dont want to",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not donating to something I dont want to? | It's school day and everyone is collecting couple of dollars to support autistic kids. I don't want to donate since I don't believe in helping this kind of charity. I donated my self to a charity I believe in and I don't want to donate to the one my school picked.. everyone is now bothering me and saying that I don't want to help people in need. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7jakHe3qkYiOSf2cVZIvQfpGzKr3h83K | alxgih | {
"description": "not shoveling the snow and telling my landlord it's his responsibility",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for not shoveling the snow and telling my landlord it's his responsibility? | So I live in Ontario, Canada and the polar vortex caused significant snow at the place I'm renting. I live in a basement apartment w/ 5-6 people for this school semester and there are probably a similar number of people who live upstairs (Idk, I haven't really met anyone upstairs).
Basically, I was wondering if I'm the asshole for not shoveling a pathway and the sidewalk and telling my roommates that it's our landlords responsibility. Our lease has a one line sentence stating that tenants are responsible for snow removal and responsible for fines incurred for not shoveling the sidewalk. According to this blog post by a law firm [\(Link\)](https://www.sorbaralaw.com/blog/post/item/who-is-responsible-for-snow-and-ice-removal-in-a-residential-tenancy), that clause is invalid and unenforceable (without specific compensation offered for cleaning snow, which is not offered in the lease). I basically told my landlord this and he stated that our contract states that all tenants are responsible. I did so politely and simply said that the clause in the lease is not valid or enforceable, and that I don't want to shovel snow that I'm not responsible for (for free at least).
Am I being an asshole here or was I justified in telling the landlord of his responsibility to shovel the snow despite our lease saying otherwise? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
8qL6nLMoAWsb0BHqif4M4MWnAfRaHtc2 | a45sqq | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my neighbors because I think they want to fuck me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with my neighbors because I think they want to fuck me? | I’m a 22 year old woman living alone. My downstairs neighbors (only other apt in the house) are 3 young guys, late 20s. They’re nice guys, and we’ve been perfectly friendly so far. Been living there almost a year, we’ve hung out once where I just hung out in their apartment and had a beer and chilled for a couple hours.
It was perfectly pleasant hanging out with them that time (though they did kinda try to pressure me into drinking more than I’d want). I’ve seen them checking my ass out almost every time I see them, and I’m pretty sure they’re kinda into me. Which in and of itself isn’t an issue but it does make me wary of getting tooo friendly, for a couple of reasons. I’m not really afraid of getting raped by anyone, but don’t want to be in a situation where I’d have to reject anyone, because I think it would be kind of awkward living there after that. I also DONT want to hook up with any of them for the same reason and am not sure I trust myself enough with alcohol around them to make sure that doesn’t happen (I have poor self control).
In addition to that, I have social anxiety, and I also just don’t want to be on like a hanging out basis with them because I don’t want to feel pressured to hang out with someone when I’d rather just eat pizza and smoke weed in my bed. And it would be awkward saying no to hanging out when they can tell I’m just in my apartment by myself, you know?
I got invited to a game night tonight at their place downstairs.. I said I “might” be around - which means I might find someplace else to hang tonight so i don’t look like I’m just bailing because I don’t want to hang. They asked if I had any games, which I do have some they could borrow. I’m thinking I might bring those down, hang out for half an hour or so and then escape to a friends place for the night, maybe come for another half hour or so if they’re still there when I get back (probably late).
So AITA for not wanting to form a friendship with perfectly nice people for logistical reasons/anxiety? WIBTA if I just blew them off completely? Or am I just letting my anxiety get the best of me? I don’t want to make anyone feel like I don’t like them. But I already did completely bail on a big party they had - said I would come down and just laid in my bed being super anxious all night, pretty sure they knew I was there and pretty sure I disappointed them by not coming. I just don’t wanna be a dick.
TLDR don’t want to get too close to people because I don’t want awkward things to transpire. I like these people but am not looking for new friends and don’t want to reject anyone or feel obligated to hang out or have more opportunities to feel bad when I say no because I’d rather be alone. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Pcw35aoGLz8Gsx2oIFNg2nHhC1PUL1Yn | 9u877w | {
"description": "not immediately using something I did not ask for",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not immediately using something I did not ask for. | My wife and I live 300 miles away from our hometown. My mother-in-law (MIL) has this annoying a habit of inviting herself over for extended stays whenever she has time off, which lately has been every one to three months.
Not to sound like a stereotype, but her and I could not be more different, and I really do not enjoy her presence. She is impossible to entertain, criticizes everyone and every little thing, and treats any deviation from her jaded lifestyle as a personal attack on her.
But I love my wife, so I don't refuse to allow her mother to come. I do remind my wife though that I am forced to spend the most time with her (wife works nights and sleeps during the day), and it's painfully awkward and boring time.
So she has this shopping addiction and constantly buys things for us that we did not ask for. If we don't immediately use what she buys us, she gets passive-aggressive and badgers us until we do. For instance, she bought us a new curtain rod (didn't need one), and it just had to be installed right away.
At first, we would simply thank her and humor her, but in recent years, it has gotten beyond excessive. She is slowly turning our home into a hoarding situation, and we have told her multiple times to stop.
Now my wife's Aunt tries to at least make this a little better for us and tells MIL that she should buy us some outdoor tools because we haven't owned our home for very long, and we do need some stuff.
So when she comes, she buys a us a leaf blower, an edger, and a tool for trimming tree branches, all useful things, just not at this immediate instance. Not all of the leaves have fallen, and I am not going to repeat my work two weeks from now.
Now this week had kicked my ass. All I wanted to do this weekend was my own thing. I had not planned on her coming down, did not want to hang around with her, and definitely didn't want to do unnecessary yardwork for the sake of testing out something I didn't ask for.
She told me Friday night that we were going to do yardwork on Saturday. I am smart enough to know that meant I would do yardwork and she would do nothing (it's happened multiple times before). I told her that I didn't think it was necessary right now.
