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10zsltb | My ex has been ignoring his parents ever since he broke off our engagement. They’ve come by multiple times and he always ignores them and tells me not to open the door. A few days ago, he was out when they came over. I opened the door because they usually don’t leave for a very long time and I didn’t want to listen to them knocking for an hour.When my ex got back he was visibly annoyed so I excused myself so they could have some privacy. I could hear them yelling from my room and once they left my ex barged into my room to pick a fight with me.For the last few days he’s intentionally being a jerk even though we agreed to make things as easy as possible until I moved out. He’s gone back on all of our agreements and is doing things like walking around the house pretty much naked even though he knows I don’t like it and walking into my room without knocking whenever he wants to ask me something. Whenever I try to discuss it with him, he claims I started this because I let his parents in.AITA? | AITA for letting my ex’s parents in when I knew he was ignoring them on purpose? | YTA |
10zni7j | This morning, my mom was upset with how dirty our bedrooms are and we didn't do our chores last night. She was yelling at my sisters and I to clean up and eventually turned on my dad. My dad does most of the cooking and when he uses pots and pans, he'll usually put water in them or clean them and put them back on the stove. My mom cooked last night and left the pots there. So, she told me to wash them and my dad brought up that my mom was the one to cook. They got into a bit of an argument over who should wash the pots and pans used when someone cooks.It was about 12-1PM and I had yet to eat anything. So, my dad asked me if I wanted to go out with him and that we could go anywhere I wanted to eat. Not long after, I decided to have a little snack since I hadn't eaten and the drive to where we were going is half an hour away. My dad sees me eating and says "Oh, you're already eating? That's fine." As I was telling him that it was just something small, he was already reaching to grab a muffin (I don't think he had eaten anything either). So, I say the same thing back to him. Mind you, neither of us were angry or anything. It was just casual.He got mad and said that we aren't going anymore and that he's tired of everyone talking bad to him all the time. It's been an hour and he still won't change his mind. I don't really know what I did wrong? The whole conversation was less than a minute, too, and it seemed to ruin his whole day.AITA?Edit: My dad and I are both very sarcastic people. We joke around like that a lot, just being smart to each other or even with friends. My mom calls me a smart aleck and says I get it from my dad. | AITA for repeating my dad's words back to him? | NTA |
10zpflm | I've (42f) had COVID for 8 days, and I've barely left our bedroom. My husband "Will" (37m) has been sleeping on the couch the whole time. He's been really awesome through the whole thing, bringing me food and cookies and Gatorade. I've had a rough go of it (despite being double boosted), so it's been really helpful. To be clear, we've been together for 5 years and married for 2, we very rarely argue, and are generally very happy and treat each other with kindness and respect.Will likes to drink on Friday nights. So last night he had some beers, I'm assuming quite a few. I had been trying to fall asleep for 2 hours, but couldn't because I felt like crap. At 5:30am, Will came into the room and said he needed to sleep in his bed. I get that, because he's been on the couch for a week. But. 1. I hadn't washed the sheets or pillows and everything was probably covered in COVID.2. Because he hadn't been in bed, and I literally hadn't left it, a bunch of my stuff was on his side. So he comes in, very drunkenly saying he needs to sleep in his bed. I say "No, there's COVID everywhere!" and he proceeds to pull all of my stuff onto the ground, basically throwing it. This includes my pulse oximeter, my new glossybox, cough drops, cookies, water bottle, a present for my boss, etc. He then gets into bed, putting his head on a pillow I've been using all week. I got uncharacteristically upset, and started yelling, and I threw my sweater, and picked up something he had thrown to see if it was broken, and then threw it onto a pile of laundry. This is the most physical we've ever been, because generally, we don't act like this.He sullenly went back downstairs. I checked on him to make sure he was okay, then went back to bed.This morning, he called me from downstairs to apologize, but he said he just "needed to be in bed" and because my stuff was on his side, it was okay to pull it all onto the ground. I told him that it's unacceptable behavior and not like us at all. I then told him when he realizes that it was not okay, we can talk about it, said goodbye, and hung up.AITA? Did I overreact? | AITA for kicking my husband out of bed after he threw my things on the ground. | NTA |
10zsyq1 | I (23F) work as a housekeeper in a small hotel my dad runs. My husband (23m) and two boys (1.5y&2 mo Boys)also live there until we can get on our feet.There is a couple in one of the rooms who is a long stay. Meaning they basically live here too. I met them my first few days working here. I usually see them on my days off in the common areas.The man in the relationship (zach) and his wife (lilly) have a cute little baby (3mo). I usually run into them when im smoking a cigarette or when im off the clock. I run into him the most because his wife works a lot. I am never alone when I see him.He was talking to me and another worker the other day with his child in the lobby. He was wearing a very nice suit so I said he looked nice. After the compliment he explained that he had just lost his grandma and was having a hard time. My husband came up with our two boys and witnessed our whole conversation. After we all talked, we went our separate ways. Later while I was smoking outside, I heard them arguing from there room because the window was open. The wife was screaming that he was a lying cheater who is going to get "that slut of a housekeeper" fired. He was screaming that nothing was going on between us that we just talk sometimes if we see each other. I went back inside and didnt hear anymore. A couple hours later I was outside with a staff member smoking when he came out. I told him I heard there fight and I apologized if I gave them any feeling or hint that we were having an affair. He said she's just like that and has accused him of sleeping with his cousin because they use to talk almost daily. He told me not to worry about her and that they "aren't even together anymore" and he started talking about her personal issues. He said she was off her medication, narcissistic and abusive. I apologized for what he was going through and went back inside. I feel bad for him so I'm trying to be nice on and off the clock. Am I overstepping boundaries I don't see. Whenever I see her, she avoids me. When she does speak to me, she's bitter. I apologized to her and she said that im a homewrecker and that she will get me fired. I explained that I am happily married, never alone when im around him and our interactions are always on camera. She then screamed that she knows because the birds tell her and the walls are watching me and stormed off. I just stood there confused. AITA for this? I'm confused. | AITA for being nice to a customer? | NTA |
10zqvso | I met a girl let’s call her Abby online about two years ago. We both went into similar things which made it pretty easy for us to connect. We talk to each other every day and put always play video games together. Along the way, we decided to make a server for not only my friends, but also hers and that way we could all collab since some of us had YouTube channels. One of our friends let’s call him. James developed an interest in Abby and soon they decided to start talking. I assumed things were going pretty well because not only had they met face-to-face, but they had also planned on moving in together. Unlike everybody else I decided to keep my opinions to myself and to support my friend. About a month later I got a call from James he said that he had been trying to message Abby all day, but it had seemed like she had blocked him. I tried to assure him that she wouldn’t do that unless she had a solid reason on why to do it. I then proceeded to ask him if he had done anything inappropriate or anything that can make her uncomfortable. He said he couldn’t recall anything that he may have done. I then to try and calm him down decided to text her as well. And to my surprise I didn’t get a response. I just assumed she was sleeping or busy doing other stuff after all not everybody can message you immediately after you message them. I keep James on the phone with me to calm him down since he had been drinking using the excuse that he was upset. At this point he was a bit drunk and decided to invite a couple of our friends into the conversation. I kept my mouth shut most of the conversation since I didn’t want to say something inappropriate or something that could put either James or Abby, in a wrong situation. None of us had any response from Abby for the rest of the day, and since James is already getting support from his friends, I decided to log off and just play some games on my own. A couple of days later my phone is blowing up with notifications from my friends in the server, saying that they had been kicked off with no explanation whatsoever. It didn’t surprise me that they had come to ask me since I was also a moderator in the server. To my surprise, I had also been kicked off the server. I tried to message Abby about it, but got no response. Only for a couple of hours later. Got a message from one of her friends, saying that I had been kicked off for talking shit about her, which I could never recall doing. To this day. I am still very confused on the situation, but I’ve decided to let it go. AITA? | AITA for helping my friends now ex-boyfriend | NTA |
10zqtm7 | I, (17 M) took a flight to a state. We arrived at about 12AM and my dad got a rental car for my siblings, my mom and IHe then woke me up at 6:30 to get on the road to College A. I fell asleep and he woke me about 15 minutes before we got there, and asked where we were supposed to park. I checked the confirmation email I got, and it said to park behind some building. But once we got there I was confused, since the gate wasn’t automatically opening and there were signs saying to download an app in order to park. Remembering that I saw those same signs in front of the Visitor Center, I suggested parking over there.My dad started saying “This is stupid. Why didn’t you do research before we got here so we know where to park?” I kept quiet and read the email again. I was confused because the email didn’t mention anything about an app we had to download and he started lecturing me again.We pulled up to the Visitor Center and walked in and they informed us that the center didn’t open until 10:00, and that there wasn’t a tour available yet (we had tour reservations for 10:30 already) So we got back in the car, and he started saying that “this was stupid” and that I was “wasting his time”. Then I suggested we just do a self-guided tour instead so we didn’t have to wait, and he begrudgingly agreed. We’d been walking 20 seconds when he asked me if the tour we were doing later was including a dorm tour. I answered no b/c I signed us up for a basic campus tour. Once I said that he just turned back around and got back in the car.He went on and on about how I’m stupid and how I wasted his time and money because he spent $400 on tickets for the rest of my family to get us to NC and that he wasted 2 hours for us to not even get a dorm tour. He’d been laying into me and then after a minute of silence, I opened the door and left. I needed some space away from him.I walked a bit down the street and stood there. 40 minutes go by. He didn’t call me or come looking for me or anything. I went back inside the Visitor Center, close to crying. The lady at the front desk let me in, and once she asked me if my dad was coming, I started sobbing.she comforted me and reassured me that I’m not stupid. She got me water and told me I could still get a housing tour if I walked to the Jackson Hall. Then my mom called me and lectured me for leaving the car and told me to apologize.So I went back to the car, and told him the information that I’d gotten and we both walked to the other hall and went through with the tour.As we walked back to the car after the tour, I said “I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way I’d planned at first. Next time, if we ever do another tour like this, I’ll be sure to do more research.” He just said my apology was not sincere. Then he told me that if I were to ever leave the car like I did again that I was to never call him my father and that he wouldn’t even want to see my face again. then we drove back to the hotel.So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for leaving the car during an argument? | NTA |
10zoe8m | This happened not too long ago my brother(18), my mom(60), and I(23) were sitting at our dining table about to pray, but before we pray we always have a little chat of things that we did. At one point of the conversation I mentioned that my brother bought some pokemon cards and a card binder from online. That was a mistake. She became angry with my brother telling him that he shouldn't buy useless things like that and that he should buy new clothes instead, which seems a bit much to me because his closet is filled with clothes. I, being the older and talk back brother, say that it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it so long as it's nothing illegal.Our mother then gets angry with me for defending him and for not stopping him or telling her what he was going to buy. I stay silent so that we can pray and go to bed, but then I had the grand idea that should tell her that bought somethings as well. I told her that I bought 1 Yugioh card, a card binder, and a card holder. She gets angrier and commends us to never buy those useless things ever again. I, being the stubborn guy that I am, start staring at the recent things that she bought, a new set of kitchen knives, a bread box, and a TV stand. We already have a lot of kitchen knives that we have them in different drawers, the old TV stand is still great and looks lovely, and I don't even know why she got the bread box when we can just keep them inside their bags. She catches on to what I'm doing and says that I have no right to judge her on things that she bought because she has worked hard for them, she has always taken care of us, and that we've always had something to eat. I agree with her that she has worked hard, that she has always taken care of us, and that we have always had food on the table. She has every right to buy what ever she wants with her money, and I don't really care what she buys, that is until she starts to badmouth the things that we buy with our own money that we have saved. I then go silent because I grow tired of arguing, but she continues on. By the time she finishes I have tiers from frustration, from anger that such a small comment can set her off. We calm down a bit and we start to pray, and when we finish we each say night.So am I the AITA? | AITA Argument with my mom | NTA |
10zrl21 | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. It happened 3 years ago but it was recently brought up by some friends, so I'm wondering if I really was the AH as they said. I (19F, 16 at the time) was in my second year of High School (it's 3y here). I wasn't in a good place mentally, I did treatment for anxiety and depression but some time later I'd discover I was being wrongly medicated so it wasn't really effective. School, more specifically classes, made me feel really overwhelmed and anxious. It wasn't a secret, since I'd spend whole classes crying or go out suddenly. Then, I just decided to not go in anymore. I went to school since I needed to, but I'd stay outside in the common areas playing games or reading until I could leave. Despite that, I still got some of the best grades in most subjects. Now, I didn't study at home, unless you call a 5 minute skimming through pages before the tests studying. I was simply good at academics. I had noticed some people looking at me strange and overheard some saying stuff like "That bastard doesn't even come and still gets such grades", but I didn't care. But there was a day where I was attending class because of a test, and one of my teachers commented on my absences and ended saying "Don't you think it's disrespectful to the other students who can't do the same?" and there were some agreeing noises. I simply said "I'm not to blame for other's incapabilities." and went to do something else.Recently, some friends said most classmates thought I was an asshole for skipping classes, getting good grades and acting like it was the most natural thing in the world, and this day just cemented my status as an AH for everyone since I sounded arrogant and like I was better than everyone else. It made me rethink and while I understand my past self actions at the time, I'm not sure if I was an AH. AITA? | AITA for calling my classmates incapable? | NTA |
10zriox | I (18F) a university student, have two friends from my home town Beth (18F) and Sarah (16F) that I haven't seen since we went on a trip in the beginning of December 2022. In the 2 months since I've seen them I have consistently been trying to facetime them to catch up on day to day stuff and also bigger things that have happened. But they always have an excuse not to or just straight up ignore me. Beth and I fell out at the end of our trip and have made up over text but don't talk consistently anymore. She messaged our small group to ask to meet up but didn't have anything in mind as to what to do, or even when. I suggested a free art gallery visit and she said it was a good idea and the conversation ended. I have since asked for updates on transport and times but only had radio silence. Sarah is still a high-school student and was busy with studying for prelims but has a weeks break in February, and the date for the gallery visit is the end of her break. And since deciding the date it's been radio silence again. I've reached out to both of them multiple times to ask what time we should meet up and had no response. We have a week to get the details ironed out but I've been asking for details for two weeks now. Neither Beth or Sarah seem enthusiastic about meeting up at all. WIBTA? | WIBTA for cancelling a catchup with friends I haven't seen in 2 months | NTA |
10ztkxr | Short post.Kids recently got hoverboards, don’t worry we checked the ages and they’re appropriate + only used were safe, like our garden and with helmets.Kids are great on them, no accidents and they love them.Wife decided to try one out, insisted on our daughter (12) holding her hand - daughter did then snatched her hand away and my wife fell over.Wife laughed it off and so did I , she called it giggling though but I don’t really think it was, must’ve been worse than we thought though because we were in ER because of her wrist (it’s sprained and she’s got some back pain)She called me out for laughing earlier, I said I wouldn’t have had I known she was hurt or if she didn’t laugh.She wants an apology, I think she’s overreacting because I wouldn’t have laughed if I knew she was hurt - she didn’t even know she was that hurt.AITA? Might be missing info but I’m in a rush | AITA for “giggling” after my wife fell over? | YTA |
10zqzr4 | I'll preface this with why I feel I might be TA. Dad has a history of abuse and neglect with his parents, and they tried everything in their book to keep him literally "enslaved." For the most part he had broken away from his family's toxicity, but when it came to me he was extra insecure and extremely overprotective which might give a very small bit of validation to his concern because of which my coercion may have been unfair.Hi Reddit, 20 year old guy in university here. This story is from a few years back, but is relevant to what's going on right now. When I was first looking into universities about 2 1/2 years back, there was a lot of clash between me and my parents over choices relating to where I can go to study. Before that there were clashes about how much I had to study for grades/SAT, and balancing with extracurriculars, etc. I was a near-straight As student with the occasional B and I loved playing football, and was team captain briefly.My parents had different approaches to working out differences with me. Dad used to scream and yell in attempts to force me to do something while mom would use more of a "negotiation" system and would discuss properly what we should do and not do. But when it came to choosing where to go, I did have some relatively bad choices early on, again dad was completely dismissive, while mom talked me down by explaining why the stuff I was looking at was bad, but I got a rather good selection in the end.So I landed a nicely funded program in the uni I'm currently at. Dad didn't like the uni for bullshit reasons, despite it being Ivy-level (West Coast though) so he attempted to force me into not attending, and refused to fill FAFSA, even going far as to threaten me with police stuff to prevent me from going (I was a minor). I gave him silent treatment for 2 months after that, and threatened mom with the same if she forced me to speak to him. Eventually he did relent, and actually gave up his toxic attitude. It's been smooth sailing for the 3 of us since. Coming to why this is relevant. One of my dad's only friendly people on his side of family died. He didn't want to, but agreed to attend the funeral. We also went, and for the most part, kept distance from his parents and sister. Eventually when we did catch up with them, well things were bullshit to say the least, they started passive aggression towards him, and towards me. Mom eventually pulled us both out of that situation, dismissing dad's sister aggressively (yay mom!). According to them, the "spoiled child raised another spoiled child." What the hell? Was my reaction. Dad eventually opened up to me later that he realized he was acting like his own dad towards me when it came to the university thing, and was very sorry for that. I realized I was inconsiderate of what he went through when I coerced him by silent treatment.So hence, AITA for giving dad silent treatment so that he'd back off from my university choice? | AITA for giving my dad silent treatment so that he couldn't coerce me into not attending the university of my choice? | NTA |
10zqnib | My niece (29F) is getting married this summer. Her fiance (age unknown, M) is from Massachusetts so the decided to get married in Cape Cod on a weekend this summer. I (62M) respect that. However, my wife is a retail pharmacist (58F) working for an independent pharmacy with all that entails (good pay but hours that are, shall we say, often inconvenient). The only way we can attend destination weddings is if it is possible to get fly out on Friday (wife gets ever other Friday+weekend off) and get back reasonably early on Sunday so she isn't dangerously tired at work the next moring. We live in a small college town that is 1.5 hours from any airports that have a regular schedule, but even then there are no direct flights to Boston or Providence.All the travel guides say to plan on 4 hour drives to get to Cape Cod from either airport on a summer Friday evening and 4 hours to get off Cape Cod on summer Sunday. We'd have to leave home at 5 AM Friday to get to Cape Cod by 11 PM Friday and leave Cape Cod about the same time to get home at a reasonable (safe for pharmacy work the next day) hour. We're also worried about travel delays because if she isn't back by Monday it causes serious problems for a small, independent pharmacy. When we go on vacation (scheduled 6 months in advance so that the pharamcy can arrange cover) we usually come back a day early for a buffer in case of flight cancelations.My sister (66F) texted me earlier this week asking me if we would be there because she needed a head count for a Friday party she was holding. I told her that the location made it too much for even a three day weekend trip and that we would not be attending. We've had situations like this in the past and I've told her several times that we if we cannot reasonably do it in a weekend, we cannot do it. Well, I got a text back from her that started "Well, it was really hard to read that my daughter (YOUR NIECE!) isn't worth more than a weekend...". I haven't opened the full message (and probably won't) so I don't know the rest of the message says.So, AITA (or would it be "Are we the assholes?") for not going? Every wedding guide I found in a web search said that if you have a destination wedding you should gracefully accept that some people will not be able (or will simply choose not) to attend. | AITA for not attending niece's wedding | NTA |
