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10z55k8 | My wife (28f) and I (30m) have been married for 6 years. I’ve always been the breadwinner while she hasn’t worked in 3 years. The company she worked at went bankrupt and then COVID made it hard for her to get a job in her field so she became housewife, then a SAHM since our first kid 1 year ago. She’s a great SAHM and does a lot of the childcare. I’ll feed and play with our kid at night but she does all the care while I’m at work.We have a joint account where everything for the house, cars, etc. gets paid from. She has her own account as well and I have one too that I just use as a savings account. Half my earnings go to the joint account and half to the savings account. I give my wife $100 a week for her personal account for helping around the house and with our kid. But if she needs something that’s shared for the house or gas money that comes from the joint account. We also go shopping weekly for groceries and all that comes from the joint account too. She has access to all the money but I don’t let her spend too much so that’s why she gets an allowance. She usually just uses her personal money for clothes. Last week she bought a new pair of expensive boots.My wife also has credit card debt that I wasn’t involved in but I’m helping to pay off since she obviously doesn’t work right now. This month I got a bonus from work and used it to pay off her debt completely (it was about $10k). I also wanted to buy myself a PS5 and asked my wife if that was okay since I was trying to be polite and make joint decisions with her. She told me “well then do I get to buy something too?” I was really confused because I just paid off her entire debt recently and she bought boots last week from the allowance I gave her. She told me it wasn’t fair if I get to buy something and she doesn’t, but I said I never buy stuff like that. She said I spend money on food all the time so it evens out, but I don’t spend that much, maybe like $5 a day for lunch at work. I ended up telling her to just forget about it, I didn’t need to buy the PS5. But now she’s telling me I’m an asshole because I would rather make both of us miserable then buy her something. But I just didn’t want to spend $1000 instead of $500 when I just paid $10k on her debt so I changed my mind. I can see how she doesn’t see paying off debt as a treat but it was still a LOT of money and she also buys fun things all the time with her allowance while I put my extra money into the savings account. I don’t think she likes that I save more than I let us spend because she likes to buy stuff all the time. Her sister is also a SAHM and her sister’s husband always remarks how he can’t afford all the new clothes she wants to get so I think this is just some kind of spoiled behavior that their parents taught them. So AITA? | AITA for wanting to buy something for myself but not my wife? | NTA |
10z51qj | So me and my best girlfriend are in the same friend-group. she asked me today if i wanted to go out and just walk in circles in the city, like we always do. i said i didn't want to. we do this everyday and this was my first time declining hanging out with her. she didn't get mad.After a few hours another girlfriend from our friend-group calls me and asks if i want to come with them all (we are 2 boys and 3 girls), including my best gf, to a restaurant in another city near our city. i said i first had to ask my parents for permission. i asked, and as i expected, they didn't let me go out, because it was already past 7pm. i told her i would've come but i wasn't allowed to.After another few hours my best gf texted me saying how disappointed she is in me because i said no to her but yes to 'the other', knowing damn well she's part of 'the others', like she expressed. i replied with "I said no to you because i didn't want to walk in our city like we always do, if someone else asked me to do the same thing today i wold've declined to them too. but going out with all 4 of you to a restaurant in another city? ofc i will accept." And that's no lie, if someone else had asked me today to do something in our city i would've said no. she's still mad and thinks i declined on her because i don't want to hang out with her / am bored of her. AITA?English is not my first language, i hope it's understandable. | AITA for declining on my best girlfriend but wanting to hang out with our whole friend-group? | NTA |
10z50mn | It has happened three times now that my mother(F49) said I should stop trying to help and that I "only make things worse".Let me give a bit more context; my father has recently done a medical procedure and has run my mother absolutely ragged with taking care of him. She hasn't been getting much sleep and is, in general, more tired than usual. This has led to her lashing out at me, with some less-than-savory comments, however, I am quick to understand and have overlooked many of these times now and in the past.I'd like to add that she does not do it out of malicious intent but out of a lack of attention to her wording, even if she doesn't find her comments offensive and finds me to be overreacting. This time around, I tried to explain how I felt, only for her to just look at me as though I was overreacting. I left and was later dragged back to the room by my dad who felt we should put this behind us, she started off by complaining that she was the only one who was apologizing recently which my dad denied, claiming he had seen me apologize to her many times before.I sat down next to my mother, who literally repeated my dad's explanation of what she did wrong word for word and tacked on an apology afterward. I'd asked her to be more genuine, only for her to say she was being genuine and for my father to say that it was hard for her to apologize. I said I hoped she wouldn't do it again in the future, which made my dad say she doesn't do it on purpose and call me selfish for not accepting her apology and making this whole thing worse.I don't believe forgiveness should be given if the person isn't being held accountable or claiming to do better in the future. This is the third time she's said this exact sentence.Am I overreacting or am I right in not being quick to forgive? | AITA for not wanting to forgive my mother after she said something in the heat of the moment | YTA |
10z4w9t | So I (22F) and my best friend (24f) have always wanted to do youtube together. We’ve talked about it for years but have never done it. Ive also always wanted my own channel. At the end of last year, we decided to finally start. We planned our content, did practice videos to get a feel for the editing process, and we were finally making big steps towards actually doing it. the plan was to start our joint channel, and branch out into our own channels later. (i wanted to do it the other way around, but conceded for her) Although, i did feel like I was putting in more work and taking on more tasks it was fun so i didn’t mind. Well after that, I had a lot of personal stuff going on and had to stop working on it for a while. (like 2 weeks i stopped) I was going through a major depression episode and could barely do the bare minimum for my home and family. I was struggling with a lot of dark thoughts. As i was starting to pull myself out of it though, I sent my best friend a message apologizing for my absence and letting her know i’m getting ready to jump back into things though. What’s upsetting me though, is she kinda ghosted me too. I wasn’t the only one who stopped working and texting, she did too. It was around the holidays though so i figured she’s just busy, i obvi had my own stuff going on, so i didn’t hound her. But now that i’ve taken accountability for my absence and apologized, she hasn’t even read the message. it’s been 3 days. I don’t know if she hasn’t read it cause she’s busy or if she’s mad at me. I’m at a point where i’m going stir crazy ready to work on things again, because i really do enjoy the process of working. Would i be TA if i start working on my own channel even though we agreed to wait?Edit: a lot of people keep asking why i haven’t called so let me clarify here. She has clients that come to her home and i don’t know her schedule for when. i don’t want to call her while she’s working and busy with a client. I have kids and am all over the place during the day too. We typically schedule phone calls for this reason, not call out of the blue. | WIBTA for starting my own Youtube channel? | NTA |
10z4u0q | So I live in the upper mid west where snowfall is expected during the winter. Yesterday we had a winter weather advisory where we got around 5 inches of wet snow. This morning I woke up and was walking to class and over half the sidewalks in front of peoples houses were essentially pure ice with no sand. I then wanted to see what others in the community thought so I posted a picture of a very long, pure ice, sidewalk and said “why don’t people shovel?”, not as a genuine question but more so voicing my frustration with the fact that my sidewalk is clean and dry while others neglected to even put some sand over the ice. The reaction I got was not what I was expecting as I was downvoted to oblivion and received a few heated comments towards me attacking my personhood😂 I know I am the idiot for posting with an expectation, but am I the asshole? | AITA for posting/complaining about icy sidewalks the morning after a big snowfall? | YTA |
10z4ng8 | For some context, I (F16) and seven of my other close friends (all F15-16) had a sleepover the other week. As you might imagine, fitting 8 people into a bedroom was quite hard, we had 3 people on the double bed (will be relevant later), 3 people on air mattresses on the floor, 1 person on an armchair and 1 person on a campbed. I was on the double bed, in between G (F16) and another girl. It was quite late (5am or so) and we had been steadily drinking our way through a couple packs of beers and we decided to turn the lights off and go to sleep (now would probably be a good time to add i wear glasses and have a very strong prescription, not sure how much though my mum takes care of that lol. I also still had them on even though we were trying to “go to sleep”). As we were talking in the dark, G reaches over and snatches my glasses off my face. We were laughing and I was trying to get them back and asking for her to give them back and she says “no”This is where I think was the asshole: I said “stop this is ableist!” and G said something along the lines of “no it’s not?” (G is very outspoken on issues such as misogyny ect and as far as I’m aware she isn’t disabled in case that’s important at all)Then I decided up the assholery and said “Yes it is because I’m not able to see!” After I said this she went kinda quiet (I think she said something but I cannot remember it, sorry) and just gave me my glasses back and when we went out the next day she seemed off with me. We haven’t really talked about it since then (we are still close though). So AITA?? | AITA for making a joke about ableism? | NTA |
10z4lud | Context: my father's mother is the one in the hospital right now. Last Christmas I cut contact with my father so the tension is already highHere's the people involved:My mom - Mom, F56My father - Dad, M53My brother - Bro, M31Father's mother - Kay, F72and me, NB21Mom and I booked a cruise for this weekend a few weeks ago. We were both very excited about going, since we haven't really spent enough quality time with only the two of us, and this trip was my Christmas gift to Mom.Kay got a serious case of cerebral hemorrhage today, and was taken to the hospital. It still isn't looking good, although she is stable. Later in the day I saw a group message from Bro saying others in the family think Kay won't make it long enough to see Monday. I'd been very off the whole day already, and reading that made the seriousness of the situation finally hit me. I almost broke down.I then asked Mom to tell me the details, and she did in several messages. Right after that she asked me what I was gonna pack for the cruise. I was shocked. I couldn't even consider going somewhere, when it's a very real possibility, that Kay might actually die, while I could be there, but wasn't.Only a minute later I see Bro sending more messages pondering what my parents might do with Kay's house. He was talking as if Kay was already dead, and I just felt devastated all over. I had to cancel the cruise. Mom seemed to reluctantly agree to cancel the cruise, and just said "the money will go to waste". I couldn't care less about 80€ going to waste right now. It wasn't even her money, but mine. And I understand it's a lot of money since I'm a student, but still.After that I got a message from Dad saying that we "aren't allowed" to cancel the cruise. That we can't help anyways, and that he's going to get offended if I cancel the trip (??) He thinks it's best we visit Kay, and then leave for the cruise. I got offended, that Dad would be offended, about me canceling the trip. It's his mother in the hospital, for fuck's sake. If it was him, would he really want me to leave to have fun and not be nearby in case something happens? So after getting this message I sent a screen shot of it to Mom and said again that I'm sorry, that she and I wouldn't be going. She replied that she understands me and tried to cheer me up a little bit.I'm so hurt, confused and apalled about what's going on right now. But I also feel guilty about taking away the ability to try and get away from everything (lots has been going on in my family since Christmas) from Mom. Especially since she seemed so reluctant to agree, and I know she needs this chance to relax a bit.AITA? | AITA for not going on a cruise when my grandma might be dying? | NTA |
10z4cn2 | I think IATA, but I also want to get the internet‘s opinion. I (25F) have been living with my roommate (27M) for about a year. We knew each other before moving in together and it seemed like a compatible match. My roommate talks a lot about wanting to live in a clean apartment, but he has a hard time initiating cleaning. This was something I thought we could figure out together since I also like a clean apartment, but initiating is sometimes hard for me too. It turns out we both have the same sense of what is considered clean and organized, but we have very different thresholds. Even though it bothers him, my roommate‘s room is filled with fast food trash and dirty laundry. It has a hoarders vibe to it. I have tried numerous times to get him organized but it doesn’t last long. We‘ve talked about setting a cleaning schedule for him to just work on his room, but he doesn’t think he can do it. Right now I clean the house about once or every other week. I try my best to keep my things organized, but I find myself cleaning up after him too. When I ask him to help with just the bathroom, or something, he will clean half of it and then neglect to finish the rest. He says he’s trying his best and to let him know what needs to be done around the apartment, but I just feel like his mom. When we started living together I didn’t have enough money to live alone, but since I’ve changed jobs and have a salary increase and I have been able to save money, I feel like I’m ready to live on my own when it’s time to renew the lease. In the mean time, though, I’m having a hard time keeping my frustrations inside. I have been complaining to my friends about living with him and I feel like trash talking shit behind his back. Even when my friends come over and he’s hanging out with us, I have a hard time not feeling annoyed with him and it comes out in my attitude towards him. AITA? | AITA for complaining about my roommate? | NTA |
10z45co | So my (13F) friend (13F) asked me to hang out with her today. ( She also asked me a few times before but i never felt like it so i never agreed) This time we had a big argument about it. I again said no because i just didnt want to and she got really mad at me. She wanted me to give her a reason why i dont want to hang out and since i really didnt have any i just said i wasnt feeling like it. She then told me that im a selfish ahole and kept insulting me. She even bringed my past and my mom into this. One other thing she said is that we more online friends than friends irl since we text each other everyday but dont really meet.( a little detail, she moved to a new school recently but we used to be classmates and obviosuly met everyday) I know it probably sucks to have a friend who never hangs out with you, but ive been feeling so shitty lately and cant bring myself together. Idk whats going on with me, but shoudve just agreed and go out with her instead of doing that? AITA? | AITA for not wanting to hang out with one of my friends? | NTA |
10z44nw | So, my boyfriend is a femboy. I love him and support his decision to dress this way. I find him very attractive and compliment him whenever I can. He often wears shorter skirts and revealing shirts, which I dont mind in general. However, this was a different case. My sister recently recovered from a hospital visit, so my family thought it’d be fun to have a family meetup as celebration (she was in the hospital for a decent chunk of time). They invited me, which I of course accepted, and when I told my boyfriend, he asked to come. I was put in a difficult situation here, as my family are very traditional. It was already a strain when I came out as gay, my dad didnt speak to me for a month after I told him for example. So I told my boyfriend, that if he came, he’d have to dress more normally, jeans, standard shirts etc. He took offense to this, telling me that the way he dresses is normal, that theres no default clothing for anyone. I told him this wasnt true, I dont dress this way, and he got mad and has been ignoring my messages and calls. The meetup is in a week and I dont know what to do here. So, am I the asshole reddit? | AITA for asking my bf to dress differently? | NTA |
10z41mm | throwaway accountI (20nb), live with my boyfriend (21m) and his roommate (25m). The roommate has a girlfriend (23f) who moved in not too long ago after a fight with her sister (who she lived with before).As soon as she moved in, there were problems. She had an issue with the bedroom arrangement (she wanted the master bedroom, Roommate chose the secondary because that’s what he wanted, she blames me and my bf), then she had a problem with my boyfriend’s cooking (she can’t cook, *I* can’t cook, Roommate didn’t wanna cook that night), THEN she had an issue on parking, because my boyfriend uses the covered parking spot for his car while the Roommate and I are uncovered (she has no car). She made us get rid of our cat because she didn’t wanna chip in for the pet fee, which no one asked her to do. She doesn’t clean unless practically begged— last week, she left dirty dishwater in the sink, blackened food(?) in a pot on the stove, and a fucking EYELASH on the counter— she throws away groceries that me and my boyfriend buy if she doesn’t like them, she won’t let me smoke on my own porch, she belittles me and my bf, she doesn’t pay rent, she’s constantly cheating so they’re ALWAYS FIGHTING at night, she’s called out of work so many times that if she takes 1 minute too long on a break she’s fired, leaves her clothes in the washer for hours and gets irrationally angry if I remind her, steals food that she wants for herself… I’m over it. Here’s why I don’t know if I would be TA: she has little to no savings, and no one to move in with after us, as we were her last resort after she split from her sister. So if I ask to put her out, that would pretty much make her homeless. No amount of talking will get her to change, we’ve tried, and I just have no idea what’s left for me to do. WIBTA? | WIBTA for kicking out my roommate’s girlfriend? | NTA |
10z3wr8 | I (f18) have a friend that I'll call Jenna. Jenna (F17) is kind of new to our friend group and makes it quite obvious and is kind of vocal about how she likes my twin brother who I'll call Josh (M18). That's fine, I've had plenty of friends try and get me to set them and my brother up just like his friends with me. We both barely ever do it though. The other day I was at lunch with two of my best friends, Jenna, and other girls in our friend group. One of my best friends made a joke about Josh always yelling at my house when he's playing on his PS5. I laughed because it wasn't serious and I know that Josh would think it's funny too. But Jenna said something like "I don't know about you guys but I would never make fun of someone who I consider my friend." I just kind of rolled my eyes but she kept going off on our friends and also acting like her and Josh are best friends or something. I said "it's fine" hoping she would just stop talking. She then said "no Josh is my friend I'm not just gonna sit here and let people talk about him." he is literally my twin brother and him and Jenna really aren't that close at all. The only times they have hung out was when our two groups hang out, It was hard to watch so I just texted her and asked if we could talk about this somewhere else. I know I'm not the one who did anything but I just wanted her to stop talking about it to everyone. She then showed everyone the text I sent and said "Just say it" so I said "Jenna, you don't hide the fact you like my brother which is fine. But you're talking to them (my best friends) like they haven't known Josh their whole life, and you're talking to me like he's not my twin. You're making this a whole thing because you want us to think that you have this close bond with him. If you want a close bond with him just ask him out, don't yell at people because of it." I felt really bad afterwards. I just found it annoying at the time and I just said it. She didn't say anything except "whatever" back to me and then our conversation went back to normal. | AITA for telling a girl how i see it? | NTA |
10z3ud9 | I am a (white female) magician hired to do magic at a Mardi Gras party for a New Orleans themed bar. My immediate idea was to do tarot/voodoo themed magic and outfit. Like a tailored coat, skulls, that kind of thing. Like Dr Facilier from Princess and a Frog. Now I’m worried this may be cultural appropriation, but I’m not doing some tribal/headdress witch doctor thing. It would be more of a steampunk vibe. What do you think? Should I stick to a tacky jester outfit instead? | WIBTA if I dress as a witch doctor for a Mardi Gras magic show? | YWBTA |
10z3h0s | So, I live in a very everyone-knows-everyone place, and I know a lot of people and I go out a lot. Being such, I hear about a lot of "drama" - things people have done or said, who they did or said it to, things about people's pasts, etc. My problem is that I find so much out that I end up forgetting most of it. There have been multiple times where I've been hanging out with a friend of a friend, then suddenly remember that they did XYZ awful things to people I love and care about. I feel like I'm letting down my friends by not being diligent enough with the information I remember to hold people accountable, but I'm also autistic and struggle with my memory because of that.My solution, an idea I had a few days ago, was to start keeping a private (password-protected, encrypted etc) document of the things I hear about people, so I can cross-reference it when I meet/see people to make sure I'm not putting myself in dangerous situations (like the times I've suddenly remembered the accusations against a man I'm alone with) or betraying those I care about.The problem is this - I started making this document, then couldn't remember the name of someone I was recently warned about by my best friend. I messaged them to ask, and they told me, then asked why. I trust this friend implicitly and know that they would never try to steal my phone/hack me/etc for the document, so I told them about it, and they blew up at me. They said it was a major violation of privacy not only of those I noted the bad actions of, but those who were victims of them/told me the information. Said that I could get people in a lot of trouble, could end relationships, put myself in danger, etc. When I suggested having a physical file with padlocks etc they got even angrier and said that it was about the principle.Now they're refusing to talk to me until I "admit" I was wrong and promise not to do it. I understand that it could be a violation of privacy, but it's not as if I'd be using any information that wasn't either public or told to me personally. I feel it would do more good than harm, and I could effectively warn my friends about local predators/cheaters/etc.So, WIBTA if I made the document and lied to my friend about it? | WIBTA if I kept secret notes on local goings-on? | YTA |