The next day I did my own thing like I wanted to do because I am sick and tired of feeling like I need to appease her every time she comes to my house uninvited. She didn't even say anything to me about the yard all day, but bitched to my wife when she came home that I she wanted to do yardwork, but I refused (my wife knows better).
Fast forward to this morning, she leaves earlier than usual and as she's walking out the door says to my wife, "are you ever going to use that thing?"
When she made it home, she texted my wife and said "If you aren't going to ever use that stuff, I will take it home when I come down next."
Am I the asshole?
TL;DR Mother-in-law constantly buys me stuff I don't ask for and gets upset when I don't immediately use it. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
RjWn0qhHeTqrnIVGyRJqcy5wbg5pN6kn | ak1404 | {
"description": "being frustrated and upset at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being frustrated and upset at my friend. | I called a group of friends earlier this week and set a plan to hang out on a Friday night. I got the group together, set up a time and venue. I had watch a certain movie that I really enjoyed and wanted the rest of the crew to see it. I specifically mentioned this to them and told them that was the reason I set up the get together.
On the very day of the hang out, a friend in group suggested we see a different film because he did not really like that one. I was infuriated because his concern was not mentioned earlier in the week. He suggested a second movie and I agreed hesitantly . We get to the theatre and he again changed his mind, saying we could just go home if we didn’t want the new movie he chose. This is what really pissed me off. Take it we are in our early 20s(and this is his second stunt he has pulled in this manner) and I am really trying to learn mature ways of dealing with situations. AITA for being mad? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZfPtg723X88OS6bHDQuNKAKM5GFIdKKX | aqgkdp | null | AITA told a stranger I had HIV to get out of trouble | I was at a bar with my friend L and my friend H and his boyfriend HB. We met there had a few drinks and then me and L went to the bathroom together. We were peeing in stalls next to eachither and she says to be "remember HB has HIV, just saying not sure if you knew don't drop anything on him" I responded by saying I'm not as daft as H (which is nothing I wouldn't say to H). We then started making jokes about both H and HB in a friendly mean way, one of us said if anyone if going to catch HIV while being on the preventative it's H because of his luck. I dont know if its that comment that set it off or what. But at this point a girl in the toilet starts smashing her fist on my door calling me a prick saying HIV isn't funny. I just say I know that's not what were joking about. She freaks out, L comes out the cubicle sounds like she's going to get hit so I rush out see this girl is bigger than L and in her face and i say "we're joking about my HIV I'm allowed to do that!" She looked uncomfortable and confused but backed off.
I know it's not great to lie about that. Didn't really see an alternative though. L thanked me for it said it didn't feel good to lie but the girl wouldn't have understood, she was just there for a scuff. We might sound rude when we joke to eachother but I've known H for 8 years and I would say anything to him that I would say about him. I told my flatmate later and she thinks I'm a total asshole. Am I? Not really anything to do about it and im not planning to do it again but im just curious | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
7gggmUvLQw3tPPMepubAy74jk5UC7Gly | ashyjy | null | AITA Family trip. | Every year my family rents a van , and drives to Indiana from Mississippi to see family. It's about 14 hours and at this point in my life, I'm not trying to sit in a van for a day! I smoke weed and cigs and not looking forward to sitting for HOURS! It's pointless and planes get there faster. I bought a plane ticket this year and arranged for my cousin to pick me up from the airport.
Now, my family is upset because are down to 2 drivers on a 14 hour road trip. I gave warning and enough time to make whatever arrangements they need but I'm "selfish" cause I don't wanna ride/drive across country and eat sandwiches all day. And they won't have 3 people to switch drivers. So now I'm going half on my little cousins plane ticket because my aunt said it wasn't her "bright idea" to fly in the first place.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
LuyMuadtF2gTZZjn6j4ivoksSgOjwifR | b9g2ky | {
"description": "being pissed off at my dad and little brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being pissed off at my dad and little brother? | I (M23) live at home at the moment after returning from university. I pay rent every month which goes to helping out with food and bills etc. My little brother (M21) also lives at home and does the same.
After returning from university I noticed that my dad and brother are the laziest people I know when it comes to general house tidiness. They leave shoes and amazon packaging everywhere, pubes on the bathroom floor and sink for over a week (I know it's one of them because of the hair colour), dishes beside the dishwasher, never put the bin out, piss on the toilet seat and never tidy up any spilled food.
In contrast, maybe somewhat unbelievably, I lived for 4 years at university with various flatmates and our uni flats were by far tidier than at home. Everyone cleaned up after themselves and done their own dishes etc. I'm embarrassed when my girlfriend comes over too because her house is always so tidy and her and her parents are just tidy people.
I've noticed that it is just me and my mum who always seem to be the only ones doing any household chores. My mum, at one point told us all when I was 16 that she needed more help around the house and I feel I'm the only one trying.
I've tried before to tell them to put stuff away and tidy up after themselves but I get "It's my house! I can leave things wherever I want" and constantly get shouted down. I'm at the point where I'm getting more and more stressed to the point I'm going to explode soon.
I'm moving out soon and I worry for my mum that when I do she's going to return from work every day and be burdened with all of this more than I know she already is but at the same time she also needs to speak up and make her voice heard.
​
AITA for being pissed off at them?
Any advice on how to proceed too would also be appreciated. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
KKBB9HsLfymLdsk7U7vWcFdALQP1GddA | ay6uiv | {
"description": "inviting my boyfriend to a concert with me and my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for inviting my boyfriend to a concert with me and my family? | Last week, my mom invited me to go to a concert with her this coming Friday. She had an extra ticket, and I said sure. A few days later, I asked my boyfriend, whom I live with, if he wanted to come too. Honestly, I mostly asked him because I was afraid he'd get mad that I was going out that night, which meant we'd only have Saturday night to spend together (he gets upset when we don't spend enough time together).
When I asked him, I told him the name of the band, and he said that he'd like to come. I assumed that he would look them up and buy himself a ticket, since I thought that I had made it clear that I already had a ticket with my mom.
