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How do I make new friends?"In the past year two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help." | "Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away? \'a0 Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results.", | "Any diagnosis is limited in its usefulness.Knowing the name of some typical ways you may feel, think and behave, doesn't help you or anyone to understand why the person is the way they are and how to change any of these characteristics.Both self-diagnosing and being diagnosed are equally unhelpful to know why you are the way you are and what to do about it.Consider yourself a person who wants to find a better way to be who you are, and this will get you further with better results than to read a list of descriptions which all are very indicting and negative sounding.", |
How do I make new friends?"In the past year two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help." | "Hello, and thank you for your question. Self-diagnosing is something that we all do about one health issue or another. Taking a guess about what may or may not be happening to us is completely normal, however the actual clinical diagnoses of a mental health disorder requires a licensed mental health professional. Here are a few reasons for this: 1. Making a clinical diagnosis often requires other things besides\'a0matching up\'a0the symptoms of a disorder. To come to a diagnoses for any of the things you mentioned, a counselor\'a0would consult the\'a0DSM, but they\'a0may also\'a0use some type of screening tool, assessment or scale. Many disorders have similarities and it requires someone with training to tease out the differences in the symptoms. 2. Our judgement is sometimes off when it comes to assessing ourselves. We really can't be objective. Something as serious as determining a diagnosis really needs to be done by someone who has that objectivity. In addition, once you know your diagnosis, treating it usually requires help from a professional. 3. Sometimes the symptoms of a mental health disorder makes self-diagnoses impossible, in and of itself. For example, someone could be having hallucinations or delusions and not realize it. That would clearly make it impossible for them to diagnose themselves. There a many examples where something like this could happen with different mental health disorders. There are other reasons, but these are\'a0three important ones. Now, does this mean that you are wrong about your diagnosis? Maybe not. You may be correct. But,\'a0it is important to get this confirmed by a professional mental health clinician. If a disorder is then found, you can begin to talk about treatment. Hope this was helpful. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", | "Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away? \'a0 Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.", | "The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not ""THE best"") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\'a0 | "The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not ""THE best"") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google ""depression hotline"" for where you live. \'a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google ""therapy' or ""therapist"".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", | "The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not ""THE best"") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not ""THE best"") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.", | "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \'a0 \'a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \'a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \'a0 |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.", | "The first step, which you've taken, is actually wanting to talk to someone. It's a great sign that you are seeking to reach out for help. And there are therapists everywhere (there are even therapists online, so you don't have to be that close to them or their office.)There are several sites that I refer people to to begin the process of looking for a therapist. I usually have them start with psychologytoday.com. Once there (there is a therapist directory), you can narrow choices down by ages that they work with, insurance they accept, depression as an issue they focus in, etc. You can also narrow down by therapist's modality, but that can get complicated if you aren't too familiar with the various theoretical approaches. It's important that you find someone that you feel understands your situation. That might mean that they identify an issue you are having in their profile, or on their professional website. But, you should try to meet a couple of different therapists if you aren't quite sure. It can be challenging that first session, but your best (note, not ""THE best"") therapist will help you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as possible, given therapy can be uncomfortable especially at first) and understood from the get-go.I have found that asking friends or family for names and recommendations Is also a common way to find a therapist, because it can come from a trusted referral source. But remember that we are all different, so what works for one might not always be a good fit. And again, it could take a couple of first sessions with different therapists to know if someone is a good fit (sometimes, it can take a few sessions.) And if there is no one around that can give a name or two, then searching online is quite common and can yield positive results.And try not to give up! Finding a therapist is not easy, but finding a good one for you is extremely rewarding.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\'a0 | "Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google ""depression hotline"" for where you live. \'a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google ""therapy' or ""therapist"".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", | "Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.", | "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \'a0 \'a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \'a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \'a0 |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.", | "Hi,Reaching out here is a great start! I recommend looking for somebody in your area that works with people experiencing depression. After you've chosen somebody to try, feel free to call them for a consultation! A lot of counselors and therapists offer free consultations, and remember that your counselor is working for you, so make sure they are a good fit! I hope this has been of some help.", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\'a0 | "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google ""depression hotline"" for where you live. \'a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google ""therapy' or ""therapist"".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\'a0 | "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \'a0 \'a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \'a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \'a0 |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.", | "Hang in there! Feeling depressed sucks but talking with someone can really help - so its awesome that you're already trying to figure out how to find that person. Tons of good suggestions already but to add my two cents - you can find therapists in your area and read a little bit about them to find someone you like the sound of via this website, and also via www.psychologytoday.com; if you have health insurance your insurer might be able to make recommendations as to therapists covered by your plan, or if you happen to be in school, the school itself should be able to connect you with either their own counselor or a center that they recommend nearby. Finding someone can take a few calls or a bit of research so if you need some immediate support, or find yourself having thoughts of hurting yourself, you can also call the great folks who run the Suicide crisis line\'a0 |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google ""depression hotline"" for where you live. \'a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google ""therapy' or ""therapist"".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", | "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \'a0 \'a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \'a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \'a0 |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.", | "Great that you realize talking with a professional counselor about how you feel, would be helpful!If you'd like a very fast response by phone, then google ""depression hotline"" for where you live. \'a0And, if you have a specific topic which upsets you then google around with this topic to see if there are services specific to your interest.If you've got time to invest in looking for the best fit therapist for yourself, then google ""therapy' or ""therapist"".There will be many, many names which come up.I know I sound like I work for google only it is the easiest way to find lots of information.I send you good luck!", |
