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401,124 | 7,743,887 | 563,075 | 9 | Bloody Loftus ! | Following a party at Loftus ' house , Duncan wakes up in the spare room , naked except for woollen gloves and wellington boots . What has happened here ? As it turns out , those arch-jokers Dick and Paul have struck again . The Chairman of the Board tells Loftus that he is being considered for a knighthood . To boost his chances , Loftus commissions a new medical research unit , to be headed by Duncan . Bingham is livid , as he had proposed a similar idea a while back . But the unit is soon used for purposes other than than for which it was originally intended - doctors are sneaking into it to enjoy a crafty kiss and cuddle , while Paul is fermenting wine . . . This episode begins a story arc that would be resolved in the final instalment of Series 1 - ' Long Days Journey Into Knighthood ' . Sammie Winmill gets to a deliver a classic double entendre . Giving Duncan coffee , she says : " You should always start the day with something hot inside you . I do ! " . Her character appears to have been modelled on ' Nurse Sandra May ' from ' Carry On Doctor ' . Like Babs Windsor , Winmill is cute , blonde , and squeaky voiced , though not so well endowed . Note her excitement when Dick confides to her that it was he and Paul who undressed Duncan the night before . On hearing that it was only to put him to bed , she sounds disappointed : " How boring ! " . I think I detect the influence of Graham Chapman in that line . Though not formerly in this episode , Joan Benham is seen briefly in a fantasy sequence in which Loftus imagines his big day at Buckingham Palace . Richard O'Sullivan is on good form here . Bingham's fury at being passed over for the job of heading the unit is hilarious . Upton's fate is again mentioned , presumably for the benefit of those who had missed the previous episode . There's a good running gag in which the doctors are forced to retreat to a corner of the unit every time an alarm sounds , signifying a possible radiation leak from the X-Ray Department below . Funniest moment - Paul taking a sip of what he thinks is wine . It turns out to be blood ! |
401,476 | 7,743,887 | 563,086 | 9 | Upton In Living Colour ! | London Television wants to come to St . Swithins to record an item for a current affairs programme about the state of the N . H . S . Loftus asks Dick and Mike to appear with him . Both are naturally thrilled . But the other students are unhappy about being left out and try to disrupt the proceedings , firstly by painting a clown's white face on Upton prior to taping , then Hooley masquerades as an 82 year old patient named Mrs . Crabtree in order to be interviewed . His performance ends abruptly when Upton tries to give him an enema . Dick has a disagreement with Loftus over a diagnosis which the cameras manage to capture . Things come to a head in the students ' bar when the crew catches them at their drunken worst . . . Its one of the oldest sitcom plots in the book . A film / T . V . crew turns up so people start showing off , but the broadcast item is not what was expected . A similar idea was later done in I . T . V . ' s other great medical sitcom - ' Only When I Laugh ' . But it works well enough here . The big twist is that the footage is for a damning indictment about the N . H . S . , and Loftus is naturally furious . Things To Look Out For : Graeme Garden , co-writer of this and many other ' Doctor ' episodes , appears briefly as a T . V . presenter . Another Thing To Look Out For : Dick mentions Dirk Bogarde , the star of the ' Doctor ' movies . Spot The Mistake : Jonathan Lynn slipping on spilt beer in the students ' bar . To everyone's credit , the scene continues as planned . Funniest moment - Hooley's impersonation of ' Mrs . Crabtree ' . His head wrapped in a shawl , and without make-up , Lynn is totally convincing as an old Irish woman . |
401,170 | 7,743,887 | 563,085 | 9 | Upton In Love | Mike Upton asks the attractive Valerie out on a date . They go to a park . Escorting her home , he is invited in for tea . But he has a shock in store - she is Professor Loftus ' daughter . Mrs . Loftus is polite to Upton , while her husband treats him disdainfully . Suddenly , talk of marriage is in the air , and the law is laid down to Mike in no uncertain terms - if he wishes to have Valerie as a wife , he must first give up any hope of being a doctor . Mike is so smitten by her he contemplates doing just that , much to his father's horror . Huw and Duncan do not like the situation either , and attempt to talk him into dumping Valerie . Eventually , the girl ends the relationship . Upton is naturally distraught . But , then , unexpectedly , she begins dating Huw . . . One of the better Season 1 episodes , signposting the direction the show would take in future , with less drunken revelry and greater emphasis on character and storyline . Alan Tew's theme tune appears in a mellower form during the park scenes . Difficult to see why Valerie ditches the clean-cut , clean-living Mike for the unlikeable drunkard Huw . The final shot of Upton alone on a park bench with Valerie and Huw kissing in the background is poignant . Lynn Dalby , who plays ' Valerie ' , was ' Hazel ' in the excellent Adam Faith series ' Budgie ' in 1971 . Funniest moment - Upton walking along the top of a wall in a park , before falling off and landing on top of a kissing couple ! |
401,562 | 7,743,887 | 75,592 | 9 | The idea for this story . . . | At a lavish showbiz party in the late ' 70's , Roald Dahl approached film producer and television executive Sir John Woolf and made him an offer he could not refuse : " How would you like to make a series out of all my stories ? " . Sir John jumped at the chance . As well as a bestselling writer of children's books , Dahl was also known as the literary Hitchcock , the master of the suspenseful short story . The result was ' Roald Dahl's Tales Of The Unexpected ' , made by Anglia Television , which ran for the best part of a decade . Some of the stories had been filmed before as part of the U . S . series ' Alfred Hitchcock Presents ' . Nevertheless , the show proved hugely popular , attracting the likes of Sir John Gielgud , Joan Collins , Sir Bernard Miles , Sir John Mills , Derek Jacobi , Timothy West , Susan George , Ron Moody , Denholm Elliott , Joss Ackland , Brian Blessed , and American actors of the calibre of Telly Savalas , Joseph Cotton , Gloria Grahame , Janet Leigh , Julie Harris and Jack Weston . The opening titles were an unsettling blend of James Bondian imagery ( a gun , playing cards , a dancing nude woman ) and Gothic horror , backed up by Ron Grainer's carousel-style music . Dahl himself introduced the stories in Hitchcockian fashion . Ronald Harwood and Robin Chapman penned many of the scripts . Predictably , some stories worked better on television than others . ' Man From The South ' got the series off to a fine start , casting Jose Ferrer as a madman who tricks a young American tourist into a bizarre wager which , should he lose , means he forfeits the little finger of his right hand . ' Lamb To The Slaughter ' was about the only truly perfect murder ever conceived , whereas ' Neck ' had a rich husband revenging himself on his adulterous wife . Easily the worst episode , however , was ' Royal Jelly ' , the ending of which was not so much unexpected as unspeakable . Critics renamed the show ' Tales Of The Bleedin ' Obvious ' , yet many episodes did contain genuine surprise endings , such as ' Genesis & Catastrophe ' and ' Skin ' . When the production team ran out of Dahl stories to adapt , they turned to the works of other writers . Eventually , Dahl and his name disappeared from the show . Some of the later American-based episodes were a bit weak , often coming across as belonging to a different show entirely . As D . V . D . releases and I . T . V . - 3 reruns will attest , this show at its peak is still rattling good fun . By the way , the ' dancing nude woman ' in the titles was Karen Standley . |
401,504 | 7,743,887 | 563,125 | 9 | I always wanted to do that ! | Duncan is shocked to find himself overdrawn at the bank . The culprit - one Dick Stuart-Clark , stole Duncan's credit cards while he was drunk . Dick is being threatened by a bookie to whom he owes money . Andy is not exactly solvent either . Acting on a tip off from Gascoigne , the trio volunteer to be guinea pigs at a research clinic , for which they will be well paid . The experiment involves them being injected with a drug designed to relax muscular control , meaning they will temporarily lose control of their bodies . Back at St . Swithins , the doctors endeavour to carry out their duties but both Loftus and the patients are startled by their seemingly erratic behaviour . . . Selwyn Roberts only penned one episode of ' Go ' , but its a good one , affording Nedwell , Davies and Kane the chance to have some fun with their characters , twitching and jumping about like ' Carry On ' star Jack Douglas ' ' Alf Ippititimus ' after a rectal injection of chili . As you would expect , Nedwell is better at the physical comedy than the others . Funniest moment - Duncan throwing beer into Loftus ' face ! |
401,425 | 7,743,887 | 563,120 | 9 | A Present For Loftus | While researching in the St . Swithins library , Duncan and Dick read in ' Who's Who ' that Loftus has been Professor of Surgery for nearly twenty years . Duncan decides to commemorate the occasion by giving him a special gift . He and Dick pay Lady Loftus a visit . Spotting them leaving his house , he asks his wife what they were doing there . She replies that they wanted to discuss the fund for the proposed library extension . He wonders why they did not see him first , he happens to be the fund committee's Chairman . Duncan asks Gascoigne , Kate and McKenzie to contribute to the cost of Loftus ' present , but none are keen to do so . The Professor has been getting up everyone's noses of late . Kate is riled because he told her off about wearing trousers to work , and McKenzie launches into a fiercely patriotic rant when Loftus complains about his kilt . Dick supplies the gift - a tape recorder of doubtful quality . It begins recording when the doctors run down Loftus in the Common Room . . . A very good Layton / Lynn penned episode . Ernest Clark is on fine form here , switching moods abruptly from angry to happy ( when Lady Loftus informs him of the surprise the doctors have for him ) . Jacquie-Ann Carr also impresses , particularly when she stands up to Loftus and calls him an ' old fuddy-duddy ' . She was a great asset to ' On The Go ' . John Kane's patriotic outburst is hilarious , but surprisingly fails to get the deserved response from the audience . Funniest moment - Kate telling Loftus she plans on coming to work in future in ' tassels and nipple pads ' . Following a beautifully timed pause , Loftus asks : " What are they ? " . Last night , I . T . V . - 1 made the ' Doctor ' series the latest subject of ' Comedy Classics ' . It was then followed by the ' Face The Music ' episode of ' In Charge ' . Chosen apparently because it was one of George Layton's favourites ( a pity the punchline was given away before it went out ) . As I have already reviewed the episode , I will place my thoughts here instead . Overall , the documentary was much better than expected . No Sarpong / Cotton / Wright for one thing . The appearance of Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden came as a pleasant surprise , and it was good to hear Layton and Geoffrey Davies paying tribute to Robin Nedwell . It was incorrect to say John Cleese and Graham Chapman left to create ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' though . Chapman stayed , teaming up first with Barry Cryer , and then Bernard McKenna , David Sherlock , and Douglas Adams . Cleese returned to write for ' At Large ' . Layton revealed that Barry Evans had in fact been sacked ( due to erratic behaviour ) and had not left of his own accord , which I had long understood to be the case . ' At Sea ' and ' At The Top ' were skirted over , and ' Down Under ' not mentioned at all ( no bad thing ) . It was a lot of ground for a half-hour programme to cover , but I thought they managed it well ( though I would not have used the Sherrie Hewson stuff ) . And we got to see sexy Sammie Winmill ! |
400,774 | 7,743,887 | 563,121 | 9 | Is he the peeping tom ? | Their adventures at sea over , Duncan and Dick return to St . Swithins . They are late for the interview as they came across a road accident . Duncan wanted to help , but Dick drove on . Loftus commends Stuart-Clark for doing so . The Board Of Governors does not remember them . Senile Mr . Reeves ( Harold Bennett ) thinks Duncan is the peeping tom who has lately been bothering nurses . Duncan gets his old job of junior registrar back on Loftus ' recommendation , provided he keeps out of trouble . But it looks a forlorn hope when Duncan comes to the aid of top footballer Billy Guest , who has been hurt in a car accident . Guest's bullish manager threatens to sue Duncan for exacerbating his star player's leg injury . . . This episode has something of a ' back to basics ' feel , reestablishing the St . Swithins ' setting , bringing back the ' Doctor At Large ' version of the Alan Tew theme , and restoring minor characters such as Harold Bennett's ' Mr . Reeves ' . Much as I liked ' At Sea ' , it was good to have things back as they were . We meet three new regulars ; ' Dr . Andrew Mackenzie ' ( John Kane ) is a Scottish ' Danny Hooley ' , while ' Dr . James Gascoigne ' ( Andrew Knox ) another ' Bingham ' . However , ' Dr . Kate Wright ' ( Jacquie-Ann Carr ) is a first for the show - she is immune to Stuart-Clark's charm , and being his boss , takes delight in ordering the lounge lizard to perform menial tasks such as checking the oxygen cylinders . Women's Lib had belatedly arrived in St . Swithins ! Stuart-Clark seems to have inherited Duncan's fondness for bow-ties ! Funniest moment - Duncan mountaineering up St . Swithins to persuade Guest to drop the lawsuit . The credit ' Action By Havoc ' also appeared on the early Jon Pertwee ' Dr . Who ' episodes . Note the cheer of the studio audience when Duncan's job is saved ! Brian Capron , who plays ' Guest ' , would become notorious years later for his role as serial killer ' Richard Hillman ' in ' Coronation Street ' . |
401,075 | 7,743,887 | 563,122 | 9 | Tony Hates Virgins ! | Duncan needs to pass a vital exam , which means he has to put in a lot of studying . But Stuart-Clark and MacKenzie lead such active social lives it becomes impossible for Duncan to work . Finding him on the London Underground , Kate takes pity and offers him a room at her flat . He accepts . Her boyfriend Barry shows up , and is not happy to find Duncan in residence . With the clock ticking away to Exam Time , Kate , Dick and Andrew must find another way to help their pal . . . A very funny episode , not in the least because of Robin Nedwell's mounting exasperation as his attempts to study fail miserably . Dick is fond of watching cartoons on the telly , while Andrew's life is one long booze-up . Duncan decides to use the system of mnemonics - using a meaningless phrase based on the first letters of the correct answer - to help him pass . The system was first featured in the ' In The House ' episode ' Pass Or Fail ' . Its when he tries to learn ' Touching Tits Causes Happiness ! ' that Kate's boyfriend loses his rag and throws him out . Kate in turn sends Barry packing , leaving the field clear for a Kate / Duncan romance . Funniest moment - Duncan chatting to Kate through her bathroom door , unaware that Barry has returned . " I come in there and scrub your back , non ? " , he says in a bad French accent . On realising Barry is standing behind him , Duncan jumps out of his skin . A perfect bit of comic timing ! |
400,776 | 7,743,887 | 563,132 | 9 | Skate and I are going kating ! | Duncan is suffering from depression and does not know why , so he goes to see psychiatrist Professor Browning , who advises him to change his lifestyle , to become more ' with it ' . He does so , and his friends are amazed at the change . MacKenzie and Stuart-Clark are so impressed they go to see the Professor themselves , resulting in major personality shifts . Andy loses his love of alcohol , while Dick not only stops drinking , gambling and womanizing , but develops a serious interest in medicine . Even Loftus is not immune from the professor's way of thinking . . . Very good episode , this , notable for the sight of the regulars acting out of character . Only Kate is unaffected . Stuart-Clark's studious new image is a foretaste of the persona he'd eventually adopt in ' Doctor At The Top ' . Funniest moment - Loftus showing up at Kate's dinner party in loud clothes , and acting in a unnaturally jocular manner : " Call me Geoffrey ! " . |
401,638 | 7,743,887 | 563,129 | 9 | On the one hand . . . | For the first time in his life , Duncan Waring is in love and seriously contemplating marriage . But then he and Gascoigne argue over a patient's diagnosis in front of students . Embarrassed , Duncan snaps and calls Kate a ' stupid cow ' . She storms off . So that appears to be that . Depressed , Duncan finds he cannot keep his mind on his work . . . The first season of ' Doctor On The Go ' concluded with this episode , which looked as though it might signal the end of the ' Duncan / Kate ' romance . During a heated row , Kate slaps Duncan so hard he winds up needing treatment in his own hospital . Its one of Jacquie-Ann Carr's best moments . Needless to say , the rift was not a permanent one , and Kate was back for Series 2 . Funniest moment - Duncan flung across the room like a rag doll . Wow ! That's some slap ! Is Kate bionic or what ? |
400,616 | 7,743,887 | 563,131 | 9 | The Tables Are Turned ! | Duncan is in charge of a group of young male students , and plays the clown at every opportunity . He turns the operating theatre into a music hall with a constant barrage of jokes . But the smile vanishes from his face when he finds a gall bladder left over from what was supposed to be a tonsil operation . A terrified Duncan thinks his medical career may be over . In actual fact , he is the victim of a sick practical joke played on him by the students . Even Dick is not in on it . Several months before becoming a household name as teddy boy ' Jakey Smith ' in the I . T . V . sitcom ' Get Some In ! ' , Robert Lindsay made a guest appearance in this ' Doctor On The Go ' episode , as the mischievous Harrison . Even here his talent is unmistakable . Had Robin Nedwell refused to continue in the show , Lindsay would have made an ideal replacement . Gail Renard's script has a ' Doctor In The House ' feel , what with the trouble-making students and jolly japes . Without realising it , poor Duncan has become a ' Loftus ' figure to these fresh-faced youngsters . At the start of the episode , Duncan tells the students of the time he got Bingham drunk and put his leg in plaster . Fans will recognise the anecdote as being the plot of the classic ' Doctor In Charge ' story ' Honeymoon Special ' . Of course Duncan soon realises what is going on and manages to turn the tables on the students . Funniest moment - Dick posing as a patient needing a cyst operation . When the students examine his leg , it turns out to be false ! |
401,142 | 7,743,887 | 675,769 | 9 | Hair Raising ! | Mr . Hedges is out with Penny when he notices they are being followed by a strange character in a trench-coat and fedora , and sporting a most unconvincing moustache . It is Frankie , living out his fantasy of being the new Bogart . Abbott begins stalking Potter , and draws swastikas on his greenhouse tomatoes . The caretaker becomes paranoid , convinced that someone from the G . L . C . is after him because of the innumerable perks he has enjoyed over the years , such as putting the headmaster's new office carpet in his living room . Mr . Cromwell , meantime , makes a final , desperate effort to win back Doris Ewell . He begins wearing trendy suits , and - wait for it - a toupee . . . Maureen was not the only heartbroken soul in Fenn Street School in Season 3 . Mr . Cromwell saw his beloved Doris go to Mr . Sibley , the careers adviser . Unlike Maureen , however , the headmaster did not entertain thoughts of joining a convent . Instead he tried to get ' with it ' ! In the episode's funniest scene , he enters the staff room wearing a wig even more ridiculous than the one Captain Mainwaring wore in the ' Dad's Army ' episode ' Keep Young & Beautiful ! ' |
401,516 | 7,743,887 | 675,775 | 9 | Frankie Says . . . | At long last , Duffy asks Sharon to go on a date . They go to a posh restaurant where they bump into - surprise , surprise - Mr . Hedges , Mr . Hodges and the rest of the Fenn Street School staff . Meanwhile , Maureen has taken pity on Frankie and agreed to a date . It is a disaster . Frankie is more interested in a pinball machine than the girl , and when a young man tries to rough him up , it is left to Maureen to defend him . As they walk home , Frankie is still doing his ' hard man ' act , but then Maureen calls him a sissy . To prove otherwise , he smashes the window of an off-licence . . . I was at school with a boy very much like Frankie Abbott . His name was Kevin Jones , and he loved to play at being ' Action Man ' in the playground , but whenever threatened by older boys he would run crying to the teachers . The main difference between him and Frankie is that the latter , though he gets on everyone's nerves , is still part of the ' gang ' . No-one seems to really dislike Frankie . Maureen would rather take responsibility for the broken window than see him get into trouble . Here we see the beginnings of the Sharon / Duffy relationship , which would develop over the course of the next series and well into ' The Fenn Street Gang ' . Terry Duggan , who plays the owner of the off-licence whose window Frankie has broken , is the husband of ' On The Buses ' star Anna Karen . Funniest moment - Craven has challenged Potter to put two full glasses on water on the back of his hands , to see if he can hold them there without a spilling a drop . Potter agrees . But then Craven rushes off , leaving the caretaker in a totally stupid situation ! |
400,874 | 7,743,887 | 563,104 | 9 | Casino Capers ! | Dave turns the students ' flat into a casino , and puts out leaflets advertising it as such . During a game of cards , Duncan is so hard up he gambles medical books instead of money . The leaflets attract the attention of local gangsters Malcolm ( Bernard Bresslaw ) and The Boss ( John Barcroft ) , and they warn the boys in no uncertain terms to jack it in . When the Dean finds out , he calls the students into his office , and lays down the law regarding gambling . Duncan and Mike are so short of money they get jobs at the very casino whose owner earlier had put them out of business . Mike is doorman , while Duncan is bartender . On their very first night , who should show up but those old hypocrites Loftus and the Dean . ' Carry On ' legend Bernard Bresslaw graces this Garden / Oddie penned episode as the thuggish ' Malcolm ' , who loves showing off his collection of scars . He played similar roles in movies , most notably ' Carry On Loving ' . Ernest Clark and Ralph Michael are particularly good here , sanctimoniously denouncing gambling then sneaking off to ' have a flutter ' . Their plans backfire when they first lose their money and then the police raid the place . Luckily , Duncan and Mike are on hand to show them a quick way out . Funniest moment - Duncan attempting to serve Loftus at the bar while keeping his face hidden . I must mention Yutte Stensgaard , who looks amazing dressed as a Playboy-style bunny girl ! |
401,603 | 7,743,887 | 675,763 | 9 | An Outbreak Of Dix ! | Fenn Street School's new P . E . teacher is Mr . Gregory Dix , who rules his class with a rod of bamboo . He enforces discipline to such an extent that even the teachers are terrified of him . Vain , arrogant , rude ( he openly sneers at Potter's war record ) , Dix canes anyone who dares disagree with him . Then he picks on George Duffy , younger brother of ex-pupil Eric , and the scene for a major confrontation is set . . . The children's comic ' Look-In ' carried a two-page strip based on ' Please Sir ! ' , and the departure of John Alderton and 5C must have been a nightmare for the writer , Angus P . Allan , especially seeing how the newer characters were dropped almost as quickly as they were installed . ' Herman ' , played by Brinsley Forde , was more visible in the strip than in the series ! ' Mr . Dix ' was written in too , before being dumped after only a few weeks . Written by film critic Tony Bilbow , this represents a return to form for the series following three dull episodes . The return of Peter Cleall as ' Duffy ' helps , as well as the fact that Glynn Edwards is genuinely menacing as ' Dix ' . The scene where he drives Potter to the point of tears is unexpectedly shocking , and for once the studio audience does not laugh at his discomfort . As it turns out , the Duffy / Dix dispute is resolved without a discourse to physical violence ( the teacher catches George's chicken pox ) , which is a pity in a way as it would have been satisfying to see the swine put in his place . Funniest moment - Duffy's opening monologue in which he describes the Fenn Street teachers to his brother . Not only funny , it works well as a restatement of the show's format . |
