id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
ujamoFBzXApEAjv6wmfTTbzAruzHEZ2a | 9v0r2k | {
"description": "sharing paid-for leftovers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For sharing paid-for leftovers? | I got paid a really nice bonus, and told my Person that we should go out to eat that night to celebrate. Person picks a place- Not one I love (or even really like), but I mean.. It's okay. We've talked about this before, but Person loves this place so I bite the bullet and offer. It's a pretty expensive place, and this bonus means that it's one of the few times we can go out and afford it.
We have a bottle of wine while eating, spend an hour or two there. I leave an -overly- gratuitous tip, because the service was justifiably outstanding and over-the-top (so not so overly-gracious? idk, been in the service industry, good job equals good tip. Full stop). We take a bottle of wine to-go home.
Cut to a few days later, I have a couple friends over for board games. I open the bottle of wine that -I- paid for. We finish it.
Cut to a day later. Person wants to know where the wine is. I say I drank it.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mDycdrZ3h0oEFJaGMDzsFa0s9k7ssQhk | aibasp | {
"description": "saying I didn't enjoy my birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying I didn't enjoy my birthday party? | Brief history: I have a twin sister. We recently had our birthday. I decided to host the birthday party this year. I had to postpone the first date for some sort of MLM type party my sister had organised. This bummed me out a little because I like to celebrate closer to the actual birthday.
The party was for my parents, my two sisters and their husbands and kids.
Two things that speak against me: I had a very busy week at work and ever since I started working out I get hangry when I don't eat by 7pm.
For some reason the kids were extra rowdy, even though I had plenty of toys for them to play with, they found it more enjoyable to make a mess and break stuff. I had prepared plenty of appetizers for the aperitif but I didn't get the chance to taste any of them.
I was too busy:
- mixing cocktails for my sisters. Couldn't make a pitcher because they wanted to taste all of the options, and they went through them FAST.
- mopping up drinks spilled by the kids. When I told the kids to leave their drinks at the table, my sisters said I was being too strict. And I'm pretty sure my sisters think seeing their child with an empty cup is a direct violation of Human Rights, insisting I refill each time. So that happened 6 times.
- getting out bandaids because the boys found that the most enjoyable thing to do is smack each other with their toy cars. Removing said cars was on par with empty cup.
- getting out more food because everyone was inhaling the stuff on the table the second I put it there.
- cleaning up vomit from a kid who thought it was a good idea to drink every none spilled drink and eat half a bag's worth of cheetos and at least 5 springrolls, all given to him by the people seated at the table.
- trying to prevent the kids from going into the kitchen. My house has an open floor plan so you can run straight from the dining room into the kichen. This was also flagged as a grave injustice by the people seated at the table.
- clear the table, refill drinks and food, do some in between dishwashing,... the usual hosting stuff.
This continued during the main course. I was feeling lightheaded so I asked the other people to watch the kids while I ate. The response was not supportive. Going from " eat faster" to " aren't you on a diet" to " if you can't handle this stuff don't host a party".
There were desserts and coffee afterwards but I went through that on automatic pilot. When they asked me if I would be hosting again next year, I think they saw my doubts as a personal victory. When I said I didn't really enjoy the time together they were outraged and said it ruined my twin's party. Even though all they did for the entire evening was drink an eat.They have their busy family life and I'm not fit to handle that it seems.
So am I the asshole? Genuinely conflicted. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8LpB2Td5xkRMCwxFvz0wJMeflBDJn0Ur | akgm8t | {
"description": "not wanting to date or marry someone with chronic depression",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to date or marry someone with chronic depression? | I've (30F) struggled with clinical depression for most of my life so I know what it can entail. I don't ever want to be in a relationship with someone with clinical depression or who is prone to depression. (I'm not talking about a depressive episode brought on by an event, ex: a parent dying, I'm talking about chronic depression.)
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
aFPst6aSvIM3DW7P7WycTkuHBL7RInmJ | affir0 | {
"description": "getting breakfast with a girl",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For getting breakfast with a girl? | I recently slept with a girl, but then she told me she had a long-distance boyfriend in the morning. However, I still got breakfast with her because I felt like it would be rude to just kick her out, even though she did something wrong. During breakfast, we talked a bit about her relationship, and how it was pretty rocky and not going anywhere. I told her she should definitely talk with her boyfriend about it, and that it was up to her whether or not she wanted to tell him what happened. I didn't feel like I was in the wrong, because she told me after, and because I felt like this was their problem, not mine.
After I told my friends about the situation, and how I got breakfast with her after, despite knowing she had a boyfriend, they started to give me a lot of shit for what I did, and how I should have just kicked her out immediately regardless of anything. A couple did say that it would have been rude for me to do so, however.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Csg71CQbP8SvTuTM5c3hI5te08Vl1AjU | adn8mg | {
"description": "not wanting to visit home",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to visit home? | I have a very rocky relationship with my dad. When I was a kid, he was pretty abusive (which got "better" as I grew up, meaning he wasnt physical, just emotionally and mentally) and in my adulthood, hes stolen my credit card twice, taken my tax return without permission, and has insulted me heavily whenever we have disagreements. On top of being an absolute narcissist, he is generally very crummy to be around. I love him for being my father, but as a person I dont like him one bit.
Now, the issue comes in when I talk about my mom. Shes amazing, and I'm really lucky to have a parent like her, but lately, with me being back home, she feels like I'm still gone because I never visit. And why dont I visit? Because my dad is still there. I dont know why shes still with him, the dude is incredibly mean and callous to her, but that's irrelevant atm. But shes upset because I havent been around to see her and I mean, I am too. I miss my mom so much...but I guess not enough to put up with seeing my dad. He really is such an asshole...he has me pay for another plane ticket so he can come up to Washington and drive down with me and during the trip, steals my credit card and then gets angry at me for something he unnecessarily damaged while driving down and doesnt even tell me that hes spending on it...and hes done that THREE TIMES. And my mom says I need to forgive him and just try to work with him...HOW??? HOW DO YOU WORK WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NEVER WRONG??? The dude could straight up murder someone and he would find a way to spin it as if it was all the guns fault. He isnt open to talking about our issues and that's why I cant go over there. Hell, I just saw him at the PX and I damn near had a panic attack driving back to the place I'm living at just thinking about this whole thing.
I know this whole thing sounds like a jumbled mess, but I need to know I'm not crazy. I'm making my mom feel like shit because I cant see her and she misses me and I absolutely miss her too, but I really dont want to see my fucking dad. And she hardly ever has time away from the house cause if she isnt at the house, shes at work from 0700-2100, and not back home until 2300.
AITA for not wanting to visit home because I dont want to see my dad? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PlVD6G0gQxY21iqE8h91kUKsHYqBrjRI | af1l62 | {
"description": "allowing a mentally handicapped diabetic to have sugar",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for allowing a mentally handicapped diabetic to have sugar? | I saw a post about a McDonald's employee giving obese people sugar-free soda, and that reminded me of a thing at my previous job in fast food. I don't work there anymore, but I still find it an interesting dilemma.
I used to work as a manager at a fast food joint, and one of our regulars was a (somewhat) mentally disabled person. I'm not sure what his exact disorders were, but he looked a bit like he had Down syndrome and spoke very awkwardly.
This guy would often come and try to order himself a small Coke. Sometimes he'd have the money (in loose change), and sometimes he'd try to get a discount or something. We had to put a stop to the cashiers giving him a discount, as it turns out that he'd just "find" more money in his back pocket. Clearly he wasn't as helpless as he came across.
One day, an older woman comes by saying that she's his mother and caretaker. According to her, the disabled man is diabetic and that we should only serve him the sugar-free drinks. Of course, every time the man ordered, he'd say no to Coke Zero and only wanted the regular thing.
So, for the next few times (when we remembered, it was a busy restaurant) we'd secretly give him Coke Zero. He didn't seem to notice, but it divided the employees' opinions and was probably against company policy. After all, it's not up to us to decide if he's capable of making his own decisions. We just gave up on it and went back to serving him what he ordered.
So am I the asshole for giving sugar to this (probably) diabetic mentally disabled man?
Just for clarification:
- The man was probably in his 30s. He came to buy soda almost daily.
- We didn't have any concrete proof that the woman was his mother (although no one doubted it). | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
C8E8iiknOVUJWqRRojvNsUAxeFxwtare | 9v7u44 | {
"description": "turning down a date with a girl solely because she's deaf",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for turning down a date with a girl solely because she's deaf? | Back story: I was asked out by a friend of my neighbors, who are also deaf but can communicate with me pretty well. I turned her down respectfully saying sorry but I'm not interested solely because she is deaf and while she can read lips, I have a hard time understanding her. I feel like because of this a relationship isn't a grand idea. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9N4eaTeWJGkxpxpvnSg9B3s8zqCy9VqC | az5u1d | {
"description": "hating my Wife's dog",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA For Hating my Wife's Dog? | When my wife and I started dating, she had a rescue dog, to which she was quite attached. She got the dog during a traumatic period in her life, and the dog was also abused, so they formed a strong trauma-based attachment. The dog was abused by males and reacted aggressively towards all males. I'm a dog lover, and empathized, so I set about trying to form a healthy attachment with the dog.
My presence in the relationship had a lot of positive impact on the dog's behavior, as we spent way more time outside, got more exercise, and generally lived a lifestyle that made the dog happier and improved a lot of behavioral problems. He eventually came to trust many males, became far less aggressive, etc.
His outlook towards me, however, has never improved. Based on my limited knowledge, because I compete with him for my wife's attention, and he sees her as a resource to be guarded, I've remained Enemy #1 in his eyes. He barks at me constantly, growls any time I go near my wife, and acts as though I'm going to slaughter him any time he and I are alone together. We have tried implementing strategies we could find online, like my wife reducing her attention and affection towards him while I took on the main caregiver role. This helped temporarily but any sign of attention from her would put us right back at square 1.
We've discussed finding a new home for the dog, and I've never pushed for it. I empathize with the bond they formed, and I see the value he's had to her. I didn't want to, well, be the asshole, and just couldn't feel right about demanding that she get rid of him. He's also getting quite old, and the thought of "I can wait this out until he passes on" gave me some hope.
At this point I'm not sure how much longer I can take it, and it's starting to impact my relationship with my wife. For example, we have a shock collar that we try to use during times when the dog will definitely bark at me. Of course I don't want him to have to wear the collar all the time as it's uncomfortable and I don't feel great about shocking a dog to begin with, but I've become more angry at my wife for not putting the collar on, because the dog barks at me in so many different situations and it's inevitable that she'll take the collar off, only to have him go nuts when I walk back inside from checking the mail.
I'm at my wits end, I'm angry at the dog for being a little shit, at my wife for keeping him around for so long, and at myself for not putting my foot down and protecting my sanity and relationship with my wife sooner. AITA for not patiently riding this out for another 1-4 years until the dog passes on? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
6KpbELOyYSNvi3S4YKe8kfUFBfkNOmvX | atwmx2 | {
"description": "not believing Jussie Smollet in an arguement with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Not Believing Jussie Smollet In An Arguement With My Girlfriend? | So my girlfriend and I were talking on the phone last night when the topic of Jussie Smollet came up. I watched his ABC interview and just couldnt believe the story bleach and noose at 2am by two white MAGA guys who watched empire enough to know this dude? Already a tough thing to believe and Jussies telling of the story only furthered my doubts. My girl of course believes him, she is black and has a habit of defending black people in media, earlier she had even been angry that Bill Cosby had everything taken from him while there are still white men in media who there is proof of their misdeeds yet still havent been taken down. She thinks they should be in trouble before Cosby gets in trouble.
She says there is no logical reason for Jussie to plan this whole thing then downshot everything I said that might be reasons. More media attention for real hate crimes, more publicity for himself or maybe because he thought he could get away with it and he wants just more attention. She says I have no proof beyond my gut feeling and what the media has out there, this is true but sometimes the gut is right and its not like I can investigate something in Chicago all I have is what multiple sources are saying is what happened. I dont deny that hate crimes still happen I just dont think this particular case happened to him. I in the end just said it doesnt matter what I think I have no sway in anything that happens to him and she hung up the phone on me in anger AITA?
Sorry for formatting and bad spelling on mobile | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
7sPWQDXdqitgKaYyGTK0oISGafrWhPnS | a8xlni | {
"description": "being mad that I have to host a family gathering",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being mad that I have to host a family gathering? | So I live with my mother for financial reasons and for the holidays she decided to invite her brother and his family over.
For some context, my uncle is in his 70s, his kids are about 15-20 years older than me and their kids are all like half my age or younger (I’m 30).
Now we normally host during the holidays because we have one of the bigger homes. I buy and cook all the food (my mom doesn’t cook) and do 90% of the house cleaning/prep (my mom is older and can’t really do heavy house work) I am 100% okay with this arrangement because our family is usually only about 6 people max during a gathering and it takes a lot of stress off my mom during an already stressful time of year.
This gathering is going to be 13 people (7 of which are virtual strangers to me) because my cousins are so much older than me, I have 0 memories of them, and have only met half the kids and those I did meet were only once.
My mother has said she will take care of the food and I only have to worry about myself (I’m a vegetarian). She is going to buy a precooked ham for everyone. No mention of any other food, sides or desserts. The thing is, I’m not the only vegetarian coming. I know that there are 2 other vegetarians and mom mentioned that several others don’t like to eat meat. So now it’s looking like half the group are vegetarians so I won’t be cooking for just me.
This is also happening 2 days after our normal Christmas gathering that I’m having to cook/prep for.
My mother also mentioned that because my cousins’ kids are all coming (I think 4 in total) that I will be expected to set up my playstion for them. This I absolutely put my food down on and said no way. I don’t care if these kids are family. They are not going to be playing around in my room while I’m not there to supervise. And even if I was, I should be able to expect my privacy in my own room and not be expected to babysit a bunch of kids.
I know these people are family but honestly I’m pretty pissed that I’m going to have to play host to virtual strangers. My mom says she will handle it, but she’s not a young woman and if I don’t step in, she’s going to over work herself just trying to prep the house and won’t be able to cook or anything. So I’ll end up having to play host and entertain these people.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
RK20wlMYPOxOq0obwVVxqokqxJBhzTie | 9vxroq | {
"description": "asking my aunt to come over for Thanksgiving",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for asking my aunt to come over for Thanksgiving? | So, my dad can’t really be around smoke because he had a recent surgery and can’t be around nicotine and smoke. We want to be with one of my aunts for the Thanksgiving holiday but she and my uncle both smoke a lot inside her home. We don’t want to go up there just ourselves because what’s the point of a family gathering if one member isn’t allowed to go?
So Reddit, would my mom and I be the asshole if we invited my aunt and uncle to Thanksgiving dinner with a no smoking stipulation? If so, how could we politely make the request? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9ebMDqfb4q4VmsLXM7fPdgcOT7aocxAN | awqxob | {
"description": "accepting a large bonus knowing I was quitting within a week",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for accepting a large bonus knowing i was quitting within a week? | I got a new job which will more than double my salary. Im going from 70k to 150k+. I think that my new employer may have called the company for a character reference, thus tipping off the owner. This is just speculation. The day before my boss left for a month long vacation on an island, he called me in the office and gave me a $2000 bonus for "all my great work". I am going to have to put in my two week notice via email. He goes off the grid for the month, but he will check email every few days. I was hoping to put my notice in in person before he left, but timing was off. Im taking the job and keeping the bonus. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cokrb7lUWOWdNXWGJYL3SlqSp1zfdQsZ | b4xsnk | {
"description": "not wanting to go to a bar to hear my boyfriend practice his instrument",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go to a bar to hear my boyfriend practice his instrument? | I don't drink, so bars are already boring. It would have been me drinking odouls and listening to him play (which, imagine, I do alllllll the time already--we live together). He got really upset about me being hesitant to go and called it "me time" that he needed. If I had known it was something he needed I would've gone, but I can't be expected to intuit that. By the time I figured this out he was in a horrible mood and didn't even want to go. Am I the asshole? I don't know. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
t6yVfndpGsJvpeJ6ZPKvw3uxuEd9kBBG | anhtbt | {
"description": "not wanting to volunteer my time during work",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to volunteer my time during work? | For giving Tuesday this year my office got together and bagged food for needy families in my area. My company was unwilling to compensate us for this time meaning we would have to work extra to make up for the lost hour and a half of the work day. Okay, fine it's giving Tuesday. Well now it's apparently a regular event, with the expectation that we will give up our time during work hours and need to make up for those hours. I would prefer to work my normal hours, be compensated, and go home at my normal time instead of an hour later. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gNk1Z9O9Z1mJBcKXxMhRONlvqijUXMCY | aemgtm | {
"description": "not being able to go to my cousin's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being able to go to my cousin's wedding. | Hello Everyone,
My Cousin is getting married later this month and has been inviting us to her wedding for a few months now. However, going to her wedding with is a 14hr flight (shortest flight available) seems like a very hard task for me and my family. We can't really get any day's off from work, and my dad won't get paid for any days off since he only makes money when he works, (self employed). Today, my cousin told us that we never loved her and that we don't consider her family, since we were able to go to her older sister's wedding. We recently have had some bills we're trying to pay off immediately but were still able to send her a $2500 wedding present, even though we can't attend. When she told us that we never "loved her", i got very mad and told us that she never asked us how we were ever doing and that she should be grateful for what she has and not be selfish, making her even more mad. What does everyone else think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eiwFH38D77NlDSFKfKljOqRLIeDFzZF6 | a5ws51 | {
"description": "getting annoyed at my husband for going over our spending limit for Xmas gifts",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting annoyed at my husband for going over our spending limit for Xmas gifts? | My husband (30/M) and I (27/F) are not in the best financial shape - we’re both students with part-time jobs but we live with my parents so don’t pay rent. While we don’t have much in the way of monthly outgoings, he has a couple thousand pounds of credit card debt and I’m about to leave my part-time job to focus on my studies for the last few months of my degree, at the end of which (summertime) I will be essentially guaranteed a decent-paying job.
