id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
rpjIRowCQbECru6kz83iqxyzFBjKaWcQ | ackm48 | {
"description": "thinking that parents shouldn't influence their child's views on certain topics",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking that parents shouldn't influence their child's views on certain topics? (Ex: Religion, sexuality, gender, etc.) | To clarify, I never voice my opinion on this to other parents. I just feel like a parent should work only on teaching a child how to be a good human being, depending on norms set by the society said parent is a part of. In my opinion, everyone should get the chance to form their own views on things without parental influence/bias. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ESGzIt2Vu8JVRAiUVtUhVYXLhBf23PFw | b2alrk | {
"description": "being mad that my boyfriend lied about resubscribing to NSFW subreddits",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for being mad that my boyfriend lied about resubscribing to NSFW subreddits? | I have no issue with porn, but I'm not comfortable with the NSFW subreddits, because of the interaction.
I made this clear very early on in my relationship. My now-boyfriend (at the time we were seeing each other) was on r/gonewild and I said I was uncomfortable with NSFW subreddits. We had a bit of an argument, but he said he understood my point of view. He said he didn't really go on them much anyway and would unsubscribe. He then unsubscribed in front of me then and there.
Today he was sitting next to me on the sofa at my parent when he suddenly looked worried and clicked onto something I knew wouldn't interest him. I asked him what he was looking at and he kept trying to show me pictures of a demolished building. He eventually showed me he'd been looking at some half naked teenager.
​
I've said I wasn't enjoying the film and gone upstairs but I'm livid that he lied to me about unsubscribing. I feel like I'm probably overreacting, AITA?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 8
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 13
} | RIGHT |
MK2xQvMHHJtl08YmLBkUmW5uNRLJoKzg | any4b1 | {
"description": "hanging up the phone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for hanging up the phone? | I’ll try to keep this short. My boyfriend was hospitalized last week. This obviously made me upset and I was also home alone the whole time. My parents called to check on me. They asked me when I was going to visit my boyfriend and I told them my plan. I was going to visit him in the morning, hangout with my friend during the afternoon, then visit him again at night. The hospital is 45 mins from my house, and my friend lives close to the hospital. I wanted to do this so I didn’t have to drive 45 mins back and forth twice in one day.
So the issue is with my friend. We were best friends and had a falling out (too long to get into this post) Recently she contacted me and apologized and I forgave her. So I didn’t tell my parents we were friends again, and realized I had to when I was telling them my plan to visit my boyfriend. So when I began to tell my parents about being friends with her again, my stepdad replied “oh that asshole?” So I hung up the phone.
I’m 26 years old, i should be able to pick my own friends without backlash from my parents. My brother called me recently and told me my parents were upset how I hung up on them. Since then, I’ve talked to my parents but none of us have brought up what happened. I think if they’re truly upset they should confront me. Am I being the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
mLvrrHNkfGrsnsVT5qMD22P46PAdKwXg | b658wi | {
"description": "\"ghosting\" my buddy's older sister",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | WIBTA for “ghosting” my buddy’s older sister? | Ok. I’m a single/divorced 31m teacher. BORING existence; work, grad school, laundry, etc. I had given up on dating in general. I have my shit together in the traditional sense; own my home, nice car, pretty content with my life. Just giving some backstory as to why I wasn’t interested in pursuing anyone necessarily, kinda comfortable with the occasional fling and that’s it.
I have a friend with an older sister. She also has her shit together; owns a home, steady job, nice car, fun hobby, etc. I’ve just never viewed her as a potential partner. She made initial contact with me. Started texting daily, then it became every couple of hours, and eventually it was constant. She would best be described as a kinda plain/homely woman, and I’m not judging, I don’t exactly peak the look meter at a 10. It is known she’s never had a relationship, a date, a kiss, or anything else in between those. I began to slow down my responses to her texting as I realized she was probably viewing my friendliness as interest, and then I very directly made it known I wasn’t looking to date or have a relationship. I pumped the brakes hard. She took the hint, but would still text at least twice daily each day.
Fast forward to a few months ago and I meet a woman, a former colleague, who I considered far out of my league, in multiple areas. She had apparently asked around for my number. We hit it off right away. Many of the same interests, outlooks on life, political viewpoints, etc. I was shocked. We took it slow, but it soon became apparent to both of us we had feelings for one another, so we’ve kinda moved into that weird relationship phase where it’s not really labeled, but it’s not just casual sex. All the while I’m still fielding texts from my buddy’s sister, but none of them are anything remotely indicative of interest in her. Just friendly texts every few days when I would respond to 2-3 days worth of her texts at one time. I also clearly indicated I was once again not looking for a relationship or interested in her. She’s been blowing up my phone the last few days as I have pumped the brakes pretty hard again, but, to reiterate, I haven’t implied or stated any interest in her at all.
Things are getting more serious with the former colleague and that’s what I want for sure. I feel I’ve been pretty open about my intentions and not leading at all with my comments with my buddy’s sister. So..WIBTA if I simply “ghost” her? WIBTA if I just bluntly tell her that I’m dating someone, even though I’ve clearly stated I have no interest in a relationship? The implication of that being she wasn’t good enough for a relationship, which isn’t true, but I’m not looking for one with her. It’s important to note she has kinda mentioned some dark thoughts/mental illness and I’m trying to figure out which way would also be less damaging for her. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
QDbhK0Yhi7zMSoK4WXB4bytiDd7TwIDx | 9yufox | {
"description": "being upset / hurt over my friend cancelling plans",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset / hurt over my friend cancelling plans? | So my main passion is camping and hiking, and I mostly do it on my own since not many of my friends are into that sort of thing. I also don’t have many friends. A couple summers ago, my best friend was expressing an interest in camping and we started toying with the idea of going on camping trip. He started to date someone later that summer and started to spend all his time with his new partner (he has a history of doing this). I tried to make plans with him to camp like we had talked about, but he always had plans already made with his new partner… and they ended up going on a couple camping trips with each other.
We drifted apart, and then a couple years later we start talking and hanging out again. We start to talk about camping again and we make plans this time on a specific date. I’m getting really excited, but as the date approaches he ends up cancelling on the plans because it turns out his partner’s family had a camping trip planned that same weekend. I’m a bit bummed out, but I understand and we decide that we will go camping in the fall instead. As the fall is approaching, I pick out a weekend and propose it to him and he seems quite enthusiastic about the idea. I bring it up multiple times to him (“Yeah I am definitely interested!” / “I don’t think I will be working that weekend so that could work!” / “Yeah I’m down as long as I don’t have to work that weekend!”).
A week before the camping weekend, I reach out to him about it and he doesn’t respond. I reach out again, and he ends up saying “Oh I’ll have to pass” and doesn’t expand on why (it wasn’t because he was working because he had the weekend off). I’m a little ticked off and say that I thought we had plans. He gets mad at me and says he never made plans and that he only expressed interest and he started to vent all these issues he has with me. It turns into a fight, I get frustrated and start airing my grievances.
I’ll admit that I should have kept my cool, but I think I was bottling up some issues I had with him. It really seemed like we had plans, and I was very excited to get to go camping with a friend since it’s something that doesn’t happen very often. It was also kind of shitty since he cancelled on previous plans and this seemed like a trip to make up for that. He accused me of prioritizing my own feelings over his (he said making plans makes him anxious, which I was oblivious to.. he seemed quite receptive every time I reached out to him about the proposed camping trip), but doesn’t that go both ways? It didn’t seem like he was being very considerate of my feelings. I would have been way more understanding if he gave some context as to why he cancelled. He was very unapologetic too. Overall, my feelings were pretty hurt.
So, AITH for being upset and hurt by this? I keep thinking about it and wondering if I am in the wrong, or if I do have the right to be hurt by this.
Thanks!! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FILbB53MGJV6BhqBVcpTS9PvM7wsMLEe | b3lube | {
"description": "telling a guy I know his girlfriend is catfishing him",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I tell a guy I know his girlfriend is catfishing him? | My girlfriend has a friend that is catfishing her boyfriend. She told me about it and I feel like it’s a pretty shitty thing to do. We’ve hung out with them as a couple several times. While I don’t really consider him a friend, he seems like a decent enough guy. My girlfriend told me his girlfriend created a fake Facebook account, set it up with fake pics and added a bunch of friends and then added him. She’s “getting to know him” and will eventually try flirting with him to see if he flirts back.
I’m conflicted. I know it’s none of my business, but my gut is telling me I should say something to him just out of principle. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
dVgBGYaXaTA72svurWlFcRYqhLeBYq1k | a8vmeg | {
"description": "telling my uncle how much of a deadbeat my dad is",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my uncle how much of a deadbeat my dad is? | **Context:** As the title says, my [17F] father [55M] is a huge deadbeat. The usual kind: Almost never has helped my mom financially, rarely, if ever calls to check on me, visits even fewer times, etc, the list goes on. And of course, he lies to people about what's up with me, says he sends money when he doesn't, that he calls me constantly, and to people who are close enough to notice he doesn't visit me at all, he says that he can't because my mom forbade him from seeing me, which couldn't be a bigger lie. This has been a consistent pattern since I was a baby.
We're from Venezuela, but he left in mid 2017 to Dominican Republic. Surprisingly, he started texting me more (still was about once every two weeks or so) and started sending money, still was very emotionally absent but for a wild moment I thought that he was trying to be a father for once. In early december of this year, he told me he was coming back for like a month to visit family and spend christmas here. He also promised he was coming to visit me as soon as he could, and gave me an specific date in which he was coming to my hometown. He planted me all day, didn't return any of my calls or texts, same thing next day, and I eventually had to call a friend of his who I suspected he was staying over. He was there and proceeded to tell me (without an apology) that something (didn't explain what) came up and couldn't come. He also wasn't coming because he had made plans to go to his hometown first and couldn't pass for my place. So if anything I'm seeing him in january. I fucking cried for days. That was almost two weeks ago and he also hasn't called me once.
**Actual situation:** One of my uncles, his brother [53M] was travelling to their hometown (to visit my dad) and decided to stop by my place. I really love him to I was very happy to see him, but I decided to try to don't say a thing about my dad, they already have some beef going since they have very opposite personalities. We talked for a couple hours, and he asks about my dad, if I'm visiting him etc. I didn't know what to do so I tried to change subject. He noticed and asked again, so I told him that most probably I'm not seeing him until january. He goes "what the actual hell" and starts asking why, isn't he stopping by here? So I decide to tell him the story above. He is getting pissed (not at me, *thankfully* ) I reach the part where he hasn't called me once since he came and he is both shocked and livid. He asks if maybe we had argued, because why would he behave like that, and I tell him that this is nothing new, he has always been this way. Very thanfully, my uncle fully believes me, says he knows I'm not a liar and that he always noticed something was off about my father's stories about me (he can't see me because of my mom, etc) but of course couldn't get more detail. He also told me a shocking story about when his family found out my mom was pregnant and how he behaved. At this point he is very pissed, makes a point of how he would never behave like that with his children, that most probably my dad has damaged me a lot, etc. Also tried to apologize on his part, but I told him it was ok. He eventually left and is meeting my dad and the rest of the family tomorrow.
Now, I didn't think of it before, but know I'm piss scared. At first, I didn't want to tell him out of fear he wouldn't believe me and ruin our relationship, but later I realized I probably set off a confrontation between my uncle and my father. My uncle is very impulsive and very confrontational, so I'm almost sure ( **more like very sure** ) he will call him out at some point, and not in a good manner. And it can only go two ways:
1. My father denies everything, my other uncles and aunts side with him. My uncle ends up arguing with his family and won't talk for them for a while.
2. My father denies everything, but my other uncles and aunts believe my uncle and call the fuck out of my dad. My father gets resentful, and doesn't speak to them for maybe years.
Either way, I feel like a big fucking snitch. Maybe my uncle didn't need to know, but it would also be wrong to lie and say "oh he is a wonderful parent, calls me everyday and such". I don't want to be at fault for a possible fight, and I really don't want my uncle to argue with his siblings. My mom has reassured me I did the right thing by saying the truth and it's not my fault if something happens, but I keep having invasive thoughts and nightmares about it. Thoughs? Am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cXVwp0hPAWbOActfl1r3Jw0XkdfnhTgR | b4pagf | {
"description": "taking a shower",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a shower? | Strange title, and that's exactly why we have this nifty box here. On mobile, so if the formatting is a bit wonky, that's why.
The apartment my roommate and I are staying in has an issue where the hot water doesn't last very long when taking a showe. (Any tips on fixing that would be nice.)
So we wake up yesterday morning, she hops in the shower, we take the dog for a walk, go on about our day as usual.
Later on, we hit the gym. Nothing too serious, we aren't drenched in sweat or anything, but we tire ourselves out a little and call it a day.
We get back home and watch some Hulu for a while. She steps into the living room to refill the dog's food and take her out.
I've paused the show and am just sitting there bored, waiting.
But while I'm waiting, I notice I smell a little too much like sweat for my liking, so I get up and grab my towel.
That's when my roommate comes back inside and is surprised that I'm having a shower right now.
She told me she was thinking about it first.
I just looked at her for a moment.
"But I.. made moves for it first."
"You know that if you shower now, there won't be any hot water until later. Let me go first."
I told her that she showed that morning, whereas I hadn't, and that my workout is always more vigorous than hers and the shower would also help soothe my sore muscles.
She said "Fine, whatever." And I went to go have my shower. I got out before the water went cold, but I suppose I could've just had a shower later. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iRQ1gqysRnjX1QxJd2CfJ5hQgK01ezC3 | a47za5 | {
"description": "wanting to meet my adopted family in a safe place",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to meet my adopted family in a safe place? | So I am adopted and I am on a journey to meet my birth siblings. They grew up in a not so great area of LA and I grew up in the suburbs across the country. I flew out here to visit my brother got an attitude with me because I asked him if the place he wanted to meet up in is safe. I don't want to sound ignorant but also I want to feel safe and comfortable if that makes sense? Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qEXJLpFw6N6nVhV5XCEkPgwSSSiZYhW6 | aremxy | {
"description": "not feeling bad that my ex-housemate is basically homeless",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not feeling bad that my ex-housemate is basically homeless? | Didnt expect it to be this long, but it's long. TLDR at the bottom.
Okay to preface this, I just wanted to say that I was never really close friend with this housemate. 3 people from work and I moved into a house together about 2 years ago, but I was only really friends with 1 of them (let's call her A). A couple of months passed and I ended up dating one of the housemates I wasnt previously friends with (we'll call him B). This becomes important later.
Anyway the first few months are fine but as expected, tension started to grow in the house. Everyone felt like they were pulling more weight than the others in terms of house cleaning, and we were not getting along. At this point, myself and B were working 70 hour weeks so were barely at home, and when we were, we slept. A had quit her job due to personal issues, and was home all the time. The last housemate, C, was still working, but was working standard 40 hour weeks.
A and C were in a on and off relationship and were also heavy pot smokers. When A quit her job, we assumed C was supporting her financially, including the drug use (which is far from cheap). Then A finally ended it with C and moved out, leaving the 3 of us left in the house. C did not deal with this well, which is fair enough, and took up alcohol to drown her sorrows. She was drinking A LOT and was still keeping up with her pot smoking and heavy cigarette smoking. It became almost unbearable to live in the house, as C became incredibly bitchy and would make snide comments about B and me and the way we lived our lives. Also at this point, our workplace had just been taken over by a new boss who was far stricter. We all had to get along with him for the sake of our jobs, but C could not bite her tongue and eventually was forced to transfer to another store where she got fewer hours. She would even sometimes call in sick just to sit at home and get high and drunk.
Anyway when we decided enough was enough and gave the real estate our 2 weeks notice. B and I were in a really bad place due to the negativity in the house, and would be scared to leave our room in fear of being scolded or told off about something we did wrong (which was everything apparently). It was affecting our lives and our relationship so we decided it was a good time to move. C needed a new place to love because our current 3 bedroom house was too expensive to rent on her own with all her other recreational activities and her hesitance to show up to work. She asked B and me if we would pay her part of the bond back in advance so she could rent a new place and we said no. We had no trust that she would repay us when the real estate finally released our bond, and the bank account that the real estate had was linked with her, so she would get the lump sum of the bond when the time came around. She told us we were selfish because she couldnt afford a place to live and we were going to make her homeless.
Keep in mind that when we all moved in, we were all in the same position; full time hours at the same workplace. Because she is about 5 years older than B and me, she was actually receiving a higher pay rate. While she wanted her money or drugs, alcohol and cigarettes while barely showing up for work, B and I worked out ashes of doing 70 hour weeks working 6 days a week to get the money we have now. And B stupidly had showed her how much he had in his bank account a few months ago (he didnt realise the money situation she was in at that point and was just excited about the amount he had saved up because we are trying to save for a deposit on a house). So she used this against us, saying we could afford to repay her the bond in advance because of that money we had saved.
I did feel bad at one point because she didnt have money, but that didnt stop her from - in the last 2 weeks after we gave notice - drinking bottles upon bottles of spirits that are not cheap at all. She was wasting her money and then asking for ours.