10zs46h | My husband has had a very difficult pandemic period. It made him very depressed and triggered alcohol addiction issues to make it simple. Now he is making a lot of effort and progress on that front, but we're still not back to where we were before it all happened.He hasn't seen my family in at least a year or two. He hates their dog and my family annoys him for some reason. My parents have not been the best parents to me growing up and we had a family feud a few years ago too, but I still go there from time to time, maybe once every few months. Today is my father's birthday and I asked hubby to join me for the occasion earlier this week. He said yes, but been moody since. I said nothing, but I kinda knew that he didn't want to. We basically eloped, so no big wedding or anything. We've been together for 6 years and he has NEVER met some of my best friends. Last year when I was a bridesmaid to one of them, he was supposed to come with me, but again, on the day, he decided he didn't want to go and didn't. It annoyed me a lot. I was mad, but he was dealing with a lot on his end so I downplayed it. Some of my other friends and I go brunching every two months, I used to invite him along but after he canceled on the day so many times, I stopped. So when he told me earlier he didn't want to go tonight for my dad... I got annoyed and said so. I said I didn't want to justify AGAIN why he's not there. Now he says that I shouldn't guilt him into going. That he shouldn't have to do something he simply doesn't want to. I get that depression plays a part in all that, but still. I do things all the time "for him" even when I'd rather do something else. So AITA to still request him to come and get over himself. To just want him to silently agree to do something FOR ME even if annoys him. | AITA for being sad my husband never comes with me to my parents' or friends | NTA |
10zjj4h | im sorry for phone formatting but i really need go vent. anyways my best friend (16,M) and i (16,F) have known each other most our lives since we are family friends.recently he bought a spotify premium family acc and added me as a member, which i was incredibly grateful for. Yesterday, suddenly, i was removed by the “family organiser” which is him. so i texted him if i had done something wrong, and when he didnt reply i ended up buying a spotify premium on my own and i told him that i no longer needed his plan. this is already so petty and immature but its been eating me up.anyways, usually i dont confront my problems or people that often because i deal with bad anxiety and it gets especially worse in situations when i feel ive angered a loved one. anyways, so my best friend came at me and started bombarding me that i should stop always blaming him for everything and that had i asked him earlier he wouldve helped me log back in. I’ve reassured him continuously that i’m not blaming him, and that i just noticed something odd and asked him about it. he has since been scrutinising me and has told one of our other best friends that i came at him out of nowhere and it seems like im trying to make him feel bad about it, this best friend has also called me and told me im being a sh!tty friend. But i’m really not trying to make him feel that way.He’s not picking up any of my calls or replying to my texts. am i in the wrong? i really dont know if i should apologise first or wait for him to give me the chance to. i dont see what ive done wrong. i cant physically stop talking to him since well be going to the same boarding school later this year, hes also a really big part of my life. i dont know what to do.thank you already! | AITA for asking my best friend if i’d done something wrong | NTA |
10zr9tm | Waiting to go out for the day with the baby in the car, I’m standing outside beside the car because I have to move my car first to let him out then park back in the garden. 2 minutes pass and I ask in at him is he ready, yes I’m coming now. 3 more minutes pass and he arrives. I ask what he was doing when we literally were all ready to go and he went back in and suddenly I’m the asshole. He says it’s a psychotic and controlling question to ask someone, and demands an apology.So AITA for asking what he was doing..? | AITA for asking him what he was doing? | ESH |
10ztp6p | Throw away bc my wife is on redditI (33m) am currently on a trip with my wife (32f) visiting my in laws and staying in their home. I am a huge vaper and have used it to quit cigarettes. For me the great thing about vaping is I can do it inside every once in a while. I've gotten really good at finding the right moment to vape indoors and not be seen (all about human psychology which I'm fascinated by). I was able to vape all through the flight with no repurcussions.So the first few days of our trip I've been successfully vaping inside my in-laws house without MIL or FIL knowing (not a ton, just intermittently through out the day). Then my BIL and his wife arrived (both 29). I thought they would be cool about the situation so didn't bother to hide my vaping from them. The first day they didn't say anything though thinking back they did share a look when I was vaping in the sun room. The next day during dinner I snuck a hit while FIL was getting some rolls and MIL had her back turned uncorking wine.My SIL leaned over and quietly asked if I could not vape indoors and that she doesn't want to be exposed to second hand smoke. I felt this was really ingnorant and could not let her comment stand. I informed her that there is no smoke it's in fact vapor and she wasn't going to be affected by it (I've done my research). At this point in the conversation my MIL and FIL figured out what we were talking about and it turned into a whole situation. I'm now officially banned from vaping in the house.I was kind of pissed about my SIL ratting me out then the last night of the trip she announced her pregnancy. Now I'm wondering if it was just the hormones making her sensitive and I should have been more understanding.AITA for vaping indoors? | AITA for vaping indoors? | YTA |
10ztg2v | My fiancé’s (F29) sister (F32) is an accountant. Very introverted, slightly awkward, but overall a nice person. As such, she doesn’t really have any friends but does have a long time boyfriend (M30). Their relationship is interesting. They mostly seem like close friends but they’re together and seem happy. Every year, my fiancé does something with her sister for her birthday. They have tickets to a concert that she purchased in Oct. of 2022 and the concert takes place in Oct. of 2023. Coincidentally, one of my best friends happens to be getting married the same day as the concert. I work on the road a lot due to my apprenticeship forcing me to move from job to job until it’s completed. I’ll be settling down in June with her but due to the constant moving around, my fiancé hasn’t met many of my friends. We’re all kind of spread out. I’ve been making a solid effort to get my fiancé involved in my friend group as she’s graciously gotten me involved in hers (great people, love ‘em all) and this wedding is definitely part of that. I’ve been asked to be a groomsman. When I found out about the wedding and concert dates clashing, I asked my fiancé if she could maybe skip the concert this year to attend this very important thing with me and meet more of my friends. She declined saying that it was important to her sister and that she also wanted to attend this concert. I pointed out that the concert takes place every year but my friend is only getting married once. She stated that these plans were essentially set in stone and can’t be changed. I’ve attended many family functions with her and what miffs me is that her sister’s boyfriend doesn’t attend ANY of these functions. He seems to have one reason or another for not tagging along. In my mind, the boyfriend needs to step up here and attend this concert rather than my fiancé. I get the impression that the sister, due to her lack of friends, sort of tries to keep my fiancé all to herself as much as she can. This concerns me because I plan on starting a family and want to be sure that my fiancé is putting the needs of our family first. Anyway, I’m really disappointed about this and am embarrassed to tell people why she won’t be attending. AITA for wanting her to change her plans?Edit: I am seeing the error of my ways. Thank you for the guidance. I have not broached the issue with her since this conversation but have been silently stewing on it. Your responses made it evident that my thinking was inherently flawed. Thank you for pointing it out. I needed it. In short IATA. | AITA for wanting my fiancé to cancel plans with her sister to attend a wedding with me? | YTA |
10ztatz | Short story long, last night I was in a bar with friends & colleagues, and as some of them were leaving, we made an innocent comment about someone we barely knew, who minutes before were complaining about some work-related shit. My friend told me they were behind me, so I asked her “do you think they heard us?”. She asked if I was worried about it, and I said well, I am. Then she said that “the only thing I worry is about keeping up appearances”. I said that yes, on one hand I did worry about how shit makes me look, and also, on the other hand I was also worried that another person I barely knew heard me saying their name and that they might be hurt thinking I was saying something bad about them. I told her that her remark about my character made me feel unvalued and hurt, and then she got angry, and started calling me names, like “a f***ing manipulator”. When I heard that, that was it, I started walking away. She sort of faux-pologized (“I’m sorry you feel offended by me”), but went to suggest how dared I feel offended, when “she had loved me more than anyone else in my entire f***ing life”. This was kind of a red flag to me and the conversation was going nowhere, so we called it a night. AITA for calling her out on that comment about my character? | AITA for calling out my friend on a hurtful comment? | ESH |
10zt4c7 | This is kind of a long story so I’ll try to get as many of the details as I can. This all began in March of 2021 when I needed to have some repairs done to my car. I worked at a dealership but even w/ my employee discount it was going to be about $2000 worth of work. I spoke to a friend that i worked w/ and he said that if I bought the parts that he would fix it for free. (I never intended to let him do it for free, was still going to give him something for his time.) During this time I also had someone interested in buying the car after the work was complete. About a month goes by and i start hearing from my friend that it’s taking longer than expected and may need to get more parts. This was no big deal at the time bc i had another vehicle to drive and could afford to leave the other vehicle in the shop. Fast forward 2 years (between 2021-to present) i continued hearing that there were issues w/ parts, needs more time etc. neither of us worked at the dealership anymore so I don’t really see him as regularly as I did. And then I’m lucky to hear from him about once a month even though I’ve texted daily for updates. I texted a group chat w/ other friends to try to get a response from him. He texted me back almost immediately and says “wow, really.” I respond w/ a snarky comment about trying to get his attention. All the time this is going on he is giving me timelines the vehicle should be finished. Started out hearing it would be ready by the end of April in 2021 and it keeps getting pushed back. This week I texted him and said that my wife and i would be reporting the vehicle as stolen as his communication has gotten worse and worse. All I hear are empty promises and broken deadlines. My wife had texted him moments before me saying that we would need an answer within the next two weeks. She calls me and says she wants to report it Friday (yesterday). At this point is when I text him to give him a heads up of what our plans were. He then copy and pasted my wife’s message that said we needed two weeks and sends that to me. He says it will be ready and at our house on the 19th this month, and if it’s not to proceed w/ reporting it stolen. Am i the asshole? | AITA? I had a friend “working” on repairs for my vehicle for the last two years | NTA |
10zswme | I'm an 18 year old F and my grandma, 60, is getting married soon. I have no idea who she's getting married to as I've never met the guy before. Both my mom and my aunt weren't invited for some reason, but me and my younger sister were. My grandma asked me if I could be a "junior bridesmaid" at her wedding and I had replied, "not really, no." She was like ok and walked away. My great grandmother, who was in the room at the time, had asked me why I didn't agree with it. I just said that I didn't want to and how I didn't even know the guy she was going to marry. She proceeded to say "shame on you" to me and continue on doing whatever she was doing. It's making me think I was wrong to refuse to this. She is my grandma, but it hasn't felt that way recently. Am I wrong for refusing?? | AITA for refusing to be a bridesmaid at my grandma's wedding? | NTA |
10zq3a9 | For Christmas I got my boyfriend Nike socks, adidas pants, 2 candles that he likes, & a ps5 game. I gave it to him on 12.20 since I’ll be away on Christmas. When I asked about mine he said he didn’t order it yet. Im like okay cool no worries. A week goes by. I ask again. Still didn’t order. Says he doesn’t have money yet he always orders out every night & spends $$ on a new game. No worries again. Feeling a way but it’s fine.A month goes by. We go to the mall I do some shopping & he goes wherever to get my gift. We come home & he hands me the gift. No wrapping, no bag, nothing. It’s AirPods Pro’s. I look at him confused. I say - “I’m not trying to sound ungrateful but why did you get me AirPods?”Because your old ones suck. Now. They do suck but they still WORK. I was thinking of getting new AirPods but I barely use the one I have now & I was waiting on them to fully die. Another thing about this situation is I have weird ears. AirPods Pro’s do not fit in my ears. They fall out easily. I can only use the original ones & he knows this. On top of all of this, he got them engraved. I don’t think you can return them. He ends up taking them for himself leaving me without a Christmas gift still. Am I the asshole for not taking the AirPods ? | AITA for not accepting my bf Christmas gift? | NTA |
10zjjmo | I (20M) has several best friends. Kayla(20F), Jacob(20M) and Nina(20F). Both Kayla and Jacob has their own group of friends, while Nina is Jacob's girlfriend. At first, I would only hang with their group separately, but sometimes I would just invite both groups to hang together, with Nina even becoming fast friends with Kayla's group.Things got icky after Nina decided to break up with Jacob. It was her decision, so both me and Kayla's group respected her decision. Jacob however didn't deal with the break up too greatly. So while we would still hang out together, Jacob said he doesn't want to meet Nina if possible. In consideration of Jacob's feelings, whenever I wanted to make plans, I constantly needed to tip toe around everyone. If I hang out with Jacob's group, I won't invite Kayla's group too, and vice versa. This lead to Kayla's group questioning me why I no longer hang out with them as often, but I only did this because if I invited them while hanging out with Jacob's group, Nina would be the only one left alone. Kayla's group would still join me with Jacob's group from time to time however, and Nina noticed this.After some weeks of tip toeing like this, it was my birthday. I hang out with Kayla's group and Nina during the evening, and I planned to hang out with Jacob's group during the night. However the conundrum appeared as Kayla's group will also be joining in the night. I felt like an AH, keeping this a secret to Nina on my birthday of all days, so I came clean about it, and invited her. And I know Jacob wouldn't want to meet with Nina, so I told him that Nina would be there, and that he doesn't need to come if he doesn't want to. I thought this was the best course of action for everyone.Kayla caught wind off this and said that I was inconsiderate to both Nina's and Jacob's feeling for doing this. Saying that I should've just kept it a secret from Nina, and that we've already hung out with Nina anyways, so by doing this, I'm just excluding Jacob for no reason. I didn't know how to reply to this. Nina thanked me for telling her, and said that she was saddened to realize that Kayla thought it's okay to keep this a secret from her again.In the end, Nina said she won't be coming because she wanted to let me hang out with Jacob, so we all hung out with Jacob's group without Nina that night. But all of this left a really bad taste in my mouth. AITA? I felt like even if I didn't tell Nina, she would still figure out later and i would still be the AH. This whole situation feels so stupid to me. | AITA for not wanting my best friend to be left out during my birthday. | NTA |
10ztx4r | I have a 10 years old daughter with my ex husband. After our divorce his sister moved in with him to help him raise our daughter.My ex sil and I never got along. She can't have any kids and she was always jealous of me because she loves kids. Now she acts as if she is my daughter's mom. When my daughter was younger she was even calling her mom for a while but I corrected her and tought her to say aunt instead.Last night my daughter came out of her room in the middle of the night and asked for her ipad(we take it away at nights to make sure she doesn't play with it instead of sleeping) I asked why and she said she had a bad dream and wants to talk to her mom. I was devastated. I told her I'm her mom and I will help her go to sleep but she insisted to talk to her aunt so we allowed it. I didn't say anything to my daughter but this morning I called my ex sil and told her she needs to stop acting like my daughter's mom, she is not her mom, I AM. I said if she tries to do this again I'll take them to court and get more custody because I think they are alienating my childShe called me an asshole and a jealous b*tch for trying to ruin their relationship and basically implied that I can't do anything about it and she is not going to change things | AITA for trying to change things? | YTA |
10ztw6n | I (F20s) live with my dad and mom's house whilst I go to college. I pay rent but below market value.Basically my mom asked me to paint the back garden fence as it hasn't been painted in a while and she thinks it looks rundown and she "wanted to give me something to do".She didn't specify what colour she wanted the fence and she's never been particular about what the garden looks like, so I just assumed I could paint it any colour. I don't know if it matters but before I painted it it was brown btw.There was some black paint in my dad's shed so I painted the fence black.When I was half way through painting the fence, my mom realised I was painting it black and started getting annoyed. She said it looks miserable and that I have no common sense, and that "you just can't paint garden fences black, people don't do that".I didn't see why it was such a big deal plus I've already painted a good amount of it so I may as well paint all of it so it's even.She got my dad involved who said I should've checked what color would be okay first, as it's not my house and not my fence.My mom won't drop it and keeps going on and on about how I ruined the fence and that it looks terrible and how I can't be trusted with such a simple task. | AITA for painting the fence black? | NTA |
10zttop | So for some context on this, my ex step mom (35f), let’s call her D, and her mother (72f), let’s call her B, used to abuse me. I went through 10 years of child abuse from both of them. They were on drugs and always drunk at the time and are better now after going to rehabilitation centers as ordered by courts. But yesterday, I found out from my ex step-grandmother that my mother, let’s call her P, and my grandmother(my mothers mom), let’s call her S, that P had went to confront B about talking or even associating with me, which i don’t mind if D or B interact with me, they’re better now and they were very big parts of my life at one point and that means something. But P decided it was okay to throw out a bunch of threats towards B and was saying stuff along the lines of, “We’re going to have problems” “My child is going to get a restraining order on you” “I’ll hurt you if you talk to him” etc etc. My grandma, S, said nothing but nice things about me. But the whole court situation between me and D has just ended about a year ago so this is all still freshly dying down within my family. But anyways i confronted my grandma about this and she didn’t understand why i was mad when i’ve verbally set boundaries with both of them about going and talking to B about me in any way shape or form. I feel like that’s reasonable to ask of family about people that have abused you in the past yknow? But S kept trying to ask me if she wasn’t allowed to talk to another woman about their “problems” that they’ve had in their lives with one another, and i never said anything like that because quite frankly i don’t care if they talk to her just not about me. And i tried explaining that and she didn’t seem to understand and continued to put words in my mouth. At one point I had to tell her that i needed to hang up otherwise i was going to say something that i’d regret saying. Thank god i didn’t. Because i don’t want to hurt anyone over this even tho i’m really fuckin hurt. She tried saying that she could take it and i could say whatever to get whatever it was that i needed to get off my chest but i had already tried explaining how it wasn’t okay to cross a very clear boundary i had set and how i was frustrated and hurt by it and she still didn’t seem to understand. As of now i haven’t talked to my mother about this but i will pretty soon. So AITA for getting mad at them? I’m sorry this is all over the place, im still wrapping my mind around this but i don’t have anyone in my family that i can currently talk to about this. So i’d like y’all’s input on it? | AITA for confronting my grandmother (67f) and mother (46f) for talking to my ex step-grandmother about me? | NTA |
10ztqz7 | So this is my first time using reddit and this is a long one so bare with me. This story involves myself (27m) my parents and my 2 younger sisters (age:23 and 20). This all started when I was 16 when my parents separated, and my dad went to live with his new girlfriend. My mom spiraled out of control and her already bad drinking problem (maybe drugs) became significantly worse. The night of my 17th birthday I was playing on the computer and my mom was being super annoying so I called her out for being drunk for whatever reason and we got into a blow out. I proceeded to tell her I was taking the family computer to my dads and leaving and this escalated to her trying to smack me. I of course did not allow this and grabbed her hand and told her not to hit me and she then told me I am not allowed to stop her from hitting me and she tried again. I ended up bear hugging her and left for my dads girlfriends. This was the downfall of our relationship. I had been fed up with the drinking and abuse and my dad appeared to finally be happy so I left indefinitely. (My younger sisters still did 50/50)I finished my senior year of high school and never heard a word from my mom. During this time she lost our family home and resort we had a place at. Mind you she lied and said she was paying for both of these things up until they were repossessed, and she couldn't lie any longer. Both of these were supposedly still in my dads name holding him accountable for half (I say supposedly because I have no proof but he still complains about it to this day). Shortly after this I went to court with my dad against my mom fighting for full custody of my sisters because she was a drunk and her home was gross. My dad got custody but my mom got weekends I believe. After the custody battle my mom went on to get 3 DUIs and one of which was a car accident with my sister in the car earning her a child endangerment charge (it was dropped somehow and she still has a license).My dads house was not the best experience trying to get along with his girlfriend so I moved out at the age of 19 to live with my now fiancé and her family. After I left my sisters took on the brunt of the abuse from my dads girlfriend and found that they liked being at my moms better because she was trying to be better (she stopped drinking or at least as much as she was) and she bought my sisters whatever they wanted. My dad was not pleased with this as he spent lots of money getting full custody of them to get them away from my mom but not realizing he and his girlfriend were being abusive.\------Continued below because of character limits------ | AITA My mom insists on me having a wedding but offers very little help | NTA |
10ztf87 | So my friend recently started dating a new guy like 3 weeks ago. In those 3 weeks she broke up with him twice for him not meeting one of her standards. Last Saturday she broke it off because he wanted to see his friends over the weekend but she demands he see hee once every weekend. Then She calls me yesterday saying a few days ago they became officially in a relationship since he apologized. She then says she wants me to meet him asap so I can tell her what I think of him.I said woah slow down you just became official 2 days ago and last weekend you were saying how stupid he was. I said I will meet him in a couple months once the two of you are established and in a serious relationship. I also mentioned my social anxiety and fear of 3rd wheeling so I Said I don't want to meet someone unless you're sure this is the guy you want to be with. She got annoyed saying I have to meet him soon bc she wants my opinion and told me to just get over my fear of 3rd wheeling. She said oh he's going out of town in March so u should meet him this month bc waiting til April is too long. Like what?? If this is the man you'll be marrying I don't think it's such a big deal to wait til you've been dating him a couple months for me to meet him.Am I wrong for saying this?? I should add that I've been questioning our friendship in general lately too because she only talks about men the entire hang out despite me askintlg her to talk less about it and hasn't shown much interest in my life other than an obligatory "how are you?" After talking about herself for hours. so why I must rush out to meet this guy where I'm sure the whole night will be about them anyway. Ugh. | AITA for not wanting to meet my friend's new bf? | NTA |
