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10zfm05 | Hey Reddit, I've just made an account because something has been troubling me a bit and wanted to get some further advice (and it's a useful site but that's beside the point). I've been writing a series of novels for the past 2 years now, creating a universe and set of stories to tell within this world. I'm super proud of what I've made but I keep running into an issue. I have a cowriter on the project but she doesn't keep pace with me. I am understanding that given her age, she has a different set of priorities than I do (she's 73 and I'm 24) but I've started feeling like she's freeloading off the project. I was okay with it for a short time until she started trying to mess with the gender identity of a species I had developed. I tried explaining that chromosomes have no play in gender and this is a future species to try and capture a genderless future. She then told me I was mansplaining to her and refused to talk to me for a week.After this, I kept working on the project but I began breaking down what she had created in the universe. It was a total of 6 character names, not the characters but just their names. A few days ago we got into another argument because I wanted to use the word Shamanka (a feminine shaman) instead of the word Priestess, which has led to another bout of silence. I then realized that a 2 and a half hour conversation with my father about potential alternatives for the Cold War had a greater impact on the universe than she had.At this point, I am considering dropping my co-writer but am not sure if it's the right thing to do. On the one hand, I'm being met with conflict around basic concepts but on the other, she's an old woman who enjoys reading over the book and doesn't have a lot going on in life. She helps edit the book but then gets offended if I call her an editor. I'm at a point where I can change the names and just boot her from the project. I'm very tempted to too. AITA here?EDIT: Most of her major notes for the current draft of the novel are disliking the word prologue and not reading past chapter one because she hasn't set aside the time in over a week. I update her consistently via text as well but get no response or creative feedback except when it's about something that's minor in the scheme of story. Like a dog having more presence in the story (that's an actual example) | AITA Creative Conflict | NTA |
10z7e8x | My daughter's first birthday is this upcoming Monday, which is the day we are celebrating it.My husband and I are living with my mother temporarily so things are rough with planning stuff out.My sister texted me asking me what we are doing for babys birthday. I said, "Staying home, gonna make a cake for her. We were planning on going to the children's museum that Saturday or Sunday beforehand and going to get her a birthday build a bear". She didn't ask what day, she never texts me to talk about plans with the baby but messages my mom or they talk on the phone and then my mom ends up "nudging" me to do things differently than I wanted to just for my sister.This is my daughter's first birthday and we are also celebrating an entire year of my husband and I surviving the hardest year of our lives so far. We weren't concerned with anyone coming over to celebrate and if people wanted to that's fine.My sister hardly ever makes an effort to come see my daughter unless it's the holidays. She never comes to ME about things and ends up hurt because she goes through my mom. Maybe once or twice she has and that's it. And when she does visit, it isn't long. My mom pressures me to talk to my sister but never tells her to talk to me when I'm the mother of her niece. I've even told her and told my mom to tell my sister to come to me about shit but hardly ever follows that. | AITA for not having my daughter's first birthday celebration on a weekend? | NTA |
10zfeee | I (F) experienced something that (imo) was traumatic to me. For sake of brevity and confidentiality, I’m going to be vague about the event, but I not only was physically injured, but the event has had a huge impact on my mental health. I decided to press charges immediately and it has taken a while for the case to progress. I learned the sentencing hearing for the defendant about a month in advance and that has been extremely difficult for me, as the choice was mine whether I would give a victim impact statement or not (they plead guilty). I decided not to under advisement from my therapist, due to the mental and emotional impact it would cause me.Fast forward to today. Court date is approaching, and I had taken the day off of work in advance because I know I will not be in the right frame of mind to go to work. When we talked about it previously, he had said he would support me and be there for me, which I interpreted literally, so I assumed he would be with me that day. That is apparently not what he meant. I got upset, because this was a traumatic event for me and I wanted his support by being physically with me that day, even though I am not physically going to court. He is going to work that day (he works long hours,as in 12 hour days) so I wouldn’t see him practically at all. He is mad at me for getting upset, saying that he doesn’t want to disappoint his coworkers by not being at work. My sister has offered to take the day off of work the be with me, as has my mom, so I do have other support outside of him, which is where I may be TA for getting mad. AITA for wanting him to take the day off of work/getting upset that he wont?Context: we have been dating for 4 years and live together. | AITA for wanting my BF to stay home from work? | NTA |
10zbg85 | Hey everyone,So my cousin, (let's say T) (18M) and I (19M) have basically grown up with each other since birth, as well as having gone to the same high-school and playing in the same football (soccer) club. In essence, we consider each others as brothers and would defend each other if something was to happen to the either of us.However, the other day during club fitness training, we were grouped into twos so that one person can record the time of the other. In essence, the training was basically suicides, but we had to run back and forth from the goal-line to the halfway line 5 times in total. I obviously grouped up with my cousin whilst right next us were two of my closest high school mates, lets just call them C and J (18M and 19M respectively). Everything went accordingly in the beginning when it was the first group's turn, which included me and J. However the problem began when it was T and C's turn. As the second group started their runs, I could already sense that both T and C were trying to beat each other's time, both using unsportsmanlike methods such as nudging and pushing. By the final lap, T was well ahead of C, and although I wasn't paying a 100% attention, I did briefly see C blocking the path of T so that he could slow him down. When they both finished, both of them were blaming each other and even got heated up to the point where fists were about to be thrown between each other.At this point the coach brought all four of us to ask what exactly happened, and T and C were obviously screaming their sides of the story. Meanwhile, the coach asked J and I what we saw, to which J first stated how he wasn't paying 100% attention on how the situation unfolded. As for myself, I was contemplating in telling the coach that I saw C blocking T, but I ended up saying the same thing as J. My reasons for this were that if I was to take a side, the situation simply won't calm down between the two and the blame would ultimately be fallen on me from whoever takes the punishment. Furthermore, I wasn't even a 100% sure why or what led to the incident in the first place so it wasn't easy for me to say T was all that innocent from the beginning. In the end, the coach banned both T and C from training for 2 weeks for disrupting the training session.On our way home, T told me how disappointed he was at me for not sticking up for him, saying he would have stood up for me in situations like this. He has been very pissed off at me for the past couple of days.Should I have stuck up for him? WITA? | AITA for not defending my cousin? | NTA |
10z9zc5 | My parents gifted money for my wedding and reception. My fianceé and I decided that we wanted to do a private ceremony a few months before public vows and a reception. My family is upset with this decision and has asked that we cancel our public wedding/reception and return the money gifted. They said they don't care if we give back amounts already paid to vendors. We have chosen to continue with our plan to host a public event. AITA? | AITA for not returning a gift of money? | YTA |
10zf8a1 | Please excuse any grammatical errors, I’m currently on my mobile phone and exhausted. I can’t sleep because now I feel bad.My husband used to work night shift and is on leave from work. He had a seizure two months ago while at work and stays home now. He can’t drive and stays up all night playing video games. (I’m a gamer too so I’m not mad about him pew pewing all night)He’s been doing okay and try my best to spend as much time with him as possible.I work over an hour away and the job is essentially my dream job. I make really good money so I can support the family. My husband hasn’t got paid yet on short term but I’m not upset and I’m just happy he is home and safe. During the week I stay in the town I work at with one of my two sisters. One has young children who are loud little boys and stay up late. Needless to say I don’t sleep well. My other sister smokes and between my allergies and the uncomfortable couch, I don’t sleep good there either. Usually a on Friday I make the drive home and my husband and I hang out like we always do. He plays his ps5 in our room and I read or play on my steam deck. This week has been tough on me. Several projects at work, things going wrong, and lack of sleep. On Sunday nights my husband will hang out in the living room so I get rested up for the week. Tonight (On a Friday) I asked if it would be okay for a dark room. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep. He made me feel bad and wasn’t even going to give me a hug before he left the room. No offer to lay and cuddle etc. I just felt like I needed to sleep. Now I can’t because I feel guilty. I tried to get him to stay after the fact but he refused. I feel like I should not have been made to feel guilty. I work my butt off and want some quiet time. I’d move to the living room but our 19 year old son just moved back in from his bio dads and we haven’t got the basement fixed up for him yet. So he’s in the living room as well. It would not be quiet since he stays up all night too. AITA? | AITA for wanting to sleep in a dark room? | NTA |
10zf56t | She is his ex. He states that they’ve been friends for a long time. She lives in a different state. They broke up several years ago when she cheated on him and had a baby with another man. He wanted to stay with her so he tried persuading her to have an abortion, which she didn’t and now has a child. Fast forward to now, he reaches out to her monthly, and they talk over the phone. They keep in touch regarding life, family and business. They give each other advice. This includes my fiancé asking her for advice regarding OUR relationship. Once we were having a disagreement about finances and I saw that he texted her “why are relationships so hard” and then I saw they had a 30 minute conversation on the phone together. After that conversation, he was more open to seeing my perspective I think so perhaps she is non biased.I only really started to feel uncomfortable when he paid $100 for her to make him a pillow. But this was a “boob pillow”. He never told me about this purchase and I come home and see very realistic detailed breasts that are 3x bigger than mine, with nipple piercing. He says he bought them from her and is confused when I’m shocked and hurt by this.I told him this is getting much and he needs to stop talking to her. And his response is that she’s his only real female friend, the only female in his life from which he can get a genuine perspective. Obviously I would feel bad for asking him to cut ties with his ONLY “genuine” female friend. But it should be noted I am worried this is only providing an open door for possible future infidelity. I’ve had to intercept his contact with ex’s in the past when it included reaching out to one behind my back and deleting those texts, sending her money, and watching old sex videos of her. He cut off ALL ties with that particular ex, but it has made me wary. When I asked him what’s keeping him from getting back with this current ex he’s talking to, he mentioned reasons that did not include me as a factor. Am I an asshole for insisting he break this relationship off too? | AITA for demanding my fiancé have strict cessation of contact with his female friend? | NTA |
10z5uiw | For context I am a 21 year old male, I live with with my uncle, we both work in a sign shop together and this happened today cause of course it did. The conversation was this afternoon when I was tapping up leds on a sign, he asked if he could use my phone to call my aunt, I oblige and let him call my aunt then gave my phone back to me, he then asked if he could use if for pictures, I kindly and calmly said no he couldn't, he then asked why and I responded calmly not rude whatsoever "I just don't want you to use my phone at the moment".Then he tells me that "I don't want to drive you to work anymore then", I ask why he's do made and he said he needs to take pictures and asked to use my phone once again, I still said no I wasn't mean to him at all.Then later today at 2:30 he starts getting ready to leave I do as well l, we both leave at 1:30 but we needed to stay to get extra stuff done, I set my stuff down to clock put then walk into the bathroom to wash my hands, as soon as I walk out I see his truck leave so I walked out with my stuff to get in the truck but he keeps going then leaves me at work.Was I in the wrong for not letting him use my phone?(Note he left his at a friend's house) | AITA For nit letting my uncle use my phone? | NTA |
10z9q7a | Ok some background i (15M) have some friends, Oscar (15M) George (16M) and my younger sister Alex (14F) this week I planned a DND (dungeons and dragons) session with all of us. We spent around half an hour setting up and making characters (George is the dungeon master in this story.) Eventually we go around and start saying our character names but Alex and Oscar keep saying ridiculous names like Queefmaster69 or whoppereater32. At this point I start getting upset as I’ve been working all week to plan this so I ask them to be more serious about it and they say ok. We start playing and not even 10 minutes into it they start up again so I ask again and they say ok. They keep the cycle of me asking them to be serious and them saying they will before starting up again for 20 minutes. Soon enough George gets pissed off and starts packing up to leave and Oscar and Alex ask why. George won’t answer them as he’s almost packed up to go. I start going off on them about how I planned this all week and they couldn’t even be serious about it for 30 minutes. Now they’re acting like I have no right to be upset. I’m scared that they won’t wanna be friends with me after I blew up at them tonight. But am I the asshole? | AITA for getting upset at my friends? | NTA |
10z9dql | Apparently, I’m an asshole here.For starters, I work for a jewelry store….retail to put it in better perspective for people…. Not only do I work in retail, I’m the district training store manager for my district. Today is an amazing day…today I got to somewhat celebrate my 8th anniversary…and by somewhat …I mean I was the only one who celebrated. (Got him a gift) Working in an industry that sells jewelry so close to Valentine’s Day is pretty stressful. Not only that, I have an entire brand new team. I have a new assistant manager, and 2 new Keysales in which only 1 keysale has their keys as there is a very extensive training period before you get keys to my store….with that said, my store would’ve crashed and burned without me. I requested today off a while ago and was very hopeful id be able to have the day off…I knew I was going to have a big sale, I just didn’t really know when until the last week of Jan. I knew this was going to upset him and I tried my best to make up for it after I got off work yesterday..I went and got him what I thought was A very thoughtful gift…I drank an energy drink to make sure I could hopefully stay up late with him to be able to spend some time with him as I knew I had to work the next day (today) Alllll dayyyy long…He thinks I should just be able to take days off and call out sick whenever I please but I know what’s at stake for my job. Not just my job but for the position I worked so hard to get, I pay majority of the bills around here, granted yes he has sacrificed a lot, but so have I. And I know he paid majority of the bills too for a while but I try not to “tit for tat” things. Ive gotten the cold shoulder all day today.Am I the asshole here ?! | AITA for not calling out sick for my anniversary…. | NTA |
10zepic | I (female) broke up with my ex because he has trouble understanding things from my point of view (even though he always said he understood and then always brought up the issues days or weeks later). He always got upset or felt down whenever I would decline his ask of sex and then when we would have a conversation about it, he would say that it's a need for him and his physical touch/touch deprivation. I understood that but I always told him I'm not a sexual person so he has to be patient with me and just let it happen. My feelings slowly faded away from him and he decided to look through my phone while I was asleep because he felt like he was losing me to a friend I met playing video games (he said he felt neglected anytime I would play video games because i would stay up until the sun came out and he wouldn't have anyone to cuddle)Disclaimer: we lived together days before we even started dating. We work at the same place and shared a car which my mother co-signed for. We did literally everything together and he said that working and sleeping together wasn't spending time with each other. After we broke up, I spent days and weeks blaming myself for everything and i did take responsibility for everything wrong I did in the relationship. I'm not perfect and I have come to accept my flaws and try every day to fix my wrong doings. My friend (now boyfriend) got me out of my rut and choose to sit down with me and listen to everything I have to say. He listens and asks questions and shows signs that he truly wants to understand my point of view. I know moving on fast is not ideal but we never planned on dating. We thought it would end at friendship but things happened and feelings got in the way. Fast forward to recent days (beginning of this month), i found out, by myself, that my ex and my now ex best friend had been seeing each other. I wasn't told the time frame when I confronted my ex about it but weeks have gone by and i still feel hurt and disrespected. I have tried to voice out my feelings -- more towards my ex than my ex best friend -- but it always seems to go over his head. He says it's none of my business and part of me knows I have every right to be upset because who would do that to someone who says they always have your back and they'll always be there for you? People at our job found out on their own and has reached out to me saying that what they did was not right. Though part of me feels absolutely destroyed, the feeling of anger and disrespect overthrows any sad feeling I have. Am i an asshole for getting attached to this situation and getting very angry towards the both of them and the actions they've made? | AITA for getting mad at my ex and ex best friend? | YTA |
10z5u26 | I (f20) recently moved away for Uni and started my first semester in the fall. Right on the first day I met a group of girls and we started going to classes together, seeing each other at Uni but we never really met up outside of Uni. Right at the beginning one of the girl from the group, A, found a guy (J) she thought was really attractive and started daydreaming about him a lot although they had never spoken and started talking about him a lot. I started feeling a bit unhappy with the whole group, I am the only one who moved to the city and is looking to make new friends apparently, and they never really wanted to hang out outside of studying occasionally. Recently I met a girl in my semester and we really hit it off (she’s also from my home town). She’s good friends with J and once A found out about this she was head over heels, this was her ticket in. She started asking me if I want to go out with her and do stuff because she wanted me to invite my new friend and J to come along. I did once and A and J said maybe two words to each other, but A is crushing even more than ever and is certain he is too. The problem is, he isn’t. He asked me out for Valentine’s Day next week, and when I told him no and what about A he said he didn’t even really remember her. I’m absolutely not interested in J, I’ve been in a happy relationship for three years and never felt like I was giving him any signals, but A found out about him asking me and is furious. She and another girl keep saying I stole him from her and broke girl code. Some of the girls are on my side, but I’m definitely having doubts. I do feel guilty because I did talk to him quite a bit in class and actually did get along with him quite well in a platonic way. I never felt like I was trying to steal him from anyone, but maybe I was out of line for spending more time with him around and getting to know him without trying to include A? | AITA for stealing my friends crush | NTA |
