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10ychdb | I have a young year old son and his mother has primary custody of. I am a recovering heroin addict and I have been clean for 3 years. Because of my history, I have not been able to get joint custody mainly thanks to her not wanting to split her time with our son. My baby mother also has 2 other children whom I am not the father of.After I got clean my uncle got me a job at his company and I started making pretty decent money. Given that I only have one child to support, I’m a better financially than my sons mother. I pay way over the amount of child support I’m supposed to give her for this reason and help out where I can. I however can’t confirm it all goes to the kids and legally speaking anything extra I pay, I can’t.My son had a birthday party recently and I’ve been saving up someone money to take him to Disney World. Just a father-son trip. I set it all up in secret and went all out for the surprise. I got him a bunch of clothes with his favorite characters and in the pocket was a note saying that we were going to Disney world. I didn’t tell anyone this because I didn’t want for anyone to spoil the surprise, so everyone found out at the reveal.He was of course super excited and so was I, until his mom pulled me aside after and went off on me. She said it was extremely fucked up for me to do that. She said that I one upped her less expensive presents. She also said that unless I was planning on taking her other kids, I’m not taking our son because the others will be unhappy if he gets to go but they don’t. I said that was unfair, I already planned out and paid and it’d be messed up to rescind this after our son already knows he’s supposed to go. His mom and I argued about it for the rest of the time I was there. She told me I ruined his party and that I never should’ve came. I told her that I wouldn’t tell my son that he’s not going to go to Disney because I believed it wasn’t my fault. AITA? | AITA for “one upping” my sons mother with a Disney trip for his birthday? | ESH |
10y8nvc | Title sounds really bad, can’t change that. But it’s more along the lines of AITA for not taking care of Ty after my sister (a part time caretaker) got homeI (20Nb) was in my room relaxing with my boyfriend and Hades, when my mom called because she completely forgot she had to take my Mimaw to an appointment. She called and asked me to stay home until my sister Lex(31) got home from work. **My oldest brother Ty(34) is mentally and physically disabled, my mom is his full time caretaker and is paid by the state and Lex in the last couple years became a part time caretaker (as in there are timesheets and she gets paid) and Ty is never left home alone** Ok, yeah, I can stay home, BF and I can wait to go to the grocery store. Mom had called at about 2:30, Lex typically gets home not long after that. BF wanted food so we ordered and went to the main floor (my room is in the basement) to wait and eat. A bit after food arrived Lex got home, so 3:15-3:20ish. We finished eating and Lex said « Before you go back down, Ty has been screaming » he hadn’t been before she got home, and even if he had I’d check on him, but sometimes he just yells. So I said ok, mom just asked me to stay until you got home. She gave me a weird angry laugh and when I went back to my room with BF she slammed the basement door shut. I feel like I am kind of an Ahole, but at the same time I’ve repeatedly expressed over the years that I am not comfortable with the responsibility of taking care of him, I am not mentally or physically capable, as well as I lose track of time and get too easily distracted to properly and consistently remember to check in on him. Mentally due to sensory issues and many other things, physically because I am not strong enough and struggle to lift and move Ty. I did what my mom asked and stayed home. She did not specifically say to go and take care of Ty. If you don’t specify certain things or give me instructions I won’t know that it was just supposed to be part of the task. I feel bad but also annoyed because it’s not my job and not my fault that it wasn’t specifically communicated to me to do.Edited for clarity and additional info*I did check up on him and he’d been fine and there were no emergencies. I wasn’t neglecting or ignoring him.text from my mom **By the way today was so last minute so I am not the least bit surprised that it was not clear that I was asking you to also take care of Ty** | AITA for not taking care of my disabled brother when my mom left to take my grandmother to an oncology appointment? | YTA |
10yhqxk | I’m 29 (F) and recently moved to SC with my fiancé. We have been together over a decade now and have grown up in Maryland our entire lives. We decided it was time to move. We don’t have children yet, but one day. We plan to get married soon. My mom has not let up on me about how “selfish” I am for “leaving my family”. (I’ve been gone 6 months and already have been home twice). Side note: my moms husband (my stepdad) is abusive and an alcoholic and made the ages of 19-26 pretty unbearable for me and my brother. I won’t get into the details. Retraining orders were involved. Issues have been “resolved” and my brother and I are cordial with my stepdad. My father passed shortly before my mom and stepdad got together. I explained to my mom that I’m much happier here and didn’t want to live the rest of my life in the town I went to high school in. I told her we are actually looking at NC and VA in the next year I’m an effort to be closer to home so it’s easier to make weekend trips. Still, she said “what’s 5 hours compared to 8…” AITA for making decisions that make me happy? | AITA for moving from MD to SC | NTA |
10ye0fz | I (34F) am loosely helping a friend to plan and throw a party for her son who’s turning 4 this weekend.While I love my friend and her son and her family who have always made me feel welcome, I really dislike her husband and his family, to the point where they’ve made me so uncomfortable in the past that I’d prefer to never see them again. They’ve made racist and classist comments towards me regarding my hair (I’m black with short natural hair) and my job (they couldn’t believe i spoke so “well” and had a director level job in marketing). They also speak so horribly about anyone they deem below them and treat others like literal dirt. It’s appalling. My friend also dislikes them and can’t believe how awful they are, and is having trouble with her husband, so I try to be there for her for moral support, but I think I’m done. She chose to marry him and that family, and though I’ve known her longer than them all, I may have to tell her I’m done attending any events his parents plan to also attend. WIBTA if i told her this and also skipped the party this weekend? I can still help her set up and bake the day before so I’ll get to see her and her son, but I can’t interact with that. family. This is my first time posting here so please let me know if more info is needed! | WIBTA if I backed out of my friend’s son’s birthday party? | NTA |
10y8pmx | I (19f) have a dad who has played golf every Saturday for at least the last 25 years. He goes almost every weekend and sometimes in the weekdays after work. Myself, my mum and my sister (17f) have to work our schedules around him, for example: I’m going to have to get 3 trains (a 3 hour journey) to come home from university and look after the dog while my mum and sister go to some appointment in the day as my dad refuses to take a day off from golf and obviously the dog can’t be left alone all day. We’ve all kind of made comments about it to make sure he’s aware that it’s really inconvenient but for the most part it’s fine as my mum and sister are usually not out for long periods of time often. The issue is that I started university this year and he has yet to come and visit me in my flat. He hasn’t made any effort to come and see me and it’s really hurt me because I feel like I’m not important enough for him to cancel his golf for one week. He won’t come on Sundays because he has work the next day and doesn’t want to do a long drive on the Sunday which I understand and he has work in the week so the only realistic day he could come is Saturday. But of course he won’t cancel his golf for me. Tonight he made a comment basically blaming me for him not visiting because the one time he didn’t have work on Monday and planned to visit me on the Sunday i was already at home instead of being at uni. So I replied that he could cancel his golf this Saturday which is when I’m planning to go back and he got annoyed so I asked “is golf more important than your daughter?” and he just stared at me then tried to guilt trip me and say that he works hard in the week and wants to be able to relax at the weekend by playing golf and not spend it driving for hours. He’s made me feel like I was in the wrong for asking about it but I think it’s reasonable? I just need some more opinions. I guess I understand not wanting to drive so far but it’s just that he hasn’t visited once and it’s been 6 months. AITA? | AITA for asking my dad to prioritise me over his golf? | NTA |
10ygniq | This situation happened earlier today and I can’t go to sleep because of it. So basically I was in history class and I was with my friends working on a project and these group of girls who are friends with my one friend (I’ll call her Max) started talking shit about Max with my friends. I was trying not to get involved or overhear anything but they kept rambling on about how much they hated Max. One of the girls talked about Max’s ADHD and how she takes adderall and how she was trying to sell her pills. I thought that was inappropriate to be sharing out since that is personally information. Apparently Max also gave her an alcohol addiction? I didn’t know about this so I was pretty confused.I do know the girl who was spreading these rumors had a crush on a guy and my friend Max started dating him so there was a little tension between them.They continued talking shit and this one girl asked “aren’t you also friends with Max? Or are you just pretending to like her?” I explained that I was friends with her. Here’s the thing, I promised her “friends” I wouldn’t tell her that they were talking shit.Fast forward and I’m in math class and I tell my friend Max that they were talking shit about her in history class. She got super mad and confronted her over text. These girls who were spreading rumors are now mad at me for sharing this to her. I didn’t mean to start drama I had my friend max promise she wont say anything. I thought she had the right to know though.So AITA for starting this drama? | AITA for telling my friend her other friends were talking shit behind her back | NTA |
10yihy0 | To give some background, I am an interior-designer and my husband is a lawyer. With that knowledge in tow, my husband, since before our marriage, had owned this old-recliner. Upon asking, he said that he picked it up in-college off the side of the roadAs such, when we were designing our new house, my husband brought the thing and placed it in our living room. Now you have to understand this things was at minimum a decade old (perhaps even two). It stunk of beer/garbage and it looked horrible in the living-room. I tried to design the room in a way that would make it fit but the thing still looked awful in it. Whenever we had guests over they all would comment on how bad the thing looks.Needless to say, I started trying to convince my husband that it needed to go, but he insisted that he wanted it to stay. So one day, when he was at his work, I came and threw the thing out. In its stead, I bought a new recliner. Now I know my husband works super hard everyday so I bought the best one I could to surprise him.When he came back he was extremely sad. He liked his old recliner, and though he isn't mad, I keep remembering his face when he walked in through the door. I feel awful.AITA?**First Edit (Clarification):**\- When I asked him why it was so important. He said "I've had it for so long now".\- I tried to get it professionally cleaned, and it still smelled horrible. They said it was the best they could do.\- While we don't have a basement (we live in California), in hindsight, I could have moved it to the garage.\- As for out guests: the one thing that served as the tipping point, was the wife of a colleague of his had come-over and she had started sneering at me for having this thing in the living-room. It just tipped me over the top.**Second Edit:**\- I am very very sorry. I seriously just didn't want a couch that would stink up the house. I seriously didn't mean to hurt him. I love him. How do I fix this, I can call the people who I gave the couch away to.**Third Edit:**\- Y'all really make a mountain out of a mole hill. This is said husband. It's fine, it's a couch. Stop making my wife cry. | AITA for throwing-out my husband's recliner out of the house? | YTA |
10ye69g | Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend he can't watch videos when we are supposed to be going to sleep? My boyfriend(29M) and I(28F) have been together a little over two years. I am an extremely light sleeper and have a really hard time going to sleep. It has to be pitch black and kind of quiet (white noise is okay). If there is even a small bit of light, I can't sleep until I find the source and cover it. I know it's a lot to ask for, and I might sound a little crazy. I've really held back when my boyfriend would come to bed and immediately watch videos on the Clock app or Book ofFacess app. It would bother me because I mean, we are in bed to go to sleep. Watching videos makes it difficult to do that.I try to go to bed before him because if I'm already asleep, he won't watch videos. I've politely asked before that no videos after 11:30pm, but then I pushed it back to midnight, then 12:30 am. because he would always say just a few more minutes. He has since disregarded my request, so I've recently gotten short with him and told him to put his phone away so I can sleep. He resorted with no or "Can't even do what I want in my own bed" while making his away to the couch. Am I being unreasonable? I dont understand what's so unfair about my request. Am I the asshole? If so, how should I resolve this? | AITA For Telling My Boyfriend He Can't Watch Videos in Bed? | NTA |
10yjcx5 | I (19F) and my best friend (20M) let’s call him mark, me and mark have known each other for about 2 years, when me and him first met i was more shy around people and in a bad state of depression, now I’m more confident and happier than before. I started dating his brother a few months ago (19M) and that’s when he started getting a little cold to me.He always vents about his girlfriend but still doesn’t listen to me when i try to give actual advice, recently he called me saying “hey we have to talk, i don’t like how your acting and i miss how you used and how our relationship was, can you try to act like how you used to be again? I miss you.”I got mad and upset because before i was miserable and too childish even for me, and he wants me to go back to how i was.I agreed because i was already too upset to argue but a few weeks later he mentioned it again and asked ME to try harder to do it.I started yelling at him saying how i shouldn’t have to change myself just to be his entertainment and people actually like me how i am now, he hasn’t spoken to me since and I’m not sure i did the right thing AITA? | AITA for yelling at my best friend? | NTA |
10y8hb4 | I want to start by kindly reminding everyone that this is not a debate sub.I (23f) am a practicing Christian with a degree in Biblical Studies. My friend Beth (22f) is preparing for her grandfather's death. Her grandfather is a practicing Christian and is gay. He is expected to die by the end of this month. The family is making most funeral arrangements early because he wants to help and approve of some things himself.Beth invited me over to help. She is putting together picture boards and I am helping her decorate them. Her other friend Katie (who I have never met) came over for support. From my understanding, Katie is Catholic.Beth began crying, saying she doesn't know if her grandfather will go to Heaven because he is gay. Katie flat out said he wouldn't because being gay is unforgiveable. My jaw dropped. I pointed out that the Bible does ***not*** say that being gay, bi, trans, etc. is unforgivable. I calmly shared some scriptures with Beth to make my point. I ended by suggesting that she share her fear with the priest who will be giving the eulogy. He has been visiting the family every couple of days to pray with them, talk to the grandfather, etc. We finished the picture boards and left. By the time I got home, Katie had found my Instagram and sent me a long message saying that I was an AH for putting the spotlight on my beliefs and education while "ignoring" Beth's feelings. I have not responded to Katie (I don't plan to) but I thought back and can recognize that Beth had become quiet and had physically created more space between us in how we were seated in the room. I texted Beth and asked if she felt hurt by my response but she has left me on read, which is not like her. Granted, I know she is very busy, exhausted, and grieving.AITA for how I approached this given the delicacy of the situation, and AITA for not responding to Katie? | AITA for Sharing my Religious Beliefs in this Way? | NTA |
10yh0a5 | writing on my phone at 2am, sorry if it looks a bit messyi (f19) used to play guitar and sing during my entire childhood. ever since i was a kid i knew i wanted to do music for a living, thing that my parents hated and always made sure to tell me it was a waste of time. that made me really self conscious about it and slowly stopped doing it in the house, then stopped completely. when i was 17 i asked my parents for their support to apply for a full scholarship to a music program oversea and long story short, they hated it and told all kind of bad stuff. i gave up on music because everything related to it was extremely painful, to the point where i couldn't listen to music for months. now 2 years after that, my sister (14f) has been showing interest in playing the guitar and my parents asked me to give her my old one. ive been wanting to return to play and sing for a couple of months, but never had the courage to do it; and now that they are encouraging her to do something they "bullied" me into giving up makes me angry and sad at the same time. now i want to play again because i saw it as my last chance to do it. i can lend my sister the guitar from time to time, but i won't gift it to her and i will decide if she can uses it or no (i bought it with my own money when i was 12, if that makes any change)i don't want anyone to think that i want to do it now because im being selfish or jealous, but i don't want to explain the whole situation either bc that topic always ends in a fight and it still is very painful to me, so AITA? | AITA for wanting to start playing guitar at the same time that my sister? | NTA |
10ycgxz | My (32F) bachelorette party is this weekend. My MOH had done an amazing job of organising a wonderful weekend away with my friends, been flexible about attendees only making it to part of the weekend, having to work for a couple of hours, and understanding about budgets. Frankly, she has done a miracle to coordinate this all. For the weekend, we're staying in a remote cottage in a dark sky area, as I'm an avid stargazer and it's one of the activities. My sister (38F) is a single mom to a toddler (3M). They've spent only one night apart in his entire life and she still cosleeps. She has a live-in nanny. My MOH has been organising this weekend since last September, so this is not a surprise to anyone. However, the day before everyone is supposed to arrive, she is messaging my MOH asking if the nanny can stay in the house with us in her place, and she will stay with my nephew in a hotel for the night that she will be joining us (she decided last minute that she is not coming for the full weekend). In fact, she will only be joining us from around 11am-4pm for a single day, as after that she needs to do bedtime. If he's asleep fast enough, she might be able to join us during dinner that night. That's when she suggested the nanny take her place sharing a room with one of my friends. Initially, she was angling to have my nephew stay at the house but my MOH was very firm that it would be completely inappropriate. I don't think it's fair to the nanny to stay with a house full of strangers celebrating an event she's not part of, and I don't think it's fair to my friend to share with a stranger that she doesn't know. My MOH offered weeks ago to help my sister find appropriate accommodation in the area, but my sister declined the help. If she refuses to accept that she needs to get her nanny different accommodation, WIBTA to tell her that she doesn't have to come at all? This is not the first time that she's made an event all about her and her son's needs and I'm getting very tired of the lack of consideration towards others and the self-centredness. | WIBTA for uninviting my sister from my bachelorette party? | NTA |