10zt83e | I love them- they're family- but they don't treat my mom well (their daughter). They criticize her, to her face, and nothing she does ever seems to be enough for them. There's always something that isn't up to their standards, and they make sure to tell her.​My uncle (their son) and aunt are expecting a girl, and decided to name her after my grandma. My mom, however, didn't name either of her kids after her parents, although my brother's middle name is after my uncle. While they don't explicitly say it, my grandma's been making sure to tell my mom *what an honor* it is to have a granddaughter named after her, and how *nice* it was of my uncle to do that. It's an implied, "and why couldn't you name *your* kids after us"?​She recently flew out to visit them, and my uncle and aunt offered for her to stay at their house. She accepted, and my grandparents got offended that she didn't stay at *their* house, despite the fact that my uncle offered first. On top of that, my mother had the *audacity* to not spend every single day of her visit with them, and my grandma promptly hung up on her when she said she wasn't joining them for dinner because she was taking my uncle and aunt out to a nice dinner as thanks.​They've completely lost their filter in their old age, and don't think they're saying anything bad, just speaking their mind. So, if I suddenly lashed out, It'd be "out of nowhere". I just don't know if I could stay polite and nice if they talked shit about my mom in front of me, or implied it. My mom is a fantastic woman, and I couldn't have asked for a better mother. She's a great parent, and has treated me with nothing but love and kindness during my recent mental health struggles. ​The conflict, for me, is what I feel is an obligation, as family, to visit them before they pass in a few years, and the fact that they treat me well. How can I avoid them when technically they've done nothing wrong to me? If they haven't personally wronged me, wouldn't I be TA if I treated them as if they had? They've always been nice to me, even if I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them. Also, so far they haven't said anything bad about my mom in front of me, and I'm not really supposed to know that they've said things to her face.​I could probably make it through a visit to them, but man, I really don't want to. I wouldn't feel comfortable, and I don't know how I'd react if they said anything about my mom. But also, they're the only grandparents I have left, and they're really getting on in years. So, I'm supposed to visit them, aren't I? I don't really have a valid excuse not to.​So, WIBTA if I continued avoiding visiting them, even if it means they pass without me seeing them in person again? I wouldn't be going NC or anything, I'd still talk to them over the phone sometimes, but I also wouldn't see them face-to-face. | WIBTA If I didn't visit my grandparents? | NTA |
10zhmiv | (Sorry if it's all over the place, English isn't my first language.) I 20f has been living with my grandparents and aunt, mostly because of some family drama and me moving just makes everyone happier. Here's the issue I usually get paid about three thousand-ish (south african rand) and would normally give my mom (used to live with her, her husband and five siblings before moving) around a thousand rand when I get paid. I've only been working for about six months and just got permanent ( me, my mom and sister work at the same place) Last month was a really good pay day, mostly due to us having to work two holidays so I was able to give both my mom and aunt each a thousand plus extra but I still managed to run out in just a few days. Though it might be due to my own budgeting faults. I'm afraid this month I won't be ble to give both my mom and aunt as much as they want but I think it's mostly my mom who's going to have an issue if I don't give her a thousand rand, my aunt is happy as long as I buy essentials since both my grandparents are on pension and she is currently waiting for pension as she recently turned 60 (not entirely sure of the situation) WIBTA if I gave my aunt a thousand rand and not my mom, seeing as I live with my aunt now and not my mom. I did make it clear to my mom that I would give her as much as I can but I want to be able to put aside transport money for the month first. | WIBTA If I didn't give my mom a thousand rand since I don't live with her anymore | NTA |
10zswdk | So I (F28) am getting married this month and I did not invite my (M32) “bestfriend”. Yes, bestfriend with the quotes because I stopped talking to him for about 6 months. And to be honest, I didn’t feel like we were really be bestfriends.It’s just that I feel like most of our friendship he was using me. From buying gifts for his then-girlfriend to contacting his bank, paying local bills, getting documents for him and having them notarized, etc. None of these were out of my pocket and he moved abroad so he cannot do them himself. Although, you can’t say I’m the only one he can depend on because he has a lot of other friends, close relatives, and basically a lot of connections. It’s not really a big deal to me but you know, a little token of appreciation would be nice. It’s not even because we’re in different countries that it’s impossible, I was able to send him wine but he cannot be bothered with sending even a holiday card?On his first visit after migrating, we had dinner with our other friends. He had me pay. But okay, I can let those slip. However, I also felt like he was too needy for a friend, not boyfriend level but still demanding. He gets sulky when I don’t catch up with him for a long time guilt tripping me saying my life is good that’s why I don’t remember him anymore. Like, hello, he did that to me. He basically ignored me when he had a girlfriend. Oh, except on times when he needed my help on something. Also when they broke up and I was the one with him (virtually) the whole time he was getting through it.My last straw was when he was visiting again. He wanted to meet up but I’m like 50 miles away from where he’s staying. He said we can meet halfway in the city (technically, it’s still closer to his place). I was not eager with the idea as I recently just had 2 very minor car accidents and 2 traffic violations. I told him I developed a trauma in driving in the city, but my boyfriend and I, together with some friends (who were his former colleagues) are doing some errands somewhere a bit closer to him so maybe we can meet then. I thought it would also be a good opportunity for him to catch up with them as well. He shut down the idea and told me to stop juggling him with my errands and plans with other friends. I was getting annoyed but I still tried to come up with an agreement. However, after multiple back and forth, lots of bargaining, we still weren’t agreeing. So, I just stopped texting him back. That was like 6 months ago.I’m thinking I might be the asshole for not compromising since he’s visiting from abroad, that I just suddenly completely stopped texting him, and now that I did not invite him to my wedding. I’m thinking it might be the chance to reconcile with him. I don’t know, I still feel guilty about it sometimes. That’s why I’m asking, AITA? | AITA I stopped talking to my best friend and did not invite him to my wedding? | NTA |
10zs1w4 | dramatic title i know but bear with me. (i am using a throwaway) my best friend (24F) and i (21F) went out to get drinks. prior to arriving we had agreed we would be going to my apartment after and she would drive. we get there, i drink more than i would if i were driving. we leave and i let her know i’m in fact drunk, to which she starts encouraging me to stay at one of my male friend’s houses. i absolutely DO NOT want to do that because the male friend in question has tried pressuring me in the recent past. (to her credit, information she doesn’t know.) i tell her that i’m fine and i really don’t feel comfortable sleeping there. she then informs me she won’t be sleeping at my house or driving to my house because “she doesn’t want to.” and then offers me to sleep at her house. i’ve never slept at her house, and i will not be sleeping at her house for reasons i won’t go into. but she knows this. she ends up leaving me with my car and going home. i express to her that i would have never drank as much as i did if i knew i would be driving at all, i also call her selfish and tell her if i were to crash and die it would be her fault. i said a lot more but those are the highlights. she responds to this by saying that i can’t put that on her, that she should be able to express how she feels, and that i should be fine to drive since it wasn’t that many drinks. she also tells me i have “options” and i could stay with male friend or stay at her house despite my feelings and comfort. i respond again by saying that if i knew i would have to drive at all i would not have drank this much etc etc. i can recognize the dramatics in my response to her but i personally find this so extremely wrong. i think it shows a lack of care for me and my safety and not the actions of a friend. my sister and other friend think i’m justified but my friend clearly doesn’t. so, am i the asshole?*EDITING TO INFORM EVERYONE I DID NOT DRIVE* | AITA for calling my best friend selfish and telling her it would be her fault if i crashed and died ? | NTA |
10zj2pk | So right after the pandemic I moved in with my aunt and her husband and their daughter and it’s been 2 years since then. No specific reason I moved other than the fact that they have a spare room and I wanted to live in the city. Both my uncle and my aunt have well paying jobs in the city as they work in tech, but my little cousin sister goes to a fancy school which has a pretty high tuition and we live in a very metropolitan area of the city. I wouldn’t consider us rich or anything, maybe comfortable, like upper middle class. Even so I have rarely borrowed any money from any of them if I can help it. My dad and I aren’t in Contact a lot because he’s in another state and I don’t enjoy asking him for money either since he’s paying off my sisters pricey college tuition in completion. For context, I’m homeschooled so I don’t have a high tuition other than my books and stationary I basically study everything by myself. I have a savings account and I rarely go out and spend money. I also have a part time job that gets me around 20 dollars a week or so if I have a shift during that time. Recently I have been going out every weekend as my friends are free and we wanted to hang out a bit before leaving for college. The only problem was that my savings account was meant to be for my first year of college and I’ve been saving since I was in 9th grade. I have around 400 dollars in the account which is more than enough for the country I intend to go to. My aunt and uncle are very generous with me and give me money whenever I ask but I have only asked like once or twice because it makes me so uncomfortable . I have had to cancel almost every plan because I simply cannot pay for much. I also live in a place where there aren’t many parks or anything so the only other thing is inviting them to my place or me going to theirs. My friends are very understanding but they get a little sad when I cancel plans right before we are set to go off to college. I don’t know what to do about this because I don’t want to end up asking for money even when they’re already doing so much for me but I also really miss going out with my friends. It also wouldn’t be fair for me to ask for an allowance because I’m not their kid. My dad is pretty unreliable when it comes to this stuff too, he often says he will and then he doesn’t and it makes me feel bad to keep asking knowing how much he has on his plate. How do I tackle this issue? AITA??Edit: I wanted to hang out with my friends because it’s a rare occurrence, I don’t have any classmates, since I’m homeschooled so it does get a little lonely, I try to stay in touch with all of my friends though and they miss me too, that’s it. | AITA for asking my aunt for money after I moved in with her and her family during the pandemic? | YTA |
10zrsf1 | My cousin, let's call her Sarah, is always complaining about her job. She talks about how she's been in restaurant for decades and back in the day you had to work so much harder than us younger people etc. She's constantly saying these things that low-key belittle my work, and how much easier it is and how we "don't really even have to work that much" in office jobs. She goes on and on about how she wants better work life balance, and that it's not fair that so many jobs she could get don't pay enough etc. It's a constant stream of complaints whenever she comes to friend or family outings.She and my sister are now angry with me because I lost my patience and told her that we all make choices. She chose to continue in the restaurant career. And it's not like it's a secret how hard that work is. Despite her implications that us younger folks are spoiled, I actually started in restaurant in high school to help make ends meet. I worked full time my senior year because we were intermittently homeless. and I realized then that I needed to get an education so I could do more in life because I knew restaurant was never going to be a good job for me. I made the choice to go to college, and went with the cheapest possible option for me. While my day to day work is less physically challenging, I've spent years with essentially no income in order to build the skills necessary to get into that job, and if she thinks it's easy, I told her she's welcome to come spend a day at my office.I'm really not trying to be an a-hole, but I got so tired of the constant passive aggressive jealousy and I was honestly offended by her implication that someone from my background was just handed this kind of job on a silver platter. It was not an easy path for me at all, and I'd argue that it's hard for anyone to take the steps to build a career. I even suggested several Coursera certificates that would allow her to make a career change, but then all she talks about is how she's too old to learn new things. I told her I've seen numerous people make that change late in life (I actually know someone personally who took the Google certificate at 54 and got hired in Boulder), and that it seemed like she just wanted a free pass to complain constantly and snub our "easy" jobs, instead of actually taking steps to change the situation that she clearly doesn't like. AITA for calling this out or should I have just written it off as part of her family quirks and just let it go? | AITA for telling my cousin that her crappy job is her problem? | NTA |
10ziv3d | Hello, first of all, English is not my first language and im on my phone so sorry for any of my mistakes. I (19, f) am living in Turkey. As you know, Turkey had one 7.8 and one 7.6 earthquake on 6th February and i live in one of the most affected cities, Adana. My mom is from Hatay, where is the most affected city. My mothers side and we lost their everything we had in that city. My 82 years old grandfather had to stay under rubbles for 36 hours. The building next to our house collapsed with many other buildings around. Our house is damaged, we stayed in streets for two days and struggled to find some warm place and food. We lost some of our relatives and our friends. Many of my friends lost their family with everything they had. Luckily, everyone in my family is safe and healthy but as you can see, we are having traumatic experiences. I'm a university student and because of the earthquake, i dont have a computer to pick my classes for the semester and its nearly impossible for me to do it on my phone. I called the student services to get it done for me but there wasnt any quota for a teachers class. Its not a big deal. 2 days after the earthquake, we were able to go to a safer city and now we are staying at my cousins house. After 1 day we arrived here, a close friend of mine who lives in the same city as we are staying right now, called me to meet me. We were sitting at a cafe while another friend of us, lets call him E (19, m) called to tell that the teachers class has quota and i asked him to sign me up for that. I couldnt do it on my own, i mentioned why earlier. He couldnt do it. Still not a big deal. After that day we were talking on our group chat about that class and because of the conversation, i thought there was another quota opening and they didnt let me know. I said "I wish you guys would let me know about it". And then he said "There was no other openings after the one i told you. Instead of telling me to do it for you thousands of times, do it on your own." I saw red at that moment. We had a fight with him. I didnt say any curse words to him though. After the fight he said that he is sorry but i still feel so hurt. Other friend of mine told me that she gets my point but he probably worded it wrong and im exaggerating it, i shouldnt be that mean to him. I was so offended by his words because he knew that im not able to do it on my own and we are having super hard times right now. Classes are the last thing to think about for me in this situation, yet im still trying my best to do something about it. I dont think i deserved that attitude or that words. But when my friend said it was clear what he was trying to say but he just worded it wrong, i started to feel like i exaggerated it. I hope that you guys can understand what i was trying to explain, sorry for my English and any other mistakes. AITA? | AITA For Getting Mad At My Friends Words? | NTA |
10zhmd2 | I (18M) have an older brother, Harry (21M). He has a new born son with his wife (23F) Maria.Harry and Maria have an awful relationship. They've been together for the past six years on and off and Maria is mentally abusive. She's insanely jealous to the point where she wouldn't let Harry hang out with our older sister, Shay (26F) because she's adopted and not a biological sister. Harry is genuinely the kindest person I know so I think he's just too in love to know what's best for himself, however, I do think Maria has cooled off since being pregnant and having the baby.Yesterday, my dad called me while I was on the way home from college. He asked me to watch my brother's son for max an hour. My nephew was at my house because Maria needed to go to the A&E and my brother was with her. My mum was at work, and my dad had a cough that he didn't want to pass on to my nephew. I was happy to do so because my nephew is adorable. My friend, Scarlet (17F), was supposed to come over to help with a project but she loves babies so she didn't mind helping me watch my nephew.About twenty minutes into watching him, my nephew started to cry and I couldn't settle him. Scarlet has been around a lot of babies and she's good with them, so she took him and she settled him quickly. He fell asleep on her, and when I tried to put him in his Moses basket, he would wake up and cry so we decided to let him nap in her arms. At some point, he spat up on her which I found hilarious so I took some pictures and put one on my private Snapchat story. My brother is on my priv, so he called me and told me to put my nephew in his basket. I explained that he cried every time he was moved, and my brother freaked out and went on this long rant about how I shouldn't have let Scarlet hold him because if Maria saw, she'd go nuts. I tried to explain that she had no reason to go nuts because Scarlet is just my friend doing me a favour but he wouldn't listen. He called my mum, who left work and was really annoyed at me when she got home. She told me that I should've known better because we know what Harry's relationship with Maria is like and he's going through a difficult time with a new born and his wife at the A&E. According to her, I shouldn't have let my nephew sleep on Scarlet and I should apologise to Harry. AITA for letting my friend hold my nephew because we all know his wife is insanely jealous and I should've been mindful of that? | AITA for letting my friend hold my nephew? | NTA |
10zpwv7 | My(19M) friend(19M) let me know about his relationship of about 6 months.I found out that he call her potato,and he seems fine with it.I didn't even know her name and i never tried to found about her or talked about her with my friend.Recently he posted her photo saying "best potato ever".The next day he made some dish with potatoes and some vegetables for me.And i thought i can make a good joke about all this.so i clicked a picture of the food and put it on my status(WhatsApp) saying "eating his(friend's name) potato 💀 dish(i dunno what this is)".I called my friend and asked him to see my status at first he didn't understand and then he dm me saying now i got it and then we had a short conversation and he was all cool with it and said this was good.And then he send my status to his girlfriend.he thought she'll also be fine with it and will also find this a good joke.But instead she blocked him from everywhere and she's not even giving him a chance to talk. She told all this to her sis and then his sis talked trashed about my friend.She asked my friend that this isn't a good thing and he should talk to me about this.She said what he'll(me) do if someone talked about his sis like this.I asked my friend for her contact so that i can say sorry about all this but he didn't.Now I'm feeling like shit cause of all this. | AITA for making a joke about my friend's girlfriend? | YTA |
1108ee4 | I (30M) found out yesterday that a new phone line was added to my wireless account. When I logged on and checked, it showed that I added the line from my account's username and that it was a new number. I called the number from my phone and a girl answered, who I immediately recognized as "Marie" (not her real name). Marie is the best friend of my girlfriend (30F). I asked her about this and she said to check with my girlfriend "Laura" (not her real name either) as she is the one who helped her set up eSIM on her phone with our provider. Some context, me and Laura have been dating 3 years and I've known Marie since. Me and Laura have been paying for our wireless lines (I'm the only account holder) for those 3 years. I asked Laura and she said "it wasn't a big deal". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were "helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore". I called Marie and told her I'd be cutting her line off at 5pm unless she came up with a way to pay (the bill for Marie's line was $50/month.)I did not hear from her so I then went and disconnected Marie's eSIM online. I did not say anything until Marie called Laura from another phone and said hers wasn't working. I told Laura I cut it off and Laura said I was "ungrateful" and "can't even help Marie out". She then left and went over to Marie's house.When she came back she went straight to bed. When she got up this morning she left and says she's staying at a friend's house tonight. AITA? | AITA for disconnecting a phone line I didn't know about? | NTA |
110d5zl | I'm a 32 year old woman who lives alone in my own place that I own. Growing up I was never taught any typical home maintenance stuff, how to do basic repairs, what different tools are for etc because my dad is a bit of a chauvinist who thinks women don't need to know that, their husbands will.I learnt everything myself while renting shitty places throughout my 20's because it's easier than getting the landlord or agents to do it and now feel pretty competent when it comes to upkeep and repairs of my own place. That is except for anything electrical outside of changing lightbulbs. So about 6 months ago when my bedroom light went out and I discovered it wasn't the bulb I decided instead of paying for an electrician I would just get a bedside lamp which works a treat. There are no other electrical issues in the house, just this one light.Anywho recently my younger brother 'john' asked to stay at mine while I was away for a few days to get some space from the 5 other people he rents with. I said sure, no worries. The first night he's there he notices the bedroom light is out, I explain the situation and he decides to put a message in the family chat taking the piss out of me for not knowing how to look after my own place and sort shit out. My other 2 brothers and dad start laying into me for being negligent and not telling them so they could organise an electrician for me. I simply sent back 'john talk to me about homeownership when you aren't living in a six person share house with no way of buying your own place anytime soon'. Everyone is now calling me an asshole because John has been trying really hard to work and save so he can get his own place and now I feel pretty guilty.So AITA? | AITA for shaming my brother for renting? | NTA |
1100h2y | I am a 38m. Daughter (Isa, fake name) is 17f. Stepdaughter (Ava, also fake name) is 9f.Isa's stepfather recently died. I felt terrible because I knew while they weren't super close, he'd been in her life since she was 5, so I knew it must've hit hard. My family was also invited to the funeral.The issue is, however, is Ava has horrible social anxiety. She's homeschooled because of it and has difficulty going to social outings. She's in therapy and has an emotional support rabbit named Luna. Since this funeral would be pretty crowded, we decided to let Ava bring Luna to the funeral. Isa had a problem with that.Isa quickly told me she didn't think it was a good idea. Pets were not allowed at this particular cemetery. I told her this was a rabbit (what harm could it do?) and Ava had a medical reason for bringing her rabbit. She then looked it up on google and showed me only service animals were allowed to come. I told her I'd bring Luna, and if an issue arose, we'd leave. She begged me not to, saying her step-dad's death was already hard enough on her mom, and she didn't want any drama to make it worse. I told her I'd think about it and keep that in mind.The thing is, Ava needs her emotional support pet. She wouldn't make it through the funeral if she didn't. She also really wanted Ava there, so what else could we do?Isa drove to the funeral with her mom, while my family and I drove together. We brought Luna. Isa and her mom were waiting for us at the entrance when we got out. When Isa saw Luna, she freaked out and started yelling that she told me not to bring her.I explained Ava's needs, and she then screamed that Ava should've just stayed home then and caused Ava to cry (I felt bad because I know she was already dreading the social interaction, so hearing her sister say that must've hurt her badly). My wife and Isa got into it after that. (not so kind words were spoken by either party)Her mom took Isa's side and told us to leave. I agreed, and we went home. Isa has been giving me the cold shoulder, but I don't know how else I could've handled this differently.AITA? | AITA for bringing an emotional support animal to a funeral despite my daughters wishes? | YTA |
