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10x8lw6 | I (32 f) just got done defending my cousin (34 f) from her dead beat baby daddy. She got pregnant 10 months ago and he blocked her on all social media, made her go through the pregnancy completely alone, and when the baby was born 1 month ago, he did not come to the hospital and has yet to see his child, yet had no problem asking her for sex last week. When I complained about him to our family, saying I confronted him through DM on social media, one of my uncles laughed and joked that's why he's not on social media. I rolled my eyes, but said nothing, because this particular uncle, while I love him, has 5 kids with 3 different women and has dodged child support from them for years. When my mom (his sister), grandma (his mother), and I were alone, I mentioned how disgusting I think he and my cousins situations are. And that I don't get why as women, they never gave him a hard time for not being there financially or physically for all the families he's started and they got angry at me. They made excuse after excuse for him, blaming the women for him not being around. My mom then tried to slut shame me and say that the men in our family are "far less promiscuous" than me. Btw, I have no children and I'm getting married soon. I got angry and called them both enablers for turning a blind eye to the reckless behavior of the men in our family. I told them that they are partially to blame for all the broken homes the men in our family have created. They are angry with me and won't talk to me at all. Part of me thinks I was wrong to stir the pot. So tell me, AITA? | AITA for calling my family enablers? | NTA |
10x73co | Me and my siblings families went on a little road trip to visit our parents during the kids winter break. My sister and her husband had to leave a day early. Her older son wanted to stay longer, so she asked if he could ride back with me since I live right by them.As we were leaving the next day my brother's daughter, Ashley, says she wants to ride in the cool car (I had just gotten a brand new car earlier that month) too. I said I didn't think that would be a good idea. The reason being that Ashley gets carsick. This was not a onetime thing. It happens practically anytime she is in a car. My brother and sister in law did come prepared with sick bags, but it happens suddenly so she misses the bag and spews chunks everywhere. Seriously this kid must projectile vomit or something because my brother was cleaning the back and front seats of his car when we got to our parents.My brother was not happy with my answer and said I was putting my new car over my nieces feeling. He said that since I'm a dad I need to get over it and get used to having a messy park. I admit I've always had a strong preference for keeping things clean and tidy, but I'm not the sort of person that gets upset if there's a mess by accident. Like I understand it happens, but I think it's okay to avoid it. It's almost not even an accident when you know it's going to happen. Plus vomit is a lot grosser to clean up than something like a spilled drink. It was also super cold outside so when she puked we would have been forced to drive with the windows open and freeze or deal with the smell.In the end I didn't budge and my niece had a fit because she didn't get to ride with us. My brother brought it up passive aggressively last weekend which bothered me. Also my niece did end up puking at least once on the ride home. | AITA for not letting my niece ride in my car because she gets carsick? | NTA |
10xnb8l | I've owned and operated my own Cinema for nearly 10 years, like many people who operate their own businesses i've faced issues the last few years especially during the pandemic but thankfully we've survived so far. As our 10th anniversary is coming up i've decided to host a special charity event with a Video Game Tournament where the winner will get 50 free tickets they can redeem at any movie at any point in the year. The cost to enter is £20 per person and all proceeds will be going to a local charity that supports the recovery of addicts, a thing near and dear to my heart after I lost my sister to drugs. I was talking to one of my regulars about this, she and her son come to the cinema every Wednesday as it's part of their routine and with his additional support needs routine is very important to them. I was just gossiping and sharing my plans for this when I revealed that the charity day would be on May 24th, she did a quick check and turns out it's on a Wednesday. She asked me if i'd be doing normal movie screenings on one screen as the cinema has two screens and I explained that i'd originally been planning to have it set up in both rooms, I felt awful about this though and told her i'd happily give her and her son a voucher for a free movie showing in apology for this inconvenience but she wasn't happy.She asked that I change it to the Tuesday or Thursday instead which I tried to explain wasn't possible as i'd begun to arrange it already and it'd be a hassle to change it plus the 24th was our literal anniversary. She began to say how I didn't care about people with additional needs and "how upset my son would be when he couldn't come to the cinema he's used to on a Wednesday", I made it clear they were welcome to join in the tournament but that there'd be no movies showing.I won't lie I was quite upset with these accusations of a lack of care because I ensure that I have a quiet screening every monday, wednesday and sunday to help support people with additional needs this is ontop of my baby/toddler screenings so people can bring their young children to movies on tuesdays and fridays and not worry about disturbing people with their children being loud. I've tried to ensure i've always been considerate of people and for a regular who I thought knew me better than that to make such an accusation it hurt.this has been eating away at me though and I can't help but feel guilty for the upset that is likely going to happen as a result of this, am I the asshole for not budging? | AITA for refusing to host my Cinema's charity event on a different day? | NTA |
10xlo8p | I work as a nanny on Mondays from 8-5, and in a medical office Tuesday through Friday, from about 6:30-4:30. I have a fiancé who lives with me. He doesn’t work. He plays video games a lot, likes to go for walks and makes dinner for when I get home. I have mentioned a few times that I could really use some more help around the house while I’m at work (cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen/ dishes and maybe even deep cleaning… doing the windows and mirrors, maybe dusting, maybe cleaning the oven or wiping down the kitchen cabinets, deep cleaning the bathroom, just random stuff) What I explained to him most recently is that I need him to take some of the “mental load” from me and make it his own. Like maybe on Monday- Friday his “job” can be tackling house chores and any little extras he could think of. This way, I could get home from work and just KNOW that all those tasks were done. And I didn’t have to unload the dishwasher, or start a load of laundry or fold the laundry he took out of the dryer and left on the bed, or clean the bathroom. And then to top it all off, on the weekends we could actually go places or do things because we wouldn’t be stuck at home while I frantically deep clean the whole house. If I ASK him to do a task, it generally gets done with no issue, or if I make him a list he will generally get the list done.But my issue and the problem is that, all those things that I have to write down on the list or have to ask him specifically to do they stay in my mental load. So now I’m sitting around every week taking time, trying to see what around the house needs to get done, knowing that if I don’t ask, it probably won’t get done. What I’m not understanding is… why can’t he be the one to look around and see what needs to get done and then take the initiative and just do it without me ever having to ask him. So am I the asshole? | AITA for asking my non-working fiancé to tackle household chores while I’m at work? | NTA |
10xcahf | I've (25F) been with my girlfriend (23F) for two years. I am on the autism spectrum, she is neurotypical. Due to being autistic, my brain doesn't learn or do stuff as fast as others. I have a harder time picking up on social cues. If someone gives me a list of verbal directions all at once, I'm not going to remember all of it. I have to work around it by taking notes. It takes me longer than average to do things most would consider basic, like washing dishes, because I am also a perfectionist and focus on the details. My girlfriend knows that I have autism but I don't think she really gets that it's a long term disability. I go to therapy and do what I can to manage it but social interactions are always going to be a struggle for me and masking wears me out. But she wants me to mask all the time and gets angry when I can't do it. I know I fuck up a good amount, but I feel bad enough when I do it and I don't need her calling me stupid, a child, immature, or an idiot. I do think she's right about those things I am immature and not that smart, but I already know that about myself. I just snapped at her a couple days ago when we were shopping at the store and I had to check us out. I wasn't looking at the cashier too much and forgot to smile as much as I was supposed to. Afterwards I felt embarrassed and like a total asshole. She of course started to complain that I didn't make eye contact with the cashier and that I "act like a child" and I snapped. I basically said that I feel she is never happy with me and she wants me to not be autistic but that I can't. Now she's ignoring me. | AITA for snapping at my girlfriend? | NTA |
10xou71 | One night I turned on the dryer at 1am and found a note on my door the next day saying not to run the dryer at night because it makes a lot of noise. I got management to take a look at the dryer but they said nothing they could do noise wise, it was fine. So I just avoided running it at night. 11 MONTHS later, I had come back from a trip and needed to run the dryer. It was 11pm, neighbor comes down immediately and tells me to turn it off. I explain the situation and say I could turn it off in 40 minutes. Neighbor says that doesn’t work for him, it would be better if I turn it off now. Said I didn’t want my clothes ruined, keeping it on. I didn’t turn it off. Am I the asshole? | AITA for not turning off the dryer? | YTA |
10xlzz6 | I (F32) work for a large multinational. I manage the local team who perform the core business functions, but periphery employees work alongside my team despite their reporting line going outside of the country. It is quite a complicated setup, but it basically means I only have hiring and firing power over my core team despite overseeing the entire office.I came back from maternity leave this Monday, but while I was gone, a new periphery employee (M35ish) started. I had met him once virtually during his interview process, but it was mostly as a courtesy to me rather than me having much decision making power. He did know, however, that I oversee local operations.Since going back to work, I have discovered that I cannot stand him. Unfortunately, the industry attracts a certain type of egotistical person sometimes, and he is a cookie cutter of the stereotype. Matt is a know it all and incredibly arrogant, to the point where he will openly dispute facts and make you second guess yourself based on his assertive behaviour. He has also actively undermined others in meetings despite being wrong. His boss (F40ish) gave me an unrelated call yesterday, and on a side note, asked how Matt was doing. Now I understand I have only known him for a few days, and I didn't want to be unfair. I told his boss that I hadn't reviewed any of his work yet, and would not make a judgement until I can see the quality of his output.A separate colleague (M30ish) overheard the conversation as he was waiting outside my closed office door to have a discussion with me. He told me afterwards that I was not being transparent with Matt's boss, and that Matt was actively making everyone's job harder. He said that I need to come clean (as if I were keeping a secret) and tell the truth. I told him I was trying to give Matt a chance, and be diplomatic, but he said that was not the spirit of the question.I don't want to cause problems for my own staff, but I also want to give Matt a chance to settle in and get over his new starter gitters just in case he isn't actually insufferable. Was I the AH for not answering honestly? | AITA for trying to be diplomatic and not being transparent? | NTA |
10xltr3 | AITA for not inviting my nephew to my wedding?I’m (33f) marrying my fiancé (33m) this spring, and we decided to have a child-free wedding. My uncle asked me to let him bring his son, but I was clear that it’s a child-free wedding and allowing him to bring his son wouldn’t be fair to our other guests with children. It took some time, but he accepted this. About two months ago, I found out my fiancé’s brother (BIL) and his wife (SIL) asked my fiancé if we can make an exception and allow them to bring their son (he’ll be almost 1.5 years on the wedding date). We reiterated that it’s a child-free wedding, and I explained how my uncle would be incredibly hurt if we made an exception for their child but not for his. My uncle would probably cut ties with me over this, and I explained this. (I don’t think him cutting ties with me would be right, but it is a very real possibility and I don’t want that to happen.) SIL seemed upset and she expressed how she thought my fiancé and I were closer to her son than this. I reiterated that it has nothing to do with our relationship with her son and everything to do with how damaging it would be to my relationship with my uncle. And to be honest, I genuinely don’t think it’s fair to the rest of our guests with children. It feels like playing favorites.I thought things were settled after the conversation, but I found out today that BIL and SIL are still hurt. I feel guilty, but I also believe that asking for a child-free wedding and being consistent across the board isn’t wrong. AITA for holding firm on this?Why I think I’m the a-hole: We aren’t allowing our nephew (someone we’re meant to be close with and love dearly) attend our wedding despite his parents being hurt over it. | AITA for not inviting my nephew to my wedding? | NTA |
10xngxw | I'll preface by saying this, my parents are genuinely good people, good for each other? Probably not.I21M), come from a family where every kind of hardship you can imagine, we've faced. I'm not poor by any means, but in my childhood, we kind of were. Now onto the issue, my parents each have trauma of their, and I'm talking about serious trauma, which, they never got the help for. They were good people(still are), who were betrayed by their family, friends, and even strangers. Now this has caused rifts between them, and those rifts have created collisions, very often. Nothing physical at all, just lot of words from both sides. This has been going on since I was a child. They fight, I mediate,which I know is wrong now. I had to be a support system for both my parents and their trauma. For an example, I used to get bullied a lot, but I could never tell my parents, I used to wipe my tears, clean myself up, and just try to resolve whatever was going on between them, this was, not overy often, but still had a constant frequency. When I left home for college, I realised coming here, what is the meaning of being treated your age. In my home, I was a child, treated like a man, here, even if everything was not fun, I still found it an environment where I didn't feel suffocated. Then come the lockdown, where I had to return to my home. While everyone celebrated going home, I dreaded it. Then, came the fights, more vicious, more toxicity, there was never a physical aspect to it, which I don't know why I am specifying it. There used to be times, wherein, due to stress I ripped my hair out, used to cry in fetal position and used to mediate their fights, trying to make them understand each other's prespective. My parents would see me in such a state, apologise and then it would repeat. When lockdown ended, I made a promise to never go back ever again for my sake. In the past 2 years, I've visited them for a week, I've reduced me calling them(I used to do it thrice a day, to make sure they are not at each other's throat or their health is ok).Since then, I've been told by them, that I've changed, I'm not the ideal son I was anymore and more and more such things. I suffer from effects of their fighting, Whenever I see someone fighting,I start shivering, having migraines, and somehow, my brain just freezes and gives me flashbacks of the times when my parents used to fight. I plan to do therapy, once I'm financially independent, because this story is just a part, I have faced a lot more from many people.So, onto the question, my mother called me and asked me why aren't I coming for holidays, I simply told her the truth, and now she is mad at me. I feel guilty, as they are old and have no one else(I do have an older sister). So, am I the asshole, for not visiting them more often?P.S : I apologise for the wall of text, haven't really told anyone this for years, once I started, there was no stopping | AITA for not visiting parents more often? | NTA |
10xibao | My wife has handled our finances for our whole marriage. We both have great jobs, but always seem to struggle financially. I always attributed this to the cost of raising children, but recently, due to some digging I had done when I found out she had been talking to another guy daily, I found out she has taken out numerous payday loans and cash advances, totaling thousands of dollars in recent years behind my back. In addition to that, she has defaulted on several credit cards. Once she figured out I was going through her phone, she changed her password. All of the sudden one day, she asked me to bring home all of my pay stubs from work and didn’t really give me a reason.I refused, and we had a pretty serious fight.Eventually, we came up with the compromise that I would give them to her if she took the password off her phone.She agreed, so I brought them to her. But all of the sudden, she refuses to change her password, saying she has a right to privacy with nothing to hide.Am I wrong for not trusting her? | AITA For not trusting my wife | NTA |
10xjcbu | So our housecleaner has been coming since mid-December, almost every week, but sometimes every other week. We live in a rural area. Housekeeper wanted (and we paid him) $25/hr plus tip, usually an additional $25-$50. They would stay between three to five hours, depending on what was getting cleaned. Never had a single complaint. The home is less than 2000 sq feet, with the biggest issue being dog hair. I work from home and need minimal distractions, so my spouse gave the cleaner a list of items to do today. The housecleaner left abruptly after 15 minutes. We assume it was due to the list, but I could not be interrupted today due to work meetings. Plus, we didn't want to forget things. We thought the to do list would be most appropriate and helpful (since cleaning needs vary each week). But it seems like the housekeeper ghosted us and/or was offended (won't respond to texts, didn't communicate what the issue was, left abruptly,etc.) AITA for providing the housecleaner a to do list? Is this normal? | AITA house cleaner left | NTA |
10xlilc | My husband has ADHD. He’s a lengthy talker and often cuts people off in conversation. The other thing he does frequently is repeat himself, the combination of these three things really bother me somedays.
We’re in the beginning phases of getting a pool installed and are getting bids from multiple companies. We’ve talked with four companies, the first three he completely dominated the conversation not allowing me to speak, any time I would start talking it reminded him of something he forgot to say (or at least I think) and he takes whatever I started to say and runs with it.
Today a contractor came to our house and I told my husband in a joking manner, “don’t overtake the conversation, let me do some talking”, he laughed and said “ok, I’ll be quiet”. That lasted not more than 5 seconds because he went into overdrive and the word vomit began. He got quiet for a moment so I started talking and sure enough he cut me off. I sat down and diverted my attention to my laptop and said I was just going to get my work done as there’s no need for me to be a part of the conversation if I can’t get a sentence in.
Later on my husband asked me why I seemed agitated, I explained how he’s long winded and constantly cuts me off. His response was “I’m going to remove myself from anything to do with the pool and let you handle it all. It’s not fun to me, and you’re bothered when I ask questions or give feedback”, of course he went on for several minutes.
When he was done, I told him that it’s not my place to tell him what to do and that if he chooses to not be involved that that’s his choice, he cuts me off AGAIN and starts going on about how he’s stepping away and how his talking is a problem for me, etc… I then cut him off and told him that I was tired of him repeating himself, over talking me and talking for extended lengths of time. He told me I was talking down to him and being disrespectful, he then put his earbuds in to end the conversation.
After a few mins he takes the earbuds out to try telling me something, I told him I wasn’t listening since he decided to be rude and end the conversation the way he did. He then proceeds to text all of the vendors we’ve been working with this message-
“Good evening, XXXX!!! Hey I’m going to be tied up with some other projects the upcoming weeks and I will not be able to be involved that much with the pool nor decisions. Please run everything thru XXXX.
Her best contact is her cell phone. XXX-XXX-XXXX.”
