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10w9r63 | I 19(f) is currently living with my parents and well safe to say it's hell. The constant manipulation and degradation is lowering my self esteem in the worst ways possible. I confronted my mother about it and now my family thinks that I'm the asshole that made her sad.For the context.Having my mom tell me I'm not beautiful enough and she wished for a precious beautiful daughter that would just do as she pleases.( I consider myself to be pretty ha ha ig) . She is never happy with anything i do and she's always complaining to everyone about it.I am working hard to manage my life as well as my grades. It's tiring when I'm subjected to the constant reminder of how much my parents spend on me and how i should better start earning good and soon so i can help pay all the debts off .To say, my parents took tons of loans and we are trapped in this cycle. Now they want to take a loan on my name. I just started college and i cannot bare to pay that much even before my career begins. My mom straight away said that she wants me to pay for my brother's college and that her precious boy wouldn't have to deal with much and i shall give him the best life .I wouldn't even complete my degree by the time his college will start and how can I even save anything for my future if I'm supposed to do all that.Neither i can buy anything by my own free will . I always have to ask my parents beforehand. My mom even uttered these malicious words that if they ever get a divorce i would be the reason behind it.She makes me feel like hell. I'm maybe depressed? Idk i cannot afford a therapist. Her parents, my grandparents they always like always set her mind that I'm her mistake. That I'm the fucked person here. Her sisters and brothers are the worst. We have a salon and they take services in free and her brother lmao he steals whenever he comes to our home. He stole thousands yet she still complains how i don't like her side of the family.I know my dad didn't want me as I've heard he didn't even pick me up in his arms in the first week after i was born as he expected me to be a boy. It's devastating. My mother's side wanted her to get an abortion in my time. It's a lot to take it somehow.I will surely tell more ha ha but I've written a lot !!! | AITA for wanting to leave my home after i get a job? | NTA |
10wbklk | Brief background to begin with. I am 34, been married to my wife for 8 years and we have a son who is 2. My wife has had a dog all her life and we have a dog now too, we see it as the family dog but it is on her initiative that we have a dog.Last summer, my parents invited all their children, with families, to a large zoo for 2 days with an overnight stay.My mother turned 60 and wanted to treat the family to a nice weekend.Just before departure, our dog became ill and needed to go to the vet. My wife wanted us all to stay at home, but I thought she could stay home with the dog and that I should take our son and go to the zoo and see my family.She was very angry and thought it was incredibly selfish of me too leave her with the dog.Our dog had problems with his stomach from time to time, but it was never life threatening.I ended up leaving late in the afternoon and barely had time to see the family that day, and the next day my wife came by train and joined us at the zoo on day 2. | AITA for leaving my wife at home with our sick dog to see my family? | NTA |
10wdprw | Repost Im a pretty independent introverted person but I have a good handful of friends I enjoy spending time with. I moved to another state and one of my good friends happened to be moving an hr away from me for work too. His church is located 15 minutes from me so he regularly "invites" himself to visit me on the weekends; staying over Saturday and going to church on Sunday. I didnt mind at first because being in a new state I dont know anyone but my good friend but I started noticing a few things. He began to expect me to have food stocked in my house and even the last time he visited mentioned "You dont have alot of breakfast food for me when I visit" while cooking breakfast for himself with what I did have in the fridge. Now for my out of state friends who visit I typically do try to stock the fridge, but I live alone Im not buying food for more then me. Also my friend has never invited me over to his place since his "roommates dont like visitors". Didnt think much of it since he does live an hour away in one of the outskirts cities and not to interested in going.Im not such how to address this. We been friends since middle school and we even went to summer camp every year together. It feels like he taking advantage a bit. I think I'm the asshole because I'm not following conventional hosting rules and my friend is coming over to my house. I could just be over thinking things like they offered to come over to cook my food for me if I didnt want to. | AITA for being mad at my friend for eating my food | NTA |
10wb86k | I have been working a food service job since September, and I have learned a lot as this is my first job ever, I have made many friends and get along with all of my coworkers except 1, She is about my age but she treats me like I'm way younger then I am, When I started this job I was very slow and in all honesty not a very good worker, but after a few months a found my footing. She was gone for a few months due to an injury and when she came back I thought she was different and ok with me now but I guess I was wrong, every time I try to do something she stops me, one day she kept telling me no don't do that I will do it faster, She acts like the shift lead even though she is not and basically treats everyone like shit. One day I finally confronted her I told her "Why are you not letting me do my job?" and she went into a long-winded speech about don't talk to me like that your slow and you don't take orders and you never listen, which is not the case at all and she told me well I was raised not to sugar coat shit and I know this an excuse cause I have raised in a no bullshit house myself but I know how to respect people, She also seems to hate men and treats all men like threats, No matter how nice I am to her and no matter how hard I try she just seems to hate me am I the asshole? | AITA: Coworker Seems to be pissed at everything and everything I do | NTA |
10wgg04 | So we've been friends basically all our lives. We did EVERYTHING together. Like connected to the hips connected. But the older we got..the less we talked and after 10 years of being by eachother's side. he broke our promise and left me. We recently got re-united after years of not speaking and I called him some names and just let out years of things I havent been able to process well and he was crying, I don't know what I should do or if i should apologize. So reddit community...AITA?​TLDR: I might have made my old bestfriend cry by lashing out too harshly and that might have affected our relationship moving forward | AITA for making my bestfriend cry because he abandoned me for school and girls? | YTA |
10wd1py | We work very close to each other, she knows I'm writing this. I'm 29(F) "Dual income, no kids" (DINK), but I was raised in a four kid house hold with immigrants parents who would do doubles and worked nightshifts. The coworker is 31(F) separated from her husband in April and has the custody of her three kids 1(F), 2(M), and 8(F).She got upset when I say she has 3 kids. For example there was a work Christmas party that she rsvp on going, but then decided not to go. An older coworker asked if she was going, we both replied no with sad faces. She asked us why and replied with "She has 3 kids and I recently got covid and don't want to get anyone sick" because we work at a bank with older people. My coworker got irradiated because I said she has 3 kids. She replied "No, I couldn't get a sitter". Or when she told she wants to get a Sam's club card and I replied "Totally with three kids that will come in handy. My fondest memories is going to Sam's with my mom and brothers"She says I say it constantly, that I don't need to because everyone knows she has three kids. I ask for examples so I can post them to get her said of the story, but she cant think of any more. She also always uses them as excuses. The other bad snow day in group text they asked if we were coming into work the next day, the two works who had kids said not because of daycare being closed, understandable. I chimed in saying I will be showing up. both said of course you will, you don't have any kids.AITA for constantly bring up the my coworker has three kids?Side note she got upset with me this morning because she told me "I got a story for you" I replied with "is it about your kids?" she thought that was rude.EDIT- she's sitting next to me reading the comments. Doesn't have a account but loves this page and me sending her some of the post. Loving seeing me get roasted and she said she won't come to my defense. | AITA for constantly bring up that my coworker has three kids? | YTA |
10wlb8d | I, 15 F, have friends 14 F (We'll call her Vicky), 15 F (She'll be Bella), and 14 F (Let's call her Amy) all are very close friends. Bella s my best friend whom I tell everything.So Vicky and I just got in a fight about her hanging out with Bella without inviting Amy and I.Background knowledge- Vicky is very manipulative and she is Amy's BFFBack to the story, so I snapped at Vicky and called her a "Manipulative mother fucking bitch" because it wasn't the first time this has happened and she yelled back at me that she didn't host it at her house so it was unfair that I was yelling at her. But instead of asking Bella to invite Amy and I Vicky asked her to invite one of Vicky's friends (let's call her Carol). So Carol and and Bella got into a fight earlier because Carol stole Bella's boyfriend so Vicky thought they could make up at the sleepover. Well when Carol told Amy and I we blew up and I yelled at Vicky. But Vicky being the manipulative bitch she is turned it on me.I have Amy and my friend (not her real name for post purposes) Lily on my side but Bella is taking Vicky's side and now she is demanding I apologize to Vicky. I told her I wasn't going to apologize because Vicky has been making fun of me since the start of the school year because I don't wear makeup and because of this constant bullying I wasn't going to apologize to a bullying, backstabbing, manipulative bitch. Now Bella and Vicky won't talk to me and think I am the only bitch in the problem.Was lashing out at them the best thing to do after months of criticism and bullying to add with my depression and mental health issues? Because I usually have a very calm demeanor and don't snap.So, am I the asshole? | AITA: I Lashed Out At My Manipulative Friend | ESH |
10wafdi | Throw away since my siblings know my reg account. I am on a mobile sorry for formatting.I (26f) have 6 younger siblings. I got married and moved out. My cousin and her baby twins moved Into my old room. When she moved in my parents told her she needed to drive my sister (15f) to school Wednesday-Friday. It made sense because my mom watches her kids while she is in school.I caught my ex having an affair. Spent what money I had during our divorce and had to move back in with my parents. I was given a smaller bedroom than my old room. I was also told that because so many people are living in our house. I would be responsible for driving my sister Monday/Tuesday. I work until 11pm at night. To drive my sister I have to wake up at 7:30am. I am not getting enough sleep. I am really tired the days I have to drive her. I feel like I am dragging all day those days. My parents didn't start asking us to drive our siblings until my cousin moved in with her kids.WIBTA if I tell my parents I won't drive my sister anymore. I am just too tired. Info: I do not pay rent. I am saving for a down payment on a house. My mom is a stay at home mom. | WIBTA for refusing to drive my sister to school? | NAH |
10w8hh3 | Back story: I am one of 5 daughters to my father. We all share the same mother/father. My father raised all 5 of us on his own (reasons mother left belong in a different category & not important to this topic). While he was not even close to a perfect parent (does that even exist?), he has always & still to this day remained a large part in all of our lives. We all have a fairly close relationship, spending all holidays & events together. Several days ago, my aunt (father's sister) passed away. She was also a big part of our family. She has always lived out of state but remained close to her brother & nieces. I must note that I have made multiple trips with my father to visit her over the years. Only 1 of my sisters joined us for my uncle's funeral. All of my sisters are financially comfortable & only one of us (youngest sister) has minor children. Here's where I want to know if I WBTA. I cannot attend the funeral due to health complications (pending surgery) & am physically unable to travel. ALL 4 OF THEM have a very thin excuse as to why they cannot go. It's not about the cost of travel, time off work, or lack of childcare. I fully understand that every person has a unique situation, but there is literally nothing stopping any of them from attending her funeral. I only want a support system available for my father. I sent a message to all of them that I was heartbroken for not being able to attend & that I hoped at least a few of them would be willing to be there for our father. This is when the excuses started piling up. I cannot believe that none of them are willing to sacrifice a few days to not only honor our aunt, but more importantly to be there for our father. So, WIBTA for calling them out on their excuses?Edit: To clarify, I am not trying to force them into attending. I want to tell them I am disappointed in their lack of concern for our 80 year old dad in his time of need. I am the only daughter that he straight up asked to go with him. So yes, he needs support. They have all stated that it's too far to travel. | WIBTA for telling my sisters they suck for not attending my Aunt's funeral? | YWBTA |
10wchgw | For context yesterday at school one of my friends I’ll call H told me she started dating this guy called J who was B cousin ( b is the girl who is mad). She told me not to tell anyone so I didn’t cause it wasn’t my business. But the next day when I got to my last class she was crying and would only talk to M i though she was having cramps so I left her alone since she seemed to not want to talk to me. Then at the end of the class she started yelling at me because she found out and i didn’t tell her now she is mad at me even though I told her that it wasn’t my business so I didn’t want to start problems. I also thought that it didn’t involve her since it was just her cousin. So AITA? | AITA for not telling my friend that someone was dating her cousin | NTA |
10w98wc | EDIT: My mom is 44, not 22I (20f) dropped out last Spring to work full time because I was unhappy in school. I see working more as a means to an end. I work so that I can partake in my hobbies, pay off my useless student loans, take care of my bunny, live in the apartment I love. At work, I just want to put my headphones on and file papers, enter data, stuff envelopes. Ideally, I would have friends to go out with weekly and all that, but that is a work in progress. My mother (22f) and I were talking about what my plans are for next year and if I plan on going back to school. I told her that I think I am happy with where I am at now. She said, yeah, but does that really challenge you?I don’t want to be challenged in my work life. I want to be challenged in my personal life. I am currently working on an extremely complex crochet pattern, once I am finished with that crochet project and finish the book series I’m reading, I’d like to take a week where I just write a novel cover to cover and just allow it to be absolutely terrible so that I at least have something to work with. Then I would like to knit a sweater, revise the book, join some clubs in town, volunteer, meet some folks, eventually get another bunny, get a certification for work, you get the picture.I know these are short term goals, but right now I am not sure what I would like to do for the long term.So when my mom asked what the plan was for the long term and if I was planning to go back to school next year, I told her that I have shorter term goals I would like to accomplish before going back to school and when I explained some of them to her, she kind of scoffed and told me that they wouldn’t really matter in the long run. I told her that I wasn’t really interested in the long run right now. She told me that I needed to think on it more. I told her I wasn’t interested in doing that (really at this point, I was just upset and defensive.) She was extremely upset saying that she had failed me and that I make her feel guilty for the way she parented me. This was confusing and frustrating.I feel guilty for making her cry, but at the end of the day, I’m not sure if I did the bad thing here. Maybe I got defensive and snappy, but she just seemed to make a little thing into a huge thing.She told me that she was very disappointed in me (which she has never told me prior) and seems very upset with me still. | AITA for telling my mother I am content with my place in life right now? | NTA |
10wk4sc | I really don’t understand this situation at all, it’s super confusing and I already struggle understanding tone. I replied to a reply on a comment about a character (Spider; Avatar: Way Of The Water,) in an edit. The reply was about his hair, since it looks like locs. I said “it’s matted,” as that’s what it looks like to me, and I’ve seen a bunch of people say that too. I didn’t mean any harm by it, I didn’t even say anything else. I forgot I even posted it until the person responded, I ignored that because I was preoccupied and just forgot about it. She hunted down my comment 2 days later and has been harassing me to explain my side for about 10 minutes, at this point I’m confused and don’t know what she means, she keeps asking me to defend my side, explain how I misinterpreted the information I had. I told her all I could think of, How I didn’t understand that the video was just an opinion, but she’s just started commenting multiple times on one reply and I don’t know how I can stop her. I only wanted to state what I thought.Important to this, I’m white, I have straight hair and honestly don’t care about hair in general. She’s black, only has one video posted but she obviously has curlier hair than I do. I’d understand if she was just trying to educate me, but she’s jus yelling at me at this point. This feels really stupid to post, but I’m confused and this is relentless. | AITA for commenting on a fictional character’s hair? | NTA |
10wafjt | I have 3 nephews: a 14yo boy and a 10yo girl who are my sister A' children; and a 9yo boy who's my sister B son.​My 14yo nephew and I are very close and we have an almost brotherly relationship, as our age gap is relatively small (10 years). My 10yo niece adores me, and since her father and paternal grandfather are not very present and "capable", I'm one of the male figures in her life, and I make suto to be present. They are also the children of my sister A, with whom I'm close and always visiting, which is why I spend a lot of time with her kids, babysitting them, taking them to the McDonalds and stuff like that.​My third nephew, who is 9, is my sister B son. She and I have absolutely no problems, but we aren't that close and I never visit her, only at family events. Well, because of that I don't have the same weekly contact with my 9yo nephew, I never babysit with him and so on. But that's the "accidental" part.​It turns out that I purposely avoid my 9yo nephew, even though he is very fond of me, always hanging around me in family events and etc. Almost every time we meet he asks when he can come over to my house, when I'm going to pick him up from school and etc, and even though I've done these things once in a while (much less than with my other nephews) in most cases I change the subject, saying that we are going to set a date.​I don't do this because I don't like him, or because I play favoritism with my other nephews, but because my 9yo nephew is a "fussy child" and difficult to deal with and put up with for a long time. He is extremely hyperactive and the type who insists that you participate with him in all activities, be it playing ball or running (which I don't have the gas to do); he is also somewhat spoiled, eats only the things he likes to eat and is a bottomless pit who will empty the kitchen if given the chance; and finally, he's very disrespectful, doesn't listen well and it's a struggle to tell him to do anything.​I love him as I love all my other nephews; he is an extremely affectionate child, very smart and fun, but he has all these issues that I'm not willing to sacrifice my weekends to put up with.​Sometimes I feel guilty, but I'm not going to distance myself from my other nephews who I have such a good relationship with so that the third one doesn't get jealous or something like that. Hopefully when he gets a little older things will improve, but until then I'll continue to keep my distance from him.​Am I the asshole? | AITA for not paying much attention to my youngest nephew? | NTA |
10w7jdx | My husband (31m) and I (31f) recently started playing an exercise game on switch. It's a single player game so we usually take turns in the evening. This incident happened last week. I had a tough week at work, and was still reeling from a fight with my husband few days ago. I played for a while, then decided to start a round of game after adjusting its calibration. The calibration was off and I got frustrated. So I decided to stop, and told my husband that I'm done for the day. He saw that I was frustrated and asked why I'm stopping. I explained that I'm frustrated with the calibration and want to be done with the day. We had a few back and forth, with him trying to troubleshoot my calibration. I told him I'm done for the day and I'll figure out the calibration tomorrow. Then he asked, "why did you start a round if you're not going to finish?". I explained that wasn't my intention but I'm frustrated and I'm done for the day. He wasn't happy with my response and asked a few more times. All this while, I had wanted to leave to take a break but he kept wanting to talk to figure out what was wrong and why I wanted to quit mid round. As I'm not familiar with the switch system, I attempted to close the software directly to quit. He stopped me and got upset that I was quitting it wrong. I decided to walk away because I just wanted to have some alone time to rest. He then said, "why do I always have to clean up after you?"I disagree with that statement and in a moment of anger, I raised my voice and responded with "I'm the one who's doing the vacuuming!" (And most of the cleaning chores). There were a few more loud exchanges. By the end of the night, both our emotions were calm, but I felt that whatever issues we had had not been resolved. I did apologize and told him I increasingly increased my volume because I felt that he's not hearing me. He said he felt the same way. He thinks I should improve myself more, but I think he should let go of insisting I do things the "correct" way.I'm not proud of raising my voice. AITA? | AITA for yelling at my husband when he got upset at me for quitting a game mid-round? | NTA |
10w9mgo | F-30)My dad (60) brother (28) fiancé (26) and I (29) have a trip planned at the beginning of next month, which also happens to be my 30th birthday. This is a tradition for us to go to this particular location down south, as I’m from Canada where it’s freezing this time of year. We go specifically to watch baseball, get some sunshine and hang out at the local beaches. The trip is already paid for (accommodation, flights etc). The condo we’ve rented has two bedrooms, two beds. The assumption is that my dad and brother will share a room and my fiancé and I obviously will as well. My fiancé, brother and I have been extremely excited to hang out on this trip, as we’re all very close. Those are the basic details. Last last night I get a text from my aunt (56) stating that she will likely be attending our vacation as well. That my dad “offered to cover her costs” and all she had to worry about was some spending money. He didn’t notify my brother, myself or my fiancé that she would now be coming with us. Now, there’s a lot of context here so I’ll try and keep it brief:My aunt is my dads only sibling and they recently lost their mother (my grandmother) who my aunt lived with. She took the death very hard and is still struggling with it, almost a year later. I know my dad extended the invite out of the goodness of his heart but I can’t help but find it extremely inconsiderate and rude for the following reasons:- my brother and her can’t STAND each-other and she makes a point of expressing her feelings toward him loudly and obnoxiously any chance she has- she is an alcoholic and drinks to the point of blacking out and becoming aggressive and is horrible to be around in this state, at least once a week- she doesn’t like the heat or the sun- she hates baseball - she hates the beach- she can’t walk more than half a kilometre -or so at a time as she is overweight and has low iron. - there are only two beds and she will be bringing an air mattress and sleeping on the middle of our condo floor -she doesn’t drive and will depend on being driven around- my brother and her will end up fighting because they always doLook, I love my aunt for many reasons but I also don’t spend much time with her for many reasons. This trip was supposed to be a completely different dynamic- I know I’m going to end up babysitting and my brother is now saying he’s not going if she is. My dad currently won’t answer my phone calls as I texted him how I felt about him not consulting us first, he’s very angry and he says I’m being selfish.I honestly don’t know if I’m out of line or not. | AITA for telling my dad I’m not happy with his lack of consideration | NTA |
