id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
6YkyGVG0661p7XYxzaS5yb6nSvSF4BWt | ap1b36 | null | AITA : My Wife Won't Quit Drinking My Tea. | To start, my wife stays home because of medical issues, because of this she typically does dishes, laundry, and cooking, this including making tea. I do not drink soda or alcohol, pretty much exclusively homemade tea and water.
When I have a cup of tea, she more often than not, takes my cup and drinks it. I'm talking like half of my cup. The first few hundred times it was cute/funny, now it's just annoying that after getting a cup, I have to get back up and get another cup. When I ask her to get her own cup she usually replies with, "It always tastes better when it's not yours!" or "It's your fault, you don't drink fast enough."
Am I The Asshole for wanting a drink to be exclusively mine? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 6
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 10
} | RIGHT |
yANPDuzIo2upOKZpkEDaDEtEBbKbdUqz | aye6tj | {
"description": "thinking my mom doesn't deserve the majority of my dad's inheritance",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for thinking my mom doesn't deserve the majority of my dad's inheritance? | My mom and dad were married for 20 years before my mom decided she wanted a divorce. I could tell for most of my life that my parents didn't get along, but in my 20's they seemed to be fighting more frequently. I believe my mom was emotionally cheating on my dad and asked for a divorce.
Their divorce was not pretty, my dad was a bit of a basketcase over it and became very depressed. The only thing that seemed to bring my dad's spirits up over the years was the birth of my children. He wanted to spend almost every weekend with me, which was sometimes annoying but looking back I'm grateful and miss our adventures. (Over the years my mom received a nice amount of alimony every month and was entitled to a portion of his pension when he retires.)
Several years later, my dad died due to heart complications in his sleep. He had a heart attack a few months after they split and his heart was weak. After his death, we had been contacted by his retirement system regarding his death benefits. Since my dad never retired, my mom will receive some of his inheritance. Well, most of it. I am my father's only living child and initially my mom told me if she were to get anything she would give it to me. Then she said she wouldn't be recieving his pension and is getting part of the inheritance but would like to use the money to help me buy a house or buy a new car, new furniture for my children/house, etc..."something my father would want."
Her and her boyfriend (who I don't care for) are planning on buying two houses, farm land, farm animals, planning on becoming medical marijuana growers, fixing up these houses, among other things. After hearing this I asked her if she was still going to help me out and she got angry and said she doesn't have any left and needs it. I asked her how since the money hasn't been divvied out yet and she began to explain what she needed it for and would have nothing leftover. It made things uncomfortable between us, so I dropped it ...but I've been brewing over it. Not only did she not speak to my dad for several years, but is planning on setting up a nice life for her and her boyfriend with my dad's inheritance.
AITA for thinking my mom doesn't deserve the majority of it or am I being unreasonable and spoiled? I don't think she shouldn't get anything and I understand legally it may be what's right, but I don't feel like it is ethically. I'm not going to push her on it. But I know if my hubby and I were to split, I would want my children to receive most of it, not him.
Tldr- my mom and dad had been divorced for several years prior to his passing. She will be inheriting the majority of his benefits, which she initially said she would like to use to help me and my family out. Now she plans on using it to buy two houses among other pipe dreams her and her boyfriend share and gets angry if I mention what she previously said. AITA for thinking this is wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Ej6gUc1Bl8FW2fwbwoUiJ5HhEYH6cEUP | avg65g | {
"description": "getting annoyed when my so calls to vent about work",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting annoyed when my so calls to vent about work | So everyday my boyfriend calls to vent about the stress of his job. He does have a stressful job and is in school full time so I understand. But at the same time he calls everyday and just goes off about every detail about what this person said, what this person is asking him to do. He just called and in the middle of his ranting started screaming that someone is calling him...like it's your job to have people call and ask you questions. My issue is he's not even trying to manage his stress. Like he told me that smoking weed makes him more stressed out, but continues to smoke everyday. He is also just a naturally nervous person so it's hard to tell if something is actually a problem or he's just blowing it out of proportion. Then he gets mad when I tell him to just breath, or not smoke weed. Also I have stress in my life too, but I just handle it. I don't feel the need to rant and rave about every issue. It annoys me because, like today it's my day off. I'm at home relaxing, working on art. Then he calls screaming about this and that and my blood pressure goes up, then he gets mad at me etc. So aita for feeling this way and not being more sympathetic? I don't tell him it annoys me...but sometimes my tone of voice betrays my feelings. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3mXhKwrAvOmTZAm2CElYQvrsfXcIP6xS | ay9hjd | {
"description": "leaving class early",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for leaving class early? | Today in school, i was in cooking, and our lessons are an hour, for 45 minutes the teacher didn't let me get water, then made us do the dishes during our break, people stayed in 10 minutes, i stayed in 5, doing dishes, then decided any trouble i would get in for leaving to get water would be worth it, Am i the ass hole or is the teacher | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
i6JibJpHiGPFAj1nTN3UyYDFfmHwsO4a | a785hb | {
"description": "being mad at my mom for tipping $1k on an $18k bingo win",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA For being mad at my Mom for tipping $1k on an $18k bingo win | Mom is a bingo regular with her husband, they both have an ebay business that pays the bills and allows them a modest entertainment fund. They regularly play bingo (2-3x week) at a couple different places in Vegas.
​
Tonight she hit big, $18k. She immediately called, we were both thrilled, then she revealed how proud she was of the $1000 tip she gave whoever gave her the money. This made me furious, because she has had money problems in the past and has never had any savings to speak of in her entire life. I lost my temper when she told me and hung up rather than fight about it. She called back, I said I couldn't talk to her at the moment, that I was happy for her win and didn't want to ruin it.
​
I know I'll have to apologize for hanging up on her, but am I the asshole for being pissed at her (IMO misplaced) generosity? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
4pJf9UGQQOsqFjSQPZCyF82ZYGkVLgrY | abxiat | {
"description": "laughing at someone's umbrella getting flipped",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for laughing at someone's umbrella getting flipped? | Yeah it's extremely mild, I just want your opinion. Light rain, strong wind, and this couple's umbrella gets flipped. I couldn't stop laughing to myself for like 10 minutes
I didn't have an umbrella but that didn't factor into it. I just find the mild suffering of people hilarious. Does that make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
U8AinzJIErao5ByxykfBcEtd9BtxZMKj | agd6k7 | {
"description": "holding onto resentment toward my ex wife",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for holding onto resentment toward my ex wife? | This is a long one, so be prepared. A bit of background..... My wife and I got married pretty young. We both belonged to a very conservative religion where that was normal. But sexual repression was also a part of the religion, and thus we were both pretty in the dark as to what our sexual needs were/ had some serious guilt complexes about some "experimenting" we did while we were dating. The first couple years of our marriage were pretty rocky, with both of us doing some things that although most people wouldn't consider infidelity, definitely damaged our marriage (I had a problem with porn, she drunkenly experimented with another girl).
We both avoided the discussion we should have had for a long time, but we eventually had some serious talks. We both knew rebuilding trust was going to be a huge issue, but decided we were going to try to make things work.
Shortly after that, she told me that her depression was pretty bad and that her PTSD had been pretty unbearable (she experienced sexual abuse), and she told me she would like to move closer to her parents, partially for support and partially because they have health problems that would require someone to care for them eventually anyway. I agreed to the move, and began slowly preparing. Then she calls me a few weeks later crying, telling me that she quit her job because her co-workers were treating her badly, and her manager was siding with them. I told her it was ok, and assured her I wasn't mad. She asked if we could just rush the move, since we were planning to anyway, and just stay with her parents for a month or two while we got things in order. Against my better judgement I agreed, and within a week we were there.
Well both got jobs right away, and everything was going ok. But right before we were going to move into the place we had found, a serious health emergency caused me to have to leave work for a couple months, setting us back a bit. We were starting to get back into a good position when we found out she was pregnant. This was a complete surprise, because she had been told that she would probably never be able to have kids. I didn't know quite how to feel, but I supported her through the whole thing. Facing the prospect of so much added expense kind of delayed our plans to move though, so we put life on hold for a bit.
Eventually she approached me with the idea of buying a house with her parents, since she would inevitably be caring for them eventually anyway, and them splitting expenses with us so it wouldn't be so hard on us or them. Again, against my better judgement I agreed (I really just wanted her to be happy, and I was ok doing whatever would achieve that goal. So we did, and our baby was born shortly after.
Things were ok for the first few months, and although we had a few arguments I thought things were ok. But a few days after our anniversary I found out she had been talking to some other (married) guy. I found it because she left her phone at home and when I picked it up I saw the messages. I confronted her, and she admitted it. She swore it hadn't been going on long, and that they had never been intimate. But then she started blaming me, saying she was lonely, and that's why she turned to someone else. I reminded her that I had spent our entire anniversary day (only a few days before) trying to talk to her, and she lied and said that her friend was having some kind of crisis and needed her, when the reality was that she was ignoring me for this guy.
At first after this I tried to fix things, and she told me she would cut all contact with the guy. But she then started saying that she wasn't happy, and that she couldn't let the problems we had in the past go. She bounced back and forth between wanting to end things and wanting to try and repair things, and since we now had a child I patiently waited, hoping we could fix it. But eventually it came out that she never even cut contact with the guy, and that a week or so later HE told HER he wanted to cut contact and try to fix his marriage.
We were still living together at this point, since we had her parents living with us. But she said she wanted to just end things. At this point I agreed with her completely, and we decided we would just slowly figure stuff out, and separate when we had everything in order. Later, come to find out, she had been seeing another married guy during this time, and although I wasn't horribly upset, when she told me and asked me if I had been, I told her "no, I have enough respect for you to at least wait until we aren't living together before I do that". It's one of the few times I said something pretty hurtful, and it definitely made my point. She confessed that she felt like an awful person, and I just kind of told her honestly that I thought her breaking up two marriages and two families just to have what she wanted was pretty shitty.
We are finally at the tail end of the whole thing, her parents resent her for forcing them to move (she can't afford the house on her own, even with their help, and neither can I) and for basically making a promise to help take care of them that she's now going back on. And for my part, I'm just angry that she took so long to decide she didn't want this, and couldn't let the past go. Was I a perfect husband..... Not by a long shot! We both fucked up, and agreed to put that behind us. I resent her, not for wanting a divorce, but for putting me, her parents, and our child in this situation, and waiting until the point that she did to decide she didn't want to be together. AITA for holding resentment when I damaged our marriage too? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fNgSUsDXwEcOO8YzU4VB9riiauSPA0rH | b543u2 | {
"description": "not letting my younger brother get in the shower first",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my younger brother get in the shower first? | My brother (7) and I share a bathroom, meaning one of us showers first, and another one goes to another shower. I already had all of my toiletries in my bathroom (shampoo, soap, etc.) and didn’t feel like moving.
In order to determine who gets to go first, we have to call it. I would always respect if he called it first and let him use it. But whenever I call it first, he throws a fit and I let him use it out of pity. Today I was extremely tired and felt like using it first and getting right to bed. My brother through his usual fit but he started crying and told our parents when I said no.
I decided to leave it and just continue my nightly routine. Should I have been more mature here or was it good that I let it go? AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ty7VjBLwfJYC4xJOHMjJn5AZTzsD8JAI | b3yt6a | {
"description": "shorting a tip because the service staff assumed I was someone's mother",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for shorting a tip because the service staff assumed I was someone's mother? | Long story short, my husband and I are in our early 30s. Date night, and looking good, or so I thought. We went out for hibachi and we're sat with a random early 20s couple. The chef assumed I was the mother of the 21 yo, and kept calling me "mama " and excluding me from free shots and catching food thrown off the spatula.
I'm only 10 years older than the girl we were seated with. My husband thinks I'm overreacting, but I was honestly offended. I tipped, but dropped from 20% to about 12%. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
d1DmgRc29xSoWjvouYRePOTBWZCeiG5M | b4rshd | {
"description": "telling my family I'm gay around Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my family I'm gay around Christmas? | Hey guys!
First of all; sorry for posting two AITA in a row, but I just found this subreddit and I do have a few moments of "did I go step to far?"
​
ANYWAY! For a short intro:
My family is religious. Very religious! Like table prayers every dinner and church 3 times a week kind of religious. Being Gay has never really been something we talked about in my family, so I don't actually know if I'm just the one black sheep.
I got this new "friend" some time ago (I'll call her Moonlight, because that's my nickname for her :3) and we started getting really close. Before I really noticed I was falling for her, we spend a weekend alone and I ended up kissing her (She kissed back! XD I didn't just jump her with smooches! XD).
It hits me like a fucking sledgehammer that "OMG I'm gay!" (or bi, I don't know yet....) and I feel fucking horrible! SO HORRIBLE I decide "HA FUCKING NOPE!" not gonna tell my family. NOPE! NOT GONNA FUCKING HAPPEN!
Then, around Christmas we have this family dinner, where some of my closest family is over, and my mother asks "So, how is it going between you and Moonlight?" (I'm not good at making friends and she knows this) and without thinking I blur out "I think I love her" only to realize like .0005 seconds to late I said it out loud.
I'm mortified!
My family is mortified.
Silence.
Everyone is staring.
I'm freaking out, starts crying like a fucking toddler and leaves the table to hide in the guestroom (I don't live with my parents so I don't have my own room) having a minor panic attack.
My mother comes in 10 min later and calms me down until I can breath normal and asks me to "forget that happened and come eat with the family". I spend almost 30min getting my shit together.
(NOTE: I know how "wtf just happened?" this situation looks from an outside perspective, but Imagine your whole family being the KKK and you just blurred out "I'm dating a Black person!" Cause that's what it felt like.)
Most of the dinner is really awkward, people are tiptoeing around me and I'm trying to avoid conversations at all costs.
​
Fast forward to almost a week after and I find out my family has been complaining about me "ruining christmas for them" because I couldn't let them celebrate God in their own house without spreading my Gay propaganda.
(Not word by word, but I'm translating to what makes most sense).
​
TLDR: AITA for telling my highly religious family that I'm gay, in the middle of a christian holiday and (potentially) ruining their entire Christmas? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
gQztSPZs0MyRbIDzTMsZNdooY8hAs85A | aooyf9 | {
"description": "refusing to let people pay for my meals",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for refusing to let people pay for my meals | I apologize if this is a boring post. I haven't exactly 'lost' friendships or gotten into arguements with people over this issue but it feels like I'm forcing them (and myself) into an awkward situation.
There is a old guy at work that's really nice. We have been chatting a bit and it feels nice to have him as a friend. But then we ran into each other at breakroom. He offered to pay for my meal. It costed a whopping dollar. I refused. He insisted. I insisted harder. He wasn't offended but I think he was upset I didn't take the gesture.
I used to go to a coffee shop after work, and after getting my third coffee there free, I stopped going. It's been months. I can't even get six feet close to that place without feeling panic.
I feel like this behavior is limiting me from bonding with people. I have no issue paying for someone else's meal. But I can't stand to have my own meal paid for.
It's not even like I'm rich or anything. But my mother has told me I might be coming off as stuck up. My brother says I need to chill.
I don't know what to really think.
If it helps, I'm a 28 female. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
BdBdT2Y7mBOo4nByHWv2cKOFBf2R6Z3l | agrs2f | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with the last person that saw my sister alive",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with the last person that saw my sister alive? | Throwaway account for privacy reasons.
My little sister committed suicide a year ago. It's been hard and has caused a lot of emotional tension within my family, but we are slowly working through it with therapy and family/grief counseling. My mother and I went to visit my sister's grave yesterday, but we had a last minute guest: her boyfriend.
Though I hesitate to call him her boyfriend for reasons that will soon become apparent, it is true that he was the last person to see her alive. They did mutually care for one another and spent time together, so it wasn't completely out of the ordinary for him to want to come with us on the eve of her passing.
However, there are a few things that have further soured my already not-great view of him:
* Despite saying how deeply he cared about her, he says that this is the first time that he has visited her grave since her passing. My family has visited several times over the past year, either as a group or individually/in pairs. He had plenty of chances to join us, or even come on his own.
* They "dated" for only 4 months, yet says that he "knew her better than anyone". He says this in front of a mourning mother and a brother that not only spent a good portion, if not their entire, life with her. Taking her to and from counseling, hospitals, police stations, and so on.
* I say "dated" because he convinced her to leave her boyfriend to be with him. He also impregnated her, which she later miscarried. I cannot know for sure if this had any impact on her final decision.
There are other things that have led me to my negative view of him that I won't get into for the sake of brevity. However, my mother wishes to continue inviting this man into our life and home. I can only assume that this is because he is the last person to see my sister alive. From what I understand, it wasn't anything of note, nothing extraordinary, he was just as shocked as we were. However, given his attitude and his role in my sister's life, I want nothing to do with him and would rather him not bother my family again. I have encouraged my mother to talk to her therapist about this, as I don't want her to become codependent on him. And maybe I'm being paranoid or cynical, but I don't want this guy to try and take advantage of my family.
I'm dreading the next time she invites him into our home because she will see how not-thrilled I am, will ask why, and will invariably becomes upset if I tell the truth because I'm denying her the opportunity to indulge in what I think is something potentially unhealthy.
I know she misses her daughter. I miss my sister.
Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5j92TY1JPSBNxxhEP1qjxyjzcaBD14hH | a3kepk | {
"description": "fidgeting with something while talking to my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for fidgeting with something while talking to my boyfriend? | Sex is actually reversed. My girlfriend and I were having a conversation, during which I was standing and reached over to grab my earphones. I started swinging them around while she was explaining something, but I was listening and looking at her while doing so. She got mad, told me I wasn’t paying attention to her, and refused to talk to me after that. I apologized but she still didn’t want to continue our conversation, and just told me “ it’s not important anymore”.