Like WTH, I don’t think he realizes how much he talks nor how repetitive he is. It’s truly exhausting sometimes. AITA? | AITA for telling my husband (who has untreated ADHD) my frustration with the way he communicates? | NTA |
10ximsg | Hi everyone! My best friend, Anthony is getting married next year. He has asked me to be his best man few days ago as he does not have a brother. Of course I accepted it gracefully, and I wanted to be there for him. His Fiancee, Melissa has a disabled brother, Caleb who is special needs. Caleb is going to be the groomsman. Anthony has told me that he has apparently spoken to Melissa and her parents about this, and they agreed that it would be a safer option if Caleb was the groomsman as he may not be able to take on so much pressure.I have met Caleb and I love him. I feel guilty that Anthony asked me over Caleb as Caleb and Anthony has such a very close and a beautiful bond and plus, Caleb may have been dreaming of being someone's best man, and he was not even in the wedding party for Melissa's sister, Pam's wedding.I want to ask Anthony to make Caleb and I co-best mans. I feel like it is the right thing as it will strength the bond between Caleb and Anthony even more while keeping everyone happy. It feels just right to have Caleb be an even bigger part as they will be future brother-in-laws. I have spoken to Melissa's other sister, Pam, and Pam loves the idea, but she said it would be better if I was because Caleb will not be able to handle majority of the duties, and it may add onto to the pressure and make him overwhelmed. I told Pam that it is why I will be there right beside Caleb all the way, and so will Anthony. And if any issue happen, I can happily take over or help Caleb if necessary and so can Anthony. Pam also said that it was unlikely that the idea will even happen because it was agreed upon by everyone.so WIBTA if I asked Anthony to change the best man position and make Caleb and I co-best man? | WIBTA if I asked the groom to change his best man? | YTA |
10xo8ds | My family and I live in a small island community, much like a small town. Everyone knows and helps each other, no one keeps their doors locked, etc. My husband and I moved here when our children were just 1 & 3, so this is the only community they’ve ever really known. We’re pretty remote, and so we rarely get tourists or other outsiders come in out. My children now 13F and 15M, have grown up pretty accustomed to not having to deal with other people. My son has always been very own and extroverted, and never shy about his body. Since he was little, whenever he’s at any of the beaches on the island, he won’t be wearing anything, including a swimsuit. My husband and I never discouraged this, we didn’t want to raise him to be anxious about his own body. We expected it would stop, but it never really did.Recently a new couple moved in, and this summer while they were busting the beach they saw my son. He was swimming alter playing badminton with two of his friends. They looked around with some disgust and later they came over to us and asked if they knew who his parents were. When I asked why, the woman said “he looks like he’s being neglected.” When I told him that WE were his parents and explained why we aren’t bothered they nearly fell over with contempt. The man started to go in a tangent about how it’s inappropriate to “be like that in public” and that I was “lessening the community”. I tried to assure these people that everything was perfectly fine and any bad behaviour would be known, but they gave us the complete cold shoulder. One time, while my son was out surfing, he came back to his towel to find a swimsuit with the tag still on it for him. The next time they saw me tried AGAIN to convince me to mandate suit-wearing, but I just walked away. The whole thing just reeks of pretentiousness and a holy-than-thou attitude. But am I really doing something wrong? Am I endangering him by letting him go about like that? Is the rest of the community bothered by this? | AITA for not making my son wear a swimsuit? | YTA |
10xhobo | I’m supposed to attend a wedding in Asia (14 hour flight) next week. It’s my girlfriends best friend- she’s the maid of honor. My elderly father unexpectedly needs to have heart surgery while I’ll be away and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him. AITA for dropping out and asking my GF to go alone? She doesn’t feel totally comfortable traveling alone- and has hinted she would be embarrassed to be there alone not as a couple | AITA- Can’t attend destination wedding with girlfriend, elderly father needs surgery | NTA |
10xk97d | Since maybe two weeks ago my (27m) long distance girlfriend (23F) has been sending me tiktoks and memes about how "Even though we are dating, you still need to ask me to be your valentine" or "Who's your valentine? I don't know I haven't been asked yet" things along those lines. After the first video I replied jokingly "Oh yeah? Is that how it works? :P" as well as something along those lines each time she sends me another one. Anyway today she blew up at me after still not having been asked. After I replied to her new TikTok with "Please stop asking". Am I misunderstanding when you should ask someone to be your valentine? I had planned to have flowers delivered to her work on Valentines Day. But she insists that I am being mean and not taking her feelings into consideration. I find this whole debacle to be trivial and annoying. So AITA? | AITA for not asking my girlfriend to be my valentine even though it's not yet valentine's day? | NTA |
10xeg3f | I (25 f) met my good friend (25 f) and her fiancé a little over a year ago. When the four of us first started hanging out I was already engaged to my current husband (25 m). We got along great and seemed to agree on everything. We shared similar interests, and spent the summer having bonfires in their backyard. After some time we naturally started to hang out with them less. Our adult lives became busy and we moved. I was busy planning my wedding and my husband works long hours. It was time for me to pick my bridesmaids, and since I don’t have a large circle of friends, I asked my friend if she wanted to be a part of our wedding as a bridesmaid. Now, let me just say that I am the furthest thing from a “bridezilla”. I wanted my wedding to be extremely small and casual. I didn’t want my bridal party to spend any extra money, so I told them what color I wanted for their dresses but that was it. They could get any type of black dress that they wanted.I found it odd when I was planning my bachelorette party, my friend told me that she would be unavailable the weekend I had planned. Well, as it turns out, my friend told me that she planned the entire thing herself, and bought a cheap ring online. Then she basically just told her partner to help her set everything and propose for the cameras. I was a little shocked at that, especially since they had confided in us about their financial struggles and having trouble finding stable jobs. I should probably note that my wedding was a gift from my parents, so my husband and I didn’t have to pay for anything ourselves. And if we didn’t have my parents financial support, then we would have waited until we were ready. That’s when my friend asked me if I would be a bridesmaid. I said yes, thinking she was going to be a chill bride like me. Especially because she bragged about finding such a cheap wedding dress online.Wrong. She informed me that her wedding date would be less that 6 months away. She’s asked her bridesmaids to purchase a $120 dress from a different country and she expects us to pay her stylist for hair and makeup so we can all look the same, (I’d like to point out that I am black with thick curly hair, and everyone else, including my friend, is white). She’s also expecting free labor out of us for the set up and take down because she can’t afford to hire help. She spent her entire budget on the photographer that I had at my wedding, and her venue. The venue is about 45 minutes away and she wants us to spend the night and pay for a hotel which would be another $350. There will be no alcoholic drinks served at the wedding, just a buffet for dinner, so she wants us to go to a bar afterwards where we would have to pay for our own drinks. My husband and I are living paycheck to paycheck. I’d be okay if the wedding was a year or two out, then I’d have time to save and prepare. But this all feels very rushed. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding? | NTA |
10xif72 | So as it says I was spending Christmas at my sister's house in Rochester NY flew in from Toronto nice big house, and when I arrived we did not discuss sleeping arraignments. Her in-laws drove up from Texas in a big RV, so getting late we start talking about sleeping arrangements I told my sister don't worry about me got a deal with my flight for a hotel included, she said we have a room ready for you. I said its ok the house will be packed with 10 people even with the in-laws in the RV I'll get here early in the morning. Keep in mind the room she is offering is the den and the bed is an old couch and having to wait after 9 people to take a shower is not ideal and not for a good night's sleep. I got a full bed and my own shower also she wont let people use wifi. So am I the asshole for staying in a hotel getting a full bed a nice hot shower. I was talking to my other sisters they said I wish I had gotten a hotel. I got back the next day sister was pretty upset I stayed in a hotel she was arguing with her husband about it everyone heard it. | AITA for staying in a Hotel | NTA |
10xmfhh | My partner and I went into a small zero waste store where they sell bulk liquids. They state you can bring your own container or buy one of their reusable containers. They also had a bin full of free (previously used) containers with a sign saying ‘free’.My partner asked if they could take a couple jars. The person running the store (owner’s sibling) said of course, and then followed up with: “will you use them to fill up something?” My partner responded with “I’m not sure yet, but I’ve been needing some jars since they place we’re staying at doesn’t have any.”I thought it was wrong to take the jars without purchasing anything, and felt awkward. So I said to my partner that we should fill something up. I took one of the jars and filled it up, and took the other one and put it back in the bin. After checking out and stepping outside, I stated more explicitly why I felt it was wrong, and my partner said I should have said all that in the store. However I felt it would have been rude and embarrassing for mg partner to have such a conversation in front of the employee. My partner was upset because they believed that a zero waste store would be happy to give reusable containers for free to promote zero waste, regardless if the customer made any purchases. They also were upset I filled the jar with something since they had other plans for it at home. I felt that the store was only giving free jars to promote zero waste to new customers who didn’t yet have any containers but wanted to buy bulk liquid. AITA for stopping my partner from taking free jars without making a purchase? | AITA for stopping my partner from taking free jars | NTA |
10xmdlb | I’m a senior in high school attending a small private school of roughly 200 kids Kindergarten to 12th grade. My own class is made up of only 15 students. I am used to being the butt of most jokes my class can formulate, and I have learned to embrace it through my high school years. There is one girl in particular who makes no mistake ensuring I realize how distasteful I am to her. She is usually kept contained by her friends but one day they were both absent and she simply couldn’t stop herself. I finally got fed up with this behavior (which doesn’t happen often). She also had a tendency to tell everyone about her bad grades for pity. So, when she was going on about how stupid I was, I responded with “You want to talk about stupid?” And brought up her grades which were considerably lower than mine. She put on an offended face and got very upset with me, so, AITA? | AITA for being fed up with this girl?? | NTA |
10xlcjp | I’m getting married in a few months to my fiancé. We’ve always agreed that we never wanted small children at our wedding. Mostly out of fear of them causing trouble, crying during the ceremony, etc. My sister had my niece almost a year ago now. I love her to death - she’s the sweetest. She’ll be about a year and a half by the time the wedding comes around. I told my fiancé that I was thinking of inviting her to the wedding and she wasn’t happy. I get where she’s coming from- she’s stressed about me changing my mind and willingness to invite a child to the wedding. I argued that she’s different and that family is family. Ultimately, I’m sticking with the child-free wedding. We’re telling all of our other guests they can’t bring their young children. As much as I want my niece there, I feel as if it’s only fair to exclude all children. I’m not expecting my sister to just get a babysitter and be fine with this. I wouldn’t even be offended (it’d hurt for sure) if she told me she couldn’t attend. I haven’t told my family yet, but things like that don’t often go well. They’ll feel excluded and I know my parents will stand against me. So - AITA for excluding my year and a half old niece from my child-free wedding? | AITA for excluding my young niece from my child-free wedding? | NTA |
10xgbmj | I (16f) know I am incredibly lucky and I really don't want to seem ungrateful. I was in the foster care system for a few years when I was younger and then I got adopted into a great family that has been nothing but supportive and so nice to me. I call them my mom and dad, and my sister (16 f). We'll call her Lucy. I've been with their family for about seven years now, and I again am so grateful for what they've given me, for treating me like their own kid. I know they love me and just writing this makes me feel so guilty for even thinking to say that I just don't feel like I belong there, but I don't want to lie to them. This has become an issue for me because of my neighbor (20 something m). I'll call him John. I met him about a year ago, when my sister and I helped him move in since our parents said helping would be the neighborly thing. I'm a very big reader, and my sister that John had similar books to what I have. He ended up loaning me a few books, and we chatted about them and became friends. He has a much bigger collection than I do, and he buys new ones a lot, so I started going over to his house to browse, and I started to spend more time there reading and doing homework. One day I was sitting in a big comfy armchair, quietly reading while he was cooking dinner in his kitchen and I realized that I felt "at home." Like an "Oh" moment.I really don't want to say that my house isn't "home", but its so loud and they're always so busy. Lucy is really popular and has tons of friends and does a bunch of afterschool activities, so we're always running around, dinner is really late sometimes, and there are usually guests. My parents are the same, they have work friends over often, and they like to do group activities. Hikes, watching movies together, board games, weekend vacations, that sort of thing. Its just a lot for me since I'm pretty introverted. I like spending time with them, and I don't think they've done anything wrong, but I've never felt like I fit in. They don't make me participate, and they let me stay in my room if I want, but I feel bad turning them down.I've been spending a lot of time at John's lately and my mom and dad started asking about why I was there so much, and why I had missed a few family dinners and activities. Had something happened between Lucy and I? Had they done something? I wasn't able to really tell them a good answer and I think they got worried because the next day John said that my parents had come over to ask some questions. He told me that he told them the truth about me just reading and doing homework and that he had suggested that maybe I found the quiet space a good place to study or read without a lot of distractions. None of them know that its really because I feel more right there, if that makes any sense. Am I wrong to tell them all this? How should I? I really don't want to seem ungrateful for what they've given me and I don't want to hurt them. What do I do? | AITA for telling my adoptive parents I've never really felt like part of the family? | NTA |
10xk6h1 | I (29f) got married September of ‘22 after about a year and a couple months of dating my, now husband (27m). A couple months before we got married he brought up wanting to his parents (60m &62f) to move in with us once his dad retires. I wasn’t super thrilled about it, but conceded with the very clear statement that it would be 5-10 years down the line. I said I wanted to enjoy our new married life, new house and our baby (10 months). Cut to now, he comes home after being at his parents, after work. He says he just spoke to his dad and discouraged his dad from buying a house as it is a bad idea since he’ll retire before he can pay off house and would possibly leave debt to his sisters and him. So solution would be for parents to move in one of siblings home, he offered to get our basement finished (need to add bathroom) and they can move in with us. I was like wait up, we said 5-10 years down the line. Why did this change? And no, I don’t agree with you giving that option without discussing it with me. He now thinks I’m the AH and am against everything related to his parents. I may be the asshole because of his reaction to my no answer. But I feel these are convos between a marriage before being brought to outside people. He said he’d go back to his parents to tell them “I said no” to them moving with us. AITA? | AITA for not wanting in laws to live in with us | NTA |
10xkqfm | I (26F) have been living in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment since April 2021. Everyone pays for their own rooms and then we spilt the internet and electric bills 5 ways. I became in charge of the electric bill in February 2021 then the internet bill in April 2022. Every month when I get a bill I put it in the group chat and tell them how much it is each and then I list what everyone still needs to pay. This happens twice a month.My current roommates are Jada (28F), Daniela (26F), Amaya (20F), Jasmine (20F). When Jada moved, she immediately got behind on paying her part of the electric bill and would go months without paying. She eventually pays but then immediately gets behind again. When Amaya moved in, she paid like the first two months and then stopped. At first Jasmine was good on payments but then she started falling behind. Then I let Jasmine borrow $100 in November 2022. At this time she owed me $80 towards her part of the internet and electric bills. We agreed on a payment plan of $40 every other week. But she has only paid me $40 twice since. I changed the wifi password last month to get Amaya to pay her part in the internet bill since she hadn't paid me anything since July. I told she can get it when she pays her internet bill, she sent me the money which was $119.Then on Friday when I texted the electric bill I also said that I am not paying anymore bills until everyone pays what they owe including the current bill. Only Jada replied and said that's fine. Then on Tuesday I texted the internet bill and reiterated that I am not paying anymore bills until everyone pays what they owe including current bills. Jasmine asked if I am not going to pay the bills even if I get the payments for just this month. I said yes. She said that is unreasonable and impossible for some of us to do and that she is only going to try pay for this month and continue payment plan that was discussed before I yelled at her (last month, she asked to use the bag clips that were on my salad bags and I snapped and yelled “those are my bag clips.” I didn’t apologize and we haven’t spoken since. I know I was an asshole for yelling). I replied that I don't think I am being unreasonable and I have been more than nice about letting everyone pay late but it needs to come to an end and the payment plan wasn't working since she has only paid me twice since November and she is supposed to pay every other week. She replied that she is really struggling financially and that at least she tried to pay me and since I know this information why would I choose to do what I'm doing. I replied back that I’m asking everyone to pay not just her and if everyone doesn't like it then someone can volunteer to pay the bills and accept late payments. She did not reply and nobody else said anything.As of right now Amaya owes $158 in back payments, Jada owes $105 in back payments, and Jasmine owes $162 in back payments. For this month every owes $26 for the electric and $18 for the internet. | AITA for asking my roommates to pay their parts of the electric and internet bills? | NTA |
10xgnxj | I recently posted this in a different sub and got a comment basically stating that I’m irrational and need to be more tolerant of my neighbors. Weird NeighborsI recently moved into a new apartment. It is on the first floor of a beautiful 2 family house and it is a huge upgrade from the place I moved from. With that, I pay a good amount of money to live here. It’s tough but I make enough to at least cover the rent and bills. There is one other tenant on the second floor. I haven’t had too many interactions with them besides the “hello” we give in passing. No real introduction or anything really. But, they seem really nice when I do see them. The issue I have is that they keep the door to their apartment open. Because of this, the front door to the building is always locked so when packages are delivered, the delivery driver cannot put them in the vestibule, leaving them vulnerable to be stolen by porch pirates which are prominent in the neighborhood. There was a few times I got a call from my landlord asking me to turn up my heat to 76 because the upstairs neighbor’s apartment was cold. (Heat is included in the rent) but my apartment would get boiling hot but feel if they would just shut their door, the heat wouldn’t escape? And my biggest issue with them keeping the door open is that they turn off the lights in the common hallway. It is PITCH BLACK without the lights on. I wake up early for work and cannot see a thing when I come in or out of the house. I went along with this for a while because I was the new tenant in the building, but this is really starting to bother me. I will sometimes turn on the light to see where I’m going just to take my garbage out only to come back 30 seconds later to unlock three doors in the pitch black. I also feel that I cannot have a private conversation with my fiancé in the living room because the sound will go right up the stairs into their open door. The landlord knows they keep their door open because he mentioned to me to make sure the front door is locked because they like to keep theirs open. As I said earlier, I was willing to put up with it in the beginning but realized that WE also live here and pay a lot of money to live here. It is not their house so I shouldn’t have to adjust to living in the dark and lowering my voice because they want to keep their door open. I am very frustrated. | AITA for feeling fed up and frustrated with my upstairs neighbors? | NTA |
10x7l0t | Some back info: Me (30F) and husband. (31M) live four hours from my BIL (34M) and his wife (32F). We see each other three or four times a year and our relationship has been that way since I began dating my husband when I was 22. We have been married for 6 years. MIL and FIL live in the same city as we do. SIL and I do not have mutual friends except for old family friends of my husbands. Even then, they are acquaintances. My MIL is an only child and my FIL has one sibling with one child, so extended family is small. SIL has a career but joined a travel agency to make cash on the side. She has done this for 6 months now. I stay at home with our 2 year old. She had open heart surgery shortly after birth and has required many surgeries in her little life. I am happy to care for her but I have down time and miss contributing financially although my husband has never pressured me. I thought about joining a different travel agency because it seems flexible. There are too many remote positions that I am not able to dedicate time to, like clocking in and working from a computer from 9-5. Travel agency seemed like something feasible. I brought it up to my MIL the last time she visited and did not respond positively. She was very upset and said I would be stepping on SIL’s toes, since she became a travel agent first. She reminded me that SIL gets her feelings hurt easily which is true. I told MIL that SIL works full time and does this on the side, whereas I would be working on this every day. We don’t live in the same city so there shouldn’t be big competition. She asked me “What is the family going to do? You’re going to force us to pick between the two of you.” MIL told me if I wanted to work from home, there were plenty of options. She went on to list several MLMs. My husband told me to ignore his mother and that he supports me. But I am hesitant to start family drama. So WIBTA if I continued down this path? | WIBTA for joining my SIL’s line of work? | NTA |
