id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
MxOSKKJKXPQJKW23tIgCE7tuHwdQslYR | 9xcws9 | {
"description": "cheating on my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | AITA For cheating on my girlfriend? | I know the title seems obvious and a little clickbaity, but there is much more nuance to it.
Also as a disclaimer this is something that happened a few years ago, but I still get roasted for it by my friends because it turned into such a big thing, so I am looking to settle this once and for all.
So I was seeing this girl that I worked with. We would meet up and hang out a couple times a week, go do something fun then go back to my place and have sex. For me it was just a good time, but not something I took too seriously. There was never any intimate talks about our relationship or our exclusivity. During this 2 months or so of this going on, I ended up meeting up with and hooking up with a couple other girls.
Eventually she finds out (it wasn't going out of my way to try and hide it from her because to me there was no exclusivity expectations) and absolutely explodes about me "cheating" on her and breaks up with me. Our entire work finds out about it and most of them turn on me. Apparently she had been telling them for awhile that we were boyfriend and girlfriend so it seemed that everyone knew this fact except me.
This is still something that I get occasionally roasted on by my friends, so let's hear it. Am I the asshole for not assuming exclusivity? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 22
} | WRONG |
CUoZsQ3v4f4Brk3ntv7Mr4Mhfj6m15aD | aiz8a5 | {
"description": "telling a girl I am gay when she is yelling at me for staring at her",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for telling a girl I am gay when she is yelling at me for staring at her? | The nipple showing not telling story made me think of that particular episode.
I was running on the treadmill, minding my own business. After 1h, out of all the possible areas, stretching room included, a girl decides to stretch in front of me.
Now she could have been stretching sideways but no, she had to bend in front of me and show me her butt. And I know for a fact the stretching area was empty because it was Saturday at 8 in the morning and 5 people total were lifting.
After a while she started yelling at me for "looking at her" blabla. I said (maybe not my proudest moment) that being gay (am not but I thought this approach would be smart) I was less interested by her butt but more by the mismatch between her top and her short.
And then two guys wanted to fight me for looking at a girl and staring at her butt while she stretches. I am not shaming her etc, but at some point if you wear bright cloths and stretch like this in front of a guy, he is meant to look at some point (and i mean look, not stare). At least for me i was just because something bright was moving in front of me (I am actually diagnosed with a mild autism and this kind of "flashy stuffs moving" always attracted me. Bright ones scares the shit out of me tho). And since I knew it was a girl I tried not to stare. But she was directly in front of me and to breath and finish my session correctly I was looking in that direction, not in particular at her. And since I did not have my glasses she was blurry anyway.
A coach intervened saying he knew me and my fiancee and there was no way I was staring at her since I am me and I did not have my glasses.
They left and end of the story with them.
And when I was home I told the story to my fiancee who agreed with me, but many of my girl friends ( most of them being hardcore feminists) told me I was an asshole for how I handled it. I made her feel conscious of her body and her cloths at the gym, where she was vulnerable.
To me it was a mooh point and a loose loose situation for me. I should have maybe stopped running on that treadmill and move on an other one. But why should I do that? I was first. Don't want to be looked at don't do that.
And that made me self conscious for being a male (irony here) and autistic (No joke here) because I know I looked despite trying not to. And she was therefore imposing me to fuck up my end of session ( had planed on running 1h30 that day) for her own pleasure.
To me she chose to come here. And since I was not creeping she had no standing yelling or getting mad. What would be the next step anyway? If a girl enters a mixed jacuzzi or sauna the guys have to leave?
So... AITA? What could I have done differently? Is there something I missed?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 15
} | RIGHT |
Tp3PD9dvhaTgyW3GWcjx2EUZMjG8xzIj | b4obl8 | {
"description": "leaving a restaurant because of family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for leaving a restaurant because of family | I'm never good at shorthand titles. So I'll preface this with this: I'm limited contact with most of my family because...well outside of my sister, I pretty much loathe them and hate the fact people tell me I need to keep contact 'because they're family'. I won't get into every detail, but, part of what's relevant to this; my mom used to try egging my brother on to insult me for hours on end and I'm not allowed to do anything and still get called things like "The incredible sulk" Simply for being apathetic since any reaction would make it worse and just leaving.
So, my mother woke me up (I stayed up to 6:00 last night) with a phone call asking since my brother was free today if we'd all like to go dutch and go to Texas Roadhouse for lunch. I don't know why I said yes, but I did. She offered to drive. (bad idea I guess). We go there, everything's fine. For a while.
I don't remember how this conversation started, but my brother ended up saying that the GIF argument is "Jif" simply because the owner said it was, I should have kept my mouth shut because I remembered an article someone said that when it comes to acronyms there's two different forms, and I can't remember the terms but one was where you pronounce the entire acronym as an already existing word such as C.A.T. would just be 'cat' and anything else is pronounced in the most similar way to make it most relevant to the words it's abbreviating (so in this case, since Graphic is a hard g it should be 'Ghif' if C.A.T stood for Charlie, it'd be pronounced Chat.) Long explanation but I was simply about to state something to that effect before I get shouted over as I only spoke a few words by my brother, then my mom joins in, and I once again try to speak up only for them both to shout over me.
Then my brother said loud enough a lot of people were turning their heads towards us "You've been looking it up for 10 minutes! (I wasn't even looking it up at all nor had this even been 5 minutes, but it was just 5 minutes of them yelling back and forth that I was stupid and can't let things go even though after the first two attempts I didn't say a single word.) Just let it go, you're wrong, end of story! It's JIF" since...ya know, at this point it was my mom and him talking back and forth to egg each other on at my expense.
AS he does this, they finally bring our order to the table, but instead of eating I just walked out, and the only thing I remember hearing my mom say is "There he goes, overreacting again" Even though I left quietly.
I know some might view it as an overreaction but I was tired of it, and even then, the food I ordered may have went unpaid for. I don't know. I spent the next 1.5 hours walking home since my mom drove and I didn't want to call an uber.
Nobody texted or tried to call me either so I can only assume what was said about me.
So, did I overreact and am I the asshole for leaving especially since I didn't pay? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gUak4TMKr3yqJQnL8PUmHhBDQRzgg6Mj | 9ztk7u | {
"description": "cutting someone out of my life for being racist",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cutting someone out of my life for being racist | The someone is my dad and he is very racist he even sympathizes with the kkk and made a very racist joke yesterday that I just snapped at him for and kind of decided I was done. there are multiple other reasons and past things that I won’t get to into but basically this is the last straw but I do feel conflicted as he is my dad at the end of the day and he is kind of a good person? And he gave the typical it’s a different generation thats how i grew up excuse. (He was born in the 80’s) Should someones personal views stop me from having them in my life even though I disagree with them strongly? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1PA6PgdFgnyb1zevGTRH8Ha41dUL1KIV | b4kkpu | {
"description": "not being in the mood for sex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not being in the mood for sex | I usually tell my SO I am off my period a week after I actually finished bleeding because sometimes I still have some spotting episodes. To just avoid having sex while I'm accidentally bleeding, I just tell him a week later.
On Monday my SO and I had some plans for some sexy time. We were supposed to go two rounds but after our first round where I gave him oral he ended up falling asleep. No sexy times insued after.
The same day he acquires a new video game. It's not a problem until I start feeling in the mood but he just won't put the controller down.
I work 6 nights And I am on my feet 100% of the time. I usually get home very exhausted and paired with all the chores I have to do on the daily, I feel like if he would help out a little i wouldn't be so frustrated.
Also I work nights so I get home fairly early (around 2) in the morning. He is sometimes on it until way after I have fallen asleep and it's morning time.
I have absolutely no problem with it at all, unless we made plans to have sex then yes I would feel annoyed.
Last night, he finally stopped playing his game. And we were watching a movie. In the movie they were making sexual innuendos and he turned and looked at me and said "what about sex stuff? ;)" (I think he was being sexually suggestive).
But I guess I'm dumb because I can't read cues. And he wasn't being straight up.
And he had already ruined my mood since the beginning of this week.
Fast forward to this morning,
He asks me how I'm doing and I tell him I'm starting to feel my period pains coming (heavy breasts and hurting lower back). And he said "I swear you just got off your period. I don't know what's going on with you"
So now I feel really bad and targeted. I can't control my body from doing what it's supposed to do. I feel so frustrated and annoyed. I want to cry but somehow I feel like it's just my hormones messing with me.
AITA for not being in the mood or in sync with him when he's ready to have sex? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
hKuVHK8FqsIZPUFXunB5J1EpIFdUl6Op | a21257 | {
"description": "wanting to yell at my sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to yell at my sister? (Really Long Post) | My sister and I have been close since we have gone through a lot of things together (Parents divorcing before either of us were even ten, abusive step dad. etc.) But for the past year or so, she’s been an idiot. Because I don’t want to involve politics, i’ll just say this: If she’s losing a debate, instead of resorting to a normal solution like just sighing and walking away or admitting defeat, she says some bullshit like “You know what? You can shut up.” Or other immature responses. At this point I should probably mention she is in her third year of high school.
She is incapable of understanding how to accept a counter argument. For one example, when we were in a debate over text, we have debates often due to us having different political opinions, she provided sources from websites who make up their data, and I showed legitimate and trustworthy websites. At this point, I can’t handle it anymore, I just want to scream and yell at her, the politics are one things, but there’s a slew of other things that I get mad at her for; Lying problem which she hasn’t fixed, not thinking twice, hears what she want to hear, etc. AITA for just not wanting to deal with her BS anymore, even though this may break the trust that we’ve had with each other for over a decade? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iiQ4SEgWIHnA8GFovAQ3CRBWiDHbxndn | as3lka | {
"description": "telling my mom I don't like a present",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my mom I don't like a present? | I live overseas. It was my birthday recently and my mom sent me a gift which is not to my taste at all (it's a fur hat, and not only does the fact that it's real fur make me a little sad, the design is kind of ugly).
When I talked to my mom on the phone before now she said she'd spent ages picking it out and she was really excited for me to see it, but also that if I didn't like it I could let her know and she would wear it.
Would I be the asshole if I told my mom I didn't like it and I could send it back for her to wear? Should I pretend to like it and bring it over when I eventually see them? Do I say nothing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0kmh0HUAQmflCf4XLu2XnPcswd9HHYMY | at6h8b | {
"description": "trying to change the date of a Bachelor Party",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Trying to Change the Date of a Bachelor Party |
I’m the Best Maid in a wedding tasked with planning the bachelor party. We first discussed a date and threw ideas around about a month ago. At that time the groom was working retail as a manager and said he has a really hard time taking weekends off. As such, we decided to plan the party for a Wednesday to accommodate his needs. Two party members were glad for this decision because they also work retail/service and also have an easier time taking off during the week compared to the weekend. Other party members and friends to be invited work regular Mon-Fri, 9-5 jobs (myself included). Some of them are even coming in from out of state. But we all agreed we could take vacation time to make it work to make sure the groom’s needs were met.
​
About a week and a half ago he informs our friend group (in general) that he’s applying for an office job. I halted planning because I knew if he got it he would probably prefer a Saturday over a Wednesday (I also knew he'd probably get it since I used to work there and a mutual friend still does and recommended him). Yesterday he found out he got the job. He’s super excited and relieved to escape retail hell, and I’m super happy for him, too! But this means he now does the M-F, 9-5 grind and that the Wednesday is no longer convenient for him at all. I asked him if he’d like us to move it to a Saturday and he said yes please.
​
So I contacted the group to say, “Hey, since the groom’s job situation has changed I think it’s best to move the party date to that Saturday instead.” As a note, this party was planned for 3/20 and I proposed we move it to 3/23 with approval from the groom, AKA, it’s still a month away. No reservations have been made and no money has been put down. Everything is local, relatively inexpensive, and we are not staying at a hotel or renting limos (per the groom’s tastes we’re doing stuff like an old school arcade and stuff).
​
The two party members working retail/service are balking. One of them says she already requested off and there’s no way she can get that Saturday off despite it being a month away, and that we already agreed to a Wednesday. I reiterated that the change is to accommodate the groom and asked if they could at least try to request off. They’re acting like I’m an asshole because I want to change the date based on the groom’s new circumstances. I even offered to try to move the date to a later weekend but they aren’t budging. They think we should go forward with the Wednesday. I don’t want my friends’ party to only have half his wedding party but I also don’t see how it’s fair to make the groom use 2 out of his 5 vacation days for his own bachelor party when he’ll need those days for more important things. Especially when he has weekends off at no cost of PTO.
​
So, am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
y33lQtDLjPa52zGcu1xF2SFyWfZ66rY8 | a33itd | {
"description": "leaving my girlfriend after she committed felonies",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For leaving my girlfriend after she committed felonies? | So my girlfriend really wanted a Nintendo Switch for free. So she offered to clean/vacuum our 65-year-old neighbor's house for "free". While she was vacumming, she waited for him to go outside, then stole his wallet and snapped a picture of his credit card. Then she put the wallet back before he could see her.
​
Then she created a fake Amazon account in her name, and ordered a Nintendo Switch and an SD card with it.About $360 of goods. I told her not to buy it, but she didn't listen to me (this was before she stole the card, I didn't know what she did). The items were addressed to the neighbor's house, in his name. A few days later the items came, and she stole them from his mailbox and opened them.
She then complained to Amazon about the packages not coming, possibly being stolen, and they refunded "her" money.
2 nights ago I found the Switch, and she told me what she did. She later admitted to stealing the SD card.
​
So last night, I packed up during midnight and went to a hotel. This morning I'm on the road back to my parents house in Ohio; I hope to find employment there and live with my parents until I can get into an apartment again. AITA for leaving a felon? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
9TZgw4cOE74dDdueXMaYAKPtnSlPYHOS | aiovdh | {
"description": "going on a vacation on Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going on a vacation on Valentine's day | I could fill this with background story on our relationship and stuff but I'll cut to the major points and question.
I haven't been on a holiday in 2 years, between work and life i just haven't had an enjoyable time away from work for longer than 3 day weekends or being sick.
This year i wanted to take a vacation and my girlfriend and i had been discussing going to Florida to stay at my family's home. I booked off feb 14&15, due to the 18th being a holiday this would give us a good amount of time. The cost of a round trip flight each is $700. Expensive i get that. Ive looked at all inclusives in cuba as well as they are only $300 more.
This past week we have been fighting a lot, not about the trip but things with our relationship and because of this she isn't sure she wants to go on a trip. I told her i'm going in a vacation whether she wants to come or not. Im not doing a staycation and doing nothing. I offered to pay all of the trip aside from $500 of it because thats her budget and i can respect i make more than her.
AITA if i end up going on this vacation without her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UzXBJsiz4zi2kFp7mUMft63lJSgOvxIh | b89h25 | {
"description": "venmo requesting my friend money she owed me even though I trusted her to pay me back",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Venmo requesting my friend money she owed me even though I trusted her to pay me back? | Background: I bought a ticket to a dance before I decided I would be going with someone. This person had an extra ticket and said I was welcome to have it, so my other friend said she would buy my ticket from me. We virtually “exchanged” tickets (we didn’t have physical copies of the tickets, so we just let the person collecting the money know that my ticket should go to her), and my friend didn’t have cash on her so I told her not to worry about paying me back this instant.
The next day, I Venmo requested her the cost of the ticket even though I had no intention of having her pay it back right then and there, it was just one more thing to check off my to-do list. She accepted it and paid me but we didn’t really speak about in person. I have a tendency to overthink even the most minute things, so I asked my boyfriend about it and he said I should’ve given her more time to pay me and I might’ve come off as a little greedy/untrusting (especially since my friend is the most kindhearted person I know).
It’s been several weeks now, but I can’t stop thinking about how she might’ve perceived it. We’re good friends but if I stepped out of line by requesting the money she would never let me know, so here I am.
AITA for requesting the money so soon and so abruptly?
TL;DR: I requested money from a friend only a day after she said she would pay me back and am worried I came off as greedy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jX0H5Tm4R4sJ75h5ZefSYixUU5ChGSWp | b2ij5u | {
"description": "thinking I should have control over what I do in year 11 from my parents",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for thinking I should have control over what I do in year 11 from my parents? | Sorry if formating is a bit of mobile etc.
Basically I'm in year eleven now and my parents and I, specifically my mother, is extremely controlling about my use of computers and other electronics.
The current rules of the household are I'm not allowed to touch my phone after 5pm during weekdays under any circumstances, I have to use my computer always in line of sight of a parent (for homework), I'm not allowed to take any electronics at all upstairs, I can't take my phone to the bathroom and I can only play videogames or watch YouTube for 3 hours on Saturday after 1pm (nothing on Sunday).
I understand that this is my parents household but is it unreasonable for me to have more freedom in what I do at my age? From what I've heard none of my friends have this kind of situation but whenever my parents talk to other parents or my psychologist they say my situation is reasonable. Am I being a asshole in expecting something that isn't reasonable and thinking badly of my parents for it? I'm genuinely confused and need clarification, I'm not expecting many responses but anything is appreciated.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
4dl6xDDwe8Ligm6ouzk3TMzwnjLZo0A0 | 9uoxkr | {
"description": "kicking my husband out of the house after catching him performing oral sex on hiself",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITAH for kicking my husband out of the house after catching him performing oral sex on hiself? |
We have been married for 15 years and I walked in our bedroom and he was performing oral sex on himself. We are very religious and oral sex is considered sodomy and homosexuality is not OK. This happened Saturday and I haven't let him back in the house since. I talked with my pastor and he said that it's sin and he should enter consoling but my husband won't do it and said I shouldn't have told anyone about what he was doing. Should I forgive him or force him to go to consoling for his sodomy and homosexuality.
tl;dr: I caught my husband performing oral sex on himself and it's against my religion.
P.S. I am not homophobic, it's just against my religion. Please understand. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
sjAiZPQuDJfSSHyK6I6xdmeqMBBLjpmK | aemb32 | {
"description": "not wanting to be her friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be her friend anymore? | I've known this girl and her family for about 2, 3 years now. I was in a very dark place mentally when we first met, so I was glad to have made a new friend. When I went to her residence the first time, a trailer, I was shocked. I don't consider myself a neat freak AT ALL, but this place was in absolute filth. I guess a way to describe it would be... Hoarders (the TV show) Lite. A few months after we met she ended up getting a new puppy, and she basically let the puppy shit in her 7-year-old daughter's bathroom.
A year later they moved into a new apartment. They invited me over a week after they moved. I figured, new place, maybe it'll be pretty clean. Lol nope. I dreaded having to use the restroom while hanging out there. Could barely sit on the couch without sitting on some clothes, or random stuffed toys, etc.
She sits at home most of the day.
What makes me feel bad is... I know she has depression, and anxiety. She takes a lot of medications. One of the reasons we bonded initially was that we could relate to each others' struggles. She also states she has fibromyalgia, and has for years tried and failed to get disability for it.
I've read that there can be a connection between depression and hoarder tendencies.
