id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
S5neuS1qmO3bqBStIhra7MbbWr6jmJKl | a0zewx | {
"description": "telling my dad he overreacted when he called the cops because I wasn't picking up my phone",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my dad he overreacted when he called the cops because I wasn’t picking up my phone | This happened this morning and my alarm on my phone wasn’t turned up enough and I slept through it and since my dad leaves before me I missed my first two classes which is when the school called my dad to see where I was, when he didn’t know he panicked and kept calling me but my phone was on silent so it didn’t wake me up, so he decides the right move is for him to call the cops to check on me. Eventually I woke to the cops at my door and I called my dad and he was crying because he thought I was dead or something. Eventually I told him it was extremely embarrassing and that he overreacted and should have just had my grandma come check on me, so AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
dJ5VCAYQm1zRM8iwyLyap6cdtbQoPPsK | ag5ydx | {
"description": "not wanting to recommend my autistic cousin for an art position at my work",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to recommend my autistic cousin for an art position at my work? | My cousin is a pretty talented artist, but he's also autistic. I work in the animation industry and his mom is pressuring me to give him a recommendation as a character artist.
Now, my cousin's autism is very high functioning. The only thing is he's incredibly emotionally sensitive, and the industry I work in is incredibly high pressure. When he's stressed, he shuts down and can't communicate what's wrong because he's too distraught. He also has mild paranoia issues where he thinks everyone is making fun of him, a symptom of his low self esteem.
On top of it all, he was partially raised in the United States and partially raised in an Asian country. He doesn't have a ton of social awareness and that can result in him being a little culturally insensitive. He casually asked the whole family "did God bless black people to be really talented because they used to be slaves."
He meant well, he is not racist. He just doesn't know any better and lacks the social skills to realize it. We had to gently tell him that's just not something you ask.
Regardless, his aunt is really getting on my case for not giving him recommendation, my family is sort of pressuring me too. They're guilt tripping me because I have such a cool job, and I'm not doing more to help the family. It's just... Itll be on me if he freaks out at work, or says something seemingly racist, because he's my cousin and I would have recommended him.
If I did recommend him, there is a high chance he wouldn't be hired, but he would be guaranteed an interview, and even that would be a lot of hassle.
I don't know. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
AsqG6HokT8eZJW3wzJ223vFDJo5hqVJT | aaxyqs | {
"description": "not speaking to my mother for 10 years",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not speaking to my mother for 10 years? | My mother has never been a huge part of my life. She was in and out as a kid and I was raised by my dad but I would spend summers with her as a kid and always stayed in some kind of contact when she wasn't on a bender. There have been a bunch of lies and situations of her stealing from people but what made me cut off communication with her was one major incident. My little brother joined the Army. She told me he had been deployed to Iraq and hit with an IED and was in a hospital in Germany. She needed 500 dollars to help cover expenses to go see him. I gladly gave it to her then didn't hear anything for almost a year. Finally my little sister got in contact with me through FB and informed me that my brother never even made it out of basic training and she used the money to move to Alaska. That really pissed me off and I have had zero contact with my mother since giving her the money. My fiance thinks I should contact her but I see no reason why I should.
TL;DR I haven't spoke to my mother in over 10 years because she lied to me about my brother almost dying so she could get 500 dollars from me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nBPvsmUJwkVSS579p1XADbb1BohCwZnR | alrgph | {
"description": "semi-ghosting a friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for semi-ghosting a friend? | This is long, sorry in advance.
So, I grew up with my friend M. We drifted apart as we aged, but reconnected about three years ago and got fairly close. For reference, she is 25 and I am 23.
Since we reconnected, she helped me through a bad breakup, only to throw it back in my face as "being annoying" and "being hung up about it" and "needing to get over it."
There have been a set group of topics of conversation for the past three years: how much M hates her job, how much she hates her body, how mad she is at her sex life with her boyfriend for not being great, and how mad she is that she's never been with a girl, the last of which was coupled by making weird drunken passes at me in the form of getting mad when I don't agree that I'd be DTF if she was single.
I tried to help her with her weight by inviting her to the gym with me and helping her construct a meal plan with healthy food (she and her boyfriend eat nothing but fast food) and by helping her with her portfolio so she can quit her job that she hates. She did it for a day, and then made it clear that she resents me for being in shape.
When my long-distance boyfriend moved to my town, she lectured me on making sure I still make her a priority even though my boyfriend would be in town. She made it clear that she expected me to still spend almost all of my free time with her.
She constantly makes our friendship sound like a trial run, like "I'm still waiting to make sure you're a good best friend" and I felt like I was auditioning for a role in her life from all the comments she made. If I ever did anything wrong in our friendship, she acted like we had to start from scratch and I had to re-prove myself to her, even if it was a small thing like not replying to a text immediately.
I worked with all of this, listened to her, made time to hang out with her, and tried as hard as I could to be a good friend.
Last August, I began graduate school. Needless to say, I'm insanely busy. I take classes and I work at my university, I basically live there at this point, so the only time I could spare was to hang out with M about once a month. I tried to get back to her and text her every other week at the minimum. In the meantime, I'm living in an apartment and paying bills for the first time, I'm in the first serious relationship I've ever been in, and I'm practically living at school, not to mention helping said boyfriend move and getting adjusted to grad school.
Over the holidays, I was spending time with my family when M called me and reamed me out for being a bad friend and not spending enough time with her (continued to do this even when I told her I was with family). I told her I barely had any time to even text boyfriend, and when I get home I just sleep if I'm not doing homework. She said "well it sounds like you're still texting boyfriend then. You're finding time for him." We had just hung out less than a month ago, and I tried to explain how busy I was and how time moved crazy quickly but she wouldn't hear it and just kept yelling at me for being such a bad friend and then said "we can talk about this more next time we hang out, but I need you to make me more of a priority."
I didn't talk to her for most of the rest of the holiday break, trying to figure out how to respond. I finally text her this: "I'm going to be honest with you. I feel extremely disrespected by our phone call and I've been taking time to figure out how to reply to you. I have been as good of a friend to you as I can. I'm not lying when I say I gave you all the time I could this past semester. I was in graduate school, adulting for the first time, paying bills, and navigating a long distance relationship. I did not have much time at all, but I still made you a priority and gave you as much time as I could. But honestly, I don't like reaching out to you any more because I know I'll get lectured about being a shitty friend, and I honestly don't deserve that. I've done the best I can with what time I have, and I feel like none of that has ever been good enough for you. I shouldn't have to prove myself to you over and over and over, and I don't deserve to keep getting reamed out for being a shitty friend. I really care about you, but if you can't take me at my word that I've done the best I can to make you a priority during this incredibly busy time of change in my life, then I just can't be the friend you want me to be. But I'm not going to let myself keep getting reamed out for something I don't deserve. I would love to still be friends, but I need you to meet me in the middle and try to give me the benefit of the doubt instead of just saying I'm a shitty friend all of the time, because I'm not."
We agreed to talk on the phone about it, but then Christmas and New Year's and all that happened, and now I'm back in school and we still haven't talked. I honestly don't want to reach out to her at all, and I feel no desire to fix this friendship because she has chewed me out multiple times for not giving her enough attention and I just feel like she doesn't understand where I'm at in life and doesn't respect me at all. I still care about her, but I just don't see it happening. But am I the asshole for not reaching out to her at this point? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KC1Hm7wRv9nFZLc3XUGdbRZ27fA5hRyy | b5d5ng | {
"description": "telling a woman to buy a car",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling a woman to buy a car? | I want to keep it kinda short, this happened today.
​
I was coming back from high school, I'm hoping into a bus, and today was a hot day. The T-shirt and shorts kind of day...
​
In these places we don't have AC in the bus so we usually open a window on hot days. But there is this woman which requested that the windows remain closed because she has a dental problem. (I don't know how that would affect a bad teeth, I didn't have one). So we close the window for a good portion of the trip. And it gets reaaaaly hot. People sweating all over and using news papers to cool down. At that point I have to do something so I just open the window again. Well, she gets mad, saying she has a bad teeth(side note: the bus wasn't going in the direction of a dentist cabinet, but in the residential area). Well, I just yelled: "get a car if you want AC". That's all, everyone agreed with me and she kept her mouth shut. After 1 minute she started mumbling and kept going for quite some time. One man closed the window and signed me something like: "let her, we can't fight her".
​
I told this story to a friend. He said I was rude and things like: "what if it were you?" I hate this kind of thinking cause everyone takes different decisions in situations like this, like...going to a doctor?
​
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
wsgZqrMUivHstMQ0zEpNWKcLrROix46G | b0wrf2 | {
"description": "snapping at my fiance's aunt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for snapping at my fiance's aunt? | Hello! I'm gonna try and keep this short.
I am a 20 year old full time college student. My fiance is 21 years old, works full time, and attends college part time. We live with his family (grandmother [70sF], bio mother(40sF), aunt(50sF), and uncle(??M)). Grandmother owns the house, and currently the entire family is trying to find a new place to live, and kick out the aunt and uncle. Just thought I'd let y'all know what her relationship is like with the rest of them.
Me and the fiance were trying to get our puppy to poop before we took her to her puppy class. Aunt is also trying to get one of the other older dogs to go to the bathroom. She spots a pizza box near the side of the backyard. (Note: me and fiance DID have pizza the other day, but we both put it straight into the trash bin, still no idea how it got there) Now, this was earlier today and I have a bad memory (multiple tbis that make being 'normal' difficult), so I'll try to be as neutral as possible, but here's the conversation:
A = Aunt R = Me F = Fiance
A: Why is there a pizza box out here?
F and R: No idea.
A: Well, whoever it belongs to needs to pick it up.
R: Okay. *starts walking over to it since I genuinly have no clue and don't really care*
A: I just can't keep up with everyone-
R: *interrupting* Okay. *immediatly walks back inside*
Not a great response, I know. But here is me and the aunts relationship. She has repeatedly stated that I "need to help more around the house", despite the fact that when I moved in, I was working full time and attending full time, and only quit my job due to multiple breakdowns and almost failing out of school. She has continued this, and I genuinley understand where she's coming from.
But, due to my tbis and possibly my PTSD, if you want/need me to do something, you have to write it down or I will completely forget about it. She has repeatedly not done this very simple request that both I and fiance asked. She has stated, to my fucking face, that I "can't pull the brain damage card" and tried to help 'fix' my mental health issues with supplements and, to be honest, incredibley condescending advice to exercise more.
Along with all that, she has tried to blame all the dirty dishes that get made on us, BEHIND OUR BACKS. We eat out 99% of the time, and the aunt and uncle are the ONLY people who cook consistently each night. There is honestly more, but the rest is more about her tone and general behavior towards everyone else who lives there (despite not paying rent, and being threatened with being kicked out before due to her behavior).
My fiance agrees with me that he does not appreciate how condescending and passive-aggresive she is, and when asked said that my response was totally appropriate.
But I'm still kinda feeling guilty about it, so lemme know reddit, AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
MurTe0sU61516XPRjXWpzG47hVFebZW7 | 9y9utl | {
"description": "leaving to go to the military without telling my parents",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I leave to go to the military without telling my parents? | My parents are Jehovah's Witnesses. As some of you know about Jehovah's Witnesses, [they have a strict war and military neutrality.](http://www.centeronconscience.org/component/content/article/49-words-publication/225-jehovahs-witnesses.html) The reason I want to go to the military, specifically the USMC, is because I don't like the type of person I am. I'm very introverted, have a low voice, very shy, etc. Also because I want to go to college without worrying about student debt. I don't want to tell them because they're assholes and I don't want them to freak out on me. I'm not going to tell them until I have a set date to when I get shipped out into camp. WIBTA for doing this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HrXvuISSYMI9S6q6KLynC22D3iGYgEWo | aykzvd | {
"description": "breaking up with my ex over the phone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for breaking up with my ex over the phone? | To preface, this is something I've been wanting to get off my chest for a while. I carry no emotional attachment whatsoever to my ex, I just simply feel bad.
​
A little bit of context: I met my ex in college about 3 years ago. We dated for just less than a year. We had a few fights, but for the most part it was fine. I felt myself falling out of love with her for a while. During the summer, she went back home after the semester. I got a job and met this other girl, who I just considered a work friend. A couple of months pass, I can tell I'm not being fair to my ex and I'm seeming distant, and she can tell too. This girl at work had been showing signs she was in to me, and aside from hanging out once I didn't act on them. But I couldn't change how I was feeling, and I didn't think it was fair to my ex to fake it for a couple of more months, so I called her and broke it off. It was really rough, for her at least. I feel really bad about it, but I was fine. I felt like I had already moved on emotionally. It was also her brother's birthday, which made things worse for her and her family I'm sure, but I just feel like I couldn't lie anymore. I didn't want to wait.
​
I ended up going out with the girl I met at work not long after, and we're very in love. We have been dating since. I did move very fast after. Sometimes I think about how I ended it with my ex though, and feel bad. I'm sure she has since moved on, as have I. Maybe it's just selfish of me to think about it and maybe I'm bothered with the image of myself being an asshole, rather than the actual thing I did... I'm not very sure. All I know is I feel bad about how I did it, but not sure what else I could have done. Maybe waited a day? Probably. But it's in the past now.
​
Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
rBEVSYz4u5pknApc0bHudXDAlUabVX8D | 9zpfh1 | {
"description": "not changing how I describe disabled people",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not changing how I describe disabled people | So context to the story is several college friends of mine were eating together and one, who is a special education major, was telling us how it was offensive to refer to an epileptic person as an "epileptic person" rather than a "person with epilepsy" as the former is defining a person by their disability. I didn't think the slight change in semantics was really much of a difference and felt like both phrases had just about the same connotation, neither of which was negative. I said both ways of describing someone with epilepsy were basically the same thing and I didn't think someone with epilepsy would really be offended by being called an epileptic person as long as it was relevant to the sentence. I didn't think much of what I said but she was extremely upset I disagreed with her and has been telling everyone we had a huge falling out. She didn't actually respond to what I said, and I didn't think anything of it until later when I found out she thought of it as a "huge falling out" so am I wrong to describe people with epilepsy as "epileptic people"? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
KQCagiTgXmpQrEs1DA6EGFL6QCXSXCQF | akwqqm | {
"description": "resenting my friend for not being as good as me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for resenting my friend for not being as good as me? | Title is a little harsh.
I have a close friend and roommate of 7 years (living together for 2). As time has gone on I've realized just how codependent they've become on me. They moved here under my suggestion from the west coast (we're in Atlanta) because they begged me for a change. I happily obliged and let them in my life. He's always been funny and I've loved our time together. However since he's moved here, he doesn't have a single friend outside of my friend group. I invite him to my family gatherings, even some of my dates with my girlfriend because after 2 years he doesn't know anyone besides me and people I've introduced him to.
This wouildn't be such a problem except it's become apparent he's jealous. I can't talk about my new relationship because he's "lonely" and doesn't "like to hear it." My girlfriend has been so sweet to him and cooks for him and tries to include him on dates I'd rather just be us.
He also took classes at the same university I did when he moved here in the same major. I've excelled in my field and I'm proud of mysef, but if someone asks us about it I feel like I have to downplay how good I am not to hurt his feelings.
And that's really how this starts. I have to downplay my relationship because he's single and mentioning someone wonderful my girlfriend did or how I think I'm falling in love makes him feel lonely. Playing my instruments well in front of others makes him upset. I feel like I have to talk about how "hard" our shared major is because he's worse at it than I am. Even the friends we've made here at the same time only text me and I'm closer too. I'm more outgoing and social than he is, so I feel like this is natural.
Am I the asshole for beginning to resent him? I feel myself making myself smaller to benefit him and now after 2 years I'm beginning to realize how I'm not becoming my best self. He's involved in literally everything I do since he moved here, and through my pushing has yet to seriously date someone, make his own friends, pick up his own hobby, or do anything that doesn't involve me. And since he's come I've become afraid to talk about my accomplishments to others (if he's standing there) or even practice what I'm already good at because he's spiteful. Am I delusional? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
NjR3LEmW0Zht2PMgNNrCbi0eDVNQCwEw | b3dbbe | {
"description": "refusing to share details of my life with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to share details of my life with my best friend? | I met this friend in uni about one year ago, we instantly hit it off and right now I consider her my closest friend and I often vent to her about things.
However she has the tendency to be a victim blamer. I tell her a guy was behaving in a creepy fashion, she blames me for “not defending myself enough” and even occasionally claims that I was asking for it.
She can also be very unkind to me and claim that “it’s true” and that makes it okay for her to say. I think the worst case of this ever happened after a relative died and I opened up about it only for her to tell me that I deserved to know what it feels like. She called me losing my cat “karma”. She also frequently goes on rants about the LGBT community and when I tell her it’s upsetting me and ask her to stop, she will not listen until I literally burst into tears.
I explained to her that just because something is true, doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to say and she apologised but I still worry that if I ever vent to her that she will just make things worse.
I work at a local Primary school and I am very careful about what information I share (half because I signed a contract saying I would respect confidentiality and half because I simply don’t like mixing my private life with my work life).
I mentioned to my friend that at work something happened that could have put the people in the school in serious danger and that I put my foot down and yelled at the man responsible after preventing him from doing what he was doing (I have extreme social anxiety and I was so proud of myself for standing up for myself).
She asked for more information and I told her I didn’t really want to go into further details (secretly because I was worried that she would downplay my accomplishment if I told her details) and was simply just proud of myself for putting my foot down.
She aggressively asked for details and asked why I wouldn’t share and I explained I didn’t want to go into detail and that I don’t have to have a conversation I don’t want to.
She implied I was a liar and continued to hound me. I responded that she could think that but I don’t want to continue on this subject.
She continued. When I told her to stop she blamed me for bringing it up.
I don’t know, I feel like I’m in the wrong for not expecting her to ask questions.
TL;DR : I have trust issues and don’t like sharing specifics with this friend, she doesn’t know respect that and I feel like I’m inviting this happen by continuing to be vague.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Z9J1IF80ZrOO2ror3HZj5M5A4xlglBEs | as4615 | {
"description": "going through TSA pre-check well my wife had to walk through the normal security",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for going through TSA pre-check well my wife had to walk through the normal security? | I invited my wife to attend a business conference in Las Vegas with me. As I travel pretty regularly for work I have TSA pre-so I don’t have to unpack my laptop, take off my shoes and do the whole TSA dance.