Anyway now she stays half living in her car and half at a family members house until she can find enough money for a bond on a house. Honestly, our job doesnt pay good but it's good enough to work for a few weeks and save up enough for a bond. Likely she is calling in sick or still blowing her money on drugs and alcohol, which is why she hasnt found a place to live yet. Bonds are usually a few weeks rent, and should be not more than 1000 for a one bedroom flat. Anyway, I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while now. We still havent received the bond back (it's been over 2 months since we left the house) and shes now parking her car in the same parking lot as our work I guess in an attempt to guilt us into giving her money.
tldr: ex housemate wants us to pay her part of the bond in advance which we think we will never see again because she'll blow it on drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L9sbnQQWnoW43MXN1w1VQcUW7mHKBS0w | b4sqdq | {
"description": "not euthanizing my cat even though she has a physical deformity that is clearly painful",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not euthanizing my cat even though she has a physical deformity that is clearly painful. | I adopted a beautiful, sweet kitty about a year ago. I didn’t notice that she had a mild limp until they brought up the fact that she had a broken front paw when she was given to the shelter at one month old. According to their records, the vet they employed thought it was 50-50 whether she would adapt fully/grow normally or require an amputation. As a result they did nothing. Regardless, I was smitten and adopted her as well as a litter mate. Flash forward a year and she’s a semi-active cat who has developed a deformity not only on the fore-leg that was broken but in the other foreleg as a result of carrying extra weight. Now the AITA part... Originally my vet told me that she should adapt just fine and at the very worst develop arthritis at a very young age requiring medication. But almost everyday I see her get less and less active and it’s very obvious it’s because her fore-legs are painful. She is unable to fully use her paws (e.g. sharpen her claws) secondary to atrophy and is unable to climb and jump like a normal cat most likely due to pain. Now, she is able to move around, feed, go to the bathroom, get onto her favorite/comfy locations in my apartment, and even run around and play. But it is clear that it is painful and hard for her to move around at times. AITA for wanting to keep her around because she is such a sweet and loving cat who is mobile and able to care for herself even though she is clearly arthritic and in pain with no long-term solutions to her problem in sight? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
5uxUTDQlF3Cd4IkJj4DOkpbLQ5WwiLdN | amxnxg | {
"description": "being upset that my stepmom went behind my back to feed our cat low quality food",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset that my stepmom went behind my back to feed our cat low quality food? | Let me start this off by saying that this is in the grand scheme of things relatively minor, but it has been really bothering me for some reason. To start off, I work at a local pet food store. We pride ourselves on having high quality foods at good prices that help pets live good lives. Since I'm an employee, I'm entitled to a very generous discount towards food items.
When our family bought a kitten in September, I tried to explain why I thought it would be better for me to buy healthier food for it. It was agreed upon by everyone in the house that I would buy food for the cat. Some time in early December, my dad and stepmother took a 2 week long trip and I was in charge of taking care of the cat. During this time, I fed the cat mainly one brand of food from the store, just getting different flavors for variety sake.
Here is where the problem started. I noticed my stepmother had started feeding the cat Purina, and I brought it up with her. She said that the cat was refusing to eat the food I was bringing home, which I thought was weird because he seemed to like it when I served it to him. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be confrontational and start an argument, but I got her to agree to let me try out different brands so we wouldn't have to get lower quality foods like Fancy Feast. All was well for a while.
Only now, without telling me at all, she has gone back to getting the Purina. I only knew because I happened to see it in the storage closet next to the litterbox. I can get much better food for the same price, and I pay for it because it's much simpler that way. I want to look out for the health of our cat, and I don't understand why she is taking it into her own hands to feed him with what I view is crap. I have yet to bring this up with her for the second time. AITA for feeling strangely upset about this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UOg3aIMFWPe76ZBi5e9nN7WDwgkZaYpP | 9y3icv | {
"description": "skating in a bright area without a light",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for skating in a bright area without a light? | Recently I gotten into longboarding in order to cut travel time around campus. Sometimes I know I'll be working late and so I make sure to wear brightly colored clothes so people can see me and I haven't been able to get around purchasing a good light just yet. But I make sure to either hop off or go super slow in darker areas.
​
Today I was skating in front of the fairly lit main quad and made sure to slow down as I neared the dark crosswalk. I notice out of the corner of my eye this white bearded old man dressed in all dark grey walk in front of me. It was difficult to see him, but I was able to stop in time. I didn't hit him, in fact I made sure to stop a good several feet away. As I walk by him he slows down and gets up in my face and yells, "Why don't you get a light?!" to which I tried to calmly respond "I will" and skated away, hearing a faint "hmph" in the background. As I leave I saw two bikers riding towards his direction without lights and hoped for their safety.
​
Lowkey afraid this old white guy will be a future professor of mine lol. Am I the asshole here? I know I didn't have a light, but I was still trying to be as careful as possible at night without one, wore a huge bright red jacket. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
50HDWlbGGylnF8xM1Y0FMBS3PX3iy51p | aj6o6b | null | AITA in regards to a fight with a mod I had? | For the record, I do believe I am indeed the asshole up until the last comment and when I PMed. Also sorry this is super gotdam long.
So at like 3AM last night, I posted (on an alt) in r/needadvice about cleaning my room, mentioning how late it was, and I got 3 comments. One was genuinely helpful! The other two were “Go to bed or you’re grounded”, and “It’s too late now. Go to bed, deal with it after work or on the weekend, now isn’t the time to deal with it”.
I was salty about that last one too, especially because in my original post, I explicitly stated that I *knew* how late it was and that I *should* go to bed, but I wanted, like, you know, A PATH FROM MY BED TO THE DOOR BEFORE I FELL ASLEEP (my room is disgusting guys, hence posting on r/needadvice).
To the whole “you’re grounded” one, I got seriously peeved. I posted on r/needadvice for *advice* not for shitty jokes/satire/whatever. I also didn’t get a lot of sleep, so I was just irritated in general. I commented back to them, in essence saying, “Seriously? Fuck off” (it was much longer than that).
Still irritated, I commented on the other one, “soooo nothing genuinely helpful then? just stuff I already stated I knew?”
Got downvoted on both of those comments but eh.
I know I was being the asshole up til this point. The person who commented “Just go to bed” is a moderator for r/needadvice. They then commented back, saying “Heh. This would bother me, if I were the pig, and not you” in reference to me saying I’m tired of living in a pig sty. It hurt a bit. Then they locked my post.
I decided to use the “message the mods” function to send an apology to all of them. I said, “I’m sorry I got so worked up commenting back in my recent post. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I was salty I didn’t get any real answers (which doesn’t excuse my bad behavior, I just wanted to explain myself)”.
Lo and behold, same moderator messages me and says, “It doesn’t matter. It is only because of my gracious nature that I didn’t permanently remove you from the sub. But people are trying to help you and you’re shitting all over them. Your bad day doesn’t give you license to do that to our subscribers”.
Fair enough, but that’s exactly what I *just* barely apologized for.
So I messaged back, saying “And that’s why I was apologizing. I feel like I’m a good natured person, and I try hard to be. I feel justified in what I said in my first comment, however. I didn’t post in r/needadvice to hear “clean your room”. I should’ve gone about it kinder, how I usually do, but honestly? What’s the point of posting in this sub if you’re not going to get advice?
I must apologize to you directly, however. The ‘clean your room’ comment really got to me, and I don’t know why. I let it inflate the anger in my comment back to you. You were right in saying I should get some sleep, and I should not have attacked you for that.
Thank you for commenting on my post in the first place, I’m sorry I took that for granted and attacked you for nothing, you didn’t deserve that. I really am genuinely sorry, I wouldn’t have messaged otherwise”.
To which they said, “Just try to remember that people are putting in the effort to share advice with you, and even if you don’t like it, they’re putting in the effort. Try to appreciate that”.
Like honestly? I’m putting my neck out here. So I messaged again, saying “I do, but not when the ‘advice’ is ‘clean your room or you’re grounded’ 😂 Please try to see from my perspective as well, I’m trying very hard to explain my side and I’d appreciate if you could see that”.
They were very prompt with their first two responses. It’s been around an hour and a half this time around. I’m suspicious I blocked or muted.
So, being full aware, I *am* the asshole for the first portion, what did I do in the second portion to warrant such jaded responses? WITA there? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
14A1vjKQLfu2xmpFoLMr69wGlyrUNc3Y | b1e39v | {
"description": "getting mad at my best friend for hanging out with my ex and constantly inviting me over when he will be there",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for getting mad at my best friend for hanging out with my ex and constantly inviting me over when he will be there? | In mid January, my boyfriend of 4 months and I broke up, it was my longest relationship and I took it very hard (I went to the local inpatient mental hospital, which my best friend recommended). Also note that I'm now in a new relationship, it kind of just happened. Since I got back (i was gone for a week), she has invited me over multiple times and I haven't been able to go, usually due to sports. Later in the evening, I go on snapchat and usually see her, her brother, or their mutual friend post something that has my ex in it at her house. This kind of bugs me because I really dont want to be around him. What really makes me irritated is the fact that he usually comes over per invite of her brother, but he was out of town yesterday and my ex was still at their house with her and their aforementioned mutual friend. This upsets me because my ex and my best friend dont get along at all, shes known him for a while through her brother but when I first started dating him, she told me not to because she genuinely believed he would physically abuse me (he didnt).
I know that she is her own person and can do what she wants, but shes supposed to be my best friend and I feel hurt that she spends time with my ex. She also tends to not be able to be friends with a guy without at some point doing something sexual with them. I feel like I'm also frustrated at the thought that it could happen, despite the fact that she insists she doesnt like him. To me, it would make me question her feelings during my and his relationship.
WIBTA for bringing it up to her as something that bothers me? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
D33SAq1zlqvQSfRv0gwz7PlFQsfPkiBM | aqhppl | {
"description": "yelling at this kid for staring at me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 60
} | AITA for yelling at this kid for staring at me | I was getting groceries at stater brothers and this kid kept staring at me. I have gauged ear lobes, a lot of piercings, and I have I'm covered in tattoo's. As a result, it happens. What do you expect? It's just that they usually look away after a while. Nope, he just stared. I told him to look away, he did. He then started going on a trivia spree and asked me one million questions. I answered a few of them but I started becoming sarcastic and impatient after a while. His mom then told me not to be rude because he's just curious. I left the isle, but we encountered each other at checkout. He then started staring at me again, I told him to look away again. This time he did not. As a result, I yelled at him, telling him to not look at me like an alien and to move along. His mother defended her child, as expected and called me a string of curse words. They left, the cashier avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable. I just don't get how I'm the bad guy here. I encountered that little fucker twice and both times he acted as if I was a foreign species. Warned him both times, I'm not his father so I don't get why I had responsibility for setting him straight. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 54,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 60
} | WRONG |
HeXp0l1OkBAbeU2GTUOki0dLgaiLqnHP | amkatg | {
"description": "essentially kicking my roommate out",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for essentially kicking my roommate out? | Our roommate started living with us about 11 months ago. From the beginning it was supposed to be temporary. We agreed to a roommate because he was going to be homeless and we didn’t want that for him. He’s my husbands childhood best friend and we both felt bad for him. We told him before he moved in that he needed to find a place by February 1, 2019. For awhile everything was going well. He had a stable job, helped around the house, and even gave us money from time to time to help with rent ($100 here and there).
But a months ago he lost his job because he failed a drug test (cannabis use). He hasn’t found another job. He hasn’t found a place the live. He’s also constantly having friends around at all times of the day and night, even though we have two small children and work/school schedules to maintain.
So today, February 2, my husband asks him what his plan is because we’re buying a home within the next few months and wanted to let him know he is not going to be able to move with us. Plus his date is up. His response was “maybe I’ll just have to buy a tent with my tax return and live in the woods somewhere.”.
I just feel like he’s trying to guilt trip us. We’ve already given him a bed, a TV, an Xbox, an older laptop, and we let him borrow our cars.
In my mind I’m just wondering “why the hell haven’t you been saving money this whole time?”.
So are we the assholes for telling him enough is enough? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oU9HY2kjnM1Sy47cJjTJRSbRoljA6gcH | b4datg | {
"description": "being about to take edibles",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA because I was about to take edibles? | So my other friend was going to get me edibles because I asked him to, he also asked my best friend who I've been friends with since kindergarten, she rejects, but I accept. I was going to eat the edibles alone and not talk about it, but my best friend told the rest of our friend group.
The rest of the group is saying "We can't hang out with you anymore if you take those edibles" my best friend agrees with this statement, they say it's because doing this will make me a bad influence and I'll force the weed on them and I'll show up to school with them high (we're underage)
I proceed to explain that I planned on doing it alone and that I wasn't even going talk about it or push it on them. I ended up not even getting the edibles because the guy my friend was buying from got suspended.
But the next day they completely ignore me. So AITA in this situation? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
zdO3jvNWQHFAiNUEHUcEKeLArMw7tJQ7 | b32r2z | {
"description": "asking condo neighbor to ask to keep their dog quiet",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for asking condo neighbor to ask to keep their dog quiet? | I have a neighbor, who’s condo unit is directly above me that I haven’t really talked to. They have two dogs.
For the past few months, one of the dogs has gotten into the habit of howling at the top of its lungs when the owners are out. The dog will howl upwards of a hour or two, only stopping for a few minutes at most. I can hear the dog fairly clearly throughout my unit. I have had a dog in the past (not now), and it seems to me that the poor dog upstairs has pretty severe separation anxiety. I can only confirm that this occurs when I am home in the evenings, when the owners are not at home. For example, last night the dog cried straight from 6:45-8pm.
Also, I asked a few other neighbors if they heard the dog. The neighbor above the dog owners unit said that she didn’t hear the dog, while another neighbor said that he couldn’t hear the dog from his unit, but heard the dog when he was outside walking by.
WIBTA if I talked to them or sent them a letter asking to take care of the issue? How do I approach them about this? Should I just stop complaining about it? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CcMWtHvV2dhq4bAngSqIhmdVPsmaletF | b7lluf | {
"description": "saying my religion is the Flying Spaghetti Monster",
"pronormative_score": 177,
"contranormative_score": 662
} | AITA for saying my religion is the Flying Spaghetti Monster? | So for a class discussion we had to do a short presentation on something we have a strong belief in. Could be religion, politics, etc.
I (16M) am an atheist and chose Pastafarianism, which is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster 👾 as my religion.
The whole class was laughing except two students who were strict Muslim and Christian.
My teacher asked "Are you just doing this as a joke or to prove some point?" so I admitted I was. I then calmly explained why I thought religions such as Christianity and Islam were dumb, which made the two students look even angrier at me.
Teacher had a word with me after me class and said don't pull that shit again. I said okay, but it's still within my free speech to say all religion, especially monotheistic ones (Islam, Judaism and Christianity) are evil. My teacher is a Christian and he looked a bit pissed so said I need to stay on focus/topic.
As it stands, I already get good grades. His class is the one I don't take seriously tbh, mostly because of the nonsense subject matter on the module and partly because he's a Christian but I calmly explained my points AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 651,
"OTHER": 169,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 6
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 177,
"WRONG": 662
} | WRONG |
S82x21OjHjYkdiQMizqGoO2kNiYdStsL | avv7ox | {
"description": "excluding my EX girlfriend from our group of friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for excluding my EX girlfriend from our group of friends? | We broke up over a year ago, and for a really long time she was horrible to me (bitching to my friends, telling people stuff about me etc) but I would be lying if I said I gave a fuck tbh, I have really thick skin and I had made my peace with it being over, it didn't upset me and she looked stupid so i let it slide. Like 8 months into this our friends are starting to really get sick of it and it's showing, and around this time she apologises and says she knows she's been terrible and we had a nice chat, cool. At this point my feelings are still neutral, although I was glad things were amicable. I could have sat there and been like "oh wow, now that people are starting to get annoyed you wanna make up" but like I'm not going to extend drama, esp when it didn't affect me.
literally 2 hours after this apology she gets drunk and tells one of my close friends something personal about me, which they then tell me. This is the point where I think it went to far, sure I'll let shit slide if it doesn't bother me but I won't be taken for a fool, I ask her to meet me the next day and I break down the last 8 months of awful shit she has said and done to me, demanding explanations (ofc she had none) and basically tell her that she's had her chance and can fuck off. I tell her that I know everything she's said about me. I tell me friends that I'm leaving the group and that I don't expect anyone to come with me, but they all did which essentially left her excluded. To be honest I have to admit that I was almost certain this would happen.
Anyway I kinda realised that it was wrong to retaliate like that, apologised and we left it at that.
My issue is I dont actually know if i'm the asshole here, because my friends, although I love them, are such fucking yes men. Like when she was talking behind my back they never acc spoke up (fair enough they knew i wasn't upset) but then would tell me everything she was saying, obvs giving her the impression that what she was doing was alright. Then when I told them that I was done with her shit they were all like "woo yeh well done. she's been horrible and deserves it". When I decide that my conscience isnt comfortable making someone feel entirely excluded they were like "hmm yh that was pretty fucked up". I wanna add that when I had the conversation telling her that i knew all this stuff, it was a quite clear knock to her confidence that ALL her friends had kinda betrayed her.
So i realise that im now in this echo chamber and it's playing on my mind. I feel like ESH but i would like some outside opinion because god knows im confused | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
q917abfE96xAV3A8iyXGd9mdzvUD9QGD | b2p0r1 | null | AITA or am I ashamed for my own reasons? | Alright, disclosure: I have fuckups. I have drank too much and pissed the bed in the past 3x. It doesn't help that I have a very small bladder (medically level small, not just saying that- like I got an exam because I went the bed growing up and my parents wanted to see what could be done to help me) and I sleep DEEP, but ESPECIALLY when I drink. I also sleep deep when I pass out after NOT sleeping several days because I struggle to fall asleep in general. I take melatonin almost every night and sleep with an eye mask because HE needs the TV on to sleep. There are a lot of compounding factors that go into when this happens, even on that rare occasion it does. It fucking sucks and I struggle with shame about it, but I since got a guard and meds just in case it happens again, and I am working on my drinking. It's been at least a year, since this happened. I said I was sorry, I did my best to clean the mattress, did I miss anything else I could do here?
But there's a stain. Sorry. I did my best to clean it and since took precautions so it doesn't happen again.
Last night, we're washing the sheets just because it's what we do weekly because there's a lot of pollen and he's allergic. He calls me into the room to show me that there is still a stain. He says he "finds it interesting." If I were the old me, I would have gotten defensive, I would have gotten upset, I would have asked hey, the fuck's that supposed to mean, are you shaming me? What I said instead was "what do you mean interesting?" He says "nothing. It's just interesting. Old memories."
Kaaay.......
What do you mean old memories? Good? Bad? "Nothing, nothing, it's just interesting." Why did you TELL me if it's nothing? I keep asking him to elaborate, then he starts getting defensive like I'm being crazy asking him. Look, you brought it up, you explain it. He can't. He won't. It's just "interesting." What the fuck does that mean? "Nothing at all. It's just interesting." Interesting HOW? "Interesting. You know, interesting."
~internal screaming~
I tried to talk with him last night, and he said, "you're right, I should be mad about it, I can see how I WOULD be mad, but I'm not. I'm just not." But kept drumming his fingers and then acted like I was the asshole for asking why he wanted me to know he found this "interesting" if he then takes it back only because I'm visibly perturbed he's not explaining it at all.
