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10yyf24 | I (31M) recently made a new friend (29F). We met 5 months ago at a birdwatching festival, and had very similar interests and careers, so we became friends. FYI, this is completely platonic and my wife is very friendly with her as well.Me and my new friend often text each other about work and hobbies, and she drops by our house a couple of times a month for tea. Me and her also have birdwatching meet-ups once a month, which I really enjoy. I really valued her friendship since I barely make new friends as an adult with the same interests as me - she has also mentioned multiple times that she holds our friendship very dear. During one of our monthly meetings at a coffee house, she ran into three of her college buddies, all female. She immediately invited them to sit with us, which I was fine with. After coffee, me and her were then supposed to go to the nearby birdwatching spot to chase a new bird we were interested in. But after I got in her car, I was surprised to see all of her friends get in as well. She told me that she wanted to bring them along. Although they were nice people, I felt out of place among the four classmates since they were talking in circles, so I made up an excuse and asked her to give me a ride home. She obliged my request. A few hours after I had gotten home, she texted me 'Sorry?' and I said 'It's alright!' and that was that.This was a month ago. The truth is, I felt rather insulted that she completely changed the direction of our once-a-month catch-ups the minute she saw her friends, and she didn't even ask me if I was okay with it. Over the last month, we have continued to have a normal rapport, but I have not initiated any conversations with her, or asked if she'd like to join us for tea. **I do not intend to ghost her**, but I also plan to limit my interactions with her unless she apologizes to me. My wife thinks I am overreacting and might lose a friend, but personally I do not enjoy putting effort into a friendship where my opinion and time is valued. AITA? | AITA for limiting my interactions with a new friend, who during our monthly catch-up, ran into her friends and immediately decided to hang out with them instead? | YTA |
10yy2kq | It's a longish story. The basics are that she divorced my extremely abusive father about 23 years ago and immediately got picked up by her current husband who has systematically gotten her to hate her entire extended family over a very long period of time. She has 6 brothers and sisters. He has always tried to peck away at me but was mostly unsuccessful. When I would visit he'd eavesdrop for an entire hour from an adjacent room and then suddenly and silently pop out after he got bored. Then my mother's health started to worsen. The first time she got sick she basically passed out at work about 5 years ago just before she retired and was rushed to the ER. I wasn't even informed this had happened until she nonchalantly mentioned it during a visit and I requested that he would inform me of my mother's health. He point blank declined and she just sat there passively. After seeing him belittle her, me, and everyone in her family I knew he was an asshole but she wouldn't listen. Finally, she had 2 different cancers in the past 3 years which required surgery. One surgery was particularly major and the plan was that I'd come down to the hospital while she was in. This was on schedule until literally 5 hours before they left and he must have made her tell me not to come. So I was in this group chat he started. He didn't say anything all day in this update chat. I should also mention he was a passenger in the car that her friends drove her down in because he's too much of a hick to drive in the city.Finally after drinking a half bottle of tequila I snapped and demanded updates. This was at 11pm after she went in at 7 am. He decided to remove me from the chat. At which point I went off on him in private messages and told him he was a piece of shit. He blocked me and then blocked my wife. I didn't bother my mother with this crap during her recovery but I came to find out he had been working his magic the entire time she was recovering. Finally, she told me I needed to apologize to him and I explained that I can't do that because I'm too old for this shit. I went on to tell her that I think he's a manipulative asshole and she wouldn't have any of that so she blocked my messages. I was enraged and went a step further and blocked her on every possible platform. I don't feel like I can have a relationship with my own mother now and I am not going to reach out even though I feel pretty bad about all of it. Would you block your own mother and refuse to apologize too or am I the asshole here? | AITA I was blocked by my own mother | NTA |
10yxhrm | I 32F used to live with my sister and her family in the same house for many years. We agreed to split the Bills. She had no job and only relies on her husband's salary to support her and her kids. I am older, single and have an steady job so most of the time I pay for more than I owe and it's okay until I realized that I am actually paying all the bills all by myself. I confronted her about it and she got mad and said that I should understand her situation . One time she asked me if she could get a loan using my name (She's not qualified cause she had no job) I am hesitant but I agreed since she is my sister and I trust that she will pay the loan as she promised but unfortunately she did not finished paying the loan and now I am debt because of her. I confronted her about it and all she had to say is "Sorry, I cant pay it anymore and it's your name , so it's not my problem." I got really mad . I don't know what is wrong with me but I still let this slide and continue living with her.But one day we had a huge fight(We fight all the time tho) and my sister had the audacity to throw my things outside the house and told me to get lost. Imagine that? I'm the one paying the bills and I am the one who had to leave? My friends told me that SHE and her family should be the one to move out not me but I said It's okay , besides I have been planning to move out and that I already found a room to rent so I gather up my things and moved out of the house without speaking to her again .Weeks later she reached out to me asking me to move back since she cant pay the bills by herself and I said no , I will never move back there. I blocked her in everything so she cant contact me anymore.Then this January I learned that she found a job in the same company where I work and I am not very happy . She is my sister but she is toxic that I decided to move out and keep her out of my life but now that we work on the same company I have to endure being with her from time to time. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to be in the same workplace with my sister? | NTA |
10yzoum | There’s a grocery store that I sometimes go to that offers garage parking (but no surface parking). To get to the garage, you have to first turn in to a narrow drive.Without fail, there is always at least one, and usually multiple cars parked in the Fire Lane (where there are multiple signs that say No Parking or Standing Fire Lane).Today, a guy in front of me made the turn and then came to a complete stop since he saw someone else coming out of the front door (for pedestrian entrance) and walking to their illegally parked car.So he waited until they got in their car and pulled out, and then proceeded to (poorly) attempt to parallel park his SUV. I had already beeped my horn once when he first stopped and just waited for the other person to get into their car.After he finally made it into the spot well enough for me to be able to squeeze by him, I pulled up alongside and rolled down my window and yelled “You’re not supposed to park here - it’s a fire lane” and pointed at the multiple signs. Note that this was about 2 minutes after he first stopped in the lane, and there were multiple cars behind me who couldn’t even make the turn into the lane bc of the backup.I then drove off, parked in the garage, and took the escalator up to the entrance.He happened to be milling around in the entry area where the carts are stored, so when I saw him, I threw my arms out in a “WTF?” gesture and again mentioned that it’s a fire lane and that the signs clearly prohibited parking there.He said something back (which I couldn’t hear from behind his mask), so I reiterated my point. He then said “what are you going to do about it?”So I said I was yelling at him about it and for being such an AH. He of course then called me an AH and to mind my own business.I then told him that he needed to follow the rules like everyone else and then I walked away.I’m usually not one to try to police others’ behavior but between making me and others wait for 2 minutes because his lazy, selfish ass couldn’t be bothered to park the way that everyone else does, and the fact that it is a hazard to park in the fire lane, I felt that I was in the right for taking him to task (although I can’t imagine he will change his behavior).But curious if you all think I’m the AH for lashing out in the first place. | AITA for yelling at someone who parked in the Fire Lane? | NTA |
10yz5jk | So, a Little background. I am Ukrainian, and of course, the first thing when you think of when you hear it - war. I live in suburbs near a big city, where my brother and dad lives. I live with my mom, my brother is renting an apartment with his friend, my dad is working in the city, living at work, going home only at weekends, only very rarely at working daysMy grandparents live in the region next to us, where bomb shellings often happen. We often visited them before the war, but now we aren’t able to. Almost a year passed, and my mom haven’t seen her parents in a while now, recently she found out that her father, my grandpa, has stomach cancer. We can’t visit them because of the war, so she have been trying to help them with money and all the funds needed. They just had enough money to get him into the hospital, to recoverIn the recent news she read that they dropped even more rockets near the hospital that my grandpa in, literally next street, she doesn’t know if everything is okay with him, and if he’s even alive at this momentWhen my dad came back from work, she started crying because of those news and not being able to visit or help her parents. This quickly escalated to them arguing and her being mad that she is left alone with me only in our house, while everyone is away, nobody is home anymore. I feel like they’re very close to a divorce nowThroughout this whole argument I didn’t go in their room a single time, didn’t hug my mom or tried to calm her down. My whole childhood she always yelled at me for crying and being a “whiny kid”, she never tried to make me feel better and listen to my problems. Because of this, I still have no idea how to properly comfort people. I don’t feel any emotions right now, nor anger, nor frustration, nor sadnessI have a lot more to worry about, like finishing school and successfully getting into college. Should I feel bad? Am I a bad person for not comforting my mom? | AITA for not supporting my mom during a mental breakdown? | NAH |
10yyqig | I (F21) have a group of friends, including my best friend, R(F22). This group of friends and I go to a comic-con whenever it's there, with an exception to last con, in November 2022, because three of us couldn't afford it. But we were all planning on the next con, which is happening this April. ​3 days ago, in the evening, one of the friends, A(25M) texted in our comic-con group chat, asking when we were going to buy tickets. I said probably at the end of this month. But I said I could afford to buy them all now, and wait until everyone was able to afford to pay me back until the end of the month. I explained I was getting a little nervous waiting around waiting for tickets. A agreed and told me to do it. I didn't wait around until the rest agreed or disagreed, because I didn't think anyone would be against it. I'm not difficult about the money, they can pay when they expected to in the first place, and now at least we would have tickets. We have been talking about going for months.​So I ordered the tickets, sent the link for a bank transfer, which works for a few weeks. And again reminded everyone they have until the end of the month to pay, and then sent the tickets.​Today, R texted me. She told me she wouldn't be able to pay me back at the of the month. I replied immediately that that wasn't an issue. She then said she actually wasn't happy I bought the tickets without discussing with the rest of the friends. Because they couldn't afford to pay me back at the moment. I reminded her that I told everyone they had until the end of the month. She then told me she has actually been thinking of not going, because she wouldn't be able to afford anything there (including food or petrol), but the tickets are non-refundable and are registered by name. I told her I couldn't have known about her not wanting to go, she has also been talking about going for months. And that I thought I was just doing everyone a favour by buying tickets. Especially because I'm not difficult about the money. She said she has been in debt with a bunch of friends and she finally isn't anymore, and she didn't want to be in debt again. Even if it was for just 30euro. At that moment I was just too pissed off and told her I wasn't in the mood.​After about 15 mins, I realised I might've been too harsh. So I texted her to apologise for my reaction. That I understood where she came from, and that I hope she understood I just tried to do something nice. And I told her she didn't have a debt anymore with me, because I would gift her the ticket. And I promised that it would be a fun day out, I know she has been stressed lately so I thought that also might be why she didn't want to go. She pretty much ignored me. And later in the evening she texted in the comic-con group chat that she won't be attending comic-con because she can't afford it for reasons I won't be sharing here. She said she would pay me back and I said she still didn't have to. | AITA for buying comic-con tickets for my friends? | YTA |
10ywfro | Before I begin... I apologize if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language.I (26F) Moved out of my parents house a year ago bc my fiancé (26M) and I got an apartment together. We still live in the same city so we visit at least once a month to both my and his parents. Ever since I moved out my brother (23M) has been talking about how much he misses me and that he wished we could spend more time together. We text almost everyday and he has come over a few times to our apartment to watch a movie together or just talk. (The reason he comes over mostly is because when we visit he is almost never at home and out with his friends, so he comes when he doesn't have plans with them)My birthday was a few days ago, but since it was a wednesday and I had to work I told him and my parents and some friends that I will be doing a small gathering at our apartment this saturday to celebrate. Everything was alright we set the time and my fiancé started planning on what we were going to serve and decorate and everything. Today my brother texts me to ask me if he can come an hour earlier that we had planned, I said I couldn't bc I was going to get my hair done and wanted time to get ready before everyone started arriving and asked why. He said his bestfriend's sister is also celebrating her birthday on saturday and that it was at a restaurant and he had already confirmed he was going to go. He said he wanted to go to both birthdays but I said to him that I didn't think it was a good a idea for him to do that (His plan was to get an hour early and stay with us for about an hour and then go to the restaurant, he would be arriving an hour late there) because he doesn't have a lot of money (full time student) and he would be spending a lot trying to be in both places and he wouldn't even enjoy the moment because he would be on a rush. I asked him to maybe celebrate with them on another day and he said he would think about it.Not gonna lie, I feel hurt by this because as we are not seeing eachother very often I thought that he would choose me over his friend but I dont know if I'm sounding narcissistic or what. I wanted some outside advice so here I am... AITA? | AITA for asking my brother to choose me over his friends? | YTA |
10ywckj | I have a friend from highschool that I've known for about 20 years. We're great buddies. When we were in high school, he always talked about owning one of those legacy arcade box machines for his favorite game, Marvel vs Capcom 2. It because a talking point here and there the last ten years or so. By luck, the company that now makes home unit arcades produced one last year. He's been a great friend to me, so I didn't really think much about the 600 dollar price tag. He was going to LOVE IT.Long story short, it's been delivered, he casually thanked me. I didn't really get the reaction I was looking for. I was so sure he'd be over the moon about. it. Five months later, it's still in is packaging and needs to be built into the arcade machine. I guess I should expect nothing in return, but I feel hurt he doesn't seem to care about the thought I put into buying him something he said he always wanted for his "man -cave" in his house. I wanted to say something about it, but also didn't.I ended up mentioning it saying something on how I felt hurt, and he immediately got defensive with excuses, and became a little curt. Not sure if what I did was wrong. | AITA For Confronting a friend about not using an expensive gift? | YTA |
10yyh5z | My husband (39M) and I (40F) have a 3-year-old son. We both work full-time so our son is in daycare during the week. Like any toddler in daycare, he gets sick, especially this time of year. My husband and I try to rotate who stays home with him when he's sick, but my job tends to be more strict schedule-wise and there are some things that I can't move around. My husband's job is more flexible so when I have something at work I can't move or reschedule, he stays home.A couple nights ago our son woke up at 1am and started vomiting. Both my husband and I got up and helped him. When we started talking about keeping him home from daycare, I reminded my husband that I had a podcast interview scheduled for the next morning at 8am that had already been rescheduled twice before due to other circumstances. This is for a podcast I do for work and we were already up against our deadline. My husband agreed to stay home with our son and stayed up with him while I tried to get at least a few hours of sleep. I went to bed around 3am. When I woke up, I found my husband asleep on the floor next to our son's bed. It was about 630am at this point. I didn't want to wake up our son, so I left them and went to work. After the podcast interview ended around 11am, I looked at my phone and saw my husband had called and left a few texts. He was mad at me for not waking him up before I left because he ended up sleeping until 930am and hadn't told work he wouldn't be coming in. His boss was pissed. My husband said that he was up with our son until 5am and by the time they both finally fell asleep they were both exhausted and he didn't hear his alarm go off because his phone was still in another room. I told him I didn't want to wake up our son since he was sick and obviously needed the sleep and I didn't think that my husband would sleep in that long, especially since he was sleeping on the floor. I was also exhausted myself from being so short on sleep and was focused on preparing for the podcast on only a few hours sleep. My husband went back to work yesterday and had a talk with his boss. My husband explained the situation and apologized, but his boss still wasn't happy with him and actually wrote him up for it. My husband completely blames me for this even though his alarm still went off and he just didn't hear it or wake up to it. I did apologize to my husband, but he's still very mad at me and is totally blaming me for getting in trouble at work. He told me that he's in line to get a promotion and this totally jeopardizes his chances of getting it now. I told him that if his job is willing to overlook all the good work he does for one little mishap then maybe he should look for a different job anyway.He's been very short and cold with me ever since. I know he's anxious about the promotion, but I feel like he's taking his frustration out on me instead of recognizing that he is just as much at fault for sleeping in like that. | AITA For not waking my husband up in the morning after our son was sick | NTA |
10yybvm | Background: I \[26F\] live with 4 other girls \[24-26F\]. We have been living together for nearly 2 years. We have had our disagreements but I was involved in nothing major with any of them. Kate, our landlady's daughter, occupies one of the rooms but mostly lives with her parents in a bigger house, which is 5 minutes away from where we live. Kate is the kind who is a 26 year old female that still complains to her mum about any situation that doesnt suit her convenience and her mum takes it out on whoever she complains about. It is frustrating but we have all just accepted the fact that we need to be quiet until this tenancy ends. Fast forward to 1.5 weeks ago, I discovered that our washing machine wasnt functioning well and it was unusable. I told Kate's mum and she told me that Kate had said that the machine was working well. I saw that Kate used the machine an hour ago and when i asked her on the house group chat, she said that the machine was fine. I had to drop the issue because they werent listening. Next day, my other housemate tried to use the machine and said that she wasnt able to use it too because it does seem broken. Kate then told her mum about it and the machine was taken away by engineers. The machine was fixed and it came back to the house today. All this while, the rest of us were all unable to do our laundry and Kate has not returned from her parents' house all this time. One of the housemates posted a picture of the machine on the group chat today welcoming the machine back home and this is how the convo went:Housemate 2: \*Picture\* yay its back! Me (BorolineLover): Finally! I have loads of laundry to do!Kate: Do not break the washing machine again, BorolineLover. Me: It was you tbh, the machine wasnt working after you had used it. Kate: \*Sends a few sassy GIFs\*Me: Stop trying to blame other people and keep it zipped. It is not as funny as you think it is.Kate: \*Sends a thumbs up emoji\* ​Since this convo, the housemates have been awkward with me. Kate isnt back from her parents' yet so i am not sure how they are with her. I felt that it was time that I stopped apologizing all the time to Kate for things and issues she creates and that a machine breaking down isnt my fault. However, the way my housemates are ignoring me makes me think maybe there is something I am not seeing here. This is not the first time Kate has tried to create a misunderstanding over with me. So AITA for standing up (?) for myself on this occassion? TL;DR: Stood up to my housemate when she tried to blame the broken washing machine on me. AITA? | AITA for telling my housemate to not blame me for the broken washing machine and to zip it? | NTA |
10yy909 | I was talking with my sister, and I told her I hate working, and If I could I would never work another day in my life, I would rather be bored sitting at home. She called me entitled for saying it and started crying because she was so stressed from work that she had to do to keep her house and etc. I go to school full-time and work part time, I just hate it.I didn't mean to make her upset, just wanted to tell my sister what I was feeling, but I did not deserve the yelling and name calling | AITA for saying that I don't want to work | NTA |
