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10y7ljm | Exactly what the title says. I’m a very quiet person and usually very nice but I am not a doormat. After class people usually hang out and talk to each other for a couple minutes or wait around in their desks. (I usually wait at my desk because I don’t have many friends in this particular class.) So the kid who sits next to me gets up and starts talking to the kid who sits behind me and they both put their backpacks on my desk like I wasn’t even there. I sarcastically said “Yes! Please put your backpacks on my desk!”They looked kinda shocked and quietly apologized and took the bags off. As soon as I said it I regretted it because they both have been nice to me and like I said I don’t have many friends in that class. AITA? | AITA I (15F) told my classmates (15F) to stop putting their backpacks on my desk | NTA |
10y7bjd | I've been working in an office setting for a few years at a company in the midwest and have now gotten a promotion so I'm near the management team. Another manager (not mine) became friends through a project and started to talk and hang out after work (highly discouraged). Shes very attractive and has a fantastic personality which is tough because I've always gotten along and am attracted to older women. But she's married and thats not a problem with me. She's a great friend and super supportive and I am the same with her with no expectations of changing her situation because we were just friends. Until I noticed there was more touching, more flirting, more everything. Once I noticed it I would kind of back off. One night she appeared at my door drunk and told me how her husband and kids just don't get her like I do and she started to kiss me. I was uncomfortable with this because she's still married and still a mom. I didn't let her drive anywhere but I made her sleep on the couch. She left in the morning and I figured she was too drunk to remember but I was wrong. We got teamed up for a project and she didn't want to work with me because I suddenly made her uncomfortable. After a few days I reached out and asked her what happened and she said "the fact that you wouldn't event touch me or kiss me makes me uncomfortable. All I wanted was to have fun with you". I never told anyone and nobody else at work knows anything. AITA? | AITA for me (25m) for making my coworker(41f) uncomfortable for not accepting her? | NTA |
10y5gw4 | So,(18F) I come home from a long day of school, stressed asf because of tests and just people in general. It was one of those days where you just wanna get home and relax. I walk in, say hi to my parents and sister before heading to the kitchen for a snack. I decide on a small sandwich before dinner, so I get to making. As I’m putting it together, my sister (14) comes over and asks me “what are you doing?”….It was plain as day that I was making a damn sandwich, so I ofc say “what does it look like I’m doing?” And I had no tone, I just said it, and my sister goes “could’ve just told me.” As she walks away, I look and see my mom staring at me. So I ofc go “.. do you want one?”And she says “No, just watching you.” So I shrug it off and continue making it, until she goes “You could’ve just said you were making a sandwich.”I’m confused, was I the AH??Edit: for the record everyone, she says the same type of crap to me all the time 💀💀 it’s how we talk to each otherAnother edit: for everyone commenting the same thing; we actually do spend a lot of time together. This was just one of the occasions of where we had a little bit of attitude with each other, we were literally laughing together not even a few minutes later about something that happened at school with her. We ‘argue’ all the time, and literally a few seconds later we laugh it off and be goofy with each other. Just a bit of more context for some people | AITA for being sarcastic to my sister?? | YTA |
10y7405 | Let me preface this by saying my brother (17 m) and I (15) hate each other. I’m not going to dive into that because it’s not what this story is about, but he is the reason I am in therapy.This was a couple weeks ago and it had snowed a lot the night before and everyone had been out shoveling all day. It was around 12 in the afternoon and my younger siblings (8m and 5f) were hungry so my mom asked me to make them lunch so she could finish shoveling. I brought my siblings inside and was helping them with their snow clothes when my older brother (who we’ll call B) asked me to go down to the basement to get his boot dryer.B wasn’t doing anything, he was sitting at the kitchen table so I told him no, I had to get my siblings out of their snow clothes and feed them. B continued to push me (he’s always had issues with taking “no” as an answer and tries to be the boss of everyone) whilst saying things like “Why do you have to be such a bitch?” And “It’ll take you like 2 seconds.” I told him no and eventually ignored him. He then called me an asshole and stormed off. So AITA? | AITA for not getting my older brother his boot dryer? | NTA |
10y2cyt | I (35F) have been with (36M) for about 5 years now. When we first started living together everything was great, but he gradually started getting angrier & told me that he was angry about the living situation (which was admittedly shitty) and it would be better once we got a house. So we got a house.Instead, it got worse. To the point where he had full on temper tantrums (not an exaggeration). When he started throwing things, I told him that was the line and he needed to go to therapy. Which he now does, but it's not really better. He stopped throwing things, but he still lashes out at me when he's frustrated, which is a lot.I've repeatedly pointed out that he never talks to anyone else but me like this, not even his coworkers. He says:>"...using some bullshit undefined standard as to how I would talk to coworkers doesn't work, not helpful and impossible to apply to this situation "He also has what I believe to be unreasonable standards when it comes to living with someone, like today he got really mad because he assumed I had run the dishwasher last night and I didn't, and he accidentally used dirty silverware because he assumed it had been run without asking. Please note that:**a)** he's made a big deal about how I load the dishwasher before so now I always make a announcement about how I'm going to run it soon and he should inspect it if he wants to Which, in all fairness, I did actually do last night, but then forgot to go back downstairs and run it. **b)** there were plenty of clean silverware, just not the big silverware that he likes **c)** the little plaque that says "dirty" or "clean" was set to "dirty"**D)** he never actually asked me if they were clean**E)** he won't run the dishwasher himself because the controls are too complicated and it makes him mad.The point being that he has lots of little things that has to be done HIS way or he gets upset, but when it comes down to things that bother me he's constantly ignoring it or arguing about it.So anyway now he goes to a therapist, but hasn't been showing much if any improvement. Lately he's been talking about things that bother him after his appointment. Fine, but like, he's telling me that I "disrespect" and "dehumanize" him by not giving him enough notice (three days! He had no plans!) when I want to do something by myself. So today I pretty much told him to pound sand because I wasn't interested in bending over backwards for him if he's not going to treat me with the same respect he gives his coworkers. And I feel bad because he IS coming to me with things that that bother him, and I'm basically telling him to fuck off. Especially after I missed a very important event to me because he threw a shit fit over it.But it IS kind of hypocritical for me to push back on requests for respect, especially when they're stemming from therapy appointments I insisted on.What say you? | AITA for shitting on my SO's requests after therapy? | NTA |
10y4y0g | I've known this friend of mine for 5 years. He's a talented musician and has developed this new notation which could enable people to more easily transpose, improvise and so on. He's trying to spread this privately and via social media, but has trouble getting exposure. His goal is to found a music school (but he has no business experience or anything beyond his A-levels). I have (as I feel) given emotional support to P., listened to his concerns, helped him with shooting videos and even appeared in one even though I'm uncomfortable with that sort of thing. I have given him upwards of 600 bucks over the years, most of which I haven't gotten back. He has helped me over the years (dropped off food when I had Covid, got a sunscreen for my top-floor flat) but I never asked him to. He wants me to talk to my friends or his Mom (who I work for) so he can connect with them about the notation or just demonstrate it. I feel uncomfortable with this, as he can be pushy. He says I don't care about him at all, calls me a cold-hearted bastard, an a-hole etc. He thinks I owe him help due to the fact that he has helped me in the past, the fact that he has no one else, and the value of his idea. Am I the asshole for refusing? | AITA for not helping my friend? | NTA |
10y8dka | I'm a powerlifter and belong to a small gym next to where I work. It's a bit underequipped, but is super convenient so I don't mind. When I went in there today, there was only one other person in the gym, a woman in her early 20s. She was doing hip thrusts with a dumbell in the corner next to the only squat rack the gym has. I finished my deadlifts on the opposite side of the gym and went over next to her to start setting up my bar for squats. I hadn't started my set, but as I was loading my weights on, she picked up a 15kg fixed barbell and started squatting it next to me. I had begun setting up the bar before she started, and by no means *decided* to do squats specifically because she was doing them and I wanted to show her up. Its just a poor coincidence that she happened to be a couple of feet away from the only squat rack in the entire gym when that was the only exercise I had left.I wouldn't consider myself an intimidating or scary person by any means, I'm a 5'4, 23 year old female, so I didn't feel it necessary to wait for her to finish her workout before I began. 15kg is significantly less than my warmup weight, but who cares? I wasn't paying attention to her workout, so I didn't think she'd be paying attention to mine. I put a few more plates on my bar and started my set, at which point she rolled her eyes and sighed. I ignored her and carried on, but she was tapping her foot and staring daggers at me. I asked if she needed anything and she said I should stop "grunting and throwing weights around" (I wasn't) to try and "prove something". I just fucked off to the leg press.AITA? I understand that the gym can be hard for beginners, but I genuinely didn't think anything of it and wasn't trying to embarass her. | AITA for powerlifting next to the only girl in the whole gym? | NTA |
10y3uh1 | I(29M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for three years. I'm proposing soon, I've already bought the ring. We have a very healthy, communicative relationship.Over the last few weeks, my girlfriend has been snapchatting her ex (29M) pretty frequently. A bit of background, they dated ~5 years ago and ended on amicable terms, but didn't really keep in contact at all. They weren't friends before they started dating. They have just "reconnected" in the last few weeks. She told me about it without me asking, and doesn't try to hide it from me when she messages him. Today, she texted me while at work to tell me she would be going out for drinks to catch up with her ex immediately after work. She is planning to be gone for ~3 hours. I haven't responded to her text yet. I'm pretty caught off guard. I trust her, and we haven't explicitly discussed the "rules" about exes in our relationship because it never came up before. I do know that she'd hate the idea of me hanging out with any of my exes, especially if we were alone. The more I think about it, the more I just need to know WHY she wants to see him. Does she want to establish a long term friendship? They weren't friends before they dated, so their only history is romantic. She has plenty of friends, why does she need to make an active effort to "rekindle" her connection with an ex? It's frustrating because I think she knows it would make me uncomfortable but is doing it anyway. I have plenty of exes, but those chapters of my life are closed. The idea of spending 3 hours hanging out with an ex just does not appeal to me, and I know it would make her uncomfortable if I went and did that.But I know I can't stop her from hanging out with whoever she wants. I can't control her life, she gets to set her social calendar. But Would I Be The Asshole if I asked her not to go? OR WIBTA if after she returns tonight, I ask her not to see him again? | WIBTA If I Asked My Girlfriend Not To Hang Out Alone With Her Ex Boyfriend? | NTA |
10y7ul0 | I (15f) have started to refuse to do any housework that my mother has set me to do.Recently my mother (36f) has divorced my stepdad that up until their divorce has done all the housework on top of being the sole provider. This has caused a number of problems in their relationship because my mum, a stay at home wife refused to do any housework and when she did it was something half assed like everything misplaced but dishes (in the wrong place) and surfaces clean. she doesn’t help with handy work either, she would sit in bed while 8yr old me helped my stepdad repaint or build something because she didn’t want to.After he left (she cheated on him then he cheated on her.) the house has been in disrepair, mould growing, cracked walls, papers and letters everywhere, rotting pans. her room has signs of mild hoarding old mints melted on the windowsill e.t.c. despite being on benefits the house would still be dirty even though she did nothing all day. so i stepped up and deep cleaned semi regularly which i didn’t mind at all. I would get praised and all was well. But she wouldn’t keep the clean up and soon started a full time job with 4 days on and 4 days off. The house was often in disarray and she refused to clean so now daily I would clean after her and my little sister this would often take 2 hours after school, whenever i couldn’t clean because i was busy or sick she would tell me “you never clean.” “you clean once a month” “the house is dirty and i’m so stressed” this would be the next day after the house was spotless. she doesn’t cook dinner anymore, so i have to. she sometimes works in the mornings, so i drop my sister. I repaint, i mop, i hoover, i get feet infections because she walks around with dirty shoes on, I cook, I clean, I take care and study with my sister, I help read and write her emails. Every. Day. when i take a break because I spend all my time playing house wife because i’m sick or doing homework when she can but just doesn’t want to do anything. I get “you never clean”, “your so dirty.” or she huffs gruffs and moans because she expects it. I have my gcses in 3 months and all my time is spent cleaning after her and my sister and homemaking. i tried telling her i can’t but she reply’s “i don’t do anything anyways.” i want to let the house run to shit to show how much i do. But i can’t because that negatively affects me. i’m just so overloaded idk what to do. Am i the asshole | AITA for refusing to do any work in my house? | NTA |
10y3bvs | Throwaway.My (41M) wife (41F) and I have been together for nearly 20 years. In 2019 we had our first child (3F) Evelynn who was born prematurely. The doctors told us to be careful about who we exposed her to because of a weakened immune system. Then, around her first birthday the pandemic hit. Between us both trying to juggle jobs and be new parents alone and isolated, it was a lot of stress. During the pandemic we both worked remotely and split parenting duties.My wife was having difficulties with a toxic work culture. We both decided that she should take some time off to find something else she's passionate about. We didn't agree to any specific timeline but didn't have much debt, and were living well within our means so I was very comfortable with giving her the time she needed to regroup and reassess to find a new job. So she left her job in the summer of 2021.During this time, we had both been looking for job opportunities to move to a neighboring state so we could be closer to family. I ended up getting a great job offer and we relocated in November of 2021. At that time, my wife did an incredible job getting the house packed and sold and us moved into our new home. It was a lot of work.Since we've moved, my wife has applied for maybe one or two jobs. She was contacted by a headhunter and went through a few interviews, but nothing has stuck. She took some contract work with a design firm but didn't give it her all and they let the contract run its course. She said she wasn’t motivated.We put Evelynn in full time preschool in April 2022 so my wife could focus on finding a job. Preschool tuition is double what it was in our old city, and our new home is more expensive. Which is adding to the urgency of needing to find something, in my mind.She'll tell me about a job she may apply for, but then doesn't. Her brother and I have encouraged her to pursue more contract work and she hasn't done that either. She gets frustrated if I job search for her and send her anything that looks promising.She hasn't taken on additional responsibilities with the house, I still cook every night, grocery shop, split taking care of Evelynn 50/50, I let her sleep in on the weekends so that she feels supported in recovering from her work burnout but she hasn't taken on any additional responsibility.I'm fine with her not working if that's what she decides to do, it would just mean that Evelynn needs to stay home with her until she gets to kindergarten because the preschool payment is practically a second mortgage.So WIBTA, reddit, if I told my wife she needed to find a job soon? I know that it can take time, but I would like to see some progress made (setting a goal of 5 applications a month or something like that) on her part or some indication that she's working towards it? She admits she needs to find something, she's just not following through with it. | WIBTA for telling my wife she needs to find a job soon? | NTA |
10y77zo | First post and on mobile.Me (20f) and my sister S (17f) went to a concert for my favourite artist last weekend. I’ve waited 5 years for these tickets and we had to go far. I bought them months and asked S to go as someone dropped out. Due to this, I paid for the hotel room, train tickets and concert ticket. I just wanted someone to go with me and enjoy it. S doesn’t know this band well, only their most famous songs but was happy to go anyway. We went to the concert. We had a few drunk people who nearly ruined it: making us get up so they could get out of the row, towards the end someone accidentally hit S while dancing, I told them off and we tried to make the best of it. S got up and danced for 2 of the songs, and the rest she was sat down with a resting bitch face. This bothered me but I knew the drunk people were getting to her, and after waiting so long and travelling so far, I was determined to enjoy it. S said she enjoyed it too, but as soon as it finished she phoned our dad to complain. Once she’d finished talking to dad, she phoned mum and did the same thing. S complained about the drunk people, wished she had standing tickets, and although S said she enjoyed it, both phone calls were very negative. I could only call them after she was done but I was bit deflated at that point. Today the band released their international tickets. I was desperate to go again because I loved this album and wanted a potentially better experience.I was discussing it with dad and S overheard and said she’d like to go but for the ‘standing ticket’ experience even though she didn’t know 16/20 of the songs. I cannot get a standing ticket. I have a disability and cannot stand for long periods of time. She is very aware of this as we had seated tickets for the previous concert. S said that she’d pay for her ticket, we could travel together— I’d go to seated and her to standing. I said no, that I would buy two seated tickets like I did last time and invite one of my friends to go with me. I’d been discussing going on a mini-holiday with one of my friends in the same country the concert is in. This friend also loves the band, but couldn’t afford to go before. I said to S that I didn’t want to go with her. I wanted someone who would enjoy the concert with me— sing, dance and not complain. Also, while she would pay for her ticket, she probably won’t pay for the plane ticket, her half of the hotel room, and she wasn’t a joy to be around for most of those 48 hours. Even if mum offered to cover her half, I still don’t want to go with her. So I bought two seated tickets to the concert, and text my friend about potentially going. S got upset because she said I knew she wanted to go and deliberately bought two tickets and refused to offer her one (for her to reimburse me for). Mum asked me what my problem was. I explained my reasons again, and it was implied I was an asshole. So AITA? | AITA for not wanting my sister to come with me to a concert again? | NTA |
10y6brp | We have the biggest orchestra concert coming up we will have had probably 11 rehearsals to prepare. I’ve missed 3 due to car trouble or illness. I also have a degree recital coming up. Most of the time we are taken out of the rotation to alleviate the stress and focus on our recital. My section and director are upset and don’t feel like I’ll be prepared for the concert. Is it fair when they were awarded time away from orchestra to get ready for their degree recitals and have school affiliated jobs that work around their schedule flexibly when my work also does not amidst doing a recital in a similar amount of time? I feel like a jerk, while feeling like I maybe shouldn’t. They have school jobs and a strong support system whereas I have to work a serving job that doesn’t necessary observe my requests for time off and I also have to work a lot to pay my bills. Making it hard to “show up” sometimes. | AITA For missing some rehearsals? | YTA |
10y55se | My ex (M 39) and I (F 43) had been together for 9yrs. We have 2 children (7 & 5) and have lived together for a little over 7yrs. 4 yrs ago I bought a house and it is in my name only. He was bitter and upset about it, but we were not married and his credit was not good enough to be on the loan. So everything with the house is in my name. I was married before and have absolutely no desire to get married again. We had been having issues in our relationship for about a 1yr and everything came to a head right around Thanksgiving 2022 and after a brief separation (\~2wks) I could tell nothing was going to get resolved and told him I was ending the relationship. He still wants to work on the relationship & is still trying to convince me to get back together. I have told him No repeatedly & he needs to make plans to get his things. There is a shed in the backyard I told him I would store his things & he could come to pick them up once he got a place & got them settled.Now about the fish, about 2yrs ago he built a pond in the backyard and a neighbor gave him 17 fairly large Koi fish. These are not fish someone can put in a fish tank and keep inside and he has added more fish over the last couple yrs. There are still 15 large Koi and bunch of smaller fish. The pond has required a lot of upkeep and maintenance that he mostly took care of. I would help feed the fish occasionally, but for the most part, I wanted nothing to do with it. Now that we are split up and I have asked him several times what the plan for the fish & his things is & he never gives me an answer. He just keeps saying he wants to get back together. This is not going to happen & I have made that clear to him.Well, it's starting to warm up here and I can tell the pump needs to be fixed again bc it is barely moving any water and the pond water is turning green already. I have been feeding the fish every few days, but that is the extent of my knowledge of caring for the fish and the pond. I do not have the time or money to figure out what needs to be done, so I found a fish/pond guy in our area and told my ex the guy was coming to look at the fish in the next 2 wks & he was probably going to take the fish & I would fill in the hole for the pond. He flipped out & said he wanted the fish & that I can't just get rid of his things. It has been over 45 days since we split and he has made absolutely no plans to pick up any of things or told me any plans for the fish.So I told my ex he has until the fish/pond guy comes to get the fish, otherwise, I'm going to let him take them. He is LIVID & saying I can't expect him to find something to do with all these fish in a rental. He's saying I'm heartless and all the stuffs, but I really don't want to let these fish suffer bc of my lack of knowledge/experience/money/time/etc. I told him I don't want to deal with the pond/fish upkeep/maintenance and if hasn't picked them up before the other guy comes, he can have them.WIBTA for letting the fish/pond guy take the fish? | WIBTA for getting rid of ExBf Coy Fish? | NTA |
