id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
WaOOORQJocY3GoaW3Wn6vdg4zkUOkNRH | 9uko93 | {
"description": "visiting one of my best friends for my birthday but didn't invite his gf",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for visiting one of my best friends for my birthday but didn't invite his gf? (which happens to be one of my best friends as well) | Ok so in my first year of college I had this really close group of friends comprised by myself, two dudes (dudeA and dudeB) and a girl (let's call her girlA). Over the course of the next few years the group grew in size, and while new arrivals were welcomed, we made it a point that whenever we went out it'd still be us only us 4, "preserving" the original group.
Fast forward 4 years (today) and we're all over the place as we graduated and chose different paths.
This year dudeA left for Madrid to continue his masters, and since in the 4 years we've known each other (I mean the 4 of us) we never got to take a trip together, I thought we three could go visit him for a few days for my birthday. All good right? Well.. During my last year in college I really bonded with another girl (girlB) who, just recently, became dudeA's gf. They're currently having a long distance relationship and they get to see each other a few times a month as she goes to visit him or he comes back. But since he left I'm practically this girl's ONLY friend here as she's from another city and she doesn't really get along with other people. Now remember girlA? Turns out all this time she's got a crush on dudeA, and obviously doesn't like girlB. So prefacing that between girlA (from the original group) and girlB I've grown MUCH closer to the latter, I now kind of had to make a choice to bring either one or the other as, if I invited one the other wouldn't come..
And in the end I chose girlA, for two reasons: firstly because we talked so much about taking this trip together (only us 4) and knew how much this meant to her, and secondly because I wanted to enjoy dudeA's company without his gf (girlB) as when they're together he acts a bit differently and isn't 100% himself and I haven't seen him in almost 5 months.
So from girlB's perspective her "best friend" (if I can call myself that after doing this) is now going to see HER boyfriend for my birthday to which she practically isn't invited, AND I invited the one person she saw as her rival (girlA).
Am I an asshole for doing this? I feel like a piece of shit since she was really destroyed by this and sees it at a huge betrayal. My intention was never ever to hurt her in any way, but I selfishly prioritized the fact that I wanted my friend (dudeA) for myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
q7N9dyRotjnOI8XaqKxYe9InI3UBYHZw | b58027 | null | AITA My dad bought Iron Maiden tickets for me and I don’t want them | So my dad spent $200 on Iron Maiden tickets for me and him, which I mean, that’s cool and all. I would rather have the money, but he’s always wanted to see them. The reason I’m annoyed is because I asked for tickets to go see Jeff Dunham with him, because that’s someone we could both enjoy and someone we both actually want to see. He didn’t buy them bc he said they were “too expensive” which they weren’t, they were half the price. So now I have to go see Iron Maiden (which I know is a once in a lifetime experience, but I’m a 21F who’s not really into that) when I really don’t want to. I told my mom how I felt and she didn’t say anything, but I won’t tell my dad because I don’t want him to feel bad. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
ul7xHS0b1pT1NWm7bAwtFXCS6AgijAbK | aqz91v | {
"description": "feeling like a rebound because of this",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for feeling like a rebound because of this? | Am I being used as a rebound?
He is a 25/m and I’m a 25/f. My ex recently asked me to go out to eat with him. We have been broken up for almost two years. We dated for six years prior to that. We have shared a lot of our growing up together. We haven’t spoken in over a year. He recently told me that he is generally really happy with his life except for his relationship with his gf as he doesn’t think they’re compatible. Yet he has always told me he didn’t think they’d work but he would give it a shot and ultimately he saw us being together but we had to mature.
So we basically talked for six hours until five am the other night about life, our goals, how we have matured, and what our ever changing perspectives of life are.
So he told me that he has been thinking about past good times a lot because he tends to do that when he is sad. I inquired further and he said he was thinking about what positive things have lead him to where he is now and how I influenced him a lot. He said that he is sad because of his girlfriend situation and how they’re so different and that he thought they could grow together over time but it isn’t happening. He told me he had the crazy obsessive butterfly feeling with me that he didn’t have with her and that he and I were so similar and attached at the hip for like five years. I reminded him we met as teenagers and hormones probably Played a role in that and also we have jobs and lives now.
I also said people are so different and I’ve always wondered if we got along so well because we knew each other for so long and were so similar and saw the world the same or if that kind of grew over time. I said I wondered this with other people who I dated who were up to par but I wasn’t crazy about them. He agreed. We also discussed what we enjoyed about each other and took for granted when we were dating and I shared how I matured as a person and individual and focused on not being dependent in any way on another person (being alone and single caused me so much anxiety before). He didn’t say much in how he matured except for he appreciated people’s emotions now whereas they annoyed him before. He still focused on how much he tries to learn about technology.
We couldn’t stop talking for hours and he gave me a very extended hug after our talk and we left and haven’t spoken since. It’s been a week. He said it was amazing to talk to me and that he may want to catch up again in the future.
He is still with him girlfriend and has never said anything well about her ever.
I am worried I am a rebound for him as he is having these discussions with me while still having a gf. He hasn’t been single since we broke up and am wondering if he just is afraid of being alone.
**TLDR: ex and I talked. He said stuff like he didn’t appreciate me when we were together and his perspectives have changed. He is still dating his gf who he has never spoken positively about. I am wondering if I am just being used as a rebound** | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
juZZPhRYEKKLU9I0SvqqTDgC5JCvPj3D | aj9c5q | {
"description": "intentionally breaking someone Else's Pencil",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For Intentionally Breaking Someone Else’s Pencil | This happened years ago in middle school, but is still a point my aunt likes to bring up at family functions in order to highlight my moral failings, so I have to know.
Some background: When I was in 7th grade my regular teacher left on maternity leave and was replaced by my cousins (then) fiancé. To be honest, 7th grade was by no stretch my best year.
Anyway, one day we were about to take a quiz on some chapter of a book I obviously didn’t read and was doomed to fail. The papers were handed out and I realized I didn’t have a pencil (which was typical) so I turned to the class and asked if anyone had one.
That’s when the very awkward, kind of lonely, girl offered me hers. When my aunt tells this part she typically goes into a long winded and detailed account where she insinuates that the girl wasn’t just handing me a pencil but an extension of her trust and hope.
As soon as the pencil was in my hands, a friend (described by my aunt as a “knucklehead”) next to me said he didn’t have a pencil either. So, without thinking, I broke the one that I had borrowed and gave him the other half. This is where s*** hit the fan. I heard an audible gasp, and to this day I’m unsure if it was the girl or my aunt. It was probably both.
After the quiz I returned both halves of the pencil, which the girl then spent the next fifteen minutes taping back together. I did not apologize (or at least I can’t remember if I did). I honestly don’t think I should have anticipated such an attachment to a pencil at 12 y/o. But I’ve been hearing about this for almost two decades so I have to know AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
myg6I3HUVk8IE1eSrQbqawlGmJo5xtQP | azoyoq | {
"description": "telling my roommate his new relationship is unhealthy to the gfs child and unfair to me, the homeowner",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for telling my roommate his new relationship is unhealthy to the GFs child and unfair to me, the homeowner? | FACTS:
I own a 2 bed 1 bath home and rent the other room to him and him only.
There's him, me, my gf and our 2 pets living here.
He started this relationship 2 months ago
His gf has a young child and she has her own place.
Backstory: So they have only just begun dating and after just a couple dates he was introduced to her daughter. Personally that seems too soon and unleathy for the daughter. Now they've been dating for 2 months and he seems to be trying to fill a father role and he invites them over to spend the night in my cramped house and never gives me a heads up. Without warning there is a 4 yr old in the house and my house is not child proof at all and my dog is still young and not fully socialized to kids so although he is very friendly, he isn't always aware he can knock the kid over or inadvertently bite when hes chomping on his toys. It scares me that I may not be around to watch him when they leave child unsupervised with the dog.
As for the house, there are many expensive things and there has been many spills and already slightly ruined things. We have left out cleaning products and sharp objects are not uncommon around the house.
The child is sometimes left unattended in the common area while they are alone in his room with the door shut. When they all stay the night they are all crammed into his bed. It seems unhealthy that this child should be forced to sleep in a bed with a relatively new person, practically still a stranger. WIBTA for telling him that it's not fair to the child to have to be so involved with the mothers new bf at this early stage in a relationship as well as having to sleep with them in his bed in a house that's not his with basically my whole other family living there? And also that its not fair to me that hes putting me in this awkward situation where I have to be responsible for watching the unattended kid in a MY now extremely cramped house?
TL;DR My roommate brings his brand new gf and her young kid to stay at my cramped house with my overly friendly dog and non child friendly house and also they all sleep together crammed into a small room on one bed. AITA for thinking its unhealthy for the kid and unfair to me? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
WvD0A5vay2nZ2WykcAthIrvRCNwjtyKH | b4n6xe | {
"description": "sticking up for my siblings if my parents are being unreasonable with them",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA when I stick up for my siblings if my parents are being unreasonable with them? | I am currently living in a step-family. There is me, my mum, my step-dad, my two stepsisters and my little brother. I am the oldest child in the household and always voice my opinion when I feel like the parents are being unreasonable with my siblings.
They always yell at me when I try to stick up for them(only when I think they are being unreasonable) but I think that they need to be told they are being unreasonable.
I don’t feel like my mum is fair to my step sisters and I feel like she babies my little brother (he’s 9) and never tells him off but she is always telling my step sisters off for the smallest of things. This is when I say something.
For example, my step-sister came home yesterday really excited because she had just learned a new skill is trampolining and told everyone. My mum didn’t sound excited whatsoever for her and said “what do you want, a medal?”.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CrNWHwdEfOjBxPX16VuoekuIlcAsxxsy | b90cu5 | {
"description": "making my friend cry over school work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making my friend cry over school work ? | (Sorry for the format, I'm on mobile) I've always been very close to my friend (let's call her Louise for the sake of privacy) since the beginning of the last school year. We spent lots of awesome moments together, and lots of laughs, although sometimes, I feel like she does take me for granted. For example, she once called me in a panick because she needed a place to stay at night, and kindly agreed. Then, the next day, she tried negotiating for another free day at my place. I refused. But today, we had some work to do together in class, and when I turned to her and asked her to start, she just sighed and said: "Ugh, this is pissing me off, I don't give a shit". Probably meaning 'do it for me'. Now, I'm that kind of person who always does the work, because I just hate arguing for nothing. I told her that she had to try at least. She refused, and replied that she didn't ask to be there or with me. Of course, I got a bit offended, and replied that neither did I. She then left the class to go to the bathroom, supposedly to cry. We haven't talked since. Am I the asshole ?
(tl;dr: AITA for refusing to do my friend's work for her and making her cry ?) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
G0esxvfh52oRRQqaaHviaVs9FtPgmKII | aap5in | {
"description": "wanting to put a hiatus on my veganism because my mental health isn't doing so hot",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to put a hiatus on my veganism because my mental health isn't doing so hot? | To be terribly honest, I'm not doing wonderfully, mental heath wise. I'm frazzled, what with the holidays, family issues, being disabled and feeling utterly useless, etc. Veganism, while I enjoy it, expends a lot of my energy; I feel massive guilt wanting to put it aside. I suffer from MDD, among other things. I just want to be happy. I just want to fucking be happy.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
23JHVlvJbetBymX7fv0hayO8J0KfoTyD | alhbw5 | {
"description": "no longer communicating with my grandparents after the refused to temporarily house me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for no longer communicating with my grandparents after the refused to temporarily house me. | This happened in 2016. I had just moved to California with my ex gf. We lived in an apartment together and I worked full time. When we broke up I had no savings and nowhere to live. I was living paycheck to paycheck since moving to San Diego. Well I lived in my jeep for a few weeks refusing to move back to Texas (where im originally from). It just so happens that my grandparents live about 10 miles from where I work. I always got along really well with them and considered them my favorite grandparents. So I took them out to eat and told them what happened and what ive been going through. I explained that I work full time and being homeless is actually kind of expensive and its causing troubles saving money. I asked if they would let me live with them for 30 days while I get myself situated. They have a 4 bedroom home and live alone. I offered to pay rent. They refused. I haven't really talked to them since because I feel like family wouldn't do that.
​
AITI for no longer talking to them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
2TfByKYP6oibQTOC4UWkZ6aW0IVpepnJ | ba00bv | {
"description": "ratting out on a cheater in my Calculus class",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For ratting out on a cheater in my Calculus class? | So, my class had a quiz on derivatives today in Calculus, a quiz that was probably the hardest one Ive written yet. I stayed up til 1:30 amish trying to study for it. While Im writing, I notice a kid I kind of know using his calculator and talking to the person in front of him during the quiz (its a no-calculator quiz). I was pretty pissed off cuz he was doing it over and over as well, so I wrote down "(Cheater) is cheating" on my quiz and went up pretending to ask the teacher a question. While I was asking, I pointed to what I wrote, and the first thing my teacher did was read it out loud.
"(Cheater) is cheating".
My heart sank immediately, and I knew he definitely heard cuz my teacher said it fairly loudly, and his name being in the message likely caught his attention. I don't think my teacher meant to read it out on purpose cuz he probably didnt know it was supposed to be for his eyes/ears only. He just said "Yeah, I know" which made it worse, so I just went back and sat down. The cheater was staring at me right after, and now I feel like shit. He is Chinese as well, and he's connected to a whole group of Chinese kids that are known for cheating (since they can whisper in mandarin so the teacher doesnt understand if he hears), so Im probably gunna be getting glares from that group in the hallways for the rest of my high school career. I'm not sure what I did was right or wrong, but I have little respect for chronic cheaters so it felt right at the time. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR - Gave note to teacher telling him somebody was cheating, teacher read it out loud alerting the cheater that I was snitching on him, and he and his entire group probably hates me now. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
EOdJcYQmV8i8KRXFZNlEBtIP2E1hCtLo | 9zuxml | {
"description": "ignoring someone for \"creepy\" behavior",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ignoring someone for "creepy" behavior? | This occurred earlier today. I was at Overpriced Coffee Shop, sitting in an arc of four sofa chairs. There's another person sitting to my right, leaving the chairs at the ends of the arc empty. There were plenty of tables empty elsewhere in the shop.
I was listening to an audio book AND very obviously actively engaged in a mobile game (phone screen can be seen by everyone at a glance) when a man sits down to my left. He immediately tries to converse with me. I didn't hear him at first, but I eventually catch sight of the orientation of his body and that he's gesturing at me. I discreetly lower the volume on my book. He's trying to ask me about the weather.
I got a weird feeling. I justified it then by telling myself that a stranger trying so hard to get another stranger's attention about the weather is being weird, especially when one party is otherwise distracted. Now I'm not sure.
Was I an asshole for ignoring him?
We did end up in the same Hospitality Grocery Store an hour later. Again, I had my earphones in. Again, he tried to engage me. This time, he physically got in my way, so I couldn't just pretend he wasn't there. When I took out my earphones, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him to leave me alone. I feel justified in *that* course of action.
I'm unsure of my actions in Overpriced Coffee Shop, though.
TL;DR Stranger tries really hard to get me talking while I'm listening to audio book. I ignore him because I thought he was behaving strangely. Was I being the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Hp7CCo6pTu53B1wea9slJejdVXecf1vu | a4o4qo | {
"description": "dating my ex-bestfriend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA? I’m dating my ex-bestfriend’s ex | Long story, don’t judge without reading the whole thing
Some background info into this friendship first:
Last year I had this best friend who I was constantly there for, no matter what. We saw each other almost everyday, because we were taking some of the same classes. We were honestly really great friends and we were like “platonic soulmates”
When we had been friends for about a year, and she started turning on me. She started saying I was a lesbian and I was coming onto her, which I was not, and I am not. I tried resolving the situation and eventually I did, but our friendship wasn’t the same.
Later, I had an issue that was really bothering me and I wanted to talk to her about it, because she was the only one I felt that I could talk to, but she ran away from me. Literally, turned around and ran when I tried to walk up to her.
Onto the main issue:
My friend had started talking with this older guy, and invited him over to her house when she was home alone and they had sex. She felt really guilty and told me about it, and I supported her through everything she went through with him when she broke up with him. (She was waiting for marriage, and all her family would have put her down for just giving herself away like that)
A few weeks after she told me they had sex, she told me that they did it without a condom. She quickly followed that statement up with the fact that she didn’t consent to it. I told her she was raped, and offered to talk to her parents/police with her but she wouldn’t do anything.
I had a talk with the guy she accused, telling him he was a rapist and she never wanted to see or hear from him again, in not so nice terms. He was very offended that he was accused of rape and tried to tell me his side of the story, but I wouldn’t listen.
A few months down the road, my friend told me she had lied about being raped. She said she didn’t want anyone to look at her any differently. I was completely ashamed that I had just believed her and accused the guy that I didn’t even know of something so horrible that he hadn’t even done, so I reached out to him to apologize. We got to talking and I realized he was actually a really great guy who needed a friend. I became a good friend to him.
During this time, I was still friends with my friend, but we weren’t good friends. After the classes were over, I texted her and told her I was through trying to be there for her when she wouldn’t be there for me. I also let her know that I was this guys friend, and I was sorry she had accused him of something he hadn’t done because he was actually a really decent guy.
Fast forward a couple months, I realize how compatible this guy and I are. We start dating, and he is nothing but a gentleman. He wouldn’t even kiss me until I kissed him, and I had to reassure him that I wanted to. He’s been nothing but a gentleman with me and I fell in love. I told my then ex-bestfriend that I was dating him and I loved him, and she got really mad at me and started harassing me and him and trying to break us up.