Until a few months ago she wasn't working, and I work a full-time job. More often than not she would invite me to come hang out and then ask if I could "please get some beers, been really stressed..." This eventually began to turn me off because she would talk about how poor they are all the time and could hardly get groceries or struggled to pay bills on time, but she always managed to get beer and cigarettes. There was apparently no money, but she was always buying random crap off the Wish app. She would talk about how much weight she'd gained, but she really didn't eat much, she just drank at least one 6-pack beer almost every day. My way of thinking was, if someone needed assistance, I'd gladly get some groceries for them, but I don't want to use my money on non-necessities. It made me feel like she thought I had money to just throw around.
Sorry if this post is all over the place. I really needed to vent somewhere. I've been trying to cut out toxic things, friendships, etc, that drag me down. Are these shallow reasons for not wanting to be someone's friend? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IbgwX8GhR0SMtfR7C9EMUlHgyjxobsBx | b0bifu | {
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend over text while in another state with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend over text while in another state with my ex? | Backstory: I dated a girl (X) long distance a few years ago and I guess you could say that she was my first love. Well things didn’t work out, but we decided to stay friends. We were still very close to the point where I ended up buying a plane ticket to go visit her over the summer.
Now, some time during the school year before this supposed summer, I ended up dating one of my closest friends (Brandon). I had told him that I was bisexual and had dated a girl prior to dating him. I told him that I was still friends with her and that I actually bought tickets to go see her during the summer before he and I even got together.
A few months later, the night before my departure, Brandon asked to meet so I did. He drove over and we sat in his car and talked. Understandably so, he was worried that I was visiting my ex. I knew I was completely over her as it had been a long time since we broke up and remained friends. The relationship I had with Brandon was going steady as well. I tried my best to reassure him the same. I didn’t think not going was an option since I could not receive a refund on this $400-500 ticket. After a while, it seemed like he was okay with it though.
So the next day, I’m flying over. It was a short flight and by the time I got to the new state, it was already about 10pm. I texted him that I landed safely and that X was picking me up. I got picked up and we drove to her house and at this point, we both just knocked out.
I woke up the next day and checked my phone. There was a whole series of worried texts such as:
“Hey where are you? What are you doing? Hello? Why aren’t you responding? Is everything okay?”
I texted back explaining how everything was okay and how we just fell asleep once we got home. He seemed relieved. So that was that.
X had an itinerary planned for the entire trip. I usually have my phone on silent and I didn’t check my phone that often because well, I wanted to enjoy this trip (my first time being in a different state). Every couple of hours, I would check my phone and find a series of similar texts as mentioned above. He was worried that something might happen between me and X despite our long talk the night before departure. I understood where he was coming from because X was my ex... but she was my ex for a reason.
This happened for another 2-3 days. By then, I was fed up by his lack of trust and how I felt like I had to waste my trip constantly consoling him so I essentially told Brandon that I didn’t think this was going to work out. He stopped texting me.
That night, two of our mutual friends called me saying “what happened?” and I just responded “what?” Turns out, Brandon had blocked me and made a passive aggressive post on FB which everyone obviously knew was about me. He ended up not talking to me, despite having the same friend group, for probably half a year.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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8k8p3Ahh77nvf7XOQDVdO5qOFQ4hG8c2 | b8iyb8 | {
"description": "writing gay fan fic/RP while Married",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA [f25] For writing gay fan fic/RP while Married. | I did read the post about relationship based AITA's and I didn't feel like this fell under the same category. I could be wrong.
So. I write gay fan fiction and participate in gay RPs(Roleplays)(strictly text based). Its MxM and I know it's kinda cringy but it makes me happy. I only Participate in RPs with platonic female friends (I'm hetro), but it does get VERY smutty.
My husband doesnt know about my little hobby, mostly because I think it would make him extremely uncomfortable. He was raised in a very Christian environment and where hes not against gay people doing their own thing, he will turn off a TV show if there are two guys getting sexy.
He knows about it in its mildest form. I'll tell him about a current favorite anime and ill be like "its suuuuper gay~" and I've bought my favorite 'ships' fan art at cons. he does not try and talk about it and completely moves on from any sort of conversation when I've mentioned it.
So, do you think I'm an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
YsuRUXQrcLqr3sKvVf0pyyAAGFAxPLrX | ascz74 | null | AITA russian mom gets aggressive at me | English is my 3rd language that I learned so hopefully it's not bad.
SoI don't remember it perfectly.
This story takes place in Latvia it happend a year . ago in summer when I was like 11.
There was this park in a forest where me and some friends ussualy went to and that one day I was with my friend lets call him Jacob.
There was like a structure mede and there was like a big red tube made so me and Jacob were sitting in it then some russian kids one looked about 8 and the other 5 to 6. So they came up to the tube and were saying something in Russian so we still sat in the red tube, but then their mom in an aggressive tone and loud woice said something in Russian so I was like what and then she started speaking Latvian she said
M=mom me=me of course.
M:let the kids in the red tube!
me:sorry I will I didn't understand them becouse they spoke russian russian
M:then don't be an idiot and understand it
Me:you don't have to act so rude
M:are you stupid or what
Me:sounds like your the stupid one here
M:wow how do you talk to older people?
Me:how I want to
And then me and Jacob came down from the structure got on our bikes and rode off
I'm i the Asshole in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
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p7QiLEuxdodRdJnZaDrjLfKrLlfiAK5j | aoq17k | {
"description": "being upset at my so after they sought support from someone after I told them something confidential",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset at my SO after they sought support from someone after I told them something confidential? | I’m a long-time lurker, I just made this throwaway account not too long ago.
Last night, my parents informed me that we’ll have to be putting my dog down this weekend. I felt like my whole world collapsed from under my feet, even though I knew this was coming. I’ve known him for longer than I can remember; he is 13 years old and has had a great life. I’m comforted by the fact that he’ll pass away peacefully.
Holding in all of my emotions from people really didn’t feel too good after a while, so I decided to tell my SO (we’ll call her Alex) about it. I prefaced this confrontation by requesting that she ONLY keeps this information between us, as I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else. She was supportive of this, and she helped comfort me. We talked for a while until I went to bed for the night, I felt a lot better.
Fast-forward to this evening (4 hours before this post was made). Alex and I are talking on the phone about a project that we were assigned in school, and out of the blue, she mentions:
“I know you told me not to tell anyone (about the news), but I told a friend of mine. And I’m really sorry but I needed a shoulder to cry on”.
Normally, I’d be fine if she sought out support from her friends if something’s troubling her. I’m her SO but I’m not a miracle worker, there are certain times when bros need some bro love and girls need support from other girls. I get that.
I just thought that this kind of topic would be an exception to that rule; an exception that means “I REALLY don’t want you to tell anyone about this. I’m telling you this because I am 100% confident that you’ll keep it between us”. I’ve told her before that honesty and trust are the two traits I value most in a relationship.
I feel betrayed, and I’m really on the fence about wether or not I should mention that I could support her as she did for me, because I don’t want to come off as one of those assholes that tells their SO “I was ALWAYS here for you. Are you telling me that you’re putting your friends over your SO??”.
Currently, she’s admitted that she’s made a mistake but the confrontation, wether she’s trying to change it or not, is slowly steering toward a situation where she’ll only feel better if I tell her that it’s okay and I forgive her. I’m not going to lie to her, I don’t really think that what she did was okay in this situation.
It’s not even that I don’t want other people to know, I’ve come to my bearings enough to be okay with that. It’s the fact that she betrayed my trust behind my back, and that I don’t know if I can tell these things to the one person I thought I could come to anymore. Heck, if she had asked me beforehand, I probably would’ve been fine with it.
Help me out here, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SPyBBT3pRsgCFIvsCuO524Eguyc8oGEd | aobpm6 | {
"description": "anonymously reporting my dad to the DMV for his dangerous driving",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for anonymously reporting my dad to the DMV for his dangerous driving? | So back story, dad is getting on in age (77) and whilst he is mentally sharp, inevitably his reflexes have declined and he is not what he used to be.
There has been several instances of late where he has failed to react accordingly, put the wrong indicator on, drift from one lane to other and consistently driving half the speed limit to the point there is a procession of cars beeping the eff out of him at all times. His car is covered with little fonts and scratches and he claims none of them are his doing.
I, and my family have had the conversation with him around perhaps it’s tome to give it up but his ego and need for control has always been a massive part of his DNA, and he absolutely refuses to enter the discussion and is adamant he is not a danger on the roads.
I bit the bullet and did a self report to the DMV which means he will get a letter to retest for his license within the next 10 days. He is going to go absolutely ballistic but all I can think is the advise I read on a forum one day:
“Would you trust him driving your kids around? If the answers no then he should be driving”.
Shit is about to hit the fan once this letter arrives, and to further exacerbate the guilt I feel - mum is gonna bare the brunt of it as she is always his go to when things don’t go his way.
Fuk. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
g1Ml0dOzGDByg9CGexNDzfPnEfKUXZOs | ayovx0 | {
"description": "not telling my good friend that his ex slept with someone on our sports team",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not telling my good friend that his ex slept with someone on our sports team | For context, we are in a UK university.
My friend (and housemate) had a 2 year relationship with a girl from home that ended in his first year of university, because she was a year younger than him. Their relationship always seemed a bit contentious and somewhat immature, but 2 years is a long time at our age.
Come second year in university, she now coincidentally (not sure if him being here influenced her) goes to our same university. They spend a lot of time together during the first few weeks. At that point it is my understanding that they briefly got back together, but that then falls through. Mean things are said, and the breakup isn't clean.
My friend is really defensive about our sports team, and has said he considers it his family. After the breakup he commanded her to stay away from the team, and the areas we usually hang out. I disagreed with this demand, because I believe that she has every right to fuck whoever she wants, even if he happens to be in our sports team. I tell him this, but anything that goes against his ironclad will was ignored and he would get very angry, despite having asked for my advice.
Cut forward to maybe a month into the year, I'm told by her on a night out, after she has an emotional outpouring and I give her some advice, that she fucked a guy on our sports team, and that my mate doesn't know about it.
I didn't tell my friend, because I knew it would cause irreparable damage to his friendship with the team, and because of his anger and emotional issues that I know he has. I also fundamentally disagree with the way he tried and still tries to control her behaviour even though they are no longer together. Personally, I believe he had no right to know about her activities.
There was a short period of time where it seemed like they might get back together in January, despite mine and my housemates advice to the contrary. For a week they were back together, but it was clear they would fail, because the dynamic was the same as before, and nothing had changed.
Come second semester, news gets around about everything and I still pretend that I have no idea. He now hates the other guy, whom he constantly talks about fighting and intimidating, and he has sent the girl threatening messages, and only now is ignoring her, after finally listening to my advice. I even had to frase it as 'ignoring her to get back at her' when it's really just for his own sake. I've also had to talk him out of hurling insults at her so many times.
So, AITA, I reckon it's a ESH. But I don't feel guilty for not telling him, especially after he has acted how I predicted he would. But he has mentioned that just knowing about it and not saying anything would be a friendship dealbreaker.
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
JS3hkuvwxerDyndOCMpV8AhWAJoIrRPn | a19c7x | {
"description": "not picking up a casual friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not picking up a casual friend? | Context: I have a casual friend from high school that only ends needs me when he wants a ride! I live in eastern Minnesota and he wanted me to pick him up from a town I barely know 20 miles east of me in Wisconsin at midnight! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5IBnI8EkB4jiJYDyPsEYyCxcDv5Z98Rv | aw7o7m | null | AITA: Secretly going to therapy behind my mothers back? | Recently I’ve been struggling with mental health and opened up to my mother about it. My mother is a difficult person but I still love her and I know she wants what’s best, but when I opened up to her about my anxiety/depression and she pretty much replied with “therapists are bullshit” and it was my lifestyle choices that were causing this, and if I went to the gym or “just make more friends” my issues will go away. This really upset me so i decided to talk to my father (parents are divorced btw) about it and he suggested to see a therapist, I agreed and went yesterday. I decided to hide it from my mother, knowing she would be upset if I went without telling her. I decided to tell her today and she flipped shit, yelling at me and then telling me to leave the house. I don’t know if what I did was wrong or not, my mother never wanted to support me through this hard time so I believed that she wouldn’t care. I dunno. She’s not talking to me anymore I’m at a loss. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
AUdyEHe4Ub1n8czIBZQzZot1JQAIWsdF | ak065a | {
"description": "convincing my boyfriend to go on a trip he doesn't particularly want",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for convincing my boyfriend to go on a trip he doesn’t particularly want? | I’m 16, my boyfriend is 17. We’ve been dating for about 2 1/2 months and we’re still firmly in the honeymoon phase. I know we’re young and it’s a pretty new relationship, but I can really see myself with him forever. Stupid teen thoughts, maybe. But I genuinely do love him.
His mum is lovely. She’s invited me to go on a family holiday with them to Vietnam. Holy shitballs, batman! Of course I wanna go, I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam.
My boyfriend hates travelling. He said to his mum “I don’t really want to go, so I’d guess Unneuf doesn’t want to go without me.”
Poof, dream crushed. I said alright and went on my merry way, but seriously. I wanna go. This is a trip I’ve always wanted, and what could possibly be better than spending it with the guy I love?
I said as much to him. He said “We could always go in the future.”
I told him “Your parents are paying for us both this time. We may not get an opportunity like this again, and if we do go in the future it’ll be out of our own money.”
His parents, lovely as they are, said they’d pay for me to go. I’m not having that, me and my family will pay for it. They’ve done so much for me already.
Still my boyfriend said no.
So I got sad. Not angry at him, just kinda sad. Aaand he felt guilty.
“No, if you don’t wanna go then we won’t.” I said to him.
“You’re making me feel guilty,” he said back.
I did guilt trip him, to be fair. He eventually agreed to it, because he felt so guilty about how upset I was.
And then I felt guilty. So I started crying. And then he got upset seeing me upset. So he started crying.
He says he’s fine with it, but the way I guilt tripped him left a bad taste in my mouth. I wished I hadn’t done it as sone as I did.
Am I the asshole?
TL;DR: Boyfriends parents are offering to take us to Vietnam. I wanted to go, he didn’t, I guilt tripped him into saying yes. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
vcZEuDtMTePqUkDPvr4DCL2N56C2QwpM | ad013h | {
"description": "not going shopping with my grandmas",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA because I didn't go shopping with my grandmas? | So my grandmas are visiting, and they were going to go to ALDI's and then me, my mom, sister, and her kids were going to meet them at World Market. So they're about to leave, and my mom says, as soon as they're grabbing their purses, "So, Zia2345, do you want to go to ALDI's with them?" While she did this she was winking, which for non-kids or whatever, is code for "You have no choice, I control you."
I'm in my PJ's, haven't showered, etc. It would've taken me 30 minutes to get ready. I put my foot down and said no. I was already kicked out of my room, and was kept up until 1 am because people wouldn't get out of the living room, where I sleep. Also, very minorly, I despise ALDI's because of how crowded it is. My mom got angry and said that I need to go because she can't because she needed to shower. I told her that I did too, and that wasn't fair to me. She caved and said I didn't have to go, but was pretty pissed off.
TL;DR: Mom tried to make me go to ALDI's with grandmas last minute, I said no. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
fcTSPDstV73WSd6gF9Z8vqllT7FjwvZ4 | al6f94 | {
"description": "telling my friend his girlfriend was cheating on him",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For telling my friend his girlfriend was cheating on him? | This happened a few months ago, and as much as I think I done the right thing I have been completely torn about whether or not I was an asshole based on the aftermath of the situation. Sorry this is really long, just want to make everything as clear as possible since this has been tugging on my conscience for a while.
So some background. I'm 23 and have been really good friends with this guy, let's call him Bob, (23) for ten years (used to be best friends for 7 years of this). We stopped hanging out when this club we used to go to, where I met him, closed down but still met up occasionally until recently for catch-ups and gigs and spoke to each other a lot on facebook. When we went to this club, we were the only people there that used to listen to heavier stuff like death metal rather than the standard music that played there and so everyone and their mum used to say we should get together for years and years. We did drunkenly kiss when when we were 15 and again at 20 we went to a gig but both times we were very much like, nope, not doing it for me and carried on as good friends and like normal. When we were 19, he had his first relationship which ended when she cheated on him with and left him for his one of our mutual friends. He was devastated, swore off relationships, essentially typical first heartbreak stuff, got over it and was happy being single. A year ago, he bumped into this girl, let's call her Janet, who went to the same club we used to go to. She was 3/4 years younger than us. I didn't know her that well other than through mutual friends and her going to the same place. Think I had made 2 conversations with her at most, and I didn't really like the impression she gave off, which was the stereotypical "Rawr XD", "Look how edgy I am, my music scares people!" for lack of a better description. They start dating. He introduces me to her and she's immediately pissed off that I didn't know who she was. As I said, I had 2 conversations at most with her years ago. Next time I met her she was very rude and annoyed that I was hanging out with Bob, until Bob told me that he told Janet that he had kissed me twice before years ago but it meant nothing. Bob stopped hanging out with me but we still talked regularly on facebook, commenting on each other's statuses and what not and every time we bumped into each other Janet is incredibly rude to me, even when me and my boyfriend of 2 years have bumped into her alone. Fast forward to a few months ago.
My boyfriend and I are on a night out to a nightclub Janet regularly goes to. Sidenote: Bob never goes on nights out, ever. We genuinely avoid her every time she's there because she can be really annoying by bragging about how much she's had to drink, how some guy's hit on her, gets weirdly flirty with my boyfriend or some crap like that, but I've always tolerated it because Bob is a good friend and makes him happy. At about half through the night, my boyfriend and I go out to the smoker's area for a cig, and bam, there's Janet feeling up and making out with one of mine and Bob's mutual friends. I'll admit, I didn't think at all but I tapped her on the shoulder and asked, "Why are you cheating on Bob?". They stopped and Janet with a look of horror on her face, says "What?" and I asked her the same question again. I then asked the mutual friend why he was making out with her when he knows she's dating Bob. Janet's drunken friend who I've never met but somehow knows me, presumably from Janet probably lying about me having interest in Bob, then says "She's not cheating! They're playing truth or dare!" My partner, behind me, says "That's still cheating." I say, "Whatever" and go to the other side of the smoker's cage. I was really angry that she could hurt my friend like that, and at the mutual friend for not giving a damn. Janet then runs off inside because she got caught. I asked my partner if I should tell Bob and he said I should, since he deserves to know the truth and that he'll back me up since he saw it to. I open the Bob's chat on messenger when suddenly Janet's drunken friend comes up and starts screaming at me, and grabbing my jacket, saying "She was just snogging him! It's not like she was fucking him." Over and over again. I kept telling her to leave me alone, as did my partner and people overhearing in the smoker's area, trying to split it up. Then she started threatening me as well as repeating what she previously said, so I pressed record on my phone as soon as. I got everything on video, as it would be proof that she was the aggressor and threatening me if security got involved, and proof to Bob that Janet was cheating. She then caught on she was on video and stormed back inside the building. Because it was on Bob's chat at the time, the video got sent straight to Bob, who asked me to call him. So I did, and he asked me what was happening, why was \*Janet's friend\* saying that Janet kissing our mutual friend not cheating, and asking for clarity, so I told him everything that just happened. Bob gets really sad and says that he has to go and will talk later.