10y87ru | Okay, bear with me because there's a bit of backstory for this one.My (F31) sister (F42) has 4 dogs, 2 of which are not getting along at the moment. They're fine one minute and then one dog (40 lb Springer Spaniel) will jump her other dog (14 lb Chinese Crested) and they fight. The Chinese Crested has gotten injuries that required vet attention, but were not life threatening. My sister and her fiance have gone back and forth about rehoming the Springer (who was the most recent addition to the household after her other Springer passed away), but ultimately end up trying other ways of making their situation work. They've hired 2 dog trainers, they keep all toys put away, they crate the Springer when they're not home, and they've tried bonding walks, playdates with just the two of them, etc. These dogs get along 90% of the time, but since November they've had 4 fights.Onto the current situation: My sister is planning on going out of town for her birthday in 3 weeks. She doesn't want to leave her housesitter with the two dogs that may fight, so she asked if I could keep her for the weekend and I agreed. I have 2 dogs of my own (40 lb mutt mix and 9 lb Italian Greyhound). We have kept her Springer overnight and had her over a bunch of times, and my dogs have all gotten along with her, and there has never even been a WINK of an issue between them. We really think this is an issue between the two dogs that live together.However, this week they had another fight that scared my sister. She called me crying today saying they think they're going to have to rehome her but don't know when that will be. I feel awful for her, she has truly tried EVERYTHING to make her situation work. Here's where I may be TA though: She asked me if I was still comfortable with her dog staying at my house during their weekend away, and I said I wasn't going to lie, it makes me really uncomfortable. My Italian Greyhound is smaller and is even less solid than her Chinese Crested; if she were to decide that my dog was getting on her nerves, I have no doubt that she could severely injure him, or worse. I may have to tell her that I don't feel comfortable doing it anymore, which would mean that she can't go on her birthday trip. I grew up around dog fights and honestly just thinking about that happening is giving me major anxiety, just typing this out. My childhood dog was almost killed so many times after getting into fights with my mom's dog (we had to keep them separated at all times until I could move us out). I'm scared something will happen to my little dog, even though I don't really have a reason to be scared of this particular situation. WIBTA if I revoked pet-sitting privileges based on old fears? | WIBTA if I told my sister I can't watch her dog anymore after promising I would? | YWNBTA |
10y870c | so we have been knowing each other for years we are 18 and we go to gym together and we used to go to school together and... , we usually make funny jokes about eachother alot and we lauth it off but sometimes the jokes are kinda disrespectful and i dont like bieng mocked so i tell them to stop in serious tone but they just keep mocking until i get away from them , its been like this for years and i just didnt do anything more than usual.so one day i got really angry when we were talking online and told my friend "get out of your house i want to fight" then i wait for him in the street but he didnt take me seriously and thought i was joking so i went to the front of his house and started a fight and told him to never do this again(i couldn't beat him tho , i'm not a good fighter)then after half an hour my other friend comes and two of them told me to visit them and talk about it and i thought they are going to jump on me and beat me, since i didnt like bieng a coward i went to confront them but surprisingly they actually wanted to talk and told me it was just a joke and i over reacted like im at fault hereSO am i at fault or i did the right thing? what should i do?sorry if its too long. | AITA when my friends kept making fun of me and i started a fight | NTA |
10y82sl | I want to see if I'm the AH for being stubborn/unyielding on this, so I can do better for future relationships. We're both mid-20's.When he bought the house, we'd been dating for 7 months (but we both intended for it to be a serious, life-long relationship), and he didn't say that he expected us to live together in the near future. When he first looked at the house, he asked for my opinion, and I said that I didn't like it at all and would never live in it. It was overpriced, old (>110yo), and IMO decrepit, creepy, & ugly. He'd also have to spend money to fix things clearly wrong with it. He bought it anyway, so I assumed that he would live in it by himself and we could buy a different place together in the future if we get to that point.I bought a condo shortly afterwards (living with my parents hurt my mental health). I knew that he didn't like shared walls (main reason was sound, but my condo has good soundproofing), but I hadn't expected for him to live in it.We talked about our future later on, and turns out he actually expected me to live in his house with him right away, and that the only option now was for us to live in both places in rotation. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to live with him so soon into the relationship, never mind live with him in a house that he knew I hated. He broke up with me (a bit after 1 year of dating), but I was also pretty done by then (there were other contributing factors, but housing was the main one).After we broke up, I reflected on the things I did wrong (eg. our terrible communication, which led to the housing issue) and took steps towards improving myself. I wanted to improve myself for future relationships, but I still had a lot of feelings towards him, so I ended up reaching out to him a few months later to see if it'd be worth trying again. He said that he worked on himself too.During our discussions, I said I wouldn't live in his house, since I was clear about that from the start. I also had a lot of feelings of hurt and being disrespected surrounding this, and I wouldn't be happy living in the house. I'd also feel creeped/grossed out if I lived in it (it looks like a haunted house, and it's also not the cleanest). He suggested that we could both rent out our homes and then rent a place together to live in, but I said no because I'm not comfortable with the risk of being a landlord.I suggested that he can move in with me (for a few years, until we decided if we wanted to buy a place together) and I wouldn't charge him rent or anything. He'd pay his own mortgage, and I'd pay my own. His sister pays him rent to live at his home as a housemate anyway, so his house wouldn't be empty.He said that he didn't think that this was a reasonable compromise. I told him that if any "reasonable compromise" for him meant that I had to live in his house at all, then there was no point in us discussing anymore. He basically agreed that there's no point in further discussion, and I cut off contact forever. | AITA for refusing to live in my (now) ex's house because he bought it knowing that I hated it? | NTA |
10y4ow1 | I am due to go on a 3-day weekend trip with 4 friends in June, specifically to go to a concert of a band we love. We didn’t lock down accommodation yet, just tentatively booked an Airbnb with free cancellation. We might also have the option to stay at a friend’s family place. However, we did buy concert tickets already and I paid my ticket. However, my grandparents who I didn’t see since Covid lockdowns are now planning to visit my city during the weekend of the holiday. As they live abroad usually, I rarely get to see them. They are super excited to see me and specifically to see my brother and I. AITA for cancelling plans of my friends to stay at home and see my grandparents instead? Tl;dr AITA for cancelling plans with friends to see my grandparents who usually live abroad and didn’t travel to our country since Covid? | AITA for cancelling a holiday with friends to see my grandparents? | NTA |
10y80s2 | This is long ad messy. In high I had two best friends. Mark(would be 32) and May(32f). I(30m) got kicked out of the house when I turned 16. Marks family took me in and became like my adopted parents. (Im 2 years younger)Mark and May started dating when they were juniors in HS. After they graduated Mark joined the military. During his first leave May became pregnant. Shortly after his return to service Mark passed away. We were devastated. She at the time was staying with Mark's parents and I was still living there.I took her to all of her appointments. Helped her through her pregnancy. They put Marks name on the birth certificate. By this time I had graduated early and was looking to go to local college. I became busy with school but helped any time I could. Three years later I graduated got a good job and my own place. May moved in with me with her now 3 years old daughter Alice. Alice started calling me dada. We tried to persuade her not to do that. But we failed.A year of us living together I started having real feelings for May. I talked to marks parents and they gave me the green light. Nothing happened between us up to this point.Two yeas later we married. One year after that she gave birth to our daughter Jenny.Yesterday was Alice's 12th birthday. It was just me, May Alice, Jenny and Marks parents. We have told her about Mark throughout the years and she knows that he is really her dad. When Alice finished up opening her presents she pulled a last one out and handed it to me. I opened it and it was adoption papers. At some point Alice told May that she wanted to be "officially" my daughter. I explained that she is my daughter and I love her with all my heart. I tried to explain that Mark is her birth father and that she is both his and my daughter. With that I gently explained that I don't think it was a good idea and I would have to think about it. She got upset and ran to her room. Marks parents ended up leaving. May and I got in to a fight. I said I don't want to erase Mark from our history. After some back and forth she called me an AH and walked to alices room. She wouldn't let me in to talk and locked me out of the room. This morning she would not talk to me and Alice was still crying. I don't know what to do. Please help! Also I know it will be said divorce is NOT an option. I plan on going over to Mark's parents later tonight. | AITA for not wanting "officially" adopting my daughter? | NTA |
10y4iiu | My spouse(42M) and I(38NB) recently had our offer accepted for a home after months of searching. This is a big deal to us and huge milestone in our journey.My mom & MIL have both been kept up to date on it - they're thrilled. I haven't told my sis(43F) I was looking for a house, or that we bought one. Reason: we've had a very complicated relationship.Growing up, we were in an abusive home, where dad was emotionally, verbally, and financially abusive to us: mom, my sis and me. Mom was not able to leave until I was about 15. I was abused the least because I learned from watching mom and sis, & rarely got on dad's anger. My sis got the worst. Dad refused to pay for her exams cos 'all she's worth is marrying off', got shipped to his mom after, and only came back after she had a nervous breakdown a few months later. She didn't get to live her HS years and college life (never went) cos of him, but I did. I love her. I look up to her, but I was the 'annoying lil sib' to her. She lived HS & uni XP through me, and I loved having her around. But over time, my big milestones (grad school abroad, my wedding to my soulmate, coming out NB, etc), she wasn’t there. Physical was impossible due to her child's custody agreements that led to a police record - can't travel. It's not being there emotionally that started to hurt. She always had some big tragedy that made it hard for me to give good news, like I was rubbing it in.Over time, every convo had was about her, and if I try to bring up my stuff, it goes back to her. In Dec, she confided being in therapy & she said that she resents me. Just that. This was the last heartbreak I could stand. There's bad ones. Like me go LC/NC with extended family cos she claimed male members were being inappropriate w/her & finding out later it was false & now I'm estranged w/them; assaulting me & now I have scars; banning me from nibling cos I defender her from BD calling her 'too fat to f\*\*\*' (he makes my dad look like Mr Rogers). But the recent comment was it. The reason I'm LC cos she still lives in same place as mom & able to be there for mom. But after this, I didn't want to tell her I was house hunting because it feels like I'm rubbing it in. TBH, I don't need bad vibes. If I don't tell her, it’ll make her resent me more cos not telling her. WIBTA if I don't tell her about the house? | WIBTA if I don't tell sis I bought a house? | NTA |
10y3fuh | Ok so I’ll try to be clear. I (17f) and my friend A(17f) like to make up dumb games together like word plays or stuff we find funny. The problem is when we share this game with our friend group. most of them don’t partake but two of them we’ll say B(18f) and C (17f) just imitate us with silly voices and clearly make fun of us . We told them countless of time that they are not funny but they just don’t stop. This week I have the Flu so I am at home and today they FaceTimed me. I first I thought it was to check on me but no it was to mock our new game we invented last week. BTW C promised not to mock this game earlier this week. So I just hung up and texted them that it makes me really sad that they do that. B said that she couldn’t say anything anymore ( it’s literally the first time I told her not to joke about something)and that I should have said something sooner. C apologised. None of them are mad at me but I feel horrible because I don’t want to be one of these people that are super easily offended and you can’t joke around. AITA ?EDIT : they don’t make fun of us for a long time ( maybe like 10 minutes each time) but what really bothers me is that they do it EVERY DAY maybe even multiple times a day. | AITA for as long my friends to stop making fun of me ? | NTA |
10y6nt9 | You'll see I've had issues with coworkers in the past haven't we all? But I have one dude who's had a chip on his shoulder because of his superiority complex, including One day I told him to fuck off you are not my boss. Because yes he's had more time in. But his title is no higher or lower than mine.Today's escapades: we are currently understaffed so today I was the server, cook, and Front desk agent. In addition to that we had several deliveries that needed to be taken care of. Lastly had to set up for a large breakfast group this weekend.Once I was done with the breakfast stuff I put the food order away and reorganized the freezer to accommodate the 4 new products. And just put the new order in the coolers not rotated. Still in boxes.My boss knows ill get it over the next few days as I'm the only one who will take care of it. And they are fine with it.After lunch, the other deliveries started to show up. Luckily they weren't temperature sensitive so I'll let them wait till my relief came in for the front desk.Change of shiftI mentioned to said relief (dude mentioned above) we will call him CHIPOP: hey I'm gonna help so and so with the breakfast setup then put away the order neatly.Chip: no you won't just let the other guy handle it.OP: nah I want it done a certain way with this new setup (for context I do all the food and beverage purchasing and just recently set up a new storage room) Chip: no! The other guy can do it. So I tossed the keys on the desk and walked away. Helped set up for the breakfast stuff with, so and so.Little did CHIP know the storage room was already unlocked so I walked in there and took care of it and wow was I proud. I bounced back to the kitchen to take care of a rack of dishes I left earlier, and I didn't want to leave for the night shift. LOW AND BEHOLD CHIP WALKS IN the kitchen.Chip: Hey you need to go! With his usual attitude.Op: yep as soon as I'm done with this Chip: NO! you need to go now!OP: dude... you don't sign my paycheck.Chip: I'll just call the owner and .....(Toned him out at that point)OP: you go right on ahead, you do what you need to.I finished the one rack of dishes. Put on my coat and clocked out still wishing him and my other coworker a good night. | AITA Told a coworker to call the owner! | ESH |
10y6bfe | So I (22 M) have been taking down my neighbors signs that they put on every light post and tree throughout the neighborhood. These signs are both lost dog and found dog signs as they found their dog and decided to put up posts up all over. I’m very happy for them and the fact they found their dog but that’s beside the point. I’ve been taking down the signs the posts seeing as they have been there for weeks and are rotting and falling off and their purpose has been served.My roommate (21 F) says it’s both not my responsibility and that it should be their decision to take them down when they want so I shouldn’t be doing it. While I see her point but I do not believe my neighbors will make the effort to clean up and I feel like I’m doing the neighborhood a service by helping out. AITA? | AITA for taking down signs throughout my neighborhood | NTA |
10y5zua | I (17F) am the drummer of the band, I joined 2 years ago when it only consisted of the guitarist ("Lee", 18F) and the singer ("Ginny", 17F), who's one of my closest friends (we've known each other way before the band).At first the 3 of us had lots of fun together and I loved being in the band. The problems started when Lee invited her friend, "Nelly" (18F), to play the keyboard for the band. She briefly played the keyboard at first but then decided she wanted to play bass instead. We were sceptic at first, as she had never played bass before, but Lee took her under her wing and gave her bass lessons.Unfortunately,she struggles to play right and the rest of us are slowed down. But what's especially a problem is her personnality. She's very stubborn and puts others down. Ginny and I are quite "submissive" people and will avoid conflict as much as possible, so when Nelly starts being stubborn and raising her voice we let it go. For example, she doesn't hesitate to tell us whenever we do something wrong (in a demeaning way), but god forbid we ever tell her she made an error, she would then start to get defensive and we would sure regret to have ever said something. Lee is kind of neutral in this conflict, but since she's her friend too, she doesn't want any conflict either.So, there have been some tensions for quite a while, and I can sense that Nelly doesn't like me. For quite some time I have felt miserable in the band, feeling constantly put down and not having the guts to stand up for myself.Another problem is the smoking. Lee and Nelly both smoke, and will take a smoke break every rehearsal. Because the basement doesn't have any windows and they always stay inside to smoke, Ginny and I always end up having to breathe the smoke. We always go home with our clothes and hair stinking of cigarette. We talked to them about it, and they will go further in the room (never actually outside) to smoke the first time, before forgetting about it and again smoking in front of us the times after that.In the present time, I have no motivation anymore. I don't enjoy the songs we're playing, we don't play concerts anymore, I hate coming home all stinky and I just don't like the vibe in general. I think it's just an accumulation of all the problems and I admit that right now I'm not doing very much effort to make things better.Ginny sees how miserable I am and says that I should just quit now. I had planned to quit when the year is over but it feels like it's in such a long time, and I really have 0 motivation. I already have another band that I love so I wouldn't be bandless, and I know it wouldn't affect my friendship with Ginny at all. However, I did have some good times with the band, Nelly can be very nice at times, and I would feel bad about abandoning the band in the middle of the year, when we're in the middle of learning new songs for potential future concerts.So, WIBTA for quitting now ? | WIBTA if I quit my band in the middle of the year ? | NTA |
10y55az | So I (19F) have a best friend of 7 years. We tell each other everything about each other’s lives and basically are family at this point. I have been feeling low lately and I kept it quiet. My friend asked me to come watch a movie with him on the weekend just passed and I said Yh. 3 days after this conversation about going out, I ended up in hospital on the morning I was supposed to meet my friend. I didn’t want to worry him, so, I lied to him and told him I had a cold and needed to work on some course because I was behind. He said he understood and tha we can go next weekend. I feel bad for not telling him but at the same time it wasn’t tha bad right?ATIA? | AITA for lying to my friend about why I couldn’t meet him? | NTA |
10y4qxt | I (40F) have been with my boyfriend (43M) for just over 4 years. He works 8 months out of the year and is furloughed for 4 months. The first time this happened was during our first year together and since we didn't live together, it wasn't really an issue. The second year we now live together, he was only furloughed for a couple months and it wasn't so bad, and the third year he got another job that ended up not working out, but filled in the time he would have been furloughed. Now he is back at original job. He has been home for 3 months and has another to go and has done nothing. Before the furlough, we talked about it, and I expressed my concern about him being bored/lonely etc, but he said he would work on projects around our house and had a plan. He gets up with me in the morning around 6:30AM, starts my car, helps me get my lunch together, then after I leave goes back to bed until noon+. He just seems to watch a lot of TV and smoke a lot and drink. He collects unemployment, but it does not cover his cost for half the bills so I pick up the slack. He is very excited to see me when I get home from work, and I am pleased to see him, but it is stressing me out being the most important thing in his life. I am very independent, he knows this. I am an introvert, and I like my alone time. He is ignoring everything he knows about me and will just talk and talk for an hour or more. Yes, I have told him this is a problem for me, that I need some time to decompress, but it's like he can't help himself. On one level, I get it, he's lonely, depressed, and happy to see me. But I have asked him multiple times to do SOMETHING during the day. Clean the house, go fishing, visit his parents etc. I can see him getting kind of depressed and nothing I can do helps. I can't force him to do chores or get the projects he said he would done. He's an adult and can make his own life choices. He does not want to see a doctor and has no money for therapy. This situation is making me sad and depressed too. So, WIBTA if I tell him I can't do this again and ask him to go stay with a friend or his parents for his next furlough? or get at least a part time job for the furlough period. I don't need to hear I have a boyfriend problem. I do not want us to break up. When he is working, he is a different man and I love him. There's not enough space here to write about the good stuff, this question is about something other than all that. INFO: I own the house, pay most of the bills, buy all the food etc. He makes a lot less money than me. Yes, I potentially have more power because of that and feel like I may be an asshole for making this request or asking him for other options for what he can do during his next furlough. He will do chores with me on the weekends when I'm home just like we have always done when we are both working. WIBTA if I even bring this up? Am I over reacting? | WIBTA is I ask my BF to move out for his furloughs? | YWBTA |
10y4bjx | I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, english is my 3rd language.I've already posted this once but I felt I left out a lot of detail. It all started when I (13F) had a discord server with kids in my school/kids near me around my age that either me or my friends knew. It was fun and everyone were chill with each other. If anyone is curious, the server is now deleted.This guy (14M) who went to my school joined the server. Some other members were making fun of him and I defended him because what they said wasn't right. We became friends and started to talk.The next school day during lunch he walked up to me, grabbed my shoulder and said: "Are you that girl from discord? It's me, ___."We had a short conversation and I genuienly got along with him. We started to talk more and more on discord until he asked me out one day. I am a lesbian, and even if I wasn't I don't think I would be interested. Not because he's unattractive or rude I just wasn't really interested in having a romantic relationship at all. I tried to explain that to him in the nicest ways possible and he said it was okay. I felt a bit bad since I knew how he must've felt but he seemed okay with it, but man, he was NOT.If I remember correctly the next morning I woke up to around 17 long messages asking me why I wouldn't date him since we were "meant to be together". He said I was "perfect, beautiful, intelligent" and whatnot. I thanked him for the compliments but once again explained in the most polite way I could that I was just not interested and that I wish him luck to find someone else. He lost it. Sent around 300+ messages daily telling me he'll hurt someone or himself if I didn't date him. I didn't know what to do so I blocked him but he kept approaching me in school and even his friends pressured me to give him another chance.He just got worse and explained how he would turn me straight and that I was just mentally ill. I told my friends and parents and he got VERY mad that I shared that "private information" between us. He also harrassed my friends. He said bad things about christianity to my Christian friend, said abliest things to both me and my other friend (we are both autistic) and even made fun of him for his weight.At this point I was done. I didn't want to accept that he was being an asshole to both me and my friend. I lashed out at him VARIOUS TIMES telling him he's a creep, a stalker (he took pictures of me around school and sent them to people), a homophobe and a lot more. He blocked me, unblocked me and then apologized but when I questioned ANYTHING he got mad and blocked me again calling me a whore.He has unblocked me now but we don't talk. I don't feel like talking to him. Me and my friends thought it was hilarious and laughed about it but it just feels like we were making fun of him. And I had yelled at him and called him things. I was really mad but I'm not sure whether I did the right thing. Just any advice would help! | AITA for lashing out at my friend? | NTA |