10xcp4g | ​So I work full time, go to school full time and last year I started a small online reselling business.Two years ago, I started doing house/petsitting as a side hustle to make more money. My fiance and I consider this our money because he comes with me to help house/petsit. Last October I also started a small online reselling business. I buy all the inventory and most of the supplies, but I am using an old ebay account of my Fiancé’s because his account is established and has good reviews etc. the business has actually been fairly successful. I sometimes ask my Fiance to package an order or buy packing supplies, but the vast majority of the effort is mine and all of the initial inventory investment was mine. I am approaching point in the business where it is going to be profitable (finally) and today I asked my fiancé to package up 2 orders. He calls me 10 min later and says that he did it then says that “we should really make a separate account for the business so we can see the money that’s coming and going” I said that I wanted it to keep going into my checking at least until my investment is paid off. He said that ”He thinks my investment is probably already paid off and that it’s our money so we should both know what’s going on with it”. I was purposely silent. He said “Do you not think it’s our money? I think of my money as your money” I said that I was the one who bought the inventory, so I consider it more of my money. He said that he “works for it too” and that he “just got done making an order for me” so I asked him if he wanted me to pay him hourly and he hung up the phone.He called back a few minutes later and said that even if I don’t think we should share money just because we are engaged that he puts in extra work for the work I take on so it should be our money. His examples are that the housesitting displaces him from our apartment and the animal sitting adds stress to his life, I am always busy with school and work and the business so he doesn’t get enough time with me and that it hurts his feelings that I would think our money is separate. He says that I drag him around on all the side hustles and that my stress is his stress. He also says that I’m only able to put away as much money as I am because he helps out with the expenses, and that if he wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be able to take on so much. I saw that he googled “How to handle your girlfriend making more money that you” once too so I know it bothers him but I don’t feel like I have any choice really. I want to save money for our future and I feel like to do that I need to always have multiple sources of income.To his credit he is always willing to help me out and is very supportive.I didn’t want to offend him with the “I can pay you hourly” comment but I feel like it's fair to be completely honest.. AITA? | AITA for offering to pay my fiancé hourly instead of splitting the profits from my side hustles? | YTA |
10xlb2k | I (19m) live with my parents. I have a 1 year old daughter who lives with me as well. I live in the city and can’t really move far due to custody agreements so it has been impossible to afford a city apartment/duplex as well as my daughter and insurance all that fun stuff. It’s just not possible. I make 2200 a month. I usually spend 90% of my free time taking care of my daughter and the other 10% working due to no babysitters/baby mother not doing her part. So I can’t work until my parents get home to watch my kid. This leads to almost 0 minutes of alone time/relaxation. My daughter is gone for a week to visit her moms family across the country. I barely get any sleep and I only have one day off while she’s gone which was today. I took a nap and was woken up to my parents remodeling the house because they’re selling it. I said “are you serious” and they said “this is the only time we have time to get work done on the house”. (They work for theirselves. They can take the day off whenever they want)I’m home until 4pm everyday. They have plenty of time to come home and work on the house while I’m watching my daughter. But they only take the days off while she’s on vacation. Leaving my only day off, as well as my mornings before work to be filled with remodeling and loud noises. (I HAVE MISOPHONIA AND THEY KNOW IT) I argued that I just can’t leave work whenever. And I never get time to myself. And they’re using my daughter being gone to get stuff done while I don’t get to catch up on sleep/self care because of the house being torn up and constant noises. They said I’m being selfish. Once again I said it’s my daughter and she’s gone and I don’t even get to do my shit? Just you guys? My baby mama gets a vacation to Florida as she calls it and my parents get to take all of this time from work, but I get no days off or quiet time or alone time? They said “sleep somewhere else” or “this is the only time we have” when it’s technically not!!!! I ACTUALLY don’t have a single second to myself and they’re acting as if they deserve this more than I do which is honestly devastating and I’m astonished that they’re even acting this way with his hard I work everyday. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep man. I understand it’s their house but I feel like they should at least cut me a little slack and realize I never get to relax | AITA for arguing with my parents for waking me up in their house? | YTA |
10xpafx | So long story short I 35m and basically been no contact with my dad since I was like 22, he will text every now and then which I will normally just ignore.He has been seeing his new “girlfriend” about a year and a half now and for whatever reason decides to show up for once to his grandsons first birthday (my sisters kid, not mine). He brought his girlfriend with him to introduce to the family.Now I am a smoker as is she (bad habit I know) so I announced was going to be outside for a few minutes and she followed suit. We got to talking and she asked why myself and my sister don’t talk to my dad or ever reach out. I told her exactly why. When we were kids my dad would either be at work, or golfing and basically left our mother to raise us. He makes good money (150k a year now at the time now even more). I had to delay college until I was 25 because I was considered a dependent and FAFSA for students loan purposes goes off your parents income so I qualified for 0 loans and my dad offered 0 help. So I got a job after high school and moved out, supported myself until I was 18 and went back to college at 25. I graduated with debt but it’s manageable, I told her at no point has he ever offered any support to myself or my sister emotionally or finallancialy and that he was a cheapskate that cares more about himself than his own family.Now to my surprise she had already started noticing these characteristics of my father and hearing what I had to say just confirmed everything for her. They broke up a few days later after she called him a deadbeat dad and a cheapskate.My father has been blowing up my phone calling me an entitled asshole and saying I was an adult and should have been capable of doing it on my own (which I did, at 18, with no help). He said I had no right to say that and I told him maybe if he had been a father I wouldn’t have the need to. AITA for airing out my grievances to my dads now ex girlfriend? | AITA the first telling my dads GF why we don’t talk, causing them to break up? | NTA |
10xmcvv | Friend came out for our other friend’s bachelor party but refused to do the main events. The bachelor requested only two events (golf and fishing) that he would like to do and our friend refused to do them. He said he gets seasick easily and doesn’t play golf. But we had plenty of other people who get seasick (they take dramamine) and were playing golf for the first time. I worked hard to plan these events for the bachelor party and asked him to at least come to one of the events. He refused and I screamed and called him a bad friend and an asshole. This friend got angry and starting screaming and kicking the hotel doors. My other friends had to calm him down and he said I wasn’t respecting him or his time. He decided to fly home the night instead of being there for the rest of the trip. Now I feel guilty and want to know if I’m the asshole in this situation. | AITA for calling my friend out for ditching bachelor party events? | ESH |
10xk1ff | I 21F don't want to live with any of my family members anymore, mom, brother, stepdad. I have some things I strongly dislike about living with my brother or stepdad, I don't really care what they would say in case they had any opinion about it. But my mom is like my best friend, and I do care about her, but she is also overbearing I think, I want to start planning to move on my own in a few months, as I now am I able to do it.But she repeatedly says "no" whenever I am just talking about my desire of doing so, (not consulting nor asking her) she says that would be "abandoning" my family, that it will devastate her as I'll be leaving her alone and lonely, and that I'll be alone (she sees it as a bad thing but I see it as a good thing). But is in the same state, an 1 hour or so away from her, I would visit a day per week and probably text/talk everyday. She still doesn't like it. She comes from a culture where kids never really leave their parents house, grandparents live in the same house with their grandkids, or they usually live on the house next to their parents house, or build a second floor when the family grows. That is her ideal situation, waiting to when we can buy two houses next to each other so I can live next to her. I however want more privacy and my feel like I have my own space. I want to chase my own goals, but also don't want to feel responsible for how my mom feels as a result. I think it is not unreasonable for me to want this but she sees it as me not caring about family bonds. | WIBTA if I move out and "abandon my family" | NTA |
10x49hp | I (20M) currently live with my parents and commute to university, because it's not too far. Even though I don't pay rent, I pitch in very often for bills and the like.My mum has wanted to do fostering for a very long time, which me and my twin sister were absolutely fine with. When my sister left to study abroad (she intends to come back, but is obviously staying in a foreign country for now), my mum saw that as the opportunity to go for it.She's signed up with an agency, and has gone through all the trainings and everything, making sure my dad is also informed of the important details.Now, when the agency are looking to place a child with my mum, is where the issue lies.My sister's old room is on the top floor, while mine and my parents are on the middle floor (kitchen, etc on the bottom floor). My parents want me to shift to her room, so they can be on the same level as a potential foster child.My issue is that I have spent years decorating my room, to what I like, and have meticulously put together a desk PC setup, that fits my room and its dimensions well. I have to move all that up, all while being inundated with classes and assignments, and I just dont think I want to, or can. My sister's room is bigger, but over the years, I've made this room into *my* room if that makes sense. Even then, i wouldnt be able to take everything up there, and it makes even less sense as they would want me to move back after a fostering term ends.My mum is throwing a hissy fit that I don't want to move rooms.AITA?Edit: Yeah, I'm probably the asshole here. I was blind before. I just wish I was given a bit more time, instead of doing it *right now* ive got like 4 assignments due in the next 2 days. | AITA for not wanting to switch rooms? | YTA |
10xe3s9 | "Joe" (27M) and I (25F) have been in a relationship for almost two years and have been living together for six months. Joe is a natural extrovert and makes friends very easily while I am an introvert and prefer small groups, we have never had a problem with it since we respect our spaces and although he goes out to parties without me, he is always very honest as to if someone has flirted with him and I've never had a problem with it, I'm not the jealous type and I know he tends to look like he's flirting even if he's just being nice (it's happened even when I'm around so I know he's not liying). I make this clear to show that there has never been any mistrust between us. It all begins when I started living with him and since we are seeing each other every day (we both work from home) things cooled down. I notice how close he is to his boss "Sarah" (30F), even though they are not talking about work, they are on calls almost all day, they even write to each other outside of work hours and he began to talk to me very often about her, things like: "Sarah gave me this tip for the garden" "Sarah really likes this videogame" "I recommended the restaurant we went to to Sarah" and although I tried not to be upset the truth is that there was no day that he didn't mention her, I started to feel a little insecure about it. A few months ago I opened up to him and gently told him how he made me feel when he talked to me so much about her.He laughed and told me that he just really liked her since they were the closest in age at work and being both team leaders, he felt more understood by her at work. I asked him if he could do it less and he told me he would try, but he felt that if he couldn't tell me about Sarah he felt there was no trust between us. Nothing changed despite telling him how I felt, he picks up his phone during meals (which he knows has always bothered me since it is the time we share outside of our studies) and then he would tell me "It's Sarah, she sent me a message", I don't say anything as I thought about what he said last time about trust. But yesterday I snapped, I had had a bad day at work, I wanted to talk to him and relax a bit and when during dinner (while we were talking about my work) he picked up his cellphone and told me: "It's Sarah, she sent me a photo of her dog ... look!" to which I said "I don't care about Sarah, I don't care about her fucking dog, I don't give a shit what she does", I never talk to him like that, there was an awkward silence and then he got up from the table and left, later he just says "Sorry" and we didn't speak again all night. I felt like shit and today I apologized to him and explained why It bothered me so much yesterday, he just said "Ok" but I know he's upset and he doesn't want to talk to me about it anymore. Still, i'm feeling guilty and like a jealous psychopath for talking to him like that about something he told me not to care about and that I've never really had reason to distrust, so AITA? | AITA for asking my boyfriend to not talk to me about his boss? | NTA |
10xn2fl | My gran 71F (on my mums side) is currently staying with us from overseas. Yesterday she got upset with my mum 52F and myself 19F because she believed we were both ignoring her over a rude comment she made about our cat. She started screaming at the both of us and becoming extremely aggressive. she told us to "fuck off" and "shut the fuck up" on multiple occasions. Became aggressive and raised the cup of boiling hot black tea she was holding as if to throw it on us. I eventually threatened to call the police.Neither mum or I swore at her the entire time. I was honestly in shock. (My dad 56M was at work when this happened). The next day my mum and gran had a conversation regarding the situation (which I listened in on). Gran completely played the victim saying stuff like: "I didn't like the way that turned out, this is not good for me", "your not going to have a mother anymore", "if you want to end our relationship over a cat", "I will just go to a hotel and then find my own way to the airport", "I truly dont care what you do with your cat if you want to let it ruin your furniture go ahead", "you get upset with everything I say, your too sensitive".I just want to clarify that not once during their conversation did my mum say she wants to end their relationship or say gran must go stay else where.(Gran has not apologised at all).Here is where I may be the AITA:After the conversation between my mum and gran. My mum, dad and gran all went out as if nothing happened. I am currently avoiding both my parents. Because I feel resentful towards my mum for not being a good role model and not making gran take more accountability for her actions. I am concerned about the type of impact this whole situation could of had on me if it had happened when I was younger and more impressionable. What does this teach me as a young women? Someone can swear and be aggressive towards me? Then they can play the victim and not take accountability for their actions but because they are family I should just let it go? I am not saying my mum should cut gran off. Everyone has their moments and if she was upset with us she could have easily had a conversation and communicated. Instead she treated us like that and then more so did not apologise. Regarding my dad. He takes swearing at each other very seriously, if I swore at him he would go ballistic. But in this situation he will not stand up for me and tell gran to apologise to me because its less convenient from him. Like I am your daughter. It hurts even more because I have a friend who stood up for me in a far less dire situation than this. But my own father wont do it over something he claims to take so seriously.I just feel resentful and angry towards both of them for not standing up for me (and herself) in this situation just to avoid conflict. AITA? | AITA for being resentful towards my parents for not holding my gran accountable after she was verbally abusive? | NTA |
10xe2zs | I have some blood problems, one of which is low iron and folic acid. I do take supplements and am careful with my diet, but if I've had a busy day and haven't eaten enough, or I'm on my period, sometimes my levels will drop quite drastically. This leads to pica cravings, sometimes clay but mostly chalk. I watch a lot of chalk crushing videos to help with the cravings, but they really make my mouth water. I have never indulged my pica before, but the other night I was particularly low on iron and a little turnt, and ended up buying some chalk off etsy. It's high quality, edible, belgorod chalk, and is often reccomended to people with pica as it is safe to eat. I haven't bought much of it at all, and have only tried a little crunch so far, and it's perfect for satiating extreme cravings. I understand it's a bit weird, but the way I see it, it's a tool to help me deal with an eating disorder. It's better than eating something harmful.My partner disagrees. I told him about the chalk and he said it was disgusting and sad. He said chalk is not a safe meal replacement (I'm not using it as a meal replacement nor trying to lose weight) and chastised me for having the cravings in the first place. I know craving chalk is bizarre and I understand I may be completely delusional here because I'm desensitised to videos of people eating chalk, however it is specifically edible chalk and I'm not doing myself any harm. Is it sad and weird to have bought the chalk? I know it's out of the ordinary, but AITA?Edit: yes I am in contact with a doctor, I finally got my blood test results back last week and have started on supplements. They are helping but don't work overnight, so I'm still getting some cravings occasionally. I eat a large amount of healthy whole food and work out regularly. | AITA for buying chalk? | NTA |
10x3fue | I (16) have been harassed by my sister (31) and mother (53) for the past few weeks to help her write a 10 page essay.I am in my last year of high school with 5 of my own assignments with deadlines this month. I agreed to help her correct her grammar since she never got proper education (she was expelled at 13 and nowhere else accepted her) but now she expects me to write her whole essay for her. She has to write an essay about one baking ingredient of her choice. She chose the least practical ingredient - not an allergen, doesn’t contain gluten… - because she thought it was funny. Now she’s bothering me because she doesn’t know anything about it, how to do research or write an essay.If she doesn’t pass this assignment she won’t be able to advance into the next year of college. I am currently ill with food poisoning, haven’t sat food tech in 5 years, and have never written an essay in the style required. We agreed that I will help her with grammar and expand anything to make it longer if she does her own research and writes what she is trying to convey. Mind this assignment is meant to be done by her alone and she could get removed from the class if it is found out that I am helping her. I am refusing to write this essay for her and my mums calling me ungrateful saying they would do anything for me, saying she just spent £100 on equipment to make me cake for my birthday - she was buying that equipment either way.Aita for not helping? | AITA for not helping my sister with her college assignment | NTA |
10wtw1p | So I (M) spent Christmas Eve at my boyfriend's aunt's house (hereafter, "hostess"). There's lot of food, buffet style. I got some salmon, sat down on a couch with bf. Took a bite, and see while the top is cooked, the bottom is raw. Bf said it was probably catered and that one salmon was just bad.I'm very nervous even being there because bf had been telling me his family didn't have a high opinion of me and this was a time for them to kick the tires, so to speak. Seeing the salmon made me even more nervous because what if not eating it made me seem like I'm insulting the hostess? I decide to cut up the salmon and move it all around the plate so it looked like I ate more than I did and the hostess wouldn't notice.She noticed. And it turns out it wasn't catered. Bf's other aunt (hereafter, "aunt") was asked to cook the salmon, and apparently likes sushi a lot so she undercooked it the way she liked it. Bf tells me this apparently caused a very big scandal. I was never told exactly what the scandal was by the family, or exactly why they think I was an asshole, though I imagine the hostess felt I was insulting her for wasting food at her house, and aunt felt me not eating her food was an insult to her cooking. The hostess afterward told me I should have given the food to her to microwave. I nervously stammer something idr what.I am told a month later by bf that his mom and her sisters still gossip about it. His mom has come around to me, I think, so I don't think *she* is saying mean things, but I am told aunt doesn't like me anymore.I stand by not eating it. It was out for more than 2 hours: aunt lived more than an hour from hostess's house, the food had been out at that house for at least 30 minutes-1hour, and I didn't notice condensation on the container so the salmon had been out long enough to cool to room temperature before being put in the container. Microwaving can't kill all the bacteria that can develop on raw food that has been out for hours. And I had gotten food poisoning from salmon sushi only a few weeks prior.I am wondering whether this was in poor taste, and I was the asshole for insulting aunt. She throws lots of nice parties so maybe I should have trusted she knew what she was doing and eaten it...AITA? | AITA for refusing to eat my bf's family member's food on Christmas Eve? | NTA |
10xca9z | For several months my sibling and I leased an apartment together, and we were supposed to split the bills 50/50. Early on the both of us ended up losing our jobs for different reasons, at the same time. After that we both got new jobs, but my sibling decided that this was their sign to move out of state. They asked if they could pay less on their side so they could save up for the move. Stupidly (in hindsight) I agreed to this.For 2 months they asked if I could cover the rent and bills, and they would pay me back for it. I did so with my savings. From here began a cycle of them paying about 25% of $1900 in bills, consistently trying to pay even less than that but I kept telling them thats not the amount we agreed upon. Several months in they hit me with a "Hey I'm moving out in 2 weeks, mind taking me off the lease?" I refused to take them off the lease, had to force them to pay any part of the bills for that month, and I had to hurriedly end the lease and move out since I couldn't afford a single month there on my own. I ended up owing a decent amount to the rental company. My sibling ALSO left almost all of their furniture and items in the apartment, rented out a storage unit and asked me to move their stuff into it AFTER they had left the state. I did, in fact, move their stuff into the storage unit.I am very much pissed with my sibling for what I feel is taking advantage of me for several months, with the excuse that they were saving money for the move (they didn't save any) and left me in a shitty situation. They even had the gall to be angry with me for ending the lease early, saying it would hurt their rental history and blamed me for being too poor to be able to afford the bills myself. They talked shit about it to the family, which did temporarily cause a schism within the family.My sibling keeps texting me for one thing: Their storage unit. Every time it rains, they ask me to check on it. Everytime it snows, they ask me to check on it. Everytime they ask, I simply ignore their texts. I'll check on their storage unit the second they pay me those 2 months of rent they never paid.AITA? Is this just all stupid drama? Or is my sibling a POS? | AITA for refusing to check on my siblings storage unit after they moved out | NTA |