401,067 | 7,743,887 | 563,117 | 9 | Wedding Bells For Duncan & Kate ? | Duncan stuns his friends ( as well as Gascoigne ) by announcing his engagement to Kate . Dick sees a golden opportunity to clear his slate at the hospital bar by arranging a wedding reception . Andy does not understand why Duncan should want to get married , seeing how his own marriage has been a disaster . Gascoigne supplies Duncan with a load of unreadable books on married life . To escape from all this unwanted interference , Duncan and Kate decide to have a private ceremony at a registry office . But there's a surprise in store for their guests when they return to St . Swithin's . . . The final episode of ' Go ' and indeed the final episode of the L . W . T . ' Doctor ' series , seeing a resolution to the ongoing Duncan / Kate romance . Nice to see Peter Greene as the ' Chaplain ' again ; his last appearance was in the ' Doctor In Charge ' story ' The Garden Fete ' . Note the reference to Nurse Willett's ' little mistake ' ! I hope she knew who the dad was ! Though the the path was left clear for a further series , the option was not taken up , thus bringing to a close one of I . T . V . ' s biggest comedy successes . In the nine years since ' Doctor In The House ' began , the show had gotten through two leading men , several changes of setting ( including a stint on a passenger liner ) , numerous guest-stars such as Arthur Lowe , John Le Mesurier , David Jason , Freddie Jones , Patricia Routledge , William Franklyn and Bob Todd , a couple of ' Pythons ' and ' Goodies ' as scriptwriters , and , of course , countless pretty nurses . It had had a good run , so nobody was too upset at its passing . It also ended with its integrity intact , unlike ' On The Buses ' and ' Please Sir ! ' , both of which concluded with limp final runs . Besides , there were still repeats , and the ' Look-In ' comic-strip ran until 1978 . All was not over for Waring and Stuart-Clark though . Though L . W . T . had called time on their saucy exploits , they were still massively popular in Australia , which was why , two years later , they were recalled to duty for the spin-off ' Doctor Down Under ' . |
401,591 | 7,743,887 | 563,116 | 9 | Like Father , Like Son ! | Gascoigne's fabulously wealthy - not to mention insufferably rude and pompous - father is at St . Swithins , being treated for a head injury . He manages to make everyone around him miserable , including Loftus , with whom his wife had once had an affair . He refers to James somewhat disparagingly as ' Florence ' . Stuart-Clark tries fleecing the old man with a gambling scam , but he does not fall for it . Whenever Mr . Gascoigne upsets anyone , he insists its ' for your own good ' . A brief return to writing duties for Graham Chapman , working in collaboration with the then-unknown Douglas Adams . Don't expect any Hitch-Hiker-style humour here , however ; its an enjoyable if standard episode , based on the old ' problematic patient ' cliché , used countless times in the series before . Derek Francis is delightful as the bombastic Gervaise Gascoigne . Funniest moment - the look on Dick's face as the old devil turns the tables on his betting scam ! |
401,243 | 7,743,887 | 675,762 | 9 | Art For Art's Sake | Hedges tries to interest 5C in art , and asks each pupil to produce a picture . Most are awful , particularly Duffy's ( of traffic lights ) , Abbott's ( a man hanging from gallows ) , and Dennis's ( of his Auntie Flo - it bears a startling resemblance to the children's T . V . character ' Tivvy ' ) . Mr . Dowling , the art teacher , is impressed by one picture , that of a naked girl . Miss Ewell is appalled when she sees it . Hedges then recognises the face ( he had obviously been looking elsewhere ) as that of Sharon . But who drew it ? Dowling takes the picture into class and , much to Hedges ' horror , shows it to everyone . Cue lots of wolf-whistles and jeers . The artist makes herself known - it is Sharon herself . . . Good second episode this , with the cast settling down nicely into their roles , though Frankie has yet to display his penchant for ludicrous macho boasting , and Potter has yet to fawn and grovel to Mr . Cromwell . Michael Burrell , good as the ' E . N . T Registar ' in the ' Doctor At Large ' episode ' Now . . . Dr . Upton ' , guests as the camp art teacher Mr . Dowling . Funniest moment - Frankie's desk gushing smoke ( he had earlier been having a crafty fag ) as he lifts the lid ! |
401,140 | 7,743,887 | 675,767 | 9 | You've got a potato in your shoe ! | Hedges tries to interest 5C in politics by staging a mock debate in class , but Maureen is totally disinterested . Disillusioned with life , she has taken to dressing like an American hippie , and disrupts class by go-go dancing . She has fallen under the spell of a strange individual called ' Dorian ' , who urges her to reject society and its materialistic values . Hedges takes 5C to the local Conservative Club where , unsurprisingly , they fail to fit in . Potter is there too , attempting to boost his chances of membership . The following morning , the Club reports the theft of a valuable silver cup , and the finger of suspicion points at 5C . . . Another fine episode from Season 3 . With increasing numbers of young people ( particularly in the United States ) deciding to ' drop out ' of university and set up communes , its also interesting from a historical perspective . ' Dorian ' is never seen , and doesn't need to be . He does not have Maureen's best interests at heart . She thought she was stealing the cup as a political gesture . He just wanted to sell it for quick cash . With so many modern comedies firmly on the side of youth culture , its hard to believe there was a time when the opposite was the norm . Only ' Billy Liar ' in 1973 presented hippies in anything resembling a positive light ( ' Billy & The Cornish Split ' ) . Funniest moment - Hedges losing his shoe in the Con Club , and trying to get it back without anyone noticing . I don't care if Peter Sellers did do it better in ' The Party ' ( 1968 ) ! Second funniest moment - during the search for Maureen , Miss Ewell accidentally interrupts a heavy petting couple . The man can plainly be seen mouthing the words : " Eff off , you old cow ! " . |
401,560 | 7,743,887 | 675,765 | 9 | Dennis Does A Steptoe ! | Its the start of a new school term . Due to a monumental cock-up on Potter's part , none of the classrooms has desks or chairs . Hedges has an even bigger problem - apart from Maureen , 5C has failed to turn up for lessons . He finds most of them in a café , while Sharon is sunbathing on a boating lake . Being so close to their graduation , they do not think it worth it going to school anymore . Dennis has landed a job as a rag and bone man . Furious that someone should exploit ' child ' labour , Hedges heads off to Clarkie's yard to have it out with him . . . The penultimate series of ' Please Sir ! ' opens with a situation many pupils would have been familiar with . As soon as the end of a term was within sight ( say about one month ) , no-one could be bothered to go in . Those who did usually wound up playing chess and draughts , because the teachers had no work for them . The lovely Jill Kerman makes her debut as Hedges ' girlfriend ' Penny Wheeler ' . They are familiar to one another at the start . Fans would have to wait for the movie the following year to learn the full story of how they met . Bob Todd is seen as the ' boating lake attendant ' . He also played a bus conductor in the very first episode ' The Welcome Mat ' . Hedges ' encounter with totter ' Clarkie ' is especially interesting ; instead of uncouth and ignorant , he turns out to be rather intelligent . The curious title is the strange cry uttered by rag and bone men as they go on their rounds . Funniest moment - Hedges , in a boat , tries to get back to shore . The handle that works the paddles comes off in his hand . He throws it back to the red-faced attendant , who fails to catch it , and pitches headlong into the water . |
400,788 | 7,743,887 | 563,035 | 9 | There's a banana sticking out of your pocket ! | The Purser finds a pair of trousers on deck . Inside is written the name ' Manuel Sanchez ' . Checking the passenger list , he finds no-one of that name is officially aboard , hence the M . S . Begonia has acquired a stowaway . As a hunt gets underway , Dick goes back to his cabin . Manuel is hiding in the wardrobe . The Spaniard went to England to work but started pining for his fiancée . Lacking the funds to go home to Tenerife , he hid himself away on the ship . Stuart-Clark took pity on him and has been stealing food . Duncan finds him too , and also begins stealing food . When the doctors realise what the other is up to , they pool their resources in order to get Manuel safely off the ship . . . David Jason plays ' Manuel ' . He had earlier appeared in the ' In The House ' episode ' What Seems To Be The Trouble ? ' as ' Mr . Drobnic ' , and in the ' At Large ' instalment ' Let's Start At The Beginning ' as the behaviourally challenged ' Victor Bligh ' ( we must not overlook his memorable contribution to that same season's ' Congratulations ! Its A Toad ! ' - he voiced the toad ! ) . He gives a wonderful performance as ' Manuel ' . Forget the comic accent , just check out his body language . Humphrey Barclay liked Jason so much he gave him his own series that year - the unfairly forgotten spy spoof ' The Top Secret Life Of Edgar Briggs ' . It does seem a little odd though for Stuart-Clark to be openly aiding a stowaway with no profit whatever to himself . Perhaps its the first sign of change in his character ( which would be completed by the time of ' Doctor At The Top ' ) . Funniest moment - Manuel repeatedly coming out of a wardrobe to make food requests to Duncan . Top marks for Bob Todd too for being such a good sport by doing the swimming pool gag . |
401,331 | 7,743,887 | 563,033 | 9 | There is no such thing as a strike at sea ! | Concerned at the number of chitties ( medical certificates ) being issued to the ship's crew , Captain Loftus orders that the practice must cease . Dick persuades Duncan that the chitties have been issued for legitimate reasons , namely that the crew really are ill . An angry Duncan protests against Loftus ' decision by organising industrial action , which in nautical parlance is known as a ' mutiny ' . . . George Layton and Jonathan Lynn deliver the goods once again ; a funny script which pits Duncan's ' Fletcher Christian ' against Loftus ' ' Captain Bligh ' . Of course the mutiny doesn't go smoothly , and Dick finally comes clean and admits he has been selling the chitties to the crew . Bob Todd is introduced as the permanently depressed ' Entertainments Officer ' . He appeared as a police sergeant in the ' In Charge ' episode ' Which Doctor ? ' . Funniest moment - the Entertainments Officer going for a dip in the pool , only to find out that it is empty ! There's a ' Billy Liar'-type dream sequence in which Duncan sees himself as the hero of a pirate movie and with Loftus as ' Long John Silver ' . The action is courtesy of ' Havoc ' , a stunt team who also worked on some of the Jon Pertwee episodes of ' Dr . Who ' . Ten lashes to the person who decided it needed to be shot through a red filter . |
400,785 | 7,743,887 | 563,036 | 9 | Stranded ! | Captain Loftus summons Duncan to his cabin . He is fed up at both him and Stuart-Clark forever being late to return to the ship whenever it docks at some sun-kissed port . Dick uses the same excuse every time : " I was at my grandmother's funeral ! " . Actually , the doctors are always drunk and enjoying the company of the local girls . On their latest port of call in the Mediterranean , Duncan and Dick are left stranded when the M . S . Begonia sets sail without them . Dick uses what's left of his money to buy a small motor boat . En route it runs out of petrol . Dick thought it more important to bring along wine than a can of reserve fuel . So now they are stuck in the middle of the Med , their ship nowhere in sight . . . Gail Renard was the only female writer to work on the ' Doctor ' series , and her scripts are no less sexist than those of the men . This one is very good indeed , putting our heroes in a seemingly impossible situation . Nedwell and Davies quarrelling over whose fault it all is is hilarious . Its not quite a two-hander though , as we keep going back to the ship to see how the Purser is coping with the irritating Entertainments Officer , a man with a corny quip for every occasion . Captain Loftus ' dependency on Duncan for ' stomach mixture ' was also a story element of the film ' Doctor In Trouble ' . It does seem unlikely that the M . S . Begonia could locate the doctors so easily , but I expect that Renard had painted herself into a corner with this story . One of the few episodes to boast overseas location filming , by the way . Maybe the expense involved was a contributory factor in ' At Sea ' not being recommissioned . Funniest moment - spotting the M . S . Begonia , Dick goes to signal their position by waving an oar , and in so doing accidentally knocks Duncan into the drink . |
400,907 | 7,743,887 | 563,031 | 9 | I want to see the Major ! | Upton and Paul join Dr . Maxwell's practice , located in a shabby part of London . The retired army major has a beautiful daughter ( Zsuzonga , whom everyone calls Sue ) to whom Mike is instantly attracted . But Maxwell's patients , including a small boy , think that because Upton is young he isn't sufficiently qualified , and refuse his treatment . But the wily Maxwell comes up with a plan to get them to accept him . . . Arthur Lowe makes his debut as ' Dr . Maxwell ' , a gentler , less pompous version of ' Captain Mainwaring ' , with the delectable Madeline Smith ( who seems to have been in every British comedy series of the ' 70's ) as his receptionist / daughter . This episode is an attack on ageism ; Upton's youth is considered a handicap by older patients who prefer the firm touch of experience to youthful energy . Funniest moment - Mrs . Baxter telling Upton that her urinary incontinence is due to there being ' a maggot in her kidneys ' which got there from an apple she ate when she was a little girl ! |
401,506 | 7,743,887 | 563,029 | 9 | This isn't medicine ! | Upton goes after a job at Dr . Whiteland's Harley Street practice . He turns up for the interview in casual clothes . Dick , who works there already , gives Upton his suit and tells him what to say . Dr . Whiteland turns out to be a snobbish elderly woman whose patients are mainly rich hypochondriacs . He gets the job but soon becomes bored as there is no real work for him to do . Paul is jealous at Mike's good fortune and turns up at the practice dressed as a smelly yokel . Furthermore , he has brought along a working class family - The Coates ' - all of whom are covered in lice and sores . . . Private medicine gets it in the neck in this Garden / Oddie scripted episode . Upton reveals himself to be a socialist , but to get the job has to pretend to be a Tory voter . This political stance fits in well with his later attack on the system . Rather than throw him out on his ear , Dr . Whiteland agrees with what he has to say , and tells him she has been simultaneously running a clinic in Brixton , as well as a drug treatment centre , a rare example of a comic character turning sympathetic . Ivor Dean , seen as Dr . Whiteland's butler ' Jarvis ' , was best known for his role as ' Inspector Teal ' in the Roger Moore ' Saint ' series . Funniest moment - Paul's yokel moment , which causes even Barry Evans to laugh ! |
400,902 | 7,743,887 | 563,009 | 9 | Night Of The Croaking Terror ! | Paul brings a sack of toads to Dr . Maxwell's surgery , intending to use them in pregnancy tests . But these all prove wildly inaccurate , mainly due to his ' toads ' being frogs , and male ones at that ! Soon the creatures are hopping all over the place , turning up in the bath , and laying frog spawn in saucepans and ice buckets . A visit from Dr . Mackendrick proves problematic - the ice in his whisky contains a tadpole . But how to get it out before he can swallow it ? It's fair to assume that David Jason doesn't regard this as a career highpoint . His contribution consists of ' yippit ! ' . Fulton Mackay was two years away from becoming ' Mr . Mackay ' in that timeless classic ' Porridge ' . Kate Williams would later play ' Joan Booth ' in ' Love Thy Neighbour ' . The funniest moment here however belongs to Arthur Lowe , as he attempts to get the ice from Mackendrick's glass without him noticing . If you don't laugh at this , you've no sense of humour . |
401,593 | 7,743,887 | 563,013 | 9 | The wart ! Its coming back ! | Upton and Paul notice that their surgeries are getting decidedly smaller . They have a rival - Audrey Watt - a local widow who claims to be a white witch , and is curing people with ancient remedies . Even Dr . Griffin is receiving treatment from her for his wart . Paul is horrified to discover that by creeping around her secret laboratory he has invoked an ancient curse . In desperation , he turns to the black arts to try and neutralise Audrey's powers . . . Patricia Routledge's ' Audrey ' isn't far removed from the spiritualist - Madame Fontana - she played in the classic ' Steptoe & Son ' episode ' Seance In A Wet Rag & Bone Yard ' . Interestingly , the script seems to infer that Audrey's mystical powers are genuine . Funniest moment - Paul thinking that he may now be impotent because of the curse . Mollie Sugden , who plays ' Mrs . Mollett ' , would reappear in ' Doctor In Charge ' as the mother of ' Dr . Duncan Waring ' . |
401,486 | 7,743,887 | 70,868 | 9 | From The Crypt To The Vault | Five men enter an elevator in a London building . Instead of taking them to the ground floor , it whisks them to a basement , where they become hopelessly trapped . While they wait to be rescued , they pass the time by telling each other their most recent ( and strange ) dreams . Rogers ( Daniel Massey ) tracks down his missing sister to a strange town and kills her . She had recently inherited the family fortune , which he wants for himself . But he did not know that she had become a vampire . . . Critchit ( Terry-Thomas ) , a man of fastidious habits and with an obsession for neatness , marries the lovely Eleanor ( Glynis Johns ) . His constant complaining about her untidiness drives her mad , and he winds up inside his collection of storage jars . . . Sebastian ( Curt Jurgens ) is a professional stage magician . After seeing the Indian Rope Trick for himself , he is impressed sufficiently to want it for his own act and resorts to murder . He now has enough rope to hang himself . . . Maitland ( Michael Craig ) comes up with the perfect insurance scam . He takes a drug designed to simulate a heart attack , and then arranges for a friend ( Edward Judd ) to collect the money , then go the cemetery where he is buried and dig him up . But the unexpected intervention of a pair of medical students causes him to lose his head . . . Moore ( Tom Baker ) is an artist who acquires voodoo powers in Haiti . From now on , anything he paints comes magically to life . Returning to London , he uses this ability to avenge himself on the three art dealers / critics who swindled him out of a fortune . . . One year after the financially successful ' Tales From The Crypt ' , Amicus were back with more weird tales from the E . C . Comics ' back catalogue , all vividly brought to life by a fine British ( apart from Curt Jurgens ) cast . With the likes of Arthur Mullard ( as a gravedigger ) , Tommy Godfrey , Robin Nedwell , Geoffrey Davies , and Terry-Thomas around , it is fair to say that this is hardly ' The Exorcist ' ( which also opened that year ) though . What it is is an entertaining horror picture boasting good stories and nice black comedy touches . The casting of Nedwell and Davies as medical students was in itself a joke , as they were known for their roles as ' Dr . Duncan Waring ' and ' Dr . Dick Stuart-Clark ' in I . T . V . ' s ' Doctor ' series . For copyright reasons , they had to be renamed ' Tom ' and ' Jerry ' ! ( why didn't Hanna Barbera kick up a stink about that ? ) . When Steve Coogan did a spoof of this movie for his ' Dr . Terrible's House Of Horrible ' show a few years back , it fell flat because the original was funny to start with . Logic occasionally goes out of the window . Why does Maitland so implicitly trust his friend to dig him up out of the grave ? Why does Rogers have a meal in a restaurant only a few yards from the spot where he just killed his sister ? Why does the air in Moore's safe take so long to run out ? Answers on a headstone please . The cast are , as one would expect , marvellous . Tom Baker is suitably menacing in one of his last roles before putting on his scarf and hat to become the fourth ' Dr . Who ' . Terry-Thomas is hilarious as the ever-so neat and tidy Critchit , a sort of English ' Felix Ungar ' from ' The Odd Couple ' . Distinguished thesps Denholm Elliott and Terence Alexander are also around . The late Daniel Massey appears opposite his real-life sister Anna , a neat bit of novelty casting Amicus pulled off again in 1975 when ' From Beyond The Grave ' teamed Donald Pleasence with daughter Angela . Getting top-draw actors to commit themselves to a few days ' filming worked a treat and was preferable ( in my eyes , at least ) to watching talentless teenagers pretending to be scared by a loony in a fright mask . ' Vault ' has for a long time played on television in a cut version , without the scene where Rogers is hung upside down by vampires who then drink his blood through a tap they installed in his neck . That was in the most recent version I saw ( on Film 4 ) , although the climax where the trapped men turn into walking corpses still is missing . The ending is never in any real doubt of course . Anyone who saw even one of Amicus ' earlier multi-storey horror pictures will be able to predict it well in advance . But if you like your horror slightly refined , and not just consisting of non-stop blood and gore , you should seriously consider opening this particular vault . |
400,620 | 7,743,887 | 63,936 | 9 | Oh Arthur , Can I Take My Nightie Off ? . " Zzzzzzzzzzzzz " . | British working class sitcoms were in vogue in the late ' 60's and early ' 70's , such as ' Steptoe & Son ' , ' Till Death Us Do Part ' , and , of course , this . Incredibly , the B . B . C . turned ' On The Buses ' down even though the writers had devised the highly popular ' The Rag Trade ' . London Weekend Television profited by their mistake . ' On The Buses ' boasted a terrific cast and ( for the most part ) very funny scripts . Viewers cheered as driver Stan Butler and conductor Jack Harper frequently got one over the pompous Inspector ' Blakey ' Blake . All over the country , his catchphrase " I ' ate you , Butler " could be heard in workplaces and playgrounds . And as for the sexy ' clippies ' . . . sorry , feminists , but they really did exist , I'm afraid . My favourite characters were the dowdy Olive and her grumpy husband Arthur . Even when the punchlines could be seen coming a mile off , they were usually delivered with panache and immaculate comic timing . Three movies were made , none as funny as the original , and a stage version in Canada in the late ' 80's . Its impossible to explain the show's appeal to young people , but it struck a chord with millions of viewers , and should not be dismissed lightly . |
401,074 | 7,743,887 | 563,069 | 9 | The Patter Of Tiny ( Badger's ) Feet ! | Bingham wants to start a family , and asks Duncan to be godfather , but there's a catch - he hasn't actually told his wife . He pleads with Duncan to ask on his behalf . Reluctantly , Duncan agrees . Mary is horrified - she had banked on having a career . Duncan is caught in the crossfire as the Binghams argue in their living room . Soon Stuart-Clark and Collier are taking sides . The angry mood spills over into the operating theatre , as the doctors endeavour to perform an operation without actually talking to one another . Duncan looks for a way to resolve the dispute before someone seriously gets hurt . . . The final appearance of Helen Fraser as ' Dr . Mary Bingham ' . Married life does not appear to have changed her very much ; she still talks like a fluffy bunny , and calls Duncan ' Dunky ' . With Richard O'Sullivan about to leave , there was no way she could stay in the show . Had ' Man About The House ' not taken off , I think a spin-off featuring the Binghams would have worked . Funniest moment - Duncan and Dick confronting one another in a corridor like cowboys about to have a gunfight . Dick blows cigar smoke in his friend's face . Whether that was in the script or not I do not know but I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't . |
401,604 | 7,743,887 | 563,068 | 9 | A Fete Worse Than Death ! | Loftus asks Duncan , Paul , Dick and Bingham to come up with ideas for the 1973 St . Swithins Annual Garden Fete . Duncan wants a beauty contest , Paul wishes to do conjuring tricks ( as ' The Great Collieto ' ) , Dick ( rather bizarrely ) suggests a puppet show , and Bingham's big idea is . . . donkey rides . Duncan is horrified when he learns his current girlfriend Annabel is to be one of the beauty contest contestants . Paul's expertise at magic rivals that of Tommy Cooper . Bingham's donkeys turn up four days early ( which means he has to hide them in one of the lecture theatres ) , while Dick's puppet show turns out to be a sneaky ploy to sell beer . . . Almost every sitcom at one time or another has featured a plot about a garden fête , from ' Terry & June ' to ' Father Ted ' . This Phil Redmond scripted episode , though playing on familiar turf , manages to be good fun . Though referred to ( she's one of the contestants ) , Helen Fraser's ' Mary Bingham ' is not in this episode . The oft-mentioned ' Nurse Doreen Willett ' is again played by Andrea Lawrence ( last seen in the ' Doctor At Large ' episode ' Pull The Other One ' ) . Funniest moment - Loftus attacked by Mr . Punch ! |