Today, he's going around the apartment slamming things down, and I think it's because of this moment in conjunction with the fact that we are resigning the lease together. Is he mad I ruined his $1000 mattress? Is he scared to wake up in piss again because I accidentally slept too deep? In which case, fine, and I'll do anything to make you comfortable and fix it if I can, but just *tell* me. Don't tell me you're not mad when you're slamming things around and you don't usually. TALK TO ME.
Am I getting gaslit or reading into things? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
AVaXI75siIZ4repIvYd7VvIOBc28hEUE | b7xxt1 | {
"description": "using Tinder as my personal Uber Eats",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA because I used Tinder as my personal Uber Eats? | \*I don't post much on Reddit, so I am a little new to formatting. \*
I'm having a debate with one of my boyfriend's friends. He thinks ITA, but I disagree. You decide.
\ 
​
I stopped stripping last year, but I used to travel a circuit between Vegas, AZ, and CA based on what was in season. A few years ago, when Tinder got super popular, I hit upon the idea to use my dancer FB page to create a tinder account. Everything about it pointed to the fact that I was a dancer, and it actually kind of looked like a bot page, but I wanted to make the message as clear as possible: This is business.
\ 
​
My profile was really short: "Hi, my name is CentsandCensure, and I'm an entertainer at "Club Whatever". Come and party with me and my friends, we'll have a blast! Here are my hours and the days I'll be working <3", and that was it.
\&nbsp;
&#x200B;
It worked superbly, but I always had a few guys that couldn't quite get with the program. They'd message me over and over, saying "Oh I'm definitely coming in tonight. I'm on my way!", but they'd never arrive and end up saying they got stuck somewhere else. I wasn't upset, I had more than enough to keep me busy, but they were wasting A LOT of time. Hundreds and hundreds of messages all day and night with no return. In a big city, I'd block them, but in small towns I was loathe to loose a potential customer. One of the reoccurring themes was "I don't go to strip clubs ...I just want to buy you dinner!!!!"
\&nbsp;
&#x200B;
So, one slow week night we were all pitching in for a pizza and I thought, "Whats the difference between using my tips for food, and just letting them buy the food?" The next time a guy told me he wanted to buy me food instead of coming to the club, I said ok. I would show up, get my food, eat it with them and leave. And of course I'd invite them to the club with me. It worked decently, some of the customers got miffed, but hey, that's life. Pretty soon, I had almost every meal lined up, and it decreased much of my traveling expenses. Eventually I got the customers to start bringing me food to the club, which was even better since I always preferred to have my bouncers handy when interacting with them.
\&nbsp;
&#x200B;
I don't feel like I was the asshole here. I was not deceitful, I didn't lie and I never promised anything extra. If someone asked me if I would consider dating them, I just told them I preferred to get to know people in the club because it was my safe zone. (This is true, all my boyfriends came from those customers I decided I'd rather date.) I tried very hard to be upfront with my customers without spoiling their fantasies. But, I'm probably not objective about it, so you tell me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
LoPN9mhmTswVN5HC1wKpDUDbweNLOjEq | aqfq53 | null | AITA,My friend is a hypocrite? | I've made many online friends and one in particular I made because we had similar political views and shared hobbies he sometimes makes political posts but usually I don't pay much attention to them. Recently he posted about the subject of vaccines and made a couple posts which I ignored until I saw the raggedy Ann propaganda. (Raggedy Ann comic says that the creator made the doll limp and lifeless cause his daughter died right after taking a vaccine) The comic which I was gonna tell him was false. I did not mean the idea of her even dying from the vaccine but instead to use her death as inspiration for the doll. However comments were disabled which were weird for someone who said he loved to debate.(forgot to mention we don't agree on everything but we do like free speech) So I decided to direct message telling him that the comic was actually false and if the comments weren't disabled that I would have informed him. Then he told me straight up that if I even commented I would have got blocked immediately. We are pretty close and I usually try to help with venting and his mental illnesses so it came as a shock to me so I decided to say it was infact hypocritical. He then went on a big rant where I let him spam me until I finally replied saying you obviously misunderstood what I meant and then at the end he apologized. But I don't think I should have said anything in the first place anyways he is related to someone who has autism so I could see why he could be so serious and touchy, however I'm not certain that I actually did anything wrong (the rest of the comics he posted weren't linking autism to vaccines but basically saying immune systems should be enough so I'm hypothesizing a bit) so I don't know. I'm really peeved but he went to extremes and idk if I should be invested in friend like that. Am I the asshole for messaging or thinking I'm better off | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
d8PwJ3en1rmwL6dPKk95zU8F5pf4AJY6 | b9mxvi | {
"description": "getting angry at my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For getting angry at my girlfriend | I'm on mobile so sorry for formatting
So to start, I'm in highschool, this is my junior year and I just got off a call with my girlfriend of about a year. We didn't break up but we did fight. Here's the run down.
It's late right now and I have to study for an anatomy test tomorrow. Enter GF. GF wants to call for the night and I tell her from the start, I have to study for this test, I have a coffee and a lot to do so I need to make this quick. She then tells me to pour out the coffee and go to bed because I always get mad when I'm not well rested (and she's right. I get a bit snappy), and that it's going to make her feel bad because there's nothing she could do about it. I say it doesn't matter whether or not I'm well rested and no matter what there's nothing she could say to get me to change my mind.
We go around in circles, her telling me to stop and go to bed, me telling her firmly and calmly something along the lines of "I know what I'm doing is selfish and irresponsible but it needs to be done. I need to get off and do this paper. I love you, goodnight,".
Again we go in circles as she will not let this go. After three or more time of this I say as firmly as I can "Look. It wouldn't matter if I was well rested tomorrow, it wouldn't excuse the fact I don't know what the fuck a sclera is."
I will admit. I probably should have said it in a less tense tone but I didn't yell at her. She of course goes silent and says that she hates being yelled at. I appologise and she's just mad at me. I tell her I love her and I hope she has a good night. She responds with "bye". I know that's a bad sign but I know there's nothing I could do, so I hung up.
TLDR; stayed up late studying, gf wanted me to sleep, I refused, we go in circles, I shut it down, she gets mad.
So, AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xWf08fMD7l8Vd87fyQ9OLk1dfXfGenjK | a962yt | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with someone that gives me a bad vibe",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with someone that gives me a bad vibe | There's someone who always hits me up to hangout to smoke, so I do it, but they give me a bad feeling, I think I should trust my gut feeling but I don't wanna be a rude asshole because I'm paranoid. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
VuyVTeGuxSg9Zni1KOuI1rs0PewfZzp5 | acw54w | {
"description": "being upset with my girlfriend who downloaded a dating app",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset with my girlfriend who downloaded a dating app | So yeah she downloaded the dating app Bumble, which apparently has a friend finding feature, however she never told me about it and I only found out when I picked up her phone and she had messages from the app on her home screen.
I haven't really said anything to her yet I'm just kinda mulling it over tbh.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
cMAaTwr3kxMsjtyDZfeYfIyOqdSHbgbq | atwlcx | {
"description": "thinking my mom shouldn't be in the Delivery Room",
"pronormative_score": 82,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For Thinking My Mom Shouldn't Be In The Delivery Room? | So this is about my sister-in-law, let's just call her B. So B is actually uncomfortable about my mom being in the delivery room, but my brother, let's call him D, apparently had a two hour conversation with B on why he wants my mom in the delivery room. B does not like this at all and has confided in me multiple times that it makes her uncomfortable.
&#x200B;
My mom has repeatedly said that SHE WILL be in the Delivery room no matter what, going as far as to say Brailee can have one person in the room from her family but she was going to be in the room regardless. I'm worried that my mom, knowing her personality, will possibly ruin the moment for B and D. She's very critical, blunt, and can be rude in a lot of situations that leads me to believe she shouldn't be in the room. On top of the fact; B is uncomfortable with it, and my mom is not her mother. It should be B's choice when it comes to her comfort on giving birth.
&#x200B;
Am I the asshole in this situation? Should I mind my business?
&#x200B;
&#x200B; | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 82,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 82,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ugt6XAXafqWgk680zp8A9ECx9ZMku6aI | a9haa0 | {
"description": "going out and eating today",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I go out and eat today | I feel terrible for the people who have to work today... but I really don’t have anything to eat here. Would I be an asshole if I go out to eat?
I think I Hop is open so I might go swing by there. Imma probably leave a bigger tip honestly. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9aez5Vj7KOe8s8D2Z9vwuv1Xs2SJSWqk | a4b4ky | {
"description": "not wanting to go to a friend's concert",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For not wanting to go to a friend’s concert? | My friend is part of a lot of music groups at our university- jazz, big band type music- and goes to ~3 rehearsals a week. She has a concert tonight and told the group of friends we’re apart of (6 including us) letting them know where, when it was and how much and what they’re playing. The other 4 friends are going to go because they said they like that kind of music too.
However I didn’t want to go. I do not like that kind of music and the concert is at ~19:30 which is when my friends (from back home) and I play games online. That’s pretty much the only way I keep in touch with them and Video Games are really my only hobby/ interest.
She came to my room before to ask me if I was going. I explained why I wasn’t and explained that I can’t understand why my presence or absence would change anything and asked what exactly me being there brings to the concert. I genuinely do not understand why my presence matters. She did not seem very happy and left after light arguing with me and did not say anything as she left so she sounds pissed off.
I just want to play games with my fiends, I don’t want to walk through the rain to pay for a concert of music I do not like. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
QWgodHvzM18iTgnrzlMwUDkplYcwWvrN | b9z85n | null | AITA? Don't want to be involved in my dad's recovery | To preface, I have a good relationship with my dad generally. My parents divorced when I was young, and I'm a lot closer to my mom, but he's always been involved in my life.
He got sober (drugs & alcohol) when I was around 10. Recently he had a hard time (divorced my stepmom) and relapsed, this time with gambling etc. He's always been very needy and relies on me emotionally a lot, and as he works on building his sobriety back up he's been doing this a lot more.
I have a lot going on personally and I'm already really drained by this. He keeps apologizing to me and I appreciate it, but at a certain point it feels like he's apologizing just to apologize so he can keep doing what he wants. The other day I said, "Dad I love you, but I can't talk about this anymore. I need you to talk to your sponsor or a friend." He was very hurt by this and said I'm cherry-picking our relationship, which made me feel terrible.
I know he's lonely right now, and my other siblings are kind of selfish. I'm old enough now that we can talk about this stuff, I just hate feeling obligated to at the expense of our relationship. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pzuQG0D2JCytU22eJ8Z4F2OAl7wkNbvR | b91xfm | {
"description": "ghosting my gf",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA If I ghost my GF? | Long story short my girlfriend and I had some issues and broke up before. I was being a dick she cheated on me then we broke up.
We got back together and I have now found out she is still talking to her ex (The married guy who she cheated on me with the first time)
As soon as I can get my exit plan together I'm out for obvious reasons. She is very dramatic and I really dont have the emotional energy to put up with all the yelling and screaming as I move my things out of her place.
So I would like to just pack my stuff when she is out of state in a few weeks. I dont feel like after forgiving her for cheating on me the first time she deserves any type of detailed explanation as to why I'm leaving. I just want to leave and when she asks what is going on I'll just tell her I'm out here is why loose my number. So WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
EozP0PMSQoeRvg86NsxCJmyf0t3QXivr | a9a9bq | {
"description": "throwing a pregnant group member under the bus during peer evaluations",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For throwing a pregnant group member under the bus during peer evaluations? | Just wrapped up fall semester a few weeks ago and in one of my classes I was in a group and we had an older lady in it she's 35 and pregnant. The project for this class had multiple deliverables throughout the term culminating with a final report and presentation. She was having complications with her pregnancy I assume and did not attend any group meetings and did no work for the deliverables due throughout the term nor the final part of the project. She always said she was in the hospital or not feeling well or some shit. I never cared and nor did the other group members we just all pulled extra weight. Come time to due peer evals on our group members I basically wrecked her in those and told the truth on how she did nothing and never made the effort to do anything. I told the other group members this after we all submitted the evals and they were like you dick/asshole she's pregnant and had complications and said I was an asshole. I feel like they had more sympathy because they're all girls lol. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
rgWvPVwwUweXLqwNd2BmK4rju6tE3hDM | aj4tnb | {
"description": "telling my parents to take back the car they bought me",
"pronormative_score": 83,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my parents to take back the car they bought me? | I'm an adult living in a house on my parents property and I pay them rent. For months I've been using uber to get to work to save up to buy myself a car because my last one broke down. My parents surprised me by buying me a used car, nothing fancy but it runs. So of course at first I was happy and thanked them for it. But after I got the tag and insurance and started driving, they would start telling me that I couldnt take it out and be gone for days at a time, or that I cant take it to the beach, or I cant have certain people in it. I'm in my 20's. So I tried explaining to them that I'm still saving up for a different car, and that I'd like them to take the car back when I do. They couldnt understand why I would want to keep saving when they got me a car.
I just feel like i dont want anyone to get me a gift if they're gonna put restrictions & hold it over my head. I'd rather just have saved up my own money to get myself something so they dont throw it over my head that their the ones who bought it so they make the rules. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 81,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 83,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fPr7d41bQsGmv2ojfrE5vCcRu6OC0h8w | b93inx | {
"description": "telling my mother that she is too controlling",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my mother that she is too controlling? | I'm a senior, and in my high school we do this thing where we ask people that were somehow meaningful for us during our school years to write a personal or a good luck message in a ribbon. We then give the ribbons to our representatives so that they can attach them to our school diploma.
&#x200B;
I gave one ribbon to my mother and a few days before I had to turn them in I asked where it was. She replied that I hadn't said or given her anything and 'besides I hadn't even let her read the other ribbons'.
&#x200B;
I replied that I hadn't and I wouldn't because they were MY ribbons. Although I know that there's not anything compromising or awkward there, I feel like that is something meaningful and that I want to keep for myself. When I said that to my mother my father sided with her. During the event in which we received or school diplomas they again tried to read the ribbons, and I asked them to give me the diploma and kept it with me throughout the event.
&#x200B;
Today I've been drawing and when my mom arrived I had a few sketches folded to later throw in the trash bin. She took them without asking, opened them and started commenting (something that she does a lot - later exhibiting and sharing them, because 'since I threw them out I can't no longer decide what happens to them', most cases I'd be ok if she had just asked).
&#x200B;
I asked her to put them down, since they are mine and were folded, and she got offended asking why I always do this to her, as she can barely see and just wanted to see them better. She then mentioned that I took the ribbons during the event while she was just trying to understand what was written, and I replied that I had already asked her not to do so, and I have the right to set some boundaries. She then said that she was not a controlling mom, to what I disagreed, as she gets easily offended when I'm not home for more than one day (all previously arranged events usually for 3 days to 2/3 weeks) and don't call her daily to let her know what I did, with or where I was. She did the same to my sister, so when she started doing the same with me 2 years ago, I just text her letting her know that I was well. She would then send emotionless texts (which is not like her).
&#x200B;
It got to a point where I would dread calling my mom, so I'd just text her and call my sister instead just to give an update every two days or so about how things were going and where I was and how I was feeling, and to know how everyone was - and it is not unusual for my sister to send me a message when I'm out saying that my mom called her and is a pissed out and worried, asking me to call her.
&#x200B;
I'm worried that because I have been mad and hurt with her for a long time, I might not have reacted properly by telling her she was controlling... I have clearly hurt her (she's been passive aggressive with me since. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
pk9hSuJwxWZmq25oDwsH2gubXzFJEFjE | b201uy | {
"description": "letting my dog get fat",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for letting my dog get fat? | Five years ago I bought a puppy to be my running buddy. She was by my side the first two years and then because of an injury I couldn’t run anymore but I still was able to take her for walks daily. I ended up having surgery on my hip but was still fairly active and was able to take her out daily to throw the chuckit and let her run. Then arthritis set in. The last year I have had chronic pain in my hands and feet. I just noticed my dog is fat fat fat. She is lazy too. I paid a kid to take her to the reservoir to play fetch with his dog and she just hung out at the edge and waited for his dog to get the ball and then she would take it away from him. She used to be a fetching machine.
Now I have to drag her outside and when I do she sits at the door and gives me the puppy eyes. Once I let her in she’s right on her bed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
uCBB2d0Yt0em9TCC2PKjYTC7hO3yXSK2 | aui1lg | {
"description": "not wanting my stepdaughter at a vacation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for not wanting my stepdaughter(15f) at a vacation? | Before you judge me please hear me out.
I love my stepdaughter.She was 12 when we married. I have two children from my previous marriage(16f&12m). We both have a daughter (2f). My husband has full custody of his daughter and her mother has visitation rights. Her mother takes her on these yearly vacations every year.
For her winter break, my stepdaughter went on a vacation with her mother to Greece. After she returned she intentionally started taunting my son and daughter. She went on and on about her wonderful vacation, and eventually my daughter snapped.
Now, we are planning a vacation to Europe. I told my husband that since my stepdaughter goes every year, and likes to taunt my children, it is only fair that she misses out on this one.
But he thinks I'm being childish and unfair. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 38
} | WRONG |
bDOpKhD2sHLdPnwYCP8ztix8FHXG2JDz | a5w45u | {
"description": "telling someone with a history of being a their to get or of my room",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA: for telling someone with a history of being a their to get or of my room? | Okay so this person that's in my life has stolen things and money from my family in the past. Whatever. Todsy she was kvsr helping my mother clean and she went into my room when I was in the bathroom and I told her to get out because I don't trust her
So aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
dPNRbnMuvm52GSqe4zPbQN3k2Athnpyk | akw0x2 | {
"description": "not wanting to visit my demented grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to visit my demented grandmother? | My grandmother has been going downhill for about 10 years now. Started with forgetting small things to complete short term memory loss to now she's basically nonfunctional, rarely speaks and when she does it's to tell people she doesn't want to go to family events. She lives in a care home about five minutes walk from my grandfather (even though they've been divorced since the 1980s) and I know my father, uncles and grandfather visit regularly.
&#x200B;
I however haven't seen her in months and don't want to see her. I haven't done so since she really went downhill. I feel it's a miserable experience seeing her like this and when I see her I feel completely lost. I don't really want to remember her like this. But I feel like I'm an asshole for doing it. No one in my family has mentioned it to me and they may not even be aware I haven't visited her (I'm in my twenties).
&#x200B;
I think some people will tell me to make the most of her being around while she is but I don't feel I'm making anything of it.