10z3beo | I will use my most recent date as an example, and as banale as it sounds, it turned into the topic of strippers. And it came to her attention that in my opinion, there is a difference between strippers who dance for money from men and strippers who dance for fun, I conveyed my opinion that the strippers who dance for money from men basically lose a little of their souls bit by bit. And she asked me (as a follow up question) if I ever would date somebody with an onlyfans, and I put a hard no on that.I dread first dates, because I dont know of there is something wrong with *how* I tell my opinions on matters, or if my opinions themselves make me a total a-hole? | AITA and the reason for not getting anywhere with my first dates? | YTA |
10z36de | Hi there,I came home for a short period of time and wanted to catch up with my close family. I was given a short notice by my sister for the diner I asked her to organise (for which I had to make a couple of changes to my schedule to make this easier for her) and out of the blue she has invited someone else that I don’t want there as I want to relax and be with the family I haven’t seen for years. I’m also very stressed and tired, I asked why I wasn’t consulted first and I got thrown back phrases and whys to make me feel guilty. I asked if the person could not come this time and I’m sure they would understand that we want to be with close family on this occasion. But my sister refused and continued wanted to force me to do what she says.I flipped as I’m tired to be forced to do things (this happens a lot in the family. I don’t feel we can have conversations, it’s always what the parents or the oldest siblings say), and I said I would rather not attend then. Is it for me, like are you coming to see me or the diner is just an excuse to have a friend fed?I have seen all my family separately since I have been back, expect my sister. So this diner is also to see her. She says she is busy all the time and work 24/7 but she goes out and party, I know it’s all bs.I’m honestly just tired and I don’t care anymore. I said it’s either she learns to have a conversation and be polite or go and do her own thing with her friend, as I thought, she wanted to see me lol but I guess not.I don’t like to flip on people, even less so on family, so this is why I’m here asking. But either way, I’m just so tired of being constantly forced by others wishes that I don’t even care if I’m the bad guy here.In fact, if I did say yes, it would have been to make her happy. Again, over my own wishes. If this was her diner, I wouldn’t mind. If it was a partner I wouldn’t mind, even if I didn’t like them, I would force myself for them. But a random person with my whole damn situation now? I just want peace. She is already a lot to handle… I wanted this diner out of politeness, we don’t even have a healthy relationship, she is mostly aggressive toward me when things don’t go her way. Hence why not consulting me first, not even bothering to ask what I wanted.Anyways sorry, this feels now more like a rant. It’s funny how with age, we don’t have time to waste anymore to make other happy constantly over our own wants and needs. I want a harmonious life, respect, and love. I won’t compromise.I’m happy to start over the conversation if my sister apologise and follow my wishes for something that was organised for me. And just simply shows that how I feel do also matter. Otherwise I’m happy also where I am. Family doesn’t mean shit if people treat you like shit. Specially when you clearly tell them to not do it.Edit: My sister only had to find a restaurant for 5 people. That’s it. It’s not a party and there is no guest list lol I could have done it, but I thought it would be good to get her more involved but it didn’t matter for what happened anyways. | AITA? Sister invited a friend for a very small family diner organised for me but didn’t consulted me first. | YTA |
10z3642 | So basically it was very bad where i used too live sometimes we didnt get fed and i was getting the most hate from my family. It did get too the point where i ran away from my home one day after school, i was walking on the highway and was really into it. but after some hours my mother came after me and it was the first time i told her no because i was generally scared of her. she was yelling at me too get in the car i said no and kept walking she followed me stepped out once again and threathend too call the police thats when i gave up and sat in the car. when we got home i wasnt allowed too talk to any of my siblings all 3 of them came running into the hallways when i did get home and when i never responded too them they all started crying and so did i. When my mom got inside after smoking she told me to go too my room and that she did not want too see me again. I was the second child to get kicked out and i am heavily concerned about who the next one is going too be, i know i wasnt last. | AITA for running away from home? | NTA |
10z35ab | Bf wants to start smoking/vaping. I freaked out because he hasn’t used in five months and at the tail end of it he was obsessed. He used his pen/edibles before work, drive to work, on his break, on his lunch, during work, after work, and up until bedtime. He told me he wouldn’t get to that again because that was a difficult and stressful time for him as he hated his job and that was the culture at work everyone smoked.I still wanted to pin him down and have him say that he would do it once a week exhausted from a long workday, or at a party, or at a get together just every once in a blue moon, but he insisted that it may very well be every day after work just to relax take the edge off and use because it makes him calm and happy. So he brought up that maybe we are just not compatible with our lifestyles if I am going to be upset, he uses every day, even if it meant that he wouldn’t just get high every day because that’s not his plan. He’s asked that I’d be all in or all out on this matter because it’s a dealbreaker. He doesn’t want to be judged he doesn’t want me upset. He doesn’t want me to control him, he just wants to smoke and be free and chill.I thought about it, and I do not want to lose my partner over this. He takes care of me. He’s responsible and goes to work and now he says he won’t do it at work or while driving. Is it fair to say hey I’m all in but I need :1. Keep it away from my teen seeing/smelling this as he’s impressionable don’t want him exposed. 2. If we happen to see my fam (totally against it) to use some eye drops caz his eyes get red. AITA? To say I’m good but here’s these two things. AITA caz this is still me controlling him nonetheless? | AITA for setting bf boundaries around his marijuana usage? | NTA |
10z31cy | So for context, me and this person (I’ll call him Jake) have known each other for 2/3 years but known we existed for 5 (we got into this big dispute when we were younger). Our families are very different even thought we are both from Jamaican parents (he was born there, I wasn’t). Now you may be asking, why does this matter? Because my family is very supportive and caring, I’ve learned to have patience and take things slowly. While on the other hand, Jakes family is not the greatest (to say the least) from what I’ve heard on phone calls and vents they’ve expressed to me. With that, they’re used to moving really quickly and solving problems instantly. A couple weeks ago, they talked to be about how they feel absolutely horrible around me because it feels like they’re talking to a family member (which is not a good thing) but then proceeded to use the classic phrase “it’s not your fault but..”, so naturally I apologized and asked them how can I be a better person to *them* specifically. But he didn’t give me a direct answer. Even after telling me how I remind them of their toxic family, Jake said he still wanted to be friends with me, and so did I. On Saturday/Sunday, I asked them if I could take a break from our friendship because what they said really pierced me. Because they like resolving issues under 24hrs, that whole talk we had made me stressed that I would drive them to do awful things to themselves AGAIN, but I went with it because I always go by other peoples rules. I told them I needed some time to think about it because I was starting to get hysterical about it in my mind, they said okay but seemed upset. In the end, we agreed I could have my break, but what they didn’t express to me was that I was on some timer to tell them if I still wanted to be friends or not. Yesterday, I thought I finally made up my mind and wanted to be friends with them and I wanted to tell them later but they came up to me and said “let’s just not be friends because you took too long to decide.” And I just went, “Oh, okay then.” So, AITA for apparently taking too long of a break of my ‘friends’ liking after I explicitly asked? | AITA for taking a 6 day break from my ‘friend’ after explicitly asking them if I could? | NTA |
10z2w1f | First of all english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes. All names are obviously fake. I (20F) have known my best friend, Taylor(20F) since we were 6 months old, however we are currently study in different cities and have different friend circles, so we barely hangout anymore. But when we do we take the most of it. I’ve been officially dating my boyfriend, Tim (20M) for 4 months and his friends have become my friends. This story is regarding my friend Harry (19M) and he’s been recently going out with Diana (19F) but they are not officially dating. So onto the story, Taylor and I planned on hanging out, we went out for lunch and then we met with Tim and later Harry and Diana joined us (I did not know she’d be joining us). So context: I’m not the most affectionate person to people i don’t really know and i’m kinda of an introvert. Back to the story: Diana ran to me, hugged me and screamed for my name, she treats me like her best friend although we’ve only seen each other 4/5 times. And my reaction was just to hug and say “hello”. While Tim and Harry were playing snooker, Taylor and I were off to side just catching up and Diana was watching Tim and Harry play. After a while Tim noticed Diana was missing and Harry went looking for her, they came back 25 minutes later and he said that she was just bored. However I just continued to talk to Taylor while Diana went to sit somewhere else alone. I thought I did nothing wrong but when I told my mom and sister the story, my sister was understanding but my mom thought I was the asshole and rude for not including Diana in mine and Taylor’s private conversations. So Reddit, AITA?Edit: it was not my plan to hang out with them but Harry was late so Tim called me so he was not alone. And we went to the snooker place because I was cold and it was the only warm place close by. Diana went to hangout with Harry she did not know I was there, | AITA for ignoring my friend’s girlfriend | YTA |
10z24cm | Seems small but this issue has been building for me.My roommate and I have been living together for about 6 months now. We’ve known each other for 10 years.I was the first to arrive in our suite and I furnished most of the bathroom, including toilet paper, soap, body wash, shower rugs/mats, shelves, etc.Since then I have been working on paying for my own college for some time now, but it’s been slim going and I rarely have any extra cash. I’ve made this known to her and apologized if there was anything I might not be able to get straight away. I also wasn’t able to but her a birthday gift because of this.She has a little more financial room due to a full ride scholarship.Recently we ran out of toilet paper. She went out and bought some, which I was grateful for and thanked her, and she asked me for 5 bucks in return for getting it.This isn’t the first time she’s asked, as we have gotten things for the both of us before. And I’ve always paid for my half up to this point.But I was hesitant this time because I know that as of right now, I do not have 5 dollars in my account and I would need to borrow from my parents, who honestly don’t have any more money than I do as of right now.But thinking about this now…I have paid for a whole lot of the things she uses. She uses laundry detergent, her room has the mini fridge my parents and I both split the cost for (which she said she would pay them back for and never did), many of the things in the bathroom are all mine. She even at one point addressed how she felt bad my parents and I had paid for so many things, so I suggested that she pay them back, and she told me “maybe.”When I addressed this later, she said she had paid an equal amount for all the things she contributed to the bathroom, but so far that has been a shower curtain and now the toilet paper.I’m really trying to stay as neutral as possible here, but these are facts of our situation. Even before our current situation, she has always been extremely adamant about what I owe her, and it makes me feel as though the friendship has a price. I could understand if I owed her a large sum, but it’s never more than a few bucks.Is it possibly my fault for not reinforcing from the beginning that I needed her to pay me for what I bought? Or should I have been more adamant about being paid as I bought stuff in the future, even though I didn’t want to pressure her?Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay her?I so, is there at least some way I can tell her I don’t have the money right now? | WIBTA is I didn’t pay my roommate 5 dollars | YWNBTA |
10z1v50 | Context before the story I moved 8 hours away from home to start fresh. I only had a handful of close friends. The closest friend I have to this day is Drew. Drew is trans (biologically female, identifies as a man). He strictly likes biological females, and has never dated men, whether cis, or trans. Also extremely masculine. He is the kindest person I know, and has gone above and beyond with supporting me through my depression and social anxiety. I have done the same, whether it was him confessing he wanted top surgery, come out as trans, dealing with cheating partners I’ve always been there for him. Around the craziness of the holidays we were able to literally see eachother for 5 minutes because we were driving to different functions. He was meeting my GF Miley (24F) who I’ve been dating for almost a year. She has had a history of being jealous, and insecure but considering I’m a bit of a loner and was new to the area there really weren’t any issues because there was no body to have an issue around. we gave each other a massive hug, and I spun him around as I usually did. We spoke briefly and I introduced him to Miley. They were friendly, and spoke for a few minutes as I put the presents for Drew and his GF in the car. Afterwards me and Miley were driving and she seemed really annoyed. I asked her what was up and she refused to talk about it. She just stared out the window. I told her to take her time and I was here when she needed me. After a while she opened up and said it was inappropriate I had another person in my arms. I was confused but she clarified that it was the hug and even if Drew was a man, because he was biologically female it was an issue. I asked her if the hug was flirty, or inappropriate? She said it didn’t seem inappropriate but she said I wasn’t allowed to hug him like that if she was around. This irked me because Drew is one of the few people I don’t have to police my actions around. Now I’ve never policed her actions. She has gotten dinner with male friends one on one and the only thing I ask is to have her let me know she’s safe. She has a history of cheating on partners while I don’t. So I don’t know if that where this is coming from. But is this really an issue? Is me hugging my best friend problematic? | AITA for letting a female jump into my arms in front of my gf? | NTA |
10z1mur | Hi everyone, recently I was able to receive two job offers. One is a government job and the other is for a counseling service. After making taking a few days to make my decision, I decided to go with the counseling job because it fits more align to what I wanted to do. As a result, my family was upset with me that I did not go for the government job. This was worse since my mother (who is a beautician) really relies on her clients to help out with my job search. One of them was a lady that really guide me and referred me into applying for government jobs because of the benefits and pay that the government gives to the employees. AITA for choosing what I love to do over money and security? | AITA for choosing another career path than what other people want? | NTA |
10z1d9t | I was in college and had a group of 3 friends, Anna(me), Bella and Cinderella. One more classmate Debby, was an introvert, overly sensitive and entitled girl.normally ABC do everything together because,they lived in the same dorm. When we went out for anything, three of us would go together and Debby never cared about it until one day. During a Christmas trip, we planned to go out without Debby because Bella had some conflicts with her she told us Debby shows up, she won't. Fast forward when we posted photos of the trip, Debby bombarded me,only me with texts and voice messages asking why we didn't invite her and if we were enjoying without her. When I went back, everyone asked why I made Debby cry. I felt like a boyfriend cheating with 2 other girls, all imaginary. Apparently she was crying Infront of all classmates even professors involved. The protagonist, Debby was getting a lot of attention along with us, I guess she was happy but we were criticized as hell for not caring about her.She apologized, but Bella and Cinderella were still pissed at her. Despite this, they still don't like her and she tries to be in contact with them. Recently, a memory of the Christmas thing came up and we were reminded of all the other instances where we had to deal with her especially me since for some reason she always targeted me. They were wondering if we should cut off the relationship, but we need someone's opinion who is not involved in this. When this happened I,Anna was 22, Bella was 27, Cinderella was 25 and Debby was 28. So in case anyone wondering why no body liked her behaving childishly. | AITA for leaving 1 friend to hang out with other 2? | NAH |
10z2e0e | Y’all IK I’m TA for asking him out but am I wrong for tell B after I wasn’t paid?My best friend offered me $20 to ask this boy , B, to our winter dance. I did but didn’t put much effort into convincing him to go with me because I didn’t actually want to go, and he said no (thank god). My friend refused to pay me, ig she wanted us to date and got mad when it didn’t work, so yesterday I told her to either pay me or I’d tel B that I had been paid to do it. My best friend and B have been friends for 8 years.Long story short, she refused to pay me, so I told B and he wasent mad at me surprisingly. We just carried on after and talked about schoolwork and stuff, but B was really mad and my best friend. He removed her from snap and isnt talking to her, my bestie blames me and says it’s all my fault. AITA? (Ik it was an asshole move to ask him out for the money, but am I wrong for telling him I was paid and ruining a friendship?) | AITA for telling a boy that I was paid to ask him out? | ESH |
10z7vuq | Hello Reddit, long time no see. You helped me last time so I’m back again.I (mid 20’s F) lost my best friend a little over a year ago. Since then, I adopted a senior dog from the shelter named Benton. He’s a almost 9yo German Shepard. He was an owner surrender and is dog reactive.Anyways, this happened yesterday morning. The town I live in has a pretty nice dog park. It has a big yard for groups of dogs and smaller pens for individual pets. I typically bring him on Mondays and Thursdays in the morning as it’s the most empty then.I would say 9/10 times it’s empty or at least one individual pen is available. However, yesterday the two individual pens were occupied but the big yard was open. Benton wears a harness with ‘REACTIVE’ clearly visible. Since the large pen was empty, I unleashed him and started throwing his ball for him to chase. I would say about 20 minutes later a woman 20-30s was bringing her dog to the entrance of the pen where I was sitting. At that point, I let her know that my dog was reactive and asked if she would wait a couple minutes so I could get him leashed up and out the other gate. This is when things got confusing. The woman started to -not yell but not talk politely either- say that I shouldn’t bring an aggressive dog to a dog park. I was just trying to deescalate and let her know that I was getting my dog as fast as possible and that she would have the large pen shortly.She huffed and walked a few feet away. I got Benton and we left but I could hear her call me a B**** when we walked past.Anyways, AITA? | AITA for bringing my reactive dog to a dog park? | YTA |
10zbm20 | I (23M) know I am only doing wrong on myself for asking someone to basically rewrite my papers, but I have a lot on my plate and I might be an AH.I have been friends with Emma (21F) for a few years, she has always been generous and caring, and she likes me, at least that's what I think. If I ask her for help she is usually at my beck and call. She's an A student in university, she is studying English, and writes essays and papers very very last minute and still manages to get A+'s. I wish I had the talent that she does, but I was not blessed with that sort of gift. Even when I put in all the time and effort in the world I still manage to get a C at best, and from a college student, that's a pretty bad mark.So for the past two years, I have been asking Emma to rewrite my essays and discussion board posts for me. She takes them under her belt and gets it done really fast, and my English grades have gone up significantly because of her.But the past few times I have been feeling...Icky. Like I'm taking advantage of her and the way she feels about me. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I am the AH because of me asking this of her, but I would like to get others' opinions.AITA? | AITA for asking my friend to edit my papers and rewrite my assignments for me. | YTA |
10z96pk | My gf (28F) and I (32M) have been living together for 4 years now.She works from home since covid most of the time but sometimes does go into the office, I go to my office every day.My girlfriend has always done our laundry together and never had a problem with it for all these years. Since she works from home, she takes care of a lot of the house work but I do help out, where I can when I get back from work although she often refuses my offers with reasons like I should wash my hands better, I do wash my hands though.Lately she has started separating my undergarments and vests from the laundry pile and not washing them when she had no trouble doing that in the past. She that my undergarments with contaminate her clothes and wants me to do them myself in a separate load. Yet she still washes hers in the same load. I suggested we do all our undergarments in a different load and she said no because hers are cleaner and that would be worse.She got pretty mad and made some nasty comments about my hygiene saying I should keep myself cleaner in my privates, not soil myself (I do not) and learn how to wash my hands. I do shower and I do wash my hands but maybe it is natural that men smell more idk.I am getting pretty annoyed at being treated like I am disgusting when I am not,, I lived with my mom before her who did my laundry and never said my boxers were dirty. I said if she keeps doing this, I will stop buying the groceries she keeps telling me to bring on my commute from work and she can do that herself.Edit: Ok point taken I will take her advice about hygiene and shave / wax down there and see a doctor in case I have some condition. And apologize to her | AITA for asking my girlfriend to continue doing my laundry if she wants me to buy groceries. | YTA |