Then, tonight, when I brought up the concert again, he got really upset that I hadn't bought a ticket for him, or told him where to buy the tickets. He thought it was really inconsiderate that I hadn't helped him out more with the whole process, and said that it was indicative of the fact that I didn't really want him there.
AITA for assuming that he'd be able to figure out how to get the tickets on his own? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
cgIDOA0VAfgp8DxUs5025giPzLwXWDIH | b8shiy | {
"description": "choosing not to move away with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for choosing not to move away with my girlfriend? | We’re both graduating this spring she said she’s applying for jobs out of state and wants me to go with her if she gets a job offer.
Problem is, my family is here, my job is here. I also have no money to move. I told her I’d consider it in a year when I have the funds but she said she wants to move this summer and I shouldn’t worry about money. She seems to think that she isn’t a priority because I’m choosing myself and my current dreams over her.
When I told her I have to follow my dreams and moving may halt that she said I need to grow up.
Maybe I do need to grow up, I don’t know. I just never dealt with something like this.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lNKwdMXV7iUxKA1Tl0rykjd3s5sMY9D1 | adyu2v | {
"description": "being annoyed when my girlfriend plays my video games",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being annoyed when my girlfriend plays my video games? | My girlfriend was never one for video games. Still isn't, really. My hobbies were always about computers and video games, and she never really understood it. The only video games she ever played were on the PlayStation 2 and Nintendo Wii systems. However, now she has gained interest ever since I finished building my computer.
It's not that I'm upset with her playing games. I think it's cool she has gained interest, what annoys me is that she will start playing a game that I've already started and will mess up to some regard in game and lose my progress because she doesn't how the game works; and, I'm sorry to say, I don't have much patients to teach people.
I've started her on new games and created new accounts for her, but she insists on playing on my accounts because I have "more things to do". I offered to build her a cheaper computer or give her my Xbox, but she refuses... stating that she doesn't like the shooting games and fighting games that I play.
She has most recently gotten into stardew valley and house flipper. Fun games IMO. Cool. Wonderful. So I walked her through the tutorial phases of those games, and basically let her have her fun. But the annoying part is having her ask every 30 seconds what she has to do next. "How do I install this sink? How do I paint this wall? How do I tile this floor? Oops I didn't want this, do i have to start over? (All things she's asked from playing the first hour of House Flipper).
Or in stardew she will complain cause she wanted both of us to play the game like we did on consol, but now that I've built my pc idk that I can play 2 player without her having a computer. So I offered to start back on my Xbox, but she doesn't want to. And then she got upset that I started a new game with another friend and we have gotten rather far, and she is mad because it was supposed to he "our game".
I love that she wants to get into what I'm into, but she doesn't really have anything of her own... I love being with her, but I wish she could take time to just enjoy something by herself. Learn something new by herself without asking me every 30 seconds how to do something. She is incredibly book smart. She does well in school, but she just doesn't grasp basic concepts in these games.
(Something that transpired while I was writing this: "Babe I can't paint the corner of the room! The bed is in the way."
Jump onto the bed - hit space bar.
*hits space bar and jumps where she is standing* "It doesn't work".
Move forward and press spacebar.
*leans over and presses W and Spacebar*
"Oh... well it didn't work before."
You didn't try it before.
*laughs* "Yeah you're right."
...this girl is nearly 20 years old. Come on.)
I know I need to learn patience, and I love her to death. But I just get annoyed easily when it's something that seems like such a simple concept becomes such a major issue for someone.
AITA for becoming upset at this? I've lost the ability to just play a game by myself basically. I just wish she was contempt with finding a hobby of her own, or at least letting me help her with getting an updated game consol or computer for her to play on. We've talked about getting a switch because it's a simpler format with games she would more enjoy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
OKNiS693f9otEP5kvqBvELr4q9S6HPy3 | axkdct | {
"description": "giving my GF an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For giving my GF an ultimatum. | Context here my GF hasn’t been talking to me about something that’s going on. She’s quiet ignoring me not really giving me her time at all. Constantly I’ve asked her what’s going on and she has reassured me it’s not me multiple times. But the fact that she doesn’t trust me to talk about it is what hurts. I just wanna help and make things better. So I said if you want be to be here and help you I’ll stay but if you can’t trust me our feel comfortable to have me help you idk if I can stay. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ex5PdbiT6NVcw6rqBCky847DXowZRwjm | aqg6nn | {
"description": "saying that the day a mother gives birth is our day",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for saying that the day a mother gives birth is our day? | So my brother is having a baby and my fiance and I were having a conversation about going into labor. I mentioned that it is our day and nobody else's. She got super upset saying that it isn't our day, that it was HER day. I was like nah it's not just your day it's both of ours. Then she goes on this rant about how the men don't do anything and how woman can give birth without men and all men are used for is sperm. Then she calls me anti feminist. Wtf? I not once said the man does more in a pregnancy than a woman. I not once said the woman has it easier or anything remotely that makes it sound like the man has equal burden of taking care of the baby into labor. She just went off on me and kept yelling at me about how I don't understand. All I wanted to say that going into labor is a shared experience. I also didn't say going into labor was 50/50 either.. ofc she gotta do more while she's in labor than any male could. Jesus tell me IATA so I can go apologize. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
v744txLKrSLC6qisHbD2FRo8zzHHVEZk | aykb9b | {
"description": "wanting my partner to cut communication with a specific person",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my partner to cut communication with a specific person | My partner emotionally cheated on me with a person they work with, they are currently still friends but have ceased all flirting and talk along those lines.
Every so often they will come back up in conversation and it resets the pain and anxiety all over again.
Am I the asshole for wanting my partner to cut communication with this person so i can have peace of mind? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
O6TUZuY6XNKVQBh0MKiUrCjFE1X29hOz | atq0y1 | {
"description": "making my friends feel uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for making my friends feel uncomfortable? | I'm having a sleepover right now and we were really bored after some hours, so we talked about what we can do. Someone said to go on omegle (some kind of site where you can videochat with strangers) and others agreed. I didn't because there you will see 60% dicks, 39% horny old men who are looking for young girls and 1% nice ppl.
