id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
txUndE4aYRzyKm4rJDswydrNdbvJcMux | aur1wi | {
"description": "making a deal about my ex-girlfriend coming to my sister's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | WIBTA for making a deal about my ex-girlfriend coming to my sister's wedding? | Some backstory: I dated a girl back in 2016, let's call her A. We lived together fairly early on, and shared an apartment with my sister and her girlfriend. My sister and A got along well, but as far as I knew weren't best friends. Generally, my relationship with A was rocky. I had just come out as lesbian and this was my first actual relationship with a woman. Looking back, I realize that I was so excited to explore my newfound sexuality that I settled for the first woman that seemed interested in me, and that was definitely wrong of me to do. We moved in together out of necessity (her mother, who she previously lived with, skipped town and left her homeless). I went to school and had a job and it seemed like she didn't want to much other than watch TV, play video games, and stay at home. I felt like I had more of a lazy friend than a girlfriend. It isn't a relationship I look back on fondly. After about 9 or so months together, I decided it wasn't the relationship for me, I wasn't happy in the slightest, and it wasn't going to work out. I broke up with her, and she moved out of the apartment and to a different city about 2.5 hrs away. She would text me occasionally, making sure I definitely wanted to break up. I definitely did. Eventually, I blocked her. I thought that was that.
Fast forward to a couple months ago. I get a message from my sister asking if my current girlfriend and I would come to a 20-person surprise party she was planning on throwing for her fiancee in March. I say of course, count us in. After all is said and done, I get another message: "Don't h8 me but A is invited too". I was a little blindsided by this message, as I wasn't really aware that they were still in contact after A and I's relationship was over. I replied "If you want her there, that's your decision. But my decision is that I'm not comfortable going if she goes. It makes me uncomfortable, and it's a weird situation altogether for both me and J (my current girlfriend)."
Now, I didn't mind not going to this surprise party. However, she then told me that I was going to have to get over it, because A is coming to her wedding (happening this summer) as well. The wedding is also going to be small, about 50 people so they can convey an "intimate feel". I feel I'm put in a bad predicament here. On one hand, I don't want to upset my sister and demand that she change her guest list so that I can feel comfortable. But, I want to be able to have fun. I also don't want to cause any sort of drama with my current girlfriend.
​
So, WIBTA for making a deal about my ex-girlfriend coming to my sister's wedding?
​
If any extra info is needed, lemme know. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
aBpkRjKMiqJrzRltDtbJ802BjXvG6356 | av3bmy | {
"description": "not talking much to a friend I was interested in",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if i dont talk much to a friend i was interested in? | I mean we were flirting, but she explicitly said that she is not or will ever see me as such. Like, she still is and would remain a good friend of my mine, but since the rejection, i have been backing off. Its also like, she talks to me about her crush and stuff and it doesnt pain, but still feels wrong to me. If i dont message her as earlier she gets pissy. I mean i can continue our friendship, but i dont feel i can invest that much energu or time as i did earlier.
Wibta if i kind of backtrach a little and invest my energy in other things? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GYjf3o0582fd9wF8Teccqz05rekMuJgi | aef107 | {
"description": "instructing my so to avoid taking a jeepney and take a short walk home and instead take a tricycle straight home because there is a serial killer walking around in her area",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for instructing my SO to avoid taking a jeepney and take a short walk home and instead take a tricycle straight home because there is a serial killer walking around in her area? | As you can guess with the jeepneys and tricycle, I'm from the philippines. There is currently a serial killer freely walking around our city and most of the killings happened in my SO's area. I want her to go straight home from school which will cause a bit more money than having to take a jeepney and take a short walk. Not just she prefers the latter, she aggressively insists it. However, the situation is more subjective and personal than you guys might think. It is currently exam day and I wasn't able to attend due to my sickness. This had an impact on her, as we were supposed to help each other before the exam and the company of me being there would have been great to her. We discussed how she would go home through text. She got mad at me for a lot of things and for the difficult situation she's faced to, with me not being there and all. But it was mainly because I kept insisting her to go straight home through riding a tricycle which will cause a little more money as compared to taking a jeepney with her friends and take a short walk alone. I think that she behaved that way because she has plans to spend her money on me for a different occasion but I'm not entirely certain. I behaved that way because a decent number of killings happened in her area. I want her to be safe. With me insisting she should take the safer way home, we got into an arguement. She told me that I don't trust her enough and that I assumed the worst case scenario would happen, which is her becoming a victim of the killer. I told her to think about if we switched places. She didn't take that very good. Me comparing her to me backfired. She kept telling me she'd wanna die of an accident or something just to stop me from "assuming the worst case scenario to happen" which i didnt assume at all. This made me more inclined to have it her way, but I really just want her to be safe. She's more troubled than I might be able to express in this post as she is faced to an undesirable situation. In the last part of our fights, she tells me that I am way too controlling and she wants to end the relationship, despite me submitting to her decision to take the jeepney and admitting that I was too controlling.
Making this post for me is more like getting the load off my chest rather than asking AITA, but I would appreciate any opinions. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lXnkpV4DJ2DXW9CZGB8vx5EJWopGr55I | ahg8d6 | {
"description": "not apologising to my best friend about disrespecting is dead mom",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA: For not apologising to my best friend about disrespecting is dead Mom. | So for some context about the friend, let’s name him Luke (obviously that’s not his real name). He was about 12 yo when his mum died from breast cancer in 2011. And he has opened up to me many times about this over the last couple of years
A little context on me now, I have a twin sister that went to the same school as me and often I was bullied at school and a common subject that would come up was that I fancied my sister (which obviously wasn’t true) and other shit that often really pissed me off.
(Btw, I’m not comparing my situation to his I’m just providing background)
Cut to 2017 and it was the last year of school. We were fairly close friends with very similar friends but recently I had introduced him to some new friends of mine that went to another school. This new friends obviously didn’t know Luke very well but they got along.
One night I was on discord with Luke and one of my new friends. Luke was chatting shit about me and my sister and I had had enough saying how I could really piss him off but I wouldn’t say it cause it was too mean. So I pmed the new friend saying that what I would say would be chatting shit about his mum. But of course I would never say that because it would completely undo the friendship with him as it is a very sensitive subject for him.
Luke starts dared me to say what I was going to say, calling me a pussy and shit. After I few seconds the new friend says “He was going to say something about your Mum.”
Immediately, Luke leave the discord and starts messaging me saying, “wtf is wrong with you” and “I’m going to tell everybody that you love shoving spoons up your ass” (seriously, that what he threatened me with). So i try to explain what actually happened, how I never actually said anything.
He starts messaging my new and old friends saying how I love shoving spoons up my ass. Naturally I get pissed off and unfriend him on Facebook and other social medias.
I’ve again to message my mate Liam (fake name) and I tell him what’s happened and that it’s pissed me off and I sent him this video https://youtu.be/S-eBHDT9fI4 saying “can you imagine if I sent this to him”, (which obviously didn’t send).
That weekend my mate Liam had a small house party with a few of our mates and he invite me and Luke, I say I can’t go and Luke ends up going and stays the night . Luke ends up reading Liam’s messages I send him and presumably sees the video. I guess this enraged him cause he made sure that the last month or so of school was shit for me.
He made a lot of my friends turn on me and he would start chatting shit to me at school and in return I would talk to him in the most condescending, passive aggressive tone that really pissed him off.
Now in saying all this, I wanted us to be friends or at least acquaintances by the end of the year but that proved not possible as he wasn’t willing to talk about it, it was only only until we were completely wasted that we could talk about it but it seems we are back to square one.
So what do you guys think, am I an asshole for not confronting him and apologising about it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
t8EnMNfqKGbBsgLNDs6yfyMrYFnGIsiz | b21i5s | {
"description": "not wanting to game with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to game with a friend? | Over the past 4 years or so, I've developed a really solid friend group. We game together, play dungeons and dragons together, and generally are really close. Most of us are either in North America or Canada, but we have one friend in the Netherlands. Because I'm on the West Coast and the Canadians are closer to that side of Canada, it can be really hard to find time to game/hang out with him outside of our weekly DnD game, especially when the rest of us can usually find a night or two to get together after normal working hours during the week. What often happens is that he'll end up pinging our discord server on Saturday morning as that's when most of us are free and asking who is around to play and sometimes can be insistent. Not in a cruel way, just a "When can you play?" as opposed to a "Can you play?"
He's a really nice guy and not in a "Nice Guy" type way, but a genuine friendly dude way and I really like him, but I work all week and sometimes just want to have my Saturday mornings to listen to podcasts and play some single player games/hang with my cat as opposed to having to be "on" Discord cracking jokes. This leads to me sometimes not responding/saying I'm busy when I just really want to have my Saturday morning to myself.
AITA for not wanting to give up my Saturday mornings to game with my buddy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
VHvc0BEr9dC1LtWqA1vXZKffKVx8uBym | 9wnse8 | {
"description": "roasting my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for roasting my friend? | AITA for this?
We were in sports class. My friends and I went to the teacher, so she could fix her grade. She went to the teacher and said that, plus she said 'I want to fix everything' (she wanted to fix more than one grade).
And to that I instantly said 'you can't fix your face'
Everyone went silent and after few moments started laughing. Even my teacher said to me, that that was kinda cruel, but funny, since he likes people with such sence of humour.
Was it too much? We joke around like this often, but never this hard.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rNq73ReBHktcXGXNlAvwsBqp2VEPe9gp | ar6spg | {
"description": "applying to the same college program as my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for applying to the same college program as my friend? | My friend introduced me to this college after he noticed I was struggling in my applications. I chose the program he applied to when I knew he applied there too. I’m afraid that the atmosphere between us could get weird. I could have chosen from many other programs at this college, but I felt like his program genuinely appealed to me the most. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FBRIFfQMlmAgKAfPoNAiqCL4kixUMgny | b0b7sx | {
"description": "stopping talking to a guy I've been seeing because he's struggling so much",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I stop talking to a guy I've been seeing because he's struggling so much? | Context: I (24f) got out of a 4 year relationship a year and a half ago. It was a bad relationship, I won't get into all of it, but my ex was bipolar and an alcoholic and dealt with a lot of legal troubles throughout the relationship (4 months in prison and then another 2 or 3 years of supervised probation.) I had to help him with more than I was ever comfortable with. It caused almost constant stress in my life.
​
​
Shortly after I ended that relationship, I started seeing this guy, "M" (24.) I told him right away that I didn't want anything serious, but we've been hooking up/hanging out for over a year now. I know that M likes me a lot and might want something more serious. I should also note that at this point we are more than just "fuck buddies," I really like him as a person, we text throughout the week and he's someone I feel comfortable being around when I'm upset/stressed/whatever.
​
​
Lately M has been going through a lot. He broke down crying in front of me last week. He got a DUI years ago and is still dealing with the repercussions, and a lot of his behavior reminds me of my ex (avoiding and ignoring problems but constantly worrying about what will happen when those problems catch up with him. Not taking the appropriate actions to fix things.) He said he's at risk of going to jail. I helped him with some things, helped him buy a new battery for his car, let him use my phone, bought him food, gave him some rides.
​
​
I'm starting to feel like it's too much. I don't want to hear about his issues; it's in my nature to want to help in whatever way I can but I don't want to put myself in that situation. I REALLY care about this guy, genuinely want to see him be ok. So I feel awful for not wanting anything to do with him if he's going to be going through all of this. I also think it's important to note that the biggest thing I have an issue with is him relying on me emotionally. When he was crying I felt exactly like I did in my last relationship. I felt awful for him but helpless and sort of resentful.
​
​
I think I'll just gradually back off and if he asks, tell him I've been busy with work (which is true) and focusing on myself. I don't know if it would be better to be honest in this situation and tell him I can't be a part of his life while he's dealing with so much. I know I get to choose who I want in my life but I feel like a huge asshole for wanting to be done with this friendship/relationship at the exact moment M probably needs me most. It's not like I'm his girlfriend, it doesn't directly impact my day to day life, so should I just suck it up, be a good friend and help him through it even though it makes me uncomfortable?
​
Tl;dr I want to cut contact with a guy I've been seeing for awhile because he's been dealing with legal troubles, money troubles etc. and leaning on me for emotional support and it reminds me of a shitty past relationship. AITA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LVwaiZ4nf1w6dn1rxUVx7UTIW3U894wu | a6dsne | {
"description": "being late to come home my girlfriend is a bitch to me so I just dont come home or come later",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA when im late to come home my girlfriend is a bitch to me so I just dont come home or come later | So im a business owner and I have a shop that's 5 miles from home that is like Disney Land for me because I love working on my projects. So I'll come home late and my wife (understably) gets upset so she will just tell me if I'm late don't come at all. Then next morning be more mad that I came even later or not at all.
I would rather stay/sleep at my shop later anyway and she's just gonna be mad at me so why go home ? I know I'm asshole for not spending more time at night with her. It's pointless to go home though with her just giving me silent treatment or talking shit to me.
I will apologize and ask her please don't be mad ill come right now but she just flips switch and goes full cunt mode. Average I'm late maybe 30 minutes sometimes hour. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
MSdU95wGX2hOKwIOv5fqR6Bh7auznxYC | b74fw6 | {
"description": "'stealing' food to feed a hungry elephant",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for ‘stealing’ food to feed a hungry elephant? | So me and my sister were at a holiday resort and there were 2 elephants in an enclosure.
It was late at night and I saw that the elephants were swaying their trunks and sort of “dancing”. I quickly recognized that they were probably hungry and this was their ‘day job’ to entertain guests at the resort.
It seemed like they were dancing for us to beg for food; it seemed like they were hungry to me. I had no elephant food on me but I saw that their keeper had left some elephant food (sugar cane) nearby, and no one else was around. My sister was telling me not to feed them because “they’ll just end up hungrier tomorrow night when we’re gone”.
However I fed the elephants anyway and they gobbled up the sugar cane. We kept arguing about it the entire time back to our rooms.
So AITA for giving those elephants food without permission? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
CuiBy7L0T1qNDDL20acrIKiO3bwyi57X | aklqv4 | {
"description": "not letting my roommate park",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For not letting my roommate park??? | This all happened just a couple of days ago. Just to preface the story, I live in a small, older house on the local university campus. I live with three other roommates who I have known for quite some time. Our house has a small driveway that fits four cars if its completely full; every person living here has a car. The driveway has been a topic of conversation for me and one of the other roommates for some time. I should mention that two people live upstairs (me and A) and two people live downstairs (S and E). S and E are a couple. Okay... now on to the story.
​
So I get home from work normal time, around 6:00 PM. I usually just park on the street, but tonight there was no parking because there was a basketball game going on right down the road, so I decided to park in the driveway. There were already three cars in the driveway, S's second car that is broken down and a random car that I assumed was a friend of S or E. E was also parked in the driveway. I go inside and don't think anything of it. Another friend of mine, lets call them C, calls and says they are coming over.
​
C arrives shortly after and comes upstairs. C says he parked in the driveway, so E must have left. A and I decide that he should stay there as two of the spots are already taken by cars that belong to the downstairs. After a while E gets home and calls me asking for a parking pass. We give her one and she heads back out to her car. A few minutes later I get a call from E asking if she can swap cars with C for a minute to unload some stuff from her car. There was no where on the street for C to swap, but C, A, and I offered to help E bring her things downstairs. She said no thanks and hung up the phone. I thought we were done there but I got another call just a few minutes later.
​
E called again but this time she said she had to "pull this card" and it was her driveway and C needed to move. I told E that the spots allotted to downstairs were full and that C was not going to move. E ended up getting very upset and called S, getting him involved in the situation.
​
In the end, S came home with his friend and they moved their car. E ended up with a spot in the driveway but E and S are both still very angry, saying that I was disrespectful and that E was entitled to a spot in the driveway. I see where they are coming from, but I feel like the fact that the two spots for the downstairs were taken kind of voids their argument. I just want some non-biased feedback.
AITA??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ojxwzOXq4wsEunYjHzdgUnbyevX8lcoP | b8vzvh | {
"description": "not wanting to carpool with husbands dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to carpool with husbands dad? | We have a graduation party to go to in June that is a few states over for our niece. After making all arrangements, a few days later husband tells me out of the blue that we are carpooling with his dad. I said ok but I didn’t admit am not interested at all!! It’s like an 11 hour trip. And though it would be nice to spend some time in the backseats with the kids, I honestly don’t want to do it for 11 hours both ways. I end up feeling like a child myself. Or a nanny. It’s difficult to even be part of the “adult” conversations up front 😂 Even saying that makes me feel like such a child. But it’s not only that. I don’t want to be on someone else’s schedule. That means we get up and go whenever the hell his dad decides. Then being without our own transportation for the weekend. Not like it’s a big deal to borrow someone’s car, but it’s just another element I don’t like. The entire thing just irks me. I almost want to tell him he can carpool with daddy. I’ll drive down with one of the kids. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pvtLitK0UoU3lnfqp2GHTlqDgvX5Qp5X | b36oy4 | {
"description": "not driving 40 minutes to stand by the luggage for 5 minutes at the airport",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not driving 40 minutes to stand by the luggage for 5 minutes at the airport? | My spouse is leaving on a trip at about 4:00 in the morning. I offered to drive him to the airport if he didn’t want to leave his car there during the trip. But he does want to park his car there. So I wasn’t planning to drive him, clearly. The airport is about 20 minutes away, one way. It’s not a large airport. Tonight he said he wants me to drive in a separate car and stand by his luggage at the curb while he parks his car so that he doesn’t have to park, go in and get a wheeled cart for the luggage, and then walk back out to the car. One of his bags is heavy.
It would take 10 minutes for him to walk in, get a cart, go back to the car, and walk in with the luggage. It would take me about 45 minutes for me to drive to the airport, stand there while he parks the car and walks in, and then drive back home. At 4 am.
He’s really mad at me for not wanting to do this. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kxqiF7com9QpByEHz9YRGmDvceATQVjM | ab0o40 | {
"description": "not letting my ex see our daughter",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting my ex see our daughter? | My ex girlfriend gave birth to our daughter when I was 15 and she was 16. Throughout her pregnancy, she was extremely abusive to me. On three different occasions, she stabbed me with a knife, and on many more with forks, earrings, anything really. She punched, kicked, scratched etc, for reasons as small as me looking at my phone for more than 20 seconds without looking at her. She was also verbally abusive, and at one point, she threw a shoe at my dog. At 15 and with her being pregnant, I didn't want to leave her in fear of her not letting me see our kid. She was harming herself at the time and always said that if I left her, she'd go straight to the police and say it was me.