It’s been a while since then, but since I’ve found this subreddit I thought I should find out from y’all, was I in the wrong in this situation? I know the whole thing about never dating your best friends ex, but with the situation it didn’t seem as bad? I don’t know, y’all tell me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
RZoAHDEHoXo135uWAjMzLZJTLBoO9rvc | b38flj | {
"description": "putting my garbage bags in my neighbors garbage bin",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for putting my garbage bags in my neighbors garbage bin? | I was on the phone with my best friend as I was bringing in my garbage bins from the curb. Two bins, one for garbage, and one for recycle. These are the big, plastic 40-gallon bins that make it easy for the garbage crew to dump the contents into the open top of the truck.
I put the recycle bin back into my yard, and went back to go bring the garbage bin. When I pulled it back towards the curb, it hadn’t yet been emptied.
Some background: I leave my bins out next to my other neighbors’ bins, sort of small convenience for the garbage crew- they only have to make the one stop for 4 of the houses that comprise the cul-de-sac.
Rather than leave my bin there and come back later, I checked my neighbor’s bin, and saw that he had practically nothing in it. I transferred my own 4 full garbage bags into his bin, and started to haul mine back to my yard.
I narrated this to my friend as I was doing it.
He told me to stop, and told me that I was being an asshole for doing that. He said it would be better if I just go back and get the bin after it is emptied, like everyone else.
A bit more background: I live in a HOA neighborhood, where part of the dues we pay goes towards garbage removal. Other than the HOA dues, or if you want large pick-up on day that isn’t already designated for large pick up (they do this twice per year), we do not pay for garbage removal. Even if we did, my neighbor’s one big bin wasn’t even 1 quarter of the way full, as we have weekly pickup, and my bags filled his to about 3 quarters full.
I relayed this information to my friend, and he still said, “Call it what you want, but you’re still an asshole.”
My issue is that my friend was so adamant that I was an asshole, and in fact ended the call very abruptly as soon as I refused to do what he must have felt was the right thing. I later talked to my wife about it, and she said she didn’t see it. Thinking back on it, we came up with the idea that, had the garbage not been picked up that day, my neighbor would be inconvenienced the extra trash in his bin that I put there. It was a moot point, however, since the garbage bins were picked up later. I saw the truck pass on my doorbell video when the motion alert came up (big trucks always trigger the motion alert).
I intend to call my friend back and chat it out with him, but this is pretty late for him, and it’s on my mind, so I figured I would ask and get some perspective.
 
TL; DR: My friend thinks I am an asshole for putting my garbage in my neighbor’s nearly-empty bin so that I didn’t have to go back and get the bin after it was collected later on that day.
What do you think, AITA’ers? Am I an asshole for putting my garbage bags in my neighbors garbage bin? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
JPVzPpOdXIlIHdr3JgymvuuImKSoD6d2 | aq56gw | {
"description": "not wanting to donate to charity through my employer",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to donate to charity through my employer | So my employer wants our office of 12 people to donate to charity so we can “give back to our community”. While this is a donation on behalf of our business it will be funded by employees out of our own pockets, the business itself is not contributing anything. To be clear, I have no issue donating to charity and do make a yearly contribution to a cause I believe in. My reservation is that I am basically being peer pressured into making this donation whether I really want to or not. It was suggested in a staff meeting with everyone present which made it very difficult to say no. It also bothers me that the business will essentially be taking credit for the donation which to me seems like it’s more about making the business look good as opposed to donating to a charity because you believe in the cause and want to support it. For context it’s not a lot of money, $60 each, but for me that’s not the point. AITA for not wanting to make a donation in this way and for feeling like my employer is essentially peer pressuring its employees to donate to charity? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Fbx704wXtqxoxMiIDnPtDvee6dcvh9l7 | ashmtu | {
"description": "allowing one classmate to be transphobic toward another even though I am also trans",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for allowing one classmate to be transphobic toward another even though I am also trans? | One of my mutual acquaintances and I are taking the same class this semester. A transgirl sits next to me.
Acquaintance (as well as the class) doesn't know I'm a closeted trans guy. Because we agree on some things politically, he felt comfortable venting to me about her.
He said a bunch of transphobic things like that she was being too obvious about her status, and that her correcting the teacher was "unnecessary", but the worst of them was when he called her "it".
I tried to steer him gently away from saying that stuff, arguing that I have gained a lot of compassion for the struggle of trans people. But I didn't outright defend her or tell him to stop.
I didn't want him to suspect me, so she got misgendered. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
r0WYpIRoOPY5O6KvPt4g4kouOypF0xXa | aqe87g | {
"description": "not apologizing to my friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not apologizing to my friend? | So this happened just a few hours ago:
My high school sweetheart and I have been dating for 4 years, we go to the same college (she's an accountant and I'm in nursing school ) and both work so finding time to hang out is pretty tought. I bartend Thursday nights so we decided to go on a date today as a little Valentine's Day thing.
The owners of the restaurant I work at own 2 more locations and I recommended a friend (we'll call him Nick) who desperately needed a job. He got promoted to bartender a few weeks ago and I believe he has been working on his own (without a "trainer") for a good while.
We're on our date and "Nick" texts me that there's a situation at work and he needs my help... the rest is in the picture
http://imgur.com/gallery/kXA2mdt
So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
4DupQVVAUtRJd3qAoRztDYhFMlqe96hF | a40tzy | {
"description": "getting angry at my friends being pathetic",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting angry at my friends being pathetic? | Its just a short one, some of my friends are true pushovers, I think they live in the fetal position at all times. Am I an asshole for getting wound up at that? I vent at my girlfriend alot and she tells me to just get over it, but I cant. Don't know what it is but I feel the need to shake them and wake them up when they do it. I don't want to go into specifics, just in general is my question I guess.
This post is quite rambly because I'm wound up at the moment haha, my girlfriend thinks it's a problem. Would this annoy you? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
QQYgsFr27DeD1BK0taHyqe2weKPLWv2B | a5r3yl | {
"description": "lying about an allergy at a restaurant and ending up at the emergency room",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 461
} | AITA for lying about an allergy at a restaurant and ending up at the emergency room? | I met this girl on Tinder and we really hit it off. I asked her out on a date to a cozy restaurant in our small town (Gainesville, FL).
I had to take the bus there (my moped broke down last week which is another story of its own) and she lived close the restaurant so it was convenient.
The date was going ok. It was kind of awkward at first because we just talked about the cold weather for 5 minutes -- so I decided to break the tension. A while ago, I heard about a life pro-tip where if you order French fries at a restaurant without salt, they have to make a fresh batch for you. I've been to this restaurant before and the guac is really good on some days and ok on other days.
When the waitress came in, we ordered chips and guac. I then asked the waitress, "Does the Guac have onions?" To which she responded, "Yes, it does". I then proceeded to tell her, "I have an extremely severe allergy to onions, can we get guac with no onions?" I told her I have an extremely severe allergy so she doesn't just take the guac they currently have and remove the onions; this forces them to make a fresh batch from scratch. After the waitress left, my date asked me, "are you really allergic?" To which I said "no :D, but this way, we get fresh guac". She was pretty impressed like "damn, I'm stealing this one". When the guac came in, I asked her to give us onions on the side for my date.
The rest of the date went well. We ordered some drinks first and then food later. What I forgot to do when I was ordering food was to tell her not to put any onions in my food. When I got my dish, I took about 2-3 bites and the waitress came running to me frantically saying that there are onions in the food!! She thought it was her fault for not mentioning it to the chefs. I didnt know how to react so I just kind of dropped the food from my mouth and into the plate. Her superior walks in during this time and he's asking if everything is ok so I tell him that I forgot to mention not to put onions and that I have a severe allergy.
The first thing the manager does is apologize profusely and then ask if he should call an ambulance.
(Side note: I don't have any allergies at all and neither does anyone in my family or any of my friends. I have no idea what a severe allergic response looks like, but I know that it like swells up your face and for some reason, I thought it makes you cough a lot, I don't know why I thought that.)
Cutscene to now: I start kind of coughing, but assure him that everything is going to be fine. I tell him, "I barely got any onions in the bite". My date at this time went from kind of giggling a bit (when the waitress came in) to just straight up serious after all the attention just turned to us. I told them not to worry about calling an ambulance, and that I'm okay enough to go to the emergency room myself. I asked for the check but they insisted on me not paying. (Not like we ate anyway) but I still left a $20 for the waitress and assured her and the manager that it was only my fault and not the waitresses fault at all.
After leaving, my date was half-wtf and half-laughing at the stupidity of this whole thing. I shot my shot and asked her if she'd just like to grab pizza over at her place, but she said she has to study. Now it is important to note that the bus stop where I grab my bus to go home is RIGHT OPPOSITE THE RESTAURANT. I'm sitting there looking at cats fetching stuff on Reddit when the supervisor pulls up in his car at the stop. He thinks that I am taking the bus to the emergency room.
He kept insisting that he drop me to the emergency room. He felt responsible and didnt want anything to happen to me. I finally gave up and told him , "Okay". In my head, I thought I'd just let him drop me there and then I'll take an uber back home. However, we get there AND HE WANTS TO COME IN TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS OK. I'm like hey man, trust me, IM OKAY. Nothing is going to happen to me. You can leave. It was so awkward. We were parked and he kept asking if I'm sure and I'm like yes I'm sure don't worry, please leave you dont have to come in with me.
At the end he said he'd just walk me in, use the restroom and leave. We walk in the emergency room and I'm the only person there. Great. I had to walk to the nurse and tell her that I might be having a slight allergic reaction. Supervisor uses the restroom and asks again if everything is fine and I'm like yes, everything is going to be okay. "Thank you so much for everything." He gives me his number and tells me to inform him once I'm out.
Here I am. A healthy 25 year old adult. Having to pay $500 to visit a fucking emergency room for no fucking reason: http://imgur.com/tfU3k5g
Another nurse came up to me to take my vitals and the doctor asked what was wrong and I had to sheepishly tell him, "I think I might have been having an allergic reaction". He says, "Are you allergic to anything?" And I go "No".
He gave me a benadryl and sent me out. I then spent another $25 to Uber home. I told what happened to my friend and she said I was the worst kind of asshole. I learned my lesson and will never pretend to have an allergy, but I don't think I was an asshole because I did try to avoid as much confrontation as possible, and even ensured the waitress and supervisor that it was all my fault. Sorry for the long text, but AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 460,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 45,
"WRONG": 461
} | WRONG |
nnbL15fiz8qT9OEC7CAHLc1gk3Z6hbAk | axiwy0 | {
"description": "having my friend moved in class",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for having my friend moved in class? | So, I'm in high school. I have this one guy I've been friends with for quite a few years. He's always been very religious, to the point he pleaded with me not to be "too gay" when I came out. Whatever that was four years ago, people change.
Regardless of his religion, he has some mildly annoying quirks. Pretends to play the piano in class, sometimes hums and sings, never directly asks for help and copies other peoples' work instead, that sort of stuff that is just enough to annoy you but not really good enough to confront him. He also has very little social awareness, doesn't really know when someone doesn't want to talk or wants to end a conversation. There have been a few occasions where he's touched me, which has always been a thing I object to with just about everyone (I've always valued personal space pretty heavily).
A few weeks ago, his behaviours got worse. The only class I have with him is maths, which I also share with a close female friend. I have no idea how the conversation started between the two, but they ended up talking about religion. Said female friend and I are both atheists, which he knows, but nonetheless, he preached to her for what was probably at least half an hour. The end of the speech ended with something about saving her and included an invitation to his church, which she declined.
Ever since then, his behaviours that used to bug us a bit have become way worse. He provides unsolicited advice, explains concepts to us we already understand and just generally is more of a distraction in class than anything. As my female friend sits next to him, she takes more than I do, but we're both at the point of wanting to move away from him. We've been discussing asking the teacher to rearrange the class seating so we don't have to be near him, but when I bring it up to other friends who aren't in the class they say I'm being too hard on him. I don't want to confront him directly to avoid anyone being alienated or feeling unwanted. So, WIBTA for doing this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ulf25lvRpe6C8MVcLtFBL4SMPuU1HBa2 | anakx6 | {
"description": "not scolding my 7 year old for swearing",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not scolding my 7 year old for swearing? | First post, so I’m sorry for bad formatting. My wife and I were heading to bed, and went to tell our son to brush his teeth and go to bed as well.
As we headed down the hallway, we saw our son with his back turned to the door playing with a tall block structure. When suddenly, it falls over, he immediately whispers “aw shit.”
My wife quickly began motioning for me to go in their with a scowl on her face. I on the other hand, was grinning.
We both mutually decided to head to our bedroom to discuss first before we go into our sons room. Since it would’ve been conflicting stances and would most likely make my wife look bad because I would be on his side.
Here’s our conversation, it’s not exact but it’s fresh in my mind.
Wife: Why were you smiling? We shouldn’t let him swear, we aren’t trying to teach him bad manners.
Me: He never swears in front of us ever. If we barged in and scolded him right then and there, he would be startled and be reluctant to just leave the door open in the future.
Wife: That’s kind of a stretch, we would be teaching him it’s okay to swear in private. We don’t want him to be saying this in school and get in trouble by his teachers.
Me: Whats wrong with that? He’s not swearing excessively, this is the first time we’ve heard it. That’s what kids do, we swore when we were younger and we’re fine.
Wife: I don’t know, there’s no point in scolding him anymore. I’m going to bed.
Me: Alright, I’ll help him get ready for bed.
My wife was angry afterwards I could tell, not a ton, but more like frustrated. I’m pretty sure I’m in the right here, we’re doing great in general though.
This wasn’t a huge fight and I know we’ll make amends tomorrow. Just wanted to know if you wise Redditors have any advice or feedback so I can apologize where it’s due.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
YbOVaoveW5MaYMOnCpqzU6oaLwi5mRq7 | aqtck8 | {
"description": "unintentionally cutting off contact with a lot of people",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for unintentionally cutting off contact with a lot of people? | In high school I went through a rough patch but before my senior year started, I moved across the country. After about a week or so I just stopped talking to them because it is hard to keep up contact with a lot of people when you move far away. Now, here’s where it gets murky:
I don’t really regret cutting off contact with them, and I did not regret it at the time either. I’ve moved 15+ times in 18 years, so friendships dying off is normal, except I definitely needed my friends from a year ago when I was going through that rough time, and I feel like I should have continued our friendships because they tried to help me through that time in my life.
No one actually called me out for being an asshole, but I guess when I see people talk about ghosting others I kind of feel like that’s what I did, intentionally or otherwise. Thanks! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
l0Y6RY8zDar1U1bhga4dzApiRhkQhLNF | ahe5tb | {
"description": "ignoring my pregnant \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring my pregnant "friend" | I feel guilty for ignoring her but over the past few months Ive been increasingly irritated with her and how she treats me. We had a bit of a falling out and Ive had no interest in rekindling any type of friendship with her but shes been trying to reach out again. I don't think I over reacted but I feel bad because she's pregnant.
​
This situation starts back in July, my mom passed and I was doing so much to organize her funeral while I was also already moving. Now my mom and I did not have a good relationship by a long stretch and she didn't get along well with people so...I didn't expect many people to show anyway. I did however believe my friend who I will be calling Karen was going to be there she said as much right up to the day of the funeral only to have her call less than half an hour before hand that she wouldn't be coming as she was tired (I understand, she had told me that she was a month or two pregnant days prior so I wasn't going to make a thing out of it).
​
We used to talk every few days but when I would message her it would go unanswered about 2/3 of the time. Even then I didn't let it get to me, shes going through huge changes shes stressed and all. but then when we would talk she would more and more often just start conversations like she had already told me other pertinent information. I'd say no we didn't and shed start insisting we did even though she could look back and she in our messages that she clearly didn't and she hasn't spoken to me over the phone in months. She just laughs it off and continues but I hate when this happens. It feels as if she's mistaking me with her an imaginary friend version of myself or something. I get that shes busy and I'm not trying to say she need to spend more time with me I just want to feel like we both see the friendship the same way.
​
The falling out was over her tying to get me take in her new cat that wasn't getting along with her dog. First I was annoyed because after about two weeks of messaging her and not hearing back she suddenly has a huge message for me about how she cant keep that cat it doesn't get along with the dog but hey I love cats so I'll take it in right. After a lot of clarification because even on this she insisted that she already told me the cat wasn't getting along with the dog. I said if she could line up another home for it I can take care of the cat until then so it wouldn't be so stressed with the dog, as the conversation goes on it comes out shes done nothing to actually help them get along just lock the cat away in the room all day then let the dog in there at night so now the poor things too scared to leave under her bed. I was so bloody pissed at this point that, that is even how she was taking care of the cat. I just told her i had to head out but i would take the cat (didn't want it to have to stay like that).
​
Next day I try to talk to her, nothing give it another day and message her again still nothing. Oh at this point its probably important to add that she was also expecting me to make a cake for her baby shower (Shaped like an elephant and big enough o feed 20 people. For Free) Id been having some money trouble and since we hardly talked I never had the ability to tell her about this and now its a few weeks away i cant get a hold of her to tell her I cant afford to make this thing. (Plus baby shower gift with everything on her registry being $50+) I contact another friend of her who was doing the shower planning to let them know. And what do ya know Karen is suddenly able to message me again.
​
Karen: Heyy sorry for lateness. So our last conversation rubbed me the wrong way. lol it just frustrated me that i was constantly being interrupted which led to me sidetracking the initial story. Anyways i wanted a few days to cool down. I'm sorry for ignoring you, i love you! I hope your doing well
​
me: i know i can interrupt a bit sometimes but its really hard to have a conversation when it seem like your telling a story from the middle, some interrupting began to feel necessary for context. then you say how you thought we talked about something already. almost every time we talk at all that happens. i Know your busy and with good reason, there's a lot going on but every time that happens it feels like I'm not even a real person in your life.
​
Karen: Now if you don't bother to listen long enough to anything of course your going to feel like your not getting all of the story...i don't want to turn this into an argument, i just wanted to let you know how i was feeling. Im sorry you feel like Ive kept you so out of the loop, i can understand why. Its been difficult to keep in touch with everyone and i appreciate your patience. I don't have any set plans to be at moms this coming week but i will be over there at some point in the week, could we have a much needed hangout?
