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I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "I'm sorry for how you're feeling in your marriage lately. \'a0Are you and your husband able to talk directly about your feelings? \'a0The way two people connect is usually by talking with each other to understand what each one cares about and thinks.Your current emotional suffering is the natural result of being married to someone who shows no interest in doing this.If your husband wants to start talking with you, then there is a chance the two of you can reconnect. \'a0If he doesn't want to participate in the relationship with you, then start to think if its possible and for how long, to get emotional support from friends and family who do care for you.Also a question for the future is to understand what the value of your marriage is to you besides having a connection to your husband.", | "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\'a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\'a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "I'm sorry for how you're feeling in your marriage lately. \'a0Are you and your husband able to talk directly about your feelings? \'a0The way two people connect is usually by talking with each other to understand what each one cares about and thinks.Your current emotional suffering is the natural result of being married to someone who shows no interest in doing this.If your husband wants to start talking with you, then there is a chance the two of you can reconnect. \'a0If he doesn't want to participate in the relationship with you, then start to think if its possible and for how long, to get emotional support from friends and family who do care for you.Also a question for the future is to understand what the value of your marriage is to you besides having a connection to your husband.", | "What you are describing is something I often refer to as ""living with your roommate"" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a ""one size fits all"" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \'a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \'a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "I'm sorry for how you're feeling in your marriage lately. \'a0Are you and your husband able to talk directly about your feelings? \'a0The way two people connect is usually by talking with each other to understand what each one cares about and thinks.Your current emotional suffering is the natural result of being married to someone who shows no interest in doing this.If your husband wants to start talking with you, then there is a chance the two of you can reconnect. \'a0If he doesn't want to participate in the relationship with you, then start to think if its possible and for how long, to get emotional support from friends and family who do care for you.Also a question for the future is to understand what the value of your marriage is to you besides having a connection to your husband.", | "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\'a0 |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has been two years of distance, I would suggest looking into couples therapy with a trained couples therapist. They are trained in helping couples begin to examine what's been happening that has caused a drift in your marriage.\'a0I'm also curious if there was a significant event that occurred around the time you started feeling distant. If there was something that occurred during this time that is hard for you both to talk about, couples therapy can help with this also. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you both.", | "Communication opens up what is called ""cognitive space"" for your partner, and allows them to do the same for you. The more you know about each other, especially your everyday lives, creates a bond between the two of you. Much like the saying goes in the military, the same is true for a couple; ""Complacency Kills"". It is important for both of you to invest in each other on a regular basis. I regularly recommend that both of you take the 5 Love Languages Assessment and start using each other's top love languages to help show each other the positive affection that you feel (or at least want to feel) for one another. Start asking about your husband's day, trying to learn about all the interactions that he has at work, and feel free to ask questions so that he knows you really want to know about him, and know him intimately again.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\'a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\'a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", | "Communication opens up what is called ""cognitive space"" for your partner, and allows them to do the same for you. The more you know about each other, especially your everyday lives, creates a bond between the two of you. Much like the saying goes in the military, the same is true for a couple; ""Complacency Kills"". It is important for both of you to invest in each other on a regular basis. I regularly recommend that both of you take the 5 Love Languages Assessment and start using each other's top love languages to help show each other the positive affection that you feel (or at least want to feel) for one another. Start asking about your husband's day, trying to learn about all the interactions that he has at work, and feel free to ask questions so that he knows you really want to know about him, and know him intimately again.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "What you are describing is something I often refer to as ""living with your roommate"" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a ""one size fits all"" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \'a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \'a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", | "Communication opens up what is called ""cognitive space"" for your partner, and allows them to do the same for you. The more you know about each other, especially your everyday lives, creates a bond between the two of you. Much like the saying goes in the military, the same is true for a couple; ""Complacency Kills"". It is important for both of you to invest in each other on a regular basis. I regularly recommend that both of you take the 5 Love Languages Assessment and start using each other's top love languages to help show each other the positive affection that you feel (or at least want to feel) for one another. Start asking about your husband's day, trying to learn about all the interactions that he has at work, and feel free to ask questions so that he knows you really want to know about him, and know him intimately again.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Communication opens up what is called ""cognitive space"" for your partner, and allows them to do the same for you. The more you know about each other, especially your everyday lives, creates a bond between the two of you. Much like the saying goes in the military, the same is true for a couple; ""Complacency Kills"". It is important for both of you to invest in each other on a regular basis. I regularly recommend that both of you take the 5 Love Languages Assessment and start using each other's top love languages to help show each other the positive affection that you feel (or at least want to feel) for one another. Start asking about your husband's day, trying to learn about all the interactions that he has at work, and feel free to ask questions so that he knows you really want to know about him, and know him intimately again.", | "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\'a0 |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\'a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\'a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", | "Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has been two years of distance, I would suggest looking into couples therapy with a trained couples therapist. They are trained in helping couples begin to examine what's been happening that has caused a drift in your marriage.\'a0I'm also curious if there was a significant event that occurred around the time you started feeling distant. If there was something that occurred during this time that is hard for you both to talk about, couples therapy can help with this also. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you both.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has been two years of distance, I would suggest looking into couples therapy with a trained couples therapist. They are trained in helping couples begin to examine what's been happening that has caused a drift in your marriage.\'a0I'm also curious if there was a significant event that occurred around the time you started feeling distant. If there was something that occurred during this time that is hard for you both to talk about, couples therapy can help with this also. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you both.", | "What you are describing is something I often refer to as ""living with your roommate"" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a ""one size fits all"" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \'a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \'a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Feeling alone in your marriage is one of the most painful feelings. Wanting connection with your spouse yet feeling the all too familiar distance that's keeping you apart can be so hurtful. But, change is possible. You might be able to move closer toward each other on your own but since there has been two years of distance, I would suggest looking into couples therapy with a trained couples therapist. They are trained in helping couples begin to examine what's been happening that has caused a drift in your marriage.\'a0I'm also curious if there was a significant event that occurred around the time you started feeling distant. If there was something that occurred during this time that is hard for you both to talk about, couples therapy can help with this also. It can provide a safe and supportive space for you both.", | "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\'a0 |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\'a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\'a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", | "What you are describing is something I often refer to as ""living with your roommate"" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a ""one size fits all"" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \'a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \'a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "Absolutely. Your question shows that you are going through a lot of pain and I'm sorry for that. Many couples go through this disconnect and hope to come to reconnect before things get to a breaking point. What I think can help is the following:\'a01.) Understand what his primary concern is2.) Understand what your primary concern is3.) What would you like to see different?4.) What would he like to see different?\'a05.) Be honest about your concern with him having friends (Be ready for honesty)6.) Help him understand you feel alone without him feeling guilty.7.) Let him know how committed you are to making this relationship despite the two of you drifting apart.8.) Sometimes if you just acknowledge the elephant in the room.9.) Couples/Marriage Therapy", | "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\'a0 |
I feel completely alone in my marriage"I have been married for years. Within the past years we have drifted far apart. We coexist together but there is very little personal interest in each other. I often feel that my husband has ""friends"" at work that he is more emotional invested in than me. I feel very alone and just uncared for. Is there anything I can do to feel reconnected?" | "What you are describing is something I often refer to as ""living with your roommate"" phenomenon. This is the idea that you feel like you are living with a roommate and no your partner or spouse . It is not uncommon for members of a couple to report to feel both physical and/or emotional distance. When we don't feel connected within relationships, this can be isolating and lonely. The emotional distance often makes us wonder: am I important to the other? These types of feelings need to be better understood in the context of your own background and upbringing I.e., who you are and also better understood in the context of your couple. Feeling reconnected can occur-- but there is not a ""one size fits all"" solutoon. As a first step, do you or your partner have any ideas of how to feel reconnected? Have you considering talking to your partner about the emotional void? Or how about discussing \'a0solutions , together, that might help-- from individual therapy to couple therapy to a weekly date night to inquiring about one another's personal interest to starting off the conversation of what both of you want and can do to re-establish feelings of connectiveness. If this is too frightening I.e., to address the lack of connection between you and your spouse. \'a0a fist meeting with a couple therapist can likely help unpack what the possible solutions for your couple.", | "I can think of several things that may help you to reconnect. I don't know how much time you actually spend together, but one thing you could try is to spend 15 minutes a week together talking about common interests or other things that make you feel connected.Have you considered a date night or anything (doesn't have to cost a lot of money, but could make each of you feel special)?Something else you could try is to consider talking to each other in a way where you summarize what you are hearing and reflect back to make sure that you got it right rather than just assuming so. Communicating this way can feel awkward at times, but it could reconnect how you are listening and deeply connecting with your partner. Also, you may discover that you are on two different pages about things on which you thought you understood what each other felt, wanted, or desired.Consider what makes your partner feel loved, valued, appreciated, or special. Can you name a few things and get them right according to your partner when you check in? Can he do the same for you?You could also try doing two things every day that would be appreciated by your partner without either of you having to ask for it. There is some more information here, although what you do for one another does not necessarily need to be on this list:\'a0 |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. Are you having issues? Fighting? Not feeling satisfied with each other? How has your sex life been with each other? \'a0If there are any problems, insecurities, issues, introducing something like this may only make your relationship worse.\'a0Open relationships and threesomes rarely work out well. Sure, there are some who successfully live this lifestyle, but it only works when both people are completely secure in their relationship with each other, harbor no jealousies or insecurities, and aren't looking to someone else to satisfy needs that aren't getting met by their spouse.\'a0Let me say that again: This is not likely to work out well for you if either of you are insecure, jealous, or looking to have needs met by this other person that you aren't getting from your spouse.\'a0That empty feeling you're having - listen to it. Dig deep to find out where it is coming from. What thoughts are going through your head when you feel that way? You'll get the answer.The other thing that helps make something like this work is for both of you to listen and respect each other. If you don't like it that he paid more attention to the other girl, he needs to know that, and he needs to respect that. \'a0If you're going to do it again, he needs to know what you're comfortable with and what you want. Set the limits before you're in the moment, before it's too late to take an action back. Turn it around and ask him what he would be comfortable with if it were a man instead of a woman.It is perfectly natural to be curious and want to experiment. A lot of people get that out of the way before settling down in a monogamous relationship. People who marry young and/or inexperienced may still feel that curiosity about things like that and want to experience them, but don't want to hurt their spouse. The REASON you are both doing this matters a lot. If there are problems in your relationship, this is likely to only make things worse.", | "Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband.", |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "Hello there.\'a0 As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation.\'a0 You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling ""empty"".\'a0 One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement?\'a0 Are you trying to have your fulfillment with another woman while in the presence of your husband but not with him 'on her' as much or at all?\'a0 Are you trying to ask him to be more passive participant?\'a0 Perhaps be careful of not drinking too heavily... In the whole event, how do you want to feel intimate or connected ?\'a0 Were you craving all along, him to really be all over you along with her?\'a0 These are questions that arise; maybe not solutions.\'a0 Its always good to be very clear with oneself of what is the ultimate target here... And always measure the potential danger..