I was really upset, from being grabbed (I wasn't going to initiate a fight over something so stupid, whilst I'm sober and they're drunk for one) and for my friend being stabbed in the back so my bf and I had another few cigarettes so I could chill for a bit. About half an hour later, a bouncer comes up to us (she's my mate's aunty) asking why a girl just came up to her in tears over me recording her without her permission. I responded by saying that the girl was threatening me and physically grabbed me and that I had deleted the video as soon as the girl left. I lied about deleting the video because I couldn't delete the video as it was sent directly on messenger and I didn't want to be in trouble. She checked my phone and nothing there so that was the end of it. I don't get why I was in the wrong by videoing since you don't need permission to film someone in the country I'm in and she was threatening me, but whatever. They left anyway.
The next day I didn't hear back from Bob and noticed that Janet had blocked me on facebook (never had her as a friend). Bob kept making posts about her, and was still listed in a relationship so they stayed together. Since that night Bob has only spoke to me a couple of times since, but not like in personal chat or anything, just the odd comment on a facebook post, not malicious or out of character or anything, but that's the most interaction with him these days. I have since found out from mutual friends through her telling that wasn't the first time she had cheated, but the first time she got caught and that she has been bad-mouthing me to everyone she knows saying that I lied and tried to split them up because I have feelings for Bob, which is really not true. I've been assured by my partner that I did the right thing, but re-playing the situation in my head, I feel like I was in the wrong for telling him, since he had been happy for the year he had been dating her, unaware of her behaviour, but happy nonetheless and because I feel like we've ruined our friendship, even if it hadn't been that great the past year, or that if I was going to tell him, I could have done it in a more sensitive way than sending a video of her friend violently screaming that his girlfriend groping and making out with another guy wasn't cheating because it was truth or dare. All of that has me coming to the conclusion that I didn't do the right thing. Am I the asshole in this situation?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
e8OdmxVLcGPEDvtsRgYo7Wwjw5zgPz78 | agg97w | {
"description": "staring at a girl",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For staring at a girl? | Obviously it's not as simple as that.
After school gets out (I'm in highschool) I wait by the bus stop as my ride home. Up until today I hadn't had any problems with other people even though some of them were incredibly young to start smoking and vaping (that's important later). Today I saw this middle schooler let's say around 14 give or take a bit because I had never seen her on campus however there's a second school on this block, which is a middle school. So as I'm sitting on the bench I completely minding my own business her and 3 other friends pick up a cigarette off the ground which still had most of it's actual white left. Then light it and walk around to the back of the bench and start vaping (with a juul) and smoking the falling apart cigarette. After they do this I start staring. And she immediately screams at me asking me what the fuck I was looking at, and I could immediately tell that she was one of those people. I acted like it took me a second to realise she was talking to me and i took my earbuds out then asked her what she had said. She repeats herself and completely skips all negotiation and before I can get a word in she asks if I had problem with her and to "do something!" And with no time for even a breath continues with "hit me!" As if they were in the same sentences. I asked her "why would I hurt you?" Then she interrupts me by just screaming in my face. I told her that she was already hurting herself as I am very aware of how drugs can ruin someone. Then she rips the juul out of her friends hand and asks me: "does this make you feel uncomfortable?" (Keep in mind I've been very nice and calm to her and smiled the whole time.) Then she basically blew this disgustingly sweet juul vapor into my face and I just closed my eyes, then she does it again. Everyone started joining in after she left by just making fun of me and just insulting my appearance overall, but the only one that really bothered me was that someone said that I probably hadn't showered in a couple years because my hair looked greasy. After a while she circled back around yo the stop my mother had pulled into the driveway and she yelled at me with something So Reddit, am I the asshole for staring at and judging her for her bad habits as well as commenting about them? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
HfYNPHwrScgHib1TT2N0wCTDcjXFegWA | b5vgri | {
"description": "losing my patience with a neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for losing my patience with a neighbor? | I live in an apartment building split into 3 floors. On the bottom floor live my neighbors, 2 women in their early 60’s, who take no care of their health.
This may sound judgey, but they are both very obese, both smoke, and it’s a routine thing that they are bringing home large amounts of greasy junk food that makes the building smell, and they have mobility issues due to their weight.
Until recently, I couldn’t care less because it’s their life and more power to them, however in the last month, we have had the fire department here 11 times. They have been calling the fire department to help one of them get up the first level of stairs to their apartment.
This causes several issues for me, one is that I live on the second floor, and when this is going on, I literally cannot leave my place as the stairwell is full of firefighters and sometimes equipment.
Another is that a fire truck blocks the street where I park, meaning I’ve been late to work 4 times this month because I can’t move my car because I have to wait for the fire truck to move.
Finally, what kinda personally irks me is that I feel like people with real emergencies are unable to get help because this person keeps calling the emergency services and using them like a carer or a health worker.
So last week I was heading out to work and as I put my hand on the door to leave, here comes 3 firefighters and my neighbor, so being decent, I hold the door open so she can get inside.
First thing she does is bark at me “Your ass is going to have to wait” which was super uncalled for, I’ve never been anything other than helpful when I can be, and I was already pissed that once again I’m going to struggle to get to work on time and so I snapped and said “Well at least peoples houses aren’t burning down because I can’t stop eating fried chicken”
She went off and yelled until she couldn’t breathe, so the firefighters had to virtually dead lift her up the last few stairs.
After a chat with the Mrs, it seems kinda 50/50 on if I was an asshole or it was justified. So I submit it to you, Reddit.
Was I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"WRONG": 1
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NJCBTmYzX9sKfFoLDSq226BGHVryKSZC | b4x6ow | {
"description": "crossing the street when the light changed",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for crossing the street when the light changed? | I live in uptown Denver but often walk around downtown. I sold my car once I moved to the city because public transit was cheaper and I just like walking.
Anyway, this was about a month ago. I had gotten off work and got downtown at about 10:30. I'm 21F and I walk alone, often in the dark because I have to for work. I carry pepper spray and I fast walk everywhere. This night was one of those that the temperature was in the negatives, the roads and sidewalks were icy, and the wind was blowing so hard I couldn't feel my face.
I was walking along Colfax where I had been dropped off. Usually I just go straight home, but that night I was going to Argonaut for a bottle of whiskey. This meant I needed to cross Colfax at some point, and being me I chose the first intersection off the bus to cross at. For those of you who are curious/know Denver, it was Colfax & Broadway, so...always busy.
First I crossed Broadway because that signal was already in my favor. I faced to cross Colfax, one-way traffic facing me from the left. I watched as their light turned yellow, and took a premature step. The second their light was red, I was on the crosswalk.
Important to note, the lights at this intersection work fast, and essentially the second their light turned red, my pedestrian signal came on. I know this not only because I saw it with my eyes but also because I cross there a lot.
Suddenly, I'm startled out of my wits because the first car I had stepped out in front of was BLARING their horn at me. Instinctually, I hopped back. They pulled up onto the crosswalk.
I felt I wasn't doing anything wrong (the pedestrian signal was on), so I flipped off the car's tinted windows and walked around the back of it.
This bitch opens her car door and starts SCREAMING obscenities at me. "BITCH, YOU TRYIN' TO GET RAN OVER?"
I said, "Dumbass, you trying to run people over?"
I learned quickly that, unbeknownst to me, this person had really, REALLY wanted to turn right on red just before perpendicular traffic had begun accelerating, but unfortunately couldn't because this BITCH of a PEDESTRIAN was in the crosswalk!
I didn't figure that before she honked and yelled it at me because guess what, she wasn't even signaling that intention.
She was stepping out of her car. I was annoyed and feeling confrontational for once, but the wind was hurting both my skin and my life force, so I kept walking. I kept my middle finger up at her as she continued to scream, "STUPID BITCH! YOU'RE A DUMBASS BITCH YOU KNOW THAT? YOU KNOW THAT? YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID!"
I don't really understand trying to fight someone in the freezing cold, late at night in the dark, who was a female by herself, at the risk of holding up traffic.
I'm *pretty fucking sure* the pedestrian signal being on is the most legal way for me to cross. But the way this lady was losing her absolute shit at me made me think maybe I was wrong somewhere? Somehow?
What do you think? Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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8B5XrscQskH1DibIndQ9fDYnmaTx7X93 | asge9x | {
"description": "not joining my family on a long-planned holiday? and instead choosing to stay at home with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not joining my family on a long-planned holiday? And instead choosing to stay at home with my friends? | So every winter me and my family usually goes to our cabin in the mountains, where we hang out and generally have a good time. As i am not a kid anymore (18), it isn’t always as fun as it used to be.
Especially when most of my friends will stay at home, and have empty houses where we can do stuff that 18 year old boys normally do.
As i said, i have known about the trip to the cabin for some time now, and i only realised a couple of days ago what my friends were going to do (they hadn’t talked about it much infront of me because they knew i was supposed to be away with my family).
So i decided to try to convince my family into letting me stay at home, alone. Slightly pressured into it by my friends. And after a long discussion, they allowed me to stay at home.
The problem is that i could clearly see my family, especially mom, was upset. They tried doing everything they could to make sure i would join them. For instance activities which i like and they really dislike, and also buying stuff for me. They tried doing so much to make me go with them, but i refused to negotiate, and didn’t back out.
I know that i will have more fun with my friends, but i feel like such an asshole for letting down my family, when they clearly wanted me to join them so much.
My family leaves in 14 hours, and i’ve still got time to change my mind. I’ve also avoided telling my friends about the whole situation, and they still think i’m going with my family. So i’ve still got both paths open.
So AITA? And what should i do?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
v2GqDPXyvmkrL9uJLLqrMVbuTY3FIZbJ | 9u7x32 | {
"description": "not buying a stranger a game",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not buying a stranger a game? | a couple months ago I was in a discord group chat with 3 people. let's call them Jake and Chris
I was good friends with Jake. 4+ years. chris I had maybe 2 conversations with lasting no more than 10 seconds. jake and chris were good friends. chris lets the chat know about a 15 dollar game that he wanted to buy. keep in mind its mid september. he said he only has 5 dollars. my friend says he has 60. seeing what people are talking about I mention that I have 175. chris instantly asked how. I said because I never buy anything. jake said I was stingy. chris asked for me to buy the game. I said no because I'm saving up for a phone. I didn't have a phone. chris got super pissed at me and said I was making up excuses. this goes on for a while and I'm trying to be nice until I just said "Chris. I don't know you" jake posted a picture of the kick user button. "think about what you say before you say it" for the record. I did. it seemed like the right choice. I said "sorry I don't wanna spend my money," Chris said "that's all you needed to say" and then they had a conversation with 2 people alone in a group chat with 5 people. I said it was cluttering and they should move to dms. jake often complains about me doing that. jake then said "its not a conversation so its fine." AITA? keep in mind jake is 14. I'm 13. and idk how old Chris is. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TBGMOJcyeww3PfXcyIYV9wnedojYsXZf | ai0a6q | {
"description": "voicing my complaint about usage of phone during a movie hangout",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for voicing my complaint about usage of phone during a movie hangout? | I feel like this is very trivial, and probably shouldn't be asked on this subreddit, so I will try to make this short:
​
My first asked if i wanted to hangout with her, and I replied with a yes. So I went over, and we decide to watch movies. The movies she picks out are two movies I've never heard of before or even seen, so I thought that was great. However, these two movies are ones she has claim to seen multiple of times before, meaning she probably knows the plot, all the jokes, etc. In my mind i think to myself, if she already seen it, she probably will be bored of watching it. So I try to make small talk here in there, mostly things that were about in the movie. Not a lot to be a distraction, but just enough to atleast have something there. I would notice in the beginning though that was pulling out her phone, and texting people, so i assume she just quickly replying to people before watching. But every time I went and glance at her, she would still have her phone up. Sometimes not even texting people but just browsing Facebook or Instagram. This lasted for both movies. At that point it made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy, as it was already hard of enough to make conversation with how shy i am, but also felt like i was unwanted in the moment.
​
The next day I text them, and try to give a small complaint about the phone (There was other things that night that bothered me, but I'm gonna try to keep it to the phone mostly), saying like maybe we should watch a movie we both haven't seen so we can try to both pay attention to the movie, or something else. But now they seem to be sort of mad in that they shouldn't have invited me over if i was going to make a big ordeal about them using their phone. Am I the AITA for maybe complaining about them using their phone when we are watching a movie? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
H4uSoYJelrIP739Tlw0eHEqvSpFgXaBz | b8qcmd | {
"description": "telling a girl she doesnt have an ass",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA For telling a girl she doesnt have an ass | So me and one of my friends we're joking around when she said i bet your dick is so small you cant even see it. I wasnt botherd by that but i had to get a comeback so i told her who stole your ass, or let me guess someone ate it. Than she broke down crying telling me i was an asshole for saying that. Now i dont know what to do, i just supposed she will take it as a joke but i guess she's insecure about.
Is it my fault ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
9SlpJCtDahZVWTVS7pAXFU609k4M9RFB | a8t5hv | {
"description": "expecting a diabetic with low blood sugar to actively fix their situation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for expecting a diabetic with low blood sugar to actively fix their situation? | I walked into work to find a coworker shaking and cold, however this coworker constantly points out how much they shake and it was a cold day. I asked them if I could help in anyway but got no response, however this co-worker then pointed something out to me as a walked away. They walked away from their station so I picked it up while they were gone thinking one of the other 3 co-workers could watch them while I covered their spot.
10 minutes later I walk into the back and find the person laid out in the ground with a shift lead looking annoyed. After bring asked to help cover their shift the SL talks the the person and wakes them up. I tried to help then clock out but had no idea how bad their condition was until they asked where they were.
After this the GM helps them until an ambulance arrives and after they leave I then hear that they told the GM that their blood sugar was WAY too low before I even got there and that it caused all of this.
AITA for expecting the diabetic in question, who was aware of this before they passed out and knew how bad it could become, to be even somewhat forceful about getting it fixed instead of working until it became too much? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gF2tkPkQpLNDZxdFdeTJZJZ8Zq78GTo9 | an04ab | {
"description": "expressing concern for a young child's constant preventable pitfalls",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for expressing concern for a young child’s constant preventable pitfalls? | I’m a mother of a challenging ‘spirited’ child, and have had my fair share of mini heart attacks. We all have. I’m not perfect, but I can safely say I am extra careful with what I do and say around my kiddo. Parenting her has also taught me to not judge other parents, with an exception.
My old next door neighbor has a one year old, and she is literally posting on Facebook about her injuries daily. She’s already glued to her phone as it is. Within a two week timespan, she had mentioned how she fell head-first out of a shopping cart at Walmart and was being monitored for a concussion, fell off of their brick fireplace, fell out of a high chair, got into their closed tub and turned the tap on to almost knee depth before being discovered, had symptoms that ended up progressing to pneumonia due to not going to a doctor sooner because signing the kid up for baby gymnastics and attending two classes was more important, and fucking ate chunks of drywall out of the house they just bought. Tons of other incidents before that, constant bruises on her head and face. I know kids can be little tornados of wtf, but her constant posting of pictures and ‘look what she did now!’ blasé approach to it actually started to piss me off. Many of these incidents could have been avoided if she paid more attention. The irony is that she seems to think choosing IVF makes her the best mother alive and her relationship with God pretty much places her above everyone (she’s fiercely Pentecostal and openly condemns same-sex couples we know and all that). Her husband is currently deployed and I know he sees this, and probably doesn’t need the added stress of seeing his kid always getting hurt.
To add, my husband is also friends with her on social media and has brought this up on his own accord, and he typically doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone’s business. Hearing even him go, “damn, again?” says a lot.
Anywho, after the umpteenth clusterfuck that made its way to social media, I had commented on how her baby seems to be getting hurt quite a bit, and she flew off the handle. She made at least three passive aggressive posts after that saying how ‘people are too nosy’ and how ‘the world is godless and needs help’ (I am openly agnostic) yada yada. I cut ties with her since, but can’t help wondering if mentioning concern was out of line. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 9,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PGrmWyLmcFPCpcHlR4R5PWARgMXosKed | a6ozqa | {
"description": "confronting my employee for raising her voice at me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for confronting my employee for raising her voice at me | A little backstory first.
I am a (19 m) manager at a movie theater in which we have an arcade.
The employee in question is (19 f), we will call her E, and is the SO to a previous assistant manager that I am still friends with. (He was promoted and now works at a different theater in the city and has the same job title as me).
The arcade in question is one that awards tickets for games played, which can be used to redeem for prizes. One of these prizes is a metal lunchbox tin with some design on it (starwars or pac-man etc.)
During some downtime, I was in the lobby and was on my phone. E approached me with immediate frustration and cussing.
"What is this about me stealing a fucking lunchbox from the arcade!?" E exclaimed
"What are you talking about?" I questioned calmly
"I'm getting real sick and tired of this bullshit!" she then walked off without letting me interject
It's important to note that I cannot recall exactly what she said, but she was raising her voice and cussing 100%, it could be considered yelling but it depends on how one would define yelling. I however stayed 100% calm like a good manager does when dealing with his employees.
It is also important to not that I 100% had no idea what the fuck she was talking about
I then think to myself "that was odd", before heading to the office to see if any of my fellow managers had any answers for me.
Turns out that the count for the lunch boxes were off and a fellow manager was investigating this matter without informing me at all (let alone telling me that they were going to be talking to E). This is important because E has been know to be very reactive when it comes to pretty much anything (rude guests, you name it). The problem is that her SO normally was there to calm her down, or at least take a little responsibility for these situations. With him being promoted, I wasn't going to approach her and tell her to control her emotions or anything because that would be super rude. this led to me pretty much ignoring her occasional outbreaks when it came to other employees or guests (if nobody complained to me about her I didn't want to poke the bear). this time was different because it was me she was raising her voice at.
I'll admit, the co-manager in question was not the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to handling this situation. She knew that E had overactive tendencies. She then asked E if she knew anything about the missing lunchbox. (In a conversation afterwards, the manager made it clear to me she wasn't accusing her at all and was just genuinely asking.) She obviously failed to see how E would actually take the conversation, i suspect the manager was understating how accusatory she was being. After this conversation was over E then approached me.
The other manager was known for being disliked by the employees for various reasons. So it makes sense that she came to me to voice her displeasure about the situation, which is totally fine. I just felt like I was used a bit like a punching bag here.
Afterward the manager figured out that the whole situation was a misunderstanding and that the lunchbox never went missing and everything was fine.