&#x200B;
Does this make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
OXhms0ypIN9tRSeFfGUZhdMHLzM7yovK | atnrwt | {
"description": "treating my friend like this",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for treating my friend like this? | So I have this very good friend who is also my classmate. We are different in many ways but nevertheless we get along great. He's much more extroverted than me, and often this causes some sort of 'conflict' between us, especially lately, when he started to call me on the phone more and more often (even when we don't really have anything to talk about that can't be discussed at school the day after), inviting me to see his basketball matches and so on. Of course, as you might imagine, these things have started to annoy me quite a bit, because I need a pretty large amount of alone time after school to sort of recharge, so I started to make all kinds of excuses. I'm afraid he could think that I'm avoiding him because I just don't wanna spend time with him or something like that, when it's just not true, but I don't really know if I'm doing this right or if I am right in the first place. What do you think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
QnQwFFss9mm6uMaBDzAg5epHZKG1WOCh | a6sean | {
"description": "not wanting to go back to a local coffeehouse",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA: For not wanting to go back to a local coffeehouse? | Sorry somewhat long, trying to put all the facts out there. Not the most scandalous either, but enough to start a disagreement with my wife.
*Obligatory: on mobile, sorry for formatting. Also not a throwaway account because people should be comfortable owning their quirky and weird thoughts and stories. TL/DR at bottom.
Background:
-It's currently winter where we live and it's cold out today (in the 30's°F).
-We like to support local businesses whenever possible.
-Our town has one really good small business bagel shop that has been aroumd for years and we love their bacon/cheddar cream cheese and unique lox spread.
-The bagel shop doesn't have indoor seating.
-Two store fronts down a new coffeehouse opened up. It has your typical coffeehouse hipster vibe and more importantly indoor seating.
-I prefer to not eat or drink in my car because I feel it's an unneeded distraction while driving, I don't get to enjoy the food/drink as much, and it usually makes a mess.
Situation:
-My wife went to the new coffeehouse on a weekday morning off to do school work and enjoyed it.
-That night she suggested we go get bagels from the bagel shop and then coffee at the coffeehouse that weekend.
-Last weekend we do just that. Get our bagels and head to the coffeehouse for coffee. We have no issues; drink our coffee and eat our bagels at the coffeehouse.
-Having had a great experience we leave thinking, "what a nice Sunday treat, let's do it again next weekend."
-This weekend we again get our bagels and head to coffeehouse. After ordering and promptly paying for the coffee (with tip), before the coffee is poured, I tell the owner we would like to drink it there. The owner (who was there last weekend, although he didn't personally serve us) tells us us we can't eat outside food in his coffeehouse because they serve breakfast sandwiches and pastries (no bagels). He does this by saying something to that effect while simultaneously (I felt somewhat rudely) showing us the menu. We politely say, "O, ok. To-go then." Nowhere is this policy posted on the menu or in the coffeehouse.
-After we get our coffee and are heading out the door, I quietly tell my wife I'd rather not come back to the coffeehouse because they won't let us eat our bagels there.
-Although we both prefer bagels to the coffeehouse's menu offerings this aggravates my wife.
-I'm disappointed too because I like the coffeehouse coffee.
-We take our coffees and go back home to eat, which breaks up our morning errands plan.
My thoughts:
1. We bought coffee there, why can't we enjoy it there, even if we do have outside food? It's not like we brought our bagels in just to sit, eat, and use the wifi while not ordering anything.
2. The owner could have said you can eat outside food here this time, but please no more outside food after today. (Especially because we did it last week and there was no mention of this policy then). I mean c'mon do you expect us to throw the breakfast we already bought away to order more stuff from your coffeehouse?? And call me unreasonable, but I'm not going to drink my coffee there and not eat a perfectly good bagel until later because of a policy I didn't know about.
3. Other people there bought only a coffee and were allowed to drink it there without purchasing food. What gives?
4. What if we had a food allergy and couldn't eat the food they served there? Then could I bring my own or outside food?
5. There are other local coffeehouses that allow outside food, we could just go there.
A few aggravating asides:
-Bought two coffees and wife only got one frequent customer punchcard punch. For those counting at home, she now has four punches, lol.
-My wife spilled her hot coffee on her while in the car. She's fine and car is ok too. (Thank you bagel shop for a paper towel roll's amount of napkins)
-My wife also spilled the coffee on her at our house while sitting on the couch. She again was fine, was just another thing to clean.
WIBTA: For not wanting to go back to the local coffeehouse?
TL/DR: New local coffeehouse has a (not posted) no outside food policy and wouldn't let us drink our coffee there because we had purchased bagels (which they don't serve) from two shops down. WIBTA: For not wanting to go back? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
wGYYhxCyMJrJp2pU4CYszCbTlt3g6faF | aivkyf | null | AITA my girlfriend fell asleep on the couch eith another man(sorry for the shitty grammer) | So my (16m) GF (15f) stayed with her sister and her boyfriend a few night ago which isn't a huge deal since she does it almost every weekend it does bother me a little cause talk very little when she's there but I keep my mouth shut to make her happy. But one Monday she told me that when she stayed there her sister went to bed so her and her sisters boyfriend (20) stayed up all night even tho she told me she was going to bed at like 12 and said goodnight and everything and around 5 they fell asleep together on the couch and slept for at least a few hours my biggest problem with it is that her sister and him have a child together when her sister was 15 and he was 17 so he obviously doesn't really consider age. I got a little upset with her but once again kept my mouth shut to avoid an argument but AITA for being upset about it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
4bPDaa0pZ5L3Wygg7zMFIyc6HhzwWbaT | ao6cwq | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to become a stripper",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to become a stripper? | I don't want to be labeled as a control freak. My girlfriend has confronted me a few times now and asked how I would feel if she began stripping at a nice club. She has a close friend that strips and says that if she were to work at the same club she would only have to be shirtless and there is a no touch policy.
She argued the point that mens and women's nipples are the same thing and, while women's are more sexualized, they're just nipples and it's easy money. I expressed that I would still be pretty upset with the fact that she's getting topless for other mens' pleasure when we're in a relationship.
So my question is: Am I selfish for saying no? I realize that it's an opportunity for her to make a significantly larger amount of money than she's making right now. And I realize she is an adult and I don't control her. She says she would never cheat and I trust that but the question I ask myself is what borderline stuff would she do if she were to be offered more money? How far would she go?
Would you be comfortable with your girlfriend being a stripper?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 15,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
jeGGkYsW5nhEzXVmrIR37JZBDXSQGodQ | b7ihm3 | {
"description": "being pissed at my girlfriends drinking habits when Im also drinking",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for being pissed at my girlfriends drinking habits when im also drinking? | So, long story shorter -
We have 2 kids, i work 7 days a week, shes saying home with the kids.
I drink 3-5 beers 2-3 days a week, once a month ill take a whiskey (all after 22-23:00 @ home, everyone else sleeping).
She drinks 6-7 alcopops, 2-3 glasses of wine and 10 4cl shots two days (usually sat or frid) a month between ~17:00-02/03:00.
She thinks im drinking to much (i usually correct her and say "You mean to often")
I think shes drinking to much and coming home to late since my longest days are fri-sun.
AITA for being dissapointed in her behaviour and not accepting a slurring apology the 2nd time she came home at 3am puking for 15 minutes and then passning out more or less?
30min ago (M=me GF=girlfriend)
Now - 02:30-45
M: Where the fuck have you been and how fucking slow was that Taxi really? (She called at 01:00 said she'll take a taxi “now“, my friend Who was with the group told me at 01:45 that they were still at the place)
GF: I came home when we agree *giggle*
M: NO.. You came home 2h past when you said you would.
GF: Oh rly, whats the time?
M: Just stfu and go to bed..
GF: Im sorry... Come on..
M: NO im not having it this time again, fuck this behaviour, its disrespectful towards me, your kids are gonna have a hungover mom tomorrow while im at work tired AF bcus you couldnt drink at a grown ups pace and lost track of time like a fucking teen.. (im fuming by now)
GF: i have to go pee, im sorry
M: *throws the look of a thousand pissed of sailors and goes out for a cigarette* (i probably look like a tool when do the angry look, i know).
Or AITA for this ^..
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
Bwv2OQzdw8feDbXtS7mdZqY7dO30Iig0 | b9mocq | {
"description": "having a semi-long distance relationship and being busy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for having a semi-long distance relationship and being busy? | Ik sounds kinda obvious and maybe been asked before but idk I'm new here.
So some backstory, I met this girl, we get along really well, start dating, going 1+yr strong, cool. But we live pretty far away from each other, like 1.5 hr+ drive. I'm the only one with a car so she relies on her parents to meet me on the middle where we normally meet to do stuff. We FaceTime like every night and talk throughout the day, but on weekends I'm really busy just doing things I have to do. Although, admittedly some of these things involve things like my car that might not seem as important to her. This hasn't really been a problem until just recently when she was telling me about it. I understand that not seeing someone you care about for like a month at a time is hard, it affects me too, but she is more upset than I am at times but she doesn't really have as much to do as she lives in the middle of nowhere. Most recently it seems that she's been kinda upset with me.
TL;DR: AITA for being busy on weekends and with things that may be unimportant to SO | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
JHwrnBgUGA82dpWdFvnDvCcQHoOYze1T | ariqq8 | {
"description": "not wanting my ex on vacation with us",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my ex on vacation with us? | Hi all,
It's been 5 or 6 years since we started doing this : my two closest friends (brother-like friends) and le go on a hike for a week every summer, and it's something each of us look forward to every year. My then-gf came with us on the last two occasions.
She broke up with me in September (we're supposed to stay on kinda good terms, vaguely saw each other a few times, even got laid maybe twice since), as since then I struggle to find her place in the group. She definitely is a recent addition to our group as my friends and I know each other since we're 13 (we're all 21-22 now).
I'm staring to feel uncomfortable with her coming along with us this summer because I feel it could ruin my time. Last time she was there, right before the breakup, she was already rather distant and we had a few arguments. That's just shitty for everyone who wants a nice vacation.
I know the problem for me is that she's going to be quite distant with me again (which is normal after all, we're not together anymore) but she was always very friendly with one of my bros. I know that's gonna piss me off. It's take me months to get my shit together after the breakup, I don't want to feel like shit almost a year later for no reason.
So yeah I guess you could say it's an egoistic way of seeing things, but after all I value my vacations more than hers now, I have no reason to put up with shit just to be nice.
AITA?
BONUS ROUND: I sent a message to the bros saying I think I'd rather hike without her this summer, formulated in a really not-decided-yet-but-I'm-listening-to-my-guts kind of way. Should I tell her now too? Wait a few months until the hike comes up in the group chat? I'm hesitating, maybe something will come up or I'll have a change of heart. (Probably not but eh, I'm looking for any reason to delay having this discussion with her) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jcR7NZ0ITKX5AuFtG09I2xwNqdSiJrZ0 | afif0e | {
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend for ditching me for his friends on my birthday night out",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset with my boyfriend for ditching me for his friends on my birthday night out? | Apologies for format and spelling/gramma I’m dyslexic
I’ll try not to make this too long but basically it’s my birthday today, as part of my birthday celebrations my partner paid for us to go away to see my favourite band, the catch however was his friends would be there. I didn’t mind too much as I know with his past mental Heath issues spending time with his friends was important and I was just exited to be going away.
We get to the place and I encourage meeting up with his friends for drinks before the show but he declines this. We go to the show have an amazing time and meet up with his pals. Now I don’t quite get on with one of them but I put up with it as stated before I know his friends mean a lot. We get to the club and it all goes downhill from there really.
I end up feeling really nervous about how busy it is and I start to feel sick. I push off leaving as much as I possibly can because I don’t want to upset him. I last about 2 hours but then I end up asking him if we could leave and he agrees. We get to the hotel about a 15 min Walk away at 2 am. He just leaves me, doesn’t make sure I get to the room okay, because he in his words “has to go back to his friends” this upsets me a lot because I was feeling anxious and sick and it was 2am I just wanted to cuddle up together and enjoy the start of my birthday. I ask him not to leave but he dose anyway. I get no calls or texts while he’s out apart from at 4am to let him in the room. He gets into bed turns over and that’s it.
AITA for being upset over this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
kMruDoj4XOowHMmgoXaNVae3noD4DsJ7 | ac2j0u | {
"description": "getting upset when my girlfriend talked to the man who raped her",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for getting upset when my girlfriend talked to the man who raped her | My girlfriend was raped by a close family friend about a year ago (i was dating her at the time). She refused to press charges or make anything of it because she didn't want to cause divides between their family. Since then she has avoided all events that he showed up to.
My girlfriend and I went to a New Years party. Before going I asked her to get a guest list to make sure he wasn't coming. She did, and he wasn't on it. When we showed up at the party he was there. I expressed the desire to leave because 0% of me wanted to be in the same room as him, and I didn't want my girlfriend to have to re live any of that.
She told me I was being silly and promised me she'd stay the hell away from him.
Later on in the night he came up to her. I walked up and straight up told him to get the fuck away from her. She told me not to make a big deal of it and continued talking to him.
I understand that she's a victim, but to me this is still a huge betrayal. This man has no respect for her, for our relationship, for consent, for anything. I don't think I'm being unreasonable by not being okay with this. She claims that she got raped not me, and can therefore talk to him if she wants. If that's how she sees it, I can respect that, but I can't be in a relationship with someone who is rebuilding a friendship with her rapist.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
rdZMmpyqqZra12Ki4gwy82CLfxvnghd1 | b6cg16 | {
"description": "wanting my youngest sister to know what gay people are",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my youngest sister to know what gay people are? | So I’m 15F and out as a lesbian to my parents and other sister (13), as well as various relatives and friends. My parents are extremely accepting and amazing about it and I really appreciate all they’ve done for me.
My youngest sister is 9 years old and I’m talking with my parents about coming out to her in the next year or two. There’s no rush, there aren’t any real plans, but it’s on the radar for the distant-ish future. I may even postpone it until I have a serious girlfriend later in high school.
But the thing is, she has no idea what any of that means. I’m not looking to teach her any labels or terms, I just think it’s appropriate for her to know, in simple phrasing, that some men and women can marry each other just like mom and dad do, and it’s the same kind of love.
I’ve brought this up to my parents once or twice in pretty much the same wording I used above. They aren’t opposed to this idea, but seem to view it as something that would come further in the future. I think she should have this knowledge just as a reference point so that when I do come out to her in the future, she doesn’t find it weird and understands that I’m talking about romantic love, as in, someday I’ll grow up and marry a woman instead of a man, and we won’t just be _good friends_.
I should probably add that my sister isn’t _immature_ per se, but isn’t the most mature in the world. I think she can handle it, though. She’s logical and empathetic.
So AITA? Do you think this is a reasonable request of my parents, or is it not urgent? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Sb84UQIf65cQjQOUawg8FEniFHU6dN4r | aonebd | {
"description": "wanting to get my head checked to make sure I don't have a major concussion",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to get my head checked to make sure I don't have a major concussion? | My parents are normally lovely people and I wish this was a shit post.
So this morning I was walking the dogs and because everything was made of ice I slipped backwards onto the back of my head. I did not black out bit along with the headache I felt nausea and dizziness.
Still... I kept coherent conversation and my balance the rest of the dog walk. But my head did not stop aching until two hours after.
Now It's eight hours after and I have a throbbing headache. My friend told me I should go get it checked considering I'm Canadian and have it covered so I think "I should, at worst I just get knowledge of how to treat a concussion from somewhere other than webMD".
So I tell my parents I plan to do this. Some highlights.
"Don't expect me to wait several hours with you"
-after quick searching downstairs-
" If you were going to die from it you'd die before you could get to the hospital or die in the hospital"
" He's not going to die from it! You're kind of a hypochondriac (my name)"
I plan to walk or bus there and admittedly I am a bit of a hypochondriac. But of the two incidents that I suggested a hospital or doctor for, one was a cold induced nosebleed that lasted for almost an hour. The other turned out to be a condition that is abnormal for my age range. Granted that one could be treated at home and the other did stop before we needed to go to the hospital.
But seriously... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3E9PztK1JXYT4MWeYebO14dcFCIzaSD9 | ag8r7w | {
"description": "keying my shitty boss's car",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for keying my shitty boss's car? | So of course throwaway, altough my boss is a senior off all social medias, so no chance in hell he will ever see this. Happened 3 months ago, land of the free in a medium size town.
I (m 38) work as a dentist assistant. Worked the same place for 14 years, pay and work has been pretty nice for the last 13, before new owner came into our lives around 1 year ago.
This is the biggest dentists office in town, really no competition. 4 dentists, 2 secretaries, 2 dentist assistants. Boss is the 5th dentist.
Work environment have for a long time been cordial and nice. We are having lunch breaks together, and every 4 months or so a really nice barbeque with colleagues and their SO's. Really chill vibes.
Initially the new owner seemed nice, really positive and what at first i viewed as flirty in a charming "old guy" way (he is around 60, silver fox long hair, slim and tall, james bond kind of guy - i am not in love with this guy as i am happily married with 2 kids, but you know the kind of guy even texans could find charismatic).
So first 4 months runs smoothly from what i can see. 5th month, im starting to see patients coming out of this guy's office in minor distress (somewhat red faces, avoiding eye contact, at one point almost tearing up). Hard to notice at first, but one of the secretaries makes me aware of it, and then it is unavoidable to see. One of the old timers came out very angry, confided to one of the secretaries that "this guy have serious attitude problems". Turns out he had been really demeaning to the guy (sighing during work-up, rolling his eyes when asked questions, seemingly acting like the customers problems were ridiculous). I had a hard time taking the customer seriously, as he was basically fuming and ive seen my share of high demanding pricks trough my days. This happened multiple times through the months, most patients just didnt want to talk about it (a lot of these patients speek poorly english).
One day one of the secretaries tells me she has increasing amount of phone calls of people wondering about high bills. Turns out mister boss man is the one generating the higher bills. He does this in not an exactly illegal way, but highly unethical: he adds the most expencive materials (for the customer, not for the office - because of patents vs generica), he xrays the shit out of everything altough not called for, and so on. He is sweeping in probably per month around 3-4000 bucks this way, while really not adding to the treatment or his own costs. The customer takes the bill.