401,330 | 7,743,887 | 635,124 | 10 | Logan Runs Out Of Time | Logan , Jessica and Rem witness the arrival of a strange machine amidst some old ruins . Inside is a box containing a rabbit . The machine vanishes - taking Logan's gun with it - reappearing in the headquarters of ' The Sanctuary Project ' - a time travel experiment some 200 years in the past . Its creator , David Eakins , visits the future to meet Logan and his friends . But does not let on where he really comes from . Some time later , the Solarcraft arrives at ' Sanctuary ' , where the people live a simple , carefree existence , yet lack basic medical and scientific knowledge . It is not the ' Sanctuary ' Logan and Jessica are looking for . Eakins recognises the ' temple ' in which they worship as the Sanctuary Project headquarters . Within its computer banks is vital knowledge - details of how the Nuclear Holocaust started . Eakins confides to his friends that he intends returning to his own time , to try and prevent the wars from happening . Logan is faced with an intriguing dilemma - should he help Eakins change history , knowing full well that in so doing he and Jessica will cease to exist ? Penned by David Gerrold under the name ' Noah Ward ' , this excellent episode is unusually complex by the standards of ' 70's prime time U . S . television ; the ideas involved are fascinating , such as the ' Sanctuary ' community where the inhabitants are named after types of computer . The late Paul Shenar gives a fine performance as ' Eakins ' , one almost wishes he'd been written in as a regular . ' The Sanctuary Project ' headquarters looks not unlike a scaled-down version of ' Project Tik-Tok ' from Irwin Allen's ' The Time Tunnel ' . The final sting in the tale is both unexpected and flawlessly logical . Episodes such as this make you wish ' Logan's Run ' had lasted a lot longer . |
400,623 | 7,743,887 | 367,305 | 10 | Has Anyone Seen Kelly ? | I read recently on a ' lost shows ' website how many complete editions of Granada's T . V . ' s ' Clapperboard ' currently survive . The depressing answer was this - very few . It was a long-running children's programme about cinema . Screened on Monday afternoons , it began as an earnest look at film genres ( westerns , sci-fi , musicals , comedies etc . ) but as it progressed changed into something more akin to an Open University programme . Very few children would have known exactly who the programmes were about . One was devoted to the film music of Ron Goodwin , another to the work of Ken Adam ( set designer of the Bond films ) , others profiled cinematographer Freddie Young , Edward Fox , Jacques Tati , William Goldman , Frank Launder & Sidney Gilliat , Gloria Grahame , and Richard Attenborough . To tie-in with the television debut of ' Space : 1999 ' , Gerry Anderson was put in the spotlight . It is highly unlikely that such an eclectic programme would get on air today . The presenter , Chris Kelly , was in his thirties , and reviewed films in a laid back , confidant style akin to Barry Norman's , there was no attempt to pander to younger viewers . He was brave enough to put the boot into the film ' Grease ' for one thing ! You sensed he was having fun doing the show . Credit for its success not only belongs to him but to producer Muriel Young , herself a former presenter . When ' Clapperboard ' was axed in 1982 , it left a huge void in children's television , one that is still sadly waiting to be filled . |
401,453 | 7,743,887 | 204,773 | 10 | Hullo ! Siadwel here ! | ' A Kick Up The Eighties ' and ' Laugh ? I Nearly Paid My Licence Fee ! ' laid the groundwork for this classic sketch show which , despite spawning two spin-offs - ' Rab C . Nesbitt ' and ' The Baldy Man ' - strangely seems to have fallen off the radar . The early editions opened with Andy Gray and Helen Lederer reading spoof news items similar to those of ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' . Lederer herself wrote and performed monologues in which she played a tipsy bimbo . My favourite recurring character though was Siadwel , a geeky Welsh poet played to perfection by John Sparkes . In filthy anorak and N . H . S . spectacles , Siadwel regaled us with such stunning observations on life as : " Uncle Pob wouldn't put his dog in the kennels before going on holiday . He said it was cruel . So he drowned him . " . Sparkes eventually left to appear in Channel 4's ' Absolutely ' . Later programmes had Gregor Fisher as Gus , the boisterous newsreader of the Outer Hebrides Broadcasting Corporation ( O . H . B . C . ) . Some of the humour could be sick , such as the man accidentally decapitating commuters with a hedge trimmer . One particularly brilliant sketch featured the cast as ' The Broons ' , a comic-strip Scottish family well known to readers of ' The Sunday Post ' . Each show closed with Thatcher roaring like the M . G . M . lion . This was later changed to John Major issuing a mouse-like squeak ! Special mention should be made of David McNiven and his wonderful songs . ' Naked Video ' was , for my money , one of the best sketch shows the B . B . C . has ever made . |
401,328 | 7,743,887 | 182,580 | 10 | Ray and Alan's Funhouse | Its rare for writers ' names to be incorporated into the titles of their shows - even Johnny Speight never managed it - but by 1977 , Ray Galton and Alan Simpson had engendered enough respect and affection from within the industry and general public for it to occur . Their faces were to be seen in the opening titles , with Ken Jones ' brass-band signature tune incorporating the clicking of typewriter keys . The series got off to a magnificent start with ' Car Along The Pass ' , boasting Arthur Lowe in sparkling form as a pompous xenophobe trapped in a cable-car over the Austrian Alps with assorted foreign tourists . His opening line to wife Mona Washbourne summed up his character : " This is the worst holiday we have ever had . . . we have both spent over £18 each . " . With ' Dad's Army ' about to end , it looked as though Arthur had a potential solo hit on his hands , but it was not to be . None of the ' Playhouses ' made it to series form , some such as ' Naught For Thy Comfort ' and ' Variations On A Theme ' seemed written purely as stand-alone affairs . ' Swap You One Of These For One Of Those ' was a left-over from ' Casanova 73 ' ( hard to credit it now , but ' The Sun ' complained before its broadcast that wife-swapping was not suitable for television ! ) . Another outstanding show ' I Tell You Its Burt Reynolds ' featured Leonard Rossiter as a buffoon who becomes convinced he has spotted the macho movie star in a T . V . show . His madness escalates , and Rossiter turns in his best performance since Rigsby . ' Big Deal At York City ' was good fun too , with Warren Mitchell as a lucky soul who's had a good day at the races , only to be preyed upon by card sharks on a train . Neat twist at the end . The seven shows were as good as any of their past work , had high production values , and were wonderfully cast . ' The News Of The World ' invited readers to select the episode with the best series potential . What the result would have been we shall never know , because Alan Simpson retired suddenly , leaving Ray to team up with Johnny Speight . However , they reunited briefly in the mid-90's to update some of their material for Paul Merton . For a farewell , ' Playhouse ' was not at all bad . A D . V . D . release would be more than welcome . |
401,201 | 7,743,887 | 61,247 | 10 | ' Monty Python ' Junior | If it were possible to go through the whole of ' Monty Python ' and take out the adult material , what you'd be left with is ' Do Not Adjust Your Set ' . This delightfully anarchic show was loved by British children in the late ' 60's ( I was one ) and gave Michael Palin , Terry Jones and Eric Idle useful television exposure . Like the much later ' Tiswas ' , it revelled in its own silliness . David Jason and sexy Denise Coffey provided support , as well as writing and appearing in a ' Batman ' spoof , made on film , entitled ' The Life & Times Of Captain Fantastic ' ( such was its popularity that it went on to be a regular item in the magazine programme ' Magpie ' ) . It is to their credit that they managed to hold their own in such esteemed company . When Michael Palin fell ill one week , Tim Brooke-Taylor ( dressed as a frogman ) from ' At Last The 1948 Show ' took his place . But the real stars for me were ' The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band ' . Their witty , tuneful songs ( such as ' By A Waterfall ' and ' I'm The Urban Spaceman ' ) made the show . Their lead singer , the late Vivian Stanshall , looked like a hippie version of Leslie Phillips ; he really should have done more in the field of comedy writing and performing . Terry Gilliam came aboard for the second season , providing animations ( including a superb one about Christmas cards ) similar to the ones he later did in ' Python ' . When Channel 4 repeated the Christmas Special ( ' Do Not Adjust Your Stocking ' ) in the ' 80's , David Jason , for reasons best known to himself , refused to allow his footage to be included . If you love ' Python ' , you should love this too . And remember : the evil Mrs . Black and her Blit Men are still lurking out there somewhere . . . |
400,669 | 7,743,887 | 54,518 | 10 | Mrs . Peel , We're Needed ! | ' The Avengers ' is one of the most successful television shows ever made in Britain , and stands up extremely well forty years later . It starred Ian Hendry originally as ' Dr . David Keel ' , a medic turned investigator after his fiancée is killed by the underworld . His partner ' John Steed ' was played by Patrick Macnee . Initially , Steed was a trenchcoat-wearing spook no different from a thousand others , but as the series progressed he evolved into the suave , bowler-hatted , umbrella-carrying secret agent we all know and love , the quintessential gentleman spy . When Hendry dropped out , they replaced him with Honor Blackman as the karate-chopping ' Mrs . Cathy Gale ' . The show took off . Honor left after two seasons to co-star in the Bond classic ' Goldfinger ' . After a false start with Elisabeth Shepherd , the producers sensibly cast Diana Rigg as ' Mrs . Emma Peel ' . Of all the actresses to have played his sexy sidekicks , she was the one who made the greatest impact . Her arrival coincided with a move onto film , and the plots got wilder ! The pair would be called on to solve the most outrageous crimes imaginable , bringing them into contact with fiendishly clever diabolical masterminds . The new-look ' Avengers ' was a smash hit in the U . S . A . precisely because it made no attempt to pander to American tastes . From the very moment the classy opening titles and marvellous Laurie Johnson theme tune burst onto the screen , it has a polish that positively dazzles . Where else would you get to see Ronnie Barker training cats to become assassins , a fight where the protagonists wear anti-gravity boots , bird seed spilling out of a dead man's chest , Clive Dunn killed by a ' Jack-In-The-Box ' , Paul Eddington regressing to childhood after touching a bouncy ball , John Cleese as a collector of eggs bearing the faces of clowns , a computer that writes romantic fiction , invisible spies , Venusian death-rays , rain-making machines , man-eating plants from space , amnesia-inducing milk , guns that destroy nothing except wood , British Rail ticket collectors out to take over the country , miniaturisation machines , underground cities , a village where for a price you can commit murder and the locals provide you with an alibi , and an assassination bureau masquerading as a dating agency . Nowhere except ' The Avengers ' . If you've never seen an episode , give it a whirl . You'll like it . Rigg left in 1967 and the unknown Linda Thorson took her place as ' Tara King ' . The Thorson series is in my view the highpoint of the show . But in America it was badly scheduled and ended after 32 episodes . ' The Avengers ' returned in 1976 as ' The New Avengers ' , teaming Steed with Gareth Hunt's ' Mike Gambit ' and ' Joanna Lumley's ' Purdey ' . Two seasons were made . The Rigg shows were repeated by Channel 4 in 1982 at the ungodly time of 12 . 55 a . m . on Sundays . However , it proved so popular it was eventually promoted to peak-time Sunday evening . Recent repeats have taken place on Sky's now-defunct Granada Plus , and B . B . C . - 4 . In 1998 , ' The Avengers ' was made into a movie starring Ralph Fiennes , Uma Thurman , and Sean Connery . Though not well received at the time , it has developed something of a cult following . A campaign is presently underway to secure a Director's Cut D . V . D . release . I loved ' The Avengers ' as a boy , and love it still . It gets better the further away from the ' 60's we get . |
401,444 | 7,743,887 | 72,577 | 10 | Robert , will you let in some fresh air ? . " No , Madam ! " . | Seeing as how no-one from the U . K . has commented on this wonderful show , I thought I'd be the first . ' Two's Company ' was a kind of British ' Odd Couple ' ; it starred Elaine Stritch as bestselling American writer ' Dorothy McNab ' , with Donald Sinden as her snooty , sarcastic English butler ' Robert ' . There was an occasional ' battle of the sexes ' feel to the show , but mostly it was culture-clash humour . It was rare to find an I . T . V . sitcom in the ' 70's that featured wit , as opposed to belly laughs . Some of Robert's put-downs were priceless ; he told an Australian home-help in one episode : " Regrettably , we have no billy cans for you to drink from . But if you like , I can always arrange a small saucepan ! " . Complaining about the number of parked cars outside her home , Dorothy is told : " I'll get the police to tow them away , Madam ! " . Despite their constant bickering , there was an unspoken bound of affection between Dorothy and Robert . There had to be , or else she could easily have fired him . ' Two's Company ' , whilst never a big ratings hit for I . T . V . , was nevertheless popular , and lasted several seasons . Greg Smith , producer of the ' Confessions ' movies , wanted to make a big screen version with Lucille Ball replacing Elaine Stritch , to make it saleable to the American public . It never got made . However , the format was bought by U . S . television , and reworked as the dreadful ' The Two Of Us ' , with an utterly miscast Peter Cook in the Sinden role . |
401,255 | 7,743,887 | 530,742 | 10 | Majestic Mayhem ! | Eric Chappell said that he gave up writing sitcoms when the men in suits at I . T . V . began asking whenever he submitted new ideas for shows ' how is this relevant to the modern world ? ' rather than ' is it funny ? ' . This second episode of ' The Bounder ' is very funny indeed . It is Trevor and Mary's 15th wedding anniversary , and Howard - eager to disguise the fact he has not remembered it - claims to have booked a table for two at The Majestic . The thing is , he has not , and the trio inadvertently gate-crash a private function , a reunion of old Etonians . Howard tries to bluff his way out of trouble by pretending to be a rugby-playing student called ' Bodger Booth ' . He then begins complaining about the quality of the food ( giving him an excuse to taste the stuff ) to the head waiter , Wilson ( Ronnie Stevens ) . He is quickly rumbled however when Wilson calls Head Office , and Trevor and Mary suspect something is wrong when prawn cocktails vanish from their table . . . Some very good actors in this - Glyn Owen , Alan Curtis , Ronnie Stevens , and Dennis Ramsden ( ' Reggie Perrin ' fans may remember the latter as ' Dr . ' Baldy ' Hump ' from the first season ) , but as ever it is Bowles who shines . He is wonderful throughout . As Howard's lies spiral out of control , it is poor Trevor who gets debagged by the old Etonians , his trousers flung onto the floor as Howard and Mary dance . Funniest moment - Howard attempting to make off with a large platter of salmon , only to be unexpectedly called upon to give a speech to the gathering . |
401,673 | 7,743,887 | 80,339 | 10 | Do you watch movies about gladiators ? | ' Airplane ! ' was released in Britain in the summer of 1980 to zero publicity . The poster I saw did not even make clear it was a comedy . I bought a ticket expecting a rip-off of the ' Airport ' disaster movies , and was astounded to find an uproarious spoof , the best film Mel Brooks never made . Loosely based on Arthur Hailey's novel ' Flight Into Danger ' , the film begins with an airplane crew succumbing to food poisoning mid-flight . The lives of the passengers therefore rest on two hopes : a ) finding someone who can fly a plane and b ) did not have fish for dinner . Enter nervous pilot Ted Striker . Incorporated into this premise are hilarious flashbacks to Striker's doomed romance with stewardess Elaine , these include spoofs of ' From Here To Eternity ' and ' Saturday Night Fever ' . The jokes come thick and fast , some don't work but most are on target . Jim Abrahams , Jerry and David Zucker were not the first to spoof ' 70's disaster movies ; James Frawley's ' The Big Bus ' beat them to it by about five years , but both films are excellent on their own terms . Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty are fine as the romantic leads , and words cannot describe the shock of seeing Leslie Nielsen sending himself up rotten as ' Dr . Rumack ' . He had appeared in a real disaster picture several years before - ' The Poseidon Adventure ' . Likewise those old-timers Lloyd Bridges and Robert Stack throw themselves into the fun , delivering the absurd lines with commendably straight faces . I do not think Peter ' Mission : Impossible ' Graves ' paedophile Captain Oveur would be considered amusing today ! Upstaging the cast though is ' Otto The Auto-Pilot ' - an inflatable doll who not only drives the plane but gets fresh with the stewardess . ' Airplane ! ' is widely credited with having destroyed the disaster movie genre , much as ' Blazing Saddles ' did with the Western . Actually , it had burnt itself out well before 1980 , as anyone who saw ' Beyond The Poseidon Adventure ' and ' Airport 79 : The Concorde ' will testify . All ' Airplane ! ' did was to hammer home the final nail in the coffin . With absolutely no sense of irony , B . B . C . - 1 chose as its big Christmas Day movie offering that year - Charlton Heston in ' Airport 1975 ' . Coming only a few months after the release of ' Airplane ! ' it was impossible to view this turkey with a straight face . One person who could not possibly have seen ' Airplane ! ' was Robert Butler . His 1997 picture ' Turbulence ' ( starring Ray Liotta ) was a virtual remake , minus the jokes . Funniest moment - the passengers lining up to slap a hysterical woman , many equipped with items designed to inflict maximum injury ! |
400,728 | 7,743,887 | 244,927 | 10 | Hullo and welcome to Dirty Dick's | I have a vague memory of watching a very funny show on New Year's Eve sometime in the early Eighties , starring the late , great Rikki Fulton . As I was in the grip of alcohol at the time , its title did not register in my memory , but I knew it to be good . Ever since then I've wanted to know , and see more about this whimsical show . I'm greatly indebted to my friend Powrman for recommending ' Scotch & Wry ' . This long-running sketch show from B . B . C . Scotland was never networked ( apart from the 1982 Special ) . Presumably the suits thought it too parochial , but if so they were wrong . Having recently watched a number of shows on D . V . D . , I can say with absolute confidence its one of the funniest shows I've ever seen . The sketches were fairly long - some running as long as seven minutes - but this was an asset rather than a drawback as it gave the cast - Fulton in particular - a chance to flesh out their characters . His long-faced vicar - The Rev . I . M . Jolly ( " Ah've had a helluva year ! " ) - was so popular he went on to front a number of specials . Also in the cast for a long time was Gregor Fisher , later to go on to ' Naked Video ' where he stole the show as ' Rab C . Nesbitt ' , and Tony Roper , who played ' Jamesie Cotter ' . The quality of the sketches is extremely good ; John Byrne of ' Tutti Frutti ' fame being a contributor . As is the norm with sketch shows , various stock characters evolved ; as well as the Rev . I . M . Jolly , there was also the inappropriately named ' Supercop ' , slovenly television chef ' Dickie Dandruff ' , and wide boy McGlinchey . But Fulton's ' Last Calls ' made the show special . Those of us who remember when television stations used to close down at midnight with the ' Epilogue ' recognise only too well what is being parodied here . One of the best sketches had Fulton - as a different priest - getting progressively drunker whilst on air . Fulton is best remembered in the rest of the U . K . for his roles in straight dramas such as ' Charlie Endell Esquire ' ( in which he played a vicious gangster who had the wonderful line : " Porno magazines don't run ' Spot The Ball ' contests ! " ) and ' Bergerac ' . ' Scotch & Wry ' shows us he was capable of so much more . I haven't watched all the episodes . I'm saving a few for New Year's Eve ! No wonder this programme - and Fulton - is so greatly revered in Scotland . |
400,690 | 7,743,887 | 407,366 | 10 | We Let People Into Our Secrets ! | Those who praise modern comedies as ' dark ' and ' original ' tend to be shamefully ignorant of past achievements in the field . The 1973 B . B . C . series ' Black & Blue ' was an anthology of plays intended to showcase offbeat humour . The first of these was ' Secrets ' written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones , who won the assignment on the strength of their work on ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' . This satire on the consumer industry starred Warren Mitchell as ' Cyril Rose ' , the owner of the ' Secrets ' chocolate factory . A crisis develops when three men fall into the mixing vat , winding up as part of the filling for the latest batch . Despite Rose's best efforts to stop the contaminated chocks going on sale , a small section of the population are unknowingly turned into cannibals . It looks like the end for ' Secrets ' , until . . . market research shows that customers preferred the chocks with the dead workmen in to the existing brand . Sales go through the roof . Bowing to demand , Rose tries to replicate the effect by putting dead animal carcases into the chocks , but the public are not so keen on those . Reluctantly , Rose does a deal with a local mortuary who then supply him with fresh human corpses . He makes no secret ( ahem ! ) of the fact that his chocks contain ' human meat ' . In fact he is soon paying people to volunteer to become part of the process , which they are more than willing to do as it has now become a prestigious way to die . As can be gleaned from the above outline , this ghoulish play has more than a touch of Python about it ; in particular , the ' Crunchy Frog ' sketch from the first series , and the notorious ' Undertaker ' skit from the final instalment of Series 2 . Warren Mitchell is excellent in a role very different to Alf Garnett ( ' Till Death Us Do Part ' was still in production at that time ) , while Clifford Rose's character seems to be a dry run for his later ' Kessler ' in the wartime drama ' Secret Army ' . I was only eleven when ' Secrets ' was transmitted and even then , I was shocked . I was not alone . The B . B . C . switchboard was jammed by numerous calls of complaint . When it came out on D . V . D . thirty years later as part of ' The Complete Ripping Yarns ' , I was amazed at how well it stood up . The play posed an intriguing ( and still relevant ) ethical dilemma ; if a demand for food containing human matter suddenly appeared , would it be met ? Palin and Jones conclude , rather gloomily , that it would . In 1988 , ' Secrets ' formed the basis for a less than wonderful film called ' Consuming Passions ' starring Tyler Butterworth and Vanessa Redgrave . The scriptwriters padded out the story with so many irrelevant sub-plots the original message was lost . Fortunately , the original is with us once again and we can see just how far ahead of their time Palin and Jones were . We may not have reached the stage where dead people are used in the manufacturing of confectionery , but one increasingly feels something similar might one day happen , justified by some idiot with a fat expense account claiming ' we're only giving the public what it wants ' . So , settle down in front of the box with a stiff drink and watch ' Secrets ' - a black comedy that manages to be both black and very funny . One word of warning though - don't eat chocolates beforehand . |
400,838 | 7,743,887 | 59,390 | 10 | A Spy Called B . O . | ' The Liquidator ' was based on the first published novel by John Gardner , who'd later continue the literary James Bond saga . Its a lot more fun than his 007 books ( which to be honest are mediocre ) , and in 1965 was brought to the big screen starring Rod Taylor as ' Boysie ' Oakes . Its a splendid film which deserves to be released on D . V . D . in widescreen ( the copy I have was taped off T . C . M . ) , boasting a fantastic cast , exotic locations , and a nice line in humour . Peter Yeldham's script is faithful to the novel , and doesn't try to distort Oakes into a pseudo-Bond clone . You won't find any exploding briefcases or knives in shoes here . As Boysie , Taylor is great ( I disagree with those who claim he was miscast ) , and the title song by Shirley Bassey wouldn't have disgraced a real Bond movie . Its a shame that there were no sequels ( ' Understrike ' and ' Amber Nine ' were both crying out for celluloid ) . Like ' Where The Spies Are ' starring David Niven , this was to be a one-off outing for its leading character . |