​
I didn't respond to that and a couple days later I realized that she blocked me on fb. I was so upset, she told me how she was feeling, and that's fine but if i say how Ive been feeling then its suddenly a problem and "she doesn't want to start an argument". About a week or two after that she calls.
​
Karen: ill be in the area tomorrow mind if i stop by tomorrow afternoon i want to smooth this over?
Me:Ill be home just let me know before you stop by.
​
The next day I'm waiting, and waiting nothing by 4pm I assume she isn't coming or forgot or some shit. Then I get a call at 7pm!
​
Karen: Is 8 to late to stop by?
me: That's probably the broadest take on afternoon I've ever head.
Karen: Yeah that was poor judgment on my part, when are you free this week.
​
That was on December 9th, after that I just ignored her, I just couldn't care. But then this morning shes calling me again, I didn't answer and she left a text asking to stop by.
​
Shes ready to pop levels of pregnant now and I feel like its just her pregnancy that I feel guilty about this at all but I don't know... AITA
​
tldr- Pregnant friend says she would go to my moms funeral flakes day of, and hardly responds to messages. Seems to have an imaginary friend of myself or something as nearly every conversation has her saying several times "really I'm sure i told you about this" I finally got pissed about how she was treating her cat and had just had it. she calls wants to come over to work things out, we make plans and she doesn't show and doesn't call until hours later. i haven't talked to her since
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pJbpKkY6ULO2wAdnE0vh738tA8szFM7Z | ar0zof | {
"description": "contemplating taking food from a food bank to help expenses while not being technically starving/homeless",
"pronormative_score": 134,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for contemplating taking food from a food bank to help expenses while not being technically starving/homeless? | I currently work a low-paying job and live with my aunt. I would not call us "starving", but we frequently try to creatively stretch our paycheck to try to stock up on food. There are some days where we don't have anything lying around to eat so we try to creatively use leftover meats and cook rice to make makeshift meals.
I've been considering going to a food bank as that would make a huge difference. Mainly so we have canned food or snacks lying around, but I'm not sure if this is appropriate since I'm not starving or homeless. We CAN get more food if we want to, but that would mean we would have to reduce another expense (and we live pretty cheaply).
If it means anything, I'm also overweight (I eat a lot of rice/beans lol) and I'm not sure if it'll look like I'm just there at the food bank because I'm a pig and want free food.
AITA if I go to a food bank? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 79,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 55,
"INFO": 6
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 134,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
gpBBIL9qkj8vnWPc8UoDzmYpj9jNAPfM | atry7b | {
"description": "not wanting to cuddle with my husband at bedtime",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to cuddle with my husband at bedtime? | So, my SO has a horrible snoring problem. It’s so loud you can hear it in the apartment next door. He most likely has sleep apnea but won’t go to the doctor (believe me, I’ve tried!) because he doesn’t like the idea of having to use a cpap machine and he’s afraid of whatever other possible illnesses the doctor might find.
He wants to cuddle every night, which is fine. But like 2 minutes in, he starts snoring. It’s starts off as a low rumble and gradually becomes a grizzly bear roar. Right. In. My. Ear.
When this happens, I try to turn over but then he wakes up and gets mad because we’ve only been cuddling 5 minutes, tops. He knows he snores loud. I’ve explained how it’s in my ear and very annoying, but he still insists.
I have to sleep with ear plugs in to even fall asleep. I buy the ones that are supposed to block out most sound, but I can still hear him. I’ve tried wearing them while cuddling, but since my ears are so close to his mouth, it’s still too loud.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qqQxgdIBr6EfZdI1lihFrmYzLWPazc2f | 9x1y6l | {
"description": "throwing out my flatmate's alcohol",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for throwing out my flatmate's alcohol? | I have been living in a student shared flat for about two and a half months now and There's eight of us total. One of the flatmates, Tim, never cleans up after himself. We've asked several times for him to clean up but he never does.
Even when he's thrown parties at our flat, everyone else cleans up after him (including my gf on a few occasions, who doesn't even live in the flat). This pattern has been going on for about two and a half months.
A few days ago, I threw away some alcohol (a quarter of a bottle of wine and a few cups of vodka between two different bottles) and some expired food that had been out for several days in direct sunlight. I decided to pour out the alcohol and put the bottles by the trashcan.
Today he asked me to pay him back almost full price for two of the bottles and full price for one of the bottles and for the expired food.
Am I the asshole? He has never cleaned before despite us asking and I was also very angry that my gf helped a few times. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2n6bnoKXEMy1ZXi7xZux2E10pnz5V5JX | b2o52a | {
"description": "ignoring my father for months after a fight we had",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring my father for months after a fight we had? | Hi Reddit, on mobile sorry for formatting. Long time lurker, first time poster to this sub. Sorry for the wall of text, backstory is needed.
So like the title says, my father and I got into a huge fight a couple months back. Things have always been rocky between us ever since I was around 11 or 12, because he’s always had terrible anger issues and I started dealing with depression and anxiety at a young age because of it. I started letting my grades slip and started not wanting to do any kind of work in school and at that point my father thought that I was a complete failure and would be no more than a "lying, conniving fox". Thing is, because of his anger, I would lie and hide things from him. Wouldn't any normal child do the same? Knowing that your parent would go off on you. Things got worse and worse to the point that he started beating me. I remember very vividly one time he grabbed me by my hair, was dragging me around the floor and threw me against the wall.
Fast forward to fight. My dad had gotten mad when he picked up my daughter from pre-k and thought he saw my ex's name on the box where it's signed who dropped her off in the morning. (Whole other story, but he's not a good person and it's why he's an ex now) I know for a fact that I dropped her off. He insisted he saw another name. I started getting upset because I KNEW I was innocent, and started yelling at him and letting out how he doesn't trust me from back then and that I have issues because of it, and that I would be seeing a therapist soon because of him. He yelled back at me and was saying "bullshit, there's nothing wrong with you. A therapist won't tell you crap" at this point I'm fuming and am so upset I'm bawling, and start telling my daughter to get in the car and we're leaving. My dad then says "don't you take it out on her, she didn't do anything wrong" to which I said "why? You beat me whenever you were mad at me. She's my daughter, I can discipline her the way I want" (I would never treat her the way he did, I was just so angry) and he said "because you deserved it. You did that shit on your own. You lay a hand on her, I'll call CPS, same way you did on me" (I did call once cause I was bleeding and bruised so bad, but they never did anything) at this point I don't even say anything and leave. The last text I have from him after that fight was Jan. 10. I haven't not spoken to him since, have not seen him and don't go around him anymore.
When I did see my therapist, I told her everything that happened with my father and how it has affected me in that I am terrified of confrontation and someone being upset or mad with me. She ended up diagnosing me with PTSD, anxiety and severe depression. I told my sister who told my mom, who I know told my dad. But he still hasn't said anything to me. I ended up getting a service dog and she's been wonderful, but now I'm starting to doubt myself.
So Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YwPrt2QsrsNfZhNuRmXDhpwiqofVNUBL | ahjjfw | {
"description": "not going to my managers baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For not going to my managers baby shower | Im 17 and my manager is in her mid 20's and shes super cool and we talk and laugh ect, so we have a pretty good relationship. She does with everyone I work with. She got pregnant a while ago and one person I work with decided to have a baby shower for her, for just the people at work. Will call this woman kate. So where I work theres only like 10 people who work there so we're all pretty close so I see why someone would do this. I close the store with Kate pretty often so shes one of the people I know really well. I got to work one day last week and kate told me about this baby shower and told me its on the 27th (a sunday). I said that works because sundays are my free days.
Im a really busy person right now. Im in band and theres a lot of after school ensembles Im in. If you add up work, school, and band, Im busy for 68-70 hours a week. Everyday (except sunday) is a 9 or 12 hour day. Sundays are my "free days" but I still got work for 5 hours on sundays. Sundays are the days I get to relax. But I also do chores on sundays. I don't really have a lot of free time and its been like this since November and it'll finally be over in April. Then Ill just have school and work which will be like 50 hours. And if it was April Id be down for this baby shower but I look forward to my sundays where I get an extra hour of sleep and I get to play video games.
The baby shower is at 1pm and I guess I could wake up at like 10 and get my chores done in like an hour. I gotta be back at work at 4:30 and I don't know when this baby shower is gonna be over.
Idk just Im just so busy right now and its super overwhelming, especially since I never did much of anything a year ago. I would just go to school and come home and play video games for 10 hours then play video games all weekend. Finding time right now is super difficult. But I think everyone at work is going to this and Id feel like an asshole being the only one not going
TL;DR lm really busy and dont have a lot of free time and I got invited to a baby shower that everyone I work with is gonna be at and I really just don't wanna go | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8hA5Xv5bNjfXYgLU5vUypSXvLUYRroH1 | b5jl2w | {
"description": "not wanting to give in to a greedy person",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to give in to a greedy person? | Background: We've been friends for almost a year now. We started hanging out thanks to a mutual friend who brought us both out one night. Then we hung out at least 3 times a week. They started dating someone and started to change, they were spending all of their time with them and completely blew me off.
Fast forward to this month, a trip had been planned months in advance and was happening no matter what. I convinced myself to stay positive about the situation and give this person a real chance on this trip. We get on the plane, no surprises so far. The person begins to do little petty things there, but I continued to ignore them and make the best of it. The last day comes and we head off to turn in the rental car, which is where the disaster starts.
We go up to the desk after the car was checked, I'm thinking everything is good and looking forward to getting on the plane home asap. Some papers got screwed so we ended up with a bill that was a $100 more than originally quoted. I told my friend that they should just dispute it with their credit card company, no sense in going back and forth with the people at the desk.
As we're walking away from the desk, their face gets bright red. They whip around, immediately blaming me for screwing up, even though the fault didn't fall on either of us. They storm off, which is fine; I'm not going to deal with their hysterics. They text and call their s/o the entire time, ignoring me. The plane home is full. I find two seats next to each other, gesturing for us to sit, my friend says they would rather sit elsewhere and proceed past me.
Here's the dilemma:
This person requested half of the money for the car rental from me before we had even gotten a seat near the terminal, and they requested way more than the car rental had amounted to. I ignored this request and gave them half of what they had been charged on their card, which is what I had agreed to pay. They requested $255 from me, as my half, when the car rental only came to $418, meaning that I would only owe them $209 instead of the $255 that they're upcharging me for. I sent them the $209 and explained that we could discuss the rest after the credit card company decided on what they are going to do with the disputed amount, which had not been charged yet. So this person has been on my ass about the difference between the amounts, which is $46.
​
\*\*Everything on the trip had been paid for for this person, they did NOT pay for their hotel, their park tickets, any parking, a few meals, and did not ONCE say thank you for any of it.\*\*
​
I think that this whole thing is a shame because we had such a great friendship, but I don't think I should back down after everything I've done for them and pay them an extra $46 after they hadn't paid for anything else.
I would love to hear any/all thoughts/advice on this, and if you have any questions or need anything clarified please ask! | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
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"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QxO4VtjUtcFFr32YbdLS7hthINwDoJte | 9zjo8b | {
"description": "my friend getting his shoes dirty",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for my friend getting his shoes dirty? | We're a group of friends from high school, now in college. Every now and then we hike up a local hill as a meetup. One of the friends, let's call him "James" has a penchant for luxury goods like watches, clothes, etc. This will tie in to the story later.
I organized for us to meet again last saturday. James was hesitant at first because it had rained the previous day. I thought he was just trying to dodge so I called him a pussy for being afraid of the rain. After some heckling, he agreed to go with us.
The hike was great, we had drinks at the top and proceeded to return down. When we got to our cars he completely flipped out about how his 200$ shoes are destroyed because of the mud. I told him that he should have worn something else, but all our other friends agreed with him in saying it's my fault. We have not spoken since.
I feel kinda bad because I heckeled him into coming with us. Is it really my fault for destroying his expensive shoes? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
RtwZSWX1R29ZxJVnFIrQyRNnHZJPOjfa | at9oln | {
"description": "wanting my so to do one feeding a day for ouro old",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my SO to do one feeding a day for our 5mo old? | SO works nights. Goes in in the late afternoon and gets out between 2-4am most days. Our baby is 5mo old and she pretty much sleeps through the night. She went to bed at 11pm last night which is early for her. She usually sleeps like 2am-2pm (she is too young to sleep train yet). So she fell asleep before her bedtime bottle and wasn't in an overnight diaper just a regular diaper. I figured she'd wake up around the time he got home. He seemed okay with the possibility of feeding her when he got home last night when I talked to him like an hour before he got home. I was asleep when he got home at 3:30/4am. She ended up waking up at 7am and he was still awake. As he puts it he was just getting sleepy and ready to try going to sleep.
We each wanted the other to do the feeding. I was asleep and he woke me up telling me I needed to feed her. I stood my ground that he should do it because he was actually awake and he should do at least one feeding a day. He still thinks I was wrong and heartless to make him feed her this morning. It was 10 hours before he had to be at work and she slept practically until he left for work only waking once more at 11 at which time I got up and fed her careful not to wake him. I am not back to work yet because we've been down to one car but I just feel like one feeding a day isn't too much to ask. Usually his one feeding a day is around 2pm when she first wakes up and he is fine doing it but last night she woke up and it was unfortunate for everyone.
Am I the asshole for making him feed her this morning? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9lBXC5EorM8uMqZG42KceWJ78CjISlB7 | b1ymil | {
"description": "suggesting no kids allowed to a surprise 30 year old birthday",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA when I suggest no kids allowed to a surprise 30 year old birthday? | So here’s the deal. The birthday coming up is for my roommate and long time friend, who I know doesn’t like kids because she’s confided that to me. She doesn’t want kids of her own and says that she even has a hard time with her friends’ kids, even though she politely says to their parents that she likes them. So the people planning the party all day “ well she loves my kid because that’s what she told me.”, while she tells me something else completely. So am I the asshole for suggesting that maybe it should be an adult only party because I know that’s what she would appreciate? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1ksEE0qGQP0Oxi6MzAudEs6w8rjdGuBK | abwiq6 | {
"description": "asking my best friend to stop speaking of another of their friends around me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA If I asked my best friend to stop speaking of another of their friends around me. | So I will start by saying that I am not around my bf at the same time as this friend. In fact my bf, for some reason, has actually said before that she doesn't want to mix her friends which is definitely odd but they won't say why and I know if I push this it will just upset them. Not worth it.
Now for reasons that I'm pretty sure are already asshole and so I don't want to admit, I really dislike this friend. My bf doesn't know that I do, but I dislike them so much that I have a unfair dislike for the company they work for and the place they are from and the people too. Again, my bf doesn't know this.
WIBTA if I found a way to ask my bf to stop talking about them in my presence, and is there a nice way to do this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
hXRb4CwIZgWmrajUGvmlzSj6buesDZ2Z | a6ig6l | {
"description": "letting my friend cheat from my SAT test",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for letting my friend cheat from my SAT test? | My friend tends to rely on me to give him answers on the test but the SAT is a big deal and i am not looking forward to risking my future and my score to help him get somethinghe didnt work hard for yet when i didnt help him he thought i was selfish and got mad at me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XlduchbYaIxWvYQrQ5pL40xdjWNuqGu7 | acylcy | {
"description": "being concerned when my girlfriend posts sexual photos online",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being concerned when my girlfriend posts sexual photos online? | My girlfriend (of a year) has recently started to post quite sexual photos on her instagram and then also replying to comments complimenting her looks (sexually) from other guys, sometimes replying with thanks, but on occasion, for example: ;) or you too. She also messaged quite a few guys who seemingly Pursue her, however, I had no problem with this as I didn’t want to control her. But, after these photos, is this all a huge red flag? I confronted her about it last week and she responded with the classic ‘don’t worry about it’, but the fact it’s only started recently is kind of strange too.
Am I the asshole for being concerned and confronting her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ap8tAXqPrzk4bXLLzJsK75jJSpZz7p8N | ag2b58 | {
"description": "leaving my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For leaving my best friend | Am I the asshole?
So I don't really know how to start this so a little bit of background knowledge
I met this girl in the middle of 8th grade, quite frankly we hated each other but there was still a connection. In ninth grade we talked most every day, we took the bus together and told each other all our problems and just came to be very close friends, considering we're both retarded (not really just really dumb) we end up being together in summer school. We spent every moment of basically every day together. It goes without saying that I fell in love with her and caught hard feelings,
So in Beginning of 11th grade rather the summer leading up to it, I figured I should've just told her and we'll I did just that, she gave me the usual aww and hug and all that, but the next few months were really the problem and even starter basically the next day, so some guy had asked her out that day and she liked him but that want the issue, usually she'd tell me everything but when the guy blocked her for whatever reason she wouldn't tell me a thing and still told me about how the guy was like her perfect match and whatever, but this is only really the beginning, so she introduced me to some teen dating app and of course she was on it too, and she got a lot of guys and girls, the thing that hurt me though was she told me everything, every guy she had been with or was talking to. This one time she got with this guy and on snapchat despite not having talked for a while she had just sent me a Pic of the dude saying that she had just fucked him, and the next 2 or so days texted that I should probably go steal her some plan B. In short the next few months were just her telling me about the dudes she fucked and like her boyfriends and shit. One time I had asked to hang out and come the day tells me that she forgot and made plans with another dude pretty sure he fingered her in the movies, I don't know how I stayed so stuck on this girl but I did.
I blocked her and told her most everything. She said damn she was sorry, a week later I started analyzing things, I had begun to feel guilty I felt that I had left her without knowing her side of the story, I called her on Christmas and told her that and she just made me feel worse, I don't know whether to call her or not
Maybe I didn't give you guys enough information but of what I have was I the asshole?