\'a0 Peace - keith", | "Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband.", |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "Because the acrobatics and excitement of sex has nothing to do with the meaning of deeper emotional attachment to another person with whom we are in a relationship.Try to distinguish between your feelings of excitement from the novel sexual arrangement and what you feel is necessary in order to feel emotionally close and attached to your husband.", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Many people who engage in open, polyamorous, and/or other-type relationships, will tell you that difficult feelings, such as jealousy and anger, do show up sometimes. This doesn't prove that there is something wrong with the relationship, it just shows that you retain normal human emotions while in one. And many people who are in polyamorous relationships have written about the work it sometimes takes to make such relationships work. Of course, all relationships take work, so polyamorous and other types of relationships are simply not an exception. There could be several reasons why you are feeling the way you do. One reason could be that you are simply not as comfortable with the idea as you think you are. Some time and good communication with your husband may help you with this. Another reason this may be bothering you is because, on some level, you are aware of the messages society gives us about marriages. They are supposed to be monogamous, heterosexual, etc. etc. Just because you may not agree with these beliefs doesn't mean that you haven't been influenced by them. We all have. Another reason this may be upsetting you is because it may feel a little frightening. Perhaps there are a lot of ""What ifs"" going on in your mind. When you get the ""empty"" feeling, it may be helpful to try to really nail down the emotions that are attached to that feeling. One thing that I do think is very important is that you communicate these feelings to your husband. It may even be a good idea to talk about expectations or ""ground rules"", if you will. It is important that you are both on the same page about what this is, and why you are doing it. If you continue to struggle, I suggest finding a counselor who has experience in sex and sexuality.\'a0 I wish you well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "Hello there.\'a0 As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation.\'a0 You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling ""empty"".\'a0 One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement?\'a0 Are you trying to have your fulfillment with another woman while in the presence of your husband but not with him 'on her' as much or at all?\'a0 Are you trying to ask him to be more passive participant?\'a0 Perhaps be careful of not drinking too heavily... In the whole event, how do you want to feel intimate or connected ?\'a0 Were you craving all along, him to really be all over you along with her?\'a0 These are questions that arise; maybe not solutions.\'a0 Its always good to be very clear with oneself of what is the ultimate target here... And always measure the potential danger..\'a0 Peace - keith", | "You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. Are you having issues? Fighting? Not feeling satisfied with each other? How has your sex life been with each other? \'a0If there are any problems, insecurities, issues, introducing something like this may only make your relationship worse.\'a0Open relationships and threesomes rarely work out well. Sure, there are some who successfully live this lifestyle, but it only works when both people are completely secure in their relationship with each other, harbor no jealousies or insecurities, and aren't looking to someone else to satisfy needs that aren't getting met by their spouse.\'a0Let me say that again: This is not likely to work out well for you if either of you are insecure, jealous, or looking to have needs met by this other person that you aren't getting from your spouse.\'a0That empty feeling you're having - listen to it. Dig deep to find out where it is coming from. What thoughts are going through your head when you feel that way? You'll get the answer.The other thing that helps make something like this work is for both of you to listen and respect each other. If you don't like it that he paid more attention to the other girl, he needs to know that, and he needs to respect that. \'a0If you're going to do it again, he needs to know what you're comfortable with and what you want. Set the limits before you're in the moment, before it's too late to take an action back. Turn it around and ask him what he would be comfortable with if it were a man instead of a woman.It is perfectly natural to be curious and want to experiment. A lot of people get that out of the way before settling down in a monogamous relationship. People who marry young and/or inexperienced may still feel that curiosity about things like that and want to experience them, but don't want to hurt their spouse. The REASON you are both doing this matters a lot. If there are problems in your relationship, this is likely to only make things worse.", |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "You need to have an honest conversation with each other about WHY you both want a threesome. Evaluate the status of your relationship with each other. Are you having issues? Fighting? Not feeling satisfied with each other? How has your sex life been with each other? \'a0If there are any problems, insecurities, issues, introducing something like this may only make your relationship worse.\'a0Open relationships and threesomes rarely work out well. Sure, there are some who successfully live this lifestyle, but it only works when both people are completely secure in their relationship with each other, harbor no jealousies or insecurities, and aren't looking to someone else to satisfy needs that aren't getting met by their spouse.\'a0Let me say that again: This is not likely to work out well for you if either of you are insecure, jealous, or looking to have needs met by this other person that you aren't getting from your spouse.\'a0That empty feeling you're having - listen to it. Dig deep to find out where it is coming from. What thoughts are going through your head when you feel that way? You'll get the answer.The other thing that helps make something like this work is for both of you to listen and respect each other. If you don't like it that he paid more attention to the other girl, he needs to know that, and he needs to respect that. \'a0If you're going to do it again, he needs to know what you're comfortable with and what you want. Set the limits before you're in the moment, before it's too late to take an action back. Turn it around and ask him what he would be comfortable with if it were a man instead of a woman.It is perfectly natural to be curious and want to experiment. A lot of people get that out of the way before settling down in a monogamous relationship. People who marry young and/or inexperienced may still feel that curiosity about things like that and want to experience them, but don't want to hurt their spouse. The REASON you are both doing this matters a lot. If there are problems in your relationship, this is likely to only make things worse.", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Many people who engage in open, polyamorous, and/or other-type relationships, will tell you that difficult feelings, such as jealousy and anger, do show up sometimes. This doesn't prove that there is something wrong with the relationship, it just shows that you retain normal human emotions while in one. And many people who are in polyamorous relationships have written about the work it sometimes takes to make such relationships work. Of course, all relationships take work, so polyamorous and other types of relationships are simply not an exception. There could be several reasons why you are feeling the way you do. One reason could be that you are simply not as comfortable with the idea as you think you are. Some time and good communication with your husband may help you with this. Another reason this may be bothering you is because, on some level, you are aware of the messages society gives us about marriages. They are supposed to be monogamous, heterosexual, etc. etc. Just because you may not agree with these beliefs doesn't mean that you haven't been influenced by them. We all have. Another reason this may be upsetting you is because it may feel a little frightening. Perhaps there are a lot of ""What ifs"" going on in your mind. When you get the ""empty"" feeling, it may be helpful to try to really nail down the emotions that are attached to that feeling. One thing that I do think is very important is that you communicate these feelings to your husband. It may even be a good idea to talk about expectations or ""ground rules"", if you will. It is important that you are both on the same page about what this is, and why you are doing it. If you continue to struggle, I suggest finding a counselor who has experience in sex and sexuality.\'a0 I wish you well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
