id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
fsOcb6w49NqLYKpwM738HrFqSnu2Oa7P | a08dp8 | {
"description": "rejecting men who have slept with a high number of women",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for rejecting men who have slept with a high number of women? | Title. I've been single for a little while and have been doing some online dating. I've had matches where, in casual conversation, the number of women the man I've matched with has come up. In one particular case he had told me he'd slept with 80+ women in the space of 9 years. This made me incredibly uncomfortable and I said that I wouldn't like to go any further with this man but that I'd be open to staying friends because we have a lot in common otherwise. He went nuts and was saying my view was unfair and that I shouldn't be judging him based on his past and I was close-minded and an entitled bitch for rejecting him.
​
A similar scenario happened more recently. Another match, he'd had a lot of hookups but had "never kept count". This has also made me uncomfortable and unwilling to take it further than a friendship, but I'm now scared of the fallout that could happen if I tell him the reason behind why I don't want to take things further. Am I the asshole for saying no to men who have slept with a lot of women? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
hwd6m4lLyBrAt27bZF6ZFxq97iQu7yFR | ax1nmr | {
"description": "not understanding the duties of a groomsman",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not understanding the duties of a groomsman? | So one of my oldest and best friends is getting married, and I was asked to be a groomsman. I'm in my late 20s but have never been in a wedding before. I pictured planning a bachelor party and that was about it.
Today we went to a suit fitting which I thought I might have to pay for some of, but the suit rental is $200, and neither I nor the other groomsmen expected this. Doing some research I realize this is common practice, but I had no idea, and he made no attempt to communicate this cost.
So on top of this, lodging for the wedding, and a bachelor party we are all looking at at least $500 each. I love my friend and I am honored to be a part of this moment in his life, but I feel that he didn't even try and prepare is for this expense and I'm feeling a little bitter. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
k60o1OWfvthKqw6vRDEFlZW1z0werVF5 | ah8nm0 | {
"description": "leaving my friend to walk on his own because he is late",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my friend to walk on his own because he is late? | Ok so a bit of backstory here. Me and my three friends walk to a school everyday let's call my late friend friend one (F1) my friend who is never late F2 and the one who is late but has a valid excuse as he lives far away from the meeting spot. Every day we meet at F1's House to walk to school our original time to meet was eight twenty and whenever we got tired of waiting for F1 to get ready (he was sometimes up to 10 minutes late.)
However, when we left him he could walk with our other friend group who walked a different route and left at 8:30. At the request of both F1 and F3 We also started leaving at 8:30.
Even after we started leaving at 8:30 F1 was still always lat be 5 or 10 minutes and because this is the North of Scotland in winter we get fed up of waiting and just leave him, often forcing him to walk on his own. So, am I the asshole for leaving my friend even after we gave him another 10 minutes?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jjh8eSkx44vZvt0oJmRUI2BhLD8UmShX | ank37x | {
"description": "causing my sister move out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for causing my sister move out? | Some context: my older sister is almost 30, and I’m 24. We both used to live with my parents. Our parents don’t ask much, they don’t charge us for rent, but they do ask to to pick up bills here and there, clean the house for them, and run errands for them. It’s not unreasonable in the slightest, seeing as they don’t charge us for rent.
However, I’m the only one who does any of that. I clean, I pay my share of the bills, and I run errands. My sister does not. If she’s asked to run an errand, she’ll go out to her friends houses before coming home without the errand being done. When it comes to chores, she sits around until I get fed up of waiting on her to do her share, and I end up doing it.
She has an overnight job. I get it. I do too. But if I can do chores and errands while juggling an overnight job and college classes, she can make time to help out too.
Lately, my parents have been cracking down on her laziness and not helping. At first, I thought they were being hyper critical and too harsh on her, but now I’m seeing where their frustration stems from. And I got fed up too.
So when my sister came to me, ranting about how unfair my parents were being, I told her unless she starts pulling her weight around here and stop acting like a victim when she’s rightfully criticized, then they have every right to be so called “unfair”.
My sister got upset with me, shouted at me, and practically ignored me until she moved out a week ago. She’s pretty much ghosted me and my family. Last I heard from her roommate, my sister has been having a hard time emotionally and mentally.
AITA for this? Or AITA for believing that she brought this on herself and moping over it doesn’t change anything? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
nZQH1xshR1AceLSicAUshgWzq1fSPxMu | b3ofvy | {
"description": "not taking a \"friend\" to a concert anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I don’t take a „friend“ to a concert anymore. | I had a major fight with a friend, because he was being dishonest and lying a lot to me.
Despite the fact that I still believe I was right to confront him about the lying and deceiving, I realized I could’ve handled the situation better and that I fucked up. So I apologized multiple times but he said he is done with the friendship and that he doesn’t want to ever talk to me again (this was in October/November).
He was actually really important to me so I decided I’ll give him some time and try again. We met up a couple of weeks later and he totally shut me off and told me he is moving away in April so there’s no reason for him to talk to me again anyway. I was sad about his choice and tried to accept it. The reason I tried so many times was because the things I said were really hurtful (despite being true), plus I know him very well, he usually needs time to calm down.
Around Christmas I saw that his favorite artist is going on tour and I managed to get two really great seats, the concert was sold out shortly after. So I wrote him a card of how much our friendship meant to me and told him maybe we can still work things out and that I wanted to take him to said concert.
He instantly forgave me and told me maybe we should have another talk after Christmas to work things out. Even tho it was kind of a surprise I was really happy that he forgave me and I looked forward to talking to him.
Well, he never contacted me again, so I asked him in February if he still wanted to talk about things, but he made excuses and said he was super busy.
Anyway, we met three days ago (after three months) and I realized that he doesn’t want to be friends again, he just wants to go to the concert and I’m pretty certain go NC after. He couldn’t care less about me or our friendship.
So I am thinking about not taking him and not telling him. Will I be the asshole if I do and if so, is it ok to be an asshole in my situation or what should I do? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
iaAoMmbJRFwOdQ22uGB4cFsxlgiweeiE | a94yex | {
"description": "not feeling greatful",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not feeling greatful? | At my work we did a secret Santa. For my giftee I took time and got her things that suited her and her interests (A coffee mug, some chcolate, a book on coffee and a candle). My Santa got me a generic candle, and managed to spell my name wrong.
Am I the asshole for feeling ungrateful? It just feels like no thought or care went into this.
I'm not going to say anything to her, however I don't think I'm going to participate next year due to this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
urSJpJXLRWdHOvi0waAzjBFONMm5klOZ | b6sm4j | {
"description": "not wanting to pay my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to pay my friend? | So I know this sounds weird but my friend and I decided to do a slime business thing (yeah that thing that stopped being popular in 2016) because a lot of people in our school are obsessed with it and we want to make some cash money. Well my friend and I planned this out a few months ago and recently just said screw it and decided to start it. Well our other friend overheard and asked to join and we had open arms because we love her. Let’s call the new person np. Well np tends not to be on her phone often so we can’t contact her like ever. Well it’s now spring break and we’ve decided to make the slime so then we can go to school the next week and get some money (we already had a few requests). But me and my friend tried contacting np over and over again but she never answered so she didn’t come and we made all the stuff without her. Now let’s make this clear, is expensive to start making slime, my friend had gotten basically all the supplies and I make the stuff but np doesn’t really have a purpose in it. During the sleepover my friend and I started talking and decided not to pay np her portion of what the slimes would cost because she wasn’t present and didn’t have any supplies to offer. Am I the asshole for not paying her in the thing we had planned together? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3Ikk2JnDHYBMtLcaA0GhsVwlMlsUT498 | b9fxkm | {
"description": "swearing in front of an old lady",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for swearing in front of an old lady? | I really hate my job. It takes everything in my power to get through with my days. I enjoy what I actually do, it’s the interacting with other people part that gets to me.
I also tend to have a potty mouth. Are usually keep it in check, but occasionally things will just come flying out. Most of the people I work with are understanding of this, and swear a little bit themselves.
So I’m having a crappy day today, go down to the cafeteria. I see the most beautiful slice of cheesecake and declare ( loudly) “oh sweet Jesus look at that!”
I look up to see an old woman glaring at me, then shaking her head and walking away. Aren’t people used to casual swearing by now? Especially when it is not in anger. Sweet Jesus isn’t even that bad of a swear honestly.
Now I feel like an asshole because I actually got excited about something at work for once instead of burying my head on my desk and crying for an hour.
So am I the asshole for offending an old woman over a sexy slice of dairy delight? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
4N2jdqimUQ5h2CqBgTNEzUDDrKKt75d8 | b0ix90 | {
"description": "expecting them to donate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for expecting them to donate? | Our service club held a fundraiser one night where we rented out our university's bowling alley and charged a $15 fee to allow people to bowl for a few hours (we also provided snacks and refreshments). We were raising money to purchase wheelchairs for children in Tanzania who weren't able to afford a wheelchair. We called it "Bowling for Wheelchairs" (I know, we lack creativity).
While I was in charge of admissions, two students arrived in wheelchairs (legit disabled, and members of the university wheelchair basketball team). They were like, "Whoa bowling for wheelchairs? Cool! Does that mean we get to bowl for free tonight?" I thought they were just joking so I laughed and explained our fundraiser and said the admission price was for a good cause. But they got kind of affronted and said, "What, you're really going to make us pay?" I was flabbergasted. I figured THEY of all people should understand how essential a wheelchair is to the independence they now enjoy and would want the same for these children. And I know we're all broke college students but $15 ain't going to break the bank.
I was just about to reiterate what a good cause it was when my club president and two of my fellow event organizers walked by and the wheelchair guys asked them if they could come bowl for free. My president shrugged and said sure and let them in. He has final say obviously, so I kept quiet. But as soon as they were out of earshot I turned and asked my fellow organizers if they didn't think it was ridiculous that these guys didn't want to donate and they all just shrugged and said it's fine and that it might look good to have some people in wheelchairs at the event.
I let it go but I'm still so mad about it and shocked that I was the only person who objected at all and it made me feel like I was being unreasonable or being an ass. Was I??? Those guys never donated by the way. -_- | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
CnHoxCYtbfbrAL2mkYbV2MqO1JhKDyKe | a4kwjz | {
"description": "responding to misandry with misogyny",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For responding to misandry with misogyny? |
I was at a family gathering this Friday. My mom and aunt were talking about women and feminism, when I heard my aunt say something along the lines of "..yeah women are just generally smarter than men.." to which I responded "I've never heard a man talk about astrology"- this was followed by 10 minutes of berating by both my mom and aunt, telling me this type of talk is unacceptable and I need to learn to understand women. The atmosphere was lighthearted before I made my comment, and honestly I made it as a joke, didn't expect both of them to turn on me that fast.
Is it really ok for women to trash talk men, and not ok for men to respond back?
Please keep in mind the culture in my country is a bit different, and here all the "supernatural" stuff (tarot cards, fortune tellers, coffee readers etc) is done mostly by women- all of which seems kinda silly to me, but to each his own | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
W10mhAhOrhPRoopwsWgHQAvMLK7mnIht | au3ns0 | {
"description": "getting my mom to get my gay coworker to stop hitting on me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting my mom to get my gay coworker to stop hitting on me? | I [22M] used to work at Target a few months back and had a male coworker who was about mid 20s. We weren’t exactly friends but we talked sometimes and we were cool. As someone who has Asperger’s and struggles with communication and have doubts about working with people, I asked him if I was awkward, and he said no. I guess that showed I trusted him and he wanted to talk more. Soon, it was common for him to text me during our shifts about whatever and even offered to “Netflix and Chill.” Being surprised but kind of finding it funny, I jokingly called him out on the obvious hint and said if he ever wants to hang out, let me know (probably a big mistake).
He continues to text me for a couple of days and I continue to be friendly. However, it started getting awkward with the homoerotic but not sexual gifs, I’m not exactly mad or freaked out but I started giving excuses for not being able to text anymore.
A day later, I tell my mom about it to get some advice and she was weirded out about it, she’s just that protective. With great damn timing, he texts me right in the middle of the conversation. Wanting to weasel my way out of it for the time being, I got my mom to text him that I was out with my brother and I forgot my phone, using my phone, giving me plausible deniability. He replied “ah.”
During my day off, I go to pick some things up and I see him going into the store. I talk to him to again be friendly and while he didn’t seem mad, he ended the conversation abruptly. On my next shift, we small talked but walked away in a hurry, it’s important to note when this kicked off, I was greeted with a hug. It was clear at this point, he was probably upset. I felt bad and tried to get some advice, but I got nothing useful.
Eventually, I left Target and while I do still shop there, I kind of sneak around Metal Gear Solid style while feeling a mix of guilt and awkwardness hoping I don’t run into him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
RoiyjcQFREzkSuNPcSRKrCMgcSszv9B3 | ai4lhm | {
"description": "not texting back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not texting back? | so i’ve been talking to a girl for about 4 months now, asked her out, got rejected, continued talking to her regularly. this was over winter break, where i has tons of free time and could sleep whenever i wanted. now in school, i have no free time so i haven’t texted her in 2 weeks. we’re still friends but don’t talk nearly as much as over break. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kCH1Xrm99WtiC0aGpKbnftpfaGmqB792 | b8zzh6 | {
"description": "kicking out my best friend of 7 years for disrespecting my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For kicking out my best friend of 7 years for disrespecting my boyfriend? | So some back story. I met my best friend my sophomore year of high school in the girls locker room. I had BRIGHT pink hair at the time and her favorite color was pink. So is was instant best friends from there on out. And were inseparable.
Fast forward 7 years, we have both graduated and have jobs. And still see each other almost every day.
I had just gotten relationship and had being living together for a few months. My SO, BF, and I hung out daily. And we finally talked about her moving in. We heavily talked about house rules and chores and rent. We all seems to be in agreement.
She agreed to $400/m in rent, cleaning up after herself, no people in the house without one of us being home, and cleaning her cat litter box.
She moved in and all was well...... For a short time....
Our house was happy and peaceful for the first 2 months. We went shopping together, went to dinners, and just generally had fun together.
Around month 3, she had gotten an army boyfriend and she started coming home at all hours of the night. She even tried to sneak him in our house when she thought we were sleeping.
Slowly she started staying home less and less. She only came home to change and eat food. The dishes in her room started to pile up with half eaten food in them. They were my brand new dishes. If she cooked food in the kitchen, all the dishes sat in the sink until my SO would clean them. She never once lift a finger to help us clean the house.
The litter box in her room started making the entire upstair smell putrid. I would gag walking by her room. Her poor cat was locked in her room with no food or water and was shitting wherever he wanted because the litter box was overflowing.
Since she was never home, I left I noted on her door telling her she needed clean her room and take care of her cat and stop treating our house like a storage unit. That it was extremely disrespectful to my SO who let her move into his house after I have to spend a month begging him to let her move it.
Her rent was due 2 weeks after I wrote her the note.
She left and didn't clean anything I was furious! My SO and I both agreed to give her the legal 30day eviction notice.
She didn't pay rent and refused to pay so her 30days became a 3day notice to move out.
I haven't spoken to her since. Am I the asshole for being too harsh? I miss her at times and want to reach out but then I think about what she did to myself, my SO and how to almost starved her cat to death, I get so mad.
*I didn't let her cat starve, I would give him food, water and let him out of her garbage landfill of a room
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
iRfPh3omzMblA1IPFonT4bL1SMvMUN6T | b6xgr2 | {
"description": "possibly quitting my job right after I've had an augmentation",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for possibly quitting my job right after I've had an augmentation? | I'll do this quick since I'm on the pooper. I got a raise yesterday for my good work and many other employees have given good words of me to the bosses resulting in this raise. But I have an interview this afternoon elsewhere, at job a I'd much rather like. Plus the salary difference would only be of 1$. I guess my current job is a good backup plan if I don't have the other job. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mcKyOVwpRaD1Xyl5zUs5dK4UfBSMKm35 | artfbv | {
"description": "refusing to attend my Ex-Husbands Funeral",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Refusing To Attend My Ex-Husbands Funeral? | So, we had a messy divorce. My Ex, William changed after 10 years. He went from kind to this bigoted monstrosity of a human being. the final straw happened two years ago when he told my brother he should go kill himself for dating an immigrant and when I confronted him about his behavior he full on hit me. I called the cops and he screamed and broke stuff. Take that as the basis for the rest of the divorce. Anyways, turns out William had some kind of brain lesion that no one knew about until it killed him a few months after everything was finalized. His brother told me about it and tried to say that maybe the lesion was the reason my ex acted the way he did. He wants me to come to the funeral, and I really, really don't want to. A few friend are telling me I am an asshole for not going. They keep saying 10 years of marriage should count for something. That his family is my family too. I am honestly torn. Am I the asshole for not wanting anything to do with Williams family now? Is it really that bad to just want to be DONE with it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IPjwsym38fPgwYieAsPrTTnt84YDRR9f | aydof2 | {
"description": "asking for proper training for my dog",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I asked for proper training for my dog? | My parents separated in September 2017. When my parents separated, they both decided that neither one of them wanted the family dog (hes 7 now) however they would pay for his food and vet bills if I kept him. As time goes on, I've learned how poorly behaved my dog is. He doesnt listen, if I dont pay attention to him he whimpers, he bites my cats if I'm petting them instead of him. Hes honestly a great companion and I love him to death. But its reaching a point where my friends won't even come over because of his poor behaviour and I find myself getting frustrated almost daily. Would I be the asshole if I told my parents that they need to pay for him to be properly trained? I just dont know what to do anymore. Hes a great dog but his lack of training makes it hard for me to handle him anymore. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
XUPotbYbYIexKZd3kvKuCRawfI8fozd6 | b2vkhs | null | WIBTA Hey wants me to pay him back $1200 for money he gave to me | Me and ‘x’ have known each other for 6 years and have been on and off for about 3.5. In the beginning it was fine but after a while he started to manipulate, lie, emotionally abuse, and verbally attack me. It ended up with him cheating on me twice and a whole lot of break downs until I finally broke up with that x. We still remained friends because for some stupid reason there was never any issues until we were officially dating.
I definitely acted out and ended up dating ‘j’ it didn’t really work out after he decided that he wanted to sleep around while he was on holiday with his family.
The next guy ‘c’ treated me with respect and kindness (we have been together over a year now) and through out the past and present relationships x has been there for me. He would shower me in gifts every time he saw me (even if I said no I might be at work and he would walk in with them). Sometimes he even paid for my car to get fixed. He wanted to take me on an all expenses paid trip to japan worth about 10 grand and he said I didn’t need to pay a cent (I didn’t go since I was with someone else).
In the end he has now decided that I owe him $1200 which was used to fix and replace items on my car. He said to me (I have screenshots) that I did not need to pay him back and he never expected me to pay him. He also refused to give me his bank details.