10xi3ui | Ok so the title may be a little confusing but basically I was in class and one of the boys decided it would be a ‘fun prank’ to steal my unlocked phone which I thought was funny at first. But then he gave it to a whole bunch of his friends to look through. After that whole ordeal I couldn’t find it after a good 5 minutes and he wouldn’t tell me where it was so I started panicking and asked the teacher if someone may have turned it into her. He finally told me where my phone was(some dudes in the corner of the class were scrolling through my tiktoks) but he got pissed at me after and won’t talk to me saying that it was ‘friendly fun’ or whatever the fuckTl;dr boy stole my phone. I asked teacher if someone had it, he got mad and won’t talk to me | AITA for asking the teacher where my phone was | NTA |
10xi27t | Abby and I are both mid 30s and live together. Abby has what she refers to as severe social anxiety and generally does not leave the house, and certainly does not go to the store. She depends on me pretty much entirely for this these days.I went shopping and got myself some milk, two tv dinners for quick lunches, and some breakfast supplies for myself.I got home, and Abby asked if I went to the store and noted that I did not call to see if she wanted anything. I confirmed this. She accused me of "being manipulative with food." I noted money was tight for me (I basically spent what was available) and encouraged her to use curbside pickup (she currently has a usable vehicle, a rare thing these days).She mentioned manipulation again before taking what I bought to her area. Maybe she will bring it back. Maybe she will let me in when I want something. Maybe I will be locked away from the food I just bought (behind a door with a do not disturb sign she emphasized today)I feel like a bit of TA because a part of me is angry at how she treats me and her declining to let me claim her as a dependeny (I pay for all housing, most food, and she's "borrowed" lots). So yeah, my actions were a bit spiteful...EDIT!!!! So happy I found the edit function! Abby is my girlfriend. I own the home and we've lived her for over five years and been together for around a decade. Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the judgement! | AITA for being inconsiderate | NTA |
10xla9f | So my "partner" and I have been together for about 9 years. He used to vape pretty constantly but has been smoking cigarettes for about 2 years now. I've always hated him smoking/vaping, to the point where the sound his vape made when he inhaled made me physically cringe. I dislike him smoking cigarettes for a number of reasons, but I understand it's an addiction and he isn't motivated nor cares enough to quit. I have told him on numerous occasions that I wish he would quit because I've seen what it can do to the people I love, and he just responds with something rude or snarky. I have also come to the point where I have been telling him fine, smoke but please do not smoke before bed. The smell makes me sick to my stomach and makes me nauseous. He knows this. But he constantly smokes before bed anyway then gets moody when I ask him to shower or sleep in the living room. AITA ? | AITA for asking my "partner" not to smoke before bed | NTA |
10xfimt | Context: I love my husband more than anything. He's my highschool sweetheart. This year we'll have been together for 20 years. He is VERY mild mannered and never feels confident self-advocating, not even to me. I have to be careful when he just goes along with whatever I want that I don't allow myself to take advantage of his passive nature. If he has an objection to something I have to pry it out of him. (Nicely.)Now he's had this job for about 8 years. It's retail, and the company is DESPICABLE. I've begged him to look for a job that treats him better, but he gets very defensive and angry about it when I try. If I press, he turns into someone I barely recognize. But he hates it there? And they're working him to death. When he was assistant manager and hourly he would pull in megabucks working overtime until the company complained and made him stop, but they didn't stop there. They promoted him to general manager, which sounds good right? Except now he's on salary working 12-14 hour shifts every single day (literally EVERY day). He's never home. And now he's not getting paid for his overtime and they lowballed his salary into the center of the earth. He's NOT getting paid near enough for how hard and long he works. It makes me sick to see him used and abused like this. To be clear, I do not suspect he's really doing something else during this time like cheating. Like I said, we're 20 years strong and I constantly see his car there when I'm running errands. This is 100% me being sick that he just lets them walk all over him and doesn't demand money or more time off. But when I bring it up, it's ugly.TLDR; Husband works himself half to death for a low-ball salary and I want better for him but when I try to insist he's being mistreated he gets VERY defensive and makes it clear he's not going to leave the place.Should I just mind my business?Edited to add: 1. We do not have kids. He wants them though.2. I'm sensing a trend forming already and I accept the judgement of the Assembly. 😁 I am reading the comments including the constructive criticism of my actions with appreciation for your perspectives. | AITA for being angry thet my husband won't stand up for himself at work? | YTA |
10xl445 | First, me and my in-laws doesn't have a good relationship, I was emotionally and verbally abused by them when me and my husband live in their house for the first three years of our married life.FIL is abusive towards his wife, he is narcissistic, while MIL is enabler of the abuser. My husband grew up in a dysfunctional family. I'd also like to point out that I'm still in the process of healing, so I'm still avoiding seeing them unless there's a special family occasion.Sister in law from UK will come over to our place to visit us my husband next weekend, so I planned to invite my husband's parents to come over as well to our place.But this coming Saturday, it will be my Husband's birthday, and honestly I don't feel like inviting his parent's since I'll be seeing them next week, and tbh it's too much for me.Am I AH or too selfish to decide that for my husband? While he doesn't care at all, he didn't mention anything about his birthday, he only wants simple celebration with us. I thought it would be nice to invite his parents to his birthday to make him happy.So am I AH here for not wanting my husband's parents to come here on his birthday if we are going to see them anyway next week? | AITA - For not inviting my Husband's family on his birthday | NTA |
10xmh7y | Am I the asshole for not wanting to give my younger sister a role in my wedding?I (17F) am getting married in September later this year, and am currently trying to plan out the wedding. My fiancé has his best man and groomsmen chosen, I chose my best friend as my maid of honor and one other friend to be a bridesmaid. My Mom was kind enough to get dresses for my maid of honor and bridesmaid. I was looking at the dresses and they're the perfect colors and style, then my little sister (12) comes in the room flaunting a dress that looks just like my bridesmaids dress. My sister then walks around the room exclaiming that she is also going to be a bridesmaid, I don't know if I should have done this or not but I tried politely telling her that I had one maid and one that was my maid of honor. She blew up on me after I tried to be nice about it, "I'M YOUR SISTER, I SHOULD BE IN THE WEDDING" going on and on about it, once she ran out of breath I explained to her "...Lately you have been treating me very poorly and the fact that you feel entitled to a role in MY wedding is almost humorous. The fact of the matter is that just because you are family doesn't guarantee a role in something like this." My mom keeps telling me I need to give her a role in my wedding. This is not how I wanted my wedding. There was an argument about it between me and her. My sister and I have never really been close anyway, then there's the issue that she's super spoiled and used to getting what she wants. Usually I try to avoid situations that would cause her to flip her lid, which means I usually cave to her wants and wishes not only to avoid her tantrums but also to avoid an issue with my parents. This is the one time I've really stood my ground about something to them all, now they see this as being cold. It would be cold if me and her were closer, but we're not. There's not much of an emotional bond, I mean I love her but don't particularly like her. My fiancé is aware of how I feel about it, he didn't want to interfere with something like this. I feel kinda bad about it but then again this is the time where I have a say, or at least I'm supposed to have a say in who gets what role. | AITA for not wanting to give my sister a role in my wedding | NTA |
10x9cla | My family is very visibly white including my brother in question but we grew up in a predominantly low income African American community, and as such sound like it. I moved out years ago to go to college and had a major culture shock as I experienced problems related to the fact that, I, a very white man sounded "extremely black", as some of my new friends put it. Note this included terms and phrases that would probably be considered problematic for a white person to say (yes including slurs) but at the time I didnt know any better because thats just how everyone I was around talked. I eventually solved most if not all my problems by fixing my accent and vocabulary and started sounding more white.Recently my brother has done the same and moved out for college and he is experiencing a lot of the same problems at a different college for basically all the same reasons. While talking to him I told him the best way to solve the problem would be to "fix his accent" and he got angry and said he shouldnt have to change himself for me or anyone because that's just how he is, how he/we grew up, etc. I am having second thoughts about this advice but I hate for him to prolong the problems he will experience because of this issue because of his stubbornness so I stood my ground and doubled down on my advice. AITA for doing so? | AITA for telling my brother to "fix his accent" | NTA |
10xo517 | \*This is a throwaway accountI (16F) have a very strained relationship with my parents, they pressure me and yell at me all the time. My parents keep a fairly strict household meaning that as soon as school ends I am to come home immediately, and if I am late to the pick up area I will have to walk home myself. They believe that going out with friends is a luxury even if its on a walk, so i'm usually in my room. My schedule is pretty harsh which is packed with a bunch of extra curricular activities. A week ago my Mother decided that I had been using my phone way more often than I should, I use it mainly to keep up to date with homework. My parents insist that I should keep my phone outside my room while I work, which is understandable as I tend to get distracted easily.Yesterday night after coming home I just wanted to relax for a little while so I went on my phone. My mom came in and said that food was ready but I wasn't really hungry. After just eating some bread and getting to work my Mom barges in yelling how I haven't ate any food and therefore I don't care of myself.She then takes my phone and states that she wont be giving it back because I am not mature enough to have one (I earned the phone myself and payed my parents in full to purchase it for me). She tells me I have betrayed their trust in going outside my room to spend time on my phone now that they banned it inside. My Dad joined in and started complaining on how he and my mom work long hours to provide for the family and how after coming home they are really tired and want to just relax, and how i'm making it hard for them when I don't take care of myself.At this point I too have had a really tough day and I just wanted to get done with my work and go sleep. So I yelled at them on how I do take care of myself. They immediately got defensive and started denying everything they said saying and that they were really worried because I wasn't eating enough. I kept saying that I was fine and I grew more irritated by the second, it got to the point where they said I was also going to stop everything else I do until I got my act together and started listening.She threatened to speak to my school, and I completely lost it and I said a lot things that were really mean mostly on their parenting style, how overbearing they are, and how i've had to basically raise myself. My Mom said my hormones were acting up and just left with my dad ending the conversation.I haven't spoken a word to them since. They wont talk to me unless I make a fully outlined plan on how I was wrong and how I am going to fix myself. The same argument happens every week and this is my first time severely lashing out. This isn't the first time they have taken my phone away for a long time, the last time it was gone they only gave it back with strict regulations.So I want to know AITA for yelling at my parents? | AITA for yelling at my family? | NTA |
10xikyr | Okay, so I (18F) am adopted. I don’t have a real mother or father. I live with friends of my bio mother and I call them by familial names (for instance, I have a mother, grandma, and two sisters in my adoptive family). But I feel close to them like they are my real family. To make this short and sweet and cut out any unnecessary parts, I don’t like kids. I just don’t enjoy being around them, and they overstimulate me and just generally piss me off. I have respect for kids, because they are small humans, but I dislike being around them VERY much. I have felt this way since I was a kid. I never liked babies even as a little girl and this carried with me until adulthood. Both of my adoptive sisters have kids, no I don’t like them. I can tolerate the older one, because she is quiet, but the younger ones I hate being around. The youngest (M3) is a boy, and he is special needs. He is always bouncing off the walls, screaming, and often his sentences make no sense. His mother is not around, and his father is out of the picture completely, so the baby lives with me and my parents. This child (we will call him M) is NOT MINE so I see no reason why I should care for him. I ordered McDonalds (he likes McDonald’s) and got a bit of extra food for M, thinking I was being gracious. I gave him a bowl with his food and ate mine at the table. He finished his food and asked me for more, which obviously I said no, he isn’t my child and it isn’t my responsibility to feed him. He cried to my mother, and my mother who was on the phone with my other sister (not the mother of M) asked me to give him some. I said “I already gave him a bit.” She asked me to give him more. I say: “What? No. This is my money.”She flips her lid and tells my sister about it, and so my sister angrily messages me not even three seconds later about how rude I am. I respond “Seriously? I didn’t have to do anything for him. M isn’t my kid, anything I do for him is charitable. He isn’t my financial responsibility.” She tells me that I treat M like a charity case, and that he is my family and that our family took me in when I had nobody so I should do the same. I said that I understand but it isn’t really my problem and it comes down to making the decision in your own terms, I was never okay with M from the start, and he isn’t mine to spend money on, and that I have no care for him in the first place. AITA? | AITA for not feeding my nephew? | YTA |
10x2myb | This morning I took the bus to work like I normally do. When I got off, I realized my phone (with my ID and credit card) was still on my seat. It was too late and the bus had already started moving. I chased it for two blocks waving and trying to get the driver's attention to no avail. I honestly thought they may be intentionally ignoring me.​They got farther away and I couldn't catch up so I dashed to where the bus would make another stop a bit later. I got there right as the bus had started to leave again. Once again the driver didn't seem to see me so I decided to bang on the side of the bus. At this point, the bus was moving slowly and in retrospect I recognize this could have been dangerous. At the time, all I thought was that I really needed my phone and card, not knowing if I'd be able to get them back if they were lost especially because the busses in my city are ridden by many people who wouldn't think twice about taking someone's credit card and phone.​This time the driver did stop and I was able to get my phone but first the driver really let in to me, telling me how much I'd scared her, how I could have been hit and how I didn't have any right to bang on the bus just because I forgot something. I felt pretty bad and apologized but she was still fuming. I understand why she was upset. But still, what was I supposed to do? I can't afford to lose that stuff. | AITA for chasing a bus and banging on the window when I forgot my phone inside? | NTA |
10xkxm7 | I and my friend let’s call her sid have known each other for years. We are on our third year living together at college and things have been mostly smooth sailing until the last couple of months. For context we are both full time students and have jobs so we are on different schedules and frequently coming and going. Sid has started getting passive aggressive when I am doing things in our living room or kitchen, I am from a family where that’s used normally for studying, eating, being social etc. until the last person is asleep. Neither of us are party animals and neither are our 2 other roomies. I’m an introvert so I leave the house to take calls and almost never have company. The other night I got home from work and was doing homework silently (no music, no friends, no TV) around 10:30 and Sid said “that’s what you have a bedroom for” (she knows the wifi doesn’t usually reach upstairs) & that the small amount of light she could see through the bottom of the door made her unable to sleep. She has also said I make too much noise moving around in the mornings but she almost always is up before me & she will use the blender, make coffee etc. Tonight me and another roommate were chilling in the kitchen and she came out of her room yelling “do y’all have common sense” that we needed to go to our rooms despite it being before 10pm. She is the only confrontational one in the house so we didn’t really say anything.I am starting to think I should confront her but I may be at fault. Reason I may be an AH- she does frequently wake up early and I could be making her unable to sleep. I feel that as long as we are respectful she cannot dictate the use of shared spaces. Her mother also has recently had a cancer relapse so I could be adding stress to her very busy routines. | AITA Me (20F)and my roommate (20F) have been fighting over use of the common space in our apartment | NTA |
10xecdf | I (20F) am on a college campus that had a pipe break causing a town wide contamination emergency. Our campus was distributing cases of water for students to drink until the water is fixed. We got an emergency email telling us cases of water would be available for the taking. I grabbed one of the cases, planning to take half of the water for myself and the rest for the campus food pantry, which to my knowledge wasn’t being stocked. A lady in the res hall yelled at me and an email was sent out clarifying that we weren’t made to take a case, but rather only 3 bottles (which was not stated in the original email). I feel like a moron but at the same time, I wasn’t hoarding just trying to help the community. I do a lot of physical activity so I figured I would need more than 3. I wasn’t trying to hoarde but if I am the Ahole, I’d rather know so I don’t do anything like it again. | AITA for Taking a Free Case of Water during a water emergency? | NTA |
10xkuub | There’s a guy (20M) that had a crush on me (23F) and had been trying with me for 6 months but I had rejected him because of personal reasons I had. We were friends I’d say, we talked nearly everyday. Anyways my friend (26F) told him that I slept with my ex recently and that I had also started seeing someone new. Both which are true but I would’ve preferred him not to know. I know this information upset him and I felt guilty that he knows this now.My friend didn’t know that him and I had a ‘thing’ not sure what to call it. So I guess it wasn’t really her fault. But I’m upset that she just talks about my personal life without permission but she thinks that she’s free to talk about anything. | AITA for being angry that my friend told someone about my personal life | NTA |
10xnz2x | Hello Reddit I need your judgment ​Background, my cousin 12-year-old female attends a public school. About twice a year they hold a catalog fundraiser to help raise funds for after school activities. For those of you who aren't familiar on how a catalog fundraiser works, here's a overview. The school contracts a company to hand out catalogues to the students and it's up to the students to try to sell what's in the catalogs, the company splits part of the profit of what the students sell with the school. and to incentivize the kids they offer different tiers of “prizes”. think dollar store items or off branded electronics. One of the prizes is a trip to a local Arcade with added pizza party.​ This is the issue, as mentioned before the prizes are tiered. The more you sell the better your prize is. the Arcade party was a tier 20 prize “or the equivalent of $85 of catalog items” My cousin worked her little legs off selling to every single one of her neighbors, family, and relatives. but only managed to sell $45 worth of catalog items. Nothing in the catalog interested me, however being the fun older cousin I decided to write a check to cover the remaining amount so she could go with her friends to the arcade. My cousin was over the moon excited. so, I cut a check for $40 and I thought that was it.​About three weeks later by chance I was over at my aunt's house when my cousin came home from school bawling her eyes out, I called her teacher to see what happened. she informed me that because my cousin only did $45 in sales through the catalog she wasn't permitted to go on the trip. when I inquired about my $40 donation, she informed me it was received and was very much appreciated but because I didn't do it through the catalog it didn't count.​nowhere in the catalog or on the flyer that came with it was anything about the amount being reached solely through the catalog all it said was “donation tier list” not catalog item tier list or items sold tier list just X amount of domination equals price. after I got off the phone with the school my cousin filled me in on a few more details that only made me more made. turns out she was the only one who didn't end up going on the field trip everyone else in her grade had either made the tear or didn't bother coming in, and because of this they didn't have anyone to watch her so they put her and with the in-school suspension kids from the grade above. and to add insult to injury they ended up giving her the prize it from one of the lower tiers as “compensation” a cheap foam frisbee, a bag of colored pencils, and a tie-dye squishy ball.​I want to ask for a refund by some of my fiends/family do see the issue​So, Reddit given all that information AITA for wanting to request my $40 donation back?​(tlder) made donation for cousin could go on field trip school made her stay behind and now I thinking of asking for a refund | AITA For wanting my cousin school to refund my donation? | NTA |
10xfpe7 | For context I (30M) and my fiance (25F) just had our second baby 3 months ago. We also have a 1 year old daughter. My fiance's grandmother does come over now that I'm back at work during the day to help her with the kids. She did have some postpartum depression while I was on leave, but as soon as I went back to work it got really bad. She was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar 2, and was prescribed some heavy duty medication. We were told that she needed to have another adult at home with her (preferably me) for the first week on the new medication as it affects her ability to care for children. Shortly before my son was born my fiance also started an at home baking business. She is an amazing baker and is very passionate about it. Some of the folks I work with asked if she's taking any new orders right now. Considering her current mental state, how much stress she already has taking care of the two kids, and how I really can't take off more time from work I told them that she's booked up at this time.AITA? | AITA for not taking new orders for my fiance's baking business? | YTA |