10ygkm2 | I (34 F) am the MOH for my bestie (36 F). It's been a few weeks of back and forth re: the bridesmaids dresses. I am more conservative than the 9 other girls and it shows in the way that I dress. I am a bigger girl and have more curves both top and bottom. The other girls are taller and more slender. I do not wear strapless or spaghetti strap dresses. I do not wear tops with Racer back or halter tops. I do not wear short dresses that are high above my knee nor do I wear incredibly tight dresses. No low low low cut jeans or crop tops. This was the way I was raised and the way I am most comfortable. I do not ask anybody else to dress differently around me. But I am not comfortable wearing what would be considered 'club clothes'.Bestie would like all the girls to wear these Strapless or Spaghetti strap dresses. They have sweetheart necklines and a low back. (Low to me, anyway) I have no issue with colors or materials or lengths. But the neckline is very uncomfortable for me along with my back being bare.Bestie has a vision (as she should) and wants it executed her way. Completely understood. But I am not comfortable. I have asked that as MOH, I have a different neckline to be different and it was refused. Same with wearing my hair down to cover my back or wearing a shawl or shrug of some kind, raising the neckline or adding a modesty panel were all shot down. I'm constantly being told that I am overthinking it, the neckline is not too low, it's not too revealing, etc. I just telling her that this option is not a good look on me. FYI: I tried on several different versions of these while 'just looking' and was immediately put off by how I looked and felt in them.I am at a loss at what to do. I'm getting to the point where the only option will be for me to back out as maid of honor and let someone else take the job. Her wedding is in about 8 months so I wouldn't be leaving her in the lurch or anything. But I'm getting tired of fighting this every time that I speak with her and I don't want to shell out hundreds of dollars to wear a dress I don't like or feel comfy in, apong with paying for hair makeup, and accessories.WIBTA for not being MOH over a dress that I will never wear again? | WIBTA if I back out of being my bestie's MOH over a dress? | NTA |
10yb773 | I (white-23F) have been dating my fiancé (black-24M)(Race is relevant)Growing up my parents never really wanted me to date anyone who wasn't White, I have two older siblings and both of them happily got married in their twenties, my parents have no issue with their significant other, only mine.They try to say that he acts like a gangster, uses slang, and dresses like he's 'a criminal' but I know they are like this because he's blackNow the reason they didn't like him at first with my understanding was that he got me pregnant at 20 (We weren't dating at the time it was just a hookup)But my parents were completely fine with me having a child until they met the father.My now fiance was super nice about the situation, he said that even if i didn't wana get married or anything he would still pay child support and extra of anything for whatever I needed for his baby, but we both decided it would be better to try to talk and see if we were compatibleWe were. We definitely wereI started distancing myself from my family because they were so rude to him, however he didn't want me to do that, he really wanted them to come aroundHe was invited to Thanksgiving and he was super excited, like I mean he almost criedI lost it halfway through when my mother said she hopes I don't marry a 'gangster like him' and that 'you don't see a Bluejay fucking a pigeon' IN FRONT OF MY FIANCE AND THREE YEAR OLDI completely lost it at her and my dad and almost everyone in the room that was related to me except my childI said many hurtful things and we stormed out, my fiance still thinks that if I apologize maybe we could work this out, but I'm tired of them treating him like this and him just being okay with itEveryone is saying I'm in the wrong AITA? | AITA for yelling at my parents? | NTA |
10yb6qt | My best friend constantly says he’s right when we both know that he is not. It was funny at first because he would not admit he was wrong over the most unimportant things. However, lately I have been getting annoyed because every small amount of normal bickering, he insists hes right. In class whenever the teacher asks a question, he whispers the answer and when hes right he shakes me and says “i was right”. whenever i argue that it really doesnt matter bc hes afraid to say it out-loud and be wrong or tell him to stop he says “but i was right.” I was telling him something today but would not back down on his obviously wrong argument. Twice today. It was making me pissed so i said shut up and gave him the cold shoulder and he looked mad afterwards (though im not good at reading people). Hes kind but sometimes he gets on my nerves. Idk maybe im just tired and cranky so i was thinking about making him a gift bag to apologize but idk if that will teach him anything. | AITA for shutting down my best friend with a slight god complex? | NTA |
10yhd0t | So I (22f) live with my Dad to help him out with rent, one of my friends (22f) who I’ve known since preschool has moved in too as she needed a place to crash with cheap rent - we’ll call her Lola to keep it anonymous. Lola and I have a bumpy friendship, we always have each others back even when we’ve stopped being friends in the past - we also tend to smoke a bit of weed together. We stopped being friends for a while and when we got back in touch I found out she was pregnant, she was still smoking but told me the midwives told her to keep smoking weed, because quitting mid pregnancy would be bad for the baby. I thought that was fair enough and let her smoke with me at home, though I encouraged her to smoke less. Fast forward a year after Lola has given birth, she loses custody of her daughter and has to complete drug screens. Now for the present, Lola has another baby on the way to a new boyfriend she’s known for less than 6 months, Lola is still smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, drinking 500ml energy drinks daily, she sits at home or goes out with her friends to smoke. I have provided Lola with a laptop to watch Netflix, clothes, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, bath bombs, etc, I let her use whatever she wanted or needed to. She used all of my shampoo and conditioner, all of the body wash, she told me I gave her the body wash to keep when I didn’t. She ordered a new body wash and doesn’t let me use it. I bought new shampoo/conditioner which Lola was using without asking, I got frustrated and took my hair products + bath products out of the bathroom in hopes she would go and buy some of her own stuff. Lola asked the next day if I had any spare shampoo/conditioner and I told her no but there’s a hair mask you can use, she assured me she would go shopping but didn’t. When Lola first moved in she washed the dishes twice while my dad and I were at work, we appreciated it and expressed that to her. In the last few months, she’s only been washing her own dishes and won’t put dishes away either. My dad and I do the dishes on our days off work, the last thing we want is to do housework when we get home after working all day. I have also stopped smoking recently and decided to take everything out of the smoking area - all she does is sit at home and get high so if she wants to smoke she’ll need to find a way to do it herself. I can’t support her smoking while pregnant anymore which means not giving her a comfy area to do so.tldr: I let my friend move in, she sits at home getting high despite being pregnant and does nothing while my dad and I go to work. I’ve stopped providing her with a smoking area and won’t let her use my bathing products unless she contributes around the house. | AITA for not supporting my friend anymore? | NTA |
10yf17j | So I moved out for the first time and I'm living with a girl I know. When I moved in she had already been living there for 3 years. It's a small place, and I agreed to move into the smaller bedroom, leaving me with literally only enough room for my bed and a mirror, while hers had plenty of space for shelving, dressers, a fridge, and a walk in closet. Upon moving in she discouraged me from unpacking my belongings and furniture, insisting that I could share all of her things instead. She is (by her own admission) a huge control freak who doesn't let others make decisions, and the house was already cluttered and full of her own belongings. I grew up in a home that was absolutely pristine at all times, no matter what. She is a VERY unorganized person. Dishes in the sink or left on tables for days, bags of miscellaneous things piled in walkways, furniture inconveniently placed too close to walk by, and strange tacky trinkets covering every surface. She's super into witchcraft, oddities, and antiques, with entire bookshelves filled with jars of dried herbs, skulls, and family photos. She also insisted on leaving several full sized human skeleton halloween props next to the living room couch year round which really creeped me out.She suffers from a lot of mental illness, including extreme paranoia. She believes people are watching us through the windows at night so she covered all the windows with peel and stick coverings. I get pretty depressed unless I can look outside and get lots of sunlight during the days. Finally she leaves for a month long vacation and after a few days I can't stand staring at all her things, so I spend 2 days deep cleaning the entire house top to bottom. I scrubbed the baseboards, sanitized every surface, vacuumed, mopped, sorted, and rearranged every cabinet or storage spot in the house. I even washed all of the pillows, blankets, and seating. Most importantly though, I took down the window stickers, put the skeletons and halloween decor in storage, cleared all her candles books and clutter off of the surfaces I encountered, rolled up the rugs I thought were ugly and set all her grocery bags of unknown clutter outside her bedroom door. I did genuinely plan to put everything back before she would be home and figured she'll never know. Aaaand then she came home early, one day when I was gone. She called me panicking and cussed me out, saying I had violated her trust and disrespected her. She was livid and didn't even let me speak. I came home to all of my few belongings thrown in a pile and notes all over telling me I couldn't touch any of the things she had been letting me use and that she would be getting rid of anything she had given me. I feel like this wouldn't have happened in the first place if she had given me a say in the decorating, but she always veto'd my suggestions claiming there wasn't enough room for my things or that my ideas didn't match her style. AITA? | AITA for moving my roommates stuff | ESH |
10yes0g | Ok so I have a fest in my college on the first weekend of March and my long-distance girlfriend wants me to come over on that particular weekend. I could come a weekend later or prior but she wants me to come on that specific weekend. She wants me to "choose" between a fest and her. Of course, I would choose her but if I can meet her a week prior or later and attend the fest then why not ? I tried to explain this to her but she says she is feeling like she is begging for my attention. | AITA for not meeting my long-distance girlfriend for a specific weekend? | NTA |
10yfn1e | My (39 M) roommate and best friend Horace (40 M) used to play D&D with a friend Claus (40 M) that we have known since grade school. When he learned that we were playing D&D regularly, he showed interest in joining us. So, we made room for him at the table so he could enjoy our games with us.Sadly, problems began to show themselves pretty quickly. Firstly, he seemed to have no grasp for the rules and mechanics. He never seemed to remember how to roll to hit or what to roll for damage. Never mind the idea of casting spells. Casting one spell would often take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. I understand that it takes time to learn a TTRPG system, but that brings about the second problem. He never really wanted to learn and would make constant excuses for why he couldn't remember. Even after we took the time to help him find solutions in the form of taking notes and going over the rules in the books as well as our own homebrew rules, that started bringing up the next issue. The complaints. He complained that he never did well in combat. He complained that he didn't do well in social scenarios. He complained that he didn't know how to improve. This was despite that we never kept any secrets from him. We tried to teach him what kinds of things we were doing to get stringer and how to speak in the RP section of the TTRPG. But it never really stuck.All of this was compounded by the most major issue. He would often be playing on his phone, his laptop, or his Nintendo Switch because, in his words, he needed to be doing something with his hands to help him pay attention. This is a good time to bring up that he has Asperger's Syndrome. It was with this in mind that we attempted to help him by finding other things that fulfilled his ideas while still helping with the game. Like taking notes or drawing up maps. It worked for a time, but he eventually fell back into his bad habits. There were times that he even showed up and then fell asleep midgame!We tried hard for ten years. **Ten years.** To keep him included. But neither Horace or I could justify the constant disrespect and so we stopped playing D&D with him. We didn't stop inviting him to hang out with us, we just stopped suggesting D&D.The reason I am bringing this up is because I have been planning to start a new game and that brought all of this back up and I am wondering if I didn't do enough to help him out in getting into the game.Good people of Reddit, AITA? | AITA For No Longer Playing D&D With a Friend? | NTA |
10yhsqz | My girlfriend, me, and two of her friends that I now consider friends spontaneously went out to eat. My gf has strict parents and told her she must be home, so she left and I offered to take our two friends home. One of them asked if we could spontaneously just go on a long drive and talk about some kind of deep shit, since they are both struggling mentally. I of course said yes, and after a while I took them home. When I got home, my gf wrote me an essay about how she’s mad at me. She said she was hurt I went out without telling her. She checked our life 360 to see if I was home yet, and saw I was still out. She told me how she constantly feels left out because of her strict parents not letting her go out, and was upset how me and her best friend could do this to her. She even said “I’m not trying to be controlling.” I responded by saying to her that I was hanging out with some friends and that we needed to talk about mental stuff, and accused me of invalidating her feelings. I told her she is being controlling. She’s gotten upset with me before for hanging out with friends. The whole thing was blown out of proportion in my mind, but it was really disturbing how mad she got about me spontaneously hanging with friends even though we left out a friend who lives somewhat far away and some of our other friends. AITA ? | AITA For this argument I had with my gf? | NTA |
10yj78s | My (28F) bf (30M) recently got a new leadership job that requires him to spend two hours driving every day. His work schedule is 9.30-16.00. Before he took the job, I said that I’ll make dinners for us because he’ll be home at 17.00 and I’ll be home around 16.00-17.00. The thing is, since then I got a new part time job on top of my normal job that will last for a half year or so, and I get home at 19.00 and do work at night as well. Also, currently there are a lot of office issues that bothers me and I spend a lot of time thinking and stressing. Usually, my bf and I try to make dinner together. But after he got his new job, he’s been increasingly asking me what we’ll have for dinner. He wakes up at 7.30 and gets back from work at 17.00. When he gets back home from work, he just games until he sleeps. Weekdays and weekend. I leave at 8-8.30 and gets back usually between 18-19.30. The other day I got home at 19.00, my bf asked me what we’re having for dinner. I asked him in disbelief if he expects me to make him dinner even when I get home late, and he said yes or he’ll order takeaway. Honestly, I get stressed out thinking that I have to get home to make dinner for or with him every day now that my career is so hectic. I kind of just expects him to take care of himself and me of myself when I work late. I don’t do a lot of house chores, but he has a lot more time to kill than me. After I snapped at him for having unreasonable expectations of me, he said that he wouldn’t have taken the job if I didn’t “promise” him I’d take more of a housewife role. And that he will not be making dinners anymore. I only have like 3 hours every day to spare at night, and I’m annoyed that he can’t accommodate the current situation.TLDR: bf got a new job and doesn’t want to cook anymore because I “promised” him I’d be more of a housewife. AITA for not wanting to cook for him when I work 2 jobs and get home late for the time being? Edited for grammar correction. | AITA for not making dinner? Career vs. dinners. | NTA |
10yd03w | I (27m) have a girlfriend (26f) we’ve been together since high school, we broke up in college since we went to two different colleges but then got back together after we graduated. Growing up I was always on the bigger side, and I was bigger than most kids my age. It gotten so bad to the point where I was almost 500 pounds and that’s went I realized that it was time for me to start losing weight. Around two-three years ago I started losing weight, I started eating better and exercising more and my girlfriend was a big help with it all. My girlfriend was the polar opposite of me, she was always on the slimmer side. She always ate a lot of junk food and what not but because she played a lot of sports the food never really affected her. She didn’t really start to gain weight until college, she still ate the same the only difference was she stopped playing sports and she got more lazier. When we broke up my girlfriend was at around 125 pounds and when we got back together she was at around 246. I never said anything cause I didn’t really care big or small I still loved my girlfriend because she was the apple of my life and I thought she looked even better since she gained weight it really complimented her shape. Now back to the problem at hand ever since I started dieting and exercising more my eating habits have changed a whole lot. I eat better and I go to gym and get a bit of a five hour workout. I’m at 250 and I’m getting more muscle than fat now. My girlfriend is at around 350-360 and she has gotten lazier and eating more and more. I would ask her some times if she would like to join she at the gym but she would turn it into an argument and say that I’m calling her fat. Now don’t get me wrong I’m still deeply in love with my girlfriend and I plan to propose to her very soon, but I feel as though if she doesn’t change her eating habits she will soon get to where I was or even worse. I sat her down yesterday and explained my concerns, and she got upset and asked me if I wanted her to be skinny like the other girls. I told her no and that I just wanted her to eat healthier and explained that her body size was never the issue it was just the way she sat around and ate junk food and how it just processed and build up. She’s now mad at me and hasn’t spoken to me since then. She sleeping in the guest room and she hasn’t came out. AITA? If so please give me tips on a better way to approach this or if I should just leave it alone all together. | AITA for wanting to girlfriend to lose weight | NTA |
10yhb4m | Went to a restaurant went to the sed robster and wanted to order an appetizer. Asked the server does this have cilantro or chipolte he said no I don't think so I asked him to check he did not and brought is anyway well all the green stuff all over the plate is cilantro and he had to put t on after it came through the hatch from the kitchen I sad again that cilantro made everything taste like dirty dishwater. He said oh well it is parsley I said yeah sure it is. tasted it and dirty dishwater. I asked for one with out garnish then he said well I have to charge for both. I then said I want your manager. he rolled his eyes and got the manager explained again about my weird taste buds and she got me another one and then took it completely off the bill. Server still wanted to put cilantro on everything and the manager interceded and finally just took over our table. The server shot me dirty looks all night. but am I the asshole here. I just don't want food to taste like dirty dishwater. | AITA if told you Cilantro and Chipolte taste like dirty dishwater and you served it anyway? | NTA |
10ydif4 | I fucked up. It was me. It doesn't matter that I wasn't in control. It doesn't matter if I don't remember. I'm still responsible for myself. I dropped the ball at work due to mental illness and alcohol abuse.​I don't know how much they know, but I know that I'm not scheduled next week. I'm sure the cameras saw it all. (NOTE: Nothing technically illegal happen; Just deeply frown upon.) I messaged my boss and let him know that I understood. It was my responsibility. It was important to me, even if it didn't seem like it. I'm embarrassed. I fucked up. I sent several messages to him apologizing. I insisted that if there was a money discrepancy that I would pay it, of course. I quit my job.​He still wants me to come in and speak with him. I'm not in trouble and he's not mad, at least he says. He tells me there is no money owed. Everything is accounted for. We never agreed to meet, but he began to call me over and over, messaging me again and again when I didn't respond to him fast enough. I also "missed our talk."​I'm dealing with a lot right now, not only with mental illness. I really don't want to go into a job I don't work at anymore to explain that I'm crazy. I don't want to work their anymore. I know my bridge is burned. I just want to be done with this chapter. I quit. He tells me that "I owe him." I feel as if I owe nothing. Literally considering I don't owe money and you've shown me I'm not needed, my resigning seems to be accepted. Can't we all just move on?​WIBTA If I just blocked him. His phone habits are starting to bring me anxiety. I want start my next chapter.​​INFO: I was the manager and I dropped the ball on almost all of my most important duties. When I'm manic I feel the need to hide things so I hid things in the main office from others. I pulled an all nighter there even though I shouldn't have been there throughout the night. I'm sure I was caught on camera walking around in the dark, talking to myself, I crushed up all the money and important paperwork and put in back in the cabinets, laid on the floors for long periods of time. General crazy person stuff. Also things I don't even remember. Everything has been corrected, nothing technically illegal (I guess maybe trespassing), I'm just dumb. | WIBTA If I blocked my ex boss after quitting due to a manic episode? | NTA |
