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10xegjv | Wife and I are going on a vacation for a month. She and her older brother figured, he might as well stay in our place, while we are away.He is having a hard time financially, but this is usual. Wants to move to this city, get a job here, but that requires a place to stay.The flat is mine, I lived here before we have married each other.Imagining her brother being in my live space makes me uncomfortable, but it would certainly help him.I don't really like him. I am skeptical of the way he will live here, while we are away. And i dont want to risk him staying for more.Am i the asshole? Should I just take one for my wife's family? | AITA for not letting my wife's brother stay at our place, while we are away for a month? | NTA |
10x5jy8 | So my dad died 3 years ago. We only established a relationship 2 years before his death, and it kept getting stronger.My dad came to pick me up every weekend so we could spend time together. When he died, it was as if my ground had been lifted, we were finally having a wonderful relationship.I couldn't go to his funeral, my mother took care of everything, besides that I was still underage.I didn't go by choice, I wanted to keep the vision of my father like the last time we saw each other and not him in a coffin.I hate going to the cemetery and having to visit it, because I don't think it's worth it, since he's dead and nothing will bring him back. But my grandma and uncle are always scolding me for not putting flowers on his grave. They say that now that I'm 18, I should start giving money to buy flowers to put on her grave, since my mother doesn't want to know.Why? Why put flowers? Nothing will bring my father back, and putting flowers makes no sense to me. They say it's a shame not to put flowers or visit his grave, and that people are talking.So, am I the TA for putting flowers in my dad grave?Edit: Thank you so much everyone, I will try to talk with my grandma and uncle | AITA for not putting flowers in my dad's grave? | NTA |
10xe5ky | I told my mom I wanted to take her to a Mana concert as they are one of her favorite bands. While looking at ticket prices, I called her up and was surprised to see they were more expensive than I thought they would be. I jokingly said “wow $120 to see this band? No offense they ain’t no Harry Styles.” I said this in a joking matter. My mom said maybe we shouldn’t go then she made an excuse to end the call. When I texted her back letting her know I was kidding, she said she wasn’t so into the idea anymore. I let her know that of course I was kidding, I grew up listening to Mana and I still wanted to go. I was just genuinely shocked to see the ticket prices, but I make a decent wage so of course I’ll still buy them. AITA? | AITA for jokingly criticizing my moms favorite band? | YTA |
10x7f6u | My 10 year old dog and I go to the public dog park often. She was pretty playful when she was younger, but in the past few years as she's gotten older, she just stays by my side. At this point, her only interest is getting pets from other people, she couldn't care less about the other dogs and rarely plays with them. But she seems to enjoy being outside and loves the attention from other dog owners so we go because it doesn't hurt for me to socialize a little either (I am very much an introvert).I discovered her interest in laser pointers after visiting my brother and sister in law who use lasers to play with their cats. So I bought one and this is her exercise for the day. She has arthritis and while I go on a mile walk every day, she can't come with. We only play with it at the park, never at home, and she gets a treat when we are done playing as a reward. I also give her breaks while playing for her to take time to sniff around, say hi to people and other dogs, or play with them if she's inclined. Majority of the dogs there ignore the laser, but some dog owners definitely notice. Most don't have anything to say (not to me directly) or think it's cute, but I've been condemned twice now by random people at the park. They say that this is "unhealthy" for dogs. It can heighten their prey drive and give them OCD. I think they actually named it laser pointer syndrome or something similar. I will say my dog is extremely attentive at the park when she knows I have the laser with me and waits for me to bring it out, so I understand the OCD part. However, I have seen no other behavior different from her normal, and she is not looking for the laser at home. I wasn't aware of the issues with laser pointers before, so I won't engage with other dogs going forward, but mine seems to enjoy playing this way. WIBTA if I continued to use the laser pointer at the dog park? | AITA for using a laser pointer at the dog park? | YTA |
10xjama | Keep in mind we’re both teenagers (won’t disclose age but just 12-15) so basically when he comes over we setup his laptop in my room so we can play easier but basically we stay up until around 3:00-5:00 am. Due to him having a laptop and me having a desktop the heat from his laptop heats up the room quite a lot compared to my desktop so it’s I believe 3:30 am and we decide to just go to bed and he sleeps in our guest bedroom across the hallway while I sleep in mine. So I lay down and literally my room temp was 83 degrees and I’m still in school clothes a collared shirt and cargo pants so I just unbutton my shirt and take it off then easily fall asleep. Wake up and he walks in then starts yelling at me saying “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt, could’ve at least asked me” so I just tell him because it’s hot as hell and you’ve seen me shirtless at the beach surfing so why does it matter now? So basically we moved on after 30 minutes of arguing then we start playing again but later the next day he brings it up during school so AITA Extra info: I put on a shirt almost immediately after he started yelling, also I have a brother who also is shirtless but outside of his room which my friend don’t care aboutAnother edit: I wasn’t even in boxers I was in pants and shirtless so wasn’t even as bad as it could’ve been | AITA for being shirtless with a friend over? | NTA |
10xlz11 | I’m 23 and live with my dad at the moment because I’ve been having trouble finding a well-paying job with my degree. I don’t do much besides sit around applying or doing small freelance jobs all day then sit around watching tv with my dad all evening most nights. I don’t really mind (aside from not having a real job), but I still take whatever sparse opportunities I get to go hang out with friends. Today I went out bowling with a couple friends in the evening. I let my dad know about the plans a couple days in advance and texted him when I left because it was a little bit before he got home from work. I was gone a considerable time- around 5 hours, because we also saw a movie and were just generally hanging out. I texted my dad a few times just asking how he and my cat were doing at home and to tell him I was bringing him home some food when I got back. I didn’t text him what time I was coming back and he never asked. I got back around 10:45 pm and he was still awake (usually he gets tired around 9-10 on weeknights but sometimes stays up later) so I just asked how his night was and told him what I had gotten up to. He seemed really annoyed and passive aggressive about it. I understand he was up a little later than usual, but if he was worried or wanted to know if I remembered my keys to let myself in he could have texted at any time. There was never any pre-established time for me to come home and I’ve never had a set curfew even as a teenager. I feel like as an adult it shouldn’t be a big deal for me to be out late, but the reason I feel like I could be in the wrong is just because I do still live in his house and I could have texted him when I was leaving so he had an idea of when I’d be back. I just feel like he could have texted to ask since there was never any time discussed or general rule in place and I had no idea he was going to stay up late waiting for me. | AITA for staying out late without texting | NTA |
10xciyy | I (F28) enjoy paper crafting and make a lot of handmade stuff. My "specialization" are paper cards, which I hand to everybody around me with and without an occasion, ever since my early teens. It's a common knowledge so no one is weirded out if they receive card for i.e. pangolin day or coffee day, or if they seem to have worse time. Actually, it tends to make my friends and family feel acknowledged and happy (or at least I heard so from some of them). Few months ago I started dating "Tom" (M31). It isn't anything overly serious yet but I hope that with time it will be. For every valentines I make few valentine cards for my friends and some family members. It isn't anything romantic - I use mostly floral patterns and write things like "I'm happy that you're in my life" or "I'm lucky to have a friend like you". Usually I give them to: my younger sister, my three friends (two women and one man) and my grandma, sometimes for someone else. Obviously, this year I plan to make one - more "romantic" than the others - for Tom too. Yeah, I know that it's childish but it makes me happy when I can show other people that I enjoy having them in my life. Anyway, few days ago Tom was visiting me and noticed paper flowers on my desk. He asked me what do I plan to do with them. I honestly told him that they're for my valentine cards. He asked if he should see them and if I wouldn't prefer to surprise him. I explained that these are for other people and who will receive them.Tom got upset and a bit angry. He told me that I can't be serious and that giving a valentine card for a male friend is "giving an obvious signal" and "showing that I want to be involved with him". He seemingly had no problem with the rest of the cards, though he found it weird. I told him that I was always doing so and that he's making a big deal out of nothing but it only made him more angry and shortly after he left home. Ever since that day he's rather cold toward me. I honestly didn't thought that it will be a problem. Tom IS aware of my hobby (since we started dating I already gave him few cards - on his birthday, for Christmas and one related to his favourite sport - he enjoyed them and thought them "cute"), also he'd seen me working on some of my other projects. I know all three of my friends since my pre-teens/early teens and we never were interested in each other in romantic way. Should I stop giving my male friend cards only because I'm in a relationship now?AITA? | WIBTA for giving my male friend a valentine card? | NTA |
10x7a8i | Hi, I’m a 24m and I have my parent in laws (PIL) and nieces living with my small family. They always dropped the kids off at school and rarely ever let them walk to school. The schools are not even far from the house and we live in a safe neighborhood with no sex offenders and gang activity. My youngest niece is in 5th grade and the the elementary school is 2 blocks away from the house which is about a 7 minute walk or so. The youngest niece school starts at 8am. The 2nd older one has the furthest distance away from school and she rides the bus only from her middle school. She is in 8th grade and can take the bus in the morning to her school but my PIL say she has to get dropped off at school because we never know if someone will kidnap her. Her bus stop is at the elementary school where the youngest niece attends. Her bus arrives at the stop around 8:30am and her school starts at 9am. Finally the oldest one is a senior in high school and her school is about a 20 minute walk from the house and it is all main streets where other kids walk to school. She says it’s too cold to walk and that she won’t go to school if somebody doesn’t drops her off. The oldest one school starts at 7am. Whenever they have school the PIL usually drop them off but now as they are getting older and becoming more handicapped they look to us to drop the kids off. I get off of work at 6:30am and my current days off are Sunday/Wednesday and the time to get back to the house takes approximately 30 minutes or more. The oldest one will still be at the house complaining about no one taking her to school and my PIL are scolding my wife to tell me that I should have been home earlier to make it on time for them. On my weekday off they bang on our bedroom door to take them to school waking up our newborn daughter as a result and or sometimes come barging in our room while we sleep. I try to do the things they ask out of respect for them being my PIL but things have gotten out of hand. Whenever I refuse to take the kids to school they scold my wife again about it. She works a late morning shift until the evening. AITA for refusing to take them to school?P.S. There is other issues as well but it would take too long to type up. | AITA for refusing to drop off my nieces to school? | NTA |
10x6k6z | My family has always complained about the length of my (22F) showers… which I find ridiculous because I don’t take long every single day. what they don’t realize is that my hair is extremely thick, which is why I take longer than usual on wash days. and on the odd occasion, I see to my personal grooming which also tends to take a bit of time. they keep passing passive aggressive comments and arguing with me… and I’m starting to feel like a child. AITA for finally snapping and telling them that I’ll just pay the damn water bill?EDIT: I am brown, in most of our homes, children are not expected to contribute to any bills or rent or anything of the sort. And edit 2, a regular shower is 10 minutes, a “grooming” shower is 20 minutes. I’m usually the last person to shower for the day so that I don’t inconvenience anyone else. | AITA for being upset at my family for timing my showers? | NTA |
10xgtz4 | Throwaway account.I m19 and best friend m19 (let's call him J) have known each other for more than two years now. We got to know each other because he joined my media company and then developed a relationship.Over the years we had quite some arguments but they were always due to work and we would brush them off and go on about our friendship and apologize to each other.This year started really well and we both have really good relationships. However some things started to happen since last Friday that has got me a bit mad at him.He traveled to another city on Saturday. However, that day we had many assignments and we all had a lot of work. He, 3 days previous to that, had told me that he would be able to take his assignments without any issue before the trip. But it didn't turn out that way - he told me on Saturday, last minute, that he had to leave earlier, and I had to take care of all his assignments alone, which was a lot of work for the entire day. We had a small discussion, but I gave in, apologized for reacting under the emotions, and moved on.We agreed he would only work until 12PM during the days he was away, and then have the afternoon off until the next day. However, same thing happened on Tuesday - he told me he needed to leave earlier (10:30 AM), completely breaking even the notice period we had agreed of 30 minutes. And it wasn't anything urgent that he was leaving for, he was just meeting with other friends which I think could have been delayed by 30 minutes so that he could finish his work. We had, again, another argument. This time it was a bit more serious than the previous one, but again, we came to good terms and apologized for being under emotions.Then, today I was burned out, there was quite an amount of work and I was a bit frustrated with how the week was turning out until now. J worked until 12, and everything had been good. But then we had a big argument in the evening because I felt some of his attitudes were unfair, especially because at one point he decided to ignore my messages, something which I have never done. I know, however, that this is an immature thing to get angry about. But even in periods when I tell him that I'm busy, or working, or just playing a game, or going out, he would still message me all the time and I would happily give in and reply to him. So, I didn't find it cool that he would only message me when it was convenient for him (for example, when he's bored at home without anything to do).Overall, a bad week so far. And I feel I may be responsible for most of it, because of getting frustrated with the situations and responding to them under emotions, which I know I have an issue with and I'm trying my best to control. We apologized at the end of the day and we said to forget the week until now and try again tomorrow with a clean sheet, but I still feel bad for what has happened and I feel I may have damaged our friendship permanently. AITA? | AITA really bad week of arguments with best friend | NTA |
10xpmd6 | So I have a group of friends and we are all into anime. While I like anime, I’m a newb. I got into it from the encouragement of the friend group but mostly because I finally gave in from the pressure. We all usually hang out and do hobbies that I myself don’t normally do but I’m happy to do it because I like hanging with friends. I’m a more outdoors type person. I love to go kayaking, hiking and camping. So I thought it would be fun to invite the group on an outdoor outing, to which they all made excuses (felt like bs excuses) on why they couldn’t go or flat out that they are not interested. This hurt because I felt the same way about trying anime. I gave it chance primarily because everyone else liked it and encouraged me. But they couldn’t do the same for me? A year ago we all went to an anime convention and had a blast. I throughly enjoyed myself. We all agreed upon going to the convention the following year. Well the convention is happening in a few months and the group has started to make plans for it. I was excited but then I remembered how they all blew me off with partaking in my hobbies (asked multiple times) in the past year. So I stood my ground and backed out. When asked why I told them the truth. Now they are acting as though I’m TA. I might go by myself or with another friend. I could go and have a good time but I feel disrespected. AITA? | AITA for not going with friends to a convention? | YTA |
10xpkko | Rant/ mildly long post I (f17) and my sister (f25) are pretty close . We live in our parents house. My sister (let’s call her susie) she has very mild ADHD and she gets babied by my parents (mostly my mom). In high school she would always get extra extra help from my mom (to the point my mom would do all her english papers,extended response, essays ect.) because she “didn’t understand it”. I believe that my mom should have helped her but not completely do her assignments. Moving on to college, she is taking a lot of english courses and needs help. She would constantly ask me and my mom for help. Now I am perfectly fine with helping her BUT I will not sit here and do the whole assignment for her. So for her first and a little bit of her second year in collage, my mom would basically do all her english assignments like i’m high school. I knew my mom was tired of doing this because she 1. was actively attending the same collage 2. was going to work and paying the bills and 3. told me up front how doing Susie’s assignments was interfering with her job and schooling. So my mom stopped doing the assignments but still helped her when needed. The thing that pisses me off is that fact that my sister constantly belittles herself and acts like she can’t do anything. We never said anything to her negatively about having ADHD, we only spoke encouraging words when she felt down. She always says how she can’t do something because she’s “slow” or if she messes something up she says something along the lines of “it’s my ADHD”. It annoys me how she does want to try with anything. She is currently on her last year of collage and has some issues with english which is fine because we are there to help ofc. But not too long ago she yelled at my mom and that made me mad. My mom was at home but is doing her online job, my sister knows this and kept bugging my mom about needing help with an assignment. My mom says that she will have to wait a couple hours because she is in her zone right now with work. I don’t know why but, my sister got upset and yelled at my mom and went to her room. Everything’s fine now but it just annoyed me how she wasn’t considerate. Recently whenever Susie says comments about her ADHD. I tend to leave the room or roll my eyes. I’m just tired of her always blaming her ADHD for things instead of trying.AITA? | AITA for not putting up with my sister’s bullsh*t? | YTA |
10xinwa | this has been eating me alive, I've been thinking abt this nonstop and my birthday is next Saturday. so I've had this friend that I've been friends with since 3rd grade (we're freshman in highschool now) and we've been through alot together, but recently we've begun to drift apart, i hate admitting it since after all these years ive been calling them my best friend, and im afraid of loosing them but i think it might be for the best. recently they've been acting really mean to me, for example, i recently asked them to come over and stay the night at my house, trying to get close with them again. and recently ive been interested in a show called bluey, its a childrens show but its entertaining, so i tried to watch it with them to share a new interest of mine with them. they kept insulting me for watching it and called me autistic in a demeaning way like 50 times, and theyre boyfriend (whos super fucking mean for no reason??) that my 'best friend' was on call with for some reason?? was calling me disgusting and said they wouldn't touch me with a 10 ft pole and my 'best friend' agreed. they ended up leaving the sleepover half way through, and im kinda glad cuz i was feeling like shit the whole time. another thing to note is that every time i try to hang out with them or invite them to parties etc, is that they're on their phone the whole entire time, and my last birthday they hid in the corner and did nothing but play on their phone...ik they're introverted but it makes me feel like they just aren't interested in hanging out with me, and whenever i look forward to hanging out with them they always let me down. this birthday I'm going to scene 75, and since its pretty expensive my parents only let me invite 3 people...well, ofc i invited my boyfriend, and i invited the person who suggested i go to scene 75, i also invited a person that i only every get to see during lunch but we're still pretty close...and i already gave out party invitations... but i never gave one out to my 'bestfriend' i feel really bad since ive always invited them to every birthday I've had, but i don't even know if they'd even like scene 75 since theyre so introverted, still, i hate myself alot for not inviting them, i just feel really bad so...am i the asshole??? | AITA for not inviting my best friend to my birthday? | NTA |