So a while back i came in from the kitchen as i see this guy is brushing into one of the secretaries asses. The secretary is a quite young girl new to the office, around 26 years old. He notices me and just stride along smiling, as nothing ever happened. The secretary is standing stiff looking bothered, her eyes down. I ask what's up, and she just breaks down in tears (luckily no patients in the waiting room). Turns out this guy has been making aproaches for weeks. She had told him she was happily in a relationship, but he didnt let of and had basically been saying 'good luck on getting another job here without moving out of state'. She didnt know what to do as she has not a lot of education and is really depending on a good reference if she were to move.
This shit pissed my right of. This guy have thrown this office out of ballance. However, he is the owner, and new owners in this part of the country is hard to come by. Legal actions against this guy would and should be taken, but the truth is it will fuck all of us up in some way or another.
Next days my passive anger kept on growing, and one night i snuck up to this guys house and keyed some good and deep fucking ripples into the door of this guys smooth ass black 2000's porsche 911 turbo.
Bossman came in red and flustered to the office the next day, couldnt stop talking of how shitty this town is and that he should have never come here in the first place. Got his car sprayed decently fast, and now its starting to chill down again.
So, am i the asshole here? I guess i am an asshole for not calling him out, but small waves here would have disastrous consequences not only for me. I am tempted to repeating this in some way. Of course i will have to be extra carefull as he now is probably on high alert. What do you guys think?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
NYbR1s1F2i2TplR94v9puvX41MoLovfW | adxe5c | {
"description": "calling the police on an intellectually disabled Neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for Calling the Police on an Intellectually Disabled Neighbor | This happened months ago.
A little background on my neighbor I find out after the first incident. The neighbor lives on the street behind me and we share an alley. I'm told by other neighbors that he has sever brain damage, lives alone, and is in his mid 50's. Let's call him John. John lived with his mother until she passed. The will stated that the house was to be sold and that money go to take care of John. John's brother decided rater than sell the house, he would "wait" John out and sell the house after John passed away. John is left alone in the house for weeks with the exception of when his brother visits to drop off necessities. John's brother has locked up any access to any utilities that may cause him or the house harm. John does not have a car and has to walk to the nearest fast food restaurant when he is out of food, which he walks to through the alley. John has also been known to walk around the front yard without any clothes on and leave pennies on neighbor's vehicles and fences for "good luck."
I should note that Adult Protective Services has been called multiple times and nothing has come of it.
the first time I encountered John was he was in the middle of one of our busier streets trying to control traffic with a shopping cart while picking up change. I slowed down and want around him making sure I was as far away as possible just like all of the other cars.
Later that night my wife and I go out to eat and when we pull up to the driveway, we hit a bump. when I got out of the car, I should see a large concrete block that had narrowly missed my car. The impact point showed that it came from the direction of the alley. There was also various sticks that were thrown over too with some smaller stones. No damage, but concerning as It was a foot from going through my windshield.
I know what you're thinking..."what makes you think it is John?"
When I stepped into the alley, John's shopping cart was parked next to my garbage cans. There was not only stick and stones in my recycling bin all of the sudden, but fast food wrappers from the restaurant nearby he frequents.
Ok no big deal. It's one time thing, I'll keep my eye out I guess.
A couple of weeks later I have rocks thrown over with sticks and the same stuff into my recycling bin. no shopping cart.
No alot I can do here, I leave it alone again.
A couple of more weeks pass and I'm doing lawn work when I here shuffling and mumbling in the alley. I look out there and sure enough John is hanging off my fence to get around a puddle of water. I say hello and close the gate. When John gets to my recycling bin he begins to mumble and stay there messing with the bin. I tell him to please leave or I'm going to have to call the police. I even told him that I'd give him 5 minutes to leave the area in case he was out of breath. 5 minutes goes by and I call police who intercept him at the end of the alley and I don't know the rest of the story. I haven't seen John since then.
Am I the asshole for calling the police on John given the entirety if the situation? I haven't seen John since this incident and I'm hopeful he finally got the assistance he needed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Gru9qYLpxxIa2f015Mon9cQaH4mHp24h | altsy0 | {
"description": "not feeding my dog every time she wants food",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not feeding my dog every time she wants food? | I'm aware dogs can always be hungry, but when I feed her a good portioned size and she starts licking and playing with the bowl like 2 hours later (a way to tell me she wants food), I start feeling bad because of those darn puppy eyes. I don't overfeed nor underfeed her, she's a perfectly healthy size for a GSD her age. I just feel like she's trying to guilt trip me into feeling like an asshole! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FT69b6VnyGakhBI1iNEBwEA8rVwkOy6W | b8n9bz | {
"description": "Making Cookies and teasing my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for Making Cookies and Teasing my Friend? | I am a lady, and have been good friends with a lovely couple for almost 20 years. Let's call them Jake and Barbara.
Jake is a computer programmer, and occasionally is a little 'off' in his social interactions. He fits the caricature really well. Barbara is successful in her own field, and gardens and bakes as a hobby. We get together to bake crazy things and have fun.
The weekend after Valentines Day, Barbara mentioned this beautiful 'Cookie Bouquet' she saw on a TV show (The Orville, for the curious). Jake was going to order it for her then decided shipping was too expensive. I told Jake I was going to make Barbara some cookies and steal his wife. It is a running gag that us girls are going to run away together. There was a group of six of us there, and we all laughed.
They left at midnight, and I started baking. By noon the next day I had made an absolutely gorgeous cookie bouquet. I joked with my husband that the funny thing about teasing Jake is that he actually thinks I am trying to steal his wife. I texted a picture to Jake and said "I hope you brought your A-game, cause I brought mine!" I texted Barbara as well, asking if I could come over. Jake was supposed to be out at a sporting event.
There was no response, so after about a half hour I phoned. To my surprise, Jake picked up. He said "You cannot come. You are causing problems in my marriage." I chuckled, but then froze. "Wait... like for real?" "Yes. For real." He then hung up on me.
I proceeded to have a full blown panic attack cause I am a bit of an anxious person, and assumed I had lost my friends forever. I did not contact them, but I was in a pretty terrible state.
Jake and I have since both apologized and made up, but talking to my friend I was surprised to find that he has forbidden her from even looking at pictures of the cookies. I have gone from being scared and sad to being kind of angry at this man and his issues.
Who's the ass here?
tl;dr - I made cookies for my girlfriend, knowing that it would tweak her insecure husband. He went full nuclear. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
JteCBeqp1eK0S0IjUP2SEpG37P0WIqPN | a2uje5 | {
"description": "being in two sexual relationships at once",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | WIBTA if I'm in two sexual relationships at once? | I've been doing online dating for a while without anything serious, then ended up meeting 2 interesting women during the same week. Woman "A" I was talking to for a few days before I started talking with "B" but I ended up meeting B first due to our schedules.
Anyway, the first date with B went really well but I already had a first date scheduled with A. I went on that date and also had a great time.
Over the next couple weeks I went on a couple more dates with each of them. Nothing sexual until finally 4th date with B we did hook up, and we have been together a few nights since. We haven't discussed exclusivity at all but still I feel kind of committed.
Now I've got another date scheduled with A and pretty sure it's intended to be sexual as well, already invited back to hers after we go out. Is there any non asshole way to also be intimate with her? Or is that just not possible? I feel like telling her I just started sleeping with someone else will be the end of the relationship, is that the only non asshole option tho?
BTW this is not about just having some sex.. I feel like both of these women could turn out to be long term partners. but I'm going to lose the chance with one of them just due to timing. Also in case it's relevant, everyone here is an adult. All 3 of us are divorced and have been dating around for a while. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
E0HCqfWGL2eo270obaGtDRrhoKiIouaS | a8cl2k | {
"description": "not liking my Secret Santa gift",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 36
} | AITA For not liking my Secret Santa gift. | AITA so the office where I work took us all out for lunch and a secret Santa gift exchange. About a week before the lunch we all pick a name out of a hat and that’s who you get a gift for. We also pick 3 things $20 or under that you would like and write them under your name on this list in the break room. We all do this. I asked for gift cards because they’re easy to get. On the day of the lunch, I know it’s a secret Santa but the person who got my gift brings me this big bag with these things to put your cell phone on your dash??? I pull it out of the bag and look at it like wtf? And I say to her what’s this?? And she says you don’t like it? I say didn’t you see the list? She says no. And I just walk away pissed off. I felt kinda bad I didn’t just say thank you but I got my person a $25 gift card so I was expecting the same. Anyway what y’all think??
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 36
} | WRONG |
TXbK8nvleUh969DydF4G5mslK4gGE7Qh | 9wd21y | {
"description": "planning to end my friendship with my friend who is getting too religious",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for planning to end my friendship with my friend who is getting too religious? | Just to begin, I want to make clear that although I am am atheist I respect and support people’s beliefs. As long as someone’s belief doesn’t harm anyone else, I’m fine with it
I’ve been friends with this girl in my group for around 6 years now, and she never used to be religious. She was fun and caring and friendly, super awesome friend.
In the last year or so she became very religious (she’s Muslim), she begun wearing a scarf and started praying and such. No problems here, if she wants to strengthen her relationship with God I support it
The problem started around the start of this year. She has slowly started become a bit more “hardcore”, if we all hang out together she’ll leave when it’s time for her to pray and go to an empty park or the back of a restaurant to do so. If we want to hang out at a restaurant (just for a nice dinner, we don’t really drink), she won’t attend because there is a bar/alcohol present. No one is drinking or forcing her to drink, it’s just the fact there is a bar present. She’s also beginning to refuse to carpool with us because we play music when we drive, which is apparently against her beliefs. She’s also started to not attend our birthday celebrations because there is music/alcohol present
My problem is really that I’ve invited friends and family to my birthday party in a month, it’s a buffet lunch kind of thing not a party, and she is refusing to attend. She insists that it’s not “her scene” and that there is a bar there and drinks will be served. Again, no one will be forcing her to drink, and I’ll have little cousins at the event also it’s not a rave or something
I take the fact she won’t attend my birthday quite personally, and I’m just over her pushing her religious beliefs on us and not supporting us if it doesn’t suit her beliefs. I don’t appreciate the fact that someone who is meant to be my friend would put their religion over me after all we’ve been through, just because there is a celebration happening with music and drinks happening
Am I the asshole if I end the friendship after this? (It won’t be just because of this one event, it’s kind of been building up to this, but this is the last straw for me) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mMBxtUwDBbpQVVuCluraqRedMESNb843 | a5nrbv | {
"description": "pushing getting a place together with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for pushing getting a place together with my boyfriend? | Im 18F and my boyfriend is 23M. Earlier this year our living situation changed and we've been kind of bouncing back and forth between his mom's couch, my aunt's place, and my mom's place. For context, we don't spend a lot of time at my aunt's because she lives a few towns over, about 30min drive away. We mostly stay in this area (near our mom's) because his work and my school is closer.
My mom's landlord said my boyfriend isn't allowed to stay over at all, so it's mostly been us on his mom's couch for a while.
I'm not working currently, but I have a 2nd interview at your favorite anti-beef fast food restuarant, and i go to university full time. He works in landscaping.
He makes $10 an hour, but doesn't really work a whole lot of hours. Some weeks are better than others, but his last paycheck was $40. I keep trying to push him to get a better job, but he gets almost angry at me. I know if he shops around, (landscaping and general labor pays big around these parts) he can be making hundreds of dollars a week. I don't know why he just doesn't.
But i keep letting him know how badly i want a place together. I hate sleeping on peoples couches and it makes me horribly depressed. It's kind of fuckin embarrassing and we have no privacy. I keep thinking if i let him know how much I just want our own space, he'll step up and fight for more hours at his job, or find one that will pay him a decent living. I was consistantly making more money than him at 8.50 an hour at a call center. I don't know why he stays there.
Im also coming into a bit of money from my grandmother's estate. Not a crazy amount or anything, but enough to easily cover first and last month's rent and security deposit on a place, and at least 1500 leftover for emergency savings.
I figure, if we really put our heads together and worked decent hours, we'd be able to easily afford a 1 bed 1 bath place. We live in a pretty cheap area and rent really isn't bad around here.
My aunt has tons of furniture leftover from my grandmother's old place that i know she'd be happy to move out of storage. (She talked to me about selling it) And i own a king mattress and a little TV so things like that arent an issue.
I know he's miserable like this, too. But i just dont know how to convince him that we can do this if he stepped up and took it seriously.
Another factor of this is, his lifelong friend and his mom is having a new house built, and this friend prematurely said we could stay in the guest room, saying he was gonna see if his mom would be okay with this after the house was built. I really hope he isnt counting on this since nothing is confirmed.
We had a serious talk about it today and he said "I dont know why you keep pushing this on me. We can't afford a place, we'd be barely scraping by. You'd hate it and we'd struggle and be thousands of dollars in debt and be right back where we were. We cant even afford $8 right now. Now i feel like the asshole because im just telling you no"
But now I cant help but feel like the asshole. I obviously upset him and now im questioning if this is even realistic. I feel like ive done my research but, fuck. I mean even if we both worked more its still a lot. Not only rent but utilities, food, car insurance, phone bill. Am i the asshole for unnecessarily stressing him out over nothing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Vso5JbbFsK6xSSdVN78HoMZxOx1IaIBy | aoxtyq | {
"description": "not wanting to walk with my girlfriend for graduation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to walk with my girlfriend for graduation? | I am eligible to be a Valedictorian while she is not. The problem is that non-Valedictorians can’t walk with Valedictorians, so I would have to leave her behind for another walking partner. We have a small number of friends so she will be stuck walking with somebody she doesn’t know very well, as will I. This is just the greatest achievement in my life so far and I feel like I should be able to walk as a Valedictorian. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
eivaHCZfsFTWafiFAna0iQFZaH6C48bw | b82wky | {
"description": "demonstrating what the pics of Joe Biden looked like on my bf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for demonstrating what the pics of Joe Biden looked like on my BF? | Back story, this isnt political, my bf and I are both Democrats and very interested in politics. I was reading the recent controversy over Joe Bidens rather close creepy contact and came into the room where my bf was playing a video game and mentioned the article and said I thought he'd be out as a viable candidate. The bf hasn't seen them and is a big Biden fan and said "it would be a woman that would say something like that" (yeah, he's a sexist).
Anyway, I say "no, no it's really creepy, like this" and I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and leaned in really close (while he was playing his game). And he lost his SHIT. Started screaming at me to leave him the fuck alone and how would I think that's okay. I literally had to leave the room because he was so angry at me.
So AITA? I thought it was a huge over reaction. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
rXoacLYyJFiZ8sHqJqzPklbKGONCUJ7a | ammb7m | {
"description": "refusing to see my critically ill grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to see my critically ill grandmother? | (Sorry for shitty formatting and writing, I’m on mobile)
So for context my grandmother is 82F and I’m 17F. Her health has been declining for the past few years and now she’s been getting blood transfusions about every 2 months and she’s been slowly but steadily getting worse. She’s also in what my brother (doctor) thinks is beginning stage dementia. I have anorexia and endometriosis, which sounds irrelevant but it’ll make sense later.
Anyways, on with the post. I love my grandmother, I really do. We had an almost perfect relationship for 13 years and ultimately she’s family and I love her. However, lately she’s been really getting under my skin.
It all started about four years ago when I first met my lesbian cousin. She began making comments about how she’s “Nice for a lesbian” “kinda fruity” “better than most of her people” and it really disturbed me. I’m gay, I’ve always been gay but always been terrified of telling her. This seemed to open the floodgates, because she began making more and more comments about gay people and becoming intensely homophobic. If I try and redirect the conversation she just brings it back or begins accusing me of ignoring her, so I’ve just begun retracting in conversation and don’t really initiate anymore.
Additionally, she makes a lot of comments about my body. She knows I struggle with anorexia and body image issues, but I can’t seem to win with her. When I lose weight she says I’m too skinny, and when do I gain she calls me fat and says I need to watch my figure. I’ve told her multiple times that it makes me uncomfortable, but she just brushes me off or accuses me of being too sensitive. She calls my anorexia “fake” and says I’m “looking for attention” and says that mental illness doesn’t exist, which sets off a whole new argument.
As she’s become more sick, she has been trying to encourage me to stop taking my medication because it “works for me” (it doesn’t) and starts accusing me of not listening to her when I try to redirect the conversation or refuse. At this point, almost every visit I’ve had with her in the past year has ended in tears.
She’s become more critically ill in the past six months, and only become nastier as time progresses. I’ve started refusing to visit her in the hospital because I can’t take being around her anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with coming away from every encounter crying and the awful feeling that comes with it. My mother has begun calling me selfish and a bad granddaughter and my aunt will barely speak to me. I’ve been getting texts and calls from my family telling me to see her and calling me selfish and cold hearted and I’m not sure what to do anymore.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to see her? Should I suck it up and see her? Is my family right? Should I stand my ground? Am I just a bad person? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KaZCN15MZAEet9eXNlK9zBCfTQpviRB7 | auwu4d | {
"description": "telling the truth to my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for telling the truth to my classmate? | There is a girl in my class, and she is just NOT beautiful. Everyone think so and everyone think that she loves playing-act. Try to show everyone that she is cute, but everytime she does it. Everyone think it is nauseating and myself almost vomit sometimes. And in today's morning. She asked every boys in my class if she was beautiful or not.
Almost everyone said nothing or shake their head. When she comes to my place and ask me that question. I shout "NO, YOU'RE NOT". I can tell on her face that she almost cry that moment, then she tell me that I am an asshole.
AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
v8m0GURaOC96heaocTT19jpzAtymZMdm | b55b5x | {
"description": "trying to sell my phone to my gf",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for trying to sell my phone to my GF | Background story: so my GF and I have been together for a little more than a year. We are very much in love and everything is going fine. She also broke af. She has a shitty phone that’s half working and can’t take photo at all. She’s the kind of person that is too kind, giving and giving to everyone everything, the type of person that you encounter very rarely.
So today, I had the news that I could have a new phone by renewing my phone contract. I have a very recent phone that is working perfectly fine, so I don’t really need to change. But I wanted to switch to sell to my GF the previous phone. I could easily sell it for at least 350$. So, I offered my GF to cut the price in half and sell it to her. She was shook by the concept of selling stuff to your SO. Is it?
