id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2 values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5 values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2 values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
pWWwgAohmJ6ZY4r7gcrOx2RI5mBhLQOY | a7xzzy | {
"description": "not wanting to take a shift for a coworker because of how my boss asked me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to take a shift for a coworker because of how my boss asked me? | I received a text from my boss at about midnight that a coworker of mine won’t be coming into her shift because her aunt passed away. I’m a lifeguard and this specific coworker relieves me when my shift is over. At the end of my boss’ text to me it said “can you help her in her time of need”. My boss is known for undermining most of the lifeguards and kind of putting us down.
AITA because I don’t want to take this shift because I feel like my boss is guilting me into taking the shift. I feel like if I say no that I’ll be looked at as a lesser person. Obviously I’m sympathetic towards my coworker in her time of morning, but I have to get up early to go to school, then go straight to work after and I really don’t want to have to stay at work until 9 because it’s been a long tiring day? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OvFKsZUukEzYKPzijjFBg86FfeCpFQMA | b2oarv | {
"description": "wanting a non-monogamous relationship when my partner doesn't",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for wanting a non-monogamous relationship when my partner doesn't? | I am in a bit of a messy, undefined relationship with a person I deeply love. We've never been in an exclusive relationship, and since the beginning I told him I wasn't ready to be monogamous. He has always made it clear that is what he wants. We have been trying to make the open relationship work, but it is a strain on both of us. I have tried hard to respect his need to be monogamous while still being honest about my need to not be, and have told him that, while I love him and want to be with him, I'm can't sacrifice my mental/emotional wellbeing by ignoring what I need because it won't be good for either of us in the long run. And that if this doesn't work for him, he needs to make that decision and end the relationship.
I have broken up with him a few times, always with us getting back together in a few days. I have felt like I need to be the one to end it because I am the one who is causing the strain, even though it kills me everytime. But then we'll start taking and get back together again.
Recently, he broke up with me and we stayed that way for about two months, during which I did not contact him. I felt like if I were the one to contact him, I'd be dragging him back into a relationship situation he didn't want. I was miserable and missed him so much, but the guilt of knowing he was hurt by the situation kept me from talking to him. But then he reached out to me, and asked to come over, and we decided to give it another shot. He said anything is better than nothing.
I love him so much, but that doesn't change my need to have an open relationship, because I will fall into a pattern of self destruction I've been down before and barely survived. AITA for wanting a non-monogomous relationship knowing that it hurts my partner? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
nv3tk2hPn9gxRIJ0MLP7keEwh6YgigJy | a19hjv | {
"description": "giving more effort and attention to my girlfriend & Job than my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA That I give more effort and attention to my girlfriend & Job than my Mom? | I'm 21 and recently got my first girlfriend a couple weeks ago. I also started doing online freelancing work earlier this year teaching myself video editing from scratch and marketing myself. I feel like my life is coming together and I'm working hard at my job to improve, and also treating my girlfriend very special mainly by texting her while I work during the day.
​
To get to the point, I bought my girlfriend her favorite perfume for her birthday, got it in a nice box made it nice and everything and my Mom is upset that I got my girlfriend such a nice gift for her birthday, but nothing for my Mom's birthday.
​
For more context, I was medically discharged from the Navy and now I live with my parents and have no "real" job. My freelance business has only recently started getting success which means I didn't have any money to spend when it was my Mom's birthday earlier this year. My sister and I got together and made a hand made gift and treated her special, cooked dinner, and took over the house duties.
​
Extra context, I'm autistic and people skills are not my specialty at all.
​
There are many other details on my work life, and other problems, but I'm aware this isn't the place for a life story.
​
It's not just this one event though, this seems to have been the tipping point and my Mom has been building up anger for a while now. Another major thing that my Mom is upset about is the fact that I'm not putting in effort in learning her mother language, Armenian. Armenian is a very unpopular language and there are no online resources to help me learn unless I pay hundreds either for a personal teacher or a local college class. My Mom speaks it, but is a terrible teacher. She tells me and my sister to dedicate 30 minutes a day to learning it and then come back to her on what we learned, but what are we supposed to learn when there's no resources? We just awkwardly learn the alphabet and google translate to learn then get yelled at for not putting in enough effort.
​
However, I have recently started to learn Dutch because my girlfriend is from Belgium and I want to talk to her family who hardly speaks English. Dutch is super easy in comparison to Armenian mainly because there's a free app for it, most of the words are similar to English, and it's fun.
​
So here's the conflict. My Mom went on a rant this morning telling me how my girlfriend is fake because we originally met online and I'm spending more time & effort on my girlfriend and my job rather than her, and ends up calling me an asshole who doesn't respect their parents. She has now told me to read self-help books (the kind that's titled "3 steps to sucess"), and also telling me I'm immature. I denied all of this and my Dad also supports my Mom telling me that they are only trying to help and want the best for me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
efEixEiWocliADxwUKiRShFDkRuLnch6 | b7et8z | {
"description": "anonymously letting my boyfriend's friend's gf know he cheated on her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for anonymously letting my boyfriend’s friend’s gf know he cheated on her? | Hi guys. I’m really conflicted here and could use your advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together since July 2017, and are a great couple. He has a friend group from college, one of whom (Harry) has a girlfriend Alice that he has been with since early 2017.
In November 2017, he went for a meal with his girlfriend Alice, her best friend Francesca, and another friend. This was before Harry and Alice lived together. After the meal, Alice went back to her house, and Harry got an uber with Francesca. Francesca invited him into her house for a drink, they had sex, and he stayed over.
Harry told my boyfriend about this, who told me. I was completely torn up at the time, and still am (although it’s recently reared its head again, which I will come on to). Harry and Alice were due to move in together 3 weeks later in December 2017. At the time I had the same dilemma (should I anonymously tell her) but if she had found out, she would have lost her boyfriend/best friend/house at the same time. I decided to take no action as she’s not my friend/it’s not my place. Harry or Francesca never told Alice.
Fast forward to early 2019. I just heard Harry and Alice are planning to buy a house together, a massive financial commitment which will tie them together forever and be very expensive to get out of. These feelings have come back and I don’t know what to do.
The emotional part of me says that I should make a fake email account and tell her anonymously. She deserves to know everything so that she can make an educated decision before she enters this financial commitment of buying (so much harder and more expensive to separate than renting).
The logical part says I should leave it, it’s not my place, I am not her friend, ignorance is bliss in her case, and it would harm my current relationship (my boyfriend would be furious if he found out I’d told her, or I’d have to keep this huge secret from him, something I’m not going to do). There are other people who could tell her and have chosen not to (other friends know as Harry told them).
I should stay out of it, right?
Thanks for reading
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
L6Xe11k98dhgmQ3F3cx4xV4PXJYGKwFS | askh16 | {
"description": "pointing out things that were wrong with a Madoka and Homura cosplay",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for pointing out things that were wrong with a Madoka and Homura cosplay? | So I came across a picture on Instagram (I'll put the link to the picture in the comments) and the Madoka was (in my opinion) a recycled Natsuki cosplay so I pointed out things wrong with both cosplays. I'm not going to exactly quote what I said because you can look for yourself on the post, my comment is under the username @uncle_bad_touch_69. I guess I could've said it a little nicer, but then they started insulting the way I looked and calling me a bitch. AITA? (I will put a direct quote if wanted) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
M2fTSKOzeFjJkUesCEEvRfUHDAqSUanZ | a8pelk | {
"description": "not knowing about a friend's breakup",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not knowing about a friend’s breakup? | I was texting my friend and mentioned something about his girlfriend. He replied they had broken up, but in a joke way. I apologized for not knowing, or else i wouldn’t have brought it up. I got no response so i made a joke, as his breakup response was in a joke way and tried to change the subject. I figured he didn’t want to talk about it, while good friends, he would have never really talked about personal things like that to me.
I get a response telling me how horrible i am for already knowing about the breakup, pretending not to know, bringing it up purposefully to talk about it and being extremely insensitive. I was shocked. I know his gf quite well and see some of her friends often, so he assumed i already knew, but i didn’t, i didn’t even know when/why they broke up.
He refused to believe i didn’t know, i tried to explain that i didn’t and i apologized profusely about misreading the situation, as i assumed he didn’t want to talk. I didn’t meant to brush it off, i felt like i was crossing a boundary if i asked about it when he didn’t reply originally. Eventually he said it was fine, but probably still thinks i knew. We talked a few days later, i initiated, but not much substance.
Recently I was at Christmas drinks organized by a friend and his ex was there. I thought nothing of it as there were a quite a few of us there and the couple had a lot of good mutual friends so i was always going to see his ex at some point. Me and the ex-gf very briefly talked about the breakup, basically just agreed we would still be friends as we had actually been friends for longer and a bit unfair to split friendships.
The next day, my friend berated me for being there, although he knew his ex-gf was going these Christmas drinks it was organized ages in advance. Someone had told him I cancelled plans and went out of my way to be there that night, which was a lie and was not said to him. I tried to explain someone organized drinks with people who happened to be around that time that we don’t see often, as people like his ex-gf were over for Christmas markets, so it was an opportunity to see everyone. But every problem he had and i explained reasonably, he just found another problem/argument, and I’d explain and he’d pick on something else til he had nothing else to argue about. I apologized many times if my actions came across as malicious, but i was just seeing old friends, and his ex-gf happened to be one.
He would have always been a bit picky towards me and i feel like an escape goat for the pain of his breakup. I know it’s hard, but i feel like he wants someone to be angry at. I said I had a lot of personal shit going on and apologized if i had dealt with it incorrectly, he told me that me having my own issues didn’t help him. I understand i could have handled the breakup news better, but i apologized sincerely. He actually did tell a mutual friend he thought he was too harsh on me after accusing me of knowing about the breakup, but never apologized to me, and instead got mad at me because I had already told that friend about it as i was upset about the situation.
Have i been an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
v02SClR63Tk1wtqe2GcXP0VkLU2x3LnJ | ae8dxd | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend of 5 months that if she moves for work that breaking up is a possibility",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For telling my (23m) girlfriend (23m) of 5 months that if she moves for work that breaking up is a possibility? | So me and my gf have been dating for a little below 5 months and I love her dearly. She's supportive, caring, affectionate, pretty much everything I'd want in a girlfriend.
We were having a discussion about her future with her company and it might have her relocate her job to an area that's around 1 1/2 hrs commute from me which is pretty far if she takes the job. She currently lives ~ 20 minutes away and we've had a little bumpy but eventually straightened relationship. I told her that there are a lot of things she could do such as her relocate to a place that's not so far from her, etc. but one of the things I mentioned is that long distance might not be the best thing for us. I really do like her and I want to stay grounded here but I know I come across as blunt sometimes and I don't know if this is something that I should have brought up.
She thought I was joking but I was serious, since we're only less than 5 months into the relationship. She got immediately upset and mad and said that "I don't love her enough to consider a LDR" and "How could I even say something like that". I went to end the conversation by saying "I love you" and she responded with "Apparently not".
So reddit, am I the asshole here? Is there something I'm missing | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5S8KohwSlAXPMC06xI6EH4PDv4YoaPbs | a3ks9x | {
"description": "not believing my best friends girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not believing my best friends girlfriend? | (Throwaway) A little back story for context. My best friend has been dating this girl for probably near 7 years now. We've all started college at this point and all go to the same college. They used to fight physically when they were in junior high but probably since freshman year she's been physically and verbally abusing him. Now I'm not saying all of it is unprovoked but (in my eyes) she's a psycho. I was supposed to hang out with him the other day but I ended up being way late on schoolwork and had to cancel (fuck finals) and she needed to get a hold of him. He wasn't responding and she knew we had planned to hang out so she messaged me to ask him to call her. (Super passive aggressively I might add) I told her that i didn't end up hanging out with him and she called me a liar. So being the reasonable person that I am I sent the texts between my friend and i with a super passive aggressive message back. She doesn't like it and we ended up fighting back and forth for probably a week or 2 before she told me he constantly abuses her sexually. I told her that I didn't believe her and that she was just trying to ruin our relationship. How am I supposed to, she is abusive to my friend and manipulates everyone she talks to.
Tldr my friends girlfriend is a manipulative bitch that will do anything to ruin our friendship | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
la5lDMsloXfekaKuPB8GQd9U32jSmLb2 | a0g38f | {
"description": "being upset with my girlfriend for cuddling with her Gay friend",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Being Upset With My Girlfriend For Cuddling With Her Gay Friend? | My girlfriend recently got an awesome promotion for work and moved away to a different city. Until she finds her own place, she is staying with one of her good friends(who is gay) that lives in that city. His place is a 1 bedroom apartment and instead of sleeping on the couch, she sleeps in his bed with him. She told me the other day that she cuddles with him at night. I didn't make a big deal of it when she told this to me, but I did notice that it kind of upset me a little and told her how I felt. She told me I was overreacting and that it is not a big deal. I just want to know from an outsiders point of view if I should shrug this off or not. Thanks | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ZoHUbN2maNyiMjQZIzvfPOwvtx36xt9y | a7o72y | {
"description": "forcing my family to choose between me and our relatives",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for forcing my family to choose between me and our relatives? | I was recently sexually assaulted by a male cousin going to the same college as me. Problem is, my mother's family has a tradition of meeting up for a couple of days after Christmas at my grandparents' property. I refuse to be in the same house as him but I am also not ready to share the reason with anyone in real life.
Would I be the asshole if I asked my immediate family to perhaps consider not going this year, given that plans have already been made? I'd hate to spend the holidays alone, but if it would be an asshole move, the alternative would be to "fall sick" and bail on everyone. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
YPLxe5Dexi7xzHQKzItSG7dWrfexIlej | b53zqr | {
"description": "having my partner over 2-3 times a week",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for having my partner over 2-3 times a week? | So for the past year and a half I've lived with 2 other roommates with generally little to no issue. Roommate A is somewhat controlling and a neat freak which has been fine, I have no issues with cleaning a bit more than I might on my own. There is also a "place" for everything that is largely decided by roommate A. This is all fine. I don't complain about anything and consider myself pretty easy to get along with.
The issues started arising a month ago. Roommate A expresses that my partner is over too much and she doesnt like it. (for an example, my partner is generally over 2 nights, and sometimes 3. Usually one weekday night and Friday night- Saturday night.) Her complaint was that my partner was in the house when I wasn't. This is only when I need to leave for work and it's about an hour of my partner sleeping in my bed before they need to leave. My partner doesn't shower at my place or take up more than a couple minutes in the common areas. We cook meals together and maybe spend 30 minutes eating it in the living room. We always clean and do any dishes in the kitchen.
Anyways, despite me thinking it was ridiculous, I asked my partner to get up at the same time as me and leave around the same time. fast forward to yesterday, my roommate texts me that "we need to talk about X being here so often" which I reply that I apologize and understand that it's annoying when someone has their gf/bf over all the time. I can try and be less intrusive/wake up earlier so that you don't see us in the morning. (other than that we are generally confined to my room) she replies that it's unacceptable and that partners are to be over no more than 2 nights a week and that she's "done being nice about it".
Mind you, she also had her parents living on our couch for 2 weeks during the holidays. My common areas were all but unusable during this time. I have no problem chipping in extra for utilities ect. I have no problem establishing quiet hours or morning routines that are less intrusive. I don't know how we could possibly be less intrusive on the weekends as we are either just cooking, out of the house, or in my room, things I would be doing myself anyway. We're also moving out to our own place in less than 4 months.
All of these things were met with hard no's and it ended up with me blowing up a bit. I essentially told her we pay the same rent and she's not the arbiter of how I get to spend my time. She half assedly threatened that the next couple months would be sucky for both of us. I said the conversation wasn't going anywhere and to lodge any complaints with the landlord.
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cGrKX0rzL6lDzQkPNvtHEF91rqE4kvGD | aoav2r | {
"description": "starting a fight with my friend's sister's boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for starting a fight with my friend's sister's boyfriend? | I've been friends with this girl since highschool, we even messed around a few times, simply put we've been close for a long time. Let's call her Jane. She studies abroad and she came home for the holidays, we agreed to met up at a local pub, at that point I haven't seen her for about half a year.
When she came to the pub I was already a bit buzzed from drinking with some other friends for a few hours, I should point out that I've had a very stressful day, but I won't get into it because I feel it doesn't really matter and the people involved had no way of knowing.
Jane came with her best friend and her sister, both of whom I knew, but also another friend and her sister's bf which I was seeing for the first time. Now i've heard lots of talk about Jane's sister and how she's bitchy and controlling, but I never really got to know her because she only hung out with us a couple of times. I was really happy when I saw Jane and rushed to hug her, we start talking and after a short while her sister drags her over somewhere outside the bar, to talk to someone I didn't know, her best friend and her sister's boyfriend came with. I was annoyed with this but I decided to let it go and pay it no mind.
I introduced myself and started talking to this girl they brought with them, let's call her Amanda, and apparently she was left behind same as me. Amanda was really interesting so I lost track of time talking to her, but after a good while Jane comes and starts whispering in my ear. She tells me to stop talking to Amanda because her sister hasn't seen her in a while and wants to talk to her. For whatever reason that really rubbed me the wrong way.
Amanda was sitting alone at a table with me, nothing stppped Jane's sister from talking with her, instead she sends Jane to get me to leave. I'll admit I got a bit pissed off and I started pressing her, asking her why doesn't her sister just come talk to Amanda. Jane refused to give an answer and just continued asking me to stop talking with this girl. I told her she's immature and kept talking with Amanda, and Jane left, frustrated. After a short while, her sister comes to me calling me an asshole for apparently making Jane cry. I explained my side to her but she wouldn't hear it, demanding I go apologise. She said Jane did was she was asked to and that I should mind my own business and live her friends(talking about Amanda) alone. Now at this point I just ignored her and kept talking to Amanda, who strangely enough also ignored her, making me question what the fuck was going on between those girls. Jane's sister kept swearing at me but the music really helped me ignore her. Then her bf grabs my shoulder aggressively and demands I listen to her, I politely tell him to get his hand off me and when he refused I got up and shoved him into a wall, luckily we were quickly broken up by the bouncer. I talked to the guy and told him I respected him standing up for his gf, we drank together a short while and all was well. Amanda left soon after what happened.
Later I talked to Jane and her best friend and both kept saying I should apologise to Jane and her sister and that I acted like a dick, I shouldn't drink so much etc. I admited I may have over reacted but to this day I refuse to apologise because sober or drunk I do think Jane acted like a fucking child doing big sister's bidding. We're all adults why can't we communicate like adults instead of playing those stupid games? Regardless to say we haven't been talking so much since and I can't help but wonder if I was maybe in the wrong. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Hqv6TaqwKajgDxDyMAYDjzuSeI1sDRNr | agr1lo | {
"description": "not wanting to be a shoulder to cry on constantly",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be a shoulder to cry on constantly? | Some background - I’m studying for university exams, I broke up with my partner like a week ago, I have to complete the process of buying a house for next year.