Wife does not have TSA pre-check and was mad that I wanted to go through TSA pre-and have her go through standard security.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
X4IvIrA4VYsPbvT2gisEKTNXWCfg8Fxv | 9u4p4a | {
"description": "calling in sick today",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For calling in sick today | I work at a vitamin shop where one person works the shift alone. I signed up for part time, 25 hours. In september a manager quit so my manager was put in charge of two stores. There are four of us working two stores 7 days a week so Ive been forced to do over 30 hours and have been doing 6 day work weeks with only one day off after. Th higher up management seems not to care and has not ben helpful in requesting help from he other stores. I am also recovering from a severe mental health breakdown from last year related to an assault and to my father disowning me after mom divorced him. I asked for part time to support my mental health. I also am training to be a instructor in pole dancing and have a live performance in less than a week I have to be ready for.
In october I got the flu and called out sick, but only took one day and was back to work the next which lead to 5 days later getting sick again and needing to call off.
Yesterday i had a nervous breakdown. crying fits every two hours, feeling faint and unfocused, wanting to tear my hair out. SO I called in sick and am now waiting at urgent care to get a doctors note. I feel bad that another employee may have to work extra hours, and I know that my manager is now stressed and angry with me, but I am super worried about my mental health and I still am having crying fits.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
00ADFDaw0PcplidmyFPqzZ77EyLhD0UI | 9vmxlw | {
"description": "being pissed that my boyfriend won't get a job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being pissed that my boyfriend won’t get a job? | My boyfriend [19] close to 20 and I [19] both come from different financial backgrounds. He has never had to work a day in his life and my parents had me get a job at age 15. We are in college and have been dating for 3 months but friends for 3 year before that. In those 3 months he hasn’t taken me on a single date. We have movie nights that I’d kinda count as a date because we’ve both been broke as hell but I am still paying for everything that him and I want to do and we had a talk recently about him looking for jobs so we can go out and not every little thing would have to come out of my pocket. But last night as we were going to bed he told me his dad said he shouldn’t get a job because they support him financially and he needs to focus of school. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT! But they won’t pay for our dates which is also more than fair, however this means that only I can take us out and only I can pay for us. I feel like an asshole but I financially support myself and have bills/loans/ insurance to pay. So it really stresses me out that if I want a night out then it will always be from my pocket. I fee like he shouldn’t have told me when I was half away and that he should’ve stood up to his dad about it. I’m at a loss as to what I should do and if I’m being the asshole for wanting him to get a job so he can also pay for dates. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
7d44WhXxynJM11uTO2DlUUzTyDm7MvKT | 9xt71z | {
"description": "handing out insanely sour candy to little children on Halloween",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 26
} | AITA for handing out insanely sour candy to little children on Halloween? | My mom thought I was a dick for doing it. She bought a bunch of reese's cups, and I wanted them for myself, so I handed out some old "toxic waste" super sour hard candies we had in the pantry. Does this make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 26
} | RIGHT |
JFMYbGrZE9NUij6LzgHI97z2SMFmmgHA | ajbub6 | {
"description": "telling my teacher a classmate cheated on a test",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 52
} | AITA for telling my teacher a classmate cheated on a test? | So we had a test today and as far as I know most of us including me studied really hard for this test. There was this classmate sitting in front of me and when I finished my test, I saw her looking at her phone and writing down answers. For me it was pretty obvious that she had the answers on her smartphone. After the test finished I went to my teacher after everyone was gone and said to her: "Mrs, this classmate cheated on the test". Of course my teacher didn't count her grade on the test.
AITA for snitching my classmate cheating on a test most of us studied really hard for? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 42,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 52
} | WRONG |
EA6NdAAEKZlswoh8EehJ9GxNwIj3lpOg | 9xrtv4 | {
"description": "telling my dad not to assume",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my dad not to assume? | So basically; this kid got expelled today at my school, and some rumors are going around that it’s drugs. I told my parents this on our way home from school, and about an hour later, on our wau to a film, my dad made a joke about drugs and I responded with another joke about drugs. He told me, “Oh you better not do drugs or you’ll end up getting expelled” (or something along those lines) and I told him not to joke about that, because I knew the kid and he was nice. He said that he wasn’t talking about that, and if the kid had an addiction he deserved to be expelled, so I told him he shouldn’t assume that the kid was addicted to anything. He then said that I was “being rude” and “using him as the family punching bag” and now we’re going home without going to the movies. Am I in the wrong here? I think he's the asshole for joking about the kid, he got arrested and stuff so I'm frustrated. Anyways, yeah, am I the asshole in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IUS7JWGopkllIwa8hI40dJsKJ3JpkYc4 | a9vae1 | {
"description": "wanting to peacefully put-down my 20 year old cat for the sake of my family",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for wanting to peacefully put-down my 20 year old cat for the sake of my family? | I will try to get to the point. Our cat recently began peeing outside it's litter box, smelling horrible despite bathing her, vet check up has been the same things - just 'elderness' which I get is obviously normal. She is deaf and I'm pretty sure she is now blind, and she howls and yelps in the mornings and late nights, keeping up my father/ mother and irritating them to the point of my father raging.
My GF and I have a 2 year old beagle that she keeps at her place but I care for it for a couple hours a day until she returns,and we do not live together at the moment until about another year. He is not an issue whatsoever, but having to come back to my parents house and be the one that actually has feelings and cares for the cat puts a stress on me because of the way she is treated there. My dad will kick, yell, start taking anger out on everyone else when she howls, and it is a pretty loud and crazy howl, And it has started taking a toll on him I can tell. He works early mornings in his at home office, so her howling is an issue for him, which I can get. Then she has started to keep us up all night and I am the only one who runs to her attention when everyone starts yelling about her meowing.
We are now in the process of moving new houses and they have kept her there until the moving process is done, but I don't even want to know how worse the situation is going to be. She smells horrible no matter what we do (sorry if that sounds mean, but it's just the truth), she's ill, she has become a burden to my other family members, and I feel like she's going to be treated even worse at our new place. It sucks because I know animals are a huge responsibility and I have done my absolute all for her throughout my life, but at this point I am a college student graduating in June, I work mainly full time, I care for my dog and am the main $ maker in my relationship helping my GF with finances as well, and coming home every single day to care for my family's cat has began to take a huge strain on myself and my family. I will be moving into my own place after graduation and I don't want to leave knowing my cat is in bad hands. My parents aren't bad people, they are just getting older and being home for most their time, they have to deal with this cat every single day and is putting a strain on them.
Yes, I know, "you're going to put the cat down because it's inconvenient now?" Comments may occur, but it is much more than that.
I'd rather her be put to sleep in peace and remembered for the amazing cat she was, than become even more abused and neglected at our new house.
Would I be the asshole if I put my cat down peacefully for the sake of my family? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
8DEg9KnJ7l6YNIEHTk1t0w1YhM3CIwX7 | b9y246 | {
"description": "asking for my money back",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I asked for my money back? | Account Owner: my friend is using my account being she doesn’t have reddit. She will answer comments.
Names changed for obvious reasons:
So my friend Pebble messaged asking to borrow £20 in mid February which she said she will give it back the next week, month later she still hadn’t returned it. It was okay I don’t actually need the money at the moment. I did sent a message on the 7th if march asking about the £20 she ignored this. Recently I went out with Pebble and she mentioned one of our friends that she also owes money too and said she would give it back if he doesn’t ask. Obviously this kind of made me think of the money she owed me so I messaged her today asking for it back she messaged me with a vaguely aggressive paragraph basically saying that I didn’t need the money and making me out to be rude for asking. She then uninvited me from her party tomorrow. I then tried to call her then but she didn’t answer.
I then sent a message to the group chat that say I wasn’t coming to the party anymore, obviously people asked why so I was up front and said I was uninvited. I then left the chat but have seen since that she called me selfish in the chat.
I then messaged our mutual friend who basically said she didn’t like the way I was treating Pebble early and called me pathetic.
I’ve ask some people and most have said that I’m not in the wrong. But they might be biased. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sFE0CdbvHk4AoxPQLGZDhP1rNxAU3mKR | arx3m3 | {
"description": "not wanting to live with a man with a 26 year old son",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA [F22] for not wanting to live with a man with a 26 year old son? | I live with two guys. One is 25 and the other is 21. The younger guy decided that he’s moving out early and is gonna break the lease, but the other roommate and I have to both sign off on him removing himself from the lease, and he has to find someone else to take over his section.
Yesterday he scheduled someone to come over and see the house. I made sure I would be home so I could meet him. I have two pets and wanted to make sure they would get along with the guy.
When the guy showed up though, I got a weird feeling in my gut. There was nothing really in particular, but if you’re a woman, you like know that gut feeling. The “this man makes me uncomfortable but I don’t know why” feeling. That’s what I got off of him. I keep going in and out of the kitchen because that’s where they are and I’m trying to monitor and the guy mentioned that his 26 year old son lives nearby. When I heard that I knew I didn’t wanna live with him. Had I known I would end up living with a 40+ year old man, I never would have signed the lease here. I feel like it might be hard to any guys reading to understand, but I’m hoping that any women reading this can get why I, a 22 year old gay woman, wouldn’t want to live with a man twice my age. I had friends over at the time, but after the guy left, I went to my bedroom and just laid down and cried for a bit. I just got a bad gut feeling and, as I told my friends later, am not sure that I would feel comfortable home alone with him. I also think I’m entitled to want to live with people somewhere in my age range.
I told my roommate that I’m not signing off on him living with us, but my roommate thinks I’m being unfair because he “works to pay the bills like any of us.” From his perspective, my roommate just wants to get out of the lease and it’s kind of an asshole move to hold him to the lease. However, my roommate isn’t the one that will be living with whoever he finds so I think it’s inconsiderate to not even try to consider what the house dynamics will be like after he leaves. I think my roommate also already told the other guy he could have the room if he passes the background check. If this person moves in then I’m going to probably try to move so I can live with people closer in age.
So anyway AITA for not wanting to live with him and not signing off on adding him to the lease? I feel like maybe I’m holding my roommate hostage, but I also feel like I’m entitled to comfort in my own home.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
CmZetsH70pUGnOqa50oyq6IRlVLO7oI3 | b2p1gm | {
"description": "not talking to my grandad before he passed away",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not talking to my grandad before he passed away? | When I was a baby, my dad passed away, and my grandad filled that place for most of my life. When I was 15, I was told that he had lung cancer, but he was fighting it. He also had dementia and he would forget a lot of things when I talked to him, ie, he’d repeat the same couple of stories every time I called him, but I didn’t mind and never told him.
I’d last seen him in person at my uncles wedding, as he married a horrible woman that had done horrible things to her children, so I never liked him. She also never liked that he spoilt me as he was spending money that I’m presuming she wanted to. He bought her expensive jewellery and everything else she wanted, so I never went round to the house to see them.
The last time I spoke to him, he told me the same stories and told me he was feeling okay and that he would last a while yet, so to not worry. I believed this, then when I said goodbye and went to hang up the phone, I heard him say to his wife “who was that?” It completely broke me as it was the first real time he had forgotten me, but it scared me and I put off calling him for a few weeks. Something told me I should call but I was in complete fear he’d forgotten me so just kept telling myself to do it in a few days.
About 7 weeks after I’d last phoned him, my auntie told me he’d passed away. I felt terrible that I hadn’t called and that the last words I heard him say were “who was that?” I’m 20 now and it haunts me to this day. I know I’m in the wrong for being selfish, but AITA for it?
TLDR: my grandad had cancer and dementia and forgot who I was, so I was scared to talk to him. He passed away before I got the chance to call him again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SSqQpwlgdCoHwJ9mLxrqETEeX6uCEdUI | ah298q | {
"description": "evicting my tenant when he complained about the noise my dog makes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for evicting my tenant when he complained about the noise my dog makes? | AITA for evicting my tenant for complaining about noise?
​
I live in a 10-unit building in Miami Beach. I love it here, and me and my family own the building jointly. I have a neighbor named "J." J has been our tenant for about 5 years. J looks EXACTLY like Clint Howard and lives in a studio with his girlfriend. My 2-2 is right next to his studio, and we share a wall. When I moved in, he complained on the very first day about the noise my dog made as it barked at people passing by our window. The first time he complained, he didn't even bother to introduce himself and talked directly to my perplexed mother (joint owner of the building) to complain about me. I was right next to him and he wouldn't even address my presence. He only started addressing me directly when I came around to collect his rent check for the first time.
Regardless of his manner, I thought it was a reasonable enough complaint, so I ordered window inserts to try and improve the sound proofing of the apartment (also was quite drafty due to jalousie windows). One month later he complained even more severely that the noise from my dog was beginning to become an intolerable nuisance. At this point, my dog had gotten used to the apartment and he only ever barked once every hour or so for about a minute whenever he heard a particularly loud motorcycle drive by or the Amazon guy knocking at my apartment. Getting a little annoyed this time, I tried to empathize with the man. So I try again to accommodate J.
I start locking my dog in the bedroom (which is on the opposite side of the apartment than J) if I know I am not going to be back before 8pm. I leave plenty of food, water, talk radio, and and open window for him. Well, today he just complained AGAIN that the dog was waking him up. The thing is, it was only 2pm when the dog "woke him up."
Apparently, J is demanding total silence at every hour of the day, not just at night. Generally, he has been pretty rude. But this last time he complained he was basically talking down to me. I went into his apartment myself (he invited me in to inspect the noise) and I was totally shocked. You can barely hear anything. The guy's bedroom is quieter than mine (my bedroom is on the corner of the building, his is in the middle: so I hear a shit-load more street noise than him).
He is insisting that I lock my dog in my bedroom whenever I leave the apartment, regardless of the time of day or even noise laws (that allow for my dog to legally bark as much as he wants between specific hours), and gave me an incredulous look when I told him that the dog had free range in there whenever it way daytime. I can't lie: that look pissed me off incredibly and its the last straw.
My options are to get a rice-paper door that separates my bedroom and office from my living room (giving the dog a little more space and it would only be a minimal cost), or just evict this guy. I'm actually leaning towards the latter because he's such a giant dickhead to me. Also, he's a tenant at-will, so I can evict him for literally any or no reason.
So what do you guys think: AITA for preparing to evict this guy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
j47BSFQEXk3pWKi5FNJwbYu91V4Drvke | apvg29 | {
"description": "calling my girlfriends friend when she was about to have 30th bday sex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for calling my girlfriends friend when she was about to have 30th bday sex | Will try keep this short n sweet while adding as much impartial details as possible. TL:DR at bottom
My girlfriend (30) and her childhood friend (both Irish) went on long weekend to Scotland to celebrate friends 30th bday (just the two of them) As you can imagine the weekend involved copious amounts of alcohol and I was updated of their activities via Snap/Insta/FB.
On the final night of the trip and her bday they had been drinking most of the day,went home to freshen up before going out in town for the night. They got the bus in and were obviously drunk in videos they sent me. Its midnight and I get a voice note on whatapp from GF, they are in a quite pub with only few people in it. Says the friend has pulled and is kissing a lad while my gf is talking to his father of all people (got sent a funny pic of father watch his son). GF wants to go home at this stage. Father leaves. GF sitting in quite pub with no one to talk to with friend happy out with new lad. GF befriends few American girls that enter pub. Get sent video of all of them in pub and friend in corner with guy.
2am and I get phone call from GF. Friend has left her in the pub, sent her a text that's she's on some street a ten minute walk away. Gf has no idea where she is, where they are staying (her fault for not paying attention, friend booked it) doesn't have a key either. I text friend asking why she abandoned her, what's the address. Said she was on her way back to Airbnb, that she wasn't drunk and gf wanted to stay with Americans and they agreed to go home separate while at the same time saying that she couldn't find gf to bring her home. Pub was tiny.
Gf in her drunken stupidity starts walking solo in no particular direction instead of trying to get a cab.( No Uber on her phone, streets super quite) Both girls say they have tried ringing each other without any luck so I'm middle man. Tell my now very upset and lost gf to give me the street names she sees and stay put. Send it to friend. Friend calls me screaming down the phone from an Uber that her friend wasn't her responsibility and that she had to pay for this Uber now etc. I stay calm and only respond by asking does cabbie know the street she's on. 3am they find her safe.
Get this text off friend 3:20am "
Ya know what? How fucking DARE ye both accuse me of abandoning her when me and her VERBALLY SAID FACE TO FACE. From here on what happens, ill leaves the keys in the vase outside the apartment and that be that. She fucked off with a bunch of randomers not me. I tried to figure out where she was when she disappeared, couldn’t find her. I am RAGING that on my birthday her boyfriend is ringing and texting me to see where she is when she wandered off. I’m NOBODY’S fucking keeper ESPECIALLY WHEN WE AGREED ILL DO THIS YOU DO THAT AND WE MEET AT HOME.
HOW VERY DARE YOU RING ME WORRYING ABOUT HER WHEN SHE PUT HERSELF INTO THAT SITUATION WILLINGLY. I DID MY BEST TO GET HER HOME BUT SHE FUCKED OFF HAMMERED AND YET I AM THE FUCKING VILLIAN.
not a fucking chance am I taking this easily don't reply I'm blocking ye both.
She blocked me in every way possible. Only way I got in contact with her was via revoult app when I sent her cash for the cab and thanking her for getting my gf home safe. Found out day after that lad she brought home was in cab and paid for it and she blames me for ruining her bday and shaming her for bringing guy home. I didn't care about that. All I cared about was my GFs safety
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cWmSEdUCj6dN5yx9l9m1c42jlVNTVPMa | anzurj | {
"description": "not wanting to give up my dog",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to give up my dog? | My dog is a lab and a very good dog, I love her and so does my wife and kids but she doesn't get a lot of attention.
My brother and his wife had a dog, also a lab that just recently died unexpectedly and they spoiled that dog like crazy because they considered it their child because they have no real children. Needless to say they were devastated, and about a week later my wife mentioned to my brother that he could have our dog (they have met our dog and love her) and he said absolutely they'd love to have her.
I was kind of shocked because she didn't talk to me about it first and i immediately said no i wanted to keep her and that was the end of that.
Now that i think about it, i know my dog would be happier there, and get a lot more attention and affection.
