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She was a maiden, as far as Nanny knew, and she was at least in the right age-bracket for a crone; and, as for the third, well…cross Granny Weatherwax on a bad day and you’d be like a blossom in the frost. There was bound to be a candidate for the vacancy, though. There were several young girls in Lancre who were just ... |
“This is a mixture of rare herbs and suchlike,” she said. “Including sucrose and akwa. ” “My word,” said Jarge, impressed. “Take a swig now. ” He obeyed. It tasted faintly of licorice. “You got to take another swig last thing at night,” Granny went on. “An’ then walk three times round a chestnut tree. ” “…three times r... |
She had long blond hair and the happy smile of someone who is aware that she is thin and has long blond hair. “My name’s Christine!” she said. “Isn’t this exciting?!” And she had the type of voice that can exclaim a question. It seemed to have an excited little squeak permanently screwed to it. “Er, yes,” said Agnes. “... |
“I’m from somewhere up in the mountains you’ve probably never heard of…” She stopped. A light had gone off in Christine’s head, and Agnes realized that the question had been asked not because Christine in any way wanted to know the answer but for something to say. She went on: “…and my father is the Emperor of Klatch a... |
Next week they’re holding auditions at the Opera House… “What’s opera?” said Granny Weatherwax. “It’s like theater, with singing,” said Nanny Ogg. “Hah! Theater ,” said Granny darkly. “Our Nev told me about it. It’s all singing in foreign languages, he said. He couldn’t understand any of it. ” Granny put down the lette... |
“Beats me why people’d fall over themselves to read a cookery book, though,” she added. “I mean, it’s not the sort of thing that—” The room fell silent. Nanny Ogg shuffled her boots. Granny said, in a voice laden with a suspicion that was all the worse because it wasn’t yet quite sure what it was suspicious of: “It is ... |
People were already screaming when Agnes reached past, dipped her finger in the growing puddle, and sniffed. “It’s blood!” said the carpenter. “It’s blood, isn’t it?” said a musician. “Blood!!” screamed Christine. “Blood!!” It was Agnes’s terrible fate to keep her head in a crisis. She sniffed her finger again. “It’s t... |
” He had the kind of face that said that. Instead, he said, “Back again, is he? Where did he go?” “Didn’t see, Mr. Salzella. He just swooped off again!” “Some of you help Tommy down to the canteen,” said Salzella. “And someone else fetch a doctor—” “His leg isn’t broken,” said Agnes. “But that’s a nasty rope burn on hi... |
“Which is perhaps just as well,” said Salzella. “There is, in fact, another matter that I’ve come to see you about…” “Yes?” “It is to do with the organ we had. ” “Had? What do you mean, had ?” said Bucket, adding, “You’re going to tell me something expensive, are you? What have we got now?” “A lot of pipes and some key... |
In neat, copperplate writing, it said: Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha! BEWARE!!!!! Yrs sincerely The Opera Ghost “What sort of person,” said Salzella patiently, “sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera... |
“I may just be a big man in cheese to you,” he said, “you may think I’m just some hard-headed businessman who wouldn’t know culture if he found it floating in his tea, but I have been a patron of the opera here and elsewhere for many years. I can hum nearly the whole of—” “I am sure you’ve seen a lot of opera,” said Sa... |
“One of those old copper jelly molds. They’re worth quite a lot now. My aunt had a very good one. ” The hysterical cook was given a big drink and several members of staff went out into the darkness to investigate. All they found was a jelly mold, lying forlornly in the yard. At home Granny Weatherwax slept with open wi... |
A hand shot out and grabbed it. Nanny sat back. “Poor little man,” she said. It was only on the subject of Greebo that Nanny’s otherwise keen sense of reality found itself all twisted. To Nanny Ogg he was merely a larger version of the little fluffy kitten he had once been. To everyone else he was a scarred ball of inv... |
She felt inclined to back away, if only the brickwork would let her. And suddenly he was on the stairs, quite an ordinary person, no shadow at all, holding a very large lantern. “What are you doing here?” said the organist. “I…was just going to bed. ” “Oh, yes. ” He relaxed a little. “Some of you girls have got rooms h... |