The thing is, I fidget with stuff all the time when I talk to people, and they never seem to be bothered. Is this a rude thing to do? I’ve always assumed people don’t mind. It’s like if I were talking to a friend and they started playing with their keys or something but they were still responding to me it wouldn’t bother me. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GjPV0UoZJ7SHvg9YmpRJCpnmy4ng70J6 | b5l8er | {
"description": "getting mad at a friend for teasing me in a mean way on a bad day",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad at a friend for teasing me in a mean way on a bad day | For context, this was a really bad day. I had just started that time of the month (I am a girl) during an in-class essay first period. I'm talking really bad cramps, some of the worst I had ever felt. During second period I was talking to the friend I eventually got mad at about the pain since we sit next to each other in that class. It was a science class and we were supposed to do a lab, but all of a sudden I simultaneously felt nauseous and like I was going to faint. I went to my teacher to ask to go to the nurse, but she could see how bad I felt, apparently my face was really pale. I was eventually fine, had some juice and pain relievers before taking a nap in the nurse's office before heading to my third period class. The incident with the friend occurred afterwards at lunch. This friend had previously teased me about how I ate the same foods every day for lunch (I'm picky, sue me). A few other friends have also done this, but the difference is they did it in a teasing, friendly way while this friend was almost insulting me. I had told her a few times that it annoys me when she does this, but she kept at it. I had a gut feeling she would do it again, and sure enough, right when I approached my friends' table she immediately made a snide comment. I was still stressed after the experience I just had so I just went off. I had a twenty second rant, basically saying I didn't want to hear another word about what I eat from her. When I finished and sat down to eat, she turned to a mutual friend of ours and whispered, "well you know she does eat the same thing everyday". I called her out on it and her defense was that she wasn't saying it to *me*, to which I responded by saying that I can still hear her. She was quiet after that and never made a comment about my eating habits again. However, the year after that, I was talking to her and the mutual friend when the incident somehow came up in conversation. They proceeded to tell me how *funny* my reaction had been, even though they both knew I was annoyed by comments like that and were aware of experience I had gone through that day. I chewed them out, reminding them of what happened and later I finally got an actual apology from both of them. The only thing I regret is doing the rant in the cafeteria where everyone could hear, but I'm just glad it stopped and I got an apology. I might be an a\*\*hole for getting mad over a comment, but I was honestly at the end of my rope. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Om8uMlVbeHr24wvknQNOsz1I5ZFURzQP | ae31oz | {
"description": "wanting a seizure dog and the ability to drive",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting a seizure dog and the ability to drive? | I had my license taken away due to seizures a few years ago, with the help of good meds I've been able to get the seizures down to 12-15/month. These are all around my cycle (known as catamenial epilepsy) and a simple progesterone IUD \*should\* end most if not all my seizures. Hopefully. Maybe. After my body adjusts, 6 months. We will have to see.
​
In order to get my drivers licence back, I need to stop having seizures for a noteworthy amount of time. In order to qualify for a dog, I need to have seizures. These run $40,000 and the organization would have me pay a fraction of that (about $2,500 + travel, food, outing expenses). One of the sucky but necessary things is that you go out with "your" dog during training and they try to trigger a seizure with all the distractions around (for example at a mall, park, theme park). So, if my seizures are bad enough in public, the clock on when I can get my drivers licence back gets reset, but if I stop having seizures altogether then I might be taking a dog from someone who needs it. The devil on my shoulder says that if I have a dog that can alert me a few mins before I have a seizure (so I can pull over) then I have a better argument for driving, as well as ease my anxiety over having a seizure. BUT is that even an excuse?
​
Again, I have no idea until 6 months after I get the IUD how my seizures will be. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
DRT39mYpYzGsef4x8SvPw0d1xlVI0noz | 9zqtuz | {
"description": "telling my girlfriend I don't want to pick her up",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to pick her up | So it’s Friday night, I have plans to go over to a friends house, I get ready to set off and I get a call from my girlfriend saying her train is delayed 2 hours and she needs picking up.
Ok no problem the train station is about 45 minutes away it’s a 1hr 30 min round trip to collect her and take her home, and then another 20 minutes to get to my friends house. So all in all I’m going to be about 2 hours late to my friends.
The problem is - she tells me not to bother to get her if I don’t want to... I tell her “I don’t want to as it’s an inconvenience but I will help you anyway” so of course I go and collect her anyway because I’m not going to let her wait for 2 hours.
We get to hers and she starts crying because she would never say she wouldn’t want to help me/pick me up etc...
So I sacrificed my 2 hours so she could save 2 hours getting home, and she’s upset because I told her I didn’t want to collect her but I would anyway
AITA??
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
F2ORhWmH9g83T5QTCaIpZCdspuHoNiVq | b97pc7 | {
"description": "disliking the autistic kid at my school",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For disliking the autistic kid at my school | First and probably only post so shit formatting
Heres some background
There is this one autistic kid who also has anger management issues. here is the problem his a racist and very rude person who gets all the special treatment. once he said to my face that only chinks go to tutoring when me and my friend were talking about it and the teacher did noting.
When me and my friends whistle we have to stay in at lunch. like i understand his got autism and all that but still we get more punishment. its still not cool me and my friends have also complained about him to our Sort it out management but no one is listening to us
​
So the whole story here is that we were going to do a group assignment and he tried to join ours i decline and he gets super pissed (he has no other friends and we were about to have a full group) until i said 'Leave us alone we obviously dont want you in our group please leave us alone' in a loud voice and he did he didnt have another group so he just joined a group of girls pitying him
​
now i feel like an asshole for telling him off in such a mean way so AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SDpc9DKB409yr7S1veRCedDQvdnB2SOx | agf9f4 | {
"description": "not getting along with my Step-Mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not getting along with my Step-Mother | I’ve known my step mother (referred to as SM) for 4 years. In that time my reputation of her has gone from indifferent to a perpetual disliking and avoidance. Whenever my dad got remarried to my now SM I tried to be friendly, making casual remarks I thought were funny, playing off mistakes I made as being a goof, and looking past her mistakes. Despite that, SM always had a seemingly bias opinion of my brother and I. She would crack her own “jokes” daily (which consisted of mocking my brother and I’s weaknesses). Whenever my brother and I would voice our displeasure, she would get incredibly defensive and reply, “I was only joking”, “It was just sarcasm!” Sometimes the jokes wouldn’t even be about our weaknesses, but just plain out lies about our hobbies, habits, etc. Recently SM has even been testing us. Misplacing items so that when we don’t find them, she can say “Just goes to prove how imperceptive/lazy you are”, “Just shows how much men rely on women”. The house has felt very women dominated and man demeaning ever since she got here. Because of SM, I now have a lack of confidence in my own skills like if I’m perceptive or not, lazy or not.
I ask because I want to know if I’m being to selfish about this. TBH, she does do things for us like cook, clean, vacuum, etc. for us.
Am I being too negative? Sensitive? AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KvhkoP7GWcQ2LdRmFY6l5hy6fPIYcm05 | b8dm72 | {
"description": "being upset by an April Fool's joke",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset by an April Fool’s joke? | Mobile post, formatting, blah blah blah.
Backstory: I’m currently student teaching high school English and have had issues with my mentor teacher all semester. She sits in the back of the class and texts or distracts kids whenever I try to teach, which undermines me and makes me look like the bad guy when I attempt to get on task. I’ve talked to her and it got better for awhile. She’s awesome at building relationships with students, but it often crosses the boundary of “friendly vs. friend” and disrupts my class.
Now to the situation.
Early in the day, my mentor had the idea to play a prank on our last class of the day by pretending they had an essay due. I told her that I didn’t want to, but that she could. I hate April Fool’s day, but I’m not about to rain on anyone’s parade. She decided to do it.
Last period comes and her prank is funny and easygoing, the kids laugh, I’m finishing some work while it happens, all is well.
I’m then attempting to start the lesson when two girls - who have a long history of fighting - start shouting and squaring up in the back of my class. My teacher runs out saying she’s getting admin, and I try to keep everyone’s attention off the girls.
She re-enters with a male teacher and they take one of the girls outside. Again, I attempt to start my lesson and the class follows.
As we’re getting into our reading, my mentor bursts through the door and starts screaming at my class, “SHE IS OUT THERE BAWLING. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? I NEED ANSWERS, NOW. KATIE (the other girl), WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?”
I felt completely embarrassed for my mentor, as I felt like this outburst was completely unprofessional. I finally snap and say, “If you need to have that conversation, take her outside. You need to get out. We’re trying to work.” and my mentor takes her outside.
We again try to get on task.
My mentor then comes in with the girls about ten minutes later and the girls say “It was a prank.”
Me: “Okay”
I keep teaching.
The girls: “That’s it?”
Me: “We’ve already wasted over half our class on pranks. I’m not interested in wasting anymore.”
My mentor comes up to me in the English office after class, laughing, and I say “Did you help them plan that?”
Mentor: “No, but I was told to play along.”
Me: “Yeah, well, you’re the teacher. You’re the adult. You should’ve shut it down. I’m so angry that I’m ready to walk out. That was completely disruptive and disrespectful. How was I supposed to know what that was?”
My mentor got sheepish and apologized, saying that it wasn’t her attention to disrupt things and make me uncomfortable. I can’t help but feel like a giant asshole, but I felt completely helpless. So Reddit, AITA for being so sensitive? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9YqwJQDjDTc12NxF7L8slciqucmA6vQr | afo6c1 | {
"description": "going against my parents wishes to go to study medicine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going against my parents wishes to go to study medicine? | So I’m 15 and I have five older sisters, all of which are adults now and have attended the same high school (I’ll call it HS A) that is across the street from us. HS A doesn’t have the best reputation, but has clearly gotten better over recent years. I have always expected to attend HS A, but last minute my parents decided to make me go to HS B, which is a medical science academy located 1 hour away from us. I argued against this all summer, saying that it’s too far and I don’t want to study medicine and because of the distance I won’t be able to do extracurriculars nor get enough sleep (which has all proven to be true) but my parents argued that I shouldn’t attend HS A because “look at what happened to your sisters” (my sisters are all somewhat struggling with their careers and the oldest, age 28, is still in college and living at home), “HS A is bad, HS B is good and YOU’RE GOING TO BE A DOCTOR WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT”
Now let me stress this: HS B is NOT a good school despite the pretty “Academy” logo that makes it seem prestigious and fine. It has possibly one of the WORSE reputations in the district. There are constant fights, lockdowns, and ironically there was a fight in my medical science class that lasted 3 minutes and the teacher didn’t do anything.
My parents are under the impression that I’ll go bad if I go to HS A, but unlike my sisters, I’ve always been the “good child” who gets straight A’s and never gets into trouble, and I know that that’s not going to change.
It’s been a semester now that I’ve attended HS B. I’ve always been really bad at making friends so I’m lonely, I’m depressed and I’m always tired, but when I try to communicate this to my parents they call me selfish and stupid for wanting to transfer. I’m only 15, and maybe I dont know what’s best for myself, but is it wrong for me to want to go against my parents wishes because they make me miserable? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fV0C4qxGF8bEVZVrovy2r2lLlsSskwHt | 9z102o | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for stealing tips when we go out to eat",
"pronormative_score": 283,
"contranormative_score": 23
} | AITA if I break up with my girlfriend for stealing tips when we go out to eat? | my girlfriend and I have been dating now for about 1 month. Things have gotten very serious very quickly, and I have met her parents who I get along with very well. We have spent a lot of time together and she has pretty much moved into my place now. We also recently went on vacation together. I give this contact so that you know that I've spent a lot of time with her and I've seen her interact with a lot of different people in different context. For the most part, things are fine. However, there is one thing that she does regularly that bothers me. Namely, she steals tips.
whenever we go to a bar, a restaurant, or take a taxi, I will try to leave a tip for the person working. I only noticed a few days after we started dating, that she would go to the table after we left and take the money off of the table. After I caught her stealing tips from me, I asked her, "why are you doing this?" She then told me, "they do not deserve the money. They were not working hard enough."
since then, I have caught her taking the tip almost every time we have gone out. She will give me the tip back about 20-30% of the time. The rest of the time she will keep it.
I feel like she really doesn't understand how hard it is to work in the service industry, and that she's being a bit selfish. AITA if I break up with her over it? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 281,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 283,
"WRONG": 23
} | RIGHT |
OXJyJltqiWf9IxP17CQjhAF2BwsSx8GF | b2158a | {
"description": "not texting a Girl that told me to leave her alone",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not Texting a Girl that told me to leave her alone? | **Long story short, a girl(Whom i have been flirting with recently but am not super like close to) and i had this exchange**
Her(to snapchat story): "Leave me alone, no one text me"
Me: "Hey you okay? Whats wrong?" (Obligatory Are you okay?)
​
Her: "Leave me alone I don't wanna talk to anyone"
​
Me: "Ok, Talk to you later then"
​
**She then proceeds to block me on everything(except Instagram) an hour later, i DM her and ask why she blocked me:**
​
Me: Hey why did you block me?
​
Her: Because you fucking left when i was feeling bad
*I have not responded, and don't plan to*
​
**AITA** for not playing that bullshit game? If you want me to talk to you, **TELL ME.** If you say leave me alone, **IMMA LEAVE YOUR ASS ALONE.** I asked what was wrong, she wouldn't answer, I can't read your damn mind.
Anyway **AITA**? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
MjqKLdjRQWXR0mwpHaRLHhk0N3mqZmNb | a8otui | {
"description": "getting upset with my boyfriend when he cancels/pushes our plans back to accommodate his friends who are late for their plans",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend when he cancels/pushes our plans back to accommodate his friends who are late for their plans? | So my bf and I were supposed to hang out after I worked today. Told him I was leaving work and that I’ll be home soon and then I’ll just have to shower and put some makeup on. Him and his friend had plans to hang out while I was at work, but for some reason his friend didn’t show up until now and now my bf pushed the plans he had with me back to hang with his friend. AITA for getting upset? He’s cancelled on me before too to hang with his friends and it hurts so much. I asked him if he would rather cancel our plans to hang with his friend and his response was “I don’t wanna make you sad”. So he doesn’t actually want to see me, he just doesn’t want me to be sad. AITA for getting upset about this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gKhgu4Co5Kd7dfPdVEiSv4IDR77ROYGx | b7yuce | {
"description": "asking someone to the ball then saying I wouldn't want to go with them",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for asking someone to the ball then saying I wouldn't want to go with them? | Hey everyone,
Anyway, so I began talking to this girl who was new this year, and she seemed really nice and chill, all in all someone I thought I'd vibe with. Long story short, we began flirting and I asked her to the ball. We were beginning to get to that "more than friends" when I realised that she's very clingy, not really what I look for in a relationship. So I told her that I'd be better off with her as friends and that I'd still like to go to the ball with her as mates, but then stuff got even worse.
About two weeks ago, I was having shit time as I had lost a friend of in the Christchurch terror attacks. She fully what I was going through. she sort of just ignored it and sent memes about the topic which I found pretty offensive. As a result I told her I was upset (not about what tho) and just started sort of easing off contact with her - not replying to her messages etc. Around about this time she also told me about how much she liked me and how she wished we were more than friends and could be together and all that. Remember that clingy part I said? Yeah, that came out full force. She messaged me on snapchat, text, Facebook messenger, both my instagram accounts, created a post on Facebook that only her and I could see and said to talk to her. After all this had failed she emailed me which I just ignored again because I really wasnt in the mood. I began to notice how she was low key very very VERY obsessive with me responding.
I'm a pretty laid back guy, so all considered I decided that i didnt think it was a good idea for me to go to the ball with her as we'd we would ruin it for each other, which I didn't know when I asked her as I hadnt gotten to know her properly. But obviously saying that I didn't want to go to the ball with her because she was over attached would be a huge dick move so I wasnt going to say that, so I thought that I'd just go along with it - I've made my bed, so I should sleep in it I thought. But then she kept telling me how much she liked me, but then she had sex with another guy and told me again that she liked me. At this point I was sort of just confused, and I didn't want to go to the ball with her so I said that, but instead of telling the truth I said that I felt manipulated and hurt when she had sex with another dude after saying she was head over heels obsessed with me and that I don't think it would be a good idea to go together, because I dislike hurting peoples feelings more than necessary but still, that would not have been fun to hear and I sorta regret it because she is really sad now and angry at me. At the same time, I don't think it's fair for me to put up with her ruining my best memory of my last year of school, especially after she memed something very close to me and sort of creeped me out with the obsessive messaging.
Am I the asshole? Should I have just sucked it up? Was it wrong for me to lie about the reason I didn't want to go with her, even if it was to hurt her less?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
tZqyjKYBXpTYKkGzyuJI1ATNGw3c6v0V | b8l512 | {
"description": "not wanting to go my Dad's Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA: For not wanting to go my Dad's Christmas |
I begin my tale with the death of my mother. She passed away in June 2018 from a very long battle with MS and other complications. She had been sick for over 10 years and handicap for most of that time. During that time my father took care of her all the way to the end. They would have been married 40 years at the end of 2018.
About a month later he began dating a woman who was a friend of the family, who has lied to my wife, me, and my brother repeatedly about things. So we were not the biggest fans of her.
Fast forward to now, they got engaged, in which my dad broke down my mothers ring (after 40 years of marriage and my pleading with him not too). She came to all of the family holidays (the first ones without mom and that we had asked if she would abstain from coming because it was already hard enough). And now they are married (literally 6 months after mom had died and we buried her). And Dad literally got rid of all of mom's things, even Christmas ornaments that had him, my brother, and I on them still, because it had moms name on it.
Since the step-mom is from a big family, they decided to break 30 year family traditions without consulting anyone, and said that they are renting a house in the middle of nowhere and they are requiring everyone to be there kids, spouses, and grand-kids (15 people) , so that we can stay indoors all weekend with each other and play games together. Not one of the kids wants to go to this forced mash up of yule-tide-awkwardness. The whole reason behind this gift is because my father is a control freak and because he didn't get his way last Christmas (my brother and I left earlier than we usually would because we didn't want to play games with him and his fiance, like we used to do with mom).
My wife and I literally scheduled a vacation around the scheduled time they told us so we wouldn't have to go. My dad said that I "had to be there" and that they would reschedule to January.
​
Am I the asshole for telling my father that I will not be going to his "Christmas gift" to us? AITA for not going? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mTXhstiETCQxzFoVKNlhAzCjvVM2tzO3 | arktr0 | {
"description": "holding a grudge against my in-laws for not giving a wedding gift",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for holding a grudge against my in-laws for not giving a wedding gift? | I've been struggling with this for awhile and I think I am the asshole, but here goes:
My partner has been married before, and previously they were given wedding gifts from their family (parents and siblings) during this first marriage. My partner is one of 4 children and I have no siblings.
We had a small wedding, and when looking back at all gifts I noticed that 92% of gifts came from my side.
There's no one I can really talk to this about since it would hurt my partner and I'd never say anything directly to their family but it really weighs on my mind. I hope in time I can forget about it but for sanity check, am I the asshole for even thinking this way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
orimadBtljCJocNXsQJPfVZNPO0SNRFr | 9ucil0 | {
"description": "being honest with a girls bf",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For being honest with a girls bf? | Sorry about the length but I feel like this needs a large amount of context to understand the actions taken at the end.
So this happened a while ago (just under a year) and still bothers me to this day because I feel like it m the asshole but I’m not totally sure. Anyways:
I (M18) was friends with a girl (F17, We’ll call her Jen) for around a year and we got along really well. We would talk an excessive amount for around 6-7 months about anything and everything. All the stuff from her past, her dreams and plans for the future and everything in between. I knew every little detail about her.
After the 6-7 months, she started dating a guy (M20, He can be called Alan). Now I was completely ok with this and honestly encouraged it because she always seemed to want a relationship and her and I had no interest in dating each other. The relationship seemed to be fine for around 3 months until things started to go a little bit south on her end. She began complaining a lot to me about him and the fights they had. They fought almost every night and I had to constantly be there to pick up the pieces and help her recover mentally.