10zc2va | Hi all,Around 8 years ago I was casually dating my female best friend, both of us were fresh out of relationships and we thought it’d be a swell idea to hook upAs it was, in my eyes, casual, I also slept with other girls at the same time, unbeknownst to her of course. I’m generally knows as a reserved person so I only really told my best male mate that I was with a few girls at one time, I didn’t tell him who the girls were of course, it was more of an early 20’s gloat. As these things go, my female best mate started to have feelings for me, I told her I’m not keen for a relationship but she persisted and still wanted to hook up. Really, I should’ve have taken this as me going too far but I hooked up with her anyway. Eventually, we stopped hooking up and a year or so later my female best mate(hook up buddy) and my male best mate started dating. She told him everything about me and her and how she fell in love with me but I didn’t feel the same this created a small rift between us 3 which blew over. Somewhere, at some time I am almost sure my male best mate told his new partner (my female best mate) that I’d been sleeping with other girls at the same time which caused her to cut ties with me, ignoring me at parties, unfollowing me etc. In the interim my male mate and I have gone back to being best mates again. Now they’re getting married this weekend at a huge function and although I’m still in the same friends circle as them and I’m still incredibly close with the male, they haven’t invited me to their wedding and I can’t help but feel upset and sad about it. Like I get it, but also how does my best mate not invite me to his wedding?Also more background, I’m the one who introduced them to each other way way back in our late Teens. TLDR: hooked up with my best mates current to be wife before they were together and now I’m not invited to the wedding. AITA? | AITA for not being invited to my best mates wedding | YTA |
10z7qu9 | My mom passed away over a year ago. My mom had always said that she wished to be cremated. We found a place that would do a cremation for $1,900. We decided to divide the total between the 5 of us ($380 each). 4 of us paid our part but 1 person. They kept saying that they didn’t have the money but always had the money to go out and eat and go places. They have a good job. They don’t pay rent because they stay in my parent’s home. They pay a few bills but that’s it. This went on until recently when I finally snapped at them and told them to quit being a d*ck and pay their part so we could get my mom’s ashes out. They begrudgingly paid their part but now they are upset with me and not talking to me. AITA for snapping at them ? | AITA for snapping at them ? | NTA |
10z8x5e | This is a burner account.Long story short, my gf and I live separately. We both can’t afford to live together so we still live with our parents. We’re both in our mid 20s. She lives with her mom and younger siblings in a smaller apartment in Chicago. Her place is connected with other adjacent apartments via plumbing. I was gonna go stay with her overnight (we’ve done this multiple times before) but she told me her place doesn’t have running water (shower, bathroom, sink out of order). She told me this last minute as I was about to head over. I told her I wasn’t feeling comfortable as I would be the guest staying there and that I don’t want to be a burden if I needed to go 1 or 2 during the night and the toilet doesn’t work. She regardless wanted me to come but I was extremely hesitant and kept saying no. We barely get to see each other and I promised we’d see each other tonight, but told her we could reschedule for tomorrow once the water comes back on. I just don’t know if I’m being a jerk or if I should just suck it up and go to her. | AITA for not going to my gf place? | NAH |
10zc1u4 | So basically me and my friend were planning where we wanted to eat for lunch that day. We talk about how we want to go to a more cute place with trendy stylings. The place I brought up was more expensive so she proposes we eat at a Peruvian restaurant. I’m not really a fan a Peruvian food and the place isn’t pretty to me so I call it ugly. She gets mad and says I should just pick a place but while I was thinking over it I decided that the Peruvian place would be the better option as it is less expensive so I decide we should go after all. She gets obviously mad through text and I ask her what’s wrong. She says that this is just another instance of me being argumentative. I was confused and asked her what I meant. She said that I don’t let her express her thoughts and just rebuttal them and she brought up her wanting to apply to a prestigious summer camp in dc. We live in Washington state. So I cautioned her with things such as price, transportation, and prestigious status. She later brings up in the text that I shouldn’t have questioned why she wanted to go and support her. This instance happened again when we were getting smoothies. We were having a conversation on why humans lost most of their hair when they evolved and she brings up a joke about how it must have been for looks and we just willed ourselves to lose hair. She looks dead serious so I’m assuming she’s serious and bring up scientific points and she rebutted them. She then gets mad and says it’s hard to have a conversation with me because of how argumentative I am. She gives me a disgusted look that she repeatedly gives me whenever I say something that deters from what I’m supposed to do. I’m pissed at her so we walk back to the bus stop in silence. Later I ask her what’s her problem with me and she says she just can’t deal with me at times. I really don’t think I’m the a- hole in this situation but maybe I’m biased. In order to perserve our friendship I already apologized for the first scenario in which I said even though I didn’t understand why she was mad I apologize. She says I shouldn’t have questioned her when she was upset over text and that I should have just apologized immediately without asking for more evidence of my wrongdoings. I feel like I’m being misused for my more pacifist nature. So Reddit, aita | AITA for being argumentative in a conversation with a friend | NTA |
10z69wm | Hi, back in December my friends suggested going on a trip in March. I have been studying for the MCAT, and I thought that I was going to take it in January at the time so I agreed for the trip. I was not ready for the January date and I must postpone until March, I don't want to wait until April. There are two dates available: March 11th, and March 26th. The trip is from the 12-19th. I am leaning towards March 26th for the test date, however, that would mean that I would arrive back from vacation one week before my exam. I am not sure if I want to do that, I was considering going for less days as well but as a whole I wish this was pushed back a few weeks. I asked my friends a few weeks ago if they were open to switching dates, but one of my friends has her spring break that week and returns to school the following weeks. We have our flights booked and we have an airbnb in mind that we haven't booked but are planning to this weekend. I essentially need to either take my exam the day before, go for a few days and come back early, or not go at all. AITA If I fully cancel? (I really do not want cancel to as these are my bestfriends and a trip like this would happen maybe once a year-two, I have been studying for the MCAT for a while and I don't know realistically how much 2 weeks of a difference would be, I am feeling very stuck) | AITA For cancelling a trip a month in advance? | NTA |
10z9hs2 | My wife (40F}, son (6M), and I (41M) were shopping for a souvenir at a tourist shop at Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. A few minutes after we purchased a $35 gift and had set off down the street, my wife told me the clerk had been rude to her.Here's what my wife said:When it seemed like we were going to walk out empty handed, the clerk asked my wife if she was her son's grandmother, and when my wife corrected her, the clerk said my wife must have been old when she had him.My wife was taken aback by these comments, but we bought the gift anyway. I hadn't heard the clerk's comments, and said we should get the gift because her uncle would really like it.After we left the store, my wife told me what had happened. I convinced her to let me return the item, even though I assumed there would be a no-returns policy.I went back to the store alone and explained the situation, saying I'd like to return the gift because the clerk had insulted my wife.She was livid, said I was a terrible person for claiming she had been rude, and refused to return the item. It was the store policy to deny returns, and I could only swap my gift for another item.The argument escalated. I went from calmly talking to the clerk to loudly telling new customers to shop somewhere where the clerks aren't so rude. She kept telling me I was terrible. It was an ugly scene.Eventually, I said I would just keep the gift and tell my credit card to cancel the purchase. It was an empty threat because there's no way a credit card company would cancel the charge for an item that wasn't broken, but the clerk believed me and became even more upset.Eventually, another customer convinced the clerk to just let me return the item.The argument took about 20 minutes.I was pretty shaken afterward because I hate confrontation and was pretty obviously a jerk. The customer who eventually helped convince the clerk said I should drop in because I need to pick my battles. I said this was the battle I picked. I don't pick fights with clerks, and wouldn't have in this situation either except I wanted to defend my wife's honor.Am I the asshole? Is the clerk? Were we both assholes? And more importantly, how should I have acted? My wife was noticeably hurt so I didn't want to just leave the matter. Could I have gotten my money back without being an asshole? | AITA -- Heated argument with store clerk | YTA |
10zh7bz | Eh, this is kind of weird to talk about but I'll try.So my Aunt Lisa was married to Mark for several years. They had my cousin Mika together. Mark died when Mika and I were small. I really don't remember Mark. Mika and I are the same age btw. We had other cousins who were older and younger as well. Some remember Mark, others don't. So Lisa married again when Mika was 7. Her husband Dan had two kids of his own. Macey and Riley. They were just a couple of years older than Mika. Lisa and Dan were both so happy since both lost their first spouses. The adults in our family were all so excited too and were eager for Mika to have siblings and a father figure. They were so excited to have Macey and Riley be part of the family too. Everyone called the three of them siblings. The adults all considered them as thick as thieves. But to the kids in the family, me included, we knew they weren't close. We knew Macey and Riley didn't consider Mika their brother. We knew Mika didn't see Macey and Riley as his siblings either. They didn't actually play together or hang out. Most of the time Macey and Riley would pretend to join us but just go do their own thing. Mika told us that in school most people didn't even know they all lived together and they kept their lives very separate outside the house. That never changed. They all grew up and now they have no relationship at all.There was some debate going on recently because my parents, uncle, Lisa and Dan all saw on social media that Macey and Riley went on a sibling trip without Mika. It shocked them and brought up some stuff. The rest of my cousins stayed out of the way while they talked but I was sitting there, listening and they were talking about how close they always had been and stuff, and I didn't keep quiet and I asked them if they really still believed that even after that. They asked what I meant and I told them they had never been close, that they were never claiming each other as siblings or being super tight. They couldn't believe it and dragged some cousins in to ask, who confirmed what I said. I told them all of us as kids knew they weren't close and we figured eventually all the adults would figure it out as well. Lisa and Dan were furious that I didn't tell them back then. Lisa told me that as her nephew I should have wanted to help them fix it, and to make them aware so they could do better. Dan told me I had helped make his and Lisa's life with adult kids more difficult if they had to worry their kids would never speak again when they die. My parents were shocked I never said anything to them about it before.There is some anger there, from Lisa and Dan, and they have said I'm wrong for not saying it when I was a kid. So I gotta ask AITA? | AITA for not telling the adults in my family about my cousins before now? | NTA |
10zh43l | I just moved into my new apartment today and I had a friend visit me from out of town. Apartment is 1bed/1 bath. He ends up bringing another girl from his town and they both stay with me. He also invited another friend while we are here. Well we go out and come back and are hanging out in living. His friends ( the girl) goes to sleep in my bed. I let her for an hour or so but when I’m ready for bed I wake her and ask her to move to the living room. The other 2 guys are in there and I hear him say to her “did she kick you out???” I said “sorry girls name” and closed the door. AMITA for kicking acquaintance out of my bed? | AITA for kicking girl out of my bed | NTA |
10zh431 | AITH for refusing to talk to my husband after her swears at me?My husband always swears at me when he gets annoyed and I’ve asked him for years not to swear at me because it’s disrespectful and makes me feel worthless and unloved. He did it again this morning again ( it’s been a few times this week now) and I walked off and did my own thing all day. We haven’t spoken since and he’s ignoring me. AITH for not talking to him until he acknowledges that it’s not ok to talk to me like that. | AITA AITH for refusing to talk to my husband of M4 years M46 after her swears at me F43? | NTA |
10zgzh8 | My daughter, Izzy who’s 13 was bullied all throughout primary school, because of this she ended up leaving school and we’ve been doing homeschooling these last couple of years, her grades have never been better because of this but she’s also been struggling a lot with making friends, last year she got back in touch with a friend from her old dance school, Beth and they’ve been inseparable. As a mother I’ve always been a bit concerned about Beth, she’s only 14 and yet I know she smokes and drinks, i do know that she’s not encouraging my daughter to do any of this though, and while I have let her parents know when I’ve seen her getting herself into trouble but they don’t seem to care, I try to stay out it though as I don’t want to ruin my daughters relationship with her best friend. They’ve been to a few parties together but I’ve always made sure they have a strict curfew and gotten in touch with the host’s parents. Izzy recently asked to go to a party that I know will have a lot of drinking and even smoking, all thd kids there are between 16-18 as well, I was very strict with a no but Izzy is refusing to accept it. My husband suggested I get some face masks and make a girly movie night for her that night but when I asked Izzy she yelled at me and slammed the door in my face. I’m not sure what to do now, the parties tomorrow and I need to make sure that Izzy isn’t going, she keeps calling me a b*tch and all sorts of horrible things, I’m starting to think that I am in the wrong but also as a mother I have boundaries and just because Beth is allowed to go to this party doesn’t mean Izzy should be allowed to go. | AITA for not letting my daughter go to a party? | NTA |
10z6d8j | throwaway account​Update: after reading some of the comments, i have decided that if we cannot come to an agreement then i will just out source the materials from the roofing supply depot as to not use any of my companys resources. this way his opinion on me doing a side job no longer matters. im not doing anywork for an active customer so the non compete does not apply. and i will continue doing my job nothing more nothing less. i manage a gutter company now for 10 years. i get paid hourly and make like maybe 3% commission on certain things. i know the inner workings of the company i know all the suppliers ive ever sourced some of our main suppliers though my own contacts. i essentially have complete access to all our materials and equipment and good relationships with all our installers and workers who are sub contracted. so on occasion ill make a deal with a sub and buy the materials and have him install them pay him cash and then either physically help with the job or pay him extra and then keep the remaining profit. ive done this maybe 3 or 4 times in the 10 years ive worked here.now a few weeks ago owner of the company saw me in the truck over the weekend and asked what i was doing. i said i had a side job and then produced recipts for all the materials basically saying yea im not stealing from you but i did admit i wasnt upfront because he gets difficult when it comes to side work.so now i have another opportunity for a side job, since i have debt im trying to pay off fast these side jobs can net me over $1k profit most of the time. so me wanting to foster an open and honest relationship with my employer and supposed "friend" and be transparent i say hey i have a potential side job and i want you to feel comfortable with me doing this how can we make it work and he says im not comfortable with you doing side work. so im like why? and he says i signed a not compete and he cant have me competing with him. which i say its not a customer. the non compete only applys to essentially stealing cusotmers. so whats the issue? he says im not a contractor. and im like so what? ive been running a gutter company for 10 years why cant i do a side job? he said we will talk another time about it since its friday and he was on his way out. but he really rubbed me the wrong way with that no compete shit technically the non compete expired anyway. so im hoping when we talk again we can come to an agreement.cause honestly i coudl jsut take our truck after he leaves and no one would even know unless he jsut so happend to see me like he did last time. or i can just cut him out all together get materials straight from the supplier and have them dopped off for maybe $250 sur charge. but like what the hell have i worked fro him for 10 years that i cant even use my position to my advantage from time to time.So reddit WIBTA if i do a side job even tho my boss has said he is not comfortable with me using my companys resources? | WIBTA if i do a side job anyway | YTA |
10z6bzy | My (20F) boyfriend (24M) has always had a hard time sleeping through the night. Recently he got some sleeping pills from my family member, and even though I totally sympathize with this struggle, this makes me uncomfortable for a few reasons. 1. Getting prescription meds from my family member feels like a strange thing to do without mentioning to me2. We live a very sedentary lifestyle, lots of video games/movies, often going to bed super late. I think we should try some kind of exercise daily (starting small, like 30 minutes a day) as well as drinking more water and eating healthier food before looking to medication. I’ve asked him many times to see a sleep doctor, because I believe he may have sleep apnea or something like that, to no avail. 3. These meds can be dangerous if taken without a prescription, as well as addictive. He has had substance abuse issues in the past. 4. He got really defensive when I brought the above ideas up. Saying he really likes the sleep he gets with the pills, and that this is what he’s doing and it’s not negotiable, at least as a first step. 5. We live in a place with a history of break ins, as well as with an alcoholic roommate who has fallen asleep with lit cigarettes before. There has already been a small fire. I worry that if I need to wake him up in the middle of the night for an emergency I won’t be able to.Now I really love him and I want to spend my life with him, but I’m concerned and unsure about whether or not I’m overstepping when I bring up these concerns. I want him to get better sleep, I just wish he would start smaller or with a doctor. He doesn’t want to go to the doctor as he has experienced doctors being unwilling to help him/not taking him seriously, or believing he is drug seeking before. I have witnessed this first hand and I will say it is a legitimate concern.So, AITA? If you have any suggestions please share | AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to take sleeping pills? | NTA |
10zgvva | I live with my roommate in one room. They are a messy person, but keep the mess on their side of room, so I kinda do not care, unless it starts spreading When we moved in, we both agreed on taking turns cleaning the room, mostly vacuuming and mopping floors, taking out trashcan... I have been out for 3 weeks from the apartment and in the 3 weeks, the roommate didn't bother to do any of these chores even once. Trashcan was so full it was spilling over, floor covered in those fluffs of dust and hair. So when I came back, I tidied my part of rokm and the cleaning, because it was my turn anyway, wanting to ask the rm, why they didnt bother cleaning. The next morning when the rm came, the first thing they shout at me is, that I broke their table. It's one of those super cheap wiggly foldable tables, originally for laptop I think, where the rm keeps all kind of things piled on top of the poor table. I allegedly broke it, when I put extra weight on it and they are asking me to pay for new such table and never again touch their things, because they would never do it.The only thing I did was, that I put a small cardboard box with 1 empty bottle, some astic bags and one can of deodorant in it on the table, so I could clean the floor where these things were laying. The "break" on the table is on one of the legs, a small crack that wouldn't be there had the table not been piled with everything on it. I did what I think was natural - put things away so I could mop the floor and let it dry. The rm then tried to argument that they did not have time to clean because of work yadayada and if they had time, they would have made their table tidy. I am refusing to pay for the table because 1, the crack doesn't influence the stability or anything of said table and 2, had they made a bit more mess on the table, it would have cracked itself anyway.So, AITA? | AITA for (not) breaking the table? | NTA |