10zbrga | I (30)F have been married to my husband who is also 30 for 5 years and been together for 8.My husband became interested in motorcycles about 3 years ago.It is something I have never liked as I feel motorcycles are very dangerous .He bought one against my wishes which was fair enough because he is an adult and it would be unfair for him to ditch his hobby because of someone else but he knows I do not like it and will never go on it.We are trying for a family and I told my husband he may need to stop riding because I was not willing to become a widow and support our children by myself if he had an accident or died. It was a bit better right now since there were no children involved but I am totally against him continuing to ride the motorbike if there are other people to consider which would be the children.He was not very happy with this and said if he ever died while riding his motorcycle I should just know that he had died doing something that he loves.I am unwilling to accept this and do not know what is going to happen once the children arrive.I am just checking to see if I am the AITA and just accept that he rides a bike and not ask him to stop or cut down once we grow our family. | AITA for telling my husband he may need to reconsider riding a motorcycle once our first child is born | NTA |
10z6rua | Background:My husband (35m) and I (34f) bought our house in a small town almost 2 years ago and have an extra guest room in the basement. My husband has been mostly estranged from his family for most of his adult life and rightfully so I have learned because they expect him to solve all their problems and blame him for all their fights. He got out of a bad situation and made a better life for himself. He would like to give his niece a chance at a better life too, which I am all for except she shows no signs of ever doing anything with her life.My niece (husband's brother's kid) is 20. Her dad kicked her out at 14 and she has been living with her grandma ever since. Grandma's health is declining and she can no longer support her. A couple months ago they let her internet boyfriend move in with them, neither of them had ever met him irl, which is a major red flag to me. They all currently live with my husband's other brother in a different state. Current situation:The brother they live with and his gf and moving next month and have told his mom that because of her health conditions she can move with them and they will help her, however "the kids" as we call them are not welcome to move with them. Until a few days ago apparently my niece thought her uncle and his gf would move out and her grandma would stay and just magically cover all the rent 2k+ a month so her and her bf could continue free loading off her at their current residence. She also is so entitled she says its not fair people think she should take care of her gradma because that's not what she wants, but she still thinks she should live with grandma rent free. Neither of them have jobs, the boyfriend gets a small government check every month which he uses as an excuse to not work or he will lose his benifits. He is 18 and both physically and mentally capable of working. Now they will both be homeless in about 3 weeks unless we take them in and move them 1000 miles and across multiple states and let them live in our basement. The thing is she has been saying she will get a job for 2 years since she finished hs and never has, they have no money (like not 2 pennys to rub together) and no plan. Last night they finally called my husband realizing he is their only option. Neither of them have ever held a job or payed rent/bills. They have no money to move and neither of them drive. They can't even afford a bus ticket let alone pay to move their posessions. We live in a small town in the middle of nowhere where driving is required if you ever want to leave the 3 square mile town. Apparently they both have too much anxiety about driving and from what I can tell have no intention of learning. They say they will get jobs but I don't believe them. They are being completely entitled and selfish and after not talking to us for almost a year are now begging to move into our house. I'm ready to let them be homeless and learn a hard lesson. I already told my husband I am not running a homeless shelter. So WIBTA? | WIBTA if I refused to let my niece and her bf move into my and my husband's house and instead let them become homeless? | NTA |
10z7w4l | I (15M) have two sisters: Emily (17F) and Leah (9F). Me and Emily’s parents adopted Leah almost two years ago. Since she has joined our family, I have taken the role of big brother very seriously. She is genuinely the sweetest kid.Emily, though, absolutely despises Leah. She’s hated Leah since our parents told us about her and has gotten much worse at hiding it recently. She was our parents’ princess and I have no doubt that she sees Leah as a threat to her title. Our parents, however, think she’s the most perfect doting older sister. The amount of times she’s asked our parents for money to take Leah to the arcade or something, only to end up getting herself a pedicure. Or the way that she conveniently forgot Leah was allergic to seafood before serving her eat shrimp alfredo. I’ve tried to tell my parents what I’ve seen and what Leah’s told me, only to be told flat out that they don’t believe me. Until recently.On Wednesday night though, I finally got fed up. My parents were out for a business dinner and me and Leah were watching some talent show in the living room until Emily came down and scolded me for “hanging out with the charity case.” Leah started crying. I started an audio recording. She went on calling Leah a crybaby and a dirty attention seeker. I told her to stop projecting on my little sister. She lost it and called both of us every name in the book while I gave Leah my airpods so she couldn’t hear anything. After a solid 5 minutes I turned off the recording and told Emily to shut the hell up. I brought her into the kitchen and called her pathetic and that I’d choose Leah over her in a heartbeat and she stomped away in a huff.When my parents got home, I showed them the video. They were devastated and enraged and blindsided. They apologized to me for not believing me and had a serious talk with Leah about coming to them if something bothered her. And, for once, Emily did not get away with her actions.She had to deal with a serious “I still love you but I am so so disappointed in you” speech from my parents and is practically on house arrest until summer starts. She has to start weekly therapy so she can deal with her emotions better. She’s no longer getting the new car she wanted for her birthday. She can’t go to her senior trip to New York that she was excited for. All of her electronics were taken away except for her school laptop and flip phone. She’s not allowed on any family outings unless both me and my little sister agree to it. She’s not allowed to talk to my little sister or me alone unless we let her. And if she retaliates against me or Leah she gets part of her inheritance taken away.Most of my brain is crying out that justice has finally been served but a very itty bitty part of my brain (and a lot of me and my sister’s mutual friends and cousins) is saying that it’s too much. | AITA for protecting my little sister? | NTA |
10zcvj4 | I work in the finance department of my company. A couple of people in my company went across the country on a business trip. They get a per diem for meals, but there are certain rules to being reimbursed (the meal could only be for one person, so each person has to have their own receipt; no alcohol). One woman submitted a receipt for a late dinner at a pizza place, where the receipt had 2 xl pizzas, 2 orders of wings, and 2 desserts. It was under the per diem, but obviously that amount of food would be expected to feed more than one person. But when I asked her how many other people were included in that meal, she insisted it was only her. I really don't believe her. That's a really ridiculous amount of food for one person for one meal. I asked her several times, and she seemed to get really annoyed. I'm not even really sure the higher ups would approve of her expensing that meal because it's pretty clear multiple people were included, which goes against company policy. She's still adamant it was just her and seems to be getting really defensive and upset that I'm reluctant to send it off to be processed. Aita? | AITA for repeatedly asking an employee to verify that the food she is expensing was only for herself? | YTA |
10zcn93 | I’m a 19 year old female and I have two tattoos (one matching with my stepmom and the other I got as a present.) My ten year old stepbrother is autistic (so am I but he is on a more extreme level aka nonverbal etc) and almost everyone in my family has a tattoo of puzzle pieces (symbol for autism) and it has his name on it. My step mom wants me to get the tattoo however I do not want it on my body.First off it takes up most of your forearm and i have only a few tattoos that I want to get on my body. All the tattoos I want are personal to me and I have come up with the designs and ideas on my own and it’s just not something I want on me. Everytime my stepmom asks me i try to advising the question but she keeps pestering me and trying to get me to get it. I DONT want to hurt her feelings but I just don’t want it there. What do you guys think? | AITA for not wanting to get a tattoo for my autistic stepbrother? | NTA |
10ze4n1 | Couple nights ago I was out with my girlfriend and other friends. There’s a guy my girlfriend and her friends know but I barley know him. Actually I don’t know him at all and he’s never been very nice to me. Always standoffish and unfriendly.I was pretty drunk and at some point this guy came up to my girlfriend and put his arm around her right in front of me. At first I tried to ignore but it annoyed me so I removed his arm and said “don’t do that it’s weird” and that was it. Went back to talking to some other people. My girlfriend and her friends think I was a really big jerk for this. I tell them it’s a respect thing. That I would never put my hands on another girl especially when her boyfriend is someone I’m not friends with. They keep saying I’m a pig and she’s not my object. But I wasn’t trying to fight him or even care if their friends. It just made me uncomfortable and I had to say something. AITA? | AITA for not liking other guys putting hands on my girlfriend? | YTA |
10zdixs | I live in a small 2-story apartment complex, two buildings with about 20 units each, each building shares 1 parking lot. My 4 year old son is special needs and is at a special needs preschool that sends a bus to pick him up and drop him off every weekday at 7:15am and 3:15pm. How it works is basically the driver pulls up to the side of the parking lot closest to my unit (I’m on first floor), the driver honks the horn a few times, and I run outside with my son out of our sliding back door and get him on the bus. In the afternoon, same deal I wait till I hear the honk and I run outside and get him off the bus. Once or twice the driver has had to honk a second time because we weren’t ready at exactly 7:15. Also want to note we live in the Midwest and it’s freezing cold most mornings so it’s not an option to wait outside.We’ve gotten two notes on our front door complaining about the honking, and then today a neighbor said “that’s been your fault this whole time? I’ve been wondering who’s behind the honking “ as he was walking by me this morning. I don’t see anything wrong with this system. My son is autistic and needs this special bus, and we’re not breaking any noise violations. I don’t see what is unreasonable about this system we have set up but we’ve had multiple complaints. My wife thinks we should ask the driver to stop honking and I have no intention of doing this. Our son is disabled and we are perfectly within our rights to get him to school as we see fit. A few honks twice a day isn’t going to hurt anyone. She is embarrassed about the complaints and thinks we should do something differently however, so I want to hear other points of view. So AITA? | AITA for not stopping my child’s bus driver from honking at pick up and drop off? | YTA |
10zfmnk | I (f25) have a daughter ( f8) that’s in the second grade and was recently invited to sleepover by a classmate.. my daughter handed me the invitation from her classmate that we will call her lily and I was on board for her to go..but my daughter told me she’s sad because she can’t tell her best friend she’s going because she’s not invited, I then just try to reinsure her that maybe it isn’t enough space..then my daughter corrected me and said “ no lily told me she couldn’t come because she isn’t like us”. For context my daughter’s best friend is African American…so when she said that I felt like their is maybe an undertone there. So I followed up with my daughter with her class photo and I told her to point to all the girls that were invited and wouldn’t you know it…they were all white. So to further investigate my notions I decided to look up lily’s parents FB and I seen quite a few problematic post. So to me the decision became final my daughter wasn’t going. I decided to call my friend who was also parent and I asked her did her daughter get invited to lily’s birthday and she told me no. Which I already assumed she didn’t because she is Arabic.I told her everything i discovered and we came up with a plan to have a party the same exact day but to great wolf lodge and we invited everyone in the class. Of course lily’s mom found out and she Facebook messaged me and she asked if I can move the party since 2 of the girls who were originally going to lily’s told them they couldn’t make it but instead their coming to our party. I then came up with a lie that I can’t move it and it’s non- refundable. I’m starting to feel bad because I never want to ruin a child’s birthday party so should I just cancel it or should I continue to make my point. Some parents from other classes think I’m asshole for this. So I’m asking you guys AITA?Edit: their are 13 girls in my daughters class, 8 of these girls are white ( including my daughter) the other 5 are POC that was NOT invited. so don’t come in saying I’m over reacting when I evidence is clear as day. And also don’t come in and say “ well lily might just of been close with those 8 girls” I can’t speak for those other girls but my daughter never told me about lily until this party fiasco and she never hung with her outside of school. Also I wouldn’t of been doing all of this if my friend ( the one I’m planning it with who’s arabic) wasn’t upset…I presented her with the information and she was pissed and hurt about everything I said to her. So yes I will be an asshole for this.(also let me add I feel like it isn’t my place to determine if something is racist or not because me and my daughter are as like white as they come and I’m still having trouble to how I tell her about this.. but I just feel like this situation left a really bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my daughter in the car of someone with such prejudice views plus my daughter never hangs with lily and this would of been her first time hanging out outside of school .) | AITA for organizing a sleepover for my daughter on the same exact day as another kids sleepover in her class? | NTA |
10zegju | I35f live with my husband35 and our 2 children Madison14, Katie11. My sister Amanda29 also lives with us. We have an agreement, she doesn’t have to pay rent, but help with groceries and watch the girls when needed or get them to or from school. Our daughter Madison is a lot of work. She skips school, and sneaks out. I’ve found vapes in her bedroom, and weed pens. Amanda was very similar to Madison At this age.Our dog had gotten out a few days ago, so I was replaying our outdoor video cameras to see if he came back for the food I left out in the middle of the night. Instead I see Amanda leaving then pulling up again around 45 minutes later at 3 am. She then gets out of her car, goes around to the passenger side and pulls out Madison, who is literally stumbling, Amanda’s practically carrying her in. You could tell she was drunk. I was so mad, I went straight to Amanda’s room and asked her what the hell that was.She then admitted to me that Madison had called her really drunk, she had snuck out. She then told me that Madison begged her not to tell us. I was so livid, Madison was home that day from school because she was puking, I thought she caught a bug when she was just super hung over. I started yelling that she couldn’t keep things like that from us, and that Madison is 14 and we should’ve been notified immediately. I told her she betrayed my trust. Amanda just quietly apologized. I left the room and a few minutes later I could hear her crying. Madison is now grounded, and refuses to talk to Amanda for “ratting her out,” and Amanda been mostly in her room. My husband told me earlier that Amanda was talking to him about how guilty she feels for upsetting me so badly. He said she seemed really upset. I feel bad because it’s days later and she’s still upset, but she has to know she can’t do those things.Info: before my sister moved in my daughter has called me many times to pick her up in the middle of the night. She knows she can call me. I’m quiet when I pick her up, there’s no yelling or arguing. But she does have consequences the next day. In this situation she was trying to avoid her consequences the next day. | AITA for screaming at my sister for keeping secrets about my kid from me | YTA |
10z8cht | I (18F) am in University and I have a job. During high school when i was working, i gave my mom half my paycheques to save for my future. Anyways, gas prices are really high right now and I asked for my savings just in case i needed gas because it is very expensive. She got mad at me and told me i couldn’t have them. i didn’t say anything about it because i didn’t want to start an argument but i feel like i have to right to ask for my money because i earned it myself. i feel bad because i know she’s doing it for me but i would really like the extra money in case of emergency. So AITA for asking for my money?EDIT:Im adding this because a lot of people think she spent it. I saw it in the account 3 days ago. She’s being like this because both my older brothers had spending addictions and she doesn’t want me to end up like them. She would never take my money and I love her. | AITA for asking my mom for my savings? | NTA |
10z8g9d | I (28M) have a wife (married for 2 years), Marie (38F). Marie has a son, Sam (17M). His father is not part of his life.I met Marie when I was 23 and we started dating shortly after.When I met Sam, he was 13 and he was pretty clear that he would never see me as a father figure ( which was ok. I had both a step-father and a step-mother and didn't like either of them, so I know what's like.).He was initially quite hostile but I tried to be patient and supportive and he slowly opened up to me. We came to an agreement: instead of trying to be a "father figure", I would be more like the "cool uncle". I would teach him things, help him when he needed and be his confidant if he ever wanted to share his thought. I promised him that, as long as what he told me wasn't life threatening or illegal, I would keep it a secret even from Marie if he wanted. I never broke this promise, no matter what he told me.Marie and Sam have a great bond. She is an awesome mom and Sam love her and they spend a lot of time together ( to give the idea, imagine Gilmore Girl if Rory was a boy. )A couple of months ago, I and Marie went on a two days long vacation for our fifth anniversary. We wanted to take Sam with us but he insisted to stay at home and that he would be fine being alone for one night.The vacation was amazing but when we got back, Sam was clearly in a bad mood. Marie tried to talk to him, but got nothing.I asked Sam if he wanted to talk to me about something and after a couple of hours he opened up and shared his thoughts with me ( it was nothing serious, classic teenager problems).The next day Sam was in a good mood and I told Marie that I talked to him and gave him some advice.She was initially happy but I saw she became a bit gloomy later.I asked her what was wrong and she explained that while she is happy the problem was solved, she felt a bit sad that his son wasn't comfortable sharing his thoughts with her.I tried to explain to her that it was normal: Sam is at that age where kids are rebellious. He is trying to become independent and to not rely on his parents to solve his problems. She understood but said that sometimes she feels that since the moment I arrived, Sam started to rely more on me than on her and that there was a period when Sam had no secret with her, while now I probably know more about his personal life than her.In the following weeks, I tried to solve the situation. When Sam asked me for advice, I sometime suggested him to ask his mother too. He initially did and Marie gave him some good advices but thing didn't last and he came back to me. I see that my wife is sad that his son won't rely on her and I feel guilty. Did I steal my wife's spot as Sam's confidant? AITA? | AITA for becoming my stepson's confidant and "stealing" my wife's spot? | NTA |
10zab9i | I 42m have been with my wife 39m for 18 years. We have 3 children together Nya16, Alex12, and Jesse9. Nya is to say the least obese. She’s 5 ft and between 215-225lb. Alex and Jesse make fun of her, despite our punishments for it. Kids at school make fun of her. We have brought this up to the school, but they do nothing. We have actually requested her to an alternative then gym class because the girls in the locker rooms would take pictures or gang up on her. My wife and I are healthy people, and I go to the gym several times a week. We make healthy dinners, and try to buy healthy snacks, but Nya needs more then that. I love my daughter, I think she is beautiful no matter what but I worry for her health. She called me crying the other day begging me to pick her up early from school, she told her friend she had a crush on this guy and today he asked her out. She said yes and then all his friends came out laughing and it was just a prank and they made pig noises at her. I felt terrible and was so furious. I picked her up and on the way home I was trying to make her feel better, and I suggested maybe we should work on some weight loss. I offered to take her to the gym with me after school, and that we could run together in the mornings before school. That it could be a safe place and we could work on it together. I really didn’t mean anything mean about it, I was just trying to be helpful. I even thought about what to say before saying it, so I didn’t upset her. She got really quiet and didn’t talk the rest of the way home. When we got home my wife went in to see her and came out angry at me. She accused me of fat shaming our daughter, and that Nya was in there crying. I wanted to go in there and comfort her and apologize but my wife said that would make matters worse and she’s humiliated. We’ve let Nya stay home the past few days and picked up her school work from school. I’ve tried talking to Nya a little but she’s been pretty quiet towards me. I feel horrible and really think maybe I shouldn’t of suggested it or worded things differently. AITA | AITA for talking to my daughter about losing weight? | YTA |