This continued for another few months. I tried to give different advice such as to try to be more accepting and reasonable and even suggested she should leave him on one occasion (it was a seriously petty fight that he cause) and I was starting to get slightly sick of how they treated each other as it just seemed childish. It’s also important to note that I had never really met or spoken to this guy however we were aware of each other and I’m fairly convinced he didn’t like me as he was paranoid that she would cheat with me and said this on multiple occasions which caused some of the arguments
The day I finally met him, we were doing stuff with a few of my friends and he decided to join in. It was all going ok until he ended up starting a verbal fight with a friend of mine. Long story short, he ended up leaving and taking her with him. After the fact, he had the audacity to message me with something along the lines of “nice friends you’ve got there” in which I was furious at and responded with a statement outlining how shitty he treats Jen and how much of a dickhead he was. This caused a fight between Jen and Alan and around 30 minutes of no communication between me and them later, I received a call from Jen in which she was in awful state, one of the worst I’ve ever seen her in. She was saying that I destroyed her relationship and that I was “the biggest cunt on the planet”
I immediately felt an immense guilt so I decided to bite the bullet in a hopes of fixing the relationship. I contacted Alan and we basically came to the agreement that he would forgive her and move on with the relationship if I cut all contact with her. I agreed and then explained in a short message to her that we couldn’t speak anymore and that I hope she’s ok, I then blocked her on everything.
Am I the asshole for arguing with her boyfriend and sharing some of the private information between us?
TL;DR
I got into an argument with a friends bf and called him out for mistreating her which caused an argument and caused her to hate me. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
5yyuAR7MtU12CGIic6EpZbH9EFgJwKQV | b19npa | {
"description": "not wanting to apologize and ruining a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to apologize and ruining a friendship? | There are 4 characters involved. Adam, Sarah, Karen.
It's my senior year of college and I'm elected President of my college club. I get pretty close with all of my board members, Adam, Sarah, and Karen. I end up getting vibes from Karen that she likes me. I don't like her back so I maintained a professional relationship with her.
We have a group chat where we're all quite comfortable with each other. I act like myself in there but 1-1 with her I act professionally. We have a numerous late night calls in the beginning of the fall semester and got pretty close.
On multiple occasions, Adam brought up people's personal lives. He told us peoples names and their secrets. We felt uncomfortable and told him to stop. But the three of them continued. We end up talking about the people we like. Turns out Adam likes the girl who I got rejected by. I don't really say anything cause I didn't want Adam telling the world all of my secrets.
Adam tells me that he got mad at one guy when he found out he liked his crush. Solely because he liked her. He stopped being friends with that guy. Then another guy liked her and he said he felt sad. Whenever I had an issue with him, I would tell him. But the following days, he would just give me the cold shoulder. I would end up apologizing for things that weren't even my fault, just to save our friendship.
Fast forward a couple months and I find out through Sarah that there's a group chat between the three of them where all they do is gush over me for Karen and Adam's crush. I found this really odd so I kept more of a distance between Adam and Karen but I became close friends with Sarah. Sarah tried telling them, "hey I don't think it'll really work, maybe reconsider" to save their feelings knowing that I don't like Karen.
Sometimes it got extremely annoying. Karen made a comment in the group saying how I looked hot in a sweater. Adam and Karen one night went to where I normally park my car to see if I was still on campus. Karen would analyze my interactions with girls to find out the girl that I liked before.
Recently I confronted them. I told Karen that when she analyzes me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. She said it was a joke. I told Adam that his crush was the girl who rejected me. I told him he needs to stop talking shit about ppl being their back. I told him that if he has an issue with someone, tell them. I was blunt and didn't sugar coat anything.
I felt bad a day or two later cause I thought I was harsh. Turns out today, he posted a photo on his IG, "Toxic ppl are like '70% off' sales racks. It all looks good from a distance. But up close, it's just a bunch of useless crap that you don't need."
Karen said Adam wants an apology. Adam yelled at me today when I asked if we could talk about what happened. He said, "CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME SPACE AND NOT TALK TO ME." So I got up and left.
I'm graduating in a month. I can't be bothered to apologize anymore. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FKCAzSdqRGg1gE5sL1jxCibeRuZd9RdD | b7wt5i | {
"description": "ditching my boyfriend after his friend hugged him",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA For ditching my boyfriend after his friend hugged him | I went out the to college bar part of town with my boyfriend. He has a really bad history of getting drunk and yelling at me, but I was determined to have a good time.
After the second bar, where we got kicked out because his friend was too drunk, we were trying to figure out what to do next. We were on the street in front of the other bar we wanted to go to.
My boyfriend, 29M, was trying to get the attention of a girl he apparently knew. Which he was successful at, and when she realized it was him, she hopped up into his arms, wrapped her legs around him, and held him for probably 15 seconds. Afterward she introduced herself to me, and she said o hi, and went back to talking right next to his face, as if we were in the club. But we were outside, away from the club.
I got super uncomfortable and decided it was time I went home, so I opened the uber app and walked away, I was planning on just peacing out. But my boyfriend and his friend ran up and started saying “this is just who she is”, which I said was fine but I was uncomfortable with my boyfriend being fine with holding her up while she straddled him... I started crying here so I walked away.
My boyfriend followed me yelling at me about “what was he supposed to do, drop her???”. Him yelling made me cry more so I just ditched everyone and caught an uber. I’m at a calmer bar now, but I’m just wondering, am I in the wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
K2sfgWRMnEQsnSR6Zin4rESF06G3QUKP | aqy9f0 | {
"description": "being best friends with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being best friends with my ex? | This is a crazy long post but I feel like you need the whole picture. TLDR at the bottom.
Seven years ago, I met a guy in my college dorm and we quickly became best friends. Toward the end of the year, we started fooling around. I wanted a relationship but he didn’t. Fast forward about 6 months (and a summer apart), and we decide to get together. At the beginning, he didn’t treat me very well, not because he was a genuine asshole, but just generally immature and I think he still didn’t like me as much as I liked him. However, it is important to note (and you’ll see why in a minute) that our sex life was definitely healthy at this point.
Then, his behavior toward me started changing and I could tell he started to like me a lot more. He started doing things like waiting for me to get in my car before going back in his house and texting me nice things during the day. However, the nicer he gets, the less frequent sex becomes. By year 2-3, it gets to the point where we are having sex about once a year, not even exaggerating. By year 5, this has taken a massive toll on my self-esteem. During a summer abroad, I cheated on him. I’m not trying to defend my actions here, there is no excuse for this. After I got back, I came clean and we tried to work it out. We sat down and wrote out all the things that needed work in our relationship. Things like he needed to pay me compliments, I needed to quit smoking, and most importantly, we needed to have sex much more often. We set to work putting our plan into action.
A few days later, I realized I was super uncomfortable having sex with him. I had no physical attraction to him whatsoever. I think after a couple years of not feeling good enough, I stopped being attracted to him as a defense mechanism. We broke up. However, he was still my best friend, and at this point, we still had 8 months on a lease that neither of us wanted to pay to break. For a few months, things were awkward and sad, but after a little while, things got much better.
Fast forward to today. He has been an absolute sweetheart to me these last few months, however, I am still not sexually attracted to him at all. We are best friends, go out to eat all the time, talk on the phone almost every day, etc. He has bought me flowers once before when I had a really bad day, but yesterday, he sent me a beautiful bouquet for Valentine’s Day. This is where I started evaluating behavior over the last few months. Occasionally, he has used sweet nicknames with me or called us going out to eat a “date” (but like sarcastically? Like he definitely knows it’s not a date), but I always would say “no…” and kind of laugh it off. But now that he sent me flowers…I don’t know, I just feel so guilty, like I’ve been leading him on all this time? He knows I’ve gone on a few dates with other people so it’s not like he thinks I’m just waiting to get back with him.
It’s also worth noting here that he has extreme social anxiety and never goes out or meets new people. His group of friends is the exact same people we met freshman year of college, which would be completely fine, except they are almost all gone. The last two left in town have plans to move in the next few months. I have no desire to cut contact with him not just for my own selfish reasons, but also because he doesn’t have a single other friend left in town. I’ve tried to suggest ways for him to meet new people but every time I bring it up, he gets irritated and defensive. If I cut contact with him, I'm afraid he would spiral into a deep depression.
Okay, holy shit, I’m so sorry for that massive wall of text, but if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much! So Reddit, am I an asshole?
TLDR: Ex and I dated for five and half years. Broke up due to no sexual connection/attraction but have stayed best friends for a year and half. He has occasionally said or done “romantic” things that I tried to shut down but I have not cut contact or anything. I want to stay friends both because I love him (as a friend) and because he doesn’t have any other friends. Does this make me an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UwzBtzYwYJB9hOV2uD6c6xeJamrMK0qF | b8tsei | {
"description": "taking a \"sick\" day off work tomorrow",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for taking a "sick" day off work tomorrow? | Started the job almost 2 years ago and I really like everyone there. In that time I did take about 4 sick days, one being due to a car accident and another due to them scheduling me on a day I had booked off.
I'm in university and as of late I've been quite stressed with exam prep and we are currently in the hiring season. A fair amount of newcomers have been thrown onto the floor with little to no training and tomorrow happens to have a fair bit of them. I like the supervisor and don't want to abandon them however I would like to take a personal day for once.
I want to give them a 6 hour advance to find someone in the morning but I get overwhelmed with a great amount of anxiety and don't want to leave them in a bad position.
AITA to go through with this?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
rxBkYggT7iNr2TG7u9FZh9M02SnzQDsq | 9tafeu | {
"description": "leaving dinner with my gf and her parents",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | AITA for leaving dinner with my gf and her parents? | I never had the best relationship with the parents of my gf. They are a bit overprotective of her daughter and never attempted to get to know me better. Even my girlfriend admitted, that she is sick of their behavior, so we stopped trying to get better with them.
Yesterday I was about to leave with a few of my friends to train, when suddenly my gf said, that their parents are about to come over for dinner. I asked her if she invited them, but she declined, saying, that they just texted each other and they practically invited themselves. I was a little bit upset, thinking about them just coming over without an invitation after 2 years of practically ignoring me. So I said, that I don‘t want to eat with them and instead go to the gym with my friends.
My gf got pretty mad, unusually mad for her, and said, that I wouldn’t even try to better the relationship to her parents. Ok, I thought, it’s obviously important to her, so I stayed.
A few hours later they arrived (almost 40mim too late, but whatever) and instantly demanded something to drink. Not even a simple greeting, just an order.
I was already really mad, but played along. After a little bit of smalltalk, my girlfriend made dinner for us. She likes to cook and she likes to do it herself, as she needs her space and peace in the kitchen. Needless to say, her parents used that to lay into me again. That I would never do sth in our flat and so on. I just told them to shut up and went to the kitchen to get a few more drinks.
My girlfriend finished cooking and set the table. It looked fantastic, but for some godforsaken reason, her parents started lamenting AGAIN!
So I snapped and yelled at them for being ignorant and arrogant c*nts and that I would throw them out, if it were solely my flat.
Without listening to anything all of them had to say, I packed my bag and went to the gym. After coming back a few hours later, my girlfriend was asleep and locked the door to our bedroom. I slept on the couch and this morning, she left early without saying anything to me. We haven’t talked since.
AITA for leaving all of them alone?
| HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 20,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 14
} | RIGHT |
41YXPNytrXeg9aCy0dQaO161evQ0NowF | b5jp5p | {
"description": "continuing a relationship I know won't last",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for continuing a relationship I know won't last | Me and my girlfriend a both 19 so keep that in mind.
I've been dating my girlfriend for 8 months now and I love her a lot and think she's great. We work really well together and compliment each others personalities really nicely. I enjoy spending time with her and absolutely love dating her. In saying that, we both have some personality traits that conflict and our difference in life experience up to this point means we view some (sometimes important) topics quite differently. The problem is, I guess deep down in my heart I know this relationship won't last. I know a lot of this just comes down to our age, so I almost wish we started dating later in life, but wishing doesn't really change anything.
I love being with her and don't want to end it, but I know in the next year or so it'll have to end. I'm not sure she feels the same way. I'm not dragging her along, I'm fully committed to her and the relationship and I put my absolute all into it, it more just it feels like I've put a bit of a timer on it.
AITA for not wanting to end it yet?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
JLAizBLc2sMeVNC8EbQHln7ywLry6QTr | ap95x7 | {
"description": "calling the fuzz on my noisy neighbour",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for calling the fuzz on my noisy neighbour? | I’m getting old. Making regular plans for 6am on Sunday mornings, going to bed at 10 every night, taking care of my parent old.
My wife and I live in apartment. After an exciting night of Mario Party on the Wii we went to bed... only to be woken up at midnight to loud bass EDM from one of the neighbours.
This hasn’t happened in a long time so I just tried to get back to sleep, with some success tossing and turning until about 2 AM.
By 2 I had about enough and decided I’d go find the culprit and ask if they could keep it down. In our hallway I could hear muffled shouts along with the music so I went up stairs, it got quieter, and I couldn’t hear the shouting, went downstairs, down the hall, through the fire doors, around the corner, and now I could make out exactly what was being shouted from outside the apartment.
The slurred shouting was from a couple 20 something guys swearing about some confrontation they had already had with someone else.
Now I’ve dealt with some alcoholics in my life and this brought me back - the slurring, the misguided bravado; and I didn’t see coming away from a discussion as anything but an annoying neighbour. So I went passive aggressive and stopped by the building entrance to buzz their apartment.
Needless to say not much changed. Other neighbours were banging walls but their racket just continued, either oblivious or uncaring.
At around 2:30 I gave the non emergency police number a call for a noise complaint. After a few minutes they showed up and shut the party down.
Not at all certain what the best way to handle this was. The music started up again today at noon with singing at the top of their lungs so I just went for a walk. I’m all for them enjoying themselves but I’m so grateful that I’m not their direct neighbour.
Open for judgement and suggestions on next steps if the party continues into the evening tonight. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
IzxEkdHrhDVY6CvQysiRtDyDytjV2n8K | axkh5t | {
"description": "just going for world travel (undefined timeline) and stopping taking care of all the admin/financial aspects of my mom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA If I just go for world travel (undefined timeline) and stop taking care of all the admin/financial aspects of my mom? | I have been supporting my mom both financially and with admin work ever since my dad passed away, I was 20 by then. 30 now. I lived at home for quiet some time due to that fact.
However, I have two older sisters, they both have kids and thus higher expenses in general. But I feel like its not my responsibility to make up for their family expenses?
I have assisted my mom with an average of 800 USD per month and some additional expenses, for instance: dentist bills of 1-2k. And buying flight tickets etc.
Never really mentioned anything, after all shes my mom and my sisters helped her a lot in other ways, mental support with grandkids and taking her out for lunch or to holidays etc. Also, my oldest sister gives her monthly 500 USD. But thats actually for taking care of her son three times a week and also preparing meals for him. So its not really a supportive addition.
However, I am currently in a phase where I just dont feel like slaving my ass off anymore. Its really not how i see my life going. Also I had a tragic breakup with my GF recently.
So I am planning to go for some travel, while I am still young. But I know there will be a financial gap in my moms books. And I dont wanna put her in any trouble. I ve tried to reach out to my sisters and their standard response is that they have no money... due to kids etc. We will have a session to talk about it, but I can already see the same answers coming...
I am even willing to assist with 50% of what I did until now, but when I am jobless I will just burn through my savings.
Should I just go and let my sisters take care of it? It would not be nice for my mom though since I am sure there would be a discussion that will involve her. She tends to get sad very quickly when we argue about who has to take care of her financial situation since she feels like a big burden.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oRlH3IIh4SA1pDQIWLoyHVwYrFaHVHyh | b4o6yk | {
"description": "not giving up my seat to an average person",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not giving up my seat to an average person? | Me and my family decided to take a trip to NYC, I hadonly been once previously when I was very young so I was excited. Everything went well until we got on a subway.
I was sitting down, while flipping through my phone. Suddenly a lady approaches me and she begins to stare at me. At this point I didnt know what to do, I have anxiety issues so i tried to avoid eye contact and look down at my phone. Then I feel a cold liquid land on my pants, I immediately jump up start trying to wipe my pants off with my jacket and anything I could. I look at the lady with a shocked and confused look. She then claimed that I should always give up my seat when I see a woman standing on the subway before walking through people to the other side of the cart (not sure what the individual things on a subway are called). After she walked away I looked down and seen an empty cup there, so I'm assuming that she had poured her drink all over my pants, I wasnt sure on what to do, but me and my cousin had decided to get off at the next stop.
Being from a small town im not used to riding public transportation, and was unaware if this was an unwritten rule. I knew to give up a seat for a pregnant lady, or an elderly person, but not this. AITA, or was this person just crazy?
Sorry for formatting, on mobile. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vofJvNIeUY0rvzpOU4toPiW06bJImJhC | alwdxi | {
"description": "rejecting a guy bluntly instead of saying \"sorry, I have a boyfriend.\"",
"pronormative_score": 203,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for rejecting a guy bluntly instead of saying “sorry, I have a boyfriend.” | Hi there! I’m a 21 yr old female who works a part time student job at my school. Basically, while I was working, a man who I had previously helped about 5 minutes prior came back up to me and said “You’re really cute, can I take you out/have your #”. I simply said “no, I’m sorry, im working.” He then said “oh you must have a boyfriend?” And my immediate response was “No, I’m single.” He looked shocked, like he expected me to have a better excuse for rejecting him. Are you supposed to lie about having a boyfriend to ease the pain of saying no?
Just curious what other people’s etiquette is like during these awkward moments! Thanks :) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 174,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 29,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 203,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
VUYa7R7kaXhTkE0RIZAYxgpzMIbrhBlf | ab3ile | {
"description": "trying to apologize to someone who might not want to hear it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
} | WIBTA for trying to apologize to someone who might not want to hear it? | So my ex and I haven’t talked since ~late summer 2017. I basically acted like a clingy baby after the break up and have felt terrible about how I acted for a long time now. I sent them a text the other day saying sorry etc. It was to-the-point and I wasn’t trying to justify myself or anything, just say sorry. But, I’m pretty sure they’ve blocked me long ago. Would I be an asshole to send the same message to, say, their Instagram? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 14
} | WRONG |
sTflLZV112k7yW3kpPZlTQUegQ0wWG74 | b3dvir | {
"description": "wanting to wait to get married until my grandma passes away",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to wait to get married until my grandma passes away? | Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My brother got married recently and he had to deal with my grandma having concerns about his marriage. Mainly the fact that my new sister-in-law isn't particularly religious. My grandma is a devout Catholic and most of my family is as well. She was hounding my brother about how are the children going to be raised, what the ceremony would entail, etc.
During the wedding I looked into the crowd(I was a groomsman), and I could see she was visibly upset and beside herself since the ceremony wasn't very religious. My grandma on the other side of my family officiated the wedding and just read some bible verses.