10zgs2a | So this is my first and hopefully last time asking here but here it goes. I am in the middle of fixing myself from a nasty breakup. As of writing this is the 3rd week of the split and since then I have been surprisingly mellow, I am taking therapy to let it all out, moved out of our room and took over the office room, and work extra hard to save money for a new car. At the moment we live together due to signing a new lease in November.So today I wake up at 6am to a few notifications from my home security camera. I am a very skittish sleeper already and with the anxiety I am going through I can wake up from the smallest thing. I then notice on my screenshots that the camera takes for me that it is my ex standing at the door for an excessive amount of time. I shrug it off and try to sleep a little longer as it is still very early maybe she's getting ready for work. Another alert gets sent to my phone. This time there is a random man in my living room with my ex. My heart sinks and 3 weeks of reinforcing myself goes out the window and I become painfully sick. They go up to her room which is 5 feet from mine and for the next 7 hours they are being loud.I then go to work pale as a ghost because to me and those I spoke to is that not only is it wrong to bring someone home with a roommate nearby but when it's a roommate *that has been your partner for nearly 3 years* 3 weeks after being told that "we should focus on ourselves" I had to put my foot down. I message her to try and get some answers for sneaking someone in. Also just to point out **we are split**. I have come to terms with it and was beginning the process to rebuild and this went right out the window the moment I saw it. It is known by both of us that I unfortunately suffer very easily from stress based problems such as anemia. I message her that I am severely uncomfortable with her bringing anyone to her room 5 feet from where I am taking therapy for her sudden decision. She responds by apologizing saying that she would have texted me that she's bringing someone over but "wasn't sure if I was awake" at 6 in the morning. I continue to tell her that taking aside the fact that I am an ex and it could come off as jealous or desperate It does not excuse the gross disrespect doing that is and I insist that bringing people to our home is not right. She then admits that it is disrespectful but " I would like to keep bringing him over. I wouldn't mind if you bring someone home. I'll try to keep it out of sight". Again. I am still blindsided from the initial breakup. I am taking what she said during the breakup to heart and I will keep working on myself I have no intentions to bring someone over or keep them out of sight because it's only me.I put my foot down a little more and from that point I get ghosted. I am being told that I shouldn't spend another minute in this home if she intends on bringing them over again. So with that **WIBTA if I took my name off of the lease and leave her to her own devices?** | WIBTA For Wanting To Break My Lease To Leave My Ex? | YTA |
10zgo7w | On a recent lab report I got a little note from my teacher that said “never begin a sentence with ‘and’. But you *can* begin sentences with conjunctions, I just did and there’s no rule against this. I looked it up, she’s just of the mindset that sentences should start with “and” or “but”. But again, that’s just simply not correct. So would I be the asshole if I corrected her note telling her to not attempt correcting someone if she herself is wrong? | WIBTA if I corrected a teacher? | NTA |
10zgn8k | Hello AITA, I am just a bit sad right now and could need some guidance. So I (30F) have two children with my ex (38M) one was his ‚wish‘ and the other one not so much, but we always talked about having two children and - apparently only for me - it was clear that I‘d also keep the second child whether I should fall pregnant again (we were together for four years). Obviously, exactly this happened, at first he wanted to keep it, too, but after a few days he wanted me to terminate because of ‚financial reasons‘. We broke up about this and have been ever since. Now, he is very upset about having to pay child support for both kids, which I understand sucks, but I have way less money than he does (but my family helps out wherever they can and are happy to do so because they love the little ones). I always tell him I understand and I feel sorry that things turned out this way, but IDK what to do otherwise. Then he lost some money in crypto and now has to sell his sports cars to keep afloat and be able to pay for his penthouse and the child support - but he always says I ruined his life and I am the devil and took everything from him. It makes me feel very bad and very sad, I understand this is a very hard time for all of us, but I refuse to give up child support just so he can keep a ridiculously expensive car at the detriment of our children. I try to work as much as I can and geht higher education so I can provide better, but atm it is just not possible to do more. He has been crying for days about having to sell the car, I always said that I understand and that I‘m sorry, but yesterday I told him that it makes me sad that he‘s crying over this but was never sad about losing our relationship or telling me I have to terminate our second for financial reasons. Since then he’s really angry at me ans refuses to speak to me, I‘m also a bit scared he‘ll cut child support because of this. Am I really the devil here? I try my best and I really try to always be understanding of him and help wherever I can and provide everything for the kids, but sometimes this just gets to me and I feel so bad about it. Right now I am just sad that things turned out like this. Sorry for the wall of text, maybe some of you can help me understand his view better.PS: sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language | AITA for keeping my child? | NTA |
10zgllm | This is a throwaway account and info will be broad.We are mid 30's. Prior to our baby, we used to split the chores around the house. We both vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms, if one cooked then the other one does the dishes. We also have dogs and we would both walk them in the morning and at night. After my wife became pregnant, I was doing a lot more of the chores around the house which I was fine with since she couldn't do as much anymore due to lack of mobility and chemicals from the cleaners for the bathrooms. We still walked the dogs to get my wife some exercise during the pregnancy.I am work from home 4 days of 5 days, 8-9 hour days with one day being in the office. My work isn't super stressful, but I have deadlines.After the birth, my MIL and mom switched off staying with us for the first month to help us around the house. This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby. However, after the month of help, both our parents went back home and everything was now on us to cook, clean, laundry, dogs, and taking care of the baby.My wife has been on maternity leave since the birth of our baby and I haven't taken my leave yet and don't plan to until my wife goes back to work. So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will. So she's not doing all the baby stuff by herself.This is where I'm wondering if ITAMy wife on maternity leave is pretty much a "stay at home mom" since all she's doing is just taking care of the baby; however, that's almost all she does. I've joked around with her saying that she's currently a "stay at home mom" but she's not pulling her weight around the house other than taking care of the baby and I still help her with the baby too. During the mornings if it's a sunny day then my wife will walk with the baby in the stroller while I'm the one walking the dogs; however, if it's a rainy then it all falls solely on me to do it all. I'm also the one who takes the dogs for a walk in the evening. I cook dinner and I'd say 9.5 out of 10 times I'm also the one either doing the dishes or putting them into our dishwasher. I always make the bottles every night.Baby is on formula.A normal day for my wife is feeding the baby every 3 hours at 7am and put to bed at 8pm.Weekends, I do 50% baby duties while still doing the cooking, dishes, and taking the dogs out in the evenings.I've told my wife that I'd switch with her at night where I feed the baby and she takes the dogs out but she brushes it off without an answer.I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores.So WIBTA for thinking that my wife should be doing more than just taking care of the baby? | WIBTA think my wife needs to do more around the house than just taking care of the baby? | YTA |
10zggww | Hi everyone, I hoping you can help me with my situation. My sister likes to yell at me over most things. Some examples are she yelled at me for not vacuuming right, she yell at me when I picked her up from work and the doors were locked cause I was scared in a bad neighborhood, she yells at me over being sensitive. Now for what recently happened. My sister is a very blunt person. She often tells it how it is but it can be extremely harsh. She doesn’t care if she hurts your feelings because I’m just to sensitive. Well yesterday she asked me to get snacks for my nephew for his lunch. But when to the store my dads card wouldn’t work. So I went back home to tell my dad and I found somethings to pack for my nephews lunch. Well when she got home she started yelling at me for spending $94, and she didn’t like how little I had gotten. I showed her everything I bought. Inflammation is no joke. My nephew had tons of snakes to take to school. So when she started criticizing me for screwing up. I just sincerely apologized and in a Minton voice I just okay. She lost it on me saying I’m such a baby and I need to stop being so sensitive. When she yells if you say anything back to her she’ll scream at me more and then won’t let me see my nephew. AITAH? | WIBTAH if I get monotone when I get yelled at | NTA |
10zgghf | Sister moved 6 months ago and her then puppy pug needed to be put in a carrier. It blurted out of me that I have a carrier for my cat and that she could use it if she’d like. She said yes cause it was easier than purchasing one and I thought no big deal. Helped her move and she said she needed the carrier to take her puppy to get his shots. I told her it was fine I wasn’t planning on using it anytime soon to just wash it and return it later. She agreed and that was that. I figured she’d bring it back in a month or so but it’s been 6 months. Every time I asked for it back she’d say “it’s in the garage I’ll have to look for it.” I thought “she lost it.” She looses everything I blurt out and let her borrow. I needed the carrier for my cat last week and when she brought it back the carrier was dirty smelling like her dog and she brought it that day. I wanted my carrier back at least two weeks before so I could get my cat used to being in it without being scared. Also so he could have his scent on it cause I assumed it was going to be washed smelling like detergent. But no she brought it the day I needed it, dirty. I was upset but needed the carrier that day, I stuffed my cat in it and ignored it. My cat wasn’t happy and I was upset. I only traveled an hour and a half. But still I wanted my carrier clean. When I tried to take my cat out I noticed the top zipper kept getting stuck. I used a different opening on the side. The top zipper is broken and it opens but gets stuck you have to force it same with closing. The inside it’s destroyed. It had these rods to help the carrier not collapse onto itself. But her dog chewed them the top collapses now. I need to hold the carrier by both handles away from each other to prevent that. The cushion was also chewed on. It’s the wooden board with the foam that goes at the bottom to maintain the bottom of the carrier straight. I did end up washing it after I returned with my cat. AITA if I return the carrier to her and tell her I’ll buy another one? | AITA if I give sister my cat carrier? | NTA |
10zgaqn | This is my first post here and hopefully my last, Forgive me if I have poor English.So basically my dad has a company in the Netherlands so every other week he goes to the Netherlands to work, Remember that,So I used to have depression but somehow I went to the gym and released all my anger there and it helped me (Now I'm trying to be a bodybuilder),So when he is not home and I call him he's really cool but when he comes back we almost always fight, So yesterday he came back and suggested we go for a walk tomorrow (which is today) and I agreed, So I told him to wake me up at 9AM, He woke me up at 8AM and I told him to please let me sleep until 9AM, Than he just told me he will refund all my gym supplies and my membership because I didn't want to go at 8AM (He screamed at me), So I asked him "why" and he just kept screaming at me, and than I shouted at him because he started trying to take stuff I paid for from my room and told him to get out of my room, than he kept screaming and I pulled my hair a lil bit with my hand and he said I need to go see a doctor, To escape from him I locked myself in the bathroom and they went somewhere, Am I The Asshole?And what should I do? | AITA For screaming at my dad | NTA |
10zg9gt | A close friend of mine had their birthday recently, I haven't done much with them in a little while and I was a little late to send them a birthday message (12:10ish same day) after I was reminded by another friend that it was their birthday and they told me " you had to be reminded that it was my birthday, only to be late to wish me happy birthday. this is laughable" AITA? | AITA if I sent a belated birthday message to someone I haven't hung out with recently? | NTA |
10z6jbo | So.... I'm working overtime 6 days a week already, My 18 year old daughter wants a ride right after work, and I'm so tired don't even get out of the car. Please keep in mind, I walk over 16k steps a day.😡 Surface Mount Technology ( google it)Coming up, I'm working 20 days straight where I have to get up at 3am on the weekends but yet still have to drop her off at 4pm ( Right when I get home during the week) then pick her up at like 10pm.... I'm about DONE. She has a job and makes her own money....AITAH For for saying.... UBER ##$$##$ | AITA For not wanting to be a personal Uber to my kid when I'm working 20 days straight | NTA |
10zc2zq | I’m 28, almost every day, unfortunately not hyperbole, I get a call or text from my mother because there was an accident on the interstate, or a shooting at a park. Asking if I’m home or where I’m at. I’ve been on dates and I will have to turn do not disturb on because I know there’s a very good chance she’ll call before the date ends. She always says “I just worry”. Tonight I lost my cool a little over it and she started crying so I just hung up. I understand worrying, but this feels like way too much. Almost every. Single. Day. It’s a call or a text. Multiple times a day sometimes. I’m just exhausted by it. | AITA for getting annoyed with my mother for calling me almost every day telling me how dangerous the city I’m in is | NTA |
10zfsq7 | I play FFXIV and I am a normal human dude. I joined an FC (a guild) to try and broaden my horizons and do activities. It was actually full of darker-skinned characters like inhumanly silver, grey, and humanly black and brown colors. I thought nothing of it, but I did find the skin colors very ugly because video games make lighter-skinned characters way more appealing than darker-skinned ones. So for the asshole incident, one of the FC members asked for our opinion on her outfit in the game. It was a picture of her very dark female lizard race, and I just commented, "I would like it better if your character had lighter skin."All hell broke loose and this led to me being accused of being prejudiced and biased. But I'm not, it's just my opinion. AITA? | AITA for how I talk about MMORPG skin color? | YTA |
10zfqle | As the title says I(18m) yelled at my sister(22).My niece(3) had dropped a cup I presume(I don't know the specifics because I was in my room). And my sister wanted her to pick it up. A reasonable request but my niece decided she didn't want to. She was avoiding it, saying she didn't want to, just generally not listening.I would've understood if my sister had to get a bit stern but a serious tone quickly snowballed into her yelling as loud as she could. I had felt that she yells at my niece too much in general, and she was being very excessive. So I decided to yell as loudly as I possibly could "Shut the fuck you dumb bitch! Stop yelling! It solves nothing!".I had also just done a few bong rips, not an excuse just additional context if it may be necessary. Edit: To clarify I smoke weed/rip bongs outside and in the garage which isn't connected to the main house. Some people in the comments were under the impression I just did it in my room or something.She went to my mom and asked "What the fuck was that?", put my niece to bed for being disobedient, and started bawling her eyes out.Then we had the following text conversation: Sister: Don't ever swear at me in front of my daughter again, and mind your own damn business Me: No you yell as much as dad or [our Aunt] and you know horrible they are and feel to be around Sister: Doesn't mean you get to call me a fucking dumb bitch IN FRONT OF A 3 year old. I really don't care how angry you are, there is absolutely no need for that. You can talk to me like a normal human being without the slander and name calling Before my next text I took a 5 minute pizza break and reflected on what just happened. Me: I'm sorry for yelling and for swearing. I didn't mean to shame you or anything Im sorry for making you feel bad. I was just trying to think of how [My niece] feels. It's not that I'm annoyed with you and again I'm sorry for being mean. I definitely could've approached the situation better.Now I feel like I handled the fallout as best I could so far. This was a few hours ago. I'm not quite sure what tomorrow entails but I'm still wondering if I was in the wrong for what happened or if I could've handled it better. Well I recognize I could've handled it better I'd still like hear another opinion.Would it help if I provided more details about her, me, or our family in general?Edit: another clarification, people seem to assume I got in my sister's face. I was sitting on my couch in my room when I yelled. She's says I was in front her but I think she just meant I yelled at her while SHE was in front of her child.One of the reasons I yelled was because we weren't right beside each other. | AITA I(18m) yelled at my sister(22) as loud as I could for yelling at her daughter | ESH |
10zfpqz | I (22 f) just had a baby 2 months ago. I love and adore my baby cousin who is currently 5 y/o. Recently my 2month old baby tested positive for RSV. Prior, my baby cousin was very sick. She basically got the cold but had a very bad stuffy nose and cough. We had went on a small trip all together as a family and I was very stressed. My baby cousin loves my baby but she simply can’t keep her distance away from her. I tell her to not touch her hands nor to kiss her but she doesn’t listen. I told my parents to please not let my cousin get very close to the baby because I’m afraid she will get sick. During the trip, (mind you all 8 of us were sharing a suite) I had left the baby with my parents to go shower and when I got out I see my baby cousin is holding my baby with her moms supervision… mind you she so sick she couldn’t breathe because of her stuffy nose. I didn’t say anything because I felt that if I had said something I would make my baby cousin sad and I don’t want to. I would like to mention that her mom does tell her to wash her hands before touching her and to cover her mouth when coughing or sneezing. Throughout the trip she was just on top of the baby trying to grab her hands and they had let her hold her even though I had told them no one time. I understand that my parents don’t want to make my cousins feel bad but I just feel like my 2month old safety is first because she’s very small. Anyway, the day after we got back from the trip I started to feel sick and the baby began to cough and sneeze here and there. I didn’t start coughing until maybe nearly 5 days ago while my baby tested positive for RSV 3days ago. Currently she’s not doing too good and is obviously having a really hard time breathing. I told my mom that starting from now if anyone in the family is sick , I don’t want them around the baby at all. I don’t care. She agreed and she even said no one can’t touch her hand nor hold her and kiss her. But my thing is that my very first child had to get a virus for you to agree with me??? Anyway, I want to have a talk with my cousins but I don’t want to be a bad guy saying that if my cousin is sick to not be near her since we all see each other often. Please let me know what you guys think. | AITA for wanting to tell my cousin to have her kid away from mine when she’s sick | NTA |
10zbu36 | I’m not they type to get in arguments/ fights with anyone because I hold in my feelings a lot, so I F(13) and my cousin (F)A(13) using initial for privacy got into a argument recently because at school I always sit with my friends and she usually asks me to save her a seat when she does wanna sit with me but she hasn’t been at school because of whatever reason she has but that day she got pressed just because I didn’t save her a seat and that day my ex friend(she thought we where ex friends but we where just taking a break for a bit)So she texted me why didn’t you save me a seat, and a whole argument I told her that she has friends to sit with and that my friends didn’t want her to sit with us because it’s awkward she literally just stares at us.. so that happened she kept asking why I was sitting with my ex friend She asked I thought you didn’t like her and I told her to mind her own business I called her two faced and to never talk to me again. AITA? | AITA FOR BLOCKING MY COUSIN AFTER WE GOT IN A ARGUMENT? | ESH |
10zflx7 | I 38F went to get my phones screen fixed at *insert decently known phone fixing store* and they have done a bad job in my opinion. But I feel like a Karen demanding they fix it.To be brief I broke my screen, small spiderweb at the bottom but *no other damage to the phone*(important for later). I was pretty bummed since the crack wasn't that big but did make the screen not turn on. So I saved up 2 paychecks and went to the only store that had my screen in stock. (The other 2 options it would take 7-10days to get a screen in no one would order without payment) I was kind of on borrowed time since I was using a buddies phone until I could fix mine. It was going to be pricey compared to the other locations BUT I needed the phone fixed sooner not later so I paid. In the process of fixing my screen they broke my backglass, well that sucks but hey shit happens and they said they'd replace it. I get my semi fixed phone back and they forgot my sim card holder, I ride back get it and as I'm putting my phone together notice...hey it's a different color now. OK not optimal but it'll have to do I guess. Silver sim slot black phone edge mismatch.A week goes by they get the back "glass" in and call to let me know. But hey it's a different color it isnt silver but like grey/black. I think ok cool probably the black back glass itll match the sides now. Go in they do the repair....bring me my phone. Uh this isn't even glass its some.ugly cheap metal they got after market. It looks terrible and feels cheap.I tell the manager this he shruggs and says "oh well" and just walks to the back of the store ignoring me..... im trying to not make a scene but they haven't fixed my phone. IT looks bad it's all a jumble of colors now and I'm pretty sure it's not worth anything. I usually trade my phones in and I very much doubt I can now. WIBTA for calling corporate and asking they please fix what they broke with a equal replacement!? I feel like I would be TA because of the fear of having someone lose their job, or it being a Karen like move? I'm a people pleaser at times though which is why I ask here. | WIBTA for demanding the store fix my phone? | NTA |