So I suggested setting a spending limit for each other’s Christmas presents just to make sure neither of us goes overboard. We agreed on £100 ($125) and I would have been happy with much less. He went and bought presents for me today and I asked if he had gone over budget. He said “a little” and I asked how much and he said £50 over (so £150/$190 in total).
So I said I was a little unhappy about that and asked if he could take something back. He was upset and didn’t seem to get where I was coming from at all. I don’t want to feel ungrateful at all, I very much appreciate that he wants to get me nice gifts but he has a history of spending a lot of money and getting into debt and other people including me having to bail him out, so when he gets me something I know is expensive it makes me uncomfortable thinking about potential consequences. Also because it’s mutual, it means I don’t spend beyond my means either.
Mostly what bothers me is the fact that we agreed upon something together and he hasn’t stuck to it. I’m not sure he ever had any intention of doing it (this has happened before to a lesser extent). He says he doesn’t want to do a limit, which would have been fine if he had said that at the time. He said “well I’ll just take everything back then” and later “well you can take it back yourself after then”.
TL;DR: my husband and I agreed on a spending limit and he ignored it. Am I being ungrateful or am I justified in being upset? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YoHqz9z4yNryyGREhLjzdovhgwkm2B2a | aq0osi | {
"description": "being annoyed that the girl I'm dating gives money to panhandlers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 40
} | AITA for being annoyed that the girl I’m dating gives money to panhandlers? | I recently started dating someone who I really like. I noticed though, that she ALWAYS gives money to panhandlers. We live in NYC so this isn’t exactly an infrequent occurrence. If we are on the train and someone performs, she will give them money. If we get off the train and someone is shaking a cup, she will give them money. If we are walking down the street and someone has a sign, she will give them money. Almost every time she walks past a panhandler anywhere she will stop and give them some money. The other day we got into an argument because I wanted to stop by a cash only place but she didn’t have cash to spend because she had already given all her cash away that day to panhandlers. Usually, that wouldn’t be a huge deal since we pay for each other frequently but we had spent the day together and it just annoyed me that the reason she didn’t have cash was because she was so eagerly giving it away to random people.
I could understand if you give every now and then, but I find it very strange that she does EVERY TIME. She actually told me that the only reason she even carries any cash is to give it to people when they ask for it. I think this is insane. AITA for thinking this is a weird/crazy thing for someone to do? She gives away around $40-$50 a day. Her argument is that she can very easily afford it (true) and that it is her money (also true) and can do whatever she wants with it. On the other end she thinks I’m crazy for even giving a shit.
Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 39,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 40
} | WRONG |
947izMOFbnYIDcpY6wzQIJwQ4WPETKLD | axeuzk | {
"description": "ghosting my friend for having a kid",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ghosting my friend for having a kid? | I had a friend in high school and my early college years who only seemed to get worse the more I hung out with him (getting way too drunk/high, being very creepy to female friends). He chased his ex halfway across the country and ended up drunk begging for her back at her doorstep. Needless to say that didn't work, and he ended up coming back for a while.
He didn't really get any new direction in life, and after going back across the country for school he dropped his course and came back with an emotionally stunted, druggie kleptomaniac girlfriend, who used my car to move stuff she stole before I put a stop to it.
Despite her protestations that she was infertile, she got pregnant, and now they have a child. After hearing about this, I ghosted the both of them, and haven't spoken to them since. I worry about their child's safety with them, but I hear the baby's in the care of his mother, who I trust implicitly, even if I wish she didn't have to put up with this stuff.
I guess I'm mostly asking if it's responsible of me to leave these two in charge of a child, and to not help out with the kid/keep him from doing anything else stupid. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yPUzPBqfdpA2VXJUmS68DNOM1hW8d4mR | 9utm00 | {
"description": "disassociating from my mother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for disassociating from my mother? | To begin, she isn't mad or anything and no one is angry with me at all. Besides myself.
I love my mother very much. She's incredibly kind and smart and helpful. She's a wonderful person and worked hard in college. She's suffered a lot in her childhood and has had injuries in her youth leaving her not completely 100%. She's strong and resolute in her goals besides being no stranger to adversity.
My mother has had a track record of bad habits and criminal activity starting in '08. When my parents divorced, I was three and up until 2008 I had done the whole weekend swap-house routine between my parents.
In 2008 she met, we'll call him Jeff. Jeff had a history of armed robbery and such criminal offenses, I think drug charges was one of them as well. Well he somehow convinced my mother that he was a worthy prospect for a relationship. Jeff creeped me out. He made weird off-putting ?threats? towards me. Like one time I made a paper airplane and he set it on fire and tossed it off a balcony. Really just unsettling things. I did not like him. I voiced this to her. I was ignored. Fast forward a few months and her house is robbed. Jeff and my mother were living together and he had stolen valuables and sold them. That night, (I wasn't there) she assaulted him since he stole her stuff.
Jeff and my Mother's relationship resulted in a son, A.
She was jailed for a few months for the assault. Over the course of the next few years, she was in and out of the system several times due to shoplifting, illegal movie sales, and drug possession.
In years in-between incarceration, she has me flown out and we've done fun stuff. Family dinners, Christmas, Thanksgiving. I've witnessed her attempt to steal for my benefit, like Christmas gifts, and we had a crying fit together when I made her put it back.
About threeish years ago, I was visiting her in WI from CA for Thanksgiving, and she was in another shady relationship. His name will be "Henry". Henry seemed ok apart from not having a job, a musty weed smell and breath of an alcoholic. That would be all well and good (well lawfully tolerable) if my mother and himself weren't on probation from previous offenses. The morning after my arrival arrival, I was awoken by her Parole Officer or some Official busting down the door, and searching her place. She was in possession of Alcohol, Marijuana, and I believe some other hard drug, Oxy maybe? Anyways, they were both arrested, right in front of me. They were both on probation and they were charged with violating it. Coupled with new charges for illegal substances. And since I was visiting her, I was far away from a legal guardian, that being in CA.
In the year of 2017, she got out of jail and managed to get her son A out of foster care after a year. He went in because of the situation I experienced. He wasn't there that night, he was at friends house or something.
A has had a rough life with no stable family, with both parents in the system. His father, Jeff went to prison for meth, and armed robbery, shortly after his relationship with my mother. A has learning disabilities and endures bullying at school. He's 9 now and self harming and depressed.
This year my mother went back to Jail for the fourth time. She called me while I was in my art class, telling me so. I blocked her and forgot about her. I was starting college soon and I needed help, I couldn't bear the weight of caring for someone who won't care for her family. I was destroyed, not because of her but because of A. What will he do?
So all of that looks bad. But I still feel like an ass because, after all that she is my mother. And I should be there to help her if I can right? She turned to me for help and I'm blocking her out. She was going through tough times and that's understandable. I feel guilty. She's my family, immediate family, she cares for me, accommodates me, and helps me when I ask. Am I doing something wrong here?
TLDR: My mom keeps going back to jail, asks for forgiveness each time. I blocked her from everything and refuse her calls. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rVm8De1M5PVWCIGQoZepME2qdBrJpw4x | a4kzcf | {
"description": "not wanting to date a girl cause of her looking radically different in person than she did in pics",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to date a girl cause of her looking radically different in person than she did in Pics | Yo folks. So a few months ago I matched with this girl on tinder and we'be been chatting on and off for a few months. On the count of both of us having just a ridiculously busy schedule and some unfortunate events hitting us both we only me up for drinks this past week. Its the dead of winter here so I took her to a nice coffee and pasty place.
​
On pictures she was physically very my type, however her appearance in person was radically different (she was far shorter and nowhere near the average body type she made herself out to be on pictures). She works with Photoshop for a living so I cant help but suspect there was some kind of shenanigans going on.
​
She is very nice and we get along extremely well, but I cant see myself going for any kind of romantic relationship with her. I am just not physically attracted to her. Whats more is that I recently underwent some semi scary health issues and since then I've been taking care of myself very seriously, sorting out my diet,working out etc. and I really dont want to get involved with someone that might cause me to fall out of these habits.
​
I am gonna try and not ghost this girl, but I really cant see us on another date.
​
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gtuFapsrHv71WI0YvJVIWbJAdMJX8Lge | 9z02h7 | {
"description": "open palm slapping my dad in the face",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for open palm slapping my dad in the face? | Backstory, my day was probably the worst it has been in months.
Work is extreme stressful, recently I’ve been taking calls from stressed out people who I can’t even help because we are stretched thin as it is and can’t get more help til after the holidays.
My gf is going through some things with her family, she lives in a appt with two other people and they all don’t get along. I can’t even escape over there when I’m stressed because how cramped it is there.
I live at home but I’m getting ready to move out into a condo soon as soon as the weather is better and I save more. Until then my life is a living hell living with the parents.
My relationship with my dad has never been good. He started drinking when I was a baby, I think it was innocent at first, but escalated to him being constantly drunk. I’m taking about going through a 6 pack a day drunk. He used to beat me, yell at me, called me fat, and once pinned me by my thought agent a wall. All of this happened when I was a minor. I never remember doing anything really with him aside from typical dad things, fishing which I never liked, fixing cars, or going to drag races. He never went to things that meant a-lot to me like football, to look at new cars with me, or even movies. Fortunately he stopped drinking around the time I was 18, he claims “he sees whats going on now and nothing can get by me anymore” but Other then smelling like beer and not being funny he haven’t really changed.
Fast forward to today.
I woke up later around 730, I wanted to leave at 8 this morning. My sister came to me asking for a ride I said sure and told her be ready at 8, she came running to my car as i was patiently leaving after waiting an extra 10 min. I told her that i will now be late and she can get a ride elsewhere.. she starts at 945. It was 810 when I left. She then begged my mom and bitched at her to get a ride making my mom late.
When I got home later my dad was there and first thing he said was wtf happened this morning, as he “wanted to hear both sides” i told him i waited and then left when she took her time as i was late. He took her said in the argument that it was my family duty to give her a ride (He was mad that my mom bitched at him about my sister). We then started a 2 hour long argument about this. I walked away then asked my mom if I was the family joke as everything that seems to happen is my fault. I start telling her how this feels to me and that i feel that everyone is ganging up on me. Then my dad casually walks by and starts talking about how much everything I am is because of him And that i am nothing if it weren’t without him.
Note my dad is not rich. When I finished school i was given 2k for college, they helped out a little by not charging me rent but in the past year i’ve been paying the electrical bill. About 100$ a month. About 90% of my pay cheque goes to savings because i am extremely strict with my savings and don’t really like to spend money on luxury.
Back to the fight..
He said I am nothing with out him and a few more things. Honestly at this point I black out with anger. All i remember saying is “I am about to slap you if you say one more thing” he said “go ahead do it” and I did. I hit him, open palm as hard as I have ever did in my life.
Part of my is regretful. I cried uncontrollably after on the phone and in the car with my gf, i wanted to kill my self.
The other half is happy that I finally hit is stupid smug smile off his face after he said “I dare ya”.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vwkrj3KOndHv3KzridyGmRCixmXXY7TD | any0ji | {
"description": "telling my brother that no one asked him to take on the responsibility of looking after our family homes furniture, art and antiques",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my brother that no one asked him to take on the responsibility of looking after our family homes furniture, art and antiques? | My mother moved from our 5 bedroom family home and asked my siblings to help move out. Over the course of 2 years (over mainly weekends) my sister and I collected everything we owned/wanted to keep from the house’s contents.
My brother, on the other hand, took it upon himself to deal with storing the the rest of the house’s contents. He moved about a freight trucks worth of furniture, antiques, sentimental items and art to his friends storage unit, several hours away from my home and my sisters home. Recently my brother found out his friend had been selling items from the storage unit without telling anyone and now needs to find a home for all of these items.
He complained to me that my sister and I didn’t do enough to help with the move and that I’m an asshole for not helping more.
I pointed out to my brother that my sister and I are in full time work and did spend every weekend we could clearing our family home. Since he is unemployed, he is the only one with no time commitments and also the only one who really cares about the rest of the contents of the house. My sister and I also dedicated a number of weekends over two years to help clear the house while he travelled the world only coming back to help a few months before the house was sold.
He got angry and said some pretty unrelated and shitty things which I know he’s an asshole for, but it’s whether I’m an asshole for leaving my brother to deal with the rest of the house’s contents?
(Every time I tried to help my mum with selling the house, she completely negated any help I offered. I organised visits and meetings with estate agents, builders and lawyers at her request. She didn’t use any of them and despite my protests hired an acquaintance as the realtor. Several months of meetings with businesses only for my mother to pick someone she met personally made me feel like I was wasting my time) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
KnF7aeYVGrCa05s37UJQm4lIAK8ETLUn | a6joo6 | {
"description": "getting upset that because the parent of our youngest child decided to come into our house without being invited",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset that because the parent of our youngest child decided to come into our house without being invited? | Background: My wife and I have a pre-teen daughter who has made a new friend via a 'social club' for lack of a better term. Both girls happen to enjoy a particular activity so my wife and I have taken them twice to said activity. Today the other child's parents decided to take them to an event and we dropped our daughter off at their house this morning.
Situation: This afternoon they came to our house to drop off our daughter. They have an autistic son who as soon as the door opened, stepped into our place and the father, despite saying 'So sorry, we don't mean to intrude', stepped into the room right behind his son. My wife is in the middle of planting seeds (very long growth tropical plants), so the kitchen was a mess, there were dirty dishes on the counter, there are seeding pots and dirt everywhere, and I was in the middle of hanging shelves so there were tools and dust and parts. I was congenial while they were here, but after they'd gone I muttered half to myself half to my wife 'I can't stand it when people walk in without being expressly invited, it's fucking rude.' She became defensive and ended up feeling sad because I was offended and irate (not at her, at the parent of the other kid). I tried to comfort her, explaining my perspective, that unless expressly invited I would not consider stepping in to someone's house, and unless the visit was expected and planned I would assume the invitation was pro forma and still not enter unless I either had a long term relationship with the family, or the invitation was repeated. This situation was neither; there was no implied invitation until after they were already in and my wife said 'please come in' nor was there a planned visit.
This particular situation was complicated by his son who is, I'd venture to say, autistic, and the kid led the way in. I've lived for 10 years next to a severely autistic child who had been taught to not wander into houses uninvited, and whose parents bent over backwards to prevent their child from being an inconvenience to the neighborhood, and in doing so earned the welcome and earnest support of all of us.
I dunno, I still feel like what the father allowed his son, and then in turn, him, to do was very rude and I don't think I am wrong for being perturbed.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lH3hhkMsKuZvVwBWfcuMjuIL5vUTcRDC | b4g8b6 | {
"description": "paiding for a Switch with 125 bills",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I paid for a Switch with 125 bills? | I recently rediscovered a sum of money that I was saving up a few years ago, and wish to spend it on a new Switch. If I go to gamestop and pay with a ludicrous amount of bills, would I be an asshole? I would really prefer if I didnt have to deposit it into a bank but that's really the only other option.
I think they will take the money anyways, but I dont really know if doing something like this would really cause any issues. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ijRfXERYZHKBwOknFpMUU0lOzqrvv1qb | acl8qf | {
"description": "not wanting anyone outside of my household to have access to our WiFi video baby monitor",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting anyone outside of my household to have access to our WiFi video baby monitor? | Tl;dr at the bottom
So we have a baby monitor in our infants room. It is a video monitor that connects to WiFi, and if you have the login information, you can download the app and view a constant stream of our monitor from any mobile device through the internet (anywhere in the world, don’t need to be close).
I am the one that bought it so that’s why I set up the login info and SO didn’t have it memorized. He recently asked for it and I believe it is to give out to people in his family because he is already logged in on his devices and the app doesn’t typically log you out (in a year I’ve never had to log in past the initial login)
Some info, I typically share the room with our child separate from SO who sleeps and has all his things in another room. Mostly because we don’t have space in his room for both our things with our current living situation and also because he is loud in the mornings and I sleep in until our child is awake. So this is the room where I get dressed and sleep most nights as well. The monitor shows pretty much just the inside of the crib and a little of the room around the edges of the crib , but it still picks up all sound in the room.
Am I the asshole for just being uncomfortable about anyone outside our household having a constant stream to that camera at any time or am I overreacting
Tl;dr: SO wants to give login to a video monitor that constantly streams in a room I mostly share with our child, to family members outside our household | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mJ83yyAGLAML6DnpUDuDkhCk5TqBiT8I | aa6kpa | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my friends while they do weed",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with my friends while they do weed? | Me and my friends have had a small New Years party planned. We were going to play Smash and exchange secret santa gifts.
All of a sudden a guy going to the party suggested that he’d bring weed brownies.
About half of my friends enthusiastically agreed. There’s about 10 people going to the party and maybe 5 people want to do it.
Honestly, I just don’t like drugs at all so I said I’d probably skip the party if they did. Since then, they’ve called me close-minded, said ‘I don’t have a reason not to go’, saying I’m being unreasonable because they’re not pressuring me to do it, and that this is the only time they’ll ever do it, etc etc. My boyfriend is mad at me too for not wanting to go.
I just don’t feel comfortable at a party with weed! I know it’s a soft drug but I just don’t like it. Am I really being so much of an asshole, reddit? I just feel like it’s unfair that I need some extremely good reason to not like weed, while they can just do it because they feel like it. It doesn’t change my opinion of them at all, we all experiment, I just don’t want to be around it personally.
They kept asking me about WHY I don’t like weed, saying that if I’m okay with alcohol I should be okay with weed too. (I don’t like alcohol either.) I told them some family had drug problems(including weed) that led to a bad life path, they said “but how do you know it was the weed that led to a bad life? Your family members might have been predisposed to a bad life anyway.” Basically making excuses and further prying into my personal life. I wasn’t comfortable with this.
I did say, ‘can’t you do it any other day?’ because they were trying to figure out how to
make it work between those who wanted to do it and those who didn’t, which maybe came off as rude and demanding. Otherwise I’ve never tried to like blackmail them from not doing it by saying I wouldn’t come, although I guess it could come off that way.