He is saying that I used, and abused him because he had money. He is now saying this as it is also the end of the friendship.
Do you think I should pay him back anything?
WIBTA?
What would you do/say? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
ny6H1Fr352HS0aQkO1Skneer4futHJYo | 9yxlsx | {
"description": "mocking a disabled person",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for mocking a disabled person | Sorry for bad formatting, I’m on my phone
Ok so this just happened. My friend and I were playing tennis for a while until we had to pick up the balls. Not wanting to pick them up manually, we decided to go get a ball sweeper, which is basically like a lawnmower.
We get the sweeper, but being the idiots we are, my friend decided to sit on the sweeper and ride it as I walked him forward. Unfortunately, just as he did it, a person in a wheelchair came past, and it really looked like we her mocking him. My friend quickly got off the sweeper, but as we were walking to our court we passed the guy again and it was really awkward.
I don’t know what to do. It was not intentional but I still fill guilty. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
51OeGNlepkt5TMkvRJQkSEZ7QEohh1xI | b4a8xq | {
"description": "telling my coworkers someone they worked with before I got there is possibly a predator",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my coworkers someone they worked with before I got there is possibly a predator? | I just graduated college in May so I’m a brand new 22 year old teacher. My school is urban and very small- there are 60 kids and 10 teachers. I’m the only English teacher. I’m very sarcastic and make a lot of jokes. However, there are certain things I don’t joke about. We do not make jokes about race, gender, gender orientation, etc. My school is all black so they understand the equality for race, however, most the kids (and a number of staff members) still think less of women, gay people, trans, etc. There are a few other teachers new to the school, but they’ve been in teaching for years now.
Anyway, there have been a few times where the staff who have been there prior to this year complain how they miss their old math teacher. Apparently, he was fired for a student accusing him of inappropriate acts, which has actually been a problem in our school district. I just minded my own business for awhile because he doesn’t work here anymore. I never met the man and I don’t know anything about him.
Recently while talking about him they all started saying how there is no way he could do that. I sat there for a little, but eventually I had to say something. In essence I said, “I get he’s your friend, but you can’t assume he’s innocent. That’s kind of how these things start. The only people who know what really happened are him and the student. You can’t disregard the accusation because he’s your friend.” One guy responded saying I have negative thinking. Another staff member responded saying if I knew the student I would get it because apparently the student had some problems at home and possibly mentally. To this i responded, “well to me, it sounds like he could’ve found a vulnerable student who you guys would discredit.”
There were a few teachers who were like “we think he didn’t do it, but you’re right.” Others think I’m just super negative and rude and assume the worst of people. Obviously I’m a young female (and am a pretty strong, independent young woman) so one accused me of being ultra feminist.
So, honest people of Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
y0uMLVwFSIvU8lOIbcI2C5UGS4B4PaQ0 | amvopn | {
"description": "not giving a pregnant woman my food",
"pronormative_score": 209,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for not giving a pregnant woman my food. | I was at a Super Bowl party, with another guest is the pregnant wife of a close friend. There is a ton of food at the party, but I have allergies, and chose to bring my own food, to avoid any cross contamination. One of the things I brought for myself was a bowl of chili, everyone else was eating pizza. The pregnant woman knows I have allergies. When I heated up and began eating my chili, she started making pointed comments about how good it smelled and how “the baby” wanted it. I mostly ignored her, as there was no way I’m giving her my food, when I can’t eat anything else. She continued making comments, finally involving her husband, having him take me aside and ask if she could just have a little bit, since it smelled so good to her. She involved her husband to ask me, as well as publicly making a fuss about how I wasn’t sharing, despite me explaining the situation.
My gut says I’m NTA, but I’ve also never been pregnant, so I’m not sure how intense the cravings can really be. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 205,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 209,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
INix5h2Aojs4HyvhO4gNOIDgiNl4zZ6a | 9y8yul | {
"description": "keeping things real",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for keeping things real | I have some leaders at church that I have over heard call me "worthless", "loser", "cocksucker", etc. We ended up meeting about it because it was complete bullshit that someone in charge was talking about a member like that. He never apologized (after I wrote him a page long paper apologizing for anything I might have done) because "he likes me as a leader but doesn't care about me as a person" and it was my fault for listening to him talk about me.
This has been months and the pattern has been the same. But every time he sees me he wants to shake my hand and act like we're good friends. I try to keep conversations to a minimal but I want to just tell him we're not going to be fake because it's immature. Should I act like I like him too? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9JShB225W9xcfXjfn0RMyoKhfE2yg8WH | am032o | {
"description": "liking Instagram posts about cars and somewhat sexual women",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for liking Instagram posts about cars and somewhat sexual women? | Well, I have to explain that one further.
I (m) follow a few car related Instagram accounts, one of which is focused on one specific brand. They upload anything from shots of the Logo to women "posing" in front of the cars. And this is where the AITA comes in.
Over the last few months I've liked just about all posts that account makes, mostly absentmindedly while scrolling down my home page. One of those images included a woman in very short shorts standing over the engine bay, the other a girl in the driver's seat with the male photographer grabbing her thigh. Nothing overtly sexual and I didn't give the pictures any thought after liking (because I liked the picture as a whole) and scrolling past. Both of those pictures are mainly focused on the cars imo.
Yesterday, my girlfriend sent me Screenshots of the two posts with the "Merkel4Lyfe likes this" at the bottom. She said that she doesn't want to see that from her boyfriend, that it's to be expected of me to think about what I like and that she has noticed this before and hasn't said anything earlier.
AITA for liking an Instagram post without calculating all possible outcomes that double tap could have?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
glOxLsn1izV2y89qtVzsGNRMY963mHAd | anb54i | {
"description": "asking my wife if nearly 2 years how to get her to like living here more than she has",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for asking my wife if nearly 2 years how to get her to like living here more than she has? | So this has been brewing in my head for a week or so and on & off for a while in general. The thoughts all started when I brought up having a will and she said she would immediately take the pets and go back to Germany if I died tomorrow. I'm from a major city in America and she's from a major city in Germany.
Every time anything doesn't go her way or people are a special kind of asshole she goes down the road of "this country *such n such*" and "in Germany this would be different" which kind of hurts because, ya know, this is my country. She talks to her family back home just about every day (which is fine) so it's not like she has a bad relationship with them. She tends to look forward to seeing them more than anything else we do all year. I understand it since I would be homesick too. It's natural, right? We do have pretty good communication. She is 100%fluent in English.
There have been the tirades of "I didn't plan on staying here" and "I'm only here because you're here." I've told her on numerous occasions that she makes me feel a ton of pressure when she says that. She even says "I know I'm not being forced to stay here" and I get a chin hair away from saying "then fucking go already" but I wouldn't do that because I love her and that's a true dick head thing to say.
Today was the day where I found the correct words to not sound like an attack (IMHO). I said "what can we do to help you feel better about being here?" and "How does it sound to have kids and for 10 years you're saying to them 'yaaayy we're moving to Germany in X amount of years!' while we wait for my retirement even though we don't know what our lives will be 15 years from now" with the conversation continuing along the lines of let's get you invested in being here. You hate your lack of vacations and my health insurance? Maybe start looking in to better jobs (I'm a government employee). I also said "I know you got excited when I said 'I could see retiring in Germany' on our trip but we can't go the next 15+ years waiting for that when we're supposed to be starting our own family since we said our vows."
Her short and general response is she knows and she feels she needs green card stuff to work out before going for a search for passions and career stuff but I softly called bullshit because nothing distracts from stress like new stress or trying new things. So for the next 4 hours we silently are dinner and watched TV while she practically forgot I was there while focusing emotions towards the pets. Damn near went to sleep without saying a word. I asked what's up with all that and she said "I'm just in my thoughts" (bit my tongue to stop from saying "no shit, Sherlock").
So, am I the asshole?
TLDR - wife of two years seems to be holding out for us to move to Germany when I retire in 15+ years and I finally give a push for her to invest some effort in enjoying life here which has resulted in silence and being ignored for the rest of the night. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
02auRe6Lf9W2FefisqnVuQalwL6zLFf1 | b7m8up | {
"description": "hating my mom for making me share a bed with her",
"pronormative_score": 347,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For hating my mom for making me share a bed with her | So my mom and I have been living in a 1 bdrm for some years. I turn 17 in a few months. My mom first couldn’t afford to get a second bed when we first moved but i was young (9) so it didn’t matter. Once I turned maybe 13-14 I started to speak up at how most kids my age at least sleeps in their own bed.
Let me clarify we are in no way, shape, or form broke. My mom earns a decent amount of money every week. Each time she has an excuse as to why she can’t get a bed for me. I know I might sound ungrateful but there’s many reasons why I NEED my own bed at least.
For one she snores, so there’s nights i’m up til 4 am tossing and turning. 2, she likes to cuddle me and I do not like that. I’ve told her maybe a 10-15 minutes is fine but not no 2-3 hours. She’ll get angry at me and call me selfish for not wanting to hug/cuddle her.
We’ve got a futon couch in the living room. But i can’t sleep there because she says it’ll ruin it... even though it’s made for sleeping. There’s been nights that I slept on the floor in order to get a good nights rest.
I don’t want to make it seem like I hate her with every bone in me because i don’t. I just hate her for making me share a bed with her for almost 10 years. She even brags about it to others like it’s something to be proud of. “Well MY daughter and I still sleep together” it’s quite embarrassing.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 341,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 347,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
TE7AUu8ckfBe1bZ3JdX6WZhXLqysEurb | b3m2z4 | {
"description": "wanting to call the police on my neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to call the police on my neighbor? | So I go to college in the South and I live in our university’s apartments. At the beginning of this semester this new girl, we’ll call her G, moved in above me during the early days of January and made SO much noise.The walls are incredibly thin, so if someone talks loud you can hear them, if they walk loud you can hear, etc. Once I realized what was going on I gave it a few days to die down on its own. My thought was, “well, she’s just moving in and is moving stuff to get settled. I probably did the same thing.” Unfortunately, things did not calm down…things got worse.
Turns out, G is not a very quiet person. When she walks, her heels dig into the floor. I can hear every conversation she has with her friends on the phone, her bf, etc. she has very loud sex and is quite vocal. Her music is turned up so loud my ceiling fan shakes. She got a pet (no animals allowed), and the poor thing sits there and cries for her whenever she goes out, regardless of if her bf is there or not. The bf also shouts at it..I feel bad for the poor thing being stuck there all day with the bf. The dude never leaves the apartment. The apartment complex has a strict policy about only the tenant living in the rooms and no one else, so technically he’s not allowed to be there. I wouldn’t care, except when he walks he also slams his heels into the ground, only louder.
Between the two of them, I wake up EVERY single night between 11-3:30. They’re so loud I can’t go back to sleep until they do, so I’m averaging 4-5 hours of sleep per day. Whenever I’m home, they’re home. The girl is a public relations major but I don’t know how she is still enrolled in classes because she never goes. She sits at home all day and rarely leaves, unless she’s going out to party at night. I can’t nap because the noise literally never stops. 2 weeks in to her living there, I went up to introduce myself. I explained that I lived below her, the walls are thin, etc. and to please keep it down. She just looked at me, said okay, and closed the door. This was 8 weeks ago. I’ve been to the manager’s office with evidence. They gave her a verbal warning, but I know they’re not going to do anything else because they don’t want to lose the money they make from the rent every month.
It’s midnight and she has her friends over and at the moment they’re singing/screaming what I think is Ed Sheeran.
I’ve run out of options, she won’t open the door when I knock on it. I want to call campus police and submit a noise complaint but at the same time I feel bad doing it....but I need to sleep. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BPEOYdUMgTY4uPEpe8xpMHJG99TLzYxT | b3wlme | {
"description": "not even trying to get out of my apathy",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not even trying to get out of my apathy | M(24)Don't like talking about this, so I guess this is the reason for a throwaway.
It's been more than 6 years since then, but this still bothers me a lot. We were a prefect family, me and my sister both top of our classes, I went to elite high school and was doing great, never in my life any problems etc. Then I got into gaming and became really good. So good in fact, that before I even turned 18 I managed to earn twice the minimum monthly wage of my country by playing, once I earned minimum wage in less than 3 days of playing. To maintain my form I had to play a lot and stay focused, which resulted into my high school performance becoming more average. I was still very social, but really spent most of my free time behind the computer. Needless to say this irritated my parents a lot. Combine that with father's distaste for computers(even today he still has no smartphone) and relations became tense. While I had to stay focused and calm, parents came to my room and insulted me, disturbed, sometimes even cut off power.. But as I was being paid for winning every such action actually resulted into me having to play more. Was even at school counselor who asked my family to give me a break, after all I was outspoken and underage kid with such income is rare.
But situation at home deteriorated. We fought, while I still loved my father it meant that his actions hurt me that much more. Now the moment that makes me wonder if I'm an asshole.. In one specifically heated argument later in the evening, which of course started while I was still playing power was cut off and I was told few defamatory things, combined with the knowledge I'd have to make up for this intrusion the next day, and the fact I was told that I should stare in the ceiling instead of this pointless sh-t this enraged me. I am super calm person, but that day I exploded. I demanded a break and an apology and threatened to stop doing all my school work, something parents were very proud of, felt like there's nothing else I could do. I swear that when I was ignored, I felt something shift in my brain and since then I am very apathetic. I finished high school without ever studying and skipping most of classes(was actually ill and had some surgery, which also made me quit "pro' gaming), but with exception of final country wide exam, most grades were bad. Sadly this attitude didn't help me with university so for a while now, so I'm just changing them every year, as I am not allowed to exams for my low attendance. Sometimes I regret it when exams are near, but never in time to actually do something about it. My parents actually supported me for the most of the time there.
And after all this time, I still blame my father for that. We don't talk much, but every few months when we argue about my performance I don't even say sorry for being a terrible son these last few years, I just demand an apology for his "ruthless" behavior. Still didn't get one.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
Kn9iva04RFB9Hf1LvtahZgYAZ04kNBU9 | an95ab | {
"description": "agreeing that my gf asking for a selfie is being unreasonable when she refuses to take a photo herself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for agreeing that my gf asking for a selfie is being unreasonable when she refuses to take a photo herself? | My girlfriend is going through some fairly erratic emotions in the last few weeks and so sometimes she is really happy and good to chat to and then, almost like a switch has been flicked, she changes to being upset or annoyed.
Earlier my girlfriend asked me in a very confident manner If she could have a selfie from me, I would be happy to oblige but I decided If I'm sending one I'd also like one myself. Therefore I simply asked if I could get one and received the answer 'nope' which to me sounded pretty certain of her decision, I then tried to persist ever so slightly (message: 😇 Plz) but I get a small list of why I can't get a selfie from her which are about her insecurities and her being exhausted from earlier in the day. She said it may be unfair \[on me\] if she asks for a photo when she didn't intend on sending one herself.
Very rarely will I not send a photo, admittedly sometimes I might ask for a pic as well and a considerable amount of the time I don't even need to ask and she sends a beautiful picture!
I then tried to move the conversation away as to not make it awkward but receive a text swiftly saying goodnight. I doubt there is going to be any issue and I do realize this is a incredibly petty post but I'm still curious, AITA for agreeing that it's unfair for her to ask and not oblige to do the same given her insecurities? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
y1ZpORh6fcAjMoe4HBPK8ky4bR0tZByv | amijtv | {
"description": "asking my boyfriend to tell his friends to not smoke out around me, or for him to give up the friends that keep disregarding my severe allergy",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my boyfriend to tell his friends to not smoke out around me, or for him to give up the friends that keep disregarding my severe allergy | So, I should probably put the title into context here...
My boyfriend of 3 years is well aware that I'm highly allergic to weed. As in, can't stop coughing up a lung with body wracking coughs long enough to catch a breath, both types of asthma constriction kick in, and mucus glands kick into high gear, filling my lungs with fluid. It's an understatement to say that this is not fun, and something I desperately try to avoid.
Boyfriend's closest friends tend to like the ganja when we have a gathering, and also know I'm highly allergic. They have watched me go through this more than once, watched my lips turn blue and debated on if an ambulance needed to be called (I always resist an ambulance call because there's literally nothing they can do besides give me pure O2 and rush me to an ER, where again, not much can be done that I'm already trying to do on my own with inhalers, caffeine, make-shift humidifiers, and an EpiPen in case shit gets that sideways), and yet they still smoke up in the same building as me, and just hope it doesn't carry to where I'm at. They regularly don't even take the effort to open a window or go outside.
Boyfriend also likes the ganja on occasion, and usually tries to partake in ways that the smoke won't find it's way to me, though he has in the past partaken inside our apartment in his bathroom either when I was asleep, or at work, and felt this was not an issue because it was contained to his bathroom (which has the A/C control over his tub) and should dissapate before I'd come in contact with it.
Recently we all met up for a celebration for my boyfriend, and again they broke out the green, went to a back room, and hot boxed it. I started to notice a small amount of the smell, and asked the host if we could do anything to keep the smoke to the back room, so the front door was opened. Then the partakers came back into the living room, with a cloud of smoke billowing with them, and immediately setting off my allergy. I barely saw the look of horror on my boyfriend's face as I dashed out the front door to collapse in a coughing/wheezing heap out front.
Only my boyfriend came out to check on me. Everyone else continued laughing and partying inside while I sat outside fighting to breathe. When I finally could stop coughing and the wheezing minimized enough that I could catch a semi decent breath, I went back inside and collapsed on the couch from adrenaline rush and inhaled steroid shakes. No one said a damn thing to me or even asked if I was ok. The party just kept going.
On the way home, I asked my boyfriend to relay to his friends that it's not ok to smoke inside anymore if I'm going to be there, and preferably only partake through edibles or something else that is much less likely to set off my allergy, and he looked horrified that I'd ask that. I really want to ask him to stop hanging out with them because obviously they neither care about me or respect the fact that my desire to keep breathing trumps their desire to enhance their party night. FYI, we are not in a green legal state.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
2DLJQbgAbKJDX309NSe3WELamHJ0ETx9 | aeftd9 | {
"description": "not wanting to be friends with someone anymore over a concert ticket",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not wanting to be friends with someone anymore over a concert ticket | This happened awhile ago and my friends think I'm petty for disowning him, but awhile back me and 3 friends were going to a concert to see an artist that we like. We all buy tickets at the same time and the concert is in 5 months. Fast forward 4 and a half months later , one of my friends (michael) gets a girlfriend (sally). Coincidentally sally also likes this artist that we're going to see and had already bought a balcony ticket, but the four of us had bought floor tickets. Michael and sally quickly became the insufferable kind of couple that sits on the same side of the table at restaurants and wear matching sweaters, so naturally they really wanted to watch the show together. Turns out that William (another friend in our group) says that he found a new job and had to go on a business trip on the date of the concert so he couldn't make it and offers to give away his ticket to sally, and sally was gonna give the ticket away on twitter. The day of the concert I ask william if he remembered to let sally have his ticket and he said that he did. We all have a good time at the show but a few days later I was third wheeling michael and sally and he offhandedly mentions that he bought sally's ticket from William. Both Sally and Michael don't think its a big deal but it makes me upsets me because william made it seems like he gave it to them, but instead he sold it them after he had told me AND michael that he would just give it to sally. I'm not upset that he sold the ticket, I'm upset that he SAID to me and michael that he would just give it to sally, and then later on changed his mind AND lied to me about giving away the ticket after he had sold it to Michael. I brought it up to William once but he blew me off and told me I was overreacting, and I haven't talked to him since. Am I being an overreacting asshole!?