TL:DR ;Fell in love with my best friend she starts telling me about every guy she's been with, dump her as a friend WITA
Edit: So I ended up talking to her about it and a ton of of other stuff concerning its been a wild week, and though I critisized her for a lot she told me a ton of things about me that even if I'm aware of I haven't changed so I've come to the realization that I didn't give enough information and it turns out that we were both in the wrong and I was as toxic to her for wanting constant attention as possible as she was toxic to me thanks anyways R/aita | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1sWALSdFiYhm5pYLTCJ10J4gZsUjenrI | b4h1ex | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my best friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go to my best friend’s wedding? | One of my closest friends of 10 years, Sarah, is getting married this year.
When Sarah and her partner first got together, there were problems from the get-go. The partner was emotionally abusive and just a downright awful person. Sarah would message me out of nowhere with long rants about their behaviour every few months, sometimes including screenshots where this person had said things to her that were just way out of line. My response was always basically to listen, be there when she needed to vent, and sometimes gently encourage her to walk away.
The thing is, our friendship basically died as soon as they got together. We’ve seen each other face-to-face maybe three times in the past year and a half that they’ve been together. At first I chalked this up to the “honeymoon period”, but later, I think Sarah felt uncomfortable communicating with me when things were relatively stable in her relationship, given she’d told me all these horrible details about the bad times. They ended up getting engaged and she asked me to be in her bridal party.
On the few occasions I’ve met her partner, I’m civil. This person can be quite charismatic and manipulative, and I think they don’t like me because I see through it.
A few months ago, after Sarah and I hadn’t spoken in a good five or six months, I requested we meet face-to-face and addressed our drift head-on. She took full responsibility and promised to make more of an effort. She also said the relationship is going really well these days. All in all, we had a pleasant night.
I haven’t seen her since. Our last communication was when I texted a couple of weeks later and asked how she was going and she never responded. But I’m still getting wedding updates (via group emails, not directly to me) and it’s expected that I’ll be there. It’s a destination wedding that will set me back around $1500 (which is a lot of money for me, but I’d be there for a close friend in a heartbeat).
I feel disingenuous attending when I don’t approve of the relationship, and also am not sure if I really exist to Sarah as anything more than a “crisis friend” when things go bad. I’m weighing up whether I should just go, or have to fully explain to her why I won’t be attending (her absence, my sentiment towards the partner, etc). I realise the latter will officially end our friendship.
WIBTA if I didn’t go to the wedding?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
n058Bs7UHxO7A9PSnc95Bs72pUtGiCBh | b2isf8 | {
"description": "getting angry at my friends who are always stoned",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For getting angry at my friends who are always stoned? | I have two close friends, we’ll call them friend one and friend two. Friend one likes to smoke weed a lot and is always high. Friend two smokes occasionally, but always *pretends* to be completely stoned because said friend tries to be like friend one.
Any time I hang out with both friends, I am always the one to drive, because even though I *used* to smoke, I don’t like to anymore and haven’t for a couple of years. I’ve mentioned before that “one of you guys should drive some time” to which friend two replies “hell nah!”
Each time we hang out, it’s really up in the air whether or not one of them will bring weed into my car. In my state, marijuana is illegal, so I demand to know if somebody has some, so if I am stopped, I don’t end up lying to the officer by not knowing there was pot. I’ll often ask “do either of you have anything?” and friend two will lie and say “no,” then several minutes into our drive, he’s using a wax pen.
The incident: I’ve been getting sick of this slowly for a while, but I lost it a little bit the other night. Friends one and two were high, and I was driving them to a fast food restaurant.
Friends one and two are aware that I have allergy induced asthma, and that I do not carry an inhaler.
Friend two takes a bottle of cheap perfume from friend two insists “we all smell like weed,” (I certainly didn’t, but maybe they did?) and sprays himself, *me,* my car seats, and friend one. This occurred the previous week, and I told friend one he couldn’t spray that stuff around me. I guess that went unnoticed.
Maybe five minutes later, my throat begins to itch, my eyes are watering like crazy, and I’m coughing and wheezing. I say “That was shitty, dude.” Friend two says “Aw she mad!!!!” and nothing else.
I pull my car off into a parking lot and roll down my windows. I said something to the extent of “Yanno what? I’m really sick of this. I’m constantly driving your stoned asses around, and you bring your weed in the car even though I could get into trouble for it. You’re constantly pretending to be so high you can’t function, and you spray this perfume around me to the point of me having trouble breathing.” I then call friend two an asshole.
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zfeDDZEV31QF1zAp8O0IMPpWBjg20oX3 | ar5xuq | {
"description": "kicking out a drug addict from our house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I kicked out a drug addict from our house? | So, It goes a little like this. My roommate and I on the lease,
have taken in his "friend" who just so happens to be a drug addict in.
She's constantly bringing home drugs, and doing them inside our home
(which is smoke free). I have shared my concerns about this with him.
While he sits there and does nothing.
I have suspicions that he's partaking in these drugs with her.
Also, she contributes nothing in terms of financial aid,
whilst eating food I buy without replacing squat.
Being loud, sneaking her crack buddies in to stay for a few nights,
without consulting me or my roomie for that matter.
So I'd love nothing more to kick her out.
On the other hand, here in Central Alberta,
We're currently getting extreme cold warnings, as weather goes.
So it wouldn't be right to send her on her way.
However, there are plenty of shelters for this type of situation of hers.
Think I'm going to call the landlord, and get rid of her completely.
If she freezes to death, she freezes to death. Not my problem, anyways. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
E1thAGX2pYqSoNbQYKl5xREaQakm5kj3 | ay5q3w | {
"description": "not letting people charge their phones at my work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For not letting people charge their phones at my work? | I work at a bowling alley, and every now and then people will ask to charge their phones behind the desk. Most times I tell the person no, because it is company policy or something. There isn’t any reason to not let people charge their phones, except that it’s against the rules, so AITA for following a pointless rule? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Z8XjgxfjN9t3QQoaieivvEDb4dMH29h9 | atrfs8 | {
"description": "not letting my girlfriend purposely get nudes from guys so she can show her friends",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting my girlfriend purposely get nudes from guys so she can show her friends | She's got storage of dick pics she's received from other guys before we started dating and she shows them to her friends to give them the impression that she receives them often. She told me about this after I said no to her asking me if I wanted to make a Snapchat account with her to get more nudes and she got angry, said I didn't understand and won't answer my calls. She's done a couple things with other guys that I won't go into detail about and I find it hard to trust her around them, but she insists she likes it when I be protective, and I have body issues she's well aware of and I don't appreciate it when she goes on about other guys bodies.
I'm really trying to understand things from her perspective but I'm finding it really hard and was wondering if someone could give me some advice or tell me why she would want to do that. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
99rZDBrEUWT9GdIYK4KoUN8k2wc5PDql | b5ea6k | {
"description": "refusing to forgive my ex after she kissed a guy in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for refusing to forgive my ex after she kissed a guy in front of me? | I had an affair with this girl for almost 3 years. We dated for 6 months but had to breakup cause there's things in her life that makes it impossible for her to have a relationship. I still love her, and she says she does to.
I live in a nearby city and not always go back to my hometown (where she lives), but when I do we still hangout and really enjoy our time together.
We were talking about getting back together and she told me she was working on it and that she would be able to be with me again soon, and it made me very happy.
Last week I went back to my hometown to go to my friend's bday party, my plans were to smoke, drink, and have a good time with my sister and my friends. When I told her that I was going to a party she started asking me to take her with me. I tried to tell her that she would not appreciate the occasion, and that I'd like to have some time to myself, and that we could grab a beer on the next day and spend the whole day together.
Of course she refused to accept. She said I was basically telling her that she's not good enough to hang out with me and my friends. I gave up on trying to explain to her that I just wanted to have some time to myself.
A couple hours before the party I noticed that a few names were added to the invite list. Of course her name was there. I asked I she would really go to the party and she said that she was going with her friends (even though she only knew me and one other person in the entire party).
When I got there and she saw me she started trying to kiss me but I didn't let her (multiple times). A few minutes after that she came to me holding hand with a guy and asked me if it was ok if she kissed him.
I told her "I am not your dad. You should do whatever you think is right".
So she kissed the guy right beside me, while I was watching.
Needles to say that it ruined my night. After that I think she saw I was mad with her, so she kept trying to talk to me and kiss me for the next our or so, and then she left the party.
Now she's telling me that she was not trying to hurt me, that she thought that I would not care, and that she was also hurt cause I didn't invited her to go with me.
Was I the asshole for not inviting her? Will I be the asshole if I don't forgive her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
Q3Sf7G5ayttNxhqapC6ER7KOOu44do2Y | b9g9z1 | {
"description": "not cooking differently for my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for not cooking differently for my girlfriend? | Recently I have been on a diet, but have a cheat day few couple weeks. I really look forward to these days and plan out the meals carefully. My last cheat day was on Saturday and I planned to cook chicken breast wrapped in bacon in cheese sauce for dinner (my dad used to cook it and it was my favorite dish as a kid). I bought the ingredients a couple days before and invited my girlfriend over for that night. When I went to cook it I realised that there was only 1 chicken breast left, which is only enough for 1 person, my roommate had eaten the other (he's not the asshole, we eat eachothers food sometimes and I forgot to tell him not to eat any of the food I planned to cook with). I was really looking forward to this meal so I wanted to cook it anyway and suggested my girlfriend ordered a pizza instead. She knows how much I look forward to these cheat day meals so thought she would understand. She did not. She called me an asshole for not making anything for her so I offered to cook some pasta for her, but said I would still have the chicken. She said it was too late for me to offer that and it still didn't fix the problem and left. If I didn't eat the chicken that night I wouldn't be able to have it for another few weeks so I was dead set on having it, even if she couldn't.
AITA for still wanting to have the meal I planned, even if she couldn't? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
uVrHzSOQKmdjceiE7LayRz67S1JjTXFY | b4dofa | {
"description": "feeling weird about my two best friends wanting to hook up with each other",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for feeling weird about my two best friends wanting to hook up with each other? | My best friend of two years (20f) and my close friend/flatmate (20m) want to bump fronts and the idea of it makes me feel weird.
They're both newly single after long term relationships and aren't after anything serious, just a one time hookup.
They met each other through me.
She asked me what I thought about it and for my blessing so to speak, but I said that it makes me feel weird and that I'm neither for it nor against it but she keeps pressing me about it.
I've asked them both why they can't just pursue other people but they said its because they know each other and the attraction.
I'm not into either of them.
They said it wouldn't damage our friendships with either of them and it wouldn't ruin our friend dynamic but i'm doubtful about that.
She's asked if I would be "really mad."
I would appreciate any advice on this situation.
AITA for feeling this way? WIBTA for acting on these feelings?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
itYvxpwglVokngxfPKuBc5d7TEqsPcpS | ampbbe | {
"description": "feeling like a friend dismissed my medical condition",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for feeling like a friend dismissed my medical condition | First ever post on Reddit so sorry if I get anything wrong. Throwaway so it hopefully can't be linked back to me.
Important backstory: A long time ago (several years) I got sick. It was miserable for a long time and my life never really recovered. After some time and investigation they concluded that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. If any of you have any experience of this condition, you may know that it's not a fun diagnosis. For several years I've been stuck in a wheelchair, unable to walk distances, I've struggled to hold down a job, and I've endured comments including "I'd kill myself if that happened to me", "You can cure that with cannabis/yoga/trying harder". I've also been living in constant pain, which was written off as fibromyalgia.
Last week I chased up with my doctor and got a new diagnosis, Hypermobility Syndrome. It's impossible to know if I have both, or if my CFS symptoms are all explained by it. It's a massive deal because my pain is from a physical cause and I'm looking at physiotherapy that may help me it. Knowing this diagnosis I'm now able to made small changes that slightly relieve the pain, and I'm still reeling from the years I lost. Knowing it's not "all in my head" is a massive deal.
I was talking to a group of friends about this, and as soon as I said "I have Hypermobility Syndrome", one of them instantly declared "I have that too", and even worse "We have the same thing", talking about how "it sometimes hurts". I have social anxiety, so had no idea how to respond to that. In later conversation it was determined that she does not have this diagnosed, she just feels like she has it. She may do, but she lives a normal life, walking, intensive exercise. To me it doesn't feel the same at all (and it instantly shut down the conversation where I was excitedly talking about what it meant to me) , and now all our friends are left thinking that I have a minor condition, rather than the extreme disabilities I have.
AITA for getting upset about this? I know it was probably said with good intentions, but it felt a little like making it "all about her" I guess. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5x7FCXjulBnfSX25lxAl06MENlDMiiRb | aryask | {
"description": "correcting my co-worker when he tells people his son is in \"Medical School\"",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 48
} | AITA for correcting my co-worker when he tells people his son is in "Medical School" | My coworker's son is in Chiropractic college. With my biased against the profession in general aside, I am not dismissing that accomplishment at all, as it takes hard work and good grades to get in and graduate from the College of Chiropractics he is currently attending. That being the case I think that he and his parents should be extremely proud of that.
However, in every social situation I am in with him and his wife they never say their son is in Chiropractic college, instead they say "Medical School". They also mislead further by saying he will be a "Practicing Doctor at 23, one of the youngest in the country". Everyone that doesn't know the family closely assumes, wrongly, that he is in an MD program. If I am in attendance in these situations I always work what kind of college he is really attending to the conversation. Normally to a glare or some side eye from his parents. I feel that his parents should be proud of what he is actually doing and not their inflated version if his accomplishment. I feel they are not proud of him being in Chiropractic school as if they were they would not feel the need to leave that out of every conversation.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 22,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 48
} | WRONG |
hPHahubqD6FQWUktK72ADHce5UduNK2G | b5zfq0 | {
"description": "getting pics while talking with an ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for getting pics while talking with an ex? | My long distance ex/girlfriend and I have been on and off for sometime, we've met in person multiple times, and we've even had plans to meet in about a month again. I do love her but things are toxic at times, and sometimes she can be needy, controlling, and bossy and even i admit I can be a dick who says mean shit and just want to be left alone, it's been a long rocky road, but we've lasted sorta.
At some point I met another female who seemed to be some kind of exhibitionist, and she'd often send me random revealing pictures of her, honestly it seemed like she'd send it to anyone who ask given her social media and her never actually responding to me unless it was some generic reply...but that's besides the point... when my ex and I got back together, I cut her off, and had not spoken to her in sometime.
Cut to more recently and my ex and I have broken up once again, we didn't speak in a while, and I've vented my frustrations explaining how it's better when we're in person than long distance, because honestly long distance just doesn't feel the same as being with her in person when we're together things just feel right.
What frustrates me about her is how she's always kind of a bitch to me and always giving me these shitty ultimatums and threats, honestly it makes me mad, but I love her, and while I want to leave, it kinda hurts to think about since we also have had a lot of good times and legitimate bonding moments together.
But anyway after not speaking to her for about a week and a half I re add the other female, then she starts sending me more stuff, we chat (she doesn't respond too much) , and she sends me even more.
Then my ex and I start talking again, and I still get stuff from the other girl, but ultimately, I don't feel any kind of way about it as we're not together. We discuss getting back together, and even watch a movie and her visiting and what not but we never formally get back together.
Cut to now, she finds out about the other girl, and now she's posting pictures of herself half naked on reddit for god knows why, maybe to get me jealous, maybe for approval, maybe some kind of revenge and she's saying I "cheated" on her even though we weren't really together.
If I'm being honest, I feel like I was not in the wrong due to us not being together, but at the same time, I knew I couldn't come clean to her about the other female, I ultimately figured I'd just cut her off again and go about my life should my ex an I have gotten back together, but I realize even that is shady and felt kinda shitty about it.
And now my ex isn't speaking to me, and i'm sitting here not sure how to feel about it.
TL;DR: Broke up with on and off again girlfriend, got in touch with exhibitionist lady, got lewd pics, ex finds out, accuses me of cheating, starts posting half naked on reddit out of spite, and now she's not talking to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
vIkzhqnfP8j6KM5HHJhlucUfdYWGogD2 | acozho | {
"description": "wanting to use a college fund my grandmother set aside for me for something other than college",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for wanting to use a college fund my grandmother set aside for me for something other than college? | My grandparents have a college fund of approximately 10k for me, and each of my siblings. They invested a specific amount when each of us were born, and it gains interest each year until we turn 18, so we have 10k each by the time we are off to college. I however, will be going to college in a different country which has free (or nearly free) college, so I don't need the money for the degree itself, but I would like to withdraw the money and use it over time for housing costs, visa costs, plane fees, and things of that nature. However, this particular method of college funding enforces heavy fines and taxes on the money if you withdraw it directly instead of apply it to an approved American University, so that means it would be \~5k left to use as you want opposed to 10k directly to a college, but I am ok with that as it would still help tremendously and would be better than not using it at all. My grandparents said that unless I go to an American University, they will not give me the money to use and will instead leave it for a few years in case I change my mind and want to stay in America, and if not they will pass the money along to my siblings when they're older.
AITA for feeling as though it's a bit unfair that they will not allow me to use this money? I know it is technically theirs, but the strings attached feel unfair in themselves, and I'm sure this will cause quite a bit of family drama when it comes time to decide which sibling gets to double their college fund as it cannot be divided among them. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
dbTVxRE9Bxuma5CuMMYO5amTWAkVI8uf | b3r8vg | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend he should accept my decision and for wanting him to stay",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling my boyfriend he should accept my decision and for wanting him to stay? | I will try to be brief here, especially because I am using a different account than the one I use at home.
​
We have been together for 3 years now, He was somewhat conservative and I am somewhat liberal but we would always find a way to compromise on a few things, and honestly, I really liked that, I love to talk with him about politics and understand his views on certain issues. When it comes to abortion I was always (and still am) pretty pro-choice, but I always thought that I wouldn't do it, I kinda felt guilty by the idea of terminating a pregnancy, and he was pro-life of course.