10yy3a6 | So help me, God. I never thought I'd have to post here. Throwaway because he knows my Reddit and I don't want him to see this.My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Two months ago, he started jokingly calling me "Queen", and over time it's escalated to the point where he constantly refers to me as "Queen." For example, when I ask him when/where he wants to eat, whether it be this or that, he always replies with "Oh! Let's go to X, Queen!" Or, when I ask a favor of him, he replies with "Anything for you, my Queen." At first I thought it was charming and really cute, but it's gotten a little bit annoying over the quarantine period.For reference, we live together. He moved in with me as I'm the breadwinner in the relationship, a successful programmer in the heart of Silicon Valley. He doesn't work, but he cleans the house, decorates, usually cooks, and will take care of our dogs when I'm not home. Before this, he worked for his dad's company as an architect, but was laid off with Quarantine.Today I asked if he could go clean the bathroom as it needed to be cleaned, and obviously I didn't want to - it's my day off. He stood up, and bowed, and went "Yes, my liege." and then hopped off to go clean.He does this in public too. I was trying on clothes at a local store, where I stepped out to get his opinion. He loudly said "Yes, Queen! I love it!" which caused people to look over at us and cringe in embarrassment.I blew up on him about this - in public. I shouted at him telling him he needed to grow the f\*ck up and stop calling me queen all the time, how it felt like he put me on a royal pedestal and it was very toxic. I called him an idiot and an asshole but now I feel bad about it. Maybe I was too harsh and he's just trying to have fun with it, and spice up the relationship? Our sex life has been pretty meh lately... Every time he is ready to cum he shouts "I'm ready to cum queen!" and that's an instant turnoff for me. He also tends to loudly say "I'm going to stick it in, Queen!" so the coochie immediately turns from an ocean to a desert. Impressive stuff, really.So I blew up on him again - telling him that he was being a serious child and that he needs to grow the f\*ck up, again. He went in our room and locked the door, slipping a note out into the hallway that says, and I quote, "I'm sorry, Queen." I've not been in my own bedroom in 2 days because he won't open the door. He comes out to get food and water but that's it, he won't talk to me, or anything.Am I the asshole?​Edit 1: Stop downvoting my post!!! The rules say you shouldn't downvote assholes!!!!!!​Edit 2: Just talked to him about it and he's still being a bit cold to me. I think we can bounce back and work it out. I really love him and I don't want to leave him. We were slated to get married this summer and now I'm not sure that will happen. | AITA for getting upset when my boyfriend (23M) CONSTANTLY refers to me as Queen (26F)? | NTA |
10yxt12 | I (F25)have been with my boyfriend (M33) for 3+ years and has met my daughter and loves her very much. I have solo custody of her (F6). She treats my boyfriend with respect and adores him. Last night he visited for dinner and he slept over, which we do at least once a week. We stayed up quite late such that I'd only slept for 4hrs when I had to get up and get up to prepare my daughter for school so I was very tired all day. We had breakfast and we're all very fortunate to be working from home so we worked as we watched movies all day. My daughter came home from school and after feeding her she started watching on TV and I was so tired I went to my room since he was watching her. I asked the both of them if they were okay while I napped for 2hrs and asked them to wake me up whenever they're bored and if my daughter needs anything.I woke up at 7.30pm and he seemed angry from his body language and wore his clothes angrily and told me he was leaving coz he was bored. I asked him if he was okay since he seemed angry and he said he was just bored. I asked home if he would like to stay for dinner before he left but said no he was going to leave. I feel like he might be justified since it's quite rude to fall asleep with a guest in the house but it's not the first time either of us has taken a nap while in the others home. I was exhausted and needed to recharge since I have very low energy on some days and need a nap to recharge. I feel it might be something else that he is not communicating about. So strangers on the internet, AITA for falling asleep? | AITA for taking a 2hr nap when my boyfriend was visiting? | NTA |
10yxlos | Oh you're going to like this one:So yesterday was my aunts birthday and she had a big do like she normally does, I obviously love to go and visit my aunt. I went with my family and a family friend who are rightfully bad but my uncle, my aunts husband, is possibly the worst person I've ever met.We often butt heads over little things like who dropped a chip, or who used my toothpaste. Anyway at this party yesterday we didn't speak much but when it came to opening the presents he was being picky at everything.For instance one person got a new vacuum cleaner for her but he said that they didn't need one as they already have one. Anyway cut to her opening my present, I got her a new charging cable and USB port for her laptop as that is what she has asked me specifically for.Uncle says the following: "You copied what I got her"Imagine my face at that comment, scoffing I said unlikely because it was specifically made by the company I work for who made it with a cool 3d design, but no he showed me the one he had bought her and it was the same, directly to the letters the same. Colours, shape, size. I was disgusted and left after saying a few things that I shouldn't have.Upon returning home later my wife told me about how I shouldn't have caused such a scene for a petty thing, but then I get a call from my uncle who tells me I am an a-hole and made my aunt cry wit what I said. Recalling it I cannot quite remember what I said that made her cry but I felt like an a-hole for that, but it was when he called me an a-hole for getting the same present to spite him because he had been saving up all year just to get it. I won't lie, it hurt me I hadn't known this but now that I think about it they are ok with money but even so was I an a-hole for buying the same gift when I had no idea that he had already bought it before me? | AITA For "ruining" a birthday? | YTA |
10z0gfa | Every year my family has a tradition of going up North to our shared cottage with my extended family. My great aunt makes an amazing strawberry rhubarb jam. It’s unlike no other I’ve ever had. No store bought jam can even compare to this, that’s how good it is. But I only get it when I go up north, once a year. For my 21st birthday I asked for a jar of it from my Grandfather. He obliged and got me my very own jar. He put a sticky note with my name on the jar, it stayed on there for about a month til I decided to take it off because it was getting dirty. Everyone in my household knew it was mine. They know it’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world. Today I was going to eat the last little bit when I woke up to find a completely empty jar sitting on the counter. I was livid. The ONLY thing I got for my birthday. My favorite thing in the whole world. And this wasn’t the first time. My grandma made me my favorite cookies right around my 21st birthday too. I ate about 3, there had to have been around 30 of them. Next day, gone.I angrily texted my family’s group chat where my father told me it was, “no big deal.” And I’m, “overreacting.” And he said I deserved it since I didn’t put my name on it. Everyone in my household is an adult. So I’ve decided to give them all, except my sister because she had nothing to do with it, the silent treatment til they put another jar in my hand.My boyfriend is saying I’m being a bit harsh with them. My dad says I’m overreacting and I need to get over it. But it’s not like I can go to the store and buy another. I’m tired of them constantly disrespecting me. I shouldn’t need to label my food, we’re all adults. If I tell you once, you should know to back off. AITA? | AITA for giving the silent treatment to my parents over jam? | NTA |
10yx80x | Please forgive my mistakes, its my first post and english isn't my first language.I (29f) have a difficult relationchip with my mum. She is an alcoholic since I can remember, that includes mentally and phisically abusing me and my dad in her "worst-mood-phases" ( 2-3h a day till she has fallen asleep on the couch) most of my childhood. To make things worse, she would tell very... phantastic lies to all people we know ( like that my dad has r***d me or that he's the one that slapped me across the face with an hot iron).Well, when I turned 13, my dad finally divorced her and fighted for full custody, loosing most of his savings on her (she was a Sahm). However, we would visit her on Holidays and her birthday.Last week i got a call that shes in an mental Hospital now and will need a caretaker the rest of her life ( the Alkohol has finally reached the brain and is damaging it like the Rest of her body). The doctor that called me was gobsmaked that Ibdidnt want to take her home to me,even after I told him that me and my fiance life in an 3 room Apartment and have an 5month old daughter to care for, and that I want to go to work 35h a week again in a year. | WIBTA for not caring for my ill mum | NTA |
10z0e31 | I 20f have been with my bf 23m for 2 years. We have talked about our life goals, kids, marriage etc and we're compatible, except for one thing.When we first got together my boyfriend said I would be waiting until at least 2023-2024 for an engagement, which at the time I thought I was fine with. Now after we've been together for two years I realise that I wanted to be engaged sooner.My boyfriend and I have talked about this and he says he would rather be living together before we get engaged. I respect his decision and how he feels which is why I bought myself a ring.It wasn't expensive and I used my own money to pay for it. It makes me feel more secure in my relationship so I don't understand why my boyfriend is upset about me buying a cheap ring.I told my boyfriend he controls when he proposes and I can wait two more years, but he doesn't get to control what jewellery I buy myself and where I wear it. So Aita?. | AITA for buying a ring for my ring finger after my bf said I would have to wait 2 years for a proposal? | YTA |
10yztfb | For background, my husband (47M) and I (45F) have five kids between us. My two (16F and 13 M) live with us full time. One of his (17F) lives with her mom and we get her every other weekend. His other two (23 F and 25M) are grown and live on their own. My daughter recently had a birthday. As usual, we had one party with family the weekend before (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) and I let her have a few friends over the weekend after for a “friend party”, where they watched a movie and had snacks. Since her actual birthday was during the week, I took her out to dinner with her aunts to do something special for her 16th (usually I’d just make the birthday kiddo a dinner of their choosing at home). Here’s the tricky part. His kids all have birthdays around the same time. I made sure that the family party was on a day that worked for everyone so that all of his kids could be included in that. Everyone got gifts, their own separate cake, etc. We spent about $100 each on gifts for his three and about $30 on my daughter since I knew she’d be getting her dinner out and her friend party. Now my husband is upset with me because he says I didn’t treat everyone fairly. I’m at a loss because I don’t know what else I should have done. I didn’t arrange a second party for the others because two of them are grown and the other one lives with her mom, so I assumed if that’s something they wanted it wasn’t up to me to plan. And I would’ve happily made any or all of them a special birthday dinner if they’d been with us on their actual birthday, but they weren’t. So again, I assumed someone else would handle that too. But am I wrong here? Should I have tried harder to give them all the same birthday experiences instead of assuming that their other parent/significant other would handle some and make up the difference? | AITA for not giving all kids the same birthday experience? | NTA |
10yzna4 | So my partner and I separated recently and we have been trying to do shared custody of the dog we got together. My partner was the one that signed her up for pet insurance and had the adoption papers under her name but the day to day stuff (walking, training,…etc) was the majority my responsibility. My ex partner recently fractured their spine and can’t walk, much less take care of the dog so I’ve had it with me for the past couple weeks. On top of that their expenses have gone up due to me not living with them and paying half for utilities and rent to the point where they can’t afford the pup. But before that happened it felt like they were using the dog as a way to see me and get me to do random tasks for them. Or else they’d take away shared custody. The place I am in now is great. The dog has playmates and a good sized back yard for them to run around in. Which wasn’t a possibility at the old place, and my ex’s cat does not like the dog at all. I know that they love the dog as much as me, and that they are ultimately a good person. But us seeing each other all the time is causing more problems than good.Edit: I see a few comments that are confused about if I have refused to bring the dog over. I have never refused to bring the dog over. I totally respect that the dog is in their name so I have been cooperating with the trade off schedule and have offered to bring the dog over to visit while they are recovering | AITA for wanting sole custody of my dog? | NTA |
10yzg7r | So I (25f) came from a rough up bringing, both my mom and step father are addicts, so I stepped up even as a kid to take care of the younger ones. Most of my little siblings still to this day accidentally call me mom. I was particularly closer with my little sister (E). Well E (16f) recently moved in with our oldest sibling (34f) who lives on the other side of the country (we’ll call her A). It is a better environment for her in a lot of ways so I’m glad she’s happier. Since she’s moved away she hardly even answers my text, if she does it’s very dry one word responses. I really did go over and behind what most older sisters do, treated her like she was my daughter, helped her out when our parents did not. I never wanted a thank you or anything I did it because I wanted to. A and I haven’t gotten along in years mostly do to the fact she cherry picked the two best behaved of my siblings that are the least commitment. Leaving all the younger ones to fend for themselves, obviously I don’t blame E for going but I do blame A for how the younger ones now feel. A is incredibly well off and most definitely has the means to take them all if she wanted to. I think the younger ones don’t fit in her “aesthetics” as much plus would require a lot more time and energy. I personally let the kids stay with me as long as they want but they all know that I wouldn’t officially take in one of them unless I was taking the others too. So I pointedly asked E what’s up with her ignoring me and she got very defensive saying she does miss me and want to talk but is too busy. I called bs because I know for fact she makes time to talk to other people and she’s constantly posting her friends on socials. She doesn’t work just school and tumbling. At her age I had 2 jobs and all honors and I did just about every extra curricular activity you could think of while also practically raising my 6 younger siblings. To me even as a teen you make time for the people you want to. I’m sure A has tried to bad mouth me and that’s probably partly why E won’t call me. She told me I’m making her feel bad when I asked her if we could schedule a time to talk for 5 mins when she’s free and she told me “idk when” I get she’s a teen but she’s very mature so it kinda shocked me she responded this way, not like her at all. I told her I don’t want to make her feel bad I just miss her and want to make sure she’s okay. Idk what I said wrong, I was careful how I phased it, I dont hold anything over her. I don’t demand anything I just ask her if she wants to talk. I don’t know what else to do my reaction to rejection like this is usually to shut down and just stop asking. | AITA for trying to get my younger sibling to keep in touch? | NAH |
10yz9iu | So recently my girlfriend (21F) and I (25M) got new jobs, but our working times were directly opposite of each other. She works from 8am-6pm and I work from 4pm-1am. This has put quite a strain on our relationship as we live around an hour away from each other. Additionally, while she gets the weekends off, I only get Sundays off.Before I started this job, I worked from 12pm-10pm every day except Thursdays and it caused me to have no work-life balance. The only days we could meet up were on Thursdays, but I couldn't spend much time focusing on her as I had to rush my weekly chores all in that single day. So when I had a chance to change jobs, I immediately picked up the new offer (that pays so much more and is very flexible with the work hours) and also prepared to match my schedule with her upcoming work schedule. Now both of us have Sundays off right?She wasn't too happy with my new job as it left us no time to call at night, but I replied that I would still be able to call her thanks to my flexible work schedule AND be able to meet her on the weekends. This seemed great until she started her new job.She would play VALORANT with a group of friends every night from 10pm till 12:30am or even 1am,and then immediately head to sleep. Now I'm not too happy with this as I would like to call her at night too, but she's too busy playing with the others and always says "I'm too tired" whenever I manage to catch her before she starts a new match before her bedtime. I complained that she could just have waited for me and not started a new match when I got home at 12am, but she snaps back that she can do whatever she likes in her free time. There were times when I managed to catch her finishing a match at 12:30am, but then she always says that she's tired and needs to sleep earlier. In my opinion, I feel like she could stay up another 10 minutes to chat if she could play to 1am on many nights. I feel like I've been too clingy but it's just been very hard to put time aside for each other and I feel like she's not very compromising in this situation. This lasted for a whole 2 weeks before I couldn't take it anymore and we got into a big fight.AITA for asking her to stay up for a bit longer or not game so that we could call? | AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave some time aside for me? | NTA |
10yz4og | My roommates (both F, 20s) love my cat and gladly watch him once a month for me (F, 20s). They've rejected my compensation, and just genuinely like spending time with him. However, I inevitably worry when I go out of town every month considering neither of them have ever had a cat. He's a low maintenance cat but I can't help but worry a little. Today they thought it would be a good idea to bring my indoor cat outside via plastic bag. Not a shopping bag, more of a thick plastic bag that bedding and comforters come in. Sure, they cracked the plastic so he could breathe. But they did this without asking me if I was comfortable with that. I asked why they didn't take his carrier (designed for CATs) and they said this was funnier and he was already sitting in it. Last week when I was home I caught them letting him smell and sip a beer. I didn't know what to say and just asked for it to not happen again. When I expressed my anxiety, I was met with a passive aggressive response. Yes, it was a 20 minute walk. Yes, he could breathe. I'm sure they perceived this as dramatic, especially since neither of them have ever had pets. But I don't believe this is a respectful way to care for someone else's pet. Glad we have a front door camera otherwise I don't think I would've ever known about this. I really rely on them to watch him once a month when I have to travel for work and I don't have anyone else to ask. AITA? | AITA for worrying about my roommates watching my cat? | NTA |
10yytmu | My classmate was checking our math test when I noticed some mistakes in his checking. He just told me to recheck it myself. Two of the papers that got their scores deducted were my close friends. My male friend got 1 point deducted, and he got 19 out of 20, while my female friend got 2 points deducted and got 18 out of 20. My female friend just replied "ohh okiiee", when I told her. While the male friend did not talk to me or even looked at me. The classmate who checked is our mutual friend in class. He told me that my male friend replied "so what now, she's great at math?" when he showed and explained his score. I was confused and wanted to talk to him. However, even 2 months later, every time I try to socialize with him, he distances himself even more. Even when I'm trying to be goofy when he's around, and I try to include him in my jokes, he doesn't look at me. The classmate explained my friend's POV, saying I should've at least considered his answer because he's my close friend. I felt so wrong with what I did. I am aware that I do have issues maintaining friendships, and I'm working on it, yet it still affected him. I also gave my POV, saying his points weren't my responsibility. I tried to communicate with him again, but he ignored me still. I just thought he built a wall that I need to respect, so I left it as it is.However, these past few weeks I feel left out. My female friend and he are still close friends. He communicates with her but never with me, even when I'm just beside her. It's not like I'm jealous, I just feel out of place and really really excluded. | AITA for not considering my friend's score when I was helping our classmate check our tests. | NTA |
10yvpst | Me and my partner have been living together for over two years now. I have ADHD and thus barely manage to do any housework and my partner struggles to keep our apartment tidy and clean as well, so it has always been pretty messy at our home. Most of the time I don't care much about the stacks of dirty dishes, the empty pizza boxes next to our door and the chaos on the tables but once a week when a couple of friends come over to visit us I want our apartment to be tidy and clean, because I don't want them to look down on us for living in such a mess. Before I got my current job we used to cook together and split housework almost equally, however since I started working full time while my partner is still studying and thus has way more free time, we decided that I don't need to help cooking or do any housework on weekdays anymore.Therefore, I want dinner to be cooked by my partner ever day [on weekdays] and the apartment to be tidy and cleaned at least on that one day before our friends come visiting. But every fucking week when I come home from work on that day nothing has been done and often my partner is either not even at home yet or doesn't start cooking and cleaning until I get angry and rude and start yelling. I love my partner and I don't want to have these arguments all the time but I'm also hungry in the evening and just want to relax after working all day.I always thought I'm in the right but now I'm not so sure anymore. Because when I once demanded my partner to finish cooking despite our friends being already here, which caused them to witness us arguing, they seemed to feel very uncomfortable and had the same expression on their faces that I see on my aunt's and uncle's faces when my father commands and criticizes my mother in front of them. I don't want my behaviour to resemble my father's because I think my mother doesn't deserve to be treated like this by him. So AITA? | AITA for yelling at my partner because dinner isn't cooked and the apartment isn't cleaned when I come home from work? | YTA |