“We,” said the manager, primly, “have allowed the Opera House to engage us for the rest of the season—” His voice faltered. He’d looked up at the luggage rack. “What’s that ?” Granny glanced up. “Oh, that’s Greebo,” she said. “And Mister Basilica’s not to eat him,” said Nanny. “What is it?” “He’s a cat. ” “It’s grinnin... |
“Just a bit tired…” “Oh, good!!” This exchange having exhausted her higher mental processes, Christine went back to operating on automatic. “Do you like my new dress?!” she exclaimed. “Isn’t it fetching ?!” Agnes looked at it. “Yes,” she said. “Very…white. Very lacy. Very figure-hugging. ” “And do you know what?!” “No.... |
“His poor hat!” Bucket looked up. As his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness he made out a shape up among the battens, spinning slowly… “Oh, dear ,” he said. “And I thought he’d written such a polite letter…” “Really? Then now read this one,” said Salzella, coming up behind him. “Must I?” “It’s addressed to you. ” Buc... |
It was done far more often than the audiences ever realized—when singers had a sore throat, or had completely dried, or had turned up so drunk they could barely stand, or, in one notorious instance many years previously, had died in the interval and subsequently sung their famous aria by means of a broom handle stuck u... |
” Undershaft raised his head, but didn’t turn it toward her. “More practice on those R s, madam, and strive for greater security above the stave,” he said hoarsely. “Yes. Yes, I will. ” André led her out into the corridor, shut the door, and then turned to her. “That was astounding,” he said. “Did you ever hear the gre... |
In fact, if you averaged out the moral difficulty of what she was proposing over all the little activities she had to undergo in order to do it, it probably wasn’t that bad at all, really— These comforting thoughts were arranging themselves in her mind as she headed back. She turned a corner and nearly walked into Nann... |
It was in two pieces, held together by the strings. One of them broke. “Who’d do something like this?” he said. “Honestly, Salzella…what is the difference between opera and madness?” “Is this a trick question?” “No!” “Then I’d say: better scenery. Ah…I thought so…” Salzella rooted among the destruction, and stood up wi... |
Then, completely ignoring the witches in his preoccupation with his task, he picked up the paste pot and went back inside. The witches stared at the new poster in silence. “Y’know, I wouldn’t mind seein’ an operation,” said Nanny, after a while. “Senior Basilica did give us the tickets. ” “Oh, you know me,” said Granny... |
“And now there’s a girl come forward to sing”—she peered at the stolen program—“the famous ‘Departure’ aria, it says here. Now that’s what I call a good voice—” “That’s Agnes singin’,” said Granny. “No, it’s this girl Christine. ” “Shut your eyes, you daft old woman, and tell me if that isn’t Agnes singin’,” said Grann... |
“There’s nothing I don’t know about drinks,” agreed Nanny, shamelessly emptying the last glass. “Especially these. ” “…and what about our Walter? He’ll worry himself silly…” “Walter’s your son?” said Granny. “Wears a beret?” The old woman nodded. “Only I always comes back for him if he’s working late…” she began. “You ... |
” “Well-known fact, dear. ” “Did they have flaming torches?” “Don’t think so. Just ordinary lanterns. ” “Oh, they’re no good,” said Nanny. “That’s for smugglers, lanterns. For evil monsters you need flaming—” “Excuse me, boys and girls!” The stage manager had stood on a box. “Now,” he said, a little pale around the fac... |
The sword whirled. The first thief spun and thrust at the shadowy shape in front of him, which turned out to be another thief, whose arm jerked up and dragged its own knife along the rib cage of the thief beside him. The masked figure danced among the gang, his sword almost leaving trails in the air. It occurred to Gra... |
We use whistle codes when we’re shifting the scenery. Having a sack of sandbags land on you could be unlucky, I suppose. ” Nanny glanced up. His gaze followed hers. Just here the ceiling was about two feet away. “It’s just safest not to whistle,” the boy mumbled. “I’ll remember that,” said Nanny. “No whistlin’. Interes... |
Bucket says that’s more than anyone’s ever had since Dame Gigli!! I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep for the excitement!!” “So you just drink up that lovely hot milk drink I’ve done for us,” said Agnes. “It took me ages to carry the saucepan up those stairs. ” “And the flowers!!” said Christine, ignoring the mug Agnes h... |
Goatberger gave you the job?” “Yup. Come up Quarry Lane and picked me special for…”—the troll’s brow creased as it tried to remember the unfamiliar words—“…the fast track inna fast-movin’ worlda publishin’. ” “And what exactly is your job?” “’Ead ’itter. ” “’Scuse me,” said Nanny, pushing forward. “I’d know that strata... |