​
However, recently I found myself in a delicate situation, I lost my job and my family started to face some deep financial issues, issues that ended up affecting me and my income, and all of that happened right before I got pregnant. So after some deep thinking and crying, I decided that I would get an abortion since I couldn't take care of the child right now, and nor was my BF financially stable enough to take care of the baby. So I gave him the news, and he was mostly respectful about my choice, told me that he knows that in the end it's my choice but he felt like he couldn't go on with the relationship after that, and he really felt betrayed by my choice, that last part really boggled me, I mean if he knew it was my choice then why did he felt betrayed? We ended up having a small argument over that and I ended up saying that he should accept my choice and walking away from our relationship is not the right answer, it felt like an ultimatum or something.
​
If he was respectful about that, why did he felt the need to leave? I mean I get that he doesn't approve this, but I feel like he is pressuring me somehow, and not only that, but I really don't wanna see him leaving, the situation I am in is so fucked up and letting him go would just make me feel even worse, I know that I should let him go, but it's hard to accept that.
​
TL,DR: I Got pregnant, I wanna have an abortion, bf tells me he is gonna leave but "respects" my choice, but I don't wanna see him leaving. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
quZJWyNOCpHhyr44VWvw1tRCxF9Q0XTD | azrtny | {
"description": "not helping a girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not helping a girl? | First of all english is not my first language. I'm sorry for any mistakes.
Secondly all of this happened in german. I'll translate as good as I can.
Backstory:
I started studying at the end of last year. (Info: My university is about 140 km away from my home. I study and work in a block of 3 months each.) One evening when a group of friends and me went for a drink I met this girl. Let's call her A. That night we were the last two who were there. We were both pretty drunk. We went out to get some fresh air. She started talking about her deceased best friend and started crying. Drunk as I was, I just tried to be there for her. After about 30 minutes she decided to go home. (A friend picked her up by car)
After that we started texting each other. Everything was relatively normal. We wanted to meet a few times but that always had to be cancelled spontaneously. (She canceled every time) On December 25th I asked her again if she could meet me. There was no answer from her until January 10th. I didn't think anything about it, because it became normal again afterwards. That went on until the beginning of February when she didn't answer again.
Everyone deserves a second chance but not a third.
Main Part:
Yesterday she wrote me again. The conversation went like this:
A: "Ey you?"
Me: "Hm?"
A: "I'm stuck in \[My Hometown\] because of a storm. A friend and I don't know where to go. Where do you live in \[My Hometown\]? So that we can stop by your house."
*At this point I was already pissed. Not even a "sorry" or anything from her. She just expects me to help her. And I should say that it wasn't dangerous. The trains just didn't drive anymore.*
Me: "I live in \[District of my hometown\]"
A: "Ehhh..."
Me: "?"
A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You asked where I live in \[My Hometown\]. But funny that you just happen to write me when you need something."
*30 minutes later*
A: "Please be pissed off then. I'll be fine. My boyfriend is on the way."
​
TLDR: A girl that ghosted me twice needed my help because her train didn't drive home because of a storm. When I said no she became bitchy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ucaJYwc2tbsU1X2Q6SXhq6wdHxwUtloO | apuqhy | {
"description": "returning a dog I got for my birthday to the shelter",
"pronormative_score": 121,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for returning a dog I got for my birthday to the shelter? | Throwaway because I don't want to get harassed for this on my main account. I'm sorry if this sounds like a shitpost but I've genuinely been wracked with guilt over this.
My birthday was at the end of January and my dad surprised me with a dog adopted from the shelter as a present. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs. However, my financial situation is awful right now. I lost my job a couple of months ago and I'm still trying to find a new one, and I'm also trying to pay off my student loans. I barely have money for myself right now, never mind for vet bills, food, toys, etc. I kept the dog for a day while trying to figure it out financially but I had to realize it just wasn't possible right now. I couldn't give the dog back to my dad because my stepmom is very allergic to dogs. I returned her to the shelter. First I got judgment from the workers there because apparently the dog has been returned twice and she deserves a forever home. My dad is also really mad at me for returning the dog. He told me I'm selfish, a bad person to be so cruel to an innocent animal, and that I should've opened new credit cards and just "figured it out". He told me the dog is probably going to get put down and it's all my fault. I feel absolutely horrible over this but I didn't want to have a pet I can't afford to take care of. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 119,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 121,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
9NoOO7PMgmqmwVdbMBHw4DhqDWg4BwKS | abr2wi | {
"description": "punching my dad in the shoulder",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for punching my dad in the shoulder? | So tonight my dad walked in and wanted to know my grades. He overreacts to everything and tends to overcorrect it. So I avoided telling him. I never gave him access to my grades so he had to ask me. He does pay for a part of my college. The rest of it is covered by scholarship. With that being said I've been talking with my counselor and have worked out a solution that works and still allows me to graduate in 4 years. I failed 3 classes last semester because of depression and burnout. That is my responsibility but I I'm trying to fix my mistake. I told them that I would not allow him access to my account and that he didn't have the right even if he paid. He told me I was a terrible son, and that I should be ashamed of myself. I asked him to get out, and my memory is not perfect but it led to him punching me in the face. I got angry and punched him in the shoulder. He looked aghast and told me that I had to move out by tomorrow because he didn't want to son like me. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow and hope that we can come to some sort of compromise. Not because I'm afraid of moving out, but because I want to say that I tried to fix our relationship. Am I the asshole here? I fully respect it if I am. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
i74IsJA8CdOXcyCuNEGc3N8baXOHbJrb | b0seps | {
"description": "turning down my girlfriend and masturbating afterwards",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 28
} | AITA for turning down my girlfriend and masturbating afterwards? | This all happened just now and I'm really confused.
Today we got both got off class a little earlier as usual, so we went home together. When we got inside she tried to initiate sex, but I wasn't in the mood so I said I wasn't feeling it. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful and everything but I just wasn't up for it. We've been together for approximately 2 years now and we're both 21 if that matters.
Fast forward 2 hours. I got a little bit horny and I wanted to jerk off, so I got my laptop and I did. In the middle of the session my girlfriend walked into the room and looked at me like I shat in her shoes. She called me a dick and walked out saying some other stuff I couldn't hear. Since then she hasn't been talking to me outside of yes/no and she's visibly upset.
Am I in the wrong here though? I don't feel like I did something wrong, and I don't know why she's so pissed over this.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 28
} | RIGHT |
8M51NJlerWuc0DRurm2sUqKlFwyK3PqY | a3kvtn | {
"description": "not wanting to dress up as Santa and lead Christmas Carols as a Jew",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to dress up as Santa and lead Christmas Carols as a Jew? | They know I'm Jewish and that I'm not comfortable with this but "It's not religious," as my boss says. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ovURZJWwnxQghc4QVbXnrQ3hzhKcgu9Y | b8kubm | {
"description": "not firing my racist employee",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 103
} | AITA for not firing my racist employee? | Im the manager and owner of fairly large bar and grill and i have 12 employees. One of my employees (Dale) is pretty racist against Asians and Hispanics. Our staff is entirely black and white and he doesn't have an issue with those people (he's black) but for whatever reason really hates asians and hispanics. Other coworkers have complained about his comments such as "hey hurry up, this chink ordered a burger" or "I'm tired of these people speaking mexican in here" among other similarly racist comments. I've told him to stop countless times and he hasn't. He rants about how immigrants are ruining this country and asians and hispanics are stealing our jobs and look weird and so on. He usually keeps this rhetoric to the staff but a few times he's gotten into altercations with customers who've then complained to me. He almost got into a fight with a hispanic customer after saying wetbacks should be deported and sent back to mexico or something like that. I had to intervene to stop the fight from happening. I've usually settled these incidents by giving them free drink and told dale to stfu or I'm firing him. At this point though i've told dale to stop or i would fire him but he hasn't. Yesterday he told an old vietnamese man that he should stop blocking the doorway or he'd pour some agent orange in his next cocktail instead of politely asking him to move. The obvious solution is to just fire him because eventually an disgruntled employee or customer will film him and make it go viral giving the restaurant bad publicity or right some really bad reviews on yelp, trip advisor or whatever. Im fed up with dale but he's a single father who has 3 children to take care of and he's taking care of his sick mother who's financially dependent on him which is why i feel i can't fire him. He's obviously a very morally bad person but if i fire him it'll screw over the other people who depend on him. My other employees are constantly demanding i fire him but i've insisted that i can't because i don't want is kids to be screwed over. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 94,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 103
} | WRONG |
Wi304DVrkEJxKlhIER7oQBlMHGhc0qY3 | 9ysvin | {
"description": "expecting my girlfriend to do most of the housework and not seeing her as \"equal\"",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for expecting my girlfriend to do most of the housework and not seeing her as “equal” | So my girlfriend and I have recently had a falling out and she’s decided to move back in with her parents until we can figure out where our relationship is going.
I’m a trade apprentice and I’m making barely minimum wage, and my girlfriend is studying to be an engineer. I moved out of home into a cheap apartment and she decided to move in with me - she said it was to help pay my bills but I think she wanted out of her parents house as much as I did. Rent is about 1/3 of my wage, and I pay for it all - she works casually and makes probably 1/4 what I make. She pays for groceries and that’s about it, while I pay rent, utilities, and registration and gas for my car.
I leave for work at 7:30 and come home at 6:30 most days. When I get home I’m dead tired, sick of dealing with other people’s shit and just want to relax. She has class twice a week and goes to see her family two nights a week, so unless she’s sleeping somewhere else I see her when I leave for work and when I come home. She cooks when she feels like it and I clean the dishes if she doesn’t make too much of a mess - she gets inspired sometimes and that makes extra dishes that I don’t feel like I should be cleaning. She also dusts, vacuums and shovels the cat litter. We do our own individual laundry, but usually she’s the one who folds them.
Our recent arguments have revolved around her complaining that she is asked to do too much around the home and that the tasks are not evenly split. My opinion is that she has far more time to do more chores and that I’m the breadwinner and should be expected to do less around the home. She has responded to this by suggesting that I don’t see her as an equal - and I have to admit that I don’t. I know her studies are important but she’s currently making so little money and expects me to pay for her livelihood while she studies - wouldn’t the return for that be that she is expected to do more of the chores? Isn’t that an acceptable trade-off?
I want to understand whether I’m being unreasonable, because I don’t feel like I am but our relationship is falling apart and I want to know if this is my fault.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
0dZM0BqVFksNRtGp0FZO5Erg8K1MEkJK | aktz49 | {
"description": "going to my ex boyfriends house to get money he owed me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for going to my ex boyfriends house to get money he owed me? | My ex (24) and I (19) broke up about two months ago for a whole bunch of reasons. While we were together, he made a Hulu account and used my debit card for it, which I was perfectly fine with. After we broke up I asked him to cancel my card because I don't use Hulu often, he said he did and he never did.
I let the first time after we broke up slide, but just a few days ago I picked him up from the airport and he started a whole bunch of shit on the way back and we said we would never talk to each other again. The next day I see in my bank statement that he still hasn't canceled my card, so I texted him about it and he told me that he would cancel it and pay me back.
Well in that text convo we got into a small argument and he said "find another way to get your money, I'm blocking you." I finally had enough of being the bigger person during the break up, so I brought my dad with me to his place to get the money, just in case anything bad happened.
I told him he owed me $25 for three months of Hulu that I paid for and didn't use (we broke up like a week after he had used my card and he never gave me the password for it, so I never used it) and he kept saying how he didn't have the money. I asked when he would get it, he said he didn't know because he had just lost his job. I told him to give me something else then if he didn't have the cash.
He tried closing the door on me but I used it foot to block it and kept blocking it when he tried to close it, until he eventually poked me in the eyeballs. That only made me angry and I was able to push the door open in a fit of rage, falling down in the process. He tried to pick me up to get me off the ground and force me out, and that's when my dad got out of the car and screamed at him "get your fucking hands off my daughter."
I eventually left without anything, him and my dad got into a text argument and we both blocked him on everything.
Tldr; my ex used my debit card to pay for a Hulu account I never used and we got physical when I went to his place to get the money back. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
DqnVIxLtsB9J5M5WiqCyf17BAbtUtXaH | aui9yz | {
"description": "wanting to vet my longtime gf's friends before they come over",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for wanting to vet my longtime gf's friends before they come over? | This is something I think about a lot lately but the short version is that I only allow a couple people my girlfriend knows to come over and I hangout with new friends of hers at least once (usually movies or to smoke some weed, not like an interview or anything) before new ones have permission to come over. This started early into our relationship but we've been together five years now and live together. My girlfriend never brings it up and when I've asked her about it she says she doesn't mind but she's also fairly submissive due to her upbringing (this could be its own story so I'll skip it for now) and I often worry about taking advantage of her nature.
For context, this is the only relationship I've ever done this in. When it first started it was because my girlfriend has friends who imo could be problematic to have around and I have a home business. The gallery includes an alcoholic who up until a few months ago would pee randomly at parties, two guys I /know/ are engaging in non-violent/non-theft felonious activities (I don't want to go into details here but this isn't just a hunch, from her stories I recognize the activity the pair are engaging in), a guy who got out of the navy (not a problem) and spends most of his time saying obscene things to women because he never reintegrated into regular life (the problem), and another guy who screamed at her while she was weezing on the ground from a panic attack once. There's also two girls who are newer and sort've obnoxious but seem alright truthfully. I've been thinking of saying it'd be alright if the pair of girls came over but all of these people are part of the same circle and I'm worried about them inviting the rest of the gang (their friend circle is very "if x is here then the whole gang should be here")
I realize this probably sounds like I'm only focusing on the negatives but what I've described is the whole group of friends minus a few that don't come around anymore these days (classmates from when she was taking classes and a girl from a hobby group) . Despite what I've described, my girlfriend has never complained about the situation and I'm very happy with her despite however strange this probably sounds. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
GziunVm5aq2MGBMjpwJsDdxIJxUOUsCe | aw6mfr | {
"description": "abandoning a stoner in the woods without a compass",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for abandoning a stoner in the woods without a compass? | My college is a school of resource management and environmental science. There's one dude in my section everyone hates because he's a moron and thinks he's better than everyone else (talks about how he already knows everything cause he already took the course even though he's still in it cause he failed). In common first semester everyone has to pass a compassing exercise to find their way to a specific point in the woods. This guy Sean found another moron to be his partner his name... Shawn. The bus ride there every time he opens his bag we can smell weed he tries to deny having it and we're all like dude we don't care. As soon as he gets off the bus he pulls out a shatter pen and they start hitting it pretending their trying to hide it but showing everyone cause the think there cool. An hour later me and my partner are in the woods and haven't seen another group in over 30 minutes Sean comes up asking if we've seen Shawn because he can't find him and he DOESNT HAVE A COMPASS and my partner goes something tells me you were 30 meters from him at one point (We use tools called. Chains to navigate which space us 30 meters apart from our partners). To which Sean replies ok I'm gonna go keep looking for him can you help me and Me and my partner not wanting to ruin are mark said no. But also In my head I have these images of him getting lost too trying to find him and everyone having to go find them both so I told him to continue to his point and let the professor there know. Half an our later we get to our point and the profs are just learning of this to head out and find him. Turns out he fell over in the snow which was past my knees and I'm 5'11" and was so high decided that meant he had to lie there. When they found him he was burying himself. I keep thinking I should've helped find the dude he could've been super hurt or lost for a long time in the deep snow but instead I told the only person looking for him to abandon him. Am I an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
dSoCYOcVlkauvOR56ETOd8ThJ1T56jXz | aq69tm | {
"description": "leaving my friend because he's not even care about me being care about his depression",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving my friend because he's not even care about me being care about his depression? | He telling me stories about his hard times, I tried to help him but he's not willing to change, he's just constantly walked away from the conversation and I was thinking why do I even bother, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
x5GbylGlyuoz8qy56bn83sNI5CYm3g9z | 9x66k7 | {
"description": "being mad at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my friend | I had been dating a girl for a little over 2 months and things seemed to be going smoothly. One week I started to notice something off with how my friend was acting in a group chat with my girlfriend. He would send heart eye emojis and she would return them when saying goodnight and stuff like that. She seemed to give him far more attention than me and he seemed interested in her.
I dm'd her after about 3 days of this saying that I thought he liked her (after consulting 2 of my friends about this to make sure I wasn't crazy). She said that it doesn't matter if he does like her because he can't control it, but I thought this was BS as he can control how he acts though.
At school I was visibly mad at him, and they started texting about me when I had his phone and was playing a game on it, she texted him. I suspected they were talking about me, because he was hiding his phone from me the whole period. I was nosy and clicked into a notification from her that said something along the lines of "don't text me right now he's mad at me".
She said that I was mad at him for no reason and that it was uncalled for. I made a few jokes poking fun at it, and a few days later she dumped me. The reason she gave me up front was that she "wasn't mentally ready" for a relationship. I was later able to find out her reason for dumping me was that I was "too overprotective" and that I reacted poorly to the situation.
I found out later that he sent her heart Emojis over dm's and that they face timed very frequently. I am also almost 90% sure they were on FaceTime when she texted me to dump me as well.
For that whole week I ignored the both of them as I thought I had a good reason. I was also able to find a few days later that my friend actually did like my girlfriend, and that I wasn't spreading "lies" as my friend said I was. I also saw a screenshot that said that my ex had feelings for my friend (keep in mind this is a few days after the breakup). They both didn't know that I know this and they continue to feed me lies about how he had nothing to do with our breakup, however she clearly lost feelings for me and quickly gained them for him
In a group chat my friend made a remark that "suicide jokes weren't funny" so during class I said that I was going to kill myself in an obvious sarcastic manner (I know that suicide is a serious topic, and I regret these jokes, however I was seriously pissed off).
My friend never apologized for lying to my face and also basically flirting with my ex over dm's but he wanted me to apologise for the suicide jokes to him.