Am I too much of a goody two shoes? Am I being the asshole and stopping my friends from having fun? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
uxh5qyNKRkiKJBWd5kZuMw4qp3YWaKGf | 9wji45 | {
"description": "not wanting to stay an extra hour at work because they are short staffed",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to stay an extra hour at work because they are short staffed? | I work as a waiter part time. Since im 17 and in full education, I only do friday and weekends depending on the rota. Well on sunday, I was to work 12pm-3pm, and mid shift the team leader of whatever its called asked me to stay and extra hour.
I didn't because since I had work friday and saturday I hadn't done my homework. (I know an hour isn't much but I sorta couldn't be bothered). Plus the lunch rush was starting to end.
The shift leader was going on about why I never stay for extra hours. I told her because I go to school and need to put that first. Then out of nowhere another waiter decides to 'one up' me by saying "I have a daughter, and I still stay when I'm told to, why dont you stay?". I did get a bit sassy and say in a normal voice "its not my problem that the manager didn't do the rota properly".
The shift leader decided to let me finish at 3pm. I went home. Thing is that I finished my homework the hours before by shift began at home and I just wanted some time to chill because I was busy all weekend and hardly every get time to myself. If I told the shift leader I wanted to chill she would of made me stay. But still... I cleared my section and stayed a few minutes extra to finish bits and left.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3KkAydXZJQJdBwzHNj7YgTD5tP5VXDJZ | au45rf | {
"description": "going bowling without my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For going bowling without my girlfriend | My roommates and I (3 other people) have gotten into bowling recently and we've been going pretty often. My girlfriend, who also lives with me, was okay with it for a couple weeks but now refuses to go bowling because she "doesnt like it". Shes pretty good at it and we all seem to have a good time when she goes.
Now she gets mad when I go with the rest of my roommates since she gets left at the house alone. I spend pretty much the whole day with her and when the time comes that all my roommates want to go bowling she makes me feel guilty that I'd rather go than spend time with her. We usually go a couple times a week as well as Friday and Saturday nights.
She's also been upset with me lately since I just decided that I cant go on a 200 mile hike with her this summer since I cant afford the time off work. So i think shes quick to judge anything I want to do for the time being.
Thanks for your time
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nJG5fNSJrT7m7P39wVmu865fbGwEgT5r | asx2ab | {
"description": "saying that I love my family more than my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for saying that I love my family more than my girlfriend? | For context, I met my girlfriend on a dating app and absolutely adore her. I have no qualms in saying that I love her however when she once posed the question as to whether I love her more than my own family, she wasn’t pleased with the response.
I told her that whilst I definitely love her quite a lot, my family is very important to me and my love for them is just greater than hers. I said to her that I don’t think there’s a need to compare such a thing because I simply love her unconditionally just like my family and that should be okay.
She tried not to show it but she was clearly upset at the fact and we just decided to go to sleep rather than argue the point anymore.
AITA for having this conversation with her? I wouldn’t want to lie and say that I love her more than anything in the world and I truly do value my family to a high degree. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
thw7z3uA9h1s8ZPNVbVjgMS9qPC0n6xV | a48p9o | {
"description": "putting a note on a guy's windshield? while's he's in the car. tailgaiting",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for putting a note on a guy's windshield? While's he's in the car. Tailgaiting. | Guy's tailgaiting me on a slow (25 mph) road for quite some time. Cars are in front of me so I couldn't go faster. I did not feel the need to pull over and let him by. Presumably that was just the way he drove.
I tapped by brakes repeatedly. Didn't work. Two times I gradually slowed down, roll my window down and with my hand make a pushing motion, hand vertical moving toward him, to signal to back off. *(Obviously we do not have a good hand signal to "back off.")* He did not get the message. I would then speed up again to keep pace with traffic. I did this procedure several times, but it didn't work.
He kept tailgaiting. Really close.
I had paper and tape in the car. My wife in the car with me wrote a small note *Stop Tailgaiting!* At a red light I jumped out of my car and quickly went to his car and taped it to his windshield. Note was small (3 inch square) and I taped in to the low left side where it would not interfere with his vision at all. (He was white, like me; I presumed he could read English.)
He starts lamming on his car horn. He was an old guy. I'm middle aged. I presumed it was not going to get into a physical road rage dispute, not from my end, anyways. I did it real fast--maybe 4 seconds total. Jumped back in my car quickly. Felt it was preferable to any verbal exchange.
He kept honking for some time. But it worked: *He stopped tailgaiting.*
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xJ3TwI2N7MNhM1Z7wL3z8XNNxI7dNbrM | aon9gn | {
"description": "cutting a friend out of my life after he failed to hang out multiple times with there being an excuse every time",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for cutting a friend out of my life after he failed to hang out multiple times with there being an excuse every time? | So I (26m) have a mate (26m) who I've been good mates with for roughly 7 years give or take, we confide in each other for a lot of things, if I was to get married he would be my best man. We used to hang out a few times a week, but obviously as we have gotten older, girlfriends, jobs. Etc, that time is significantly less frequent.
A bit of background info regarding our jobs. Im a shift worker who does 4 days a week for 12 hours ranging from days, arvos and nights. This alone has reduced my friend circle a lot due to potentially working any day or the week, being weekends, public holidays and other days.
He does 10pm-6am, 5 days a week. This significantly affects the time that we can hang out and meet without having a schedule conflict. In the past when we have hung out its usually for lunch, dinner, or linner (combo of both like brunch).
A few months ago we organised to hang out. We set up a time and date in the arvo, 5 days from the inital message to hang out. He messaged me roughly 6 times in the week to confirm the time and date with me telling him the time and date each time.
Fast forward to the day we are meant to meet up, I didn't eat due to meeting up with him from lunch. I didn't get a message or phone call at all that day. I message him at 4pm giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he may have forgot. I didnt get a reply until 2 hours later stating "oh shit i forgot". I was rather annoyed as he messaged me 6 times in the days leading up to it, to confirm the date and time. His reply was "cunt, you know I forget shit all the time".
(Just for context, in Australia cunt is basically another word for mate). I pretty much told him he was an adult and needed to take more responsiblity for his actions as he is an adult. He then tried to change the subject asking if I knew some random person. I ignored him for a few days after this as there was no apology on his behalf. It was him basically trying to put the blame back on me.
A week after I spoke to him on the phone and told him that it wasn't on as I don't much time off from work so I value my time and would rather spend it with people who want to hang out with me. He eventually apologised after i reminded him that he never even apologised for it, and we moved on.
We organised again to meet up a few weeks after with me making sure he knew the date and time. The exact same thing happened, only this time his excuse was that he fell asleep. Once again no apology, I suggested maybe if he knew he was hanging out with someone at a specific time and date he set a reminder, or even an alarm to wake up.
We moved past it and hung out a few times beteeen then and the most recent incident.
Fast forward to a few days ago we went through the same rigmarole. We were meant to meet up at 2pm for lunch, he event said that he had set and alarm and wanted to go to the gym afterwards and blah blah blah.
Exact same thing happened again, I didn't eat and waited until 3.30pm before I messaged with "sick hangout, lets do it again sometime". I didn't get a reply until 4.30pm from him stating "bro I was asleep -_-".
I completely ignored him as once again no apologies just roughly 20 phones calls and messages asking why I wasn't talking to him. I'm more pissed off as I could've organised to hang our with other friends I haven't seen in a while but instead i waited almost a whole day before I got told by him that we weren't hanging out.
I'm at that point where I'm contemplating not talking to him anymore. There has been other stuff in the past that has happened but i feel this is the straw that broke the camels back.
WIBTA if i was to cut all contact with my friend?
Tl:dr: Best mate and I were meant to hang out on three separate occasions and each time he ghosted me with an excuse. I had to ask for an apology each time. Considering cutting him out of my life. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PCu72CHzHYuu8OsNcSx8laGnZxeX1k61 | a8vov7 | {
"description": "feeling uncomfortable around my uncle",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling uncomfortable around my uncle? | I feel like an asshole for it because I can't specifically pinpoint a reason. I mean for one thing I rarely see some family members so I naturally feel a bit awkward when I do go and visit but I feel it even more with him? He's in his late fifties and has lived at my grandparents house his whole life- which I think is more of a shame than anything else- but he's never kept the house clean (layers of dust) and never goes outside or socialises. I think there's a bigger issue in his life that he needs help with that's beyond what I can do, but at the same time it makes for very uncomfortable visits. His social skills are a bit off, awkward laughter, heavy breathing, long monologues about either (a) controversial topics everyone in the surrounding area disagrees with but is too polite to say (b) topics he knows hundreds of facts about but we know nothing. Obviously being in a house filled with grime and dust is not very pleasant either. My parents have been telling me lately that he specifically keeps asking after me, which I guess sure I'm his niece, I started uni and we share some interests, is understandable. But also still makes me uncomfortable because I already just feel weird around him. I don't know. I think I am a little bit the asshole because we're family, there has been no inciting incident to cause discomfort and he's just a really isolated, socially awkward guy. Obviously when we meet I chat and would never be unfriendly but I just don't like being around him or having him be so interested in me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SMEVDV7PjuYv8RtJjavAO4eJrUHpsfNf | a9l7lv | {
"description": "being pissed my SO was considering buying a nazi flag for historical purposes",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for being pissed my SO was considering buying a nazi flag for historical purposes | Went to a flea market in rural MA. One stand had a lot of war themed memorial. My SO and his son were looking at the items and already bought a deactivated grenade and a helmet. My SO was considering buying a wartime nazi flag, it was ragged and old. The lady selling said it was a “historic prince” ... I basically did everything in my power to stop to transaction. I was pissed. I was convinced the sellers were just nazi sympathizers and wanted to celebrate nazi memorabilia. My SO isn’t convinced and to this day 6 mon later is a little bitter I didn’t let him buy it. In his view, history is history, good or bad we should keep around artifacts of any time. He is not a nazi, in fact his ancestry has experienced a lot of persecution. I said the only way he could buy that if he immediately burned it cause Fuck the fucking nazis. AITA | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
tRc55QVnS0xG1XsI5zQr1lqutvX1RvUa | a9p8xi | {
"description": "trying to take-baksies a color swap",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for trying to take-baksies a color swap. | Basically, for christmas, my sister and I each got Bose SoundSport free earbuds (My idea). I got the color that was Very dark blue/black on the outside, and neon yellow on the inside, while she got the ones that were orange on the outside and black inside. My parents said we could swap colors if we wanted.
Today, I decided to swap colors, because I was afraid neon yellow might be too noticable if I listened to music in class. My sister agreed. But, while I was getting her earbuds from her room to swap, I noticed the orange was on the outside, which makes it *much* more noticable than my original earbuds. I tried to cancel the swap, but she refused, and now I'm stuck with ultra-visible orange ones, while she has discreet black ones.
Also, just wanna tack this on, WIBTA if I tried to swap back the colors at night without her knowing? (Considering I tried to take-back before the earbuds swapped hands) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
tRwDUzvldwji8l4ER93adlCXC1LiOLVa | b5z3gj | {
"description": "not brining more to the table",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not brining more to the table? | AITA for not being more useful for my organization?
My organization is made out of jeans and suit people. Jeans are my types; blue-collar workers and suits are admins and project managers.
I have a Ph.D but have been called an asshole for declining projects that make use of my Ph.D. as it is not in my current work detail. There is an appropriate pay scale for the type of work I am asked to do outside of my current detail that suits are not willing to pay for. They want to ask me to be on loan on their projects while still my branch paying me for the detail I was assigned.
I am always down to make more money, but the suits do not want me to officially work for them nor bring me formally through the reassignment process into their branch. Their rationality is that I work for the organization regardless so I should do the detail.
I just keep do what I do in the meantime.
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
exVIFmvthWhH3gxqP5RlOFPjaYNPASXy | agjxkq | {
"description": "\"hitting\" my so",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for "hitting" my SO? | So my fiance Joe and I have a pretty good relationship. This story has a few parts to understand where it's coming from.
Tldr- I sometimes in good fun wack my fiance and he went awhal
Joe and I were messing around, I was wacking him with a sock and he was wacking me with a knitted hat. We were laughing, joking, having fun. He goes to walk away and as he does I hit him with a pair of underwear on his leg, he then went awhal and screamed at me about hitting him and how hes told me to stop.....which stems from 2 other times....
We were in the car and I was getting business done for him on the phone. They needed his ID number so I let him know preumptively. When I got to an agent and they asked the number I was miming to him to indicate for the ID number while saying something on the phone about getting the number. He didnt respond so I started tapping his shoulder (I didnt think it was hard, he did) and he eventually understood.
A few days later we were driving and his hand was in my lap, I warned him of the upcoming school zone and when we got there he sped up to like 23 in a 20 as a "joke" and my anxiety went through the roof so I started wacking his hand telling him to *slow down*
I also regularly slap his ass and sometimes I miss and hit a bit too high which I know can hurt, but so does he.
I also slap his face with my boobs often which he is receptive to and encourages, but I know that can hurt?
I also will lightly slap his man boob as a joke because he likes to do the same to mine
When we later fought because he screamed at me he said he was sick of me hitting him and refused to discuss the issue past that, despite the fact he was joking *with* me and showed no social cues of being bothered by the sock fest. He then said discussing it made him uncomfortable and wanted to just drop it.
I have already agreed I would not mess with him except in certain ways anymore, but I'd like to know if I'm truly wrong or if he overreacted
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
tR3H9ZyJaX7lPajpsiVC01verI1jFVSG | ax8tb6 | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to go to prom with another guy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go to prom with another guy? | Ok so I started dating this girl about 3 months ago after being close friends for about 5 months. Prom has always been a common topic for us because she goes to an untraditional school so they don't have their own prom. Not a big deal, my school has a prom so we would just go to that. But here is where it gets complicated. She had already promised another guy (lets call him M) years ago that she would go to prom with him. I knew about this beforehand but I assumed that him knowing she had a boyfriend would mean that it would probably not work out. But I was wrong. M was still planning on going with my girlfriend. When he brought it up to her she called me.
I was just getting back from work when i got her call. She said that M was still expecting to go with her and she was wondering when my prom was so the dates wouldn't overlap. Ultimately if they were on the same day she would go with me, she made that clear. So she was planning on going to two proms, one with M and one with me. She then asked "you're ok with this right?" I hesitated a little but then said it was ok. Huge mistake. After that call i started immediately thinking the whole situation, but it wasn't until I spoke about it to my friends did i realise how much I disliked the arrangement. I texted her later that day saying that the idea of her going to prom with another guy, friend or not, made me feel uncomfortable. We have a pretty secure relationship but this was a bit to much for me. She said she wasn't going to do anything that made feel uncomfortable so she cancelled her plans with M. She feels bad about it because he was really excited about it and she had already confirmed with him and his parents that shr would be going with him. I also felt bad but I hoped he would understand. Now M isn't even talking to my girlfriend and I feel like my girlfriend deep down is pissed that I ended their friendship. Am I the asshole for not wanting my girlfriend to go to prom with another guy?
TLDR: I asked my girlfriend to cancel her prom plans with another guy and now he won't even talk to her | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ljP1rveBXxNayL46ZDTNul2XLwPd9wVI | b0u37l | {
"description": "drawing a butt on my friend's test",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for drawing a butt on my friend’s test? | My friend and I are both high schoolers. We had to partner-grade a test so I swapped my test with hers and I was immensely bored, so I stared doodling on her test. Before anyone says anything about how I should’ve gotten permission before messing around with other people’s belongings, yea I probably should’ve asked but also normally she’s fine with it as she also doodles on mine.
But this time I drew centaurs and foxes and one backshot of a naked woman, like of a Classical Greek statue (ie not crude) and she’s been whaling on me about how inappropriate it was and told her mom who then scolded me etc. I made the conscious decision not to draw anything explicit but apparently I forgot a butt crack was considered inappropriate (is it? I really don’t know.) I told her I was sorry and would keep it in mind but it still doesn’t feel good. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
li84zmjIltsIyhS9cHbrpRCag7kuB0P7 | b00lnv | {
"description": "calling my dad a meathead",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for calling my dad a meathead? | I (F16) live with my parents and my half-brother (19). My dad has always badmouthed students/universities and said that they are lazy and useless and don't know how to work, so he doesn't want either of us to go to uni. Also uni isn't completely free here and from what my brother has told me especially the study materials can be quite expensive. My brother already went to high school against his wishes and he's doing very well and wants to go to uni to study computer science, which means that he'll have to commute an hour by train to the uni.
This really pissed my dad off and he told him that he should just get training and start working to earn money. He also said that he wasn't paying for his train tickets and study fees (bro's law teacher said dad has no choice but to pay) and that he could move out if he doesn't get a job.
His mom never stands up for him because my dad is a lot more dominant than her, she often just goes along without saying much. I don't think he'd be happy with a trained job, and dad says really stupid things sometimes. I told him just because he was a meathead doesn't mean that my brother has to become one as well, and that if he makes my brother move out, I'd move out with him as well. This really worked because my dad is always overprotective and spoiling me, so he hasn't complained again. AITA for threatening my dad and calling him a meathead?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
dOGGsWajAse4sQey7y4VInadFNLMGJPJ | anrvhi | {
"description": "telling someone Friday weddings suck",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling someone Friday weddings suck? | Friend is getting married and wants to do Friday wedding. I shared that I think Friday weddings are awful because it sucks to rush after work and I always have more fun on Saturday weddings. Also sucks for ppl in the wedding having to take Friday off and possibly thurs for rehearsal.
Friend and their family completely yelled that I’m being hurtful and I’m wrong and everyone will make the accommodation and have fun.
Also, money not an issue here. Price the same for Friday vs sat weddings. Their argument is they don’t want huge gap on sat between church and reception.. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
SO18xPSGB1KERDA2nC9NZSqfYghdBxo5 | a5mdgc | {
"description": "denying this woman a seat at a hospital",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for denying this woman a seat at a hospital? | Preface this with a disclaimer- i do not believe in equality of the sexes. A man has to conduct himself with a certain degree of gentlemanliness, if you will. I always open doors for women, offer a hand if something they're carrying seems too heavy, seat on public transport, etc. And teach my two sons that.