Bucket?” “What?” Bucket, who’d been staring at the closed door, shook his head. “Oh. Yes. Er. Walter…” “What about him?” “He’s…all right, is he?” “Oh, he’s got his…funny little ways. He’s harmless enough, if that’s what you mean. Some of the stagehands and musicians are a bit cruel to him…you know, sending him out for ... |
She knew about old money, which was somehow hallowed by the fact that people had hung on to it for years, and she knew about new money, which seemed to be being made by all these upstarts that were flooding into the city these days. But under her powdered bosom she was an Ankh-Morpork shopkeeper, and knew that the best... |
“I mean, everyone acts as if it’s only the music that matters! The plots don’t make sense! Half the stories rely on people not recognizing their servants or wives because they’ve got a tiny mask on! Large ladies play the part of consumptive girls! No one can act properly! No wonder everyone accepts me singing for Chris... |
“It’s not as though we’re putting ‘Good Chance of Seeing Someone Throttled on Stage’ on the posters,” he said. “But news has got around. People like…drama. ” “You mean the Watch didn’t want us to shut down?” “No. They just said we should mount guards like last night and they’d take steps. ” “Steps to the nearest place ... |
The door had opened out onto the Opera House’s roof, just one more item in a forest of sky-lights and air shafts. She went back inside and headed downward. And became aware, as she did so, of the voices… The old stairs hadn’t been totally forgotten. Someone had at least seen their usefulness as an air shaft. Voices fil... |
It wasn’t as though he gobbled his food, but he did eat continuously, like a man who intends to go on doing it all day on industrial lines, his napkin tucked neatly into his collar. The fork was loaded while the current consignment was being thoroughly masticated, so that the actual time between mouthfuls was as small ... |
“Ai! Meu Deus! Dio Mio! O Goden! D’zuk f’t! Aagorahaa!” Señor Basilica upended the rest of the Special Secret Sauce onto his plate and carefully scraped out the dish with his spoon, holding it upside-down to reach the last little bit. “The weather has been a little…cool of late,” Bucket managed. “Very cold , in fact. ”... |
Greebo sneered at Agnes and followed him. The stairs went up just one flight and came out through a trapdoor backstage. She had been lost only a door or two from the real world. No one noticed her emerge. But then no one noticed her at all. They just assumed that she’d be around when she was needed. Walter Plinge had a... |
“But afterward I’m certain I heard him talking to the cat. Talking normally, I mean. I mean like a normal person, I mean. And you’ve got to admit…he is strange. Isn’t he just the sort of person who’d want to wear a mask to hide who he is?” She sagged. “Look, I can see you don’t want to listen—” “No! No, I think…well…” ... |
“And he practically told me he was!” “You believed him, did you?!” Christine made a little tutting sound that Agnes considered quite offensive. “Really, you girls believe the strangest things!!” “What do you mean, we girls?” “Oh, you know! The dancers are always saying they’ve seen the Ghost all over the place—” “Good ... |
He’d invited his mother because she represented 100 percent of all the women he knew. People tended to shake Henry’s hand cautiously, in case it came off. He’d bought a book about the opera and read it carefully, because he’d heard that it was absolutely unheard-of to go to an opera without knowing what it was about, a... |
“And may I order you something?” “He’ll have milk,” said Granny firmly. “I expect he has to keep up his strength,” said Salzella. Granny spun around. Her expression would have etched steel. “Anyone for a drink?” said Nanny Ogg, appearing out of nowhere with a tray and adroitly stepping between them like a very small pe... |
No one would have believed, before a pair of simian hands had worked on the project, that something like Doinov’s romantic Prelude in G could be rescored for Whoopee Cushion and Squashed Rabbits. “There’s the overtures,” said André, “and the ballroom scene…” “At least get him a bow-tie,” said Salzella. “No one can see ... |
Perhaps he’d decided that the world was currently too dangerous for Ghosts, although Nanny doubted he could ever decide that… At this rate the first act would be over before— A door opened somewhere. A lanky figure in a black suit and a ridiculous beret crossed the foyer and went up the stairs. At the top, they saw it ... |