They went on omegle anyway. Honestly, it was really boring to watch them say "hello sup ok next to another person" or sometimes a longer conversation but still boring.
It continued for 2 hours and I had enough of that shit so I went in my other room to watch some netflix. After they laughed with someone they decided to come to me to see what I'm doing and if I'm okay. I told them to do whatever they want because this night is already ruined and boring. (honestly it sounds like we re 13yo) and that I'm not really mad at them.
Now I'm just waiting for the morning for them to leave... it's annoying because i could've spend the night in my own room where i feel comfortable and not angry.
I dont know if its my fault so I could use some help.... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
ett6LBvsx4yAPm9eC1M6miy1pTCh8u0k | aejsfo | {
"description": "sending my ex-girlfriends nude that she send unsolicited after our breakup to my friends",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 139
} | AITA for sending my ex-girlfriends nude that she send unsolicited after our breakup to my friends. | So me and my ex-girlfriend were together for nearly ten years (met when we were in school). A year ago found out that she had been cheating on me throughout the entire relationship with other guys. I was massively affected by it and went on downwards spiral of depression and my confidence was basically destroyed. I was like this for about 6 months, then met this wonderful girl who bought me back to a normal state. Six months into this relationship and ex found about us and decided to send me her nudes and captioned it saying ‘Here are the photos you asked me for’. I instantly told my girlfriend this and she thankful believed me ( ex has in the past asked to get together with me) that it was false and her intention was to break us apart.
Few days later, I was at a mutual friend party and my ex was there and I decided to send the photos to two of my close friends at the party and basically made fun of the photo. No one else apart from the three of us saw it. We didn’t make fun of her directly but it was obvious that it was aimed that her.
When my girlfriend found about it, she was angry(?) with me. In my mind what I did was justified, as my ex deserved it for trying to break us apart. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 98,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 41,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 139
} | WRONG |
aDFUkF2mybZlyjwjnMWG2Y73uqc6sXoT | akrs4k | {
"description": "taking my seat back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for taking my seat back? | I’m in highschool And today I was taking a test in my math class. I’ve been sitting in the very back in a slightly larger desk to charge my phone. I’ve been sitting there for about 2 weeks and no one has had an issue. But today, I showed up a little later than usual and saw a guy took my seat. I went up and asked if I could sit there cause I always do and want to charge my phone. He said no and i was like alright. So I sat somewhere else, during the test he kept talking and was eventually moved to the front. After I finished my test, I went back and sat there as he was already sitting in the front like the teacher said. After he finished he glared at me and walked by the desk and called me an asshole. In irritation, I said “thanks” and that was that. Am I the asshole for taking my seat back? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
yDckfHbqUOnlFxaVhKAUCppcOosIiGXX | aufr7e | {
"description": "asking for a gift from my brother, for organizing and dealing with insurance and appointment scheduling for his health condition",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked for a gift from my brother, for organizing and dealing with insurance and appointment scheduling for his health condition? | My brother has been sick for a few months, and recently asked for my help managing the beurocratic side of things, because with his pain he just didn't have the energy.
I've put a lot of time and energy into lining him up with decent care providers, and dealing with insurance to make sure the services are covered. He has a long road ahead of him, but the doctors are paying off and he is feeling better. He's offered multiple times to pay me for my time, but I know that he has this massive, internalized guilt from our shitty childhood, over feeling like a burden. Its important to me that he knows HE doesn't get to decide when he's a burden on me. Only I get to decide that for myself.
So I keep refusing payment because a) the burden thing, b) he's my brother and I really don't feel like he owes me anything, and c) even though he's volunteering it, it still feels way too much like extorting a sick person for money. The last time he brought it up, I kinda laughed it off, and said he should just get me something nice for Christmas if he felt like it.
HOWEVER my husband and I are saving for some pretty big life expenses, coming up, and as a result have zero budget for fun, frivolous things. I'm a fountain pen enthusiast, and just found out that a pen I LOVE, that I thought I couldn't buy in the US, can in fact he purchased and shipped to me from a website I just learned about. I want this pen like no other, but absolutely cannot justify spending the roughly $60 (after shipping and taxes). WIBTA for asking my brother to get it for me? I have zero intention of asking for anything else, M- also has a passing interest in fancy pens and wouldn't think it was weird, and I'd be absolutely fine with not getting more than a card or phone call for my birthday/Christmas (we usually spend $30-$60 on each other for each, depending on what games or books the other likes that are out at the time).
I'm wrestling with my own feelings of selfishness and guilt, and would really appreciate judgements from other folks. Am I being to hard on myself, or am I being a frivolous, materialistic asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0EMQuU7h7WmMnL7dNtfjKCSB6ePUXMGF | awogi0 | {
"description": "enforcing rent on jobless roommate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for enforcing rent on jobless roommate? | Some context for our situation, first.
In total, there are five of us living in this three bedroom house. One of us \[M27\] inherited a house after his grandmother passed away, and it has been him and his boyfriend \[M26\]. Myself \[F28\]. Another friend in the third bedroom \[M28\]. The fifth among us \[M28\] is a long time friend, someone we care about a great deal. The circumstances of the fifth coming to us was due to difficulty at his parent's where he had been living. He is a very good friend of ours, and we take care of our own. This was in October.
​
Because he didn't have a job, and his money was thin, we didn't ask that he pay rent at first. He stayed on our couch and did dishes for us in return. However, after awhile, the houseowner and his boyfriend started having to buy his food. I usually ate out every night on my own, so the houseowner and his boyfriend paid for most of his food/groceries.
​
We assumed that he would get a job. But time passed, and at the end of January or beginning of February, the house owner eventually told him that he needed to start paying rent like the rest of us beginning March, and to start helping on utilities.