10xm6kk | Hi Im posting cause I think I might be for feeling this way but I thought it couldn’t hurt to check. So me and my sister both took a history a test, I got an A and she got a B. My parents were all happy over her B but my A was only an after thought. The reason I feel like an A hole is because she worked hard (? Maybe not cause she’s always on her laptop and only studied last minute) for her grade while I’ve always just knew it. It makes me feel like an A hole and a spoiled brat because I wanted praise for something that should be expected of me since I’ve always been fond of history. So yeah, AITA? | AITA for feeling kinda bummed for not getting any praise? | NTA |
10xlrqw | I (18f) have 4 siblings, (T 29 M, C 26M, D 24 M, and R 19 M) R was adopted when he was 13. His biological parents decided they didn’t want a baby. The rest of us are biologically siblings. All 5 of us go/went to an arts school. The older boys for music, me for art and R is going for dance. I found out through some friends that R has been saying our parents have always treated him differently. This weekend R has a show, but my art show is the same day. A couple days ago our parents said they’d try to make it to his but they’re not totally sure if they could. He hung up on them and according to one of our friends locked himself in his dorm and wouldn’t talk to anyone.His “roommate” called me and said he’s still really upset and was hoping i could talk to him. I said he was just being sensitive and I hung up to call him. I let him vent for awhile, according to him mom and dad have always put everyone else first. He also said they were disappointed when he went for dance (they were but they got over it.) I said he was overreacting and needed to chill out. He hung up on me and blocked my number. Now I’m getting texts and calls from his roommate, S, and all our mutual friends saying I’m an Asshole, I’m a bitch, I’m selfish and I need to apologize. Mom, dad, T and C are on my side. So Aita? | AITA for telling my adopted brother he’s overreacting? | YTA |
10xgpr0 | I (29f) have a 10 year old daughter with my (32m) ex whom I share custody with. My daughter and I have always had a close bond until the age 6 when I noticed signs of ADHD. When I brought it up to my ex about seeking treatment for it he was hesitant but ultimately agreed. My suspicions were correct but her father didn’t agree and asked for a second opinion. I agreed to give him the peace of mind. The second opinion stated that my daughter didn’t have ADHD and was just attention seeking because of our separation. He like this answer much better I didn’t because we had been separated for around 5 years( she was 1 when we broke things off). Eventually we sought out a specialist and psychiatrist who both agreed she showed signs of ADHD. Over the years her behavior would go up and down; which is common for ADHD and trying to find the right treatment plan. She is now 10 years old and on the proper medication but over the years she’s become more defiant and hostile even towards me. She doesn’t have the best relationship with dad, but her and I have always had an open line of communication. I have 2 other children my youngest is on the spectrum and doesn’t like loud noises or confrontation. My daughter received a 2nd diagnosis of ODD and was recommended therapy. So far nothing has worked she grows more and more hostile, shows zero signs of remorse or empathy. I’m just at my breaking point, I don’t want to send her to live with her dad because she already has that bad relationship with him I don’t want to it worse. Plus he has threaten to have her committed (even though she’s never been physical with anyone), I know she needs more help than I can give her. I’ve looked into boarding school that specializes in troubled youth, I just want her to get the help she needs even if it’s a difficult choice. So AITA?Edit 1: I didn’t go looking into them myself because I just didn’t want to handle her anymore. The idea of boarding school was brought up after one of our latest family therapy session. Because she has grown more uncontrollable and has moved the behavior from home to school. Edit 2: Dad is a weekend dad who comes and goes as he pleases he’s made sure she knows that if she’s anything but the perfect child he is unwilling to be involved. He has brought her home early multiple times because he just couldn’t handle her “savage behavior”. He’s made it clear to her when she’s perfect she gets it from him but when she’s bad it’s because she’s like me and she knows how he feels about me. ( She has stated this in family therapy ) which he doesn’t even attend. | AITA for considering boarding school? | NTA |
10wummt | I have a 16 year old daughter. My mother passed away 2 years ago, leaving our daughter a great sum of money since she is the only grandchild. We were reluctant and to let her dig into it before she was 18 in fear she would not be responsible, but she convinced us after taking her drivers test to allow her to get a car. She had also started working a part time job to maintain insurance.Since then, my daughter has been fired from her job. She’s been sneaking out late at night and driving who knows where, or just leaving school early. We found vape pens and marijuanna cartridges. My wife specials as a therapist, and we are aware Of the important of mental health, we have tried communicating with her on and asking her if this could be a reason for her outburst, offering help, or even if she just wanted to talk to us. She straight up tells us it’s not that, she just gets “caught in the moment.” Along with that she’s been kicked out of her school and being sent to a disciplinary school.We obviously are deeply concerned, but since she’s been a teenager she has had disciplinary issues. My wife and I decided her punishment would be taking her keys. No more extra freedom of her own transportation. We’ve tried less drastic consequences in the past and none have phased her including revoking cellphone (she just finds a new one from her friends) and grounding her to her room.This keys situation though, made her go ballistic. She started screaming that we had no right, she paid for her car and it was in her name. I told she was a minor so we did infact have a right. She tried making an excuse about how now she couldn’t go to school, and we said we’d provide transportation. She’s very upset by this and told us she hates us, we don’t care about her, and has locked herself in her room.My wife and I are lost at what to do, but I don’t think we’re the ah. | AITA for taking my daughters key | NTA |
10xiqok | I am in college and currently in a core, capstone class for my program. (So it's a pretty important class.) We are doing a group project that's worth about 75% of our grade, and the first day of class me and 5 other people put a group together. The assignment isn't due until mid-April, but because its fairly large and super important, we were trying to get a head start.A few days later, someone else adds their name to our group via the google doc the professor sent out with all our group names. Not a huge deal as anyone could be in any group, but still kinda annoying. I reached out to her via Canvas (if you're unfamiliar, its what some schools use for assignments/grades) a few times asking for her phone # to add her to the group, and she never replied. I emailed her twice the following week, still no reply. My group and I spoke to the professor about our concerns with getting ahold of her and she had me email her again. If we didn't get a reply within 72 hours, we could remove her from the group. She didn't reply, so we emailed again letting her know she would be removed from the group per our professor's instructions. This was last week.Today, in our class whatsapp group, she randomly appears saying she hasn't been to class and asked what she was missing. Then, she private messaged me saying she was in my group and missed school because her mom had been in the hospital. She hadn't seen ANY of my messages and didn't know about them until I brought them up. My group wants to add her back because they feel bad about her situation, but I find it suspicious that she couldn't even check in once over multiple weeks and don't really believe the story about her mom being in the hospital. I feel like she's been slacking off, realized part 1 was due tomorrow (our group already submitted it!) and realized she should check in.So.. AITA for not believing her and not wanting to add her back? This assignment is super important and if we dont readd her she'll def be screwed over and have to do it on her own. | AITA for not letting someone rejoin the group project? | NTA |
10xcgtt | Okay I go to a school for people with autism , I'm obviously not gonna say where . But there's this boy who shall not be named. Anyway so today we had a class called zoo life and naturally i went into the classroom and sat down in my usual seat . All is well and good until he walks in.So he sees a Waterbottle on the table of the seat next to me and says " Can you move your water bottle " and it wasn't mine so I say " it isn't mine ." And then he gets annoyed and says " well who's is it then ?!" I got frustrated because I've had problems with this boy before so I calmly as possible said " I don't know but it isn't mind ." Although admittedly I sounded annoyed and salty when I said it .The teachers explained that another boy put his water bottle there to claim the seat and that they were still many seats to choose from. But he insisted on having that seat and wanted for the boy to come back from the bathroom to basically have him move the waterbottle so he could have the seat. ( At this point he had already decided the seat was gonna be his and was sitting in it .)So that matter was settled and class began . Now for some information, I am also autistic and for some reason I have a habit of shaking my legs alot even when I don't realize it . I don't think it's anxiety because I do it even when calm but that's not the point . I don't really have control over it . So suddenly the boy turns to me and said " Can you please stop shaking your legs " ( he already knew I was a leg shaker from the last time he sat next to me in class and didn't like my legs shaking but at that time I just ignored him when he said about it , partly because I couldn't understand because he was muttering ) but this time I heard him clearly and I was quite annoyed as well as frustrated so I said " I can't help shaking my legs . And I don't know why you would sit next to me if you didn't like me shaking my legs . That makes no sense. " He went quiet after that and seemed angry .The sense of him being angry made me nervous so I called a teacher over and explained the situation and what happened , and that I was feeling nervous he was going to get angry if shook my legs again . ( I've seen him get angry in the past with other people .) The teacher assured me it was okay and that I didn't need to worry about shaking my legs . So I just continued the rest of class and it went without issue.Basically I think I might be the asshole because I gave him a kind of salty response, didn't try harder to stop shaking my legs ( even tho I can't really control it , I could have at least tried ) , and for telling the teacher on him . | AITA for telling my autistic classmate that he didn't make sense and tattling on him to a teacher ? | NTA |
10wurzh | My boyfriend (M39) and I (F27) are living together and have a toddler. He never did his part as a father and never "helped" around the kid. After we started living together (Europe/Balkan) his mother came from the US to live with us. At first I thought she came to be with her grandson but it turned out she came to train me to cook and clean after her son. She claims that men don't do housework, and she constantly wanted to put me down whenever she could with passive-agressive comments (one of them was that my brain doesn't work and I should see a shrink because I was forgetting things in pregnancy due to hormones). I was always too good to all of them and I wanted to avoid fights so I just kept quiet for months.After the labour we had a huge fight basically she said it was my fault my son had an umbilical granuloma (what kind of a person would blame a woman that just went through the labour for something like that), then added I will be a terrible mother and destroy his life. Boyfriend was there and just kept quiet. Then her sisters and brothers came from different parts of Europe and they would all stay too long (for like 3 weeks) and acted as if it's their own house. I realized that no one respects me there, they kept waking up the baby, they expected me to cook for them and bla bla. I told them I won't, I told them I don't want them to be loud after 10 pm and I want them out of the room when I'm putting my, now, toddler to sleep and that my boyfriend NEEDS to work around the house as well and take care of his son otherwise I am leaving. Now they all act as if I'm the biggest asshole in the world, as of right now boyfriend who is about to turn 40 in May doesn't talk to me because of this. Am I the asshole here? | AITA for setting boundaries with boyfriend's family since he didn't | NTA |
10wv5w9 | My (21F) brother (19M) entered my room this morning at 7am and asked if he could borrow my airpods to take to work with him for the day because he doesnt have his own (not sure if he would have even asked had I not woken up, but he did ask nicely - at first). His reasoning was that he will be working in a factory all day and ill just be home not using them, and id be a bitch to not let him borrow them. (I have had a bad experience from letting my sister borrow a previous pair of airpods that i owned and she lost them, since then i splurged on some new expensive ones and I like to keep them on me and am very careful/possessive with them, I didnt like the idea of them being in someone elses ears, and the possibility of them getting wet/dropped unbeknownst to me).When he realised I would not change my mind after arguing, I saw him swiftly snatch them from my bedside table and walk out while muttering about how selfish and what a bitch I am. I followed him out and told him that I saw him take them and to give them back. He flat out lied to me and said he did not take them. I kept saying that I knew he had them and went to find them. I started searching the pockets of his clothes and then he took on an annoyed tone and said "I do not have time for this". At that point, I was very irritated with his lying and so raised my voice and said "no, *I* do not have time for this".Sure enough, I found them in his pocket and I took them back. However, at this point, my mum (who is always up at this time in the morning anyway) entered the room and immediately jumped on me for raising my voice and "causing a scene". This is a woman who has no qualms about yelling and ranting if something ticks her off and she's had a bad day. She angrily asked me "whats going on??" she said no words to my brother. I tried telling her about how he just took my things and lied to me (at this point I was really frustrated and so still had a bit of a raised voice but nothing crazy, she was also accusing me of just willy-nilly accusing my brother of taking my airpods "without any proof" which was a bit infuriating because she was not hearing me out, if she did she would know the fact was that he did take them) and she just aggressively said things to me like "why can't you help out and help your siblings?" "shut up the neighbours will hear you" "take control of your own life" "learn to hide things/put them away so that this does not happen" etc while waving her finger in my face. She turned to my brother and asked in a calm normal voice for him to ask me before borrowing something next time, to which he responded that he did and that was it. Nothing was mentioned about his disrespect or blatant lying towards me.I have also had issues in the past with my siblings constantly rummaging through my room and helping themselves to my things, and my mum's solution was always for me to just "hide things better". | AITA for yelling at my brother in the early morning over Airpods? | NTA |
10xmzsp | My (26F) BFF (26F) and I have been friends for 14 years…she means the world to me. I just don’t know who she is anymore. She’s genuinely someone I don’t recognize. She has NEVER agreed with any relationship I’ve ever been in, male or female, she has always picked them apart to the point I felt I could NEVER share with her. No one could ever treat me good enough. Fast forward 2021 she and her boyfriend break up and she is needing a roommate, we talk and talk and we move in together. There were some very ugly parts; controlling who I have over, when I have anyone over (even when I was home alone and she was at work,) my door must be kept shut bc she has cats and doesn’t give the cats the care they need to keep them from pottying everywhere, her clothes ALWAYS n both washer and dryer, NEVER takes out full trash or cleans up her dishes, I had to buy communal products (cleaning supplies, paper towels, trash bags, etc.,) how much space I took up in the kitchen despite having not adjusted ANYTHING of hers (I have the tiny ones above microwave and fridge.) Many cons. Pro- I got to have a space for my boyfriend and I to be together all night (when she was at work) after spending many nights in the car or in hotel rooms just to be close. She mentions him paying rent- I discuss it with boyfriend, he’s fine, we are all fine paying significantly less than most people for a roof over our heads. All bills split 3 ways. One bedroom, one bathroom, 2 tiny cabinets in the kitchen, some space under kitchen sink and some space on laundry room shelf. I mention it’s not fair, how we pay for 66% and have NO space. She has the master bedroom, 2 closets within, and all three closets throughout the apartment, majority of kitchen. I go on to mention this MULTIPLE times to which she ignores saying “I can’t do this right now.” Her door wide open all day, as she sleeps (3rd shift,) and I’ve mentioned how I feel like a prisoner in this room because I’m afraid to wake her. Last week she accused us of having sex in the middle of the day and how hard it was “sleeping next to a porno being shot next door” and how “we might as well be having a threesome” she slammed the door SO hard it woke us up (we were not having sex we were asleep) and it knocked photo frames and decor off our wall and broke. I can’t stand living in this box anymore under her rule. She expects immediate action taken when she has a “problem” but the problems she causes me are and have been effecting the quality of my life since I met her. Am I the asshole for giving up on my BFF of 14 years and moving out next month? I know she will not be able to afford this place without us. Any action I take to remedy the issues I have with her go ignored for months until I mention both of our needs in our home being unmet again and she explodes. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her.If anyone else treated me the way she has she would be livid. I do not feel like her friend anymore. I give up. | AITAH for giving up? | NTA |
10xp9u8 | So I'm an artist (selling on etsy and at conventions like furry/anime/comic). I started my art business in 2016 and after many years of struggling and "learning the ropes". Not everything you do sells and it takes time to develop a storefront.My business started as handmade plushies. These kind of plushies usually sell anywhere from 50$ usd to 200$ usd as they are completely handmade. As my audience grew, I also added patches (which dont sell as high or well but I love doing them) and enamel pins (which sell great and have a good mark up). I'd also love to design plush that's made in a factory in the future.I like to think I do pretty well. Usually at small conventions I come home with 800-1000$ PER DAY of the convention, so I cover all my expenses and come home with a chunk of cash. These conventions only usually have 500-2k attendance. Covid did slow my progress a bit, but I'm working on bouncing back over 2023, including hopefully doing some large shows, streamlining my art process, and expanding my enamel pin line.So the disagreement comes with a new boyfriend. We get along insanely well on most things. He's super supportive and wants to help me in the future (he worked at social media companies so I'd gladly accept his help with that), but he often brings up other things I should make. Some examples are making blizzard products because of the popularity, working with conventions on branded plushies (it'd have to be with a factory and this isn't something I've done yet), and other things that are super popular or "untapped market potential". I do some fandom stuff already, but only stuff I'm well knowledged in and can geek out with at my table.My brand is soft and cute. Think blues, pinks, cute kawaii faces, soft fabric. The kind of thing people fall in love with and have to have. I really don't feel like doing anything else - I already have my own ideas of expansion - and I've dug my heels in a bit everytime he suggests one of these other things, saying it's not something I'm passionate about. And that buyers will know this, as well as there being a huge risk if something doesn't sell.I don't want to say he's the asshole (he's just trying to be supportive), but it's upsetting to me. He says things like "actors do a movie they don't like to further their career, then one they don't like". Or that I could just make another brand work on at the same time, but my resources (money, time, mental capacity) are very limited. It also just hurts to be working so hard on what I love and be told I should do other things because they could sell really well.I just want to keep working on what I love. I hand grand plans to work towards already. Maybe it's just because I'm an artist and I'm too in love with what I do. But I see other brands that have done what I do and I want to go in that direction too (tasty peach studios, anxiety fox, mothmouse).Am I the asshole for sticking my feet in and saying that I don't want to do other things? | AITA for insisting I stay "on brand" with my art? | NTA |
10xmxxz | I'm in my 30s and haven't been doing great financially or emotionally. I've been crashing with my aging mother for the last almost 3 years. We don't have the best relationship. In fact she's always been rather smothering, and I felt that getting her approval and not being able to get independence until well into my 30s is largely her fault. She did what she wanted with her life including moving to a different country and bringing me along with her, which was fairly stressful and something that I don't think I should forgive her for. She's also extremely cold and possessive and pushy at the same time. Think tiger mom. Anyway, my emotions toward my mom at this point is just sadness, guilt and disgust for how much time I've wasted and how little she was willing to work with me to even let me cook for myself. Despite getting a degree and trying at a number of jobs, I haven't been able/willing to work the last couple of years. Unlike my workaholic sibling to which she always compares me to, My work track record has been average with working in year long stretches in IT gigs and sometimes lulling in unemployment for months and dealing with bouts of depression/severe anxiety and what seems to be ADHD and trying to hack it on my own, I ended up crawling back home.She's been pushing by holding an inheritance over my head and telling me how unsatisfied she was that my current job (service industry) was beneath me. Anyways, after her badgering for over a year and not supporting any of my attempts to gain skills such as giving me some space to learn to cook on my own etc (basically asking for a couple of hours a day of scheduled time to have kitchen to myself so I don't have someone over my shoulder), I figured I'll take the help, as my shitty work situation wasn't working out and even if this inheritance will come with strings I may be worth it to just bite my tounge. Low and behold somehow the inheritance vanished, she tried to invest the money somehow and probably fell for a scam. I know I'm basically the one at fault, but do I have a right to tell her that it's fucked up that she held this over my head for over a year, and tried to control my life when not asked.After year of hearing someone show only worry, and then telling me I won't get hired to "motivate" me, my parent ends up losing it all from a dumb financial move. I feel sad for her and stupid for having that option in the back of my mind.Do I have the right to tell her that I'm upset. Despite my protesting, I kinda relied on the help in the back of my mind, after having to put up with badgering or am I the asshole for complaining about not receiving something that's not mine, despite it being promised? EDIT: Just want to clarify that she wanted to give me the inheritance while still alive and badgered me fairly frequently in dissatisfaction with my currently admittedly shitty job situation. I refused because I wanted to see if I could hack it on my own and didn't want further dependence, until current work situation proved unsustainable. | AITA My mom lost my inheritance. Am I the asshole for telling her I'm upset? | YTA |