10yygnx | This happened a few weeks ago when we got a new sst teacher . She was a very sweet and innocent teacher who always helped us .She did not have good English pronunciation as she was from a rural region. She was made fun of because of it .It became so bad the she had several emotional breakdowns during the class . She once allowed us to watch a film during class on the condition that we would stay disciplined in the next class . One day we found that she quit because she could not handle the stress . This made us think critically of our actions and their effect on her mental health. We made her quit a very high paying job due to our actions. She wanted to create an environment where we can actively enjoy learning .She was a young teacher about in her early 20s so she did not have any experience dealing with disobedient students Thinking back on it I should have stopped my classmates from saying hurtful things behind her back . I just thought that it was not my matter so why should I interfere. I think should have interfered and stopped that . Whenever we have a sst class I am reminded of her crying and asking the class where she was lacking in being a good teacher . Please tell me whether I am an asshole or should I just forget it. | AITA for allowing my classmates to force a teacher into quitting ? | YTA |
10yyf8r | To start, we practice ethical non-monogamy. I'm not sure if I need to explain that here, but just know, that just because we see other people doesn't mean that we don't have rules and expectations. The other day, I found out my gf was invited to go hottubbing with someone. Usually we do things together, so it was odd that I didn't hear about it, or receive and invite as well. There are a few situations in which this would make sense, but not many, and she would still let me know what's going on in those situations.So she has an invite, I found that out by accident, and that's all I know. So I ask her about it. She makes a joke that doesn't make sense, doesn't answer the question, and seems like she's avoiding the topic. I respond a bit aggressively, I'll admit. I say, "bullshit." "what's going on?".She immediately comes at me, saying I'm spiraling, acting crazy, obsessive, and jealous. Continues to insult me and say how mean I am to her. She never answers the question though. The next day I apologize about being aggressive in my words. She uses this to attack me. Saying I'm always tearing her down. She still doesn't explain who invited her out and why I had to find out by accident. This is not normal at all.So Am I the asshole, or should I be suspicious. | AITAH for asking my girlfriend about a hottub? | NTA |
10z0pg8 | I think I know I’m going to report her but I want to get some other people’s opinions. So my friend is going through a really rough time at the moment. I don’t think there’s any one specific reason why but more just a multitude of reasons. Every time she walks into the room, she’s either sad or angry about something. Every time I ask how her day’s gone, it’s always gone badly. This has been going on for months now. Me and my other friends have encouraged her to fill out a form to go to therapy but she refuses to do, saying she has her own methods of coping. The university offers free therapy, and will give you an appointment within about a week of filling out the form. Obviously we can’t make her fill out the form. However, there is an option to report someone to the uni if we believe they are at risk or need help. So we’ve given her an ultimate. Either fill out the form herself or we’re going to report her to the uni. Us reporting her does not mean she has to go to therapy, the uni will just call her to check in with her and offer her some help. She’s furious with us about it, and is refusing to talk to anyone. She said we’re essentially betraying her by doing this. I know she’s not going to fill out the form but is it awful if I report her?I know it’s probably going to ruin our friendship but I care more about her being okay than her not being mad at me. | WIBTA for reporting my friend to the uni | NTA |
10z0o50 | So quick backgrounds me(33M), my boyfriend (32M), he is a local Asian man. Me a caucasian male from Western country and we live in a reasonably English Asian state. We have been dating for about 6 months, but lately I have said I no longer want to spend time with his friends.:Reason being that when we end up spending time with his local friends they speak in cantonese only. Knowing that I do not understand as such I am completely excluded from all proceedings. On top of this his best friend 32F on our most recent time out has for the 3rd time mentioned that she has "no desire to listen to or talk to a white man". To try and keep the peace I have said that he is welcome to spend time with them and ill do my own thing. He claims that the lack of english is due to a cultural differences, while in my opinion its just being rude So question is does this make me the arsehole or was i handling things in a mature way? | AITA for not wanting to spend time with BF's friends | NTA |
10z0kkg | I am recovering from an injury sustained in a bike accident. My wife and I had planned to do a big (for her) ride together last year (London to Brighton) but I had to miss it due to surgery. She did it herself and did well (sub 4hrs). We have re-entered again this year and the plan was to do it together, but it is clear from training rides we have different approaches. She wants to pootle again and stop for snacks and rests. I want to hammer it as best I can, eat on the wheel etc. We went for a mountain bike ride together last week and she just kept wanting to stop to check directions, eat, drink etc. I was cold and irritable because we were stopping every 10 minutes. She just said she wanted to do the L2B on her own so she didn't feel pressure to stick to my pace. We are just generally not in a great place this week for a few reasons but she seems extra annoyed with me at the moment. AITA? Should I just relax and ride slow with her? | AITA for wanting to ride at a different pace to my wife? | YTA |
10z0djt | My younger brother (20) and I are “roommates”About 1 year ago, him and his GF broke up which was weird but I was happy cuz she was kinda annoying We moved into our apartment during their break upIt was the 1st or 2nd week in the apartment when she shows up at 2am trying to open the front door and then banging on the window.I was thinking someone was trying to break in at first I swing the door open all mad “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK”And she’s like “I’m calling and calling your brother and he’s not answering!”And I’m like “HE’S SLEEPING!”She demands that I let her in and my dumbass opens the door.She wakes him up, they go to his room, and they argueI hear my brother telling her to leave.I tell her this is the last time she shows up here doing something dramaticOne week later, I get home from work and realize that she’s been inside the apartment while we were at work. She had the apartment key. And they tried hiding this from me.I was LIVID. Went to my brother’s room, argued with both of them, told her she wasn’t welcome and that I want her outShe storms out of the room to argue with me, claiming that she can be in this apartment because this is also her boyfriend’s apartmentIm 10 years older than these kids, I wasn’t about to argue with her.They both left that nightSINCE THEN, I’ve gotten home and found them fucking on the couchMy brother and I bring people over all the time.The girlfriend? I don’t want her anywhere near the apartment. It makes me sad that it got to this point but I really don’t like that girl anymore AITA for not letting my brother bring her to the house??(For the record, I told my brother he can bring her whenever I’m not home) | AITA for not allowing brother’s girlfriend to come over? | YTA |
10z0d7h | My friend (29F) says that I (29M) can’t fetishize gay men and aren’t an interloper in MLM spaces because I am a gay man. I had a stint of writing M/M fanfiction even before I came out as a man and should not have done that because I thought I was a cishet woman at the time. Past Me did fetishize and sexualize gay men/MLM. I am bad at making friends and socializing IRL; online is far easier.Most of the MLM spaces I’ve found online are for cis gays. They often think that people who aren’t cis gay men ruin erotica. A genre which I used to write on AO3. If you want to see what I used to write as Evidence, most of which was deleted and reuploaded last year, I go by bookwyrmdragon there. I am now solely writing M/F and refuse to write erotica anymore because I am extremely worried about fetishizing and sexualizing gay men.I desperately want to impress the cis gay men who say that people who aren’t cis gay men have Ruined M/M Erotica. I want them to like me and I want to fit in. This is because I would like to be part of MLM communities and don’t feel Gay Enough. They think someone like me should not be in their spaces. I am an interloper. My friend (29F) and I keep fighting about this. I don’t know who’s right. I know that I feel like I’m fetishizing and sexualizing gay men. Who I desperately want community with. Who’s right here?Also as a disclaimer, I did write the M/M erotica that’s been preserved on AO3 after coming out. I have been Out as A Guy since 2019. The fanfiction erotica was written in 2020 and 2021 before I deleted it and reuploaded it in 2022. But I still think I shouldn’t have written it because I’m not a cis gay man and I’m fetishizing and sexualizing gay men. | AITA for fetishizing gay men? | NTA |
10z091w | Forgive the format I'm writing from my phone and also English is not my first language. So for a little background, my(22F) cousin(23M) made plans to get away with our partners one weekend where we split the costs equally so as to be able to afford it. For accommodation we decided on a self catering place and to confirm the booking a non refundable fee had to be paid and the rest to be paid on check in . I paid the deposit and the booking was confirmed. Fast forward a week before the time we were supposed to leave my cousin just cancelled without giving a reason. My boyfriend and I can't go cause we won't be able to afford it without these guys meaning the deposit i paid is going to be lost . So i asked my cousin that it is no fault of mine that the trip is cancelled and I can't carry the loss alone . I agreed to lose 10% . Everyone around us is saying TA for doing that.So AITA fir making my cousin pay me back | AITA FOR MAKING MY COUSIN PAY ME BACK THE MONEY I SPENT | YTA |
10yzx44 | Throwaway account. I (25F) will be attending my friend Sarah's (26F) bachelorette party soon. We met in uni years ago, but are not very close. Still, I believe I know her and her temperament quite well after spending time with each other daily for those 3 years. She's comfortable around people she knows well, but is not a fan of big crowds, being the center of attention and is somewhat prone to anxiety. She's also a bit more conservative than me and the other friends involved.​Sarah is throwing a bachelorette party and invited me along with 5 other friends. In general, the idea of having strippers at a bachelorette party is indifferent to me: not a huge fan, but would have no problem if a friend wanted to have them at their party. Sarah is organizing the party, but we have a group (without Sarah) chat to organize a surprise for her - I thought a gift, a dinner, a hike, etc. One of the girls threw in a website for male strippers with a funny caption. I thought it was a joke and answered accordingly. Another one replied that she thought it was a great idea, and kept insisting on it. A third one (whom I don't know) mentioned she also liked it. At this point I said that "this was clearly a joke, given who the event is for" and suggested other options. The person that initially suggested said it was a joke at first, but seeing everyone is up for it, maybe it's a good option.​I don't know most of the other girls well, and I assume they are all closer to the bride than I am. Knowing her, she really seems the type of person who would not like to be in this situation, especially being surprised by it, but I figured maybe I am in the wrong here - she's always expressed that this is not what she would go for, but maybe it's something she wants and only confided in her closest friends. But the thought of potentially making her super uncomfortable when she's supposed to be having a great time kept me thinking about it.​I told a friend who is very close with both me and Sarah (but cannot attend the bachelorette party, so she's not in the group chat) and asked for her opinion. She was horrified. She reinforced the idea I had that she hates being the center of attention, is not a party person, and even mentioned that she might have a strong reaction to this. She asked me to try and dissuade the others and told me she would intervene if needed.​I have expressed in the group chat that I think she will be deeply uncomfortable, but they are still considering and saying she might actually like it. If it comes to it and they decide to hire a stripper, I am really uncomfortable with throwing this "surprise" to our friend. In case they actually go through with hiring the stripper, would I be the asshole if I told Sarah they are planning this and potentially ruin the "surprise"? | WIBTA if I told my friend about the surprise stripper at her bachelorette party? | NTA |
10yz01n | I have two roommates, A and B. We have a 3 bed 2 bath apartment, and B has their own bathroom while A and I share one. A and I have both had girlfriends for 3-4 months respectively. Our rent recently went up $200 as we are on a month-to-month contract until we find housing. We play a flat rate per month on water and WiFi, but power fluctuates. My GF spends two nights a week at the apartment, three max maybe one week out of the month, and I spend 2 nights a week at her place. A’s girlfriend spends 5-7 nights a week here. At first, it started off being about the same amount as my GF, but for the past two months, it has been way more consistent. She basically lives here at this point, as she now uses our washing machine, uses common spaces, etc. They aren’t in the living room too much, but they are in the shared bathroom constantly, to the point where I have to get up early to ensure I’ll get time in the bathroom to shower and get ready. She is also here when A is not sometimes, which is quite annoying. We found out that A gave her a key a few weeks into dating, without asking our permission. Because of this, I did the same thing, since we weren’t considering other people’s opinions anymore.I brought this up to B, and they also think that A’s GF should contribute to rent at least a little bit, and split utilities with us since she is here more often than she isn’t. They agreed that since they are in the bathroom and now using the washing machine, it’s only fair as she is living rent free right now. We aren’t asking for a four way split, but think she should cover the amount our rent went up, so $200.The problem that may come up is that we are pretty sure A’s GF pays for most of their dates, drives them everywhere, etc. Because of this, we are afraid they won’t want to start contributing because, in their eyes, they have a fair trade going on. But the thing is, that doesn’t help B or I with our living expenses. It also goes against our lease for her to be over that often, but we are afraid they might try to turn that back on my GF and I because she sometimes stay 1 day over the maximum amount per month.WIBTA if we asked A’s GF to contribute to rent for this month (which we already paid, so she would just split the money three ways and give it to me, A, and B) and split our last month’s partial rent ($500 or so) 4-ways if she is going to be here 5+ nights a week? Or how would we bring up that we don’t want her over here that often without sounding like an asshole? | WIBTA if I asked my roommate to have their GF start paying rent? | NTA |
10yylxr | I (19F) have two friends Mia 18F and Jessica 22F. I wasn't able to contact them for a while since I was very ill, I let them know that I would not be communicating much due to the fact that is just not possible for me plus I had a lot else happening irl. I only communicated with them online since they moved away but I will be seeing them again later this year since they're moving back.Anyways, yesterday things were fine for me so I was able to talk to them but they seemed unusually dry. I am in a groupchat with them alone and in another groupchat with them +1 other friend Emily who they met recently and who I don't actually know well btw and only talked to once .The groupchat with Emily seemed more active and happy and they'd text there and ignore my messages on our groupchat alone but then they'd reply after a few minutes so I didn't say anything. But Emily was not that active and was just giving one word responses so it was weird.I brushed it off since I don't want to fight with anyone and I felt like I was just being too sensitive. But today I saw on the other groupchat with Emily that Jessica 'Guess Emily and that will have to see a lot of messages today'. Then Mia sent an emoji of someone rolling their eyes. They had sent around 200 messages so I know they meant the gc because it only has me, Emily, Jessica and Mia. English isn't my first language but Jessica is from the UK so I know it's her first language. I feel a bit hurt by being referred to as 'that'. I feel like they are being mean. They have also mentioned on the gc without Emily that 'at least Emily doesn't disappear for so long without messaging' and their tone when talking to me now just feels off. WIBTA if I confronted them? I feel really hurt. | WIBTA if I confronted my friends? | NTA |
10yyint | We had a group project to do for uni and I naturally ended up taking the lead. I had done most of the research and left the final compilation to the rest of the group. We had several group meetings where we discussed ideas and decided on a plan. The day before the due date, my best friend told me she didn't agree with how I've done the project, that I went off topic, and I've made it too complicated. She then went on to change everything I had done (getting several facts wrong) and ended up making a project that had no real "point" to it. When I saw that, I was angry/humiliated/frustrated/irritated, so I left the group chat and told her to do whatever she wanted. The next day they spoke to the lecturer and realized that I was actually on the right path. They had to redo the whole thing the way I had originally suggested. I feel like she was clearly in the wrong for doing what she did. But did I overreact? | AITA for leaving the WhatsApp group? | NTA |
10yy188 | I'm thinking of an April's Fools joke where I switch my partner's stuff in her office with child play stuff (fake laptop, kid's chair, fake keyboard) and putting fake food and utensils out at breakfast?I would put it in front of her actual laptops and have real food ready too. I am not looking to imply she is childish. I just thought it may be funny.EDIT: I would keep her stuff there and just put the kid stuff in front. I don't want her dealing with replugging stuff. | WIBTA if I replaced all my partner's stuff with child play items? | INFO |
10yx7mg | AITA for wanting to rehome the cats in our house?My family recently moved into a new town as we got lucky enough to secure a decent but cheap house. The last owners obviously fed the stray cats in our neighborhood as I was greeted by a small colony of them after moving in. At that point, we had 2 cats ourselves (strictly indoors) that were well taken care of and fed a quality diet. Our house is pretty small. It’s 2 bedrooms and one bath. It’s me, my husband (Andrew 35M), and our two daughters (Madeleine 5 and Mae 2, both special needs). After recent health scares, his mother also moved in with us. So, to say our house is full is an understatement. Now onto the current issue; Andrew will not stop bringing in the friendly cats. It’s gotten to the point where we have to buy a big bag of cheap cat food to feed them. We currently have 5 cats. That may not seem like a lot to everyone, but we do not have the room. They also barely tolerate each other. We do not have the spare cash to help any of these cats now which means I cannot get the newest cats neutered/spayed. I have been looking into cheaper programs for this. I’m currently the only one working and I can’t keep up. I also take care of all therapy appointments for my children (Around 10 hours per week) and I’m expected to still do a 50/50 split on household chores. To say I’m worn out is an understatement. I want to rehome at least 2 of the newest cats. Besides the fact I cannot provide for them the way they deserve, I feel incredibly guilty for my oldest cats losing the quality of living that they had for years. If I had it my way, it would just be the two oldest cats in this house but I cannot get my husband to stop. I would be somewhat (MAYBE) okay with the new ones if he helped with the litter or got a job to help with finances. My family won’t visit me anymore because of the smell. He recently started letting in a new cat that constantly gets into any food left out or into our garbage. I’m done with all of these. I cannot handle the stress anymore of everything plus these new cats. They’re sweethearts, they deserve a home that would care for them the way I used to care for my oldest cats. WIBTA if I found them new homes? Obviously I wouldn’t do it secretly and would tell him my plans, but if he disagrees, I would go through with it on my own.Note: Yes, Andrew sucks. Divorce has been on my mind for a very long time but I cannot move out of this house with my current job/education/children/lack of transportation. The house is in his and his mother’s name, and our only car is in his name. | AITA for wanting to rehome the cats in our house? | NTA |
10ywu22 | I met my online friend 8 years ago. We have been very close and over the years I caught feelings for him, and initially, he felt the same. We had a strong relationship and talked everyday. However, I happened to start lying about personal things I didn't wanna share with him. He caught my lies and gave me another chance, he would say: it's fine if you don't want to answer the questions I ask, but don't lie about them. But if I ever chose to not answer, he would get mad. I didn't like getting him mad, therefore I just made up answers to his questions (I lied). As my lies went on, he got fed up and stopped talking to me. I was devestated, he was the only person I talked to everyday. I didn't want to lose him. He offered me a chance after a month, this time he asked me to send him money if I wanted to continue talking. I know this makes me sound pathetic, but well I did send him money. I sent him money for maybe over a year. It was money paid each month to continue talking to him. At some point, I wasn't able to pay him anymore. I am a student and I was having financial hardships at the time. He again stopped talking to me, it got a lot more tough. It was like my whole life was dependent on him, I know it sucks! He knew this and said that he was afraid about how clingy I am. So this time, he ended things for good. I couldn't accept it. Now, he is from Iran, and because of sanctions, he isn't able to earn much. According to what he claims, he isn't well set financially. Honestly, I find him a great guy, he is extremely talented! I thought if I offered to create a freelance account for him to work and then pay him in crypto currency, maybe he would want to talk to me. It would be a win-win. I get to talk to him, he gets to make money. I told him about it, and he was into the idea. He made a fair amount of money the first few months, but around 4 months in, we stopped getting much orders. He complained about it and well, I was afraid he would leave me because of this. I started faking orders. I lied about orders to him, and I kept lying, I made him work for nothing. He was happy because he taught he was earning a lot and he kept talking to me. It went on and I owed him 6k USD. I decided to stop, because financially I wouldn't be able to pay him back at once. I told him about it. He wasn't happy. Because he thought he was earning good, he spent his life savings on three expensive devices. He spent 3k on all of it, and now he claims that this 3k was all he had, it was his life savings. We are now still freelancing, and I am slowly paying him back. I've paid around 2k out of the 6k. But now, I don't want to keep talking to him. Most of the time he calls me a thief, tells me how I've ruined his life, talks about how I'm connected to his life problems. I can't hear any of it anymore, it is difficult to. I don't wanna hear these things before bed every night. While I return his money, I don't want to be in contact with him. | AITA for faking things to keep talking to my online friend? | ESH |