​
Long story short, after our daughter was born she had a complete mental breakdown (another reason I stayed with her and didn't report any of this is because she is diagnosed with schizophrenia) and was hospitalised. My mom and I took full custody of my daughter and my ex showed no sign of wanting to be in her life for five years. At this point, I am 20 and still suffering from what she did. I have regular panic attacks and night terrors, and have been seeing a therapist all this time. Recently, my ex contacted my mom in a very blunt and demanding way asking for contact with our daughter, despite calling her a "mistake" and "failed abortion" to an ex mutual friend within the past year.
​
I get that my ex might somehow have changed and become a better person, but I don't want her alone with my daughter. On the other hand, I couldn't stand to be in a room with her without panicking and the same goes for my mom, who also faced a torrent of verbal abuse and threats from her in the past. So basically, I don't see a way for this to work unless I let my daughter be on her own with my ex, which I don't want to do at all.
​
TLDR am I wrong for not wanting my abusive ex to have contact with our daughter? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
DkbqJl0Pgc4s5SJvlxLRChgMNPvS9QSZ | aif0s3 | {
"description": "not going to my friends house to go to a show that he was invited to",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to my friends house to go to a show that he was invited to? | So, typically on Friday nights me and my friend (well call him J) will meet up at our friends house (well call him H) and find something to get into. Last Friday, around 1pm, we get the expected “you guys coming over?” text from H. J and I respond saying we will around 8pm when H gets off work.
Around 6pm, another friend tells us he has a bunch of free tickets to a local show. Naturally J and I say we wanna go. So we text H and tell him about the show, thinking he’d wanna go. H replies, saying he doesn’t want to. After some discussion, J and I decide we’re going anyway. So we text H that we’re going, and obviously he is more than welcome to come. The show didn’t start until after he got off at 8, so we could still meet up and go to the show.
To our surprise, H starts blowing up our phones with some pretty shitty messages. I’ll spare the more intense parts, but he essentially said he doesn’t wanna hangout with us again. We apologized, and went on with our night. He hasn’t spoken to us since.
I feel it’s important to note that there have been several occasions when H wanted to do something, and J and I bit the bullet and did whatever H wanted to do, because yaknow that’s just kinda what friends do.
So AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tfetPoKwUm8hI6JUM7wpuFktLvKeac4a | b9a2eb | {
"description": "telling a girl to ''get the fuck off me'' when she touched my hair",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for telling a girl to ''get the fuck off me'' when she touched my hair | I (21M) recently tried something different with my hair. I usually quiff it, but tried growing it out and seeing how it would like. It turns out my hair becomes very curly once it gets to a certain length.
I'm no model or anything, so I'm not claiming that, but I get WAY more attention from girls now, or at least, they approach me more? I've had a few girls approach me in nightclub settings/parties saying ''Wow I love your hair'' and then we escalate from there.
But I've also had some girls who just touch my hair without permission. This ONLY happens in nightclub/party settings, but it happened ONCE during daylight hours.
Anyway, I was at a party recently socializing and having a good time and I went to pour myself another drink, and out of nowhere I feel someone touch my hair. I turn around and I see a girl smiling, so I just calmly look her in the eye and say ''Get the fuck off me, and do NOT do that again''. I looked very stern when I said that and she looked really scared now (also if it makes any difference, she was about 5''4 while I am 6''2 so I'm a bit bigger than her).
One of my friends said this was a major asshole thing to say someone AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
1mp66FQD0pS4RuDdjkonpG7EP9JQeZ9w | b8wodf | {
"description": "being interested in someone my ex says is her friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being interested in someone my ex says is her friend? | I'll try to keep it short. When me and ex broke up we agreed we wouldn't date each other's friends. Simple enough right?
My ex met one of my female acquaintances a couple years ago, I think a total of twice at parties. They never hung out or were in contact after that. After I broke up with ex, acquaintance and I started chatting on Facebook frequently. Acquaintance is now single, I'm now single, and we have great chemistry.
Acquaintance is astounded that ex thinks they were friends, as am I. She doesn't care either way, so we're gonna start dating.
I know I'm within my rights to date acquaintance, but AITA for not caring that it will upset my ex? As far as I'm concerned it's not her business who I date as long as it's not an actual friend of hers. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tAOkDJdBAutUkjsy1oFdMWQBI0Q7g6cG | ax1d0t | {
"description": "telling my mom I was uncomfortable with eating candy at a restaurant that we bought somewhere else",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my mom I was uncomfortable with eating candy at a restaurant that we bought somewhere else? | My wife, parents and I just went out to dinner at a nice-ish restaurant. Before were got there, my mom suggested we go to a candy store to buy chocolate-covered strawberries. I thought my mom wanted them for after the restaurant.
However, when we got sat, she took out the boxes of strawberries and opened them on the table for us to eat before our server got there to greet us. I told her that it made me uncomfortable to bring food from another place into the restaurant and eat it at the table.
She seemed really put off by this, but agreed to put the strawberries away. Later on, I suggested that my parents come back to my wife and I's home to have dessert there. My mom agreed, but still seemed put off by my having asked her not to "serve" them to us at the restaurant. We had a nice time at home and my mom seemed to get over it, but my wife told me she thought my mom was upset with me, too.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dxUN8d34skPUi4QntArlDxS9POiTnPXa | agdco9 | {
"description": "being angry about the Friendzone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for being angry about the Friendzone? | I'm a pretty normal guy usually, I think Im pretty decent looking and pretty nice, but girl never pay me any attention it seems. Every time I get close to a girl she either has a bf or says Im like a brother and I end up feeling like Ive wasted my time. I feel that I never get anywhere with girls, and that I'm wasting my time with this shit. Why do I always get friendzoned? It fucking sucks. AITA for being angry about girls always friendzoning me and wasting my time? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
24VPZHU9Vw2sp7fiflc5Nuuzy6sGlVDT | a8r849 | null | AITA for my revenge on an old coworker? | On mobile, sorry for the format.
So here is some context, I work in a sheetmetal union in San Francisco and I'm a 1st year Apprentice. Typically apprentices listen and learn from journeymen, and will occasionally follow the steps of a higher tier apprentice. (Ex: 1st year listens to 4th year at jobsite) This guy we will call Bob is a 3rd year apprentice who never shuts up about how great he is and how the the current foreman and general foreman are preparing him to be a foreman when he journeys out (total malarkey). Still him and I get sent on multiple jobs together where it's just the two of us, and everytime it ends up being me doing all the work while he will sit on his phone watching videos, even when I would ask him for his help his response would be "Nah, you got it, you need practice" and return to his phone. I hated working with him but bit my lip to keep the peace.
Then came one day where Bob, our general foreman, and I were on a job together for the day. At some point the GF sent me to walk a few blocks away (downtown sf) to another job to grab some materials we needed. It took me about 45 minutes to get there, find the stuff, and bring it back. Immediately on my return bob says "damn that took you forever, did you stop to get coffee or something? You've been gone over an hour." "Uh no I've only been gone 45 minutes and it's because it takes awhile to get there and back" I reply. Later that day as we are walking to the parking garage we come across an old friend of his that is in another trade, I say hello and continue on while bob and this guy talk about hitting a bar.
When I get home right when I'm about to head to bed I get a call from a blocked number. I thought it was strange and decided to answer it. What I received when I answered was a man that sounded like Bob's friend, who knew me by name, calling me out for taking so long grabbing materials. Saying things like "you suck the foreman's dick. You better hurry up or else. You're a bitch." Just general nastiness and threats. I didnt respond much because I was taken aback and frankly didnt know how to respond. I'm not the type to scream and yell over something so silly and childish, I just wanted to go to sleep. He called me 4 times before he stopped. I called bob and asked him what the hell? He said he didnt know what I was talking about and to stop wasting his time.
The next day he was an hour late to work from drinking to much and oversleeping. Now I know it was him because only 2 other people were with me that day who would've known how long it took me to grab materials, and the GF wouldnt do that, he's a great guy and we get along great, which led me to believe it was bob and his friend. However, I couldnt prove it. It was a blocked number and I didnt have the foresite to record it.
I just recently found out he has been let go due to his drinking problems, and to say it put a smile on my face would be an understatement, we haven't worked together in months but I still harbor some ill will towards bob, which leads me to my revenge. AITA for writing his phone number on every portapotty Ive gone into from then until now? With "call for a good time" written next to it? I go into a LOT or portapottys just due to the amount of jobs i frequent with no other bathroom, is that be an asshole thing to do? Or am I justified in my revenge? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
xEUwmsMKGsKIKX7YGfBv5hccTErhrYnu | ajqpao | {
"description": "telling his girlfriend he cheated on her with me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA if I tell his girlfriend he cheated on her with me? | (I know I’m already the asshole for the cheating bit, I’m just trying to make things right)
I got involved with a guy (he initiated) in one of my classes. I heard him talk about his girlfriend before but it had been a while and I assumed he broke up with her. When I found out he didn’t, I still stayed. I’m not in the best headspace and I wanted someone to care about me.
Finally, the guilt got too much and I tried to break it off. He told me that he was going to break up with her, he loved me more, etc and like a moron I believed him. Then once my guilt manifested into not being able to have sex with him he broke it off, never having broken up with her.
Fast forward to now, I am a wreck. I can’t sleep, every time I see him I want to vomit, he told all my personal stuff to our mutual friends on campus and now I have no one. I found his girlfriend on Instagram and I am thinking of telling her. “The truth will set you free” and all that. I want to put this behind me, I’m just worried about my motivations. A part of me does want revenge, but i mostly just want to stop punishing myself on her behalf and let her do it herself. Or she forgives me.
(Note: I’m not going to tell her anything along the lines of “oh I feel so guilty pls forgive me” I just planned on telling her he cheated and I’m sorry she had to hear it from me. Maybe say I came to her because the guilt got too much just so she doesn’t think I’m doing it maliciously)
So, render your judgement reddit. Will I be the asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
wXGzVbaoxrIjJhYlgBlKf3LD5JvmtLTM | amz7p0 | {
"description": "telling an overweight girl that she is too heavy for a trust fall",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling an overweight girl that she is too heavy for a trust fall? | This girl at my school was fairly overweight and she just out of the blue said to me “Trust fall” and started falling on me. I responded by backing off and telling her that I’m not strong enough to lift her and to not trust fall on me. Her friend told me I’m a dick and my friend told me I was fine. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pj1OOtQ8HrlvMpRhkmrj13uKI8SKkhin | a1ete5 | {
"description": "speaking up about my eldest sisters husband trying to solicit sexual favours from me when I was 13",
"pronormative_score": 58,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for speaking up about my eldest sisters husband trying to solicit sexual favours from me when I was 13* | *I am now 21
This year I essentially destroyed (my mother’s words) my family by speaking up about my eldest sisters husband trying to solicit sexual favours from me on Christmas Day when I was 13, while everyone else was in their post Christmas feast coma (and didn’t speak up at the time as I was told by him no one would believe me because I was 13 and he was 28 and “who would believe a child over an adult”).
I hated Christmas before this incident because my family always had the tendency to (literally) scream at each other over anything whenever they were forced to occupy the same house, but this incident only made me despise the holidays more.
I spoke up about this in August, because in April I was told that I would be required to drive 8 hours (one way) to spend a week at said eldest sisters house because “that’s what everyone is doing for Christmas” and was told that it didn’t matter what “excuses” I had as my attendance wasn’t “optional”. I was told this by every person in my family, my mother, my father, and my 2 other older sisters (one of which was flying in from London for the week).
In short this year has been a series of severe mental breakdowns for me. I spent months discussing with my partner at the time what I should do, and the eventual conclusion came that I had to speak up, not just for my sake, but for the sake of all of my sisters children (6 boys and 3 girls between the 3 of them).
Long story short: My eldest sister told my mother and my closest in age sister that myself and both of them were dead to her, as I, in her words, “had to be making everything up to destroy her life when she’s finally happy”, and she would have nothing do to with anyone who believed me.
Eldest sister said that when I apologise and admit to lying about everything that we can “attempt” to be sisters again, to which I told her that I wasn’t lying, and that I didn’t care if I was never considered her sister again, so long as my nieces and nephews were protected in the way that I wasn’t.
No one in my family (bar my mother whom I’m now back living with due to the severity of the decline in my mental health) has spoken to me since August.
My closest sister in age is angry at me for speaking up about it. My mother is beyond upset that I’ve taken some of her grandchildren away from her by speaking up, because my eldest sister said she would never be allowed to see them again, because she ordered my mum to “make this all go away or pick a side”, to which my mother replied that she couldn’t make it go away and that she wouldn’t pick sides.
Am I the asshole?
This is killing me.
My mum has always told me that “family will always be there for you and protect you”, and no one in my family was or is really there for me or protected me, but I’m still desperately trying to protect their children, but I feel like I’M the monster for trying to protect them because I’m being blamed for ruining my family?
I don’t know what to do, and I thought I did the right thing, but now I feel like I am the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 58,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 58,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
bUts1GTU1QV8lAqAPBZVN55AnkPn4j0U | aqwgtf | {
"description": "being upset at my dad's friend's son for having a sleepover at my house tomorrow",
"pronormative_score": 223,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | AITA for being upset at my dad’s friend’s son for having a sleepover at my house tomorrow? | Sorry for any grammatical errors or formatting problems I’m typing on mobile.
So my birthday is tomorrow and I’m inviting some friends tomorrow to play smash ultimate. I really wanted this party to happen since last year my mom randomly signed me up for a weekend camp trip last year during my birthday weekend without telling me (I can post that story in the comments if someone wants to hear it). She just told me my dad invited one of his friends kids who’s around 10 years old.The kid decided he wanted to do stay the night and my dad said yes. So I don’t like surprises and I just want to be told things in time and not right before. They agreed on this yesterday and are just telling me today. Honestly I’m not against him staying the night I just don’t like how he just decided he wanted to and just is coming and that I don’t have a choice. I even asked if the friends I invited could stay the night too, and my mom said no.
Am I the a hole?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 162,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 61,
"INFO": 11
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 223,
"WRONG": 22
} | RIGHT |
9cE536LKpOy131ASfn8wTHS5oEjpurff | axuttq | {
"description": "phrasing a sentence wrong and causing an argument",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for phrasing a sentence wrong and causing an argument? | So this is my first time posting on here so I made an account because I want to hear other people's opinions about what happened just a few hours ago.
So my English is decent but I still make mistakes here and there, which is important.
I've been dating this American guy for around 1.5 years now and lately we've been getting into a few arguments, but the one that happened just a few hours ago made me just really confused.
We were talking about different designs for a skin he wanted to buy for a controller, he showed me one which he liked the most and I said it looks kinda meh and boring because I like designs with a nice twist on it. Bad move.
He started telling me I was being passive aggressive, so I didn't quite understand what was going on and why he was upset with me.
When I asked him what I did wrong he got more mad and told me I'm being really rude and that it's getting old and boring, which obviously hurt my feelings.
After a while of going back and forth he told me saying something is "boring" is really rude and passive aggressive.
I told him I was sorry multiple times and that I'll try to phrase my sentences better, but I still get told I'm getting annoying and its getting old.
I started mentioning how rude he's being lately and he got really defensive saying I was blaming him for everything and I should start listening to him, after this he left and he didn't respond to my texts anymore.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LhG4FB2KBQGFn7VQBiWB4hcVU9YaVdEK | aj5mpi | {
"description": "causing my roommate to switch dorms",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Causing my Roommate to Switch Dorms? | I am a college freshman going to school in the Northeast. I dropped the ball on my roommate-pairing application process (as did my former roommate, let's call him William) and we got paired together despite our obvious differences. Our first meeting and the first week or so went well. I learned he had never shared a room with anyone before and that he wished he'd gotten into a better school than this one. Great, I thought.. this was my reach school. One thing that was off was that he seemed sort of awkward around me, never initiating conversations or making eye contact.
I'm fairly untidy, and while my mess never crossed to his half of the room, it still looked bad in comparison to his neatly arranged textbooks and perfectly made bed. William woke up at 6:00 every morning while I generally got up around 7:00-7:30. He spent a lot of time studying whereas I spent much of my time playing videogames (with headphones.) He went to bed around 9:30-10:00, and if I was in the dorm at that time I'd either go to sleep too, or move to the dorm's communal lounge area.
Problems didn't really begin until my girlfriend started to visit on weekends. The first two times she visited, it was a last minute decision & I didn't give William a lot of advance notice that she would be coming over. August 31st, I gave him about an hour, and September 7th, about a day's notice. However, both times I was very clear that if he's not comfortable with her being around that she can sleep downstairs in the lounge, but he said he had a friend he could stay with and that it would be fine. Alright, cool. After that, I gave him between 5-8 days of heads-up & she came over three more times over a span of 2 months or so. Despite the fact that things had been fine between us (although he had been just as awkward & silent as usual,) I started hearing through mutual friends that he had been complaining about me to them. Now, I don't mind that he had complaints about me, but it really frustrated me that rather than tell me that something I was doing bothered him, he would complain about me to our mutual friends. It was stuff like how I came back to the dorm late at night sometimes, or how my half of the room was messy, or about how I didn't give him advance notice earlier in the semester. So I oiled my bed-springs to make 'em quieter and even made my bed (once.)
Then, without warning, William moved out on October 30th to another dorm. That evening I sent him a text saying "Hey, I'm sorry things didn't work out. I genuinely hope your new room/roommate is more to your liking and the rest of your year goes well." No reply. Since then, he has never spoken to me in person or otherwise..
Am I the asshole, Reddit?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
a1MoMDgeThLhr5KxM1ZWE6p7hqa92Bvt | b9brpu | {
"description": "being kinda salty about my wife getting braces",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for being kinda salty about my wife getting braces | My wife’s always wanted braces, her teeth aren’t fucked up beyond belief, there’s just some crowding on the top row that isn’t horrible but impacts her confidence in her smile.
She has a child, a 10 year old, she claims on her taxes. We file separately for a multitude of reasons but she gets the tax break for the kiddo. He isn’t mine by blood but my income goes to support him too. The one time I brought up that I was entitled to a piece of her refund she lost her shit and said SHE got the tax break for having a kid, at which point I corrected her and said no, you get it for SUPPORTING him, not just for having him, and I support him just as much as you do. She apologized and said I was right and she was wrong, I told her not to worry about it for now.