10xl3iv | Hi everyone,I (22F) could use some help figuring out if I'm the asshole in a situation with my sister (25F). My sister and I are roommates and friends, but we can also act like catty sisters at times. This weekend is the WMO and Superbowl (We live in Phoenix). My sister asked me if I could pick her up from her friend's house in Tempe on Saturday afternoon or evening after going out.*Note: We don't live near either location, but travel will be in the Phoenix/Tempe metro area*I suggested that she either Uber home that night (which could cost hundreds) or sleep at her friend's house and have her friend drive her home the next day (when sober). Mostly suggested because I don't want to drive most days, especially on a weekend as busy as this. However, my sister wasn't happy with my suggestion and felt like I was trying to get out of doing something for her and that we exchange favors for each other. She pointed to last month when she picked up my dogs medication from the vet and paid for it when I asked. So, AITA for suggesting my sister take an Uber or stay overnight with her friend during a busy weekend in town? I feel like I'm trying to do what's best for both of us, but I'm not sure if I'm crossing a line.Thanks for your help!Also - I mentioned I was gonna post here to get an unbiased opinion. She has an account, so I'm wondering if she will see this and agree if I gave a fair representation...... | AITA for suggesting my sister take an Uber or stay overnight with her friend during a busy weekend in town? | NTA |
10xp6xs | I am 17 in college (UK so not university) doing b tec psychology and law. the law coursework is a lot longer and has a deadline of may whereas my psychology has a deadline of friday this week. the assignment started a month ago and after teaching finished, we had 9 lessons to do the coursework.there are 2 people next to me who were playing chess for 2 of the lessons and were talking through most of the others. the person next to me is an ok guy called 'Chris' and one next to him called 'sam' who is a POS.right of the bat, chris didnt come to the first 2 teaching lessons so he was already behind. they would play chess whenever we had time to start our coursework in the teaching lessons and they would play chess online or talk during the entire thing (distracting me by making me talk with them). on lesson 6 my teacher started to check them regularly and even bring them outside the class to put them on learning plans to get them to do it outside of lessons.when there was 4 lessons left, chris was asking me what to do and i gladly helped and even sam. sam started to make 'jokes' of following me home and would say 'i will k\*\*l your cats' and start laughing. i knew they wouldn't do it but it shocked me since i told chris long ago and his cat was run over on december too.sam would make these cruel jokes about forcing me eating my cats and stuff like that so i gave them the silent treatment (i helped them a lot after this). i would bring my laptop from home and they mess with my computer and try and take out my charger plug and they would take my checklist and think it was funny. yesterday, it was the last lesson for the last 2 lessons chris has not been in lessons so it was silent between me and sam. yesterday he sat next to me (normally chris sits there) and was asking me for help on the first section of the coursework (we had 2 DAYS left till submission) a girl behind me (who also made cruel jokes about my cat) asked to see my timeline (which was section 2 so she was behind) and another said if she could take pictures of my whole coursework 'but copy any of it' but i said no. sam insulted me timeline but still took pictures of it. once when i was telling sam the harder stuff, he said i was 'pulling shit out of my ass' because it didn't make sense to him. i stopped helping him after that and when he asked i said 'you never helped me at all when i was struggling' and he probably havent finished the first section yet. i feel like i ATA cause he needs my help but at the same time he treated me horribly so i shouldn't help him. i am conflicted if i was right or not since i let him take pictures of the checklist so he should be ok. AITA for not helping him when he needs it the most? | AITA for not wanting to share my coursework with people who insulted me and my cats 3 days before the deadline? | NTA |
10xl2jg | I (22f) have two little sisters who I’ll call Lucy (20f) and Charlotte (17f). Lucy and I are both in university at different schools, while Charlotte’s in high school. I am currently studying in one of the top universities in my country in a well-known city, so it’s easy to get a bus there. My boyfriend (24m, we’ll call him Joe) and I share an apartment kind of far from my campus as my bf works from home. Tonight I got a call from my mom. She was frantically crying saying she and Charlotte had a huge fight before school started, and she hadn’t shown up to school. When my mom looked at Charlotte’s computer she saw she had booked a bus ticket (my sister doesn’t have a driver’s license yet as she continues to fail her test, which is part of the reason her and my mom were fighting) to my city. My mom asked me to go pick her up at the bus station and have her spend the night with me and my Joe, and then drive her back the next day. Joe and I share a car, and he was out with his friends using it (we only need one since he works from home). I called him and told him what was happening and he went and picked up Charlotte from the bus station. Since it’s a weekday and I have class tomorrow, I had to figure out a way to drive her back. I knew I had important tests everyday until the end of the week, so I couldn’t exactly skip class to spend the day driving her there and back (6 hour drive each way) until at least Saturday. Joe and my sister get back and Charlotte just goes into our spare bedroom and shuts the door. I explain to Joe what’s going on and ask if he can drive her back tomorrow. He says he can’t because his company is downsizing employees and if he wants to keep his job he can’t take the day off for something like that, as someone already had a similar situation and got laid off the same day. Alright, I’ll just call my mom and ask if I can book Charlotte a bus ticket back. I call her and my mom says that Charlotte has been really sneaky this past couple weeks with lying so she doesn’t want her talking the bus because she’s afraid she’ll get off and stay. She said she’s not comfortable with her flying either, unless I go with her. First of all the tests, second of all I can’t afford two tickets. So I tell my mom the only option is for me to bring her back over the weekend. Upon hearing that, my mom goes ballistic on me and says that if I don’t bring her baby back she’ll cut me out of her will. I ask her why she doesn’t come get her, and she says her car is broken down, she can’t handle the bus (germaphobic) and there are no flights out this week. I hung up on her, and now she’s turned Lucy against me and my dad (parents are divorced but remain friends, my mom has full custody because my dad lives abroad). Joe thinks she’s put me in an impossible situation, and that Charlotte can just hang out with him while he works. He says she’s 17 and can handle herself. I agree but I don’t who’s right here, and if I should skip my tests and drive her home.AITA?Edit: I talked to Charlotte, and apparently our mom has been pressuring her about one B that she has because apparently our mom developed high expectations for her after Lucy and I got into good universities. She basically snapped on her for all the mistakes she has been making and how she needs to do better. So she came here because she figured I’d understand, since I was expected to be the role model. | AITA For not driving my sister back? | NTA |
10xgx9z | Sorry guys, it’s a long post! TL;DR ~ our landlord and his wife are careless and disregarded tenants’ rights. My partner (F20), myself (M21) and a mutual friend moved into our current house 9 months ago. We were able to rent it for much less than it should have been due to our friend being the landlords niece. We’ve had constant problems with the house due to lack of care from previous tenants (also both related to the landlord) and the landlord himself. These include:-Cleaning the internals of the washing machine as our clothes came out smelling foisty (pipes were caked in thick mould). -All the pipe work underneath the sink as mould had rotted the plastic away. -Our bedroom door decided the handle wanted to stop working, locking my partner in there. (She’s diabetic and I had to remotely give her insulin through the door). He lives about 5 minutes away from our house and took his time showing up. He ended up kicking the door and breaking the handle off it. He still hasn’t replaced the door so we have a gaping hole in it to this day. -All the radiators had thick dust balls made up of cat hair from the tenant from before the last guy! The fridge also had cat food, toys and fur underneath it. -We had a mild rat infestation and while this isn’t his fault, he told us *he’d* call pest control and left it two months before doing so. Today was the last straw. We’re moving out soon and he told us he had an estate agent to coming this Monday, so we spent the day cleaning so it looked good for the photos and possibly get him a higher value. Now, you’d assume that was the end of it, but no… Today (Wednesday), I came back to find the front door unlocked. A woman came to the top of the stairs and said she was the landlords wife and she was here to clean up for the photographer, who was coming later in the day. I rang my partner and roommate asking if they knew anything and neither did. I wouldn’t have had an issue but the state she left the house in was atrocious. Obviously I didn’t expect her spring clean but she just made more mess. The washing up bowl was full of pots and she put it in a cupboard under the sink, causing oil and dishwater to spill all over the inside of it. She shoved stuff into cupboards and wardrobes and items in our drawers had been moved. She had also left an expensive frying pan in the oven which was then turned on later by our roommate and she didn’t check the inside of the oven. It has melted the silicone handle. I read online that while the landlord owns the house, it’s against the law for them or anyone else to enter the house without our knowledge. If she’d taken more care and if the landlord gave a toss about his tenants, I wouldn’t have minded as much but all his done is complicate things. So Reddit, WIBTAH for reporting him? | WIBTA for reporting our landlord? | NTA |
10xexcu | my girlfriend (19F) and i (18F) are longtime close friends with another couple (19F & 19M) who moved to another state a little over a year ago. in november, i bought my girlfriend and i tickets to go visit our friends, as we hadn’t seen them since this time last year when we also went up to stay with them. i triple checked that our friends would be available for the dates booked, and they assured me they were. fast forward to yesterday, 10 days out from our trip. my girlfriend and i have been excitedly anticipating the trip, texting intermittently with our friends about it, reminding them of when we will be coming. until i get a call from them, in which they tell me that they have both accidentally booked to go to a DIFFERENT state with her dad on the exact same dates we are heading up. in fairness, this trip wasn’t exactly intentional; her sister had been the one initially meant to go but something came up for her and so her father had invited our friends along instead. but in accepting they had completely forgotten the dates of our trip. to my girlfriend and i, this was devastating as we had been so incredibly excited to see them and felt unacknowledged, unappreciated and also intensely frustrated that they could forget the dates so easily. our plane tickets were non refundable, and would cost an exorbitant fee to change - our friends offered to pay half of this, but my girlfriend has recently started full time work and to change her requested leave 10 days out would seriously jeopardise her position at the company. here’s where our friends think we are the assholes. the frustration lead to an extremely heated group chat exchange, where our friends were clearly upset by our frustration. i can definitely admit we could’ve handled it better but we are absolutely panicking about plans changing at last minute. they were very confused as to why changing leave wasn’t an option, with comments such as “i didn’t know changing a week of your leave was such an impossible task” despite us explaining that it is a brand new job. to me, this felt like major deflection when we were the ones hurt and put out in the first place.they were also suggesting us going into quick crisis mode and planning to stay with family friends instead is demonstrative of us not putting effort in to fix this, rather than trying to save our trip that is non refundable and in less than 2 weeks. it has now devolved into what feels like a potentially friendship ending fight, in which our friends are saying we are overreacting, and i want to know if we are the assholes for being frustrated and hurt by this. | AITA for overreacting when friends forgot we were coming to visit them? | NTA |
10xkrku | Couple months ago my grandma passed away of old age, we were close and this was the first funeral I attended. After which in her will she gave her house and possessions to me, which I am grateful for. Also worth mentioning that my 2 aunts and cousin have been living there for a 2 years now. Now cut to present time, due to interest rates increasing and my dads debts from not making enough profit the previous year we have decided to sell the home I grew up in. My dad will move to his mates place by a river and I'll move into my grandma's place. This is where the problem comes in, my aunt has cleaned up the room I will be staying and I told her that I'm planning on sell and donate her old things. Cloths, jewellery, bit and peices of furniture etc. I also told her she can keep whatever she wants from my grandma's things but whatever is leftover I don't plan on keeping, she then seemed to be taken aback and said then she will keep everything and bring it to her room. After which I got a message from my mom saying I can't sell her things because it isn't mine to sell even though it is. Tldr: am I being insensitive for wanting to sell and donate things I don't need or want? | AITA for wanting to get rid of most of my dead grandma things. | NTA |
10xgp24 | This is my very first post on reddit. So pardon me.I'm from India (27f)My very close friend gave promise to his friend (Sia) that she could come to our city to look for job. And he would arrange her accommodation for few days. He couldn't manage it till last minute so he asked me if Sia could stay with me for 5-6 days?As I live alone, I agreed for 5-6 daysFirst few days were nice. But then I started noticing that Sia is not sending resumes or giving interviews or looking for job etc.She used to wake up at 3-4 pm in afternoon and it started annoying meI saw my main door open many times while Sia was sleeping carelessly. it pissed me off so I shouted once.She started crying etcI calmed her down somehow as she was friend of a friendVery next day I was sitting with my another friend, I was in a really bad mood and they both were irritating me. So I asked Sia to bring food. She got offended that how could I order her like this. I again calmed myself downBy this time, Sia is living with me for more than 15 daysThen my birthday arrived. It has been tradition for years that on my birthday evening I go to my friend's place. His family throws a party for me and we celebrate. I told this to Sia days ago.In my apartment there's a rule that tenant can't leave apartment to someone else, so I told Sia to come with me. When I packed my things to go to my friend's place, Sia started doing her drama again saying I'm not comfortable going there etc.PS she had met my friend multiple times. She knew it was a big bungalow with full family. It was just her stubbornness that she didn't want to goListening to her 'I'm not comfortable dialogue. I lost my temper. I just stormed out. I was really pissed and annoyed. I decided to focus on my birthday and deal with everything later.When I came back to apartment she was packed already. And left early morning without any prior bookings or anything.Now I feel bad that I should not be these harsh on her. Pl Reddit tell me AITA to behave rudely with Sia? | AITA to kick my friend's friend out of my house? | NTA |
10x1f0a | For context: my bf (27M) has been having money spending issues since before the start of our relationship, we have been together for almost 13 months. I have been trying to get him to safe money and stop spending it so carelessly, but to no avail. This resulted in him having little to no money every week. I (23F) work a full time job with a great pay. I safe up a lot to buy or rent a house later and I usually also pay our groceries, dates, his clothes and other necessities since I still live with my parents and don't have as much bills as he does. I didn't really mind at first since I could afford it but now it's been almost a year and I have talked to him about it because it started to bother me that he doesn't safe up money but rather spends it on alcohol or other things he doesn't really need, while I pay for so much. I told him I'd stop paying for most of the stuff since it costs me a lot of money and I don't want keep enabling him for spending his money unwisely. He was totally okay with it and agreed with me. Now my bf wants to celebrate his birthday this upcoming weekend. He wants to go bowling with some friends and have some drinks afterwards. Sounded like a great plan, but I can't go bowling because of my bad right arm and I can't hold a ball with my acrylic nails, which he knows about. I told him I won't participate, but I will be there to celebrate his birthday and overall have fun with them while watching them beat eachother in bowling. He said that was totally fine and was just happy I'd be there.Today he wanted to make reservations for his birthday. Everybody pays for themselves, but I don't have to pay since I'm not participating. Still he asked me for money again because he was 13 euros short to pay for himself, thus almost leading to having to cancel his bday. I said no, I'm not bowling and I don't wanna pay for others, plus I wanted to keep my word on not just giving him money again. He called me selfish for not wanting to pay and he called it "not wanting to contribute to him having fun". I told him it wasn't that, it was just that I don't wanna pay for something I'm not participating in and he gets paid by friday anyway. He now uninvited me to his birthday and told me not to come see him this weekend, while he knows how important celebrations are to me so I'm pretty hurt by this right now. I feel like I'm only good enough if I have money to spend on him, but I'm being left out it if I don't have the money or don't wanna just give it freely.I can afford it and I have the money. But I don't wanna say yes again and him not learning from it. I will be paying for my own drinks and stuff tho. Either way he asked his mom and she gave him the money. So he doesn't have to cancel and can still celebrate his bday. So AITA for not wanting to give him my money for his birthday?TL;DR: Boyfriend uninvited me for his birthday because I dont wanna pay for bowling which I'm not participating in.(English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes) | AITA for not wanting to pay for my boyfriends birthday? | NTA |
10x1993 | I'm traveling, so use coin operated launderettes to do laundry. I came back just before the washing machine finished to find all the dryers are full, but ones got 10 minutes left. No one else around After browsing Reddit for 20 minutes still no sign of anyone coming to take their clothes, so I take them out and put them in the basket carefully, and put them on top of the machinePut my clothes in, 5 Minutes later the owner comes back and flips out, how it's bad to touch someone else's clothes and how I should have waited as long as it took because he doesn't want others touching his clothes (specifically his underwear was his issue)He asked me "so you think I'm the motherf***er here?" Said I didn't think he was a mother fucker but didn't think it was that much of a big dealHe apparently cared so much he's paid to use the washing machine againLike, I literally wouldn't care if I came back 15 minutes after a cycle had finished and someone had taken my clothes out to put their's in. I'd expect it reallyAm I alone in this? Or do I suck too?Edit: grammarEdit 2: lots of people saying NTA are giving the exact reasoning I gave him, probably won't reply to you all to avoid being repetitive, you've all got my upvote though | AITA for taking someone's laundry out of the dryer | NTA |
10xkc60 | So my friend has this wired thing where if you ever speak in a criticizing way to him or negatively he will go mute and cease all communication for a few days before coming to his senses. I love this guy but it’s very frustrating when he does this or other things like call him out for backing out of plans without telling extra. So I one day snapped and just let loose and started complaining and calling him out for his bullshit among other things, he has avoided me and is angry at me and when I try to reconcile and logic my way through this he tells me to fuck off and such, I feel a little guilty. Am I the asshole | AITA for confronting my friend? | YTA |
10xbpf4 | Currently residing in my hometown, where my wife doesn’t want to be, but she also doesn’t want to live in her hometown. I’m not steadfast in staying here but need to move in a career direction that is appropriate (compensation, role, responsibility, etc). My wife has never worked (inside of our relationship, but she does have a masters degree in education). She wanted to be a stay at home mom and we created 3 wonderful babies. I have enabled this through my work and career progress while delivering her high standards of living. Nice house, nice car, vacations, etc. I received a job offer that pays me considerably better and has an explicitly spelled out succession plan to a national role (which would be remote) immediate role is factory based and requires relo. The general area (mid south - Kentucky) is where we had previously resided and from a climate perspective is much more temperate than current location (Iowa). She doesn’t want to deal with snow any more, and while this doesn’t eliminate it entirely it improves it dramatically. I recently turned down a role in coastal Georgia bc the pay and cost of living was way out of balance. She initially agreed that she wouldn’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to live there, either dramatically reducing living standards or getting a job to contribute. Now that that opportunity has passed she continues to hold onto it as the only acceptable scenario and she doesn’t want to move if it isn’t the ocean. Am I the asshole forcing this and believing that our arrangement is such that I provide and she supports? I have some fairly conservative view points, but not extreme, I’d never prevent her from working ive been supportive of her desire to raise our kids. But neglecting an opportunity to improve my earnings significantly and have a clear path to promotion is just not smart. Am I a selfish career obsessed narcissist or is she an entitled brat? | AITA Forcing a relo for work … aita? | YTA |
10xcbge | Background info: my car has been in the shop for the last three weeks because the part that’s needed to fix it isn’t made anymore, and the shop owner can’t find a used one under the mileage of my car. So my family and me have reached the same conclusion that my current car is a lost cause and we’ve been trying to find a cheap used one for me to have for work commutes.Now to the issue: yesterday was my 29th birthday. I’d forgotten ahead of time to request the day off so I knew I was working that day in advance. I was a little irritated at my forgetfulness but whatever. A lot of what happened over the course of the day was minor but I’ve been dealing with newly diagnosed mental health stuff, so it kind of compounded on top of that. 1: I woke up with a throbbing sinus headache that I couldn’t get rid of. 2: only three people I’m friends with even remembered it was my birthday. 3: and to top it off, my parents stopped by with with balloons and a cupcake to wish me happy birthday but then immediately told me I’d have to budget payments for an $8,000 car loan because we haven’t managed to find anything used and reliable. They know I’m struggling financially as is with my new medications and felt my birthday was the perfect time to drop this news.Fast forward to work, at this point I’m just straight up depressed and want to be alone. So I kinda isolate myself from my coworkers. Come break time, I’m meant to receive my “birthday gift” from my boss. It’s one of those typical corporate birthday celebrations where all of your coworkers watch you receive a cake and a card and clap for you. I really didn’t want to be celebrated in any form at that point and just stayed away from the break room, head on my desk, trying to think of anything I could cut out to afford a new car payment. My boss tracks me down and demands I come to the break room for my celebration. I adamantly refuse and he got upset with me and he sent me home for being rude.So now I work later tonight and feel like crap for not just sucking it up and receiving my cake and card, was I in the wrong? AITA for not wanting to accept my “birthday gift” from my boss?Edit: I wasn’t verbally rude to my boss. When he came to find me, I told him I was having a bad day and didn’t want to be celebrated. He insisted I come because he already bought the cake and card the day before. When I again, apologized and refused, he sent me home because I was being rude.Edit 2: the reason I’m hung up on the “only 3 people remembered my birthday thing” is due to some insecurities regarding my younger brother (27). He’s always been way more outgoing and has way more friends. On his birthdays he will get tons of his friends coming to his house with gifts and offering to take him out partying. Meanwhile I can barely get three of my friends to remember to send me a birthday text.Edit 3: I’m a guy btw. | AITA for not wanting to accept my “birthday gift” from my boss? | YTA |