"I want to have a threesome with my husband and another girl but I feel really nervous""My husband and I had our first threesome recently. Everyone was drinking and he was on her more then me. He and I talked about it afterwards and it made me feel better and now I'm craving more of it. But before it gets close to happening I get this empty feeling. Why am I feeling this way?" | "Hello there.\'a0 As you have courageously explained your soulful dilemma. I can appreciate the complexity of this situation.\'a0 You have identified some key factors that may be contributing to your sense of feeling ""empty"".\'a0 One, is the ultimate goal here able to be acquired from this arrangement?\'a0 Are you trying to have your fulfillment with another woman while in the presence of your husband but not with him 'on her' as much or at all?\'a0 Are you trying to ask him to be more passive participant?\'a0 Perhaps be careful of not drinking too heavily... In the whole event, how do you want to feel intimate or connected ?\'a0 Were you craving all along, him to really be all over you along with her?\'a0 These are questions that arise; maybe not solutions.\'a0 Its always good to be very clear with oneself of what is the ultimate target here... And always measure the potential danger..\'a0 Peace - keith", | "Hello, and thank you for your question. Nervousness, when doing something new, especially something sexual that can feel so personal, is very common. Indeed, despite the fact that nervousness can be uncomfortable, it is also part of the excitement of trying something new. Many people who engage in open, polyamorous, and/or other-type relationships, will tell you that difficult feelings, such as jealousy and anger, do show up sometimes. This doesn't prove that there is something wrong with the relationship, it just shows that you retain normal human emotions while in one. And many people who are in polyamorous relationships have written about the work it sometimes takes to make such relationships work. Of course, all relationships take work, so polyamorous and other types of relationships are simply not an exception. There could be several reasons why you are feeling the way you do. One reason could be that you are simply not as comfortable with the idea as you think you are. Some time and good communication with your husband may help you with this. Another reason this may be bothering you is because, on some level, you are aware of the messages society gives us about marriages. They are supposed to be monogamous, heterosexual, etc. etc. Just because you may not agree with these beliefs doesn't mean that you haven't been influenced by them. We all have. Another reason this may be upsetting you is because it may feel a little frightening. Perhaps there are a lot of ""What ifs"" going on in your mind. When you get the ""empty"" feeling, it may be helpful to try to really nail down the emotions that are attached to that feeling. One thing that I do think is very important is that you communicate these feelings to your husband. It may even be a good idea to talk about expectations or ""ground rules"", if you will. It is important that you are both on the same page about what this is, and why you are doing it. If you continue to struggle, I suggest finding a counselor who has experience in sex and sexuality.\'a0 I wish you well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC", |
Should I get a divorce?"I have cheated on my husband of five years roughly ten times. I pretend we aren't married at my work. Recently he has caught on but I lie to cover it. He use to talk to girls online but I have caught myself constantly having a affair." | "It may be helpful to have this emotionally impactful conversation in the context of couples therapy.Whether or not you should get a divorce is not the first question that comes to mind for me, but more along the lines of do you want to be together and what kind of relationship do you want to create?For some people, polyamorous relationships (those involving more than two people) are acceptable. This does not work for everyone, but if each of you agree that that is okay, it may work for you and your husband. If it is something that you are both open to, it is often beneficial to have more than one discussion about the details of what is acceptable for each of you.If you want to be devoted only to each other, what does that lifestyle look like for each of you? What can you start or stop doing right now to move your relationship in that direction?Neither of you can make the other partner change. That does not mean you cannot talk about what each of your goals are together and support each other in working toward those goals you have for yourselves.Sometime having discussions like these is easier when there is a structure and/or someone in the room (like a therapist) who can help keep the conversation on topic and work on having each of you communicate in a way that expresses your wants, wishes, and desires in a way that is not blaming of your partner.If either of you wants a divorce, that could be part of the discussion. Divorce is not the only choice here, depending upon what each of you wants and is willing to accept, learn, and grow from as it relates to yourself and your partner.", | "Clearly you seem interested in\'a0being other people, and you are also concerned about your husband being unfaithful online.\'a0 But it seems like there is something that keeps you with your husband.\'a0\'a0 And I have so many questions for you: What are you looking for outside of your marriage?\'a0 Are you willing to give that up if your husband is not able to provide it? \'a0Do you want to stay together and make it work? Do you want to open the lines of communication with your husband, so you could analyze the situation together?I suggest attending couple\'92s therapy or even couple\'92s mediation to assess and discuss where you want to go whit your relationship.\'a0 It will also help to establish healthy lines of communication, where you could express the pros and cons of the relationship, analyze if you are willing to work to stay together, or have some closure and process a separation. I provide a combination of counseling and mediation in couple's therapy, you can call 787466-5478 to make an appointment.\'bfDeber\'e9 divorciarme?Le he sido infiel a mi esposo al menos diez veces en los \'faltimos cinco a\'f1os.\'a0\'a0 En el trabajo pretendo que no soy casada.\'a0 Recientemente se fijo, pero ment\'ed para cubrirlo. El hablaba con mujeres por el internet, pero yo he tenido varias aventuras.Claramente tu estas interesada en ver a otras personas, y estas preocupada de que tu esposo haya sido infiel.\'a0 Pero al parecer hay algo que aun sostiene la relaci\'f3n.\'a0 Tengo varias preguntas para ti: \'bfQue estas buscando fuera de tu matrimonio? \'a0\'bfEst\'e1s dispuesta a dejar lo que encuentras fuera del matrimonio, si tu esposo no puede d\'e1rtelo?\'a0 \'bfQuieres quedarte con \'e9l y hacerlo funcionar? \'bfTe gustar\'eda abrir las l\'edneas de comunicaci\'f3n con tu esposo, para que puedan analizar su relaci\'f3n?Les sugiero hacer terapia de pareja o inclusive mediaci\'f3n, para asesar y discutir a donde quieres llegar con tu relaci\'f3n.\'a0 Tambi\'e9n les ayudar\'eda a re-establecer l\'edneas \'a0de comunicaci\'f3n de manera que puedan expresar los pros y contras de estar juntos, ver si pueden trabajar para mejorar su matrimonio o partir amigablemente.\'a0 En mi consultorio proveo una combinaci\'f3n de consejer\'eda de pareja y mediaci\'f3n, puede llamar al 787-466-5478 para una cita.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "It's encouraging that you say you want ""to be better connected with [your] husband,"" and since he hasn't left you, he must care about you and the relationship more than he does about just having sex. You don't say whether he complains or not, but even if he doesn't it seems there's a sense of something important missing for both of you.Most likely to connect better with him physically you'll need to become better connected with yourself and your body. Men often feel fulfilled by sex simply because it happened - the woman they want received them, allowed them to make love with her. For women that can sometimes be more complicated. A woman who loves sex most likely also loves her body, knows what pleasures her, and feels confident asking for what she wants. Self-pleasuring can be a way for you to discover more about your sexuality, and a classic resource is Betty Dodson's book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.