That said, this particular happened about five days ago. I was in the ER with a pretty severe chest infection- my fever was nearly at 40 C, and i was in rotten shape. The waiting area of the hospital has about ten seats- the only one available was next to me.
A couple walked in with a baby- let's call them Dimwit Husband (DH) and Stupid Wife (SW). DH takes the free seat next to me, while SW is standing.
About five minutes later,
SW: Excuse me, could i sit down there?
Me- where?
SW- Could i ask you to give me that seat. I've been holding my daughter since we got here.
Me (now genuinely flabbergasted)- sorry- ask your husband to carry your daughter. He's sitting right next to me.
Sw: he's been at work for the last 20 hours. Is it going to hurt you to give up your place for a child?
Me- excuse me, are you stupid or fucking blind? I'm in the emergency department of a hospital, and you ask ME to give you a seat, instead your fucking husband here?
SW: Excuse me- what did you just say?
DH finally steps in with this gem
DH: Put her in her pram. Evidently courtesy is too much to ask for.
I turned and told him to piss off, when two doctors heard the altercation and stepped in. They offered her a wheelchair to use, and she went off muttering to herself. DW chose to go STAND with her at the other end of the room.
Honestly, i wouldn't have minded if i wasn't as ill as i was. What further annoyed me was that the guy in no way made an effort to give up his seat for his own wife and infant daughter, and chose to be shitty about it. The most aggravating part- hospital staff acting like i was part of the problem. Fuck that.
Am i the asshole here- or is this fucking prick the problem? I have been in an ineffective rage for the last five days over this shit. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
ZJgX9D0HDee9n02NA9Ezb288WrIZK6NT | at6br9 | {
"description": "not waiting for this girl",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not waiting for this girl? |
I had a crush on this girl in 11th grade. I asked her for notes and it all started from there. As I started getting to know her better, I started liking her even more. She was smart, thoughtful, and very pretty. We had plenty of similar interests from films and music to our careers. I believed that she was the one for me & I would never find someone like her.
But, she was dating someone in a different city for 2 years. It seemed to be going well. However, a week before our final exams, she called me, in tears, saying how he had broken up with her.
When we met after the exams, she confessed to me that she liked me, I told her I liked her too. Confused abt her ex, she said she wasn’t sure what to do, and me, being an idiot, told her that it was probably better to go with her ex. The reason I said that, instead of suggesting we get together, was that I was headed abroad for Uni and was skeptical about a LD relationship. Also, I thought that if she started to like me while she was in a long distance, she might end up liking someone while I was away.
She decided that she was no longer interested in dating anyone at all until she got her 5 year degree. I accepted that, being heartbroken. Tbf, I kinda did tell her to move on and focus on her career, and didn't present myself as an option, only hinting at it.
I went abroad for my degree soon. A few months in, I asked her how she was and she said she was much better. I then asked her how she felt about me and if she wanted to try a long distance relationship. She said she wasn’t interested in dating anyone and that if I wanted to date her, I would wait for her to get her degree. I asked if she still had feelings for me, to which she didn’t bother responding. I told her that it wouldn’t make sense for me to wait for her, unless she felt the same way about me, but she said that I should wait regardless. We stopped talking altogether later.
I contacted her after months and we got back to talking. I once again expressed my feelings to her, and she regurgitated the whole wait for me bit. I said that if she didn’t have any feelings, I would never again bother her about it again. I wanted her to be a part of my life, even if only as a friend.
After some time, she said she wanted to start calling regularly to keep in touch, but she would always come up with an excuse last moment. She would just say that she was too busy.
When I’d go back home, she would make me wait for an hour minimum and would refuse to admit fault in the slightest.
What really got to me was when I had to fly back when my grandmother passed away. When I. told her, all she said was ‘heartfelt condolences’. She didn’t bother asking how I was doing, or how I was dealing with it.
It took me over 3 years to finally see how selfish she truly was. She kept me a back-up just in case she didn’t find anyone else.
I can see how me asking her abt her feelings for me could make me seem like an ass. So, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qGsQemhv9nBoOpUDkzB75eJDnuDvjoWi | 9vh7fj | {
"description": "not wanting to wake back up to help my brother with homework he knew he had all night",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to wake back up to help my brother with homework he knew he had all night? | It was 10:00pm and my house knows I (17m), go to bed at 9:15pm. My mother comes and wakes me up to make me help him and I said it isn’t my problem and I shouldn’t have to worry about someone who doesn’t try on their work anyways. She snapped yelled at him, “Your brother is gonna make you fail.” Am I an asshole for being annoyed that I was woken up? I can’t go to sleep later or I fall asleep in class. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
iNvBlwS1hfzYy7o5C7TvbyH0KnnymQUj | 9wvic9 | {
"description": "having tons of performance anxiety and kinda blaming it on my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA I have tons of performance anxiety and i kinda blame it on my girlfriend. | We have been dating for let's say? A year now and I am still virgin, my girlfriend is not. But we have VERY strict parents and rarely have the opportunity to actually experiment with sex, but with the pressure of living up to the standards of my girlfriends last sexual experience (which was her first)
But once her mom left the house after almost 7 months of waiting to be alone we finally had our chance. The problem being that I was putting on the condom when I thought it had a tear in it, and I got really annoyed and mad because this was our ONLY chance in a matter of 7 months, and I want to pleasure her physically and mentally and lose my virginity and her last experience sexually being not good ( I won't go into it but it was a bad choice for her age at that time) so I wanted to "blank" out that section of bad times and replace it with some good ones (I can see where some of these points are deemed selfish but I just wanted to show her a good time).
Back to where I got mad after breaking of the condom, I got mad and annoyed and took it off put on my cloths and went into the living room. Yelled "Fuck!" And sat down mumbling to myself about how stupid I am. And my girlfriend came into the living room and tried to cheer me up but didn't really say a word.
Later that night, after hating on myself for hours, I get a text from my girlfriend saying "hey can I tell my sister what Happened?" I then say sure. But then I ask her " have you already told her?" She responded saying her she did. Which is rude enough from my POV because she completely told her sister everything. And this is hands down the most embarrassing thing to every happen to me. I just started to sob I felt pathetic and stupid. But eventually I got over it that night and woke up the next day alright but still kinda hating on myself. My girlfriend atfter school then tells me how they both laughed about it in her sister's car, and I could have not felt worse. My first time trying to have sex and it's just bullied by my girlfriend and her sister who on their first times had successful sex. And they laughed at someone who messed up the first time.
Idk if I'm the asshole for thinking like this but after that all three times we tried to have sex after that failed, because of my performance anxiety
So please judge me, hate me or agree with me. Just please try to give me something to ease this thought. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5EVYdQC3KZuwHL3gqffsj9lmSUaVKgUx | b6pls9 | {
"description": "getting mad when my friend blocked me cuz she didn't want me in her life",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For getting mad when my friend blocked me cuz she didn't want me in her life? | Ok so basically I had this friend. We were really close until at one point where we just kinda stopped talking, and I went on about it until I decided I wanted to talk to her to try and get back in touch. So obviously I decided to try to text her, but I couldn't find her Instagram handle. So I ask a friend and she said she blocked me because she didn't want me in her life. I was a bit distraught, yet I had no way to contact her anyways, so I never said anything to her or anything aggressive to her friend, but I was mad with myself. Am I wrong for being mad, and should I try to find a way to get back in touch with her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
0fzEp8f4mi8WdX9orSvsbqtng4c4y80C | a2agpp | {
"description": "being fine with my brother's hate group",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being fine with my brother's hate group. | He's in a male supremacy group that's based online but they have meetings in person. I guess our parents found out about one of these meetings. They are just freaking out. My mom was in tears. My dad nearly kicked him out. While I'm just sitting here not caring at all. My brother explained a lot to me and he made very valid points (Do I agree though? Of course not.). I'm just the mediator. He's eighteen and he's legally obligated to do whatever he wants. I literally give no fucks. So what? I have no clue where any of this came from but it's fine. They're acting like he came out again but they're homophobic now. Like, I don't get the big deal. I get it but I don't. You know? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
R1bfpG3f31scfGrsSOrWssYfFSXoNgtn | 9w3bq4 | {
"description": "not wanting to visit my mentally abusing step mother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to visit my mentally abusing step mother? | Ill try and make this short as possible without leaving anything out.
My biological mother passed away from cancer when i was 9 and my brother was 7. Before my mother getting sick and her passing, she divorced my father and he remarried. Now i dont know if something happened between my mother and my step mother, but she would almost refuse to let me and my brother to see her before her passing. My father would just blow it off and take her side. Fast forwarding a few years i found out she was lying about all of this to her son. Telling him that she would always talk mad shit about her and her son (my step brother). She would not invite my mothers side of the family to graduation parties, school band concerts, sports games, because she didnt want the "drama" and other things such as that. I am now 20 years old and in the military overseas. I have no intention of staying home on leave, i told her that i am going to stay in a hotel while at home, kind of playing it off. But i know she knows why i am not going to stay at home on leave. And is questioning why. My brother is also backing my decision. As he plans to get out of the house soon to get away from her. She would not send pictures to anyone on my mothers side of the family of us growing up. This made them feel like they did something wrong, and made me and my brother feel like we were nothing. We were constantly scared to say anything in that house, due to the fact that she would scream at us and bring something up about my mother and how im "just like her." We were afraid to speak up for or about anything, even scared to ask whats for dinner.
My father is also talking to me and my brother about the possibility of splitting because he feels that she is taking advantage of him. She quit her job to stay at home, makes him buy her cigs and other stupid shit that she should work for herself and pay for.
I feel like an asshole for not visiting, but i dont want all those bad memories coming back. I have no intention on even seeing her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ajc4pp0EbO97anKDTtKguxKAYrLolA7m | 9zn2ub | {
"description": "not wanting anything to do with my step mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting anything to do with my step mom? | I can tell so hard that my step mom doesn't like me. Here's some context:
When we had a DCFS case on us at a point when things weren't going so good due to false accusations from another person, my step-mom blame the whole thing on me for not going to school. I and my mother, sister and step dad do not believe in school. She's been really mean to my bisexual sister at some points by continuously implying that she should get her hair dyed rainbow. It's like walking on eggshells with her around because you can't make a single joke without her being offended. Seriously.
She has done a lot for me though, as she help support my indie game development company in supplying an upgraded computer for me, and she has helped me in that kind of way most of the time she's lived with my dad. But at the end of the day I don't believe that that was her doing that from her heart if you know what I mean. I think that was my dad having her help me. I'm going to answer questions if any of this is unclear.
She isn't completely terrible either. When my sister can't drive dude her crappy car, she comes and picks us up but again I think that's my dad asking her to help out.
Reddit am I the asshole?
Ps: on mobile, sorry for formatting. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IAk2ngPS8foQBIyEEriN3IJlQz1rjKGL | ay3hg0 | {
"description": "making a joke with my ex-bff that went a tiny bit too far",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA For making a joke with my ex-bff that went a tiny bit too far? (She went Super Saiyan on me) | Okay so this happened about half a year ago when Me and my ex-bff (A) were still friends. We were best friends for 2 years and I really thought that she was the best friend ever. Me an A had so much in common. But the thing is, I was really depressed and self-conscious while we were friends, and she was the last thing I thought would be the cause.
A had recently had a habit of raging at me for the tiniest things, so this could have been one of the causes of the incident.
So basically, I commented ‘ew’ on all of her pictures on Instagram. I thought it would be obvious it was a joke, but little did know it would cause A to go ABSOLUTE SUPER SAIYAN ON ME. Long story short, lots of texts from her and her friend (L) that was over her house, (A had lied that she had to go shopping with her family so that L could go over instead of hanging out with me), lots of videos, and texts every day for about a week. I was an absolute wreck during the whole thing.
She has replaced me with this awful person she called a friend in seconds. The thing is, I’m pretty sure that we had known L for only a couple of months and I’m pretty sure all the bad things in between me and her had started when she arrived. The punchline is that L abandoned A a month or two later to hang out with ‘the cool kids’. L wasn’t ever the nicest person to me (idk why she didn’t like me because I had done nothing to her), so it is possible that she had convinced A to go Super Saiyan on me.
When I stopped being friends with A I had gained so much self-confidence. I feel like this is important.
So there you have it. So it begs the question, who’s the asshole? Me, A or L?
(No mean comments please) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
zRY5Cnbuyyffd0WwmkWv97YXAEFg9Mv9 | a9tp3r | {
"description": "not wanting to baptize my kid",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to baptize my kid | TL, DR at the bottom
Sorry for spelling and editing, i am in mobile, english is my second language, and i am pretty much drunk now, but:
I am having a girlfriend for 2 years now, she is not deeply religious, but she belives in christian dogma. I, on the other hand, am completly against any kind of religion. On a day to day basis, i can shut up and i am not sharing my opinions or arguments with anybody else, especially religious people, because i know that it won.t lead to any change in theyr belive system or anything. Except when i am having a glass or two, after this, i simply cannot shut up, especially in the religion area. I feel the need inside to make them understand that they are beeing irrational and/or dellusional.
And so, i am discussing with some friends, and my girlfriend the possibility of us getting married. My girlfriend says that she is not considering the possibility of getting married in any other place that a church. I say ok, i can live with that, not a big deal, it.s our decision, as adults who understand what they are doing. But then, she goes onto saying that she is also not considering the possibility of our chirldren not beeing baptisied, and thus beeing christians right after they are born. Now, don.t get me wrong, if, or when i will have a children, he or she cand be anything he or she wants to be, in every aspect. Gay, transgender, christian, muslim, budhist, white, black, blue, doesn.t matter to me, it will be my kid and i will love the crap out of it no matter what. But, what i won.t accept is the thinking that we, as parents, are entitled to make such a big decision for our kids (to baptize them), at an age when they cannot possibly understand what we are doing to them. It will affect my life too much to baptize my kid? No. It will affect my kid.s life if it will be christian? Probabbly no. This means tacking a decision for my kid, that i am not entitled to? From my point of view, yes. I am willing to baptize my kid for the sake of my girlfriend or wife? No. I won.t take that decision for them, no matter what, i think that they should take this decision, if they feel the need. i won.t make any decision for them that are not legally requested, such as naming my kid. For this, i am the asshole, as she is now very upset on me. You decide if i am or not. Sorry for long post
TL, DR: girlfriend says that she wants to baptize our (possible) children. We are not planning to have a kid right now, is pure theoretical. I don.t want to baptize my kid, because i don.t want to take such a decision for him or her, girlfriend gets very upset at me | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
G8sfmLaw0EGMGd2fnABhpfO8J5RLpjNB | aym9y6 | null | AITA slept in today and gf is pissed | Hey guys, first time posting here. So just a little background info on the situation. I work midnights and have been on this schedule since later November. My shift is 11pm-7am (just recently got switched to 10pm-6am), I normally sleep when I get home from work to around 3-5pm. My girlfriend usually works 5am-1:30pm so I'm just getting up when she comes home from work and we can spend time together.
So today I got home from work and couldn't fall asleep so I made some food and watched TV for a bit and ended up falling asleep around 9:30am. She came in and woke me up when she got home from work around 1:30pm and later came in with the dog and tried to wake me up at 3:30pm. I told her I was tired and went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 7pm. When I woke up I had a text from her saying "I'm mad at you for sleeping all day, don't talk to me when you get up". So I went on the couch and didn't talk to her and she went to bed without saying a word to me.
When I was getting ready for work around 9:30pm, I went into the bedroom and asked her if she could move her car so I could leave for work as she was parked behind me in the driveway. She said no and told me to move it myself and started yelling at me saying how it's not fair that I can "sleep all day like a princess" and that I can wake her up to move her car. Am I in the wrong for sleeping all day or is she overreacting? Not really sure what to make of this but any opinions are welcome. Thanks! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
LFFuOYPZ2o3eAfX1rwpy3u5mgtJfhHu8 | aoygm8 | {
"description": "wanting my husband and his friend to hang out at his friend's house instead of ours",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting my husband and his friend to hang out at his friend’s house instead of ours? | First off, I don’t hate the guy. We get along, but once a month, him and my husband have a bro time sleepover at our house. It’s loud, obnoxious, they drink and smoke and watch old reruns of wrestlemania and other such nonsense. They usually take both TVs (one for gaming and one for wrestlemania) leaving my with only my laptop for entertainment if I don’t want to deal with bro-fest. Also the way our house is laid out, the only place I can moderately escape them is our bedroom. I’m also two months pregnant, and my tolerance for these shenanigans is at an all time low and it’s not really comfortable for me to be in bed for hours unless I’m sleeping. (No chairs or headboard in the bedroom.)
I’ve asked my husband multiple times if they can do this at his friends house instead of ours, and he absolutely refuses. I don’t think he’s even mentioned it to his friend. His friend is single and lives alone, so there’s no roommates or anything for them to bother. AITA for wanting them to have this monthly tradition over there instead of here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HSZpJCNzH9GHNoSlF2o4fBJK0v4FEXLN | b8fuv8 | {
"description": "potentially ruining my mother's only long term relationship by interrupting her during sex",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for potentially ruining my mother’s only long term relationship by interrupting her during sex?- | Throwaway because a few people know this story so I’d like to keep it away from my main.
This happened a few years ago but I still feel bad about it and get mixed responses when I bring it up, so here goes.
My parents split when I was 3 so I was raised by a single mother most of my life. When I was a teenager, she came out to me as a lesbian (nbd, as soon as I learnt what a “stereotypical lesbian” looked like as a kid, I remember thinking, “huh, like my mum.” so I kinda guessed).
She never really dated though, just a few people here and then. When I was 23, she got into her first long term relationship since my father. The woman was really nice and they got on really well, no issue with her whatsoever.
One night they came home drunk at about 1am from a date. Now, my mother rarely gets drunk. I’ve seen her drunk about twice in my life and we go out drinking together quite a bit. But she was very drunk, very loud and I could hear her laughter 3 floors up.