We have since sort of made up but I am just wondering, am I the asshole for getting mad at him. I know it was uncalled for to click into their private messages, but was it that bad of an offense? Was I overprotective? Did I go too far? I never specifically told her to stop talking to him I just told her that she gave him much more attention. In summary was I the asshole for generally being mad at him
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zBs3CPzCMt27dCovQEoMRA306XF0cSZJ | aflyx7 | {
"description": "missing my roommate from college's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for missing my roommate from college’s wedding? | One of my friends and roommates from college is getting married this summer. The wedding is close to two hours away from me (I live in Philly) and I will only know her, and my other two roommates. The wedding is on a Saturday and that Sunday I’m supposed to leave for a trip to Denver with my friends. However, now my group of friends wants to leave Saturday because the flights are much cheaper. Also, even if I did leave on Sunday like I planned, I have no idea how I would get back to Philly Saturday night to leave for a flight Sunday morning. The wedding is in a very rural town so there is no public transportation. I also do not own a car and have only just recently gotten my license. I wouldn’t feel safe driving alone in the dark for that kind of distance. Am I an asshole if I miss the wedding? Of course still send her and her husband a nice gift and explain to her the situation. We are friends but not best friends, and we only lived together for one year because of our mutual friend. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tHn7B7U8HMQpKn9RH0dGvz7C7a0yvucG | amvwfu | {
"description": "being angry at my friend's mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being angry at my friend’s mom? | Okay let’s get a few points out of the way before start the story.
I’m transgender (female to male) and gay. I came out about four to five years ago. Okay so let’s start.
I have a friend who I’ll call Meg. Meg and I have been best friends for about six, almost seven years now. She’s spent countless weekends at my house and sometimes has spent even a whole week at my house. We talk all the time and have never really had an actual fight other than who cares about the other more.
About five months ago I told my mom that I was tired of having Meg’s family always call me by my birth name but I was scared to come out because they are an extremely Christian family and Meg had told me they don’t accept it.
After talking for a bit we decided that my mom would text Meg’s mom and basically come out for me.
Once Meg’s mom found out I was transgender she then banned us from having sleepovers. Meg and I were both devastated because we’ve spent almost a decade spending nights together and laughing over stupid stuff.
Now my mom being the lady she is decided to try and make it so things wouldn’t be like this. Meg is basically like family to me AND my family now. My mom calls her daughter and my sisters call her their sister.
The reason Meg’s mom wouldn’t let us have sleepovers anymore was because she said I’m a boy and she needs to “protect her kids.” That was the part that hit me the hardest. That my best friend now needed to be protected from me in the woman’s eyes. My mother went on to tell her “but [name redacted]! He’s gay!” But that still didn’t change her mind.
I don’t know what to do. Meg and I are both devastated that we can’t have sleepovers anymore and it isn’t just that. Almost every time we ask if Meg can come over her mother says she can’t because they’re “busy” even when Meg tells me that all she is doing that day is laying in bed.
So what do you think? Am I the asshole for being upset with how this is all playing out? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
f47fOPrp03vZTDWtXrkaGUPxdbDAxvFX | aeedbb | {
"description": "cheating and wanting my money back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for cheating and wanting my money back | I will admit that I am already an asshole. I moved with my boyfriend to another state and cheated on him physically and emotionally within the first year of the move with someone back home. There was a lot going on, but instead of playing the blame game, I just admit that what I did was wrong, deceitful, heartless, and disgusting...and I’m an asshole for that.
We went to an expensive couples counseling for months, but what it really came down to was that he never really forgave me and I could never forgive myself. I feel this sickening guilt, the kind that makes you feel nauseous and panicky, because I know I broke him. I broke his heart, his mind, and his soul.
Now that we’ve come down to it, I am moving out by myself, in a state where I know no one. I have no family or friends to lean on. The only people I spoke to outside of work were my (ex)boyfriend and his uncles. And rightfully, I’ve lost that.
My (ex) boyfriend makes twice as much income as me, however I had a big savings. We moved with the deal that I would pay what I could for rent and I’d put half down for the car. I paid a $4,000 down payment for the car and he is paying the other $4,000 monthly. I paid more than a quarter of the rent, half car insurance, half internet monthly. All groceries, gas, furniture, repairs on the car, counseling were split evenly. I would ask monthly, if I should be paying more on rent, but he never said I should. The money I was not using to pay more rent helped me afford our trips together, while still being able to pay what was agreed on for rent, as I don’t get paid-time-off at work.
Now that we split, he says the car is in his name, it’s his car. Fine. What about the $4000 down payment? He said I’ve saved over $3000 by paying so little rent because I lived with him, implying I shouldn’t get that money back. That was not the agreement. I did not agree to backlogging rent that was never agreed that I was to pay in the first place. I’m not expecting $4000, but I think in fairness, I should get $2000-3000 back.
Maybe I don’t deserve it back, maybe it’s karma, maybe it’s what I owe for causing emotional damage.
I’m an asshole for cheating. But AITA for wanting my money back? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
HwEemAWKSjhvs9RELO8WTnM8qNuxQqhk | asx6lk | {
"description": "trying to hook up with a girl that was flirting with me and ended up making out with my friend? or with his gf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA If i tried to hook up with a girl that was flirting with me and ended up making out with my friend? Or with his gf? | Hey guys, it's my first time, si here is the story.
18th bday of my friend, sitting with my friends and making jokes with a good friend, for the sake of the story, I will call him Mike. Mike has a nice gf she's hot, but we doubt that she cheats on him, we'll call her Anna. A cute girl 8/10 laughs her ass off on our jokes and shenanigans. I sit next to her. She starts to dance with me. We will call this girl Jane. Jane starts to eye fuck with me. I am tipsy and so is she I suppose. I go help my friend puke you know, cause everyone didn't give a fuck about the guy. I get a bit drunker and end up having a great time. But I notice that Jane is gone. And Mike is gone aswell. Later I see them making out on a bench. I was happy for the guy cause he got back at his slut of a gf Anna. But I was sad cause I wasted my shot. I heard that Jane and Mike are going out tomorrow(that would be yesterday). Now I wanna hook up with one of those girls. He is my good friend and I don't wanna do something I will regret later. WIBTA if I tried to shoot my shot on both Jane and Anna?
Thanks in advance guys! | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
sejKOp9XiOVtJiu2fJcDw3ZqeW7xpBGM | ah3u1e | {
"description": "not telling my friend who the girl is that I have a crush on",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my friend who the girl is that I have a crush on? | Title says it all but, me and a friend were talking and he asked if I had a crush and I said : idk maybe
Whole lotta talk later I don’t feel comfortable telling him who she is because he knows her and we all work together. I just don’t want it to be awkward at work.
He has made a really big deal about it saying i don’t trust him or something and he completely stopped talking to me and started to ignore me.
So reddit I just need to know if it was a dick move of myself or is he just overreacting?
Thank you so much for helping! | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1hLRUpNPa1w3r1jIbryRykDnek353JuN | b04gtg | {
"description": "wanting to cut all ties with my mom's mom and my mom's youngest sister",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to cut all ties with my mom’s mom and my mom’s youngest sister?[REUPLOAD] | I’m only 16, but when my uncle died a few years back, the very first thing grandmother did was blame my mom. Now that wasn’t the first thing that GM did, but it was the worst. She constantly favors my younger cousins over my 2 sisters and i, hasn’t said more than 15 words to me in the past 3-4 years, gives aunt’s children everything and only gives my sisters and i either $10 or $25 gift cards, promised my older sister a graduation present and never delivered, and completely ignores me at any family gathering since my uncle died.
My aunt, isn’t as bad, but basically pulls the same shit that GM does, but is slightly more bearable.
My mom said that GM was better before my grandpa died, but i was a baby when he did, so i don’t remember her before all this BS started. I have another AITA post, but that’ll be for another day. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T7pEcgfkBvpWhY0X5ZYm6ptqOYU7Cepv | b7rk1y | {
"description": "giving discounts to friends but making money off the top",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITAH. Giving discounts to friends but making money off the top. | I’m working my notice period for a company that makes compelling and highly desired products.
I get two different levels of discount - 25% for personal purchases and 15% for friends and family. The number of items I can buy at the personal rate is limited to just a few per year.
I decided to offer discounts to everyone I know before I finally leave. In some of the cases I’ve offered a discount of 15% to my friends but actually paid for the item with 25% off, pocketing the 10% difference (about $30-$70 for each purchase).
My best friend used to work at the same place. I told him about my little scheme and he said it was wrong for me to make money from my friends and family without their knowledge.
I believe that I’m ok because I’m helping them get a discount that they wouldn’t otherwise get. AITAH? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
eAWRo3CLZyCeIe2t3L5sjOh0Ot82KBhn | amhx7h | {
"description": "suggesting an acne medication to an acquaintance",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | WIBTA if I suggested an acne medication to an acquaintance | So another soprano in my choir has really bad acne. She tries to cover it up but it’s still really bad. I used to have acne almost as bad as her and I went on accutane and it changed my life. I want to suggest it to her but it would it offend her that I
1 noticed it
2 feel like it should be changed
Some back ground : our personalities have butt heads before but she’s still very sweet. We are starting to become closer. Would saying that backtrack our relationship? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
qvjNrgeuqBS1DAf7b7VvyBIEO2caVa33 | alrbfw | {
"description": "telling my so that I value her advice and my friend's advice differently because they work in different fields",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For telling my SO that I value her advice and my friend's advice differently because they work in different fields | Hi everyone! First time posting here.
​
While talking about my job prospects, because it's currently not going so well right now, I said to my SO of almost 2 years that while I appreciate her advice, it's different because she's not in the same field, Computer Science. She is Math and Econ and works with pricing at a large company. I live with housemates that will be interning at Amazon, Google, Capital One, and Goldman Sachs and we often talk about the hiring process and the technical interviews. She said she is hurt because I said that I value my housemate's advice more than hers. But I explained that it's different because when she gives me **general** advice I value her input greatly, comparably to my mother's advice. However, this, specifically, is something that she might not have as much experience in, which I do not blame her for.
​
That being said, her feelings were hurt, so clearly what I said wasn't okay. I apologized immediately and told her I will try to structure my words better so that this doesn't happen in the future.
​
This happened yesterday and she is still upset about it and does not want to continue our regular conversations through text, because I am at work during the weekdays and visit her during the weekends.
​
I would love some input on what I might have did wrong or is there something that I am not seeing?
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
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"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
bwI1xvhF6nS3ctChQutCQJsXNWYU1Hzb | aoy9ys | {
"description": "expecting my sister to visit me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for expecting my sister to visit me? | My sister and I were always quite close - (talked on the phone almost every day, texted), up until 3 years ago when I moved about 1,000 miles away (a 2 hour flight about $50 where we are). I was really nervous to move, but my sister was really supportive and promised she'd come and visit within the weeks of me moving. It didn't feel like a big deal, because we travel to other countries all the time (in Europe) and I come and spend a month in my home country every year (2 x 2 week trips at Christmas and in Summer). I'm 27 and she's 26. It was always just us and my mum after our parents separated, and as we are quite estranged from other family on both sides, I thought we would stay friends and that we were quite a close family unit.
​
Around the same time, she moved in with a new boyfriend and I understood that she was busy with that, and we weren't in touch so much anymore. She deleted her Facebook and all other forms of social media, making it hard to keep in touch. She started picking up the phone less, never calling me, and chatting for about 3 minutes and saying she was really busy and had to go everytime we did get the chance to talk. The promise to come and visit within the first year quickly fell through despite every month she was promising to come and visit the next one, as she ended up going on a vacation elsewhere with her partner.
​
After about a year, she said she'd come and visit for my 26th birthday. I was really excited, told all of my new friends in my new town about her, planned what we'd do... and it started getting suspiciously near without hearing plane details (it's hard to keep in touch, since she doesn't use any social media or messaging apps). I called to follow up on the week she promised she was coming and she said she had actually gone on a Mediterranean trip with her partner instead.
​
The next year, promises to come were all full again, but I brought it up each time. Each time she'd say I'm being silly and of course she's coming soon, about to book the tickets again etc. Then it turns out her boyfriend's friend is getting married in the US.. again she's decided to go on a trip 6,000 miles away and spend a few weeks across the ocean. I told her I hope she has fun, listened to all the details when we were both visiting my mother and my other (much younger) sister and 'stepfather' on the same day, etc. but did tell her on several occasions how disappointing this is getting when she promised to visit me first and has been on several foreign trips arranged well after the first promise to me.
​
We come to this year, and she texted me a few weeks ago saying she'll book a ticket to come as soon as she gets her salary in January, I offered to pay and just told her I'm really excited to show here where I live and what my life is like now so I called her today as it's been a couple of weeks since then and she says she's going on a trip to New York in Spring and as soon as she's done with that, she'll book a ticket to come and visit me.
​
I told her, at this point, I'm really sick and tired of planning a trip which never happens. Hearing that once again she's booked a new trip to New York (on another continent), instead of spending 2 hours on a plane and $50 - $100 to come and see me first for a few days since she's been promising for the 4th year (happened several times in 2016, 2017, 2018 and now 2019) then I want to leave the idea altogether. I told her I'd never bring it up again, that it's given me sleepless nights, and I would appreciate for her to not bring it up again. I told her I can accept the fact that we have grown up and are no longer close, and that it's easier for me to tell people when they ask that I have a sister but we're not at all close. It hurts me when coworkers and friends ask me and tell me it's so strange that nobody has come to see me. I always say I Have a sister who is coming soon, but I've been saying that to the same people for the 4th year now and it's starting to get really embarrassing. I'd rather just say I have a sister but we're not really in touch.
​
My sister has been texting me now saying that she doesn't know why I'm acting weird, she promises she is 100% coming and that I'm acting 'weird' by just telling her to forget it. It's so much easier for me to stop pretending we're still anything like we used to be, because I miss her and I'm honestly quite lonely not having had the chance to show her my new life. I'd rather forget the idea altogether We still get along well when I go and meet her for dinner when I'm in my hometown again, so I considered the idea that her partner is banning her from communicating or that he needs to be the number 1 priority at all times, but I asked her privately a few times and she was offended by the idea. It seems she just really loves him and being a part of his world and visiting his family and friends is just much, much more important to her than her family. Which is fine, but I just wish she'd admit it so I can move on.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
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} | RIGHT |
IuxFNzOazC24NDoSj3Zv2V5F43my7egT | ar0s85 | {
"description": "selecting the negative choice in someone's insta story",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for selecting the negative choice in someone's insta story? | So I have a really weird kind of friendship with someone where at times we are inseparable and sometimes we would go months without seeing the other person. She is really really active on Instagram and whenever she posts a stort with a choice between lets say 'Yes' or 'No' I usually say No (basically picking the negative choice). Today she posted a story with her boyfriend and said 'Relationship goals?' with the choices being 'Yaassssss' and 'Eh' and since I knew she would want 100:0 I thought I won't answer this but when I saw her story again I absent mindedly picked the 'Eh' option and the ratio went from 100:0 to 88:12. She saw this and messaged me saying I'm blocked from watching her stories and I'm an asshole. Am I? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
D4ibu258Y8rVr8MiK0VKYVN2GpfyvZKS | a4bl6w | {
"description": "telling my principal that my teachers aide is probably having a mental breakdown",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my principal that my teachers aide is probably having a mental breakdown? | I have a male teacher’s aide who has a small desk in my room (because of lack of space to be stationed anywhere else.) He’s actually in my room maybe a quarter of the day and off doing duties and working with other kids the rest. He is about 25.
We have worked together for three and a half years now. He moved away halfway through to try to work for a game company (his dream) but it didn’t pan out. He returned a year ago and was able to get his job back. He hasn’t been the same since then. He used to be a very Zen guy but now he is troubled and loses his temper easily with kids. I also lose my temper with my kids but I’m a tiny woman, the effect is kind of like a squawking chicken. He’s scary. Plus I lose my temper because I’m trying to wrangle 28 of them for 7 hours a day. He works with small groups of 5-10 at a time and very occasionally with a whole class but for 20-45 minutes at a time. He gets frequent breaks and transitions between his duties, which for me would be ideal for my own stress level. But he has OCD and I think when things aren’t exactly like he wants them to be, he loses it.
Yesterday morning during reading groups he lost it at one of my boys. The boy got up to go to the bathroom while TA was giving instructions for the assignment. Side note: I’m that rare teacher who lets my 5th graders get up and go to the bathroom when they want without asking. It’s a human right to use the bathroom. If I notice a child leaving frequently and I suspect it’s to get out of working, I counsel them privately. (Sometimes it is that, most of the time I find out abuela made dinner way too spicy and they have diarrhea 😅)
Anyway, just the way he raised his voice and chastised the boy to come back was scary to me. It unsettled the group of kids I was working with, they looked uncomfortable. I felt upset because the boy in question is a very good child. I tried to brush it off, but he snapped twice more at other children for fiddling with their pencils.
My kids went to an assembly right after and I sought out the principal. I told her my concerns and she said other teachers had said similar things but it was pretty scattered. I’m the only teacher who sees him so consistently. She had me write it up and then she talked to him, and told him to go home for the rest of the day.
He tearfully came up to me during lunch and asked if I had told. I admitted I had and he said he understood, but he looked so resigned and miserable. He texted me later that he didn’t think he was fit to teach. I responded that he was just in a low place mentally and needed to try to get that sorted out. I understand because I suffered from bad post partum depression two years ago. I cried in the classroom almost every day, and ended up spending Christmas break in a mental health unit to get stabilized because I was suicidal. I had told my principal (a former one) that I was struggling badly but he just brushed me aside. This is why I wanted to step it up and get the boss involved. I WISH a coworker had said “she’s losing it” and I was encouraged to take some time off.