10ygq1k | We've been together for 3 years and I've always had difficulty making friends. Last year he had introduced me to some of his friends that I have grown close too however he grew distant from that group and gained new friends. This is my first friend group in 4/5 years that I genuinely feel connected and accepted into. Recently he has been pushing more to reconnect to the group of friends but he says it just to be with me more, then he changes it to that he knew them first. He has his own group of friends he hangs out with near to daily and easily gains new friends. I cannot go with them because we are long distance. it's very rare for me to go out with a friend in person because I only have 1 friend irl willing to go out with me which is less than 3 times a year. I brought up I do not like him randomly rejoin into the friend group that I was accepted into because he has his own he can actively do things with. He just told me that he had known them first and acted as if I didn't want to be with him at all.When I explained that I did want to be with him I just wanted a friend group to make memories with myself because I missed out on my teenage years, he had told me that I never want memories with him which is completely untrue. It has become a sensitive subject now and I leave the group at times when he speaks to them because I feel annoyed or just uncomfortable that he's on my belt but also ignored. He over thinks a lot and when I speak with my friends or agree to match/do things/tell them something first he gets upset. Even when they don't answer him and answer me instead or someone else he gets upset and says he's left out when he wasn't or was on a completely different topic than everyone else. I understand why he does this but I feel trapped in a box having to watch what I say constantly because of him and seeing him talk to my friends while being out with his friend hurts me. I often wonder "are his friends not good enough and that's why he's pushing so hard to rejoin the group?" But oftentimes that's shot down when I seeing all the pictures with him and his friends all having fun together. I always envy these because the last picture I had taken with a friend was early last year which was only 2 pictures. Am I the asshole?To clarify something, I am in a predicament where I am not able to go and make friends in person unless I knew them prior which again is only one of them. I'm not saying the reason for privacy reasons but that contributes to it and the situation that causes that is out of my control. He knows of this situation and knows he has a more free life than I do but continues. | AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to be friends with my friends? | NTA |
10y9qw2 | Hello everyone. I am a total mess rn but i really do need some advice on this. I am so so sorry but this is going to be a little long.It all started like half a year ago. Me and my boyfriend have a sweet little cat and she lives her best live here. However, i always felt she was a little lonely when we were away all day to work, so we decided a second cat would be amazing for her so she could have some social time even while we were away. Low and behold we had the opportunity to adopt a baby cat, which we both happily accepted. We had planned everything, had bought food, scratching posts, cat toilets and so on. It has started two days ago. I have been SO excited for the whole wait until the day we can bring home our little kitten, which is tomorrow. I have been speaking about nothing else to everyone, including him. He was seemingly excited too, finally being able to bring the kitty home tomorrow and being a happy little family.Two days ago he broke the news to me. Tomorrow, the day we are adopting the kitty, he will go out drinking. I don‘t even know with who, but he will be driven to work, will be driven to someone to drink and then driven back home at night. The whole thing has been planned two. days. ago.I have been planning our kitten adoption for literally three months. I reminded him every day not to make plans. But he made plans. I ask him to cancel or move the plans, but he just tells me to move the kitten adoption. He said: „well they invited me and i just said yes“. I told him that this really hurts me, and that i feel he doesn’t take seriously how important that is to me. He just proceeded to tell me basically that i never do anything important to him and that i am in the wrong for being upset. This made me even more upset i must admit. I wanted to end this in a nice way so i decided to push, remind him that he does do so many things for me but also softly trying to remind him what i also do for him on the daily. I tried to explain that this is genuinely one of the most important events to me, however he did not want to listen and threw a lot of negatives at me. I NEED to mention that i am not perfect in either way. At this point the relationship might just be way too broken already. I have a lot of (mental) issues, i break down easily and get irritated easily. I often say that i cannot do a specific thing for him simply because i cannot bring up the energy to stand up. I skip out on family events a bit (i try to go every time i can bit it is really hard for me) and i admit it sucks.I am seriously not sure if i am simply overreacting. Its getting to the point where i am checking my options. I earn basically nothing, so i already sent a text to my mom asking if it is possible to make some space for me to move in again with my cats. I am debating ending it one and for all.. The negatives have simply racked up, and this might be my last straw. Am i the asshole? | AITA for getting upset over my bf making plans over an event i had planned 3 months prior? | NTA |
10yckhf | In highschool, final year. My teacher allows us to eat in her class if we didnt have enough time at break to finish our lunch.I walk to my desk to sit with my friend and had my wrap in my hand, and my classmate immediately see's this and proceeds to basically stare me down until I leave. I could tell too, so I kind of halted my eating, because my classmate staring at me just made me feel uncomfortable; and I know if I continued eating, she would have gotten more mad.Thing is, im far from her, like 2 rows behind her and to the far right side of the classroom, so its not like she can hear me chew, whisper to my friend, etc, and im a quiet person and my friend as well. Next to me, also happened to be a classmate who was eating food as well, and she is way more closer to the classmate who has sensory issues. Thankfully, my teacher does also allow a couple of minutes to go downstairs to the cafeteria if we need it, so out of respect and because I did not want to be stared down, I just went there, and asked my other classmate who was eating if she wanted to come down with me.Its not the first time with this classmate either. I have been of a miles radius near her (not close at all) and was chewing gum, and she would immediately tell me to go even more further?? Im far enough?? And my backview was towards her, so it isnt like I was facing her while I was chewing. I assume she saw me grab my gum packet and decided to tell me off from thatAt this point, I assume she's just against me, for whatever it is I did. Im asking this subreddit just cause I dont wanna be a douchebag when Im off to college in September, I'm all for respecting sensory issues, but to me, my classmate, seems like she just dislikes me? And uses her sensory issues as an excuse? | AITA for "bothering" classmate's sensory issues? | NTA |
10yere0 | I know this sounds silly but please bear with me. I 35F) recently got divorced and had to move with my sons into my grandparents place temporarily. They are renting but the landlord was ok with it. Anyways, we live in the city on a very busy and overcrowded street so parking is really hard to find. If I work a late shift, I’ll often have absolutely nowhere to park unless I go really far up the street. There is also a parking ban in effect so you can only park on certain sides of the street. I had noticed some people park in their yards so that’s what I started doing. My grandmother was a little iffy because she didn’t know what the landlord would say about it, which was understandable. But she said it would be ok. I’ve done it a few times and no word from the landlord so I figured it would be fine. Tonight my grandfather saw my car in the yard and absolutely lost it on me, he was yelling and cussing at me. He called me a b**** when I asked if I could please have the landlords number so I could call and ask him if it would be ok that I park my car there only on nights when I come from work late. He just kept on ranting about how terrible I am, even went as far as saying I’m such a loser… it honestly had me in tears. All over something so small. Himblowing up on me has been a common occurrence since I got here. My family has a history of being toxic and abusive and then gaslighting me into believing I’m the problem. They do this in front of my kids as well. I just… I’m not sure if I’m the AH here. TLDR; AITA for parking in the yard due to a parking ban? | AITA for parking in the yard? | NTA |
10yk7a0 | My (25F) mother in law has recently started copying me in everything I do. She has taken over the things I enjoy as she Googles them and constantly claims I know nothing and she is the expert on my hobbies, interests and anything I enjoy. I told my (25M) boyfriend that’s it’s really frustrating me but he says I’m an asshole, she is just trying to find new hobbies and I’m overreacting. | AITA for feeling frustrated towards my MIL | NTA |
10yho8v | So I (18 f) and my best friend (17 m) have had a pretty good friendship up until now. We met each other in a school program in high school and immediately hit it off, we became super close in the spam of 2 months.When we met each other I was a senior and he was a sophomore. Now I’m a freshman in college and he is a junior in high school. Our relationship is completely platonic and we feel like family to each other. We have never had any arguments.Fast forward to February 5th I completely forgot that our anniversary was on Sunday because my sister and her family have come over to eat dinner with us,and I was busy finishing a tight deadline for college. I remembered when my friend texted me saying happy anniversary and I said it back. Now we both said we were going to spend that day together about a week in advance; so I felt horrible having to cancel plans last minute.We both have agreed that family always comes first before anyone.So I told him he can stop by tomorrow and get some leftover food that we had. He agreed and the day went on. Next day arrives and my sister unexpectedly slept over so they were with us the whole day.My nephew was sick that day and we were too busy watching him.By the end of the day I was pretty exhausted and my sister kept bickering about cleaning. I didn’t have the energy to socialize so I lied and told my best friend that he couldn’t come since my sister was being a b****; he said that’s fine and we moved on like normal.My sister had told me that my friend had some negative thoughts on me skipping out on our anniversary, they had talked and he basically said that what I did was rude and he feels like he puts in all of the effort in our friendship;how for the past month I have been dry and I have an attitude. And how he is always the one asking to come to my house but I barely invite him,now I have to put in the effort because I never do and because he doesn’t chase. I felt my heart break and questioned if our friendship was that small to break apart so easily since we both have gotten closer.I cried about 7 times today and kept thinking about how I’m going to confront him. I asked myself why he didn’t tell me the day before because I had called him and deeply apologized for what I did on our anniversary. He said it was fine and “it is what it is” and for context on our friendship I’m always the one paying when we go out and I have gotten him multiple gifts yet he has never gotten me one since his parents don’t give him money and he feels bad about it. I don’t expect anything in return and I give gifts as a form of my love language. I feel completely horrible for canceling plans. Another thing to know is we’re both equally busy with school and he says we’re still friends,but that our conversations our not the same since the anniversary. So AITA? | AITA for not being with my best friend on our 1 year anniversary | NAH |
10ydpfi | For my birthday, I had 6 girls over. 2 didn't stay the night. I had 2 girls over I had never had over before. I liked them a lot but not anymore. So, first off, no one wished me a happy birthday, which I get is a not a big deal I guess, but it was just one thing out of a lot. Second, they are a lot of food and kept asking for more. It wasn't like we didn't have food for them either. Pizza, sushi, cake, chips, etc. Almost all cleared out by the end of the night. One girl (we will call her Emma) was particularly rude. Just ignoring me, only talking to the other girls, in general just being frustrating. Then, at around 12 AM, Emma and her friend began asking if we could go get McDonalds. Now, I know some parents are fine with this type of thing, but mine are EXTREMELY strict and it's laughable that I would even consider asking my parents when they wouldn't take me in daylight, let alone so late. They also locked me out of my bathroom, 5 of them in the shower (showering after swimming) which is way too much. My shower door is messed up, so if you hit it too hard then it is likely it could break. So they locked me out, banging on the door, and my dad came down and yelled at me to get them to stop, they could break it and get seriously injured, yada yada yada. So now I'm freaking out and they won't open the door. after this point, I start kind of ignoring them. I went to the bathroom and cried and my mom came down and yelled at me for being rude to them. I talked to my sister and she was on my side. For the rest of the night I pretty much ignored them completely. Emma and her friend asked if they should leave because they felt I was mad. They asked to door dash and all this stuff. I was on the verge of tears, on my birthday. My parents are mad at me, these girls are trying to leave at 1 AM on my birthday, and I just felt awful. I know that I was mean too, but I feel like they started it Now I sit with Emma in a class, and she hates me. I don't know what to do and I keep wondering if it was my fault. AITA? | AITA for ignoring my guests on my birthday? | NTA |
10y8bwt | Me (34F) and my ex (35M) have a child (11M). This was a surprise and completely unplanned. We tried to make it work but when our son was about 3 we parted ways. We didn't work as a couple and we made each other miserable. So instead of exposing our young child to daily screaming matches, we decided to separate.I've always been very accommodating with time and access. As I had grown up without a father, I was keen for son to have as much access to both of us as possible. I suggested every weekend (as long as I could have son on occasional weekends to do stuff) and a bedtime every week. My ex decided he would do 1 night a fortnight as that's what worked best for him.Everything seemed fine for a while. But, as our son got older, he was growing more and more resistant to going to his dad's. Son didn't like the girlfriend, and found his father intimidating to the point he felt he was always in trouble. When I opened discussions to try and get to the bottom of what was going on, ex would state that son wasn't trying while visiting, and he needed to try harder for this relationship to work.Contact has pittered off, with son not really wanting to contact his dad. And ex hasn't really bothered. Last time they saw each other was a week before son started at new school in September. The last time I sent a message was 2 weeks into the school year to update with how things were going - left on read and no message from him since. Last time messages were exchanged between son and dad was first day of school. Son was last to message. No correspondence since.So, AITA for going quiet and not trying to keep pushing for communication? I feel like it shouldn't be up to me and should be down to him to make an effort. I have pushed for them to have a relationship for the last 8 years and now I don't see the point. | AITA for giving up on my son's dad | NTA |
10yc7rp | Me (25m) and my girlfriend (20f) have been together for nearly 2 years and it’s been great.However, her friend Jack(17m) is constantly over at her place meaning me and my girlfriend can’t do anything. He always ridicules me about what I should be doing in the relationship.At first I ignored it since I barely knew her but now it’s gotten annoying. He always has an opinion about our relationship even though he’s only a teenager. I put up with it all until last night. We got into an argument because I wanted jack to leave and my girlfriend wouldn’t listen to me. She started screaming at me until he got in the middle of it and told me to leave. She went silent and told Jack to go into her room, I've never seen her like this before she went from screaming at me to calm in-front of him in a matter of seconds.She then went on about her and Jack grew up in foster care together and how she always looked out for him. I tried to tell her that she was damaging our relationship by having a minor over constantly. It went silent again, I tried to reason with her saying how I only wanted to spend time alone with her, she didn’t listen and only told me that Jack was her brother. I tried to tell her that he wasn’t even her brother just a teenager she lets stay over. She got angry again and told me to leave her apartment, I kept trying to tell her what I meant but she slammed the door in my face.She hasn’t talked to me since and I know that Jack had a part in turning her against me. | AITA for questioning my girlfriends relationship with her friend | YTA |
10ygmdn | I’ve been stressed/extremely unhappy at my job for several months. The stress isn’t going away and every time I take a day off, my coworkers guilt trip me. The expectations are set so high that I can’t reach them, and my boss blames me for not reaching those expectations. Doesn’t provide me with any support either. I feel stretched thin and often come home to my fiancé just bawling.I started job searching in September, and recently landed a remote position, but it’s a contract position that would ultimately result in more than a 50% pay cut. My fiancé is disappointed by my acceptance of this position, as it’s going to put us in more financial stress in trying to pay for our wedding. He wants me to get another job on top of this new job (I will be working 9-4:30 M-Th.)AITA for accepting the 50% pay cut with no benefits, insurance, 401k, etc. just because I want to get out of my current job? I feel like I’ve been applying, interviewing, and always getting that rejection email. This job seems like my only way out of all the stress I’m feeling right now. | AITA for taking a 50% pay cut to leave a toxic work environment? | NTA |
10ygmbe | I (24) moved in with my grandma (60) from my parents house a few months ago because my work changed locations to her city and it just made sense accommodation wise. She is planning on selling her current house and buying a new one out of the city. She offered me to move in with her, in which we’d split the payments. I was planning on buying my own place closer to the end of the year, which has always been my plan, even before I moved in with her. She doesn’t like the fact that I don’t want to move into the prospective house with her, thinks I’ll regret it later and that I’m missing out on a great opportunity, since half of the down payment and mortgage would be covered by her. I can understand why she’d want someone to move in with her since she is getting older, but she has kids who were offering her a place in their home if she wanted it. There’s also other family members living in this current house now, so I wouldn’t see why she wouldn’t want to bring them with her since I’m not interested. At my age, I think it’s reasonable to want to live life on my own for a bit, but I’m just wondering if I’m being young and dumb by not taking the opportunity. | AITA for not wanting to move in with my grandmother? | NTA |