10z5q5z | I (f/17) drive with the bus to school since im 6 and the bus driver (male and about 45) knows me since im 6 and knows that i drive this bus everyday and pay. So like always i bought my ticket and listened to some music. Another busdriver who wasnt driving wanted to see me ticket i just bought. I really dont know why and i wasnt prepared for this because this never happened before. I dont often throw away my ticket and keep them in different places (school bag, wallet, jacket etc.) So i needed to search in a bunch of tickets who all look the same. I said to him that he knows i paid for that (otherwise i wouldnt have gotten into the bus) and that its only a 1€ ticket. He didnt took that well...Suddenly he says that i will have to pay hundreds of euros and if i dont find my ticket he will drag me to the police. He was very insulting and even said "i know where you live" in a creppy tone. Imagine a man double as big as me saying that. My sister (18/f) came and said its BS what he is doing and we just went inside our school together. After that he screamed something after me that i will never be allowed to be in his bus again (which is a problem because i still need to go to school )Well today i saw him today wanting to check my ticket in another bus. This time i was a little more prepared and just showed it to him and he wanted me to apologize (btw i didnt insulted him in any way, the opposite im pretty shy). He asked in a saracastic tone if a "calmed down" and demanded a apology. I had a pretty rough day at school and just didnt needed any BS anymore so i simply said in a calm tone "i dont wanna have a disscussion now about this, here is my ticket you can go now". Well he wanted a disscussion! After i told him again that i will not fight in a bus and i dont have anything else to add". After that he called me TA and threat me again that "NEXT TIME" he will get me or something. AITA? Schould i have just apologized? And if so for what?Well i think that these people have a pretty shitty job but still... | AITA for not apologizing to the busdriver? | NTA |
10zfim0 | I \[F22\] live in India and my LDR boyfriend \[M20\] lives in the UK. We've been together for 7 months and its honestly the first time I've been in a healthy relationship. My mom went through a horrible marriage and therefore it's understandable that she has trust issues, and having myself gone through some relationships which were terrible, she worries alot for me.It wasn't until 6 months into my current relationship that I finally told my mom about my LDR, and she was taken aback by this, since usually i share everything with her. I was empathetic and I told her all that she needed to know about him so that she gets a whole picture of what he’s like. I genuinely feel like this relationship is the one (i know it might be too early to say this) since we're so compatible in every sense, and i can be myself with him. I can't even be this free and open with my own mother, which is something that saddens me the most.My mother, having gone through all those tough times, has become very harsh and judgmental. She loves me to the fullest which i recognize, but I'll often find her telling me things like "trust no one" and "you never know what he's up to so far away" and "men are all horrible" and honestly i feel like she's always imposing her opinions on me. I'm not this kind of person, I like to see the good in everyone, and i take my experiences as lessons and try my best to not get hung over them.Just today, I told her how I tell him everything that's going through my head and how understanding he is, and how well he handles it, but instead she told me that i shouldnt trust him so openly and "go crazy over a guy" like that, and how I always cry in the end because I make poor choices. I told her that i'm never telling her anything about my life again because she always throws it back in my face to use as an argument. Now she's upset, saying things like "you betrayed my trust by not telling me about your LDR from the start" and all that. The truth is, it's because of her judgmental behaviour and constant need to micro-manage everything i do, that i didnt tell her anything about my relationship, and it had been going on smoothly.It's not like she cant see me being so happy. She knows enough. And she gets happy for me sometimes too. But suddenly she'll just randomly spoil my mood by saying negative things and triggering my trust issues which I took years to work and get over. All this based solely on the horrible people she's encountered so far. She has absolutely zero faith in my abilities and feels the need to monitor me even though time and again I have proved to her that I'm capable of making good decisions in different aspects of life.I end up forgiving her always and start sharing my life with her again and then a while after, she does the same thing again. This is why i want to gatekeep my relationship from her, even though it might hurt her that i'm keeping things from her. AITA here? | AITA for wanting to gatekeep my relationship from my mother? | NTA |
10zffph | Sorry for bad english because English is my second language.So, I bought a pencil case online and it's costs around 2 usd and the shipping fee is 2.24 usd (usd to the currency in my country is a lot).This is my first time online shopping and I told my older sister about it and she was fine with it until she heard the shipping fee.She exploded at me and lectured me and my mother heard she was yelling at me and she asked my sister what was wrong and my sister explained to her what I had done. And both of them yelled at me and soon my mother will tell my father so I guess I can add my father to the list of people scolding me.I cancelled the order but the seller still hasn't responded yet.The truth is my sister warned me about shipping fee but I thought it wasn't that big of a deal since the shipping fee is cheap to me but to them it was expensive and I understand that.I'm still just a teenager and i get anxiety when I'm being yelled at.So AITA? | AITA for buying something online with expensive shipping fee? | INFO |
10zfb2g | Background: This story was set when I was 13F ( so quite a while ago ), I am from a Mexican family, Quite small for my age and a great climber, ( This is important later on. )The story starts when I just left my French class and had 30 minutes of free time. I had decided to climb a tree ( cus I wanted to ) It was a big tree, easily 3 stories and really thick, even at the top. I was about 5 meters up when I felt something hard thrown at my back, I turn around and see 3 other middle school boys. All much bigger then me. They start laughing and I yell at them to stop, one of them chuckles and says " What you gonna do? Climb back to your country? GO HOME BITCH " another one says " Yeah! Go home ( racial slur ) " I looked down at them in disgust and pointed my middle finger and kept climbing because I was used to this kinda thing.The third kid ( I'll call him Devon ) scoffed and said " I'm gonna kill you ( racial slur ) " and started climbing up the tree. Me being a scared 13yr started climbing higher to try get away from him, While the other two kept throwing rocks while I scaled up the tree. They were screaming loudly at me and I was terrified. I reached the top of the tree, yet he was still coming up, In a panic a yelled loudly for help, screaming that he was gonna kill me, one teacher heard me and yelled back at me " Don't be so dramatic, He's just playing, Boys will be Boys" BOYS WILL BE BOYSI stood in shock for a moment, was this real? As I felt Devon grab my leg a panicked, grabbed one of the rocks his friends were throwing and smashed it into his hand.Devon let go and fell out the tree, The same teacher screams and demands I come down at once. I climbed down and she yelled at me so loudly I think I will never get her voice out of my mind. " HOW COULD YOU? HES JUST BEING A BOY, YOU MEXICAN ( RACIAL SLURS ) THING YOU OWN THE PLACE JUST CUS YOU'RE ALLOWED IN OUR COUNTY? I'M GOING TO GET YOU EXPELLED, AND SENT BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY " A part of me wanted to just close my eyes and try to wake up from this dream, sadly this is real life. I ran off, found a hidden area and cried my heart out. Half the school was looking for me and eventually a nice teacher ( I'll call him Mr pride) Found me, I explained the situation and he was enraged, He said I could stay in his office with him while he ' Sorts this out ' I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down what just happened in full detail with names and everything, and sent the letter home to my family. To say they were furious was an understatement, we shared this news with EVERYONE in our home town. The next day I show up to school armed with posters and pepper spray and cover the entire school with posters of my story, and a pedititon to get bad teacher fired. It didn't take long for it to spread like wildfire teacher was gone by next week. | AITA for getting my teacher fired and ruining my schools reputation? | NTA |
10zf04f | I'm very picky with the music I listen to because most of them tend to reflect and have a lot of influence over my state of mind so I tend to carefully curate playlists for them. In line with this, I've made use of the spotify block function in order to thoroughly filter music from artists I dislike either because I dislike their music or because their entire discography is filled with cacophonous and honestly overproduced sounds or because my morals do not align with said artist himself (i.e. the artist is a zionist and homophobe)—I block them for maximum avoidance. But apparently, according to some friends, I'm not supposed to do that because it's "gross" and "disgusting" of me to block artists I dislike (she's a fan of a singer I have blocked).I retaliated by saying that it's something normal to do when curating your playlist or any song you listen to and that since the block function is available, might as well make use of it and that she can do that too if she dislikes a certain artist (which I know she claims she does but she still always listens to their songs for some reason). She refuses to listen and keeps saying that I'm an *ssh*le who needs a reality check and our other friend thinks the same.I'm really confused because I thought this was a normal thing to do. AITA? | AITA for blocking an artist i dislike on music platforms | NTA |
10zeyvm | This just happened I was told to walk the dogs I said okay looked around for the leash and when I found it I took the leash to my big dog and put it on her I was told by my dad to take both dogs out at once and switch big dog with small dog and (I know this may sound stupid and I’m the bad guy but listen) and I replied with no I don’t really do that anymore due to the big dog just standing out at the stairs and not listening to me and small dog pulling around trying to play with the big dog and all around being a pain (she isn’t leash trained) so my dad instantly after I said no replies with do it “fuck you, you fucking retard, do it or get grounded” In shock I reply with “uhh excuse me? No I stated my reasoning to not do it already I won’t because no one in the house bothers to leash train the small dog other than me” and I walk away to take big dog out into the yard to do dog stuff and when I get back in I get greeted with “your a fucking troll.” After this, this I may be the asshole for how I replied. And I reply back in a very angry tone saying “I’m the troll you got your dick in a twist over something small if you really wanted to be my dad like you say you do, than act like it because if you don’t you will never see me again!” And I walked away in anger to take small dog out. And I get a dirty look from my grandmother as I walk away and get called a disappointment by her. And I walk up the stairs to feed My Guinea pig. | AITA for saying no to my dad? | NTA |
10zer7q | Im close to my college graduation and my parents want me to wear my graduation gown when i come back from graduation to show off the neighbors/ neighborhood ect. They dont really talk to anyone in the neighborhood anyways. I personally don't care what they think as i barely know anyone that lives there and i don't feel anything by "showing off " this way in fact i would feel embarrassed. My parents on the other hand see this a a sense of pride. Should i feed into there egos by doing this. i didn't see me saying no as a big deal until my mom got mad after i said i wouldn't. I simply want graduate go on a small dinner with my family and don't care about any 'congratulations' or stares from the neighborhood. | WIBTAH for not wearing graduation gown? | NTA |
10zaopa | So I (29M) am a homeowner, and rent to my brother (27M). We have always been close and supported each other, but over the past few years I’ve been in the position to help him out quite a bit. I rent to him in my home for a good price, and while he was job searching, I was able to waive rent and enable him to search for as long as he needed to find the job that he was most excited about. Here’s where I may be TA. My brother sometimes treats himself with a large frozen pizza at the end of a long day. It smells amazing, and I really feel like the world is a more beautiful place when we all share. I’ll often ask him for a bite, and he will refuse. He says he’s hungry, he hasn’t eaten all day, and this is his pizza. He has more food! The fridge and pantry are full of snacks, he could easily make more food if he’s still hungry. I feel like I’m his brother. We love each other, and we’ve helped eachother out a lot. I will also sometimes cook and save him leftovers or make extra for him. We really are best friends, and I’m happy to do what I can for him. All I want is for him to occasionally share some of his delicious dinner with me. So… AITA? | AITA for asking my brother for a bite of his pizza? | YTA |
10zakwi | My (51M) roommate (61M) eats a lot of finger food - tacos, burritos etc and he picks up the TV remote with his fingers covered in greasy food bits and slime and gets it all over the remote. He does this every time he eats in the living room - at least a few times per week if not daily.This started about a year ago when he started eating meals in the common living room. (He used to eat in his bedroom, where he has a smallish apartment setup with an easy chair and TV). He knows damn well by now that it pisses me off, yet every day, I find the remote slimed. I've tried everything I can think of to get him to stop doing it, to the point now where I just feel like I'm beating him up and it's beyond even talking about.I see the remote thing as part of a larger issue of general cleanliness, chore balance in the household, boundaries and respect.We've been living together for 6 or 7 years, and I think that over that time period, we've both changed in ways that have brought these issues up. I think I've become cleaner and more responsible, while he's become lazier, and we've fallen into this dependent relationship where I do everything - I buy all of the household supplies, take care of the entire house, and I'm constantly cleaning up after him, especially in the kitchen after he prepares food.Basically he's a slob and I'm his fucking mother, and I'm over it. We've had talks, discussions, arguments, and blow-ups over all of it, ad-naseum. He's getting better about helping out with doing dishes and general chore stuff, but he still can't clean up after himself on the daily.We had a slight blowup about the remote again tonight and he's currently in his room. It's his way of letting me know he's pissed at me.I'm ready to kick him out and go it alone. So I guess this is a two-part post:AITA for being angry about the remote?and:WIBTA if I kicked him out over the larger issues of respect and boundaries? | AITA for blowing up at roommate over food-slimed TV remote/WIBTA if I kicked him out over bigger issues? | NTA |
10zaj2y | Sorry for my bad english here, it is not my first language. Me and my bf have a lot of common interests, but most of the time we do things he likes. I enjoy them to, but some of them I like just because I do it with him. I'm not interested on my own. But then I want to do some of more my stuff, he often doesn't want to participate. I know that he has the right to not like the stuff I like, but it is really upsetting for some reason, I would really love these things even more if he was with me and I feel like he isn't trying enough. Also, I have BPD and I know it is not an excuse, but because of it I can spiral out of control from "he doesn't like things I like" to "he doesn't like me". Every few times he rejects my offer to do smt together I get really upset, sometimes it causes panic attacks and mental breakdowns. We talked a lot about this, but did not find any compromises. He knows about my mental health problems, but it is his right to not participate. He can't help it if he doesn't want to do stuff, but I can't deal with my emotions either. And then I get upset he sees that and also gets upset and now everuone is sad, wven though no one did enything wrong.AITA for being upset and dumping these emotions on him? | AITA for arguing with my bf because he doesn't want to do things I like? | NTA |
10zacez | My (18M) sister (16F) and I have always had our differences. She dislikes my argumentative nature and my trouble managing my anger, while I dislike her sense of humor and her sporadic nature. However, before this goes any further I want it to be clear that I love my sister and I know she loves me.So like I said, I have some trouble dealing with my anger. That generally does not pair well with a distaste in a certain sense of humor, but I don’t think I’m in the wrong in this instance.Today, my sister and I were driving home, and I had just picked her up from work as she does not have her license yet. I really don’t mind picking her up, it didn’t really off set my mood. We started to drive and talking about my managers and her managers. Now here’s where her sense of humor begins. You see, recently I told my sister that she is not a very good liar. This is true, because when she lies, it’s something that I know she would lie about. However, she seemed to take that as a challenge to convince me of random things whenever for no reason. She does it in a joking manner, but will tell me some believable story about her friend, or (in this case) the name of a manager I do not work with. Of course I believe it, then she either laughs at me and asks why I would think that was true, or add on to the story until it is so ridiculous that it’s obviously a lie.Tonight was just the same and I snapped. I told her that if she is going to act all offended by me accusing her of lying and not knowing what to believe, which she has done quite recently, then why wouldn’t she stop lying about stupid things? She retaliated with the fact that she had not acted offended in this instance, which to her credit is true. However, I still feel that I am relatively justified in my reaction solely because of the annoying, unnecessary lying.My only concern is that I know that I can be just as much of a pain to her as she can to me. My other family member’s try to not really take a side, understanding where I am coming from but also saying that it is just her way of kidding around. We have had other problems in the past and I have voiced them to her, however it feels as though she would change how she acts for any one of her friends before she would for me. I really don’t know, AITA? | AITA for being upset here?? | NAH |
10z5lt8 | So once after a night out I was gonna stay the night with my friend. Her sister was gonna sleep there as well, and we met one of their friends who asked to stay as well and she said yes.We had spend the last hours of the night with her sister and friends and had a great time. Once we got back he asked if someone would go outside with him while he had a cigaret so I said sure. While we were outside he suddenly crapped me forcing his hand into my pants. I pushed him quickly and went to go inside he then trapped my arm pulling me back forcing his hand into my pants again. Again I pushed him away trying to go inside and I get to open the door before he grabs my arm againI’m in such shock and stuck at my friends place because there was no way for me to get home I didn’t sleep all night. I cried when I got home the day after.About a week later I told her. She was shocked and said she was sorry. She has promised we will never be the same place again but she has stayed friends with him. It’s so hard for me to understand, I’ve cut people out I know have sexually assaulted someone before I met them, because I want nothing to do with someone who would do that.So here is my question. AITA for struggling with the fact that she has stayed friends with him? | AITA for not wanting my friend to be friends with | NTA |
10z7845 | I 23F am planning to visit one of my relatives. My father really doesn’t like this relative and has told me not to visit them before. Basically, my father and this relative do not get along well. In fact, they do not speak with each other at all.I have not told my parents that I am planning to leave and that I am going to visit this relative. It’s just that I currently live at home and it has become bad for my mental health. Living at home has become difficult so I would like to leave for a few days. I feel that my dad may get mad at me for leaving and going to stay with this relative. I don’t know if I would be the one in the wrong here.Would I be the asshole for staying with a relative that my dad doesn’t like? | WIBTA for visiting a relative my dad doesn’t like? | NTA |