I need some money but on the other hand, I want her to have a good phone. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
KpbxiApzKhjXjwTBjvqSM5qKX3nDHLwS | b4ah9o | {
"description": "supporting an asshole accused on harassment over my friend who accused him",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for supporting an asshole accused on harassment over my friend who accused him? | Honestly I can hardly believe this really happened myself, so I know it probably looks like a shp, but bear with me here.
So, my friend, let's call her Kallie, is on the debate team. There's this guy, let's call him Josh, that has a crush on her. I want to outline here that Josh is an asshole (he gossips, backstabs, and uses people to get what he want, and he's also *so* dramatic) and we've been snapping at each other since freshman year. However, and this is important, we're co-captains of the speech and debate team (he's in charge of speech, I'm in charge of debate). So we have kind of an uneasy peace going.
So, as it turns out, Josh decided to ask Kallie to prom. She tells me about this and is really mad. I asked why. Here's how our conversation went:
Kallie: Well, he asked me out before and I said no
Me: But that was at the beginning of the year. Anyway, what did you say to him then?
Kallie: I said I was just really busy and not looking for a relationship, maybe later.
Me: Well that isn't exactly the clearest way to say you have no interest... but what did he say this time.
Kallie: *shows me the text he sent her, and it says 'hey, I was wondering if you want to go to prom with me'*
Me: That's not that bad...
Kallie: He asked me out even after I clearly said I wasn't interested.
Me: *didn't think this would come up again, so I decided to drop it* Sure
But a few days later, Josh gets called to the principal's office for 'harrassment'. He says he didn't harrass Kallie in any way. Kallie says he did.
Now, I get dragged into this. Why? I'm Kallie's friend, and co-captain with Josh, and I have a pretty good rep with the teachers and principal, so they call me to ask for another perspective.
So I had to think about what to say. On one hand, Josh is normally an asshole, and Kallie's my friend. But thinking of it logically: Josh asks her out at the beginning of the year, she instead of being clear about her feelings just gives him a vague answer about being too busy and even says 'maybe later'. He then waits more than half a year without bothering her, and then politely asks her out to prom. That doesn't sound like harrassment to me.
So that's what I told the principal, and when everyone in the club asked me how I answered the principal, I was honest with what I said. Most people, including Josh, were happy, and most people said I was being reasonable. But a few people, including Kallie, were mad.
Don't get me wrong, I value my friendship with Kallie, but I honestly don't think Josh was harassing her.
Aita?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
PameCgz2Vpw2Pfn5UyMrdlvAhmRhRAjJ | aqqls0 | null | WIBTA if I wasn't there when my father died. | I was severely emotionally abused by my father my entire life, until I cut him off 18 years ago. My brother wasn't. Since then, we've spoken minimally when we were both at events related to my only brother's daughters.
He's 75 now, and if he has a prolonged death I will not be there. My brother will. I imagine this will be difficult for him and he could use some backup as end-of-life management drains energy quickly. The problem for me is any assistance I provide will also be assistance for a man who could die cold, naked and afraid in the ditch outside my house and I would do nothing.
Once he dies, I'll be there. I lift the lion's share of closing the "estate" and whatever else needs to be done. I'll handle all that so my brother can get back to his life. Note: We both live more than 1000 miles away from dear old dad and are absolutely financially stable. Either one of us could hire a shift of nurses/caregivers to cover 2/3 of the day.
Am I the asshole for not being there "for my brother" when my dad dies? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
B2FY239Ctsd5BA7u00YSngJEx86dblmg | an1lfq | {
"description": "disagreeing with my dude about our sex life on a constant basis",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for disagreeing with my dude about our sex life on a constant basis? | Alright ladies and gents, I’m here for some advice. My dude and I don’t see eye to eye on our sex life, and here’s why.
I have a high sex drive, I have always been like this. My dude does not. It’s few and far between when we actually have sex. And it’s not from a lack of trying on my side. He just isn’t as into it as I am I guess.
However, he has no problems with wanking it every single day. And then will give me shit if I do it. Obviously we don’t see eye to eye on this matter. So I would like to know...
AITA because it upsets me that he can wank it everyday but when it comes to having sex with me, it’s usually a no go.
All opinions are welcome, I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this and figure it out. TIA! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
pE7KcHdnswzs1ojdDOjeTdwEEwSBXD9g | aawoao | {
"description": "asking my wife to visit her OBGYN after we have been having trouble conceiving",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for asking my wife to visit her OBGYN after we have been having trouble conceiving? | As the totals suggests, I [28m] and my wife [27f] have been trying for a child for about 6 months. There are a couple factors at play here as to why we may be having difficulties, so my thought is to rule out as much as possible. She has a bleeding disorder and a family history of ovarian cysts, and I am a bit concerned about whether or not we will even be able to have children.
Yesterday, we found out that for yet another month, we were unsuccessful. In my frustration, I put my hands on my head and she immediately followed with “why are you making this about you?” I tried to explain that I was struggling with each month getting our hopes up and that she probably felt the same way. She didn’t want to hear my side and it ended in an argument about how I “make it about me.” I can understand how I could have put my feelings aside, but in the moment after hearing a “no” again, I was a bit distraught.
I followed up by suggesting that she go and get a check up. For the last 9 months she has been without insurance (quit her job to pursue a dream of hers, and has no benefits). I recently was able to get her on my benefits, and so this is a possibility. She is making the claim that it is her body, and that it is her decision. I can’t force her to go get checked up.
Her big Hangup is that doctors typically say that you need to try to conceive for 1 year before bothering them with any concerns of issues with pregnancy. We are at month 6. I suggested that my wife tell a white lie (how will they know when we started anyway?) in order to find out if there are any issues with her bleeding disorder, or cysts. She again reiterated that it isn’t my choice, and that she wanted to wait for a year.
Again, I am only hoping to rule out medical concerns for conceiving. I in no way an accusatory or think that it is “her fault.” Hell, the problem might even be me? But AITA for asking or requesting that she goes and gets a checkup for issues conceiving? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
rtxjPHhVFQrD62yIis8bMrtnU4wk2t0Z | az7lye | {
"description": "wanting to Grieve Over my Cat and not have my husband make it a Blame Game",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For Wanting To Grieve Over My Cat and Not Have My Husband Make It A Blame Game? | Im a 22F and my Husband is a 28M. About 6 months into dating I rescued a kitten someone found in a dumpster where I work (the apartment complex where we live). I tried to rehome him at first but the couple returned him to me after only 24 hours. I became too worried someone would dump him again so I decided to keep him. He grew into a gorgeous huge tabby cat.
My husband went out on the patio two nights ago and didn’t shut the door all the way and he got out. I told every resident that came in to keep an eye out for him and my office staff.
This morning I was driving up to the office and found him. My poor baby was stuck violently by a car. I immediately started hysterically crying. I called my husband bawling and told him. He was crying too. I parked with my hazards on until he walked to where we were I didn’t want him to get hit again. After work we are going to my parents home in the country to bury him. Several of my residents saw me sitting on the curb bawling and have come in to give their condolences.
He has apologized 100 times in the 4 hours we have known. I have told him it is okay. He texted me asking what he could do to make me feel better and I said, “honestly nothing will make it better, but it happened. I just want to spend this time mourning instead of talking about whose ‘fault’ it is. It is a horrible accident. I’m heart broken, but I just need space alone to come to terms with it”. He told me he understood. That is not apparently the case.
Instead of letting me spend my day alone at work, has come up here twice going on and on about how it’s his fault and whatever else and *again* asks me what he can do to make me feel better. I told him that him coming up here and doing the opposite of what I asked earlier is only making it worse for me. I am rather numb and emotionless atm so my calmness right now may be the issue.
He got super offended and started talking about how he’s never had a pet die before and I have (as if that makes it any easier for me?). It sounded like he wanted me to pity him and magically absolve him of the guilt he is feeling. I didn’t say much and just kept nodding. Then he said, “I guess we will forget he ever existed then” as if I was sweeping it under the rug and I told him to stop trying to make this whole thing about him. That it was “a really shit thing that happened, but I’m not going to keep entertaining this blame game. I want to mourn alone and bury him after work” and told him to please leave. He told me, “You don’t have to be such an asshole”. I didn’t even respond to that. I just went into my office and shut the door and he stormed off.
I understand he feels immensely guilty about this. However, he asked what I needed to cope and instead of doing what I asked he did the opposite and made me feel like the asshole. I’ve in no way made him feel like it was his fault, but now he’s mad at me? This is the first pet he’s ever had pass away. I get that, but am I really the asshole for this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Em1ASmS3FVkrVuk8H6n9y1VkuoYccADI | aexrqt | {
"description": "not continuing to help my ex through his abuse",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not continuing to help my ex through his abuse? | I met my ex through steam, and we very quickly become very close friends, and we both admitted that we had a crush on each other, and we were both around 13 at the time.
Not too long after that, he came out as trans to his family, and on Christmas, his father did the unspeakable thing that I will never forget to this day, which you can probably guess what it was.
I was devastated, and asked him to call the police, but he refused to. I continually begged him to call the police for months after that, and the situation continually escalated. He tried to kill himself many times and was even sent to a mental institution after he almost succeeded.
I did everything a 13 year old could possibly do. I talked to him constantly about how I loved him and wanted to help him. I tried to help him think of places to hide. I sent him a blanket and emergency food when they started kicking him out in the snow. I talked to him through all of his emotional breakdowns. I sacrificed every free moment of my life to talk to him and help him through his situation.
But the situation kept escalating to a point where every single day for a month he’d have a breakdown and I would do my best to comfort him and convince him not to harm himself. I kept on begging him to call the police, but he wouldn’t. He eventually lied to me that he called the police and said his father went to jail, but fessed up after he got drunk one night. At this point, I was continually having breakdowns because I wasn’t able to get him out of his situation, and I went into a really bad state of depression due to my father trying to get in contact with our family again and making my mom go to court.
At this point I was 15, and was just tired of trying to help. Nothing I did improved the situation. We ended up breaking up, and kept trying to be friends. It didn’t work out, and I ended up blocking him because I couldn’t deal with the emotional stress anymore, and I told him that I hoped he would get help.
I tried to talk to him recently, because I wanted to reconnect and see if he got help. I asked him to please not ask me for help when something happens, because I had already done everything I could to help him. He said that I was being very selfish, and that he had nobody else to talk to about it. I’m still trying to get over what happened, and it’s wrecked me emotionally. We’re both 16 now, am I an asshole?
Note: He lives in a different country than me, if I was able to call the police for him, I would have a long time ago.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
o0hxLoDALNkH89iSkkesoCyNhfnKN37e | aq7wir | {
"description": "not asking what was wrong",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not asking what was wrong | I'm on mobile so bare with me
G=girlfriend f=friend
So here is some backstory, we had a relationship and I put my effort in and it didn't always work and I was already wanting to break up because I had a suspicion that she was cheating
So this happened like a month ago and I felt kinda like a jerk. I and my G had a good run it was a bit over three months, I went to a program for people to get work done and I and some friends went because we had a lot of work to do. So skip a little while add I realize that my G was here and I waved her down. She then ignored me and I just let it go since I was going to break up anyways. A little time goes by and we get finished with some work when she comes over and says I don't want to break up can you do it then I just say "I want to break up" she then walks away to her 'friends' which were more guys that wanted to get with her. When the event ends she comes over and this is how it goes.
Ex g: hey do you want to try again
M: no I don't really want to try again it wasn't working out
G: well you didn't ask what was wrong before we broke up you saw I was sad
M: (I didn't notice she was sad) sorry i didn't notice
G: she then walks away
The program ends and my friends watched the whole thing. No one commented on it but after it ended me and my f went to go get sushi (which was delicious) and him being a good friend already helped me get over it
So AITA for not asking what was wrong I felt bad for not and I want to know of I was or not | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rnCHvlYOs8wczFDP3mxCIJD6gsNW95x7 | a2f15x | {
"description": "not giving my friend a ride",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not giving my friend a ride? | Basically, I was supposed to go to a parade with my friend.
My friend sent me a text yesterday saying that their parents aren't able to drive them there, so they needed me to pick them up (Were both 15. We don't have a driving permit and sometimes my parents drive us and sometimes their parents drive us. No big deal)
But my dad is in town, and I really hate him. My family was supposed to eat out, and then take me to the parade, but then my friend texted me, and I said no,so we canceled it. I told them that we can't drive them, so there's noway we can go, but the truth is that I'm embarrassed that my friend would meet my dad, because the way he acts and he barely speaks English.
We are looking for something to do next weekend, so we're Stil friends as far as I know, but AITA?
TL;DR
I refused to give to give a ride to my friend because I'm embarrassed by my dad so we canceled our plan | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
LcqVpX11ow8YcqZQ8AMpcPXGwFjsNDnd | a179od | {
"description": "choosing myself when friend is having a hard time",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for choosing myself when friend is having a hard time? | I am doing a fulltime internship to graduate, doing homework in the evening and dealing with the aftermath of ptsd. I take it slow, plan one or two times a week to meet friends and family. If I do more then I have energy for, my body protests by a panic attack and throwing up. I watch myself, am doing fine 90% of the time and have started therapy again cause I noticed I still have triggers I would like to overcome. I can manage this internship this way because I take it slow, they assist me, are very understanding and I can work from home if I want.
One of the things that trigger me is unexpected touching and someone claiming my attention or demanding my time at the moment when I am already very busy or in a not phone friendly environment. That is just rude behaviour, in my opinion..
This one friend kept pushing it, called me multiple times while I was driving, making me think there was a death (family of mutual friend was hospitalised day before). I tried to call her back but couldnt get a hold of her. She had said in a groupchat to call her immediatly. So I blurted out, ‘glad someone is not death, I am very busy today’(as I was having a busy day with family) when she did answer over chat. Apparantly she was having a really bad time herself but had already planned to meet up with mutual friend and spoken on the phone to two other people.Before I left home I had told them about my busy day and that I wouldnt be available.
This friend has pushed my boundaries multiple times, she is one of those people thats hit you out of the sudden in a playful way. I asked her to not do that to me cause I can react badly to being touched like that, even from friends or family. She would have heated arguments when she and boyfriend where over(at my place), made me and everyone uncomfortable so asked her to tone it down til they got home or take it outside. I dont like being around people screaming at eachother, I dont like fights, I freeze or panic as I am still working on it. I am not telling her how to live her life, I just asked her to keep me in mind as I work on myself.
Now she and boyfriend broke up, she expects a lot more from me and mutual friend. Today we had an argument over the phonecalls and my reaction and she said that I abandond her and is hurt. And that I put her problem in a bad context by asking if someone had died. I am having a hard time seeing it from her point of view. All I want is peace and quiet and graduate succesfully. I feel like I didnt abandon her because I knew she had spoken to 3 other people and I did try calling her back. She said it was unclear to her that I wasnt available, I dont know how that was unclear cause mutual friend did know this from the same group chat and I told her personally as well. She then said I got more from the friendship then she did and I have no idea what that means? I did not tell my friends most of what happend to me, when I felt rock bottom depressed I got help from professionals or called my assigned buddy. So I never ‘claimed’ someones time and would never do so.
I cannot tell her how to deal with this break up, I do wish she was more independent, it would be better for her own happiness as well. I am not saying she cant grieve or talk to me about the break up, she does and I have seen her two times the week of the phonecall to let her vent. One of those times I got a panic attack she witnessed.
I tried to not get in on the argument as I was at work at the moment and didnt have time. I tried to be as nice as possible but lost it when she started making those weird accusations and telling me what I should have done.I know I am not as good as a friend as she needs for now, but I do all I can.
So now she has broken up the friendship, honostly I dont feel that bad. But id like to know if I did the right thing, my vision is blurred cause I know I can be tense over the boundary thing, its just what I need to do. Am I a bad friend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9ShjNQQxmYDCqEFvNpwD9l3Cd5Jl0gcZ | ar00d9 | {
"description": "rolling through a stop sign in a residential dead end neighborhood",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for rolling through a stop sign in a residential dead end neighborhood? | I live in a quiet neighborhood development a few houses down from a dead end/cul-de-sac. Just before my house is a stop sign where another dead end road intersects. No one ever drives down these streets unless they live here or are visiting and since almost everyone in the neighborhood works, it’s very quiet during the day (no cars).
This morning, I was driving back to my house after dropping off my kid at school. I passed a pedestrian taking a walk on the side of the street and slowed as I passed him even though I was already going slowly. About 100 yards past him, I came to the stop sign. I slowed to an almost-stop, looked in all directions, and of course no other cars were coming, so I did a very slow “rolling stop” and then turned into my driveway. I glanced into my rear view mirror and suddenly saw the pedestrian waving his arms and screaming at me, basically chastising me for not coming to a complete stop.
Am I really the asshole for not coming to a complete stop? The guy was so furious I thought he was going to knock on my door afterwards. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
k4hpOis8KMjuXrPHU6k44N1ZAUaXkqxy | a5pxod | {
"description": "calling someone very colorful words after they lead me on and left me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for calling someone very colorful words after they lead me on and left me? | Pretty sure this is gonna land me a nice, smug spot on r/niceguys but whatever
So back in high school, I had a friend, let's call her Rose. We were generally close, and often went to each other for emotional support. Being an awkward autistic single high schooler, I was generally insecure about my relationship status and virginity, sentiments I shared with her (this is important later). I also had a pretty big crush on her, but she had a boyfriend, and I respected their relationship, because that's the right thing to do.
Eventually Rose's relationship with her boyfriend, started to get bumpy, and I was a shoulder to cry on many a time. I still had that crush on her, but I had the sense to know that it was wrong and disrespectful to try and get with her at that point.
We remained friends, then one day she came to me complaining about getting ghosted, and then said "I'd rather date you tbh" and proceeded to go on about how cute and funny I am and how I'm all she can think of.
We proceeded to flirt for a bit, occasionally getting a bit nsfw, but it never went past that. So one day, I asked her when we were gonna go steady. She said she wasn't ready for another relationship after our last one, but promised we would get together eventually. I understood that and told her I would wait as long as she needed
A few days later her facebook feed was full of gushy shit about her new boyfriend (not me). I was confused as all hell, and tried to ask her what's up (I feel I gotta insist I was rational and calm, I didn't come at her angry at this point, I just wanted to know what happened to her promise).