​
He got into gear for looking for jobs, and applied everywhere he could after we gave him the deadline. Houseowner and I work at the same place, and we managed to get him an interview there. I drove him to the interview where he wore jeans and a T-shirt, so I had to stop buy him a polo so he'd look presentable. Our manager liked him, but his job history was a stopper on the hiring process going forward, sadly. He had trouble getting other interviews after. I know how hard the job market is, but he's been unemployed for a couple years now. He applied to other places, but the interview I had to buy clothes for him was the only real prospect I am aware of.
​
Yesterday, I brought rent up. I asked if he had the March rent. He said no, that the job market had been hard. I told him that I understood, and gave him to the 5th. I said utilities were due around the 15th. He replied with, "I'll start packing my things." When we all got home, his stuff was gone. We drove by his parents and saw his car there, so we know he's not just sleeping homeless in his car.
​
I feel like an asshole for enforcing the deadline, KNOWING that he hadn't managed to find a job. But also I feel justified in enforcing it because he 1.) had a month notice and 2) had five months of living with us where he could have gotten a job. I feel horrible because he is our very good friend, but also we sort of feel like we were taken advantage of?
​
TL;DR: unemployed roommate lives with us for five months, but does the dishes for us as a thanks. But when unable to meet rent payment deadline we felt forced to set with a month's notice, he vacated the house back to the place he had to leave in the first place. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1btHwK90WbQ50rWlBPMMsDX3YvxqG9zQ | afsy7a | {
"description": "letting my friend lose a game because he stole my finals and bed break",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for letting my friend lose a game because he stole my finals and bed break? | This happened pretty recently, and me and my friend don't have any hard feelings about it so don't worry about that.
On occasion, I'll play on Hypixel (Minecraft. Don't judge me) Bed Wars with my friend in a discord call.
For those who don't know, here's a quick recap of Bed Wars:
In this mode, there are 16 players all in teams of 2. Each team spawns on a small starting island surrounding a much larger one containing materials for really powerful items. Each team has a bed that they have to protect. If you die normally, you respawn. But if your bed is broken, then you die for good and lose the game. The objective is to break all the other team's beds and finish them off.
Me and my friend hopped into the game and started like normal. After getting some blocks, I decided to rush to team to our left while he (my friend) put blocks over the bed. However, while I'm bridging over to the other team's island, he decides to follow me, rather than doing ANYTHING else that could POSSIBLY be more useful for us. (e.g Protecting the bed more, collecting more materials, etc)
All this time, I'm repeatedly telling him to stop following me, and that he's not doing anything useful.
When I've almost bridged all the way, he jumps the gap and breaks the other team's bed before I even have the chance. Even worse, I fought the other team members, and got them both low on HP. (One of them had about 2 hearts, the other about 6) But after letting me 1v2 this entire team, he swoops in, instantly kills the guy with 2 hearts, and then easily beats the guy with 6 hearts. (He had full HP)
At this point, I'm fucking pissed. He's literally taken everything I hoped to get by bridging over. Through all of this, he's taken all credit for the bed break and final kills. (A final is a kill on a player that has no bed) Keep in mind, I wasn't trying to boost my final kill or bed break stats by doing that. I was trying to gain experience to level up.
So, I rage quit.
I left the game, left the discord call, and I can only assume he lost that game, considering I saw him playing No Man's Sky on discord a few minutes later.
Am I the asshole for letting him lose the game because of some in game points?
TL;DR Friend stole my bed break and final kills, and I made him lose the game. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
nWWzlMAUqlc9INdvehj6CAN8rkrvBog2 | as2tpu | {
"description": "refusing to be friends or in a relationship with anyone who has BPD even if it is currently controlled",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for refusing to be friends or in a relationship with anyone who has BPD even if it is currently controlled? | I have worked with someone who had BPD. We never got along. She was not treated at the beginning, but then did go on to seek treatment once she figured out that she needed help. The therapy did help and it was a huge difference. Still, being around her felt exhausting and confusing sometimes. Were we good? Was there a problem? I never really knew. She confided in me that while medicine was helping and therapy was helping, it was exhausting on her part that it would always need monitoring and could need changing around. This is not a curable condition. This is lifelong. I do not ever want to go through the drama, the back and forth, and the oversharing that happened with her again. I do not want to be put through the emotional ringer every time someone I care about tries to commit suicide or have suicidal gestures. I do not have the emotional energy to be a friend and confidant for someone who is unstable and will be for many times in the future.
As such, if I ever hear that someone has a personality disorder, in particular BPD, I will not pursue any sort of relationship of any sort with them. I won’t be a jerk, but won’t invite them for coffee either. The thing is I’m sure I’ve run into people who have it and haven’t told me... because their treatment is working. AITA for categorically refusing to be friends if they have a certain type of chronic mental illness even if they are currently stable? Should I give them a chance? Can you actually maintain stability with BPD and be symptom and black and white thinking free? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
lchNPFzGaUeST6WDRfPeC9seMt1jDHco | b6w72b | {
"description": "spoiling my niece and nephew",
"pronormative_score": 46,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for spoiling my niece and nephew? | Posting on mobile
I’m single, in my 30s and in a good place financially. I own houses, cars and i have a steady source of income. I have no loans or debts of any kind.
My brother has 2 kids [10M and 8F] that I love more than anything. Since I have nothing and no one to spend my money on, I spoil them. I buy them expensive stuff like iPhones, iPads, iMacs, branded clothing, and mountains of toys. I take them on holiday all the time. Next summer I’m bringing them to Paris because they want to see the Eiffel Tower.
it’s been brought to my attention that my sister in-law’s parents have a big problem with this. They’re both retired teachers who live very simple lives. It’s their opinion that what I’m doing will make their grandkids into lazy spoiled brats in the future. My nephew told me their grandparents would sometimes say not so nice things about me.
I want to mention that my brother and his wife have absolutely no problem with what I’m doing. They have never told me to stop. They’re very strict parents so despite me spoiling the kids, they’re not brats. Both of them are polite, respectful, good students and overall really great kids.