Now I am not religious at all, I'm an atheist but I don't like to say it. The last time I told someone close to me my religious beliefs, they ended a 4 year relationship just a few months later. So needless to say, I tend to keep it to myself.
I'm not currently in a relationship so marriage isn't in my vision right now. I love my grandma, she's a sweet old lady and she's done a lot to help me over the years.
I know that if I do start planning a wedding, that information is coming out one way or another. She may just be upset about a non-religious person marrying into the family, but having one in her family would be devastating.
Am I an A-hole for not wanting to marry until after she's passed away? She's pretty old but if the right person comes along and I do want to marry them, is that a valid reason to delay a wedding? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Tuo9BbJ3yPdnxHgJXn7e5tKCAhxUpqV0 | a5kq5p | {
"description": "ending friendships over money",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ending friendships over money? | Friend 1 and I were out shopping for tools for work and since he’d forgotten his card, I paid for $40 worth. “I’ll get you cash back at the house bro”. No problem, but months later he’d still been forgetting to pay me back. When I confronted him, he told me that he felt like “all the times he’d fed me” (he ordered pizza and I had two slices, two times) meant we’re more than square. I feel like friendship stuff like that shouldn’t come with a price tag, such as the multitude of times he smoked my weed, or when I drove him to his doctors appointment 4 hours away on my day off.
Friend 2 asked my girlfriend to babysit his 2 kids, last minute, for a few days since she was on leave due to a work injury. He’d intended on paying her $300 for 5 days, or $250 for 4, but since she could only do 3 days, she said “How about $200? and he said “Okay”. He tells me that he might not pay her the full amount since he was planning on getting overtime Saturday. I tell him that’s unacceptable and a breach of their agreement, he seems to agree, but when picks the kids up he fights with her for 30 minutes trying to talk her down to $180. I feel like that was incredibly disrespectful to both of us.
Myself and these two friends have the same job, so I feel like our valuation of money should be the same. But regardless, it’s more about the principle than the expense.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
HagjzWHBcfW1N4ffIyUAQO9vNEk8aP7a | b42wqa | {
"description": "masturbating to my ex's nudes",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA for masturbating to my ex's nudes? | Basically the title. I broke up with my ex a little over 6 months ago and I masturbate to the nudes. My friend called me creepy but I think it's weird maximum. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
tkDrYxFlRRM163JxRAD6olKJ2f55Tifn | aksvt7 | {
"description": "asking for my jacket back after 2 months",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking for my jacket back after 2 months | Weird i know but i left my ex 2 months ago bc she was cheating on me, i texted her nicely and asked for my jacket back and she texted back immediately "my bf and i are fucking on it" and i replied "well i want it back, ill wash it i think it would be best if you have nothing of mine" and she proceeded to get more aggressive until i gave up. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
aiXDhvX9hEWt3Zy60cMPwsbwDIjT12TE | b4a8q7 | {
"description": "telling my sister to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for telling my sister to shut up? | My little sister (11y/o) is annoying. She always interrupts people in all kinds of converstations, only to give her irrelevant opinion on the topic. Not only that but she talks so much that sometimes i am getting headaches just from listening to her voice for hours everyday. I hate eating dinner with my family or watching a movie when she's also there. The things she talks about are also really stupid and i couldn't give less f*cks about the drama going on in her class or what her favourite k-pop singer did yesterday morning. I tried to explain to her why it's rude to talk over everyone and force her stories upon people but she doesn't care. In case no one is paying attention to her, she repeats the story a couple of times until she makes sure everyone has heard it. When i tell her to shut up because she's being annoying and obnoxious she doesn't care and just continues talking and talking and talking. My parents tell me that I am being a jerk for telling her to shut up and for saying that literally no one f*cking cares. According to them i only say it because i have something against her and that i want her to feel bad about herself.
Am i the asshole for telling her that i'd like some silence and that she should just keep her mouth shut for once?
I am M/19 if that makes some sort of difference. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
gB5PBiVwNPf0wUtZIiIEDqoPa9ZvPj3H | 9wu12j | {
"description": "not wanting to give my girlfriend's credit card back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For not wanting to give my girlfriend's credit card back? | My (F26) girlfriend and I (M26) live together and have for two years. Been dating for about three. We both are do okay and have extra money after expenses each month. I am better with money than she and by such I usually run the books for the household. We each have separate bank accounts but I write the budget.
Yesterday, she gave me her cc (holds debt has been paying down for years and we are within four months of being clear of it.) to hold on to due to the fact that she has ran up another 500$ or so in Oct and doesn't want to be able to spend on her card. That's not something I have taken control of before. Only a few hours later she texts me at work and asks for me to send her a picture front and back of cc so she can order some stuff for one of her coworkers who says he'll pay her back. Usually she will forget to take that kind of cash to the bank and instead spend it at her discretion. This has led to the cc not getting paid down. I tell her that until she gave me her card to prevent this and ask why he can't just order it himself? He apparently doesn't work there anymore so cannot. Weird, but whatever. Still a no from me dawg I am holding on to your card for a reason.
This leads to a large blowout where she has called me a number of horrible names and made many insinuations that I don't trust her. and it still hasn't cooled down. Earlier today I let her know I would give her card back no questions asked because truth be told I am don't really want the responsibility anyway. But at first I held my no position because it is what was asked of me. AITA for trying to help ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ZxVyRxY95UmYoOARyS9di5OxdIHTLvhd | b0wv5f | {
"description": "going to a different discord server today",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA? For going to a different discord server today? | My friend invited me to this new discord server. I joined so I wasn't really online this other one as much as I usually am. ONLY FOR TODAY. My girlfriend says she's sick so I immediately start suggesting stuff to help and so on. She explodes at me for not being on the server as much as I usually am. SHE ISNT EVEN ON THE SERVER THAT MUCH EITHER! I felt guilty as she said 'Go to the other server. I'll just stay here and watch yt'. I say get better and she replies with 'whatever'. Later I send an apology into the server. And I quote 'Real quick-
Just wanted to say sorry for not being online as much as I used to today. I..I know its upset some of you so again. Sorry. I'm calling it an early night today. I'll try to be more online tomorrow. I won't sleep but...anyways. Sorry again'. She sees it and ignores it. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rz0BAd5bvnpMqUX5KNwaA67ZINCu21Uq | apbg62 | {
"description": "telling the school",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling the school? | Hi! Sorry about dumb title, long story ahead.
I was in my last year of middle school. While hanging out w/ 2 of my friends (we’ll call them A and B) on the weekend, they opened up to me about how another friend (C) had exposed himself to them and had also been touching/groping B inappropriately and without her consent. I told them that it’d be a safe bet to tell my dad since he was a neutral party. (They were worried about how their parents might react)The next day at school, and through the course of the week, I cuss C out and tell him to go away whenever he comes around the two girls. I also go to the school about this. I just wanted to help my friends get this kid out of their lives.
Everyone (including A,B,C, and my whole friend group) hated my guts and abandoned me entirely. I went into a deep depression and the fucking trauma from the whole event still affects me.
C gets away with no punishment.
A&B continue their friendship with this kid to this day.
Have confirmed with close friends that this kid is a real creep. Tells girls that he’ll pay to see their tits, shit like that.
So, did I do the right thing? Is this all my fault? I’m still wrestling with this and I just want someone else’s nonbiased opinion.
:) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
fyVrleVmqX4FhmzQc0Izjtu7VrYRpeCq | b0nz9j | {
"description": "being upset about how I am being treated at work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset about how I am being treated at work? | I work for a medical supply company that does oxygen concentrator checks at a customers home every six months. I have been working there for 2 years and when I was given the task to do the check ups, shortly after I started I was told by my immediate supervisor that we have a log book that tracks what supplies the customer gets and other information from the concentrator. I was told to use the log sheets as my guide for the supplies and all the other information. For instance if Joe Smith in the past has received 2 cannulas and 3 tubing then that is what they get the next time.
This February I started doing the checks when I came in to work Monday and checked with my supervisor about scheduling customers that I didn't have done yet, he told me that I'm not doing them anymore and that he will be doing them from now on.
The owner of the business received 2 calls from customers that needed more supplies, both of which I had seen already. One of the customers is at a nursing home who stocks the supplies for the customer and calls when supplies are needed. When I went to check the machine I asked the nurses if they needed supplies while I was there and they said they didn't need any, the customer had inherited another customers supplies after he had died. The other call was from a woman who used up the supplies I had given her (2 cannulas and one humidifier bottle, which was what she had been given in the past) because she had condensation in her line from the old bottle.
The owner was livid after getting these calls and wanted to know why we were not leaving 6 months worth of supplies for every customer. (which totally makes sense) I explained that I was doing what I was instructed to do and as far as I know according to the log sheets we had never left 6 months of supplies. My direct supervisor told me that he had talked to the owner and said he had my back and tried to defend me but that the owner still wanted me off the service checks. I doubt that he did this and more than likely covered his own ass but I wasn't there for the conversation so I don't know for sure (he has a history of covering his ass). I felt like neither of these situations were something I had control over and feel like I am being unjustly punished for it. I explained as much to my direct supervisor but all he said was I need to talk to the owner and my direct supervisor seemed not to want to talk about it at all other than saying I made mistakes. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yWMbcGrhS1nBkvQXySyxBDAVpNv8PC8h | ax27cs | {
"description": "not always washing before making love",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
} | AITA I dont always wash before making love | Hello. I am a 22 F dating a 30 F. Am I the asshole because sometimes i am to damn lazy to shower before we go to bed and still expect her to go down on me? I dont think I smell that bad! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
} | WRONG |
bxdYbjJwwt2tCTYmYCjmP5LjzBNLwSHD | al35bg | {
"description": "saying my mate is an 'angry, little shit'",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for saying my mate is an 'angry, little shit'? | This happened today, my mate and I were on the bus on the way home after we had lunch together, and we were joking about and saw a couple of small terriers being walked. Growing up I had a Norfolk terrier, and I would love to be able to get one as an adult, and she said I should get a Pomeranian. I said no, they were 'angry, little shits' and she said they were cute and we were messing about. She said they were like cats disguised as dogs, and I said that was why she likes them (she constantly talks about how catlike she is.) Instead of laughing it off, she got offended, so I said I was sorry and I really wasn't trying to be offensive. She said it was fine, but didn't speak for the rest of the ride home.
the thing is aside from the fact I said sorry, she constantly makes fun of me for being short. I'm 5'4 and she is 5'7/8 and I don't get pissy.
​
Basically aita for what I said, or is she being overly sensitive? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
genIfQLFbk9OsUpcNh4nLZ4JUBq6tZE0 | amhrwq | {
"description": "moving out when my parents needed me to financially help",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for moving out when my parents needed me to financially help? | I graduated from college about a year ago and got a nice job in my hometown in my field. My parents said that I could move in with them and save up money.
About a month into living back at home my father was in a car accident that made his already existing spinal issues worse. He does physical labor and could not do his job anymore. His doctor wrote him a note saying that he was unable to work and his place of employment gave him six months of full salary/benefits.
About this time he also started a lawsuit with the insurance company since he would need to have surgery on his back.
We live in a trailer on a piece of land that we don't own. Our landlord passed away recently and her son is from out of state. He is trying to sell our land instead of collecting payments. My dad pulled $12k, which was all he had, out of his 401k to help pay for the land, but he spent all of it on random things (mostly vehicle related) before putting anything down on the land.
When he was unable to work I agreed to help pay some bills. I have paid about $400 in bills per month, taken myself off of his insurance plan to get one from my workplace, and got my own cell phone plan.
My mom only makes around $2.2k/month as a store manager. He would periodically take money out of her bank account before the next month when he got paid.
About last September I realized that my dad was living paycheck-to-paycheck on $6k/month when our bills are around $2.5k/month. I knew he bought prescription drugs but now it seemed like that was all he was spending his money on. I had a chat with him and asked him to think about the future; if he was struggling to make ends meet with $6k/month how would he do it with nothing? Then he broke down to me saying he wants to quit buying pills and he swears they help with his back.
He also had back surgery around October. The surgery did not help his back issues at all and now he has $30k in medical debt to pay off. He applied for disability, but that could take 6 months to kick in.
January 1 was his last paycheck. I thought he had been saving up after our chat but apparently not. He said I needed to pay off my mom's car by putting $5k down. He promised he would pay me back when the lawsuit goes through (which I don't know if it will and even if it does, he has never paid me back before). I refused to pay off my mom's car. I told him I was living at home to save up money and I have tried to make it easier by paying bills and reducing the cost of their bills. Then I told my parents I was going to move out and began looking for a new place to live.
I was not about to go down with my parents because they lack financial planning. Now they both don't have a 401k, one has a meh job, and the other cannot work. Neither have savings.
I moved into the new apartment yesterday. Something else also happened yesterday, my workplace began offering early retirement plans to everyone over 62. I think this means layoffs are in the future, but I do have enough saved up to live on until I find another job if worse comes to worse.
My parents haven't spoken to me yet, but I know they are upset. I feel bad too because I love my parents, but I felt like I had to put myself first.
TL;DR: My dad lost his job after an auto accident. Pulled all of his retirement money out and didn't spend it on anything meaningful. He got addicted to prescription drugs. I tried to help with bills. When his money ran out he wanted me to pay off my mom's car; I refused and moved out. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
fB7Pai3vct10eGGfQpFJqmaWYTsnqpfk | a6wiz4 | {
"description": "avoiding a mentally challenged coworker and kinda disliking him",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for avoiding a mentally challenged coworker and kinda disliking him? | I do not dislike him because he is mentally challenged. I dislike him and avoid him because he either shits himself or doesn’t wipe at all after he uses the bathroom, it’s a very strong rancid smell that lingers everywhere he goes. I have told both my bosses about it and they haven’t done anything. I’m not saying he should be fired at all, they should at least talk to him about it though. It is very unfair and unpleasant to me and the rest of his coworkers to have to work smelling that, also it’s very unfair to the customers having to shop for groceries smelling that(we are stockers at a supermarket) AITA for thinking this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rciaJQNu58RTZPxzPlob8czar1b0rpG4 | a76n9k | {
"description": "not liking my family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not liking my family | As a bit of background information, my family is divorced and I am living (90%) of the time with my sister and my mom. I love them, but I feel as if I don't get along with them or agree in their morals or ways of thinking. My mom has a good heart, but she has caused me so much trouble in life when it comes to relationships with others, emotional / physical abuse, and her narcissistic behavior that has just broken that close bond that was previously there. My sister also has a good heart, but our personalities differ greatly. As I briefly mentioned earlier, she genuinely cares about me and wants the best for me. I had surgery this past Friday and she was crying for me and bringing me food / water when I was unable to do so. This being said, she is irresponsible when it comes to partying, her friends are bad influences, and her boyfriend doesn't care / encourages this type of behavior. I recognize this isn't all her fault as her boyfriend and friends aren't good influences, but I believe she knows some of what she does is wrong and I have told her before. She's very immature and doesn't take criticism well. Objectively, I believe my mom and sister can live whatever life they want. Have at it. I just don't want to be a part of it. The reason I'm asking if I'm an asshole is because today my mom and sister both were upset with how much (they claim) I am an asshole to them. They claim I take their company and care for granted, and I treat them like shit. To an extent I feel as if I do take their company and care for granted ; but only due to the fact that I literally can't sustain myself as a 17 year old kid in high school. I have no other choice. This conversation originally derived from my sister asking me what I was talking about with my friend in my room and I told her to mind her own business and I didn't want to talk about it.
I don't yell at my family or argue with them much, I just avoid them and keep conversation to a minimum. After college, I plan to move away and start my own life; without any of their interference. At all. Am I an asshole for wanting this? Am I an asshole for not liking my family in general? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
RynTHEJxHl7ovtlST5DqzLjHa4UfkwYO | an7zjm | {
"description": "doing this thing",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA If i do this thing | My ex and I have the same birthday
We got together about this time last year, and during our whole relationship she was actively manipulating me and verbally degrading me, while using me as an ATM
We met when we were 15, I'm 22 now.
We dated 3 separate times in HS, and admittedly I was an idiot for going back to her, but she ghosted me 3 separate occasions
Today is my birthday, and also hers
When we broke up this last time, she left a copy of Moulin Rouge at my house.
Am I the asshole if I return her movie to her (she specifically requested that i return the movie to her) with a note saying something to the effect of "happy birthday, wish you never got one?"
Thank
Have good day | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
fGjkC0CWJQWWXe5AFYWdGNwG54CwBmOg | ao4k73 | {
"description": "agreeing with my girlfriend's cousin and not her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for agreeing with my girlfriend’s cousin and not her? | So just about an hour or two ago, my girlfriend went home and had dinner at her place. Being so tired from school and also our date, she what I assume jokingly asked her mom to prepare dinner plates for her and serve her food or what not. Her cousin (who lives with them) shouted to her mom something about her not being able to prepare it for herself or something.
While telling me that story, she expected me to side with her and not agree with her cousin in the argument. But I agreed with the cousin because her point does have some merit.
For extra context, her cousin is lazier than a sloth and had no right to actually say that to my girlfriend due to being an absolute freeloader at their place. But then again, she does have a point. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
QH522phv54vr2l3Qv6cOlykFHPeG2Dsi | anxas0 | {
"description": "not telling my buddy that I used to bang his new girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | WIBTA if I didn't tell my buddy that I used to bang his new girlfriend? | So a very good friend of mine finally started dating a girl after his very messy ugly divorce. And as it so happens she is an old booty call of mine from like 2 years ago.
Things between me and her were nothing other than physical. I actually ended things with her because I fell for another girl that I am now currently engaged to. And I also know for a fact that she doesn't have any sort of feelings towards me either.
But unfortunately my buddy has some real bad jealousy issues that I can only imagine would be made worse by his divorce. The girl he is dating I do really like (platonically) and think will be very good for him, but I also know if he finds out we used to bang it will freak him out and he would end what could be a good relationship.
I feel dirty about keeping it from him but I also think it would definitely be for the better. So I am kinda torn if keeping that secret from him would make me an asshole. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
uZfvukM197JmL1IKRdvUMg8xHiLSM0Lb | b54nkx | {
"description": "wanting to go home because I'm sick",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to go home because I'm sick? | Backstory: I'm currently in my early teens. I became sick around 2 days ago, and I became slightly better but still sick. I now only have an extremely dry throat. (Sorry for any grammar errors)
---
Earlier today went shopping with my mom for new bedsheets. While shopping I finished both of my water bottles, so breathing became very difficult because where
Where I live the air is very dry and that didn't help my throat. I then told my mom about how it was becoming painful to breathe and talk, and she ignored that and continued shopping. 5 minutes later I told her again and she told me that we needed to go to Bostbo so I had to endure it longer.
At this point I couldn't swallow.
Before she drove me to Bostbo, I could barely breathe at all. I told her again and she very angrily agreed to going home.