But I can’t help thinking that what I did was somewhat assholeish. Should I have talked to him first? I’ve been talking to him and trying to give him advice for months. And part of my motivation, honestly was that I’m tired of him wasting all my planning time (the snatches of time I have while the kids are out at recess or at specials) wanting to talk and vent to me about his problems. I need that time to get prepared for lessons because I try to avoid taking work home with me. Between working a tutoring job and a commute, I get about two good hours with my son on weekdays and then two hours to myself at home. I don’t want to spend that time lesson planning. But I have been because I can’t work with him talking to me. So partially I was fed up with that, and part of me was genuinely concerned for him unselfishly.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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LGGYKRSsBAYKjW646Edvj4Rr8qbHSZWA | b754rg | null | AITA love triangle or some shit | So i really like this girl, we'll call her rosy. Shes says part of her wants a relationship with me. She likes this other dude we'll call david. I inadvertently keep hurting her, like when i told her how i felt. She was really upset by that and suggested we just be friends. That came to pass and we stayed how we were. 4 days ago we were making out and cuddling up and life was good, 3 days ago she asked to see an old friends dick right in front of me and i nearly reported him to the police because i kniw he has naked pics of her when she was a minor on his phone and in my country thats still illegal. So 2 days ago i stayed over hers, we didnt have sex but we were both naked, making out. Today her and Ant kissed right in front of me and i feel like my heart has been ripped out because i really like her. Am i the asshole for jusy wanting her to myself? I just want to be loved but in a really pathetic way, I'd rather feel this torture over feeling nothing at all.
I tried killing myself over this and i dont know where to turn | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
bqrFi7PHzFeLHLiEOTpyMqhQCGQtj0uB | amct7a | {
"description": "getting annoyed at the way my girlfriend talks to other guys",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For getting annoyed at the way my girlfriend talks to other guys? | So I’m not even sure if this works here but I need advice
So me and my girlfriend have been together for a maybe a couple of months and recently I’ve just started to get upset at the way she talks to my friends. She’s so chatty and energetic when talking to all my friends but when she talks to me it’s so much quieter and like she doesn’t even wanna be there. Recently we were walking around and she was basically silent and hardly engaging in my conversation and then the moment we ran into a friend she perked up and began initiating conversation and seemed a lot happier. When I asked her about this she got mad at me saying that it’s “comfortable silence” and that I shouldn’t even care how she acts around other dudes coz we’re dating.
Is it wrong to be upset at her over this kind of stuff? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
BWgowRTV0EBMBg9lga6QSdfvznx1aSaw | 9ysetg | null | AITA - Sprayed a girl in my class, got in a conflict. | First post, let me know if I had missed something
​
During the last class there was a girl next to me who was really annoying and I couldn't concentrate on the teacher, but after a while she sprayed me with water, but I just laughed it off because it wasn't that bad just a little water on my shirt.
After the class ended I started to put everything away when somebody sprayed that girl because she left he bottle on her table, so I thought why shouldn't I spay to get revenge, so I did. After that she grabbed the bottle out of my hand and I let her have it, I just looked at what happened just as a joke.
But she started violently spraying me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't and it was cold outside, I didn't want to go home soaked so I rushed in on her, tried to grab the bottle, (though I tried to be careful, I didn't want to cause any injuries or pain to her as there were some people that saw it, mostly biased in her favor and I just don't like fighting at all) but I failed to so I started to screw off the bottle cap which I did and water started flowing out but she managed to save some. I retreated a few meters back as I just wanted to make her stop, she rushed me and poured the water on me, I grabbed her and slapped her on the head from behind twice, not strong just basically saying to stop.
The others who saw this started questioning me of how do I dare to hit a girl etc.: I just grabbed my stuff, (my jacket and my jeans were wet, my backpack is waterproof so no problems with that ) and went home.
I'm 13 if that matters, and if anybody got tips how should I resolve this situation the best possible way or got any questions let me know in the comments. Thanks. | HISTORICAL | {
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Urz4iU8GpExCgNZaVvl3XT7EINlW6wl6 | ah5kj7 | {
"description": "asking my wife to give me some time after our arguments",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA because I ask my wife to give me some time after our arguments? | We don't fight a lot, just your normal arguments here and there. Once in a while it gets to the point where we don't speak to each other after our arguments because I want to be left alone. I take this time to calm down and usually I'm ok the next day.
We had an argument last night because she got home after work and started getting mad and upset with me because I didn't take out the trash. I told her I was sorry because I didn't see it when I got home. I told her she shouldn't come home and start having an argument over the smallest things. I stopped talking to her and went to sleep. she tried to talk to me and I ignored her.
Today she came home after work and said that we shouldn't go to sleep upset with each other. she said I can have 5 hours to chill and then talk to her about the argument we had.
so tell me, am I the asshole here because I don't want to talk and resolve the issue right away? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"RIGHT": 8,
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zBuoz3exYDknfrkRZdvmAQDfeOVzcmyN | b6wkk9 | null | AITA? | A little bit about me before I start: I’m a high school student right now, and I haven’t really had the best relationships in the past, so I’m more focused on my studies. I’m also a panromantic girl, and often joke with friends about being lonely even though I’m not interested in dating.
This year, I met a girl, let’s call M, in marching band. We quickly became friends as we shared a lot in common, including playing the same instrument. Football season ended months ago, but we still talked as we had lunch period together, and I hung out with her as much as possible.
She’d always joked about dating me, but I’d never really thought much of it until recently. She also spoke of a crush on another person, so it never struck me that she might’ve been flirting.
About three weeks ago, she decided to come over and hang out, much to my disappointment. She was a good friend and all, but really tiring to be around for more than a few hours, but I decided I might be wrong, and invited her over. We had a good time, and agreed to hang out again the next weekend.
On the Friday before we were set to hang out, she started flirting with me. A lot. I grew more and more uncomfortable, as this was during lunch where we sat with a bunch of my other friends, so I tried to shut her down, literally yelling that “I’m not gay for you”.
I don’t call off her coming over the next day, telling her to come at noon, and leave at four. You can imagine my surprise when she came at 10am, and my parent were no where near ready to listen to her yelling, so we went on a walk in a nearby forest.
I love walking through these forests, and I know them like the backs of my hands, yet she was all too adamant to physically help and lift me over fallen trees or steep hills etc. She also kept calling me “baby” and “honey” which really put me off, but whatever, she’s just playing around, right?
Well, we head back home about half an hour later, and decide to watch a movie. My living room has a small couch, a large couch, and a recliner, and I like sitting on the small couch on my own. But no. She decides to sit right next to me, to the point where I’m practically sitting on the arm of the couch to have personal space.
Throughout the time she hung out with me, she’d constantly flirt with me, often even forcing herself onto me and clinging to me like we were dating. I don’t remember the exact things she said, but I do remember some of them making my stomach churn.
The next day, I consulted my friend about this, and she agreed I should ignore her, as when she met M, M was very focused on me the whole time, and was constantly looking at me inappropriately. I told all of my other friends about this as well, and now we all ignore and don’t talk to her. I’ve blocked her on everything and deleted her number, but she always asks me why I don’t respond to her.
I don’t like being mean to people, but she just makes me really uncomfortable, so I don’t associate with her anymore. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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uZWUJBbszRoi1L0z0nFMtmfvaSDO89mT | b6x5lj | {
"description": "giving tissues to people who didn't ask for one",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA if I gave tissues to people who didn't ask for one? | The hardest part of college is having to sit next to people who refuse to get up and blow their nose. Would I be the asshole of I bought a bunch of those little packs of tissues and gave it to them so they'd maybe get the hint? If that is assholish, how would you tell them in the nicest way to blow their got darn nose? We arent 5. People shouldn't have to be told to blow their nose. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
GKA7o5Txu39cBsAWAZGkb237kZOcW9r9 | auez7l | {
"description": "ending a long term friendship/relationship",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For ending a long term friendship/relationship | Right before college my ex broke up with me (we where on good terms at the end of it) so we stayed friends, during my first weeks in college I start speaking to a girl. My ex (we'll call jay for this) brings up in casual conversation if I've made any friends in college (as we'd gone to seperate ones), I say yes and mention this girl, jay then immediately gets in a mood and says she'll speak to me later.
Around 8pm she texts me saying that breaking up was a mistake and that if we don't see anyone by the end of the year and still feel the same way we should get back together (this was at the beginning of November) I say sure, and of course the class is too big and this girl I was speaking to gets moved to class B with different days and such, so that plan goes out the window.
During the period of November to January I would ask if she would want to meet up after college to hang out and get food or something, and every single time I would get hit with a "I have too much work I'm sorry) but then she'd post on Snapchat her hanging with friends or going out and getting food and generally not being busy with that work. I then tell her I think we should stop talking as shes clearly avoiding me. (this is where it gets good) me telling her this then sets of a chain reaction of her bringing up all my past and using it against me to make me feel bad, she brings up how I should start cutting myself again and how I'll be a loner again because apparently she saved me from having no friends. She then posts all of my personal life into her Snapchat for everyone to see. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
06y7xqOqp5eCr94C71c1xE8Az5AraOB1 | b3en34 | {
"description": "not thinking its appropriate for someone in a relationship to hangout with a single person of the other gender",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 55
} | AITA: I dont think its appropriate for someone in a relationship to hangout with a single person of the other gender. | I was having a conversation with some friends and I said that I wouldn't be ok with my wife meeting and hanging out with a guy thats single 1on1 (I still wouldnt like the fact if he was married as well) . I feel as though its inoppropite being in a relationship. Its not too serious of a matter because my wife agrees (being the roles be reversed), but my friends turned their noses up at me and I wanted an judgement. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 55,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 55
} | WRONG |
N5myW9z6XKghnGHh8byhI6ucfNrfGF0R | as6lap | {
"description": "not giving a little boy his cat back",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving a little boy his cat back? | This woman (TW for The Woman from here on out) I’m kind of familiar with had 5 cats. She posted about how she was going to have to “get rid” of one because he was terrorizing the other cats, trying to play and taking it too far. I thought he was adorable, so after a couple days I messaged her, asking about the cat. TW told me nobody had wanted him, and if she couldn’t find anyone to take him she was going to take him out to a back road and dump him. So of course I took the cat.
Fast forward to now, almost a month later. His name is Stub and he’s an adorable, affectionate, pain in my ass. I ended up getting a kitten for him to play with, and they get along great. :) The other day, I got a random text from TW, asking me if she could have the cat *back* because apparently, her seven year old son couldn’t accept that he’d “run away” as she’d told him, and was inconsolable about it. She claimed he was still leaving cat food out and calling the cats name in the backyard at night, and just really laid it on thick. I haven’t responded yet. I want to figure out the best way to tell her I’m not giving the cat back, no matter how much her kid cries. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zOEgs3R4xtshwD5VApFRIsGcgi6WOgWx | ba917i | null | AITA Daughter's Girl Scout Troop and Gold Awards | My kid is in her final year of Girl Scouts, one of the few senior scouts in our area. She and two other girls proposed projects for their Gold Awards - equivalent to a Boy Scout Eagle. Because the scout office sat on her proposal for weeks, she went ahead and completed what she had committed to do without approval (it was time sensitive). Girl Scout official six hours away now says her project isn't enough to earn the Gold Award. Too bad. So sad. The other two girls finished similar projects and will earn their golds. Their projects while not identical, were roughly equivalent in hours worked, effort, value to parts of our community, etc. We also helped as needed for them to complete their projects. Not angry at the girls. Very happy with what my daughter accomplished and the work she did, but kind of pissed about lack of support from the Girl Scout organization and yes, it is unfair. The Gold Award could affect scholarship opportunities, she did the work and she earned the recognition. If she was a boy scout there would be no question about the award btw. The girls and parents have decided individually and as a whole to not be a part of any celebration through the regional office and will not support the Girl Scouts in the future because of bad management and lack of support. Now the troop leader is proposing we have our own banquet with the girls and families to celebrate their awards, but I want to skip this event. My daughter is capable of making her own decision on whether to go or not. AITA because I don't want to celebrate their gold awards? Or should we say good job and applaud for them? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 3,
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MYhCdcFKu8Ws5DU1GDZy6CczzVDrzIPr | apl0j1 | {
"description": "ratting out the guy my friend was dating",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA - I ratted out the guy my friend was dating | Okay, this is my first time ever posting to reddit actually so please be understanding, thx <3
So, I have this friend, let's just call her Stephanie who has a boyfriend named Raoul (yes, the names are fake). Through a weird turn of events I end up dating Raoul's sister, Eve.
Raoul has a serious gambling addiction. No joke with the word addiction, guy lost 200$ on a single soccer ticket. He can fuel his addiction because of his parents who are a rather wealthy bunch. Stephanie has had many arguments with Raoul about this problem of his but they worked it out everytime. Raoul apologized and promised he would never do it again, and Stephanie believed him for some reason.
One day, dude loses all of his money at slots or whatever and his sister has to loan him some money. Eve does exactly so and lends him some money and after some more fighting with Raoul everything seems fine. However, Eve tells me a few days later that he actually went and gambled all of the money he got from her as well and she had to lend him more BUT THEY NEVER TOLD STEPHANIE. They didn't tell her because they were both sure at this point that she was gonna' break up with him for this one, it was already too much.
Obviously I wanted to tell Stephanie the moment i found out but I was held back by two things, one, it really wasnt my place to invade their relationship and two, Eve would've probably broken up with me as well if i would've told her.
Fast forward two months after this, I've been broken up with Eve for a while now out of a completely different reason, and I remember this thing. I go and tell Stephanie everything about what happened.
TL;DR I ratted out this dude my friend was dating that was keeping the fact that he gambled again hidden right after having an argument about his gambling addiction with her.
My questions are ... Was I an asshole for getting involved? Was I an asshole for keeping this hidden from Stephanie because Eve would've broken up with me if i told her? Should I have kept my mouth shut or should I have told her sooner? Just any kind of opinions and judgement would be much appreciated, I'm really curious about other people's opinions considering how I've already done it and there's no changing what I did anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
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"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
P0YoD9Ru46YXwGc9RAS7tSinWfZgxLwv | b4ne11 | {
"description": "firing a guy who just found out he had cancer",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for firing a guy who just found out he had cancer? | I was a supervisor for some years at a local manufacturing plant with a strict policy on attendance. This happened within days of me getting my promotion.
I took over a department that had been without supervision for a while and as such was in pretty bad shape. The employees were basically running wild because they had been able to do whatever they wanted for the better half of a year, including missing as many days as they wanted with no repercussions. This is what I walked into. I immediately started doing warnings for attendance and other issues to try and get the department in line. One employee (I'll call him K) I wrote up when I first started had missed several more days than were allowed according to policy, and the only reason I didn't fire K was because no one had written him up about his excessive absences. In my write up, I explained that if K was late, or missed any more days his employment would be terminated. Two days later, K came in 2 hours late. I brought him to HR and terminated his employment as I had promised. As I was walking K out he told me that it was pretty messed up that I had fired him the day he found out he had cancer, that i had basically killed him by taking away the health insurance needed to fight it. I had some discretion to cut him some slack, but didn't, even though I felt bad. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
WWjUoN7sunRBO3vkmEcj2Y6zJSYNgXlp | akfqyh | {
"description": "being upset that my friend didn't tell me about his serious relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being upset that my friend didn't tell me about his serious relationship? | I started an internship a few months ago. Myself (female) and another intern (male) clicked super fast as friends. We’re both new to the city. He’s always seemed very relaxed at work, but at the same time pretty private. A guy he has always called his friend has picked him up from work a few times and stopped by after work drinks to hang out, but they’ve always left quickly. Anyways, my coworker and I have gotten closer over the last few months. One drunk night a few weeks ago he told me he had questioned his sexuality a lot. So the next time I saw him with his “friend”, I asked him later if they were dating and he said yes. I was super happy for him, no big deal. He said he was relieved because he never knows how people will react and he doesn’t want to get too close to people before they know. Things have been smooth sailing since then.
So his boyfriend facebook-added me a week or so ago, and I did a little creeping the other day. I see that they’ve been posting couple pictures together for almost three years — I was a bit taken aback because I just thought they had just met and were casually dating. I don’t care so much, but I guess I feel hurt that I thought I was getting closer to him as a friend and he never thought to mention that they were in a very serious relationship, which just seems like something you tell your friends. I feel like I can’t really trust him now and sort of like I don’t know who he is if that makes sense? I asked our third close friend if she had known they had been dating that long and she said she didn’t even know they were dating at all, period (but that she been suspicious that they were). So I guess he’s just a pretty private person towards everyone, which made me feel a little better. and I know his personal life isn’t my business but I still feel hurt.
I texted today and jokingly said “Dude!! [third friend] and I had no idea you and [boyfriend] were so serious hahaha” and he just said “well it’s all over my social media haha, I just don’t like telling people out of nowhere”. I just that it was a good thing, that he and his boyfriend looked very happy but that I was just shocked. He didn’t respond but normally he would be very easygoing. I’m just wondering AITA and how should I proceed from here if I am, please knock some sense into me. I’m pretty sure I could’ve handled the situation a lot better but I’d like to know how specifically. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
5fDbVzVYmLN6rQ3niegDRjdmrrtqwpzR | b4wezf | {
"description": "asking one of my sisters best friends on a date",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I asked one of my sisters best friends on a date | Well, I guess I should give some backstory first. My sister has a friend, we'll call her Sam, and I've had a crush on her for a long time. I've always ignored it because I don't know what my sister would think about her brother dating one if her best friends. However, Sam and I have gotten close, and have a lot in common. We've also occasionally done small things like cuddle a bit when watching movies, though, I haven't been able to see how my sister feels about that. WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DxrDPw9qKWMenqwxoC8aBYH1fs1prbY2 | b0unft | {
"description": "telling my co-worker that he's creepy and annoying",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my co-worker that he's creepy and annoying? | I am a 23 year old female and I work in retail. My coworker (Let's call him Ron) is a tall and bulky 28 year old male. It's important to know that I'm really transparent and blunt, bordering on just mean, I suppose.
Ron the kind of guy who constantly insists that everyone loves him and that he's everyone's favorite person. I got a portrait tattoo and wouldn't stop telling me that it didn't look like him and I was supposed to get his face cuz he's my favorite. Obviously a joke, but more irritating than funny.