10z5x20 | Background knowledge: My dad is an Afro-Latino man my mom is a latina with lighter skinToday I was in class and we were talking about Afro-Latinos and my teacher said we were going to be talking about an Afro-Latino person so we began talking about Celia Cruz. My friend told me I thought it was going to be you which I said no to because I don’t share my ethnic background with people much so how would they know. My teacher stops us and she asks my friend who she thought it was going to be, she says my name and she asks me why I say “Well my dad is black and he’s of Hispanic-Latino heritage” and she says so how does that make you afro latina I say because he’s my dad and i have most of the features of his side appearance wise. She says no you’re not afro latina just because your dad is and you don’t look like one. This has been bothering me all day btw. So WIBTA? Or is one of us in the wrong? | WIBTA if I contradicted my teacher about my cultural roots? | NTA |
10z7yeh | Well, here we go again. More bs sister drama. Anyway's, recently I saw a movie by myself as I got a cinema pass for Christmas from my aunt. For those who don't know what it is, it's a cinema membership that let's you see movies for free as many times as you like any day.Anyway's, I saw the new Puss In Boots film last week and I planned to see it again on Thursday with a friend from college. On Tuesday though, I had booked my ticket on my laptop in my room and my sister came in and saw. She was of course visiting my mum just talking whatever bs that came out her mouth. So she questioned what I was doing and I told her I was booking my ticket to see a film. She saw the film I had chosen and immediately went: "Oh, you're seeing Puss In Boots 2? i think (niece) would love to see that! You should take her." Now, 3 things on why I refused. The first excuse is gonna sound lame or stupid but it's from what I was told by another friend:1. My other friend took his little brother to see it and he wouldn't stop crying seeing the Wolf character within the film so I don't want that to happen. 2. She's nearly 2 years old. She's not gonna understand it, pay attention or remember it.3. If my niece really wanted to see it, why doesn't my sister take her instead?I had listened to all the past posts and stood firmly with my decision this time. I specifically pointed out that at my niece's age, she won't be paying attention. It was honestly a ridiculous idea. Of course as expected, my sister went off on one, calling me every name in the book as she could and accuses of "pushing away your niece". I just don't understand how my sister can't see the logic in my reasons and just attacks me when she can't accept she's wrong. This is all just pathetic now.So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for refusing to take my niece to the cinema? | NTA |
10za39x | I’m 14 and in 8th grade. I have a bully named Bella (also 14 I think) who is constantly bothering me. I’ll just be minding my own business and then Bella will start insulting my clothes/appearance. She also calls me a sped and other ableist words because I have hearing problems and have to sit in the front.I tell my school therapist Mrs. Ramos about Bella’s bullying. Mrs. Ramos says she has sent Bella to be spoken to by the principal and other counselor, but it’s not really effective. Whenever I try to tell one of the teachers, Bella’s friends will back her up and call me the liar, so the teachers just tell everyone to focus and won’t do anything else.I was venting about Bella to my sister Nikki. Nikki explained that she tutored Bella’s brother when he was a freshman and she was a senior, and that Bella’s father died when she was in 4th grade. Nikki said it wasn’t an excuse for Bella’s bullying, but wanted me to know that Bella’s bullying is because of her own personal issues and not my fault.Bella was bullying me two weeks ago during recess again. I was really pissed off, but I also felt bad for her since I now knew about her father being dead, so I told her “You know what Bella? I am very sorry about your father. I know it wasn’t fair to you.” The teacher came back and started class before Bella could say anything back, but I noticed her friends whispering to her during class.People are still spreading rumors about Bella. Things like Bella being an affair child or her father leaving because she was a bad kid. I’m not sure why Bella hasn’t just explained that he died. It’s not as if it’s embarrassing or something she needs to keep a secret.I said what I did to Bella to show her that I understand her life isn’t perfect either and that she also has issues. My friends also agreed that it was more mature than insulting Bella back. Nikki just said that the school should have had Bella visit the other counselor more in the first place.My other sister Janelle told me that the rumors aren’t directly my fault. But that I did add fuel to the fire because I know middle schoolers will start rumors/drama over anything and since Bella’s going to a different high school, it would have been better to just wait out the situation with her.Nikki’s boyfriend and his siblings came over to visit and his younger siblings both told called me a terrible person for bringing up Bella’s dead father at all. Because they personally know how traumatic it is to not have a father (their father isn’t dead, their parents divorced) and that Bella’s father dying is probably the reason she’s acting out.I understand that and feel bad for Bella. But it still isn’t an excuse for her bullying. And I don’t have any control over the rumors being spread about Bella. But are Janelle and Nikki’s boyfriend’s siblings right that I should have just waited until graduation and that I crossed a line? | AITA For revealing that my bully doesn’t have a father in front of her friends, which has caused rumors to be spread about her at school? | NTA |
10zc3kf | Long time lurker, first time posterI (33f) and my husband (35m) have always split our chores. I do most of the house work: sweep, mop, laundry, and basic tidying up; while he does dishes and yard work. We both cook, but I cook majority of the nights because I'm home 2 hours before him and I like to have it ready for him when he gets home. We also have a 2yo daughter, he gets her ready in the morning and does drop off, and I get her ready for bed and pack her bag for the next day. For 6 years we had the same work schedule (both teachers) and our cleaning routine worked out for us. I would be cleaning in one part of the house and he would be doing dishes or out in the yard. Last year he decided he couldn't handle being a teacher anymore and quit. His new job requires him to work 9am - 6pm (he has a commute so he's gone 8-6:45) and his days off are split and not during the weekend. I spend both of my days off cleaning and taking care of our child every week. I will regularly come home on his days off and the dishes will either be partially done or not done at all and the living room will be destroyed - toys, baby clothes, paper scattered about, food on the floor, etc. Our child will still be in PJs and he will be killing zombies. He will always tell me "I ran out of hot water", "I can't get anything done unless she's napping", "I was busy this morning". Ok, what about the other 7 hours I was at work? When I ask him to clean up the mess in the living room he will throw a fit because that's my job. I don't feel like it's my job to clean up after a grown ass man. It all came to a head today because he told me all I do is tell him how he's a piece of shit. I told him I've never called him that, but if me asking you to clean up after yourself and to do your chores makes you feel like a POS that's on you. So reddit AITA? | AITA for not wanting to do "my chore"? | NTA |
10zfvic | I'm currently 19(F) and I don't know how to drive at all, I've never been in the drivers seat and I've never been in a car much at all, unless it's a taxi.I live with my disabled mother and younger sister who don't know how to drive. My dad, who lives with his wife and children, doesn't know how to drive either. So whenever I need to go somewhere I use public transport.Thing is, I'm extremely scared of driving. Even the thought of it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Even if I did manage to get over my fear, I'm also worried that when I'm in control of the steering wheel, I might get the urge to swerve and I don't ever want to hurt somebody.I'm on the autistic spectrum so I'm not sure if there's some kind of link. Also, I'd be expected to pay for all the driving lessons and whatever else and I don't want to part with that amount of money. The AiTA part is that my mother has many hospital doctor appointments. I take her to these and I also do all the grocery shopping, by going on the bus. My mums sisters (who also don't know how to drive lol) are complaing that I'm an adult and should learn how to drive so I could take my mother to the hospital more easier and it'd be more convenient for me regarding shopping, when I go to uni etc they also mention frequently how in America, 16 year olds can drive and yet I'm almost 20.I understand their point but driving lessons are expensive, buying and owning a car is expensive. I'm extremely scared of driving, and this fear isn't something that I'll get over. But my aunts keep hounding me, saying that I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking about my mum or the household. And that I'll soon get over my fear.I'm wondering if I am being selfish and should just get over my fear and learn. | AITA for not learning how to drive? | NTA |
10zaqqj | Background: I (25m) have been married to my husband for one year now. He was born in Ethiopia and her family moved here when she was 17. My family, excluding my father (47m) and I, is very religious and sticks to what they call “old values” and disapproved of the fact that I was not only marrying a man, but also a black man. They kept most of their comments to themselves, however, and the ones who didn’t weren’t invited, which caused a bit of an argument in the family, but they decided they didn’t even want to go.My second cousin, who I lived next door to during my childhood and was good friends with, tells me (only about a month before the wedding) he is getting married. I was also told I would simply be staying at my aunt and uncle’s home for the 4 days, which made quite reluctant to go. My husband was actually the one who encouraged me to go, and we booked the flight to Birmingham. For some more information, my aunt and uncle live in a fairly large house that is technically owned by my dad, who is renting the home to them at a discounted price. When we get there, we’re informed that my husband can take the couch, and I will sleep in the same room as my oldest cousin. I asked why, and they said that they wouldn’t allow their own rules to be violated in their own home by letting me and my husband sleep in the same room. I then said we would get a hotel room and then they got all pissy and went off about how they wouldn’t all an act of the devil in their home (I believe they were implying me and my husband would have sex if we had our own room, even though we wouldn’t). My husband got upset, so we decided to go to the nearest hotel. When my father found out, he was absolutely pissed, and told my aunt and uncle that they had a month until they had to move out. This is when the whole family got pissed, and started rolling out the racial, homophobic, and xenophobic slurs. They called us sinners and that they were kind enough to ignore it at first, but now they were being punished for their kindness streak breaking. The part that I mainly feel bad about is that other members of the family are being attacked as well for supporting us, and my aunt and uncle have a 9 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I feel like they shouldn’t be punished for their asshole parent’s actions. So now I have this nagging feeling that I overreacted, which is also there because a “friend” told me I shouldn’t have reacted that way.My dad however told me that they fucked around and found out. I still feel a bit guilty however. Am I the asshole for getting my aunt, uncle, and young cousins evicted? | AITA for getting my aunt and uncle evicted? | NTA |
10zf02d | I’ve been with my boyfriend for 13 years. He has always had some sort of excuse for why he doesn’t want to get married. The first 3 years it was statistics of divorce and his own parents failed marriage. I understood that and pushed it out of my head and just enjoyed the time together. The next few years it was my debt and him feeling like I would be a financial burden, I changed that in hopes of winning his approval. After I was debt free and stable in my career for 3 years it was the pointless symbolism and ties to Christianity that he was against. It started to really bother me because I tried really hard to be good enough and then he’d think up a new reason why it wasn’t a good idea. All the while assuring me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Couldn’t I tell by the way he tolerated me?! So I started to just cope with the fact it wasn’t gonna happen, no matter how much it meant to me. I do have times still where I can’t keep how much it hurts to not be chosen like that and the hurtful excuses he came up with in the past come bubbling up and I cry about it. Marriage is important to me because I come from a half sibling family and I was the other. The child from a previous marriage. My bio dad died and his family wasn’t around so I didn’t have anyone with my same last name to belong to. It sounds silly but the heart wants to belong. I love my boyfriend so much and I’ve known I’ve wanted to marry him for many years. I’ve had other boyfriends so I know it’s not desperation but real love and admiration. This past year after a particularly ugly crying episode he decided he wants to marry me to “make me happy” That felt like a slap in the face. It feels like a cookie to get a tantruming child to be quiet. Am I the asshole for only wanting to marry someone who WANTS to marry me rather than only doing so to make me happy? | AITA for needing a better reason to get married than to make you happy? | NTA |
10zaqas | My sister (32F) is getting married this summer, and she asked me (27AFAB) to be her one and only bridesmaid. We have a good relationship, so initially I was excited. But my mood soured once it came time to pick my outfit.I asked if I could wear a jumpsuit instead of a dress, since I feel more comfortable wearing pants. She said no, without giving a reason. I was disappointed, but I was hopeful that I could find a dress I would like. And I did. I found a dress that I *love* more than I could have anticipated. It met all of her requirements (for colour, length, price, etc.) and I assumed she would approve. I was wrong. She said I was not allowed to wear it, again without giving a reason.She ended up picking a dress that I fucking hate. The bust is unflattering and makes me look heavier than I am. And half my back is exposed, which makes me super uncomfortable. I don’t like to expose much skin, since I *hate* being touched. I am terrified that someone is going to end up touching my back while we are posing for photos, and I cry every time I think about it.Even more than the dress itself, I am upset about the fact that my sister dismissed my feelings. It feels like she does not care whether I am comfortable at her wedding. While I made it clear that I hated the dress before it was purchased, I have been careful not to talk about it since then because I am not looking to make her feel bad. Instead I have tried talking about it with our parents, but they are dismissing my feelings too. They keep telling me that it is “her day” and that I have no reason to be upset, which makes me feel like an asshole.AITA? | AITA for being upset about the bridesmaid dress that was chosen for me? | NTA |
10zei6w | For some background info me(18M) and my girlfriend(19F) have been dating for a bit over 3 years now. We have a long distance relationship and see each other around 4 times each year. As a result of this we tend to spend our time together FaceTiming,playing games and watching shows together most days. Tonight we had planned to call for a bit, as we each had busy days and wanted to spend time with one another. We planned to call after her workout. The idea was that she would text when she was done her workout, and then grab some food and give me a call. At 7 she finished her workout and then went to grab some food so we expected to call around 8. 8pm rolls around and she’s not responding. At 8:30 she responds and let’s me know she just took the trash out but she’ll call in a couple minutes. 30 minutes later and there is no call or text. Same thing after 2 hours, and finally 3 hours. At some point around the 1 hour mark she texted that her and her roommate were talking a bit and didn’t give an indication when she’d be back. She finally messaged me around 11:30 and said she had a really nice long talk with her roommate.In my mind she blew me off for 3 hours to talk with a friend, when she could have texted at any point that she’d be a bit longer or have informed her friend we planned to hang out. This is not the first time she’s done this, and the other times it’s been similar situations however different lengths of time. This was the breaking point for me though. I told her that I was upset with her, we had a conversation over text that lasted about 15 minutes. I pretty much told her that I felt she wasn’t respecting me or my time, and that it was immature to blow someone off like this, especially cause it has not been the first time.In the end I told her that I need space for a few days. That this meant a lot to me and I’m sick of having the same conversation repetitively where she tells me that she’s going to try to be better at this and then there are no changes.So, AITA for reacting this way? Am I blowing things out of proportion or reacting fairly? Also how should I bring the next conversation up?TLDR; long-distance girlfriend blew me off to talk with her roommate for 3 hours. It’s not the first time she’s done this recently, so I’m pretty upset. I asked for space for a day or two. | AITA for being mad at my(18M) gf (19F) and asking for some space this weekend | NTA |
10zfb66 | To give some background, my friend and I have been friends since we were in high school. Then, as we got accepted to college, I went to the west-coast to pursue my degree and she stayed in our home-state to pursue a degree at the state college.While we tried to stay in contact, we quickly lost touch with each other and didn't talk with one another for just over a decade. During this period, we started our own lives, I got married & had 2 children with my lovely husband and she was living happily on the east-coast.Nevertheless, one day, she finds my number and calls me, says she is moving to the west-coast (specifically my city), and asks me if I would like to catch-up. I said of course and I invite her to my home. We have a great time and we start hanging out together more often. Then one day (maybe just under a month in), I was taking my daughter shopping and she came with us. On this trip, I see her in a skirt for the first time. Now, let me be clear, she had some tattoos on her arms, they are lovely and great. That being said, she had only one tattoo on her leg, one very specific tattoo: a black-spade with a Q on it. Now if you don't know, the tattoo basically represents that she has a fetish for black men.Now let me clarify, I am a black-woman and she is a white woman. I have been fighting the racial fetishization of black-skin my whole life. I did not expect that my friend would be the one so blatantly engaging in it. I was angry, very very angry, but we were in public so I said nothing.I went back home, and I tried to drop it but it just kept popping back into my head. Is that what she thought of me? Is my skin just some fashion statement for her? Is she friends with me because of it? Add to this the fact that I have a son. The anger kept building up and up and up. Then one morning, I invited her over and asked my husband to take our kids to the Gurdwara for the morning (a Sikh temple - my husband is a non-turbaned Indian Sikh man).I sat her down, and we had a talk. But, the more she talked, the more I realized that she was just out of her mind. I tried to explain to her why her tattoo was problematic, she just didn't even try to understand me. Eventually, I have had it up to my head. I just kick her out of my house and tell her to never come back.This all went down about a week ago, and I told my friends and, while most have backed me, some have said it wasn't my place to tell someone what they can and can't do with their body.With all this in mind, AITA?Edit:1. Just for some clarification, I do not have a problem with people having a particular preference. However, there is a difference between preference and fetishization. In one, you date someone due to maybe just being raised around a particular group of people, or maybe you just want to marry within your own culture or maybe it's just that, personally, you have found people of a certain race more attractive. This is different to racial fetishization, as racial fetishization reduces people down to just their race. The stereotypes of that race are what are attractive to you, not the individual. It is dehumanizing. An even better clarification is that in one, you would never disqualify dating someone due to their race (this is a preference). In a fetishization you would actively disqualify people as dating candidates due to their race. To give an example, you can have a preference for black-women. Maybe you just find them more attractive and that's great. But if you get "jungle-fever" tattooed on ur body, that's fetishization.2. I clarified, when we talked, that the tattoo wasn't for some other reason. It was, quite specifically, because she wanted to attract black men. | AITA for kicking my friend out of my house due to her tattoos? | NTA |
10zgea6 | I'm twenty. I know i can no longer constantly depend on my mother. however, I was diagnosed with cancer and desperately needed money for treatment. even though i promised her i would pay it back, she refused to help me out. today, I learned that she impulsively bought my 2 year old sister a ball pit that cost 250 dollars. she had also bought my nine year old brother a new iPhone and a PlayStation 5 while I was stuck in the hospital, paying my own hospital bills..am I an asshole for refusing to speak to her again, now that I've been cured and still need to pay off some things?? | AITA for no longer allowing my mom back in my life after she refused to help me pay for my chemo? | NTA |
10z5mdw | My wife (24F) and I (24M) have been together since 8th grade. I love this woman to death and she is honestly such a beautiful soul to spend life with if you leave her mother out of the picture. In 2020 we got married and purchased our first home shortly after. Everything was all downhill after that. My wife and her mother have always had a very "close" relationship, but in a very unhealthy way. My wife's father has been out of the picture since we were in elementary school and she's an only child too so I can understand how they may be closer than the average mother-daughter relationship, but theirs is taking it to a whole new level. For example, throughout our high school years they slept in the same bed despite having their own separate rooms and multiple beds. Red flag #1 that I blatantly missed.. Fast forward to now and these two can't seem to get enough of each other. Her mom doesn't have many friends and is constantly talking to my wife. Texts all day, multiple calls and FaceTimes per day, and this will happen even after they've spent all day together while I'm at work. I wish I were exaggerating the previous statement but sadly I'm not. You'd think that after a while they wouldn't have much to talk about. They have zero boundaries, and I'm sure my MIL knows anything and everything about my marriage. I can't even take a simple vacation with just my wife without my MIL being involved. Anytime I try and talk to my wife about this, she gets defensive and tells me I just don't understand their relationship and that I'm mad because my mom and I's relationship isn't good. My mom and I's relationship isn't best but I still love her to death and we both respect each other's private life. Regardless, I can't have a civil conversation about my concerns without my wife screaming at me. She's also pregnant with our first child so I'm sure it is only going to get worse from here. I love my wife and I love being married to her but recently its just too much. I married someone to start a new life with them. ONLY them. I'm afraid that in the future my MIL will only be more suffocating. I just don't know what else to do and I keep asking myself, AITA? | AITA for telling my wife to cut the umbilical cord from her mother? | NTA |