In January we discussed braces for her. She’s always wanted them, always been fucked financially and could never use her tax refund as a down payment because of shitty financial decisions of her ex. I was expecting her to get about $1000 more back in federal than she did. I wanted to put $2500 down and finance the rest and double up on payments to get them paid off quicker. Well, I’m not dipping into savings for fucking braces, so we’re only putting $1500 down.
Well, last night we got into a minor fight when I told her it was kinda selfish to get braces when we could be buying a house instead. She compared me to her ex and said I was just another guy telling her no and that she’d take her refund out of our shared account and put it in her own. I told her it was a $163/month investment and I was putting the onus on her to offset the cost. We sat down and figured out that by prepping our lunches for work we’d save close to $200/month. We took it a step further and figured out a few other small changes we could make and suddenly we’re saving closer to $300/month.
At the end of the day I’m okay with her investing in something she’s always wanted to do, but I still can’t help but feel like it’s a selfish decision. Her reasoning of “well we paid all of our revolving debt off! We can afford this!” Is bullshit imo. When a debt is paid off, you shouldn’t just acquire more fucking debt.
TLDR: am I an asshole for being kinda pissed my wife is spending $5800 on braces rather than saving the money and buying a house in the next 10 months? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
sXpMYYr40biVjwKdgDv7nf78bnBCK8l8 | b9u3ai | {
"description": "not wanting to use my landlord as my realtor",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to use my landlord as my realtor. | I've been renting for the past 4 years and a local real estate company manages the condo I live in. The owner has decided to sell the condo so I'm going to look into purchasing a house as I no longer want to rent and want to build equity.
The realty company that manages the condo I live in have of course offered to represent me in buying a home. However, a few months ago in December I failed to pay rent. I don't know how it happened. Whether I didn't navigate all the way to the payment page online or if it just skipped my mind completely. But its the first time its ever happened. I've never been late in the past 4 years and infact, 99% of the time pay my rent 1-2 weeks early.
While it is entirely on me for forgetting to pay, I feel that after 4 years of early payment and being very understanding when needing repairs (they aren't timely when I've needed maintenance.) that I deserve some kind of heads up before they take legal action. So on the 5th of December I find a 5 days to pay or vacate document taped to my front door. So of course I paid immediately and also had to pay $50 to cover their legal fees.
A simple phone call or email would have been nice instead of immediately trying to evict me.
Knowing that the realtor fee is 6% of home price and in my market will amount to about $10,000 I don't want to give them that money.
Am I just being petty? Is there some benefit to me for using my former landlords as my realtor? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UyyHK3DaPQQpDlUn2ROLfFdBfNbl30DZ | ax342b | {
"description": "telling my friend what I thought about his relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my friend what I thought about his relationship? | So "Jack", "Amy", and I are co-workers/friends. Some time ago, Amy revealed that she had feelings for Jack. Problem is she lives with her long-term boyfriend and Jack just wasn't into her, so end of story right? Well recently Jack revealed to me he reciprocated those feelings, and on top of that, the two of them were planning on going on a week long vacation in Cancun. They claimed they weren't going to do anything physical and that a relationship was a possibility months down the road but not now.
Then a week ago, Amy wanted to talk to me, and asked me what I thought about J&A relationship. I told her that if I were in her position, I would tell her bf about her feelings and that she liked Jack. Basically that bf deserves the whole truth since Jack is actually friends with the bf and hangs out at their place A LOT, and that she's emotionally cheating on him. She tells me that she was already planning on breaking up with bf for reasons unrelated to Jack, but when I specifically ask her if Jack was a factor in her decision now, she confirms that he is. So I guess she took our convo to heart, broke up with bf and told him the truth. Cool. But not really??
Cuz a couple of days ago, Jack asks to talk to me over lunch and asks me what I thought about the two of them. I tell him that it was good of Amy to be honest with ex-bf and Jack just BLOWS UP. We're out at a cafe and Jack starts yelling at me for making Amy cry (after our convo), not acting happy for their relationship, and that ex-bf didn't need to know everything cuz "she was going to break up with him anyways". I get pissed because I didn't force her to do anything, just told her that what I would do in her position and that ex-bf deserves to know that Amy was planning on getting with Jack. He calls me cruel for wanting to hurt her ex-bf?? And that I was controlling for saying I'd want the whole truth in my relationship??
I didn't want to be involved, but they asked me my thoughts. If they had asked if I would be supportive, then I would've just said yes.
So AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
J8XAKC0BnkSregJTfLeLrGpbYXMiLit9 | 9zio3c | {
"description": "shoveling snow onto my neighbors driveway",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA. I shoveled snow onto my neighbors driveway. | When I was a teenager I would shovel snow to make money. One time I was asked my neighbor if I could shovel his driveway. He agreed to pay me $15 for it. So I grabbed my shovel and started. This driveway was cleared completely no snow on it at all. I go to collect my money but my neighbor said I did it for no reason and gave me $5. I argued but he said he would call the cops if I didn't leave. I left and proceeded to take the snow I shoveled and piled it infront of his garage and left. Was I being an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
TLMftk20fJXOXkjY75ywuq9kNeZP33zS | ake3xr | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to go to gay pride",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 241
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go to gay pride? | About an hour ago I had a full blown argument with my girlfriend regarding pride and other LGBT community events.
I guess I should start by saying I am, by no means, homophobic. I appreciate everyone's right to be who they are unapologetically.
When I first met my girlfriend, she's just got out of a 5 year relationship with a female.
She identified as Gay but when she met me, in her words "I've always been open minded and if I fancy a girl, I fancy a girl, if I fancy a guy, I fancy a guy - it just so happens I've never fancied a guy before you".
We've been together 3 years now and love together. Generally were really happy and I feel blessed to be with such an easy-going and kind hearted girl.
Every year, she goes to gay pride with her friends, most of which are gay and a few are straight. This year, she wants to go again. The thing is, I have an issue with this because she is in a hetero relationship, she is not dating women and when she goes to pride, I see it as erasing our relationship and acting as if she is still gay.
She had a break down when I mentioned it which is completely out of character. She said that when she was with a girl, she was outcasted by the straight community and now she's in a hetero relationship, she's not fully accepted in the LGBT community. She says it's one time a year where she can express her pride in being part of a community that has been through so much. But I can't understand her need to be there when at present, she is not a part of the community. She's very passionate about the cause and says that she will always support pride and still feels a part of LGBT community. She says she isn't straight just cause she's with a guy, that she is still bi and therefore wants to continue to support other people, who are in LGBT community.
I told her I didn't like her going to pride as if she's gay, being around gay females who will assume she's gay when she comes home to straight relationship. I told her you can't expect the privileges of a straight relationship but also the LGBT community at the same time. She did not take this well.
She told me that she couldn't see a future with me if I'm forever going to "erase her sexuality" and make her "be straight" to protect my insecurities. She also says that she is still attracted to females and therefore is still Bi but in my opinion, she isn't gay until she's in a gay relationship. Maybe, I'm wrong but imagine being in a female+female relationship but your girlfriend going to straight bars and straight pride events. It's the same thing. I feel as if she's saying our relationship isn't enough, that she still wants to explore the other side of her sexuality despite her saying she would never look elsewhere whilst with me.
She's stormed out and hasn't been home since an hour ago. I'm wondering if I'm the asshole for feeling like this?
I support gay pride but find it hurtful that my girlfriend wants to access such communities. | HISTORICAL | {
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9jXxXvg3DG1FlCntaTRd0YOux5A3NUZk | 9vt9mw | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with him? | I recently found out that someone who was a close friend of mine had been talking shut about me to another very good friend.
Apart from that, he has also been very toxic ignoring other people's problems because according to him his life is worse. Not only that, he also plays the victim whenever you make the slightest mistake to make it look like you are plotting against him.
All this has led to the friend to whom she talked trash about me and me getting more distant from him instead of confronting him. What should I do? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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gI6tHhv2DMmyjjcz4NaZbNJrjsZaKJXC | aidtpp | {
"description": "ignoring a long-standing rule against gift giving",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring a long-standing rule against gift giving. | This happened ten years ago. But although I don't dwell on it, I do sometimes wonder if I was the asshole or not.
​
Wife and I, married 17 years, had agreed early in our marriage that the only gifts we would exchange were on birthdays and Christmas. On our wedding anniversary, Valentines day, mothers/fathers day we would give a card. Of course we often gave each other spontaneous gifts at any time of the year, but we were just trying to avoid some of the more egregious "Hallmark Holiday" obligations. We preferred to give gifts when we felt like it, rather than when we were told to.
​
Fast forward 17 years and we had been having a lot of friction and tension in our marriage. No-one had done anything hurtful or bad, but we were working too hard at our careers and didn't put enough effort into our relationship. Nothing major but there was a lot of bickering and even some nasty no-holds-barred fights.
​
With our anniversary coming up I decided to try to reset the clock and do something nice. Over a couple of months I trawled through old hard drives and memory cards and assembled a collection of photographs starting from when we met, up to the present day. It included scanning photos from the pre-digital era. I then printed around 200 images that I felt were a nice record of our life together. Lots of shots of us in love, the arrival and growth of our children, Christmases and vacations down through the years, that sort of thing. I bought a presentation album and mounted the photos. I was certain she would love it and it would help us to remember the good things that we had achieved during our time as a couple.
​
However, I had not given any thought to the long-standing "no anniversary gifts" practice. I couldn't see it at the time, but I'm sure you can see where this is going.
​
On the day I presented it to her in bed along with a card declaring my continued love and commitment. She flipped out and after looking at one page refused to look any further. She was as angry as I have seen her and the thrust of her anger was that I had only done this "to make her feel bad for not getting me anything."
​
Was I the asshole for embarrassing her with a sentimental gift when she had nothing to give me? | HISTORICAL | {
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DvPwxkB0jkIypBHXmRt7qeqayVVS7fut | b07x1k | {
"description": "telling a girl to stop singing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling a girl to stop singing | So a little background for everyone here, I'm 30 years old and I'm currently going back to school to be a librarian, I'm also part of the school's gaming club and they meet in the commons of my college. Now I'm pretty introverted and I will admit I have an anger problem that is slowly coming under control. Now onto the scenario.
So this happened like last week, I was sitting in the commons where the gaming club meets, and I was studying for an exam coming up in a couple hours, when a girl who is part of the club walks up, being loud as all hell. She goes to play Smash Ultimate since someone brought a Switch, they start talking about Mary Poppins, that new one that came out. So I put my headphones in and start playing Powerwolf and Sabaton to drown them out. Turns out the loud girl starts belting out songs from Mary Poppins, loud enough to be heard over Powerwolf and there were other people studying there besides me. I didn't do anything but my anger did start to flare up. Now would I have been the asshole to tell her to be quiet and stop singing cause people are trying to study and irk the anger of her and the rest of the club?
TL;DR Girl sings too loudly, allowing her to be heard over blaring metal while people are studying | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
7mehPwbOhMhbkByPDdXJn8OWq9EuyDDE | 9t7f1g | {
"description": "not wanting to pay money for the damaged floor",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to pay money for the damaged floor? | I am currently living with my housemate 'J' who is also the owner of our house. Last month, our kitchen sink had a minor issue, and we called a repairman. He came and fixed in few hours. However, apparently he didn't fix it properly, and water from the sink started dripping to the floor. We just realized this yesterday and found out the whole floor below the sink is now damaged because of the leakage.
Here is the problem. The repairman denied his fault, and now it's up to us to deal with it. J wants me to split the cost to repair the floor, which costs $2000, and I have to pay 1k from my pocket. Honestly, I know he cares about it because he is the landlord, but I don't feel like paying this much for something I didn't do. AITA for not paying the money? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CM0ay9RfWOyssfJNZnodJTbsi7VXDMEL | 9tajyn | {
"description": "not giving my boyfriend what he wants for his birthday",
"pronormative_score": 86,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | WIBTA If I didn't give my boyfriend what he wants for his birthday? | We've been together 4 years and I'm the only income in the house. He doesn't have a job even though he says he's looking, I can't verify anything because I'm out working 10+ hour shifts. Our relationship has been straining for the past couple of years because of it, cause I'm getting tired of being the only one putting bread on the table while he sits at home playing games all day (or that's what it feels like to me). I've been trying to save money to pay off credit card debt and just to have a nest egg, and I don't make all that much money.
He's a good guy who treats me well and never really asks for anything more when it comes to holidays and birthdays, but he does ask for a lot of small things like new games that are coming out or funko pops or whatever and I usually get them for him. His birthday is next month and he's been asking for a new $2000\~ range gaming rig. I feel awful, but don't feel like giving him a gift that expensive when for my birthday I got a couple of books that I reminded him I wanted two days prior, and socks. I feel like an asshole because I've hit him with the old "we'll see give, me some time", but with the date approaching, I feel more and more resentful and I don't even want to get him the small things he asks for every now and again. I feel like he needs to get a job so he can pay for this himself because I don't want to feel like I'm raising a kid instead of being part of a relationship. Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend that much money on my boyfriend on his birthday? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 86,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 86,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
Q0CYTfTVLyNGO8sOf2SHgtGlDPHWzQOB | b9btbh | {
"description": "shouting at my female classmate",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for shouting at my female classmate? | Please, don't read the title and assume things without bothering about the whole post.
Sorry for any errors, but I'm Italian and struggle a bit with writing in English.
I'm in my first year of high school (14-15 years) and I came out of two years of being bullied without being able to do anything about it. The year started quite good, but I've been targeted almost imediatly by this girl.
She keeps bothering me, insult my family, discriminating me since I don't like certain kind of music etc.
Fast forward to yesterday. We were doing P.E. and I was put in a team with this girl. She kept throwing shit about me so I aproached her and tried to talk her into stopping. This just made her insult me directly. So, after a bit I lost it and shouted to her to go fuck herself. After that I stormed out of the gym and into the changing room. Now almost the whole class looks at me like if I commited a crime.
so, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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v3I7S1zfIiewWXOPujDYLPQESf7j6gZZ | a00gkg | {
"description": "getting upset with my friend's boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting upset with my friend's boyfriend? | I was trying to take a friend home for the holidays since we are all college students living far from home, and had a similar destination. I know that they smoke a lot of pot but after asking me several times if they were allowed to smoke in my car (which I said no to) they made me wait 20 minutes for them to smoke a bowl, which involved me just sitting outside in their living room staring at my phone the whole time. I'm not against smoking and I've done it a few times but I'm not a pothead and the idea of holding UK p plans just to smoke was annoying. I ended up throwing their stuff in my car myself and starting it without them and waiting outside. AITA for getting impatient with this? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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Kyovx3SZb8D0m2OACWTN0geOuDZBS2j3 | b6sw3w | {
"description": "hanging out with my friend and not with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for hanging out with my friend and not with my best friend. | Hello everyone this is my first post on this subreddit also English is not my native language so sorry for bad grammar.
So this happen today at school my class, my friend class and my best friend class were send to a large group room were we needed to sit for 3 and half hours while the 12th graders took some test or something while we were there I heard my friend calling me over to her place but at the same time I see my best friend who I saw with a group of friends talking so I thought to myself that she be find without me over there now my friend and my best friend don't like seeing each other eye to eye so it kind of got harder for me to share with my friend as my best friend always want to spend more time with me, but today I decided to hang out with my friend and it was a lot of fun. Later that day I was waiting for my best friend to get out of her math class when suddenly she gave me this look of discussed and starter telling me that I was a asshole because I didn't hang out with her I clearly told her that she was with her group of friends and I was with mine. She then decided to stop talking to me and giving me dirty looks. Am I really the asshole
Ps: I know this is not that excited from other stories from this subreddit but it be really helpful to see if I or her was in the wrong.
| HISTORICAL | {
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TMta6GZoUsv0QnJNKfG8HurLQNyp3KdR | a5ey07 | {
"description": "joking about getting implants to my gf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for joking about getting implants to my gf? | So okay, my girlfriend (19f) is very insecure about her breasts because they are fairly small. I have told her many times I don’t care about that and that I think she is beautiful. A while ago she told me that she might want to do implants, but then later said that she doesn’t and that she just want to try to accept herself for how she is.
However, last week we were talking about buying new clothes etc when she mentions how a lot of tops are kind of “big” at the top and smaller at the bottom or something like that. She then asks like: what can I do to make the clothes fit better? So I joke to her: get your breast implants! This joke did not land well however, and she got extremely upset.
She told me I’m basically in inconsiderate asshole for joking about something that I know makes her feel very bad about herself, and that she is very insecure about. I told her I was sorry and that it was just a joke, but she could really not forgive me for it I guess. She is still mad. I’m just wondering if I’m really the asshole, or if she is just overreacting. Please do tell me haha. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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} | WRONG |
IBsBaxvYiFyVI11Im1ZPMJpBfKjsNtpp | b6g3cy | {
"description": "telling my grandparents to fuck off after they stop my father from going to hospital",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For telling my grandparents to fuck off after they stop my father from going to hospital? | So this happened roughly 2 months ago, my father is an epileptic who had just had his medication changed and was having dinner with my younger brother (15) at a restaurant when he had a seizure about 2 minutes before getting in the truck and driving my brother home (which would've caused an accident)
My mother was away on a trip so my brother called me after he called the ambulance, but as I live an hour away I called my grandparents (who usually have no say in things like these) to check if my brother was okay.
My dad usually denies having epilepsy as a real problem as he was born into the generation of men where anything mental is considered weakness, so my brother knows from experience to force my dad to go to hospital. My grandparents arrived about 5mins before the ambulance did and when they got there they told my brother that my dad wasn't going to hospital even though he tried telling them he needed to go. My grandparents didn't let my brother talk to the ambulance staff and made him wait in the rain while they told them that my dad wasn't going to hospital.
When I arrived I got in an argument with them and eventually told them to fuck off because they refused to let my dad go in the ambulance and took him home.
I feel really bad because my grandparents are 80, usually the nicest people and have been friendly for the longest time but because they sided with my dad he didn't go to hospital and they usually have no say in things like this.
Side note: He had a seizure while driving about 3 weeks later, which I believe was directly caused by him not going to hospital and changing his medication back which made him break 2 ribs and have a heavy concussion
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
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} | RIGHT |
5rP2g73tO9hBDFuD2QTiu5P74kiNsz0Y | b3e0yd | {
"description": "not participating in company activities",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not participating in company activities | I am the kind of person where I don't see myself as above others....or at least I try not to see myself that way.
I work for a small to med size local company as their IT guy and it's a known fact that i get nervous around people. My wife thinks I may have Aspergers and this is probably why I act like I do but I tend to not want to be with people that I view as my co workers since I feel like they are just that.....co workers, nothing more.