10x6prv | I have been dating my partner for about a year now and they mentioned they want to move in together this year. I told them I was not ready and they didn’t take it well. My biggest reason for this is I would have to switch daycares for our child and all the ones I’ve found are full for a while. My other reason is they want us to move in with their roommate. I currently live alone with my child and I enjoy it. I told myself I wouldn’t live with a roommate again unless my financial situation left me with no other choice. I do not want other roommates. It’s not personal, it’s just a preference. Living with others makes me feel like I have no privacy. It doesn’t feel like my own space because I have to share it and accommodate. I don’t want that. The thought of dealing with roommates again gives me anxiety. It’s also pretty soon. Like I said, it’s only been a year. AITA?Edit: my child is not biologically my partner’s child. this is my child only and my partner came along after I had him and had been a single parent for 7 months. We call him “our child” because my partner is the only father figure he has ever had | AITA: I Don’t Want Roommates | NTA |
10xgg3g | For some background context I (17F) have known my friend Sam(17F) since the fourth grade and only picks up on this thing about her in the ninth grade.I liked the same guy from fourth to eight grade and he was really awkward and I was the only one that liked him so when I went to highschool with Sam I started to realize something was off when I started liking different guys. She would always compete with me for the guy, she never said it out loud but I guess I knew her well enough to pick up on the signs. She would act talk and try to impress any guy I liked, It’s not just that we had similar taste because she would do this to ALL of our friends crushes (we have a relatively large friend group as well). Don’t get me wrong, I love Sam and she is amazing this is something I’m ok dealing with and all her attempts have been very lowkey and nothing bold so I haven’t really brought this up. But I really thought I should have in this case.We have a friend, Lisa(17F) who just started dating this guy Dan(18M) and he’s EXACTLY Sam’s type. She’s always been competing for a guys attention with friends (who haven’t known her long enough to notice) and it’s the same with Lisa except I think she’s going too far. She’s making fake profiles to catfish him and try and break them up. She’s been flirting with him when Lisa isn’t around and stuff. Dan is REALLY shy and awkward so he hasn’t dared to bring this up or notice this is flirting and Lisa is the same. So I told Lisa about Sam’s past and how she’s done the same to me and all our other friends.Well Lisa told the others and although most of the group sides with me Sam has convinced some that I’m lying for attention or something. I love Sam and I’m starting to think I started something I shouldn’t have because she’s lost a lot of friends because of me. I feel really shitty, she’s been my best friend for years and I know better than anyone you don’t really control who you like.So AITA? (Names are fake obviously:) | AITA for warning a friend about another friends tendencies? | NTA |
10xpghk | Im 18 , turning 19 in July, I've been dating a guy much older than me and im happy , he's happy , everything is fine. We are well togetherI have an instagram account that is pretty much a secret one , like 60 followers , most of them looked like bots and i just post stuff there as memories and etc. for fun , i like editing , taking pics and putting them on my stories just so i can rewatch them anytime i want to.I thought nobody i knew saw these , not one friend or family or whoever .I posted a pic , me and my BF together , it was a cute moment and i love the pic.Next day my phone starts blowing up about it , my friend group starts asking me about it etc. My stomach started going crazy i didnt realise that one of our friends was following me from a fake account and sent it to the group chat.Then that info quickly got to my family and now they are on my ass too😭😭I can show yall the pic i posted if u want to see it for more of a better "view or whatever"The problem they are having is the age gap but im happy like thisI know im and i was dumb and i shouldnt have done thissooIf this was an AmITheDumbass subreddit i knew the answer would be yes but was the thing i did morally wrong and am i an asshole or are they assholes?? | AITA for hiding my instagram from friends and family cuz who i date? (not hiding any info and writing it well this time, atleast ill try | NTA |
10xpg6f | I (47f) have 2 boys. 24M (stepson from 1st marriage, raised him from 3yo (bio mom,dad gone). 2nd is 21M, biological nephew, raised him from 2yo. My 24M lives w/ grandparents. We talk twice weekly, .Husband (57M) has 2 sons, 24M, 30M.Husband moved into my home. My 21M lives with me. Husband's 24M wanted to move in, to save $. Husband asked I treat his son same as my boys. I agreed, he has to follow the same rules . He agreed. Rules are: 1) no drugs allowed in house (I have rph license, could lose if drugs found in my house) 2)have to stay at the house at least 2 nights /week 3)chores 4) no smoking in house 5) rent is $100/week .If rules aren't followed my 21M knows he would not live with me. 24M was informed. Breaking rule #1 = eviction.Both boys agreed. My job pays for health&dental insurance for myself, husband, my 2 boys and his 24M. Both boys make $500/wk. Local Rent is around $900/ 1bdr. Everyone does own laundry, cleans up kitchen if they mess it up, keep own rooms clean.His son doesn't like rule 2. He said he would stay where he liked. I agree, but if he has somewhere else to stay, he should live there.Our house isn't a hotel. My boy has same rules. It's been 6 months since 24M moved in. 24M will not follow rules, doesn't keep room clean, doesn't pick up after himself, doesn't even stay 1 night/wk most weeks. Asked husband to enforce rules but he keeps giving "second chances." I dont expect perfection, just a little cooperation. Household can't run w/out everyone doing their share. Things don't get done if they are never there. 24M disagrees with rule #1. I don't care if they smoke weed, cant keep it on our property. My 21M smokes weed with friends when he's out. 24M left his dirty laundry on washing machine. I washed his clothes for him (work clothes), as I would for my 21M. I check pockets of clothes to avoid washing ink pens, money, cigarette butts, etc. I found weed in his pockets (about 2 ounces) plus glass pipe he smokes it with. I went upstairs & went into 24M's room. I have not invaded his space before now. He had 3 bags of weed on his desk in coffee mug. Showed husband the drugs, told him that 24M had to move out. He has 2 weeks to get his stuff packed . Husband arguing that I need to give him another chance. I refused. Consequences were explained. . I offered money 24M has paid so he could use for rent elsewhere ($2400). Husband said I'm unreasonable. I pointed out that he asked me to treat him same as my boy. I evicted my 24M for drugs. Husband searched 21M room for drugs, 21M ok'd, no drugs. Husband feels he derserves 2nd chance he's bio-son, my 24M not bio kid.) I said 24M could leave on his own w/$ , if evicted , no $. 24M called me a bitch. I kicked him out, he left. Husband angry, said I was AH b/c was his bio-kid, sleeps in guest room now. AITA for kicking 24M out &expecting husband to back me up? | WIBTA for expecting husband to back me up? | NTA |
10xpfeg | My wife\[f32\] wants to go through with our daughter's\[f1\] baptism, even though she knows that I'm \[m35\] against all and everything religion and will not participate We've been together for about 10 years - married for four and till this day everything is pretty much perfect. We're on par with alot of core believes and values so till this day there wasn't really a big disagreement whatsoever.Last year we welcomed our little daughter in a troublesome birth where the mom nearly died. Her body was so weak that it took 4 weeks for her to heal and to finally been able to care for her daughter. Breastfeeding didn't work either. And furthermore the reasons for the complications remain and would occur with a second pregnancy - so on a health standpoint - that is off the book *(maybe that has something to do with her reasoning)*She has been to counseling because all of that and I tried to support her as much as I could.Besides this she knows, that not only am I an passive atheist but a strong opponent against the church. When the topic of baptism came up I strictly told her NO - my daughter can decide of her own if she wants to participate in religion if shes old enugh (around 12-13 where I live).Since then I softend my point to a - *"do what you wanna do, but I won't participate in any form to something like that. Tell me where I need to be and when and I will be there to stand around for an hour."*She just now informed that she plans to go through with it sometime around April and that there a two churches available. Her reasoning is that she *"wants to give her every blessing possible".*I know I said *"do what you wanna do"* but i kind of pissed off that you would do something you clearly know your partner doesn't want to and I have doubts that in the future we will be functining like a Team when it comes to parenting or other decisions for my daughter.Do I just swallow it and possibly blame her for it at some point? How do I communicte to her that her decision is something that deeply worries me without trieng to guildtrip her to blow off the baptism? Should I dig down deeper why this is so importent for her? I guess nearly dieing changes things in regard of religion.TL;DR My wife wants to baptism our daughter even tho I REALLY don't want to. I fear that this is just the beginning of "I'm the mom I make the rules"- parenting - WIBTA if I don't participate? | WIBTA if I don't participate in the baptism of my own daughter? | NTA |
10xijwq | I’m not very good at writing so please bare with me. My ( 22f ) mother ( 48f ) have always had a very strained relationship since my father died. She basically started doing hardcore drugs and pain pills and blames it on everyone else. My dad and her brother dying, her mom dying, her ex husband, etc, etc. She’s a good mother, when she’s sober. I’ve always tried to be nice to her because she’s my mother, and she’s learned how to condition us to pity her. My brother ( 27m ) handles it much better than me, but I feel like I’m too soft to just go no contact since she’s constantly making me feel bad for her. She’ll send me money and buy me things and I just feel awful that I don’t want anything to do with her because of it. Even though I tell her I don’t want the stuff because my apartment is too small. My birthday is coming up in the next day or two and she keeps spamming me for my address. I keep avoiding it and it’s becoming an issue where all she does is ask for it multiple times in a row. I’m terrified that if she gets my address she’ll randomly start showing up unannounced and never leave. My mom has a bad habit of not being able to be on her own, she always somehow mooches off of someone else. Even when she has a whole house to live in, she’ll just abandon it because she doesn’t wanna be by herself ( this has happened many times before in my childhood. ) I tell her I don’t want her showing up randomly and she absolutely freaks out. Telling me that I’m hiding something and that mothers should be able to do things for their daughters birthday. I feel bad and she won’t stop driving the nail in with the guilt trips. Her messages include ( all one after another ):Omg I’m not. I’m delivering shit. What’s the deal. I would let you know first. Omg I can’t believe you just said that. Like I’m not aloud to see you. What is the big dealIn other words what are you hiding. I just want to send a fucking bday Bokay. Way to rip a moms heart outIn all seriousness would you like for me to just leave you alone for good? And you not have anything to do with me? All I wanted to do was send you chocolate covered strawberries and an edible arrangement. 😭 Now I can’t stop crying and I’m at work. I’ve never done anything so bad as to warrant being treated this way. I’ve always been there for you no matter what and will always love you. What is wrong. | AITA for telling my mom I don’t wanna give her my address ? | NTA |
10xpf90 | A bit of backstory. So me (27F) and my husband (31M) have been married for about 7 months. We used to be long distance and closed the distance instantly after we got married. A fun fact is that he met this single female coworker a litte after we made things official almost 3 years ago. They have some "dirty" humor in his workplace leaving blow up sex dolls in the staff room and hiding dildos. Now this doesn't bother me much what did bother me quite a bit is before we met he got a "care package" of this particular co worker containing sex toys (for me and my husband) before we met. I met her and she seems really nice. But this just gave me some strange vibes. Also when I moved I often see her snapchat my husband and I can't help to feel slightly jealous everytime I see her name on my husbands phone homescreen. Now my husband has done nothing to make me feel suspicious but I just don't trust her. Now he asked me this morning if he could go play squash with this coworker and two other coworkers (apparently another co worker cancelled). So they would form teams of two. I don't know if he would be teaming with her or someone else. He knows she makes me uncomfortable and when I explained to him that it was okay this time but if it became something of a regular basis that it might make me uncomfortable. After that he said he wouldn't. I told him to go because I felt bad but he said that he had already told them he couldn't and it was expensive anyways. Now my question is AITA for feeling insecure? For actually not wanting him to hang out with this co worker outside work? | AITA for being insecure about my husband wanting to go on an outing with a 3 coworkers | NAH |
10xpbh6 | (sorry if formatting is off, writing this on mobile.) I made plans to meet my parents at 12 in the middle of the village, they said they had plans earlier in the day but would let me know closer to the time if they could meet me in the middle of the village where I was dropping off my daughter or whether they'd meet me at home. Having not heard from them at 11.30 I text to say, as you've not said otherwise I'll assume we're still on for the original plans and I packed my bag along with all my daughters things, ready to drop her off and then be subsequently picked up. At 11.55 I got a text to say 'sorry we've not left yet, will pick you up at home.' No further information, so I heft all my stuff back home and wait there because I have no idea how long they'll be as they've not given any further info despite my asking. I did feel put out because I wouldn't have taken all my things half way across the village plus some stuff to give back to my parents if I wasn't going to be picked up. I have anxiety issues also and I would have taken my headphones if I'd known I was going to walk home again on my own. I felt uncomfortable and put out. Here's where I might TA.. When I see them half an hour later, I tell them it would have been nice to have been told earlier that they wouldn't be meeting me as planned. They said they were too busy chatting to realise the time. I spoke to my partner about this and he says it's just me and that it happens and I don't need to be so put out or upset by it and that I didn't need to say anything. why make plans at a set time if you can't make it. I've been told that's rude so is it rude or is it normal that people run late and don't let people know?Especially if they've said.. I'll let you know if I'm running late. | AITA for asking my parents to let me know in advance if they're running late. | NTA |
10xib7n | I just had my bachelor party. My BM and 2 of the remaining 3 groomsmen planned it, and essentially came up with a plan to go on a 2-night trip in a nearby city in an AirBnB. The only things that were discussed prior was whether or not it sounded like a good idea, and whether people were available for those dates. There was nothing extravagant about the 2-night trip. No major expenses. No major activities and all meals were $30 and under.5 Days after my bachelor party ended, I was sent a group text from the BM asking everyone (myself included) to pay up for their equal portion of the trip (this included Lodging, Food, Activities).My experience growing up, I've always known the etiquette for this kind of stuff to be the following:* The BM or MOH will gather each all the bridesmaids or groomsmen, and come up with a plan for the party or "trip", unless of course the bride or groom wants to take planning everything on themselves.* BM/MOH usually come up with ideas themselves (or with the other party members).* BM/MOH then talks to the group, either via text or in person, usually telling the other members "hey this is what I'm thinking" yada yada....* They then usually ask "so is everyone cool with taking care of the Groom/Bride on this trip?" and/or "are there any concerns about price or anything of that nature? Or is anyone not cool with either completely taking care of the bride/groom or covering at least the meals and activities.* If there any kind of problem, typically that's when a BM or MOH will reach out or involve the Bride or Groom and tell them the situation, and either A) Ask them if they're ok with chipping in equally or in part for their party or B) Ask them if they want to make any changes to accommodate whatever the issue is. And if there's any expectation of the group wanting to divvy things up evenly (including the groom), that is usually brought up by someone in the party to the groom/bride so that everyone is on the same page moving forward.In addition to this, it was always my intention to chip in for part of the lodging on my own trip. What through me off was my BM suddenly asking for full payment on everything. Especially considering nothing was said to me beforehand about people wanting to divide things equally.AITA? | AITA for being upset about a bachelor party? | NTA |
10xbgaj | For context, I, female 20, am aware of the possibility of severe depression. However, this might not be the case. My boyfriend, male 21, seems to always be extremely tired after work, and the workload does not affect it much. He is a truck driver but does not drive long distance much.As of today, he worked the normal hours, a little shorter than me, I work in Healthcare, and he has been sleeping from around 5-6 pm to now, 10.30 pm. He gets mad at me if I try to wake him up, as I have done carefully for the last two hours. He told me before he went to sleep that he just needed a little nap, and I needed to wake him. He agreed on a time, but he did get mad at me for waking him, and he just turned his back to me. We have still not eaten dinner because he just wants to sleep. We are staying at the in-laws' house while they are gone for the weekend. I'm not too comfortable to just find my way around their home, so I have not eaten much since my shift ended at 3 pm. More annoying is it that he has the past couple of days left almost all responsibility of our dog to me and his parents, such at feeding, walking and playing. He just sleeps or watches TV/his phone. I get really sad and upset, but my feelings is ignored by him, cause I cannot wake him, even if the house was on fire.. I don't know what to do, I'm really close to sleep somewhere else in the house, but I recon he would be mad for that also is he eventually decides to realize I'm here too. I'm being ignored and I'm so mad, as he is snoring right beside me now. | AITA for being annoyed at my boyfriend when he sleeps alot? | NTA |
10x9am1 | Back story: I left social media because I was fed up that my family was talking to me only to complain about their problems and asking for money. They don’t care about me unless it’s when they need money. I used to help them but I don’t want anymore. I am not a bank I have feelings too.Since I left social media, my family can’t reach me anymore. Now they are sending messages to my sister who has my number to ask me for money. My sister transferred me the messages. First message is my brother asking for money because he is sick. Second message is my mother asking me to pay her glasses prescription. I did not answer till now.My family is really bad with money and think I have to help them as soon as they ask. Brother has a low-paying job, married and have 3 kids and still live with my parents. My parents still providing for him and his family. My parents never knew how to manage their money.AITA if I just ignore them? | AITA for not giving my family money when they need it? | NTA |
10xl4m1 | I'm 21 and am currently taking Engineering, in my 3rd year now. I wanted to find a part-time job so I could buy the things I needed without asking my parents for money, personally, it's hard for me to ask for money because I'm already in my 20s but I'm very thankful that my mom is helping me with my tuition fees. It has been a rough time for me, I lost my full scholarship because I had a hard time passing my course, and I fell into a horrible depression. I got back up, thankfully I was offered a 50% discount on my college tuition so I didn't feel too horrible about my mom paying for my college. My dad and mom separated when I was 14, I had a terrible past with my dad because he was physically and mentally abusive. He got my mom's closest friend pregnant and now he's living with them, they now have 2 children together. For 7 years, he was absent and I never bothered him. I truly wanted to stay out of my father's life, but I had no other choice but to ask for his help.I called him and asked if he could give me $20 so I can buy books and materials. He's a police officer and I assume he earns $4-5k per month, so I thought asking for $20 wouldn't be a big deal. It was also a good time because that month was his salary release. I didn't want to go into details but he started screaming through the phone call and accused me of asking for too much money after I begged him to give me at least $15 so I would figure out what to do next. He cut the call after that, I was too stunned and upset to speak.He called his mother, my grandma, who called me hours after his burst. She said he had a stressful day because of his 1st child from his new partner (my mom's ex-best friend), the child wants a new iPad and she's going to school as an elementary student and my dad needs to pay her tuition. She then went on that I'm already an adult so I don't need my father's help.I was too upset to speak again. I couldn't believe that $20 is such a big deal to him but not his daughter's iPad. I stopped calling him after that, and I regretted that I approached him. | AITA for asking my dad 20 dollars? | NTA |
10xean5 | so, I (21) have some severe ass allergies right now, to the point where it's debilitating. sore throat, difficulties speaking and swallowing, mucus running down my throat and a massive headache. I sound like a toad when I speak because it's that bad. (not covy, not a cold, not the flu; mucus is clear, the winds are 20 mph and the tree pollen is high which I am allergic to the most. wonderful concoction of hat fever) my brother (17) wanted me to go downstairs with him so he can make a milk shake/smoothie thing but I just don't feel well enough to listen to a blender roaring in my ears. I said, "no, I don't wanna go down" and he rolled his eyes at me and scoffed. I looked at him incredulously and he said, "I'm not giving you attitude" in a very matter of fact tone (this isnt the first time he's given me that tone) and he shrugged and held his hands up, but it sure as hell looked like it was aimed at me. I was the only person having a conversation with him in *my* room. (he was at the doorway). so I gotta ask, was I TA? should I have just gone downstairs to avoid this weird vibe?? | AITA for not going downstairs with my brother? | NTA |