\'a0A good counselor or sex therapist can be very helpful with your whole relationship as well as the sexual part of it, but not all counselors are comfortable working with sexual issues. Shop around and be sure you find someone who can help you and your husband get better connected on all levels.", | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you.", | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "There are a lot of different things that could be playing a role here.First, different people have unique levels of sex drive, and sometimes there is a hormonal imbalance.Because you say both that there is a possibility that neither one of you ""actually knows what you're doing,"" and you want to be better connected with your husband, consider having some time where you sit together and touch each other in nonsexual ways and communicate about what you like and don't like. One person would be doing the touching and the other would be communicating. Then the rules would switch. After you both become comfortable with that, you could try the same thing with touching that is sexual in nature.Dr. Tammy Nelson is a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual issues and she has several books and lots of other resources on her website:\'a0 | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "When it comes to sex drive, we are talking adrenal function, and a little bit of kidney;The endocrine glands require a bit of pumping up to improve one's sense of desire, motivation, and joy;Consider herbal formulas centering around woman's reproductive function to improve desire;To improve his, there are herbs for the man's side as well :)", | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "In order to develop a better intimate connection with your husband, it's important to first cultivate a strong connection with yourself. \'a0I would take some time to explore your own body, notice what feels pleasurable, and play with different ways to achieve orgasm on your own. \'a0Explore your own willingness to be open emotionally, sexually, and to play and have fun.Once you've engaged in a process of self exploration, I would check in with yourself and be honest about why you're not enjoying sex. \'a0Are there specific reasons you're not enjoying sex with your husband? \'a0Sometimes the reasons might be of a sexual nature and other times there could be emotional blocks (or anxiety) or other reasons that prevent you from wanting to be fully open and let go with your partner. \'a0From a sexual perspective, I would explore what you can do to increase your own pleasure, learn ways to communicate your needs in a loving way, and focus on pleasure and play (rather than outcome and orgasm). \'a0 Begin by taking the pressure off orgasm and enjoy a naked massage together-- focusing on exploring what feels pleasurable. \'a0Lastly, if you're wanting to learn new skills, check out a local sex workshop.", | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I have a better sex life when I don't like sex?"My husband and I have been married for seven years and in that time we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband." | "Hi there,\'a0Thank you for your openness about the challenge you are experiencing in your relationship. Sexual intimacy is an important part of many people's life, but how much importance is placed on it varies from couple to couple.\'a0The first step would be to have an open conversation with your husband. It's important you are both open about what you desire from sexual intimacy and how much intimacy each one of you wants. For example, asking your husband how often does he want to have sex/ week or /month. When having this conversation, it's important that you are both respectful and open with each other. The point of the conversation is to get to know each other and not to solve a problem, yet.\'a0There are couples who enjoy fulfilling platonic/friendship relationships with minimal or no sex because both partners are not interested in it. If you are both on the same page - lack of sex might not be a problem.\'a0If there is a difference in your sex drive and frequency of desire, I would recommend seeing a professional relationship & sex therapist as a couple to help you explore your current sexual dynamic, what's creating it, what's getting in a way of connecting sexually and to\'a0assist you and your husband in finding creative solutions.", | "I work with many couples that experience a wide range of sexual and relationship challenges. The one aspect I tell many folks that I work with, is this: Every person and relationship is different. There really isn't a ""normal"" amount of sex a person should have or want to have. If having sex 4 to 5 times in the course of your relationship is satisfying to you and your husband, there is nothing wrong with it. If you or your husband would like to have sex more often, I suggest talking with a counselor about this to find ways to engage in a sexual life in which you are both satisfied. The aspect of connectedness is an important one. While sex can be very connecting for many couples, it isn't the only way to connect. I find that communication about the matter of frequency of sex, checking in to see how you and your husband feel, as well as communicant about your needs for connection are an important start to fulfilling this need.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you.\'a0 In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-...if I cheated...you must have as well....but you're much worse than I because it's okay for me to cheat...but not you...now you're a cheating dirty slut...just like that prostitute\'a0Men believe they're entitled to treat women and children like property. Often they use intimidation and violence to control us.\'a0\'a0He'll never admit to cheating, he'll never apologize and he'll do it again and again. Truly they don't think it's a big deal, it's just their way of being social. They desperately want us to accept it, perhaps join in the act.", | "It sounds like you've been living with this uncertainty for those couple years since this happened.\'a0\'a0The reality is you won't ever ""know"" - mostly because of the various versions your husband has provided you.\'a0\'a0Infidelity, though painful, does not have to kill a marriage.\'a0 Secrecy and dishonesty certainly will though.\'a0 \'a0I encourage you and your husband to seek therapy together with someone who specializes in couples work.\'a0 The longer you wait to do so, the more damage is done to whatever connection you have and the greater the distrust will become. Please get qualified help, for your and your husband's sake.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "Hello, The truth is that you will never know unless your husband decides to be upfront about the details to gain your trust.\'a0 One thing is for sure though, not knowing and having this uncertainty in your heart will push your husband and you further away from being able to repair the marriage.\'a0 The best thing you both can do is seek professional help to navigate this issue and start doing damage control.\'a0 It sounds as if you are committed to this marriage and I am sure your husband is too.\'a0 It will take some time and purpose, but you can recover from this if you both commit.\'a0 Don't wait and start working the steps to find peace of mind and a way to reconnect with the man you love.\'a0 Mirella~Image and Likeness Counseling", | "I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you.\'a0 In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-...if I cheated...you must have as well....but you're much worse than I because it's okay for me to cheat...but not you...now you're a cheating dirty slut...just like that prostitute\'a0Men believe they're entitled to treat women and children like property. Often they use intimidation and violence to control us.\'a0\'a0He'll never admit to cheating, he'll never apologize and he'll do it again and again. Truly they don't think it's a big deal, it's just their way of being social. They desperately want us to accept it, perhaps join in the act.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "The only two people who know the answer to your question are your husband and the prostitute.The question you did and can answer is the reason you would doubt your husband, which is bc of his multiple stories.Ideally your husband cares to restore your sense of confidence in the stories he tells you.If you state your doubts and your interest for the truth, ideally he will produce enough evidence of the truth so you will have facts and can make sense of them. \'a0 Hopefully the two of you will do this sense making together, especially if he did have sex w the prostititute.If he's unwilling to care about restoring your trust in him, then this is a different problem entirely.", | "I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you.\'a0 In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-...if I cheated...you must have as well....but you're much worse than I because it's okay for me to cheat...but not you...now you're a cheating dirty slut...just like that prostitute\'a0Men believe they're entitled to treat women and children like property. Often they use intimidation and violence to control us.\'a0\'a0He'll never admit to cheating, he'll never apologize and he'll do it again and again. Truly they don't think it's a big deal, it's just their way of being social. They desperately want us to accept it, perhaps join in the act.