I then told the manager very politely that i didn't like being kept out of the loop considering I had just been yelled at, and that we both knew how E would react to the conversation, she said my bad, good enough for me.
now normally i would have just let this go and chock it up to being another one of E's outbreaks, but i felt pretty attacked so I wanted to do something about it. I am normally very passive about these kinds of things.
I was chatting with some of my work buddies and E joined in the conversation (all mutual friends), shortly afterward I steered the conversation toward the recent situation and said that i didn't like being yelled at, she said that she wasn't yelling, to which I said that regardless I didn't like the way i was treated, and that if she ever has a concern to just ask me instead of cussing etc, I am reasonable. She then raised her voice again and said "fine, I guess if there is ever a problem I just won't say anything then!" then stormed off. important to note that again, I was very calm throughout this brief interaction.
I was pretty pissed but didn't push anything further and I haven't talked to her since.
I feel bad for E because she isn't a super happy camper, she has stated her displeasure with her employment among other things. (this was back when we were friends and texted regularly). But i can't help but feel I was wronged regardless. It doesn't help that she is dating a friend which I feel makes the situation a little tricky to navigate. As I don't want workplace situations to affect the friendship. (the main reason for not saying anything in previous outbursts)
I am also a little upset at the manager who screwed the pooch with this whole situation, she is known for not thinking things through and messing stuff up even though she has worked here for 16 years. She for sure is the most hated manager on our payroll (consensus by employees and fellow managers). She is also known for going to HR, even my general manager doesn't like her but can't do anything about it.
​
Let me know if you guys need any extra details or clarifications
​
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
skB3ikzGnhGlulAGxkOMuZ9s4aE4t2Rw | b15rlm | {
"description": "being upset that my lgbt friends talk badly about straight people while I'm around",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For being upset that my LGBT friends talk badly about straight people while I’m around? | Let me just preface this by saying I understand the whole idea of “punching down” and “punching up” when it comes to minority groups. It’s more acceptable to talk poorly about the oppressor than the oppressed because kicking someone while they’re down is worse than being spiteful of a priveleged group you aren’t part of. That being said, I’m a straight white guy so I can only talk in theory.
Anyways over the past month or so I’ve been trying to understand the whole “you don’t get it or like it because you’re straight” or “oh we’ll talk later about this honey” when it comes to a talking about the LGBT community, along with all of the jabs towards straight people which make me think they look down on me. We’ve been friends for about a year now, so we’re all at that level where we don’t really filter things anymore, but with that came this sort of condescending attitude towards me because how could I possibly get it. And I can’t, sure, but I’ve supported them from day one and I’ve never done anything to disrespect who they are, so why should I be the one getting this attitude? They wouldn’t be my friends if I was some bigot and know that I’m an ally.
I know the straight jokes are all generalized, but being the only straight guy in the group makes me feel like I don’t mean as much to them because I don’t have a gender or sexuality that’s unique, and how that somehow makes me less woke than them in general (not even with just LGBT stuff). So no, I don’t have to deal with the hate against a specific group and that makes me priveleged, but do I really deserve this animosity towards me? I’m mentioning this now because it’s starting to make me angry and I feel like if I don’t that I’m going to have to find new friends.
PS they do know that I don’t appreciate it but I’ve never said it outright. I usually just tell them “alright, whatever”, or something along those lines. If anyone, particularly LGBT people who are friends with straight people or vice versa, could give me advice on how to deal with this or tell me if I’m wildly wrong, I’d appreciate it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
EoUPFqRzsRwKzLlIGqsiYnVz3gG5KrkB | apmjiu | {
"description": "setting a trap for my now ex-gf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | AITA for setting a trap for my now ex-gf? | So my now ex girlfriend has had an ex cheat on her before and you add that to her already existing anxiety she has a lot of trust issues. She would constantly "test" the relationship and spy on me. This would mean going through my emails and my texts when I was asleep and checking my in on me at work through my work landline instead of my cell.
So recently I finally was at my breaking point and told her that she is out of chances. That if she doesn't start trusting me that we are done. That means no more going through my phone or email, no more calling me on the work phone, none of it. She agreed but for piece of mind I recruited my coworker and good friend the next day. I deleted our entire text history, changed his name in my phone to a girls name and we send very dirty and explicit texts back and forth.
So that night she goes through my phone and wakes me up saying that she knew I was cheating on her holding my phone as proof. I don't correct her about who was really on the other end of those texts I just told her that I am not fighting that she has to leave and she needs to get her shit out at the end of the week.
So while my coworker/buddy agrees that I needed to dump her he thinks it was a bit of a dick move not to tell her it was actually him and to let her assume she had another ex cheat on her. The way I see it I tried everything I could while we were dating to help her get past her anxiety and to show her I wasn't cheating but she refused to help herself so it is no longer my responsibility worry about her insecurities.
But I figure I would ask you fine people. Does that make me the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 22
} | WRONG |
XiFjED2jRb6OUWYTIySeKAZvbyB9kXER | aswna6 | null | AITA hubs new Rifle | Ordered Hubs an expensive rifle he wanted. Thought I would add an engraving. 6 weeks later he picks up rifle. The engraving is larger then expected and white. I apologize and say I will re buy the rifle ($2200) or get it fixed/removed. Sure enough, I am told it's no problem and it is an easy fix. I send hubs a text that it can be fixed and I'll take care of it. He's still mad at me and isn't talking to me now. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TPTc289aYs6fW8FkIuvT75torgwha90A | b6oypn | {
"description": "not letting people play with my ping pong bats",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting people play with my ping pong bats? | At school we have ping pong tables I really wanted to play my friend but the people I was lending my bats to insisted they kept paying I eventually got my bats back. Am I the ass hole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Uye5Sv4N4QOTDOULVBoahYJYVJFvVA9f | b3x6r3 | {
"description": "not wanting to go to a wedding over something that happened 2 years ago",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go to a wedding over something that happened 2 years ago? | So there is this couple (28 M & F) that I (21F) have known for several years. We are all part of a large mutual friend group. They are getting married this summer and I am reluctant to go because I am still hurt over a situation that happened 2 years ago.
The story goes my bf (24) and I were hanging out with the couple in their home having some beers and chatting. She was sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend and I was sitting on the floor while her now fiancé was sitting in a chair. He told me that I could share the chair with him so I didn’t have to sit on the floor. Thinking nothing of it, I sat next to him on the chair and we continued our conversation. She went ballistic on me. Started calling me a whore, a bitch, a skank, all because I sat next to her boyfriend on the chair (even though she was sitting next to my boyfriend on the couch) and was accusing me of trying to steal him. I ran home sobbing, guilty over something I didn’t do wrong. My boyfriend was comforting me and her boyfriend eventually came over to apologize for her behavior, blaming it on the alcohol.
After this situation happened, I was willing to let it go if she had just apologized for the situation. Rather than apologizing, they stopped talking to me for 6 months. My boyfriend tried asking the couple what their problem and her boyfriend stated that her feelings were “valid” and they needed space from me. I don’t know how someone could need space from me while all I did was sit next to him in a chair? Even my boyfriend believes that they’re the fucked ones in the situation.
By the 6th month my boyfriend was trying to get me to speak to the couple and let bygones be bygones. I didn’t want there to be any more drama within our friend group so I just let it go. I secretly haven’t let it go because I was extremely hurt by her comments and her boyfriend defending her even though he was the one that asked me to sit next to him. They are getting married out of state where I will have to be spending over $200 for a plane ticket and spend even more money on a hotel. My boyfriend is in the wedding party so I feel like I have to go even though I don’t want to.
I’ve expressed my feelings of still being hurt to my boyfriend and other mutual friends, but they all say I should let it go because they have and it happened over 2 years ago. AITA or petty for not wanting to go to their wedding?
TLDR: couple is getting married and I don’t want to go to their wedding because the woman called me harsh names over something I never did and she never apologized for it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
66iH9WiVP7ahSe9AQIHCJBtt0Pg9fFld | alizw1 | {
"description": "leaving my bf by just taking my things and leaving",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for Leaving My BF (28/m) by Just Taking my Things and Leaving? | Sunday I (26/f) was invited over to boyfriend's house after he had been out the night before at a bachelor party. I hadn't heard from him all night, he claimed his phone died, whatever. I got in touch with him the next morning. He was hungover, so I asked if he was just going to be miserable in bed all day; I didn't just want to be in bed all day while he was nursing a hangover. He said no, and that he intended to start drinking when he and his roommate got back from the store (it was 9am). I thought he was kidding...
I arrive, with multiple items after several stops he requested so we could make something for dinner. He was already into the vodka and fireball. I work nights, and didn't have to be at work until 9pm the next night, I thought, what the hell, and had a couple shots myself and some wine. An hour or so goes by and he goes to his bedroom to lay down. He puts on some videos (cops or whatever) and I suggest a movie since he was passing out anyway.
One of my favorites was playing, The Big Lebowski. Bf was chatty, in and out, a little flirty, but was likely a little tipsy, as was I. I was chatting to him about the movie. He asked me to go get him cake. I brought it back, continued to give him movie trivia, and his tone and demeanor quickly changed. Angrily "I'm just trying to take a nap, sorry I don't care about your shitty movie!" I was floored. I forgot exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of berating me for talking to me like garbage (a conversation we also had the night before). I was mad and flustered and started to collect my things to leave.
On my way home, I realized I had forgotton the license plates he was going to put on that day. I was pretty pissed at myself, but had to turn around to get them. He confronted me in the living room, was apologetic, asked me to lie down with him...I was already too creeped out and in tears, railing off about how disrespectful he was.
Him: "All I want to do is lie down"
Me: "then I'm fucking leaving, why did you have me come over to begin with?"
I stormed out and collected more of my things. The next day I cleaned my stuff completely out of his place and left his key on the table, not trying to be passive aggressive, but transparent. I haven't heard from him since, I don't intend to see him again.
Tl;dr, boyfriend of a few months with possible drinking problem, talks to me like crap. I intend to ghost him after clearing house of my things. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
sovnWRmhkIBd8owEtmddqpIZtyI2fAYx | az0dj5 | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my husband when he gets home from work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to my husband when he gets home from work? | I [22f] am a SAHM to my one year old and three year old. My husband [27m] owns a business and works mostly outside of the home. He works by himself so he is usually very chatty when he gets home. It used to be fine but I’m burned out by the time he gets home now.
I’m having an issue with the fact that he will come home and unload his whole day on me within minutes of walking through the door. I just can’t handle it. I’ve been alone with toddlers all day. When he comes home I don’t want to hear about all these problems. I really don’t want to hear about anything at all. I need some time and space.
The main problem is that what he has to say is mostly complaints. About whatever may have happened that day. Sometimes he’s doing a frustrating job and it gets worse. It’s too much to listen to when I don’t have the mental capacity for it. And because it’s business related, and his business is our livelihood, it starts giving me anxiety hearing about the issues. Sometimes he’ll take work calls in front of me, for what seems like no reason. Like he’ll be in the kitchen, get a phone call, come to the living room in the middle of my show just so I have to hear the call?
I bring this up, voice my concerns, and it goes right back the next day. Usually he’ll start, I’ll cut him off and say “hey, maybe we could talk about this in an hour or so. Actually, now that you’re home and you can watch the kids, I’d like to be alone for a couple minutes. That’s why I came to our bedroom and closed the door...and you followed me in here...” Sometimes when what he has to say is really complaining I just say flat out I’m not interested in hearing about it at all.
Even if he stops the venting stuff, it annoys the fuck out of me how he wants to hang out as soon as he gets home. Sometimes I don’t want to casually chat either, not right away. Again, I’ve been with toddlers all day. I want thirty minutes where no one is speaking to me, asking me something, even making noise around me.
He ALWAYS takes offense. I have tried and tried explaining that I just can’t have him unload all of his shit on me if I’m not ready for it. He ALWAYS brings it back to me not caring about his day or wanting to talk to him. I get that he’s been alone a lot of the day, but I just can’t handle it and it’s really becoming a problem with me that he doesn’t understand.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
BtjaK6SdN0qN0rU6C6SLMrRBg095f4O0 | b891gt | null | AITA: For the way I rejected a friend | Basically I'm bi but after HS I decided that I am not compatible guys and my senior bf would be my last. My guy friends are loving assholes and so am I. They are all aware of my high school romantic experience ( Freshman bf, two and a half years of girl craze, senior bf then back to girl craze).
I'm in uni and so are many of my guy friends, turns out one of them likes me. Obviously i'm not going to date him so I told that's a bad idea. He asked why and I explained. Everything was said in a form of a joke.
* We're assholes and two assholes are a bad idea in a relationship.
* I don't find him attractive
* I don't like dick
* I don't date assholes
* I am nicer in a relationship and since I know he is an ass I wouldn't trust him in a relationship because being serious is hard for him
* I wouldn't have sex with him and he is very sexual
* I am a sadist and he doesn't like pain
He was cool about it and joked about me being crazy bitch. We laughed and that was the end of it. I thought it was funny and told the situation to a friend. This friend wasn't in the asshole group so I removed all offensive jokes and identify of the other person. I basically list why I would be a bad partner to a guy which is often the humor we used together.
Surprisingly she did not like that and I was really understanding why considering no one got hurt but that didn't matter to her. Her logic was it's really hard to confess so you should treat it kindly. The problem with that is everyone of my friends knows I don't date guys so I think it was more for him rather it being a huge deal type of confession.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
hmQI5D7ECRHe9p9TR3ljjj37p7eOdugO | amh1mu | {
"description": "asking my parents to stop using Essential Oils around my pets",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For asking my parents to stop using Essential Oils around my pets? | Bit of backstory
Im a 17 year old in college and living with my parents while I look for houses. I have 2 rodents and a cat.
My parents have a cat and a snake.
Recently my Nan has roped my mother into using Essential Oils "they will calm your cats down and make [Dad] love you more!"
So my mother has started buying and using them with my father backing her up all the way. My cat has shown signs of breathing difficulties since they have started using them.
I got mad. My animals were being affected negatively because of their new obsession. I asked calmly at first for them to stop. Showing vet documents from people who have had their pets die from oil usage. My mother blew up in my face saying how she wasn't stupid and didn't need a child telling her what to do. I retaliated (I probably shouldn't of but I was angry and worried for my animals) stating she was stupid for listening to brainwashing from places like Doterra. She stormed off abd my father had demanded I go into my room.
I've been getting the silent treatment since.
They still use the oils.
Am I the asshole for bringing up my concerns about my animals and their "new way to keep the house smelling nice"
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
QrBxIyxtizOUx1eIzxuZBteN0o5k0iUL | a47qwl | {
"description": "not wanting to be my brother's ex-girlfriend's brother and roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be my brother’s ex-girlfriend’s brother and roommate? | I think I’m something of a reserved person, and I’m just not used to confronting people, so I feel like what I need to do and have to say about my brother’s ex could be asshole territory so I want a second opinion.
Basically, my brother met his ex a few years ago and she changed his life for the better. Before this, he could be downright vicious. He would scream at my parents for telling him to do homework, beat me, and choke me for saying things that any brother would. But I’ve forgiven all of this, because he truly became a better person. He went to a great school and came out better because of their relationship.
During the time he went to college (where she attended as well), they seemed to just *hate* each other. What was once a mutually beneficial relationship soured and they were on again and off again for years. Basically, she would lock him out of their apartment, and just do erratic things in general that nearly sent him to the brink of suicide.
But I’ve always felt that their relationship was weird beyond that. My brother never had a girlfriend before (he was 17, she was 24) and brought her home to meet my parents immediately and demanded that they get her a car and pay for an apartment for them both (she was living with her parents at the time). Today, all that she pays for is her car payment, everything else in her life my parents are paying for (rent, cable, you name it). And my parents aren’t wealthy, they just wanted my brother to be happy. But when they were attending college my brother’s girlfriend asked my parents to get them a new apartment and she would start paying rent finally, but she didn’t. This caused a great deal of stress for my parents.
And she lies constantly. The first night we met her, she lied about being a National Merit Scholar. She’s lied about paying my parents back and postpones paying them back constantly, and she constantly fakes illnesses to get out of work and school. And she has so much drama in her life, everyday she comes home from work she has some kind of fight with a friend going on. She’s lost nearly every friend she’s made. If you ask me, that might say a lot about a person.
While my brother, Alex, was dating her she started somehow accompanying us everywhere and saying that she loves my mother and father. I thought it was weird, then she tried to get me to say I love her. I didn’t want to, and still don’t. It was just really strange to me. My brother and her weren’t married. They had been together for less than a year. As far as I’m concerned, this is just some random stranger who my parents pay for everything in her life even though she works two jobs.
Today, she wants me to be her roommate as I’m going to attend the same university that my brother did (his girlfriend dropped out and seems to not intend to graduate), but I’ve seen how she lives. I can handle a messy apartment, but not the smell of rotting food in dishes. And she has a new boyfriend, who shares my exact name and also has a brother named Alex, oddly enough. I could go on about all the thousands of dollars my parents have spent on her and how she’ll never pay them back, how untrustworthy I find her to be. I don’t want to be her brother, and I sure as hell don’t want to be her roommate and have my parents pay for everything in her life.
But what do you think from this information? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0q5vr9MCrolD2gdYTR1rLfJZiRo56ESd | b70hcq | {
"description": "not giving a homeless man some chips",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving a homeless man some chips? | This isn’t as dramatic as most stories here, but whatever. I was going home from school one day, waiting for the bus at a metro station and decided to get a snack of a little bag of chips while I waited. I was probably about 14 at the time. Long time ago, but I always cringe at this memory so I’m wondering if I was a jerk.
Anyways this disheveled man walked up to me, literally put his hands out with his palms facing up and asked me if he could have some chips. I was and still am an extremely anxious person and it kind of scared me. So I said no. He just kind of walked off to another corner and I felt like an asshole. Everyone else waiting for their busses were staring at me kind of meanly. Was I the asshole..? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
d9dhnux0MDJfequfaoJSJq6ktQ9WzVvT | b8s36l | {
"description": "stealing from the biodad of my son in order to afford his meds",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for stealing from the biodad of my son in order to afford his meds? | Not so much an am I *the* asshole but rather am I *an* asshole
I took $68.50(yes I even took the change...) from the biodad of my 43 week old preemie son / soon to be ex husband with drug addiction. I don't know how to feel.
Basically this is my inner monologue:
**'he's a drug addict, he would've just used it to get high', 'he's his son as well and is entitled to that money' or 'he's your son, your responsibly, you do whatever you gotta do to provide for him'**
*'yes he's your responsibility- exactly- what would've happened if he had caught you and called the police?'*
**they more than likely would've arrested him as he likely has illegal things in that apt of his**
*'no they would probably have taken us both in- him for possession of whatever it is he has and you for theft, they would notify CPS that your sons father is a junkie and that his mother is in the middle of a divorce, just got laid off and has resorted to theft in order to take care of him'*
When people started talking I always took his side and he even managed to buy a drug test and then wait for the results with me, which ofc= negative. The charade was over when he was fired for failing a random drug test. Our home voicemail got the message. He blamed me for his losing his job which is just..wow how high are you rn..because he'd used the fake pee he'd ordered online TO FOOL ME and didn't have any when random testing day came along.