10zey2k | I (16F) have been friends with ‘Amelia’ (16F) for 5 years. We both live in South Korea. I’m Korean, she is white.My mom is from Washington and my dad is from Seoul so I spend every other summer in America and I speak English, but I’ve never actually lived in there. Because of this I’ve never really experienced racism as I am a POC living in my own country. I’ve had no bad experiences in America either, which I am lucky for.Amelia is white as I mentioned before and she has lived in Korea for a while because of her dads job. We both go to a foreign school taught in English. Lately she’s been talking more about the stares she gets in public. Whenever we hang out in public, I notice it from little kids and elders. But that is all I have seen. Based on what I know she doesn’t live differently from me. I don’t want to put myself in someone else’s shoes and act like I know anything so I usually ignore it and just say damn.Everything changed last night when I reposted something about the shootings against the Chinese people in California recently. And I spoke about how there needs to be more awareness around Asian-Americans and racism. She slid up and we started going back and forth- she says that nobody experiences racism in America and it’s ignorant to say that.To sum it up (the conversation was ridiculous), I said she has no right to “decide” whether racism is real or not. She told me she experiences it herself by living here. I was like what the fuck? She then goes on to explain how she’s always getting stared at, at the mall, on the train, in our town. I told her that being stared at is rude. And then I asked her to explain how else she has experienced racism and she didn’t really say anything. So I told her being stared at isn’t fucking racism and she needs to grow up.She blocked me, AITA? | AITA for telling me friend she hasn’t experienced racism | NTA |
10zed2h | Married my wife and her 3 girls 14 yrs ago. Bio dad has been non-existent. We have tried to be consistent with strict rules and discipline, but when it comes down to following through with punishment, the wife is soft.The twins are 18 and the youngest is about to turn 16. They are good kids. Empathetic and kind to others. No drugs or law breaking. Decent grades and have always been polite and respectful to any OTHER adults.The girls have never really wanted for anything within reason, including the twins getting a car for Christmas the year they turned 16. They also gained the responsibility of gas, maintenance, and monthly bills for insurance and extra cell phone data. (No phones for any of them until they turned 14)Both twins have already been through multiple jobs. Consistently not paying their "bills" and have shirked all chores and responsibilities at home. I work a lot. Not home often but expect that the rules and expectations that WE have set are followed. And like every other household, it is a constant struggle and my wife gets overwhelmed and just gives up. This is starting to be a contention point in our marriage. My wife expects the girls to do certain things and when the expectations aren't met it turns into an argument. She turns to me. We talk, set a punishment, and within a couple days the girls wear her down and she gives up. No follow through and no repercussions for the girls. When I try to enforce or push back about the shortened punishment, I'm the asshole... Or am I? LMK | AITA Frustrated Step Dad | NTA |
10zaucm | Me and my mom were shopping at a local thriftstore when I noticed a large man following me, I immediately walked back to where my mom was and informed her about what was happening. I ended up sticking by her side for a while until eventually the man approached me. He did not say a single word and was carrying childrens books, at first he simply stood there before moving very close to me. My mom encouraged me to talk to him so I said hi, he then started mumbling something and grabbed my hands, feeling very uncomfortable I pulled away and started to walk in the other direction but he followed me. Eventually I felt so uncomfortable that I ran from the store and hid in my locked car, when my mom came out she immediately began scolding me for running away from a man who likely had no idea what he was doing. I do feel a bit bad but I still feel that I was right to leave the situation as quickly as possibleAITA? | AITA for running away from a possibly mentally ill person in public | NTA |
10zdpte | Sorry for the long text/ spelling issues, on mobile. Also throwaway. Important: This timeline happened over the course of four days. Tuesday - triggering incident. Wednesday - email. Thursday - meeting Friday - mental health day. / Coworkers telling me I'm an asshole. Recently I accidentally triggered someone at work. (Tuesday). They ended up sending me an email about it on the work computer, on Wednesday, which stated I made them feel unsafe due to this trigger. I noted the email and decided to give them some space ( Still being friendly but not directly interacting with them as much. As their email did state that I made them feel unsafe, so I wanted to not make them uncomfortable by being around them more than necessary.) I made sure to avoid the triggering topic of conversation whenever I did see them. Unfortunately giving them space was the incorrect move apparently. As I got called into a meditation meeting with some higher ups and the concerned coworker on Thursday. They asked why I never spoke to them directly about the email: feeling that because I never did I was continuing my behavior that was triggering. I told them that I was confused as they had stated I made them feel unsafe. So I did not want to directly confront them as that could be seen as hostile. They agreed with that statement and we talked out the issues in mediation. Then Friday, they took a mental health day from work as they are still feeling uneasy around me. Again I totally get all of this, I feel like shit for accidentally triggering them. I never want to make anyone feel unsafe. In the future I will continue to take care to avoid the topic and be a friendly coworker. I really do not want this issue to impact our work relationship more than it already has. Here is my issue, I was supposed to hang out with them outside of work for a recurring weekly group hangout. I am now uncomfortable doing so. With them feeling unsafe around me, I don't want to spend time with them outside of work. I also have a concern that I might accidentally trigger them again in the group hangout, which could result in another work issue. My other coworkers are calling me an asshole for not wanting to spend time outside of work with this person after this, and are pushing me to continue with the hangouts as previously planned. I really feel like my response is a reasonable response but I am not sure now. Am I the asshole? Edit: For everyone wondering the triggering event was me speaking to a friend ( another coworker) about how upset I was with recent transphobia in the news and media. ( To be clear I was upset that someone was being transphobic. ) The upset coworker heard me talking about me being upset and came over to listen. Their trigger was the mentioned of transphobic content at all. I understand and respect that trigger and won't ever mention it ever again. I feel so bad that me mentioning it hurt them and possibly brought up bad memories. TLDR: I accidentally triggered someone at work. I noted the trigger and now make sure not to bring it up anymore. They now are stating I make them feel unsafe around me. So, I don't want to spend time with them outside of work. Being told by other coworkers that I am an asshole for this. | AITA for not wanting to spend time outside of work with someone who feels unsafe around me at work? | NTA |
10zbudr | With Valentine’s Day coming up next week, my girlfriend decided to do something nice and ordered a box of very expensive chocolates to give me. This box of candy was delivered today, but unfortunately in the time that it sat outside on the front stoop, a raccoon or some other wild animal managed to tear its way through the packaging and make off with some of the chocolates. Though she noticed the damage when she took the box inside, my girlfriend nevertheless decided to sample one or two of the candies from the opposite side of the package. When I got home and was presented with the remnants of this gift, I thanked my girlfriend for going to the trouble of ordering it but insisted that we dispose of the package to avoid contracting any animal borne illnesses. She became upset and maintained that eating chocolates from the opposite side of the package would be perfectly safe, but I insisted on disposing of the whole thing out of an abundance of caution since the candies were not individually wrapped. When she admitted to sampling some of the candy herself, I became upset and asked her to confer with her doctor when their office opens to make sure they don’t recommend that she get a preemptive shot to protect against any illness.Am I the asshole for refusing to entertain the notion of eating food that shared a confined airspace and was in close proximity to an unknown animal’s saliva? Am I also the asshole for telling her to get a professional medical opinion about what she did? | AITA for throwing out chocolates a raccoon had gotten into? | NTA |
10zelck | Hi everyone.I (21f) have been friends with "Sarah" (21f) for the past three years. We are in the same program at university together. Sarah has ADHD, and because of it, she struggles to keep on top of her responsibilities, including schoolwork. Now, I'm always down to help a friend out when asked, but as time has gone on, Sarah has been asking for more and more help to a level that I feel is unreasonable. It started off with the normal stuff like sending her notes and proofreading her work to make sure it sounds good. Then I noticed that Sarah would just not come to class or not pay attention at all with the expectation that I would just give her my notes and explain what she missed to her every week. She would even try to distract me as I'm taking notes for HER and she would get annoyed when I didn't entertain her. Then she started to ask me to do things that seemed mildly absurd, like going to a course outline and describing project specifications to her. Or finding the due date for an assignment and telling her how much it was worth. She would text me asking me these things while I'm at work and she's at home, and I'm like... you can't search it up right now for yourself???Then, I'm guessing (can't confirm) that she spoke to her friends about the way I had been helping her. Before I knew it, I started getting texts from her friends whom I barely talk to asking if I can review their papers, and make sure that their bibliographies are formatted correctly.My final straw you ask?Sarah was very behind on an assignment involving video editing and animation, and of course, she hadn't been paying attention to what was being taught in class so she didn't know how to do anything. She asked me for my help, so I found her a youtube tutorial (4 minutes long) explaining the basics of what she had to do. Now, instead of watching the video, she says "can't you just watch it and then tell me how to do it?" I said no. Because frankly, I think it's ridiculous. Ever since then, whenever I set a boundary and refuse to help her with something (which is also due to how busy I am), she clearly gets annoyed, saying "really? you can't help me with this? It's just an essay" etc. I'm worried that I'm TA because I know she struggles with school, and I don't have ADHD so I can't fully understand what she has to go through, but at this point, I just feel like I'm getting taken advantage of.So, AITA? | AITA for refusing to help my friend with her schoolwork? | NTA |
10zel4j | I (56M) have a wife (48F) and two daughters (12F and 14F)I moved from Saudi Arabia with my family to a country in the west 3 years ago. I really like the country and have learned a lot and met a lot of good people here. However I am finding it impossible to get a job in my field or find a way to start a business here. I have a business in Saudi Arabia that I have scaled down before leaving and is managed by employees now. I face a lot of bureaucratic hurdles in my new country. This is however not very sustainable as the new country requires me to pay taxes on my Saudi income making things a lot less profitable.My wife does not have an education and is finding an even harder time, back in Saudi Arabia she was a stay at home.I am thinking of going back and as my family are dependents and will lose their visa if I go and they will have to join me.I talked to my wife and she agrees but is very sad about it. We have all become non religious since moving here and my wife and daughters have adapted to a western lifestyle they cannot have in Saudi Arabia. My elder daughter is very upset when we tried explaining and we get into arguments about it.My wife is willing to stay with our daughters in this country and let me go alone which is a possibility and it would work for our visa, if my wife got a job. I do not want to do this as it will separate me from my family for a long time and I would not have a visa anymore but it could benefit them eventually get citizenship.WIBTA if I followed through with this? | WIBTA for taking my family back to Saudi Arabia? | YTA |
10z9z38 | Long time viewer, first time poster. Sorry for mobile formatting! I (19F) have always have always had trouble with my weight. I was never skinny, but also not huge looking. I am considered obese with my weight and height but I never really looked it because of my proportions (overweight yes I can admit that I look fat but I wear size 10 (M) pants mostly and L/XL shirts cause I have broad shoulders and a bigger chest).I’m 5’10 and before I left for the spring semester I was 235lbs. That was three weeks ago and since then I’ve started to watch my food and exercise for an hour every morning before class with the 12-3-30 exercise for an hour though. I have dropped 10 pounds and am now 225 lbs which I am very proud of but this whole time I’ve been telling my parents I was no heavier than 200lbs. I’ve been telling them that I am 200lbs since I was 16 (possibly younger I don’t really remember when I hit 200lbs) or so when in reality it’s gone up about 10lbs each year. I was always somewhat active with low impact sports sports and extra curricular activities but I loved to eat (still do) and have a very slow metabolism. So doing all of this exercise and not snacking while at school has really helped me drop the weight.Whether or not my parents have believed that I have stayed 200lbs through the past three years is unknown to me. My mom has questioned it but has never pushed and I always hide my annual physical papers so she doesn’t see the real number. They would look at photos of me from like three years ago and remark on how much skinnier I looked and I would just say it was “the angles” or if it was an insta photo of me I would say that it was photoshopped or something which since they are technologically inept they believe. Some of it is angled, some of it is photoshop, and some of it was just the fact that three years ago I was 30ish lbs lighter. My dad picked me up from school for the weekend and since I got in the car with him he keeps telling me how great I look and keeps telling me I should weigh myself (with him in the room, he sees this an encouraging and is giving me kudos for working out every day) and I keep saying I don’t feel good and I don’t want to (I have a head cold and am under the weather) so he’s kind of letting it slide and I’ve been napping a lot. He’s asked me to weigh myself like 5 times tonight to “see my progress”. I am very proud of my progress but it just isn’t the progress he would be expecting. I don’t know how to break it to my parents that I did lose 10lbs but was also starting 35lbs higher than they thought. And was kind of considering to just weigh myself when I got down below the 200lbs and say that I guess I gained a lot of muscle weight in my legs but I don’t know if I can fend them off forever. They hate lying. I go home Sunday and then won’t be back until mid March. I know I should tell them the truth but I am ashamed of myself so AITA for lying to my parents and what should I do? | AITA for lying to my parents about my weight | NTA |
10zgwbc | I had a boomer great aunt that was a wonderful and loving woman. She just grew up in Eastern Europe right after WWII. One of the weird things about her was that she would give her old belongings as gifts for weddings and important birthdays. I still have the music box she gave me for my First Communion. When we saw family I would always ask to see their pieces. A few of my aunts had them displayed in a china cabinet or out somewhere safe. A few had them collecting dust in a box. I made sure they knew that if the day ever came that they wanted to downsize or something I would appreciate a chance to grab it for my collection. Some of my cousins took me up on the offer and I ended up with six extra pieces for my room. When I moved out I made sure that every single part of my collection was safely wrapped and packed. They are my little treasures. I know it's weird. Sorry for being so long winded. I just love talking about that stuff. I'm about 15 years younger than my eldest brother and he knows about my collection. When he got married I was 14. At his gift opening I saw he got one of her usual gifts. I also saw his wife's face. She was not super grateful. I made sure he knew that I thought it was beautiful but I didn't ask him to think of me if he wanted to get rid of it. I thought he might like to pass it on to his kid one day. When my aunt passed away she left me the last of her collection. Three pieces that were a set. I got married last September. My niece, his daughter, was my flower girl. At my gift opening I could almost hear him giggle when I opened my gift from them. It was the piece from our great aunt. He thought it was super funny. Then he gave us our "real" gift from our registry. I thanked him profusely for both. He came over the other day and saw my collection in my china cabinet I inherited. He asked me why I was so fascinated with this stuff. I told him that I thought it was amazing and that lots of people collected it. He called bullshit and started looking it up. The figurine he gave me is worth about $6,700. He said that I was a dick for not telling him what it was worth. He wants it back. I said that my husband and I were going to give back every piece I got from family as a gift for a special occasion. I already planned to give that piece to my niece for her first communion. Along with a little booklet of information about my aunt and the value of the piece so they appreciated it. I know exactly who I got each piece from. And they are all going back to that family. He says I'm being mean accepting a gift from him that is worth so much. I asked him if he ever bothered looking up.the value of what he was giving me. He said he thought it was like precious moments or Hummel. Whatever. I have family treasures to keep safe for the next generation. I know I would have gotten something awesome from my great aunt if she hadn't passed away before my wedding. | AITA for not telling my brother how much something was worth until he regifted it to me. | NTA |
10zf5uu | Trying not to go over the 3000 character limit so I'll have to condense a lot. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.To start, me and my ex dated for multiple years. We started out dating in high school until my senior year of college. Over the course of the relationship, we transitioned from in-person to long distance after they joined the military. We did long distance for a couple years, and once they were sent out of the country, they had nowhere to send all of their belongings (LC with their family at the time). We agreed to send all of their stuff to my house and I'd hold onto it, to which I recieved about 10 boxes worth of stuff, which I kept in a trailer.To put it simply, they ended up breaking up with me immediately coming back from their first deployment, saying the distance was too hard, and asked me to hold onto their stuff until they could grab it from me once they're back in the states. I agreed at the time. They ended up messaging me 2 weeks later saying they missed me and asking to basically get back together, and I agreed. This continued for about 5 months.And tale as old as time, I get a phone call extremely early one morning, and lo and behold, it's them admitting to having cheated on me during deployment, that they were pretty much living with the AP (who was their other partner, who had just went through their phone and found out they never stopped seeing me), and that there was a pregnancy involved and they were 6 months along (you do the math.). The phone call ended with me in tears, and my ex telling me that I could do whatever I like with their belongings since they will no longer be in contact with me (I'd like to emphasize this part). Then we promptly blocked each other.We don't speak for a year, and I've moved on with my life. They break up for whatever reason.Fast forward to a few days ago, I get a message from my ex saying they'll be in town soon, and if they can please come over and grab their stuff if I still have it.And here's the thing, I do still have their stuff. The reason being I couldn't bring myself to go through them for a while, and when I finally did, the trailer door pulley snapped, and I have no access to the trailer at this moment, but I could use other means to get inside, its just time consuming. But I don't want to see them, I don't want to open a line of communication, and frankly I find it insulting that they would message me out of the blue a year later assuming I have their stuff after they told me to do whatever I wanted with it and to never talk to them again. It's just very suspicious and I don't want to deal with it. I'm at a very happy point in my life after years of dealing with their anger issues and causing me to have extreme insecurity. WIBTA if I didn't give them their stuff back?Edit: changed a word | WIBTA if I didn't give my ex their stuff back? | NTA |
10zeauf | Told my friend that I needed new toilets. He offered to help. I didn't ask. He offered. We agreed to doing it today. So this morning I ask when he'll be over. He said after 5. Then, I don't hear from him till 6, when he asks what I'm doing, I replied....and waited an hour for a response. At 7, still no response I texted "I suppose toilets aren't happening today?"30 mins later he replies back that the stores open till 10 pm. I'm like, I don't wanna be working on it this late at night. Told him never mind, I'll take care of it myself next week. He lied and tried claiming he thought we would be buying today and installing tomorrow. BS, who does that and he never said that at all. Infact he even told me to make sure the area around the toilets are cleaned really good. I told him never mind. I can have them delivered and I can YouTube how to do it. (I'm 40f, tired and weak BTW but I'll figure it out) .He told me to just order them and he'll pick them up himself tomorrow and install. I don't want his help anymore. This isn't the first time he's done shit like this. It's almost constant. He even offered to help me pack up and move 2 hours down here....and then the night before he gave some lame excuse why he would have to reschedule MY move at last minute . I didn't, and instead packed it all up and drove down the mountain on my own. I can just have them delivered to my door. I'm sure I can take them up the stairs one piece at a time and do it myself. It'll be HELL, but right now I would rather pay someone than accept his free help . | WIBTAH for refusing his help? | NTA |