10y3jls | First time post. I (27F) am a law lecturer with 2 degrees and will sit for the bar exams in my country in June. My fiancé(28M) let's call him Jake, is a lawyer. My brother OB, (19M) is an IT student at a very prestigious University. Now, this whole issue started when OB was delayed 1yr in school as a result of a mistake on the part of his Uni Department. Jake got furious and decided to take the University on. Upon contacting them, they decided to settle but the amount could not even cover a semester's fees and OB refused. He was then contacted by his Head of Department to meet with him today and he flat out refused the offer and brought a counter offer stating that, he'd spoken with his lawyer(Jake) about it. When he called Jake, he texted back that he was in court and should therefore call me to speak to the HOD since I knew the full details. I spoke with him and when he was not budging, told him to call Jake after court since it's clear he doesn't want to talk to me. A few hours later, Jake called and said the HOD said I was rude to him and very unprofessionalso, he'd like to conference call all parties to straighten things out. During the conference call, OB revealed he'd recorded everything and that was when the HOD started fumbling and calling me unprofessional and a common intern to Jake who is a lawyer. Mind you, if I'd just read law and gone to the bar, I'd be Jake's senior at the bar but I was into academia and focused on that only. Now, Jake did not defend me but rather apologised on my behalf and I understood because we were trying to get my brother the best offer. After the call, my brother recorded a message about how he wants to tell the HOD is mind, which I advised him against. Then, I forwarded the recording to Jake with a lot of laughing emojis. Jake then blew up and said my brother and I should rein in our tempers as he's trying his best to get him the best. And that with this attitude, he'd end up losing everything. So I got pissed and told him he should have asked me what I told my brother after he sent that recording and that even though he's dealt with clients, I deal with over 300 students a day and I'm also an academic guidance counselor so I wouldn't let my own brother shoot himself in the foot. That, I'm not that condescending and inconsiderate. He apologised but I feel like I was too harsh and may be the AH. So, Am I? | AITA for telling my fiancé I'm not condescending nor inconsiderate? | YTA |
10y2trj | To preface this, I just want to say that I am usually always letting cars go and it was just this 1 time I didn’t. I always make sure to let at least 2 cars marge in from 2 out of the 3 sub-roads. I’m a nice enough person, not some grinch.So, I was exiting the school and there is only 2 exits entirely, however 1 is always blocked at the end of the day for buses so there is only 1 exit. Now, picture 125+ cars trying to get out of 1 exit, not fun right?I was traveling down the main chute (exit) and there is about 3 more sub-roads that connect on, with stop stop signs meaning they don’t have the right away.Basically, I had the right away and a car was coming from one of the sub-roads connecting to the main road and I didn’t let them merge in and instead just went with the flow of traffic.After this, a teacher making sure kids could cross the cross-walk without trouble knocked on my window and made a rolling down gesture and told me that I was essentially in the wrong and that I should let people go (I always let people go, so this was a surprise to me). We didn’t get into an argument but I essentially asked him if I was legally in the wrong, which he replied “no” and a couple of other comments he made and we both went on our ways.AITA for not letting a single car merge? | AITA for not letting a car cut out in front of me? | NTA |
10y8heh | i live in a flatshare with two other 22 year olds in london. many of you may know the uk is experiencing a cost of living crisis where electricity and gas bills are excruciatingly high. when this crisis started, we as a flat (unfortunately like a lot of the country) agreed to not use the heating arbitrarily and preferably not at all.some context: it’s winter here at the moment, experiencing average 0 degree (celcius) nights and we live in a flat with no insulation and single glazing so admittedly it can get cold. me and one of my other flatmates (let’s call her kate) have made some investments to avoid having to use the heating e.g. oodies and hot water bottles to use when it gets cold. our other flatmate (let’s call her alice) however uses it a lot (when we have previously said i would appreciate if she used it less she said she cannot sleep without it).i have used the heating in my room sparingly since the start of winter, i will put it on for half an hour or so on a particularly nippy night whilst i don’t think kate has used her’s at all. we all pay equal bills so i am always extra aware of how my actions may affect how much everyone is going to have to pay.i’m currently working one job with a zero hours contract and am also on universal credit but am struggling to pay the rent and have had to subsequently ask my parents for rent money the past two months so the financial repercussions of the following event are at the forefront of my mind. alice is aware of my situation yet that seems to not have affected her reaction towards me.last night alice had a friend of ours stay in the living room. when i went to talk to them in there just before midnight i noted it was hot. alice said she had put the heating on to warm up the room for the friend. when i went to see the friend at 3pm the next day, the heating was still on. meaning it had been on full blast for at least 15 hours, heating a large room with large single glazed windows. the cost of that i know is going to be unimaginable just based on our current bills already being crazy high.i texted her to let her know about this. despite being unhappy about the fact, i sent the following message with as much self-restraint as i could: “btw the heating was left on in the lounge until i went in to see (friend) at 3pm today. cant be affording that sort of stuff so please be careful next time”. she then exploded on me and accused my message of being passive aggressive.AITA for making her aware of her mistake and asking that she be more considerate?tl;dr AITA for calling my flatmate out for leaving the heating on full for 15 hours in a cost of living crisis? | AITA for asking my flatmate to not use the heating | NTA |
10y8c6h | So a few weeks ago I was at the gym with my friend. We were dancing having a good time. There’s a height difference of nearly a foot between us. I put my hand up and I’m not sure if I’m the reason he was tapped in the face or he was. I started laughing because this was completely unintentional and I said “my bad”. This normally is a adequate form of apology between us.So instead of it not being a big deal like I thought it’d be my friend made a scene and started demanding an apology for slapping him in the face and disrespecting him. I tried to explain it wasn’t on purpose and that I wasn’t going to give him a formal apology(I’ll explain my reasoning behind this later.) about 20 minutes go by, we’re still working out but haven’t said a word to each other because I was letting him cool off. I tried to make a joke about the booty sweat stain he left on the machine and he repeatedly said “I’m not talking to you.”. This finally caused me to get irritated because over the last year he’s done things I found incredibly disrespectful and I never caused such an issue besides telling him that the things he did wasn’t cool in my opinion and he never gave a shit to formally apologize or pay to fix my belongings.1. He did me a favor last year when I moved and took my table to his house. He said he didn’t have room and he’d put it outside. I told him to just put it in shade and put a tarp over it. He proceeded to not put the tarp on in the middle of august in Southern California and my $800 wood table was damaged. He never told me until it brought it to my house a week later then didn’t apologize and told me just to get wood glue to fix it.2. The same time he got my table I lent him a dresser I wasn’t using. He told me 8 months later that he didn’t have room for it and it’s been sitting outside on dirt getting rained on under a tarp for the last two months. I acknowledge that it would of been much easier to just apologize and go on with my day but when he requested the apology with an attitude I immediately thought of these two situations and it annoyed me he needed an apology because his ego got hurt but had no issue with damaging my belongings.I’ve decided regardless of what you say unless he hits me up first to talk about these issues I’m fine with never speaking to him again due to this entire situation. Regardless if we talk I don’t ever plan on being as close as I once was with him. I’m just curious if I’m justified due to our friends telling us to get over it and stop being petty. | AITA for not giving a formal apology to a friend? | ESH |
10y8bu0 | My (15,F) mother (46F) has thing where she often says she is sick. What she does is that whenever she feels something she checks Google about it and starts freaking out. For example, she once saw that the small bump on her head could be a sign of a deadly disease and so she visited 3 doctors and eventually got it removed but they all told her it wasn't really a sign of whatever she thought it was.Another time she felt pain in her wrist and then she told she must be terminally ill and then she also got an appointment and it turned out nothing was wrong. There have been many other occurrences of this over the past few years, but these are the ones that happened this year. I also want to mention she does have a therapist but that doesn't really stop her. She has changed her therapist too after we moved. It's always been this way though.Anyways around 2 weeks ago, she said she felt like her legs are numb. She then laid in bed and would ask me and my siblings to get her food or get her a cup of water or even hand her something that would be right by her bed. But she would use the bathroom across the hallway no problem. My dad eventually got her to see a doctor who said she was fine.That didn't put a stop to it. Today, she told us she is probably paralysed and is dying soon. This scared my brother (12,M) and he couldn't focus on studying for his exam at all. My sister (10,M) also started crying. At this point I got really mad and I blew up at mom. I told her that I don't really believe her and that I'm sick of taking care of her when she's doing just fine and only being lazy. She started crying really bad so I just left and I locked myself in my room. Now I'm thinking about it and feeling really guilty because I still like my mom, I just don't like when she starts to pull this stuff and I feel like I could have dealt with it better. AITA? | AITA for blowing up at my mom? | NTA |
10y881f | So am like to start by saying that no I am not worried about her cheating on me and no I have not said anything other than “ok” whenever she has brought it up.My fiance's ex-boyfriend is going out of town for a couple of weeks on a business trip that is out of state and asked my fiance if she could watch his dogs while he's down there. My fiance jumped at the chance cause she has missed these dogs dearly and caring for them was one of the big highlights of their past relationship. She's very excited to see these dogs again because we don't have dogs (cat household) of our own due to my bad allergies and she's a big animal lover. Typically this would be fine but there are a few things that make me a little uncomfortable about the situation. For one, she's doing it completely free. He can afford to pay her for her time and he had offered to do so but she's volunteered to do it for free because she's so excited to see these dogs again. Two, she will be spending the night there. These dogs are special needs and need nightly medication and to be let out for bathroom breaks at least once a night. His apartment is about 45min away from ours so it's impractical for her to drive there and back in the middle of the night.I know they are not hooking up because he's a social media manager for a large brand and will be posting online regularly about the conference. All of this results in me feeling terrible because I wanna talk about this but I know I don't have a good reason to feel this way and I don't want her to think I don't trust her. Also, I'm nervous she'll resent me for making her miss out on visiting two animals that she truly viewed as her own pets for a significant portion of her life.So am I the asshole? | AITA for being weirded out that my fiance is dogsitting for her ex? | NTA |
10y87ur | OK so my friend messaged me today as we talk a lot and see each other quite a bit. She says that she wants to see me, talk, and eat. I agree because I enjoy her company and her as a person. We set a general time in, but nothing is set in stone because I would come over only after her gaming session with her friends, they could stop at any time 8 PM -11pm. So I asked her if I could bring my laptop to study for my new job so if we talk or eat I could study as well. She says no unless it is very urgent which is understandable and I agree to not bring it. she then tells me that she is very tired after not getting much sleep last night and after we talk going straight to bed. Me, her, our friends, and her boyfriend all hung out yesterday and went out. she drove him home and didn’t get home until early 1 AM because of traffic and just the distance. I find out today that said her boyfriend invited her out to a play the previous night which would be scheduled for tonight. She says she has to figure out what’s happening with her gaming group so she doesn’t give a straight answer. I was unaware of this interaction and only found out today AFTER she invited me over for food. The play starts at 8 PM and runs until 11 PM and by the time she would get home it would be midnight. Which she would then want to talk afterwards, but not for long after that. The gaming session with her friends generally starts around seven or eight and runs late, however if I am with her at the time she generally hops off earlier. She begins to tell me that if the gaming session with her friends doesn’t end up happening she’s going to make new plans with her boyfriend and go to the play. I am not annoyed that the two are hanging out I am very supportive of it, however I am annoyed that if the gaming session doesn’t happen the plans were changed and the entire timeline would be messed up because I would not only have to worry about time of transportation, but also sleep for me as I also have to get up early in the morning. I expressed this concern to her and she just invites me to come along with her and her bf, nice but the tickets are $150-$200. I try to expressed to her that I am annoyed that the level of tiredness or exhaustion gets dismissed if D&D gets canceled, and therefore our time together and invitation get very delayed, And will both affect our sleep schedule. She hasn’t answered yet and I’m afraid she’s mad now. AITA? | AITA for being mad that my friend would change our somewhat loose plans if a different plan doesn’t happen? | NTA |
10y8777 | Hi AITA fam, Long time lurker, first time poster. This AITA is not about one instance – more, does my approach make me an asshole. For some context, my partner (44M) and I (33F) have been together for 8.5 years, lived together for around 6), and are both recently diagnosed with ADHD, though our symptoms manifest in radically different ways, and we manage ourselves differently as a result.My partner provides extremely frequent unsolicited feedback on my way of doing simple or everyday tasks (ex: how I hand wash our dishes, how I drive, my posture when I sit at my desk, how I hold a knife when chopping veggies). He also provides frequent and unsolicited feedback on some of my ADHD related dopamine regulating/seeking behaviours (like fidgeting, nail picking, being on my phone while watching TV, needing to keep myself busy during my free time or using my devices in bed sometime). Its more frequent when he’s stressed. While I am 100% open to examining/modifying behaviours that have a direct negative impact on him or anyone else (ie. If being too loud or distracting) or which could be safety concerns, and frequently adjust what I am doing…. I’ve gotten frustrated with the sheer volume of repeated feedback I get and have started telling him thanks but no thanks (ex: “Thanks for pointing out my nail picking, but I don’t find this behavioural issue to be worth the time it would take to change and I don’t plan to address it.” “Thanks for letting me know you would like me change how I’m doing dishes, but they come out just as clean my way and I am fine with how I’m it – you’re welcome to take over if you prefer”).My partner thinks an adult, once presented with the right or better way to do something, should take it on board and put the effort in to adjusting the behaviour. He thinks its immature for an adult to just say, “I don’t wanna” and ignore "good" advice. I think an adult should be allowed to say no thanks to unsolicited advice on personal habits that dont harm orhers, and that I have a right to dictate how I do simple tasks, and prioritize what behaviours I want to put effort into modifying (if any).I’ve spent so much of my life trying to neurotypical (sit still, measure up….) as I was only diagnosed a year and a bit ago… now that I have the tools to understand why I do things my own way and why changing certain behaviours is so painstakingly hard for me (you have no idea how hard ive tried to quit nail picking over the years!), just want to be free to let my neurodivergent freak flag fly without feeling judged in my home. Am I the asshole for not wanting to change behaviours that don’t bother me and don’t negatively impact him, even if there could perhaps be a slightly more perfect way do things in some cases? | AITA for refusing to take potentially good advice? | NTA |
10y7yr9 | For context, this actually happened a year ago, but my best friend has brought this incident up on numerous occasions now, and I am wondering if I am to blame. So one night about a year ago, I was working on an essay for one of my classes, this essay was worth a decent chunk of my grade and was due at midnight. I remember it being around 10:30 pm, I had done a good amount of my essay and was on track to finish before the deadline. Now for a little context: about a week prior my best friend's girlfriend broke up with him, and he did not seem to be handling it too well. So I answered the phone, and he told me that he impulsively took a lot of mushrooms to "get his mind off of the breakup" but instantly regretted it as he was in no headspace for a drug trip like that. He told me he was becoming paranoid and anxious and did not know what to do. At first, I tried talking to him for a little bit to calm him down but then I realized that I still had to finish my essay for that night and could not just keep talking to my friend or I would possibly fail that class. I obviously wanted someone to come and check up on him to make sure he was doing okay because there's only so much I can do over the phone. So you might have guessed it by now, but I called his ex-girlfriend and got her to check up on him as she was the only one close by that I knew could make sure he was alright. Over the phone, I explained the situation, and she agreed to go check on him. I gave my friend a warning that I sent her to go look after him for a little, and when she arrived, we hung up the call so they could talk/she could watch him. I also let one of our mutual friends know what was happening and asked him to give my best friend a call after his ex-girlfriend left the place. He also agreed, I got back to my essay, and I thought that was that. Well after the situation my best friend's ex-girlfriend was pretty pissed at him for what he did. I think this got to his head a bit, and at the same time, it seemed like he was eyeing at me as the one to blame for this. I explained to him that I only sent her to his place for his own sake and safety, but I am still not quite sure he understands that. For example, we were hanging out the other day when he randomly says "hey do you remember the time when I was having that bad shroom trip and called you, but you had to finish your essay instead?" or something along those lines and it always goes that way. I usually respond with an awkward chuckle and try to explain to him my side of things, but I don't think he understands as he still keeps bringing it up from time to time. My belief is that my best friend thinks I put that paper over him/our friendship even though that would mean purposely failing it just to talk to him because of a problem he created for himself. So now I can't help but wonder if I am looking at the situation wrong and owe my friend an overdue apology. So reddit, am I the asshole? | AITA for not helping my best friend while he had a bad psychedelic trip? | NTA |
10y7ya5 | New account for obvious reasons. Let's call my friend Ashley (25F). So recently I (21M) tried to basically change my life for the better and not keep toxic people in my life and so on. It's been going great. Now, Ashley isn't toxic, but she's very meh friend. We've basically been friends for 2-3 years now? I met her through my other friend, Nicky (not her real name) and we immediately hit it off. We talked non stop for days then weeks then months and so on, but she always did this odd thing with me and Nicky( Btw Ashley only knew Nicky for 2 months before she met me) where she'd obviously prioritize her over me, now this isn't me being jealous, trust me I could care less, but like she'd make it so obvious and that's what weirded me out, she'd ignore me just to text her, they'd go out without me, but when Ashley asked me to go out with her Nicky was always there with us plus some other stuff I won't get into because I don't want to bore you. Now you might think that I was just jealous again or some sort and why was I forcing her to be friends with me when she obviously didn't want to and the thing is, I wasn't. SHE was. She'd ONLY talk to me about her problems because Nicky wouldn't understand them to the point that Nicky has this complete different imagd of Ashely in her head and Ashley herself asked me not to ruin it for her. Anyways, this past few months she stopped texting me herself, if I did we'd call and talk for hours but she'd never text me herself so I made a decision to basically not talk to her, I had many amazing friends who actually gave me attention themselves without me literally getting it from them. So that's how past 3 weeks passed. I did not text her.. she didn't either, and now she texts me at 3 am that her husband cheated on her and now wants a divorce.. Ashley doesn't work, she had a kid and her husband is the bread winner, it's tough.. she texted me that he talked to her that day normally and then came back home asking for a divorce. She said she needed to talk to someone and she couldn't with Nicky because she wouldn't understand. Idk what to do. I'm just sitting here thinking that I shouldn't text her because I'll basically let her step over me and my pride but at the same time, she's in a rough spot.. I'm concerned for her. I made my decision not to text her, but I want other opinions as well. WIBTA if I just ignored her even though I know that that's the last thing she needs? | WIBTA if I ignored my friend while she's going through a nasty divorce? | YWNBTA |
10y7o0g | We're selling everything to put our house on the market and move out of the country (me, 40f, housemate "Fred" 39m). The last rooms to be cleaned out are all his areas. Fred also has ADHD and there are executive function issues.I offered to list the big items that need to be moved out of the garage for sale online to start clearing out the space so we can do repairs. "Dave" wants an item that's listed at $1k; he has questions and wants to talk to someone on the phone. Fred refuses to speak on the phone with Dave. He says he will answer questions via email, and if Dave wants to come by and take a look he's welcome to, but that it's weird that the person wants to have a phone call when it can be an email.I sympathize with this up to a point. I understand the nuerodivergent avoidance of phone calls. I get that Fred struggles with this kind of stuff which is why I offered my executive functioning to assist in the first place. I am on board supporting with accommodations 100%---But I also pointed out that Dave might be elderly, have poor vision, or low computer literacy skills, and talking on the phone could be the accommodation HE needs. If I was going to drop a thousand bucks on something, I probably would have questions. We're at an impasse. I explained that I think everyone is just trying to do their best--Dave thinks his requests are reasonable, and Fred thinks his boundaries are valid. There's not much else for me to do except kiss this sale goodbye, but I do find it frustrating that there is a lot of unseen labor and mental load involved in answering all the emails and fielding questions as best I can, but at the end of the day these aren't my items and there is a certain amount of human interaction required to sell them that I don't have the background for or knowledge about. And frankly a phone call is worth $1k to me. I told Fred that I heard and understood his boundaries and that I would let Dave know no phone call would be forthcoming. I voted that we drop the subject, but it wasn't a tense conversation. We just had other stuff to get on with.But a few minutes later Fred texts me from his part of the house saying "Fine, I'll call him" which made me want to burst into tears because I'm not some nagging mom telling a child to clean their room. I'm also not advocating for Fred to just bend to my will and make the phone call--this is his stuff, and he can sell it however he wants. But I'm tempted to say I won't list any more items on his behalf, because it's logistically difficult and doesn't feel like we're cooperating as a team. If we don't get this stuff sold it will seriously set us back in our timeline of moving, meaning Fred will have more weeks of work at the stressful job that's depressing him; however, I can't hold Fred's hand the whole way.AITA for wanting more assistance with this? WIBTA if I backed out of helping my friend in this way?Edited to reduce character count. | AITA for wanting housemate's help to sell his stuff? | NTA |