” “Oh, yes. Yes. It certainly was,” said someone farther down the row, authoritatively. “Yes. Yes. The famous chase scene. Indeed. Oh, yes. They did it in Quirm, you know. ” “Oh…yes. Yes, of course. I’m sure I heard about it…” “I thought it was bloody good,” said Mrs. Lawsy. “Mother!” “About time something interesting ... |
The parting crowd revealed Nanny Ogg, holding a pitchfork in one hand and a torch in the other and thrusting them both in the air while muttering, “Rhubarb, rhubarb. ” Granny walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. “They’ve gone, Gytha. ” “Rhuba—Oh, hello, Esme,” said Nanny, lowering the implements of righteous ret... |
This left Sergeant Count de Tritus and Corporal the Count de Nobby Nobbs, who lurched to the middle of the bridge and regarded the few scraps of cloth. “Commander Vimes isn’t…isn’t…isn’t goin’ to like dis,” said Detritus. “You know he likes prisoners to be alive. ” “Yeah, but this one would’ve been hung anyway,” said N... |
“I still can’t believe it was Walter! I mean, good grief…Walter?” “What about the show? We can’t just stop! You never stop the show, not even if someone dies!” “Oh, we have stopped when people died…” “Yes, but only as long as it took to get the body offstage!” Agnes stepped back into the wings, and trod on something. “... |
In the flickering candlelight all that she could really see were sparkles of light as the cascade poured out, but there was no mistaking the gentle metallic scraping of lots of money. Lots and lots of money. Enough money to suggest very clearly that it belonged to either a thief or a publisher, and there didn’t seem to... |
André turned. “We?” he said. Agnes nodded, and looked across at Granny. The witch hadn’t moved, although it took a deliberate effort of will to focus on her among the shapes and shadows. André picked up the lamp and stepped forward. The shadows shifted. “Well?” he said. Agnes strode across the room and waved a hand in ... |
She scrambled up again and grabbed the saw. “Come back to finish it, eh?” she said, waving the implement in the air. “Wonder how you’d blame that on Walter! Make you happy, would it, the whole place burning down?” The figure, moving awkwardly, backed away as she advanced. Then it turned, lurched along the wobbling catw... |
“This supposed to happen?” “Er…I don’t think so…” “’S bloody good, though! A good laugh!” As the fat ballerina collided with a donkey in evening dress she staggered and grabbed at his mask, which came off… Herr Trubelmacher, the conductor, froze in horror and astonishment. Around him the orchestra rattled to a standsti... |
He’d cut what teeth he had on a helmet with horns on it. The first bed he could remember was the very same trampoline used by Dame Gigli in the infamous Bouncing Gigli incident. Walter Plinge lived opera. He breathed its songs, painted its scenery, lit its fires, washed its floors and shined its shoes. Opera filled up ... |
So, while I have the stage, let me tell you what a wretched, self-adoring, totally unrealistic, worthless art form it is, what a terrible waste of fine music, what a—” There was a whirr off on one side of the stage. The skirts of costumes began to flap. Dust flew up. André looked around. Beside him, the wind machine ha... |
“Shut up,” said Nanny Ogg, out of the corner of her mouth. “But he hasn’t— ” Bucket began. “Incidentally, another thing I can’t stand about opera,” said Salzella, rising to his feet and reeling crabwise toward the curtains, “are the plots. They make no sense!! And no one ever says so!!! And the quality of the acting? I... |
Bucket’s office,” André said. This seemed to break some sort of spell. “Yes, indeed!!!” said Bucket. “And we can’t leave Mr. Salzella corpsing onstage, either. You two, you’d better take him backstage. The rest of you…well, it was nearly over anyway…er…that’s it. The…opera is over…” “ Walter Plinge! ” Nanny Ogg entered... |
That is, a huge shadowless light was streaming from some unseen source and yet, apart from Salzella himself, there was nothing for it to illuminate. Footsteps sounded in the distance. Their owner took some time to arrive, but when he stepped into the liquid air around Salzella he seemed to burst into flame. He wore red... |
“Making good time,” said Nanny, opening the curtains and peering out of the window. “I expect the driver’s in a hurry. ” “Yes, I ’spect he is. ” “Shut the window, though. It’s getting wet in here. ” “Righty-ho. ” Nanny grabbed the strap and then suddenly poked her head out into the rain. “Stop! Stop! Tell the man to st... |
