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How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Being in this position is tough. If seeking another career opportunity isn't viable, there are a couple of things you can do to manage stress on the job.\'a0\'a01. Have a ritual to begin the day: \'a0Consider setting a one sentence intention and plan tasks for the day2. Take the breaks you are offered. I know it can be difficult to step away from your desk to eat lunch or take 10-minute\'a0breaks during the day, but prioritize this if you can. Sometimes 30 minutes of downtime and fresh air can help you feel better.\'a03. \'a0Have a ritual to end the day: \'a0If you commute by car consider an end of the day playlist. \'a0Take a walk. Light a candle. \'a0Clear your desk and write tasks for the next day. Whatever it is, send a signal to your brain that it is time to end the day.4. If you do work from home or are expected to be available\'a0after hours, set boundaries where you can. \'a0Set a timer for answering emails and stick to that. \'a0Have phone free meals. \'a0 \'a0Try to engage in activities that are rejuvenating like spending time the friends and family. \'a05. Try to limit alcohol/ drugs. \'a0Move as much as you can. \'a0Get outside in natural sunlight. \'a0These are just ideas/ suggestions. \'a0Even doing one of these things could be a step in the right direction. \'a0Best of luck!", | "Recognize your reason for continuing to work for this place.Sometimes ""overworked and underpaid"" is tolerable bc of the valuable learning which the person will take with them when they've decided the time has come for these lessons to end.Or, are you in this place bc it is an easy commute to your home or fits well with other parts of your life such as education or some health related program?As long as you have a good reason to be there, you will feel there is good purpose.If there is no good purpose and every day you wake up to work for a place you can't stand, then its time to look for a new position.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Hello. Workplace stress is one of those areas of living that troubles many people who need an income to survive. The interactions between you and coworkers is a mixed bag, and sorting that out can be difficult. Also, if you are feeling under appreciated and not well paid, this can add bitterness to your lot of emotions. A few questions can be kept in mind as you work through your situation. Do you have the option of talking to your employer about your experiences and feelings with regard to your current work? Do you have local resources that you can use to find different jobs in your field? Do you have connections with employment counselors or agencies that can support you with strategies in dealing with workplace stress? These questions might cause others to bubble up, and could begin a new journey into a new field.While still at your job, what can you do to take care of yourself? Are you taking breaks? Do you eat lunch at the office, or do you go somewhere away from the office to eat? What do you do when you have a few moments to breathe? Understanding that you can indeed find even the smallest strategies useful for self-care, can help bolster your energy and give you some support as you move through the day. Seeking the support of family and friends can be helpful as well. Knowing your personal limits and when to pull back and take a break will give you a chance to recharge your mental and physical energy, thus helping you face the demands of your job.", | "Ugh!\'a0 We spend so many hours at work, so if it's a tough environment it can really drag you down.\'a0\'a0Is this your ""dream job"" gone sour or a ""just pay the bills"" deal that has gotten stale?\'a0 It makes a big difference in terms of next steps.For example, if this job is a step on the way to a bigger goal, it might be time to assess whether you need to be moving along to then next phase.\'a0 Have you learned what you needed to learn to make this a helpful experience?\'a0 Or do you sense there is more to learn, but you feel stuck in some way?\'a0If this current job is part of a bigger plan, then you need to practice some good self care, set up ways to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing, and make sure you are including some ""carrots"" along the way.\'a0 That might mean spending some time each week networking (preferably live but online works well too) with peers in similar situations (entrepreneur groups, skill building trainings, etc).\'a0 Big dreams require small steps, but we all need support along the way.If , however, this is ""just a job"", then you really have to reassess your situation.\'a0 If you are burned out and not getting paid your worth then\'a0 look around for other opportunities.\'a0 You are employed, not owned.\'a0\'a0You mentioned anxiety, and while I don't want to minimize the very real issues anxiety presents, is it possible that some of your anxiety can be seen as ""revving your engine""\'a0 and readying you to move on?\'a0 Or is it that pervasive feeling\'a0 of never being able to finish your work, feeling like you will be ""in trouble"", or dreading every single moment of your workday?\'a0 The first is a potentially positive motivator, the second is just bad for you.\'a0 \'a0See the difference?In order to feel any satisfaction with your job, it needs to be financially rewarding (to a level that makes sense), be a good atmosphere to learn, be supportive and/or be a step on the way to a bigger plan you have.\'a0 If your job isn't fulfilling any of those criteria, you need to move on.\'a0\'a0And finally, if the only reason you have this job is to pay the bills, and you truly see no way around keeping your current position for now, remember why you are there - this is a job, not a family.\'a0 You rent your brain and body to your employer, not your heart and soul.\'a0 Those belong to you and you are responsible for feeding them.\'a0 That means good self-care, making sure you have social engagement (face-to-face, not just online), move your body, feel the sun on your face daily, creating ways to refresh your body and mind and generally taking care of your whole being.Discomfort exists for a reason - it primes us for change, gives us the necessary motivation to take reasonable risks, and pesters us until we do so.\'a0 The first step is to figure out what change is realistic, and take action.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Hello. Workplace stress is one of those areas of living that troubles many people who need an income to survive. The interactions between you and coworkers is a mixed bag, and sorting that out can be difficult. Also, if you are feeling under appreciated and not well paid, this can add bitterness to your lot of emotions. A few questions can be kept in mind as you work through your situation. Do you have the option of talking to your employer about your experiences and feelings with regard to your current work? Do you have local resources that you can use to find different jobs in your field? Do you have connections with employment counselors or agencies that can support you with strategies in dealing with workplace stress? These questions might cause others to bubble up, and could begin a new journey into a new field.While still at your job, what can you do to take care of yourself? Are you taking breaks? Do you eat lunch at the office, or do you go somewhere away from the office to eat? What do you do when you have a few moments to breathe? Understanding that you can indeed find even the smallest strategies useful for self-care, can help bolster your energy and give you some support as you move through the day. Seeking the support of family and friends can be helpful as well. Knowing your personal limits and when to pull back and take a break will give you a chance to recharge your mental and physical energy, thus helping you face the demands of your job.", | "It sounds like you are experiencing burnout and have very little, if no job satisfaction. \'a0There are some aspects of this that are in your control and others that are not. \'a0What type of work do you typically enjoy? \'a0Do you enjoy high stress work? What keeps you in this job? Is there a reason you have stayed? \'a0Is your boss reasonable to have a conversation with? \'a0I recommend a few things. \'a0For one, you may want to have a discussion with your boss about your job duties and see if there is a way to either eliminate some responsibilities or get higher pay. \'a0Another option, if you are unable to have an open conversation, you can start to look at an ideal work situation, what would you like/ be OK with/ absolutely hate about a job. Then possibly try to look for a new job that fits these qualifications.\'a0If you are unable to leave your job, you may want to attempt to balance your work life with more activities that create joy outside of work. \'a0Sometimes that balance can help you tolerate work more. \'a0I recommend that you find a supportive person to talk with and process these frustrations as burnout can lead us to do things we may regret.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Hello. Workplace stress is one of those areas of living that troubles many people who need an income to survive. The interactions between you and coworkers is a mixed bag, and sorting that out can be difficult. Also, if you are feeling under appreciated and not well paid, this can add bitterness to your lot of emotions. A few questions can be kept in mind as you work through your situation. Do you have the option of talking to your employer about your experiences and feelings with regard to your current work? Do you have local resources that you can use to find different jobs in your field? Do you have connections with employment counselors or agencies that can support you with strategies in dealing with workplace stress? These questions might cause others to bubble up, and could begin a new journey into a new field.While still at your job, what can you do to take care of yourself? Are you taking breaks? Do you eat lunch at the office, or do you go somewhere away from the office to eat? What do you do when you have a few moments to breathe? Understanding that you can indeed find even the smallest strategies useful for self-care, can help bolster your energy and give you some support as you move through the day. Seeking the support of family and friends can be helpful as well. Knowing your personal limits and when to pull back and take a break will give you a chance to recharge your mental and physical energy, thus helping you face the demands of your job.", | "Recognize your reason for continuing to work for this place.Sometimes ""overworked and underpaid"" is tolerable bc of the valuable learning which the person will take with them when they've decided the time has come for these lessons to end.Or, are you in this place bc it is an easy commute to your home or fits well with other parts of your life such as education or some health related program?As long as you have a good reason to be there, you will feel there is good purpose.If there is no good purpose and every day you wake up to work for a place you can't stand, then its time to look for a new position.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Ugh!\'a0 We spend so many hours at work, so if it's a tough environment it can really drag you down.\'a0\'a0Is this your ""dream job"" gone sour or a ""just pay the bills"" deal that has gotten stale?\'a0 It makes a big difference in terms of next steps.For example, if this job is a step on the way to a bigger goal, it might be time to assess whether you need to be moving along to then next phase.\'a0 Have you learned what you needed to learn to make this a helpful experience?\'a0 Or do you sense there is more to learn, but you feel stuck in some way?\'a0If this current job is part of a bigger plan, then you need to practice some good self care, set up ways to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing, and make sure you are including some ""carrots"" along the way.\'a0 That might mean spending some time each week networking (preferably live but online works well too) with peers in similar situations (entrepreneur groups, skill building trainings, etc).\'a0 Big dreams require small steps, but we all need support along the way.If , however, this is ""just a job"", then you really have to reassess your situation.