There are some that try to make an attempt to be my friend but they are far and few and I don't mind these people but others like, a certain dept I have to sit next to, annoys me to no end.
I'm not saying they are bad people, no. I just don't like them because they are constantly talking about things that are of no interest to me. To be blunt, I go to work to do my job, get a paycheck, and go home. I don't really care about the relationships in the workplace other than, the ones they talk about with the whole, don't burn bridges thing.
I tend to keep to myself and stay quiet unless I'm needed since they never seem interested in my convos or understand what I'm talking about since we are from two totally different worlds.
I make small efforts to connect with them but lately I stopped since I feel like it's not worth it and they hit me with what I was wondering about today.....AITA in this?
They asked me why I'm so reserved and why I generally don't like going to company events, outings, etc... or why I don't donate things like PTO to a coworker I don't like (keep in mind they don't exactly know who I like or don't like, I'm neutral to everyone in their minds) or money/food for birthday parties at the office.
Truth is, I don't want them to throw events for me, or give me anything other than my paycheck. I don't care much about them other than making sure they are working with my systems and my systems are performing at their best. When it comes to my job, I don't care how well they do their jobs, all I care about is my systems are working like they should, sending emails, processing data, connecting to the internet, etc.... but how well the worker does their job, or how long they have to stay afterhours is of no importance to me. I will try to actively make their lives easier with scripts, updates, and such that help them improve their productivity and mood towards my machines but other than that, I don't care at all about their feelings, their days, nothing.
The bosses don't think much of it but the workers are concerned that I never participate or donate food, money, or time to their gifts, outings, etc... I don't go to them and I don't eat any of their food, nothing. I've always felt that my money and such is my business and I fully intend to use it to invest in myself and my family. I don't care if they starve, I only care if my family starves.
They're wondering why I'm so detached from them and I'm not mean about it, only quiet and reserved.
That job is just that...a job. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
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} | RIGHT |
xXr5DlSvsmkN7d7oXNotuomf5bqIZuZh | abrrhy | {
"description": "asking my neighbor to not leave threatening letters on my porch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for asking my neighbor to not leave threatening letters on my porch? | Long story short: we have 6 backyard chickens that can hop out 4 foot fence and spend time eating all the bugs in my neighbors’ yards and pooping. I have tried clipping their wings and making our fence taller with tree branches so they can’t hop to the top railing and hop down, but neither options has worked. I get that ITA for that, but for the moment there’s nothing I can do. We can’t find anyone to take them. My husband works 60 hours/week, and I work full time at night and go to school full time during the day, not to mention it’s cold and rainy bc winter, so building an enclosed run hasn’t been a feasible option.
We’ve talked to neighbors on either side, across the street, and 2 doors down to explain our situation, apologize, and offered to power wash sidewalks of poop stains/give them free eggs once production picks back up in the spring—WHILE working on a solution. A chicken run is just a big expensive project, and will take some time to save up for/build. They were all pretty nice and understanding, especially once we offered to clean up the sidewalks and told them that the chickens will eat all the fleas and mosquitos in the yard (we live in the south and it’s a problem).
My question is this: our neighbor 3 doors down left a vaguely threatening letter on our porch on Christmas Eve. He is claiming that our chickens have destroyed his flower beds (it’s the dead of winter, but I can’t see where the damage is) and that if we don’t find a way to keep them in our yard, he’s going to sue us or kill our chickens. I get his frustration, and at this moment he doesn’t know that we HAVE tried to contain the chickens....but I’m writing him a letter back. He won’t answer the door the few times I’ve gone down there to talk to him like a polite adult. AITA if I tell him what we told our other neighbors (we’ve tried containing the chickens, bear with us, were working on it, we’ll power wash your sidewalks and give you free eggs) and ask him not to leave threatening letters on our porch ever again? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
IuzGTYRgDHWgSToXh9NdyGSrLHj56A5z | b2rns8 | null | AITA "Friends" argue with GF, now are mad at me for siding with her. |
Hey first time poster,
Today on Facebook a friend accidentally shared a video of a person hurting a cat. My girlfriend commented saying it was rotten and she hopes he gets what's coming to him. Girl I used to be friends with says it looks like me so obviously GF jumps to my rescue saying looks more like her from where shes sitting. OP joins in on taking the piss out of GF because she has a shaved head (which is gorgeous might I add) so she starts firing back at him, currently they're all carrying on and joking because it isn't that serious. OP tags his roommate (RM) who hates her with a passion for "backup." RM starts really going in on GF calling her fat, ugly etc etc and she fires back appropriately on impulse. GF then brings up the fact he calls his roommate a c\*\*t all the time and even did so on a night out on Saturday. OP then gets mad, accuses her of twisting his words, then brings up the fact her ex-boyfriend kissed her against her will whilst she was drunk and saying she cheated and she's unfaithful. I break off all contact with friend group and tell her to leave the argument because it's upsetting me, which it has because of the subject matter. I was crying on the phone to GF and so she messaged OP calling him "friend of the year" because of what he did to me (She later apologised for this because I asked her not to retaliate any more). They argue and now OP messages me saying he'll "See me in 3 months when she inevitably cheats on me again," I explain I'm not angry at the fact they were arguing I'm angry and upset because he's essentially aired our dirty laundry in public (something I wanted to stay private) and made her out to be the bad guy, when that slimy piece of shit should be held responsible, and he's even agreed with me that it wasn't GF's fault in past because he has done it before to someone else, sadly no evidence though. OP and my best friends aren't speaking to me anymore because they think im siding with her, and because i got angry and upset. I'm pretty distraught and just want some justification, Myself and GF were not the assholes right? Just having a hard time coming to grasp with the fact I now have no friendship group because of their actions.
TIA | HISTORICAL | {
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rUBYF0yQZR80KMAEFztke7E4xqKi25LL | ar3y2b | {
"description": "asking my neighbors to keep their dog on a lead",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my neighbors to keep their dog on a lead? | I had some neighbors move into the townhouse next to me a few months ago and their dog immediately starting shitting in the area between townhouses I have to walk through to get to my back yard and in my backyard itself (which is about 50 square feet). I was annoyed, but being passive aggressive but up a plastic chicken wire fence to stop the dog from coming into and pooping in my yard proper. They often let their dog roam around the neighborhood unsupervised which I wasn't a fan of since I have cats I occasionally like to bring outside fully supervised into our fenced in back yard and I don't want it scaring away my cats. Tonight I come home to the dog running through my now broken fence to play with a dog several townhouses down (which is always on a lead) and I finally went and asked them to keep their dog on a lead so it would stop shitting in my yard and so I feel safe in my yard with my cats. So AITA for asking them to keep their dog on a lead? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MUuSUF2SwH97ZfVjOMDcYH3TeIQkij9H | aoin2t | {
"description": "not notifying my mom directly that my husband got a job in my city",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not notifying my mom directly that my husband got a job in my city? | Here's some background. My husband and I live in different cities because I'm a grad student in a university two hours away from his job. He recently interviewed for a job in my city, and he got the job. I notified everyone on Facebook because, in my opinion, it's the quickest way to send everybody one message.
​
My mom is one of those really emotional and narcissistic moms. I'm not gonna start typing the details of who she is because it's just gonna be an enormous wall of text. But to save you reading and me typing, she's not a pleasant person to be around or to interact with. Anyway, I am emotionally distant from her for all those reasons. I don't care to call her, text her, or anything like that. I love being away from her. She thinks that she's entitled to be some kind of special queen to me just because she's my mom, but things don't work that way. She's not a terrible person by any means. She's just a really unpleasant person.
​
Anyway, fast forward. During the interviewing/waiting part, I asked a million people to pray for him. About two weeks after the interview, he got the offer. The day before, something funny happened, but I'll talk about it in r/funny or some other sub that's more appropriate. Anyway, he got the job. I notified everyone on Facebook and thanked everyone for praying for us. Then I get a text from my mom and, well, she's basically upset because I didn't notify her directly. Blah blah blah "it's as if you don't have a family" blah blah blah "you show no interest in your family" blah blah blah. Whatever, mom. If you wanted me to show interests maybe you should've treated me better when I was living with you instead of unconditionally favoring my siblings over me. (I didn't actually tell her that, but I was thinking it.)
​
Anyway, AITA for not notifying her directly? Do you think it should be an obligation to notify family members directly and whatnot? | HISTORICAL | {
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iyrxr6UQImRU1M7AJUo6jj8EBYg4sD2W | b6g1i9 | {
"description": "just chatting",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA I was just chatting. | Ok first of all I'm on mobile so, formatting.
Second of all English is not my first language so bear with me please.
TL;DR At the bottom
I'm a college student in Mexico and I met a girl in a random class like a month ago She has/had a 2 year long relationship with a guy from other random classroom and I have a 4 year long relationship with a girl who doesn't attend to my University.
The problem is this, early in the week(Tuesday) my class was obligated to attend a play in the auditorium of the university, (keep in mind that the random girl doesn't have the same class that I have) so I went to the play and I see the Boyfriend of this girl.
I say hi, he says hi back, then I notice that a girl in the crowd is selling candy so I bought some candy and he is hanging with her.
No big deal, nothing bad he and she are just two friends hanging out
Cut back to today. I have class with his Girlfriend and she tells me that her boyfriend says hi, I tell her that I bought some candy of him, she looks at me confused and I rectify,
-"well I didn't bougth it from he , I bought it from his lady friend"
This girl gets All red and angry then she storms out from the classroom directly to argue with her boyfriend.
The class ends, she enter the classroom and tells me that she broke up with the guy and now HE wants to "have a talk with me" obviously the guy wants to fight me. So I speak with the teacher and she sends a security guy, he escorted me to my car but the boyfriend (ex at this point) was all the time behind me just watching me super angry.
Am I the asshole just because a told this girl that her boyfriend was hanging out with a girl?
TL;DR
A girl in my class broke up with her 2 year old relationship just because I told her that her boyfriend was hanging out with a random girl. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
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6idlN0qTiAFsLtrpmUBVG2S3Np1JEEfW | 9th019 | {
"description": "calling out people arguing on reddit as both being assholes, then subsequently Karma Whoring it here",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for calling out people arguing on reddit as both being assholes, then subsequently Karma Whoring it here? | Yes. I am. But I’m still curious to see if anybody thinks I’m not. [This](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk/comments/9t6ia5/comment/e8w8i1q?st=JNZIK2O2&sh=2f75d5ee) is the link to my callout, so you can view the whole argument and my comment in context.
Sorry for being an asshole for being too lazy to tldr the argument here.
Meh, I’ll just do it anyways and, like an asshole, not change that last statement because I’m too lazy. Redditor leaves a snarky comment calling another redditor racist for a comment that if it was racist was likely only unintentionally so. Second redditor turns it around on them by unnecessarily claiming that the accuser is racist for assuming the race of the people in the story and what they meant by their comment, even though they’re technically right and the first redditor is either being racist, a snowflake, or both. After wasting my own time scrolling through their argument, I then make myself the asshole by engaging in their petty bullshit, calling it out for what it is and them for what they are, blame them for “making” me make myself an asshole, and then further make myself an asshole by karma whoring it here, like a total asshole.
Let the karma flow in, assholes.
Sorry, you guys aren’t actually assholes but I needed to add that last bit of assholery because I need to prove myself right in that I’m an asshole and it would be an epic way to end the post if it went viral. Like an asshole, I’ll just repeat myself since it would be that epic.
So, let the karma flow in, assholes | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
AneYBGPBliN7xYowz5F88S6Y9i6DRmJn | a0f9xp | {
"description": "writing my friend a check instead of buying a thoughtful Christmas present",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA if I write my friend a check instead of buying a thoughtful Christmas present | My good friend bought me a ticket to an event for Christmas that we recently attended. I am going out with her next month to celebrate Christmas. I am extremely busy and don’t have time to find a thoughtful gift and I know that if she could ask for anything she would want cash to pay debt. AITA if I just get her a nice card and a check for the amount she spent on me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
c7PkJWxfF26ov75ntb2nyknLNGCkK7xd | ad3dim | {
"description": "not returning my alcoholic dad's phone calls",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not returning my alcoholic dad's phone calls? | My dad was verbally abusive and is a mean alcoholic who made my and my family miserable until I moved out and my parent's got divorced. I feel that I have forgiven him, but I associate him with the man who emotionally neglected me and done so many hurtful things to us, and I can't bring myself to call him back with all of painful memories of my life at home.
I'm so much happier without him in my life. Am I an asshole for not returning his phone calls? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
WInplVFl8hatN8w6tlcwYpFko9gUviCm | akifmg | {
"description": "causing this friendship to fall apart",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for causing this friendship to fall apart | I've been blocked by a friend that I've known for over 15 years, i had grown up with this person as one of my best friends , after i messaged them too much and was acting strange.
To give this some context, i have quite severe abandonment complex and paranoia that i have to treat with medication, i occasionally get severe delusional states where i think my body is full of tumours or some serious illness, this tends to lead to really strange and irrational behaviour .
The person in question moved away a few years back, we'd been best friends for 6 years and we promised to stay in touch by social media, a few months after the person had left my abandonment complex had a really bad flair up i ended up messaging them too much and they blocked me.
I felt incredibly guilty about this for years and blamed myself.
Some time goes by and i end up back in contact with this person through another friend, we catch up and they apologise for blocking me, I explain that if they pick up on that behaviour to very clearly tell me so i can take my medication , not to mute or block me.
One of my relatives died and it set off a really bad cascade, I became convinced that I was terminally ill and didn't have much time left, I began indulging in dangerous behaviour unusual for me, smoking, drinking ect, i ended up messaging this person and others with really pointless stuff and small talk in a strange way to make up for my limited time and the gap in years, once i got incredibly drunk and hit on this person i apologised, i dont really know how to describe it because the train of thought wasn't rational.
Eventually this person blocked me again, after being put into hospital and given anti psychotics i came back to reality and realised how much of a dick i had been.
My friends all know that i have this illness and to tell me when im spiralling to help me, i just felt like a burden to this person. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
daQzF7KhBsHhJ7lLJapr5j8pRHZisbNs | aw5flm | {
"description": "getting upset with my roommate for inviting his brother over",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA For getting upset with my roommate for inviting his brother over? | So, for context, I have 2 roommates. One we will call C, and one we will call F. While C and I get along just fine, I find that F and I butt heads a lot. Not that F is a bad guy, he is a clean and organized roommate, just not a great friend.
Now, C has a girlfriend named M, who has never seen Lord of the Rings in her life. In fact, she just doesn't do movies well and finds action movies dull. So C and I were both surprised when we convinced her to try Lord of the Rings the following night.
Now, M has a bad attention span with action movies, so I figured I would play it safe. I love watching movies with people who have never seen them. It let's me re-experience the movies through a different set of eyes. And I really cherish the LoTR films so I wanted her to have the best experience possible. I asked F is he was planning on having anybody over that night, and when he confirmed he wasn't, I asked if he could keep it that way. I told him what we were watching, and that I didn't want too many people there to distract her from the movie. He seemed to be a little put off, but he asked if he could watch it with us, to which I said "of course dude, it's your apartment too".
Well, we get M over to watch the movie and get about 30 minutes in. M is watching intently, only talking to ask questions, and genuinely enjoying it.
When we hear a knock on the door. It was F's younger brother, who we will call F2. Now, F2 was like 2 years younger than the rest of us, and is a really nice dude. F said he wanted him over to watch the movie too. So we say "um, sure", and F2 finds a seat.
Within 2 minutes, the brothers are now talking about their days and just random stuff in general. This goes on for a few minutes, and it wasn't exactly quiet. I noticed that M has started looking back at them, So I pause the movie, and just asked "are you done? We're trying to watch a movie."
This got under F's skin, and he shot back that this was his apartment too, and he didn't like being told what to do. I responded that any other night, I wouldn't care, but tonight was a special night. And I asked him to respect that, to which he said he felt disrespected anyway. So he and F2 left.
We then watched the rest of the movie and M really enjoyed it. Asking when we could watch the 2nd one.
I just tried talking with F about it, and he responded with hostility, stating that I put too much stake in movies and should care more about people. He also said that he invited his brother because I had asked him not to, and he said I had no right, to keep him from having people over.
So… thoughts | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
KLWw7JeDXWCjxuh8GWqPc6ysLzYZBo5b | ak8dia | {
"description": "not tipping at a self serve frozen yogurt place",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not tipping at a self serve frozen yogurt place? | The yogurt place in question is Froyoland. I used to go there all the time with my dad, but he became a health nut and so we stopped going. I went there the other day with my GF after having not been for months, and they had a new fancy register. This one looked like an IPad and would swivel so that the customer could sign when they use credit and swipe and stuff.
Now in case you don’t know, Froyoland is self serve. You pick up a cup, then you fill it from the frozen yogurt machines and add toppings. At the end you put your cup on a scale and you pay based on weight.
So I was a little confused when this fancy screen payment thing asked me what percent I wanted to tip. I chose 0%.
So here’s my deal. For one, I have no clue who I would be tipping, and for two, no one working there helped me do anything, so I do not see a reason to tip really. It’s not like a restaurant where the server, well, serves you. But on the other hand, I know some companies and restaurants are allowed to pay their workers less because they expect tips (which is messed up in itself, but that’s for another time and place). I don’t know if Froyoland is one of those places, and if by not tipping, I’m depriving the workers of their fair salaries.
AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
BPcNWTyJ8vtRezsrOCtUe7PMTCUM583y | ag6ewo | {
"description": "telling my (now ex) girlfriend that I can't keep listening to her problems about her parents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my (now ex) girlfriend that I can't keep listening to her problems about her parents? | So, I (22 M) had a breakup recently (1.5 years), and one of the things she (20 F) cited as a reason she fell out of love with me was that approximately six months in, I had told her that I just couldn't keep listening to her talk about how her family doesn't approve of me and how they're influencing their thoughts.
Background: Her family is conservative/traditional to the point where they would only allowed her to marry within her culture. I am not of the same culture but we had met at work, developed feelings for each other and tried something out that got really serious. She told her parents about me and they immediately disapproved but we saw each other anyway.
I tried my best to tell her that, despite how her parents may be making her feel, ultimately they love her and want the best life for her, even if it seems that they're being close-minded.
These conversations happened at least twice a month.
She traveled out of the country and told me how her parents were trying to find a husband for her. We had talked about that, as it was a real possibility at the time but she had assured me that she wouldn't get married off. I didn't want to make her choose between her parents and me so I tried to break things off. We ended up back together.