10ze4cz | Ever since a young age, my dad’s been on his phone while driving, including texting. I’ve told him it’s illegal, but he:A. Said it’s only a few thingsB. He’s had more experience driving than me.C. Gotten mad because someone younger than him is telling him what to do.Thing is: there are signs all over the roads saying it’s prohibited what he’s doing, but he doesn’t read them. The more he dismissed or ignored me, the closer I got to talking to the cops about it. It doesn’t matter about the hands free features or the new Bluetooth. He will just find loopholes.My family gave into the fact that my dad doesn’t like listening and told me I should just back off and let him, but when I do tell him it’s wrong, AITA? | AITA for calling my dad out for texting and driving? | NTA |
10zg8f6 | So I have been cooking more recently and we finally fixed our fridge so we have a large freezer, most foods I make are made fresh (not fully fresh but few if any ingredients are frozen) and I was just looking in the freezer for the chips (there is a chip shortage here so it has been a while lol) and when I found them there was a red container next to them, I usually use these containers to store certain long lasting ingredients like lettuce and onions. When I looked in the container there was a whole dead toad in there, for some context on this when at my mums house my sister will go around and find toads, catch them, then freeze them so she can dissect them later. These toads are pests were I live so I didn't really care because she used an old freezer so the toads were never near any thing I ate, I even helped her catch some once, but this dead frog is right next to a lot of meats, and even though the container is sealed these toads (cane toads) are very poisonous and it won't be fun if it gets into the food, I was going to chuck it out but surely other people have seen it and left it which probably means no one cares. Right now my sister is staying with my mum so I could chuck it out and nothing would happen until she got back, but when she did do you think people are more likely to side with me or my sister? It is unlikely it will affect anyone or anything so I might be an AH but I really don't like having dead toads near my food. | WIBTA for chucking out my sisters "belongings" | NTA |
10z6rbe | Before I start, I would like to say that English is not my first language, so I apologize beforehand if there are any grammatical mistakes.My uncle (my mom's brother, who we will call Fred) was... not a nice person at all. He was by, far, one of the worst people to have ever walked on this earth. He was the devil incarnate. Because of the "no violence" rule, I can't go into details into why he is not a good person, but whatever you're imagining, it was 100 times worse.Fred never liked my mom and had no problem showing it while they were growing up (again, due to the "no violence" rule, I can't go into details), and their mother used to encourage his behavior. She lived a living hell because of him.Thankfully, she managed to get out of that place when she met and later married my dad. Because she is a big believer in giving people another chance, she held no ill will against him... until he tried to direct his behavior towards me. That was my mom's last straw and she got a restraing order against him.Fred ultimately passed away in 2018 to some brain tumor. My parents and I went to the funeral (I didn't wanna go, mainly because of his actions and because his funeral was on the day of the 2018 Soccer World Cup finale) and I was able to finally breathe knowing that he wasn't around anymore and I no longer had to live in fear 24/7 (again, I can't specify).This is where I might be the asshole: On Sunday, we had a family gathering at my parents' place and it was attended by my mom's sister (who is not a nice person at all too) and her children (my cousins). They knew Fred didn't like my mom, but they didn't care. And they also didn't know about his history with me. All of the suddent, my aunt started rambling about what a "great person" Fred was and how he was "the nicest and kindest man ever". Something inside me snapped and I raised my voice and told her she didn't know what the hell she was talking about and proceeded to tell her everything Fred put me and my mom through and ended my rant saying that I'm glad he's dead. My aunt and cousins gasped and asked if I meant it, and I said I did "with all my heart". They left soon after.While my mom feels that what I said is true, I should've kept my opinions to myself to keep the peace. My aunt and cousins have been constantly texting and calling me since, telling me what a horrible person I am and to "not stain Fred's memory".So Reddit, AITA? And I apologize for the big wall of text. | AITA for saying that I'm glad my uncle's dead? | NTA |
10z8fat | I bought my friend flights to Sydney, just for a weekend away as a Christmas present. The reason I picked Sydney was because we have good friends that live there and I knew that we could stay with them and I wouldn’t have to pay for accommodation. I was happy to pay for flights knowing this. My Sydney friends have now decided to live interstate and will therefore no longer be able to provide the free accommodation that I was relying on! Such is life and it was a random last minute decision for them to move but now I’m in a position to have to pay for accommodation as well as flights which is not in my budget right now. AITA if I ask my friend who I bought the flights for as a gift if he chips in for accommodation? I feel terrible but also I do a lot for this friend, and I always pay for our trips away and never ask him for money but I’m in a position where I can’t afford this at the moment. Will he find that rude considering the flights were a gift? | AITA for booking a weekend away as a gift for my friend and then asking for accommodation money? | NTA |
10zfuo9 | I bought a brand new house in East Tampa (just north of Ybor City) back in 2019. My house was just being finished as the neighbor in question moved in. She (Erika) moved in directly next door and invites people to her house regularly to hang out on her front porch. There, she either blasts music from her bright colorful speaker, or has one of her guests blast music from one of their cars which obviously has giant subs in the trunk that rattles not only the busted car it sits in, but also the walls of every room of my house until as late as 3AM.I don't want to end up going viral for being a Karen about this, and I dont want to foul the friendly rapport I have with her. We're definitely not close friends, but we greet each other each time we see each other and we look out for each other (at least I try to).Why are people like this? | WIBTA - for walking next door and telling my neighbor to turn the music down during another one of her parties that last til 3AM randomly throughout the week? | NTA |
10zce36 | I hired a company to repair the interior of my bedroom after a tree branch fell on my roof during a storm. The branch caused a leak that destroyed the attic space and ceiling in my primary bedroom. The ceiling and attic were tore out, lights, insulation, baseboards and crown molding were removed and mold remediation was performed.Last week I was finally able to hire a company to repair the bedroom. However after two days of work the contractor, Don, refused to paint the room even though "paint all damaged areas" was included in the proposal and I had discussed paint colors with him during the bid.Exact verbiage from proposal:DRYWALL REPAIR1.Provide and install new drywall on ceiling bedroom 176 sq. ft.2. Provide and install new drywall in damage area. ( Ceiling).3. Plaster patch and paint all damaged areas. Install baseboard and crown molding back in place. 4. Clean and haul away all debris. TOTAL $ 3,850.00He argued that painting the room wasn't included in the proposal because it's not damaged and wants another $450 to paint.Over the phone he wouldn't address any of the points I made and kept talking over me. I told him I felt he was taking advantage of me because I am woman and then he yelled at me. I yelled back and then hung up on him. He responded, via text, with "...this is very rude, what you did right now , hang the phone on me , I am your contractor not your boyfriend, very very rude."I then spoke to the owner, a woman. I thought she'd agree that her employee's behavior was exploitative and sexist but she agreed with him, painting wasn't in scope, but would discuss his behavior with him. I told her I didn't want to speak with or see Don at my house again. She offered to meet me at my house to approve the completed work. She came the same day, still sided with her contractor and then in what I interpreted as a misguided attempt to be nice told me I was "probably being emotional because I just had a baby." I was able to respond calmly with, "I am not being emotional because I had a baby. I am being emotional because your employee disrespected me and I don't know why you'd employ a person like that as a woman." I have screenshots of my conversation with Don, the proposal, photos of the initial damage, remediation work and final work including damaged walls, baseboards and crown molding. I wrote a Google review and included it. Then today I got another text from Don:"Hi good afternoonIt's so sad there's people like you , that writes bad reviews for no reason, because we didn't give you for free the painting job , maybe one day you'll have the money to aide another company to paint for you..."I blocked him at this point because he was still texting.AITA for thinking painting was included and further, for thinking I'm being treated poorly because I'm a woman? | AITA for thinking a contractor did me wrong because I'm a woman? | YTA |
10z676y | Okay so since I was young, my mom has always favored my other siblings- for example my parents wouldn’t go to my school or sporting events but always went to my siblings, I had to buy my own car/ school clothes/ sports gear etc but my siblings didn’t have to. So fast forward I’m an adult and have a family, married and own my home. I had a really toxic childhood which included my parents fighting a lot and just overall a negative household with name calling and arguing so I told myself I wouldn’t do that to my family/kids. So as an adult with children I’m quick to cut off communication with someone if name calling, poor behavior etc starts because I grew up around that and I don’t want my kids to think treating people poorly is okay or “normal”. I just give space and when time permits I try to reconcile and move forward but I don’t like arguing with people in the heat of the moment because I don’t feel it’s productive. Well my mom and brother are the opposite. They talk trash about everyone and my mom in particular seems to forget where she came from- she has nice things now but she didn’t always. And so she makes snide comments about my husband, about where I live and even about my daughter (she has autism and she thinks it’s “our fault” and constantly is trying to come up with ideas on how to make our daughter “normal”)- she also never sees her grandkids unless we ask to come over and see her.Now most recently my brother moved into our house and we had agreements for him moving in as we didn’t really want a roommate but since he’s family we agreed it was okay(my husband and I). My brother never paid rent and when he would get mad at us for just asking what he was up to he would go and trash talk us to my mom. Mind you my daughter has autism so we lock the doors with special locks at night so she can’t get out and you can’t unlock them from the outside. I finally was done being yelled at and name called so I said he could move out especially since we haven’t had rent paid to us since he moved in months ago. My mom (who mind you never wants to hear my side of the story) went on to tell me how I was being cruel and that my family doesn’t like me because of my “outburst”. I said if that’s how you all feel then you can F right off and not see my family again. She then said that she feels sorry for my husband and my kids that they have to “deal with me”. I just don’t feel like I should feel bad for not wanting to be treated poorly and called names, especially since this isn’t the first time. AITA for blocking my family and just calling it quits at least for a while? I know that yes kids need to have their family but I also don’t feel like I should be okay with being treated as just the black sheep of my family and be treated like garbage but idk. | AITA for telling my family to F off | NTA |
10zf8bc | I know the title is bad but let me explain. My mom is currently undergoing a divorce from my biological father (absolute asshole) and celebrated her birthday tonight with friends. Amongst these friends is “Brad”. “Brad” formerly worked for my biological father before and during the divorce process before getting fired by him. Brad clearly has a crush on my mother but she has swore up and down she’s not interested in him romantically In any sort of sense. She has also complained/ made fun on him in certain senses. I want to preface this with that I don’t have any contact with my biological father and hate him more than a fish hates land. I came home from drinking tonight and found my mom passed out (drunk) on the couch with “Brad” borderline groping her and I against my better judgment told him to get his hands off my mother or I would “beat the fuck out of him” and quote. He definitely left since then as I had to disable the alarm but I’m left here wondering, am I the asshole? Or simply drunken rage? This makes me upset because I just want us to be happy again and it really bothers me I reacted in this sort of way because I have tried so hard to better myself and I feel like I have stepped back as responsible adult | AITAH threatening my mothers friend? | NTA |
10zg47h | My roommate used to be some sort of executive or something in NYC, and now she works as a cashier at a religious store. She absolutely will not shut up about her job, and I do not care to hear about it because her voice is basically a trigger at this point. But she has obvious NPD and needs to talk about her day for whatever reason.Her thing is that she sees being a cashier as this super noble thing. And she will go into great detail about her day. Whether it be a customer complaining about her, or her bragging about how she arranged a place to stay at a shelter for a homeless man, I hear about everything. Which is amazing because she refuses to gossip about her coworkers, but she still finds some way to not shut up about work, and how her job helps the homeless, etc. Her company is also literally a cult, by the way.Today, it was about how a customer took offense to her saying black skin ages well and reported her to her boss. Which I get, because that is just an incredibly weird thing to talk about at work. And later in her day, a homeless man came in asking for help paying for a hotel room. She was able to get him approved for a bed at the rescue mission. I mean, good for her, but why brag about it?I interrupted her and told her that her complex was getting annoying. I explained that she views herself as this incredibly important person and a gift to the world, when literally all she does is push buttons on a touch screen and puts things in a bag. (She is kicking me out for a stupid reason and I legally have 30 days so I will enjoy spending this time clapping back at her.) She said, "Not that you even want to get a job, but you absolutely would not last a day doing the work I do." I pointed out she is kicking me out, so I have no idea how she expects me to get a job. She said, "True. You just want everything handed to you for free." I told her to quit talking to me, and she said, "Oh so your boundaries matter and not mine." And she promptly disconnected me from the wifi like a petty child. AITA? | AITA for telling my roommate that being a cashier does not make her a gift to the world? | YTA |
10zc6fq | I (25 F) have always been the therapy friend. Normally it doesn’t bother me if people come and complain to me every once and a while, need to vent, or need advice. I’m happy to try and help others when they need it. However, lately it’s been harder and harder for me to do so. I’m getting burnt out being the therapy friend, where they dump all their trauma and complaints at my feet and just expect me to be constantly be mentally well enough to handle it. Along with juggling my own problems and mental health I’ve been diagnosed with. Lately I have had an online friend, who is admittedly in a very horrible and rough spot in life. I’m not going to air out their life story but give the basic gist for anonymity sake. They took a job, working for free, as a free babysitter / live in nanny essentially because they were about to be homeless in a week and had nowhere else to go. It’s illegal to have an unpaid live in nanny situation where they are, but they have nowhere else to go and as a result have found themselves trapped in a chaotic household. Basically they clean the house and watch the kids for free and doesn’t get paid for anything. Then not be seen once not needed. And is now expected to somehow pay for all their own necessities with very little income (works a minimal hour part time job. Due to the live in situation can’t get more hours.) I was more than okay with them venting, but was also suggesting when they get a chance to get a therapist (which they have since). Now that they have a therapist and somebody to actively work with them to over come past trauma but is still using me as a therapy friend and it has been getting tiresome. Everyday it’s venting and complaining about the same thing. And I placed ground rules that they need to dial back on it because I mentally cannot handle them constantly complaining about the same thing ( their living condition ) when I am barely mentally staying afloat for me own reasons. Or at least ask me if I am mentally okay enough to even have this conversation in the first place. This will last for a week before it goes right back to the same thing of every day constantly venting. I can’t even have a normal conversation without it being redirected about them and their situation. Example I once got hurt at work and two minutes later then were talking about their living situation all over again , even though I was actively telling them about how I had gotten injured. I’m need to place better ground rules and try and reinforce them more. Even if they need reminders. Because I don’t want to blow up at them. Which I am close to doing because I’m getting more and more irritated as it feels like they aren’t respect my own boundaries and mental health. Would I be the asshole if I asked them to stop using me as a second source of therapy as a “therapy friend”. I’m fine with them mentioning once a week but every day is getting out of hand. Especially when it dominates the conversation constantly. | WIBTA For telling my friend to stop constantly talking to me about their living situation? | NTA |
10zcyu0 | Just to complicate things a bit. we're both obviously in love with each other, but have reasons on both our ends to just stay platonic (nobody's cheating, just our own situations). So we just enjoy being best friends and giving each other a lot of positive attention. I have told him a lot about my parents and he's very fascinated by my father. My father is the archetype of a certain profession that appears in a particular genre of movies that some people are extremely obsessed with. For someone who didn't grow up in America but did grow up on Hollywood movies, especially this genre, meeting someone like my dad would be a rare and fascinating thing. There are two problems. For one thing, my dad is not friendly. He's extremely gruff, and asocial to the point of being quite rude. He just has zero interest in interacting with anyone besides our immediate family whatsoever, and sees no need to hide it. Interacting with him will not be any kind of gratifying experience. Another thing is that both my parents grew up very poor, which triggered an extreme hoarding disorder in my mother, so even though my dad has done well for himself, the way they live is honestly disgusting. They also don't like spending money on upkeep so they've let a really nice house go completely to shit. I know that my friend would be appalled and disgusted by this, and think a lot less of my parents. He's extremely conscientious and takes very careful care of everything he has. My friend keeps asking when he will meet my dad and I keep saying whenever you want, knowing that I will never introduce them. I just don't want to explain these issues to my friend and make my dad seem lesser, but saying you'll never meet my dad just seems so harsh and rejecting, when it's not about my friend at all. | AITA for leading my best friend to believe he will one day meet my father when I have zero intention of introducing them? | NTA |
10zdsla | Let me start out by saying, he completely is. This guy is literal human scum. My (28F) best friend (28F) has been with this guy (31M) for about two and a half years. He’s cheated on her with at least three different women last year. He had two one night stands and he paid a masseuse to give him a **** job. Here we go! He asked her dad for her hand in marriage, and then a few weeks later had sex with a girl (“Girl A”) that he just met at a bar. My friend saw Girl A’s name on his phone, confronted him on it, and he got mad at her for going through his phone & called her jealous. Girl A found out via social media that he had a girlfriend. She messaged my friend and profusely apologized. Girl A told her that they had sex in his car and he wanted to do it again. Girl A blocked him since she found out he wasn’t single like he had told her. Girl A was starting to really like him and we honestly felt bad for her because she was lied to as well.My friend confronted him on this, and he confessed but swore she was the only one. They went on a break for a month or so because he want sure if he wanted a relationship so he could work on himself. They still live together mind you. They got back together, and she saw an unfamiliar name on his “list”. He keeps a list of the 130+ women he’s had sex with. It turns out that he did sleep with an additional girl (“Girl B”) prior to Girl A. He wasn’t planning on telling her, of course, but the list doesn’t lie.He fessed up to the masseuse on his own, so I guess I’ll give him an honesty credit for that one.In general, he’s just a very mean person to her and a lot of us, but that’s a separate issue. Anyways. I’m the only person she told and will ever tell about this. I sat her down and said that on behalf of everyone who loves her that she deserves better than this guy. That he’s a liar and a cheater. I asked her if her family would honestly want her with a guy like him (no I haven’t told them). I said that if it was my daughter I would want someone to say something. She feels that he has changed because he got on anti depressants and has gotten “help for his problems”. She really feels like he won’t cheat anymore and that it’s no one else’s business. She told me she will always love me and this won’t come between our friendship. They’ve since gotten engaged. She and I still talk, but it’s not the same. I haven’t seen her since (it’s been almost two months). She’s one of my best friends, and I think our relationship is majorly damaged. Was I in the wrong for saying something? Did I overstep? | AITA for telling my friend her boyfriend is a liar and a cheater? | NTA |