10y9vjn | I (28f) am expecting our second child next month. My mom (62) and dad (63) offered to watch my son (16mon) while I deliver and recover from the birth. We live a 12-hour drive away from one another so they’d be staying at my house for the duration of their time here. The issue I’m having is that my mom insists on bringing their dog (medium/sized yellow lab) since she feels 2-weeks away is too long with a sitter. Normally, I’d have no issue with this. However, the dog has crippling anxiety that my parents don’t seem to properly treat. If they leave the house and/or he hears a slight noise, he will bark incessantly. When anxious, he will cower in a ball and shake. He was rescued at 2-years old and my parents were told he suffered trauma earlier on in his life. My parents brought him here one other time and it resulted in my son, (8mon) at the time, getting nipped on the cheek. I understand it isn’t his fault, but when that anxious and in an unfamiliar environment, a dog can be unpredictable. So, because of this (this is where I may be the AH) I told my mom that I’d rather him not be here at all but if he must, his anxiety needs to be controlled with meds. She got mad and said “this is what happens when you have a dog, you can’t just pick up and travel, he will be better this time.”. I explained to her that she can’t assume this especially since it’s happened before. It’s just negligent to me. Realistically, we can absolutely keep them separated and keep an eye on them, but an accident can happen too quickly. I may have hurt herfeelings when I told her “having you guys here at the point is causing me more stress than if you weren’t here”. They offered, I don’t necessarily need the help as I have my husband here but I didn’t want to deny them their chance to meet their grandson. I’m just so anxious. I’m stressed about noise from the barking, and the risk posed to my son. I don’t want to bring my newborn into a stressful environment. AITA for telling my mom she needs to medicate her dog or he can’t be at my house? | AITA for telling my mom she needs to medicate her dog or he can’t be at my house? | NTA |
10yg7if | I (18f) recently started dating my first girlfriend (16f). We’re both in high school still and have liked each other for years. We were on FaceTime together and were texting almost everyone we knew to tell them the news. She even carried the phone around her house as she told her siblings and parents about us. However, I didn’t do the same thing. The only person from my family I told was my older sister. The reason for this is because my parents and brother have been blatantly homophobic. The only reason I came out to my parents was because I was scared my brother would out me (he tried and failed twice in the past). The reaction was not great. I’m completely out but when I’m at home I try not to talk about my being a lesbian around my parents because I know they make awful “jokes” and give me dirty looks. At one point they told me that my hanging pride flag was just something i did to piss them off. I know that in their minds they’ve convinced themselves I’m not actually into women (my mom has started asking me about boys when she never used to before) and my dad always mentions my “future husband” and children.My sister told my brother about me and my girlfriend after I told her and let me know that she did. She’s very supportive but doesn’t entirely grasp the concept of his homophobia or how it affects me. The other night my brother and I saw each other in the driveway (I was coming home he was leaving) and he mentioned my new relationship. He told me that I needed to tell our parents and that it would be fine for a few weeks but a stable and healthy relationship depends on my parents knowing. I told him I agreed to end the conversation (as most of our conversations go, I don’t like talking to him very much. He’s has directly opposite views as I do and always gaslights me when I try to speak my mind) and and went into the house. I laughed to myself because the last time he was a relationship was 6 years ago and she broke up with him before he had a chance to tell out parents. Still though, it got me thinking that maybe I should tell them. When they found out about my sisters then boyfriend then were pissed that she didn’t tell them and yelled at her. I don’t want that kind of reaction and I especially don’t want them to gaslight and guilt me, telling me that they would have been supportive and shit like that. Also my parents have been very mad at me lately and I don’t want this to be the cause of any more issues with them. So AITA for keeping my relationship a secret from them? | AITA for not telling my parents about my relationship? | NTA |
10yg4w0 | I am 25y and my sister is 21y. My sister is battling an eating disorder and she waited MONTHS to finally get accepted Into this specialized program and she is finding the help she needs there. There are alot of rules for the patients. I don't know very many but I do know they are not allowed to leave the ward unless accompanied by a nurse and they are not allowed to have a vape pen. Patients are allowed to be discharged whenever they want but it could be months before getting re accepted. They do allow visitors but only during certain time periods. One of friends I believe brought her a vape pen and she had it for a few days before she got caught by a nurse and they confiscated it. She asked if I could bring her a new one and I said no. Earlier today she had already asked if I could visit and take some of her laundry home to do since the wards washer machine was broken so I was about to leave the house and be on my way. I told her I was going to end the call and I would see her soon. 5 min later she texted me to not worry about it and that she was discharging herself since she could not deal with withdrawal from vaping. I read this and tried calling her immediately. I did not hear from her untill after visiting hours were over so I decided to not leave the house. I texted our father about the whole thing while waiting to hear back from her. When she did call me back she was crying and very upset and she missed home. She said that she had a long conversation with the nurses and doctor and she is not leaving tonightBoth me and our father are very worried about her and want to see her get the help she needs. I have hold her that I would stop by afterwork to give her the allowed items she had requested and to pick up her laundry. I have no problem doing the extra. But, aita for not sneaking in a vape pen? | AITA for not sneaking my sister's vape into the hospital | NTA |
10ya6f1 | So, my guy and I are living together for almost a year. When we first move together, he didn't have a job and I was OK with that.He got a job 2 months ago and I told him that we needed to split bills because he could help us now with some money. I know he's not making as much as me and that I could bear our expenses, but I just want him to have some responsibilities. I don't care if it's not much, but I don't want to feel like an ATM. | AITA for asking my guy to help me pay bills? | NTA |
10yfyih | Hello, I’m 30M and my mother is 60F. To start the story, my family is not financially stable all around. My mother who born in Korea back in 60’s had living in poverty and situations were not better even her adulthood. Even after divorce with my father when I was 13. She did not abandon us and be there for my sister and me.This February is my mother’s 60th birthday. In my home country this is great deal. Issue is that I got a new job back in January after got a car accident. ( I’m fine, had to go through L&I), new job has perk but there is also seasonal down time that I don’t work full 40 hours. Today my mother call me and asking about paying the dinner as my whole family will be going to buffet for celebrate her birthday, I told her that I have to check the paycheck next day as I mean I gotta eat and pay. Suddenly she hangs up the call, starting to ignore my call. When she finally answer after 3 tries. She were upset that how I cannot pay for the dinner and trying to mooching of my sister, I told her that I didn’t say about not paying, I’m just telling her that I have to check my paycheck, then she telling about how my poor my finances and telling me that don’t even bother come to dinner, I’m just dumbfounded right now what the hell is going on, so tell me guys AITA?Update 1: Me and My Mother just had huge fight. She telling me that my spending habit brought me here and she is sick and tired of hearing me and my sister saying no money and even saying that I spend so much on buying stuff on Amazon and other online shop ( I do admit that I like buying stuff on online but most of stuff I been bought was basically essential items under $50), I told her that I can explain where all the money has been spend on but she is just upset and hang up even I told her not to hang up. Honestly I wanna cry right now but I still want my mom to be happy as for fucksake it is her birthday, I will try to see her after work. Thanks for all the comments, I will keep you guys update if anything happens | AITA for telling my mother about current financial situation? | NTA |
10y9u3z | So the basic run down of the situation is as follows. I live with my wife, her brother, and his girlfriend. I work 35 to 45 hours a week most weeks, monday to friday in the afternoon into the evening. Typically everyone else stays home to handle housework, up until recently when my brother-in-law's girlfriend got a job to help out with the bills. This is fine for the most part, but it does lead me to some schedule issues and a lot of stress.Since I work afternoon and evenings, I can't really do anything during the weekdays themselves, so my only solid free time for something other than videogames after work is on the weekends. However, this is where the problem lies. We used to have things set up so that we would have an alternating roleplaying game in the afternoons on Saturdays, and then another game every alternating Sunday. However, recently my brother in law has started insisting that the Sundays we DON'T play our game we play a board game (always the one he wants), as a "family day" where we do things together. However, this has meant I have no day during the week where I'm not obligated to do something, and it's leading to a lot of stress build up for me. And since I'm autistic, it's hard for me to see if I'm just being selfish or not. I've been wanting to tell everyone that I want to skip a week or maybe just drop out of a game, but I'm worried about being a jerk. So am I wrong for just wanting a day without feeling forced into playing tabletop or doing something? A day where I can just relax and go do things with someone who isn't directly living with me? | WIBTA for simply wanting some "me time"? | NTA |
10yflj3 | I (36f) recently had seriously bad dip in my health, that has, unfortunately, resulted on me in hospital on palliative care (doctors even said could be 6 months, may not be able to leave hospital to spend last days at home - DNR to be signed because my heart and lungs are too weak even if I was resected would probably only live about 3 days on machines).My Uncle (\~50M) had gotten into a conflict with my mother as my Grandmother was dying in hospital (as many siblings would because everyone was on an emotional rollercoaster and she had rapid onset dementia). After my Grandmother passed, my uncle because putting my mom on blast on Facebook, took over the Facebook my Grandparents had together to Facechat with family in Italy. And created an Instagram profile under my Grandfathers name. At that time my Grandfather said he did NOT want any social media accounts. He shared one with his wife, and now he's done.Uncle began private messaging my sister about our mom, but she asked to be kept out of the situation because it's important for them to resolve this issue as adults. He then blocked my sister, and started sending me texts and Facebook messages telling me how terrible my sister is. He would even create group discussions with her brother in law, her husband, and me to talk about how terrible my mom and sister are.I asked to not be a part of it because I was emotionally drained from losing my Grandmother who I was very close with all my life. I felt heart broken at the time, and lost, especially because disagreements fueled by anger and confusion and sadness of what was happening resulted in me losing a relationship with my Uncle, and in tune, my Grandfather.My uncle then blocked us all from my Grandfather's house phone and cellphone a and his own cellphone and house phone. The only way we can get a hold of him is to call his caregiver and hope she is with him at the moment. He also added an Apple Tag to my Grandfather's keys so he can monitor where he is at all times.I have been documenting my journey in the hospital to keep a record of my highs and lows, and really just genuinely show what I am going through. Uncle has liked posts under his personal account, and my Grandfathers Instagram, which hurt more because he knew from the beginning I was in the hospital and didn't share this news with my Grandfather. I posted on my Grandfather's Facebook profile with high emotions begging to please see my Grandfather because it's been so long and I want a chance to say goodbye, . I did this knowing my Uncle would see it as he runs this profile. Instead he deleted the post and removed me as a friend from my Grandfather's profile so I can't message or do anything. I sent him a message begging again, and this resulted in being blocked.AITA for making this post and continuously messaging him trying to get to see him? Or am I being too overdramatic? | AITA for posting on Facebook begging my Uncle to see my Grandfather | NTA |
10yf0ty | I (19 F, about to be 20) got my license at age 18 during my first year at university. I actually got my license a couple days before my chem final and my grades definitely suffered as a result ( due to all the extra driving practice). I only did the drivers test b/c of all the implied pressure my parents, in particular my mom, put on me. Some of my friends went, did their test, and passed. My mom tends to fall victim to FOMO and completely lost her shit and had me do the test. I passed on my first try and b/c she didn't pass on her first try, paraded me and my driving test result around to all her friends and family.Fast forward, I'm now halfway through second year and don't drive except to get coffee. My mom is psychotically afraid of me driving. Which is ironic b/c I passed my test in terrible winter conditions (all other driving centers had closed that day due to weather). Sometimes, due to late meetings I have huge gaps in my schedule and b/c I only live \~10-15 minutes from campus it would be more feasible for me to go home and then come back later for the meetings rather than wait 3+ hours (even if I study).However, due to my moms paranoia, my dad picks me up from university EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. He drives me to and from home to and from university. Mind you, our family is privileged enough to own two cars and both my parents work from home. All day, the two cars just sit in our driveway.My dad has historically insisted and persuaded me to avoid taking the bus or even simply picking up my university-issued bus pass b/c 'he can always drive me.' However recently, my dad has now told me I either wait 2-5 hours on campus (until my meeting) or I take the bus (we have a 24 hr issuing time for bus passes, so I can't take the bus). I would take the bus, but like I said I live \~10-15 mins away from campus and due to the 2020 lockdown, many bus routes in my area were cut. As a result the 10-15 minute ride is anywhere from 40 mins - 1hr one way on the bus. So I would rather stay on campus and study. But my entire motive to even come to this university was the close distance. I would be much more effectively using my time if I could just take the car and come and go according to my own schedule rather than having to consult with my parents' work schedule (we would even be saving gas).I am very open on my thoughts on this with my parents but even though I'm almost 20, they disregard any of my points, and use their paranoia as 'oh but we just care more than most parents do about their children' or 'kids your age who drive do it out of necessity.' I have the need to drive, we have the cars for me to do it, I really don't get their point. It's disgusting. My dad even likes to imply how much of a burden driving me is, which is ironic. I'm even willing to grab a job, if anything I'm openly searching for a job so I can pay any parking related fees on campus.AITA for wanting to take the car or saying I have a right to? | AITA for wanting a car? | YTA |
10yd10l | Hi everyone, my girlfriend is absolutely convinced I'm in the wrong and I was wondering if there was something I was missing?Myself (20F) and my girlfriend Cara (also 20F) went shopping a few days ago - she has an upcoming trip and I need some formal clothes for a job interview coming up. It was getting late and we barely bought anything so we headed to H&M as a last resort because we figured there would be at least something good. We were right - there was a gorgeous pair of black pleated trousers which Cara got to first. She said they looked good but was on the fence about buying them immediately. She put them back and went to another area of the shop to continue looking. Because I also liked them (I voiced my opinion that I did when she showed me) and we were running low on time, I picked them out in my size and bought them. I couldn't find Cara and did not realise she had gone to buy them while I was looking at blouses which caught my eye by the checkout. I ended up buying a couple blouses and a blazer after too, and placed them on top of the trousers in my bag, not thinking anything of it.I was really excited to show her what I'd bought when we got home and showed her my haul. Immediately, she was annoyed and asked why I purposely bought those trousers when she'd told me before she doesn't like matching outfits. I was confused because a) I was not aware she'd gone back to buy them, b) we've talked about co-ordinating outfits before and I know she isn't a fan and c) they're formal and would be perfect for my interview and I wouldn't be wearing them for any other things (I prefer wearing dresses for formal dates and occasions anyway). I told her the reasons above and then offered to return them because of the misunderstanding but she told me that wasn't the point and I was being sneaky by deliberately putting them under clothes but I also pointed out that I bought more things so it was natural they wouldn't be on the top.I don't think I did anything wrong by purchasing those trousers. My interview is in a few days and really need some formal trousers to wear and she's listened to my frustrations about not being able to find anything that fits me properly length-wise and waist-wise which I also like the style of. I also offered to return them since I still had the receipt but she didn't want me to do that either because "it wasn't the point". So AITA? | AITA for buying the same trousers as my girlfriend? | NTA |
10yheiw | I feel bad. So my brother and I both live with our parents (we’re both in college, he has a break and i have an internship) anyways my bed is right above the Laundry room and the noise is awful. I heard the laundry starting at 12:15am yesterday and went down and turned it off. Then I heard it back on again, I went out of my room and my brother said he needs to dry his clothing. I told him it 12:30am and it’s late and I turned it off. However I feel really bad now and wonder if I should just have let him use it. He said he needs to dry his clothing but I was like “you had all day. I was annoyed since I have my internship to go to and need to sleep but I also feel bad for him. AITA?1) what action you took that should be judged: I turned off the dryer that still had all this clothing in that were fully wet and those were all his main clothing 2) why that action might make you the asshole: should I have just let it slide and let the dryer run and waited it out, did I react too harshly | AITA for turning off the laundry at 12:30am? | NTA |
10yharr | My, (35f) best friend is currently living with me(30f) and my husband (30M). She recently just got to this city and of course I told her she could live with us, she was going through a financial situation and we covered for her food and expenses for a month while she got herself together and was able to pay for her stuff. Even tho she pays half the rent of our place we usually don’t ask for her money when it comes to groceries or Ubers/gas to go to work since my husband usually pick us up and drives us there half most of the days.
Keep in mind that right now all three of us are living in a place that we don’t really like and feel comfortable with and when she moved in we had agreed that we we’re going to look for something else for the three of us and share expenses until she was able to do it on her own.
After a couple weeks she started dating this guy and I feel like everything went downhill from there. Suddenly, everything my husband says and does is just annoying and immature. She just sticks to herself and doesn’t come out of her room, and 5 out of 7 days a week her guy is in our place visiting, staying the night or hanging out with her which was not a problem. My husband and I, don’t have couple friends so whenever her and I are doing something and both of our partners show up, he tries to make small talk and conversation so we can all be together and hang out. Well, her guy usually just deviates her attention to him and distracts her from whatever we are saying or doing even tho she tries to keep up with the conversation it’s inevitable that after some while of him not engaging and just talking to her, she just ignores us too.
It's been weeks and I started feeling like something was up, so when she was not paying attention I took her phone and checked out her chats with this guy and found out that she hates living with us, has already texted everyone not to live with friends talks shit about my husband and in her words “tries not to engage” in conversations even tho he picks both of us from work and takes both of us usually to eat afterwards on his own accord and paying for everything she stills finds it inconvenient because she doesn’t know what time she’ll be home to the point of her texting him how’s she’s so ready to move out of here and such but “putting up with it for at least a year because she can’t afford going anywhere else”. He usually makes small talk on our way home like “how was work?Did you have a nice day?” And she just answers with “it was okay, yeah, idk” and with each answer her voice gets lower to the point of not even being able to hear her so he just stops asking
At first, I felt guilty about reading her conversations but after all I’ve found out I’m just angry and feel completely used and disregarded.