I had to get up at 6am for work, so I rolled over hoping they’d shut up and go to bed soon. They did. I’m almost falling back to sleep when I hear moaning. Loud moaning. My mum and her girlfriend have very different voices so I can just instinctively tell that it’s her and not the girlfriend. I try to put a pillow over my head and ignore it, I try to hum to myself, I can’t wear earplugs because I’ll miss my alarms. It’s not so loud it would be keeping me awake but it’s the nature of the sound that’s reverberating through my skull and preventing me from sleeping.
It’s about 2am now and it’s not stopping. I really need sleep and I feel kind of insane from listening to this for nearly an hour. I decide I have to stop it, so I call the house phone which is next to her bed. I hear silence for a few seconds while it rings, then she answers very quietly with “Hello?” and I just say, “Sorry, I really need to sleep, I have work in the morning.” She says sorry and I hang up. Dead silence. I fall asleep.
I don’t see the girlfriend again. At all. My mother and I never mention it. Two months later, they break up. A year or so passes and we’re talking about the girlfriend and my mum makes a comment about how “she was always embarrassed to come over again after that night” and I feel awful.
I just wanted to sleep without hearing my mother’s sex noises. I tried to think of the least invasive way to do it, hoping she could’ve made an excuse or something instead of telling her it was me hearing them, but I guess she didn’t. And she hasn’t had a long term relationship since.
AITA? I feel like it.
TL;DR Interrupting my mother having sex with her girlfriend, leading at least partly to them breaking up and ruining her only ever long term relationship since my dad. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 15,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
HowcyCf4Ht6Ai3VKiwaDkQpyQAkYNBAO | aq9s9q | {
"description": "attending my sisters wedding but not being able to afford a gift",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For attending my sisters wedding but not being able to afford a gift? | I recently had to consolidate with the bank and I barely have money to eat after rent and the bank get their portion of my pay. I always intended to get her a gift when I could afford one, but since the wedding both she and her wife started ignoring my texts. Am I the asshole here? Should I go hungry to get her a present just so she will acknowledge me again ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fSiH11Ch4KXSV0ST3e2c0R7idzaONarm | b8tfm7 | {
"description": "thinking it's unfair to send really risky photos of my self to my girlfriend and get upset when she won't do the same",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for thinking it’s unfair to send really risky photos of my self to my girlfriend and get upset when she won’t do the same | Now the title I understand implies that I expect nudes out of her I don’t to be clear
So earlier today I asked my girlfriend is she was going to send nudes like she promised the night prior she said no she’s packing I ended up saying that it feels unfair she took this the wrong way and assumed that I was expecting nudes out of her I was meaning that it feels unfair to send photos like that because I feel extremely weird about sending stuff like that to people but I sent it to her because she asked and I trust her so I also felt like I shouldn’t be the only who feels like this
We got into a big argument and it’s complete BS because I forgive her for everything and she doesn’t let me explain myself ever I got quite pissy with her because it was a first for me and showing my body for some like that instead of trying to understand she tells me I’m disgusting and tells me to fuck off
Tl:dr girlfriend extremely pissed at me because I said it felt unfair for her not to send nudes and misunderstood what I meant
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
HjXL5Wd6jrELCBidO4dh50DGjUUwvhGl | avw8hc | {
"description": "being angry with make-a-wish",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being angry with Make-A-Wish? | I have an incurable, life threatening illness. I was diagnosed with it when I was in elementary school. My disease has nearly killed me multiple times. It stole most of my childhood and it made me miss out on many academic opportunities.
Recently, my family and I found out that Make-A-Wish isn't just for terminally ill kids, it's also for kids with life threatening illness. We spoke to my doctor about applying and he felt that I would qualify due to of the severity of my condition and the fact that Make-A-Wish has already accepted kids with the same condition. He filled out all the paperwork and submitted my application. Almost immediately Make-A-Wish rejected my application. Their reason was that I was no longer sick enough. They said that if I had applied when I was sicker they would have considered me.
We didn't even know I could apply at that point. Even if we did, we wouldn't have. My family thought I was going to die. I was quarantined for my own safety because my immune system was so weak.
Now, when I see kids who have received wishes I feel kind of bitter. Especially the ones who had cancer but are now cancer free. I get so frustrated because most of them will remain cancer free the rest of their lives but I will have to live with my condition forever. It irritates me that they're considered sick enough but I'm not. I'm not even angry that I didn't get a wish. I don't want to be sicker either. Honestly I'm not even sure why I'm so upset. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 4
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
c4MELlSPxMxGR9FS4t6Y3ZhXKttJU40C | altd14 | {
"description": "telling my roommate, whose rent I'm currently paying for, that her BF can't come over anymore",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for telling my roommate, whose rent I'm currently paying for, that her BF can't come over anymore? | To start off, some context: I found my current roommate online. She's very nice and we're courteous to each other, but do not have enough common interest to be considered friends by any means. She moved into a kind of luxury apartment without first having a stable job, but by working odd jobs here and there, she was able to pay rent (albeit somewhat late at times) for the better part of a year. Nice girl, but just doesn't seem to be great with money, probably spent as much as she made.
​
So fast forward to this past month, she's not able to make rent. I talked to her multiple times in the beginning, but was greeted with "I just can't." Then, she gets into a car accident, which sets her back even more. So of course we're talking to the building at this point (only after a lot of prompting from me), and they are pretty accommodating and was willing to wait to see if she can get money together. She was going through a lot, so I tried not to be too obnoxious and didn't probe her too much about it. Eventually, she finally went back home at the end of the month to see if her parents would help her. They won't. At this point, I am beyond frustrated. Even her relatives wouldn't lend money to her, and to save my own credit score, I, someone who doesn't even know her that well, had to end up paying for her rent. And of course, I made her sign a promissory note with me in the hopes that she'll pay me back. At this point, I have just simply decided that it's time for her to move out, and to just find another roommate on my own. She agreed to it, but asked for a week to do it and we tagged on some more rent money to what she owed me to quantify for the week.
Now comes the issue, which is honestly kind of petty in normal circumstances, but I feel that I have already suffered through a lot with this girl. So she has this BF that she brings back home 3-4 nights out of the week. Since they're both nice and unassuming, they go immediately to her room and don't really take up common space in the apartment all that much. However, and this is definitely just a personal preference, I don't really like roommates bringing someone of the opposite sex over, especially when I can hear them doing stuff in their room from time to time (a lot of smacking noises for the most part). It was fine when she was legitimately living here and deserved her space and who she brings over, but now that I'm literally paying for everything, it is irking me even more. I know it's for the last week, but I've really just can't suffer through it anymore. Every time I hear something, I just cringe internally and get very angry (almost unreasonably so). I am thinking of bringing this up to her today and just being honest and telling her that her BF can't be here, and that she should go to his place if they wanna hangout.
Am I being an asshole?
​
Also, any tips on how to approach the topic with her? I've actually been very nice with her even throughout this whole thing, as I know it's a rough time for her, so we actually still have a pretty good rapport, and I don't want to destroy that either... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
IwuPTf8LoDT1tbrYs5ZUkWys7TaL8fX5 | b8i4dc | {
"description": "saying I wouldn't spend more than £1500 on an engagement ring",
"pronormative_score": 75,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For saying I wouldn’t spend more than £1500 on an engagement ring? | okay so I’ve (28/M) been with my GF (25/F) for nearly 4 years. We’re currently on holiday and last night we went out for a couple drinks and she was quite drunk. We had a conversation of what it’s gonna be like when we get married ( we both know it’s not for a good few years yet), it was nice discussing what we both wanted and for the most part I just agreed with her wishes and dream. It was sweet but all hypothetical. Anyway, at one point she said she wants me to give up smoking before we get married, I agreed because I want to too and said I’d make a deal with her that I will give up this year after my birthday in May and if I didn’t I had to buy her some Jimmy Chu’s and if I did I have to spend and extra £1k on the engagement ring.
Now I want to point out that she’s not normally so money driven. Like most girls her age she likes expensive designer things but is definitely not with me for money as I have none. We split bills all the time and tbh as she doesn’t have to pay rent she treats me to small things more often than I treat her.
When I’ve personally thought about weddings I just think it’s a colossal waste of money. If it were entirely up to me it would be a very small affair with only close family and friends in a modest back garden setting with modest wedding stuff. With all the money saved I’d rather spend more on a lovely honeymoon for my bride and I instead of paying for an expensive meal for random family members and friends I barely know. Obviously, it’s not all up to me and I would want her to be happy and get what she wants.. within reason.
When I said I would only spend 1.5k on a ring she got very huffy and told me she’d say No if she didn’t get the ring she wanted. I think marriage should be about love and it shouldn’t matter what ring you get, she should either be happy that I’m asking to spend my life with her or not want to be with me anyway. She stopped talking to me last night and this morning she’s saying it was drunken argument and we should forget it but she stands by everything she said last night.
I feel quite hurt by it and it’s not something that can be swept under the rug as it’s our future. It’s changed my opinion of her and I can’t just stop thinking about it. I love her to death and never felt this way about anyone, we’ve had four lovely years but I’m sure this argument will keep tearing its ugly head. Am I being an arsehole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 61,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 75,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
aSvwjjH6I5yo4S79T7JylVyHDGnJ3kAE | ads0xx | {
"description": "telling my friend my opinion",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my friend my opinion? | On mobile, apologies in advance for spelling and format issues.
I have a friend who is a gay transgender person. He is a leftist, but not in the traditional sense (believes in political systems such as anarchy etc). I am a male, non denominational Christian, more conservative (although I'm not very political minded), and heterosexual/cisgender. Basically we are polar opposites. We usually get along pretty well, with the occasional debate with our other friends in our group about politics, which I usually lose these debates because I'm more of free minded (not really sure how to describe this, basically I just want to be free and happy). Anyways I'll cut to the chase.
So recently, around Christmas time, we got into a texting debate about religion. Which is what I feel I'm strong in debating. Anyways this friend (I'll just say F for short) is basically "slut shaming" the mother of Jesus, and how she probably got raped in a back alley instead of getting pregnant by the holy spirit. He then continued on with different misquotes and false facts from the Bible. This triggered me. I started defending myself, and the debate went really far into the Bible, so far that the topic began to sway twords homosexuality. At one point I said that homosexuality was a sin, and against the Bible. At that point, F just said he was done putting up it and left the group chat. Then he blocked me. We havent spoken since, and as far as I know, F has completely given up on me as a friend (we had been friends since about this time last year, and got closer near the beginning of September it so (beginning of the school year) because we had a bunch of classes together). At this point, I'm starting to think that F was just after next for love (tried to hook up with me around the beginning of the school year, showed all the signs, tried to flirt, etc) until I put a stop to it, saying I wasn't interested in an intimate relationship. And since then we have been friends until this recent debate. So my overall question is: *AITA for debating up to this point and offending F?* Any feedback would be extremely helpful, thanks! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
sSaO6z9SyXBAkojJKyfaFr8wDtu4gppL | actxro | {
"description": "expecting my father to spend more time at home",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for expecting my father to spend more time at home? | So I need a bit of an outside perspective because I can't tell if I'm just being childish.
Background information: I'm 23 years old and temporarily moved back in with my dad while I'm finishing my degree; this has been the first holiday season since my parents split up; dad has been in a new relationship for 5ish months; this isn't really a Christmas problem, it's just worse now than it has been so far; I've talked to him about this before but apparently he doesn't really care, since he's taking it to the extreme right now.
A couple weeks ago my father asked me if I'd be okay with him spending part of the holidays with his long-distance girlfriend. I told him it was a-okay, as long as he spends Christmas Eve at home, because traditionally that's the most important holiday of the year in my family. Initially, he agreed, but apparently his gf went into terror mode and threatened to break up with him if he didn't think she was "important enough" to spend Christmas Eve with. He asked me if I'd be okay with inviting her to our place, which I refused because I wanted him to pay attention to me on this one single day and didn't want to play the hostess to her three children and four dogs. It was selfish, I know, but it seriously has been an incredibly rough year and I have zero energy left. So instead I backed down from the Christmas Eve thing and suggested he spends the 26th with me instead. In the end, the "compromise" he landed on with his gf was that he left on the 17th and came back on the 26th. We did none of the usual ceremonious stuff, just exchanged gifts, then he spent the rest of the day on his phone, to the point where I wished he would have just stayed away. He was very sad/angry because I'd spent Christmas Eve with my mom instead, and he left again the next day. The only contact we've had since then was a brief "Happy new year!" - "You too!" text conversation. He told me before he left that he always turns of his phone when he's with his girlfriend, and gave me her number "in case of an emergency."
He's going to be back tomorrow and I have no idea how to greet him. I'm supposed to be civil because he's going to have his gf and her children with him, but I'm so hurt and angry because he doesn't seem to care about me at all.
Reasons why I don't think I'm the asshole:
* We have a house and four pets to take care of, so I can't leave for an extended period of time when my father's gone, which is a problem, since he's spent *literally* every weekend at his girlfriend's place for the past three months.
* This has been the shittiest of years for me in more ways than one. I already do most of the housework even when he's here and I wish I could have taken a break at least for a few days around Christmas.
* He talks a lot of shit about my mother because she doesn't give a fuck about her children, but the only reason he's more involved in my life than she is is because I happen to live here. Christmas was the first time in months that he's seen my brothers, who both live less than half an hour away.
* I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to want to spend time with your parents, even as an adult.
* I have an eating disorder, which he knows about. I skip a lot of meals when there's no one here to make sure I eat enough. I'm aware enough of this to know it's a problem and not quite strong enough to do something about it by myself.
Counterpoints:
* I'm an adult. It's not like I'm lost and helpless without him and he shouldn't still have to base his life choices around my well-being.
* I don't have to pay rent when he's not here, so I don't have any extra expenses.
* A lot of problems would have been solved had I just agreed to invite his girlfriend here for Christmas Eve.
* It's entirely possible that I'm just jealous because he gets to take a three-week-vacation while I'm stuck between work, household chores and pet duty.
* It's also possible that I'm just jealous because he spends way more time with his "new family" than he ever has spent with his own.
TL;DR: I can't tell whether I'm stuck in a childish "I'm your daughter, please pay attention to me" mindset or I'm justified in being pissed off because my dad is ignoring me and spending all of his free time with his girlfriend and her children. What do you guys think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
sbi2EegNukwkqZpfDitbB0AXZZ3NbZnE | 9z50ph | {
"description": "not wanting to be with my family on Thanksgiving or holidays",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be with my family on Thanksgiving or holidays | This is about the holidays and life in general.
I've been through a lot with my family this year. To make it short, my mom is pretty narcissistic and my family are her followers. Lately she's been using her nice face. I've limited her visits already because she has made a huge negative impact on my older kid (4yo) and often makes me question my sanity. This week she has constantly asked "You're coming to help us cook like we always do,right?" I told her no. She asked if she can take my oldest then, I said no.. because why have a 4yo over there while they're cooking, they won't be paying attention to her and she really can't help. They put her in front of a TV and let her eat a bunch of junk whenever she wants. I also said no because every year that I've "helped" is only me doing one thing and now because I have a 6 month old that just got his shots and is clingy so I can't even help much anyway. She tried to convince me by saying she got this delicious turkey and she's going to make a dish that I love, she tries to use food to bring us over for some reason,I told her i'm not a dog, i'm not driven by food. She also coincidentally gave me $100 a few days ago, not sure why. I know she'll try to convince me tomorrow too because my guy works part of the day.
Last year, while we were living with her, I made a big apple pie and like 2 other dishes..none of them ate them. It has been a year since I've moved out again and i'm determined to stay gone this time. Today she asked if I wanted her to come pick me and the kids up since my guy is at work with the car so I can "help like we do every year", I said no because I have food to cook too. But honestly I'm not starting to cook the major parts until my guy gets home to help entertain our baby while I cook or vice versa.
This year has been full of me having to distance myself from my controlling,helicopter, narcissistic mother and family because she was making my oldest obsessed with her,she kept trying to force me to make decisions that she wanted, and thought me trying to be an adult was "cute". But they've told me before that they "care" about me but not as much and that they try to keep nice with me so they can see the kids. I'm lucky my fiance is honest because my mom has contacted him many times trying to make him convince me to do what she wants but he told them to stop because he doesn't want to be involved in their stuff and that I'm an adult and we can talk over our own decisions. So i'm a bit..empty towards them. I still love them. I love my mom but we don't get along much so I stay neutral when I let her visit,i don't say anything about our life anymore to her. It's like she wants me to be like my sister..who is almost 40,has never lived on her own,has a decent career, no friends except an ex who is using her as a backup while he's with another chick, no kids...a mess of anxiety and medication. They do everything together. I don't want that. I miss how my mom used to be..kinda. But she's almost 60 and stuck in her ways. I'm 25 and have a life of my own,I want to make my own traditions with our family.
She thinks us trying to be adults and a family is "cute". She calls us all "shorties" but my guy is the same height as her. When she saw we had our Christmas tree up she thought it was "so cute" and "Did ya'll have to get a ladder??" and laughed..damn tree is only 6ft, my dude is 5'9. But when I talk about how we're trying to do things as a family and not go over to her house or not involve them, it's no longer cute. My family is obsessed with "FAMILYYYYY IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT FAMILYYYY WHEN YOUR GUY LEAVES YOU YOU'LL ONLY HAVE FAMILYYYY IF HE STARTS ABUSING YOU LIKE YOUR EX DID YOU'LL ONLY HAVE FAMILLLYYYYYYY " by family they mean blood. Friends don't matter to them, anybody that isn't blood doesn't matter to them. Which is weird because my oldest is from an abusive ex and my mom can't seem to stop thinking that he'll change one day (he really won't he's beyond help and wants nothing to do with my oldest) but my fiance has taken over being her father and we have a baby together and he's amazing but they keep insisting that he'll leave me. She's still mad that I spent one Thanksgiving with my ex and his grandmother about 6 years ago. So she'll hold another grudge this time most likely. My own grandmother rarely calls me and she called last night right after I told my mom I wasn't coming to help, I guess so she could try to convince me to go. I feel shitty because they often guilt-trip with "we could die any day and you would regret doing <insert whatever they disagree with>". After I started limiting her visits she suddenly started asking me if she could get rid of some of my stuff at her house.