So, AITA if for spoiling my niece and nephew?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 44,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 46,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3yVeGRjW3pTblWOZ9AZBPF7DcAORrhO0 | b573o1 | {
"description": "not being too thrilled about my gf \"reconnecting\" with an old friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not being too thrilled about my gf "reconnecting" with an old friend? | For context she's 24, I'm 26 and we've been dating for 3 years. About 2 weeks ago this guy (let's call him A) she used to be friends with in middle school hit her up on facebook saying he's going to be in our city for a week and would love to meet and catch up and everything. They were good friends till sometime in high school when he moved away and they gradually fell out of touch. Which is totally fine, nothing wrong with that.
They were originally planning to meet alone till he found out she has a boyfriend and insisted she bring me along saying he wants to meet me too. Anyways we meet and wtf, this guy is incredibly good looking. Like tall, strong jawline, body of one of those guys from fitness magazines kind of good looking. A bit surprising (mainly cus of what she'd told me about him - when they knew each other he was a fat, awkward kid with a funny accent), but again totally fine. Very nice guy, very respectful (not making moves or anything), but I don't know if I could say the same for the gf. Like I said we've been dating for some time so I know her pretty well, and she *very clearly* had the hots for this guy, she'd practically have a "f\*\*\* me" face on every time he'd say something to her. Honestly that part kind of hurt because while I know she's attracted to me and our sex life is good, I've never seen her look at me with that kind of lust... To make things worse since that first day we hung out with him she keeps talking about him, I haven't said anything about it cus I know she'll just play it off saying I'm overreacting but yeah, not great.
He's leaving in a few days so this won't be a problem anymore, but she's said she wants to hang out with him again before he goes... and this time without me. Her justification for it seems to be that I'll get bored + she felt they couldn't catch up very well last time because he was being polite and trying to include me in the conversations so they couldn't really progress past small talk. But just the thought of her going out with him alone, knowing her attraction for him just doesnt sit right with me
​
Am I overreacting here? Or is this legitimate reason to worry? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
1YUldy05mLRXHpifBchCJx6fQpoIuQfF | ayjaik | {
"description": "going out instead of spending time w my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I went out instead of spent time w my family? | im on spring break right now and i just got over the flu after spending 4 days dead in my bed at school and then calling off my spring break plans and somehow making the flight home for spring break
i went out with my extended family sunday despite not feeling so good, but since im so behind on my work due to be sick and my mom works 9-5 M-F ive spent most of my time studying. i went out for 3 hours tuesday and thats it.
i leave monday and plan to spend all of sunday with my extended family. tomorrow im busy 9-3, and even tho my mom wants me to come out to my sisters baseball game tomorrow i want to stay home after my errands/doctors apts & do this project. then ill go out with them sat morning to the green market, go out sat night, and then hang out w fam sunday. i might also go out friday night instead and do the project sat
my mom always makes me feel so shitty when i go out like this towards the end of my break. would it make my the asshole if i went out anyways and only spent one day w my family? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OwRhguHWvEWTVMDULwkHeLDM6ueLLGkD | ag59qc | {
"description": "not picking up my friends quarter as a joke",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not picking up my friends quarter as a joke? | Me and my friends were sitting at lunch, and one of them dropped a quarter and it rolled to my feet. She says "can you get me my quarter?"
We all tease and intentionally bug one another, and I noticed she didn't say please, so I decided to stare at her with a mockingly dumbfounded look.
She turned sour pretty quick and continued with "grab me my motherfucking quarter" or something along those lines. She sounded pretty serious, but she ALWAYS does, and she does joke around a lot aswell. So I just laugh and say "can you say please?" And some people at the table jokingly back me up with things like, "stand your ground!"
She adamantly refuses to say please, so I kick the quarter a bit farther back, just to bug her a little more. Then everyone at the table seems to turn on me and call me an asshole until someone else grabs the quarter.
I thought it was a joke, but looking back everyone seemed genuinely annoyed with me. I tried to brush it off but it's been eating away at me, and I just need to know, AITA?
(this isn't as deep or asshole-y as other things i've seen on this sub, i just really wanna know)
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
qbSPB960MrhcYPmRFBFfKdhGl7ku2GSg | a8dj05 | {
"description": "cutting loose my best friend for being manipulative to people I know",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for cutting loose my best friend for being manipulative to people i know? | Hey i dont wanna put in too many details (gender,age,names) because im afraid people i know will find this,this is a throwaway account.
Okay it all started when me and Keith (not a real name) were chilling outside on our phones and he out of no where said he hates James so much (not a real name) then he went on to go in details that didnt really add up,then he said the same thing about a few other kids i know and he said he could even stand them i kinda changed the subject because i didnt really mind.
Fast forward to the day after and i see him joking around and spending time WITH THE SAME KIDS HE SAID HE COULDNT STAND and i was very confused,i didnt tell them and didnt mention it but i thought he just did it for the attention.He was very disgusting towards me the rest of the day and i just went home confused and mad,very mad i didnt think he would do that to me all of the sudden and i play video games with other friends and he called me and asked me to play with him a game that i hated and he knew i hated it so the answer was straight up no,and he called me an asshole i told him he can go fuck himself and that im not his friend anymore he then went on to ask me why and i told him he is a selfish manipulative piece of shit which he replied to how come,i told him about how he said he hated some kids behind their backs and then spent time with them the next day he said that im lying and i just hung up.
Now im posting this here because i think i may have needed to mind my own business and probably shouldnt have came off so angry and maybe i shouldnt have cut him loose im still very confused about the situation and part of cutting him loose is that im afraid he would do the same thing to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
R2dFuMwYqtkXp03Mxw532ZMe6ZZaDHcH | a5ktra | {
"description": "yelling at my sons",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for yelling at my sons? | I have two boys aged 8 and 10.
Yesterday I got a call from the school, I was told that my 10 year old was being put in detention for giving a kid a black eye. The situation was that the other boy was picking on my 8 year old, so he decided to punch him to defend his brother.