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "I've been in this situation before and have some insight to share with you.\'a0 In my experience, he was lying and trying to cover it up. By pushing you to std testing, he's distracting you so he can shift the guilt he feels and blame it on you. In a guilty man's mind I believe he's thinking-...if I cheated...you must have as well....but you're much worse than I because it's okay for me to cheat...but not you...now you're a cheating dirty slut...just like that prostitute\'a0Men believe they're entitled to treat women and children like property. Often they use intimidation and violence to control us.\'a0\'a0He'll never admit to cheating, he'll never apologize and he'll do it again and again. Truly they don't think it's a big deal, it's just their way of being social. They desperately want us to accept it, perhaps join in the act.", | "The answer lies in what the outcome will be. How will things end if you find out he had sex with a prostitute? Will you leave? Will you try to work things out?\'a0The multiple versions are concerning. He seems unable to be truthful and this is damaging your relationship.\'a0Before considering marital therapy, please find a counselor for yourself. The right therapist can help you uncover what is right for you.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "Hello, The truth is that you will never know unless your husband decides to be upfront about the details to gain your trust.\'a0 One thing is for sure though, not knowing and having this uncertainty in your heart will push your husband and you further away from being able to repair the marriage.\'a0 The best thing you both can do is seek professional help to navigate this issue and start doing damage control.\'a0 It sounds as if you are committed to this marriage and I am sure your husband is too.\'a0 It will take some time and purpose, but you can recover from this if you both commit.\'a0 Don't wait and start working the steps to find peace of mind and a way to reconnect with the man you love.\'a0 Mirella~Image and Likeness Counseling", | "It sounds like you've been living with this uncertainty for those couple years since this happened.\'a0\'a0The reality is you won't ever ""know"" - mostly because of the various versions your husband has provided you.\'a0\'a0Infidelity, though painful, does not have to kill a marriage.\'a0 Secrecy and dishonesty certainly will though.\'a0 \'a0I encourage you and your husband to seek therapy together with someone who specializes in couples work.\'a0 The longer you wait to do so, the more damage is done to whatever connection you have and the greater the distrust will become. Please get qualified help, for your and your husband's sake.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "The only two people who know the answer to your question are your husband and the prostitute.The question you did and can answer is the reason you would doubt your husband, which is bc of his multiple stories.Ideally your husband cares to restore your sense of confidence in the stories he tells you.If you state your doubts and your interest for the truth, ideally he will produce enough evidence of the truth so you will have facts and can make sense of them. \'a0 Hopefully the two of you will do this sense making together, especially if he did have sex w the prostititute.If he's unwilling to care about restoring your trust in him, then this is a different problem entirely.", | "It sounds like you've been living with this uncertainty for those couple years since this happened.\'a0\'a0The reality is you won't ever ""know"" - mostly because of the various versions your husband has provided you.\'a0\'a0Infidelity, though painful, does not have to kill a marriage.\'a0 Secrecy and dishonesty certainly will though.\'a0 \'a0I encourage you and your husband to seek therapy together with someone who specializes in couples work.\'a0 The longer you wait to do so, the more damage is done to whatever connection you have and the greater the distrust will become. Please get qualified help, for your and your husband's sake.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "It sounds like you've been living with this uncertainty for those couple years since this happened.\'a0\'a0The reality is you won't ever ""know"" - mostly because of the various versions your husband has provided you.\'a0\'a0Infidelity, though painful, does not have to kill a marriage.\'a0 Secrecy and dishonesty certainly will though.\'a0 \'a0I encourage you and your husband to seek therapy together with someone who specializes in couples work.\'a0 The longer you wait to do so, the more damage is done to whatever connection you have and the greater the distrust will become. Please get qualified help, for your and your husband's sake.", | "The answer lies in what the outcome will be. How will things end if you find out he had sex with a prostitute? Will you leave? Will you try to work things out?\'a0The multiple versions are concerning. He seems unable to be truthful and this is damaging your relationship.\'a0Before considering marital therapy, please find a counselor for yourself. The right therapist can help you uncover what is right for you.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "The only two people who know the answer to your question are your husband and the prostitute.The question you did and can answer is the reason you would doubt your husband, which is bc of his multiple stories.Ideally your husband cares to restore your sense of confidence in the stories he tells you.If you state your doubts and your interest for the truth, ideally he will produce enough evidence of the truth so you will have facts and can make sense of them. \'a0 Hopefully the two of you will do this sense making together, especially if he did have sex w the prostititute.If he's unwilling to care about restoring your trust in him, then this is a different problem entirely.", | "Hello, The truth is that you will never know unless your husband decides to be upfront about the details to gain your trust.\'a0 One thing is for sure though, not knowing and having this uncertainty in your heart will push your husband and you further away from being able to repair the marriage.\'a0 The best thing you both can do is seek professional help to navigate this issue and start doing damage control.\'a0 It sounds as if you are committed to this marriage and I am sure your husband is too.\'a0 It will take some time and purpose, but you can recover from this if you both commit.\'a0 Don't wait and start working the steps to find peace of mind and a way to reconnect with the man you love.\'a0 Mirella~Image and Likeness Counseling", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "Hello, The truth is that you will never know unless your husband decides to be upfront about the details to gain your trust.\'a0 One thing is for sure though, not knowing and having this uncertainty in your heart will push your husband and you further away from being able to repair the marriage.\'a0 The best thing you both can do is seek professional help to navigate this issue and start doing damage control.\'a0 It sounds as if you are committed to this marriage and I am sure your husband is too.\'a0 It will take some time and purpose, but you can recover from this if you both commit.\'a0 Don't wait and start working the steps to find peace of mind and a way to reconnect with the man you love.\'a0 Mirella~Image and Likeness Counseling", | "The answer lies in what the outcome will be. How will things end if you find out he had sex with a prostitute? Will you leave? Will you try to work things out?\'a0The multiple versions are concerning. He seems unable to be truthful and this is damaging your relationship.\'a0Before considering marital therapy, please find a counselor for yourself. The right therapist can help you uncover what is right for you.", |