Checking her phone was just a reassurance to what I had been feeling all this time and it’s painful and sad how she could disrespect our relationship and our friendship that way. Even if it wasn’t to our faces | AITA for checking my best fiend's phone chats without her knowing? | YTA |
10yctaj | AITA So (24F)Lily got into with a coworker (34?)Priscilla(she a new hire) we work as front desk agent as a hotel my first shift with her I thought she was alright until evening happened she decided to be rude and snarking to me for 2 hrs I will admit I got upset and try to talk with her about it (like hey can you please don't talk to me like that) she decided after that to cuss and scream at me and we got in a argument in the back(luckily we didn't have no guest around at the time 😔😨) I got sick of it and told her to leave me alone, I was going to call our manager but she beat me to the punch and I decided to wait until she was done,my manger Drew call me asking me what this about drinking on the job(I ask what you taking about) long story short she lied and made false allegations about me, we also have cameras in the "office" area also I did not drink on the job, mangers know that she was lying but haven't done any discipline actions to her, for about 2 weeks we haven't had shifts together but another manger Josh told me I was being childish and immature for not wanting to work with her, I saw the schedule for next weekend I supposed to work with her, I told my boss multiple times I don't feel comfortable working with her, and he been ignoring my feelings | AITA for not wanting to work a shift with a coworker? | NTA |
10ygrm2 | my (M15) friend (F17) was on a call with a few friends. Her boyfriend happened to be in the call with us. For privacy reasons we will him, Red. I have been in calls with them before along with my friend, Chad (M14). We are all friends. Today, I realized Red sounded awfully familiar. After a few hours of being on call, it finally clicked and I realized he sounded like the YouTube Dream. Of course that was too funny to keep to myself. I told him on the call which he immediately refused. However, my friend Chad agreed. We went back and fourth with Red disagreeing and Chad and I laughing. Every word he said, sounded more similar to Dream. This went back and fourth for several minutes. I assumed it was all giggles. I couldn’t stop laughing until tears started building up in my eyes. Eventually, the girlfriend left the call, saying she was uncomfortable. Now, I thought it was still jokes and Chad and I giggled on call for several minutes. However neither of them are responding. So AITA? | AITA for saying my friends boyfriend sounds like Dream. | YTA |
10ye1hk | English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.EDIT: I made a mistake. She asked me to take care of them on Saturday two days ago (it's Wednesday rn and I answered today). Some think it's a 3 hour travel. It's not. It's a 1 hour travel.She has borderline personality disorder. I'm trying to find the way to talk to her without making her feel bad, but it's really hard for me.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My (17F) sister (40F) said she would pay me $10 to take care of her cats only for tomorrow since she won't be at home.I had to do the same with my older brother for 7 days and I really hated it. His cat was really aggressive and it was kinda tiring. Her cats are the opposite but the problem is: She lives one hour and a half far from my home. I don't have a car and I have to use the public transportation (which is not really good)I said I can't. She got mad and said I should be a better person. Then she sent a sticker that said "I'm emotional rn I'll come later"I understand she's frustrated because I'm the only one available but I don't wanna go over there. I suggested her to add more food to their plates and other things.AITA? | AITA for not taking care of my sister's cats | NTA |
10ydx3q | I'll try to keep it concise. On mobile. Went to a friend's for a get together. Chatted up with a girl. We ended up hooking up in the basement on the couch.During the dead, when she climaxed she squirted. A lot. All over the couch.The next morning we told the host what happened and they understood, but asked that we paid to get the couch professionally cleaned. Fair ask, imo.I paid a company, it was done.I sent a venmo request to the girl for half the amount of the cleaning, thinking it was fair. We engaged in the act together, pay for it together.She asked why should she pay half and I explained a as much. She said, I made her squirt, and such is my fault, and I should pay for it all. And that it was involuntary, caused by me. Which....i guess... Technically true.Aita for thinking she pays half? Or is it on me?Edit:I think I'm getting replies to my replies, but I don't know how to use this app too add another reply. I'm trying. Medium time lurker on my work computer but I don't sign in, so this is new | AITA NSFW couch cleaning | NTA |
10ydv4w | I’m at work and my coworker is taking an order on front counter. Part of the order is “Caramel Frappe” which was worded as “Caramel Frappuccino”. [My coworker] hears it as “Caramel Cappuccino”. I read those words sensing something suspicious. I had to step in to confirm whether it was a frappe or a cappuccino. It indeed was a frappe. I did it to make sure a 1-800 complaint was avoided. Thanks to her limited English, her lack of understanding of English does lead to 1-800 complaints. To specify what a 1-800 complaint means, it’s a corporate complaint customers make.Three minutes later, she approaches me, and instead of thanking me for helping her, she told me off saying she would write me up, which I don’t know whether she’ll do or not. I explained the difficulty of even me understanding whether they wanted that cappuccino or Frappuccino, but she was dismissive.I wanna know from you guys, AITA because I did what I did? | AITA for intervening just to be sure I gave my customer what she wanted? | NTA |
10ygdlg | So I'm in a Facebook group for historical information about my hometown. It's awesome to see cool old photos of buildings, stores, schools, etc alongside current photos of the town. I haven't been there in ages, it's awesome to see that stuff.There are folks who post current photos of the city, especially in a juxtaposition to an older photo of how it looked years ago. I love seeing this stuff, it's great to see the city as it was versus how it is now.However. There's this one guy who rides all over town taking photos. LOVE them, because it's a current view better than Google street view. However, he ALWAYS has to pose his bicycle in the photo. Not him, just the bike.I commented about this to an acquaintance and he replied that it was just his thing and I shouldn't be an ass about it. To be fair, I have NEVER called him out in the group or said anything to anyone else. I am asking y'all based solely on the first opinion I got. I'd like to see my hometown without this stupid ass bike in every damn photo. Othwr photographers do not have the same drive. AITA? | AITA for not wanting a bicycle in every photo? | YTA |
10ybe14 | my younger brother (11) misbehaves and does sneaky thing (stealing soda, snacks, not doing homework etc. he is also diabetic) anyways, my mothers husband (they have only been together 2 years) takes control, shuts my mother down etc and when he does he favorites me and constantly adds me into every conversation and i feel like a terrible sister because i don’t know how to deal with this? i don’t want him to think i don’t care because i can’t stand up for him even tho i try. my brother does cause trouble for himself but he over reacts and i think he is ruining my brothers mental health. my mother does not see it, i don’t know how i can help. also by no means am i any better then my brother, i have disrespected him serval times and skipped months of school and hidden food, soda etc but have never been through the same thing he does to my brother? | AITA? mothers husband favorites me over my brother. | NTA |
10yk3pq | This is my first reddit post and I'm on mobile, so I apologize for any mistakes. Like the title says, I told my wife I don't want her or I to drive to my in-laws to visit because they never make any effort to visit us at our home. I've lived with my wife for about 7 years and we've been married 5. We have 4 kids (the oldest 2 are my step kids). Over the 7yrs my in-laws have mainly only visited my home to see their grandkids for their birthday parties and have even missed atleast half of those, and yet they constantly nag my wife and I about missing the kids and that we don't see them often enough. I get a lot of backhanded remarks about moving my wife away from them as they used to live in the same city as well. The past few years their lack of effort has made me start to resent my in-laws because they act like it's my fault they don't get to see their grandkids even though they are perfectly capable of making an easy 30min drive, if it was truly important to them. I can literally count the times they've been to my house on my fingers, and for years we visited multiple times a month but I've been doing my best lately to avoid their place at all costs. It finally blew to a head when my in-laws started complaining on Facebook about missing the kids and how they want my wife to move back to the same city as them. For whatever reason it really pissed me off, and I told my wife I didn't want us making any more of an effort to make sure our kids see their grandparents, than the grandparents make to see our kids. She is now a little pissy because this won't effect my side of the family since they drive from just as far, and visit my kids in our home every couple of weeks ifbwe dont drive to see them instead. She somehow sees this as unfair and doesn't understand why I don't think it's our job to make sure her parents have a place in our kids lives. I think if they really cared, they would put some effort into the relationship with my family instead of putting all the responsibility of it on my wife and I. For some clarification my in-laws have recently had some medical issues that make it harder BUT not impossible for them to leave their home to visit friends/family. I don't think a newfound excuse for 7yrs of a lack of effort is reasonable, especially when it still doesnt necessarily prevent them from leaving their home. This is why I'm wondering AITA.AITA in this situation?? | AITA for telling my wife I don't want our family driving to my in-laws, if they won't drive to us? | NTA |
10y9p1w | I (f19) live with my parents. I work a full time job so that I will be able to pay for schooling come the fall. Around Christmas, my work gave us dinner from a restaurant and along with that a coupon to the same restaurant. (It was a spend a certain amount and get $10 off coupon)Fast forward, I told my parents that the coupon was going to expire soon and that we should use it. My parents proceeded to use the coupon when I was working a closer (I got off of work at 11pm) and did not buy me anything.When I confronted them about using the coupon, 1. without tell me and 2. without buying me anything, my father said the coupon was about to expire. Which, it was but we could’ve used it the next day(the last day before it expired) when I wasn’t working and home for dinner. Hell, I would’ve paid for my food, I was just looking forward to ordering from this restaurant.Both of my parents see no issues with using the coupon and shut me down everytime I bring it up, saying that ‘they put a roof over my head, what does it matter if they used the coupon.’ Along with ‘it’s just a coupon, why are you upset?’Truthfully, I just wanted to have dinner with my family, we rarely sit down and eat together. I’m grateful for all my parents have done for me but them seeing no issue with using the coupon just rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve let it go for now cause it’s been a few days and they can’t really give back the coupon butAITA for being upset that they used the coupon, without even considering me? | AITA for being upset with my parents? | NTA |
10yde6c | I live in an apartment and my neighbors units and mine are connected through bathroom vents. My neighbor smokes weed in her apartment almost every night and I can smell it in my bathroom and bedroom. I’ve lived here for two years and haven’t said anything but recently her use has gotten very intense and the whole floor reeked of weed. I hate the smell of weed and it was so bad I ended up lodging a complaint. She’s toned it down since then but I can still smell her smoking in the bathroom and bedroom. Now, I wouldn’t normally say anything even though I’m bothered by it, but I am newly pregnant and as you can imagine certain smells cause extremely unpleasant reactions (migraines, nausea, etc).I really don’t want to be THAT neighbor but I can’t stand the thought of living like this for another 7+ months. Also when the baby comes, I don’t want him exposed to weed smell in the apartment. I’ll add that it’s not against building policy for residents to smoke in their apartments but they have to ventilate and can’t impact other residents. Would I be the asshole to lodge another complaint (she would get another $100 fine)? I was advised not to directly engage with neighbors and go through the super for any complaints so I can’t even go ask her to eat edibles or vape or something. | WIBTA if I reported my apartment neighbor for continued marijuana use | YTA |
10y907v | I have a Dell laptop from 2016/2017. It works perfectly well, except for the battery, which stopped working a couple years ago (now I have to use the computer plugged in). A few months ago, the battery swelled (and messed up my keyboard) so I needed to buy a replacement. Where I live, technology is pretty expensive, and the official dell replacement costs almost half of a minimum wage (I bought it on sale, so it was a slightly cheaper). I looked online how to change, but some parts seemed risky and I would need to buy a tool kit, so I chose to take it somewhere to be changed. The thing is, I don't now any tech professionals here (my family had one, but last time he worked on my computer he asked for almost double to take it home and fix the problem, did absolutely nothing to fix it and messed up the configuration), so I need to put my trust in a stranger. I was thinking of asking to watch the process, so I can see the battery I bought go in (I heard a lot of horror stories of people who work in the area switching original parts for fake ones, so they could resell the originals), but I'm afraid of offending the worker (I'm a bit more afraid of being duped, so I'm pretty sure I'll go forward with it). Just wanted to see if people think it's a fair thing to ask or if it's out of linePS: The only reason I paid so much on the battery is because my computer really works like new (maybe a little slower) and I want to keep it working for as long as possible. My fear was that buying a dupe might damage the computer, so that's another reason I want to be sure they use my battery. | WIBTA If I ask to watch an employee work on my computer? | NTA |
10yj4sr | I was taking a online class (masters degree in environmental sciences ) while I was talking to my brother which I haven’t seen in a long time. His gf came by, I started to talk to her and I accidentally muted myself by pressing on my AirPods I think. I talked to her about the class and I told her “ I like the class but the professor is boring”, the professor later asked me “if the class is so boring you can drop from the class if you want”. I was shocked and frozen for a while and said sorry. The professor later told me that if I’m busy I should get out of the zoom meeting, which I did. I ended up writing a email saying sorry and that I was distracted with my family. This situation has been stuck in my head and causing me serious anxiety. I’m really worried the professor is going to take it with me and I won’t do well in my class and it may affect my grades. Also I’m so embarrassed, I take 2 classes with the same professor. I don’t want to see or talk to him. This is seriously a nightmare come true. Earlier today the professor answered my email telling me I’m a disrespectful person and some other things that were a bit hurtful like I should reconsider doing the degree and possibly dropping from it. I need some advice on my situation. What do some of you think?TL;DR: I accidentally unmuted myself on a zoom class and called my professor boring on a masters degree course. | AITA accidentally unmuted myself on a zoom class and called my professor boring? | YTA |
10ycc7b | recently my girlfriend and i saved up our money to have a tree cut down, with logs being cut to firewood size. her sister's husband calls the tree service (who later called me to make sure i knew who was asking for it) to ask if he could have wood, and I let the guy know to tell him I said "sure you can have SOME of the wood" fast forward a few days and a little more than "some" was taken. later that day i sarcastically asked if he had got the wood he needs (hinting that he had taken a lot) and he said yes. a few more days went buy and at least 85% is gone, which leads me to believe he's either taking advantage, letting others go on our property to take it. now normally I wouldn't care but since he didn't even ask me up front or let me know he was going to continue to take more, my only course of action was to make a sign that stated "that's enough wood (: don't take anymore" ya know being funny but serious. (i also put debris in the remainder of the pile, in case it's thieves, gonna make em work for the wood lol since we've already had to deal with trespassing and break ins) now me and my girlfriend are dealing with them, complaining that we're "accusing them of stealing" and trying to make us seem like we're the bad guys. AITA? | AITA for putting up a sign on my property? | NTA |
10yix4h | Backstory:so I have the “friend” she is quite a new friend to me but we hang out for a bit then one day we went to the toilet stalls in our school bathroom and saw vape packaging. The friend (new) went go tell the teacher on duty on the day and dragged two of my old friends with her to tell the teacher. One day later on discord one of the friends she dragged told me that “I don’t want you to tell the friend about me because I’m scared I’m gonna get hurt” or something along that line so I agree with them and that day I only say that person’s name once or twice, so I’m like “ok I did it”. Yesterday that same friend is playing with her and chasing her around after she told me not to tell that new friend about them.I feel like that their the asshole but I feel like I something about that they’ll just say “I just got over it” or “why are you bring it up?” I talked to a friend I can trust about and they agreed with me but I don’t know who’s the asshole in this. Am I the asshole? | AITA? My friend thing about my new “friend” | YTA |
10yc4kq | Me and my bf got into an argument about his reaction to me having a nightmare he cheated. There were other issues on other nights that all kind of led to this.Id like to start off by saying, I was not mad at my bf because of the nightmare, it wasnt real and he didnt cheat. I am however hurt by his reaction.We had a nice wake up in morning, fooled around a little + were really happy cuddling after. I debated telling him about the nightmare + decided why not. I explained what happened, he asked "what they looked like". I was shocked + got upset about this as I didnt understand why he'd ever ask that. I tried to talk to him how I found that hurtful + that it had me feeling insecure and he said "it's just a nightmare, whys it a big deal, I was just curious". (He said later that day he was curious if it was an alien, devil or such...vivid imagination) We argued for a while even on our way to lunch to where he said "I'll watch what I'm doing in future cause I need to remember you're sensitive + over react " and doubled down on this multiple times since, he truly sees me like this, cause I brought up these issues also:The night before he had goggled at + exclaimed "oh damn...who's ____" at a girls profile on Instagram (she had big boobs and looked hot) right in front of me also. We also argued about this. He feels its an involuntarily reaction he had + he can't help that. I felt disrespect af. We had also been at a gig just the night before that, we had argued due to him complimenting a random girls hair, feet size (small) and making effort to talk to her (she was there alone, which he had learned while talking to her as I was in the bathroom, so Im trying to be like "he's just friendly it's okay"), he did introduce me as his girlfriend + tell her I liked her style. Its so hard cause it feels like the boundaries are being pushed cause I felt he was so focused on everyone else instead of just us when it was a night for us. He was super sweet at points on this night too and we were laughing, dancing and cuddling to the music. But even she said she was unsure when he approached her, + questioned if I'd be okay with it or if I was just a "cool gf" + how she would have been pissed had it been her bf (we had chatted more into the night and I drove her home to be nice which is when she said this). My bf concentrated on her saying I was a "cool gf" + thinks it's a good thing.This is where I think I could be the asshole.He believes if I was more confident I wouldn't be affected by this, but I feel like these things are knocking my confidence down. his feelings are valid + so are mine but I'm so confused, cause how can I ask him to not do these things or keep boundaries without being controlling + how can both of us respect eachothers feelings + still come to compromise :( but back to the point AITA for this.Edit : he did mention later he had complimented some guys at the gig too (shirt design and muscles) but I hadn't seen that. | AITA (F25)for being hurt and saying my bf(M30) disrespected me when I told him I had a nightmare he cheated + he asked "what'd she look like" | NTA |
10yeqhu | Sometimes my girlfriend doesn’t want to talk about something right away that’s bothering her, and usually out of the blue brings it up later, so I am usually expecting her to communicate something, and try and see it from her point of view.So we had a good day, I was at work, she was at school, we texted a lot, but when I got home, I crashed, and woke up to her calling for the Netflix login info, I know she’s had a problem with my tone and attitude before (which I’m trying to fix) and typically everyone sounds irritated when they wake up, so I text her the info and receive a “Fuck you” a few minutes later, I have the typical “?” response and get the middle finger emoji.Cue a bunch of lost calls and texting “What’s wrong?” and giving up until she calls me almost an hour later, I’m clearly upset by it and she has no idea what I’m talking about, saying she’s not near her phone (she wears headphones a lot so I take her word for it) and when she checks her phone, all she can say is “Oh that was probably one of my friends.” And the lost calls were because she was in a bad reception part of campus. Now I usually can tell when she’s bluffing and I’m really upset she just casually shrugged the message off despite me stressing over it.I tell her I want to get off the phone and she’s upset because I don’t want to talk. I just think it’s such a strange coincidence, especially because the texts were being read. I don’t know what to do, she’s saying she doesn’t like my response to this. Am I the asshole? | AITA for hanging up on my (21M) girlfriend (18F) | NTA |