10xm2d7 | English is not my first languange so sorry for any grammar mistakes. My mom (43) planned a trip with the family (her sister, me and my girlfriend) out of the country. We were very excited to come since it has been awhile since we last travelled together but suddenly my mom wanted my sister (6) to come which is diagnosed with severe autism when she was 4 years old and my mom is still in denial to this day. I recommended specialist before and other doctors but she ignored it (that’s another story.) I’m doubting coming to the trip since my sister has an occasion to throw things when she does not get her way, cause pain to other people, pull people to undesignated areas which are not allowed, and have severe tantrums. I do not blame my sister and I know that proper treament can help her but my mom is still in denial that she has autism which I understand is hard to accept and I’m convincing her all the time. I told my mom that I think we should not let my sister due to her problems that would be difficult in another country that we are not familiar with and told her My girlfriend and I will not come if she persists. My mom is sad and my family agrees with me but I feel like an asshole for what ive done. So reddit AITA? | AITA if i don’t come to our trip if my autistic sister goes with us | NTA |
10xiiqh | I know the title sounds a bit shitty but hear me put. So I 14f have a little brother 7m just little over a year ago my mother got him a turle for his birthday. Now let me just say since then my brother has barely done anything for it. He doesn't feed it change its water or even checks on it. I do all of that and sometimes my step dad will help. Now here where I may be TA I've been asking my mama if she could give the turtle away to a better home because I feel it isn't even happy hear. But she'd get mad and say why would she give the turtle away and that it's not my turtle it's my brother's. I stopped asking a while ago because my step-dad would put his two cents in but it's like nobody except me even cares for the turtle. I really just want it to have a better home and be happier but am I really TA? | AITA FOR WANTING TO GIVE AWAY MY BROTHER'S TURTLE? | NTA |
10wvm1y | Personally I don’t like the idea of “matching” tattoos, whether it’s family or friends because it may set a bad omen as I’ve heard matching tattoos could potentially be the starting point before they eventually split or fallout. The other day my sister and my mum ‘suggested’ we (all 4 of us) get a family tattoo, in which I declined. They kept asking over and over at different times why not. My family has a really (conscious/non-conscious) bad habit of talking over me mid sentence. I have my reasons why I don’t want one but I can’t properly communicate it to them because… they’re literally just not listening. Not to mention their tattoo idea isn’t a family agreed idea, it’s more so a “my idea is better than yours so we’re going with”. Their idea is to get an infinite ♾️ symbol that’s meant represent family forever. You could probably guess at this point, I don’t get along *very well with my family so the tattoo would be meaningless to me. I should also mention that I (22M) haven’t got my first tattoo yet (I’m getting it next month actually) and I don’t want my first one before that to be family picked. my mum then says I’m being stubborn, whilst I’m saying they’re being a little selfish. So, AITA for telling my family that I don’t want a matching tattoo? | AITA for telling my family that I don’t want a matching tattoo? | NTA |
10xoc3c | My wife and I (26f, 29m) recently moved into a new home. For the past few years that we've been married we lived in an apartment but we were recently able to buy a nice but modest home.Here's the issue. In our old apartment our bedroom door was to the left side of our bed. I don't remember what prompted this decision but I always slept on the left side of the bed, which was the side closest to the door. Over the course of a few years I got used to it.In our new home our bedroom door happens to be to the right side of the door. Since I've gotten used to the left side of the bed that's where I want to sleep. However my wife insists that the "gentlemanly" thing for me to do is to sleep closest to the door. When I asked her why she said "Because if an attacker comes in you're blocking him from me." I told her that this was absolutely silly; number one it's not likely that we are going to be the victims of a home invasion and number two if we are then our sleeping positions are almost certain to have zero impact on how the ordeal turns out for either of us.My wife admitted that on a practical level I'm right but stated that "symbolic gestures matter." We've asked all four of our parents and apparently they all agree with her assessment, with my father going so far as to tell me to "Stop being a baby and take the door side." I still think she's being silly but the unanimous support for her position makes me question that. AITA? | AITA for refusing to switch the sides of the bed with my wife? | NTA |
10xlwa6 | My roommate has moderate dust and pollen allergies and recently placed an air purifier into our room to try to alleviate her allergy symptoms. The problem is that the air purifier constantly emits a high-pitched white noise. It's relatively quiet, so I don't really notice it during the day due to other background sounds, but at night when the room is otherwise silent, my mind fixates on the noise and I can't sleep no matter how hard I try. After a few nights of this, one night I turned it off once she was asleep so I could get a few hours of rest. She noticed in the morning, and I apologized for not asking her beforehand and explained how I did it because I couldn't sleep with the noise. I asked her if from now on it would be ok to keep it on during the day but turn it off at night. She said she wants to keep it on through the night to keep the room "sterile" and that there was nothing she could do about the noise. I want her to do whatever she can to make her symptoms better, but it's been affecting my sleep pretty badly. I also feel bad for touching her item without asking first, but when I did ask politely it didn't elicit a good response either. AITA? | AITA for suggesting a roommate compromise? | NTA |
10xjwl3 | Just for a little bit of background, her and I used to be really close and I was close with her kids (my nieces) but my husband and I split up and the family naturally took his side and his parents blocked me on social media the day after I left. Our child is very close with her children so for the sake of the kids, I kept her on my social media as I hoped one day we could be friends again and our kids could go back to having sleepovers once the dust settled.Her and her brother always had a tumultuous relationship and fought a lot as he was abusive and she’s an alcoholic. She posted a picture of him that just said “my best friend!!! ♥️♥️♥️” which is good, I’m happy they are repairing their relationship but it felt fake and intentional knowing I’d see it. I felt I didn’t need to see that stuff anymore as he and I aren’t together, so I made the hard decision to remove her and accept that I lost more than just my husband during this split. I left him because he was abusive and my daughter and I have been living in a shelter for months. She never once reached out to ask if we are okay and have food etc. But today she texted me to say “I see you removed me from all your socials and that’s fine. I was hoping we could keep things kosher but whatever. I just kindly ask that you remove all photos of my children from your Instagram. I don’t feel comfortable with their photos being there if I don’t have access to it.” I said no, because my daughter is in those photos too and it’s my social media which is private and she said “I don’t give a fuck if your kid is in them, take the fucking photos down!!!!”She’s done this before when I posted a video or photo of my child and her husband was accidentally captured in the background… he hates his picture on social media and the whole family goes out of their way to scour and remove any pictures of him that accidentally make their way online. In the past I removed important videos of my daughter just to keep the peace even though it hurt but this time it’s different and it angered me because she’s purposely stirring the pot. After months of her niece living in a shelter THIS is what she’s concerned about? I blocked her after that so there’s been no more contact but AITA? Should I have taken the photos down and just not even reply to her? Photos of her kids on my social media has never been an issue before, so why now all of a sudden? | AITA for not removing photos of my sister-in-laws kids? | YTA |
10xjtwl | WIBTA if i chose to live with my dad instead of my mom?Okay, a little bit of history first. My parents split up in 2018, and got divorced a couple of years later. I’ve been domicile with my mom since it all began, visiting my dad every other weekend and such. My oldest sibling (20) lives with him, while me (16) and my two brothers (13 and (18) live with my mom. My mom and I…don’t get along. I love her, but out relationship feels so tight.Recently, she yelled at me and told me to get out of the house. (not in a way that was “kicking me out”, just that she couldn’t stand me anymore and I needed to get out of the house for a bit.). So I did…I went on a walk, crying and stuff, and called my dad because I was really upset and none of my friends were responding. My phone died, so he was worried, and drove up to check on me. Then my mom drove by to bring me back, saw my dad, and lost her shit…she called the police on him, told him he wasn’t a real parent, he didn’t have custody, etc, etc. police show up, (i’m having a panic attack), and my mom tries to show them the divorce papers. Turns out my parents have split custody…my mom always told me she had full custody of us and seeing our dad was a “privilege” or something…we never had any choice of where we could go. Turns out, where i live, any kid over 15 has the full choice to decide which parent they live with, as long as they’re able to care for them.My mom also calls my dad abusive over the smallest little things. Like, my phone was breaking, so my dad bought me a new one…my mom said he was manipulating me by buying me stuff. Obviously, this is probably just insecurity acting up on her part, but i’m still really really hurt. I just wanna love both of my parents, but my mom is constantly making me feel like if I “choose” my dad it’s betraying her. My dad, on the other hand, every time I tell him about conflict with my mom, encourages me to work on having a healthy relationship with her. (He’s a kid of divorce, so I think he understands how hurtful it is for kids to be put in between the conflict with their parents)...I want to live with my dad…I think I’d be happier, better…idk…this place stresses me out so much it's even harder to function…but I would feel guilty, I could ruin my relationship with my mom…and I don’t want that.​Reasons why i’d feel bad* Mom would feel betrayed* Could ruin already shaky relationship* Hurt siblings* I’m afraid of the conflict* Afraid mom would lose function without me​Reasons why i want to do it* Can be more open to dad* Mom acts paranoid, makes me feel like it’s her or my dad* Calls dad abusive, dad just wants me to have good relationship with mom* I think i’d be happier, less avoidant, want a home that feels like home…not a place i feel like i’m constantly trying to escape* Mom wants to control me, i want to learn how to control myself and become a responsible functioning adult | WIBTA if i chose to live with my mom instead of my dad? | NTA |
10xfiqj | Hello everyone. I am 25M with a disability. I always get really happy and excited when I see a non-disabled person interact with a disabled or a special needs person in the most positive and in a beautiful way or include them in stuff. It warms my heart because I feel happy that the others get to be surrounded by loving and wonderful people as I was surrounded by mean, toxic and horrible human beings growing up and had to be alone, this includes my own family and I would never wish this on my worst enemy.Now, I was with my brother (27M) and his friend, James (27M) at a coffee shop and we were standing, and another family walked by us, and they had a low functioning down syndrome teenager, maybe 14? and he went up to James and asked for a hug, and James laughed and even gave him a hug and chatted with him, and of course it made me so happy and all warm. And I told my brother that it was so sweet, and my brother said "who cares". (He is not empathetic unlike me). After it ended, I felt inclined to say thank you to James, so while my brother was grabbing our drinks for us. I told James that I appreciated that he interacted with that guy in the most beautiful way. I even said that I had appreciated that James had always been kind to me. Before James could even reply to me, my brother jumped in.He told me to shut up because I was saying something so stupid. I was shocked and I said what is wrong with being happy that there is a level of acceptance and equality between disabled and non disabled?My brother said that It is good to be accepting, but asked why did I have to thank James. I said that I was never treated that kindly, and I was treated horribly and bullied even and it made my heart warm that other people are so nice to the disabled and I appreciated how kind James is to me too. My brother disregarded me and said that I had an amazing life like my brother and It was so unnecessary to thank James. That made me pissed off, and I went off at my brother at how we all have different lives. I told my brother that just because he had an amazing life growing up does not mean that I had one. My brother called me a overdramatic, and told me that It is just so dumb to say thank you after a positive interaction and to stop projecting my insecurities onto my brother and he was being honest. I said that I just appreciate that the world is not that cruel to other disabled people unlike how it was to me. My brother got annoyed and we argued for a bit more, and then we just moved on. so AITA?PS. (Before anyone asks, Yes James loves me, but I do not see him often. Yes, James and I tried to become friends but then my brother got in the way and made us to stop talking so much to each other.) | AITA for thanking my brother's friend for a positive interaction. | NTA |
10xo37f | So me (38m) and Gina (40f) have a daughter of 9 months, Julia. She is the sweetest and happiest little human being.We live in different households, me alone and her with Julia and Claire (9y). Claires father takes her 1,5 days a week. Claire is very close with Gina, we do come along but it's clear that for her emotional wellbeing she needs a lot of time with her mom (she's okay with me helping her with schoolwork and stuff though). I'm taking care of Julia 10 to 12 hours a day for five days a week. Gina has to prepare her master-thesis and wanted to work on it while Claire is attending school. Lately she said she couldn't really work as while I watch Julia cause I am not taking care enough of the housework. Problem is that for me her household is total chaos while for her everything is perfectly arranged. She is diagnosed with ADS and it makes absolutely no sense for me how she handles her tasks. On the other hand she totally get's things done so for her it worked out til Julia came.I tried to do more but the problem is that it drives her nuts how I do things. I know how to take care of an appartement, I worked 15 years in nursing homes and was in charge for up to 20 residents. Her place is really stuffed and for example she has towells of 7 different sizes. Each size has it's own place (not different shelfs in a cupboard in the bathroom but 7 different cupboards all over the place) and all of them are folded differently. Food storage, cooking pots, dishes: everything is arranged in a sort of system I'm incapable to understand. So I have to think a lot when doing the dishes or the cooking which annoys her because I'm being "too slow". When I'm loading the dishwasher she will be redoing it just to get one more plate in. Also I am not allowed to make mistakes. When I don't get it right the first time, Gina will be snorting and telling me to let her do it. She thinks that I'm doing things poorly on purpose so she has to take care of everything. I tried to explain how I just don't get it why there are four places for oil and where which bottle belongs. She can't explain her system she just knows it worked for her so it must be my fault that I don't get it. She can be very rude and when I dpn't like being called names multiple times a day she says I'm tone policing her and that this is just the way she communicates (which is true, she is like that to everyone except her kids). She says I knew that she was like that which is also true but this was one reason we saw each other like two or three times a week before Julia was born. So yes I am basically just looking after Julia right now. Last time Gina said I'm cherrypicking on carework I snapped but thinking about it perhaps I took the easy path and I should just suck it up. It's clear she won't change and after all it's her place. So aita for actually not doing enough? | AITA for not doing enough housework? | NTA |
10x5yb0 | I (20MtF) dont want my parents to go to my therapy session, my dad thinks I’m selfish because of it. For context I can’t drive. Because of where I live, that basically means I’m not capable of leaving the house because town is just too far away to walk to. My college classes are online, but beyond that there’s just not much to my day to day. I’ve been going to therapy for years for a variety of reasons and my parents have across the years gone into my session maybe a handful of times. Across multiple therapists it always ends the same, my dad and I arguing as he tells my therapist why he thinks I’m not actually trans or why, even if I am, I should just stay in the closet all my life. My current therapist has had the pleasure to see this exactly once, I’ve been able to keep my sessions to myself otherwise. I’ve told my dad that this is basically the one time I get to leave the house and have something actually private. He kept insisting that he go back with me but I was able to put my foot down. My last session I was diagnosed with autism. One of the first things my dad asked me on the drive home was “so does this mean you’ve changed your mind (about being trans)?” Yikes. He then demanded that he and my mom go back so they can learn about autism. When I repeated my usual shtick about it being my one place he yelled at me for being selfish and not “giving him one session”. I eventually caved but didn’t feel good about it. AITA? | AITA for not wanting my parents to go to therapy with me | NTA |
10wvmnl | *Necessary premise:* *I'm not mothertongue so please forgive any mistake, and obviously throaway with some details modified/concelaed for privacy reasons.*​So, I met this person while volunteering for a local association.We were more or less the same age, we were the only ones with kis, and we volunteered in the same branch so we became pretty close, even though we chatted more via web than not in person.I'm not a TV fan, actually I don't know any TV famous face, so at the beginning I didn't know that they were married with a tv celebrity: their partner is an advocate for a political party that is at the opposite end of my spectrum.However, I always thought that the partner exaggerated their opinions and ideas to catch an audience, and probably in real life they would be both more moderate. After all, we shared the same value of our association, and that meaned something.We never talked about other values and views of life, we just tacitly assumed that we had different opinions.Last year we met during an holiday and spent more time together: surprise surprise, they were not more moderate. I have been naive and optimistic, but believe me, in two weeks we were ALWAYS on opposite sides of EVERYTHING, from civil rights to cheese for pizza, there was no common ground that we could think about.So, I began to put some distance between me and my friend, and I thought that they were doing the same for the same reasoons: only a handful of messages, no more long talks on instant messaging, and so on. Meanhwile, their partner gained a lot more fame, and now they are everywhere on our media, always, day and night.Last week, the partner was in a morning show and crossed the line, throwing an accusation towards people like me that never in my life I can tolerate (think something like “they are all murderers” or “they don't deserve to be considered equal”). There was some outrage about it, but my former friend thinks that their partner is right and what they have said is true.I went NC, but I didn't tell them why, I think it's more like ghosting, unless they ask me directly why.Problem is: I feel bad, I don't like to be the person who disappears, and I don't know if I should show some support towards them, that are currently swamped by criticism and shitstorms.AITA? | AITA for leaving a friend in need because until now I didn't believe they are an extremist? | NTA |
10xgg4f | My husband and I have been living for almost 2 years together. This includes saving up money together.We have already saved atleast $2500 in the total for 2 years of living together. We are now on our way to our first $3000.He is born with a family that can afford most of their wants and needs. My own family doesn't live very well, we change locations every 2 years because of our rent.Last year for my husband's birthday, we were earning $500/month (combined) by that time, we spent the day going on a roadtrip, it was absolutely fun. Spent around $30-$50 or so, but it was worth it.For my birthday, we both lose our low paying job so weren't earning much for that month. He bought me a $5 gift, and I was spending my bday washing a ton of clothes and taking care of him because he was depressed by that time. The next day I went home to my parents, spent my bday with the least we could because they thought I still deserved a celebration.For this year, we are now earning $1000/month (combined), my husband decided to spend $160 on his bday. He took all of his salary for his next cutoff and designated it on this upcoming bday. I felt angry, I feel like he is always ready to use our savings anytime when he wanted to. Aside from this, he always get his budget directly from our savings while I have a budget of $50/month including food and transportation on which I am also spending it on him as well.I am earning $300/month, he told me he deserves this bday because he is earning a lot more than I do. I have never gave support to my parents, I never treated them in a nice restaurant, been always spending gifts less than $15 for them, I feel like I am not giving them enough. I give my whole salary to my husband, but now I have 2nd thoughts.tl;dr Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend too much for my husband's bday? | AITA I don't want to spend too much on my husband's bday | NTA |