So AITA? Should I feel guilty? I told her we could visit for an hour or two tomorrow but I guess that isn't enough for her.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
t0EhjU7mkRoAdCwS1afYQl6nHW1HRfot | b3v9lz | {
"description": "asking my friends to stop talking about their diet",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I ask my friends to stop talking about their diet? | I (28F) have a number of friends who are on a particular fad diet. They've had great experiences and like to talk about that with our larger friend group, myself included. I have no inclination to try this diet, but I'm happy that my friends are happy.
I am on the thicker side so I've dealt with people making passive aggressive comments about diets my whole life. Enough people have outright told me I need to diet so much that I've developed a sensitivity to any talk of diets, thinking they might be a comment on my weight.
I am healthy and am happy with my weight, but this wasn't always the case. I was diagnosed with EDNOS (catchall term for eating disorders that aren't anorexia/bulimia) when I was younger, and I'm currently working with my therapist to manage my mental health as I take care of myself physically. One of the steps for this has been focusing on overall health over exact weight, and I don't actually know how much I weigh know since I've avoided a scale for so long. I feel better than I did a few years ago, so to me, that's good enough.
However, when one of my friends says things like "I can't eat this, I only have 20 carbs left for the day" or "\[Mutual friend\] is doing well, she says she lost 3 pounds last week", I go to a bad mental place. If this comes up while we're eating, I'll immediately stop. I feel sick and feel an overwhelming urge to harm myself to get rid of my excess weight.
WIBTA if I asked my friends to stop talking about this diet around me, especially the parts with numbers? I'm afraid of it seeming like jealousy (and on some level I wonder if I am just jealous) but it's hurting me to hear it. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
jUJfAFjuRKR1qRpWNufPrWXkQnPQg483 | aommxl | {
"description": "confronting my friend about them talking shit about me on their private twitter",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I confronted my friend about them talking shit about me on their private twitter? | For some background, my oldest friend and I were the closest friends before college and we still keep in good contact. Despite our friendship, there have been rough times. Sometimes I acted like an ass and sometimes he has, but in general we make up. He is mentally ill and has BPD and many other mental illnesses. Before college, he relied on me a lot and during senior year, our friendship got strained. I got a boyfriend and he was jealous (he's not into my romantically and he says his jealousy was because of his mental illnesses) and I got into a college out of state and I wouldn't be home a lot. But I thought things went well after awhile and we were better friends to each other by the time I left.
He logged into my twitter once and left his account info on there. I didn't check it for months since I dont use the app anymore. One time I went on twitter and it was still on his private. I saw some tweets about me that I didn't like, even if it was from long ago. One was a screenshotted pic I uploaded of my bf and how I loved him and was gonna go visit him at school with the caption: "Is this bitch done?" I know he does this a lot and says its because of his mental illness, but honestly after being in college, I don't want to take it. I dont know if anything recent was said about me, because I logged off his account.
I know mental illness is hard and I have dealt with it, too, but I don't think it's an excuse. Should I do something about this? Or would it be better to leave it be? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
f4fttan94puqXMnDgNwjP4i8prlc8nxw | autinf | {
"description": "doing someone else's work and letting them get away with it",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA: For doing someone else’s work and letting them get away with it (or maybe inadvertently stealing the glory) | Not sure if this is the right place, but it’s a moral dilemma.
A colleague and I are working on a client facing project together. The very first task was putting together slides to open the on site client facing workshop. It was agreed the slides would be done by the other person a week prior, and multiple follow up emails ensued. By 7am the morning of the workshop the slides had not yet been sent out.
I “saved the day” but putting together some slides the night before. At breakfast, the other person said when looking to put together the slides they realized there was just not enough information - they might have put together something, but I never saw it and just went with my slides and I presented them. Day saved.
A few workshops & lots of information to capture, the next explicit ask if for this person to put together the report template (a deliverable back to the client). It was discussed on Feb 11th. On Feb 14th, a follow up email - the excuse was “Microsoft Issues” will call tech support. The following week we were all travelling to a conference, more follow ups “yea, let’s find time to sit at the conference and I will show you what I’ve done”, conference over, another two business days and now we are running against a deadline so I started writing the document/report (about 15 pages in of 45) and have every intent on finishing it rendering their efforts at a template now defunct or useless (even if it would be two weeks late)
Am I the asshole for letting the person get away with it? Or for taking the glory and not giving them an opportunity?
I am not this persons manager, and the manager has proved useless in dealing with it having been on all the emails/calls etc. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
68pmuMjwDTGfkEGHiT24jk1qGlm7ZIE9 | a10ya4 | {
"description": "not waking up my roomate for class",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not waking up my roomate for class? | My roomate and her boyfriend are making me out to be the bad guy for not waking her up for a shared 8am class, I normally give her a ride and she wasn't up this morning so I left without her because I didnt want to be late. I feel as if its not my responsability to get her up in the morning for classes, but they seem to see it as me not being a good friend by not waking them up to get her to class. I dont feel like I did anything wrong by leaving without her. They keep talking to me as if I did something wrong, amd she is sending passive aggresive texts about the situation. Am I an asshole for not waking her up, if so can someone please explain why? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
gWnLQLGYt2HNz22vbZmOZjZw6MjIplLW | aeax9v | {
"description": "sleeping around after breaking up with an ex I still care about",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I slept around after breaking up with an ex I still care about? | I broke up with her (1 year relationship, 2 years friendship) about 2 weeks ago because I felt emotionally abused and restricted in how I lived my life (always insecure with something even though I never cheated or got even close). The breakup was not for other girls.
I still care about her and see her as my best friend but at the same time I want to move on and other girls find interest in me and they are attractive. I am young (M 23) and she was my first gf and I wanted to marry her. I still want to be friends with her eventually but as of now I'm not going to lie it feels pretty good to have other girls attracted to me.
She still wants to be friends, but it was only 2 weeks ago and I think we both need more space. Am I the asshole for doing this? I feel guilty because I still care about her so much but at the same time I am young and just having fun and living my life. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5XVUep57NpjG6PKrs5Lvu7bPvA089CGm | b8szu9 | {
"description": "yelling at my roommate for asking my girlfriend about her sexual preferences",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For yelling at my roommate for asking my girlfriend about her sexual preferences? | My roommate and I have a long-ish history of truly disliking each other, especially in regard to how he has acted toward me and my girlfriend in the past.
This evening my girlfriend walked upstairs to get a cup of water, where said roommate along with other roommates were sitting. I heard the following question “Do you prefer girth or length?” clearly from the voice of the roommate I have issues with. I briskly climbed the stairs and looked directly at him and said “Do not talk about dick size with my girlfriend”. All of my other roommates looked at me like I was a shitty person, one even ran up to his room while I was pouring my cup of water.
Was that an overreaction?
*On mobile, sorry for formatting issues. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
kBTXdH1PzFLj6wGkP0TujNL50h3D85qC | am9hgn | {
"description": "not wanting to meet my transexual grandmother for the first time",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to meet my transexual grandmother for the first time? | Ok so a bit of backstory is necessary. My dad moved to canada from the UK when he was very young, 3 or 4 years old I think. Almost as soon as they got here his dad just vanished and nobody knew where he was for almost 10 years. One day they just show up out of the blue and surprise, they're a woman now. Cue 1-2 years of marital confusion and they disappear again, for about the same length of time. This pattern repeats itself a few times until just recently, when out of the blue my dad asks if I would like to meet her, since she'd found out about my sister and I somehow. Obviously it's my choice to see her but I really dont want to, not because they're trans, I really dont care about that either way, but mostly because why would I ever want to spend time with someone who's spent decades of her life purposely ignoring their child? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hDcUWOIaKfO6xZgWeb6AlgW0ypgJahRq | a1bg5l | {
"description": "reporting my neighbor's dog",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for reporting my neighbor’s dog | I live in an apartment and I am currently working from home. Normally I cannot hear any of my neighbors at all, I made sure to pick a place to live with walls built well enough not to hear every movement or conversation.
My next door neighbor (couple) have a dog, dog is probably 1 year old. The dog is a lab, very cute and very friendly, but obviously not well trained. Dog jumps up on you and people, doesn’t heel for owners, and bites at leash, etc. Neighbors just started leaving the dog at home alone all day about a month ago, and the dog howls and barks and carries on for about 3-4 hours every day. I can hear this clear as day in my apartment, so the dog is obviously loud. I can drown it out with music, but that’s not a long term answer. The noise isn’t necessarily loud enough to disrupt my work, and I don’t expect the complex to be dead silent or anything, but this dog makes a ton of noise and for long periods of time.
I told the neighbors a few days after it started, very casually and in passing. I wasn’t mean or rude, I was sympathetic, the dog doesn’t know any better, she’s just lonely and reacting to her situation. But part of being a pet owner is teaching your dog what behavior is and is not acceptable. Neighbors were apologetic and promised to work on it, but it’s been weeks and it hasn’t gotten any better. I mentioned this to them 2 more times and they have been very apologetic, claiming they are trying to take the dog to day care and such, but every day, same shit.
I’ve given them many chances, and I’m really tired of it. I sent an email to the community manager outlining the situation, and he quickly responded. He has warned neighbors and if they continue to have a disruptive dog, it could be a lease violation and them thrown out. They used to be friendly and say hello, but now they clearly are mad at me and give me rude looks when we pass by. I feel bad, but I tried everything. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qv6kt9ym9GuiL6iZzoIQkzBiaxaFZSWU | aoap7z | {
"description": "confronting my brother after he and his girlfriend trashed my room",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for confronting my brother after he and his girlfriend trashed my room? | I'm 23 and I live at my parent's house for family reasons. My brother (16) started dating this girl six months ago and he found out she's always wanted to play a Nintendo 64 (don't ask me why, I literally have no idea why). I have an N64 and because of this, my brother asked if he could use it with her. I said yes. After his permission was granted, he invited his girlfriend.
Since the N64 is in my room, I gave him a few rules.
I: DO NOT TOUCH MY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
II: DO NOT BRING FOOD OR DRINK IN THE ROOM
III: DO NOT USE THE BLACK CHAIRS IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM.
IV: WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THE N64, UNPLUG THE CONTROLLERS, PUT THEM ON THE SHELF, AND TURN OFF THE N64.
The next day, I texted him that list and his reply was, "yeah yeah ok". I was a bit nervous after this reply. I was nervous that he would not obey the rules, but I just told myself, "It's okay, he got the text and read it. He's probably just being his direct self".
When his girlfriend arrived at our home, I invited them both into my room and told them the rules. They assured me that everything would be okay. I hoped so. I'd be fucked if my room was trashed because I'm the leader of a band and the band and I would be meeting up today in my room a little bit after my brother's girlfriend left. After they assured me that everything would be okay, I took my trumpet and told them I'd see them later.
A quick fact: We were home alone. Our dad was on a business trip, and our mom was running errands.
After I left the room, I went to the basement to practice. I was practicing the music I'd practice with my band. An hour later our mom came home. Turns out, she had gone grocery shopping so my brother and I helped her unload. After that, our mom gave my brother's girlfriend a ride home. When they left, we went to our rooms. I was fucking pissed when I entered my room.
It was trashed. They broke every single rule. There were crumbs on my floor and on the chairs I told him not to use and the N64 controllers were not on my shelf. In fact, they were disrespectfully left on my desk. The N64 was on and MY FUCKING TUBA WAS ON THE FLOOR LIKE GARBAGE! Furthermore, I think they had sex in my room because I found a used condom in my trash can.
I didn't understand the meaning of this. I couldn't wrap my head around this. Why the fuck would they break all of my rules and have sex in my room? I needed answers. I went to his room.
Me: * knock knock *
Bro: Come in
Me: * enters * Why did you break all of my rules?
Bro: Sorry, I didn't mean to. Jeez, dude you don't get to come in my room and be an immediate asshole.
Me: You didn't mean to? You didn't mean to break my rules? You had to have knowingly did that!
Bro: All right fine! I'm sorry, now get out before I call Mom.
Me: Okay.
So AITA for being pissed? Was I being an 'immediate asshole'? Oh and I want to tell our parents. WIBTA for doing that?
Thanks, Reddit.
P.S. I was able to clean my room in time for my band to come over.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
a7gAzpod8VKrt13P5SiltamzpN7OQVEl | ak8glk | {
"description": "talking to my ex I dated when I was 11",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I talk to my ex I dated when I was 11? | We were 11 at the time and me her dated for 3 years. I'm 21 now and have a fiance. I love her so much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm curious if talking to said ex will be a wrong move even if it's just a friendly catchup chat. I'm worried she'll still consider it a proper ex even though we were so young back then so I'm just checking base before I do anything.
What does reddit think? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rZZUeRdK4LIHidt5e2rKoOrTKCHiYSkc | azyaet | {
"description": "storing guns below my tenants against their wishes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for storing guns below my tenants against their wishes | Right now I live with my brother and his girlfriend and they just had a baby. They live below me on the first floor of my townhome. Below them is a small basement storage area where they mostly keep all their baby things and whatnot. Earlier this year my father passed away and left me a bunch of weapons (long guns and pistols), and a boatload of ammo. My brother's girlfriend insists on not keeping the weapons on the first floor with them AND that they can't be stored in the storage basement below them. Instead she demands that they are stored in my room (along with my other weapons) for which there is really no space available.
&#x200B;
I totally understand not wanting weapons near their newborn. And I understand that weapons give people the creeps either out of ignorance or fully justified fears. I'm going to store them in the basement anyways, unloaded, wrapped in a blanket, separate from the ammo. This post is preemptive, if these were discovered in the basement and a freak out occurs WIBTA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
INATxhbVhHP5pQq5EhfCicxw8X2gYR2z | asdc1y | {
"description": "telling my friend to kick rocks",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my friend to kick rocks? | A short backstory: I'm an 18 year old nursing student in an ADN (associate degree in nursing) program at a community college. I met another girl who was going to my school a few months before we started our program through reddit. We met up a few times and she seemed nice enough.
&#x200B;
Now, onto what's been going on since we started about 6 weeks ago. From day one, she's been so beyond negative. The second day of class she said to me "I wish I would have just done the LPN program." She failed our first test by 4 points (because she admittedly didn't study) and stated that she was just gonna drop out of the program-to which she has a full ride-if she failed our next test. She wound up passing by a few points and stayed in the program. Now, we have another test coming up Friday and she's back to the same crap. "I'm dropping out." "I don't like this." etc.
&#x200B;
My whole thing is, if you don't like nursing-then drop out!! Just quit bringing me down with you. Nursing school is by no means easy, but it's totally doable. But being constantly surrounded by this negativity is affecting my mood and motivation to study. Honestly, it's been making me kinda depressed. I was so excited to start this \*highly competitive\* program, but she's just been bringing me down.
&#x200B;
WIBTA if I told her to screw off and leave me alone? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YlpC6dKQZwN2afV4RxLPgYIyej3XgJlw | amvpfd | {
"description": "being annoyed/making fun of someones proposal",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being annoyed/making fun of someones proposal? | Posting this from mobile reddit. Some back story, Im a junior at a very small and rural highschool in america, my class is a class of about 94 people and about 400 people in my whole highschool. Im not sure if other schools do this but at my school we have something called snowcoming which is similar to homecoming but instead of football theres a basketball game and theres still a dance. But the thing is nobody makes a big deal out of it most people have a mentallity of "its just snowcoming" but at the dance an 18 year old guy proposed to his 16 year old girlfriend for the second time because the first time she spent their whole 9000 dollar budget on a dress so they had no money for the wedding and they broke up so its not a steady relationship. Anyway me and my friends and girlfriend and her friends had a good laugh and cracked a LOT of jokes about this does that make us assholes? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cfLpM2WXiaITwgMPqupWtWzsATxCQI5x | aoujha | {
"description": "wanting to pull my daughter out of preschool",
"pronormative_score": 228,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for wanting to pull my daughter out of preschool | My partner and I chose this preschool over the public preschool because it advertises an increase in self esteem which our kid needs (very shy).
The school was putting on a play and required all the 3-4 year olds to participate in the show. My daughter did not want to be in the play because she didn't want to be on stage. We talked about it with her teachers and she agreed to try it out. The teachers kept telling her that what was important was that she try her best.
Well the play rolls around and the kids walk out on stage and my daughter take one look at the audience and starts crying. Just a couple tears at first but then a full out panic so my partner goes and pulls her off the stage. We sat in the audience and watched the play and she calmed right down.
After the show, we tried to take her to the reception for the kids and parents and her teacher told us we have to leave because our daughter didn't make it through the show, so it wasn't fair for her to be at the after party. She told us we had to leave and actually took a cookie out of our daughters hand. It was a big scene so we left and took our daughter to Dairy Queen as a reward for trying it out.
I would understand her being excluded if she had bailed, or thrown a tantrum and refused to get on stage, but she tried something new and I'm shocked that the school would respond in such a way to stage fright. I mean, she's 3 years old. What kind of lesson is that?
I'm thinking we should pull her out and put her in the public preschool. She has friends from other activities in the public school so it's not as if we'd be ripping her away from all the people she knows. I just don't see the point in paying for a preschool that claims to endorse self esteem and then does that to my kid. My partner thinks I'm being rash. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 222,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 228,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
QwfOBYbuv01hn2iW3Qy43OkGV9AJUuCM | a9l6p8 | {
"description": "not wanting to accept a refund/return on an item that the buyer admitted to damaging",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to accept a refund/return on an item that the buyer admitted to damaging? | Hey everyone, I've never used this sub before so apologies if I'm not doing this right!
I have quite a few vinyl records that I don't listen to anymore, so I casually sell them from time to time on a website called Discogs, which is essentially a site where average people can buy and sell records. I sold an album to a guy a month ago, and earlier this week I got a Paypal notification stating that the buyer wished to dispute the claim and receive a refund. Upon viewing the buyer's message, I find out why: the buyer said the record arrived slightly warped (meaning the vinyl itself wasn't perfectly flat, which can lead to playback issues if not handled properly), and so he used a vinyl flattening system. This basically entails putting the vinyl record in the oven at a high heat between two solid objects (usually panes of glass) for a period of time in an attempt to flatten the record. The buyer admitted in his message that this process messed up the vinyl record and made it unplayable.