Just now I saw her again and she gave me very dirty looks. I asked her:
Me: "Why do you look so mad?"
Mom: "Because of you."
Me: "What? Why?"
Mom: "Because you always complain about EVERYTHING and now we didn't get to go to Bostbo. Your throat doesn't hurt that much." (I wasn't exaggerating about it being painful to breathe)
She goes upstairs and just leaves me downstairs. Now I don't know how to feel about that...
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UWcs2HdZxxu0jjRsYfve6mJxAwNX3uOR | a6z3bu | {
"description": "saying that middle eastern people should not be on a game's Europe servers",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for saying that Middle Eastern people should not be on a game’s Europe servers? | Basically there is no Middle Eastern server so they are forced to play on Europe. I made a post to the games subreddit asking for Middle Eastern servers as they have a massive advantage over other people due to ping. A mod then banned me for being racist. The make or break sentence I used was “they play like absolute scum”. Nowhere did I say they play like scum BECAUSE they are Middle Eastern. I would believe people who play like that play like scum regardless of where they live. The mod then muted me. I can’t see where I went wrong. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
ORyto4bzgJgXCAniOCOmRFUt26skAPIk | arlwlx | {
"description": "being upset that my girlfriend lead me on to believe she's broke when she's really making six figures",
"pronormative_score": 66,
"contranormative_score": 85
} | AITA for being upset that my girlfriend lead me on to believe she's broke when she's really making six figures? | A bit of background here.. we’re both in our mid 20’s and we’ve been together for nearly four years, lived together for the past three. In the beginning of our relationship, I’ve been working a stable, average office job for the past several years, while my gf was working random jobs to get by. She wanted to get into grad school, but she needed experience in the field so she ended up taking $10/hr jobs bathing and cleaning butts all day in a nursing home lol.
Fast forward a year later, she gets into grad school. She completely relies on her student loans, so she’s pretty broke. I don’t want her to take out anymore loans, so I let her stay in my place for free. I own the place, and she pays for groceries, gas, etc from time and time so it works out. She eventually graduates and finds a job she really likes. We decide then to split bills 50/50.
However, she still says she’s broke pretty much all the time. She tells me she has 100k in student loans and that she has to continue being frugal. She doesn’t buy any new clothes, clips coupons, eats beans and rice everyday, still drives her 10 year old car, etc. I feel bad for her because I live very comfortably, so I ended up paying for a majority of our date nights. I love to travel, and saw that my gf would work overtime a lot (which really stressed her out) to pay for her share of the trip, so I just offered to pay her portion.
This continues on for a couple months until I came by her paycheck on the kitchen table. It was nearly double what I made!! I’m feeling pretty deceived, so I confront her and ask about it. She says she does make a good amount, but she has nearly a $1k student loan payment every month as well. She says she’s been making 3x the min payment to get rid of the student loans ASAP. At this point, I’m just thinking about all the expensive dinner dates I paid, all the trips I paid for, nice gifts, etc. It adds up to be a lot. She doesn’t see it from my point of view, saying she never asked for expensive dinners or trips.. but she would constantly say she was “broke,” which led me to think she was struggling.
And yes, I never asked about her salary because I thought she was going to be making an average amount like myself. She’s in the medical field, which I’m not familiar with and she has the word “assistant” in her job title. I didn’t think someone could go from making $20k/year to six figures, honestly.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 75,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 30,
"INFO": 4
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 66,
"WRONG": 85
} | WRONG |
yJKYA7g2V7Av7flxJxcyy9vzY1YtblPS | aqq12a | {
"description": "embezzling from students",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA: Embezzling from students | Every year, the upperclassmen at my high school participate in a huge Assassins tournament. It's a great school tradition and I had great fun doing it.
Students compete in teams of three, and each team submits a $15 registration fee. With at least 100 groups, that adds up to about $1,500 in the hands of one Senior, with no oversight from staff. The official manual, published via Instagram, stipulates that 60% of the proceeds go to the first-place team and 20% to second place. That leaves 20%, or about $300, not accounted for.
I commented on the Inatagram post, politely asking for clarification. She immediately lashed out in very insolent, derisive terms against "y'all," presumably the Juniors or the student body in general and said we're lucky she doesn't take 50%. I reposted the comment thread and stated that I don't approve of her profiting off of student money in a way which was not disclosed beforehand and which no one consented to, but no one wanted to hear it and everyone thought I was just complaining about something trivial and trying to run their game.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
J80WoENKHQaniyY2vKgCLuV5iXz2WgBO | akogfr | {
"description": "having Slight Road rage while driving to work during a snowstorm",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For Having Slight Road Rage While Driving To Work During A Snowstorm? | I live in Wisconsin and we have a Winter Storm Warning going on currently where we are expected to receive 7-13 inches. The heaviest snow was supposed to fall last night and into this morning which made the roads pretty bad. I was expecting all this going into my drive this morning, so before I begin to complain, I will admit, I am the asshole. However, I want to see how many others feel the same way as I do when driving along others during snow storms.
So the first thing that started to tick me off is that I was driving on the freeway in the left side lane. The freeway has 4 lanes, but the two far left lanes were the best in terms of mostly cleared of snow. You could see the actual road in my lane so it was smooth riding for the most part. I was pleasantly surprised by all of this and was starting to think it would be a quick ride until I caught up to the car in front of me (lets call him X). There were literally 0 cars ahead of X for at least a mile, but he/she decided to continue going 20mph on a 70mph freeway. Normally I just cruise behind cars like this at a safe distance due to the circumstances of the snow, but we were literally driving on solid pavement, with snow in between the tires and the road, and there were 0 cars in front of X. I didn't do anything reckless; I just stayed behind for the 10 miles I had too before finally finding a clear lane to pass him in without causing any issues.
That was the first thing that happened that started to make my road rage boil. I thought that was the worst thing that could have happened, but no. Shortly after passing X, three cars entered on the same freeway about a mile ahead of me. They all went into the second left lane (the one to the right of me) as it was the clearest compared to the far right lanes. No problem. I was cruising around 40 mph with no one ahead of me and was happy. But, for whatever reason, the 2nd car (Car Y) from the 3 that entered on the freeway ahead of me, decided to merge into my lane about 1/4 mile in front of me. Now, I was going 40mph while all 3 of the cars were going around 25mph, but Y apparently didn't care about me. Right when he merged, I had to brake as Y decided to stay at 25mph, max. Again, 0 cars in front of Y!
I can't say for sure, but after my experience today, I bet that majority of accidents during weather like this is caused by idiots that take too much caution when driving which actually create more dangerous situations. The same rules apply when driving in terms that the left lane remains to be the fastest while the others are slower. This rule should still be considered if the two left lanes are cleared and if there are cars that want to go faster in the left lane! I'm not saying this for my own good, but more for those drivers who don't care about their safety, or others, and will ride your ass until you move over. Situations like this usually don't end well. Also, if you want to switch lanes, make sure you take into account the speed of the cars in the lane you are switching too. If I hit a patch of ice when I had to brake, I would have just rammed Car Y due to their lack of awareness. Even though I probably would have been at fault, I would have went ape shit on the person for being a complete idiot.
So, I'm curious to know how many others feel the same as I do when driving in snowstorms.
TLDR; If it is snowing, don't just think driving slow is what you need to do. Be considerate of the other drivers on the road because not everyone is going to drive slow. Don't trust other drivers. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
DOv8mcWjf5codOCOKKygug1VrkkDKY7f | a6oddm | {
"description": "ending a friendship feels me drowning for years",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ending a friendship feels me drowning for years | Background: Earlier, in the highscool 1st grade, i make a friend group which i enjoy to be together for a long time. we were playing LoL, cs go and stuff like that. it was pretty much thing for me those times. around the middle of 2nd grade, i felt like i've done nothing but playing games, sitting in class all day, talking nothing but games with friends. there were few things we do outside the school, eating wraps and going to a shitty game exposition. i tried to change my friends smoothly, w.out breaking hearts, which i failed. they were not open to new things those times. so i try to find new friends. i failed this too. i couldnt find ppl that i can hang with. most of them was real a.holes and the non a.holes were away from my reach. so i gave up my search and try to push my friends to be a little bit more active irl. it work a bit, we were going to the coast to "play" and going to drink sth(not alcohol!). it was better, but not the way i wanted. btw i gotta tell i wasnt so different from them, about being such a nerdy pussy. but i wasnt pleasured from this situation, tried to change sth, though i failed mostly. this continued until the early 4th grade.
​
we change our schools together. but i was really bored from them those times. in my perspective, we were doing actual nothing. there were only toxic jokes and meaningless, emptied conversations. one day they mock with my parents political aspect, my parents are conservative but im not, and they were doing this for years, since i tell them about my family. they were also mocking at me like im a conservative too and they do this despite they know im not one. i just couldnt stand it and walk away to class. they tried to make peace w me but i decided it already. i just didnt talk them, literally, which wasnt my intention at first, but it happened that way. i was friendless over a month. but i cut off my bonds with them in the end.
​
i feel like im the asshole in here but, after a year from our seperation, i feel a big relief. nothing happened as i wanted but its cool now. everyone has their own way, mostly happy. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
DVUZGUkiLbrwdfoOGYHiffly0YXhiWdd | afa9iw | {
"description": "not buying into my GF's preferred pronouns",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for not buying into my GF's preferred pronouns | So my gf and I have been together for about 5 years now. They're super into LGBTQ+ culture to the point of "YAAAAAAS QUEEN SLAY" on just about anything that hints queer empowerment. Recently they've confirmed to the world that they prefer "they/them" pronouns and I'm just not into it. The reason being that everything they do screams "I'm a lady" and I feel like this is just them conforming to the current culture we're in/friends they have. Also concerned that 5 years down the road they might want to transition or something as they're "genderfluid" which I don't really buy into myself. Of course we've discussed this and I've been super supportive of it telling them, do whatever you feel you should do about this, but it still makes me uneasy. Really do have their best interest in mind, only want the best for them but am I the asshole for having these feelings? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 19
} | RIGHT |
woChg3XNXrA5q6xsEtwfc1yiSo7f87SH | amvx4k | {
"description": "being mad at my ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For being mad at my ex boyfriend? | For reference: I and my ex are both in high school.
My ex boyfriend messaged me yesterday saying we should return to being friends after 8 months of dating, and I was okay with that because our relationship had been failing for a few months. When I woke up this morning I found two long texts from his (my ex's) grandmother asking me to get back together with him, to which i respectfully declined.
Today I went to buy some groceries with my grandmother, where she told me that he had texted her as well, asking to have her talk to me about it. Pissed me a little that he was getting her involved, but okay, no big deal. Then I drove back home and he was sitting on my porch.
Completely uninvited.
The day after our (fairly easy) breakup.
While my hardass stepdad was home.
So I got out of the car and I was as respectful as possible with him while he explained why he walked to my house with roses. I was already angry that he showed up uninvited to my house and now he was asking to get back together with me.
I have a problem with people who have to break up to keep their relationship going. I always have and I always will. He wants to get back together with me (aka trying to fix the breakup that HE initiated) after the show we're doing in theater, claiming that we're "soul mates" and "he won't ever find someone like me ever again" while my viewpoint is that uhm...
...I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL and NONE OF THIS SHOULD BE TAKEN THAT SERIOUSLY.
So I haven't spoken to him at all because I'm so angry at him for showing up uninvited. So, AITA for being angry? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UZQ8rEzHwfkZrqbFvakHpuE6eSwmEHt6 | aulua1 | {
"description": "calling it quits with a guy if he doesn't meet me for lunch today",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I call it quits with a guy if he doesn’t meet me for lunch today? | So I’ve been talking to this guy for about two months now. I have some trust issues, so to cope I start building trust with some smaller stuff. And since texting is a little hard to read subtexts with, I much prefer phone calls. Usually guys either say they aren’t into those, which is fine and I don’t push it. Or they call me a few times before we get more ‘serious’. Never had any issues with this before... until Ryan.
For a little background, I’ve recently had a small surgery and I’m home recovering. He said he’d keep me company and that he wanted to meet me so he could make sure I’m eating well etc. But I haven’t heard from him most of the weekend.
Also, we matched on Tinder and haven’t met yet.
Ok...
In the beginning, I asked him if he’d be okay with having a phone call. I told him I prefer it over text especially if I plan on seeing that person. He said he’d love to! But every time it came to call, he’d ghost me. Then the next day he’d have an excuse as to why. “I was really tired”, “I didn’t have my phone, I went to hang with my roommates/play video games”. Eventually I told him I didn’t like that he didn’t do what he said he would do, even if it’s a little thing like a phone call. Then he told me he’s just been single for awhile and would really like me to bear with him while he gets used to having to ‘answer to’ someone else. I decided that was a really valid reason, and understood his anxiety.
He did call once after that and it was really nice. We had a great conversation and I told him I appreciated his honesty with me.
However, since then he’s bailed a few more times. Most recent being last night. We were going to discuss plans for our first date... which was supposed to be lunch today. But I haven’t heard from him since he said he’d “100% call me after Walking Dead”.
I’m starting to get the vibes that he just isn’t into me, and is too nice to say anything. Or maybe I’m just asking too much. I’m thinking if he nails again, but on IRL plans, I should just give up and set my sights on someone else.
WIBTA if I do that?
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lXPuo9oQT1QpXOfJ7Hq4lJ43IhlrxMzM | ar5ewt | {
"description": "hating our hotel room",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for hating our hotel room? | A throw away cause of course, but AITA for hating the hotel room we are staying at (and currently in) for the last night of our 10th anniversary trip even though I said don't cheap out?
So it's the last night and the plan was to stay close to the airport so it's easy to hit our morning flight. But this place sucks... Just to start the bathroom has impressions of pipes (of the glass smoking variety) melted into the top of toilet seat. And everything, I mean everything, is rusting in there. Even down to the electrical sockets leaking blue rust because I assume someone smoked a ton of meth in there. You can't set anything on the counter cause someone leaned on it and it tilts so forward everything falls off. Also the glass from the bathroom window pulled away from the frame and I had to kill a bunch of bugs in the bathtub before giving our kids a bath.
When I mentioned to my wife I didn't like the hotel she picked out she freaked out and got mad. Said "We are not rich and can't afford to stay in the Best Western Plus down the road!". I'm a software developer and we can afford the $200 a night stay.
TL,DR; wife got pissed cause I didn't like the hotel she picked for our 10th anniversary trip. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
Tlb9uqvTlgVj51I6nH4aBQs26TDWJ0ao | aeulgl | {
"description": "asking my company to remove my regular customer",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my company to remove my regular customer? | Hello everyone!
Sorry for my English, I’m not a native speaker.
I’m not sure if this fits this sub, but I couldn’t think of any better ones so here we go!
I am a home cleaner. After every gig, I can go to my work profile to see my ratings. I have lots of regular customers, for example one customer wants a cleaning 2 or 4 times a week, etc.
Since I started my job (around November) I was a regular cleaner for this family who I instantly fell in love with. There was a pregnant woman, a toddler, a grandma and the husband. They were all extremely sweet and friendly, one of my best customers.
We get rated for our quality, behavior, on time and overall. The first time I got a 4 star rating on my quality. The woman asked me to use the bigger vacuum cleaner instead, since the smaller one isn’t that good. She said there were some small stuff and dust near the shoes area. I understood and was still happy.
The next time I paid extra attention to the floors and did everything else really well too. I went home to check my rating and I got 4 stars for quality. I was confused as to what was wrong, and next time I asked was there anything I missed, was she satisfied etc. She said everything was perfect and nothing went bad. This time I’m a bit upset because the ratings affect my pay. During this time my boyfriend didn’t have a job and we were struggling hard.
The time after that I wanted to make her extra happy and hopefully get 5 stars. I stayed a bit extra to make sure everything was perfect, cleaned the kitchen sink and got rid of yellow stains (we don’t need to do deep cleanings so this wasn’t necessary). I go home and check my ratings, I have 3 stars from her. This time I cry a bit (I’m a bit sensitive, this is also my very first job) because I like them so much and try so hard to make them happy. I feel like she didn’t appreciate what I did for her and she didn’t even say what was wrong in the comments.
Next time I ask her if everything went well, what was the problem, etc. She said everything was perfect, she was really satisfied but there was a tiny speck of dust under the nightstand. I asked her multiple times if anything else was wrong, she said no. Now her house is very big, a 2 storey house. It takes a lot of effort to clean it, and I put a lot of hard work into it. It hurt me a lot because she ignored everything else I did and focused on the small speck of dust and gave me 3 stars for it.
I tried to try again with her. Next time I went there, she wasn’t home but her mother was to watch her toddler. I paid extra attention to under the nightstand, checked everything many times and had some extra time so I scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors to get rid of deep stains and also ironed the clothes that were out of the drying machine (?).
I go home and I see 3 stars AGAIN. I ask my company to call her and ask what was the problem. They said that she wants me to pay extra attention to under the dining table, because there was some food on the floor. The thing is, her toddler and her mother went to eat AFTER I cleaned. I know she drops food on the floor because I always clean that area up. At this point I felt I was treated very unfairly and that she was ungrateful.
I told my company to remove her from my list and to find another cleaner for her. They said this and that, because customers want regular cleaners and changing cleaners/customers is hard. I stood my ground because I was so stressed and I felt so bad about it. They removed her in the end.
Now my question is (I’ll try to sum it up), was I in the wrong? Or was I reasonable for not wanting to do gigs at her place anymore?
Please tell me what you think, I would really appreciate it! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 53,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
tKfpIu2p1qFSaszt3ol8jt1kbQ3Jgup1 | asebz6 | {
"description": "asking my friend's widow for his writing materials",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for asking my friend's widow for his writing materials. | So my friend and I were both writers (nothing professional or anything). And he very suddenly passed away in his sleep. After processing what happened, I got this itch to get what material he had written for this fantasy novel he was working on and finish it for him in his memory. However, I want to give his wife (who I don't know well at all) some space to grieve and I don't want her to feel like I'm taking advantage of her husband's passing. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
d1Kc4HB15KCN0Tph5JvBLYcK2MaJy8UZ | a6xpxb | {
"description": "wanting to go out-of-state for college",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to go out-of-state for college? | I just moved to "X" state a few months ago. I'm currently in my senior year and I've had my mind set on a college in "Y" state. I lived in "Y" state for about 4 years and it's where everything I love is. My parents want me to live with them these next 4 years and go to a community college 30 mins away. However, A) I'm ready to get away from them and B) I really wanted to go to a Christian college. AITA for wanting to go into more debt to go to a college I want and to get away from my parents? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Rz03YqextJFPvNAdMgZFnjhxefMneZ0T | b6qgvk | {
"description": "not wanting to support her campaign",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to support her campaign? | An old friend contacted me a few months ago and told me she is running for local public office. This is someone who I met through dance class about 6-7 years ago, and at the time we would hang out in the same social group, but we were really more on an acquaintance level. We haven’t spoken in years, and we’re Facebook friends, but that’s about it.