\'a0 If you are burned out and not getting paid your worth then\'a0 look around for other opportunities.\'a0 You are employed, not owned.\'a0\'a0You mentioned anxiety, and while I don't want to minimize the very real issues anxiety presents, is it possible that some of your anxiety can be seen as ""revving your engine""\'a0 and readying you to move on?\'a0 Or is it that pervasive feeling\'a0 of never being able to finish your work, feeling like you will be ""in trouble"", or dreading every single moment of your workday?\'a0 The first is a potentially positive motivator, the second is just bad for you.\'a0 \'a0See the difference?In order to feel any satisfaction with your job, it needs to be financially rewarding (to a level that makes sense), be a good atmosphere to learn, be supportive and/or be a step on the way to a bigger plan you have.\'a0 If your job isn't fulfilling any of those criteria, you need to move on.\'a0\'a0And finally, if the only reason you have this job is to pay the bills, and you truly see no way around keeping your current position for now, remember why you are there - this is a job, not a family.\'a0 You rent your brain and body to your employer, not your heart and soul.\'a0 Those belong to you and you are responsible for feeding them.\'a0 That means good self-care, making sure you have social engagement (face-to-face, not just online), move your body, feel the sun on your face daily, creating ways to refresh your body and mind and generally taking care of your whole being.Discomfort exists for a reason - it primes us for change, gives us the necessary motivation to take reasonable risks, and pesters us until we do so.\'a0 The first step is to figure out what change is realistic, and take action.", | "It sounds like you are experiencing burnout and have very little, if no job satisfaction. \'a0There are some aspects of this that are in your control and others that are not. \'a0What type of work do you typically enjoy? \'a0Do you enjoy high stress work? What keeps you in this job? Is there a reason you have stayed? \'a0Is your boss reasonable to have a conversation with? \'a0I recommend a few things. \'a0For one, you may want to have a discussion with your boss about your job duties and see if there is a way to either eliminate some responsibilities or get higher pay. \'a0Another option, if you are unable to have an open conversation, you can start to look at an ideal work situation, what would you like/ be OK with/ absolutely hate about a job. Then possibly try to look for a new job that fits these qualifications.\'a0If you are unable to leave your job, you may want to attempt to balance your work life with more activities that create joy outside of work. \'a0Sometimes that balance can help you tolerate work more. \'a0I recommend that you find a supportive person to talk with and process these frustrations as burnout can lead us to do things we may regret.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "Ugh!\'a0 We spend so many hours at work, so if it's a tough environment it can really drag you down.\'a0\'a0Is this your ""dream job"" gone sour or a ""just pay the bills"" deal that has gotten stale?\'a0 It makes a big difference in terms of next steps.For example, if this job is a step on the way to a bigger goal, it might be time to assess whether you need to be moving along to then next phase.\'a0 Have you learned what you needed to learn to make this a helpful experience?\'a0 Or do you sense there is more to learn, but you feel stuck in some way?\'a0If this current job is part of a bigger plan, then you need to practice some good self care, set up ways to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing, and make sure you are including some ""carrots"" along the way.\'a0 That might mean spending some time each week networking (preferably live but online works well too) with peers in similar situations (entrepreneur groups, skill building trainings, etc).\'a0 Big dreams require small steps, but we all need support along the way.If , however, this is ""just a job"", then you really have to reassess your situation.\'a0 If you are burned out and not getting paid your worth then\'a0 look around for other opportunities.\'a0 You are employed, not owned.\'a0\'a0You mentioned anxiety, and while I don't want to minimize the very real issues anxiety presents, is it possible that some of your anxiety can be seen as ""revving your engine""\'a0 and readying you to move on?\'a0 Or is it that pervasive feeling\'a0 of never being able to finish your work, feeling like you will be ""in trouble"", or dreading every single moment of your workday?\'a0 The first is a potentially positive motivator, the second is just bad for you.\'a0 \'a0See the difference?In order to feel any satisfaction with your job, it needs to be financially rewarding (to a level that makes sense), be a good atmosphere to learn, be supportive and/or be a step on the way to a bigger plan you have.\'a0 If your job isn't fulfilling any of those criteria, you need to move on.\'a0\'a0And finally, if the only reason you have this job is to pay the bills, and you truly see no way around keeping your current position for now, remember why you are there - this is a job, not a family.\'a0 You rent your brain and body to your employer, not your heart and soul.\'a0 Those belong to you and you are responsible for feeding them.\'a0 That means good self-care, making sure you have social engagement (face-to-face, not just online), move your body, feel the sun on your face daily, creating ways to refresh your body and mind and generally taking care of your whole being.Discomfort exists for a reason - it primes us for change, gives us the necessary motivation to take reasonable risks, and pesters us until we do so.\'a0 The first step is to figure out what change is realistic, and take action.", | "Recognize your reason for continuing to work for this place.Sometimes ""overworked and underpaid"" is tolerable bc of the valuable learning which the person will take with them when they've decided the time has come for these lessons to end.Or, are you in this place bc it is an easy commute to your home or fits well with other parts of your life such as education or some health related program?As long as you have a good reason to be there, you will feel there is good purpose.If there is no good purpose and every day you wake up to work for a place you can't stand, then its time to look for a new position.", |
How can I cope with work related stress better?"I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety but also demoralizing.\
What can I do to manage my stress?" | "It sounds like you are experiencing burnout and have very little, if no job satisfaction. \'a0There are some aspects of this that are in your control and others that are not. \'a0What type of work do you typically enjoy? \'a0Do you enjoy high stress work? What keeps you in this job? Is there a reason you have stayed? \'a0Is your boss reasonable to have a conversation with? \'a0I recommend a few things. \'a0For one, you may want to have a discussion with your boss about your job duties and see if there is a way to either eliminate some responsibilities or get higher pay. \'a0Another option, if you are unable to have an open conversation, you can start to look at an ideal work situation, what would you like/ be OK with/ absolutely hate about a job. Then possibly try to look for a new job that fits these qualifications.\'a0If you are unable to leave your job, you may want to attempt to balance your work life with more activities that create joy outside of work. \'a0Sometimes that balance can help you tolerate work more. \'a0I recommend that you find a supportive person to talk with and process these frustrations as burnout can lead us to do things we may regret.", | "Recognize your reason for continuing to work for this place.Sometimes ""overworked and underpaid"" is tolerable bc of the valuable learning which the person will take with them when they've decided the time has come for these lessons to end.Or, are you in this place bc it is an easy commute to your home or fits well with other parts of your life such as education or some health related program?As long as you have a good reason to be there, you will feel there is good purpose.If there is no good purpose and every day you wake up to work for a place you can't stand, then its time to look for a new position.", |
Why do I feel like I'm always wrong in everything in my relationship?"My wife is always accusing me of cheating and telling me that I'm doing things she finds disrespectful even when I don't mean it like that. For example she gets offended when I call someone at work ""sweetheart."" I wish I had a penny for every time she accused me of cheating on her. She doesn't and never will say she was wrong. How do I get her to understand?" | "You may not get her to understand your point of view with any more success than your wife is having with you to do the same.It is possible you are a balanced couple in the sense of neither one of you understanding the other.The deeper question to ponder is whether each of you can accept the other person even though you each have very different terms for defining ""cheating"".You will find either there are enough strong similarities to keep the two of you happy as a couple, or there aren't these similarities.Then, the new question would be whether either of you want to address your findings or not.", | "Here is the truth: You will never get her to understand! because that would mean changing her and we can't change other people we can only change ourselves. I would recommend to take the time to self reflect on what exactly it is that you are doing that is contributing to the mixup. You both have very valid feelings and those won't magically go away until you address the root problem (which could be many factors).\'a0I am curious to know more about past relationships the both of you have had and how that plays a role in your current relationship. Many times we don't realize how past relationships truly impact our current behaviors.", |
How do I get over a coworker?"I've worked with this guy for about three years now and I knew the first time I saw him that I was attracted. Over time he became a very dear friend and we talked about our relationship problems family dreams and so on. There was always flirtation with us and one day pretty recently it progressed to making out. We agreed to keep it quiet and we did but in the back of my mind I hoped it would become something more. It didn't and three months later I'm still not over it.\
