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10wx7pd | So I (F19) dropped out of university last year and I’ve been living at home since. I was working full time but now I do part-time 9 am-2 pm shifts so I can do the school run for my parent. I don’t pay rent, I just do the weekly shopping.
About two weeks ago I sustained a large first-degree burn on the back of my hand. I didn’t want to bother my parents, because it was late. Yet after a few hours of attempting first aid, I realised I needed to go to A&E. Surprisingly my mum was still awake, so I told her I’d get an Uber to the hospital and she said no, she’d drop me there instead. I was grateful, of course.
Currently, my hand is healing and no longer extremely painful but is still an open wound. At home I usually do chores, meal prep and housework, however, due to my injury, I haven’t been able to do a lot of that or go to work, and my mum is evidently not happy about it. She’s been upset because I’ve been sleeping in until 7.30 instead of waking up at 6.30 to pray in the morning before my dad leaves for work…at 7.30. She hasn’t been talking to me and tries to ignore me when I speak to her. I’m pretty used to it, so I don’t pay attention. Yesterday, she broke the silence by saying that she was heading out. She didn’t say where, but since it was around 11am I knew she wasn’t going into her office.
This was on a Tuesday, and for the past 6 months (excluding the Tuesday before last), I always volunteer as a mentor in schools every week. It’s also the only time I actually ‘go out’ aside from work. I enjoy working with the kids, and my mum enjoys reinforcing the idea that I shouldn’t waste my time there.
Because of the timing of the sessions, my mum picks up my sister from school on Tuesdays. Yesterday though, I received a voicemail from my sister's school saying that my sister was still at school waiting to be picked up… it was 4.45 (she finished club at 4). I had a piercing appointment but had to cancel and head to the school because I couldn’t get ahold of my mum, or the school. It would take me a good hour to get there. After 40 minutes my mum called to ask me what I wanted and cut the call when I answered. She then asked me where I was and once again… cut the call. After a 30-minute walk to school, uncertain of wtf my mum was doing, I found she had picked up my sister about 20 minutes ago, meaning that she had been at home the whole time. I was livid.
To make it worse, she was in a mood when I got home and actually on the phone with her friend villainising me for the whole ordeal. I stayed in my room the whole evening because I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse with my words.
I was trying to be the bigger person, so again, after calming down, I tried to break the ice this morning. But my mum took it as an apology...and didn't accept it.
I understand that I probably should have reminded her that I was volunteering, but AITA for basically just avoiding her currently and keeping my words minimal? | AITA for avoiding my mum | NAH |
10x8mce | First of all, some background:Im part of a small group of friends , which are both couples who have been together for years now. In the last 2 years i ended a relationship that made me go on my own for a bit since i didn't want to be the fifth alone, and I ended up finding a new girlfriend, the new relationship is still fresh and we want to spend a bit more time together we ended up making plan for a weekend out for the week of valentines day. Now today 1 week before one of the girl made a group reminding us that since the other couples have plans for saturday his boyfriends(wich is one of my best friends) we will celebrate his birthday on sunday (just a simple dinner)... i will not lie life got really busy latelly, and i totally forgot of his birthday, but no one made plan before hand this is all news of today. After thinking about it for a bit, i excused myself and my girlfriend and told everybody that we couldn't attend since we already booked our trip. The friends girlfriend said in a sarcastic way "you remember your friends brithday i see, we will remember when yours come", wich all seems to have forgotten last year. My girlfriend told me no one made a group to discuss it and she was unsure if this is how we used to do, i told her we usually do so she ended up doing it for me. Back to the sory the other girl in the group just said " write our birthdays down you are being rude not showing up" mind she asked me last year to delay my summer trip to attend his birthday(wich i did not).Now i asked the other male friends if im beign so unrational. And he told me: "yes you should have remembered and made the trip at a later day wich i still suggest you do but in the end im not the one who will get his birthday without you so not my problem" .Now i have yet to respond in the group and can't contact the other male friend to apologize or make other plans together, since this new plan for his birthday has not yet been revealed to him.So reddit... AITA here?P.s: im not a native speaker i checked as best i can the grammar. i apologize in advance if i made some mistakes | AITA for waiting to not wanting to delay my trip after forgetting my friends birthday | NTA |
10wv0xd | My niece turned 15 yesterday and as her birthday gift she wanted to give away all her old clothes to someone who needs them and buy new ones. Her taste in clothes has changed a lot in the past year and there is almost nothing in her closet that she likes anymore.She approached me a few days ago and asked me if I would go shopping with her and help her buy new clothes.My ex sil lives in another city and I know she was looking forward to coming here for her birthday and do the shopping with her so I told her maybe she should do it with her mom. She said she doesn't like her mom's taste in clothes and would rather I go with her. So we went shopping and we had a great time.Her mom arrived yesterday and she was extremely angry when she found out we went shopping without her. She called me an asshole for agreeing to this when I knew she wanted to do it. She also kept making snarky comments to me about us looking like twins(my niece chose clothes that are similar to my style) and even made some rude comments that because I can't have any kids I'm trying to play mom for her daughter. My brother ended up asking her to leave | AITA for going shopping with my niece? | NTA |
10wwrh6 | AITA for hanging up his clothesSo myself, my husband and our 2 kids just recently moved. However, the place we moved to is smaller than our last home, and thus we lost storage space (this provides context). Today, I hung up my husband’s clothes in his closet. When he came home from work I showed him. His response was that he was going to take everything off the hangers and put it in a pile on the floor in the closet because thats how he likes it. (Now one would think he’s being sarcastic or joking. No this is how he kept his clothes in our last place, and we shared a closet and it was a massive mess.) I explain that I’m trying to keep this house neat, and set a good example for our kids, and that we need the storage in the bottom of the closet. His reply is that it is his stuff and he will keep it however he wants. I get that, and I normally leave his messes alone. I re-explain the storage issue and you know tidiness. His solution is to now find away to hang large Rubbermaid bins full of things from closet rods. I told him absolutely not; the main reason being we rent and if he breaks the rod we’re liable. AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes?Edit: The pile he wants is just one massive pile of his laundry unfolded in the bottom of the closet. I’m not asking him to fold his laundry or hang it. I offered to do it, all I’m asking is for him to let it be so we can use the bottom of his closest for storage. We are also using the bottom of my closet for storage, so I’m not asking anything of him that I’m not doing to my own closet. | AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes | NTA |
10x875p | Last year I (14f) was in a friend group with a few other girls in my class. I'm not sure what you would call them (stereotypical mean girls?), but they talked bad about everyone and practically bullied me out of the group. They dislike basically everyone outside their small circle. Anyway. There's this one girl who we were friends with (lets call her Alex): she's neurodivergent and doesn't exactly act like everyone else does (for obvious reasons) and she has other personal problems that I don't want to get into. She was really good friends with us, and had been friends with some of the others since primary school. But then the other girls started talking about her: how she was faking having certain problems for attention, how annoying she was, how she was so weird etcetc. They even went as far as to tell other people (who she had not given permission for them to tell) about her mental health problems. I myself am neurodivergent and the things we like are very similar, so I felt really bad being around these people that laughed at my friend for all the things I did. I'm sorry to admit that I joined in on these conversations, just to fit in with them and finally be "normal" for once. But then in January, Alex and me were talking and the other girls came up in conversation. By this point i had since left the group and was friends with other people. I made the decision to tell Alex about what they had said (she was still friends with them and had no idea what they were saying about her behind her back). She got really upset and started crying, which was fair enough. Alex went on to tell our teacher and the teacher got really mad at the other girls, and they got in a lot of trouble. I still talk to the other girls, and one of them is my really close friend (she's also left the group because she felt it was toxic) and I feel really bad that I got her in trouble. This probably sounds stupid, but I can't stop thinking about it.AITA? | AITA for telling my friend our other friends hate her? | YTA |
10x443v | I (16f) am a song leader in my church. I am accompanied by a piano and a pianist (17m). For reference, we sing old hymns. This last Sunday, I sent my pianist 3 songs like usual after service. ( an opening, an offertory hymn, and an invitation ). He said we do the opening song way too much. ( I don't ever sing it, but the other girl who leads does. However, I'm hardly ever in there for her songs, and I'm typically doing other jobs during songs if I'm not leading.) I said ok and changed to a different peppy song. He then sent me the page numbers correcting the new song number in. How he had changed the invitation. I corrected thinking he just made a mistake. He instead told me that we WE ARE going to do the songs he picked out because we sing Amazing Grace too much ( I looked through old programs, and it's been at least 2 months). I told him no, we weren't doing the song he had picked out. He called me a control freak and got pretty mean and told me it should be a compromise. I told him that if he was unable to play Amazing Grace, then we could do a different song instead. The thing is, picking out the songs isn't his job it's mine. The only reason he should ever be REQUESTING to change a song is if he can't play it because it is above his skill level. Even then, he is supposed to tell me this, and then I pick a new song. He gets PAID! I don't I do this as a volunteer. It is literally his job to play the songs I tell him to play. He has been told multiple times that it isn't his job to pick out songs by the pastor. He also had no idea what kind of songs go where if it's easy to play. That's all that matters to not if it actually is appropriate for that time in the service. Anytime I've added in new songs, he complains that he is far too busy to learn a new songs ( keep in mind I have to learn it then teach it to others). I dont think this is a place to compromise at his PAID job. I have studied music theory and have competed in choir competitions all over the state. I am fully qualified to pick out songs on my own and sing them. He has played the piano for 8 years, and he should be able to play Amazing Grace.AITA?Edit : more information in the comments | AITA for not letting my pianist change songs? | NTA |
10wun06 | for context, my best friend is my mate who i’ve been friends with for more than 8 years now, since high school, so we’re tight and we are really good together. my GF (who i’ve known and been together for just over a year now) is extremely upset at him because of some issues while they were at work (they work at the same retail shop, but I do not).it has been mentioned to me that admittedly they don’t see each other much at work because my friend works in the morning and my GF works in the evenings, and so are lucky to get the same Saturday morning times. apparently, something had happened at work, where my GF asked my friend to quickly tie her shoes while in control of self serve checkouts (she cannot tie her shoes properly, not because she was too busy). my friend had told me that he got very conscious about stopping what he was doing to go and tie her shoes in the middle of a busy shop with a lot of eyes. so he kind of panicked and walked away. this, along with some other issues i’ve heard from my GF that my friend had been ignoring her at work when she wants to talk, to which my friend told me that he would not talk so he can’t get told off by the manager on shift (their manager is a nightmare and all but kicked me, a customer, out of the shop while dropping my GF at work and stopping to talk to my friend). so my friend and I had recently signed up to the gym and go there once a week together. my GF was upset when I told her and said I shouldn’t be going with him because it’s disrespectful to her, and that I should be supporting and defending her in this situation. I said that their beef had nothing to do with me, and asked if she had talked to him about this. she told me she hadn’t and wouldn’t talk to him about it for whatever reason. I talked to my friend and he said he’s got no problem with her and, like me, doesn’t really understand what the big deal is. to me, I don’t understand why I can’t hang out with my friend while my GF is upset at him, regardless of whether or not she wants to try and fix the issue. I don’t know why I’m being placed in the middle of this (by my GF), it has nothing to do with me. I don’t know why i’m being forced to mediate this and having to justify hanging out with my friend. am I being disrespectful to my GF by doing this, I understand how she can be upset at her situation but I don’t see how it has to affect me?Edit: with the issue of the shoe tying, she can tie shoes, sometimes. when sitting on her bed at home she can after maybe one failed attempt, but is otherwise competent enough. I can only assume that in this situation it was either; she had some anxiety about not being able to tie her shoes while in the middle of a busy shop and having to help others at the same time, or that she just wanted my friend to quickly tie them because she was busy and he dashed off. isn’t down to issues with ability, just a lack of practice. | AITA for going to the gym and hanging out with my Best Friend while my GF is mad at him? | NTA |
10x2gr8 | I (27f) am originally from the United States, but I live abroad. My younger brother is graduating from college in May and graduations are really important in my family. My entire extended family is going for it and I might even be bringing my boyfriend back to meet everyone, however none of the plans are set in stone yet.A good friend of mine who lives in my current city wants to take a little trip (potentially to a different country) for her 27th birthday. She got really upset when I told her my planned dates for my trip home, as it would overlap with something she might want to do. She discussed doing something for her birthday, which I was initially excited about, but didn't know the dates yet, just that it was in early May. I ideally would fly the day after her birthday (which is a Friday), so if she hosted something that evening I could go. However, I have no expectation of her adapting her plans to suit this.My family is driving up for my brothers graduation in the middle of the week, which would mean I would need to fly back from her birthday trip (Sunday) and then fly intercontinentally again within a couple days. This would require me to take off work, rather than working remotely during the week and would also give my boyfriend very little time to interact with my immediate family before he had to meet everyone, which I fear could be overwhelming.I want to be there for my friends birthday and am happy to have a night with her where we live before I go, but I really don't want to take a trip given the extremely quick turn around between that and flying home. She says 27 is a big deal, which I don't really understand, but I know birthdays are very important for her and I do care about our friendship a lot. I know not attending would hurt her, but I fear that going on a trip would affect my boyfriends comfort level with my family, put me behind in my work, and make me less present for my brother.I need to book my trip soon as prices for flights will only continue going up, which will likely need to happen before she has confirmed what she wants to do.I feel like I might be the asshole because I technically could go to both events and I acted excited about her potential birthday plans, but might not be able to follow through. WIBTA for telling her I can't go abroad for her birthday and how would I go about this. | WIBTA if I didn't attend my friends birthday? | YWNBTA |
10xmgwj | I (22m) was invited by my friends to go to Europe but I refused because I’m too old and I wish I was younger to get to experience traveling out of the country. I’ll never have that experience of backpacking through Europe at 16 and that must be so fun and cool. Now I’m too old and I wouldn’t even be a young traveler. I don’t Have any experiences of me traveling and making memories at 16 and I hate myself for that. My parents really want me to go but I said no even though going to Europe is my dream.TLDR; my friend invited me out of the country but I feel rude rejecting them cause I’m too old | AITA for refusing to travel with my friends? | YTA |
10wu4mh | Names changed for obvious reasons. Jenna is my (35f) best friend and went through a divorce a couple of years ago. She struggles to be on her own and has had a string of short-lived partners since who she meets online and they often come with drama and baggage. My husband (35m) and I always support her through this and have always been there for her when she needs us. She’s been single for a little while and we’ve always said we want to go away together for a fun break. So we’ve booked an expensive 2 week holiday with my husband coming along too (they are also good friends and we do most things together as a trio). Last week, Jenna met a new man online and immediately became infatuated with him. Without discussing with us, she’s invited him on our holiday and he’s already booked his leave for this. The holiday isn’t until next year so there may be a chance that he’s not around then anyway. But there’s no way we want to go away with someone we don’t know. The 3 of us would have shared a room, meaning the cost was more manageable, but now with 2 rooms it’s more expensive. We don’t have much money or time off together, and this holiday is likely to be our last before we start trying for a baby. The last thing we want to do is spend it with a randomer who won’t be in our lives in a few months time. We want to tell Jenna that we want to cancel, but I know she will react badly. I love her but she can be quite narcissistic and I don’t feel she will understand our perspective. I may well lose her as a friend over this but I’m angry we’ve been put in this situation. Don’t get me wrong, I can see her perspective. She doesn’t want to be the third wheel. I also think she feels if she has things planned with this new man it’s more likely to last. She expects us to make an effort to get to know her boyfriend (fair enough) and thinks this should be enough to be happy going away with him. For context, she is also very well-off and works part-time. She holidays about 6 times a year so she doesn’t really see the holiday with the same significance as we do. Should we suck it up and go on this holiday? Should I tell her the truth and risk our friendship? Should we tell her we now can’t afford the holiday to save her feelings? | WIBTA if I cancelled a holiday with my friend because she wants to invite her new boyfriend? | NTA |
10wv0pu | Long story short, my wife’s parents immigrated here from another country and most of her extended family still lives in said country- I haven’t met most of them yet. We are planning to visit this country and she was telling me about her relatives there. I asked if she had any living grandparents to which she nervous laughed and said that if she did have any, I would probably know about it. She went silent and about five minutes later, said that she found it super concerning that she has spoken many times about how her grandparents on both sides have passed… and that I would not remember and still ask her this question. That she’s extremely alarmed that I haven’t listened to anything shes shared about herself over the years. It know was completely dumb of me but it was also an innocent question. I hate that it’s making her paranoid that I don’t care about her background but I also feel scolded. So, AITA? | AITA for asking my wife of two years if she has any living grandparents (forgot that she doesn’t)? | YTA |
10xbs37 | Hello everyone. A little background info: me (23F) and my partner (22M) have been together for over 4 years, living together for over 3. We have never had any serious issues regarding our household chores, I do more cleaning etc., because I'm still a student (with part time job, therefore lower income) and he's working as well as being an entrepreneur. He is an amazing cook and when we eat together, he is usually the one who cooks. This arrangement has always worked for us.Today, he sent me a TikTok with a lady saying bunch of feminist stuff (a woman in a relationship is not the man's mother and shouldn't have to clean up after him, they aren't maids, etc., he normally agrees that women should have equal rights in everything). He asked me whether I agree with one of the statements: Women don't have to cook, they don't have to enjoy it, and they don't even have to be able to cook. I said I agreed; when a single woman chooses not to bother with cooking and wants to eat out all the time I don't see how it's anyone else's business. My personal opinion isn't connected to this, I frequently cook/meal prep for myself when he's at work and eats there, or I cook both of us if needed.For some reason, when I said I agreed, he became extremely angry and said "We don't have anything to talk about together" (sounds a bit different in my language). He's still pissed three hours later and I have no idea why this is such a big deal, he just said "Everyone, men as well as women, should be able to cook". I just don't get why he's so offended, am I missing something? I feel like his reaction is irrational and I'm not used to this, normally we are able to talk through anything that bothers either of us. I don't feel like I'm in the wrong but I guess I might be based on his reaction.So, was I TA for agreeing with the statement? | AITA for telling my boyfriend women don't have to be able to cook if they don't want to? | NTA |