She’s called and texted me a few times wanting me to get involved in the campaign, but truthfully, I don’t want to. I looked on her website, and I don’t necessarily agree with all of her political positions, plus, I’m not even in her district. So far I’ve been able to avoid it by telling her I’m busy and don’t really have time to get involved (which is true), but that I wished her well. I just heard from her again today, and she asked me to donate to her campaign. I feel like this is all a little much for someone who hasn’t spoken to me in years and is only contacting me because she wants something from me.
Should I ask her not to contact me any more about the campaign, or just politely decline and say I’m unable to participate in the campaign or donate but that I wish her well? AITA for not wanting to help her out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
TWldbMY4dsxDPeO54vR97vpvpvszHPUP | b4f4ye | {
"description": "ordering alcohol at a family lunch",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | WIBTA if I ordered alcohol at a family lunch? | Throwaway account. Can't be too careful.
My Husband and I are in our hometown visiting family and one of our favorite ways to see everyone is by going out to eat. Its just so much easier for everyone involved. We have plans to meet my Husbands side of the family tomorrow for lunch.
My SIL and her Husband have chosen not to partake in any alcohol. Part of this is in solidarity with her FIL who is a recovering alcoholic (15-20 years sober). Another part of it is because they are very religious and they believe it is a sin to drink alcohol. Not like Jesus made wine or anything, but I digress. Their lives, their choices.
Today while my husband was asking where they would like to go for lunch my SIL asked us not to drink anything alcoholic in front of her children (3+4). The big kicker here is that she requested that we go to a local brewery for lunch!! I just cannot get over the irony in her texts today.
My knee jerk reaction was anger initially. Who the hell do they think they are? I simply told my Husband that I am an adult and will be ordering whatever I feel like during lunch. We are all in our late 20s/early 30s, and plenty old enough to decide what we would like to drink. Husband said the choice is mine, but that he wont drink out of respect for his sister.
TL;DR: SIL and family chooses not to drink alcohol, but wants to do family lunch at a brewery. Asked us not to drink alcohol in front of her kids.
WIBTA if I ordered a flight of beers to sample while at the same table as my non alcoholic in laws? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
rv8AHz3T81IB08xrtqIu9UZYztBxz4IQ | aj2eln | {
"description": "not letting my boyfriend tell me what to wear",
"pronormative_score": 41,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for not letting my boyfriend tell me what to wear? | This is a long-standing debate that I’ve (20 F) had with my boyfriend (20 M). Basically, I really like the look of little gold necklaces and was online shopping for a few. I found one I liked that happened to have a little gold cross. As soon as my boyfriend saw what I was looking at, he said something along the lines of, “you’re not going to buy that, are you?” I was taken aback, so I asked him to explain. Basically, he hates any form of organized religion and thinks that people who wear these symbols or associate themselves with it are stupid. I tried to explain that I’m not particularly religious, I just genuinely liked the necklace for the aesthetic. Even so, he said he would be angry if I bought it and wouldn’t want to be seen with someone who would wear a cross around their neck. So, AITA if I buy it anyway?
TL;DR Boyfriend won’t be seen with me if I wear a certain necklace | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 41,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
74XeWdgCDa9ijLo4KRaALymB7oCz2woz | 9wi4ag | {
"description": "calling my spanish teacher rude and obnoxious",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For calling my Spanish teacher rude and obnoxious | I’m currently in high school even though I dislike it I still try to be in the best mood and nice to people. For the past 2 months I feel as if my Spanish teacher secretly hates me and has showed the class for the past month or two. For example I had my papers out and she ether takes them away or announces obnoxiously to the class how I have them out. And I will admit sometimes in class I crack a joke try to fit in with the crowd you know, but whenever I peep she gets pissed off at me. She also doesn’t seem to mind any students that say bad things about me or threaten me. It’s especially annoying when the students she likes the most are annoying when ever I try to make a joke or say something out loud she gets extremely mad at me. I’d also like to mention I don’t take the class seriously because the teacher hates me and I’m not going to be a total asshole. Today I had some one paper in the ground she picked it up took it and read it too the class while trying to sound like what I wrote down was absurd or foolish. At the end of class when everyone left I asked her can you please not be obnoxious or rude to me? She looked very shocked and started getting mad at me she said we’ll discuss this later (lol suspension). I feel bad now after considering the fact that sometimes I technically am rude in the class from earlier about the jokes and saying the wrong things etc. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
MFxso8RRGmZWSGxE62x6mR4lhcEfRhhW | 9yjv86 | {
"description": "telling my roommate no one cares about anyone and that she needs to go outside more",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my roommate no one cares about anyone and that she needs to go outside more? | Okay... So I (22m) have this random roommate (20f) who is a little socially awkward. She is extremely nice, but was home schooled her entire life so there are certain things about social dynamics that just go entirely over her head. A lot of times, I think these misunderstandings cause her to get taken advantage of especially since we live in a party-centric college town. She always brags about how in high school she used to rob people of their drugs and a lot of her friends were in gangs etc. She brags about it like she ran the game, but from an outsiders perspective it sounds like her insecurities caused her to confuse friendship with people who manipulated her into committing crime for them. The first week she moved in she was breaking up with her abusive boyfriend who she only dated for 2 months but supposedly hit her and cheated on her for the duration of that time. She doesnt have many friends, and is always talking about how people in town use her and how nobody cares about her.
Now, a few months ago I also broke up with my partner of 3 years and was also left in a situation where I had very few friends. There was a short period of staying inside and grieving but soon I decided I needed to just leave the house and start working on myself. I made a point to regularly walk out the front door without any plans and figure out something to do other than mope. I made a point to "do my own thing" and spend my time doing activities I enjoy and by doing that Ive almost unintentionally met a lot of really cool people with similar interests and I would say that I have a very positive/thriving social life at the moment.
My roommate has been in this anti-social grieving period for 4 months now and I have to say the amount of time she spends laying around the apartment (watching my tv...) is not only unhealthy but its gotten to be a little gross frankly. Shes turned the living room common space into her depression pit, and shell literally spend all day watching tv, going to work, and then watching tv all night. The whole room is covered in food wrappers, weed crumbs and spliff ash, and she sits on the same spot on the couch for so long that i think shes single handedly ruined it. When I ask her to clean up shell either pull the depression card, or clean up and let it fall back into a state of disrepair almost immediately.
I also have depression so I get this entirely, and I've tried to be kind and understanding of how easy it is to get caught up in negative thought pools like this, and shes expressed before that shes particularly sad she has no friends so Ive always tried to be nice about it (youre doing good! dont worry so much about other people! do your own thing! work on yourself people flock to self positivity! youre a cool person!). Well... About 3 nights ago she tells me shes going to drive 7 hours to pick her abusive ex up from the airport because she is still friends with the guys grandma...
I lose my cool a little bit, mainly because she left the apartment in terrible state and my ex had also tried to get back into contact with me recently so it hit home. I tell her "thats the worst idea ive ever heard, thats super counterproductive to this whole self respect/positivity thing. why are you still talking to this dudes grandma? thats kinda weird you should just cut ties. Shes only wants to still be friends because old people are kinda lonely and vulnerable like that and you shouldnt because her grandson abused you so its kinda a bad look and also a bad idea." She agreed and thought what I was saying was funny, because I think she appreciated someone shit talking her ex.
So that situation settled down but then last night she was telling me about her friend, lets call him Ben, who supposedly was a pretty bad dude. She bragged to me about how one time they robbed a kid of his drugs, and how he had been shot once, and how last time he visited he threatened to pull a gun on someone for saying something racist. Im spooked. In response to this I let her have it. I tell her how dumb it is that she glorifies crime like that, and that everyone in all these stories sound like theyre just taking advantage of her, and how petty it is to think I would be impressed by her friend pulling a gun on someone because they were offended. I tell her this dudes not welcome to visit ever again because I dont want to feel on edge in my house.
to this she says "you know hes my best friend right?"
I flip out. I tell her hes not, I tell her how naive she is to think that, and how shes just looking for someone to care about her and thats futile because if shes really looking to get out of this depression pit and find a healthy social circle shes got to understand that nobody inherently cares about her (other than her mom). I told her she needs to grow up and stop seeking fulfillment from other people, and to instead try to find it in herself otherwise literally everyone will take advantage of her if they see her just riding peoples coat tales begging them for affection. I tell her that she cant find fullfillment if shes sitting around smoking weed and watching tv all day, and that theres freedom in understanding that nobody cares about her because it means she has the ability to find whatever it is she likes and to do it with the knowledge that everything is her choice. I told her that this requires organization and that organization is socially valuable, and that whether she likes it or not, being friends with someone is inherently an exchange of resources (tangible and intangible) so she cant expect to just be innately favorable in this social hierarchy simply because she exists. It told her even though it sucks and its a sad game, its just the way it is so she has the choice to sink or swim but that shes not allowed to bring sketchy people into the house ever because I promise her theyre not her friends and I dont want to be robbed..
So anyways this morning (while i had friends over....) she put on a public display of crying on the kitchen floor about how nobody cares about her and how I agree no one cares and how mean I was. I told her I wasnt trying to be mean but Im very honest about the advice I gave her. Honestly I dont care about her enough to seek friendship, but empathizing with the place shes in, I want her to get out of it and I want her to respect herself. And I want to have a not disgusting living room.
TLDR:
My roommate is depressed and doesn't understand shes making bad choices imo. I was extremely blunt about the way I viewed her situation and offered some prickly advice about how not to be, because depression is something I understand.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YUBEgMn9J7B3zEvGhjnctJ0DPVtChpK4 | b5iy3x | null | AITA - Mom kicks me out for "not sharing food" |
Background: moved out for 2 years and moved back cause college is close.
Winter semester rolls around and we're ok for the most part but she seemingly gets more pissy. Part because she'd lost her job because of a bs reason. I tried helping her with job ideas. I suggested a call job, they pay around 11$ an hour, she was getting unemployment which is minimum wage. She told me essentially that I didn't have a right to suggest what she does because I wasn't a "real adult" and hadn't had a proper job or paid bills. (I had a job for half my senior year got overwhelmed.had college class a job and highschool)
We stop talking One day when I come back from the food bank we end up getting in an argument. I don't have a job aka food bank is where I get ALL my food, and since I'm considered an dependent on my FAFSA I can't get food stamps. I had used 3 slices of left over bacon she had bought as their used by date was coming up and I wanted to use a bit, my sister smelling the delicious smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen asks for some, I say there isn't much left and I need it for school, which she then says "is it youuuuur bacon?" That that 'I got you now' kinda way. I of course say no and note that since I was letting them have some of the 7 pound ham (WHICH I SPENT 3 POINTS ON). My mom then storms in telling me I can't be rude to my sister like that and that technically all the food I got was hers and my sisters as well. We then fight about this going along the lines of:
Mom: This is our food to you use our names to get more points!
Me: you said all the food from the food bank now is mine! You won't let me have a single peace of yours, and you even eat the food I pay for when I have money then promise to get more! And you never do! (She'd eaten many meals if made for lunch during the time I was at college)
Mom: but I give you so much! I'm letting you stay here for free!
Me: so I have to give you my food because I'm staying here and doing chores for you!
Mom: you barely do any chores! Look at the dishes!
Me: I do chores there aren't 10 hours around the house and I told you I won't do your dishes! (This is because when I lived with her before I DID ALL THE DISHES. And when I went to my dads for dinner the kitchen would have been a disaster when I came back)
Mom: I'm not talking about this anymore!
she walks off.
That happened on a Wednesday, Thursday comes I get half the ham. My mother texts me saying she wants me out at the end of the semester. I. Am. Livid. Don't reply.
She texts me trying to be buddy buddy the next day talking about a vacation for us to go on ignoring the fact she's kicking me out at the end of the semester. I express myself of how pissed I am. She says I'm overreacting and if she was kicking me out my stuff would be on the corner. I say:
Even evictions give you time to move.
TLDR: mom + me fight over food, she kicks me out then is pissed when I'm angry.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
fKriJbJY6ny2FBdrq9ttbbWh5ntpiX7P | b6e6yk | {
"description": "telling my friend to fuck off after saying that I'm a guy that couldn't let shit go because I'm seeing a therapist",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend to fuck off after saying that I'm a guy that couldn't let shit go because I'm seeing a therapist. | So this guy has been my friend since elementary school, we lost contact and reconnected in high school, have been friends since then.
Fast forward to Anime Milwaukee where I was part of an 18+ panel, we had TWO people overhear him saying "cosplay is consent." He gets banned from the group we're all part of and bitches to me. Cue to 2 months later, he still bitches and his wife gets banned from Pokemon GO for a month for using third party software. I told him to drop it because it's a game, who cares if she got banned for a MONTH. He said "You. The guy that can't drop anything and has to go see a therapist to talk stuff out." I told him to fuck off and try living my god damn life growing up. He screamed at me and said that I have no idea what I'm talking about. His dad didn't physically and mentally abuse him and didn't get kicked out in the middle of winter. | HISTORICAL | {
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FIwUk6YDBshF5VmrehKqDsJdXz93cwaw | b6uig1 | {
"description": "ghosting my former friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for ghosting my former friend | In college I had a friend named "Jane". I miss her, but I stopped talking to her because of two incidents.
​
The 1st one was dealing with her long time crush, "Stan". She had already told to him that she liked him. He never responded to her so she moved on and still was friends with him. Good for her, right? No.
​
He kept being a jerk to her about her hanging out with other guys (platonically or romantically). Before he graduated, their mutual friends had an intervention and asked him what his deal was. He confessed that he liked Jane but didn't feel like he could ask her out. Once Stan graduated I thought it would get better. But he came back. He just hung around campus all the time and looked for her. I was started to get annoyed because it was clear he was a creep.
​
When Jane graduated, a couple of friends wanted to go to a concert in my hometown. I didn't want to go but I didn't want Jane to go alone. Then Stan was going to go, too. The first thing he said in the group chat was how Jane couldn't stay at his place. I clapped back that she was staying with me. I thought the whole thing was a bad idea but she wanted to go.
​
When the concert rolls around, I drive Jane to town and we hang out the whole day. Our other friends ditched us even though they had our tickets and hadn't given us a meet up time before the concert. I was happy because fuck Stan.
​
Then Jane's friend texts her that Stan is sending out pictures of dildos saying that Jane needs one. I told her that he was being a fucking creep. It's messed up that he would be so openly disrespectful about her. We agreed to skip the concert. Thinking it was over I took a quick nap.
​
Later, Jane wakes me up and asks me to take her to the concert. I just got up and drove us to the concert. During the ride, I told her that I didn't understand why she wanted to be near this creep. She said that she wanted to prove to him that she was fine without him. The kicker is that he didn't even show up until way late. And he showed up with another girl. Who he ignored in favor of staring at Jane the entire night. I was so upset that she put herself in that situation.
​
2nd incident was years later. After I graduated, I could only get part time work. She wanted to have a reunion between me, her, and another friend (never involved Stan). She wanted to fly to Atlanta and spend the weekend there, but it probably wasn't going to happen. She was asking me the week before she wanted to go and I didn't have the funds. I couldn't book any affordable flights andI let her know the next day. She got pissed since she had already got her ticket.
​
After that, I lost my patience. I couldn't believe that she was being so unreasonable. I stopped talking to her. | HISTORICAL | {
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YDJhKMvVJBj6dEhN3GF7UMfdUm1F0KVP | axgb4s | {
"description": "getting haircut",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting haircut? | I have been at my job for about 6 months now and have never been late or taken any sick days. Last week I started feeling lousy near the end of the day. About 10 minutes before the day was over I said to my boss “Hey I’m not feeling well and have like 30 minutes of overtime. Mind if I head out a bit early?”. Now just as a side note, if you have overtime leaving early is no problem, but still should ask.
On my way home I was like “Alright need to get this hair cut out of the way and then I’ll just go home and go to bed early.”. After my hair cut I ate dinner and then started vomiting the rest of night. I tried to head into work the next day, but was still very sick and decided to use my first sick day in 6 months.
I go back to work the next day and about lunchtime my boss says “I need to see you in my office”. She is upset and tells me she feels “very taken advantage of” because I had gotten a haircut after leaving early. I tried to explain to her that I meant no disrespect and that I really wasn’t feeling well. She said “well when I don’t feel well I don’t go get a haircut”. I then explained that I wasn’t performing at 100% and thought it would be best that I left rather then sit at my computer for the next 10 minutes working slower than normal. She wasn’t having it and started to get frustrated at my explanation.
I decided to apologize again today and reassure her that I would never take advantage of her or lie to her. When I told her this she said “Well what am I supposed to think?” And stuff like “sick people don’t get haircuts” so she’s basically calling me a liar I feel like. She also said something like “quit making excuses and accept that you are wrong” which really irked me because I’m not wrong (or am I?). I was sick... Anyways she started talking about how HR takes this stuff very seriously and that I shouldn’t have said I wasn’t feeling well if I was able to go get a haircut.
I was just casually telling her the truth and didn’t think it was going to be a big deal. I was well enough to get a haircut, but wanted to leave work a little early because I was feeling blah and wasn’t working at 100%. I honestly feel like what I did was MORE ethical than what she is asking because she’s basically saying that I should have just said “Hey I want to go home” when in reality I was just saying the truth “Hey I don’t feel well mind if I head out early?”
I am extremely upset and offended over this because honesty and integrity are like core parts of who I am. If my boss can’t recognize those qualities after 6 months, I feel like I am wasting my time working for this company. In my mind if she is giving me so much grief for this, there’s no way I’m going to be able to progress at this company. I’m 27 so getting lectured about a haircut is extremely belittling.
Am I the asshole for leaving work early and getting a haircut? Was it unethical for me to get a haircut? | HISTORICAL | {
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SWac0bWb6qE6bgDXHjuaduy8wtZjkz7q | b8qkbm | {
"description": "not being able to change plans to meet a friend who was willing to drive 100's of miles to see me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being able to change plans to meet a friend who was willing to drive 100's of miles to see me? | First, she is more of a lady I used to hook up with then a friend. She is someone I met on a holiday resort and she lives a few hours away from me, so it was never anything serious. It ended badly but we recently got back in contact and agreed to put water under the bridge and try and be friends. She had a bit of a nervous breakdown last year and is trying to build her life back up. If you want any other details on the back story, ask and I'll answer.
The other day, she texts me to tell me she is planning a massive road trip all over the country, where she is hoping to meet with as many friends as possible. She was hoping to meet me during this road trip. Last year, I opened up my own business with a friend. We have a shop and we work a lot of hours. In fact, we both only get one day off a week. The days we do work, we are usually there for 12+ hours a day. We are still in our first year so we are still finding our feet. We have a few staff members but can't afford to have them work full time & cover for us to have more time off. That's the situation. I don't like it but it's what I have to do to make it work.