I'm trying so hard to maintain the friendship because that's what he wants. We're no longer in the same office which I thought would help me get over these feelings but we still talk about work and he's constantly touching me so I'm still very drawn to him. He's a hugger and such a sweet guy so I find myself fantasizing all the time about what could have been and what could still be but he's clearly not interested. He's younger than me and prefers model types but I see him checking me out a lot which gives me hope. How do I get him out of my system and still maintain the friendship?" | "How frustrating to want a relationship with someone who does not feel similarly!The person who needs to be at the top of your list of those whose interest you consider, is yourself.Most often, staying engaged in dialogue, affection, sex, with someone who has different reasons than you have, for doing so, creates longing, frustration and sadness.Since the guy has told you he would like limiting his involvement with you, more than likely you will be protecting yourself from disappointed wishes, by taking his words seriously.Since you've made your interest in him clear, it sound like he's taking advantage of what you're willing to offer him.As long as he's not reciprocating with the involvement you'd like, why continue being available to him?The one area that is open to you in a positive way, is to understand which qualities of this guy you find attractive.By understanding more about your own interests about a potential partner, the stronger you will be able to step away from those who would like you for their reasons, which have nothing or very little in common \'a0with yours.Good luck with defining the qualities of a partner with who you will feel fulfilled by sharing yourself.", | "It sounds like a tricky situation. If you want to maintain your friendship and continue to have regular contact with him, getting over him may not be possible. What makes it even trickier is that his actions (hugs and touching) may be misleading and are allowing you to believe that a romantic relationship is possible. Some ways in which we naturally get over others are when we fall in love with someone else or when we suddenly see the person we like in a more negative or unattractive light. If you truly want to force yourself to get over him, cutting contact\'a0or setting strict boundaries may be necessary. If you don't see him, over time you can begin to forget about him. If you set boundaries by discontinuing to allow the hugs and touches, you will not feel mislead or\'a0have the idea in your mind that he is being flirtatious or interested.\'a0It would be difficult to continue the relationship as is and expect your feelings\'a0to change. Thus, being proactive by talking to him about boundaries or cutting contact with him are two things you can do that will likely help you to get over him. Good luck!", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "The older I get, the more I believe that our real task isn't to 'find' ourselves. We're already 100% ""there."" What we do have to do is become more mindful of the times when we feel the most alive, most happy, most creative, and most fully engaged with life. It is in those moments that we find ourselves.For example, I couldn't help loving the people or things I loved, no matter who tried to talk me out of them. All I needed to do was notice when my heart opened and I felt the most alive--not because I was afraid or addicted, but because in those moments, I was in contact with my highest self.\'a0On the flip side, I needed to recognize the people and activities that consistently brought out the worst in me--the ones that made me feel controlled, constricted, dishonest, resentful, or afraid--and be honest about them.\'a0Mindfulness of ""what already is"" is the key to finding yourself. Align yourself with the people and activities that matter most to you. Don't let old habits, crappy jobs, or mean-spirited people define you. Just stumble your way forward as best you can, with greater self-awareness followed by affirmative action..", | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.\'a0At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of ""finding yourself,"" is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. \'a0The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.", | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well.", | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "This quiet wonder that you have is something you can easily explore. There is a part of you that you can access anytime, anywhere. It is the part that has always been with you. Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a while and get comfortable. Settle in. Let your thoughts go by like a river.\'a0Stay with that connection for a while. What you find in the silence is yours alone, your ""you"".", | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Start by giving yourself enough quiet and time to remember about yourself what feels steady and consistent in your nature and interactions with others.Give yourself the freedom to your interest in having interests. \'a0Are you motivated because of competing with others or because an activity itself feels satisfying?If you are able to develop a sense of defining yourself without fear of judging yourself, you will start coming close to knowing who you are.", | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", | "Because you put this under the category of spirituality, I'm not sure whether you are asking how you find yourself as far as religious or spiritual beliefs or overall.If you are talking about learning more about religious or spirituality, consider either going to or speaking with someone who is involved with a nondenominational church service (the Salvation Army usually has something) so you can discuss questions or ideas that you may have.As far as finding yourself in general, I suggest considering what makes you happy and/or comfortable. I also wonder if looking at the list of values here may be helpful to you:\'a0 |
How do I find myself?I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | "I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.", | "This is perhaps the deepest question that one can ask of themselves and the answer is as elusive as the deepest enigma. We are fluid beings, we are never the same from day to day, we learn or unlearn, we evolve or some of us even devolve, we are in a state of constant flux, changing and adapting, like a cloud in the sky that has its shape changed by the wind, life whittles us away and carves us constantly, trying to understand this question is like trying to bite your own teeth, however we can have a sense of what we would call our core and to understand the core, we need to live and to experience, but also to think deeply, analytically, and critically, by engaging with life we get a sense that we are like the Earth itself, inside of us there is a core, just as there is inside our planet but our continents shift and change over time, like those continents so does our own nature shift throughout our lives.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)", | "It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)", | "Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)", | "Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)", | "Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Desire to inhabit the opposite sex's body derives from too fast of a re-entry into a new (feminine) body, after being released in a previous life, from an old (masculine) body.You remember the previous life's connection with the masculine experience and body, and wish to find a way to be more comfortable.We will approach this matter, spiritually, and I reckon you'll feel a great deal better :)", | "First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry you are not feeling accepted by your family. I know how \'a0isolating and lonely this can be. The most important step you can take right now is building a community of supportive people who do accept you. Creating your own sense of community is very powerful for helping you love yourself. If you can find a trans support or LGBTQ support group in your area, I recommend seeking that out right away through your local LGBTQ center or PFLAG. If you don\'92t have access to that, I recommend calling Trans Lifeline US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366 |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.", | "Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.", | "Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.", | "Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "It is really important for you to be comfortable with your identity. With that said, it is also so important for you to be safe. It may be helpful for you to find supports (in your life, community, or online) that you can talk about how you feel and potentially gain supportive persons if your family does not accept you. It will be really important to connect with others and even a counselor to help you.", | "First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry you are not feeling accepted by your family. I know how \'a0isolating and lonely this can be. The most important step you can take right now is building a community of supportive people who do accept you. Creating your own sense of community is very powerful for helping you love yourself. If you can find a trans support or LGBTQ support group in your area, I recommend seeking that out right away through your local LGBTQ center or PFLAG. If you don\'92t have access to that, I recommend calling Trans Lifeline US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366 |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!", | "Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.", | "Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry you are not feeling accepted by your family. I know how \'a0isolating and lonely this can be. The most important step you can take right now is building a community of supportive people who do accept you. Creating your own sense of community is very powerful for helping you love yourself. If you can find a trans support or LGBTQ support group in your area, I recommend seeking that out right away through your local LGBTQ center or PFLAG. If you don\'92t have access to that, I recommend calling Trans Lifeline US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366 | "Chances are your family already knows, they are probably just waiting on confirmation from you to say it. A parent knows their child.", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.", | "Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry you are not feeling accepted by your family. I know how \'a0isolating and lonely this can be. The most important step you can take right now is building a community of supportive people who do accept you. Creating your own sense of community is very powerful for helping you love yourself. If you can find a trans support or LGBTQ support group in your area, I recommend seeking that out right away through your local LGBTQ center or PFLAG. If you don\'92t have access to that, I recommend calling Trans Lifeline US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366 | "Spirituality for those in the LGBTQ community can be one of the more difficult roads. Unfortunately, many unjustly ostracize members of the LGBTQ community away from faith and spirituality. I believe that folks can embrace the identity that is genuine to them, and still maintain their spiritual beliefs! Briefly, the keys are to first monitor how we allow those in our life to influence our thoughts and emotions. We need to create standards and boundaries to protect ourselves. We also need to not project the judgment of other people onto our individual spiritual beliefs! There are many ways in which to tackle this effort!", |
I want to be a boy but I can't because of my religion"I was born a girl but I want to be a boy. Because of my religion I can't tell my family. I know they won't accept me. What do I do?" | "Ultimately, to suppress your natural identity will work against you.However difficult, painful, frightening, it is to tell your family about your discovery about who you are, trying to avoid your own truth will do you harm eventually.One way to make this conversation easier for yourself is to prepare yourself for the outcomes you expect and know will be difficult.Take as much time as you need to accept the potential rejection because this way iff and when it comes you will be better able to handle it.", | "First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry you are not feeling accepted by your family. I know how \'a0isolating and lonely this can be. The most important step you can take right now is building a community of supportive people who do accept you. Creating your own sense of community is very powerful for helping you love yourself. If you can find a trans support or LGBTQ support group in your area, I recommend seeking that out right away through your local LGBTQ center or PFLAG. If you don\'92t have access to that, I recommend calling Trans Lifeline US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366 |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.\'a0 He may have fears that you may go off the ""straight and narrow"" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive.\'a0I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.\'a0\'a0Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.\'a0 \'a0\'a0God bless.", | "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \'a0You cannot change that for him. \'a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \'a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't ""fix"" this for him. \'a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \'a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \'a0The person they claim to love. \'a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \'a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \'a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\'a0Allison", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.\'a0 He may have fears that you may go off the ""straight and narrow"" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive.\'a0I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.\'a0\'a0Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.\'a0 \'a0\'a0God bless.", | "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\'a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\