After that she would tell me how her parents and siblings would lecture her about me. There were things about our relationship that she had doubts on (mainly things far off into the future) and, using what she described as "emotional manipulation", her family preyed on.
Our disagreements about our future used to be discussed honestly and openly. There were things that we could and couldn't compromise over but the best part was that we respected each other's firm points. What her family would do is talk about how we were raised differently and grew up in different lifestyles and couldn't possibly be compatible. She recounted to me tearful exchanges with her family and I tried my best to reaffirm her of my feelings and the lengths that I would go.
Then, I couldn't take it anymore.
Each of those conversations would wear me down little by little. I could handle her parents talking down, speaking poor of and generally hating me, but what was eating away at me was that she mind kept getting swayed and the possibility of a break up always lingered. The best way that I could describe it was that if it were me and her against her parents (so to speak) that I would be alright, but it felt like I was now going against all of them by myself. So, I told her this and that I can't keep reassuring her feelings everytime her parents tried to break them down. I needed reassurance too.
Since then, our relationship had been a myriad of highs and lows and she had for the most part she had stopped with stuff like that.
She broke up with me a month ago and on the phone call, she told me that she felt like she couldn't talk to me about anything anymore. She was afraid I would be dismissive or distant if she had told me stuff like that. She said that she had been "fangirlling" over this new person she met. How nice he was. How he listened to her and how he truly understood what struggle she was going through.
I'll admit that there were a few times that this topic came up again and I would frustratingly say things like "not this shit again." I now know in hindsight, she wanted me to keep reassuring her of my feelings through words, rather than actions.
I was at work today and something reminded me of her, so now I'm up at 3am trying to figure out if there's a learning opportunity, if this was a shitty situation or if I shouldn't be as regretful as I am. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TZK8P8FeQybY4KFoQC683r2ABbokWfE6 | axllt3 | {
"description": "not wanting to tell my girlfriend exactly when I watch porn",
"pronormative_score": 92,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not wanting to tell my girlfriend exactly when I watch porn | So me (19M) and my girlfriend (17F) of 1 year have a disagreement. We only see each other during the weekend. During the week I study in a city far away from the place she lives.
I watch porn during the week. She still dislikes it that I do it, but has grown to accept it. The conversation about porn come up today again and she now wants me to tell her i do it, while doing it. She says it calms her to know it.
I don’t agree with this however. It ashames me and makes me feel uncomfortable. After I did the deed, I just want to get it out of my mind. It’s just something I want to do alone for a quick relief, no strings attached.
I don’t really know how to put it properly in words how I feel. Do other guys feel the same?
Am I unreasonable for not wanting to tell her immediately after I watched porn? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 80,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 92,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
FzsDeLhvOR60QDxVDe1I6jb1gJokpqKI | ave52w | {
"description": "refusing a ride from my mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing a ride from my mom | I'm a mobile user and have an extremely cracked screen so please forgive any spelling or formatting mistakes.
(Also if by some random chance there's a YouTuber reading this please don't post it there because I would much rather have this be contained in Reddit as someone I mention here may see the video.)
My mom isn't exactly the best mother. She has her good days and her bad days and while she means well sometimes most of the time what she says can really hurt.
So this morning she happened to go to work later than usual. She made me and my brother breakfast but I refused because I wouldn't be able to make it to the bus if I stopped to eat. She responds by saying a couple of rude comments about my outfit of choice and then offer to drive me to school so I could eat.
After she left the table I told my brother we had to leave for the bus. He told me we had to stay and let my mom drive us to school. I tell him he can stay with my mom while I get on the bus since I didn't want to be in the car with her this morning after what she said. He called me rude and claimed that if I go he'll be forced to go too because I'm the little sibling and my mom says he has to watch over me. (Though that isn't true as my mom has let me go to the bus stop alone many times.)
I say goodbye to my mom and tell her I'm going to the bus stop. She looks disappointed but alright with my choice. I leave for the bus and when I look behind myself my brother is following me to the bus. When I ask him why he didn't go with mom all he says is: "You made her sad." And we wait for the bus in silence.
Am I the asshole? It's been eating me up since it happened (about an hour and a half ago) | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Zp31KmEgtHdKst8V1ppRbyOLJTDxyncP | 9zjrf1 | {
"description": "cutting my sister out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting my sister out of my life? | A little background. My sister, 28, and I, 24, were very close growing up. Out of our family, she was the only one who shared interests with me, and was one of the only people I was ever close to as a result. Around 7 years ago, she began a habit of white lies that evolved into lying to everyone in her life. I used to spend a ton of time with her, almost every single weekend, hanging out and driving her to places as she had no vehicle. I can say that out of every person in her life that I saw here interact with or speak to me about, she lied to. I naively thought that since we were so close, I was the one person she never lied to, and when I eventually found out I was no exception, it started a several year-long back and forth deal where sometimes we would argue and sometimes we would be back to normal. Along with me, this "we" includes my dad as I currently live with him while attending college.
One day, we discovered she was addicted to heroin and various other painkillers when she overdosed in her house with her daughter present(8), who ran down the street to a neighbor's for help. My sister was charged with child endangerment and spent 1 year in prison along with mandatory drug rehabilitation. After her release a few months ago, I thought she had finally changed for the better and we were back on friendly terms. She asked me to drive her to a friend's house to borrow some clothes where I waited in the car, and when we returned to my house, she collapsed, and later admitted that she had bought drugs from the friend and used them at home. Her daughter was also present at the time. I feel I should mention, my dad gained full custody of my niece and she's been affected heavily by all this. She has behavioural issues and regularly lies to everyone, and is seeing a counselor and therapist each week. About a month ago, during an argument over my dad refusing to give back custody immediately, my sister(who is recently pregnant) yelled that if she can't have her daughter back, she will just replace her with another kid. Again my niece was present at the time.
This last act of betrayal has left me feeling... done. She contacted me via Facebook begging for my forgiveness, saying that she really will change now and that she misses her baby brother and wants us to go back to how we always were. I told her she was no longer the sister I grew up with and that I never want to see or speak to her again, and blocked her. She was over for Thanksgiving today, and I refused to look at or talk to her for the day.
My entire family believes I'm being very unfair by not forgiving her, and they tell me everyone deserves a chance and that she has suffered enough without me giving her more stress by acting this way. My niece regularly approaches me and asks things like "why won't you talk to mommy?" I know addiction is an absolutely horrible thing, and it can grip you so firmly that even if you do want help, it can be hard to change. I'm beginning to feel guilty and as if I'm just being selfish by being unable to let go of the past and support her.
Am I being unfair? Should I suck it up and let her back in my life? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
o26r50iA8TfFtHaHfnPabEBJu0RBwDU2 | 9x7avb | {
"description": "making my boyfriend lose his seat on the train",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for making my [23F] boyfriend [23M] lose his seat on the train? | We were sitting together on the train during peak hour so the train was getting pretty full. Some people were standing up. This lady gets on the train and is standing near me. She is a bit older, maybe in her 50s, and looks like she could use the seat more than me so I offer it to her.
So I've given her my seat now I have to stand up. There's not much space so I decide to move to a different part of the carriage. I don't know why but I kinda expected my boyfriend would get up and come with me. I didnt see it as a big deal. But as I moved down I noticed he wasn't coming with me. Now let me say that I would not care at all if he came or not; he could keep his seat if he wanted and I wouldn't mind standing elsewhere. But I didn't realise he didn't want to get up. I made eye contact with him and gestured for him to come with me to stand somewhere else. He seemed hesitant but I didn't take much note of this and thought he just wasn't understanding my gestures (the train was very quiet so I didn't want to talk outloud).
So then he got up and we found another place to stand. Then he said, "Why did you do that?"
I said "What?"
He complained about my giving up my seat and then making him move as well. He said I shouldn't have given the lady my seat and should have just remained seated. He was annoyed that I asked him to get up and thus made him lose his seat.
Well again I just didn't see it this way. I give people my seat all the time as I'm young and fit, and feel guilty to make older people stand up. And I didn't see it as a big deal to stand up on the train, but apparently it was a big deal to him. Eventually he said "It's ok don't worry, just don't do it again." Well I didn't realise he felt like this and again I wouldn't have cared if he stayed seated and I went elsewhere. But I didn't realise that is what he wanted at the time. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
eBw9xwk1q5bC8WVu9OB5Jd5NPRvlPdxX | af4h4p | {
"description": "being mad at my mother because she chose to stay in an abusive and toxic marraige which gave my brother and I mental health issues for life",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being mad at my mother because she chose to stay in an abusive and toxic marraige which gave my brother and I mental health issues for life? | My dad is an alcoholic, narcissistic and selfish parent. My mother had many chances to call it quits but never did ("because all marriages require effort"). Their fightings and abuse have scarred and damaged my kid brother and me. I absolutely resent my mother for putting up with him. Should I be accepting? Or is this rage valid? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5nx2AH6vZfWF0N7iLHZdXLIL8MZh0oDA | b1leb0 | {
"description": "breaking up with my trans gf",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I broke up with my trans gf? | I (22F) have been dating my significant other (22MtF) for 7 years, on and off since high school. At New Years this year, she came out to me as trans. It wasn’t entirely unprecedented, as I had been the more dominant partner and she’d done some feminine things in the bedroom (cross dressing, enjoying being called she, and other more explicit things).
I wasn’t sure what to think, and half-hoped it wasn’t serious. It seems she is, and has been taking more steps to embrace her female gender. She’s still closeted, since her parents are openly transphobic (her dad especially, step mom less verbosely). Additionally, her friends overall are also conservative (I think she may have confided in two or three now).
For brief background on myself, I’m pansexual and also raised conservative Christian. I am not out to my family, and always thought I’d keep it that way as, despite being pansexual, I have little interest in a long term relationship with women.
Now with my boyfriend becoming my girlfriend, that would obviously have to change if we continue our relationship. We love each other very much, but the uncertainty and drastic change around this has me very confused. I’m even wondering how pansexual I truly am, which doesn’t help. I’m starting to wonder if I’d prefer our relationship to be platonic instead.
We’re long distance, but I’ll be seeing her in person next week for the first time since she’s come out to me (several states difference, her university just started its spring break). I think this will decide a lot on how I feel romantically and sexually towards her, as it’s hard to judge my feelings without being with her.
But, if I’m being totally honest, even if I’m still attracted and in love with her, I don’t know if I want the fallout of a lesbian/trans relationship from our families. It seems like a lot of drama and trouble, and I honestly don’t know how my family will react (negatively definitely, but I don’t know if it’ll range from quiet disapproval or all the way to disinheritance). It’s just never even been a hypothetical to them nor do they speak much on LGBT issues, so I don’t have much framework to predict them (contrast to my gf’s parents who will definitely be well past quiet disapproval). I love my family dearly and rely on them.
My greatest conundrum is my girlfriend not having a significant support system besides myself (and to be clear, I absolutely support her). If we break up, she won’t have that backup (I still want to be friends, but I think being in close contact after breaking off a seven year long relationship would be more painful than it’s worth without a break). She’s got an online forum of anonymous folks (not Reddit, she doesn’t like the layout) and has just started therapy.
I also started therapy to work through my feelings and thoughts on the matter. I think part of this post is to vent but also, WIBTA if I broke up with her? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1589M7ogn7EGGA6L6tCuikFIxgyoJ6vx | b3lgi3 | {
"description": "telling an awkward coworker he's coming on too strong",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I tell an awkward coworker he’s coming on too strong? | I have a coworker that I genuinely think is a good guy, but I don’t think he realizes how he’s coming off. Once he gets started on a topic he’s interested in he will follow you around and go on and on about it. He also says inappropriate stuff sometimes.
The reason I want to address his behavior now though is because he’s making another coworker visibly uncomfortable. The other coworker is very shy. I’ve heard her speak only a handful of times besides when she’s dealing with customers. Today he was talking about video game to her and doing his follow her around thing. She wasn’t looking at him or responding. I saw her walk all the way to the back of the store, then turn around and walk all the way to the front without doing anything. It seemed obvious that she was just trying to get away from him, but he seemed oblivious.
When she walked back to the front I tried to pull his attention to me by making a comment about a video game I like, but he just said that he didn’t play it and right back to her.
I don’t think he means any harm, that he just doesn’t read social cues very well. I know the other employee is an adult and it’s not really my place to speak for her and maybe I should just mind my own business. Even if I did decide to pull him aside I have no idea how to word it without hurting his feelings. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FiEyBNB0goILWWOehr6nIhsMrKTlCiCQ | ay7q27 | {
"description": "not talking to my gf for 10-12 days",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not talking to my gf for 10-12 days? | It is impossible to understand this story without context. TL;DR at the bottom
We were both in high school, we met each other through the Science Olympiad tryouts. She was passionate about microbiology and I was passionate about biochemistry, so we covered each other's blind spots during our competitions. Over our first year of events, we grew fond of each other, leading to a romantic relationship. We both wanted to study at the same college, and both wanted to work in a lab.
After a decent amount of time together, I started developing symptoms of what later would be diagnosed as Hepatitis C. I told her immediately, and at the time I was not aware of any affordable treatment. She didn't mind and behaved normally, which I appreciated. However, after a couple of weeks, she began pointing out all visible symptoms during our conversations, most commonly jaundice and weight loss. It was irritating, because in the matter of half a month, she went from regular conversations to a continuous description of my condition.
I told her to avoid talking about it. I was looking into human trials for Hep C treatments in other countries, but she wouldn't stop. So one evening I sent her a text saying "I'm not quite comfortable talking to you. I'd like to take a break for a while until everything quiets down. I'm sorry." She replied with a "That's ok, take your time." It seemed like she understood her mistake and wanted to give me time to recover.
After 1-2 weeks of just greeting each other in the hallways, I was ready to get back into normal routine with her. I had found a relatively safe treatment that I would be taking over the summer, and was planning to tell her. Surely then she would stop mentioning my condition.
But now she began avoiding me in public, ignoring me if I tried to talk to her, blocked my email, phone number, social media etc., leaving one edited message: "Hi thanks I'm done with you."
From that day on, not a single word was exchanged. I tried asking for forgiveness, taking all the blame for ruining our relationship, asking her friends why she is acting that way... But nothing came of it. She just kept ghosting me.
It has been over 2 years, and I'm free of HCV and its symptoms now. I'm a freshman in college and she's still a senior in high school. I visited my high school a few days ago to chit-chat with my old professors, and she still avoided me in the hallways. To me, it seems like she hasn't matured one bit.
So, AITA for handling the situation like I did? Is she TA and should I just move on without closure?
TLDR; I get diagnosed with Hep C in high school. SO finds out, won't stop mentioning it in conversations. We both decide to take a break for my own sanity. When I find affordable treatment for Hep C, SO ghosts me. 2 years later, she still hides when she sees me in public. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
MVwmMeKh5XPdk9noYFiymVLnAcQUyw9Y | auv2mw | {
"description": "calling someone out when they tried to advertise in a post that I wrote to advertise my business",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AItA For calling someone out when they tried to advertise in a post that I wrote to advertise my business? | I made an ad for a side business I do in a local community facebook page. Someone commented with a link to their business and I sent him a message telling him that if he wanted to advertise, he could write his own posts instead of trying to hijack mine.
Am I the Asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dkm7mXnxdgVzXskLTVhUQz7GMJoIIPvq | ab9trt | null | WIBTA if ask my dead dad's sisters if he tried to molest them like my mom claims ? |
My dad died when I was 5.(21 years ago)
My mom's ex became very possessive of me after that and prohibited any contact with my dad's family. We was very physically,emotionally, and psychologically abusive. He began molesting me at age 6 and eventually used me as a sexual object until I was 12. I told my mom when it was first started, but she still stayed with him when he promised to never do it again. After that she didn't know it continued until I was 12 and we had finally moved away from him.
She confronted him. She believed his stories at first, that I seduced him (at 12) and that it was only once. When I finally convince her of my truth, she tried to get money out of him instead of going to the authorities.
I ended up breaking down in school one day, and told a close friend my secret. She made me tell a counselor and a case was started. My mom was angry with me and began making me feel guilty. More victims were found and a 6 year long court case started which ended in 150 years for him.
My mom visited him, provided him things and even took me to see him in jail during the case. He started signing his possession to her (house,cars.. etc) because of my younger sibling. Well, my mom started guilting me to go easy on him. Examples: "you're leaving your brother without a dad too", "you enjoyed it, so it isn't as bad as real rape","you let it happen too long".
Finally, she told me that I shouldn't judge him so hard because he was no different than my dad. My mom confirmed what her ex told me about my dad being physically and emotionally abusive. She also added that he tried to sexually assault/rape my aunts in his youth.. therefore I shouldn't condemn my abuser for a mistake...something a long those lines. She has hidden the truth of what happened from everybody ( telling people he dated 16yr olds, instead of molesting 5-12 yr olds)and prohibited me from telling anybody what happened to me. She says that if i tell my truth, I'll simply become the girl that was raped to everybody.
I've been reconnecting with family ever since I turned 18. I've slowly begun to talk to them about what my life has been, and have been working through my trauma in my own way. I have revealed the truth to the uncle I am closest to about my abuse... but not the money part, or the part about my dad being a sex offender (he knows I know about the other abuse though). Being around my dad's family only makes me want answers even more though.
I want to ask them, but I know this question wouldn't stay private and the whole family would then get involved and my mom would be told something.i have no idea if this is family knowledge or still my aunt's secrets.. so this could potentially out them as victims.
I had a falling out with my recently due to other bad things, but I still love her. She is the only parent I have left, and she busted her ass to support me and my siblings. When I went through my divorce, she took me and my daughter in and provided for me until I got on my feet. I am so confused and I feel so hurt that I am even in this situation.
If its true, then I bring up old trauma for the family and out my mom for trying fo defend my rapist.
If it's a lie, I will know the extent my mom would go to protect my rapist.
Either way, I would be destroying my relationship with my mom further and hurting my dad family in the process,
WIBTA for asking my aunts to reveal their sexual trauma to the family and/or outing my mom as a rapist protector liar.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
G6VlYoPB3t5tYf4oPDxF2aUOwWRc3aQt | avmvxn | {
"description": "leaving a note for my neighbor regarding his trash",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I left a note for my neighbor regarding his trash? | So, I live in a fairly nice/expensive apartment complex in a good area. I get along really well with the neighbor in question 99% of the time. For the last week, he’s been leaving his trash bags out on his porch instead of walking them to the dumpster like a normal person. I know it’s not a huge deal, but it’s a big pet peeve of mine. WIBTA if I left an anonymous note that just said something like “hi, please remember to take your trash to the dumpster!”?