I'm very depressed?I'm very depressed. How do I find someone to talk to? | "If there is no one in your life with whom you feel comfortable, I would recommend identifying someone on this site, psychology today or goodtherapy.org who is in your area, then give that therapist a call to see if you would be a good match.", | "Sorry to hear you are feeling that way. \'a0 \'a0Is there a 24-hour helpline where you are that you can call? \'a0 Here is a website with some numbers to call: \'a0 |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hi,\'a0Depression can look different for everybody. It sounds to me like what your family is trying to tell you that they are worried about you, and think this behavior might be a result of depression. If what you are experiencing seems fine and normal to you, it may be nothing to worry about.\'a0It is very common to have thoughts of doubt about yourself and your abilities, and it may help to open up about those thoughts to people you trust. Developing relationships with friends and families can be a very rewarding experience, but it can take a brave person to reach out!", | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "If we were in my office together, I would offer that most likely you are feeling somewhat depressed. It's most important for me to impress that you ""don't have to live like this...""\'a0 Other helpful information: Have you experienced similar symptoms before?\'a0 Anyone in\'a0 your family been depressed before?\'a0 Based on other physiological signs, like quality of sleep, appetite, energy/motivation, I would present you with some treatment options, one of which would be to consult with a medication management provider to assess your symptoms and provide additional information for you to consider.", | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "I would not focus on what other people say. Do you feel what you have described impacts your day to day functioning? Try to evaluate how is your self esteem, motivation and self confidence. How about negative thoughts or hopelessness? Any concerns about your grades sliding down? If you answered yes to any questions, may be its time to see a counsellor.", | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Although some people managing depression feel sad or ""down"", \'a0it\'a0is a possible to have depression without an obvious sad mood. \'a0Many people indicate that they feel numb or flat. \'a0People managing depression often have low motivation.\'a0They may stay in bed for long periods of time and only get up for absolutely necessary activities. \'a0People with depression may also feel inappropriate guilt or shame. \'a0 If you have been experiencing the symptoms you described for more than two weeks, I recommend that you see a counselor to get a more in-depth\'a0evaluation. \'a0 The symptoms you are experiencing are typical of depression, and with a bit of support, you could regain energy and improved self-esteem. \'a0The stigma surrounding mental health can make a diagnosis or a label\'a0of depression seem scary. \'a0The important thing to remember is that mental health disorders are as important as and as treatable physical health disorders. \'a0 \'a0Hang in there. \'a0Healing is possible!", | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "Hello. Being a teenager in our society today can cause depression quite easily. We look at the world in which we live, and the doubts we have about being able to make a contribution, or to have value and worth with the people around us, and we begin to internalize those messages of self-worth. If that alone were not enough, you are trying to figure out where you want to go in life, and who you are supposed to be in the world. Teens are faced with pressures of being judged by your peers for how you present yourself; following current fashions; possessing the trendy things; and hanging out with the ""in crowd."" Here's a ""secret"" that might help with most of those issues: Not much of those problems I've just described will really matter as they might seem to right now, in the real world. If you are feeling depression because you feel you lack some of those things that are seen as important by others (like your peers), I can assure you that being someone who is kind; compassionate; understanding of another person's suffering; and the effort you make to be the best person you can become in the world, will far outweigh anything you experienced in your teen years.When we are young, we judge everything based on what our peers have, what they say, the way they dress, who's popular, who's not popular, and for the most of it, all of that is external. So the question becomes, are you trying to fix the feelings on the inside (the internal stuff), with the trappings of all the stuff on the outside (the internal)? That is to say, do you feel that if you had what your friends have, you would be happy and less depressed? Depression is usually a symptom of something much bigger, it is not typically a problem by itself (just as a person who experiences a high temperature may likely have a cold). So fixing the symptom requires looking at the possible causes. In your post, you mentioned that you live with your dad. Are your parents divorced or separated, or has your mom passed away? Either of these circumstances could certainly cause depression. Finding out when you started feeling depressed, might be able to pinpoint the trigger that caused it, which requires looking at when you last felt really happy. It is also important to keep in mind, that as a teenager, your emotions are often being experienced very randomly, and sometimes without cause. It is part of your emotional development, but as you grow older can learn how to manage those emotions better and practice doing things that help you feel better (without causing harm to yourself).Have you tried talking to your dad about your feelings, or maybe another relative if you feel safer doing so? Do you have a friend who is your best friend...someone who is there for you no matter what? If not, there is a service you can use that is a national number for teens to talk with teen peer counselors. They are teens like yourself, but they have some insights that might be helpful. Its called Teen Line ( | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
My family says I have depression"I'm in my late teens and live with my dad. The only time I go out is for my college classes. Sometimes when I see my friends I want to talk with them but sometimes I won't want to talk to them for days or even weeks. Sometimes I feel i'm not worth knowing or i'm never going to do anything right.\
Are they right am I depressed?" | "The answer to the question of whether or not you're depressed, is less meaningful than what you are doing to feel strong and secure in your life.Otherwise, people shortcut themselves to go deeper in understanding who they are and what they'd like to do with their lives, and accept ""depression"" as though it is their new name.What you write sounds like classic depression.What to do about this feeling is to get closer to yourself in an accepting way. \'a0Assume that what you do in daily living is somehow necessary. \'a0Unless you are doing immoral or illegal actions to other people, to accept your own wishes as truth will open you to appreciate why you do what you do.Make believe you're interesting and find out more about who you are, if you have trouble to start with thinking of yourself as worth understanding.The more you appreciate who you are and your unique strengths, vulnerabilities and fears, the more these will dissolve by what seems on their own.In fact they will disappear bc you are believing in yourself and your ways.Good luck!", | "I'm alway wary of assigning a term to a feeling, as often that term becomes more important than the feeling itself. From the very little that you have written, it is clear that you are going through something that has made you extremely low, affected your self-esteem and motivation, limits your enjoyment of formerly pleasurable activities and affects your feelings of self-worth. All of these are aspects of being depressed, though you can be depressed and still not have ""depression"".\'a0Counseling is definitely a place where you can go and sort out why you have had such a sudden a drastic change to your mood. Sometimes our mood can be effected by changes in our routine, losses or significant disappointments. Talking with someone will not only help you to better understand why you are feeling this way, but they will also help you to ground yourself and learn strategies and tools to help you to manage your mood and strategize for the future.\'a0I do hope that you will reach out. Feeling alone can be harmful over long periods of time, as it can stop us from seeking out the support we need.", |
Is my moodiness just a phase or do I need help?"I'm a teenager and I I go through periods of moodiness. I have extreme feelings (but I bury them) and then I feel nothing - just empty and emotionless.\
I have trust issues low self esteemban extreme fear of abandonment and I constantly reevaluate my relationships. I also don't know who I am as a person. I'm not happy overall but I'm not suicidal. Can I just feel happy?" | "Sometimes the way to feel happy is to address all the questions you just described.Teenage years are the first time any of us starts to feel and recognize our uniqueness. \'a0The fact that you recognize your great range of feelings, as uncomfortable as they may sometimes be, is healthy.Also healthy is that you are asking for opinions of therapists who would be familiar with when a range of feelings shows an out of the ordinary problem.One path to take is to reflect on the topics you wrote here and especially to ask yourself your reasons for how the problem started and what it would take for it to resolve.Do you have trust issues because someone broke your trust?\'a0You're entitled to a repair of your trust by the other person. \'a0 Even if the person never offers this to you, to know you deserve to be restored to whole, may help you feel more secure.The same is true with the other topics, abandonment and relationships generally.The more you continue to value your unique understanding, expectations, and standards, the more likely you'll create relationships which do not have these qualities, and you will restore your sense of hope that other people may treat you in a fair and kind way.", | "Sounds like signs of someone who is depressed.Since the person in question is your friend, offer your friendship to listen to any situations or feelings she has about herself and the way her life is going.Depressed people are often lonely people and feel as though no one around them cares or notices them. \'a0Your willingness to be available to her may lift her spirits. \'a0Feeling loved goes a long way to dissolving depressed feelings.Also, if in the beginning when you offer to talk, there is a high chance she'll be defensive and turn down your offer.Try again on another day and then another day.When people feel depressed they usually shut down. \'a0So you may need a few or several tries before your friend accepts your offer to show her you care about how she is doing.Also, watch for signs within yourself that your friends' depression is not sinking your emotions. \'a0Depressed people are draining to be around because they often see and talk about only the negatives and drawbacks of situations.", |