10yhzwp | My dad and I work in different cities. He is around 60 and has hypertension, diabetes, etc. I feel so overprotective of my mom that I asked her to stay with me in the city I am working in. My dad is also ok with that arrangement. But now I am worried about his health. | AITA for wanting mom to stay with me away from dad? | NAH |
10ydfv2 | Some backstory - one of my family friends does adult content. Not an issue. My issue was I found out she does very risky exhibitionism. At this point I'm a little iffy - I could be on the background of a porno on my happiest day. Then I keep scrolling and see she does unsolicited exhibitionism with online games. This was the line for me. She could be exposing herself to kids and she finds it funny.So I didn't invite her to my wedding. This is NOT the AITA part. I don't give a fuck if you think I'm an asshole for that.The adult worker has a strong history of getting her way into weddings by being the +1 of other family friends, or beg to take someone else's spot. I didn't want to explain to people I didn't want the adult worker at my wedding because no one knew she was an adult worker, let alone the stuff she did as one.So instead of explaining to all our friends all of that... I just didn't invite any of them. To avoid any possibility of her weaseling her way in somehow and having some terrible awkward conversation. It just sucks because I would have liked everyone else to come. And adult worker is such a shut in normally - she won't come to any birthdays or small get togethers, even if they're on her residence! But she'll come to every wedding and big family reunion even when not invited. It just sucks that it ended up this way.TL;DR - AITA for not inviting all my family friends to avoid one person coming? | AITA for not inviting my friends to my wedding to avoid one person? | NTA |
10yhigf | I am a 2nd year university student with 3 friends who are all Mexican. I am not Mexican. I do speak a very good amount of Spanish but because I did not grow up with the culture conversation can be hard for me. My friends are bilingual. Their English is very good as they have been living in the states for several years. At first, they barely spoke Spanish around me. Now I notice that 2 of them are doing it all the time even w me around. The third friend has told me that this is rude bc they are capable of speaking English and they know I have a hard time understanding Spanish and that they are purposefully trying to not include me. I don’t want to be a rude American that says “speak English!!!” I get that this is their first language but it seems as if they are doing this bc they want to talk ab me. They even told me that when they switch to Spanish it is because they want to talk shit. I wanna know am I rude to think they shouldn’t exclude me like this ? | AITA for thinking my friends are talking ab me in another language? | NTA |
10yh272 | Some background :I (30f) decided the new year I was going to start a vending machine business. The first week of January we acquired our first machine and immediately after we were ready for our 2nd machine. We came across a website that we could easily buy another refurbished machine, so we decided to go ahead and jump on it and make the purchase. This was the second week of January. This website sells refurbished machines and they let us know that we would receive our order in about 2 weeks. I then found a location, which you’re actually supposed to find a location first but that’s besides the point. I let our new location know that we would be ready in about 2 weeks that I would have it there as soon as they deliver it. In the meantime it’s about a month down the road and the company has pushed our order out for about 2 more weeks. We have been really patient and honestly haven’t really said much. They claimed one, it was because they had a vacation , and two it was snowing, which is perfectly expected around this time of year. Throughout the almost month and a few days of our first interaction we have purchased 9 more machines. We have learned more about them and have come to the conclusion that we no longer wanted the refurbished machine that we had originally bought because it just wasn’t a brand that would work for us. When we texted him to let him know we would like to cancel the order, he claimed it was the day before he was going to deliver it and that he could not cancel the order because he had already bought the parts to refurbish it, so I would have to pay for the refurbished parts and he would then send me a check for the remainder of the machine. Am I the asshole to think that this is wrong ? He then told me that if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have refurbished the machine. Any tips or advice ? I am open to listening. | AITA for cancelling an order the day before it shipped ? | NTA |
10yccit | Mom told me to wash dishes. I haven't been productive yesterday and rejected two social events just to stay at home and do work today. I said I will be using the dishwasher I bought. My mom tells me to wash the dishes with my hands because she doesn't the water and electricity to be wasted. My parents plan on only using the dishwasher twice per year on new years. I don't get it, if they're going to do this then why have this dishwasher in the first place??? I said I'm going to use the dishwasher that I bought. I bought it for convenience and to save time so now I will use it for those purposes. I'm not going to buy a $600 dishwasher and not use it. My mom said she won't be picking me up from the gym anymore if I don't do the dishes with my hands today. That would cause me to waste probably 45 min to an hour every day waiting for and taking the bus. I told her fuck you. It ended up working out for me because now I'll be using the makeshift treadmill at home instead of going to the gym but yeah. AITA? | AITA for not washing dishes? | ESH |
10ygiuf | I (16 non-binary) have a dad (39 m) that is christian while I am wiccan. A rule in the house is I and my brother (18 m) have to go to church every Wednesday in a previous conversation I have told him I am uncomfortable in going as going makes me feel as Though I man going against the religion. Fast forward to today I asked if he could get me a lighter and some new incense for my alters he denied getting them. When he got home and i ask him if he had an issue with my religion as this is not the first time he has acted weirdly about my religion, he said he would support me in many things but not in my religion. My sister (21) said what he is doing is discriminatory But my dad thinks as he is the adult I should do as he says. So AITA for not conforming to my dad’s religion?Edit: some people have put up a good point about getting a job unfortunately I can’t get a job as I am unable to stand for periods of time due to health issues and normally I would not have an issue with my dad not getting me my religious items but he does get them for other people just not me. The main issue is him forcing me to go to church, he overall makes faces, dismisses, and calls my religion fake.Also my brother is an adult and is required to go to church when he to does not believe in it as well. | AITA for not conforming to my dad’s religion? | NTA |
10yb5xu | My sister (20) recently got into an accident by scraping the side of the car against a tree, and the insurance company deemed it totaled. It used to be my parent's car, but she bought it from them at a discounted price with insurance covered. The car still works, although it has cosmetic defects because of the accident. She has also been talking about buying a new car priced at 50k but settled for a Toyota GR86 at around 36k. My dad did not budge, saying he would not help her buy a new car because of all the accidents she got into (almost three within two months of getting her license and nearly hitting a pedestrian, saying it wasn't her fault). However, my mom is softer and more willing to help. My sister asked my mom for help because she said she helped me get a Camry for school. She furthered her claim by asking why my mom always helps me and not her. She also says that many students work and study simultaneously, so I should be working while I attend university to pay off the Camry instead of being spoiled. Additionally, she said she is the one paying for the car other than the down payment my mom will be helping her out with. I told my mom not to help my sister even though she helped me for several reasons:1) The car with cosmetic defects on the side is still driveable.2) My parents recently bought a new house. Therefore, my mom cannot co-sign for her.3) My parents wanted her to attend college, but she chose to join the workforce against their wishes and brags about how she makes 60K a year.4) In addition to #3, she lives at home without paying any rent or utilities, just food and personal spending. Therefore, I wonder why she even needs my parent's help, especially when she is doing the opposite of what my parents wanted.5) I do not even think she has opened her credit card and, therefore, has no credit history. My mom said my sister told her she has a 600 credit score! (I loled) She will have to take out a loan by herself, which will do more harm to her, especially with such high interest rates. My mom also told me to haggle the price of the GR86 for her (she asked my mom to ask me to do it), so it seems she will get it.AITA for telling my mom not to help my sister buy a car even though she helped me buy one?Edit: everyone is asking how this is my business. I guess I should make it clear that she has disrespected everyone in the family. I do not want to let my parents be humiliated even further by playing goody-two-shoes to get money out of them. | AITA for telling my mom not to help my sister buy a car even though she helped me buy one? | YTA |
10yaark | To start this off I have two teddy’s that i am a little attached too, i have grizzly a pug, and pretzel one of those octopuses that can flip inside outI bring them to school every single day (I’m in secondary school) and as you could probably imagine i get bullied because of itI don’t care since I get bullied anyway, today I was sitting with my friends at lunch, we were sitting at the top of the stairs right next to the English roomWe were joking around, and lemon(fake name) took one of strawberries(also fake name) teddies bc they bring teddies to school to, and threw it down the stairs Strawberry luaghed it off and went to go pick it up, then lemon took grizzly and threw him down the stairs aswell, I luaghed a little bit aswell and went to go get him,I explained to lemon that it annoyed me and I was scared that someone would steal him so I asked them to not do it againLemon agreed with me and said they wouldn’t, but 5 minutes later they took grizzly again and started to hold him over the railingI told them not too but as soon as I stood up to get grizzly they threw him, so I yelled at themSomething close to “don’t fucking do that to him”Lemon luaghed thinking it was funny and strawberry stayed quiet I picked up grizzly and just went back to where I was sitting and went on my phone There was a awkward silence for a minute or two before lemon said sorryI accepted their apology, we were in DT that afternoon and it was time to start cleaning up, I had finished cleaning my stuff up so I went to talk to lemonThey said they didn’t understand why I was so mad earlier, i forgot what I said something about how it’s my teddy so they should touch itThey then said it was kinda funny, I did not agree I understand they may have thought the throwing him down the stairs was funny but me getting mad was not funnyI feel i may have overreacted, I know it’s just a Teddy but I do genuinely have a emotional attachment to it, the fact I named him after one of my favourite YouTubers didn’t help aswell | AITA for getting mad at my friend for throwing one of my teddy’s down the stairs | NTA |
10y9vnk | Me (16M) and my 3 other friends (17F) have a group for about 6 months. we met at school, as we were newbies and didn't have a lot of people to talk to. All 3 have many childhood traumas from having terrible parents and consider me as a support. A few months ago, two of my friends Ammy and Ashley and I noticed strange behavior from our friend Rachel (not her real name). She used to say that she had some disorders like depression and anxiety, so far so good, it's something common in a young teenager with crazy parents, but she always appeared with a new diagnosis when faced with a certain situation or she always blamed some of the traumas her for that situation, and that ended up disturbing her relationship with us and with the rest of the people in the room, so aiming at her good, my friend Ashley and I tried to talk to her about it and tell her that exposing the traumas of this way would be a problem for her, because at some point, someone was going to use that against her and that was disturbing her relationship with other people, but she said she didn't want to talk about it, that she was aware and that we were fake and we spoke badly behind her back. however I took the initiative and tried to resolve it, it happened just before the summer break. summer vacation was over and everything was normal, but on a certain day she said she wanted to talk to us, my friend ammy said she didn't feel like it (they had a previous disagreement related to the same reason). When we went to talk she ran away from us and went to talk bad about us to the other room, then she came back and said that she still wanted to talk, so in the middle of the conversation she said that she felt ignored and that she had trauma from that and that we we were terrible people and even compared Ashley's relationship with our friendship saying that it would have the same end. so AITA for pulling me away from my friend? | AITA for taking me away from my friend? | NTA |
10yeqj6 | I started a new account and since I spent a certain amount of money in the first few months I’m getting $200 back. We are ordering a microwave as the final purchase and my boyfriend is ordering a desk(which he wanted for a while and He will pay for it) we are buying these now because I needed to spend the last amount to qualify for the $200. So I said we should charge it to my card before the deadline. I said maybe we could use the money to pay for the microwave but then later I asked maybe if he could pay for a little bit so I could put more of the $200 towards something. He argues a lot of what I spent on that card was his money as well ( we split everything so if I payed for him on my card it would go on his tab vise versa). I Wanted him to pay maybe $35 of a $107 microwave. Am I the asshole? He’s making me feel selfish but maybe I am? | AITA for wanting my bf to pay for part of the microwave even though I’m getting cash back for my credit card? | YTA |
10ydxgl | Sorry for lousy English since this language is not my native tongue but I’m still keep improving my proficiency. This incident happened yesterday. My friend invited me to an event that gathering all the foreigners with different nationalities for language exchange. So, I agreed to attend and back to my home first for cleaning up myself due to whole day working and sweating. As I was on the train to the station, he texted me the fast food restaurant that he was at that moment, but he didn’t specify the exact location. So I take snapshot of the fast food restaurant that’s closest to station and sent to him so that I can know the exact location. However, he didn’t reply. So I assumed maybe this was the one he mentioned. As I got out from the train and rushed to the restaurant, I found he was not there. After a while, he replied and said this is wrong one, and he already left but didn’t tell where he went to. That moment, I was kinda pissed and just directly looked for the event location by myself with Google map and asking passengers in that area. As I reached the venue, I found he was already there and chatted with a group of people. Then, I approached that group and started to have conversations with the groups, I found he was acting like he didn’t know who I am. Encountered with such response, ok fine, I chatted with other people. After 2 hours, he gave me eye expressions to leave. Ok, I followed him to leave the place. On the way back home, I accused him of being lack of consideration of others and expressed my upset the shitty way he ghosted people. However, he said he can’t text me because he was eating at that moment and being like no wrongdoings at all on him. I replied this is not the excuse that he didn’t tell the exact location for meet up and then left for happy event without informing. After that, I calmed myself down and not to talk about this anymore, then acting like usual way to talk with him. Am I being asshole for telling my anger over his action? This is not the first time I experienced this, he asked me out for dinner then didn’t tell me exact location and let me wandering around and guessing where it is, making me feel like a sucker. I know that I’m not a guy very good in such social events but I just hate the way I have to tolerate such shitty attitude to me and always try to please him without telling my inner feel. I know that he also faced many difficulties and unhappiness in job and study, I am also ok the way he made fun of me because of the stupid things I shared with , but at least being respectful to the friend that even spare private time to accompany him. | AITA Angry with the way my friend treated me. | NTA |
10yddb0 | About 5 years ago, my parents bought a bulldog. I absolutely love him. Before I went to college, I would always play with him, take him on walks, etc. He grew pretty attached to me, especially when I moved away to college. I would come home on weekends and he'd just go ballistic with excitement. I eventually moved back home when COVID hit. That's when things got shaky. My parents ended up getting a divorce and they decided to take 2 dogs each (we had a french bulldog/pug mix, a jack russell, and 2 bulldogs). My mom moved into an apartment and could only take the French bulldog/pug. My dad took the remaining 3 dogs. I lived with my dad for about a year before moving out on my own with my brother.My dad asked if my brother and I wanted to take the bulldogs with us. Now, I was pretty fond of living without dogs. I've always had dogs; this was a breath of fresh air, and the responsibility seemed like a lot for me. My brother wanted the dogs, so I told him I would try to live with them for a month to see how I felt. My dad kept telling me that if I ever were to change my mind he would take the dogs back. Well, a month passed and I decided I'd be much happier without the dogs, or at least without one of them. My bulldog, Oliver, is much larger than his sister, Bluebell. He's also got really bad anxiety and it just felt like too much for me to handle. I told my dad this, but he told me that "his lifestyle had changed" and he doesn't want the bulldogs anymore. Turns out, his girlfriend is very allergic to them and I just found this out yesterday (after months of having the dogs). Now it seems like I'm stuck with these dogs! I work, go to college, and have a social life to balance. On top of that, I plan on moving out of state with my gf in a couple of years for graduate school. It seems like my only option is to rehome him as my mom refuses to take Oliver despite her now living in a house big enough for him. The dog is getting fatter and he doesn't have much space to run around outside in the yard. He isn't very friendly to other dogs due to his anxiety, so walking him has proven to be a challenge. I don't know what to do. I love the dog, but he's just too much for me at this point in my life. I wish my parents didn't throw him onto me because now it feels like I have to make this tough decision alone. My siblings are going to be upset if I rehome him and that feels awful. I just have to know if I'm an asshole for not wanting to take care of him.​Tl;dr: My dad gave a couple of bulldogs to me because his girlfriend is allergic to them. I'm very busy and don't feel ready to take on the responsibility, but nobody in my family is helping me. | AITA for wanting to rehome my dog? | NTA |
10ydag8 | Dear Reddit folks, I apologize in avance for any grammar mistakes in this as english is my secund lenguage and the predictive text on my Phone corrects everything to my Mother tonge (also Im a rambler). So my GF (33F) and I (26M) have been having some frequent dissagrements lately. As a little of background, we have been togeter for about 3 months, she is trully my first serius relationship, she recently got off a serious relationship with another dude who left her without sign of any issue (at least thats what she has told me) and she is in a pretty rough place. The issue is that she keeps making comments about how maybe this thing or the other where "the reason she Was left Last time" and how I need to be sure I want to be with her because Im "too young and lacking experience" and Will end up meeting someone else and Will leave her too. At the begining I Just tryied to reasure her Im sure what I want and everything but today we had an argument via Phone after I got off work. The discussion was about how she isnt responsible enough (she is Still in college and working part time, she lives alone, while I work a full job 7 to 5 and still live at my moms house, she almost daily tell me she doesnt want to go to work and I worry for her Bills), she told me about how I needed to think trough if this is what i want if not to call it quits before we get more involved and honestly I got feed up and told her that maybe I needed to think about it and we where about to call it quits but I told her we need to sit and talk about everything. I feel like a jerk because I like her so much but everyday I see more ways in which we are so different (I dont like to get late to anything, i go to sleep too early, I like to return to my moms before midnight, I dont like to arrive late or miss work)...And as Im writing this she Just sent me a voice note telling me that this isnt going to work, we Will talk later on the Phone. AITA? | AITA for beggining to losse my patience with my GF? | NAH |