401,199 | 7,743,887 | 61,287 | 10 | We Want Information , Information , Information ! | I did not see ' The Prisoner ' on its original broadcast , but discovered it through one of the many repeats it enjoyed ( usually in late-night slots on I . T . V . ) in the early ' 70's . I had no real idea what it was about and did not care . I could see it was something special . Once all the fuss had died down from the ' Fall Out ' screening , it was possible to judge the show on its own merits . Today I watch it at least once a year , and have yet to grow weary of it . It improves dramatically with each viewing , and as Western Governments seem hellbent on removing the democratic rights of individual citizens it has acquired a startling relevance Patrick McGoohan could never have foreseen in 1966 . So what was it all about ? An unnamed British secret agent ( Patrick McGoohan ) angrily resigns , but before he can begin the new life he has planned for himself mysterious forces spirit him off to a place known only as ' The Village ' . Here other ex-agents are given numbers instead of names , and their minds plundered for classified information using highly advanced technology . Escape is impossible . Strange balloon-like creatures called ' Rovers ' chase and suffocate the would-be runaways . The chairman of The Village is Number Two , who changes at regular intervals and is answerable only to the unseen ' Number One ' . McGoohan is magnificent as the caged ' Prisoner ' , and was ably supported by the magnificent line-up of guest stars in the series such as Leo McKern , Ronald Radd , Derren Nesbitt , Colin Gordon , Mary Morris , Peter Wyngarde , Anton Rodgers , George Baker , Guy Doleman , Kenneth Griffith , Justine Lord , and Alexis Kanner . Brilliant though this premise is , it was obvious it could not be maintained for a full season , hence only seventeen episodes were made . McGoohan himself wrote and directed a few . His script editor , George Markstein , knew that a place like The Village really existed once , and thus was able to draw on his not-inconsiderable knowledge . Perhaps the most pertinent episode is ' Free For All ' in which The Prisoner runs for office as the new Number Two . Here we see a press determined to print what they want rather than the facts , political candidates brainwashed by the state , saying nothing of any substance , and when The Prisoner attempts to change things for the better he is viciously beaten into submission . ' The General ' warns of the dangers of using machines as educational tools . McGoohan intended ' The Prisoner ' as a stark warning against over dependence on technology . The show ended with perhaps the most controversial finale in television history : ' Fall Out ' . Viewers were furious because they thought they had been cheated out of a ' proper ' ending . Personally , I think it is a marvellous climax to a memorable show . Remake ? Don't even suggest it . ( One thing did puzzle me though . How come an intelligent , much-travelled secret agent did not recognise he was being held captive in one of Wales ' top tourist spots ? ) Be Seeing You ! |
401,456 | 7,743,887 | 59,387 | 10 | One Of The Best Spy Spoofs Of The ' 60's | Made on a budget which wouldn't have paid for one of 007's Vodka Martinis , this little-known British film is surprisingly good . Tom Adams , as agent Charles Vine , could have made a fine Bond ( one wonders if Vine effectively ruled him out as a candidate for the role ) as he projects more than the required level of machismo and charisma . The supporting cast , particularly Peter Bull as the scheming criminal ' Masterman ' , are impressive , while John Arnatt steals the show as Vine's boss Rockwell ; his explanation of events to Vine at the hospital is brilliantly delivered . The script's well-written , beginning with a teaser worthy of ' The Avengers ' , and climaxing with a multi-double cross shoot-out . Lindsay Shonteff pulls off some decent action scenes , using the city of London to good effect . If ' Licensed To Kill ' can be likened to any Bond film , its ' From Russia With Love ' , as once again agents of the East and West are played off against one another by a mysterious third party . Very underrated film . |
400,936 | 7,743,887 | 65,105 | 10 | Alf Garnett - This Is Your Life ! | No sooner had the television version of Johnny Speight's controversial B . B . C . sitcom ended - temporarily , as it turned out - than the cast reunited for this feature film spin-off . Interestingly , it sets itself up as a prequel , initially featuring Alf and Else in London's East End during the Forties . We see Alf here as an eccentric patriot , rather than the tyrant bigot he became . Over news reel footage of Nazi tanks he boasts that Hitler is too scared to go to war with Britain . But it happens , and suddenly he is terrified . He believes it won't last long though . His patriotism vanishes the day the call-up papers land on his doormat . The attention to period detail here is marvellous ; rationing books , air-raid shelters , doom-filled radio broadcasts , they're all here . Much to his disgust , soldiers are tucking into bacon and eggs while he has to make do with spam . The pub runs out of beer , and Alf cannot fill his pipe with tobacco . Though he manages to stay out of the army by being in a reserved occupation , he has other problems to contend with - Else is pregnant . The second part takes us to 1966 ; mini-skirts are in fashion , and Alf comes into conflict with his trendy lefty daughter Rita and her ' Scouse git ' boyfriend Mike Rawlins . Alf won't let her put ' Vote Labour ' posters in his window . This section is not as good as the first , but it is nice to see the circumstances that brought the characters together . There is a hilarious scene at Rita's wedding reception when Alf gets into a fight with Mike's father , a devout Catholic . Amongst the cast is future ' On The Buses ' stars Michael Robbins and Bob Grant ( even though the latter has no lines ) . Norman Cohen must have liked working in the wartime period as he went on to direct the film version of ' Dad's Army ' and ' Adolf Hitler My Part In His Downfall ' , based on Spike Milligan's memoirs . Bill Maynard plays ' Bert ' , Alf's next door neighbour , with whom he conducts conversations whilst on the toilet ( how well I remember outside bogs . Ugh ! Cold ! ) . It is impossible not to feel sorry for Alf as he walks up the street where he has lived for years , now deserted . For many people , this was a reality . Hitler could not destroy the street , but the local council did . The movie ends where it began - in a cinema - with Alf standing as the National Anthem plays , everyone else having gone home . Released in America under the title ' Alf ' n Family ' ( presumably to capitalise on the connection with ' All In The Family ' ) , it was so successful it opened the floodgates for other sitcom-based films such as ' On The Buses ' and ' Dad's Army ' . A sequel - ' The Alf Garnett Saga ' - was made three years later , but it was not a patch on the first . |
401,488 | 7,743,887 | 80,306 | 10 | Humphrey , are you trying to wish me a Merry Christmas ! | JIM HACKER : Bernard , Sir Humphrey is not God ! BERNARD WOOLLEY : Will you tell him or shall I ? When I first saw ' Yes Minister ' many moons ago , my initial reaction was : " This will never catch on . It is too good . " . Making fun of politicians on television was not new then , of course - ' T . W . 3 ' ( which Antony Jay contributed to ) did it two nearly decades earlier - but this was , I think , the first time anyone had done it on this scale , albeit with fictional rather than real ones . The premise is this ; the well-meaning but naive Jim Hacker ( Paul Eddington ) is appointed Minister of Administrative Affairs . Though he has sound ideas , such as cutting government waste and ending bureaucracy , he is undermined at every turn by Sir Humphrey Appleby ( Nigel Hawthorne ) . Jim is basically a figurehead , the real power lies with unelected civil servants . The show got much comic mileage out of the elusive gobbledegook spouted by politicians , and skilfully avoided naming Jim's party . but I think there was no doubt in anyone's mind as to which one it was . The superb titles featured caricatures of the cast done in his inimitable style by Gerald Scarfe . Ronnie Hazlehurst's theme was suitably bombastic , if a little similar to the one he did for ' To The Manor Born ' . Along with Jay , the other writer was Jonathan Lynn , an ex-cast member ( and contributing writer to ) L . W . T . ' s ' Doctor ' series . Together they came up with some outstandingly literate scripts , which were then impeccably delivered by the cast . Hawthorne's ' Sir Humphrey ' in particular was a marvellous comic creation , being charming and sinister at the same time . Hacker's habit of turning into Churchill regularly creased me up . Derek Fowlds likewise was hilarious as ' Bernard Woolley ' , who , while not actually stupid had an unfortunate habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time . The show caught on , won dozens of awards ( particularly for Hawthorne ) , and was a surprise hit in Australia . I suppose that it was because politicians are much the same wherever you go . I do not know how accurate this depiction of British politics is . If , as was alleged , Ministers are nothing more helpless puppets in the hands of skillful manipulators such as Sir Humphrey , then the democracy in which we live is a sham . This subversive ( not to say depressing ) message could not have hit home with the then-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher , who pronounced herself a fan , and even participated in a specially-written sketch at which Mary Whitehouse was in attendance . Eddington and Hawthorne were not keen to do it , apparently , feeling she was exploiting the show's success . One of the best episodes was ' Skeleton In The Cupboard ' in which Sir Humphrey's involvement in an old scandal comes to light . It was fun to see the tables turned for once , as poor Humph breaks down in front of the Minister . In another , Jim and Humph were at a reception in the Middle East ( where alcohol is not allowed ) and kept sneaking off to a fake communications rooms to imbibe . But easily the best episode was ' Party Games ' , an extended special which finally propelled Hacker into No . 10 . Everything about it , from Jim using a minor issue ( the E . U . ' s renaming of sausages ) as a crusade to the blackmailing of potential Prime Ministerial candidates , felt right . Ludovic Kennedy obviously struggled to keep a straight face during the interview . Three seasons were made , followed by a sequel ' Yes , Prime Minister ' which was , in my view , not as good . Eddington and Hawthorne are sadly no longer with us , but fortunately the repeats are . Unlike other sitcoms of the period , this has not in any way ' dated ' . Its themes are as relevant as ever . With all the hoo-ha over honours recently , it seems strange no-one has questioned as to how Jay got a knighthood ( as well as co-writing ' Minister ' , he also penned speeches for Thatcher ) while Lynn did not . Surely he is just as responsible for the show's success ? Perhaps him being openly left-wing had something to do with it . I will leave the last word to an outraged ' Points Of View ' letter-writer . When the first season was being repeated , he / she wrote to Barry Took's show to complain , adding : " If this is the way the country is being run , I would rather not know about it ! " . |
401,529 | 7,743,887 | 839,117 | 10 | You've Forgotten Your Balls , Sir ! | Whenever ' Last Of The Summer Wine ' comes on television now , I cannot change channels fast enough ( If I see Howard and Marina riding about on bikes yet again , I will chuck a chair at the screen ) . It was very different back in 1976 , though . The show had been running for three seasons , successfully replacing Michael Bates ' ' Cyril Blamire ' with Brian Wilde's ' Foggy Dewhurst ' . No offence to Bates , but with Wilde the show seemed much funnier . Another great asset was John Comer as the henpecked ' Sid ' . ' The Kink In Foggy's Niblick ' begins with our heroes trying to keep fit by playing football . Foggy gets one of Compo's wellies in the stomach when it comes off during a particularly strenuous kick . He then decides football is not really his game after all , and challenges Sid the cafe owner to a round of golf , even though he admits he has not played since 1939 . Following a rummage round Foggy's dusty attic to hunt for some crooked golf clubs , they head for the course , Foggy looking ridiculous in traditional golfing gear . While the game gets underway , Compo sets about retrieving other players ' lost balls - cue some nice visual gags - so he can sell the things back to them . . . The idea behind this episode is simplicity itself , almost like something out of the ' Sykes ' show , and that is why it works . The humour is natural , not forced , and benefits from having a smaller cast . Recent ' Summer Wine ' episodes have featured almost as many characters as ' Gone With The Wind ' , with some doing little more than popping up , saying a line or two , and disappearing . There is also a predictable air about the newer shows . It is as though Roy Clarke presses a button on his computer marked ' Script For ' Last Of The Summer Wine ' and then goes off to mow the lawn while the printer spews out the pages . This was made before the show came to rely heavily on ' Some Mothers Do Ave Em ' style stunts , another nail in its coffin . Are we really expected to believe three old men could really roll down hill in barrels or fall off rooftops without sustaining serious injury ? In my view , the B . B . C . should put the show out of its misery , and repeat the older editions . They are a thousand times funnier . Funniest moment - Foggy's ball has landed in what appears to be a small stream . As he wades into the water and prepares to hit it , two cars shoot past , drenching him ! |
400,885 | 7,743,887 | 59,362 | 10 | Skirt is meat ! | As the ' 60's progressed , a sea change took place in British film comedy . Norman Wisdom and St . Trinians were suddenly out-of-date ( though they kept on going for a few more years ) , and a new wave of Britcoms appeared , among them ' The Knack ' . Richard Lester had just made ' A Hard Days ' Night ' and brought the same mindset to this picture . Coming a year before Time magazine published its famous ' Swinging London ' article , it depicts a Britain on the cusp of a cultural and ( more importantly ) sexual revolution . As Spike Millgan later put it : " Queen Victoria died in 1960 ! " . It is arty ( shot in glorious black and white ) , sexist , often irritating , yet manages in its own way to say something serious about human relationships . Michael Crawford stars as ' Colin ' , a shy , repressed schoolteacher brassed off because his boarder , the good-looking ' Tolen ' ( Ray Brooks ) has a knack for ' pulling the birds ' . Tolen is the Russell Brand of his day ; girls are literally queueing outside his room at all times for sex . Tolen offers Colin a masterclass in the art of seduction . Tolen's attitude to the fairer sex is : " I see , I want and I take " , the sort of chauvinistic attitude probably responsible for Women's Lib in the first place . But even his powers are about to be tested to the limit when along comes Nancy ( Rita Tushingham ) a Northern lass newly arrived in London in search of lodgings . Nancy is immune to Tolen's ' Mr . Tight Trousers ' persona , and when he tries to get fresh with her she cries ' Rape ! ' . A number of reviewers have described the movie as ' dated ' . They are absolutely right . But it is fascinating for that reason alone . It is now a quaint museum piece , the sexual attitudes and mores of the era are on view and are fascinating . It may surprise some to learn that the play on which the film is based was written by a woman - Ann Jellicoe . Lester took the play and opened it out ( with help from screenwriter Charles Wood ) , turning it into a visual delight . Surrealism had finally joined the comedy mainstream . The jokes come at you so fast you need to be quick to pick them up . For instance , when Colin wonders whether to let his front room to a monk , we suddenly cut to a bus full of monks . When he gets angry and tries to keep Tolen out of the house by boarding up the front door , the film turns into a mini-lecture on carpentry . Throughout a Greek chorus of elderly people comment on events . " I know what she's looking for and its not the Y . W . C . A . ! " . Their remarks are much the same as you would hear nowadays . Being too old for sex themselves , they frown on the younger generation for being able to do it . Its these quirky flourishes that gives the film much of its charm . The famous scene where Colin , Nancy and Tom push a bed through the streets of London employs a style that was later used on ' The Monkees ' and ' The Goodies ' . The cast are excellent , in particular Donal Donnelly as an eccentric Irishman with a mad compulsion to paint everything white . Michael Crawford's ' Colin ' has all the naivety of his later ( better known ) role of ' Frank Spencer ' . Tushingham's innocent waif is appealing . As ' Tolen ' , all quiff and dark glasses , Ray Brooks is the epitome of ' 60's cool , a man who has women falling for him like dominoes . Watching this again recently , it occurred to me what a great vehicle for Peter Cook and Dudley Moore this would have made . The humour is broadly in line with what the duo were doing on ' Not Only But Also ' . You can easily imagine Cook as ' Tolen ' and Moore as ' Colin ' . Perhaps these characters inspired the ones they later played in ' Bedazzled ' . The film has its share of longueurs , however . Colin pretending to be a lion is something I think it could have done without . And Nancy's cries of ' Rape ! ' to passers-by have ensured it a high place on the ' it has not aged well ' movie lists . ' Comedy has a new freedom ' gushed Newsweek magazine at the time of its release . Absolutely . Rather than being brushed under the carpet , sex was now openly talked about on screen . There was to be no going back . Nudity and bad language would soon enter the equation . I must mention John Barry's marvellous score . He was on the top of his game here ( having just done ' Goldfinger ' and ' Zulu ' ) and the music perfectly accompanies the offbeat action . You will be humming that gorgeous title theme for days . If you want a British movie that has ' Sixties ' written all over it , look no further . It also manages to be a life-affirming , witty and accomplished piece of work . |
400,852 | 7,743,887 | 640,780 | 10 | The Many Faces Of Richard Lynch | Jeremy Mason , master of disguise , escapes from the maximum security prison in which he was incarcerated in for three months . KARTEL hires him to impersonate a U . S . general in order to steal a top secret laser satellite system known as ' Seeker ' . The one lead to Mason's whereabouts is his ex-girlfriend , a nightclub dancer . Sloane and Torque keep her under watch , waiting for Mason to make contact . They don't have to wait long . Mason wants revenge on Sloane for putting him behind bars , and KARTEL want ' Seeker ' to assassinate a visiting African Premier . Actor Richard Lynch specialises in creepy villains , and this episode gives him a good role , in fact one wishes it were a two-parter . The concept of ' Seeker ' is particularly interesting . Unlike the laser satellite seen in the Bond film ' Diamonds Are Forever ' , ' Seeker ' can destroy its designated targets by homing in on small magnetic discs . If one such disc is placed about your person ' Seeker ' will find and eliminate you no matter where in the world you are . I'd like to have seen more of ' Seeker ' in action . Nice moment when Sloane falls on the bonnet of a moving car and shatters the windscreen . Originally produced under the title ' Master Of Disguise ' . |
401,481 | 7,743,887 | 52,520 | 10 | The Zone Where Awfully Weird Things Happen ! | I am too young to have seen ' Twilight Zone ' on its original transmission . I came to it in 1983 when , to tie-in with the movie's release , the B . B . C . ran repeats of the first series . I watched not really knowing what to expect . It turned out to be a stylish science fiction anthology series , mostly written by Rod Serling ( who also presented ) , and starring top-drawer performers of the calibre of Burgess Meredith , Robert Redford , Fritz Weaver , and Charles Bronson . The premise was that the ' Twilight Zone ' was this mysterious place where anything could - and frequently did - happen . Ordinary people suddenly finding themselves in extraordinary situations , such as falling in love with robots , revisiting their childhoods , travelling back in time , or meeting aliens . That is my favourite kind of science fiction . The stories varied in quality , but most were worth watching and even the weaker ones had merit . The show came about because Serling had achieved great success with plays such as ' Requiem For A Heavyweight ' and ' Patterns ' , and wanted to do a science fiction series because he thought the genre would give him greater freedom to express his ideas without network interference . Gene Roddenberry later felt the same way when he devised ' Star Trek ' . Check out episodes such as ' The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street ' ( a wonderful study in paranoia ) , ' The Invaders ' ( containing a bravura performance by Agnes Moorehead ) , ' The After Hours ' , ' And When The Sky Was Opened ' , ' Nightmare At 20 , 000 Feet ' to see fantasy television at its best . Aliens and monsters were only a minor part of the show . The real star was Serling's imagination . The show's title and creepy theme tune ( by Marius Constant ) have both entered popular legend . You only have to hum a few bars of the latter and immediately everyone knows what show you are referring to . It ran for five seasons in all ( the fourth being a misguided attempt to upgrade the format to hour-long shows ) , and returned to television in the late ' 80's . As was later the case with the ' 90's update of ' Outer Limits ' , the new show was only a pale shadow of its predecessor . Incidentally , the title of this review came from a sketch on ' The Lenny Henry Show ' , shown on the B . B . C . in 1984 . |
400,897 | 7,743,887 | 585,687 | 10 | We'll meet again ! , " Not at these prices , you won't ! " | The first episode of ' The Galton & Simpson Playhouse ' , an anthology of six one-off comedy plays made by Yorkshire Television in 1977 . ' Car Along The Pass ' got the series off to a cracking start . Arthur Lowe is ' Henry Duckworth ' , a pompous British tourist on a camping holiday in Switzerland with his wife , Ethel ( Mona Washbourne ) . When we first see him , he looks as though he has come straight from shooting grouse on the moors . As their cable car glides across the Swiss Alps , he gives vent to his feelings : " This is the worst holiday I have ever had in my life . . . we have both spent over £18 . 00 each ! " . He starts chatting to a German couple ( Anton Diffring and Maggie Wright ) . " Heinz Schtarmer of Baden-Baden ! " , the man introduces himself , to which the Englishman replies : " Henry Duckworth of Twickenham Twickenham ! " . The car breaks down in mid-air . While they wait for the fault to be rectified , Duckworth takes command of the situation , urging everyone not to panic , but the only other to do is ( to his embarrassment ) an Englishman ( Aubrey Morris ) . Henry's authority is challenged by Heinz , who claims to have flown for the Luftwaffe during the war . The Englishman disregards his superior rank on the grounds he was on the wrong side . When the suggestion is made to make the car lighter by throwing something overboard , Heinz immediately points at Duckworth . . . This resembled the classic ' Hancock's Half-Hour ' episode ' The Lift ' in that it too featured a pompous man trapped along with a diverse group of people . Similarities between ' Duckworth ' and ' Captain Mainwaring ' are clear for all to see . ' The News Of The World ' invited viewers to send in their suggestions as to which of the ' Playhouses ' most deserved to become a series . There is no known record of the result , but I would be surprised if this did not come in top place . With ' Dad's Army ' about to be demobbed , the role of ' Duckworth ' seemed a natural for Lowe . Unfortunately Alan Simpson retired and any hope of a spin-off series went by the wayside . However , Roy Clarke created a not dissimilar character for his underrated B . B . C . sitcom ' Potter ' . As ' Duckworth ' , Lowe is an absolute joy , grumbling about everything under the sun . Washbourne does not say much but her facial expressions are great . Witness her joy at being finally rid of her nagging husband at the end ( he goes back to the cable car to locate their missing passports and gets trapped again , only this time alone ) . Funniest moment - Duckworth sharing his food supplies with the tourists . After giving a tin of spaghetti to the Italian he has nicknamed ' Mussolini ' , he cries " Heinz ! " . Hearing his name called , the German responds with : " Ja ? " . " Baked beans ! " , says Duckworth , handing him a tin . Only Lowe could make a line like that funny . When he died in 1982 , I . T . V . repeated this as a tribute . They were right to do so as it encapsulates everything that was good about the legendary actor . |
401,316 | 7,743,887 | 585,686 | 10 | A Fool And His Money | Albert Cakebread ( Warren Mitchell ) , who describes himself as being in the ' eels ' business , loves a flutter on the horses . Following a successful day at York races , he buys drinks for strangers and boards a train . Three smartly dressed men ( Gerald Flood , Robert Dorning and Alistair Williamson ) watch him stupidly splash his winnings about , and plan to part him from them . Albert finds himself sharing a compartment with the would-be card sharps ( who pretend not to know one another ) , along with a Bishop ( Lockwood West ) and a mild-mannered businessman ( Robin Parkinson ) . They decide to while away the long journey by playing Poker . The Bishop does not really approve of gambling but agrees to act as Dealer . He passes the cards around one a time . " One for you , one for you , and another for you ! " . Albert impatiently tells him to get a move on or they will still be on the first hand when they arrive . The game gets underway . . . With his black-rimmed glasses , straw hat and long hair , ' Albert ' looks more like ' Worzel Gummidge ' than ' Alf Garnett ' . He shares Alf's love of drinking though . When we first see him at the railway station he is in high spirits , loading up an empty binoculars case with miniature bottles of brandy . He does not care who sees him chucking his money around . Galton and Simpson's plot could easily have come out of ' Sergeant Bilko ' - a card game , the sharps , the simpleton begging to be fleeced , not forgetting , of course , the tables neatly being turned at the end . Very good supporting cast too . You do not need to know much about Poker to be able to enjoy this episode . As was with ' I Tell You Its Burt Reynolds ' , this could never have led to a series , but as a one-off it is good fun . Funniest moment - asked by the Vicar what his religion is , Albert replies : " C of E . ' Catcher Of Eels ! ' . |