10wtti9 | I (23f) have a coworker (27f) from a foreign country. We have been working together for 3 months. We are not friends as she doesnt mix with everyone only a select few. Which is fine, she is not pressured. However the everyone else is a part of a bigger friend group. All of whom hang out often and go on outings, whether it be parties, road trips or just casual hangs ( we are from the caribbean so the culture is very friendly and people oriented) The company has an outing this weekend. Which she was refusing to attend with reasons like she has no clothing, the bus ride will be too long, she doesn't wanna go on a boat, what will she do when the reaches the island, she doesn't like the people in attendance,she doesnt wanna hike etc.I had offered to take her to buy clothing as I drive and can find things that are cheap as it's my home country. But she refuses saying she hasn't made up her mind. So we dropped the issue stating she has to make up her mind if shes coming and stop going in circles. But the problem is every two hours she approaches me asking if I'm going on the trip. Admittedly I was already annoyed so I responded with "for the 50th time yes I am. Please stop asking me. Are you going" to which she responded that she doesn't know. Saying her problem was that if she schedules a pick up from the company vehicles she will be there at 6( we leave at 7) and she doesn't want to sit and wait for one hour. At this point we already told her if she doesn't want to use the company vehicles, she can use a local taxi, or ask one of the dozen managers from her staff house for a ride. All of the options which she refuse. She asked if I can pick her up. My response was "No. I'm not going to pick you up. You're not going to jump in my car when it's convenient for you and out of my way for me". I said this for a few reasons:1. In the first month of her being here and constant complaining I have offered to give her rides many many times to places she was having a hard time finding or for things she needed but she always refuses saying she doesn't want a ride from me. She rather go with the company vehicle. Which is fine. I mean we just met and the country is foreign to her. But she would constantly approach me and complain instead of trying to help herself. We have tried to include her in the bigger group of activities but she always refuses (which again is fine) but you can't expect us to now go out of our way to help.2. Her approach to life irritates me. Her permanent mode is complaining and not looking for solutions. She expects everyone else to offer a solution. Which she then turns down and continues complaining. Anyways, after I said no she got upset (because apparently she has no other options) and now the rest of coworkers are saying I'm an asshole.AITA? | AITA for refusing to pick up a coworker | NTA |
10x4rxi | I have a housemate who sleeps below our kitchen and common area. I used to sleep until midday because my work lets me set my own hours and I generally need some alone time either at night or in early morning. To this end I've recently switched to a 6am start. My housemate, who gets up a little later than this (7:30am-8:30am) says the noise disturbs his sleep, and blamed me for him needing to work from home yesterday, despite originally intending to get up at 7:30ish and go into the physical office; he needed more of a lie in after my new morning routine woke him up.Our floorboards act as amplifiers, to the point where laptop keystrokes are audible in the room below. So even though my routine is reasonably quiet in the room above (preparing breakfast, opening and closing the fridge, walking between the hob and the table, etc.), I can understand that the sound is amplified from the perspective of the room below.I'm two days into this new routine and my housemate messaged me this morning to complain about the stomping and loud noises. He said that this occurrence couldn't keep happening.I brought up the amplifying effect of our floorboards, and that I was just going about a regular morning routine, trying to be as quiet as possible. I have a history of being a bit of a pushover in flat-shares, so I was compelled this time to stand my ground and avoid conceding to being excessively loud. I suggested earplugs, which I myself wear each night, and said that 6am was daytime and the common area should be good to go in daytime. He took offense to the earplugs suggestion. I also offered to swap him my upstairs room for his downstairs one, since mine doesn't experience the same amplified noises from the common area.I have flexible work, but I tried a 11am-12pm start for a year and it really messed with my MH. I feel like I need to stagger my day a few hours with my housemates, since they work from home and hang out at home in the evening. Therefore, morning or nighttime is my "alone time" in the spacious common area. This also applies for office-life. I'm in an open plan office, so an hour or two at the start of the day or the end of the day lets me spend less time in work overall. But the reasons are beside the point. We've had no problems before now, because I was getting up midway through my housemate's first shift.After I rebuffed his complaint this morning, we had a bit of a back-and-forward, which didn't really progress much. I said I'd continue getting up at 6am and that I was already trying to be as quiet as possible (which is true), and that it was my intention to start having showers around that time as well (at like 6:30). He said that earplugs were out of the question, and ignored the room swap idea.WIBTA for being loud, choosing defensiveness over making an apology, and for my current choice to continue getting up at 6am? | AITA for making noise at 6am, when housemate still asleep? | NTA |
10xa5as | Well, title says, context here. (tl;dr below)I like singing, and karaoke is the only place where I can sing through mic and express the way I want while singing.Karaoke layout : 4 small rooms/limit 2 persons, two chairs and monitor in front, space's kinda like portable toilet.Important -> You can see others in each room, your back too are expose from outside view, waiting to replace you any moment.Something's spicy here. I selected song, speakers starts booming. I start dancing around with handling mic around, overexpressing if you ask me. When selectng second song, I noticed students standing outside my room. Well, not literally outside, but leaning towards mine. I felt nervous. It's not like I wasn't before, but my logic is that the room's soundproof, everyone's here to enjoy themselves, no matter how cringe they are. Mind your own business.One of the students are someone I knew, not close So those are her friends. She makes me feel disrespected sometimes. You know, asian culture, age correlates to respect. Not into that much, But living with it through whole life does something to you.Starting second song. I noticed that they're literally waiting in front of my room, watching me overexpressing to amusing eyes, I saw them laugh too. Very embarrassed I am. Stressed too, like they wanted me to get out as fast as I can. I continued singing, dancing around as usual. Their faces are full of amusing and laughing. I feel so bad. 3 students there, 2 of them I don't recognize. Jeez, I feel like a clown.At the end, I heard one of them yell "Song's end, c'mon!" (He told those two) I got out, saying "What the hell?" with offended face. Two in front become quiet. Now there's someone I knew approach, saying hi to me. I responded, walked out feeling embarrassed. Very bad, I'll say.Then I thought, did I make others in their room feeling uncomfort? I danced around in cringy manner, but I think everyone should mind their business. But now I'm uncertain, AITA?TL;DR : Student I knew with their friends laughed at my overexpression while singing karaoke. I just want to have fun, but now I was thinking that maybe I will cause those who saw from other rooms feel uncomfortable. | AITA For overexpressing singing in soundproof karaoke? | NTA |
10x4fyw | ​I (17f) am about to finish school (I dont know how it is in your country but here its called Gymnasium and you get your "Abitur" at the end of 12th or 13th grade if you pass). When we get our Abitur there will be a school party with our class, teachers and parents. We will get our final report cards and certificate in school and then we will get to a party in the late afternoon and celebrate the fact that we finished school. There will be dancing, alcohol, etc. We as a class can decide the location of the party. The class president was told by the headmaster to dicuss and vote about it with the whole class. But she just picked the location that she and her best friend liked the most. She didnt even asked anyone else about it. The place is not that bad. Its big but the problem is that all of us will need to pay 50$ to cover the rent, drinks, etc. and its not near, like 25km away. And there were much cheaper and nearer options than this. The whole class is angry at her and we didnt know that she had already decided it for us until the headmaster annouced that the place was rented. The class president had done this before in the same year when we got to decide the place our class would make a 2 week trip to. After that a few classmates talked with her about it and she said she was sorry.Now i consider just not going the party because i am so mad at her and the place is way to overpriced.I will just get my stuff at school and leave. Some of my friends want to do the same thing and we talked with the class president that we will do it if the party would be at the location she picked. She told us that it was already rented and invitations were sent to parents and we couldnt cancel it now. When she realized that we were completly serious she was so mad and started yelling at us. She said it needs to be with the whole class to be really good and we were being childish. Then she called us assholes for doing so and left.I am sad about how everything turned out and i just want to have a nice last party with the people i spent 8 years of my life with. The friends who wont attend the party too are planning a separated party with just us. But this will not make up for the party I wished to have since a few years. I wanted it to be special. But I feel like even if I would attend the school party I couldnt enjoy it.WIBTA if i wont attend the school party? | WIBTA if I wont attend a school party because I was not included in picking the location? | NTA |
10x8hjz | So me and 5 other classmates had a discord server on which we talked, it was made about 2 or 3 months ago. We've been using it ever since. We were originally 5, but another guy joined after a while. 3 of them are some of my best friends, I'm close with them and I really like talking to them. One of them(Who we'll call Leo) is an okay person I guess. We don't talk a lot in real life, but when we do he's generally all right. Online though, he gets a bit annoying and acts as if he was superior to the rest of us. Now the last person, who I'll call Jay(not his real name) for the purpose of this post. Jay and I used to talk quite a lot, but then he started making negative comments about me, and he also said something about my girlfriend once. I assumed this was for comedic purposes, so I just let it slide. A couple of days ago, I decided that I wanted to just stop talking to whoever I don't really enjoy the company of, so I left the server. Rather fast after I left, the friend who owned the group asked me what happened. I told him that I wanted a group with only the four of us, and I didn't want anyone else. He decided that it would be best to kick the Jay and Leo regardless of me telling him not to. When he did, I told him to invite them back in since I wasn't gonna go back on that server anyways. Turns out he didn't invite them back. Now this evening I got a text from Jay telling me that I'm a coward and all that. I tried to explain to him that I don't have any problem with him or the other guy specifically(even though I don't really like them I'm not mad at them or anything I just want to distance myself), but he just kept insisting that I'm a coward and that the fact that I'm "negating" the allegations says a lot about me. Personally I don't think I'm TA but I'm curios to see if any of you think otherwise. Edit: I forgot to mention that Jay found the server: One of my friends asked Jay if he and I are mad at each other, Jay said no and asked what happened, and my friend said that I made another server. Jay asked why and my friend said that I didn't want the two of them in the server(which is not what I told him but rather what he thought would be the reason). | AITA for making a group with only 4 of my friends | NTA |
10wwo3a | My friend and I have wanted to go to travelling for a month for a while but haven't had any solid plans as I have needed to save and it's difficult for me to get a month off work. About two and a half years ago I met my current bf and we fell in love etc. He has always wanted to travel too so I invited him. Now we have started saving and formally requested leave my friend is saying she feels like a third wheel and is thinking of not going. I feel terrible and after writing this feel like I should have spoke to her beforehand but now I feel like it would be weird to un invite my bf.Aita? *** Thankyou everyone for your responses I needed it! So I spoke to my friend and she said we did discuss it beforehand, but I feel like I put her in a shitty position in the first place and that's my issue. It's going to get split so my bf meets us after 2 weeks. | AITA for inviting my bf travelling | YTA |
10wuk41 | We have this particular “sale” at work where it requires a full Efpos/POS Machine/Till setup in an offsite location (not far away, within walking distance). I work in the warehouse, although I have my own IT Company on the side, specialising in business IT setups similar to this. We’ve had this sale before, and my boss asked me to set up all these machines. I did it for him, but it took 4-5 hours away from me doing my actual job in warehouse (and I fell behind). One thing to note is that I get paid $30 an hour for my warehouse job, but I charge roughly ~ $100-125ph for my IT job. We have this “sale” coming up at work again soon, and my boss has asked me to do the IT setup again. I refused and said that if he pays me my going rate through my business (mates rates) i’ll do it in my off-work hours and he’s now annoyed at me. AITA? | AITA for refusing my bosses requests | NTA |
10xhtmp | I F13 had a bit of a fallout a few months ago because she left me for all of her cheer friends. Recently we’ve gotten closer together and she’s been wanting to hang out too, her and her ex boyfriend broke up about a year ago. Us being best friends at the time i supported her decision but I felt that her reason was very unfair to him because everytime he tried to talk to her, she got annoyed, she would tell him this so he wouldn’t talk to her but then she would get mad that he didn’t talk to her. I felt bad for him because i thought he was perfect for her. I’ve recently been talking to him because i can’t help but feel my heart flutter when I talk to him. We’ve been super close and i plan on asking him out soon but I’m a little scared that she’s going to overreact. I’ve tried giving her subtle hints that i’m wanting to date him, i was talking to her asking if i should be bothered that one of my “friends” is dating my ex boyfriend and how she would feel if she were in that situation but she always says “nobody has asked him out yet so i don’t know”. Super helpful. So AITA for wanting to ask him out? | AITA for wanting to date my ex best friends ex boyfriend? | NTA |
10x6c6x | It was November and our friend group started making plans for New Year's eve. We still live with our parents and we needed to find a place, make food arrangements and etc. The day before I talked to my friend Mary and she told me she doesn't want anything expensive because she is short on money. Next days evening we made a groupchat and Mary started acting rudely. We all searched for a place and Mary and her boyfriend didnt move a finger to help us. She needed to call an owner and she didn't because apparently she and her bf got into a fight. We all kept on searching and all Mary did was say something " this looks like a grandmas house" or " its ugly" etc. So one of my friends bf said to her that we need space to sleep and not to film ig stories. She got mad started saying that we disrespect her and make her feel bad, acted like a victim and saying sorry all the time for example " sorry that i went to take a shower" my friend (Lisa) texted her basicly teaching how to treat others. At one point she started acting really petty and entitled. And it was all because she wasn't paying a penny because Mary's bf would. So they both started leaving groupchat and made us feel bad for asking for help. So i just got mad that they left and said i don't want to spend New Year's with them if they act that way and everyone agreed. Then she got a screenshot from one of the friends. And started texting me and Lisa that that is not what friends do and send voicemails of her crying and everything. Minutes later Mary's bf texted saying to me that im an awful, two-faced person and to leave her alone. Lisa recieved something similar from both of them. So now im wondering am i really a bad friend? | AITA for leaving my friend out of my New Year's plans? | NTA |
10x613g | Hi! For background, I (15F) and my partner (15NB, let's call them Willow) got together due to one of our mutual friends telling Willow about my feelings for them without my knowledge and consent. I was understandably upset at this friend, and grew distant from them. Later on, me and Willow met a few new friends, including Alex (stand-in name, 14M) and we clicked due to a common interest in a game.After a few weeks of friendship, Alex comes to us with a dilemma. He says he's mad at another friend of his. After prompting from me and Willow, he elaborates. He made a joke about his friend's crush on a call with both the friend and her crush, and in retaliation the friend muted him and told him off. He made the excuse of the crush not hearing it. Now, due to the situation with Willow and the mutual friend, I agreed with the friend. I said she had a right to be upset, considering romantic feelings are fragile and scary. Alex says I should be siding with him, and here's the kicker; my partner agrees!I get upset because having privacy breached like that is not okay, obviously, and I say as much. My partner says I shouldn't be mad, considering it got us together and might give the friend a push in the right direction. I call Willow dense, due to the fact I was in tears (and they were aware of this) when I found out my feelings had been aired out to them and other friends I wasn't all that close with. I then tell Alex that what he did was stupid and ignorant. I was likely too harsh for sure. But, AITA? | AITA for insulting my friend and partner? | NTA |
10wporw | I [20F] and my bf [24M] have been together for a little over 3 years. He’s got a new job recently so we both work on average work 12 hours per shift. Since his new job, I felt like I haven’t gotten the same attention as before. I’m usually initiating intimacy and showing interest as before. Now he just comes home, asks for a drink nearly everyday and just lays there until bedtime. Even after we’re intimate, I have to ask for my attention and he usually makes it out to be a chore and uninterested which is a turn off for me. He doesn’t really touch me just for the sake of it anymore. When I change in front of him, he’s not in a gaze or complements often like before and just focuses on our dog purposely. Sex is a lot less often. I’m 20 for gods sake. This feels like an old marriage. I let him know I felt ignored and he just apologized and followed me everywhere around the house for the rest of the night. Sad. I understand his job requires physical labor all day so I tried withholding how I felt but it just slipped out. | AITA for being too honest | NTA |
10x5me7 | Basically I’ve been holding in for how I feel about my cousin for months. It’s been driving me insane. She is always being so condescending towards me and has a sort of a superiority complex. She always thinks she’s right about everything. I tried to ignore it and just pretend like everything is fine. But today I got fed up and couldn’t take it anymore. I’m tired of her pretending to be my mother or something as if she’s just perfect and has no flaws. I told her how I felt over text and she was furious and called me a coward for not facing her directly with my concerns. She said I was fake for holding in how I felt. But the only reason is because I didn’t want to start an argument. It got very heated and it ended with my dropping an f bomb on her and she said our relationship was over which I’m fine with. I blocked her. She lives in the same apartment complex as me so it would most likely be awkward if I ran into her again. I’m just wondering am I the asshole here for not confronting her in person over this? What’s wrong with settling it over text? | AITA For arguing with my cousin via text messages? | NTA |
10x55p6 | I smoke 2 cigarettes and have usually 2 cups of coffee a day. I tried quitting smoking last year and chose a really bad time, and lasted 3 weeks before picking up again. Since then my partner has told me they don't want me to smoke more than 2 cigarettes a day. However because of the way addiction works, it often leaves me feeling deprived. So sometimes when he's not around I'll have a sneaky cigarette or two.I know I need to quit but know how hard it is too. I also know it needs to be your own decision to stop.Now my partner has had to cut out caffeine due to health reasons, and I usually have a coffee in the morning and again in the afternoon. My partner has been trying to get me to have a decaff in the afternoon instead. And I've put up a bit of a fight too, I enjoy my afternoon coffee especially when I'm working.Anyway, most days in the evening I want to smoke, and have some resentment to my partner for not allowing me to. I feel deprived of the 'pleasures' of my day. So I've tried to express this, but obviously from their point of view it's stupid because all they're trying to do is help me be healthier. We've had a little bit of a fight because of it. But I feel guilty now pushing them away when all they did was cared enough to try and help. I guess it's just that little addict part of my brain fighting back and panicking that the stimulants will be taken away.We've been together for 8 years but I've usually been able to do whatever I want, so being told I'm not allowed to feels like I'm being controlled and I'm not allowed to do things or make my own decisions. So.. am I the asshole for getting upset and feeling controlled because of this? | AITA for wanting to continue my bad habits? | NTA |
10wshp0 | Hi! Late night thoughts have plagued me to reflect on recently learning that some of my friends have not liked my vents about work. For context, there are a few friends I work with although not directly with, that we will often joke, ask advice, and definitely bitch to each other about stuff. Lately, I noticed one particular friend A continue to make snide comments about how I am a gossip or even go as far to compare me to Regina George from "Mean Girls"...masked by jokes or Lmfaos. I'm realizing it's not quite so much a joke anymore if she keeps mentioning that. The thing is, none of our petty gossip or bitching is one-sided, and maybe I can understand if it is a little too much for someone at one time, but I would rely on my friends to check me if it was too much. I understand that constant negativity can weigh on someone. I feel that it is an unfair judgment, and I am being branded as a "mean girl"bc my tone is more ghetto and candid, vs hers is more PC. This is a friend who I've known since college and outside of work, so that's why I felt like we could trust each other to be honest and candid with. I'm just a little upset at the hypocrisy of it. We celebrate good things too, but it feels like only our rants is being highlighted. I asked our mutual friend if I bitched/shit talk too much in our shared group chat, and he didn't think so. TL:DR - Am I the Asshole for Venting to our friends, in reciprocation to their venting too. Does that make me as a gossip? | AITA: Venting to My Friends | NTA |