So i guess what im asking is, AITA for wanting to keep her? Or should i do what is in the best interest for my dog and give her better "parents"? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
qsGtUYpVF3SWPNfgenQXGEx9ndjqZvK0 | an1cbw | {
"description": "going to family gatherings because my husband's shitty dad",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For going to family gatherings because my husband's shitty dad. | I've been with my husband for three years now. When I first met his dad he immediately called me a spawn of satan and wanted my husband (boyfriend at the time) to leave me. For the first year of our relationship I had done everything to make him like me. Talk to him, give him a ride when his drunk ass needed beer, lend him money, use my SUV to pick up a TV he wanted, and many other things that made me super uncomfortable and was really nice to normal people.
Well not only was he attempting to convince my husband to leave me everytime he gets drunk, he talks shit behind my back calling me fat, ugly, a liar (no idea why), and a succubus.
He had then ruined my husbands credit by using his name for things then not paying for them. He ruins all of the peoples lives around him with his alcohol addiction and accusations. I really didn't need that in my life.
Well I stopped trying for his approval a while ago so I've been not wanting to attend my husbands family get togethers, because I dont want his dad doing his basic shit nor do I want to see him.
My husband doesn't want to go to his family get togethers without me so he is calling me controlling for not going because of my hatred for his dad.
Keep this in mind I am not telling him he can't go or he can't see him, I just want don't want be around him. Also, I can't just go, it is way too stressful on me and makes me have horrid anxiety. I have a bad eye twitch that happens when I get anxious and when his dad noticed it he made fun of me saying I "psycho" and needed the squad cars to take me in.
My husband says I'm the asshole for not going and tbh he makes me feel really bad about it so am I the asshole?
(Apologies this is my first long post) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6y0wL95IXy07u0yUVJB2m53xgT0GEQfN | 9vqw72 | {
"description": "not wanting my child baptized",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my child baptized? | Me and my wife have a baby who’s 6 weeks old. My mother in law brought up baptizing him. Now me and my wife don’t go to church. I am not religious I was very religious and went on mission trips and what not. Nowadays I don’t believe no dis to those who are. I asked my wife if she believes in heaven she said idk. Asked her is she believes there’s a god she said idk. She wants to have our son baptized but doesn’t know if she believes. If she said she does believe I would have said yes. AITA for not wanting our son baptized? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
V68IZyLjRqnFtjDlVrpurz6Uf2S9mFCA | ax35jp | {
"description": "not giving my mother my back pay",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not giving my mother my back pay | Going to try to condense this as much as possible. So I'll be leaving out a lot.
I've never had a great relationship with my mother, she belongs somewhere in r/entitledparents. But that's a story for another day.
Either way, my son is autistic. He'll be 6 this year. Back in Sept of 2016, I was struggling with my own mental illness, and I reached out for some help. Up to that point, I'd been using the ignore it and it'll go away method. It was not working. So after some fighting, my mom agreed to take care of my son for a few weeks, so I could figure shit out.
A few weeks went by, and *insert long list of reasons*, she pitched this idea to give her custody of him on paper. It was all about the money for her, I see that now. But at the time, I thought she was trying to help me.
Fast forward a few more weeks, and I was starting to do better. My son would spend weekends at my house, and weekdays at my moms house.
Then she stopped picking him up, weeks went by, medication not taken. I started to go back down, and in Aug I went to the psyc ward for 7 weeks to get help.
When I got out, she refused to let me see my son. Dec rolled around and I still hadn't seen him. I get a message from her saying that she had applied for disability for him, and it was approved with back pay. She asked me to check if I was getting it.
That's weird I thought, considering it was 13 months since I legally had him, and she did all the leg work. But I checked and sure enough, I was getting just shy of 4 grand.
We talked about it, and I was under the impression that it was all of the back pay, and I agreed to split it with her. Upon looking into it further later, I realized that the amount was wrong. She had given me the date from where the back pay started, as well as the monthly amount, and it was short. 13 months short.
Realizing what she did, I messaged her again. Knowing from her history that it was intentional, but not wanting to upset her, I said something to effect of "Oh hey, mines short, you should check your account, there should be another ~1700 dollars you're getting, isn't that great!".
Does she take the out? No, she doubles down. With the 'ol, yeah I knew that, but I deserve half of yours anyway.
I don't even know what to say, after everything, long list of things she's done/said over the last 4 years, and she somehow felt entitled to money that was by all right, mine. She said I was disrespectful and selfish for not giving it to her, and questioning her about it. And how dare I accuse her of lying, she never lied to me.
To make a long story short, I didn't give her the money. She tells friends and family that I abandoned my son, and I don't want him back, when she's refusing to let me see him because I wouldn't give her the money. Now I have to take my own mother to court, and with the court date looming, I've gotta know.. am I the asshole for not giving her that money?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Z237fyxxIe1YhP4UOBe46fCAn31DXjuj | b2g5kn | {
"description": "telling my housemate to clean",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my housemate to clean? | Hey so this is a quick one.
I sent this message to my roommate last Thursday:
“Hey next chance you get can you please vacuum/mop downstairs and do the bins/recycling”
And it is now Monday night. When I sent her the message she pretty much left for 3 days, coming back during the day a little bit to grab stuff, get more dog food etc.
She told me today that my message was rude and got really angry with me when I asked her again to clean up the floors sometime this week.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0bEurYPkVKbkRye8zQAqylH7f8MBUne4 | ba2ulk | {
"description": "not wanting to help my struggling ex and feeling satisfied that she is struggling",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to help my struggling ex and feeling satisfied that she is struggling? | I dated this girl for a few years in college, she was my first real serious girlfriend. We got along great, lived together, and even talked about getting married after we were able to get our respective careers established.
That is until my best friend confessed to me that he and my girlfriend had slept together while drunk and she was attempting to make it a fwb thing with him. I confronted her and she told me she loved me and did want to marry eventually but she wanted an open relationship until after college. I told her I didn't want that and that she should have gone about all of that in a different way and I moved out.
So in one fell swoop I lost a relationship with my girlfriend and my best friend and a place to live.
What followed was several years of poor decisions - drug use, promiscuity, generally abused my body. 22 y.o. me blamed my ex and ex best friend for my tailspin. After a few years of that I was able to recover and get back on the right track. I made myself take full credit for my poor life choices and forgave the people that hurt me. I still didn't have contact with them but I resolved the feelings of hatred I had for them and forgave them.
I don't use social media so I'm sort of insulated from knowing what goes on in the lives of the people I don't associate with regularly and I hadn't heard anything about my ex or ex best friend for many years and had honestly put them out of my mind.
All was well until I ran into a friend of mine from college and he told me my ex was struggling. She had recently been arrested for OUI (driving drunk) with her small children in the vehicle and she lost her professional license (she works in a medical field). She is having a really hard time, her marriage is on the rocks, and she basically lost her career.
For some reason being presented with this information has dredged up all sorts of feelings I thought I had dealt with and put behind me already.
1) AITA for feeling like this is karma and what she deserves. Obviously I did not and will not be making these feelings known to anyone but this is how I feel about it internally.
2) AITA for not helping her in some way. Without going into detail there are things I could do to help her pull herself out of this rut but I really don't feel like she deserves my assistance.
Really struggling with this and feeling pretty guilty as I've never wished ill on anyone before. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Z7GmdnZjTYUxYmuHsZmkiDAYSEtQjlXJ | av96wa | {
"description": "being resentful of the opportunities that my older siblings got that I was never given a chance at",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For being resentful of the opportunities that my older siblings got that I was never given a chance at. | Some back story to this. I have 2 older brothers that went across the country to work in Los Angeles at a 5 star hotel and spent there summers living it up in LA while I was stuck at home getting fat. My parents excuse was that I can’t handle the job or control myself there which I proved them wrong. I’ve held a job at a restaurant for 7 months now never having any issues with my co workers or with customers. Which was there main concern. I’ve brought it up to my parents that I want this more than anything and I still get it turned around and made to look like the asshole. Am I the asshole for asking for equal opportunities. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
8VZzNC9UFNUrAismXpI99gONK4CUcVSQ | an725o | {
"description": "outing my brother-in-law's felony during the wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for outing my brother-in-law's felony during the wedding? | Throwaway for obvious reasons. This happened over the weekend.
My step-sister got engaged to this dude about a year ago and most, if not all, of the family really does not like him, at least not personally. Most of the family understands that he pays the bills as best as he can, and provides for my step-sister and their two kids. He works full time doing manual labor, and does piecework on the weekends if he's able to.
I used to go with him when he found piecework, I was in college and sorely needed the extra cash. We eventually got somewhat close, and he started confessing things to me, crazy things that put him in an insanely different light.
He told me about his violent past and, most importantly, his felony kidnapping charge. The story, according to him, is that he broke into his ex-wife's apartment while she was nodding off on heroin, took his kid, and went on the run. He ended up doing a few years behind bars. He's told me about some pretty blatantly racist and violent stories, about mexicans on construction sites, african-americans while in prison, etc. He also told me that no one but my step-sister knows about these things.
Fast forward to Saturday night, during the wedding reception. All of us guys are drinking a bit, and the government shutdown gets brought up. To make a long story short, it ends up getting pretty heated between he, my step-dad, and I. Eventually, he ends up loudly saying something about how the influx of illegal immigrants directly fucks with his job prospects, and I respond with something along the lines of "no, mexicans aren't fucking you over, your felony is fucking you over." He kinda laughs it off and asks me what the fuck I'm talking about. So I begin to tell the table what he told me. The rest of what happened was a bit of a blur, considering how drunk I was.
Eventually, my step-sister left the wedding alone. I've tried talking to her, but she's ignoring me. The rest of the family is... I don't know. Most are staying quiet, but I've talked in depth to my brother and his fiance (who is hispanic) about it. He says that it was dumb to do it at the wedding, but he's pretty glad that I outed it to him and has said that he won't spend any time with him or our step-sister anymore. Haven't talked to anyone else yet. I'll probably text my mom today about it.
Anyway, yeah. I have no idea what to expect. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
J09wFgx5epHdDby8r70nicftzHXmKBJg | alw7kr | {
"description": "not doing the dishes as often if they aren't mine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not doing the dishes as often if they aren't mine? | TL:DR at bottom
I share my dorm apartment with another guy.
I feel morally obligated to deal with the stack of dishes that is on the kitchen counter, but they are not mine. Before I start eating my meal I will clean up and put away (either into the dishwasher or drying rack) the things I dirtied, such as the pot or pan, spatula, etc. After I am done eating I will clean the plate/bowl/cup/glass and put it into the dishwasher and then put the dry pot/pan back into the drawer. I do this because it becomes harder once the food sticks to the plate/bowl/etc, and it is faster to clean and put away 4 things instead of 20 things.
My roommate chooses to put whatever he has used into the sink/onto the countertop until he cleans them up at a later time. This often ends up with lots of dramatic sighs/huffs of annoyance from him, due to having to clean a large amount of kitchenware. I help out the odd time when it gets to be a large mess, it it is primarily him cleaning these large sink messes.
I do an objectively equal share of the emptying of recycling/garbage (I use less waste because I buy food in bulk and cook it), shoveling the sidewalk, buying necessities (detergent, toilet paper).
I am I the asshole here?
TL;DR - I do hare of chores except when it comes to dishes. I immediately put away my dishes while my roommate piles his up. Am I the asshole for not cleaning his pile up? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
R51hHEKJwpSwoxsslR8FHvsh2gvhaVSX | b5i2lj | {
"description": "not going to my boyfriend's sister's birthday dinner",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not going to my boyfriend’s sister’s birthday dinner? | My boyfriend’s older sister’s birthday is today and I didn’t go. This morning his sister let me know (my boyfriends owns the house, his sister rents from him) that she planned on going to an arcade/bar type of place and I said I might go.
I consider myself introverted and all day I was pretty much psyching myself up to go to this dark bar for a couple hours, play a couple games, and most likely sit and watch my boyfriend and his sister play against their younger brothers. Instead, 30 minutes before we were supposed to go, she texts us that the bar is closed on mondays and they’re heading to a restaurant instead.
I immediately said no. I was not expecting to have to sit down with people in a loud, bright restaurant with food I cannot eat because everything on the menu contains either cheese or meat. Not only that but the last time I went out to a birthday dinner with his family (boyfriends birthday), I spent the whole 4 hours being ignored. And when I say ignored I mean they specifically direct their conversations at certain people and the only person who spoke to me was their mother, who is not there tonight.
So AITA? I know sometimes I can be dramatic but I feel my reasoning is pretty solid. When my boyfriend called his sister to tell her his order because he was late she didn’t ask for mine either so I feel like I wasn’t expected to come anyways | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7gAxZ8Zez3vaItmKQAOu80bPnGHwI3wJ | b56wlp | {
"description": "telling my friend hes not ready for a baby",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend hes not ready for a baby | So I've known my buddy P the best part of 10 years . I watched him turn from a teenage apprentice to a head chef to business owner and back to sous chef after losing it all through stupid mistakes (drugs) hes now 26 this year , lives in a shithole home with his parents and 4 younger brothers (nothing wrong with the structure or the parents they just never clean up after themselves) he met a girl about 6 months ago and they are officially in a relationship. Hes changed (obviously) so now I don't see him as much and when I do it with his gf .. again not a problem she's actually quite nice. Just in that 21 year old "let's party" frame of mind constantly .. anyway...
The last 3 or 4 times I saw him he was asking me a lot of questions about kids (having had my own son at 26 under very different circumstances eg my own place in a relationship for 6 years etc etc ) so I out right asked him if his gf was pregnant he said "no but we are going to start trying soon"
I told him straight "You aren't ready for a child , you need your own space, you are in massive debt, you have only been with your gf 6 months you still have so much to learn about each other, you work like 100 hour weeks, how are you going to do that with a baby keeping you up all night " he told me I don't know what I'm talking about and if I can do it at 26 so can he.
I've had to bail him out 3 times in his life due to him jumping the gun to early and I feel like hes using the thought of a baby to distract him from his current problems
I'm just trying to protect him but I know he took it the wrong way and didn't really get where I was coming from.
So reddit.. am I the asshole? Should I apologise ? Should I let him make his own mistakes or should I come at it from a different angle ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3MZGVYxEU2hUCV5sdZVRMaKFzPuiC95a | aiyuel | {
"description": "not wanting to talk to my girlfriend on the phone about nothing",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to talk to my girlfriend on the phone about nothing? | She always wants to call when we’re not together. “Hey are we going to talk later?”
About what? If we’ve got something to say then yes let’s talk. I don’t just want to have a telephone conversation about nothing for the sake of it. I hate the telephone... Let’s call when we have a reason to call definitely but otherwise let’s just talk when we see each other.
Am I wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JbWzN9Jsbq6of82ktb3F7ynIGjiBt28r | akq8ck | {
"description": "refusing to talk to my father about the flat earth anymore",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to talk to my father about the flat earth anymore? | My father is a devout flat-eather, he has believed in this shit for about 2 years now and I have had numerous debates ever since. A lot of them become heated at some point. I usually try to keep calm and have a civil discussion with him but he always states that I am just "too slow" for him and always ends up getting frustrated with me and starts yelling. I am not a particularly emotional person but this always bothers me. Recently I have been having stress related issues related to these arguments that should have warranted a hospital visit but we chose not to go, luckily nothing came of them.
This morning I when I got up, my father was watching a round v. flat earth debate and even though I was scared an argument would ensue I decided I would give him the benefit of the doubt and talk about the video with him when he tried to include me. As it always had happened, he started getting frustrated with me when I tried to explain to him that the sun is the same size at all times in the day, and on a flat earth this would not be possible. Things started to get really heated and that is when I told him I would not talk about this topic or anything that had to do with it anymore.
He got upset with me and told me that I was just thinking of myself and that I was treating him wrong by assuming he wasn't going to change. I'm sure there is other details I left out, but I can't remember them right now. Is this true, am I the asshole in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
m3QOc2o8D83wALrxDwDw6P3zLGqPRDei | b28jxl | {
"description": "bringing a small meal for myself to my SIL's corned beef and cabbage dinner tonight",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for bringing a small meal for myself to my SIL’s corned beef and cabbage dinner tonight? | I can’t stand corned beef and cabbage. I’ve tried it a dozen different times, I have never enjoyed it. There’s a spice in most corned beef that causes an involuntary gag reflex, it’s not a “choke it down and shut the fuck up” situation.
More power to those that love corned beef and cabbage, but I’m not looking forward to spending another evening pushing the meat around my plate and trying to satiate my hunger with boiled potatoes and carrots.
I’m brining soda bread as a contribution to the group meal, but would I be an asshole for bringing a burrito or salad for myself to eat while the other guests eat corned beef? Should I send the soda bread with my SO and just stay home?
I mentioned the idea to the host, my future sister in law. She and I are quite close and she clearly wasn’t pleased with the idea (she takes holiday hosting VERY seriously) but I think she’d be more upset by my staying home and sending soda bread with my fiancé than me bringing an alternative meal in addition to the soda bread contribution.
What’s the best way of moving forward? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
smRdl39yavJR6snylO96phEc9LCLCJdv | b7dnid | {
"description": "being upset at my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset at my roommate? | Lately I feel that my roommate has been behaving quite coldly to me and now I'm really upset about it.
Last night she invited me to dinner with her family but because things have been weird between us (her rejecting me at every opportunity to hang out, her feeding dinner I made to the dogs after loudly proclaiming she didn't like it, etc.). I felt really anxious and asked her if she would rather keep it a family get together but she said no, I was invited. She asked why I was asking and said that clearly I was in a bad mood. I said no, because I didn't want to make a big thing out of it. I went to dinner with them and I thought we had a great time.
Today however, my roommate has not spoken to me since last night. Today she got up and was working in her room all morning and was talking to the dogs (we're dogsitting) but completely ignored me. She also went and took all three of them for a walk, obviously because she didn't want me to come along, even though she has never done that before (the big one is too unruly for her). Then she got in her car and drove off, presumably to go visit her family, but she didn't say goodbye to me or even tell me she was leaving.