110aj01 | Thanks for the support. To clear up parts of the story. I should have handled the situation differently(I NEVER said no to her).When Mark went on leave for the first time he was home for 2 weeks before he got shipped out. In those two weeks Alice was conceived. Mark is 100% Alice's bio dad.Disregarding Alice's feelings was the last thing I wanted to do. May, Alice and Jenny are my world. I don't treat my daughters any different.My feelings for May changed when I saw the way she would interact with Alice after they moved in. It filled my heart with more emotion and love that I had not felt ever before that point.The party was just close family which is only us 4 and Mark's/my parents. Since it was a week night. They left so we could work things out.Mark is the only reason I made it past my teen years. I was in a deep and dark spiral. He saved me. So when people say he is dead get over it. I CAN'T. He never gave up on me and I refuse to give him up.I went to Mark's parents and had a nice talk with them. They said Mark would be happy and proud of who I am and how well I have taken care of the people he loved. They don't feel like I am replacing their son in any way but I am a son to them.I called my wife she agreed to talk. I admitted how I felt we should've had this talk before the party and this could've been avoided. At that she did apologize. I then explained more about why I said what I did(personal feelings and emotions) She said that she thought I would be happy and sign. I explained my point of view she understood my concerns and hesitation. We were finishing the conversation when Jenny ran out if her room and asked if we were okay. I said yes and that I love her very much.I then went to talk to Alice alone. I went to her room and my heart broke again. She was still crying on her bed. I knocked and asked if we could talk. She squeaked out a yes. I sat on the edge of her bed while she had her back to me. I told her that I love her and I will always be her dad. I apologized saying that I never meant to hurt her, sometimes adults make mistakes and are not clear with their words or emotions. I made a mistake and hope one day I can make it up to her. I explained Mark was a very important person in my life and I am grateful that he was able to help bring a beautiful and special daughter in to my life. I will always love her and that I have the best daughters in the world.(Not the full conversation)She turned around hugged me really tight. It was one of the best hugs of my life. I told her that it would be my honor to adopt her if she still wants that. Between sobs she said she did. We stayed like that until she fell asleep.After that May and I did a very overdue heart to heart and deep talk. It is not all sunshine and rainbows we still have a lot of healing to do.I have not signed yet(I will). We as a family are looking through all of the legal options and we are on the books for therapy. | AITA Update Not wanting to "officially" adopt my daughter? | NAH |
1100pu4 | I 26M have been with my girlfriend for a bit over 2 yrs. We live separately but she's been spending most days at my house. I eventually gave her a key to my place. I'll come home from work and most of the time she'll be there. She basically lives there. Has a lot of her belongings there,showers, sleeps there,etc. She has 4 sisters. 2 younger, her twin and her older sister. Her older sister has a 2 yr old daughter and is a single mom. My girlfriend has been asking if her sister could come to my house to hang out. I have no problem with it so I say sure. Here's the problem. I got home Thursday. When I got inside my girlfriend was with her niece. I greet my girlfriend and niece. When I start walking to my bedroom, my girlfriend tells me she set out clothes for me in my gaming room. I ask why ? And she says that her sister is taking a nap in my bedroom. I'm taken back by this and say ummmm no yea she cant do that. My girlfriend asks what I mean. I tell my girlfriend that not only is it rude to sleep in others peoples beds but this is also my house, so I won't be quiet either. My girlfriend explains that her sister is burnt out and needs a break. I told her that's fine and everything but she can't be sleeping in my room, on my bed. That my house isn't a hotel. I could sense my girlfriend getting angry. She's one of those types that is a silent angry. She simply gets up, tells her sister to get up. They gather their stuff and she leaves with her. She calls me back saying that since my house isn't a hotel, she won't be staying there with me anymore. She tells me that her sister seriously needed a break and I couldn't help her. She hangs up before I can say anything. I'm having mixed feelings about this whole thing but feel I could've handled it better. AITA ? | AITA for not allowing my girlfriend's sister to sleep at my house ? | NTA |
1102zvq | I wasn't a great person in high school. My friends and I had our own little click and we weren't nice to some of our classmates. I tried going to college but it wasn't for me. I got a job at a car dealership and eventually started selling cars. I'm pretty good at it so I make a good living. My younger brother did great in university and he has a pretty good future ahead of him. After he graduated he started working in the city and there is a club there for graduates from his university. He ran into a girl that I wasn't very nice to in high school. She is a couple of years older than him but they started dating. I don't think she realized he was my brother. He likes that they grew up in the same town. They are at the meeting the family stage and he brought her home for Christmas. My parents had sold their home after we all moved out so they didn't live in the same town anymore. She recognized me right away. I didn't recognize her. I guess she got past the ugly duckling part of growing up. She is very physically attractive. She is also doing well in life. She didn't say anything until I approached her after dinner. She asked if I honestly couldn't remember her. I didn't. Until she reminded me of the stuff I used to do to her. I felt sick to my stomach. I immediately apologized for everything and said that I had been an asshole kid and that I had grown up since then. She said that she was glad and that she accepted my apology. I sent out my wedding invitations recently and my brother RSVP'd with his plus one. I asked him who he was bringing. He said that he was bringing his girlfriend. The girl from Christmas. So I guess she never mentioned me. I kind of want to ask him not to bring her. A lot of my old friends will be at the wedding and I don't want any thing to happen. She forgave me but I still think it is kind of shady that she never brought up our past to my brother. Would it be an asshole move if I asked him not to bring her to my wedding? | WIBTA for not wanting a woman I used to bully at my wedding. | YTA |
110b3gc | My mom has a daughter Amy (27f) with a man called Brian. He left her while she was pregnant but stayed in Amy's life. When my mom met my dad four years later Brian started causing trouble and turned Amy against my dad, and later against me and my younger sister. Amy was not kind to us over the years. Mom and Brian were in and out of court fighting over what he was doing, mom had Amy in therapy to get her behavior to improve, but nothing helped. My mom's side of the family all struggled with having Amy around. She was always going out of her way to shit on my dad or to be mean to my little sister and I. A few times she called us names in front of our cousins that my aunts and uncles hated them hearing (f\*ckface, c\*nt, re\*ard) and were worried they would mimic, especially the little ones. One time at one cousins birthday party, dad was in charge of taking photos and she she started yelling out that he stank, that he was ugly, weak, pathetic, etc. Mom would always step in and pull her away and honestly it only ever bothered Amy when mom was visibly mad. Sometimes mom would try to compose herself and just be cool and collected with her. But Amy wanted mom to not be mad at her and she wanted them to be close, she just didn't want the rest of us.It was a relief when Amy decided to stay with Brian. I remember a few things about him from the time Amy was still coming around (mom and Brian had 50-50 custody). He was always such an asshole.Mom's family did keep trying to include Amy and be there for her. But last weekend they hosted a family reunion to get together with relatives we hadn't seen in forever or some of us hadn't even met... and Amy wasn't invited. My grandparents said they'd had enough and my aunts and uncles agreed. After the party mom asked them if it was really so much better without Amy around and they said yes. Mom then noticed that I had been much more happy at the party and even showed up early to help out and we talked and I admitted to her that I was glad Amy hadn't been there. I told her it was the first party I could remember where she didn't make it awful. Mom was so upset. Like she actually started to cry and she admitted that she knew it wasn't easy for the rest of us and she was sorry, and she just wanted everyone to get along, or at least for Amy to have grown out of the shit Brian had told her. We hugged it out and everything.But then mom called a few days ago and told me she needs me to keep thoughts like that to myself. She said it hurt her a lot and it was insensitive to say it to her, because Amy is still her daughter, even if she is behaving badly. I told her I understood and maybe we should just not speak about this stuff in the future. Mom got mad and told me to just not say I'm glad her oldest child isn't around. Now I feel really bad. AITA? | AITA for admitting to my mom that I was glad my half sister wasn't at a party? | NTA |
1108lt1 | I (23m) was given a German Shepherd (4f) by a friend (21f) about half a year ago. She got the dog as a rescue, and told me she was having trouble with training her. She wasn't adapting to the new house, new owners, or other dogs. Along with this, it was just bad timing. Not having the money to take another dog in. I asked her if she'd consider getting rid of the dog, and she said yes. So, I brought her home.Mari, the dog, has now been living in my house for the whole half year. She's been trained since. She's house trained, listens to commands, is great with kids, and strangers, and can be walked without a leash (I still use one of course). All things I could not have said about her months ago. I had a few friends over today, and the former owner was one of them. After seeing how well trained she was, she told me she was gonna take Mari home next week.Now, I never bought Mari. But, I took her in under the assumption she was my dog. After all, I was told she was my dog. That my friend didn't want her. To suddenly change your mind after I've spent all this time training her, treating her like family, buying her toys and such, genuinely hurt me. I denied, and told my friend she should've put the work in herself If she wanted a trained dog. My friends are on her side. She was the original owner, and she wants her dog back. According to some of my friends, they were told I was offered 200 dollars for Mari, but never was. I love this dog. And considering I'm recently out of a relationship, I'd really rather not lose the closest thing I have to an emotional support animal. She's there when I get home from work, she sleeps at the foot of my bed, She's my best friend. And I refuse to part with her. Am I the asshole? | AITA For not returning a dog a friend gave me | NTA |
1108f0y | My best friend (27f) and I (26f) have been friends for 20 years. Let's call her Lisa. Lisa is an amazing person, and I love her to death, but I feel as though she isn't growing. She is stuck in her partying phase that I got over years ago. I have a full time job, im planning a wedding, and im in the process of buying a house. I dont always have the time to go out. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind going to parties, clubs, and bars every once in awhile, but Lisa wants to go every weekend, and sometimes on weekdays. She gets upset at me if I say no and complains about how I'm boring and never hang out with her anymore. She calls me old, saying that I am a 60 year old stuck in a 20's body. My fiancé's birthday was yesterday. I planned a cabin trip with a group of friends and invited her. Since last night was his actual birthday, we had quite a bit to drink. It was a really great time. However, today, we all woke up hungover. We decided tonight, we would just have a more laid back night and just play some board games. She suggested we drive into town and go bar hopping. A few people said they would go with her, but my fiancé and I told her that we would probably just hang back because we were still recovering from the night before. She called me boring. That really ticked me off but I let it go. However, just a little while ago, she and a few friends were pregaming to go out and asked if I wanted to take a shot with them. I told her no because I still wasn't feeling well and didn't want to drink tonight. She kept pushing it so I told her to stop and just respect that I am telling her no. She then went on about how ever since I got engaged I started acting like I was so much better than her and how I'm no fun anymore. I finally had enough and told her that she needs to grow up. We are not 21 anymore. I do not have the time or the energy to go out all the time to get drunk. I am working towards my future and my goals, and she needs to start getting her act together too. Things got really quiet and then she ran to her room in tears. She stayed in there for a bit, then she came out with her suitcase and said that she was going home because she didn't want to spend any more time with people who were just going to look down on her. After she left, a few friends told me that I had crossed the line and that I could have just said no to her instead of attacking her like that. My fiancé is on my side but my other friends said that I should apologize to her. She might not have wanted to hear it, but I think what I said was something she needed to hear. AITA? | AITA for telling my best friend that she needs to grow up and do something with her life? | ESH |
10zumny | Throwaway AccountI (35m) used to be married to my high school sweetheart "Kelly" (35f). We got married after undergrad and overall I would say that we were really happy. The biggest conflict that I would say we had was the topic of children. Not the idea of actually having them but when. I've always wanted to be a dad and wanted to have my kids while I was still young enough to run around with them while they were kids and have a good adult relationship with them once they got older.Kelly brought up a lot of good points about needing to get married, living fully on our own, and being out of debt first. For about five years I worked a job I had no passion for solely because of the large paycheck and I was able to nearly wipe out our debt completely (we didn't have a lot to begin with in the first place). Then Kelly said she wanted a house, so we got one, then a few months in she talked about wanting to go to grad school.Even though we often fought about children, in the end I always supported her choices because I didn't want her to resent me. I would often ask her if Kelly had ever changed her mind about wanting kids but she assured me that she still did, just not now. I asked when would she be and it always felt like she kept moving the goal post whenever she'd list her requirements, and that I was painted as a jerk for "pressuring" her for kids. Unfortunately, after weeks of not feeling well, Kelly was diagnosed with an illness. It was rough but I stood by her and she pulled through but the cost was her fertility.I felt like a jerk again because of part of me resented Kelly for not agreeing to have kids sooner and that resentment grew when Kelly refused to look into using a surrogate, insisting that either we were both the bio parents or neither of us were. In the end I couldn't take it and just divorced her.A lot of people called me selfish, sexist, misogynistic, etc. but I just wasn't sure if this was something that I would be able to truly let go of. I let Kelly keep the house and moved out of town. Eventually I met and fell in love with Angela (32f) and after shortly moving into together she got pregnant so we got married. She's entering her third trimester with our baby girl and I'm so excited.A friend back in college moved back to the states and wanted to have a small party to see everyone. He invited Kelly and me, so I checked in with him privately and asked if it would be okay to bring my wife and he said that it was cool so I did. This was the first time I saw Kelly in person for years and she looked well enough. I was polite but kept my distance and thought everything was good until the next day when I got a barrage of texts and DMs blasting me for having the audacity to parade my heavily pregnant new (younger) wife in front of my infertile ex-wife. I had no malicious intentions and it has been a few years plus I asked beforehand just to double check so AITA?ETA: Talked about this with someone in the commentsKelly said it would be too upsetting at the idea of me having a child with another woman regardless of how the child was conceived. It was either adopt or nothing at all. I honestly felt like there was no way we could progress in the relationship without one of us resenting the other so I filed.If she truly didn't want kids she put on a great performance. Before her illness she would constantly gush over other people's babies, insisted buying a house in a good school district for our future kids, and even talked in extensive detail about wanting to be a stay-at-home for up to 6 years. I think Kelly just assumed we'd always have time and then life threw a curve ball.If Kelly had stated that she would've been open to having children sooner under the condition that I be the primary caretaker I would've done it. I would've even taken a lesser paying job so I could have the free time to do it. I NEVER wanted to put in a position where she felt like she would have to give up her career entirely. ETA 2: Stepped away for a little bit but I just wanted to be clear about something. I did NOT leave Kelly while she was still sick. It was a year after she was healthy again and we had been in therapy for months. | AITA For Showing Up To A Party With My Pregnant Wife That My Ex Was At? | NTA |
1106rtu | My youngest daughter Vivian tells me that she hates school. Vivian doesn’t have any issues with bullies and enjoys socializing with people. But she hates waking up at 7:15, she hates listening to lectures in class, and she hates studying and homework, even for a subject that she’s interested in. And there’s frankly **NOTHING** wrong with that. She doesn’t need to be a perfect student who loves school and homework. The point I am trying to emphasize is that Vivian does not like school. So I was surprised when she came to me explaining that she wanted to apply to a private college.Vivian told me that she wants to attend this particular college because her friend will be going there on a scholarship. The college is also located near a major city, where some of Vivian’s other friends will be attending a different college but will still be in the area. I looked into the costs of this private college, the tuition is fairly affordable, but the “catch” is that students are required to live on campus for all four years and the dorm costs are through the roof.I explained to Vivian that I will pay off all of her student debt if she goes to a community college first and then earns the grades to transfer to the private college (or any number of other colleges, if she is no longer interested in the private college.) But that I am not going to spend thousands of dollars when she’s shown me thus far that she isn’t emotionally committed to her studies and won’t treat her education seriously.Vivian and multiple others have told me that I am being unfair with the community college offer, because even though the cost of the private college is steep, I am still able to afford it. And I offered to and paid for her siblings to go straight to four-year colleges. I will pay for whatever college Vivian wants to attend if she agrees to attend community college and earn the grades to transfer. (Her sister chose to take this route. And she said it was very beneficial in helping her transition from high school to a major college.)But Vivian tells me that she hates school, studying, and lectures, even if she’s interested in the subject. College **is** school and includes all the things she hates about school. Vivian still has the option to prove she is emotionally ready for college by attending community college and earning the grades to transfer out. But I am not going to spend thousands of dollars unless Vivian demonstrates that she is emotionally committed to her studies and will take her education seriously. AITA For this? | AITA For refusing to pay for my youngest daughter to attend college unless she goes to community college first and earns the grades to transfer, when I offered and paid for her siblings to go straight to four-year colleges? | NTA |
10ztcwp | Throwawy because my gf has reddit.My GF Lauren has a great relationship with her boss Chelsea, actuallyreally friendly outside of work. They go to dinner or lunch together and discuss both work stuff and real talk.Even though Lauren always looks very clean and put together, she also isn't a very professional dresser in my opinion, not the way an office lady usually looks. She rarely wears make up, keeps her hair in a short cut and does nothing to style it, and wears only pants to work, never a dress or skirt, and only button downs and blazers. I love her and I love that the work environment she's in let's her feel comfortable enough to dress like this. She likes make up, she just likes either to be barefaced or go for dramatic looks that aren't appropriate for the office. Rarely she'll put on some lipstick and basic contouring.Those two facts together made me think that when she invited me to join her at a work dinner on Tues that it wasn't a formal occasion. I asked Lauren was she was wearing, she said nice slacks, a button down and a blazer, telling me that I would be fine to do the same, plus on FaceTime she had metallic eyeshadow and white eyeliner on, so I dressed in dark blue jeans and a plaid flannel button down.When I showed up, I quickly realized not only was there more than just Lauren and Chelsea but I was the only person wearing jeans, not that it was easy to see that especially once we all sat down. One of Lauren's coworkers was wearing a polo and khakis though, which I felt was equal to my outfit. No one looked twice at my clothes and we all had a good time. It was a nonissue.Lauren and I had planned on her following me home so she could stay the night with me, but when we got to our cars she said she didn't want to anymore because she was mad I didn't dress appropriately to dinner. I said I dressed just as appropriately as she did because there was nothing business appropriate about wearing white eyeliner. She just laughed in my face at that and told me to fuck off. I tried texting and calling her, but she just told me to leave her alone and refused to discuss the fight instead of just shutting me down.Edit: No not all women need to wear skirts to be professional, but you match the formality of your boss in the work and Lauren is the only woman in the office that never wears a dress or skirt, contrast where Chelsea always does. No she doesn't need long hair to be professional but there needs to be some styling to it, something to give body or make it look less like she just ran a brush through it and called it a day. It wasn't a lumberjack style flannel, it was black and white and pressed nicely. I could have dressed it up with a jacket and in hind sight I would have. I don't get how it's bad to call a flamboyant face of makeup not professional, but I didn't mean it as an insult and I don't get why "basic contouring" was such a bad thing to say?Edit: resounding yes. I didn't understand a lot of what I was expecting or how it appeared or what the implications were. I made connections between things that really aren't equal at all. | AITA for dressing "casually" to a work dinner? | YTA |
1101y3f | I’ll try to keep this short as i can. I’m a RN and I work 12 hour shifts mostly. If you’re in the medical field you know how tiring it is when you just want to come home, take a shower and sleep because you probably have to do it all over again tomorrow. Well when i come home I can’t sleep because I have 2 kids i have to take care of. Most days when I get home from work I cook for everybody and get ready for bed. Recently my husbands been seeing me cooking and getting take out? The first time he did it, i didn’t mind but now it’s starting to get to me because you obviously see me in here cooking for y’all after a long ass 12 hour shift and you basically say fuck me and go out to get something to eat? it just pisses me off. I didn’t work today but he did so i thought why not make a nice dinner for him and the kids. I made steak and potatoes with cheese broccoli. If somebody made that for me after work i’ll be fucking ecstatic but he just came home said hey to us and went to get food when he sees that i’m cooking? It’s starting to work my last damn nerve so i talked to him about it and he said he didn’t see the big deal. Now i just feel like i should just stop cooking for him period. | WIBTA for not cooking my husband dinner anymore | NTA |