How do I help my year old boyfriend who says he hates his life?"I think adult life is making him depressed and we often sleep in on weekends untill or pm. We just eat smoke weed watch movies and he'll go on his phone all day. He doesn't seem motivated to do much and he's often angry.\
I have no clue how to help him take his mind off the negative or to distract him into a different light. How do I help him?" | "What matters most is how you feel and what you're doing, with whom you're interacting, whether you feel you've got enough interaction to be happy.Whether or not a clinician would decide to identify you as ""depressed"" matters much less than how you actually are feeling, if you have some ideas as to what might improve your sense of being, and how to go about reaching your goals.If therapy during your childhood made you feel better and you feel you may be depressed, then trying therapy at this point in your life, makes sense.The worst that can happen is you find you feel better than you first understood.The best that can happen is you find a caring therapist who helps you find faith in yourself again.", | "How do you help yourself to believe you require more than what he offers to you?What do you get from this relationship which feels satisfying?To answer this question may in the longterm be the best way to help your bf.", |
is it normal not to feel empathy?"I can't seem to feel any emotion except anxiety not even for myself." | "Empathy is the ability\
to tap into our own experience to help us connect with others in order to be\
aware of how they are experiencing life.\'a0\
It is a skill that we learn with practice and refine as we become mature.\
If you are feeling anxious, maybe you are able to understand better others who\
are going trough anxiety.\'a0 But I wonder\
if instead of feeling empathy, you may just want to find ways to reduce your\
anxiety.\'a0 A good idea is to be very aware\
of your anxiety triggers, and once you identify them explore other ways you\
could react.\'a0\'bfSera normal que no sienta empat\'eda?Parece que no puedo experimentar ninguna otra emoci\'f3n que\
no sea ansiedad, ni si quiera por m\'ed misma.\'a0Empat\'eda es la habilidad de usar tus propias\
experiencias para conectarte con otros y estar consciente de la manera que\
ellos experimentan la vida.\'a0 Es una\
destreza interpersonal que aprendemos y refinamos con la pr\'e1ctica y seg\'fan maduramos\
como personas.\'a0 Si te est\'e1s sintiendo\
ansioso, tal vez puedas comprender mejor como otra persona experimenta momentos\
de ansiedad.\'a0 Pero me pregunto si en\
lugar de estar buscando sentir empat\'eda, realmente quisieras reducir tus niveles\
de ansiedad.\'a0 Una buena manera es estar consciente\
que activa la ansiedad, y ya que lo identifiques, explora que otras reacciones\
pudieras tener.", | "Empathy usually falls on a spectrum, meaning that some people show more than others. Empathy is the ability to look at the world through someone else's eyes or ""walk a mile in their shoes."" There could be some people in your life for whom empathy is easier to feel and those for whom you have no idea what they are experiencing.Empathy is not usually categorized as an emotion, but as something related to emotions. For example, you could have empathy about someone's anxiety.I'm not sure whether you are also referring to the idea that you don't have sympathy for yourself or others. That's a different concept, but also involves different degrees.When you say you don't have emotion except anxiety, I wonder if you are saying that you have anxiety all the time and it may be covering up other emotions? If you are experiencing a lot of anxiety, try to look at what it connects to and find something that changes your focus for a few minutes. This could be any number of activities, such as watching TV, cooking, reading a book, or many other options.If you are feeling as if you are just going through the motions and not having a lot of emotions about anything, if it's just been a few days, it may just be related to a current stress that will lessen in a few days. If it has been quite a while, consider tracking your mood and looking at when you do notice changes in your emotions. There may be some variations that you are not aware of.If you continue to feel anxious and as if you don't have as many emotions as you would like, consider talking with your primary care physician or a local therapist.", |
How can I deal with my depression?I know I need to deal with my depression. But I don't know how and I don't want to tell anyone. How can I deal with depression without telling anyone? | "Hello,It is completely understandable that you would not want people to know about your depression. I would first like commend you for realizing that you need to help with your depression by reaching out here. That is a great start, and you've taken the very first courageous step.\'a0Depression can feel debilitating and overwhelming. Depression is also a very personal thing and no one has know but you and the therapist. The best way to begin learningand dealing is to pick up the phone and call a therapist or email a therapist and schedule a session.\'a0The great news is that with professional help you can feel better and you will learn how deal with and manage the depression. There are many ways to help with depression that a therapist can teach you and help guide. You do not have do this alone. Asking for help and going to therapy is a strength! This can be done in a private and confidential setting.Depression should be treated by a therapist, in a safe, confidential office setting. The therapist can then discuss your depression with you in more detail to figure out the underlying cause, how long you've been feeling this way and identify what brings on these feelings.\'a0There is hope and depression can be treated with great success, you CAN feel good again. Depression can be managed appropriately by seeing a licensed therapist. Often times therapy will offer relief because you would have someone there simply to listen to you, validate your feelings and listen to your story. The therapist will be able to offer professional insight and perspective on the situation and help you think outside the box.\'a0The therapist can do many things with you, provide insight and offer many ideas to help you learn new coping skills and ideas of things you enjoy, encouraging you to re engage in hobbies you once enjoyed or even discover new things you may enjoy. There are creative ways to learn to cope too!Your therapist will also be there to support you, without judgement, at your pace, through the entire process. But the first step is finding a therapist and beginning to identify the cause your depression. Healing is possible and getting your happiness back is also possible.Feel free contact me for additional help or informationLaura Cassity, LMSW, LMAC", | "It can be really tough to tell someone - anyone - that you're feeling depressed. But finding that supportive person that you can share with is a big part of the battle with depression. Depression thrives on being secret, it seems to grow the more we isolate ourselves and hide it away so I'm with Laura Cassidy, when she suggests finding that professional support person so you can start fighting back against your depression. If that feels like too big a step right now, maybe check out a book or two... I'm a big fan of a book called 'Feeling Good' by Dr. David Burns if you want some practical thoughts on tackling depression and on 'Radical Acceptance' by Tara Brach if you prefer something a little more spiritual.", |
Is this depression?"I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally I am calm but I have this intense unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal." | "As far as the formal diagnosis of depression goes, it would be hard to determine without more information. It sounds like you are noticing that there is a significant difference between how you are feeling on the inside and how you express yourself outwardly. Part of you is quite distressed and yet it remains invisible to the outside world, almost as if it is trapped inside of your body. Many people who are depressed experience such things as intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness, difficulty expressing themselves, and bodily tension (caged animal?). In working with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what you are going through, the nature of the disconnect between you inner feelings and outer expression, and eventually gain relief from the distress as well as a greater sense of connection with yourself and personal freedom.", | "It sounds like you are trying to find a label to help you to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling. \'a0Sometimes there are no labels for how we feel. \'a0Sometimes there is no name for the emotions that we are experiencing. Regardless, you do not have to continue to feel this way, no matter what you call it. \'a0If you are seeking to experience an internal calmness such as your external calmness, you may want to try some mindfulness practices or meditation. \'a0However, being able to get at the root cause of what you are feeling may be what you need to help you release this feeling for the long term. \'a0I recommend seeking support for this to allow this internal screaming to get some air and begin to breathe.