10xcmtt | Today I decided to do some quick grocery shopping between appointments. I had approximately 45 minutes before I had to be at my next appointment and the grocery store was on the way, so I figured it was plenty of time to grab the 12-15 items I needed. Everything was going smoothly until I reached the checkout line. The cashier was doing fine until she started chatting with the person in front of me. They were apparently old friends who hadn’t seen each other in ages and thought this was the perfect time to play catch-up. The cashier had scanned all of the person’s items and I had unloaded my cart onto the conveyor belt. However, the cashier ignored the line and continued chatting with her friend. After a couple minutes of just standing and waiting for the cashier to start checking me out I politely interrupted and said “I’m terribly sorry, but I’m in a bit of a rush, would it be ok if you just checked me out so I can make my appointment?” The person in front of me gave me a dirty look and the cashier curtly responded with “give me one moment, sir.” I continued to wait for a couple minutes, during which time a couple people behind me also made comments about the hold up. After approximately five minutes of just waiting, I decided the whole situation was ridiculous and left, leaving all my items on the conveyor belt. When I told my wife, she said it was an asshole move to leave my items behind, but the store was kind of busy and I wasn’t going to pack everything up and walk to another register, let alone walk around putting everything back. So, AITA? | AITA for leaving all my groceries at the checkout? | NTA |
10x6nkp | I have a really close friend. Their partner is a really nice person that I'm acquainted with, but they are not someone who I would consider a friend because I have not interacted much with them. I'm fully supportive of their relationship, in fact I am very happy for my friend for keeping this relationship for a long time, since they have had bad experiences trying to get into one in the past.I try to accommodate them so they can have more time together. Say if I invite them for dinner, but they were already studying with their partner, I would suggest to them to just eat with their partner and that it would be fine for me to make other arrangements. Whenever they are physically together, I tend to stay further away from them because I'd want to give them some space on their own, although this could possibly be down to me being uncomfortable with people I'm not exceptionally close to.I thought I was not doing particularly offensive, until my friend recently confronted me about this. They view this as purposely avoiding their partner. They don't understand why I would do what I did and implied that I was acting as if their partner didn't exist. They also think I refuse to be open with them about any reservations which I have about their partner. I was quite shocked and frankly very saddened, so I apologised because I had no such intention. I explained my perspective, but they are not convinced.AITA for just trying to give them space? | AITA for giving space for my friend to spend more time with their partner? | NAH |
10xozvl | I am a trainee in a maybe a little uncommon job. Because of that, there are only few schools around here. (i live in germany, and there are maybe i think 5 or so for this type of job) This means that I have to drive 2 1/2 hours. It is common that we have a few weeks of work, and then leave for 3-6 weeks for school and so on. Because it would take too long for me to drive to school everyday and then back home, my boss rents an apartment in a vacation apartment complex full time. It is owned by a lady and her husband, who produce good quality wine. Yesterday evening a new couple moved in next door. I went to sleep at around 11 pm because I have a class test today and needed a good sleep. At around 3 am I wake up, confused and go to the toilet. When I came back I heard very specific noises, but more like screaming. We all know what they did. I tried to ignore it, but it went from loud to sounding like a pig was being slaughtered so I banged on the wall as hard as I could. I then heard laughing and they went quiet. Thoufht that was it. 30 Mins later they started SHOWERING and then blow drying their hair. At 5 am they went quiet again. This morning, I met my landlord while going to my car and told her about them being extremely noisy and showering in the middle of the night. I asked her if she could please talk to them, that they are not alone in this apartment complex and that they needed to be quieter. Im not talking about being quiet at 10 pm, but I just think its disrespectful to be this loud at 3 am. You can control the noises u make, and I mean u dont need to be screaming, do you? I told my friends at school and they said that I shouldve just forgotten about it. I dont think I did anything wrong. I had to stand up at 6am and I did not get a good rest even though I really needed it. AITA? | AITA for calling my "landlord" on my neighbours? | NTA |
10xovws | Context- this has happened around 2-3 days ago it is currently 9/02/2023So around 3 days ago I (16F) was on a train with my friends for a school excursion June \[16F\], Brianna \[16F\] and Kyanna \[16F\] we were all chatting with usual shit like who's getting with who and for context B is dating one of my friends Eli \[17M\]. Me and June had heard cheating rumors about Eli & Brianna from around 4 months ago and we decided to tell her. She ends up asking Eli on snapchat about this- he completely avoids the question. So Jaime and I went a bit crazy after that. She ends up saying "His dad will know if he's lying" she ends up messaging his step-mum because the dad wasn't online- the step-mum doesn't respond but has read the message. We assume step-mum is messaging his dad. The days ends fine.NOTE: Me and June had heard the same rumor from 2 completely different people. We perceived it likely could be true as Eli has been known to be a playboy in the past.We proceed to the next day- Tuesday.Turns out Eli was not cheating! and he & Brianna are fine. Relationship is well. Brianna ends up confronting me about this in the morning at school. She essentially says that I lied about the entire thing- I say otherwise because I did tell her that it may not be true and so did June. She ended up confronting June also. A few of Brianna's friends that I know and have known for a while take her side and refuse to talk to June (who is also their friend.) Brianna essentially says that she wants to bash us both for lying. Which I honestly think is completely unreasonable. I speak to June and she agrees, we were just trying to help her and she's gone and called us liars.So I just wanted to know, AITA?EDIT: Just changing the names so it is easier. (Fake names are used) | AITA For telling my friend a rumor that wasn't true? | YTA |
10xaqd9 | I (22) stayed with my family and my brother, Leo (24) over the holiday season. I sprained my wrist in a sports related injury two days before and had not been able to get it checked by a doctor yet. While staying at our parents’ house we have been asked to look after household chores like cooking, cleaning and doing the bins as they normally rent the rooms we are staying in. Due to my injury I have had to do most thing one handed including all our required duties. I still did all of them except for when my brother asked me to take out the trash. I did so until I realised that the bin was full and I could not push it (I do not often do sports and am very weak due to a disease I have) down and asked my brother to help. He refused saying that it was my responsibility. I then spent ten minutes out in the cold trying to crush it enough with my un-injured arm and eventually did it. After coming back inside my brother asked if I was okay after I rubbed my hands together to heat them up. At this point this was the third or fourth time something had happened like that that day and I was done. I snapped at him about how it would have taken him one minute and would have saved me the cold. He is accusing me of exaggerating my injury where I get very painful jolts whenever I use that hand. He believes that I am just tired and stiff so I should be able to just use it. My parents are made at me for “disturbing the peace” but I think that this “disturbance was solely caused by Leo. AITA or was I in the right!? | AITA For yelling at my brother over chores | NTA |
10x9liv | I recently went to visit a friend this winter. She lives in a big city and I live in a small town.Her one bedroom was pretty cramped and had half of it set up for work, and half for living. I also noticed she had trouble finding community and I told her she can't heal without community.She eventually exploded and said her house costs $3000 a month (compared to my $700) and she's exhausted.I also said she should finish decorating and again she was mad because she just bought her apartment and things are expensive.She told me she was annoyed because she's black and I'm white, and that my family is quite rich while she is trying hard to build her wealth. She said her and I have had completely different life experiences I didn't mean my comments and I don't think I was an AH.So reddit, AITA? | AITA for saying "you need more friends"? | YTA |
10xord6 | My mother (53) moved last year to start a graduate program in a new state, leaving my stepmother and myself (30) back in my hometown.I came to visit my mother a week ago for a two week visit in between two trips. She's been shady and having hushed phone calls in a voice that I know is her flirty/sexy voice. And back in December, Alexa recorded obvious sex sounds from her house. It's obvious she's stepping out with *someone* but it's none of my business. My mom told me she was going to be home around 8 from a networking event. Cool, no problem. Except 11:30pm rolls around and I haven't heard from her despite a text asking if she's OK (she lives in a high crime area and it's way past when she said she'd be home). Eventually, around 12:30, I call and she picks up. She claims she at the networking event except it was 1000% obvious from the sounds she was at her new friends up to other things.Frankly, I don't care that she's out all night. Or that she didn't check in. I'm pissed that she lied to me about what she's doing/where she's at. She's a big girl - she could have just said she was fine and didn't need to add the obviously.I feel *highly* disrespected that she lied to me. Idk what the situation is with her and my stepmother but she's also probably cheating unless they have some open arrangement. WIBTA if I pack up my things and take the first flight out of town because I feel disrespected? She's obviously not coming home tonight and tomorrow she'll be in class so I wouldn't see her again. | WIBTA if I leave my mother's with no notice? | NTA |
10x59rg | I (17f) live with my brother (12m) and mother (52f). In most cases we get along but studying with my bro is a pain.My brother has driven my mother to the brink of insanity. He was left homw today to study for a test. 13 words and a few irregular prulars. He instead played games on his computer for the whole day and did not study ANYTHING.This is not the first time this has happened. Every single time my mom takes out the internet, which is unfair because most of my schoolwork and workstuff is on there. After that, my bro yells and breaks things for a few hours. And then, after 8pm he goes to my mom, apologizes, my mother forgives him and puts the internet back. Next day, rinse and repeat.Occasionally I study with my brother. Primarily maths and english but I take on the responsibility of teaching him when my mom is done. This obviously takes away time from my day, which I could use for my school and work stuff.I thought that maybe I should remove a cable from his custom built pc. My mom tells me that I'd be the asshole if I did that. In my opinion, it's the only way I'd be able to do my schoolwork.WIBTA if I did this? | WIBTA if I removed a cable from my brother's computer? | YWBTA |
10x85rp | My 2 uncles and a friend of theirs came to our house to fix the bathroom since the walls and ceiling were molding due to steam from the shower. I went out and tried watching them cuz I was bored, and also held my uncle’s ashtray for him. My brother (20) came over and tried aggressively pushing me away and getting me to leave. I’m around 2 family members and to me this could have been a learning experience since a lot of stuff around the house was complicated. So my uncle just told me and my brother to just go inside to stop any fighting. My mom doesn’t find it weird that I wanted to watch either and thinks my brother overreacted. So AITA? | AITA for watching my uncles fix the bathroom? | NTA |
10xa7b3 | She was in school, while I was at work, and called me a few times but kept it to basic conversation due to me being busy and not having a free moment to talk. Before I had left the office, I told her I'd call her and talk to her about my day when I was alone, to which she replied, "I'll probably be at work by that time so just text me". Which is fine, her life is just as busy as mine and I admire her hard work. Fast forward to about 9 o'clock yesterday, and she calls me while she's leaving work, thinking we would talk about our day, instead, she immediately jumps to ask me, "what's up with you, i feel like you're pushing me away" to which I reply that's not true, i've just been super busy all day and I'd have preferred to talk to you when it was just me alone. She replies, "How are you going to tell me what I feel is wrong" and I then say, "I'm telling you I just had a busy day and was not pushing you away, I don't know what to say to you" to which she had an attitude about because what I said according to her was out of pocket, so I simply stated, "I'm really not looking to fight or argue with you right now", which led to her hanging up on me mid sentence.Fine, I put my phone down and walked away from it, she proceeds to call me 18 times while I'm away from my phone, I pick up on the 19th call, and she asks, "What the f\*\*k are you doing??", to which I reply, "Nothing, I just put my phone down and walked away to go hang out upstairs" to which she proceeds to explode over me ignoring her and putting my phone down. My reaction out of emotions and her yelling in my ear was matched and I exploded saying "I don't need to f\*\*\*\*ing talk to you at the end of my day when I have a shitty day, I don't need to vent to you, I don't need to talk to you for my night to be satisfied and for me to rest peacefully at night, I don't need to talk about my problems and my issues with you to make myself feel better, and the last thing that I want to do is fight with you right now" which lead to her breaking down a bit, splitting up with me, twisting my words into saying "You said the last thing you want to do is talk to me" and hanging up, when all I wanted her to do was to put her head to rest for 5 minutes of her overthinking ask me how my day was, and talk to me about my day and vice versa, instead, her excuse is, That I only want to talk when it's convenient for me, which really lead me to say what I said above when it has nothing to do with convenience in my eyes. Moving on to today, I wake up to some messages being called explicit names, being told I'm a f\*\*\*\*ing brat, I'm unappreciative of everything in my life, I suck the energy out of everything I'm around, I carry negativity with me everywhere I go. Then she played the "who does more" game, such as "I was here for you at this, that, and this" and "Who forgave you for that, this and that?"AITA for exploding? | AITA for telling my friend I don't need to vent about my problems at the end of the day to her? | NTA |
10xoghd | When I moved into my new place, my roommate, (who is also the homeowner) said there was no need to bring my own kitchen utensils/pots/pans/dishes etc. I had my own assortment of miss match items that I then decided to get rid of as I don’t have the space to store them anywhere and I will be at this new location for a long time. Again I was told I could use his supplies so I went ahead and gave my old things to Goodwill. Well fast forward to three weeks into living there and out of nowhere he texts me that I can no longer use his kitchen supplies. Not pots/pans/dishware/cutlery or anything. That’s fine but now I have to get new sets of all my own things (since I donated the old based on what he told me). And here’s the kicker- he also says that I cannot use any of the cupboards or drawers in the kitchen to store my things. Since his things take up so much space. He is “allowing” me to use a small space in a tiny closet down the hall from the kitchen where I now must keep everything —including all of my dry food AND my kitchen utensils. everything must fit in this tiny closet- meanwhile he has an entire walk in pantry to himself as well as the entire full kitchen that I am not allowed to store anything in. He was upset that I didn’t thoroughly wash and scrub the dishes clean before I put them in the dishwasher but I simply didn’t realize the dishwasher was weaker pressure and that the dishes weren’t getting fully cleaned. It’s only three weeks in and I am a very clean and quiet respectful roommate. I actually scrubbed the dirty (repulsive) microwave that obviously hadn’t been cleaned in years and the next morning he blew it up with butter everywhere. Anyways In regard to the dishes that weren’t fully cleaned…I apologized profusely and asked if I could please at the very least have a small drawer in the kitchen so that it wasn’t such a hassle to have to go to the tiny closet for everything when I want to cook. Also important to note this is a tiny bedroom way outside of the downtown area and it’s 1,100$ plus utilities. And now I can’t even use the kitchen space which I was told was a shared space??? He said I won’t get my security deposit back if I want to break the lease so now I am stuck. Someone please help, is there any legal action at all that I can take? Mostly I am just confused. He seemed like a nice guy and I had hoped to become friends but now I am #bannedfromthekitchen. | AITA for wanting to break the lease with my shitty roommate? #bannedfromsharedkitchen | NTA |
10xk0r1 | I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I was with my ex for 15 years. My ex was always a big part of my dad's life. My boyfriend has never made any effort to be part of my dad's life at all (for various reasons, none of which had anything to do with me or my dad). My dad was sick and living alone (with my sisters and I and a care person helping to look after him) and I was very stressed for the past 2 years. During that time my boyfriend never once came over to help me. He had a bad experience with an ex-girlfriend's dad years ago and he always uses that as an excuse for why he never met my dad. ​Now my dad passed away. While my dad was sick, my ex (who I still am on good terms with) helped with him on several occasions. He also came to visit him a lot all on his own. Once when I was feeling really burned out he stayed with my dad for a week and would sit with him, playing chess and cards and watching old movies. He really cared about my dad.​The estate wasn't worth a whole lot (and I'm splitting it with my 2 sisters). Both my boyfriend and my ex could really use some money. I didn't have a lot to give, but I chose to give $10,000 to my ex (and nothing to my boyfriend because frankly there isn't a whole lot there anyway and I'm keeping it for myself).​Now my boyfriend is very very hurt and upset with me and thinking that I still have romantic feelings for my ex. Which I do not. But my ex deserves some money because he was involved in my dad's life and he went out of his way to help me and alleviate my stress when it came to looking after my dad. My boyfriend never did (not even once). ​He says just based on the fact that we are partners and have plans to get married in the future I should have at least kept the money if I didn't want to give it to him (my boyfriend), but that I should never have given it to my ex. Now I'm feeling confused. Am I the asshole here?​tldr: I gave a bit of my inheritance to my ex and nothing to my bf...aita? | AITA for giving my ex $$$ from my dad's estate and not my boyfriend? | NTA |
10xer6e | Recently, a friend of a few years decided to block me everywhere online, because of the past few days. The most recent happening before being blocked, she killed me for no reason while we were playing Project Zomboid, and I didn't stand for it. After killing me, for a while I just asked "so are we just gonna start over and act like nothing happend?" She responded wth "yes" to which I responded as calmly as I could with "I'm going to be honest, I can't. I'm not mentally here for this right now. I closed the game, kicking her from the server, and after we both sat in silence for a little bit, then she left voice call, so I did too. Recently, she's been enjoying parties with friends, getting drunk, smoking weed, the likes, and she also recently broke up with a long distance relationship which she had been in for a few years, so i figure shes pretty upset because of that. Along with that, shes been working in McDonalds for a while, and theres been lots of workplace drama there. One time, she talked about a coworker to me, and shared her texts with that coworker, and i found it too appalling to not get upset at her for it. She had called that coworker a whore and threatend to get the coworker fired for transphobia. I told her thats really over the top, but she did get that coworker fired. I might have been too harsh for her, but honestly calling a coworker a whore, threatening her coworker to get fired, and just being really mean while we were playing games tired me. I want to hang out with my friends, not talk about drama have debates and be blocked when i disagree. I'd have more quotes but she blocked me so I can't look at our DMs since I close dms frequently and didn't realize she blocked me until I went to try and find her. It kinda hurts too since I was the reason she was able to get on hrt, and I've been there for her when she needed somewhere to be. I've given her drives to work when she didn't have a car. I let her wait to afford my gas for a while, and now she blocks me because I tell her she is being too mean? Am I the asshole? Am I being irrational and thinking too far into this? | AITA for being upset at my friend? | NTA |