There’s this girl who I wouldn’t say I’m close with, but we’re better friends than just someone you get along with (hopefully that makes sense), and she constantly has something bothering her. I’m a pretty understanding and sympathetic guy, but I’m finding myself getting wound up and having to bite my tongue constantly in order to not lose my cool.
Despite my own situation, I’m still happy to help people and listen and give advice. But this girl complains about the same things constantly. I give advice, she rejects it, I tell her I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it, she gets annoyed. I’ve just now told her that “I’ve got my own issues, you have friends living with you who you’re very close with, they’ll be better listeners than me. I’m more than happy to help but you turn down every advice I offer. I don’t see what you want me to do. I’m so sick of repeating myself.”
Bear in mind, I’ve not asked her for any support myself, nor has she really offered any. This other girl who I’m extremely close with gives me support and I return it. I don’t get at all frustrated with her because at least she will consider the things I say.
I fully understand not everyone is the same, but there’s a limit to how long someone can feel sorry for themselves.
AITA for responding how I have, or feeling how I do? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
bmT0E6E7eyuOWHwVMsynMoyEOZ2MBB1G | as1m24 | {
"description": "not wanting to take my girlfriend to get takeout when I have food at home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to take my girlfriend to get takeout when I have food at home. | Firstly, sorry for ant mistakes I didnt catch as I am on mobile.
So, we live in Massachusetts and its snowing in our area tonight. She doesn't want to drive in the snow and madenit very clear she wants me to pick her up because he dad is bring her and she doesn't want to drive in the snow.
Im currently borrowing a friends car because my car is in the shop for repairs. It was a lucky conicidence they were leaving for vacation the dst after it broke.
Regardless, she wants me to drive to get here wich in and of itself is honestly fine.
She texts me telling me we should get takeout. I respond saying I have food in the house and I dont want to spend more till I pay for my car. She tells me to not be mad when she gets tskeout for just her becauese she cant adford to buy for us both.
I find it in bad taste my girlfriend wants me to pick her up, drive to get her food, then drive her back to my house so she can eat it in front of me when i could prepare us a perefectly good meal we could both enjoy. I told her this, and she starts with the overdramtics about how she guesses she just wont eat at all. Intold her to not playbthat card when she knows i have food just not tje tskeout she wants. She told me to fuck off and shed see me when i get there to pick here up.
Am I an asshole for thinking all this is in very poor taste on her part? Am I being unreasonable and selfish? I honestly don't know so some opnions would be nice.
P. S. And i supposed for the record, its not that she wants a favor, but its whenever i tell her no she gets very hostile i think its a rather toxic trait. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
vnES6OO382vXUqohJQahE7W0n8cj5uaO | b6rn4w | {
"description": "asking my former maid of honor why I'm not in her bridal party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA if I ask my former maid of honor why I'm not in her bridal party? | We've known each other for 12 years. About six years ago she moved like four hours away and while we don't see each other very often we do still talk over messenger. About 3 years ago she was in my bridal party and got bumped up to maid of honor due to an accident with my actual MOH. She really stepped up, was there the whole time and gave me the most beautiful speech and everything.
Now her wedding is this October and I'm not in her party at all. I know she doesn't owe me anything, but I didn't even really hear about her wedding until we got the save the date cards. I haven't been able to to see her since my wedding and I've been busy with my new daughter and she works at a type of year round camp where she probably made better connections than she had with me. I don't know. I want to ask her why, but I don't want to feel petty.
Just to get a few things out there:
Like I said, I know I'm not owed a spot in her party just because she was in mine.
I'm not *not* going to her wedding. We were invited and I do care for her and I'd like to at least be there in some part.
I wouldn't be like "HOW DARE YOU NOT INCLUDE ME?!", More just a simple "Hey, so is everything ok between us?" Or something.
I don't expect to change her mind or anything.
I get that maybe life got in the way or that she just has closer friends than me. It still just kinda sucks a little.
So am I the asshole for wanting to politely ask my friend why she didn't include me in her wedding? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
zjchdYerxWFK48rkCNVP8YfCCKlaVUiG | aqzoig | {
"description": "not wanting to do free paintings for relatives",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITAH for not wanting to do free paintings for relatives | (On mobile and I cannot spell)
For some context I'm 18 doing full time college, dog sitting, and trying to get a second job for more pay. Usually I take one art class per quarter in college and this time it's a figure drawing class which has homework sketches that can take up to 5 hours to finish. I also started to make a new webtoon comic on top of all that. I got over 15 pets of my own to take care of too so i am super busy most days and any free time I have I want to spend it on myself.
So, usually I make painting sketches you name it for relatives because I Used enjoyed them and liked seeing them happy. They're old people in Ohio with nothing else to do except bug their grandkids :). Anyways lately more and more people have been asking me to make them paintings (some not relatives too) and my mom has decided to promise all of them that I will make them whatever they want. Before this was no problem but as I said I'm starting to get busy. The supplies are exspensive to buy too. Now as much as I like art i have a certain thing about making it for other people. I hate it. I cant make what I want, I dont get to keep it, and they're this pressure to make it as best as it could be. I like to draw for myself and it makes me happy. These paintings also can range from book sized to me sized too.
My family has this idea too that birds are my best thing I make but I havent enjoyed painting birds since middle school (when I was obsessed with it). Its boring now and I am starting to get mad at these art requests people are giving me. I told my mom I didnt want to do these anymore or at least not for free and she said I was being rude because it's easy for me to make them art. Sure I can make a painting in a day but it wont be that good, I'll hate it they'll love it should be no problem. Dont give me shit about me "bragging about being good either" I'm not the best I'm not saying I'm the best I'm just saying that people want to me make them free shit and I dont want to anymore because I'm not a little kid who doesnt need the money anymore.
So am i the asshole for wanting to either turn down or request pay from family for me to make them art?
| HISTORICAL | {
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wimGhztsU8f6utHqOmOdkKrHVtC6I9NK | b8zt6d | {
"description": "planning Easter activities with my kid close to a family member's death anniversary",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I plan Easter activities with my kid close to a family member's death anniversary? | My FIL passed on Easter weekend. MIL has trouble moving past it, and still mentioned him on a daily basis. She is also kind of dramatic and immature, and used her loneliness and grief to guilt people doing stuff for her (possibly subconsciously, but I can't be sure). She had not always been kind to me over the years and I have tried to shrug off the passive-aggressive comments towards me and my family, but due to me now having my own kids and a mild postpartum depression, I have started setting boundaries to protect my own sanity. This is not going well with the family but nothing has blown up yet.
I am generally an empathetic person and I understand grief never ends, but I don't want certain weekends to be defined by a tragedy forever. Especially when sometimes it feels like certain dates are used as reasons to make us visit. I want to plan fun things with my kids like Easter egg hunts, but I also want to be sensitive to the situation. It's only been a couple of years - my question is, WIBTA if I planned fun activities on Easter weekend this year? Will there be a time (e.g. few years later) that it ever becomes appropriate? I understand Easter falls on different weekends each year, but it had been remembered that he passed on Easter weekend and arguing it's a different date may sound even more insensitive? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
lJBCvCaaMNt1A0TZqsVI06Jd1eDKkPEc | ankjtn | {
"description": "confronting my mum for trying to manipulate both me and my Gf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For Confronting My Mum For Trying To Manipulate Both Me And My Gf | This is my first actual reddit post(other than asking the name of a weird orange fluffy ball that I brought because it looked cute)
I am also on mobile so this may not be the best post
Me(M16)
Gf(F16) Named E
Okay my family isn't the most fit or skinny, but me and my brother aren't obese by any definition of the word, but my mum is, she constantly projects the insecurities about her weight onto me and my brother, she constantly decides that we should start eating healthier, which I have already decoded to do months earlier, she talks about how I've gained weight.
Now one thing that should be pointed out, I've seen quite a few doctors and been passed around between organisations, all of the ones I've seen within the past few years all agree that I have some sort of depression and anxiety. I've struggled with this and before seeing the doctors I tried to convince myself I was fine and other things happened after which aren't relivant so I don't feel comfortable going into it.
Note that my mum is nutorious for lashing out and throwing tantrums, hitting things, slamming doors, and all of those beautiful things, she has never hit us but both me and my twin, 6ft 16 year olds still flinch from her screaming and slamming doors, mostly because my stepmum used to hit and hurt me constantly verbally and physically abuse me(this physical was only when it got really bad) screaming at me, calling me worthless pinning me against a wall with my hands behind my back, trying to push me down marble stairs, the list could go on. My mum knows all of this but still doesn't hesitate to do any of this.
Recently she has gotten better at not doing this(other than a tantrum in the car of her hitting the steering wheel screaming and pulling over the car) but when something happens she tends to hold thta against us that she hasn't acted outrageous recently so we should do this for her or we should realise we are in the wrong which I already have trouble with.
She knows about the depression and anxiety, in fact she has depression herself aswell but still treats me as if I know nothing about it.
She constantly points out my flaws, mainly focusing on my weight and commenting how I should "go to the gym more often" and " stop eating so much crap" it's gotten to the point I struggle to have a conversation with her without her bringing it up.
About a month before chrismas I try to explain to her how this is hurting me and I am struggling to handle my self worth already and she's making it worse, she then says that it's okay she'll stop. Next day in the car to school, "I know I promised not ot talk about your weight but have you thought about going to the gym with E". I then go into explain about how "E doesn't really have much time for the gym right now because of problems with family(which are extremely serious)"
The comments don't stop, and it reaches a point where I don't feel comfortable with her alone or in a position I can't not talk to her in so normally I have headphones in and am in my room or on my laptop. In the car she lectures me and weight and how I'm always alone and never downstairs, always in my room and how she thinks my depression is getting worse, she says all this while shouting at me (great way to make someone's depression better). I put up with it because anxiety I physically can't find the words to express myself in that moment.
My mum pulled me into her room a week ago and said both of us need to start being healthy because my twin is doing incredibly good at it. One day ago were all frustrated in the car and she gets us chocolate, small bars. I look in the bag and she goes to stop me, I tlel her to chill I'm just getting our chocolate out, I look in and there is so much shit in there. She gives the excuse its for her students in her class because they've been good.
Later that evening I walk into her room nick her charger for an hour because she was out and I find all of the chocolate wrappers and shit drawn out across her bed. This fucking infuriates me but I eventually calm down and let it pass because she was probably just frustrated at school today.
Now onto the the main part
E and my sister were both coming over to my house about 3 days after chrismas to eat dinner with us, the day goes past, my sister making fun of me, making me feel crappy and all that shit but I can get past that. My mum volenteers to take E home as her parents do the same for me alot.
My mum knows E deals with a lot of the same shit as me, even worse because of some other situations and stuff but still does thing. My mum knows that E is afraid of her and is afraid of not being liked by her.
Now until today I didn't know anything about the conversation that happened in the car. And thanks to it being about a month's ago not all details were remembered but if I find out the whole convo I'll edit and post it here.
My mum spends the trying trying to convince E to bring me to the gym and make me eat better foods, when she tells her it's my life and keeps going after told she can't because I'm my own person, trying to pressure her to do it, I was told later on by my gf that she was afraid of her in this situation as if she'd be angry at E.
I am really struggling with this, because my mother who I'm already struggling to trust after the repeated tantrums and things like that(also an incident where she probably looked into my diary my doctor said I should write) repeatedly points out my flaws and says I need more excersise and that I'm getting to big and all that shit and then she goes behind my back and tries to pressure my socially anxious E to then pressure me into doing what she wants.
Ive also tried explaining to her that I have been eating healthy and excersing but she seems to relentlessly mirroring her flaws onto me.
I want to confront her about what she did to E, because I can put up with it if it's me but there is no need to bring E into this, and I'm especially angry because she played on E's fear of her and not being liked by her to get what she wants from E.
E doesn't want me to because she's afraid that it will make her hate E. But I feel like this has to stop and I know if I don't confront her she will most likely do something similar again. I also have extreme problems with my mum breaking my trust again and going behind my back.
Summary- Mum decides let's eat healthy, doesn't, does this repeatedly, shouts at me for it, shouts at me for my depression getting worse because she's making me self conscious, tries to pressure my gf into pressuring me to do what she wants.
Would I be the asshole if I confronted my mum about it even though E is scared for me to? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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6i667foZpf3EH1KjWgMtxSbjYDr8QTB4 | an61v2 | null | AITA in this discussion with one of the mods at r/fitness? | So I know this is really petty and probably even stupid, but I feel like one of the mods at r/fitness just deleted my post without reading it, and then refused to admit he/she was wrong so instead decided to just be mean for no reason. This is just my perspective of course, but I really feel like they were being an asshole here! My side: I posted a question about Chipotle that was ***specifically*** catered towards my fitness goals. To me, it would make more sense to post it in r/fitness than somewhere like r/askreddit, because the users at fitness are going to have more knowledge and experience with meal options that fit the specific description I gave, and for the specific reasons I gave. Okay, so they removed my post, the problem is that they were telling me that my post had nothing to do with fitness, and that I was basically just asking if any good food exists besides chipotle. Luckily the entire conversation is here on reddit, so you guys can see both perspectives.
​
So here is a screenshot of the original post in question, as well as my message to the mods and the response I got back.
​
[https://imgur.com/a/HFH79MI](https://imgur.com/a/HFH79MI)
​
What I especially don't understand is how this person can honestly say that the post has "nothing of substance whatsoever" and that it has nothing to do with fitness. The mod certainly seems to think that I'm being an asshole here, I think they are. What do you think?
​
Note: I was also "muted" from the sub, I guess for making the mod angry? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
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} | RIGHT |
yrZaWZGBHb34LSMShE4NQMhJb2KyhoJN | a1dd82 | {
"description": "not moving cart in grocery aisle",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA: not moving cart in grocery aisle | Say you're looking at cans of food at the grocery store. It's not a super crowded day, and my cart isn't all the way to the side, but there is barely enough space to pass. Maybe only I can tell because I'm standing closer. A polite but smug woman stops and asks me to move the cart without attempting to get by first, just assuming it was too tight. So I pretend not to hear at first, the second time she says something I say something to the effect of "pretty sure you can make it." So she tries, and it's tight but fine. I feel guilty, I admit this is a petty thing to do, but is it that terrible? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
k3Rfnnr1u9ddrovsLTASBFSoeij2XmLi | avdgxi | {
"description": "sacking off 40th husbands birthday becausse he is an ass",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I sacked off 40th husbands birthday becausse he is an ass | So I think I may be getting a ESH, but I think I just wanted a rant and see that normally people make really good suggestions on how to move something forward.
So I live with my husband and little brother (brother since last October Long story) husband is 29 and brother is 28. I have lived with my husband for 6 years and I have to kick him up the ass quite a lot about being lazy around the house and basically making me his bloody mother. But since my brother moved in I know feel like I have two children, I had a bit of a melt down new year about the mess and feeling like they were taking the mick and it got better. I still do all of the cooking, sort bills and make sure there is food and everything runs but they have at least started to put clothes in and out and wash dishes still got to push them but been better.
Little brother has been trying hard to help out, husband past few weeks since we book a holiday (sept Dubai) has basically just been super lazy. Watched me de icing my car (have a bad back) and walked past, and few other little things. Went to the gym Monday night (aqua fit) great for my back from work. Messaged him during the day and said can you do tea gave him instructions and said I’d be back at 7pm, gets in at 5 past. Brother is upstairs playing x box and husband sat watching Gotham…. He comes in and says he’ll quickly boil some pasta and put tinned tomatoes on it so its not dry.
I walk into the kitchen nothing oven is on and he jumps up and starts going on like Mr Bean as he doesn’t when he’s being shit.. I was just erm I was waiting for the oven to warm up and I am just looking at him. I have a go at him and say to him its just shit. I said last night I am just not sure I want to bother doing any thing for his birthday as were booked to go away for his birthday for 4 nights with friends. I have arranged a meal with friends and a surprise overnight in a posh manor. Because I feel like I am going out of my way to be nice and he just half arses everything. He is generally a good persona do will do things if asked but honestly valentines I got a bracelet that didn’t fit. Nothing for my 30th, the list goes on he is just generally crap at this stuff. Starting to feel like really punishing him is the only way for him to see that I am not his mum. The birthday debacles go on been together 10 years. Not I am just not speaking much.
TL:DR husband being lazy, even lazier since little brother moved in shall I sack off his 40th to teach him a lesson. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
NaM0H69DyWHrrzAYUFU4zKP6evo2WP4K | aqym3z | {
"description": "being mad at my preachy and hypocritical friends",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my preachy and hypocritical friends? | No matter how this ends, it's gonna be awkward because one of the friends is my college roommate. Also, this is my first post so here goes. I've been annoyed by how often my roommate rants about even the most slightly controversial things (she's always been doing this somewhat regularly but it's been daily since last week). For example, last night, my friends and I were watching a movie and there was a scene where a woman takes off her bra but her breasts weren't on-screen (the movie was rated PG-13) and she whined for a solid 5 minutes about how sexualized breasts are and that they should be revered as "life-giving and sacred," then ended it with how bras are "designed by men to oppose women/women should 'free their nipples.'" She does this with other things she sees and reads about, and although she's entitled to her own opinion, I hate how out-of-the-blue and constant it is. Every time I try to counter her with an opposing opinion or become visibly irritated, everyone calls me rude. I just think they're overreacting. The fact that I'm never taken seriously since I don't talk and act like they do has bothered me since day one, but I kept my mouth shut about it since they're--apparently--good people.
It doesn't end here though because what really set me off was another one of my friends saying that everyone in Wisconsin is racist--and they all know that I was born and raised in Wisconsin. I then explained that from personal experience, that's not true, but they ignored me anyway. Overall, they claim to be accepting but treat me like I'm from another planet and aren't afraid to personally offend me when I'm right in front of them. I've been considering drifting away from them and making some other friends instead, yet I'm afraid to at the same time since I need to pick my roommate for sophomore year next month. Am I as inconsiderate as they say I am, or am I just a bad friend?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 21,
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RftUYDjLAZYfaK0Zy7Fys4RJXDxlAmny | azkofy | null | AITA: my mom wants to give my rabbit away for a day for a photo shoot and I'm pissed. | We have big ole holland lop bunnies and we had like 7 at one point but after years they get old. We have 4 left and I do most of the work in then with food and cleaning. Before I had 4 rabbits one that was 8 years old and we had to put it down. So later my mom decided she doesnt want one of my rabbits because it's a male who had brain damage from birth and has lots of issues and has to be cleaned a lot. She gave it away and the people killed it in a week they say they didnt do anything wrong but I dont believe it. Then my favorite rabbit died from skin rot, which just happens theres nothing I could have done to prevent it and we put it down because there was no other thing to do she was older as well.