She texts me to try and arrange the possibility of meeting during her road trip and see if she could make it round my way. I told her my only day off is a Wednesday, so if she happens to be near where I am on a Wednesday I'd be happy to meet her.
This did not please her. She got really shitty with me. She seemed to be upset that I wasn't doing more to try and meet her and said that I didn't respect the fact that she would have to travel so many miles to meet, yet I wouldn't change things so I could meet her. The thing is, this is the best I could do. I get one day off a week. I don't want to tell her it's ok to come my way when I can't guarantee I would be able to get the time meet her.
I got very frustrated with her because she then kept blowing me off, telling me she doesn't care. But when I left it alone, she would start having a moan at me again, complaining that I'm not willing to change things to be able to meet her, even though it's beyond my control. Remember, she is the one who has decided to take this trip. I never expected her to come all the way here just for me. I merely told her that the best I could do was for her to let me know if she was able to make her way near where I live on the day I have off. If she can't then we could always arrange to meet another time.
Perhaps I'm not explaining it very well. If you guys wants to read the chain of texts between us, here they are
https://imgur.com/a/nJs4cOi
I'm feeling bad because as you can see, I went off a little bit on her. I know how her mental state can be. But I really feel like she was being unfair and was angry at me for something I can't control. | HISTORICAL | {
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RLLnW0vGoI1q941I9GQYqsFmpQrTnZ9q | a6ntko | {
"description": "getting pissed off for my boyfriend calling me by his ex's name on accident",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for getting pissed off for my (F18) boyfriend (M19) calling me by his ex’s name on accident | Today my boyfriend (let’s call him Joe) of four months said “I just want to have some Joe and Shannon (ex’s not real name bc don’t wanna expose or anything) time!!”. Immediately I got upset and he apologized and said he meant to say my name. They broke up like 8 months ago and supposedly haven’t been talking. I was upset and said I needed time alone. He said I was overreacting and it was no big deal. I wanted to be mean and yell but I just asked for him to leave for a bit so I could down. Am I overreacting to the situation? AITA for taking it to heart so much? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
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} | RIGHT |
egHLmALeMv6nJkrXpsbcoiP2lrlVDiBJ | aofkcb | {
"description": "not wanting to go to my gf's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | AITA for not wanting to go to my gf's birthday party | I got into a heated argument with my gf over her birthday party , she planned her party at her friend's house out of town with all her bestfriends and she wanted me to go.
I told her that I was too uncomfortable around her friends because they are not part of my social circle and that I would basically be alone. ( I already tried before to socialize with them but it didn't really worked ). I am the social ankward type of person and I'm really afraid to be left alone at a place where I would be stuck".
I do realize that it means a lot for her to be around the one she loves but I know I will be uncomfortable and I will not enjoy her party , but I said to her that she should go and have fun with her friends even if I'm not here.
I told her we could do something only both of us but she told me that " She didn't want to choose between her friends and me ". I still don't understand what she meant by that.
Now she's upset at me and told me that she will cancel her party and all our other plans ( We were going to a three day festival and to a concert in a few month ). She wants to sell her tickets.
Sorry for the long post but it's really making me feel bad about myself. And I'm wondering if it is legitimate for me to not go. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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} | WRONG |
Xylc8ftjxxnEpHO4YtepQDvMieClwfcJ | aqmz8a | {
"description": "cutting of my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for cutting of my friend | This happened way back in 2017 and I have not seen him since. But I wanted to ask this anyway
So around 9th Grade (Canadian guy) in the fall of 2016 I met this guy, who we’ll call M. Now at first, he seemed like a really cool guy and we immediately became friends. And we hung out a lot.
However, around the beginning of 2017, I started to notice the signs of trouble. As soon as I started talking to him, my grades began to go downhill. I barely passed any of my classes that year. His behaviour was beginning to take a toll on me.
Now in Canada, we have exams at the end of every semester. Exams in January and at the end of June before summer vacation starts. And he skipped ALL of them. He began smoking weed and drinking and this obviously took a toll on his academics. He even skipped classes frequently. Worst part is that he would lie about getting laid by like seven different girls which I believed only because he’s my friend, I obviously knew he was lying.
It was around the end of the year and many people who knew M or have heard about him have been wanting me to stop being his friend due to his behaviour. So that’s what I did
He thought I was a nice guy and always had my back and I feel bad for letting him go, but I had to cause he was destroying my future. Am I the jerk?
Tldr: Had a friend, enabled his destructive behaviour which took a toll on my grades, cut him off around 10th grade
| HISTORICAL | {
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qbc0OPoSesZk74NFjcgBhEtdlaw55Dqn | 9v8umv | {
"description": "not letting my boyfriend take our son too far away from me to his parents or other places",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my boyfriend take our son too far away from me to his parents or other places | Hello everyone, I would like your opinion on this matter as I am at my wits end lately. My bf (m32) and me (f30) have a son (19m) together.
It has always been a rocky relationship and our son was not planned but very much welcomed by me and the bf didn't want him, had abortion in mind but when he realized I was keeping him no matter what (I told him it was his decision alone and I would accept whatever he wanted to do and make it work that way for the 3 of us, everything from not being in his life to continuing on living together) he decided to stay.
​
We have different backgrounds. He has 5 other siblings, his mom is somewhat NOT a housewife (despite having 6 children weird right?), he has not been raised to be a fucntioning adult. The kids always were on their own as mom decided to go work when the youngest one was a year old and dad was always away at work as well.
So these kids, are all nice people, but have not gotten any proper bringing up. Rules, consequences, and especially cleanliness were never an issue at that home. There was a lot of lying to get out of trouble. I understand, that that is what happens when you leave 5 little kids mostly to their own and I try to understand when the bf lies or does not clean up properly.
​
I was raised by a mom who went to boarding school for 2 years to learn how to be a housekeeper (but for the industrial sector meaning she was employed mostly in say old people homes and the like).
I have a brother who is 9 years older so I was raised mostly as a single child one would say but I learned to share and all that as my brother obviously was there we just didn't have much in common.
I was raised to make my own doctors appointments instead of just letting the issue get worse and worse, was raised to look after my posseions propery, to take care of things and clean them and keep a clean house (and when I say clean I mean just clean, not sparkling, not perfect, but clean). There were rules at my house, simple ones, f.e. homework had to be done before doing anything else.
My mom was and is a very patient, loving person who always discussed situations with me and taught me to talk about things that were going on and she taught me how to handle my emotions and share them.
​
Bf and I met, fell in love and 2 yrs later I got pregnant. The first year and especially the first months were very, very, very, extremely hard on us and me especially. My bf never learned to show sympathy. I had had a horrible birth (I thought the baby was dead and I was going to die) and a hard time breastfeeding, the baby would scream a lot and never sleep and I was a wreck. I knew I "signed up" for it, but I think so did my bf when he decided he would stay.
​
Now comes the part that bothers me. He does not take proper care of our son. He never has. I wanted to trust him, from the start, but he always messed up somehow. I could recite a thousand things where he put my baby, our baby, into serious danger. I can very well say that that kid is just lucky that nothing bad has happened to him yet while being in the care of his father. I have talked and talked and talked to him about child safety. We even had a special midwife assigned to us from 8 weeks on as I was getting worse and worse and needed help and wanted a professional to be there whenever I had questions. My mom sadly does work a lot and is rarely there to ask. His parents were no option as they live too far away. Even our midwife told him repeatedly what to do and what not to do. He never listened. He had no bad intentions but he simply, imo, thinks "oh well things will be okay".
There was a situation were, we would bathe our son and then dry him of A LITTLE with a blow dryer, his feet especially as he hated being touched there to dry him off and we didn't want any fungus problems. The midwife told us to be very careful, as babies, especially boys, have died because of electrocution from peeing into the blow dryer. So I made Sure to always put a towel around babys privates to prevent this. The bf never bothered which bothered me. In that one situation, he took care of our son after bathing and when I came into the bathroom he turned around, lifted the running blow dryer up, luckily, because right then the baby started peeing. I was mortified to say the least. I practically saved that kid from getting electrocuted. He had not used a towel on him.
​
Our son has hit his head so hard on our coffe table that he chipped of a front tooth at 8 months because his dad couldn't be bothered to look what he was doing and he had just begun to stand and hold onto things. I heard the hit and my bf was lying on the ground facing into the opposite direction of the baby. I was livid.
​
This summer I saved our son from falling down into a concrete pit, as he was standing on the ledge ALONE while his father was off talking to friends, having left our son out of his sight. If my baby would have fallen a certain way he could have broke an arm, a leg, or done serious harm to his face.
​
My boyfriend almost drowned as a kid because his mom left him with his older brother at age 5 and 6 alone at a public pool and he couldn't yet swim right! Because she had to go "take care" of the other kids.
​
My father in law once thought it was appropriate to hand my 6 month old son a lid of a honey jar! My mother in law was sick with the flu, did not tell us, let us come over for "tea" and spent the day on the couch coughing into my sons general direction, then went on to give my bf a brown, dried up, top part of a lemon squeezer she probably coughed onto as well while making hot lemon tea with it, to play PLAY for my son with and CHEW on it! She thought it was a great idea and so did my bf! This all happened while I was out for 2 minutes taking a bathroom break. I had JUST explained 30 minutes before, that we had started feeding him solids and were taking it very slow with introducing new food as my family is prone to allergies. Also no one in that damn family knows about the dangers of honey for a 6 month old.
​
My father in law also doesn't listen to what I say. Our son reacts extremely to sugary food. If we give him anything, like a yoghurth with sugar in it, he will go berserk for hours. Hyperactivity due to sugar consumption. So my boyfriends parents were over for coffee and cake and I said our son could have a little cake because, of course, he will want the same food we eat. No biggie. Let the child have some cake. But the FIL spent his time feeding our son his little slice of cake while he could have eaten it very much on his own, so my fil's cake was still there when we were done. And he kept on feeding him with his cake and I said no. My bf stuck to his dads side and said a little more won't hurt. Then WENT AND GOT MORE CAKE FOR OUR SON. I said I don't want him to eat THAT much sugar, my fil dryly said "well you could make a cake with less sugar in it the next time I won't mind." I was furious. Again. My son can have cake. But a child sized portion and not his grandpas slice as well. Of course that night my son went to sleep at 10pm instead of 7pm.
​
Our latest arguments were about:
​
\- my bf allowing our son to handle our extremely sharp knifes while sitting in his high chair and eating. Of course our boy wants to "cut" things now and he is welcome to, but with a childrens knife. No my bf lets him take our sharp adult knifes. And of course our son cut himsellf with one of them.
​
\- my bf giving our son his own blow dryer (our second one in case the first one breaks and for travel) and actually plugging it in and letting him handle it while he his blow drying his hair after bathing. Again I had to take matters into my own hands and took that damn thing away from my son as he started pointing it towards his privates and wouldn't you know a second after I took it he peed again. I flipped. I told him he could have the blow dryer but NOT plugged in.
​
\- our son having an eye infection needing eye drops and bf simply not administering them and waiting for me to do it but I was at work and could only to it later than he was supposed to take them. We had already switched to heavier ones as the first ones did not help the infection and it was crucial to stick to the times administering them.
\-our son got stung by a wasp, becuse my bf let him pick up apples from the ground while wasps and bees were swarming around them (this summer was so hot here and the bees and wasps were so crazy this summer). He did not even have his cellphone with him. What if my son had an allergic reaction? They were out in the woods and he had no means of communication. He didn't even tell me when they got home. It was me who realized our sons finger was swollen and he said it hurt. The bf told me "oh well he came up to me crying and I didn't know what was wrong. I guess that was it then".
​
\-our son was allowed to run around with a screwdriver, playing with it unsupervised, while the bf was reparing something in the other room.
​
I could go on, but I don't want to think about any more about these things. I am at my wits end. People have asked me about how my partner watches our kid. I have been asked why our kid wasn't wearing a jacket when it was cold (I put one on him and his dad took it off). I have been asked how I feel knowing my son runs around by himself while my partner talks to friends.
​
So of course, over the past 19 months I have developed a fear of leaving my son with my bf or letting him visit his parents with ihm without me there as well. I TRY to get over it, somehow. I know I migiht be on the extreme side, but...it's my baby. There is a time and place for everything, I unde | HISTORICAL | {
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nhYOIU0Ut94R3ZQbRGPDlZFBuQGsVKGB | a4k7tu | {
"description": "breaking up my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for breaking up my friends? | So for some back story, I’m gonna try to make this as less confusing as possible.
I have a group of 3 friends and we all work together and live in the same area:
Let’s call them:
Chris
Lisa
John
Chris and Lisa are my best mates in the city I live in, but they aren’t close with each other.
Chris and John are good friends and that’s how I met John
Lisa & John met at work about 8 months ago and began dating about 4 months ago. Since John & Lisa are dating we all go out together and chill.
Now to the story:
L talks to me about J allllll the time. She has been looking for other jobs in other cities around Europe but is now considering staying in Germany for J. She also in her 30s so looking to settle down soon. J is 27 and not super interested in that atm.
About a month ago, J told C that he wants to break up with L but is terrible at these things. C then told me this information. So I have been sitting on this behemoth of a secret while L chats away about planning all this stuff for J. I try to casually slip in that she should really plan things for herself and maybe reevaluate the situation before putting plans on hold for a guy. She is not picking up on it. Girl to girl, It’s hard to watch her doing this when I know what’s really going to happen.
Fast forward to last night. We are all out one last time since I got another job and am moving to another city. During this time while L is away, I asked J if he really is going to break up with her, because he should do it sooner rather then later. He says yes, but doesn’t really know how or when etc. he wanted to do it after Christmas, but then she is going back home for a few weeks... etc etc
The night continues and many drinks later - L and I are outside the bar and she is complaining about J not wanting to make plans in March for a weekend away and other things. I try to tell her that maybe she should call things off since she is not really getting what she needs from this relationship. She says “she loves him” etc and my big mouth just blurts out that he is going to break up with her and she should just end it.
She shouts at me, I go back inside, she runs to J crying, he looks at me, they walk out.
I feel like the worlds biggest asshole and also like I am in grade school again.
I apologised to both of them but feel like a massive idiot and an even worse friend. Neither will speak to me and I have no idea the status of that mess of a relationship.
Tl;dr - found out a friend wanted to break up with another friend- got drunk and told her that he was gonna do it. Neither are talking to me. | HISTORICAL | {
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iCeySw3RhrS24APRXrxELuTkerxo5jU6 | akugyu | {
"description": "telling my nephew he's not my favourite",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my nephew he's not my favourite? | Asian-Australian household.
We're about to have dinner and the only ones seated at the table are nephew and his mother. Nephew must **ALWAYS** sit next to grandpa at dinner or he will have the biggest whinge and throw a hissy fit.
To have a bit of fun I decide to sit down next to nephew. He immediately begins bawling and hitting me, yelling at me to move.
I tell him "Say sorry for hitting me and then I'll move."
He says "No!!! Move!!!"
Continues on until he claws so hard at my arm that he breaks the skin and I start bleeding. Then I insist he says sorry, he refuses. Into a cycle we go. Eventually grandma starts yelling at me to move and it's my fault for sitting next to him.
Eventually nephews mum and I repeat for him to apologise but he refuses and I leave but not after telling him "This is why other nephew is my favourite."
To be honest I don't think he even understood what I said to him... Doesn't make it right though.
No one said anything about that but grandma wouldn't shut up about me being an asshole and starting trouble.
I'm conflicted because I know it's not his fault his attitude is like this. It's on his parents and grandparents for allowing this behaviour but I can't stop thinking I was being a dick.
So am I an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
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gqujlq815aifwcfq5rVAQnb0TIxRklZd | anl8g4 | {
"description": "charging people for notes",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for charging people for notes? | In my English class, we have only a select few people who actually take notes during class. We were told to watch a movie and take notes on it as we had a test on said movie. During the movie, no one except a select few bothered to even watch the movie and decided to go on their phones and play iMessage games. Toward the end of class, we finished the movie and my teacher reinstated that we had an incoming test based on the movie. Not to my surprise, many people started freaking out and some asked me for notes. I told that I would give them as long as you pay me $2 (everyone who took notes all agreed that they would charge everyone too). They shouted back at us claiming that all the notes were the same and that it didn't take much effort to make the notes either way.
So I've been wondering, AITA for charging people for notes as they were not doing what should've been done. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 13,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
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} | RIGHT |
qWF2VqJb4FkUmg2HHju2r3hn3VhNq73p | a6kop5 | {
"description": "not wanting to donate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to donate? | I have worked at a very small company (3 locations, less than 30 people total) for about 1.75 years. It is owned by 3 partners; 1 of them is in a General Manager role, 1 in an Occaisional Pain in the Ass role, and 1 that never really comes around. Recently our bookkeeper went around to collect donations for the General Mgr. No particular reason (ie misfortune, new baby, etc.), I was told that they just did it every year. I dont get it. AITA for not wanting to donate money to one of the highest earners in the company? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
h4kfAwjAUTQKCyZnMGPyIrMtrqatYPEQ | b6tqs5 | {
"description": "not instantly stopping being upset after my wife says terrible things",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA If I can't instantly stop being upset after my wife says terrible things? | Maybe a couple of times a year my wife will say something really hurtful and it will upset me. Then she'll realize that what she said was mean and apologize but I can't just be like "Oh, you apologize, cool. All better now!" Then she blames me for making her feel bad by being upset.
The latest example just happened. Tomorrow is our anniversary and we were talking about the present she gave me over a month ago because that's just how she does things. She asked me what I was going to get her and, after a long day at work, a busy evening and trying to get in bed we both forgot that I gave her a very thoughtful, very expensive (not that this should matter) present two weeks ago. I panicked and said I didn't know and that I had been really busy at work. She said "Do you just not care anymore?" And that broke by heart because I felt like such a disappointment to her. I said that I was sorry and excused myself so I could go have a quiet moment. Once she remembered that I did get her a present she apologized for making me sad but then expected me to just snap out of it. But I couldn't. I was hurt and angry because she just jumped to the fact that I don't care about her because of a present. I was withdrawn because I tend to shut down in these sorts of situations and she got mad at me for making her feel bad about what she said. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mReXrR5o2FaBlvpFdJzTErOUf1JubtKS | ba0bmd | {
"description": "asking my wife to finally take my sister-in-law off of our phone plan",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for asking my wife to finally take my sister-in-law off of our phone plan? | My (25M) sister-in-law (18F) has been on my wife's (24F) phone plan for years now. I have a separate plan, mostly just because we came into our marriage with separate plans and never changed that. That said, we've always shared our finances, since before we were married, so for all intents and purposes, our plans may as well be joint. We've been married for almost 5 years now, and we've been together for well over 8.
Originally, the purpose of having her sister on the plan was to ensure that her mother could not control or take away the phone. We live in another state, and it was the only method of contact she had with her sister. Their home life was sufficiently terrible to warrant such action, so I had no issue with it, and I even backed that play.