there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\
river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\
old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\
only its own crystal self.\
Each creature in its own\
manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\
was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\
from birth.\
But one creature said\
at last, ""I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\
I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\
it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.""\
The other creatures laughed\
and said, ""Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\
and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!""\
But the one heeded them\
not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\
by the current across the rocks.\
Yet in time, as the creature\
refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\
he was bruised and hurt no more.\
And the creatures downstream,\
to whom he was a stranger, cried, ""See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\
yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!""\
And the one carried in\
the current said, ""I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\
lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\
adventure.""\
But they cried the more,\
""Savior!"" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\
he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.\'a0 He may have fears that you may go off the ""straight and narrow"" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive.\'a0I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.\'a0\'a0Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.\'a0 \'a0\'a0God bless.", | "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \'a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.\'a0 He may have fears that you may go off the ""straight and narrow"" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive.\'a0I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.\'a0\'a0Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.\'a0 \'a0\'a0God bless.", | "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \'a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful ""active listening"" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You might ask your fiance about people who have let him down in the past; past hurts from parents, friends, people he has dated. If you are speaking about jealousy he may come from a divorced parent upbringing, may have seen parents cheat on one or the other, may have had partners cheat on him in the past.\'a0 He may have fears that you may go off the ""straight and narrow"" once you get married. Listen to any concerns with patience and understanding, avoid being defensive.\'a0I would highly encourage pre-marital counseling to explore these things and individual counseling for himself to work on fears and anxieties. If he refuses and things do not improve I would consider postponing the wedding, things will not get better once you get married, only magnified.\'a0\'a0Finally show him Bible passages about forgiveness and worry and leaning on God with faith and hope for the future.\'a0 \'a0\'a0God bless.", | "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\'e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\'e9 feel that way.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\'a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\
there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\
river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\
old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\
only its own crystal self.\
Each creature in its own\
manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\
was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\
from birth.\
But one creature said\
at last, ""I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\
I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\
it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.""\
The other creatures laughed\
and said, ""Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\
and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!""\
But the one heeded them\
not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\
by the current across the rocks.\
Yet in time, as the creature\
refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\
he was bruised and hurt no more.\
And the creatures downstream,\
to whom he was a stranger, cried, ""See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\
yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!""\
And the one carried in\
the current said, ""I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\
lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\
adventure.""\
But they cried the more,\
""Savior!"" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\
he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.", | "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \'a0You cannot change that for him. \'a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \'a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't ""fix"" this for him. \'a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \'a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \'a0The person they claim to love. \'a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \'a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \'a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\'a0Allison", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \'a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", | "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \'a0You cannot change that for him. \'a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \'a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't ""fix"" this for him. \'a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \'a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \'a0The person they claim to love. \'a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \'a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \'a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\'a0Allison", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \'a0You cannot change that for him. \'a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \'a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't ""fix"" this for him. \'a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \'a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \'a0The person they claim to love. \'a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \'a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \'a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\'a0Allison", | "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \'a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful ""active listening"" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "You are right that his insecurities are at the root of the issue. \'a0You cannot change that for him. \'a0He will have to do the work to handle those emotions on his own. \'a0What you can do is reassure him in whatever ways possible, but always recognizing that you can't ""fix"" this for him. \'a0When I work with people who struggle with their partner's past experiences, I always frame it like this: \'a0Everything that you've experienced has resulted in you being the person you are today. \'a0The person they claim to love. \'a0If you had not gone through some of those experiences, you would not be in the position you're in now, ready to commit to him and know that you're satisfied with that. \'a0Just as when bad things happen to us, we have to find a way to appreciate the lessons learned your fiance has to accept that you're the person you are today because of what you have gone through. \'a0Celebrate that you have moved through that and have landed in this perfect position with him!Hope that helps,\'a0Allison", | "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\'e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\'e9 feel that way.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\'a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\
there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\
river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\
old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\
only its own crystal self.\
Each creature in its own\
manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\
was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\
from birth.\
But one creature said\
at last, ""I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\
I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\
it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.""\
The other creatures laughed\
and said, ""Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\
and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!""\
But the one heeded them\
not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\
by the current across the rocks.\
Yet in time, as the creature\
refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\
he was bruised and hurt no more.\
And the creatures downstream,\
to whom he was a stranger, cried, ""See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\
yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!""\
And the one carried in\
the current said, ""I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\
lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\
adventure.""\
But they cried the more,\
""Savior!"" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\
he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.", | "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \'a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\'a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\
there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\
river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\
old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\
only its own crystal self.\
Each creature in its own\
manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\
was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\
from birth.\
But one creature said\
at last, ""I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\
I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\
it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.""\
The other creatures laughed\
and said, ""Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\
and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!""\
But the one heeded them\
not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\
by the current across the rocks.\
Yet in time, as the creature\
refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\
he was bruised and hurt no more.\
And the creatures downstream,\
to whom he was a stranger, cried, ""See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\
yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!""\
And the one carried in\
the current said, ""I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\
lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\
adventure.""\
But they cried the more,\
""Savior!"" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\
he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.", | "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \'a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful ""active listening"" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "This suffering and clinging to the past, especially a troubled past or a past that we dont like, may be\'a0 amplified due to the Christian framework that may be built into your life. I am not averse to religion, i just think that many times it puts unreasonable expectations on us and helps us to form a guilt complex or perhaps even insecurities, we are humans and humans make mistakes. you mention the straight and narrow, this is a notion that you must give up on and let go, humans can never travel the straight and narrow for their whole lives there are bounds to be mistakes, we are the most fallible species on the planet and please tell your fiance to have some mercy on himself, he is not perfect. Here is a story about clinging on to things you may find useful to mediate on:Once\