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \'a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", | "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \'a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \'a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \'a0On the other hand, \'a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \'a0Why? \'a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \'a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \'a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \'a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \'a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \'a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \'a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \'a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \'a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \'a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", | "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\'a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as ""you NEVER listen,"" ""you ALWAYS say..."" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with ""you"" try using ""I"" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\'a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\'a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\'a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\'a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\'a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\'a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", | "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \'a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \'a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", | "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Life sounds extremely frustrating for you right now.As long as you've reached your conclusion that your parents do not take you seriously when you would like to speak with them on a serious topic, and that you feel unable to trust either of them, then work with your own information.Many people don't know how to listen and aren't trustworthy. \'a0As painful and aggravating as having parents who fit this description, you're better off to honor what you realize than to continue fighting what is not in your hands to change.Since you write about having a similar problem with friends, then maybe this comes about because you pick friends who are similarly unsatisfying to be with as are your parents.The first step out of this dilemma would be to accept how crummy you feel about the way your parents are toward you.If you're able to live with the sadness and resentment of having parents who don't want to know how to understand you, then you'll start to develop a new and more satisfying definition of what you expect from the behaviors of your friends.Trust yourself that what you feel and see is accurate, then it becomes easier to trust and welcome new people who are formatted differently than either your parents or your friends who sound very similar to your parents' ways.", | "Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren\'92t listening to me. It\'92s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in.\'a0Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn\'92t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives.\'a0Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety.\'a0Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it\'92s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor\'92s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards.\'a0Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be \'93in the moment\'94 and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your \'93happy place.\'94 Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it!\'a0Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students.\'a0Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue.\'a0I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \'a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \'a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \'a0On the other hand, \'a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \'a0Why? \'a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \'a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \'a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \'a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \'a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \'a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \'a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \'a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \'a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.", | "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\'a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as ""you NEVER listen,"" ""you ALWAYS say..."" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with ""you"" try using ""I"" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\'a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\'a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\'a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\'a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\'a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\'a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", | "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \'a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \'a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \'a0On the other hand, \'a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \'a0Why? \'a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \'a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \'a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \'a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \'a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \'a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \'a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \'a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \'a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \'a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \'a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \'a0On the other hand, \'a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \'a0Why? \'a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \'a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \'a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \'a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \'a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \'a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \'a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \'a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \'a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.", | "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "I'm sorry you feel so alone and isolated, those feelings in and of themselves can lead to depression, stress and anxiety. \'a0So job one is finding someone you can talk to. \'a0A good friend or an open parent can be as helpful as a professional counselor, but if you don't have those, then by all means call your local Mental Health Association, suicide prevention, or go see your school counseling department. There are many of us now who do on-line, FaceTime, phone counseling so that is an option to consider in your situation. \'a0On the other hand, \'a0If you want to script a conversation with your parents (I'm a great believer in scripting) not that you're going to read it to them, but if you write down exactly what you want to say, read it over a few times before you're ready to have the conversation. \'a0Why? \'a0You'll be much more likely to do it if you're prepared, and you'll \'a0have a better chance of saying everything you want to say in a calm but forceful way. \'a0The same with your friends--you are probably a great listener and therefore attract people who want to talk--so you need to let these friends know you need something in return. \'a0If you practice asking for equal talk time, then perhaps these friends will respond and surprise you, or if you make those demands you'll start attracting people who are looking for equality in friendships. \'a0Now back to that script--first decide do you want to talk to both parents at once, or one at a time. \'a0Then begin to write down the points you want to make such as: \'a0 I love you, and I know you love me but I don't feel as though I can trust your love to be unconditional enough to tell you who I really am, and how I really feel. \'a0Find your own words to describe your own feelings. \'a0If I can help, get in touch. You are right to reach out starting here, there are no prizes for suffering in silence and, as you already know, little joy in going it alone.", | "Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren\'92t listening to me. It\'92s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in.\'a0Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn\'92t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives.\'a0Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety.\'a0Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it\'92s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor\'92s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards.\'a0Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be \'93in the moment\'94 and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your \'93happy place.\'94 Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it!\'a0Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students.\'a0Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue.\'a0I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\'a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\'a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\'a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\'a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\'a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", | "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\'a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as ""you NEVER listen,"" ""you ALWAYS say..."" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with ""you"" try using ""I"" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\'a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.", | "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\'a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as ""you NEVER listen,"" ""you ALWAYS say..."" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with ""you"" try using ""I"" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\'a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren\'92t listening to me. It\'92s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in.\'a0Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn\'92t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives.\'a0Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety.\'a0Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it\'92s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor\'92s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards.\'a0Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be \'93in the moment\'94 and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your \'93happy place.\'94 Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it!\'a0Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students.\'a0Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue.\'a0I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!", | "One of the most difficult challenges we face is not being heard! It is incredibly frustrating and hurtful when others, especially parents, do not listen. While your parents surely love you and want to understand you, it may be difficult for them to fully understand your feelings and experiences. They are quite a bit older and have likely not dealt with some of the struggles that you face. I would suggest communicating your feelings to them about not being heard.\'a0Talk to them during a non-emotional moment when the discussion is not already heated. In other words, do not wait until an argument ensues to have an open discussion with them about how you are feeling. Prepare them by asking them what time is good for them to talk. Let them know you have something important to get off your chest. Try and avoid using exaggerated or extreme language such as ""you NEVER listen,"" ""you ALWAYS say..."" and stray away from placing blame. Instead of beginning your statements with ""you"" try using ""I"" by letting them know how their behavior effects you. Finally, let them know that they are important to you and that having their trust and support would mean a lot to you. Perhaps giving them suggestions as to what you wish for and would like to see change would help them to better understand.I would also suggest that you seek guidance from a therapist, teacher, or school counselor if possible.\'a0Most schools have counseling resources on sight in which a trained professional is available to talk with students looking for help.Best of luck to you.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\'a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\'a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\'a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\'a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\'a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", | "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "First, thank you for sharing such deep personal information. It can be difficult to share such intimate information. To begin, it sounds likes your primary concern your desire to speak to someone who takes your mental health seriously. You've tried talking to your parents and your friends and neither have made that connection in the area you need. I'm sorry to hear that. it's unfortunate. However, I think a couple things can be done to try to address this.\'a0If you want support1) Parents- Sit down with one of them and tell them with all seriousness that you need to talk about something that is affecting you deeply. Perhaps speaking to both can be too much for one room. If you try to speak to mom or dad by themselves, it may create that intimate atmosphere needed to understand where you are coming from.\'a02) Friends: Like parents it can be difficult to speak to your friends about challenges with your mental health. When you're feeling down and anxious, friends can be great help or not their at all. With friends, it may be one of those things where you also need to create an intimate environment with one friend to speak to about your sadness and anxiety. If anything,\'a0speak to the fact you're hurt and help them understand that if they can't understand the depressionIf you don't want support\'a0Coping Strategies: Identify coping skills and strategy that help you when you're feeling down.\'a0Ideas:A.) JournalingB) PaintingC) ExerciseD) MusicE) Reading AffirmationF) Listening To Motivation Videos", | "Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren\'92t listening to me. It\'92s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in.\'a0Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn\'92t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives.\'a0Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety.\'a0Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it\'92s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor\'92s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards.\'a0Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be \'93in the moment\'94 and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your \'93happy place.\'94 Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it!\'a0Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students.\'a0Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue.\'a0I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!", |
How can I get people to listen?"I've never been able to talk with my parents. My parents are in their sixties while I am a teenager. I love both of them but not their personalities. I feel that they do not take me seriously whenever I talk about a serious event in my life. If my dad doesn\'t believe me then my mom goes along with my dad and acts like she doesn\'t believe me either. I\'m a pansexual but I can\'t trust my own parents.\
I've fought depression and won; however stress and anxiety are killing me. I feel that my friends don't listen to me. I know they have their own problems which I do my best to help with. But they don't always try to help me with mine when I really need them. I feel as if my childhood has been taken from me. I feel as if I have no one whom I can trust." | "Teenage years are rough for anyone, and this is a time for self-discovery and experimentation. Having older parents can certainly pose challenges. Most kids feel like their parents don't understand them, but yours are older than the average parents of teenagers. They're from a completely different generation than you are. It sounds like they love you, but may not understand you. The problem here is the generation/age gap, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. What you can do is accept the situation and perhaps look at it a little differently. It seems like you're looking for affirmation from them, looking for their approval and understanding. It's never a good idea to look to others to define who you are or to get a self-esteem boost. Who you are and how you feel about yourself needs to come from inside, not from outside. One way you can have a better relationship with your parents is to stop looking at all the things you aren't getting from them that you want, and rather look at all the things you are getting from them. Yes, this is a glass half full or half empty point of view, but it works. The negative will overshadow the positive if you let it. Start looking for the good things in your relationship with your parents and your feelings towards them will become more positive.I'm not sure how your friends/peers made you feel like your childhood has been taken from you. That's a curious statement, and requires a deeper conversation to understand where that came from. However, I do understand feeling different and out of place, especially in high school. Find the strength within yourself rather than looking to others in your life to make you feel better or feel like a complete person. It helps to have friends and loved ones, but you can never rely on them to fulfill all of your needs. Set some goals for your future, work towards them. Focus on being the best YOU that you can be, and the right people will enter your life at the right time.", | "Hi there. Being 15 years old can be a very difficult time in your teenage life. I remember when I was 15 and how I often felt my parents weren\'92t listening to me. It\'92s even more difficult when you feel that you do not have a friend that you can confide in.\'a0Having depression in the past and being able to get through it shows me that you can get through anything! Depression alone is a very difficult problem to work through. In addition to the communication problem with your parents, it appears that you are also struggling with stress and anxiety. We all have stress and anxiety in our lives. If we didn\'92t, none of us would be living. Anxiety & stress keep us on our toes! Often, I have to remind myself of this as well. However, it is how we manage stress and anxiety, so it will not overcome our lives.\'a0Are you familiar with relaxation techniques, such as: deep breathing exercises, meditation or yoga? Relaxation Techniques can help you tremendously in reducing your stress and anxiety.