10xoayb | I know this post seems stupid and pointless but I really need to know if ITA. My dad got a laugh out of it and he also understood what I meant as well. Also the issue was resolved but my mom is still bringing it up.This happened a few days ago. My mom asked me to make a grocery list last minute before she left for work while she finished blow drying her hair. I only had about 4 minutes to make a list of 15 things to make maybe 2-3 meals. My parents usually have me in charge of coming up with meals because they normal don’t plan ahead on what they want to eat but I do. So pretty much I was put in charge of meal planning. I was in a rush to get myself ready for work so I scribbled down a few things. I’ve been wanting to have a healthier diet for my family and I so i wanted to make homemade cauliflower rice so we could get the right amount of vegetables in our diet. However I forgot the name for cauliflower so I quickly wrote down Albino broccoli. I handed the list to my mom and left for work with my dad. I get a call from my mom later while I was on break asking what the fuck albino broccoli was. I think it’s sort of obvious on what I meant so I told her. She yelled at me about making her look for something that didn’t exist and thought I was just pulling some prank on her. I told her I really did forget the name for it and that I was also in a rush for work so it’s not like I had the time to look up the name for cauliflower and the only thing I could think of at the time was albino broccoli. This happened Monday and she’s still bringing it up about how I tried to “prank her and wasted her time.” She was so annoyed with it she had to call her friend to complained about it. I think she’s being a bit over dramatic because my dad knew what I meant right away but I’m not sure if ITA or not. | AITA for forgetting the name of Cauliflower? | NTA |
10xcsol | I'm going to keep this as brief as I can. I was at a friend, Helen's, birthday outing recently. We were all drinking, bar hopping, having a good time. At the last bar we're all pretty drunk and another friend Mary asked if she could talk to me for a sec so I said sure. She wanted to talk about her birthday party from like a month ago and what she said was (and I have to do a bit of paraphrasing here, sorry) "It was really messed up that you ditched me on my birthday. There was this guy who was being creepy around me and he was bothering me and I really wanted you there but you just left and when a girl asks you to stay you should stay." I was caught completely off guard, so I just said "Ok." and she was like "Don't do that, don't just shut down" So I kinda blew up on her and said "I wanted to go home, it was 1:30 in the morning. I tried to find you and couldn't and so I had to hope someone would let me crash at their place instead of yours. I never saw this guy, you never told me about this guy and its kinda fucked up that you're attributing his behavior to me out of nowhere."For context, my recollection of the night in question, which I immediately went to Helen to confirm, was we were out for Mary's birthday from about 6pm, it was in the city. Me and Helen live in the same area, an hour long train ride away from the city and the last train was leaving at like 2am so at 1:30 we decided to go home. I told Helen I was gonna go find Mary and say goodbye. Mary was hanging with a couple friends, I told her I was leaving and she said "Please, no I really want you to stay. Please stay, you can sleep at my place, just please don't leave." So I was like "Alright, if you want me to stay that bad, I'll stay." Went back to the street to tell Helen I was gonna stay, said goodbye, and then walked around that club for 30mins trying to find Mary again. I texted her multiple times and all she'd say back is "I'm on the first floor" or "I'm the one with the bottle" but, I covered every inch of the place and couldn't find them at all. I told her I was gonna find a place to crash because Idk if I'm gonna find her and I can't get home anymore without a ridiculously expensive Uber. I had to call up another friend I know and ask if I could crash at hers for the night.​Am I the asshole here? Both for leaving the club and for blowing up on her when she confronted me about it. | AITA for choosing to leave the birthday party? | NTA |
10xjudd | i used to be good friends with shiloh, kat, & gabriel. gabriel & shiloh are siblings. as friends do, i talked about my past relationship, shiloh didn’t like what my ex did, so she asked if she can befriend my ex to stab in the back. after months of declining i caved in and said to just keep me updated. (befriending my ex was completely shilohs idea). kat & shiloh started getting really close, so i backed off a bit to not interfere with their friendship. kat unfortunately had a miscarriage, since i detached myself from both of them, i didn’t have much sympathy to offer towards her. fast forward a few weeks kat & shiloh are texting me saying how i’m such a pos & a bad friend. i insensitively said something about kat’s miscarriage but imo she definitely deserved it after attacking me. fast forward another few weeks, gabriel & i are hanging out at my house & shiloh decided to show up. shiloh walked into my room, apologized for the messages & saying she was intoxicated, unaware, & that kat had done everything. i brought her back in with open arms & treated her like family. after this happened shiloh texted gabriel & said she lied about everything, she did do it, & that she only apologized so she can hang out with gabriel. i left her. during the time i left shiloh texted my ex & told her it was my idea t for shiloh to befriend her & get revenge & that i was a pos. the whole summer goes by, in school i see her in the halls & asked if she still hated me. she said no, & that were cool. a few weeks later (again, i know) we started hanging out again because i felt lonely & needed some company. so i had my arms open for her yet again. we were good, one day i asked if she wanted to hang out with zeek & i, shiloh stated that she didn’t like zeek & thought he was a b!tvh, i convinced shiloh to hang out with us because zeek had a v@pe. they hit it off. their friendship has been growing stronger ever since i introduced them. i finally realized they liked each other more than me. i always felt left out when they were around, i started to hate zeek & shiloh, i stopped talking to the both of them. now shiloh is talking sh!t about me, constantly. so, aita because i stopped talking to them? | AITA because i stopped talking to some friends? (long read) | ESH |
10xo6qg | I (35m) and my wife (34f) have been married for 2 years. We never lived with each other prior to marriage. What I noticed is that there are times when she would come home from work late and is too lazy to shower so she would brush her teeth and go to bed. At first, I'm usually cool about it because I understand she is tired and just wants to go to bed. However lately, I noticed that if we would go out to eat at a restaurant, she would come home, change and go to bed. The problem is that I have developed a weird sense of smell where if it smells like food or anything else out of the ordinary, I would not be able to sleep. I have a hard time sleeping in the first place so anything out of the ordinary would disturb my sleep.We came home from dinner tonight and she decided to go to bed without showering. We had some food that our clothes were pretty smelly afterwards. I came home showered right away. I got into bed and I couldn't stand the smell so I told her that I can't sleep in bed unless she showered. She was super offended so now I'm sleeping on the couch. Not sure what to do here because I feel like I can't be in the same bed due to the smell. AITA for telling her that I can't be in the same bed unless she showers?Edit 1: Throwaway account since she's on Reddit. | AITA for not wanting to sleep with my wife unless she showers? | YTA |
10xgsvt | So I (22M) just had a complete explosion and lost my temper… I never usually do. My Mum, I love her to pieces and I know she loves me too but she talks to me in an extremely condescending and patronising tone. I do everything I can around the house, I contribute towards the bills, I’m emotionally and physically supportive. I care for everyone and everything I can when necessary. She goes to see her boyfriend of 4 years for days on end & I look over my little brother (16) who is mildly on the spectrum and make sure he’s good as well as the house making sure everything’s good. Even though I try and make sure things are good here but it’s never good enough. As soon as she steps through that door she starts but not at my little brother AT ME. It’s almost as if she hates being home an almost immediate change of emotion, shouting. “You guys never listen” you guys this and that. And whilst I acknowledge some stuff we do can be annoying, she just overdoes it. A situation just occurred and I was trying to explain but yet again she would talk over me and be extremely condescending and when she finally stopped talking she would proceed to dismiss what I’m saying and I would say “you’re not even letting me explain, you keep talking over me”. She then gets even more dismissive, I tried to get her to talk to me and then she started to gaslight and say I’m being disrespectful but all I was trying to do was get my point across. After we exchanged heated words she got up and slammed the door in my face and I just lost it, I ended up slamming door as the shouting drew closer to my room and when she started shouting even more i shouted back telling her to stop talking to me, Shutup (which I never say), I don’t care about anything she’s saying etc. I don’t want to try relationship with her anymore if I can just have peace within us not speaking. It seems as if she’s so happy with everyone else but when it’s me I’m the issue. I don’t want to apologise nor do I want to converse with her in any way shape or form am I the asshole to feel that way? To not want to say sorry? To not feel any remorse? Sorry if this is very long and the writing is bad. Still in the heat of the moment. P.s. I do try even harder for a relationship as my little brother is extremely quiet and to himself causing her to feel lonely. Especially when I was at uni (I graduated in NOV) | AITA for exploding on my Mum. | NTA |
10xeees | I (21F) usually send my sister, Liz, (19F) boxes to her dorm. She lives on her university campus and because of that she isn’t usually able to visit except for the big breaks or holidays. I decided to put together a Valentine’s Day box for her, her dormmate, and the other 2 friends whom I’ve met. They all went to high school together as well.Anyway, 2 weeks ago I called and polled her and her friends. Usually they all share the goodies in the boxes between themselves. Liz asked for chocolate truffles, something with chocolate and mint in it and cupcakes (any flavor). Now here comes the small issue, my sisters friend Rain (19F) can’t eat chocolate or gluten because she’s allergic. So I asked the group, what flavor cupcakes would they like. Ended up with strawberry and lemon cupcakes because it was a flavor profile that fit everyone. I made chocolate and mint cookies with regular flour because I knew Rain wouldn’t be able to partake in it because of the chocolate. So, I got gluten free flour and made these cupcakes specifically for her to be able to enjoy something in this box. (I hated the idea of leaving her out since everyone shares the goodies). It was difficult finding it in my area because I don’t have access to large department stores that usually carry gluten free options. The box was large enough to fit 2 Pringle cans of cookies, 3 large mason jars of cupcakes (with all the wrapping to protect them) and the tubberware of truffles. I sent the box and this morning it arrived. Liz received and opened the box, everything was still intact and edible. Turns out because Rain wasn’t there, Liz ate a jar along with her dormmate and the other friend. So when Reina showed up from her class, I got a text saying she didn’t get any of the cupcakes. I asked my sister and she explained that Rain wasn’t there so she just gave it away. She has a small fridge that she could’ve put the jar in until Rain arrived. I called her an asshole and inconsiderate because she knew that I made that FOR Rain to partake in. It was pre established that the cupcakes were Rain friendly. My sister is saying I’m the ahole for dictating what she does with what and that rain “snoozed and losed”. | AITA for calling my sister a bad friend | NTA |
10x8gza | So I (19m) was having a chat with my friend (18F) and in the conversation she says that she is thinking of "letting the intrusive thoughts win and get a tattoo" and said something along the lines of it being so funny to "let the intrusive thoughts win" I stepped in to tell her that she shouldn't be using that word to describe them and that she should use the word "impulsive thoughts" instead because describing intrusive thoughts as something funny or silly was very bad to do. I struggle with intrusive thoughts daily and they are not something that are funny or quirky like how she was describing. When I tried to tell her the difference, she starting fighting with me. When I brought up how I have intrusive thoughts and started describing them to her she started fighting with me again and said that I was "going crazy" and that I had "No idea what I was talking about" despite me giving examples of my own experiences. When I was giving her examples of what I meant and stated that I wasn't mad, and that I was just trying to educate her let her know the difference for future times. She never responded and is now actively ignoring me. So now I have cut contact for the moment and am not communicating with her. But I feel like I fucked up massively. AITA? | AITA for not communicating with my friend after saying they were using the phrase "Intrusive thoughts wrong?" | NTA |
10xjhzi | I (17F) recently blocked a guy (28M) whom I talked to almost every day for almost a year without giving him a clear answer or explanation. However, since then I have been feeling guilty over this decision.This guy and I met in an irl friend's server and we started out with small talk and learning small things about each other. Over the months it escalated to trauma sharing as well as talking about visiting each other. I do want to reiterate that our convos never became sexual and there wasn't any romantic/sexual interest shown. I was wary of the age gap but still talked to him though because at that moment, I told myself he didn't show any red flags and that this was all simply platonic + he was extremely kind to me and everyone I've seen him interact with.I was always contemplating our friendship but didn't really do anything about it due to the reasons mentioned above; however, one day my friends and I were discussing relationships and one of them mentioned how gross it is for a senior to date a freshman. At that moment I realized how I viewed freshmen, they're kids in my eyes despite only a 3 year gap between us. That made me question what the guy thought of me and how he could've treated me as an equal/close friend despite me being a decade younger than him. On the same night I decided to DM him asking him if we could talk about something serious. He agreed and I voiced out my concerns and how I was no longer comfortable about how close we have become. He actually respected it, and stated that although he wants to be friends, he understands my worries and would not reach out unless I did it first. So I left it at that.2 days later I received a text from him stating that he knows he says he wouldn't reach out, but that he recollected his thoughts and wanted to share them. It was a pretty long text but to sum it up, he told me that my concerns are valid and that I should be the one to decide what to do with this friendship. He then offered an alternative of becoming a mentor for me rather than a friend and told me how I have "healed" him in many ways and that I don't owe him anything. He ended it with "I just want what's best for you." I was emotionally exhausted (due to other events) and didn't know what to say so I blocked him as well as on all the other platforms I knew him on. I don't regret my decision of ending this friendship, but I am wondering if I should have at least reached out and given him a final answer? He gave me the space to do so and it just feels shitty leaving without a word. I discussed this with some of my friends and it's mostly 50/50. Some think I don't owe him any explanations while others think because he treated me very nicely and was good with communication, I should have done the same. AITA??? | AITA for blocking a friend with no explanation? | NTA |
10xc8t3 | Hi idk anything about Reddit but like apparently people come here to ask questions like "am I in the wrong for ___" so I wanted to aswell I guess - anyways I have 2 cats and one one of them likes to rub up against people to get what he wants and my grandma gives him treats to get him to leave her alone but the vet says it's not healthy for him to have so much so today he does the above won't leave her alone and she asks me to pass her the treats I'm like "no I'll do it it's ok" and when i usually do it I just give him 1 or 2 even though she asks me to give him about 6 and apparently she noticed because she was like "don't just give him 1 or 2 give him how many I told you to because you're being rude and not listening to what I tell you to" but I don't think i am?? I'm just here for second opinions so Aita?? (idk if I'm posting this in the right spot or if it's serious enough to be taken to reddit so I'm sorry 😞) | AITA for not listening about cat treats? | NTA |
10xe5b3 | I’m traveling from NYC to visit my friend in Ithaca. This friend just texted me and told me that another one of his friends, who is gonna be in Ithaca on those same dates visiting one of their mutual friends, wants to get lunch with him and he said yes. This makes me upset because Im only gonna be in Ithaca for a day and a half, and we had made our plans way in advance. And I don’t know anyone else in Ithaca either, so it’s not like I can just go do other stuff. Yes ofc I can go do stuff on my own, but the combination of the fact that we had made our plans first plus the fact that I’m only there for a short time makes me mad at my friend for making other plans while i’m there. Am i the asshole? | AITA for getting mad at my friend for making other plans while I’m visiting them? | YTA |
10x79ao | I didn't bring a gift or card to my brother's second wedding because I was hurt and pissed he unexpectedly uninvited me and my family several months prior.My (40) brother (42) lives on the east coast and met a woman after his divorce in the fall of 2020. They moved in and got engaged within a year and set the wedding date for November 2022. My family was invited, and we were excited and planned to drive from Chicago to attend what I thought was the wedding of my brother that I had a very good relationship with. We had told him several times we planned on coming. Out of the blue in July of 2022 I was sent a txt from my brother uninviting us using reasons that included he did not think we wanted to come, we would cause a distraction because some family hadn’t seen us in a couple years, and our politics did not line up with his new wife’s. After the initial heartbreak, we had a long family discussion and realize our new SIL is a very broken person and has manipulated my brother into hating us, and is doing what she can to alienate us. With my parent’s help, we were invited again, as it would have been awful to miss such an important day. My brother and SIL still have not apologized and feel very validated for uninviting us without ever discussing their issues with us. We drove out, found out we were still excluded from the rehearsal dinner, but we weren’t really excited to be there anyway. We were nervous we would be turned away at the door at the actual wedding so we decided to wait a few months before sending a gift. Wedding happened, no issues except SIL actively avoided talking to us (we had never met in person until that day) and my brother did not introduce us at all. About a month later my parents get a txt from SIL accusing them of being bad parents because we did not give them a gift or card for their wedding. I spoke with my brother on the phone and he agreed we are awful and rude people for not bringing a gift, or letting them know at the wedding the gift would come later. AITA for not bringing a card or gift, or telling them at the wedding a gift is on the way? | AITA for not bringing a wedding gift or card to my brother's second wedding? | NTA |
10x5n1w | I(23f) have recently had a massive family event happen. Unfortunately my (73f) grandma passed away in the week, and it's been really hard on everyone. This woman helped raise me when my dad needed help, as her daughter, my mom, passed away when I was very young. Because of this, the family wanted to gather several states away as a viewing, we agreed, would be very disrespectful to my grams and who she was. She wouldn't want us to see her like that, and she even kept quite a lot of what was going on with her health private. I will add to help clarify, i have been unintentionally low-no contact with most of my moms side of the family for almost a decade. They all moved away from where i was, and as they never seemed to need to contact me, i never made effort to contact them in turn, as I'm notoriously a "live in the moment" kind of person. Im surprised they even told me what happened. But, here's what happened that makes me feel like an a-hole:I was supposed to be ready to leave at 5am to see my family this morning with my grandma's brother. I stayed up all night as i have a very hard time sleeping and controlling my sleep. I have not told my family about this, as the only person i really talk to about my mental health is my father and id rather keep it that way. I'm also very uptight about keeping dates and times that I promise. However, around 4:30, I unintentionally passed out, and despite having set multiple alarms, and said great uncle calling me twice, I didn't wake up until 8am. I called and apologized profusely, telling him I felt extremely irresponsible and like a terrible person. He told me, "Good, you should. I'm at (designated meet up point for the long trip south). Bye." And hung up. He is absolutely livid with me and I feel this is justified.I do not blame him for leaving, and quite frankly I feel absolutely devastated that I missed my alarms. This trip meant a lot to me, and I undoubtedly feel like I am the a-hole. However, my friends and my father completely disagree and think that my uncle is the a-hole. Not for leaving without me, but for what he said to me before hanging up and how he treated the situation. My dad says that yes, he is grieving, but that lashing out at me was unacceptable and it says a lot about how the family sees us(me and him) after my mum passed. He is livid that my uncle said that to me after I called to apologize.My friends said that crap happens and that I shouldn't be beating myself up for this. One of them said that everything happens for a reason and it's probably better I didn't go. I pulled out of my savings for this trip and would've had to miss out on all but four of my scheduled hours for the week. It would've put me, and my household, in a lot of stress for quite a while financially. My aunt was fine with it, as she will be here in April to visit anyways.I honestly still think I'm an a-hole and they're just trying to be supportive friends, which i do really appreciate.So, reddit, am I the a-hole? | AITA for not waking up to my alarm for an important family matter? | YTA |