10z6pvs | To start: obligatory sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. Tldr at end.I (19F) and my roommate (20F) have been renting a house together since August. The house has a driveway that per our lease is ours alone. Since the driveway is only big enough for 1 car, though, and my roommate and I each have a car, the other car usually gets parked on the street in front of our house, in a spot that nobody else used for the first couple of months we lived here.At the end of November, the neighbors (~50 M and F with i don't know who else living/staying with them) started parking their own cars in that spot. Roomie and I brushed it off, then, figuring they just had people staying with them for Thanksgiving, as they had several extra cars around their house then. The same was true through the beginning of January, but again with the holidays and all, we didn't mind much.Now, the "extra" cars are gone, except for one that I think belongs to their daughter, but they still keep parking in front of our house. They have space for 2-3 cars on the street in front of their house, and a driveway long enough for an additional 2-3 cars. Currently they have 3 cars. 2 are parked on the street in front of their house, while the 3rd is on the street in front of mine. None are in the driveway. This is the case about 3/4 of the time lately (or when only one vehicle is on the street in front of their house it is typically positioned in such a way that it is impossible to park another car in that area safely. But either way, the spot in front of my house is only available for me or my roommate about 1/4 of the time). Nobody else is allowed to park in their driveway, of course, and aside from the areas in front of our respective houses, there are no places we can park until much further up the street.Roomie and I have asked them to at least make sure there's room in one area or the other for us to park in whenever possible, but nothing has changed, so now I've reached the point where I want to start demanding they stop parking in "our" spot, even though I know Roomie and I aren't actually entitiled to that spot in any way. The whole thing just feels petty and I'm ready to be done with it.So, Reddit, WIBTA?Tl;dr: neighbors make it impossible for both roommate and I to park in front of our house. I want to demand they stop parking in "our" spot, even though it isn't really ours.Edit: Ok, I get it, I would be TA. I really don't think I ever actually planned on doing it, and I think I knew it would be wrong from the start. I guess I more just wanted to vent, and gauge people's reactions. Thanks for the responses, and for those that offered suggestions. I know I can't make demands, but hopefully we can at least work something out.Anyway, thanks, y'all, for bringing me back down to earth and reminding me that making stupid demands won't help in any way to "win" anything, even a petty fight with people older than my parents. I hope y'all have a great day/night/whatever it is for you when you see this. | WIBTA for demanding my neighbor stop parking in "my" spot? | YTA |
10zdgp9 | ok so I 15 (f) was talking to 2 of my friends and saying how much I dislike toxic people. and i brought up a person that we all knew and said i thought that she was toxic mainly by how she acted and treated others including myself. one friend (f) had known the toxic friend - who we’ll call M 15 (f) - for years since elementary school. i didn’t think about how she would have felt or wasn’t even expecting her to tell M. i just kinda went on a rant and couldn’t stop myself. to sum up on why i thought M was a toxic friend, shed make fun of people i considered good people and my friends. She’d made me feel bad for needing help in math class and kept going on and on abt how embarrassing it was, all while knowing that i needed help in school. As in i was ina special education class. She’d asked me in a passive aggressive way why i was upset when nothing was wrong but she kept on asking. as if to spite me. that pissed me off so i rlly was starting to get upset and gave her an attitude and she was bitchy to me the rest of the day. and lastly she’s flat out ignore me and give me 2-3 worded answers if i was trying to conversate with her and would only talk to other people. She made me feel bad abt myself. And made rude comments and laughing at people behind their backs which just rubbed me that wrong way. Our mutual friend who we’ll call A had recorded my rant and sent it to M and M had her friends ask me why i was “talking sht abt M” i told them plain and simple. she was a toxic person in my opinion. i wasn’t trying to talk sht abt her. i never wanted to say anything. She finally messaged me and i explain to her in detail and with hardcore evidence on why i thought of her the way i did. she only backed up one of the reasons and she had said “you have been a fake friend this whole time your always talking sht abt me to (whoever).” which i ask when because the only time is when i’d says she seemed moody and our mutual friends would agree. that’s all. she never answered my question. i told her i didn’t mind being not being friends and she replies “who said we were friends” which ok you have but whatever.After i tell her my side i say i’m sorry for making her feel that way and that it was never my intention to hurt her i just didn’t like her morality in life. at all. she then unadded me and we don’t talk which is fine but do worry that maybe i was too harsh. | AITA for calling a friend who i don’t like toxic? | ESH |
10zcs8f | Me (M14) and my friend (M13) have hung out together since 5th grade and now in 8th I’ve just started noticing some problems for example one thing that he does that’s annoying is at lunch we have a strict clean up rule if it’s in your space you clean it up well my friends takes advantage of this seeing whenever a lunch monitor starts to walk over and put all his trash on my plate causing me to throw away his piles of chip bags, candy wrappers, etc. Well today he was being a little bit more annoying at lunch by constantly calling me a “female dog” whenever I talk to the person next to me causing to be extra annoyed then he pulls his regular stunt putting his half eaten apple on my plate well I was in a bit of a mood right now so I yell at him and say how about you throw it away.I proceed to throw the apple at him planning to hit his body or somewhere other than his face but I have bad aim and I hit big salad sitting near him dumping all of its contents on him dressings, hard boiled eggs, and olives the whole enchilada. After the missed throw I feel bad and apologize for almost a minute straight then seeing a smile on his face I think that we may be able to laugh this off so I start to giggle under my breath he obviously hears me and his smile turns into a blank stare he then stands up reaches into his backpack and pulls out a fresh cold water bottle. I didn’t process what was going on it time but he whips the bottle at me getting not only me wet but my food and my belongings. He starts screaming at me making a scene saying that I play too much and I need to learn when to relax. I try walking away but him and two other of our mutuals start following me screaming about how I need to learn when it’s not time and when it is time to joke around. I then avoided said “friend” for the rest of the day. | AITA for dumping a salad on my friend | ESH |
10z5dxb | Recently, I was taking the subway home from work.When I got in the car, somebody was smoking and it reeked of weed - to the point where at the first stop I switched cars.Generally speaking, I don't care if people smoke on the subway, even though the subway forbids smoking inside. Even weed, if people choose to smoke at home away from others, that's none of my business. When I got to my stop, I called the non emergency line to report it. I don't want the people smoking brutalized by police or something, but I don't want my subway to reek whenever I get on and I don't want to smell like weed. Frankly, I think if you choose to smoke weed in such a blatant manner, on the subway, in public, you sort of accept whatever legal consequences there might be. AITA? | AITA for calling the non emergency line on people smoking weed on the subway? | YTA |
10zg8tw | So freshman year of college, I began working on this project casually. I like to keep notes on men I talk to about their favorite things, activities they enjoy, gifts/candy they like, sappy shit like that. I suck at remembering things like that so I decided to keep a spreadsheet.Eventually after getting a handful of entries. I offhandedly mentioned it to my friend group. One had the idea that I share it with them so we could all keep new entries as they “caught” different entries.So, this expanded further. Right now, about 40 girls have access to it and it’s mainly the girls in my sorority, and the guys featured are men from different fraternities. We also added more information such as like where you should take them if you really wanna impress them. We don’t keep this information for any nefarious reasons.Just to help us know what to do if we want to impress certain dudes. Like the original idea of this was just to keep information like favorite color so I didn’t every forget their favorite colors. Now it’s helping a lot of guys.Somehow, a guy who was on the list found out and he was creeped out and angry. He was eventually able to trace it back to me so I assume someone who was simping for him snitched when the Pokédex wasn’t making the guy like him.So he’s pissed off and she made it out to be a guide to hooking up with men, when it’s most definitely not that. It’s just to make impressing them on dates easier. That’s it. He’s made a big deal of this telling so many guys around campus and now they’re all saying that by the start of the fall semester, none of them will be visiting our sorority or going to our parties.Now all the girlies are mad at me, when I’m not even the one who told the guys about the list, and they were all also using the list. I also think it’s unfair to say the list was all about sex when it wasn’t at all.AITA? | AITA for cataloging specifics about dudes at my university? | YTA |
10zc7vo | Am I the asshole if I make my brother and sister (11 and 10) Pay for using my stuff.I (15M) had a family gathering and I was busy helping my parents for the function then when I was busy my cousins (10- 11) took the juice I got that I said I would share and drank it all. My sister(10 F) also revealed my phone's passcode and my brother spent all my gems on my free coc account. They also broke the skateboard I got. My parents are on their side and they said they will pay for them But I insist that they should pay. It costs around 10 usd total. But, it is a huge amount in my country I will also confront the cousin that broke the skate board and ask for a new one. My dad is saying he paid for the skateboard and he will handle it.I have let them go away with enough things from confronting their bullies to doing their school work when they were busy. I am now out for blood and I will not stop at any cost. I will go nc with my brother after this. But, I will still talk with my sister as she is the only one who I can talk to without being judged. I just want to be loved. I am in tears writing this. (I had also saved up the gems over a 3 month period.)Edit 1: I changed my phone's password and the parents deduced the money and gave it to me. I was harsh and said to go nc. But, I will try to mend the relationship slowly. Thanks for the advice and support. | WIBTA I will not stop | YWBTA |
10z6p7o | i (19f) live with two roommates (19f & 21f), i'm going to talk about 21f. when we started college back in 2021, we all ended up enjoying each other as friends and kept staying friends. we're all currently in our 2nd year and in our first apartment outside of school.after really getting to know them for almost 2 years now, i've realized that 21f has this weird thing where she likes to keep what she's doing a secret. i understand that everyone can have their privacy but after living together for almost 2 years, i would say that brings people pretty close. i respect her privacy but up to this point, it just feels so suspicious and strange living with her and it makes me uncomfortable to even tell her things that i'm doing.we go to an arts school so she enjoys doing creative things like taking dance classes, doing outside clubs, meeting people etc.all three of us have had this conversation before, but i guess it still feels strange to me. to me, friendship is when we can share accomplishments and feel free to speak freely about things that we're doing in our lives. my friendship with 21f now doesn't feel anything like that like it did before moving into an apartment.even asking an innocent question of "where are you heading?" before she left the door started to become a struggle because she would hesitate on answering the question before carefully saying what she was doing. i've stopped asking the question cause her reactions make me uncomfortable.when all of us as roommates have talked about this, she has stated that "i don't like to tell people what i'm doing" because growing up, her parents had never asked her what she's doing when she goes out.just now, as i was sitting at my desk, she comes over to tell me "bye" in a way that sounded like she was leaving for a while. i was confused why she was saying bye, and she tells me shes going to another state for the weekend to do something as if she expected me to react super happy for her. i've asked her what it was for, what kind of event bla bla blaafter she continued to be incredibly vague about everything, i was left in confusion and i just said "alright have fun" and turned away. she's known about my feelings towards how she's been telling me things so i can't really fake happiness for her when i don't understand what's going on, if that makes sense. she tells me not to be upset about this and i tell her i'm not. i'm just genuinely confused.update: now she's just text me that this isn't a personal thing, she doesn't like to tell people about things she could get rejected from such as competitions, auditions, etc. but for me, she acts like this on regarding various subjects and i feel like i can't talk to her normally anymore. i feel like i'm constantly being invasive based on her reactions so it's almost as if i just decided to stop talking to her cause just asking questions is uncomfortable to me.AITA for being cold towards her in that last interaction? i've never dealt with a friend like this before :( | AITA for being cold towards my roommate/friend? | YTA |
10zay87 | I (19F) and my friend Ella (fake name) (19F) are both friends with (fake name) Clara and have been for 6 years. Recently Clara has been going through a toxic situationship where he says very cruel things, that are ableist (I wont go into details for privacy reasons). He also emotionally cheated on his long distance girlfriend. Neither me nor Ella approved, and Ella is especially close. Well, after a few months the guy ended things because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He wants her to wait but he is still allowed to see other people, but not Clara. Clara has since been heavily drinking I assume to cope along with her depression. (She still talks to this man). She tells us she wants to drink as early as 10-11am. I told her to see a counsellor - this counsellor told her to go out and drink with friends rather then alone. (I personally thing that was highly inappropriate). I stated that a counsellor wouldn’t encourage drinking and I don’t think this is a good idea. She said “She’s a counsellor so she must be right, I am just following her instructions”. She later posted her drinking at home and I called her out for it. She’s been ignoring me since.Ella recently messaged her saying this is concerning you shouldn’t be drinking and getting high all the time and this early. She said it was begging to seem like alcoholism. Clara got angry and said she could stop at any time, Ella claimed she was just concerned about her friend. Clara has since been ignoring us and posting petty snapchat stories about her being an alcoholic. The most recent one is her saying “I am going to drink and smoke with my alcoholic friends”, excluding Ella from posts, and hanging out with old friends who previously ghosted her. AITA for agreeing with Ella and confronting her? | AITA for telling my friend her drinking is borderline alcoholic? | YTA |
10z6ffl | I (21 m) work at a educational centre with a few others and other management members, a few months ago a colleague of mine (23f) mentioned how she would be perfect for a promotion that should be public soon, as she was "studying" to get the qualifications needed sponsored by our workplace, however few days later she mentioned something bout someone was doing her assignments and her basically sitting around and do nothing. Fast forward to about a month or 2 ago, she literally stopped doing certain tasks one by one till she ended up doing barley one task a week, I spoke to management about and they told me they will take care of it, surprise they didn't, instead I had to do the extra work load problem continued to grow as other colleagues got annoyed and started doing the same till I ended up doing everyone's tasks to keep us a float with everything once again I spoke to management which did absolutely nothing, so I decided to start guilt tripping them to do it which has proven to be useful so far. However as soon as she started doing a few of her tasks again she proceeds to call me out on anything I do or have wrong infront of from having a bit of a unibrow to forgetting to turn on a screen one morning. Here's the kicker she has been working for this company for about 3 yrs and one of her parents is a manager so I am almost certain she'll get the promotion even if she doesn't deserve it. Last week the promotion applications opened and she had a mischievous look on her face while applying (yes I applied aswell as I too have the qualifications needed) however I m almost certain that this girl will get the promotion because of her mother.And ngl I am seriously considering quitting if she gets promotion as she already is a bossy useless individual as is and having her as my supervisor means it will get worse....(Disclaimer; most of my colleagues agree that she doesn't deserve it however we all feel like there's nothing we can really do about it)1# Should I expose her for not doing her own assignments?2# What should I do?3# Should we start a petition if she gets the promotion? | WIBTA if i expose my colleagues? | NTA |
10z678x | So my partner has recently become obsessed with singing. I have thirty years experience so we have a lot of instruments and stuff at home, but I’ve really fallen off the bandwagon (pun intended). He’s not very good but he’s just starting out. Everyone can get better and I’m trying to help him do so. I Can always hear him because the apartment is very small.Problem is he’s taken to practicing badly all the time. He’s constantly trying to hit notes singing and he’s usually off by a half step. He uses a tuner to try to match the tone but I have explained to him the tuner is picking up the instrument. He’ll ask me for feedback and show me the exercises he finds online while refusing to do the ones I propose (the ones he’s found are good for singers but they assume you can already hit the pitches).We fight about this constantly. He asks me to come see what he’s doing, and he sings on the piano. I’ll tell him he’s sharp or flat, and then he calls me impossible because the tuner says he’s right (even though the tuner is picking up the instrument). If he sings without the tuner he’s completely off but then he claims the tuner isn’t working, and that I’m not even giving him a chance to hit the note…in ten seconds. I get upset and tell him that my ear can hear he’s off, so he should trust me rather than a machine he himself claims isn’t working half the time.I’ll apologize for being impatient and explain I am trying to support his goal and he’ll pick a fight that my standards are too high, when in my eyes he will never get better without decent feedback. Rinse and repeat.So Reddit AITA for telling him when he’s not hitting the key? This has been going on for two months and I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable. | AITA for providing singing feedback to my partner? | NTA |
10za4un | I 28F live with my Bf 30M and roommate 36MI.... Have never been able to smell, I dunno why/how but I don't know what anything smells like, my nose no longer works, be it from what I used to do for work or from when I was younger. I couldn't tell you, I just know I don't know the difference between a sweet candle and wet dog. Our roommate has Decided I'm faking it, he's told me he thinks I'm faking it and will prove I'm faking it.He asks what something smells like, if this smells, if that smells. Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice in an hour. Be it home, at stores, or out with friends. Today, I'm in our room, relaxing, scrolling through reddit, and my bf playing on the computer. Roommate comes in, asks if the washer still smells. As it apparently smells like mildew. My bf took his headset off to respond, but roommate stops him and says *No I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to her! Put your headset back on" I look at him and he says " Well? Does it? " And I respond, rather snippy cause I'm tired of being asked, that I dunno. I can't smell it. He goes " are you getting mad at me? For asking a question?! " And I say I'm annoyed I have to keep repeating myself. He says " Well I'm sorry I can't remember. It's not my job to remember. But you don't need to hold a tone" acting hurt and apologizing over and over that 'he just can't remember! It's not something he needs to remember' and I need to forgive him. My bf told our roommate to f off and now he's upset that I'm " Mad " about something he can't control, bf thinks he's being a whiny jerk.He's told our neighbors, my friends he meets, and people at stores that I can't smell. Yet he claims he can't remember when he tries to get me to sniff something.Roommates daughter came by tonight, as her dad's upset. She says I need to be patient with him, as all the drugs he used when he was younger have made his memory very bad and his social skills drop. It's Friday right now. He asked me this question on Monday as well, he called Wednesday to ask if the bathroom air freshener was nice, since he got a new one.It feels like I'm being mocked at times. My best friend thinks the roommate is just teasing cause he likes me, but doesn't want to step on my bfs toes.AITA for being annoyed by this????? Feels like I'm going insane | AITA For having an annoyed tone towards my roommate | NTA |