\'a0Deep breathing exercises are helpful when you are on the go, such as school, shopping, out with friends or whatever extracurricular activities you engage in. Most people do not take full advantage of their lung capacity. I know, that sounds silly. But, it\'92s true. You would be surprised how much air you lungs can hold. Imagine being in the Doctor\'92s office and taking deep breaths. This is what you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed and/or stressed. Take a moment to take in at least 10 deep breaths and let them out slowly. You will be surprised how well you feel afterwards.\'a0Meditation and Yoga are also healthy forms to working through stress and anxiety. You will need a quiet place for your meditation. You want to be \'93in the moment\'94 and take in the peace and serenity. All it takes is a quiet place, closing your eyes and thinking of your \'93happy place.\'94 Some people use meditation music as well. If you have access to this type of music and or the internet for more ways to practice meditation, please go for it!\'a0Yoga on the other hand will take a little more work and practice. I would not suggest you learning this on your own, if you have never attempted yoga before. Find an experienced Yoga instructor to teach you the ropes and/or ask your school counselor about the possibility of getting someone to come to the school to teach the students.\'a0Lastly, in regards to your parents it is very important to be able to have a relationship where you feel comfortable communicating. I would recommend writing a letter to them, if you are unable to express how you feel in person. A letter is more intimate and requires a little more effort on their end. If they are open on working on this relationship, maybe suggest family counseling to fully work on this issue.\'a0I hope this was helpful for you and I wish you the best!", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \'a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\'92s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \'a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \'a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\'a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \'a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \'a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\'92s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\'92s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \'a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \'93I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\'94.\'a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\'a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\'a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\'a0\'bfC\'f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\'e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\'e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\'a0 Ahora est\'e1 deprimido y sin \'e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\'a0 Pero tambi\'e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\'a0 \'bfC\'f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \'a0\'a0Es com\'fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\'a0\'a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\'fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\'a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\'a0 estar\'e1s en una mejor posici\'f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\'e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\'a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\'f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\'e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\'ednica de emergencias cercana),\'a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\'a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\'f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \'a0\'a0Tambi\'e9n haz cambios peque\'f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\'a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\'e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\'e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\'e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\'eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\'e1s informaci\'f3n.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. This is a very serious time. I don't mean to frighten you, but you are right to be concerned. The time right after people leave the hospital after receiving psychiatric services is a time of high risk for suicide. It is very important, after hospitalization,\'a0to get\'a0follow-up care with a professional as soon as possible. If your husband has an established therapist, this is the time to call. It is also a good time to alert your support system of friends, family, clergy or others to let them know he is still struggling. This is good support for him AND you.It is important to think about means and opportunity to make another attempt. Means really do matter.\'a0 So, if you have a firearm in the home, it is really important to remove it. You can't remove all things that a person may hurt themselves with, but some things are more lethal than others. Firearms are very lethal. I am not sure what means he used last time, but try to reduce the opportunity for him to access it again. This is where your support system can help out. People can take turns hanging out with him until you are sure the crisis is over.If you believe that an attempt is going to occur, talk to your husband about going back to the hospital. If he refuses, you will want to find out what your options are to have him go even if he doesn't want to. I know the thought of that really hurts, but it can save his life. Calling 9-1-1 is always\'a0a\'a0good option if you are not sure. Usually a suicide crisis, meaning they want to harm themselves right now, lasts a few minutes, hours or days. Sometimes when you get them through the crisis stage, they no longer want to commit suicide. But, as you are indicating, that feeling of wanting to commit suicide can come back again. So, it is always good to have a plan. If you want more information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will always answer: 1-800-273-8255. They can help you create a specific safety plan. I do hope things work out alright. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \'a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\'92s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \'a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \'a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\'a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \'a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \'a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\'92s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\'92s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \'a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \'93I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\'94.\'a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\'a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\'a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\'a0\'bfC\'f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\'e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\'e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\'a0 Ahora est\'e1 deprimido y sin \'e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\'a0 Pero tambi\'e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\'a0 \'bfC\'f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \'a0\'a0Es com\'fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\'a0\'a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\'fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\'a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\'a0 estar\'e1s en una mejor posici\'f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\'e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\'a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\'f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\'e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\'ednica de emergencias cercana),\'a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\'a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\'f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \'a0\'a0Tambi\'e9n haz cambios peque\'f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\'a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\'e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\'e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\'e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\'eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\'e1s informaci\'f3n.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \'a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\'92s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \'a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \'a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\'a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \'a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \'a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\'92s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\'92s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \'a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \'93I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\'94.