TLDR: Friend **W** said he would give Friend **M**'s gf a free concert ticket since she had the wrong one. When i asked said friend **W** if he gave it away he said he did but I later found out that he (**W)** sold it to **M!** When I confronted **W** about it he blew me off and told me I was being ridiculous. AITA for no longer wanting to be friends with this guy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
tOHRMexONqdQ50CFiAbVy4ITeyrHgBx2 | apj08w | {
"description": "not supporting my sister's efforts to emigrate to Canada from <third world african country",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not supporting my sister's efforts to emigrate to Canada from <third world african country> | Background: My sis is married with two kids - four and six years old. She's 33, eleven years older than me, and is the first of four kids while I'm the last. I recently moved to the US from the same TWAC (third-world african country) for work, and I'm earning earning relatively well, and am able to support family back home now.
&#x200B;
She's not in a good position financially, as things are worse than they used to be in Nigeria. She graduated ages ago, but her degree is pretty much of no use, so she's been running a business which right now, is producing nothing. Her husband is also self-employed, but times aren't so good either.
&#x200B;
Over a year ago, she got this idea to attempt to emigrate to Canada for a better life, and started trying to go through the permanent residency process. She has no roots in the country, and no plans on how to survive, however. She's the optimistic type. Due to her lack of credentials and age and whatever, she pretty much didn't have enough "points" (there's some sort of points system, I think) and would need to do a bunch of stuff to get more points (take exams, learn a language, etc). I've been happy to help out financially when it comes to whatever expenses were involved in doing all that stuff.
&#x200B;
However, she's become more and more desperate, pretty much abandoning any effort to improve her immediate environment. She even considered getting to Canada illegally, and when we dissuaded her from that plan, got involved in a shady scheme to obtain masters degree certification. It even caused friction between her and her husband (who was being dragged along in the process) - he felt like she was so focused on the emigration thing and didn't mind abandoning him (she literally said that, albeit tongue-in-cheek), and made him feel unimportant.
&#x200B;
Here's my standpoint on why I don't support her efforts:
* The kids: This is one of the most important periods of their lives - their formative years - and I don't think it's responsible to gamble with the stability they need in their lives right now.
* The odds of even getting the visa are low.
* What if she gets trafficked? Trafficking is a real problem here.
* She has no roots in the country. No skills. No plans. What's the plan to survive? There's so much she hasn't educated herself about and is so focused on "we'll work hard and survive, let's get there first".
I keep asking her what her motivation is, and all she has to offer is that "Things are bad here and I don't want to raise my kids here".
&#x200B;
So recently, she sought my financial help to take french classes for six months (also with some shady guy), so I had a serious conversation with her and made it clear that I don't support what she's doing and I feel that crazy amount of dedication would actually get her somewhere if she sunk those efforts into thriving back home. I still offered the funds for the french school, but tried to make it clear to her that I'm not behind what she's doing.
&#x200B;
It didn't quite end on a good note, with her in tears and quite defensive of her efforts, and she even sent the money back and said she'll do it on her own. I'm worried I didn't handle it well... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LZgoelc6YtLxGkdAfMYiWD9r6VIcfFFT | ahir69 | {
"description": "telling a joke about tearing an acl",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a joke about tearing an ACL? | I really can’t tell if I was being too insensitive or not.
A few friends and I were invited to play some touch football at the beach one day with some random people we met who were throwing around a football. After a while we were getting out of breath from all the activity and one of the guys made a joke saying something like “I’m going to end up tearing my other ACL.”
He talked a bit about it a bit later on telling us how he tore his ACL in high school and how it sucked.
After a while of playing, we all getting very tired and almost falling over. I ended up tripping myself out of fatigue when running for the ball and said something along the lines of “I better watch out or I’ll end up tearing my ACL.”
After saying that, the guy who tore his ACL started to criticize me about how tearing an ACL is a serious thing and shouldn’t be joked about.
I understand tearing an ACL is serious but this guy seemed perfectly fine playing the game and I thought it wasn’t too serious of a thing for him since he was making a joke about it earlier. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PWLyFFpHV9knVH1ltvXy8HbaHCbh9wHY | at8zuh | {
"description": "banning my \"future BIL\" from my house",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for banning my “future BIL” from my house? | This issue has divided my family and has just become urgent as I heard the guy is ring shopping.
My sister started dating this guy she met at a strip club. In my mind, he was just some new dude until my mom commented on how serious they seemed and her concern with how he makes money.
Met him at my mom’s and... weird impression right away. Doesn’t make eye contact, drops your hand during handshake, grumbles instead of conversing. Gives off an arrogant thug vibe.
Mom and sis both ask what I thought and I said he made it hard to know but I didn’t like the first impression. My husband had stronger opinions.
I’m pregnant at the time and they also move in together. So my sister starts becoming very insistent that we get to know him and asks to bring him over so the guys can “bond” over football. I refused over and over, knowing my husband, but once my child was born I felt obligated to say yes since he was supposedly excited to see the baby. Instead, he sits on the edge of the couch, eating the food they brought, not talking to us. He even left trash on the floor.
We were both so disgusted but the holidays were coming up and so we decided to be “extra nice” to him at the family gathering as an experiment. This time, my cousins noticed his weird behavior and decided he wasn’t welcome at their upcoming family party. My mom talks me through the conversation she’s going to have with him, but it never happens.
I planned to talk to her next time we’re alone. She doesn’t drive and would take Ubers everywhere until this guy started driving her. So she’d be out “running errands” with him until 11pm and then ask to come see the baby and throw a fit when I refused, saying “he’ll only come in for a minute.”
It all blew up when I asked her to take an Uber and come spend time us. My best friend was over and we could have girls night. She waited until she was walking up to my door to text me that she brought her boyfriend, saying they won’t stay long. I told her no, forget it, I wanted to see my sister alone. Stay and I’ll take you home.
She then told me if I couldn’t accept who she was spending her life with, that I had no place in it.
My mother didn’t talk to me for three days, then told me it was my responsibility to fix my relationship with my sister. That they’re going to get married and have kids and it’ll be my fault if my kid grows up without an aunt. That my sister and I didn’t have a great relationship growing up and now I’ve ruined our progress. That the guy didn’t do anything bad enough to warrant being banned from my house, and I hurt his feelings. That he treats her so amazing and she’s finally happy, and now I’ve ruined that too. That she is so excited to finally be an aunt. She really made me feel like shit. Meanwhile, their pictures on social media make it seem like they’re having a great time.
After months of radio silence, I’m feeling like I might be the asshole.
Am I?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 7
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
9QhBTUacM3SwpkmcHmKfVjTFG0wfHuD7 | b0o90p | {
"description": "questioning my wife",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for questioning my wife? | She spends a LOT of time outside work with her male co-workers. A lot of these times is with 1 coworker in particular.
In addition to just going out after work together, some of these times she comes home at 3AM (9 hours after the end of their shift) and tells me she "fell asleep watching TV".
Other times, he will call, text, or snapchat her at midnight, and she'll go over there and drink.
Just recently she sends him this image followed by a kiss emoji.
I asked her if she thought that was appropriate. She said there was nothing wrong with it, it was just a joke. Until I ask other people if they would object to their spouse doing the same. Then she gets mad at me for thinking it is unacceptable.
Am I the asshole for finding this entire situation a little fishy? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Vyird2yCDAPEGPl4ACc610zbuFUWApQy | apmmal | {
"description": "telling my brothers girlfriend to mind her own business",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for telling my brothers girlfriend to mind her own business | Little bit of background, my dad left my mom about a year ago because he cheated and we have all since given him an earful about it. He feels terrible but in the long run him leaving was the best choice for everyone.
My brothers girlfriend is not well liked by the family for various reasons. I found out she messaged my dad on Facebook last month solely to tell him she hates him. I feel as though this is completely uncalled for, as it has been a year and that message did nothing but drive my dad away from my brother even more. Their relationship has been strained, but my dad has been working to maintain some contact. He did something despicable but she was making him feel bad for no reason other than she wanted to hurt him. I feel like I should talk to her and tell her to stay out of it, and leave him alone because it’s not her place to make him feel bad, but I don’t want to ruin my real with my brother.
TL;DR: my brothers girlfriend chewed my dad out for leaving my mom a long time after it happened and I want to tell her to mind her business. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NQQ6pQheQQVP49fwhdplHAnHEMj1DSPk | ady8ft | {
"description": "asking my so to stop talking to her abusive ex-partner",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my SO to stop talking to her abusive ex-partner? | I started dating this girl a couple months ago. Things are going well, but she definitely has some major baggage from her past relationships. Her ex-partner and her talk sometimes, but she acknowledges that they are bad for her, and very abusive towards her. She's a good person, and cares about the person because they are suicidal, etc.
Can I theoretically ask her to cut this person off? I would never ask her to cut off a friend, but I feel like talking to your abusive ex-partner crosses a line. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pQ6Lid9i2Az4pvTEdP9BlO1LOsfgLlzN | acoziw | {
"description": "refusing to pick up my gf from work at 6am on Saturday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA if I refuse to pick up my gf from work at 6am on Saturday? | Our 1 year old relationship has a lot more going on that I won’t post here, but the gist of it is: my gf comes from a less financially capable family than mine, so she has to work and study. She can also be very childish, probably my fault as the result of coming to see her everyday and buying her almost everything she asks me to buy, from food to make up and so on. Recently, she has the idea to go to Spain on an academic exchange for which she needs to pay for the plane ticket.
She recently got into a job that pay really well, like she earns about 5 times as much as I do (which is not much, but still) and that is good enough to pay for her plane ticket and more. It is also very far away from her house. Furthermore, this and the next week she’s doing the night shift, so her shift begins at 10pm and ends at 6am.
Like in past jobs, she’s asking me to drive her they there, which I agree to do because it’s late and I don’t want her to go by herself on the bus. Also, her pay is so good that she has agreed to pay me back some of the gas. However, since at work in the morning, I can’t pick her up on weekdays.
These last two nights, I’ve had trouble sleeping, and I have chess club on Saturdays at 9am, so I would like to have some sleep tonight. However, a few minutes ago she asked me to pick her up tomorrow at 6am because I don’t work on Saturday and can do it. I resisted, didn’t even get to say no outright or give my reasons, and she got furious. She wouldn’t talk to me at first, then she stormed off the room, and now is back and putting her make up on, saying that I should go and that she doesn’t want me to take her tonight.
I think it’s perfectly reasonable for me to refuse to pick her up so early on a Saturday, especially since I’m low on money, low on gas, she gets paid in 10 days (which means another full week of taking her to work at night), and it will probably make me lose chessclub. She told me she was willing to sleep in the car if I picked her up and then drove to the club, but for her safety I said that it wouldn’t work. She’s acting like it’s my obligation to take her to work. I feel like a lot of times she doesn’t even consider what I want or need. This is just one of many times she’s done something like this.
I’m trying to talk to her but she still won’t talk to me back. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
3sMTWTwkKhw1gptm2NprXSJUFBvfCDIP | a31ixo | {
"description": "backhand thumping my wife in the Vagina when we were play fighting",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for backhand thumping my wife in the Vagina when we were play fighting? | Earlier I went up to her an playfully tapped her head like a drum. She got up and elbowed me in the back. Then we did the "stay out of each other's reach" dance until I accidentally backhanded her...pretty hard with good contact in the vagina. The reason I think I'm not the asshole is because she got me decently in the balls about 5 seconds later. I will admit hearing the "thump" I made, required instant apology. However during said apology was when she got me in the balls. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
7VXjHYlv83rJpTjBLAdOXqKLQRhikNrh | b1iatf | {
"description": "not letting my girlfriend move in",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not letting my girlfriend move in? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I'm 26 and work full-time from home, and she is finishing her final semester of university. We live less than a mile away at the moment, and we go to each others places typically 5 or 6 nights per week. I really need the 1-2 nights per week to myself to recharge, but usually whenever I suggest we spend a night apart I'll get a text from her at 7pm saying the neighbors are being loud or something. I usually give in.
Recently we've been getting into arguments about living together. I feel like it is too soon in the relationship. The fact that she pushes me to spend every night together makes me feel like she won't respect the fact that I need some alone time when we live together. This would also impact my career: because I work from home, it's important that I'm alone during the day, but I just don't see how this would work logistically, because she works nights. I'm looking into getting an office, but I don't have that worked out yet.
I told her that I thought it was too soon to move in together and she got upset. She said I'm not supporting her, and that she would do the same for me. She doesn't make good money right now because she is a student, so she can't afford a great place on her own. I live in a rather luxury studio that costs around $1400 / month total. I explained that she would be expected to pay half of the rent (700) if she moved in, which she was fine with. But when I asked her if she would consider getting her own apartment for 6 months, she refused saying that she could not get anything close to 700/mo. Currently she is paying 600, so this is pure BS. She wants to move out of her current place because she apparently has allergies to mold in the building (yet refuses to take allergy pills). She's been pinning this whole thing on me like I'm not supporting her, which is not true — I'm willing to help her move, find a new place, roommates, etc., but she doesn't see it that way. And on the topic of roommates: she absolutely refuses to have them. She doesn't have friends that need roommates, but she won't consider finding a student or young professional to live with. I think this is absurd, and seems very privileged to me. **The icing on the cake was when she suggested she could move in with her ex as a last resort.** They are still friends, which I am fine with, but they don't ever meet up in person. The fact that she even threw this out there as a realistic option blew my mind. She acted offended when I told her I felt she was manipulating me. IMO if she did even talk to her ex about this, it would be the end of our relationship. I don't know in what world she would consider this over living with random roommates. It's like she's giving me an ultimatum, either move in together, or our relationship is done.
&#x200B;
AITA for being skeptical about her pressuring me, and for telling her that it's too soon to move in together? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
pS5xJsO8uIGLtj4hNf7dC3O9BCpFOAVK | aw0qfv | {
"description": "telling my husband to stop caring obsessively for our deaf daughter",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my husband to stop caring obsessively for our deaf daughter. | Our daughter is 16. It really broke our hearts when we learned that our daughter was deaf. But as her parents, we did everything to raise her like a normal child.
On the other hand, my husband this is that he needs to do everything for her. He has a very stressful job and feels obligated to spend every second of his free time with our daughter.
If she has to go to her dance classes he asks me to accompany her. And he's basically convinced that he has to protect her from everything. He thinks her boyfriend is taking advantage of her and is just around for some sex. Why doesn't he let her discovere for herself.
I confronted him about this and he actually told me that he thinks she's growing up way too fast and he can't cope up with it. I straight up told him to stop obsessing and he got all emotional and started crying. Was I wrong. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
vUd9wAFSAr5jIcinoMUiUshEREZA6rOc | b020b3 | {
"description": "telling my ex to grow up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my ex to grow up? | I recently left my first relationship with a trans male. We're both in high school and we have a class together. I broke up with him cause I don't like guys saw that he frequently whined about going nowhere in life and hating himself over it, but doing nothing about it. I try to make him feel better and tell him he needs to own up to his responsibility in a nice way, he does that for a few days, repeat
Today in class I was working and I let him use my pencil so he can work, only taking back when I needed to draw out some lines. He gave my pencil back when he was done and then kept trying to take it from me despite saying no. He tried grabbing and I shooed him off
M: You need to know when to stop and to grow up
H: ?
M: When I asked you to stop grabbing for my pencil. You didn't know when to stop and you were being a child about it
H: I'm sorry, I was just joking around. I thought we were goofing off and having fun. Once I knew that you were serious, I stopped. I kept on goofing off, but I stopped grabbing for your pencil
M: Well you gotta learn when people are serious. You took too long
H: At least I stopped, would you rather I had kept going
M: No, I'm glad you stopped. But you still need to learn when people are serious
H: Maybe I was just trying to have fun with you? Like I haven't been able to for weeks now. Do you have any idea how many times I've fallen apart because if I hadn't told you how I felt you would still love me? You would still do stuff with me? You say we're still friends but it doesn't feel like it and I'm trying my best but it's not working and it never will. I'm sorry that I'm a royal fuck up and all I do is ruin everything I'm a apart of. I don't care if I'm wrong at this point. I don't care if blowing up is wrong, but I have wanted to do this for so long that I don't care. I've been tearing myself apart cause everyone I've ever loved is leaving and I'm stuck in the hole I dug. I don't care anymore. I hate myself more than I ever have in the past year. This is probably going to ruin everything between us, but let's face it. We never had a chance. I was eventually going to fuck up one way or another. I'm so fucking sorry that I'm the biggest fuck up on earth and that I fucked up everything we had
M: You're not a fuck up. You just need to mature a bit. You may have dug a hole, but whining won't help. I'm sorry I didn't realize that me not doing much hurts you. Don't torture yourself over your decision. I'm not into guys. "I'm alone and a fuck up," I've been there. But I realized I wasn't living up to my potential, and I was dissapointed. That game you wanna play, it can wait. Your grades, your life, they won't. I don't wanna date a kid. Choir, chem, and Alg 2 were some of the best classes I took cause I learned something. Choir: it doesn't matter your situation. If you have a responsibility, own up to it. Chem: nobody knows what they're doing. Alg 2: keep at it
I feel I was too harsh. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UdGfUo17StXt0r5Yy7DGjLRilzOSDD8B | b7n9bq | {
"description": "consulting my friend about her immature behavior",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for consulting my friend about her immature behavior? | So a friend of mine (18) who absolutely loves k-pop idols, asked me to tell me which idol i ship her the least with (which i did with the reason 'he kinda ugly'). This resulted in her consulting me about how mean i am to this 'poor teddy' and he gets all the hate and she didn't ask me to insult anyone and reacted immature in general (caps locking, irritated emojis, quoting songs etc).