10z2fod | I (24M) and my wife recently had our 5 year anniversary. We had planned to go to a nice restaurant, then ride In a hot airballon and then go to a lake and relax. I was going to buy her flowers and all.Then out of the blue, one day before my anniversary, I get a text from my mom demanding me to babysit my sister for a week, while she and my dad go visit my aunt who recently got diagnosed with leukemia.Now, I love my sister. We're 18 years apart but are still closer than ever. She has a bit of a mental challenge but otherwise Is a pretty normal kid.I was debating whether to say yes, but I didn't want a kid in tow while I was having a date with my wife.So I politely declined and didn't get an answer, so I thought it was okay.The next day, we're at the restaurant when my phone startes buzzing like crazy, I check it and it's filled with texts from my mom and dad.They're calling me all sorts of things and saying that they showed up at my house, only for it to be empty.They're now ignoring me, when I write to them and I haven't gotten an answer.AITA?Edit : My sister Is currently staying with a family friend who we've known all our lives.The friend has two kids who are very close to my sister. The family friend said she wouldn't mind keeping her for the week as she gets a break from her twins, and encouraged me to relax.Edit : My aunt Is NOT in critical condition, she Is doing fine. She also lives far away, and it takes a couple of hours to get to her. | AITA for wanting to spend time with ny wife, instead of babysitting my little sister? | NTA |
10z39dl | I (M30s) live with my wife (F30s). We both work full-time jobs and have three kids, ages 3, 6 and 7.I used to work from home with flexible hours but I've been offered a promotion which requires me to go to work in person. The pay increase is really significant so my wife and I agreed I should take the promotion and hire a part-time nanny for our kids.I got in touch with a nanny agency and they matched us to someone who lives local. They only told us her first name which was a really common name anyway, but for the sake of story telling we'll say her name's Sarah.I spoke to Sarah on the phone and she seemed really nice. We arranged a day for her to come over and meet my wife and the kids and for us to show her around the house.When the day came around and we met her, it turned out that my wife already knew Sarah. It was really awkward. I wasn't sure how they knew each other until afterwards.My wife told me that back when she was in high school, her boyfriend at the time cheated on her with Sarah who was in her class.She wasn't enthusiastic about it but my wife didn't seem to have a problem with Sarah being our nanny at first. Our kids love her, she has lots of experience and she's available when we need her.After a couple of weeks with pretty much no issues, my two oldest kids come to me and say that they don't want Sarah to come back. I ask them why and they said she's "evil". I ask why they think she's evil and our 6 year old starts crying and says that Sarah is mean and wants to hurt mommy.I talked to my wife in private and at first she said she had no idea what the kids were talking about and that it must be because of something Sarah did. When I pressed it, my wife admitted that she told the kids that Sarah is evil. She said she knows it was a ridiculous plan but she was hoping I'd fire her. My wife asked me to fire the nanny because their history makes her uncomfortable.I asked why it wasn't an issue before. My wife said she just needed to think about it and she's decided Sarah has to go.I told my wife that we can find another nanny but until then there's no reason to get rid of Sarah, and that she was out of line for trying to weaponise the kids against her when Sarah is no danger to them.My wife disagreed and said that we need to just fire Sarah ASAP and hire a temporary babysitter until we can find another nanny. She said that she wasn't weaponising the kids, she was just setting boundaries.This turned into a really heated argument and I called my wife insecure and controlling, and told her she needs to go to therapy. My wife said I'm being inconsiderate of her feelings and need to put myself in her shoes.This was one of our biggest arguments in a very long time and I just want a neutral opinion on whether I was wrong. | AITA for arguing with my wife and refusing to fire the nanny? | ESH |
10z13sj | This happened during December. So basically, I, 55F have 4 children, William 25M, Alexa 16F and Gabriel 14M. My daughter has autism which means she can get a bit moody seometimes. For example, she broke my son's laptop when he did not share the laptop he got for Christmas. My adult son is a stem major and is pretty wealthy so he helped with the costs last Christmas. But, this year, my daughter has been getting teased about her autism and wasn't in the mood for a big celebration so we only had my son visiting. I did not want the same events with Gabriel's laptop to repeat this year so I called Wiliam to not buy any presents. I only bought my daughter presents because she would get upset if she is not the only one with presents. And when it was time for gifts on Christmas, Gabriel started crying for no reason and William left the house. But the day after Christmas, he came into the house with a lot of gifts for Gabriel. I berated him for not taking his sister in consideration. Then he called me a bad mother while his sister was crying and screaming the whole time.AITA for not wanting my daughter cry and berating my son for being so rude and inconsiderate?EDIT: Sorry guys. And thank you all for showing me the errors of my ways. It came to me that my daughter would not be able to be independent. I am the asshole. I should have treated my daughter as a human being who could be treated the same as neuro divergent people. For the confusion, my other daughter who is 28 cut contact with me after college, I always wondered why but I guess it is because she did not feel loved enough. I am planning to take everyone to a resturant to apologize. | AITA for wanting to keep the peace. | YTA |
10z274l | Me (29F) and my fiancé (30M) are getting married this coming December, two years to the day after we got engaged. We are having a very small wedding (50 people) and majority of the guests are friends as we only have three family members from each side attending. Or so I thought...Since we got engaged a year and almost 2 months ago now, we have always said the ceremony and reception are going to be kid-free. His mom, brother, and sister in law (with their 3yo and 4 month old) live in South FL and we live in Colorado. His family received the Save The Dates this week and all we have heard is, "I hope we can find someone to watch the dogs so we can go" and I mf quote "That's asking us to leave our kids with a stranger for several hours not a few; no amount of time really remedies that. It's also a huge expense for us to travel all that way (kids don't fly free) to have three of us not be able to even attend. It's unfortunate we might not make it but at least you'll have FMIL and FBIL there."... They don't have a single human on earth that they trust enough to watch their kids for about 6 hours, they don't want to try to start to trust someone over the next 10 months, they are concerned who will watch their combined three dogs, and that's the fucking issue right now. She has known this since the day we got engaged, we all talked about it when we went down to celebrate our engagement, and she and I have texted about it two to three times and it wasn't an issue like it is right now. It's not an out of state birthday party or something, we're getting married. We thought about eloping and taking a nice trip but we wanted to celebrate with our families. Since half of them aren't coming, I feel like we should cancel and elope. Her plan was to bring her mom and have her watch the kids but now her mom's husband is sick so she might not want to so now but her message mentioned cost as a huge factor so I'm not sure exactly what the actual reason is. His SIL said "omg lol don't be dramatic" about me saying I'll look into getting a refund for whatever we paid for this far. I may be the asshole by cancelling everything and losing out on some of the money we already paid for reserving stuff and I would have to contact everyone else and say jk nvm, no wedding. Am I TA or overreacting? | AITA for wanting to cancel our wedding? | YTA |
10z20cb | To preface this I’m (21M) a soldier and currently doing long distance with my fiancé (20F) who is in college in our hometown. My fiancé and I were discussing our marriage timeline and when we could do it and I mentioned the army has programs to help with moving costs which i thought was cool! Well she said she doesn’t think she would move to my base right away and I said I understood she might have to get stuff in order and that’d be okay since it takes a month or two for BAH to kick in for married soldiers. She then said she would actually want to stay in our hometown for the rest of her two years in college to finish her degree. This came from left field to me because we have actively looked at colleges that would accept her credits and everything and have even went looking at apartments together in my area. So as far as I knew we both were on the same page of marriage then credit transfer. Her reasons for wanting to stay are because she likes her current college and couldn’t handle a move from home AND a new school. I told her the base isn’t too far (~4 hours) so we could visit home often and she could still have some sort of support system. I realize it’s a scary prospect to move away from home to a new city and school but from my point of view she knew everything that marrying a soldier entails and I asked over and over if she was okay with that and had my mom talk to us about a soldiers marriage since my mom was an army wife for 14 years. With that said I can’t take the idea of spending 2 years as long distance only to marry her and spend another 2 apart. I’ve been looking at online programs and schools that accept her credits so she doesn’t get pushed back in her education and at the same time online since I figure it’d be less intimidating than a new in person school. She accused me of asking her to throw away her future and education just to live with her but I don’t want that. I want us to find a solution that has us together and works for her too but every solution I give gets shot down. She is refusing any notion of her transferring schools. She even said a new city and school at the same time would stress her so much she thinks we’d end in divorce (big red flag I think) This is all new like I said because just a month ago she was excited about the prospect of us finally living together and a new area and school. I don’t know what prompted this. Am I asking too much here? I realize this is only my side of the disagreement and therefore biased but I hope some insight from y’all will help. If I left anything out that would help you make a verdict let me know and I’ll provide any needed information.EDIT: Thank you all for the insight and advice. I think my best course of action would be postpone the wedding until she’s got her degree and suck up the extra 2 years. It’ll allow us to both work towards a more stable relationship and also our careers. I think maybe what I thought was best for both of us is in reality better for me and asking more of her. 4 hours isn’t too far in the grand scheme of things.Again thank you all you’ve been a great help! | AITA for telling my fiancé I won’t live apart for 2 years? | NAH |
10z1vdp | Obligatied this happened last night right before midnight. I'm 19F.I instructed my driver to leave my order outside of the dorm building on the wall by the entrance doors. It was less than a minute when she finished delivering it and to the point I was down on the first floor outside looking for my order. It was gone because in under a minute the desk clerks immediately hopped up from their desk, grabbed it, and set it behind their counter. And keep in mind, their desk is actually pretty good walk from the doors. There wasn't another sole in site and I knew nobody else would've taken it besides the desk, so I walked my way over and I saw my order on their side of the counter.I walked over very politely, smiling, and I was like, "oh that's mine!! :)" (my voice is naturally really soft, shy, & quiet so i know I wasn't being loud or demeaning to these workers.) and they stared at me and asked for some sort of *confirmation* that it was mine. I handed them my student ID and said it should probably be the same name as the receipt and she seemed to get angry and asked for a little more than that.I was like, "oh yeah okay sorry! i'll go on the app." i proceeded to go on the uber eats app and i showed them the receipt/where it says "Ordered Delivered! : Name dropp,d it off at this location" with the photo, date & time, and order number"They stared at each other making these weird faces and asked me for some type of confirmation code that it was mine and i looked more at the app and all I could show them was what I already did."i'm sorry there's nothing else I can really show y'all!! i gave my id, receipt, order number, photo, and everything." they make wide eyes to each other and just holding my bag in their hands. still as soft and quiet as ever, and I'm even trying to laugh at thus point, I said "can i have my food please? im sorry i showed you it was mine, thanks!!"as SOON as I said that their faces dropped with the BIGGEST widest eyes and mouths I've ever seen completely staring at each other shocked and staring at me and one of the girls yelled to the other "YOOOO WHY DOES SHE HAVE SUCH AN ATTITUDE?!?!?!? YOOOO" and now I'm shocked and I tell them "excuse me? i asked for my food politely because i showed you every confirmation it was mine and it's late. i'm not having an attitude ive been nothing but kind and compliant with what you asked for." and they just keep staring at each other and me shocked and they slowly hand me my food and immediately switch up and say "okay well YOU have a goodnight." like the fake sarcastic tone yknow.I never left though. I walked away from the desk but I stayed in the hall and I didn't go to my room. I hear them start SCREAMING again "YOOO THAT WHITE GIRL HAD SUCH AN ATTITUDE AAAHHHHAAAAAA" crying laughing and being mad. I didn't say anything and I left it with them at that.Thank you all!! I messaged my RA about the incident and she said she reported it to the ACD but i have no idea if anything would be done with this. should i go to the hall director himself in his office? EDIT 2: I'm not going to type out something fake, I'm telling it how it is. As I walked back I could hear it going up the elevator just them insulting me, screaming, and laughing. The girls said YOOOOO so loud that it hurt my ears and made me shocked. if it was an offhand quiet comment to the other girl I probably would've let it slide because if they want to gossip like that in front of me, then go ahead but it was loud. it was verbal. it was screaming. it was insulting.this post has nothing to do with race. i love this college and its one of the most diverse in texas, if I had a problem with it, I wouldn't be here. | AITA for asking the front desk of my college to give me my Uber Eats order? | NTA |
10z1g1i | My (19F) brother (22M) is dating this girl (23F) who resembles a lot our mom (47F). They both have the same hair and eye colour, around the same height and even similar interests such as cooking, yoga and even favourite TV shows. She could easily pass off as our mom's daughter (heck, probably even better than me) and the fact that this is the woman my brother is dating and sleeping with is just creeping me the f out. My brother's gf was invited for dinner and seeing her also have similar mannerisms to our mom while eating was just too much for me to take in anymore and so I took my brother out to a private chat. I asked him how can he accept such a creepy situation and he asked me what the hell I was talking about, I said to stop playing dumb, it couldn't be more obvious that he's dating a stand in for our mom and it's creepy as hell how the girl he's dating could literally pass off her as his own better sister even better than I could. My brother called me crazy and said that I'm making perverted scenarios in my head, but I replied that if someone is acting like a pervert, it's him. Well, my brother didn't take it very well and him and his stand in mom, I mean gf, ended up leaving early. My mom was confused and asked me what I discussed with him, but I obviously couldn't tell her the truth and so I made up an excuse. 2 weeks have passed since then and my brother still hasn't contacted either me or my mom and my mom is starting to get worried about him and I wonder if it's my fault for what I told him at that dinner.AITA ? | AITA for being creeped out by how similar my mom and brother's gf are ? | YTA |
10z4o8v | First world problems alert. Our daughter recently turned 16. For her birthday, she was getting a vehicle. She had been learning to drive with my 2010 Nissan Titan while she held her permit. I was gifting her the truck, it was twofold actually. I had been wanting to get a Silverado, she needed a vehicle. The day before her birthday, I had the truck professionally detailed in and out. I take the upmost care of my vehicles, both cosmetically and mechanically. The truck looks brand new practically. On her birthday, I took her to the DMV. She thought we were there to do her road test and get her license. After she passed, I pulled the Titan’s title out and said Happy Birthday! That’s when she pretty much made an embarrassing scene because OMG I’M NOT DRIVING A GRANDPA TRUCK DADDDDD. I’m 39 for the record. She threw a tantrum because she wanted a blue Jeep Wrangler. We walked out momentarily to speak, I wanted her to know exactly how rude her behavior was when her father was giving her a truck any other 16 year old would be extremely grateful for. Eventually she apologized, but we had another hiccup when I told her she’ll get full access to it when I get another truck which was already in the works, I was just waiting on the bank to close the loan. Ultimately, I told her to forget it. She was just acting like a spoiled brat. Later that night, I suppose she thought about her behavior as she began asking questions then said she realized how immature she acted. She asks, “So since you were gonna sign it over to me, does that mean I could drive it for a bit, sell it and then put the money towards a Wrangler?”My response was, of course you could have. By me signing the vehicle over to you, it was officially yours to do what you’d like with it. She says, “Oh. Ok, well I’ve thought about it and I would like to have it.” Nerp. Doesn’t work that way, you gone lost your opportunity girly. She totally flipped out, said I should have told her at the DMV she could sell it and keep the money. She told her mother I was being totally unfair. My wife agreed to her not getting the truck (probably cause she didn’t want me buying a brand new Silverado…insert eye roll). The next day, she very sweetly asked for the truck again and then hinted around about me finally getting a Silverado. I didn’t say anything. I went in my office, printed out a McDonald’s employment application. I stuck it in an envelope, handed it to her. She was ecstatic, probably thinking it was the title. She opened it and said….YOU SUCK. I told her, if you want a Wrangler…GET JOB. My wife said I was an idiot, I took it way too far. Maybe so, but I’ve realized our child needs to learn not only the value of a dollar, but also needs to learn how to be grateful in life. It sucks this happened, since it was part of her birthday. I didn’t anticipate this type of behavior. It was upsetting, I felt like she slung crap at me. Now every time I look at my truck, all I can think…ITSA GRANDPA TRUCK! | AITA? I gave my daughter a McDonald’s application when she was behaving like a brat. | NTA |
10z4r9d | At my condo my boyfriend and I have two assigned parking spots. One under cover and one out in the open. The one under cover has a charging station for an electric car. Until recently neither of us had an electric car. I however have a beat to hell Jeep Wrangler that I love. We use it for going almost everywhere. I usually park it under cover and my boyfriend used the other spot for his smalle car. We recently purchased a Nissan Leaf for him. So now I have to use the other spot. Not really a big deal. Except for my asshat neighbor. They seem to think that since they drive a huge truck, and my boyfriend would always park to give them room, that I should do the same. But like I said. Beat to absolute hell Wrangler. So now when they park over the line I park as close as I can to them. Then I jump out the back or other side of I can. If I get home before them I park centered in my spot. Which forces them to park centered in their spot like adults. Last week they caught me parking close to their truck again and started yelling at me for parking like an asshole. So I took a picture of their parking job and sent it to the condo board. And they were fined for parking over the line. My boyfriend says that I shouldn't be starting shit but he hates confrontation. I see no reason why I should cater to these knuckle dragging troglodytes. I never ding their truck or anything. But the passenger has to crawl in and bring in their side mirror so they can pull out sometimes. I could park further over but then I inconvenience the neighbors on the other side. I know if I had a better car I wouldn't do this. But since I don't I cannot be bothered to care. I'm not sure it was them but somebody keyed my Jeep. I laughed and fixed it with nail polish and a sticker. They think I'm an asshole and my boyfriend thinks I'm antagonizing them. I think I'm in the right. So I guess I'm here for an outside perspective. AITA? | AITA for "parking like an asshole" | NTA |
10z47ni | So where I work, there has been a homeless couple living in a car in our parking lot for several months. The car doesn't belong to them, had a smashed in window, and was from out-of-state. We never bothered them, until over the course of a few weeks, they came in, drank hand sanitizer, and started asking customers for money. The final straw was when the woman also told one of my (male) employees that he owed her child support. After that, I called the police about it, who said the car wasn't reported stolen, so there was nothing they could do. I called a tow company, who came and took the car, kicked them out, and had them grab all of their stuff. Now I can see them walking around aimlessly without anywhere to go and I feel so guilty. So, AITA for towing an abandoned car that some people were living in? | AITA for towing a homeless person's "borrowed" car? | NTA |