10y7mhk | I got sick for the last day or so and so I was bed ridden for the entirety of it. Naturally I would play games and watch stuff just to let the time go by, but even then it was just painful to do that. Now this girl I’ve been interested in, we’ve been talking for months and we’re both very interested in each other and want to meet soon, but we’re across the world. So she was there as much as she could be for me, but obviously me being sick, I couldn’t even speak at the time so I couldn’t even talk with her. I was so out of energy that I could barely even watch anything let alone be with someone and interact with them. Now keep in mind, of course I want to be with her this whole time, but I was physically incapable of that. ffw and I’m feeling a little better the next day, and so my brother (who barely ever has time to play) asked me if I wanted to play a game that I’ve been playing a lot lately. So naturally I say yes and am super excited about it. I told her I was gonna be playing with him for a bit so I wouldn’t have time. And she says “That’s ok, I understand. Have a good time!” So I go and play with him. We play for maybe half an hour and he’s gotta go. So I text her to see if she wants to talk, because I haven’t been able to see her this whole time and I missed her. She says she’s busy and that she can’t and says that I should keep playing. So I play and wait for her to be done. Then she comes to me in the game I was playing and is mad at me for not giving her any time anymore, even though we talk every single day for hours, and that I’m too obsessed with the game, even though I barely have time to play anything these days since I’m busy with work and I always gave up my free time for her. She even claimed that the only way for her to get to me was from the game, but she never even texted or called me to see. The worst of it was that no matter what I said, she just said I was a liar and that I didn’t want to see her anymore (which is the furthest thing from the truth).I’m not sure what to think about it. What do you think fellas? | AITA for playing games while I was sick? | NTA |
10y7icf | Burner, but I think this story is so specific she'll see it and know it's me anyway.I (31 M) was preparing dinner when my partner (30 F) came down. While I was finishing up plating everything she mentioned she had been watching celebrity makeup videos and beauty routines. After she told me a bit about them I asked how she feels about most of these videos being paid partnerships / product placement and not really their daily routine. She asked if I was questioning if she understood advertising and I said no, I was just curious if it impacted how she thought of the product or celebrity. After some back and forth about why I would ask that she said that I was insulting her intelligence, ruining these videos for her and just poking holes in the things she enjoys. I tried to make one more analogy - if you listen to a song and it means one thing to you when you hear it, but then the writer/band talks about what the song means to them you see it from a different perspective. That did not go over well either. I said I was sorry if she felt that I was being dismissive or tearing down something she enjoys, but I was curious if that impacted how she engaged with the videos. I mentioned that sometimes I'll watch those reels on youtube where people interview "strangers" and they are v. obviously staged but I still find them funny... AITA? Should I not ask questions like these? | AITA for ruining celebrity make up videos for my GF | YTA |
10y7e60 | I will be using fake names for this post.My friend (Shelly) and I are very good friends that attend the same university. Her boyfriend (Josh) also attends the same university. About roughly a week ago, Shelly got together with Josh. I have not actually spoken to Josh before. Today, I saw Shelly kiss Josh goodbye. She then left the campus. I was waiting around for a friend and happened to notice that around a few minutes later, after she had left, Josh approached another girl (Lizzy) and they were really close together. They were pushing up against each other and making quite a lot of physical contact. Then, Josh gave the girl his drink. After she accepted, I also overheard him say that he'll buy her one tomorrow, too. I understand that this situation is nothing explicit like cheating or anything, but it felt as though they were quite close to one another. I also understand that Josh and Lizzy may just have a really strong friendship. Shelly currently seems very happy, and I do not want to create any problems for her or her relationship.WIBTA if I mentioned this event to her? I really do not want to upset her. I just want the best for her. Would it be better to keep it to myself? | WIBTA for asking my friend about some actions made by her boyfriend that I was a little worried about? | NTA |
10y6q9t | Last night, I went to the gas station down the road and as I approached the door to walk out, a lady was about to open it to come in. The doorway had two doors so I headed for the other one. The lady got to the doorway before I did and as I was approaching, I noticed she hesitated before opening it. She pulled the door open to walk in right as I got to the pair of doors, but I remembered the second door was always locked, so I moved to the locked door side because the other side had a drink machine in the way, plus, I would’ve had to walk in front of her to cross over. I waited for her come in first and politely said “excuse me.” She told me “you got no fucking manners and a man is supposed to open and hold the door for a woman.” I was so confused and explained that I would’ve had to push her out the way to open it and hold it because there was a drink machine in the way and I even let her come in first. She just shook her head and told me to learn some manners. What should I have done?Edit: I think the only reason that I could be the asshole is not going out of my way to open a door Im not using for someone…which is ridiculous. | AITA for not going out of my way to hold the door for a stranger? | NTA |
10y60vs | I'm in [Sixth Form](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixth_form) [(Year 12)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_12).\~2 weeks ago, I (Black 17F, I promise race/ethnicity is fairly important for this explanation) made a joke towards a girl who I'll call Xavia (White Traveller 16(?) F) who was sitting on the table with me and 3 other friends while we played a card game. The girl called me a bitch, not bc of the joke as it was not offensive in any way, shape or form, but she said I gave her a ‘proper dirty look’ while telling it. I told her that I was sorry that she saw it that way bc I genuinely didn’t mean to give her a dirty look. I was really uncomfortable for the rest of the round and after the round I told the friend I was closest to (friendship-wise) on the table, who I'll call Emilia (Black 16F), I was going to a different room.I later found out from Emilia that while I was gone, X said that I was rude and potentially said smth about me being racist to white people\*???\*Sorry to circle round back to the past in this story, but for context for this statement, in my English Lit class, Xavia mentioned a girl who went to my school a few years back, who I'll call Orange (16/17???, White Traveller) who was basically recorded saying some abhorrent full-on racist tirade while in a Snapchat group chat, saying things like black people should go back to their countries, saying the n-word and [Pakistan without the stan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paki_(slur)) etc.I asked how Xavia knew Orange and said she was one of her or her best friends (don't remember what exactly was said). I kind of did a double take bc of what I knew about her and asked why she was friends w/ someone who said all those things. X said it was in response to one of the people in the group chat as she was called a '[p\*\*ey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pikey)' by one of them, and she said it was tit for tat. I said although I wasn't condoning the racist comment Orange had received, she still wasn't justified in saying all of those things, but I left it at that and just got on with my work.The day after the card game thing, I ended up attempting to talk to Xavia which she refused to do and told me to go fuck myself. I told her 'fuck you' in response and gave her the finger. She's been doing weird passive-aggressive shit ever since and I fucking hate it. She's in my best friend's tutor and my best friend told me she heard her talking about the situation to others and one of her friends (who is also in my English Lit class) said she thought I was being too sensitive, and laughed at me with Xavia, and deliberately gave me her phone number even tho I've made it abundantly clear I don't want to speak to Xavia because last time I tried to she told me to go fuck myself in front of a multitude of people. Am I being too sensitive, Reddit? | AITA for holding a grudge against/disliking this girl? | NTA |
10y5nge | Me and my partner own 2 cars. We have one very cheap car which I use for work and one more expensive family car which she uses for work and driving around our 9mo old son. We go halves on both car expenses to avoid one of us bearing the costs of the family car. We both earn similar amounts of money.Recently the family car has broken down with a serious engine problem and will be too expensive to fix (insurance will not pay out as it is mechanical damage). We have decided to cut our losses and sell the broken family car and buy another car. In my head, we have just unexpectedly lost a lot of money on this car and should be tightening our budget. As such I suggested we look for another modestly priced car if not a slightly cheaper one. Partner thinks we need something more reliable which has less chance of breaking and wants to get a newer family car on finance. To me this logic is completely backwards as we have unexpectedly lost money on a car, so let’s use our savings to spend more money than required to get back on the road, for what? Status? To look better in pictures? Regardless of whether a new car has less chance of breaking down, in the long run it will be certainly more expensive, especially on finance. As such I have refused to split the cost if we finance a newer car and will only be willing to look for a modestly priced used car that we can afford to buy outright and will not drain our savings. Is this unreasonable ? | AITA for refusing to finance a car with partner? | NAH |
10y3yz2 | I (21M) live with my parents who are realtors and work very hard, so they have the opportunity to afford a gorgeous beachside house. I do not have the wealth my parents do. I’m working on moving out, but as of right now I live there. My girlfriend (19F) came over to the house for the first time and was amazed by how beautiful the house was and making jokes about how rich my parents are. She was really hamming it up for humour purposes. I started doing the same and jokingly showing off all the things in the house that average houses wouldn’t typically have. I was washing my dishes in the sink even though we have a dishwasher, and my girlfriend asked me why I was using the sink when we have a dishwasher. And to play along with the jokes we were making, I said “to keep in touch with my poor side” and she laughed. Thinking this was funny, I told my best friend (20M) about this joke, but he got really upset and said it was disgusting and incredibly classist. I just don’t understand what was so wrong. I think it’s a harmless joke. Am I the asshole?Edit:When I told him it was just a joke, he responded by saying that I wouldn’t be saying that if it was a sexist joke. In his words: “Well what if I said ‘I got a new dishwasher’ and was talking about a new girlfriend of mine? You wouldn’t like that” and I said that was different because he hasn’t lived as a woman, where I have lived without a dishwasher and without a lot of money. It’s different because Im making the joke about myself, not about someone else. He said it’s the same thing. I really don’t think it is. Also, I was out of the house for a bit doing school for my engineering degree, which I got. I’m back in the house right now because I haven’t been able to find somewhere else to live. | AITA for saying that I wash my dishes by hand to keep in touch with my poor side? | NTA |
10y3s6u | A good friend of mine (call her Katie) that lives all the way across the country but is from Philly messaged me a couple weeks ago wanting to visitIt's not a good time for her to visit. I have a huge exam a few weeks from now. So I told her no. It's last minute. I am overwhelmed by my job. Passing this exam is very important for my ability to keep my job. She pulls at my heartstrings in a few texts.I do feel bad, but also I know this friend is difficult to set boundaries with. Not in the sense that it ends up in an argument but she tends to do this heart pulling string thing a lot to get her way. Not always an issue cuz she literally just wants to hang out with me - how can I get super angry about that?I tell her: hey I wasn't going to do anything but let me see if other friend (call her mary) has plans. Both of these friends are HUGE philly sports fans. I don't have time for either of them this week, but they'll get along and it'll be a good time. I text Mary she is down for it. I tell them both I can't make the time commitment to watch a game for 6 hours, but I'll show up for a few. Mary even suggests that her and Katie go to the BBall game Monday. I give them each other's numbers so they can coordinate the BBall game. Both seem hype for it.Kate tells me she needs a place to crash Sun. I tell her: "I don't have the capacity to host but I can recommend an AirBnb (sends airbnb not far from where I live)" Katie doesn't respond for a day. I text her again: "Hey did you book an airbnb? I can't host you and it looks like that BBall game is later in the day too. You may want to book a airbnb for 2 nights. I can't host you for 2 days"Kadie says: "HELL NO to Airbnb I've had a terrible experience" "I just need to crash Sunday night"Me: "Okay...trying to help you out. I can't host you though. Can you book a hotel"10 min later: "Mary says I could crash at her place"I text Mary: "hey thanks for letting my friend stay with you Sunday night you didn't have to do that. and thanks for suggesting you go to a BBall game together - she will love that. Sorry for the short notice. I suggested she get a hotel. I didn't suggest she crash at your place. I didn't want to impose on you"Mary: "If she needs a place to stay than she's more than welcome to crash here" "it would have been nice to get a heads up. My issue is the difficulty that you have with boundary setting (or any difficulties that come up in your friendship with Katie. That should not fall on me without any consideration for what's currently on my plate as well" "I know you have a lot going on and sounds like Katie does too but things have not been easy for me this week either." \*tells me about 2 unfortunate things going on this week for her\* "I'm usually down and readily available for anything but I could have used some additional consideration this week"I apologize. She tells me I'm not getting it. I call Katie, give in, and tell her she can crash with me. | AITA for not hosing my friend? | NTA |
10y3mkl | I (17f) stormed out of the dining hall from my friends after talking about how we didn't like when another girl (B) does the same.Context: (B) hates (A), (B) is best friends with (E), (E) and (A) are dating B has hated A for about a year and a half now, A and E have dates for about ¾ of that year. You would think that B has gotten used to seeing the two together, but her reaction has only gotten worse. Everyday until today, every time A comes to greet E at the table we sit at, B dramatically stands up and leaves the room. This has been making me and the rest of our friend group very uncomfortable as we are friends with all stated above and there is a lot of tension whenever we are around B.This week, B has been off sick and I was able to spend time with A without feeling on edge that B was watching and judging me. Today I was sitting with B alone on the table and saw A on another, I got up to sit with them and talk about a trip we had planned. (B is already on another trip at the same time so we didn't leave her out on purpose) Prior to this, B seemed upset and asked me "Are you serious?" When I got up to sit with A and she didn't speak to me till later that day.At lunch, as we were sitting down at a table, I see my friend who was sitting at a table with A and talked to her for a second before going to sit with my usual friend group which contains E and B and before I sat down, B turns to me and says in a snarky tone: "Why don't you sit with A instead?" I asked: "Are you being serious right now?" And she responds in a bratty way: "Yah." That filled me with rage and prompted me to leave the hall right then and there. I felt I had the right to be upset about the way she had spoken to me when considering how she had already made me and our friend group uncomfortable waiting for her to 'explode' with all the tension built up from when E began dating A. I've already decided I'm leaving the friend group because of the way she was acting (leaving dramatically everytime she sees E and A) and although I had a problem with her doing that, I did the same thing and left when she rudely spoke to me. So AITA for being dramatic and storming out the hall when B spoke to me that way even though I condemned her for doing the same?(Feel free to ask questions about bits which don't make sense)Edit: formatting | AITA storming off from the table in front of my friends | NTA |
10y39ju | I (22nb) am disabled and don’t work due to my disability. My new flatmate has lived here for a few months now, we get along pretty well and there hasn’t been any arguments before. I recently rescued a cat as an emotional support animal, she’s very timid due to her trauma, but we’re working on it together. Before I rescued her I made sure with my new flatmate that he was ok with this, he said he was fine with it so I went ahead with the adoption. Right now she’s confined to my room while she gets used to her new surroundings, we have let her out to explore the rest of the flat at her own pace but this is where the issue with my flatmate came up. I have another flatmate (P,23nb).The new flatmate has told P that he never wants to see the cat, he doesn’t want to acknowledge or see her existence at all, his words. The new flatmate has purposely told this stuff to P but not to me. The new flatmate has utterly zero responsibilities with the cat, and I assured him beforehand that he would have none, and I have no intention of making him take some up. The new flatmate also brought up the fact that we’re not doing any of the washing up, but we are, admittedly not as much as he does, although his ‘washing up’ consists simply of rinsing it under water, it always needs to be redone and it isn’t sanitary. He claimed that he does everything but this simply isn’t true. He also scrapes food waste into the sink - we do not have a trash disposal, and it continues to clog the sink and rot, which we have to deal with because he doesn’t see it as a problem. Furthermore, he consistently pisses on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it up, despite us asking him to clean it up multiple times, and one time P trod in some substance that seemed to be semen on the bathroom floor. I myself struggle with household stuff because of my disabilities, some days I simply cannot stand upright, and he knows this. When he told P the stuff about the cat as well as the washing up, P text me what he said. I was obviously really upset as I felt really bad, because now we have a cat in a place that she is not welcome in. I don’t believe anything he says any more, as he admitted that he lied about being okay with a cat - he claimed that he said he was only okay with it because he thought we would get her regardless, which is simply is not the case. When I received this message I got up and started the washing up, even though it was painful. When he got back I confronted him about the cat situation, saying that if he didn’t want us to get a cat, he should have said that. I also yelled that he has no right to be upset with our tidiness when he can’t even clean dishes properly, and I showed him one of the pans he had ‘washed up’, which was still utterly caked in food. Most of this I yelled at him, which I know was wrong and I have since apologised to him for exclusively that, but I stand by what I said. | AITA for having a cat, and subsequently yelling at my flatmate? | NTA |
10y99xi | [AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? : AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10w8kxl/aita_for_leaving_a_vacation_i_planned_for_my_gf/) From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who sent me kind words and encouraging private messages.I decided that I wanted to end this entire relationship. I packed my important belongings (Ex. Passport, clothes) and arranged with my best friend to crash at his apartment until I can find my own. Usually when small issues happen in a relationship, it ties into a bigger issue of that relationship. The main reason why I decided to break up is because I realized that her friends will always be closer to her than me. Sarah has favored her friends over me and blown off some of our plans for her friends more than once. I was lying to myself for years because I didn’t want to face reality yet. I had hoped she would change, but this trip really opened my eyes that I will always be in 3rd place to her.I expressed my feelings multiple times, and Sarah promised she would change, and she didn’t.Sarah came home late yesterday. I said I have a lot to get off my chest and I want to get through my notes before she talks or tries to interrupt me. The first question I asked Sarah was “How she thought the trip went”. She said we all had fun and it was memorable. I shouldn’t have to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship, especially on a trip that I planned.My next question was “Why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for US”. She talked about the trip with her friends since the beginning, and they never been to CO. She thought it would be a good idea to allow them to come just so they can have fun in CO with us. I followed up with my lack of knowledge of her friends coming along until days before. It’s one thing if they came and did their OWN activities. But it’s another thing that every activity became a group activity. I signed up for a monogamous, not poly relationship.My last question was “Did you know that I was going to propose to you?”. Sarah said she didn’t know at all. The thought never occurred to Sarah that I was going to ask. She claimed that she wouldn’t have invited her friends to come along if she knew, but I responded that “it would ruin the surprise if I told you”.Sarah begged me to stay with her and believes we can work everything out. She didn’t want me to throw 5 years away after this one bad trip. I listened to her promises to change for years regarding her friends, but nothing happened. I ultimately left Sarah with this: it’s clear that there isn’t enough room in your heart for your BF and your friends. As much as I love Sarah, I can’t stay in a relationship where I’m not respected enough. I left Sarah in the house by herself and I drove off to my friend’s place.I’ll figure out how to get my name off the lease and I’ll plan to get the rest of my belongings. As for the ring, I will return it this weekend. | UPDATE: AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? | NTA |
10yc8sr | I was lucky enough to get a great job after I graduated. I make pretty good money and my job is challenging but fun. Some of my friends didn't bother with college and some who did go chose less lucrative fields. I'm not rich or anything. I'm not buying a Porsche any time soon. I just have a good salary and very few bills since I still live at home. I got a very nice hiring bonus when I was recruited and I took my friends out for, what I made clear, was a one time celebration. Every once in a while I get together with my friends and go to a restaurant. We usually end up splitting the bill. I don't drink a lot so I might have a beer with my meal but that's it. I know they don't al have disposable income like I do so I usually also cover the tip. They tend to go overboard. Like one girl orders five or six drinks over the course of the meal. And she will order appetizers "for the table". I never eat the appetizers because they are almost always deep fried and I tend to avoid that stuff. It is also common for one of us to leave and just cash app or leave money for the bill. Last Saturday we went out to a nice Mexican place. The food was excellent and my margarita was delicious. That girl brought her girlfriend and a couple of the guys brought their girlfriends. I mentioned that I had to have an early night. After we finished eating I hung around until everyone started ordering more drinks and desserts and stuff. And I'm not joking here one girl ordered a to go meal for her roommate. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Afterwards I paid my bill at the front of the house and bailed. I started getting texts about 45 minutes later. The bill came and they wanted to split it. I told them I already paid and had to leave. My bill was $55 including tip. The three guys and the girl were going to be splitting the remaining $640. They wanted to split their guests bill as well. The other guy who didn't invite someone was saying it wasn't fair for him to split the bill when I didn't. I said that I had paid my food bill and I wasn't going to give more. They ended up each paying their own bill and one guy ended up paying for his, his date's, and her roommate's food. He is especially salty about the situation. The other single guy also ended up just paying for his own stuff and he is also in their bad books. I feel bad for leaving without saying goodbye but if I had stuck around I would be subsidizing food for strangers.EditI'm sorry if I offended anyone with the term Irish exit. I didn't know it was an insult. | AITA for doing an Irish exit at a restaurant so I wasn't stuck with the bill? | NTA |