10z8wx4 | I (14ftm) have a strained relationship with my dad (45m). He is basically every -phobic under the sun that doesn't involve actual fear, but just hate. I have been dealing with this for a long time, but last night put the icing on the cake. Me and my sister were gonna eat leftovers, but my mom had been on the phone with her friend, so she hadn't heated up dinner so it was up to me to heat up me and my sister's food. I put in my sister's for about 6 minutes and it was sizzling so i figured it was done and that she could come and get it when she was ready. My mom came over and said that it was still cold and my dad blew up on me. He went on about how i was gonna give my sister cold food, and how i was selfish because as long as i had my food it was fine. I started to cry because every day of my life i always work to take care of everyone other than myself, i haven't even had a solid 3 meals a day in over a week. I just shook my head and went to the bathroom. I came back and ate my dinner, and went to take a shower. After my shower, i was still feeling pretty shitty so I just stayed in my room and scrolled through tiktok to kinda take my mind off of it. After like 2 hours of me feeling like shit because of what happened, my dad came in my room and said "Im going to bed, im sorry for yelling at you, its just that you need to take better care of your mom and sister" and i started crying and he hugged me and i didnt wanna be weird so i hugged back and just started sobbing. He expects me to take care of my mom and my sister every day of my life and when i do something for me Im the bad guy. I told my best friend what happened and they told me "What? You literally work so hard, why is he giving you shit?", but when i tried to tell my mom how i felt about it, and how i was still angry at him, she just said "He's your dad, and you're overreacting, you need to stop taking shit so personal" and i proceeded to get mad at her for that because she just doesn't know how it is for me. i have severe anxiety and depression that sometimes gets so bad i can barely get out of bed. I need an outside opinion so tell me, am i overreacting or is my anger justified? | AITA for not heating up my sister's food all the way? | NTA |
10z8te8 | I (28M) went on a weeklong trip to the French Alps with my roommate (28F) and a group of friends in mid-January. On the first day, she had a severe skiing accident, was helicoptered to a hospital where she stayed for 10 days before being med flighted back to the US. I was at her bedside the entire time and have fully supported her through her recovery at home. As a doctor myself, I was actively involved in all of her medical care, as well as followup appointments. She is now independent and on a route to full recovery. We have one friend in the area that is here to help her. Now that we’re a few weeks out, a group of my guy friends invited me to a local ski trip for a weekend. I haven’t gotten to ski yet this season because my roommate (also my fiancée) got injured the first day of the trip. AITA for going skiing after her injury? | AITA for going skiing | YTA |
10z6oel | I commissioned an artist to make a perler bead model of my oc back in October. At first the artist was really nice and helpful, throughout the past four months i’d ask for an update and they’d be informative. They made a 3D version of the model to show me how it’d look, but that’s all i got. Now it’s February and i messaged the artist today asking if at this point i could just have a refund since it’s been so long. They told me that the supplies to make my model would be there soon, and asked if i could be patient. That’s when i got a little frustrated and i admit i could’ve said things better but here’s what i said word for word, “Okay but i’m still not happy about. Like it’s literally been 4 months and i haven’t heard any updates from you throughout all of that time i always had to reach out to you to get an update. im almost certain that if i wasn’t reaching out right now and asking for my money back you would’ve just let me forget about it. i am very disappointed in your service” They then came back and said all of this,“I actually wouldn’t have. The reason why I haven’t been giving any updates is because there’s been no updates to give. I’m not one to just take money and run because that’s not how I run my business. Actually, with my beads coming in today, I would’ve told you and all of my clients that they came in and shown a photo of such. Then I would’ve gotten to work on the models. I can’t control how fast my materials come in, especially when they’re coming in from another country that had to pause shipping things out due to New Years happening in their country. Believe me, I’m just as frustrated with not being able to work as working is my life’s blood. Many things just haven’t been falling into place as much as I’d like them to be. I’m very good with giving updates and WIPs if there’s any to be given, there just hasn’t been. I’m not sure you’d want to hear “the beads haven’t come in yet” every week. I for one would find that stressful and draining to receive. You can talk to all my past clients and they will let you know that I’m really speedy once my materials actually come in as it only takes 8hrs to make a full model. Like I said, the wait was literally due to something I couldn’t control.”I’m trying to be understanding but i’m so tired of this. Also is it not weird that they took a commission without having the supplies in the first place or is that just me? I don’t really know so, AITA? I have all out chats saved if anyone would like to read them all i’ll make an imgur link in the comments | AITA for waiting on a commission for 4 months and finally getting mad about it? | NTA |
10z6n0z | Names changed btw.Matt and I had been close friends, like brothers. We were both early twenties at the time and had been friends since our mid to late teens. We became really close in that time. We hung out a lot, went for drinks, played video games, I helped him and his fiance with moving troubles and other things they needed. I helped with their wedding even. I would say I considered him a best friend. Then one day after we had hung out and had some wings and beer at a sports bar, he texts me the next day saying that he can't hang out or talk to me anymore. I press as to why because I'm devastated. He says it's because his wife told him not to. I had no clue why, I never had an issue with her, there wasn't a fight or anything. Just, boom! Yall can't be friends. It sent me down a bad mental path that I got out of with time because it felt like I lost a brother. Then one day or of the blue he contacts me again like nothing ever happened, we didn't talk anything out, say why it happened, he just acted like everything was how it was before. I couldn't do it, after a couple of times talking and texting I stopped responding to any of his calls or texts. I was angry at his wife and whatever dumb reason she had for ending our friendship and hurt by him because it felt like he just threw everything away and then when it was better for him/her just pop back into my life like nothing happened. At this point I've moved on, I have a new friend group and I'm not looking to have him as a friend. He still sends me texts every now and then but I never respond. If I were to talk to him I couldn't do it without bringing up what happened, his wife and how she and he hurt me. I don't want to cause any issues between them, and I wouldn't want to rekindle the friendship so I don't feel it would be fair to bring it up and cause conflict between them for basically nothing. If I wanted to be friends or even acquaintances again that would be different to me. I've called myself an asshole because of this to anyone I've talked to about it but I feel like it's better this way. What do yall think? | AITA? Because I kinda feel like it | NTA |
10zde0k | For context here, this happened at my school library in the evening (8 PM) with my friends and I‘m a junior in high school. (Grade 11)At my school library, we have these mini rooms that have doors and are fully enclosed so that you can talk without disturbing others. I enter the library and I see my friends in one of these rooms and I go over to say talk to them. As I’m talking to them, we’re making lots of noises and because I left the door open, the library can hear us. A librarian comes over and asks us to quiet down. This is the conversation I had with the librarian:Librarian: You guys are being too loud. The sound of you guys is echoing throughout the whole library.Me: Sorry, we‘ll close the door.Librarian: These rooms are not soundproof. The library can still hear you.Me: Sorry. We’ll quiet down. (Starts to close door and librarian starts to walk away)Me: Do you want us to put muffles over our mouths to quiet down? (Door closes)Librarian walks away and comes back 10 seconds later. She is clearly pissed and not happy.Librarian: I would like to ask for an apology. It's either you don't talk back to me or you leave the library.Me: I sincerely apologize for what I've said and our loud noise.Librarian walks away5 minutes my friends and I leave library.**Tldr: My friends are being noisy in a library. Librarian comes over and tells us to quiet down. I jokingly suggest that I should put a muffle over my mouth. Librarian becomes pissed and asks for an apology.**AITA? | AITA for suggesting that I put muffles over my mouth to a librarian after being told to quiet down? | YTA |
10zrvth | Last night my girlfriend and I went to a party my fraternity was hosting. I am currently trying to limit the amount of alcohol I am drinking so I can cut, but my girlfriend was not so we had very different drinking habits there.During the 3 or 4 hours we were there I had like 3 white claws while my girlfriend drank to get drunk with her girls that were there. Eventually we got to a point where it was very clear my girlfriend wasn’t doing well, so I decided to drive her home.Like I said she was very drunk, so she was wasn’t walking straight, was a bit incoherent and once we left the house, she threw up in the bushes. I was there with her the whole time and asked one of our pledges to get me some water and Gatorade for her.While we were waiting, these two random girls ran up on us and were trying to talk to us. I’m convinced one was on something as she was convinced she was friends with my girlfriend and said that she’d take her home. I explained the situation and told her that I would be taking her home. The girls wouldn’t leave us alone and despite me telling them that my girlfriend is in fact my girlfriend, they refused to believe us. My girlfriend was again off her ass and was in her own drunk world and wasn’t being helpful. Eventually I just grabbed my girlfriend and tried to get to my car so we could leave but these two girls refused to let me leave. They literally stood in front of me and tried to pull my girlfriend off of me. I was trying to push through them and they would not let me go. At this point I was so fucking tired of whatever dumb shit they were trying to do so I went off.I told them that they needed to get the fuck out of my way. I told them that they’re need to leave me and my girlfriend alone before they do something they regret. They decided to continue be dicks about this and I walked through them. I finally got my girlfriend to my car and they continued to bitch at me and were telling me to leave my girlfriend alone. Finally some of my brother saw us and came and distracted them while I got my girlfriend into the car and was able to drive off.This morning I got multiple DM’s about what happened from one of the girls that attended the party. She explained that she knew the girls they thought my girlfriend was ”in danger” and they wanted to help her. She demanded I apologize to them for how I acted, yelling at them and walking through them.AITA? | AITA for yelling some chicks that were preventing me from taking my drunk girlfriend back to her place? | NAH |
10zm5a7 | Hi, using a throwaway. I'll provide a bit of background but I'm not going into more detail to be concise.Also I'm 22f if anyone wants to knowMy dad, to put it simply, was not a good dad and an even worse husband. Yeah we had food, a home, a comfy bed to sleep in etc, and dad said that he takes care of us because he's obligated to. He'd scream at my mom, say we're disrespecting him at the tiniest things and his position as the man of the house. And although he didn't say it outright, it was clear he considered mom, me and my sisters beneath him and his "real" (birth) family. He was always the victim and always right. We grew up in this toxic environment and mom put up with it for the sake of playing happy families in front of everyone. She did eventually divorce him a few years ago, though. So dad is getting married again. I said I'm not attending the wedding and acting like the loving daughter, for obvious reasons.He got really upset and said I'm holding onto small things from childhood, and his fiancee's kids will be there to support her, and he would like his own kids to attend (my younger sister isn't going either btw). I'm still saying no, but he said he's still my dad and we're hurting him by doing this.My mom though, said I should go instead of making him upset, and it's not such a big deal.So AITA? | AITA for telling my dad I'm not going to his wedding? | NTA |
10zo055 | I'm 19(F) and I look after my disabled mother, who has mobility issues due to a stroke she had 8 years ago. I do the cooking, giving my mother a shower if she needs, cleaning, dealing with any household issues etc if I'm being completely honest, it's like I'm a parent to her.I have psoriasis on my hands and other parts of my body and as a result my skin is very flakey and I have multiple creams to soothe it and keep the dry skin at bay. As I do all the cooking and don't want lotioned or dry skin to go in the food, I wear gloves to prevent this. Originally I used disposable gloves but me and my mum are extremely low income and at times have to budget down the exact penny so I don't think using a new pair of disposable gloves everytime I make a meal is a good idea.So I use rubber gloves, which I make sure are perfectly washed and dried everytime I use them. The rubber gloves I use for cooking are a different pair to the ones I use for washing dishes. I never mix them up.I had relatives come over and they saw me cooking and were immediately disgusted and saying that they weren't going anything I made if I was using rubber gloves, how could I serve my mother food like this etc. I was hurt, because I only use them because I don't want my skin condition to affect anything. And I don't see how using clean rubber gloves is different than those rubber coverings you get to put over bowls or plates of leftover food.My mum didn't defend me and just told me to get rid of the gloves as well.I told them if they had this big of an issue, they could cook but they said that wasn't the point. I told them about my psoriasis and they said that wasn't the point. My mother is technically capable of making food herself. She can serve herself breakfast and make freezer food but she chooses not to because she's gotten used to coddling, being enabled and this lifestyle. I want her to have some amount of independence so normally she makes her breakfast (cereal, toast etc) while i make lunch and dinner. Because of my relatives reaction, I make dinner and lunch 5 days out of 7, instead of the full week. My relatives are calling me and texting saying I'm being rude and disrespectful and ableist. That I should think about my mother. | AITA for using rubber gloves when cooking? | NTA |
10znhus | I've been married for 5 years and have a good relationship with my wife's family, but lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure to attend a dinner with them every weekend. I like my wife's family, but I feel like I need some time for myself too.My wife was upset with me because I declined the invitation to dinner last night, and now we're arguing about it. I want her to understand that I love spending time with her family, but I also want to have some time to myself.AITA for not wanting to attend dinner with my wife's family every weekend? | AITA for not wanting to attend dinner with my wife's family every weekend? | NTA |
10zpn32 | My mom has a friend, we’ll call her “Marie”, about my mom’s age, that visits us every few months or so for about 10 years. She’s a nice woman and is very conversational, but since I was a young girl, I was never fond of her.I remember she always had something to say about my appearance. Never anything bad or insulting, but the comments didn’t make me feel good either.When I was about 11-12, when I was developing breasts, we were all at the table eating. I stood up to grab something and Marie exclaimed “DANCEDANGEROUS7950 YOURE GETTING BOOBS!!” Everyone laughed. Except me. I remember that was stunned, embarrassed and didn’t know what to do, so I went to my room and cried, not eating dinner. My mom came up later on and defended her, saying “Hon she’s just jealous. Don’t let it get to you.” I did. Eventually. It still was humiliating. The comments were primarily about my hair, though. For reference, I have curly hair, about a 3C pattern. This was around the time that there wasn’t much information about curly hair, so not only did I not know how to take care of it, I was ashamed of it and always complained that I wanted it straight. It took me a long time (kindergarten to senior year of HS) to grow to love my hair now and properly care for it.Between those awkward stages of hating my hair, Marie’s comments would be “I wish I was able to just roll out of bed without doing my hair” or “Your curls are beautiful, but I want to see it straight one day!” OR, and this one’s my favorite “Just brush your hair, then it’ll look nice!” At the time, I just dealt with it, and even if I told her to not touch my hair (that’s an entirely different discussion), my parents would tell me to “be nice.”So, this leads to what happened last night. Marie came to visit as per usual and everything was all good and uneventful. Then while we had dinner she, like clockwork, said “Dancedangerous7950 you’re braver than me, I can’t pull of that hair, you should try straightening it.”I had enough. So I glared at her. She said “It’s a compliment I love your hair !” I said “That’s not a compliment, and *you know that*.” Shortly afterwards I went to bed.This morning my mom scolded me and said I was unnecessarily rude to Marie and ruined everyone’s mood. I defended myself and basically said “I understand that you’re defending your friend, but these comments are not kind and have never made me feel good.” It ended in a screaming match and I left for work. So AITA? My parents think I am. | AITA for refusing to accept my family friend’s compliment | NTA |
10zq3bf | Hi there, I'm 19F and my sister Lauren is 17F. Background: For the past 6 months, I've been donating $100 to a non-profit charity every month. Unfortunately, I was fired from my job recently, leaving me with too little to continue my donations. However, 2 months ago, I came up with the idea of raising funds by selling printed T-shirts and cups. I drew out the designs and sold them on Redbubble, with all my profits going towards my favourite charity. So far, I've only earnt $30 but it's better than nothing.A month ago, Lauren decided to copy me. She opened a Redbubble account and excitedly told me that she would be selling tees for charity too. I was skeptical as she did not draw at all (and wasn't interested in it), but tried to be as supportive as I could - giving her advice and telling her how the website works, etc. When she first showed me her product designs, I was stunned. They were intimidatingly good - really great art with HD quality. Amazed, I asked her "Have you been working on your art secretly?". To my surprise, she started laughing, then said - "I may or may not have...*generated this using AI!*"I was totally horrified, especially as an artist myself. I told her that AI devalues art made by real humans. Selling things with generated art is essentially cheating. Lauren rolled her eyes and said, "It's for a good cause". I tried to convince her to not do it, but she didn't listen. Fast forward to yesterday. Lauren's Redbubble shop has become really successful. She has earnt nearly $400 - which is no surprise at all because AI art is so *professional*. I'm not going to lie: I am bitter that she stole my idea then got successful without putting in a single drop of effort.At lunch, she triumphantly announced that she had reached 50 orders. My mom and dad were so proud of her and even suggested we go out for a fancy dinner as a celebration (which they never do). I couldn't help but say - "Mom, you should treat the AI to dinner, not Lauren." Lauren laughed and said - "Why are you still mad about that?"I replied "I'm not mad with you, I'm just upset that you are selling AI-generated art under YOUR name. It's cheating!" Suddenly, Lauren blew up. "It's not cheating! I'm tired of you shitting on my success. You have no reason to be mad - I'm not pocketing the money. I'm donating it."I told her, donated or not, it was still unethical. She yelled angrily "Do you even care about the charity? Or do you just like feeling good about yourself?" I was really hurt by her statements. Firstly, I did NOT shit on her success. I was the one who gave her advice on how to even start her business! Secondly, *I* was the one who donated $100 every month out of my pathetic student money. She just jumped on the bandwagon. Upset and angry, I left to my room. Lauren went to stay at her boyfriend's place - I haven't heard from her ever since the argument. I don't really feel bad (after all that she said about me!) but my mom says that I was too harsh on her. AITA? | AITA for slamming my sister? She generated art using AI and sold them | YTA |
10zs2gf | My SIL, Jen, has 4 kids (12f, 6f, 5m, 2f). Jen isn't really in a good position to be a parent. She struggles with addiction and mental health issues that she tends to refuse treatment for. As a result of this, her kids have been placed with me multiple times over the years to the point where they have bedrooms in my and my husband's house and they all go to schools/daycare near our house. The kids have been with us since September. This time looks like it might be permanent. Jen gets weekly supervised visits but she doesn't show up half the time and when she does, there's a good chance that she has to be separated from the kids for their safety. All of the kids dread these visits. At their most recent visit, the youngest started crying and saying she wanted "mommy". Jen went to her but she was still crying and asking for her mommy and everyone figured out who she was talking about. This set Jen off. She had to be separated from the kids again and really hasn't been doing well physically or mentally since then. Jen's family has been messaging me lately to accuse me of trying to steal Jen's kids and say that I never should've let them call me mommy. My friends and family are divided. AITA for letting the kids call me "mommy" | AITA for letting my nieces and nephew call me mommy? | NTA |