10wig11 | Just when I thought I can take a breath and calm down from one trauma, another one comes along. My (F23) parents (M52, F43) after years of fighting and allowing toxic relatives take control of our homelife (mom is mostly to blame for that), they finally decided to get divorced. I'm not upset about this, this needed to be done. But this is about my golden retriever (F2).My sister (F19) and I were living at home but we all decided to go our separate ways and our parents will sell the house. I'll be living with my boyfriend. My dad will be staying with friends. My mom will be staying with one of my cousin's. My sister will be living with an uncle and aunt. This uncle and aunt is the main topic of this issue.My parents decided to transfer ownership of my dog to my uncle and aunt. I asked them if they can wait until my boyfriend and I can find a bigger place and then transfer ownership to me. My sister didn't like that because that would mean she'll never see her again. My parents decided that the best way for both of us can see her is to live with that uncle and aunt. I thought this was unfair because my sister can see her everyday.My uncle told me I can only visit Sundays. Unless their kids come to visit on that day then we have to figure out a plan but he told me that they will try to give at least a month's notice on when they'll visit so we can avoid each other. My whole family hates me, except for my dad who always have my back.Dad feels really guilty about this, but it's not his fault. Sister may hate him, but he's still a father and he has to think about all of his children's happiness. He's already suffered so much in that house, so I understand that he wants to get rid of it ASAP. Even so, I'm still hurt that I only get to see my dog only once a week. I was really depressed a couple years ago. My dad bought my golden just for me. Technically she's not a ESA, but she might as well be. She gave me so much happiness and comfort when I had very little. My boyfriend has been wonderfully supportive and I love him so much and I'll do anything for him. But I don't know how I can handle without my sweet girl.AITA? | AITA for wanting my dog to be with me and being upset that I'm given limits to when I can see her? | YTA |
10whzbx | My first language is not English so there may be mistakes.I (F18) called out my fake friend in front of the entire class and I feel kinda bad. So I’m “friends” with this girl in my class let’s call her Ramona, Ramona was always kind of a bitch to a lot of people but was also pretty popular in school. She acted like she was someone better than others always wanting that you do something for her or agree with her in a discussion. But she had a lot of friends so I wanted to be civil with her because I’m not one of the popular people in school. I have a really good friend Fran (not her real name) she is one of the most popular people in school and we became friends when she switched to my school and sat next to me. She didn’t like Ramona and they got into a lot of fights because of Ramonas behaviour forward’s her. Ramona used me and I always kind of knew that she asked me to buy things for her or let her copy my homework even if I didn’t want to do that, I let her do it because I didn’t want to start a fight. But today I found out she was talking sh*t about me and Fran behind our bags to the guy Fran liked I middle of the classroom because she knew Fran wasn’t there. She said I cheated in my English presentation because I got an A- and she a D+. She said Fran was a H*e because she allegedly flirted with her ex boyfriend and talked to everyone she liked, when I heard that I snapped I walked over to them and asked her what her problem was and why she was talking sh*t about us. She was a bit shocked and said she wasn’t talking sh*t she was saying the truth but we both knew that she wasn’t. So I said loudly to her ,, Stop talking sh*t about people all the time we both know you just lied about all of that, you’re the one who’s always talking to the boys your friends are interested in you even flirted with the guy your best friend was interested in in front of her. You always go to people and want them to buy you food only because you’re to lazy to get it yourself and than you don’t say thanks or give them the money back they just spent for you after you said you would. Nobody really wants to have anything to do with you and your fake personality, and don’t you dare to start fake crying again like you always do when somebody is calling you out”. The entire room was silent after that and she walked crying out of the room with her friends following her and sending me death stares, I didn’t saw her for the rest of the day because she got picked up from school. I just sat back in my chair while her friends were glaring at me the whole day after she left. I heard some people saying that she deserved it being called out like that but some say that I was totally in the wrong for saying that to her. So AITA | AITA for calling out my fake friend in front of the entire class | NTA |
10w8u8h | My friends and I (M 28) work in different cities. We usually go out once a year to catch up. It's a crew of two gents and a lady. We were supposed to meet last week but I did't pitch. Reason being I can't stand one member of our crew (M 29). We used to text all the time like mad mad (Me and M 29). Over the past few months, he has been 'busy' (so have I), so the texting has subsided. General communication has generally. I guess it's adulting...It takes us longer to respond to texts. But I have noticed it takes him extraordinarily long to respond to texts when I need him (we both prefer texting to calls). We always helped each other. He was there for me during a messy break-up. I let him work in my company without qualifications. Let him confine in me when he fought with his mom. Let him buy shares at a discount. He has let me evade officials during the lockdown.Back to the delayed response issue. I let it slide for some time because I thought he was busy. But I realized it is a pattern. He would take about three days to respond while posting multiple statuses on WhatsApp. Recently I needed advice regarding work. He responded after three days and he only responded because he needed someone to talk to about an issue that has been bothering him. I ignored his texts. We were supposed to hang out last weekend...I thought I was gonna be there but on my way out I realized I can't overcome my feelings of hate toward this MF.AITA for not showing up, and letting my other female friend hang with him alone. Opinions!Edit: Some people think I planned not to go, like come on...don't we all get epiphanies...I realized when I was about to walk out my apartment that I can't stand this MF (M 29)! And some assume I have never tried to talk to him about it. He made it clear we are still good but his actions say something else. Anyway I'm tired of whining over this. Thanks all for your comments that made me see the bigger picture. Y'all are so honest. I'd take any date out with you over the MF imo... | AITA, I didn't show up to date out with friends because I hate one of my 'friends' | YTA |
10wgnea | So this is probably going to be a long rant so I’ll put a TL,DR at the bottom. Anyways this started 3ish weeks ago where 2 of my friends (17f&18f) which we will call Sarah and Lia, who are dating, started ignoring me(17f) and my close friend (17f) who we will call Eve, gradually at first but then it got to they point where they would never address us in conversation or text us unless it was in a gc (which they still wouldn’t directly talk to us) so I did what any person would do, I stopped talking to them because I thought they needed space from me and her after trying to get them to open up to me about what I might have done wrong. Fast forward to now where Sarah and Lia have been gossiping about me almost every moment they can talk and now all my other friends, except for Eve, are getting mad at me for ignoring them even though they did it first. I felt that I was an AH but Eve thinks otherwise. Reddit,AITA?TL,DR. 2 of my friends were ignoring me and then got mad when I ignored them back, other friends got angry at me, AITA? | AITA for ignoring friends because they ignored me? | NTA |
10wg500 | My gf (20f) and I (19f) were having a casual conversation where we were discussing different pets she had throughout her childhood. She then told me about a pet that passed away. She asked whether I knew what a axolotl was. I had no idea so she showed me pictures from google. I was shocked and said that it looked like a demon and something out of stranger things. She did not appreciate it. She then said that Ditto (her axolotl) was a sweet animal but she had to feed her live earthworms. I was even more disgusted and continued to say she looked like a demon. AITA? | AITA for making fun of my gf's dead pet? | YTA |
10wfx36 | To keep this short, my friend Jaquelyn is always walking around with a stank attitude as if she's better than somebody. What makes it so unfair is she gets the most attention just cuz she has a pretty face and knows a lot of people. Most of the time she's bragging about how boys can't keep they eyes off her and how girls stay pressed. Even though I secretly have always hated her, having her as my friend makes me feel special cuz not many people are as close to her as I am, but she never fails to make me look like dirt compared to her.The other day when we were in the school bathroom and she turned to the side, checking herself out in the mirror, she asked me if her butt looked round in those jeans. Like usual I forced a smile and told her she looked hot asf, but she just rolled her eyes and told me to stop hating. Like wtf?? I told her I wasn't even tryna to hate and if she was that insecure then maybe she should go get butt injections. Her face froze like I had admitted to murder and she walked straight out the bathroom, ignoring me for the rest of the day. It's been two days now and she keeps shooting me dirty looks through the halls refusing to talk to me after I apologized multiple times and said it was just a joke. I'm scared she'll start spreading rumors and make me her enemy now. Was I out of line? | AITA I told my friend to get butt injections out of jealousy | ESH |
10w8qs5 | Hopefully(?) this doesn't sound as bad as the title makes it out to be.I (25M) work at a public library. 95% of my work is either (1) sorting books in an area downstairs where patrons can only see in through a window (which people rarely ever do for extended periods of time) OR (2) shelving books in the library stacks.Almost all work is done in relative solitude. That is, I come into work, see there are X number of books to be sorted/shelved, check which books I have been assigned, and then get to work. Doesn't pay great, but it's a chill, steady job. Normally I wear an airpod while I work, listening to music/podcasts to break up the monotony. It doesn't affect my ability to sort/shelve books in any meaningful way.Task (1) has no interaction with the public. Task (2) has some, when a patron will come up to me and ask me a question. When this happens, I will take out the airpod, answer the question to the best of my ability (or direct them to where they can get the answer, like at an information desk), and go about my business. This happens maybe 3-4 times per 8 hour shift. 5-10 if we're really busy.Recently, my managers have instituted a no headphone policy for people of my (non-managerial) position. Managers have continued to wear headphones whenever they want.I didn't want to stop listening to music since it wasn't (a) affecting anyone around me, (b) they're being hypocritical anyway, and (c) I really don't get paid enough for this shit (This is not a valid reason, I know).To get around the policy, I had a friend 3d print a mould that fits over the airpod to make it look like a hearing aid. I then showed up to work and said I've been having some hard-of-hearing issues lately. Where I live, it is illegal to ask for a proof of disability unless they can reasonably show that it affecting my work AND I ask for a documented accommodation.I told this to a friend (who is not hard of hearing or associated with that community), and he said what I was doing was unethical because it was "taking advantage" of people who actually had a disability. I don't see how this is the case. I'm not trying to take someone else's rights away, nor am I using a resource that someone who has a disability would need (like buying a real hearing aid for example).AITA?\[Note, I'm not looking for whether this is unethical from the perspective of disobeying the policy, I don't really care about that. Again, don't get paid enough for that shit\]Edit (and the last time I'll look at this post): I'm the asshole, it turns out! Thanks to everyone who replied. I now get that this can make it harder for people who actually need accommodations. I'll (begrudgingly) stop wearing the fake hearing aid (believe me or don't, I don't care). However I do strongly disagree that it is *always* unethical to fake a disability (though I'm not having that debate here, I guess PM me if you want to discuss the ethics of war for example LOL) | AITA for pretending to be hard of hearing | YTA |
10w2bv2 | Throwaway for privacy reasons. Also, obligatory "on mobile" comment.I (16) was diagnosed about a year ago with both depression and generalized anxiety disorder. My parents tended to react by me telling them about any problems with those struggles by essentially saying that I needed to get over it (for example, when I told my mom about how I had anxiety over checking my grades, she told me that it would be important for college and that I needed to be able to do it anyway). Repeated incidents of this meant I don't want to tell them about the issues I have because I know they'll act dismissively.Anyway, on Sunday I woke up and I could already tell it was going to be a shitty day. On top of that, I had a lot of obligations I had to attend and that just made everything worse. My parents noticed how withdrawn I was and asked me a few times if anything was wrong, but I brushed it off because I didn't feel comfortable telling them. By the end of the day, my mom told me that my mood that day was unacceptable (I had been frustrated with everyone asking stuff of me, so I was a bit short with them on some occasions) and asked again what was going on. I gave in and told her that I had a bad day and was pushed to my limit with all the stuff that I had to do. My mom, annoyed, told me that I needed to be able to trust her and communicate with her on things like that. I snapped, "Well, I don't trust you!" and stormed off. This is where I might be the asshole. My parents reacted by basically distancing themselves from me - my mom basically refused to talk to me, and my dad was acting cagey and kind of aloof. Yesterday evening, they sat me down and told me that my comment had been hurtful to them, and so i apologized just to get them off my back. They were also upset that I didn't bring it up and tried to "brush it off" (even though I had school and my parents had work, so there wasn't a lot of time in the 24 hours between the incident we could've had a conversation), and told me that I needed to trust them.My parents have told me a lot in the past that they didn't trust me and that I needed to earn their trust, and I feel like it should be the same for them, so at first I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. But I understand that what I said might have hurt their feelings, and I probably could've said it in a nicer way. So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for snapping at my parents and telling them I don't trust them? | NTA |
10wc2kq | My friend and I both had our fair share of terrible relationships, but for context, this ex of theirs has done it all. Used them, ignored them, pushed them down, broke them to pieces, made them feel like garbage ect. They even got back with their ex just to spite my friend. This person wasn't abusive but they were just downright terrible. I got upset with my friend BECAUSE of these reasons, I'm just trying to protect them from having their heart broken again.... I didn't trust their motives for apologizing to my friend and suddenly fixing themselves. But when I got mad, my friend had said:"Hey could we tone down the whole "I hate them you're making a huge mistake yadiyadiyada" when I have them on the phone? They're getting mad at me because we're good now and they don't want to hear it they've heard it enough"But if he didn't wanna hear it then he shouldn't have been an asshole to begin with. Not to mention I've mentioned it to them even when their ex WASN'T on the phone.So Am I The Asshole? | AITA for getting mad at my friend for getting back w/ her ex? | NTA |
10vyuew | I (16F) have a friend (17F) who I'm quite close to, especially since we're in 7 out of 8 classes together in high school. I learn 5 AP classes and she learns 6, so we understandably have a lot of tests and serious assignments nearly every day in school. Here's the thing. Most days, she has allergies in the morning, especially since our country's facing a PM 2.5 issue lately, just like me. I take allergy medicine in the morning, however, so runny noses aren't a problem for me. Unlike her.7 out of the 8 classes we learn, and she's next to me, sniffling nonstop. If it's not a sniffle, then it's a sneeze or a cough, and to be completely honest, it's driving me crazy. I've asked if she needs a tissue (there's a box in every classroom) but she says that her runny nose comes back right after blowing her nose. Okay, I can understand that. I then offer if she needs allergy medicine. She says it's alright. But it's not alright for me, it's affecting my concentration and mood to the max. This is slightly unrelated but since we sit next to each other in most classes, I don't even know if everyone thinks that I'm the sniffler - and I really really don't want that to happen as well. I mean, who wants to be known as the chronic sniffler who affects everyone's concentration in class everyday?There's a lot of little things about her that are starting to really tick me off, but to save time I won't write them here. I know that deep at heart, she's a genuine friend, but sometimes her behaviour just comes off as selfish and ignorant, in a naive manner. These past few days she's also been having an actual cold, so guess who's faced with stronger sniffles than ever. Our school tuition isn't dirt cheap so she definitely has the means to buy allergy medicine which costs less than 10 US dollars in my country. WIBTA if I just told her directly that it's really annoying and affecting my work when she sniffles, and offer to just pay for her allergy medicine? | WIBTA if I told my classmate to stop sniffling for god's sake? | YTA |
10w8a6i | I (16f) is turning 17 this month and I always wanted to ask money instead of celebrating my birthday every year since I was 12 but was always rejected. We're not well-off but we're not struggling either. We could buy what we need and sometimes, our wants if we saved our allowance for some time.Every year, my sister(18, we're a year and a half gap) asks for money instead of celebrating her birthday whenever it's coming since she was 13 and my mom would always give her around $40 (which is a lot in our country). When I knew about it, I also ask for money but my mom said if I'd want to ask for money she'd give me $2.50 but we'd have nothing to eat on my birthday. I thought, Well, if I chose to just celebrate it, it'd cost $20 and I'd just receive way less so, I always chose the foodWe live in a small neighborhood in a third-world country so, in our location, we receive Christmas package from the government (like spaghetti pasta, sauce & other ingredients) and my mom would always save some pasta,sauce & canned fruit cocktail for my birthday. She'd keep it in the closet until my birthday so, every year spaghetti & a gelatin with the fruit cocktail would always be celebratory food sometimes there would be some other foodLast year, I asked for money and my mom said that if I choose the money, it'd be unfair to them since they wouldn't have anything to eat. We fought & didn't talk to each other for days until my birthday. I invited 2 of my friends and we didn't even get to enjoy my day since my mom invited more than 10 people. They're mostly middle age women who talks very loudly and their kids ages 7 below. Since our house isn't that big and my sisters don't like having people on the 2nd floor, we couldn't hear each other properly so, we (me&my friends) just ended our talk earlier than expected. We expected to end our talk around 6pm but we had to end it at around 4;30 after they ate since it's not really working out.Today, My mom asked me what do I want to do with my birthday, I said "I want to ask for money" and she replied with "Okay, I'll give you $6". I just didn't replied. She said "Well, We could just cook food and you invite your friends". I said "I don't have any friends" I struggled with social anxiety so being around many people stresses me out and the friends I used to have kinda fall apart since we're all busy in school. "Well you can invite Y(name of someone I always go to school with)". I didn't replied. "Did she invite you in her birthday?". I didn't replied. "Why aren't you talking?" I just didn't replied and go upstairsI think I'm asking for too much but at the same time, I want to celebrate my Bday on my ownSo, AITA for asking for money instead of celebrating my birthday?(EDIT: I also suggested that we eat out on my birthday like we did in my sister's birthday but she just shrugged it off and replied "Well, We have ingredients at home, why not eat at home?")(EDIT: I don't even want to spend the money, I just wanna keep & save it) | AITA for asking for money instead of celebrating my birthday? | NTA |
10w7996 | Backstory: I (23F) have a coworker (25f) who’ve I known for a couple of years due to us meeting in college. I started this job a few months and reconnected with her because she’s been at this job for a few years. Everything seemed to be going really good at the beginning but slowly started getting worse with a lot of passive aggressive things or behavior she has been displaying not only to me but to everyone at our job. Which brings me to today. Today it was just me, her (G) and one other coworkers (I). We work in a pastry shop so we have very high volume, stressful days. Every morning we get a storeroom order with ingredients and we have to put it away the items and take the cart back to spot which is like around a corner. Today mainly me and my other coworker (I) put away items due to G having a wrist brace due to an injury four weeks ago. Normally we do all the heavy lifting so she doesn’t have too. Well after we were done we didn’t want to take the cart back since we did all the work so we decided to do nose-goes. Just as a way of making it fair. Well right before we started she said she can’t take it because she can’t push it. So I made a comment being like well you can pull it can’t you. She got quiet and I ended up taking the cart back. Now I might be the asshole for that comment but what she did after made me mad. So I assume she got mad because when I went to the freezer a little bit later she slammed the door behind me ( which she had also done before when she is upset at me or at the person who walked inside) and she slammed it hard again after I left the freezer and now she is not talking to me and giving me dirty looks. Now normally I would let this go and keep going with my day but I know she was talking about me to my manager because she was whispering and looking at me when she was talking to her and I honestly don’t want any problems with my managers at all or even her to be honest but I am really close to just going to them and telling them everything that happened today. So WIBTA if I went to my manager about a coworker? | WIBTA if I went to my manager about a coworker? | NTA |
10vxtlv | Hi I’m a 15f with a history of severe mental health problems and trauma I am also autistic I have a mother 35f who has been on my side through social care and fought for me however she has recently been severely guilt tripping me for my problems and says that they are ruining her life and making her depressed I recently went on her phone to find a link which she told me I could when I opened her phone it was messages between here and I best friend saying that i was a horrible kid and that I was pulling and drowning her this broke my heart because my mum was my world. These comments have been going on for a while now she never apologised even when I ask and always blames me for every little thing but in the other hand she is amazing and has done lots of things for me. Back to today, I had gotten up for school early because my mum was going to drop me off but we had to walk my dog first. I woke up at around 6.30 7 ish and got ready for school did all my chores etc at this point mum was still in bed I asked her to wake up because we had to get ready and go she only woke up 20 mins later at this point we were late. We walked out the door and I closed it she shouted and I realised that she didn’t have the keys she said that it was my fault and I make everything in life worse my heart broke as I am an A star student and try so hard despite being severely depressed. I then told her that she should of picked up the keys as that is her job but then she told me that I was distracting her and refused to take the blame. Later on the comment she made about me making everything worse began to really affect me. I am a very petty person so I began to think that if I make everything worse that I should really commit to it the following week I did not get out of bed or speak to her at all even when she screamed at me for again ruining everything I shut my mouth after two weeks of this treatment I finally spoke and said see how much worse I can really make everything. She was confused and I reminded her of what she said she denied ever saying that and I continued the treatment she has cried non stop since and said that I am horrible and lie I am in my room crying because I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I really make everything worse and am I the asshole for proving a point and calling my mum out?Please let me know Feel free to use this story on tiktok etc | AITA for making my mums life so much worse? | YTA |