Now present day I'm down to 1 rabbit to my name but we have 3 others. My mom has promised a lady MY rabbit for a photo shoot only for a day but still. We are out of town so no one would be there to keep an eye on my rabbit and this photo is with babies and toddlers who havent a clue how to handle rabbits. Last time we dod this it was with out older buck rabbit sweetest thing and it died from a mysterious illness probably caused by one of those germ infested kids. These kids feed our rabbits random shit too so I at least want to be there to monitor the situation. I told my mom this she said I was being dramatic and that she trusted this lady, who I dont know. I told her to use one of her rabbits or my sisters and she claimed they're all my rabbits so why would it matter which one she chooses. This rabbit is the nicest sweetest thing and I would hate to see it stressed and possibly die from this. So now am I the asshole for refusing this lady my rabbit for the photo. It's in a month so she can find another person's rabbit. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iMqwgqhb9GVAz80LBxbBh6XFHqzzgwkV | arf9h4 | {
"description": "not wanting to meet my father's new gilfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to meet my father’s new gilfriend? | About 1 1/2 years ago my father packed his stuff and moved in with his girlfriend without saying anything to me (21m). Since then my parents have been going through a messy divorce. I’ll meet with my father for lunch/dinner around once a week or so. He is still supportive of me and pays for half of my college tuition. He was cheating on my mother (an angel) for years with various women. He has a narcissistic personality and seeks constant validation from anyone and everything—he needs to be the greatest, and generally holds it over my head that I would be unable to pursue an education without his help, but this is besides the point.
Now I still enjoy getting together, staying in contact etc., but he is extremely hurt that I have no desire to meet his GF who I see as a homewrecker. It should be mentioned he has actually cheated on her as well and got some other lady pregnant (or at least thought he did, now he’s not sure if it’s his but I suspect he just doesn’t want to pay child support). His main GF and him are still together despite her knowing about this but it just goes to show how meaningless most relationships seem to him and therefore I don’t see the point in meeting this woman. I’d feel incredibly awkward and probably dislike her even if she’s a fine person just because of the fact that it’s such a weird situation for me.
So AITA? Should I just man up and stomach this confrontation to appease my father? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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9IGgZXJmw5A0bWHSpG9raG9DDqUVt21Y | aznyyl | {
"description": "buying conflicting plane tickets",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For buying conflicting plane tickets? | I recently bought plane tickets to go home for spring break, but I forgot that the last weekend of my break conflicts with the first weekend some family are in the city of my university. They aren't coming specifically to see me, and there are more days where I will be present than absent while they are there, but my current plane tickets have me coming back 3 days after they arrive. My dad is ballistic about this. I can always cancel and buy another ticket, but that is an obscene amount of money. AITA for making these conflicting plans by accident? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
M7mP6fvLNssIMAnpzMhN4EMvHBO8dIvr | a5sjam | {
"description": "caring that people forgot my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Caring That People Forgot My Birthday? | Basically, my birthday came to pass. I have several friends who I thought were close. On my birthday, only my immediate family remembered and said anything, other than one of my close friends P. Well, come to find out, my fiance had messaged P the night before to remind her. I only found that out today and I'm actually more hurt by this than I was originally by no one telling me.
​
​
I know there are a million reasons to forget a birthday, and I don't think any of them are assholes, but I feel like I'm being an asshole by making a big deal out of it and by caring so much, because I know it shouldn't matter really. P doesn't know I know she was reminded, and I didn't really say anything about it to anyone else, though I did express to my brother and my fiance how much it really is bothering me. My mom told me I was being an asshole by talking about it so much and I should move on, that she and my dad never celebrate their birthdays and stuff like that.
​
​
I don't know, am I an asshole for being so bothered by this? Or am I an asshole because I bring it up? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dbVLNP2KESIvBWySlSSCvcK0OreMKTtX | auqiur | {
"description": "ditching my prom date at the door",
"pronormative_score": 86,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ditching my prom date at the door? | This happened a while back but it still bugs me to this day, you guys let me know if I'm the asshole.
So my mother's cleaning lady and I were friends, when I got home from school we would chat a little bit. She told me a lot about her daughter's boyfriend who was a real POS. In and out of jail, drugs, Etc and apparently right before prom the boyfriend and the daughter broke up leaving the daughter without a prom date. Cleaning lady liked me and asked me if I would take her daughter to prom but with a caveat, the daughters good friend also needed a date for prom and would I be able to find someone to take her. Cleaning lady also tells me daughter's friend is very short, like 4 foot 9.
With this in mind I talk to my friend Luke, good kid and also on the shorter side maybe about five foot three. Really nice guy, was having trouble in the girl department at this time, and his family was filthy stinking rich. Like elevator in their house rich.
Luke says it sounds great and i set the whole thing up.
So the day of prom arise and Luke's parents let him borrow their beautiful, brand new Lincoln Navigator to take the girls to prom in. We pick the girls up and go to a nice Chinese restaurant. That's when everything starts turning pear-shaped.
Luke's date is a complete jerk to him, like jaw-dropping comments regarding his height. All throughout dinner she is making fun of him and my date is joining in here and there. I felt so bad for poor Luke. He's a good kid and I could see him near tears with these girls picking on him. As a side note upon first arriving at the restaurant, Luke's date opens up the menu and loudly proclaimed "What the fuck! this is all Chink food!" My date is rolling with laughter while I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I remember thinking to myself "what the hell did this idiot expect from a restaurant called China Palace".
After an hour and a half of these girls berating my friend I had had enough. They get up to go to the bathroom and I talked to Luke. I tell him that their behavior is unacceptable and I'm so sorry for dragging him into this. I suggest that we take them to the dance, pull up outside the doors, and kick them out of the car and tell them to have a good time.
The girls get back from the bathroom and we put our plan into action. Load them up in the car, drive them to their High School, and while we're in the parking lot I turn around from the passenger seat and inform them that we will not be taking them to the dance because of how they acted. These girls were hella pissed, screaming, swearing, calling us names but we didn't back down. We wish them all the best and kick them out of the car.
The next time I saw cleaning lady she apologized for her daughter's actions after I told her my version of events. Even she knew that her daughter and her daughter's friends could be pretty trashy. This happened some time ago but the whole incident still weighs on me, so what do you think am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 85,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 86,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
EUfZYoUReXXs02jhrLG5mqZ4518eNkGR | b2fk0g | {
"description": "not wanting to babysit my niece",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to babysit my niece? | My niece is going on 7 months and I love her to death but every other week for several days straight my older sister drops her off for me and my mom to babysit. She has a job but I do as well and I get no choice if I even want to care for her. I am just expected to babysit during my days off without any pay for several hours. Its hard enough to deal with work, but I also have online classes to do. Is it wrong to say I don't want to care for her? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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EuIIZMBLnX5FPBverg71fY3ofcx0ynsh | b8oknt | {
"description": "choosing non pregnant cousin over pregnant/single cousin to move in with me",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for choosing non pregnant cousin over pregnant/single cousin to move in with me. | So I (25) recently inherited a 4 bedroom house in a the suburbs not to far from the beach near LA. I own the house outright, so no mortgage or anything. I was very excited about the prospect of getting a little more independence, but at the same time I didn't really want to live alone yet. So, I started looking for a roommate. Being that I don't need to pay a mortgage I thought I could offer a really great deal and get my ideal roommate. Someone who had a similar lifestyle to me.
​
A few weeks ago my family found out that my cousin on my moms side, Lupe (27), is pregnant. The dad is not in the picture. She currently lives with her dad in a 2 bedroom apartment about a 45 minute drive from the town where my new house is, which also happens to be the town where her job is. So we (Lupe, her dad, and my other cousin, Maria (32) all went out to lunch a week or so later. The subject of my new house came up and Maria asked me if I was going to have a roommate. I said I was. The conversation then started getting steered towards how it would be so great for Lupe and the baby to live there. The town is safe, there's lots of parks, good school district, its so close to her work, the house has so much space, etc. I felt very put on the spot and just said I was waiting to hear from a few other people.
​
When I got home I thought about it some more and decided I definitely did not want to live with Lupe and a newborn. I'm still pretty young and want to be able to have fun without worrying that there's a baby in the house. I didn't want to have to turn one of my bedrooms into a nursery. I wanted a computer room and a room dedicated to my art projects, not a nursery. I didn't even want to baby proof the house at all. So, in a panic I started messaging all my best friends and family on my dads side to see if anyone wanted to move in with me for $600 a month (which is a pretty great deal around here).
​
The next day my cousin Alice (25) on my dads side says she would totally be up for it. I was so happy. We're the same age and spent so much time growing up with each other, Our hobbies and backgrounds are very similar, so, I said great.
​
When my moms side of the family found out they started hinting that I was playing favorites with my dads side of the family. Which is kind of true. I spent a lot more time with them then I ever did with my moms side of the family. Basically every holiday I spent with them. We went on trips together. In general I think I'm just more comfortable with them. Which does makes me feel like an asshole. Lupe asked before anyone else about moving in and it would definitely have made her life a lot easier if she lived with me, but I just didn't want to live with her.
​
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
iDyoCb8D54RD8jitFS4vK66ZoldPCMuy | ay3mjk | {
"description": "using the placebo effect as an analogy for hypno-therapy",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for using the placebo effect as an analogy for hypno-therapy? | Like in the title, I think that therapies like meditation and hypnosis are valuable; however, I also believe that they are mostly driven by psychological state rather than an external chemical stimulus like a drug. I got my wife very angry by calmly saying this. I have a PhD in medicinal chemistry so I'm not a layman in terms of pharmaceutical medicine. AITA? My feelings are that if any other expert/scientist was expressing their scepticism, she would respect their expert opinion; however, with me their is a lack of respect. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
0DeA0UOJvgQ8sXBd3I9nLupnH5Q7ra6k | av6pbm | {
"description": "not wanting to move back home with my boyfriend of two years",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not wanting to move back home with my boyfriend of two years? | So my boyfriend and I are living in a major city, about a thousand miles away from where we are both from. We dated back in the day for around 8 months when we both lived in our hometowns and parted ways when our lives weren't going in the same direction. Coincidentally, we both moved to the same city a couple years later and we reconnected and now have been dating here for about a year and a half.
We've been doing pretty well and we just moved in together, having signed a preliminary 6 month lease. I thought things were going great, he is in graduate school and is working a really awesome job on the side that is exactly what he wants to do, and I'm working full-time and just completed my application for grad school. He's been going through a really hard time recently, as his grandpa who raised him recently just passed two weeks ago. He spent around two weeks in his hometown surrounded by his family and friends before the passing and after, and I joined him for various parts of the process. He's been back for three days now and he just seems really down, which is understandable.
However, today he dropped the bomb on me that he wants to be out of the city by June and wants to move back home to be with his family and friends because he says he's miserable here and he hates the city that we live in. He has never given me any indication that he hates this place, in fact all he does is rave about his job and I thought he really liked it here. He says he hates the people here, that he doesn't feel appreciated in his job, and that he has no friends and really wants to be around people that support him. So essentially, in my mind, he's willing to give up an awesome job and quit grad school to move back to a place that he used to complain about non-stop. I feel I should also mention that he does have mild clinical depression and he used to be treated, but is no longer on medication.
The thing that makes me the most angry is that he says he's been feeling this way since last November, way before I had officially decided whether or not I wanted to go back to grad school, and he knew this. I don't understand why he didn't tell me that he was feeling this way because had he, I might be more open to the idea of moving back home, but as it stands with my commitments, I don't want to go. I'm about to go over to his house to have a discussion with him about this, and I know I'm going to tell him that I don't want to leave. I love him, but I can't tell if he's throwing everything away to move back home, or if I'm throwing everything away with him by refusing to go with.
WIBTA for not wanting to move back home with my boyfriend? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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QObw6jF5UVNgFCufOGplrplt21xXpmNv | a2dahf | {
"description": "not paying my temporary host",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not paying my temporary host? | For my summer internship, I needed to go to a different city which meant I had to find a place to live. I was browsing any rooms to rent near the area when I saw a $500 per month post which I was interested and contacted the person. I was shown the place and everything looked fine. We reached an agreement and rented me his extra room for $500 a month, everything included, for 3 months. From mid May to mid September (this is important)
However, right away I realized I hated the place the first day. I live in Texas, which is pretty hot. I was never told that the A/C was to be turned off when we were both out of the apartment, so when we arrive from work the inside was a crisp 85-90 degrees. It was the summer. The A/C took all night to get to a temperature of 75-80 degrees. Sweated every night btw. No big deal, I didn't care. Just put up with it.
However, around the second month, I was asked if I can help with electric bill because it was summer and light bill is higher, I was like, "why not?" So I said I'll help out. Big mistake. From then on I was requested money to help for light bill. Again, I said why not. Usually $100. No big deal.
My last week staying there came up, I thought that's it. Nope, more money was wanted, $150 for those two weeks for the light bill, when I confronted the person, saying that I couldn't even leave the A/C on, suffered every night with sweat, plus, I would leave on weekends to stay with my family, and that I didn't even have a TV in my room so I couldn't have used that much electricity and that my kindness was being taken advantage of they replied, "$150, no further discussion".
I was mad. So I told the person I was paying them my next check because I was broke (college student) and gave the person $70 (all I had). Decided to not pay him after I left. I feel bad, that's not necessarily like me. AITA???? | HISTORICAL | {
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2iaxhUKRbNJ042nhQdMRBeH7H50150Xj | b9p35g | null | AITA My dad called a kid a c*nt | I am 16, my dad is 43
I’ve been wondering if my dad is the asshole for a while now.
Something u should know is that my dad has pretty bad brain damage that causes him severe depression and anger. He got the head injury in a car crash 14 years ago which makes him be extremely careful when driving
Anyway this happened 4 months ago in Mississippi
My mom was driving on a 60 mph speed limit road, going about 55
We hear a loud beep from the car behind and then a minute later it does a prolonged beep and overtakes our car, probably going about 70 mph and then zooms off.
We catch up to it a few minutes later as it parked on the grass and a boy, prolly 15 ish, gets out with a tennis racket
My dad yells at the car out his window “what are you beeping for!”
The boy then gives him the finger and my dad yells “You C*nt!”
And then we drive off and never see them again.
Is my dad the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
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9gwDunasvPNPjRSambMKWtBOHBcuw0sY | b303uq | {
"description": "expecting my girlfriend to do the cooking and cleaning",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 60
} | AITA For expecting my girlfriend to do the cooking and cleaning? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 years and live together, but I own the house and it's solely in my name.
My salary is about 2x my girlfriend's, so I pay more of the rent/utilities. To compensate, she does the cooking and cleaning. Which has worked out fine for the last two years.
Lately, she's been getting irritable about some of the chores. AITA for thinking she needs to do more of the housework since I pay more of the rent/utilities? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 60,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 6
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 60
} | WRONG |
xJsyIT3EgECjHfNde5N0HOOgZLwDuT97 | ansuku | {
"description": "hoping my invalid grandfather will die soon",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for hoping my invalid grandfather will die soon? | I have a grandfather who was injured about 50 years ago in a work accident. As he grew into his 70s he grew less able to move and take care of himself. At first my grandmother took care of him and he lived in their place, but they couldn't get along, so eventually my mother offered to take him in. I wasn't really happy with it but I don't think I had a say in the matter and anyway it was objectively the correct thing to do. This has been going on for about 3-4 years. I hate him and hope he dies soon. For your reading convenience, here is a list of reasons why:
Things that suck because of him but aren't his fault:
1. My brother and I have to share a bedroom despite us being both teenagers. This is generally a mild inconvenience but one of us has to take turns sleeping on the floor which isn't very comfortable (also this makes masturbating a lot harder)
2. Our college fund is being depleted because of his medical expenses (it's not so bad that it's all gone or anything but enough to be worrying)
3. He sometimes has to wake people at night because of illness and various ailments and we get no sleep
Things that suck partly because of him, but also it's complicated
4. Him being an invalid that needs constant care. This isn't exactly his fault, but he has also refused to do physiotherapy that could help him regain a good deal of mobility and quality of life. If he kept up with physio he would still have some use of his right arm, but now he barely does. And also he would be able to walk with a walker, but now needs people to support him all the time, or a wheelchair.
5. Our house constantly smells like shit and piss. Again, not exactly his fault he has difficulty peeing and passing motion, but if he had kept up with physiotherapy he likely would have more use of his core muscles so it wouldn't be this bad. Also he shouts abuse at his caregivers when they try to give him water to drink so naturally his excretions are painful.
6. He screams very loudly whenever he's taking a shit (I'm sure it hurts but the doctors can't do anything if he doesn't drink more water) and my ears hurt and I hate it.
Things that I'm reasonably sure are mostly his fault:
7. He abuses his caregivers. This includes my mother, his daughter. He uses obscene words (in a different language that basically translate to filthy whore or cunt but sound a lot more personal (it's a bit hard to explain))
8. He injures his caregivers: while he still could walk, he swung at my grandmother (his wife) with a walking stick; he kicks out at whoever is his maid; he also deliberately puts all his weight on you while walking and tries to walk in an odd lurch which puts a lot of strain on whoever is supporting him: my dad got backaches, one of the maid's cesarean scar reopened and got infected somehow, and another one got abdominal pains.
9. He used obscene words on my then 11 year old brother
10. He calls people at night way more than can be reasonably tolerated. Like I get that he's old and sick but we literally bought him a hospital bed so he could sleep better and he sometimes (like once a week at least) wakes everybody up several times a night to tinker with the settings to tilt the bed up and down and then when people have to go to school or work on 5 hours of sleep he naps in the daytime
10a. We learned to live with this as long as he didn't do it too often but while in the month while I was taking my A-level exams he did it nearly every day such that my parents pleaded with him to stop because I needed more than 5 hours of sleep to function during exams and I swear he only did it more to the point where I considered begging the school to let me sleep in school. As a bonus shortly after A-levels were over, he became less noisy. Could be just me being paranoid though.
11. He is really religious and afraid of dying so he wakes people up at night to ask them to pray for his soul and doesn't really see the irony in this.
12. When he's out in public he does everything to make it seem like we abuse him. (we don't. I fantasize about him choking to death but that's about it). There was once we were in this restaurant and he drooled over himself and my mom reached out to wipe his face and he screamed and started tearing up and wailing like she hit him. Also when we bring him to the exercise park, he refuses to do the exercises, starts tearing up and pleads with us to "have mercy on a poor old man" and to "stop bullying this poor old man" when we literally did nothing but ask him to exercise.
That should give you a good picture. From a utilitarian point of view, I think that if he just fucking chokes to death in his sleep, it would greatly increase the overall happiness and decrease the overall suffering in the universe. I recognize that having fantasies about smothering him with a pillow don't really reflect well on me and I'll probably go to hell. So lay it on me, I guess.
| HISTORICAL | {
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UXh48wws7t98NyirEmCfHYvbjq40HN6f | a4wyua | {
"description": "revoking the groomsman title and wedding invitation from my brother",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for revoking the groomsman title and wedding invitation from my brother? | I’m 24, getting married in March next year, my younger brother is 20. We never got along until recent years, and it’s still a bit rocky due to him being an “ex” drug addict, and now an alcoholic.
6 months ago he totaled his truck, due to reasons unknown to us, he says the brakes were going out and finally quit when he was taking a corner. At the same time, I had gotten a real good deal on a car at the dealership I go to, but I already had a car loan and didn’t really want to take on the extra payments. I was talking to him about it a few days after his crash, he said he really needed a new car, and offered to take over my payments and I could get the new car.