I obviously don't want my children being bullied, but I was furious at how he handled the situation. I did not bring him up to resolve conflicts with violence. I yelled at him asking why he would ever do such a thing, and when my 8 year old said I was being unfair I ended up yelling at him too. They were both sent to their room. I admit I did it out of anger, but I do believe it was justified punishment. Am I wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
sJVZpxykjenWKcrJ5LaQDqFY1T6EhZD0 | autj58 | {
"description": "getting upset at a choir member",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset at a choir member | I sing in a choir at university. So there is this person sitting next to me who really annoys me. He gets up and down. he doesn't follow the directors instructions. He talks when we should be singing. He is on his phone all the time. So I do not like him. I have essentially stopped paying attention to him to try and ignore him. I will speak if he asks a question but be short about it. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
89BAZ4FHvK5Al8H8gtqQqCEpWuS9OBO3 | ank2wt | {
"description": "wanting to take my daughter away from my brother when I move out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to take my daughter away from my brother when I move out? | I (18f) had my daughter right after I turned 14. I was in a really dark place. I lost both of my parents at 11, started hurting myself at 12, and my 13 I had anorexia and my periods had stopped, explaining why I didn't think I would get pregnant (as well as some teenage stupidity). Because of these circumstances, I moved in with my brother (28m now) and he financially supported me completely and my daughter (her dad has never been interested but her paternal grandparents do see her often). My brother owns a small business and I helped him out with social media/marketing when I could, as well as cooking.
However, my brother fully insisted I go back to school right after having the baby, because I was just starting my GCSEs. I accepted and because he was working from home most of the time, he looked after the baby. Obviously this made him bond with her significantly. When I got home every day I would take over again. During this time I was also recovering from my eating disorder and other mental health issues. My daughter was born prematurely and needed some extra help, so I really did appreciate everything my brother did to help me and I've always done my best to show him that I'm grateful.
After finishing school at 16, he again insisted I go back to school to do my A Levels so I could apply to university and basically, in his words, "not let having a baby so young ruin my life". I agreed after some persuasion and started sixth form, and our arrangement continued but I had free periods that I could come home early from or go in late for, so I got the chance to help out more.
Now, I'm 18 and applying to uni. My daughter has started school recently so my brother gets more time to himself. Now that I have applied to uni, I'm planning on moving out with my daughter into a small apartment with a couple of my friends, who are a couple and also have a baby, and my boyfriend. I expected my brother would be happy because his business is getting bigger and this gives him chance to work more. However when I told him, he was distraught, saying that he thinks of her like his own daughter and can't stand the idea of being away from her (the uni I'm planning on going to is a 40 minute drive away - not far but not close enough to see her every day - also her school is halfway between, so she won't have to move school). I understood but I don't know what he wants me to do. She is my daughter and I want her to be with me, especially now that I am able to take care of her, but I understand that my brother has more money than me and she is used to living in that place. I don't know what to do.
I want to clarify that I do have enough money to look after her and I am a capable mother, but I know my brother could do just as good of a job. I'm not really considering leaving her with him, but I want to know if it makes me an asshole to not. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dTFCm8LqoZCQOb3XxSoc0xXhiSftd3Cd | avwboa | {
"description": "being upset with my gf for constantly bringing up ex and their sex life",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset with my GF for constantly bringing up ex and their sex life. | Its too the point where she constantly brings it up if we simply pass a place they had sex. She talks about how bad he was and how much she hates him quite often too. Which I view as her not really being over him and quite honestly a childish perspective to have such hate for something that just simply wasnt meant to be. Then again I may be childish here too. Now I cant really get the thought of them fucking everywhere around me out of the back of my head and im honestly questioning the relationship due to it. I brought it up to which she said sorry. I know she said sorry but its honestly difficult for me to move past it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ULKqjgfY6O1vUIAnvDgZSQpUT19Pi6w7 | alm77t | null | AITA If my cat prefers me over my roommate for no reason? | My cat Loki was adopted at a month old and he was already fixed. Ever since he’s been living with me and my roommate, he’s been my favorite out of two cats. The older one is more timid and very cautious while Loki is just relaxed and I tended to all his needs as much as the other’s. He was just naturally more cuddly than his “sister”. He follows me into the bathroom to shower and even my bedroom to sleep. My roommate cannot stand our relationship. Saying he’s too cottled and me having him around and on me is bad for my mental heath and codependency. Says I treat him differently than the other and don’t punish him correctly when he does something wrong I.e. yelling and coning him or putting a vest on him for as long as the other cat. And yet, even if I were to, my cat is afraid of my roommate rather than me. He blames me for the way my cats think of him saying that I undermine him when he’s touching them or anything like that. He claims he plays with them and yes, we both feed them but I’m the only one that cleans the cat box because I feel like it’s not his job to do so. I’m not sure what’s so wrong when some cats are the cuddly type or they have a favorite person. What’re your thoughts? Am I babying my cat Loki too much or is my roommate in the wrong for judging my cat’s views on him? (Keep in mind, he never raised a hand to my cats. That I know of) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9hYcDdPeuikBOqEV0tWBpbs9LEGWAvfE | awm25j | {
"description": "getting mad at my friend for drivingph in aph zone on a snowy road",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad at my friend for driving 90mph in a 75mph zone on a snowy road? | US. Throwaway. It snowed heavily last night and when we were on the interstate this morning there was still a lot of slush. On unplowed neighborhood roads, there was a lot of snow and it took him a lot longer to stop than he expected. Like, he ended up in the middle of the intersection on a four way stop (fortunately no other cars around)
It's pretty well known in my group that I have anxiety about cars and traffic. In these road conditions, we could see cars that had slipped on turns and ended up in the middle of the opposing lane and stuff, so I was already concerned and on edge. Visibility was poor.
I really try not to overly backseat drive, but I saw that we were whizzing past cars in the right lane (did you know that cars going significantly different speeds is a leading cause of fatal accidents?) and I glanced at the speedometer (I was in the seat behind him, not the passengers seat) and found that he was going just over 90mph. In those conditions. Very illegal, very dangerous.