400,951 | 7,743,887 | 61,265 | 10 | David Vincent Has Seen Them ! | Quite simply , this is the best show of its kind . Created by Larry Cohen ( maverick film maker responsible for ' Its Alive ! ' and ' Q - The Winged Serpent ' ) and produced by Quinn Martin , it features the most popular story in the whole of science fiction - the Earth under attack . Roy Thinnes plays architect ' David Vincent ' ( don't ask me why they felt the need to mention his occupation in the opening credits ) who is driving home late one night . Tired , he stops near a deserted diner and falls asleep . He is awoken a short time later by a strange whirring sound . He sees a saucer-like object touching down nearby . When Vincent returns to the same spot the next day with the police in tow , there is no saucer , only a trailer belonging to a honeymooning couple , and they claim to have seen nothing . Vincent notices that the name of the diner has been changed . So is he mad ? Or has someone tried to cover things up ? Late that night , he approaches the couple yet again . The man attacks him . Suddenly he begins to glow . . . So begins the opening episode ' Beachhead ' written by Anthony Wilson . Taut and intelligently written , it could easily have been an instalment of ' The Outer Limits ' ( and shared that earlier programme's composer Dominic Frontiere ) . Vincent learns that the invaders are here , refugees from a dying world , and they are out to conquer the Earth . His task is made harder by the fact that they can assume human form , so they can be anyone or anything . The only way to identify one is by their little fingers - they cannot bend them ! Kill an invader and it disappears in a fiery red ball of light . Each week , the intrepid architect followed the invaders across the country , thwarting their nefarious plots , which include turning insects into carnivores , sending the Earth off its axis by detonating an antimatter bomb , and attempting to sabotage a moon exploration project . He also hoped to be able to capture an alien and take it to Washington in order to prove their existence . Guest stars included Jack Lord , Peter Graves , Burgess Meredith , Michael Rennie , Roddy McDowall and a pre ' French Connection ' Gene Hackman . It anticipated the ' paranoid ' shows of the ' 90's , such as ' The X Files ' and ' Dark Skies ' . After an excellent first season , it returned for a second , but mid-way through there was a change in format . In ' The Believers ' , Kent Smith was introduced as ' Edgar Scoville ' , head of a group who also knew of the invaders ' existence , and provided back-up . Ratings fell and the show was cancelled without a conclusion . In Britain , ' The Invaders ' played in late-night slots on I . T . V . , but in 1984 B . B . C . - 2 screened the first of two bumper runs ( the other being in 1991 ) , and as had happened with ' Outer Limits ' , the show found a new audience . Most recently , it has been seen on ' Five ' at the ungodly hour of 4 . 00 A . M . In 1995 ' The Invaders ' returned in a two-part mini-series starring Scott Bakula with Thinnes reprising his role as ' Vincent ' . It was dire , looking more like an ' X-Files ' rip-off . Luckily , the original is on D . V . D . and has stood up very well . Just keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously in your neighbourhood with a stiff little finger ! |
401,613 | 7,743,887 | 640,784 | 10 | He went thataway ! | Sloane and Torque are at a power station in Germany , investigating a tip-off about a possible sabotage attempt . All appears normal , until an engineer acts strangely after hearing a sequence of musical notes on his computer pen . He pushes the controls well beyond the ' safety ' level , and explosions start to go off . With Torque's help , Sloane saves the man's life . Power-crazed cosmetics manufacturer Edward Danton is using glamorous models to lure U . S . Generals into compromising situations - then brainwashing them into disclosing the launching codes of America's nuclear arsenal . Danton intends causing Armaggeddon by means of a pre-emptive nuclear strike against the East . Exciting second episode this , with the novelty casting of ' I Spy ' star Culp as an eccentric dog-loving villain . Sloane has a handy laser in his cigarette lighter . He gets away from the bad guys in one scene by hanging onto the skids of a helicopter , something we'll see him do again later in the series . Sexy Sybil Danning seen briefly . |
401,247 | 7,743,887 | 585,689 | 10 | It is ! It is ! I tell you ! | You know how it is when someone gets an idea , and - no matter how daft it may be - refuses to let it go ? ( I used to know an old man named Bert , who kept insisting Clint Eastwood was Stan Laurel's illegitimate son . " So that's why ' Dirty Harry ' is always scratching his head and crying ! " , I once told him ) . That was the basis for this hilarious ' Galton & Simpson Playhouse ' . Jim Knife ( the peerless Leonard Rossiter ) is watching television with neighbours one evening when he spots - or rather thinks he does - Burt Reynolds in an episode of ' MacMillan & Wife ' . Jim obviously knows nothing of Mr . Reynolds ' career . His only contributions to television in the early ' 70's were a few made-for-T . V . movies and a short-lived detective show called ' Dan August ' . ' Macmillan & Wife ' , by the way , starred Rock Hudson and Susan Saint James and ran ( incorporating a title change to ' Macmillan ' ) from 1971-77 . Naturally the neighbours think Jim is a nut . Rather than admit to being wrong , he becomes determined to prove otherwise . He phones ' The T . V . Times ' , ' The Daily Telegraph ' , then Universal / M . C . A . ( the studio responsible for the show ) , and , having gotten absolutely nowhere , the actor himself . Gillian Raine , Rossiter's real-life wife , co-stars . Roy Barrowclough is an out-of-work extra whom Rossiter insults at every opportunity . Patricia Hayes is good value as the senile old granny . Mishearing Jim , she thinks he is referring to Debbie Reynolds . O . K . , it is a one-joke show , but a very good joke . Rossiter turns in his best work since ' Rising Damp ' . You cannot help but laugh as the man falls to pieces before your eyes . Funniest moment - the neighbours drift off to the pub , leaving Jim to exchange insults over the phone with Burt Reynolds . " Don't you take that attitude with me ! " can be heard over the Yorkshire Television logo . Later remade in 1997 as part of ' Paul Merton In Galton & Simpson's ' . Merton alas could not hold a candle to Rossiter in the acting stakes . |
401,280 | 7,743,887 | 54,417 | 10 | Sellers Behind Bars ! | Peter Sellers in the innocent days before Hollywood got hold of him . ' Two Way Stretch ' is a bright and breezy British comedy typical of the period . He plays ' Dodger Lane ' , a Cockney crook imprisoned at H . M . P . Huntleigh , along with safe cracker ' Jelly ' Knight ( David Lodge ) and pickpocket ' Lennie The Dip ' Price ( Bernard Cribbins ) . To say they are having a cushy time would be an understatement . A milkman delivers Gold Top each morning , along with food and newspapers , and their cell is , according to C . P . O . Jenkins ( George Woodbridge ) ' the best place in the nick to get a cup of tea ' . They even have a cat , appropriately named ' Strangeways ' . As the film opens , Dodger is recovering from a surfeit of sherry trifle . The lads are due for release in a few days ' time . Then fellow crook Soapy Stevens ( Wilfrid Hyde-White ) turns up , posing as a vicar . He escaped imprisonment after their last job because he was the only one with a water-tight alibi . Stevens has learnt that a Sultan's diamonds to be conveyed through the area under army escort . Stevens wants Dodger and the lads to steal the consignment . Knowing that this time , they are the ones with the perfect alibi , they readily agree . There are just two minor problems - firstly , they need to break out of the nick , and secondly , Jenkins ' replacement is none other than C . P . O . Sidney Crout ( Lionel Jeffries ) , a hard-faced warder who regards all convicts as scum . . . John Warren ( who wrote a lot of Dick Emery's shows ) and Len Heath's script is full of wonderful comic ideas and lines , and directed with a sure touch by Robert Day . One has to wonder whether or not the B . B . C . sitcom ' Porridge ' derived any inspiration from this , so closely does the latter resemble the former ( curiously , 1965's ' Rotten To The Core ' starring Anton Rodgers also features crooks named ' Jelly ' Knight and ' Lennie The Dip ' , though played by Kenneth Griffith and Dudley Sutton . Coincidence ? Or was ' Core ' originally planned as a sequel to ' Stretch ? ' ) . Alongside the main cast are old favourites Liz Fraser , Irene Handl ( delightful as Lenny's toothless mum ) , Warren Mitchell , Thorley Walters ( as a dimwitted army officer ) , Mario Fabrizi , Maurice Denham , Beryl Reid , and Arthur Mullard . The latter gets one of the best lines . Visited by his wife and her baby , he asks how old it is . " Eight months ! " comes the reply . Arthur looks chuffed at first , and then baffled : " But I've been inside for two years ! " . As was the case with most of the films he appeared in , Lionel Jeffries effortlessly steals the film . He is able to make you laugh by simply bellowing " On the double ! " and that takes some doing . My only complaint is that the film does not really ( pardon the pun ) stretch Sellers as an actor . He is good as the lovable ' Dodger ' , but the role could have been played by anybody . One wonders whether Sid James could have done just as good a job . If ' Two Way Stretch ' is not a part of your collection of classic British comedy films , you should put that right immediately . Funniest moment ? Its got to be the scene in the yard where Crout is trying to exercise the convicts by making them jump up and down on the spot . He does not know that beneath him is part of a tunnel dug by Lennie and Jelly . He soon finds out - by falling into it ! Happy New Year to you all , by the way . |
401,207 | 7,743,887 | 108,891 | 10 | Come Along , Miriam ! Chop ! Chop ! | I've never been fond of cricket , so I was tempted to give ' Outside Edge ' a miss . I only watched because of the presence of Timothy Spaull ( of ' Auf Pet ' fame ) and the scrumptious Josie Lawrence . I'm glad I tuned in because if I hadn't I'd have missed I . T . V . ' s last truly great sitcom , a delightful show centred around two cricket-mad men , Roger Dervish and Kevin Costello , and their contrasting wives , the prim and proper Miriam and larger-than-life Maggie . Shot on film , and without a studio audience to ruin the best lines , ' Outside Edge ' was satisfying on all levels . It didn't bend over backwards to be funny . The regular cast were perfect , in particular Robert Daws , whose ' Roger ' must rival ' Gordon Brittas ' as the sitcom character you'd most like to throttle . The show had its tragic moments too ; witness Maggie's sad pleas for pregnancy in the Corfu Xmas special . With more and more modern sitcoms relying on toilet humour for comic effect , it seems unlikely that we will get many more series of this ilk . More's the pity . |
400,820 | 7,743,887 | 80,253 | 10 | ' The Memory Kinda Lingers ' | Ten years after ' Monty Python ' , another sketch show revolutionised British comedy . ' Not The Nine O'Clock News ' was ' T . W . 3 ' with a harder edge . It didn't merely offend , but horrified . What became known later on as ' alternative comedy ' started here . Public figures such as Reagan , Thatcher and The Queen found themselves on the receiving end of some quite vicious ( but funny ) satirical jibes . Typical ' Not ' gag : " Peters and Lee ( a popular ' 70's singing duo ) split up today . Afterwards , he walked into a lamp post . " . Singer Lennie Peters happened to be blind . They showed no compassion , except when John Lennon died - the end credits of the next episode featured a Lennon song played over a black screen . Even the then-new medium of ' pop videos ' got it in the neck from a witty song entitled ' Nice Video , Shame About The Song ' . The cast were brilliant , Rowan Atkinson in particular , while Pamela Stephenson came as a shock to those of us used to ' glamour stooges ' . After three excellent seasons , ' Not ' ran out of steam in its final year . The last episode , in particular , was absolutely dire and a sad note on which to end a great show . |
401,027 | 7,743,887 | 101,168 | 10 | Would You Buy Tobacco From This Man ? | Along with ' Whose Line ' co-star Josie Lawrence , Paul Merton landed his own show on Channel 4 in the early ' 90's . It was a deliberate throwback to the madcap sketch shows of the ' 60's , such as ' At Last The 1948 Show ' and ' Marty ' . Merton would take a situation , such as a father telling his daughter she's adopted , turned it inside out ( he tells her she isn't ) , and by piling absurdity on absurdity , created an explosion of inspired comic lunacy . The sketches were linked by surreal monologues such as ' there's a time tunnel at the back of my fridge ' , delivered from a railway station tobacconist's . The show miraculously avoided lavatorial humour and brought back something that had been missing from television for some time - visual comedy . His ' Old Ladies ' Grand Prix ' wouldn't have have looked out of place in ' The Goodies ' or ' Monty Python ' . Sadly , it didn't enjoy the success it deserved , and apart from reruns from ' The Paramount Comedy Channel ' has more or less been forgotten . As Paul would say : " Work that one out ! " . |
401,575 | 7,743,887 | 75,860 | 10 | We Are Not Alone ! | Along with ' Star Wars ' , ' Close Encounters Of The Third Kind ' broke with the tradition of ' 70's science fiction movies . ' Soylent Green ' , ' No Blade Of Grass ' , ' A Clockwork Orange ' , ' Zardoz ' , ' Rollerball ' , ' The Final Programme ' - good though they were - were bleak and depressing in that they predicted a grim future for Mankind , as did ' Logan's Run ' and the ' Planet Of The Apes ' sequels . Woody Allen's ' Sleeper ' , though a comedy , followed more or less the same pattern . ' C . E . ' was Steven Spielberg's first film since ' Jaws ' , then the biggest grossing movie of all time . How to top it ? With ' 2001 : A Space Odyssey ' still regarded as the pinnacle of science fiction cinema , he decided to marry that film's intelligence to a more human story . The main character , Roy Neary ( Richard Dreyfuss ) sees a U . F . O . on a country road at night , and becomes obsessed to the point where his family think he has gone mad and eventually abandon him , and he seems not to care . The Neary stuff is interspersed with the exploits of a team of investigators , headed by ' Lacombe ' ( Francois Trauffaut ) . Neary teams up with fellow U . F . O . watcher Jillian , and they cut through the web of secrecy put in place by the U . S . Government over the sightings . The film ends in spectacular fashion ( all the more remarkable seeing that C . G . I . was two decades away ) with the landing of the Mother Ship at a secret base in Wyoming . Great visual effects from Douglas Trumbull ( who had worked on ' 2001 ' ) . Ditto John Williams ' evocative music . Dreyfuss is excellent as the everyman figure ' Neary ' , as is Teri Garr as his wife . The U . F . O . watchers are not nerdy , bespectacled types , but drawn from all walks of life . The ' cover-up ' stuff probably registered with the original U . S . audience ( this was four years after Watergate ) . I was at school when news of this film broke . ' Starburst ' magazine ran a somewhat portentious review by Ray Bradbury in which he virtually canonised Spielberg . ' C . E . ' did not open here until 1978 , meaning that speculation in the run-up to its British release was rife . What did that title actually mean ? Were the aliens friendly or hostile ? Would ' Jaws ' make a cameo ? Sci-fi fans split into two groups ; if you admitted to liking ' Star Wars ' , you were regarded as a moron , but if you said you appreciated ' C . E . ' , you were a towering genius . I always said that I preferred ' C . E . ' ( without mentioning the ' Star Wars ' novelisation tucked away in my satchel ) . That fan followings had developed for a couple of movies no-one had actually seen in the U . K . was fairly bizarre . Then , months later , the films opened here . Unfortunately , my local theatre chose to play them on the same week , meaning I had to decide which one to go and see first . I plumped for ' Star Wars ' . Funnily enough , who should I bump into in the queue but all those ' C . E . ' fans who dismissed George Lucas ' movie as rubbish . I saw ' C . E . ' on its final day , and was blown away . It was funny , thrilling , scary , and beautiful . I have watched it on television many times since and , believe me , the goggle box does not do it justice . The scene where Barry runs out of his house at night , for instance , is followed by a shot of a worried Jillian looking out of a window and calling his name . Over the house you can see a dot of white light moving up the night sky . It drew gasps of terror in the cinema . On television it is barely noticeable . If you get the chance to see ' C . E . ' on the big screen , do so . In an era where sci-fi movies warned of the terrible dangers facing Mankind , ' C . E . ' , with its positive message , came as a breath of fresh air . It remains a true cinematic landmark . |
401,379 | 7,743,887 | 68,148 | 10 | Kids Today Like To Have Their Own Way | Memories of this charming show were rekindled recently when I bought a video tape from a charity shop . Only five episodes were on it , but they were enough to make me realise that the overpraised ' The Simpsons ' was not the first series about an animated dysfunctional family . What I found refreshing is that the show is firmly on the side of Harry Boyle as he encounters - and is mystified by - modern youth culture . A similar show now would encourage the audience to laugh at Harry for being behind the times . The Boyle's next-door neighbour , Ralph , is a right-wing cretin who sees Communist conspiracies lurking under his refrigerator ( the inspiration for ' Jimmy ' in ' The Fall & Rise Of Reginald Perrin ' , perhaps ? ) . Though a cartoon , the show lacks the conventions of the genre such as chases , comic sound effects ( okay , there are a few but they're not very noticeable ) and frenetic music . In fact , ' Wait ' is better written than many live-action comedy shows . If you get the chance to check it out , do so . |
401,626 | 7,743,887 | 72,500 | 10 | Papers Arrived Yet , Fawlty ? | I missed the first three ' Fawlty Towers ' episodes on its original run ( I was hooked on the I . T . V . series ' Beryl's Lot ' ) so my first encounter with Basil was the fourth episode ' The Hotel Inspectors ' . Even now I can feel the pain in my side from laughing too hard . I spent the next few days telling everyone how great this show was . The real Basil Fawlty was the late Donald Sinclair , owner of ' The Gleneagles ' in Torquay . He was so rude that the Python cast , there on a location shoot , moved out ! Cleese remembered him when writing for the L . W . T . sitcom ' Doctor At Large ' . The episode ' No Ill Feeling ! ' is absolutely hilarious and it was clear that there was a series based around its setting and characters . ' Fawlty ' was not an immediate hit , possibly because many wrongly assumed it was going to be another ' Python ' . Fortunately , repeats came to the rescue . When the second series started in 1979 , it was eagerly awaited by the country . It goes without saying that ' Fawlty Towers ' is the most perfectly realised British sitcom of all time ; what other series could feature a patently unconvincing rat and still work ? It hasn't diminished with the passage of time either . Brilliant performances from the entire cast , great scripts from John Cleese and Connie Booth , and first-class direction by John Howard Davies and Bob Spiers . If only there'd been more episodes ! |
400,862 | 7,743,887 | 788,730 | 10 | The Unlikely Lads | When I wrote my I . M . D . B . review ' A Forgotten Comedy Masterpiece ' two years ago , ' The Other One ' was just that - a sitcom no-one remembered or liked , not even it seems by one of its stars . Richard Briers ' unhappy memories may be attributable to the critical mauling it endured , rather than the show itself . Since then , other I . M . D . B . users have added their comments ( thanks , Michael ! ) , and - most surprisingly of all - the entire first series has been released on D . V . D . So what are my thoughts now ? Has ' The Other One ' aged well or were my earlier remarks misplaced ? The first episode begins at Heathrow airport . Nervous Brian Bryant is waiting to catch a holiday flight to Spain . He strikes up a friendly conversation with Ralph Tanner , a tanned , moustachioed sales rep ( and an incredible bighead ) . Tanner assures him that their plane will not leave without them , and orders more drinks . Needless to say - they miss their flight . Catching a later plane , they arrive at their Spanish hotel hours later to find their rooms have been reallocated . Forced to share what looks like a glorified broom closet , they try to make the best of a bad situation . Brian wants dinner at the hotel , but Ralph insists that they go to what he calls a ' gut ' Spanish restaurant , one not in the travel guides . They wander into a building where people are eating and drinking , and sit down , awaiting service . It happens to be someone's house ! When the owner , Rafael , returns , he finds the situation funny , and , instead of turfing them out , lets them stay . As soon as Ralph and Brian leave , Rafael and his family burst out laughing . Brian thanks Ralph for providing him with one of the best days of his life . Ralph is touched . A friendship has just been forged . . . ' The Other One ' is a serial , not a series . You really need to see this opening episode in order to appreciate the rest . Ralph is one of nature's confidence tricksters , who fancies that he knows everything about everything , when in fact he does not . There are similarities between him and ' Frankie Abbott ' from John Esmonde and Bob Larbey's ' Please Sir ! ' . Brian , on the other hand , is weak and easily misled . He accepts everything Ralph says without question . According to Esmonde and Larbey , at the recording the audience were uncomfortable at the spectacle of the normally squeaky clean Briers playing an obnoxious character . Its one of his finest ever performances in my view . We have not seen Michael Gambon in much comedy , and on the evidence of this its a shame . He could easily have made ' Brian ' boring ( even though he's supposed to be ) , but to his credit , makes him amusing and touching . ' Sue Bainbridge ' the courier is played by Jill Kerman , who had appeared in the third series of ' Please Sir ! ' as ' Penny Wheeler ' , Mr . Hedges ' girlfriend . She susses Ralph out but does not warn Brian as he seems to enjoy his new friend's company . So my opinion has not changed one iota since . ' The Other One ' may not be forgotten any longer , but its still a comedy masterpiece . |
401,620 | 7,743,887 | 72,504 | 10 | There's Only One Way To Get Out And That's To . . . | John Esmonde and Bob Larbey's ' Get Some In ' was one of several military-themed sitcoms inspired by the success of ' Dad's Army ' . The main difference being that while the latter was about old men training for combat , the former concerned young men ( teddy boy Jakey , vicar's son Lilley , academic Ken , and Scot Leckie ) conscripted into the R . A . F . in ' 50's Britain . As someone too young to have experienced National Service , I shuddered at the horrors the conscripts were forced to endure , such as having their boots nailed to the floor ( whilst in them ) , cleaning the latrines and made to go on exhausting , cross-country hikes . As well as being verbally abused by Corporal Marsh , one of the most frightening characters to ever appear in a sitcom . ' Get Some In ' had the ring of truth about it . I expect the reason why it has never been repeated is because of Marsh's homophobic and bigoted attitudes . Ken isn't gay , but Marsh treats him as though he is , while Leckie is so fed up of the Corporal's constant derogatory references to his nationality he even contemplates suicide . Impossible to imagine these things happening in a modern sitcom . But the lads occasionally got their own back . In one episode , Marsh has been stealing coal from the barracks , leaving the conscripts to freeze in the middle of winter , so Leckie coats the anthracite with oil from the armoury . When Marsh next tries to make a fire , the grate blows up in his face . In another , Jakey sabotages one of the supports on Marsh's caravan , causing it to collapse when Marsh climbs into bed with his wife . So popular was the show that when Thames Television announced its cancellation , ' The News Of The World ' started a campaign for its return . It was successful ; unfortunately , it came back without Robert Lindsay , who had left to take up the role of ' Wolfie ' in the B . B . C . ' s brilliant ' Citizen Smith ' . Future ' Brush Strokes ' star Karl Howman replaced him . Talented though he is , Karl just wasn't ' Jakey ' , and the show suffered as a result . Even so , ' Get Some In ! ' remains one of I . T . V . ' s best ' 70's sitcoms , and a D . V . D . release is long overdue . |