Now, at this point I DID have enough money to cover both, and I know he isn’t as financially stable or able as I. I considered the deal, and eventually accepted. Under the preface that if he ever got into financial trouble, to let me know before anything, because I could handle paying the payment on both cars for a few months if absolutely necessary. He told me he was all good, working more than usual, and earning more spending money.
Fast forward to last week, my other brother called to ask if I check out original brothers new car yet? Wtf? Call him up, says he ended up getting his girlfriends grandparents to give him a down payment and cosignature on a brand new truck. Ok cool, but whatabout the payments on the car I gave him?
Turns out, according to my original loaners, he hadn’t made a single payment since I gave him the car, and was $1700 in the hole, they were sending it to collections and attempting to repossess it unless I got them $1500 up front. Now, the money isn’t a big deal to me. I put up the money to cover it, and the other brother wants it, but that’s a story for another day.
The issue for me, is I am so close to being married, buying my first house, and starting my life, and he had no issue with letting my credit get rocked for the $8000 left on the car and not saying anything to me about it. He was 100% willing to continue on with letting the car get repossessed without even calling or sending a warning text to me.
I’ve lost all respect and trust for the kid, I’m definitely not allowing him to be a groomsman anymore, which sucks, because I thought it would help us bond, but I’m also considering just not inviting him whatsoever.
So, reddit, AITA or would I be for not inviting him, or making him a groomsman? | HISTORICAL | {
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9PTaBDc4pIP9fsNjqaRYdkN6PS7pSXqH | adarfr | {
"description": "getting upset over money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset over money? | Last week my boyfriend and I got into it and I just wanted to know AITA for it:
​
One consistent issue we have is him making what I feel are unilateral decisions about our finances. We've had this discussion a few times over the last 4 years.
​
About a week ago, we had a discussion about how tight money was going to be this month because both of our incomes were going to be about 1/4 less than normal. I brought something up that I thought we needed and it was decided we wouldn't spend the money on it.
​
That same day, we both needed oil changes and we headed off to the shop to go get them done. In the car he told me he got a package (a card with 3 oil changes and 1 free) that would cost X amount of money and could he use my card to pay for it. I said fine and he went in to pay for it. I get a notification on my phone after he swipes and it ended up costing Z amount, which was almost double what we discussed.
​
The argument came about because we had JUST discussed not spending large amounts of money unnecessarily this month. I told him I was angry that 1) He didn't let me know before spending that amount of money on something and 2) He spent that amount of money on something that we didn't ACTUALLY need.
​
He says he was wrong for not letting me know (while also saying he would have just used his own money if I had said no), but said he wasn't in the wrong for spending money that we really don't have on something we wouldn't need (at least not for another 3 months when our income would go back up) especially since just hours before we decided not to spend money on something that we did actually need.
​
AITA for being irritated at the course of events?
​
TL/DR: BF spent almost double what we discussed for something we won't need for 3 months after having a discussion about not spending money on things we won't need.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Cu3isBPoevPkfoVKooIpCHLKdewyeMN0 | abh2g1 | {
"description": "being cold to my parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being cold to my parents? | I'm a senior in college right now home for the break. I act pretty cold to my parents, not intentionally but I do acknowledge I don't talk to them like I do friends. I would feel awkward going out to eat with them one on one and I only rarely initiate conversation with them. This is what they're upset about, that I don't actively want to / seek out to spend time with them or talk to them. That said, I do occasionally joke around with them and whatnot.
​
My reasoning:
1. They actively judge me negatively on whatever I do. For example, I used to be extremely antisocial in high school and they consistently called me weird / judged me for not being social.
2. After developing a social life in college, they judged me for partying too much, so I stopped talking about what I do in college, parties I go to, etc. with them. I came home buzzed a couple of days ago and they pretty much yelled at me.
3. They were extremely non-supportive of my weight loss journey, I lost 90 lbs over two years and it seems all they focused on throughout the process was calling me anorexic for counting calories and watching what I eat.
4. They consistently and heatedly argued intensely in my youth which always added stress to my life as a kid, I feel I still slightly resent them for this, deep down.
5. They migrated from a poor Asian country before I was born and always bring this up whenever we get into arguments, claiming they gave up their life back there so I could have a better life here. I have nothing to refute this and I am grateful but this is what they bring up to get me every time.
6. I lent them a very large amount of money to help them out with bills two years ago. They ALWAYS bring this up, asking me if this is why I 'resent' them. I don't even think about the money as a factor, but no matter how much I tell them, they still bring it up.
​
They manage to guilt me every single time I come back home, making me feel like a terrible son for not being chummy with them. I don't mind them, I don't dislike them, I just don't feel I have that great of a close relationship with them. I can't pinpoint a single reason to provide them with either, it's just the way I am and when I tell them that, I feel shitty. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
vvQxO8eu0x3wFGHdhhUbwdVA9MM0xYPo | as8kz3 | {
"description": "wanting to avoid a shitty ex-friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to avoid a shitty ex-friend? | Back in April I met this guy, AN we'll call him. AN and I hit it off, we start a FWB thing. He introduces me to his friends, one of them, TT, talks to me quite often over insta. Now, AN and I were spending quite a bit of time together and it was clear we were developing feelings. I told him how often TT and I talked and he told me TT was just trying to sleep with me. AN told me that TT had literally asked AN if he could ask me out. I message TT, clarify that I have no interest in "homie hopping" and that we're just friends. TT acquiesced, but a few weeks later blows up on me for something random, says some rude shit in front of our friends. Eventually apologized but it was clear why he was upset.
TT and I were friends for a while (about 6 months) while AN and I navigated our increasingly complicated relationship. We had lots of meaningful conversations.
Eventually shit between AN and I reaches a boiling point & things are ended. Shortly after things are ended, TT and I hang out. I joke that I need some rebound sex. TT literally says to me, "You're trying to get laid, I'm trying to get laid..." I cut him off there- him and AN are still friends, I know AN had feelings for me, I'm not comfortable getting between two good friends. Besides, I told him we were never going to be more than friends. He agrees. The next day he texts me and tells me he was an idiot for suggesting it; I tell him it's alright, I understand why you brought it up.
Suddenly we stop talking as much. Days go by without communication, when previously we would at least share memes or music daily.
And again, out of nowhere he BLOWS UP on me over messenger. He said some unbelievably hurtful things. He used insecurities I've confided in him against me. My self esteem took a massive blow; I cried myself to sleep several times (which is very out of character, I'm not a crier) and I even relapse into self harm.
It took a lot of work to get over what he said, I was already in a very delicate state because of AN's treatment of me. My current boyfriend helped me trust men again because after those two, I felt like I was worthless aside from my looks.
I've avoided TT since, and generally moved on. Despite my best efforts, he's always around my other friends and I ran into him; he asked if we could talk. He "apologized," by saying he "was very stressed out about being in the middle of AN and I's 'break-up'" (which, to be fair, we did put him in the middle of) and I happened to be who he blew up on. I told him I have moved on but I want nothing to do with him.
Now some of our friends think I'm being an asshole, while to me it's clear TT was just waiting for good chance to get in my pants, and never really valued my friendship. They think I should move on.
Tl;Dr: AITA for wanting to avoid an ex friend who devasted me and gave me a flimsy non apology?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Cj3DOOKIFJicibOcc8tGG7I2QsokNFxY | abm5ze | {
"description": "not being able to tolerate my friends boyfriend because of his mental disabilities",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not being able to tolerate my friends boyfriend because of his mental disabilities? | My husband and I have a mutual friend who we adore very much, who we will call Charlie. Charlie has been with his current boyfriend for over 3 years. When we met his bf, Paul, we were told he had some mental issues (not specifics) but was mostly fully functional. Charlie also has some issues but we get along just fine.
Paul seemed childlike in his behaviour, but we had fun, so we made many plans for us to hang out as a group. As time went on our patience has worn thin, to the point where we really don't want to see Paul anymore.
Imagine you have a 25 year old, 6 foot tall 5 year old. A million little things like taking food without asking, making messes in the living room, going through your stuff... To joking about playing a "prank" on you involvong your phobia. He has even tried to kiss/grope my bf. Every time we see him, he does something to genuinely anger my bf or I.
Once or twice we have hung out with Charlie, stating that Paul wasn't welcome, which Charlie was very understanding of. He knows how Paul is and knows he's crossed the line so many times, and tries to tell Paul but Paul just doesn't get it.
We wanted to spend new years with Charlie so extended our invite to include Paul, and it went as expected. Afterwards my husband and I just spent 20 minutes venting to each other about all the ways Paul had annoyed us this time.
I realize this isn't healthy, and I feel cruel smiling at Paul and pretending to have fun when in reality I just want to never see him again, but we don't know how else to be able to see Charlie regularly.
Are we the assholes here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
LCx1hOA3zAAd91bIYNW5QoaPRPkZaYOn | b2vi6f | {
"description": "not understanding simple things, and always wanting them to be explained to me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | aita by not understanding simple things, and always wanting them to be explained to me? | some things I don't really get, apparently I'm bright but I can't make connections. example, I don't see why having a workspace with all my game cards and other junk next to me. why I shouldn't leave my bed unmade, why I should study really hard. I'm yet to get answers. I always ask my mum about things I don't see the point to, and why I should do them. she always tells me
a. you should already know
b. your playing me, you can't be that stupid.
c. just do it. a mother should be able to tell her kid to do something, and they'll do it. they won't question it.
she doesn't get I want answers. she gets angry when I pester her, and says I'm always want a better answer, and I'm just trying to find an excuse not to do stuff. my problem is she doesn't answer, I'm not picky I just want a reason. she also has a very do as I say, but not as I do. example, she's a hoarder, and has a room in the house *just* for her stuff. she does work from home there. but, even with her crap all around, it's still a good study environment? she says it's because she's lived her life, that's why she has it all. (notice, not answering the question). if I point that out, she will repeatedly call be a smart-ass, and I should be more respectful.
am I really attention seeking? am I being rude to her? am I just so dumb I can't see the problem here? this is tearing up our relationship. I want to do something, but I want to know the problem before I try solve it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3ylPqMTBepKnYV8qBX2yM2iPs4e3vP7X | a6khpn | {
"description": "being angry at my friend bcs he cancelled plans and now Im stuck with a bill he won't pay",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For being angry at my friend bcs he cancelled plans and now im stuck with a bill he won't pay | so me and a couple of friends were gonna go spend new years eve at a club and we had a reserved table at the club, it costs us just short of $500, we were 5 but 2 people backed out and said that they never said ''yes''. while this is true to some degree, they said ''i wanna go'' when i asked them if they wanted to join, and they even took part in the planning of what alcohol should be at the table when we arrived, today, 2 weeks before new years, idk if i can cancel the table with the club.. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
BFiDSxfDOtZwcbf95guDAQfl2ES61i9f | a66zkh | {
"description": "having some weird driving habits I refuse to change",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for having some weird driving habits I refuse to change? | I've only been driving since February of this year, so I'm still pretty new and not super comfortable on the road yet. I've developed some habits that help me feel more comfortable, but every time someone else is in my car they have a lot to say about how I'm driving "wrong".
* I always have the windows down if it's 45°F or higher. It helps me hear other cars around me and I feel too closed off if the windows are up.
* I almost never take the right on red. Usually I can't see well enough around the corner to feel comfortable. To prevent cars from honking at me, I don't put my right turn signal on until just before the light turns green.
* I avoid highways whenever possible. People always get annoyed if I'm giving them a ride somewhere and they think I'm going too slow. I'm just not comfortable going that fast yet.
* I don't attempt parallel parking in tight spots or high-traffic streets. I let people out and go park somewhere else that's easier, and they usually say that was stupid.
* I never look at my phone while driving, not even at red lights. I just use Google Maps audio directions and play music on it, but people get annoyed that I couldn't text them "I'm 10 minutes away" or something if I'm picking them up.
* When I'm on a busy road and I know I need an exit coming up on the left, I'll get into the far left lane and just sit there at the speed limit or a little over. I don't want the stress of having to change lanes right before the exit comes up.
What do you think? Am I the asshole for refusing to change what makes me comfortable, or are these all reasonable things? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
FqSk7taomOTj2Npe3MYfXMEzfIti1R5m | awydez | {
"description": "using tinder despite having a connection with someone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA to use tinder despite having a connection with someone? |
Hello Reddit, so I started messaging this girl in mid January. We met on tinder and quickly switched to snap. She’s great and I really like her. We’re from neighboring towns and the same age. Only thing is our schedules haven’t aligned , as we both went back to our separate colleges shortly after first messaging, and we’ve never met. We haven’t really been able to find a good time to first meet, but not for lack of trying.
Due to all of this I have no idea where we stand romantically, as we’re clearly both interested in something long term ( despite meeting on tinder) and talking a lot, but to say we’re together feels odd. Recently, I’ve thought of Re- downloading tinder( deleted it for the first time for other reasons) and talking to other girls until I’m able to meet the aforementioned girl in person.
Would talking to/ going out with other girls in the meantime make me an asshole ? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UEeN8y5zsJC9Iu4xz8cuHHHJzEhPQyXP | avmo8r | {
"description": "telling an ex co-workers wife he's on a dating website",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told an ex co-workers wife he's on a dating website? | Using a throwaway for obvious reasons. I have an ex-coworker (from 7 years ago) that we've remained "friend" on that social media platform that is used to keep in touch. I mainly use it to keep in touch with all my old Army buddies since we're scattered throughout the world now.
Anyway this previous co-worker has always had some issues with mental health. Not just depression or anxiety but some pretty severe PTSD as he's a former Military person himself and he's also been put on an extended hold for some pretty serious thoughts (violent thoughts towards himself and others). He's been abusive to both his ex-wife and current wife. He's also not allowed anywhere near his children from his ex-wife due to his abusiveness. Which in the state I'm in the judges always award 50/50 custody unless the other parent has been proven to be extremely abusive. Even then parents are given a chance to be rehabilitated to be able to keep joint custody. Parents that have serious drug addictions even get to keep custody of their kids. I'm only giving this background info to show how badly someone has to fuck up in my state to lose custody of their kids, it's rare.
He has been married to his current wife for about 6 years. As soon as he divorced the ex he immediately (in about a month) jumped into a relationship with the new wife. At our previous job he never asked me out. He did while he was going through his divorce and we no longer worked together. I politely declined and he seemed fine with it.
Fast forward to three months ago. He sent me a message on the dating website I'm on. I ignored it. Well last night he sent me another message and I asked him wtf he was even doing on a dating website since he's married. I got no response.
So would I be the asshole if I told his current wife he is on a dating website? I know they're still married and just two days ago posted on the social media site how she was the love of his life and blah blah blah. On the one hand I don't think it's my business and it would also piss him off. But on the other hand I'm not the one that's married and trying to date other women (his dating profile states he's divorced and looking for a LTR as well as quite a few made up things about himself).
I would just like some opinions on if I should say anything to his wife or not. If it was me, I would want to know. And maybe that would be the eye opener she needs to leave his abusive ass. Idk, I'm torn. So please help me out here Reddit! | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
OFZhmqjn7WnTuoJLKsOk846efxXQZDkv | au6b4g | {
"description": "going on a date",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going on a date? | Ok, I know how unassuming the title is, but I guess that's exactly what I'm asking. For privacy reasons, I'm going to change the names of everyone, including myself.
To introduce myself, I'll go by the name Allen. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I'm a bisexual trans guy.
So, the story all starts in the eighth grade. I'd gotten my first "girlfriend", who I'll call Molly. I say "girlfriend" because it wasn't an actual relationship; we'd held hands twice and went on only one date over a five month period. Nonetheless, at that point id considered it a real relationship and thought I was truly in love.
This portion of my life was probably the lowest I'd ever been. My mental health was at an all time bad and my coping mechanisms were much less than healthy. To make matters worse, Molly was very manipulative. She pretty much followed the textbook of gaslighting. I'd pushed away everyone in my life except Molly, and thank God I've now repaired most of those relationships by now, but things could have gone south quickly.
Overall, a real bad experience that I'm still slightly messed up over.
Earlier this year, my good friend who I'll call Sam asked me out. I said yes and I had a datemate. Pretty quickly, though, things went sour quickly. There were lots of parallels to the situation with Molly. Things were moving too fast and I quickly found myself on an emotionally sinking ship. I was spiralling back into a shitty state of mental health. I broke up with them after about a month because I figured I wasn't ready for a relationship.
Now, Sam is someone who I consider family. I love them dearly and would go to the ends of the Earth to make sure they were happy. Part of the reason I ended the relationship was also the fact that we are in a small club that I cherish deeply. I could attribute the people in it to saving my life on multiple occasions.
And that's where my problem lies.
Recently, I reconnected with an old friend who I'll refer to as Gwen. We hung out and hit it off quite quickly, and two days after out first hang out Gwen had asked me out. And I said yes.
Gwen is taking things much slower, as she knows my prior situations. We've got a first date planned, that's honestly more of a trial to see what the both of us are comfortable with.
And I feel like an asshole.
I'm fully aware Sam still has feelings for me, and I really don't want to hurt them. I care about them a lot, but I think I could really be happy with Gwen and I could make Gwen happy too. I don't intend on abandoning Sam, and they are still a big part of my chosen family.
So, Reddit, am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EbxCnITNTL1Gv0vLt6F4dQyeB1jP2paQ | akh7ey | {
"description": "not carpooling with a coworker on a ~4 hour work trip",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA - For not carpooling with a coworker on a ~4 hour work trip? | A coworker and I both have to go testify in a case, with the courthouse being around 4-5 hours of driving away depending on the traffic. My coworker said she isn't a good driver and doesn't like driving long distances, and said she would come along with me while I drive. Not only do I not particularly want to spend 4-5 hours in a car with her, but I also had plans on making the most of my trip and visiting the city and grabbing a few drinks without being responsible for someone else as well.
Yesterday when she first asked I kind of tried to laugh off her suggestion and said I'd think about it, even though I had pretty much made up my mind that I wanted to drive solo. Today I come into work to a piece of cake on my desk she had gotten with a "thank you for driving me" note, with a few others in the office laughing and thinking I'd apparently be thankful for her "gift." I again tried to laugh it off and thanked her for the cake but that I still wanted to go alone, and she got upset as she left work for the day. The other ladies in the office also seemed taken back and that I was being rude.
AITA here for not allowing her to carpool along with me? I wouldn't really want to drive her anyways, but the way she kind of just jumped in and tried to impose to grab a drive without asking me if I was okay with it, or if I had any other plans for the day, also made me want to say no. A few others at work think I am a jerk for not driving her, but I don't think there's anything wrong with my choice. What do y'all think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
59H2Py9gRNkp226BRcOBacHojSTKcpAN | b66anj | {
"description": "not considering this to be a sincere apology",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I didn’t consider this to be a sincere apology? | Hey guys, this will explain some context. I was talking to this guy for about a month when one day I explained to him that I was dealing with some depression and other social anxiety issues. No big deal as it really wasn’t his fault whatsoever that I was having difficulties communicating, but I didn’t find it to be fair to continue to talk to someone romantically if I knew it wouldn’t be a healthy dialogue the majority of the time.