10xg6kr | My (31M) son is five years old. About a year ago, my brother (34M) reassured my son that he could be the ring bearer at his wedding. This conversation occurred after he heard us talking about mine and his dad's wedding and was very offended he wasn't invited despite the fact that wouldn't be conceived for another three years after the event. My son really latched onto this comment.Now, all these months later, my brother has proposed and is planning a wedding with his fiancée. When I told my son that his uncle was getting married, he was obviously overjoyed and immediately launched into bragging to his younger brother (who wasn't born when the initial conversation took place and was just giving him typical baby babbles in return) that he got the be the 'ring bear.'I heard the proposal news from my mom and when I called to congratulate my brother, I also told him the story of how excited our oldest is. My brother went on to tell me that his fiancée is pretty adamant about a child free wedding, so the promise he made might not be doable anymore.This was obviously hard for me to hear. Not only would this break my son's heart, this would also make mine and my husband's lives considerably harder. We're currently living abroad and didn't think we would have to find childcare for the time of the wedding. Our only options now would be:1. Fly with our children and leave them in the care of people we don't fully trust since all trusted family members will be attending the ceremony2. Leave both children with a trusted friend near our home and fly to the wedding (not ideal since, thanks to flexible work schedules, we were planning to spend a month with our families following the wedding... flying in for the celebration, flying home to pick up our children, and then flying back is too exhausting. Them flying alone obviously isn't an option.)3. Not attend.My brother said he would try to get his fiancée to reconsider, but we spoke two nights ago and he said she's putting her foot down. Admittedly, I was hurt over this on my son's behalf. I told him we would still try to make it, but it was unlikely that we could. I also told him that if he even wanted us to consider coming, he would have to tell his nephew himself that he was going back on his promise and why.My brother said it felt like I was issuing him an ultimatum and making him choose between family and his wife on what's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and that I was being unfair. I said he shouldn't have made promises he couldn't keep.AITA?eta: Saw some confusion in the comments - I’m a man. | AITA for insisting my brother explain to his nephew why he can't attend his child-free wedding? | NTA |
10xb499 | I (25F) have been married to my husband (27M) for 2 years. When we first got married, we moved to a different city for his job (in tech - he's a software engineer). In our new city, I quickly found an entry-level job in the field I thought I wanted to work in (publishing). However, I hated it - hated the office politics, long hours with relatively low pay, and found the work monotonous. I stuck it out for a year and a half to avoid being a job-hopper and to see if I could make it work, but then started applying to a variety of other jobs after nothing improved. I had a few interviews but wasn't getting too far in the processes until recently, when I interviewed for an executive assistant job. The job seemed to be a great fit at every step - I really clicked with the executive I would be supporting, and liked everything about the company (which is stable and growing with no sign of layoffs like a lot of companies are going through right now). The pay is great too - 50% more than my current job (would be going to 75K from 50K) with better benefits (more vacation, more robust insurance with lower cost). The new job would also be strictly 40 hours a week (with occasional paid overtime) as opposed to my current publishing job which often requires 10+ hour days and doesn't pay overtime.When I discussed with my husband, he told me flat-out that although it's my career, he disagrees strongly with this move. He says that I'm going to get permanently stuck in the "secretarial pool" and that it's not really a professional job that's appropriate for our life plan, and that he's going to be embarrassed by me and will think less of me. (The job is to serve as the assistant to the CEO/owner of a marketing/advertising agency, which is also a field I am very interested in learning more about - I mean I suppose you could debate the ethics of marketing/advertising, but it's not like it's doing something illegal or for a company/exec with a horrible reputation. There is also definitely a path forward as the CEO said that those who do well in the assistant role for a year or two will have opportunities for promotion to account coordination/management roles.)I told him I was sorry to disappoint him, but I'm really miserable in my current job and need to make a change and this is the best offer I have. Plus, I'm going to make more money for fewer hours so I'm not taking anything away from him or our household. So I accepted it and now he says I am an AH and is barely speaking to me.Anyway, Reddit, AITA for taking a job that my husband finds inappropriate and embarrassing? | AITA for taking a particular job even though my husband disapproves? | NTA |
10x3ggn | This is an ongoing issue going on in my home. I 33F am currently pregnant with my first child. I live in a two bedroom home with my husband and step-daughter (23F). Step-daughter and I get along fine no big issues but we also are not super close.Now that the baby is coming we need more space unfortunately we can't afford a new home. I brought up to my husband asking Step-daughter to move out. My reasoning is that we really need her room for the new baby and she is an adult with a full time job so it is time for her to be on her own anyway.My husband agreed and we brought it up to her at dinner one night. We told her we would help with her first 2 months rent. I told her it would be fun her and I could go shopping and I will help her decorate her new apartment. We tried to be as gentle as we could but she was very quiet. Privately she told my husband that even though she as a full time job she cannot afford to live on her own. My husband told her she did not need to move out so now we are scrambling trying to find space for new baby.The other day I was home alone with Step- daughter and tried to talk to her about it again. I offered to help her find a roommate and she snapped on me. She snapped on me and told me to just leave her alone and locked herself in her room.When my husband got home from work he was mad at me and told me to leave her alone and not bring it up anymore. Things have been awkward and uncomfortable since making my pregnancy very stressful. She is 23 old enough to be on her own she has a job and we are willing to help her. We need space for our baby I do not see how I am in the wrong here. | AITA for asking Step- daughter to move out. | YTA |
10x4t3v | My sister's taken to adopting a very Brain Dead Stoner Surfer Dude way of speakingInstead of saying hello she says "Sup?"Goodbye is "Latz" or "Later Much"Things she doesn't like are "harsh" or "a beat scene" Suspicious things are "bogus" or "sketch"Unique things are "spesh"Good things are "sweet" or "radical" or "the tits" (I especially don't like that last one)"Chaka brah, gnarly, tasty, rando, ferosh, bitchin', tweaked..."Some of this stuff I don't even know what it means.I've asked her politely a few times to stop. Told her it really, really annoys me. She laughed and seemed to do it *more.* I finally said "If you can't talk to me using plain English, please just don't talk to me at all until you can." To which she replied "Harsh, dude." Now we literally are not speaking.AITA for laying down a "language boundary?" | AITA for asking my sister to please not address me in "dudespeak?" | YTA |
10xjwyy | OK. So.Back in November I was walking my dog around my neighborhood. I saw a woman putting up a sign on a street corner stop sign. She had a black and white dog with her. My dog ran up to say 'hello' and the woman and I got to talking. The black and white dog had been found a few days earlier, and she had been spending the day putting up 'found dog' signs. During our talk, she mentioned that she couldn't really keep the dog on account of having a large German shepherd at home and the rambunctiousness was a bit much. The black and white dog and my little guy were getting along famously, so I told her that I'd be happy to foster the dog until the owners were found. During this whole conversation we continued walking around the neighborhood, putting up the rest of her 'found dog' signs. She had also posted the animal on PawBoost and somewhere else, I forget. The dog had no collar, no chip, and, because she wasn't spayed, was in heat - she was actually wearing a diaper. I'd never seen a doggy diaper before. The woman told me that she had to brush out some matted hair, but otherwise the dog seemed healthy, if a little underfed. We exchanged numbers.One week later, the owners still had not come forward. I took in the dog. After another week, no sign from the owners, so I 'officially' named the dog (I stopped calling her Mutt-face), took her to the vet, had her spayed, updated all her shots and otherwise started her account at my vet. I love her like crazy.And then last week, three months later, I'm walking both of my dogs around the neighborhood and a man in an SUV pulls over and waves me over. "That's my dog," he says."No," I say, "that's my dog."Long confrontation short: he's showing me photos on his phone; I'm telling him I don't care; he's following me in his SUV as I continue walking; I tell him to fuck off; we're in the neighborhood so eventually his wife and 2 small children show up; I keep walking; he shows me where they live and keeps following me; he tells me how he put up signs and called animal control and put a post up online somewhere; I don't care. All the while he's taking pics of me and my dog and grabbing at her collar. I call my wife and have her come pick me up and we hightail it outta there. I'm 98% certain that my dog used to be his dog.I don't plan on giving her back. He can get a lawyer and come after me if he wants. I'll fight.AITA for keeping the animal? | AITA for not returning a family's dog? | YTA |
10xclxz | [Link to the original post from about a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tjk47t/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_therapists_name_and/?amp%3Butm_medium=ios_app&amp%3Butm_name=iossmf)So I’ve been seeing some follow ups being posted and I figured I’d share this one in case anyone was curious.So obviously things were very bad with my parents following this episode. I went no contact with them for approximately four or five months. It didn’t start off as no contact, but things progressed to the point where I told them they were no longer to reach out to me and if they showed up at my condo (to which they had a key), I would call the police and have the locks changed.My mom took this particularly hard. She really didn’t understand what she had done that was wrong which was beyond frustrating. She’d send messages and emails trying to justify herself.I felt extremely upset about going no contact but ultimately found it to be a liberating experience. I ended up reconnecting with my sister whom I thought was not speaking to me but it turned out my phone was not sending me push notifications when she would message me on WhatsApp (she lives in a different country).So anyway, in June or July of last year I reached out to my parents and explained that we could have a phone call but that it was not going to be a two way conversation. I was going to do all the talking initially and if they wanted to, I’d give them the opportunity to respond at the end. I was very clear though that this was an opportunity for me to explain why what had happened had affected me so deeply and why I was so angry with them.The call actually went much better than anticipated. They were silent and listened and the few times they started to speak up, I reminded them that this was not currently a two-way street.My mother played the whole situation off as a misunderstanding although I don’t buy it. My father didn’t realize I wasn’t speaking to him either (he thought it was just my mother who I was angry with, but he can be a little emotionally shallow so I’m not that surprised). Following the phone call, I agreed to see them again on limited terms. It’s taken some work, but we’re back in a good place.I still think about last year and I think about how this community helped me from going over the deep end. So I wanted to say thank you!Edit: and if anyone is curious how the birthday ended up going, I blew about 250 bucks on myself on Grubhub and one of my college friends organized an impromptu Zoom session with our group of friends across the country to sing happy birthday to me after I called to discuss the situation (we had been together when I was visiting them that weekend when the conversation with my mother first started). | Update: AITA for Refusing to Give my Therapist’s Name and Number? | INFO |
10wyz00 | When my wife and I decided to start a family she expressed she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom so we made a plan and set everything up so that she could stay home during the early years. We had our first kid but she didn't do too well being the stay-home and had a hard time with it. We still wanted our kids to have a parent at home with them so we swapped out since her salary was close to mine. Two kids later I'm still the stay-at-home dad working reduced hours remotely. For me personally, it's easier than any job I've had in the past, even the manual labor one but I recognize that that's just my personal experience. We've touched base on the issue a few times to make sure there's no resentment, guilt, or discomfort on either of our parts.One of her friends from her work invited us and other couples over for dinner. While there, the other couples were talking about childcare in general and some of the women started sharing their experiences of when they were home. My wife was talking about how she had disliked it and mentioned our arrangement when one of the women said to me: "Oh I know you're just itching to get back to having it easy."I responded that I already have it easy and that for me, being a stay-at-home dad was a cakewalk compared to my office job. I didn't see the point in agreeing with something that just isn't true for me. On the way home my wife asked why couldn't I have just agreed with the question and played along. I asked her if she felt bad or guilty that she had a hard time with it and she said no, so I told her to just forget about it then because there's no reason for me to lie to make a bunch of other people feel better so long as it's fine between us. When she got home from work yesterday she had some attitude asking me if I had 'another easy peasy day' and told me how all day she had to hear from her friends what a smug asshole I was for making light of their experiences by saying it was a cakewalk. I get that for a lot of people it's hard but I don't see why I should have to lie about it or fluff someone's ego for not feeling the same way.AITA?Additional info: The scheduling, making appointments, taking kids where they need to be, grocery list, school stuff, making sure payments for bills came out, vehicle maintenance, organizing our date nights, finding babysitters, figuring out what needs to be done- falls on me. She keeps track of dates important to her family, I keep track of dates important to us and my side of the family. I am very detail-oriented, I've done all of that throughout our relationship. We do grocery shopping together on the weekend. | AITA for not lying for my wife in front of her friends regarding me being a stay-at-home parent? | NTA |
10x6z4c | My stepsister F21 crashed my F18 new car after I told her she couldn’t use it again. My stepsister name her Paula had two cars both she got from her dad and my mum and she destroyed both of them within months after she got them. My mum and her dad got married when I was 11 after my dad died three years prior. I had a hard time accepting her dad and her but in the end I got used to it and we have a solid relationship,at lest her dad and me. Paula got her first car when she was 17 just after she got her license it was an older Audi she got from her dad it wasn’t the nicest car but a good start. She didn’t liked the car but it was better than nothing so she used it, but after 4 months she crashed it into my mum’s car as she was coming back from a party. The second car she had she got last year for Christmas my mum and her dad bought it for her but guess what she drove it into the river on New year because she forgot to put the handbrake on. My mum and her dad were furious but she didn’t care she said she would just buy a new car and they should chill out. She moved out afterwards to her own apartment.So I just bought myself my dream car a Mini Cooper 2014 I did years of saving for it. My stepsister visited two weeks ago over the weekend while I was at my grandparents house, so she thought she could use my car while I was gone and drove shopping with it. As I got home I saw a huge scratch at the back. I asked my mum how it got there she was clueless she didn’t know Paula took the car while they were sleeping, Paula looking all innocent said she took the car on a little Shoppingtour because I wasn’t using it. I was so angry at her and said if she ever uses my car again without my ok I would kick her arse to the moon and back. She said she was sorry and that some idiot was it not her.When I was coming home today I saw my car crashed into the wall in front our house and Paula my mom and her dad standing besides it. I was furious I asked what happened and my my car was in the wall. Paula said she accidentally crashed it because she wanted to drive to the nail salon and she confused the front and reverse gears. I exploded I screamed at her that I want her to pay for the car and that she was a horrible person because she didn’t even looked guilty for destroying my car and she should never drive a car agin in her life because all she does is cause accidents, I stormed away and looked myself into my room. Her dad said I should forgive her and that it was an accident but we were sisters. I was shocked and so disappointed in my mum because she said nothing against it. I said that she wasn’t my sister and I would never forgive her and that I would move to my grandparents and that she should better pay for my car or I would sue her. He said that I was a brat talking to them like that and that not forgiving her would make me a bad human being. So am I the asshole for not forgiving her? | AITA fir not forgiving my stepsister for crashing my car | NTA |
10x3y2e | A lot of emotions are overwhelming me right now so I'll try to keep it simple and to the point.My(m27) cousin(f29), lets call her “Sue” is an ‘artist’. By that I mean she has a Bachelor in Fine Arts. Ever since high school her dream has been to become a world renowned artist akin to Picasso, Dali and whatnot. Honestly, she doesn’t have what it takes to be on that level. Thing is she refuses to work in an industry where her skills would be needed, the most work she’s ever done is as a cashier in retail. Forever hoping she’s gonna “hit it big” with one of her artworks.Now I always felt bad for Sue. Her mother made a lot of poor financial decisions and her piece of shit father walked out. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles helped them out financially from time to time. But their attitude towards my aunt was always “she did it with her own hands”. Our family members were extremely pissed that Sue chose to pursue fine arts. They all grew up during communism and see this sort of degree as a waste of time. They essentially stopped giving them any form of financial aid.I never stopped. About 5 years ago my friends and I got really interested in DnD. Essentially I talked to Sue and told her I'd give her a monthly sum of money and in exchange she’d draw stuff for my DnD campaigns. She was reluctant at first saying “her art is not for this sort of simple things” but I think her mother convinced her to take the deal.Initially things were working out. I’d pay her every month and she’d send the drawings on time. But as time went she began being more and more off deadline. I'd always pay her on time, but she'd be weeks then months late. Last commission was for 10 artworks for a new campaign. She's essentially ghosted me for 4 months about it meanwhile I've still been paying her. I had to delay the start 4 time and it really pissed me off, because at this point, it's about me letting down my friends. So I cancelled the January payment. She couldn’t even be bothered to contact me immediately. Only 8 days later she angrily calls me asking why she has no money in her bank account.At the time I was tired and her attitude pissed me off so i gave it to her straight. I told her how she should be thankful for what I'm doing for her, instead she bites the hand that feeds her. How instead of dreaming she’ll make it big, she use her skills to look for a real job. I told her to stop being a leech of her family. And of course that she won’t see a dime from me until she finishes those damned drawings, and after our deal is off.Then my aunt called me and cryingly begged me to send Sue the payment otherwise she'll have to starve for the month.I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I know for a fact my family members would just encourage me to stop helping them. And my wife’s attitude towards this problem is along the lines of ‘we can afford it so just help her’. | AITA for letting my cousin ‘starve’? | NTA |
10wtfx2 | I'm in Canada. It is perfectly legal. My stepson, Sean, is 18 and he is in university. He lives with his dad and I so he can go to school in our city. His mom lives on an acreage about 40 km north if town so that would be quite the commute. I didn't really want him in my house but my husband insisted and promised me that Sean would behave. He would clean up after himself and he would not cause me any problems. He isn't a bad kid. He does his chores and keeps to himself mostly. He had some trouble with staying up late and being disruptive when he got here last summer but we got that sorted out. My husband and I have a three year old daughter. Sean is friendly with her and has babysat her a few times. The problem is he smokes so much weed. I'm honestly surprised he isn't failing out of school. I personally don't care. Except we agreed he would smoke outside or in the garage. And he's been smoking up in his room. Three problems. 1. My daughter doesn't need to get a contact high. 2. It stinks3. He has the window open so we are paying to heat up the house constantly. Fuck that noise. I spoke with my husband and told him that Sean wasn't following the rules we had agreed to. He had one more chance then he had to find somewhere else to live. Sean said he was sorry and he promised he would behave. He even showed me that he bought edibles so he wouldn't get his sister high, stink up the house, or need to open his window. It was fine for two weeks and then he did it again. So I kicked him out. I packed up his shit and took it all to his mom's place. And I had the lock codes changed. When he got home from school he lost his shit. He said that I was being a controlling bitch and that I didn't have any right to tell him what to do in his father's house. I laughed in his face. I told him that the only house his father ever bought is the one his mother lives in. His dad is my husband but they are both living in my house. I guess he didn't know that and he started apologizing. I called him an Uber to take him to his mother. He didn't go and he called my husband instead. My husband made arrangements with his brother for Sean to move there. His mom drove all his belongings back into town and now he isn't my problem. Unfortunately for Sean his uncle is completely against cannabis. So he can't have any there. And he is currently sleeping on a hide-a-bed. His dad, uncle, and himself are going to build him a room in the unfinished basement this weekend. My husband is on my side since Sean broke our agreement. His mother is salty about having to come into town. And Sean is begging me to let him come back. | AITA for kicking my stepson out of the house for smoking weed? | YTA |