She read my message, and didn't respond. I waited a bit, still no response. I asked a mutual friend if she knew what the deal was, and Rose almost immediately messages me, angrily asking why I asked the mutual friend.
I told her why, and reiterated that I wanted to know what was up. She responded that it was stressful to date people from the same school, and swiftly blocked me before I could ask any further questions
Now at this point I was a mixture of depressed, and disappointed I felt used, like I was some sort of pseudo rebound that waa tossed away with no remorse for how I felt. I felt particularly insulted because not only did she know about my insecurities, but that we were very close friends, and there was nothing but trust between us up untill now.
My depression slowly devolved into anger, but I never got the chance to talk it out with her. I avoided her from then on. Eventually a few months latwr I told another mutual friend about what happened and how I felt, and how I was still upset about it.
Without either of our permission, she made a group chat and put both of us in it, and left, leaving us alone. She proceeded to ask me why I still cared.
That was the last straw for me. She knew how much she hurt me, and had the audacity to imply I was in the wrong for being hurt and upset.
I lost it, calling her a cunt and a whore before leaving the group chat, hoping I'd never speak to her again. She proceeded to post our conversation in an attempt to expose me. Normally I avoid using language like that, but I was so hurt and upset I lost all control
It was pretty fucking embarrising to be put on blast like that, but luckily very few people saw or cared. One person was neutral, and the mutual friend who set up the group chat sided with her.
We eventually apologized to each other, but we still aren't on speaking terms. I have her blocked on all social media with no intention of seeing her again in my life.
Now I know it's the whole "you're not entitled to date her, you're not entitled to a response/explanation" but I will vehemitley defend my position that if you make a promise, any promise to someone, and you break that promise. They should know about it. To break a promise, not tell them, and ignore them after they ask is super insulting and disrespectful
Am I the asshole? This whole situation is similar to ones I've heard on r/niceguys and r/creepypms and I'm kinda upset I'm a piece of shit like them. I later learned that she cheated on her bf, but honestly that sounds like me trying to justify what I did in my head.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
vfT4feMlpRjkspcKMkVMDa4uu3N5IITa | aqf2sf | null | AITA - Friend being Secretive | Hello everyone! This is my first post to this sub-reddit, actually first post to reddit ever (excluding dumb stuff), so go easy on me.
&#x200B;
Anyway, so I have this good friend who we'll call Candice. So Candice and I essentially talk all the time in Bio class, when we pass by each other we always say hi or start up a conversation, used to text all day on the phone, and she's pretty cool! (also, no feelings for Candice, she actually has a boyfriend so we're just good friends). So one random day, Candice stayed after Bio class with two other people, so I naturally asked what they were doing. Although, she said they were doing something that I couldn't know about, well actually she said I can know about in September. I thought she was joking, but she was actually serious and really doesn't want me, or apparently anyone for that matter (other than the two people she's working with) to know about it. About the two people Candice is working with, one of them she's good friends with but the other she doesn't talk to nearly as much as me, and I think she sometimes get annoyed by him too. So I am slightly hurt/offended by her not telling me the secret she has while telling some other people who I think one of them isn't as good of friends to her compared to me. I also asked the two other people, and they said that they don't think it's that big of a secret (and are only keeping it a secret because Candice wants to) and has something to do with science and college. So, am I the a\*\*hole for being offended/slightly angry at her for not telling me? I know we're just friends, but I'd think she would at least tell me something that apparently isn't that big of a deal. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
Z7gnJAHqzBzKBQaY86daiaeLa52BnK3h | b719tx | null | AITA My Gf is mad at me because my Friend try to set me up with another girl | (Shit format cuz mobile sorry)
My gf of almost a year refuse to talk to me for almost a week because my friend texted me asking if I was still in a relationship because she’s wants to set me up with one of her friends. I rejected and joked about it and that was the end of that. However my gf found it unacceptable that I received that offer and is specially mad that I joked about it after. She had a coworker ask her out before she rejected but however still talks to and hangout during breaks together even after I expressed discomfort about it but she said he’s just a friend and wouldn’t try anything else. I’m generally a very laid back person so I didn’t care too much about it. However this situation seems a little hypocritical (sorry if this is in the wrong sub) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
d4Q4idrXG9nunlL6auS48PhLuL9uQpkW | b1srz4 | {
"description": "telling my niece she looks like my sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling my niece she looks like my sister? | My niece is visiting from out of town for a few days. When I first saw her at the airport, I thought it was my sister. It’s surreal how much she looks like her.
So I told her that she looks like her mom, and my niece was... horrified? She said, “But I don’t want to look like her!”
Over the course of the visit, a couple of times I repeated my observation, and she denies any resemblance every time.
The reason I put horror in quotes is because my niece could be possibly pretending to be upset at the resemblance because she thinks it’s funny. I have a hard time gauging whether she’s being serious or not.
In any case, the more she protests, the more I want to remark on the resemblance. So even though she’s acted whatever way she acted, I still do it.
I wish this went without saying, (but unfortunately you have to specify nowadays), but my sister’s not abusuve or anything. She’s actually a great mom. So it isn’t because my niece hates her mom or anything that she’s saying she doesn’t want to look like her.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
vA6JwIAH30uKi1ogAb6d5otTQpA4WNjB | b6qryz | {
"description": "asking my so to get a paternity test",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for asking my SO to get a paternity test? | I think I fucked up but I'm still confused.
&#x200B;
Okay so my girlfriend (F22) and I (M22) were talking, and it came up that she was late. This is no issue, it happens. We've been together for 4-ish years now, but we've been long distance for a few months. I know she's (almost certainly) not pregnant, and I know she wouldn't cheat on me.
&#x200B;
The last time we had sex was right around Valentine's day. She's not on birth control, but I wore a condom and didn't finish anyway. (I know pregnancy is still possible under these circumstances, but again, I feel it's unlikely.) Here's where things get kinda convoluted so you'll have to stick with me. She was also late last month, after we had had sex. She's been going through a lot with school lately and these things happen when she's stressed. I thought she said that she had taken a pregnancy test and it came up negative. I learned later, after this argument had started, that she had actually said her period came and that's how she knew she wasn't pregnant. I was wrong about this detail at first, which informed the following decision.
&#x200B;
I said, just as a side comment, that if she turned out to be pregnant, I would want a paternity test. She got super upset and said I was accusing her of cheating and that I didn't trust her. I said trust never entered my mind, I just figured that was the thing to do. This was also when I realized I had misunderstood her earlier about any prior tests. This was multiple phone calls and lots of her crying and me trying to explain why I didn't mean anything by it.
&#x200B;
I was operating under the belief that we had sex, she then had a late period and wasn't pregnant, but then a month later she took another test and was pregnant. From my point of view, if she found sores on my wang that weren't there before, she would be right to question that. And I would understand, even if I didn't cheat, because the possibility exists and there's no reason to be less than 100% certain. I realize this doesn't exactly translate, because you can't test to see where STIs com from, but I think it's similar circumstances.
&#x200B;
Now I have a 3rd party friend politely telling me it was a dickish thing to say, but I guess I'm just not really getting it.
&#x200B;
Like if she was pregnant, I would still believe it was my kid, pregnancy tests can be wrong. I just think it's reasonable to verify it. For me it's not a matter of trust, it's just the thing you're supposed to do. Is she reading too much into it or am I being a dick? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
9Cpsp2YyCh8vKOJ8otfktUzUhgOq57wW | aozw31 | {
"description": "getting mad my so because he won't stop watching me do chores",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad my SO because he won’t stop watching me do chores | Specifically what I don’t want him to watch me do is wash dishes, although other cleaning chores cause a similar issue. It’s not that he can’t be in the same room as me while I do it but I don’t like it when people just stand there and watch. I’ve told him many times the specific reason I don’t like this is because my abusive father used to use dishes not being done to his standard as an excuse to exact abuse. He would find any spec real or imaginary. So when someone stands over my shoulder and watches me today as an adult it causes an involuntary stress response. I asked him to just walk away for a few minutes and he refused. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore and left the room he followed me and told me if I knew this problem was coming from me then it was on me to deal with it and I had no right to get mad at him over it. I feel like asking someone to not stand there and watch me do something is not some huge request and should have been simple to comply with. I feel like he was just being stubborn for the sake of it. Was I an asshole for getting mad? What is the appropriate response from my side? Or how should I have handled it better? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3oa6PZKakPR8NSth1Da4XCWlgZ4kUuOJ | 9ysceh | {
"description": "threatening to sue my parents for taking out student loans in my name",
"pronormative_score": 168,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for threatening to sue my parents for taking out student loans in my name? | I graduated college 4 years ago and I rarely speak to my mother or father. Maybe 2-3 times a year and even then it’s only for a few minutes, they refused to let me play sports in high school or have a social life and they’ve basically cut me out of their lives since I and about 75 other people got a city drinking ticket 7 years ago in college. Since I live about 800 miles away, I only go back to my hometown once a year either for Thanksgiving or Christmas, most years I stay with a friend or at a hotel, last year I stayed with my parents. No way in hell am I going back for either this year.
Just about 5 months before I graduated college, my parents bought a boat. I know they got a good deal on it and they have used it a lot. They took it out of the water for the season in early October. I’ve literally never seen it in person, just pictures from Facebook.
Last week I had texted my father (first contact since March) and let him know I would be able to make it back for Christmas. About a minute later he called and over the course of 5 minutes explained how he and my mother decided since their last child was about through college, they would buy a boat. The only problem was they didn’t have the ~$20,000 to buy it.
What was their solution? Take out a student loan in my name of course! My mailing address was always their house through college so I was none the wiser. Why was my dad telling me about it now 4 years after the fact? Because they can’t pay it back, they actually never paid any of it back. They kept putting it in forbearance but that ran out early this year. Fast forward 7 or 8 missed payments later and my dad tells me the only reason he’s telling me now is because he doesn’t want me to bring it up at Christmas and he knows it’s going to default in a month or two. His exact words were “If you’re going to make a big deal about this it’s best if you don’t come home this year”.
He also said it’s “about $25,000” is what I would need to pay it off. I hung up and just sat in shock for a couple of minutes. I called my brother yesterday and told him what was happening and that I think I’m going to sue them for whatever it takes to pay off the loan. I still don’t know what that amount is yet, I should probably find out by next week. I’m cool with my brother and he’s cool with my parents and I’m sure he probably talked to them because this morning I get a text from my mom just saying “Do NOT sue us”. I texted her back saying she would need to immediately pay off the entire loan and show me proof. She texts back that I need to grow up. Obviously I’m not even going to respond to that.
The boat is probably worth half of what they paid for it by now and with the hours they’ve put on it. I don’t know if they have the money or not to pay up immediately if I sue them but I figure I can at least garnish their wages. My other brother called and asked me to hold off a few months before doing anything that it was shitty of them to do that but to give them a chance to start paying if off.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 168,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 168,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
cIEX4O0YtWcwJTtY37fnhKjyqzDzYn9B | aqte3z | {
"description": "being disappointed I didn't get valentines day sex",
"pronormative_score": 47,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for being disappointed I didn't get valentines day sex? | So, my wife and I don't get to see each other very much due to the hours we both work, we get about 2 hours together after I get home at night, so I really value my time with her.
So, tuesday afternoon, she sends me a text saying she'd like to have a date night thursday, which is my day off and conveniently also valentines day. I would cook a nice dinner and we would have some...ahem...private time...
So, today I vacuum, do the dishes, pick up dog toys, etc. I say that because she has said before that having the house clean when she gets home will help her unwind and get in the mood. Dinner is almost ready when she got home, and the second she got in the door, I wrapped my arms around her, grabbed her butt and gave her a deep kiss.
She smiled, looked around and commented on the clean house, then went and put a sweater and pyjama pants on.
This surprised me, but I didn't say anything, since maybe she wanted to relax and eat dinner first. So we watch Lucifer while I finish cooking dinner(homemade chicken parmesan), we eat dinner and then...nothing. An episode ended right after we finished eating and she picked up the remote and hit play for the next episode, then the one after that, which she fell asleep near the end of. So I just helped her to bed.
I'm hurt and disappointed that she put no effort into the date night that was her idea.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 33,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 47,
"WRONG": 8
} | RIGHT |
e3uGiwcuA4xmYNMbKUV8zFVx0qWMGtAJ | b1uaw4 | {
"description": "not standing my best friend's obsession with Queen anymore",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not standing my best friend's obsession with Queen anymore? | Me and my best friend have known each other for 4 years and we've gone through a few phases. For some reason, most of the things we liked overlapped at some point, but she tended to be the first to get into them.
Lately, I've been really into Sherlock and she was really into the series as well a few months ago, but now she only talks about Queen. I also really like their music, but she's like... Obsessed, they're the only thing she talks about, besides boys she likes.
It wouldn't be much of a problem if it wasn't for how she has acted in the past.
Last summer I casually ended up watching an F1 race and I absolutely fell in love! It was the best thing I'd ever watched and it quickly became my biggest passion. I did talk about it a LOT and she did anything she could to kinda bring it down.
No biggie, we could talk about Harry Potter, which we both liked.
One day we all decided to go out for ice-cream or something and the first thing she said was: "Ok guys. No talking about F1, nor Harry Potter today."
I looked at her a bit confused, but I thought it was kinda fair, since I did talk about those things a lot. I figured it was annoying to her and brushed it off, nodding periodically as she ranted about the guy she liked.
It was not the last time she did a thing like that, because EVERY TIME we went out after that, she'd repeat the same thing. She was also getting out of her HP phase so it was really useful for her, but it killed conversation for me.
So, after Bohemian Rhapsody came out, her love for Queen finally bloomed. I wasn't really worried, because I liked the band as well, so I figured we could talk about something that we both liked, for once.
As we went on, it became pretty annoying. As in it was the ONLY thing she'd talk about and since I didn't care much about the singers themselves, it was essentially just her rambling about Roger Taylor and going on and on about how cool he is and all that.
Since I'd acted like that too, I didn't care.
We RP sometimes, so she decided to start a RP about Queen. I don't RP much these days, but okay cool, I'd just have to do a cringey self-insert where she'd be perfect and all the characters would be OOC. Whatever, I enjoyed the memes I made through it. (The RPs would be centered about her and her current love interest, making the actual plot pretty much shit.).
We'd been RPing Queen for a few weeks about every night at one point, and I felt like RPing Sherlock for once. I thought she wouldn't mind.
She refused, which was what made me mad. We only talked about Queen, she'd always have her way with stuff, she never let me talk about what I liked and the one time I wanna do Sherlock, she refused.
After that I always got pissed when she spoke about Queen and, though I haven't said anything about it to her (She'd just back stab by saying I do the same thing with F1, or would get mad and say stuff like "You're right, whatever" and think she's right.) I can't really stand it anymore. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
go25jsPc0UHgVHTXTL3GLWxGGdKLv1qv | b2ukt9 | {
"description": "standing up for myself at work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for Standing Up for Myself at Work? | I work at a place on the overnight shift. There are a few people at this place that honestly should have been fired years ago. A little information, I work at a place that has two separate buildings. I am in the second building and this person called Joe is in the first building. I've been warned about how lazy Joe is, and I've seen some of it.
So tonight I get in at midnight and check in at the front desk to be logged in. I see he is asleep at the front desk. (for overnight shifts, sometimes people sleep but not until 3 or 4 when all the work is done). I go to my spot in the second building.
Around one in the morning I am told I had to get something for someone in the first building. The second person in the main building is older and can't go up and down steps well. the materials I had to get were downstairs. I go into the drawer next to joe, grab the keys and get the stuff. Im irritated at this point. Why was I called over when he was just as capable of doing this? He was awake at this point, I would like to add, and watching something on his laptop.
I go back upstairs after locking up and put the keys in the drawer and look him in the face and calmly say, "If someone else needs this item, you need to get it. I'm not walking back and forth between buildings like this all night." He looks at me as though I just cussed him out.
"Who do you think you're talking to?" He yells. I walk out, not wanting to have started an argument. I thought he was just going to shrug it off and ignore me like he usually does to people. He keeps calling after me like that until im outside. I walk back to the second building and see my friend/coworker in her car and stop to talk to her and tell her how frustrated I was. She thought it was funny and was glad I told him that. Until he comes over.
He rushes me, screaming "who do you think you are? you don't talk to me like that, don't disrespect me like that, you don't yell at me and slam them keys." I calmly tell him he needs to calm down and he doesn't get to talk to me like this. He continues going on and on and screaming at me about he wasn't the one who called me over. Which I knew but I don't understand why the person sitting right next to him, never told him to do it, but called me over.
Im now shaking and on edge. I was scared. I didn't know what the hell was going to happen and I'm scared to be alone with him especially off camera. I emailed my boss and the person in charge of this section of the organization. At first I felt justified, but now I am scared that maybe I was in the wrong. I never slammed the keys, and I never rose my voice, even when he was screaming at me. My coworker told me to tell my boss what happened. He has no business talking to me like that. I didn't mean to start a fight. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
X7hj19bzhyTfDNzd5bJyYnL11f36HLIT | b5q5pa | {
"description": "having a fake Instagram to check up on my ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for having a fake Instagram to check up on my ex-girlfriend? | CONTEXT: I made the account over a year ago when the girl I had dated for about 2 years unexpectedly blocked me on IG. Yes, we had broken up but we were on good terms and I thought she was hiding something.
I’m now with an incredible woman who I hope to someday marry but she can get very jealous. I told her about the account from the start and even gave her complete access to it. She seemed to only go on it to see if I had and what I was doing and brought it up now, a year later, accusing me of still caring about my ex because I look at her page from time to time.
I don’t see anything wrong with it, she follows her exes on Instagram and it doesn’t bother me.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
H0RG7vFq5U2YwkyaEi0WiurrPDZvr631 | aie4ip | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for a birthday present",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for a birthday present? | Okay so, I’m 17 and attending high school, a girl in my class (we’ll call her S) has a birthday coming up and another girl in my class set up a group chat with every girl in the class and announced that we all had to bring in €10 to go towards getting airpods for S’s birthday. For a bit of background: I go to a very small school and in my base class there’s 15 people, of those 15, 10 are on this group chat, so €10 X 10 people=€100 which is enough for the airpods. Anyways, I’m not a cheapskate, I don’t have a job but when a friend or family member has a birthday coming up, I save whatever I have to get them something nice. I would have no problem getting S a present if we were friends or even if she was having a party and invited me but really, I barely have any classes with her and we seldom talk. Why should I be putting money towards a gift for her then? because we don’t talk I didn’t think to invite her to my birthday party last year and obviously she didn’t get a present for me. I really don’t think I should have to give the €10 as seen as S and I aren’t friends but I feel like I’m going to look like a cheap Asshole if I just leave the groupchat. I’m really not sure what to do. Do I scrape together whatever I have to give money towards a gift for a girl I barely talk to? Or do I leave the group and risk looking like TA to the rest of the girls?