I am really unbelievably hurt right now. Normally we tell each other everything and hang out together quite a bit. I have no idea what I did to deserve this.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pTzRRn2Dwa0CrwmwMXHua6LWC8mtCS7z | 9xzl3i | {
"description": "telling a pregnant coworker to stop using her pregnancy as a crutch",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling a pregnant coworker to stop using her pregnancy as a crutch? | Some context, I'm a manager of a warehouse floor who was just recently promoted to this position. This coworker was part of what I 'inherited'. The previous manager, let's call him J, had warned me upon my training that this particular coworker, we'll call her E, is a problem. Her job is basic desk and spreadsheet work, no physical activity with the exception of occasionally taking a binder up a flight of stairs to me or whoever is up there.
Here's the kicker, she's 1 week pregnant. 1 week. One. Week.
She has never been known to get shit done correctly. She constantly is late by at least 20 minutes every other day, is always on her phone, and has a horrible attitude. J has threatened to fire her many times but never went through with it.
She's gotten horrible. She's now late by at least an hour every other day saying it's morning sickness, she hasn't taken a shower in weeks, and she has not gotten any of her daily report logs (an easy 20 minute job) done since she announced her pregnancy. Every time we confront her about it, all she screams is that we're stressing her baby and when her baby dies because of it she'll sue.
She is very obviously taking advantage of being pregnant to the point that she has told me she can make me lose my job just by saying I harassed her and stressed her baby.
Finally I had enough and told her that she has a day to get caught up or her job will be given to someone else and she will be moved departments to a building where all she'll do is sit at a desk with no computer, no phone, and she will be forced to hit a button all day watching an assembly line. The most mind numbing, tedious work. I can't fire her because she's pregnant, and to my knowledge she can sue if we fire her.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
S0Mc0aPIRtOmnIbEGAqLHjnutuiVAELp | b029i5 | {
"description": "exposing a cheater",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA: Exposing a cheater | So a few years ago I had a long distance relationship with the person I thought was "the one". I mean it. We Skyped everyday, called each other when we weren't Skyping, sent gifts, taught her how to play a few strategy games so we could play together. Hell, we were even engaged for a while. Lets call her Tae to keep her name out of it. Unfortunately, I live in Ohio right and she lived in Arizona. Our loving relationship had passed the honeymoon stage and was into the second year when problems arrived. Having Skyped with Tae everyday I also spoke to her younger and older sister and a few of her friends on occasion. I was part of their lives for more than a year. However, one day a mutual friend hit me up on Skype after she had gone to bed. He told me about and showed screenshots of how she was flirting with and trading nudes with some guy in her town. A person, who she told me used to sexually harass her in school before she was pulled out. So the next day I hit up the guy and he confirmed it. I confronted her and she went through the whole "I'm sorry, I'm stupid, I have no self control" stuff.
I was in love with her, so instead of ending it and canceling plans to see her the next year I forgave her and asked her to keep away from him. Her parents & sisters hated him because he was the local dealer in a really poor area. She agreed, but things went downhill slowly from there. She got more distant and combative. I eventually was messaged by the guy again. With nudes of her. Furious, I blocked him and called her and demanded an explanation. She gave the same act. I still couldn't let go and I told her we were on thin ice, which legit upset her more than I had ever seen. Her tears may have been sincere but her heart wasn't. The year went on with little fights and petty gripes and my constant anxiety that the woman I loved was lying. But a WEEK before our 3 year anniversary she broke up with me, began dating the guy who used to harass her and even told me he let him take her virginity.
They fucked on Friday she was dumped on Sunday. PUMPED AND DUMPED in a week. That entire week she harassed me saying I was a terrible person, he was better than me in every way and so on. She came to me after it happened; crying in tears about how she was wrong to hurt me, and still cared about me but just didn't know if she loved me or would hurt me again if went back. But I still held out hope that we could. So for the next four months she acted like she was mine. In that time I found out she began dating two other guys. ONE WAS THE SAME GUY! Except this time she was dating him and another guy at the same time. So I went into my messages, my pics and logs. Took screenshots and waited until she had some post about one of either of them. And then I just spammed everything I had. I dug up their identities and did the same thing in pms. Then I told her parents her, friends, anyone I knew she knew and blasted her with her constant fucking lies! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
nb4NgRn4Vc4oy5BWkKoU87GloRsu02gl | azslys | {
"description": "not really wanting sex with my girlfriend during her pregnancy because I'm not into it",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not really wanting sex with my girlfriend during her pregnancy because I’m not into it? |
I’ll do it if she initiates it and really wants it but I don’t initiate it ever and I try to avoid situations where it would happen.
I understand this sounds rude but I want to be brutally honest with how I say this.
It’s boring, we can do like one position and it’s like both laid down, me on my side and her laid on her back. We don’t even kiss, no oral and we have to change the sheets after. Any other position just hurts her since she got pregnant.
I really don’t have a good time during sex so I just want to jack it myself. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
BqQ5SLMBav6xp23z1ZcKmkCJ9SHRjPOu | 9t5k1y | null | AITA fot not wanting to share my birthday? | I know this is really minor compared to a lot of stuff in this sub, but it's been really bugging me.
My birthday is coming up and I want to invite some close friends to a picnic on the park. I'm also thinking of asking them to bring their dogs along because I love doggos.
When I told this to my friends, one of the girls told me it was better if we didn't bring our dogs, because she lives next to the park and she wants to bring us all over to her house to look at the pictures of her quinceañera. It kind of bugged me...
Her quinceañera was June last year, and it was a huge, beautiful party. I know it meant a lot to her, and I'm really glad she wants to show us the pictures. But tbh, I wonder if she could have chosen any other day to do it...
I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday, so I'm feeling a little selfish for not wanting us to go to her house after the picnic. Am I being an asshole here?? Should I share the day with her, since she's so excited about it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
AZypappHuPyKle5AEZ6hBWifUymZsMRi | ar0y3f | {
"description": "refusing to retroactively pay damages my pet made to personal property",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for refusing to retroactively pay damages my pet made to personal property? | I recently moved out of my apartment once the lease was up. My roommate elected to stay and got a new roommate to replace me. The energy bill was in my name and I warned her that the last bill will be owed after I move out. I told her when I expected to receive it and said I would contact her once I know her share. I just contacted her about her share and two weeks later she informed me that she is retroactively charging me for damages my dog caused to her personal property while I was living with her. She estimates that her damages cost more than the utility bill and we should just call it even out of the goodness of her heart. I think that the appropriate time to charge me for damages would have been at the time the damages occurred and I have no intention of paying for those damages now. Especially not at the full retail price she is quoting. Additionally, she has full access to my security deposit and will be getting my money once she moves. AITA for insisting that my ex roommate pay her portion of the utility bill? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
gc6bJNJsXvsdU0aKG0haijR48puTHZtH | 9ytwue | {
"description": "telling my friends I don't have any problems and ruining the mood",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friends I don't have any problems and ruining the mood? | I have a group of friends in college and the 6 of us are spread out in three different courses but we're all really close. Like all normal friendships we vent to each other and bitch about some people (some times people are in our friend group), typical teenager drama.
We all got really drunk last week and then started talking about life. Everyone was crying about peer pressure, shitty parents and how hard their degrees are. When it came to my turn I just said that I don't have anything to complain about. They got really offended and kept telling me to take my holier than thou attitude somewhere else. The thing is I really don't have anything to complain about??? My parents pay my tuition, my degree is pretty easy if you study regularly and I've come to enjoy it. My boyfriend and I stopped having problems years ago. I'm actually really grateful for everything and everyone in my life. Idk student life seems like the easiest and nicest phase of life to me. All I really have to do is try to understand a few lectures at the end of the semester.
I tried talking to my friends but they were being really passive agressive all week. Do you guys think I was an asshole for ruining the mood that night? I'm a little afraid I'm coming off as trying too hard to be edgy and someone who thinks they're superior :/ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xhRcoPV3n6l5G8kzcpUdOLAJ03hA4095 | abd5vf | {
"description": "wanting to stick to our original plans of staying in for a sex night tonight",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to stick to our original plans of staying in for a sex night tonight? | Its 7 PM, my husband is asleep in bed after being upset I did not want to go out...to sit at the bar at a specific restaurant only because we have a gift card.
Since making New Years Eve plans we decided we were broke and could use a night at home just the two of us for wild sex.
Well today he says "Why don't we go to Ruth's Chris and sit at the bar?" I rarely drink and am not in the mood to do so. I tell him "I don't feel like getting dressed up and getting a drink."
He got so upset that he cancelled the babysitter which I then said "Ok, let's go out. I'm sure we will have fun." No, he has barely looked at me all evening and is now in bed asleep.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
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TRJJH1iVStOs1YIJ6ggmb2I2wtVJPQGi | b7uuqj | {
"description": "telling my Ex's roommates they are bad friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my Ex's roommates they are bad friends? | Ex and I had been together 4 years. I got deployed. Two months into the deployment Ex calls "it's not you, it's me" and suddenly we are not together anymore. Life goes 100to0 real quick. We had still been talking since the breakup. It is hard to cut out the primary person in your life for the last 4 years. During conversations it has come up she is dating someone since the breakup, not something that she can't do. It still stings like though since I am still deployed. The whole time she held a notion that things could line up for us sometime later in life. The other day Ex's new boyfriend broke up with her. I was there to comfort her. Before you jump to conclusions, I already told her we're not getting back together since she started dating someone else. It just felt nice to be leaned on after doing so much leaning. We were still trying to be friends, but the next conversation was shitty. I told her I wouldn't hang up no matter what she told me, I did not hang up. Long story short, She cheated on me, didn't plan on telling me, lied for 2 months and is now sorry.
I am fucked up about this now. I am still talking to her and trying to not lash out. I am emotionally confused, she has been my stability for the deployment, I still care for her. Her life is a wreck now and I am trying to help her as well. I should cut ties, but she \*\*was\*\* my best friend and I do my best to stick by friends. Ex is 100% guilty on all charges and has plead as such, but I am not going to just watch a person jump off a cliff even after they stab me in the back.
AITA part: Ex's roommates are pretty much her only friends. I have heard the gossip on them.They are not that great of friends. I was texting one of these friends (W) before I found out the "big news" to make sure Ex was still eating and not hurting herself. I found out that over the last 3ish months, these friends had known and largely fed into her delusion and in general are just pushing her to go out and drink a lot. So, being in the emotional/angry state that I was in after I found out, I texted W saying they were bad friends for sitting back and watching Ex fuck her life up, lie and feed her delusion, unfuck yourselves and help her. (text was long AF, only swore 1 more time, personally attacked no one)
W's response "I'm a great friend to Ex, always have been, and will continue to be.This text was rude and uncalled for. Please don't message me again."
I thought her response was comical because I know just how often my Ex's friends bail on treat her with complete disregard, but I didn't text W. Yes her friends are not responsible for her actions, but they did encourage things working out later and I feel slighted because I was lied to a lot. Now my ex is telling me her roommates are all pissed about the text I sent and extremely offended. I feel like the only reason they should feel offended is if any of the text struck home for them. AITA | HISTORICAL | {
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mE16bkfvUIAtk4LdeAx7nTBgiISZlIzS | 9u33hp | {
"description": "not wanting to be in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be in a relationship? | My SO and I have been dating for 9 months and a lot of recent times have been fighting. We both have our mental health issues and they seem to clash.
We had a long talk and agreed that we would have strategies to work on our issues.
However, that still leaves me in the place that I don't think I want to be in a relationship. I don't see a long term future where I'm in a relationship. I brought this up and it was met with words of support but in the longer term it seemed to turn to persuasion to stay.
I still want to be friends, and I enjoy the good times we have together. I still want to see them.
Is it a dick move to leave? | HISTORICAL | {
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wAwCWEPXq1EuiUTF2STNB718TxxtzctY | avnj45 | {
"description": "telling my bf I knew he talked shit about me with his best friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For telling my bf I knew he talked shit about me with his best friend? | Long story short, mi bf gave me his fb password because “he trusted me with anything” I shouldn’t have accepted it, nor should I have entered the account. I checked his conversation with his bestfriend and I found out he was talking shit about me, my parents, my friends and was pretty much a different person when talking to him. AITA to have confronted him about it? He broke up with me because I “invaded his privacy”. Which I did. But I feel like it was all just because he didn’t want to deal with the repercussion of his words.
Sorry for the bad english. | HISTORICAL | {
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Y78NWcE7i8rKXyHqNQS3qg8Aj73l9ZDG | arwsmr | {
"description": "ending this friendship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ending this friendship? |
I’ve been asking myself this for quite some time now and I thought I’d let the wise people of Reddit decide whether I am the asshole or not. It’s quite a long story, English is not my native language, bear with me please.
I’ll call my former friend “Z”.
Z and I became friends when we were 12 or 13. We were in the same grade and bonded during a school trip. She was friends with another girl, let’s call her J. Z, J and I were best friends. We spent all of our breaks together and both accepted me in their 2-person friend group.
At this time I was all about anime and Creepypasta and of course I told my friends about it. Z started liking those things as well and we watched a lot of videos and anime after school together. I was really happy to finally have a friend to share my interests with and to hang out with all the time. I had another hobby at that time, gaming. She didn’t enjoy it that much but I remember that we played lots of Smash Bros. on a N64, but I rather played on PC. I had a lot of male online friends because well, I was a girl playing video games. (I became best friends with a boy living 3h away from me, let’s call him M. We met online when I was 11 and were best online friends ever since. He was 3 years older than me. He is important to the story.)
Anyways, I talked to M a lot via Skype and even sometimes when Z was around. They didn’t really like each other. At that time I had a fight with another online friend and M got involved as well. Both were jealous of each other because of me. I was really sad that they fought and Z wanted to get involved to settle it. Nice intentions, right? Wrong. After Z got involved, M blocked me everywhere. I didn’t know why. I was hurt, because I trusted him and loved him as a friend so much. He then unblocked me and told me that Z was way better than me and I should go for the other guy I didn’t even like. I got confused. Z stole my best friend. At school she told me that she and M talked for hours that night and how tired she is. I was so hurt and angry. How evil to you have to be to tell your BEST FRIEND you talked to the guy she LOST AS FRIEND BECAUSE SHE STOLE HIM?
A few weeks later and I still haven’t heard anything from M. Z told me he wanted her to write him sex-related stories. He asked me the same before but I declined because I was 13. She delivered. I got so pissed. I hated her but we were still friends, because J and her were the only people that talked to me and didn’t bully me at school.
I came up with a plan to text M via an alternate account. I wrote a heartful text about our long friendship and how he could give it up and how mean Z is to me and how she hurt me and how evil she is. I somehow convinced him to become my best friend again because I loved him so much and losing him was (at that age and time) the most hurtful thing ever. He then started to turn his back on Z and ended things with her and started insulting her (I didn’t want it but it kinda felt good at that time). She came to me and was so confused as to why that happened. I acted like I didn’t know. She still doesn’t know until this day and I got quite some satisfaction out of it.
(M and I ended our friendship some years later because he was a nice guy but that is for another story.)
Anyways. Z did some more things other than that and I will just list them. Please have in mind, that is just my side of the story, but I was always a loyal friend to her after that first incident.
1. She copied everything I did. I was happy that I developed my own individual personality and interests at that age (13) and she copied all of it. My clothing style, the way I talked, my drawing style. She even saw me drawing something in class and then drew the exact same thing and presented it as if it was her own idea. She was not an individual, she was me. That pissed me off so badly.
2. M was a bad person and he pressured me into cutting myself (again, how he did that is another story). I always tried to hide it because I was so ashamed of myself but she saw it. A few days later she had cuts as well but didn’t hide it and showed it around. I still don’t understand why someone would to that. To this day I am still ashamed of my scars.
3. At another school trip we were sleeping in a tent together. It was a canoe trip and I only packed one bra and that bra ripped so I had to wear my bikini top. One night she unhooked it and I told her to stop it, she then caressed my hip and belly and talked in a voice that I think was supposed to be somewhat seductive. I got creeped out and told her to re-do my top and to stop touching me. She didn’t stop until I began to talk more loudly.
4. When I was 16 my bf broke up with me, so Z, J and me got super drunk. We were in my room and Z kissed me and touched me between my legs, J watched. I left the bed and went to sleep on the floor because she wouldn’t stop again. Z and J made out. After that night Z confessed she had a crush on me but I turned her down since we were best friends.
5. Same year. She dated a guy (G) for some months, he broke up with her. He then dated her cousin and Z got jealous (that’s understandable). G introduced me to weed and we smoked together because we were friends, kind of. Z heard of it and wanted to try as well so we smoked together. (She never inhaled it, she just had the smoke in her mouth and pretended to be high, I always watched her). We smoked and drank some time and I got sick. The sun burned my head, I was high as a kite and kinda tipsy. I had to throw up. (I have some kind of phobia of throwing up so this was horrible). She never came to help me, I got vomit all over my hair and hands and shoes and she just sat there and watched and didn’t move to take care of me, even though she always claimed she would. I cried and shivered and just wanted to walk home (5 minute walk). She claimed she wasn’t able to help me because she was so stoned (yeah right). In reality she wanted to sit next to G and take advantage of him being high because he would get kind of touchy when he was. She wanted to get revenge on her cousin for “stealing” her bf.
6. She always followed me around in school even though I told her to stop because we both have other friends and I wanted to talk to them (they weren’t her friends as well) and she could talk to hers. I often snapped at her and became really mean because I just wanted to be left alone.
7. Before she left school, she didn't get any grades due to her being ill. We had to do a group project in one class and I was sick when they were making groups. She pushed me out of my standard group for doing projects and later left a voice mail talking about the day and just laughing about how I was placed in a group wth the worst students of this class and my worst enemy. (She could be part of another AITA)
She recently had to leave school due to depression.(I still think she enjoyed the attention of her being the main role in a play, a girl with depression and she got into the role a bit too deep, resulting in that depressive phase, but I guess I am waaaay wrong with that). I talked a lot of shit about her to my friends at that time and I kinda feel sorry for that but I just had to vent to someone because otherwise I would have snapped at Z and that would hurt her even more.