Anyways, this morning I drove by his apt building to ask him for help in paying for our sons meds and he wasn't home. (he was 17 days prem and has BPD- was on a ventilator for a long time and still sometimes needs oxygen/regularly takes a meds via his nebulizer). He picked up when I called but said he couldn't help. Ofc not. Out of sheer desperation I took his spare key and went inside his unit and lo ad behold 60 bucks and some change in his nightstand. I took it without a second thought and left. I didn't do it to spite him. My only goal was to care for my son.
Soon after: he calls. raging. saying said he'll call his lawyer and take my son away and ruin my life. I told him no judge worth a grain of salt would ever sign over custody of a newborn to a deadbeat junkie who can't spare $50 to pay for said newborns meds and hung up. That was 3 hrs. ago. But now my son has meds for the next 2 wks and by then I'm sure I'll have something figured out.
But is it ever okay to do what I did? Addict or not, father of my child or not, I entered his apt & took his $ without consent. What kind of example am I setting for my son? Is it ever justifiable or am I just trying to make excuses for myself. I feel like an idiot for letting my life come to this and even worse for whining and feeling sorry for myself. If there's an emoji for dejectedly slamming one's head on their keyboard[insert that here].
I needed to get this off my chest. Sorry.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
oBUZ8DeES8JmUIJCvyZZuF41AHBNniyO | ajlld8 | {
"description": "wanting to go and see a movie and get dinner for my birth day",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Aita for wanting to go and see a movie and get dinner for my birth day? | This is stupid so I'll keep this short I'm turning 16 Saturday and i was talking to my friends about going to see a movie and get some dinner but my friends little sisters party is on Saturday day as well. So I'm talking to my friend and we can leave the party after 2 hours go see a movie and get something to eat, thay all agree that would work out. I'd asked them today if this is still going on and thay all agreed that it would be rude to leave early and decide not to go. I know this is childish and stupid and not that serious but i would rather go see a movie then hang out at a house full of 10yo so aita ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
TslV8m2lH3RRpr274WGqkjrKtbZvdG25 | b0dx7t | null | AITA: When I was in HS, I would come from gym class to biology. | Once in biology, I would always put on deodorant, and not make any attempts to hide it. The teacher would see me and then scold me for doing so in front of her. She even threatened to give me detention one time when it kept happening. I didn’t see y as a big deal at all so of course I never remembered to stop doing so in her presence. It kept happening, with no ill intention from me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
cB4Jo39lesbR3OSXajApGJGKRlUvqTvh | als07v | null | AITA - My Chinese coworker has been in the US for 25 years and still can't speak English very well. Am I the asshole for thinking she should by now? | My coworker is from China but emigrated to the US 25 years ago. Her English is nearly impossible to understand, and it drives me nuts. We work in a technically complex field, so communication is key.
I would feel differently about it if she hadn't been here so long, but 25 years is time enough to learn the common tongue.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 7
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
FYAMrrLuCflTKHNBZft730nYg2ju3tPg | b5k02p | {
"description": "paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter",
"pronormative_score": 285,
"contranormative_score": 154
} | AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? | Before I get judged to quickly, let me explain.
22 years ago, I had a one night stand and accidentally got the woman pregnant. I didn’t want to keep the baby (obviously), but ultimately, she didn’t feel comfortable with an abortion and wanted to keep it. I decided to step up and be a father to my child. Together, we have an gorgeous daughter who’s about to graduate from undergrad and intends to go to grad school.
This weekend, my daughter called me and said her mom wasn’t willing to pay for grad school, and she asked if I could help supplement her education. Her reasoning is that I’m planning to pay for my son (her half-brother) to go to school, and she feels like I should contribute to her education. She sounded seemed to end the conversation early. About an hour later, I got a text from her LIVID. She accused me of caring more about my “real” family as opposed to her because I haven’t paid anything for her college career. But, there’s so many reason I’m not comfortable paying for her education, including:
1. I pay child support. I’m a civil engineer with a relatively decent salary, so the courts made me contribute a SIGNIFICANT amount of money. I tried to get it lowered, to no avail, but calculating the costs, I contribute way more money to my daughter than my son.
2. My daughter wants to go to expensive private school, while my son wants to go to a less expensive state school. Her graduate school costs upwards of $30,000+ a year for two years, while my son’s entire 4 year cost will be less than $25,000.
3. When she graduated from high school, I spent $12,000 of my own money (no help from her mother) to give her a car, while the only thing I’m giving my son is a new game console and some video games.
4. Her mom in the high 5-digits - low 6-digit salary and can afford to pay her education. My wife (my son’s mother) makes about 500 a month with her own little business. It’s not much, but she can do it from home and help with the kid.
5. My son is choosing a practical major. He wants to go to Computer Science. While she wants to get her degree in something useless (not going to be specific, but think along the lines of gender or black studies).
I told her that I support her academic endeavors, but I’m not a bank and my money is mine, and that I don’t appreciate being talked to with so little disrespect. I see her every other weekend, spend time with her, and have shown I’m a good father, and to overreact over something trivial is disrespectful. She told me to to enjoy my real family because I obviously love them more than her. That hurt; i told her that we can talk later when she’s less emotional (maybe not the best choice of words) and she told me to “fuck off you sexist asshole”. I didn’t mean it like like the way she took it; I think she’s blowing it out of proportion.
Tl;dr: Paying for son’s undergrad, but refused to pay daughter’s grad degree and I’m somehow sexist. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 119,
"OTHER": 278,
"EVERYBODY": 35,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 17
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 285,
"WRONG": 154
} | RIGHT |
pB6xSDJasu1X3YVGVCXwcrF41U8867pz | a9aomy | {
"description": "trying to teach my 7 yo nephew the meaning of the word compromise",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for trying to teach my 7 yo nephew the meaning of the word compromise? | So tonight my whole family came to have dinner at my parents house. Santa arrived and brought so many presents for all the kids that our living room looked like a tornado arrived, everybody was having a good time except for my nephew.
He didn't want to play with his toys and told me that books are lame(he got 1 book, 3 Lego sets and 4 interactive games). He was really upset so I asked him why was he throwing a tantrum. He told me he really wanted one specific video game. I told him that he should settle with what he had and that maybe for his birthday he would get that, and that if he wanted he could leave all his new toys and that I would give them to the charity group I support, that some kids don't have food and that toys are a beautiful thing he should cherish. I was really gentle, I didn't want to hurt him but looking at him punching and mishandling his gifts really got me upset. My cousin told me I should leave the kid alone, that teaching him difficult words like compromise is useless, and I should stop being an A. Guys is he too young to understand that he should be happy with what he got? Am I overreacting? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
9a7GJRUHKNw5ohztAEJw80KfNKpwyl2s | arzlgh | {
"description": "being mad at my friend when he goes over to sellers at the flea market and calls their products \"rip offs\" and \"knock offs\" right to their face",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my friend when he goes over to sellers at the flea market and calls their products "rip offs" and "knock offs" right to their face? | There will be stuff from china made to look like airpods or something and he'll just go up to these ordinary people selling them and be like "Oh I see you got the airpod ripoffs" right to their face. I think it's rude, I told him that he's gonna get punched or that it's probably disrespectful to the sellers who are just trying to make money but he says he's not interested, says that he'd rather just get punched. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kaseeNGNvddHjIlvOSNeNghAkehxHOFO | axhqqs | {
"description": "leading on multiple girls at once",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for leading on multiple girls at once? | Hang on, the title does seem bad but I have a very convenient excuse. There are 2 girls in real life that I flirt with constantly, nothing major just some light teasing and the occasional proposal (they are rich so I propose to them so I am called the gold digger).
Here's one of the problems, I dont like either of them, I hook up with one of them but that's about it, I have no intentions of pushing the boundaries because I don't want to and I dont feel it's appropriate. I have never asked them to pay for anything for me or they have done so.
My next problem is that I seriously close with two different girls I've met online. Again I dont like either one but jesus hell, I listen to their problems and talk to them about and next thing I know they are planning trips to meet me. I might sleep with them but I don't want a relationship. It's gotten to a point where I don't know what to feel and I feel embarrassed to tell them that I dont expect anything from this. AITA for leading them on?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
eV5Hk2LS0SRqeB6bx3gyQrxGo327fa1x | a3p3xk | {
"description": "tailgating people that drive under the speed limit to tell them to speed up or get over",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA, I tailgate people that drive under the speed limit to tell them to speed up or get over. | Exceptions to this rule include people hauling trailers, 18 wheelers, or people passing 18 wheelers.
Edit: damn, I guess I need to chill
Edit 2: I get it, I am a huge asshole that is going to murder a child. I should get a ticket straight to hell for wanting to go a little faster.
In all seriousness, I have reconsidered my driving habits and will have to work hard to calm myself while driving. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
MVWRvd8lEZtyNCRAPRi5KNWKnKMWNAH8 | aq2vtu | {
"description": "not waiting on my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not waiting on my Girlfriend? | So last Thursday was my birthday and I decided to throw a party that following Friday for my acquaintances and close friends and I also planned to go on a hiking trail for just my girlfriend and I that following Sunday.
Now I was more excited for hiking since its about an two hours away and its a popular trail. I like to get there as early as possible and since the park opened at 8am I thought to leave my house by 6am so I can get there on time. I told my girlfriend plenty of times about this plan and she confirmed she understood.
But my girlfriends co worker had a birthday too but it was that following Saturday and I was aware about it but I wasn't aware that they would go out drinking that night. So I told my girlfriend if she still was going to able to be ready by 6am the next day which was Sunday. She assured me that she would be ready by then and that I shouldn't worry, I didn't go with her because we all got trashed on my birthday and I wanted to rest up for the hike.
So that Sunday I wake up at 5:30am and I text her if she is ready and I get no response, I wait another 15 minutes and I call her and still no answer. So I leave my house and by the time I am about 30 minutes away from the park I get a text message but I ignore it since I am on the highway and the road to the park at that point gets really windy. I park and I see a bunch of texts from her saying if I was still going to pick her up and where I was. I responded to her that I was at the park already and I will text her when I am done.
The park has no reception, so I completed one the trails and it took a good chunk of the day and by the time I was heading home it was late afternoon. I called her and told her I was on my way but I was tired and in need of a shower and since my girlfriend doesn't drive I would've had to stop by her house then mine. She said she was upset that I left her and that I am an asshole for doing so, I reminded her that I planned this for a while. She hung up and I went home to pass out from the hike.
She is till upset and told me that this is a possible deal breaker since I am not boyfriend material for leaving her behind.
AITA for leaving her behind?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Sz6usnbZGuzh08AIq5PldrzqvW2PfVpe | b2rox0 | {
"description": "not wanting to lose my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not wanting to lose my best friend? | So my closest friend of 10 years has been getting closer to someone else and I'm worried shes gonna stop spending time with me. She's known this guy for less than a year and they're already extremely close and seem closer to each other than my best friend is to me. They mess around and laugh with eachother while I'm talking to someone else, and its honestly kind of upsetting. I've begun to feel like the second best friend, so I decided to talk to her about it. I told her how she's forgetting about me for this guy shes only known for a small amount of time. I told her that the way they are around each other (being flirty and being physically close) makes me uncomfortable and that if they are around me, to not act that way.
I don't want to make her choose, but I've known her for 10 years I should have some level of priority to her. I'm only doing this because I don't want to lose my friend.
Am I the asshole for trying to preserve my friendship? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
2YhWtrqjahR0HwWfTDg3A5Lg7kPyXK48 | az4o7d | {
"description": "taking a job at a competing business to my dad's businesses",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for taking a job at a competing business to my dad’s businesses? | Last month I turned 15, my parents said I have to get a job to pay board, my food, my clothes and to rent my laptop from my parents. I asked my Dad if I could work at one of the fast-food places he owns. He said no that would be called nepotism. I then filled out job applications online but didn’t hear back probably because nowhere wants to hire a kid (I’m not allowed to work more than 3 hours a day on a school night). Dad made me print resumes (he and mum said that's how they got their first jobs) and hand them to businesses but the places told me to submit online and they don’t take paper anymore. Mum and Dad both said I didn’t convince them hard enough.
The other day I got a job at a competing fast-food business and accepted (it’s only a 45min bus ride after school!). My parents then said I was deliberately disrespecting the family and their hard work by taking that job. I told them I got a job as they asked. Am I the arsehole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
QkU6McGY5FdDI63iDVfR7tzhvXbdeC7b | 9zlix6 | {
"description": "thinking that I should be able to go with my boyfriend to Europe",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for thinking that I should be able to go with my boyfriend to Europe? | Hey, I apologize for any spacing issues, I am on mobile. So a little background, my boyfriend (18) and I(18) have been dating for almost a year and we're very happy together. However, he is in college right now, but I am taking a gap year so while he's at school we're long-distance, so we don't get to see each other much, usually I'll see him for a weekend every couple or few weeks or so. During summer, we are together a lot.
Going off of that, he recently brought up to me that he and some friends are thinking about a trip to Europe in the summer next year. One of his friends has confirmed for me that the trip is happening. They will be backpacking and staying in hostels so it wouldn't be expensive. He went on and on about how amazing this trip would be and all the things they will get to see.
I've told him before how my mother used to backpack around Europe and that I've always wanted to try it someday, but I don't think he even considered bringing me. I wouldn't be asking him to pay for me or anything, I would pay my own way. I just thought it would be amazing to experience an amazing trip like that with the person I love, but I dont think he has had the same thought.
Am I the asshole for thinking that maybe he should consider bringing me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
8kmUcLRhc3QTvwumbPYmLe0Jpfokxwe0 | atumh4 | null | AITA or rather AWTA for not believing my friend talking about his mental illnesses | Some background, we are both 14m, and he lies so often it's borderline pathological, it's always some terminally ill friend or a cheating ex or some bullshit like that and he'll keep it going for months before admitting it was bullshit, and we just give him the benefit of the doubt
every
damn
time
However, recently he has started to claim he has several mental disorders, such as the commonly self-diagnosed such as depression, anxiety, and OCD, none of which have been actually diagnosed, and he doesn't seem to have them, but I know that these things can be hard to see, and I don't know what he's going through, so I give him the benefit of the doubt, and actively try to comfort him about these things (even though I'm pretty socially awkward so I'm probably not the best at it), but the real problem is him making up him having a shit ton more conditions, like multiple personality disorder, ADHD, Insomnia, Tourettes and Bipolar, and the only reason I know half of these is because he seems to tell everyone different things, but no-one in the friend group believes him.
we try to get him to get them diagnosed so he can have medication or therapy, but he refuses and claims he hates doctors, but given how often he makes up bullshit it seems like he's just trying to get out of a situation that can prove he's a liar and everyone is just done with his bullshit and once there was a pretty heated argument in our group chat where we upset him enough to leave, but all we were doing was telling him that he should go to the doctors.
so AWTA?
If it helps you decide, he's always really rude, and a massive dick no matter what, doing shit can't be excused by any of the mental illnesses he claims he has and honestly just pisses me off to no end, he's a huge hypocrite, really manipulative and massively selfish, he acted like me when I was 10, before I grew out of the "I am better than everyone and I deserve all of the attention, and it doesn't matter how I get it phase" | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mJDHPTMjJLUEZbcwIzfDoCKx8mRIdTVO | axifaj | {
"description": "not wanting my roommate to wash his clothes with all-purpose cleaner",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my roommate to wash his clothes with all-purpose cleaner? | My roommate has not had any laundry detergent of his own, me and my other roommates usually buy laundry pods every couple of weeks to do our laundry. My roommate hasn't picked up any laundry detergent since moving in in August and when there aren't any pods around or laundry detergent he pours simple green all purpose cleaner into our washing machine to wash his clothes. I have told him multiple times that I don't want him using that and that he needs to pick up laundry detergent. AITA for not wanting all purpose cleaner poured into our washing machine? Laundry pods are twenty cents each at our local grocery store down the street so I don't understand how that can be justifiable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xbohaMrokkX5ulZxtJnxfsNjoNkAlWnk | ah3p0t | {
"description": "wanting to be paid for three days of work even when I live with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for wanting to be paid for three days of work even when I live with my parents? | My dad needed help doing yardwork, heavy all day labor involving moving logs, out of town for free. I agreed and came without my medication (which I need to take in the morning before I drive, otherwise it’s unsafe) or a change of clothes or a toothbrush or anything. I’m currently trying to apply for a job and need to work on my resume, which requires a computer, something I don’t have access to here. Instead of letting me go back home, he made me stay and told me my mom would bring my medication the next day so I could drive back in the afternoon. Now it’s evening and he wants a third full day of work without giving me any money in return while getting mad at me for not having a job yet and telling me to stop bitching when I complained and now I just want to curl up and cry. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
pUV4Ipp3hQYgWkcaX9TDYh5gCqU30bz4 | ba0560 | {
"description": "getting angry at my friend for treating me like shit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I got angry at my friend for treating me like shit? | My friend and I hang out a lot, but recently our dynamic has changed. About a month ago I told her I liked her, but that I didn't expect her to feel the same way and I hoped our relationship would remain intact. We have been very close and not much has changed.
Recently, however, she has been treating me like dirt. I would want to hang out with her and be near her, but she would tell me to f*** off. I figured she was just in a bad mood, (confirmed by mutual friends) but she doesn't seem to have a problem with anyone but me.
I talked to a few of our friend and apparently she is going through a really tough time right now, and she felt super bad for telling me off the way she did. I have been giving her as much space as I possibly can. When she walks into a room and ignores me, I leave until she is gone. I feel like I've done everything I can to let her process what she needs to, but she doesn't seem to feel bad at all anymore.
This has had a huge impact on my life recently. She has made me feel like dirt by pushing me away. At this point, I'm not even sure I like her romantically anymore, but this is still hurting me because she's one of my best friends.
I don't even know what she's mad about, and all of my friends are saying she feels bad about what she's been doing, but she's done nothing to change it or even apologize. I sent her a few texts apologizing for whatever I may have done wrong and asking what I could do to fix it, but she's ignored them.
My only solution I have left is to walk up to her and tell her what she is doing to me. How this isn't because of me liking her, but because she is my friend. But with all of the stuff she's going through, it may just make things worse. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DEiVoTJli23voiDMcOJtXPIHmF6XQ71D | aphyc7 | null | AITA for my reaction when leaving my cheating (ex) GF | Recently found out my GF of three years has been cheating on me. For practical reasons we didn't live together but I might as well have lived at hers with her family many weekends and vice versa she stopped with mine, hanging around and helping people out. Both of us work so we'd be around at separate times and reserve our time for the weekends. To cut a long story short while at hers while she was out I borrowed 'her' Micro-ATX PC (I built it for her from some spare/old parts I had as a Christmas gift) because I'd fucked up and left mine at home and needed it for something. She normally kept the password from me (she was very insistent on privacy, she respected mine so generally I respected hers) but I had figured it out from watching her enter it and figured she wouldn't mind it as a one off. Unfortunately when I was trawling through her images folder to find something I'd saved I accidentally dug up a photo of my GF performing fellatio which I didn't recognise taking and it bothered me enough that I searched for it and found more in another folder, including photos where the male body obviously wasn't mine (tattoos) and a video clip of a bloke masturbating that definitely wasn't mine. Went onto her email and found stuff for dating/hookup sites and emails from this same bloke.