there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal\
river. The current of the river swept silently over them all -- young and\
old, rich and poor, good and evil -- the current going its own way, knowing\
only its own crystal self.\
Each creature in its own\
manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging\
was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned\
from birth.\
But one creature said\
at last, ""I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes,\
I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let\
it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.""\
The other creatures laughed\
and said, ""Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled\
and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!""\
But the one heeded them\
not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed\
by the current across the rocks.\
Yet in time, as the creature\
refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and\
he was bruised and hurt no more.\
And the creatures downstream,\
to whom he was a stranger, cried, ""See a miracle! A creature like ourselves,\
yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!""\
And the one carried in\
the current said, ""I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to\
lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this\
adventure.""\
But they cried the more,\
""Savior!"" all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again\
he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a savior.", | "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\'e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\'e9 feel that way.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \'a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", | "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \'a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful ""active listening"" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "Your patience with his pace of accepting your past, is the factor most in your control in this situation.Everyone accepts a new understanding at their own particular rate. \'a0Yours may be faster than his pace.Since it is possible he may accelerate his pace of accepting your past if he knows that this is a priority for you, tell him about your own discomfort .Even if knowing how you feel does not motivate him to a quicker pace of accepting your past, you will have the peace of mind to know you gave him all the information you possibly had to give.", | "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\'e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\'e9 feel that way.", |
How can I help my fianc\'e accept and let go of my past?"My fianc\'e and I come from a strong Christian background but both went off the ""straight and narrow"" once before. He is having a hard time accepting my past especially that I'm not a virgin. He has a hard time in general accepting himself and others. His insecurities are hurting our relationship. How can I help him let go of my past and decide to live in the present?" | "Sometimes we have difficulty keeping the past in the past. The best way to build a great relationship and have a great future, believe it or not, is to be firmly placed in the present. That means that when we stay in the moment with our partner and can notice what we are experiencing in the here and now we reap the best benefits of that relationship. We notice the good things that are happening in the moment. We are reacting to what we are experiencing in the moment, not reacting to a worry about the past. We notice, especially, who the person is right now and not who they were in the past. \'a0We can connect with the things we love about them, too.I think it is great that you want to help him and the choice to stay in the present and move forward in the relationship will mostly be up to him. We cannot change another person. It sounds like couples counseling might be a great step for you because you can both learn the skills you need to stay in the present and also learn some helpful ""active listening"" skills so that you can really listen to one another and understand each other. Communication skills can really be helpful. You can both have the opportunity to hear each other and support each other. We cannot change the past, but we can create the future we want.Best of luck to you both!", | "One of the sometimes difficult things about being in a relationship is the fact that you can make goals for yourself, but you can't make goals for your partner. If your fianc\'e9 wants to learn to live more in the present and learn to let go of the past or move in a different direction, you can certainly assist him, but you can't independently make it happen.I wonder if both of you would be willing to have a discussion where he is able to explain to you what he is experiencing and you are able to listen for five, 10, 15 minutes in a way that is not blaming or pointing fingers or asking him to change, but just listening (kind of like an investigative reporter) so you can have more details and ask questions that you may have about what certain things mean, when it feels like to to him when this is discussed, etc. At that point, maybe he would willing to listen to your thoughts on the subject as well.Also, if he wants to make a change, it may be helpful to see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Sometimes changes such as these require a great deal of personal awareness and there can be quite a bit of emotions attached, so it is often helpful to have someone there to assist.It may also be nice to have a discussion where you consider what makes you feel valued, appreciated, special, or loved, and also consider what makes your fianc\'e9 feel that way.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Thanks for posting. \'a0This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty. \'a0You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions. \'a0What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying? \'a0Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion? \'a0Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world \'a0and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave. \'a0It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions. \'a0You can start this process by answering some of the above questions. \'a0We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with. \'a0As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real. \'a0It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that. \'a0Hope this helps at least a little bit.", | "The way that I see it is that Humans have always been afraid of life and death, historically we have always tried to understand life, we try to organize it, categorize it, explore it, and we've built up this system, our system and societies system around us to help us define what life and (death) is, this system or way is not real but only a perception of our own value judgements, it is, no matter how you try to argue it, a false system of conditioning, humans have a finite mind and a finite mind cannot ever hope to understand an infinite mind of which a god would be. God has been developed over time as a security blanket for our child-like selves, the world is a beautifully brutal place and what is more reassuring than a master that will take care of us and show us the way. On Earth alone there are thousands of gods and even many more systems of thought, economics, societal structures and so on, it is almost as though it were a supermarket with so many choices, we have more choices in gods than we do flavors of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, so then I ask you, ""which one is real?, and ""what is real?""", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Thanks for posting. \'a0This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty. \'a0You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions. \'a0What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying? \'a0Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion? \'a0Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world \'a0and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave. \'a0It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions. \'a0You can start this process by answering some of the above questions. \'a0We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with. \'a0As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real. \'a0It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that. \'a0Hope this helps at least a little bit.", | "It is not a stupid question, it is very basic. To help answer your question, let me begin with the premise that you will never have absolute proof. With that being said, one can look at different phenomena in nature and history and figure what is the statistical probability that they happened randomly. If one comes to the logical conclusion that many are quite improbable, then there must be a guiding force and plan.\'a0 May you be successful in your journey.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Thanks for posting. \'a0This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty. \'a0You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions. \'a0What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying? \'a0Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion? \'a0Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world \'a0and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave. \'a0It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions. \'a0You can start this process by answering some of the above questions. \'a0We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with. \'a0As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real. \'a0It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that. \'a0Hope this helps at least a little bit.", | "Your question is actually thoughtful and reflects a true interest to know more about life.No one knows if god is a lie because ""god"" is a concept in which people either make up their own definition of this concept, or believe one of the concepts of what god is, handed down by religions.All the religions exclude the other god concepts, and expect loyalty to believing in their particular version of ""god"".Probably god is real in the sense that most people want to believe there is guided purpose to what goes on in life.This is as definite as what we can know about ""god"".""God"" is not a lie because it is not a fact. \'a0Beliefs aren't provable.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Thanks for posting. \'a0This is a significant issue for many people and can make us feel helpless; among other emotions due to the uncertainty. \'a0You said that, at times, you feel like everyone is lying. Ask yourself some of these questions. \'a0What is it that makes you feel so strongly that they are lying? \'a0Where is the concrete evidence that they are lying? How could I test my thoughts about this? What if things are not what they seem on the surface? Am I any lesser of a person as a result of this person's behavior or opinion? \'a0Our beliefs about ourselves and the people and our world \'a0and how we interpret information and experiences have a significant effect on how we feel and how we behave. \'a0It is important to objectively challenge the beliefs that contribute to negative emotions. \'a0You can start this process by answering some of the above questions. \'a0We are unfortunately influenced by what and who we associate with. \'a0As it pertains to if God is a lie; be honest with yourself and question your beliefs that tell you that God is or is not real. \'a0It may be helpful for you to speak to a preacher or chaplain of some sort and they can help you with a lot of that. \'a0Hope this helps at least a little bit.", | "Believing in God is a\'a0matter of faith.\'a0 There are many opinions out there for and against God\'92s existence.\'a0 But the real question is not if God is real or not, but, do you want to have faith and decide that he exists?\'a0 This is a personal choice.