10xf3y0 | I’m best friends with who I’ll call E. We’ve been best friends for a couple years now and act like we’ve known each other for all our lives. We call often and hang out every Monday after school because that’s the only time I can really hang out for long with anyone. Recently, she got a boyfriend who I’ll call DJ. They started dating around a week before Christmas and they also call kind of often. However, recently I’ve been getting upset because I will text E and send her videos, ask if she wants to call, and try to talk her but she will only really give autopilot responses when she’s on the phone with DJ. It pissed me off cuz today all 3 of us stayed home. E and I weren’t feeling well but I didn’t know DJ also was home. I had been trying to talk to E for hours sending tiktoks and trying to spark a conversation. Around 4 I asked if she wanted to match profile pictures on Instagram and then saw she changed hers to match with DJ which was weird that they happen to change theirs right before I asked. By the way, we have a group chat with all three of us because sometimes E is too nervous to be otp with just DJ and asks me to call the group chat. Anyways, DJ texted in the group chat “Ma bad dawg beat ya to it” and I asked if they were otp because he only texts in the groups chat when I’ve texted E and she says my message out loud if it may have something to do with DJ if otp. E said yes and I asked if they had been otp all day and she said yes again. I asked if that’s why she wasn’t answering my messages all day. She said she had been(she gave a few responses when I texted her right after she answered a text). She said I was only sending tiktok’s and I said she wasn’t replying to my actual messages. She asked if I was upset and I said yes because she could’ve just said that they were otp and I would’ve left her alone. Anyways, in the group chat she asked if I wanted her to tell me whenever they got on the phone and I said when she sees I’m trying to talk with her then yes because “it’s actually common fucking decency to do so but you clearly lack that.” I know that was harsh but I was really upset because she keeps doing this and gets awkward when I mention about how this makes me upset and at the moment I didn’t care about how either of them felt. We talked a bit more and it basically was me being sarcastic saying good job and keep up what she’s doing and me leaving her on seen(which also happened when I was upset and hadn’t cooled down yet).This has happened several times before within the past month and was the reason I was very motivated to go to a mental health clinic last week to start seeing a therapist so I could try to understand why I was so upset about this and other personal reasons. I had ignored her for a couple days after that but we made up and she apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me upset.My overall question is am I in the wrong for being upset about all of this? | AITA for ignoring my best friend? | YTA |
10xnnje | Hey!! This isn't an interesting post and mostly fueled by my own anxiety, so I'll try and keep it brief. Not a throwaway because my boss doesn't use reddit (or so I hope). I (19F) work an overnight shift at a 24 hour gym. Part of the reason I got my job in the first place was because I have a lot of mental health issues that stem from abuse that happened to me around 5-6 years ago. I find working in an environment with little people around not only helps my mental health immensely, but the fact I work around very little people, coworkers included, means I can focus my effort on work entirely. I can clean and organize without people trying to talk to me often, and when I sell a membership or service to someone, I can do it easily because no one is watching. Whenever someone is over my shoulder at a job, or when there's a lot of people, I always feel like one wrong slip up warrants me getting horribly hurt by whoever I messed up with/did wrong by, and the fact I rarely feel that at my job is a massive weight off my shoulders. My boss (34M if it matters) is still very intent on getting me in on day shifts in order to bud rapport with my coworkers, despite my job description never entailing that I would be working day shifts. I hate working day shifts, both because of the sheer volume of people who come through the doors, and because of my coworkers themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're good people, but the majority of them don't tend to interact with me at all. They yell, swear loudly in front of customers, and fight with each other on an often enough basis it makes me uncomfortable to be around them. That, and I'm horrible when it comes to being around such high volumes of people. Don't get me wrong, I've had sales jobs before and dealt with situations like this, but it makes my anxiety bad enough to induce panic attacks, especially when I feel like I'm doing something wrong. We recently got a new sales manager whi my boss wants me to meet in the form of working a full day shift, which is something I really don't want to do/am uncomfortable with doing. I want to tell him that I'd be more than happy to come in and meet her on my own time, but I wouldn't want to work a day shift just based off my anxiety alone. However, I don't want him to perceive me as a bad employee or someone who hates their coworkers. He knows about my abuse/some of my mental illnesses, so while he knows I wouldn't be lying, he could get upset at for me for not doing something so basic. I'm mad at myself that I can't just get over myself and do it, but...I really don't want to. Would I be an asshole if I told him I didn't want to work a day shift, and if not, how would I even tell him? | WIBTA for saying no to my boss? | NTA |
10x6w4i | I (21F) have been dealing with my boyfriend (24M) commenting on my looks a lot. I am a bigger girl (tall and sturdy) and I have dealt with eating disorders in the past, as well as body dysmorphia. I do not like people commenting on the way I look in a negative manner. I have told my partner this before, and he tells me that he likes the way I am. However, there will be times where I feel like he unnecessarily talks about my looks. I sent a picture from 2.5 years ago where I felt pretty and loved my outfit, which I told him. He responded with “meh” and said he’d rate me a 4.5/10 in it. I got quite upset by this, to which he thought was ridiculous, since to him I’m “usually a 9”. I told him I did not want my appearance to be rated. Awhile later, he started telling me how statistically unlikely it is that I would ever find someone who is as good a match for me as he is. Then started saying how most people on earth wouldn’t find me attractive in the first place due to my height and weight. He then said that to the average person, I would be maybe a 6 but to him I was an 8. I asked what made my rating go down, and he said that he always said I was an 8, never a 9. I told him again that I do not like being rated or told how unlikely it is other people would ever find me attractive or be interested in me. He then started rating my friends as an attempt to make me feel better. Then he said I had no reason to be upset over being called an 8, since it is 80% and that’s a “good rating”. After that, he said “well, I guess maybe I wasn’t completely honest with my rating of you.” and said he “probably” rated me too high. We then later had a fight that he ended by calling me a worthless pig. He says I have no right to still be upset that he said that, since typing it and sending it made him cry and feel bad. Last night he said something like “I don’t usually like bbws, but you are attractive to me”. Then (exact quote) “I think if you would lose some weight I would think you’re perfect but I also like how you are now.” After this I explicitly said “please do not comment negatively on my weight or appearance. It makes me feel awful about myself and like I have to starve myself to truly be loved by you.” And he said “sorry, won’t do it anymore”Today he brought up “what if a skinny girl did _____ for me?” and is mad at me for getting upset that he brought weight and appearance into it again. I brought up his comment from last night and he said “when I say I like you more if you lost a bit of weight it is like a 5% increase in looks and what’s most important is health.” I workout weekly and hardly eat half the time. I don’t like him making these types of comments. He says I am insecure and that is not his fault. He can have thoughts and opinions about this kind of stuff, but I do not think they always need to be shared, especially when it will knowingly hurt someone’s feelings. Am I just too sensitive? | AITA for not wanting my partner to comment on the way I look? | NTA |
10xbpx9 | I (16m) just started driving a car. My dad used to drive a 2002 silver Toyota Land-cruiser with almost 200,000 miles on it. He got a new car a couple months ago and gave the landcruiser to me. it’s in a pretty bad shape and i’m not even allowed to drive out of city with it bc my parents are afraid of something breaking. Yesterday i scheduled an appraisal meeting with my local dealership to see how much money it could fetch me. I have a job and i think pretty soon i should be looking for a new car, the money i’m making from my job plus the the money from selling the car could have the car payed off before i even move out. But my parents think that if the car gets sold they should have the money. There’s no chance that i’d be able to afford a car without the money from selling the car, and there’s no way they would use the landcruiser if i bought a new car. I really don’t know if i should feel entitled to the money made from selling that car. i know that legally, it is my dads car, but i can’t help but feel pissed that they won’t help my afford a new car.Edit: Grammar mistakes, also btw i haven’t had to do maintenance on the car yet but when i needs maintenance i’m gonna be the one paying, i also pay for gas 2nd Edit: thanks for the advice y’all, opened up a lot of stuff, i think i’ll pick up the conversation later when i have a new car and still not consider the money that would come from selling the landscaper as mine. y’all actually some likeminded ppl | AITA for trying to afford a new car as a highschooler | YTA |
10xkt1x | My sister (23f) lives in our parents house and has a job of her own. She pays nothing in the house except for some of her own expenses like shampoo and clothes and sometimes her own food (which she has yelled at us for eating), but she does not (and has never since she got a job two years ago) contribute at all to anything like the light bill, water bill, house expenses, doesn’t buy food for our pets, doesn’t pay any of the streaming services the family uses, doesn’t contribute to the expenses of the family car (which has needed a LOT of work in the past year), etc. She pays nothing, lives here for free, has a job, and is an adult fully capable of understanding financial struggle. We’ve been struggling a little for the past month so today my mom asked her to pay the light bill with her credit card because we’re past the due date and it might get cut off soon, and that she will pay her back as soon as she gets her paycheck by the end of the month. My sister got angry, said no because she wants to buy herself a pair of shoes she’s been eyeing for a while, and that it’s wrong of my parents to rely on her because paying the light bill for this month is too much pressure and that they’re wrong for putting that pressure on her. Mind you they’re going to pay her back. I got mad and called her out, told her she was selfish (with much harsher words tbh), and told my parents they should honestly consider kicking her out. AITA? | AITA for calling my sister selfish? | NTA |
10xc7ir | My exgirlfriend (F25) and I (M23) broke up days before our three year anniversary. We had mutually come to the conclusion after going over all of our issues. Our roommate (25F) had been one of these issues. My ex had issues with the way me and my roommate would chat about the dogs or work. My ex would claim there were all these coincidences of me and my roommate heading out at the same times to take the dogs or go the store. Eventually my ex just flat out accused me of sleeping with our roommate behind her back. To clarify, I’ve never so much as accidentally brushed up against this girl. Anyways long story short. My ex and our roommate had a blowout when she confronted my roommate about how she was feeling and our roommate left but we had actually become pretty decent friends over the time being. I told my ex that I wasn’t going to stop being friends with her even though it made her uncomfortable. AITA? | AITA for Hanging out with my Ex’s Ex-Friend? | NTA |
10xh06j | For context I live with my dad and sister neither of which seem to care about me. My dad has anger issues to the point of where I am afraid to talk to him. He makes comments about my weight ALOT and my sister does nothing to help me and even says hes just frustrated because he has a problem with his leg I've said that isn't an excuse but then I just get the threat that since I turned 18 two months ago it isn't considered child abuse if they do anything now. They've threatened to get rid of my cats which are both emotional support animals.And I know some will think I am over exaggerating but I've literally been on the phone with my friends and gf and they have heard them say this stuff over the smallest stuff (didn't do my hair the way THEY wanted, accidently putting clothes in the wrong drawer, and even just cleaning too slow.) 2 days ago they literally waited til I called my gf and started berating me for " Looking like a homeless person" just because I didn't straighten my hair. They then proceeded to say that they were going to start taking away my phone and laptop if I don't start doing it. They're both mine that I paid for. Their names are not on them.Me and my gf have been discussing me moving to her state and renting a place there for us. We discussed the pricing and where we would live in my room while they weren't there. Somehow either they have tapped my calls or they are using some sort of listening device because they know exactly where I plan on moving and keep bringing it up how that's so disrespectful to consider moving away. They have refused to teach me how to drive and now everytime I turn around they want me to pay for ridiculous stuff and have even demanded me to give them money for cigarettes,vapes, and alcohol. I keep finding money missing each time I get over $300 and it's starting to feel like they are doing everything they can to stop me because "It's disrespecting them that I wanna move". I do not see how it's disrespectful. I could be overthinking it however and they could be right about them "just doing it because we care about you"and "if ur kids don't say they hate u at least once we arent doing a good job". But I don't see exactly how because imo parents shouldn't belittle thier kids and get away with it.Also one final thing, I know I'm an adult now. However, I am still in school and do have mental problems which make it hard for me to do everything perfectly. I probably couldn't live alone due to my anxiety causes panic attacks easy, I can pass out for a couple hours at a time but I have my gf who has always stood by me even from afar and we plan on moving in together. Sadly although I wanna take both my cats One I don't think is safe to fly because she's possibly a senior, and the other I keep hearing them talk about getting rid of her. So I am tryna move out asap. But I do wanna know if I'm the asshole. No matter the judgment though I am gonna move.When yall address me please use they/them or just Op okay? | WIBTA if I move away? | NTA |
10xn3rw | Back in 2018 my neighbours were moving to UK and asked if we could take care of their 2 pet rabbits.I bonded with the rabbits and i had it for 5 years , when the neighbours moved back here a few months ago they didnt ask their pets back as i had it way longer than they had. when i told others about this , many were saying i was an asshole for not returning pets to their owner and i was only asked to take care of them. so Aita? | AITA for not returning my Neighbours pet? | NTA |
10xifkb | My fiancé and I recently got engaged and are starting to plan the wedding. For some background, we have been dating for 4 years. In the first year we were dating, my fiancé lost her dad unexpectedly. My fiancé and her family became very private and worried since then which I understand. her side of the family is also very little compared to my relatively large family and family-friends. Now here comes the issue. We were each planning to have 5 people on each side for the wedding party. One of the 5 groomsmen is my fiancé’s brother ( my sister is one of the 5 bridesmaids too). We agreed on our 5 and also agreed that her brother would also be the one to walk her down the aisle. Then, my fiancé spoke to her mom, and her mom told her that her brother can’t be a groomsman because he can’t walk down the aisle as a groomsman and then again to walk my fiancé down. I reasoned that he can do that if he wanted or just walk my fiancé down the aisle and just join my side afterward rather than take a seat. I talked to her brother and he is fine with either option. But now, my fiancé’s mom is saying he can’t just walk my fiancé down the aisle because that would mean one of the bridesmaids would be walking down the aisle alone, which takes away from the bride. I dont really agree with that or see why it’s an issue to have any bridesmaid walk alone or even just have the brother walk twice as a compromise. Instead, my fiancé’s mom is insisting my fiancé’s brother walk her down the aisle only and we have my fiancé’s cousin be a groomsman instead. I argued I wanted her brother and he was good to do both, and I don’t want her cousin to be a groomsman because I’ve only met him a handful of times, he’s much younger (17), and I barely know him. If I am being forced to have a replacement, I’m not sure why it wouldn’t be my choice. Now my FMIL thinks I’m rejecting the cousin to spite her family. I’m not, I genuinely just don’t know him and I have cousins on my family side I wouldn’t choose either for the same reasons. Id much rather have a close friend. We also have my fiancé’s other baby cousin being the flower girl and that’s really the only family on either side being involved. I think my fiancé’s mom feels inferior due to the differences in family dynamics, but I’m not sure why it has to be like that and why we can’t all just celebrate together without sides. So, AITA for not wanting my fiancé’s cousin to be my groomsman? I most likely will just back down and let the cousin be a groomsman if it’s that big of an issue, but really wondering if I should. | AITA for not wanting my fiancé’s cousin to be my groomsman? | NTA |
10xadn2 | I'm in serious need of outside views on this as it's starting to ruin my relationship.I (25F) did not know my biological father until last year when I found him via ancestry DNA. I have made really close connections with him and his sister. We live in the UK and I have a great nan, aunts and cousins who are in Germany. My aunt asked me if I would be willing to go to Germany with her for my great nans 98th birthday and my cousins wedding and would be staying at a family members house.bI said I would love too and excitedly called my partner (M 34)Straight away this is where the problems start, he starts saying "oh, no invite yeah" and proceeded to say why wouldn't I want him there that it's a couples thing etc, he even went as far to say I only don't want him there as my cousin said about going clubbing while out there and I just want to find someone else. In reality, I just feel that this is family I have never got to meet and I feel that I want to get to meet them first before introducing them to my partner and that it's also not my place to be inviting anybody else when there's a wedding and such.His attitude wore me down over a few days and I eventually said he could come in order for the snide comments to stop and try to resolve this as i believed maybe i was being harsh.The issue was, they never did and proceeded to get worse as it was getting close to it being booked with him saying he doesn't even know if he wants to now etc..I then told him on Friday I would be going to book it on Sunday and to let me know before hand. This changed to Saturday due to aspects out of my control so i messaged him and asked if he knew yet and he started ringing me when I'm at my aunts stating I done this deliberately so that he wouldn't come and that I just want to go and act single and find someone out there among other things and he doesn't want too. So I booked it.Things were awful for days, before we sat down and spoke and he told me to just go and enjoy myself. In the weeks since then, I've had slight digs but just let them fly over my head until last night when he started all over again saying I don't act like I'm in a relationship by wanting to go without him, I only don't want him there due to the hen do. I tried to explain that I just want to meet and get to know my family and I would be going again and he would be welcome to come and he got angry and accused me of all sorts and I've messed with his head telling him he could go and then booking it without him and I should have known that he wanted too.So, am I the asshole?! Because my head is split in a million different ways right now! | AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to come with me to meet my family for the first time. | NTA |
10xjyvu | I (19 F) have a friend (19 F) who had a very serious relationship with this dude (20 M). For background information they had been together for a year and he broke up with her. Two days after the breakup my friend (for privacy reasons i’ll call her Sam) calls me and tells me that she’s not in a great state of mind and quote “doesn’t know what i’m gonna do if i’m left alone” Obviously i went to go see her because of that comment alone. Well she starts explaining the situation and openly admits she was a toxic girlfriend. She didn’t like that he had this one girl best friend (even though the girl was lesbian and in a relationship with another woman) and also the fact that they had been friends for years. She made him choose between her or him. He chose my friend and cut contact with his girl best friend. Not only that, Sam also made work for him miserable. She openly wanted him to stop working to be with her. When he didn’t chose to, she’d get extremely upset. Honestly i sympathize with my friend because i know she’s been screwed over by other guys she’s been with. She truly is a very beautiful person and has societies body standard so guys would tend to hit on her and use her for her body. Because of that she has trust issues. (she’s also been cheated on in the past). Anyways Sam would consistently text this ex boyfriend after he said he needed space from her. Sam sent him pictures of them together, gaslight him into thinking he was in the wrong the whole relationship, tell him he’s horrible for blowing her off for the girl best friend all the time etc… These past few weeks I haven’t spoken to her in a while because she has the tendency to forget who her real friends are to hang out with someone else, but i heard from a friend that Sam caused some problems with of her friends. This friend of Sam went to a festival and saw the Boyfriend hang out with the girl best friend and her girlfriend and she decided to take a selfie with them and post it on instagram (they are both friends btw) Sam saw this and was not happy… Sam then blew up that friends phone and calling her every name under the sun. Basically saying she’s a wh0re and a terrible friend. And how she betrayed her trust because she “hung out” with him. Sam was ultimately acting as if they had sex or something. Here’s where I come in. I made a comment to my friend who told me the situation and three other people in out group. I said that Sam has an obsession with this dude and she needs to get over the fact that he’s moving on. My 2 of my friends agreed but one didn’t. She said that I was being inconsiderate of my friend and that heart brake isn’t a joke (which i get but still) Anyways AITA? | AITA for saying my “friend” is obsessed with her ex bf | NTA |
10x85m4 | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. He and his ex had a bad break up and were basically strangers till about a year and half ago when she became a devout Christian and somehow they reconciled and became "friends". Somehow my boyfriend knows about her new relationships, break ups, and also knows that she's looking to get married to a pastor in the future. Recently, an Instagram influencer ran a insta story question poll asking married couples how they still keep their sex life active. One of the replies was from a pastor's wife who mentioned a few things they do to keep it active. Next thing I see, my boyfriend posted a screenshot of this particular response to the poll, reposted it to his WhatsApp and tagged his ex (Yunno, since she wants to marry a pastor). I felt very uncomfortable about the post and told my boyfriend that it's weird that he would tag his ex on a post with that kind of subject matter. He got defensive and told me that it was obviously a joke and "if you say you don't like it then fine, I'll apologize but I don't get what you're saying" and this just made me angrier and now we're not speaking to each other. I was so angry I didn't speak to him that day anymore and only reached out the next day but he's been ignoring me since. (It's been 5 days). We are long distance and all this was over the phone.Edit; As someone in the comments has helped me clarify. My issue is not about the joke being offensive by itself or to her, it's about referencing his ex on a post that talked about sex. It made me feel very uncomfortable. | AITA for telling my boyfriend his joke was offensive | NTA |
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