10wscsp | My (35M) good friend Abe (31M) is a professional dancer who struggles financially. He doesn't make a lot of money, and has a lot of financial responsibility: He has 3 kids (8,6,4), from 2 different women. They don't live with him. 8yo lives with his mother. The other two lost their mother last year in a car accident and now live with their maternal grandparents. Abe doesn't have the space or time to take care of them, but he still sends money for school and other stuff. During the pandemic, he lost his dancing gig and really struggled financially, but things are a little bit more stable now. He is very responsible with money but doesn't make enough to support his kids or have them come live with them. Abe is a very smart guy, he taught himself English and has worked on small electric installations projects without prior training (not very safe, I know, but the point is he learns very quickly). I want to suggest to him to go back to school. Dancing is not a very long-time career where we live in Africa, so I wanted to suggest he goes back to school to get his school diploma, go to college at night, and get a driving license. I feel like it would give him a lot more options in the future. I would even be inclined to support the schooling financially if he is willing to discuss a plan (There are some inexpensive options here). I don't know how to bring it up though. When I ask what he wants to do in the future, he is very vague about it, and generally doesn't want to into those conversations. I am afraid it might come off as condescending or patronizing. (I admit I have acted like that in the past with other people). It might seem unrealistic to him to go back to school, and I don't want to come off as tone-deaf. I have a high education degree, and a stable job, so naturally, this is my first thought, but maybe not everyone wants to do that. We also had minor fights about money in the past, when I used to lend him some, and we decided to remove that from our relationship, but we still tiptoe around the subject, and can't talk about how much we spend on things without it getting awkward. WIBTA to meddle in this life like this? I mean I, myself, hate unsolicited advice and feel like I might not like it if someone made a suggestion like this telling me this is what you should do with your life. On the other hand, I feel like, as his friend, I should at least bring it up, especially since I am also willing to help with money if he let me. What do you think? | WIBTA if I suggest to my friend that he goes back to school | YWBTA |
10x89bq | My SO recently moved to Germany and is taking an intensive language course (currently level A2.2-B1.1) which costs 500 euros. The course is 2.5 months long, 4 days a week, 4 hours per day. My SO told me multiple times since the course began a few weeks ago that the teacher often explains things in English or says the English translation for a new German word if the class doesn't seem to get it right away (instead of explaining the new word or concept using other more simple German words). I suggested to speak up and ask the teacher directly to please refrain from using English so they can be immersed and learn German more quickly. It is an "intensive course" after all.My SO is very non-confrontational though and didn't feel confident enough to say anything. I had offered to write an email before and there was no major pushback against the idea, but I wanted to wait and see first if things could be resolved between student and teacher.Well, after three weeks of classes and hearing more complaints about English in the classroom, I took it upon myself to write an email to the school. I kept it polite and objective. I mentioned that when I took German classes years ago, there wasn't a word of English spoken the entire time, and that's how it should be. I got a reply to my email thanking me for the tip and that they will talk to the teacher and find a solution.Now my SO is mad at me. We're in a big argument because my SO is paranoid that the teacher will somehow make an enemy out of them now (I asked the school to keep the source of the complaint anonymous). It's blown way out of proportion in my opinion. I'm accused of going over my SO's head, being disrespectful, crossing personal boundaries, ignoring their wishes to solve the problem in their own way. But I just did what I think was the right thing to do. There are like 10 people in the class, all from different countries, and not even all of them speak English so what the hell. | AITA for writing an email to my SO's German language school because the teacher was speaking in English too often? | YTA |
10wrxt6 | My stomach hurts really bad and I’m not sure what the cause is, I just moved into a college dorm room where I share the bathroom with one other person. I’ve been out all day at work and have just come home in the late afternoon and am having really bad shits. I don’t usually take long, so this is the first time. In general do roommates understand or do u think my roommate will get mad at me? We also have a ton of toilets in the building on the common floors, I used the one in the apartment because I was in the bathroom just about to take a shower when I realised I really needed to go. Any advice is helpful as I’m new and learning to navigate shared situations.EDIT: Thanks for the help, it was a genuine question and im glad that a situation like this is generally understood. | AITA for taking ages in a shared bathroom when I have diarrhea? | NTA |
10xa2ad | My roomamte (22Nbi) and I(22FtM) are in a theater group. A group if us were talking about role changes but admittedly I dissociated hard during this conversation, one of the younger boys (16-isk I think) noticed and thought it was hilarious that my brain "doesn't work". My roommate was laughing with him and said "Your 3 brain cells probably think the same thing" (something along those lines, I really just wasn't present for it but that what they told me). When I came back to we were all laughing about me not being able to think all the time. Then, when we got home all hell broke lose. That boys mom (who was there for all of this) blocked me and went off on my roommate, apparently sending multiple paragraphs about how her son has a learning disability and she can't belive how cruel we could be to him when they've all been nothing but nice to us. Idk, I'm confused and my head is spinning trying to peace together what actually happened. What do yall think? Also, what do I do about rehearsal tonight? My roommate wants to drop the play and I'm not sure if I want to or not??? I'm just confusedETA: Went to rehearsal tonight, everything went well. The mom didn't speak to me, her sons and even her wife still did. I don't feel as conflicted now. I belive my roommate shouldn't of said what they did, but also the mom did overreact a bit and I was just there lol. | AITA for what my roomamte said while i was dissociated? | NTA |
10wy5ud | we will call ms witch (not her real name). ms witch is not a nice teacher whatsoever to any student in the class. her reputation in our class is the worst and no one likes her, everybody insults her every chance they get away from her. she has made more than 6 or more girls cry all of which are girls that I never saw cry even though they get yelled at in other classes. my history with this teacher is basically 4 times crying last year & 4 times this year & a few times yelling at me for reasons I never knew of. she is not the best but that's adjustable. but she picks out a crying child from the class and calls them out humiliating them in front of the entire class (mind you we are 37 students in 1 class).know that her history of doing this is out of the way, let's get into the real problem of today.it was math class ( 2 continuous classes), and ms witch asked us to take out the paper we solved in morning. no problem! . second question she asked me to explain and I wrote the correct answer despite there being no calculation, claiming I did it in my head even though we have solved this before in class. the question was:find the increase or decrease percentage if, Selling price = 250 and COST PRICE= 240A. 4 1/4% profit. B. 10% loss. C. 4 1/6% profit. D.10% profitthe answer is C.because I didn't know the correct formula for this question she mentioned that I write imposition of that formula and continued explaining the question and making assumptions about not knowing anything. she has always had an impression that I was a dumb math student and that the only thing I'm good at is art. fair enough, right after she told me to sit down I started writing the imposition that Profit % = profit /COST PRICE x 100, (i assumed that I was meant to write in class as she didn't give that kind of details in class) in the first I wrote it in pink ink 20 times as per her request, and then I realized that she might yell at me for that too, so I wrote in blue ink 27 times just in case( i lost count of how many times I was writing). in-between, she called out my name and a few others asking if we were listening and I showed her my book writing the imposition she gave me. likely to say she was not pleased. she started yelling that she asked me to do it at home even though she didn't and sarcastically remarked of me saying what an obedient child writing the imposition immediately after I'd been told and that too in the class. why she yelled in the first part is understandable, because I can't multitask listening to her even though she is slow at everything, and writing my imposition at the same time. but to make fun of me for your mistake as a teacher and that too in front of the whole class. At the end that left me confused and pissed. that would be the end of the story but she humiliated another student with the most puzzling and unfitting reason ever and made her cry in the SAME period. i do feel like an AH for writing in class, so aita for writing imposition in class? | AITA for writing imposition in class? | NTA |
10wsknd | (For reference, there is no p3d0ph1l1a whatsoever)I, (17 Non-Binary), attend a Sixth Form in the UK (a college equivalent for the Americans) and I study History and English Language. I have multiple teachers for each part of the courses I study.For reference, in history I am learning about Religious Conflict in Tudor England and Tsarist and Communist Russia. One of my teachers, for privacy reasons will be called Mrs. S, gives an impression of disliking me.And no, it’s not that typical feeling of me not liking her. She really doesn’t like me. And I’m not sure why. I haven’t done anything to her.I have troubles with my memory so I’ll list all the things I can remember her doing that explicitly give me said-impression:1. She goes out of her way to help the other kids in my class but not me.2. She doesn’t look at me in the eye at all. Like at all. She’ll go whole lessons ignoring me.3. She doesn’t utter a word to me in lessons. Rarely, it’s about two or three words. (One instance involved her handing me some work and asking if I was okay and saying okay the second i opened my mouth to speak)4. She actively avoids the back of the class (where I typically sit) in any classroom we are in (we don’t have a set classroom).5. Her marking on my work does not involve or feature any constructive feedback, rather snarky criticism, especially on the recent mock exams we’ve had back (I know she marked it because I recognised her handwriting).6. She nitpicks and exploits any little mistake I make on my class work and my homework. (For context, she teaches the Religious Conflict part of the history curriculum and she had a starter activity in class and one of the questions was naming all of the Tudor monarchs and she belittled me for forgetting about Lady Jane Grey).7. When I am absent from lessons (I have autism and anxiety for reference and when I am late to lesson it makes it difficult for me to go into a lesson), she doesn’t mark me down as being there nor does she bother to alert the senior staff that I am absent from lesson.8. She gives the other kids in the class help but doesn’t give me help despite my attempts to ask for help. As of yesterday, we received the results of our mock exams and I got a U in history (which means that the exam is considered unmark-able) and not gonna lie it really stung. I revised my ass off for the history exams and somehow I still failed. This has nothing to do with why I reported her.Last night, my mother sent an email to my head of year, requesting a meeting in-school about the situation. As I type this, I am currently in a mental health place in school to avoid any confrontation between myself and her.I have been wondering if reporting her was too extreme and if I went too far? So AITA?UPDATE:Hi all. Thanks for the comments, some positive and some negative. I liked seeing both sides of the argument as to whether I was the asshole or not. My head of year (who is also one of my English teachers) has confirmed that she received my mum’s email and has asked whether I would like to be moved to the other history class in my year, I have confirmed that I would like to.For those of who you who said that I am the asshole, I should mention that I am aware that she might not have intentionally made me upset. I appreciate your opinions, with the exception for one user who took their time to send a very lengthy and nasty message to me. I have ignored the message and deleted it. Thanks all. | AITA for reporting a teacher? | NTA |
10x3ok2 | I didn't know what else to put in the title but this is some classic high-school drama so here we goI, 16, in a friend group. Recently we added someone new to school named Carly. Carly is also friends w another group of friends that's your usual popular kids group so she isn't as close to us anymore.There is also Matt another new guy in class. For anyone needing it, we're almost the end of our school year. Carly and Matt are close, along with some other friends. For a while now and from time to time, we make some comments about Matt that's scene as making fun of. And honestly, I don't even mean most of it, it's just for fun. Our group leans over to the "disliking" Matt more than liking, even tho we're on the Grey area. We don't talk crap about him a lot, just sometimes his haircut some other cringe stuff but nothing more. The reason why is cause he's constantly acting very assaulty with our friend Nathan. Another reason is cause he and his boy friends cause a lot of trouble in our class (giving our class bad rep) and that he says a lot of slurs. Just a few hours ago, one of our friends, Kyle dmed me and told me one of us in the group snitched to one of Matt's close friends, Luke, about us making fun of Matt by sending a cropped screenshot of one of our group conversations in their own gc. Now this panicked me cause I don't like a lot of drama and I didn't wanna cause a fight. We talked a bit and we came to the conclusion that Carly snitched cause she's super close with Matt and Luke. I'm not planning to confront her, just to simply have a meeting with my other friends and delete all our messages, then act like nothing happen and to just not repeat it.But this got me wondering, was AITA for making fun of him? I don't like him but he's a good guy and treats everyone well. He's just very dislikable to us. And most our insults was mostly about his bowlcut, a few of his posts, etc etc, nothing way too deep and calling him names. I'm not trying to justify anything, just saying that cause I think it isn't a huge deal. AITA? | AITA for causing problems and more drama? | YTA |
10xv5qo | my daughter who is 27 is getting married in August. She hasn't invited my wife or our children. I'm very hurt and I told her that since my family wasn't welcome, I shouldn't be welcome too. She was angry with me and has called me crying saying that I'm an ah for doing this to her since who is going to walk her down the isle? My daughter was a happy child until she was 13 and her mum and I divorced. She was devastated and we did everything from therapy etc. She couldn't fathom what was going on since we were a happy family. I met my beautiful wife 4 years later and it was the second blow to her, since she lived with the hope that her mum and I would reconcile. She never liked my wife even with the effort from the later to have a relationship. Now my wife and our small children aren't welcome to her wedding. Every one else is invited including her mums new BF and his sons. She Told me that she was free to invite whoever she wanted on her big day and I totally agree with her and support her decision but then Shouldn't I also be free to decline the invitation? Why am I being the AH here? | AITA for telling my daughter that I won't be attending her wedding? | NTA |
10xr5u1 | I'm using a throwaway because I'm honestly embarrassed by this situation. Growing up my parents were very sex positive. Which is great for them and my siblings. For me, not so much. I'm an introvert and I prefer to keep my private live well private. Think Sheldon Cooper with less raw sex appeal. Somehow I managed to meet a woman who loves me and we started a relationship in university. When I brought her home to meet my parents they were all over themselves saying how they were cool with us sharing a bed in their house. We hadn't been together yet. I was mortified and my girlfriend, at the time, couldn't stop blushing. We stayed in my room but just for sleep. We have been married for a few years now and we are comfortable with each other and our intimate life is healthy, for us. We just had our first child and my parents asked if they could visit to meet their grandbaby. We said sure. The first night though was terrible. The bed in the guest bedroom isn't even up against a shared wall and we could hear everything. I don't want to hear everything. I don't want to hear anything. My wife thinks I'm being ridiculous and that it's lovely that a married couple in their fifties still has that attraction and energy. I talked to them in the morning before I left for work and asked if they could please not do that on my home. Or if they could at least do it when I'm not around. They said I'm being a pride and that isn't how they raised me. I said that I was allowed to feel how I did in my own home so I said if they want to do that they can stay at a hotel or do it when I'm not home. They are staying with my brother who lives in the same city as I do. He called me up to say I was being a dick imposing rules on my parents that they didn't have for us. I told him to mind his own business. Now my sisters are calling me for the same reason. I'm thinking of just blocking all of them. I think I have the right to be comfortable in my own home. AITA? | AITA for asking my parents to either stay at a hotel or to not have sex in my house while I'm home? | NTA |
10xvwjd | I (24F) have psoriasis, it’s all over my body and presents like vitiligo in a way, just so you can get an image in your head. I have medicated cream that helps with the itchiness, and also it helps with the dryness. The psoriasis is all over my body with it stopping right on my neck, and I do have a few spots on the sides of my face near my ears. I’ve always been pretty embarrassed as I cannot cake on enough makeup to truly cover my psoriasis as it is textured and thick, and on top of that, no matter what I do or however I attempt to apply said makeup it always looks horrible, my doctor also recommended not to smother the areas with makeup as it tends to make it worse and itchier. Anyways, onto the story. My friend's wedding was on Saturday and of course, I was invited. I bought a dress that would cover my body fairly well as I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. The entire week leading up to the wedding I was continuously testing concealers on the remaining spots that were exposed, which only made me itchy and I basically scratched my skin raw. With psoriasis, those areas sometimes bleed if I scratch too much, which is what happened. My boyfriend who was attending the wedding with me told me I shouldn’t worry about it and that it would be better if I stopped trying to cover them as it was just making it worse. I reluctantly agreed, and we attended the wedding ceremony. It was great, I was extremely happy for my friend and her now husband. But as we were leaving to go to cocktail hour, she pulled me aside and asked if I was going home to cover my psoriasis. I was a little taken aback and explained I couldn’t as the entire week I had been testing concealers and it made it 20 times worse. She told me she didn’t care and that this was her wedding and she didn’t want her guests asking me questions or feeling queasy during dinner. My boyfriend stepped in and told her if that was the case we would be leaving and not attending the rest of the wedding. She was pissed off and extremely angry at that choice, and ever since then she’s been ranting to our friends about it. AITA here? | AITA for leaving my "friends" wedding when she told me I needed to cover up my psoriasis? | NTA |
10xx3yv | One of my husband’s best friend is getting married in a month. Both he and his ex were asked to be in the respective wedding parties. His ex and him share a child and him and I share a child. While I don’t have an issue with them being in the bridal party together, I do have an issue with them being paired to walk down the aisle. They could easily switch up who walks who, but for some reason they seem adamant on having them walk together. Everyone in the bridal party are all old friends and often talk about times that he and his ex were together fondly. To me it seems like a calculated decision. Not only does it seem unnecessary to have them walk together but it seems inconsiderate. AITA for saying that if they are to walk together, I won’t attend the wedding? | AITA for telling my husband that if he walks his ex down the isle at a friends wedding, I won’t go? | NTA |
10xtpv6 | i (22f) dorm on campus. our rooms are assigned by the dorm admins. last semester i lived next to a girl who openly told me that she thought i was very good looking (in an admiration way, not romantic) and asked if i was on any diets. i said no, i just eat whatever i want. do i gym? nope but i wish i did since i don't have time, and my roommate at the time jokingly added on that i eat cinnabon almost everyday (i do).fast forward to this semester, new room assignments given, i become roommates with the neighbor. i thought it was going fine but today she blew up at me when i got home and started yelling at me over how i lied to her. i asked her what she meant, and she said that she took my "advice" and stopped going to the gym and started eating what she wanted but started gaining weight. she said i set up her up to fail by lying to her about being "effortlessly pretty" and said she'd expose me for it since now she has "insider info" that i eat vegetables and workout and that she's never seen me eat a cinnamon bun.i clarified that yes, i do eat whatever i want, but i grew up on a cabbage farm and vegetables are the only things i know how to cook. also, vegetables are super cheap here and are the only things i can afford with my part time job at a cinnabon, which gives me free cinnamon buns every shift, which i eat on lunch breaks. and i mentioned that yes, i don't have time to gym because i'm always at training, i'm on the uni's taekwondo team. and what i said was not advice, i thought she was just trying to make conversation.she yelled at me some more until i guess one of the neighbors called for a safety check because security came to check on us, and she went to bed without talking to me. i do feel bad, i think i may have misled her by not clarifying my lifestyle and people have mentioned i'm bad at reading social cues, so maybe she was asking for advice. i didn't mean for all this to happen. aita?edit:"why didn't you tell her more about your lifestyle/why did you omit info?"at the time the first convo happened, it was the first week of school and we were heading down the elevator. i didn't really know her and the ride was less than a minute so i tried to answer to be polite, but also be brief so i didn't get cut off before we parted. "you should've known she was asking for advice!" yes, i should've, but i honestly didn't interpret it that way which is why i'm wondering if i'm TA."how did she find out?"i think she found out what i ate because i bulk cook twice a week, and then found out i train because my team likes posting training videos on instagram and i add it to my stories when tagged. we swapped ig's when we became roommates. me working at cinnabon i think she only found out when i told her since i change in and out of uniform at the branch. "were you intentionally misleading her?"no dear god i'm just a private person who's bad with social cues, which sometimes translates to being a dick"why are you trying to be one of those girls who's effortlessly pretty"i don't think i am? i don't hide growing up on a cabbage farm, and i can't hide me being in taekwondo because i compete on national levels. | AITA for not clarifying my lifestyle to my roommate? | NTA |