Its humor is genuine and unforced. ” Ottawa Citizen “Terry Pratchett seems constitutionally unable to write a page without at least a twitch of the grin muscles…. [But] the notions Pratchett plays with are nae so narrow or nae so silly as your ordinary British farce. Seriously. ” San Diego Union-Tribune “Pratchett, for... |
It would have been more impressive if they’d all agreed on one before, but as it was it sounded as though every single small warrior had a battle cry of his very own and would fight anyone who tried to take it away from him. “Nac mac Feegle!” “Ach, stickit yer trakkans!” “Gie you sich a kickin’!” “Bigjobs!” “Dere c’n o... |
Probably not real gold, but impressively glittery all the same. “There’s a bit there that could do with goin’ over again, gel,” she said, topping up her beer. “Yes, Nanny. ” Another daughter-in-law, whose name she’d certainly be able to recall after a few seconds’ thought, was buffing up Nanny’s red boots. A third was ... |
Perhaps it had gone. For tonight’s event he’d selected William the buzzard, who could be depended upon. All Hodgesaargh’s birds could be depended upon, but more often than not they could be depended upon to viciously attack him on sight. William, however, thought that she was a chicken, and she was usually safe in comp... |
“It’s your life, then!” The mounted figure shook its head. I think not. I really do. It pulled a long curved stick out of a holster. The highwayman had assumed it was a lance, but now a curved blade sprang out and glittered blue along its edges. I must say that you have an amazing persistence of vitality, said the hors... |
A full moon could only wane, a new moon could only wax, but a half moon, balancing so precariously between light and dark…well, it could do anything. Witches always lived on the edges of things. She felt the tingle in her hands. It was not just from the frosty air. There was an edge somewhere. Something was beginning. ... |
” “Right! But ours is…ours is…” Nanny thumped her chest, causing considerable ripples, “ours is the right black, right? Now, off you go and look inconspicuous,” added Nanny, a lady wearing a two-foot-tall pointed black hat. She stared around at the crowd again, and nudged her son. “Shawn, you did deliver an invite to E... |
“Why?” “Shows you’ve bin past me,” said the troll. “Yeth, but we will have been parthed you,” Igor pointed out. “I mean, everyone will know we’ve been parthed you becauthe we are. ” “But it’ll show you done it officially ,” said the troll. “What’ll happen if we jutht drive on?” said Igor. “Er…den I won’t lift der pole,... |
I’m amazed it doesn’t go clang when she puts it down. How are you at making the tea?” “They always complain,” said Agnes. “They do, don’t they. Three lumps of sugar for Nanny Ogg, right?” “It’s not as if they even give me tea money,” said Agnes. She sniffed. There was a slight mustiness to the air. “It’s not worth baki... |
To her horror, it didn’t seem to have the desired effect. “Granny Weatherwax isn’t King, Mrs. Ogg,” said Verence. “And the world is changing. There is a new order. Once upon a time trolls were monsters that ate people but now, thanks to the endeavors of men, and of course trolls, of goodwill and peaceful intent we get ... |
Every glacial valley, separated from its neighbors by a route that required a scramble or, at worst, a ladder, more or less ruled itself. There seemed to Agnes to be any number of kings, even if some of them did their ruling in the evenings after they’d milked the cows. A lot of them were here, because a free meal is n... |
The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed. She shuddered at a memory. Almost as horrible, but not quite. The odd thing was, quite a lot of villagers had turned up to his funeral, and there had been mutterings from one or two people on the lines of, yes, well, but ... |
As she left, he blew his nose again, produced a small black book from a pocket, sighed, and hurriedly opened it at a bookmark. She picked up a tray to add some weight to the alibi, stepped toward the food table, turned to look back at the hunched figure as out of place as a lost sheep, and walked into someone as solid ... |
“Yeth! Thith lot only wear it in the evening, can you imagine that? The retht of the time it’th all thwanning around in fanthy waithtcoatth and lacy thkirtth! Hah! D’you know what thith lot hath done?” “Do tell…” “They’th oiled the hingeth!” Igor took a hefty pull of Nanny’s special brandy. “Thome of thothe thqueakth t... |