She never said bye to any of her friends. I was going through a tough part in life as well. My bf broke up, my cat died, a year later my parents told me they are getting a divorce. So yeah, I didn’t have much time beside school to deal with her. She was out of school, going to therapy and I was in school, dealing with exams, my social anxiety and depression. In the end I was just giving and forgiving her for all those things she has done to me. I never got anything in return. She was always in a mood, being bitchy when she liked and overall not the best friend. I had lots of friends that I had already helped over the years, including my ex-bf of 1,5 years, but she wasn’t really there for me when I was down, it could have been due to her depression. She made everything about herself and all those things I listed made me dislike her even more. I kinda think this friendship was quite toxic from the beginning on both sides. At the end I just stopped caring because I kind of got numb to all of this and her bullshit. She tried to reach out to me some weeks ago but I ignored it.
What do you think? AITA for “leaving” her in her worst phase in life? | HISTORICAL | {
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Zaq3FgUZgdBsL7VTGbsuvhFUff8MlIZo | aqalhm | {
"description": "making a tie instead of a scarf",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a tie instead of a scarf | First off, I don't think I am the asshole here. I think my husband is acting like a child, but I want to make sure that I am not being insensitive because of how hurt I am.
My kids have a banquet on Sunday and it is Harry Potter themed. He found a cool way to make robes and I was going to knit or crotchet a scarf in Gryffindor colors (as it is their favorite house). The problem is the scarfs weren't coming out the way I wanted them to and were taking a lot of time. So I had the thought of crocheting a tie in the same colors. I figured it was more practical as it would be hot with a scarf on and the students in the movies all wear ties as part of the uniform. I whipped one up quickly and it looks good. I was finishing it up and my husband came downstairs and was really rude.
He says it is horrible because it isn't what we discussed. He says that we agreed on the scarfs and if I had just done them the way he thought I should do them I would he done (he doesn't get why it wasn't working). I know he is stressed out from work and so I ask him what is really bothering him. He tells me I changed the plan without bothering to tell him. I explain that I was just trying something to see if it would work. He claims that it is awful because no one wears a knit tie and it would look like bad cos play. Our kids are 6 ans 4. This isn't some fancy thing. I really think it would look cute. I still do. We usually have great communication, but he is being a complete prick. I am also not in the best headspace. I am in a lot of pain and currently at the doctor's waiting to see if it is more likely kidney stones or pancreatitis. I am trying to be patient, but I am just done.
Should I have mentioned the change before trying it out? | HISTORICAL | {
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G9Y6EN95jj5yzH0HndCsvEKGrDfi6dAR | b4j5u1 | {
"description": "telling trainers at the gym to stop touching me",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA for telling trainers at the gym to stop touching me? | The title pretty much says it all. I've started going to the gym semi- regularly and doing some fitness classes, like spinning and full body workout things. During a spinning class, the instructor came up to me and, without asking me, put his hand on my back to correct my posture. I immediately shook his hand off and told him "Please, no touching. Thanks." He looked irritated but left me alone. He never came to my bike again during the session. In a different class, a female instructor pushed my legs up during crunches, when I physically couldn't pull them up further. I simply let my legs fall and waved a hand to signal "leave me alone." Every time I do this, the trainers look so defeated and almost sad. I get that their job is to make sure everybody gets the most out of the training, but I really dislike being touched by strangers, and even more so when I am sweaty and feel somewhat vulnerable.
Still I can't help feeling that I'm being childish, since nobody else seems to mind the trainers correcting them. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
gqoBgjEd50su2mVoBXmLa5pJEeBb1NmK | a8yqmn | {
"description": "judging people who sleep their way up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for judging people who sleep their way up? | I know couple of people who have landed a job or moved up heir career, solely because they slept with someone.
I used be like, you do you. But one of my close friends did the same thing. If it wasn’t for them sleeping with someone, the current job would be impossible.
A little part of me has lost respect for the person.
I want to bring it up and say it directly to their face, which may ruin our friendship. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
qJY8lM3Ba5aoagSQFYIp38fwLkLgbrve | b09rlc | {
"description": "trying to take over a new lease for my apartment without my current roommate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for trying to take over a new lease for my apartment without my current roommate? | Hey arbiters of assholiness!
I've lived with my roommate for just about two years now. His previous roommate moved out and I signed a new lease with him. That new lease expired about 10 months ago and since it expired, we've just been living month-to-month with no lease. This was my roommate's idea because the landlord didn't really care and without a new lease, the landlord wasn't going to increase the rent. I didn't love the idea at the time for reasons I'll get into in a bit, but I agreed to it anyway.
Recently, my girlfriend and I decided to move in together. While we are looking at other apartments in the area, the apartment I'm currently in fits the bill of what we're looking for perfectly and there hasn't been on a lease for a while, so I reached out to my landlord and offered to sign a new lease with just myself and my girlfriend (several months from now, wanted to give plenty of notice). Before doing any of this, I sat down with my roommate, explained the situation, and encouraged him to also reach out to the landlord with the same offer if he's also interested in snagging the apartment himself and we'll just leave the decision in the hands of our landlord.
Initially he seemed cool with this but last night, he confronted me and tried to guilt/pressure me into rescinding my interest in the place and just move out, saying that he's been in the apartment for longer (only by a couple months), I'm the one who moved in, etc, so he should get to keep it. There is one other element of this worth mentioning:
In the last month of our previous lease (so around 10 months ago), his girlfriend moved out of her apartment and moved in "with her parents". In reality, she started spending 7 nights/week at our place and has lived here full time since then without paying rent. He did not ask me if I was okay with this, said that it would be temporary, and his timing was impeccable as the terms of our lease (which was about to expire) VERY clearly stated it was for two tenants and anyone who spends more than 10 nights per month in the apartment is considered a tenant. However, with the lease expired, I didn't want to make any waves since the landlord knows him better and I couldn't afford to potentially get kicked out and replaced by his girlfriend for bringing it up.
The way I see it, I'm giving both roommates/couples equal footing to vie for the apartment. Yes, I'm the one disrupting the status quo here, but the status quo was an unfair situation that was taking advantage of me and my financial inability to escape it. The way he sees it, its not my apartment to vie for and he should get to keep it without involving the landlord by virtue of being here first.
Am I the dick here, is he, or are we both two assholes who deserve each other? | HISTORICAL | {
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J7DXwOqFNRePe7Ro7giHnwPnrZ7mc4tL | b7ur5n | {
"description": "turning a soda bottle upside down on the table and unscrewing the salt shakers",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | AITA for turning a soda bottle upside down on the table and unscrewing the salt shakers. | So basically I’m on a d.c.field trip and this waiter is being rude to me, and I’ll tell you what happened leading up to me fucking up the table. So it was my first time going to this mid evil style restaurant and he asks me for my table card, I didn’t here him so he asks me again and then I give it to him, he walks away saying are you deaf man in a somewhat annoyed tone of voice. Then he brings us garlic bread and he gives me the worst one. He even said he’s going to give me the worst piece because I didn’t cheer for him enough(this was because at the restaurant I go to is mid evil themed and they do tournaments there and the waiter was also a helper of the knight on our team. So I’m getting a tad bit of annoyed at this point because I haven’t had to deal with a situation like this. Now I get served chicken and he gives me the biggest piece, his reason for this is because he exclaims I am the biggest chicken he ever met, of course my classmates laugh at this but thankfully I never cried or anything like that. Now when he is serving us potatoes and corn the king was announcing birthdays of people in the crowd he said the whole crowd wasn’t cheering enough, the waiter hearing this while walking to our table decides to shout my name, i know he shouted it because I didn’t cheer for him enough as I stated before. So then when the fights were almost over he started to hand out wet wipes for us to wipe our hands with, what this dude decided to do was have two of them in his hand he hands me one and I take it, when I look at it while grabbing it he throws it at my face with about as much force you would throw a toy for your dog. So I’m like pissed of but I’m not showing it so I think to myself that I need to get some revenge, I end up decided to unscrew the salt shakers and flip the soda bottle on it’s opened lid so that it will make a big mess when picked up.
After I left I call my sister and tell her what happened, she tells me I should’ve told him to stop and that it’s his job to entertain people. I don’t know if I should’ve told him to stop but I just wanted to get this off my chest.
( please when reading this keep keep in mind that I’m on the bus going to the hotel and I’m kind of cranky and tired from walk-in all day and having to deal with this waiter.) thanks for reading. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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} | WRONG |
Gl97UbpSEDFRb0hMuC9LSgpeCWEp1GeZ | b0dhwq | {
"description": "not accepting my dad's apology",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not accepting my dad's apology | I have a quick question for anyone active right now. I was just in a fight with my dad and his fiancee where he was calling my mom a slut because apparently, she had an abortion at 16 (They are divoriced now). He came in to my room a few minutes ago, with (what seemed to be) real tears in my eyes and he apologised to me for saying bad things about my mom. All I responded with was "Okay". My intelligent side is telling me to stay with my moral of "if you talk crap about someone, apologise to them." My more emotional side is telling me to give him a hug and tell him that I forgive him. I just want to know who is/would be in the wrong if I don't accept his apology. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
j8Aunini55IquygZgVxnR768hlwJP0XZ | 9x8l8g | {
"description": "not wanting to take my girlfriend to the cinema",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for not wanting to take my girlfriend to the cinema? | Every week my friend and I go to the cinema to see the latest film, we have done this for years. Recently though whenever there is a big block buster my girlfriend insists on coming along. I've said to her that I am happy to see a film again on the weekend as it gives me a chance to catch some parts I may have missed. She doesn't want to do that though and immediately gets annoyed by me not wanting to take her and thinks I'm embarrassed to introduce them together. They've met multiple times and there is no problem there.
Usually though the cinema is a chance to have a chat with one of my oldest friends about life and problems and it's easier for both of us to do that if she is not there. She doesn't seem to understand that though even after explanation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
jpB9MKtTZa2MHwj9hjcxHkqYKV9CUwvI | aufhlp | {
"description": "not dating a girl because of her sexual history",
"pronormative_score": 121,
"contranormative_score": 39
} | AITA for not dating a girl because of her sexual history | I was casually seeing this girl for about 2 months. She's a nice person and really attractive, but she had slept with at least 12 guys that are on my college football team, of which I am a part of. She recently asked if I wanted to try actually dating. I refused. My reasoning was as follows:
​
1) I don't date girls who have slept with people I am friends with. Thats a boundary I have always had. To me it's the same principle of "don't shit where you eat". I don't want the unnecessary drama.
​
2) I don't date girls that seem to go after athletes. I have a realistic shot at going pro and getting into a relationship with a ball bunny is literally my worst nightmare. No thanks.
​
I didn't want to tell her why but as soon as I said no she said "is it because I slept with a bunch of the dudes on your team?". Me being kind of on the spot, I said yeah. She was obviously hurt and I did my best to make it clear that I thought she was a really cool person, it was just a mismatch of boundaries. We agreed to part ways and not continue to hang out. A little while late a mutual friend (who I think has feelings for her) blew up at me and called me a sexist asshole. I really don't get it? Like if I was into dudes and this girl was a dude I was sleeping with then my answer would have been the exact same thing. Plus like dating a girl with a reputation on a football team is just asking to be roasted about it. I'd rather not deal with the chirps or the potential insecurity. AITA?
​
TL;DR Girl I was seeing has been around the locker room a bit. That made me decide I didn't want to pursue a serious relationship. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 109,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 8
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 121,
"WRONG": 39
} | RIGHT |
1lwDNv1pMl7rTrwOk9rSaHCUc7ZiVz02 | atgoti | {
"description": "telling my mom that she should have named me something else",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 25
} | AITA for telling my mom that she should have named me something else? | So for reference, my name is Shanshan. Yea I know, weird asf. It means “blooming flower” in my native language but it hasn’t done me any favors growing up in America. I got teased so much growing up and even to this day (I’m 19) I get weird looks when introducing myself. When people see my name at work on my name tag they ask me if it’s my real name. Whenever I’m ordering from Starbucks or any situation where I don’t have to use my real name I always use a different name (my personal go to is Adelina, I love that name)
I was talking to my mom yesterday and somehow the topic of names came up. I told her that she should have picked a different name for me when I was born, and she was like “why, your name is beautiful” and I was like “yea not here though” and she seemed hurt by it.
I’m just wondering AITA in this situation. I mean I’m the one who has to live with the name so can’t I feel a way about it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 26,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 25
} | RIGHT |
ZHQ3s5RhfDWDYwillguTpFhydpYajjLK | azwmze | {
"description": "ghosting someone over being late",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ghosting someone over being late? | I (25F) have a family friend Mike (49M). He was friends with my mom in high school and I've known him since birth. I only saw him rarely but used to chat with him on the phone every now and then.
My mom has narcissistic tendencies and once I became a teen I used to talk to Mike for advice whenever he called. I noticed that Mike is a bit of a pathological liar and that he slowly took more and more liberties with the truth as time went on. Eventually he started to claim that I was his daughter. He tells people that he has a daughter and shows them my picture. He asked my mom if he could adopt me. He told me that he added me to his USAA insurance as his daughter. I don't really feel comfortable with this but he has always been there to give advice and at this point it would seem pretty ungrateful if I were to set him completely straight, he seems to have lost grip with the reality of our friendship. I've also always felt that he has unrequited feelings for my mom, which could be why he clings onto me so much.
Last month, Mike mentioned that he'd be in town and we made arrangements to get dinner. This involved me pushing for details as he claimed he could meet me "whenever", but later revealed that we would be meeting on the evening he flew in and he would be coming straight to the restaurant from the airport. Once I knew that I planned accordingly to give him enough time.
The dinner was terrible. He was more than an hour late, insisting the whole time he would be there soon. He brought a friend with him who bogarted the conversation by bragging about his life. My mom attended dinner and Mike kept making gross jokes - for example, my mom said there was a line for the bathroom and Mike cupped his hands in front of him and said "here." Since Mike and his friend were so late, we went ahead and ordered our entrees - but when they arrived, they ate our food instead of ordering their own.
I couldn't believe how Mike could claim to see me as a daughter and then act that way. Since we only speak a couple times a month, I decided to just not respond. Since then he has tried to contact me four times and I have ignored his attempts. I know if I told him why I was upset he'd just give me excuses for why everything was justified. I'm not really interested in that, but I'm starting to feel guilty since he probably doesn't see that he did anything wrong. AITA?
TL'DR: My family friend is a pathological liar and claims to see me as his daughter. After reaching out to meet up for dinner, he ended up being over an hour late, brought a friend I didn't really know, ate my food instead of ordering his own, and made gross jokes to flirt with my mom. AITA for just ghosting him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
EMc5UyBUmZez6hEKUmpkzbcsOoZXh9eb | ad9w2w | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my friend's bf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with my friend’s bf? | We’re a group of six girls who’ve known each other about 2 years. I also have a group of guy friends who I’m closer with who I’ve known for about 5 years. Recently two of the girls in my girl group started going out with two of the guy group. Predictably, we started hanging out as couples, and I kept doing girls only activities for the other girls.
One of the girls, Gabi, has been getting angry and upset because we haven’t been including her in any of the boyfriend/girlfriend activities (or including ourselves in boyfriend/girlfriend situations with her and her bf), but... her boyfriend is an enormous asshole and a bully. He’s told me to kill myself, that I’m a trash human being, that I’m an ungrateful pig, etc. All because I tried defending a friend he was bullying ONCE. Ever since then, he’s been verbally abusive to me in a couple other situations.
So I don’t really want to make an effort to include him, and even if he’d make an effort to apologize or try to get along (which he hasn’t and likely won’t) I still wouldn’t include him. She excuses his behavior and blames ME for not being mature enough, saying that I’m stuck up and want everyone to do what I say.
Am I an asshole for not wanting to get NEAR a guy who acts this way? He is the same way with her and she’s constantly coming to us crying and frustrated because he is emotionally abusive to her, and I simply cannot relax and have fun with someone who is like that. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
d8I6cuX63robf8HFWuOzzHV0sZ4Iagjs | b7hdbw | {
"description": "not commenting on my mom's Facebook post",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not commenting on my mom's Facebook post? | Okay, so here's the deal. I love my mother very much, but as a person, I can't stand her. She is very manipulative - basically an expert victim. Nothing is ever her fault. She does not ever apologize. She hit my husband - like, purposely physically struck him - a couple Christmases ago and then had the balls to tell him "I'm sorry you're so sensitive" when he quite rightly flipped his shit.
​
Anyway, that's not what this post is about. My twin brother (who is very low-functioning, special needs, and lives in a group home - more on this later) and I had a milestone birthday earlier this week. To commemorate, my mom put together a video slide show of family pictures ranging from when we were born to more or less the present day. She set it to music and everything. I thought it was a little bit chintzy, but basically sweet. I appreciate the effort she put into it, and told her, via text, that I liked it.
​
Apparently that wasn't enough. She also, as you may have gleaned from the title of this post, put the video up on Facebook. It's filled with comments from her friends that are all like "the love you have for your family shines through!" and "this is so sweet, it made me cry!" et cetera. Apparently, I was also supposed to join in on the public admiration and fawn over it, and her, for the world to see - as I found out last night after I got a bitchy, drunken text message calling me out for not acknowledging it and essentially saying that she knows I saw it because my husband "liked" it.
​
Okay, cool. I kind of see where she's coming from. She feels snubbed, and that's reasonable. But here's the thing. I want to snub her. She quit her job after my brother and I were born, because he needed full-time care, but refused to return to work even after he stopped living with us, saying that my dad owed it to her to support her "after all she'd been through." My dad does not make much money, by the way. My childhood is filled with memories of extreme anxiety and financial stress, my parents screaming at and hitting each other, and me basically hiding in my room, biding my time until I turned 18 and could leave, which I promptly did. I left home over a decade ago and haven't looked back. I go home as little as possible. I haven't been home in 9 months, and the filial guilt to pay a perfunctory visit is weighing down hard, but whenever I go to book a flight, my throat tightens up and I start to have a panic attack.
​
I feel awful, because I love my dad (another thing my mom resents - she turned me against him when I was growing up) and don't want to put him in the middle of this. I feel like I should just apologize, leave a pandering little comment on her post, and let it go. But I really do not fucking want to. What should I do? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uA1JeSR5kraKAGEN7DhMSmeNrePAL1Hd | ayleoc | {
"description": "tailgating someone going really slow on the highway",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for tailgating someone going really slow on the highway | Ok quick one. Background I’m 16M.