10yd2iv | I (20Nb) was in my room relaxing with my boyfriend and Hades, when my mom called because she completely forgot she had to take my Mimaw to an oncology appointment. She called and asked me to stay home until my sister Lex (31) got home from work. **My oldest brother Ty(34) is mentally and physically disabled, my mom is his full time caretaker and is paid by the state and Lex became a part time caretaker for him within the last few years (as in there are timesheets for her too and she gets paid) and Ty is never left home alone** Ok, yeah, I can stay home, BF and I can wait to go to the grocery store. Mom had called at about 2:30, Lex typically gets home not long after that. BF wanted food so we ordered and went to the main floor (my room is in the basement) to wait and eat. I went to the bathroom, checked on Ty (he was all good and there was no sort of emergency) and then waited with my BF. A bit after food arrived Lex got home, so 3:15-3:20ish. We finished eating and Lex said « Before you go back down, Ty has been screaming » he hadn’t been before she got home, and even if he had I’d check on him, but sometimes he just yells. So I said ok, mom just asked me to stay until you got home. She gave me a weird angry laugh and when I went back to my room with BF she slammed the basement door shut. I feel like I am kind of an Ahole, but at the same time I’ve repeatedly expressed over the years that I am not comfortable with the responsibility of taking care of him, I am not mentally or physically capable, as well as I lose track of time and get too easily distracted to properly and consistently remember to check in on him. Mentally due to sensory issues and many other things, physically because I am not strong enough and struggle to lift and move Ty. I did what my mom asked and stayed home. She did not specifically say to go and take care of Ty. If you don’t specify certain things or give me instructions I won’t know that it was just supposed to be part of the task. I feel bad but also annoyed because it’s not my job and not my fault that it wasn’t specifically communicated to me to do.A text from my mom after Lex got upset with me **By the way today was so last minute so I am not the least bit surprised that it was not clear that I was asking you to also take care of Ty** | AITA for not taking care of my disabled brother after my sister (a pt caretaker) got home | NTA |
10yceog | Hello.I (28) am planning to enter an art competition where a coworker Z (18-19ish?) entered. I need to state that while I do plan to join, it is only because I like competition, plus I want to add more things in my portfolio and making myself more visible. I found out about the competition from their entry posted online, and they knew I knew about them entering the competition.Z is a college student, and college students here need to get some number in credits to graduate. If I did my research right (this system didn't exist back then when I was in university), one way to get more credits is to join a competition and/or win in it (winning brings more credits than just joining).Now, I'm not that confident about my art. I am just a freelancer who started drawing only for anime and manga, while they are more of the artsy art student. However, I am still worried, what if I ended up winning instead of them...? I would be disrupting them in getting credits to graduate earlier, right? No, even if I don't end up winning, I wonder if I would be an asshole for joining a competition knowing they entered? Or would thinking like this means I'm infantilizing them? | WIBTA if I joined a competition my co-worker needed to win? | NTA |
10ycdrz | I used to be in a friend group of 3 and this group wasn't the most in touch with talking about our feeling. (I know kind of toxic already) we all knew that some of us didn't know how to approach or give advice to each other so we would just keep it to ourselves or talk to our therapists. my one friend got sober and we were so happy for them and we would try our hardest to see them when we could but we had other things like, work, school, trying to find work or family drama. So it was difficult sometimes to see them. When they got out of treatment we were so exited and I personally tried to think of non drinking activity's to do with them in the summer since its now winter and there's noting much to do especially since we liked to do separate things to do in the winter. personally I liked to drink in the winter and I didn't want to invite them because of craving and I thought it would be rude to drink Infront of them and the other friend liked to go snowboarding and doing other winter actives'. Moving forwards into what I want to talk about. in my personal life things were stressful with job findings and family issues and finding a place to move into. I was drinking a lot and had little to no time to see my friend due to my drinking the other friend was worried so she would invite me out of my toxic household. sooner or later the friend who got sober brought up how much time me and her were spending without them.... we both wanted to have this conversation in person because texting doesn't do any good especially for how deep it was. they started to go off at us calling us bad friends, teaming up on her, and said how we did nothing for them (there's more) it really hurt because me and them were friends for 5 years and we always bounced back... we waited one day and we both asked them if we could meet up and have the talk, they left us both on read or just sent streaks, we asked again, left one read... then they unadded us on everything. I feel like I'm an asshole, but we tried to respect them in being sober and we got shat on. | WIBTA, just flat out am I? | NTA |
10yc87k | Hello AITA!So tonight I (36M) arrived at work, after getting changed and settled down I received a chain of screenshots from my wife (4XF) of text messages between the builder doing a job in our house (details in a bit), I phoned my wife to make sure she was okay (she's very upset) then sent a long message to the builder saying he was behaving in a unacceptable manor.The job in question in removing one side of a chimney stack in the kitchen diner and placing some larder units in there to save space.We are growing ever more frustrated as this is supposed to be a 4 day job and so far a delay in structural engineering cals and steel I-beam supply has caused the job to have taken the 4 days and looks to be 2 or so more. (Builder suggested the engineer \[who gave us the calcs an hour after my wife chased him, but a day late\] and steels supplier who gave us the steels an extra day and a half late \[even though our builders team left site to help the steels supplier finish a job he was doing elsewhere\])So, tonight my wife received a number (4) of messages whilst she was out asking for payment for the steels (which has cost the builder about 3 times as much as quoted), after seeing the messages she replied that she would pay once she was home in an hour or so, he said okay and about 55 mins later messaged again to prompt her payment as the steels supplier was "blowing up his phone with calls for payment"So I spoke with my wife and said I would speak to him, originally when I got home from work and after I slept so in the afternoon, but after a prompt of my wifes own, decided to send a message tonight:"Builder, if you needed money to cover the steels, why didn't you ask before you left the house earlier, we were happy to do what we can to help out? The way you have chased payment from my wife tonight (let alone not mentioning anything about it to me) is completely inappropriate. I understand that you have paid out more for the steels than you expected, and i appreciate everything you've done to drive the project forward with things going the way they have, but tonight was totally unacceptable. I can see where you are coming from don't get me wrong, but the way you have gone about this problem tonight is just horrible. I am not okay with how much you have chased us for an unexpected payment whilst also saying that you have not been able to contact the building inspector, Steels Supplier let you down even after that massive helping hand you gave him to try and get the steels done on time and you still defend him, but we've been delayed and then you've chased Wife, not even a message to me, for an extra payment, that doesn't seem fair? When you come in tomorrow I expect you to apologize to Wife"Is that an arsehole message to have sent or am I justified? Wife is really upset, we've had a shit week and this guy is just shitty icing on a subpar cake. | AITA Snapped at builder | YTA |
10yc6hx | I’m currently in the interns dormroom, in the middle of my night emergency department shift. I get at most 2h of sleep and my coworker (in the same room) is snoring like a bull and I can’t for the life of me fall asleep. I tried moving around in my bed and the good ol’ « light whistle to make her stop » (doesn’t work). She doesn’t get much more sleep than I do, would I be the asshole for gently nudging her ? Should I instead shove a baby carrot in her nostrils so she breathes through the mouth ? | WIBTA for waking up my roommate | YWBTA |
10ybx2e | I (21M) love my GF, Keira (20F). We get along quite well, share many hobbies and have fun together and we supported each other in some of the most horrible moments of our lives.We have only one major difference: she is a night animal, I'm not.To me, "being up late" means going to sleep at 2-3AM. To her, being up late means going to sleep when the sun rises.She loves clubbing until morning one time a week or every two weeks. The nightclub in our city is basically a 10x10 hole were people have a personal space of 10cm\^2 because they always allow people in even when the place is full. The music is so loud that I could scream in Keira's ear and she would still not hear me. She thinks it's fun, I think if Hell exists, this is a good preview.Despite that, I still go with her every time because I want her to have fun. She knows how I feel and is thankful I do this for her.Few days ago, few of her friends invited us to a new nightclub in the next city ( They pick us up with their car). This place was luckily bigger than the one we usually go but it had one big problem: it didn't have a "smoke free" area. You could smoke everywhere and once we were inside, we basically found ourselves in a cloud of cigarette's smoke.I hate cigarettes. I suffered from asthma in the past and, while it got a lot better growing up, breathing in a hall full of people who smoke is not exactly a great idea.We arrived at 22 and 1 hour later I started feeling sick. I got out for a few minutes to take some fresh air and I started feeling better.At 22.30 I got back in and Keira was searching for me. We danced a bit and chatted with our friends in a corner until midnight.I suddenly started feeling really sick and got out without even explaining what was happening.Keira followed me and stayed with me until I felt a bit better. I told her I preferred not to get back in but that I was ok waiting for her outside if she wanted to stay a bit more. She insisted we went home with a cab and she went back inside to say goodbye to her friends.I waited for half an hour for her but she didn't come back. I thought about going back in to search for her but I still felt sick so I called a cab (took 20 minutes to arrive) and went home alone and left her a message on the phone.She called me the morning after, angry that I left. Apparently when she got in, her friends insisted for one final drink before going and since I had said I was ok waiting for her a bit more, she accepted. She got out at 2AM. I had left 30 minutes before.AITA? | AITA for leaving the club night early alone? | NTA |
10y9ci6 | Idk this is something small but I have Reddit open rn so might as well ask a question I’ve been thinking about for a bit:Basically, for the past few years my aunt (actually, two of them have been doing this, but they’re from different sides of the family so it’s not really relevant to group them together) have been giving me gift cards for my birthday and Christmas. Which is very nice! I appreciate the gesture! But they give me gift cards to stores I do not have any desire to shop at (mostly makeup stores, and I do not wear makeup). I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the gift, but I either end up accidentally letting it expire, giving it to my sister, or struggling to find something to buy with it and having an unpleasant time. It feels like I’m wasting their money (because I don’t often use or wear the things I end up buying when I DO buy things) but I don’t want to be rude and ungrateful.edit: typo that was bothering me | WIBTA if I told my aunt to stop giving me gift cards I don’t like? | NTA |
10yc8n7 | This literally happened today (all fake names for privacy) I'll try and make this short.So me (14m) and "friend" Ally(14f) were in our 6th period I finished my work and wanted to draw I thought it would be funny to draw me, her and our other friends Wade and Jaiden all weird and squiggly after class I showed her and she got upset and walked away she didn't say anything just walked away when we got to 7th period Wade asked what was wrong with ally and I said it was probably because of the drawing and showed him he thought it was funny and loved it I decided to not talk to ally and sat with my friends Kim and Layla Kim told me Ally was telling people I stabbed her in the back and how I'm a fake friend for drawing her insecurity she came over asked to talk I said not rn but maybe tomorrow Wade then came over and said Ally wants to know why I won't apologize to her and that I knew she was insecure about her looks I said I didn't know that and I never said I wouldn't apologize. Kim and Layla said I shouldn't apologize and I did nothing wrong and that she's an insecure B.I was going to apologize but now I am starting to feel like I did nothing wrong and I'm thinking about just completely ignoring her and not talking to her anymore. she has said many mean things to me that have made me really upset and insecure but I never reacted like this and think it is sort of unreasonable considering the things she has said about and to me.So AITA for drawing a picture that made my "friend" insecure and for not apologizing and WIBTA if I just stopped talking to her altogether?Note: before today I did not know she was insecure about her looks. | AITA for drawing my "friends" insecurity? | YTA |
10ybfbu | My (34m) wife (31f) believes my parents are racist, which I know for a fact they are not. They have ALWAYS been republican. They voted for Trump because of part loyalty mostly. My wife hates that, but they’re not racist. Just republicans. They know I voted for Biden and they don’t care. My wife is mixed race, but looks white. When my wife straightens her hair, she looks like a fully white woman, but she identifies as mixed anyway. My parents don’t have a problem with her race at all. They think she’s very beautiful too.It all started to get really weird when our daughter was born two years ago. My daughter was born with blue eyes and my mother was very happy about that. Not because she hates people with brown eyes, but she just thought my daughter had beautiful blue eyes. If I had married a white woman, my mother would have still gushed about my daughters blue eyes. I know that for a fact. My wife read into it A LOT and acts as if my mother was some kind of aryan supremacist by being pleased with my daughter’s eye color. Our daughter DOES have beautiful eyes. This past Christmas mother bought our daughter toys and my wife complained because one doll in particular had blonde hair and our daughter has wavy brown hair. She thinks our daughter should play with dolls that look like her. I played with action figures when I was a kid even though I don’t have abs. It makes no sense to me. My wife asked for the receipt so that she could get our daughter a doll that “looks more like her”. My mother disagreed and said she picked the doll because it looks most like our daughter. My wife said “She is not white.” And the whole exchange got awkward. I can’t stress enough—my wife practically looks Italian. Our daughter is close to 80% white, and she DOES look white. It just felt like she was trying to bait my mother and my mother didn’t take the bait. She just said she didn’t keep the receipt. My mother has been put off by my wife since, and has stopped texting her Bible verses like she used to.Yesterday, I was on the phone with my father and he didn’t realize he was on speaker. My wife and I have a trip coming up in March and we were planning to leave our daughter with my MIL. I told my dad this and he jokingly asked “Are we not woke enough to babysit?” My wife heard him. It was a stupid joke, but it was JUST a joke. My father is not racist. I got off the phone and my wife essentially says “when conservatives say woke, they’re dog whistling the N-word.” I blew up on her, which I now regret, but my parents are literally HARMLESS, and they LOVE their granddaughter, and I feel like she wants me to hate my parents as much as she seems to. I told her that I know my parents better than her, and if they were racist, I’d be the first to admit it. They’re literally just regular old white people who don’t know how to talk to her without her FINDING something to be mad at and I lost my temper. AITA? | AITA for knowing my parents aren't bad people? | NTA |
10ya40o | Gamer question. So I went to there house and I was completely chill no rudeness and was as friendly as possible. But, some of the people kept on saying that me only playing dedede was annoying them. I didn't wanna switch because I like that character and he is the only one I have experience playing. I don't know how serious they were but after they thought of me as a ‘troll’ when I did nothing rude. | AITA for only playing king dedede in smash ultimate with people I’m acquainted with? | NTA |
10yot8y | My hsuband and I have 2 kids my stepdaughter(F14) and our son(M6)My husband's family and I don't get along. Honestly I think we are all at fault for that. When I first met them I thought they are a bunch of snob assholes so I didn't act very friendly towards them and they are, in fact a bunch of snob assholes so they weren't very friendly to me either. We got into a lot of fights and it was really bad to a point that they said they don't want to have anything to do with me, my husband or any of our future kids. They only wanted to stay in contact with my husband's daughter who was 4 back then. My husband agreed to this because he thought it would be unfair for his daughter to lose her family because of us.It is now a problem for us because my son has started to notice that he is being treated unfairly. He hasn't even met my in laws. All he knows is that his sister gets a lot of good gifts for christmas birthdays and other occasions and he doesn't.For christmas they bought a ps5 for her. We made it clear to her that since she needs to use our tv to play she has to share with her brother. Of course she threw an tantrum that it's her console and he is going to break it but she finally agreed.4 days ago was stepdaughter's birthday and guess what she got? A tvI told my husband this has to stop. We can't let them treat our son like that. We told them that unless they start treating the kids equally they won't be able to see stepdaughter again.They became very angry and called us assholes for taking "their child" away from them. They kept sending texts and calling us different names so we had to block them.When we told stepdaughter she had another tantrum. She was crying and yelling at us for an hour. She hasn't been talking to us in 4 days and doesn't come out of her bedroom and is crying the entire time. My husband thinks we are assholes and should just let her see his family but I'm not sure.Edit: when I said in laws I meant my husband's siblings not his parentsI have raised my stepdaughter her whole life so yes I'm her mom and that's what she calls meI didn't stop my in laws from having a relationship with my son, it was THEIR choice. We tried to invite them to meet our son but they refused. My husband has even been trying to fix things with them, he loves his family and is hurting a lot by not seeing them but they don't want to fix things | AITA for not allowing in laws to see my stepdaughter anymore? | YTA |
10yrja3 | There's a small bar in my town I recently started going to. They have trivia night Friday night. I started going a few weeks ago, and after my second week there one of the regulars at trivia told me that trivia was something he had set up with the bar owner and I wasn't welcome. He doesn't work for the bar, so I told him he couldn't really tell me I was unwelcome.He explained that trivia night was a guys thing and a safe space for them from the judgement of women. I told him he shouldn't have it in a public bar then. Last week he left "in protest" of me being there, and his team was upset, because they didn't do as well as usual. I told my boyfriend and he thinks I'm being mean to the guy and should try to see his point of view. Maybe I'm a little cold-hearted, but I don't really care about that guy, even though he was there first. | AITA for ruining a guy's favorite spot? | NTA |
10yq6s4 | If this post comes off as blunt, I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to get to the point and keep it as short as I can.My cousin passed in an accident a last week, which is devastating. What's going on now is that me and my fiance have our engagement party coming up soon. My mom is telling us to postpone it because everyone in the family is going through a tough time right now. I told her we've everything is set and it's going to be a hassle to change it all now. The venue does allow changes, but the earliest availability they have after our date is in April. No one postpones something like this last minute and we don't want to have to wait until then, and I told my mom I'm truly sorry for what happened but people attending our party can cheer them up after this tragedy.She said I was acting selfish.AITA? | AITA for not postponing my engagement party? | YTA |
10ysqq6 | My kid's class is having a pizza party today and for the last week her teacher has been asking for parents to send in $5 for it. My kid has disordered eating do to mental health issues I won't be getting into. (She is currently in therapy for this and other issues.) So she doesn't like pizza. She will eat bread sticks sometimes but only if it is a specific (special order) kind from a specific restaurant. They are not ordering from this specific restaurant and I would not request for the teacher to have them make it to my kid's liking. That'd be rude and selfish. On top of that my kid is lactose intolerant so eating pizza would give her a tummy ache anyways. I explained all this to her teacher in an email, stating I wouldn't be sending in money because my kid can't/won't eat pizza. (I made sure to pack my kid a lunch which is what I do everyday considering her disordered eating.) Her teacher replied saying that sending in money wasn't an option but that if my kid didn't want to eat pizza she didn't have to. I'm not sending money in for a pizza party my kid can't participate in. Sure $5 isn't a lot but when you're poor af, it's not nothing. Does this make me TA? | AITA for not sending money in for my kid's class pizza party? | NTA |