There was something glossy about him, and also a sort of urgent, hungry enthusiasm, the kind you get when someone has just read a really interesting book and is determined to tell someone all about it. “Allow me to present the Countess de Magpyr,” he said. “These are the witches I told you about, dear. I believe you’ve... |
” Hodgesaargh noticed the smell of burnt wood as he ambled back to the mews but put it down to the bonfire in the courtyard. He’d left the party early. No one had wanted to talk about hawks. The smell was very strong when he looked in on the birds and saw the little flame in the middle of the floor. He stared at it for... |
It’d burned for three years, and then he’d lost it somewhere. If you looked at it closely, you could even see the detail. It was not exactly a flame. It was more like a bright feather… Well, Lancre was on one of the main migration routes, for birds of all sorts. It was only a matter of time. So…the new hatchling was ar... |
Aren’t you glad you’ve got me? There was some bustling while a wad of sheet music was pulled out of the piano stool and the young lady sat down to play. She glared at Agnes before beginning. There was some sort of chemistry there, although it was the sort that results in the entire building being evacuated. It’s a rack... |
“But here we are, and I don’t seem to see this famous lady with us. Perhaps you should go and fetch her? You could take your friends. And when you see her, Miss Nitt, you can tell her that there is no reason why witches and vampires should fight. ” Nanny Ogg stirred. Jason shifted in his seat. Agnes pulled them upright... |
The old ones…they stuck with simple kitchen cutlery, fishing floats, bits of wood, whose very ordinariness subtly advertised their status. Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple-corer. A sound she hadn’t been hearing stopped abruptly, and the silence echoed. Nanny glance... |
Out of habit she stopped and gently let herself unravel, until from the deer’s point of view there was hardly anyone there. When she began to walk forward again a deer stepped out of some bushes and stopped and turned to face her. She’d seen this happen before. Hunters talked about it sometimes. You could track a herd ... |
The Count de Magpyr looked out of the window at the glow that marked the rising sun. “There you are, you see?” he said, turning back to his family. “Morning, and here we are. ” “You’ve made it overcast,” said Lacrimosa sullenly. “It’s hardly sunny. ” “One step at a time, dear, one step at a time,” said the Count cheerf... |
“He’ll never retire,” said Vlad. “He’ll never take a hint. ” “And it’s so old-fashioned, having a servant called Igor,” said the Countess. “He really is too much. ” “Look, it’s simple,” said Lacrimosa. “Just take him down to the cellars, slam him in the Iron Maiden, stretch him on the rack over a fire for a day or two,... |
There seemed to be something preying on his mind. “Unfortunately, the Old Book of Om is rather unyielding on the subject of witches,” he said. “Really. ” “Although having studied the passage in question in the original Second Omnian IV text, I have advanced the rather daring theory that the actual word in question tran... |
So there’d be an egg, definitely. And eggs needed warmth, didn’t they? Hodgesaargh had been thinking about this a lot during the morning, as he tramped through damp bushes making the acquaintance of several disappointed ducks. He’d never bothered much about history, except the history of falconry, but he did know that ... |
“Ah…well, it depends exactly where they’re from, I remember. Uberwald is a very big place. Er…cutting off the head and staking them in the heart is generally efficacious. ” “But that works on everyone,” said Nanny. “Er…in Splintz they die if you put a coin in their mouth and cut their head off…” “Not like ordinary peop... |
Her fingers explored it in fascinated horror and discovered it to be a ball of wool with a couple of long knitting needles stuck through it, suggesting either a very domesticated form of voodoo or that someone was knitting a sock. Who knitted socks in a coffin? On the other hand, perhaps even vampires couldn’t sleep so... |
She didn’t say what was in it,” Agnes repeated, just in case Magrat hadn’t got the hint. Magrat clasped her hands together and looked down, biting her knuckles. When she looked up her face was set with purpose. She pointed at Oats. “ You find a bag or something and empty into it all the stuff in the top drawer over the... |
” “You’re not coming, are you?” said Agnes, aghast. “Yes, of course. ” “But what about the baby?” “She seems to like it in the sling and it keeps her warm and it’s not as if there’s monsters up there,” said Magrat. “Anyway, I think it’s possible to combine motherhood and a career. ” “I thought you’d given up witchcraft... |