10wv4dx | I've never been particularly close with my daughter. After me and her mom divorced when she was 13 I saw her maybe once every 2-3 months and on birthdays/holidays. I do blame myself for that, after the divorce I went into a sort of mid life crisis (although I was only in my early 30s). Over the last few years I've dated quite a few women but I wouldn't class any of those relationships as "serious". Six months ago I started dating my current girlfriend. About six weeks ago I invited most of my family out to dinner (my daughter, my siblings and their partners, my parents), I felt like our relationship was at a point that I wanted to introduce her as my girlfriend to the family. And everyone seemed to like her, we had a fun dinner. But then after a few glasses of wine me and my daughter got into this small argument, I honestly don't even remember what it was about and during that argument she called my girlfriend a gold digger and left shortly after. She generally just ruined the whole dinner. I'm not delusional, I know one of the reasons that my girlfriend is with me is money and I assume everyone else in the family knows that too, same way one of the reasons I'm with my girlfriend are her looks. Last weekend I threw a small indoor BBQ dinner at my house and I again invited most of my family and a few friends and some of my girlfriends friends. But I didn't invite my daughter. She very obviously doesn't like my girlfriend and I didn't want a repeat of the last situation. However when my daughter found out she wasn't invited afterwards she sent me some angry messages calling me a "selfish narcissistic prick". And for whatever reason one of my sisters has taken her side and said I should have invited her. So was AITA for not inviting her? | AITA for not inviting my daughter to dinner after she called my girlfriend a gold digger? | YTA |
10xa0pl | My son's 4th grade class had a field trip to the science museum yesterday I was asked to chaperone by his teacher. Sure! My nephew Alex is in the other 4th grade class and he has ASD. He does require a "shadow" and unfortunately he couldn't come because he was ill. I'm sure it was no coincidence that Alex was put in the group that I was chaperoning. I didn't mind.Most of the time the classes stayed together. We went to see an interactive exhibit/flim on Pompeii that was more like a Disneyland ride. Alex freaked out at the noise and smoke machine and was trying to hide behind the curtains. I got him and had him sit on my lap until it was done. From that point on, he was quite clingy and I let him wrap his arms around me from the back.When we got back, another teacher, neither my son's nor Alex's teacher, approached me and said I shouldn't be affectionate with the students. This teacher was in the field trip too. I said I was his uncle and I wasn't being affectionate, I was calming him down.She said that it was still affectionate and not to do it. I told her to go take a hike and if she has an issue with it then go complain to my brother and his wife or whoever. And just to spite her, I gave Alex a big ole Uncle Hug in front of her before I left.This morning, I put him in a little headlock in front of her and she pretended not to see it. I could tell my brother and SIL and they'd go nuclear on her but I'm not an asshole. | AITA for telling a teacher to go take a hike? | NTA |
10xegam | My husband’s name is Nicholas and he doesn’t like it when most people shorten his name and barely even agreed to let me call him Nico. My brother-in-law will sometimes call him Nick to act like they’re closer than they are and this has evolved into my niece calling him “Uncle Nicky”.He absolutely hates it and the only reason he’s stopped saying anything is because he said I made him feel like the devil after he made her cry when he tried to get her to call him Nicholas instead.He’s angry at me because he thinks I’m encouraging her to call him “Uncle Nicky”. I’ll admit I find it adorable but I don’t think I’m encouraging her. He thinks I am because she said the bracelet he got me was pretty and asked me where I got it from and I told her “Uncle Nicky” got it for me. I referred to him as “Uncle Nicky” a few more times in that conversation but when I noticed that he looked unhappy I did try to change the subject.His big argument is that since I know he doesn’t like it, I should be encouraging her to call him Nicholas instead. I told him she’s only 4 and she will probably grow out of calling him “Uncle Nicky” and he was making a big deal out of nothing.AITA? | AITA for supposedly encouraging my niece to call my husband “Uncle Nicky” when I know he hates it? | YTA |
10xbgys | For context I 20f work in a warehouse making $20 per hour. I live in a high cost of living and have a car payment. I live with my parents still because rent in my area is almost 2k for a 1-bedroom apartment. I can't afford to move out and can't even afford to have a roommate. I pay rent $500 a month and my parents don't care if I only have $200 a week for food gas and anything else I need they still want rent. Recently I started picking up lots of overtime to try and get myself out of the debt I got myself in so i was not home a lot. I paid my younger sibling weekly to take care of my dog that I own. The requirements were feeding him and letting him to go potty. Apparently this had not been done and my dad was forced to take over this job. One night when I out at dinner my father kicked my dog outside in the cold while he was still wet from a bath. We have no shelter or even beds outside. It is just a giant concrete pad. I was told he is not allowed to come inside at all anymore no matter what. This was a one of the major breaking points for me among many other things my dad has pulled. I have supported myself since I was 17 for the most part. I took care of myself, loaned him money, and I have never borrowed money from him. He recently threatened to kick me out of me leaving 2 items on the dining table for less than 20 min. He complained that I was not considerate of everyone in the house. I am not here, I work, I only leave my room to cook food and I always clean all of my dishes afterwards. I have turned into a glorified roommate. I can't keep doing this same tango with him anymore, so I plan to go and live with a family member on the other side of the country. I'm already trying to find a job. I am looking into remote work but don't have much experience in anything other than customer service and I am trying to make similar to what I do know so I can pay my bills and get my own place where I Live, but I am having trouble finding entry level jobs. I'm leaving in less than 2 months. I am leaving in the middle of the night without waking anyone hopefully. I fear that if they were to find out that I was leaving they would take any penny that I have to leave and keep it for themselves. I don't plan on having much contact with them if any after I leave. So AITA for disappearing and not talking to them again? | WIBTA for moving across the country in the middle of the night and not telling anyone | NTA |
10xb4k2 | It was technically one cookie. Here's what happened. My husband's mother baked cookies and gave us five more to take home. My son ate 2 of the 5, leaving 3 cookies left. My husband ate a lot at my MIL's house before we left the same day.Now I've been trying to lose baby weight from our most recent baby and as such we have a rule. No sweets in the in the house. I have a binging problem and thus if we do want sweets we usually either make it from scratch or go out to get them when we want them and store them in designated areas in the house. He's free to store his snacks in his office/gaming area which isn't even on the same floor. We have multiple spots for them that aren't hard to reach, it's just not sitting out in my face all day. I also told him earlier that I was trying not to eat many cookies that day because my progress was slowing down due to us eating out a lot. I went out to shop for groceries bc I wanted to meal plan, and my husband left the dishes for me to do when I got back. It was over an hour of grocery shopping and I was tired and hungry when I got back. I started doing the dishes first and opened the cabinet that only stores our cups. And there's two damn cookies right there in front of me. I was mad because I had went the entire day eating only one cookie, but the reasoning for not having sweets out in the open was clear in that moment because I ate one quickly and was about to start on the other. But I decided to just throw it away because it was the only place of finality that meant I could not get it later and devour it. My husband came up and I explained that he put the cookie in a terrible spot and I saw it and almost ate them both. He said good thing I didn't because he wanted the last one. And that's when I said I threw it out. He thinks I'm a jerk for tossing it, I think he was a jerk for putting it in the dumbest location possible, knowing I was going to do the dishes and see it. He literally just had to walk less than 5 steps over to the snack shelf and put it there. Tl;Dr. I'm on a weight loss journey, we don't leave snacks out in the open bc of it (but designated areas). My husband left cookies his mom baked in a cabinet meant for only cups although knowing I was going to do the dishes and so I tossed one of them after eating one, to prevent myself from eating the other. So am I the asshole for throwing it away?Edit;. Alright. Time to move on from reading comments. To those who voted me as the asshole. I get it. It's food waste. To the ones calling me an asshole for making my family suffer - fully read my post, our house has lots of sweets and snacks. In fact I realized we still have chocolate chip cookies frozen in our freezer. No one is suffering in an inability to indulge themselves when they want to. To those who said NTA, thanks. I think everyone deals with food in their own ways. Mine was cemented in my head to be unhealthy at a young age so here I am. Unable to control myself at times. Thanks! | AITA for throwing away cookies given to us by my MIL | NTA |
10wtqjc | I’m (20F) at Uni in the UK. I have a classmate / friend Izzy who is on the same course as me. She was raised up North in a village where everyone is white (although she admits that she went to school and college in the nearby cities so it’s not like she’s never encountered someone from an ethnic minority before.)I’m from a South Asian background and I’m a practicing Muslim so I wear hijab. We were talking about the politics of the Partition and Izzy asked why I seemed so passionate about the topic so I said “well because that’s where my family is from!”And then she said “Oh I didn’t realise you were a *Paki* I thought you were Arabic!”There are so many things wrong with that sentence. But well. I have had that same P word weaponised against me and members of my family suffered violence specifically because of our heritage by people using that word.I couldn’t believe she would use it and I told her “Don’t ever use that slur again!”She started saying”How is that offensive? That’s not a slur don’t overreact!”I left the study group and I haven’t directly spoken to her since. She text me to say I’m being ridiculous and how is it even a slur so I told her that if she’s studying Politics she should know how or at least figure out how to look it up.When I mentioned it to my parents they said that i should have sat and explained the history to her and that I have a responsibility to make sure she doesn’t use it to anyone elseDoes not wanting to do that make me the AH?(**EDIT:** it is recognised in the UK by the relevant govt authorities as being a slur equally as offensive as the n word and has been for years) | AITA for not wanting to explain to a friend why the word she used is a slur? | NTA |
10xnrhh | My husband and I have 3 children (25f)(16m)(13f). Our oldest moved out 3 years ago with her boyfriend, and got an appartment. They were together 4 years before that, so it wasn't like she ran off with some guy she just met. We supported her decision, she was old enough and working full time. The issue is rent in our area has more than doubled on average since. Their landlord raised the rent 40% in the span of 3 months, and they couldn't afford to stay there anymore. The issue is they weren't exactly swimming in cash before that, they don't really have enough for first last and security with the market, not that there's much to but anyway in their price range.Their plan was to move in with her boyfriends parents for a few months while they figured stuff out and saved up, but they won't let her come with. So they proposed an idea, she'd move back in with us, him with his parents, and they'd save up and be gone in 6 months tops. The issue is me and my husband don't feel that's appropriate. She's an adult now, and she needs to learn to take care of herself, not relying on handouts from her parents. She offered to pay rent, but we would only do that if she agreed to pay the market average plus her share of utilities, which would mean she couldn't save up like she wants to.Because we aren't doing that, she's been force to share a 2 bed appartment with 6 other people, some of whom she finds "sketchy". I feel for her, but I still think it's her responsibility. At this point she doesn't call much anymore and I'm worried this may have impacted our relationship. | AITA for not letting our daughter move back home? | YTA |
10xdapp | I'd just like to say my brother is 14 and he came out this year, I've always tried to be as supportive as I can especially since our parents are really trans phobic. I brought him a binder and a flag, I also yelled at our parents multiple times for stuff they've said too our family members about him. Now on to the problem I'm 26 and I have a 4 year old I named Finley, he's always loved my brother and I got my brother to explain to him what being trans was and he was great with it.My brother has been in between names for about 4 months, so since he came out to me he changed his name almost every week, this week he had messaged me saying he's found a name he really likes and says he thinks it would stick. When I tell you my mouth dropped, he messaged me that he was gonna call himself Finn. I didn't get mad or anything so I messaged back "but Finley?" Trying to point it out without sounding harsh but he messaged back "but it's a completely different name, I don't go by Finley I go by Finn and Finley never gets called Finn" I honestly just got really uncomfortable and tried to tell him how much it was gonna confuse people including my son who's best friends always call him Finn, it's only family who don't. I've tried to reason with him but he won't budge so we haven't talked in 2 days and I'm kinda waiting till he announces he's changed it again | AITA for telling my trans brother to change his name. | NTA |
10wuipu | So my wife and I are expecting our daughter in about a month (she’s 35 weeks now) and yesterday she started a conversation about me being present in the delivery room. She said it’s important for her that I’m there for support and comfort and that she would feel vulnerable and abandoned and alone if I weren’t. Now, I desperately want my wife to be as comfortable as she possibly could and I want to be there for her every step of the way but the truth is, I honestly don’t know if I would be able to help her much. I fear I would collapse and the doctors would have to deal with me instead of her and that just isn’t rational. I get very sick at the sight of blood, I know, it’s probably stupid but I can’t help it, I’ve fainted a dozen times because of this and I just know I would be more of a hindrance to her than help. One of our friends gave up a video recording of his wife giving birth and I couldn’t watch it. I understand, childbirth is a very natural, amazing and wonderful event but what I saw, little as it was, on that video still haunts me.Honestly, I’m pretty ashamed of this because it makes me feel weak and I hate that I can’t be there for my wife. I understand that she has to actually go through all of that not just see it, but my bottom line is that I’m convinced I won’t be able to stay and support her - I’ll either have to leave the room or just pass out next to her. She got very upset when I told her all that and we’ve barely spoken since. Am I being an asshole? | AITA for refusing to be with my wife while she’s giving birth to our daughter? | YTA |
10wxtgd | My (22F) friend (24F) recently got married, and this situation has been playing in my head ever since.I have quite a handful of tattoos, my chest is done, I have a full back piece, and I have my arms done (not fully but enough for it to be pretty hard to cover), none of my tattoos have offensive things, they're flowers, butterflies, I have a tattoo dedicated to my mom, my back piece is a very bold Japanese style dragon, with cherry blossoms around it to fill out the space. The wedding had an elegant dress code, we had to wear formal full-length evening gowns, which was a nice choice. I bought a dress a few months ago specifically for this event, it was full-length as asked, and it had off-the-shoulder straps (I'm really bad at describing it), and it was also black, and quite pricey (it was hard to find a dress like this around me).A month before the event, my friend called me and told me she wants me to wear a dress that "covers my ink" to the wedding. I informed her I had already bought a dress for her wedding and reminded her that I sent her photos of it. She told me she just saw it and that she wanted me to find a different one. I told her I wasn't going to be able to return the dress I bought and she told me to suck it up and that I should've known she would've wanted me to cover my tattoos, even though she is heavily tattooed. I asked if she would pay me back for the dress as it was expensive and she had plenty of time to tell me her specific request and she told me no. I was a little angry, to say the least, but said okay.I couldn't find a dress that met her specific requests to save my life. I looked online and most of the top parts were lace and see-through, I am also allergic to lace, or it's an irritant at least (actually found this out while shopping for the original dress.). I went to shops all around town, even travelled out of my way to look at boutiques, and still couldn't find anything.The day before the wedding came and I called her multiple times, but she didn't pick up. I called her house, and her fiance/husband picked up, I explained that I couldn't find a dress to cover all my tattoos and that I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. He told me she would want me to be there, and not only that the reservations will be messed up if I don't come. I told him I didn't want to cause any drama and would rather not come. He told me it was nonsense and told me to show up, it won't matter at the end of the day.I did show up and wore a shawl over my shoulder to at least attempt to hide the tattoos. And all I got were side eyes from her and daggers. She's still pissed off at me for not being able to meet her request, but her husband and the rest of our friends think that her requests were out of line.Edit 1: I was not part of the bridal party, I was offered right at the beginning but I knew I wouldn't be able to dedicate as much time as everyone else since I am in school becoming a Nurse Practitioner, and I also work as a nurse doing 12's and sometimes more.Edit 2: I know a lot of people say you can't be allergic to lace, just saying the bodily reaction I had was very similar to an allergic reaction, I broke out into hives and almost scratched my skin raw when I tried on a dress with lace sleeves and lace top. Sorry folks. | AITA for wearing a short sleeve dress to a wedding? | NTA |
10xd30m | I24f asked my sister Susan to housesit my house for 2 days and basically make sure my cats fed. Long story short, Susan claimed my cat ran out the door under her feet and got hit. I grieved and was so depressed for a good week after, I’ve had my cat for 4 years. The weird thing was though that my cat was usually scared of the outside. Fast forward, I ask my sister if I can come by, she makes up an excuse. She did this for 3 days. Finally I show up unannounced and my niece lets me in, then excitedly ask me, “wanna see our new kitty?” I say yes, and she shows me an exact identical cat, of mine. Definitely my cat. I call my cat by it’s name and she came running to me. The only difference between the cats were someone did a horrible job shaving this one’s face (it’s long haired) My sister came in yelling that I couldn’t just walk in her house (even though I’ve done it a million and one times before.) I told her I wanted my cat back, and she denied it being mine.I went home and did a lot of research and was looking into lawyers, and evidence I needed. I then texted my sister today (I lied) and said I had a lawyer and I would be taking her to court for stealing my cat. She sent me an angry text back how if I took her to court I’d be a horrible sister and she has kids to think of and I don’t, and that my lovable cat made her want to get one blah blah blah the kids love their new cat. I told her I didn’t care, she told me I was acting crazy over a cat and how she’ll never forgive me.I’m not a delusional woman, the cat was IDENTICAL to mine, came directly to its name. I love the cat like it’s my child. My sister has done messed up things to me in the past, but I never thought she would do this. AITA | AITA for threatening to take my sister to court over assumptions of her taking my cat | NTA |
10xern5 | My son's dad and I have gotten to the point of total communication breakdown. He also lies about me nonstop. I decided to keep him honest the only way I know how by publishing screenshots of all our conversations (which I take immediately, before he can delete) as well as relevant paperwork (with addresses and important numbers blacked out) on my Facebook. I also text them to his mom and grandma.He's said I'm being unfair, because our personal disputes should just be between us. I disagree. I think it's fine to use public shaming to motivate him if he does shameful things. He says I'm being a cunt because I don't even wait for him to not do something before I publish the receipts of saying he will. But at that point it would be too late.So what will happen is it'll be time for him to pick up our son and his boys will say "aren't you supposed to be with your son" and his grandma will text him to remind him to pay me. He says I've made his life a living hell and he can't find a moment's peace. I think that's his problem, but am I an asshole for doing this to him? | AITA for publishing receipts always? | NTA |
10x4lj2 | I (24M) am estranged from my brother (20M) for reasons that are my fault (extended bullying on my end when we were kids). He went no-contact with me when I moved out for college, and in those years without contact I realized how wrong my behavior was and started therapy. I’ve since expressed my remorse and desire to make amends to my brother, but he’s declined any further contact.For family events in the years since he went no-contact with me, we’ve sort of traded off. He’ll go to one thing, I’ll go to the next. But my mom is getting remarried in the fall, and obviously she wants us both to be there. I’ve told my mom that I’ll do whatever I can do make it possible for both of us to be there. If he doesn’t want to talk to me at the event, I’ll do my best to make myself scarce when he’s around. But it’s looking increasingly like my brother will choose not to attend if I’m there.My therapist wants me to stand my ground and go anyway, but I’m feeling really guilty about it, especially since the estrangement is entirely my fault. My brother has good reasons for not wanting to see me. I’m remorseful now, but for many years in our childhood I treated him terribly. I feel like choosing to go is sending him the message that I’m more important to the family than he is.Edit: Thanks for the perspectives, guys. I’m choosing not to elaborate on some things that might give context because I worry about this post becoming too identifiable and I know this sub has a large reach. I hope this doesn’t come across as unfair/not playing by the rules of the sub. I appreciate that people have given responses based on different assumptions, because I know the situation and can determine if the comments ring true to it. The most important takeaway I have right now is that it might be time to seek another therapist who can give me a second opinion with the full context, rather than just the limited context I can give to Reddit. | WIBTA if I went to my mom’s wedding knowing it means my brother won’t attend? | NAH |