I feel like maybe I’m overreacting, but SERIOUSLY, I just hate walking by and seeing trash bags. This is a nice complex. Forgive me, but I think that’s pretty.........trashy. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
FpdP38uyPOoPJpo19IV91QLhUdZLITtc | b8eeda | {
"description": "dealing with a stinky coworker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for dealing with a stinky coworker | I have a coworker who smells constantly. He’s a bigger guy, often late the work and greasy. Constantly sweaty, even though he’s sitting down at a desk the entire day. The smell is pretty bad, people have moved desks and don’t like sitting next to him. It’s common knowledge, and people always talk about it but never confront him or let him know.
The odor reminds me of back when I was in high school with two brothers. It is reminiscent of wearing the same socks for a couple days in a row and coming home from basketball or football practice. It’s old sweat, the kind that hasn’t been washed away and covered up with shit cologne or axe. It’s an odor that permeates your surrounds and there is no way to avoid it.
I’m the type of person who doesn’t avoid conflict. While this isn’t a conversation I want to have with someone, one night we both were together late and I told him that he had an odor. He thanked me for letting him know, and for a couple weeks it went away. Soon enough, it came back and he was back to his old habits. Instead of letting it fill his general facility, he started dosing himself in axe during his breaks and coming back smelling like a middle school locker room.
Again I talked to him, and I suggested this detergent I use that is amazing for removing bad smells from clothes. For a while, he smelt like fresh linen before again going back to smelling like a used jock strap. So I took matters a bit further, I bought a diffuser with fresh linen scent and put it on his desk. This is where things escalated.
One of the guys I work with said “dude just so you know X is telling everyone you’re harassing him and he can’t do anything about the smell. I want to let you know I’m on you’re side but you need to get ahead of this”. So I went over and apologized, he was visibly upset but I tried to give my side saying I was trying to help and I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.
Well that backfired, apparently he had already submitted a compliant to HR. We had a lovely conversation about criticizing personal appearance. I was told he has no control over his body odor, I asked if there was a medical reason or any documentation stating he didn’t. Considering he would go through phases actually cleaning his clothes and showering it definitely wasn’t medical - but they did say I’m causing him to have panic attacks.
Anyway, resolution was a simple verbal warning and to leave the situation alone. Okay sure, went back about my business no problem. Well, word spread and some people actually think what I was doing was intentional. Like I was trying to somehow harass him into taking showers and clean himself. While most people doing give a shit, there’s a collective group appealing to him playing the victim while trying to make the most drama out of this they can.
It has me second guessing my decisions, they aren’t worth the repercussions. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
uUxEjM4AqqjjaLafYYij8sIiXgJMbRwv | b6yla2 | {
"description": "denying my co-worker's request to take every Monday off all summer long",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 166
} | AITA for denying my co-worker’s request to take every Monday off all summer long? | A guy who reports to me scheduled 14 consecutive Mondays off as PTO. (Personal Time Off.)
I’m not sure why he thinks that’s okay.
So all summer YOU will have 3-day weekends?
No, sir.
Am I tripping? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 166,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 45
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 166
} | WRONG |
uNIhNCO1ZhQKQiOtxkHKGHKVC4rtF9Dt | a5d02e | {
"description": "not getting my cousin from the bus station in the middle of the night because I was tired",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA [23F] for not getting my cousin [23F] from the bus station in the middle of the night because I was tired? | So a bit of back story. I just recently moved to a new state for work after graduation. My cousin happens to go to school in a relatively close neighboring state, but she lives 6 hours away so it wasn’t the best situation for her. She had previously been driving down for her class (she only has it one day a week) and then either driving back up that night or sleeping at a hotel and driving up the next morning. So since I moved she’d sleep at my place for a night and then leave. I would usually get her from the bus station, and drop her off, and some days I would even let her drive my car to her school which was about an hour and a half away from me. Which still wasn’t optimal but better than before.
So a couple of weeks ago I went to my home state on a business trip and was coming back up on the same day she came down. Great she could still stay at my place. So I let her know that I was driving up and she asked me when I’d be home I told her around 7pm-8pm which quickly turned to 8pm because it a couple of our stops and me having to take the rental car back all that. And she said she’d be there around the same time. I said where and she said my apartment. This is an important distinction because I live an hour away from the bus station meaning she would take the metro from the bus station to my apartment. And I said great and proceeded to complain about how tired I was if driving (my home state is 5 hours away). And it was only a two day trip (drove down, stayed the night, drive back up). So I’d been doing a lot of driving. And I was actually exhausted, and in top of that I had to work the next day.
Well 6pm rolls around and she tells me she’s stuck at a transfer stop and won’t be to the station until 8. My mental reaction was “Lol, okay well the metro is still running.” And all I said was “that sucks.” Didn’t hear from her until I get home and get settled and asked about where she is around 8:30. She calls me at almost 10 and she’s at a friends house eating dinner and then she invites me over and I’m like “No thanks, I’m tired.” Conversation got a little awkward and then I told her I was about to get ready for bed and let me know when she gets here. I honestly feel like this was a plot to get me to come up there so she wouldn’t have to take the metro (which I do admit would almost take 2 hours to get to my apartment) to me and would just ride with me when I came home. I get a text from her and she tells me she’s going to stay at her friends house for the night, but I should come over for dinner the next day. Once again I feel like this was just to get me to come get her and bring her home. Well I told her I had a lot to do and I didn’t hear from her after that until a few days ago. She wasn’t angry but she seemed a bit standoffish. We text quite frequently and that’s been the longest we haven’t talked to each other since I moved.
The semester is now over and I feel a bit relieved that she doesn’t have to come down weekly. But that also makes me feel a bit guilty because I shouldn’t be relieved to not see someone I care about.
AITA for not picking her up that night and feeling relieved she’s not coming anymore?
TL;DR I didn’t pick up my cousin, who was an hour away, after my 5 hour drive because I was tired. There was usable public transit but it would have taken longer for her to get to my apartment and it was late. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
h7z2dgiUwB6IFmMZzNfgR9Lp9qCZ1sFN | a9ilcl | {
"description": "being the stand up daddy",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for being the stand up Daddy? | Earlier this year I found out my three year old daughter was not my biological child. My wife had the affair and made me believe that she was mine from the start and I was over the moon, as I wanted nothing more than to be a father.
The bio-donor didnt want to be a father and let me think I was "Daddy" from the beginning. Paternity fraud, yadda yadda yadda.....
After my daughter was born, he would stay in touch with my wife and try to visit on the sly, still not taking responsibility.
It's been four years since he knew he was the father and my wife and I have separated for a few months as this was very hard to stomach. I have not ceased support or shared custody, as my daughter is wholly mine in my heart. He has never attempted to legally claim her.
I showed up unannounced at my house that she lives in, and found the bio-donor sitting on the couch with my daughter watching TV. I kicked his ass out of the house and told him I didnt want him around my daughter again. Made her mother mad.....SMDH | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
Te4634KTfIQIM6PJbnCh9SuA36NtlL64 | ayxlqf | {
"description": "not telling a guy I'm seeing that I slept with his close friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not telling a guy I’m seeing that I slept with his close friend? | I’ll try to keep this short but its kind of a messy situation. I have been good friends with two guys, Will and John. After about 2+ years of being just friends, Will and I started hooking up. Then a few months in when I tried to figure out what kind of relationship he wanted, Will sort of freaked out, got really depressed, told me we weren’t compatible / had no future, so I ended things with him.
In the meantime I was still really close with John- John is a huge flirt and has always been really touchy with me, etc. but I always read it as nothing serious. But one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I knew it was a bad idea because even if Will didn’t have feelings for me anymore, John and Will are super close and while we were together Will insisted a few times that John had feelings for me. John told me he didn’t care about hurting Will and that being with me was more
important. I didn’t really make a decision about John, but told him that maybe in the summer when we were back in the same state (he graduated college and moved back home, a few hours from my hometown) we could see if there was a point to us being more than friends.
I came back to school for spring semester and Will hit me up. He told me how much he missed me, how we belong together, etc. At first I got really mad at him because I really cared about him and the stuff he said before things ended sucked. But we talked through some stuff for a week and ended up back to basically dating without actually committing to it outloud.
Its been a couple months and even though Will and I technically aren’t in a committed relationship, I pretty much live at his apartment and I know he’s not seeing anyone else. He knows there have been other guys while we weren’t talking but he doesn’t know about John.
Will absolutely loves John- he kind of idolizes him. And even though John hasn’t been acting like it, I know he really cares about Will too. I don’t want to come between them. The only other person who knows is Will’s other best friend, this guy Tyler who is also one of my closest friends. I told Tyler right when it happened, back when Will and I weren’t even talking, and Tyler’s immediate reaction was that Will shouldn’t know because he would be really upset.
I want to talk to Will about what our relationship even is, but this secret has been holding me back. I really really don’t want him to be hurt or feel insecure. And I don’t want to damage a relationship Will really values. Obviously if Will asked me if anything happened between me and John, I wouldn’t lie to him. BUT he never has. AITA for not telling him about something that happened when we weren’t even talking? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
k6JhOY867aRr6u3wqRzvpeSuaPuUemq6 | asjexs | {
"description": "telling this kid to get away from my brother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling this kid to get away from my brother? | so, for context, we'll use this organisation system:
k- kid
me- me (duh)
km- kid's mom
m- my mom
b- brother
kd- kid's dad
so there was this kid that visited my family every so often, and to be honest, i liked their family alot. their mom was nice, their babies were adorableee, their dad was serious but chill, and then there was this kid. he liked to follow in his dad's footsteps and be serious, but he wasn't as relaxed.
my brother has mild autism, so he has no problem completing most tasks, but he is "socially impaired" if you will, that's how my mother said it to me when she first broke the news to me.
i love my brother a lot, but sometimes i can tell if he is distressed.
now, this other kid had an age difference of 3 days between him and my brother, and they weren't really friends, but just people to each other. they didn't hate each other, but his intimidation at times made my brother nervous.
one day, k visits my house, along with km, and kd, and their babies. if they visit my house, there is a 99% chance that it's for a party. this time, as soon as k enters, he immediately walks into b's room, without permission. that's fine with b. but, instead of even saying hi, he sits on the floor, with apple earbuds in, playing jurassic park builder. for context, if my door's open, i can see what's happening in b's room from my bed, considering that both doors are open. so, the conversation starts awkwardly as so:
b: hi mikey! (not using his actual name)
k: you made me misplace my building. hello, but be quiet. i'm trying to play.
*i notice he turns up the volume on his ipad*
now, my brother most likely doesn't receive negative responses from people his age, so he was confused, and his "social impairment" kicks in
b: oh
*b opens up 3ds and starts playing tomodachi life*
moments later, this kid walks down to the basement where people are using my ps3 (again, fine with me)
my brother follows, and i decide to go as well
another cousin of mine, who was playing nba 2k14, and whom i still keep in touch with to this day, goes: "ey timmy! how's my best friend doing?"
the next conversation goes:
k: no, he's my best friend! i was in his room the whole time!
cousin: (*while switching the game to plants vs zombies*) were you talking to him?
k: yea!
me: are you sure about that?
k: yea! i said hello!
me: you also not only told him to stop bothering him, you hurt his feelings. he gets sensitive easily! (another one of his autistic traits)
k: *starts crying* *calls mom*
km arrives, and instead of yelling at us, she simply says:
km: stop. come upstairs.
k: but op hurt my feelings!
km: and you're embarassing me. come upstairs, talk to the adults
k: ok... *tears fall*
k and family leave 30 min later, and that would be the last time i would ever see the kid again, because they moved from toronto to north carolina for work
so aita for telling that kid to get away from my brother?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uNdy5tKKfO0HXAgZ7aa3LkBAQQhepsre | a26usb | {
"description": "not wanting to get a job with my girlfriend at a place where she hooked up with a different guy (coworker) around the time we met",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to get a job with my girlfriend at a place where she hooked up with a different guy (coworker) around the time we met? | So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other since roughly the end of August 2017. Around that time she got a part time job at an event business with one of her good female friends. Now fast forward to today, we have been talking for a few weeks about me getting a job there also part time just to help with bills because we now live together. As we're driving and talking about the possibilities of people finding out that we are dating, she says that there's something she has to tell me, but that it shouldn't be a problem. After about 20 minutes of me having to coax it out of her, she tells me that when she first got the job there, she had sex with somebody who worked there. Now I immediately said that I no longer have any desire to work there. This person still works there and that means there's endless possibilities for things to go wrong in my mind, not to mention this place already has a toxic and gossipy group of employees.
To be clear, my issue is not so much that it happened, but more so that she just didn't tell me any of this until the very last minute, and she also can't seem to understand why I now refuse to even think about working there.
My other big problem is that I know our timeline as far as our dating history, and she seems to be changing it to fit her story. And I also need to mention that she confessed to sleeping with somebody else about a week or so after we started seeing each other, AND I FUCKING LET THAT SLIDE
So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
u71mrAGp2Ow6LP4tmxhceAYxvVXGs8YP | askb8x | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to go to frat parties without me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend (18f) to go to frat parties without me (19m). | Me and my girlfriend are freshmen in college and although we've only been together four months we're moving quite fast and things have been very serious for at least three of those months. I'm not in a frat and my girlfriend isn't in a sorority but she has friends in sororities and occasionally gets invited to frat parties with them,
I have always held that she's free to go to such parties with her friends, but I'm clearly very uncomfortable with it so she has respected my wishes (despite me telling her to go) and not gone to any since we've been together.
Recently though this is putting some strain on out relationship because she very much wants to go to these parties but I can't look her in the eye and say I'm okay with her going. This in turn has made me feel very much like an asshole because I'm in effect keeping her from having fun with her friends.
The thing I can't get over though is what she's gonna enjoy at these parties because although she'll go with her friends, I very much know that once you get there it's literally just dancing - grinding on random dudes - and occasionally hooking up with frat guys. Now I'm secure enough in our relationship that I don't think there's the slightest chance she'd hook up with a frat guy (at least not by choice), but it's basically inevitable that she'll be dancing on some guys as that's literally all there is to do there and it very much makes me uncomfortable.
Also, she doesn't drink either so it's not just the fun of going out getting drunk with friends, maybe I'm missing something but I really don't see what she could possibly enjoy out of it other than dancing on other guys which doesn't make sense to me since she seems to be very much in love with me and we're very much exclusive.
TLDR: My girlfriend wants to go to frat parties with her friends. This makes me uncomfortable as I don't see what the parties have to offer other than grinding on dudes. I tell her she can go but that it would make me a little uncomfortable. She doesn't go and makes me feel like an asshole for "not letting her go". Am I truly the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
nuWN5itjEOxYzp3Mgks1qNEZLev6iVy7 | ay7rwu | null | Aita because my mom dissaproves of my freind? | (Obligitory warning for mobile)
So I have a few things to say. Mainly that I love my mom. She's a great person and I love her. However I feel like she overstepped here. This has all blown over now and she's calmed down alot, but I just wanted to put this on the Internet and see what y'all think.
I have a freind (henceforth known as kid) who's a trans guy. My mom doesn't know this, and still believes he is a girl, and that's kinda important. At this point me and my girlfriend had been dating for about two months at this point (were still together now, and I love her a lot) dispite this, me and kid were still best friends. My mom didn't like this. She began to try and police my freindships under the guise of trying help mine and gf's relationship.
Up until this point it was minor things, like telling me she didn't like me staying up to talk to him. (I didnt, my bedtime hadn't changed I was just sleeping later) then it reached a peak when she took my phone and looked through it. It was the first time she'd done this in my life, and I felt violated. She looked through all of my chats and my texts. Luckily, she didn't look through my search history or anything, but she looked through my fucking yubo (an app for online freind making). I then went out one day. I played pokemon go with kid and when I got back, she took my phone and looked through it again, then lectured me for an HOUR about how "she's a bad influence" and "gf will see her as competition" (not a problem, as I had explained the situation to her before hand). My favorite, however, was "if you were my boyfriend, you'd be gone in a second". They took my phone and grounded me for a week (not for hanging out with kid, just that I hadn't cleaned my room beforehand after being asked to for a while. I understand and agree with that part) I raged in my room for a while, and this is about 2 months later, I just want to know...
Am I an asshole for being mad at the time? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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ihp32KKT6qkAktPYrA3EnC5HE7P8i3Rk | 9z7ql4 | {
"description": "stopping to talk to my friend after she got a boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for stopping to talk to my friend after she got a boyfriend? | Some background is required, because I realise how the title sounds.
​
I (19M) met this girl (19F) last January because we are in the same course and we became really close really quickly. We'd watch movies together, hang out for hours on end and we'd go clubbing with the same group of people.
​
Around April I realised I had feelings for her, and told her one Monday - she said she didn't like me like that, that there was another guy in the year. 'Fair enough', I thought to myself and considered that the end of it. Well the following Thursday she stayed over at mine, and we stayed up until 5:30am chatting in bed (nothing sexual happened). She told me that she had feelings for me as well as this other guy. We left it at that, but the next day she said that she had thought about it and we should just stay as friends.
​
What ensued for the rest of term was me liking her and her spurning any sort of advances, but she still stayed over and drunk texted me and facetimed. When we broke for Summer, we kept in sporadic contact but nowhere near as often as we did during the academic year. I thought I was over her and returned to college afresh.
​
Boy was I wrong. Liked her just as much in September than I ever did, and her increasingly shitty behaviour didn't change that. She would insult me both in private and in front of my friends, she would demand I ring her and get pissy when I couldn't and told another girl in the class that I was obsessed with this other girl. She fell out pretty hard with her best friend, and I had to explain to her why screaming at someone isn't the best for morale. All my friends said she was toxic (even last semester) but I refused to listen.
​
Now for the asshole part: So I texted her a week after to try to make amends after an argument we had, and within 2 minutes of meeting she was telling me how she was seeing someone and how great he was and how he knew about me and how she told him I'm "The Jealous One". My pride battered a fair amount, I told her I was happy for her. If she had said "Thanks" or even nothing after this we'd probably be back to being best mates again. However, she said, verbatim, "Fuck off, I don't need you to be happy for me". I thought it was such an unbelievably shitty thing to say, especially since she knew I still liked her, and I haven't talked to her since except being cordial/civil.
​
Am I the asshole here, or is this some prime /r/niceguys material? All my/our friends are basically telling me I did the right thing, but am I just being uber-selfish here? I hope we can eventually go back to being friends, but I'm not sure when I'll be ready for that.