After I sent my explanation over text (we hadn’t even had the opportunity to meet one another in person yet, but we live in the same city) he told me that I had “expressed the biggest, bullshit excuse” that he’s ever heard. I even apologized for our communication from the last month potentially being a waste of his time, though I didn’t fully consider or understand the effort and dedication that a relationship could take.
He said “that’s obviously an excuse, lmao bye Andrew 😂. Have a nice life,” and blocked my number. I honestly was confused but I just let it go and went about my studies since I’m in school and had other things to concern myself with. Well it’s been almost a week and he decided to unblock me and send this as an apology: https://imgur.com/a/3rxRASP
AITA if I don’t think it’s sincere? I’ve tried to understand what he’s written but it left me sort of confused, as it seemed like he was trying to write several excuses and explanations in his apology. I just feel like at the end of it he was making it seem like I had explaining to do when in reality I’ve already done it, which is why he blocked me in the first place. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
N6UhYGwT7xgHXDRA6hjDFFD0pwJfoBkF | airsmw | {
"description": "playing my electric guitar in the middle of the day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for playing my electric guitar in the middle of the day? | So i’m living in college dorms that don’t have the thickest walls, to be fair. However, when I play it in the middle of the day, at any volumes pretty much (except for approaching and at full blast which I don’t do), my only next door neighbors bang on the wall. Right now it’s 4:00 in the afternoon and I am playing at a moderate level. I also try not to play as it gets close to quiet hours, but again whenever I do play I get some banging on the wall. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
kN9L0IYlJj55OzYiWD6szSbOtAmHlZaV | afb6fm | {
"description": "telling a friend of for constantly reminding me that I'm not in shape",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a friend of for constantly reminding me that i'm not in shape | Context: I don't have too many friends at my office and it's not because i'm not friendly ,it's just that most of the buddies i had ,have switched to other companies over the past few months. Of the few i still have, two are particularly close, one guy and girl. They are pretty helpful for the most part and we hangout frequently. The girl, let's call her Katy, has a vicious side to her where she often makes fun of me for being slightly chubby(BTW i'm a guy ).
I have always let this slide and taken it on the chin, but i can't help noticing Katy isn't a perfect size 0 either. I'm not condoning unhealthy body types, too fat or too thin and i agree i should get into better shape. However it's gotten to the point that Katy points this out at every opportunity she gets.
Yesterday another friend of ours, Kevin ,mentioned that there was a free for all marathon next week and asked if we would like to join in . Katy joked about how i should join first so i would burn up some of the fat I've got "stored in my cheeks". It bummed me out. The worst part of this.. she laughs this off and never ever apologizes.
At this point,i should mention, I've known Katy for a couple of years and she has been a great friend for most of that period. It's just that i feel i should give her the taste of her own medicine by letting her know that she's not in shape either and maybe i'm not the only one that should be hitting the gym. Another part of me thinks that this would be a cheap-shot.
TL;DR: Female Colleague keeps poking fun at my weight while being on the healthier side herself | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
r9E3V9BlvyGd1s8FkqXyI5UZT8tUEz4h | ai5d91 | {
"description": "missing my friend's bachelorette party for a work trip",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for missing my friend’s bachelorette party for a work trip? | I’ll keep it short.
This weekend was a close friend’s bachelorette party. The party was in Nashville, and we live in Chicago.
The dates of the party were this past Friday through tomorrow, Monday.
I was invited several months ago and declined because I have a work trip to London. I’m leaving tomorrow, Monday, and will be there for a week.
So, now the bachelorette party is happening and I kept replying to peoples’ IG stories saying things like, “Wish I was there!” Wasn’t getting any replies which was weird, I’m friends with everyone there.
So all of a sudden I realize the bride’s stories disappeared. I thought this was some IG glitch, then I realized my sister could see the stories...aka, she blocked me!
I think she thinks I LIED about having a work trip!?! Or thinks I should’ve come for the weekend and then flown to London from Nashville...? I’m not really sure, but this seems like some Bridezilla shit.
Our one friend FINALLY replied to my (clearly in Chicago) stories being like, “I thought you were out of town...” leading me to believe everyone thinks I lied about having a trip.
Just gut checking here that I’m not the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
pdH8ozgJOpEDksDci6oZxJjSEkbPaitE | aolylx | {
"description": "explaining how our sex drought is affecting ny self esteem",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for explaining how our sex drought is affecting ny self esteem? | Normal account here - usually just lurk but I wanted to ask an honest question here because I really feel like the asshole.
So me, and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for about 18 months at this stage.
Sex life started out great - fantastic in fact. And we definitely both love each other an endless amount.
We've both been very open with each other, and recently our sex life has been in a bit of a lull, I've always been the one to initiate it, but that's just standard I think really, barring the odd occasion.
Recently; after another time of attempted initiation, I went a touch quiet. She asked me what was wrong and I explained about whilst the sex itself wasn't the issue, it was affecting my self esteem a little, more to the fact of the rejection. I explicitly explained about it not being anything she's done wrong, and I love her to the world and back, and now I feel as if I've been a complete asshat.
We've had conversations about it, and she's explained it is due to her own self image, and I understand, and I support her everyday; I wouldn't change her for the world, but AITA for feeling insecure about this? Its not even that I just "want sex" or even the physical activity thereof, I just feel my own self worth plummet each time.
Thank you, and please help! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pntAUtpoW40UBWY7MxyuaZjVB3r0G69K | b17gon | {
"description": "telling my friend to stop making fun of me in front of the class for turning red",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend to stop making fun of me in front of the class for turning red? | Hello everyone! This is my first post ever in this subreddit so I apologize in advance if I break any rules! I also apologize for my grammar as its not my first language.
My face is a little bit sensitive and so when it's hot in classes, my face turns red extremely quickly. I sadly cannot control it and thus it goes open in front of my whole face.
We have 4 seat tables that are all around the classes and we can pick freely on where we sit, so I, of course, sit with my friends. Whenever the teacher talks or roasts me (we have a really funny history teacher, he's great!) I turn red quickly and my friends are of course one that notices it and I have this friend we'll call M. He quickly says "OMG He's turning red!" And the whole class notices. And this is not first time no, this is almost happening 3 times a week. He gets shocked every time I turn red and it really annoys me.
After all the weeks of him constantly getting shock fact, I turn red. I message M to stop it, respect the way I am and to just ignore the fact I even have it. He told me to calm down and that it's a joke. I tell him its not a joke when you are repeating it and you're just disrespecting way I am. He then says we'll talk tomorrow and then if ignored all my messages which basically, I said that this is last time we're talking about it and to just stop when someone tells you to stop.
So am I overreacting? Am I in rights for telling him to stop? Share your opinions on this subject. Thank you lots!
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FQCIlTM6Ozt2vdwb8WWIj7yQrOoIcMuI | asfhl8 | {
"description": "getting mad at my bf because he keeps putting intimate time off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at my bf because he keeps putting intimate time off. | My boyfriend and I usually have to schedule sex into our schedules. We don’t live together and work quite a bit. Lately he’s been giving me a day as to when we can have sex and then come that day he will tell me no and say he’s tired and wants to sleep. I get he works a lot but this has been the third day in a row he’s done this to me and I’m starting to take it personal. I know it’s dumb but I feel like shit. Am I the asshole for telling him how I feel and how this is frustrating me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
p6tskxyI0UTrpwXOhY8c6zyrPYRapw1r | b7555x | {
"description": "thinking I shouldn't have to pay for my own skincare products",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for thinking I shouldn’t have to pay for my own skincare products? | So I (F14) have acne. I use 2-3 products on my face that are from Walmart so they’re fairly cheap. If I want to try a face mask or something from lush that’s a bit pricey I’ll pay for it on my own but for my everyday products I ask my parents to buy them. My dad is fine with getting them as long as I give him the empty bottle but my mom feels like I should pay for my own products. I feel that since I can’t control the fact that I have acne I shouldn’t have to pay for it.
So AITA for not wanting to pay for my skincare products? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
DWWBfiG9m0w890rAbTXRoQvnpwhAiNku | aw9fj4 | null | AITA - Indecisive Fiance | So every time my fiance wants to go somewhere to eat or do something, and I say "I'm good", he decides he no longer wants to go or no longer wants to eat.
I then feel bad for not just going along anyways as that wasn't my intent. It typically turns into a fight as I then feel bad for not being crappy, I just don't want to take part.
I don't mean to snap but at some point the sad pup routine over something seemingly so inconsequential (I go out places without him and I don't make him feel bad) just gets my temper.
Am I the asshole??
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Upf2mVkjht8ywzFKOEEbYBksHAqlRaID | b80o74 | {
"description": "changing my neighbors internet password",
"pronormative_score": 79,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I changed my neighbors internet password? | Hello fellow asshole enthusiasts. I live in a small apartment building. Above my husband and I lives a single mom. Earlier this year we had the internet installed and set up a second wifi connection for our neighbor on the condition that she pays us $40/month. She approached us with the offer and the amount and my husband and I agreed.
At first everything was fine and dandy and she paid when she was supposed to, then she was a bit late then only paid " half now half later" and then just stopped paying altogether. It's not like she is hurting for money, we see her come home with bags of stuff from the store on at least a weekly basis, got a new car this year etc. When I see her outside she doesn't mention anything like " oh yeah I owe you I forgot, I will get your money now". I don't feel like I should have to chase her down to get the money she owes us.
My husband and I make a decent amount of money and we easily can afford and have been paying the bill ourselves, we don't NEED the money ( it's not going to make or break us every month) but we are saving for a mortgage and have two children of our own.
WIBTA if I changed her wifi password so she can not connect until she pays us what she owes ? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 79,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 79,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
1K5HYc5H5XBYrLfd7FE2kCYAgRJU0utO | akqod1 | null | AITA for not visitng my family? | Me and my dad have never gotten along. I'm at Uni and this year it was agreed that I would stay with my parents to save money, helping them out with chores, babysitting my siblings and buying essentials when they needed it, I also give them money when they're strapped for cash.
This September just gone my Mum was at work and my Dad was yelling and getting in my pregnant sisters (19) face, being aggressive over her not pulling up a calculator on her phone fast enough. I could see his temper flaring and he was tensing.
He went to go punch her but I stood in the way, he started getting in my face and shoving me. After me yelling at him not to touch a mid-term pregnant girl he grabbed my PlayStation which was in the living room and smashed it then grabbed me by my throat, pinned me against a wall and started punching me in the head about 6 times he then grabbed me by my hair and dragged me across the floor whilst throwing things at me and calling me a slut, a whore etc.
Cops were called and he was removed but because he's on so much medication he got let off and I had to leave the house so I moved out into Uni accomodation.
My sister gave birth and I have a Nephew but I don't want to go to the house since my dad insists he did nothing wrong and is smug because he got let off. My mum and brothers and sisters are on my case that I should forgive him and that I'm being selfish but I refuse since that's not how you should treat your kid.
Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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uZ72fUZwq5yvYmh7mCx6lEieO35iL7tM | a1hjeq | {
"description": "lying to my mother continuously for the past 6 years",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for lying to my mother continuously for the past 6 years? | Using a throwaway for obvious reasons as this is a very personal story, I don’t worry someone accidentally finding it as I am the only English speaking person in my immediate “family”.
Also sorry for the huge wall of text.
To give you the much needed context, this has started about 6 years ago and it is still ongoing.
My parents have gotten divorced when I was 12 but it didn’t really affect me that much. My father is a great guy and he has always supported me in every single way, the same goes for my mother.
Now the thing about my mother is that she really couldn’t get over it, and still hasn’t. She got this amazing idea of having me emotionally blackmailing my father and coercing him into returning back home.
She started telling me to tell him things like “Can you please return home for me? I want my family back yada-yada-yada...” and I actually did for a while. She managed to convince my 12 year old self to do her bidding on the account of having “a common goal of restoring our beautiful family”. This bullshit was pretty heavy from an emotional standpoint for a kid. And to make matters worse, I had to do this pretty much everytime I had a chance to see my father then come back home and recite every single word and gesture uttered by him to my mother.
If I ever missed out some part of the monologue I remembered by heart my mom would FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Starting to cry and tell me how I don’t love her enough or I don’t want my family back. It made me feel like shit every single time and I would call him or something just to fill in any sentances I might have missed while she would listen to the phone call on speaker. At some point she figured that it would be better if I would always call him at midnight, talking to him on the speaker while she rubs written papers with the dialogue I had to recite in my face all while analysing the responses and writing more appropriate shit for me to say.
I got fed up. I was just a kid and at about 13 I told her that I wouldn’t talk to him anymore about any of this and that there are no chances of him ever returning.
As you may have guessed by now, she did NOT take that well. I’ve heard it all, “You don’t love me enough to help me rebuild this family, you don’t care about us, I’ve done everything for you and I love you please do this for me...”. I told her that I am sorry but no. The shitshow continued for about 3 days. I couldn’t take it any longer and this is when I first started lying. I would just come home after spending time with my dad and telling her how he told me he would come home eventually. I belive it was at this time that I completely stopped caring about anything she said, I was just so fed up that every since then her screaming and tears have absolutely no effect on me. So I just started lying because telling her the truth wasn’t an option and I was actually afraid that she would do some stupid shit if I did so.
This has been possible because my mother doesn’t talk to my father, AT ALL. I am the messenger that gets any message across so she can’t check anything to see if I am indeed telling the truth. I am now 18 years old and I have been doing this every since the day they have divorced. At the moment my father is aware of the situation and he had tried to tell her he’s not coming back but everything that did was making my life miserable for a month or so until I got my mom back in a comfortable web of lies and false hope. So we pretty much agreed that I would just tell her “Oh he didn’t really say anything when I told him to come back home today” in order to stop lying so much and maybe keep her in a barely stable area.
Looking back I wish I had aggressively refused to help her at the very start, but I was just a kid, she manipulated me and made me feel like shit if I didn’t cooperate. Every day I have lied, it became a little harder for me to tell her the truth, so I never did.
My mother doesn’t have any close friends and never leaves the house except when going to work.
My father currently has a girlfriend and plenty of friends. Of course my mother doesn’t know of my father’s girlfriend and there is simply noone to tell her.
So AITA for building a huge web of lies in order to give my mother false hope and make my life more bearable?
| HISTORICAL | {
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YSagfQ4YFHgv0wAxQbaVqmbKDW0FjVgT | b13xjw | {
"description": "ending a good relationship although my GF did nothing wrong",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for Ending a Good Relationship Although My GF Did Nothing Wrong? | I broke up with my gf of nearly 3 years last month and I'm still struggling with feelings of guilt and sadness for hurting her. We're both in our early 30s and she was an amazing partner. We made plenty of good memories and rarely had any disagreements, but I felt my attraction to her slowly fade (she wasn't my type from the beginning but I liked her well enough and we grew on each other).
I keep telling myself that I made the right decision by just ending it rather than dragging it out, but she was really blindsided and when we spoke the other day she said that she's still struggling to process things. I've never felt this bad about a breakup, even when I was the one getting dumped. Every time we talk I feel worse and worse, but I don't have the heart to tell her that we should give each other more space.
Am I the asshole for breaking up with her? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HoGwxfzZTkYpyZftcXcpzskZlj1eG7fm | ah0agx | {
"description": "asking GF to unfollow a guy on Ig who she had an incident with",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking GF to unfollow a guy on Ig who she had an incident with . | Hey guys I was wondering if AITA , my girlfriend had an 'incident' where she for fun danced with a guy friend she barely talks to or know and the guy bent her down and grinned with her for like 10 seconds , she was drunk at the club and did not know what was happening and she soon as she realized what happens she she forced his hands away and walked away.This happened back in October but today i found out that she was still following him on Instagram and told me about his posts and how he's so fake. I got really weirded out and asked her why she still follows him , she told me that it was not a big deal and how it was kind of her fault as well .Being a guy who had that happen to his girlfriend to find out she still follows him? She acted like I am making a big deal about her following this guy. Any advice would be helpful. She has now unfollowed him but at my request, is that not something I shouldn't have to ask for? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
SdqTrZIp95ohLzJZD8pyb2gaN9Ha0x60 | agsg79 | {
"description": "being upset that my best friend's boyfriend read our private messages",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset that my best friend's boyfriend read our private messages? | So my friends and I have two different group chats. One with more people, including my best friend's boyfriend, and one with just me, my best friend and two other people I'm close to. I wanted to share something a bit more personal so I told them to check the more private group. My best friend's boyfriend then logged onto her account to spy and see what was being said in the group he wasn't apart of. I feel like it's a huge invasion of my privacy. I went to the more private group specifically because I didn't want to share something personal with people I wasn't close with. He knew this and purposely logged onto her account. It's not like he came across it on accident. He didn't even hide the fact that it was him. When I said hello to (who I thought was) her, he straight up said that it was him. I then brought it up to my best friend, saying it made me uncomfortable and that I think it's wrong. She told me to talk to her boyfriend about it, said it wasn't her problem and left the group. So now she's pissed at me. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
bR6pxrSjQ36gZsdLjypSMrqdblWsM1lJ | akie3r | {
"description": "breaking up with a girl because she belittled a religious person",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for breaking up with a girl because she belittled a religious person? | I am an agnostic but i have some respect for how religion can help people in bad states. My girlfriend and I were walking a Christian preacher who was protesting abortion (I am pro choice but I don’t think pro life people should be belittled). My girlfriend started calling him all sorts of horrible names like “virgin” and “freak” really hateful vile stuff. For me that was the final straw. I waited till she went to work the next day then had the locks changed and put her stuff outside with a note telling her I don’t want to be with someone who treats others in the way she treated that guy. I have blocked her calls and email. I appreciate I was being a bit cold but I have lost all respect I ever had for her. I am sad to see that she is a bigot and I’ll have no truck with that | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
bd8l4k0M8bpFd2prpu6BQPN42QD6Fv9o | a2eztj | {
"description": "saying no to changing gifts",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I said no to changing gifts? | WIBTA for not wanting to exchange gifts?
So, my classmate recently asked me if I wanted to exchange gifts in our small group of friends between eachother. I would say yes right away, but that would mean, that I will have to spend money and buy gifts for 4+ people, out of which I only really know 3. Also, my classmates aren't that creative and, honestly speaking, their gifts are not that great. It's basically a bar of chocolate + something small. (I can't even eat chocolate, so it would be useless to me).
Whenever I give gifts, I go for creativity and making the gift as personal as I can (many inside jokes, favorite stuff, anecdotes, etc.). I just don't want to stress myself out, knowing, that I wouldn't get anything good in return.
Now, it wouldn't be a problem if I didn't knew these classmates that well, but we have known eachother for 6 years now but our relationship is weird. We are only friends in school, but outside school we barely talk or text eachother.