10z263r | So to add to context, my ex and I are on the other side of a 13 year relationship which ended with a 5 year restraining order where he nor anyone on his behalf can contact me, or reference me in anything on any social media platform, he cannot come near me or reside in any community near me. The only contact that can be made is in relation to our 3 children and has to be via an agreed 3rd party on both regards. Our relationship consisted heavily of domestic violence in many forms...although whilst living through it I was blindly convinced that I had managed to shield it from the children as for the most part he had an amazing bond with 2 of them. Our younger boy (now 10) just clashed with him and they never really got along overly well. At the end of the relationship it was horrendous and long story short the final straw and unforgivable point was when he video called our eldest (11m) and committed a fake suicide attempt whilst pleading for another chance...knowing his children (11m and 9m) were witnessing....aside from not being hands on, and disappearing for his social life, this was the only negative factor that they obviously saw from their father. They have naturally been very very confused and emotional since. I completely relocated, lost most of my belongings in the process and have rebuild mine and my children's lives from scratch near my brother over 200 miles away. Now here is where I may be TA, its taken 10 months but I insisted on a contact centre even though court documents don't say this is needed, he provided doctors notes to social services that he went to them and said he had a mental breakdown so they said as long as there is no repeat that they have no concerns as his issues are only directed towards me. After refusing for the first 19 months he finally agreed but now it is my sons now 12 and 10 who do not want to see him...and honestly I am not overly interested in trying to force the matter. I have tried to be unbiased when talking about it with them (which is hard given the last and as now he has deliberately changed his circumstances to lower cs payments which he doesnt pay anyway while telling the kids about all of the holidays hes been going on) but ultimately I have said its their own choice so in the first visit only our daughter (3) went in. Apparently I should be trying harder to separate my own emotions and let him prove himself to the boys and I should encourage them to be open to this. I personally believe that he is now reaping what he sowed as clearly they have made up their own mind. I have been conscious to not talk poorly of their father around them, but it has become evident that they picked up on far more than I ever realised from during the relationship and have made their own judgement of him. Personally I feel that he will not sustain the visits as they are costly and he has to travel 200 miles just to see them for 2 hours, and I refuse to entertain a centre half way when he will not pay child support. Am I being and AH and should I try to get them to give him a chance to prove that he's changed? | AITA for not encouraging kids to see their dad? | NTA |
10z3wog | A few friends and I have been meeting up after work once a week on Fridays to play Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) for the past 3 months (though we took a break over Christmas and new years, and have skipped an additional week here and there). I have a wife who is a stay at home mom taking care of our one and a half year old daughter while I'm not home. Recently she's been getting upset at me the nights I'm out playing DnD because I'm not home to help her take care of our daughter on Friday evenings. She feels like it's not fair that I get to hang out with friends once a week while she has to stay home watching out daughter. I've told her that I'm more than willing to let her go out with her friends when she wants to and I'll stay home with our daughter, but she says that's not the point. I don't feel like going out one night a week (or less often) is a lot to ask, but she seems to feel differently. Am I the asshole here? | AITA for going out to play Dungeons and Dragons with friends while leaving my wife and daughter at home? | NTA |
10z38fv | 2 weeks ago, my best friend and his fiancé got into an argument where the phrase, “the wedding is off” was thrown around, so he messaged his side of the party to inform us that there wasn’t going to be a wedding. Secretly released, I told him if he needed anything I would help and support him. Later in the week, I call to see ho he’s doing and he’s fine and apparently his fiancé “misspoke” and my friend “overreacted” and the wedding wasn’t off. 🙄. Last weekend I get a group message from his fiancé about how the wedding plans have changed AGAIN, and the new link to go make reservations. A few hours later he calls me and says he and his fiancé are eloping and that he has to uninvite his entire party, but not me…I was really thrown off by this but I didn’t really react initially. A few hours later his brother calls me and asks if I was uninvited as well. I told him I wasn’t but that I was seriously considering declining my invitation due to the situation. He told me our friendship wouldn’t be effected, since he and I were already friends prior to this. Yesterday I talked to my friend who stated his mom was extremely upset with him because his brothers both felt betrayed by him and exiled them and picked me over them to still be at his wedding ceremony over them. I told him he needs to mend the relationship with his brothers. He and I are meeting up later this week and I’m wondering if I should tell him to reconsider everything. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to go to my best friends wedding? | NTA |
10z099m | Let's get the context out of the way. I am several years into sobriety from opiates and have also not had a drink in many years. I choose not to drink because of many years observing my parents relationship with alcohol. I, who am not an expert by any means, would consider them both to be highly functional alcoholics. Every thing is a chance to drink some sort of liquor. If they aren't at work there's a drink in their hand and even then sometimes a mimosa or Bailey's coffee is on the menu. One occasion stands out, I was 6 months sober and to celebrate my mom offered to take me to lunch because she was proud of me. We proceeded to sit at the bar of on the border while I watched her consume a fishbowl margarita chased down with a tequila shot all while saying how proud she was of me.. I could go on but for the sake of this post I won't. I should mention that I have NO problem being around alcohol or those that choose to drink. Everyone I know does and I don't judge or give anyone a hard time for what they choose to do. My issue here is my parents relationship with alcohol and the fact neither my kids or I get to spend time with them when there isn't alcohol on their breath.So basically I asked them to host my son's 2nd birthday party due to space but asked them not to serve alcohol bc that is their M.O. "we are hosting so therefore we should serve alcohol and get everyone drunk". My mom basically told me that while they weren't going to be handing out shots, their new bar that they are so proud of, would be open to anyone that asked. Since then it has been brought up by them many times, almost as if to give me a hard time for asking this of them. Even going so far as to say "Well she doesn't have to drink but I will". I have not voiced my honest reasoning for why I didn't want alcohol served and have only said its because I didn't feel it was appropriate for the hour and a half we will be celebrating my two year olds birthday.. Am I being overly sensitive?? Is it normal to drink at children's parties? Do I need therapy? LolSorry for poor grammar! | AITA for asking my parents not to serve booze at my kids bday party? | NTA |
10z214d | **Sorry for the bad english**My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been dating for about eight months and we have connected quite well. He has a fairly well-paying job but he lives with his parents, so he doesn't mind spending his money on things for me. I always allowed them to be only romantic details or dates, since after all I am an adult and my expenses had to be paid by me.A month ago I lost my job, and although I had savings, I had to give up luxuries like the gym and the nutritionist, among other things. He had offered me several times to pay for it and I denied it but was grateful, until he said that he also wanted to go to the gym and diet. It seemed like a nice thing to share between the two of us and I thought this would help support us in our goals, so I finally agreed to let him pay for both. That's where the problem started.I can no longer "cheat" (like agreeing to eat junk food with my family or friends), because if he finds out he threatens me to stop paying for the nutritionist (additionally, I'm not overweight. I'm 1.75 m tall and weigh 67 kg , it is not perfect but it is a healthy weight, my goal is more aimed at having a "fit body"). He paid for the gym on the condition that I attend at least three times a week. Discussing what we would do on Valentine's Day, he told me that he would give me chocolates if I "gained eight pounds of lean mass." He offered to buy me AirPods but "only if I took care of them", since he thinks I'm careless about things like cell phones. I did not accept the latter but I appreciated the offer.Those are the things I remember. But there have been a few more situations. I have started to deny him gifts because they no longer feel like gifts, from my point of view, and come with a certain amount of pressure. I told him about this and added that before I liked him to give me gifts because he gave them simply for loving me, not with conditions. He got angry and said that I should be less proud, and that all he asks for is something that he doesn't think are conditions because "those are obvious things that should happen or should be done anyway." I want to know if I'm being an AH or capricious with him. | AITA for denying gifts from my boyfriend if they have conditions? | NTA |
10z0jrp | **TL;DR** at bottom.GF \[F30\] has never liked the relationship I \[M30\] have with my best friend \[F27\] let's call her Luna, she has never done anything to my GF but she swears it's because I trust her so much, from the beginning of the relationship with GF Luna knew the situation and she came to me saying "I know your girlfriend doesn't like me but now she is my best friend's girlfriend and we are still friends".In 3 years of relationship, the first two years were a very toxic and controlling environment from GF, wouldn't let me greet Luna or even send her a message on her birthday because it would be very hurtful for my GF and I ended up giving her what she wanted, because at that time it was difficult for me to say "no", never actually stood for my limits and ended up distancing myself from Luna.A year ago I was at a breaking point because now the situation was not only against Luna, now it was also against other friends and family, everyone began to notice the change and as I moved away from them it began to eat me up from the inside and I decided to give ourselves some time.Started therapy and felt that I needed my friends and ventilate myself, I went to Luna to kind of apologize and told her some things about what had happened with my GF, she told me that regardless of what happened she was still my friend.Came back with my GF, with the condition she also started going to therapy, we agreed that my limits would be respected.Now Luna is getting married in a few months, they sent me a wedding invitation for one person and when I told GF about it she got really upset because she says that it's disrespectful towards her and towards me that they do not invite a SO regardless of what happened.We ended up fighting about the invitation to a wedding that she "doesn't even want to go in the first place" (quote from her) but because she wasn't invited now she wants me to ask for a +1 because if not I'm not giving her "her place" as my GF, the other option is to not go to the wedding that way she would also feel that I am giving her "her place".She told me her friends say that I'm wrong for not asking for an invitation for her because it's not about whether she wants to go or not, it's about the place that I give her as my GF and I'm confused as hell, I'm just respecting Luna's decision.AITA not asking for an extra invitation for the wedding?**TL;DR** GF never liked the relationship I have with my best friend, GF tried to distance me from her and other friends, we broke up, I told my best friend in a venting moment, came back to GF, now my best friend is getting married and she wants just me at the wedding that day, GF said that she "doesn't even want to go in the first place" but it's disrespectful towards me and towards her to not invite a SO regardless of the situation, I don't feel the same like I have to ask for an extra invitation.. AITA? | AITA not asking an extra invitation for my SO for the wedding of my best friend? | NTA |
10z3k5a | First off I wanna apologize if there’s any mistakes, english is not my first language.So I (25F) was supposed to go to my friend’s (24M) birthday weekend getaway last weekend.The week prior to this getaway I traveled to see my dad and my grandparents out of the city to the countryside and my original plan was to comeback a few days before the event, but my mom got COVID and figured it was best for me to stay at my dad’s place while she recovered, also I wasn’t in a good mental state either, so being with my dad those days helped me a lot. I suspected my friend didn’t take this news well because he only replied to my birthday message with one sentence and ignored the birthday post I made for him on instagram. A few days later, I found out through one of our mutual friend that he completely changed the story saying I made up having COVID and that he offered me a test but I refused, making me look bad in front of all of our friends and his family. I got extremely angry to the point I cried myself to sleep. It’s been a week since the incident and he still hasn’t talked to me and I want to confront him cause I want to get my side of the story, and also debunk the bullshit story he made to make me look bad. So, am I the asshole? | AITA for not attending a friend’s birthday weekend? | NTA |
10z1qbu | My (32F) nephew just turned 1 and I helped my sister (32F) and brother in law (32M) plan and host the party at their place. We have some friends in common and they were invited to attend. One of these mutual friends, Sally (32F), has not been a good friend to me through some pretty shitty things, violated boundaries, been really creepy towards me, criticized my relationship with my husband and has said some things behind my back. I asked her about some of her behaviour a few months ago and by the end of the convo things just didn't feel right. She tried to make plans and I said I was busy. To be honest, I didn't think she even wanted to be my friend based on her behaviour so I didn't think I had to end the friendship explicitly. I thought we'd kind of drift apart, as we had been.So a few months pass and my nephew's first birthday happens. I was busy with hosting duties and didn't make much of an effort to chat with Sally. Thinking back, I chatted with her as much as I chatted with anyone else at the party, except close family.The next day, she sent me a long message about how I was punishing her by ignoring her (I wasn't and had chatted with her?), how she could feel my anger, and just making a whole bunch of accusations about how she felt scapegoated for some unrelated things. After she unloaded all of that, she said she wouldn't talk to me until the summer.I thought it was weird, kinda mean, and told her I didn't appreciate her untrue accusations. I told her I think it's best we just end our friendship. She said I was purposefully misunderstanding her but she though it was best we end our friendship too. Shortly after she unfriended me on socials.Anyway, I can't believe this happened because it all seems so childish. I like to think I handled it as best as I could but I still wonder: was I the asshole? | AITA for avoiding a friend at a child's birthday party | NTA |
10z2cdl | Me and my old man fancied going down the pub after work. We’re both tradesmen and graft our asses off at our jobs, plus I hadn’t seen my dad in 2 weeks or so since I live with mates.My sister and her fiancé usually come down the pub with us as they live with my parents, and we enjoy their company don’t get me wrong. They asked if dad was going to go to the pub tonight and he said he’d see how he felt. In the meantime they went to walk their dog whilst me and dad were watching TV. He suggests going down the pub and I was down for it too so off we went. My mum asked if we went to pub on the family group chat as we weren’t home and we replied with a selfie of us with the caption “No…”. (I will add for context that this is our way of suggesting the rest of the family come out and meet us at the pub)Now usually going to the pub to us at least is kind of an open invite thing, like if we’re already there we don’t mind them rocking up and hanging out with us; it goes without saying as we’re family. Instead they go off on us saying how it was rude that we didn’t invite them out directly. Baring in mind we go down the pub most Friday’s with them, and I had gone out with them whilst my parents were away last week, so we don’t really see the issue. Plus they had shit to do too, although walking a dog isn’t a problem as the pub is dog friendly. It also doesn’t help that my sister doesn’t have many friends outside of family to go out with instead, which in all honesty I don’t have any control over.TLDR: I didn’t directly invite my sister and her fiancé to the pub and they weren’t happy despite the fact we go most weekends together as a family, AITA? | AITA for not inviting my sister and fiancé to the pub? | NTA |
10z2axe | My boyfriend has had a hard life. An abusive childhood and trials and tribulations has contributed to him having a drinking problem. Once he starts drinking he is unable to stop. Admittedly, I’ve had a much cushier life. Family that I know would do anything for me and an easy upbringing. I’ve never struggled with addiction. We have a beautiful baby daughter and I try to encourage him to stay sober because I wanted to keep our family together. I don’t think heavy drinking is good to be around for a child. I want a great childhood for her. The issue is, my boyfriend goes out and drinks (since I don’t want him to at home) he goes out all night until early mornings anywhere from 1-4 nights a month. So not every night but enough to make me uncomfortable. We share location for safety reasons. I found out after months of him lying to me that a house he was going to didn’t belong to a male friend he said it did. It was actually a woman he has been friends with for years that I never met. She is an older woman. I was livid he was seeing her behind my back. He claims it was completely platonic. She knows how it is to be an addict and have a hard life. I just don’t understand like she does. They drink together and talk about life. I felt betrayed and broke up with him. He says he couldn’t tell me because I wouldn’t understand. He says I judge and would be jealous if he was honest. I think if he can look me in the face and lie to me about where he was going, what else could he lie about? He says sorry he lied, but also acts like I’m blowing things out of proportion. That he was right about how I would act. I say, he shouldn’t go whether he told me about it or not out of respect for our relationship. Especially when it’s through the night. He told me that it doesn’t matter the gender of the person he hangs out with. He says because of how I grew up I don’t understand what’s really an issue in life. He said this is small in the scheme of things. That he has a different perspective and likes to talk to people who understands him but he loves me. We have to live together for the time being. He doesn’t have the funds to go anywhere and hardly has family. We have a daughter. I don’t know if IATA for not working through this with him. I just feel hurt beyond belief. He is a good father though and loves his daughter and I never let him drink around her. TLDR: AITA for leaving my boyfriend after he lied to me about hanging out with another woman? He has addiction issues but we have a daughter together. | AITA for being mad my [32 F] boyfriend [38 M] for hanging out with a [43 F] behind my back? | NTA |
10z39l5 | My sister in law has 2 kids a 3 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Since my sister in law works 50 hours a week, my mother in law (58f) watches the kids. I (21F) watch the toddler at their house while the girl is at school sometimes to give my mother in law a break, today was one of those days.While watching the toddler I normally do laundry and hang it up, since I don't want to leave this very accident prone child inside alone I normally just take him outside and let him run around and play. I only ever leave him inside for 2 reasons. I'm just going on the porch (grab/sign for a package, call for the dog) or he's sleeping and I need to hang up clothes. Today the USP driver came and I had to sign for a package, while outside Mr smarty pants locked the screen door on me.. I was locked outside for about 10 minutes before mother in law pulled up the driveway after picking up the girl from school. After explaining the situation she was PISSED and started going off on me "there's no reason in the world you should leave a toddler alone" "irresponsible" "immature" "I'll never let you watch him again" She yelled at me for maybe 10 minutes saying she could call the cops on me for child endangerment and child abuse. The whole time she's going off on me the 6 year old girl is terrified and starting to cry and the toddler is inside doing who knows what. I had enough and basically screamed "shut up" then started talking about all the times shes left the toddler inside alone. Including a time a month ago where she was outside getting the mail when I walked over and inside and she was outside for 30/40 more minutes when he started choking on a cookie (he had a plate of them she gave him before she went outside), I handled that then yelled for her and when she checked on him said "I didn't even know you were up here, thank God you were". I asked her how it was okay she could leave him "alone" for 40 minutes but I can't go on the porch for 5 minutes.I didn't tell other than telling her to shut up but I was very rude. I got inside and mother in law told me I'm a bitch and need to leave her home. Sister in law messaged me about 30 minutes later saying I can't babysit anymore and that I'm a bitch for screaming at her mom etc etc. So am I the asshole for putting my mother in law in her place? | AITA for putting my mother in law in her place for being a hypocrite after we got locked out of her house? | NTA |
10z4c16 | I, 37F, have been living with my boyfriend 40M, for 5 months now. He openly admits that he’s a bit grotty sometimes. He told me openly on one of our early dates that he’s ‘tidy, but dirty’ - he can’t be bothered with cleaning and sanitising, but likes things to look ‘in place’. I laughed and said we were a good match as I’m ‘clean, but untidy’. I have a brain that’s a bit scatty so leave jobs half done, like tidying clothes away, but I like things hygienically clean.Since we’ve been living together, I’ve been cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, and hoovering and dusting constantly. I go out to work, but sometimes work from home. He does most, if not all of the cooking, and works from home all week.I’ve ribbed him before about only showering once or twice a week, lightly teasing, but at other times have stressed the importance of actually being clean - like when we first moved in, I told him he should be washing hands with soap after bathroom use, even for number 1s. He was like ‘what, even then? It’s not like I’m touching any urine’ but I made my point.Fast forward to this evening, we are having a meal in at home, watching a funny show and having some beers. They’re large bottles so I have mine in a glass. He went to the bathroom for a wee, came back and we had some jokes, and then he stuck his finger in my drink ‘for a laugh’. I laughed, out of nervousness (I have a nervous laugh as I find confrontation difficult) but said that it was disgusting and did he even wash his hands after using the bathroom. He said ‘… yeah, of course, well… smell them’ - to which I did and said they didn’t smell like soap. He was like well, yeah, water. I was really upset and said I felt disgusted he would do that and ruin my drink. I ended up tipping it away, as it put me off drinking it, the idea of germs.I’ve tried twice now this evening to express that I’m disappointed he would do that, but more so that he won’t even apologise to me. His argument is that it’s not a big deal (to him, I pointed out, to me, it is) and that there’s bigger things going on in the world and I should reframe my reality and be more empathetic. I replied that it he was so empathetic then he would see I am hurt by his actions and upset, and apologise to me. He said that was twisting his words and he’s not going to apologise for something that he’s not sorry for. He also said he’s reached 40 with no issues and isn’t about to change his habits based on what I think he should be doing. I love him dearly, and I don’t want to argue with him 😔 but I also don’t want to have my feelings dismissed and set a precedent that what I feel doesn’t warrant a) a conversation or b) an apology if in his mind it’s not valid / worth his time.AITA? | AITA for asking my boyfriend to wash his hands after using the bathroom? | NTA |