10zw3k6 | I started a new job and was paired with a deaf personWe had hard time communicating, even through texting on the phone I brought this up with the boss and she said that it's difficult for deaf people to learn to read bla bla bla (which is true, the median reading grade for deaf high school graduates is fourth grade) Then she suggested that I learn sign languageProblem is they are not signing up or paying for my sign language classes nor are they paying me an hourly wage while learning sign languageAITA for flat out refusing to do that ? | AITA for refusing to learn sign language | NTA |
10zy8wm | I (M25) have a friend (F25) whom I often cook with. Nothing romantic, or even sexual between us. We just like to get together every once in a while. One think we do is a food prep once a month. And every single time I use chicken or a roast she insists on washing the meat. I have tried on multiple occasions to explain to her that meat doesn't need to be washed before you cook it. She refuses to listen and she refuses to eat the food we make unless I wash the meat. We got together this morning for our food prep day. She brought a big package of ground chicken. I had chicken thighs and pork chops. As usual she insisted that I wash the meat. I asked her if she wanted to use the sink to wash her ground chicken before we used it. She said I was being ridiculous because ground meat doesn't need to be washed because the meat gets washed before they grind it. I said she was being silly because that make no sense. I pulled up a YouTube video of ground chicken being made. Nope. The meat never god washed. She said that it was just one video. So I asked her to find one where they washed the meat. She couldn't. She said that her mom always washed meat before she cooked it. I asked if her mom washed ground meat too. She said I was being an asshole making fun of her and her mom. We made our food in silence and she left but she is still mad at me. | AITA for making fun of my friend for not washing ground chicken. | NTA |
1106coh | My son is 10 and growing a bit. The clothes that were bought for him in September are already getting a bit tight. So me and him went to Old Navy and GAP to buy him new stuff. When he went to his mom's (we are exes and share 50/50), she asked for his old clothes so she could resale them online.I asked her that to give me half the money that she got. She refused on the basis that she has childcare expenses that I don't. For example, our son is on her employer's health insurance plan. She has $160 a month docked for it.Buttttttttt I pay his co-pays and that adds up very quickly. It goes both ways.We couldn't agree on anything, including who bought what clothes because she wants to resale the clothes that I bought. After much thought, I decided to keep his old clothes. And no, I'm not donating them because they are like new and I know people will buy it and then resale it.This ensures that the parent who buys him new clothes will be able to do what they want with the old ones. Obviously neither me nor my ex are going to send him to each other's house with no clothes. | AITA for keeping my son's clothes? | YTA |
1103s3c | My parents, brother and I constantly go on trips out of town, usually to the bigger cities outside of my small town. These are planned, all day things, including going to multiple stores, malls, restaurants, etc. I make sure to put in some extra hours at my job or do some freelance work to have a little extra bit of money to spend, and to buy my brother things.The problem is, everytime I go on these trips, I don't get to do anything. For the last 3 trips in a row, I was able to buy 1 thing. The only reason I got it was because I snuck it out of the store before they came back (it was a pair of headphones I needed for college classes.).Anytime I want anything I get shamed for being "materialistic" and usually get whatever I wanted to buy physically taken from me and my card taken for the rest of the trip. I'm not allowed to order what I want at the restaurant and am forced to order under $20 because I'm not paying for it.On monday, my parents told me they wanted me to join them on a trip, but I said no and I won't go on this or any future trips. I calmly explained my reasoning and they sort of laughed me off. But this morning, when they woke me up, I refused to get out of bed and go. They got mad and took away my car keys and grounded me for the rest of the month. I don't know why I'm in trouble, but I just wanted to know AITA?Edit: I'm 17, I turn 18 on the 10th of March. I only payed half for the car which is why they can take it from me (their words) I take dual classes with my highschool so when I graduate I will have a technical certificate and a year after I will have a associates degree. | AITA for not wanting to go on trips anymore because I never get to do anything? | NTA |
1105iur | Wife (30F) and I (33M) had plans to go out to eat so before we went to a nearby brewery for a drink. . It served food but we didn't plan on eating there, just drinks. This was a place we had never been to. In my area dogs are allowed outside with a dog friendly patio permit, but not indoors where they serve food. My wife and I are not dog people at all, we avoid them and don't want to be around them. We went to the bar, grabbed a drink and took a seat at a table indoors. Within 2 minutes this unleashed probably 50-60 pound dog made a bee line straight to us. I put my leg out to block it but it was persistent. It kept licking my leg and my wifes leg. It just wouldn't leave it alone. I yelled out asking who's dog is this. No one answered, no one came to get the dog, nothing. Fed up I grabbed the dog by its collar, took it to the farthest part of the outdoor patio and left it there. Where it promptly went straight up to another group. As soon as I let go of the collar a guy yells out WTF are you doing with my dog". I let him know it was bothering us and kept licking us so I took it outside away from us. The guy seems dumbfounded that I had an issue with it licking us and had more choice words. I just responded with leave your effing dog at home if you aren't going to be responsible. I went inside and slammed my beer and the wife and I left. I flipped the guy off as I left. | AITA for leaving a dog outside and unattended at a restaurant | NTA |
110aqt1 | TA account:I (23f) am a SAHP to a 18m girl. Since I have more flexible time (I make passive income) I babysit my niece “Kay” (8f) a lot for my sister “Pat” (35f). She has 4 kids but only Kay lives w her. She’s a single mom so when Kay needs to be picked up from school, or when Pat gets off late etc. I get her. I didn’t mind at first cuz I love my niece, but she’s very destructive. I keep age appropriate toys around for her, and give her control of the tv when she’s over since my daughter just likes the colors and sounds and doesn’t really care what’s on. But almost every time Kay is over she breaks something of my daughters. A toy, furniture, something that literally shouldn’t be easily broken at all… you name it. And it happens so fast. I could go pee and come back something’s broken. At first I ignored it, but after a while I started complaining to Pat she either needs to replace what gets broken or start paying me to babysit since most times it’s last minute (like 10-20 minutes before Kay needs to be picked up which has been getting on my nerves as well since I have to rush to get me and my baby dressed) and it’s getting frustrating. Pair that w Kay constantly lying and stealing (toys, money, snacks) I couldn’t take it anymore. To be clear she can have snacks but I personally control how much sugar she has. If she wants an apple sure, if she’s on her 2nd candy bar we gotta talk. But Kay would go into my bedroom and open something I have and try to hide or lie about it. Pat always laughs it off and says Kay is just a kid and whatever excuse. I think it’s messed up. Kay never messes up or loses the toys she brings over. And at her house she’s always very careful and polite. I gentle parent so idk if Kay thinks she can get away w whatever cuz she knows I won’t yell or spank but it’s been frustrating me so much. I’ve tried talking to her or asking how she would feel if someone messed up her stuff but she puts on puppy eyes says sorry and is right back at it shortly after. I’m not struggling, but I’m not rich either and I do what I can to give my daughter what she has. After the last time (Kay broke a toy shelf my friend made for my baby) I told Pat she was no longer welcome in my house until she can behave better. Now my family is calling me out saying I turned my back on my family but I’m just tired of it. 8 is more than old enough to know better. I’m setting boundaries and holding firm. AITA? | AITA for not wanting my niece at my house anymore? | NTA |
110drvo | I (29M) am a super social guy at work. We used to have a really cold, unwelcoming office and my team (4 of us altogether) we're brought on to improve morale so I'm not saying that to brag, it's literally part of my job description - organising events, fielding complaints and relationship dynamics, just generally making sure everyone is comfortable and happy.I'd like to say I'm pretty darn well liked and haven't seen any evidence to the contrary yet and this has spilled over into my life in general and I'm one of those "always smiling" types overall.Reason I said this is because my colleagues have recently asked if I have a problem with our newest starter (31F). She works in sales and is a little quiet (most likely because she's new) but ostensibly nice from what I hear. I've not got anything against her personally per se but she's allegedly mentioned to my team, but not me, that she doesn't get invited to outside of work events (non official functions, parties, dinners etc. She's looped into all official events ofc) or invited out to lunch at all and spends a lot of time alone in and around the office.I admit to giving her a wide berth but that is just because during her first week before we'd been introduced, I was getting onto the elevator and noticed someone had dropped a key card in the lobby, I recognised her face and approached her at her desk when I got to our floor, she looked apprehensive about me approaching so I slapped on a smile and went to speak. I just got out an "excuse me but I think--" before she interrupted with what sounded like a pre prepared speech about how she wants to keep work and personal life separate and didn't wish to engage unless it was work related. I didn't say anything and just placed her card on her desk and left it at that.She approached me at lunch that day to apologise and said she thought I was asking her out, but did so in front of a crowd of people to whom I then had to explain myself. Overall she made me uncomfortable and feel guilty for being friendly, so I tend to follow her rules and only send her emails in group threads.But seeing as I'm something of a social hub in/outside of work, this had apparently had a knock on effect of others kind of distancing themselves too.So, AITA for following her ROE?P.S. I have a partner of 4y who works with us in a different department. | AITA for being "cold" to a newish coworker? | NTA |
1106suw | I (30ishF) have had a rocky relationship with my mom for pretty much as long as I can remember. I grew up being constantly criticized.My parents raised me in a church that became cult-like over time (women expected to be subservient; anyone who left was shunned; etc.). When I was 17, my parents left. I was in an arranged relationship with a man several years older than me there at the time (due to the structure of our religion, my parents were very involved and had to sign off on the relationship), and so I stayed. It ended up being an abusive relationship and a traumatic experience.I eventually got out, got healthy, developed my own life. I’ve gone to counseling and set boundaries with my parents over various things like “you will not speak cruelly to me” and “you will not physically threaten me.”Recently I saw my mom. She has often complained that I never share anything about my life with her. Our conversation was going well, so I decided to broach that this past year I’d had the opportunity to meet with people from that old church, including the ex, and they’ve owned this behavior and sought to make things right. It’s been very healing.My mom barely let me get a word out before she accused me of gossiping. After a few minutes of derision from her, I stood up to leave, and she said, “[OP] always walks away!” Then she said, “And you’ve never once asked me about what I’ve gone through!”This is where I lost my head and might be TA. “I wish you would just be the f***ing parent and not expect me to do it for you,” I said, and then I left.I don’t know what to do when things blow up with her like this. I usually end up saying something I regret. So AITA? | AITA for telling my mom to be the f****ing parent? | NTA |
110bxtb | Alright so I've always assumed I've had a good relationship with my *adopted* parents and siblings and haven't really had any problems with them until this. So I(F20) was told about my sister's birthday that was happening and my adopted parents asked if I was going to be attending. I told them that since it was after work I could just swing by after my shift. I asked if there was anything that I needed to bring or if there was a specific dress code for the party as I probably wouldn't have time to change out of my work clothes. They told me there was no dress code but asked if I would be willing to get the food for the event especially since I work at Zaxby's and they offer party packs and everything so I'd be able to do that and get a discount. I told them sure there wouldn't be a problem with that, but if I could get some assistance with payment as it still would be around $600. They agreed that they'd pay me back part of the cost. So come to the night of the party I show up and bring the food into the party and basically for the rest of the night I get treated as a caterer instead of a party guest, even by my parents and my sister which frankly made me slightly irritated as I didn't really get to enjoy the party at all. So after the party I pulled my sister off to the side and I handed her a bill. She looked confused as it was the full bill for everything that I had gotten. I told her that since I didn't get to enjoy the party and was delegated to working it then I'm not going to work for free, even for family after I had expected to be a guest, I didn't even get to have any of the food. This got us into a pretty heated argument where my sister was saying that I was ruining her birthday and that it was an asshole move to charge for the entire bill after I had agreed to bring food for the party. I said that it was an asshole move to treat me as if I was working the party and that the bill stands. The argument continued on for a little bit before I left after telling her that I better get payment. But now I'm wondering if it was a little harsh and if I am being an AH.Edit: since it seems to be a common question of why I went to my sister let me explain my parents had left earlier than when the party ended and I didn't realize it at the time. I felt comfortable giving my sister the bill because she also treated me as a caterer and not a guest. I don't think that it can excuse if I'm an AH or not but since people keep asking I'll give an answer. | AITA for insisting my family pay me? | NTA |
10zygjb | I've been in online classes for over 2 years but have finally reached the end of the semester and had my final presentation last week. Every class I've asked multiple times for people (my husband, kids, parents or visitors) to stay out of my room while I'm in class because due to the professional and graduate level of courses, the professors ask that we maintain a certain decorum for classes. No one seems to have an issue with that besides my husband. If he forgot something in the room he'll just waltz right in even if my camera is on or I'm off mute to speak, etc. It got to the point that I started locking the bedroom door and my mother has even posted signs on my door for me ("presentation in progress, please do not disturb"). To top this all off, it is well documented and he knows that I suffer from major anxiety that's also triggered by a tachycardia disorder I have (I'm on heart meds and everything), so someone just coming in the room has the potential to completely derail me. So last week I'm making the final and most important presentation of my graduate career, I have the door locked, I gave everyone 2 hours notice before class to come in and get anything needed, etc and my husband came down, unlocked the door from the outside and strolled right in to get everything he needed (opening doors, closing cabinets, etc making noise), etc. I did the best I could with it in the moment and finished out the class. After class, I was burning with the rage of 1000 suns. My husband could tell I was upset and asked what I was mad about. I was seeing red so I went out of my way to control myself and speak in the calmest and most respectful way I could, literally in therapy type phrases saying things like "the way you disregarded my requests made me feel completely disregarded and disrespected". I was absolutely shocked at my ability to speak calmly because I knew if I didn't, I would say something so vile instead that I might not be able to recover from. Instead of apologizing to me or talking it out, he said that my requests and expectations are completely unrealistic and I make a big deal out of everything. He even spun it around on me and said "well, what you're saying is you didn't want me to take the kids to the park since I needed stuff in there". That statement doesn't even compute to me. How does not being allowed in a room equate to me saying not to take care of the kids? Nothing he needed for the kids was in there whatsoever. He instantly spun it to become the victim. When I tried reasoning that literally half this country is doing work, school, etc from home and their families respect their work space he simply walked away from me and refused to speak the rest of the day.TL/DR: I locked my bedroom door for class and then told husband I felt disrespected because he ignored my request to stay out of the room while doing zoom class for grad school and unlocked the door and came in anyway. | AITA for locking the door and asking people to stay out of the room while I'm in zoom meetings? | NTA |
110ai6f | Me (17m) and my aunt (40f) have never had a good relationship. She didn’t want my mom to have me, after a lot of issues she did have me, long story short. She’s never liked me. She didn’t want me vaccinated, and my mom did anyways- because she’s my AUNT and not my mother- and it just added insult to injury. I got diagnosed with autism when I was 10, and ever since then she’s blamed my mom not getting me vaccinated and saying god hadn’t wanted me born anyway. She’s psycho. She used to tell me about how my mom tried to abort me. Anyway she came over for my moms birthday yesterday. And my mom wanted me to spend it with her, but my aunt kind of followed us the whole time. She made me very uncomfortable. When I’m uncomfortable I do something that really annoys her. I can’t help it. I hum the Indiana Jones theme over and over, you know the part. And I’ll flick my wrists/fingers. We stopped at a raising canines because my mom wanted some for dinner, and my aunt wouldn’t stop staring at me. She made fun of how I ate. So I started humming and I kept my hands under the table. I was quiet. I know I was. I was bouncing my leg and it kind of made the table shake. My aunt got super angry for no reason. She said i was being embarrassing, and that this is why she could never get along with me. My mom asked her what she meant, and my aunt said ‘uh… idk, like THAT,’ and my mom said ‘what, because he’s acting uncomfortable?’ My aunt got embarrassed and started saying how I only started acting like this after getting vaccinated? And I was putting on a show to get drugs???? I still don’t know what she meant. My mom again asked what she meant, and my aunt said that autism isn’t real and the government something-something. My mom said she needed to find a ride home because she was being an ahole, and my aunt said i was the ahole, and I was only acting ‘so r-worded’ because she was around. She said my mom should have tried again after the first abortion failed and everyone was staring it seemed it was so freaking embarrassing. My mom told me to come on and go to the car, and my aunt started saying that she needed a ride home, and her boyfriend was at work and couldn’t pick her up. My mom told her tough luck, and we left, but idk. I feel like a jerk. Idk why. I feel like maybe I should have just pretended to be normal while she was around. Like I know i can make people uncomfortable but I didn’t think I was being that weird. It’s freaking Indiana jones, who cares???I guess I just need some help righting this in my head. If I’m wrong I’ll apologise but idk. It’s Indiana jones. | AITA for acting… so…. autistic?? | NTA |
110azbl | I (21F) have been babysitting my nieces for absolutely ages, since the youngest was 2 and they’re 7 and 9 now.I’ve always babysat for free, although I’ve been told several times “it’s not babysitting it’s looking after your nieces”During secondary school I was pretty depressed, I didn’t do well in my GCSES and figured I’d end up working a dead end job I wouldn’t be happy in and overall had no actual motivation, which meant it was no problem when she’d ask me to babysit last minute/overnight/sometimes 3-5 days, and then I took a childcare course, currently I only have a L2 in childcare.I’d love to go university, even if I’m getting a little old, so I’m doing my level 3 through apprenticeship…I recently got a job, I’m really happy tbh. But then my mother, who works with my sister said one of their clients (they work in care for elderly) said my sister said she’d just ask me to ask my nursery to look after the girls during the school break (my nursery remains open) and I ignored it but then she said yesterday “if **OP** is getting a job then who’ll look after the kids?” I just feel between not being appreciated, and this client having to have heard **something** about this that obviously it’s seen as something I’m obligated to do? It could be innocent, but I’ve had to cancel doctor appointments/miss college to babysit.Sister insists that all she said was I was working now, but why even mention me? I was meant to babysit this weekend, WIBTA for cancelling? Part of me feels a little bad.Half of that information probably isn’t relevant, sorry. | WIBTA for refusing to babysit over a rumour? | NTA |
110b2sk | My SIL refused to attend our wedding because her religion means she does not “believe” in homosexuality. My wife and I have since had our beautiful son, with minimal involvement from my wife’s side of the family. My wife’s parents refuse to acknowledge him as their own.My SIL is getting married soon. She wants my son to be the ring bearer “because it would be so cute”. She didn’t show up to our wedding or acknowledge it, instead using those months before/after to tell us we were going to hell for our “lifestyle choices”My wife is expecting I show up to the wedding and that I let my son be a part of the wedding party because she wants me to keep the peace. I want to tell my SIL to fuck off. If she wants my son to be a part of the wedding party, I expect an apology for hurting my wife by not showing up to our wedding and to acknowledge our relationship and our family as being legitimate.My wife wants to maintain her relationship with her family and is willing to tolerate discrimination. I am not. I’m being told I’m an asshole for expecting people to go against their religious beliefs, but I think they are hurting my wife and using our child and disrespecting me.Am I the asshole for refusing to let this happen and refusing to go to the wedding because they would not show to ours?Edited for spelling errors | AITA for refusing to participate in my SILs wedding | NTA |