400,913 | 7,743,887 | 72,484 | 10 | Could you live in a world without machines ? | 1975 was a vintage year for British sci-fi television drama ; I . T . V . had ( and squandered ) the first season of Gerry Anderson's ' Space : 1999 ' , while over on the B . B . C . Tom Baker was well into his first season as ' Dr . Who ' , Terry Nation gave us ' Survivors ' , and then there was ' The Changes ' . Based on a trilogy of books by Peter Dickinson , this ten part children's series tells how a mysterious force causes everyone in the British Isles to suddenly go berserk , and destroy all machinery . Everything from phones , cars , television sets , cookers , even clocks gets wrecked by angry mobs . As panic grows , people flee the cities and take to the countryside . Schoolgirl Nicky Gore ( Vicky Williams ) becomes accidentally cut off from her parents - they were planning on going to France - and throws in her lot with a travelling pack of Sikhs . After overcoming a gang of racist youths , they settle in a small community run by Mr . Barnard ( David King ) , who has taken advantage of the crisis by setting himself up as some sort of overlord . He wants to have nothing to do with the Sikhs , whom he brands ' the devil's children ' . When they attempt to barter with him by setting up a blacksmiths and repairing broken tools , he callously breaks a newly-repaired fork and tells them to keep away . But then a gang of robbers ride into the village and suddenly Bernard finds his authority threatened . . . Shot on film in the West Country , ' The Changes ' was a gripping , well-written and thought-provoking series , unusually adult in tone . The decision to use all three books as story material for the series was undoubtedly a contributory factor in its success . What a pity that the B . B . C . did not do the same when they made ' The Tripods ' nearly a decade later . Anna Home both produced and adapted it ( she made Nicky the main character throughout . In reality she only appears in the first book ) . Vicky Williams , who plays Nicky , was seventeen at the time . She certainly does not look it ! Her performance is both natural and effortlessly charming . I was lucky enough to see ' The Changes ' when it first went out . The opening episode carried a warning beforehand about the content ' being unsuitable for very young children ' . And how right they were . In the space of a mere twenty-five minutes , the country is ripped apart by the forces of anarchy . We see mobs smashing cars , blowing up power stations , and generally turning against the modern world . When Nicky travels through the countryside , she is freaked out by the sight of electricity pylons . The explanation for the changes of course comes in the final episodes . A mystic ' stone ' dating back to the time of Merlin has been reactivated by an archaeologist , and it immediately restored the world as it was in medieval times . Special mention must go to Paddy Kingsland's distinctive music score . ' The Changes ' was repeated on U . K . Gold on Sky in 1994 , but has not been seen anywhere since . It is a pity because it has stood the test of time . A remake would certainly be worthwhile . With people more reliant on technology now than ever before , a world where machines are suddenly perceived to be ' wicked ' throws up all kinds of dramatic possibilities . And if nothing else , this series shatters the myth ( trotted out ad nauseaum on lazily researched retro programmes ) that British children's T . V . was boring before ' Grange Hill ' came along ! |
400,651 | 7,743,887 | 66,302 | 10 | Presient Political Satire | I saw this on late-night television in the ' 70's , and as well as making me laugh out loud it also made me think . You cannot say that about modern British comedies . Rimmer is an enigma , not evil , just amoral . He could be George Spiggot from ' Bedazzled ' , making good on his threat to ruin the world . Cook might not have been much of an actor , but in this he's great . And what a stunning supporting cast ! Kevin Billington's contribution to the script is difficult to ascertain because it bears all the hallmarks of Cleese , Chapman and Cook , particularly with its sharp digs at the worlds of advertising , market research , public relations and politics . To give an example , when Rimmer reminds the Tory P . M . of his promise to increase pensions , he gets the the reply : " My dear boy , we normally say that the economy is in a ghastly mess , and blame it all on the last lot ! " . With Tory leader David Cameron currently trying to smarm his way into No . 10 , using similar tactics to Rimmer's , the timing for a D . V . D . release could not be better . Highly recommended . |
400,647 | 7,743,887 | 83,505 | 10 | Dear Mister Echo . . . | ' The Young Ones ' polarised audiences when it first appeared in 1982 , if you were over thirty you regarded it , as Malcolm Allison did , ' utter rubbish ' , but if you were under thirty you loved it ! I have to admit I was not an immediate fan , but took to it after several viewings . ' The Young Ones ' was all about four students - hippie Neil , punk Vyvian , wide boy Mike , and hyperactive Rik , who never seemed to do any studying . They lived in a house where incredibly surreal things happened , such as the furniture talking to itself , or atom bombs dropping through the roof . The characters weren't likable , but then they weren't meant to be . Alexei Sayle cropped up from time to time as their landlord , Mr . Balowski . The humour was aggressive , violent , and very rude , more so than any show had been before . My favourite gag was when Vyvian leaned out of a moving train , only to be instantly decapitated . We then saw his headless body pull the communication cord , get out , and run up the track ! Some aspects have undeniably dated ; for instance , a ' Dallas ' spoof contained the credit : VITRIOL CONSULTANT - MISS NINA COW . This was a dig at the television critic Nina Myskow , who was one of ' Dallas ' most vocal supporters . The ' tampon ' gag in an early episode caused a sensation . Full credit for this show must not only go to the performers , but also to writers Rik Mayall , Lise Mayer ( whatever happened to her ? ) and Ben Elton ( who appeared occasionally ) . It is difficult to think of another comedy show that captured the spirit of the ' 80's so successfully . |
401,362 | 7,743,887 | 120,348 | 10 | Coogan's Latin Lothario | Back in the ' 70's , the B . B . C . used to screen music shows on Saturday nights based around popular singers such as Cilla Black , Lulu and Shirley Bassey . With their garish , tacky sets , outrageously attired dancers , unctuous guest-stars , cheesy songs , and unfunny links , they were absolute hell to sit through . ' The Tony Ferrino Phenomenon ' is a brilliant lampoon of these ; top marks to Steve Coogan and Henry Normal for capturing the look and feel of these shows . Some of the songs , such as ' Bigamy At Christmas ' , ' A Short Term Affair ' ( a duet with Kim Wilde ) and ' The Silence Of The Lambs ' , are so brilliant you wonder why they haven't been released commercially . Ferrino himself is a perfectly realised composite of several singers including Tom Jones , Julio Iglesias and Engelbert Humperdinck - his command of the English language is poor , and his disastrous attempts to flirt with his female co-presenter are hilarious . Sadly , unfavourable comparisons with Alan Partridge and Paul Calf resulted in Ferrino's early demise . |
401,554 | 7,743,887 | 63,049 | 10 | The money's in , we're made of tin , we're here to give you more ! | There are two ways to regard ' Head ' . Either it is a dazzling , mind-blowing collage of music , old film clips , psychedelia and T . V . sitcom-style comedy , or a plot less , pretentious , rambling mess . The truth probably lies somewhere in between . It is also one of the best movies of all time . ' The Monkees ' - Davy Jones , Peter Tork , Mickey Dolenz , and Mike Nesmith - had just finished their hit series , and wanted to do a movie . In collaboration with writer Jack Nicholson and director Bob Rafelson , they made ' Head ' . It begins at a bridge opening ceremony in San Francisco , where the Monkees gate crash the proceedings . Mickey jumps over the safety rail , plunging hundreds of feet into the water . Mermaids rescue him to the accompaniment of a gorgeous Jerry Goffin & Carole King composition called ' The Porpoise Song ' and visuals that make the Stargate finale of ' 2001 ' look drab by comparison . By now you will either have switched off in puzzled disgust or be completely captivated . More bizarre happenings unfold ; Mickey uses a tank to destroy a Coca-Cola machine in the middle of the desert ; the entire Italian Army surrenders to him ; the group are hired to play to play the dandruff in Victor Mature's hair for a television commercial ; an overweight waitress insults the group , describing them as ' God's gift to the eight year old's ' ; a surprise birthday party for Mike goes wrong ; the group are sucked into a vacuum cleaner , and to cap it all , are driven away inside a giant glass tank . You will either hate this or love it . I found it a refreshing change from mindless pop musicals of the ' let's do the show right here ' variety . The songs are good too ; ' Daddy's Song ' is superbly choreographed by Toni Basil ( later to appear in Rafelson's ' Easy Rider ' ) and boasts wonderful editing , with Davy's clothes changing colour at lightning speed . ' As We Go Along ' is a lovely Goffin & King number whose accompanying images carry a strong environmentalist message . Frank Zappa , Annette Funicello are just two of the guest stars to crop up . Did Victor Mature read the script before agreeing to do this , one wonders ? He's hilarious in it though . So mad there just has to be real genius behind it , ' Head ' is a little ' 60's gem and one worth revisiting time and time again . Shame it did not find an audience at the time . If only ' Spiceworld ' had been like this ! |
400,676 | 7,743,887 | 65,279 | 10 | You've Stood For It Again , Budge . | When ' Budgie ' was repeated by Channel 4 in the mid-80's , a disgruntled viewer complained : " Blimey ! They've copied ' Minder ! " . He was wrong , of course . ' Minder ' debuted on I . T . V . in 1979 , a good seven years after ' Budgie ' ended . But it was easy to see why he made the mistake , as the two shows are very similar . ' Budgie ' tells the story of Ronald ' Budgie ' Bird , a small-time Cockney thief who dreams of making easy money without having to do anything drastic - such as working for a living . Most of his ' jobs ' take him within the orbit of Charles Endell , a kind of Glaswegian Al Capone , with whom he has an uneasy relationship . Budgie lives with model Hazel Fletcher , and their son Howard . He uses her as a doormat most of the time , but she stands by him no matter what . Each week , Budgie came up with what he thought was a surefire way of making ' readies ' , such as acquiring bootleg trading stamps , crates of ballpoint pens , and pornographic books , harbouring illegal immigrants , hijacking delivery vans , and even a prize greyhound called ' Glory Of Fulham ' . But his schemes fail - either because he has trusted the wrong people , or not thought things through properly . For instance , his trading stamp scam collapses when Charlie points out a flaw that a twelve year old would have spotted . Looking at ' Budgie ' now its hard not to be reminded of not only ' Minder ' but ' Only Fools & Horses ' . Like Delboy Trotter , Budgie is an incorrigible rogue . Few people have written for television as well as Keith Waterhouse and Willis Hall ( although two episodes were penned by Douglas Livingstone ) . Some of the stories may seem a little slow by modern standards , but this was how all shows were made then . Adam Faith is simply brilliant as ' Budgie ' , oozing charisma and charm ( who says pop stars can't act ? ) as is Iain Cuthbertson as ' Charlie ' ( later to acquire a spin-off series of his own ) . Lynn Dalby , whilst not the world's greatest actress , nevertheless evokes sympathy as Hazel , and guest-stars included Gordon Jackson , Alfie Bass , Kenneth Cranham , John Rhys-Davies , Jack Shepherd , John Thaw and Derek Jacobi . Georgina Hale is also impressive as Budgie's promiscuous wife Jean . ' Budgie ' was a big hit , and could easily have run to another season , but Faith wanted to end it on a high . It did - the final episode is incredibly moving . He later revived the character on stage in the ' 80's , with Anita Dobson replacing Lynn Dalby as ' Hazel ' . Now that the series is out on D . V . D . , I hope it attracts a new audience , if only to see what Britain in the ' 70's was really like . Forget ' Life On Mars ' - this is the real thing . By turns funny , dramatic , and tragic , ' Budgie ' is British television at its best - it set a standard that wouldn't be matched until 1983 and the arrival of ' Auf Wiedershen , Pet ' . |
401,138 | 7,743,887 | 61,391 | 10 | Julie Andrews ! | Stanley Moon , a short ( in more ways than one ) order cook in a London Wimpy bar , is suicidally depressed because he is infatuated with flighty waitress Margaret Spencer , and lacks the courage to ask her out . Then a mysterious stranger by the name of George Spiggot enters his life . Spiggot is The Devil , and in return for Stanley's soul gives him seven wishes . In the first , Moon is an intellectual ( a Welsh one at that ! ) , and tries to sweep Margaret off her feet ( and into his bed ) with clever talk . She cries ' Rape ' ! In the second , he is a millionaire who lavishes expensive presents on Margaret , to whom he is now married . But she is openly sleeping with everyone except him . The third wish sees him as a pop star whom the whole world adores . Alas ' Drimbl Wedge & The Vegetation ' are on the same programme , and Margaret transfers her hero worship to him . The fourth wish occurs when Stanley innocently wonders what Margaret is currently up to . He and Spiggot become flies who buzz around a morgue . The fifth has Stanley and Margaret passionately in love . But she is happily married to another Spiggot lookalike . Stanley details his sixth wish carefully . There must be no men in Margaret's life . He forgets to specify the sex and is turned into a nun . Which means he has one wish left . Or does he ? Though revered now , Stanley Donen's Swinging ' 60's Faustian comedy was a box office failure in its day . ' Beyond The Fringe ' and ' Not Only But Also ' won Pete and Dud many fans , obviously not enough to make the film a hit . In America , the advertising overemphasised Raquel Welch's contribution , a big mistake seeing how she is in it for all of three minutes . ' Bedazzled ' opened when the popularity of British comedies was in decline , with only the ' Carry On ' series and all-star romps such as ' Monte Carlo Or Bust ' ( featuring Pete and Dud , incidentally ) keeping the genre afloat . Donen's glossy direction underlined the satirical intent of Cook's witty script , the way he keeps the episodic plot under control is masterly . Sadly , he never worked with Pete and Dud again . The name ' Stanley Moon ' came from Sir John Gielgud , incidentally , while ' George Spiggot ' was the Moore character in the celebrated ' One Leg Too Few ' sketch in ' Not Only But Also ' . Another recycled idea was the trampolining nuns . Dudley Moore wrote the wonderful soundtrack . Often overlooked when assessing this film is Eleanor Bron , playing multiple versions of her character . Not only is she beautiful but a marvellous comedy actress . Two years before she had appeared as a Kali Priestess in The Beatles movie ' Help ! ' . Funniest moment - too many to name , but I can't watch Wish No . 5 without weeping with laughter . Stanley and Margaret want to commit adultery , but can't because their admiration for her husband is too great ! One of the funniest motion pictures of all time . Watch it and treat yourself to a Frobisher & Gleason Raspberry Flavoured Ice Lolly at the same time ! ( The 2000 Liz Hurley / Brendan Fraser remake was good fun , but not a patch on the original ) . |
401,367 | 7,743,887 | 54,279 | 10 | Quintessentially English ! | Stephen Potter's witty books were unfilmable as they stood , so top marks to Hal E . Chester and Patricia Moyes for coming up with a workable script . ' School ' centres on one Henry Palfrey , one of life's failures , who enrols at The School Of Lifemanship in Yeovil to learn how to become a success . The scene where he gets his own back on the two shady car dealers who sold him a Swiftmobile ( Dennis Price and Peter Jones ) is marvellously satisfying . As Henry , Ian Carmichael is , as ever , simply sublime , and the rest of the cast ( Alistair Sim , Jeanette Scott , Irene Handl , John Le Mesurier ) are to die for . Best of all , Terry-Thomas appears in his finest movie role , as the caddish Ray Delauney . His mounting stress as Henry turns the tables is hysterical ! I can't think of a bad word to say about this film . Robert Hamer never managed to top ' Kind Hearts & Coronets ' but with this , he came tantalisingly close . Watch and marvel . If you don't like it , ' hard cheese ' ! |
400,748 | 7,743,887 | 72,564 | 10 | Scientifically Impossible - But Who Cares ? | In their book ' Fantastic Television ' , Gary Gerani and Paul H . Schulman took ' Space : 1999 ' to task for its apparent contempt for the laws of physics , and made the somewhat extraordinary claim that ' these days audiences are used to heavy dollops of science with their science fiction ' . Really ? Well , I do not remember there being dollops of science , heavy or otherwise , in ' The Six Million Dollar Man ' or ' Planet Of The Apes ' . If every sci-fi film or television series had to be 100 % scientifically accurate , there would be some pretty dull stuff floating around . It was Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's follow-up to ' U . F . O . ' and in fact started life as an aborted second season . The premise was that a nuclear waste dump on the Moon had exploded , triggering a series of violent blasts that took it - and the men and women based on ' Moonbase Alpha ' - out of the Solar System and careering off into the unknown . The Alphans gave up any hope of getting back to Earth , and began looking for a new home . Martin Landau took up the lead as ' Commander John Koenig ' , the man responsible for making the important day-to-day decisions concerning the running of the base , while his then-wife Barbara Bain played ' Dr . Helena Russell ' , Alpha's chief scientific officer . Both had recently starred in the hit series ' Mission : Impossible ' . Landau was excellent , while Bain's performance has been the subject of much debate over the years , with many describing her as ' wooden ' . I certainly think the show would have benefited from a different actress in the role . Barry Morse played ' Professor Victor Bergman ' , a sort of father figure to whom everyone turned to for advice . He brought much humour and warmth to what otherwise could have been a stock role . There was hardware a-plenty ; the Alphans travelled from one part of the base to another in ' travel tubes ' and carried portable communication devices called ' commlocks ' . They also had cute looking ray-guns that resembled office staplers ! What should have been the second episode - ' Black Sun ' - unfortunately went out later in the original run , meaning viewers missed an important plot point - the Moon had passed into a region of space where the normal laws of physics did not apply , hence Dr . Asimov and all those sticklers for scientific accuracy were misinformed in their harsh criticism . ' Space : 1999 ' rightly took the view that entertainment should take precedence over authenticity . The first series rivalled ' 2001 : A Space Odyssey ' in terms of grandeur and spectacle . With the exception of ' Dragons Domain ' , it was a monster-free zone . Episodes such as ' Breakaway ' , ' Dragons Domain ' , ' Force Of Life ' , ' The Infernal Machine ' , ' End Of Eternity ' are worthy of the highest possible praise . Unfortunately , it never quite succeeded in emerging from ' Star Trek's ' shadow . Had Year 2 been made to the same standard as 1 , I believe this would have happened eventually . It was denied the opportunity to be a hit in Britain because it was not networked . However , it did well enough abroad for a second season to be commissioned . American producer ( and the man who assassinated ' Star Trek ' ) Fred Freiburger was brought in first as a head writer , then as producer . He knocked the series out of shape , pushing it down the same road as ' Lost In Space ' , with ludicrous monsters running amok . Out went Barry Morse and in came Catherine Schell as the shape-changing Psychon ' Maya ' . She was lovely but her presence unfortunately negated the need for any imagination in the scripts , as each time the Alphans faced a crisis they simply got her to turn into a monster . Tony Anholt's ' Verdeschi ' was another major error . Someone at H . T . V . ( my local I , T . V . region ) must have sensed Year 2 was a no-no - we did not get to see it until 1984 ! It is a little alarming to watch both seasons in conjunction . So different are they it is hard to reconcile them as being part of the same series . Nevertheless , Year 1 is the best remembered , and stands as one of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's finest productions . |
400,724 | 7,743,887 | 72,572 | 10 | Please . . . don't let me be the only one ! | A Chinese scientist accidentally smashes a flask . Some time later , he collapses at an airport and dies . Within hours , the terrible plague he has inadvertently unleashed spreads across the world . Millions die . Only a handful survive - and they band together in an attempt to rebuild civilization . . . So began Terry Nation's gripping post-apocalyptic drama series ' Survivors ' . At the time of its original screening , I remember thinking : " What if this came true ? Could I live in a world without electricity and all the other comforts we take for granted ? " . The main characters were Abby Grant , a strong-willed middle-class housewife , Jenny Richards , secretary , and Greg Preston , engineer . Carolyn Seymour , Lucy Fleming , and Ian McCulloch , who played these roles , were excellent . Initially , the story lines combined action and adventure with thought-provoking drama . In the best episode of the series , ' Law & Order ' , a retarded man is put on trial for the murder of a young woman . His fate is to put to the vote . He is found guilty , and executed . Then its discovered that he was innocent . It remains the finest indictment of capital punishment I have come across . Another good episode was ' Something Of Value ' in which a petrol tanker becomes the centre of an ownership dispute . After an excellent first series , the show went slightly downhill in the second , as Carolyn Seymour was fired by the producer . Then Ian McCulloch left in the third , and when power was restored in the very last episode , the series came to an upbeat conclusion . If you've never seen ' Survivors ' , its well worth seeking out . With Bird Flu in the news a while back , the timing is right for a viewing . And it has one of the creepiest title sequences in television history ! |
401,112 | 7,743,887 | 61,405 | 10 | May God Forgive You , Because I Certainly Won't ! | Funny how some old movies , dismissed as rubbish at the time of their release , can become important years later . ' Billion Dollar Brain , based on the novel by Len Deighton , was the third and last film in the ' Harry Palmer ' series , and once more starred Michael Caine as the intrepid Cockney spy . At the start of the picture , Palmer has left British Intelligence , and is working as a private detective . However , his past catches up with him . Palmer is hired to take a mysterious flask to one Dr . Kaaana in Helsinki . The flask contains ' eggs ' full of deadly viruses . An fanatical right-wing organisation known as ' Crusade For Freedom ' intends starting an uprising in Latvia as a prelude to a mass overthrowing of Communism . Agents get their orders from a super-computer known as ' The Brain ' . The man behind the crusade is ' General Midwinter ' , multi-millionaire , and a fruitcake of the highest order . One of his own men - Leo Newbigen - reprogrammed ' The Brain ' with false information , enabling him to pocket funds intended for the ' rebels ' . The parallels between this fictional spy story and the war in Iraq are startling - false information used to justify the invasion of a foreign country , rants about freedom and God which echo speeches made by Bush , Rumsfeld , Cheney and others , while Bible-thumping Midwinter wants to smash Communism at all costs , even if it means blowing up the world in the process . I'm not a big fan of Ken Russell , but here he's given decent material to work with , and the film is visually stunning . Great titles from Maurice Binder and music by Richard Rodney Bennett . Syd Cain designed the superb sets . Some nice touches of humour as well , such as the Beatles-obsessed Latvians . Those who've likened the picture to ' Austin Powers ' are fools . This is definitely not a spoof . Yes , Midwinter's plan is crazy , but then so is he . The first-rate cast includes Ed Begley as the ranting ' General ' , Karl Malden , Francise Dorleac ( her last movie role , sadly ) , and Oscar Homolka ( reprising his role from ' Funeral In Berlin ' ) , but of course , its Caine's picture . It was right to end the series here ; ' Billion Dollar Brain ' saw Palmer bow out on a high note . |