She proceeded to not react to any messages in our group chat with another friend (where this happened) for about a day or two. This has happened before after i explained good things that happened in my life (i had a really rough time) and she took it as an insult because she 'didn't have good friends at school' for example. I was just proud of the things i accomplished and wrote them after she made some 'do you have a life' joke as far as i remember. This resulted in a fight. After which she ignored us.
She is prone to playing the victim card too, and writes things like 'I'm used to being ignored' after we don't react to her k-pop ramblings.
So i was done with her bullshit, and texted her that i won't be doing this anymore if she didn't stop her immature behavior.
To summarize everything: she was busy with school, but she posted alot on her story and Twitter. I told her that she argued childishly and she told me that was mean because she's a child. Told her she has to take the not so fun adult side and argue maturely if she goes out to concerts and drinks alcohol. She's an adult by now.
I got back at her being offended at me calling an idol ugly and then ignoring us. She said that's how every fan would react and i told her it's not an excuse being a sensitive kpop fan to fight a friend over some stupid statement like this.
She told me i was mean, mean, MEAN for saying this and guilt trip her and that was a totally asshole way to 'win an argument' and i didn't care about her feelings while she did about mine and then she told me to leave her alone and didn't text me back. AITA?
TLDR: Friend got offended at stupid sentence.
I consulted her in private chat about her generally immature behavior. I'm the mean asshole now. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
K00NoROh6KpSV9kHRrfRVlU4iWmJ654g | asegp5 | {
"description": "wanting my best friends not to divorce",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for wanting my best friends not to divorce? | My best friends are a married couple that have been married for a 5-6 years. My wife and I are very close with both of them. My wife works with them (how they met) and they've carpooled together for a while now. The wife has a son that is my sons age and they are also very close. They had an incident happen last week and it's not looking good for their relationship. I honestly love both of them and their kid. I keep suggesting they work on it but they seem aggravated when I bring it up if they respond at all. I just want my best friends to stay together. It's dawning on me that may not be whats best for the though. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
x6MVSzG30SRq7UwrIFSZ2G1j9mR4CuLz | aoitco | {
"description": "telling my dad to get over his feud with his in-laws",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my dad to get over his feud with his in-laws? | My dad is usually a very sociable person who is friends with what seems like literally everyone, but he refuses to be in the same room as any members of my mom’s family (her sister, brother, and their parents). I have always been a bit bothered by this because I haven’t seen any of them do anything that could warrant such a reaction. I have been asking my dad to tell me what exactly happened and he finally did.
For context, both of my parents immigrated here from India before I was born. My dad told me that he had one investment property in India that he bought before he got married. About 8 years ago, he and my mom were having a financial crisis and my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. They were having trouble paying for everything, including maintaining the property. Finally, after trying everything to get back on their feet, they decided to ask my mom’s parents for some help. This was difficult for my dad to do because he had grown up believing that a man that relied on his in-laws was a failure. However, he had no other choice at this point so he asked for some money and he told them to keep the money from the property in India until their loan was subsidized.
About one and a half years passed, and the money was subsidized, so my dad asked for the property back. My grandparents ignored him. Since he had some bigger fish to fry at the moment, he left it at that. A few more years passed and they still ignored his requests for the property back. My dad tried very hard to speak with them but they flat out ignored him. My mom did not want to get involved. Finally, after trying everything, my dad went to my mom’s sister and asked if she would reason with her parents. She asked them and they gave the property back to her to give to my dad and it was all settled.
However, after that, my aunt refused to speak to my dad. She would completely ignore him in public and he felt humiliated. When he asked my mom, she told him that it was because he had said some rude things about her parents. He tried really hard to patch things up with my aunt, but she refused for six months. After that, she tried again to talk to him, but this time he refused. He said that after ignoring all of his efforts to patch things up, she only talked to him when she wanted to. He finally decided to just cut off all contact with my mom’s whole side of the family.
Throughout all of this, my mom had been battling breast cancer (don’t worry, she’s cancer free now) and my dad had been in a lot of pain seeing her like that and not having anyone to confide in. His whole family was still in India and he did not have any close friends here. On top of that, these issues caused a lot of bad arguments where my mom considered going back to live with her parents. In the end, she chose to stay with my dad.
Now, my dad still refuses any contact with my mom’s parents or siblings. When we visit India, my mom will visit her parents while my dad stays with his. This part I am ok with and I understand. However, my mom’s sister lives in the same area as us and we see her a lot more often. My dad cannot even be in the same room as her. This bothers me a little bit more because I believe that this level of a grudge is a bit unwarranted for the situation. I once helped some friends throw a surprise anniversary party for my parents by providing a guest list, and without thinking I invited my mom’s sister because she and my mom are still close. After the party, my dad confided in me that he was not able to enjoy even a second of the party because she was there. Not interacting with him, just there.
The biggest problem in this for me is with my mom’s brother, who lives in the UK. She and my mom are very close, but she hasn’t seen him in years. It’s been even longer since we’ve seen his family. He has two kids, and I have only met the older one because the younger one was not born yet. The main reason we can’t go see them is because my dad refuses to come. He claims he is not preventing my mom from going without him, but knowing her, it would be hard for her to go without him. She has never gone on a solo vacation before. This is what makes me upset and this is why I told my dad that he should suck it up. I said that he doesn’t have to interact with my aunt, but he should be able to be in the same room as her. And I told him that he is holding my mom back from seeing her brother because of this relatively small and long-ago issue. AITA?
Tl;dr: My dad had a property that he temporarily gave to my mom’s parents and they refused to give back. He asked my aunt for help and she helped, but then gave him the silent treatment because of how he spoke about her parents. He has ever since refused to be in the same room as her or any other member of my mom’s immediate family, which is preventing my mom from seeing her brother, who lives in another country. I told him to suck it up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
wBFjQ95AkrugiKIgeVyhk2GcFptaQdOl | ab0iby | {
"description": "turning down someone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA, for turning down someone | I was at a Christmas night out with a local theatre group and for a amount of time I was aware of a particular member of the group having feelings towards myself but at the time I just thought it was just playful actor banter.
That is until later that night when we were traveling to different venues and more people leaving for the night until it was just myself and her. We carried on drinking and talking the conversation was about the people in the group. She said "oh theirs a secret within the group" so I started pursuing this secret because I'm the "Human resources" side of the group due to my background.
So plenty of "what's the secret?" from myself the truth spills out she had really strong feelings for me. This really caught me off guard and pretty much went into fight or flight mode now don't get me wrong she's great to be around bit on the quite side but when she's speaks she makes a point.
So in response I basically said that "I'm not emotional ready for a relationship" which I'm not bullshitting I'm currently see a therapist for my wellbeing (Christmas till end of January is a rough time due to losing a family member) and I'm a firm believer if you don't like yourself how the hell are you be in a relationship.
However as soon as I said it I could see her heart break in front of me.
So I'm an arse or not | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uMdi3NCWY8Ks6H3QIkFB6zS27SFNaKTw | arh1f4 | {
"description": "getting angry when the group chat I was in and its leader became toxic",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting angry when the group chat I was in and its leader became toxic? | So to preface this, this is my first AITA and I’m on mobile right now, so sorry for formatting.
So this first started around a year ago when I joined a group chat all my friends just made (We were 13 and it was an iPhone group chat).
Everything was nice and we chatted from time to time and were generally positive. But around 6 months into the group chat’s existence things started to get, just a teensy bit, haywire.
It first started when the Admin(or leader/ creator) of the chat threatened to kick me, for spamming. *now* you’re probably thinking, *that seems like a good reason to kick someone*. And it is a good reason to kick someone, the only problem was that other people had been spamming images and texts but he (admin) hadn’t threatened to kick them. This made me a tiny bit mad.
These occurrences happens relatively frequently. I would get into and argument sometimes and would say some things, but I never was outwardly mean or hurtful to anybody. I also would NEVER cuss someone out or try to hurt their feelings. Now keep in mind that this group chat had around 9 people in it, so if the whole group except you was talking and
you were lying in bed or with your parents it could get a bit annoying. This had happened several times and was a little inconvenient but I never got mad about it.
HOWEVER, if the leader of the chat who we shall henceforth call M, was caught in a situation as described above. The first thing he would type in the group chat was saying bad things about me and threatening to kick me. This started to get on my nerves after the first few times so I started to get mad.
While this was all happening M had started to not be as nice as he normally was at school. M treated everyone else fine but always acted a little, apprehensive, I would say, towards me.
So all of this eventually led up to today, where I had a big argument with M and possibly ruined other close friendships.
Right now I posted on the chat that I was selling some things to get some money. One person ( called W) said that he didn’t want to buy it. However, M said that he had one of the things I was selling and thought that it was complete doodoo (as he put it). His exact words were “I had one there are complete dodo”. After that, a person in my group who we will call BY, posted a picture of a gun he drew. BY liked to draw and thought that he was an amazing artist, kinda like the one in r/delusionalartists but he was not as bad as some of the ones on there. I told him that his artwork was okay but not great. He got angry at what I said and got angry at me. BY then said that he spent hours on it and then W asked him why he spent so many hours on it. A person who we will call BO then used what W said and made it into an insult against him. BO said “why do you spend so much time on fortnite even though you are trash”. Now, I don’t play fortnite, but it is quite popular in my friend group and being called “trash” at it was my groups idea of insult. So now we had BY angry at the chat for not complimenting his artwork and W and BO angry at each other over fortnite.
After a few more times back and forth M finally steps in and says (and these are his exact words) “y’all shut the f&ck up”. Before this I explained to BY that we (the chat) did not think his artwork was bad but not as good as he thought. Anyway, M then tells me (specifically) to shut up. Then W, M, BY, and BO argue about the art, fortnite, and people acting salty. I then offer BY the chance for me to give constructive criticism on his artwork which he never answers. BY then says that a certain text will answer my question. I then type that the text didn’t answer the question. Now please stay with me, this probably seems like some pointless 13 year old drama (which it mostly is) but it goes to show how the whole group just fell apart.
Now this is when it starts to pick up speed. M tells me to shut up or he will kick me from the chat (he threatened it before, but this time he was serious) He said NOTHING to the other people furiously arguing about stupid fortnite.
I then say (and again, these are my exact words) “why are you getting mad at me when everyone else is trying to be mean and getting salty”.
he then kicks me
You probably think that this is the end and I just explode, or something. But nope. You see... I had just gotten a phone (pretty late I know) and joined the chat, but I had also gotten my old iPad connected to the chat. So when M kicked my phone from the chat, he forgot to kick my iPad from it. So I added my phone to the chat through my iPad. And everyone was was like *woaahh* *how did you get back* but this isn’t important. M then says “ I removed your iPad from the chat, ha” but I could still type. He then says that he will give me another chance. But right after that, he private messages me.
From the point in I am getting very tired so I am just going to do a text version of the chat with no pictures. If you want pics you will probably have to wait until tomorrow.
M:Shut up (in replay to me speaking [but not spamming] in the group chat.
Me:maybe
M maybe what bitch
Me:maybe I’ll call you out on your treatment of other people in the group chat. ESPECIALLY ME
M:I don’t care
Me:you don’t care about the environment of hate that you created and allowed to fester and make a toxic chat
M:👎
M: Still don’t care
(30 seconds pass)
Me: Looks like he’s out of responses
M:Who
M:Me too
M:me
M:well go cry to your mom then
Me:Fine, ignore the monster that is slowly going to creep out of your phone and slowly invade your social life in reality
M:Man shut up with that gay shit
Me: that’s not gay
M:still shut up
(30 seconds pass)
M:who couldn’t think of a response now
Me: What issues do you want to bring up that we can have a reasoned discussion about.
M:shut up
(Short time passes)
M:do something then
Me:you just told me that you were looking for an argument
M:no
Me: so you don’t want an argument then
M:you just need to shut the fuck up
Me: you just need to learn that your actions have consequences
M:ha get trolled
M:I have been trolling you this whole time
M: but please don’t correct folks
M:or
M:don’t be annoying
Me:who was I correcting
M:annoying
M:about grammar
M:don’t be annoying
M:and stop crying
(End of conversation)
Woot that’s the end. I am sooooooo tired. If you have any advice or tell me am I the asshole. I will hope filully respond in the morning am I the asshole for what I said to M
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YDW3SBehNl8u7FLn9VMH4KiTzTk6LheE | af15oq | {
"description": "being upset with my parents for getting a new dog",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being upset with my parents for getting a new dog? | My family used to have a shitzu and it was the most miserable thing ever, bit and growled, etc.
Since said dog passed away, I was given a cat for my birthday and graduation. He is four years old, used to having the reign of the house, and doesn’t do well with other animals from what I have seen. He also hides from my nephew whenever he is over and refrains from eating or going to the litterbox when the nephew is over. But obviously this is only temporary.
Now that we are suddenly getting a dog, and a bigger dog at that, I am worried about how my cat will do with a new animal. I am nervous that he will have to hide 24/7 and will not be able to be as comfortable as he has been in his life thus far. I feel as though this is unfair to our current animal and that my parents are too optimistic that everything is going to work out, ignoring the possibility that the cat could get hurt or risking having to separate the two of them indefinitely if anything goes wrong. Sure, they could end up buddies, but I’m still terrified that something might happen and that my parents sprung a new animal on the cat without even thinking of the possibility.
So, am I the asshole for being upset in this situation and wanting to protect my fur baby? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
sG0aElJHRExqHaufCwkrTxiq56NoOfT0 | b3irpn | {
"description": "not wanting my future in-laws to gps track my fiancée and I",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my future in-laws to gps track my fiancée and I? | Throwaway because I don’t want to stir up more drama. My fiancée has, let’s say, an interesting mother... constantly breathing down her neck, highly critical of every decision she makes from career, hobbies, college major, choice in men (ahem, me), etc. I’m talking crazy manipulative. She used find my friends to track my fiancée all through high school and the first half of college, and would remark pretty frequently that she “didn’t approve” of her doing things like staying out past 10PM at so and so’s house. Or “what are you doing at Starbucks still?”
Fast forward to junior year at uni. We’re engaged, pretty tumultuous process because the timing did NOT fit her parents expectations for her life. (This is where I have messed up. Craziness aside, it’s a mistake to make enemies with your S/O’s parents). I found out that she was being tracked when she rolled her eyes at a text saying “what are you still doing at stalker-in-laws’ house? I couldn’t believe it. From the other side of the country, she was watching like a hawk. So I told her to stop sharing location. We argued a bit, and then I got her to come around. I feel like it’s a pretty huge invasion of privacy, even if snap maps and other stuff has become the norm. This was just weird. The fallout was a huge argument with her parents and in the end, they backed down.
Then cut to today. I find out her dad still has her location. He casually mentioned that he saw we were at a restaurant he liked. She brushed it off and said she figured I just didn’t want her mom tracking us. I’m currently holding my tongue. This is insane to me. Am I crazy? This woman has unprecedented access to her husband’s phone. She’s probably just kept quiet about it. I feel frustrated and a little mislead. What do you guys think? Is it too much to ask for some privacy? I have nothing to hide, but I also don’t want to live with the knowledge that every move we make together is out in the open for her mom to watch.
TL;DR fiancée’s mom tracked her with find my friends. I told her to stop sharing location with her parents. She mislead me and only switched it off for her mom.
Sorry for mobile formatting. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
r1EAwhH1yZf2RmGmKBD2YCBoY7S3UB0Q | b4dxok | {
"description": "yelling at two highschool girls because they talked throughout an entire movie",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for yelling at two highschool girls because they talked throughout an entire movie | I just watched "Us" and it was awesome except for the two highschool girls that texted, whispered, and chuckled throughout *the entire film*. I'm only 24 so it wasn't some old-man rage thing. These young ladies were causing the other people in the theater to shift and look back. It was honestly the second worst experience I've ever had watching a movie in a theater (second only to the time I sat behind and Arabic crowd that translated "Captain America: Winter Soldier" in real time to their friend).
After the movie ended I kind of lost it. I just yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" as the credits started to roll. Got close on them and chewed them out for having zero respect for the other people in the theater. I guess I'm a bit menacing because they seemed afraid for their safety and one cried. Then I just left. So not sure if I'll end up with cops at my door or not yet. I was just so angry at their blatant disrespect and the fact they ruined the premier for me so badly that I'm driving a town over tomorrow just to watch it again without such annoying people in the theater.
I don't feel bad about what I did. I sincerely hope those two never act that way in a theater again or better yet just never go to the movies again and save the rest of the world from dealing with them. But I do feel like I might have gone to far by basically blowing up at the two ignorant kids (I say that but they were 16-ish). | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
1OpXQvxoWR5hvDIs3GL4gI1pNfT9IpUz | a9iyte | {
"description": "not feeling bad for my Aunt",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Not Feeling Bad for my Aunt. | So my Aunt is 31 years old (I'm 18). She failed out of college despite her parents paying for all her needs, refuses to work, and never tried to work hard to improve after high school. Last year without consulting anyone, she decided to try for a baby with a "rich" man she had only been dating for a month and unsurprisingly he left and doesn't pay child support because she refuses to take him to court. Her parents and her sisters constantly and furiously berate her, insult her, and talk down to her for her failures in life and since she lives with her parents and they support her and her child, she's expected to do the chores and cook so she's kind of like a maid. They've treated her like this since she dropped out of college, but I can't sympathize because she's had so many opportunities to work or further her education at no expense and turned them down out of laziness. Like in the past 10 years she's only worked maybe 8 months and has turned down or didn't even apply to around 10 entry level jobs. If she was really upset with her treatment then she would have left years ago right? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
D5aZUq0pNctQSIfpVbFWcdXKFPkxuBTd | ac5up1 | {
"description": "wanting my dad to pay a portion of our netflix subscription",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for wanting my dad to pay a portion of our netflix subscription? | I'm currently in university, and I have a limited budget. I have a Netflix account that can have 4 devices watching at one time, on that account I have me, my girlfriend & my brother. My girlfriend, my brother & I each pay for ⅓ of the cost of the account, which is too expensive for me to pay on my own, yet this way is cheaper than me having a 1 person account.
Recently, my dad asked if he could jump in on it, since it can have up to 4 people watching at once. I said sure, and told him it would cost him $6 each month. He then called me ungrateful and selfish, explaining that he shouldn't have to pay me at all because it doesn't cost me any extra to have him on there, because I was already paying for a 4-person account. (the options are 1, 2 or 4 people).
I thought it was perfectly reasonable, as everyone else pays their part, and it seems unfair to let him arbitrarily get it for free, when I couldn't afford to do the same thing for my girlfriend or my brother. He says that it's because he's my dad, and I owe him because he raised me, and he would never make me pay if the roles were reversed.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
EMEGWmq0txCK11zXxLkCXdCe6JEm7OKe | 9veug8 | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend? | I just broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years.