\'a0 Reading scripture may help to learn more about those who struggle with believing, but again, you decide if you believe that scripture is true or not. \'a0\'a0Praying and asking for a revelation or a confirmation may help as well, but again it is another act of faith. Estoy teniendo dificultad con la idea de: \'bfDios es real o no?Tal vez es una pregunta est\'fapida, pero algunas veces no s\'e9 que es real o no.\'a0 Siento que todo el mundo miente. \'bfC\'f3mo se si Dios es una de esas mentiras?Creer en Dios es una cuesti\'f3n de fe.\'a0 Hay muchas opiniones en favor y en contra de la existencia de Dios.\'a0 Pero la verdadera pregunta no es si Dios existe, pero si tu quieres creer que existe.\'a0 Esto es una decisi\'f3n muy individual.\'a0 Leer la Biblia te puede ayudar a conocer sobre algunas personas que han dudado, pero de nuevo, tu decides si las escrituras son reales para ti. Orar y pedir una revelaci\'f3n o confirmaci\'f3n es otro acto de fe, que te puede ayudar.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "It is not a stupid question, it is very basic. To help answer your question, let me begin with the premise that you will never have absolute proof. With that being said, one can look at different phenomena in nature and history and figure what is the statistical probability that they happened randomly. If one comes to the logical conclusion that many are quite improbable, then there must be a guiding force and plan.\'a0 May you be successful in your journey.", | "The way that I see it is that Humans have always been afraid of life and death, historically we have always tried to understand life, we try to organize it, categorize it, explore it, and we've built up this system, our system and societies system around us to help us define what life and (death) is, this system or way is not real but only a perception of our own value judgements, it is, no matter how you try to argue it, a false system of conditioning, humans have a finite mind and a finite mind cannot ever hope to understand an infinite mind of which a god would be. God has been developed over time as a security blanket for our child-like selves, the world is a beautifully brutal place and what is more reassuring than a master that will take care of us and show us the way. On Earth alone there are thousands of gods and even many more systems of thought, economics, societal structures and so on, it is almost as though it were a supermarket with so many choices, we have more choices in gods than we do flavors of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, so then I ask you, ""which one is real?, and ""what is real?""", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Your question is actually thoughtful and reflects a true interest to know more about life.No one knows if god is a lie because ""god"" is a concept in which people either make up their own definition of this concept, or believe one of the concepts of what god is, handed down by religions.All the religions exclude the other god concepts, and expect loyalty to believing in their particular version of ""god"".Probably god is real in the sense that most people want to believe there is guided purpose to what goes on in life.This is as definite as what we can know about ""god"".""God"" is not a lie because it is not a fact. \'a0Beliefs aren't provable.", | "The way that I see it is that Humans have always been afraid of life and death, historically we have always tried to understand life, we try to organize it, categorize it, explore it, and we've built up this system, our system and societies system around us to help us define what life and (death) is, this system or way is not real but only a perception of our own value judgements, it is, no matter how you try to argue it, a false system of conditioning, humans have a finite mind and a finite mind cannot ever hope to understand an infinite mind of which a god would be. God has been developed over time as a security blanket for our child-like selves, the world is a beautifully brutal place and what is more reassuring than a master that will take care of us and show us the way. On Earth alone there are thousands of gods and even many more systems of thought, economics, societal structures and so on, it is almost as though it were a supermarket with so many choices, we have more choices in gods than we do flavors of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, so then I ask you, ""which one is real?, and ""what is real?""", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Believing in God is a\'a0matter of faith.\'a0 There are many opinions out there for and against God\'92s existence.\'a0 But the real question is not if God is real or not, but, do you want to have faith and decide that he exists?\'a0 This is a personal choice.\'a0 Reading scripture may help to learn more about those who struggle with believing, but again, you decide if you believe that scripture is true or not. \'a0\'a0Praying and asking for a revelation or a confirmation may help as well, but again it is another act of faith. Estoy teniendo dificultad con la idea de: \'bfDios es real o no?Tal vez es una pregunta est\'fapida, pero algunas veces no s\'e9 que es real o no.\'a0 Siento que todo el mundo miente. \'bfC\'f3mo se si Dios es una de esas mentiras?Creer en Dios es una cuesti\'f3n de fe.\'a0 Hay muchas opiniones en favor y en contra de la existencia de Dios.\'a0 Pero la verdadera pregunta no es si Dios existe, pero si tu quieres creer que existe.\'a0 Esto es una decisi\'f3n muy individual.\'a0 Leer la Biblia te puede ayudar a conocer sobre algunas personas que han dudado, pero de nuevo, tu decides si las escrituras son reales para ti. Orar y pedir una revelaci\'f3n o confirmaci\'f3n es otro acto de fe, que te puede ayudar.", | "The way that I see it is that Humans have always been afraid of life and death, historically we have always tried to understand life, we try to organize it, categorize it, explore it, and we've built up this system, our system and societies system around us to help us define what life and (death) is, this system or way is not real but only a perception of our own value judgements, it is, no matter how you try to argue it, a false system of conditioning, humans have a finite mind and a finite mind cannot ever hope to understand an infinite mind of which a god would be. God has been developed over time as a security blanket for our child-like selves, the world is a beautifully brutal place and what is more reassuring than a master that will take care of us and show us the way. On Earth alone there are thousands of gods and even many more systems of thought, economics, societal structures and so on, it is almost as though it were a supermarket with so many choices, we have more choices in gods than we do flavors of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, so then I ask you, ""which one is real?, and ""what is real?""", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "It is not a stupid question, it is very basic. To help answer your question, let me begin with the premise that you will never have absolute proof. With that being said, one can look at different phenomena in nature and history and figure what is the statistical probability that they happened randomly. If one comes to the logical conclusion that many are quite improbable, then there must be a guiding force and plan.\'a0 May you be successful in your journey.", | "Your question is actually thoughtful and reflects a true interest to know more about life.No one knows if god is a lie because ""god"" is a concept in which people either make up their own definition of this concept, or believe one of the concepts of what god is, handed down by religions.All the religions exclude the other god concepts, and expect loyalty to believing in their particular version of ""god"".Probably god is real in the sense that most people want to believe there is guided purpose to what goes on in life.This is as definite as what we can know about ""god"".""God"" is not a lie because it is not a fact. \'a0Beliefs aren't provable.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Believing in God is a\'a0matter of faith.\'a0 There are many opinions out there for and against God\'92s existence.\'a0 But the real question is not if God is real or not, but, do you want to have faith and decide that he exists?\'a0 This is a personal choice.\'a0 Reading scripture may help to learn more about those who struggle with believing, but again, you decide if you believe that scripture is true or not. \'a0\'a0Praying and asking for a revelation or a confirmation may help as well, but again it is another act of faith. Estoy teniendo dificultad con la idea de: \'bfDios es real o no?Tal vez es una pregunta est\'fapida, pero algunas veces no s\'e9 que es real o no.\'a0 Siento que todo el mundo miente. \'bfC\'f3mo se si Dios es una de esas mentiras?Creer en Dios es una cuesti\'f3n de fe.\'a0 Hay muchas opiniones en favor y en contra de la existencia de Dios.\'a0 Pero la verdadera pregunta no es si Dios existe, pero si tu quieres creer que existe.\'a0 Esto es una decisi\'f3n muy individual.\'a0 Leer la Biblia te puede ayudar a conocer sobre algunas personas que han dudado, pero de nuevo, tu decides si las escrituras son reales para ti. Orar y pedir una revelaci\'f3n o confirmaci\'f3n es otro acto de fe, que te puede ayudar.", | "It is not a stupid question, it is very basic. To help answer your question, let me begin with the premise that you will never have absolute proof. With that being said, one can look at different phenomena in nature and history and figure what is the statistical probability that they happened randomly. If one comes to the logical conclusion that many are quite improbable, then there must be a guiding force and plan.\'a0 May you be successful in your journey.", |
I'm struggeling with the idea of if God real or not?"Maybe this is a stupid question but I sometimes don't know what's real or not. If feel at times like everyone's lying. How do I know if God is one of those lies?" | "Believing in God is a\'a0matter of faith.\'a0 There are many opinions out there for and against God\'92s existence.\'a0 But the real question is not if God is real or not, but, do you want to have faith and decide that he exists?\'a0 This is a personal choice.\'a0 Reading scripture may help to learn more about those who struggle with believing, but again, you decide if you believe that scripture is true or not. \'a0\'a0Praying and asking for a revelation or a confirmation may help as well, but again it is another act of faith. Estoy teniendo dificultad con la idea de: \'bfDios es real o no?Tal vez es una pregunta est\'fapida, pero algunas veces no s\'e9 que es real o no.\'a0 Siento que todo el mundo miente. \'bfC\'f3mo se si Dios es una de esas mentiras?Creer en Dios es una cuesti\'f3n de fe.\'a0 Hay muchas opiniones en favor y en contra de la existencia de Dios.\'a0 Pero la verdadera pregunta no es si Dios existe, pero si tu quieres creer que existe.\'a0 Esto es una decisi\'f3n muy individual.\'a0 Leer la Biblia te puede ayudar a conocer sobre algunas personas que han dudado, pero de nuevo, tu decides si las escrituras son reales para ti. Orar y pedir una revelaci\'f3n o confirmaci\'f3n es otro acto de fe, que te puede ayudar.", | "Your question is actually thoughtful and reflects a true interest to know more about life.No one knows if god is a lie because ""god"" is a concept in which people either make up their own definition of this concept, or believe one of the concepts of what god is, handed down by religions.All the religions exclude the other god concepts, and expect loyalty to believing in their particular version of ""god"".Probably god is real in the sense that most people want to believe there is guided purpose to what goes on in life.This is as definite as what we can know about ""god"".""God"" is not a lie because it is not a fact. \'a0Beliefs aren't provable.", |
My past is holding me back from my future. How can I get my life back?"There are issues from my past that have me very heavily burdened in my heart. I've been torn for so many years and I need help so I can move on with my life.\
I experienced trauma when I was years old and I did come out about it until I was .\
Now I know this is what's holding me back on my happiness. I've met a very loving and caring man but because I'm holding on to these things from my past I\'m pushing him away.\