\'a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\'a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\'a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\'a0\'bfC\'f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\'e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\'e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\'a0 Ahora est\'e1 deprimido y sin \'e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\'a0 Pero tambi\'e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\'a0 \'bfC\'f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \'a0\'a0Es com\'fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\'a0\'a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\'fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\'a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\'a0 estar\'e1s en una mejor posici\'f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\'e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\'a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\'f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\'e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\'ednica de emergencias cercana),\'a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\'a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\'f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \'a0\'a0Tambi\'e9n haz cambios peque\'f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\'a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\'e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\'e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\'e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\'eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\'e1s informaci\'f3n.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. This is a very serious time. I don't mean to frighten you, but you are right to be concerned. The time right after people leave the hospital after receiving psychiatric services is a time of high risk for suicide. It is very important, after hospitalization,\'a0to get\'a0follow-up care with a professional as soon as possible. If your husband has an established therapist, this is the time to call. It is also a good time to alert your support system of friends, family, clergy or others to let them know he is still struggling. This is good support for him AND you.It is important to think about means and opportunity to make another attempt. Means really do matter.\'a0 So, if you have a firearm in the home, it is really important to remove it. You can't remove all things that a person may hurt themselves with, but some things are more lethal than others. Firearms are very lethal. I am not sure what means he used last time, but try to reduce the opportunity for him to access it again. This is where your support system can help out. People can take turns hanging out with him until you are sure the crisis is over.If you believe that an attempt is going to occur, talk to your husband about going back to the hospital. If he refuses, you will want to find out what your options are to have him go even if he doesn't want to. I know the thought of that really hurts, but it can save his life. Calling 9-1-1 is always\'a0a\'a0good option if you are not sure. Usually a suicide crisis, meaning they want to harm themselves right now, lasts a few minutes, hours or days. Sometimes when you get them through the crisis stage, they no longer want to commit suicide. But, as you are indicating, that feeling of wanting to commit suicide can come back again. So, it is always good to have a plan. If you want more information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will always answer: 1-800-273-8255. They can help you create a specific safety plan. I do hope things work out alright. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \'a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\'92s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \'a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \'a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\'a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \'a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \'a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\'92s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\'92s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \'a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \'93I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\'94.\'a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\'a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\'a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\'a0\'bfC\'f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\'e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\'e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\'a0 Ahora est\'e1 deprimido y sin \'e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\'a0 Pero tambi\'e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\'a0 \'bfC\'f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \'a0\'a0Es com\'fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\'a0\'a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\'fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\'a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\'a0 estar\'e1s en una mejor posici\'f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\'e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\'a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\'f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\'e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\'ednica de emergencias cercana),\'a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\'a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\'f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \'a0\'a0Tambi\'e9n haz cambios peque\'f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\'a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\'e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\'e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\'e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\'eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\'e1s informaci\'f3n.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "The fact that you're reaching out for help here is really helpful.The first thing I would suggest is that you consider seeing a local mental health professional yourself to be able to talk about the details, how this is affecting you, and how you can hold onto you are while also being supportive to you husband.From the way that you describe this, I wonder what has changed since coming home from the hospital. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your husband this and mention that you are asking him questions to learn more about his experience and you can discuss how you notice that things were going much better when he came home from the hospital, and now things are not as good. Perhaps he can tell you about what is different so that you may know him would be most helpful to him.I also hope that you husband is still continuing with his own treatment.There may also be a local peer support telephone number for the county that you live in that they be able to help you determine whether your husband needs more immediate treatment if he is feeling hopeless again. There are national crisis telephone numbers listed below as well.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "Since as husband and wife your lives are closely joined, how your husband feels greatly influences the way you feel.Give yourself some time to concentrate on how you've been affected by your husband's suicide attempt. \'a0 Even if you decide against immediately telling him how you're feeling, knowing this about yourself will guide how and the topics you bring up with him.Is your husband talking easily with you?Do you have some ideas as to what is creating his feeling of hopelessness?The ideal approach would be if the two of you are able to discuss what bothers him and what bothers you.Depending on how far away you each are from such a position, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed professional therapist who can guide you and or you and your husband on opening up for discussion what feels stressful enough to merit taking one's own life.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "It seems like you are very receptive of your husband\'92s emotions and want to support him trough this time. \'a0But it is also important of being aware of your emotions. \'a0How are you feeling after the suicide attempt?\'a0 It is common to experience negative feelings while you try to make sense of the incident. \'a0Feelings like anger, shame, guilt and fear are frequent; while, wanting to avoid, minimize and become distant from the person are parts of the defense mechanism to attempt a quick resolution. \'a0Once you understand and overcome those feelings you may be in a better position to help your husband; who may be experiencing some negative feelings as well.First, it is important to have a safety plan in place, which includes removing harming objects from the home, knowing who to call if there\'92s a new attempt (either 9-1-1, or nearby treatment center), have a professional expert who monitors you and your husband\'92s progress, either a Counselor or mental health provider could help you manage negative feelings and identify ways to handle triggering situations.Once the safety plan is in place, \'a0make him feel supported and not judged, saying open ended statements, like: \'93I am glad that you are here, please let me know what I can do to help you through this process\'94.\'a0 Making small changes toward a healthier living may help as well.\'a0 Exercising, eating healthier and practicing new leisure activities may be good ways to start.\'a0 Also, explore your spirituality and your husbands, looking for ways to encourage each other by joining a support group or finding people who share your spiritual beliefs.If you have more questions or concerns I offer teletherapy in the State of Texas, and traditional Counseling in Puerto Rico, call 787-466-5478.\'a0\'bfC\'f3mo puedo ayudar a mi esposo despu\'e9s de un intento de suicidio?Despu\'e9s de que el llego a casa del hospital estaba enojado, luego por un tiempo maravilloso.\'a0 Ahora est\'e1 deprimido y sin \'e1nimos.Parece que estas muy atenta a los sentimientos de tu esposo, y que lo deseas ayudar durante este momento de su vida.\'a0 Pero tambi\'e9n es importante estar consciente de tus propias emociones.\'a0 \'bfC\'f3mo te has sentido luego de este intento de suicidio? \'a0\'a0Es com\'fan que experimentes emociones negativas mientras los recientes sucesos hacen sentido.