Me and a couple friends were going off campus for lunch and we gotta be quick cuz we only got 30 mins and I always drive cuz I got a C43 and it’s 4 door. Anyway, 2 lane highway two cars in front of us we’re in fast lane and lady in the car is basically matching speed of car on right which is my pet peeve and they’re going fucking 60 when speed limit is 65.
I basically get really close to the back of the lady and keep accelerating and decelerating until she speeds up just enough just enough so i slipped the gap and she looked at us with this gawking face that only middle aged white woman can pull off. My friends and I burst out laughing and sped up and away.
AITA or is she for going really slow on the highway FAST LANE right next to another car thereby blocking passers? It’s not like she couldnt speed up too she was in a rover not some beater | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
2qLx9JgAOPs5VIrKywrHRb1xHUyxX3P5 | b61ycs | {
"description": "getting upset at the girl I've been seeing for leading on one of my fraternity brothers and ghosting him",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset at the girl I’ve been seeing for leading on one of my fraternity brothers and ghosting him? | There’s this girl I’ve been seeing (we’ll call her K) for about 6 weeks. She’s fun, sweet, and we have a lot in common. We’ve been talking and hanging out pretty frequently, and this weekend I met her mom and sisters. K is seen as very attractive, and a lot of other brothers in my fraternity tried talking to her at first before they knew about us seeing each other. This wasn’t a huge deal as we weren’t technically exclusive at the time so I didn’t want to be controlling and she just politely turned them down anyway.
Well, she just told me tonight that at a recent party one of the pledges (let’s call him T) started talking her up and drinking with her. Not a big deal, I trust her and T is a new guy who didn’t know we’re together. Anyway, he texted her later telling her that he wants something more and wants to date. This was after meeting her once and chatting with her for maybe 45 minutes. I don’t think he’s the asshole here, but chill out T lol.
To my surprise, she told T that she was also looking for something more...and proceeded to ghost him. She clarified to me she never wanted to be with him in the first place, but that she feigned interest then ghosted him because she might need more wristbands (essentially entry tickets) for a huge upcoming party we’re having. This upset me, and I told her she was a snake for doing that. I kept myself in check, didn’t act super pissed or anything and she kinda brushed it off and justified it by saying something along the lines of “most guys are assholes too.” We didn’t get into an argument over it, since I was just so caught off guard and didn’t know if I was overreacting or not. The conversation quickly changed topic after that, and it didn’t come back up. She left not long after.
After she left I had some time to process and think it over and I still think what she did was pretty fucked up—especially considering that I will be calling this guy my brother in a few weeks. I’m not really sure what to make of this or if I’m overreacting by getting upset and calling her a snake. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
C4hdQIk7pVg4BZVYjDdgzCcwyQIgAlAw | apsi7e | {
"description": "taking a job as a ring card girl for a local MMA show",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a job as a ring card girl for a local MMA show? | Posting from a throwaway because my real account almost certainly has references to where I live and my old job.
In my "real" life I'm a student at a large university, sociology major with a minor in stats. I'm active in several volunteer service groups and am treasurer of the campus version of my chosen political party. I was also working for a group that fund raises to research and advocate for things like environmental justice and modeling methods of food and water equity.
About a month ago I showed up to work to find a pad locked door and the fact that I no longer had a job. The rumors are flying but I honestly don't know what happened. What is good is national stepped in and paid half our last months check with a promise that the other half will be paid in April so I'm glad we aren't totally high and dry.
However I need a job. I have a few friends outside my normal social circle and one of them mentioned that he was working for a local MMA promotion and they desperately needed a ring card girl for what would have been last weekend's show. I honestly had no idea what it was so I looked it up and its defintely not my ordinary thing but it paid $200 cash for 3 hours work. The outfits were actually cute and more like a sports bra and yoga shorts than a skimpy bikini. I did the job and it was actually really fun, there were defintely "woos and whistles" but for the most part everyone was respectful. The two other girls were super cool and we didn't even watch the fights because we had so much getting to know each other. I got a free outfit, a free set of sweats and even free dinner and hotel room at the casino. I got another offer to work this coming weekend in another state but I would have to do weigh ins on Friday and the event on Saturday for a total of $500. I happily agreed.
My social circle is apoplectic that I took this job. They think it's objectifying, degrading and violent. I told them that it was actually the opposite and one told me I was blinded by the money (which is ironic because he comes from a rich family in California). I've been told that MMA is representative of what happens in a society that doesn't strive for equity and now I'm in the thick of it. No one has said we aren't friends or anything like that but there was much coldness at one of my Monday night meetings and I wasn't invited to dinner afterwards like I have been for almost 2 years now.
I feel like an asshole but am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YpcRdaW56Wb1mwUFR98KLeNSKlJUU12j | b6ex1s | {
"description": "telling my wife that she's being selfish and entitled for expecting my parents to loan us money",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my wife that she's being selfish and entitled for expecting my parents to loan us money? | Okay I have to admit, I feel like I'm NTA but my wife has gotten in my head and I need a third party opinion.
My wife and I are trying to buy a house. We are already qualified and are ready to make an offer. Currently with what we have and how much we make, we will have no problem affording a house, however buying down the interest rate would make our payments feel much more comfortable, but its not a necessity.
Several years ago, my father gave $10k to my older brother to purchase a home. Armed with my knowledge of this, I asked my father for a small loan of $2,600 to help buy down our interest rate last week. Unfortunately he said no, which is whatever to me but my wife on the other hand wasn't so happy about it.
Now my wife is claiming that its unfair treatment that he would help one of us siblings out but not the other. I reminded her that he had helped me out in other ways in the past, but regardless, it's a deal my dad made with my brother and as far as im concerned its absolutely none of my business. Just because my dad helped out my brother doesnt mean im entitled to any money whatsoever.
I may be a little harsh but i keep telling my wife she's acting entitled and selfish to expect someone to loan us their hard earned money and now we're in a big fight over it because that type of mindset is, in my opinion, so juvenile and immature. She is claiming she's not acting entitled but she thinks its a great injustice that we aren't being gifted some money. I'm sorry but in my book, thats entitlement.
So, am I the asshole for not agreeing with my wife and telling her that she (we) have no right to feel entitled to anyone's money?
tl:dr- My wife feels it's unfair that my father helped my brother out financially several years ago, but wont give us a small loan to help to buy a house and I told her she's acting entitled to my fathers money. AITA for calling her out on it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
bEyHodajCWBQgtCwkPbzcmGVXmh978Eo | av406v | {
"description": "having enough with my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for having enough with my coworker? | Here is a little background:
My coworker and I share an office that is just the two of us most days. I try my hardest to be quiet and respectful since she is technically the office manager. Our doors are always open and the walls are thin. When I started here several months back things were great. I tried to be considerate and so did she.... but she has stopped caring it seems.
She hums loudly, takes big poos in our communal bathrooom but doesn't use air freshener that's sitting beside the toilet, yells things to me when she knows I have earphones in and won't just walk to my office, cranks up her heater to an uncomfortable temperature and refuses to wear layers because "I don't like to," and clears her throat every two minutes because she is drying out the air with her heater.
I have sensory sensitivity issues. Sound, touch, and smell mostly. I can't help it. I've told her this and there are little things she could do to help, but she won't. I know I can't expect everyone to accommodate me and make things completely comfortable just for me. But I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.... I really try to do my best at being a good office mate.
Anyway, today at the end of lunch, she was humming some irritating tune of a genre of music I loathe. She's been doing this so much along with everything else and with my anxiety, I felt like I'd had enough. I can't focus with this going on and it makes my skin crawl.
I approached things in the most light hearted way I could figure. As she walked past my office, I said, "Coworker, I'm so glad you love your music, but I really don't. (Chuckled here) So could you not sing it?"
She froze in place and just stared at me with her mouth open. Eventually she said in a dismissive tone, "Pffft. Girl, I wasn't even singing that loud!" She went out of the building, checked the mail, then walked back in, still humming loudly.
Am I the asshole? Am I asking too much?! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lKOqSkk75tcjBlzXvkWEW4JkXh656E24 | b0ba0l | {
"description": "telling his wife that he's having an affair",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA If I tell his wife that he’s having an affair? | My friend is having an affair with a married man. Normally I don’t get in the middle of these things...but I’ve been growing increasingly sympathetic and empathetic for his wife. I don’t know the woman, but my friend has said that this man talks highly about her and said she’s a great person but he’s not in love with her. But he won’t leave her until he has someone else to jump into it with. My friend thinks that he’s going to leave his wife for her (maybe he will). Friend says how great of a guy he is, but he’s also telling my friend all the intimate details of this poor woman’s life. The ways she’s struggling, things that she confided in her husband in her weakest moments. She’s also incredibly suspicious, but he covers all his tracks really well (seems like this isn’t his first affair honestly) and tells her that she’s crazy. This is the worst part to me. I mean, all of it is terrible. But it’s like he’s gaslighting her also, making her question her instincts. If I were in her position, I would want someone to tell me. But I know it’s not really my position...I’ve been struggling with this for months. I know I’ll be the asshole, but should I still say something? The only thing keeping me from saying something is my friend, despite this, she actually is a good person and is struggling in her own way and I think she’s being just as manipulated. But does any of this give me a right to essentially ruin people’s lives? Please be as kind as possible, this really is a difficult situation for me. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
toopqRyI5JJPWMKTLlJfkFsVf4T2RfQ4 | b7x3z6 | {
"description": "not watching a show my sister likes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not watching a show my sister likes | My sister has been obsessed with this one show and I'll listen to her talk about and everything but I can't watch it. It's extremely boring and annoying to me personally. I've told her several times that I don't want to watch it and she just doesn't stop trying to force me to. Most recently she took away the dip for the chips we we're both eating and enjoying in an attempted to get me to give in and watch it. So I left. She's tried to blackmail me and guilt trip me in the past to watch other things she was obsessed with and I wasn't willing to entertain it tonight so I told her I was done hanging out for tonight and left.
She said that I'm being rude by leaving and that I do this all the time and she would watch whatever show to spend more time with me. I don't think that's entirely true though. I have started doing that more as I've started to value my time more but I'd happily spend time with her if it was something we both enjoyed doing. I wouldn't force anyone to do something I found fun but they didn't, I'd just find something we both wanted to do if I wanted to hangout with them. I also wouldn't get upset if she didn't want to watch one of my shows, that would be unfair because I know she isn't interested in them.
(Sorry for any typos, I think faster than I type and I'm on mobile which doesn't help much) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
956NBuN5LjLJhCHv5A7wjKMlYTvbqO3W | 9u27kf | null | AITA Girlfriend sharing her sex life with coworker | So my girlfriend of about 6 months started to work at a restaurant and about 3 weeks In get hit on by a coworker. The coworker then proceeds to tell my girlfriend that he has bondage rope and is into bdsm (after my girlfriend said she was too and explained what categories of BDSM she enjoyed). He then tells her that he is a "BDSM coach" and can teach her a few knots and tricks if she's willing to go to his place. I tell her to tell him that she has a boyfriend and back off but refuses to tell him because she didnt want to mix coworkers into her life. I was content with it somewhat, until he starts buying her drinks and constantly trying to coax her into coming over. She never saw this as anything harmful, or didnt see him as hitting on her. I completely thought otherwise and started an argument. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3CPCTh4GQl4TpyQppdXAOIqNGV4Q7f6I | 9z61yl | {
"description": "leaving a girl because of her sexual past",
"pronormative_score": 87,
"contranormative_score": 105
} | AITA for leaving a girl because of her sexual past? | My now ex and I had been together for 8 months. We never had sex. Yesterday I broke up with her after learning about her past. She was a bit of a party girl in college and ended up sleeping with a few guys. By her count it's 8 guys but could be as high as 15. I've slept with 2. She said I was slut shaming and an asshole, now a few of my friends say the same thing. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 105,
"OTHER": 84,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 87,
"WRONG": 105
} | WRONG |
rRQr3Oky9dirRYdirx0f4pwfVLFbuDYt | ba7jg9 | {
"description": "telling my cousin's ex-boyfriend that she had his baby without telling him",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I told my cousin’s ex-boyfriend that she had his baby without telling him? | No matter what, this situation is going to get messy. TLDR at the bottom.
For context, my (23F) cousin (25f) has a lot of issues. She has always been a pathological liar, has trouble making decisions and being responsible, etc.
About a year ago, my cousin was sleeping with multiple people. I have absolutely no issue with that, she was not in any official relationships. She ended up becoming more serious with one of the dudes, and became monogamous.
Shortly after, it was revealed that she was pregnant. Her boyfriend wanted to take responsibility, and asked her to move in and marry him. They ended up getting married near the end of her pregnancy.
Here’s the tricky part. We discussed it near the middle of her pregnancy, and she told me that she had narrowed it down to 2 potential baby daddies - one of them (husband) is white, the other is Asian. She is also white. She also told me (keep in mind - pathological liar) that both guys were informed and amicable, and the hospital had done a ‘blood typing’ test but it was inconclusive because both guys have the same blood type. Firstly.. not sure that’s a thing? And secondly, they would not casually do a paternity test on a fetus, it is very dangerous.
My brand new nephew is less than a month old. When he was born, it seemed very unlikely that he was white. To be fair, all babies look like little aliens, and often skin tone changes drastically. However, we have had Japanese, Korean, and Chinese people note that he looks specifically Chinese (which is where potential baby daddy’s family is from) - I feel like folks with Asian backgrounds would be able to tell better than my white family.
My cousin’s sister, who I am very close with, and I have been very torn. We both want what’s best, and do not want to cause a divorce/etc for my cousin. However, we feel it is her husband’s right to know, as he will figure it out eventually, and it is the birth father’s right to know that he has a baby out there.
I don’t want to betray my cousin’s trust, but at the same time I would not technically be at fault because she has explicitly told us, multiple times, that everyone is aware and amicable. I want to be proactive as I feel like the situation will get worse, the longer that time goes on and it becomes more obvious that the child is not white. I feel the bio dad is missing out on an important time in the baby’s life. If it makes a difference, I am quite confident my cousin will reach out to him for child support, if her husband leaves her.
WIBTA for casually mentioning the situation in front of the husband, perhaps by noting it is admirable he has stuck around? And WIBTA for anonymously contacting the baby daddy and letting him know about the situation?
TLDR: White cousin has just birthed Asian baby. Husband is white. Should I tell husband and baby daddy what’s going on? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
NtIsJ5Ck58E8EEecInbjI9IFoHNKnuDK | b14wjc | {
"description": "asking my ex to sext",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA for asking my ex to sext? | We were serious for about 2 years, we still talk a bit on snapchat. She's always flirty and casually sends pics emphasizing her cleavage and whatnot- it turns me on. I *would* just go for it but I don't wanna play with her heart- she still asks for me back and I feel like if we did something sexual she would tie meaning to it even if it was explicitly stated that we aren't getting back together. WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
ucyKShnIEJ72lWv7ywbzHgxaXxRTmvaA | anmrsi | {
"description": "bluntly suggesting my friend switch electives",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for bluntly suggesting my friend switch electives? | Basically he seemed pretty excited to audition for the first play we did this year, then was disappointed when he landed a role as pretty much a background extra, even though he had the option to quit, he instead chose to continue through with it, complaining the whole time, and being disrespectful to the theatre teacher. A couple of times I got annoyed with it and suggested for him to quit, as he didn't seem happy with it. He continued through with his ways and it got to the point where the theatre teacher talked to me privately about him, asking if he was okay as he always seemed to not follow the stage directions and loudly talk backstage, being rude and giving attitude to the others actors.
It all seemed to go away until recently when we we're hanging up pictures of the show and one showed a blatant sign that seemed to make a joke of the whole image. I was only a little bit annoyed, yet our theatre teacher seemed in distress about it. I go in and see him freaking out about it like he's worried he's gonna get in trouble when he has never even been punished, as our theatre teacher is rather elderly and kind. He seems to not feel a hint of guilt about doing it, which made me lash out at him, blunting telling him to switch electives next year as with our next theatre teacher I guarantee the shit won't fly. He looks at me with a shocked face as I walked away, and later in the day refused to talk to me saying that what I said hurt his feelings and was rude. This happened a week ago, and on Monday he called me an asshole, promptly pissing me off to call him a coward for not apologizing.
I've looked at this from every angle and can't see how exactly I could be the asshole, but I guess I could be wrong. Sorry for the long post.
TL;DR friend was being a dick in theatre, I eventually got sick of it and told him he shouldn't be in theatre, now he won't talk to me and thinks I'm an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ctbMn9O8TVWPg8AfsQ279jyEAbQ8jlUH | avu6qx | {
"description": "ditching my friend group for a new one",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I ditched my friend group for a new one. (Read all, context required) | On mobile, sorry for format/spelling problems
So basically I’ve been friends with this group of people (excluding one) for about 6 years. They’re kind of the weirdo group in my school rn. Now in my last school, I was exclusively part of this friend group, mostly because I didn’t get along with the rest of the class. Now I’ve moved into secondary school and I get along well with 75% of the people in my year but still I stuck with these friends as well as hanging around with some other people.
Fast forward to now: I am far more involved in some other friend groups, some of the people in OG group I dislike, others have just intensified in their weirdness and I can’t keep up. I’m going to give you a picture of this friend group. Ordering them from my favourite to least favourite:
1: There’s not a lot to say about him other than he gets along well with the OG friend group and he’s gay and I’m gay too (that’s relevant later)
2: This guy, this fucking guy, in the past he was fucking nuts. He slapped my ass and then couldn’t see what was wrong with it. (He’s done worse) The others knew it disgusted me and freaked me out but all told me I was overreacting. He’s calmed down recently and he’s surprisingly my second fave.
3: this guy, mostly okay. talked shit about one of my friends all the time. Like, ughhhh. And he also was quite weird. Told weird lies and made weirder jokes.
4: This guy, he has some mental health issues. The most concerning being depression. at it’s worst I had many sleepless nights talking him down and after he says he’s changed his mind lying in bed hoping I’d see him in school tomorrow. He’s also super outspoken about unpopular opinions. He makes racist jokes and is always putting anti-trans memes on him snapchat story. He also ran around town screaming racist shit on more than one occasion
5: Then there’s this one, he was homophobic, always excluded me, was constantly rude and condescending but he conveniently forgot that no. 1 was bi. They all kind of vouched for him even though he said, word for word, “ This is why I’m homophobic”, the all heard but “he’s sometimes fun” even no. 1 sticks up for him.