Should I suck it up and buy random cheap gifts or just straigt up say no? Will I seem like an asshole?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nOapsRTaDXD7PnIezgJn2CXhBpl6fElP | b7mrdp | {
"description": "not changing the movie that I chose for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 135,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not changing the movie that I chose for my birthday. | so this happened a while ago and I'm curious if I was the asshole.
It was just before my 20th birthday and I decided I wanted to see a movie as my birthday party/gift to myself, I discovered that How to Train Your Dragon 3 was out so I thought id go see it.
I posted on the group chat the date and time of the movie and asked if anybody wanted to join me for a birthday movie. I said its completely optional if you want to join me.
most of the group agreed and I was happy.
That was until one of them said why don't we pick a different movie, I replied saying that it was my birthday and it's the movie I picked, we could see another movie on another day if you want, but I really want to see How to Train Your Dragon.
After realising they wouldn't change my mind they told me they weren't coming and stopped talking in the group chat.
I'm now unsure if I should have changed the movie or not.
AITA?
and just incase anyone asks, I like how to train your dragon because it's a good movie. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 135,
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} | RIGHT |
oXjQ7P5H4DRdcOeW53djFg5K4TznRyzZ | 9vnfpk | {
"description": "making a fuzz in order to speak to ceo after my manager gave a misleading performance review",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a fuzz in order to speak to CEO after my manager gave a misleading performance review? | I quit my job Wednesday after having had numerous conflicts with my manager.
However I continue to press for a meeting with the CEO to tell my story. Yet my manager is blocking me in several ways since he was to silence me to protect his own position.
I work in sales and the core part of me quitting is that I received a performance review that concluded I needed to improve. Yet the review was based on wrong reading of the data.
Example:
Sales Person A
Received 100 leads
Opened 10 opportunities
Closed 2 deals
Win Rate 20%
Sales Person B
Received 100 leads
Opened 20 opportunities
Closed 3 deals
Win Rate 15%
My manager looked ONLY at the win rate and concluded that I needed to one relative to my team. But from this example it is clear that looking only at win rate is not the entire picture.
I have now left the company and my manger is blocking my access to emails documenting this poor review. My only choice now is to make noise in the company in order to get attention from the CEO and tell my story.
Am I an asshole? I feel wrong in accepting this bad performance review and getting justice. | HISTORICAL | {
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WRHEgr2uxmDSvv1K0tER7aqWde6sX2DE | a0c0u8 | {
"description": "following this sub just to call people assholes",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for following this sub just to call people assholes? | Sorry for the half-meta post; I've been doing a lot of self reflection recently pending some career changes, and I wanted to get some opinions. I showed this sub to one of my coworkers and he's all about it, but another one of his friends thinks it's "childish" and "actually asshole behavior." Granted, that's not all I do on this sub (I haven't called anyone an asshole even), I mainly just look at other people's judgement.
​
What do you guys think? Are we assholes?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
T9CEuyQAOHIcZEL5gq2Fi0eEKoL0yx47 | ay3kkc | {
"description": "not wanting wife's cum stained prom dress in my house",
"pronormative_score": 189,
"contranormative_score": 33
} | AITA for not wanting wife’s cum stained prom dress in my house? | My wife and I met in college, we are 41. I’m not jealous about her past partners. She has had her old prom dress hanging in the back of her closet forever. I’ve never given it any thought. Until, two weekends ago, my wife’s friend came over and they were in the kitchen which is open to the living room where I was, talking about taking the friends daught shopping for a prom dress. My wife says “I still have my prom dress, let me get it and show it to you.” She returned with the dress and she showed it to her friend and her friend made a comment “oh, no, it has spots on it” and my wife says “oh, yeah, my date wade a mess! I should have taken off before we did it.” The friend says “ew!” And my wife laughs and they keep talking about shopping etc. Later after the friend leaves I am in the bedroom, and my wife comes in with the dress, and holds it up in front of her in front of the mirror and says “I loved this dress, I wish you could have taken me to prom we could have got dirty in the limo”. I said “hey, I don’t feel comfortable with another guy’s cumstains in your closet on that dress, have it dry cleaned” she said “what! You never cared before! I have good memories of that night, this is just memories, don’t be jealous, I won’t have it cleaned.” I said “I don’t care that you had sex with other guys, I don’t care that this guy came on the back of your dress, I don’t want another guy’s cum stains in my house, get it cleaned.” She said “no, you’re overreacting!”
It’s been awkward ever since. It’s still in her closet. I brought it up again yesterday while she was in her closet “are you going to get that dress cleaned?” She said “I don’t think so, don’t be jealous”. I have talked with her since.
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 177,
"EVERYBODY": 20,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 189,
"WRONG": 33
} | RIGHT |
3Y4mP9mZNTcaRCCFR5avIvNjQwUkY7Us | avfsdf | {
"description": "not participating in nephew's fundraiser",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not participating in nephew's fundraiser? | I am a divorced mom, with one child. I recently told my sister that my child support had been drastically reduced because my ex-husband lost his job (only has to pay if he is employed). Told her a few of my travails regarding this, including perhaps needing to sell my car, cut costs everywhere I can, selling a few things on Craigslist to raise a little cash.
The other day she sent a text to all the siblings and said she was "shamelessly shilling" in trying to raise money to "defray costs" for a school trip for her son next year (my nephew). My sister and her husband both make 6 figures, btw. The fundraiser is to pay $7 for a ticket to a breakfast...which I would not go to because it's in another state halfway across the country from where I live. Her "offer" is that if we buy tickets, she'll eat "a piece of bacon" for us if we buy "1 or 2" tickets.
On the face of it $7 is not that much. But I am mildly annoyed that she even asked. I don't want to buy even one ticket, let alone two.
AITA??? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
NxYvB2qtv9ngmqLYc43pjVQvw5xtH9O7 | a3v7b0 | {
"description": "being a dick to a pyramid scheme recruiter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being a dick to a pyramid scheme recruiter? | * She called me at 7pm. Makes me go through a whole phone interview on the spot.
* She claims to be from Company A. Sends me a text claiming to be from Company B.
* Company B is a pyramid scheme.
* I ask her a question about the company and if it's a pyramid scheme and she gets referrals. She tells me that Google isn't a trusted source and I should check Forbes (Forbs?)
* Forbs calls them an MLM.
I angrily text the lady back that I don't want to waste her time or mine and I'm not going.
Dick or not? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oOihyrf9KAaIC13qnzhkSwJfx1Z90UTs | 9wnc2p | {
"description": "not wanting the surprise \"wedding\" that my mother in law planned for me",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting the surprise “wedding” that my mother in law planned for me? | For some backstory, I have a different perspective on marriage and what I think it’s supposed to be about. I’m 28f and got married to my husband (31) about a year ago, and we both agreed it would be more meaningful if we were alone, so that’s what we did. We took our kids to celebrate for dinner the night before. My brother got a temporary ordainment and married my husband and I on a beautiful beach and took pictures, it was perfect and all i ever wanted/needed- I’m simple, I hate the idea of a huge wedding with tons of people, tons of money spent, ridiculous dresses, all of it. I can’t stand it honestly, it takes away from it all and in the end seems more of a fake projection to me. I have extreme anxiety issues and it’s hard for me to go to ANY party which I don’t know if many people understand. It sucks feeling that way so what usually happens is I get wasted and do something ridiculous. Last Christmas, my mother in law went on a long rant about how upset she was that we didn’t want a wedding. I explained that I understand and that I was sorry, but I’m anxious and that I feel like a big wedding would more or less take away the most important part of getting married to me- sharing our own special bond. She doesn’t work and my father in law is an engineer, but they struggle because she has insane spending habits and is constantly throwing ravish parties and buying furniture that they can’t afford.
So to the actual party, my husband told me we were going to an anniversary party for his parents. We both have kids from previous relationships; I have one daughter and he has two and they were all originally going to come, but my daughter (who is 7) did not want to go, so figuring there would be a bunch of drunk people at their anniversary party I told her she could spend the night at her dads house and it was ok, I wasn’t going to force her. My husband said NOTHING to me to hint that I should take her.
We go to the party and I walk in, immediately swarmed by people clapping and saying “surprise!” I noticed my own mother walking up to me with her phone, recording me and it clicked what was actually happening. I wanted to die. I wanted to crawl away and cry and I was speechless. I was in front of a room of about 150 people, mostly his family and a scattered amount of mine. I went around and started hugging people and my mother asked where my daughter was. I immediately texted her dad and told him the situation, he said she still didn’t want to go so I told him to please try to get her to.
My immediate family was there but so was an estranged cousin that I want nothing to do with. We had a rocky past and I was good with never seeing her again (she spread rumors about me, is a hairdresser and cut my daughters hair for her first haircut without bothering to ask me, etc.) My daughter wasn’t really thought of, no one thought to make sure she would go and my husband didn’t even think to tell me at least so I could bring her. I think he was afraid of my reaction because him and his mother knew I didn’t want this and knew my reasons for it. My husband is agreeable and is the same as me, hates parties and knows his father can’t afford anything like that, but his mother told him a week before and that “they could cancel but they already spent a ton of money.” I was asked all night by my whole family why she wasn’t there. His ENTIRE family was there and a few of his friends- none of mine were invited. His mother had set our seats to be with his brother and sister at a table- neither of my brothers (I didn’t sit there, I saw at my family’s table.) She wanted us to a dance to some country song SHE picked, I don’t like country, so I asked for something by Jim Croce- the dance didn’t end up happening. She had my husbands brother do a speech that SHE wrote. The whole night she told me how much she had to spend and how she had to tip everyone and their mother. Then at the end of the night, I was surrounded by two of his cousins girlfriends and some inbred looking lady from his side, all making remarks about what I was wearing (all black) and how drunk I was.
I feel seriously depressed that in all of these pictures, my daughter wasn’t there. She’s the most important part of me and now these pictures of our “wedding” are out there forever with her missing. I don’t want her to wonder why she wasn’t there. I also would have prepared more and gotten ready/worn something not all black and fixed my appearance up. I would have invited my friends and people I’m close to at work. I almost wish I had done it myself because it’s not like I can do it again...
This “wedding” was more for my mother in law in my eyes. I feel like an ungrateful jerk but am I really? I know it was a lot of effort and money but with all the things I would’ve had if I had really wanted to do my own damn wedding, I feel cheated. I’m thinking about texting her and telling her that I’m upset but don’t know if this is a bad idea. Am I an asshole or should I let this lady know what’s up? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VjKnMkcuPOh4qJQ50S6EZ6NffgwU0LAv | a3pzg6 | {
"description": "telling my friend she might not make it into UCLA and she should have a back up plan",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend she might not make it into UCLA and she should have a back up plan? | I want to try to keep this as short as possible but her I go. I have been friends with this girl for a long time and she is actually who I consider to be my best friend. We will call her Jane. Jane is great except, in my opinion she hasn’t experienced the real word. We’re both the same age and I left home at 18. She’s 25 and still lives with her parents and has never had a job. She is someone who cares a lot about what people think to say in the simplest way. All she writes on FB is about how she wants to go to UCLA. I feel it’s to impress people. At the end of the day Jane has mediocre grades. UCLA has a 17% acceptance rate. We both want to go into the same field. Physician assistant. I could be wrong so please correct me but in her situation I just don’t think she needs to care so much about going to a prestigious school. And if she doesn’t get accepted I don’t want to see her get upset. She has absolutely no intention of “seeking out other options” because she’s determined to go to this particular school. I’m in the process of applying to 10 different schools! How do you only pick one? Any way we were talking about it and I was telling her there’s so many more options and that having a backup plan could really help if shit hits the fan. Maybe she took it as me doubting her but she abruptly just hung up on me. Jane is very smart but I know the world we came from. To be honest maybe I am doubting her. UCLA is a hard school to get into and just having good grades isn’t a guaranteed entree. What do you guys think ? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
4Gqdybt0EbmmaiXHw8288oQiw7KJF2bm | ar20dx | {
"description": "talking about my roommate for invasion of privacy",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for talking about my roommate for invasion of privacy | So I went to Santa Monica with a bunch of college friends who my roommate (someone I've only known for 2 weeks) knows, I do a lot of photography work myself. I happened to have snapped a shot of a girl half naked. When I get back to my dorm, my roommate picks up my camera without even asking me, just goes through my photos. I was shocked at first, then I say, "I can't let you see past IMG 250", he gets upset and says "why?", I respond with "there's photos I can't let you see (in particular to protect the privacy of the half naked girl), he replies, "I thought we were friends". This makes me feel bad because it makes me feel like I don't trust him. I say "hey, at least I don't go through people's camera's without asking". I got frustrated.
Now, come last night we went to a party together, I brought my camera out and took photos, I leave early to go to bed. My camera is placed on my desk. Come next morning he says, "hey the photos you took were pretty good", I'm confused, thinking... How did you see my photos? I say "how did you see them?", he says "I looked through your camera while you were asleep". I'm straight up like WTF! (to myself), that's literally not cool. I say, "have you heard of privacy?", he smirked. Wtf?! I genuinely don't feel comfortable with my information. Do I actually have to take my photos off the card before I go to sleep? What if he goes through them and confronts me about my photos being missing. I don't feel like that's necessary. Now the best option is to say, "can you please not go throigh my photos while I'm asleep", but knowing him, he'd say "why, I was there too, why can't I see ". I don't want to publish and show everyone my photos that I took. And also, within the Santa Monica photos, I had some personal shots, like, my home, family, etc.
It's like I'm fathering this kid. It's really frustrating because he sleeps right next to me in my room and I feel like my privacy is literally exposed 24/7
I discussed this with our mutual friend and feel annoyed that I talked shit about him, because I don't like it when others talk about me. But I just had to. It's like a voilation of trust being roommates. 😡
So what now? What's a polite yet not dick move to say, don't go through my photos. | HISTORICAL | {
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wYnGigk0t3lDxxLKpAgnE9SqgqHeOUV2 | b789n1 | {
"description": "telling my husband I cant stay at his friends house anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if i tell my husband i cant stay at his friends house anymore? | When my husband and I go to visit his hometown, we usually stay at his friends house. His friend has 3 cats, and I'm very allergic to cats and every time I stay at their house I feel like shit. I cough, wheeze, sneeze, my eyes and nose are itchy, it's hard to breathe and my nose is stuffy. It's not pleasant and I find a hard time enjoying myself when I'm there as a result.
I try to take allergy medication; today for example I took a 12 hour claratin and then a while later when it didn't help I took a 24 hour claratin - but still nothing. I even went and sat in my car for ~45 minutes, which helped a little, but a few minutes after I went back inside everything got worse again. I've stayed at their place several times now, and this consistently happens every time I'm there.
So, WIBTA if I tell my husband that I can't stay with his friends anymore when we go to visit his family? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pPP6e2L3iAXrhT1q4VqoLUlH7dTohLoP | as48ms | {
"description": "blackmailing a Police Officer then getting him fired",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Blackmailing a Police Officer Then Getting Him Fired? | I was speeding on the highway, going 100 in a 50 (bad i know). A police officer catches me and pulls me over. I know I'm absolutely fucked so i was panicking and after i pulled over i positioned my phone in the car and started recording. The officer comes up and starts absolutely yelling at me and cussing me out like a complete asshole (even though it was justified since i was endangering everyone). And he tells me that I'm going to spend multiple years in jail, then takes my license and goes back to his car to run it through. At this point im so fucking scared, and im just breathing heavy while I wait. He says he has me on his radar gun at 10-something. Then something ive never experienced happens: he says "son youre gonna go to jail, so i'm gonna give you a break, you got cash on you?" I told him I did as I just cashed my paycheck. He said "alright give me 300 and we'll just go our separate ways." At this point i was relieved that i wasnt going to jail but also pissed off he wanted to take a bribe, and he was also kind of blackmailing me. So I took my phone, quickly stopped recording then sent the video to my friend and i told him "Sir I was recording this whole stop, (I start playing him video) I sent the video already to a friend and it clearly shows you trying to blackmail and take cash to let me off, and I'm gonna show this video to your boss and get you fired, or we can just 'go our separate ways' (i said that last part mockingly like he did. He was just extremely confused, embarrassed and angry. He didn't say anything, he just went back to his car, and drove off. I sat there for a few minutes with my heart pounding at 200mph while i just calmed down. I was shook to say the least, and to be honest I dont know why I did this, but I went to the police station and filed a report of him trying to blackmail/bribe me, and I knew i turned the camera off before i blackmailed him. Well fast forward to now, he got fired, and i feel like i may be the asshole, so reddit, AMTA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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kQRytIcFLNQ9gWCvkx3E3fSPq97nOEb8 | as523c | {
"description": "someone not following every other car in traffic cut me off I flipped on high beams",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA- after someone not following every other car in traffic cut me off I flipped on high beams | They tried short stopping and slowing down to make me stop, but it was really just confirmation that message was recieved.
How hard is the zipper merge? We are doomed as a society if we can't get this | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
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"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
0eweAFPZwjEnu6byE8gM6QWkGpSP8Klh | abbyby | {
"description": "cheering the road team at my local hockey team's arena",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for cheering the road team at my local hockey team’s arena (and booing the home team)? | AITA - Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/goldenknights/comments/ab81ai/opinion_kicked_out_of_vgkcoyotes_game_last_night/?st=JQCV4M3N&sh=ac8d89cd
TL:DR - got kicked out of my section at a hockey game yesterday by a power hungry usher for being “too loud and annoying”, security laughed at him and his manager chewed him out, tried to generate discussion in original thread but feeling some anger directed at me instead
I was directed to this sub by a commenter in the original post. I guess I can’t provide full context unless you’ve been at a live sporting event AND have a devout passion for one of the teams playing, but this is Reddit, so everyone is allowed to have an opinion. 😂 And this rabbit hole is fun for me, I want to see how far this goes!
My questions:
1) I went to school in Philadelphia, so East Coast sports fans are “more passionate” or “assholes” depending on your view. Does this play into how you should act at a sporting event? I’ve never gotten yelled at before, why now?
2) I am naturally a loud person, despite having to act professional and be quieter in most environments, including work. It is rare that I get to cheer overly loud for my team. Should I just stay home from now on?
3) My wife tells me to tone it down all the time, but has never done so at a live game. And I’m lucky she’s still with me, haha. Is there a range of tolerance levels/“fandom” that I’m not aware of?