10x8357 | I (f24) come from a Spanish-speaking country, however, for the past 2.5 years I've been living somewhere where neither English nor Spanish are the official language. I can speak the country's language relatively well (B2-C1), but definitely not at a native level. Yesterday I had to go to the doctor and, of course, at the beginning of the appointment I was speaking the country's language. However, I had a hard time finding the right words for some of my symptoms, so I politely asked the doctor in the country's language "Do you perhaps speak English?". His answer was "Where do you think you are? We are in X country, we speak X language". I didn't say anything and proceeded to continue trying to explain my symptoms the best I could in the country's language. After the appointment, I was upset about the situation since I didn't think it was absurd to ask the doctor if he spoke English given that 56% of the country's population speaks English and 25% of the city's population are immigrants. However, I've been thinking that, even if his response wasn't friendly, perhaps it was entitled and rude of me to ask him to accommodate my language preferences. Just to clarify: I wasn't upset that he couldn't speak English, I would totally be TA if I was, I was upset at the way he answered since I've had other doctors simply say "no, but we'll find a way to understand each other", which I feel is not too much to ask but maybe I'm wrong. | AITA For asking my doctor if he spoke English | NTA |
10xbpvk | I've known my friend Jasper for about 3 or 4 years now. Yesterday I was having fun making memes about me and my friend group and decided to include a couple of my other friends (A and M) who happen to be in Jasper's friend group, since they hang out with us a lot, although Jasper themself does not. I decided to post these memes on my status, which Jasper saw, and they got angry with me, since I only met M in September, and I didn't include Jasper in any of them. They started saying I hated them and thought they weren't good enough for me, before bringing up drama from last year (long story short, I accidentally copied their OC but they went along with it so I thought they were fine with it, now every few months they bring it up saying how they had to trash their OC because of me and I'm apparently a horrible person for something I didn't even know upset them at the time) and then dumping a bunch of trauma on me. They kept saying I gaslit them despite the fact that they've been gaslighting and guilt tripping me since 2020. I told my friends who sided with me, and Jasper started venting to A and M. However, when they didn't immediately respond, Jasper told them to fuck off and die. Now A and M have both joined our friend group because they're angry with Jasper. They're guilt tripping A, and they said to my friend G "You really don't see what Felix has done?" while she was defending me.Jasper is basically friendless now, since as far as I know A and M were their only friends apart from their boyfriend. I don't think it's my fault, but am I the asshole in this situation? | AITA for not including my friend? | NTA |
10wxxdz | I've lived at my Grandma's for the past year and a half in a converted flat upstairs. This was initially converted for a different family member who lived there for a couple of years as they couldn't afford to live alone, but when they moved out I offered to move in but made it clear my dog would be with me (Grandma ended up loving having the dog, he's very well behaved). I paid half of the bills/insurance/boiler service etc and hoovered so it's a win/win for us both (Grandma doesn't like living alone and I get chance to save for a house, note these bills go up/down depending on what is charged). I have a big family so have never spent much time with her outside of large family gatherings and don't feel much of a connection with her like I do for my parents/siblings.I've since met someone and moved in with them, so have surplus furniture. Low value items I've put in a charity pile ready to be donated and let family know they're welcome to anything in it. Two items I was planning to sell (cost me a lot to purchase) I listed on marketplace, found buyers, then my Auntie let me know that Grandma would like to have them. No problem, I told how much they were listed for. She came back to offer me 75% of that amount -- now, as it's my Grandma I thought okay, giving hera discount would be a kind thing to do, so agree.Then my mother contacts me and, after speaking to the aforementioned Auntie, would like to suggest that I give Grandma that furniture FOC as a "gesture of goodwill". I took some time to think about it and decided against it but now I'm not sure if I may be the "bad" person for not giving her the furniture...So, AITA for refusing to gift the furniture to my Grandma?​Edited to answer questions: My Grandma would not have been able to rent the property to anyone else. It is not separate from her living areas and has very bad damp and will not be rented to anyone now I've gone. If I hadn't lived with her, I would've lived with my mum for probably the same amount. My Grandma is also not struggling financially. | AITA for not gifting my Grandma the furniture I was planning to sell? | NTA |
10x174m | So, for context, I am not a big fan of dogs in terms of living with them. I love them when I see them out and about or at a friends place, but I appreciate my space dog-free at home. For more context, my boyfriends dad is terminally ill, and doesn’t have much time left. My boyfriend wants to get a dog that resembles his childhood dog once his dad passes away. Which, for the record, I’d be willing to compromise on. However, he will not consider a different breed other than the huge dog-bear St. Bernard itself. I have already agreed to getting one once we move, (which is already a huge compromise because I never wanted a dog to begin with, especially one of that size. and the slobber….) but I will not agree to him to getting one while we live in a just-short-of 700 sq foot one bedroom apartment. He still insists on getting one, regardless of the lack of space and no consideration towards our 2 cats we already have in this tiny apartment. Am I in the wrong here? | AITA for not letting my bf get a dog? | NTA |
10x4h69 | Title pretty much explains myself, but I’ll elaborate:My partner and I have been living together for about a year and some change now. Recently, we got into an argument because I said “I feel like you don’t do much of anything to help out around the apartment,” during a period of heated discussion. Context here: I am a full time student, I work a part time job, I do the cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, and am generally the person who does most of the cleaning. He does the dishes and mops maybe once or twice a month. He is in the Armed Forces, and works like a 7:30am-2:00pm or 3:00pm workday. He says I don’t really get it because I don’t do, nor have I ever, worked in manual labor. Am I being unreasonable? I just got into grad school yesterday and he didn’t really offer much congratulations until I asked. Just feeling a bit sour about the whole thing and wanted to see what the Internet has to say about this. | AITA for asking my partner to do more around the house? | NTA |
10xn0sf | My friends and I have been going to this amazing music festival every year for the last 12 years. I was going to share an RV with 5 of my girlfriends. 2 of which are married to each other and get anxiety. We all decided no boys were allowed to stay in the RV and it would be chill. I ended up not being able to go due to health reasons. Another friend, Becky, that doesn’t know the girls I was staying with very well asked me if she could squeeze in one night. I told her yes if her husband wasn’t coming because there was a no boy rule. I also told her it won’t be a crazy party RV. I asked my girls and they said of course so I put them in contact. My closest friend, Kelly, from the RV called me tonight really upset because Becky brought her friend and her friend’s boyfriend to sleep in her bunk without asking the other girls if it was cool. They stayed two nights and brought more people over to party late night while some of the other girls, that paid for the RV, were trying to sleep. They ate their food and drank their drinks and her guests had sex next to her right above one of my girls. Becky paid for her share for two nights but her guests refused to pay anything because they were all crammed in one small bunk despite freely using the entire space. I was pissed and wrote Becky telling her I was super disappointed that I vouched for her and she was disrespectful and what went down was totally not cool. I was curt but not mean. She got super defensive right away and asked why I was yelling at her and ripping her apart. That she had no other choice because her friends would have been stranded. I asked her if she at least asked if it was cool that they stay and she didn’t answer. I responded that I would have made sure my guests were respectful of the space shared with them and I reiterated that I vouched for her and ended up with egg on my face. She apologized that my friends were upset with me but not for what she did. I apologized for coming at her in an accusatory manner and not calling her to ask. So, am I the asshole? | AITA for confronting a friend for disrespecting my other friends | NTA |
10wv3j8 | I (F20) am a lesbian, and have been open about being one to my entire family. All my family is supportive (or at least looks to tolerate it), but my brother (M28) bothers me a lot. My brother makes lots of offensive, anti-LGBT jokes that the rest of my family agrees are trash but we say nothing to him because he's extremely argumentative and will basically beat down you that he's right until you give up. I have grown to dislike him, even my parents are irked by him, but we can't say much because he's one of the reasons we can pay the bills right now (my parents have work, but a lot of their money is going towards my school and groceries at the moment).One day during dinner time, he made another joke and I don't know what happened to me, but I completely broke down. I was crying my eyes out and screaming, I could barely get my words out but I was yelling about how sick and tired I was of how awful the jokes were and how hurtful they were. When I was rubbing my eyes, I got moments to see him look shocked and asking stuff like "What did I do?"Eventually one of my parents had to bring me back to my room to try and calm down but I could still hear my brother downstairs arguing with my other parent asking what he did wrong and why I was so sensitive. I couldn't hear everything, but I remember being called horrible shit for ruining dinner. I wanted to head back down and argue back but I was too emotionally out of it.It's been a week since then but my brother acts like I don't exist. He side eyes me sometimes but that's about it. My parents are still on my side, but I can tell they would have preferred that none of this happened. AITA? | AITA for getting upset over jokes? | NTA |
10xmu23 | I (18M) am a senior in high school with a much older friend (23M). I had recently gone through a breakup in which I simply felt too stressed to be able to handle. After a period of being single and dealing with my stress and anxiety, I started hanging out with a friend in my class (F18) who I had previously had a crush on my freshman year, but it had never amounted to anything. We simply started to talk more and more, even hanging out a few times to watch movies like Lord of the Rings. You know, fun things you do with a friend you enjoy being with.However, I learned later that my older friend had recently started dating this girl’s older sister. I was happy for them as they are both good people with fun personalities. This also meant that my friend was getting the run-down on the fact that I was getting closer to (NOT DATING) his girlfriend’s younger sister. He immediately started talking to me about it a lot, giving me his opinion on relationships and the like, which I valued because I respect him. However I was not necessarily looking for a relationship with this girl, though by the way we interacted I could understand the confusion.Suddenly, all of my time spent with my older friend felt like it had to be about this girl. It was touching that he simply wanted us to be able to hangout through our relationships, but I was still not interested. This resulted in my friend and his girlfriend teasing me a lot and even setting us up on a double date which I was extremely uncomfortable with. They were also feeding my friend’s mind ideas of us being together, causing her to develop feelings.Finally, I felt as though we needed to cut things off. I couldn’t be around my friend without being bombarded with teasing messages about it and I apologized and said we would have to hang out less. I also told my older friend I would not be dating this girl.Unfortunately he and I share a friend group of people I am particularly fond of. However, now he seems to resent me for not giving this girl a chance, and makes me the laughing stock of our group. I am all for a little light hearted banter but it hurts sometimes. Additionally, I think with all the mixed input in my female friends mind, I really hurt her. Maybe I should have given a relationship I didn’t really consider a chance? Idk AITA? | AITA for not being with my friend’s girlfriend’s sister? | INFO |
10xhtfy | My (40f) boyfriend (44m) and I sleep in separate bedrooms. This morning, he woke up before me and decided to come cuddle. That would have been very sweet if while still asleep I hadn't thought that there was a burglar in my bedroom. I woke up screaming bloody murder. My boyfriend is mad at me for screaming but I don't think it was my fault because I was still sleeping when it happened. AITA? | AITA for screaming at my boyfriend? | NTA |
10wuveh | My fiancé and I (both mid 30s) intend to get married this year.I did the big wedding thing the first time around and he turned out to be an abusive piece of human trash. I have no desire to do a big wedding or even a small backyard wedding. My fiancé agrees with this choice. He's not big on the showy stuff and neither of us enjoy crowds, too much noise, or being the center of attention. We don't want any guests. This is about us, and the life we share with each other.That being said, my mom has made comments trying to push me to do more. She wants the backyard wedding thing and to invite some family/friends. She directly said I "can't get married without" her.It's also important to know that my mom stresses me out. She acts entitled to my time and life (inviting herself for week long visits without asking) and she's made some bad decions in the past that affected me in various negative ways (pushed my ex to propose to me, totaled 2 of my cars, and destroyed my credit when I was 20). There's also some serious glass child history there that I'm working through in therapy.I know she'll try to guilt trip me hard if I tell her I don't want her there (she already does this about visits, and she loves to play the victim in every aspect of life) and she made comments about how hurt she'd be if we were to do it without telling her.But I really don't think her presence (or anyone's) would make me happy.WIBTA if I don't invite her when we get married? | WIBTA if I don't want to invite my mother to my fiancé's and my elopement/courthouse marriage? | NTA |
10x76zj | So today I (29m) was chatting it up with a friend about the new Hogwarts game. He was telling me how much he enjoyed it so far and I jokingly asked him to buy it for me so I could confirm his praise. To my surprise he tells me yes but I still think he's joking. I ask if he is for real and he says yes what platform do I want it on.I dm him my GF steam account and tell him to send it there as I know she wants the game way more then I do. She wakes up and sees she was gifted the game and asked me how I convinced him to gift her the game. Instead of lying and telling her I got him to buy it specifically for her I told her the truth. I told her I didn't convince him to gift it to you. He agreed to give it to me but I told him to send it to you instead. Now she is upset because she was only an "after thought" after he agreed to buy me the game(which was originally just a joke question). And it's less meaningful that I didn't ask for the game specifically for her. She's saying that I didn't put her 1st so even though she got the game it has less meaning.Tldr: I jokingly asked a friend to buy me a game. He agreed and I had him send it to my gf. Gf is upset I didn't ask him to buy the game for her specifically. | AITA for telling the truth and not putting my GF 1st. | NTA |
10x89cn | Hi everyone.To establish some backstory I’ve been working at a bank for the last 3 years and when I started it I was young, inexperienced and shy guy not good at selling products or talking to clients at all.Over the years, especially during the last year I changed a lot, I became way more assertive, good at sales and working with clients. Last year we had very good sales and that resolved in high bonuses, more than twice the average yearly income in my area. This year management cut down on our bonuses from sales meaning I have to work twice as hard to get the same money. I made a big fuss about it since we didn’t get a proper raise to our base salary but of course nothing happened. I was told to work hard. Fine.Now I work hard and currently I have made around twice as much for Q1 bonus as my colleagues so far. One of them heard about it and is now demanding we (but really it was meant towards me) refer more clients to her (she’s specialized in insurance and should be the main one doing it in our team) but at the same time management wants us all to do everything. So to please her our management is now basically telling me I work too much and should share my accomplishments with the team. I just said yes to please them but plan to work the same. I don’t understand why I should help her when she’s a senior and accomplished worker with decades of experience it instead of searching for opportunities she demands us give her interested clients. There is way more to this but I don’t want this to get too long. I can elaborate if wanted. AITA for refusing to to bow down to her sharing demands and be a “team player”? | AITA for breaking the workgroup set ways in doing things? | NTA |
10x41wk | This whole event happened a few weeks ago but it’s still on my mind. So I [14F] am a freshman in high school. My 2nd period class had just ended and it was time for my free period in my homeroom class. It’s important to know that my school’s library is located in the middle of the building. There is a history hallway located on one side, and a math hallway located on the other side (so the library is in between the two). And there’s a door on both sides of the library so you can enter/exit both ways. Anyways, my 2nd period was math and my homeroom teacher teaches history. I thought ‘oh! I can just cut through here instead of having to walk all the way around’ (the library is spacious). So I decided to do that because there are a bunch of students at my school. I was just about halfway across and out of no where, my librarian stopped me. He said “Woah woah woah what are you doing? Come here.” He stopped his conversation with another teacher and made me stand in the middle of the library. He told me to look around and tell him what I saw (the library has tall windows, almost like walls, so you can see the lockers and hallways from inside). I told him that I saw students walking in the hallways. He said, “How many students are walking through here?” I answered 0. I can’t exactly remember what he said next, but he was talking to me like I was 4. It really made me feel stupid. I will admit that I cried after leaving. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have just said “you’re not allowed to cut through here.” Why did he have to make me stand in the middle of the library and observe? And again, I’m a freshman (first year there) so I didn’t know about that rule. We had a freshman meeting at the beginning of the school year and my principal didn’t mention anything about that. So I just want to know, AITA? | AITA for cutting through my school library as a shortcut without knowing that it was prohibited? | NTA |
10wsttm | For context my gf is catholic and was raised that way her entire life. I however was raised Christian for most of my childhood and am non-religious now. We are still young and marriage is far off but she has often said that she wants a catholic wedding and that her mom would really want us to have one. I was fine with this initially but got curious and looked up the rules for catholic weddings and there are several aspects of it that I don’t like. The first being that I would have to get baptized as a Christian in order for the marriage to go through. While I was raised Christian, I was never baptized and do not want to be at this point. Another thing being that I would have to attend Catholic Church regularly for 6 months in order for me to be in good standing with the church. I respect religion and would never try to disrespect or put another person down for their religion but I do not want attend church regularly as that is just not what I believe. There’s also other small things like not being allowed to have any pictures at the reception that I think would bother me as pictures are a big thing with me and memories but I think I could look past that one. AITA for not wanting to do these things or should I do these things and go through the motions because I love her. | AITA for not wanting a catholic wedding? | NTA |
10xayv8 | I 38f am Continually bickering with my husband 38m. I work full time from home and still mind our 2,yr old. We have a child minder 3 afternoons a week as he didn't want to put him into creche as he doesn't believe the care is as good& doesn't want him getting sick, (I would tend to agree). On the other 2 afternoons he takes the baby for approx 1hr for a walk as he also works from home. He is an excellent loving and attentive father but a demanding husband. I'm expected to look after the baby the rest of the time and work as my job is being made redundant next year it shouldn't be a priority. He also regularly texts me about things that need to be done round the house while I'm at work. Simple things like laundry that needs done or hoovering etc. He makes the family evening meal every night and I wash up and put the baby to bed. We're also renovating our new house at the moment so he has been doing a lot of work around the house. I've also been going through ivf so on lots of meds and happily am 6 weeks pregnant but tired and have had complications so need to take it easy.I've told him that I am at full capacity and if he wants more house work completed/ boxes unpacked/organized we need to get a cleaner (we don't have the money for this). He says the house is dusty and unclean and that I'm letting our son down by not looking after him properly. So the question is AITA? | AITA for saying enough is enough? | NTA |