110cngr | I have been married to Mira for 3 years and we just had our son together a few weeks ago. Around this time my ILs, but even Mira to a point, have become very interested in me reconciling with my mom and having my sister and I be closer (we still talk, just not a lot).BG: When I was 16 I caught my mom cheating on my dad. She and the guy were in our house, in my dad's office, and nobody else was meant to be home (school finished early). Mom tried getting me to hide it from dad. She attempted to be overly loving and told me it would destroy the family. She also attempted to do the firm parent thing of this is not your business. Dad realized something was wrong that night and we talked. The next day he took a day off work and when my sister and I went to school they had it out and dad kicked mom out of the house. The whole thing rocked my sister. She wanted to know what happened and why we couldn't be a family anymore. Mom moved in with the affair partner. My sister couldn't figure out why I hated mom. Mom insisted we come see her new house and I refused to talk until all the anger boiled over and I told her that I hated her, that I never wanted to see her cheating face again. She told me she was my mom and that I couldn't stay mad at her. I told her she was dead to me. That cheating was one thing, but to try and force me to stay silent, to try and make me keep her nasty secrets. I told her she was nasty, disgusting, that I didn't want to look at her. I was so mad. Mom did sort of admit to multiple affairs when she tried to use the "I was always a good mom line" and admitted to being distracted by others at times instead of being a mom to us.My sister and I ended up with a strained relationship because I refused to have a relationship with mom for her and she refused to accept that what mom did had involved me, the second she told me to lie for her and even when she wasn't a good mom to us being distracted by other guys.I haven't seen my mom in 12 years. My sister and I see and talk to each other, but it's like distant cousins who see each other once every few years and not siblings.Neither were at my wedding. I didn't invite mom. My sister wouldn't come because I told her she couldn't bring mom.It bothers my ILs and they wanted me to reconcile so my son could have a healthy and whole family. They tried to claim that 12 years was long enough to leave the past where it is. Mina, my wife, added that she'd like our son to be around his grandmother and to not grow up seeing his dad hate her. Or at the very least for my sister and I to be as close as we once were. I told her we'd talk about it later and I told her family that it was not something that and I needed to talk about. They told me they disagreed and I said they had no right interfering in my life. They took offence to this. They said they were thinking of their daughter and grandson and I was rude.AITA for saying what I said to them? | AITA for telling my ILs that they have no right to interfere in my life? | NTA |
10zzg2x | So my husband and I started working on getting debt free a few months ago. The debt is not extreme and we expect to fully pay it by the end of this year. We keep a pretty much comfortable lifestyle but we have to manage our finances more wisely.Yesterday, my husband tripped over a power cord and knocked a glass of water over his gaming laptop. It is dead now and the cost of repair will be ridiculous. Husband wants to buy a new laptop right now. I reminded we are currently limiting all luxury expenses and I believe a new laptop just for games counts as one. He doesn't have any other computer related hobbies, just games. He has a separate work laptop provided by his company. He could browse most of the internet from his phone and even if he wants to do something desktop specific he could use my small laptop I use like once a week. It won't be able to handle any games though.So I listed all of the above to him but he's saying I want to make him miserable for a year for no reason. He also said that I'm being salty because most of *my* shopping expenses are cut now (jewelry, handbags, etc). I said, isn't that, like, the entire point of saving money? I don't buy extra shit, you don't buy it either. But he insists he *can't* live without laptop and I *can* live without a new handbag. Like having a laptop is as important to him as having a phone. Yeah I would consider buying a new phone an emergency in case the old one is lost or broken, but NOT a new hot flagship phone for all the money in the world. Just a decent one.This whole thing feels unfair to me but he says I'm the one being selfish and spiteful.And just to be clear I don't control his finances so technically he could go and buy the laptop. It would not throw us into poverty and I would not like file for divorce over it. But I would be very veeeerryyy mad. AITA?EDIT: Thank y'all for your perspective. I guess the cost of that unexpected expense sent me into a panic mode and blinded me a bit. Hubs is asleep, I'll talk to him in the morning. I think we could buy a new laptop with 2 conditions:1. Better cable management2. No drinks around the new laptop (and preferably no food either).This is gonna delay the debt repayment for approximately 6 months but it's doable. | AITA for telling my husband we can't buy a new laptop until we are debt free? | NTA |
11024c8 | I’m in College Chemistry I this semester, and it’s a lot harder for me than I expected. I also have ADHD that I manage pretty well, such as sitting up front to help me pay attention, avoiding distractions, etc. There are a couple of girls who like to whisper during lecture, but I’ve learned to tune them out. Yesterday, they began they’re whispering again. Eventually, the whisper turned into a low talking voice, along with another two girls whispering not far beside me. I couldn’t pay attention, especially because I couldn’t hear the professor at this point. I looked over a few times and one made eye contact, but never stopped. I didn’t know how to confront them or if I even should, so I grabbed my stuff, got up and moved to the other side of the room. The professor asked them to stop and carried on. I was able to pay attention to the rest of the lecture, but I calmed down and felt so embarrassed and felt really terrible. I apologized to the professor afterward for the disruption, and he told me he was glad I alerted him to the situation and that I can return to my seat if I want, but I requested to remain where I moved which he said was fine. I still feel like an ass, and I wonder if he thinks I’m an ass for doing that. | AITA for getting up and moving in the middle of class? | NTA |
110bqvg | i was living with my brother. his girlfriend moved in a couple of years ago. together they have just bought a house and i'm staying with them for the time being.now, at the apartment her mom would stop by once a week for an hour or so. no big deal. since we've moved into the house her mom has been here every day for long periods. even so far as to leave and come back on some days.i don't dislike the woman. we chit chat and so on. but i don't want another person just showing up every day. i brought it up to the girlfriend today. she seemed kinda pissed but said it was a new house kinda thing but i've got a bad feeling that if i don't wrangle this now it's gonna get out of hand.am i a dick?​edit: i'm not staying rent free. we're all paying 1/3rd. it's exactly the same arrangement as we had before except instead of her living in mine and my brother's apartment i'm living in their house. | AITA if i don't want my brother's girlfriend's mom over all the time? | YTA |
1102odc | So my daughter dropped a phone into the toilet and my wife immediately took the phone out of the case and put it in rice.In the past I told her the rice hack is a myth, but she believes and now I don't bring it up anymore. However when I saw she put the phone into our pantry rice I asked why she needed so much for a phone. We have to throw it all out now.She said it's okay, when we cook it, the germs will be dead. When I explained all the ways that doesn't work, she got mad and said I can buy my own rice, because I was insulting her native culture. Oh...She didn't talk to me for 45 minutes then we argued again and she threw all the toilet rice out. I thanked her, hugged and took out the trash.When I come back she's filling the old contaminated container with new rice. Rather than argue, I'm going to throw out the new rice and clean the container myself and refill, if we have any left in the bag. | AITA for not wanting to eat toilet rice? | NTA |
110dyp8 | My mum started making her own bread at the start of lockdown. Its not good; crust is chewy, bread is dense, tastes dense somehow, falls apart both when trying to slice, and when consuming. She started doing it because its "healthier and cheaper". My mum stopped buying bread, and I have had to effectively cut bread out of my diet. I had to start bringing wraps to school, because her bread eventually made me feel sick.But my mum still believes that its amazing becuase her friends say that its nice, when they had it, once every few months, but they don't have to eat it every day.A year ago I started eating muesli for breakfast, instead of cereal. Not for any specific reason, I just liked it. (Although its healthier and cheaper than cereal.)My mum decided that it was too unhealthy and expensive, and made her own, following a recipe. It tastes like horse food, because she left out the sugar that the recipe told her to add. I recently told my mum that I hated her bread,in response to "why don't you have some toast."She was offended, and rightly so, and said "After all my effort." She has a bread machine. It does 90% of the work. She has managed to cut something a simple as bread out of my diet, and ruined my breakfasts.AITA for offending her baking. | AITA for telling my mum to stop making stuff. | NTA |
10zxqa2 | I’ve been a long time follower of this sub, but this is my first post. Some background: I (38m) am from a European country. We have three levels of High school and college. They essentially come down to: Junior college, Community college and University. If you do well in community college and pass all your courses in your first year you can be admitted to University. Which is what happened to me. I started in the second level of high school, worked my ass off during community college and then got into university. Now college is very cheap in my country, so I did two bachelors. Did both of them with honors and averaged at about an 8.0. Did two internships, a masters and got myself a great job. I now make about 150k a year, my wife (34f) makes about 100k. A few years ago we also inherited a large chunk of money (millions) after her mother passed. My sister (36f) did Junior College, then got into community college but dropped out because she wanted to commit to her part-time job. She makes about 35k now, her husband (38m) about 30k. Now this is a great middle class income in my country. However, my sisters does not and has never thought in middle class terms. When she was 21 she sacrificed half her savings (about 10k) to buy a Chanel bag. They also had to postpone buying a house as my sister needed to go to New York, Miami and Los Angeles during her summer holiday a decade ago. Which cost them most of their savings. Now here’s the issue, my wife and I live about an hour away from my hometown. Our eldest child is about to turn four and will have to start school. The schools in our region are “mweh”, the one in my hometown is pretty great. My mom is a teacher there too, so my child could see his grandmother a lot more too. Which both my wife and I think is important. We’ve been looking for houses for a while, but until now haven’t been able to find any in our price range. Recently a great property came on the market. It’s an absolutely beautiful house, with a great yard for the kids. The family absolutely loves it, we already had a tour and have already discussed finances with the bank.When I went to show it to my parents and sister during our monthly family get together my sister went white as a sheet and bursted out “you can’t buy that house”. She told me that that had been her dream home forever, and that whenever we passed by she pointed to it and said “I will live in that house one day” (this is nearly two decades ago). I remembered, she was right, she did that. Here’s the deal though, I would not buy it if she was seriously interested. She is not, it is a dream and that’s it. A mere fantasy. The mortgage after a 10% down payment is about twice her husband and her salary combined before taxes. My parents have chosen my sister’s side, saying I can’t possibly buy this house as it is her ‘dream’. WIBTA if I did buy it? | WIBTA for buying my sisters ‘dream house’? | NTA |
1103hhi | We recently moved to the city and the public school there is awful, so we sent our two daughters (Apricity and Garnet) to a private school. Garnet is in 6th grade. There is a uniform and the school is strict about it. You can wear 4 different variations, uniform one (long skirt and blouse thing) uniform two (romper with button down and high socks), uniform three (pants, button down, and tie), and uniform three (shorts, polo shirt). All these are in the school colors.Usually, the female students would wear uniforms one or two and the male students would wear uniforms three or four. When we toured the school we saw some of the girls wearing the "male" uniform. It's not a big deal in the school, you just need to wear one variation of the uniform. Garnet likes to wear the romper but it's cold, and it doesn't have the best coverage for her legs so she comes home freezing. She hates the long skirt but will wear it and her jacket goes to her knees but that doesn't help to wait for the bus for 10 to 20 minutes or recess if she chooses to go out.It's gotten colder (a freeze in our state, which is rare) to the point where I'm not sending her out in the romper its too short for this weather. So she has been going to school in the long skirt one. I got a call from the school yesterday and she had a cold. I pick her up and her skirt was rolled up past her knee. She has been doing the whole week during the freeze. It's supposed to get colder next week.I told her today until the weather is nicer, she will be wearing the long pants uniform since she isn't staying warm. That she got sick because she decided to freeze. This turned into an argument and she is upset I'm forcing her to wear the "male" uniform. I talked to my husband and he said I'm being an ass and that if she wants to freeze then let her freeze.Edit: I guess I'll let her wear what she wants (most likely she will pick the romper) and she will freeze. It will be a first-hand learning opportunity for her to dress for the weather. Natural consequences, dress in the romper she will freeze. | AITA for forcing my daughter to wear the "male" uniform | YTA |
110bpea | Throwaway for obvious reasons, I'm on mobile so ignore mistakes please. I (20F) have been working at a small start up my dad owns since I was 17, there are two separate departments of about 6 people each. My boss (38M who i will call Lary) got hired 6 months ago to manage my department that mostly handles customer service and filing, while my dad (50M) manages the other which handles delivery and all the other hands on work. The first few months Lary started working with us, he was pretty okay. He didn't need much training or introduction and was able to do his job pretty well. Cue last month when we got a large project, it was something a bit out of our range of work but Dad said he'd pick up the slack with his team and all we had to do was normal procedure. We ended up being swamped with work, I remember most nights my dad and I would stay overnight to make sure things were caught up by the deadline. Now, one of the people on my team, who I'll call Susie, is kind of a doormat. She often lets people push things onto her and does things to please others even when she doesn't have to. two weeks ago Susie came to me crying, saying she was working so much her hair was falling out and she couldn't take it anymore. This shocked me as we all should've had an even workload, save for Lary, who managed on top of his load. Susie then confided in me that Lary had been hitting on her constantly since being hired. Every time she'd turn him down, he'd stack all of his work onto her, threatening he'd have her take the fall for our department not meeting deadlines if she disagreed. Now this might be there I was TA, Instead of going to my dad about this, I went straight Lary. I began berating him, calling him names I can't repeat here. I ended it by calling him a deadweight to the company and a pathetic power-hungry pervert. My dad had me take a couple days off as he settled the issue at the company. I thought I did nothing wrong but a couple of my male coworkers said I went too far blowing up at him in front of everyone and my dad said that while he understood my frustration, it wasn't professional for a workplace and I cant act like that again without punishment and now I think I took it too far.So reddit, AITA? | AITA for calling my manger a pathetic power-hungry pervert in front of the whole office? | NTA |
10zwlrs | My (35M) wife and I took our kids for dinner at the local pub/restaurant tonight with another family. I took my son (3) to the toilet around 6:45 to deal with a bit of a poo emergency.While my son and I were in the cubicle two guys (20s, a little bit drunk but not out of control) came in and were waiting to use the toilet. I was dealing with the situation as quickly as someone dealing with a shit covered 3 year old can, but they were obviously impatient.My son is very very talkative and loud and likes to narrate so there was lots of “there’s more poo coming” and “there’s poo everywhere daddy” and the like. The guys outside found this hilarious (and I recognise that it is objectively funny) but then they started responding to him (“ooh is it a big poo”) which I could really have done without. I opened the cubicle door and asked if they could wait outside while I dealt with this. The lead guy looked at me for a long time and said “no, I’ll stay right here”.They kept responding to my son every time he spoke and after a few minutes I asked them firmly to go away and leave me and my son alone. They again refused and said “you need to calm down” and “life is supposed to be fun why are you so uptight”.I decided to get the hell out of there so abandoned the cleanup mission, stuffed my shit-smeared child back into his clothes and left.I then asked to speak to the manager, explained what had happened and he asked their whole group to leave.I genuinely can’t decide whether I was the asshole here. On the one hand, I was super stressed and I didn’t react perfectly (I should have just ignored them) but on the other hand I think “please stop talking to my naked child and give us some space” is just the sort of thing you comply with without much arguing.AITA?Edit 1: they weren’t drunk drunk, they were probably 3-4 pints in. | AITA for getting two guys thrown out of the pub after they wouldn’t leave me alone in the toilet | NTA |
110bqiv | Our family was at a mini golf place enjoying ourselves. It was my husband and myself, plus our two young kids - 5 and 2. It wasn’t a particularly busy night but there were a few parties spread out throughout the various holes on the course. We noticed there was a large group that seemed to be creating some commotion nearby (3-4 kids around ages 7-9 plus probably 3 sets of parents). The kids were running between various holes with their putters and golf balls, jumping into the middle as people were playing, hitting other people’s balls - just generally being rude and unruly. The parents were just nonchalantly walking along and chatting, and not saying anything to the kids as this was happening. Somewhere halfway through the course, these kids came up to where we were putting and just ran onto our hole as we were in the middle of our turn. I firmly told one of the kids, hey, you can’t do that, please wait your turn - we are finishing up. He kinda shrugged and they ran off to go hit their ball in another hole. This continued but they left us alone until the last hole, where the kids in that group ran back and just started grabbing our golf balls, screaming, and walking all over the final hole while we were playing. I saw one of the fathers in that group nearby and I (sort of annoyed at this point) told him to get a handle on his kids since they’re being super disruptive to other people. For some reason he took a lot of offense and replied “can’t you hear I’m telling them not to do it” (actually I heard none of that - the parents were just in conversation in their own world). And he also said that “this is a kids place, everyone is having fun”. Umm no, it’s a mini golf course and I’m no stickler for golf etiquette but your kids are literally just trampling everywhere as people are playing, with no regard for anyone else. I kind of snapped at him and told him his kids shouldn’t be jumping into other peoples turns, and ruining the game for others and that there’s rules on how to act on a mini golf course. He eventually walked away with his family and muttered something snarky under his breath as he was going to a different part of the course. It was hole 18 for us so we just left afterward but in the car ride home, I was wondering if I should have just left well enough alone and not said anything to the parent (it honestly accomplished nothing). A couple of the parties nearby were looking my way as I was having words with this parent, which made me think maybe I overreacted. Anyways, AITA? | AITA for yelling at the parents of kids who were being disruptive at mini golf? | NTA |
1101hzx | My wife is pregnant, due end of Feb. My mom lives in another state (FL), we told her very early so she had ample time to plan. A month ago she drops the info that she’s scheduled visitors to her house for 90% of the month of March and can only come 3/1-3/4, when my wife will still be in hospital or just coming home. At first I say it won’t work, but a week later she calls and strongly pressures us into saying it’s ok. Fast forward 2 days ago, hospital trips becoming more regular, baby might be coming early, I’m updating her and she says oh FYI your brother is coming with to help when I visit. I’m livid that she would put my wife in this position right after coming home, but I say in the tamest possible way, “it would have been nice if you asked us and didn’t invite him to our house with no notice during a time like that.” This starts a whole rabbit hole—my mom is arguably a clinical narcissist, so she never says anything to the effect of I’m sorry, or that probably wasn’t the best approach. She goes OFF on how I’m ungrateful, I have a warped perception of reality, etc. Despite me explicitly saying several times throughout the exchange that I do not want her to cancel, I just want more consideration for my wife, it ends with her cancelling the trip altogether. I know this is something she will deeply regret which is why I tried strongly to say do not cancel, but I know that due to her narcissism the only way she will decide to come now is some massive apology which I don’t feel is warranted, and I’ve reached a point in my life I’m not willing to continue catering to her issues at my family’s expense. AITA? | AITA for not sucking up to my mom | NTA |
110efqe | I'm 33F and since getting my first pay cheque at 18, have always given a large chunk of it to my mum. She's a single mum who doesn't work and although I haven't always been consistent with giving her money it has been a regular thing throughout these years. The problem starts now because I'm living abroad and am at the point where I just want to leave and start fresh somewhere new. So for that I have to save and so I'm thinking not to give my mum anymore money, when she heard I was receiving a bonus through my brother she messaged me lot asking for money and saying she needed it for heating and vet bills which fine I'm happy to pay for this. Skip forward a few weeks later j found out she has spent that money on leaflets her and friends enjoy distributing on the streets and then a big lunch for some of my other family.I feel pissed off because not only am i the oldest child but I'm the only child currently employed and although it is in my mums culture that the children support her in adult life, I feel like I won't ever get to save properly nor did I really get that opportunity since I compare myself to everyone else who seems to get GIVEN money by their parents and yet here I am the other way round. I'm considering to tell her I won't be giving money going forward but am worried the whole family will kick off and think I'm the AH.EDIT: thank you everyone genuinely thank you for helping me be sure of my decision and to learn to put boundaries up. It is my life after all and after some reflecting I've realised I've been too soft and empathetic to the detriment of myself and I'm totally done. I'm going to start saving for myself and won't be giving handouts so easily even if I'm the only one working in my family everyone is right I'm.not responsible anymore I'm bloody 33 and think I deserve a future of my own | AITA for not wanting to give any more money to my mum? | NTA |
10zxq4c | When I first met my stepchildren, I fell in love and devoted all my time, energy and money to them. We had them every weekend and we built a great relationship, or so I thought. I never tried to be a parent, never disciplined or told them what to do and left all that to Dad. They became involved in my family events, I arranged days outs/staycations and bought all their birthday/Christmas gifts. I helped with homework and cooked all their favourite meals. When I unexpectedly came into a little money, I took them to Disneyland. I don’t know what more I could have done. Periodically over the years, the girls would refuse to come to us and we were never told why but their Mum said we just had to ‘respect their feelings’. We never got to the bottom of it but they always came back round for a birthday/holiday or when their mum needed a ‘break’. After 5 years out of the blue, their Mum said they aren’t coming round because they don’t like me, they never have, I treat their Dad badly and they don’t want to see it. Apparently we argue all the time and I expect their Dad to do all the housework and childcare for our 3 young boys. I was floored. This is just the opposite of our family life. My husband and I are a team, we NEVER argue in front of the kids as my stepchildren were pretty traumatised by the arguing they saw when their parents were together and it was the first rule of our house to never be like that and to protect them from any disagreements. No criticism on my husband but I also do 99% of the housework and cooking. Their Mum said we couldn’t discuss any of this with them and we stupidly listened. Funnily enough they didn’t mind being around me to come on my family’s two week vacation abroad and they came to that having not seen us for 3 months. I was so hurt but pushed it to the side and focused on having a great holiday with them and my wider family couldn’t have been more inclusive. But I’ve been walking on eggshells ever since. Now my husband needs to travel abroad for work and we decided to join him and make a holiday of it as my parents live there but we aren’t taking my stepchildren. We would if we could but the flights are three times the price during school holidays and I just want my parents to be able to spend some quality time with their grandchildren. It’s the first time we have ever gone away without my stepchildren (we even did a family holiday instead of a honeymoon) buts it’s taken me three years to save up for the flights and it would realistically take several more if we were taking them too. I have felt really bad about it because I don’t want them to feel excluded but surely it’s okay for me to do something for my children just this once? I’m honestly tired of making sacrifices for them when they speak behind my back and make me out to be something I’m not. It’s made the family life we worked so hard to create feel like a lie and tainted so many memories. AITA for going without them? | AITA for going on holiday without my stepchildren? | NTA |