Fast forward to now, and my sister-in-law has moved to a completely different state, still far away, has a job (though she is couch-surfing right now), and yet for some reason we are still paying her phone bill. I think as an adult, living on her own and getting her own income, she should be responsible for that kind of thing. I feel like my wife blames me for possibly leaving her sibling without a phone. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | WRONG |
Ug9nwmclEF4C5zDmqtrA1GU0BQBlK01W | 9yxpts | {
"description": "feeling my mum was insensitive",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for feeling my mum was insensitive? | Try to keep it short. My mum is normally a really love, kind and caring person but as she is hitting menopause is getting a bit funny. Have I been too sensitive in this situation and acted like an asshole? If my brother sees this he will know its from me so hi!
Im currently having a miscarriage. I was at my parents the other day and my mum kept talking about a holiday we are going on all together (siblings, my hubby and children etc). She is always wanting to get her next holiday fix. Anyway I was trying to be positive and not a debbie downer as that very morning my hubby and I had been told our babys heart beat had stopped and it was a matter of a waiting game.
In my group chat with my mum and siblings I informed my two brothers of the sad news and they offered their condolences. My mum immediately followed up with a comment that said, 'Great news guys I was able to get that holiday house in blah blah blah!!' I felt that was an incredibly insensitive thing to follow up on my miscarriage news. She also continued to keep talking to me about it even though I kept telling her I might not even be able to make it as I might need a D&C if my body hadn't miscarried by then. She blew up at me for being rude or something I don't know I was too pissed off at this time and commented on how I hadn't even seemed that upset. Keep in mind she had suffered miscarriages so should be quite aware of how I felt and that I wasn't exactly in a happy mood wanting to talk about holidays etc. She said I take it for granted that she watches my kids (she does watch my kids...but maybe a total of 10 times in the whole year and 2 nights in this whole year). I told her I do appreciate it and I was not really in a mood to talk about holidays as I was trying to keep it together in front of my other kids.
AITA in this situation and too sensitive? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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} | RIGHT |
jAplZBNIHoZQQ2w1KDgC6gBKpi9MXj4y | ax88ij | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend that I'll break up with him if he doesn't get rid of the dildo he got from one of his Instagram followers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for telling my boyfriend that I'll break up with him if he doesn't get rid of the dildo he got from one of his Instagram followers? | My boyfriend like the title says got a gift from one of his Instagram followers. He often gets gifts from them. Drawings, other art and random things. He posts a lot on Instagram like gayinsta "influencer" type of thing. I don't judge him for it but it's not my thing and dms he gets can it weird and sexual. We have had our fair share of arguments about it but we are relatively respecting of each other.
Now one of his followers who comments on every picture almost sent him a sex toy, a dildo. Imo that goes a bit far because it's sexual and the other guy is probably getting off of it. I told my bf to send it back because he can buy his own toys that don't involve a third guy. He told me I'm being insecure over nothing and that there's no difference between him spending money or receiving one as a gift. I told him that we should either break up or he gets rid of it. I hate being that guy and he said I'm an arse and controlling over it.
So AITA for telling him to get rid of the dildo? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
ViqndzWyCsIBCK22FivQpCq6VxgDYKuD | b2paoi | {
"description": "telling a person a pretty bad secret about my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling a person a pretty bad secret about my friend. | My friend was bothering me a lot today, or a lot in the past week. He kept on bothering and throwing me so I got pretty ticked off. He's an 8th grader and thinks an 11-year sixth grader is really hot. I told her brother who's in our grade that my friend thinks that. He was upset but not too upset at him, so after he pushed my friend hard and he fell over and start crying. I feel pretty guilty at this but I really don;t know since he's was being a dick in the first place. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
eKHFWoEGsPzYy0Qg4ApZyH5vsaIepi9I | b7bhlo | {
"description": "wanting space and time away from friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting space and time away from friend? | I have a friend. We were once very close, but the past 8 months or so we’ve been butting heads and fighting. About a month ago I told him I don’t think we should be friends. This bothered him. He agreed to work harder on our friendship. So far so good. I am still upset and just tired of everything. I noticed myself getting annoyed and frustrated with him quickly. I didn’t like the fact this was happening. I sent him a text saying I think I need some time and distance from him. I told him I don’t want to feel like that towards him, but just do right now. He went bonkers. Saying he’s tired of me flip flopping back and forth. I make a big deal out of everything, and his personal favorite “there’s something wrong with you”. Long story short he loves to point out what he feels are my shortcomings as a person. Fast forward. My dumbass who never learns, made the mistake of calling him. Trying to understand y he’s so mad. He proceeds to go ape shit on me. Never lets me speak. Hangs up the phone in my face. Blocks me. Furious, I decided to go over his house. I was able to restrain myself and stayed calmer than I thought I would. I tried talking to him. He just kept harping on how asking for space was such an insult to him. That he’s been trying etc. Again, I never said he wasn’t trying. All I said was things still bother me, I need some space. The funny thing is I was trying to do right. I was trying to take time and get to a point where I don’t get annoyed/frustrated with him. I care about him. I thought the right thing to do was tell him I need space. Instead he told me I should have never said anything and just ignored him. He even called me selfish for not doing so. Keep in mind we see each other literally 5/7 days a week. Am the asshole for asking for some space? Was that such an unfair request? Keep in mind I never accused him of any wrong doing. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
WdgsybFqeeTULuJ1yNcbtqcLBBv1mopv | a9tz78 | {
"description": "honking at someone blocking an entrance way",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for honking at someone blocking an entrance way? | It was one business in its own parking lot, the lot was full but easy enough to maneuver around in. I am trying to turn into the business, lady pulls up and blocks the entrance and exit by stopping parallel to it and lets someone out very slowly. After about 10 seconds I let out a light honk and give the "what the fuck" hands.
The lady that got out then walks around to the other side of the car and starts to help an old lady out. There is now 4 cars waiting to get into the parking lot.
Once I saw the old lady I felt like an asshole, but on the other hand the car could have easily pulled into the parking lot and gotten even closer to the front door.
AITA for honking? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
QnoaW7XGUiP9vDowcjaBXHBh2ztNAdNM | au100a | {
"description": "rejecting my friend twice and then bailing them during a mental health crisis",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for rejecting my friend twice and then bailing them during a mental health crisis? | When I was in highschool I was best friends with this guy. We got on so effortlessly well, had the same sense of humour and just felt so comfortable in each others company. We were both kind of awkward teenagers and so we found solace in each other. He was my first major crush and I got the impression that he liked me too but neither of us were brave enough to admit it.
Fast-forward a few years and we both left highschool. We kept in touch and met up often to go to the cinema. One day he sent me a text asking if I would consider going out with him. I had never had a boy express any interest in me before and I still felt so immature at that point (I was probably about 17) and even though I still liked him I turned him down. I think I just panicked at the prospect of it. He agreed to remain friends and was really nice about the whole thing and we continued on as we had.
A year or so after this my highschool friend asked me out again and I was surprised that he would still feel that way even though we hardly saw each other anymore. I turned him down again because we weren't as close as before and, again, he was happy to be friends and I thought that was that.
It was a few months later that I noticed something strange. He had lost a lot of weight and was acting very oddly. I thought his personality had just changed over the years but when he messaged me later saying he was glad we were still friends and that I had stuck by him over the years I told him I was glad we were friends too.
He took my response to mean that I wanted to go out with him now and made very public declarations on Facebook as well as an endless stream of bizzare updates. It turned out he had developed cannabis psychosis and everyone saw the progression of it through Facebook. He messaged me constantly and they became graphic (“where's my bush”) I was so out of my depth and panicked that I messaged him to say I didn't want to hear from him again until he got help. His sister discovered what was happening and messaged me some time after to inform he had been admitted to hospital.
It was about a year later when I heard from him again. He had gotten out of hospital and got in touch to say he would like to meet up so we could talk about what happened. I agreed and we met at a bar. He apologised for all the messages and I asked him questions about what he had gone through but it was just so awkward. We had both changed a lot over the years and the whole “incident” hung in the air leaving awkward silences. I could barely look him in the eye and after about an hour I messaged my friend to ask that she phone me and pretend there was an emergency. That was the last time I ever heard from him again.
I recently shared this with a couple of friends and they had conflicting views on the whole thing so I wanted to know for definite closure, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
67Gm8xZdvp9HHAjt3FFJ4zWwy9XXGftn | ae45uz | {
"description": "not letting my husband use our cooking utensils for fish care",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting my husband use our cooking utensils for fish care | So he has been using our measuring spoons for fish stuff for awhile, mostly measuring feed, mediations, water etc. I wash them but it does bother me. We got a whole new set this Christmas of cheaper stuff for a white elephant present. I told my husband this was great because he now has fish specific stuff for him. I then washed everything and put it with his “fish stuff”. Tonight he went in our kitchen drawers and got out my baking stuff to feed his fish and then when I protested told me I was being unreasonable. I reminded him about the spoons I set aside. I’m at a loss. Maybe you guys can help. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ER85fTCDXTkcBhJWlfmxmtub059n8azW | b7pw3w | {
"description": "wanting to go to my cousin's wedding which is on my fiancee's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to go to my cousin's wedding which is on my fiancee's birthday? | My Cousin, who I'm very close with, is having a wedding this year. My fiancee's birthday coincidentally falls on that same day, and she's upset that I would want to go to this wedding instead of celebrate her birthday with her. Am I being an asshole for wanting to attend my cousin's wedding over my future wife's birthday? We haven't quite come to a conclusion yet, and she's been moody for 2 days ever since I brought it up.
For clarification, we are in our mid-late 20's. She has always taken her birthday, and other people's birthdays, very seriously. Even asking if she can celebrate her birthday on a different day has been a no-go. Am I in the wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
z9tVGnn6QcVwUcr6WTaqQfvytRBUiV2r | b5h4h9 | {
"description": "being pissed at my friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for being pissed at my friends? | So I am in group chat with 2 other good friends of mine and today was good weather where I live, so I texted them after school If they wanna hang out. I've waited an hour and a half without them replying or reading it until I said "Okay I guess". Then one of them answered with no, the other didn't. It is really important to know that both of them were online on Snapchat and Instagram at the time (one of them even sent me a snap) but decided to just not answer. Then the answering friend said, that our other friend maybe couldn't too but after waiting 90 minutes I didn't want to meet them anyway so I just said " Don't want to anymore tbh". Then, 3 hours late the third friend joins and answers "oof thank you" in an ironic way. It is 8pm by then. I was pretty pissed at that point, since she sent me another snap without answering so I just answered "no problem". That was apparently pretty asshole like and both say I was behaving like a "son of a bitch" (we use it like asshole) the whole conversation on.
So am AITA for being pissed after 90 mintues of waiting while they could have answered me? I maybe shouldnt have reacted in a pissed way but I was also angry since this was not the first time both ignored me and I wasted time inside by waiting while it was sunny outside. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
hW0p9DjYFwnyccLHZRyD6eW8Ef8vbuu1 | 9uepxl | {
"description": "doubting whether I like a girl and not talking to her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For doubting whether i like a girl and not talking to her | So recently I met a girl online and we hit it off quite well. I live about 3 hours from her and I met up with her during the weekend. We barely talked but we did end up kissing. I now am having second thoughts about the whole thing and have told her I need time to think about it. She didn't take it well and I am worried that she will do something like hurt herself. I don't know how to say that I don't think it will work and this sucks because I previously said I wouldn't leave her. I feel like I have lead her on and I've fucked her over. I just don't feel like it will work though. What do I do? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6FRUHUrrgiWQjWrkglkCUi69bYlkL6FC | aoql6l | {
"description": "telling my fiance his mother is a sack of shit",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling my fiance his mother is a sack of shit? | For context, we've been together for over two years. I adore this man. He's so loving, caring and overall amazing. Unfortunately, he has a major fault, though: his spine is rubber when it comes to himself and Mommy dearest. He'll make a very visible effort to stand up to her miserable ass if she fucks with me, but he will forgive her any trespass.
When we first started dating almost a year after my abusive parents threw me out his mother started sending me nasty texts calling me a whore for stealing her baby (who I might add was 27 years old, 8 older than me). I showed them to him, and he threatened her to move out if she didn't stop. She left me in peace for a few months then sent another...And the cycle repeated even after he moved in with me.
I should have known something was up with the bitch then, but our lease ran out, we had nowhere safe to go and she, FIL having just remodeled their house, insisted that they'd built a room for us to move in and we could bring the dogs. Hoo boy, was that a bad decision. Since moving in, she's screamed multiple times at my fiance that I'm useless, to "make me" do things, telling him to "control your whore", complained that he "lets me walk all over him" but he doesn't let her do it (!), told me I should stop working because my job only benefits me and my dogs, physically assaulted me for correcting my dog while she abuses hers, asked my fiance constantly to buy groceries and other shit for her while complaining that we "spend too much" on OUR dogs, taken MY dogs out to show off to her friends against MY instructions and called me names when I told her off for it, actively undermined my dogs' training by uncrating them when told specifically not to or by physically restraining them when I called them to me, tried to get my mother to FORCE me to birth a child to GIVE to her, fed my smaller dogs shit they're allergic to, allowed BIL to raise hands, threaten and insult me, taken me aside for "talks" where she tells me I can't love my fiance because I "don't do enough" for him (I work twice as many hours as he does, he helps me and her out tremendously around the house) or that I'm disrespecting him by not having children...when we aren't married yet, are still struggling to build our lives AND agreed before dating we'd be CF...And so much more.
He's been super supportive of me. I now make more than he does, and we share everything equally. But for a long time when I was out of work he supported me and our furry children with never a word of complaint. He won't go to the doctor without a lot of urging when he needs to, but if he's even slightly concerned about me off he goes right away. We've agreed to share everything, yet he will tell me to take any money I need from his earnings, while he ALWAYS asks before taking anything from my earnings even though I've told him he doesn't need to. He doesn't fully understand mental issues, having been raised in a family where they taught him (and still do) that mental illness is shameful, women should submit to and serve men, and that you "can't" be depressed if you don't have a "reason" to be. (Hell, his brother and mother tell him he's a "faggot" and "not a man" because he protects me from them and never makes me do anything I don't want to. He knows I have food related anxiety, and while he doesn't understand it, he knows I often don't eat because of it, ESPECIALLY not with his family around; and he'll bring us both food to our room to ensure I eat. But I do wish he would say more to her than the occasional mumbled "shut up, mom" or "you can't say anything because you don't take care of your own dogs". When she's going off bitching about me very loudly I might add, he'll ignore her or try to placate her. I know he wants to avoid trouble, but AITA for wishing he would tell that bitch to shut the fuck up and stop referring to his partner in that way?
The kicker came last Saturday. The bitch was annoyed we weren't cleaning up fast enough for her liking, so she OPENED THE YARD GATE and just stood there like a fucking idiot letting my husky run out into the street! SO and I ran after her and the stupid old hag continued to stand there. The only reason I didn't elbow her in the ugly bulldog face as I ran past was because I was too afraid she'd grab me and not let me catch my baby who was halfway to the busy avenue that's only a block away. Now I couldn't say if my Weim pushed her way out on her own, but I doubt it because as I ran out I remember distinctly that her crate was closed; and while we ran after the husky the weim also ran out the gate and went straight for us thinking we were playing. Luckily we caught both of them unharmed, and by the time we got back my Monster in law had closed the gate and gone inside.
My fiance loves our husky. We raised her from a puppy and she is one of his favorites. As annoyed as I'd ever seen him with her, he told her this is why nobody wants her around and she responded with a low blow at me, saying my parents threw me out because I'm a terrible person and they didn't want me. I saw red and I fired back she should thank her lucky stars my baby wasn't hurt or her ass would not see daylight again. She screamed back that I'm a "pendeja" and that "it's her house and she will throw my dogs out onto the street if I don't want to clean up after them". Mind, SO and I were both exhausted and there was ONE poop in the corner. ONE. We clean at least three times a day...she lets her own dogs fester in piss and shit and NEVER cleans so he has to do it for her. Of course I told her exactly what I thought of her irresponsible ass. Even my fiance temporarily went from "she won't do anything, take the dogs to pee and play in the yard" to "I'm going to look for a house for us to buy, keep the dogs' crates and our room locked when we aren't around". I say temporarily, because he now says she does what she does and doesn't clean her own dogs because she's "getting older" and "it's just how she is" and he "talked to her so it won't happen as long as we clean".
I told him exactly what I thought of that. I told him my grandma who died of cancer at 84, over 25 years older than this bitch, still took excellent care of HER dogs and never pulled shit like this. I reminded her how he talked to her before and always said she'd never do this and now she just did. He went silent and promised me we're leaving ASAP. He also agreed to go to therapy with me, but I can tell he's still in denial that his mother could do something like that. (Might I add he was sexually abused as a child. I don't know who did it, but his mother's entire attitude is making me think it was she. Urgh.)
I haven't spoken to the bitch since. I don't greet her when I walk in the door after work, I don't even look at her if I can help it. I would love to give her a good smack upside the head. I hate her with a passion. And I told my fiance straight up that she's a sack of shit who makes me feel like a trapped animal and I wish I were free of her right now. I don't feel it any less intensely, but I feel bad because I know he loves me and also has some trauma bonding with her and I know firsthand how difficult it is when you realize that your birth giver is a steaming puddle of slimy frothy diarrhea.
AITA for saying this to him and secretly wishing the woman would just disappear or die already? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
K86IbmKXcJiCucXkPjiZzGholqUUQFVm | b6bs17 | {
"description": "wanting to cut my grandma out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to cut my grandma out of my life? | So hear my out. My dad’s mom has always been a little weird. She is from the south of Italy so from starters she has a very peculiar character, but she was a really warm and loud grandma when I was a kid. As I grew older I realised things she was doing, such as always talking shit about my grandma even in front of me, even though they are still together. My mom never really liked her cause my grandma told her so many things like “you stole my baby (my dad) from me” and such.
Now, a couple years ago my dad told his family that he was depressed, and my grandma blamed my mom for it. I remember one day my grandma called my mom yelling at her telling her she was the reason why dad was depressed cause she sent him to DO THE GROCERIES. Now I’m like, don’t touch my mom, she did so much for my dad. So I was upset at my grandma and I really didn’t want to answer her phone calls or visit her. Also she demands so much respect like me and my cousins have to go and visit her and call her, not the other way around. And she is so tight with her money. She has some, but she always asks my dad to pay for her holidays.
Now my parents are divorced now and I don’t have to talk to her nor see her basically ever, but since my dad moved to the city where she lives, sometimes when I call him she hands the phone to my grandma without even asking me. Also my grandma keeps messaging me and trying to call me. I barely answer and that makes me feel guilty but when I do answer she makes my blood boil by passively aggressively talking shit about my mom. Would I be the asshole if I just decide to cut her out of my live and block her and never see her again? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
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