10xqr6k | English is not my first language so sorry if there is lot wrong with my grammar. I lost my right eye to cancer in my earlier teens it was a struggle to adapt but 13 years later and I am pretty much used to it. Now I hate wearing a prosthetic eye. I have 3 prosthetic eyes I have gotten over the years but due To scar tissue in my eye socket that healed werid the prosthetics rubs agaist it and make me incredibly uncomfortable. So I usually just wear a eye patch instead. This obviously bring the attention of most people. Over the 13 year I gotten some what used to people asking about it. But I still find it annoying. It's not so much the asking how I lost my eye that bugs me. it is the fact that everytime when I give a short answer to that question basically just telling then I had cancer people start asking rather personal question about it.These people asking are not friends they are not people I know beside seeing them in class or on campus.I personally don't get why people think it ok to go up and ask someone you don't know something so personal.So when I ended up transferring to a new university and I just didn't want to deal with all that again. So I started making up weird stories as to how I lost my eye. One that made people uncomfortable enough not to dig any further. I figure if they felt they had the right to make me feel uncomfortable then why shouldn't I be able to do the same to them.So as the time when on and people kept asking about it. the stories as to how I lost my eye became more and more ridiculous. I'm honestly shock people believed half of them. For example I actually told someone that It was because my sister poked it out with a pencil when I was a kid and our dog ate it. Yeah someone actually believe that. Well eventually everyone found out the stories I been telling are not true and now a few people are mad.One of my friends think I went to far but honestly I just don't get why people think they deserve the back story to someone else trauma. I'm not a tv show character here for you entertainment. I'm a person who had to completely change her life to adapt and it wasn't easily. AITA for making up ridiculous stories as to how I lost my eye because I'm tried of people asking | AITA for making up ridiculous stories as to how I lost my eye because I'm tried of people asking | NTA |
10xtx35 | I (m19) work in retail. A man came yesterday shortly before we closed. He started asking me for some stuff like where they were and such, nothing weird. I went to the back to do some cleaning and stuff we close, my coworker (f20) stayed there with him. After like 15 minutes I start hearing some screaming so I rushed back in to find out the customer was yelling at my coworker because she "stole his wallet". I tried to calm him down, told him that maybe it fell from his pocket and I'll help him find it but he was not having it. He started to yell at me too, so I told my coworker to call the cops. When they came (quite quickly) the man (who I forgot to add was old) started grabbing his chest and telling the cops that we were trying to steal from him, and he also demanded to get his stuff for free because we stole his money. The police arrested him.I feel very shitty tbh, my friend also told me that if he was old I could've just kick him out which is true, maybe calling the police on him was too much. It's my first job so maybe I exaggerated because I don't know how to react in these kind of situations. | AITA for calling the police on a customer who won't leave the store? | NTA |
10xwnmw | Possibly too petty to be an AITA but curious what others think. My wife was packing my son's lunch and she asked me to grab some crackers. As I was looking in the pantry I asked what kind of crackers and she replied in an exasperated bordering on annoyed voice "just pick any cracker". The next cracker box I saw were animal crackers, so I grabbed those and started to put them in a bag for her. Even more annoyed now, she said, "I said crackers, not cookies". I said that animal crackers literally have 'crackers' in the name, and if she wanted a certain type of cracker she should have specified. We bickered for a bit and then she very confidently declared "ask anyone, they'll agree". I think she ITHA, but was she right? | AITA? "Just pick any cracker" she said | YTA |
10xslsp | Hi -To make a long story short, I own my condo/townhome and there is an adjoining unit on each side. For about two years, there has been an intermittent chemical smell emanating from the left unit wall. This has been anything from rubbing alcohol, to sweet peppery chemicals, to skunk, to ammonia and more. It stopped for a while, but two weeks ago it came back so bad that the two units on my right side actually completely evacuated for multiple days. We did not have that option, so we had to sleep on the living room floor with the windows open, vents closed, and no heat for over a week. I have been addressing this with the HOA since it started and they have been less than helpful. When the evacuation happened two weeks ago, I went to the office with 6 other involved neighbors to seek help/guidance. HOA management told each of us individually that we needed to check for dead animals again - an elderly lady in our row feeds wildlife, and because of this neither Animal Control or the local fire department will come investigate. Weird, not helpful, but okay. No dead animals, no source of gas leaks in our properties. It went away, we’re good.Well, I was woken up to the exact same smell combination at 2 am today. It’s getting worse as time goes on. Would I be the asshole if I went against the HOA and called the fire department anyway?I feel like that’s a stupid question, but the HOA has made me really feel like I would be doing something wrong if I did. | WIBTA if I called the fire department anyway? | NTA |
10xqugt | Background: I (18) am an art student. My sister (16) has a GF (16). I share a small office with Sister. I currently live at home with my parents, but am moving out before/around May of this year. A few days ago, I was drawing a new character while Sister and her GF were on video call. My sister does this via computer and usually has her headphones in, so I can’t hear GF.Sister noticed my drawing. She said my character looked weird. I said that I didn’t mind, this was supposed to be a weird character. I was glad the intended vibes were felt.GF got curious and asked what I was doing. Sister’s camera was angled away from me, so GF couldn't see. At best, GF saw the back of my head or my chair. When Sister told her I was drawing, GF suddenly became interested too. Sister said that GF wants to see my art.I said “I’m not really comfortable”, the drawing wasn’t done, it didn’t look good, it was just experimental, I wasn’t proud of it, it wasn’t my usual style, etc.— but they didn’t take no for an answer. Every time I shot it down, Sister would ask me again because GF REALLY wanted to see. We had a back and forth of “I don’t want to”/“Why not? Just show it”. Sister told me to show something else since I didn’t like what I was working on. “Those aren’t done either”/“just show something”. 10 minutes of begging later, I caved. I showed them a more finished drawing.They demanded a second. I caved again, and didn’t fight it that time since I knew they would just keep nagging.Sister disconnected her headphones for me to hear GF go “Wow, those are really good, did you trace?”Tracing other people’s art is a HUGE no-no, basically “art-theft”. It’s super disrespectful and frowned upon unless you’re a beginner looking for practice.I understood the comment as: GF thinks that this is a good piece— but because I made it, then it “must’ve been stolen”, because she didn’t think I was capable.Her comment pushed a button I didn’t even know I had. I said,“I’m a college-art student. I’ve drawn my whole life and I sell commissions. I don’t need to trace.”I will admit— that was a bad response but it was the best I could come up with on the spot. I should’ve phrased it better but the words were already out of my mouth. I just felt like I needed credibility to prove myself— to a high-schooler. Yikes…Sister got offended, saying “It was only a compliment,” as she plugged her headphones back in. They both glared. On the screen I could see GF was talking, but I turned away and went back to drawing. Sister pointed her phone at my computer a few times and I got uncomfortable. I stayed quiet, though. It wasn’t worth it to ask.Sister eventually hung up. Before I left to make dinner, I asked her to make sure her GF didn’t have any screenshots of my art. They didn’t have any water marks on them yet and I didn’t trust GF. My sister scoffed and got even more offended. Reddit, was my anger ok, or AITA?[EDIT: By “trace” I mean plagiarism.] | AITA For Taking A Supposed-Compliment As An Insult? | NTA |
10xvw70 | 3 weeks ago I gave my mother a beanie I had knitten for her, last week I saw her unraveling it and knitting it again... This means she undid my gift and "did it right", it made me feel bad but I said nothing to her back then, and planned to say nothing but never knit anything for her again. Today, she was opening a bag I had tied with a knot and said something like "sorry to ruin your masterpiece" and giggled, and this triggered me.. It reminded me of the beanie, and I said to her something like "wow, you just love to undo anything I do I guess..." she looked confused, and then I said "like the beanie I knitted for you, you just had to undo it... I'm never going to knit anything for you ever again" She got upset, said I was misunderstanding the situation, that she loved the beanie but didn't fit correctly, and she was trying to do it again so she could actually wear it, that I was rude of me to say I would never knit anything for her ever again... And proceeded to stop talking to me. So.. AITA? | AITA for saying I would never knit something for my mother again? | NTA |
10xywtv | I (52M) have a wife (46F), daughter Emily (29F) and two sons (18M and 16M). We adopted our daughter when she was 12 so we have not known her as long as my sons. We operate a small grocery store in the area and our finances are relatively OK.When my daughter turned 18, we offered her to keep staying with us and help out with the store but she did not want to do that and chose to go to college out of state. I can understand as it was a prestigious school. We did not pay for her education but she never asked and seemed to manage fine, I think she got some grants but also took some loans which I assume were forgiven or paid off.I do not know her finances but she seems to be doing well, she has worked for many large tech companies, recently got a nice house (not super large but very modern and new), drives a nice car and dresses really fashionably. She has no partner and kids so i assume she can save a lot. We have always been on good terms.I bought my elder son a car when he was 17, plan to do the same for my younger son, and help them both out to get a start in life by paying their college and giving them a down payment for a house each.My daughter never complained about not getting these and she had a good childhood since we adopted her and a nice house to live in. Recently she learned of our intention to give my elder son a down payment when he finishes college and ever since while we still see her and even go to her place, my wife and I feel like she is acting curt towards us so I feel there might be some resentment. But I do not see how I could really help her since she already has these things, does not plan to have kids unlike my sons, and is much more likely to earn more from her major than my sons (unless they take over our store someday). Obviously our bond is a little different since she was adopted as an older child but we still love her like our own.AITA | AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a down payment and a car after she already has both of these. | YTA |
10xr06v | I don't think I'm the asshole in this situation but I wanted to check. My husband and I (both men) have recently become parents to a gorgeous set of twins, a boy, and a girl. We've had a few ups and downs as normal parents do but we love the new additions to our family and have been obsessing over them. This past weekend we had our first outing with a few friends and brought the twins with us. All of our friends were gooing over the cuties, I knew most of them, but there was a girl or two that I believe was a friend of one of them. We were all having a lovely time and the twins were behaving, some of our friends were asking us questions about how raising them was going and a few other things. After everything was good, one of my friends asked, "With them being twins how can you tell them apart?" I laughed at the statement, and everyone else did too once they realized the irony of the question. I think responded, "Well I suppose the best way would be to pull their pants down and have a look." No one seemed to have an innate probably with it, but one of the girls seemed uncomfortable, when I brought it up, she called me disgusting for making such a joke about infants and was encouraging.. things, towards children with such a statement(not specifying for obvious reasons). I told her it was a joke and I didn't appreciate being told I was putting my children in danger. It was back and forth for a few minutes before she storms off screaming profanity at me. All my friends are on my side, but I'm wondering if maybe my joke was inappropriate about my kids. | AITA for making an 'inappropriate' directly towards my babies? | NTA |
10xy9iu | Important context: getting married this summer. Only invited people both me and my fiancé know well, there are no plus ones, only named invitees. So some new partners aren’t invited. But long-standing ones we know well are. My male cousin took offence to this, he has been with his gf just over 6 months, we have never met her. I grew up with this cousin and was quite close, though don’t see each other that often now due to job demands. He told his mum (my auntie) when he received the invite “tell her I’m not going if gf isn’t.” My auntie told my mum, who told me. I reached out to him after some Reddit advice asking to talk, got left on read. texted a few days later “just let me know when works for you” as a reminder, left on read. When it became clear I wasn’t gonna get a response I texted “I’m really sorry if your feelings have been hurt, I’d love us to be able to talk about it &come to an understanding”. Nothing, so I left it. So last week, RSVP deadline approaching. This cousin is one of 6 - older bro & sis,1 younger sis who is a bridesmaid aged 15, and younger twin bros. I sent his older brother (again, a cousin I’ve been really close with) a gentle reminder to rsvp, he replied straight away saying oh yeah. I then asked if his bro was ok as hadn’t heard from him. Then this cousin launches into a whole rant about how he is totally on his brothers side, I’ve really upset him, that if his brother isn’t going neither is he and his gf (of 10 years). I was distraught. Sent screenshots to my mum who was trying to calm me down and said forget about it, if they don’t want to come that’s on them. Then I start thinking, will older sis come. She was the only one on that side of the fam to RSVP so far and said yes. So again, I sent a text saying hi, just wanted to double check, I’ve heard cousin A and B aren’t coming because we can’t invite cousins gf. As you’ve already RSVPed I just wanted to check you’re coming even if they aren’t? To which I got a similarly upsetting reply about how horrible I’d been not inviting her, she’s totally on her bros side but still wanted to come to see her little sis be a bridesmaid. I’d kept it together all day but I erupted in tears. sent screenshots to my mum who replied saying she is absolutely raging and is uninviting the entire lot of them and not to engage with them. The older female cousin texted my mum to “grow up”. I got sent home from work on compassionate leave a mess - my dad picked me up.So here’s where IMBTA. My 15F cousin, who has no involvement, will now have been told from her mum she’s not a bridesmaid, not going, and I feel SO BAD. I love her and she’s done nothing wrong. She was excited to be one. I was thinking about reaching out to say as far as I’m concerned she can still be one - but in truth I don’t think her mum would let her anymore and it just feels like completely unfair collateral damage. But this is really hanging over me. AITA?EDIT #1: so everyone seems to be passing judgement on whether or not I was wrong to not invite my cousins girlfriend. Which was not the point of the post. If you would desperately like to pass judgement on that, please see my previous AITA post and go crazy. I am really just wondering on what Reddit thinks about the situation with my little cousin. | AITA for letting my mum go nuclear on her sisters family and causing collateral damage? | NTA |
10xq0vd | I (F30) recently had surgery on my jaw after a bad accident, and have unfortunately ended up with quite a lot of nerve damage. The surgeon said my nerve was quite close to the bone and the shattered pieces pierced the nerve in places. I cannot feel my entire bottom lip, my chin, and part of my cheek. It is unlikely that this will improve.My husband (M35) has been an absolute gem. He has been looking after everything and making sure that I am eating nutritious food. Due to the nerve damage, I am really struggling to eat normally and end up dribbling most liquid-y food despite that being pretty much all I can eat. Imagine trying to eat soup after getting those numbing injections at the dentist.My absolute favourite food in the world is a biscuit and a cup of tea, especially ginger nut biscuits. For those who don't know, ginger nuts are rock hard and are spiced with ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc. I have been craving these like you won't believe, but my husband is not a baker. Instead, he asked my mom (F61) to make some for me especially as she knows how I like them.Unfortunately for me, even dipped in tea, the biscuits are too hard for my jaw. My husband suggested that we steam them. Obviously steamed biscuits do not have an amazing texture, but I felt like I could finally have something nice that wasn't liquid-based. They were also much easier to eat than liquids because I don't need much lip control.My mom came over yesterday and saw a steamed pile of biscuits. She initially could not figure out what had happened to them until my husband explained that this was the only way I can eat them. To say she hit the roof is an understatement.For reference, my mom was a professional baker and said that her craft has never been so disrespected. She said she will never make another thing for us if this is how we treat her food.It didn't even occur to me that this would be wrong, at least I am able to eat the biscuits and appreciate them, but mom texted me saying she will not be making my son's 5th birthday cake, as previously agreed, due to our behaviour. For any bakers (or non bakers with an opinion) out there, was this a baking sin and were we disrespectful? | AITA for steaming my mom's home baking and disrespecting her craft? | NTA |
10xwhbb | My mom and i have had a very tense relationship for the past few years. We argue constantly and never seem to go more than a week without having a fight. Its gotten worse now that imabout to move away for college. Mainly the arguments are about how she treated me while i was growing up and how what she did hurt me. It goes back and forth for hours and she doubles down on how im overreacting and how she tried her best to be the best mom she could be. Sometimes though she will say something that hurts really bad, and any time i try bringing it up she denies that it ever happened. Ive tried to let it go but it recently got to the point where i couldn’t stand it anymore. It became harder and harder to just sit and have her talk to me like i was going insane. She kept telling me i was making these “fabrications” and how i always try to make her the bad guy. Last time we argued i recorded it despite knowing my mom has trauma around being recorded. During that argument i remember clear as day that i told her trauma wasnt a contest and she responded by telling me that it was. I ended up walking away. Today we got into another argument about the samething and i explained to her how her treating my trauma like it was nothing just because she had it worse as a kid hurt me. She told me shes never done that. I quoted the last argument we had saying her i remember her telling me that trauma was a contest. She again denied it. I played her the video and she got quiet. She started pacing and acting really weird? Then she just snapped and started yelling at me saying that i treated our issues like a game. That i kept the recording so i could “win” and how i was awful for doing that. She told me i took what she said out of context and recorded me knowing she couldnt stand the idea of being recorded. I feel awful. She said that i kept it only so i could throw it back in her face. I didnt think she would react that badly to the recording. I only wanted to prove to her that she DID say that. I knew she wouldnt LIKE being recorded but i didnt realise she would be that upset. I dont know if i overstepped, i love my mom i didnt want to hurt her. I cant tell if im the reason we argue so much? AITA? | AITA for recording a private conversation with my mom? | NTA |
10xxwn6 | I have a couple cats and dogs, and need someone to care for them when we go out of town. Our neighbor down the street has been nice enough to do this the past 2-3 times we've been on vacation, just coming over to walk the dogs, clean the litter boxes, feed the cats, etc.A while ago she asked me to help out with her pets too while she goes out of town, which include, among other things, a snake and 5 ferrets. I was a bit apprehensive but came over for her to "show me what I'd need to do."Honestly I was pretty put off, having to deal with mice for the snake was gross and the ferret smell was unbearable, even to be in the room with them. I walked out of the room and said I'll think about it, but I'm not too sure if I'm the best person for the job.I called her back later after thinking about it to say I don't think I should do it and she might need to find someone else, and was surprised that she got pretty offended, and said "this is way easier / less work than taking dogs on walks and everything I've done for you." When I mentioned the smell she said "oh come on, as if your dog's waste smells like roses? That's as bad as it gets but I had no problem carrying those bags around the block when you were out of town."I didn't really expect she'd think my "excuse" was illigitimate or that I had an obligation to do something for her in return. AITA?tl;dr refusing to care for neighbor's pets while out of town even though she cares for mine | AITA for refusing to help with my neighbor's pets, even though she helps out with mine? | YTA |
10xq5id | I ordered a Jason X Über Jason mask from a guy on eBay. Somehow, there ended up being a shipping error and he sent me two of them, so he asked if I could return one. I have no problem doing so, since I only wanted one anyway, but I asked him if he could cover the price of the return shipping, since the cheapest shipping I could find from anyone was about 24 bucks, and that is kind of a large cost for me to have to pay out of pocket. He got pissed off and said I'm robbing him by expecting him to pay. Personally, I don't see why I should have to eat that expense since even though it may have been an honest mistake, it's still not my problem. | AITA for asking someone to cover return shipping for something that was sent to me in error? | NTA |