10y95kx | My (15F) family likes to have a movie night, we basically do that on Fridays when my parents don't have work and my sister (19,F) doesn't have too much work for college. It usually happens like once a month. Mom insists on doing it or just having us all play a game so we can bond and have a good time and it is really fun so no one complains about it.Anyways, I recently noticed that my sister (19,F) starts crying everytime we watch a movie. Like not the sad movies or anything like that, any movie that's for younger kids that we usually put on for my other sister (10, F) just has her face tearful. It's usually random movies about friendship or simple ideas like that or just Disney movies or Studio Ghibli ones. She doesn't cry at all at anything else. I have no idea why. It's also during random parts of the movie that it makes no sense to cry about (like someone flying, or someone hugging someone, or someone sitting in a garden or something).No one else really notices because it's usually dark and we don't really talk during movies. Plus my sister is very unemotional usually and this is so unexpected that even if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me till they saw it (she also makes no sound anyways). It also only happens that my sister is seated next to me during the movies and my parents and other sister are further away so they wouldn't notice at all. I notice because I usually have to check my phone so her face is a bit clearer for me. This week my mom suggested another movie like that for us to watch next week. And since this time she agreed we'd be doing it with my friend coming over I thought it would ruin the mood for the night if she saw my sister like that and it was just not something I want to deal with. My friend is also nosy and knows my sister very well and I kind of just want us to have fun without my sister in the picture.So here is where I may be TA, I told my mom I'm okay doing it as long as my sister is not there. And if she is there then she has to stop crying over nothing and control her emotions for the night. My mom didn't see where I was coming from and told me if that's the case then they will do it without me. I don't really want that so I told her that my sister is too old for this anyways and we could just not invite her from now on. She looked really upset and told me to go to my room. AITA? | AITA for wanting to exclude my sister? | YTA |
10y8sds | Throwaway AccountI (30f) have a "Mike" (4m) who was fathered by my old college boyfriend "Jason" (31m) who ghosted me before I was able to tell him that I was pregnant. When I first found out that I was pregnant it was around finals, Jason and I were in grad school, and Jason was so stressed out his exams, work, and family issues that I decided to tell him after his last exam. Also, because I had a bad habit of procrastinating when I get anxious and a part of me was in denial about being pregnant.I admit that during this time I was acting out of the ordinary and being a little secretive. Unfortunately Jason got the wrong idea and (insert a series of curse words) friend "Amanda" (30f) convinced him I was cheating so when I came back to our apartment he was gone. He posted an awful message about me on social media and then blocked me, so did most of our mutual friends along with all of his family members. I was devastated and desperate, so desperate that I even swallowed my pride and reached out to Amanda to beg him to talk to me.She then proceeded to taunt me and then sent me a screenshot of Jason's text calling me a liar and pathetic for trying to pass off another man's baby as his. I tried reaching out to Jason once during the later half of my pregnancy and another time after Mike was born before giving up. I tried to go the court's way but Jason got a job overseas so it was what it was.Later I met "Dan" (36m) he was great, we fell in love, got married and was willing to adopt Mike. Shortly after I had my second child Jason reached out to me. The very first thing he did was offer a sincere and meaningful apology to me said that he now realized that Amanda lied to him and that the evidence she had against me was false. Jason also said that Amanda was the one who interceded my attempts to reach out to him and knew that I had had his son.I did not hold back my anger and he took it. He gave me a few days to cool down before reaching out to me and asking to meet Mike. After discussing it with Dan, we agreed and Jason was introduced to Mike as "mommy's friend from college" since then he's met Mike in person about four times, I've sent him a few pictures, and even let him video chat a few times. Recently Jason reached out to me about wanting to know when we'd tell Mike that he was his "real" father and I countered back that Dan was his real dad as he was the one who was helping me raise him, and that he could either be "Uncle Jason" or nothing at all.Jason got upset and pointed out how it wasn't his fault that he wasn't apart of Mike's life, that he's trying now, and how his family wants to meet him. I countered that if he hadn't of ghosted me he wouldn't be in this situation right now and in the eyes of the law he doesn't get say. Dan agrees that Mike may be too young right now but feels it's wrong to keep Jason out all together, so AITA?Edit: Because someone asked just to be clear Dan is now the legal father of Mike.I'm not sure about all the legal terms but basically when Dan and I started the adoption process we had our lawyers send out a notice to Jason's last known legal address (which Amanda intercepted) and then after no response we petitioned the court and cited abandonment so that Jason's rights would be terminated since Dan was present and willing to take Mike on.Edit 2: I don't know why people are thinking this but just to be clear Dan and I would never NOT tell Mike about biological parentage I'm just not willing to do it now. I don't want to risk my son becoming emotionally attached to a man with a history of ghosting. Dan has proven to be reliable, Jason has not. I'm planning on telling Mike somewhere between 13-18. Edit 3: Since someone DM me, while Jason's story of Amanda tricking him is plausible with the details he gave me, I honestly don't believe him since it's too convenient of an excuse and he hasn't shown me any indisputable proof. | AITA For Not Wanting The Biological Father Of My Child To Say Who He Really Is? | NTA |
10yaz05 | I \[20F\] am a college student living with four roommates in a shared off campus house. One of my four roommates is not actually a roommate on our lease, but one of my other roommate's boyfriends. I am not happy about this, but it is what it is. We'll call the boyfriend/roommate Kevin \[21M\].I had a paper due at 11:59 one night last week that I was really late on getting started on so to say I was on a time crunch would be an understatement. Around a little after 7, Kevin comes into my room and asks me if I could drive him to his work that is about 20-25 minutes away because he left his laptop there and he had a quiz that he needed to take that was due that night. I apologized and told him that I couldn't do it because I had a deadline. He proceeded to ask me if he could just use my car and I said no. When he asked why, I told him because the car belongs to my parents and they don't want anyone else driving it but me. Kevin got very angry and told me that I was being unreasonable because it would only take about 45 minutes and we'd be back home before 8 and that if he took my car, he was just going to go straight there and back. I said that I was sorry, but I couldn't help him and he sulks out of my room and slammed the door. I actually started to feel really bad and was going to offer to take a break after I got to a good point in my paper to take him, but then I heard him in the next room complaining to his girlfriend on the phone about me and calling me all kinds of nasty names so I just put my headphones in and concentrated on my paper.About an hour passed by and he comes back into my room and asked me if I could send him money for an Uber to go pick up his laptop. I said "No, why would you take money from a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?" and basically repeated all the names he called me. He then tried to apologize and say that he was just stressed out and he didn't mean it. I said no again and he lost it. I packed up my laptop and some clothes and went to my boyfriend's house to stay the night and finish my paper which I finally managed to submit at like 11:45 thankfully.When I came back the next day, my roommate who is Kevin's girlfriend yelled at me for making Kevin miss an assignment when he gave me three options to help him. We ended up fighting and things have been tense in the house ever since. One of our other roommates thinks that I didn't do anything wrong, but the other roommate things I should have just helped Kevin to keep the peace in the house.I kind of feel like a AH for making things in the house tense and making Kevin's grade in that class lower. It would have been less effort to take him than it is to deal with all the fighting and awkwardness. | AITA for making my roommate miss an assignment deadline | NTA |
10ybn98 | My fiancé (28M) and I (27F) are currently wedding planning. We have always said we wanted a wedding in October because we are both wh*res for fall. We found a venue and were looking at potential dates (basically choosing which Saturday), they only had openings 3 out of the 4 Saturdays in October. We were between the 2nd and 3rd week, so we asked the venue coordinator what he recommended. He said the “peak” weekend for the flowers (the venue is a garden) would be the 3rd weekend of October, so that’s the one we went with. We let my family know via group chat that we had a date, and we put a payment down that day. My sister in law (44F) says “hey, that’s on my birthday!” And I thought, “oh, that’s funny!” And that was it, or so I thought.The next day, my mom (64F) says she got a call from my brother (43M) that my SIL was upset that we were moving forward with our wedding on her birthday. She said she was most upset that my fiancé and I would share our anniversary with her birthday in the following years, rather than upset she’d have to spend a birthday at our wedding. She said, “in our family, birthdays are a big deal.”What really pissed me off was that she said “you’re choosing between a human and some leaves” (she’s had 3 weddings - she knows how much of a headache finding a venue is)At this point she is expecting us to change the date to the other available weekend. Typically, I would. However, my SIL has made a pattern out of this. Anytime someone celebrates something, she conveniently becomes ill or something happens where the attention becomes all about her. When I got pregnant, she stopped talking to me for a year because she was struggling with infertility. And I had to be the one to “mend the bridge” (to a fight I never started!). I don’t want to enable this behavior by accommodating what I would say is unreasonable expectations. I don’t want my entire wedding to become accommodating her. And before you ask about my brother, he has codependency issues and will never push back against her, so she essentially runs the relationship and my brother follows. TLDR; will I be the ahole if I don’t change my wedding date from my SIL’s birthday to the week before, even if I was able to?INFO: I did not realize the date we chose was her birthday until when she told us afterwards. It was not intentional to double book. | WIBTA if I don’t change my wedding date after my sister in law asked me to? | NTA |
10ychov | My wife and I went to couple's counseling. When we called to book there was one counselor that had a last minute opening and the rest had long waits. There was a reason for this. If you ever need to book a therapist, don't book the one with immediate availability. Anyway, so we went this morning.First and foremost, the therapist would not listen to us as we tried to explain why we were there. So much time was wasted because she kept insisting on talking about and asking about topics that weren't what we needed to talk about. My wife and I both repeatedly tried to explain the issue, and the therapist kept saying "the surface issue is rarely the problem; it's the issue underneath that." It took half an hour for us to get her to actually address what occurred.When she finally listened to us explain what happened she said flat out that I was wrong, my wife was right, I need to apologize for what I said and accept that her dad would always be important to her and had a right to be in his grandchild's life. I'm pretty sure therapists are supposed to be a bit more neutral. Anyway, she could tell I was irritated and asked what I was feeling. I said I felt deceived. I felt like my wife pretended to be someone and now I'm meeting the real her.My wife started to cry and the therapist said my answer was unproductive. I asked my wife "what about you? How do you feel?" She said she felt lost. She said she's lost her family one by one because they did things she couldn't accept. Realizing the child she was carrying would never know her biological family upset her, and it made her wonder if her standards are too high.The therapist jumped in and said it's important to meet people where they are out and cutting people out isn't the answer. The therapist ended things saying we had a lot of work to do but could fix things. When we left my wife said "she was very opinionated for a therapist." I agreed. She asked if we could go get brunch and just talk, and I agreed to that to.We talked. I apologized for the way I spoke to her. She apologized for keeping secrets from me. I told her I would never be okay with her dad being part of our kids lives. She said she understood. I also said I thought it was a bad idea to go back to the old company, but ultimately that's her choice. She said she was going to tell her dad that meeting the baby isn't on the table and then see his reaction and go from there. I thanked her for telling me.She asked me if I was thinking about leaving her. I was honest and said I had thought about it but that wasn't what I wanted. We both got very emotional. She asked if I loved her and I said yes. I asked if she loved my son, and she said yes. I asked if she thinks she'll love the baby more, and she said no. She hesitated, but I'm trying not to read into that.I feel we made some progress and we will continue to work on our relationship (without the terrible therapist) and try to be our best for each other and the children. | Update: Couple's counseling didn't help; an honest discussion did. | NAH |
10yf54k | I am not a chef. I am a pretty good amateur cook though. I own my own restaurant and have been on a couple of TV shows as a guest or contestant. My father in law is a welder and he has bugged me a few times about doing women's work. I just laugh it off but it does bug me. I have told my wife but she tells me that he is just old school and not to be confrontational about it. My wife's family had a big reunion last summer and I brought bratwursts and onions. Good cheap food for lots of people. This last weekend my parents came to visit and we invited the in laws since it has been a while since we all got together. I made Beef Wellinton, bacon roasted Brussel sprouts, roasted root vegetable medley, mushroom risotto, potatoes us gratin, and asparagus. My FIL started asking why I never cooked like this when they came by to see us. I always ordered in food or my wife made good hearty home cooked meals.I said that I did not want to appear feminine in front of him since he thought it was women's work. He said that isn't what he meant and that if I knew how to cook like this I was belittling him by only cooking like this for my family.After they left my wife said that I should either have cooked a less fancy meal or ordered out instead of making her dad feel like he wasn't worth my effort. ​AITA? | AITA for not making "good food" for my in-laws since my father in law thinks it is women's work. | NTA |
10yh4bp | So my friend of about 20 years is mad at me calling me cruel and an asshole. She got upset after I fake kidnapped her 2 young kids. Now I know it sounds harsh so far but the reason I did it was to finally get though her head the dangers of leaving her kids home alone when she goes out. On top of the dangers she just recently split up with her husband and they are currently going through a custody battle. The kids live with her but the dad is fighting to get them to live with him a city over. She knows any ammunition this man can get will be used against her in court and I have told her a million times that if he finds out she leaves the kids at home to run 5-10 minute errands she absolutely will loose come court time. The kids are 5 and 8 years old. Sure they are quite capable for 10 minutes but I told her that is not the point. Countless times I would come over, the door was unlocked so I walk right in and her kids are home alone. She shows up 5 minutes later stating it was easier to run for milk without the kids or whatever she is doing at the time. I tell her for gods sake at least lock the door so a stranger can’t walk in and I honestly worry what would happen if a fire started. This leads to today. I was on my way over and I see her drive past me. She didn’t see me or know I was on the way so I get this great idea to teach her a lesson. I go to her house and tell the kids to get into my car we are going to go for a little drive (they drive with me often so going for a drive is nothing new). We get into the car and go park just down the street where I could see her get back. Sure enough 5 minutes later she is back at the house and sees the door is open. I wait a minute and see her run outside then head towards the back yard then run back inside again clearly in a panic. So I drive back up to the house and run inside to find her crying uncontrollably and shaking in a panic. I was kind of smiling like hey it’s okay your kids are with me but she could not stop crying. Finally after about half hour she calms down enough to question why I did this and after explaining asks me to leave so I did. She texted me after saying how cruel that was and that I was an asshole and now isn’t replying to texts. So reddit am I an asshole? | AITA for Fake kidnapping my friends kids? | YTA |
10y8uek | Obligatory: throwaway account,So, I'm 22 now. 8 years ago, I came out to my parents as Bi. Should be no big deal right? Wrong. My deeply religious parents sent me to a Christian wilderness camp, where they said I would stay for 6 months. I ended up staying for a year and a half. I was understandably mad when they took me home, but still refused to recant my coming out.I left the moment I turned 18, but made an effort to reach out to them and invite them to my wedding to my beautiful wife 2 years ago. My mother pretty much spit in my face and told me that I was a disgrace and that she would never see me as her daughter again, that I shouldn't ever talk to her again. I took the hint, and got on with my life. We foster now, and are currently fostering 3 teenagers that we think are just the best.2 weeks ago, my mother messaged me on Instagram. I was surprised since I have her main account blocked, but she proceeded to tell me that she needs 4,000$ and a kidney. Not even a hello. I told her that "I was no longer her daughter" and that I wouldn't do it, and blocked her.Not even a day later I received a message from my 20yo sister (Faith), she told me that I should reconsider helping our mother, and I turned it down again, asking why she didn't help mom instead. Apparently, Faith wasn't a match, and they didn't have the 4000$ after starting a church with her husband. I just continued to turn it down. She put me through a year and a half of Hell in a program, and then proceeded to cut me off. Now that she needs money and a kidney I'm supposed to put that all behind me and help her?Both my dad, Faith, and Faiths husband have told me that I'm a terrible human being for not helping her out, and that I should be ashamed of myself. AITA? | AITA for not helping my mother | NTA |
10yexyx | My daughter "Tina" (13F) has dealt with this same bully "Megan" for 2 years. The school has done what they can to help. They're no longer in any of the same classes, their lockers aren't near each other. Megan was suspended last year for a particularly harsh incident and that's what finally got the school to take her seriously. Unfortunately, this is the only junior high in the area and homeschooling isn't an option. Thankfully, the girls are going to different high schools. The bullying has also decreased immensely since the school started taking measures to keep them apart. Megan has always made fun of Tina's weight. Tina isn't overweight by any means, but she is curvier. She is quite happy with her body, until Megan or one of Megan's friends make comments about it. Again, this has decreased over the past year. However, on Monday, the girls were waiting outside for the bus at the same time. Megan made some nasty comments about Tina's body. Tina came home very upset. One thing that I have always said to my husband is that Megan likely makes fun of Tina because she is insecure about herself. While Megan is thin, she is not conventionally pretty. I'm not saying she's ugly, we all have things about ourselves that we may not like or are insecure about. I also would never say this to Megan, as obviously that's mean and it'd be stooping to her level.However, seeing Tina so upset, I told her that. It did seem to help her feel better. I thought it was fine. However, my older daughter "Alexa" (20F) overheard. She told me I was being just as nasty as Megan and I shouldn't put stuff like that in Tina's head. I pointed out that Tina would never say that to someone, but Alexa said I had no way of knowing that. AITA? | AITA for saying my child's bully didn't have any right making fun of someone's looks? | NTA |
10yd2s5 | Hi everybody! Throwaway account!I (49M) have a son, Chris, who is eleven, and refuses to grow up it seems. He's entering middle school next year and it's starting to worry me that he has not figured out that Santa, the Easter bunny, elf on the shelf, etc. aren't real. My wife, Jenna 47F, assures me that it's not a big deal, since his sister Maggie (9F) hasn't caught on yet either.For those who don't know, the Elf on the Shelf is essentially this tradition where an elf doll comes to watch the kids during Christmastime, and at night flies to the North Pole to report their behavior to Santa, and goes on Christmas Eve. We've been doing this since the kids were little, and I have always found it bizarre but Jenna thinks it's fun.About 3 years ago, Jenna found that there's a part of the Elf on the Shelf tradition where the elf can come visit for birthdays, according to their website. She bought a tiny party hat for the elf, and he has come to visit the kids on their birthdays for about since then, and brings a present with him.A week ago, Chris told us he wanted a very specific toy of the solar system and gave us the name of it. I googled the toy and couldn't find it on Amazon, eBay, Marketplace, or anywhere else. I did more research and it seems like the toy has not been manufactured since the late 90s or so, so I knew there was no chance he was getting it.That night at dinner, Chris told us how confident he was that the Elf would bring him this planet model. Jenna tried to warn him that the Elf might have trouble getting it, to which my daughter said that Santa can get people whatever they want. I gave my wife a glance, but she shook her head.A few days before today, I ordered some glow-in-the-dark planets that hang from the ceiling off of Amazon.Today, when he woke up, the Elf was not there but Jenna assured him he would be there when he got home. While he was at school, Jenna wrapped his gifts including the planets, and put out the Elf with its party hat.Fast forward to his birthday celebration with our family at night, it's time to open presents and Chris grabs the present next to the Elf, and opens it with excitement but to his horror he hasn't gotten the gift he wanted. He looks upset.Jenna tells him that like she said, sometimes the Elf can't always get everyone what they want. He starts saying that he wanted the planet model he saw online and whining. I pull him aside into the other room, away from his sister, and quietly say to him that the Elf isn't real, nor Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., and that I tried looking for the toy online, and because of when it was last made it was probably impossible to find. He ran upstairs in tears.Now Jenna is pissed at me, saying I've ruined the holidays plus his birthday for him. I honestly feel kinda bad but I also don't want my kid going to middle school believing in Santa.Reddit, AITA? | AITA for telling my son the Elf on the Shelf, Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., aren't real? | YTA |
10yidw3 | My 11yo son goes to a skate park after school with his friends who include his cousin/my nephew Jack who is also 11. I went to pick up both boys when I saw a crowd of kids by the fence. I went over and asked what was so interesting and they pointed to a snake.Not just a snake, but a rattlesnake. They had never seen one before (maybe outside a zoo) and I assume they were trying to get it to strike because they didn't think they'd get bit.I told them all to get away from it and they did except Jack who actually got closer with his phone. I think he wanted to get a closeup video of the snake striking. I yelled at him to get away and he told me to hold on. I took him by his arm and pulled him away. He gave me this angry stare. I told him what the fuck? That snake could kill you. He gave me the silent treatment until his mom picked him up.Then 20 minutes she called me up in a rage about how I grabbed him and did this and did that and hurt him etc and I'm not his dad.I asked her if her sweet angel told her about the rattlesnake that he was provoking. She said what snake. I hung up.She called up again and said that I still owed her and Jack an apology for handling him. I told her to STFU and check his phone and see if I did any of that stuff as his camera was recording everything.An hour later, my brother called me up and said what Jack did was stupid and he was happy I was there but I still owed his wife an apology for telling her to STFU. I said I'm not apologizing for nothing. At least until she apologizes to me for coming at me sideways twice. To be honest I don't even care because I don't like her anyways.He apologized and I said not acceptable. She needs to apologize. | AITA for telling my brother that I want an apology from his wife and not him? | NTA |