10zgv0g | My wife is Irish American. Her parents moved to the US before she was born but she was born in Ireland during a holiday there. She spent most of her childhood between both countries. She took me there several times while we were dating, we got married and had our honeymoon there and it's someplace special for us. Our three children have Irish names. Caoimhe, Caelan and Cian. Of all the names Caelan has been the most disrespected by my parents. They were outraged we would give our son a girls name, told us we were making life so much harder for him. They try to say it weird to make a point. Caoimhe they have always stumbled on and I think it comes back to them wanting us to give her an American nickname when she was born. It's not an always happening thing so we corrected and let it go. But of late there have been more comments made and I worry they will start taking this shit to my kids.So I started putting distance there. They asked me about it and I told them we had discussed it many times already and they still didn't let up on the names. They told me it was an overreaction. I told them they were disrespectful of my kids names and for that reason, they didn't deserve to be around their grandkids. I told them they could always change if they wanted more involvement but I would not have them disrespect the names we chose. This pissed them off and they accused me of using the kids as weapons. They also accused me of denying my kids family.AITA? | AITA for telling my parents they are disrespectful of my kids names and don't deserve to be around their grandkids? | NTA |
10zqjwj | So like the title suggests, my son will be turning 11 in a month and a half and I am planning a big birthday for him. I am planning on inviting my entire family but not my eldest nephew. He is my brothers son and honestly a real piece of work. He does not like us. Has never liked us. Is rude to everyone and can not stand us. There is definitely some parental alienation going on as his mother had no interest in the family even when she was dating my brother and then when she got pregnant with him she did everything she could to minimise us with her son. He is rude to his cousins, his own siblings and stepmom. Because of his mom he was rarely at family events but when he was. He would misbehave, get annoyed with his dad, demand to go home and refuse to talk to anyone. For his 11th birthday my brother completely decked out his back garden. Giant cake, balloons, streamers, games, and a large BBQ. My nephew threw a complete temper tantrum over it and wouldn’t talk to anyone. He sat in the corner for hours and refused to talk to anyone and no one hung out with him because they all know he doesn’t like them. I feel bad for my brother. I really do. He was so excited to be a dad considering our dad wasn’t really that present in our lives. He has said himself he will just take a step back if things don’t improve. I don’t see the point of inviting a kid who hates us and probably won’t even show up anyway. He never has before. But again for my brothers sake should I just invite him. AITA? | AITA for not inviting my nephew to my sons birthday? | NTA |
10zq37o | My family is a bit messy. I love them all. But us all being together is not a good idea. I have an older brother who's 10 years older than me. I adore my brother. He despises the man I call dad. We have the same bio dad, but I was only 3 when he died, and mom remarried a year later. Our dad's brother. My brother hates him because he feels like dad was just waiting for our bio dad to die, to just swoop in and take his place. My dad hates that my brother changed toward mom and him after they married. They argue over everything. Dad's quite the hothead and my brother isn't the most expressive person so bottles a lot up until they argue. Mom tries to get my brother to feel differently about things. Has used some guilt trips on him in the past. Some stuff I only found years later. Like the fact my brother wished a lot of terrible things on dad when he learned I had started calling him dad, feeling he should have discouraged that and made it clear bio dad was only dad and he was just some scumbag who stole his dead brother's family. Then dad became enraged when my brother refused to let him come to his graduation. He told mom she could come alone or not at all but he was not playing happy family.The last time we were all together was when grandpa (dad and bio dad's father) died and well... my parents were hurt to learn that my brother had married and had a child and especially hurt that I knew, had attended the wedding and knew my nephew. It became so tense. My parents were upset with me. My brother told them not to be and that he was none of their business. They said they deserved to see their grandson. My brother said dad was not a grandparent and he wished it had been him instead of bio dad who died and how his death wouldn't have mattered in the grand scheme of things.Now I'm engaged and I can't stand to choose between them, can't stand to risk a fight, so I decided to elope. My brother said we should come for dinner to celebrate sometime and told me he hoped I had the best wedding. My parents were upset and wanted to know why I'd elope. After enough pushing I told them it was because of the family drama and not wanting to choose between them and my brother. This made them so upset and maybe even angry. They told me I was punishing them for my brother's bad behavior.AITA? | AITA for telling my parents I want to elope to avoid family drama? | NTA |
10zjo67 | This is my first post here so I apologize if things aren’t formatted right or I drag on. Basically, my brother (18) had a kid a few months ago and the baby has health problems that require him to follow an intense medical routine, and he has to be handled carefully. After he was born my brother got a job while the baby was still in nicu and since baby got out of nicu he’s been asking me to watch him while he’s at work because he and the mom are separated. At first I didn’t have him pay me because I felt uncomfortable asking for money, but then my mom encouraged me to so I did. When I watched the baby during the week (8 hours, 5 days a week) I charged him $50 a week, which isn’t bad because I also watched the baby when he needed to sleep sometimes, and I’d watch him when my brother had something to do. I also did his nighttime meds when I watched him when my brother was at work.Today my brother said I’m TA because “family shouldn’t need to be paid to babysit family” and that he can’t afford to pay me at all and that I should watch the baby for free. AITA for wanting to be paid?EDIT here because people have been asking:I am about to be 20, the reason why I have time to babysit is because I have a brain tumor and a spinal condition which leave me unable to work or drive. Baby’s mom left my brother Because he was verbally abusive and did the bare minimum to care for the baby; they have shared custody. | AITA for charging my brother for babysitting? | NTA |
10zpnrd | Husband and I are pregnant and trying to decide on baby names. My husband and I don’t share a last name, but we’ve already decided that the kids will take his last name. I recently told him that I’d love our child to have a middle name that reflects my side of the family, especially because I won’t share a last name with my kids either.My husband laughed this off saying that I was ridiculous and our kids already “get all of me” because I carry them during pregnancy. I’m extremely hurt by this- literally all I’m asking for is a middle name to connect my children to my family. The only middle names he has really suggested are based off of fictional characters.Am I the asshole for pressing him on this or is he right that names don’t really matter? | AITA for wanting to name our child after my side of the family? | NTA |
10zpmtg | I live in an apartment on my own. My sister is a single mother with an almost 4 year old daughter. She doesn't live in the same state as me but when she comes back to visit she usually stays with family. This time she stayed with me and I was fine with it. I love my niece and sister.​​I struggle with anxiety and getting started with the day. I can be anxious about getting to work so every morning I wear earphones and listen to music while I get ready. I would just play music but out of respect for my neighbors I don't. My sister was here for about a week and every morning getting ready for work I still put on my headphones and do everything. I will be in the kitchen making breakfast with headphones on so for that hour I take getting ready I can't hear her or my niece. My sister for some reason would SEE me in headphones and still try to talk to me as if I could hear. Like she'd walk in and I'd see her looking at me and her lips moving. She'd just be talking at a normal volume as if I could hear. Like who sees someone in headphones and just starts talking? The first couple times I would them off for a second and say "I can't hear you, listening to music" and she'd nod and then I'd put them back on. But like a few minutes later she'd do it again. At that point I just would continue doing what I was doing and not respond. I assumed she'd get the message. Then she'd tap me on the shoulder and I'd take them off. I'd expect it to be something serious that needs addressing but it'd usually just be some mundane thing.​​She also would just let my niece be in the apartment and kitchen and be off in the bathroom or somewhere else. My niece is pretty well behaved and she isn't one of those kids where you look away for a second and they are doing something crazy. But still a child should be watched because she does get into something sometimes. She would be like "I'm gonna get ready" and just walk somewhere else. Obviously I don't hear it. I have my back turned and am in the kitchen. 20 minutes later she'd come out and ask if I was even watching. I told her that this one hour in the morning I wear headphones while I get ready. After work or any other time I don't. She said that it was mean because she has a kid. I told her "you get ready every morning in your house without me or another person there. do that here." She thought it was rude.​​When I am off we talk a lot. I interact and played with my niece tons. I don't think it's crazy for that one hour while getting ready to be mine. I consider that working hours anyway​EDIT- On the weekend I wasn't wearing headphones or ignoring them. I didn't have a place I needed to be so I was just talking and interacting | AITA for wearing headphones and not paying attention to a child | NTA |
10zpmt3 | While I (32m) was in middle school I started receiving social security checks due to my father being a 100% disabled veteran. My mother also received her own monthly check and so did my brother. During this time my parents went through a separation and I moved from Maryland to New York with my mother while my brother stayed in Maryland with my dad to finish school. I started receiving the checks in 7th grade for $1,000 a month for my future/college/personal needs. My father also paid my mother monthly payments for me so all the checks could be saved until I stopped receiving them at 18. My mother also worked two jobs. A couple years later my father and mother ended up getting back together and have been ever since so I never needed any of the money from the checks for anything other than my future. Fast forward to when I turn 18. My father tells my mother to give me the account with all my money that has accumulated from 7th grade through high school until I was 18. I told him I wanted her to invest it and put it away for ten years so I wouldn’t blow it and at 28 I could maturely use this money and I’d never seen my father so proud of me. I received an account at 28yo with only 12k. That’s only 12 months worth of checks. I’m missing over 35k of checks Plus I’m missing ten years of interest and whatever I would of made putting it in CD’s. I lost my shit. My father has begged me for the last four Years not to report her for stealing all that money but since I was 28 I’ve never looked at her the same and Have so much anger and resentment towards her. She stole so much from me and my future. I was depending on that money to travel, buy a home, new car. I honestly want to report her to the social security administration and police even though she’s my mother. I can’t even look at her without feeling so hurt, betrayed, and on top of that having my father tell me not to. Basically calling me an asshole for even thinking about reporting her. My mother had the nerve to say I’m overreacting. AITA? | AITA for wanting to report my mother for fraud? | NTA |
10zshtp | My brother who is 22 refuses to get his license. He hasn’t saved up a penny to get the car that he bought 6 months ago registered and he’s had 2 jobs since last year. My mom expects me to drive him to and from work on the weekends so she can visit with family. I don’t live in the same house but I do live less than a mile away so she doesn’t think it’s a problem. I told him multiple times why doesn’t he just walk to work. It’s only 2 miles. I even gave him a bike to use to get to and from work but he just keeps leaving it at work and expecting a ride home. I’m fed up and I plan on just falling asleep and I have no intentions of taking him to work today. Would I be the asshole for doing so? He’ll probably be late but I don’t care. | WIBTA if I refuse to take my brother to work after telling him I would | NTA |
10zi02i | We've been together for nearly two years and in that time he moved into a new flat with a private bathroom. I live nearby so we often swap where we stay over. Whenever I go to his I nag him to clean the bathroom. It's dusty, like the corners have a hairy, thick layer of dust. And the sink, toilet, and shower could all benefit from a simple scrub. He doesn't struggle with depression or anything that would limit his ability to take on these taks. He has clearly said that it is a matter of preference. That he would draw the line if it were dirtier, but he believes it doesn't pose any issue. I've told him I'd be happier if he cleaned it. He says it's a good opportunity to practice being out of control of a situation. I think he's low-key right, but I share the space too. And as for the living at home. I moved home recently. But when I had my own place I kept the shared bathroom clean. | AITA for expecting my (f22) bf (m25) to clean his bathroom | NTA |
10zqejh | I've (42f) had COVID for 8 days, and I've barely left our bedroom. My husband "Will" (37m) has been sleeping on the couch the whole time. He's been really awesome through the whole thing, bringing me food and cookies and Gatorade. I've had a rough go of it (despite being double boosted), so it's been really helpful. To be clear, we've been together for 5 years and married for 2. We very rarely argue, and are generally very happy and treat each other with kindness and respect.Will likes to drink on Friday nights. So last night he had some beers, I'm assuming quite a few. I had been trying to fall asleep for 2 hours, but couldn't because I felt terrible. At 5:30am, Will came into the room and said he needed to sleep in his bed. I get that, because he's been on the couch for a week. But. 1. I hadn't washed the sheets or pillows and everything was probably covered in COVID.2. Because he hadn't been in bed (and I literally hadn't left it), a bunch of my stuff was on his side. So he comes in, very drunkenly saying he needs to sleep in his bed. I say "No, there's COVID everywhere!" and he proceeds to pull all of my stuff onto the ground, basically throwing it. This includes my pulse oximeter, my new glossybox, cough drops, cookies, water bottle, a present for my boss, etc. He then gets into bed, putting his head on a pillow I've been using all week. I got uncharacteristically upset, and started yelling, and I threw my sweater, and picked up something he had thrown to see if it was broken, and then threw it into a pile of laundry out of anger. This is the most physical we've ever been, because generally, we don't act like this.He sullenly went back downstairs. I checked on him to make sure he was okay, then went back to bed.This morning, he called me from downstairs to apologize, but then he said he just "needed to be in bed" and because my stuff was on his side, it was "okay" to pull it all onto the ground. I told him that it's not acceptable behavior and not like us at all. I then told him when he realizes that it was not okay, we can talk about it. I said goodbye, and hung up.AITA? Did I overreact?​ETA: I get how COVID works. When I said "There's covid everywhere", it was a continuation of a joke we have had all week where he tries to kiss me and I say "But, the covid!" and then we both laugh. I have a history of severe respiratory illness from the flu (which happened when I was younger and healthy), so I'm very cautious with illnesses like this. You genuinely never know what can happen. I didn't want this to turn into a debate on virus transmission, I just wanted to know who acted like TA. | AITA for kicking my husband out of bed after he threw all of things on the ground? | YTA |
10zq7ou | So I, 17m, went on a family trip with my ENTIRE family (60 people, including extended family). Getting everything was quite the mess, especially because our family evolved to have more than 3 different cultures in us. The trip first took us to Europe, where I translated for the most part. It was exhausting. So exhausting in fact, that when we circled around to Hawaii, I couldn’t walk for more than 5 minutes without a break. Worst part, I’m allergic to seafood. And all my so caring family wanted to eat was SEAFOOD. I also had to be an English translator here. Eventually, I was surviving on whatever I can get my hands on, which was really only the ocasional french fries from fish and chips and what else. But then, we had some stupid beach run competiton, where everyone had to compete. So, I began running. And running. Until I couldn‘t handle it, and passed out completely. Like out cold. I was rushed to ER, where the doctor just said to eat more. Everyone was relived, except for one part of the family. My mom’s younger sister. She has 3 kids, between the ages of 4-7. And they were mad. Like steaming mad. The kids kept crying about how the beach race was cut short, and how they wanted MORE SEAFOOD. So of course, my aunt haaddd to lay it on me. But everyone payed it back on them. So now began screaming that I was an a\*\*hole who got the entire family against them. We haven’t cut contact, but it has been chaotic to say the least. Everyone just stays in their room now. But my aunt keeps texting me that I’m an a\*\*hole. So, AITA? I’m | AITA for passing out during the family trip? | NTA |
10zpq4p | Ok so first off I wanna say I actually really liked my SIL Sarah (F26) at first, but after my then bf Ryan (M30) now husband moved in with me she got worse. After Ryan moved in, she decided to come and visit to have a weekend with us swimming, and doing summer activities. I like hosting people at our house so I was pretty excited. I never had any sisters so I was also excited to have a SIL and some girl time. Fast forward to the stay at our house- she refused to pick up after herself, she complained about everything, and she disrespected me multiple times. When I say disrespected I mean she talked over me every time I tried to talk to my husband, left dishes around the house, acted like a child when she didn’t get her way. She basically acted like I was her mom the whole weekend. This was just the first visit. She came to visit multiple times after each one getting worse and worse until my husband Ryan and I got into a huge fight on her last visit. This last visit was the final straw with me. She stayed about 5 days and it was the worst visit yet. This visit was during Christmas and New years. We had a horrible winter storm a few days before Christmas and had gotten way worse by Christmas Eve. SIL called my husband to demand he takes her to the airport in his car with no 4wheel drive in an ice storm even though she drives and SUV. SIL then proceeded to cry when he told her no. Her flight got cancelled so she came to spend Christmas with us which is fine, but she ended up coming with us to my parents/families Christmas. My parents welcomed her in with open arms and were nothing but nice to her, but once we got back to our house she talked shit about my mom who was kind and sweet and called her a bitch for no reason. This made me mad but I didn’t say anything she continued to complain about everything she could find to complain about. She stayed until we had to go to work for the next week and when we went to bed she decided at midnight she was going to do laundry she was slamming the washer door, slamming doors, walking around the house stomping around leaving every light on. My husband wakes up at 5 AM so he was kind of irritated and told her that she needed to be quiet. The fight we got into was because I had finally had enough and was being quiet and kind of passive aggressive towards her, and my husband told me I was being a bitch for acting like that even though he completely agrees with me when she’s not around. There’s definitely more to the story that she’s done but I don’t wanna make this post too long when it’s already long enough I just wanted to vent. I don’t want to cause any issues between him and his sister because that’s his only sibling but she frustrates me and I really don’t like her I kind of cringe whenever I hear her voice or see her call. I know I sound a little mean but am I the asshole? | AITA for disliking my SIL? | NTA |