Very upset but didn't know what else to do so I made copies of the stuff on my USB. When she got back I confronted her about it and again, cutting a long story short after some blatant lies and excuses I realised that everything about her is a fucking lying/mind game and decided I was going to cut her out of my life. Went to grab my things including 'her' PC that was paid for with my parts and money while she roared her eyes off in the toilet calling her parents who were out and bagged it up. As I was leaving she tried to stop me first and in the heat of our argument I pushed past her, left in tears. Got some angry texts from her family asking what had happened and saying I was a piece of shit etc. My parents and other relatives (who she was reportedly close to) also found out and I got sick of the flak I was getting from both her family and a few in mine who seem to think I was blowing something out of proportion (she made up some bollocks about me overreacting to her hanging around colleagues) and eventually snapped under the pressure and showed them copies of the photos of her being sexually involved with another man, sexual messages etc as proof she was doing the dirty behind my back.
I also got a call from a hidden number yesterday from her insulting me and telling me everyone would be better off if I killed myself etc. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
I5NubFOz8Q82h1BJS5cdSkbXRczyYekO | agdnt1 | {
"description": "wanting to walk out mid appointment at a new optometrist",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to walk out mid appointment at a new optometrist? | I’ve been here for an hour, for a glasses and contact prescription, he came in for less than 10 minutes and looked at my eyes, asked me zero questions, and then left and said someone else would be in to give me contacts, and then he told his assistant that I want to try contacts.
I’m not here to try contacts. I have contacts. I have several issues with them, which is why I came to an optometrist, and now I’m going to have to take another afternoon off work to see another optometrist.
WIBTA to tell them not to bill my insurance and to refund payment (they collect your copay before you can see the doctor)? I’m willing to dispute this with my insurance and credit card because this is ridiculous. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
v9eD0JTYA92GJC86i4rx4I5nWAHdfpUD | 9www4b | {
"description": "ignoring a clingy friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ignoring a clingy friend? | To put it into context, I've been friends with this guy for about 12 years. I've always noticed he's clingy, at first it didn't bother me too much because I was younger and didn't care about hanging out with him all the time. But now I'm 27 and he's 29. He's married and has a child now but he still bugs me to come over all the time and I just don't get it.
I don't necessarily hate or dislike the guy, he has been generous with me and he isn't a shitty person. But I'm 27 and single, honestly, I'm trying to get my shit straight and not hang out all the time. But everytime I go over his place, he ramps back up and bugs me constantly for a couple weeks until he backs off again. I've gotten to the point where I just ignore his calls and texts, not entirely to be a dick, I just am busy a lot of the time too.
I'm also looking for any advice on how to get him to stop being so clingy. I just do get really annoyed when he's basically texting me a few hours after hanging out with him, to hang out again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
b6orQVEkcIXuJHTd0ss0pKfSOjGlfLYI | atdv1r | {
"description": "calling my best friends gf racist",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA For calling my best friends gf racist | I was on the phone with a close friend and he was telling me he loves the show peeky blinders but his girlfriend wont watch it because of the english accents. I asked what he meant and he said "she hates British accents." I luaghed and said bro thats racist. He then got super heated and lectured me for an hour about how its only racist if she wouldnt watch it because of a skin color. I told him "it would be different if she said she didnt want to watch the show because she couldnt understand it due to the accents, but the fact that she just plainly hates English accents seems a little racist" Hes still mad and me and idk if I'm in the wrong
TL;DR I called my friends girlfriend racist for saying she doesnt want to watch a show because she doesn't like english accents | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
T2QhBDxvDRrcF73ubMGKVHM5yUwNlZFO | atc61h | {
"description": "not playing with the dog",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not playing with the dog? | Longtime lurker, mobile, Yadayadayada
I was relaxing on my computer when I started feeling sick to my stomach. I turn off my PC and check downstairs to see if dinner is ready (my room is upstairs) dinner was briskit in a pressure cooker, but wasnt fully cooked for another 10 minutes and then time to prepare so I went back upstairs. (Important later, my dad was sitting at the bottom of the stairs seemingly happily petting the dog, sister machine potatoes and mom doing whatever to prepare food)
So I go back upstairs and set my phone down and try to shut my eyes thinking I would relax for 15 minutes then get up and go to dinner. But again, my stomach was still really upset. I few minutes in my mom texts me and asks "Hey would you come down and play with [dog] for a few min..." the text cut off, I assumed that was it but the full text was "Hey would you come down and play with Nala for a bit? Dads trying to work and she's not leaving him alone. Josie and I are making dinner."
The thing is I didn't see this part, and because I was sick to my stomach I ignored it, I really wasnt feeling good.
Adventually my mom calls me and says to come down, I go okay okay and trudge my way downstairs, where the mood was kinda bad. My dad was on his computer at the table across from the island we normally eat at. He was obviously stressed and I assumed he had a bad day at work (I still haven't seen the full text, and never did until writing this) my mom apologizes and says the brisket is bad, because the cut of meat was bad. That was true, she cooked it find, but it was very fatty and weird for brisket.
I kinda entertain the dog for a minute, dog goes outside, dog comes inside, I start eating. (By the way its pouring outside, which is rare for where I live) I'm eating and my dad is mad. He gets up to take the dog for a walk (in the rain) and says something like "I shouldn't have to entertain [dog] it's stupid that I work so hard to put this food on the table and you cant have it prepared for me" (by it he refers to having dog tired for when he comes home) so my sister is very surprised, I dont say anything, my mom says a few words. I assume he will sleep ir off and we will forget this thing. He comes back and starts talking more about "you cant spend 30 minute to wear our the dog" then gives her a bone and says "instead of playing with her we'll just give her a bone that's bad for her and shorten her lifespand" which seemed like it was supposed to be a joke but just didnt work
I clean my plate, and grab a toy and try to play with her, she seems only interested in her bone. I grab her bone and play with her for like a minute, but I was afraid I would lose ber interest if i didnt let her have it. She crawls onto her dog bed.
After that I just go back upstairs and start writing this.
tl;dr: Didnt play with dog because I was sick to my stomach, dad was angry at us for not tiring her out. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
2w973bjWBonKy180YgYQFdSWfstC4oyt | ayi2jy | {
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for texting a stripper",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Being Mad at my Boyfriend for Texting a Stripper? | My boyfriend had planned a trip to Vegas for us to go visit a friend that lived there. I’m in nursing school and unfortunately school got in the way and my sister happened to be visiting that weekend from out of state and I couldn’t go. He was so devastated that I couldn’t go, I had truly never seen him so mad. But, I decided that school and my sister is more important than a Vegas trip.
So he decided that he would go by himself. The friends of his own a strip club. I don’t care that he went to a strip club at all, he can do what he wants in that realm, he’s in Vegas after all. So because he knew the owners he got to be in VIP at the strip club.
From what he told me he was “super drunk” and got to talking with this one stripper. He told me that they talked for two hours just about “life” and “nothing sexual at all”. After awhile somehow she asked for his number and he gave it to her. He texted her that night things like “go get your money girl” or “you’re killing it”. This is just what he has told me. Somehow she found out he was dating me or he told her, I’m not sure how that went down? And then the stripper blocked him on Instagram and blocked his phone number! Super strange how would she even have his Instagram!? Then he proceeded to delete all the text messages between them.
Anyways... when he got back from Vegas he was telling me about this situation like it was not big deal. And all about how good looking this stripper was and how he would love it if I dyed my hair like hers. I couldn’t help but feel like I had been cheated on! It really hurt my feelings and I expressed to him that it was not okay at all. He refused to understand my side of the story just saying that she was a “friend” or whatever.
The next day, I was so upset I expressed to him again how much this hurt me and I feel like I have been emotionally cheated on. He had some remorse but still didn’t understand how I was so hurt by this. I started crying and all that kinda stuff because I was so hurt.
I eventually let it go because I love and care about him. But about a week ago he claimed that I had thrown a “temper tantrum” at the situation. I’m so incredibly upset about this whole thing. His “chillness” about the whole thing makes me feel like I may be over reacting. Do I have the right to be mad about this whole thing? Is there something I’m missing that the texting was really just okay? Am I the asshole in this thing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
q4IXHj6eAUgfan7D960IVULZhIKaKnaK | b30u6y | {
"description": "not going to an estranged friend's baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA if I don’t go to an estranged friend’s baby shower? | TLDR: Got drunk one night, damaged a friendship, tried to repair it. Now they’re finally reaching out... to invite me to a baby shower.
So these friends are married. We’d been friends since high school and I’d known both of them since before they even started dating. I stood next to him at his wedding. I helped him move into his house. We talked at least once a week and made it a point to hang out at least once a month. They’d been trying to have a baby for a while, and were starting to worry maybe they couldn’t.
Anyway, our story begins roughly six or seven months ago, in the fall of 2018. We were hanging out at a bonfire in the woods and drinking. I had a bit too much and blacked out for most of the evening.
Fast forward about a month and a half. I haven’t heard anything from this friend or his wife. As far as I know they’ve just been busy. Now, a group of us usually get together for Halloween and have been doing so for going on ten years at this point. It’s a bit of a tradition and these friends usually host it. Thinking that they must be busy, I reach out to see if they need any help with the party.
At this point my friend responds saying that they actually have the party under control, but that he and his wife had decided not to invite me. Apparently, during that night of drinking I had made a rather offensive joke about their not having a baby yet. I couldn’t say what it was exactly because I don’t even remember making it. I immediately apologize profusely, making it clear that I would never have said something like that sober and that the only reason I hadn’t apologized already was that I had no idea it had happened.
About a month after this, we finally meet up to talk it out and part ways on good terms. I invite them to a New Years Party at my house. I think we’ve worked it out.
A few weeks later, I end up in the hospital after an accident at work. He does come see me in the hospital, and about a month later he comes to my New Years Party, but leaves early. That was the last I saw or talked to him. We’ve only texted maybe three times since all this started and all of them started with me sending the first message.
His wife hasn’t seen or talked to me since fall. I think she was obviously far more hurt than he was, and on top of that is now pregnant.
Now I’ve received a Facebook invite to their baby shower.
I do want to salvage this relationship. Prior to this we had been planning a vacation together. I expected them to be the godparents of my children someday. I recognize that the rift was started by my drunken actions, and I’ve taken responsibility for that.
But after six months of estrangement and the last three months of silence, getting such an impersonal invite to a “give us stuff” event rubs me the wrong way.
AITA for not wanting to go? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Ikqr82PIZJXW1uKFZ1AvSST2dSYHIQST | akpzya | {
"description": "telling my fathers ex-girlfriend to submit a claim through his estate for money she said he owed her after he died",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my fathers ex-girlfriend to submit a claim through his estate for money she said he owed her after he died? | so, first post here, I will do my best.
​
My father died in October of 2018 after a seven day battle with stage 4 cancer. He was a heavy smoker for about 40 years so it wasn't a complete surprise that it happened but we didnt think he would get sick and pass away within a week.
​
The day he passed away my wife took care of him and his ex-girlfriend/ friend was there with him as he passed. Literally as the funeral home was taking him out of his apartment, my wife and the ex-gf were sitting there. As soon as the door shut she looks as my dad and says "By the way, he owed me money, but you don't need to deal with it right now." Needless to say my wife was shocked and just kind of looked at her. A couple of weeks went by and the ex-gf stops by my house and bring a small 3x3 inch spiral notebook full of her hand written notes of money that she had lent him. There are things in this notebook that seem reasonable and others that are out of line. Things like "lent $5000 for surgery" or "moving expenses" and others like "12.75 for McDonalds" or "$5.40 for coffee". The total of these items is somewhere near $25,000. This blew my mind. Who keeps track of things that you either bought or loaned someone over the course of 20 years? I took the notebook and didnt say anything.
​
My father died with little to no money. He had nothing in his bank account, nothing in retirement and no life insurance. The only things he owned were a 12 year old car, the items in his apartment and a home across the state that he has been leasing to the same person for about 15 years. The home is maybe worth $80,000. I have paid all legal fees, paid for the funeral and any other items that needed to be handled out of my own pocket. The last thing I have to do is sell the car and the house and I will be done with it. When we met with our attorney I mentioned the debt that the ex-gf said my father owed. He told us absolutely not to pay her out of our own account and that she should file a claim against the estate. This will protect my family from any future claims that we need to pay more and is the appropriate way to handle debts.
​
I decided to send the notebook back to the ex-gf with a letter suggesting that she file a claim against the estate. I also told her that since the only documentation she has is her notebook, I have no way of knowing what arrangements her and my father may have had or if she similarly owed him for anything as well. I also advised her that it was not personal but the best way to protect my families finances in this situation.
​
She wrote back and said how disappointed in us she is and that she lent him that money and he said that he would pay her back. That it came from her retirement and we should not make her go through this process to get her money back as he would have wanted it all paid back, etc.
​
AITA for suggesting she file the claim against the estate rather than paying out of my pocket once and if I sell the house? Or is there better way to deal with situations like this? | HISTORICAL | {
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zjOIeh3tCTzaC2RxwBZnyCs9K2n4dS1R | aee40u | {
"description": "wanting to be able bring people over for hookups",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to be able bring people over for hookups? | A friend of a few years and I are planning on moving out. I've been wanting to move out for years to get more privacy, and so I can start bringing people over. I mentioned to my friend that I was excited to soon be able to bring over an eventual girlfriend or hookups to my room and they got pissed off, saying it was incredibly disrespectful of me to want to have someone over for sex in my room if they're in the house.
We got into an argument that seems to have called off moving in together for now, but I feel like I'm not in the wrong. I should be allowed to have people over when I'm paying rent, just like they can too. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
FGcf2cTQ4NLL1rJerEJywGlUJStAtYgZ | ar35dc | {
"description": "being upset my roommate changed his plans and messed up mine",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset my roommate changed his plans and messed up mine? | Earlier this week, my roommate and I were talking about Valentine's Day plans. I asked if he was going to stay with his girlfriend (who also lives on campus)? He said he would, but he didn't seem super excited because her roommate was going to be there and he doesn't really like being around her. I asked because I wanted to know if my girlfriend, who lives 45 minutes away, could stay the night with me and we could have some alone time. He knew that was my motivation for asking and probably why he agreed.
​
Come Valentine's Day, he tells me he's probably going to stay in the dorm. Apparently his gf's roommate had plans to go out and not be in the dorm, but her plans fell through so he wanted to stay in our dorm, possible with his girlfriend. I got upset because it messed up my plans and I felt like he could've done more to spare my plans. He got upset and said I was being ungrateful because he made plans for me and then I got upset cause they didn't work out.
​
I know he's got a right to the room and I'm not upset that he wanted to stay there. I was upset that he said he'd do one thing and then changed it. It's not like he hasn't stayed the night with his gf and her roommate before. He's not required to protect my plans but I feel like he it wouldn't have been that big of a deal for him to stay with them any way so both of our plans wouldn't get messed up. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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1lyCSzbtIlZRspBQ4RtwZ4JqulgPeoME | an496z | {
"description": "choosing not to respect a trans person's pronouns",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 25
} | AITA for choosing not to respect a trans person's pronouns? | Using a throwaway acct.
This happened a year or two ago. This person in one of my middle school classes is transgender, and i don't really have an issue with that. I have made it clear to some people, however, that i won't support their choice by referring to them as their pronoun, even though i generally won't refer to them as i'm not really friends with any, and i won't make a fuss about people being trans, that's their choice. Word got around and now this trans person knows about it. So one day we were waiting for class to be over, and one of my friends starts play fighting with some other kid. The trans person (We'll refer to them as A) says "Now now, ladies, settle down." I decided to crack a joke. "Hey, don't misgender him!" I know that joke sucks, but back then the "misgendered" joke was at least a little funny. This set A off, however, and A began screaming and getting in my face about how i'm hypocritical and how i misgender people. I just stood and said "Ok" until B stormed off. I've never gotten any backlash from this incident, but i was wondering how other people think about it. Am i the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 25
} | WRONG |
0tpqjuPScz8EXr4wq9jQSBhLspQlfy1D | ay1v4j | {
"description": "getting back at the Bullies",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA?: Getting Back at the Bullies | So let me just address this first, most of my life I have been a "bigger" guy and have most of my life been bullied for it. This would include Kindergarten through high school which is 8+ years of my life. I've never really stood up for myself because I would get made fun of for going to a teacher and telling them what was going on. So I put up with it, except when I got to 8th grade. During this year when everyone had decided what high school they'd be going to I noticed something.
​
I has the best grades in both of the 8th grade classes. Once I figured this out, I knew exactly how I could get back at them for bullying me. Since no one wanted to be associated with me, I spent most of my time at home constantly doing homework and studying and getting help from my parents when I needed it. By the time we were meeting to see who all got scholarships at our church (I went to a Catholic school so we had one) We waited to see who got what scholarships. The looks on their faces after it was over is something I will always remember (including the parents).
​
Yes some did get scholarships from different colleges I wasn't going to, but they only gave it to one student. I received many awards for my grades as well as my services during mandatory mass and even received a server of the year award many others thought they would receive. The biggest scholarship however, was a two-thousand five hundred dollar scholarship to a high school of the student's choosing, and guess who got it :). The scholarship is awarded by the principal of the school and the teachers who teach 8th grade. Both the teachers and student pick a student who has excelled in their education and has shown how much they care about their grades.
​
When I was given this scholarship I could see both happy smiles, but moreover dirty looks. My parents were so proud of me for doing so well and earning so many scholarships. Now the main school that a bunch of my classmates wanted to go to is a really nice private high school who's tuition is anything far from cheap and earning scholarships there could have really helped lessen the cost per year. So the real question I'm dying to know from other people who know nothing about to avoid a biased answer, is Am I the Asshole for this, or are my old classmates? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 6,
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x2ZPf7Bw0IScVHq5RipTHE27iqSKAJiD | b9yngx | {
"description": "not wanting to get matching jewelry with my sisters",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to get matching jewelry with my sisters? | So backstory, my boyfriend got me this really pretty necklace for Christmas, nothing expensive I'm pretty sure it was like 10 bucks. A month or so later my older sister [24F] got this ring that looked super similar to my necklace, like it looks like they're from a set.
I asked her about it and she said something like "I saw it and thought it was so pretty and it matches your necklace!" That doesn't really bother me all too much, I don't care what she wears although it is weird seeing a replica of my necklace on her hands.
Later, she showed my mom the ring and then said "oh all we have to is get Younger sister [15] earrings and we'll match! Wouldn't that be cool?"