10yd4gc | Sorry for making the title so long. I just don't know how better to put it.Throwaway btw.Hi, I'm 14, I have 1 brother who's 15 and my sister who's 12. My dad died in 2020.In December, my mom suprised us my brother and sister with brand new phones, and me with a gaming laptop. I was so freaking happy that I was counting the days down until it was time to pick it up. (My mom was giving the gifts to us early)So, at the start of 2022, my mom introduced her boyfriend. As long as my mom was happy, I didn't care. The big "event" came on the night of Christmas. Basically, my brother accidentally woke up my mom. She was pisssed off, took our phones, and left. Then my mom's boyfriend came in, demanding our laptops and stuff (my brother had a chromebook) and it was scary. We both didn't realize he was slamming each laptop he got down as hard as possible until he left the room. I was extremely upset and just held my laptop for a little bit until my mom came in asking what happened with the single question after that "Did you guys give him your laptops?" I said yes That we did and she left the room. We heard them fighting and soon he left. Me and my brother we're so scared that we hid in the storage room. The laptop was done for. He slammed it so hard the battery fell out. We didn't get to see my brothers chromebook as my mom picked it up as she left. Eventually my sister came out from her room and talked with me. Then, my mom came out for the first time since it happened and said that HE WAS COMING BACK!?!? Honestly, I just asked her a single question. Why? She didn't answer and closed the door. When it was morning, we all sit down for a "family meeting". My mom's boyfriend just looked away the entire time while we talked and only talked when talked to. Basically, he blamed the whole thing on us! He didn't like how our rooms weren't perfectly clean. The part that made me angry the most? He said how he didn't like it that when he came back during the night he smashed the laptops, he didn't like how it wasn't. Clean. Honestly, what the fuck!? What the hell was he thinking?!? Ah yes, smashing laptops with get the room into perfect condition. While he did promise to replace the laptops, that doesn't fix anything. This should NOT BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG. So, as a reminder that this happened, my brother and I took pictures of my laptop for a "just in case" sorta thing, and I taped the battery up on my wall. Soon, my mom asked me why it was there. I said it was a reminder of what happened on Christmas night. She got angry and said I should remove it. I stood my ground and said no. Like I said before, this is NOT something that should be ignored. Since then, they've been making comments about how it doesn't look good and should be taken down, and it's starting to wear me down. So reddit, AITA? | AITA for taping my laptop battery to the wall when my mom's boyfriend broke it? | NTA |
10ydlma | Background story, I am engaged and I wanted to elope. Big weddings are expensive and anxiety inducing. We don’t have much money saved. I would rather got our shit together first. I told him this. His family is rich and his mom has been pressuring us to get married. She told him I didn’t love him because I didn’t set a date. She offered to pay for our wedding, she’d do whatever we wanted. She’d repeat this to everyone. I caved.Fast forward, we look for venues. I ask about the budget. They decline. We wasted 2-3 of vacation to figure out venues were too expensive. We find a venue, now onto photographer. FM (fiancés mom) immediately told us her pick. A photographer that used being French as his personality. I picked an indie photographer from the list the planner sent. Indie photographer wasn’t available so I went with FM choice. We did the shoot, French photographer was horrible. Got weird angles, lots of feet pics. FM fires him and suddenly indie is available. Had a session with indie, was asked how we found them. “I actually wanted to choose you first but you were unavailable. It’s great you freed up!”. Indie responds “huh, really…”, confused. Later, FM fires planner. I think they lied to me.Another situation happens, rehearsal dinner. They want to do a pizza place. As long as we could bring our own ethnic food it didn’t matter. Last min FM says she is signing contract. I be sure to ask again about outside food. She says they don’t allow outside food after asking before. FM argues that they are paying a lot for the wedding and they won’t change the place. I propose separate welcome dinners. I’ve stated multiple times that food is culturally important for my side. I told her I’m paying for my own welcome dinner. She states if there are 2, there will be no wedding. I tell her no wedding then. She comes back, saying we can have separate dinners but her son must be with his family. I agree.Now it’s wedding invitations. I tried to stick with a cheap design. I told fiancé prior it would be nice if my name came before his, every wedding I’ve been to has been that way. His parents end up picking the expensive upgrades. At the end my fiancé speaks up for me and suggests if we can put my name before his (his parents are on the top as hosts). FM yells over the phone “NO! We are keeping it the way it is absolutely not”. I get overwhelmed and run to the bathroom to cry. It ends with her telling him to do whatever and hangs up. In the bathroom I think about how I was pressured and rushed. Every time I had an opinion it’s a problem. This is not my wedding. Later I text FM that I want to make two separate invitations. She can make her own for their side. She called her son to give another ultimatum. If we have 2 invites, the wedding is off. I tell his mom the wedding is off. Things have been rocky, I tell him we can still get married, it’s not like I didn’t want to. If I let her control this what else would she down the road? AITA? | AITA called off wedding | NTA |
10yi0qp | Long story short, my husband Sean (39M) and I (37M) are very close to our nieces and nephews.A year ago our niece Cassie (23F) on Sean's side got engaged while attending university across the country, we were overjoyed to learn of this and were looking forward to meeting the young man she'd met but that was going to have to wait until the wedding as myself and Sean run a business together and although we do travel quite a lot for it, Perth isn't one of the places where we trade so we haven't seen her in person for quite some time but have stayed in touch.About 6 months ago we received the wedding invitation and it requested RSVP asap, Cassie used to practically live with us before she moved so we're very close and we confirmed that we were coming.The accommodation was apparently going to be getting paid for by the groom's parents and being that we're in a pretty good position financially my husband offered to pay for our own room while we were there but they insisted on paying for the room.A week ago we got a strange email from Cassie asking us if it would be okay if we stayed in separate rooms while we were staying there, she did a lot of apologising for the inconvenience and it was quite nervous in tone, Sean was annoyed by the request and being that we had a lot on our plate with the business he closed the email after reading it out to me, later on that evening we got another email from Cassie asking if we'd had time to read her message just before she began calling on our home phone.Sean put the call on speaker phone and Cassie explained to us that her fiancé and his parents are catholic, that they don't recognise gay relationships or marriages and were not prepared to pay for a room to contain 2 men as they felt that that would be encouraging something that they don't agree with. Sean, was annoyed but he held his temper and told her that it was fine, we'd just pay for our own room as we'd offered to originally but Cassie insisted that we not do that, that we just stay in separate rooms to avoid any dramas for her and then she went on to tell us that we'd been seated at opposite tables for the reception and that her fiancé had requested that we not be in any photos standing together and avoid mentioning our relationship to any of his family.Sean lost his temper at this point and told Cassie that we would not be attending the wedding if that was the case and hung up on her and we've been bombarded with messages and calls from Sean's brothers and sisters telling us that Cassie is devastated and heartbroken and that if we were not to attend, it would ruin the event for her, that we're being overdramatic and that it's just a couple of days of pretending not to be in a relationship for the sake of Cassie's future marriage and it's starting to make me feel like we should just reconsider and go despite how insulting this whole thing feels.WIBTA if we stand strong on our decision not to attend? | WIBTA for not attending a wedding after RSVPing after being offended by requests to be separated from my husband for the duration of the event? | NTA |
10yfsjo | Background...Me and my wife live in central Jersey. She was a NYC resident for years before we met. Her Dr was from NYU and she was adamant about wanting to have the baby delivered with a Dr she was familiar with. We're all good with that. This was never an issue even though the ride is 2 or so hours. A couple days before my wife went into labor I had a motorcycle accident and broke my collar bone. I was scheduled for an operation on a monday morning 1st thing. Sunday evening about 2am my wife wakes me up to tell me her water broke. She also tells me "Don't worry about it i know you have your operation this morning, I'll just take a cab." To which I replied "thats ridiculous, of course I'll take you. I immediatly gather everything together to drive her to NYU. Everything goes relatively smooth other than 30hrs of labor, our baby came out healthy and i was there to see the birth of my newborn. However, I was unable to cancel my appointment because i didn't want to leave my wifes side. After a bit of time i got through to my Dr who said it is imperative that we have the operation before the bone heals while it is splintered... if we don't they will have to re-break it to set it and it may never heal right. They told me they can get me in right away if i head back home to central NJ. I told her what they said and i asked if it was ok with her. to which she replied excitedly "of course! you should go!" by the time I had the operation and got back to the hospital another day or so later her entire family was there and the tension in the air was so think you could cut it with a knife. when I finally got to talk to my wife she said she hated that i left her there all alone to which things got heated and the last thing she said to me before i decided to drop it is"i hate you for leaving me alone like this at a time that i needed you here and i will probably hate you for the rest of my life for it" I couldn't even make the argument that "you told me I should go" This is a 10 year old argument and we NEVER bring it up cause its such a hot button issue, but it has always been in the back of my head wether i was right to go. Her family says i should have stayed and my friends say i did the right thing so i need an unbiased opinion so i can put this to rest for my own sanity. | AITA For leaving my wife at the hospital with our newborn to go have an operation | NTA |
10ygmg7 | Hi everyone. Throwaway account.I, 19F, am in college for my freshman year. My roommate is Megan, 20F, and she and I have gotten along somewhat well for the most part. Our suitemates, Adina and Cassidy, whom we share a bathroom with, are next door.I recently (over the past two weeks) started learning how to play trumpet and have been taking private lessons. Megan is usually out of the room when I have them, but sometimes, she is at the dorm. Megan says she doesn’t mind me playing the trumpet because she can put her earbuds in.This afternoon at around three, I was practicing after my Zoom lesson had ended (Megan was not in the room). I got a text from Adina, asking if I would mind not practicing right now. I told her no, it wasn’t quiet hours in the building until ten. She said she could hear it through the wall and she was taking a test. I told her that the building is where a lot of people live, and she could go to the lobby or to another building if she didn’t want to hear me playing the trumpet.She came to our door in person and asked me to stop again. I told her politely again that this was my room and I had the right to do what I wanted as long as it wasn’t quiet hours. We got into a huge argument, she left and went somewhere else to study, and I continued to practice.I told Megan and she said she’s kinda pissed at me since now the four of us probably won’t hang out together now, and we’ve been getting along really well. Now I feel like maybe I messed up, but then again I feel like I was following the building rules, so Reddit, AITA? | AITA for playing the trumpet? | YTA |
10y8lk5 | So, I’m in college. One of my courses is an online class (the subject doesn’t really matter) so there’s a group chat with most of my other classmates which we use to help each other out, answer questions and so on. I’m fairly familiar with this subject so some topics I can understand and explain to classmates who don’t. There’s one classmate in particular who asks me for help more than anyone else (to the point where they private message me). Now, I understand being scared to ask a “dumb” question, not sure how to word a question or ask for help, but it’s gotten really out of hand and I want to know if i’m being rude. At first, they would ask me to explain certain topics, which I did. Then, it quickly turned into them taking a picture of a question and asking for the answer(s). Of course I didnt wanna be that person; I know college is hard and we’re all trying to get by but I knew that if I kept giving them the answers then they would have no motivation to learn the topics on their own. What really pissed me off was the week of the test. Now, the online course gives us a 3-day window to take the in-person, proctored test. I took it on day 1, others took it on day 2 or 3. Taking it on day 1 just meant that I could tell others what to focus on, what to expect, and release the stress they may have (not give them the answers). This classmate took it on day 3. Now, It’s important to know that they don’t even use the group chat where everyone answers each other’s questions. I can’t remember the last time they spoke in it, so when I say they only ask me for help, I mean it. So on the day of their test, they’re texting me saying they’re gonna fail and that they might need my help. Of course I reassured them, but let them know the test is proctored so they won’t have their phone and I won’t be able to help them. Even if they did let us have our phones I still wouldnt have helped them. During their test, I unexpectedly get a text from them FROM THEIR APPLE WATCH (another reason why I despise apple watch users). Of course it’s a picture of a test question (a pretty easy one) that happened to be the exact same question our professor went over in the test review on Zoom (which they said they attended). I completely ignored them because I reached a boiling point. No way should they think I’ll supply them with answers while they dont do the work on their own. I’ve taken time out of my day to give them 90% of the answers to an online homework assignment (it had 40 or more questions). By the week of the test, I thought they would’ve known the material by now. We’re all learning the same thing and I shouldnt be burdened with learning it myself while someone nags me for the answers I’ve found, especially not on a test.Am I the asshole? | AITA for ignoring a classmate who constantly asks me for help? | NTA |
10yhcr6 | I 42f got married four days ago. I’m sadly writing this during my honeymoon. I have been with my husband45 for 4 years. My husband has a daughter Shianna19.I had asked Shianna to be one of my bridesmaids. Her mom passed away when she was young, and I have always tried to have a connection with her, but she was always very against me. She’s tried pinning us against each other for as long as I can remember or she just not friendly to me. I’ve tried engaging with her in things I know she liked. I tried helping her with college tours. She actually spent 3 days at her grandmothers when she found out her father proposed to me. Nothing seemed to work till I asked her to be my bridesmaid. She was very excited which I was shocked by, but took this as my opportunity to bond.I chose a light blue for my bridesmaid dresses but let them pick the dress, and my husband bought Shiannas since she’s in college and only works part time and was worried she wouldn’t be able to afford an elegant enough dress for our wedding. My husband was very excited about his daughter being in the wedding as well.Day of the wedding, I have 2 other bridesmaids, my sister, and my best friend. I’m getting my makeup done, and they come up to me and whisper that I have to see what shiannas wearing and to stay calm and not ruin my day. So I marched down to the room Shianna was in to see. She did not have the dress we bought her one, in fact she had a white long fluffy dress on, very similar to a wedding dress.I asked her what she was wearing and she just said “I liked this one better, light blue is ugly.” I was so mad, I told her she didn’t match with the wedding party, and she needed to change if she wanted to be in the wedding. She just shook her head and said “you can’t kick me out, my dads here.” I said “you can stay all you want, but you won’t be in the wedding party.” We argued for a few minutes before I finally told her to go find a seat then because I didn’t want her being one of my bridesmaids no more.She got angry and instead left. After my husband noticed Shianna wasn’t in the wedding he began acting weird. He was very cold and off the rest of the day, even after I explained what happened. We’re at this beautiful honeymoon resort in Florida and he slept most the plane ride, then when we got here we got into a big argument about Shianna being kicked out. He didn’t see the white dress and the direct defiance as big of an issue as I did. She had texted him this BS excuse about how she didn’t think it’d be an issue and thought it’d be okay. She even pointed out that I was probably worried she’d look better then me and oh how she didn’t wanna ruin my special day. We’re not arguing anymore but he’s still a little distant and we’ve only even went out a few times because of it. I feel like maybe I should’ve just ignored the dress because now it’s ruining my honeymoon.The dress was similar to this: https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwj6tc3Snor9AhWh4IYKHZ7iCqkYABBDGgJ2dQ&ae=2&sig=AOD64_2DfKDv2B9JBGFPFxoJ7ZgLJVhZlw&adurl&ctype=5&ved=0CAQQ0LYHKCFqGAoTCPDToteeiv0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABC7Aw | AITA for kicking stepdaughter out of my wedding | NTA |
10yaf9r | My sister and her husband have been together since they were around 18. They’re now 23 and got married last year.My BIL who I’m going to call Luke is a really good guy. But he doesn’t really get some things, mainly social cues.My dad and him... their relationship is a little complicated. My dad doesn’t hate him but it took a while to warm up to him. Even now, he’s just civil.Luke really wants to get on my dad’s good side. He does a lot to get his approval. Basically while my dad technically “approved”, he only approved because of my sister. Luke wants our dad to really accept him.It’s a little sad. My dad doesn’t think Luke is man enough and he even finds him annoying. My sister just told us the other day that she’s pregnant. Everyone was happy... except my dad. He said his congrats but was extremely upset. Luke tried conversing with him the whole night. My dad gave him one word answers or just tuned him out. Obviously, Luke didn’t understand. My sister and my mom were in the basement looking at baby stuff my mom had stored so they weren’t present. I was though and I tried distracting Luke but he didn’t get it and right after he’d help me with something he’d go straight back to my dad.Eventually my dad just had it and was like “do you ever just the shut the hell up?” Luke was surprised but stayed quiet after that. He looked really sad and just sat there till my sister came back and they left. It’s genuinely the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Luke is literally a great guy. He’s smart and has a good job, comes from a really nice family, is very kind, plays hockey (dad’s favourite), and I mean my dad wouldn’t care but he’s good looking too. So what if he’s a little awkward at times? So what if sometimes my sister has to “take charge”?My dad was going to bed after they left and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. I was in shock. I asked him if he was seriously this upset about his daughter having a baby with Luke. It’s not like he didn’t see this coming.My dad told me to leave it and mind my own business but I called him a cold hearted man and said that I’m embarrassed to be his child if this is how he’s going to act. This struck a nerve and he said that he isn’t cold hearted, he’s just being a dad and as a dad, he doesn’t like Luke. He’s just worried about her and the future baby. He said that if I’m embarrassed about that then I’ll make a terrible parent in the future. He’s acting all awkward around me now and my mom’s begging me to just say sorry and said that I won’t understand. AITA? | AITA for calling my dad cold hearted and embarrassing? | NTA |
10yadx1 | My in-laws, especially my mother-in-law, have a habit of calling my husband at all hours and asking him to do things for them. My father-in-law called him but because he was sleeping I answered the phone. He asked me to wake him up because he needed his help but I refused to as it was late and he was tired.I told him I would ask my husband to call him in the morning but my father-in-law said it was important and I could hear my mother-in-law telling him to say it was an emergency in the background. I asked what he needed and offered to help but he didn’t want to tell me and kept insisting I wake my husband.After about 5 minutes of him trying to make me wake my husband up, I finally gave up and hung up. They repeatedly called me and my husband and sent me texts telling me to give the phone to my husband and to stop ignoring them. The next morning, I explained what happened to my husband. When he came home from their house, he told me his parents were upset with me. He wasn’t, though.AITA? | AITA for not waking my husband up so my father-in-law could speak to him? | NTA |
10yay0i | Around early October I ordered a bunch of clothing including a winter jacket that cost me around 500 cad Around 2-3 weeks later I checked the tracking number and the website said it was ready to be picked up as of a few days prior. Confused as usually the place where the package gets delivered to would call if there was a package waiting to be picked up.Said package was a lot smaller than anticipated (since the winter coat I ordered was like a maxi coat)had my name and address on it, but the wrong phone number. Which would explain why I didn't get the call.So i brought it home n opened it up and voila, there was a couple sweaters that I didn't order and someone else's receipt inside.So of course I contacted customer support n asked what's gonna happen with my actual order. (Lo and behold I couldn't get any replacements so I just ended up getting a refund)Then I asked what to do with the package I received.They told me to bring it back to the place where I picked it up (not the post office btw, I cant recall what the name is so ill just call that buisness PO) and tell them it was the wrong package and they (PO) would send it back to the supplier.So I taped it back up w the other person's receipt in there and made my way back to the PO.The PO didn't want it back because they didn't want to foot the cost to send it back (ah I forgot to mention that this package came from a different country)I didnt either so I took it back home and emailed the customer support to ask for them to provide a return label for the package.CS said they couldn't because it was an international package. I told them without it or reimbursement I won't send it back until one of those happened.So I just tossed it in the top of my closet n forgot about it till I seen a different reddit post that reminded me of this lol.So aita for just not returning the package? | AITA For not returning a package? | NTA |
10yh28h | There is a woman I'm relatively friendly with at work - we're both ladies in our mid-20s, the rest of the team is in their late 40s/50s so we naturally have more to talk about, apart from work we don't really hang out though.Anyway, for staffing shortage reasons I was moved to another branch a few months ago, we still occasionally saw each other and chatted at team meetings or events but otherwise she's just "person I know from work". This is where the story starts - suddenly, for the first time in six months, she sends me a text asking if I would like to buy some of her friend's perfumes "inspired by YSL and Dior for 30€". I said no (I'm not really into cosmetics), and thought that was the end of it. A week after that, she was literally waiting for me outside the building, with her case of testers, and insisted we sit down at a nearby bar so I could smell a few of them.By this point I kind of suspected she was in an MLM, and since there were a lot of people from work around I didn't want to make a scene + thought it would be a good idea to ask some more questions to figure out if it really was. From her answers about "nah, just a profitable side business for my friend, once she hits it big she will go full-time though" and remarks like "she also sells makeup, skincare and essential oils, tell all your friends" I was fairly certain it was an MLM. I then told her, very clearly, that I didn't have money to spend on a ton of perfume nor did I really use perfume (she was pushing me to buy them for friends), but that if she was still in contact with her friend at Christmas, I'd **maybe** buy a bottle (an offer made in good faith, since objectively the perfumes smelled pretty nice, the packaging was good-quality and there's a price cap on office Secret Santa anyway so it was a good back-up plan if I couldn't come up with anything else).Cut to today, two weeks later, and she texts me again saying "okay, I ordered the one you liked from my friend, she says because it's a 'luxe' brand it's 56€, but the OG sells for Sephora on 350€!" I checked, even the biggest bottle does not, she never mentioned different pricing and **I did not ask her to buy it**. I responded as much, and she called me yelling about how she already advanced the money and how she'd turn our clients (edited to clarify: the clients of our firm) against me.I don't think I did anything wrong (other than complimenting her wares?), but I still feel bad if she already sent the money to her friend and/or is being exploited herself, so AITA here? | AITA if I refuse to pay for a perfume a colleague got for me? | NTA |