10zq8ft | I used to be a Bespoke designer before taking a long break because life happens.Six years ago, an acquaintance hit me up to do an collab. She is a singer and she wanted me to make her an outfit and in return she would promote it.We met up at her place and I took her measurements and we made a plan on how to work.For some reason, time really flew by. And our collab just died along the way. We didn’t keep in touch like we said we would and years after the pandemic and my regular job became the prime focus because money.Flash forward 6 years later and 2 weeks ago I get a call from her and she ask me if I still got her fabrics. I had to admit to her that I really didn’t know but I will make sure to look for it because it’s been 6 years and I have moved like 3 times in that period. She said that it is really important for me to find it because it was fabrics that her grandma gave her. I promised her to look for it but I can’t guarantee that I will find it and if I don’t I will make sure to replace it either by paying her the value of the fabric or to find same ones that she got.Yesterday she wrote me to ask if I have found the fabric, I apologized to her that it took awhile for me to get back to her because I have a lot on my plate but that I couldn’t find my boxes where I keep my fabrics and everything from when I used to make clothes. This chick all of the sudden flips out and start sending me tons of voice messages saying that I am in the wrong for loosing her fabrics and that I am inconsiderate for not taking care of her stuff. She literally sent over 10 voice messages just yelling and screaming.I was at work at that time and had to go to the bathroom and ask sent a voice message asking her to calm down and that she can’t blame me for everything. I had no idea that the fabric belonged to her grandmother and nor do I remember if that ever was mentioned in our meeting because it was freaking six years ago! I barely remember what conversations I’ve had one year ago. She of course called me a liar and got even more angrier.And here is what makes me scratch my head: MIND YOU that we have met SEVERAL times after our planned project, we have been in same parties, same gatherings, same cookouts and all because we know the same people. Never once has she mention that she is in need of her fabrics, never once has she asked me what happened to our plans. Not once! But now she want to put pressure on me and blame me for this matter even to the point where she was threatening me saying “you know me and what I am capable of”. I don’t.Am I the only one who don’t understand the way she is coming at me? I have been polite as I can and told her that I will replace it but she is out of her mind. TL;DR: acquaintance that I was supposed to make an outfit for is mad for me not finding her fabric that her grandmother gave her and now after six years of silence and not asking me about it she goes on a rampage because I might have lost it. | AITA for losing an acquaintances fabrics that her grandma gave her? | NTA |
10zmr19 | My(23F) sister(27F) has been in a relationship with her bf(31M) for ~2yrs. I would say this is the most healthy, mature relationship she's been in, and both families see this going all the way. I'm quite happy for her.However, whenever her and bf come to visit, she often seems to mention how our family, and specifically I, have never approved her previous partners. While this is not untrue, I don't understand why she keeps saying this because I have only met 2 of her previous partners, and both relationships ended quite badly. During the relationships, I would say I was amicable with her boyfriends, but I didn't really care or know them enough to like/dislike them, and I formed negative opinions of them after incidents she told me about. So whenever she said this, I was pretty bothered bc it sounded like I was unreasonably judgemental and disapproving of her relationships, which is not true.I usually let it go, but one day my sis, her bf, our mom and I were sitting at the table and when she said this again. I finally tried to clarify by saying "Well think of the relationships you've had". "See!" she tried to use it to prove her point. So I said, "Really? *ex's name*?". She instantly got serious, hushed-yelling, "Why would you say that?! You crazy?! You wanna die?!". Even our mom scolded me. You'd think her ex was Voldemort. At the time, because she freaked out so bad, I felt my heart drop like I had done something terrible. Thinking back, I don't understand why it was such a big deal. It's not like I said her ex was better, and she told me they'd spoken about bad exes before.More recently, I was on a video call with my sister. She was in her living room and her bf was in another room playing video games. She started talking about how her bf fits nicely with our family and how we find him more attractive than her previous bfs "although mom encouraged me to date *ex's name*" she said lowering her voice a little. I didn't really understand what she was talking about but said "oh I wouldn't know since I only really know "ex's name*". She freaked out at me again, hush-yelling, "You really gonna say it that loud?!", ranting about the previous incident, how I mentioned her ex in front of her bf, and she knew I was wrong bc our mom scolded me. I was honestly taken aback this time bc 1) she said the name first, and 2) I was speaking normally on the call. I had no way of knowing how loud I was on her speaker or if her bf could hear our conversation. But even if he did, I don't understand why it is such a big deal. I think they are old and mature enough to recognize they've had previous relationships. After yelling at me, my sister hung up, and I sent her a text telling her not to bring up her previous bfs to me then when he is around.Is it that insensitive or rude to mention an ex's name in front of a current partner? Or is my sister overreacting? | AITA for mentioning my sister's ex's name in front of her current bf? | NTA |
10zt8k8 | In January, I (f28) moved to Europe to teach English. I’m not going to say which country as it’s too easily identifiable.One of the classes I teach, is an after school class for kids aged 10-12. They finish it around 1-2pm.I’ve noticed that the kids are not collected by the parents and just leave on their own and it does not sit right with me. It’s a serious safety issue (the school is located in the town centre). One day, I sent kids with a note letting parents know that they’re expected to collect their kids or they will be called and expected to collect their children and the kids won’t be released on their own.After the next class, only one parent came and was mad they had to come (seriously? It’s your child!). So I waited with the kids for 30 minutes. The kids were restless and kept telling me it’s fine to let them go to which I refused, they’re literally children. I started calling parents and many told me to let the kids go. I told them that absolutely not and they had to come and collect their kids. Eventually, they all did within 2 hours but only 2 children came to my next class and now the school director sent me an email to have a meeting with me.I ranted to another teacher (the actual English teacher at the school) and she virtually told me I was a crazy asshole because kids here walk and take busses all the time and I was way out of line.I told her I didn’t think so but she said that parents are pissed off. And sure enough, my email is filled with mail from angry parents. I’m dreading opening them after the first few.I genuinely only care about safety of the kids but everyone is acting like I am the asshole. So I need you to tell me who’s the asshole here. Me or the neglectful parents? | AITA for expecting parents to collect their kids after classes? | YTA |
10zpld2 | I live in a large apt building and the residents share a communal laundry room. It only has 3 washers and 3 dryers that a bunch of residents share so naturally there’s often a backlog and it can be a waiting game to get a machine.The problem is a lot of people just leave their clothes in them well after they’re done with a cycle. I’ve seen clothes left in a washer or dryer for several hours, even all day, holding up the machines and it’s extremely frustrating. So when this happens I’ve been moving the clothes out of the machines if they’re done so I can use them. I also put up a sign that said “Please promptly remove your clothes from the washer/dryer when they’re done. Otherwise they will be moved to the laundry counter to free up the machine for the next person.” I guess my neighbor saw the sign cause he texted me saying I’m an AH for putting it up. He knows it’s a peeve of mine cause he’s walked in when I was moving his clothes from a dryer (they had been sitting in there for 2 hours and I needed the dryers). He said it’s not right to move people’s clothes, that I should just be patient and that I’m not the landlord so I can’t put up signs like that. I’ve complained to the landlord/management before and asked them to say something to residents or put up a sign but they never did. So AITA here? | AITA for putting up a sign in the laundry room telling people their clothes will be moved if they don’t get them? | NTA |
10zpvxk | So I (25f) have lived with my brother (28m) and father (53m) since starting school. Originally when I moved in I was supposed to only focus on school, that’s all him and my dad wanted at the time. But then only a year into the arrangement my dad moved out. Leaving me scrambling to find a job to cover half the bills. It’s been 5 years. And he moved back in about a month ago. He promised he would help. You see after Covid hit and my brother lost his job and was collecting unemployment. The issue was - unemployment wasn’t enough to cover his portion of the bills. Because he was spending like crazy, he bought a new phone, new watch, new Xbox, new tv and gaming set up, new gaming desk. Meanwhile my GPA is falling and I’m struggling and crying myself to sleep to pay the bills. Now he’s coming back (his girlfriend dumped him) and he said he would help me get things back into shape. Not only does my brother not help with the bills he doesn’t clean. I constantly am having to live around his mess. He’s disgusting and I’m just so tired of it. Because I get treated like a maid and am expected to clean up after him even though he’s STILL not working. He plays videogames all day. We haven’t had heat all winter because I couldn’t keep up. And it’s just getting worse. My dad despite having promised to help is just adding to the issue. I pay for everything. Groceries putting gas in his truck buying him cigarettes. And he STILL has not said anything to my brother about pulling his weight while he’s out of work. I’m fed up. And today he got in my face because I asked him to do their own dishes. I told him I had one bowl that I had used and that I would wash it after, but that I wanted my sink empty. He got in my face and told me to “woman” up and do it and that if I didn’t like it I could pack up and get out of HIS house. My name was never on the lease. But my landlord knows. What options do I have? Is it even worth it to try and get them out?I think this might make me the asshole because he’s my dad, he’s getting older, and I genuinely would feel bad. But I don’t think I can stand this anymore.Edit to explain why I’m here: I don’t have a car, and this house is currently the closest to my current job that I am going to get. Leaving here would mean I can’t get to work. | WIBTA if I told my dad to leave my house. | NTA |
10zpnq7 | I(24f) got married eight months ago and my husband's relatives whom he is very close to couldn't make it to the wedding. His both parents died when he was in his teens and he has no siblings . The only family he's got are his uncles and their families . They were his guardians . I absolutely understand their importance in his life despite the fact that they are not even his actual family but only relatives .I also know I can never have any kind of bond with them because they clearly don't like me for some unknown reasons and I do not plan on working this out with them. He asked me if we could go and spend a week with them as family vacations and I agreed because I did not want to make him upset. I know he missed them. I flew two hours so he could meet them and they were nice to me only when he was around. I decided to not complain since it was only a matter of a few days and suck it up but he out of nowhere made a plan to visit his hometown with one of his cousins that was at six hours drive from where we all were staying . When he told me , I refused to let him go and told him how insensitive is it of him for waning to leave me behind with his family and go on a day trip with his cousin . We ended up having an argument before I told him that he could go. He offered me to join him and I declined.I know it was an immature move but I pretended it was fine by me , secretly booked my ticket and after he went , I flew back to our house and did not contact him until he came back the next day. I still haven't apologised for coming back uninformed and ruining his family vacations even though he has apologised several times for taking me there and going on a trip. (Throwaway account.)AITA?? | AITA for telling my husband he can't leave me alone with his relatives that seem to dislike me a lot? | YTA |
10zrizi | Throwaway account bc my family has Reddit. I (F28) am getting married to my fiance, Colin (M28) in less than a month. It's a destination wedding, and we've kept the invite list small, to just family and very close friends. I am worried that I am hurting my mother's feelings and I don't want to do that. A little backstory involving the wedding planning first.I found out a few months ago that my mother, Sarah, (F56) had invited the Martin family (a father, mother, daughter Mackenzie who is my age, and daughter's boyfriend) without asking me first. I have known the family my whole life, and was close to the daughter when we were ten or so, but we are strictly acquaintances now. No bad blood, we just didn't end up growing close. I do not want the Martins there, because I feel like the two moms (mine and the Martin mom) constantly compare me to Mackenzie. Just two examples: Mackenzie's weight and mine get compared (we are the same height) and sometimes one of us is "better" than the other. A second example: our jobs and how much money we make is often a discussion, according to my mom. This is about everything--who is learning a second language faster, who reads more books, who dresses "cuter," whose boyfriend is more "perfect."To be clear: I don't know if these discussions are even happening, since I'm not around when my mom and the Martin mom get together. I do not know if they are meant to be hurtful. I have not asked Mackenzie if she knows about these conversations since we aren't very close. So: I told my mom that unfortunately, Colin and I just want our friends and close family at our wedding. She got sad and said, "Colin shouldn't invite his friends then, if the Martins aren't coming!" We did not invite the Martins. Now, our wedding is taking place near a city that has a popular theme park. Colin and I, as well as a handful of our friends, are going to the theme park in the two days following. I am not wanting my mom to be around Colin's friends because I am worried that my mom will want to be stuck like glue to me (my father--her husband--and my two brothers will also be there so she won't be alone). I told my mom that Colin and I were thinking of "being selfish" and just doing our own thing at the theme park.My mom told me that's fine, it's my prerogative, but she doesn't "think we need to be selfish and do our own thing." I can tell she's upset with me for bringing it up, since she never says "you can do what you want" unless I've done something wrong. So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to be selfish? | AITA for telling my mom I want to be selfish? | NTA |
10zt1e3 | A short background: If you are doing job training in Germany, we have different laws than if you are normally working. So is the payment. While a normal job has a minimum of 12€/hr and for a training job it's roughly 3.5€/hr minimum (can't give exact numbers, because the regulations are somewhat garbage, as they only give a monthly minimum),So recently I talked with my parents about my driver's license, which I need, because I live in a pretty rural village and as the price for the driver's license is constantly rising, I asked them, how they would pay it with my salary. After taxes, insurances and some money investments, my monthly budget comes out to about 380€. After asking them, they told me, not to bother, because they also weren't earning that much in their job training and I still earn better than others in training. While that might be true, they forget, that I pay most of my stuff by myself and I still want to have some money at the end of the month, which I can spend on stuff that I really want or to put it aside. After some discussion, they told me, that I am ungrateful that I can even earn money, and they never had that much money than me and I shouldn't annoy them. AITA? | AITA for telling my parents how I should pay my driver's license | NTA |
10zmfyl | For background, A few days ago I lost my much loved hamster to cancer. I am not entirely over his death just yet.Today my best friend asked me for advice on best cage sizes and configurations, toys and brands for pet rodents. They have been planning on getting rodents themselves for a long time and finally decided on rats, I believe it’s a coincidence that those events overlapped with the death of my own hamster. It started of as a nice conversation, at least until I asked them to not get their rats in the same specific fur pattern as my late hamster was. Of course I am not entitled to tell them what kind of pet they are allowed to get or forbid them anything regarding their personal life, I made sure to clarify this. They still got mad and I am genuinely concerned that my request has been insensitive. Am I the asshole in this situation?EDIT: I decided to apologise to my friend and they replied with a photo of their four future pet rats, one of them looking the same as my hamster. They had already thought about adopting them before my hamster died. We discussed both our issues and things are good now.A big thank you to everyone who helped me see and understand my mistake(s)!! | AITA for asking my friend to not get a specific fur color of pet? | YTA |
10zt23w | I'm a single dad to my 17 year old daughter. I'm fortunate enough that my older brother lives nearby. We both work from home, so, its cool that sometimes mid-day he can just come over.I will admit, becoming a dad at 16 wasnt the smartest thing ever, and because of it I've not made the best decisions with her. This has boiled down to affecting her health. Right now she's in the 230s and is only about average height. Did I give in to much with her and junk food and sweets? Yes.A couple of days ago, my brother was over and the 3 of us were just hanging out, she'd just gotten home from school. She gets up and says she's going to start homework. She goes upstairs, closes her door.My brother comments that he notices how laboring it was for her to get up and climb stairs. I already knew where this was going and asked him to move onto a new topic. He insists we talk about this and suggests we talk outside. We go outside and he tells me all about how alarmed he is, how she always looks bigger every time he visits. I said he was being overdramatic. He said I was failing to see how out of shape and overweight she is. I insisted I'm well aware, he said if I were aware, I'd do something. My point was, she's 16, I really can't make her do anything. Where I drew the line was when he said that I didn't care that she was "downright fat". I called him a dick, asked him to not refer to her like that. He told me to face facts, and left.AITA? | AITA for arguing with my brother | YTA |
10zrhkq | so my elder cousin's wedding happened on friday but i did not attend it. the sole reason was my mother. i was really looking forward to attend the wedding and was happy too. but my mother started telling me to cut my hair and buy some clothes and shoes. she said this because she started worrying about my looks and how i will dress up in the wedding.she also started telling my father to buy a new phone for me as i am using an old samsung phone. due to these things, i got pretty upset and uncomfortable as my mother thought my appearance and dress up mattered the most for her. she also started talking about respect and how your clothes and looks will represent you. and due to that i did not attend my cousin's wedding.so AITA here?Edit: as all of you are asking if i had agreed to go or the wedding had been paid. the wedding took place in a temple which is normal for us asian (nepalis) and the party was organized in the house. my cousin called before the wedding and i told him i am not coming. | AITA for not attending my cousin's wedding? | NTA |
10zso8q | Just had a blowout with my mother. I have two brothers who were always my best friends. My youngest brother (groom) was the one I was closest with. He was getting married to someone I really like so there is no problem with the marriage itself.Wedding was going to be small with only immediate family invited.Bride's family:Mother and FatherSister and long time boyfriendGrandfather and GrandmotherGroom's Family:Mother and long time boyfriendFather and long time girlfriendBrother and wife and three kids (2 nephews and a niece)Sister (me)The wedding party was limited to only the best man(groom’s brother), the maid of honor(bride’s sister), two ring bearers(groom’s nephews), and a flower girl(groom’s sister).. I would be lying if I didn't disclose that this made me feel bad. I was the only sibling not involved and there was room for 2 ring bearers to ensure that the kids weren't left out... I tried to just blow this off, but I did feel bad.I am happily single and am normally fine with going places alone, but this made me uncomfortable. I asked Groom if I could bring a long time friend of mine that the family knows really well. I explained to Groom that I felt a little weird that I was the only one not coming with someone. I wanted to ask him first before even proposing it to her(the friend) and thought she would be the best option because she is so familiar with the family. He said no because it was only for "long time relationships". It would be "unfair to everyone else that wasn't invited." I felt immediately that this was a slap in the face to me and really didn't want to come to the wedding. I swallowed my feelings and went anyway but at no point of the day did I want to be there.My mother has often treated me as if my feelings are not valid. This happens often with this particular brother. I was talking with my mother about a separate situation with etiquette. She was blowing me off again as if I had no idea what I was talking about. I have worked large scale events for most of my adult life and am very familiar with protocol.I was expressing to her how it frustrates me when she discredits my feelings as invalid. The situation with my brother came up as an example. She asked me to talk about why I feel as if bride’s family are rude to me.As I am going over my feelings about the situation with my mother, this came up and she literally started screaming at me and walking away. The words "fuck you" even came out. I did also yell back at her “once again, it’s always about your son and I’m just crazy” and “I’m not crazy, it’s rude”. I should not have screamed but I have been in therapy for a while trying to work through my own feelings. I'm more concerned with the gaslighting of it all.I apologize if I don't respond right away, but I promise I will get to it. I'm in school full time and work three jobs so life is a bit crazy right now. I'm graduating this year and am very hopeful for a bit more calm in my future.Thank you for your input. | AITA: Brother's small wedding, only guest without partner, requested to bring someone but was denied, mother blew up at me for being insulted by it. | YTA |
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