How can I tell if my spouse had sex with a prostitute?"My spouse visited the red light district a couple of years back in Amsterdam. After he got back from the trip he got me tested for stds. In the aftermath he has provided multiple versions of what happened from having a total blackout to being touched by a prostitute. How do I know if he had sex?" | "The only two people who know the answer to your question are your husband and the prostitute.The question you did and can answer is the reason you would doubt your husband, which is bc of his multiple stories.Ideally your husband cares to restore your sense of confidence in the stories he tells you.If you state your doubts and your interest for the truth, ideally he will produce enough evidence of the truth so you will have facts and can make sense of them. \'a0 Hopefully the two of you will do this sense making together, especially if he did have sex w the prostititute.If he's unwilling to care about restoring your trust in him, then this is a different problem entirely.", | "The answer lies in what the outcome will be. How will things end if you find out he had sex with a prostitute? Will you leave? Will you try to work things out?\'a0The multiple versions are concerning. He seems unable to be truthful and this is damaging your relationship.\'a0Before considering marital therapy, please find a counselor for yourself. The right therapist can help you uncover what is right for you.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "HelloYes many couples have survived infidelity. How sincere is he with wanting to work it out?That means alot in recovery. The key is to understand that cheating is a choice. Please don't take the betrayal personal.Look at the foundation of the relationship.\'a0 Is there cracks that can be healed? How do you feel about betrayal?\'a0Honest communication is the key to healing. Never assume monogamy discuss it. No one can tell you if you should stay or go. That is a very personal decision.\'a0Start by setting up face to face time to discuss the affair and emotions.\'a0 If this may be hard please get a counselor or therapist that can meditate this journey.\'a0Just remember even if you decide to leave you still need support to heal. Just because you leave the situation,\'a0 the trauma still exists.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. Thank you for your question. Many couples that experience infidelity in their relationship face this important question - ""is it possible for us to get past the cheating, or should I just move on?""\'a0Deciding to stay or leave is such a personal decision, one that only you can make.When an affair is disclosed or found out, it can have a traumatic impact on the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner might be overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts - Wanting answers to specific questions - Wanting details. And the partner that had the affair might be feeling overwhelm around ""Will their partner ever forgive them?"" ""Will they trust them again?"" ""How long will it take to regain their trust again?""\'a0While it is possible for couples to get past the cheating, it does take a commitment from each partner to do the work needed. Because of the complexities cheating has on the bond couples have with each other, I would recommend seeing a couple therapist that specializes in working with the issue of infidelity. When infidelity happens, there are usually a number of secrets that accompany it, and this can be incredibly difficult for couples to work through on their own.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Hello. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that you are struggling with making a decision about this. In my experience, a couple can absolutely overcome cheating and get back to the relationship they once had. Hopefully, the other relationship is over, and you can work on rebuilding the trust that has been broken. It will be difficult for the both of you to move past this, and getting professional help as you navigate rebuilding your relationship is a good idea. Just know that you can get past this, many couples do.Good luck!", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Definitely yes, it is possible for a couple to trust each other again and become close with each other.Since your trust was broken, your fianc\'e9 would need to earn back your belief that he is faithful to you.Do you feel he empathizes with how you felt to find out about his cheating?Before you have this question answered, based on what you write there is a sense of your own doubt as to whether you are with the right partner.Before you and he address regaining your trust, first decide if you'd like to work on this.Ask yourself if the sexual attention he felt he wasn't getting from you was bc you're not as interested in him as you imagine or once felt in the past.If each of you sincerely wants to be together, it is possible to talk about your respective needs and help the other person feel safe again with the other.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "As a relationship therapist I work with couples all the time that are in the repair phase of their relationship after infidelity. The short answer to this, is not only is it possible to have a satisfying and fullfilling relationship after infidelity, it happens more often that we may know. The current rate of infidelity is high, while it's not important to go into many reasons, it mau be important to know you aren't alone in this! My biggest suggestion for you would be to seek out a professional counselor that specializes in working with couples healing from infidelity. Best of luck!", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Betrayal in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things a relationship can sustain. Sometimes feelings about the betrayal may also trigger past wounds. The fact that ""it only happened once"" may not make it any easier to move forward. I highly recommend working with a mental health professional who has experience working around the issue of infidelity. Together, you can work on healing the wounds and moving forward. I do believe it is possible to move forward, if both partners are ready and willing to do the work to move forward together and create a new vision for their relationship.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "Finding out about an affair is quite an emotional experience. It's usually jarring. I encourage you to give yourself some compassion about emotions that you have.You asked whether it is possible to get past the cheating and the answer is that it can be. It depends on many factors.I would recommend that you see a therapist who specializes in working with couples. There are certain ways that both of you could learn more about yourselves and each other that may actually serve to make your relationship stronger. Sometimes there are motivations for having an affair that can be discussed in therapy in a way that you become more aware of what each other is experiencing and where you want to go from here. It could be that learning to communicate differently would be helpful.Regarding whether you should ""just move on,"" I recommend talking about with a therapist as well. At the very least, you can discuss more about what you are thinking and feeling and what your choices are as far as where you want to go from here.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "It's possible but challenging. Both partners need to be feel motivated enough to repair the relationship and dedicated to the work needed to address whatever underlying issues led to the serious breach of trust. For some people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker\'97for others, the context of the cheating allows them to see it as a mistake that they can forgive their partner for. So it depends on how you feel about the relationship and whether you want to put in the work to repair it.If you're not sure how you feel, counseling can help you resolve the ambiguity, either individually or with your partner. Then, depending on what you decide, a counselor can help you either repair the relationship or decouple from your former partner.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
Is it possible for a couple to overcome cheating if it only happened once?"My fianc\'e and I have been together for years and our relationship has always been good. The only issue we had was that he felt like he wasn't getting enough sexual attention from me. I recently found out he cheated on me with another women. He says he wants his family back but I'm confused on what to do. Is it possible for us to get past the cheating or should I just move on?" | "I think there are many different directions we could go as far as answering your question. \'a0I think the first and most important question you need to ask yourself is do you truly believe in your heart that you can forgive him and trust him again? \'a0Once you answer that question honestly then you can move in one of two directions. \'a0First, if you truly love this guy and see yourself being with him long term and for the ""long haul"", so to speak...and you genuinely want to forgive him and trust him again, that is completely do-able and possible if you both put in the work. \'a0But, there's a greater issue here that needs to be addressed. \'a0You say your relationship is ""good"", but there's been a sexual disconnect between the two of you and that usually indicates some type of emotional disconnect is at the core. \'a0Would you agree with that, or what are your thoughts? \'a0Were you giving him less sexual attention than you normally do or were you guys never on the same page about sexual needs and having compatible sex drives? \'a0If you are more of an emotional person than he is, you may have been less interested sexually because he hasn't been meeting your