110eg7b | My girlfriend (30F) and I (40M) have lived together about one year. I am introverted and keep my interests to myself, while she is excitable and talkative, and likes to gush about her interests. I listen politely, but I just don't care about most of the topics, and the chatter cuts into my quiet time. If I cut her off, she gets dejected and pouts. I explained it comes off as attention-seeking or attempting to impress me, and it helped her cut back on the extraneous details, but she still has her excited outbursts.Her newest (rediscovered) obsession is Minecraft. I've listened to her random tidbits, I even humored her when she asked my opinion on her "concept house in creative mode." Today while we were out with friends, she happily brought up her Minecraft progress. I teasingly (but honestly) said that at a certain age, Minecraft is a form of regression and shouldn't be shared so proudly and openly. She got quiet, the topic changed, but she had that dejected look the rest of the time.When we got home, she called me a jerk and said I ruined her excitement for the game. She complained that I'm always encouraging her to find new interests and always mocking her choices. I argued it wasn't mocking, it's a common opinion and I shouldn't be afraid to share my opinions with her. I told her I'm very close to never speaking to her again, if she continues to act like this. If her enjoyment is dependent on my opinion, she should just keep her interests to herself. AITA? | AITA for teasing my GF for talking about her hobbies? | YTA |
110e3lr | EDIT: I don’t think I emphasized the level of noise properly. It’s not a normal amount of apartment noise (I also have a condo in the US and I am both the upstairs and downstairs neighbor. My upstairs neighbor has kids and a dog - no problems there) After asking the dad this morning, it was noticeably quieter and calmer — of course, we continued to hear “regular” apartment noise, but not ceiling/fixture shaking noise. So it seems there is some level of control to the actions after the dad was made aware and tried. There’s a difference between asking someone to tiptoe and whisper and never drop a feather and to not allow your kid to partake in rambunctious activity first thing in the morning every morning. I live in a first floor apartment (not by choice, but necessity — here in Denmark, finding a place to rent is difficult and can take months and requires a 6-7 month deposit). Of course, ideally I would live in a detached home or on a top floor but that is simply not an option right now. Our upstairs neighbors have a toddler who is up around 7-730 daily and every morning and evening (and throughout the day) without fail, they let their child run/jump around. The stomping noises travel down into our home. Some context: I have severe anxiety and am sensitive to noise. I also work from home. My fiancé is currently recovering from 2 months of cancer treatment — so is more tired than usual, on lots of pain meds, and I get very protective of his comfort. For 6 weeks, we had to be up early for daily radiation treatments and never got the chance to just relax and sleep in on the weekends bc we are awakened by the commotion upstairs first thing in the morning. This morning, I went upstairs after being jarred out of my sleep a bit after 7 am. So I knocked several times before the door was answered. I was still half asleep, so don’t remember my exact words, but I said something along the lines of “we are being awakened every morning by noise coming from here. I am sure it’s not intentional, but the sound travels and sounds really loud from downstairs and wakes us up. Right now, my fiancé is recovering from cancer and I would appreciate it if you could try to keep it down”. I mentioned that I had spoken to his wife about it recently. I spoke with the wife about 6 weeks ago (similar language — I tried to make it clear that I didn’t think it was intentional but if they could try). She basically made excuses (there’s no running/jumping happening, it’s an old building, etc.) I said okay, I would appreciate it if you could try. In the meantime, nothing had changed, so I went up again this morning. So, AITA for asking my neighbors to try to keep their kid from making excessive noise in the mornings? | AITA for asking neighbors to be quieter in the morning? | NTA |
11098vd | I (25F) have a difficult relationship with my father. My mother passed away a couple of year ago and our relationship has only gotten worse. My father was always absent growing up, constantly at work. He didn’t spend a lot of time with me and when he did, he just talked about how I disappoint him. This is a bit odd since I rarely got in trouble, had straight A’s, didn’t date, and stayed in church. My mother and I were best friends and she praised me in all aspects of life. The complete opposite. Since my mother passed, my father’s anger toward me has grown and I don’t understand. He claims he’s not angry with me, he just “wants me to be best best I can be and not fail like my other siblings”. This hurt me because I love my siblings and I proud of them accomplishments. For Christmas, I purchased a $150 gold chain for my father (I am in school for my bachelors and pay for school out of pocket). I got other people’s opinion and it was highly recommended. I sent it in the mail and my father said he “didn’t want it because it is fake gold” and that he would not wear it. He did not thank me for the gift at all. I told him that it could be returned if he wanted and he returned it. Since then, he hasn’t been talking to me much. Was it wrong to return it and not get him another gift? I just feel like anything I got wouldn’t have been good enough. | AITA for returning my father's gift | NTA |
1100rlm | TLDR: I’ve a broken leg and I’m on crutches and my husband keeps soaking the downstairs bathroom floor. I’ve asked him to use our upstairs bathroom until I’ve recovered. And now he’s so angry at me I can’t believe I’m posting thisIt’s so ridiculous. So I (F40s) currently have a broken leg, and I’m in a leg cast and on crutches. I spend most of my day downstairs (working from home, managing the kids and house work etc). So I use our downstairs bathroom, as I find it pretty scary hopping or crawling upstairs on crutches unless 100% necessary. For some reason, every time my husband (M 40s) uses the downstairs bathroom, the floor is soaked and he doesn’t wipe it up after. I don’t know if it’s urine from bad aim, or back splash from washing his hands or what. But I’ve almost slipped a few times on my crutches and it’s so dangerous. I’ve repeatedly asked him to wipe the floor so I don’t slip. He doesn’t, he says he just “forgets” and he doesn’t know why it’s happening. I started just trying to wipe the floor with a towel before I go in, but I’ve nearly fallen a few times doing it - it’s hard to balance and wipe floors on crutches!After about the 10th time of nearly slipping, I asked him to please use the upstairs bathroom if he can’t dry the floor. Just for next couple month while I’m on crutches. He got so angry and told me it wasn’t a big deal and I just need to get better handling my crutches or go upstairs. This is just bizarre to me and totally outta character for him. AITA??*UPDATE*: Thanks for the responses. I made him sit down for an honest, kind, non-judgemental chat. This is all a new thing since I’m in crutches - not likes it’s been happening before. So - It’s water from OTT hand washing. I have some wounds and stitches from surgery and injury, and he’s terrified and disgusted by risk of infections. It’s all triggered some very old OCD stuff that he was too grossed out and embarrassed to say. He’s gonna just use upstairs bathroom til I’m recovered and link in with supports if needed. | AITA for asking my husband to use the upstairs bathroom? | NTA |
11057nl | Last night after going out with her friends, my (20m) girlfriend (20f) called me asking if I could come pick her up because she was too drunk. Since I was already there she asked me if I could give her friends a ride home too. I thought it was only fair if they reimburse me for gas money because it was a far ride there, back, and to each of their homes. So the next day when she was sober, I asked my girlfriend if she could ask her friends to pay me. My girlfriend got upset with me, and said I shouldn’t expect them to reimburse me because driving them home was the right thing to do. Yes it was the right thing to do, but gas is expensive and if I wasn’t there they would’ve just paid for Ubers anyways. So why can’t they pay me. AITA? | AITA for asking my girlfriend to ask her friends to pay me for driving them home | YTA |
1107bil | So, a backstory leading up to this: a few days ago my kids, 3&6 had a snow day. My husband also got the day off work due to the snow. He spent nearly the entire day on his laptop watching shows while the kids and I played. I was upset because I thought it could have been a great day to connect and make memories with them together. I guess I didn’t make that expectation known up front, and that’s on me, but this has been such a pattern. I don’t have anything against him getting time to himself to relax, but he should interact with them some and I should get that chance, too, right?My husband hardly interacts with them, especially over the past couple of years, and he never takes them anywhere on his own. He mostly just kisses them goodbye in the morning when he leaves for work, hi when he gets home, and goodnight before bed. He also seems to be much more harsh with our oldest than our youngest for some reason. I’ve told him over and over again he should make more of an effort to bond and play with them, because he gets upset when they strongly prefer me for everything over him. I am a SAHM and with them more, so that’s partly why, but still. Anyway, I wrote him a letter over a text last night telling him I was upset about the snow day and why. He didn’t read it until this morning and only sent back a thumbs up emoji. I didn’t send anything back after that because he was working and it felt pointless. Sometimes when we get in arguments, we text instead of talk so we can get our points across a little more clearly.So, this afternoon, while he was still at work, I took the kids to meet my MIL and the kids’ cousins at an indoor playground. My MIL couldn’t meet until the afternoon so that’s when we went, too. I left a note telling my husband where we were on our kitchen dry erase board so he’d see it when he got home.The kids were having a great time. My husband called me angrily, and said “so you’re still there?” I said, “yes.” And he huffed and was upset because he wouldn’t get to see the kids or tell them goodnight before he had to leave. (He leaves before dinner on Saturdays to go play D&D with his friends). He also said “and I would like to know where my kids are when I get home.” I told him about the note on the white board, and he said, “do you mean the board I have a 5% chance of seeing, that one?” (it’s on the fridge but he has ADHD and isn’t always observant). And that I should have sent him a message about it instead. And then hung up on me. I texted him back explaining that his mom couldn’t get together until the afternoon and I’m sorry that interferes with him leaving for D&D, but I didn’t deserve to be spoken to that way. To which he responded with another thumbs up emoji. If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m feeling really sad. He is still out at D&D. AITA for not having the kids here to see him? | AITA for being out with the kids when my husband got home from work? | NTA |
10zy0lr | Me (29F) and my fianće "J" (26M) recently welcomed our first child "V"(F). Last weekend we were invited to a family gathering from my future In- Laws ( His Dad, StrepMom and basically all of Js paternal family) for celebrating "the first child of the oldest son of the head of the family". If it matters, Js paternal family is from albania, very family orientatet and muslim. Till that evening, I have just met his Dad and SMom, wich are totally fine with me being an "christian- influenced- atheist"... and don't wearing an hijab.After the introduktion of V and me the conversation went downhill. At first someone said that V doesn't look the slightest like J, and that he should take an paternity test. He said that we, for the sake of the family, will take one, but he is sure that I would never cheat.Next his aunt asked when I will take over to Islam ( please forgive the stupid wording, I dont know how to say it otherwise) and start wearing my hijab. I said I dont plan to do so, and that we want to raise V with the intention that she could decide by herself what she wants to belive in. It would be mild to say that half of the family was p****d after that.J wanted to fix things by stating that I maybe change my mind after marriage (Nope) and that he could guide me... Says the guy who regulary eats - and drinks something non- halal and smokes.To hold things short , after some other questions in that manner the discussion escalates into something like " you b*th, dare you to live on j's expenses in his flat, not even doing all the housework). At this point I may turned to be TA, as I said that its actually my flat, that I pay for all our expenses and even for J's liabilities and his car, inklusive insurance and that a man who can't even wash some clothes, cook (at least for himself) or take the trash out isnt even an adult but a child himself. With this words I left (with our child of course), followed by an gobsmacked and angry J.He's still angry about the things I said, and my future SMIL texted me that I ruined the gathering and the reputation of my fianće and his father. I must admit that I maybe went to far with the declaration of our financial situation, but these hourlong accusations that Im likely an golddigger and J not defending me had turned an switch in my head. | AITA for embarassing my fianće in front of his family | NTA |
10zvecw | I (M28) recently got married to my now wife (F26). We had about 40 people there, and It was lovely.Now, the reason I didn't invite my sister Is mostly because of her attitude. She loves being better than people and berating others. Last time we were at a wedding for my cousin, she wore a white dress with white pearly earrings and white high heels. My cousin was so upset and after my sister got scolded, she was grinning.She has also worn white to funerals before, tried to steal the spotlight at multiple birthday's and has ruined reunions before.It has gotten so bad, even our immediate family has requested she stays home when we meet.Now that's out of the way. My wife Is really sensitive and Is the type to cry easily. The thought of her crying was enough to not invite my sister.My sister has also shown multiple times that she dislikes my wife.She has practically blow up my messages, and tried to guilt-trip me by telling me she's crying so much due to me breaking her trust.AITA? | AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding? | NTA |
10zz7yn | I 23f have been dating let’s call him John for 3 months now and I also have a sister 21f let’s call her Emily.John and Emily have only met once, but that’s because she doesn’t like him and she is away at college but only 2 states out so we see her every month or so. Emily says he feels scared around him. At this point I should mention Emily got out of an abusive relationship 4 months go but is doing really well.Our moms birthday is coming up and Emily was going to be at the party we are throwing. But when she heard that John was coming she said she wouldn’t be because of him. When John found out about this he felt really bad because he really likes my mom and Emily.My mom said that it was ether John or Emily and I had to choose. I chose John because I don’t think it’s fair to isolate John because Emily doesn’t like him and refuses to tell us why. Now my dad, mom and brother and our other sister think I am an asshole because my boyfriend is coming but not Emily and that Emily is family and he isn’t. But he was at Christmas. I don’t see what I did wrong, I was given a choice and I made it.Update: My other sister saw the post and got upset that I was posting something like this on the internet. She said the reason why Emily felt uncomfortable was that John was one of Emily’s abusive ex ‘s friends and the he had to of knew about the abuse in their relationship. I talked to John about it and he said the he never knew and that he doesn’t understand why he’s friends would do that and that he doesn’t believe Emily in that his friend would hurt a woman. I also saw that people didn’t like that I was given the choice to choose. My mom has high blood pressure and has been hospitalized because of that in the past and she doesn’t like arguments so something’s, like this make her blood pressure go up. so she had me choose. | AITA for choosing my boyfriend over my sister | YTA |
110cx9m | For the past six months, my partner (39m) has been exciting himself with the dangling carrot of going travelling at the end of the year (he likes the idea of backpacking around Asia and Eastern Europe. He never got to do much travelling when he was younger and first starting out in the finance industry. Now he’s a freelancer, so can pick and choose when and how he works.)He’s going HARD right now in saving and the thought of having that to look forward to with me made him happier than I’ve ever seen him.Now, the problem. I (32f) have just been diagnosed with uterine cancer after a routine smear identified suspicious cells. Aaaaand it’s spread to my kidney. Guess I should have gone to my checkup the first time they requested me to (go to your smears, anybody in the demographic of needing one! It’s more important than you realise), but finding windows in my work schedule (I’m an EMT. I know. I should have known better and been more in tune with my body but there’s a reason they say those in the medical industry make the worst patients) has been difficult.Here’s where I’m probably the asshole. I haven’t seen my mother since before covid due to the fact that she lives in Australia and I work in a high risk field. She has heart issues and I would never want to put her at risk of something that could cause so much damage to her. We FaceTime almost every day (only reason I bother with FB, to be honest) but it’s not enough. I’ve always been extremely close to my mother since I was adopted at 6, and at a time like this I really need her. My current contract with my work is due to expire in a few weeks, and I’m thinking of not renewing right now so I can go to Australia and spend a few months with her while I receive surgery and treatment (I have dual citizenship in Aus and Northern Ireland). Meaning the travelling likely won’t happen. Since my diagnosis, my partner has been distant to say the least. I think he realised as soon as I told him about the cancer that it would mean his dream was on hold yet again. He hasn’t come with me to any of my appointments, and can barely even ask me how they went. I don’t know what to do for the best. I was excited about going travelling, too. But even the thought of it at the moment is exhausting me.Would I be the asshole for asking him to hold off for a little while longer? Part of me feels like I’m holding him back, and is tempted to tell him to go on his own and evaluate our relationship while he has that freedom. | WIBTA for taking time off of work to visit my mum, rather than going away with my partner? | NTA |
110cj5f | I (27M) met this girl named Kat (27F) online in July of 2022. Everything started off great we would talk everyday. We even sent each other good morning and good night messages. The problem started around thanksgiving. Every year around thanksgiving my job (private airport) gets really busy until after the new year. So when I noticed that I was scheduled for six days straight of 10-12 hours every week. I told her that I wouldn’t have time to talk much. She said that she understood and just message her when I got the chance. And I did. It was great until the middle of December. I was working so much that all I did when I got home was shower, text her good night, then fall asleep. On my only day off that week she text me really mad saying “why don’t you text me more? You’re not giving me enough attention.” So I ensured her that whenever I got down time at work I would make sure to give her more attention especially with things slowing down. Now I’m responding faster and things are going well. Fast forward to February 5th 2023. I notice that I finally have the rare two days off I’ve been longing for since November. I message her a tell her that on Friday the 10th I’m turning off my phone and sleeping the entire day. So that’s what I did. Only waking up to fulfill my primal urges. I wake up February 11th to no less than 50 messages asking why I’m ignoring her and calling me all kinds of aholes. So AITA for taking one day to just have my phone off and sleep? | AITA for wanting to not be on my phone all the time. | NTA |
110elj0 | Hi! Firstly sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language! Some background: so me (f19) and my friend (f23) live about 7 hours away from each other and are both collectors of albums (this will be important information for the whole situation) Around beginning of December my friend asked me what I was doing during new years and the week after, I told her that I would be working New Year’s Eve and also had some shifts scheduled during the time period she asked about. She then proceeded to ask me if she would be able to come and celebrate new years with me and my family and I told her that I wouldn’t be able to remove any shifts and that I had told my work that those days that I’m working I could stay longer if needed (I work in retail and this season is always the busiest for us), she told me she was okay with that so I agreed. She started talking about going on a road trip and going places a bit further away so I was very clear that if any of that would happened she had to split diesel costs with me for those days. Diesel is expensive and I’m not able to cover everything on my own. She got unsure because she had gotten a low salary (she works a job where she’s deciding how much she works and how many shift she takes) but told me she would sell some stuff to afford it. She had almost half of my then collection at her place because she had offered months earlier to help me sell it. I never noticed anything while she was selling but she made about 120$ from selling stuff which in the end covered all of the diesel costs. She had asked if she could sell some of my stuff so that could cover my part of diesel if needed and I gave that an okay. When I, after she traveled back home, noticed that a part of my collection was missing while hers was fully intact I got suspicious. Turns out that the money she collected was only from my stuff never from hers. The thing is I’m always happy to help if I’m able to but she knew that I would have to put down almost 1000$ only on my car in January for repairs and new tires and that was the reason I was selling half of my collection. I got pissed and wrote to her asking why only my collection was sold and not hers and she told me no one was interested in hers…I snapped and told her she took my money and hid it so that she didn’t need to pay for diesel, she basically stole from me. She tried coming with excuses about how I used my car more (I only calculated the costs of the trips when she was in the car not when I drove to work) and how I was the only one spending money while away. I saw red and told her that I couldn’t trust her anymore and that she have to send back my stuff and that if I knew that she would pull a stunt like that I wouldn’t had allowed her to come in the first place.I feel like I was harsh on her as she brought up mental health and that I made more money than her but I still feel like I was betrayed as she knew how much I needed that money. So AITA? | AITA for snapping at my friend after she lied to me of where her money came from? | NTA |