401,341 | 7,743,887 | 83,466 | 10 | In Colour ! | Two years after ' Airplane ! ' took off , Jim Abrahams , Jerry and David Zucker cast one of its stars - Leslie Nielsen - in this hilarious television series , a glorious take-off of old U . S . detective shows such as ' Dragnet ' . Nielsen played Frank Drebin , America's answer to ' Inspector Clouseau ' . It had the same style of humour as ' Airplane ! ' ; clever visual gags in the background , unnoticed absurdities , and recurring characters such as Johnny the shoe-shine boy who seems to know everything about everything . Guest-stars ( including William Shatner ! ) were killed off in the opening credits . ' Police Squad ' was the first U . S . sitcom since ' Batman ' to lack a laugh track . Many have lamented the fact that only six episodes were made , but I think it was about right . The concept could never have sustained a full 24-episode run . Five years later , ' Police Squad ' made a successful transfer to the big screen , when the first of the ' Naked Gun ' trilogy was released . Jim , Jerry , David , and Leslie had the last laugh . |
401,277 | 7,743,887 | 72,551 | 10 | Nothing's Going To Change The Way I Feel About You ! | You couldn't turn on a television in the ' 70's without seeing John Alderton . He was everywhere ; ' Please Sir ! ' , ' The Fenn Street Gang ' , ' Upstairs , Downstairs ' , ' My Wife Next Door ' , ' Wodehouse Playhouse ' , ' Thomas & Sarah ' and , of course this , in which he co-starred with wife Pauline Collins . They say opposites attract and it was true in the case of C . D . and Clara . He was a struggling actor , she a dizzy deb . This was not a kids ' sitcom . I cherish the scene where Clara made C . D . breakfast in bed and she put a button from her cardigan on his grapefruit because she'd run out of cherries ! Terence Brady and Charlotte Bingham had written for the pair before so knew what they were capable of . The resulting show was a sheer delight , a massive hit with the public and critics alike . Lindsay De Paul's catchy theme was the icing on the cake . Sadly , Alderton and Collins were not up for a second series , so Lisa Goddard and Donal Donnelly were brought in and the title changed to ' Yes , Honestly ' . |
400,930 | 7,743,887 | 83,457 | 10 | Wildly Funny | A middle-aged couple visit a posh restaurant . A sign reads : All Patrons Must Be Dressed For Dinner . A toffee-nosed waiter approaches , looks them up and down , before clicking his fingers . A tailor rushes over , takes the couple's measurements and leaves . " Your clothes will be ready next Tuesday . " , he tells them . A week later , the couple return to the restaurant wearing suits of armour . Elsewhere , a man in a sauna is astounded to see a London bobby stroll by , whistling . " Real peasouper , innit guv'nor ? " , he says amidst the steam . We cut to a newsroom . An anchorman sounds close to panic : " In Toyland , today , Mr . Potato Head went missing ! " . I've just quoted ( accurately , I hope ) three sketches from the Pythonesque comedy ' No Soap , Radio ' . It was a mixture of surreal sketches interspersed with more straightforward comedy narratives set in the ' Pelican Hotel ' . It should have attracted a loyal cult following , but didn't . Like ' Police Squad ! ' it was years ahead of its time . If anyone taped it at the time , congratulations ! |
401,148 | 7,743,887 | 72,558 | 10 | Are you a friendly carrot ? | The first series of ' Rutland Weekend Television ' inherited the time-slot ( Monday , B . B . C . - 2 , 9 P . M . ) of the brilliant fifth season of ' The Goodies ' , and was just as funny in its own way . ' Monty Python ' had ended the year before , and its members were keen to try out different comedy styles . John Cleese made ' Fawlty Towers ' , Michael Palin and Terry Jones gave us ' Ripping Yarns ' , but Eric Idle chose to keep the spirit of ' Python ' alive by writing and starring in this sketch show . ' R . W . T . ' was the name of Britain's smallest television station , run by incompetent , talentless people , and the budgets were so low its output rarely rose above the fifth-rate . Programme ideas were cribbed from existing shows on other channels , such as ' Rutland Five-O ' , and if they did a musical of the ' On The Town ' variety , chances were it would be set not in New York New York , but Tunbridge Wells . In one sketch , Eric interviewed ' The Wittiest Man In The World ' who turned out to be anything but . ' The Old Gay Whistle Test ' had Eric as ' Whispering ' Bob Harris , introducing a rock band whose lead singer has died , yet still performed . My favourite items were the spoof documentaries - in one a farmer breeds beauty Queens , in another a British soldier continues to fight World War Two from The Isle Of Wight , a house is taken over by policemen , and squatters have to be sent along to evict them . Very Pythonesque . Ex-'Beatle ' and ' Python ' fan George Harrison made a memorable appearance in the Christmas Show ; after playing the opening chords to ' My Sweet Lord , he changes tack and belts out a spirited song about a pirate . Movies were spoofed too . ' Pommy ' told the story of a young man who goes deaf , dumb and blind after watching a Ken Russell film . Any similarity between it and Russell's own ' Tommy ' was , of course , intentional . Idle was given fine support by David Battley , Henry Woolf , Gwen Taylor , Terence Bayler , Bunny May , Carinthia West and of course , Neil Innes . The former ' Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band ' member had appeared in the final season of ' Monty Python ' , and for ' Rutland ' he provided some superbly witty song pastiches . He later landed a show of his own , the criminally underrated ' The Innes Book Of Records ' . One sketch in the second series was ' A Hard Days ' Rut ' , starring ' The Rutles ' . When shown in the U . S . A . during an appearance by Idle on ' Saturday Night Live ' , it caused such a sensation that a full-length television movie was later made - ' All You Need Is Cash ' ( ' The Rutles ' ) . Flicking through the Sky channel network recently , I came across a few stations that reminded me strongly of ' R . W . T . ' . Eric's show was ahead of its time alright . The only thing he got wrong was that his presenters were mainly middle-aged , whereas today's are young and annoyingly trendy . If by some chance , you're reading this Eric , any chance of a D . V . D . release ? I hate the idea of my kids growing up not knowing who ' The Massed Flashers of Reigate ' were ! |
401,322 | 7,743,887 | 118,661 | 10 | How Now Brown Cow ! | The 1990's saw a vogue for making motion pictures based on vintage television shows , ' such as ' The Fugitive ' , ' Mission : Impossible ' , ' Sergeant Bilko ' , ' Lost In Space ' , ' The Beverly Hillbillies ' and ' The Saint ' . Most ( though not all ) were not terribly good , for the simple reason that their makers were unable to recapture the ingredients which had made the originals so successful . A movie based on the British spy show ' The Avengers ' was announced as far back as 1987 , with Mel Gibson ( also said to have purchased the rights from E . M . I . ) as ' Steed ' . These rumours persisted well into the 1990's , when after the success of ' Basic Instinct ' , the role of ' Mrs . Emma Peel ' was tipped to go to Sharon Stone . What sort of movie would have resulted with these leads we can only guess at , but I am glad that it was never made . Jerry Weintraub , a self-proclaimed fan of the show , hired Don Macpherson to write a script that was true to the style of the original . It centred on a madman who has created a weather control machine , and plans to use it to blackmail the world's governments into paying him for their weather , or else he will condemn them to perpetual winter . It was a witty , imaginative , and outrageous piece of work . As ' Steed ' , Ralph Fiennes of ' The English Patient ' was cast , with Uma Thurman of ' Pulp Fiction ' taking up the role of ' Emma ' . Weintraub then pulled off another major casting coup - Sir Sean Connery . The former ' James Bond ' was hired to play the villain , necessitating a major rewrite . The character of ' Merryweather ' became ' Sir August De Wynter ' , who lives in a mansion called ' Hallucinogen Hall ' , and is so fixated by Emma he clones her . In a thrilling opening , the clone gains illegal access to ' The Prospero Project ' , which she destroys . The real Emma is naturally blamed , and Mother calls on Steed to investigate . The film had a decent budget , but was not on a level-playing field with say ' Star Wars ' or ' Harry Potter ' ; nevertheless , it boasts stupendous art direction , cinematography by by Roger Pratt , and music by Joel McNeely . Director Jeremiah Chechik skilfully recreated the look and setting of the series - Agatha Christie England - but mixed with a dose of Terry Gilliam's ' Brazil ' . There is humour , but not of the ' funny ha-ha ' variety ; for instance , the scene in the conference room in which Sir August's henchmen are kitted out in teddy bear costumes . This was intended to spoof similar scenes in Bond films such as ' Thunderball ' . Of the supporting cast , Eileen Atkins shone as the gun-toting spinster ' Alice ' . Comedian Eddie Izzard played ' Bailey ' , Sir August's ( mostly mute ) henchman , with Jim Broadbent delightful as Steed's macaroon-munching boss ' Mother ' . ' The Avengers ' was all set for a major launch as Warner Brothers top summer release , but then disaster struck . It registered poorly with a preview audience in Arizona ( why Arizona , for heaven's sake ? ) , causing it to be recalled for major edits . We shall probably never know the name of the man who butchered the film , but I suspect his first name may have been ' Sweeney ' . He took out major scenes , such as the ' Prospero Project ' opening , and Sir August's ' Frankenstein'-like creation of ' Bad Emma ' . Cut down from a two-hour running time to a paltry eighty-five minutes , ' The Avengers ' opened ( rather aptly ) in August to a universal drubbing from critics and public alike . The overkill of bad reviews was enough to destroy any chance the film had of becoming a hit . While the film had its flaws , it certainly did not deserve the opprobrium heaped upon it on its release . Yes , Fiennes and Thurman were not Macnee and Rigg , nor were they intended to be . This was a NEW ' Avengers ' , intended to be a film for the twenty-first century . Years after its release , the movie has a fan base , whose main aim is to see the original restored . Its worth remembering that Ridley Scott's ' Blade Runner ' was regarded as a boring flop in 1982 , now is thought of as a sci-fi classic . I hope that someday ' The Avengers ' can pull off the similar feat of being regarded in a whole new light . |
401,615 | 7,743,887 | 108,740 | 10 | Why Didn't Jeremy Paxman Sue ? | Watching I . T . N . nowadays one can't help but be reminded of ' The Day Today ' . Smug , patronising presenters , gaudy sets , cheesy links , gimmicky presentation , an unmistakable political bias , all were hilariously parodied by Armando Ianucci and Chris Morris over a decade ago . Morris himself is superb as the anchorman , the rest of the cast are fine too , particularly the underrated Rebecca Front . But it was Steve Coogan's verbally constipated sports commentator ' Alan Partridge ' who caught the public's imagination , going onto to appear in no less than two spin-offs . The bombastic theme music and flashy graphics of ' Today ' added greatly to its humour . My favourite sketch featured a convicted American killer wanting to die like his idol Elvis Presley - by gorging himself on hamburgers . It is to the credit of Ianucci and Morris that they didn't milk the concept for all it was worth - ' The Day Today ' ended after only one season . Luckily for us , Morris had another great show up his sleeve - ' Brass Eye ' . |
400,649 | 7,743,887 | 60,980 | 10 | First And Best Of The ' Matt Helm ' Movies | This was the last ' Matt Helm ' I saw ( the first being ' Murderers ' Row ) and I was surprised at how different it was compared to the others . Though a comedy , occasionally it gets rough . Take the hotel room scene where Matt is questioning Gail . Frustrated by her refusal to give a straight answer , he rips off her dress , leaving her fuming in her underwear . This scene is lifted almost verbatim from the novel , and isn't played for laughs . Paul Newman was originally offered the role of Matt , and one wonders if this wasn't a left-over from an early draft of the script . Its one of the reasons why ' The Silencers ' works so much better than the other films . We see something ( albeit only a little ) of the original character - a Government-sponsored assassin who'd kill in cold blood if he had to . Unfortunately , a change of writer and director for ' Murderers ' Row ' resulted in a shift in tone as the series lapsed into the quagmire of self-parody . Pity Oscar Saul didn't write any more ' Matt Helm ' scripts after this one ! |
400,950 | 7,743,887 | 1,231,157 | 10 | Mind my leg ! | Six months after the pilot episode for ' A Sharp Intake Of Breath ' was broadcast on I . T . V . on / 77 ( as part of ' The Sound Of Laughter ' anthology ) , a full series appeared , with David Jason once more playing ' Peter Barnes ' , middle-aged , happily married , a good man in an insane world . Replacing Patricia Brake as his wife Sheila was Jacqueline Clarke , best remembered for her appearances on the B . B . C . ' s ' Dave Allen At Large ' . ' Your Life In Their Hands ' is therefore the earliest surviving episode ( the pilot unfortunately having been wiped ) . It begins when Peter refuses to eat the scrambled eggs Sheila has made for his breakfast . She thinks he must be ill . But it is really because she is not a very good cook . At her insistence , he goes to his local surgery , which is comfortless , noisy , packed to capacity . Peter sits between a man ( Malcolm Storry ) whose foot is in plaster ( which he accidentally treads on - twice ) and Arthur Clegg ( Alun Armstrong ) , a flat-capped Northerner who blathers on about the state of the N . H . S . and this surgery in particular . " By the time you get to see a doctor in this place , you forget what it was you came in for ! " . Peter remembers to tell the receptionist ( Margaret Courtenay ) he is there . The buzzer on her window is so loud it nearly gives him a heart attack . Worse , her window is low so he has to speak to her while crouched . If he is not ill before he certainly must be now . . . Peter and Arthur swap doctors - the latter does not like the one he has been given - and immediately Peter sees why . The doctor ( Richard Wilson ) is so inept as to make ' Doc Morrissey ' from the ' Reggie Perrin ' series look like ' Dr . Kildare ' . . . . Good opening episode , and one that has not dated ( apart from a fleeting reference to Hughie Green's ' Opportunity Knocks ! ' ) too much . Surgeries look much the same today ( and are if anything worse , with television sets blaring away constantly ) . As the moaning ' Clegg ' , Armstrong put me a little in mind of ' Figgis ' from ' Only When I Laugh ' , while Richard Wilson's doctor could have been a distant relative of ' Thorpe ' from the same show . Funniest moment - dropping his stethoscope , the doctor bends to pick it up - and his back locks ! |
400,953 | 7,743,887 | 704,554 | 10 | Frank & Betty's Second Honeymoon | A well-remembered episode of the first season of ' Some Mothers Do Ave Em ' . Frank and Betty are on their second honeymoon ( what must have the first have been like ? ) . After narrowly catching the train , Frank takes his poor spouse to a drab looking guest house , run by Mr . Bedford ( Neil McCarthy ) who seems about as friendly as a wet weekend in Saundersfoot , South Wales . The only other guest is nervous ( and slightly camp ) Kenny ( Cyril Shaps ) . Finding two single beds in their room , Frank pushes them together - and tears a big hole in the lino . To conceal this , he takes a rug from under a wardrobe , tearing it cleanly in half . The wardrobe is now lopsided , so Frank needs something to go under it . Betty looks on in horror as her husband gradually demolishes the room . Finding his wardrobe gone and his clothes laid out on the bed , Kenny thinks the hotel is haunted . . . Hilarious from start to finish , this episode has two very good guest performances from Neil McCarthy and Cyril Shaps . McCarthy's ' Bedford ' is Basil Fawltyesque at times ( he has a moustache too ! ) , especially when he tells Kenny : " we don't have funny furniture here . . . only funny people ! " . As ' Kenny ' , Shaps is a scream , whining Bedford's name every time something strange happens . He put me in mind of the sheep from the old Hanna Barbara cartoon ' Its The Wolf ! ' . Crawford and Dotrice are great too ( why does Betty never walk out on this guy ? I know that love is supposed to be blind , but . . . ) . Each time Frank damages something , he says : " I'll throw that out in the morning ! " . It ends with the pair doing a moonlight flit ( luckily , Frank did not leave behind a home address ) through a hole in the floor of their room . Funniest moment - Kenny espying his wardrobe on the move ! |
400,821 | 7,743,887 | 65,296 | 10 | The Men Who Put Cricklewood On The Map ! | The Beatles broke up in 1970 , but another Fab Four were waiting in the wings to take their place - Tim Brooke-Taylor , Graeme Garden , Bill Oddie , and director Jim Franklin . They created some of the funniest and most memorable television comedy of the ' 70's . It was not their first series for the B . B . C . ' Broaden Your Mind : An Encyclopaedia Of The Air ' was . I never saw it ( my television set could not pick up B . B . C . - 2 in those days ) so had to contend with odd clips on the viewers ' request show ' Ask Aspel ' . In 1969 , ' Monty Python's Flying Circus ' was launched on an unsuspecting world , so instead of continuing with ' Broaden Your Mind ' the lads decided to create an entirely new show . The result was ' The Goodies ' . The idea behind the show was simplicity itself ; an agency composed of three men ( ultra-patriotic Tim , hippie-like Bill , and brainy Graeme ) who rode about on a three-seater bike and who did ' anything , anytime ' . That was all , but it allowed the writers freedoms they otherwise would not have enjoyed . The chief inspiration seems to have been the American series ' The Monkees ' . The wacky plots , ' Tom & Jerry'-style chases , catchy pop music , and cartoon violence were elements common to both shows . There was satire involved too . A regular feature in the first three series were the spoof commercials . In one episode , the Goodies tried to capture the Loch Ness Monster . In another , they went to the Moon where they encountered super-intelligent rabbits . In yet another , they set up a safari park whose main attractions were showbiz stars . In ' The Goodies & The Beanstalk ' , they spoofed the traditional British pantomime . Because ' The Goodies ' took the mickey out of ' 70's pop culture , some have mistakenly interpreted it as an attack on the decade itself . ' Star Wars ' , ' Close Encounters ' and ' Jaws ' were popular and thus ready-made targets for parody . ' The Goodies ' soon became a part of that very same pop culture , especially when they started having Top Ten hits such as ' Black Pudding Bertha ' and ' Funky Gibbon ' . The show boasted an impressive array of guest stars such as George Baker , Stanley Baxter , Bernard Bresslaw , Patrick Troughton , Beryl Reid , Liz Fraser , Mollie Sugden , Jon Pertwee , Joan Sims , June Whitfield , Ronnie Stevens , Jack Douglas , Alfie Bass , and Jane Asher . Celebrities of the calibre of Eddie Waring , Sue Lawley , Michael Aspel , Patrick Moore , Raymond Baxter , and most notably Tony Blackburn were happy to send themselves up . Because children loved the show , the B . B . C . got uptight over the content , most notably ' Rock Goodies ' in which they tackled punk rock , ' South Africa ' , and ' Royal Command ' which was broadcast in the Queen's Silver Jubilee year , and predictably upset rabid monarchists . ' Monty Python ' also featured near-naked girls , racial stereotypes , and bandied about words like ' poof ' . So did Spike Milligan on his ' Q ' series . The point is this - it was incredibly funny . Yet adults preferred the more anarchic ' Python ' . For my money , ' The Goodies ' was the more consistently funny ; ' Python ' ran out of steam after three seasons , ' The Goodies ' hit its stride with Season Five . After a decade on the B . B . C . , the Goodies defected to I . T . V . for a final ( disappointing ) run . They pedalled off into the sunset in 1982 . Since then , repeats have been noticeable by their absence . Unlike ' Porridge ' , ' The Good Life ' , and ' Some Mothers Do Ave Em ' , ' The Goodies ' was too much a product of its time period . But fond memories linger . Those of us who lived through the ' 70's will never forget ' those blokes and their bike ' . |
401,293 | 7,743,887 | 63,374 | 10 | You have to make gravy . It doesn't just come ! | I saw this many years after the television series and , initially , I didn't care for it . Then , as my memory of the series receded with the passage of time , I watched again , and found it absolutely hilarious . Based on the stage play by Neil Simon , it has not been ' opened out ' much for the big screen , and that's one of its strengths . Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon are brilliant as Oscar and Felix , and the supporting cast are wonderful , particularly John Fielder as ' Vinnie ' . Even now , certain moments can reduce me to tears of laughter - Felix interrupting Oscar in the middle of a ball game with a dinner request , Oscar cracking up and chasing Felix around the apartment , the giggling ' Pigeon Sisters ' brought low by Felix's sob stories , and of course , the legendary cafeteria scene ( later ripped off by Nora Ephron's ' When Harry Met Sally ' ) . Razor-sharp dialogue too . When the boys think Felix has taken an overdose , Oscar says : " They could be vitamins ! He could be the healthiest one in the room ! " . Fantastic ! |
400,747 | 7,743,887 | 101,054 | 10 | Excellent ! | I've never understood the school of thought which says all prime time comedy is ' bland ' whilst anything post-watershed is ' dark ' and ' original ' . ' The Brittas Empire ' was enjoyed by a family audience , yet also managed to be ' dark ' ; people got shot , electrocuted , decapitated etc . Chris Barrie played ' Gordon Brittas ' , manager of a leisure centre , a man whose incompetence is matched only by his delusions of grandeur . His put-upon staff include the odious handyman Colin and emotionally overwrought receptionist Carole . Brittas ' wife Helen is neurotic and who can blame her for being so ? Richard Fegen and Andrew Noriss have not received nearly enough credit for their cleverly constructed scripts , which carefully balanced ' slapstick ' with ' black comedy ' . They had the sense to include normal characters such as Laura . Comedy shows peopled entirely by loonies get tiresome very quickly . Not regarded as one of the comedy classics of the ' 90's , but funnier than many of the ones that are . |
401,693 | 7,743,887 | 98,850 | 10 | My name is Ben Elton . Goodnight ! | When Anne Robinson made that now infamous ' Room 101 ' appearance , she lambasted Ben Elton for ' selling out ' - becoming part of the showbiz establishment he had spent much of his career railing against in shows such as ' Filthy , Rich & Catflap ' - the Forsyths , the Tarbucks , the O'Connors etc . A clip from The Royal Variety Performance in which he urged the audience to cheer Her Majesty The Queen was screened , adding weight to her argument . During his ' Saturday Live ' days , Elton would have cut off his right arm rather than be complementary about the wealthy and privileged . ' The Man From Auntie ' ran for two seasons ( one in 1990 , another in 1994 ) and featured the man at his silver-suited , ranting best . Each week , there'd be a ' Farties Guide ' in which he took a wry look at aspects of modern life ( one very good item was about student digs ) , interspersed with fierce attacks on the British political system ( as expected , Mrs . Thatch and later John Major came in for the Elton treatment ) , topical gags , and surreal sketches in which upside-down shots of Ben's mouth were turned into such comic characters as a sex-starved student and a Mary Whitehouse lookalike . ' Mastermind ' was parodied ( Michael Portillo being depicted as a contestant ) and ' The Oprah Winfrey Show ' . But sketch comedy was not his forte ( he lacked the range to be an actor ) and it was the stand-ups where he came into his own . He got into trouble , however , with a witty monologue about contraception in which he used the then-taboo word ' fanny ' . Outraged viewers impatiently waiting for ' Question Time ' inundated the B . B . C . with complaints . Unlike Rory Bremner , Elton could make a political statement , no matter how basic , and still manage to be funny . One episode ended with a John Major lookalike catapulted into a canal . The huge cheer from the studio audience spoke volumes about the popularity of the Tories in the mid-90's , that is to say , not popular at all . Elton used up much of his stand-up material on this series , so it wasn't surprising that he cut it short after only two runs . By the time of ' The Ben Elton Show ' , Tony Blair's New Labour was in power and predictably , the fire went out of Ben's comedy . In recent years , he has concentrated on novels ( including the brilliant ' Popcorn ' ) and hit stage-shows such as ' We Will Rock You ' . Elton seems to have become a victim of his own success . Audiences don't laugh at millionaires . ' The Man From Auntie ' deserves to be remembered as a snapshot of a particular moment in British history . When the Royal Family was reeling from a wave of high-profile scandals , when the Major administration looked increasingly frail , when Ben Elton was a spokesperson for a lost generation . It seems unlikely but one hopes that in the unfortunate event of David Cameron becoming Prime Minister someday , Ben can find a way out of the television wilderness and back onto our screens to do what he is best at - bashing the Tories . |