We live together and grew up together (she is 22 and I am 21) everything was nice but we argued a lot over stupid things and I feel like I am still too young to be in a serious relationship.
I broke her heart and she begged for me not to do it and that she would be better towards me and now I feel like a piece of shit.
I really didn't want to do this because I love her and can't stand to be away from her beautiful face but I just wasn't that happy. I feel so bad.
She is currently on the phone to her father crying her eyes out in the bedroom and told me I broke her heart and she will never find someone like me again. I feel the same but I want to be alone for now.
I will always love her and I don't know what to do.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
CRrdfYgibkxoTCmMx5C1pTJnXG1Rvckn | adpptk | {
"description": "wanting to cut off ties with a friend who really likes me platonically",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to cut off ties with a friend who really likes me platonically? | I've known this friend since freshman year of high school, and I'm about to graduate. We started being friends at the end of the school's summer program, and ever since she's been sitting at lunch with me and all my free periods. It was nice at first, because she always wanted to hang out and help me out with schoolwork (of course, i helped her too.) However, she started becoming for of a nuisance than an eager friend. She would drag me to places when I have to study, and talk about anything and everything whenever I tried to do work. It seemed as if no was never an option. Due to my horrible temper, I've shown my annoyance multiple times. We've already fought recently, because I tried to apologize for my behavior and she then told me she never cared and thought it was funny to see how annoyed I could get.
After that fight, I blocked her on every social media platform and on my contacts. She then texted my boyfriend, who had to basically play messenger for two weeks. She couldn't take a hint and even sat with me as if nothing was wrong. This happened until Halloween, when she gave me a stuffed animal and refused to take it back. I did not ask for the gift, or her "apology", yet she believes that I have. My other friend tells me to just tell her flat out, but I still feel guilty. On the other hand, seeing her just ruins my day and I immediately feel like screaming. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
q5EDeeHjilgljzWk5DqbbvGV7iqjmf6w | a5y9l2 | {
"description": "reporting a coworker to hr after she wouldn't take no for an answer for a date with me",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for reporting a coworker to HR after she wouldn’t take no for an answer for a date with me | I am a male employee at a fairly well known technology company in Silicon Valley and we have a policy about dating that goes something like this: if you are interested in dating a coworker you can request once and only once if they’d like to hang out after work or on a weekend. If they decline for any reason, even if they say they’re busy, then you must accept it as a lack of interest on their part. Obviously if they say they’re busy but offer a date and time that works better for them then it can be considered an acceptance but if they say no or that they’re busy (full stop), then you are not allowed to pursue it further.
There is a fairly attractive woman that worked in a department located near mine and we met in the break room a few weeks ago. She is cute however I have a strong policy of not dating coworkers. Full stop. (I have had horror stories happen to me and friends with office relationships and drama).
She sent me an email about a week and a half ago asking if I’d like to grab drinks after work. I said I was flattered by the offer but that I’m busy.
She responded with “oh okay is there a better time for you”? (Which is against company policy to even ask). I cut her some slack and said “not really to be honest but I appreciate the invite!”
I thought that would be the end of the situation, but on Saturday morning at 2:45am I got a text message that said “are you sure you don’t wanna grab drinks with me? 😉 “
I responded in the morning when I actually read it and I said that thanks but I’m good Ann’s have a great weekend. She responded with a “oh ok sorry to bother you”.
I thought that would be the end of it, but then on Sunday at 1:30am I got another text saying “hey just so I know... what did I do wrong? Was it something I said? I’m so sorry but like, I feel like I should know why it was?”
I ignored the text message and on this Monday first thing I did was walk straight into my bosses office. Her attitude was “sounds like she likes you man! She’s hot why don’t you go for it”.
I told him that (a) I’m not interested and (b) I don’t date coworkers due to my personal experience.
She advised that reporting it to HR would cause drama that the neighboring department really cannot afford because it’s a busy season for them and that she’s a really nice girl anyway. Also I should reconsider maybe dating her and if not then I should at least be flattered and not pissed.
This caused me to wonder why my boss would have taken HER side and not her own employees (she is not the girls boss). So I looked at the members of one of the extracurricular social groups for Latin women, and I think they know each other through that group.
She’s trying to protect her friend. Last night I got a text from my boss that said “please don’t get her in trouble she’s a really nice girl and if you’re not interested then just please tell her”. But I already have told her why? And I don’t feel like I need a reason to reject a date or a person anyways - they’re not owed that. No is a full sentence, right?
I milled it over last night and I decided to report it to Hr this morning. I have had no contact with my boss since, in fact she has deliberately avoided me and said nothing to me all day.
The rest of my coworkers have all suspiciously ignored me as well, one even cancelled a subteam meeting that day that I would have gone to.
I have a feeling like there will now be intense social backlash over my decision to report her. And now I’m regretting it and wondering if I may be opening up myself to further issues and possibly bullying and harassment by the guys and girls I work with.
Now I’m starting to really really dwell on this and wondering if I did the right thing.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
SH1vnDfH4sswdAymaoD4bS5OB8bTMGgW | b0e8am | {
"description": "not wanting to by with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA I don’t want to by with my friends | They’re annoying and unfunny.They weren’t like this when I became friends with them we had the same interests but over time I got over those interests and they haven’t changed.How am I suppose to enjoy being around them when I am bored out of my mind and not interested with anything they’re talking about.I have other friends who genuinely make me laugh and I love being around them but when ever I sit with them or hangout with them they act hurt and betrayed.So I told them I don’t want to be friends and they told me I was being a jerk and an asshole I told them that being their friend has become a job rather than a choice and they just told me to fuck off then.Im wondering if those were good reason to cut off friends. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
TBNcgA0CSDZFw9A3wIRbU41mDH6grg7o | a4wgq8 | {
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for getting a lap dance",
"pronormative_score": 375,
"contranormative_score": 182
} | AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for getting a lap dance? | My boyfriend's twin brother had his bachelor party on Saturday. We discussed boundaries before he left, I said I didn't mind if he went to a strip club, but I did not want him to touch any of the dancers or get a lap dance. No problem, he readily agreed and I thought we were done with it, I totally trusted him.
Sunday afternoon we're laying in bed, and he confesses to getting a lap dance. He said the other guys bought it for him and he was super drunk, and that he was sorry. He also said he got up after a minute and she didn't finish the dance. I appreciate that he told me the truth, but I'm still really mad that he disrespected that boundary after agreeing to it. He didn't have to accept the dance, he could have stood up and left. Shame on me for asking for more details, but apparently he had his hands on her the whole time, got an erection, and enjoyed it. Now I can't stop picturing it. I'm totally grossed out and super disappointed in him.
So guys, am I the asshole for being mad and having unrealistic expectations, or am I justified in being angry? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 170,
"OTHER": 285,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 90,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 375,
"WRONG": 182
} | RIGHT |
Yeb0Tb5FEoYFQ39I8dhZ0FwToaSPrXpE | b6h6kn | {
"description": "demanding payment",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for demanding payment? | OK a bit of background - I do occasional commission illustration work either for framing or for tattooing, it seemed to pick up after my last Inktober run got a bit of attention from my social media circle.
At the end of October last year a friend passed me onto someone who wanted a custom tattoo piece designed, “great” I thought, I loved what I was doing and was excited to get more work.
The piece was finished very quickly and time came to ask for payment. I know I should have taken a deposit because this guy wasn’t my direct friend but I thought “how bad can it be?”... contacted the client and he says he will pay me in a few weeks time at pay day. Pay day came around and apparently his has been delayed by another few weeks. I don’t know what he does for a living but fair enough, I’ll wait a bit longer.
Another couple of weeks go by and I contact again, and now he has lost his job. Absolutely terrible thing to happen and especially in the run up to Christmas, so I leave him to it and not add to the stress.
Fast forward to now, 5 months after the work was completed. He posts on his Facebook that he’s getting a new tattoo, and it’s not my design! Naturally I contact him. Maybe I was a bit curt but surely that’s understandable! I get excuses about his mother paying for this one - why not pay for the work already completed? He tells me he gets paid in three weeks, I end it on that and say I’ll contact him in three weeks.
I then get messages from the mutual friend saying I’m being an ass hole, so I figured who better to ask than strangers online!
So am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wpuO4G5Zem4dGTJXvnG3rifV1YAn36qo | agumty | {
"description": "asking my friend for his applied companies list",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my friend for his applied companies list? | I know a senior from my university. I knew him before also as he used to work in the same company as mine, but he left a few days after I joined to pursue his degree. Fast forward one year and coincidentally, I got an admit in the same university and program as he did and ended up joining the same course, with him my senior.
As i had known him before, I thought of him as more of a friend rather than a senior, and I used to go to his home sometimes, and he also invited me over a couple of times. Come internship season, which he had already gone through last year, I thought that it would be helpful if he could send me a list of companies he had applied for. I knew he maintained a list because he had told me that I should keep a track of companies that I had applied to, as it will be easier to manage. I remember him saying he had applied to around 120-130 companies himself. I had myself applied to around **100 companies before asking him for the company list.
I had asked him for the list to ensure I do not miss out on any company he might have applied to, because I had indeed missed out on a few deadlines.
He got angry and told me that it was disrespectful of his hardwork to ask him of something like this. I asked him for the list directly, as I thought it won't be that big of an issue, and if it needed some clarification, I would provide him with that.
I understand that I should have taken up a more diplomatic approach and let him first know the whole problem, and then asked him for his help, but I thought that won't be required as he was my friend.
Am I in the wrong for asking him for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
7gfRIUixpMChm9htizVzuhkV7xMDngpZ | abma40 | {
"description": "asking my friend to take a video down from social media",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for asking my friend to take a video down from social media? | AITA? A couple weeks ago, my first long term relationship of 5 years ended. We agreed to end it on good terms and try to be friends after a couple weeks of no contact. Since we have only been with each other our entire adult lives, all of our friends are mutual. We agreed to make sure we don’t do anything to make them split so we don’t lose them. Last night however, he kissed one of our mutual friends which says to me that he doesn’t intend on keeping his side of the deal. I wasn’t physically with them, but my other friend - whose New Years party he was at - posted a video of all the couples kissing at midnight. It was upsetting and embarrassing to see him in the background hugging and then kissing her pretty intimately. It was the first thing I saw on Facebook and Instagram when I opened my phone to settle in for the night. In an effort to stay cordial but still take care of myself, I removed my ex from all social media and asked my friend to take down the video. I am obviously upset, and it’s not that he kissed someone, it’s who it was and that it was broadcasted on social media. Am I the asshole for not wanting to have that on social media for my other friends and family members to see? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
NpUR4bWRCHvda0aoFXM4q9h916hHGzHp | atxess | {
"description": "using a group text",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for using a group text? | So here’s the gist of it. I’m in a supervisory position at work, and in order to pass on some important info to my direct reports the other day (because I was going to be off the next day and this not able to pass the info on directly), I used a group text to send it to them. I did this because frankly, I didn’t want to have to type the info out multiple times, and so that if there were any questions, I could just answer them once. Basically, for efficiency.
Two days later, I get a text from one of my direct reports demanding an apology. It takes a few minutes of back and forth for me to figure out the issue, but it turns out that she’s upset that one of the other parties in the group text has her number now. I apologize, and ask if he’s been harassing her. She responds that he hasn’t (she shows me her phone, and the entire exchange is him sending her a meme related to our field of work, her asking him to only text her if it’s work related, and him saying “okay sorry”). At this point, I think the issue is resolved, but she’s been making snarky comments about it since then, and has generally been cold toward me.
So, am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
XnXtO5AfxYg1S3pSarxbswGnLMkO2TOC | ax01sr | {
"description": "refusing to let my fiancé's father give away my fiancé at our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for refusing to let my fiancé's father give away my fiancé at our wedding? | My fiancé does not care, but wants her father to give her away for his sake because he has always wanted to, but I find it perverted that a fifty-year-old man has been fantasizing about his daughter's wedding, so I will refuse to let him, in that I will refuse to stand at the stage and receive her and participate if he does. They have proposed compromises like both of our parents giving both of us away or not calling it giving her away, but because my parents are not upset and he was not upset about not giving away my fiancé's brother, I want to make him upset to call him out on his hypocrisy. AITA for that? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 38
} | WRONG |
vHn44Ns1xCNmMDQrEiQoAzv5BXE6BLqg | al9p4e | {
"description": "possibly getting someone kicked out of university",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for possibly getting someone kicked out of university? | So this wasn’t recent but I always get mixed reactions on this when I tell people this story. Pretty sure most people think I’m an asshole snitch, but I’m still not 100% convinced that what I did was wrong.
College history course, large lecture of about 250-300 people, pretty difficult. I won’t lie, I started out the semester blowing it off but quickly realized that wasn’t an option after receiving a stellar 42 on my first exam. After that, stopped jerking around in class and my grades began to improve with some hard work.
Cue the dude I screwed over. Typical fratty dude that obviously is just keg standing his way through his trust fund (sorry). 98% of his time in that class was snap chatting or watching ESPN recaps on his phone. I will admit I’m a judgmental asshole, but that’s obviously not my business and it’s his choice so I ignored it. It’s college and there are plenty of people like him.
Fast forward to test 2. I crammed and prepared for days because I did not need another test to fuck me raw like the first time. Important note, these are not multiple choice exams. You are given the topic the week of the exam, you do your research and write yourself a pretty outline at home, and on exam day you crap out anything you remember in essay form. Difficult but it became manageable when I put the work in.
Anyway, I’m about halfway through this exam when for some reason, my eyes wander to frat daddy next to me. That’s when I notice, underneath his essay packet is his ENTIRE ESSAY OUTLINE. The whole fucking essay, pre-written, and he was sliding it from underneath to copy word for word. Idk but I didn’t spare a moment to consider my next move. I immediately got up and went to a TA (teaching assistant)
Me: “hey, so I’m gonna pretend I’m getting more writing paper from you, but the guy next to me is cheating, hardcore”
TA: *starts to fucking walk to the dudes aisle*
Me: *stops him* “DUDE give me the paper please”
I thought I did this artfully. However, from the TA’s vantage point and disadvantage of having to seem nonchalant, they didn’t catch him. I was informed after the class to let the professor know if it happens again.
(For the record, since he didn’t get caught he still got the grade on that exam, and of course made a grade higher than me and got to fucking keep it. A+.)
Fast forward one more time to the 3rd and final exam. I’m in my own head, furiously word vomiting about colonization or something. Almost forgot about frat man next to me. Chuckled in my head thinking there was no way he could be doing it again. Nah. No way.
He’s fucking doing it again.
This time, I don’t get up. The professor was already hovering in the vicinity. All it took this time was dead eye contact between myself and the professor, followed by a swift eye jerk in the direction of the cheater. Professor stormed down our aisle, demanded the dudes papers. Could feel the guy practically shit himself. Hesitantly follows the order and finally gets dragged out of the class.
In my uni, the honor code states that punishment can range from a failing grade on that exam or being failed for the whole class. It can even, on request of the professor, be taken to the honors council where they can make an even more serious decision of removing said person from certain university programs or even the university itself. Honestly, the professor seemed fucking fumed about it, so I don’t know to what extent he took it.
Looking back at it now, part of me realizes that this wasn’t high school; a days detention and a smack on the wrist was not all this guy was gonna get. But at the time I was PISSED, being someone who actually worked for the good grade just to have someone who did nothing to blow through the class was entirely.
But, I snitched. That’s the basic offense against me but really, Am I the Asshole?
TL;DR I got some dude next to me busted for cheating and his consequences were probably really bad | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
7mUSRiKpBkPjkIdSiC2Veyv45jzWp2FL | 9uslfq | {
"description": "being upset with my girlfriend kissing her female friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being upset with my girlfriend kissing her female friends? | Throw away account :)
So some back ground: My girlfriend and I (m19) have been happily dating for 8 months. I have been 100% supportive of her being bisexual and that is no problem to me. However, one issue that has arisen is our views on kissing others. While she says she would never kiss another random girl because she knows it is the same as kissing a guy, she seems to think it’s okay to be kissing her female friends because they are friends. Also, these kisses are mostly just like quick kisses goodbye and not full on making out at this point.
I on the other hand, feel like any kissing should be considered intimate and should not be shared outside of our relationship. She has said that she understands and would not push it because I am uncomfortable with it. But it still makes me uneasy that she is okay with this.
AITA here in saying she should not be kissing her female friends?
Thanks everyone | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
x4MlgSPSXc88UqZWC2ssql2tMKe8NhmS | ahix9y | {
"description": "ghosting my unstable friend for 5 years",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for ghosting my unstable friend for 5 years? | It's not what you think. I mean, it's probably not what you think.
She wasn't in her right mind, and I kind of panicked.
Let me backtrack a bit: It's high school, I was a closeted lesbian and we kinda had a homoerotic friendship(?) thing going on (small homophobic town, etc etc). We would text constantly, cuddle excessively, she'd call on Fridays and we'd talk for hours. The problem was, I had other friends.
She didn't like that. To be honest, they weren't so fond of her either.
She was possessive and expressive, always making drama out of the smallest things. Just one slight would send her over the edge and she'd corner me between class hyperventilating and beyond reason.
But we finally graduated, more importantly it's Friday. I'm out with my other friends after work when I hear my phone go off. It's her.
The thing is, I'm not really one for confrontation, and it's gotten to the point where I know if I answer she'll want to know if I'm free, why I'm not free, why I'm hanging out with Them instead of Her, etc etc. We've done this song and dance before, and I didn't have the energy.
So instead of answering, I let it go to voicemail and I turn off my ringer.
About 4 hours pass, and one of my friends gets a call from my parents, complaining that I'm not answering their calls and that my inbox is full.
So I check my phone.
28 missed calls.
I feel a bit sick at the sight.
I dial my voicemail, and sure enough it's full. One is an old saved message from my grandfather, but every single other slot is filled by Her.
- "Hey [my name] I'm just calling to see what you're up to! Call me back!!!"
- "Hiiiiii!!!! You're probably busy, just wanted to chat! Call me!!!"
That's how they started out, simple enough, but only spaced about 15min apart.
They started getting more desperate around the fifth message.
- "Hey, you haven't called me back. Are you ignoring my calls?"
- "It's [blank] again, why aren't you answering????"
- "Are you ignoring me? Should I drive to your house? Call Me Back!"
To be honest I was deleting the messages pretty fast by that point, not really listening to them. The last message in my inbox is stuck in my mind though. 20 seconds of heavy, upset breathing, followed by her saying my name, then hanging up.
It's only been 4 hours! I couldn't wrap my head around that fact. I was freaked out and more than a little bit scared.