How can I get my life back?" | "I'm so sorry you had that horrible experience!\'a0It's common for those who've experienced childhood trauma(s) to not disclose the events until later in life. Sometimes it doesn't feel safe enough to share the information until the person who hurt them is far away, or even dead.\'a0\'a0Trusting and vulnerability are difficult, especially when we've been hurt. So, it's not uncommon for clients to share that their desire to be close to their loved one (emotionally, physically and/or sexually) doesn't match the reality of what they are able to actually experience.But, there is hope!You have met a loving and caring man, and you have a self-awareness that you did not experience before. I am confident that the help of a licensed professional counselor (preferably trained in trauma recovery) can help you navigate this healing journey and help you gain the tools needed for the life you want.", | "Have you explained to your prospective partner about the feeling of vulnerability which you've got?Disclosing one's truth to a trusted person will improve your sense of feeling safe and loved. \'a0It may also take off the pressure you feel to complete your own trajectory of making peace with your past burdens of ilife.If you find your possible new partner is patient and understanding, then you've both removed pressure off yourself and will feel validated and loved for speaking your plain truth and finding it well accepted.If you continue to hide your deeper complexity, or if you explain yourself and ask for the person's patience and understanding, and he avoids giving this to you, then you're better off knowing sooner than later the limits of understanding which this potential partner has.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "I am so sorry this has happened to you! I hope you have some people you find emotionally supportive around you! In terms of your question, I understand what you are talking about. Sometimes when a person experiences a traumatic event, an event called Dissociation occurs. Dissociation is the brain's way of temporary creating and increasing \'a0""emotional distance"" between what is happening and what you are feeling and experiencing. This is a kind of natural coping mechanism, and it can occur just prior to, during, and after an event has occurred. People describe the feeling as being ""numb,"" or detached from others, their surroundings, and even from their own body. All of these descriptions are accurate and they are your brain's attempt to try and keep you safe from emotions that may otherwise overwhelm you. This is good, in the short-term, because you are not having to immediately face and cope with the immensely painful feelings associated with your trauma. But it is also not-so-good in that it also blocks your ability to feel positive and pleasurable emotions. So while your brain is protecting you, it is also preventing feelings you need now more than ever (such as regaining a sense of safety, soothing your hurts, and feeling empowered for your survival).You are not a sociopath, so do not worry about that, but I would strongly recommend that you consider seeing a therapist or other supportive mental health professional to help you work through what is happened. There are ways for you to heal from your experience which will help you get back to a place where you can feel safe enough to ""feel"" again. \'a0It might be an uncomfortable journey, at times, but you are already hurting and your life is being negatively impacted, now. Good therapy sometimes is like pulling out a splinter--it may hurt a bit to dig that sucker out, but once it's out, your body can finally start to heal. \'a0It might seem better (and less painful) to leave it alone, and ignore (avoid) it. But you risk INFECTION by your inaction which will be 100 x worse than just digging it out.\'a0Best of luck to you!Learn more about me and my practice at www.EMDRheals.com", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "You are describing a very legitimate reaction to trauma. \'a0Rape is an aweful experience and I am very sorry that happened to you. \'a0When horrible things happen, people often react in a way that interferes with the ability to live a normal life and function the way they did in the past. \'a0This is very common and the goal is to help you manage the stress caused by dealing with negative events and with help you can regain emotional well-being. \'a0This is especially important if you have had more than one negative thing happen. \'a0Oftentimes, the unconscious reaction is to become numb and avoid all feelings, especially if more than one negative event occurred. \'a0A big part of what causes people trouble are feelings of guilt. \'a0We often blame ourselves when bad things happen. It is actually difficult to comprehend the concept that we don't always have control of what happens in life. \'a0In addition, when you mentioned feeling like a sociopath, it sounded like you feel like your reaction is wrong. \'a0The first thing you can do is realize that your feelings and reactions are o.k., you aren't doing anything wrong, and nothing is wrong with you. \'a0The next step is to start dealing with the impact of these traumatic experiences. Identifying your feelings, and knowing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind those emotions can help you regain your sense of happiness. \'a0Research shows that understanding and expressing those thoughts and feelings can help. \'a0If doesn't sound like you need to do anything to change yourself, but talking to a counselor can be helpful in managing your reaction to a incredibly traumatic experience. \'a0I hope this helps you understand your feelings and can get to a place where you enjoy life.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "First and foremost, be gentle and patient with yourself. It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a severe trauma including no emotions at all. Try not to push yourself to feel, just notice the lack of emotion you are experiencing right now. Maybe write about your emotions and the lack of them or talk about it with a safe person. Unfortunately recovering from trauma can take time and it's best done at your own pace. If you aren't feeling there may be a reason you aren't feeling. For severe trauma I always recommend working with a trained trauma professional who has the training to guide you on your path to healing fully.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "Sociopaths don't know they are sociopaths.Clearly, you realize you have pretty deep emotions and have lived through several severely distressing situations.Your sense of self may be protecting for a while until you recover the practical aspects of daily life and feel some sense of predictability and stability in your life.Knowing and feeling disturbing emotions which rupture basic trust that other people are safe, is itself a raw process.Yes, it is possible to become numb emotionally. \'a0 The good purpose is to protect you from additional hurt.When your inner world feels itself ready, more of your emotions from the recent distressing events will be accessible.If many months pass and you see no progress, then definitely consider a few sessions with a therapist who would be able to guide you to become more open to your feelings.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "You're not a sociopath - you're traumatized. Shutting off feelings is our brain's automatic way of protecting us when something bad happens and we just can't deal with any more pain. It's temporary - which is both good and bad news, because after the numb goes away and your brain decides you're ready to handle it, you'll feel the emotional pain. \'a0My advice is to get a therapist ASAP so you have a safe place and a safe person when that happens.This is a horrible thing that happened to you, but you are not a horrible person. With good therapy you will learn to assimilate this into the rest of your life. You'll never forget, but you won't have the same pain about it \'a0.Good luck! You can do this!", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I'm so sorry you've been hurt. \'a0It's very normal to stop feeling emotions as a way to protect yourself after experiencing a traumatic event. \'a0You can think of it as emotional shock-- you experienced something that was so awful that you have numbed yourself (mind and body) as a way to stop the emotional and physical pain of the event. \'a0It's actually pretty amazing that our selves know how to do this automatically. \'a0And, I hear you saying that you'd like to get some feeling back now.So here are some ideas for how you can change this:I think it would be a great idea to find an experienced therapist you like and trust and/or a good support group so that you can have some allies as you go through this process. \'a0You also could try journaling. \'a0If you're not sure what to write then check out this list of prompts to get you started (it's for teachers, but I really like it). \'a0There's also art journaling. \'a0Pinterest has lots of suggestions.Meditation could be useful. \'a0There are lots of apps available that offer guided meditations.Yoga, tai chi, or chi gong might also help.I have lots of other ideas, but without knowing more about you I'm reluctant to make suggestions that could accidentally make you feel worse. \'a0IThis protective mechanism of numbing yourself kicked in for a good reason and as you get your feelings back, you may find some pretty challenging reactions coming up. \'a0I guess my final piece of advice to is encourage you to trust yourself and gently go at your own pace in your healing. \'a0I hope this was helpful.", | "I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you! What you are describing is being in a state of shock. You haven't suddenly become a sociopath - this is a normal reaction to an event that is completely overwhelming. There are most likely too many feelings to feel right now, so your body in its wisdom is shutting them down. You absolutely can recover, and it would be really important to get some trauma counseling with a counselor who feels safe for you to talk with. This is not the kind of situation to try and handle totally on your own.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "I am so sorry this has happened to you! I hope you have some people you find emotionally supportive around you! In terms of your question, I understand what you are talking about. Sometimes when a person experiences a traumatic event, an event called Dissociation occurs. Dissociation is the brain's way of temporary creating and increasing \'a0""emotional distance"" between what is happening and what you are feeling and experiencing. This is a kind of natural coping mechanism, and it can occur just prior to, during, and after an event has occurred. People describe the feeling as being ""numb,"" or detached from others, their surroundings, and even from their own body. All of these descriptions are accurate and they are your brain's attempt to try and keep you safe from emotions that may otherwise overwhelm you. This is good, in the short-term, because you are not having to immediately face and cope with the immensely painful feelings associated with your trauma. But it is also not-so-good in that it also blocks your ability to feel positive and pleasurable emotions. So while your brain is protecting you, it is also preventing feelings you need now more than ever (such as regaining a sense of safety, soothing your hurts, and feeling empowered for your survival).You are not a sociopath, so do not worry about that, but I would strongly recommend that you consider seeing a therapist or other supportive mental health professional to help you work through what is happened. There are ways for you to heal from your experience which will help you get back to a place where you can feel safe enough to ""feel"" again. \'a0It might be an uncomfortable journey, at times, but you are already hurting and your life is being negatively impacted, now. Good therapy sometimes is like pulling out a splinter--it may hurt a bit to dig that sucker out, but once it's out, your body can finally start to heal. \'a0It might seem better (and less painful) to leave it alone, and ignore (avoid) it. But you risk INFECTION by your inaction which will be 100 x worse than just digging it out.