So have at it Reddit!! Am I the asshole here?!? (humor and sarcasm fully endorsed!) | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
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OITPMUM14hEuxezhOdR6suwjYADgaBTb | 9wp1y2 | {
"description": "breaking up with someone because they told me they have felonies",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I broke up with someone because they told me they have felonies. | Recently I reconnected with someone I dated 4 years ago. In that time they moved to a different state and recently moved back. Weve been on several dates over the last 2 months or so and things are going really well. On our last date she told me she hads felonies for drugs and possession of a stolen car ( shes clean now) but she will be on felony probation until 2021. At the time I was okay with it because like I said shes clean now but the more i think about it the more I change my mind. She cant go to any state with any kind of marijuanna legislation ( almost half the states) or go to the state she was convicted it which is the state my mom lives in. Because of her probation she cant go to nearly all bordering states. I really like this woman but the more I think about it the more I realize id have to give up alot of freedoms. Would I be the asshole if I broke up with her for the sole reason of her being on felony parole. This is literally the only reason I have for not wanting to see her romantically. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
OBPeAbUOwaOyNnksI2QC9l6YoiYfQplh | b7hq06 | {
"description": "wanting to take my fiancé's last name",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to take my fiancé’s last name? | AITA for wanting to have the same last name as my fiancé? We have discussed marriage thousands of times before he proposed and I just automatically assumed that we were on the same page about sharing the same last name. He is very traditional in many ways such as wanting to get married in a church but when I mentioned the fact that I cannot wait to be Mrs. (last name), he went all weird and silent. I asked him why he went silent and he just said that he doesn’t see the big deal of accepting his last name. It really isn’t an offensive last name and to be honest, if we have kids, I’d prefer we all had the same last name. We both came from families where the mothers took our fathers last names, so what’s the big deal? I guess it just really bummed me out and now I’m reconsidering getting married to him because I had honestly thought we were in the same page. Maybe I’m overreacting? So, does this make me the asshole for wanting to share last names? | HISTORICAL | {
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"NOBODY": 10,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PR8DAT5VF6J9q7Cqyzk1Kdk0Morxd3Hn | a7g8h4 | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to talk to my mom? | **It's super long but context is important I believe in this case.**
​
I don't know where to begin. Maybe some back story on my mom?
My mom is the 2nd youngest of 5 kids. When she was growing up, until 8 years old, my mother and her siblings were abused physically and (the girls) sexually by their drunken father. My mom talks about the night her dad got drunk and lined her and her siblings up against the wall in the kitchen and smacked them all.
She said one night she got up because she heard screaming and went in the kitchen to find her mom tied to a chair and her dad cutting her eye lids with a knife. She cried about this quite a lot when she told me this story.
After a while she and her siblings were taken from both their parents because neither were fit to take care of them. My grandpa was a piece of shit and my grandma was okay from what I understand but was a paranoid schizophrenic.
From there my mom and her siblings were taken into foster care and split up. They were sexually and physically abused. My mom said she would go to a foster home and get abused or go to a good one only to be taken away from them after a few months or a year.
She had no motivation for school and dropped out. She had no idea how to take care of herself so she started using men as a way of surviving seeing as how she had learned no practical skills, failed high school and really didn't have a family to lean on. She was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic but denies it and hasn't taken medicine for it in over 20 years according to my dad.
​
I'm almost 20 now. Growing up my mom took care of me and my younger half-sister till I was 9. My mom was on housing assistance and food stamps, she didn't have a washer and dryer most of the places we lived so sometimes we wore dirty clothes to school. The only reason my dad let me live with her was because he was afraid she would kill herself and then me and my siblings would hold it against him.
Finally he got custody of me and my half-sisters dad got custody of her. After my mom didn't have her kids to take care of anymore she fell into deep depression and started heavily abusing drugs and pills. My mom used to be beautiful, 10 years later and she looks 20 years older, her teeth are very messed up from smoking meth I think.
Throughout her addiction she has given drugs to my siblings. Hardcore drugs like dope. She lives with my older sister right now and gives her drugs and pills and continues to help her ruin her life and be stuck in addiction. My other older sister overdosed when I was 10, was choking on her own blood and had to be med flighted if I remember correctly. My mom was there too. She still gives drugs to my siblings in exchange for them helping her get drugs and pills.
The last 10 years my mom has been helping my siblings destroy their lives and after driving my older sister to the hospital twice for overdoses and almost seeing her die I cannot fathom how my mom can give her kids drugs. She says "They're adults, they make their own decisions."
​
My mom had a very rough life growing up and a hard adult life as well. She just doesn't have the skills to be a proper parent. She never even got to see what normal parenting looks like and she has a mental illness.
I'm very conflicted between being mad at her and feeling sympathy. I can't imagine having gone through what she has and coming out the other end even slightly okay. I feel guilty for even getting mad at her for what she does and cried for a long time before writing this.
AITA for not wanting to talk to her anymore? | HISTORICAL | {
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wO1jN4z1pH1IiP17aMMsZiPWid07FdHm | awcrpl | {
"description": "refusing to do something and was confronted about doing it but I told everyone I wouldn't do it hours before",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to do something and was confronted about doing it but I told everyone I wouldn't do it hours before? | Title probably sounds dumb and it kind of is, but I'll explain more. Last night my friend invited me and my other friend to go visit his sister in college (not far). I was excited at first but changed my mind during school the next day that I was too tired and just wanted to sleep when I got home. So I told both of them that I wasn't gonna go. I then went to bed, and set my alarm for after they would leave. About two hours later I was woken up to my two friends in my room telling me I had to get up. They were let in by my mom of course who apparently didn't realize they wouldn't convince me to leave, and would just end up mad at me. And that's what happened.
My reasoning for not going was that I was still tired but more importantly why were they in my room? Idk how they thought that could've ended any differently. Pretty sure I'm in the right. | HISTORICAL | {
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y9gzsIqBj3TlMTJ0P6d75jgy2YLrfGbK | amln4h | {
"description": "almost dumping my bf over a casual discussion with an ex-friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for almost dumping my bf over a casual discussion with an ex-friend? | First of all, let me give you all some context.
I'm dating a guy and our anniversary is two weeks from now, he's very sweet and always is there for me when I need him, our relationship is very healthy. He's also been my only company over these last months, since all my friends forgot about me during vacation (I'm from Brazil so we get a two month holiday break at the end of the year).
The other person involved is actually my best friend but because of some coincidences, misinterpretations and a lot of anger we stopped talking for almost an year and she spread some nasty rumors about me, so we actually hated each other for a long while.
At the time she was dating my bf's best friend, but it was an unstable and toxic relationship for both parts, he's also one of the motives we argued.
My boyfriend, started hating her because of all the shit she put me through and for dumping his best friend.
Three days ago she asked me to go out and talk about all of that. Before accepting it, I talked to my bf.
I never expected him to be so mad at me for wanting to talk to her. For real. We argued for like, two days. I accepted her offer anyway, but he was still pretty enraged. He didn't think she deserved it, that I am pretty dumb for doing that, and that I am gonna be betrayed by her once again.
Today, he asked me if he could come over so we can watch some movies together, I sweetly declined because I had to go talk to the ex-enemy/best friend (I guess), and said that if we finished it early then I would go and meet him.
Well, that's where things truly go downhill.
I went and talked to her, we had a good conversation about everything that happened, she apologized, recognized her error and didn't blame me for anything. At that point I had pretty much accepted her apology and we were talking about random things that happened over the course of the last year.
That's when my bf called me and said he had been waiting for over two hours for me to go meet him and started saying that I preferred her over him. He told me he was gonna meet me at where we were and that if I didn't stop talking to her, he was gonna break up with me.
I got really mad and told her everything, but he wouldn't stop calling. He was almost screaming telling me to go meet him at the park and that he didn't approve of me to be friends with her again. I, very emotional at that point, told him to come where I was if he wanted to talk, I told him he was being very childish and that it was only a conversation.
When he got there, he wasn't screaming anymore, instead he very calmingly asked me to speak in private for some minutes. But I was very angry and told him I didn't want to talk to him.
We started loudly arguing in public and I was ready to dump him. He told me I was being a jerk and "if you really do prefer her, then I'm not gonna be with you", so I replied giving him my promise ring. I was in tears at this point, I had completely lost it. He was pretty shocked and my friend was quietly watching everything.
I grabbed her hand and walked away from him and towards the park (we live on a really small town). He followed us, of course, while rambling about giving him one minute to talk to him in private and not breaking up.
Me and her sat down at a bench and he was still going on. I was crying a lot and asking him to go home. I told him I was gonna talk to him tomorrow but he was still telling me we shouldn't leave this unfinished.
I did my best to calm myself down, he gave me my ring back, and we talked for some minutes.
He apologized to me and told me I really shouldn't be friends with her because she hurt me, and that he was only worried about me, but still very angry. I told him that it was my choice and he had to respect that, and that it wouldn't affect our relationship, that I would still give him attention. We hugged and I thought everything was okay.
Nope.
She walked me back home and I apologized for the trouble, she said no problem and went home.
I went to my room and grabbed my phone.
I read some recently sent messages from my bf and he still insisted me to choose one of them. I of course said that I could be his gf and still be her friend, and then he said he didn't want me anywhere near her. I asked him to come over so we could talk. AGAIN.
We talked, he told me how embarrassed he got at the ice-cream shop and that everyone was gonna talk about it tomorrow. He also expressed how upset he was that I lied multiple times about seeing him and not becoming friends with her. I never said I was going to meet him, just said it was a possibility.
With no option left, I apologized about my behavior and told him that I am gonna stop talking to her. He's still upset and we can't find a common ground.
I still love him very much but I miss my best friend friend.
Tell me reddit, who's guilty? | HISTORICAL | {
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v3Gy1QgqnC2iQmi0jKecTPymFUTxvLP2 | am2s50 | {
"description": "not inviting my best friend to an event thrown by the dick she loves",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not inviting my best friend to an event thrown by the dick she loves? | Cast:
Me: 'gifted' stoner, in my early 20s, emotionally incompetent and unmotivated.
Her: cheerleader type that works hard at everything, very smart and driven.
Him: jock with an ego but not dumb
Long story but it is required to get to one tiny issue that fucked everything up.
​
The three of us were in a two-year psychology course together. None of us started off particularly liking each other but as the classes went on we grew quite close, close enough for the jock and the cheerleader to start hooking up and close enough for me and the cheerleader to call each other best friends. The three of us got on great together and it was easy--until he started treating her like a dick.
She would get sad because the jock would say things like 'I don't care about you' and blatantly stare at/flirt with other girls, but I was happy to listen to her and help her and we still talked every single day for over a year. She helped me through my bullshit and I can honestly owe a huge deal of my maturing process to her (she's older).
Then as the course was coming to an end she just cut me out of her inner circle. There was no reason that she just stopped including me in her life and when I said it to her she just said that she was so busy--looking back it was gaslighting. I was stupid and didn't realise it for a few weeks, until it became painfully obvious to me. She would never admit to being done with me but her definition of effort was saying "Hows things?" most Sunday nights which would lead to a three message 'conversation' of pleasantries and surface level bullshit. We literally stopped talking in person and after a party at my house, she and I were alone, sat in the kitchen for an hour without saying a single word to one another as my girlfriend went out to get more drinks and she waited for her jock to wake up. As you can imagine this was hard but I did what I could to move past it. Seeing her do things with other people was like having my heart shat on with razor blades, but I stopped trying and it started hurting less when I didn't think of her.
This lasted until after we were done--it had hurt like nothing else to see someone you care about forget that you exist, but it happened and I moved on. Then my phone rang for two seconds and hung up. It was her. I called her back and we were tense but we made up without really addressing the cause of the issue. Things were good again and despite myself, I trusted her again. We were best friends again and there were fights here and there, but we were good. She was still hooking up with the jock who started treating her worse and worse and I was still friends with him, this was the source of almost every fight but there was nothing serious.
There was another bout of exclusion somewhere in there but it was nowhere near as bad this time as she wasn't being cruel and I shot my shot early and pushed her out of my head after I realised she was being a stranger. The jock never included her in things so when she finally reached out (after two months) to say 'Hi' it was the morning that the jock was earning some triathlon medal. I had been invited and, being not bothered, I said I didn't want to go. When she said Hi I knew it was to try and tag along and I didn't want to reply with "Hey, I'm not going to the ceremony" because that would have been short and that's the only way I could see around having to do the painful pleasantries, so I didn't respond. Later that week we grew close again.
Finally, the potentially assholey bit of my story (I think I had been pretty supportive and forgiving so far)
The jock was being exceptionally cruel to the cheerleader. She was miserable and I was there for her. I wasn't great as I was drinking a lot and smoking too much weed at the time, but I was always there for her when she needed it and she could snap me out of my self-destructive stupidity when she wanted to, she just didn't think to do it this time or I was beyond a finger-wagging, or she just didn't see the bout of depression.
I was a bit shitty with her but nothing too bad. We went on a road trip across countries together and despite me not being in top form, we still created some wonderful memories. Then before Christmas I was invited to lunch by the jock. I went and he invited me to another sports ceremony that I politely said I didn't care about (I'm endearingly honest), then he invited me out for Christmas and proposed a road trip in the new year. I agreed to both of them without much thought of the cheerleader, and when I saw her that night I told her (not that endearingly honest). Of course, she was pissed off but not bad enough to be done with me.
That sports ceremony was a week after I was with her. I was drunk when I told her about the road trip and the Christmas bar crawl, but we still had a laugh and though she was hurt, I clued her in and was there for her, made her less sad. The next morning I asked her how bad I was since I was quite fucked up talking to her. She took four days to respond which is rare enough in itself, but then she said "Hi, just seeing this now..." which is a barefaced lie but not a big deal, to be honest.
The problem is a switch flicked in my head and I subconsciously thought 'Oh, she's going to be a stranger for a while' and I pushed her out of my mind. The day after she and I had our quick catch up (over text) the jock said he needed someone to go to his gig (that I had already passed on) and it seemed like he needed a favour. I said okay while depressed as hell (around birthday (which I hate) and an old girlfriend was pregnant and trying to talk to me (not mine)).
I went and didn't invite her; I didn't even think of inviting her. She found out on Facebook (fuck Facebook) and she got mad at me before my phone died mid-conversation. I left it there and when my birthday came during the next week she sent me a message saying "I was at work until now, happy birthday." at 11:25 at night. We had a shallow and meaningless three messages before it became painful. A few days later without contact, I texted her "Are you going to let me apologize to you before Christmas?" This caused a fight since; of fucking course it did, I was stupid for presenting my apology to her like that.
That fight was our last communication. I went out over Christmas, I'm doing that road trip soon. I did try and convince the jock to include her in things and he sees her as just hurting herself and there's nothing to be done about it. She blocked me on everything after I went out at Christmas. I dropped a letter into her for Christmas with a present I know she likes. That's the end of it.
​
This has been a rambling mess but I shake when I feel strong emotion and this has stopped me shaking. I feel better just sharing. I tried to paint this whole ordeal in a fair light, I assume I failed. So, am I the asshole? Do you guys think she is going to talk to me again?
​
I would honestly consider her a soulmate and I don't remember the last time I saw her because I was almost blackout drunk. I don't want our last uttered word to be "The two of you are cunts". I'm over my sad spell after Christmas was torture. I have no idea how she's getting on.
​
TL;DR - I didn't think to invite my best friend to the event of a guy she is stupidly in love with. I then made it worse by being resentful that their shit was becoming my problem. I see the hurt from her perspective but there's nothing wrong with the way I treat her. I feel like I'm getting 100% of the negativity she feels towards him. | HISTORICAL | {
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SNg8h94vOgw9XFb1ijoYNw7g0BG78QFf | ad00my | {
"description": "answering scam calls and leading on the callers or sometimes just harassing them",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for answering scam calls and leading on the callers or sometimes just harassing them | So I get at least 3 scam calls a day from completely random numbers. My phone is normally silent so this usually doesn’t bother me. Sometimes I will be on my phone and I get a call from a number I don’t recognize and I answer it.
The call always starts out as automated and it’s usually talks about lowering health insurance rates or credit bills or one time regarding my viagra prescription. I’m a male in my early 20’s. I don’t need viagra. Anyway I always press 2 to talk to a representative and without fail it’s someone with poor English skills and has a very foreign accent. I usually lead them on for a bit and I end it with “huh that’s fucking weird you called since I don’t have a credit card.” Another time a guy and i got in argument on fucking each other’s mother.
Anyway it’s just another cheap thrill I get by arguing with people scam calling me. Am I the asshole for doing this because I imagine people having to do this are not in the best situation. What they are doing is illegal and all but sometimes I feel bad but it also amuses me more than it should arguing with an Indian dude on how many of his relatives I’ve slept with. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SDoX7iiJLBlaAZwxK3ndygyrQDDeOzi2 | aevz81 | {
"description": "not wanting to 'chat' with my co workers when I'm busy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For not wanting to 'chat' with my co workers when I'm busy? | I work as a part time duty manager at a supermarket while I study at university. Basically this means anything the store manager or the 2IC doesn't want to do gets shoved on my plate and I only work in 5 hour closing shifts.
Anyway on quietish days I chat with a few people. But lately people keep trying to socialize with me when I'm busy doing shit. Different from "hey hows it going" etc.
I honestly give one or two word answers and hopefully they get the hint that I'm not fucking around. But lately people have been getting shitty with me (Act all pissy when I try to actually talk to them later.)
I kind of feel bad, but when I go to work I'm in the 'get shit done' mode.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
RGwkLtRE7n3pwJ48Nbp0YQ1hgsM1jFXO | b2zvda | {
"description": "choosing his best friend over him",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for choosing his best friend over him? | This situation happened pretty recently my ex broke up with me and I was trying to look for a new person to move on from my dumb ex.
I started hanging out with a close friend I had my freshman year of highschool I'll call him E for this story (I'm now a junior(also back then I had a huge crush on him and considered him "my first love")) and after a few weeks his friend, T, said he was intrested me after a couple weeks of hanging out.
Everything was going well for the first few months I would talk to T daily and we were both sure we were going to date soon. I kept using words like "When we date..." and "I really like you" "I miss you". Until something strange happened. We were in the back of T's car and somehow we all started making out with each other E kissing T me kissing E and T.
After that day E started texting me a lot more often and I soon realized I really liked him, more than T. Which left me in a predicament because I had to choose between the two of them. E and I kept our 'relationship' a secret for a while in front of T, for example when ever he wanted to hold hands I'd cover the hand holding with my leg or if he went inside a gas station when we stopped we would let go when we saw him come out the door.
Of course T wasn't too dumb and eventually realized what was going on he expressed his dismay and how upset he was to me and E's sister. He ended up calling me a whore. Am I the asshole in this situation?
TLDR; I led on a guy for a few months and ended up with their best friend. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
4kfu42HPNMvh9dRGCThDIraDfljdEHNf | b1z14a | {
"description": "attending the symphony when my mother is in the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for attending the symphony when my mother is in the hospital? | Obligatory Mobile apology
So last night my mother was admitted to the hospital because she has an infected joint in her knee. My aunt had bought tickets for the family to go to the symphony tomorrow. My mother has told me to go to the symphony without her as she bought everything for the lunch and everything.
So this morning I called my grandparents to let them know I might need a ride with them due to my mother being in the hospital, my grandmother's response was basically like what do you mean you're going your mom is in the hospital, and I explained that my mom told me to go.
Later I called my dad(mom and dad are seperated) and I said also I was going to the symphony, he said the same thing.
I went into the hospital and told my mom that I didn't think I should go due to her being the hospital and I feel bad going because she is the hospital. She told me that I had to go. So here I am going to the symphony and I feel like a asshole for going so tell me. Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
564PQCoXI52DeaRLGHcVbpA3x16zbYvA | ba7aoc | {
"description": "refusing to take my boyfriend's friend home tonight",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I refused to take my boyfriend’s friend home tonight? | Hey all. Long time lurker here, throwaway because some people know my other user.