10zc2u6 | I have a dog that I consider to be a part of my family. He's been with me for years and brings me joy every day. My in-laws, who are wealthy circus owners, have offered to take my dog for a year to train him to be a performing dog in their circus.My partner, who has always been supportive of my love for my dog, is now requesting that I comply with my in-laws' offer and give up my dog for the year. They believe that it's an amazing opportunity for my dog and a great way to impress the in-laws.I can't bear the thought of giving up my dog, even for a year, to be trained and perform in a circus. I feel like I would be exploiting and endangering my dog for entertainment purposes.Is it wrong for me to refuse to give up my dog to a circus? AITA for valuing my pet's well-being and dignity over impressing my in-laws and fulfilling my partner's desires? This is an absurd and uncomfortable situation, and I'm not sure what to do, but I do know that I can't give up my dog to a circus. | AITA for Refusing to Give Up My Dog to a Circus? | NTA |
10zfio1 | I (18F) joined an interschool japanese dance competition with two of my bfs. Teacher in charge was stereotypical and arguing with her didn't work so we just went along with her horrible ideas. It was a 3 mins dance and no one would know us anyway (we were going to another school to perform). When we recieved our costumes, I noticed it was tighter than the others. I'm bigger than most other girls (not overweight or anything. I'm just built like a fridge and am a few inches above most girls). The real issue were my breasts though. My mom keeps pointing it out and that has made me insecure. I talked to the teacher about this and she told me to deal with it. She couldn't do anything now. There was a week left to the performance. The robe accentuated my breasts even more (which wouldn't be a problem if it was my size). Teacher basically said in subtle words that it's my fault for not being the average size as all other girls. And that I'd get the most attention anyway. I didn't want to jeopardize my friends by pulling out at the last moment so I sucked it up, joined the performance and went to the toilet to cry after it was all over. No one ever talked about it to me because I hated every second of it and wanted no memory of it. This is where the actual conflict begins. Few months after the performance, teacher gathered us again and said she wanted us to perform the same dance on the annual day. No one was excited but they all agreed. But I flat out refused. I wasn't going to put myself in that position again, especially when my mom would be watching. Teacher then threatened to reduce my points but I didn't care. They replaced me with another girl but she got affected by chicken pox three days prior to the show. Teacher told me about this as I was the only one who knew all the steps. She, along with the others (including my best friends), expected me to feel bad and volunteer. Though I sympathized with their situation, I refused to help them. Everyone was mad at me but I thought they weren't expecting me to help anymore. Turns out I was wrong as my teacher then asked me to just come on the annual day and to bring my costume so that they could give it to another person who would perform in my stead. But I knew she would've just bullied me into performing as it'd be harder to say no in person. I didn't show up. I slept all day and woke up to angry texts. I told them it was their fault to assume I'd be a pushover. I never committed to anything. Now they're calling me a selfish asshole and that I should atleast apologise for not informing them that I'm not going to show up. I told them they had 3 days to prepare someone else or remove the person without a pair to make the dance look decent and not awkward. Instead, they relied on me knowing that I had already said no multiple times. I'm rethinking my decision because even my bfs think I'm an asshole for "ruining" their performance and being inflexible with my boundaries. So, AITA for ruining their performance? | AITA for ruining my friends' performance? | NTA |
10zcchn | Im 25M and my ex "Connor" (26M) were together 2 years and it was the best time of my life honestly it felt like the world was perfect but like all good things it came to an end. My sister "Eliza" has autism and really stays to herself and doesn't like to hugged and generally yells when she gets gets hugged. Eliza adored Connor and didn't scream when he hugged her and would ask him to read her stories Eliza one than more occasion called him her best friend. My mother even bought them matching pajamas my friend called it creepy and kept telling me Eliza was moving in on him I didn't believe it I trusted him but then I just let them get to me to a point where I believed it and I ended it. My mother never let me hear the end of it and my family was so mad because they loved Connor but I made up my mind. About 3 weeks ago I went home to visit my mom and dad and we had dinner and Eliza said I miss connor and I snapped and said you're the reason he's gone and Eliza left the table went inside her room and shut the door my parents told me to leave I was bombarded with text from my cousins and aunts and uncles calling me all types of names I feel bad but I don't think I did anything wrong. | AITA for what I said to my sibling? | YTA |
10zfbmm | I (35M) have a brother in law (32M) for whom I'm paying to attend college for the last 1.5 years. The deal is that as long as he passes each of his classes, I'll continue to pay for the next semester. I didn't care about his major because that's ultimately his choice in what he wants to do with his life, but I wanted him to get his general studies out of the way until he figures out what he wants his major to be, because I'm only paying upto him getting his masters.Today we had a small get together for game night at our place and he announced he's going to be a scientist. Being curious, I asked what branch of science he's pursuing. He boldly and proudly claimed "Astrology" and I immediately burst out laughing, telling him that won't make him a scientist. My wife (36F) called the evening to a close and once everyone left, blew up at me for being disrespectful to my BIL.I told her that as an actual student of science (Masters in Organic Chemistry), I don't appreciate pursuit of hokum while claiming to pursue being a scientist. She made the point that by saying something like what I did, could dissuade him from his chosen path. I argued that if he chose that route, then more power to him and he should remain steadfast to it, but to be realistic about what is actually is, and it most certainly is not science.So am I an asshole for telling my BIL that studying astrology won't make him a scientist.Edit: It's Astrology for sure, not Astronomy. Wife confirmed that with BIL prior to him leaving.Also, I haven't been paying for Astrology classes. He's working through getting his associates. | AITA for telling my BIL he's not going to be real Scientist? | NTA |
10zc63h | I'm currently pregnant and have a 1 year old at home with me. I have had a horrible tooth ache for the past 3 days, I have an appointment for Sunday to get the pain resolved. My partner has been working all week and usually comes home right away. Today he needed a extra worker so he picked up a family member and was supposed to finish at 3:30pm. I was trying to call to get in contact with him from the time he finished to see when he would be arriving home. He only just contacted me at 5:20pm to say he was at that said family members house and that he did finish at 3:30. I completely blew him up asking why on earth he thinks it's appropriate to not contact me to let me know when I'm home with a baby and struggling to focus properly due to the pain I'm experiencing in my teeth. He told me I was over reacting and that 2 hours isn't a long time and he will be home shortly AITA here?Edit: he was aware of the pain I was experiencing since I was up all night in pain and I did ask him before he started to work to come home. He was only at saids family members house to smoke and top up his weed supply as he regularly goes there to buy his supply. | AITA for expecting my partner to come home asap from work today? | NTA |
10z6s3q | My dad got me a dog when I was 7 and he told me I would be responsible for her. I grew up with her and I loved her very much. She used to sleep with me etc. When I graduated from high school (16yo) I moved to Japan to try to have a better life and I’ve been here since then (24yo now) and I had to leave her with my dad. We found out she had cancer during covid (beginning of 2021 I think) and he paid for her treatments. She passed away a few months later (Aug 2021). During covid I lost my job and I couldn’t find jobs because I work in the customer service industry and restaurants and bars weren’t hiring, they were actually firing people. I had no job for a year and had to use all my savings which I was saving to start uni since my parents would never help me pay for it. Every time we talk my dad keeps telling me that I have to pay him back all the money he spent with my dog because the dog is mine because he gave me the dog. If I had money I would pay him back but I have none and it’s not like he needs it right now. He has his own house, own car, he works, his wife also works. I’m working at 2 low paying jobs, can’t find anything better, barely pay all my bills. I could try to save and pay him back but it’s a lot of money and would take me years but I wouldn’t be able to pay for uni which I have to pay all by myself.I talked to a few friends and they told me that the dog isn’t fully my responsibility because he, as an adult, wanted to get a dog and got one when I was 7.So, AITA for not paying back my dad for my dog’s cancer treatment?Add: He started the treatment. I only found out she had cancer a month after the diagnosis. Payment was never discussed until a few weeks after she passed away | AITA for not paying back my dad for my dog’s cancer treatment? | NTA |
10z98ul | I (26F) and my sister (32F) have never had a close relationship and recently got into a huge fight because of me coming out of the closet and having a girlfriend. She is against it and basically very embarrassed because she thinks I’m bringing my family’s name to ruin by this (I’m from latin america and everyone’s usually very close minded).She has the cutest 2 year old and even if I’m not big on kids I like spending time with him. She has been trying to get everyone against me saying that I’m a terrible person for not making visits to play with him or asking her about him every time he gets a cold or something. To be honest after how she treated me when she found out that I was gay, outed me with my other sister (32F, her twin) and almost forced me to come out with my parents threatening me to tell them herself, I just want nothing to do with her. She is going insane about me not commenting on every picture she posts of her child on instagram or not posting it myself, not answering the family group chat when they talk about him (I receive like 20+ pictures daily of him there) and avoiding gatherings where she is going. So AITA for being completely indifferent to my sister and therefore her child? | AITA for not visiting my nephew | NTA |
10zf35f | I am a white American which is what I identify as. I always knew that a couple of my long-deceased ancestors were from Puerto Rico. After delving into genealogy more and linking up with distant relatives who have done a lot of research, I learned that branch of the family has records going back to the 1600's in Puerto Rico. Almost all Puerto Ricans have some native American ancestry. DNA tests show 2% Taino ancestry for my parent, 1% for me.I don't go around identifying as native American or flaunting it up like that's my new identity. However, this 1% is something I am extremely proud of. The Spanish invaders (which I am also descended from) believed they had completely wiped out the Taino people and declared their genocide a success over 400 years ago.I think it's really fucking something that they are still sending their DNA into the future, 4 centuries later after everything they went through. Millions of people still carry their DNA. And I am really proud to carry 1% of their DNA forward in every cell of my body. Feels like a victory over something so brutal and evil.However, I was told by someone who (incidentally) is not native American, or Puerto Rican, or any other form of indigenous OR Latino, that this is cringey and wrong and I should shut up about it and not try to claim native American ancestry. So I want to know am I the asshole. I'm not claiming to be a native American person or take on any native American culture. I'm simply proud of having some of the DNA. I don't see why I should deny any of the ancestors or cultures I'm descended from. | AITA for being extremely proud of being 1% Native American? | YTA |
10zghxr | When my fiancé went into labour we rushed her to the hospital and when she was being taken in I was told to wait outside and then was told to go home as they thought the birth was going to take hours it ended up only taking minutes. I was not covid positive neither was my fiancé I was then called back for the birth and missed it on the way there. The first time I saw my daughter was on a phone screen and I was only able to communicate with my fiancé through text for the hours that she was in labour I regret just refusing not to leave my fiancés side. I feel like a failure. My cousin refused to leave his girlfriends side recently and was present throughout the whole birth process. This is something I will never get to experience and that eats me up inside making me depressed. I know my daughter is here now and I love her more than anything I just wish I could have been there to support my fiancé and be present for the birth. 🥲Edit: for context I was not able to be by her side due to covid 19 restrictions the hospital still had in place in early 2022 | AITA for going home during the birth of our first born daughter | NTA |
10zb0nk | Hi,My mother has been trying to be apart of my life 9 years after leaving it.To make a long story of what initially started this all as short as possible she came down one weekend to visit my grandparents and asked that I come see them. The first night of that weekend before I even got to see them first I was driving home at 8PM from the beach (we only lived an hour away) and she didn't like this so the only acceptable punishment in her opinion was to sell my truck, cut me from her cellphone plan. I had some upgrades on the truck they said they would reimburse me for. They only sent me $700/$1600 and said I was lucky to get that. For the next few months she began trash talking me and my fathers side of the family all over Facebook. Making up stories about how I cursed her out and trashed the truck before giving it back and my father supported it and also cursed her out. We live in a small town so all of my friend's parents' believed everything immediately and would make comments to me about it taking her side without even hearing my side of things and just treat me completely different after. This and other family issues made me to become very depressed for about 5 years and completely ruined my mental health.Few years later I am working 40+ hour weeks as a server to pay for college and other bills. I wasn't making the greatest grades due to working all the time but I did what had to be done at the time. One day my grandparents contacted me about a full ride scholarship through my moms company. I applied thinking I would not get it due to my GPA, but I did and every semester after that I made deans/presidents list each time and improved my GPA tremendously. I unblocked my mom and allowed casual conversations for the past 2 or so years after getting the scholarship. She's is starting to reach out to me more and more even though I hardly put effort into keeping a conversation going. She has even begun reaching out to my girlfriend on Facebook and sharing baby photos of me and asking for her number. During this time she also begun sending overly expensive gifts birthdays/holidays to me and my girlfriend, which she yet to even met. She is trying her hardest to reform a relationship that to me is just lost. I have lost all desire to respect her as my mother or even treat her as so after the pain she has caused me and my family.This May I graduate and I have told my family that I have no intentions of inviting her and they think that I am being selfish and stubborn. That I should invite her because she helped me get the scholarship. I will admit that it has been a tremendous help to me and I don't think I would have done so well in school without it. Am I the Asshole for not just letting go of the past and accepting all of her efforts? | AITA for not being so accepting of my biological mothers efforts to come back in my life and not wanting to invite her to my graduation even after she helped me receive a full ride scholarship? | NTA |
10zgc3k | So I moved in with my boyfriend a month ago. I met his aunt on her birthday and have heard many things about her. I am not one to judge someone till I know them. His grandparents have been sick so I offered my number to them if they needed help or anything. His aunt we will call her Tina. Tina called and found out that they had my number and she lost it. She thought there was no reason for them to have my number for any emergency. A day or two later his grandpa went to the hospital. We decided to go visit with his mom and dad. He was the only one aloud in the room so the rest of us stayed in the coffee shop. A little while later Tina showed up and made a comment about his moms outfit. There was nothing wrong with it. Today we went back to visit and once again Tina made a comment about us being there. Tina found out I was living with him and she said it was sinful because we aren’t married. We brushed it off like nothing but Tina being Tina she wasn’t done. His grandma asked me to help her get downstairs so I did Tina congratulated me on my new job then immediately said you know that’s a man’s job right not a women’s and that’s when I finally said you know what Tina I have worked hard and wanted this job with every ounce of my heart, maybe you should think before you speak or just mind your own business because you don’t know me. I know she has a problem with me but all I’ve done is be respectful to her.AITA for speaking up? | AITA for telling my boyfriends at to mind her business? | NTA |
10z8tdj | I drove 1 hour with my husband to our daughters indoor track meet. It was our first time at this college and finding the location was bit tricky as it’s dark and a large campus. Finally we found it and I parked the car. Husband was being snarky while I was driving on campus (you’re hitting brakes too much you’re braking for no one etc etc) so I could tell he was in a bad mood. After I turned off car husband got out but I didn’t. I checked life360 to double check we were at right place using daughters location, I put my glasses away and into my purse and I rearranged my wallet. Entire process took less than 60 sec. Husband got back into car and was clearly annoyed with me. I said “ready?” when I was done and he replies with a sarcastic “oh you’re waiting for me? Guess it’s time to go now.” I told him those sarcastic comments are mean and hurtful and make it hard for me to spend time with him. His reasoning is that I am selfish for making him wait for me while I gathered my things together. I told him he didn’t need to wait he could have just walked in. We weren’t in any rush and after 1.5 hours here still haven’t seen my daughter do her events. I say he’s the asshole for being rude and sarcastic and telling me I’m selfish for taking 1 minute to get out of the car. He says I am the asshole for not rushing out of the car at once and making him wait for me.So Reddit, AITA?Edited to add: “rearranging my wallet” meant putting cash and atm card in right place. I got cash on the way and couldn’t do this while driving. | AITA for taking 60 seconds to get out of the car? | NTA |
10zcbt4 | EDIT: I'm not gonna talk to the boss. It was silly to even consider the thought!For context, I (27F) used to work with my husband "David" (28M) under the same boss and had a good acquaintanceship with him before I switched jobs. David is a seafood department specialist in a grocery store and has three higher ups: the meat/seafood department manager, the salaried fresh manager, and the store manager. However, the first two don't do jack squat to help him when he needs it. I've experienced it firsthand, and David complains about it at home. The only reliable one is the store manager (Boss) who is both an incredible person and incredibly busy. David has a very good working relationship with him.The problem lies within the seafood department. It has three total employees who have to cover all seven days of the week. This means all three of them work on their own 90% of the time.Well, one of the other two seafood employees took an extended leave of absence for a valid reason. Unfortunately, this took a huge toll on David as he had to pick up the slack. This hole in the department also showed David that the third working employee is not good at his job. Which means David is one man trying his hardest to work three jobs.This has made David start burning the candle at both ends. Recently, it has seemed like he even snapped the candle in half and is now burning it on all four ends. It's really hurting him because he works way too hard and has set impossibly high standards for himself. If the department doesn't look like it would if he had a full crew, he believes he has failed despite Boss telling him that it doesn't need to be perfect.David has asked for help before, several times. Department manager and fresh manager make excuses, and Boss is actively working on trying to hire someone else to relieve the strain. But it's been a month with no change in sight. I've asked David if he's asked Boss about getting dept manager and fresh manager to do their jobs and help, but he hasn't. I get the feeling he is far too proud to reach out like that. But I am worried. I really haven't seen David smile for the last month. He comes home obviously exhausted and burned out. He dreads going to work and is calling me several times through the day (when he knows I'm available) to try to help get him through his shift. It kills me inside to see him like this and not able to help, especially when he used to love his job. I want to go in and talk to Boss and try to come up with other options for immediate relief for David. To ask for help for him. And maybe ask Boss to tell the other two managers to get off their butts and help when they're supposed to (in a more professional way obviously). Or see if someone can be transfered to seafood temporarily. I don't know... just something so that David can stop being so incredibly stressed. Because he is drowning.WIBTA? | WIBTA if I talked to my husband's boss for him? | YWBTA |
10zfbop | My bday was coming up and I had shown great interest in a piece of electronic equipment. It costs about $200. I got my girlfriend a gift of $270 for Christmas. My girlfriend told me not to buy myself anything before my bday. She told me that about 7 weeks before. She told me several times. One day we talked about our history of giving and receiving presents. We talked a lot and in the middle, she asked "what if you got something you already have" I said it depends on the thing, with some things I'd be super happy that now I have two.Then I went and bought that thing for myself. She didn't find out but she took notice of the effects of said thing. But she never found out it was because of that. I'd use it for work. I hid that I bought it.Then when I actually got her present, she got me a variant of the thing I bought. When I opened it my heart sank. And my reaction wasn't what she expected I guess. She got me several other things from her but that was the main thing. But my reaction said it all. I can't remember exactly how it unfolded because I was in slight shock. And I told her very calmly but reluctantly "remember the thing I told you about getting two things and being super happy" and then at that moment she knew. And she was furious and left. I tried contacting her but she wouldn't answer and then eventually she did and was so angry. By then I had already compared the two. I got mine because it had a very specific gizmo for my work, but hers was had a much simpler interface so it was less exhausting to use for long periods. and I told her both had different strengths, so I could make good use of both of them. And I meant it but she didn't believe it. I told her a way in which hers was superior but when I also mentioned how mine was superior she got even more frustrated. I'll be honest if I had gotten hers, I probably still would've gotten the one I got. And if I didn't get hers, I'd be frustrated over how exhausting using mine is. | AITA for getting myself this? | YTA |