10z2162 | Gonna try to keep it simple, my dad's side of the family are not close. He wasn't there much when i(37M) was a kid and none of them really reached out to me when i was growing up. I spent several months in foster care because my mom left me with my maternal grandmother, who ended up becoming to sick to care for me for a while. None of his family "had room for me". This is despite my grandmothers knowing wach other for years prior to my birth. As an adult, my dad and i kinda mended things a bit and have some kind of relationship, not exactly "father and son" but we at least acknowledge we're related. As for the rest of the family, I'm "Bob's son" most don't recall my name and I've had to reintroduce myself more times than i can count. I've run into some of them out in public and even though i know who they are by name, they always look at me like " i know you somehow ".My dad has a daughter(45F) from his marriage b4 he met my mother( both were married to other ppl when i was made). My sister and i got along really well until last week when she informed me that our uncle's wife died. I never knew he was married. Haven't even seen him in 20 yrs. She plans on coming back to the state for the funeral and asked if i was going. I told her no. I don't know the woman and barely know the family. I told her I would meet her either b4 or after it... or she could crash at my house instead of a hotel. She called me stubborn and said that it was a chance to mend the bad blood in the family. I told her that i was not going, they made their choices and I've lived my life fine without them. I'm not responsible for ther circumstances of my birth and if they treat me like the black sheep because of it, I don't need to be around them. So now we're currently not talking to each other after she hung up on me. | AITA for not attending my aunt's funeral? | NTA |
10z1es8 | My husband (39M) and I (36F) have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids (9, 7, & 5). As you can imagine, with 3 kids it can be incredibly hard for my husband and I to get away and have extended personal time. I like to think we do a good job of giving each other small amounts of alone time when it's needed, but sometimes you need to get away from everything for a few days to really clear your head and hit the reset button. Now that all 3 of our kids are in school, it makes it a bit easier to get away. We have discussions and plan these things in advance so that we know schedules and can move things around if we need to. About a month ago, I went on a girls' trip with my friends for a long weekend. Before I left, my husband started planning his own trip with some of his friends, but that isn't happening until late March. When I was gone for the long weekend, my husband really struggled with the kids. Our older 2 kept fighting and our 5-year-old got a stomach bug. To his credit, he handled everything and didn't make me feel guilty at all about taking time for myself. When I got back, I was rejuvenated very thankful for the time away. Last week, I got a call from my sister. She was supposed to go to Nashville with one of her friends for a few days, but her friend had to cancel due to a family emergency. The AirBnB they rented was already paid for and it was past the timeline for getting any money back. So asked if I wanted to go with her since her friend couldn't. I brought it up to my husband and he pretty much immediately got upset. He said I should wait until he goes on his trip before I take any more extended trips myself. I told him this was a spur the moment type thing and since I have never been to Nashville but always wanted to go, this was a chance to do that and to spend some quality time with my sister. I told him he can plan another trip for after his one in March if he wants, but that didn't change his mind. He's especially upset because the trip with my sister would be 5 days, which means more of the weekday stuff would fall on him and he couldn't just plan a long weekend with the kids. He also brought up how it wouldn't be "fair" of me to take so much time away again when he hasn't had a break like that yet. I told him he can take some smaller amounts of time to himself in the meantime to make up for it, but he said that's not the same as being gone for 3-5 days like I have. I need to give my sister an answer ASAP in case she needs to find someone else to go with. I really want to go with her and I feel like my husband is blowing this out of proportion just because I already had a trip away. He has his time away planned, he just has to wait a bit. | WIBTA For taking another trip before my husband has a chance to take some time away | YWBTA |
10z4wgf | So yesterday my boyfriend (39M) nags me for 5 hours while I’m (34F) working about how we need to make the punishments for our kids fair. His daughter throws massive fits about not going to school and ends up late. My son stole a Lego sword from her and tried to trade it with his friend. Both kids are in the wrong yes. Either way, we don’t settle the argument because I’m working all day and then immediately on mom duty afterwards. Note: he barely works but still has to maintain paying the bills in the house while I cover the mortgage and he is also working on finishing the remodel on the house.Well last night I’m laying in bed and he gets up at about 10:30 wanting to go grab beer from the store. He looked at some old family photos and I guess he was having some sort of emotional response to it. Well 12:30 comes around and something outside wakes me so I go out and he is in the camper high on I guess mushrooms smoking pot. I’m also pregnant.Well I get mad because he has a history of drug abuse and it’s Thursday night, his kid in inside, my kid is inside, and it seems like a very selfish time to get high. Well, my son ends up waking up shortly after with the stomach bug throwing up all night. It wakes his daughter up who is sad because her dad is not around and she’s worried. Now I’m pissed and he says it’s not fair that I’m upset and that I’m being controlling. AITA? | AITA: Boyfriend does mushrooms late at night while I’m pregnant taking care of the kids | NTA |
10z3f21 | Hi People! I need some opinions on this. I don’t think I’m in the wrong, but no one I’m this thread ever does right 😂So my (31F) sister (37) has a car she loves more than people (not kidding). Every other month she gets it detailed inside and out. This is a mobile service and the guy just requires a driveway and power. This is where I come into play. My sisters house doesn’t have a driveway and is also far out of town so she has asked if it’s okay for her car to be detailed in my driveway. She gave plenty of notice so we could give the guy access and move our cars and such. Not a problem. Now we get to yesterday afternoon. She messages me and is like ‘oh btw need your driveway tomorrow morning to get my car detailed’. No asking, no apology for the late notice. She proceeded to tell me he would start the service at about 8:15am. I said that won’t work, my car isn’t leaving the driveway until 8:30 until I have to leave for work. She got upset I wouldn’t move my car early and I said that if she had given me more notice that would have been fine but there isn’t much space to move the car and I honestly also don’t see the point for 15 minutes. She then texted ‘Thanks for nothing.’I still don’t think I did anything wrong? I’m mad at the late notice and lack of respect (like not apologising or ever saying please or thanks). I told her fine, have the guy come but I won’t leave until 8:30 and the driveway better be empty when I come back at 2pm. Haven’t spoken to her since and I’m still pretty mad. So am I the asshole? | AITA for being annoyed at my sister for not giving me notice of her plans? | ESH |
10z3cqp | I (17M) and my friend (18M) have been friends for over 2 years now. Recently, my friend has been complaining to me and our other friend about his social anxiety, shyness, and being anti-social. Whenever he messages us feeling anxious, we try to comfort him or try to take his mind off of it.A few hours ago, he said, "I can't talk to strangers, I have social anxiety, I'm shy and anti-social." He says he has meds for his social anxiety but never takes them.I replied with, "Wouldn't complaining about having social anxiety in situations and not taking your meds, especially if those meds are there to help with social anxiety, be kinda counterintuitive?" I didn't get a reply, so I followed up with, "If you want to see improvement with your social anxiety, which could be factors of being shy and being anti-social, then I would recommend actually taking your meds. Letting things grow over time only makes them worse."He ignores the first message and replied with "no," for the second message. When I asked why he doesn't take his meds, he replied with "Why you wanna know?" I explained, "Because it's counter-intuitive to talk about something and deny any help."He started joking about it saying "No thanks, I choose my own destiny." And now he’s acting as if this conversation never happened.I feel like I'm trying to help, but I don't want to come off as an asshole. AITA for bringing it up?For further clarification:1. His medication. as someone who takes medication for OCD and social anxiety i understand the viewpoints for that but when I said he doesn't take his meds it's not that he's worried about it or anything else, he just doesn't want to. He likes the attention, so he vents, wanting help but doesn't take the advice. The meds are there as a 2nd resort, when you see a psychiatrist, they ask if you think meds could be an option and by any means I'm not saying it's a cure.2. The worry of how I approached it. I defiantly could have approached it better, but he is the type of person that if you simply light hearten it, it won't work but as you can see it won't work regardless.3. The suggestions of "if i don't like the complaining just stop being his friend" i have stopped being his friend (due to toxicity, making my mental health worse and a range of being a bad friend) but that ended a few weeks ago because I believed in second chances but as you can tell from this post, I'm starting to second doubt the friendship because he hasn't changed.4. The people saying, he probably just wanted to vent or complain but not want feedback. Typically, when someone vents, they are looking for advice. At least whenever he vents and complains, he wants advice.Thank you for those who read this post | AITA my friend complains about having social anxiety but never takes his meds, AITA for bringing it up? | NTA |
10z4kof | About 10 years ago my(35f) parents(66/67) were experiencing housing instability, so with the help of my husband(40m) we bought them a house. The conditions were they would pay rent in the amount of the mortgage. I bought at a really good time and the payments were significantly lower than rent prices. They kept up on rent payments for the most part but occasionally needed financial help in one form or another. Fast forward a few years and just about every member of my family has lived in this house at one point or another because of different life situations. What started out as a blessing for my parents became a blessing for all my siblings too.My parents got divorced about 3 years ago and when Dad moved out, Mom found the house more and more difficult to upkeep. This resulted in her moving in with me for a year. In that time I started the process of my own divorce. We moved as a unit with my 4 kids from the apartment I shared with my soon-to-be-ex into the over 100 year old “hard to upkeep” house. He gets the timeshare and I get to keep the house. At this point I feel I should explain my mom and I never really got along for extended periods of time. Moving out as a young adult was the best thing to happen to our relationship. We both acknowledge living together for the past 1.5 years has been challenging and we’re better off not being roommates.Now comes the tricky bit. She knows I’ve been looking at houses to buy but thinks refinancing the current house would give me enough capital to start over. In this economy it’s just not realistic. Since I bought so long ago and my neighborhood has improved over the years, I have quite a bit of equity built up in my home. I’ve spoken to her about selling and having enough equity for both of us to start over somewhere nicer (newer). She seems to think staying in the house is best for her regardless of the difficulty she had in keeping it up.So my question is WIBTA if I sold this “communal” family home against my mother’s wishes so we can all have a better quality of life? | WIBTA if I sold the home my mom and I both live in? | NTA |
10z1oz7 | I'm selling a phone on Facebook marketplace and many people messaged me. One person offered a deposit, so I gladly accepted it. They have since changed their mind and want their money back. They wasted my time from finding a legit buyer, so I feel like keeping the deposit is fair compensation. | AITA for keeping the deposit? | NTA |
10z53bn | My (28) girlfriend (26) is on a long weekend girls trip in a popular night-time town. Last night was the first night she was there, so I was expecting some crazy story when I woke up this morning.I woke up this morning with a text from her at 6AM saying “Just getting into bed! What a crazy night…..”, which had me looking forward to her waking up so I could hear all about it. Instead, she woke up to tell me about how her and her friends were at a younger male celebrities (with his friends) house until 5AM, and he was in fact trying to hook up with at least one of them. I’m very confident my girlfriend didn’t even notion that she was interested in getting with any of them, so this isn’t a trust thing. At the very most, it made me feel uncomfortable, which I told her. She interpreted it as me being angry, and she started repetitively saying “Sorry” and mentioning how “she doesn’t want to feel like I don’t trust her.” I had barely said much other than explaining to her how/ why it made me feel uncomfortable. A few messages later she sent something like “Ok well I’m good if you are.” She’s on vacation, and I don’t want ruin her trip or make a scene, so I just said yeah sure, to which she didn’t even reply and completely changed the topic. Now, I feel crazy. I feel invalid and stupid for even bringing it up. I don’t know what to do. Should I wait until she returns and try to talk to her about how we communicate? In general, I don’t feel like we have open lanes to talk about deeper feelings and it seems to always inspire an argument when we do.Anyways, AITA for feeling uncomfortable about this whole thing? | AITA for being uncomfortable about my girlfriend being at a celebrities house | YTA |
10z1wp7 | I think this entire situation was mostly miscommunication, but I wanted to ask someone impartial.This Sunday, My older sibling -who had been staying the weekend with their partner- called me around 11 pm to ask about my mom’s whereabouts, since she didn’t pick up. My Ma recently joined a hiking group, and a few hours before I had picked her up from her most recent trip (and her battery was dead).I explained my sibling the situation, and ended the call.Then comes the tricky part. I had gone out to dinner with some friends, and my Ma had warned me to call the house in case of emergencies; so before turning my phone off for the night I sent a voice note to my sibling with the words:“In case of emergencies call the house.”The morning after I wake up with texts from my sibling saying the next:•”[…] relax a shitton”•”the only thing I did was call you about mom since I didn’t know what happened to her”•”take notice of what you say”I was furious and hurt.My mom told me that I shouldn’t take those words with a mean tone, since they were text words; and that there is a chance that my sibling took my words as “don’t bother me, next time call home”I took a pause at that and texted back the meaning behind my words and asked if what my Ma guessed was true. I was left on seen. | AITA for telling my sibling to “call home in case of emergencies”?? | NAH |
10z4grj | My wife and I have been together over 8 years, been married for less than 1 year.In 2018 she confessed to cheating on me with a coworker, expressed her feelings on how she felt and why she had to confess, and moved to another job within the same month of telling me.This has affected our relationship, mainly me. I knew accepting her apology was going to be difficult, but I wasn’t ready to move on, and understood people make mistakes. Boundaries were set on what makes me comfortable and doesn’t for what happened, and she was super understanding. Her next few jobs had no coworkers besides a few other girls on her social media.I rarely post, not the biggest fan of social media, she is. She showed me a notification a few weeks back of some celebrity that replied to her comment, and noticed a few different men requested to follow, to which she accepted.I ask, she tells me they are coworkers. I ask her about what we’ve talked about before, and if what I asked of her has expired? Or was not having guys from work on social media too much to ask?She says she feels controlled by me, to where it leads to an argument resulting in me just telling her I don’t care anymore.She argues “obviously you do” to where I just tell her what does it matter, she does it anyway.This was a week ago, and I can’t stop thinking about it.If she asked me to not follow coworkers because she may be insecure, I absolutely would care enough to make her feel comfortable and not do it.Am I wrong for thinking she should do the same? Am I being controlling?Thanks. | AITA for telling my wife who cheated once to not have male coworkers on her social media? | NTA |
10z4j9h | I own a business (95%) with my business partner (5%). We are opening a second location, and he has taken lead on painting/frontage. We’ve both been putting in a lot of work to open it, but I trust him very much and he pitched an idea for how the second location should look (outwardly) and I said it sounds great, go for it. He’s been working with a graffiti artist to paint it and get it looking nice. It opened yesterday, and the frontage still doesn’t have our business name on it, anything indicating we are open, and the paint job in general isn’t finished. On Wednesday, the day before yesterday, I was there with the artist. She said “I really want to get the sign up tonight” to which I responded “Yeah you really should. I don’t want to open tomorrow without something with at least our name on it.” She didn’t paint the sign that night or the next day so today I called her today and said “Hey I really need that sign up today, please get it done” and she agreed. Apparently she had plans with my business partner to do some more art and she torpedoed those in order to get the sign done. My business partner called me up and is relatively pissed that I didn’t tell him I told her to make the sign, but she never made it seem like it would conflict with anything else she had scheduled.Obviously a classic miscommunication scenario, but my business partner feels like I “went around” him when in my opinion I just said “yeah sounds good” to something the artist proposed and then a day or two later I pushed her on it and she blew him off without telling him. AITA? | AITA for “going around” my business partner? | YTA |
10z4902 | I currently have 2 job offers. Job 1 is a fairly decent job with a fairly decent salary in line with current market rates, but they want me to start late spring/early summer. The other (Job 2) isn’t as good - they’re offering less than market rate for the position and are unwilling to budge at all despite me showing them data that their rate is significantly below market averages. However, if I were to accept, they’ll let me start right away.Both jobs pay considerably more than my current job. So, in terms of pay, my current job pays the least, Job 2 pays considerably more, and job 1 pays slightly more than job 2.Would I be the asshole if I quit my current job, accept job 2 with the intention to only work there for 3 or 4 months (due to the much higher pay), then quit that job to go work at Job 1 for even more pay? I see companies taking advantage/exploiting employees all the time for purely business reasons (all the recent mass layoffs despite record profits are a good example) and I was wondering if I could do the same as well? Of course I were to do this, I would never list Job 2 on my resume ever when applying to future jobs since I would’ve worked there for only a few months.Thoughts? WIBTA? | WIBTA for accepting a job that I know I will quit in 3 months? | NTA |
10z44qf | For context, my partner and I live an hour apart so we don’t get to see each other often. Today I asked my partner to do something special for me for Valentines. I said I don’t want anything specific I just want him to do something nice for me and he suggested a picnic. Thing is, I have a concert the night of Valentines day and asked him if we can do the picnic another day, maybe even the day before or after. He said no because he has school and was only going to skip school if we went on Valentines Day. I then suggested we can hangout before the show since he seemed so adamant about having our plans the day of. He told me that I would rather go to a show than spend Valentines Day with him and was upset because I recently brought up about how we don’t get to spend much time together since he’s so busy with school and work. | AITA for asking my partner to adjust our Valentines day plans? | YTA |
10z1n60 | So my friend and I were at a tennis court at a small park playing when he stops and tells me he has to go for a whizz. I'm used to this since he has a small bladder and in the past at other courts that were not in the middle of a park he would just go in the bushes to the side which wasn't a big deal. However at this location there were 25-30 little elementary students around 100-150 ft away from the court in the playground running around with one adult chaperone. Instead of going to the porta potty around 30 ft away from the court, he feels that it's too much work to walk all the way around the court fences and decides to turn around and just prepares to start peeing into the little shrubs along the fence. As soon as I see this I stop him and ask him WTF. Now these shrubs are fairly tall, but they are thin and have gaps in between and honestly look more like bushy trees. While it wouldn't be easy to spot, it's certainly a possibility that one of the kids or the adult could see an obscured man and a stream of urine splashing into the shrubs. I tell him why the hell would he take such a dumb unnecessary risk and that he could've easily gotten us into trouble such as being fined or even arrested if the kids told their chaperone what they saw. He retorts that it's not a big deal at all and that the chance of anything happening is miniscule and I completely overreacted by getting so worked up over it.So did I overreact regarding the risk of this situation and AITA? | AITA for getting angry at my friend for trying to take a piss in public | NTA |