10x50i0 | I (f20) am acquaintances with Layla (f21). We are in the same major and our university is small so we know basically everyone in our program.We enjoy going to this Chinese restaurant every two weeks with friends and last week I remarked while we were there that I wish I could read Chinese because the English translations on the menu seemed off.Layla got upset and corrected me saying I should say Mandarin instead of Chinese. I explained that I don't want to assume all dialects are Mandarin so I just say Chinese. I grew up around Chinese immigrants who mostly spoke Cantonese but I don't feel I can distinguish between the two dialects accurately. I speak only English and my parents immigrated here from Nigeria so it is linguistically unfamiliar to me. No one else at the table thought much of what I said but Layla has taken it upon herself to call me microaggressive every chance she gets now. Our other friends want to stay out of it and won't say anything when she gets aggressive toward me.This "situation" has stopped classes because she felt like arguing with me as she demands an apology.I personally don't feel like being bullied into a BS apology, especially by a white person on the basis of racism. I believe people are going to speak up soon because Layla's antics have disrupted lectures and presentations. We have Chinese acquaintances who haven't said much aside from understanding the exact issue. Yesterday, Layla asked our race inclusivity professor if someone "for example" said Chinese instead of Mandarin was an example of racism. She sat two rows in front of me and turned back to glare at me as she asked it. Layla does this a lot, even in classes where this isn't relevant. I want the drama to end.AITA for saying Chinese instead of Mandarin when I wasn't sure of which dialect?​Edit: Layla and I are NOT friends. She thinks we are because I'm a black person in her vicinity. I don't invite her over or hang out with her, I play nice because our industry is small but everyone else knows I do not like her. Last school year she tried to correct me on my own culture and I have since avoided talking to her. She is a white international student from Colombia, so I thought there might be some miscommunication in this situation. Still, she has been malicious towards me since day 1 so I doubt that.​EDIT 2: I can't reply to comments for some reason but to answer some questions:\-Layla is 0% Chinese. I know this because she brags about being 5% black and 95% Italian. If she was any part Asian, she would not let me hear the end of it\-The professor she asked said "that's a weird thing to ask right now, but it depends on context" and moved on. We were discussing diversity in Asian media so I think he took it as her virtue signaling.\-My friends don't like "gossiping" so when I tried to talk with them about it, they cut me off saying they don't want to gossip about a friend. Whenever Layla is around or wants to see me, a few agreed to act as a buffer and for the most part, they do that. Not in this instance so I think I'm going to take a break from the group. | AITA for saying Chinese instead of Mandarin? | NTA |
10xgka1 | My BF and I bought our first home from an elderly couple in January of 2022. Initially, I kept in contact with one of them (lets call her Barb) in the event that we might receive some of their mail or something. Contact was very occasional and was always something along the lines of asking if I received a package of hers or that she wanted to mail us a key that she found that went to the lock on our shed.​Months after we moved in, around early October, we received some dining chairs in a box addressed to Barb. A day or two later, a repeat of the exact same shipment arrived. I attempted to contact Barb but my calls would not go through.​A few weeks later, I came home from work and my BF (who frequently gets home before me) told me that he was starting to feel guilty about the situation and asked me to follow him to our garage. Apparently, packages containing furniture and decor had been coming regularly for weeks and we now had a garage full of boxes that were not addressed to us. My boyfriend had been storing the boxes and assuming the shipments would stop, but they continued.​We doubled down and try harder to contact Barb with the help of other neighbors. We finally got in touch with her and she explained that she had lost her phone and that was why I was unable to contact her for some time. I explained the situation to her, and she gave me permission to open some of the items so I could describe them to her. She then told me that she had not ordered any of the items.​It turns out that, prior to moving, Barb had a friend of hers help her order furniture for her new home as she can't see well and was having trouble navigating the furniture website. This friend used her own computer to order Barb's things as a favor. I immediately became concerned that Barb was being robbed, and I urged her to contact her bank first and then her friend second.​Barb let me know days later that the charges were not fraudulent, it was a simple case of forgetting to change the shipping address, and the friend wanted to set up a time to come pick up her furniture from me. I explained that myself and my BF work a lot and I wanted to set up a time when I wouldn't be home alone. I don't know this person and I couldn't lift half of the furniture by myself to move it anyway.​I began receiving calls from Barb and her friend day and night asking me to find the time to let them collect the items. After a few weeks, my BF and I finally had a weekend off together. I messaged both Barb and her friend with a day and time and received no reply from either person. By the first of the year, still nothing. I began receiving calls again at the end of January, after we had already gotten rid of most of the items since we had not heard back. I have not been answering the calls. It has been over a year that we have lived here, and several months since we received the furniture. Am I the asshole here? | AITA for no longer accepting calls from the previous owner of my house? | YTA |
10wwrd1 | While I don't think it's a big deal, I feel it may be asked. So I will state first and foremost that I have never liked dogs and especially dog nutters. I'm not talking about dog lovers. I'm talking about the individuals who would spit in a kids face for looking at their animal because they are "such a protective mama/papa bear to their fur babies". This seems judgemental and perhaps it is. But added to the context, what I mentioned above describes a good 70% of my family and my fiances family combined. Most are kid free but treat their dogs like royalty in a sense of treating everyone else like shit. I was excluded a lot until I was over the age of 18 simply because they prefer dogs to children and were vocal and rude about it. I couldn't even go to a family event as a child without being overlooked by most adults. Multiple gifts being handed out to the dogs, as well as hundreds of photos taken of them, when I got maybe 1 to 2 things and no photos. So no, I don't like dogs and I don't like those kind of people. BUT as I've gotten older I actually get along really well with a lot of the individuals who hated me as a child despite me being a quiet kid who stuck to myself.Anywho, all of our recent family weddings have been strictly kid free. I have no problems with what they want to do with their weddings. But I have 3 siblings, all of which have 2 kids under the age of 7. I also have a few cousins and collectively have 8 kids under the age of 11. With all of the other adults, they have about 10 dogs combined, I believe, and bring them everywhere because the whole family allows it. But my fiance and I talked and he is very respectful of the fact that I do not want dogs at my wedding but I DO want the kids there. I want them all to be included as little ring bearers and flower girls. All of them, which is completely out of the norm and a bit chaotic but they don't get included in anything and I think it will be a blast for them. So I sent out the invites that specifically said no dogs are allowed under any circumstances. Not even your emotional support dogs- which a few people in the family have claimed their dogs are (for no other reason other than "they give me a happy boost so they are my emotional support baby"- no other ailments). A lot of calls and texts were sent to me in regards to this and a few were down right angry, stating that I am being ridiculous because their dogs are their kids and if I didn't want to include them then I shouldn't be allowing children either because they are "much more chaotic than our precious fur baby". I politely said that if they didn't like it they didn't have to attend. The kid bearing family members are ecstatic but a lot of the others have declined the invite- which upsets my fiance because this means his brother, sister and father won't be attending. But I'm standing my ground. AITA?ETA: I did make one single exception for my grandfather because he has a service dog who monitors his seizures but he is the only dog allowed.Also, my fiance's father doesn't have a dog himself. He refuses to attend the wedding because my fiance's sister went and cried to him for us not allowing her to bring her two Chihuahuas. His sister is 28 years old and has her father wrapped around her finger and still throws tantrums to get her way. So my future FIL has stated that he won't attend until we make an exception for my future SIL. It's a power trip and manipulation at best. But no, my fiance isn't upset with me. He's upset that his father is making his big day all about his childish sister. | AITA for making my wedding dog free? | NTA |
10x6s0q | I (f16) am always cooking dinner for my family, even though I have a lot of extracurricular activities and AP (advanced placement) classes that take up a lot of time. I enjoy cooking and know I'm good at it, so I don't really mind and sometimes offer to cook. This past week I cooked dinner every night (5 nights&5 meals) for my dad, stepmom, and 2 brothers, only ONE of those nights I didn't have a single practice. My step-nephew (m8) stays with us on Monday and Tuesday nights. Well last night I was super exhausted and decided that I didn't feel like cooking. I was really craving sushi from a nearby restaurant and wanted to get some delivered. I told my dad and he said he'd make something for everyone else and offered to pay for my sushi, even though I was planning on buying it myself. My dad cooked burgers for everyone (because he knows it's something I don't eat and my nephew, who is very picky, will eat). My food got delivered right as my dad finished cooking, so I sat down and ate with them. My nephew suddenly decided he HATES burgers, but loves sushi (he had tried sushi before and absolutely hated it, he just liked the idea of it). He threw an absolute fit and yelled and cried because he wanted my food. My dad and step mom both just said to give my food to him and I could have his burger. I got really frustrated and said that I had cooked every night this week and just wanted a break for one night to enjoy someone else's food, and they said that I could enjoy someone else's food, as in the burger. I reminded them that I don't like burgers and they said I needed to grow up and stop being a baby and just eat it. My nephew ate one bite of sushi and spat it out on top of the rest of the role. I just ate chips for dinner. I got very frustrated and went to my room, crying out of frustration.My dad came into my room and said if anyone should be mad it's him because he cooked the burgers and bought the sushi, even though I was planning on buying the sushi myself. He said I was being childish and a spoiled brat. AITA? | AITA For being angry my 8yo nephew ate my food? | NTA |
10wygm3 | ive (18F) had a very rocky school life. in the 2nd grade i was moved from an English school to an Afrikaans school after moving in with my mother, as it was cheaper and next to our flat. the language change was hardi would walk my brother to his nursery school a couple blocks away, and then my sister and i would walk to school. my mother would only come home at around 6pm so i helped with my siblings homework, did dishes, washing, cleaned the house and generally cooked supper as well. because of this i hardly did my own homework. i'd often tell my teachers that i felt sick so i could go to the sickbay and sleepin the 6th grade my mother said she didnt have enough money to put all 3 of us in school the next year, as my brother would be going to grade 1, and said i'd have to wait. i didnt attend school for the next 2 years. i was then put in a English homeschool as it was cheaper, so another swap. i was put in grade 9, so i never did grade 7-8. i failed that year, but she pushed me through to the next grade anyway. i was scared that if i failed again they would put me in grade 7, so i cheated my way through grade 10-11. the invigilators noticed at the end of grade 11 and i was expelledi was then put back into a normal school to repeat grade 11, i didnt have much faith in being able to pass, so i got a job parttime, expecting that i'd drop out after failing. by some miracle i passed, and am now in matric. i quit my job so i could put my all into this yeari focus in every class, do all my homework, classwork and studying. its the first time ive ever really been allowed to make school my priority. but if i do my homework i dont get to my studying, and if i study i dont get to my homework. im so tired all the time. our first set of exams are starting on Friday and i feel completely unpreparedi spoke to my mother about my struggling yesterday, and she said i was being ridiculous and that she passed without ever having failed or without ever having had to cheat, she said my struggling now was a consequence of my actions. i told her she'd been in the same school from grade 1-12 because her mother made sure she had stability in her life, and that its not surprising she never struggled in the same wayshe yelled at me and said that she was a good mom and that she wasnt the reason my grades werent as high as i want them. i told her i did well in primary school (grade 2-6), and that i got As and Bs, and her always screwing around with my life so she could prioritise my brother and sister was the reason i was struggling. she cried and carried on yelling about how i was disrespectful and ungrateful, her boyfriend had to pull her away back to her room since it carried on for a couple minutes. she isnt speaking to me now, she sent me a long message explaining that if thats how i really feel then i should go move in with my grandmother again "since she was such a perfect mother"AITA? | AITA for telling my mother she's the reason i struggle at school? | NTA |
10x8ccr | An acquaintance who I've only met in person for a few days, who I'll name Bob for the sake of AITA; and I were participating in a gaming competition. He jokingly said that if he won 1st place, he would give me 10% of the winnings. I jokingly responded that if I got 77th place, I would give him $1. We were both clearly joking and everyone, including some of our friends who were there at the time were laughing throughout all this. However, I never agreed to give him anything if I won, and I am usually very careful with giving my word on things since I know I'll have to keep them.I ended up winning first place and Bob is now asking me for 10% of my winnings ($8,000), as if we had an agreement. I told him that I never agreed to anything and suggested that we could work together in the next competition officially so that we could split the winnings if we win. However, he is now begging/spamming and guilt tripping me, saying that he really needs the money even after I said no. He didn't deny that we never made an official agreement either especially on my end.So, AITA for not giving Bob my winnings? | AITA for not sharing my prize? | NTA |
10xkfcx | To make a long story a little shorter, towards the end of my grandmas life she was deceived by a family friend and wrote 50% of her estate to this woman, my mom got 6%, 2 cousins got 14%, and I got 30%. The total estate is worth between 400-450kThey had a 6 month court battle and the family friend settled on 75k and my mom would pay her legal fees. The 2 cousins felt bad for my mom and signed off their collective 14% to her. Now that the family friend has settled, my mom sent me a letter from her lawyer asking me to sign off my 30% to her and that she would “take care of me and to trust her”. She also guilted me telling me how hard this court case has been and that she has had a hard year.I sent her a text telling her that I won’t be signing this paper, but I’m willing to work something out so long as it’s in writing, but that I didn’t think it’s right for her to try to guilt me into giving away my inheritance. Now she is threatening me with lawyers and telling me to is whole ordeal is going to be expensive and mediation starts on 2/15 so I better get a lawyer. She’s had her best friend message me about the whole situation telling me that she is heartbroken, disappointed, and devastated that I’ve taken this route. I told him that I’m very disappointed in her and I don’t think a mother should be trying to take away everything from her son like this and that if she wants to make it work she should put it in writing. I think our relationship has been damaged, but I am really ticked off at her for trying to guilt me and make me the bad person for wanting to keep the gift my grandma gave me? (She loved me a lot and I’d spend every summer with her as a kid) I’m trying to start a business so this money would go a long way.AITA for trying to make sure I keep part of my inheritance and not sign it off to my mom after a long court case and a hard year for her (her other best friend died)Edit: for any of the adult adults here, she is threatening to take this all the way to the end and says the lawyers will take all of the money if I want to take it to court and nobody will get anything. How feasible is that? I can’t really afford a lawyer right now, what are my options? | AITA for refusing to sign off my grandmas inheritance to my mom? | NTA |
10x7oir | From the day we met, one of my husband's primary goals was to bring his daughter Lidia to live with him here in America so she could have a better life and have an actual family with some level of stability and structure. Lidia wanted to come live with us when she was little, but once she was about 15, her tune changed. We thought that it was because she was getting old enough to where her mother's (lack of) rules and structure was less scary and more to her benefit, so we pressed on. He finally won last spring shortly after she turned 17, and we brought her home shortly after.It's been a disaster. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't know anyone here besides her father. There's a huge language barrier, so she can't really talk to us, let alone make friends here. Those would be big enough issues on their own, but it's nothing compared to the practical issues.She's supposed to have dual citizenship, but that either doesn't mean anything or it works differently than any advice we've gotten. Back in her home country, she was a senior in high school, and had already been accepted to several universities. She had some kind of driver's license. Here in America, all of that is meaningless. We can't get her even a learner's permit because her "paperwork isn't right". What's happening with school though...We had heard that the credit transfer would be behind, but every school we've talked to would put her as a sophomore at best. This not only means that she can't graduate this year, but she'd be in high school until she's **20(?!)**.She could get a GED, but that's looked down on by colleges here. We've looked into online, but the online options are viewed about the same or worse than a GED. If we were millionaires, we could just donate to some school to just give her a degree, but we aren't.So by moving here, instead of graduating this year and going to college, she has to be in high school into her 20s or she can't go to college at all. There is an option of sending her back home to live with her mother's friends to just graduate and get it over with and then come back. She'd have to make sure she was back in class there before April, but she'd only have a semester to make up so she could feasibly graduate on time. A high school degree from her home country would equal out, so she could go to college here with no issue.My husband won't hear it. He thinks she'll run away and never come back. He's adamant that there has to be another option and that everyone is just "going off of emotion". 20 schools, 3 lawyers, and tens of thousands of dollars later, I don't think so. I think this might be the only option and that we're running out of time to take advantage of it. As much as I also want her here and want her in this family, this is the wrong time and we shouldn't have pressed for her to come here in the first place. We've been arguing for days over this, and time is running out. | AITA for telling my husband that bringing his daughter to live here was a mistake? | NTA |
10xcoqg | I38f have a younger sister with a pretty big age gap- Laura25 I have 3 kids all practically grown up ages 16, 14 and 12. I’ve raised my kids and their perfectly happy and healthy. Laura has one child, she’s a first time mom, but I felt as if she was babying her son to much. He’s 3 and still only on baby food and breast milk. He does drink apple juice or chocolate milk, and eats basic things like Mac n cheese or mash potatoes, soft chicken nuggets. But that’s all he eats. She refuses to give him a variety, she’s a worry body. She has severe anxiety and is constantly worried of the worst happening.I was babysitting my nephew and I was baking peanut butter cookies. My kids all were eating them, and my nephew wanted to try one. Well 5-10 minutes later I noticed he was red in the face and his eyes looked weird. I was checking him out when I noticed him wheezing. I scooped him up and went directly to the hospital.They said he had a peanut allergy, there was no way I could’ve known. He had never had peanuts before. Laura showed up hysterical, cursing at me, saying how I’d never see her child again. She didn’t know he had a peanut allergy either though, she has never let him try new foods. I don’t think this in anyway my fault. They would have found out sooner or later, and a 3 year old should be trying more food. | AITA for feeding my nephew new food? | NTA |
10xdj2z | I (22F) have been working at a restaurant as a hostess for just about a year. In October we got a new hire, I'll call her Sadie. I was responsible for training her. On her first day, she told me she was 18 and still in high school. I gave her advice on colleges and applying to them and such. On her next shift working with me, she told me that she was a freshman in college and 19. I thought this was odd but I thought maybe I misremembered or something. She also told me about her family and tried to set me up with her brother.Fast forward to now. Sadie was dating a guy at my job. He was telling me that sometimes he catches her in lies. I told him and my other coworker that was standing with us about the odd occurrence that happened on her first day. I looked up on my phone the college was attending and the sports roster for the sport she played. She wasn't on there at all. I then looked up the high school she told me she went to and their sports roster. She was right at the top. With some more digging, we found out that everything she told us was a lie. Her 'brother' was really her long-distance boyfriend. She was also likely 17. I didn't tell anyone about this however the people who were with me did. At my job gossip spreads quickly. I was soon known as the person who exposed her. Sadie proceeded to talk very badly about me to my coworkers. After a few shifts of everyone knowing she had a breakdown and quit because she was being bullied (I'm not sure if people were bullying her). So AITA for exposing my coworker's lies which caused her to possibly be bullied and caused her to quit? | AITA for exposing my coworker which caused her to quit. | NTA |
10xcyzj | When I (29) was 6, my father threatened both my mother and I.He constantly calls her a dunce and selfish when she doesn't cook for him. He insulted her mother (my grandmother) in front of the entire neighbourhood and sulks whenever my gran comes around. He has forced my mother to take out credit card loans (which he pays back for her) and now my mother suffers from high blood pressure (often over 200 systolic) which he has admitted that he knows he is responsible for. In fact, she is convinced that he leaves devices around the home in order to be able to listen while she is home alone.We have discussed her leaving him and she has told me that she is approaching the end of her life and just wants companionship. She has already spent 30 years with him and "no man will want a partially blind older woman who has two grown kids but no education". Even if she does leave, she and my aunt both believe that he will try to stalk her or worse for "ruining his life". I don't trust that the police to keep her safe and I don't blame her for not wanting to make that gamble - I wouldn't myself.My sister has also had bad experiences with him. He has always told her that she is too stupid to be a doctor which is what she always wanted to be. As she has gotten older he has made awful comments about her appearance that makes her uncomfortable (apparently she is too skinny/too ugly so "needs a good education as men won't want her"). He refused to let her do athletics because of the "skimpy clothing". He tells her that her periods are not that bad (as his sister used to be fine on her period) and she is just curling up in bed with her hot water bottle for sympathy. He constantly compares her grades to what mine were. He does not even let her chose what subjects that she studies.In summary, my sister does not want to live with him a moment longer than she has to and as I have recently got my own place she has asked if she can come and live with me. She has even put money from her part time job into furnishing my place. I will never close my door to my sister and told her that she can live with me if that is what she choses to do.My mum has told me that the stress of trying to keep the family together is making her blood pressure skyrocket. She is terrified of being left home alone when she struggles to see and could collapse from high blood pressure at any time. It feels like we are betraying her when it is finally our turn to support her.When I told my little sister what my mother had said she responded with "What can I do? She chose to marry him, I never chose to have him as my father".Would I be the asshole for letting my sister come and live with me? | AITA for letting my little sister (17) live with me and leave my disabled mother (53) alone? | NTA |