There are some other less relevant characters in this group but there’d be no difference in our friendship if I ditched the group. I might see a little less of person 1 but I could deal with that.
There would be no grand departure, I’d just slowly phase my way out. If something went sour with the new group I’d always be welcomed back but ATM I would rather just be a loner. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
NQCrs2C7tzAAYw41VWXdlKmC2AsVHZcQ | akvagc | {
"description": "being upset at bf for smoking in the bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset at bf for smoking in the bedroom | This is gonna be short and probably is minor but I’m currently sleeping on the couch cause of it. My bf smokes black and milds and I hate the smell and it gives me a headache. Cigarette and black smoke both do this to me.
I’ve asked him not to. He just gets frustrated and is like “this is my room just as much as it is yours” and “i just wanna play my video game, smoke a cigar and then go to bed”, if i ask him to go to the living room to play/ smoke. also, if he smokes in the room it sticks and makes EVERYTHING even the bedsheets smell. It’s so irritating but he doesn’t care. So AITA or should I keep pushing him to smoke elsewhere. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WYc7bj6ZybTuDIT35XMUciAjAZF0S3s2 | a1mwsr | {
"description": "getting excited about traveling and getting a tattoo",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting excited about traveling and getting a tattoo? | My gf was under the impression that the first time I'll be traveling will be with her. However I recently got the chance to travel with work, and I got excited about going 2 days ahead with the guys. I feel bad because she felt bad about it, it didn't occur to me how badly and emotionally it meant for her.
Another thing is that I really like tattoos but she hates them, and arw a turn off for her. I'm planning on getting one during the trip I just mentioned above.
I feel like an a**hole, but at the same time these are things that I like yet I feel guilty that I feel that way. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1pXkuF4OjzC1GDv8OM3qTaqEsFEqDeQn | b84xxt | {
"description": "going to my sister's dream school when she just got rejected",
"pronormative_score": 1234,
"contranormative_score": 45
} | AITA for going to my sister’s dream school when she just got rejected? | So, I got into Cornell last week. Honestly I think it was fluke. I’m not smart, at all. I got a 28 ACT, a decent GPA (because my school grade inflates considerably). I had some decent extracurriculars but nothing remotely competitive enough to get me to a school like Cornell. But anyways...
My twin sister is the opposite of me. She’s a GENIUS, she has way more impressive stats (34 ACT and she only took it once, compared to my 3 times), she has way better grades, way cooler extracurriculars. Everyone always looked up to her as the smart one. I didn’t and still don’t mind, it’s true. The only reason I can fathom I got in and she didn’t is that she applied to the engineering college while I applied to Arts and Sciences (I don’t know if too many of you guys are familiar with Cornell, but they have a bunch of different colleges you can apply to, each with their different admission criteria).
Well last week, decisions for ivies came out. Unfortunately for my sister, she didn’t get into a single one, including her first choice (Cornell). She checked as SOON as it was available and called me bawling. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay, that who cares what school you go to, that she was brilliant and was going to be successful no matter where she goes.
Well anyways, I pretty much resolved that I was getting rejected, so I didn’t even bother to look at my email until later that night. Well, I guess surprises do happen sometime, because I’m a Cornellian. I got in. I just don’t know how but I did.
I really want to go guys. But this would devastate my sister. All week she’s been crying and solemn and sad. She’s been angry at her friends who got into top schools (especially the ones with lower stats). She’s decided to go to NYU, but she just hasn’t been herself. I haven’t told our parents (I think they assumed I didn’t get in because she didn’t).
Am I being selfish? Should I just go with her to NYC? We always thought we were going to school together but like... it’s Cornell. I couldn’t in a million years imagine I’d get in. I’ve been researching obsessively about it and I can’t shake the desire that if I don’t go, I’ll regret it. Ithaca looks beautiful, it’s a small town (which I would LOVE to get away with from the huge city that is New York). It seems like a dream opportunity.
Am I being a bad sister? I KNOW she would be upset; we were supposed to go to school together. It would crush her. I really don’t have anyone else to talk to :(. AITA for going to her dream school? Especially considering how much harder she’s worked compared to me...
TLDR: dumb sister (me) gets into Cornell. Smart sister didn’t. She’s depressed. It was her first choice. I want to go tho. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 656,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 578,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1234,
"WRONG": 45
} | RIGHT |
QEDNXHc8Q6SZVfsULKRQzLUeohaI6ldD | azj36q | {
"description": "changing my mind about shared flat",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for changing my mind about shared flat? | It's kind of a long story.
Me and my friends were planning to get a shared flat together after high school ended. One of said friends ended up asking someone else(m), if he wanted to join the flat. The guy agreed. Said friend didn't ask for permission to ask and I chickened out about voicing my discomfort about that(I was against him in the flat).
Fast forward to me not wanting to be in the flat anymore, chickening out about saying that, getting severe depression(not just because of the flat thing) and general mental problems. Friends start pressuring me for the apartment search, I end up getting along but not going to the sighting. My sister is also in the friend group aka the flat which is going to become revelant later. Because I was the only one who worked aka wasn't supported by her parents, I asked for the smallest room, my sister would be sharing with someone and I would pay her rent for the first months till she got a job too.
Fast forward to them getting the flat, me and my sister taking longer to move in because of family issues. I go to visit the flat and discover that my room is 7m2 "big", and with a layout that makes even putting a bed into it dubious. Thing is, I still pay 250€ for a room that can barely fit my bed and a few clothes at most. Friends pay about 300-350 for 15-17m2 rooms.
I snap and just decide fuck it, tell them I'm out and then hash out the details with them, that is still paying part of the rent (which I'm okay with, because I'm the one who pulled out and need to take responsibility and they all have their money limit already pretty stretched). Of course I tell them the reason why, with the "I don't want the guy in the flat" thing out. My sister still hasn't moved in because she kept procrastrinating till something important in her school came up that made her unable to move. I still pay her rent of 350 plus the added 150. Sister keeps procrastrinating till deciding that she's not going to move in, and doesn't bother getting a job and basically just fucks with me (a whole other story). So basically my friends are kind of disappointed, I made it pretty clear to them I'm not going to move in, it's been several months of me paying 500 for literally nothing. I decide fuck it, at least I want to get something out of the money and decide that I'm just going to move in despite severe discomfort.
Then the guy finds a couple who would move in, I discard my "plan". A few days later they find out that won't move in, so basically the "room"(aka living room), would be free again. I decide, once again, fuck it, and this time say I would move in. The guy responds with visible bad mood and asks me why I haven't said that earlier, I tell him why. He said that I would have to either share a room with someone or use the little room.
AITA for changing my mind about moving in? Also AITA for being kinda frustrated that I wouldn't get to move in the "room"/living room despite paying almost double of everyone else? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
nHba3RP3G4lv3JEFwgxaTEIqiQLsGEaW | b71z7m | {
"description": "telling my introverted sister my nephew is undersocialized",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my introverted sister my nephew is undersocialized? | For reference, my sister is 29,, I'm 25M, and my nephew is 7M.
So, growing up, my sister, let's call her Caroline, grew up with two extroverted, high achieving parents. And they wanted us to be just like them, putting us into sports, instrument lessons, reading groups, martial arts, etc. Personally, I enjoyed that busy lifestyle. But it wasn't for Caroline. She didn't like being busy, she doesn't like interacting with people, etc. She's super shy. It took a while for my parents to understand and accept that she wasn't the type. But when she had her son, let's call him Kainen, she told me she didn't want to put him in activities because she didn't want him to suffer. I pointed out some kids enjoy activities/sports/are extroverts, like me, and some people are introverts and don't like activities, like her. So she should put him in some stuff, see if he enjoys it, and act accordingly. She kind of brushed me off.
In the years since then, it's become kind of an issue between the two of us. Kainen doesn't play any sports, isn't playing any instruments, and since he was never exposed to other kids before school started, he has trouble making friends. I talk to him regularly about this, and he always says he wants friends, wants to play baseball and do swimming, and that he asks his mom but she doesn't let him.
So over the years I've really confronted her about this, but she just calls me out for 'undermining her parenting'. I just want Kainen to, y'know, be involved in activities and make friends.
Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
soKWOFcXQDGVMZLI1FVCZlD0rgDbKkXy | b93q4s | {
"description": "not letting my cat go outside",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting my cat go outside? | Me and my cat have been together for about 14 years. She is a really sweet thing, very smart and quite lively despite her age. She has always been an indoors cat.
First of all, I have to clarify that the place we live is really not safe for outdoors pets as there are a lot of strays in the streets and people drive like crazy. However, she doesn’t seem to get that, and she loves exploring. She is always trying to escape when someone walks in and she even figured out how to open the door. She has succeeded a few times too, sometimes she came back, others I was looking for her for hours, got her down from trees etc. Last year when I was out of the country, my dad did not pay enough attention, she escaped and was missing for a month and a half. I was trying to cope with the loss, when out of the blue and after some funny life coincidences, I found her. The little shit had relocated to a friend’s house a few blocks away!
After that, I took even more measures around the house to ensure she won’t escape again, locking doors, put bars at the windows etc. I am only letting her have supervised walks in the garden, but that’s not enough for her! Tried a leash too but it didn’t work out. She is always looking outside the window with a depressed look, meowing all the time and it really makes me feel like a jerk and an oppressor. People tell me that I should just let her out, that cats are supposed to roam and hunt, but I just love her too much to risk her getting hurt or losing her again.
So AITA for keeping my cat inside against her wishes? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
abra8VCcBCggdReCawwEIyvdudIXizQw | 9w9gc9 | {
"description": "joking about a customer refusing to even try to put stuff back on the shelf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for joking about a customer refusing to even try to put stuff back on the shelf? | Stocking a shelf at work. The shelf has slots for each item and a retracting panel behind the items to automatically push them forward. They require minimal effort to push back and put an item in, but some customers refuse to do the absolute bare minimum and if the item doesn't magically push in with so little force you couldn't even knock over an empty tin can, they give up entirely.
A woman takes an item, taps it against the shelf with no effort, and puts it down on the shelf below, where it does not belong. I take it and put it back on the shelf.
I step away to stock something else, and I come back. She has another variety of the same item, taps it against the shelf with no effort again, and sets it down on the shelf.
Normally this shit really aggravates me because it's unacceptable laziness on the shopper's part and I consider it incredibly rude to just throw things wherever you like. Especially if I'm standing right there, trying to make the shelf look nice. Just ask if you need help, or put in the effort to put it back.
But I'm trying lately to be more verbal with customers, I don't usually try to talk to them. A coworker "messes with" customers and they usually really go for it. These people seemed nice, so when I put the second one back, I said "oh, you missed twice! :P", ribbing the woman for not putting the item on the shelf, twice, and me catching her and correcting her, twice. I say this as I'm taking things to the back.
She responds "Yep! \*\*Twice!\*\*" in a very fierce way, and I was not looking at her but I imagine she said it with an angry stepford smile and wide eyes. Her husband immediately states behind me "If you don't like your job, work a different one, asshole!" which I go wide-eyed at but completely ignore and go hide in the back.
I think I mistook what was really "I have no respect for other people and don't clean up after myself" for "oh gosh I can't get it back on the shelf, silly me" (even though she clearly wasn't trying), and that's why they got so upset. They were being defensive.
It's kind of eating at me, though. :( Is it really me who is the asshole to call someone out- even jokingly- on making the store a messier place? I mean, who does that? Just leaves things wherever they want? Do good people do that? I think it's a fair assumption that people who do that so flippantly- as to do it \*twice\*, in front of an employee, after already being caught doing it- are not good people, but I figured ribbing them for it might make them laugh and reconsider their behavior. Guess not... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
u5VHbsq5IgdC3VWrk5517dxHJVoBQmJY | avrq9g | {
"description": "not tipping my so when he serves me at his restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not tipping my SO when he serves me at his restaurant? | For context, he works at a small ritzy place that dies out around 7:30-8pm most weekday nights. He and I are both servers for the same chain, just different locations.
Some nights after class I’ll metro over and go see him, and because I’m an employee at the same chain I get 50% off. I can get a burger/fries for 4 bucks on a Wednesday night (they’re already half off these nights, burgers are 14-18 bucks normally).
I come after my 8pm class, so he’ll usually have one table or so left. I’ll sit either at the bar or one of his tables and he’ll grab me a drink/put my order in. That’s it though.
I’ll even bus my own table at the end. He knows he doesn’t have to wait on me, I can just chill out while he works.
He says I don’t have to tip- and I know if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t want him tipping me either. At the same time, something deep down I can’t shake is telling me I’m the asshole. If I tipped him I wouldn’t want to be cheap, and I’d tip on the full amount before the half off. Only thing is most nights I’m not prepared to spend too much on dinner by going out (I’m trying to save), and I feel weird giving him money when this has become a weekly thing.
AITA for not tipping my SO when he serves me at his restaurant? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
yFTJk4r7mYcmIomu0XV25NxFnhDH52fQ | ad0892 | {
"description": "outing my friends behavior in the group",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for outing my friends behavior in the group? | Beware of drama. We used to have a tight group of friends in our hometown, but since the last year it fell a little apart. One of the guys has some anger and behavior issues, and over the years has been involved in fights with individuals from the group. To distance myself from this behavior, I stopped inviting him for activities. He obviously has some friends backing him up, but others didn’t, agreeing with my point of view. We slowly turned into a small group within a group. Last week, one of the other guys mentioned that he feels that the group is falling apart, and that it came to his ears that we have a separate chat. Though this went quit natural, I took part of the responsibility, by mentioning (outing) that I was sick of this one guys anger and behavior issues, and that as long as people don’t have any morals and values belonging to a friendship, I don’t longer see them as friends. Now I am the “pathetic, behind the back, hypocrit asshole that will have a hard time success in life” according to this one guy, and all the others don’t want to choose sides. Reddit, AITA for being honest?
Please feel free to share similar experiences or tell me that I am wrong. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
k0jVmsjUMsTVyVP9Pkj7MuQTnmq68awR | airl2c | null | AITA Horrible "step-mom" took my tv from someone I gifted it to without asking me (first world problem) | I want to clarify that this is a very complex and personal situation, she is basically a very bad person (and she is my brother's mother, who she abandoned when he was a kid to go enjoy her life with another guy), objectively, and my dad is careful having her in our house and basically has her because if he didn't she would have cut ties completely with my brother. (My bro and I have the same dad and different mom, and I live with my dad for some time and with my mom another period of time, basically split time).
So she has done many changes in general that annoy me and I haven't spoken out, but what she did was so asshole-ish that I could not keep it in.
When I was about 7 my grandma got me a 3d tv for Christmas, last year my dad got me a new one since the last one I had started to get old, so instead of storing it, I happily gifted it to a couple that works in our house (maid and cook), I gave it to them so they can put it in their room because they did not have one.
Last week when I went downstairs to our gym to workout, I saw that she had moved all my stuff into a corner and replaced the positioning of my elliptical with the treadmill (which she only uses), she basically put the treadmill in front of a table, and what I found out was that she took the TV from the people that work in our house, and she put it in our gym so she can watch tv while walking on the treadmill.
She had no plans of giving them a new TV, she just stole my television (that my grandma had gifted me) from the people I gave it to, without asking me to take it, with no plans of replacing their tv.
I got furious when I saw what happened and unplugged the TV and took it back to the couple and explained what had happened and had to convince them to keep it because they were scared she would get mad. I explained the situation to my dad and he did not really seem to care and was like "I can just get a new one, no big deal"
But when she saw that I took it back to them she started shouting at me and started a whole fight with me, and has since tried to use other people into guilting me over into giving it back to her and she has even complained to my dad for my "horrible and disrespectful actions against her", my dad basically gives zero fucks about the situation, but I basically have a fight with her every day. I don't want to give her the TV back, not because I need it or something or because I don't like here, but because I think what she did was very asshole-ish, she basically took the TV that my grandmother bought me when I was younger (she has slapped my grandma in the past btw) that I had given to others as a gift.She is too lazy and stingy to get a new one (trust me, she can) and I don't want HER to have it. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fLSCKPKCwfoTrCeMKXLBD2x9iDN4W9v7 | 9uaj21 | {
"description": "not filling up some guys gas can",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not filling up some guys gas can? | I live in a fairly rural town, but our population is growing rapidly. We have one gas station, which used to be sufficient, but now it is always crowded. Particularly around 5pm when most people finish work, you could easily wait 20 minutes to fill up your car.
Anyway, I waited my turn and started filling up my car. A man approaches me (Im a 23 year old female) holding one of those red gas containers that you might use to fill up a lawnmower. He explains that he’s in a hurry to fill up and get home to his kids, and would I mind filling up his container. The way he phrased it implied he wanted me to fill it up while my credit card was still loaded on the gas pump. I explained that my car takes premium gas, which is very expensive, and politely refused. He got super angry and said something along the lines of “if you can afford a car that takes premium gas, you can afford an extra gallon to fill up my tank.”
Anyway, I refuse again, and then he says, “fine, I’ll just put my card in when you’re done.” However, there’s like 6 cars waiting in line to fill up. I told him he needed to wait, because there were other people in line. He was so mad and told me I was the reason he wouldn’t be able to say goodnight to his kids.
I felt really bad. What he was asking seemed unfair, but maybe the expectation was that I help him out since we live in a small town? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KRygzfzhm8SWHTrcNgSZnPWaMYJHfmRG | awol9z | {
"description": "going against my parent's wishes",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going against my parent's wishes? | Before I dive in, I want to let it be known that I am a working adult who is a college graduate. However I'm not happy with my lifestyle and what I really want to do is live and work overseas. My parents know what I really want but are against this and want me to stay home with them or at least somewhere close by, especially my mother. I am their only child and my parents are old, almost 70 years old. We also don't have family in the states to count on; they all live in different countries. My mom really wants me to be near so I can help out with the house and generally be there to help take care of things. And I really love my parents - they've done everything for me so it's not like they are mean or abusive. I just have another agenda for the way I want to live my life and I feel so conflicted.
​
I've also been filled with envy over the few friends who have been able to live abroad. It's made me into such a bitter and jaded person. I found myself thinking they are so lucky to have a sibling who can stay home with their parents while they can be free and about. And I feel horrible for thinking this way.