So, let’s get down to business. My boyfriend does not have a vehicle of his own for reasons that aren’t important. Because of this, I drive him around a lot, including to and from work and his extra curricular activities, but I truly don’t mind because I love him and it makes me happy to help. I know he really appreciates it, but lately I’ve been finding myself becoming increasingly upset because he keeps offering rides to his friends without asking me and expects me to go out of my way to bring them home.
I may slightly be a jerk, but I don’t want to give these people rides to and from destinations that are often over an hour apart. It’s uncomfortable for me riding in the car with a perfect stranger and trying to make small talk. They never offer me gas money, I always get stuck driving them home (like I said), and I feel I shouldn’t have to he responsible for making sure these people (who i usually don’t know through a hole in the wall) have a ride to and from their own engagements. If I were asked and given the chance to say no, I would do so. And the chances are, I would probably be nice enough to take home these people every now and again too, I do realize these are his friends and I don’t mind helping sometimes.
What prompted me to write this post is today, we are at an event that is close to 4 hours from home. Like usual, one of his friends suddenly discovered that they do not have a ride home, so he offered for me to take them. After a long ride that probably won’t be over until at least 10 o’clock, I don’t really want to spend more time going out of my way to drop this person off at their house. My question is, would I be the asshole if I refused to take his friend home and made her find another ride? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yVSrzVXG18RiZo7Upgb2nBazkJiUfUZv | 9tlbal | {
"description": "wanting a hysterectomy",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting a hysterectomy? | Hi,
I have had health problems my entire life, including a bout of cervical cancer that was detected very early and successfully treated with a surgery that preserved my fertility in my early twenties. In September I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and am undergoing treatment (because my luck is just that awesome). I was also diagnosed with moderate endometriosis on Monday. There are several treatment options, one of which is a hysterectomy. This is the treatment option I want to pursue for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it has the highest success rate and after all this chemo I'll probably be sterile anyway. My husband is opposed to this because "we might want to have kids someday" and doesn't want to adopt. I have always been ambivalent at best about having children, and have been both forthcoming and consistent about that for our entire seven year relationship. I won't lie and say that probably 10% of the appeal of a hysterectomy is that I unequivocally do not want to have children with my husband anytime soon, if ever. While I love him more than I can say, he is a combat vet with severe PTSD and a really angry (sometimes kinda scary) drunk. It's getting better, slowly but surely, but I can't think of anything more cruel, irresponsible, or unfair than to bring a child into this environment. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
fuVNBu8UEA4guprnhFqglVHETU1uJWKR | ahytuw | {
"description": "giving my boyfriend unsolicited advice about our friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for giving my boyfriend unsolicited advice about our friend? | Hey everyone,
Sorry in advance if this is long, it's a bit weird to explain. I ask that everyone is honest with me here, as I would really like to resolve this issue and obviously if I did something wrong I should apologise. I could really use some objective third party advice here.
My bf, D (23M) and I (21F), and I have a friend, S (20F). She is his best friend and they dated briefly almost 2 years ago but decided they are better as friends. I want to preface all of this by saying she is absolutely not the problem. She is always very respectful of our relationship and I think she is a good friend for D. They have known each other for about three years.
When D introduced us, we instantly got along. I knew about her through the grapevine already before I even met D and I had a little bit of a girl crush on her. She's beautiful and very sweet, a literal angel. I love her to death and am very protective over her.
D and S had irreconcilable differences that made it clear they are not good together for a relationship. I have never had even an inkling of doubt that he would cheat on me or still has feelings for her or anything. She was the last person he dated before me and it's been a long time since then. I don't want anyone thinking this issue has something to do with him having feelings for her or anything like that. Trust me, I have been cheated on multiple times and know the signs and gut feelings and all of that.
Also, for the most part, me and D have a great relationship. We're both child-free, have been together for almost a year and he was my best friend for a year before that. We live together in a very cute one bedroom apartment which me moved into recently in December. We split everything 50/50, I go to school full time for Finance and work at a very prestigious country club in our area, and he is a professional musician. We both make good money and support ourselves (I do get a little bit of help from my mom with paying for school and medical stuff and the like since I'm unable to work full time during school). I am very happy with him and generally enjoy our relationship.
We do however have our issues like every other couple. The main one is communication which we try to work on every day. I try to work on keeping my tone calm and not yelling and also bringing things up at appropriate times, and he works on not shutting down and getting mean and aggressive. One of the arguments we had recently ended with him telling me he wanted me to be more direct about what I want and just coming out and saying it instead of hinting or beating around the bush.
The other night we hung out with S for the first time in a few months. She is very busy and although they talk for an hour or so once a week-ish on the phone, neither of us see her very often. I text Snapchat and call her regularly as well and consider her a close friend. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. Immediately, I guess D could see something was wrong with her, and started asking her repeatedly to tell him. I could tell she didn't want to talk about it and kept trying to change the subject and hoping he would get the hint. She told him over and over again that she didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't a big deal, etc. and I was starting to feel VERY awkward and uncomfortable being in the middle of this situation and was getting quite anxious (I have chronic anxiety that I have seen a therapist for).
When she went to take a bathroom break I decided to do what he asked the last time we argued and be honest and direct. I told him I know he means well and isn't trying to be an ass but he is putting both of us in a really uncomfortable position by continuing to ask her what's wrong. She probably doesn't want to talk about it in a public place and he could always talk to her about it privately. She'll talk to him when she's ready, all that stuff. I didn't even make it about myself and my feelings, because I didn't think that was as important as there not being weirdness between the two of them, and that was the only source of my discomfort, so if that was resolved I'd be okay.
Throughout the conversation he was being extremely argumentative and snappy saying he knows her better than me and that he knows if he just coaxes it out of her she'll tell him. He was upset that she picked a Starbucks because they wouldn't be able to talk there. I told him she likely picked the location on purpose because she wanted to just be chill today and not get into heavy stuff since it was the first time they'd gotten to hang out in a while. He got very angry when I said this and said he didn't ask for my advice, he's known her longer than me, and I'm butting in where it's not my place.
He was quiet and moody the rest of the night and when we headed home he was silent. I brought it up again in the car because I felt the issue was unresolved and didn't want us to go to bed without fully discussing it. We argued the whole way home and he stood his ground that I should have basically sucked it up and not said anything because she's mainly his friend and he knows her better. I didn't understand why he was upset since I was doing what he asked by being honest and direct without being mean.
So honestly, am I the asshole here? I know people shouldn't give unsolicited advice and believe in the "nobody asked" rule. I don't like people giving me unsolicited advice and although I typically try to refrain from doing so (unless I think it's absolutely necessary, i.e. I think a person is actively going to ruin their life or get hurt or something if I don't give them advice) I thought since this situation involved me and I kind of had to sit there and feel uncomfortable by all of it, and I didn't think it was fair for him to put S or me in that situation, I had a right to say something.
​
Thanks in advance for any advice; it's all appreciated! I'm always trying to better myself as a person, so any input on how I can be a better person and girlfriend, and improve communication between me and my bf, is welcome. Also, I will answer any additional questions if needed! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
EYQVxxFGzXFZ1DSBb6KRg2HCl3kvsTmG | b6sv7d | {
"description": "wanting 8 hours of sleep",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for wanting 8 hours of sleep? | My wife and I are going through a really tough time, as we have a few big stressors in our life. We have a 2 month old son and an almost 5 year old, I am going through an extensive job search, but most recently, our landlord is selling the house we rent, causing us to move months before we expect to. This is causing us to not only have to move twice in a matter of months, we have to find a rental property that rents monthly. I work full time and my wife stays at home, and recently has been very worried we won't be ready to move because of how little time we have to devote to packing.
So, my wife's plan is, among other things, to cut back my sleep schedule to only 6 hours daily for the next month. I barely get the recommended 8 as it is, I'm no longer the young kid who could pull all nighters all the time. By the way, that 6 hours includes taking showers, brushing teeth, etc.
Frankly, I'm worried about what my health will become and how my job performance will be affected, on top of me always being grouchy due to lack of sleep. I've brought this up and she says I'm being selfish for allocating 8 hours to sleep when she doesn't and can function fine. She doesn't believe that I need 8 hours of sleep and that I'm putting my job before my family. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
tF6spTgpMSq9Tsbf0RWbywMyU5v9QzsD | acyutp | {
"description": "not answering someone that don't really want to talk with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not answering someone that don't really want to talk with me? | I would go for a wall text here, but the question is quite simple: I talked with a girl for a whole month, then she started to take 1 or 2 days to answer me, sometimes didn't answering at all.
I didn't complained about it, but I got tired and then did the same thing when she replyed me back. Now she keep sending me messages of how I'm such an asshole. Is dealing with situations like that in "eye for an eye mode" that bad? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
qNcvB9UMfC32dSjhVORw7Ju1d9Q9BCQQ | a3urrn | {
"description": "kicking a player out of a dnd game that hasn't started yet",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for kicking a player out of a DnD game that hasn’t started yet? | So I am dming a group of a my friends in a game of Dungeons and Dragons and I recently discovered that one of the players lets call him M went over to another player’s apartment we’ll call her C and had a threesome with her roommate. While this isn’t a problem they did it on C’s bed while she was out of town so they could blame the noise on her, and according to the other guy they didn’t even wash her sheets after this.
After I found this out, I asked C if she wanted me to remove M from the game. She said yes and I obliged.
AITA for asking this question or was it justified? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
CLfj1DAzqZpwZr9LwyeEnwSjMSKnQz23 | 9vypx8 | {
"description": "calling out my friend in front of everyone and then kicking him out of the group",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling out my friend in front of everyone and then kicking him out of the group? | I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes this text might have, English isn't my native language.
My friend, who I will call A, is quite religious and today, in a WhatsApp group a bunch of friends and I have, we argued; he started to talk about how he believes God controls everything, and that he doesn't think it is up to discussion.
Another friend of mine, who I will call B, and is also quite religious told him he didn't believe it to be that way, this led to an argument in which A questioned everyone’s faith, including mine, and told us we were close-minded and dumb if we didn't think as he did.
All of this got me pretty worked up, so I decided to list all the dumb shit he has done to other people in the past year or so;
A friend of ours (A and me) came out as gay, he stopped being friends with him and has been bullying him non stop for the past three months.
He missed 2 of his closest friends birthdays under the excuse of not being able to make it as he had another commitment, we found out he playing fortnite and lying about it.
My friend B broke his ankle, so he had a cast, which we all signed, A decided it was funny to draw a dick instead.
We also recently found out he talks shit about us with another group of friends.
Then I kicked him out of the group.
He has been messaging non stop about how he did nothing to me and telling me about how I never thanked him for something he did eight months ago and never told me about.
AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
49r4IIZiYagSlkBa8qEDBmt7uli6yP4U | at2hyg | {
"description": "handling this with my ex-husband like I did",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for handling this with my ex-husband like I did? | Nothing like an early morning argument with your ex to start the day off right!
My ex is remarried with two other kids and anytime he has some kind of obligation on his time with the kids, he suddenly needs me to take our two kids back because his wife “can’t handle all four kids”.
Well, what exactly did y’all think would happen when you chose to have two more kids on top of the two you already had?
And that’s exactly what I said this morning.
He immediately got defensive and spewed a bunch of profanities at me, told me if I was going to lecture him then forget about it, and how they help me out all of the time.
Help me out all of the time? Yeah, when I have to work late or go out of town because there’s literally no one else here who could help. Their 2 parent home vs my 1 parent home. We have no family in the area.
The “helping each other out” balances itself out in so many ways; down to me going an picking up a package from USPS one morning for them because my ex was coaching our son’s basketball game and idk why his wife couldn’t do it, but I helped out anyway.
Regardless, I will always always always take my kids for extra time, but spare the BS about how difficult life is with 4 kids when you chose this life.
Seriously, it was the same song and dance when their first born was an infant, how did they not think it would improve?
98% of the time, we coparent very well. We actually spend birthdays and holidays together, we have “family meetings” when the kids are going through something tough, we try really hard to be a solid unit - the three of us.
AITA for being annoyed that his wife can’t handle all 4 kids?
AITA for sharing that I’m annoyed with the whole thing with him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PsIuYqkwfQyAUn44xzGdjCrAFGzdkq5Y | b44649 | {
"description": "choosing to a parent's wish to ignore their child over a child's desire to know their parents",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA If I chose to a parent's wish to ignore their child over a child's desire to know their parents? | When I was about 20 I back to my homeland (we had moved when I was five). I spent quite a while there as I was doing uni there. I met a girl who I bonded with. Sarah and I had a lot in common both being away from our families and main country of residence. We also looked a great deal alike which resulted in a lot of jokes as we pretended that we were fraternal twins and such. After awhile Sarah confided in me that she was pregnant. She did not want an abortion nor did she want to keep the child. She wanted an adoption but could not afford the hospital fees. As this was my country of birth I was a citizen and entitled to everything a citizen has including free health insurance. I then told her we could swap identities for health and she could sign in under my name.
​
She used my insurance at the hospital and then things went wrong. For starters, the hospital put my name on the application for the birth certificate so we had to follow through and put my name on the birth certificate. That meant that my name was on the documents when we handed her over for adoption.
​
Fast forward about 25 years. Marcy has contacted me on Facebook asking if I am her mom. She gives the details and stats of her birth and the birth certificate details of her mother they are definitely my friend's child. I contacted Sarah and she is adamant that no details are to be given to Marcy. As far as Sarah is concerned she did her duty by taking care of herself and having a child she didn't want. Now Sarah has a beautiful life with 2 kids and a husband and definitely does not want an illegitimate child coming out and making a scene as her family is not tolerant of a love child's or pre-marital sex.
​
WIBTA if I kept quiet and respected Sarah's wishes? I do not know any of her father's details so I can't help there either. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
4cQn50Gr41qI41raThptZFu4SoqOltd6 | azi2f5 | {
"description": "visiting my pets at someone else's house in the evening",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for visiting my pets at someone else’s house in the evening? | I have a pet which requires an inordinate amount of care and needed a pet-friendly place when I moved.
I located somewhere an hour and a half away. When I told this to a friend, he went away and found me an offer with a shorter commute which did not allow pets. I refused it. He asked: would I take it if *he* kept ‘Snuffles’ and I came over to his house to look after her? He said he could put her in the dining room and give me a key.
I was appreciative but refused again. I emphasised just how much work went into looking after Snuffles. I would need to be there for *a* *minimum* *of two hours every single* *evening* playing with her, cleaning, preparing food, dealing with medical issues and clearing any mess she made. She is lovable, but also noisy, destructive, demanding and not house trainable. No matter what I said, he insisted it would be fine and that he’d put up with it. He said verbatim that *he and his wife never used the dining room outside of special occasions and would only insist that I not be there later than 9pm*. I still said no.
I was abruptly told that the far-away place was going to be given away if I did not accept. I texted my friend that I was going to take it. He called me back and yelled ‘Don’t! Our arrangement is so much better!’ He said he’d give me complete logistical freedom. On the basis of that, I accepted.
In hindsight, I think he pitied me, since I’m down on my luck, and just said whatever would get me to agree to his idea.
Once I'd moved Snuffles into his house he did a 180.
I said I would do my best not to intrude on special occasions, but could guarantee nothing and would usually be there between 5 and 8pm, which he accepted. I immediately got messages about how nice it would be if I left before 6pm, so we ‘wouldn’t be in each other’s way’. This would mean my dropping everything at 3pm or earlier on many days, which isn’t possible. I told him so but he then *insisted* I *had* to be there early, especially on weekends. He talked about his family ‘deserving to enjoy their own dining room’. I understand, of course, but this directly contradicts what he said before. It turns out he hosts cookouts in the dining room on both weekend days as well, so I often have to give up much of my weekend to work around his guests. To hell with my plans, he wants me out of sight, not unlike a cleaner ^((no disrespect)). He also, incidentally, snuck Snuffles lots of unhealthy food.
Recently, he told me he was hosting a birthday, so I agreed to be out by 5pm Friday. On the *Thursday*, I walk into a room of guests having a movie night. They confirm that today is not the birthday, they just didn’t say they were bringing guests over the night before. I got to work, and all the while the mentor began whispering about how rude I was, disrupting their movie. They never looked at me as they said this. I was out by 18:45, the best I could do.
I can’t move again anytime soon. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PUI9sgYNqlOzXvWkpphGpA3c7zqDN9IK | ab0m5y | {
"description": "telling my cousin I won't pick her up late night anymore because she was rude",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my cousin I won't pick her up late night anymore because she was rude? | I have a cousin that stays with my family. She's a freeroam teenager and is always out doing things.
I have a car and she frequently goes out places late at night and calls me to take her home at really inconvenient times like at 12AM. Me, trying to be a good person, usually picks her up and gets her home and I don't even ask for gas money.
On Friday she called me at 3AM to pick her up knowing I had work at 7AM. I still went to get her. She had a friend with her that she didn't tell me about and said they needed a ride home. I agreed even though it was out of my way.
They kept playing music I didn't want to hear the entire time and I asked them to turn it off because it was late and I didn't want to hear it. She started complaining and I told her it was late and I didn't want to hear that music.
I didn't have to pick her up in the first place. Everyone else usually says no, especially this late, and she doesn't even say thank you.
She started saying "Well I can find my own ride no one told you that you had to." And saying it wasn't even that late and I told her to remember that next time she needed a ride and she said "okay" in a way that just pissed me off. I pulled over and told her to find her own ride if she can do it that easy.
We sat there for twenty minutes until her friend apologized and asked me to let it go for now and at least get them home. I agreed just because I needed to get back home to get ready for work anyways.
Today she texted me asking for a ride to work and I told her "You said you could find your own ride, ask someone else." She didn't even apologize for what she said to me on Friday. She stopped replying after.
Was I wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
unwWswJUzuCwAPwOWAIbljV7yTxiKqQU | acn5h7 | {
"description": "looking forward to a recession so that house flippers and other predatory speculators lose their asses",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for looking forward to a recession so that house flippers and other predatory speculators lose their asses? | If you guys want to try and give an economics lesson here that's cool, as long as it's fact based and you don't have an agenda. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
LrmrL9DYaUQdVEyM8hQMmDzKAfouqxqH | b18qxa | {
"description": "being somewhat smug",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being somewhat smug? | I'm a 21 year-old college student. Last school year, I was 'friends' with a group who gradually phased me out. A couple of the members were absolutely condescending towards me. Some of them I'm still friends with. The way it's looking, I'm going to be the most successful person out of that entire group, and I'm damn proud of it. I haven't even graduated college and I have an internship lined up this summer at $30 an hour. I'm also striving to b the best out of my old 'group' physically. This includes both fitness and appearance. I'm absolutely killing the game of life compared to them. One of the guys I liked the least dropped out of college and is working minimum wage.
So AITA for thinking this? Or just a little cocky? Both?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
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