I emptied my voicemail and told my other friends what had happened. They said that she was being "really creepy" and I "should be careful", so I turned my phone off.
Long story short, she kept calling my mobile, when I got home I found out that she'd called my house phone another 20 times. Then it was 12-30 times a day, every day, for the rest of summer.
I felt paralysed. I couldn't pick up because at that point I really had been avoiding her, and I could not just tell her that she was acting strange.
I know she has emotional stability issues, but I was scared. I never contacted her again, and eventually the calls stopped.
We were friends for years before this incident, and I never gave her a reason why I broke contact so suddenly.
The worst part is, I kind of want to make contact again. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
DSW3XqQ4KmfVfURJKExx1ZXcTKlqJEaS | ast4fp | {
"description": "not being able to have stability with friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being able to have stability with friends? | Please read through this all.
&#x200B;
I have social anxiety, and abandonment issues.
The social anxiety is caused by autism and I've been "Betrayed" (I felt, i misread social situations all the time) several times by people I thought were friends. I'm extremely insecure about everything about me from my voice to my artwork.
Sometimes I need to get my friends to reaffirm that they don't in fact hate me. Everytime I do so, I feel like I'm getting on their nerves. They know bout my anxiety but It's always super stressful for me when I ask.
&#x200B;
I also feel like my friends don't trust me enough to be honest about when I'm annoying them.
&#x200B;
AITA for not being able to have stability with friends? I always feel I'm in the wrong so I'd like a third opinion. Feel free to ask any questions you'd like to. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0wJ7ggYBtjzYVipsce1DnfWEQwtriGMi | b17nxl | {
"description": "continuing relationship with my ex-stepdad",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for continuing relationship with my ex-stepdad? | My mom married my stepdad when I was 10. My bio dad was an abusive and OD’ed when I was little, so my sister and I took to our new stepdad really quickly and started calling him “Dad” etc really quickly. My mom didn’t stop us but she didn't actually encourage this behavior, in hindsight I actually think she either felt threatened or she didn’t want us to get overly attached.
When I was 16, he cheated on her and they got divorced. It was bad. There were issues on both sides as there almost always are in these kind of situations, but cheating is still a huge transgression regardless.
My mom was livid, and my sister and I were both pretty much angry at everyone.
My now ex-stepdad made it clear that he still cared us about my sister and I, but that it was on our terms and didn’t push us. My older sister moved out not long after and keeps our whole family at arms-length anyway, but after high school I started cautiously resuming a relationship with him. I didn't tell my mom but I think she sort of knew if that makes sense and just wanted to pretend like it wasn't happening.
Four years post-divorce, I can accept that someone can be a terrible partner but a good father. If he was my bio dad, I feel like it would be 100% acceptable for me to keep seeing him. But because he’s my stepdad, it feels like I’m betraying my mom. The other thing is that he’s richer than my mom and his extended family is generally more stable so it's like I’m trading up. And he’s married to the woman he cheated on my mom with. She and I are never going to be BFFs, she’s sort of on the periphery and my relationship with her has reached the point of cautious friendliness. And my sister has already half-abandoned my mom (and me) so it would be another blow. And my mom was a really good mom, despite her issues and the awful parenting she had herself.
I want to continue having a relationship with him. I want to have a dad. I'm in a serious relationship right now, and I can't help thinking about how nice it would be to have him walk me down the aisle and I know he would be honored, but that would be a huge slap in the face to my mom and how can I do that to her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
v9nDFm6UMDExoyA2EsEZEagDHn9lqhsA | b2tifr | {
"description": "limiting my friends time with our dog because of his ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for limiting my friends time with our dog because of his ex | So weird situation. My friend and I are raising a puppy in which we split our time watching her and taking care of her. However, I'm the overall sole parent and spend the most time training and taking care of her. Though the coparenting is really helpful with a busy schedule, I'm worried his time with her may become toxic and she won't be cared for appropriately.
He's getting back together with his ex and they've had a toxic relationship from the beginning. I often had to help him when they fought. His ex is extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive (even though he may not see it), causing him to excessively drink to coup. I don't think he remembers the continuous emotional toll it took on him and romanticizes this past relationship. She also suffers from sever psychiatric issues and has not gotten help. Previously, she has spoken poorly about me to him, making up scenarios that never occurred and attacking my character. They also both do not know how to coup with their anger issues, often hitting walls, screaming and causing damage to other things.
I'm worried this type of environment may be problematic for the puppy and I do not want her to normalize aggressive behavior like that. I also do not want the excessive drinking to inhibit proper care. Now I'm not trying to make an ultimatum, I simply want to lessen the dog's exposure to this toxicity. I also know I cannot control whom he dates nor do I want to. They only dated for a few months before she broke up with him and I doubt this time will be any longer. I also haven't spoken to him about this yet because I'm worried I'll sound controlling and manipulative.
Am I the asshole for wanting our dog-child to live in a healthy environment? Is there any way I can bring this up without sounding like an asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sPZRmPfxUocD3eHT2dGnSFtNRwIbkSEY | ai2c5h | {
"description": "rejecting a girl because she rejected me in before",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for rejecting a girl because she rejected me in before? | So, I'm not the most popular with girls, but I try. This last year I made an effort to care about what I wear and what I eat, and I'm proud of the results. I look a fair bit better. About 1.5 years ago I made friends with and developed a crush on a girl called Misty, but she rejectted me. I took it pretty hard, since she's really nice and pretty. Anyway, I met Misty again a few days back at a mutual friend's party, and she seemed really into me all the sudden. We talked through the night, and when she had to leave, she asked for my number. I laughed, and asked if she was joking, and said I'm not interested in her, she got mad and left. I am interested though, for the reasons I listed above, but I feel that now that I have the ability to reject people, I have no point in going out with a girl that rejected me, no matter how long ago. AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
lbZSW2oAEJzPpw7SOL8tjmaM2AiIWCpU | alowm3 | null | AITA? | OK, so get ready to read. I'll tl;dr at the end...
So... A few weeks ago, I was living at a friend's place in another state. They're all good people, his family. But an incident occurred that is causing me to start to feel hate towards my friend, regardless of how much I'm trying to rationalize the incident in his favor...
Well, a old friend of mine sends me a... care package, I guess. That was all she said, so as not to ruin the surprise of it, I assume. She sent it from out of state, so it took a bit to arrive. Well, I'd forgotten about it, and was at home with my friend (now named "L"), and L ended up receiving the package from the mail man. What I didn't know, was that the package was not actually addressed to me. The sender used an alias for some reason. L is a very judgemental individual, and is very rigid in his mindset at times. I was so thrown off by the alias, that when he asked me who it was from, I lied and told him it was from an Uncle who was ex-mil, and hella paranoid. Why? Because the alias was a curveball, and I since I hadn't actually opened it yet, I wasn't fully prepared to accept responsibility for what was in the box. Not right at the moment. And as it turned out, for me, that was the right call to make. Because beneath the old photos, the mutually favorited childhood candy, the letters, and the trinkets was a half-ounce of weed. And it was wrapped in like 9 bags. Not one of those extra bags was overkill. The shit REEKED. Like "I'm afraid to go to the bathroom, even though I drank 4 bottles of water, cuz if I open this door even a little bit, the neighbors could smell it" reeked. (One of the conditions of me staying there was not to have weed in the house. But L and I had been friends for six years. He was damn near my brother, really. You can trust that we kept weed, so this was literally NBD for me. Didn't even think twice about it, just stashed it in the closet like I normally would.) But fuck it, I still have things to do that day, so I'm like whatever. I need to leave, right? OK. So I summon the courage to open the door, and I go to bathroom. I come out, and am greeted by the standard "Daaaaaamnnn!" That shit reeks!" Yeah, man. So because he seemed so excited about it, I figured "shit, I got it for free, might as bless the homie." I gave him some. Just a gram or so, and then I go back to my room to finish preparing to leave.
I shouldn't have done that, you guys.
I'm finally ready to leave, and he stops me before I head downstairs. "Bro, did you get this out of the package that came?" Obviously, I said yes. Shouldn't have done that either. (L is a young suburbanite, born and raised in the Midwest. I myself am a city boy, born and raised in the West Coast.) "Well I'm going to give it back. I don't want it. You're trafficking drugs across state lines, and I want no part in it." (What?! WHAT?!! How the f--) Composed myself, and told him that someone sent it to me, and that I didn't know it was in there. And is nowhere near enough to put anyone on anyone's radar. Which was the truth. However, I was certain he had already made up his mind, though, and even more certain that he didn't believe me. As a matter of fact, I'm convinced that he didn't want to. But at that moment, I couldve gave a fuck, and simply choose not to. I had to leave, anyway. FF about an hour. I get this long ass message about how the upstairs area smells, and that's not OK, and yadda yadda yadda. (His parents weren't hip to what this newfangled sticky icky smells like, so they literally didn't even notice.) I was nowhere near the house, at the moment, so I told him to open my windows for me. Alright. That should keep the smell down a bit. Then I get a second message about how "BECAUSE IT SMELLS SO LOUD, THERE'S GOT TO BE A FEW OUNCES IN THERE." (Take Heed, Fellow Redditors... Because THAT was a GROSSLY INACCURATE assumption.) This mf... He goes on to say that if I'm selling weed, and I get caught, then I won't get his help. At that moment, I didn't have time to reply with equal length, so I just said "I understand." He texts me again later, and this time he said he talked to his neighbor, some fucking lawyer in some niche ass field, who obviously told him that shipping weed across state lines is a crime. He also told him that it would make the cohabitants accessories to that crime. I wasn't home to prevent this from happening.
So I get home later, and I was tired, so I took a nap. L wakes me up, for nothing, to ask me if I was OK. I say yes, and try to go back to sleep, but I can't. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was wrong. I drift back to sleep eventually, but just as soon as I do, I'm awakened once again by fucking nonsense. "Hey. You want a candle, bro?" Umm... Sure. "What kind? I'm gonna go to the store and get you a candle." OK. Thanks. The door closes, as do my eyes. Then in the next half second, I sat up completely in bed. Something was very wrong. But what? At the time, I couldn't tell you. But after the fact? It was the way he leaned against the door frame, and held the door open. Then he'd stand up straight, and pull it almost closed, only to push back open due to the leaning bullshit. L is six feet tall, and has a tendency to literally stand in the doorway, and push up on the door frame. I'd never seen him do that other shit before. Logic brought me to the conclusion that he was holding the door open, and fanning the smell, because 8 seconds later, his dad came up to tell me I had to move out. Then L goes: "The fact that you made us accessories to a crime after everything we've done for you is appalling." And yet, I held my tongue. These people gave me things I'd never had in my life. Like... Dental surgery for example. They went out of their way to do that for me. I'm a very loyal person. And so that act of kindness meant the world to me. I'd never do anything to hurt them, right? Yet, at the very second, I was disgusted with each of them. L, for making a life-altering assumption, and his Dad, for not asking my side of the story, and making his decision right there. I told him I didn't know it was in there, of course. He didn't care. And then his Mom, just cuz she was there, and looking at her feet, I guess. See, I was already intent on moving out in June. I was going to move to CA, with my gf. I intended to do nothing but save until then. It's my home state, and I'm fully aware of the C.O.L. Yes, it's expensive, but there is more money to be made, then spent here. So during the time I was gonna save, I was gonna apply for jobs and shit, months in advance, you know? I had a general plan. Not too rigid, not too soft. But this dude forced my hand, by not only getting me put out, but buying my a ticket for Tuesday morning at 6:00am, which I didn't ask for. Which meant I had to be there by 400am. My gf has to be at work at 6. So she planned to call me an uber from the hotel we stayed in that night. However, L was so worried about losing his money, HE offers to give me a ride to the airport. Now, I've never been in love before... It Feels Amazing! I love this girl To Death! And I'd do anything for her. Except for that morning. That morning I chose to go against her will, the one woman who really cares about me, because in the back of my mind, I thought I'd get an answer. And for nothing. Because it was silent the entire way there. And full of "lasts." Last time I'll flick this lighter out here. Last time I'll hear birds that sound like this. Last time I'll eat whataburger. Shit like that. But now, I'm here, and she's still out there, because of a decision someone else made, and we're struggling to make it work. Haven't even come close to six months yet. Just getting started. God knows I'm scared as fuck about her changing her mind, and this big ass wedge between us is fucking killing me. I did my best not to be mad at him. Tried to be understanding, cuz he felt like he was protecting his family. I really did. But I feel so betrayed. I automatically trusted that nothing would be said about it. I mean, six years of friendship warrants that kind of trust, doesn't it? Yes, one could say I broke a rule, but this punishment didn't fit the crime, to me. But... IDK. Y'all tell me. AITA for feeling this way?
Tl;dr: Friend makes an assumption that gets me put out, forcing me to leave my job, and girlfriend behind, just to send me to the place where I was already intent on moving to, with a job, savings and my gf. Except now, I've no job, no money, and only a bright hope that she'll still be willing to come out here in a few months. AITA for not being able to let it go? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
4NoFrzflK0GynkazVYDxI2CE0hKNJnhb | aonkyq | {
"description": "not telling my now ex boyfriend about being bi",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not telling my now ex boyfriend about being bi? | I recently broke up with my first boyfriend, and during the second to last month of our relationship, I realized that I am actually bisexual. It was hard for me to accept, as I grew up with a homophobic father and religious mother. When I finally accepted myself, I started thinking about whether or not to tell my (then) boyfriend. He was somewhat jealous and didn't really like me doing certain things with guy friends or hang out with them without him. He told me he trusted me with other men, but I can tell he didn't. I was afraid that if I told him I was bi, he would trust me even less, and begin thinking that I might cheat on him with a girl or something. I ended up not telling him at all, and feel extremely guilty about it. We broke up for unrelated reasons, and do not have any bad blood, but I still don't know if I am a bad person for not telling him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
qnQ500gyhsGVmtRp8lPmWVmy5XCHnMMZ | 9tvd3g | {
"description": "hating the reactions to these posts",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for hating the reactions to these posts? | It seems like anytime someone posts in here, GENUINELY wondering if they are the asshole or not, answers have been accompanied by severe judgement based off of limited knowledge of the situation except what is provided. It’s starting to make me resent this sub and 99% of those responding. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
PFnJ1T4Fi3tiIOT8WNYLgd2KG9M8h48g | b4edb3 | {
"description": "not giving right of way to car at crosswalk",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving right of way to car at crosswalk? | So I was starting to cross this street at crosswalk, with the walking lights green.
This car starts turning into the street from intersection while the light is green. I didn't notice him before my foot touched the road, so I keep walking. I figure, since I'm already crossing, might as well finish crossing - he can wait a bit to finish turning in.
About when I finished crossing, the dude finishes turning in, then rolls down the window and gives me a middle finger, then drives away. Then I gave him a smile, and yell "You too!"
AITA in this situation?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
S8Xad6REkWncSHd8GVB2ezX4N9DZ0aEC | adrbsw | {
"description": "taking a guys spot when he wasn't there at a barber shop",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a guys spot when he wasn’t there at a barber shop? | So, I’m in a barber shop today and when they get busy they have customers take numbers and wait to get called. Pretty normal. I get number 13 and wait for like 20-30 minutes when 12 gets called and I’m finally about to get a seat.
Next thing I know this guy walks in with number 9, and tries to make it apparent that he’s going next despite not being there 15 minutes prior when they called his number.
Now, we all got shit to do, but in my head you kind of gave up your seat when you weren’t here when they called you in the first place. A few minutes later, they call number 13, we both stand up, I show the guy that I have number 13 and take the chair.
Side note: two chairs opened up at about the same time and one of the other barbers was nice enough to let him sit down before calling the next person.
Am I the asshole for not letting this dude cut in front of me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CycKkDq0tFi3kNpvHXcv3TrJyV6hIXAA | b2b04z | {
"description": "distancing myself away from my bestfriend because of her TOXIC relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for distancing myself away from my bestfriend because of her TOXIC relationship? | My bestfriend has been knowing this man for less than a year. Within that timeframe many obstacles occur where TRUST becomes the fire starter to begin their arguments. I might add that he has a two crazy baby mommas that have vandalized her vehicle and other belongings.
So my bestfriend has recently started going through his phone while he is sleeping and of course she finds things in there that upset her.
Note: (if you look through someone’s phone with intention be ready to be upset because you will find something that pisses you off) besides the point...I want to add the information she is comming across was from before they were together about 1 month before. She vents to me all the time about this guy and everything they go through.
Don’t get me wrong at first I was giving her advice and really helping her and giving her resolutions. She constantly keeps saying she doesn’t need him and she is going to leave him but doesn’t act on it. Next thing you know she is MIA and I don’t here from here in awhile, UNTIL THEY ARE GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!
Don’t get me wrong I love my bestfriend but I can’t remember the last time I have had a conversation with her that didn’t pertain to her relationship.
So AITA for doing this because I don’t like to see her upset and cry all the time they’re arguing but I can’t keep telling her what’s best for her and she doesn’t listen. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
hBc59abwuHlb6Q7i1aeZDNs1sgZEctHV | ac0xit | {
"description": "breaking up with HIM",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA FOR BREAKING UP WITH HIM?? | Been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and although we had SO many ups and downs, and he was very hard to be in a relationship with (very petty about everything, temperamental, emotionally abusive, etc) I always deeply loved him and always thought we would be okay. When we were good we were amazing, and when we were bad, I hated him so much. But recently. Something changed. I just felt this urge to be single, to explore my options, I am only 21, he’s 3 years older. I have never really properly been single and I just felt so tied down with him all of a sudden. I suppose I felt I could do better than be tied down with him. He made me happy when he was treating me well, but i kept wondering what it would be like to be happy ALL the time in a relationship.
So I kept thinking about ending us, and I just kept getting so so scared. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t do it. I said to myself I would do it late January when his exams were over. We agreed not to do Christmas presents etc because we were both very low on cash (I had just completed a semester abroad). But Christmas came, He bought me very expensive presents. He treated me like a princess the whole Christmas season, his family too. They were all so exceptionally lovely to me. And I thought maybe I can power through these break up thoughts and il be okay, il get over it!
However he text me yesterday, New Year’s Day. Asking why I had been acting so differently over the past few days and the week before Christmas. He said he felt like I had no interest any more and he basically described how I felt. And I couldn’t lie. I had to tell him. So I text him to please meet me to talk, but he wouldn’t. He said he knew what was coming. And so he wouldn’t listen to me, and I had to text him and explain how I was feeling (he gave me no choice, said he did not want to see me). He obviously has taken it so so badly. He is so angry, so upset, so disgusted, says I just used him over the Xmas period etc. And in a way it’s true. I should have ended the relationship as soon as I had doubts but I didn’t.