10x8a09 | My husband (M42) and I (F42) have 6 kids (F15, M13, F13, and M9, F7 and M7). Our oldest has always been closest to our 13 y/o daughter, our 13 y/o son isn’t that close to any of his siblings because none like sports like he does. Our kids normally get along pretty well though. Recently, there has been trouble with our older set of twins.A few weeks ago, I got a call from the middle school, apparently my daughter and a group of girls she was friends with were picking on a boy for being gay. Our daughter is indefinitely grounded, had her phone taken away among some other things. Our daughter’s friend group is a group of pretty popular kids, but some of their friends have dropped them. Our son is very embarrassed by his twin sister and in the past few weeks, they haven’t been on good terms.My husband and I have sat down with our son and he’s said he has classes with the boy and said he’s a nice kid and thinks his sister is terrible for doing this. The boy is ok thankfully, he has good friends and my son has tried to talk to him to make sure he knows he doesn’t approve of his sister’s behavior. Our daughter still thinks it’s an “overreaction”, which is probably coming from some peers at school feeding her this.Yesterday, my sister was picking up my kids for me, our son was at the gym and our two oldest daughters were getting their nails done for the oldest’s upcoming sweet 16 (in less then a week), the girls were picked up first and then my sister went to get my son. Our 13 y/o daughter asked him what the gym was like, he refused to talk and stuff escalated from there.Last night, our oldest said she doesn’t want her brother coming because she doesn’t want the twins to fight and think he’s in the wrong for “holding a grudge” and said that her sister just “made a mistake, even if a big one”. My husband and I talked and agreed that we wouldn’t allow that, as we see it as a reward for the homophobia. The mani-pedi was also the first time our 13 y/o was allowed out since the incident, because she is grounded, we let her do this because we didn’t want her behavior affecting our oldest negatively.However, when we were talking about this with my parents and siblings, they said that it should be up to our oldest because it’s her day, not ours. They said while they think our 13 y/o’s behavior was unacceptable, and said she should be punished, that it’s “not our choice” who to invite and who not to invite. AITA? | AITA for telling my daughter she can't uninvite her brother from her sweet 16? | NTA |
10xcwai | I (25F) share an office space with two men, "Rob" (36), and "Bill" (50?). I have worked here just over a year, but Rob has worked here for 7 years, and Bill around 13 years. While Bill is incredibly nice and respectful, I've had problems with Rob being way too handsy and making comments/jokes that make me uncomfortable.Part of the problem was that at first the way he acted wasn't malicious and then things got worse over time. At first, he really only did "endearing" things like following me and liking my pictures on Instagram or complimenting my tattoos or outfits... I even used to joke around with him.Things got out of hand when he started doing things like referring to me as his "work wife", touching / squeezing me, staring, make comments about my body such as "You know what you're doing wearing those jeans" or just straight up catcall me when I would do things like walk in/ walk out.Each time I would try to laugh it off and say "that's a weird thing to say" or "buy me dinner first" because I wanted to avoid conflict. But once things escalated to a certain point the way he acted wasn't funny anymore, it was creepy. Especially considering that he is a married man with two kids.I went to management a few months ago because Rob "accidentally" grabbed my breast. I made a formal report about the incident and about how the rest of his behavior made me uncomfortable, I explained everything. I was told they would meet with him, but that I need to be more direct with Rob and not joke back with him as this probably made the situation worse. After his meeting, Bob apologized and said he never meant to make me uncomfortable. He insisted that but that he was just joking and that he didn't mean anything by it, calling it "banter".For a while Rob was completely normal and polite. But slowly he fell back into his previous behavior, starting after he learned that my longtime boyfriend and I had broken up a month ago. Only now he would follow the harassment with "ha-ha kidding" or if I would call him out for staring/touching he would say it was an accident.This all came to a head when the other day he asked me to help him with something when I went to get a chair, he told me that he already had one and gestured to his lap... but it was "ha-ha just a joke". I told him to stop but he kept laughing and told me to chill out. I left our office space and went to our manager's office and told them that Rob was giving me problems again and that I didn’t know what to do anymore and that I wanted to quit.Long story short, Rob was fired, and I agreed to stay with the company. After Rob was fired, he sent me a text saying that I am being completely ridiculous for getting him fired over sexual harassment when because that is completely untrue. He sent me a whole rant about how I was the problem for going along with it and that I twisted the narrative.AITA? | AITA for getting my coworker fired? | NTA |
10wyese | So I F(31) met Lisa F(36) in my accounting class and we started to bond because we are both adult students. She is severely behind on her homework because she said her pipes broke and she has to shower at a hotel every weekend with her 2 daughters. During the week, she has to take wash ups in her sink. She is taking 7 classes this semester to graduate on time in May. She asked if I could stay with her at school to have a homework session. I told her that it is very uncomfortable for me to stay at school to do homework because 1. My son comes home from school around 345 and I need to be home when he gets there. 2. It is so uncomfortable to sit at school and do homework. I need to be in the comfort of my own home. So I invited her and her two daughters over for a homework session and also a play date. She thanked me and told me she’ll bring a pizza for the kids and she’ll be there at 630 pm. I have been wanting to cook curry chicken and rice for a while so I decided to cook it before she arrived. She then came earlier than expected (530 pm). I made enough for me, herself, and also my neighbor and her kids because they are big fans of what I made, but not for my son and my classmates kids. My son (6) already told me that he wanted ramen instead and also she said she was bringing pizza. So she comes and immediately goes upstairs to poop. It was a little awkward but didn’t think too much about it. I noticed she didn’t bring any pizza and I asked about it. She said that she got her two daughters (5 and 9) Wendy’s instead. I asked her daughter how old she was and she said 5. She’s taller than my son and weighs more. Her mom immediately corrects her and says 3. This kid also had a speech impediment. I apologize to the mom because I notice the daughters looking around and asking for food. The nine year old was very blunt and kept asking for the food, popcorn, and ramen. I made enough for myself to have leftovers the next day but I also told myself it’s not my responsibility. Obviously, the kids are either poor and don’t have enough adequate food or either have a mental illness or both. A few hours later, the kids said they didn’t want to leave and the mom asked for them to spend the night and I said no because I was very overwhelmed and plus it’s a weeknight and it’s their first time here. EDIT: AITA for not giving them my leftovers which was one piece of chicken, rice and veggies and telling them no about spending the night? I did give the kids snacks. (Popcorn and Oreos ) she said the 9 year olds Wendy’s “accidentally” got thrown away.2nd Edit: I invited her over for dinner and she declined saying she had class tonight. I said the kids can come over when she goes to school instead of staying with dad at the house. At least that what she told me what happens when she does go to school. | AITA for not feeding my colleagues kids? | NTA |
10xmudq | My husband (26 M) died in December and left me with a life insurance policy. I was only expecting a couple thousand dollars but the payout turned out to be substantial. My husband was sick for a very long time and toward the end I needed help and my parents offered to help me and allowed us to move into their home. Now that my husband has died and I have money my parents are expecting me to use all the funds I received to pay off their mortgage. I know that if I do pay off their mortgage I’m never going to see that money again. My mother fully expects me to do this for them. When the check arrived the first thing out of her mouth was “you can pay off the house” the second things was “$300,000 is the price of your freedom”. In truth I don’t want to I have a bad feeling about it and while I am extremely thankful for their help this feel disproportionate. My husband and I moved in less than a year ago and the whole time I’ve been living here I have paid rent and I have helped with utilities and groceries (in short I haven’t been a freeloader or a burden). The car I drive to and from work is under my dad’s name and the very first thing I did was pay it off. I really don’t know how to approach this or how to tell them that I’m not comfortable doing this but at the same time they are so confident and sure that this is the “right” thing to do and what is “owed” to them that I’m really questioning myself and wondering if I’m being a greedy asshole. I have aspirations of purchasing my own home and putting money aside for retirement. I am not opposed to, and I will happily, giving them some money to show my gratitude but the idea of giving them the full amount creates a pit in my stomach. AITA? | WIBTA if I refuse to pay off my parents mortgage? | NTA |
10xkekk | Me and my “wife” (29F), Taylor, have known each other for a long time. If you know me, I’m kind of guy who is a joker, but would of given you the shirt off my back. You’re probably wondering why “wife” is in quotatian marks.Well, I had an old buddy from the military who wrote on the bottom of his shoes in Magic marker at his wedding— kind of like Woody in Toy Story, except instead of “Andy” he wrote “Help Me!”. and it was really funny. And it helped show off their personality because they are the kind of couple that doesn’t take themselves too seriously.That’s always how I’ve seen me and Taylor. She’s the kind of girl who loves to laugh.I wanted to help plan the wedding as much as I could. I made sure we all had suits who needed them. I talked on the phone with some of the vendors. And I had my hands in 5 Alarm Baked beans to feed 200 people up until an hour before the ceremony.I got to see a side of Taylor I never saw before. You know how ladies can get about weddings. All of a sudden I’m hearing about things like “fire codes” and fire Marshalls, place cards and place MATS.Taylor and I are always pulling pranks on each other. So I thought it’d be fun to lighten the mood on the big day. Taylor and I love the water, and we love to fish. Sometimes we let them go, and sometimes we throw them on the grill.Like I said, we wanted our wedding to show off our personality. We even had a table to honor the ones who couldn’t be there with us that day.After the kiss, I had my little brothers lower a banner for pictures. The first one was the one with our names on it (think “Meet The Smith’s”). Then, the next one was I had someone on Etsy make me a banner of a Cartoon fish (like those singing ones from the store) saying “Hook, Line, And Sinker. HELP ME!”I never would of guessed how angry she would be. I thought it would give her a laugh after all the wedding planning stress. I didn’t mean any harm. And I apologized in front of everyone. But Taylor left before we even got to do the receiving line. She said that she doesn’t think I’m ready to get married and that now neither is she.Long story short, I’m living at my Nana’s house. And I don’t know if I have a wife anymore. Taylor won’t pick up the phone. She’s blocked me on all social media.Reddit, I put up a “help me” sign at our wedding as a joke. AITA? | AITA for playing a prank on my wife (29F) at my (31M) wedding? | YTA |
10x1oe4 | So the backstory, my parents weren't the most responsible people so I ended up spending alot of time with my grandparents, as I grew up I felt a closer connect to them then my parents. Skip forward when I graduated, I moved out of my parents and in with my grandparents at first it was just to find a job and apartment, but then their health started to fail so I decided to take care of them. About 6 years later, both have passed and it turns out they left me the house as a thank you. My mom was happy for me, she admitted she hated to lose the biggest part of her inheritance, but was overall happy for me. My aunt however went scorched Earth, she even tried suing me claiming I must have manipulated them, to make I long story short my mom ended giving the rest of her inheritance to my aunt in agreement that she can't sue me. Now 2 years later I have a great job in a neighboring city about an hour away and am thinking about moving there, so I can be closer to work and I can afford a nicer house. I talked to family and friends about it. My mom said she would have never helped me if she thought I was going to move out of the house. My aunt, who somehow found out, said she would have fought harder for the house, if she had know. Apparently everyone thought I was just going to live in that house for the rest of my life. Some are saying, it's your life and house and good for you for wanting to improve, some are saying just continue the commute, others are saying I am horrible for even thinking about sell a "family home". So reddit Aita? | AITA for selling my house and moving? | NTA |
10x9dwz | Hey! So this happened a couple months ago when I (F25) flew to New York. I bought myself a window seat on the plane because I like the window, not really any other reason. So we board the plane and I sit on my designated seat. After a bit this mom and her kid, less than 10 years old sit down on my row, the mom in the corner and the kid in the middle. Of course, the mom asks me to switch with her kid because he likes the window. I simply say no, don't really make an excuse or anything. The mom looked shocked I said no, and insisted. I don't really like talking to strangers and I wasn't looking for a fight so I said no again and put on my headphones so she drops it, but I don't really turn them on. She starts bad mouthing me and got the flight attendants attention, the attendant told her that it was my choice, asked her if it was going to be a problem, I guess that was threatening enough to make her shut up. It was an awkward flight. And when we got there she deliberately took a long time to get up and probably insulted me, though I couldn't hear her cause this time I was listening to music. I told my friend this story and she said I should've just moved, but idk I mean I reserved that seat. AITA? TLDR I refused to give this kid the window seat and his mom got mad at me, aita?Edit: I showed my friend the post and she said that what she meant is that the kid probably doesn't get to travel much and was let down, but she loves kids so I can see why she would just think of him. She says she personally would've switched and is now saying she never defended the mom. It's all okay though. Thanks reddit! | AITA for not switching seats? | NTA |
10xnl9n | I am from the UK and my family has been there for generations. I am a black British person. I am doing an exchange semester in the United States and have a roommate here. We get along alright as in we are cordial but he is not the type of person I would be friends with.Recently, I was hanging with him and some other mates and he said I was African American so assumed I should know about something to do with African American culture that we were talking about. I assumed he just slipped up. but he doubled down and said that African American was a race, and that I am being offensive by using the term black and explained that the word American is important as it makes me belong and the word African makes me part of a group of Americans. I told him he was an AH-American as he is an American and AH clarifies the kind of American he is. He got mad and is still annoyed at me for saying that but later told me that he thinks maybe British African might also work to describe me.I thought we were over with this but he seems to be still frustrated with me and insinuating that I owe him an apology and because we are roommates I cannot avoid him. | AITA for calling my flatmate an AH-American after he insisted I am an African American | NTA |
10xlb8i | My 43F daughter 17F was dating a girl for two years who recently passed away due to reasons I won’t be disclosing. After the fact, my intelligent, popular, and successful daughter became completely a shell of herself and even wore clothes that used to belong to said girl for comfort. Obviously I tried to give her space to heal. Recently though, I noticed she’d been looking happier and had more life in her eyes, more like her usual self.Until they turn 18, I will be monitoring all of my kids’ internet history due to safety concerns. I noticed she’s been spending a lot of time on a Character AI website. I found this fairly unusual so I asked her about it, and she told me she created a “character” she could talk to that had all the personality traits, quirks, and inside jokes that she had with her girlfriend. This AI could even do roleplays, which my daughter tried.I told her I understand her pain but this is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism and she should be speaking to her friends and family instead. She looked heartbroken and isn’t speaking to me at the moment…AITA | AITA for Telling my Daughter Not to Make an AI of Her Dead Girlfriend? | YTA |
10xh3qa | My wife and I have been having some marital difficulties of late. Part of this stems from my work travel schedule, and the demands of my job, and has resulted in us going to therapy. That hasn't worked out because our therapist was... less than competent. He actually made things infinitely worse by creating communication issues for a week by telling my wife not to respond if I contacted her while I was traveling and that he would message me that he would talk to me solo the next week... except **he never did**. So I was texting my wife for a week to no response, and she thought he had asked me not to, so she thought I was fucking with her.So this week, when I returned home from travel, my wife was noncommunicative the first day or so. We talked a bit the next night, sorted out the above issue (after which I fired the therapist) and she divulged under duress that she was planning to see other people. There was a lot more to the discussion, but given that, she talked about spending the rest of the week at friends' houses. I mentioned that I would need the car to go on what was our planned ski trip, indicating I would be going alone.The following morning, she said she was thinking about just staying that night at a friend's and coming back the next. So I was optimistic that maybe we would work things out. Then she talked about going to visit her sister and using a friend's car to do that. The ski trip and her sister's house are the same general direction, both several hours drive. So, being an optimist, I said maybe she could just drop me off. She says something about 'not being able to go on her dream vacation?'. Immediately, I got a funny vibe, but I let it go.Well, tonight she calls after work, and has decided to spend both tonight and tomorrow at friends, and then all day Friday doing personal stuff, and then come home to pack for the trip Saturday. Clearly when she says 'the trip', she means skiing. She says that she'll drop me off, go to her sister's and then maybe come up for a few days. I didn't respond at all on the call so as not to fly off the handle.After we hung up, I texted her that I did not want to spend all that time in a car with someone who clearly did not want to be around me, just for the sake of convenience, and that I would rent a car and she could take ours. And that if she wanted to ski, I would send her the email with the pre-paid pass info. Without being explicit, I was implying that she would not be welcome to stay in the room. I wrote that I felt I was being used for the trip (that I paid for 100% of and would cancel were I able to at this point) and she would clearly rather be with anyone but me.Am I the asshole for telling my wife not to come on our planned vacation? | AITA for telling my wife not to come on vacation | NTA |
10x8dyj | Sorry I posted this on the throwaway account before by mistake so reposting now on actual account Hi everyoneSo a little context, I (25f) have a strange family dynamic- I come from a very big family. There are eight of us altogether, but I only have one full sister. The rest are all half siblings from both my mum’s and my dad’s side. Now I have a brother who is 21. I’ll call him D. He was adopted out of the family as a baby, me and my other sister were very young at the time and lived with our dad as my mother was seen as an unfit parent. Because my dad wasn’t D’s dad, he was adopted. My mother then married and then had 3 other children nearly a decade later. D reached out to me in 2021 and he said he wanted to get to know his birth family. We met up once, he came to my baby shower last February, met my mother there and even spent Christmas with her last year. But me and him haven’t seen each other since February. Now here’s the dealD has a girlfriend (20) who I’ll refer to as M. I don’t know M in person but last year she added me on fb. I accepted as I wanted to get to know D properly and she was supposedly apart of his life. However, she then kept harassing me to find out why D wasn’t answering his phone and if D has spoken about her, demanding answers why it was taking D so long to pick up the phone. It didn’t stop there unfortunately and when I say this woman is mentally unstable I do actually mean it and I don’t say that lightly. My son was then taken to hospital with bronchitis last November and I had enough of her messaging me about D continuously so I asked her if she could stop messaging me about D because I don’t know her and I barely know D and I’m more concerned over my baby who was in hospital. She said some pretty unkind things and then blocked me. Anyway I’m getting married in 2 months now. I invited D to my wedding and gave him a plus 1 because I believed it was the polite thing to do. The RSVP date has been and gone, so I start chasing people up to see if they are attending or not. I messaged D at the end of December, no response, I message him again mid January, still no response, so I assume he isn’t coming. Until I get a message today and he’s asking me if he and M can stay with me for the wedding or if I can put them up in a hotel.Now I’m a little baffled because firstly I have no money at all to start paying for hotels, and if he had answered me the first two times I could’ve sorted it out then when I did have funds still, and secondly, I do not want M in my house, anywhere near my child and now I’m being called unreasonable and unhelpful. I’m being told that as the eldest sister I have a responsibility to help out and I wanted him there at my wedding and now I’m not doing anything to accommodate for him and his girlfriend. If he came alone I wouldn’t have minded so much, but I don’t want his girlfriend staying with me and in my house. AITA for this?**Edit to add** so I probably wasn’t very clear: I knew he would bring M to the wedding, I didn’t mind that so much. I just didn’t think he was going to expect me to put them up and in my own house. I have an issue with her being in my house and around my child. At a wedding, at least there are other people there | AITA for not letting my brother stay with me if he brings his girlfriend? | NTA |
10xffaq | My (36f) and husband (41m) 5th anniversary is coming up but I don’t want to celebrate it at all. 7 months I found my husband’s active dating profile, after he couldn’t lie his way around it he told me that he had been cheating off and on for most of our marriage. we did a few sessions of couples therapy but stopped because he said I should have been over it and he was tired of feeling like the bad guy. whatever I’m really only in it because I don’t want our two children to grow up with divorced parents and I can put my feelings aside for them. Now our anniversary is coming up and he wants to do something big because it’s a milestone anniversary. I can act happy most of the time but I can’t stand the idea of celebrating like nothing is wrong. He also tells me that if we don’t celebrate it then all of our friends and family will think that something is wrong. While neither one of us want extra people in our business I don’t see the point of celebrating something when he’s been unfaithful for so long. My husband thinks I’m being extra and dramatic for not wanting to do anything so AITA? | AITA for not wanting to celebrate my anniversary? | NTA |