401,525 | 7,743,887 | 665,475 | 10 | Kippers , Cocoa & Your Mother's Bloomers ! | Stan is unhappy when he learns he has a new conductor . He brightens up when he finds out it is none other than Iris ( Gwendolyn Watts ) from Basildon , a girl who , according to Jack , has worn out more drivers than the five o'clock rush hour ! Iris is not terribly good at the job - she puts make-up on when she is meant to be keeping an eye out for Stan when he reverses into the depot , for instance , thus causing him to back into a sign . However , like the gallant gentleman he is , he takes the blame . A grateful Iris asks Stan if he would like to take her out that night to the Red Lion . He says yes , then remembers he has promised to take Mum to bingo . In desperation , he pretends that his shifts have been changed . So off he goes with Iris . But Arthur spots them there and reports back to Mum . . . With Jack out of most of this episode ( only appearing at the beginning and the end ) , the underrated ( and sadly deceased ) Gwendolyn Watts is given the opportunity to shine in the role of ' Iris ' . Not only is she lovely , but an expert comedy actress . Check out her performance as ' Rita ' in the ' Billy Liar ' film if you do not believe me . Her facial expressions here are just wonderful . She would return later this season in ' The Darts Match ' and I only wish they had put her in a few more episodes . Note that in these early programmes the Butlers ' kitchen and dining area are separate , later shows saw them combined . This story establishes what would become a pattern , with Stan bringing home a pretty girl and his family , particularly his puritanical Mother and jealous Arthur , deliberately ruin his attempts at romanticism . Funniest moment - Iris letting out a high-pitched laugh on catching sight of Mum's bloomers on a clothes horse near the fire . " Are they yours ? " , she asks Stan . |
401,021 | 7,743,887 | 101,049 | 10 | Two Men And An Ampersand | Amidst the ' alternative ' comedy chaos of the ' 80's , ' A Bit Of Fry & Laurie ' arrived almost unnoticed . Unlike ' The Young Ones ' , it had no ambitions to ' tear up the rule book book of comedy ' , but simply to present funny , surreal sketches . ' Not Only But Also ' was undoubtedly an influence ; highlights included ' Its A Wonderful Life ' starring Rupert Murdoch , ' Kickin ' Ass ' , and the ' Tinker , Tailor , Soldier , Spy ' send-up with Fry as a Smiley-type intelligence boss who comes out with such cryptic phrases as : " You know I can't stick The Department up my arse , George . " . Another notable feature were the vox pop sequences . As a double act , Fry and Laurie were peerless . After three excellent seasons , the show moved to B . B . C . - 1 for its final run , which predictably became bogged down by guest-stars such as Caroline Quentin . The pair then split to pursue successful solo careers . It would be nice to think that they might come together again some day to give us more of their offbeat brand of humour . |
401,369 | 7,743,887 | 70,195 | 10 | Has The Swine Finished ? | Frankie Howerd was enjoying a career renaissance in the early ' 70's , thanks to ' Up Pompeii ! ' , going on to star in three feature length spin-offs , the last of which was ' Up The Front ! ' in 1973 . Also that year he starred in this curio , a delightfully old fashioned comedy thriller in the mold of ' The Cat And The Canary ' . Howerd plays Foster Twelvetrees , a ham Shakespearian actor invited to give a performance at the house of the sinister Henderson family . Somewhere on the premises is buried treasure , and someone is determined to find it - even if it means killing the others . . . As you'd expect in a Frankie Howerd movie , the double entrendres come thick and fast . But the reason why I've given this unusual British film a rating is because it expertly mixes comedy with terror . The shot of a defaced poster of Twelvetrees just before the opening credits is accompanied by a blood-curdling scream - perfectly setting the tone for what follows . The scene in the snake house , the live puppet show , and Twelvetrees almost being butchered with a meat cleaver by an insane old woman are unusually strong by comedy standards . Credit for this must not only go to the underrated director Peter Sykes , but writers Clive Exton and Terry Nation . The latter had written for Tony Hancock a decade earlier , as well as creating the Daleks for ' Dr . Who ' so he knew all about scaring audiences . The presence of Ray Milland adds class to the film and marks it out from the other British comedies around at the time . My favourite supporting character , though , is played by Hugh Burden , muttering ' swine ! ' under his breath each time he claps eyes on Twelvetrees . While ' Up Pompeii ! ' and its off-shoots have been available on D . V . D . for some time , this film surprisingly isn't . I would unhesitatingly recommend it to people even if they weren't fans of Mr . Howerd . |
401,497 | 7,743,887 | 60,955 | 10 | Another key unturned | Welcome to the most chilling science fiction movie you will ever see . ' Seconds ' is based on a quite plausible premise , that somewhere out there is an underground organisation known as ' The Company ' , which specialises in giving people new identities , fresh starts in life . Arthur Hamilton , a middle-aged businessman , is approached by a Company employee whilst commuting , and gets offered the chance to begin his life again . Trapped in a loveless marriage , and with nothing to look forward to save retirement , he opts to be reborn . After extensive plastic surgery , he emerges butterfly-like as ' Antiochus ( Tony ) Wilson ' , professional artist . Wilson is given a lovely home near the sea , a live-in manservant , and strikes up an affair with a beautiful neighbour , Nora Marcus . But he realises too late that his new life is just as empty , as meaningless as the one he threw away . Returning to The Company , he asks to be given yet another identity . Unable or unwilling to nominate another candidate for rebirth , he unwittingly signs his own death warrant . . . ' Seconds ' was directed by the late John Frankenheimer , then at the peak of his powers as a film-maker , with classics such as ' Birdman Of Alcatraz ' , ' The Manchurian Candidate ' , and ' Seven Days In May ' to his credit . He brings a Hitchcockian feeling of suspense to the early scenes , while the post-rebirth section could not have been bettered by Kubrick . James Wong Howe's cinematography is breathtaking ; the ' Company ' scenes are chillingly stark , while the infamous wine festival is soft focus . Speaking of which , the scene is carefully edited so that even though people are running around naked you never see anything explicit . Imagine what it might have been like had the film been made five years later . For Rock Hudson , the film was a welcome change of direction after those romantic comedies with Doris Day . He gives a moody , powerful performance which surely must rank as his best . According to Danny Peary's book ' Cult Movies 3 ' , the party scene where Wilson breaks down and pleads for the right to his identity hit the actor so hard he could not stop crying . Hudson's homosexuality was at that time one of Hollywood's best-kept secrets . The excellent supporting cast includes Salome Jens , giving a hypnotic performance as the free-spirited Nora , Will Geer as the president of ' The Company ' , and Murray Hamilton as ' Charlie ' , who by nominating his old friend Arthur Hamilton as a candidate for rebirth inadvertently sets in motion the wheels of his destruction . The most impressive performance comes from the late John Randolph as ' Arthur ' . He is simply brilliant , particularly when he realises he has nothing to live for , and one wonders why he did not bag an Oscar for best supporting actor . Lewis John Carlino's script is a little talky , but its ideas ( derived from David Ely's novel ) are solid . Who is to say that a story like this could not happen in real life ? How do we know there isn't a ' Company ' out there right now ? The late Jerry Goldsmith surpasses himself with a magnificent score , as bleak and foreboding as the film itself . ' Seconds ' also has the most horrifying ending of any film I have ever seen . A guaranteed nightmare inducer . Not a picture for those who like their science fiction drenched in C . G . I . , ' Seconds ' ought to be compulsive viewing for young people who think plastic surgery is the key to a better life . |
401,498 | 7,743,887 | 505,193 | 10 | Step Back In Time , Adam | Only Adam Adamant knows the whereabouts of an African leader named Hinkaya , currently somewhere in the U . K . A gang of assassins are on his trail . Adam is knocked out - and awakens in a 1902 hospital . He is confused - were his exploits in 1966 all a dream ? He meets up with Louise , his lady love , and starts to doubt his sanity . It is only when a doctor makes an error about Woodrow Wilson does the intrepid adventurer realise he has been had . . . Based on a story by ' Avengers ' supremo Brian Clemens , ' Reincarnation ' got the second ( and alas , final ) season of ' Adam Adamant Lives ! ' off to a rousing start . It is like ' Mission : Impossible ' insofar that it focuses on an attempt to extract important information from an individual by means of an elaborate scam . Clemens went on to write variants on the idea , such as the ' Avengers ' caper ' Pandora ' and the ' Protectors ' story ' Thinkback ' . The was selected in 1969 by Gerald Harper for his ' Star Choice ' ( a series in which celebrities chose episodes of their own work ) , and marked Adam's last appearance on the B . B . C . until 1991 ( when ' A Vintage Year For Scoundrels ' was shown as part of the ' One Day In The Sixties ' theme night ) . Despite the B . B . C . receiving many requests to repeat the show in its entirety , they chose not to do so . The arrival of colour television in 1969 effectively put Adam back in his block of ice . Of the ten missing ' Adam ' adventures , this is the one I would most like to see found . |
401,296 | 7,743,887 | 65,329 | 10 | One Of The Greatest U . S . Sitcoms Of All Time ! | I saw ' The Odd Couple ' television series before the movie . I took to it straight away . Tony Randall played ' Felix Unger ' a man so fussy about his personal habits ( he insists on washing playing cards before they're used in poker ) that one day his wife decides she can take no more , and throws him out . So he moves in with friend ' Oscar Madison ' , a slobbish sports commentator . Naturally , their personalities clash , but they remain friends despite their constant bickering . Randall and Klugman were perfectly cast , and thanks to some top-notch scripts ( some by Garry Marshall and Jerry Belson ) were able to successfully develop the characters . Monica Evans and Carole Shelley reprised their movie roles as the cuckoo ' Pigeon Sisters ' - Cecily and Gwendolyn . My favourite episode was the one where Oscar tells the Pigeons the story of how he and Felix met for the first time - they were doing jury service , and after being trapped in an elevator with Felix for some hours the accused made a full confession ! |
400,670 | 7,743,887 | 98,817 | 10 | Now I Don't Believe You Wanted To Do That ! | It seems like only yesterday that Harry Enfield was the brightest comedy star on British television . His appearances on ' Saturday Live ' ( as ' Stavros ' and ' Loadsamoney ' ) and ' Filthy , Rich & Catflap ' , as well as the brilliant ' Norbert Smith - A Life ? ' seemed to confirm him as the natural successor to the great Peter Sellers . In 1990 , he departed Channel 4 for the B . B . C . ' Programme ' was a traditional sketch show in which he played characters as diverse as the revolting ' Wayne Slob ' , the toothy ' Tim Nice-But-Dim ' , the irritating pensioner ' Mr . Don't Want To Do It Like That ' , the ' 40's public information film presenter Mr . Grayson , the over-excited ' Little Brother ' , the Alan Freeman-inspired D . J . ' Dave Nice ' ( Freeman could not have been offended . He later guested on the show ) and of course , one half of the decrepit and senile Old Gits . Within weeks of its debut , the show's catchphrases were being repeated in schools and workplaces all around the country . All of the characters had some small grain of truth to them ; haven't we all encountered someone as ghastly as ' Don't ' at one time or another ? Some fared less well than others ; ' The Double Take Brothers ' used to react with exaggerated excitement each time the unexpected occurred , and caused me to press the ' mute ' button on my remote , and the first series featured a superhero spoof which fell embarrassingly flat , but there were enough good characters for Enfield to develop over two seasons , and into the spin-off ' Harry Enfield & Chums ' . For instance , ' Little Brother ' mutated into the miserable teenager ' Kevin ' . Earlier I mentioned that this was a ' traditional ' sketch show . By that I meant the show owed a great debt to the late , great Dick Emery's long-running Saturday night series . By his own admission , Enfield was a big fan of Emery's , and intended ' Programme ' as a homage . Writers included Ian Hislop and Nick Newman , who had worked on ' Spitting Image ' , and Charlie Higson , later to create the popular ( but inferior , in my view ) ' The Fast Show ' . Special mention must be made of the fine supporting cast , in particular Paul Whitehouse and Kathy Burke . Many of the best sketches featured pairings either of Enfield and Whitehouse or Enfield and Burke . But it was with Whitehouse that Enfield really shone . Whether it was as idle garage mechanics ' Lee and Lance ' , ' The Old Gits ' or ' Smashie & Nicey ' , Whitehouse and Enfield were one of the funniest comedy teams I can recall seeing . Its not every day that a television comedy show panics a radio station into dumping its presenters , but ' Smashie & Nicey ' had that effect . With their cheesy patter , outdated fashion sense and over-reliance on the hit 70's record ' You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet ' by The Bachman Turner Overdrive , the aging disc jockeys were a stinging criticism of the old school of Radio 1 broadcasters . The consequences were devastating : Dave Lee Travis famously resigned on air . Simon Bates , Alan Freeman and even Gary Davies were shown the door . Luckily for Tony Blackburn , he'd moved on a long time before . In recent years , Harry Enfield has become the ' forgotten man ' of British comedy . His series for Sky Television - ' Harry Enfield's Brand Spanking New Show - was so bad even he admitted to never having watched an episode . It was recently confirmed he would be teaming up again with Paul Whitehouse for a new show . If it will be as funny as this one , I can hardly wait . |
401,619 | 7,743,887 | 73,990 | 10 | Are We Going To See The Hippopotamus On Sunday ? . | Not many British sitcoms have been inspired by novels . In 1976 , David Nobbs adapted ' The Death Of Reginald Perrin ' for the B . B . C . . He had Ronnie Barker in mind for the title role , but ultimately ( and rightly so in my opinion ) it went to Leonard Rossiter . ' Perrin ' is a serial not a series . The premise is this : middle-aged Reginald Iolanthe Perrin is stuck in a dead-end job ( marketing executive at ' Sunshine Desserts ' ) . After accidentally referring to his mother-in-law ( whom we never see ) in his wife's presence as a hippopotamus , his life changes . He fantasises about all the things he would love to do , such as making love to his secretary Joan Greengross ( Sue Nicholls ) on top of her desk , exposing himself to his neighbour , and standing up to his boss , the domineering Charles Jefferson ( known as ' C . J . ' ) , brilliantly played by John Barron . C . J . ' s office contains chairs that fart whenever you sit in them . Eventually , Reggie fakes his death by leaving his clothes on a beach . After attempting a new life in various guises , he returns to his old one as bearded ' Martin Wellborn ' , and remarries wife Elisabeth ( Pauline Yates ) . But he grows bored of ' Wellborn ' and reverts back to plain old Reggie . C . J . , angry at having been deceived , sacks him . The series struck a chord with the public , and soon its catchphrases ( ' I didn't get where I am today ! ' , ' Great ! ' ' Super ! ' etc ) were heard all over the country , in workplaces and playhouses . As a schoolboy , I identified with Reggie because I too was trapped in a cycle of boredom ( and my headmaster was a dead ringer for C . J . ) . The second season saw Reggie , fired from ' Sunshine Desserts ' , setting up his own company - Grot - which sells rubbish to the public . It takes off , making Reggie a multi-millionaire . But success brings him down and , this time with Elisabeth in tow , he discards his new life ( along with his clothes ) . The clamour for more ' Reggie ' led to a third and final season , in which our hero decides to create a better world by setting up a commune , run by his family and friends . Though it had its moments , it was the weakest of the trio , mainly because Reggie now had nothing to rebel against , and only when was he rebelling was he truly funny . The series ended with Reggie working for C . J . ' s twin brother F . J . at ' Amalgamated Aerosols ' , and planning to do the same thing all over again . . . I cannot praise this highly enough . Both the writing and acting were of a uniformly high standard throughout , with Rossiter's ' Perrin ' becoming one of the all-time great television comedy characters . That the series was being made at the same time as ' Rising Damp ' is nothing short of remarkable . It is hard to see any similarity between ' Perrin ' and ' Rigsby ' . The supporting cast - including Geoffrey Palmer as Reggie's mad right-wing brother-in-law ' Jimmy ' , John Horsley as the befuddled ' Doc Morrissey ' , Tim Preece as Reggie's wine-making son-in-law ' Tom ' , and Sue Nicholls as ' Joan ' were all great too . I cannot end without mentioning Ronnie Hazlehurst's theme tune . Great ! Super ! |
400,909 | 7,743,887 | 968,883 | 10 | Dick Turns Surgeon ! | Loftus invites Dick to a game of poker . Ignoring the advice of Nurse Wynton , Dick goes along . After being stung by insults from Duncan concerning his medical prowess , he decides to prove he is good at something , and cleans Loftus out . Duncan uses his day off to visit sunny Medeiros , where he is reunited with his old flame Rosita . They spend some time in each other's company , eating ice creams amongst other things , before he goes back to the M . S . Begonia . A terrible pain in his side strikes him down . Dick diagnosis the condition as appendicitis . As they are out at sea , the anaesthetist has no recourse but to operate . . . One of the best ' At Sea ' episodes , penned by Layton & Lynn . Some very good continuity , as events as far back as ' In The House ' are referred to . Duncan and Dick are at loggerheads for most of the time ; the latter wishes to remove his friend's appendix , but the former is horrified at the thought of Dick coming at him with a scalpel in his hand . " I have never lost anyone during an operation . " , Dick tells him . Duncan replies : " That's because you've never been allowed to do any ! " . Duncan's agony is matched only by Loftus ' - though it is down to gout , rather than appendicitis . Poor Duncan has to stagger round the ship , asking passengers whether or not they are medically qualified . He is relieved to find one such man - alas , he turns out to be a vet . Nice location filming here . Robin Nedwell clearly enjoyed himself on the shoot . As it turns out , Duncan has not got appendicitis after all , but food poisoning caused by one of Pedro's famous ice creams . Funniest moment - Duncan and Rosita running towards each other in slow motion . Then a waiter carrying a dinner tray blunders into their path , and the food goes everywhere , |
401,262 | 7,743,887 | 1,243,684 | 10 | Henry Meets His Match | By this point in the series , complaints about the sexist content had reached such a level that the B . B . C . felt it had to take action . The show was pulled from its 8 P . M . Thursday evening slot , and moved to 9 . 25 on Monday nights , just after the news . Replacing it on Thursdays was a new quiz show hosted by Magnus Magnusson , entitled ' Mastermind ' ! The contrast between that and ' Casanova 73 ' could not have been greater . The first show to go out in the new time slot was in my view the funniest of the series . Henry has to act as one of the judges of the ' Miss Dairy Product 1973 ' beauty contest . As Carol notes , it is like putting a drunk in charge of a brewery . She wants to go with him , but as she has recently suffered chicken pox he refuses to allow this . At the event , Henry meets the compère ( Hugh Paddick ) and orchestra leader Ashleigh Thomas ( David Rayner ) , both camper than a row of tents . He is approached by an attractive young blonde called Inga ( Astrid Frank ) who is representing Germany . She offers to come to Henry's room that night . He does not need to be asked twice . But Henry does not get the evening of passion he expects . Inga insists on demonstrating her singing and dancing talents , including impersonations of Marlene Dietrich and Mary Poppins , and by the time she has finished he is too tired to make love . So she tries to wake him up by throwing ice cubes over him . He tries to make her the winner but the other judges are adamant it should be Miss United Kingdom . They too have been got at ! One thing I do not miss on television are beauty contests . Vapid , robotic females strolling about in swim-suits with fixed grins on their faces , quizzed by compères with a fondness for corny jokes . It was like staring into the window of a butcher's shop . When ' Casanova 73 ' was made they were still part of the television landscape . Astrid Frank , who plays ' Inga ' , is not only pretty but has a natural flair for comedy . Among the judges are a pair of familiar faces - Tommy Godfrey from ' Love Thy Neighbour ' and Michael Knowles of ' It Ain't Alf Hot Mum ' . Funniest moment - having failed to win , Inga is furious . She tears up the winners ' cheque , bends the ceremonial sceptre around the compère's neck , and punches Henry in the eye ! Score one for Womens Lib ! |
400,898 | 7,743,887 | 544,156 | 10 | The Colditz Code | The 1970's were the hey-day of British wartime drama serials . ' Manhunt ' , ' Pathfinders ' , ' Secret Army ' , ' Enemy At The Door ' , ' Danger U . X . B . ' and , of course , ' Colditz ' kept viewers enthralled with well-crafted tales , some based on actual events . Major Pat Reid's ' The Colditz Story ' had already formed the basis for an excellent film in 1955 , starring John Mills and Eric Portman . In 1972 the B . B . C . decided to turn it into a series . Joining forces with America's Universal T . V . , they assembled a top-notch cast to play the P . O . W . ' s - future ' Dr . Watson ' Edward Hardwicke ( whose character was a thinly disguised version of Reid ) , Jack Hedley , Paul Chapman , Richard Heffer , Christopher Neame , Neil Stacy and ex-'Man From U . N . C . L . E . ' star David McCallum . Bernard Hepton played the Kommandant . Also in the show was Robert Wagner , whose first series this was following the cancellation of ' It Takes A Thief ' two years earlier . His character - Flight Lt . Phil Carrington - took centre stage here , having been confined to smaller roles in the preceding episodes . Released from solitary confinement , Carrington is placed in the British prisoners ' quarters ( America not having entered the war at this point ) . He claims to have only gone to Germany as an ' observer ' , and not to participate in the conflict . The others are repelled by his pro-Nazi views . Simon Carter calls him a ' German stooge ' , so Carrington hits him . When he is sent back to solitary , he seems pleased to go . He explains that he is writing a book called ' The Spirit Of Freedom ' and welcomes the chance to finish it without interruption . It is intended to show America a more positive view of Hitler . Reading a few chapters , the Gestapo are sufficiently impressed to allow him writing materials . In the meantime , animosity grows towards Carrington . Carter and the others kidnap him from his cell and beat him savagely until the guards save him . The book completed , Carrington submits it to the Gestapo for approval . But they discover that the text contains a secret code and worse , break it . His scheme to warn America about Hitler's invasion plans shattered , Carrington looks doomed . . . Brilliant episode , well written and acted throughout , particularly by Wagner , given a chance to flex his acting muscles after years of being typecast as playboy adventurers . But its McCallum's ' Carter ' who stands out , his growing resentment towards Carrington slowly turning to hatred . One surprising addition to the regulars is Jonathan Lynn , best known ( at that time ) for having played ' Danny Hooley ' in the second series of ' Doctor In The House ' . He provides some comic relief as a Jewish P . O . W . called ' Bergman ' . The Gestapo officers are portrayed by Peter Barkworth ( from ' Manhunt ' ) and a pre-'Sweeney ' Dennis Waterman . Marc Brandel , the writer of this episode , has some interesting credits to his name ; he wrote the source novel of an early Oliver Stone movie called ' The Hand ' , as well as instalments of ' Danger Man ' , ' Amos Burke Secret Agent ' , ' Barnaby Jones ' , and ( surprisingly ) an Elvis Presley picture : 1967's ' Double Trouble ' ! Because of copyright problems , ' Colditz ' is not yet ( and may never be ) available to buy on D . V . D . Its a shame because its a fantastic series which deserves to be seen by as wide an audience as possible . If you get the chance to view it , do so . ( In 2005 , I . T . V . made their own version , starring Damian Green . It boasted some authentic recreations of escape attempts , but was handicapped at being bolted to a silly Mills & Boon style love story . ) |
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