​
TL;DR: Got friendzoned, proceeded to stop talking to her when her behaviour and boyfriend meant that I could no longer delude myself into thinking she'd like me
​
PS: Throwaway for obvious reasons. Sorry for the haphazard writing, proper train-of-thought stuff. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
JihksjRJ5BcwDfIYysSENkm4l6BoXfch | amfxow | {
"description": "going to a bar near spouses bar after agreeing to give them space",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going to a bar near spouses bar after agreeing to give them space? | Title pretty much.
Spouse and I had a tough week. Not been sleeping well spouse says to me earlier they’re super tired and I have been stressed and complaining about work- SO explains they don’t want to have date night, doesn’t want to hear about my job, says I should still go out. Spouse says “probably going to get a drink at this bar, and see where I go from there” I am under the impression this means don’t go this bar have a drink and then go home because earlier SO said—too tired, don’t want to drink and drive. “don’t be a creep and randomly show up” says SO, I ensure SO can see my location via cell phone. Go radio silent and try to put together a plan to go out. This bar is go to spot for spouse
Fast forward, meet old friend at a bar near (5 mi) to the bar SO stated was off limits have one drink with old friend, close out go to next bar further away, about 12 mi.
Hour later text message “I tell you don’t come here but you show up at other bar close by, you’ve got a problem what a coincidence” me: shock, confusion, hurt, angry, proceed to ignore.
Next day SO stayed home bc of me not going to said bar, but going to a bar near by. SO thinks I’m the asshole. Are they right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ja6u1aFB6yV9tBLRsjgEnSe6wN188nuH | a4pfku | {
"description": "wanting to sleep by myself",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to sleep by myself? | I'll start this off by saying that having personal space is very important to me. I've always enjoyed being able to spend time by myself since, it's really the only way I can relax.
Earlier this year there was a month long stretch in which my (ex) gf was staying at my place every night. I was starting to feel drained by this, so i explained how i was feeling to her told her that she was going to have to stay the upcoming weekend at her place. She agreed reluctantly.
The morning after the first night at her place she called me and was frantic. She told me that she'd had trouble sleeping as well as some upsetting nightmares. She asked if she could spend the night with me so that she wouldn't have nightmares. I told her that she was welcome to come over, but could not stay the night. I made her stay at her place for a total of three nights during which she had trouble sleeping and was very upset with me.
AITA for not letting her stay over? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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79fbaQwbxw2uZEgRVmBIG3AwmNvs1aQ1 | axa7re | {
"description": "refusing to date co workers even though he pulled some major strings to get me the job",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTAH for refusing to date co workers even though he pulled some major strings to get me the job ? | So I met a guy. After he invited me to his house on our first meet up. I kind of brushed him off under the assumption he just wanted sex.
Fast forward to me getting back from vacation and in desperate need of a job. He reaches out to me after hearing me complain and says he knows a guy who’s hiring. This guys been pretty persistent and at this point I’ve only been on one date with him.
He connects me with the GM and I get the job right away. Now we work together. I feel as though he’s going to start feeling like he needs to be compensated.
He already gives me secret squeezes at work and makes comments about my lips. I wanna break it to him that I am not interested and that I do not date the people I work with.
Would I be the asshole for that ?
Tdrl: guy that likes me got me a really good job. We work together and he wants to date but I don’t date co workers. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gzg9CD1KZLQdmXUyqwPDJcDgncGaWxxu | aywkpm | {
"description": "Wanting Leave early",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Wanting Leave Early | First off sorry about format, im on mobile.
So a little background. I am 20 years old and I dont go to college. Most of my friends do go and this last week was spring break for them. Most of them left today (Friday) but my closest friend leaves in two days (Sunday).
My now ex-girlfriend also goes to college. We can call her "J". J's spring break started today. We had planned that I go get her from school. Its about a 4 hour drive and I made the trip plenty of times. The original plan we had made was, I go down tonight, stay at her place, and then leave Sunday morning.
Today before I left, while I was getting ready (doing laundry and such) I text J and ask if we can leave Saturday evening instead of Sunday morning so that I can hang with my friend one last time.
J gets very upset and we start to argue. She says that I'm being selfish and a coward. She says that i dont love her and i love my friends more. The entire time I insist that I want to visit and that I love her.
I have screen shots, they can explain the argument way better.
I ended up breaking up with her because of the things she said.
Tldr: I was supposed visit ex-girlfriend for 2 days, but ask to stay for 1. Argument happens.
So AITA for wanting to leave a day early, or are my ex's feelings justified? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
p8S7PNGcRqHqko5ofxHFUUc9Cz00LWKv | agyd3m | {
"description": "asking my parents to buy a computer",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For asking my parents to buy a computer? | I mean pretty standard stuff. My parent said a year ago "If you get good grades, we will buy you a computer" And i did.
Well, surprise, i'm not getting a computer. We have money for it but they just say: "No" They're busy buying themselves 2018 model Peugot 508. Makes me think because "Parents are always right" etc. Please help. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
o6N5uTASCQYDYfPbH1KptYSm2vrxzrmo | ax7g9y | {
"description": "cancelling a trip with friends to come see me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cancelling a trip with friends to come see me? | So me, my BF and a bunch of our friends made plans to come and see us over spring break at me and our Bf's home. These plans were made quite a while ago and that date they are supposed to come is about two weeks from now. However, recently two of our friends said that'd they'd want to bring an extra person, a person we do not know. My BF was immediately uncomfortable with the idea as he's very distrustful of people and didn't like the idea of having a stranger in his house. My sister (who was supposed to come up too) even agreed with him, and although I personally don't see an issue, I eventually just went with it. We tell them that they cannot bring their friend, and one of the two states that he will not be coming if his friend cannot. The other one then follows stating that he as well will not be coming. I then suggest that rather coming to our sorry college town, that we should just go to Orlando and chill at Disney and get an Airbnb. They said that this idea was too expensive. We then say that they can come to our college town and just get an Airbnb, but were offended by us even mentioning it. In the end we decided to cancel the trip because things got too complicated. My BF was also not excited with the idea of having 8 people in our two bedroom one bathroom apartment, and having to entertain that many people, including a stranger, in our slow, dull, college town. However they stated that they had to take off work for these days and were really excited and are very close friends with us and we feel bad. That's why I'm here today asking, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2YYx197MGEr5X0Pivj17HE5wMBFbHR9X | aekmfz | {
"description": "leaving a job after 3 weeks of training",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for leaving a job after 3 weeks of training? | **Reposted this on a separate account and have friends on the main one so writing on a secondary account**
I've only got a new job after 10 months of being unemployed and living off my parents. I still feel like shit for it. I only turned 20. Today I think the real me, the bipolar and depression has just kicked back in. I don't know how it started but it could be a number of reasons. I can admit I was a abit of a lazy bone growing up but in this situation I don't think that's the case. Simply put, I just don't think I can handle another call centre job again. Also, yesterday and today I let people know my real self which would be considered brilliant, however like on reddit It felt like a downvote into oblivion for me. I won't go into full context about the conversations I had with my team mates but it seemed like everyone completely disagreed and called me out for my own personal opinions and principles. It shook me up big time. I don't know how I'm gonna tell my family how much of a quitter or loser I am for leaving another job. I don't know how long I'm going to feel like this, is there something wrong with me? I'm letting them know today. I just needed to get this weight off my shoulders. I just feel like whenever I share an opinion ANYWHERE in the world I feel so passionate about I just get shut down or embarrassed because I sound wrong or an idiot. And then dealing with these types of customers in this job is just going to make my moods even worse. I don't know if I can get any other type of job. I simply do not know what to do anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
e8587NgnK0mQxryxCZTdxaMIqc4Nkveu | ag3jm7 | {
"description": "being annoyed by my girlfriend's recent social media habits",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being annoyed by my girlfriend's recent social media habits? | Hey Reddit, so I've been dating my girlfriend since the end of October. She's fantastic, we get along rather well and see each other often, about 2-3 times a week. Though most of those times it's only for a few hours at most around dinner time, she gets up early to teach and I tend to work late. Most of our recent dates involve food, then either talking, cuddling, or both...I just like spending time with her!
Over the last month though, I've been getting kinda annoyed by how often she's been checking social media when we're together. I feel like it hasn't always been this way, maybe just my perception but more often she's been pulling out her phone and browsing Facebook, Snapchat, etc. Early on she would pull out her phone just if she got a notification. Now in the last few weeks she's just pulled it out unprompted.
Normally that wouldn't annoy me too much, I don't care if she browses while we're not having a steady conversation or anything. But there have been several times now where we've been in the middle of talking and she'll pull her phone out as she's answering a question or I'm answering one of hers, and then she'll be focused on whatever app she pulled up, and the conversation will die from there. Totally kills the mood.
Today I kinda lost my cool. We were cuddling on the couch after finishing a movie and were having a great conversation with a lot of laughs, and then she pulls out her phone and just starts watching a 12 minute long YouTube training video that she needs to watch for training for her teaching job. Totally unprompted, without telling me that she was going to do that. And then she just sits there in silence and watches the video. I stopped cuddling her and got up to take care of some unwashed dishes to let off steam, because I didn't want to say anything in the moment that would upset her. I probably wasn't as "cuddly" or talkative as normal the rest of the evening.
Am I just being a selfish brat here, Reddit? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
qodHgWX1T6DdCjtT3Bx7qeARkoq80rFn | ahhy5j | {
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to create more distance in his friendship with another girl",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my boyfriend to create more distance in his friendship with another girl? | For background, BF and I have been seeing each other for a year or so. We have an open relationship, so we both are free to sleep with or hook up with other people. But there are 2 boundaries: always use protection and don't begin a romantic relationship.
BF met G online a few months ago. They were hooking up, which I had no issues with. He would sometimes also hang out with her and her friends, which was also fine. Once, I asked if he was using protection with her, and he told me he was. However, the same day sometime later, he admitted he had lied and was not using any protection. We struggled with this for a long time, but I eventually forgave him because he seemed genuinely contrite and because the two of us hadn't been super clear about what the 2 boundaries were. After a discussion, resetting our boundaries and clearly stating them, and getting tested for STIs, we moved on. BF also mentioned that he no longer had a sexual relationship with G and they were solely friends.
​
But lately, it seems he always is with G. He spends time with her friends and feels obligated to do favors for them. He gives G rides to various places. During a recent crisis, he dropped everything to help G. He is even attending a family function of G's. He will frequently talk about spending time with G and has even been late to our dates because of things he's doing with G (although he is late for other reasons as well). I understand wanting to maintain a friendship with G, but it feels so much like the two of them are dating and are in a romantic relationship. I've asked BF to stop doing such "boyfriend-y" things with G, but he has insisted that he is only being a friend and that I am projecting my own insecurities onto this relationship. AITA for wanting my BF to change his relationship with this girl? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4FSA5iC2f0XZUjpLmSfO2ucGPhK6t2jZ | afasyw | {
"description": "not interacting with my mother in a year",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I haven't interacted with my mother in a year. | This whole situation is short, but pretty messy.
Basically, two years ago I realized I was FTM and I came out at school a few months after that, and then my school, regarding the laws in my home state, were forced to out me to my parents. My dad was the one I came out to first because I knew he'd be better at dealing with it than my mom.
My mom's from Russia, and so she obviously doesn't have the most accepting views in the world. When I came out as bisexual to her before I told her I was transgender, she just told me it was a phase and that I would end up straight regardless. She also had a penchant for believing that boys were smarter and more capable than girls, and that a woman should spend her time at home and caring for the household. She would occasionally curse and scream at me and my siblings, and sometimes hit us as well.
After I came out as transgender, my mom tried to ignore the whole situation, opting to still use the wrong name/pronouns, and would just laugh at me if I tried to correct her, calling me silly and that I didn't know any better. That caused a lot of anxiety on my part, and made me constantly doubt myself and who I am.
I get that she wants her child back, but I'm still here, and I was always here as her son, she just can't see past the fact that I'm not a girl. This culminated about a year ago when I made the decision to stop talking to her entirely, I just couldn't handle how she viewed me and treated me. I don't eat what she buys, I don't take her gifts, and I take the hour long walk home from school just so I don't have to interact with her.
Even my grandmother, also from Russia, who had never even heard of a transgender person before still understands the fact that she should use my male name/pronouns.
But now, my mom's trying to talk to me again, my brother says she uses my name and tries with my pronouns, but I really don't think I can ever forgive her or forget just how much she had affected my mental health in such a negative way.
Am I the asshole here because I can't move on? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 1,
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bVt9j5izbAH7pR02mEBhEHFSzLJMRPb0 | b4zdeo | {
"description": "getting angry at my mum over a pair of heels",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry at my mum over a pair of heels? | This literally just happened but I’ve made sure to calm down first before doing anything. So, basically, my mum had a friend visiting from overseas last week and I hung out with her daughter too so we got along fine and I didn’t mind the visit since it was only for a few days.
During one of the days, they’ve decided to go out to the casino and left me to look after the daughter and their younger son (who was around 3). I was fine with this but before they went out I let her friend borrow my nice boot heels that went over the knees because she didn’t have any shoes other than trainers. Please note that I ONLY LET HER BORROW IT. I didn’t say she could have it. She didn’t ask to have it. Nothing. Just borrowing.
Then a week later (today), I’ve found out that she has given her friend my heels, the heels that I have paid for with my own money. My mum didn’t bother to ask me if her friend could have it, she just gave it away like it was hers. She didn’t even bother to mention it for a whole week.
I really like those heels, I can’t get another because I’m a student with two part time jobs just to support myself through university. I’ve never asked my mum for any money and everything I have was paid with my own money. I had plan tonight and was planning on wearing those heels but now I can’t. She called her friend to keep it for me but I still don’t know if I’ll ever going to get it back.
I got angry because when I confronted her, she didn’t care and basically just go “oops”. I told her about the plan tonight I had and she was literally just going “oh well. Tough luck.” (Translating her reaction to English equivalent as we’re not English)
So AITA for getting angry at my mum over the boots/heels? Am I overreacting?
TLDR; My mum gave away my favourite heels to her friend from oversea without asking me nor mention it until a week later. When confronted, she doesn’t care and I got angry as I’ve paid for them with my own money. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cWsebLC1XbsxVT9Y6tBu6ujU1fYzwA4w | apkk4h | {
"description": "getting upset over jokes my mother made",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset over jokes my mother made? | Right off the bat I know the title sounds bad. I'm usually against this "getting offended culture", especially when it's very for very minor things but please hear me out.
​
A bit of background, my entire family is Christian, I was baptized and raised as a Christian as well. I used to go to church and sometimes even sing there.
​
However, due to discovering I was bisexual, I started doubting this religion, I started looking on both sides of the argument as opposed to blindly believing into what my parents had been teaching me my whole life. Then I became an atheist as a result.
​
Cut to way later, I finally build up the courage to "come out" as an atheist to my mother. Needless to say she took it really bad, we had hour long discussions about the subject and I honestly feel like I should've just waited until I move out before telling her anything.
​
Today, I was talking about about buying a new necklace for myself (specifically getting her input on what size would be best for me). When I was younger, I used to wear a necklace with the cross as pendant. She started making jokes about how I'm an atheist & are trying to "replace the man that died for my sins" with cheap scrap metal and laughed at the jokes herself.
​
This wasn't the first she had made those kind of remarks and usually I let it slide thinking that telling her to stop would just be causing more trouble. But this time it really got to me so I went into her room and asked if I could be serious for two seconds with her. Then I ask her if she could stop laughing and making jokes at the expense of me being an atheist. From her point of view it was a harmless joke and while I can see that, I told her I understood, but also that I would like for her to stop from now on.
​
She always says she respects my choice and lack of religion but I really don't feel that in the way she handles the subject whenever we talk about it. I tell her that as well. She loses quite a bit of her temper and starts talking about how no subject should be tabu between us and that she does in fact respect my choice (which it still doesn't quite come across as to me at least).
​
So.. AITA?, one part of me feels bad for trying to get her to stop making jokes and feels I shouldn't try to censor her and it also feels a bit like going against my feelings on the matter of getting "offended" as well as not wanting to repress free speech. On the other side it really hurts me when she makes these type of comments/jokes, if it were some random person at school I wouldn't care in the least, but when it's your own mother doing what feels like making fun of you for your beliefs, it really gets to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
l6QeVOljYpC2EZmj4p7SI0H9cj6WhXtG | b0przc | {
"description": "ruining my wedding dress",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I ruin my wedding dress? | On mobile, excuse typos and format.
So, I got married 5 months ago. Everything went great, it was a beautiful day except... our wedding photos are awful, we had a small wedding and planned it in a month, I took a friend’s recommendation about this photographer and... The pictures were messy, no direction at all from her on poses, my hair and my dress were really messed up in all photos and she never once came to me to tell me or fix my dress, there are very few photos of just my husband and I we actually like.
Now for the dress part, in my country we have something called “destroy the dress” (or something along those lines) which basically means wearing it somewhere that might ruin the dress but for a photoshoot.
So I would like to hire a better photographer and go to the beach with my husband and take pictures there (in the water, etc) which obviously would take a toll on the dress. I really would like to make up for the wedding pictures, I’ve seen it done millions of times and the pictures come out stunning and my husband really liked the idea.
I told my idea to my mother in-law and she FLIPPED, she told me how irresponsible it would be of me to ruin a dress that costed my mom so much money (my mom bought my dress) that I was being a brat and my daughter would want my dress and to ruin it just for the hell of it is incredibly immature.
I very politely told her I disagreed and my daughter probably wouldn’t want my wedding dress anyways, I would feel very pressured if I knew my mom was saving her wedding dress for me. Plus, if possible I would love to buy my daughter her wedding dress like my mom did for me (if I ever have a daughter), so I would like to use my dress for something creative and meaningful to us since I’ll never use it again.
She continued to get mad and I changed the subject. I haven’t talk about it with my mom recently but before we found my dress she told me I could do whatever I wanted with it.
I just don’t see the point of keeping it in a box forever? Mother in-law even made a comment about how if I was her daughter she wouldn’t even let me touch the dress after saying what I said because I was being ungrateful.
So reddit, WIBTA if I ruined my wedding dress for photos? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
U6uzTr1llskm72pUcHsdmBILah0cRNs4 | aryd7z | {
"description": "yelling at a classmate for talking over the instructor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for yelling at a classmate for talking over the instructor? | Forgive the formatting, I'm on mobile.
I go to a university and the classes are relatively small. This took place last semester.
The professor a science course I take is an older gentleman in his eighties. He is very soft-spoken and most of the time the room needs to be quiet to hear him.