Am I crazy here, or am I right in not wanting to accept a return? It would be one thing if the buyer messaged me upfront and told me the record was warped - I always make sure to only sell items that are in mint condition, and I package records extremely carefully, but slight warping that happens in transit is not completely unheard of. If he had told me what happened, I would certainly issue a refund in exchange for him returning the item. However, I think it's unfair that he is asking for a refund while wanting to return an item that is in considerably worse condition than when I sent it due to his actions.
**TL;DR: I sold an item to somebody online and it arrived with slight damage from transit. Buyer tried to fix the damage himself but ended up ruining the item, now wants to return it to me in exchange for a refund. I don't think it's fair that I would be getting the item back in considerably worse condition than when I sent it, but he disagrees. /r/AmItheAsshole , Am I The Asshole?** | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
74t73eNrDXfaJWtnn3LNxV8VhnqKmn43 | ai14ed | {
"description": "having the bouncer kick a girl out of the club",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for having the bouncer kick a girl out of the club? | The club I usually go to to party lets people stay in the VIP area, as long as it isn't fully booked. Once it is, those who have reserved a table get to decide who may or may not enter (will be important).
So this Friday I was at a party there and we just decided to go into the VIP area since it was free. One of my friends had invited a friend who, again, invited another friend of hers. Later, that friend of a friend of a friend started "aggressively" trying to get others to dance with her, rubbing her ass against every crotch in the VIP zone. When she came to me I clearly stated that I won't dance, but eventually she always came back asking, so I got annoyed and told her to fuck off. That still didn't work, and unfortunately for her she came again, getting all close and shit, which kind of flipped my switch.
I went to the bouncer and reserved the free couches for myself. Then I told him that now that they are fully booked, she had no permission to stay and she should get out. When the bouncer told her to go to the normal area, she started getting mad at him (sorry bro), trying to push him away. Eventually he decided to kick her out of the whole club (which I can't say I wasn't happy about).
Did I overdo it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
APagLOGAd5b7B03pRQF5j1A0LfCbyY8z | b1tudg | {
"description": "thinking my mom is a dickhead for sleeping late on weekends",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for thinking my mom is a dickhead for sleeping late on weekends | She always does it, she’s sleeps until like 3 in the afternoon and she know I will want to go out on Saturday with my friends. She always gets pissy when I come in her room at 11:30-12. We’ll in sorry but I don’t want to lay around in the bed all day.
She takes forever to wake up and I want to go out and do things. I get that she wakes up early all week but so do I. She barely takes care of my 7 year old brother and frankly isn’t much of a mother to begin with. During the week I do most of the looking after. I do everything she wants specifically so I can go out on weekends.
I already agreed to respect her rule of going out one day and staying home the next. Still, she still gets pissy when I want to go out with my friends. She used to yell at me about not going out and how I had no friends. NOW she gets pissed when I want to go out with friends.
This isn’t a new thing, I’ve started this about a year ago. If I ask her the night before she gets pissed too. I’m not sure what to do, when I stay home she doesn’t spend time with me anyway. I just sit in my room and don’t talk for a day. So I’m not sure what the big fucking deal is. It’s obvious she doesn’t care to spend time with me.
My brother doesn’t care when I leave either, sure my step dad might not like it but he’s always pissed at me for something. “Don’t wake me up for this shit.” Okay but you sleep until fucking 3 PM and I want to fucking do stuff. I can already see some of you saying she’s depressed, I’ve told her to seek therapy or something. She’s been like this for years. She refuses, says it’s for weak-minded people. Guess who goes to therapy? Yep me.
My mom has a past of abusing me, so it’s not like I bust her door open and jump on the bed screaming or anything. I crack the door shoo my brother away and creepy around the front of the bed to whisper at her. She still gets mad. Like I get no one wants to be waken up but you have kids - kids that you refuse to take care of - but kids none the less. I never woke her. Up when I was little out of pure fear of what she’d do.
I’ve finally gotten the courage to do it. All she does is angrily bitch at me and most of the time give me 0 answer to the one question I asked her.
So AITA for thinking my mom sleeping all day is bullshit? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Z6vMx93MzWQYmNNXHDTtyA0CxaJekgFX | a79xjd | {
"description": "not wanting a dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting a dog? | So, I moved in with my girlfriend about 4 months ago. Last month, she was talking about getting a dog. I didn't want one. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs with all my heart and soul. My German Shepherd Apollo died just 6 months ago. I had her since she was a puppy. I got her as a gift on my 8th birthday. She was a healthy 18 year old dog, but sadly died after getting hit by a car. Both my parents died in a car accident when I was 19. She was the only thing I had left. My girlfriend is great. She is always do kind, funny and loving. But she doesn't understand why I don't want a dog. I feel like it'll replace Apollo. I don't want to replace her with another dog. I understand why she wants a dog so much. Her parents didn't allow her to have a dog, and she always wanted one. A mutual friend even called me an asshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ARiYf0JkWcC3s6fxrLbG3DJcOHlhNZyl | ag77hp | {
"description": "asking for a free commissioned piece of art that that the artist him/herself advertised as free",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for a free commissioned piece of art that that the artist him/herself advertised as free | I messaged an artist who advertised that he/she would make one free sketch of a character, (no mech, no detailed oc and no NSFW) I asked him if he could "memeify" my profile picture (the one I have on reddit right now) and he asked if I was blind or mentally deficient as to what a "simple sketch was". I told him/her that I was just looking for someone to make a simple outline of my profile character in a style like Jayden animation [(like this)](https://i.redd.it/7vn9q0u62u221.png). I was then told "didn't I make it clear to you" and I was promptly blocked. I personally don't think I insulted him in any way, when he said no the first time, I said "why not?" because I thought that if something like colour or detail was the problem, then I could clear up that problem and say "oh it's cool, it doesn't need to be coloured/polished or anything, just a basic outline would be great" I hope I didn't seem like I was trying to push him/her | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4V0o6BDPyyoAvuPzcvwsovxPblDloVuI | amit9l | {
"description": "kicking my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for kicking my roommate? | For some context:
We live in a dorm, and in my country dorms are really small. It's a tiny room, big enough to only fit 3 beds, 3 desks, a wardrobe and a fridge. My roommate's desk is right in front of my bed.
So I was sitting on my bed, chilling and watching youtube when suddenly my roommate turns around from his desk and grabs my leg. Naturally, I panic, kick him a few times and say 'fu*k off'.
Now he doesn't talk to me and wants me to apoligise since I acted like 'an aggressive retard' and that he only wanted to showcase some leglock wrestling move or something.
Am I the asshole for reacting like this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Rdb2tejFl3vt5YBDnEyqKS2zcnTMljKR | b6qxtb | {
"description": "spending more time with my girl best friend than my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for spending more time with my girl best friend than my girlfriend? | My girlfriend will be called Taylor, and my friend Lydia.
So, Lydia and Taylor are pretty good friends and have known each other since freshman year since they play volleyball together. I've known Lydia since middle school since we were in the gifted class together, which was just basically chilling and talking all the time, so we became friends.
So, I spend a lot of time hanging out with Lydia, because 1) she's my friend 2) we do homework together since we're in the same classes. I'm good at history and language arts, but not so great at math, and she's the opposite, so we help each other out 3) we're debate partners, so we kind of have to meet up.
Taylor has been insecure of this for a while. A few days ago, she asked me if she could come to one of my meetings with Lydia. We are just meeting up at the library to go over stuff for state, which is this weekend. She's hinted before that she was jealous/suspicious.
So, to appease her, I said sure. But problem is, Taylor knows nothing about debate. But she tried to include herself in the conversation by asking all the time, 'what's that?' We tried to stop and explain, but after a while it got a little annoying, plus time wasting, to explain every little thing to her. So we brushed her off a little bit so we could focus.
And of course, Taylor was mad at me over this, and made a big argument out of this. This argument ended up leading to us 'take a break'.
All her friends (other than Lydia) have been texting me, telling me I'm an asshole for brushing her off. In my defense, 1) she didn't have to suspicious or jealous of me. JFC, I'm her boyfriend and Lydia's her best friend. I've never done anything to indicate I can't be trusted, and yet she continued not to 2) She was at a debate meeting, before *state*, asking 'what's that' to literally everything, and it was just slowing us down. 3) I did brush her off, but I'm the asshoe for trying to prepare for my tournament and she's not for being suspicious?
So, aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QuU2rWjAd8jZuNFbCAyA7j8lHJ7txjad | aw9sou | {
"description": "telling my mother-in-law that she can't control how I act in my home",
"pronormative_score": 1116,
"contranormative_score": 68
} | AITA for telling my mother-in-law that she can't control how I act in my home? | My mother-in-law moved in with us about three months ago. It's been ok. She and I are clashing personalities and cultures, and it's come up more often now that we share a similar space. She is a traditional Hispanic woman with a strong sense of decorum and family hierarchy. I am white, liberal in all ways, and agnostic about most traditions, including and especially the need to obey elders.
Before, out of consideration to my wife and out of a belief in the my "my house, my rules adage," I used to watch what I said around her very carefully because we only visited with her about once a month. But when my spouse asked if she could live with us, I said I was okay with it as long as I no longer had to walk on eggshells around her. My spouse agreed and told their mother that she needs to respect that we do and say things differently in our home than she may like. I don't know how her mother responded to that but it never came up again.
Last week, my 10-year-old and I were chatting while having breakfast while she was in the kitchen. We were goofing around and making bodily function sounds to each other. We are very mature, I know. But when I said, "I fart in your general direction!" and made a loud raspberry sound at her (she was giggling like crazy), my mother-in-law slammed down her coffee mug and said, in Spanish, "Don't you dare teach my granddaughter to be so disrespectful. I will not allow this kind of vulgarity in my home any longer." And I said, in English (I can understand Spanish but can't speak it well), "This is my home. You don't get a say in how I interact with my kids, or how any of us speak or act." She stormed away and now isn't speaking to me.
My spouse says ITA because I embarrassed her in front of our daughter and because I expected her to accept too much, too quickly. They also say that I am being a little culturally insensitive and that I need to respect that abuela will be deeply offended by how I spoke to her, so I need to apologize. But I think it was important for her to see that I will stand up for our interactions/myself and also to stick to what we originally agreed on--that I won't be policed in my own home. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 40,
"OTHER": 1101,
"EVERYBODY": 28,
"NOBODY": 15,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1116,
"WRONG": 68
} | RIGHT |
EPRANzY0NcEDfwYGe8TlZIZtivq0PjMO | ayt7oy | {
"description": "telling my friend she should spend with her kid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my friend she should spend with her kid? | So my friend ( I’ll call her j) suffers from bipolar and is hospitalized at least 5 times a year. She and her husband along with their 5 year old son love with her parents. They’re retired so when she ends up in the hospital the brunt of childcare falls to them. They don’t mind it and this isn’t the issue.
The problem is that her son has a very hard time emotionally when his Mother’’s away. She was in hospital for 2 months and two days after she was released she told me she was going away for the weekend ( leaving the next day). This is where things got dicey-
Me- you’ve only just got back from two months away. I know it’s hard on kid when you’re away, maybe you should stay home this weekend and catch up and spend time together; I know he’d love that
Her-I need this trip to continue improving my mental health ( she’s going to a casino to see Dane Cook)
If you can’t understand that then we’re done being friends. I’m a good Mom and you’re a piece of shit Mom- I have 2 kids.
After that last jab she hung up the phone and won’t answer my texts.
So am ITA for mentioning she would stay home and spend time with her kid? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
QJuxHss3wR5ZVJh9vmsMWfbGAyBBN4kg | b2xrwa | {
"description": "thinking my ex-husband and his wife are crossing boundaries with my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA: For thinking my ex-husband and his wife are crossing boundaries with my family | TLDR: Ex and his new wife are now best buds with my dad who I had a falling out with.
&#x200B;
My ex husband (31m) and I (28f) finalized our divorce about two years ago. The divorce was pretty messy and now we are trying to co parent our 7 year old daughter best we can. My dad (not bio) never really liked my ex but was cordial at family functions with him. We never lived close enough to consistently see him so in person he and my dad have talked maybe 5 times. My dad has been my rock through everything though. From the rough teenage years to being 19 and expecting my daughter, and then my divorce, he's been my best friend through it all. (Note: Dad suffers from extreme depression and anxiety, it has hurt some relationships but he does his best)
&#x200B;
Shortly after the divorce I started dating an amazing man. Due to my dad living far away he didn't meet him in the beginning but he "seemed" happy that I was finding some happiness. After a few months he kind of started to pull away from me, not answering calls and texts or giving me really short one word answers. Then the man of my dreams proposed a year later and all hell broke lose. I called him and he seemed disgusted. We ended that call on not great terms but I reached out the next day and apologized if I had upset him. He started telling me that I'm a "user" and now that I was engaged I was done with him and was tossing him aside like trash. I had no clue what to say and we went weeks without talking.
&#x200B;
Now I find out yesterday that not only have he and my ex-husband been texting (talking about ME, ex let it slip that dad told him he was disappointed in my choices... wtf????), but my ex's new wife has added my dad on Facebook and messages him as well. When I told my ex this wasn't OK he acted like I was telling him to ditch a best friend. These two men never had ANY type of bond but are now friends. And why the fuck is your wife adding and chit chatting with your EXWIFES FATHER?!?!
&#x200B;
I'm pissed! I'm mad at my dad though I am starting to suspect his mental health inst in a good place and could be influencing his decisions. But my ex has no excuse.. I feel like there are certain lines you don't cross and they both did. So, AITA?
&#x200B;
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
qygkWGNX8lBfzGS5oIC1qKLTtxv848t9 | 9z9k0y | {
"description": "putting the girlfriends cat outside",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 22
} | AITA for putting the girlfriends cat outside | My girlfriend of 9 years has a cat that keeps pissing and shitting in the house. I have had to remove the upstairs and downstairs carpet. Currently my floors are bare concrete and plywood.
She only cleans the litter boxes once a week some times longer. I keep bringing this up as the problem but it just gets brushed off. I even took the cat to the vet to make sure it didnt have any issues.
Today I finaly snapped. It has shit in the entry room 5 days in a row. I took the cat and put it in the garage. The cat slipped out the garage door and cannot be found. The girl friend told me to find the cat before she gets home or she is leaving me. I never found the cat and the girl friend packed some bags and left. Am I the asshole? I just really wanted a house that doesnt smell but now i feel like a horrible person for loosing her pet. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 22
} | WRONG |
XHulEy8ekrjuUzTCdzBCV8C6QJRLTfrz | b7c87p | {
"description": "telling my wife she needs to get a better job",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For telling my wife she needs to get a better job | r/AmItheAsshole
I quit my dream job for nothing.
u/Onikem
So im 29(m) married to a 27(f) with a 2 year old daughter. I previously worked in the video game industry but it meant a two hour round trip commute. Being games the pay was less then I could get for the same job elsewhere but we had enough money to live and i loved doing it.
Around my daughter 1st birthday my wife had been complaining about not seeing me and that money was tight. This had been going on for a while so i agreed to look for a job that paid more and was closer to home. I then left my job and got one that paid 10k more with half the commute.
My wife was a teacher and would have earned more then me, but she went part time after her maternity leave.
After getting getting my new job she started to complain the we never saw each other in the evenings because she would always be planning lessons and she was fed up with her job. So after talking it through we agreed to try and find her another job and figured out a wage we could manage her going down to.
A couple of weeks later I got her an interview with my current employer which paid the same as she was on part time but it was a full time position. She quit after a month, because she missed our daughter and wanted to work part time again. She has since got another job but the pay is litterally half what she was earning as a teachere.
This morning w had a huge argument about how she wants to quit this job and that i need to find a job that pays more money. I told her that she was being selfish and that i had already quit my dream career only for her to undermine it and get worse and worse paid roles. That if she was stressed about money she should shut up telling me to get a better job and find one herself. AmITheAsshole. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Oq1ndMYtLaEWzbt6ZrI8WdRf4HcijR7U | ab6ox0 | {
"description": "mentioning its mean for my gf to throw a surprise b-day party for her friend knowing she won't show up",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for mentioning its mean for my GF to throw a surprise B-day party for her friend knowing she won’t show up? | So here’s the situation. My GF has been having trouble meeting up with her childhood best friend because, for one reason or another, her friend will either flake on my GF last minute or be busy and not available. The best friend is a very social person and has a lot of friends she needs/wants to see and it seems to me like she still wants to be friends with my GF, but my GF is just further down on the list. This has been irritating my GF because she sees the best friend hanging out with other certain friends multiple times on social media without making time for my GF.
In response to this my GF and some other of her old childhood friends of hers came up with the idea to host a surprise birthday party for the flakey friend. Already assuming she won’t make it, they would still have the party with all the decorations in the background of their social media posts to show her that she missed her own surprise party.
This is the part where I need to know if I messed up. After she mentioned the proposed plan which her friends and mom approved of I just asked her if she thought that maybe the plan was a bit too petty. She seemed to be taken aback by the question and proceeded to explain again how she felt disrespected by her friend for flaking on her constantly and that it would show the friend that they both care about her enough to throw her a surprise party but also won’t put up with her actions. My response was to just say that I wouldn’t personally do that for one of my friends. She then seemed visibly upset for the remainder of the night we hung out and I couldn’t tell if she guilty about it or if she was upset with me.
So guys AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wLYZfZFNcWifEwOwx7TtJ4Y6Kj7PcAhq | azi1l7 | {
"description": "telling my friend there's still vomit in my car",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend there's still vomit in my car | Two nights ago, I went out with a group of friends to a club. I was the only one who didn't drink so I offered to drive. Half of them came in my car and the other half took an Uber because there wasn't enough space.