\'a0\'a0 Sentimientos como coraje, verg\'fcenza, culpa y miedo son comunes, y el querer evitar, minimizar o distanciarte son mecanismos de defensa igualmente comunes.\'a0 Ya que comprendas y superes estos sentimientos,\'a0 estar\'e1s en una mejor posici\'f3n para ofrecerle ayuda, recuerda que tu esposo tambi\'e9n debe de estar experimentando sentimientos negativos.\'a0Es muy importante tener un plan de seguridad, esto incluye remover todos los objetos que pueden ser da\'f1inos o facilitar un futuro atentado, saber a qui\'e9n llamar en caso de una emergencia (9-1-1 o una cl\'ednica de emergencias cercana),\'a0 tener un experto que monitoree tu progreso y el de tu esposo, puede ser un Consejero u otro experto de salud mental que te ayude a manejar los sentimientos negativos y situaciones retantes.Ya que el plan de seguridad sea activado, crea un ambiente donde tu esposo se sienta apoyado y no juzgado.\'a0 Utiliza frases abiertas para comunicarte, dile que estas feliz de que este contigo, y quieres saber c\'f3mo puedes ayudarlo durante esta etapa. \'a0\'a0Tambi\'e9n haz cambios peque\'f1os para mejorar su calidad de vida como pareja.\'a0 Hacer ejercicios, comer m\'e1s saludable y compartir actividades puede ser un buen comienzo. Explorar tu espiritualidad y la de tu esposo tambi\'e9n puede ser de ayuda, y encontrar personas o grupos que compartan esos mismos intereses puede ser una manera de mantenerse motivados.Si tienes m\'e1s preguntas o preocupaciones sobre el tema, ofrezco teleterapia en Texas y Consejer\'eda Tradicional en Puerto Rico, llama al 787-466-5478 para m\'e1s informaci\'f3n.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. This is a very serious time. I don't mean to frighten you, but you are right to be concerned. The time right after people leave the hospital after receiving psychiatric services is a time of high risk for suicide. It is very important, after hospitalization,\'a0to get\'a0follow-up care with a professional as soon as possible. If your husband has an established therapist, this is the time to call. It is also a good time to alert your support system of friends, family, clergy or others to let them know he is still struggling. This is good support for him AND you.It is important to think about means and opportunity to make another attempt. Means really do matter.\'a0 So, if you have a firearm in the home, it is really important to remove it. You can't remove all things that a person may hurt themselves with, but some things are more lethal than others. Firearms are very lethal. I am not sure what means he used last time, but try to reduce the opportunity for him to access it again. This is where your support system can help out. People can take turns hanging out with him until you are sure the crisis is over.If you believe that an attempt is going to occur, talk to your husband about going back to the hospital. If he refuses, you will want to find out what your options are to have him go even if he doesn't want to. I know the thought of that really hurts, but it can save his life. Calling 9-1-1 is always\'a0a\'a0good option if you are not sure. Usually a suicide crisis, meaning they want to harm themselves right now, lasts a few minutes, hours or days. Sometimes when you get them through the crisis stage, they no longer want to commit suicide. But, as you are indicating, that feeling of wanting to commit suicide can come back again. So, it is always good to have a plan. If you want more information, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They will always answer: 1-800-273-8255. They can help you create a specific safety plan. I do hope things work out alright. Be well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This is actually more common then we often realize, and actually understandable, as he has gone through a trauma, an unresolved existential crisis. \'a0He was taken care of by others and now is again left alone with his own internal, and rather horrific inner struggle.In my work with CCT, or Contextual Conceptual Therapy, (see www.suicidetherapy.com) I have learned how trapped suicidal\'a0people are in their own isolation, also called a ""mysterious isolation,"" a form of self protection which cuts the off from their Self, or spirit. \'a0And unless they address this message from their soul, accompany a guide on a journey to discover their own missing information, that is to recognize how their own uncomforted emotional\'a0pain has resulted in a coping stategy which has effectively cut themselves off from their own beauty, their Self, and their ability to receive love from themselves and others.\'a0Their attempt to kill themselves is a cry from their soul or spirit that they cannot live the life they are living any longer. \'a0They take this literally and try to end their life, when in fact what their soul or spirit is saying is they need to begin to live the life they came here to live.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "I'm thankful to read your husband found care and that his suicide attempt wasn't successful.\'a0\'a0 While he was hospitalized, and prior to his release, your husband would've been provided in writing a self-care action plan. This typically includes things like committing to a contract 'not to harm' and what to do if he felt overwhelmed by his anger, depression, and hopelessness (e.g. call 911, call therapist, go to nearest hospital emergency department). Additionally, his protocol would've provided instructions for his taking medication(s) as directed, having a follow-up appointment(s) with his psychiatrist/psychologist/clinical social worker, and participating in some form of small group support.\'a0 If your husband's struggling as you describe, and you are feeling overwhelmed or frightened for his (your) safety, I'd encourage you to seek immediate assistance.", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "I appreciate that you are concerned about your husband's emotions and want to support him as best you can right now. I imagine that you must be going through your own difficult time too. You've had a complicated shock and trauma in your life and in your marriage; it's normal for both of your emotions to move from hope to despair to fear, anger, gratitude... there is no wrong way to feel and there is no particular pattern your emotions or his will follow.\'a0Try not to assume what he is feeling but ask him instead. ""How are you doing today?"" is something that can be asked over and over again and your love and compassion for him will come through. If he has a hard time talking, you can share your observations. ""I notice you're more withdrawn. This worries me."" Certainly it will help you if you know what he's thinking and feeling because he hid his intentions to hurt himself. It's normal that you want to know.\'a0If there is depression and hopelessness, this likely was part of what led to his initial despair. There is help out there. Depression is treatable, and seeking that treatment is important right now at this vulnerable time. This is the kind of complex situation that can be assisted by a therapist who is qualified to help you both understand and manage your emotions. Whether your husband seeks help or not, I hope that you do.", |
How can I help my husband after a suicide attempt?"After he got home from the hospital he was angry then for a time wonderful. Now he is depressed and hopeless again." | "This must be so difficult for both of you. \'a0Watching someone you love suffer so profoundly can bring up lots of difficult feelings. \'a0Without knowing what you are already doing, I have a few thoughts to share with you.\'a0First and foremost, know that you cannot fix this for him, and get support for yourself.As much as you are able, make space in your relationship for him to talk about what he is experiencing. \'a0He might not want to talk, and that is ok.If he wants to talk, try to listen without judgement and without trying to talk him out of his feelings. \'a0Focus on validating his feelings and just sitting with him in his pain.Let him know how you feel...that you love him, that you care, that you are concerned, that this is scary for you too, that you are here.I hope that this is helpful. \'a0On my website (www.sarahmcintyrelpc.com), I've written a series of blog posts about coping with distress. \'a0The techniques I've written about there may be supportive for you and your husband. \'a0Sending warm wishes your way.\'a0\'a0-Sarah", | "A failed suicide attempt is commonly thought of as a \'93cry for help,\'94 however it can also be a serious attempt to find a permanent solution to depression, hopelessness or other feelings a person feels are unbearable. It\'92s wonderful that you want to support your husband, but If your husband is feeling depressed and hopeless, you can best help him by getting him to a mental health professional. Feelings of hopelessness and depression, and previous attempts at suicide are all risk factors for future suicide attempts.\'a0With a mental health professional, or in the emergency room of a hospital, your husband should be evaluated for suicidal thoughts, intent and plan, and if he is a danger to himself he should probably be hospitalized again until he is stable. Without knowing the particulars, your husband may suffer from Major Depressive Disorder or some other illness on the depressive spectrum. In that case medication could help him immensely, at which point you can offer your support and encouragement him to practice gentle self-care. And do not forget to practice it for yourself. \'a0Remember: a suicide attempt not only affects the person, but it is an immense stressor for his or her loved ones as well. As they say, \'93put your oxygen mask on first.\'94 Then you will be better able to provide your husband with calm and loving care and attention.Kayla Schwartz, LMSW[email\'a0protected]", |
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