10wveah | Sorry, English is not my first language!I think this needs context about my family. My parents got divorced when I was a toddler and both of them are very defensive about money issues. My dad did pay child support, but never wanted to pay anything more. My mom resents him for that, while my dad and his side of the family consider that paying child support was already a lot (some did say that my dad shouldn’t have to pay it and that my mom should handle everything on her own).This general situation has created a lot of tension and rifts in the family. Indeed, my mom considers I never ask anything of them, while they imply my mom and I are only interested in money. Last year I bought a flat. My mom lent me some money to help me. When I asked my dad if he would do the same, he told me he didn’t have any money to spare. I didn’t insist, and though I was disappointed, I wasn’t mad at him. My aunt offered me to lend me some money but it made me feel uneasy and didn’t accept it. I took a loan at the bank and bought the flat. A couple months ago I hit a hard patch, and I was concerned I would have financial problems for a little while. I knew it would be tough and I needed money quick. I didn’t want to ask either of my parents for money: my mom had already helped me a lot, and my dad had already told me he didn’t have any to spare. When my parents were married, they bought a bunch of art. They knew it would be a hassle to divide it in the divorce, so they gave it all to me. Some of it is at my mom, some of it in a storage room. It was a great gift, and it is very dear to me. Anyway, I still decided to sell one of the pieces to get the financial help. It had been in the storage room for more than 20 years and I didn’t think it would be missed… Though sentimentally it was a lot to take in. I didn’t tell my dad about it. I guess I knew he would not approve of it, and I didn’t want to start a fight. And I also was a bit ashamed to be in this situation. Plus, some family friends advised me not to tell him, they thought he would ask me money.With the sale, I was able to repay my mom and get through the tough times. It has given me some piece of mind. However, my dad eventually found out about the sale and he’s extremely pissed. This is how it went: he said I had backstabbed him. He compared me to Judas. He said he had thought of disowning me because of that. He said he felt used. That our relationship would never be the same. That it was my payback because he didn’t help me with the apartment. That I should have accepted the money from my aunt instead. It was a hurtful conversation, and since then his side of the family has gone NC. Though I understand that not telling him beforehand was not considerate, aita for handling it that way and not involving him ? I feel it was my decision to make anyway, and I don’t understand his reaction. It’s too much imo and he could be happy for me. | AITA for selling a piece of art my parents gave me? | NTA |
10wu07z | I (27F) was visiting with 2 friends of mine Taffeta(26F) and Vanellope(28F). Taffeta is married to Turbo(36M) and they have 2 kids together. Vanellope is a single mom of a single child and I have 2 kids as well. So this was our first time all getting to hang out child free and partner free in years because Turbo hates when Taffeta goes anywhere with out him, especially if he is "stuck" watching their kids for her to do so. However I missed my friends so I payed for a babysitter for her so she could actually come out with us for once. Well the whole time Turbo is blowing up her phone and just won't leave her alone. During the whole 3 hours we were together her phone is going off like crazy all from him. And also during this whole time she is telling us how much she does not like her husband and how he treats her and the kids badly.Then she confesses to us that she is having an affair and is in love with affair guy, we can call him Ralph. Well her and Ralph have apparently been seeing each other for awhile and she pretends she is working extra hours to see him since Turbo refuses work. Now I will not lie I do not like Turbo and neither does Vanellope. We have had an issue with him and their relationship for years. Well apparently Taffeta and Ralph have decided they want a baby together and actively trying for a baby. After she tells us all this to me and Vanellope and we both look at each other in an uncomfortable way but since Vanellope has anxiety I chose to speak to Taffeta about the situation first. I told her that I don't care for Turbo and I'm glad she found someone that makes her happy but having an affair is wrong and if she is really done with Turbo she should leave him. She got mad at me and Vanellope who didn't even say anything to her for "ganging up on her husband". And then after 3 hours of talking about how horrible he is and we have seen him treat her and the kids badly, she proceeded to say "we don't really know him and sometimes he treats her so good by letting her take a nap with him while her mom watches their kids". Also to note they live with her mom and I'm not shaming her for that, but that's why her mom watches the kids when she gets home. I decided not to say anything else and I feel like I didn't say anything mean or that crosses the line per say. But maybe I'm wrong? AITA?Edit so I don't have to write a bunch of comments saying the same thing: Me and Vanellope are planning to invite her over to sit down and talk about the situation and let her know we highly disagree with her actions and if she continues on this path we will have to distance ourselves from her. However we also agreed to tell her that she needs to tell her husband about the affair or we will. Normally I would say it's not my place but since they are actively trying for a baby I agree he should know even if don't like him.She has Friday off so that's when we will be meeting with her to talk. I will give an update after. | AITA for telling my friend she should leave her husband? | NTA |
10xabcv | Ok. I’m in Australia.If eligible, we can claim certain types of benefits from the government for many types of things. Not just in a “welfare” type way. We have rental assistance, Medicare, single parenting assistance, family tax benefit, job seeker payment… you get the picture.Someone asked me “hey, do you get money from the government for having kids?”… to which I said no. Weeks later, I mentioned that I received a family tax benefit payment (if eligible, an automatic yearly payment can get paid to you at the end of the financial year when taxes are balanced - amount is variable depending on your income)… Now, the plot thickens. This person has come down hard on me for “lying” about my original answer. In all honesty, I legitimately assumed they meant a payment, like a weekly or fortnightly thing. Which no, I do not receive. I work. I pay my taxes. I don’t need child support from the government. So… AITA for answering incorrectly in the first place? What would you have assumed they meant when they said “hey, do you get money from the government for having kids?”I am aware of how silly this is, I am resorting to reddit for clarification. | AITA for answering an innocent question the wrong way? | NTA |
10xg4ri | Bit of a long story… Just over a year ago a family member passed away. Because of that I wasn’t at University for 3 weeks. When I returned, my friend was ignoring me and acting like I’d done something wrong. When I spoke to her about it she said “you were being too negative and pushing me away so i thought i should just leave you alone”. We eventually resolved the issue but honestly I’ve never fully forgiven her. She wasn’t there for me when I needed her even when I resolved things with her I felt like I couldn’t talk to her about anything in case she started ignoring me for being negative again. Anyway, now that same friend is in a similar situation to the one I was in. She found out a relative doesn’t have much time left and I’m finding it really hard to be there for her. She’s been messaging me with updates on the situation and I’m trying to be there for her and check in to see how she’s feeling but am I the asshole for not wanting to? I feel like I should be there for her more as I haven’t spoken to her about it in a few weeks but what she did to me when I was in her situation keeps going through my head. I don’t know what to do. Not being there for her doesn’t make me feel good because two wrongs don’t make a right and what happened with me was some time ago now but I just can’t get it out of my head. Am I the asshole? | AITAH for not being there for my friend | ESH |
10x3hu3 | In middle school, during graduation, the class president would list the names of all the students, one by one, and they would walk on stage to receive their diploma, and, even if you had never met anyone from my middle school graduating class, you would be able to tell which students were popular based on the reactions they got when they went on stage. The kids who had a lot of friends would be greeted by a crowd that would erupt with applause and cheers, where as the kids who struggled to make friends would be met with silence. The guy before me was one of the popular kids, the guy after me was also one of the popular kids. I was not. I found the whole experience humiliating, and by the end I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry in a corner where no one could see me. In high school it was the same thing, but somehow worse. I was my class valedictorian so I had so give a speech during graduation. I just saw the whole ordeal of writing, and preparing a speech to be stressful, and I have bad stage fright so I was extremely nervous while giving the actual speech, and the applause I got at the end of it was meek. This isn't an accomplishment I was proud of, it's something I was embarrassed by. Now I'm graduating college this semester, and, so far it's been a miserable, lonely experience. I actually found it more difficult to make connections in college than in high school, despite making more of an effort to get out of my shell. I wasn't cool enough to get into the frat groups I tried to join, I never got invited to parties, I never really had a girlfriend or even been on a date, which, since I'm an older college student (I had to take a few years off because of depression) is downright emasculating. I have a few people I text occasionally, but no one I really hang out with on the weekend. I found out recently that a few of the girls in one of my classes were making fun of me behind my back, calling me a creepy incel (these are people I had no interest in and never hit on). I'm just done with this place. I don't think I can make any lasting connections in my final semester. The social aspect of college that everyone raved about, how it's the best years of your life and you should cherish them before you enter the real world and obtaining friendships and relationships only gets harder, just... did not come true for me. I just want to pass my classes and get out of here as painlessly as possible.I told my mom I don't want to attend graduation. They can mail the diploma to my house for all I care, I just don't want to attend the ceremony and put myself through that again. She yelled at me about how selfish I was. Apparently it's been her dream ever since she was pregnant with me to see me walk on stage to receive my college diploma, and since I don't have any siblings, if I choose not to attend, she will never get to experience that. | AITA for not wanting to attend my own college graduation? | NTA |
10wrvse | So, there's this weird situation in my household. I (38/M) live in the same house as my sisters (36/F & 29/F) and their children (4/F & 12/M, respectively).My sisters have this arrangement where they just leave loads of laundry in the washer and dryer (sometimes for multiple days on end) and whoever needs to put a load in is responsible for unloading/folding/putting away what's already in the dryer, transferring what's in the washer to the dryer and then washing their own clothes. When that load is ready to dry, they then have to unload/fold what's in the dryer in order to dry the load they put in the washer.All of this seems completely insane to me. I'm of the opinion that if you start something, you should finish it. I don't expect either of them to move my clothes from one appliance to another, nor do I expect or *want* them folding my clothes. When I put laundry in the washer, I do so with the full expectation that I will also be the one drying/folding/putting it away.I understand that they are both working, single mothers, so sometimes they have to throw a load in to wash before they go to work. I understand that the washer and dryer will not always be empty whenever I want to do a load.The problem is that neither the washer nor the dryer are *ever* empty; they've basically just become extended storage places for clothing that someone doesn't want to deal with right now.What's more, I feel like their expectation that I clear the appliances when I need to do a load of laundry is completely impractical. I work second shift, so when I am able to do laundry, everyone else is asleep. I can't very well go folding laundry in the living room (where my youngest sister sleeps) and then put it away in the bedroom where my older sister and my baby neice are sleeping.My Dad and Mom (68/M & 62/F), who own the house but live in a different house and do most of their laundry at their house, think that I'm the unreasonable one.They might be right. I admittedly have a track record for being an AH, but something about this arrangement seems so convoluted and lazy to me. Surely it cannot be good for either clothes or the washing machine to sit with excess moisture in the drum for several days on end?Has anyone experienced a situation like this before? How did you resolve it?EDIT: I'm going to upvote every response I get, even the ones that I don't want to hear, because I am genuinely that desperate for insight. | AITA for not wanting to finish my sisters' laundry | NTA |
10xciwk | Okay so basically ive been thinking about this for a long time well basically my grandfather was in a short term visit (waiting for them too die basically) and me and my whole family was there my hair was a complete mess near my roots i mightve accidentally bleached a ton of hair off and it looks horrible that day my grandfather was literally in his death bed and my dads sister asked me too take my hood off and i said no my hairs a mess id be ashamed and she said ''he could die today.'' (he didnt die that day but he is dead tho.) so am i the asshole for not taking my hood off so my grandpa could recognize me even tho he was sleeping all the time? | AITA for not taking my hood off? | YTA |
10wtkws | TL;DR - Friend - ''Jason'' (M23) was given tickets to see the Lakers play the Bucks, turns out this game gets hyped up as Lebron might break the scoring record on that night. Tickets skyrocket in price and said friend doesn't cash in at the right time. Lebron breaks the record the game before and I (22M) bear the fall out. Now we aren't speaking.So this is a situation I find myself in right now and it honestly is really frustrating me and caused an unnecessary headache.So, my friend works for X firm in California tech and was given tickets for the Lakers vs the Bucks a while ago, which is set to be played this week. He got given 2 tickets and was pumped about it.Anyways, over the last week or 2 these tickets started to go up in price due to the potential of Lebron James breaking the all time NBA scoring record in this game. My friend kept telling me how much these tickets could be worth and how he'd hit the jackpot here.Anyways, to keep it short, after many screenshots of prices on ticket selling websites like TicketMaster etc. and Jason being hysterical over the whole circus for days on end, it finally gets to around 1 or 2 days before the Lakers vs OKC game. The significance of this is that it was almost certain that the OKC game or the Bucks game would be the game that LBJ would do it. Prices for the two tickets he had were around $6,000-$7,500. He kept going back and forth with me on whether now was the right time to cash in or whether he should hold and 'go big'.Seeing as Lebron was 36 points off the record, I told him that maybe he should cash in now and list his tickets for resell as there was no guarantee that Lebron wouldn't break the record against OKC, which would result in the resale value of his tickets to tank.He said he thought about it but really wanted to go big as he had a debt this could really help him pay off. So at this point I didn't push any harder. He was confident. Ok dude.So, last night, Lebron James beat the all-time record against OKC, thus taking away almost all of this extra value that had been added to resale prices of Jason's tickets....Jason was hysterically whining like a toddler saying that he wish he would've cashed in and that I'm a bad friend for not 'pushing him harder' or 'forcing' him to cash in on the tickets beforehand. He was screaming down the phone last night after the game to me and I swear I've never heard him like this, which made me feel slightly guilty. I know it sounds ridiculous but he is genuinely angry at me for this and after his outburst he hung up and is actively ignoring my texts and calls.Oh and also, the main reason Jason is angry is because he says that I knew how much this money could've helped with his debts and I should've taken charge of the situation????At this point I'm ready to throw in the towel on our whole friendship to be honest, I'm done with his shit.AITA? | AITA for not pushing my friend harder to cash in on the value of his LA Lakers tickets in wake of Lebron James breaking the All-time scoring record? | NTA |
10x0aon | Basically a friend of mine, Jade often says things ignorantly. One time she asked a friend of mine ( who's a POC) if she could speak english. This friend has hanged out with us multiple times and everyone knew she understood more than she could speak but, again J doesn't thik before she talks. Jade also one time called a black dude in my class a monkey ( I called her out) and said that she needed to get vaccinated because mmigrants spread diseases and she was scared (she was genuenly frightned tho). Everyone in my friend group often dismisses what she says. Maybe it's because they're all white but idk.​Today I was with another friend, Mia, she literally hates our entire friend group and always talks shit. A randome girl from class named Emma was hanging out with Mia and I, the friend I mentioned eariler was brought up. Mia told Emma what Jade told my friend and went on to say that Jade was racist. I agreed.​Emma then went and told her friends and talked about it loudly in class and our friendgroup hear. I pretended not to know anything but after I literally leave for one second, Mia told our friend group that we were the ones who started the rumor. ​We got in an argument, Jade saying multiple times that she's not racist and the other two in the group agreeing. I said that she has to be able to stand up for something that she said and that they don't understand the struggle but they kept explaing how she has good intenions (they said that jade was just saying how sad it was that my friend wasn't that good at english because comunication is difficult. not really how my friend said it but sure) and that other people in our class have nothing to do with this anyway. Mia is hella mad but I get how (even though it wasn't me who said it) we shouldn't spread rumors and that Jade and the other girl should have figured it out themselves or whatever. ​I do also want to point out that Jade isn't really that racist, she just doesn't really understand how to behave socially and not to sound mean but I do think that she has some sort of mental problem. A lot of people don't like her because of the things she says especially Mia who always talks shit about her. I do feel kind of bad for her to be labled as a racist if she actually doesn't understand or has some problem but I really don't know what her deal is. | AITA for spreading rumors about a close friend | NTA |
10xjyju | Context: basicly this guy trusted this girl with his elmo toy then she decided to draw on it and threw it then I told the teacher on her because the elmo toy probably costed around 25 bucks so I thought it was messed up for doing that to someone's belonging am I the asshole? | AITA for telling the teacher on this girl who drew and threw this guys elmo toy | NTA |
10xjrxm | So, I'm about to begin my last year of secondary school, and it has become like a tradition for last year students to get their own hoodie. Since my classmates had no intentions of doing anything I decided to do it myself. I presented them two options, the hardest one was the one chosen, so I had to create six diferent logos (in my country, each student can pick a professional path in their fifth year and follow it the last year), I did it and I presented it to them today. They didn't like it, it's totally, I don't actually mind changing the logos (that's the reason why I sent it to them, so they can give me their honest opinion), but, then they decided they wanted a whole new idea, and not gonna lie I hated it. I think those new hoodies they want are ridiculous and I'll never wear one of those (if I don't like it I can wear the normal hoodie, I don't have to wear the new design).Now, they expect me to be responsible for those hoodies when they picked something and then decided that they wanted something else. I feel angry because I lost my time doing those designs just so they could throw it away as soon as a 'better option' appeared, I assume it might just be my pride and the fact that things didn't went as I wanted, but I don't think I should be responsible for the new hoodies.Also I'm not sure how to aproach to them without looking resentful (I'm kinda are tho) or looking pathetic, I don't want them to hate me (1 already think some of them don't like me that much, some of there were on my side anyway). I don't think they'll be able to do something if I'm not there pressuring, don't want to underestimate them, tho.So, WIBTA if I tell my classmates I won't be responsible for our graduate hoodies? | WIBTA if I tell my classmates I won't be responsible for our graduate hoodies? | NTA |