But something’s happening… The roar ahead grew louder. “There’s a little stream, isn’t there?” said Agnes. “That’s right,” said Nanny. “Just here. ” The moor fell away. They stared into the abyss, which didn’t stare back. It was huge. White water was just visible far below. Cold damp air blew past their faces. “That ca... |
” They edged forward, despite an increasingly insistent voice in Agnes’s head that kept telling her she was being a stupid coward and of course she wouldn’t be hurt. She tried to ignore it. The caves that Agnes remembered hadn’t been much more than rock overhangs. These were caverns. The difference is basically one of ... |
“Sometimes you’d see two or three at a time when I was girl, just lights flying high up in the sky. ” “No, no, the phoenix…there’s only one of it, that’s the whole point,” said Agnes. “One of anything’s no bloody use,” said Nanny. Granny Weatherwax smacked her lips, like someone emerging from a very deep sleep. Her eye... |
“I can’t see it,” said Granny. “This is it, Gytha. I might as well lie here until the water drips on me and I go into stone like the ol’ witch at the door. ” “You’ll find a way,” said Nanny. “Weatherwaxes don’t let ’em-selves get beaten. It’s something in the blood, like I’ve always said. ” “I am beaten, Gytha. Even be... |
The man lowered the thimble. “Pictsies!” “Pixies, if you insist,” said Nanny. “They live up on the high moors over toward Uberwald—” “Ach! Bae, yon snae rikt speel, y’ol behennit! Feggers! Yon ken sweal boggin bludsuckers owl dhu tae—” Nanny nodded while she listened. Halfway through the little man’s rant she topped up... |
” “Tell every one I said it ain’t compuls’ry for them to be there, of course,” Nanny added. Jason glanced at the hierarchy of Oggs. Nanny didn’t have to add anything more to that sentence. Everyone knew the cat’s box sometimes needed lining. “Yes, mum. I’II tell ’em you said they didn’t have to come if they don’t want ... |
And, indeed, I could teach you…” “No,” said Agnes, flatly. “But when we—Oh, what is that moron doing now?” A cloud of dust was advancing from the direction of the kitchens. In the middle of it, holding a bucket and a shovel, was Igor. “Igor!” “Yeth, marthter?” “You’re putting down dust again, aren’t you…” “Yeth, martht... |
They both turned. The Count had stepped into the gallery. He was wearing a smoking jacket. There was an armed man strolling on either side of him. “Oh dear, Vlad…playing with your food? Good evening, Miss Nitt. We appear to have a mob at the gates, Vlad. ” “Really? That’s exciting. I’ve never seen a real mob. ” “I wish... |
And he’d reply: other kinds than the kind that is actually true , you mean? And he’d say: define actually ! And he’d shout: well, actually Omnians would have tortured you to death, not long ago, for even thinking like this. Remember that? Remember how many died for using the brain which, you seem to think, their god ga... |
She was soaked and covered in mud, her dress torn in several places. Agnes realized that she’d never actually seen Granny Weath-erwax wet before, even after the worst storm, but now she was drenched. Water poured off her and left a trail on the floor. “Mistress Weatherwax! So good of you to come,” said the Count. “Such... |
Agnes stared at the prone body. Granny Weatherwax looked a lot smaller when she was unconscious. “Would you like to stay to dinner?” said the Count. “You’re going to…after all this talk, you’re going to…suck her blood?” “We are vampires, Miss Nitt. It’s a vampire thing. A little…sacrament, shall we say. ” ” “How can yo... |
To Verence, an alumnus of the Fools’ Guild, it looked very much like a very tall human pyramid made up of very small acrobats. “Hup! Hup!” “Hyup!” “Hup!” It grew level with the guard’s face. The single figure at the top yelled: “What ya lookin’ a’, chymie? Ha’ a wee tastie!” and launched itself directly at a point betw... |
“Now, if I brings my knees together,” said a cheerful female voice above him, “it’s very probable I could make your brains come right down your nose, But I know that ain’t going to happen, because I’m sure we’re all friends here. Say yes. ” “’th. ” “That’s the best we’re going to get, I expect. ” Nanny Ogg got up and f... |
“You heard what she said!” she shouted, and ran out into the rain. Granny’s head slumped forward against the iron again. Around her fingers red sparks danced on the metal. “Mister priest,” she said, in a hoarse whisper. “Somewhere in this place is an ax. Fetch it here!” Oats looked around desperately. There was an ax, ... |
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