10xuqgx | I’m (29F) getting married in august 2023, I heard from everyone around me that I need to start wedding dress shopping as soon as possible, seeing as it could take around 5 to 7 months (sometimes longer) for a dress to arrive after being ordered. So I decided to make appointments for the weekends and the Mondays (because my mom is also free on Monday) at different bridal boutiques. until I discovered that a specific store had my dream dress. I tried to make an early reservation but sadly they were fully booked on the weekends in the month of February and they were closed on Monday. If I were to go in march I would have been a bit too late. So I decide to make a reservation on a week day. My mom is a teacher, right from the start she thought I was overreacting to the whole wedding dress appointments. In her opinion I should wait till I “lose some weight” from now till July and then go dress shopping. I called and asked if she could make it on Wednesday maybe take a day off or leave a bit earlier than usual. She wasn’t up to it and told me to go with my mother-in-law. The moment I tried on the dress I video-called my mom. She stayed online with every other dress I tried on. Then I found the ONE! i was in love and I could instantly see myself wearing it on my wedding day. I ended up saying yes to the dress. My mom was not having it. She started crying saying ‘weren’t we planning on going to other boutiques to see other dresses’ and ‘how could I say yes to the dress without her there’ ‘how I should have made an appointment when she too was available’. Not to mention how the dress is too expensive, even though I’m the one paying for it . Mind you I tried to be considerate and make reservation that would work with her schedule but everything was full and every other day she wasn’t available. besides to go in march is just a huge risk because the dress might not come in time. so after explaining to the woman at the shop that whole situation, she agreed to schedule another day to reenact the yes moment but with mom being there. However mom got mad and said “what’s the point you already chose a dress it’s not like my opinion matters.” I have no idea what to do, this should have been my moment to be happy and excited but it turned bitter because of my mom. Also her constant nagging about my weight and how I should lose 7 kg to look best. I would have made a scene if she was there in person, I held my tongue when she mentioned my weight during the call because I didn’t want to cause a scene. She keeps holding that one comment I made about how I’m going to look after myself, try eating better and exercising above my head the whole time I regret telling her about my plan at this point. And now she is hurt and doesn’t want to talk. Anyway, Reddit, am I the asshole for following my heart and saying yes to the dress when my mom was not physically with me ? | AITA for buying a wedding dress when my mom was not able to join me ? | NTA |
10xrl9v | I live with 2 people and one of my flatmates often stays at her boyfriend’s. She asked if she could contribute less to the bills but I refused. She also went away for 2 weeks and then refused to pay for the bills for that time. We have prepayment meters for gas and electric. Water and broadband are included in the rent but we have to top up the electric and gas on our own. I think it’s unfair for her to get out of paying for the bills just because she’s not there. She wouldn’t ask the landlord to take £100 off her rent because she’s not there. She argues that she switches the heating off in her room when she’s not there and doesn’t use the electric and that the electric and gas go down slower from the meters when she’s not there but that’s not the point. We should split the bills equally. I know we only heat our rooms in the house but she chooses to spend time with her bf and doesn’t want to pay when she’s away for 2 weeks. I’m not sure what I should do. Am I in the wrong here?Edit: her name is on the contract with the landlord but it doesn’t state how we split the bills.Edit 2 because I don’t want to be unfair: she’s still paying for all the bills and rent even when she’s not in but she only refused to pay for those 2 weeks when she was away which makes me feel bad for wanting her to pay and I don’t know what to think anymore. | AITA for insisting my housemate pays for the bills when she’s not there? | NTA |
10xsppy | so i (19m) am asian and autistic. i don't really get social cues well and i can misunderstand things easily. since i was raised by a korean family they were mostly against me dating my black girlfriend kiara (18f). my parents eventually got over it but whenever my grandparents or aunts weren't around they wouldn't really try to interact with her. kiara is very dark skinned and has been bullied for her skin color. she has deep rooted insecurities and has opened up to how much she wants to lighten her skin or buy skincare products. i don't think she needs them because she is fine the way she is, but she really wants to lighten or bleach her skin. i eventually bought her skin lightening creams because i feel that is what she really wanted and maybe my family would treat her better. i don't want to feed into stereotypes or expectations but she has told me repeatedly that skin lightening products might make her happy. i gave it to her as an early vday present and she screamed at me calling me a racist and that im trying to hurt her. then she left my apartment and ended up crying on the way home. she gave me multiple voicemails about how she is reconsidering our relationship. i am upset and i didn't evaluate on the consequences and didn't realize she wasn't actually happy to receive these products. i don't know what to do now am i the asshole or did she overreact? | AITA for giving my girlfriend skin care? | NTA |
10xtbg9 | I (24F) am 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. We currently live with my in laws while saving for a house.My BIL (30M) has an 18 month old daughter. He’s staying with my in-laws for a few days because he decided to rent out his condo for the super bowl to make extra cash. He’s in an on again off again relationship with the baby’s mother so currently they’re splitting custody. My BIL does nothing for his child. My MIL is expected to do all the child care when it’s his turn to have the baby. He throws tantrums when the food she cooks is too spicy or swears at her when the condo is a little messy. When I’m around he expects me to do the same. I had to feed the baby during my own pre-wedding dinner and my food went cold because BIL was arguing with baby momma on the phone and baby was hungry. Yesterday I was cooking dinner for my husband and made sure to cook extra for when his brother and baby came over. I mostly did it for the baby because he never brings adequate food for her. It was stuffed red peppers which the inside is ground beef, onion, garlic, crushed diced tomatoes, rice, and tomato paste. Very easy for the baby to eat just the filling as she eats solid foods very well. He comes in and starts chowing on the food while his baby is just standing there without dinner. I reminded him his daughter needs to eat and he orders my MIL to feed her. My MIL tried to get me to do it instead. I said no, I said the baby’s father can feed her and I was going to bed. I had to wake up early the next day. He started complaining that he just drove for 3 hours, and has a stomach ache. I told him he made the kid and so he can care for her. This isn’t my baby. I stormed into my room and went to bed but my husband thinks I should’ve just said no and walked away nicer but agrees with me that it’s not my job. He asked me not to clean up after his brother or cook for him because he’s not my responsibility. But to try to stay civil for in-laws sakes. AITA? | AITA for refusing to help with my niece? | NTA |
10xsc72 | AITA for calling my mum selfish for suggesting we move closer to them with our new baby? Me (37m) and my wife (40f) have a difficult 4 month old baby – colicky, waking up every hour in the night etc, but fortunately no signs of serious illness. We are both exhausted and feel like we have tried everything. My parents (Early 70’s) live 90 miles away. Fortunately, they are in good health and have been helping with childcare and other jobs for my brothers 6 year old baby since birth as they live close by. My mother and father in law live elsewhere in Europe, a 3 hour plane ride and 4 hour drive away, so it’s not practical for them to help us out frequently. They also have allot of animals that they would struggle to house for the duration of their visit. That said my mother in law did come over for 2 weeks at around the 3 month mark and it was a help. My mum is quite passive aggressive and controlling so I have to keep her a little at arm’s length. During my normal weekly catchup with her, where she did her usual offering of ‘opinions’ – ‘You are using the wrong formula’ (We’ve tried others and she knows this), ‘You should use a dummy’ (We are trying every night but the baby isn’t taking it) she suggested we should move closer to them so they could help out with childcare. This struck a nerve with me as the thought of trying to move house and both of us changing jobs whilst we manage this difficult 4 month old seemed completely unrealistic. I told her that she was being selfish in suggesting we should have to move closer to them and why can’t they think about moving closer to us? It bothered me that just because my brother chose to live close by, we would have to as well in order to get any meaningful support for our baby. Some additional clarifying info - My parents don’t work and are financially secure. Both me and my wife have chronic but not serious health conditions. This is adding to the stress I’m sure. - My parents currently visit us about once a month and stay for a few hours on the weekend. - My mum and wife don’t really get on but they keep things cordial when meeting in person. - When my mother in law came to stay she slept in a single bed in a box room. When this same arrangement was offered to my mum she declined. - If the baby wasn’t so difficult, I’m sure this discussion would never have boiled over or even happened at all. | AITA for calling my mum selfish for suggesting we move closer to them with our new baby? | YTA |
10xqptl | In November, I was asked by my boss to apply for a job. It's at the same company I was already working at, but a different department/building. I applied for the job, but by the end of December had heard nothing back. I told my boss who chased it up and I was offered the job. I accepted and my new boss explained that I could start on Monday and they would transfer over the appropriate documents from my old department.2 weeks go by and I've heard nothing. I contact them and they explain there's a HR issue. Another half a week goes by and finally HR get in touch to say that I have to reapply for my DBS and send them some docs before I start. I apply, and they request a scan of my birth certificate, degree, DBS and 2 references. I provide them all straight away. 3 days later I get a voicemail from HR saying (and I quote) "I understand that you don't feel it's important to provide these documents, but it's for the safety of the children." I call and explain I have already sent them. She checks her emails and sees that I have, then decides that she also needs a scan of my passport, license, proof of address and full employment history and I need to bring the docs in to be sighted "by someone". I send everything. The next day she sends an email where she's copied in my bosses, and marked URGENT!!! and then berated me for not providing the docs that she'd never asked for fast enough. She also had a go at me for not booking a meeting with my new boss to show him the documents, despite never telling me I needed to do this. She apparently couldn't accept my employment history as it was in a CV in a word doc, so it needed to be pasted into another word doc without the CV part with justifications for every 2 week gap. It's worth noting that every 2 week employment gap I've had since graduating has been a result of this specific HR rep fucking up my references or employment checks.Again, I do everything she asks. Show up for the meeting with the boss only to find the building empty. I eventually track them down the next day and they check all my documents. This morning I wake up to an email from HR rep saying that I'm being deliberately difficult and delaying my own start because I've provided a proof of address doc that isn't good enough. She said I instead needed to provide a "credit card bill etc". I don't have a credit card and "etc" doesn't really clarify shit.It's been nearly a month and I've been unable to work just because this rep keeps forgetting to ask me for things. I can excuse forgetfulness but she's so patronising, she keeps making it sound like it's my fault that she hasn't asked me for the right thing. When I applied for my first job here, I was late starting because of a "problem with references" that turned out to be her forgetting to ask a load of safeguarding questions.WIBTA if I contacted head office about her? I don't want to get her in trouble but the incompetence is just mind-blowing. | WIBTA for putting in a complaint about my HR rep? | NTA |
10xsl48 | last week my dog had to get surgery because she had a lump on her toe they thought might be cancer, the x-rays alone costed $800. the surgery itself was $2,500 and we payed $120 for them to wrap it twice. while that is a lot of money i offered to help i had some money in savings that i willingly contributed. at some point yesterday my mother asked me if my credit card was in good standing and if she could use it to pay the vet bills. she has already ruined my credit once and i feel like i am still recovering from that because she spends more than she is able to pay back. i told her no, i don’t think she’ll pay me back in time and then it’s like i’m starting all over again with my credit score. as much as i want to help i just do not have a good feeling about letting her use it. on the other hand i love our dog to death and feel like i might be being selfish by not letting her use it. am i the asshole?edit- i realized i said my dog when in reality my parents adopted the dog 3 years ago so if it’s considered a family dog? and i’m 19 for anyone asking my age | AITA got not letting my mom use my credit card | NTA |
10xx2r3 | My soon to be step mom and my dad are getting married soon. I have been waiting for them to get married since the day i found out they got engaged. I think my almost step mom is great and shes pretty good to my dad despite the amount of arguments and all the drama. However, my dad and i were talking and he mentioned i was going to be one of her bridesmaids. Cool, im excited af from the moment he told me. I however heard them in a big heated argument the other night about me. She was telling my dad that we both were being selfish and how this wedding was about her and not me. I just stood there shocked and didnt realize she opened the door until she was in my face yelling at me calling my a spoiled brat and saying im ruining her big day. I just want to be there for my dad and with im o his big day because he means the world to me, hes raised me by himself. AITA?​Edit: This was after we already bought my bridesmaid dress, which she was the one who took me to go and get it, all while saying i was going to be a bridesmaid | AITA for wanting to be in my dads wedding? | NTA |
10xzfoi | I(23F) live with my fiance(23M) and my siblings(20M, 17F, and 15F). I have been taking care of my siblings since I was 8 years old, simply because we have shitty parents. Our mom is an abusive narcissist, and our dad is a passive aggressive drunk. I've been responsible for the lives of 3 children since I was a child. I love my siblings nonetheless.About 2 weeks ago, my brother came to me and begged me to let my mom come and stay with us for a few week because she had recently became homeless. I was reluctant, but reality is my brother pays bills here as well and even though I don't have any love for either of my parents, I would never strip away the love my siblings have for them. As you can imagine, living with an abusive narcissist always ends bad. Despite making things unbearable since the moment she came. But last night was the last straw for me. My fiance or I make dinner every single night, and we all sit down and have dinner together. I made dinner last night and told my mom that it was ready, she got up and got in my face about how "she doesn't feel loved here, and how I'm a shitty child" and saying things to my younger siblings, that I won't even repeat. There was a lot of back in forth, but ultimately I got back in her face and told her she is a shitty mother. Told her how I've raised her kids for her, reminded her how 13 year old me and my 11 year old brother would have steal food from the store to feed our sister because she chose a man over us and abandoned us. Told her how I sacrificed my life because her and my dad were shit parents. It ultimately ended with a lot if back and forth and me telling her she had 3 days to get out. I'm morally struggling mostly because of some of the things I said to her, I wasn't trying to be an AH but just years of everything broke me down. AITA?Edit: My sisters feel the same as me when it comes to our parents(no love for them) however, my brother have always had a soft spot for our mom, which I of course don't fault him for, he's just a boy who wants his mothers love. | AITA telling mom she's a terrible mother and giving her a 3 day notice to move out? | NTA |
10xwwd6 | I'll be quickIf I'm supposed to pick my sister up from school, I'm normally told half a day in advance so that I can make plans. So if she finishes at X:XX pm, I'll know I'm meant to pick her up that morning.So I assumed I'd be free this afternoon/evening, and so I made plans. My plans are for 4:30 (CAT), and so I was to leave. As I'm getting ready to leave (literally in the car) my mum calls and asks me to pick my sister up and I told her I had plans. She finishes at the same time as my commitments. Mum had a bit of a problem and so she won't be able to be on timeMum is pissed because I was being selfish and not picking her up. It is not that I'm the only other person who can, it's that I finished work the earliest on these days I feel selfish, but I had made plans. Idk what to do.AITA?Added info:My mum, aunt and myself are the only people who can drive at home. My aunt finished at around the same time, and I finished at 3.I told my mum of these plans I made as soon as I got off work, so these weren't plans she didn't know about | AITA for not picking my sister up from school | NTA |
10xsktz | So last friday i was working my normal shift from 2pm until 10pm, but around 8pm my boss was telling overybody we are staying until 12So if i would do that i would be at home around 1 amWhat pissed me off is not even asking but demanding that we should stay (i work at the warehouse) so after hard working day i clocked out ob 10pm and just went home because i was tired and my contract says that i have to do 38.5 hours weekly (which i did)On monday my boss was pissed and told my that for what i did i have to do 2 hours more on tusday and wednesday I was shocked and didnt understand why should i now do 4 hours of overtime.I know that i left some coworkers behind what made me think that i am AH, So AITA for not staying? | AITA for not doing overtime? | NTA |
10xvy8s | So my dad texted me and asked if I wanted to join him and stepmom (SM) on a cruise. Said I had 1 day to decide because they were ready to book. We ran the numbers and said okay! Purchased our room that day.The next day I ask him a few questions he says he doesn't know anything and SM planned it.. I ask her and she says to get with my step sister (SS) because her fiancés mom is planning it. Well long story short, it's not just us, it's SS fiancés WHOLE FAMILY (10+ people!). And I do not get along with SS at all, and her fiancé is not really my cup of tea either.I contacted SS for questions and she for some reason assumed i was broke and said things like "financing is available so it'll be easier for you to afford" "we bought our alcohol package but you should wait till it's on sale so you can get one too". At some point she asked about my tools/toolbox and I told her how I got my tools but my mom stole the 10k tool box. Her response was "well they'll be able to find it when they repo it, if you have enough money I may know someone who can get it back". (My tools have been paid off for years!)So today dad calls which is weird cuz we usually text. Then he asks if I have a minute to talk, he takes a long pause, and hands the phone to SM. She says : "I don't think you realize how expensive this cruise is, did you do your research? It's not just a few hundred $$" I explain, yes I'm aware. We have already paid off our room for 2k and upgraded to a balcony room. We have a 5k budget, and asked if she knows about hidden fees we don't know about? She laughs it off and says "your so grown up now it's scary" so I responded "yeah, when you move out of state with no family and no support you tend to figure your shit out quickly." She passed the phone to my dad and we basically just laughed it off and hung up. It bothers me so much because I was the scapegoat of moms family. I'm used to them assuming i'm a horrible person, but dad has never been that way. for him to call me and put her on the phone to say that seems disrespectful. She has my number, she could have called me I didn't need to be duped into speaking to her. I called my grandma to talk about it and get her 2 cents because this is out of character for dad. She didn't know about the cruise until I told her when we originally booked a few days ago. She brought it up to dad and he said "well we know you've always wanted to go on a cruise and you probably can't afford it so we didn't want to rub it in your face" At this point i feel like dad invited me under a time crunch because he knew id say no if i found out it was basically a reunion for SS, because i only wanted to go spend quality time with my dad who i see once maybe 2x a year. Dad and i have also had conversations about how he does not care for SS or her fiancé/his family so it makes sense he would trick me into going so he has company. I also feel like SM and SS do not want me to go, hence all the comments about $$. | WIBTA if i back out of a "family vacation?" | NTA |
10xxs3a | My dad, Tom, and his wife Linda told me they'd give me gas money for the extra 2 hours per trip it was to go to their house to spend time with my aunt. My aunt, Mabel, is 90 and is paying out of her pension to have a nurse take care of her, things like bathing and diaper changes. Tome works from home and takes extra long lunch breaks where he'll sit and scroll thru tiktok and not check on Mabel. Linda works 4 days a week and will completely ignore Mabel or tell Tom to go deal with whatever it is. They've been making me do all of their housework for the past 6 months and have not paid me anything at all.I told Tom I needed to switch days to catch up on homework as I'm a college student. He was okay with that but when the day came, Linda texted me repeatedly asking about where I was and why I wasn't there. I told her why and that Tom knew and she wouldn't leave me alone. She then told me to never come over again and that I'm a horrible niece and terrible daughter. I ignored her and texted Tom the screenshots. I told my mother what happened and she called Tom to yell at him. The bottom line that was reached was I'm not going to do their housework anymore unless they want to start paying me hourly. I haven't gone over since and decline all calls from Tom and Linda as well as ignore their texts. Additional context: I haven't lived with them for over 3 years due to the overwhelming amount of 'chores' they put on my causing stress induced panic attacks. I am financially independent and the gas I used for those trips ate about $200 of my savings. I've never gotten along with Linda, especially not after she chose my dress for her wedding (a pale golden bodice with a white tea length skirt) and poured red wine on me at the reception. I was 9. Call it a grudge if you will but is the ghosting deserved. | AITA for ignoring my dad's wife? | NTA |