10x3vix | I (49M) have an 18 year old daughter, Selene. We didn't have the best relationship after her mother and I split up when she was ten, but she moved in with me for university because her university is in my city and she didn't want to be alone in student halls. I don't how to describe my daughter's temperament without using old fashioned terms like 'delicate' but that's exactly how she is. She's easily overwhelmed, prone to paranoia and bouts of depression. She's been taken to get evaluated a few times and she's been told each time that there's nothing wrong. I'm no psychologist, but a lot of her mother's family is like this (including my eldest son, her brother) so it might be a genetic thing. Bipolar disorder also runs in her mother's family but until now, she hasn't displayed any symptoms. She's very insecure over her mental health and the possibility of bipolar disorder so any mention of it usually earns me a sharp comment and a dirty look.Selene has been feeling extra paranoid recently. One of her books went missing and she believed that I had taken it, and she didn't let it go until I let her search my office at work. The book is still missing and it's all she talks about. This weekend, my son (21M), Henry, came to visit. Henry and Selene honestly just enable eachother's anxiety/paranoia. Henry is slightly less like this but whenever Selene tells him about what she's anxious or paranoid about, they both end up making it a million times worse than it actually is. On Sunday, Selene and Henry were talking about the missing book and they both decided that it must be in the attic. The attic hasn't been opened in months so I told them it was impossible but they insisted on going up there. This ended up with Selene falling off the ladder and fracturing her arm.She's not injured herself (to my knowledge) due to her worries and strange fixations before but now that she has, I'm very worried. I spoke to her mother on Monday which wasn't useful, but I decided that Selene needed to get evaluated again or at the very least, see a counsellor. I was nervous about suggesting this because she'll assume I'm calling her crazy but I took her out for dinner yesterday and told her that I was worried. I said that I wanted her to start seeing someone and she got really upset and ended up crying. We went home and this morning I received a phone call from Henry who told me that Selene was upset that I wouldn't accept the normal results from her previous evaluations. Basically, she thinks I'm calling her crazy.I know that because of my previous bad relationship with her, guilt is driving a lot of my actions because I want to make up for lost parenting. I'm thinking that because of this and her insecurity, I'm the AH for suggesting counselling even though she's mentally well.AITA? | AITA for suggesting that my daughter needs to see a counsellor? | NTA |
10xasov | English is not my first language. Throwaway.I'm m19 and so is he. We're both uni students at the same major but hold kind of different lifestyles. I like to spend some time alone and do nothing while he's always involved in some different shit each day. He holds a very active lifestyle, goes to gym, stays healthy, goes out for walks, etc, but he's also a risk taker and can get involved in some petty street drama with some shady dudes in the neighborhood.He encourages I hold a similar lifestyle to his (keeping it active wise), but I always brush it off by saying that I don't want to be involved in the dangerous parts of his lifestyle. Not to mention that I know some of the guys he's involved with and they didn't exactly treat me well in the past (he doesn't know about this though). Sometimes he would come into my house not looking too good or even call me when he knew he couldn't even stand still. I always came and helped but told him that I don't like the lifestyle he's living at all.Fast forward to prev. week he got involved in some stupid drama again and wanted me to get him home or to my place. At that point I really had enough. I asked him if he can walk or get in the bus and if he does then I won't be coming and that he'd have to deal with this one by himself. He hang up.I think I may be the asshole for not trying to find him after he left me without a respond, but I had enough of enabling his behavior and felt like this may give him a wake up call. He called me a jerk and an asshole though for not being there for him when I was needed.AITA? | AITA for not coming rescuing my friend when he needed my help? | NTA |
10xjbci | So for context we are both students in different education institutions. My friend is currently in the middle of handling orientation, and is an orientation leader to a group of new students. My friend texted me today about there being a bat (yes, the animal) in a box on the stage in the main hall. It was next to the blaring speaker in the hall full of loud and screaming people and she only found out about it because other students were telling her to not touch the box, it had a bat trapped in it. She had to move the box because it was in the way, but apart from texting me about it she had simply left the hall with her orientation group, continuing on their schedule, having done nothing about the bat.I went off on her, freaking out about the bat being trapped inside the box, it being next to the speaker (bats have sensitive ears and it was likely terrified and in a lot of pain) and generally being pissed that several people, including her, were aware of this situation and didn't do anything about it immediately, like release the bat or call our local wildlife rescue group. She got defensive with me, explaining that she feels ill, the schedule for orientation is really tight, everyone she knows is extremely busy with orientation as well and can't take time off to deal with the bat, and she herself couldn't do anything since she was preoccupied with her orientation group. Any staff she knew were all in other classes, and she didn't think anyone else would give a shit about the bat even though she did, so she just left it thinking there was nothing she could do and carried on. She dismisses my suggestion to go straight to the student office to at least let the school know there was a bat in a box in the main hall, saying she couldn't leave her orientation group for a second and there was no one else who would be willing to go down.I got really pissed at this, because the welfare of a living being takes priority over guiding a group of students around a school, especially since she gave up immediately on the idea of ensuring the bat was okay and just left it. She doesn't think this is an issue because they will clear the hall by the end of today anyways since the bat is in the way, but many people are unaware of the wildlife help hotline and don’t know how to safely release a bat. Whereas she has all this information, so she had the obligation to ensure the bat's safety. I thought she was being irresponsible, letting an animal be stressed and possibly hurt, and should have done whatever she could to let someone who could handle the situation know of the bat, even if it involved her leaving her orientation group in the hands of someone else.I am honestly still really angry at her and want to push her on the issue but she's standoffish right now and I want to know if I was justified or just overreacting and being unreasonable and nosy before I push her on it. | AITA for being upset with my friend for not doing anything about a bat in a box? | YTA |
10x38at | I (19M) have had several problems with my lungs, breathing and sinuses since I was a child. I don't know the exact details so I can only tell what I remember. I had to get surgery done once, and then I had to usually go to a hospital so they would hook me up to a machine that was supposed to help me with my issues, then I had to take medication at home. During my childhood, I had plethora of problems because of this, I couldn't breathe properly so I was always tired, I couldn't keep up with the other kids while running or playing sports, then in my teenage years I got somewhat chubby because I couldn't practice any sport at all, it always felt like I was about to suffocate, even while just walking.My mom (50F) have always smoked next to me. Most of the times we were indoors without any open windows and she would smoke the whole afternoon next to me, other times she would invite her friends home and I'd have to spend the whole afternoon next to 6 or 7 adults that were smoking all day long. I feel that being exposed to that much smoke aggravates all of my health problems, and not only that, it gets me nauseous and because of how many times I've asked my mom not to smoke near me since I was a child, it also generates me some anxiety.As of today, my mom and my brother (22M) both smoke at home. I've asked them many times to please smoke outside, as it takes them little effort. They've always refused and always made a drama out of it. Other times I've asked them to let me know whenever they're going to smoke so I can go for a walk while the smoke goes away, they made a drama out of it and called me manipulative. I know it's not my home and they can do whatever they want, but I'm tired of all the smoke making me feel bad, all of my clothing smoking like tobacco, the food I eat smoking like tobacco... even my cat smells like tobacco anytime I want to pet him. Last time I asked my mom not to smoke at home, she said that I was abusive and threatened with kicking me out of home.I could go sleep somewhere else but this is the house I grew up in so it's really hard for me. Am I being an asshole for asking them not to smoke indoors? I'm being too exaggerated for considering going sleep somewhere else because of the smoke? | AITA for asking my family not to smoke inside? | NTA |
10wubub | My (21m) ex (20f) left me as I made her unhappy and felt too responsible for my emotions. Since then, I’ve found it quite uncomfortable seeing her and hearing her. Often enough it ends up in me vomiting. Our common friend circle hangs out with her in the kitchen below my bedroom. I can hear everything through the floor and it makes being about my room distressing. I shot her a message asking her to be conscientious that she’s hanging about in ear shot of my place and that I’d appreciate the space. After we talked about the message as she wanted me to specify what I wanted. I told her I’d like her to avoid the kitchen and not always go to the things the group does as I’m not coping well with bumping into her and hearing her and seeing her. She told me that I was trying to ostracise her. I said it was as I’m having a rough time of the break up and that I throw up when I see her. She asked if I thought what I asked was reasonable and I admitted it was selfish but that I was desperate. Either way she wasn’t happy with what I asked of her and hasn’t spoken to me since. I shot her a message trying to have a chat about it but she didn’t get back to me. Now I have a mutual friend telling me she’s uncomfortable hanging about the group and the kitchen worrying about how she’s affecting me.I want to be on good terms with her. I’ve doubted myself a lot with her and I just don’t know if it’s constructive self awareness or overthinking in vain. | AITA for asking my ex to not hang about where I live and telling her the specifics of why | YTA |
10xit9z | 35 years ago, I lost my older brother to cancer at the age of 16. He was my hero and only sibling. On the night before his funeral my dad let me drink alcohol with he and my uncle. After we were all drunk, my dad told me that I had to live the life of two sons for him since my brother had passed away.Today I live with my parents and rely on their support. I am disappointed in myself and feel like I have let my dad down. I struggle with mental health issues, and I have turned my life into a series of failures, all of which I take full responsibility for. I've kept the conversation to myself for 35 years, never wanting to hurt my dad. However, after a recent argument, I exploded and with much vitriol, told my dad about what he said all those years ago and how it made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I also brought up all the other times he's made me feel this way in the past. In my anger, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I was so angry and over the top, that even the dogs and cats ran and hid . I regret my behavior and how I exploded, but I feel like my dad should apologize or at least acknowledge that he hurt me.Am I the Asshole for wanting an apology for something said 35 years ago while intoxicated? | AITA for wanting an apology for something that was said 35 years ago? | YTA |
10x7bno | So I’ve been dating this girl for over a year and it’s been amazing! everything is fine except two problems she lives 2 hours away and I work 12 hours shifts at a factory… To elaborate I work 3-4 12 hours shifts a week and it varies from night shift to day shifts and as soon as I’m done I drive an hour and a half to go to her (only if I don’t work the next day) but sometimes i work 6pm to 6am then drive to her house to work which means I’m tired. The problem is that she wants me to wake up when she does and gets mad when I don’t.. which leads to me getting mad, which begs the question… AITA for thinking I should be able to sleep until my body decides to wake up? Because it causes a lot friction between us because she just wants to hangout with me and I just wanna sleep sometimes. And I know it’s because she loves me and just wants to hangout with me but I loose so many hours of sleep between hanging out with her as much as I can and going to work… I feel like I do so much to make this work and that it’s not fair for her to get mad at me for being too tired, particularly after working one of the hardest most body tolling shifts of my life. So can someone let me know if I’m in the wrong here so I don’t keep fucking up.Ps I love this women with everything I have and wouldn’t change a thing about her I just need to know if I’m in the wrong? | AITA for needing sleep? | NTA |
10xig1j | My sister (28F) and I (26F) are currently in a rocky place in our relationship, and she has been calling and texting me nonstop. She is showing up at my house yelling every couple of hours and one of my neighbors even called the cops. I was telling a friend of mine what was happening in such a short time since the incident that has torn us apart and she suggested reporting her for harassment. I want to wait a few more days to see if my sister calms down a bit, but I am considering it. My sister is the type to take things a little too far when she's mad. When we were younger she would often hurt the people around her when she was angry, she really can't control herself in that state. I do not blame her for what she did. She did not mean to hurt me. I am currently staying with my friend. | WIBTA for reporting my sister for harassment? | INFO |
10wwaan | My grandfather doesn't like computers much but he loves Wikipedia. He used to go to his local library and print out Wikipedia articles to take home but was told it wasn't reasonable use so I've been letting him use my printer and printing things off for a while now.Obviously this is a terrible waste of paper and I wish I'd never agreed to do it for him, so for his birthday this year I bought him an iPad. I thought it would be simpler than a laptop or a computer and he could finally read all the Wikipedia he wanted withoutHe hasn't been happy and my dad (his son) says that it was really rude and worse than just saying I wasn't happy with him using my printer as it's ignoring his preference for paper and trying to force screens on him which I knew he didn't like. I'm pretty upset at the cost of the iPad that I feel has been thrown back in my face and it's all dissolvedvpretty fast and got fairly ugly.I just wanted to avoid using my printer throwing out hundreds of sheets of paper a month unnecessarily and to allow him to read all the Wikipedia he wants in a more accessible way but aita here? | AITA for buying my grandfather an ipad | NTA |
10wtxc9 | For context; I, 21F, live with my girlfriend, 24F, and her family.I pay rent + food, I clean the kitchen that’s my contribution.I suffer from depression and disordered eating, binge eating is common for me…for a while I lost a lot of weight and finally liked my body, turns out I am just diabetic, then I just wouldn’t take my insulin and eat what I could…I still do, but I’m not losing weight anymore and I’m gaining it.I try to avoid trigger foods, so I do not buy chocolate but it’s fine if people buy it for themselvesI’m not horribly overweight, chubby maybe but I’m not happy.I bought groceries for a week, and it was a real eye opener because I’d spent like £200 on just dinners for a week for 7 people and considering we eat plant based there were no veg or fruit just frozen processed stuff.I messaged everyone on the family group chat;“Any suggestions for food? Here’s some links, if I don’t hear back I’ll be picking” I reminded everyone for two days and nobody had any suggestions I’m working out more; 3km in morning, 3km in the afternoon and a run with the dog and eating healthy has made me feel better and my insulin drastically went down in doses. Point is I just wanna focus on myself.But everyone’s complaining I don’t ask them what they want, I know they don’t like meals..like MIL won’t eat stir fry, I made stir fry or BIL (13) won’t eat sweet and sour and I made sweet and sour .Everyone’s upset but each time I remind them a) my doctor said my A1C (blood sugars) are dangerously high, that I ask them before I go food shopping for the week and get no responses I get a lecture.I don’t think I’m TA, but my girlfriend says since we’re staying with her family and I know certain meals won’t go down well that I should just buy what they want in a healthier version.I pointed out I made chilli, I don’t like spicy sauce but I still did spicy for them or curry even when I once again, do not like spice.AITA? | AITA for cooking meals only I like? | ESH |
10xcso5 | I play a fair amount of dead by daylight in my free time and it is very common to get angry comments under my steam profile when someone is salty. Most of the time it's something along the lines of "2700 hours and you still play like this? I should have known, since you're from \*place where I live\*". I used to just ignore it, but then it really started to get on my nerves, so I wrote "Feel like going to the circus? Why waste money, when you can look at all the clowns in my comment section crying about a video game?" + salt shaker and crying clown emoji, into my description. Originally, I thought it was kinda funny, but then I started to wonder if it was gonna make me look like an asshole, or some sort of insecure jerk. | AITA for mocking people on my steam profile? | NTA |
10xi728 | F here, I’ve been currently suffering from a dilemma with my current friends and my boyfriend. My boyfriend, let’s call him King, had a lot of drama with my friends over last summer while defending a friend of his in a group chat. She has a terrible sense of tone indication and she apologized for it many times, however my friend called her out in a rather rude manner in a group chat of around 10 people. (I was not present during this) Words were said that he regretted later, however when we all tried to talk things out. One of two friends involved, we’ll call this one Bee. Bee has mild anger issues, and things started to get heated fairly quickly. He compared to Bee as one of his toxics ex and yelled at the two of them for attempting to threaten to take me away from him. (Which happened over text) And they immediately clapped back saying that they could and would do that if he stepped out of line again. Eventually they all stoped talking and my boyfriend left the room. Since then, many more things have happened that I don’t even fully understand. But things started to get unbelievable bad between me and my boyfriend whenever I’d hang around my friends. He’d get upset with me, refuse to call me, wouldn’t hang out with me for a couple days before we’d agree to apologize and move on. But he has problems trying to move on this entire situation. Unintentionally he’d make me feel bad and start a fight with me whenever I wanted to hang out with those friends. But I mean they had hurt him a lot, so I knew where he was coming from, but they were my friends, I can’t just drop them like nothing. But these fights were to the point where he would try to hurt me back until the point where I just caved and went home so I wouldn’t be crying in front of my friends. They were the ones who got me through all of lockdown. But they had wronged him and one of his friends, over something so simple, and slowly started to even try to break us up. As well as try to use their previous threats many many times again. I’m also so heavily in love with this man. Despite this making him sound controlling he’s literally the nicest guy ever and I want to marry him when we can. But he has a tendency to guilt trip me when in truth I just want to see my friends.However, I have a lot of separation anxiety with the people I’ve gotten close too. Even if they are the biggest assholes I find myself stuck in situations I can’t get out because I can’t leave mentally. (This all came from a lot of past trauma.) I have attempted to separate myself from all of this drama since it never really involved me in the first place. But I always get dragged back in by both parties. And I’m at the point where neither side will discuss anything with me when I’m being forced to feel like the asshole for not choosing between either of them.EDIT HERE: Okay so I didn’t include enough information so added a lot more.More edits: in desperately trying to give any information I missed and I’m so sorry for not having enough originally!! So, am I the asshole?I genuinely asking for advice here, because I’m at the point where I just want this all to end. | AITA for refusing to pick sides | INFO |
10x65v0 | I (19F) recently came to university, I live in the school dorm and met my roommate (22F). She and I were completely cool with each other, no issue with each other at all, she helped me a lot when I came here. We live in a very cold country, can be up to -30 degree Celsius or more. I had so much inconvenience living with her and got sick so may times but I had to let it be because she was nice to me in the beginning and I didn't want her to have any discomfort. It all started when I brought a new table into the room. I had been working on my bed since I arrived for a year and gave me backache as I am studying architecture. So the dorm provided me a new one which was the same size as hers because my old one was very small and too high, I couldn't work with it.She was mad that the table was too big and it was apparently blocking her from opening the window. She didn't tell me and I didn't care because she already had 3 chairs and an extra mini table in the room, all I wanted was space for by bed and my table to work. Eventually we changed the room and she had her space to open the window.It was around -15, there was no need to open the window as the room was already cold but she was opening the window. While people are warm in their room, I had to suffer the cold in the room and outside the building. She started opening the window longer and I would close it when I felt it was open too long, sometimes she'd open it at night and I'll wake up with a sour throat.We were at -36degrees and everyone was shaking and shivering in their room, she opened the window in our room because she was apparently feeling hot and the room was twice as cold as anybody's room. After leaving the window open and its freezing, she goes and spends the day in her boyfriends room. At that point I was tired of being nice to her only because she was nice to me when I came.We resumed school and now I left before her, before she leaves she opens the window ad locks the room and by the time I come back, the room Is as cold as outside and I would have to sit in a jacket and work shivering all day until the built in heater finally warmed the room.She took away her heater and took it to her boyfriends room. She only comes back to our room to sleep and spends the rest of the day in his room so every time I come back with the window open, I was the only one in the room, she was never in the room to suffer the cold. I kept telling her to close it before she leaves but she never does and she keeps getting pisses.Today she got so mad and screamed at me saying that because "You're the second one to come into the room you should follow my rules" and I said "We pay the same amount to be in this room so you has no right to set any rules, until you pay my bills for me, I'm not listening to you" I'd rather have her open the window multiple times a day that for her to leave it open and go to school because it's terrible to work in a freezing cold room.AITA | AITA for telling my roommate to close the window | NTA |