Basically I feel lowest of the low, I feel like absolute shit. I feel so guilty. Who the fuck ends a 3 year relationship on New Year’s Day after being treated amazingly like that over Christmas?
All I know is that it was a long time coming, and I just picked the worst timing ever.
He says his family hate me and are disgusted with me.
It literally just looks like I stayed with him for Christmas and then on the first of January was like nope, see ya, I want a new life now.
I already think I’m an asshole, even though I just did was was right for me. I think I just handled it badly. I just want your opinions.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HfI6MwchZUoxde1FkXfzTgWuhels0pTI | ahmlrt | {
"description": "confessing to the almost-gf of a good friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for confessing to the almost-gf of a good friend (kinda but theres more can't shorten it good) | Soo,
I Have a friend group that I met about 2-3 years ago. (they already knew each other for like 2 years i guess). I met this girl before the dude and I instantly liked her quite a bit. After that i met the dude and we got along really good and he eventually told me that he had a crush on that girl and from that point on I was helping him try to get her because he is a really cool dude and I think he deserves it although i really liked this girl (maybe a bit too much). So both of them talk with me about the problem with others and in the end they didn't get together although they both loved each other. You should also know that they both have "strong characters" so they and really stand each other. That whole process was 2 years. Now is where it becomes tricky. For those whole 2 years i had had to live with the burden of having feelings for her and i finally decide to confess to her. Right now I'm living away so didn't really think it would become anything and I didn't even know if i wanted us to be more but i just had to tell her because i couldn't hold it anymore (maybe kinda selfish). so i call her and confess to her, she is silent and hangs up after like 30 seconds. I realize that she doesn't feel the same for me so I write her that i don't want us to get together or anything but that i had to get this off of my chest but i see that she doesn't receive the messages. A few hours later she sends me this huge text and also says that she had told it to a few of her friends. I ask her if she could ask those friends if they told anyone and tell them to not tell it to everyone. ( I wanted to tell it the dude from earlier first before he hears it from someone different). She agrees and asks them but they haven't told anyone and they promised they wouldn't. The day after I tell the dude that i had feelings for her and he seems super cool about it, we at this point have a super long talk also about trust and that i would never and have never told her anything that he didn't want me to tell her, but then he says like "i also kinda knew about it" and something that I can't translate to english very well bit it is like "I heard it somewhere" and he also said: "but you don't have to tell her". So at this Situation I know that one of the girls closest friends lied to her and I tell her immediately after that he knew it from someone. Apparently she asked him immediately after that where he knew it from, and this is where he gets super angry at me because he had "clearly told me not to tell her" so the "but you don't have to tell her" was a "don't tell her tho" but i didn't think of it as that.
&#x200B;
so, people of reddit, Am I the asshole? and please not just about this last situation but about the whole story. Thank you for your time | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
qWRkQMi6n05lTNe5U9Y0QXCBGzIGAh4B | b985mb | {
"description": "not agreeing to cover my co-worker's shift for an important event",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not agreeing to cover my co-worker's shift for an important event? | My coworker who is also a friend of mine has a vacation coming up for an important event. She was unable to get the day before her vacation block approved due to schedule conflicts with other co-workers, but the event includes this day. She asked me to cover it since we work the same shift, but I said no because I also have a celebratory event planned for that weekend.
Relevant factors:
* We have known each other relatively longer and generally try to help each other out, so I feel pretty guilty.
* I feel like my friend was trying to guilt me into taking it when it's not solely my obligation to make sure that she can get to this event.
* My co-worker's event is considered by most to be more important than mine.
* I DID offer to cover it if none of my other coworkers were willing to.
* It is easier for me to cover it in terms of changing around shifts vs. her having to ask other coworkers.
* We have per diem co-workers who **should** be pulled to help cover but our scheduling method can make this tricky as the per diems/part timers have choices about what to pick up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
g7mgFA5THU42g1ONFFauS0AB9dSme3Vf | b74x95 | {
"description": "trying to pressure my boyfriend into reporting his abuse",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for trying to pressure my boyfriend into reporting his abuse? | Also posted on relationships. My boyfriend was abused for pornography when he was about 8 for a year or so. He doesn't remember every detail, but he remembers the location and some of the people involved. When he first told me about this, it didn't even occur to me that this shit could still be ongoing with other kids (I was just focused on trying to support him).
He just sort of casually mentioned yesterday that he has no idea where his abusers ended up when we were talking about a famous abuse case. I sort of just assumed they were jailed or died, but then he told me he never actually reported them. I was instantly like "how do you know they're not still doing that stuff?". And he cringed a bit then was like "Well, I don't...". We sat in silence for a minute. Then I said something like "you should really report them, right?"
And he told me that he didn't think he'd be believed and he had no proof, and he really didn't want to talk about it to anyone who isn't me. I told they'd investigate it - and there'd be DEFINITE incriminating shit on their computers or something, right? There'd be some form of proof. And then I told him I knew how awful this must be for him, but he deserved justice and other kids deserve to not be hurt. He just sighed and said we could talk about it tomorrow (it was pretty late at night).
Well, it's tomorrow. I don't know what to do. I know it's not his responsibility to report it, but I don't want those sick fucks to walk free after what they did or hurt anyone else, and my boyfriend deserves so so much more. Did I do wrong by trying to get him to report it? Should I drop it? I'm not sure. I can't stand the thought they might still be doing this shit. I feel personally responsible. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
8Rq8CWx5JieaDKQ3BMw1ip9RQWei3YKM | 9y72at | {
"description": "not texting the girl I hookup with back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for not texting the girl I hookup with back? | I wanna preface this by saying that 1. I’m using a throwaway and 2. This situation is a little bit similar to a popular post on here from the other day. However, my situation is a little bit more nuanced and I was wondering if I’m still an asshole. Four months ago, I met a girl on tinder (she’s 22, I’m 23). We texted for a little and we had a lot in common and she seemed pretty cool. We hung out once and she was hot and easy to talk to, I asked her to come over and she said no. She was going on a trip for a month and I told her to text me when she got back. I got a vibe that she wasn’t really experienced for some reason. She ended up texting me when she got home that night and we texted the time whole time she was away. I’m not really looking for a relationship because they never really work out well for me cuz I always put myself first. She eventually asked me what I was looking for and I told her that I wasn’t looking for anything but I was down to hook up repeatedly and see where things went. She said she’d be open to that as well. I’m not sure why, but from the conversations we had, I came to the conclusion that she was a virgin and I brought that up and she told me that she had been a virgin, but wanted to have sex she just has a hard time meeting nice guys. I told her that i’d be a good fit for someone to lose her virginity to. I was really nice to her and always responded to her texts. When she came back, we started hooking up. We only actually had sex a few times and we stop whenever I finish. I know that she has feelings for me though so she continues to come over whenever I ask her to, sometimes I’ll ask her to come over but tell her I don’t have condoms and she’ll offer to give me a blow job, but I think she eventually started to feel bad about that. She also never expected much from me and never got upset when I cancelled on her or when I took too long to respond. One time i went a whole day without responding and she asked if she had done something wrong but that’s it. i feel like I’ve given enough hints that I’m not that interested because i usually prioritize my pleasure, i don’t really invite her over during the day, and I’m not an affectionate person and she still doesn’t get it. She did tell me that she has a hard time taking hints and that if I’m not interested I need to be blunt with her but how can she not see? shes also annoyingly insecure and will say things like “yeah IF you’re still interested in hooking up” or she’ll ask me what I consider her in relation to me but I don’t like to overthink that much.
A week ago I asked her if she wanted to come over and give me head (i was out of condoms) and she said she didn’t think it would be worth it to come over just to do that, i told her that we’d be hanging out too and again, because she likes me she agreed. We talked for a little and then got down to business. Afterwards i kinda was hungry and wanted her to leave. I told her that i was going to go get some food and didn’t extend the invite to her. She looked kinda sad and asked if I was leaving now and should she go. I said i had to put pants on first. Before she left she told me that if she didn’t text me when she got home it’s because she didn’t wanna annoy me and told me to text her if i wanted to. I kind of didn’t want to so i just didn’t text her. About a day ago she texted me asking if i was still interested in hooking up and i ignored it. We previously had a conversation where she told me she liked me and i told her i liked her back, i just didn’t want to be in a relationship. I feel like she’s starting to become a little bit needy and I don’t know how to break it to her. I told her my intentions and made it clear who I am as a person. Yeah, I’m her first, but she is an adult making her own decisions so am I really an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
O517zVm5UIRBbcek4nKaM8nXZivzA7to | axtv3d | {
"description": "trying to fix a problem download",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for trying to fix a problem download? | In a movie lesson, I was set up to edit this unique movie that YouTube had to do. I've been looking for someone to do me and my Demanding Instructor (DI) to tell me and to make the decision.
When I try to explain to him what I'm doing that I can do to make a mistake without it, I have been told to only make a diarrhea treatment with a muscle and compressor to something . This can not be done for many reasons. For one thing, it was a great surprise for me to miss the joy of such a solution. Secondly, the risk of such a course will stimulate long-term exposure. As a result, I need to get RETURN at any time to give me a portion of the program on every product if I do and do the next thing.
After finding a search for an inventory site, DI got another one to fix it and told me that I had missed my opportune time because I was not listening. He was convinced that I had done something he had to say was a horrible counterfeit that he wanted to correct, but it was not done for the player who made the download and it was only a bit strange to what I was saying, how to accomplish it. I tried to think with DI but only complained about listening to hearing. Am I the asshole in any way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
p0N8aXnFN1W5hfnQWP1KTyOudtIEvKOY | b6er0j | {
"description": "playing a Weezer song at a party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for playing a Weezer song at a party? | I've been a lurker for a while, but decided to post because of how much this situation irks me.
So I'm a pretty heavy Weezer fan, as my post history and username show (kudos if you get the song reference), and my friends and I decided to throw a party on a Saturday night. It was just going to be 10-15 of us, and so that everyone could enjoy the music played, we decided to let everyone add 4-5 songs to a playlist that we'd have. I decided to add "Pink Triangle", a Weezer song that I enjoy, not thinking much of it.
The party rolls around, everyone's having fun, until this song plays. A friend of one of my friends who I didn't really know started to get really disruptive, and told the person who had the speaker to turn the song off. I was troubled because I really enjoy the song, so I approached her and asked what was wrong. She said that the lyrics were demeaning to the LGBTQ community, were making being lesbian into a stigma, and perpetuating male-driven thought because the woman's life is viewed through River's eyes. I felt so embarrassed and surprised that the song could be offensive that I turned it off, and apologized. However, I thought it over, listened to the song a few more times, and thought it to be harmless. AITA for playing it?
For those who don't know the song or its lyrics
[https://genius.com/Weezer-pink-triangle-lyrics](https://genius.com/Weezer-pink-triangle-lyrics)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rScMI1dypQs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rScMI1dypQs) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6be0WyAGcQiHrihHS50uv8fVMXduizA1 | b1n68b | {
"description": "not telling a potential girlfriend about being transgendered",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | WIBTA if I didn't tell a potential girlfriend about being Transgendered. |
So title pretty much explains it but I'll give some more detail here as well.
I met this woman on a dating app. I don't normally use them but had downloaded and more less forgotten about it, after telling myself to focus more inwardly.
As things would go. I got a message and one of my coworkers saw and convinced me to respond.
Anyways I met her and we talked for a few weeks and seem to be hitting it off. We're both pretty nerdy and she seems to really have her life squared away. I think we'd be really great together and she seems interested in a serious relationship.
The only issue is well. I recently accepted about 6-7 months ago that I am a transgendered male to female, after years of denying, overcompensating, and subsiquent depression.
I haven't started my transition yet as I've been talking to a therapist trying to figure everything out beforehand and solidly make sure I'm not just have some mid 20's mid life crisis.
Should I wait and let her know further along in the relationship.
Would I be the asshole if I decided to wait and tell her months in?
I don't want her to feel like I lied about who I am or misrepresented myself to her, but I feel that if I let it sit and we do develop a strong bond it wouldn't matter. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
VqK7MkewBVzWnFbDY2JYzbkl2XGXvQte | b474nt | {
"description": "insulting my aunt to defend my other aunt",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for insulting my aunt to defend my other aunt? | So I'm 19 living with my grandmother, my aunt and her 2 daughters. Both of them are from my mother's side of the family. My Dad got my mom pregnant when she was still in high school. They never got married and they aren't together anymore. Needless to say my mother's side of the family isn't particularly fond of my dad, or anyone else in his family for that matter. Sure they'll act nice to them at family gatherings like my birthdays and things like that. But when they're not around my grandma and aunt talk bad about them. My aunt in particular always has a few "jokes" to make about my other aunt (my father's sister). I put joke in quotes because her definition of a joke is a harsh insult about her weight or size followed by "haha just kidding". And whenever I get on her case for it, she gets all condescending like "Calm down, I was just kidding. Can't you take a joke?" I tell her she's not funny and she needs to stop because I don't like it, but she does it anyway. My grandma doesn't make her stop either.
&#x200B;
One day I promised the next time she did it I'll give her a taste of her own medicine. It's important to know that my aunt is one of six siblings including my mother. And that she's the only one of my grandmother's kids who hasn't gotten married and/or moved out of the house they grew up in. Not to mention she and the father of her two children had a nasty break-up after a 12 year relationship some years ago (They never got married in that time BTW). Which is something that she is still upset about to this day. On the other hand, my other aunt is married. I decided to use that as my comeback one morning when we were all drinking coffee. I got a call from my other aunt to check up on me and how I was doing. She also was telling me she'll be off work in the coming weeks and I should feel free to drop by her house for a visit. I tell her that's great and I'll be packing my things so I can stay for a few days. After I hang up my grandma and aunt were anxiously waiting to hear what my other aunt told me. I told them what she said, but I was unwilling to do so because I knew my aunt would use it as an opportunity to make fun of my other aunt. And surprise! she does.
&#x200B;
My aunt gives me a smug look and says "Oh, you're gonna go and spend some time with miss piggy?" I stare at her very harshly. I do my regular rant and she goes into her condescending routine. Still smugly she says "Well Megaque, you have to admit she does look like Miss Piggy." that's when I made my comeback "Yeah, and you have to admit she has a husband and you don't." Her expression changed faster than Usain Bolt running a 50m race. She started yelling at me and storms out of the dining room sreaming. My grandmother was shocked and insisted that I apologized but I never did. She didn't talk to me for a few days and she hasn't made fun of my other aunt since, at least not yet. But was I an asshole for saying what I said? Please let me know.
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QRDgNn4VhFdBNlX3uIQucJmPCRCYTERg | azo46n | {
"description": "not going to SIL's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not going to SIL's wedding? | My SIL is going to be getting married next year and they have chosen to have a destination wedding. She just sent us the details, and it's going to cost us $2500 each to go. We hinted to her that we might not be able to go due to costs, and she totally freaked out.
For some background: husband is still a student and I am hoping to go back next fall. We both love SIL very dearly and have a close relationship with her, but we didn't even spend $5000 on our own wedding! It's going to be a big financial strain on us, and I don't know what to do.
So, WIBTA for not going to her wedding? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 45,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2FjKELE5Wf5LEpO1A6ckZsUymTijaDSU | aoqzu9 | {
"description": "not responding to a coworker",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not responding to a coworker | Me and my coworker had a crush on each other, went on a couple of dates, but it didn’t work out between us.
Several months after everything blew over, we started having a good report again and I asked her out to play pool as a friend—she agrees.
The day comes around and nothing. I sent a text then called later and said, “hope everything is okay. Have a good night.” I get it things happen.
But, I see her at work the following weekend and it turns out she was spending time with her friend all week. Yet, she never mentioned not following up on Tuesday, apologized, or anything. She made awkward conversation about how my week was and I didn’t want to bring up her standing me up. So, I just decided we couldn’t be friends beyond work because of her lack of integrity.
Another week rolls around and she texts “how are you?” I don’t respond until the next day and say “good,thanks.” The weekend she works I feel like she thinks I was being an asshole for not being responsive. To be honest, she didn’t even deserve a response, but she makes me feel like an asshole because she made the effort to reach out and I shut her down.
But, she seems to lack self-awareness. Can’t she tell when she fucked up? Can’t she tell the reason I’m being short and distant is because I can’t trust her word? This was the reason it didn’t work out between us in the first place.
Now our interactions are cold and awkward, but I’m not that person. I want things to be normal, but I feel like I have to be a bit of an asshole to protect my feelings, self respect, and mental space. Am I the asshole for shutting down my coworker? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | EVERYBODY | {
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} | WRONG |
hzJrBcC36Ff9FfecjQSITmRknCMrXsO5 | b6h6e7 | null | AITA Dnd edition | Ok so I'm conflicted about something, so I'm doing what any reasonable person would do...asking a bunch of strangers on the internet their opinion. So here's the deal... a group of friends and I meet semi regularly to play Dungeons and dragons 5th edition together. For me, getting into dnd was mostly a no brainer since I'd get to play a roleplaying game regularly with my old highschool friends up north. I regularly make the trips up north to go see them and play(about 160km each way or 100 miles in murican) i would do this on my free weekends to see old friends and have fun. Gradually, new people have been added to the group to bolster numbers and make adventures more interesting. However, recently some good(or bad) things have happened. We finally got to a complex part of the campaign and had to call it a day in the middle of a long puzzle dungeon our dm put together. To their credit, this dungeon the dm built is incredible in its design. A lot of love and care has gone into building this scenario for us, the players to play. Now the thing that makes me wonder AITA.. I recently had to give a firm no to our dm that i would not be able to make this most recent session to continue our quests as I'm having some dental work done. This precludes me from being able to make the 2+hour drive up to see the team and continue playing. Conversations with my friend (the dm) ended with them just saying "Shame..." now i hear from another one of my close friends in the same dnd group (he plays a tabaxi rogue) that the dm plans to go ahead anyway. AITA for being a bit upset that the dm is allegedly continuing our adventure without me, without asking if i'm ok with it. I feel like a bit of an ass saying don't play without me (i mean its not exactly fair for me to hold back the entire party either) but i feel like the dm continuing the adventure without me, without even asking me is a little asshole-ish. Or AITA for asking him to wait an extra week or two? Or expecting to be consulted before the campaign continues. I feel like I'm in the right in this situation, but I've been wrong before I'd be interested to hear public opinion. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5VlPd8skCUoImGdzHogEJrRgT7cIokox | akk3fv | {
"description": "doing a sort of silent treatment to my gf",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for doing a sort of silent treatment to my gf? | Ok so I am on mobile please don’t hate me
I have been dating this one girl for about two months now and it has been overall fine. Whenever we go on a date together, she is really talkative and we both seem to be engaging but whenever I text her or call her she either waits to respond or responds negatively and seems annoyed. Also, whenever I see her in my classes she almost seems to ignore me at times. I looked back through my (few, actually) texts with her and realizing that I was starting everything we did. I always began the conversation, asked if she wanted to go on a date, etc. Being the pessimist that I am, I psyched myself out thinking that she didn’t really like me and thought that she only hadn’t broken up with me yet because she didn’t want to seem mean. So I decided to try something. What if I just didn’t interact with her at all and wait for her to take initiative and do something. It has been four days now please AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
7xFfLSgGJTSZMJ8fBTT1FM08lS7SJWw3 | ahdmqr | {
"description": "telling my gay housemate my friend who he said was cute was also gay",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling my gay housemate my friend who he said was cute was also gay. | This argument involved me and my housemate (H), we have not had the best relationship in the past but we're civil and still talk to each other.