I just told her "i mean yeah that'd be cool but maybe not something that my boyfriend got me?"
She just kinda seemed offended, not horribly angry but just bothered ?
It came up again the next day and i just didn't say anything
When I told my younger sister what happened she at first agreed, until I told her my boyfriend got me the necklace and then changed her mind.
This hasn't been a huge deal, but I'm just wondering if I'm actually in the wrong? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get matching jewelry with my sisters, but this necklace has meaning with my boyfriend, not them.
So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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80C1ghjnRDAIL77L3ecvpTQvjkBRSB2p | ad4h78 | {
"description": "wanting to stop talking/interacting with the guy I like because of his comment",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for Wanting to Stop Talking/Interacting with the guy I like because of his comment? | So me and this boy I’ve liked for a little while have been talking more recently. I’m not all THAT ugly, but many people specifically the “popular girls” consider me a hoe/whore because of the way I dress and how many people I’ve dated. I tend to go towards crop tops, skinny jeans, but that’s not my entire wardrobe which is mostly sweatshirts.
(Also it could be the fact that many guys have liked me since transferring to the school this year)
Normally I honestly wouldn’t care, but the guy I like mentioned that he wouldn’t go out with me with him friends knowing or dance with me at dances since it would “ruin his rep” because his friends think I’m a whore.
This kind of rubbed me wrong and I don’t know if I should be pissy over this comment or simply just ignore it.....
He’s normally not a bad it or tries to be hurtful, he’s a sweet, funny, kind person but I don’t know if he realizes that what he said kinda sucked.
AITA for wanting to stop talking/interacting with this guy over the comment? Or WIBTA if I wanted to approach him over this? | HISTORICAL | {
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NSDbC19SIsyZFquu3X0i6ZKYmTKzGaMh | b3gdam | {
"description": "not staying friend with a girl",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not staying friend with a girl? | I was wondering if I (21M) am the asshole for not staying friend with a girl (18F) who's not certain about dating me.
​
Little backstory, I met her 2 years ago. It was summer and we were working at the same place. Unexpectedly, she became interested in me and we began to hang out. Problem is, she was still in a relationship, she was unsure of what to do but kept saying that she liked me and that I was truly special. As for me, I was insecure, awkward and terrifed of losing the first girl that ever liked me.
Well, it didn't lasted long. Two month. She did eventually left him for me, but I completed a self-fulfilly prophecy by ghosting her, coming back and simply being an asshole because of my fear of losing her. It killed the relationship, we stopped contact and she found another guy.
​
We never kept in touch after. She did tried to reach me many times for friendship by missing "what we had" but each time it ended in me still wanting a relationship with her and refusing as she already had a boyfriend. I blocked her, for it seemed the best choice for both of us.
​
Two year later, we met again at the same school. I see her sometimes with her boyfriend. One day, she sent me a long hand-written letter telling me that she never stopped loving me, that I am still special for her, that she broke up with her boyfriend to have a chance to talk to me and that she'd like to try again.
​
Saying that I felt the luckiest guy in the world would be an understatement : I was shaking of joy. We began texting each other, and met in person plenty of time. It went amazing : the chemistry was there and we both liked our compagny. However, two weeks later, she said to me that she was uncertain about dating me. It felt weird. She elaborated by asking me too wait "A couple of months" to let her adjust to me and by the meantime we could be casual friend. She's also adamant about staying in contact because for two years she felt like shit going NoContact with me.
​
I refused and after many arguments I blocked her. I know what I want : I want to date her because that's how I feel about her. I can wait weeks but I find that months is really long. The uncertainty is killing me and ruining my grades since I keep thinking about her. She's telling me I am selfish and that I don't care about her and i am acting like a child. Since that, I feel awful and always wondering if I did the right thing. Am I the asshole here?
​
TL;DR : Girl like me. She says she want to date me. Turns out she is uncertain and want to wait a couple of months. I block her. She find me selfish. | HISTORICAL | {
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e1AaFD6awZRPUTUtCwak7ckJUepvB1nx | a5be3e | {
"description": "hating my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for hating my birthday | First off sorry. This is my first post and I'm on mobile.
Anyways, for as long as I (M20) can remember I have hated my birthday. I dont know what it is exactly but I'm pretty reserved and dont like attention so I'm sure that's most of it. Every year I ask my family if we can do nothing for it, and every year I am told to stop "being difficult" and then they do what they want.
This year my parents are semi-recently divorced (couple of months) and now it's just my mother getting on me about it. I've been a little nicer about it this year because she has been feeling down but I am still asking that nothing be done. I'd still go home to see everyone but I just dont want anything else to be done.
I live in a different state as the rest of my family so I don't physically see my family a lot so all of the background I had to hear from my brothers. And now I've been getting texts/calls about how im an asshole for continuing my "shtick" about not doing anything for my birthday.
Obviously I feel for both of my parents right now and I can see why my brothers have been angry, But am I really an asshole for this? | HISTORICAL | {
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qWSbGh8UPnyvisHlf1cvIWs6hNS0tixL | b13bgp | {
"description": "insisting on no smuggled-in booze at my birthday venue",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for insisting on no smuggled-in booze at my birthday venue? | Long-time reader, first-time poster.
​
I'm turning 30 in May. Frankly, I'm blessed to have grown up with the family and support system that I have. It has enabled me to do fairly well for myself and to afford some luxuries.
​
Being as I'm leaving my 20's (and since I love celebrating my birthday), I decided to do something special to celebrate. I rented a boat for me and 60 of my friends and family to go cruising around a large lake and harbourfront on a Saturday night. I'm paying for the boat and for all 60 of my guests. There will be a DJ, served appetizers and birthday cake (as well as unlimited, free non-alcoholic drinks). As for alcoholic drinks, there will be a cash bar on board.
​
My intention in outlining all of this is not to aggrandize myself, but to provide context. The contract that I signed with the boat owners/operators stipulates that the vessel is licensed under applicable liquor laws and that no outside alcohol is allowed aboard. I've mentioned this a few times to my guests through invitations and in conversations. Frankly, I'm concerned about liability or contract violation if my guests bring alcohol aboard, drink it, get hammered and then end up getting hurt or breaking something. Accordingly, I've asked that people refrain from bringing outside booze aboard and instead make use of the cash bar or pre-drink before they board.
​
Some of my friends have expressed (both jokingly and unjokingly) that they intend to bring their own alcohol, anyway. As yet, I haven't really gotten confrontational - I've just politely maintained that they should not do so and that there are other options available. Still others have said that I should turn a blind eye to anyone who does express such an intention and that I've done my part in stating that outside alcohol is not allowed. In their opinion, I needn't worry myself about enforcement. Some of my friends/guests are life-time grad students with little to no disposable income, which I suppose is worthy of mention.
​
Am I the asshole for insisting on no outside alcohol? I don't want people to feel that they can't have a good time or drink - I just don't wish to attract needless liability or risk by violating an agreement or to invite greater possibility for injury or damage. As well, I confess that I'm also a bit annoyed that, even after I foot the bill for nearly everything, some people are still trying to get something for nothing. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 11,
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} | RIGHT |
MwW9gSMI07txxaly8ItkR74KKzOXxlst | alhhwm | {
"description": "being pissed off with my boss for going back on a promise",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed off with my boss for going back on a promise? | So my job has a rotating day off with every Sunday off too. So it will go Monday one week then Tues then wed ect. I was given a rotate by my boss as she said it was fair and the right thing to do. So I arranged to visit my mum on my long weekend (sat, sun, Mon) as she lives quite far away. I went into work after a long weekend to find she's changed my days off. Now as I'm annual leave cover I have to take the day off of the person I'm covering. I've worked out because people book Thier leave around Thier weekends that I now won't get a long weekend again until march.. 2020! I asked her what happened to the promise she made me and she flipped (she gets seriously angry often and will shout and swear) she told me to deal with it as that's the job I have. I get that my job says that's what should happen but I've booked train tickets for the next 2 long weekends and she won't let me have them. I'm fuming but someone commented that Im being the asshole when I pushed her to let me have those two weekends off... So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 4,
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2y5atM6JUV02cZNCbgTPa3JHzoRK87EI | aswehu | {
"description": "not talking to my ex anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not talking to my ex anymore? | My ex (let's call him E) and I had been together for a few years and were friends before that. We ended up calling it off because of some family differences but were still kinda close.
He texted me a few days back saying his family is setting him up with a girl suitable so for him (some people have arranged marriages here) and he will get engaged soon. I got really upset and I told him I wont be talking to him anymore. I know its not my place to say anything against it, and I wish him all the best, but I can't be around him while he's engaged to someone else. Its very uncomfortable knowing the other person knows our history too.
Out mutual friends think i was too harsh and that I shouldn't have asked him to not talk to me, since we have overlapping friend circles.
I don't want anyone else to change their relation with him at all, but I don't want to be around him either.
Was I wrong to do that? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
0lVOVuSwyXqsLHCT9qPgasxYm6ge8bf2 | aiwzu4 | {
"description": "not wanting to break the lease as soon as we move in",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to break the lease as soon as we move in? | My wife and I are getting ready to move into a new rental house. We had discussed changing the locks on the new place when we move in just in case the previous tenants decided to make copies of the keys. Today my wife explains to me that he actual intention is to change the locks on the new rental and make it so the Landlord cannot enter without us present. I decided to go browse the lease to see if it says anything about changing the locks and its specifically states that in order to do so we require written permission from the owner and must provide them with a copy of the key. Upon bringing this to my wife's attention she blows up, starts calling me an asshole and telling me I'm not on her side etc. AITA for not wanting to break the lease as soon as we move in? I am all for changing the locks if the landlord approves but I don't want to cause issues that would possibly get us evicted. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
FZxgc7xK3O2rE6nWZZJmLYyFLDoRtg5X | b54ygr | {
"description": "backing out of meeting an online friend after years of talking about meeting up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for backing out of meeting an online friend after years of talking about meeting up? | I started talking to someone online in high school. He lives on the opposite side of the country. He’s become like my best friend. We talk everyday and have both helped each other through some tough times.
We’ve always talked about meeting. I thought that’s what I wanted. In the abstract “some day” it was always fun to talk and daydream about. Now though he’s trying to set a specific date and arrange plans and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m not ready to meet him. I feel like total shit about it, I always thought I really did want to meet him, these feelings are a surprise to me. I told him that things are really crazy right now and not to make any plans yet. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
6nrj9GLrK13zjFu0EKkePpa2FpgKGIqO | 9yo184 | {
"description": "not remembering plans with my mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not remembering plans with my mother? | Long time lurker, first time poster, on mobile, etc.
So background, I work at a car dealership about 45 minutes from my house (on a good drive). As a recent college graduate, I still live with my parents. Tonight, my step-father and his kids are out of town for a ski trip, so it's just me and my mom. She's been a bit off recently, having trouble with her memory and getting more clumsy. Onto the event.
I usually get off work at around 5, but I had some things to finish up so I didn't leave work until 6. I drive straight through the heart of a fairly large city on my commute, so if there's traffic it can take me up to an hour and a half to get home. I got lucky, and arrived home around 7.
My mom seems frustrated about something and is being generally passive aggressive, so I asked her what was wrong. She asked me why I was home so late, and the following conversation ensued;
Me: I stayed to finish up a couple things at work, why?
Mom: What, you just stay up there and drink and smoke pot with your friends?
Me: No... what are you talking about?
Mom: We had plans tonight? (At this point she's near tears) We were going to go to dinner and decorate the Christmas tree??
Me: Wait, what? When did we make these plans?
She then gave me the "I don't want to talk to you right now" hand that only moms can perfect. She insists we had plans but I genuinely do NOT remember making them. I apologized and explained this, but she seems to think I did this on purpose, and refuses to accept my apology. I also offered to hang out and watch movies or something to try and spend some time with her. Am I the asshole for being a bit annoyed at her attitude about it?
TL;DR I don't remember making plans with my mom and she is now so angry over it that she wont speak to me. | HISTORICAL | {
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wBLxhRi95klYBzTXgIiQ9BQvnT9WHRKQ | a0i569 | {
"description": "hanging out with a friend I had sex with once",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for hanging out with a friend I had sex with once? | For some context, me (24M) and my girlfriend(22F) have been together for 5 years and we just moved together this year.
TLDR at the bottom.
Summer 2017 we had some issues because she wanted to finish school at her hometown and I wasn’t feeling a long distance relationship so we decided to break up, she moved and I stayed in the house we rented, it was really my decision all tough she understood my case. It wasn’t easy on me because I still loved her but I have been on long distance before and I did not wanted to again. I was sure of it.
Move forward something of a month and I met someone (lets call her Isa), we were hanging out a lot and becoming really food friends, we met in some weird circumstances, we were both given the opportunity to move to the same place, all paid for 6 months to work on the same project and we took it. Knowing this we hang out even more and at some point Isa told me she liked me but she had a boyfriend, they were having issues and were about to break up as well because she was moving out. We did nothing more than go out and a few kisses here and there up until she broke up with him and we had sex. That was really it, after that I realised I still had feelings for my ex, I talked to Isa about it she understand and we remained really good friends, that was the end of it.
While all of this was happening we were also doing paperwork to move to the new place, it was really an exciting new work opportunity, great company, amazing new salary but then…I was denied the work visa, she wasn’t. Isa ended up moving around November and as I said before we remained good friends.
When I did’t got my visa I saw the positive side that it was new chance to reconnect with my ex and I had all this new found feelings, everything happens for a reason kind of thing, we re-connected I told her about Isa because I wanted to be fully honest, I explained we remained friends and is not something that was really negotiable as it was that, a friend. Anyhow we started dating again, it was only long distance for around 5 months as she told me she regretted leaving and wanted to come back but had to finish school. They weren't really easy 5 months...
Moving forward a bit more Isa came back around June this year, of course we kept talking all the time she was away “How are you doing?” “How is life?” etc etc. When she came back it was really cool we were hanging out with the same group of friends and doing bunch of stuff, on the summer the group took a trip together and it was awesome. Isa has become a really good friend over this year and there is no intention of anything from any party as we HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT, but now, my GF hates her.
I have tried to talk to her rationally, telling her its just a friend and yes we had a history a year ago, a year ago! and without that history honestly I wouldn’t even be back with my girlfriend today… and still today, that we live together once again, I get shit over it “why are you taking to her?” “is she gonna be around all the time?”, I feel like I had a choice to NOT go back to my girlfriend and have a long distance with her for a while, still I did because I know what I want and it worked out perfectly but this is not enough argument for her. She thinks I lament not getting my visa and moving with Isa, which yes is something I do feel sad that it didn’t happen but because of the chance to move to a different country and have some new experiences, it was only bound to be 6 months and I would eventually come back. I feel happy with how my life worked after this and I regret nothing.
I met Isa when me and my GF weren’t together and I feel she is the one making all of this weird, I understand the jealousy and I would behave similarly if there was a guy hitting on my GF and they had something, but this is not the case and it never was. Isa even returned to her ex as well because she felt the same way…
AITA for wanting to keep a friend that has become special to me in my life?
TLDR: I met someone when me and my GF weren’t together, we connected and became good friends, had a fling but it didn’t work out, we talked about it and remained as friends even after we both were in relationships again, now my GF gives me shit over it.
Also yes, I created the account to ask this because I would like some opinions on this. | HISTORICAL | {
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WgUKCZ9Nd4Yt82pysNEGpWMtnkeGCSfs | b69acz | {
"description": "sticking up for my so and making his mom cry",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for sticking up for my SO and making his mom cry? | AITA for sticking up for my SO and making his mother cry?
SO and I are in our early 30's. Recently he has been struggling with anxiety/depression. He experiences a lot of guilt as a part of this. As a result, he has mostly stopped communicating with his family because they push him to talk about things that make him anxious and will guilt him for not calling. Its not like he's cut them out of his life, he just puts off communication until he feels ready for it, which admittedly can last a really long time.
MIL eventually got fed up and decided to come for an unexpected 4 day visit. This upset me because it felt like an ambush and ultimately made SO feel worse. I try to be understanding as I know she is just worried about him, but she could have at least asked when would be a good time to visit (to me, if he isnt responding) rather than just urgently coming. The context of this visit really made him feel very out of control and embarrassed so he decided to talk to her and tell her that this trip was a violation of his privacy and wasn't ok to do. MIL claimed she had no choice, he wasn't talking to her so she had to come. Privately I felt it was very selfish of her, she came to ease her own anxieties without considering how it might make him feel.
At the end of an awkward trip, I snapped. MIL was getting ready to leave, reiterating to SO that he needs to call more and laying the guilt on heavily. She was telling him how hurt his father is that he wont call, asking if he was mad at his father?, and explaining how his father thinks he is going to die soon (he's not, but is a heavy smoker and is anticipating getting a cancer diagnosis despite not having any issues currently) and he will die thinking his son doesn't love him.
​
I snapped, "I'm not sure guilt is the right approach here,"
MIL: "well then what is?"
Me: "Patience and understanding... he's an adult" and then I left the room.
​
I definitely said it in a frustrated way. Up until this point I had tried really hard to be smiley + friendly, so I think that my outburst hit extra hard. Then MIL left for the airport crying.
I tried reaching out to SO's sister and we had a really heated conversation in which she told me plainly that he needs to call his family. I don't disagree, but I suggested that they be understanding of what he's experiencing and allow him some space. She said his behavior indicates that either he's really rude or something is seriously wrong and when tried explaining, he doesn't want to call because his family just makes him feel bad by guilting him, she told me she was too frustrated to talk to me and hung up.
It sounds like nobody wants to hear how to help support him, they just expect him to change and I dont think thats a fair ask so I'm the villain. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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ESFhcXrWqQPDnA9U5lJWkPIe4BLOQv4H | b8twt0 | {
"description": "not telling my mother a joke",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not telling my mother a joke? | This story happened years ago, around when I was 17, but unfortunately is still in the back of my mind to this day.
a bit of background info. At the time I was, still am, a card (magic the gathering)/ comic nerd, though thankfully I have taken up working out as well. I was living with my mom and younger sister at the time this event occurred. Lastly my parents are divorced, and when I turned 16 my dad bought me a card, nothing fancy, just an old beat up ford truck from the 90's, but she was mine and fully in my name.
whenever I wasn't at home I was usually hungout with my older cousin who played cards with me, or at my local game store (LGS) playing cards, cause when you play cards who has money for drugs? Anyway at the LGS we had a lot of inside jokes, much like any other place where a select group of people my frequently gather. My mother was not one of these people, she never came into the shop to talk to people or anything, in fact she made fun of my friends frequently through-out my time there. So one day she decided that she wants to go to the mall with my sister and I. Also I had to drive us there cause her car was low on gas. I'm not one for the mall because my mother will take forever, but whatever. We all get in my truck and start to head towards the mall. not 5 minutes into the trip a random inside joke from the LGS just pops into my head and I start to laugh. my mom who was in the passenger seat looks at me asks "what's so funny". I didn't really wanna explain it as it was a joke you had to be there for so I simply told her "I don't think you will get it, its an inside joke." she looks at my and goes "ok..... pull over." I pull over to the side of the road thinking she left something at the house. she then looks my dead in the eyes and tells me to "get out" I was a bit dumbfounded at the time, but I thought maybe she just wants to drive, so my dumbass gets out onto the road, leaving the key in the car, and starts to walk around to the passenger side. before I can get to the door, my mom is already in the driver's side. she turns the car on and proceeds to drive off leaving me on the side of the road. I then had to break into my own house, because she took my house key too as it was on my car key ring. I called my cousin to see where he was at, gathered my things and walk to my LGS where my cousin was so I can at least be with someone for the rest of the day. My mom stole my car, locked me out of the house, and left me on the side of the road.... all because I wouldn't tell her a joke she wouldn't get.