10x3pgt | Edit. sorry for the grammar mistakesSo I will try to keep this as short as possible whilst having detail of all events. This is a throwaway account as i dont want anyone to know ive posted this.So im relatively young in my early teen years and my sister is 2 years younger than me. We have strict indian parents. Both me and my sister are in the same school and im in grade 9 and she is in 7.My sister is alwais spoilt and has my parents do things for her so she isn't really independent. My parents believe that since she is younger I must be a good older brother( which i think im a sort of.)Anyway, me and my sister go to the same school and we both usualy walk together and so i have to leave my friends and walk to the car(my dad picks us up) So 2 weeks ago my sister wanted to walk with her friends so i walked with mine. I usualy get out of school early because i walk fast and have to wait around 5mins before she joins me. By that time my friends cant wait because they have to get home early aswell so we say bye to eachother and thats it. Since I didn't have to wait for her i walked with my friends to the car and when my dad found out i was alone and not with my sister, he was furious. We had an arguement and we both didn't speak to eachother for a day or so then we forgave eachother. Yesterday ,I waited for my sister and turns out she went to walk with her friends up to the car and i was stuck waiting there for 15 mins until i assumed she did so and walked to the car. Yesterday it was alright , no arguement , nothing.My dad just told me that i dont have to pick my sister up and she can walk by herself.( note this is a 100-150m walk and that its all on the sidewalk and she just needs to cross the road with stops in it to slow down cars and allow children to walk through.)Today, i didnt walk with her and went straight to the car with my friends and my dad wasnt there. Turns out he went to pick up my sister himself and found her crying because i didnt pick her up. My sister acts wierd with my parents sort of like a baby in front of them to get attention. Do note that before we moved houses I used to go alone 2 miles by changing buses when i was her exact age and she cant walk 200m.Now they are furious and they want me to change schools because i choose 'friends over family'.I feel bad that this happened and just want to go back in time a day and fix all of this. So AITA? | AITA for not picking up my sister? | NTA |
10x6vke | I (20F) am currently engaged to my fiancé (21M) of 3 years. We hope to get married in 2024. I have 2 childhood friends: Emi and Vera from 6th grade that I consider my closest even if we don’t talk to see each other a lot. And I would like my two friends to be there at my small wedding.One friend in particular, Emi sometimes has flakiness or time management issues. We worked at the same fast food job in high school and she’d show up late or leave early, so I always knew she had issues with punctuality. I sat Emi down over coffee that took a while to plan. Told her my fiancé proposed, and we wanted to have a small wedding with her and other fried. I then told her I’d like her there, but expressed my concern if she could make it or not because its a big commitment to be a bridesmaid to. I feel it wouldn’t be fair to the other friend if I had to constantly move plans because of her time management.Emi tells me I can count on her and pleads to give her a chance. I say ok so I arrange a brunch for me, her, and our second friend. I texted her 2 days prior giving information, and the day before I confirmed and called and left messages so she for sure would not miss seeing it.Emi doesn’t show up and I get disappointed in myself for believing things changed. Me and Vera enjoy brunch and planning things and catching up. I scroll on Facebook and see her tagged by her boyfriend where she went to get coffee with her boyfriend an hour after we planned to meet up.I get a crappy excuse apology text saying she’s sorry, but she got sick and couldn’t come, and just woke up to see the text. You just “woke up” at 2 pm yet you seem fine to get coffee? I tell her to forget it and she gets mad upset saying I can’t just disinvite her like that and we should reschedule, we’re bullying her by excluding her. I mentioned that maybe her boyfriend shouldn’t post pictures of her if she’s sick otherwise I would’ve believed it.At this point me and Vera are close to cutting ties because she had the option to not come, but instead lied. We are each others only friends so I’d feel bad leaving her friendless. I don’t want to imagine what my wedding day will be like if she can’t even make it to a brunch. She’s going in all different moods trying to make amends and saying to replan things. I can’t replan a wedding for her when she decides not to come. But I feel this would burn bridges which I find myself ok with.WIBTA if I don’t invite my childhood friend to my wedding?Edit: When I said me and my fiancé wanted our wedding to be small we were picturing less than 20 people because we aren’t close with a lot of people, and also prefer it to be small and memorable. I’m worried if she comes and doesn’t show up we also lose our money that could’ve gone to something elseSo some places I called like the catering and nail or hair salon charge per person:I was looking into a Japanese catering service and they told me they would charge us $75 per person for food and drinks. If said friend doesn’t come we lose $75 worth of food and drinks we had to pay for. Wedding salon package needs a minimum of 6 people (Originally planned for me, Emi, Vera, my sister who would be my maid of honor, mom, and aunt) if Emi doesn’t come we’re losing out the cost of the hundreds of dollars of salon service that could’ve gone to somebody else.So I’d really like to know if she would be honest if she knows she can’t or won’t come so I can make definite plans that won’t be affected negatively if she doesn’t show up. I’m not very rich that I can just casually blow off a couple hundreds if I can prevent it. | WIBTA if I don’t invite a childhood friend to my wedding? | NTA |
10wel7n | I’m estranged from my parents & 6 siblings. I’ve only spoken w/ a few of them rarely in recent yrs. I’ve struggled to let go as I loved them so much. My attempts to reconcile were unsuccessful. They don't care enough to rectify the situation.My story is about more than $. It’s about integrity, respect, family, & love lost. It began when my brother (a self-proclaimed venture capitalist w/ narcissistic tendencies) defrauded me out of $170K from one investment & tried to steal my $ from another. My parents refused to acknowledge it.Rather than remain neutral & despite evidence of a crime, my father shielded & sided w/ my brother, who’s been unconsciously favored due to his charm & Brad Pitt good looks. They gaslit & blamed me. It was torturous. My other siblings were silent & wouldn't help. My mother plead ignorance yet sided w/ my dad.I kept loving them all while remaining kind, fun, generous, & helpful. I gave my brother every opportunity to make it right, but he didn’t despite earning millions. I need my $ after leaving a successful career in high tech to do unglamorous work helping the environment which is rewarding but pays very little.I never invested w/ him again. I waited for resolution that never came. I finally sued my brother, & he had to pay. It was miserable, but I couldn’t ignore it. My dad told me I was "wacko” & have a defective personality for being upset. My brother & father disparaged me. My brother got mad at one sister for spending time w/ me. After I heavily criticized them, most of my siblings cut me off without sympathy.My father then decided to cheat me out of the returns ($100K) from my old investment in the biotech company he founded which finally went public. He refuses to pay despite the stock purchase agreement we signed. He ignored my verbal & email requests.My dad said it’s not my $ and he doesn't have to pay me if we don't have a relationship. I was attacked when I threatened to sue which I didn’t want to do. I do want justice, honesty & accountability but not revenge. Truth is more important than $.I kept hoping my family is capable of making mea culpas, but they’re not. One could argue it’s not their fault. It’s their wiring. But they still deny reality.My father has done many good but some bad things in life (affairs, my investments). In this case, he refuses to behave w/ integrity, own his mistakes, be honest, & apologize. If he did, reconciliation is possible.My beloved nephew, a navy pilot, got married last summer. He’s amazing, & I love him dearly. I felt uncomfortable attending his wedding w/ my entire family due to unresolved financial & emotional abuse & neglect.It broke my heart further not to attend his wedding. I have not & will never treat my nieces & nephews differently. They’re precious & innocent, & I love them unconditionally.Today, I received my parents' belated X-Mas card. It’s a photo of my family next to my nephew & his bride at the wedding. My mother Photoshopped me into the card without telling me. It’s important to her to always appear like a perfect family. We are not, & she’s in denial.Normally I wouldn't care, but I haven't visited w/ my parents in 5 yrs. I believe my mother still loves me but not enough. She cares more about family image than my feelings.She knows I can't bear to talk w/ my dad until he’s given me my funds. So, being part of her perfect family façade is painful since she wouldn't help & has hurt me further.Upset, I called & told my mother it crossed the line. She said, "It's my card. I can put you in it if I want.” My sister texted, “She doesn’t need your permission.”**Am I the asshole for getting upset w/ my mother?** | AITA for Getting Upset with My Estranged Mother for Photoshopping Me Into Her Christmas Card? | NTA |
10x6ftb | AITA for calling my step mom after 20 years? I had tried to keep in contact after she and my mother split. (It was a bitter break up for her I guess. Though she’d been the abusive one, physically, mentally. To both me as a child and my mother.) She moved, I had her address only and sent letters, called her parents once or twice left messages, sent gifts, invited her to my wedding, sent her a birth announcement for my child, photos and never at any point did I get a response back I really didn’t expect one. But at least the option was there for her.Despite the abuse and abandonment I forgave the woman. She raised me for 18 years and is as much a mother to me as my birth mother. After so many years I finally called her. She at 80 seemed a bit lost for a moment, she didn’t even remember who I was. I admit in thinking I was dealing with someone who’s mind had gone. But remember she did, and she said that she was sick(heart condition) that she’d like if I could contact her more often so I did. She doesn’t have Long Distance or internet, so I had to be the one to call, and that was fine. After a few exchanges over the next few weeks. She convinced me to come for a visit, I was to bring my family and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. With the support of my family, my therapist, and a chance to forgive and move forward I agreed.The visit went great, we caught up. She told me we’d do it again and that she wanted to stay in touch. I felt closure and happy, forgiveness is a wonderful thing that lifts a heavy weight off of your heart. I called her over the next couple weeks, staying in touch. She seemed thrilled to talk with me, so I mentioned how she’d always been a mother to me and always would be. I guess that was presumptuous. It was a couple days later she calls me saying. “I talked to my lawyer about claiming you and he said because of my age I can’t. I’m sorry so we’ll just have to stay friends.” I tried to reassure her during the call that she’d be family to me no matter what. I thanked her for her attempt but that it was unnecessary and what would a lawyer be needed for I didn’t want her property or anything and we said goodbye.I processed this call over the next few hours and got worried, I called her back. She didn’t answer, I left a message saying I’d try back later and that I was worried. Each time I called I got more worried. The next morning I called for a welfare check. The officer called me back saying she was fine and that I shouldn’t call anymore. AITA? | AITA for calling my stepmom | NTA |
10x9nw7 | I know usually hardcore things are posted in this subreddit but. Me and my best friend met each other 4 years ago and have been talking every day since then. We always made plans and if one couldn't make it, we would inform each other. few weeks ago my friend stopped replying on the day we made plans. I thought something happened and I was really worried until I asked a mutual friend which she told me he has been texting her all this time. I was really upset after that so I gave him the cold shoulder for weeks even though he has tried to apologise, around that time was really tough for me as I lost my most precious friends and he was the only close one left. And I didn't want to get hurt again chasing him. I felt really bad after that and in order to apologize properly I asked our mutual friend for help. She told me that he didn't give a fuck about me anymore, he was much happier and she was so shocked that he replaced me with her. I was confused but decided to ask him instead of jumping to conclusions. He said those weren't true and he still thought of me as a close friend. We talked a lot after those few days but it didn't feel the same as the old times. It felt forced. A little after that he told me he broke his relationship with her because of how she treated me and how she was treating him. Obviously that ended being a lie as I just saw them lying in each others laps. He never talks to me unless I start the conversation and even that is the bare minimum. aita for ignoring him and his apologies when the problem first rose and possibly ruining our relationship? And what should i do after this? | AITA for ignoring my best friend for weeks? | ESH |
10wugfa | My boyfriend (21M) is on the verge of a video game addiction, if he doesn’t have one already. He plays video games from around 5pm-6am almost every single day- honestly I (21F) can’t remember the last time he went one day without playing.He’s usually very sweet to me, but whenever he plays games, he pretty much ignores me the entire time. He sits there and doesn’t move at all and just talks to his friends. I feel alone and isolated, and our love just doesn’t feel genuine anymore. We’ve been together for 5 years and our sex life is very very boring now. By the time he’s off his game I’m either sleeping or just pissed off.To combat this, I’ve tried talking about it to him, but he just doesn’t want to hear it. He tells me we “spend every day together” just because we live together, and he gets mad at me when I speak to him during his games. I gave up trying to tell him my feelings towards it because he’s very defensive and doesn’t seem to care really about what I’m saying. He’s going to do it regardless. He hasn’t had a job in months, but is going to school currently. On the other hand, he is moved far away from home and he doesn’t have any friends here, but when he plays video games he gets a chance to connect with his friends back home. He had depression really badly the past couple years, and video games were his outlet for that. I don’t want to be an asshole and tell him to get off because he’s been playing too long because I do somewhat understand that it’s a stress reliever. But I do get quite angry with him after it’s been 12+ hours and he hasn’t moved from his spot. | AITA for interrupting my boyfriend while he plays video games? | NTA |
10x9jr4 | I (18M) am in a co-leadership role in a club at my school with four other members, recently they have been criticizing me for not showing up as often as they'd like me to, Initially I apologized for my absence and said I would try to show up more often. The issue came when I explained to them why I wasn't really showing up, ever since the first day of the club all the other "leaders" had a job in the club except me, I figured if I waited long enough they'd finally let me do something to help run the club but that day never came, It didn't take long for me to forget to go from time to time, and the times i did go I did nothing the entire time despite me trying to offer to help, and this trend has gone on the entire year. I suggested to the other leaders that It would help my memory if I actually had something to do, which they responded with more hostile messages to make a long argument short, it became a back and forth between them saying I wasn't reliable enough to get a job due to my absence, and me saying I wasnt "reliable" because I had nothing to do in the first place, and didn't see a purpose in going, while also making me forget I was even part of that club. Towards the end they tried to say "well since you signed up you basically said you where committed to the club, so you need to show up or else you wont have any role in the club" this made me more pissed and I have since told them that the conversation will continue later as I had gotten busy. Now I'm here, pissed that despite my suggestions to help both me and them out and me explaining to them why I wasn't showing up in the first place, im being met with hostility and threats of being kicked out. AITA | AITA for being argumentative with fellow club leaders when they criticize for not showing up often. | YTA |
10wwpvv | My wife seems to think it's ok to talk about ex boyfriends and even asked me if she was the ahole because someone who liked her was turned down because their parents were dating. So I'm asking if you think she's the ahole for continually bringing up former flames, and even wants my am I the ahole comments on past situations. I mean I could be the ahole because I don't want to talk to my wife about former lovers or flames that she has had. Her argument was that she just asked a question. I could have just answered it. I guess, just tired of ex lovers and flames being on the talking table. | AITA when I don't want to talk about ex's and past flames | NTA |
10x615h | So, I just need to understand Am I the AH here. I know I’ m for first part. But the second? So I have (had) a very close friend - like realy close. I asked her if she and her familiy if wanted to celebrate NY together in November. She said (Lets call her Jess) - of course. We have a history of me changing plans last minute and I know it bothers her a lot. Somewhere in december I invited to NY celebration another friend (Lets call her Carol) and her husband. They also are friends with Jess. I forgot to tell her I invited them - I know stupid, but december is a hell for me with kids. So few days prior in common chat with them I started asking about food preferences with Jess and Carol. Carol was responding, Jess was not. She wrote she will not attend - no explanation. I spent a day thinking what’s wrong, she blocked me on chat. I realized I did not share I had invited Carol. I called her to aplogize. She did not pick up. I profoundly aplogized in message and said that yes, I should have informed her prior. She said - it’s not Carol, as they are friends, but me being disrecpectful and not informing her. I aplogized again and said I understand she does not want to come and I oversteped boundaries by not informing her. I understand why she’s angry and I’m really sorry as it really slipped my mind but that’s not excuse. So we had NY without Jess. It’s been more than a month and she ignores my every attempt to reach out. And it hurts as she was really my good friend. I tried to apologize many times and said I do understand her. But I do feel that the ignorance is not worth the crime. I know I’m the AH for not checking prior but I’m really hurting as it seems due to this she has cut me off. As for before that - we had some disagreements but overall we shared messages each day. I really loved her and time with her. So I guess I’m asking if me being AH for not checking with her prior inviting other guests makes me AH to cut all contact? And yes, intially I indicated we would be only 2 families - me and Jesse’s. She’s good friend with Carol - and they meet sometimes seperately. Even after NY. So it’s not dislaike for her or her husband. Carols and Jeses husbands are friends. | AITA for mistake from my side regarding NY | YTA |
10x8tqc | I (M26) have 2 very close friends (both M24) who basically grow up together and went to the same school until halfway to college. We'll call them B1 and B2. All of us were expats but they were living with their families and I was living solo. Due to this, I used to getting invited to each of their family's occasions, holidays etc. So I became a family friend to both of them. Recently they have a falling out. B1 discovered that B2 was making moves on his GF (yeah this is really a shitty thing that B2 did). When I talked to B2 about it, he was aware about the consequences of his actions and he knew that he would risk destroying his friendship with B1. B1 wanted to cut-off B2 which I totally understand. B1 also told me that his beef is only with B2 and I should not be involved in it. If I still want to be friends with B2 , it's ok with him. He also wants to keep it a secret and asked me not to tell anyone including their parents and friends in our circle.I usually hang out with B1 as we live in the same area. However, every time I hang out with B2, B1 would usually send me passive-aggressive messages (ex. send me pictures of a snake, telling me take care you're with a snake). I just laugh it off and brush it off as a joke. It is also now hard to arrange hanging-out with our other friends who are still clueless as I don't want either of them to be left out. Until recently when I hang-out with B2, B1 would ignore me. When I try to talk to him, he would give responses like go hang-out with your snake friend. Yeah I know he's Angry and has every right to be.I just don't know where to place myself because I can't simply cut-off B2 also. I feel like I'd be the asshole if my friendship with B1 implodes because I chose to still become friends with a "Snake" | WIBTA If my friendship implodes because I'm still hanging out with a friend who cheated another friend? | YTA |
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