10yfivt | Ok my son is almost 19 and this is his first girlfriend. They've been dating for like 8 months now. She quit school as a Junior in HS. Her parents are not very supportive, but my wife and I try to supplement what they lack. And my son does too. He tries to be her emotional support anchor. My son is actually very down to earth, a little quiet, good looking kid, and he's got a lot going for him. GF though doesn't feel very motivated to do much of anything, but stands in the way of his priorities and even tries to get him to skip school on occasion. Luckily he doesn't (that I know of). I might be a bit biased, but he's a really good kid. A LOT better than I ever was. She has (her words) emotional breakdowns that stem from either her part time job, or her family. (Her family has clinical mental issue as well).I recognize that he loves her. I don't stand in their way. But at the same time, I know someone in this relationship is going to get hurt. My wife (his mother) doesn't like the emotional manipulation she notices GF using to have my son break house rules. Curfew, homework, and other responsibilities. I want to stand up and be like son, other fish in the sea, you're young, open your eyes, but I also feel like he's got to learn the hard way. I'm just not sure I'll be around to help pick up the pieces. | AITA who doesn't want my son to date an emotional dumpster fire? | NTA |
10yg6o0 | I am a 20F and I have been at my current job for almost a year. For some context, it is a well known country club in the states and I also go to school full time. When originally hired, I worked at the pool serving and bartending. I received no training on the bar and was not immediately required to get my RAMP certification. Once the pool closed I moved to working indoors as a banquet server and bartender. I was immediately required to get my RAMP certification (obv I was fine with this and it was free). The club ended up hiring a new manager (50-60M). He is qualified for the job he has as he has plenty of prior experience in hospitality, however, he has never worked in a country club setting. It is VERY different than working in a hotel. Fast forward a few months, new manager has become very rude, drinking on the job, yelling at members and guests - including a bride and groom and their wedding coordinator. (He didn’t like that they made guests stand outside while the newlyweds had their final dance). We are super short staffed as it is but the final straw for me was when he told me not to listen to another manager (50F) because “she is not your boss, I am and it is my party” yet they literally have the same title and are paid the same. I spoke with him privately about how I felt very confused by his comment towards my other manager. He then told me “you need to be smarter in life, when you have worked in this industry as long as I have, you will understand” this obviously pissed me off because 1-I have been working in the industry since I was 14 aka 6/7 years; 2- I graduated high school a year early, I have my associates degree, and I am studying pre-law as a major with a minor in international studies and will have my bachelors before I am 22. I am smart. I was so offended by his comment about me being smart and the other situations that I found another job and gave them my 2 weeks notice. AITA for quitting my job knowing they’re already short staffed? *I am on prescribed anxiety meds so maybe I am just overthinking* | AITA for quitting my job leaving them short staffed? | NTA |
10y8w0g | Context: My boyfriend and I live together and share finances. I make significantly more money than him and we don’t have a car. We are not in a great financial spot and are living paycheck to paycheck. I take a 90 minute bus ride to and from work every day. It sucks. I’ve had some negative experiences on it with someone trying to attack me. My boyfriend refuses to take a 10 minute bus ride to his job, so we end up paying about $25 in Uber rides each day for him to go to and from work. He works between 2-6 hours each day making $25 an hour. He says he’s paying for it, so it should be fine. I pay all of our bills. I feel that him wasting $500 a month on Ubers harms us both and is selfish. AITA for expecting him to take the bus even if he’s paying for his own rides? | AITA for wanting my boyfriend to take the bus? | NTA |
10y9y3j | As we speak, we are on our way to the Broadway show "Wicked." On the drive, shes listening and singing to various songs, which is perfectly fine. Then, halfway there, she says "you know what, in honor of Wicked...." and summons up a Broadway playlist of showtunes. I ask her "just please don't put on anything from wicked. I want to go in fresh and unreminded of the songs, the words, and the melodies." The music is the story, after all. Listening to it beforehand is like reading the whole plot of a movie before going to watch it.For a few songs, it's other music from other productions. Then a wicked song comes on and I plead with her to turn it off when I realize that she intends to keep it on. She intentionally ignores me. She turns it off, angerly, only after the long instrumental introduction, just before the actual singing begins. It is at this point that she begins to go off on me and rips into me about how terrible of a person I am, about how I won't allow her to just be be happy. Furthermore, as supporting evidence to her point, she brings up how I "hit" her (actually a nudge) at the last show we went to, when she was singing along (albeit quietly, but loud enough for me and whoever is on the other side of her I'm sure). I nudged her because this is something I consider to be rude to the other show goer and immersion breaking - because it draws you out of the show and back into the audience to the person making noise next to you. So, AITA for asking her to just not play music from wicked IMMEDIATELY before going to watch wicked? And, additionally, about my philosophy concerning singing along (quietly or otherwise) while in the audience?Edit: some formating alterations. Also, to clarify, in the theatre she isn't full on singing, but it is a subtle noise that myself and the person next to her would be able to subtly hear. I don't want people thinking shes belting it out as though she was a cast member. | AITA for asking my wife to stop playing certain music? | NTA |
10y8is2 | So i moved i to a new apartment complex a few months ago and we only have street parking, no designated spots or a parking lot/garage, which means that for 20 apartments, space is limited. About 3 weeks ago i reported a car that had multiple flat tires that had been sitting there since i moved in, and today i reported another car that has been sitting with a flat tire for at leasr 3-4 weeks now and both cars are/were parked in the beat parking spots, directly by the front of the building, on the street. 1 peraon has posted an angry message claiming someone is targeting them because their car was towed, but i dont see that as targeting.Am I The Asshole?EDIT: I realized i accidentally left out an important part, as pointed out by at least 3 different people. I reported the vehicles to the management of the apartments, and the in turn sent out an email to everyone in the complex requesting someone to move or claim the vehicle with 5 days or it would be towed. | AITA for wanting good parking? | NTA |
10yea9v | So, I’m having a tough time here. I’m in my last year of high school and it’s time for cap and gown purchasing and yearbook page reserving. I have been telling my mom for at least 2 years that I am not going to the graduation ceremony, and I am certainly not getting a yearbook. High school has been the shitiest 4 years of my life and I just want to get my diploma and dip. WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE AT GRADUATION TO GET. Not only did she decide to purchase a cap and gown, but she also now is designing a page in the yearbook!! She even asked my opinion and got upset when I told her I didn’t want either. She is now holding it over my head saying, “I already bought you a cap and gown’!” I told her, “i don’t give a shit, I told you not to”. She got mad and walked away. I understand that she wants to do something to “commemorate” my high school years, but I literally have 0 friends at school and have done nothing but want to off myself the entirety of my high school career. After going back and forth on this, I told her I’d dip and not come back if she proceeded with her plans. She called me an ungrateful asshole, and said I should be glad that she’s doing this for me, because some parents wouldn’t. I get that, but she doesn’t see my side either. I feel like I could be just a spoiled brat who wants things my way, but I also feel like I have a reason too. AITA in this situation? | AITA for telling my mom I’d up and disappear if she forced me to have a page in the yearbook? | NTA |
10yikf2 | I 32 (f) never really had many friends. When I married my 34 (m) husband he had a huge friend group that was very close. Obviously through dating and then marriage they kind of “adopted” me. I think a lot of them are really nice people and don’t mind being around them, though I wouldn’t classify any as “close friends” at least of mine. Recently I have started making some friends and spending a bit of time with them (other women with similar interests) and got invited to a party coming up at one of their houses. My husband is mad and irritated that I want to spend time with these new friends when I “never made an effort with the women in his friend group” and to be fair I need a lot of alone time and it’s difficult for me to make close friends, but me and his female friends get along but never “clicked” if that makes sense? I expressed interest in attending the party and he said he would rather “spend time with friends that mattered to him” this hurt my feelings as I’ve never really brought friends to the table…I think he’s being really selfish but am AITA for not just automatically being friends with his friends??I’m really second guessing myself. Any advice? | AITA for being a late bloomer? | NTA |
10yigop | This past weekend was my 50th birthday. I was really excited as it was the first birthday, since my 21st, that I really wanted to celebrate. I wanted to wake up to the ocean sounds on that day so I picked Mexico to celebrate with my immediate family. My son flew in from Florida the day before and he, my parents, my daughter and my husband all drove down and stayed in a rented house for the weekend.A little bit of background is that I have been in recovery for 16 years and it's not a secret. My husband and son were both there and remember how bad it was before I got sober. My daughter wasn't born yet. One of our house rules is that there isn't any alcohol in the house, at anytime, for piece of mind. My father, who's getting forgetful, made a joke about bringing alcohol for his coffee and I stated that I don't drink so he didn't bring it with.When crossing the border, very little food can be taken due to each country's laws, so a trip to the grocery store is required to make it through the weekend. Once we got to town, we headed to the grocery store for produce, meat, etc. I was looking at the bakery for a cake for myself and couldn't find my husband and son to ask their opinion on one. I hunted them down only to see that they had been in the liquor section and had beer and mixers in the cart. I asked them if they were seriously buying it and they just laughed, bought it and brought alcohol into the house. I spent the next two days with beer in the fridge and or watching them drink it. I was angry all weekend. I told them that they were disrespectful to me as it was my birthday weekend and they shrugged it off and continued on. I just couldn't believe that my family bought and brought alcohol to an alcoholic's birthday weekend knowing that it an issue. We are supposed to go out to Florida to visit our son as a family and I refuse to do that. I don't want to be in the position of them having alcohol all week around me I know that it's always going to be a temptation but also know that it's not even an option for me. Am I the AH for getting angry and not respecting the fact that they don't have a problem with alcohol? | AITA for being angry over alcohol and breaking house rules? | NTA |
10yfigl | My older brother (22) and I (21) had to mature pretty quickly as kids. My mom was a single mother in her 20s for a bit after leaving an abusive relationship. We had to learn to cook, clean and kinda just take care of ourselves. Now she relies on me to help out with her younger ones because she claims to be too tired. Mind you she’s in her late 40s now. Eventually she got together with another man who’s now my stepdad. She had my 2 younger siblings with him (13 and 16). Although i’m glad he’s in the picture, he’s not really involved. He pays the bills but doesn’t cook, clean or parent at all. The rare times that my mom asks him to sit down and have a chat with my siblings he says he hates dealing with that stuff because it just ends up giving him a headache so he walks off without helping. My mom doesn’t do much around the house anymore. She doesn’t cook or clean. When I worked the night shift there was a time where for an entire week we ate fast food for dinner because she wouldn’t cook and I wasn’t home to do so. I work the morning shift now so she expects me to pick up around the house and have dinner ready by the time she gets home. She also doesn’t enforce any rules. My siblings can stay home from school whenever they feel like it. She doesn’t stay on top of their grades so they’re failing a lot of courses and not on track to graduate. She lets them be on their phones 24/7 and doesn’t assign them chores to help around the house. I try and stay on top of them but they’re at that age where they don’t listen especially to me since i’m not their mom. My mom and I have gotten into lots of heated arguments mostly started by me saying I don’t want to parent them since it’s not my job. She’ll go on to tell me it’s like paying her back for all that she did for me as a mother. I then tell her I don’t owe her anything because she chose to have kids so they’re always going to be her responsibly but she thinks i’m at an age where I can help her out and ease off the stress for her but I feel like she’s asking for too much. I don’t have enough money to move out yet but once I do I want to cut all ties. So, AITA or should I be expected to help out? | AITA for telling my mom i’m tired of being a second parent to my younger siblings? | NTA |
10ybitt | I (14M) got into an argument with my mom. It started a few days ago, when my online school sent out an email about a program called cubes in space. In a simplified way, this program is 2 months long, with meetings once every week. Also, there are assignments to do after every lesson. The program is based on allowing high schoolers to do experiments that will be sent to space. (I need to mention that I am not a fan of math, and I am neutral about science.) When I first got the email a few days ago, my mom asked me if I wanted to do it. I told her that I would think about it. I did think about it, and I said no. She accepted my answer, but today, things got bad. It started with her talking to me about it again. I again, told her no. This program is in the middle of the school year, and it ends right before keystone testing, which I need to pass to go to 10th grade. I told her this along with other reasons, including me just not wanting to do it. She refused to take no for an answer. She signed me up for the program while I was trying to explain to her why I didn't want to do it. She only talked to me to get information for the sign-up form. We were getting fed up with each other, so as I got up, I told her that she can sign me up, but I will be upset if she did. As you can imagine, she signed me up. I felt hurt and betrayed, and very disrespected. She was pissed at me to say the least, not really talking to me. She then asked me to ask my friends (who got to the same school as me). They said that they weren't signing up for it, as they said that the program was too much for before the keystones. When I told my mom what they said, she got mad at me. (I just feel so confused and hurt)Before wrapping this up, I would like to mention that my mom is doing chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. I take care of the entire house, do school on my own, take care of 6 pets, and prepare most meals for us. I also literally get her water every time she asks. I make all phone calls for her as well. (She is partially def, which means that I am helping her with everything that has to do with her treatments.)Reddit, please tell me if AITA. I will answer any questions in the comments for clarification. | AITA for my reaction towards my mom forcefully signing me up for a 2-month program. | NTA |
10yf1xs | I was on a particular art-sharing site (DeviantArt) that I often frequent, and came across a recent upload from somebody. I recognized the art style instantly as being that of a talented artist I admired. The only problem: the account that had posted the art was not that of the original artist but rather some random individual. There was no caption or other indication of who the original artist was, so I assumed that the “reposter” had stolen the artwork and was claiming it as their own work. They had also given it a different title than the one the original artist had used when the latter had posted the image on their own account a few years back (yes, I actually went back and checked).Well, somebody had commented “Excellent work” on the image, and the original poster replied with a simple “thank you”. I responded with my own comment, accusing the reposter of stealing the art from the original artist. Reposter replied saying they had permission to repost, before calling me an “arsehole” and blocking me (they also added a caption afterwards saying they had commissioned the work from the original artist).Was I the a**hole for commenting and accusing the reposter of stealing the artwork? Should I have reached out to the original artist instead and informed/asked them? Was I also wrong in making such an assumption in the first place? | AITA for calling out somebody for “stealing” artwork? | NTA |
10ybino | Yall, I can't even with this. We planned a month ago to go on a deep sea fishing trip. My husband bought a boat two years ago (5 days before I gave birth to our youngest) and I have yet to be deep sea fishing on it. I have never been. So we both had a break in work and planned for this weekend. We asked his parents (his dad goes out on the boat a ton while I stay home and watch our girls). When asked we were told they would only keep one kid because it was too much trouble to keep both kids. Which was a bummer but that's okay we can take our oldest out with us. He talks to them last week and things may get canceled because his sister is having a melt down about work. So I tell him to check in with his parents to make sure this weekend is still okay. I go get the girls and come back and the first words he says is "did you know it was my mom's birthday?" I am shocked. I recently smashed my phone and had to get a new one and lost everything and didn't even think of checking birthdays. I thought it was in June. Well then come to find out she cussed him out for this. Obviously they got in a fight. And a comment made about her asking to keep both and he replied with "no keep one, you will not let me live this down if I left both of them with you". And I am sitting here feeling like a terrible person. I never get time to myself and the one time I ask for just a day and a half this happens. I now want to cancel the trip. It's her birthday weekend. Nobody wants to babysit on their birthday. But I am now being called the AH for feeling this way.EDIT: TITLE IS MISLEADING: AITA for trying to cancel my part of the trip so his mom doesn't have to watch our youngest? | AITA for my husband forgetting his mom's birthday? | NTA |
10yhujn | Throwaway account because I don't want anyone involved to find this.I (20F) have a best friend (also 20F) that I have known for a few years. I've met her family before and always thought her parents seemed nice, but she recently told me something that concerned me. I won't go into too much detail, but my friend's parents are pressuring her to do something that is illegal and could get her in trouble. They think it's not a big deal and she won't get caught, but she told them no as she doesn't want to risk getting in trouble. Ever since she refused, her parents have been bombarding her with texts, which she showed me. I was shocked when I saw them. They were truly awful, vile things that I could never imagine saying to someone, much less your own kid. They are full of gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional abuse. Her own mother literally called her a freak, a brat, accused her of being crazy, and told her not to come home, among other things. My friend is the kindest, sweetest, most empathetic person ever and doesn't deserve to hear those things, and they aren't even close to true.I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and I told my friend that this wasn't normal and wasn't okay. I also told her that this was emotional abuse. My friend apparently told her family about our talk and is now receiving texts again, angry at her for telling other people. I'm afraid I may have made the situation worse, but I just wanted to support her. So AITA for telling her what I told her? ​Btw- I have my friend's permission to post this. | AITA for telling my friend her family is emotionally abusive? | NTA |
10ygsg7 | My mom (70f) has always struggled with untreated social anxiety. She doesn’t have many friends and communicates minimally to her family. She is also very aloof when it comes to a relationship with me (38f). It’s only gotten worse after she retired two years ago.I grew up basically unable to invite friends over. I stayed at home over the summer with my sister growing up with very minimal contact with friends. I didn’t have a birthday party until I was 20. I understand she has anxiety, but I’ve had to deal with it for so long and miss out on friendships and opportunities growing up.My mom has a very large family. I’m getting married and we are only inviting 60-70 people due to budget constraints. My fiancé and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and we just bought a house last year, so we have a strict budget.I wanted to invite three sets of aunts and uncles from my dad’s side and from my mom’s side. I asked my mom for help contacting people for addresses. She wanted to invite two extra sets of aunts and uncles and guilted me into it.When I called her today to ask her for the addresses, she said that I need to contact them myself. I asked her to do it for me because she has their contact info and that they are all her sisters.She said that I can go into her Facebook contacts and get their contact info that way to ask them for addresses. I asked her why she can’t and she basically implied said “Oh, you know how my family can be. You never know who is upset with who. And I haven’t talked to them in a while.”I was kind of upset. I asked her a couple times why she wouldn’t help me out by contacting two people. It was like banging my head against the wall.I’ve come to the conclusion that if she’s not going to provide contact info for the people she wants there because she’s too scared to talk to them, that I’m not inviting them because I didn’t want them there anyways. She is so afraid people are upset with herzAITA for not being sympathetic to my mom’s anxiety? Should I just do it? | AITA for not inviting relatives to my wedding because of my mom’s social anxiety | NTA |
10ya2vu | For context, i’m 16 and my parents divorced just under a year ago after being married for 18 years.My mom waited about 8 months to start dating again (I don’t know if that’s a reasonable time to wait, but to me that seems fast considering how long they were married) and connected with the first person she happened to meet. I honestly didn’t care, because I thought it would last maybe a month and then she’d keep looking, but it’s now been three months and they’re still together. I have four siblings, and the younger two really liked him when they first met. Me, my younger sister(13) and my older brother(17) were much more hesitant and wanted to wait a month before meeting him (again, I think that’s reasonable). We’ve all met/been around him three times over the past two months, doing things like going to cafes and shops. All three of us agree that we don’t really like him yet and don’t want to be around him much, but my mom is now saying she wants us to be polite and spend more time with him, “even if we don’t like him”. She even said she’s going to “force us” to be around him when we said we don’t want to. We all agree that we’re still hurting from the recent divorce and don’t want to spend time around someone we don’t like, and that our mom is being too rushed and pushy, but our mom simply doesn’t understand. Am I the asshole for wanting her to let us get to know her boyfriend on our own time? | AITA for not wanting to rush a relationship with my mom’s boyfriend? | NTA |
10yffoo | My best friend of 11 years is currently dating a guy (that happens to be my cousin) and has been dating him for 6 years. The last 4 years of their relationship her boyfriend has become emotionally abusive. I am getting married this year and she is obviously my maid of honor. So, starting last year I’ve been working with her to plan out some things, such as my upcoming bachelorette trip, bridal shower, etc. All of last year, these things have never been an issue. With things quickly approaching this year, we are finalizing details about any upcoming events or trips. Thus, we’ve been talking about these activities way more in depth. Side note: there was an argument between them about the bachelorette trip which resulted in him crying and begging her to let him go with us. She told him yes, just to get him to stop crying. Ever since that argument, everything relating to the wedding has to be hush hush. I’m not allowed to talk about any details other than the dates and times of certain things. Today, I called her to discuss outfits for the bachelorette party. I sent her some pictures of a few dresses that I liked and which ones I thought her and the bridesmaids could wear to coordinate (these were your regular party dresses/jumpsuits. Nothing extreme). She had put me on speakerphone with her bf right next to her. As I was talking about the dresses and the ideas I had, she wasn’t really responding. I didn’t think anything of it. Next thing I know, she tells me that she has to hang up because *insert bf’s name* will start a fight. I said what do you mean? I’m just asking about what you think about the dresses. She goes on to say that he will think they are slutty and that will start an argument. I said well why would he know what they even look like? She responded and told me that she HAS TO show him because he heard our conversation. She said sorry and the we could talk later. At first I was okay but then I began thinking about it and just became instantly pissed. I can’t entirely explain my emotions around that, but I’ve summed it up to just being fed up with her boyfriend’s toxic behavior. I feel like it’s spilling over into our friendship. However, I also feel like I’m being extremely selfish and inconsiderate towards her. On one end, I feel like I’ve been the supportive friend, but this is getting to be too much. On the other end, I feel like as her best friend, I shouldn’t be upset as she is obviously in a terrible relationship. I brought my feelings to her attention in a text and I plan on speaking with her about it tomorrow. I just want to know if I am wrong for feeling upset about how I believe their relationship affects our friendship. TLDR; Best friend’s boyfriend is toxic and his behavior is spilling over into our relationship. AITA for being upset about how their relationship affects our friendship? | AITA for telling my best friend that her relationship is coming between us? | NTA |