Years later this indecent is still on my mind. So I ask you all AITA here? If nothing else maybe this will give me some peace of mind to hear other's opinions on this | HISTORICAL | {
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hkefeAetjWUjc8BkrBb6tMMpcLCqA8SN | apafxz | {
"description": "not being excited for a surprise birthday weekend-long adventure (turning 16) with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not being excited for a surprise birthday weekend-long adventure (turning 16) with my mom?? | PLEASE READ ALL THIS SHIT BEFORE CONCLUDING.
context: this has been the worst year of my life (school year) and between experiencing sexual violence, loss, poverty, depression and the worst anxiety ever I have felt unworthy of love, friends and a birthday. I found out an artist I really like is performing 2 days after my bday, and got my excitement back up, I also found a redeemable ticket for six at a local bowling alley, and a dance workshop I have been eager to attend is happening this weekend.
So my mother is easily one of the most thoughtful people ever. when I found out I couldn’t go to the first concert (that she approved of and even unnecessarily offered to pay for) that i’ve been to since seeing the cheetah girls when I was a toddler, I handled the situation poorly.
I was also planning to attend a free dance workshop that I had been looking forward to since the last.
My mother has informed me several times that I cannot do or plan anything from Friday to Monday because of this surprise she has in store for my birthday. All i know about it is that it’s gonna be me and her somewhere away from home.
I am sure it will be great, but WHY MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND‽ when I lost it, my mom said that she’s not gonna be able to do any of this in a few years since i’ll move away, and that she had no way of knowing I’d have plans on the weekend when she planned this, but I’m turning 16, what 16 y/o wants to go away w their mom for their birthday weekend, as my bday is on Wednesday. It’s not like it’s a 2 day thing, either, it’s from Friday to Monday.
I think it’s sweet but inconsiderate, don’t treat me how you wanna be treated, treat me how I WANNA BE TREATED, she knows surprises that I’m aware of but unaware of what they are, is my biggest pet peeve, I just don’t know how she expected this risk of a plan to be worth it??
I am gonna go, I asked if she could postpone or cancel it, and she said no, but then after arguing and her calling me an ungrateful brat, which I can see, but is not who I am, she said she’d just cancel the whole thing and just lose the money. I feel extremely guilty and honestly don’t want that; I just want a middle. a happy mf middle.
I wish she didn’t see me as ungrateful, but I wish she at least acknowledged my perspective, and the fact that a risk like that is not usually gonna blow over well w a fifteen y/o girl?? i’m trying to be a good sport, but after you decide AITA, lmk what I should do.
| HISTORICAL | {
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rnLgp3j1BzgwOyuhkL2nrEvyAXBA4LH4 | a9udb6 | {
"description": "thinking that taking emotional care of my depressed husband is going the extra mile",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking that taking emotional care of my depressed husband is going the extra mile? | My severely depressed husband told me that I never put him first. I told him that being emotionally supportive (and financially, since he can only hold a part time job) demonstrates my love for him. He has depressive episodes pretty much daily, usually lasting hours, during which I hold him, kiss him, make him food, and do my best to be supportive (e.g. telling him that a part time job is better than no job, and that I am proud of him). Depressed as he is, he tells me that I do not make him happy, that he hates his job, life, etc. I should mention that my husband goes to therapy regularly and takes his meds, but nothing seems to work enough to pull him up.
For me, it is so much work to remain positive and caring and supportive when depression takes over. It takes a lot of energy just to have the same conversations, day after day, about how hopeless everything is, how life is not worth living, etc. It takes a lot of energy to hear "I am not happy with you," and stay strong because you know that's depression talking. Everyday, I see myself putting aside what I would like to be doing with my evening to take care of him. When I confronted with this, his response was that I knew what I was getting into, that emotional support is a core feature of a marriage, and that it does not count as putting him first.
So, am I the asshole for thinking that taking care of my depressed husband is going the extra mile?
| HISTORICAL | {
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ruCWudKWhJ5k13JH89sHWNWJzwXic7Gb | aesikf | {
"description": "telling employees off for doing make up in the toilet",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling employees off for doing make up in the toilet. | I made a shit post about this in the past thinking it would sort it self out but it actually hasn't. For information these toilets only have one toilet in them so I can understand if the female is already being used. They go in there when the female isn't in use so other girls can go to the toilet.
I work in an office with one other guy and six girls. I've had this problem since working here that the girls do there make up in the males toilet every morning. The first time it happened I was ok and told them to stop it but this morning I stood by the water machine to wait for them. When one of the girls was heading into the male toilet to do her make-up I got up from my desk followed her and said 'What do you think you're doing'. She tried to get out of the situation but I proceeded to not just tell her but all the females in the office that it is a male toilet and not a female and how would they feel if I went into the female toilet to shave every morning. After this charade I have been given the deadliest of evils from all these girls for the past week.
Was it really ass-holey of me to block the girl and tell them off about going into the male toilet. | HISTORICAL | {
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bSSWnnOXIzKf52gHs2689Wvp6nVWwbbg | b9xfu1 | {
"description": "not helping a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not helping a classmate? | Okay so here it goes. This girl befriends people who may be useful to her in the future in general. Not only that she won’t ever help anyone, she talks highly of herself to everyone around her but yet still pretends to be nice. So it is not possible for others to address her arrogant behaviour.
I feel like she only talks to me because I would be useful to her. Having been used by such people in the past, now I’m following a social policy in which I only help people who I’m sure would return the favour.
Last night, she sent me a message wanting my help for a project and I still haven’t replied. I don’t know if I am wrong for not helping her and to be honest I want her to learn a lesson.
Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, English isn’t my mother language. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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SPgT0yDtpqJ63PxIXuCNumMKmnIG45Bz | b8wv1c | {
"description": "not wanting to spend 2 nights at a hotel with my parents because I would have to share a room with them",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for not wanting to spend 2 nights at a hotel with my parents because I would have to share a room with them? | I'm 14f and me and my brother (17) are just about to finish our first term back at school. My brother is in year 12 and has been working super hard in school this whole time and wants to have a party with a few friends when the term ends at our place.
My parents are totally fine with it but insist that I spend the Friday and Saturday with them in a hotel to "give him some space" which I was cool with until my mum showed me the place we were going to be staying at and I noticed there was only one bedroom. She said that two rooms were too expensive and then proceeded to gush about all the fancy, expensive stuff the hotel had to offer.
Now I don't mind spending time with my parents, but I'm 14 and the thought of it just made me super uncomfortable. Also my dad snores REALLY loudly and I'm a light sleeper. So I told my mum that I really wouldn't be comfortable doing that and if there were any cheaper options. She told me that it wasn't for that long and I could just wear earplugs. When I insisted, she got angry and called me "ungrateful" and "petty" and stormed out.
I tried talking to her but she's been giving the cold shoulder (this always happens after we have a disagreement) and I really don't know how to go about this. Am I being petty??
(PS I'm writing this on mobile so sorry if the format's a bit weird) | HISTORICAL | {
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KngoR3hbHTEIb2RBCXTuUCL4R32CRWRI | axo27y | {
"description": "not talking to someone I used to be best friends with ever again",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not talking to someone I used to be best friends with ever again? | I used to be best friends with a girl (let’s call her Bailey) up until recently. We had been best friends since 6th grade but we were friends before that in elementary school. Over the course of those years she became pretty much family to not only me but my parents as well going to family vacations with us and vice versa. Everything began to change when she started dating a boy who she had been slightly interested in on and off that also happened to be her neighbor. She has been with him for about three years now and has basically pushed our friendship to the side. Bailey has consistently blamed my other friend and I for leaving her and making other friends when she left us for a boyfriend. BUT it gets better. I didn’t permanently cut off ties with her till recently when she began cheating on her boyfriend with multiple guys and telling her boyfriend she needed a “break” and telling my friend and I thinking we weren’t going to be honest with her and tell her how it is. Despite my feelings towards her cheating i still tried to guide her through the right decisions and although I truly don’t like her boyfriend (he doesn’t talk to any of her friends and comes off very rude and antisocial) I still didn’t believe what she did was morally right. When I saw she was not going to be honest with her boyfriend and that she was going to go crawling back to him after what she had done I fell back a little. Through out our whole friendship I as well as my other friend also dealt with a lot of judgement from Baileys parents for things such as smoking weed and how my parents have raised me. I hadn’t talked to her in a couple weeks when I saw her and her boyfriend were back together for good and she texted me asking me about something she heard I was saying about her like we are 15 years old and still in high school and I didn’t even answer I just blocked her. I’m just wondering if i’m an asshole for moving on with my life and “leaving her behind” like she makes it seem like i did. | HISTORICAL | {
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5iroZhYCfyQoZP6mBuCSqVeJEDJpd3Gb | aqhyad | {
"description": "being pissed at my loud, troubled neighbour",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed at my loud, troubled neighbour? | I live on a first year residence at university, a place where a lot of people are away from home for the first time. My neighbour has some strife with his family (or something like that) which tends to manifest as very outside-voice phone calls at midnight, oftentimes to the point of screaming.
It is unclear if this is in direct violation of our "quiet hours" however my floor RA admits it is an issue. Like me, he empathises with my neighbour's situation.
That being said, I am writing this awake at 12:30 AM for the second goddamn fucking time since Monday.
Am I the asshole for being angry at the dude? Is there a limit of these lovely midnight surprises before I am not? | HISTORICAL | {
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vb3Fkxa4bNdO3v3OeDhNw7dlMc1xIFGi | ad0qod | {
"description": "getting a guy and his two kids kicked out of the dog park",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for getting a guy and his two kids kicked out of the dog park? | It's a long story so I'll give both versions.
Also warning my sense of humar can be gross so dog poop is mentioned in detail.
Short version - A guy brought his twin toddlers to the dog park and was allowing them to call dogs over. His daughter calls my corgi and my corgi gives a little jump to lick her face. Her father notices the interaction and kicks my corgi and accuses her of attacking and mauling his daughter. Cops are called and realizing he's full of it escorts him and his children off premises for the day.
Long version - I took my two dogs (I'll call them the girls) to the dog park every other day until my eldest had knee surgery. So this story is a little dated but has been bothering me.
We always go to the small dog area first so the girls can blow off some steam. They chase and play with children and do little jumps for kisses - both of the girls are trained and gentle but get a bit excited with children and need reminders. They don't jump on them but if a child calls them at the dog park they'll go even if I recall them they tend to stick close so its normally not a problem.
On this day Freya, my Swedish Vallhund, had stopped to potty and I was picking that nice smelly bit (I remember it to this day) when I heard a little girl call Sophie (the corgi). I didn't think to much about it since I had the biggest pile of Vallhund poop I've ever seen. I turned to see a cute little girl hugging Sophie and giggling while she got a free bath and then I was shocked when her dad kick my dog hard enough to make her flay a few feet. He started scream at me about how I needed to control my dogs and he was calling the police. I almost laughed out loud when he went through with his threat and called 911 for a dog attack. I could see my two dogs playing fetch with his son while he lied to the operator about the incident.
About 5 minutes later a police unit and animal control get to us and ask where the injured child and dangerious animal are. The man raged about me and my girls while I calmed pointed to them, still playing fetch, with this guys kid. I'm pretty sure mental sighs happened between them as the started assessing the situation and after some taking the warned him and escorted him out of the park.
I've always felt bad because his kids went through that but at the same time I didnt start it.
Also no charges were filed by me but he still got animal cruelty put against him. My Corgi was unharmed and still itching to play.
Ps. I wrote this whole thing on my phone I'm sorry for any issues either grammatical or otherwise. Have a great day! | HISTORICAL | {
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pcRLt8v7hY62oHt5QeIiZ4kqWCZ4HaKW | 9x175w | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because of her mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for breaking up with my girlfriend because of her mental health issues? | To preface the situation, I love my girlfriend. Very much. We have been together for over a year, and that year has been one of the best years of my life. That being said, recently, there have been more and more issues with our relationship.
​
Our relationship started off on the wrong foot, as we started talking immediately after she got out of a bad relationship with her ex and had no time to process the breakup before we started dating. After that, the relationship was doing fine until we quasi-moved in together about eight months ago. I say it's only quasi-moving in because we both still have our own places, but we trade off where we stay every night or so. With this came all of the normal growing pains of moving in together. Getting a new live-in roommate is never easy, but we have handled that fairly gracefully.
​
Now to the heart of the issue. Approximately 6 months ago, her mental health issues started to show up/I started to notice them. She hasn't been diagnosed, but clearly shows signs of anxiety and depression. On multiple occasions, I have sat with her and tried to console her as she had a depressive episode, and have calmed her down during a panic attack. I truly have no problem doing this, but the frequency has begun to take a toll on me. I have tried to get her to attend counseling, which she tried. She only made it to two or three sessions before she decided that it "wasn't for her" and that she "didn't need it." Since then, her depression and anxiety has just gotten worse, and the episodes have gotten more frequent. Now, it seems like she is always mildly depressed, and is always gloomy. It has gotten to the point where she does not want to do things that she has to, like go to the store to get food because we are both out or get up off of the couch to turn the lights off. When I bring these up, she asks me to do them, always giving an excuse for why she can't do it. I try to be as understanding as I can, and help out, but like I said, I'm getting tired.
​
To add to this mess, she has major trust issues that are taking a toll on our relationship. The aforementioned ex cheated on her multiple times and now she has a problem trusting anyone. Not to help that issue, there has been one incident in our relationship that has stoked the fires or jealousy. I have an ex that was on-again off-again during high school that came to the same university as I did. We have not dated in almost four years, but have remained platonic friends. Early in our relationship, I went out to eat with a group of friends and my ex was there as well. Nothing happened, but my ex did give me a ride home. I admit, this was not the best decision in the scenario, and have admitted this to my girlfriend as well. My girlfriend was very hurt by this, and we have talked about it over and over. Always with me apologizing and admitting my actions were wrong. Since then, I have cut off all communication with my ex, but my girlfriend is still jealous, and constantly thinks I am talking to her, or some other girl. Trust is a major need for me in a relationship, and I don't know if I can keep this relationship alive without her trusting me 100%.
​
To summarize, my girlfriend and I are having issues getting along, and seem to be constantly fighting over little stuff. The core of the argument always comes down to either her being jealous of someone else, or me not loving her enough. I am always in the wrong, and there is always something wrong with what I am doing or how I am doing it. I have made mistakes in the past, but have apologized and changed my actions, but that has not changed her stance on the issues. I am tired of constantly fighting, and even though we have talked about it, nothing seems to ever be resolved because we just bring it up later in another fight. But, she loves me very much, and I believe she honestly wants the best for us, and would be absolutely devastated if we broke up.
​
WITBTA if I broke up with her because of the above issues? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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YwhcMT55boWAxi7GUvUKGOeNbL0O7gJi | a76lzh | {
"description": "getting into an argument with a guy and I feel like I got too aggressive",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | Aita I got into an argument with a guy and i feel like i got too aggressive. | https://www.reddit.com/r/Piracy/comments/a6v8vf/comment/ebyagk9?st=JPT41U83&sh=18b94926 | HISTORICAL | {
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AbyIzpZIG5Mhkvc1XNZA0GR5AdwDDYtn | b5v0tz | {
"description": "refusing to help my work colleagues anymore because of how cliquey they are",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing to help my work colleagues anymore because of how cliquey they are? | I'm 19 btw. I'm pretty used to being the outsider by now. I have autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) so it's normal for me. I think everyone in work likes me but it's very cliquey. Most of them are new but I've been in for months. They often go out without asking me though and kinda have cliques and inside jokes stuff like that. I used to break my back trying to help everyone while doing my own work but I've stopped now. If someone asks me a question and I don't know I won't go out of my way to find out. If i see someone still has work to do and I'm finished I don't help. If they ask for my help I'll give it but I don't offer it anymore. Am I the asshole for changing from being really helpful to not really caring? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
EFlttsI3XgmPWMV8SC71Y2b7FZcx5ihk | a550rd | {
"description": "refusing to tutor a 52 year old mathematics",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for refusing to tutor a 52 year old mathematics? | Hello Reddit! I wanted to keep it short, but silly old me just couldn't do that apparently.
Little background information: I am 18 years old. Since around a year and a half I've been tutoring both chemistry and mathematics to classmates/fellow students as a part time job. I live in the Netherlands where from the ages 12 - 18 (ish) you would do either a VMBO, HAVO or VWO course/program (to make it really simple, VMBO is considered 'the easiest' and VWO is considered 'the most difficult' when in actuality it's a little more complex that just 'easiest' and 'most difficult'). I got my HAVO diploma a year and a half ago, and I've been in the VWO program since then and my plan is to go to university afterwards. For my central exams on the HAVO for chemistry I got an 8.9/10 and for mathematics I got an 9.3/10, this is when I got inspired to help/tutor other people (I've done it before the exams but less thorough/during class).
Last july I signed myself up for a tutoring service, where both students and tutor can find eachother for a chosen subject they need help with. But since I signed myself up last july, I haven't gotten any students from them yet: no big deal, I suspect around may/april 2019 they'll come because the central exams are getting closer. I do still have students from my old school (where I am also listed as a tutor) and my mother is a teacher (music) and sometimes has students for me.
Now onto last week: I got an e-mail that in my area there was a new student available, I figured I'd check out what he needed help with (students need to list that to make sure the tutor can prepare accordingly). It stated that the student was a 52 year old man that was taking the HAVO central exam may of next year, and needed help working with the graphic calculator (the classic TI-84 from texas instruments) and general help with mathematics for around 4 hours/week. I immedeatly wanted to decline the student, because I really am not comfortable going to this man's house to tutor him, even though he really needs help with the calculator. I think it's really inspiring that even though he's 52 he's willing to take the central exam and get his HAVO diploma. I waited about a week and got another e-mail (these are automatically generated btw, he did not send me the e-mail directly) and instead of leaving it be, I clicked on the "permanently decline" button.
Mind you I've never seen this man/spoken to him in person, but the sheer fact he was 52 really caught me off guard and pushed me to say no to tutoring him.
​
So, am I the asshole for not wanting to tutor this man? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
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