10xxjvj | We are both elementary teachers and we have no kids so we are not in a pinch financially. Also relevant, my bf has taken 3 of his 10 contracted sick days this academic year and they don’t roll over.I woke up this morning to the sound of my boyfriend vomiting in the shower and I immediately told him he needed to take a sick day. He said he was feeling fine but I told him that he needs to take the day off to rest and if he doesn’t want to do that then he needs to at least deep clean the shower before I can use it this evening.I helped him make sub plans, submit an absence virtually, and notify his admin by lending him some resources I’ve used before and sending him my sick day email template, but he is acting like I am crazy for making him take a contracted day off when he is sick. AITA? | AITA for making my boyfriend take a sick day from work? | NTA |
10xy2e3 | I (41M) recently started working at a great new job. It’s a very complex job that requires a lot of training. Though we are in the office, training happens in a virtual class. There’s no direct supervision. We do some hands-on work, but for most of the day we’re observing our trainer in the virtual classroom. Since day 1, one of my coworkers (20-something F) has been falling asleep during class. She was very obvious about it too, putting her head down on the desk. I heard her snoring on multiple occasions. A few days ago, I made a joke about it in our group chat and the trainer noticed it. I explained what was happening to the trainer in private chat. A few minutes later, one of the on-site supervisors walked in to catch her sleeping. She was called out of the room and talked to, then returned. She didn’t put her head down again but began sleeping with her head in her hands. Yesterday, the on-site supervisor came in and caught her sleeping again. Once again she was called out of the room and returned minutes later.This morning we found out that she will not be returning. Some of the people in training class are blaming me for telling on her. I’m of the opinion that she got herself fired and I did nothing wrong. So what do you guys think, AITA? | AITA for getting my coworker fired? | NTA |
10xwsby | Am I the a-hole for calling the cops on my ex? So little back story here bare with me here. So 2021 I started dating a close friend. We started dating in August and hung out all summer after work. Around October I moved in with him since it was easier for work.I worked all over the place doing small jobs for farmers. Around the end of November start of December things started to change. He got mad about certain things. Like me going out with friends or even going to my dads.He started getting angry and threatening me that he would leave me. Spring hit and it got busy again I was working at a farm so I was gone all hours.One evening in June we were coming home from dinner in town and he got upset that I was busy at work.That day is the first day he ever laid his hands on me, and it wasn’t the last. Fast forward to December. I had finally broken up with him but we both agreed just to stay friends. I stayed in one room and him in another. Christmas I spent with my dads family and house sitting for friends while they went to Mexico. He was angry that I wasn’t going to be around and showed up at the house I was at and yelled for and hour and a half. A friend had messaged me saying he had a good job opportunity for me but I had to move 5 hours away from all my family and friends. I thought about it and asked for advice from friends and family and they all told me to go. So the Friday before new years I did. I loved the adventure and loved being away and on my own. But on the other hand my ex was pissed. I got angry calls and texts from him and his friends saying I’m horrible for leaving and they called me every name in the book. Around the end of January I had to go back home for a family members death and a birthday. I had a few things left at my ex’s house that I had asked for. He said he would bring it that night. When he showed up he was drunk, I walked out and didn’t say a word I just grabbed my stuff and threw it in the truck. He slammed his truck door shut and got in the drivers seat and sped off before I could say a word. He almost hit two different vehicles before he left the street. That’s when I made the choice to call the cops. I did it for his safety and everyone else’s that’s was on the road that night . He called me saying he was coming back because we needed to talk. When he showed up I told him that I don’t think he should be driving because he was drinking but he didn’t listen to me and got back in his truck and drove off. 20 minutes later I got call from him saying he rolled his truck, I didn’t know what to say. The cops never found him so they called me back and told I told them what had happened and what hospital his friends took him to. The next day I got a bunch of phones calls from his friends saying I shouldn’t have called the cops on him because he was fine but really he wasn’t. He broke his neck and is now in a halo for three months. I had blocked everyone’s number that he knew because they called me everyday to yell and blame me for his accident. So AITA? | AITA for calling the cops on my drunk ex? | NTA |
10xu0bj | I (f15) answered the door today. There was some guy at the door selling clothes and my mom (50) is shy around men (we have a video camera door bell) so I went with the classic “habalo no inglis” even though the guy was speaking Arabic, in an Arabic speaking country. I was just my brain’s auto pilot and I just forgot he wasn’t speaking English. So anyway my brother (m20) came over and got mad that I had answered and that I was stupid for saying that. Didn’t really matter to me since the guy was gone and even if what I said was weird I’ll never see him again, he doesn’t know my face, nor my name, not even my real voice. And if he did it’s not the end of the world. He ended up getting madder later in the day but I don’t get the big deal. So AITA? | AITA for answering the door? | NTA |
10xyrmb | It’s my first time on Reddit so sorry if some things don’t make sense. I (17F) got into an argument with my parents yesterday. For context, a few weeks ago, my mom’s sister-in-law asked me if I could go to prom with her son because he’s shy and doesn’t have a partner. Him and I are strangers, and I was weirded out but I told her I don’t know. A week later or so, we attended one of my auntie’s weddings and she was there again and she asked me once again. I sort of felt pressured and I thought I should just say yes so I agreed. Two days ago, her son messaged me and introduced himself. I was still uncertain about how to feel. Yesterday, I realized that I don’t really want to go with him. I told him that I was so sorry but I wanted to just go with my friends. He told me it was okay and he understood. This is where things go wrong.I told my parents I rejected him and they were shocked and started getting mad at me. My mom was saying that I shouldn’t have and I should take it back. She said that I shouldn’t have rejected him when I said yes to his mom already. I told her that I felt pressured and that’s why I said yes in the first place. She told me that the mom wasn’t pressuring me but was just asking me. Then she started yelling at me and saying I was disrespectful and that I was a liar. We later on had an argument in my room. My mom told me that I shouldn’t have done that and that he was so shy and it took him so much to ask me and that he’s gonna tell his mom that I’m a liar. I told her it’s MY prom and I can decide if I want to go with him or not. She told me that I should have consulted with her first. I asked why because it’s my prom and she told me that she’s my mom so she should get a say in everything I do. I told her she doesn’t get a say in this and she interpreted as me saying she’s not important to me. She told me if I didn’t want to go with him I should have told her so she could make an excuse but I don’t see why what I did was even that big of a deal. It’s not like I called him names or told him something rude. I literally apologized and said I just wanted to go with my friends?? Is there a problem with that response?? We just kept arguing and then I told her that I didn’t want to talk to her anymore and before she left she sighed and told me I was a disappointment. Maybe this is where I might fall short, but I genuinely don’t think i did anything wrong. Today this morning before I went to school, my dad gave me a lecture that I was a disappointment and I need to apologize to my mom. He told me I have a short temper and that she’s my mom and I’m just a kid and I can’t do anything by myself so I need to consult with my mom. He said a bunch of other things but I just zoned out. I don’t talk back much anymore cus he never listens to me so I just zoned out after he started to repeat things. So AITA? | AITA for rejecting my cousin-in-law to go to prom even tho I said yes to his mom? | NTA |
10xt60l | My friend is having her birthday party at my house which I share with my 5 other roommates. It’s happening this Saturday and she wanted me to check in with her on who I wanted to invite. The theme is supposed to be red carpet fancy dressed and cocktails themed. I checked in with her and she approved everyone I listed except one for odd reasons as the individual is “weird” and may not be able to wear a fancy outfit and be “fancy” in general. But I mean, it’s my own damn house right?EDIT: ADDITIONAL CONTEXTThe decision to host the party at our house was made without me. In hindsight I would have been fine with hosting if I could just invite a few people of my choice. The people on my plus list were my HS BFF, his GF, the “weird” friend, and let’s call the third friend the gamer friend. The gamer friend also doesn’t want to go unless the “weird” friend can go as well. One of my other roommates has plans to bring 4-5 more people who were not invited and likely will not be chewed up for it as he is not nearly as close to everyone in the group as me. The “weird” friend and birthday girl seemed to have a great interaction a couple weeks ago where they hugged and said hi. My other friends think she may have been acting fake and judge mental for some reason.Thoughts? Perhaps the last roommate is a bigger asshole than I if anything? | AITA for having people over when there’s a private birthday party? | YTA |
10xxp44 | My fil moved in with us over a year ago as he has suffered from a stroke, and was not living in the best circumstances. He was an addict the majority of his life and required somewhere to stay that allowed him to not be in bad situations. We moved to a larger home with a gas fireplace and he pays a base amount (fairly cheap) with everything included. I make dinner every night for him and ensure he has all of his favorite foods and easy accessible meals. I pay for the daily required items, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent etc. (ALL OF IT) He is fully capable and is recovered from his stroke.There is much more I can add to this but I am not going to get into detail based on behavioural tendencies etc. The ISSUE. His living space has a gas fireplace, my bill has TRIPLED/ quadrupled over the winter months and I have brought this to his attention (multiple times) and made it clear that I would like for him to use an electrical block heater, or other methods to warm himself up rather than the fireplace. I bought him a heated blanket for night and for lounging, and then was frustrated that he’s expecting me to buy him yet another thing, when he is capable of buying things himself. (I feel as if I am being taken advantage of) Yesterday I go downstairs and the fireplace is on again, at this point I am so fed up, so I approach the situation very firmly and say, have you looked into space heaters. I feel disrespected by you at the mere fact that you have blatantly ignored my request multiple times to stop using as it is so expensive. He then starts to project blame and raise his voice as me , in which I request for him not to raise his voice at me. He then storms off and is messaging my husband, how unreasonable I am and how I have no right to be upset. Which I found even more insulting. I know I’m not the asshole (so I think) | AITA for firmly telling my fil to stop using the gas fireplace. | NTA |
10xqgkn | This evening my girlfriend and I went to a concert in a very bad part of downtown known for homelessness, drug use and etc. It was her idea to go to this concert and we both knew that this concert was in a bad part of town but she wanted to go anyway. The parking garage was unfortunately a few blocks away from the concert venue so after we parked our car, we had to walk a few blocks through the bad part of town to make our way to the concert.Immediately once we walked out of the parking garage, the sidewalk was lined with tents, homeless people, druggies and sketchy people who looked like they were up to no good. I advised to walk on the street (where the cars drive) instead of the sidewalk to avoid being so close to the tents and sketchy people who lined the sidewalk. This way we would distance ourselves a little bit in case someone tried to attack us. I understand that pedestrians should stay on the sidewalk but given this was a pretty dangerous hood, I felt more safe not being on the sidewalk and keeping my distance from the tents/homeless/druggies who were loitering on the sidewalk. I walked on the street but she continued to walk on the sidewalk.When we turned the block we luckily encountered a group of people who were dressed in the same concert attire that we were going to so I knew they were fellow concert goers who would be heading in the same direction. I intentionally matched my walking pace with this group so as to walk with them together as a group to the concert venue to be more safe in case anything were to happen or if anyone tried to mug/attack us. My girlfriend on the other hand, somehow decided to walk at a faster pace with quite some distance ahead of us. She turned back to see me with the group and I signaled to her to slow her pace and walk with us but she continued walking at her own pace by herself. She was walking in front of me (and the group) and as she walked past a homeless man, I was able to observe from behind that the homeless man was even eyeing her purse as she walked past him. However she did not notice it.Luckily we made it to the concert venue and back unscathed but on the drive home I called her out on not being street smart. I highlighted several red flags to her but she took offense to it saying that she was an adult and could take care of herself. She didn't want to hear it. I tried to explain to her that I'm just trying to teach her to be street smart and it doesn't hurt to be cautious. People are known to get hurt/attacked/mugged in that neighborhood and we were in a potentially very dangerous situation yet she seemed so nonchalant about it. I didn't want to push it further and ended the conversation there but at the same time I feel like I was not getting my point across to her. AITA for calling my girlfriend out on not being street smart enough? | AITA for calling my girlfriend out on not being street smart | YTA |
10xurl8 | TLDR: I offered to take care of two cats for six months but it caused too much trouble (stuff being broken, arguments between me and my husband) so i aked my friend to find other accomodations. She 'forced' her mom to take them in but now is very angry and demands i apologize to her and her boyfriend.So one of my dear friends (27F) has two young cats who are like children to her. She and her boyfriend (27M) are visiting his family abroad for 6 months. I (27F) am a major people pleaser, recently i started therapy to work on this and set more boundaries. Last summer i married and my husband (37M) is very kind but he is making me more aware of how i forget myself/him trying to help other people. I knew my friend was very worried about where her cats could go while she was traveling so i offered to take them in for 6 months.However neither me nor my husband are cat lovers, we did take a cat in for 2 months last year to help another firend out. However this was a very old/easy cat, still it caused issues for us because of the work that comes with owning a cat. I fucked up by not consulting my husband but directly offering to take in the cat once my friend shared her worries for where they could go. We bought our house this summer and are still busy renovating, also we have 2 kids in the house and very busy schedules as is. Having the cats has been a total nightmare; cat hair is everywhere, they ruined the couch/chairs and recently our new curtains, they kicked over many plants/stuff, they chew on the kids toys, they puke regularly which ruinied a carpet and the stains are hard to get out of out wooden floors. Also the food they get is so stinky, let alone cleaning the cat litter (they shit/pee SO MUCH). I am aware my house is not very cat proof, but i am not willing to make it cat proof because i do not even like the cats. Me and my hushand never had a lot of arguments but we would argue over the cats.I tried sharing this with my friend but she was very dissapointed and felt i was complaining and this caused her sleepless nights. Eventually i messaged her asking her to please find other accomodations. She previously stated there was no one else but when i pressed she said she could 'force' her mom to take them in. So her mom came to pick them up and i feel relieved, we have our home back! But now my friend is super cold and mad, she feels i have not apologized enough.I feel i am the asshole because i wanted to help her so bad i offered to take them in not realizing the amount of work and impact on our house. I totally underestimated this and have stated that as well as expressing how bad i feel for causing them stress. However i do not feel i need to apologize more because in the end the cats are her responsibility? Honestly i feel she should thank me for the 3 months i did take care of her cats?So Reddit: Am i the asshole?EDIT: I know i fucked up by taking in the cats without doing proper research and not consulting my husband enough. I asked my friend to think about a plan B because of the stress it was causing us. She found other arrangements. I understand her being upset about the situation, i am too upset about it and realize my mistake. I do not understand why i am the asshole for bringing up that the cats are causing these problems and why i should say sorry more then i already did. I understand from the many responses i am the asshole in every way. I have apologized again to my friend. Also i will never offer again to take in someone's pet for more than a few days. People are not talking enough about how much responsibility comes with pets, and that them destroying stuff is part of the deal? I just wanted to help a friend out. | AITA For not saying sorry for rehoming my friends cats? | YTA |
10xz5xo | F29 have 2 kids, F(1yo) and F(2mo). My sister is in her 40s and with an “man” in his 40s. He is the baby dad of her oldest. They didn’t work out due to him being an drug addict and an alcoholic. She moved on to marry her now ex husband and have an kid with him. After the split with her ex husband she went looking for the BD of her oldest. We’ll call him Bob, she found him. He was homeless, still addicted to drugs, still addicted to alcohol, no job, and no car. She brought him into the house we both was contributing to. Everything was fine until he started eating everything, stuff came up missing (including medicine), and he started becoming aggressive to me and my daughter (I hadn’t had my second one yet). I had got in contact with my dad to help me move to my friend’s house who had offer me a place to stay until I found something. Instead he offered me to take over my grandpa’s house (my grandpa had passed a few months prior and left the house to my uncle). I took the offer bc it’s an nice 3 bed 2 bath with an huge yard and an country setting. My dad is currently staying with us for a few months so I can get an savings up and get an car (my BD is withholding the car I did have). I’m currently using my dads car. My sister had called and I was talking about how we both had court on the same day. I guess I was on speaker bc Bob piped in from the background and said “No you are not giving her an ride and she needs to find one.” Mind you I haven’t asked her for an ride since we shared the house bc I’ve been using my dads car. So she hurried up and hung up before I could confront them. I messaged her saying it’s bull crap she lets him do that when I still continue to allow her to have the bills in my name. She has bills up in the thousands and couldn’t get them on in her name. Her credit is shot as well. I went on to tell her she’s dating an bum that’s only with her bc he doesn’t want to be homeless and starve to death. That he served no purpose bc he takes her money and pisses in jugs and let’s them lay by the bed. I said I was embarrassed for her bc she goes around bragging about an engagement ring he brought with her money and then took the proposal back saying he was drunk. He pays for dates and etc. with her money. I asked her what does Bob really have and going for him besides addiction. I have people telling me I’m an asshole for doing this to them and I need to apologize. I don’t think I was being an asshole cause nobody will speak up and tell her that she needs to leave him. So AITA?Edit: Nothing I’ve done has hurt her. She’s ignored everything about Bob and she’s been allowed to see the kids when Bob isn’t around. She’s perfectly fine. | AITA for telling my sister I’m embarrassed for her and refusing to allow my kids around her bf? | NTA |
10xzf31 | Throwaway.I (22m) work at a sandwich shop. My coworker Chris (27m) started working there a few months ago after he was laid off from his last job. It really has sucked for him- He loved that job and after losing it he had to delay his wedding and move back in with his dad. When we hired him, my boss at the time made it clear that he was going to try and promote him first due to the situation, and Chris got his promotion and has been working as a shift supervisor for a few months while he looks for a new role.I get Chris is really bummed about the whole situation, it's very frustrating, but he has a temper. When something sets him off, he tends to blow up a little. Usually it's pretty private, but I've heard him get really short with other people we work with.Last week, I was closing up shop with him, and a woman came in about 10 minutes before closing. Chris was taking her order and I heard him start ripping into her. She walked out looking like she was about to cry and Chris was sneering. I asked him what that was all about, and then he started yelling at me about how he's "the manager" and I "don't get to tell him what to do."He stomped back to the office, and I got to work doing some cleaning, when I felt his hand on my shoulder turning me around. He got in my face and said "You understand me, I'm serious! Don't ever tell me how to do my job!" I told him firmly that he needed to get his hands off of me or I would call the cops, and immediately he softened up, and the whole rest of our shift he was apologizing and we were talking. He really seemed sincere, but the fact that he put his hand on me crossed a line.As soon as I left, I called our general manager and told him what happened. Over the next few days, I noticed Chris was not on the schedule. Yesterday morning, I came in to find out they came very close to firing Chris altogether, but ended up just demoting him to part-time.While what he did wasn't really excusable, I sort of feel like a jerk because of his situation and the fact that he apologized to me. Even so, I want to feel safe at work, and when he put his hand on me and got in my face, I didn't.Did I go too far? | AITA I reported a coworker and caused him to lose his promotion | NTA |