110e9dg | I have been struggling with severe health anxiety off and on for nearly two years now. I've been making a lot of progress over the last few months, but these past two weeks, I've been extremely anxious and have fallen back into some of my old compulsive behaviors (checking my heart rate and blood pressure, asking for reassurance, and even going to the emergency room--more on that in a bit).Recently, when I tell my boyfriend I'm feeling particularly anxious, he'll just say "oh no" or "everything is fine" and then immediately go back to whatever he's doing, usually playing video games or doing something on his phone. I've told him that sometimes this bothers me, and would like a little more support or not to feel like I'm competing with a video game for his attention, and he thinks this is an unfair assessment, and that there's not much more he can really do for me other than reassure me.I recognize his point. The whole idea of anxiety is that it is mostly immune to reassurance. I also recognize that I can be a lot. Between panic attacks and thinking I'm going to die on a nightly basis, my need for reassurance can sometimes be great. That said, is it unreasonable for me to maybe want him to put down the controller every so often and actually talk me? He knows that I'm usually able to calm down if I just work through things.Being alone is a huge trigger for me because I fear dying suddenly with no one around to witness and call emergency services. The other night, I had a very, very bad panic attack about this (heart rate was jumping from the 40s to the 120s back to the 40s, breathing was impossible, chest pain was crushing and consistent--I, of course, thought I was going to die).My boyfriend was asleep and had work the next day and so as much as I wanted to wake him for help, I knew it was probably anxiety and him getting some sleep was more important.I did, however, need the panic attack to end and even though I knew it was probably anxiety, I also thought I was genuinely going to die (for those of you who don't suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, I know that doesn't make sense, but these things can really warp your reality). So, I called 911 to take me to the ER (probably should've Ubered, I know) where I knew I could calm down.When I told him about it the next day, the first thing he did was yell, "what is wrong with you?" He then proceeded to say that I know nothing is wrong with me so it makes no sense that I would call 911. His tone was very, very exasperated, bordering anger, and then asked if I called 911 to our apartment. I said yes (where else would I call them? lol), which upset him more.Am I being unreasonable for asking him to do more to try and help me through panic attacks? And am I wrong for calling 911 for a panic attack? AITA?Edit: I just wanted to add that it was EMS that recommened I go to the ER. My diastolic blood pressure was in the 190s which, panic attack or not, is dangerous. Thanks for weighing in guys! | AITA for calling 911? | YTA |
110e73m | SO… mil bought a dress that’s grey on the skirt but the top is literally like a wedding dress. Imagine the upper half of a classic white lacy wedding dress. She calls her other two sons and their partners (partners are writing this post) for opinions and we’re kind but honest about the fact that A) you can’t wear white to a wedding and B) when she’s sat at a table she will literally look like she’s wearing a wedding dress. So are we the assholes? Should we have kept our opinions to ourselves and let her potentially embarrass herself at her son’s wedding….?Edit - We’re close with our mil and from the video call with her when she showed us the dress, it was clear she had not thought about the white thing, let alone the “looking like a wedding dress” aspect…as difficult as that is to believe! | AITA for telling my mil her mother of the groom dress looked like a wedding dress | NTA |
1100gca | I am a middle school teacher and I have been at my school for 13 years. My grade level colleagues are a great group and work smoothly together. This year a math teacher quit and we got a new one at the start of the new semester. From the start she rubs people the wrong way. She has a student also attending our school and has been rude and even yelled at some of the teachers about things happening with her daughter. They have nothing to do with how the teachers have treated her daughter, just things she believes need to happen because she wants them to. Fast forward to her working with us. She has been hosting math tutoring during her lunch time which is perfectly fine. No one has an issue with that. The problem is that she has then kept kids past the bell to finish something for her then escorts them to their next class as much as 35 minutes late interrupting our classes, even talking over us to state why she kept them. She has done this to multiple teachers multiple time. After another instance in my class I asked her to please not bring them to class late as it is disruptive. She then proceeded to blame the student and say basically it’s his fault and his parents should be contacted and walked out. I immediately emailed my AP with the situation and was told she had already complained about me calling her out in front of the class. So, AITA? | AITA for asking another teacher to stop doing something in front of the class? | NTA |
110fz13 | Hi, using throwaway for privacy. So this incident has divided my friend group and I'm very confused, so looking for impartial judgement. I, 21f, recently went on a blind date that a friend set up for me. For some background, I work full time, have a very stable income and enjoy finer things in life. Ofc if I'm out with my friends then I do what everyone wants to do but I always envision that if I date someone, it would be someone who could go to places I like to go and do things i like to enjoy and more importantly be able to afford them. But at no point would I ever expect someone to pay for me, just pay for themselves. So when I went on this date, it was going fine, he seemed sweet, we had a few common interests. Then he mentioned how he couldn't wait to finish his degree. Now that was a little shocking to me because he was 25 and usually finished their bachelor's by 23 but i thought maybe he took a break, maybe it was his last year. So i asked him about it and he told me that it was actually his first year, he was in and out of rehab for years and his parents had cut him off until he got clean. Now they took out loans to pay for his college and give him limited allowance. I want to mention, I am very happy for him for getting clean and getting his life back together. But I knew then and there that I couldn't have the life i wanted with him, not until he finished his degree after 3 years. So I told him that he seems great but I can't see this going further. He was understandably upset and asked me why. So I was honest and told him that i want someone who can travel with me frequently, who can go to fancy places with me, and as happy as I am for him, it doesn't seem fair to me. I could see he got a little irritated at this, which i guess is acceptable, but he just nodded and asked for the bill. I offered him cash for my half, which he accepted and then we parted ways. I get home and a couple hours later, the friend who set us up is blowing my phone with messages saying how disappointed she is with me and how she never realised i was a gold digger. So apparently the guy told her that i rejected him because of his past and unemployment. I tried explaining to her that his past didn't bother me and I have expectations which he couldn't fulfill and Never did i expect him to fund anything for me. But she went around telling everyone about this, some people took my side and have been defending me but some are also saying that i shouldn't have told him the truth, instead told him I'm simply not interested. But some are calling me all names in the book and calling me disgusting. And this is really making me think that expecting someone to be financially stable is really that bad? So reddit, Aita? | AITA for rejecting someone because he didn't have a job? | NTA |
1109s7b | I am 30F, my husband is 40M. We have a 9 month old daughter, and two huskies. I work a full-time hybrid job (60/40 remote/in person). I do all the cooking and preparing meals for our baby. He is a stay at home dad, takes care of our garden, and our 6 chickens. My husband says I need to do more to keep the house clean. Cleaning has never been my strong suit. I lived with my grandma for most of my life, and she cleaned and cooked. I never cleaned anything growing up. As a result, I’m not the best at cleaning, and I don’t have the most common sense about it. I currently have a goal to spend 30 minutes a day cleaning, but sometimes I’m just so tired or I don’t feel like it and would rather engage in self care to unwind. My job isn’t physical, but it’s mentally taxing, and it’s not uncommon for me to have to balance 20+ projects at one time. I’m thankful to mostly work from home, but lately I’ve been fantasizing about going into work more because the house has been stressing me out.Because we have a lot of stuff, and it’s hard to keep it clean. I know I need to sweep daily, and I made a list of everything else that needs cleaning, but it’s hard to stick to that schedule. It also overwhelms me when I can’t get things as clean as I’d like. I know this is going to be a bigger issue once our baby starts walking. I’ve asked my husband for advice, and he says “just do it.” It’s not the most helpful because while I understand I need to, it’s difficult for me to balance it along with working full time, being the one that does the cooking, breastfeeding our baby, and finding time for myself. The husky fur is a big issue. My younger husky has no issues with being brushed, so he doesn’t shed as much, but my older husky despises being brushed, so she sheds a lot more, and in clumps. I know I need to brush her more, but I spare her at the expense of our house.I’ve offered to pay for a scheduled cleaning service, but my husband doesn’t want strangers coming into our home. I want to figure out how I’m supposed to balance being a breastfeeding mom, having a full time job, keeping everything clean, and having time to myself. So reddit, am I the asshole for not doing more? Please be kind if I am and provide tips for how I’m supposed to balance this along with my mental health. I would appreciate your thoughtful perspectives on this and any advice.I think I am an asshole because I’ve had many examples in my life of women doing everything to take care of the house. In my ethnicity, it is expected for the woman to be a homemaker. I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to balance motherhood, working, cleaning, and me time. I struggled with depression for years, and I don’t want to fall back into that. I strive to be the best version of myself that I can be for my daughter, but to do that, don’t I need some me time? Or do I just need to dedicate a lot more of my spare time to cleaning and making sure the house is in order? | AITA for not doing more around the house? | NTA |
11050rs | My parents were living in a condo, and the owner was being a jerk. Back in September, my husband (33 M) and a close friend of ours (24 M) went over during their free time to help load the moving truck and pack. I stayed home to watch my two young children (both under 5) because they would under foot. My parents stayed with us at the end of September (they were in escrow for a new place) and didn't move into their new place until mid November. During their stay with us, we set some house rules about not parenting my children, smoking in the house, and whatnot. They broke every rule outside the smoking in the house while staying with us. My husband and I (34 F) didn't say anything since we knew it was only temporary. But their stay has put a strain on my relationship with them. Growing up, we didn't necessarily got along. Especially with my dad since he was abusive and an alcoholic. It wasn't until I moved out that I had children that we started to get along better. November came around, and we helped move my parents into their new place. With the help of our friend. They still left a lot of their crap at our place.Yesterday, my dad called to give me an update on how things were going with them, and then they mentioned that my mom couldn't find her accounting bag. Then my dad proceeded to accuse my husband and my friend, that volunteered to help them move, of throwing the bag away and implying that he was either careless or incompetent. I got mad and said that was pretty shitty to accuse someone that spent their free time helping you to accuse them like that. My dad got made and defensive and said that was not what he meant and continued to say the same thing and accused my friend of possibly throwing it way. I laid into him again, saying that he had no evidence saying he did or not and it is not okay to just accuse people like that especially after they helped. He hunged up on me and I haven't heard back.My husband and I went through our garage and their is a huge pile of their crap still in our garage and found the missing bag that my dad accused my friend throwing away.I don't feel bad for telling my dad off, but this might hurt my relationship with my mom and brother...Am I the asshole?Edit 1: My husband and I looked for the bag after the phone call. I did texted my mom and she is going to swing by after work to pick it up | AITA for telling my dad that he is being shitty? | NTA |
110eigc | So I went round my friends house yesterday for a sleepover and there was one girl there who i knew but i hadnt seen for a year and we were never close, let call her Mia. We got to the point where we started having deep conversations and one of my friends was oversharing a bit so Mia told them to calm down as they may regret sharing this stuff. They then got into a deep conversation about dealing with trama and at this point i was just in the room with them as the other 2 friends at the sleepover were somewhere else. I wasn’t really included in the conversation but i was there listening and talking a bit so it wasn’t super awkward. Anyway, my friend said they felt a lot better at the moment, keeping in mind we had a few drinks. So to lighten the mood, i made a dark joke about livers being replaceable.Keep in mind this isn’t uncommon in the friend group and Mia used to make them as well last year. Anyway after that the others came back in the room and my friend who was there was laughing at the joke. Mia then said they were going to the toilet and one of the friends who just came in left again as they knew something was up. I didnt know why they were crying at the time but my friend thought it was there fault. Anyway, this friend left an hour later and as they were walking downstairs, Mia told my friend “its not your fault i was crying it was my name” they didn’t know i was behind them and heard this. Now im confused what to do. Im not 100% sure what i did but im guessing it was the joke cause I literally had not said anything else which could have hurt someones feelings up until then. I felt like shit for the rest of the evening as i felt as though i ruined mias day because of it. I dont know wether I should talk to mia or the friend or keep it to myself but honestly the main thing i want to know is AITA for making the joke. Also sorry for the bad grammar i so tired. | AITA for making someone cry | NAH |
110aipc | My girlfriend (30) and I (23 f) have just moved about 2 and a half hours away from where we met each other and our family and friends reside. We started dating about 6 months ago and moved in obviously a bit early. Everything is pretty great and we have been settling in fine but I have noticed a pattern of her clinging on to people from her past or getting attached too quickly to people. (I know haha i shouldve fckn knew, it has only been 6 months but what the fuck)(For example she has an ex wife (they have no kids together) who she refuses to stop talking to becuase she “doesn’t think it needs all of that” and doesn’t want to be spiteful, whatever tf that means.)Anyways, she has a friend I’ll call T. She just became close to T on a group snapchat and they decided to talk to each other one on one on outside of the chat for a few months without me knowing.Me and T actually dated briefly 6 months ago and it ended with me ghosting her for my current partner. We never talked after making out and planning on seeing each other the following weekend. That date never happened because my current partner intercepted.Again T watches my snapchat story all of the time, but has never interacted with me since then..When I found out a month ago I wasnt greatly enthused that my partner was talking to her, but its weird and controlling to tell your partner who they can and can’t be friends with. Fast forward and we’re having a superbowl party tomorrow. I have asked my partner 4 times the guest list for this party and T has NEVER came up. Today we’re talking about who’s showing up tonight to stay the night into superbowl day and she mentions T’s name. I absolutely lose my shit and tell her to cancel on her. I’m uncomfortable and I don’t want someone I barely know in my space. honestly we both BARELY know her as my partner has never even met her in real life.T is currently in my living room and I’m having a mental breakdown from my GAD. Why didn’t my partner just tell me? Why did she lie for 6 weeks of planning? She still can’t explain to me what the point of her coming is. I’m tired of having to explain to my partner why things like this and her ex wife make me uncomfortable.Edit: I know the act of ghosting T was shitty, it was not my best day at all.for more context my partner and her ex wife split back in 2017, her ex wife initiated the divorce by physically leaving her and saying she didn’t love her like that anymore. My partner has remained her friend | AITA for asking my gf to disinvite a friend from our housewarming? | ESH |
1109qt4 | *****Editing to add that my advice to leave him is NOT unsolicited. I DO listen to her, I DO remind her that she is loved. She usually asks for my opinion/advice, I just don’t know what else to say anymore besides “leave him”. I(26f) feel like an asshole because this has been a never ending cycle and I’m starting to wonder if this is my fault. Every couple of months or so, my best friend(Of 22 years), let’s call her Ana(27f) will call me literally bawling her eyes out about something her boyfriend of 7 years did(Let’s call him Bob, 28m). And I mean bawling. So here’s the cycle; 1. she calls me crying because he’s really mean to her 2. I tell her she needs to leave him 3. she agrees and starts the process 4. Bob apologizes and she forgives him 5. She doesn’t talk to me for several weeks and tells him that I told her to leave him. Things Bob has done: 3 examples1. Called off their wedding multiple times because he doesn’t “believe in marriage” even though she’s always talked about getting married. Her whole life. It’s one of the first things they ever talked about. He told her several times leading up to the wedding that he just didn’t want to marry her. On their actual wedding day, he left her at the alter. 2. He told her that he hopes she miscarries even though they were purposefully trying to have a baby, in which he said he WANTED. 3. Anytime she goes out and has drinks with me he makes fun of her and calls her an alcoholic (even though she most definitely is not, it happens maybe once a month)The list goes on but I think these are some good examples. Why I may be the asshole: I strongly believe that they both want very different things for their lives and I don’t want her to have wasted so much time with someone who couldn’t meet her expectations, I always tell her this. I always tell her she deserves better, but MAYBE that just isn’t my place to say. Maybe I should just be more supportive and encourage her to work it out with him. | AITA for telling my best friend she needs to leave her boyfriend | NTA |
110fr3x | My roommate was off from work one day last week and had been with my dog at home. She wasn’t asked to take care of the dog or watch him at all, they were both just there. I get home and she proudly states that she fed him a chicken bone. I asked some questions and she said he ate it in little pieces, then by my reaction she realized it was bad.She googled it and got worried that he could die. I kept my cool, but walked into the other room and saw he had already diarrhea’d in two spots on the rug that my roommate was completely unaware of. Since I knew she was already stressed I just cleaned it myself and it somehow didn’t trigger her curiosity that I got the bissell propet cleaner out and randomly started spot cleaning…The next day she and my other roommate were both home so tag-teamed taking him outside. (He wasn’t throwing up at all but had bad shits) That night she expressed she was concerned and would pay the vet bill if I had to take him. I did my best to avoid taking him though and just called the vet a few times for advice on what to monitor. Day after that roommate who gave him the bone had work so she was gone and I ended up working from home half day because the dog was needing to go outside every hour. Day after that I asked her to stay home since her job is more flexible than mine. She agreed but in the afternoon texted that she had a cold and needed to lay down so was putting the dog in his crate, where he ended up for three hours. This kind of made me mad because when I got home he went twice in 15 mins so clearly he had to go, and since she caused the issue she could have been more helpful. On day 4 I decided to take him to the vet because I had been woken up more than 4 times per night taking him outside and he had very soft and liquid stool at that point for 4 days. Ended up getting him X-rays and medicine which came to $450. When she texted me to ask about it I told her the bill and she immediately asked to only pay half because she had only expected it to be $300…in my eyes he could have needed surgery and that would have been thousands so if she said she would pay, the $450 was actually not that bad compared to what it could have been. She ended up sending over the money but I may give her half back since it is my dog and part of the responsibility of a dog is paying vet bills. But at the same time she gave my dog something without googling it to find out he could die…she didn’t grow up with dogs though so idk if she just really thought it was a treat for him. WIBTA if I don’t send money back? | WIBTA if I let my roommate pay my dog’s vet bill when she fed him a chicken bone? | NTA |
110fcx7 | Throwaway So I (28f) work as a lead generation specialist and since i am one of the oldest employees here, i also manage the office. My co-worker, let's call her Max (22f) is the second oldest employee. She works as our in-house website and graphic designer. She's the only designer we had until a couple months ago when we hired a design intern who she has been training. Max and I used to work together at our previous company as well, and I'm the one who referred her for the job. We are not friends outside the office but are usually on good terms. She is great at what she does, and our boss absolutely loves her and her work. But due to this I feel she gets a lot of special treatment and gets away with tantrums. She would always be on her phone watching movies or cartoon while working and when i tried to say something she would just say "i complete my work before the deadline so that's all that should matter" which is so unprofessional, so i made sure she always say in a seat right apposite from me so that i could keep an eye on her. She would always ask me to shift her to the corner and give shitty excuses like "i can't sit in front of the window, the glare on the PC makes it difficult to work" or "my seat is far away from my locker"A week ago she approached our boss and told him i was singling her out for some reason and treating her like a child which was absolutely not true. So i told him about her excessive phone usage. When he told her that this will be investigated she threatened to quit so he just told her to sit wherever she likes. Pure tantrum like child. Now, me and her live in the same direction and take the same subway. A couple days ago, she fell sick, took a sick leave, came next day and was still sick, while going back i saw her eating some junk food in the train, which was weird, if she was sick, she shouldn't be eating outside food but ignored her. Next day she came back sicker, her voice barely audible, sneezing, coughing. One of the other co-workers asked her what happened and she said she fell even sicker. So i said "then you shouldn't be stuffing your face with junk food if you were sick" and we laughed. Everyone did. She laughed as well. It was clearly a joke. But then next day i get an email from HR and our boss saying i am being investigated for creating a hostile work environment and bullying a coworker.I knew it was her so i confronted her and she just walked away and an hour later i got a direct message from my boss that I was being suspended until further notice. I don't think this was fair. If she felt bad about it, she could have told me and i would have apologized. My mother says it's my fault as i should have minded my own business but we always makes jokes like this. So, aita? | AITA for embarrassing my co-worker? | YTA |
10zu9ok | I’m (20sF) moved to Mexico from Texas to be closer to family two years ago. I got a job at an office, where I made my first friend here, Luz (20sF). Luz and I were the youngest at work and we bonded over our shared love of sports, some fandoms, and because we both love Tom Hiddleston.For Christmas last year, Lupe made me a Ton Hiddleston calendar for my cubicle. My boyfriend, Raul (20sM) hates the calendar. We’ve been dating for about a year. I tell him that I like him for his personality and because he’s funny. Admittedly, he wasn’t my type physically (I like tall and thin guys, but have dated larger dudes back in Texas. Raul is short and stocky, like beefy). He says that it’s not okay for me to have this calendar up when I’m already in a relationship. I disagree, it’s no different from the bikini model pinups his workplace (auto body shop) has on the workshop walls. I don’t like them, but I’m not going to tell Raul to take them down since it’s his works culture. He’s still pissed that I won’t take down the calendar. My family is split, with most saying that Raul needs a thicker skin if he feels threatened by Loki. And the others, mostly the older, more conservative family members saying that as a woman in a committed relationship, I shouldn’t have pictures of another guy up where I see it everyday. AITA? For now, Tom’s still at the office but I don’t want to take him down. | AITA for not taking down my work calendar? Boyfriend hates it. | NTA |
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