Earlier today I had lunch with a couple of friends, one of whom was gay. I posted on a picture my story with only the gay friend in the shot as it was mostly about the food. H commented to me in a message, saying that my boyfriend had gotten cuter, joking about how I was not dining with my boyfriend but some other guy. I replied with 'lol he's gay you know, hint hint', since he'd JUST called my friend cute, and H was recently single. That's all I said.
He became incredibly angry at me, saying how I was being very offensive by assuming he would be attracted to any other gay guy. He said and I quote because the messages are saved: 'it’s the same as me pointing at a random homeless guy and saying u two are straight, wink wink' (no idea why he needed to use the word homeless, felt that was actually more offensive). I told him it was just a joke like how he'd joked that my friend was cute (I was actually joking, it was more to make it known I wasn't just having lunch with a single straight guy idk). He replied and I quote 'but it was a bad and offensive joke' 'like that’s like me using some racial slur on u and being like it’s a joke' (I'm Asian). He said he was trying to educate me so that I did not offend other gay people.
This happened earlier and I have yet to reply to H. Who then asked me 'that was wrong if you, don't you understand??'.
Please tell me if I'm actually crazy for not understanding how what I said could be offensive in that way. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
oo3AKnOsCyN2x8lIOCzjpmycMVOLkBcl | amscn4 | {
"description": "snitching on my friend's friend for hurting her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for snitching on my friend’s friend for hurting her | OKAY my english isn’t very good take that in mind while reading this
I will refer to my friend as “lia”
And her friend as “bob” and *his* friend as “tim” got it? Okay
Sooo every other week we have this lesson in a specific room that has a desk and chair in the corner of the classroom (the classroom layout was pretty awkward)
So anyways Bob once sat in that desk in the corner and did pretty stupid stuff
2 weeks after me and lia got to class before bob did so we decided to sit in the seat in the corner. In comes Bob he acts pretty angry (which I believed at the time but that was because I barely knew him like at all) he started to take away our bags and pencil cases , this went on for maybe 15 mins? And then Tim threw a baseball at us (OH! Also Tim is lia’s ex) so i * attempted * to throw it back and ended up hitting another guy in my class (okay this is where i know i was in the wrong for not apologising to the guy immediately, sorry dude) ANYWHO Bob was joking around with lia and trying to take the desk from us (yes JUST the desk) and then he proceeded to stab my friend’s water bottle with scissors and because she was holding the bottle in her hand it ending up causing a little injury (nothing too bad really) i didn’t really know bob was joking around but i think scissors are one of the many things you *don’t* joke around with so i told the teacher and he got put into remove .
CUT TO after he came back from remove . Tim & Bob gave me a hard time calling my snitch every chance they get but that wasn’t that bad so I ignored them . I thought they would stop after a while , CUT TO french lesson i sat next to lia again and near the end of the lesson , i got hit in the head with a baseball , tim had thrown it at me (which i guess is pretty fair so ill give him that one) .
I once sat by Bob in IT and the “conversation” went like this (not specific i cant completely remember it)
Bob : why’d you snitch on me? Even tho lia didn’t want you to
I kinda didn’t respond sooo
CUT TO last lesson {GEO}
I was sitting next to lia (again) meaning i sat *directly* in front of Bob by the end of the lesson Bob threw a pen at me (twice) and that was the last straw for me
I kept silence about this matter or if it was bothering me to my friends and family , but one day i told my dad and he was insistent on filling out a complaint i was reluctant to say yes knowing that i might be called a snitch again and get ridiculed , but i said yes anyways
A few days after i got called into the head teacher’s office to discuss their “punishment” i didn’t want them to be put in remove cuz that would do more harm than good so we settled on a “warning and if they do it again they’ll be removed from your form” sort of “punishment”
They got talked to and ever since then they had never bothered me
Am i the asshole for telling them off the first and second time? | HISTORICAL | {
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eKE0xVfUHqmsPxLwqXIbXRRzyl9zDw1x | ai8rr6 | null | AITA? My boyfriend broke up with me after I had a fight with my friend | My friend and I stopped talking for a week after I got upset when she disappeared in the middle of the night in a dangerous neighborhood (where we were staying at the time) without her phone. She ignored me for a while, I reciprocated, and things escalated.
That night I was so on edge I called my boyfriend to calm me down. He tells me I’m exaggerating. I admit that I may be, but i just wanted to be comforted. Now, my friend and my boyfriend were very close friends and go all the way back before I met any of them. We changed the subject and say goodnight.
A few days pass and my boyfriend urges me to talk to her and reconcile, but I tell him I’m not comfortable at the moment and I’ll do it when my anger dies down since I’m not good at talking when I’m angry, but I assured him we would work it out. So one day he gives me an ultimatum and tells me he doesn’t know if he should believe in me given that my friend is telling him how I’m ignoring her. I tell him she’s doing the same to me and he stops texting completely. Days later my friend and I reconcile but my boyfriend still wouldn’t talk to me.
Once back home (we were in another city), he calls me so I go to his house and he breaks up with me, saying that he doesn’t feel the same after the situation and how I could’ve handled it better. I admit I was wrong but tell him that him prioritizing and siding with my friend instead trying to understand where I’m coming from, made me feel alienated and like I truly was alone. We talked a bit more, and he lets out that he would’ve broken up with me soon anyways, since he’d be moving away because of a job offer. This of course broke my heart so I finish the conversation and leave.
What makes me even sadder is that we were physically intimate for the first time less that a week before he stopped talking to me, which doesn’t make sense to me given that “his feelings changed”.
Am I the asshole? Are we both the assholes? What do you say? I need some closure and obviously I’m not getting that first hand. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
6OKgzCvW6kBwmvAB1DA84Ph0U3ZSsyT9 | aisw9g | {
"description": "asking my long-term girlfriend when she was going to clean her shit from the toilet",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my long-term girlfriend when she was going to clean her shit from the toilet? | We've lived together for over 6 years and she seems to have a real issue with cleaning up after herself in general, for example leaving food all over the kitchen when she's done cooking and used tissues all over the house. In particular though, I find it disgusting that she can go for a shit and leave it all over the toilet bowl then leave the bathroom without attempting to clean up. I wouldn't even do that in a public toilet, but when I ask her when she's going to clean it up, she becomes defensive, lists all the things she does around the house and says she was too busy to clean it.
Is it unreasonable of me to expect that she should clean her own shit out of the toilet regardless of what else she does or how busy she has been? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MdGngDZxGO0CxoI0I3pMTfstNMK664Cm | b35qy7 | {
"description": "completing a project so fast that the others in my group didn't get a piece of it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for completing a project so fast that the others in my group didn't get a piece of it? | Idk who is. The project was on animating, and I was excited about doing it, so I just speeded through it without letting my partner do anything else. The project is due tomorrow, and I'm scared my friend will get in trouble because it looks like he didn't do anything, when I didn't mind doing all the work. I can see how I could be seen as being a dick but i'm not sure. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
T27kgrtL9lkkPDUEag4epEzcfHhdZyGx | b78g5w | {
"description": "not telling my gf I love her",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not telling my gf I love her? | I’ve been talking to this girl in a long distance relationship — before anyone says it’s a bad idea and it’s hard, I know the risks so it’s alright — both me and this girl are Muslims but we ended up liking each other through a group chat we’ve known each other on for about 2 years.
We’ve been dating for 5ish months; done all types of communication, calling, video calling, our parents have even talked to each other so there isn’t a big taboo type of strain on the relationship.
The other night we were watching “me before you” and ofc when you’re watching sad movies emotions run high and questions are asked at the end of movies, but my girlfriend dropped the question “do you love me?”
Normally when I talk about feelings I prefer to call and talk about them through like that instead of typing in a rabbit (movie streaming site) chat. So I responded that I would prefer to call and talk about the topic instead of just typing “I love you”.
So immediately she didn’t take this the best way and threw a fit that I didn’t just directly say I loved her and was acting difficult that I had even responded any other way instead of a direct yes or no question, which then I said okay I do love you but like I said it’s something I’d value more saying vocally instead of merely typing it on a screen.
So the whole day she decided to be angry with me about not being direct and ignored me for most of it until I attempted to fix it. I explained that I had no bad intention and she’s known me long enough to know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. It was just that I preferred to express my feelings in a different way. She understood and took in all of it but still said she didn’t care about my side and that she’s hurt. I told her I understand and that I’d understand her point of view too but I would also prefer my method as well since it seems more intimate? idk if that’s the right word.
So Reddit AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uJOBiXkO5gmlMXjDADpWIzi5zrmeYrHN | af0kd1 | {
"description": "cheating on a girl who's cheating on me at the same time",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for cheating on a girl who's cheating on me at the same time? | I was dating a girl who i knew for a fact that she with somebody else but i gave her the benegit of the doubt when she told me she was single then, one day we were having lunch and she went to bathroom and left her phone with me, and her otger boyfriend rexted her and called here that's when i decided to cheat as well, and when i told her i was cheating she took it personally and got angry and told me she was cheating too | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
Gwa4NEBnHdEOCHaC3x6EYq1VPv2FeTWV | b1jawl | {
"description": "saying no to co-signing a Loan to refinance my girlfriends debt",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA, because I Said no to Co-signing a Loan to refinance my girlfriends debt? |
AITA, Said No to Co-Signing a loan to refinance my financially irresponsible girlfriends Student Loans
Let me give some background, Sorry for the poor punctuation in advance!
\- we have been dating for 8 years
\- she threatened to dump me if I said no, I felt this only reinforced my decision to say NO
\- BEFORE we ever even moved in together in the house we agreed to split the cost of renting I asked her to create a budget because I thought it would be difficult for her to pay her half of our expenses based on what I knew about her income and spending habits before I even knew how much debt she already had.
\-Within about a year of us living together she started struggling paying her half
\-after a short while of her moving back home and her constantly coming over for dates meals and just time away from her parents we agreed she should just move back in since I was managing to pay for it all myself and she was already over all the time using/eating everything I pay for anyway.....
\-since then it has only gotten worse, she borrows money when bills "take her by surprise" usually just enough for gas until payday recently thought she asked for $150 because "a student loan payment went through early" and then went shopping for clothes within a day of that
\-before she would say she was working on a budget and would be able to help soon, I never saw any evidence to this being true
\-she is only in her 2nd year of teaching so I knew it would be tight, this goes beyond that I pay for virtually everything all our meals, trips, housing etc
\-she has missed payments made asked for deferments all the things you don't want to do | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YAEEiw2Dl1pHUdRJWenJ1SRUVXshSwuR | aept3w | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend over her constant farting",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over her constant farting? | Throwaway because she knows my main.
My (now ex) and I have enjoyed a pretty wonderful relationship for about 8 months, and all seemed to be well until about a month ago, when she accidentally farted for the first time in front of me.
She was very embarrased but I tried to make her feel better by laughing it off, but over time it's become increasingly frequent to the point where she farts multiple times an hour. I guess she thought it was ok after I laughed it off the first time, so it was alright to keep doing it? When I pointed it out to her, she asked me why I thought she farts so much, and I responded that it probably has something to do with her diet. She only eats cold cuts, guac by the spoonful, McDonald's, and pizza rolls. She then laughed it off but refused to change her diet, but resumed asking me the same questions later.
This morning I got fed up, and told her I just needed some time for myself, but honestly, I just couldn't handle all of the farting.
She won't stop texting me and I had to block her calls on my phone. I feel bad but it's just too much.
Am I the asshole here?
Tl;dr: my gf farted, I laughed it off and she took it as a green light to do so multiple times an hour, which prompted me to leave | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
JigzebNfp7EiUF8Zl4lctlc1uY6Lpyin | b3zfk8 | {
"description": "using my baby's fathers card to buy a stroller",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | WIBTA if I(f26) use my baby's fathers card to buy a stroller? | Some background:
My ex and I split up about 6 months ago and I moved in with my mom. While pregnant we moved in together I gave him 15k to pay off his debt so his credit would improve (since I have none), helped with repairs of the place we were leasing, furnished it and paid for most of day to day needs. We had agreed he would pay me back 500 per month, which would go back into savings to eventually buy a place.
I had a high risk pregnancy so I stopped working and eventually ran out of savings. Even though I helped manage his business I never received compensation or any repayment of the debt. When I moved out I took most of the furniture, but left the washing machine (which he sold and didn't tell me about until I asked for it since I wanted to sell it to pay for my car registration). Whatever money my father sent would be spent on clothes for the baby, groceries or help with payments of his car (I own mine, he got a brand new one 3 days after our baby was born). You get the picture...
Present dilemma:
His credit card is still linked to my paypal and amazon accountd to pay for formula and diapers, which is the only things he pays for. I pay for everything else, except on the random occasion where he spends 40/50 dls on clothes for her, or her $200 convertible carseat that he purchased in november. We had talked about buying a good stroller, and he agreed to pay for half. I really wanted a good stroller since I have purchased two regular ones and have found them to run down fairly quickly. His half of the stroller would be 250 dls, and the stroller just went on sale for 450. I asked him to buy it before the sale was over, instead of giving me the 200 he owed from the washing machine he sold. We had a fight about an unrelated topic regarding his control issues, and now he is refusing to pay for the stroller, says he will give me the 200 later. Knowing him, he is hoping I forget.
So, will I be the asshole if I just order the stroller using his card?
TL/DR: Baby's father doesn't pay for much but I have access to his credit card, will I be the asshole if I it to pay for a stroller he had previously agreed on but refuses to get because I reminded him of money he owes me? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
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"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
RgrKMFwTBviEFnLDFxX3jeTZwhwnvKvf | b7bmt9 | {
"description": "being angry and yelling at my son for losing our cow",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being angry and yelling at my son for losing our cow? | Hello friends, I have been a subscriber to r / aita for some time, and there is no reason to release it to the present. I don't speak English, so it's not good to talk to me. I live with my wife and children in a very rural farm in East Asia. We don't have a dairy farm, but we do have cows. My son, I will call dicky, it is my responsibility to see our cows, we call drimmin. Ok, dicky didn't hold our cow while feeding her, causing her to run away. When he came back, it made me yell at him violently, he cried in his room for a while. Losing my cow has caused my life to get worse. I don't have milk to soften my bread or butter to make my tea sweet. I know that my yelling is wrong, but at that time I felt a lot of emotions and let them all go out. I apologize, is my bastard yelling? Am I a jerk because I am angry with my son? My son is 16 years old and usually very responsible. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
3BpS7spNv5hjXqaNwS0Xn0tI4h0WFMAa | a5jjbd | {
"description": "picking graduating over friendship",
"pronormative_score": 55,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Picking Graduating Over Friendship? |
Little background, I'm a 5th year senior who's graduating in December 20th (so like eight days). Me and three other fraternity brothers were taking a course together. This course was notified early on that there would be a group project worth 65% of our grade and that we should pick 1 - 2 partners accordingly. I asked one of brothers who I will call M to join my group since I know he's a smart person and we were friends. He agreed to be my partner and I thought that was the end of that. The project gets released a month later and it turns out M asked another fraternity brother to join our group and now it's a three person project. The projects difficulty scales according to how many people are in each group. I was surprised but he assured me it was no big deal and that we would be fine. Fast forward to a week before the deadline and zero progress had been made by the other two partners and I had done a fair amount of the starting work. Decided to hit them up and tell them we need to finish it as it's a large chunk of our grade. We meet up lets say on a monday and nothing was really done so I decided to go home and complete it on my own. I didn't end up completing it but luckily it got extended by three days. Great, I hit up my partners again and they both claimed they'd work on it again.... nothing had been done. The last day i'm scrambling to get even a 40% of the marks, but i did not finish. I e-mailed my professor after he had graded it (as i got a 20/100 originally). He emails all three of us to come to his office hours and to present the project, we all agreed today to go. But yet again the same theme, I'm the only one who went. I cannot possibly pass with a grade under a sixty ( The weight of the project is way too big), and I fail I would have to take another semester, pay thousands of dollars, and retake the course so I decided to tell him that I did the majority on my own and that I wanted it to be graded as a single person project instead of a three person. He ended up settling on giving me an eighty instead of a forty five.
TLDR: Did entire project on my own, screwed over friends to save my grade and to graduate on time.
This happened earlier today and these guys are my friends (though not really that close). I feel really guilty but I did what I had to do in my opinion, my other two friends contributed nothing significant at all. They are younger and can retake the course without having to extend their educating. But I still feel guilty, I want to hear your opinions. AMTI? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 55,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 55,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Bbi6tZkWvIw3Ai05HhYg4wTXCumYCr0r | ag2fvc | {
"description": "assuming sex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for assuming sex? | Text conversation I wasn't suppose to see.
Her: does she know everything?
Her: about that night
Him: no
... missing info but was about her cheating bf hitting on me and getting shut down....
Her: i'm glad she could do that because I didn't..
Him: didn't what?
Her: lol. Stop you....
Him: I don't know what you're talking about 🤷♂️
Her: mhmmm
Im the female that apparently doesn't know everything. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
caRb3zgy8nGLtCUU1Ewil5ekIe0ffILz | a3e042 | {
"description": "leaving a small dent on someone's car bonnet",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for leaving a small dent on someone’s car bonnet? | This happened today on my way to school and the only way I can get to school (without being 30 mins late) is by going through a short cut at the end of a small street. There was this guy who parked his car right up against the entrance to the shortcut ( a little wider than a person) and wouldn’t move his car on the excuse that “you could just squeeze around it” except, you physically couldn’t because he was ~ 2-3cm away from the fence. It was either go around the long way and miss a big portion of my first lesson and get detention for it or climb over his car bonnet (hood) - which I did.
The driver got out of the car asking me why the fuck I climbed over his car and “left a massive dent on my bonnet”, which was practically unscathed aside from the watery footprint (rainy weather cause England) and a small dent which could easily be buffed out and called me an asshole so I just walked off so I wasn’t late for class. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
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