10xr5ai | So I’m (26) in a foreign country with my sister (29), we’re on our way to the airport. She lets me figure out the way there with public transport. I tell her the way and she seems okay with that. When we’re switching from one train to the other I walk in front of her to get to the right platform, I look behind me and she’s going to the bus stop. I turn around and run after her and say ‘we’re not going on a bus rn’, she says ‘how was I supposed to know’, which fair enough okay. I say, ‘you could just trust me enough to walk the same way I did.’ She gets angry, asks me what’s wrong with me and says I need to grow up (I guess for not being more transparent about the route?).We get on the train. She sits away from me and gets off two stops later and goes with a different form of transportation. Tells me about this after already getting off.So now I am on my way to the airport alone in a foreign country.Genuinely asking, am I the asshole? Regardless, I’m not feeling good about this. I’m always used to being the one apologizing when she gets angry, but this time I don’t want to unless I really was in the wrong. | AITA: left alone in a foreign country | NTA |
10xukus | I’m currently in trouble and want to know if I was wrong. My friends said to ask Reddit so here I am.I’m 21 and my 25 y/o brother got married to his girlfriend of 4 years. I’m intrigued by my new SIL because she doesn’t culturally act in the same manner as my family or follow the same “rules” (not a culture from an ethnicity standpoint, ask me questions if you’re confused).My father was/is very strict and we were to follow rules without question. My SIL does whatever she wants or feels like doing. According to her, she grew up in a household run by an ironfist and was told what she could and couldn’t do and after being on her own, she doesn’t let anyone tell her what she can/should or cannot/should not do if it’s not something she wants to do nor something she HAS to do. For the record, I do like my SIL.For the most part, my family gets along with her but my dad always makes “suggestions” of things she should do (his way of telling her what to do to his preference) but she’ll either say she’ll think about (her way of saying no but thanks) or outright say no (her way of saying not a snowball’s chance in hell). I can tell this upsets my dad but there’s nothing he can do about it.The latest incident was my brother and SIL throwing a party and our family came, some with their kids (important). My SIL likes to have a Moscow Mule at social events and this was the conversation.D: You shouldn’t be drinking with the kids around. SIL: \*looks around\* There are no kids. D: \*face gets red\* you know what I mean. SIL: In front of the kids? D: \*nods head\* SIL: Again, I’m not seeing a child in sight. D: You shouldn’t be drunk in front of them. SIL: I have the host this party so I’m not getting drunk but one drink isn’t going to ruin the night. Besides, the kids think this is water. D: But still... SIL: \*looks at my dad\* Okay! \*proceeds to drink as if the conversation didn’t happen and walks away\*My dad has been angry ever since and when I was at their house completing a DIY project for them, I overheard them talking about SIL. For the record, they came into the area I was working in so I heard everything. I told them that dad is only mad b/c he can’t get SIL to act how he wants her to and that he can’t expect everyone to follow his “rules.”He told me to butt out.I can answer questions if you need more info. | AITA For Chiming In About my SIL? | NTA |
10xy5qe | I'm 26(M) my girlfriend is 22(f) We've been together for a little over a year and she has constantly told me I'm her soulmate and she's so in love with me and all that good jazz. So that's cool. However recently we've been working more and hanging out less to save for a house. We agreed on going to the gym and stopping drinking to improve our health and our relationship. The last two nights in a row she has driven her recently single friend who is actively having sex with multiple people to a dick appointment. She says he doesn't have a room mate and she just sits there and smokes his weed while her friend hooks up with him. I asked her if I could come hang out with them and she said I couldn't come inside because the guy said no. She said I'm embarrassing and she isn't doing anything wrong but I have a hard time believing this as her friend texts my buddy daily about threesomes and all the dirty shit she wants while she's in another dudes bed. I called and caused a scene and may have texted her the address of the dudes house where she kept going and she left immediately after. Am I the overprotective asshole or am I right for making her leave knowing she lied about going and lied about drinking at another dudes house. EDIT: I should probably add for reader context that we are not a typical couple. We live a faster lifestyle than most “normal” people and we’re both equally possessive of one another because of the shit we’ve been through together in our lifestyle. UPDATE: We had a conversation regarding last nights events and she assured me not to worry but knew she was in the wrong for going with her friend to a dick appointment and said that she would’ve reacted the same if the roles were reversed. We worked it out and came to an agreement. | AITA for “ruining” my GF’s night w/ a friend? | NTA |
10xyrlk | I (26F) have been living in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment since April 2020. My current roommates are Jada (28F), Daniela (26F), Amaya (20F) and Jasmine (20F).Some background:I bought like 5 packs of bag clips for the apartment but they kept getting lost so I decided to keep 5 bag clips for myself in my room and left the rest in the kitchen. I never told anyone I did this and no one has ever asked me for them.We used to keep toilet paper in both bathrooms but then we found out Amaya was stealing it and keeping it in her room for her so we decided for everyone to keep toilet paper in their rooms. However, Amaya decided to start using the paper towel I would buy for the apartment as toilet paper and this clogged up the drains and sewage and feces ended up coming out of the shower in the basement bathroom. The super refused to clean it up so I ended up cleaning it. So I decided to stop buying paper towel for the apartment. I made a whole other post on this but basically 3 of my roommates (Jada, Amaya and Jasmine) are really behind on paying me their parts of the electric and internet bills. I also let Jasmine borrow $100 from me. I have also given her rolls of toilet paper and bought toilet paper for her before.The situation:Last month, when I was at work Jasmine texted me that she and Daniela were talking and that I should start buying stuff for the apartment again and they will split the costs with me. This annoyed me because Jasmine already owes me a lot of money and I don't know why I have to be the one to do this. I ignored the text. Then when I got home, Jasmine started to ask about using my bag clips that were on my salad bags. I snapped because I was annoyed already from earlier and I yelled "those are my bag clips." She tried saying "let me explain." I yelled again "those are my bag clips." She tried saying again "let me explain." I yelled again "those are my bag clips." She finally stopped and walked away. Then later on I came back into the kitchen and I see Jasmine writing her name on a bag clip and I said that's my bag clip and she said no this one is mine and showed it to me and put in on her salad bag.Later she texted me saying I disrespected her and if all the bag clips in the house are mine I should tell everyone to get them off their stuff. I ignored the text. She texted again saying she needs answers and if I have a problem with her that I should tell her and that how I acted was unacceptable. I decided to text back that I didn't have a problem with her and that I keep 5 bag clips in my room for myself and the rest in the kitchen. She replied back that I didn't have to get in her face and if I feel like I didn't do anything wrong then she feels real bad for me. This really pissed me off since I have done a lot for her. We haven't really spoken since until recently when I told everyone I am not paying the internet and electric bill until everyone pays what they owe. Again I have another post about what happened with that | AITA for yelling at my roommate about bag clips? | ESH |
10xzqm7 | Last weekend, my boyfriend - who's a year older - and I were casually shopping at the mall when he told me that he has something important to mention. I looked at him with a worried expression as he brushes my forearm and says: "(His girl best friend's name) asked me to be her date for prom." I look at him even more confused because she has a bunch of friends that she could go with and she knows my boyfriend's already taken. So I say: "I hope she'll find someone before prom." But he looks at me with guilty eyes and that's when I think I get the *important thing* he wanted to tell me. I ask him what was his answer, and he explains that he told her *yes*. Since my prom is next year, he could still be my date and it will still be perfect like I wanted. However, his best friend would be alone and sad, since they've known each other for a long time they know it would be only "friendly". I was fuming, I understand that he wants her to have a perfect prom, but I'm his girlfriend and it would be so awkward for him to be her date. I left the mall without him because I needed time to think. It hurts me because I try to understand each point of view, but it doesn't sound fair to me. We haven't talked since that conversation, he did try to reach me but I told him to have a conversation with his best friend first explaining that he wouldn't go with her, but he says it's unfair to her. AITA for using the silent treatment towards my boyfriend until he refuses his girl best friend invitation? | AITA for using the silent treatment towards my boyfriend? | YTA |
10xqebm | My brother is 40. He's always made some questionable decisions regarding himself and his future. He wanted to become a teacher for years but followed a girlfriend at the time to a college she wanted and they didn't offer the degree he needed/had planned to get. So he did 4 years of a few different classes and went into something else. Long before he graduated he and the girlfriend were already done but he didn't want to uproot again.In his mid 20s he took a job in a HCOL area and decided to live in a LCOL area. It was a three hour drive from his house to the job each way and he made himself sick with the long hours he kept there (started at like 8am and finished around 7pm). Literally ended up in the hospital to make it work instead of realizing he hadn't thought it all through and got a job that was closer, or found a way to move closer to the job.He went all in on a woman a few years later and even though she told him she wanted nothing serious, he believed she might still return his feelings. He ended up heartbroken.Now he's married, has been for almost two years. His wife is awesome. But my brother has always wanted to be a father. His wife has a 20 year old son already. She has always been pretty open about her son being her baby and being the only kid she wants. My brother knew this when he married her. But he still asked her about it a couple of months ago and he was so upset to find out she isn't interested in having kids with him. He's been very down ever since. He spoke to some of our other siblings about it. They admitted to me that they tried to encourage him not to give up the dream and that he could never have known she'd feel that way once they were married and settled as a couple. He started to talk to me about it after that and told me it was such a mess and how did he end up in his position. I told him it was because he never thinks things through. That he's like a kid in that way, and he needs to grow up. He started to argue but I told him that he married someone who didn't want the same things out of life, and instead of being honest, he decided to hold back what he wanted, marry her anyway, and then try to find out how he could make it work and still get what he wants. I told him life doesn't work that way and it's not fair to push her. I also made it clear to him that she's not wrong for not wanting another child. He told me I was being insensitive and how dare I talk to him about not thinking things through when I have his dream (I became a mom for the first time last year). He left and said I would never get it and was an unsupportive sister.AITA? | AITA for calling my brother he never thinks things through and needs to grow up? | NTA |
10xzi49 | My girlfriend uses my sister's room as an office as my sister is away. I asked her not to eat chocolates in there as we already have an ant problem in the house, and it isnt my room to mess up. When she refused to let me bring the chocolate outside to the pantry, I told her "This isnt a big ask. Stop being unreasonable". Now she is upset at me and has asked me to leave her alone. AITA? PS if there was a way I could have handled this better, please do share | AITA for asking my girlfriend not to eat candy in the bedroom | NTA |
10xx4r5 | My mom got a new phone yesterday which she was setting up, tones and all. My mom puts quite some thought into it... Surprisingly a lot of it.I went to sleep (or try at least as I only got to sleep until 1 am) while my mom kept setting up her phone as I helped her with some stuff.I woke up and before starting my shift (bad morning as power went out and had to set everything over which made me start work late), and I heard a certain beeping that was quite similar to the one from an old chat tool notif we used to use.This sound causes to start feeling a bit anxious or to get in high alert mode, makes me nervous. Just kinda like trauma from work.I thought I was just imagining the sound (happens more often that I'd like to) but I kept hearing it, so I knew it was my mom's phone.Usually is kind of a traditional to talk to my mom before she leaves to work, so I asked her if she could change the ringtone for her message.My mom immediately flipped off saying "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE NO!" as if I was bothering her. I was not very well rested (or felt like it), so I also flipped off and screamed at her I was just asking for it because the tone was making me nervous. She said I shouldn't be bothered because at the end she's not in the apartment 24/7 as she goes to workNot sure how it went next but at the end after a short back and forth I just left her room and she just said "the world ALWAYS has to adapt to you". Mind I have soooooommmmeeee way of anxiety, depression and other stuff that apparently I have that didn't knew I had. My mom meant this because usually I try to do or not do stuff in order to bot feel as anxious or bad, and my mom is imo not what I'd describe as understanding.I just got angry because I just requested for a change because that thing will make me crazy... My mom texts a damn lot and that thing sounds quite often. That thing makes me anxious as hell.I just feel I flipped off for a minor thing and shouldn't just make a big fuzz out of it, and besides I'm not well rested (ik is not an excuse just an explanation)AITA?EDIT: ok, after lots of the comments here I think I did understand the point of what the problem was. Being honest that whole conversation just went off board because I asked her nicely and she bursted out immediately, but I do admit everyone is right. I'd have to learn to deal with it and not force people to do stuff just to make me comfortable. So ok, I accept IATA in this situation, handled it very poorly due to stress and lack of sleep. I will apologize as it's fair to do | AITA for losing to my mom because she didn't change her message ringtone? | YTA |
10xvc34 | I (14M) have been sick the past week. I have stayed home from school every day because 1. I feel shitty, 2. I don't want to get others sick, 3. I thnk it's rude to go to school or work while sick, because not only can others get sick, they can feel uncomfortable, they have to hear you sniffling and coughing all day, stuff like that.My dad has been getting on my ass since yesterday about going to school. I'm against the idea since I'm still sick. I've been recovering a bit, but I'm still not 100%.My dad says since I can play video games I should be able to go to school, and that I''m better.So, am I in the wrong here for not going?EDIT: I do take some time throughout each day to catch up on schoolwork that I understand and can do. | AITA for staying home while being sick? | NTA |
10xx1h5 | Aitah for telling my friend about my own experience about anxiety?I have a friend, s. She called me the other day telling me she was stressed/ anxious about an exams she was going to have and told me to tell me what I know about it since “I’m always stressed” (her words) I have autism and before I’ve even gotten to the metro I’ve already had 5 different stress factors etc etc. and this also causes me to not really understand some social situations thus we I need help I told her that there’s a certain difference between stress and anxiety and that there’s also good and negative stress. It’s good to have some stress for an exams since it make you focus better I then told her that I have 3 alarms through out the night to wake me up so I know im still alive. I often think about how I might have an inner leading I don’t know about or a tumor etc etc And because of that I wake up to see that im still living because I have severe separation anxiety from the ones I love and don’t want to go away alone She started to yell at me saying that I make everything about myself and that im a weirdo who shouldn’t be aloud to live freely Im thinking about might talking to her mom since if she talks to me like that she might do it to other people and I don’t think it’s fair to them Aitah? | AITA for telling my friend my own experience with anxiety after she told me Hers | NTA |
10xwzof | The other day I started having a heath issue that could be a sign of pregnancy (probably not) Edit: it is very very very unlikely that I am pregnant I didn’t want to tell my boyfriend because he has a history of letting his anxiety get the better of him but recently he has asking me to be more open with him so I told him. He was ok for a few hours and then started going down the rabbit hole. This is because he knows I am very much against abortion for myself. We have been together for 8 years and he is 9 months away from being a sworn in Lawyer. I have a decent job. It would be hard but we are not desperate teenagers. We could handle it. If he doesn’t want to handle it I told him I would handle it on my own. That freaked him out even more because he doesn’t want to break up.I’m annoyed at him because I am dealing with a new and scary heath condition and need support right now. He asked me to open up more and trust that he would act appropriately. I tried and he kept me up till 2am with his anxiety. Here’s where I may be the asshole. Last night I got so annoyed I went to sleep on the couch. I know this makes him very upset but I just wanted to go to bed. He came out and talked me into coming back to bed. Then I went back to the couch because he made a stupid comment. I did come back to bed eventually but I feel bad for being intentionally mean to him.I know he can’t help his anxiety and today he is much better but it’s very obviously forced. I appreciate that he’s trying though. We will know if I am pregnant later today. TLDR I don’t want to confront my boyfriend about my heath issue that has a small possibility of me being pregnant. | AITA for refusing to deal with my boyfriends anxiety about my health issue? | NTA |
10xxz1x | I (30f) found our little over a year ago that I was blocked on Facebook by my stepmom who has been in my life since I was 8. At first I didn’t think much of it for months. I thought maybe she just deleted Facebook. I asked my siblings and come to find out I was the only one blocked. Some back story though, I came out about two years ago and started dated my ex girlfriend. My family is very religious and I did distance myself from them. So fast forward to now, after I confronted the fact that I was blocked. I was never given a real reason as so it. My siblings thought it was because my ex posted on my Facebook to much, which if anything that was cute quotes or a picture of us. Yesterday was my birthday and my step mom did not reach out but did tell my twin brother happy birthday. That bothered me so I reach out to my dad and basically called them out and starting a fight over it. AITA for shutting my family off for being blocked on Facebook? | AITA for not having much to do with my Father for about a year? | NTA |
10xyy1f | Me (23F), my boyfriend (23M), and our son (3mo) were getting ready to go visit my dad and his wife for dinner. My dad calls me while my boyfriend is giving our son a bath to tell me to make sure I bundle him up because it’s cold outside. (It’s 27 degrees outside… no fucking shit I’m gonna bundle him up lol). So, I respond with the most deadpan face and say “nah I think he’d be more comfortable in a tank and shorts”. My boyfriend laughs from the bathroom but my father doesn’t find my response amusing. He said I was being smart and he was just trying to look out for his grandson. I said “I understand where you’re coming from but do you think I’m an idiot or something? Why would I not bundle him up?” He said that I’m a first time mom and he just wanted to be sure. Mind you, I’ve worked with kids in the past and I have plenty of little cousins and a niece and nephew. I’m not unfamiliar with babies. So I politely said thank you for looking out but please don’t question my intelligence (this hit him hard because he would constantly say this to me as a child lol). He rolled his eyes, scoffed and hung up. When we got there, he opened the door for us and saw my son bundled up and wrapped in a warm blanket and said “So you took my advice, huh?”. I said, “no, I’m just not an idiot.” Dinner was a little awkward at first but we moved past it kind of quickly and had a relatively good night. I told my mom what happened and she said I was being disrespectful and could’ve just said okay because he’s my elder and kept it pushing. So, AITA for getting smart with my dad?TLDR: My dad told me to bundle up my 3 month old son in 27 degree weather and I said I would take him out in a tank and shorts instead. | AITA for “getting smart” with my dad? | NTA |
10xwkfq | i dont typically go to mcdonalds but i think ill likely not be going to this specific one for a while after this.i parked my car and wanted to order inside and i saw it was closed and only taking drive thru orders. so i proceeded to go thru the drive thru and waited about 10 minutes to get to the speaker, then waited at the speaker for about 5 minutes. i was not told anything in those 5 minutes like hey, ill be with you in a minute or can you give me some time. so at this point i said to myself: ill just pull up and they can take my order there and then i can pull into a spot and they can bring my food out (it wasnt going to be a big order, just a sandwich and a drink.). i waited another 10 minutes to get to the window. i told them that i hadn't ordered yet and they looked at me confused. they left for about 2 minutes and came back and said to me, im sorry, we are short staffed, you'll have to pull thru the drive thru again.(this part im realizing im a bit of an asshole for) i then flipped the bird.now i want to clarify that i get that places are short staffed but if you dont have the employees to operate a restaurant properly and efficiently; then don't do so. ive worked in this position before (not at a McDonalds but another place). AITA? | AITA for waiting in line for 30 minutes for nothing | YTA |