emotional needs. \'a0For instance, if you hadn't been feeling loved, cared about, validated, appreciated, cherished, and special to him than you may have felt less connected physically and been less interested. \'a0This is a common issue with couples, and can easily be addressed if the communication in your relationship is strong and you can find a way to express to him your frustrations. \'a0In essence, many women tend to have more emotional needs than men, this is the way we are hard-wired, and there are exceptions to this of course, but if you have been feeling neglected emotionally than your lack of interest in sex is actually completely understandable and NORMAL! \'a0Until he understands this, and can learn to tune into your needs emotionally, you may struggle with feeling you are out of sync emotionally (and sexually). \'a0This leads to you both being frustrated, but if all this is ringing true to you, he seriously probably has no clue what's going on and may not know how you're feeling. \'a0You need to communicate your needs to him; if you are super lost with how to do that, there's an awesome book called The Five Love Languages. \'a0It's not that long, and it's very approachable and easy to apply the concepts to your relationships. Invaluable resource for relationships and truly eye opening; really!!This is a long post, I'm sorry! \'a0But this is such an important issue that is very common and many people feel lost about how to handle it. \'a0So back to the second direction you can go....you feel very betrayed, you aren't sure if you can ever trust him again and you see yourself perhaps being paranoid forever and never being able to completely get over this. \'a0For instance, if he says he is working late, or if he doesn't call or text right away when he usually does, you may immediately jump to the worst case scenario that he is cheating again. \'a0Of course, it may not be true, he may have legit reasons for his behaviors, but the point is if you are going to be in paranoia-mode OR you just will always be unsure whether he loves you and is committed to you and only you, then the trust may not be able to be re-built. \'a0You need to think long and hard about this, and if you decide you have the capacity to forgive him and rebuild your foundation of trust and honesty, then you need to let him know very explicitly what you need him to do to earn that trust back. \'a0You can't just tell him vaguely ""I need to trust you again""; if he wants his family back and he's willing to do the work, you need to line out exactly what he needs to do and he needs to do it. \'a0But, be prepared that he might throw out there that he cheated because he felt you weren't attracted to him anymore (or he tries to put the blame on you somehow because he says you weren't meeting his physical needs)...if he throws that out there, but you weren't showing him the affection because you were frustrated emotionally, then it all starts with you communicating that to him. \'a0Get that book!In conclusion, if you feel in your heart there is no way you will be able to trust him again and you will always wonder if he's cheating when his behavior isn't spot on, you will be a nervous wreck and perhaps cutting your losses now would spare you the continued heartache. \'a0There is certainly a way to work through this, but you both have to be motivated and you have to get to the source of why the cheating happened in the first place. \'a0Rebuilding trust can be a long process, maybe even years, and for some people, they may never be able to fully trust and let go of the past. \'a0I truly recommend starting with the book, and then going from there. \'a0If you decide you want to stay with him, you would really benefit from couples counseling, as it sounds like a professional could help you strengthen your communication and ability to trust again.", | "First off, let's start with really\
validating the potential emotional pain you are feeling right now. There is\
generally no lack of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger. These are\
all normal emotions and being allowed to feel them is the beginning of the\
healing process. It might be helpful to talk about these feeling with your fianc\'e9,\
a friend or a counselor.Now to get to your primary question.\
Can a relationship move past infidelity? The short answer is yes. A bit longer\
of an explanation is that is sounds like you and your fianc\'e9 had pieces of a solid\
foundation to base a relationship on. For many couples they encounter a primary\
challenge, sometimes that's money, or parenting and for some it's sexuality. If\
you and your fianc\'e9 are both committed to balancing the positive aspects of your\
relationship while improving the challenges than it's definitely possible to\
move past this. This is not an easy process and for many couples takes months\
or years of healing while engaging in relationship counseling.\'a0Good luck to you and your continues\
healing and growth!", |
"I'm soon to be married and I've been messing around with others""I\'m a man and I\'m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing but it\'s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do." | "It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book ""Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men"" by Jane Ward, 2)\'a0 | "Good for you to bring up this situation for addressing, especially \'a0before you and your partner are married and have all the legal responsibilities of married life.You gave yourself the biggest clue as to where to start solving this problem.Since you don't know what to do, then for right now postpone your wedding date.Whether your drive toward other men relates to feeling sexually unfulfilled with your fianc\'e9, or you're not as willing to commit to your fianc\'e9 as you imagined yourself to be, or there are other relationship problems not being addressed with your fianc\'e9, these need to be identified and understood.Since marriage is a commitment of one's life to another person's life, then without the willingness to commit you are almost guaranteeing future problems in the upcoming marriage.", |
"I'm soon to be married and I've been messing around with others""I\'m a man and I\'m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing but it\'s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do." | "It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book ""Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men"" by Jane Ward, 2)\'a0 | "I would start by examining the reasons for seeking out other relationships. Are you getting something from the other men that you do not currently receive from your current partner? Such as,\'a0is it\'a0more exciting with others and that excitement is lacking in your current relationship?", |
"I'm soon to be married and I've been messing around with others""I\'m a man and I\'m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing but it\'s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do." | "It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book ""Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men"" by Jane Ward, 2)\'a0 | "Divorce is expensive emotionally and financially. If your fiance is not ok with an open marriage, it would be a good idea to seek the help of a counselor before you get married.", |
"I'm soon to be married and I've been messing around with others""I\'m a man and I\'m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing but it\'s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do." | "It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book ""Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men"" by Jane Ward, 2)\'a0 | "If you are happy with the person that you are about to be married to and are also enjoying time with other men, it could be possible that you are attracted to people of more than one gender.Having said that, some people have feelings toward people of more than one gender that are not really related to romance or attraction, but any number of other feelings, such as trust and communication. I don't know whether your use of the phrase ""messing around"" was related specifically to being romantically or sexually involved with the people who you are or referring to or if you are saying that you are enjoying spending time with them. These terms have different definitions for almost everyone.I would definitely recommend speaking with a local mental health practitioner in your area, not because there is anything wrong about the way you are feeling, but because there are a lot of different parts of what is happening in your life right now and it may be helpful to talk about the feelings and thoughts with someone who can help you to learn more about yourself and the people are most important in your life (yourself included).I also suggest looking at a few things that you love and appreciate about yourself.", |
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