10z3xe6 | So I’ve made friends with the new kid recently and she’s really kind. Her English isn’t really good since she recently only moved to the UK but she’s one of the funniest people I know. I’ve also recently joined a new friendgroup willingly after they’d asked me to since I didnt have a set group of people to hang with due to my past. My new friend asked to join our group too and we said yeah of course! We help her with her English, she tells us things about her life, it’s really nice to finally feel included and liked in a group for once too, for me. Her name begins with A so that’s what i’ll refer to her as.Another girl, however, started hanging with us too without even asking if we were okay with it. This girl has a past of being manipulative, spreading untrue rumours, starting drama, and a lot of other things. I lashed out on her today and now her friend is hassling me so I wanted to know if I was in the wrong. Her name starts with K so that’s what i’ll refer to her as if needed. So this girl has been constantly harassing my new friend. She’s been making fun of her accent, mocking her, talking over her, telling people to avoid her and how she’s “such a bad person”, and a lot of other things. You see, ‘A’ struggles to see the bad in people and therefore things ‘K’ is just joking when in reality it seems like borderline harassment, maybe even bullying. It’s very noticeable though too, I’ve just been through a lot of drama with an old friend so I couldn’t be bothered with her intruding our group for no reason and just to harass the new girl.Anyways, today at lunch two of my friends stayed behind to talk to a teacher about how uncomfortable ‘K’ makes them and how they feel bad for ‘A’ because of the constant harassment and such. ‘K’ came to sit with the rest of us and started harassing my new friend after s few minutes had passed. ‘A’ has a tendency of getting lost since she’s still new to our school and basically our country. ‘K’ began ridiculing her and embarassing her when she wasn’t there since ‘A’ had either gotten lost or was washing her hands. (I was going to look for her but we have to stay in a certain area at lunchtime). When everyone was back, ‘K’ kept daring ‘A’ got dk the most wild things or to flirt with boys that she’d known would get annoyed, just to embarrass and control her.I pulled her to the side at the end of lunchtime and told her to stop bullying ‘A’. I also said a few things I regret but she really annoyed me how exploitive she was being and using the new kid as a way to get boys to like her. I also told ‘K’ that nobody likes her and that she makes our whole friendship group uncomfortable. We got split up by a teacher and she stormed off and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. Her friend messaged me telling me that we kicked her out the group for no reason and how we’re all bad people etc etc. ‘A’ however thanked me and finally realised how much of a bad person ‘K’ is. So, AITA or did I do the right thing??Edit: sorry for all the spelling mistakes and such, I’m on mobile and typing quite fast! | AITA for lashing out on a girl in my school | NTA |
10z3hfr | Me(30F) and my husband(30M) live on one continent and the rest of our main group of friends live on another continent:\- Jane(30F) and Tom(32M) in country A\- Amy(28F) and Jack(31M) in country B ​Me and my husband went to visit them. We agreed that we would go to Country A first, meet with Jane and Tom and the four of us would travel to country B and stay from Thursday night to Sunday afternoon in Amy and Jack's house.​We got to Country A on Wednesday night and had the greatest time with Jane and Tom. On Thursday all four of us got on a plane and went to Country B. When we got to Amy's house she started fighting with Jack about minor things, like him getting the wrong vegetable from the supermarket. After a while, she calmed down and we had dinner and went to sleep.​On Friday, Amy went to work, Jack showed us around we and met Amy later at their house and they started fighting again for stupid reasons. After dinner, Amy had some wine and calmed down, and we all played board games for a while.​On Saturday all six of us took a train to another city and on the train ride Amy mentioned that another couple of friends would join us the next day. I told Amy I didn't want another couple of friends to join us, since they were their (Amy and Jack's) friends and not ours, and we'd have to waste precious time getting to know them/talking to them. I also mentioned me and my husband spent a lot of hours getting to the continent and we did this because we wanted to be with our friends, not meet new people, and my social battery was not the biggest so talking to people outside our group would make me tired. ​After I said that Amy freaked out and said that what I said made no sense since they would only spend a few hours with us (among other things). She also said that us six were already spending the whole Saturday together. After that Amy started giving me and Jane the silent treatment and would only speak to be sarcastic or rude. This lasted the whole day, so after we got to Amy's home I tried to work things out with her.​I acknowledged that what I said might have made her feel frustrated and I apologized. She said she was just trying to do something nice for everyone and called me immature. After this Jane joined us and asked Amy why she was being rude to her too (since Jane hadn't even said anything). Amy said she was not being rude and this was just the way she was. Then we asked if we should go to a hotel and she said that she just wanted us to leave her alone for the night and pretend this never happened the next day.​The next day the other couple joined us and we spent the day together. We did our best to pretend nothing happened and Amy seemed normal, but she became distant as soon as they left. After that me, my hubby, Jane, and Tom flew back to country A.​This happened a few days ago and Amy hasn't talked to me since or acknowledged any messages in our group chat. | AITA for telling a friend I didn't want to spend time with her friends? | NTA |
10z534d | Am I the asshole when I didn’t give my sister $200 to borrow? For context I’m an high schooler and I don’t have a lot of money, but I have enough to give $200. She asked to borrow $200 and I asked her what she needed it for and she didn’t respond well saying “did I need a contract.” She said I was horrible and didn’t want to be sisters anymore and she forced me to delete my number from her phone. She brought up that she paid for an apple mac for me and I said I could give it back. I didn’t even want the mac to begin with. She said brought up how mad she was and that we were strangers now. I would have given the money if at least know what’s it for. I would tell someone that if I asked for that much money. I told it was a lot of money to borrow and said it was so little money. Also the reason I’m so hesitant is because of past history with her and money. She had two or more times took money from me without permission and I would bring it up to her and she would say I was hurtful and punished me. She later said she would pay it back to me and she did but hesitantly and didn’t give me the full amount. So I’m just untrustful in things that come out of her mouth. But in general am I the asshole? | AITA for not giving $200 to my sister even though she said she would give it back later? | NTA |
10z52cf | I 25f have a 14 month old daughter. My husband and I work during the day so she goes to daycare. She has two teachers through out the day. One comes in early and leaves at 4, the other is there from 4-630(pick up)My daughter recently got a new 4-6 teacher. She’s rather young, pretty sure she’s a teenager. My daughter has specific diapers because she is allergic to the rest. She becomes inflamed and develops rashes and it’s just very uncomfortable for her. I always make sure she has some stocked there. Two days ago after I brought her home I noticed my daughter was in different diapers, with a rash already starting. The net day I went to the daycare and complained the teacher apologized. I gave her the ointment my daughter needed, and left.It happened again, and it didn’t look like my daughter was given any ointment. She’s in the same wrong diapers. Her rash is worse. Today I went to the school furious. I yelled at the daycare worker and said she needed to learn how to do her job and now my daughters rash is worse because of her. She got really upset and asked me not to yell and said it was an accident and she didn’t know where the rest of my daughters diapers were put up, the morning teacher has them put up. I told her that’s when you ask, it’s not fair my daughter is irritated and uncomfortable because she won’t ask. She kept apologizing and even started to tear up.My husband says I overreacted and we should just look into new daycares because they shouldn’t have hired someone so young to be a teacher. He says tomorrow I should buy her a gift card or a candy bar or something and go in and apologize. Now that I think about it I do feel badly about yelling at a young girl. | AITA for yelling at a daycare worker? | YTA |
10z4xux | I live in an area where there is a daycare a few blocks away. Every morning myself and others have to pass by the backstreet of this daycare to go to work. Here is the kicker, all of the moms and dads are using the backstreet to park their cars and taking their kids to daycare (because it’s faster and more convenient) instead of going the “long way” and going inside the daycare complex to safely drop their kids off. This is incredibly dangerous, the street is only a one way coming in and out and not only does it create a traffic jam it’s also incredibly unsafe. Every single time I have to do pass by in the morning I am getting dirty looks from these parents for not stopping for their little kids. I am afraid that these little kids are going to one day run in the road and get run over! So, WIBTA and a Karen if I call the daycare to express my grievances or should I just suck it up and continue my merry way? | WIBTA for snitching on the moms at daycare? | NTA |
10z4wup | AITA for calling out my mom? She and I had a massive argument about a few things. My mother (61f) and I (32m) have been butting heads for years.She is racist towards most races aside from hers and HATES my race. My father was (rip dad) Indian. And Sri Lankan. I remember asking my mom when I was a kid what race he was cause he didn't look like any of the other dads on the street we lived on. She shrugged and sneered, "I don't know, dark white?"I was also diagnosed bipolar type 1, and take medication to control it, and it's under control very well. Now on to what made me so upset. My fathers history has always been a mystery, 2 men could've been his father, both had passed away though. So a couple years ago, I decided to take a DNA test (through 23&me) and find out who his father was based off my relatives and their last name. and found out my dad was Indian (which makes so much sense) and her side was 100% European. She said her side had indigenous American that runs heavily on her side. NOPE. NOT EVEN A DROP.When she found out I was Indian on dad's side she spent months randomly bringing up how "disgusting" Indian people are." I was so frustrated and said "you mated with one!" She snarled "I only f'kd his American side." So I rolled my eyes so hard. She said because I recently found out that I'm asian and white, I don't have the right to call myself an Asian American. Even though I legitimately am. And have been exploring that side of Me through research and history, and it's all so interesting! My first cousin is a bollywood actress, and she's nearly identical to my sister. And she's so nice, also has been researching our lineage and shares information about our family with me. When I told her she had ZERO indigenous American on her side she freaked out on me and said I was just saying that to upset her. DAILY she tells me how much she HATES people with bipolar, knowing damn well, I have bipolar. She tells me how horrible bipolar people are. I called her out on her being racist, rude, hateful, and pitiful. And I told her she was just mad that she didn't have indigenous American in her DNA because she used that to make herself seem more interesting (and told everyone she was from a certain tribe her whole life.)Suddenly she started guilting me for upsetting her in her senior years and should have just let her be because she's "set in her ways" and trying to change her is basically saying I don't love her the way she is. Tl:DrMy mother is racist against my fathers/my race, and tells me about it constantly, and daily reminds me that she hates people with bipolar and I have bipolar and she knows this. But when I called her out for her being racist and rude, she said I don't love her the way she is because i told her I won't tolerate her comments anymore.AITA for shattering her dreams of being indigenous and calling her racist? And AITA for telling her she needs to change or I won't be in her life? | AITA FOR CALLING OUT MY MOTHER FOR HER MESSED UP COMMENTS AND WAYS OF THINKING? | NTA |
10z4kf0 | For background: I’m renting a mobile home that was manufactured in the late 70’s and has had almost no updates done. most everything is original and honestly ran down looking. But with rent being so high where we live it’s all we could afford and still pay 1300 + utilities each month. The cabinets in the kitchen are original to the home and are made of pressboard with a printed wood grain on them. (Honestly they need to be replaced) The previous tenants sprayed something on them which took off the finish in spots that look like some odd water spots and streaks….. they looked dirty no mater how many times I washed them! So I messaged my landlord and asked if I could paint (didn’t specifically say the cabinets) they agreed as long as I keep it neutral colors, so it would be easily rented out again. Well I painted the lower cabinets a light gray and the uppers white. Honestly the cabinets that once looked dated dirty and gross now look brand new and almost modern!!!! I honestly don’t feel as though my landlord could possibly be upset cus if I were to move out tomorrow now it could easily be rented out for 1500 per month with just painting them…. However I feel like a bit of an asshole for being intentionally misleading I’m sure they never thought in 100 years I was talking bout painting the cabinet… | AITA for misleading my landlord | YTA |
10z4dcf | So I, 17F, recently made the decision to switch to a meat restricted type diet for ethical reasons. The thought came to me while being hungover and unable to stomach bacon. IMO meat doesn't taste good. It's the seasonings, sauce, fat, and oil that makes it taste good. And then, after watching the Dominion documentary on YouTube and crying myself to sleep I decided I was mostly done with exceptions. The sole reason of me switching but allowing myself fish, eggs, and game is because I do not want to contribute to an abusive and corrupted meat farming industry. My stepdad hunts game and enjoys fishing, so I will eat that because I know those animals have had long and healthy lives in nature, free, and die quickly. My mom buys free range eggs from her friends farm, they are truly free range, and I would eat her chicken because I've seen how they butcher them, but we didn't get any chickens this year. They are not suffering constant abuse and painful deaths in overcrowded animal farming warehouses, tolerating abuse from workers, often unsuccessful butchering techniques, etc. Overall though, I really hate the idea of needing to kill other beings in order to sustain our own lives.I got home yesterday from work, started talking to my mom, asked her what was for dinner, she told me chicken and alfredo. I shot her a look. My sister laughed in my face but I ignored it. I looked in the kitchen, it was separated, fine. I went upstairs to clean my room, came down for dinner, a chicken thigh was sitting on my plate. I took it and dropped it right back with the full rotisserie chicken sitting in the middle of the table and said, "I'm not eating this."My mom clapped back with, "yes. You are." She put it back on my plate and I put it right back, put a serving of pasta on my plate and sat down. She said fine, and took the entire pot of pasta off the table and told me I wasn't eating anything else for the rest of the night.I never eat breakfast or pack lunch to work so the first time I'm eating is often dinner, and then I'll snack on like fruit, cashews, almonds or pistachios in the evening and then have a cup of tea before bed. She started arguing with me about how I'm just going to end up binge eating and me restricting meat is more harmful and less sustainable to the environment and I should just suck it up, and I don't understand how expensive produce is so I can't be eating it all to make up for not having meat.. (before this she was throwing out fruits and veggies bc me and my sister weren't eating them fast enough). She also said she would not support an unhealthy lifestyle with me filling up with just carbs, (when that's the only option I had for last night) so I quickly finished my pasta and went up to my room for the rest of the night.Later my sister came up and told me my mom was crying over it, so now I'm asking myself, AITA? | AITA for refusing to eat the dinner my mom cooked last night after telling her I'm switching to a different diet? | NTA |
10z48ww | I am a freshman in college, and I live in a triple room with two other guys we’ll call Joe and Sam. They’re both freshmen; only a bus ride away from their homes; able-bodied/minded; from decently affluent families. Me, on the other hand, am across the country from everyone I know (PA->WA); disabled physically (MS); autistic also w/ terrible PTSD and anxiety; from a somewhat middle-class family. Also two specific things I warned them of b4 moving in: I will be in a LDR and away from friends and family so I’ll be making calls occasionally in the room, and I play DND every Sunday at what will now be 11am. They both agreed.For the most part Joe has been fine, but Sam on the other hand is stubborn and impossible to compromise with. A brief list of some of the rules he’s made:\-not a single phone call can be made in the room unless it’ll be 5 minutes or less (later he changed this to “like 2 minutes or less”).\-I cant make breakfast until 11am because he doesn’t want woken up by the beeps our instant pot makes when you turn it on.\-if anyone is asleep, no sound should be made in the room at all\-I can’t play DND in the room anymore, ever.Once he made me hang up a phone call that I was on before he got in the room because I was too sick w/ the flu to leave. Another time he \*yelled\* at me to leave the room cuz I woke him up at 12pm playing DND even tho he had been warned abt it.I’ve tried to compromise several times, he will not. His ‘compromise’ for his phone call rule was to go check every lounge on our floor and if one of them isn’t empty you’re allowed to come back to the room to take the call. He’ll often play the depression card but if I play the anxiety, autism, MS, etc. card he does not care. He constantly breaks his own rules, leaves the bathroom sink a mess of soap and water, is loud as fuck in the morning, turns on lights while we’re sleeping that have woken me up before, etc. Not to mention, if you can get him to compromise, he’s just a child about it when you do the compromised-on thing (stomping around the room, purposely sighing loudly, etc.). Once I said “I think there’s a certain time of day where it becomes unreasonable to expect people to be quiet because you want to sleep in” and he just said “no, if anyone is sleeping it’s inconsiderate to be doing stuff in the room that might wake them up”.Every time I try and voice my concerns they feel ignored, and if it’s due to like certain issues I have due to my autism or physical disability he almost never seems to care or acts so passive aggressive about it I’m too afraid to ask. Every week there’s some new issue and he can’t compromise or do anything so I’ve asked my RA for a room switch where I will be taking all the furniture I paid for (fridge, instant pot, shelves, etc.) because he’s rich enough to afford new ones and I am not. AITA?EDIT: Joe is also moving out and taking the printer and TV with him for context on what will be left in the room afterward. | AITA for asking my RA to switch rooms? | NTA |
10z418h | my(24F) fiancée(24F) has really only seen the planning process of one wedding, that being her older sister's, almost a decade ago. She was a bridesmaid in that wedding, and from what she tells me, everything about that day was perfect.Now, l'Il admit, I’m not particular about anything when it comes to wedding stuff, because I originally wanted to elope and then a nice dinner with friends. I have homophobic family, so I didn’t ever picture having a ceremony. When we got engaged, my fiancee made it clear that she wanted a formal ceremony that her family would attend. We agreed on us both being equally involved with the wedding planning, as to keep ether of us from feeling steamrolled or overwhelmed by he responsibilities. My fiancée INSISTED that we plan it ourselves, and then hire a coordinator to confirm everything week-of. So we made a moodboard, got wedding magazines and a wedding planning book, weddingwire, the whole shebang. The more we talked about it, the more she pushed everything her sister had at her wedding."Oh we should pick x bridal place, that's where my sister got her bouquet” “We should have these colors, they looked really nice at my sisters wedding” “We should get our dresses from x, thats where my sister got hers” I don't doubt that these vendors would work out. It's not that I don't trust SIL. I just feel extremely uncomfortable/superstitious about redo a wedding that didn’t work out.Might be TA because, when trying to see it from my fiancée's perspective, I went from "I dont care what we wear or do I just wanna marry you" to suddenly having opinions on every aspect of the wedding. I just feel weird about potentially redoing her sister's wedding, and because SIL will also be MOH, I don't want to potentially traumatize her by making her walk down the same aisle that trapped her in hell for a while. I really don't want to be a bridezilla, but I want our wedding to be Ours, and not SIL's. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to redo my SIL’s wedding? | NTA |
10z3rpm | I'm 18, but still in high school. Overall I think my parents are okay, I'm kind of a problem child and there's some major issues and resentments but I know they do their best given that my mom was raised under even stricter conditions. Since I might show this to my parents, I'll try my best to show my mom's point of view, but my point of view will be biased.**My mom's point of view:**\- I owe them for their time and financial sacrifice (they have always splurged on summer math camps, tutors, high school classes, and college tuition. What she wants me to pay back right now is the close to 1000 dollars my dad sent me for high school classes)\- If I have the time and money to spend on "useless junk", I can afford to pay them back. She's really pushing for me to pay her back since yesterday she saw I bought more clothes.\- It teaches me how to budget, she thinks I have expensive tastes (she thinks I don't understand how hard money is to earn, and at restaurants she always orders for me so I don't choose the most expensive thing on the menu). She's afraid I'll waste all my savings on material objects when I'm in college**My point of view:**\- I only make around 200 dollars, her asking for 100, or even 50 dollars a month isn't teaching me how to budget, it's just theft\- I don't spend as much money on outings with friends as they think, since she only allows me to go out once a month if I'm lucky\- My mom wants me to save for textbooks and other necessities not covered in the general college bill, which I am doing, I usually make sure there's at least 300-500 left in my account (which I know is not enough, but once I'm out of high school I'll be able to find a better part time job)\- Despite being pretty well-off (with an expensive house), literally *none* of my clothes were bought (they're almost all hand-me-downs from a family friend), I don't like any of my clothes and my mom refuses to let me have a say in my own style/wardrobe, so I thought that she'd at least be ok with me buying clothes with my own money, but I guess not. She makes me feel guilty anytime I wear the clothes I buy, so I just store them in my closet waiting for college.\- I've always planned on paying them back for college tuition, and their hard work is the entire reason I earned a scholarship in the first place. So I offered to add these \~1000 dollars to the amount I owe them *after* I graduate college. | AITA for not wanting to pay back the money my parents let me "borrow"? | NTA |