So again, AITA for not wanting to pay for this gift?
This is my first real post on Reddit like this so please excuse me if it’s long winded or not in the right place. Also feel free to ask questions if I’m not being clear, thank you :) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DnApf9RgUl5Eo6SvxnqZmo1RMu020iKb | b95l2d | {
"description": "telling my roommate that she doesn't care about her job",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for telling my roommate that she doesn't care about her job? | My roommate recently started a new job, so we've had to start coordinating usage of the bathroom/shower in the morning. I used to finish getting ready around 8:00, and we agreed that now I would try to finish at 7:40 so that she could get ready after me.
The other day I woke up at 7:35, so I skipped my shower because I knew I wouldn't finish by 7:40. At 8:05 she was still in her room, so I knocked on her door and she answered in her PJ's and said "I discovered a way to knock 30 minutes off my commute, I can uber to X train station instead of taking the subway to Y." I thought it was a bit strange that she came to this epiphany in bed at 7:40 in the morning, but I didn't say anything. Then basically the same thing happened the next day, so that night I told her I didn't appreciate it.
After we argued for a bit I said "It seems like you making it to your train is important enough for me to wake up early, but not important enough for you wake up early." At this she got extremely offended, and said I was implying that she doesn't work hard or that she doesn't care about her job. She kept on saying "I'm sure that's not what you meant to say, I know you're tired right now," which really pissed me off because that IS what I meant to say, and it's objectively completely true - I mean if it was actually important for her to make her train then she would have woken up, right? I wasn't trying to imply that she was lazy or anything, I just put the facts out there and she chose to interpret them that way. I was trying to that she values her own time, sleep, and comfort more than she values mine, which is unfair. Anyways now she's really pissed at me. I know that I could have handled this a bit more tactfully, but am I really an asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
7em97WG7qIHoSuM94QZiX197SVuM00Je | auueh5 | {
"description": "snitching on my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for snitching on my coworker | Throwaway account, posting via mobile, I’m going to try to give enough information. This happened today.
I work at a daycare. My job is incredibly diverse, and we have kids, parents and staff of all walks of life. My bosses realize we all have lives outside of work, and as long as it doesn’t not affect our work, they don’t really judge what we do outside of our scheduled hours.
I have a 20 year old coworker who lives with her 20 year old boyfriend and their 2 1/2 year old son. Since we work at a daycare, her son is enrolled and is in my classroom, while she teaches in a different room. Both her and her boyfriend smoke weed. Her boyfriend more so than her, and is someone who smokes multiple times a day (no judgement here, my boyfriend is the same way).
However, the issue is, her son, or specifically her son’s lunchbox will sometimes smell like weed. I know she has been talked to about this three times: once by me, once by the other teacher in my room and once by another coworker who she is close with. None of these times management has been involved, however I do not know if outside of these three instances she has been talked to about it as well.
We keep all our kids lunchboxes in a locked floor cabinet. Today when I walked passed it I got a hint of something that smelt like weed. When I opened the cabinet the smell was definitely there and my coworker’s son’s lunchbox reeked. So today I went to the boss in private and said “hey the cabinet where we keep our lunchboxes smells like weed. I’d rather be the one to tell you before another parent says something. You can tell who’s lunchbox it’s coming from.” My boss proceeded to remove the lunchbox from the cabinet and store it in the office. I’m not sure if anything else was done.
At the time I was genuinely thinking it would be bad if another parent reported it. Now, after the fact, I’m feeling guilty and as though I snitched. I’m truly conflicted. Also after the fact I’m (selfishly) thinking I could have gotten in trouble if a parent would have said something. At the same time, I don’t even know if a parent would say anything. Also we are expecting a visit from state soon (if you don’t know what that means, think food/health inspector coming to a restaurant). I don’t know what would be the consequences if state smelt that.
At the same time, I don’t know what I would do if it was a lunchbox for a kid whose parent I did not work with. I’m upset I was put in a position and I don’t want to feel like I snitched. So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
iywB9HTel9Jfxm31Ui3iywEb0XTeljHT | b7ifra | {
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for saying he'd trade me for $2 million",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad (26F) at my boyfriend (37M) for saying he'd trade me for $2 million? | We were talking about movies and an Indecent Proposal came up. I told him I would never give him up or break up with him for money. He stayed quiet and then told me he wouldn't want to be broke though. Now it's awkward because I'm upset at a hypothetical situation and he keeps insisting that it's important to stay real and honest.
TL;DR: my boyfriend would trade me away for a decent amount of cashola | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9ntsAyADR1D9pRPcLTqcCYUBuND2fzhg | b6cbuo | {
"description": "not tipping pickup food orders",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not tipping pickup food orders? | Title says it all. If I’m picking up food at the restaurant, I don’t leave a tip because I feel at that point it’s like fast food. If it’s delivered or I eat at the restaurant, I always tip above 20%. So AITA or is that normal? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
29HsA8lkd4uY4YY49Eg2v7k62N221cGH | at7owx | {
"description": "thinking my alcoholic coworker should be fired",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking my alcoholic coworker should be fired? | My coworker has had addiction problems in the past which have gotten her fired from this job before. My work rehired her once they found out she was doing better. In the last couple months, she has started drinking again and it has seriously affected her work. She comes into work maybe three or four times a week for a few hours, but mostly works from home. No one else in the company is allowed to do this mind you. She took off this entire week without telling anyone because she needs to "work on herself". Instead of getting reprimanded, management is sending her flowers to get better. They asked me to order the flowers and I said I didn't want to because I'm really pissed. I don't see why she isn't being held accountable for her actions. Am I the asshole because I think she should be fired rather than coddled? Or should I be more empathetic? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hQ56DBWl29OHCBnAmxWkI8EGl2KdVmOb | azgibm | {
"description": "calling a woman ugly",
"pronormative_score": 50,
"contranormative_score": 52
} | AITA for calling a woman ugly? | I know what the title says but let me elaborate:
I was walking down the street and my phone got a notification. There was a woman in front of me who turned around and said that's disgusting. I was extremely confused so asked her why she was so offended and she said "Dont you fucking dare whistle at me like that". I initially tried being polite and explaining that it wasn't me and it was my phone, but she wasn't listening and started attracting some attention by swearing at me loudly. So I said "you're not attractive enough to be whistled at" quite loudly and walked away.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 50,
"EVERYBODY": 35,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 50,
"WRONG": 52
} | WRONG |
HRwPsRDHhFVTq86o8yGNETgcyrVirGMJ | b0sy6l | {
"description": "blocking my friend on snapchat for putting conditions on our friendship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking my friend on snapchat for putting conditions on our friendship? | So long story short, in real life I have trouble making friends because of autism and I made a friend in community college that I valued deeply. His family enjoyed my company (I think) and we had many memories together that I still cherish to this day.
However, we are from cultures that one can say are stereotypically opposed to each other. Never mind, that's a stereotype, correct?
The problem happened when the topic of a certain middle eastern hot button crisis came up. I was on one side and he was on the other. The worst disagreement was because of certain comments a woman made about a think tank and it came to the point where it became yelling in real life and over the phone.
One day he messages me and gives me an ultimatum; agree with him or get blocked. I blocked him.
This bothers me and I want to know, reddit, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3JNtU7ufptweKvASo3WCW4WBboHndxA7 | b2xgd7 | {
"description": "asking my insanely kind, yet terribly toning deaf, roommating to stop singing",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | WIBTA if I asked my insanely kind, yet terribly tone deaf, roommate to stop singing? | Okay so this dude is legit the nicest guy on the planet. Not only would he not hurt a fly, he'd sit down with the fly and ask how his days going. It's like living with pooh bear if he tossed on pants. He's just a downright great bud. However, he sings like a walrus being slowly sliced from the tail up with a dull butterknife. He's got an extremely low voice, like chocolate rain deep, but couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. He picks one tone and will not leave that tone, it's his home. And instead of moving his pitch up and down he simply yells louder or more softly. All his favourite tunes are sing-a-longs too, with his favourite band being queen. Sometimes he notices how he sounds, so he'll turn up the music which just makes him yell louder.
Now you may be thinking "if he's so nice why would that bother you? Don't be a dink", but I have lived with this dude for three years. We carpool to work. Every day for three years and the walrus is still suffering lol. So I ask you reddit, would I be the asshole if I brought it up and asked him to stop? If so I won't say shit but I will add: at this point, nails on a chalk board would be a nice change. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 14
} | RIGHT |
uOZhN8VTyRkEdakBDjRSnIrsHgNflmO6 | b2i236 | {
"description": "lifeguarding a pool and told someone not to be an idiot",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA Lifeguarding a pool and told someone not to be an idiot | This is my first post ever on reddit, so be gentle, but I just have to know if I'm the asshole here!
So, I worked as a lifeguard at a local pool in my late teens. It was a shit job and we were always understaffed, especially in the summer season, so we are normally pretty stressed out and tired. I'm quite jokey with a lot of customers and it normally plays off well , but this time it really didn't.
There are the usual pool rules signs up, but one rule we have is you can't jump in backwards. This is one of the rules that are really heavily enforced because I've heard stories of people cutting their chins on the poolside as they jump in. So on this day, a couple of kids are jumping in, having fun, but one is about to go in backwards. Trying to stop them I dash over and say "woah woah woah" (If you're asking why I didn't blow a whistle, we had swimming lessons on at the same time and the instructors use whistles so everyone just ignores them). Anyway, I get there a bit late and the kid goes in but thankfully he didn't hurt himself. I kneel down, smiling cause I'm glad hes fine, and say with a bit of laugh "don't be an idiot mate and go in backwards, you can hurt yourself."
The kid looked at me very wide eyed, but that was quite a good reaction because most normally cry when being told they can't do something. So I take that as a success and return to my post. Then, this dude (who I later found out was the kid's dad) comes charging at me, yelling that he wants to speak to my manager. I go fetch the boss and this dude starts yelling how I called his son an idiot and he's going to make a formal complaint. I try to say how its very dangerous to go in backwards and I don't want anyone to get hurt and he relies "you shouldn't be a lifeguard if you're that panicky."
To be fair, I am quite a jumpy guy. He logged a formal complaint but my manager at the time made sure it didn't go any higher. I just feel like he over reacted to the word "idiot", which I don't consider that offensive especially how I said it. I'm pretty sure he didn't here exactly what I said, I managed to get hold of a copy of his complaint and he said I yelled at his kid "stop being an idiot", which isn't true.
&#x200B;
This has bugged me for years as everyone I have told this to never gives me a straight answer. Whatever the judgement, I will accept it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
xOxyjX6apNwmEuoDVgdtT0rIhtKkilh4 | 9v2hzf | {
"description": "holding the door open",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for holding the door open? | I was walking into a restaurant for lunch and held the door open for a small group of people behind me. The three of them proceeded to walk to the hostess and didn’t let me get seated before them even though I was technically first. Is this an expected consequence of me holding the door open? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ok1MIebIXHiOOfvmXhi7oAmuMLBxqau9 | b7tcdx | {
"description": "ending a friendship over her cat obsession",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ending a friendship over her cat obsession? | This happened 4 years ago. I've always been conflicted about whether I was overreacting or not.
My mother was diagnosed with inoperable cancer 4 years ago, and passed away within 5 months of diagnoses. It was a rough 5 months as my father and I did the majority of the caretaking for her.
At the same time a woman I've known since I was 14, (we were in our early 30s at this point), had a pet die. It happened the same night I found out my mother had brain tumors. I tried to let her know I felt bad about her pet, but I had my own thing going on and couldn't be there for her. She insisted on calling me anyway to talk about her cat. Annoying, but my mom wasn't dead yet and my friends beloved pet was. I let it go.
Fast forward 5 months. My mother just died. I haven't been talking to my friend much because I've either been busy or exhausted. And a bit I was dodging her calls because all she ever talked about were her cats. But she wants to come to the funeral since she knew my mom and really cared for her. I let her know when and where and that she's welcome to come back to the house for the close friends and family get together after the reception.
She showed up at the church the funeral was at and I just couldn't shake her. After the service there was a reception and she followed me around it, talking to me about cats and complaining about living with her father. There were over 200 people at the service, my mom was well liked by her community. Most of them wanted to offer their condolences and as they did my friend kept awkwardly going on about her problems in the background. At one point I managed to slip away from my friend to have a smoke outside and she tracked me down. It was at that point I told her for the second time I really needed a break from the cat talk, and suggested she go say hi to her brothers family.
She came back to my side as soon as she could and continued on about the cats for the rest of the day. It was infuriating. The next day I blocked her from my social media and sent her a text saying I didn't appreciate her behavior and needed some time and space from our friendship. She flipped out, sent a lot of insulting messages, engaged with name calling. I just blocked her numbers and haven't spoken to her since.
I just wonder if I was overreacting out of grief, exhaustion, all the heaviness that comes with caring for a dying relative. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wycGulfhs5U935jLjwdKX6MMWGtZXoe7 | a03m1s | {
"description": "bringing up the Football Team's Record",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For Bringing Up The Football Team’s Record? | So my friend group [High School] consists of some that play golf (me) and a large amount that play football. We’re all pretty close and our differences in sports never usually comes up, but one day I was in a conversation about the school locker rooms. In a half-joking, somewhat serious and provocative way, my friend brought up that the football team (which used and decorated the whole locker Room) should have to share and accommodate all the other sports.
My friends, who I still believe are being unreasonable, swear that they have rights to “their” locker room and that it’s not for anyone else. I brought up ownership of the locker room should go to the team with the best record, which would be the golf team. (For more context, the football team had just gotten to a terrible start, and finished with a terrible record). This got them pretty pissed, but I still think they should understand that they don’t have much basis to help their argument that their team is “superior”.
We all have a pretty good relationship, but I felt somewhat bad because I really do hope that they do well as a team. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
LUb96kXdMKUwZlgnHntRq8M7DNlfvXus | apnpx1 | {
"description": "breaking a friendship over a few dollars",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for breaking a friendship over a few dollars? | I have two close friends, Joe and John.
A week ago they wanted to catch up over dinner in a local restaurant. I don't have a lot of spare savings. But I don't see them often, and there's never much opportunity to hang out so I decided to just go. The dinner was nothing special, came down to about $10 each. Joe forgot his wallet so I paid for him. I didn't specifically say anything but I was under the assumption that he would return it when he had the chance.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to today. I ran into Joe and tried to ask in a polite way (I'm a little short right now, do you think you could pay me back sometime?) He laughed it off and grew annoyed when I kept on asking why he thought was funny. He explained that if you offer to pay for someone else you shouldn't expect them to pay you back.
I got pretty angry, not because of the money but because he was really dismissive. I was raised to believe that you should always find a way to pay back or reciprocate when a person does something for you, even if it's just showing appreciation. I felt he just waved away my beliefs and the issue with an excuse. If he didn't have the $10 or was also short that would've been fine but dismissing me like that was really rude and not something i want in a friend.
So I just walked away and stopped keeping in touch/inviting him to hangouts. John probably heard, because today he told me that it was an asshole-ish thing to do and it ruined the whole friendship circle blah blah. He said it was only a few dollars and now I'm holding a grudge.
&#x200B;
So Reddit, am I the asshole? Did I overreact?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 12
} | WRONG |
1QIv3IkqsaV3dBpe0bQbFCx0KRTdWoTU | ayt4lq | {
"description": "excluding my coworker from a party after she has been invited",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I excluded my coworker from a party after she has been invited? | I currently work at a retail joint with a small group of coworkers who all get along well. I decided to invite them all over to my place for a dinner party and reluctantly invited L, one of my coworkers. L is extremely hard to spend time with. She shows up late to her shifts as well as any event we have. She believes in all this nutjob conspiracy crap (ex. That vaccines cause deformaties and that rich people bath in the blood of babies etc) and spends a lot of time talking about it. She also constantly tells me (I'm gay) that gay people are disgusting. All in all a shitty person, but I'm nice and invited her anyway.
L then decides that she doesn't like that I'm cooking asain food and tells me I need to make something different. I tell her I won't change the menu. Still, I don't recind the invitation.
Then shit hits the ceiling because L quits. Not only does she quit, but she doesn't show up to her last three shifts and then berates me for not covering her even though I had used my vacation days to go see my mother. My manager is pissed and she didn't even return her key.
So basically I want to tell her the dinner in two weeks is canceled and still have it. I know this is a dick move, but I can't imagine a more awkward event considering she screwed all of us by not showing up and screwed our manager (who is coming) by not giving back her key even though she quit a month ago. My coworkers have specifically asked me to disinvite her.
So reddit, WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Nt3pDbOcM3R5KaZjU55p5Q1MSds8ugbg | b9t6i3 | null | WIBTA if my fiance and I got diamond earrings for her sister? | My fiance's (I'll call her MF) sister is graduating from law school this May, and she has a boyfriend who she met at law school graduating with her. They've told us they're planning to get married once they settle into their professional careers and save up a some money, so it's definitely a serious relationship with a future.
MF and I are currently having a bit of a disagreement about what gift to get her sister for graduation. MF wants to get diamond earrings, and I told her that I'm not comfortable with it, and that if another couple bought diamond earrings for MF I would feel encroached upon. To be clear, they're not extravagant, the ones she found are 1/4 carat and cost $250 total. But the point remains for me since it's more about buying diamonds than the size or cost.
MF disagrees, and feels that since her sister and her sister's boyfriend both have pretty significant debts from school, getting her something nice that she won't be able to afford for awhile would be really nice. And while that's true, it sort of adds to the encroachment in my mind because I don't want to upstage her boyfriend. But my main issue is that I feel like myself being included in giving her diamonds is inappropriate.
So would we be assholes for buying diamond earrings for my fiance's sister, or am I overreacting? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
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