10xyjlr | TLDR: My family is forcing me to let my brother and his sons move into my place for cheap even though he owes me 5000$ and broke my rules last time and he is expecting 4 hours of free childcare a day. AITA for wanting to say no?My (24M) brother (28M) has shared custody of his sons (5 & 6) with his ex, he has them one week on one week off. My brother dates a lot of people and usually what happens is they break up after 1-2 yrs of dating.This has happened four times since the kids' mom and everytime he introduces his new gf to his kids after just a few weeks and they move in together right away. As you can imagine this is super hard on everyone, the family, my brother and especially his sons.2 years ago my brother broke up with his gf of 2 years and couldn't afford rent so I offered him to move into my basement as I'm renting a 2 storey house, I offered him an all inclusive, cheap rent, but I gave him strict rules bc I don't like living with other people and never wanted a roommate. Within the first few weeks all the rules had been broken. Also, his sons kept coming upstairs for a few hours everyday.So I raised his rent (it was still less than 1/3 of what I was playing for the whole place) my parents went off on me and told me to cut him some slack. I insisted he start looking for his own place. He said he was ok with the rent increase and he'd do better with the rules, he wanted to stay.2 weeks later, (about a month after moving in) he had his new girlfriend move in to the basement with him. I was furious. (There was also a lot of unapproved (and not housebroken) pets that somehow made their way in). After 6 months of hell I said you have 5 months to move out and that's it. After only 2 weeks they had found an apartment and moved out (this apartment was 4x the rent I was charging them). Fast forward to today, he just broke up with his girlfriend and can't afford his rent on his own and said he's moving back in without even asking me. My whole family is saying "you don't use your basement anyways and he can't afford to live anywhere so you have to let him back in". I want to help as much as possible so I said yes but I said he'd have to be better with the rules and pay his rent on time (forgot to mention last time there was a couple of months where he didn't pay, and he owes me a lot of money for other things). Now here's the kicker: his sons start school 1h after my brother leaves for work and finish 3 hours before my brother is back and he just expects me to babysit them during this time? I don't know what to do because he doesn't have any money for childcare nor for his own rent so I can't possibly say no but I don't want to do this, especially not for free.AITA for wanting to say no to the childcare? Am I being too hard on him? I know it's my uncly duties to be there for my nephews and it's my brotherly duty to be there for my brother but is there a limit? | AITA for not wanting to help my brother anymore? | NTA |
10xw36c | My friends and I were planning a friend's bachelor party and they all decided on a date that conflicted with my holiday, which I had booked 9 months in advance. As the proposed date for the bachelor party was the date that everyone was available, except me, they decided to go ahead with it and tried to pressure me to cancel my holiday for it. Their reasoning was that I will have plenty of holidays in the future but my friends bachelor party would only happen once. I tried to explain to them that nearly all of my flights, hotel bookings and tours were non-refundable and that I would lose a lot of money if I cancelled.This angered them and they called me a snake for months (my name rhymes with snake) and would send me a picture of a snake every morning in the hopes I would cancel and join them instead.I got annoyed by all of this and decided to go on the holiday anyway. After my holiday, they all blocked me and told my relatives and other friends that I valued money over friendship and that they were all disappointed with me.Your judgement on this matter please.Thank you! | AITA for going on a pre-planned holiday over my friends bachelor party? | NTA |
10xdjfy | I (F53) am married to H (M62). We have three children, M(26), M(23) and F(21). Our oldest, Lee, lives at home with us as he is on the spectrum and cannot live on his own. Other other children are both employed and live on their own although we are still very close to them, or at least I am.The problem is my husband has no patience with our oldest son Lee. He does function as far as personal needs and I've taught him to cook. He works part-time and has a program he attends a few days a week so he has some socialization. Lee is typically busy with his own interests and although I make it a point to play board games or chat with him or listen to the music he creates, he does enjoy his alone time. Now, he has a special interest in weather and as he constantly worries about snow and ice, he watches the weather channel religiously, as does his father. He does tend to ask a lot of questions about what the forecast is, what's said on the channel, etc. His dad just has no patience for this and ends up screaming at him after the first few questions. I do all I can to diffuse the situation but my husband ends up screaming at me and then I'm the bad guy for the rest of the day. Today was no different, Lee started asking questions, husband started screaming and I just laid into my husband and told him to shut up and grow up. Of course, now I'm at fault, being screamed at, etc.Am I the ass for telling my husband to just stop?I think I may be the AH for screaming at my husband. | AITA for screaming at my husband? | NTA |
10xwr39 | I got married in July of 2018. Groom asked permission from my parents before proposing, borrowed money from them to buy the ring so I wouldn’t see it on our bank account (paid back as soon as I said yes). We dated for about a year and a half before getting married. We had a conversation before even deciding to be a “thing” that we were both dating to marry, not just dating for fun. We agreed on wanting kids in the near future and all of that. He is nearly 11 years my senior, I was 20 when we married. (Please, no comments on the age gap).We decided to purposely start trying to get pregnant in May of 2018. With my history of serious endometriosis, we kind of just assumed it would take a couple years to conceive - it didn’t. Which we were totally okay with! We were over the moon excited about the pregnancy.I was confirmed 5 weeks along when we got married. I was very close with our wedding photographer, so I made a plan with her to take some private photos of a pregnancy reveal while we were doing the post-ceremony photoshoot. She was to find my parents during the wedding and show them the photos.She was able to get them alone-enough during the mother-son dance, while I was sitting at the head table. She showed them the photos on her camera.My parents didn’t even respond when she showed them. (For reference, the photo was the two of us standing side-by-side holding a baby bodysuit, with my holding one hand on my stomach). Photographer was surprised they didn’t say anything and asked, “do you know what this means?” To which my mom replied “yeah, either the birth control failed or they had it removed.” I was very hurt when I heard that was the reaction. There were no big hugs or excitement to follow that, either. Was it wrong to tell my parents on such an emotional day for them? Was the way we announced it to them wrong?Or was that a perfectly acceptable place and way to announce and my feelings of hurt are valid? | AITA for telling my parents about my pregnancy on my wedding day? | NTA |
10xzb0r | Years ago I took my son over to my sister’s to have a playdate with his cousin. We were hanging out on the porch of her apartment building watching out for cars while the kids played on skateboards in the street. After a little while my sister asked me to watch her kids while she did a few errands.Eventually I notice the kids trying to do a trick that looked a little dangerous. So, I told them to stop because they might get hurt. My son stopped right away. My niece on the other hand refused and immediately she fell and totally ate it on the curb. Her face was all bloody and she had knocked out/chipped several front teeth. I called my sister and she told me to take her daughter to their dentist and she would meet us there.Since they were adult teeth the dentist put back in the two that got knocked out, but they didn’t heal or something and fell out later. The dentist suggested getting her partial dentures until she was old enough to get implants. My sisters insurance wouldn’t cover them though and she had bad credit so she couldn’t get them on a payment plan.My sister wanted me to pay for her daughter to get a partial dentures and eventually pay for her implant. I didn’t think it was my responsibility to pay because her daughter decided to do something stupid. My sister insisted since I was watching her it was my responsibility to get her to stop. But there was literally no way I could have stopped her. Even if I had sprinted over in the time between me telling her to stop and her trying the trick again I wouldn’t have been able to physically stop her. I told my sister she needed to teach her daughter to listen when an adult tells her to stop.Recently my younger son has gotten self conscious about his crooked teeth. So a few weeks ago I took him to an orthodontist to get braces. Paying for them in installments by the way.My sister is absolutely pissed that I am paying for braces for his crooked teeth, but won’t pay for her daughter’s teeth. My sister was able to save up to get her daughter the partial denture, but she is old enough now to get implants and wants them because she is self conscious about having dentures. My sister says I should have started paying for her daughters implants first before I started paying for my sons braces because her daughter’s teeth are way more messed up. | AITA for getting braces for my son and not paying for my niece's teeth? | NTA |
10xul71 | We live in an apartment with communal laundry. We needed to get a load of laundry done tonight. There are two washers and two dryers but one of the dryers doesn't work so effectively two washers and one dryer. When we went there was a load in the dryer and one in the washer being done. We let our load run and when we came back we saw that the person who was using the laundry had rotated their clothes and put a third load in the washer. We noted how long the clothes had left and then came back to check and they had not been rotated. At this point if we don't get our load in the dryer soon we are it's going to end up being very late and there is no sign of anybody coming to switch their laundry over. So I neatly put took the load out of the dryer that was already done and dry and put it on top of the dryer and then put my load in the dryer and started it. Thirty minutes later I hear screaming and ranting in the hallway the switches back and forth between Spanish and English. A women was pacing up and down the hallway ranting about her laundry being touched. Now I totally understand not wanting a stranger to touch your clothes however, at this point we had been waiting for over two hours and to me it seems very rude to make other people wait like that. She was yelling for a few minutes and so we waited for her to cool off before going out. Our load still had about 10 minutes on it but we knew it was probably already dry so my husband came with me to get it (with the amount of yelling I was kind of scared) and she was waiting for us. She had taken our load out of the dryer and started her own and off on us about how of we ever tried that again there would be trouble. I expressed that I felt we should all make sure we're taking care of our clotting when using community laundry but then apologized to keep the peace and promised it wouldn't happen again. Tldr: I took somebody's laundry out of the dryer because they were taking a long time and they were very angry, AITA? | AITA for touching somebody else's laundry? | NTA |
10xw96h | I(24f) belong to a culture where huge weddings are really overrated. If weddings are small , its assumed that there might be something wrong with the couple or their families. The events carry on for days and it gets extremely exhausting and also expensive. I have always considered these weddings as a waste of money and time. And had very hard time keeping up with all the wedding events of my older siblings. I am getting married in two months. And mine and my fiance's families have a lot on mind for this wedding. Last week , when I told our families that I won't be allowing them to make this wedding a week long and waste so much of money and time over it , they really lost it. My parents were ready to yell at me and my in laws got very upset. My mom thinks it will bring disgrace and my dad is absolutely denying giving in to this demand of mine. They think its absurd and childish of me to creat a drama like this when the wedding is just around the corner and they don't have much time for preps. I know nobody supports me in this except for my fiance who also belives it will get really tiresome ,but I don't want to just give up and let them ruin a big day of my life by having their ways . But I also feel guilty for making my family and my fiance's family who have been nothing but kind and sweet to me upset. I know I have kind of broken their hearts. They had already planned so much . And I don't want to celebrate my wedding by making our families upset. I feel so stuck and awful . AITA? | AITA for demanding a micro wedding and making everyone upset? | YTA |
10xwewd | HiContext i live with my parents as an adult, they are my carers and appointees so they have all my money (think Britney spears conservatorship) and they refused to get my cats insurance when we first got them in 2020 after my last cat which also didnt have insurance died presumably from covid or disease, not that insurance would have helped much since we paid out of pocket.My cat Kevin (teach me to add photos and i will) hurt his front leg in November and we went to the vet asap, the vet prescribed painkillers and rest and if no improvement was made an x ray which we couldn't afford. Obviously i was upset since i told them to get him insurance every few months for the last two years and they would always refuse. He made minor improvements since then and is currently able to use his leg as normal but lifts it ( out of habit or pain i am unsure) when hes sitting. To me this is a red flag but the vet has since cleared him from any conditions and so we got insurance. The insurance company insists that he have no symptoms for 3 months from the inital payment which would put us into may for him to be covered for any injuries for his front two legs. My cats are now insured bar this. So, with that out of the way.TdlrMy cat wont be insured on his front legs until may and i have proposed we dont let him outside until then to mitigate the risks of him hurting himself and us being unable to afford care Incase the injuries are worseMy parents believe this is cruel(and that i am an asshole) and refuse to compromise with me, which i suggested they pay(with their money) for any incurring vet bills should he hurt his front legs as it was a direct consequence of their negligence to pay for insurance (with my money) when we first got him which would have covered any injuries. I believe this is their fault we are in this mess and should be their responsibility to pay outright for any injuries. They believe it is my cat and keeping him inside is cruel and i should pay for any vet bills myself as it is my cat.Any arguments about cats being kept indoors for any other reasons will be ignored, this is not up for debate. I live in a very cat friendly area with minor risks only related to sickness and injury of which can also happen inside a home, accompanied by the fact uk homes are tiny and all my cats are already outdoor cats. Aita for not letting him outside? | AITA for not letting my cat outside | NTA |
10xw94r | I(28F) just had my first baby in December and had a baby shower in October. I am white and my husband(31M) (also the father) is dominican. In the culture for his side of the family, it's not necessary to send thank you cards for gifts, they just enjoy seeing you open it. I was raised to ALWAYS send thank you cards for any type of gift to show appreciation.Anyway, during my pregnancy I got carpal tunnel which made it super difficult and painful to handwrite things. I had attempted to start writing thank you cards, but I could only get through one or two before my wrist and hand starting hurting badly enough that I had to stop. Because of this, I made a post on my social media explaining the situation and expressing my gratitude, but clarifying that I won't be sending out any cards and i hope no one is offended by this.No one has said anything about it, except my mom(65F) and her childhood best friend(~65F). My mom said people are going to get upset and offended by me not writing and sending cards. They will think I'm unappreciative and that when I have my second child later down the road they likely will not give me any gifts because of it. My moms friend, let's call her Lynn, is the only one who reached out to my mom and said her feelings were hurt because she made handmade gifts (sleepsacks, a quilt, headbands, and a nightgown for me) and hasn't seen me posting any pictures of the items being used and I never reached out and said anything. For clarification, she is friends with me on social media and saw my posts about not sending cards, and i also did post a picture of the baby in one of the sleepsacks and said she handmade it for her in the caption.In my opinion, thank you cards are an outdated (and honestly, a very white) tradition and a waste, considering more times than not those cards just get thrown away or stored away and never looked at again. I feel that if what my mom said is true about people not wanting to give me gifts later, then I don't want their gifts, I feel that when you give someone something a gift from your heart, you shouldn't expect something in return, even a thank you card. I did my best to express gratitude in my own way, and honestly, I'm a first time mom adjusting to life with a baby, and she hates the process of being changed, so as much as I love the clothes and things people have gotten me, I'm not constantly gonna be dressing her up to post pictures to please other people. As much as I love the idea of doing that myself, it's just too much when I'm exhausted and she's crying.So I'm looking for outside opinions, AITA for feeling that thank you cards aren't necessary?TLDR; My mom thinks I'm being ungrateful and offensive by not sending thank you cards from my baby shower, I made a generalized thank you post on social media and expressed that i would not be sending cards due to pain from handwriting (and because i think it's an outdated and unnecessary tradition).Edit: I appreciate everyone's input, even tho some of yall are unnecessarily mean about it lmao. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me to send private messages, I figured it would have the same affect as the general post, but that's actually a great idea and I will definitely be doing that.I also want to clarify that most of the people who gave gifts were present at the shower and I opened the gifts there and thanked them personally after every gift. | AITA for not sending thank you cards after my baby shower? | YTA |
10xz8fo | 37F who has been helping a close friend 39F through a patch in dating. I got at least a dozen calls/texts daily about this guy she went on 4 dates with. They haven’t seen each other in 6 weeks after he slow faded. It’s been 3 months since they met for the first time and it’s been constant 9:10 ratio about him. She is leaving work having panic attacks, needing to come over to not be alone, messaging me as if I am her diary, telling me she should stop because I’m a friend and not a therapist, then will unload more messages about being unlovable, he’s an asshole, she’s seeking therapy because of him and writing me rhetorical questions such as “am I emotionally connected to this man, why do I feel this way, when do I trust my gut, why am I so emotionally invested in this man” and I get those types at least every other day, in addition to the othersI told her the seek therapy because I’m not a therapist, and she recognized and texts and says “sorry I will stop, you’re a friend, not a therapist, I won’t continue” and keeps sending repeatedly. It is very concerning and emotionally taxing, and I finally said again “I am not a therapist, you need to talk to someone who is qualified” and she said I know and sent 4 additional bulletpoints about him and I said “I miss when we used to talk about other things than this guy” and she said “I am sorry”, I felt it was an insincere apology, didn’t respond and we haven’t spoken in two days. TL;DR: friend has unloaded on me for three months at least a dozen of times a day about a guy she went on 4 dates with, got hurt by and I said please stop sending me constant messages and she hasn’t texted me after saying “I am sorry” and I didn’t respond | AITA for telling a close friend I was being emotionally dumped on (she has distanced herself since)? | NTA |
10xyl4a | I (F28) and my fiance (M29) are getting married in a few months. Let me start by saying that although I am posting this, my fiance and I are on the same page and a lot of this is coming straight from him (he just doesn’t have his own Reddit and uses mine). Anyways, a good friend of ours (M32, let's call him “Brandon”) is my fiance's best man. He’s a really great guy and has been an amazing friend, almost brother, to my fiance…except when he drinks. He’s been to rehab and did better for a while and my fiance has really supported him, helped find AA meetings for him (he went to a couple then stopped), helped him make safety plans to follow and supported him when he slipped up. It hasn’t helped and in fact it has just been getting worse since he got out of rehab. He’s lying, spending all his money on alcohol, unable to hold down a job. We had a little engagement/joint bachelor and bachelorette party recently at a small bar. He was hungover, asleep and barely woke up in time to the party even after my fiance called him repeatedly. My fiance and Brandon had agreed prior to the party that Brandon would only have one drink. However, Brandon had four drinks and was quite sloshed by the end of the evening. He also repeatedly asked members of the wedding party including my fiance and myself to pay for his drinks and was generally kind of a jerk. My fiance and I discussed it and decided that we still want him at the wedding but we don’t want him there drunk and behaving like that, so we are going to tell the bar staff at the venue not to serve drinks to him. It’s an open bar, so we’re paying the cost. We would also do whatever we needed to in order to make this discreet for him. We don’t want to be bride/groomzillas but we also want a nice party without drunken drama (as much as possible) and we want the best for our friend. My fiance told him today and needless to say he’s very upset and threatening not to come to the wedding at all. He says that we don’t like him for who he really is. That was kind of heartbreaking to hear and we were already very conflicted over the decision, so now we are especially wondering if we were heartless or if this is a defensive response because of the alcoholism. We mentioned it to one of the other groomsmen and he said he didn’t really think it was a big deal, but I’m not sure if he is clear on Brandon’s history (he bought Brandon drinks at the engagement party after my fiance had told them all not to in advance). So are we the AHs? Brutally honest feedback welcome, if we did mess up here we want to make it right and take it back. Or if the intention was okay but the execution not so much that would be good to know. | AITA for telling the wedding venue not to serve one of the members of the wedding party? | NTA |
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