10z3euy | My father had custody of me for about three years in high-school since my mom gave hers up for some complicated reasons I don't want to get into. Apart from that I have rarely heard from him. Since I moved out for college he's mostly been NC with me, hasn't helped me out at all. Last year when I graduated with my bachelor's I asked if we could do something other than me walking (mostly because I didn't have the money to). He said okay and then said he couldn't afford to do anything for several weeks after my graduation date. When he could finally afford it he canceled on me to drink and play DnD with his friends. Finally we rescheduled for eating at a place my brother wanted to go to, we only saw each other for like 20 mins before he said he was sick and needed to go home and couldn't make it to the movie we had planned afterwords. He said all this was because he's upset that he didn't get to see me walk which was supposedly a big deal to him. I had to put in an application for my masters graduation and it asked it I was planning on walking. I talked to my dad about it even though I can pay for my gown and everything now I didn't really want to do it and I have other activities I would find more fun. I said I would really like to go camping since I'm big into the outdoors. His reply was that "spending a lot of time together doesn't seem like a great idea right now" because I'm not working on "my issues". I actually did go go to a psychologist since he's been really pushy about me seeing one and they said I had ASD. I sent the diagnosis to him so that he could see that I was trying and he basically went from saying it was fake and an excuse to saying that people with autism are too emotionally volatile and have a hard time with relationships. I gave him other things that I like - live shows, hiking, art, fishing, etc. But the only two choices he said I had if I didn't walk were going out to eat or going to the mall. I said I'm on a diet and I don't really like the mall but I would enjoy going thrift shopping instead and he said he was ending the conversation at that point. I don't know if I'm being overly entitled here. I worked really hard for this - currently I have a 4.0 and I'm a software developer full time so like 80 hours of work a week I've been doing for this. It felt like he just wanted photos to post on social media of his kid walking with a masters degree and didn't actually care about me as a person or my work. | AITA for asking my (mostly absent) father to do something I enjoy for graduation instead of walking/what he wants? | NTA |
10z2nu8 | I don't think I'm the asshole, but the owner and one of my employees seem to think so, so I figured I would ask! I am also autistic, so maybe the context just doesn't make sense to me. So for some context before we begin, I, (23 NB) am an assistant manager at a hotel. I have an employee who has been giving me some trouble since November/December. (30's M). One of the major problems that he goes to the owner about (27 M) is that I won't divulge details about myself and that I "shut him out". Some examples include:* I texted him to see if he could work NYE or NYD since I had worked 2 holidays last year (Halloween and thanksgiving, one of which I covered for this employee), and he had only worked one. I was also going to be working a double on NYE, so I figured he could take one of the two shifts. He copped a bit of an attitude with me for even asking, but agreed to take one of my NYE shifts. * What I didn't tell him was that my family had to move their Christmas celebration to NYE because some family members felt under the weather on Christmas. I didn't tell him because i honestly didn't believe it was relevant. I was going to have to work both days anyway, so I wasn't even planning on going. The owner, unbeknownst to me, decided to take one of my NYE shifts so that I could spend some time with my family. (I had mentioned the celebration to my comanager, who then mentioned it to the owner because she felt bad that not only was I missing time with my family, I was also going to be working a double) I did not text this coworker back to tell him any of this, but he was upset because he "would have been more flexible had he known." * I brought my boyfriend to the work Christmas party. My comanager already knew of and had met my boyfriend, as well as the owner. This employee complained because I didn't tell him I even had a boyfriend, much less one I had been living with for three years. * he is married with children, for context. * We were looking to hire another employee to work the front desk. I made a post on Facebook, and an acquaintance that I had known for around 10 years (a friend of a friend) reached out to me to apply for the position. We ended up hiring her. I did not tell the employee in question that the new hire was someone I knew. No one else applied for the position, otherwise, I would have considered them as well. Again, this person was a friend of a friend, someone I had gone to school with for 10 years but was never really friends with, so I didn't even consider it relevant information. The only way this employee found out was the owner had asked the new hire where she had heard about the position. Long post, I apologize. I don't really see the issue with not divulging information about myself in this way, but this employee and the owner think it is an issue. AITA? | AITA for not sharing information about myself at work? | NTA |
10z275i | My timing offended her as she had just asked me to wash something of mine so that she could use it later (dishes usually all get washed after dinner). While I agreed to wash the item she requested, I thought it was a good time to once again ask her to stop leaving her dishes in the sink and to put them in the dishwasher. (I find it difficult to cook when there are multiple dishes piled up in the sink.)Anyway, she got very upset with me, saying it was a tit for tat which wasn’t my intention at all, though to be honest I have been avoiding asking her because she deals with mental illness and I dread setting her off. It’s a fine line, being supported of her moods and yet asking for what I think are adult duties, not leaving your messes for other people.I will accept my judgement, I just need a reality check here. Am I the asshole for asking for a similar accommodation at the same time as another person? Should I have voiced my concerns at another time? | AITA for asking my adult daughter to put her plates in the dishwasher? | NTA |
10z24va | backstory, I have a lifelong friend (M14) call him A, A is one of my friends that I’ve known for the longest and we are really close, we met through my brother who is basically my best friend (M14) and we all hang out ever since we first met. Now I’m a girl 13F and so occasionally they like to make sexist jokes about me doing the dishes and me making them a sandwich.This didn’t bother me until we went out to play basketball (I love sports especially football and basketball) and they kept on calling me dishwasher and sandwich maker, just takin the piss, until I could deal with it and told them to shut up and that it wasn’t funny, every single time I done that they would all just laugh and say “it’s so funny” They also started saying that if i didn’t like it i could leave and that they make these jokes all the time so it shouldn’t matter. The thing is the jokes are so wrong and cruel to some extent, i even saw my brother put on a snap “well guess who can’t walk alone at night” after a girl corrected him. Fast Forward we get home and I go to my mum, we’re just talking and then asks how the day went and then I broke down and told her as they kept on making these jokes after, saying i was an asshole for snitching instead of talking about it to someone else or telling them which i did but they said “i thought it was a joke”AITA? | AITA for getting mad at my friends for making sexist remarks | NTA |
10z1t5u | **To Preface a little bit:** We moved out back in November 2020, a rental with 2 roommates + my GF&I. We lived there for half of 2021, as they raised our rent from $1900 to $2300. Long story, but ultimately we couldn't justify that rent increase and moved in with my GF's parents. **This was a mistake.**Since moving here, it's been nothing but hell. Constant fights between the parents, threats of divorce, almost hoarder like in terms of mess (dirty dishes in the sink, shit/piss stains on the toilet, cat litter always full, their dogs finding anything they can chew and half eaten towels, socks all being left on the floor/couch, the house reeks of cat piss and unwashed dogs... I can go on forever about this). GF's parents and brother all contribute to this mess. I've tried my very best (thanks to my momma for teaching me good habits) to clean up the mess and make it somewhat livable for us - it's a never ending battle and I don't think I'm on the winning side.**Fast forward to yesterday (Feb 09, 2023):**My in-laws recently asked me to house-sit and take care of the animals (2 dogs, 4 cats) while they travel to a warm destination next month. They dropped this on my lap pretty much last minute, because they have this idea that they should go down as a family before my GF's sister pops out her kid (due date is in the summer). Even though the original plan was for all of us, myself included, would go down, but this surprise pregnancy changed those plans.I, WFH 9 - 5 during the week, have two dogs of my own to take care of. So I politely declined as I believe this would be too much to handle by myself. Which, I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. We pay more than our fair share of rent, $650 a month split between GF and I ($325 each), well above the needed money for utilities & internet.. Heck we don't even have a kitchen in our living area (basement), nor a bathroom.They said to me it wouldn't be much work, all you have to do is feed the dogs once a day, let them out once or twice and put them in the crates for the times I cannot watch them (this is the norm for them, even though it shouldn't be). Cats can usually take care of themselves, minus the litter and filling their food.After still telling them it would be too much and it's not fair to those dogs, they said they would get my GF's grandparents to travel 2.5 hours each way to watch them... They are 80+ years old and these are not small dogs. They refuse to kennel the dogs, I believe this is too costly for them (bad spending habits or they think it's not worth it, and would rather someone do it for free/less), and they say "the kennel would do the same, keep them locked up"...I don't think this is fair to myself, those poor dogs, or my GF's Grandparents. Even with them also saying they would let me keep rent for March and bring me back a bottle of booze (I rarely drink....)**AITA for saying no?** | AITA for denying my in-laws ask of house sitting while the whole family vacations | INFO |
10z1k5f | My (25f) twin sister (25f) and I live near eachother in our city. Our family always has a Superbowl get together each year at our parents. This year, my sister was able to get free tickets to our city's NBA team and it landed on Superbowl. She can make both as the basketball game is earlier, but it would be a bit hectic. She suggested that I ask my roommate (our close mutual friend, I will call her RM) to borrow her car to get to our parents on my own, they would take the train to our parents from the basketball game since it's a pretty direct route and then I could drive all of us back to the city after the Superbowl. I felt awkward. I didn't understand why I would ask RM for her car when my sister and her boyfriend own one (it is in his name, she is insured on it and they both use it decently regularly)... If all of us are needing to use a car.. and people in our group own a car... Why wouldn't I drive that one to our parents? Using RMs car feels like it would be taking advantage of her. She is incredibly generous and has told me to borrow her car if I need it, and I've used it to get to work before... but I also don't **need** a car to get to my parents, it would just be easier to get home after the Superbowl since the trains aren't running as frequently on Sunday night. I told my sister I thought it made more sense to ask to use their car since my roommate isn't coming to Superbowl and may want her car that day. My sister said that since ive driven RMs car before, it would be easier as I might not be used to theirs. I told her that I'm a pretty confident driver and in the past year have driven two rentals (different makes and models), my dad's, my mom's, and even my boyfriend's car. I also said I would ask her boyfriend myself as well, as the car is in his name. My sister freaked out at me and told me that "you simply don't want to ask RM, and framed my suggestion as nonsensical". To me, it doesn't make sense. Why are you telling me to ask my roommate for her car to drive all three of us home from our parents when you and your boyfriend **have a car**? RM and her car shouldn't really even be part of this conversation in my opinion. I told my sister that her plan didn't make sense to me, and that it felt odd and she has accused me of "not accepting her reasoning". She said she's been having a hard time at work so I feel bad for the unecessary stress I guess? But I just don't understand why asking to borrow their car instead was such a trigger. I don't have to borrow their car.. but why would I ask RM for hers? I don't **need** to use the car to get to my parents. She asked me to do this. Me driving to my parents was her idea, not mine. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to drive my roommates car? | NTA |
10z1e73 | I will be the first to admit I have it good: a good paying job out of school, I can occasionally work from home, and I don’t have to pay any rent because my grandma lets me stay here for free. I can’t even lie that I probably take it for granted a bit.But good lord, it’s like every time my grandmother speaks to me it’s to ask me to fix something or go grab something for her. I’ll be going to grocery story like 3-4 times some weeks because she forgot something on her list the first time.But you know what? I may mumble and grumble, but I will always do it. Eventually. But if it’s not exactly when she wants it done, she gets really nasty with me. Am I really an ungrateful brat if I just want to chill after work and I push off her 30th chore to tomorrow or the weekend when it’s more convenient? Some days I am really just not feeling it man. Is that really such a deplorable thing? Perhaps freedom is truly the price that apartment rent is worth lol | AITA for not running errands for my grandma as soon as she wants them done? | NTA |
10z16lu | Before school I was getting ready but my sister came to ask me for a hoodie since she wanted one even though she has a few sweatshirts. I gave her this grey one out of my closet and said that it was good enough and I drove her to school with me. But in the middle of the day my phone is getting blown up by my sister who is telling me to meet up with her so I can give her the hoodie im wearing because the one I gave her earlier was “dogshit”. So I said I couldn’t do it as I was busy with something (which I was) and she got mad and texted me to fuck off because she was late for class waiting for me. I gave her more than a minutes notice and I was busy with school, so AITA and should I have given it to her? I guess I could have made the time but idk. Also I knows its pretty minor but stuff like this happens all the time with other objects and such. | AITA for not giving my sister my hoodie | NTA |
10z5ieg | Background: my family has always been well-off. And by that, I mean like we would take family vacations two to three times per year. It's still like that now, but I've noticed a difference in how my family acts now that my (F27) wife (F24) and I are married. About three weeks ago, my dad booked a trip to Italy. Everyone was excited, the family gc was lit up for days following the announcement. I called my dad and talked to him for a while and eventually I thanked him for including my wife who'd always felt left out. There was a slight pause and he told me that he booked the rest of the available seats on that particular flight and there was only enough for him, my mother, grandparents, my sister + her husband, and me. He booked it without even taking my wife into consideration. Now I know what a lot of people would think that it was just a mistake but I don't think so given the fact that my wife has been excluded in other ways before and if it were a mistake, he'd do everything he could to change it before even announcing the vacation.My heart sunk. I looked at my wife who could tell something was off and I told my dad to just give my seat to someone else because if she wasn't included, I wasn't going. In the past, I was able to include my wife myself but I was tired of us being singled out. They never did that to my sister and her husband, they've always included them as a couple. But when it comes to my wife and I, we've always had to figure our own way into the mix as if we weren't to be taken seriously. I'm not doing that now and I drew the hard line in the sand this time. This man had the audacity to say that her and I could book our own flight and just, you know, *meet them there*. I simply said "absolutely not" then hung up.Needless to say, my wife was in tears. She was upset, but she was glad that I was sticking by her. A couple of days went by and we decided to go on our own vacation to a much humbler location (large rental cabin) with her family, who are all downright amazing. Well...my family found out and they have not stopped blowing up my phone. My mom called me one night during all this and said that I was being unreasonable and that there's no way I couldn't just book a separate flight and instead book an entirely different vacation with her family. I explained to her that that wasn't the point, that the point was that they have excluded my wife from every family-related event ever since we got married which always put me in the position to fix it. My mom basically called me crazy and that I was overthinking a simple mistake on my dad's part. For some reason, I'm starting to think that maybe I am overthinking it and that I should just talk with my dad to see if excluding my wife was intentional (which was another point my mom brought up). AITA? | AITA for going on a vacation with my wife's family instead of my own? | NTA |
10z5fky | I (21F) and my boyfriend (26M) were having a conversation about marriage and he said it's easy for women coz all they do after getting married is enjoy and you might say women give birth which is painful but technology has made everything easy you get a c-section done and you're good to go, painless delivery. We've been dating for a year now and it's really bothering me that I find him so misogynist. I couldn't take it when he said pregnancy and giving birth is easy i screamed at him out of frustration, cried and left abruptly. I couldn't take it because a month ago I had to terminate our baby and it was painful and i couldn't imagine how painful giving birth would be, him belittling it made me lose my shit. | AITA for screaming at my boyfriend because he said all women do is enjoy | NTA |
10z5e5o | I have plans to see a lady tonight. This convo follows after I send her a pic of me in the shower as I was looking forward to seeing her.Her: Will you shower with me later?Me: Again?.. you can shower here at my place or at home before I pick you up if you’d like?Her: angry face. Fine nevermind Me: sorry, it’s a funny thing to ask after I send a pic of me currently in the shower. But if it’ll ruin the night I will shower with youHer: well I only mentioned it so we can shower together but it sounds like a crime to youMe: no not a crime, we can shower no problem.Her: 💔 Me: what’s wrong?Silence…. | AITA? Need another perspective. | NTA |
10z5cah | I (15f) have a boyfriend (14M) who has a female friend (14F) that has been getting very close to him for some time. I want to ask my boyfriend to drop this friend for the following reasons:- She flirtatiously touches his arm when joking with him- They both did VERY inappropriate head motions to each other- One close friend I have confided in said that its obvious she likes him without me pointing it out- She posted pictures of them together more than once where their shoulders were touching, and apparently they sit next to each other and talk to each other very often in school- Before dating me, the exact same thing happened with his ex. For context, this female friend was dating one of his guy friends, and when those two broke up, this girl started getting even closer with my boyfriend. With my boyfriends ex, this exact thing happened and they started dating. I’m afraid he will cheat on me with her at this point- This is probably a bad thing, but I get jealous when they are with each other. My boyfriend claims that she makes him uncomfortable but then also says he doesn’t hate her and that “she hasn’t done anything to make him hate her” despite him not liking when she touches himI will admit that in the past, I had been insecure about his other female friends he’s known his whole life, but he just started knowing this girl and already they are VERY close. I’ve seen this happen before, and I know its ending. AITA for wanting him to drop her? | AITA for making my boyfriend drop a friend? | YTA |
10z5adm | Every Friday night, a group of friends and I get together for movie night. It's always been something I look forward to, except for recently. There's a new person attending (new to me....not to my other friends) that rubs me the wrong way, let's call him Bob.I've been informed Bob has extreme social anxiety issues. When it comes to my interactions with him, he will give me the silent treatment. It's so awkward if my friends leave the room and I'm alone with Bob...he will refuse to look at me. Sometimes I try to start a conversation, but his responses are typically "one word" replies.I've asked my friends if Bob hates me, to which my friends acknowledge he does get rude towards me at times....and they have apparently asked Bob, but Bob says it's just his social awkwardness and he has nothing against me.Last week, Bob was acting very strange (I think he said maybe 10 words the entire night). I was asking him about some youtubers he watches....and his response was "I don't watch those people..." even though in the past, he's told he has. I was also ordering everyone dinner via GrubHub, and I asked him what he wanted.....he just ignored me. A few minutes later, he shouted out his order to me.Anyway, I told my friend (the host) today that I won't be coming to Friday night movies if Bob attends. I would never tell my friends, "It's him or ME!", so I decided the best option would be for me to find a new Friday night activity. My friend (the host of movie nights) is bummed, because we are best friends. He wants me to just ignore Bob's social anxiety issues, but after a few months of trying that, I give up. My friend said he understands, but I feel like an a\*\*hole.So, AITA in this situation? Should I be more sensitive about this person and their problems? I'm upset that I can't attend a movie night we've had on-going for many years because Bob always puts me in a bad mood. | AITA for not attending movie night due to the guest list? | NTA |
10z58fe | I (16,M) am a bit of a picky eater. I just hate pretty much all fruits except oranges. I don't like meat or chicken but I do like vegetables and eggs. Most of the time, my mom makes food which has chicken or meat in it so I decide not to eat. I also don't really feel like having rice or soup sometimes.When that happens, I make myself some eggs. I love eggs, I have like 3-4 with maybe some pickles. It just always works. I basically have eggs for breakfast every day and also sometimes for dinner. For breakfast, I just have 2-3 eggs instead. I should say that I feel really nauseous in the morning but eggs are the only thing I can stomach early before going to school. Everyone in the house knew about it and my parents just thought it was funny. Somehow though my mom randomly got annoyed after seeing we were out of eggs today, and told me she will not be buying any more eggs anymore and that I have to pay for any I want to eat or just ask her to make anything else I want. She says it's because the price is too high. I told her everything has a price that is too high now, and if she cuts me off eggs I will be skipping breakfast and dinner. She told me when I do that she'll be sure I eat what she makes that day. I got really mad and left and now she made food but I'm skipping and I think I'll go through with this. I don't specifically have any dietary restrictions but I think my mom is being unreasonable since I'm not hurting anyone and I don't have a job to pay for eggs.AITA? | AITA for refusing to eat my mom's food? | YTA |
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