\'a0Best of luck to you!Learn more about me and my practice at www.EMDRheals.com", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "You are describing a very legitimate reaction to trauma. \'a0Rape is an aweful experience and I am very sorry that happened to you. \'a0When horrible things happen, people often react in a way that interferes with the ability to live a normal life and function the way they did in the past. \'a0This is very common and the goal is to help you manage the stress caused by dealing with negative events and with help you can regain emotional well-being. \'a0This is especially important if you have had more than one negative thing happen. \'a0Oftentimes, the unconscious reaction is to become numb and avoid all feelings, especially if more than one negative event occurred. \'a0A big part of what causes people trouble are feelings of guilt. \'a0We often blame ourselves when bad things happen. It is actually difficult to comprehend the concept that we don't always have control of what happens in life. \'a0In addition, when you mentioned feeling like a sociopath, it sounded like you feel like your reaction is wrong. \'a0The first thing you can do is realize that your feelings and reactions are o.k., you aren't doing anything wrong, and nothing is wrong with you. \'a0The next step is to start dealing with the impact of these traumatic experiences. Identifying your feelings, and knowing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind those emotions can help you regain your sense of happiness. \'a0Research shows that understanding and expressing those thoughts and feelings can help. \'a0If doesn't sound like you need to do anything to change yourself, but talking to a counselor can be helpful in managing your reaction to a incredibly traumatic experience. \'a0I hope this helps you understand your feelings and can get to a place where you enjoy life.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "First and foremost, be gentle and patient with yourself. It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a severe trauma including no emotions at all. Try not to push yourself to feel, just notice the lack of emotion you are experiencing right now. Maybe write about your emotions and the lack of them or talk about it with a safe person. Unfortunately recovering from trauma can take time and it's best done at your own pace. If you aren't feeling there may be a reason you aren't feeling. For severe trauma I always recommend working with a trained trauma professional who has the training to guide you on your path to healing fully.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "Sociopaths don't know they are sociopaths.Clearly, you realize you have pretty deep emotions and have lived through several severely distressing situations.Your sense of self may be protecting for a while until you recover the practical aspects of daily life and feel some sense of predictability and stability in your life.Knowing and feeling disturbing emotions which rupture basic trust that other people are safe, is itself a raw process.Yes, it is possible to become numb emotionally. \'a0 The good purpose is to protect you from additional hurt.When your inner world feels itself ready, more of your emotions from the recent distressing events will be accessible.If many months pass and you see no progress, then definitely consider a few sessions with a therapist who would be able to guide you to become more open to your feelings.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "You're not a sociopath - you're traumatized. Shutting off feelings is our brain's automatic way of protecting us when something bad happens and we just can't deal with any more pain. It's temporary - which is both good and bad news, because after the numb goes away and your brain decides you're ready to handle it, you'll feel the emotional pain. \'a0My advice is to get a therapist ASAP so you have a safe place and a safe person when that happens.This is a horrible thing that happened to you, but you are not a horrible person. With good therapy you will learn to assimilate this into the rest of your life. You'll never forget, but you won't have the same pain about it \'a0.Good luck! You can do this!", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "Terrible things do happen in life, and I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. Please rest assured that you are not a sociopath, and that your reactions are normal responses to traumatic events. I'm guessing you are experiencing a sense of numbness, which is a common response to trauma. The best thing you can do is to get some trauma counseling with a professional counselor. \'a0As you process your experience, you will be able to feel emotions again. However, the first feelings to come back may be related to trauma, such as fear, panic, and a sense of hyper vigilance. A professional counselor will be able to help you tolerate these feelings, manage them, and heal from your trauma.", | "I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you! What you are describing is being in a state of shock. You haven't suddenly become a sociopath - this is a normal reaction to an event that is completely overwhelming. There are most likely too many feelings to feel right now, so your body in its wisdom is shutting them down. You absolutely can recover, and it would be really important to get some trauma counseling with a counselor who feels safe for you to talk with. This is not the kind of situation to try and handle totally on your own.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", | |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", | "I am so sorry this has happened to you! I hope you have some people you find emotionally supportive around you! In terms of your question, I understand what you are talking about. Sometimes when a person experiences a traumatic event, an event called Dissociation occurs. Dissociation is the brain's way of temporary creating and increasing \'a0""emotional distance"" between what is happening and what you are feeling and experiencing. This is a kind of natural coping mechanism, and it can occur just prior to, during, and after an event has occurred. People describe the feeling as being ""numb,"" or detached from others, their surroundings, and even from their own body. All of these descriptions are accurate and they are your brain's attempt to try and keep you safe from emotions that may otherwise overwhelm you. This is good, in the short-term, because you are not having to immediately face and cope with the immensely painful feelings associated with your trauma. But it is also not-so-good in that it also blocks your ability to feel positive and pleasurable emotions. So while your brain is protecting you, it is also preventing feelings you need now more than ever (such as regaining a sense of safety, soothing your hurts, and feeling empowered for your survival).You are not a sociopath, so do not worry about that, but I would strongly recommend that you consider seeing a therapist or other supportive mental health professional to help you work through what is happened. There are ways for you to heal from your experience which will help you get back to a place where you can feel safe enough to ""feel"" again. \'a0It might be an uncomfortable journey, at times, but you are already hurting and your life is being negatively impacted, now. Good therapy sometimes is like pulling out a splinter--it may hurt a bit to dig that sucker out, but once it's out, your body can finally start to heal. \'a0It might seem better (and less painful) to leave it alone, and ignore (avoid) it. But you risk INFECTION by your inaction which will be 100 x worse than just digging it out.\'a0Best of luck to you!Learn more about me and my practice at www.EMDRheals.com", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", | "You are describing a very legitimate reaction to trauma. \'a0Rape is an aweful experience and I am very sorry that happened to you. \'a0When horrible things happen, people often react in a way that interferes with the ability to live a normal life and function the way they did in the past. \'a0This is very common and the goal is to help you manage the stress caused by dealing with negative events and with help you can regain emotional well-being. \'a0This is especially important if you have had more than one negative thing happen. \'a0Oftentimes, the unconscious reaction is to become numb and avoid all feelings, especially if more than one negative event occurred. \'a0A big part of what causes people trouble are feelings of guilt. \'a0We often blame ourselves when bad things happen. It is actually difficult to comprehend the concept that we don't always have control of what happens in life. \'a0In addition, when you mentioned feeling like a sociopath, it sounded like you feel like your reaction is wrong. \'a0The first thing you can do is realize that your feelings and reactions are o.k., you aren't doing anything wrong, and nothing is wrong with you. \'a0The next step is to start dealing with the impact of these traumatic experiences. Identifying your feelings, and knowing the thoughts and beliefs that are behind those emotions can help you regain your sense of happiness. \'a0Research shows that understanding and expressing those thoughts and feelings can help. \'a0If doesn't sound like you need to do anything to change yourself, but talking to a counselor can be helpful in managing your reaction to a incredibly traumatic experience. \'a0I hope this helps you understand your feelings and can get to a place where you enjoy life.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", | "First and foremost, be gentle and patient with yourself. It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a severe trauma including no emotions at all. Try not to push yourself to feel, just notice the lack of emotion you are experiencing right now. Maybe write about your emotions and the lack of them or talk about it with a safe person. Unfortunately recovering from trauma can take time and it's best done at your own pace. If you aren't feeling there may be a reason you aren't feeling. For severe trauma I always recommend working with a trained trauma professional who has the training to guide you on your path to healing fully.", |
Is it possible for a person to stop feeling emotions?"I was raped a couple months ago Since then along with other unfortunately events that have occurred I have been having trouble feeling emotions. It's almost as if I'm a sociopath lacking any feeling. What can I do to change this?" | "I don't need to tell you that this is an incredible amount of serious stuff to happen in a short period. When we go through a trauma, it is natural for us to shut down as a way to protect ourselves. A kind of freeze response. Think of a possum or a gazelle. These animals go so far as to physically freeze in protection. Our emotions do the same thing sometimes. We feel shut down and that can be strange---a kind of disconnection. This does not mean that you are sociopath or that your feelings will never come back.\'a0 The amazing thing though is that as time moves forward we naturally heal and emotions come back. If you feel stuck, seeking counseling is a way to help accelerate this healing and help you work through and begin healing. Wishing you the absolute best!", | "Sociopaths don't know they are sociopaths.Clearly, you realize you have pretty deep emotions and have lived through several severely distressing situations.Your sense of self may be protecting for a while until you recover the practical aspects of daily life and feel some sense of predictability and stability in your life.Knowing and feeling disturbing emotions which rupture basic trust that other people are safe, is itself a raw process.Yes, it is possible to become numb emotionally. \'a0 The good purpose is to protect you from additional hurt.When your inner world feels itself ready, more of your emotions from the recent distressing events will be accessible.If many months pass and you see no progress, then definitely consider a few sessions with a therapist who would be able to guide you to become more open to your feelings.", |
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