One of my friends got super drunk. To clarify, me and him aren't necessarily close friends because we recently met, but we are in the same group. When it was time to leave, he needed to be helped to my car. I asked if he was going to throw up because I was paranoid about it and he said he didn't need to. Everybody else said not to worry because he doesn't throw up.
During the car ride, I have to pull over so he can vomit. He sticks his head out of the car but he still gets vomit on my car in that space underneath the door as well as the outside of the car.
The next morning, my boyfriend told him what happened and he called me and said he's going to clean it. He even said it a couple of times. I met up with everybody in the morning because we were all going to spend the day together so I was with this guy pretty much all day. He was in my car this day too while we were driving places.
Fast forward to 11 pm, we're all hanging out and talking and I'm getting annoyed at this point because I feel like he's not going to clean his vomit. I said "my car still has throw up" and he gave me this straight face that just seemed mad.
I left it alone after that but I complained to my boyfriend. I don't think I was wrong to bring it up and I still have vomit in my car. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
NhHrkBzqj7FPHZLNqL1MsnEDmZiQCIOH | anwfi1 | {
"description": "restarting the Wi-Fi while my Nan watched her show",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for restarting the Wi-Fi while my Nan watched her show? | The TV Box that is set up in my house is directly linked to the Wi-Fi so it does have a habit of being a little slow and laggy especially when watching YouTube or just Gaming.
Tonight me & my sister were lagging terribly so I told my sister that I'd restart it so it could run smoother. Well straight after that, my Nanna went into a pissed off state and called me "Spiteful" because her show froze (even though there's a +1 channel for it)
My sister then told me that my Nan was crying which i was baffled by because it was only 5 minutes that she missed and it wasn't like she could not watch it again anyway.
If the same thing happened to me, I wouldn't be that annoyed, but I can't help but feel guilt because I upset her regardless of how ridiculous the whole situation sounds
I didn't intend on ruining her show but for her to make something minor a major incident makes it seem a petty attempt to make me feel terrible, but I don't know what to think.
I don't want to give the impression that I'm a bad person but i feel like I've done something terrible without initially realising it.
Reddit AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
hJlJLj3l7DHvUY9ubMrD73tuyCUL8XKa | aglnsi | {
"description": "doubting that my ex was raped",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 41
} | AITA For doubting that my (M18) ex (F16) was raped? | I dated this girl December last year until October this year, I really got to love her and I am not sure if I still love her, even after we broke I still supported about her supposed rape. Long story short, she got raped at 14 in Mexico by her cousin, she and I live in the US, the reasons why I doubt it is because.
1. She said everyone in her family knows, but they still gather to hang out like if nothing happened.
2. Her cousin family still comes to visit with the guy that raped her, again, like if it is normal.
3. On their last visit this December she said that she woke up with her pants down, if I was the rapist father, I wouldn't let them sleep in the same house.
4. When that thing happened in December she told me that the other guy that raped her was there too, another cousin, so I just found out that was not one, but two.
I have never been in a situation like this, that is why I am suspicious about all this, because I really find it stupid that no one in her family cares and see it like if nothing happened.
Thanks for your attention. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 39,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 41
} | WRONG |
J272l3USUUQYf3msyl5AJ0DbIV897woF | b8xy73 | {
"description": "inviting my friend to my flat even though he cheated on my flatmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for inviting my friend to my flat even though he cheated on my flatmate? | So I (19M) go to uni and my best friend at uni is also 19M, we'll call him Toby.
Toby dated my flatmate (19F), we'll call Amanda, for a few months from about September last year to January. Anyway towards the end of that relationship, he cheated on her when he hooked up with a girl at a nightclub (had sex with her). She found out and broke up with him (I didn't know he cheated until she broke up with him).
Anyway, I decided to stay friends with Toby, because even though I like Amanda, Toby is my best friend. Toby also had no remorse for what he did and seems unfazed.
I still invite Toby to our flat to hang out during the day and when I invite my friends for pre-drinks, I invite him then too. Me and Amanda live with about 4 others and they don't seem to care either, in fact they like Toby. And as to why I don't go to Toby's flat, its because his flat is always messy as fuck.
I can tell Amanda doesn't like it when I invite Toby, she just leaves the kitchen when he's there and blanks him, but I still invite him. She called me asshole but I said it won't change things, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
pFscBbqEsPuBO8sh7OqRBVsHh9EpTx6Y | amori1 | {
"description": "breaking my own laptop that my brother hid under a pile of pillows",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking my own laptop that my brother hid under a pile of pillows? | So, here's the story. My brother uses my laptop a lot and basically " owns"" it for most of the time, I'm completely chill with it.
So when I took a nap, my brother used my laptop, as usual, and then proceeded to hide it under a huge pile of pillows so that it's "safe" when he went to the pool.
I woke up, then I walked down the stairs to my room and saw a huge pile of pillows.
So I did what anyone would do when they see a pile of pillows and laid down on them. They're comfy after all!
As I laid down, I heard a cracking sound, then lifted the pile up to see what it was.
I was horrified when I found out it was my laptop.
I opened it up and my heart stopped for a moment. The display was broken.
My brother came back from the pool and was pissed at me too because he can't use my laptop anymore. He said it was my fault because "You didn't check first"
My mum sides with him and said it was my fault.
It's my computer after all... And my schoolwork is on it, making it very important. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xoVwkdzcbjKorUzhpeY3XB72WZ6leZxn | alu3am | {
"description": "being annoyed my gf warned me she will be sad on the anniversary of her brothers death",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 33
} | AITA for being annoyed my gf warned me she will be sad on the anniversary of her brothers death? | My (f29) girlfriend (f35) and I have been together 6 months and just moved in together. She is an extremely thoughtful and caring partner and I'm so glad she'll be with me to celebrate my 30th birthday in February.
I don't like to set people up for failure and told her explicitly this was an important birthday and that I wanted a day activity and dinner date. I'm always the one who plans our outings whereas she's more effective at beautifying our house and in general just being thoughtful and wonderful. I gave her the heads up because I just don't want to be disappointed but I could tell there was some hesitation / unsuredness around how to treat my birthday. Fast forward to last night and she's sounding out some ideas to me via text. I can tell she's putting some thought into what our activity will be and this makes me extremely happy. As we're discussing what the day is going to look like she goes on to warn me that "One more thing, that's the day my brother passed away and I may be sad that day." This kinda threw me but I wrote to her I was sorry and that we should do something to remember him by. She then responded "No that's okay, I post one picture of him every year on insta but I'm usually sad all day".
Now this is where I ask AITA here for feeling annoyed? The timing is shitty and she's fully entitled to feeling sad on this day but warning me she's going to be in a funk dampens any excitement I had about my birthday. Her brother died 10 years ago and from what I understand she barely saw him growing up due to divorce and long distances. That sounds petty writing out but I know for a fact they weren't close. Still she's a sensitive person and I'm sure her feelings of sadness are genuine. Am I being totally insensitive here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 33
} | WRONG |
bfFk15x4SfJaL067NOo7KL02j7pjUeec | a9brgs | {
"description": "saying I don't want anything for our anniversary",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying I don’t want anything for our anniversary? | My husband and I are currently long distance. A little bit of background on this: we were long distance for 4 years before we got married with plans to move in together. I relocated to where he was living on the other side of the world. 2 months after moving there I got really sick and we were paying $$ out of pocket for doctors in his country ( I didn’t have health insurance there yet). When we realized this was something more than a bug or an infection, I decided to come home to get my health sorted out as I have insurance here. Husband stayed there as he’s going to school there and didn’t have a visa to come home with me. I’m in the midst of being diagnosed with lupus and since then we’ve been long distance again.
Our anniversary is next week. Unfortunately, this year we won’t be together to celebrate it but after talking about it we agreed (in October when it became clear we wouldn’t be able to be together for it) we will celebrate it the next time we are together (kind of like a rain check?). Right now it seems like that will be around March.
Three or four weeks after this agreement I realize something is up. He’s answering questions vaguely, not messaging me when he’s at certain places, my sister mentions he’s been messaging her(they have planned one surprise together before), I see charges on our bank account, etc. Just little things.
Like a week later we end up getting into an unrelated argument about communication and time. That bleeds over into releasing our frustrations on not being together, especially for our special day.
Of course these little things are on my mind and I ask him again if we are still in agreement on what we decided on. (I wanted to know so if he wanted to do something on the day of I could have some kind of delivery ready for him to receive). He says yes. I inquire about the questionable things I’ve noticed and he’s vague.
At that point I didn’t want to ruin any plans or anything he had done (but I was annoyed from the argument and frustrated that I wouldn’t be seeing him) so I said “ All I’m sayin is that weirdness is usually bc of somethin & I know our day is comin up but we decided we’re going to celebrate it whenever we get together & being apart for it is already hard enough so please just save anything for when we’re together “.
He assured me about it and we moved on from there.
I didn’t mean to come off as ungrateful to him or snotty I just want to celebrate the day with him in person whenever we get the chance to. I’m fine with waiting as long as we can be together. I already know I will be an emotional wreck that day as I have a procedure scheduled and am going through it alone without him and will be thinking about him the entire day and wishing I could be with him. I’m just looking for the day to pass at this point, it’s like a major bump in the road that I’ve been thinking about constantly for the past two weeks. I know I will have a breakdown and I’m anxious about how bad it will be. I want to get past it and fast forward to March so we can celebrate the day and be together.
He didn’t take it the wrong way as he knows I’m going through a lot and how much I miss him but recently I was talking to a friend about it and she asked what our plans were and I explained the agreement and she thought it was stupid of me to say.
A big part of me thinks if we’re both okay with it and nothing is wrong then all is well. And the other part of me is questioning it now because of her comments? Am I the asshole for saying this to him?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kQNj2HPE2uip1t9nuks6HZX5xBmUF0vQ | b30vnz | {
"description": "not going to my dad's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I don't go to my dad's wedding? | (My first post let me know if I should fix anything.)
&#x200B;
So a little backstory so you know the circumstances of the situation:
My parents split up a long time ago, when i was around 12, due to my father cheating on my mom. We lived abroad during that time so me and my mom moved back and dad continued to live abroad. I have had a rocky relationship with him due to us not seeing each other a lot. Besides that the women he cheated with moved in with him within a year or two after my parents split up. Fast forwards a few years, I was just 18 and my parents finally get their official divorce. My dad needs to pay child support to me, we did not want to involve lawyers and tried to come to an agreement together. Since I had a hard time figuring out what I would need I asked my dad multiple times to come with an offer, he never did. My mothers lawyer suggested it might be beneficial if she could represent me, and I agreed to let her do that. When my dad found out he became furious saying how 'I chose my mothers side' , and some other things. This was obviously never my intention and I tried to explain that, but I couldn't get through to him or he didn't understand or i don't know. But after that he distanced himself from me, and eventually broke off our contact.
I still have to update him every three months on my studies until I am 23 (in turn I get my child support). But I also send him birthday and Christmas cards every year, and recently I have send him some texts to update him in between the emails in the hopes that he warms up to me again.
Now yesterday I notified my dad through text that I was selected to go aboard for my studies next semester (I got my first choice Hong Kong and I am very happy). He then asked me if he could call me, which was shocking to me since I haven't spoken to him in almost three years. He told me that he was happy for me, and that he was going to remarry. He would be marring the women he cheated with. He did want to me to be at the wedding but the wedding will be held (in Swiss, where we lives) during the semester I am in Hong Kong.
&#x200B;
On one hand I am very happy that he wants to reconnect, but I dont know how I feel about the wedding. I do not hate the woman he will be marrying, but I also do not like her. I do not want my old feelings or his choice in women stand in the way of our future relation. Furthermore, I would have to fly in for the weekend and going to Hong Kong is amazing but also financially straining for me.
&#x200B;
So, maybe disregarding the financial difficulties, would I be the asshole if I do not attend my dads wedding? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
SSXG3QXesdD0VsZcMeF4iz6hYNYaOGFm | akwpf2 | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my dad's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to go to my dad's wedding? | My parents have been divorced since I was a young kid and my dad has since then remarried a woman and then got divorced again. He's coming on his third marriage. The woman lives in a different state than him and has 3 young kids and I have only met her 2 or 3 times.
I call my dad to do a weekly check in and he asks me if I'm interested in going to a wedding and I asked who's and he said it was his. I asked when it was and he said it was in 3 weeks. I asked what the hell the rush was since most people plan a wedding 6 months to a year out and he didn't really give me a great reason. Only my aunt, uncle, and I were invited, so it's a very small wedding. He never even told me that he was engaged but I knew from Facebook stalking her.
Something in my gut just really does not want to go, especially since I would have to fly there and I am a student in the middle of midterms and such. He said he would really like me to be there and that he doesn't ask much of me. Am I the asshole for telling him I did not want to go and planning on not going?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jQ2AlugdOF99JyyPgtBbMEoLL8kAbUhs | b7adun | {
"description": "asking my girlfriend not to share what I consider to be personal information",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my girlfriend not to share what I consider to be personal information. | My girlfriend likes to share stuff about our lives with her two best friends and I recently told her I'm not comfortable with what she's been sharing with them. For example, she's sharing things such as positions we due different sexual acts in (like how we'll both usually be positioned when she blows me), how i feel inside her, she even shared my text conversation with her where I told her I was uncomfortable with the personal things she's been sharing. She says that she's just talking with her girlfriends and that it's not about me, it's just about talking and sharing parts of her life with them. I understand that she's just trying to talk with her friends but I think that what she's been saying is too personal and that asking her to not share personal things is completely reasonable. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UlLCSc8hILo1jD43xSzrVSOjDpW7mL8h | b4av2z | {
"description": "not wanting to go to College against my Father's wishes",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For Not Wanting to Go to College Against my Father's Wishes? | Some background here about my upbringing as I really want to set the stage. He and my mom have done as much as they can for the family, both emotionally and financially. They are quite well off and have corporate jobs, but they spent as much time as they could with me and my two older sisters growing up. My dad in particular has been incredibly supportive of me and my sisters throughout our entire lives. He's a very accepting kind of guy and tries his best to be BOTH a friend and dad to us (we come from a 100% south asian background so this is a really big deal for me at least).
&#x200B;
I remember when my sister was extremely conscious of her weight during her high school years, he worked out with her in the gym "to help boost her confidence". During my high school days, he encouraged me to join sports teams and make friends and came to my games (pretty athletic, but have sports performance anxiety). Always gave me and my sisters advice like "teenagers don't really have much empathy so be aware of that", taught us the importance of respect, and "time is the best medicine" and what not.
&#x200B;
In many ways, he didn't ask for much but he really really valued education and self-learning. We were to read books he gave us outside of our school curriculum and if we weren't in some summer learning camp, he always encouraged us pick some summer project to pursue or learn from. In any case, my two sisters really took on with this mindset and both went to uni and are doing great. He's paid/paying off tuition for both of them, and was planning on doing the same with me.
&#x200B;
I'm in my senior year, and to my guilt have been lying to both my parents that I've finished my college apps. I haven't. Haven't even done one. I had no interest in college, and honestly wanted to travel after high school. Maybe some type of gap year? But even after that, I was planning on going into woodworking or some other craftsmanship (not the 4 year degree kind my dad's looking for) or maybe nothing, but that shouldn't matter, I'll find a way to support myself and I'm not going to mooch off of my parents' wealth.
&#x200B;
In any case, I just told them last week of all of this. After a big argument (me and my sisters almost never argue with him), he isn't talking to me for the time being. I can tell he's incredibly disappointed and so is my mom. When I talked to my sisters about it, they didn't have much to say but did call my decision to not go to college "stupid" and "after everything they've done this is the least I can do". My parents are really well educated (dad got a professional degree from Cornell) and my sisters are pretty darn smart too, so I understand. I love my family and I know this is probably the one thing my dad asked of me, but still, I don't know if he has the right to make me go get a degree. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
DZzd9c552Sz4UcZNu4B2pFzclnMOF6ad | 9udmc6 | {
"description": "booking on a uni trip out of the country for a week (which includes my birthday) and angering my gf",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for booking on a uni trip out of the country for a week (which includes my birthday) and angering my gf? | Soooooo... a timeline first,
I put my deposit down around september (the start of term) for a ski trip due for the middle of December. This ski trip is for the course I’m on at uni and in my last year of uni I thought it would be nice to go, so me and my housemates have booked on.
I remember discussing this with my gf when I put down my deposit, and told her that it would be in the middle of December but was non-specific on the actual dates as I wasn’t 100% sure of them at the time. I’m not sure if she was upset about this at the time as granted I’m not particularly perceptive in general.
So around two weeks ago it comes up in conversation and I let her know the exact dates leaving and coming back and that my birthday falls on one of the days I’m away. So my gf gets really annoyed at me for this and tells me I should want to spend my birthday with her. I said to her that it’s not about my birthday and I would happily spend time with her for my birthday on another day/weekend. I said that it was more that I really want to go skiing and this trip is the cheapest I can really manage and the only time I can go due to the rigid schedule of placement we have to attend in final year uni (and the fact that it’s a uni trip and I have no control over the dates). I’m not really fussed about my birthday tbh, I never see it as a big deal and don’t like a fuss being made over me, though I understand my gf isn’t like this. She stays angry at me through the next few days, saying it’s not because I’m away on my birthday, but she’s upset because I didn’t check with her before I booked the trip (she did know about it but not the exact dates until 2 weeks ago.)
And now over the weekend I’ve paid the final balance and let her know, then she became really angry with me again. She says it is a lack of communication on my part (which is fine I accept I’m not always amazing at that), and she also says that I should check with her in future before things like this. I personally get the impression she is just unhappy that I’m going full-stop but she says this isn’t the case.
And now she says she’ll be unhappy about this until I’m back home after the trip (in a month and a halfs time). So I feel horrendously guilty now for booking the trip, and it being on my birthday. In my opinion I’ve not don’t much wrong, I’ve booked on a trip I really wanted to go on in my last year of uni and just so happens it’s on my birthday My gf is really mad at me. I could understand if I was missing her birthday but it’s mine and I’m not bothered about my bday.
I Dont want to feel guilty for doing something for me. Judge me please internet people, I’m happy to be told I’m wrong | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.