10ytkyh | My husband and I (f48) had good jobs so we got the opportunity to save and buy a house when we got married. Then, as my husband loved to fish, we saved money again to buy a house in a lake near our city. We have two kids Theo (m29) and Lindsey (f26). We used to have family vacations in the lake house quite often as it wasn't that far. The house was under my husband's name. My husband got sick five years ago with a terrible illness, he fought all he could but he ended up passing away a year after his diagnosis. As a way to be precautions he passed the properties to me and also the money he had saved up (we had separate savings accounts). He never told me what to do with the money or anything, he just passed all out to me with the help of a lawyer. He also wrote a will for some of his beloved items (his grandfather's car as example) things that weren't expensive but had a emotional value. He left some stuff for me, some for our kids and the rest of his family and friends. After his parting we started a yearly tradition to go there in his birthday to remember him. Around like 8-9 months ago my son came up to me and asked me what plans did I had for the house, he explained that he wanted to buy a house before his marriage and would love to buy the lake house. I told him I needed to think about it, but then I agreed. My son reminds me of my husband a lot, he loves nature as much as his dad did and he loves that house too, so I knew that it would be in great hands. We did it all legally and the house was sold market price range. My son and his fiance plan to move soon.My daughter came home to visit me the other day, she asked me if we were going to the lake house to celebrate my husband's birthday again this year. I told her that we should ask Theo but I'm sure that's not going to be a problem for him. She asked my should we ask him and I told that since it's his house now he gets to decide that kind of stuff. She went crazy when she found out Theo had brought the house. She had the nerve to tell that she feels robbed by me because that's her house too and I didn't asked her. I had to remind her that legally that house is mine, and that I had sell it to her brother, not just some stranger. We ended up having a big argument over this. She said I broke her dad's promise because he told them both that the house would always be theirs to go on vacations, it would never sell or something like that. I didn't knew that as he never told me so, he didn't gave me any instructions about the house. At last I told her to get over it and she left. She also blocked my number and I can't call her. I think she's overreacting, the house is her brother's home now, it's not like we lost it forever to some stranger. My son and his fiance will sign a prenup too, so in case of a divorce he won't lose the house. But also I understand that she feels heartbroken over that promise that I had no idea of. | AITA for selling my house to my son without telling my daughter? | YTA |
10ysgsy | My mom lives in our old house and since my father passed away she expects me to help her take care of it. Not a problem. I have a great job and they paid for my education. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be where I am. But I am not a handy person. What I have is a group of friends who include several useful trades. For example my best friend is an electrician and she is married to a plumber. In return for my friends help I do a fair bit of professional work for them. However some stuff isn't in their scope. There was a pothole in the road in front of my mom's house and she couldn't get the city to fix it. I tried explaining that the city has lots of potholes to deal with and that I'm not Ron Swanson. She said my father had fixed a pothole before. I tried hiring a contractor to fix it but they can't do private work on public property. Then I remembered a news article I read about some town in England where a guy went around drawing dicks in potholes. My father a a lot of spray paint in the garage so I grabbed some and went out and drew a masterpiece. Very veiny and everything. It made the local news. The city fixed it within a week. My mom was mortified. She said that I am an immature criminal and that she is embarrassed to think her child would do such a thing. My sister called me up from her house to tell me off as well. Then texted me thank you because she was tired of hearing about the pothole too. So my mom is upset with me for not handling it in a mature and responsible way. I'm not a pothole guy. I tried dealing with the city and I tried paying for it to get fixed. I just wanted to stop hearing about it. I think she should be happy the pothole is fixed. AITA for using the prudes in my city to get expedited public works attention? | AITA for drawing d**k graffiti around a pothole. | NTA |
10yqnoa | me and two of my best friends are supposedly going to our girls trip in another three months. One of my girlfriends (Sarah) is going to get married this year, so we thought its gon be a nice and cute girls trip only three of us (another one is Tammy) They mean a lot to me and we have been besties since we were kids in primary schools, and now we’re already 24 hehe. so we planned this trip because Sarah is going to get married by the end of this year *and its unlikely for her to travel alone after getting married because a culture thing* we have been planning for this Hawaii trip for months, and suddenly this morning, they told me in group chat that her fiancé and Tammy’s boyfriend are going to come along. Here before, we have traveled for short trips before, and honestly I don’t really vibe with her fiancé, not because he is mean or abusive, but it’s just I could never be myself when we’re hanging out if there’s her fiancé. I never expressed my dislike to her fiancé because obviously Sarah is my bestfriend and i love her as long as he treats her well. But, she told me on the group chat that her fiancé is going to tag along, as well as Tammy’s boyfriend too. I am single and i dont mind thirdwheeling honestly. It is just i feel like it’s not what i signed up for.so after a while of thinking, i decided to just not go, even after i have bought the ticket which is around 1000 usd and non refundableI typed a long essay, i said they still have to go because this trip would be Sarah’s fiance first long travel trip, and they’re not going to go to honeymoon too. So this is possibly like their honeymoon/prewed photoshoot trip too. But they think I’m selfish for not tagging along and they really want me to come because the girls trip will still be girls trip as long as three of us are there. I explained to them abt how it is actually not cool to change plans but I completely understand because she really wanna go there with her man because its a long travel trip too so she doesnt wanna waste it only for girls trip. But i think my feelings are valid too, apart from the fact I don’t really like her fiancé, it is just not right to change the plans, but guilt trip me and expected me to give in and adjust to the plans. I have tried to explain nicely, but Sarah said something like “You don’t understand how hard it is for us to be the middle person”From the texts, i think they expected me to just go along with the trip and say nothing… but honestly i dont want it, i really WOULD LOVE TO go back there travel especially with my girls.. *but you can’t tell me the vibes and DYNAMICS would still be the same with their partners coming along…* | AITA for not goin to girls trip bc their partners goin to tag along? | NTA |
10ym281 | Sorry for my english, it’s not my first language.Okay, so me (20F) and my bf (24M) have anniversary 2 weeks after Valentine’s. A few months ago, we decided to just chill at home on Valentine’s and on the day of our anniversary visit a famous burger restaurant nearby, we haven’t been there yet because it’s expensive and we are both students still. However, 3 days ago I was doing some stuff on the internet and found a (in my country popular) website that offers coupons for from helicopter rides, winetasting etc. to 3 - 7 days long stays in hotels with wellness etc. I looked for a bit and found some great offers, sent it to my bf and ultimately we agreed to book a hotel stay instead of the expensive restaurant. It’s for 3 days, unlimited pool and sauna time and all inclusive and it’s affordable for us. It also stated that if one of the days you book the stay for is Feb 14th, you will get a back massage for two and a bottle of champaigne for free. We decided to book it for 13th - 15th. Yesterday, my friend of 10+ years (20F) told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We’ve been talking a lot and got good food, I comforted her etc and then she told me we should do something together on Valentine’s since she’s alone. I told her that I’m sorry but I’ve already purchased a hotel stay with my bf and it’s also for our anniversary so I won’t bail on it and Valentine’s itself isn’t such a big deal. She got a bit mad and started saying that I’m insensitive, we should go clubbing and drinking and I should just move the stay. The thing is that there’s additional fee if you want to rearrange the time of your stay less than 7 days before you’re supposed to be there. She proceeded to in my opinion guilttrip me and in the end I got annoyed and told her that I’m not responsible for her relationship and that I’m sorry but I knew it’s gonna happen sooner or later and that she chose to ignore me trying to help her get out of her insanely toxic relationship and kept being naive. (Her bf cheated on her and lied to her multiple times since the beginning of their relationship, some time ago told her he had another gf the whole time but apparently he broke up with her and my friend still stayed with him. Also switched schools to go into the same school as him even tho it’s a school focused on subjects she doesn’t find interesting. I told her multiple times to please open her eyes and leave him but she refused to. He dumped her for another woman in the end.) She then proceeded to curse at me and left my house crying and is now not talking to me. Have I said too much or was I insensitive? I feel like she genuinely is annoying me lately with her naivity and refusing to accept help so I may have snapped. | AITA for refusing to spend Valentine’s with my friend who’s after a breakup and telling her I’m not responsible for her relationship? | NTA |
10ytanq | We're separated and share custody. Every year around his birthday, he gets his "medical maintenance" like dental exams, physicals, shots. He's turning 9 and my ex said she'd schedule his physical. For stuff like that, I usually take him because obviously he does not want his mom in the room when he has to pull his pants down. He doesn't think twice around me and he likes his doctor. A good doctor is hard to find and my son has never seen any other doctor.My ex said she had scheduled it but would leave work early to take him. I said that he's turning 9 and this is something that he's going to want me to do. She said that it was fine because she was going to a new doctor. The doctor is closer to her place AND was a mom of one of his classmates. I believe the mom is trying to build her practice and what better way to start than a physical like a dentist doing a cleaning? My ex was even going to send over our son's records to her office.I told her that she had no idea what she was doing. Our son isn't going to be comfortable having a physical done by a woman who happens to be his friend's mom in front of his own mom. It'd be so outside his comfort zone that it'd be creepy.We argued about it and what it came down to was that she doesn't want to drive to his usual doctor because it's "too far" so she wants something close to her. She said sne doesn't want to spend 45 minutes in traffic the next time our son needs a doctor's appointment like she did when he needed stitches on his chin. I told her that's our son's usual doctor is good and that's why everyone wants to see him. This isn't about what's convenient for her. Grow up. I do lots of things I don't want to for my kid but I do it.I ended up going over her head and canceling the one my ex made. She's mad at me for doing that without letting her know until I scheduled one with his usual doctor. | AITA for canceling a doctor's appointment that my son's mom made for him? | NTA |
10ykdfp | So me and my partner have been together for around a year and a half, and of course she’s getting antsy about marriage and kids.A long time ago her dad mentioned to her that if we were to get married, he’d put in £4000 towards it. Holy shit that’s amazing.This got us budgeting and we decided we could both take out a £7000 loan on top of this to pay for the wedding and honeymoon, we agreed and it wasn’t spoke of again.Present day, once again wedding talk is the topic and she shyly brings up her dad recently told her it’s actually £10,000… holy shut what a guy.I suddenly chirp up with, “wow we only need to take out a 4-5k loan now each, this is great!”.She suddenly calls me “pathetic” and that she doesn’t need to take out a loan as well as her father has gone above and beyond.“You need to man up and stop trying to make things 50/50 as it’s pathetic and selfish”AITA for assuming this was a gift to us, I assumed it was 10k to both of us and we’d each put in 4k for 18k total? | AITA for wanting to split her dads wedding money? | NTA |
10yp5x5 | My husband's older sister has two daughters with her ex-husband. SIL named the oldest, while her ex-husband named the youngest. The oldest has never been fond of her name and has outright hated it since she turned 6. She went by a nickname her grandmother used for a couple of years but then outside the family, with the exception for my husband and I, she went with a name more like her sister's.I know how she feels because I was Emily when I was a kid (what my parents named me) while my brother had a much cooler name and I was so jealous too. So I changed it to be something I actually liked and wanted. My niece knows this which is why, I think, she can speak to me so openly about this stuff. She knows I won't judge. That I won't tell her to keep her name to make her mom happy or that her name is beautiful and traditional and she should be proud of it.She was extra on edge about her name a few weeks ago. She's 15 now and I know how awkward it can be to hate the name your family calls you. I told her to maybe think about if she'd use the name the rest of us use when she's older and pointed out she could change her name when she's 18 if she wants. This helped to brighten her up.SIL overheard us talk and came after me, asking why I'd encourage her daughter to throw her name away and how dare I go behind her back to say something like that. I told her it wasn't going behind her back. It was just a private moment between us and it came up. She said it's bad enough one of her kids having a hideous name, without both of them having them. I didn't say much else because this is my niece's decision and her own feelings on her name, not my own.Some of my husband's other family members were told about this by SIL and they all agree with SIL that I was wrong. SIL is still angry too, and even more so because my niece didn't reassure her that she'd keep the name.My husband told them they were being ridiculous but I do have to ask if I'm TA for what I said to my niece? | AITA for telling my niece she can always change her name in the future? | NTA |
10yqgx3 | So 40 years ago my mother in law used to occasionally clean houses for people for a little extra cash. Two years ago when my daughter was a newborn (around 2 months old) my husband and I decided to move 5 hours away from where we were living at the time. Keep in mind, I was a first time mom to a newborn, my husband was working around 60 hours per week , and my 17 (at the time) year old stepdaughter was also living with us. I did ALL of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare with the exception of my husband’s laundry. My stepdaughter didn’t even do anything around the house. The only time she ever left her room was to get food, pile dishes in the sink, shower, or leave to see friends. And she wasn’t in school. When we moved, my MIL offered to do our moving out deep clean so that the landlord wouldn’t take it out of our deposit as stipulated in our lease. So my husband went with her to help. But the whole time they were there I kept getting snarky texts from her saying things like “when was the last time you took a sponge to the radiators” or “when was the last time you moved the couch to vacuum”. Look, my house wasn’t dirty or unhygienic. But moving a couch while I was pregnant or managing a newborn wasn’t going to happen. I kept the house clean, but the little deep cleaning things were let go from about the time I was 8.5 months pregnant. Fast forward to now, I’m 6.5 months pregnant and I spend my day wrangling a toddler, cleaning the house, cooking etc. My stepdaughter no longer lives with us so it’s just me, my husband, and our daughter. My husband helps with some things like taking out the garbage and grocery shopping now since we don’t live close enough for me to walk to the store like we used to (I don’t drive). My husband told me the other day that his mom said she would like to come down a few weeks before the baby is due to do a deep clean as a baby gift for us. Honestly, the thought makes me so anxious and uncomfortable. I just imagine her never ending snarky comments and it really doesn’t seem worth it to me. I keep the house clean and while it would be great to have a good, deep cleaning done before we bring home another baby, I just feel like it would stress me out. But my husband says his mom really wants to do this as her “gift” to us. WIBTA if I put my foot down and decline her gift? | WIBTA if I declined my MIL’s “big baby gift”? | NTA |
10ypykx | For context my partners sister can’t have kids, so they have to inject her with eggs and so on. This cost around 10.000 dollars to do in my country. Now this is a lot of money. Here were we live we have like two free try before it costs money. They succeeded the first time and now have a child who is 1years old. They now want another one. Second try did fail and now they have to pay 10.000 dollars to have new eggs.Here the thing. They don’t have the money. And we don’t even have that money in our savings. We have like 6.000 dollars in savings. We save alot of money now to buy a house and travel before we get our own kids. I’m soon 30 years old and have alot of anxiety with how I have been poor with savings over the years.. so we have decided to save 1000 dollar per month so we quickly get our numbers up. Things are going well and I finally feel some sort of comfort with our economy. I see a future and now she wants to give it all away to her sister.I said no, we have our own dreams to follow. House, travel and kids. That’s why we save our money and now she wants to give up our dreams so her sister can have her second child? I don’t agree and we’re fighting about it and she calls me an asshole for my opinion about it.AITA? | AITA for not giving my partners sister money? | NTA |
10yryep | I (29M) am an individual on the spectrum, and am very firmly an introvert. I have a limited tolerance for socializing, and once that limit is hit, I like to be by myself. My mother (61F) and I...don't see eye to eye. She has very opiniated views of what a fulfilling life should look like, and tries to impress them on me. She's always tried to openly or secretly make me do things I'm not particularly interested in. She cannot fathom that different people have different definitions of satisfaction.So a week ago she walked into my computer room and started a conversation, asking how life was going, how my job was, etc etc. Told her I was doing fine and I'm not experiencing any particularly hardship. (Side note: The house I'm staying in technically belongs to my parents, however I'm paying the mortgage and assuming the responsibilities of keeping the house running. Rent to own if you will.) She then goes on to say that she feels bad that she couldn't do more for me. I say I appreciate the thought but I'm content as is.She keeps the conversation in the same vein, noting that I don't go out often, or that I don't seem to have very many friends, or that I'm always in the computer room doing my own thing. I tell her once again that I'm not unhappy with the situation."Well I just feel sorry for you." she says.I got frustrated and said: "Mother, as I have stated, I am not dissatisfied with how my life is going right now. I enjoy my time by myself. If you want to feel sorry for me, please go do it somewhere else."I acknowledge that she very well just cares for me and my wellbeing. I do feel as though I may have gone a little too far.So, AITA? | AITA for telling my mother to go be sorry for me somewhere else? | NTA |
10yrrn5 | So I'm out of work atm and having a hard time, my dad asked me if I wanted to give him a hand with a couple of jobs (he's an engineer) I say yeah that would be great and he picks me up in the morning to go to the job. On the way he picks up his mate (we will call him Phil for now). So I've known Phil all my life he's been my dad's best friend for as long as I can remember, Phil has always been the kind of family friend who pops over brings gifts and would bring sweets or money for me and my brother when we were little. We never really spoke to Phil we just always thought he was nice because he would bring us stuff. Fast forward I'm 28 and I've never had a proper conversation with Phil but now I'm stuck in a van with him and my dad for a couple of days for this job. So as soon as Phil gets in the van he makes a joke about how he's not trying to touch my leg whilst getting his seat belt on but how he might do later, I awkward giggle and shrug it off. He makes a few more odd comments about me being pretty and odd comments about warming up by cuddling me, I was feeling pretty uncomfortable by this but my dad wasn't saying anything so I didn't want to cause a scene, I had just never been spoken to this way from Phil before. I wasn't laughing at these comments anymore or even responding to them so I was getting more and more uncomfortable the more they happened. After a couple of hours of feeling grossed out and uncomfortable we get to site but we are early so we have to wait, at this point my dad says to Phil he stinks, he works on a farm so you can imagine the smell, this then leads eventually to my dad joking about when I was 4 months old having stinky nappies and having to change them and putting powder on my bits... I make it clear i am not comfortable talking about my baby bits around a 70 year old man and ask can we not talk about my bits in front of Phil to which he responds "I don't mind, I'm just jealous". I don't respond to this I'm just in shock My dad laughs along with him and the conversation moves on to something else. For the rest of the day all I can think is how gross a 'joke' that was and how I don't want to be left alone with this man who I always thought was so nice.A few days go by and my dad calls me to ask if I want to come to another job, I explain that I'm only willing to come if Phil doesn't come along too, my dad is shocked by this and reiterates how great Phil is. I further explain how uncomfortable he made me feel and how hurt I am that my dad didn't say anything after he "joked" about being jealous of touching my 4 month old bits! My dad told me I'm being stupid and I'm taking it the wrong way (not sure how else to take it) and that I shouldn't be dictating to him what he should do when he's doing me a favour by giving me a bit of work and that he's known Phil a lot longer than me and that he's a good guy.I understand that's his friend but I'm his daughter, is it unreasonable to ask that my dad defend me when his mate makes me feel so uncomfortable? | AITA for asking my dad to defend me from his creepy friend? | NTA |
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