"You have to slow down," I said.
He said something about it not being a big deal, so I just said, "fine, I'll just be quiet then." And silently stewed in my panic the rest of the way. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LCgozNZb85l7UoFCWmnjVOMeMtcXzLqI | ahmue3 | {
"description": "telling my friend off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my friend off? | Alright, here’s the long story short: this friend of mine insulted my other friends, who he has literally never talked to (called them sluts and other stuff) as well as insulted me (calling me “ugly” which personally I don’t really care for, just thought to include it). Of course, I found this really rude but didn’t tell him off until later.
But the reason I’m wondering if I’m the asshole is because of the following reasons:
-I called him “fat” and “ugly” back (what else was I supposed to do?)
-He apparently has trouble being social. According to his mom, he doesn’t know how to properly have friends and has only hung out with his older cousins. From that, he only knows how to insult and complain. At least, that’s coming from his mom. He seems REAL social at school.
But I told him off for it real harsh. AITA for telling him off?
tl;dr:
Anti-social friend with people issues insulted my other friends and I got mad at him for it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
IokexfBV7UHZXjEG5kF7HfC1RajWBQCo | asbs73 | null | AITA Kicked my baby bro out when he was 16 and he wont get past it | I saw a similar post which reminded me of my brother.
I took him in when he was 14. I was like 23 I think. I was barely getting by but I figured hes younger than me so I cant be complaining.
The entire time my family was telling me to disown him and focus on my life(he had already lived with them and irreparably burned his bridges). I was like "I cant abandon my fucking brother".
So from the moment he moved in i told him a list of his responsibilities. I made him cook and we had tv time "where he picked a movie and we watched it. He had to go to school and work part time in a clothes factory(sweeping and stuff) and I never took his money. And he had to get good grades and apply for a program where he attends college courses while I high school.
He is naturally good looking (the best out of all of us just a fatass) and we let him know it but he still complained. So I told him "do something about it first then complain". I took him running every morning (it was exhausting for me to take him running as well as get home from working overtime and still have to check his homework). I beat his ass when it was needed and I did talk out his problems and stuff. But eventually it went more like this:
him: "i cant talk to girls cause they just see me as a fat dude AMD dont even want to look at me"
me: "change into your sweatpants and meet me outside in 5 mins "
After a few months, my family wanted us visit so we went and they didnt even recognize him. He lost at least 30 lbs and I made him shower regularly and basic shit like that.
When he was 16 years old, I found out that he had been wasting his and stealing my money to buy donuts and he was intentionally not handing in his homework as "protest" to me, I put all his shit in garbage bags and threw him on the street.
I honestly had no idea where he was gonna go but he ended up going to his fathers house(a fuck up himself and he eventually kicked him out). Then he went to california where my middle brother was stationed (I took him in a couple of years before that and threw him out when he was 18. He went to the army ).
Anyways, I miss my baby bro and wish he could chill and get his shit together and come hang out with us but he still my brother and I cause we kicked him out. I think he wants us to apologize but I dont think I did anything wrong. Should I?
Hes barely getting by btw. For all the opportunities he had, hes living in the house that I bought for my mom and he doesnt know but the reason I'm selling it is so he can get the the fuck out. So like, I'm basically doing the same thing i did to him a few years ago but I'm being low key about it. He doesnt pay rent or help with mortgage or bills. Just lives there in a mess.
Should I apologize for him trying my patience or maybe just apologize to keep him close? I feel that it wont matter cause if literally going into debt and stopping the trajectory of my life didnt do anything to change him, what's a bullshit apology gonna do? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 22
} | WRONG |
4oQ7Pz70bPFPDmg3fYNyHCE5KRFdEeEl | awsvwk | {
"description": "suggesting that is would be acceptable for my wife to agree for a photographer to use some faceless erotic photos she has done of her in her portfolio",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for suggesting that is would be acceptable for my wife to agree for a photographer to use some faceless erotic photos she has done of her in her portfolio | Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
As a birthday present to myself, my wife has made an erotic photoshoot, professionally done, as she knew that I would like to have some such photos for myself. This was a very hard thing for her to do, as she is a very private person in this regard, but the photos are amazing and my wife is absolutely gorgeous on them.
Yesterday night, as we were looking through the photos, she mentioned that the photographer asked her again whether she could add some of those photos to her portfolio (my wife has initially asked the photographer to not use her photos for portfolio).
I have suggested that perhaps, she could allow the photographer to use some of the faceless photos, where her head and face are not visible. In some of those faceless photos, she is only wearing panties and is topless.
My wife became very angry with me, and still is, and said that if I am prepared to share photos of her body all over the interned, I do not deserve to have such photos at all. I however see things differently. Firstly the photos are anonymous and they would be in a portfolio of a photographer, and with the abundance of erotic and porn on the interned, I very much doubt that these photos would be used for much else, than to be viewed by prospective clients, and again with them being completely anonymous I would no be too phased (despite being quite a jealous person normally).
Is my way of thinking wring and am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9HMBp8Um8XBnNh50Q5XB6bl0QuWwrOp3 | a7ywgo | {
"description": "throwing away my kids school homework/projects/other items",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for throwing away my kids school homework/projects/other items? | Hello. I have 3 young kids, 2 in elementary school and the other in a learning center day care. They all bring home so much paper. Homework that's been finished, scored worksheets, pictures they drew or colored. Now with the holiday season it's a barrage of snowmen, santas, you name it.
Me, I am clean/clutter freak. I hate having the house the mess. These items just get piled up on the counter, some of them make their way to the fridge like any other family. But for the most part I usually just place them on the counter and it starts to pile up. AITA for just throwing these things away? If you ask my daughter she'll ask me, "Dad why do you throw all of our stuff away?" And I say it's because it's just so much clutter that I don't know where else to put it.
If I am the A-hole can you tell me what you do to eliminate the clutter but still hold on to the kids special projects?
Thanks. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
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