If you mention that you don't like a song, he'll pull it up on Spotify and sing to it until you leave.
He posted on Facebook that if you are more than 4 years younger than him there is an "intelligence gap" and he "doesn't care what you have to say". He tried to talk to me the next day and I told him that since I was more than 4 years younger than him, he shouldn't talk to me because of said intelligence gap. He told me I shouldn't take the things he says seriously.
Once he asked me if I thought he was datable. I told him to give me his ex girlfriend's phone numbers and I'd figure it out. He said that he's never been in a relationship longer than a couple months and that he's more of a "side guy who gets the job done when your man can't." And I basically called him a fuckboy. I see him flirting with our underage cashiers frequently also.
Weeks later he asked me what I thought of him in front of another associate. I told him that he was kind of annoying. I think that was the first time I hurt his feelings a bit.
Today he was talking to a couple other co-workers and I heard him insists that I love him again or something and I told him the more he says that, the more I dislike him. He told me that he didn't care what I thought and that's just part of his personality. One of my male coworkers said "pushing yourself on people isn't a personality". Ron replied with "saying it like that makes me sound creepy, I'm not creepy".
That's where I said that he is indeed, creepy. He asked how and I told him "You seem like the guy who would stalk a girl until she got mad and told you to leave them alone". He seemed hurt and surprised by that and quickly left to go on lunch. After Ron left, the girl that he is training on sales for a day or two told me that he is really pushy.
I do feel really bad and I'm planning on apologizing for hurting his feelings, but I am not taking it back because that's how I truly feel. Am I the asshole for what I said? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lxxlijgSgL9tfPhJ5q9sFAUXjyaI9QKm | af4kz0 | {
"description": "not letting a family friend in to my apartment wjen she shows up to a party an hour early",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | WIBTA if I didn't let a family friend in to my apartment wjen she shows up to a party an hour early? | Background: My family is Jewish but not super religious. Every year, during the winter holidays, we have a Hanukkah party with my family and another family. Lately, I've hosted since I moved to a new apartment that's decently sized (New York, so not actually that big).
Story: Every single year, the party starts around 4-5 pm. However, this lady, we'll call her M (she's a part of the other family), always shows up an 1-2 hours before the start time. I wouldn't have such a problem with this if all she wanted to do was hang out in the living room, but M spends her time standing around in the kitchen and "helping". Basically, she stands around telling me how to cook certain things and I find it quite annoying, especially because I need to cook multiple things before the other guests arrive, and I really don't need the added stress.
My plan is that next Hanukkah party, when she shows up, I simply don't open the door. That way, she'll get the message that she's not welcome before the party actually starts.
My mom (the only person that I've proposed to his plan to) thinks that I'm an asshole because M it's an old lady and it would be cruel to leave her out in the New York cold.
TL;DR: I want to ignore an old lady when she comes to the door long before the party starts so that she gets the message that she's not welcome that early. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
ewdDmSGaUlpSohOMoBHBJWNU3WYlzeoZ | a3p61w | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my mom's concert",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for not wanting to go to my mom's concert | My mom is in a choir and I love my mom but i'm not a fan of choir music or church music in general. I was never forced to go to her concerts but like recently on my moms birthday she begged me to go to a concert with her, not of hers but similar music. Of course since it was her birthday I went. It was the most boring experience I ever had and all the small talk I had to do with my moms friends was awful and I was the only person under 30 there. I nearly fell asleep multiple times and just stared at my neighbors watch all the time because I didn't want my mom see me look at my phone for the time.
Now since I went with her to the concert she constantly asks me to go to her next concert and now I don't want to have this experience again and refused to go. My mom literally used the "you like music, so why don't you wanna go" line. Yeah...My dad tells me constantly what a bad person I am and my sister calls me an asshole. Does it make me an asshole? I know I'm not the "perfect son" but an asshole? Is it not normal that a young man doesn't want to go to a church music concert? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
Od1Y90fnmlYZClKAXqnG7dMZi1JzCu6d | b8l9iu | {
"description": "yelling at this guy ringing my doorbell multiple times and then walking down my driveway to take pictures of my neighbor's house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for yelling at this guy ringing my doorbell multiple times and then walking down my driveway to take pictures of my neighbor's house? | Now I want to start this off by saying that my lawn wraps around the side of my house. Our entire property is about 3/4 of an acre placed on an otherwise normal suburban street. The lawn goes all the way back and all the way around the back to the other side of the house, and the driveway is touching the entire lawn as well as my neighbor's house.
So this morning I had my alarms set for 9:15, 9:30 and 9:45 a.m. The first two go off, I'm five minutes back to sleep before my next alarm when I hear the doorbell ring. Then I went to look at my doorbell camera and this guy is standing there, doing nothing. Two minutes later he rings again, twice this time. Again we did nothing and he did nothing, this guy seems sketchy the way he apparently needs to talk to us. So he realizes we're not there or just not gonna come answer. So on the camera I watch him walk down the sidewalk about half way towards my driveway, stop, and then look down my lawn like he's trying to see what's behind my house. Then he walks down to my driveway where the view of the camera ends. So I get up to look out the window and lo and behold he walked halfway down my driveway, backed up into my lawn and started taking pictures of the neighbor's house. My mother is afraid of this man and whatever his intentions are.
So here I lost my cool. I banged on the window and started yelling at him, telling him "get the fuck off my lawn" and "who the fuck are you?" He thought my gestures telling him to get off the lawn meant, "come back to the door and let's talk about this." I had to leave for school and I'm not usually very confrontational but I had no choice except to confront him.
I opened the door and the first thing he did was reach out to shake my hand. I guess he knew I was too polite to refuse that. So I shook his hand and I said, "who the hell are you? You ring my doorbell three times, no one answers so you go down my driveway and start taking pictures of the neighbor's house?" Still a snarky tone because A. I'm confused as hell, and B. I'm just waking up. He explains everything. He says he's power washing the neighbor's house (I can see his company truck parked in front of their house) and he was simply coming to tell me that my car in the driveway would most likely get misted. Now that I think of it, he made no mention to whether or not he was going to tell me that he'd be on my property at any point. Anyway, my mood is easily manipulated by kindness. I immediately apologized and felt like a huge ass hole. He kept explaining til I got to my car and then I told him that he has a job to do so whatever is necessary just do it.
I don't think he had I'll intentions but I still think he handled it wrong. I think I handled it wrong too. What is my fate? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ZLHoZk4kqu1a2WxQuwYFuIa3s1XOR6FL | auzru4 | {
"description": "switching my birth control without telling my mom",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for switching my birth control without telling my mom | So I’m 17 and yesterday it was time for me to go get depo shot (every three months). I have been looking at the nexplanon implant (every 5 years) because I thought it would be more convenient and overall better.
I brought up the implant with my mom and she told me to wait until I’m 18 (3 months from now) and she wouldn’t even talk to me as to why I wanted it. That was it.
I went and during the appointment I asked if I could do the implant and they said they could do it for me and I went ahead and got it inserted (mom wasn’t there). When I told my mom she hung up the phone on me. She forgot about it and things were fine and when it was mentioned today she said she forgot about that and she was upset that I went and got it. I told her that it would be better for me to go ahead and get it now while I’m not working full time like I plan to be after I turn 18 in the summer and my arm can heal fine (I work retail and have to lift heavy cases and stuff).
She said she wanted to do ‘research on it’ and kept asking if I even knew the side effects which are no different that the depo shot.
I feel like she’s overreacting and mind you she has an IUD so I’m not too sure why she’s going so hard about it. What would’ve been the difference between now and 18? I’m not sure why she thinks I’m not allowed to make choices like these on my own.
Also I’m not sexually active or anything and she knows that. I just wanted something more long term.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 37,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 17,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
LaafssCib77cylBGVNOjBZO7PaAHUuym | afer4g | {
"description": "putting my neighbor's windshield wipers up during the snow",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for putting my neighbor’s windshield wipers up during the snow? | Hey all,
So this is pretty short. It was snowing when I got home last night, and I realized my neighbor’s windshield wipers were down. My neighbor and I share a driveway, so we park right to each other. I put mine up to keep them from freezing to the glass, and then I did the same to his Corolla to do him a solid. He texted me this morning pretty upset, basically told me not to touch his shit again. Fair enough.
I mean we’ve always gotten along pretty well. I wouldn’t necessarily say we’re *friends*, but we get along. Brief chit chat if we see each other in the driveway. He invited to his place when they threw a party for his girlfriend getting her green card. He does kickboxing in his basement, and we’ve trained in his basement a couple times. We don’t talk about much, but get along well enough. That’s why I figured he’d appreciate me doing that for him. No one likes their wipers frozen to the glass.
My first thought was you don’t want someone to miss with your shit in case they fuck something up, but he knows I’m a gear head. I mean hell I even put a new alternator into his Corolla for him because a mechanic wanted over $300 just to put the sob in.
I dunno. Yeah, in retrospect, texting him asking if he wanted me to put his wipers up would’ve been easy. It really just never crossed my mind | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
TqGXPi9dSLkXRLGKg1oOZ6zbkwRmYGPP | ahe6yq | {
"description": "working with a guy",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for working with a guy? | Okay this is gonna be weird and i hope it's allowed? My parents have been fighting about this and finally i was like; "you know what guys i have a perfect subreddit for this shit with unbiased feelings, let's see who's the asshole" so I'm sharing a side to determine it. So here it goes;
"I work two jobs, one in a nursing home and one at a school kitchen. They're jobs i have to have to sustain my household since I'm the only working person in it. (Asides from my wonderful and perfect daughter who helps out anyway she can but it's still not quite enough)
These jobs are typically female driven jobs where i don't have to worry about it, but at my nursing job, a man started working there.
My boyfriend is a pretty aggressive person, he's constantly accusing me of cheating and lying and all else. When this man started working at the nursing home, i kept it to myself for my safety.
But eventually he did find out, and now we're in this lasting fight where I'm constantly being called a lying bitch.
So am i the asshole for not telling him? Should i have quit my job? Be honest Reddit!"
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LmhSzuGkdO3rTOiZdeb0ATeeIXvL9aU4 | ag8h96 | {
"description": "calling someone out for calling the Ferguson police officer a \"hideous monster\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for calling someone out for calling the Ferguson police officer a “hideous monster”? | This was obviously years ago but it still bothers me every once in a while. One of my friends posted a long eulogy on Facebook about how terribly monstrous the police officer was. I simply made the argument that even police officers are human and are subject to errors/mistakes and got instantly annihilated by multiple people for it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
Pb0bsPxLYI3FdD5YEcGOyqFZEJ4xbzt5 | axv3a4 | {
"description": "not helping my co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not helping my co-worker? | It's a 2 man team. We used to have very defined roles. I am the leader of the team. My job is more general, strategic and creative, while hers is fairly mundane.
Recently she made some improvements to her output, which increased the time needed to do it. And at one meeting where management commented on her output, resulting in her having to use EVEN more time to do it. So she asked if i could take over a process, which took about 1 hour per week. I was taken by surprise and pity came over me so i agreed. On hindsight i shouldn't have.
Ever since then, she had been trying to push more and more of her jobscope to me. It would be fine if it was a once off favor but she is basically trying to offload a few regular processes to me.
I am responsible for the results of the team and if she is tardy, we cannot hit our KPI, i'm the one who has to face the music.
I just can't stand having to constantly reject her request to offload regular processes to me. When i reject her she tries to argue and finally end off with "k fine i'll do it" when it was her jobscope to begin with.
Should i suck it up and help her to achieve overall results or just her her be to be fair to myself? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
M2yRO577LzldqjXG4RbmGA2Gqu0dNors | ajwnzj | {
"description": "lying to my housemate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for lying to my housemate? | I (M) live with two female housemates, and we're all friends and generally get along fine however me and housemate A (Jade) have a pretty close relationship which housemate B (Sarah) often comments on and we can tell that sometimes she feels a bit like the third wheel.
Sarah has also made a few comments about me and Jade being more than just friends and is convinced that we have non-platonic feelings for each other which we don't, we're just really close friends.
Anyway with this in mind, Jade and I were at home drinking and one thing led to another and Jade and I ended up (very drunkenly) sleeping together. We were both extremely drunk at this stage so honestly my memory of how it even started is hazy. It was absolutely just a one-off drunken thing and after a few days of awkwardness things went back to normal and it didn't have any lasting impact on our friendship. We both decided that given Sarah's suspicions and feeling of being left out that it would be best not to tell her about our little mistake, especially since it was just a one-off thing.
Fast forward a couple of months and while Sarah and I are talking the subject of mine and Jade's relationship comes up. Sarah makes a comment hinting at me and Jade having slept together. Given she had showed no signs of knowing and hadn't said anything about it previously we had assumed she hadn't heard anything so I told her that Jade and I were just friends and nothing sexual had happened between us. Sarah said she doesn't believe me, and I continued to deny it. Eventually she tells me that she heard us getting it on and knows that we have in fact had sex.
So now Sarah is mad at me for lying to her. I understand that lying to her face like that was wrong, but I honestly felt that it was best for everyone involved to keep her in the dark about it, and couldn't see any benefit in her knowing. I've explained this to her but she's still angry at me for lying.
So, AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
fwtSixHQbHD2SjhKkcsaqeeGHL5g3aGk | b8t2so | {
"description": "asking my neighbors to take down their windchimes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my neighbors to take down their windchimes? | So I live in an apartment and the people in the building next to me either just decided to put up no less than 5 sets of windchimes on their balcony. Their balcony is maybe 15 feet from my bedroom window, and I like to sleep with the window open, but hate the sound of those chimes. Am I being an asshole to ask them to remove them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uBtyrVLjCDazx7CwKlWiKi9uW06wzsVW | aa6k1m | null | AITA, Went off on a lady who had spent all day in a nursing home with her dying mother? | Let me explain: Stopped in to my local fast food place on my way home from work. Was standing in line behind a lady who was being incredibly rude to every worker in sight. The workers were doing their best to be polite and this lady kept riding them. "Them fries better be fresh!" "Sure is taking long enough" At one point as the worker was putting a burger in the bag she asked the guy in the back "this is no ketchup right?" The lady says "better not have ketchup on it." At this point I had had enough. I finally said "Lady, there is no reason to be treating this people this way. They are trying to get your food to you fresh and make sure its correct." She turns to me and says "Listen, I have spent all day today in a nursing home with my dying mother. I'm not in the mood for any of this." I responded with "first off I'm sorry to hear about your mother but that doesnt give you the right to go around disrespecting whoever you feel like. These people may be in a customer service role right now but they are no less of a person than you are and you have no idea what problems they may be facing!" By this time the worker brought the lady's food to her and she snatched it and took off while mumbling stuff under her breath. I feel bad that her mother is dying and I may have just added to her bad day. If I am the asshole I'd like you to know I got a free apple pie with my order so theres that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
D1hs3iOFvWHqaMVwrG2jZ8ISjlYyUbQ1 | 9wb5vc | {
"description": "calling police on neighbor for letting their cat roam at night unattended in",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for calling police on neighbor for letting their cat roam at night unattended in 30F? | Been having an issue with neighbors (2 of them) who let their cats roam. Been an on going issue for a couple of years. I have raised the issue in the past with the HOA (who has given warnings) and local animal control (also given warnings).
On Saturday, neighbor 1 (who is the most egregious offender) posted to a local FB group that their cat is missing. I looked in my home security camera events (which is constantly catching the cat walking past my door), and last event was from Thursday afternoon. It snowed overnight Thursday (about an inch on the ground, still some left). In the FB post comments, neighbor 1 says cat was last seen Thursday afternoon. They said they have checked other shelters with no luck. My fear is the cat, left out overnight, died.
Tonight, Sunday, I am driving home and I see a cat outside. It's dark, so I go to look. Take a few pictures of it roaming around. It is neighbor's 2 cat. It is 9:30pm, very little light, and currently 30 degrees F.
I called the police non-emergency, and sat in my car for around an hour waiting for the officer to show up. I showed the officer pictures of the cat outside my house, explained the story of the other missing cat, and pointed out that the owner's garage door is still currently partially open (enough to allow the cat to get back in when it wants to return home).
My issue with this is strictly the well-being of the cats. It is dark outside, there's cars and other predators, and it is cold enough for snow to be on the ground still.
So, am I the asshole? (Doesn't really matter what is said, I'm filing a formal complaint tomorrow morning.) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
atrObHyAp9DIE3cZQgb6wPOgw1ODH3YO | apifxz | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend to have an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend to have an abortion? | I just started dating my girlfriend for a month, meeting in December. We both live in different countries, but flights are cheap and we plan to get her to move to my country to study in September and plan a trip to Asia in the summer, sounds like it will be great. I went to visit her in January and she got pregnant . I told my family who haven't met her yet and they were furious, how I fucked up etc. while her family supports her no matter what. My family thinks it's all a big visa scam, that the kid probably isn't mine.
Neither of us are ready and she was planning to visit this week, I booked a nice airbnb and a trip around my country since she has never been. She has depression and many issues, I don't care but it affects her decisions, saying that I could leave and die but she would still have our kid. I was so anxious for days and I sat her down in a bar and explained I cannot support her in my country with a kid, it will be a challenge as it is. I have an internship and my freelance work barely let's me afford anything, and I live with my parents. I said I can send money to her and visit but I physically have no way to support her and a kid in my country but I wouldn't abandon her. I explained my travel surprise and bought her a nice dinner to cheer her up, she explained to her family that I am in no position and watching me so worried and anxious made her choose.
I feel awful for telling her she can't have it, she was so happy for one and I feel I am dashing her dreams. I said to her I can support one when I have a stable job etc. but now my parents don't like her and I want them to meet her as my girlfriend before even considering kids.
TL;DR I explained to my girlfriend I cannot support a child now and would have to send her money to her home country until I' stable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
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