On this particular day he was going over information that was going to be on the next exam. Students were answering questions here and there. One young woman would start talking over him before he even finished speaking. It was starting to annoy me. I hoped that she would stop, but everytime he spoke she would start up right behind him.
I couldn't really register what he was saying and she showed no signs of stopping. So I decided to say something.
"Excuse me, I can't really hear what Professor is saying. Could you be quiet so we can hear?"
Instead of just agreeing, she got angry and said something like "Well maybe you need to switch seats so you can hear better."
I responded "I would be able to hear if you would be quiet!"
The situation escalated. The professor told me to be quiet.
AITA here?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ff2VF4yNFo5GdW8ZdjlDMdj9ugAF8qTR | azuktv | {
"description": "telling my friend to stop inviting his other friend who everyone despises",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend to stop inviting his other friend who everyone despises | Ok some background there is a group of 10 of us in school (this is a group of 16 year olds) and out of the 10, I have known the one who isn't liked the longest lets call him Dan(We went to primary school together and never got along). Dan skipped a year so his now in the year above us now
So the 10 in group(excluding Dan) are going to an event have the tickets and all booked bar 1 cause he can't go. So then the following week Dan is like I am going and the friend who likes him(Ben) Says thats great he then gets a seat on the bus to go to the event and expects to go back to one of our houses which is packed already with the rest of us. Last time he went out drinking with us he acted the magget and ruined the night. So this time we want Ben who invited him to come with us to stop inviting him to the same stuff as us.
He also has other friends bar us it's not like we are his only friend group so this won't be a big deal to him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ME9YCirWGMaX5X1bvkhWSG3EZ6NAD6Bg | ap8ua8 | {
"description": "asking for a refund over an untracked order that never arrived",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for a refund over an untracked order that never arrived? | Two months ago, I bought a collector's item off of a guy abroad for a little over $130. He offered me to send it untracked for a much cheaper shipping price. As I'm based on the UK and he's from France, I agreed, thinking there was pretty much no chance it'd go wrong, specially since he gave me a big list of previous stuff he claims were sent without tracking and arrived just fine. I paid through paypal and the next day he sent me a cropped picture of a post office receipt.
Time passed, the ETA came and went, but nothing arrived. I kept communicating with him, and he asked me to wait. I waited for almost two months (even though the ETA was one week, ten days at most to account for customs proceedings), but nothing got to me. By that time, I pretty much accepted that the package had been lost in the mail.
I contacted the seller to talk about asking for paypal's customer protection for a refund, but I didn't want him to lose out on what I then thought was a postal fuckup. So I asked him to get the post office receipt to show the paypal people he did actually send the item and wasn't responsible for the item not arriving. Then he claimed he didn't have the receipt anymore, and couldn't get another at the post office. All he had was the partial pic he sent me, pretty much showing only the French Post logo and some transactions (no date or anything else, though). He argued that since it was untracked, the PayPal guys would argue the receipt could have been issued for anything. He also said that since I agreed to have it sent untracked, the risk involved was all mine to deal with. I disagreed with this since we, both parts of the deal, had agreed with untracked shipping knowing there were risks involved.
Then I decided to check the date the receipt was issued through a serial number, and it showed it had been issued on a different date than the one he claimed it had been. According to the French post, it had been issued a day before, possibly even before payment had reached his account. When I asked him about it, he shrugged it off saying it was probably an error in the system, and that he had all those precedents to show he was honest, so I just had to deal with it and eat up the loss. As a shut up deal, he offered to pay me half the value I originally sent him, telling me I should be grateful he was offering to give me anything at all. All the while, he was very rude about it.
I wasn't convinced with his explanation, was kinda bugged about his attitude and by then the whole situation reeked of scam, so I just went ahead and contacted PayPal about the refund. Ends up I got it in full. Have no idea if the seller had to pay up or not, as I blocked him. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ssrpEGwyZT7Z41jDfqb6Aho5Dy4FpIgQ | 9wikdy | {
"description": "pushing a fisher into the water",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for pushing a fisher into the water | So first of I didn't push him but it was my friends brother who did this. I wasn't with them when this happened so I only have my friends story.
My friend and my brother went fishing in in nearby river and two foreign men also went fishing nearby. Eventually the foreign men caught a big fish. After this he decided to kill the fish ( maybe for eating but not sure). I don't think this is illegal in my country (Netherlands), but it was a really beatifull fish and it was pretty rare. So my friends' brother got really upset about this and went up too them and out of anger he pushed the guy that killed the fish into the water.
The foreigners arround our village are known to not having a lot of money and the person probaly had his phone on them. The water was also pretty cold. So my friends' brother ruined this guys day. The only reason I can think of that he is not the asshole is because there is really no need to kill these fish for food. Even if you don't have a job or a job that pays really bad you should be able to afford food in my country. So he didn't have to kill that fish. A fish of the size and kind he caught is really rare arround here so I kinda understand why he'd push the guy into the water.
Do you think he is the asshole? If you have any questions let me know and hopefully I can answer them! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
fsSejltJ5jXfWJqBUdCRHlqrC9ZhNCBP | argrs5 | null | AITA: Tried selling sister's pet since she wouldn't care for it | This is something that's happened about a year ago. I'm very dense and sometimes have acted like an asshole accidentally just with how I am. This story however, I'm not too sure about.
Just a forewarning TW: Animal abuse or at least animal neglect
​
For this story, I'll be calling my sister, S for short.
As a bit of background, an acquaintance of my dad had found a turtle in some lake in our state. He was missing one of his front legs and a good chunk of his shell in the back. This was when he was the size of a quarter. When we got him, he was about the size of my palm. She cared for him for a while, and then I guess spoke with my dad who knew how much my sister just LOVED turtles. Since he wasn't "getting the care he should" she gave him to my sister where he was then cared for.
​
Now, I too am an avid animal lover. After all, I'm going to college for it. My sister had the turtle(she named him Jake) and he slept in her room down in the basement. There were no windows down here so the only light came from the overhead lights. The tank was tiny, not even a foot long, and half as wide. The only thing the tank came with was a small floating rock that floated up and down with the water with suction cups to stick to the glass. That's it. And of course, S didn't put anything else in the tank. And the food? All that little turtle got were dried shrimp from a can once a day.
​
I was busy between school and work, not able to spend much time caring, and even then I wouldn't have been able to afford to get something better for this turtle, not as if we could fit anything else in that tiny thing. Plus even the thought of adding sand or pebbles to the bottom drove S up the wall, with her saying, "No! The person at the Pet Store said it'd be a bad idea to put something on the bottom!"
​
Like a minimum wage worker at a Pet shop would know exactly how to care for a turtle.(I know some employees do train themselves on animal knowhow, but this is the same place that told her spinach was safe for a turtle to eat, and be it's only diet)
​
So here we have it. A turtle with 3 legs in a tank with nothing but a floating rock in a basement with no natural sunlight nor heatlamp. And not only that, but because she said she was always busy, she rarely cleaned the tank so much so that when my grandmother and myself eventually cleaned it for her, we were gagging from the stench. I seriously felt so bad for this guy.
​
But why didn't I clean the tank sooner, if I knew S wasn't going to? Well, that right there is why I don't keep anymore small animals, and why S always berates me if I even think about getting another one: I can't remember things for SHIT. I'm working on it, but I've got the memory of a brick, you can tell me something and I'll forget about it immediately. Legit, when I'm asked to do chores if I don't do them immediately after being told, I need to be reminded(phone reminders are my savior)
​
Okay, I think that's enough backstory. Let's get to the part where I'm probably being an asshole.
​
So eventually, my sister finally moves into an apartment with her husband(fiance at the time) but the apartment doesn't allow aquariums(Something about plumbing I believe) Although my grandmother and I have pretty much been caring for him anyways, it's now our "official" task since S can't take him with her. I try my best, but between everything, it sorta ends up being on my grandmother to make sure he gets fed(again, it's still only the dried shrimp) The only real interaction I have with him were on my free weekends when I take him out of the tank to enjoy some fresh air. It just broke my heart to see him how he was. His eyes were so swollen with gunk, I wasn't even sure he could see out of one.
​
Then, I couldn't stand being an enabler for this abuse anymore. I decided it was time to try and sell him(well, re-home, but with the re-homing fee to make sure he doesn't end up in the same situation) The ad goes up for a short while, and I guess my sister saw it because after just a few days, she called me and got so pissed at me that I was trying to give away HER pet, but I really couldn't believe it? She was getting upset at me for trying to get an animal that she barely even sees anymore because she claims it's still hers? I really didn't wanna argue with her because I try to avoid all fights when possible, so I just took the ad down.
​
Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, it wasn't much longer before he did die off.
​
I already know I'm a huge asshole for letting this all happen despite calling myself an "animal lover" so I realize how much I'm calling myself out for a small portion of the entire story, but I'm really wondering.
Sorry for the monster of a post, I'm bad at shortening stories. But tell me: am I the asshole for trying to rehome this turtle?
​
Also one last thing to note, other than this whole situation, I have little hate for my sister. She is a genuinely good person, and is amazing with kids. She's just a bit too stubborn for her own good sometimes, and possibly too gullible when speaking with "professionals" | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mUlkFy6Fdg3pCsTLZYflC1LLs6osoELW | az0v19 | {
"description": "not inviting my friend to a brewery",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not inviting my friend to a brewery? | My boyfriend and I are involved in a bowling group that we found through my best friend Alice and her husband. There are about seven guys on the team, but only three girls: myself, Alice and Beth (whose boyfriend is also part of the group).
Alice and I have been best friends for years, and one of our hobbies outside of bowling is going to breweries. Sometimes we invite a big group (Beth included) and sometimes it's just the two of us. We've been doing this together longer than we've even been in the bowling club.
Beth saw a photo on social media of Alice and I at our most recent brewery adventure and she was really upset she was not invited. Her boyfriend reached out to my boyfriend to say I was an asshole for not inviting Beth despite her really wanting to be more involved with "the girls" (again, Alice, Beth and I are the only girls in the group).
Am I the asshole? On the one hand, I feel like I am allowed to hang out with my best friend doing our thing without needing to make it a girls group outing. Also, if Beth wanted to hang out more, I would be happy to join in if she organized anything. On the other hand, I understand she feels like she is being left out simply by being the only one not invited on the "friend date". I don't want to hurt her feelings, but does that really mean I need to invite her every time I hang out with my best friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
m75IdCvbq12pKk8KZFjz1kA0IXoGIwDG | aive1a | {
"description": "convincing two of my depressed friends to date only to convince them to break up a few months later",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for convincing two of my depressed friends to date only to convince them to break up a few months later? | Ok, a little backstory first. I have two depressed friends, let's just call them Jane and John. Jane was the new girl in school and became a part of our friend group, which also involved John. John and Jane had a crush on each other and they both told me about it so I was like "hey, you guys should go out". And they did, and they had a good relationship for a while. Eventually, John just hardly ever talked to Jane outside of school and almost never interacted with Jane while in school so when Jane told me about this I was like "hey, you should break up with him". And they broke up. I feel incredibly guilty considering they're both depressed and John just told me that this break up made his depression worse. Part of me thinks I'm not the asshole because I got them together because I thought they were a match and in my opinion I had genuinely good intentions, but the other side of me thinks I'm guilty because what I did was VERY two-faced. I feel like if I didn't get them together in the first place, then there would be less pain on both sides. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BwnBZE0ppRzIFLv1dGZoL2zlaST922bo | aj6cts | {
"description": "accepting nudes from people that are not my significant other",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | WIBTA for accepting nudes from people that are not my significant other? [NSFW] | So, for some context, I'm talking about on this specific Reddit account of mine.
This is my porn account with a username of "PMmeUrNudesPlease", and sometimes when I'm active (and especially if I point out my username) I will receive, well, nudes. I do have a girlfriend, however she does not use Reddit, nor does she know that I have an account with this illicit purpose. Unless I tell her, she'll probably never find out. I do not want to hide anything from her, but I also don't talk about things unless asked because I'm not thinking about that stuff 99% of the time.
However, I am unsure if she would care or not. She knows I look at porn and masturbate and she doesn't care about that, but nudes could potentially be a different story. She gets jealous if I talk to any of my exes, but my exes are exes for a reason and I never initiate conversations with them to begin with. I also keep conversations with exes short and curt, as I generally don't want to interact with them myself (I would never knowingly accept nudes from exes either, but none of them know this account exists so that is a moot point).
I just want to know if I should refrain from getting nudes from other people for a higher moral purpose, I guess. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 22
} | WRONG |
gAG80COWF78EuaBiACTKnZ6KXVxRe2UP | aoar7l | {
"description": "blocking someone because they wanted a \"legitimate reason\" for not wanting to rp",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking someone because they wanted a "legitimate reason" for not wanting to rp? | First time posting, sorry if it's not within rules. So, I'm on Deviantart, and this person sends me a message, asking me to partake in role-play (Don't judge me, okay?) They keep bringing up the same subject even when I say no, and persist to ask me why. My response is "I'm not interested." "Why?"
When I finally block them, they post a status saying "FUCK YOU <me>!"
I felt a bit bad, because they justified I blocked them for no reason, and when I unblock them, they're all chill
I understand their standpoint, they want a "legitimate" reason that I denied her rp, but they just kept at it
So, am I the asshole for blocking her, or was I in the right?
Again, sorry if this is against the rules, I will happily take this post down if requested | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EWLkw0Fqm1Dz8ExKnuVaM6JRwU6hsz9G | aa5wo9 | {
"description": "not always letting my boyfriend touch me when/how he wants? AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for touching me after I've said stop or no",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not always letting my [24F] boyfriend [29M] touch me when/how he wants? AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for touching me after I’ve said stop or no? | TL;DR If I [24F] don’t want touched a certain way or at all some times, I explicitly tell my boyfriend [29M] of 9 months to stop touching me; this makes him feel unwanted and unattractive. I get angry with him for not adhering to my nonconsent. AITA?
~~~~~~~~
For context:
Sometimes touch is very overwhelming for me and I don’t want touched at all. It gets me stressed and cranky. Sometimes I do want touched. I’m always very explicit with this. “I don’t want touched right now I don’t feel well” or “I’d love to cuddle if you’re down.” I told him this when we very first started dating. That sometimes physical touch is too much for me and I need space in those moments.
He definitely feels he deserves to be touched more and to touch me more. I know that my sensory-overload makes him angry. Telling him explicitly to stop touching me or telling him no hurts his feelings but are the only way I can get him to understand. Dropping hints are either not being noticed or they’re being ignored, I can’t tell which. And by hints I mean anywhere from “I don’t feel good” to “I’m going to lay on the other couch during the movie.” He’ll always come touch me or he’ll have his feelings hurt if I move.
~~~~~~~~
Here is a summary of what happened tonight:
we are sitting next to each other on the couch eating dinner. I ate waaay too much and my stomach hurts really bad. I really don’t want touched at all honestly, but I really really don’t want to fight so I’m ignoring the discomfort and he just has his hands on my legs. He reaches to rub my stomach. I say “i don’t feel well and I do not want my stomach touched. I don’t want to have sex tonight.” (He always rubs my stomach when he’s feeling horny, and I hate having my stomach touched). He huffs and says “but I think you’re sexy.” He puts his hand under me and grabs my butt. I’m fine. 20 seconds or so pass. His hand goes into my crack. I say stop and I move. He gets mad and says he is “allowed to touch me.” (He says that often.) I ignore his comment. A few minutes later, he grabs my boobs. I tell him “stop, I don’t feel well.” He says something to the effect of “you never let me touch you.”
And we delve into a huge argument where I’m apologizing for making him feel poorly but telling him that I cannot imagine a healthy relationship where either party has to sacrifice their right to say no. And he’s telling me I make him feel unattractive and gross and unwanted. I explain that having my nonconsent ignored IS gross and isn’t sexy at all. He says I called him gross. I didn’t I said not being able to say no is gross. He says he is allowed to touch me. I say that no he isn’t, not without my consent, and that right isn’t sacrificed whether we’ve been together 9 months or if we’ve been together 40 years. It continues much like that.
~~~~~~~~
I am really angry and feel like I have absolute right to say no to anyone’s touch, up to and INCLUDING my boyfriend, but I maybe am neglecting him physically by doing so, and that makes me the ass hole? You tell me. Judge away. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PeaY2ulMXx3u9aXgnQQ8evXnZMYAJKDe | awvnqu | {
"description": "not taking a video game seriously",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for not taking a video game seriously? | One of my classmates at school has been begging me to play overwatch with him since he learned I recently bought it. I agree to play with him and I tell him I’m decent but I’m not the greatest. We start playing and he tells me we don’t have a healer so he tells me to be the healer. Support is what I’m best at and what he’s worst at but I don’t like playing support so I pick some ninja guy who I thought looked cool. He gets really annoyed and says that our team is going to lose as nobody else is picking support. He caves in and plays as a support class and does really bad with it. He tells me to switch to support because I’m doing bad with my character, he’s doing bad as our support and our team is losing. I don’t have fun playing as support so I just keep trying out different characters. My girlfriend is also with me so I let her play while I go bathroom. She’s even worse than I am and by the time I get back my team has already lost the game. He’s pretty mad and I think he’s rank went down or something. In my opinion the point of games is to have fun and I don’t have fun when people are telling me how I should playing. It’s just a game and I think he took the whole thing too seriously | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
F6GJbIue6W34xbss2efIKTJQSoZnWw1x | apivu3 | {
"description": "not wanting my children to pass out bible verse bracelets for Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 126,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for not wanting my children to pass out bible verse bracelets for Valentine's Day? | My husband takes our children (ages 6 and 8) to church on Sunday mornings. I don't go. Although I was raised in the church and it wasn't a terrible experience, somewhere along the way I lost my faith. My husband became a believer after we were married, so this causes a bit of tension in our marriage. Anyway, on Sunday the kids come home with a giant bag of rubber bracelets with bible verse John 3:16 stamped on it. It is attached to a little card that states what the bible verse is, what is means, and a website for the church. They said their Sunday school teacher wants them to hand them out to their classmates at their small public school on Valentine's Day. My husband clarified that they were to hand them out only if they wanted. Oh hell no! I told them I wasn't sure it was appropriate and promptly put them away in a cupboard. I find it cringy and frankly I would be embarrassed for them, as well as for myself if they took them to school. My husband is a bit miffed at me but dropped the issue for now. So come Valentine's Day, and I don't open the cupboard to let them take them to school, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 117,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 126,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
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