10xfug8 | I have had a new boss for the past 1.5 years we just can’t understand each other.I am the kind of person who needs an execution plan with exact deliverables, names, and a timeline. That's how I work best. My boss, on the other hand, is allergic to specific plans. She talks in generic statements and refuses to ever put down specific plans. She says things that sound grand and really important, but no one knows what exactly they mean and how exactly are we going to get there? What makes this match even worse is that she constantly wants to ‘talk strategy’ with me, but ends up wasting hours several times a well just blabbering in generic grand statements with no specific plans at the end of the tunnel. And every time I beg her that we start putting down how we will go about executing them - why, what, who, when, how, etc. - she gets annoyed at me that I am not helping and I am not a team player (because apparently wanting to put names on tasks somehow means I am not a team player).Another interesting thing about her is that she never types anything up, she’ll call me for me to type something up, clean it up, and send it to her. Recently, we were asked to put together an annual plan for our function. For the 1000th time, she schedules a whole day with me to develop a plan. We get to that planning day and, of course, it gets wasted on me typing up generic repetitive statements that she tells me to put down. And every time I try putting down a specific execution plan, she tells me that it’s not what we need and keeps blabbering about the grand plans. If you internationally tried having the most counterproductive day in your life, it still wouldn’t be as bad as that day. We went on to have the call with the higher-ups and it sucked. She was repeatedly asked for specific plans (which I repeatedly told her we would be asked about) and she kept redirecting and outright lying about all the grand work we are doing and have in the store, you just watch this space. After that call, I lost it. She made both of us look like idiots. I kept insisting that we need an execution plan and she kept making me feel like I am an idiot for asking to do that. We get on a call after that meeting and she starts by blaming me that I did not develop a proper plan to get approval. In response, I started listing to her the meetings we had over the months preceding this call and specific emails where I am strongly recommending that we focus on the execution plan. I ended up telling her that she is constantly wasting my and company time and resources on useless grand plans and needs to change her style to be more about actionable plans and taking responsibility for executing them.We fell out and haven’t spoken since last week and I am not sure what to do about this situation and whether IATA. | AITA for telling my boss she is wasting my and company time and resources? | NTA |
10xey3x | I want insight into if me and my partner are assholes in this situation.My partners cousin had a baby with a man old enough to be her father, as soon as she was pregnant they split up. She couldn't cope when the baby was born and was going to give her up for adoption. My partner and I offered to have her baby until she was ready to have her back.We had her baby from 1 week old until she was 16 months old, during this time she spent every waking minute trying to convince us to legally adopt her because she would never want her back. We declined, because we were certain she would change her mind. She was also addicted to drugs at the time and we were sure she would eventually get clean.Well she got better, she wanted her back, she's had her now for 5 months. Her and the babies father still argue every single day for hours on end, and constantly get together then split up again. She's not exactly the best mum in the world, any progress we made with the baby has vanished and certain things I really disagree with in my head.The other day we visited and she was back with the babies father. She told us that she wants another baby and she's come off the pill. I think I just saw red. We had an argument where I expressed my concerns that she couldn't cope with the first one, still doesn't care for her right, and is likely to split up with the father again in 2 days time. She quickly picked her daughter up, took her upstairs, came back down and told us both to get out. We tried to explain that we were just worried after last time and it's really not the best idea to have another. She says we were being rude and we were just jealous because we can't have our own (which is true we are struggling, we're going for our 4th round of IVF).She's now refusing to talk to us, refusing us any visits with the baby, her 2nd birthday is in a couple of months and she's said we're uninvited, until we apologise for being assholes basically. | AITA for voicing concerns over my cousin having another baby, after she struggled with the first? | NTA |
10wx50c | My bf is mad at me because he feels like I’m not very empathetic about the issues he faced as a child.I genuinely don’t see them as horrible as he says they were.So here’s the situation My bf grew up in a very rich family(top 1% club) and mostly had a good relationship with both his parents.However he resents his father for sending him to a boarding school against his will and being very strict with him before that.He didn’t like the school at first but it turned out to be a good thing for him eventually.Also it was a really prestigious school(part of the Ten Schools Admissions Organization) and that really helped in shaping his future.I had a way worse childhood.Grew up in a working class POC family.My parents fought all the time and I worked throughout high school because we were always tight on money.With my background, I don’t see how his life was so traumatic.His dad has apologised to him multiple times and he still uses his parents’ money and connections, I don’t really see it as a big problem.He’s really upset with me and called me insensitive.AITA?Edit: I did try to be understanding about his trauma at first.But he continues to prioritise his family even when he hates them.He barely ever talks about his trauma to them and likes to pretend that it’s all okay.It has become very frustrating when all he does is talk shit about his parents to me while not doing anything about it. | AITA for not being very empathetic about my boyfriend’s situation | YTA |
10xmyzy | I (m25) am one of my nephew’s emergency contacts since I work from home. His mom is not in the picture and my brother works super long hours. So usually I pick him up and take care of him till my brother picks him up. Today he had a bad fever and my brother didn’t respond to the call. So I picked my nephew up and took care of him from 12 pm to 7 pm. This entire time I’m calling him and he’s not responding. At 8pm my nephew was sleeping and I was periodically checking his temperature and having him drink some gatorade.Between having to work a full day while having to take care of him I was spent. I decided to crack a few beers open to decompress. I asked if my girlfriend could watch him until my brother came and she agreed. So I was having a few beers and watching some sports until my brother shows up. He walks in and sees my nephew sleeping on the couch while my girlfriend was sitting next to him and sees me drinking. After explaining the whole situation he gets pissed at me since I was drinking while his son was sick. I said he was being watched by my girlfriend (who btw has babysitting experience). He said he didn’t trust her and he only trusts me. I told him he was being an irresponsible father for not responding to a single one of my calls. He said he was having a busy day at work and that he couldn’t check his phone.AITA? | AITA for having a drink while my nephew was sick? | NTA |
10wwwp2 | So a little background info to set the scene, basically - meet woman with kid from another relationship, had a brief relationship where i got her pregnant, we break up few months after kid is born, i now visit regularly to see my kid.We get on better as friends and have a reasonably healthy relationship, but throughout this time of visiting it has come up on a few occasions about how her eldest son (6) wants me to be his Dad (his bio-dad isn't in the picture). I've always said that i don't feel like a dad to him, but that i still care and will do my best to be a positive role model as much as she is willing to allow me, after all she has final say over how much 'influence' i have for her son.Personally i feel this is coming up more often from him due to him seeing what kind of relationship i have with my son (18mths) and he wants that too, which is understandable. His mum wants me to have him call me dad because she wants both her kids treated equally (read: exactly the same). She's using her past of having a mum with various partners at times treating her and her elder sister differently to inform how she wants her kids treated. She's always pushed the label of Dad on me with him, and has always made me feel like i'm the only one who is responsible for spending quality time with him. My stance has always been that no 2 kids are always treated exactly the same, there will always be variations regardless of the parental situation, and that her eldest just wants something that someone else has (he'll often do this with food, toys etc.)It does pull on the heartstrings to see a kid desperate for that affection, but i also can't help how i feel, and that is ultimately that i'm not his dad.So i put to you, fine people of Reddit.....Am I The A*shole? | AITA For not wanting my ex's kid to call me Dad. | NTA |
10xke2t | I have a group of ten friends who like to experiment with food from around the world. We take turns hosting meals in our homes and making dishes from around the world. I will give a few examples so you understand how varied we getCarlos made face tacos. The meat came from the cheeks and tongue of a cowA couple of weeks ago Arthur made haggis for Robbie Burns Day. That's sheep organs and oats stuffed in a sheep stomach. Ángela had a make your own poke bowl night. She included raw tuna, salmon, and sea urchin. Amanda made us a wild game meal that included squirrel and rabbit she hunted herself. The country that my family is from has horse as a traditional part of the diet. I found a local butcher that sold chevaline. That's horse meat. I made to versions. One traditional band one that I used mutton for the protein. I made sure that they were labeled and I told everyone what was in each dish. Afterwards on of my friends said I was an asshole for serving horse. I thought maybe he ate some by accident. Nope he just thinks that animal isn't for eating. It's weird because before he always bragged about how if it "runs, walks, swims, flies, crawls, or slithers" he will eat it. Both versions of the dish were completely gone so obviously our other friends didn't think that animal isn't for eating. It's been ba few days now and he won't drop it. He keeps texting everyone trying to get them in his side. I'm considering asking our group if we can just stop inviting him. AITA? | AITA for serving a traditional meat to my guests. | NTA |
10x2bh2 | Throwaway bc idk if she's on reddit or notMy dorm roommate has IBS. She was upfront with me about this right away because we share a restroom and didn't want me to be surprised if she spends a long time in there.A key aspect of this situation is that I have pretty distinctive garbage bags that I use. They're bright pink and my sister got them for me as a gag gift when she went to Japan. Our trash room is shared for the floor, and I actually received a compliment once on the garbage bag from someone who was also throwing away their trash at the same time.Now... we also have a floor group chat on Snap. A few days ago, someone messaged the chat like "wtf someone shit theirself and threw it away". Apparently the trash room smelled like actual human shit and there was an untied garbage bag inside with a pair of poopy panties inside.A pink trash bag.I started to get teased on snap about shitting my pants because word got out that I'm the one who has pink trash bags. Just stupid stuff like DMing me links to diapers and things like that. I told people it wasn't me, but nobody believed me because of the pink bags. Even one of my friends on another floor heard about it and was like "wow OP couldn't you have at least taken it outside to the dumpster"I exploded and told her that it was my roommate who pooped herself since she has iBS and that she'd just used one of my bags to toss her panties. Apparently word got around, and my roommate confronted me yesterday and said that I had no business telling people she had IBS and she was humiliated that I would tell people that she shit her pants. I told her that people were bullying me and that all I'd done was clear my name. She called me a bitch and hasn't spoken to me since.So... AITA for telling people that it was my roomate who shit herself? | AITA for telling people my roommate pooped her pants | NTA |
10x0sqz | I (34m) agreed a month ago to let my son (8m) spend four weeks with my mother (58f) in South Carolina this summer.My son and I visited my mother recently. My mom lives 4 hours away. It’s a different state, so not close, but not too far. Although I grew up religious (Evangelical Christian) I am no longer. I'm open about that fact with my family. My son is exploring the idea of religion, which is fine by me because I know it can bring comfort. My mother is very religious. She's had a rough life (much of her own making) and clings to religion like a lifeboat.During our visit, my mom invited my kid to church. Son said yes and I said ok. When my son came back I asked him what he learned in church that morning. My son said he learned he needed to protect himself “from the evil people in the world”. My mother clarified that the sermon was on guarding against doubt. I then asked my son "who are the evil people?". And then he said "Evil people are people who don't believe."Well my mom was quick to jump in to say "Wait, no no. That's not what they said." I don't know, but it was clear that's the message he received. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't know what to say, but I was not happy thinking my kid was being taught that I and people like me are evil for not being Christian.A few days later I decided to rescind my approval to let my son spend a month with my mom this summer. I think it would be wrong of me to tell my mother she can't go to church while looking after my kid. She would either have to skip church for that whole month or leave my kid alone at her house for two or three hours each Sunday. My mother also has a track record of asking forgiveness rather than approval and not telling me things. She pretends I didn’t say anything, she didn't understand, or that she forgot, or if those excuses don't work, say "it's not a big deal." So I think she would take my kid to church even if I said no to it.I also justified my decision to rescind based on my mom's boyfriend. She's broken up with him multiple times now because of his anger issues. But she keeps going back to him. I don't want my kid around him without me. My mom won't stand up for herself around him. I know because my dad and stepdad were the same way and my mom's choices exposed me to a childhood filled with emotional abuse. I don’t want that for my son.Anyway, now my kid is sad. My mother is telling me I made her cry, I'm taking away her grandkid, and she can't understand how I would do this to her. Basically, she’s calling me the AH. AITA?Note: Yes, my mom is welcome to stay at my house this summer. She's welcome any time. | AITA For Changing My Mind and Not Allowing My Kid to Spend a Month With My Mom? | NTA |
10xixny | Some back story. My husband was laid off April 2022. His base pay was 125k, mine is 114k. He was recently offered a job but significant pay cut. While he was laid off I sold my car for extra money and to get rid of the payment (609/mo) and lower insurance. He has an SUV and a motorcycle ($1100/mo). We don't have much for savings left and now have a good chunk of credit card debt to pay off. I have been very lucky that I have been able to borrow one of my dad's cars but is only a matter of time before he wants it back. He has no intention of selling the bike or finding a more affordable vehicle for himself and I feel that even when he starts working and we pay down debt that there would really be money for a vehicle for me. I dont ride motorcycles. Both of us wfh and we have a daughter in daycare. I also gave up our maid service, meal delivery kits, and other subscriptions. I also do most of the housework and cooking. So am I the asshole for wanting us to each have a more reasonable vehicle? He says yes bc he says he considers his car to be the family car. We do usually take his car to pick up and drop off my daughter but I don't usually take his car if it's just me going somewhere. Am I just being selfish and jealous? | AITA: I told my husband I feel like I am lowest priority | NTA |
10xeyyl | I(32F) own a house with my husband (35M) and our two small children. My husband’s youngest brother (26M) and his girlfriend (26F) live in our basement apartment and pay a minimalamount of rent. Generally, things have been fine the last three years they have lived with us—no complaints. We love them and all keep to ourselves.However, eight months ago BIL started a band and they have practice at our house a few times a month. It’s not bad, they’re talented musicians. But, we don’t want to hear whatever genre they’ve decided on when we’re just existing as a family in the evenings. Our house is old, so it’s as loud as you’d expect/similar to an apartment neighbor playing loud music. Now every time I see instruments getting carried in, I get so anxious and irritated because its another source of stimulation. Sometimes it’s not the whole band, it’s just the two them making music. We bought them cute, matching headphones for Christmas but that didn’t register the hint. They both work from home, so it also means this can happen any time, day or night. Thankfully it’s never gone too late. Secondly, “SIL” also thinks incense is great and must be really into it because it wafts up frequently from the floor below. My kids hate it, it gives me a headache and makes my throat hurt. It’s not a great scent and some of our rooms trap it more than others. It sincerely makes me feel ill.But here’s where I’m stuck. It’s their living space. Granted, it’s within mine, but I’m not comfortable asking them to change to our house preferences when they have a right to live as they choose. I’ve lived like that before and hated having my space controlled by someone else so AITA if I ask band practice to relocate, personal music playing to exclusively be headphones, and for the incense to stop? I readily accept your verdict. | AITA for asking for basement renters to adapt to our preferences? | NTA |
10x4dgb | Names changed for privacy. I (35F) am coming out of a 15 year relationship/marriage. It's been a rough year as my STBX dragged this out as long as possible. I have been living with my dad, but I have finally been granted the ability to buy my own house. This is mostly relevant because I was really looking forward to having my own space to do with as I wanted. Decorate, upgrade paint. I have plans for the extra rooms (a workshop, most importantly). My younger brother Nick (25M) wants to move in with me and bring his son/my nephew Z (5M). (Nephew would be parttime)Mom is helping him with rent, but *only* if he lives in the rental that's a few houses down from her. She goes into his house to "tidy" whenever she pleases, then scolds him about how dirty it is and complains to the rest of the family. (To be clear, his house is "lived in" but not "disaster zone" dirty).Understandably, he decided that he couldn't stay there now that he makes enough to remotely support himself. (He was going through school and low paying internship level jobs before). What he can afford isn't up to my mom and his existing standards for Z because Z would have to share a room with a 10yo (roommate to be kid). Nick put his notice at the rental by mom and planned on moving in with New Roommate. But due to mom and Ex's fussing he's now scrambling for an alternative. I suggested he move back in with dad. Dad lives in a 4 bedroom house. It needs *a lot* of cleanup because dad's house *is* disaster zone dirty. Dad wouldn't charge him rent (or he'd charge him and just save it to give back to him). If he moved in with me, I would charge him rent and I would put it towards the mortgage. But I don't want him to move in with me. He has another option that, while not perfect, is completely workable. WIBTA if I say I want my new house to myself?_Update:_ Thank you all for your help. After his latest message, I replied that I would prefer my own space but I would be happy to help clearing out some of the garbage at dad's. I also reminded him that once I move out, the room I'm in (larger with an en suite) will be available. He hasn't responded yet._Update 2:_ He's replied that its a shit alternative and not a good place for them then asked when I'd have all my stuff out by. :( (I await mom's call/text next) | WIBTA if I don't let my brother and nephew move in with me? | NTA |
10x4s89 | I (23F) have suffered from severe hyperpigmentation my entire life. I’m a WOC so after things like an acne flare up or a sunburn, I’m left with severe dark spots/pigmentation for months. About six months ago I decided I was fed up and began looking up more intensive treatments to tackle the issue. I found a treatment that was pharmacy medicine (meaning you need to go into the pharmacy and ask for it first).It worked wonders. My skin is a lot more even and smoother because the cream also exfoliates the skin too. The issue arose when my friend, 23F, asked what I used and I told her. She is also a WOC and is a lot darker than I am and suffers from the same level of hyperpigmentation. Well, she went in and got it and I heard nothing but good things on the product and the difference it made on her skin. Then after three months, radio silence. I assume that maybe she stopped speaking about it because the treatment worked and she decided she didn’t need it anymore.I was wrong.She called me the other night and confronted me on being colourist and bleaching her skin. She said that what I gave her was essentially a skin bleaching cream (the key ingredient is hydroquinone which is found in a lot of skin lightening creams). That her skin had gotten lighter and how I planned it. That it was so hard for her to come and love her dark skin and I ruined everything. And whilst I agreed that the ingredient is often used in illegal skin bleaching creams, this one is a pharmacy medicine and is a safe formula. And on top of that, it is only supposed to be dabbed on the hyperpigmentation spots, not rubbed into the entire face. She told me that I misled her by not informing her about the ingredients and the instructions but I didn’t think that it was my job to tell her to do her research and look on the leaflet of how to apply the cream. I asked a couple of mutual friends and they seem divided. They said that as I have medical training (I’m a recently graduated pharmacist), I should have told her and warned her about the cream. But in terms of what the pharmacy did when they asked me about the cream (Is this for you? Is the problem hyperpigmentation? Okay, use for no longer than this amount of time.) I said all that to her. Others are saying that she should have done her due diligence.So, AITA?EDIT: A lot of people keep asking me for the cream through private DM’s and comments. I feel like adding a picture of the cream will add context, as on the carton of the cream and on the actual cream itself has the ingredients in big writing and their percentages in the product.[The Cream](https://static.chemistwarehouse.com.au/ams/media/pi/53247/3DF_800.jpg) | AITA for ‘knowingly’ bleaching my friends skin? | NTA |
10ww4h2 | I (m 60+) am getting married soon. It's going to be a very small affair with just a handful of people in attendance. Later in the year, we plan to have a big celebration and will be inviting everyone. My closest friend (55m), 'Phil' doesn't know when enough is enough. He's under the impression that he's hilarious, quirky and that everyone loves him. He's self employed, so wears shorts and floral shirts... all year round... in the UK! He says he never feels the cold... yet his legs are blue in the Winter and he's always ill. His shorts wearing is his way of displaying what a rebel he is, yet travels everywhere at 5mph below the speed limit!Over the years we've known each other, he's met 3 of my girlfriends. They've all found him overbearing, childish and offensive, but try to make allowances for him, for my sake. Needless to say, I don't inflict him on them often. He's not perfect - none of us are. I realise he's more like a scared little boy than a grown man and I try to look deeper than a very punchable surface!However... he's always trying to push my buttons to get a reaction. If he can annoy me, he's happy... but he doesn't leave it at that. He will push and push, then get all hurt when I lose my temper. The issue - When I told him about the wedding, he said he'd obviously be wearing his shorts. He said to not wear them would be him being told what to do. I think he was joking, trying to get a reaction. The trouble is, I really can't tell. if I say nothing, it's like giving him permission. If I react, he'll keep pushing it and would most likely turn up in his usual attire, just to make a point. He may not, but his desire to be 'individual' is greater than his sense of occasion. If I don't invite him, he'll be deeply hurt and it will most likely end the friendship... and for all his faults, he has been there for me during some incredible shit in my life. His 'joke' won't go down well with my Fiancé and I really don't want to upset her on our special day.He can come to the big event and dress however he wants... but I can't risk him ruining this one.So, AITA? | AITA for not inviting my closest friend to my wedding? | NTA |