10yhl6o | Hiya! Been tortured enough so I need a non biased opinion. I’ll start by saying I love my in laws and I truly look forward to spending time with them. They live across the country so we are lucky to see them once or twice a year. My MIL loves to ski so she comes here quite a bit in the winter and usually there is a trip with all the kids and their spouses, kids, etc. I will also preface with I am 30f, husband 32m, we will be together ten years this fall. Last year we gave very short notice that we would be able to attend so it was understandable (????) that we ended up in a room with our nephew who was 16 at the time. I love him dearly but sharing a room and bathroom with a pubescent teenager was not on the bingo card I selected for that trip. Fast forward to this year; we had given ample notice that we could attend so it didn’t occur to me to ask about the sleeping arrangements. The day of, I made a joke to my husband about sleeping with our nephew and he sort of brushed it off. Sure enough, we arrive and are instructed to put are things in his room yet again (in a large condo where his parents reside in the master bedroom). For context, there are two full sized beds and it is a big room but he is now 17 and we are all sharing a very small bathroom. I already do not sleep well and the added anxiety of all this made me extremely uncomfortable. I attempted to bring this up as we were unpacking but my husband shut it down immediately so I waited patiently until the drive home to bring it up. I asked if he would be offended if I got us a hotel room next time, and while he said no, every time it has come up since he gets completely offended and takes it personally that I don’t appreciate the free trip. TLDR: my husband and I are now apparently always sharing a room with his 17 year old nephew on vacation when he could be sleeping in the room with his own parents ore literally anywhere else in the condo. Is this not super bizarre and in appropriate? | AITAH- in laws sleeping arrangements | NTA |
10yhkz2 | I (24F) recently attended a bachelorette party for my (25F) close friend. We are from Texas and flew to Scottsdale for the weekend. I had to budget sparingly for the trip when it came to activities and food since travel expenses were not cheap. Since there were 9 girls in total we had to get a larger air bnb which costed about $100 per person as well as plane tickets for the round trip. For a two day trip I had already spent a little over $300 (not including activities). Most of our activities included going out including eating out for almost every meal, plus ordering two ubers every time we went out. I made sure to eat light and cheaply. One of the activities was an exclusive wine bar that required reservations for our larger party. I was told it would be $40 a person. However, when we got the bill it ended up being closer to $75 a person. I can not drink for health reasons so I sat there and drank water and chatted. I was not expecting, nor told, that the bill would be so high. Sense I did not budget for this and I did not drink, I said I could not pay more than $40 and would not split the bill for anything ordered at the club we were going to after the wine bar. Spending this much for only two days was already over budget for me. AITA for not paying my “share” of the bill? | AITA for not paying my share of the bill | NTA |
10yhhlo | The other day I bought my [30m] wife [29f] a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates. We don’t usually celebrate holidays or give gifts so she seemed pretty surprised. She’s been trying to eat a bit healthier recently and said I shouldn’t have bought them because she wouldn’t be able to control herself but in a light and joking manner. We had both been snacking on them over the past few days, then she told me “eat as many as you want because I don’t want to eat them all”. Well today I ate the last one and when she got home she was flabbergasted that I actually finished them. She said they were hers and I should have saved her the last one. AITA? | AITA for eating the last chocolate? | NTA |
10yjetu | I’m currently in an arguement with my partner about household chores. I work 3 x 12 midnight shifts. I do all the cooking, lunch’s for the kids, appointments, grocery shopping, meal planning, and on my days off cleaning, laundry. I wash my own clothes and my youngest child. Today when I arrived home after my 2 x 12 shift the kitchen was a mess. It usually is in some way. Now my partner helps out sometimes but leaves out the heavy chores like cleaning pots pans and leaves bowls of milk and wrappers and pop bottles for others to clean. When I’m home he typically leaves the plates on the table after dinner for me to do or my oldest. So when I woke up and see all these dishes I was upset. I went to get my child from school and came home to clean it up. Then I went and got my other child from school to come home and cook. I spent no time with my kids I only cleaned and made dinner before I had to quickly shower and return to work. While I made dinner a created a short list of chores for everyone in the house to do on my days at work to help out and make me feel less like they could care less about me. This enraged my partner to the point of him calling yelling at me and asking if this is a joke. He said I’m being a dictator and that he won’t follow any chores lists from anyone and I should appreciate the things he does do around the house. I do appreciate the things he does and I tell him that however it’s not enough if Im not saying thank you like a lot. Here is the chores list I asked if him: empty the side of the sink that air drys, wash the pots and pans on my work days and make sure the kids do their chores on my work days. I literally do not think that’s a lot to ask. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I care for people constantly at work and home. I just want some help and talking doesn’t help anymore.So AITA for creating a list for my family to help out? | AITA for creating a list of chores for my husband? | NTA |
10yhp8y | I know I'm probably not the asshole, but I want to yell in the void about this, because I still feel a little guilty. I went to the 7/11 across the street from my apartment, and on my way back, I see a guy appearing to stand on my back porch, peeking through a gap in my blinds. As I walk up he gets down, and starts looking at his phone. I ask him what's up, and he replies that he lives here. I let him know that the door he was standing in front of was my apartment. He then replies again that he lives here, and points vaguely in the direction of my bedroom. I point out that is still my apartment, and he clarifies he meant the next building over, about 20 feet from the end of the building where my bedroom is, and that he pays rent just like everyone else. I walk away, he tells me to have a blessed day, and I tell him to have one too.I'm white, he was a a Black dude. I'm going to feel bad if he is a neighbor, and thinks he has a racist neighbor that he shares a common area with. On the other hand, we have break-ins here. Hell, someone Kool-Aid Man'ed their way through a wall in an empty garage to get into mine. If a stranger is hanging on my porch peaking through my blinds, I'm asking questions. I'm not immediately calling the police, and I did not in this case, but I am asking questions about why you need to be chilling on my back door. | AITA for calling out a dude peaking in my blinds? | NTA |
10yhokd | Sorry in advance for the dissertation. I (22m), have a brother Xander (29) and a sister Olivia (30). Growing up, Xander was made the scapegoat by his peers at school. As a shy kid he never defended himself, which led to teachers believing the other kids and labelling him a problem child. As a result he was often punished for things he hadn’t done. When he eventually started to break out of his shell and speak up, the teachers didn’t believe him and our parents believed the teachers. (Something they’ve apologised for in adulthood but he still resents them for). My sister went to a different school and I was too young at the time to have his back, so he learned at a young age to defend himself because no one else would. By the time he got to high school, being hotheaded and defensive was his default setting. This has carried on into adulthood and he cannot handle conflict without shouting, insulting and threatening (though it’s rarely gotten physical). We address his overreactions with him but he always has a reason any given argument wasn’t his fault, cries, apologises and is back to the same pattern when the heat dies down. Last week we were at my parents’ and Xander and Liv got into an argument about dishes he had left in the sink. They were going back and forth, both being snarky, patronising etc but nothing major. Xander went for the jugular and the petty argument turned into a full blown fight when he said she had bigger things to worry about than a plate and to focus on her own household. For context, her husband was laid off work and they borrowed money from Xander and I so they wouldn’t lose their home. Liv started crying and her husband lost it. Now we usually don’t get involved in each other’s arguments but I felt like this time he’d gone too far. It’s embarrassing enough to have to ask your younger brothers for financial support without it being flung back in your face over dishes. Now here’s where I may be the ah. I blew up on him and said it’s not the world’s fault he had an unfair childhood and to stop taking it out on everyone. I said if we weren’t brothers we wouldn’t be friends because it’s exhausting not knowing which minor infraction is going to escalate. I said he needs to get therapy because he’s already driven away friends and potential girlfriends, and one day he’s going to look around and realise he has no one left and will end up bitter and alone. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed his stuff and left. I know it must have hurt to hear, but that’s genuinely how I feel. He isn’t answering my calls (which I’m not surprised about), but I genuinely didn’t want to hurt him, just give him a wake up call. My dad and sister agree and think it was long overdue, but my mum thinks though he was wrong, I’m an ah for saying it. I personally think that’s her guilt talking and I want to hear from a neutral party. So, AITAH? | AITA for telling my brother he’ll end up bitter and alone? | NTA |
10ygy5y | My father is in a state pchyc hospital. he has bi polar 1. he gets manic angry and asullted aneighbor, dont care why its assallt. He is being evicted for the behavior. Refuses to recognize. I ask because he has animals that even in a better state didnt care well for. I need to rehome them for them to survive. i found great could not be better placement. My father said NO i read its illegal to rehome and or send to a shelter animals that arent yours. they are property. you can be held liable for stealing and also sued for emot damage.​Should i do it anway to save pet lives? he has let birds die b4 to make a point they are his not mine. | AITA my dad in an institution, getting evicted, and wont permiss my rehoming but i will anyway | NTA |
10yfqhf | Me (15m) and my (17m) brother, Jay, have alwags been very different. Jay always perferred painting or musicals with our mum while I always perferred football and car shows with our dad. We are really close generally but he is very sensitive at times.So I’m turning sixteen in about two months. My family is admittedly well off and, though they attempt to not spoil us, my parents love going all out on birthdays. For example, Jay got a three week trip across Europe. a vintage oil paint set, and a real expensive camera for his sixteenth. So my father revealed at dinner today that I’d be receiving a car for my birthday. Specifically a beautiful 1967 Pontiac Firebird that we’ll be starting to restore next week. I’m so extremely thankful and excited since it’s been my dream car since elementary school. Sometime in my excited rant I made a teasing comment about how I would be on the road before Jay was and that maybe I could teach him how to drive. My parents chuckled at the jokes so I thought it was okay, however Jay excused himself from the table soon after.After my parents went to bed for the night, Jay decided to confront me. He started ranting about how disrespectful it was that I said something like that and how degrading it was that I was given a car prior to him as he was the oldest making him the “obviously” better son. I reminded him that he has literally never shown any interest in cars or driving and doesn’t even have a permit but he responded that it was “about the principle.” We went back and forth arguing for a bit before he called me a “better off dead daddy’s boy” to which I responded that “at least dad loves me.” He ended up storming off to his own room and I have since cooled down. Though I know the last thing I said was wrong, I think that he shouldn’t have gotten so angry over an offhand comment line that. AITA? | AITA for getting a car before my older brother did? | NTA |
10ygwhc | My partner and I have been going through some rough patches. We were on a break for a while. We didn't speak to each other for weeks. During that time, I bought tickets to a concert in the summer. It's an electronic group but they *never* come to my state, so I'm going out of town.We got back together at the beginning of the year. She's been trying to get tickets to see her favorite artist this year. She asked if I wanted a ticket, I told her no, I'm already going to a show. I told her about it , and of course, she immediately got angry. Even if we were together, I probably wouldn't have bought her a ticket because 1) she doesn't like that type of music or the group and 2) if one of their songs comes on in the car she hits me with a "*what are we listening to???!!*". When we're in the car together, I usually play something I know she can deal with, because my music tastes can be abstract as some people probably don't dig it. Shoot, sometimes I like classical in the car but she doesn't care for it.Anyway, she said she considered me for the ticket, but I didn't consider her and I'm actively trying to push her away. I asked her "do you like them?" She said "I don't know them but I might like them after the concert". Knowing her tastes, I doubt it, but I can't get her a ticket now. She's upset.TL;DR my girlfriend is mad at me for buying a concert ticket and planning a trip without her | AITA for buying a concert ticket for myself and not my partner? | NTA |
10yia4k | I (18nb) have 3 roommates (all 18F). We'll call them Anna, Izzy and Kaitlin. I also have a boyfriend (19M) who we'll call Andy. Andy is in a rough spot with his parents right now. They don't like that he is bisexual, but can't move out right now for financial reasons. Because of this, Andy and I usually hang out in my room, but as I mentioned, I have 3 roommates. And I live in a dorm, so that's 4 of us sleeping in one room. Sometimes Andy and I will do the deed in my room, but we try to make sure none of my roommates will be home soon, and if we're wrong we just stop because I don't have any more right to the space then they do, and with 4 of us it's not exactly reasonable to kick someone out for sex. When Anna and Izzy have walked in on us, they usually laugh it off, make some sort of joke and either look away so we can get dressed and hang out, or run in, grab what they came for and leave again while apologizing. Kaitlin hasn't been as. Kind. When she walked in on us, we stopped immediately. (Kaitlin hangs out in the room mostly so we figured she wouldn't be grabbing something, which is fine, like I said, 100% has a right to the space) But when Andy asked her to give him a second to get dressed, she just walked in and sat down at her desk, without even responding to him. At first I didn't think much of it (maybe she had headphones in?) But she keeps doing things that just don't feel right.A couple weeks ago me and Andy were just messing around (watching YouTube and play-shoving each other) and she turns around and goes "Can you guys wait until I leave to do that? It's weird..." I get that usually college students don't "play fight" usually but like, it's not like we're doing anything bad? Or louder than the party across the hall? It just was a very aggressive comment given that nothing *uncouth* was going on.Today was the last straw. I was very tired, so my boyfriend decided to just walk back to his car by himself and leave me in the room to get some rest. He helps me clean some stuff up, and then picks up his things and goes to kiss me goodbye. When he kisses me, Kaitlin stands up, shuts the lights off, and goes back to her desk without saying anything. It's definitely worth noting that Kaitlin. Likes having the lights off? It's kind of strange but the other three of us just let her do it and turn them on when we need them. The lights also had been off because of this until Andy and I got up to clean/pack his stuff up and we turned them on because we needed them. I don't want to make her uncomfy, but she doesn't talk to any of us and besides the one comment about play fighting, she hasn't said anything to me. Am I the asshole here?EDIT: just answering some questions people keep asking and adding some extra info that could be relevantBf is over 1-2 times a week. We have sex about twice a month in the room. (We've just been dating a while so if you add that up people walk in on us occasionally)Lights are not an issue. I find it a little annoying, but it could be a sensory thing or something so as long as I can have the lights on when I need them, I don't care if they're off.The ONLY roommate who has a problem with this is KaitlinBf does NOT live with me and never sleeps over. He leaves by 10 whenever he is over. Kaitlin is in the room most hours of the day. She usually orders food, takes mostly online classes and is never out with friends. Most of the time when my bf is here, she is here, but the other two are not. | AITA for having my bf over when I have roommates? | YTA |
10yi50u | My father passed away from his heart exploding in dec. He was up in a town he was working out of. On that day my middle sister was the only one that made it to say the goodbyes. All us other sisters could not make it in time as we all live 8+ hours away and it was a massive shock and surprise to our entire family.So as my dad had passed and all his work possessions and vehicle were up in this town he was working out of.My sister lives 3 hours away from said town and we all had decided she should keep his car and his possessions for the time being.So after 12 hours of no sleep and just loosing her father she decides to drive the car the 3 hours so she can be home.That’s where this gets fun.While she is driving said car 3 hours home after just watching our father pass and having absolutely 0 sleep, she gets in a wreck with a semi totalling our hours deceased fathers car.Here’s the kicker, she has no license and she has claimed it was her boyfriend who was driving. He was driving their truck in-front of her, as he had driven her out to say the goodbyes for us all.So she has totalled my hours passed fathers car and was begging the semi driver to say it was her boyfriend driving.She could’ve left the car at my uncles house, whom lives right next to the hospital my dad sadly passed away at, slept in her truck while her boyfriend drives, and not lie to an insurance agency.She thinks my dads insurance is going to pay out her boyfriend, as they’ve claimed he was driving.So here’s my question…….AITA for calling the insurance fraud department and tipping them off about her being the driver?I mean…. She did crash my fathers car (without a license) and claimed fraud on his insurance THE DAY HE DIED. I’m so ashamed she’s even related to me at this point and I know my father would be appalled if he were still with us.Oh and she gets his life insurance from his work as she did my fathers paperwork for him and only put herself as a beneficiary.50,000$ and a car she crashed the day he died. | AITA for telling the insurance company my sister scammed them? | NTA |
10y97x0 | In the past 3 years before this one my girlfriend (both of us 28M/F) has gotten into multiple car accidents, most were just very minor things like scraping a pillar, wall, hitting the mirror, backing into someone and one was a little more moderate when she rear ended someone and got a ticket which was the only one that went through insurance.For the past year there have been absolutely no incidents, she drives more than I do and is the one who drives us most of the time, although I have a car and drive as well. I am not scared of her driving and despite those unfortunate incidents she is a decent driver and before those 3 years never had an accident.Anyway for the past 2 years, whenever she goes for drives, I like to joke a bit and say things like, drive safe, don't hit the pole, don't scratch your car, don't dent the car, don't rear end someone etc, I switch it up every time and thought it was an inside joke. I did not know that she minded it at all as she always laughed it off.Recently though she was not too pleased after I made such a joke in front of her coworkers and said that she thought I would have realized by now that the joke is getting old. I was a little taken aback and thought it might be because she had her coworkers there but I have done that in front of her friends and our families many times.AITA for her not taking a joke? I am fine with stopping now that she asked me to but I am a little annoyed at her for suggesting that I should have known this on my own without her communicating it to me. | AITA for joking about my girlfriend's driving | YTA |
10yiu07 | The day I found out my dad died, I located his will but (stupidly) deemed it safer filed in the office than on me in my grief-stricken state.My brother and I spend the day at our dad’s calling people, etc.I lock the house that night, and bro and I agree we will come back the next day to continue our work at the house.Unbeknownst to me, SIL and bro came back that night. They got a key from a neighbour who was drunk af and they let themselves into the house under the pretense of helping to "sort" all my dad's paperwork for me.A different (trusted) neighbour saw them remove some files that night, but didn't disclose this to me until nearly 2 months later.So, when I go back to my dad's the next day to meet up as planned and find the house already sorted, I wrongly assume, for 2 months, that they came early that day to help me sort.I get a bit annoyed that they've gone and rearranged all the paperwork from where I had left it "Why did you guys come here without me? I told you to wait.”But my brother is quick to shut me down, “Drop it. You should be grateful we came early to help you." And of course, I dropped it, the voice in my head telling me I'm out of line for questioning my brother in our darkest hours.In those months, every time we would clash on something, he'd say to me, "OP, let's not fight. You're all I have left." And for a long time I didn't say anything for fear of rocking the boat and losing my last close family member.I search everywhere for the will. I turn the house upside down, scour phone and financial records, call notaries and lawyers within a 25km radius of my dad’s house, I even put up an ad in the classifieds.During all of this, bro is sending me text messages telling me to hurry and move on with the current will, and that I'm acting illegally by delaying the estate process.2 months after my dad’s death, Trusted Neighbour comes forward with information: they saw bro and SIL leave with file folders from my dad's place that night we found out he died.I take off my rose coloured glasses and begin to distance estate business from my brother’s reach.6 months pass, still no will, and I’ve exhausted all options of finding a new one. I finally ask my brother if him and SIL had anything to do with the will's disappearance.Cue the emails and texts: How dare you say such a thing! Let us take a polygraph test to prove our innocence! You are a sick... You disgust me… You should be ashamed of yourself. We never want to see or speak to you again."I ended up moving forward with the old will to keep the peace because they were harassing me a lot. But even though we are moving forward with what they want, he/they don't want anything to do with me, won't even go to therapy to talk about any of this. "Take your offer of therapy and shove it up your ass."Personally, I don't want much to do with him after this either, but I am still left wondering, AITA for asking if they took it?​Edited to Add:* I am working with a lawyer now to push through the old will* Lawyers have advised that going after the new will with no physical copy would waste what little money my dad left me on the courts/lawyers/legal system* My assumption is that whoever made the new one has a copy, but I just can't seem to find who made it. I contacted all the notaries and lawyers in his city that do wills.* The notary who made the old will has been retired for a number of years and could not have done the new one* I do not have a copy because my dad died just weeks after finalizing his will. I would have gotten in the coming weeks.* I also contacted regulatory agencies overseeing notaries and lawyers to send out memos to their members* I posted an ad in the classifiedsI did all of these things before even trying to approach the conversation with my brother. I tried every way to find it without having to ask him. | AITA? My dad's will disappeared after my SIL/bro sorted his paperwork. I asked if they took it. | NTA |
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