10zh30h | At the beginning of the week, the English teacher got upset because we interact (answering her questions or asking questions) with little to nothing during class, and when she asked why we don't interact no one answered. The next day she gave us a pop quiz where she asked us to say what we think a discussion is, why it is important to have them, and why people don't participate in themToday she listed on the board the most common answers we wrote down. After some discussion, she asked me why I don't interact during class, and I responded by saying that English is not something I am interested in. Then she asked me if there is any way English could interest me, and I said no.She was offended by my response and called my parents. My parents told me that I was wrong and that I should apologize for my rude response, saying that I had insulted and despised her work.I don't understand why I have to apologize, I didn't offend her personally, I just answered the question she asked me truthfully. I sincerely regret that she was offended but I don't understand why I have to apologize if she is offended by the facts of the matter.​P.S. even though English is not an interest of mine I know very well how important it is. I still listen during class, do my assigned homework, and study. | AITA for answering to my teacher truthfully? | NTA |
10zc5rp | I was playing drawing and guessing pictionary game the other day with my friends. I got the word "Skin" and tried my best to draw a human figure which happens to have a lighter skin tone. I also added lots of arrows to points to various parts of the human figure to indicate that it's not just a specific body part, like a hand or a foot. At the end, one of them called me being "extremely racist" as there exists many other types of skin tones and I should be more inclusive.I was very embarrassed and said I will be more careful in the future. But later, I thought to myself, since the choice of the lighter skin tone was not really intentional, should I really get called out for being racist?If that matters, I do have a lighter skin tone myself.So, am I the asshole for being racist? | AITA for only drawing one kind of skin color in scribble? | NTA |
10zeu6e | My long distant bf(now husband we’ll call H) was best friends with his roommate in college(J). Although J had different beliefs/morals we all got along and enjoyed each others company (when they came to my home town to visit).His roommate eventually got a girlfriend(K) but I soon found out that she was different and did things I thought were weird. Like once she, J, and H all went and got lunch together. But she posted a picture of my boyfriend on her SC saying “we got Mr. H to come out.” I thought it was weird that she’d post my bf on her story but not her bf. I let H know I thought it was weird and he agreed but we dropped it because it never happened again.Well H & myself had been together for a few years, and J & K had been together for a about a year. So I decided to invite them down and host a game night. I & H, J & K all sat down at a table. I finally got to sit down and talk to my boyfriend whom I rarely get to see. K was interrupting our convo and when H wouldn’t look at her she grabbed(not poked) his arm to get his attention. For at least 5 seconds which I think is WAY longer than necessary to get someone’s attention. And she knew by the look I gave her it was not okay.It did not help that I was already upset because I heard HER not J making plans to get together and go do something. As a group knowing I couldn’t come because I lived 2+ hrs away.Later that night my bf apologized and didn’t know why she touched him because she’s never done anything like that.So we put the water under the bridge until she did what I think is completely inappropriate. While her bf(J) was away she went to my bf’s(and j) apartment. When H opened the door to see who was knocking she let herself in and brought him her leftovers from a sandwich she had gotten. He messaged me after she left because he thought it was funny until he realized how upset I was(and he admitted he would have had the same reaction if it were reversed).From that point on I was completely uncomfortable with him being around her. So he started avoiding her as much as he could. K then asked J why H wouldn’t hang out anymore when she was around(why do you care if you’re there to see J?)So about a year passes and H & I get engaged. J was the best man and asked if K could come.I said I didn’t care because it was our day and she couldn’t ruin it just by being there. Well now nearly two years later he told me he wasn’t comfortable with her being there and said it’d probably be best if she didn’t attend.Not long after we got married they got engaged. She blocked me(not H)from everything so it was actually my BIL who told us they got engaged. According to social media they’ll be getting married august 2024 and J hasnt mentioned anything to my husband about it and he feels like what little communication J has with him is just to keep face.I feel like I’m the reason reason J keeps blowing off H when J always tells them they can hangout when he’s(J) back in town from law school(he never tells H when he’s in).Although H and I set and agreed on boundaries regarding K. Am I the butt hole? | WIBTAH? My husband and best friend from college are barely acquaintances now, and I feel responsible. | NTA |
10zgtgs | My friend had texted me earlier tonight and it seemed she kinda got into some bad argument with her mom. When I asked her what happened she didn’t tell me any details and just said “idk.” So I really didn’t know what had gone down between them other than had to have been pretty badShe later texts me asking if I finished a homework assignment due that tonight and I told her no, but that’ll I start it now. I start doing it and then she texts me a couple of times if I’m finished. I told her no each time. The last time she texted, she asked me if could send what I had done. I told her I had one more question left and that I’ll finish it and then send it. She then keeps texting me and I tell her to stop and wait cause I couldn’t focus. She then says something like “dude what the fuck, just answer my question.” I’m always sending her my homework when she asks too. So I got really annoyed and I snapped and told her how I find it funny that she felt so entitled to my homework that instead of doing it herself, she spent the past hour asking if I finished and rushing me. I then follow that up by saying she can figure the homework out for herself cause I’m not sending it anymore once I’m done. I usually just let people just walk all over me so I felt proud at first. But then she then responds back saying how she had been on a phone call with her dad telling him how she can’t live in the same house as her mom and then sarcastically tells me thanks for the help. I didn’t know that cause she didn’t tell me until after I snapped. I sent her the homework a couple minutes after cause I get bad. So now I feel bad and wonder if should’ve been more aware of the given situation since she had briefly mentioned to me earlier about her and her mom getting into some really bad argument or if I was justified in how I felt since I didn’t know she was having a serious talk with her dad.I know this whole situation sounds silly and dumb and just bad communication, but was what i did wrong regardless and I should just apologize? | AITA for snapping at my friend | NTA |
10z5sgu | My(15F) aunt (58F) always wants me to stay at her house for girls nights, I used to stay there a lot but as of recently do not want to attend as she has a severe drinking problem and tends to get argumentative and harasses everybody in the house when she is intoxicated. The last time I stayed over was last Halloween all my cousins were there and were all fairly tipsy but my aunt was totally drunk (this was at about midnight) I was tired of my families drunken antics and decided to go to bed which everyone was fine with apart from my aunt who decided to start going off on me and was saying that she was going to throw me out and that I could sleep outside if I was going to be rude in her house I was horrified as my family who are all adults just stood there and let her speak to me like that so I shouted at her saying that I'd rather sleep outside than be in the house with her and that I wouldn't be staying over there again if she kept acting like this as it wasn't a good look on her and went to bed. Shortly after my eldest cousin who wasn't as drunk convinced everybody to go to bed to try and sleep of their hangovers, they surprisingly complied and that was that. In the morning my aunt couldn't remember any of it and I didn't bring it up, my eldest cousin kept giving me knowing glances suggesting she was the only one who remembered the events of the night before. When I went home I told my parents what had happened the previous night and they thought I did the right thing standing up for myself. I refused to go over to my aunts on boxing day as i didn't want the argument to be brought up. The first time I seen her since Halloween was last week she was very distant from me and I to her as I didn't wish to speak to her after the tried to make a fool out of me. I think my eldest cousin told her what had happened that night after I left the following morning and that is why we hadn't spoken. I don't intend on speaking to her unless I have to anymore as her drunk behaviour ruined a perfectly good relation ship. This isn't the first time she has started an argument with a family member but I'm the only one who has stuck up for themselves. I want to say that I am not an argumentative person but I think she went too far and I felt like I had to say something because I wasn't going to be treated like that by someone who I thought was a close relativeSo AITA for confronting her | AITA For not wanting to stay at my aunts | NTA |
10z7qn8 | So my fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for over a year now, and we decided we didn’t want our wedding to have a ton of kids in attendance because we are having an open bar. We haven’t openly said “no kids,” but we let each guest know the number of people they could bring by saying “____ seats reserved in your honor.” I have two bridesmaids coming in from halfway across the country and their personal lives have situations going on where leaving their kids at home is not an option. One is a single mom with very little family and the other doesn’t have a great home life. I’ve known them for 20 years, and I don’t want a wedding without them. We also have a flower girl. All kids will be going home early, after dinner, which will be held right after the ceremony (we’re doing a first look for photos to get that out of the way). We’ve discussed that with their parents already. My fiancé has a BIG family, and had to invite a lot of people because of it. Also, pretty much all of our friends are already married, so virtually everyone has to have a plus one. Right now, our guest count is sitting at 10 people over the limit we set. However, if someone’s SO wasn’t able to come, and they wanted to bring a kid as their guest, we’d be perfectly fine with that. In total, we’re paying about $20,000 for the wedding, but we’ve paid for it ourselves because we didn’t want to burden our families with it. We believe in paying for things on our own without any help, unless it’s a really extreme circumstance. Yes, we’ve chosen to pay this amount and yes, we could have paid less, but both of us had terrible first marriages without an actual wedding, so we decided to have a big celebration since we’re not doing this a third time. We do have a lot of friends who have kids, so my fiancé is concerned that people will show up and be upset that some kids got to come but not theirs. I absolutely see his point, and I suggested being transparent with people about why we’re limiting guests if they ask, as well as explains why there will be a few kids there. He thinks it should be all kids or no kids. I still stand by my point of why two of my bridesmaids have to bring their kids.From a financial perspective, we’re paying about 125 bucks a person. some of our friends have four kids or more, and allowing everyone to bring all their kids would up the count (probably at least 40 to 50) and the money we have to pay drastically. I’m thinking from a financial perspective but also trying to be fair and am happy to explain why there are a few kids to others if they ask. I think my fiancé is trying to be fair but also make everyone happy. We seem to be at a bit of an impasse. AITA for not letting everyone bring all their kids to our wedding? | AITA for not allowing all wedding guests to bring as many kids as they want? | NTA |
10z5i4x | I’ll keep it short. I (27f) live with another f (30) and two guys (36 & 37). Me and the other girl are single, the two guys are in relationships. We all get on really well but things have always been very platonic. No sexual vibes etc. So just before Christmas the older guy, I’ll call him Tom, started seeing a girl, I’ll call her Jane. She has just got out of a marriage, as in got married in Feb 2022, and filed for divorce in October 2022. Since I’ve known Tom (he moved in in Oct), he’s seemed like one of those guys whose end goals is to be in a relationship, and from mutual friends, is a very codependent person and hates being on his own. So Tom and Jane started dating in Nov, she’s living with her parents and house hunting, but unless he is with her, he just stays in his room and makes zero effort, before he would eat with the rest of us, watch movies, go for drinks etc, but now we never see him. Not even because he’s out, but because if he’s not with Jane he is just in his room, eating or gaming. He works from home so is rarely out of the apartment. Recently Jane has started coming over more and more, this week she has been over 6 nights. It’s a small apt, one bathroom etc, and it feels like she’s encroaching. She also seems to have shoes made out of lead as she is so heavy footed it’s ridiculous. So…. AITA for wanting to say something (5 nights is a lot and not unusual for her, they’ve been dating three months…) even though she clearly makes him happy she’s also constantly is his room, so unless passing in the corridor and hearing them talking it’s not a big deal.EDIT: Didn’t mention that the other guy who is also in a relationship splits his time between his partner being here and him being at his partners. E.g he’ll be away 3 nights, and then they’ll both be here 3 nights. They have also been together 4 years. | AITA for wanting to tell my flatmate his girlfriend shouldn’t be here 5 nights a week? | NTA |
10zckx9 | Hey everyone- first and foremost, I (32M) have not brought this up with my partner Fiona (27F) yet. My partner and I are married, and have been together for 4 years. She has expressed at times that she is bi-sexual, and other times saying that she’s not, but falls somewhere on a sliding scale of queer sexuality. I’m happy that she’s so open and honest about her sexuality, as I am a little queer as well.She has a good friend Chelsea, who has not identified as queer and is in a straight relationship for 7+ years. Chelsea appears and dresses very masc and has alluded to being queer without explicitly saying so (my partner has told me this on a few different occasions)Chelsea has a partner, Nick, and we usually all hang out together in group settings. In group settings, Chelsea and Fiona often seek one another and cuddle up on the couch. There have been a few times we have been together in a party setting, where I’ll notice Chelsea’s body language and sometimes Fiona’s as they lean into one another with their heads rested against the back of the chair. Fiona and Chelsea share the same mental illness (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and often bond over that- they talk daily, and go for walks weekly.I notice Chelsea getting uncomfortably close with Fiona at times, and Chelsea’s eyes gravitate towards Fiona’s lips or her lower face during moments of laughter or giggling, much like how a kiss might transpire on a couch. I’m worried to bring this up to Fiona as I don’t want to come across as crazy or insecure. But their closeness genuinely makes me uncomfortable at times and I don’t want to be an asshole about it.Is there a good way to bring this up without looking like an asshole?Edit: Chelsea has NOT identified as queer outright | AITA for feeling threatened by my partner’s bi-sexual friend? | NAH |
10ze50n | So my friend can be a little oblivious( let’s call her Mindy) and I usually don’t let it bug me, but this time it went to far. There’s this guy I’m good friends with (let’s call him mark) who my friends think likes me (I don’t like him). Mindy goes up to mark and asks him do you like random-human-1 and he just kind of stutters and changes the subject (I’m not here for this but that’s what she said happened). I here about this from my other friend (let’s call her Ellie) so I go and confront Mindy and she rolls her eyes and says its not a big deal in a sarcastic tone. I’m a little annoyed now so I tell her she shouldn’t have done that without my permission and she just rollers her eyes and says I’m being dramatic. Me and Ellie leave and are talking about how rude Mindy was when Mindy comes up and says something like “I guess I should say sorry please don’t cause drama let’s just forget about this” in a annoyed tone. I say fine I guess and then I talk a little more with Ellie. Later Mindy notices that I’m being weird around her and flips out. She says that I’m triggering her insecurity about how her words affect others and that I’m making a huge deal about nothing. Most of our friends are on my side but I’m wondering if this is all my fault. | AITAH for not forgiving my friend | NTA |
10zfqsl | Howdy, this stories a bit long so bear w me….. Around September of last year I had plans to leave for army basic training. My ship out date was rapidly approaching and I begun having second thoughts about the whole thing. I called my grandfather who I had always looked up too from when I was young who also just so happened to be an army vet. I told him about what I was thinking and he invited me over to his house for dinner. Over the phone he briefly explained about how he thought the whole army thing was a bad idea for me personally. I made it to his house and we talked. I explained my many reasons for joining in which he believed were not very smart and told me I should only join for the soul factor of serving my country. Some of my reasons included a chance to travel, meet new friends,dodge the potential recession and help me get a job later in life. He then said I should get into the trades instead. Keep in mind my grandfather was a union carpenter for many years and eventually owned his own construction company. I explained to him that the trades wouldn’t be that good for me due to my severe dyscalculia and my extreme hatred towards mathematics. He then asked “well what are you gonna do when you leave the army?” I then talked about getting into some field of public safety afterwards like firefighting/ police and told him an army background usually helps with stuff like that. He explained to me it’s a bad idea to get into that because cops and firemen make “poverty wages” according to him.He also explained about how there is no recession because everyone is hiring. I ended up taking his advice and opted out. Fast forward about a week I got a job as a painter apprentice in which I was fired after 2 n a half weeks for basically being bad at my job. I would later get a job with my buddies landscaping business. That didn’t work out so I quit and begun a new job search. I would later have lunch with him during this time. We talked about mostly normal things but it eventually led to him saying “throwawaymaster your 19 you gotta know what you want to do with your life at this age” I kinda just shrugged for the most part. Fast forward about another month I text him asking about what trade unions he could get me in. He would then go on to tell me most places would be reluctant to hire because of the looming recession in which if we go back to September when stated there was no recession. Now you can tell I’m pissed not to mention with painting/landscaping I have made little to no money and I’m now stuck working fast food. I really want to tell him how pissed I am it him I just don’t know if I’ll be in the right. Anyways my phone is melting from me typing this massive paragraph feel free to ask an questions or be brutally honest… | AITA for wanting to confront my Grandfather who gave me really bad advice? | INFO |
10z9bu6 | I (15M) am Indian. This incident has kept me up, and I need to know whether what I did was wrong.This started a few days ago. Some students were outside a classroom, waiting for a teacher, and I was one of them. A person I will call Tom (15M) was also outside. Note that Tom is a prefect. Tom is also friends with Harry (15M) who hates my guts.Tom was chatting with one of Harry's friends while I was also in the vicinity, although not partaking in the conversation. Tom said, "I hate Hindus." So I turned around, being a Hindu. He continued, "In that, I hate Brahmins," and pointed at me, "Like this guy." Tom is an Indian-Muslim (such that he knows the caste system well enough.)And for those who don't, here's a quick crash course, in order of the supposed "hierarchy":Brahmins: Scholars, PriestsKshatriyas: Kings, WarriorsVaishyas: Farmers, Traders, etc.Shudras: Labourers/WorkersDalits: "Outcasts"Note that I don't really believe in this system, but I respect my own culture and don't hate other people who are of different races, and stuff like that.I was really taken aback by his comment and I felt like it attacked me on a personal level. (Am I being too sensitive here?) So I walked away somewhere else.There were no other Hindus in that group, which made my situation worse.Fast forward to a day later, when my class chat is "gossiping" about people, including Tom, I tell them that Tom specifically said that he "hates hindus" as a passing remark. (I guess I was just really pissed about the whole situation.) While many people didn't believe me, there were some people who said things like "expected". An hour-ish later, a mutual acquaintance of Tom and I says in the chat that he wanted to clarify that he hated Brahmins "historically", and not Hindus as a whole. Tom also wanted to say that the remark was a joke.Note that I had only met Tom around three before this, and in all of them, Harry was also with Tom telling him shit like "Look at him [me], do you think he even does anything useful?" or "Look at his ugly face, who even gave birth to him?" etc., etc.Harry has also given me shit for being Brahmin, so I guess I just assumed that Tom was doing the same. (Harry is an Indian Hindu but not a Brahmin.)Of course, Tom's "clarification" caused a lot of backlash, with people saying that I was twisting Tom's words, and stuff like that. Most of these people were also Harry's friends, who hate me as well.I impulsively lashed back that Tom did not bother to clarify this with me at all, and it wasn't my fault for misinterpreting his remark.I should also clarify that all I told my class chat was that Tom said that he hated Hindus, and I said nothing about Brahmins at all. (out of embarrassment lol)So, AITA? We have since apologised through our mutual acquaintance, but I have no idea how this is going to affect me in the future. I also don't know if what Tom said actually was a joke or not.Thank you for reading through this shitshow of a post :) | AITA for misinterpreting (I think) a racist remark? | NTA |
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