10xc67n | This happened a while ago, but my brain won't stop obsessing about it, so... My child (4) was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. One of the traits is that he is ALWAYS moving. Running, jumping, climbing, flailing, etc. The only time he's not hyperactive is when he's asleep or watching TV (and even then, sometimes). We live in an upstairs apartment. I tried to get a downstairs one, but somebody took it, so I got stuck upstairs. (This was before my son was diagnosed.)One day, I come home and find a note from the downstairs neighbors saying, "I know you have a young kid, but he's banging the roof at all hours, can you please stop."1) my kid goes to bed at 8:30, 9pm at the latest. So it's within noise ordinance rules. He is at school or daycare a good portion of the rest of the time. 2) I have attempted to tell my kid to stop jumping pretty much constantly. He listens once, then forgets and does it again 2 minutes later. Am I supposed to just tell him to stop jumping every two minutes for months? Trust me, I'd like it to stop too! 3) He's autistic, so asking him to stop moving is distressing and can cause a meltdown that's even worse than the jumping. Moving is how he regulates himself.4) I take him outside as often as possible to let him run out his energy, but it doesn't matter - he seems to have endless energy. I can have him run for an hour and he'll still spend hours jumping.Since I got this note, I spend way too much time being conscious of my son's noise, which has increased my anxiety. I even got him a damn indoor trampoline, so whenever he jumps, I tell him to jump on the trampoline instead. With mixed results - sometimes he keeps jumping on other stuff anyway, and there's nothing I can do, besides keep on yelling at him or put him in a time out, which I don't feel is appropriate, since I'm punishing him for doing normal kid stuff that he needs to do.For Christmas, I put a card on their door "thanking" them for their "patience" with my autistic son's noise. I feel that I've done everything in my power here - AITA? | AITA for having a hyperactive ASD child on the second floor? | YTA |
10xj89g | My boyfriend has a very messy financial history. He is just plain bad with money even. He has a credit card, but it's maxed out and he only puts enough for the minimum payment on it so there's never any actual credit room to use it.​My boyfriend regularly asks me to do things for him via my credit card and he immediately reimburses me. He goes to school so he will regularly ask me to order him an Uber using my credit card. When I tell him the amount he transfers the cash to me. It's the same with UberEats or an amazon order etc etc.​This doesn't seem like a big deal (and it wouldn't be if it were a once in a while thing), but it's regularly. Many times a week. And I just find it time consuming and irritating. He'll ask me to order him an uber so I have to change the pick up and drop off (we don't live together). Or he'll send me a screenshot of his food order and I'll have to enter it in UberEats (and change the delivery address). I don't want to just give him my credit card number because I've done that before and he and his daughter (they share accounts) end up using it randomly and not realizing it's mine. Last time his daughter put $150 from an Amazon order on my credit card because it was linked up to their account.​I don't want to give him my credit card number and I am tired of being the secretary for all these things. Plus honestly it gives me a bit of anxiety because he's in school, pretty broke a lot of the time, and spending way too much on Ubers and UberEats instead of just buying some groceries and taking public transit.​So would I be an asshole for telling him he can't use my card anymore?​tldr: I don't want to be the middle-man for when my boyfriend needs to use my credit card even though he gives me money for it. | AITA for refusing to allow my boyfriend to continue using my credit card (even though he immediately sends me the money)? | NTA |
10xedsb | I(18M) have a morning routine, which is basically waking up at 5:30, making my bed, working out, and working on my businesses for half an hour before heading to class. The problem is, my roommate has class much later than me so he sleeps in a lot. He gets mad at me for waking up earlier than he does since the walls are paper thin between our rooms and it wakes him up. He claims that he is losing out on precious sleep he could get while I'm already awake "selfishly" doing my routine. I asked him what I could do to solve this problem and not wake him up(I was seething since he called me selfish but my older sister taught me to be reasonable at first with roommates). He asked me to not do my morning routine. I replied with, "Yeah, right, no way I'm doing that". This routine made me a better person so I wasn't going to stop doing it. I said to my roommate since I'm not going to stop doing it at the very least I would do it a little quieter. Now I've made my alarm a little more quiet and get off my bed slowly so it doesn't creek. I also now go workout in the gym the college provided us. Then, when working on my businesses on my laptop, I turn off all the lights in the kitchen and put my laptop on a low light setting and type quietly.He says it's still waking him up and asked me why I don't just stop. I provided him the reason I put in the paragraph above and that if it still wakes him up, I don't know what to do and that I've done what I can. He called me a selfish asshole and now doesn't talk to me. He didn't pay rent for January(presumably out of spite), which was due yesterday but luckily sales were doing well and I paid his share out of pocket.So, AITA for waking him up with my morning routine? | AITA for waking up roommate with my morning routine? | NTA |
10xoph7 | I (36f) am getting married to G (40m) our wedding is coming up in 9 months (We have been dating for 24 months) and I am having 6 brides maids my friends and my sister. However when I told G and future stepdaughter (16f I have known future step daughter for 18 months but we have never really got on well even though I have done girls weekends with her and stuff like that) they asked me why she wasn’t a bridesmaid. I told her that I planned on having six and only having my oldest friends who I have known since I was 5 and my sister. She got really angry at this and G took her side saying that it would help me bond with her and so on. I told some friends what happened and they agree with G. AITA?Edit: A lot of people have been saying she should be on the wedding party and she, is with our parents. | AITA for refusing to have my future step daughter as my bridesmaid? | NTA |
10wwf37 | Hello asshole enthusiasts. My parents recently shared their last will and testament plans with us. The only asset they have of serious value is the house in London that they own with a mortgage on it (more on this later), rough estimates put value at about £600k. The will states that the house is to be split between the three of us, myself and my two sisters. My older sister and myself both live in our own properties that we were only able to purchase thanks to financial assistance from our parents re-mortgaging their house (to the tune of £70k, £35k each). This money is currently being paid back, by my sister and myself, and the agreement is that if our parents pass before the money is paid back then the remainder will come out of our share of the inheritance when the house is sold.After hearing about needing to sell the house, when our parents pass, my little sister has gotten very difficult about the whole situation. It seems like it's come as a shock to her, despite this being the plan for the past 6 years or so, we only spoke about it verbally and she was included in the discussions, it seems as though now it's in writing though it's more real for her? I mean, my parents are early seventies so hopefully they won't pass for a number of years yet but it is a possibility and I thought it would be better to discuss it as a family before they pass.When we said, obviously we would need to sell the house to pay for the inheritance tax and the mortgage etc... my little sister said she would not agree to that as she can't afford to buy a house in London and even with the money from the house sale she would not be able to get a mortgage in London on her partners salary alone (she doesn't work). I said, "Maybe you'll have to live outside London then, or get a job?" thinking that was a sensible solution, I'd love to live in London but I can't, so I moved outside London, I'm actually happier for it now, but again, another story... My little sister flipped out saying she has her life in London and her kids are in school in London and that she would not leave the house. I tried reasoning with her by saying how will we pay the inheritance tax on the house and she just said "I don't care, but you can't sell the house with tenants in it unless they agree to leave and I will not agree to leave". So then my older sister and I said, as the two thirds majority in this scenario we will evict you. At this point my little sister left the talks crying and hasn't spoken to either of us since. My parents think it was an asshole move to tell her that we would evict her but I don't see any other option here and I'd rather discuss this before the event so everyone knows the plan and has time to prepare for it. So reddit, AITA? | AITA for telling my sister we would need to evict her to pay inheritance tax? | NTA |
10xflbf | I'm nearly 19, and I've been growing my hair out for nine months now. Personally, I prefer it this way. It's curly, it's fluffy, and I look a lot better overall. I also take good care of it by brushing it and applying shampoos/conditioner and whatnot. Well, I wish my mom shared the same sentiment, because earlier she made a joke about how long my hair is. I didn't really mind it, she has made harmless jabs like that before and they're always in good spirits.Well, I wish that lasted. When I went to the kitchen, she bluntly said "You're getting a haircut". She already had her phone out, so I knew she wasn't kidding. I told her it's *my* hair and that I'm a grown adult with their own income, but she didn't want to hear it. All she told me was "I don't care" as she continued booking an appointment for me. My dad, who usually tries to side with me in situations like this, was trying to defuse any further comments I had. And before I knew it, they started guilt tripping me ("I pay good money for your haircuts!", "Some kids aren't fortunate enough to...", etc).It pissed me off, but there's really no turning back because I already know within a few days from now, my hair's gonna go from curly to a buzzcut that'll make me look like a deformed peanut M&M.AITA? Part of me feels a bit bad for getting heated at them, but it's not the only time my mom has been controlling, and I can name so many worse examples. I'd rather spare you the trouble though. | AITA for refusing to get a haircut even though my mom wants me to? | NTA |
10xectx | This is choppy sorryWhen we met gf was running her own restaurant & worked most of the day. I work in a factory. It pays way better than owning a business & after we were together for a year she moved into my house. My ex has our daughters most of the time but they spend weekends & some of their breaks with me. gf's always been nice to my girls so it was all good.Restaurant shut down during covid & never reopened. gf got really depressed. Not that she said she was depressed but mental illness runs in my family. It took my mom & my sister from me I've had my own issues with it & I recognize the symptoms. No motivation, not caring about hygiene, weight loss, she wasn't sleepingetc. She started snapping at my girls when they were being too loud.I make enough money to support us so her not having a job isn't a problem. The problem started with her not doing any upkeep. The house would get dirty, she would order food all the time & leave whatever she didn't eat on the coffee table until I moved it or it started to smell bad. She would move from the couch to the bed. She only left for groceries. The only thing she did was go see her brother on wednesday.I was getting really worried about her.So a few months ago I started trying to invite her to do things with me. Date nights, movies, play board games, walks or shopping trips. My dog Lacey is getting pretty heavy & could use the extra exercise. I know that depression can't be cured with yoga but doing nothing only makes it worseShe wasn't interested, & when I mentioned Lacey she snapped at me to get a dog walker since I could afford it.I told her that if me making most of our money bothered her she could try to go back to work. That started a fight because she thought I was calling her lazy.I told her I don't think she's lazy, I think she's depressed and she needs to do something to help herself.She denied it, said I was projecting, & slept on the couch. I waited a few days for us to calm down & approached her about talking to someone.At that point she started screaming that she wasn't crazy like my 'dead end family' & she didn't need and' pill popping doctor to drug her up for me'.I said she needed to do something. I can't keep up with everything. gf can't keep snapping at my daughters. She told me that she hoped they ended up like my mom.I told her we were done & she had to move out. She agreed we were done but refused & told me to go.So I did.When she went to her brothers house I had the locks changed.She got home & realized what I did. I told her she could come in to collect her things & she had a meltdown in the front yard. She screamed at me and drove off. Her brother called me because she went back to his house & asked what I was doing.I told him I understand that she's struggling but she crossed a line & I can't live with her anymore. They told my sister and she won't talk to me now. | AITA for changing the locks? | NTA |
10xmjot | My (F22) boyfriend (M22) is a gamer. I occasionally play a few games but not to extent that he does. As most gamers do, he rages a lot. Especially during League of Legends. I absolutely hate it. We’ve been together nearly 4 years and are currently long distance for school so we sit in Discord calls during our free time and chat, watch YouTube, shows, or movies, and occasionally play games. I have told him numerous times I hate sitting here listening to him yell and scream over League and I’d prefer he get in a call with the friends he’s playing with instead of making me sit here and endure it but he doesn’t want to since he wants to “spend time with me” even if we are sitting here doing nothing. I especially hate how he lets these games affect his mood. Before a match he will be super cheery and laughing in a good mood, then he’ll get on League and let it absolutely destroy his mood and continue to let it affecting him for the rest of the night making it impossible for us to even talk without him sounding like a child who just found out Santa isn’t real. He was playing League again today, yelling and screaming about how everyone in his game is a “f*cking idiot” and I just had enough. I muted myself and took my headphones out and just scrolled on Instagram for a while. After about 15 minutes, presumably when his match ended, he messaged me asking if I went somewhere. I got back on the call and told him no, I’m just tired of listening to you yell. He got upset and called me “f*cking rude” then hung up and went on Do Not Disturb. He isn’t responding but I see him active in a mutual server. Not really sure what to do. AITA? | AITA for muting and removing my headphones? | NTA |
10xmviq | So my boyfriend and I live with his brother and his brothers girlfriend. We alternate days to cook dinner for everyone, so my boyfriend will cook, his brother, me, then his girlfriend. Then on weekends it’s a free for all and we all will make food for ourselves or eat out or what not. We like this because we are all very close to each other and we see cooking and feeding each other as a form of love. This was all and well until recently when my brother in law became SUPER specific about his diet. He has kind of let up on the diet now, but he will only eat organic foods. My boyfriend and I will make dinner with all organic ingredients so that he is able to eat it. It works out fine because we will basically only buy the meat and veggies and use all of their pantry items, it is more expensive than normal but I am trying to accommodate him.Well, my mom lives near farmlands and she was showing me a farm near her house with goats. The owner of the farm saw us and invited us to see his livestock and garden. He then told us he sells fresh meats, eggs and diary products. I bought a whole chicken and a couple of other things and decided to make chicken noodle soup. I was very proud of the chicken too because I thought my boyfriends brother would like that it was super fresh (that’s another thing he is picky about, his food has to be fresh).I made dinner and during dinner I told him where I got the chicken. He got SUPER upset and said that just because it’s a farmers animal doesn’t mean it’s organic, and that it depends on the food and everything he feeds them. He also said buying ingredients from a random farmer is much worse than buying any nonorganic food from the grocery store and I might as well have made it with that. I’m kind of upset because he acted like I poisoned him or something. I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong because I didn’t know, but I also feel like I should have looked it up. | AITA for buying a nonorganic chicken for my brother in law? | NTA |
10xnzd3 | I (28F) used to live in the same town as my brother, let's call him Sam (26M). About two years ago, he got back together with his gf from college, let's call her Jenny (26F). Jenny was pregnant at the time, and has since had adorable baby Josie who is 18 months old now. Sam has been in Josie's life from the start, initially out of wanting to support Jenny, but then after a while, just out of love for Josie, and now thinks of her as his daughter. Josie's bio dad knows about her but wants nothing to do with her, and to my knowledge at least has not made contact with Jenny since she told him she was pregnant.Now, the problem. All this time, Sam had told our parents that he and Jenny were back together, but hadn't mentioned Josie at all. My parents really like Jenny, at least from what they know of from college, and were thrilled. Sam and Jenny recently got engaged and my parents went to visit them unannounced and got shocked to see Josie there. First they thought she was Sam's bio daughter and were naturally devastated. A few days later, they found out the whole truth. They were angry at me as well for not telling them the truth from the start, seeing as I knew everything, but they are super judgy people, and I completely understood Sam's apprehension about telling them.Now, it's been about two weeks and they're still super pissed. They say that they like Jenny as a person, but they can never accept Josie as their granddaughter. They found out that she calls me Auntie and were furious that I was letting Sam and Jenny fool her like this. While I think they should tell her at some point the whole truth, I think 18 months is just too young. So, AITA for not exposing my brother's lies and treating the baby like my "real" niece? | AITA for not intervening in my brother's relationship with my parents | NTA |
10xgq2s | I live with two other women in a on campus college apartment. We share a living room, kitchen, one large bedroom and the bathroom. I lived with (let's call her Jamie) Jamie last year in a small dorm with communal bathrooms.We recently met a new roommate this year by campus random roommate enrollment and let's call her Emma. Emma and I have become close friends because Jamie is very snotty. She ignores us and is very curt with her answers and also indirectly insulted both of us several times. Also, Emma and I both have a LOT of similar interests and we communicate very often. Emma and I will ask if either of us needs the bathroom and we communicate about how to adjust to each other's needs while living. Emma and I are so fed up by Jamie's treatment towards us we sometimes rant about her to each other and express relief when she leaves for the entire weekend (most every weekend)Jamie was very messy last year and never listened to me asking her if she could please clean up after herself as I was frazzled and upset by keeping after her endless snack crumbs on our floor (and my carpet I brought). This year, she preached she was clean to the new roommate but continues to be messy in front of me and actively cleaning in front of Emma. I put a sticker note over the toilet to ask to clean up the seat once finished. Jamie remarked this was passive aggressive even though she's never around for me to actually tell her face to face and last year she never abided by my dms and kept telling me "If I make a mess, please let me know". To which I replied "If you make a mess, I expect you to know and clean it up yourself as we're both adults."Today Jamie left an ungodly DISGUSTING sh*t in the toilet and left. She didn't leave the fan on and I almost threw up once I smelled it in the kitchen. She ran out of the apartment right away leaving me in disgust. I've never wanted to throw up from a smell before. I go into the bathroom holding my breath and turned on the fan and nuked it with febreeze. I saw she left a poo smear on the toilet seat so I grabbed the bleach wipes (ALWAYS ON THE BACK OF THE TOILET) and whipped it clean. I threw it away and in a fit of rage I typed to our group chat (ONLY JAMIE AND EMMA IN SAID GROUP CHAT). "@ Jamie fyi if you could clean up the toilet seat when you're done that'd be awesome ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧"I unsent it because my boyfriend said he'd be so embarrassed if someone sent that and I should tell her I'm sorry. TLDR: Am I the asshole for exposing my roommate in the group chat hoping maybe then she'd start to clean up after herself? | AITA for shaming my roommate in our shared Instagram group? | NTA |
10xjevr | Kind of a silly one. I (36F) bought myself my favorite ice cream today as I’ve had a rough week. Someone hacked my debit card and took roughly $900, plus I’m having a period from hell. My Bf Kevin (39 M) and I live together, he has 2 kids that live with us half the time. Kevin came home and saw my ice cream and exclaimed ooo ice cream! I told him yes I got myself some. Fast forward to him coming home from his 13 yo sons basketball game and he went to the kitchen. I walked in to greet him and he said I’m giving my son ice cream, he deserves it. I felt sad and replied oh. Kevin then got defensive and said don’t make this a bad thing he did good tonight at the game and he deserves to have ice cream. I told him I wish he would ask me before taking my ice cream. I have no problem with his son having some but I prefer to be asked. Kevin got upset and said it’s ridiculous that he needs permission. That I never ask before I have the kids stuff. ( I do ask. I rarely even have something of theirs as I am trying to lose weight and this ice cream was a treat) The whole conversation was him trying to tell me I never ask for permission and throwing it back at me. I don’t think it’s unreasonable as I view it as polite. I do all the grocery shopping and get treats specific to each person. I have even had to hide my low calorie drinks as they get taken and all that’s left is super sugary drinks or seltzer (I don’t like seltzer and have bladder issues where carbonation is an issue). AITA here? | AITA for wanting to asked permission before my BF takes my food? | NTA |
10x4af5 | Apologies for the list of dates..My former roommate moved out in August of 2022, and I gave her until the end of the year to get the rest of her stuff. She came up in October and grabbed some clothes and her bathroom toiletries along with one of her favorite mugs.She then texted me in October that her grandma had passed and she needed more time because she was grieving. I understand completely, so I gave her until the end of January 2023. She has gone LC with me and I found out from a mutual friend of ours that her grandma didn't pass at all and is doing fine and is healthy for an 88 year old woman. So I tried calling her and she didn't answer.It's now past both the end of December 2022 and January 2023. WIBTA if I started selling and donating all of her stuff and items she has left in the house? At this point in time she is using me for free storage and I cannot put a clothes dryer in my backroom next to my washing machine because of how much she has left.I plan on sending her a text telling her that unless she starts actively moving her stuff, I will start selling and donating whatever I find that's hers. It's been 6 months since she left out and I feel I've given her more than enough time to gather all of her thingsWIBTA?UPDATE: Thank you for the advice! I am going to give her until the end of March (simply because I am too nice of a person) and I am going to start gathering her things and cataloging everything I find in a notebook. That way she can't accuse me of taking anything for myself. I am going to arrange it neatly in the backroom where most of it is and send her the list of everything I found. April 1st -if she still has stuff here- then I will start selling/donating whatever else I find that she hasn't gotten. Thank you again!! | WIBTA if I sold/donated my former roommates stuff? | NTA |
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