​
I feel like the decision should be obvious. My parents gave me everything so now I should return the favor and make their lives easier.
​
All my life I've been bouncing from job to job and haven't found anything stable so I wouldn't be someone you would call "successful" or "well-off" but I feel it's because I haven't been able to situate myself with what I really want to do. And the combination of guilt and feeling empty is just killing me.
​
I thought about talking with my friends about this but I really need to hear the cold truth about my situation and not some pretty words to make me feel better so give it to me, Reddit. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9Q8LKS1kKO32RNrCuK3N2boxGLYMCAnX | anry40 | {
"description": "going to happy hour while my SO sat at home with a broken ankle",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for going to happy hour while my SO sat at home with a broken ankle? | We have had some pretty awful weather recently and Monday evening my boyfriend slipped on the ice right after we were involved in a minor car accident and broke his ankle. He stayed home from work yesterday so he was unaware of the road conditions.
I left work an hour early to go home and take care of him, however the shuttle ride to my car from my work which usually takes 10 minutes took over an hour due to snow and traffic, so I was naturally frustrated. In the past when the weather is this bad, waiting until rush hour is over is both less stressful and safer. So, I decided to meet a friend for happy hour about halfway between work and home. I was there for 45 min and I got home at 7 o'clock because it still took me an hour to get home when it is usually a 15-20 min drive.
When I got home, he was mad and felt like I didn't care that he was hurt and he needed my help. I tried to explain to him that my intentions were good and it was beyond my control but he is not having it.
AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
gyHfaxyYmvxUMAFUBKOABCy7IAlCttIK | a4ege3 | {
"description": "sending my daughters food back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA if I sent my daughters food back? | Earlier at lunch my daughter got shrimp tacos expecting standard tortilla lettuce and shrimp but it had shredded cabbage and cottage cheese or something and I thought about sending it back for the simpler version she wanted. I didn't because I didn't in case that an asshole move but it go me wondering | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
E0rUEeZFF4TtTrvBiY1xqXyxjsxrFbsE | asj70p | {
"description": "not letting someone borrow my calculator during an exam",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting someone borrow my calculator during an exam? | I just discovered this subreddit and hope this fits here, I’ve been thinking about it for the past two days.
So some context; I’m in my final semester in college and really ready to graduate. At this point I’m really frustrated with the university, the professors, and most of my fellow students. The one sitting next to me knew there was an exam on Monday, we spent all class on Friday reviewing for it. We are in the 5th week of the 15 week long semester and this person, who sits next to me, is often late, has headphones in, and browses their phone/computer most of the class time.
This was our first exam and the math was very basic, but a calculator would still make it easier (only 6 math problems with 6 digit division, 20 multiple choice). I did the math part right away then went back to do the multiple choice. As I was reading the final question this kid asks to borrow my calculator and I just give a quick “no” back, turned my exam in 30 seconds later and left.
So am I the asshole? I just feel at this level college course you should be more on top of things. There’s only 4 exams, you should really know when they are. If he had asked me earlier I would have no issue letting him use the calculator, but I was pretty stressed out because I had multiple other classes to work on and had to work tonight, meaning I had less time than I had planned for my work. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
f2ftnZ3en3SQQCLX41tZRxQBzmrx66ef | ahn73t | {
"description": "not stopping a drunk girl from making out with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not stopping a drunk girl from making out with me? | So last night I got drunk at a friends house. It was just a small group of us, around 7 people. One of the girls there is one of my close friends now. We’ve gotten closer because we’ve realized we are just a male and female version of each other. I think she’s cute but I don’t see her as anything other than one of my best friends now. She’s also a lesbian so even if I did, nothing could happen.
Now last night we finally got drunk together, we were excited because we’ve talked about drinking together. We got pretty shitfaced really fast.
Now I’m quite the loving guy when drunk (I always ask first if I can give a hug though, can’t be making people uncomfortable) so I was giving out hugs to all my friends last night and telling them why they’re great, including her.
Now here’s where it gets to the asshole territory. We were sitting on the couch behind everyone else, talking about relationships and shit. Earlier that night when I was more sober she tried to kiss me and I was like “yooo can’t do that my dude”.
So while we were on the couch she was like “I really wanna makeout with someone” and I was like “I mean you could call (insert girls name who she has a thing with)”
Then she started making out with me. I made no moves while she leaned on top of me. I felt nothing and she didn’t either, it was just the act. But I didn’t stop her despite her being drunk as well. I did end up feeling her ass though because I was curious and I did kiss her neck because she asked me if I was actually good at it. It wasn’t awkward or anything, it was just two friends seeing each other skills to be honest. We just asked each other for tips on it.
But I didn’t stop her when she made out with me even though she was drunk. am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qGwAwok5JP40t5H8EkR0BKUYoUoRRoNt | 9wr7ay | {
"description": "not trying to fix a broken friendship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not trying to fix a broken friendship? | To preface this, I have severe depression, and have few friends, and of those friends there was only one I trusted with anything to do with my depression. The other day I was struggling with it, and texted him about it, and he told me that all I ever do is complain even though my life isnt so bad, and I'm always inconsiderate of him. I didnt respond, gave myself a few days to clear my head, and realized that I dont really want to fix a friendship with somebody who thinks that about me. Problem is I've been storing my computer at his house due to unrelated reasons, which led to this conversation
Me: I'll come over sunday to get my computer
Him: so you have no desire to fix our friendship
Me: I think it's best for both of us if I distance myself for now
Him: Distance yourself from what
So this says to me so this says to me that our friendship means so little to you that you have no desire to try and fix it
Me: I'm trying to figure out how to explain this without hurting any feelings but dammit it's not easy. To put it bluntly you dont believe in depression, and it's impossible to make any progress with depression if your support system doesnt believe in depression
Him: You're absolutely right however if you really believe I don't believe in depression then you don't know me at all and you're right we should just end this now. Goodbye Panda
Me: From everything you've said it sounds like you dont, what really ended up getting me was "your lifes not that bad" when that really doesnt have much to do with it
Him: You're right however you should also understand that I was in a pretty rough space that day and pretty angry. And I don't believe that the fates are against you however I have never said that I didn't think you were depressed I know you're depressed I've worked very hard at trying to support you and getting help. But I guess that doesn't matter
Me: It's not the first time you've said something like that that's bothered me, I just kept my mouth shut because i didnt want to hurt your feelings. That being said I would be willing to be more considerate of you, but you have to put in the effort too. I know I should be considering how your doing more, that's something I need to work on, but it's up to you
Him: The problem Panda is because you haven't told me when I said things that bothered you I don't know when it is so now you're going to ask me to be considerate when I don't know when it's been bothering you so then I'm going to not be considerate cuz I don't know and we're going to be right back to where we started
Me: Would you like me to start pointing them out? Cause I can, I just dont like to make people feel bad about things they've said
Him: Honestly at this point I don't know if this friendship is salvageable.
The reality of the situation to me cuz I expressed myself in a way that was a little harsh however it still holds true that I feel like you don't really care about my feelings or what's going on with me. And your response is to one put that second to your own concerns belittle me for not caring about you and then putting conditions on trying to fix our relationship
Me: That's not what I was suggesting. Both issues are equally important to me, but if that's how you see it then so be it
Him: I really don't think you understand what I'm saying or that you don't care to understand what I'm saying I don't know what it is.
Me: Funny I'm getting the same impression from you.
Him: I don't see anything funny about this
Me: So nothings changed. I'll pick up my computer on sunday.
Him: No something has changed I will meet you somewhere with your computer I do not want you at my house again | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
VEoEIJB0knbdhtDQ0lfTzLkjMkZkpQJ9 | a58ouc | {
"description": "keeping a package that I never paid for that I mistakenly was sent from a locally owned store",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for keeping a package that I never paid for that I mistakenly was sent from a locally owned store? | I mistakenly received a package from a locally owned business (not a corporate store think mom and pop shop) worth around $250. I did not pay for or order this item. I have ordered similar items online from them in the past and that is probably why they have my address and cause of the mixup. AITA for not returning it and pretending like it never happened? There is a significant chance they never find out it was sent to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
IzPFxQo9qNu1CJs2MpxDn3Qg0GN2BeIv | b4p7kk | {
"description": "firing an employee for smoking weed",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for firing an employee for smoking weed? | I'm the founder/CIO (chief investment officer) of a prop shop (what we do is prop, or proprietary, trading, which means we're trading stocks using our own money rather than using money given by clients).
I dislike bureaucracy since I think it's inefficient, so I run it with a few simple rules. Rule #3 is, no trading while on any drugs, aside from coffee. I think it's a pretty obvious rule. Don't trade stocks while you're under the influence of anything, because that has the potential to dull your judgement.
Some time ago, one of my traders caught another, let's call him Victor, smoking weed in his office while trading, and came to me. I didn't want to act on word of mouth, so I had his office searched, and sure enough there was some weed there. Seeing this, I fired Victor on the spot.
After this, Victor sends me an angry email, saying I was being a dick and unfair. That made me think, am I? He knew the rules, and he broke them, which i think is grounds to fire him.
What do you think? Aita?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
f4DQLuRdiJCAYuw3qN6JSD3ZfGnFcmAM | aaoqkb | {
"description": "going to a track day while my girlfriend was in the hospital having her appendix out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for going to a track day while my girlfriend was in the hospital having her appendix out? | So long story short I like to end 3 day long track day events where there is circuit racing, time trials, and just open track sessions. Not I volunteer for the company that organizes and runs the events and I get comped track time in return and normally I camp out to save money, and my girlfriend comes with me to hang out after and just enjoy the event.
This particular time the event is 3 days long, friday, saturday and sunday. This particular time some of the other volunteers and I had rented a villa at the track and split the cost (I paid for myself and my gf so ~$250 total). SO thursday rolls around and I we usually head down together but this time, her stomach had been hurting more and more throughout the week.
So on thursday instead of coming to meet me she goes to the emergency room and lo and behold she needs her appendix removed over the weekend, and I went to the track alone and gave her spot to a friend who didn't want to pay for the villa. By the time I got back from the track the surgery was completed and she was picked up from the hospital by a friend.
AITA for not canceling my track day and staying with her? I'm not just attending the event, I have to work all day for it and was expected to be there. Also she does have celiac disease so stomache pain for her is pretty regular but I was aware she was going to need surgery before I left. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
5bmAZZdKwe0hrAwHCZhWdRVzelsEICeU | arzy1s | {
"description": "not wanting my uncle of probation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my uncle of probation. | My uncle abused me for 5 years. (7-12). He’s been on probation for 14 years. He has 15 years left. I was recently contacted by his PO saying that the judge, and him are willing to get him off probation if I’m okay with it. I don’t think I want this to happen.
I originally found out through my grandma, but found out that it was a breach in the contract that we had set up that she talked to me about it, as it’s her son.
I thought he’d get in trouble but didn’t.
So aita for wanting him to stay on probation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tPJxGaBiHXuWygQu560I7UL8bPe7DXl3 | 9wr46l | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend that she's negative and that many of her problems are possibly her own undoing",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend that she's negative and that many of her problems are possibly her own undoing? | Okay, so I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and she has always been wonderful to me. However, she is incredibly introverted and the best way to describe the situation is with the words my therapist used: "/u/DamaruisManeti, you are someone that generally likes people until they give you a reason not to, and even then, redemption is possible. Your girlfriend is someone who generally dislikes people untill they give her a reason to like them."
She likes to complain fairly frequently about people she doesn't like/things that aren't going well with the people she does like and overall has a fairly negative outlook on people that began to wear on me. Even though her complaints are valid (and most of the time, professional/academic issues), they still seem like she has unrealistic expectations of proven lazy/incompetent people.
One day, she complained about how she doesn't really have good friends (except for me) and that she doesn't understand why her "friends" don't prioritize or realize what's going wrong when she talks to them about it. I then broke and told her that her being so negative wears on me and that her having a "holier than thou" attitude just because she didn't tell anyone off today is part of the reason that she doesn't have many friends and not really any close ones. She then called me "naive" for "seeing sunshine and fucking rainbows in everyone."
Things have improved but I think about it a lot and am wondering if I am in fact, the asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JYvRXca2VRb52PTSAsQ14a96vkEnn3qS | asi8qt | {
"description": "not trusting my mother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not trusting my mother?? | So I (17m) had gotten my mother mad at me for not telling her my problems. I did not want to talk about them at the moment but she kept insisting.
​
I had went to see a CAMH counselor earlier in the year, talking in confidence that it would be kept between only the people in the room/ However she began dropping hints about the things that I said during counseling. (Like smoking pot and cigs)
So i tell her that i find it hard to trust even those who are closest to me, and that even someone that i trusted deeply (my counselor at CAMH) had broken the trust. I did not feel safe enough to share my problems with her.
​
She then starts to raise her voice and kept saying "How could you not trust your own mother"
she storms off and we haven't talked since.
​
So reddit AITA for not trusting my mom right after someone I trusted deeply had just broken it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
s5Yn7rsS8gyQHN9sNDuwjWuoBR5aWcVf | ahoch0 | {
"description": "ending a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For ending a friendship? (A bit NSFW & long) | I haven’t talked to this person in quite a while so I’m not sure if she or her bf use Reddit. Because of this, I’m going to try to be as vague as possible while providing the important stuff still. Sorry for how long this is!
Let’s call my friend Sarah. Sarah and I met in middle school when she transferred to our school. We were both black sheep of our class, and because of that we ended up connecting. I found out that her family situation wasn’t the best, so she moved in with my family and became a full fledge member. She went to holidays with us, my extended family treated her like another grand daughter/niece, etc. My parents paid for her doctors appointments, paid to put her through sports at school, and supported her completely. This wasn’t the first time my family had taken in a friend to live with us. We’ve had a few other local kids live with us before while their own families were going through shit, so this was natural for us.
Around junior year, Sarah started to hang out with me less and less. My insecurities began to sky rocket. It’s hard when you have a friend living with you, and said friend goes out to party, the beach, to hang out, etc without ever inviting you. She ofc didn’t have to invite me every time, but it was getting to the point where she was more of my roommate than my friend. Because of the sport she was in, she became more popular whereas I was left just hanging around. Later this year I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression. I was struggling a lot and I wanted to force myself to go out more and I had hoped that Sarah would want to hang out and spend time with me so that I wouldn’t want to fall into depression pits. She didn’t want to though. I don’t blame her my shit of course, but I know if I had a friend who wasn’t doing hot, I’d try to make sure they’d okay and offer to spend at least some time with them.
Sarah ended up dating a guy about a year and a half later. This guy was...weird. It became a situation where she saw nothing and no one but him. She spent the night at his place a lot, did a lot of underage drinking, and all that stuff. Whatever. She never really introduced us and I thought it was because she was embarrassed of me. Remember, at this point we had lived together for about 5 years. She was like a sister to me. It hurt.
The longer things went on, the creepier he got. I remember at one point she was talking to me about how this guy wanted to try anal, but she didn’t want to. He got her drunk (she was 18/19 at the time) and convinced her to do it was she was incapacitated. I was worried. This is technically rape. She said no, and he got an underage girl drunk so that he could take advantage of her. I expressed my disgust but she said it was okay and that she was wrong about saying no initially.
Shortly after, Sarah’s boss mentions to my dad in passing that it’s weird that my dad would be cool with Sarah dating a much older guy, considering he’s like her daughter. We were confused. We thought he was 22. We know at the end of the day it’s her decision and my dad isn’t her dad actually, but we were worried. We asked her about it and she said he was 24. Then a few weeks later, she slipped up and said he was 26. I called her out on it and she admitted he was 30. She was 18/19. This paired up with the other shitty stuff he had done made him shape up to be a real slimy bastard. I hated him. The few times she brought him around, I avoided him like the plague.
It was Sarah’s birthday and she was in her room crying because she found out from a mutual friend that he had confessed to his friends that her “pussy smelled bad”. She was insecure as hell and for him to do that made it worse. so, I did what any good friend would do. I stole my dad’s car, got friends together, took her to the beach and had a good time. She was happy, laughing, and having fun. Afterward, we went back to a friends house down the street and started to bbq and have a few drinks. It was really fun. Sarah mentions she had to run home and grab something, so we go ahead and let her. An hour passes and food is done so I go looking for her. She’s in her room getting read to go meet with her bf. I asked about the bbq, and remind her that we did all this for her and she brushes us off.
A few months later she moves in with him. I cut contact with her. She ends up having a kid with him and she’s been contacting me, and my family again. She wants me back in her life and her child’s life. I’ve ignored all attempts. I’m worried that she just wants me there so I can buy her kid shit and support her when her much older bf is a shit bag.
AITA For ignoring her, and for ending the friendship? Was it my place to end it over here bf being shitty, or should I have ignored it all because it’s not \*my\* relationship? I’ve been feeling on and off bouts of guilt, especially whenever I see a pic of her kid in passing or hear about her dming my sister in hopes of getting in contact with me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
h5p6YznnUjNnZi29KWCl7FijIx6Pc2sz | a1q4bv | {
"description": "making my roommate's boyfriend's WiFi slower",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for making my roommate's boyfriend's WiFi slower? | My roommate's boyfriend has been staying at our place regularly for the past few weeks and my other roommate and I have noticed a decrease in our wireless speed. Upon further investigation, it turns out that he has 3 devices connected to the network at all times (usually streaming music or TV shows), while everyone else only has a phone and a laptop connected.
Tonight, I took it upon myself to identify his devices and reduce their bandwidth to 0.5 mb/s.
Enough is enough. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
58KPS9jFUtHzxuEDLKngduxqnp0D2dE3 | adc66k | null | AITA would I be- if I have my boyfriend half the food money instead of sharing it | My boyfriend and I usually share food money but because he has a disorder surrounding food it’s extremely hard to shop and make any recipes. It’s not his fault but he basically doesn’t eat anything and apparently therapy does nothing for him.
It’s very very hard to live in a cheap budget, try and cook new foods and still have food for him to eat. I get bored eating the same things over and over and over.
Anyway would it be an asshole thing to do if I just gave him half the money and told him to buy whatever he wanted while I bought whatever I wanted and then we share the food at the end? And anything he wants for himself he just uses his own money and I won’t touch it?
I’m not sure if it would be rude because of his disorder, but honestly I miss cooking like I used to | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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