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I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "First off, I would like to congratulate you on making the decision to stop smoking.\'a0 The next thing I want to share is that there are so many different ways to kick the habit. Some people find solace in groups, while others prefer to see a counselor about this individually. Remember, that the crux of addiction is feeling one way and using a substance or thing to feel a different way.\'a0 My suggestion is to find an addiction counselor and create an individualized plan together to help you stop smoking . Your chances of stopping smoking are much higher when you have professional support and a plan to work on outside of your sessions.", | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "First off, I would like to congratulate you on making the decision to stop smoking.\'a0 The next thing I want to share is that there are so many different ways to kick the habit. Some people find solace in groups, while others prefer to see a counselor about this individually. Remember, that the crux of addiction is feeling one way and using a substance or thing to feel a different way.\'a0 My suggestion is to find an addiction counselor and create an individualized plan together to help you stop smoking . Your chances of stopping smoking are much higher when you have professional support and a plan to work on outside of your sessions.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "First off, I would like to congratulate you on making the decision to stop smoking.\'a0 The next thing I want to share is that there are so many different ways to kick the habit. Some people find solace in groups, while others prefer to see a counselor about this individually. Remember, that the crux of addiction is feeling one way and using a substance or thing to feel a different way.\'a0 My suggestion is to find an addiction counselor and create an individualized plan together to help you stop smoking . Your chances of stopping smoking are much higher when you have professional support and a plan to work on outside of your sessions.", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "First off, I would like to congratulate you on making the decision to stop smoking.\'a0 The next thing I want to share is that there are so many different ways to kick the habit. Some people find solace in groups, while others prefer to see a counselor about this individually. Remember, that the crux of addiction is feeling one way and using a substance or thing to feel a different way.\'a0 My suggestion is to find an addiction counselor and create an individualized plan together to help you stop smoking . Your chances of stopping smoking are much higher when you have professional support and a plan to work on outside of your sessions.", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "While smoking can be incredibly difficult to quit doing, it's not impossible, so the first thing to NOT lose is hope. And certainly planning to have a baby can be exactly the catalyst that one needs to motivate to complete this sort of task. But, as I said, it still won't be easy, even with the motivation there.There is a definite physical component, but it's great that you can acknowledge the psychological addiction that exists. It would be helpful to dive into what that psychological need actually is, as it can vary from person to person (whereas the physical addiction doesn't as much, and therefor can be helped through gums and patches and inhalers, etc.) Exploring and getting to the root of the psychological need can help you to determine what is going on for you psychologically, and how else you can meet those needs of yours, perhaps in much healthier and more adaptive ways, that also help you to feel really good about yourself. While replacement is not always advocated, having psychological needs is not something to be ashamed of, but rather nurtured.", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It's very admirable that you are trying to stop smoking for the sake of your health and your child's health.\'a0 The mental aspect of quitting a drug can and usually is the hardest part.\'a0 First, it can be helpful to change the focus of your thinking so you are focusing on the healthy behaviors you will start/improve rather than only focusing on the behavior that you are trying to stop.\'a0 The reason for this is that our brains hear the main topic of our thoughts.\'a0 That is, when you tell yourself ""quit smoking, quit smoking, quit smoking"", your brain hears ""smoking, smoking, smoking"".\'a0 So we need to put together a self-care plan that addresses your thinking, emotions, and behaviors (nutrition, physical activity, and other stress reducing activities).\'a0 The idea is to have an effective plan in place to both prevent yourself from feeling intense stress (which increases cravings) and to have a well-placed plan for when the intense cravings inevitably present themselves.\'a0 And lastly, and possibly the most important; You have to believe you deserve to be the healthiest version of yourself.\'a0 Think about the times when you are most vulnerable to smoke (stressful situations, after meals, when drinking, social situations, etc.).\'a0 The use of affirmations is also an important resource as what we say to ourselves effects our mood.\'a0 Repeatedly telling yourself ""i am healthy, ""i am getting healthier, ""my lungs are becoming clear and healthy"" or other affirmations like this.\'a0 Even if you don't believe them at first, continue saying them.\'a0 This step is important to improve cognitive flexibility which trains your brain to be open to change.\'a0 Think about activities that you like to do or that you would like to try and replace smoking with those activities.\'a0 Any activity that can make you laugh (time with friends, watching comedies, etc.) will evoke a calming response because when we feel happy, we typically don't feel stressed out simultaneously.", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Breaking any habit is no easy feat. \'a0 Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions. \'a0Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking. \'a01. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing. \'a0Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking. \'a0For instance, many people smoke while they drive. \'a0Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)). \'a0It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work. \'a02. \'a0Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break. \'a0This approach could be used in a variety of different ways. \'a0If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home. \'a0Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke. \'a0 Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes. \'a0With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them. \'a03. \'a0Consider cutting back before cutting out. \'a0If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on. \'a0Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether.\'a04. \'a0You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success. \'a05. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes,\'a0but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc. \'a0You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases. \'a0I recommend\'a0making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road. \'a0Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Hopefully you feel you have the time to follow this procedure.1. For a week - log when you smoke - time, place and activity2. Plan on cutting back 10% for a week.Cut out the easiest times.3.Next change the times and and activities for 3 days - consider water or candy or gum if it is very tough.\'a04. Cut another 10% each week until you are done.", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "It is very good news that you realize the risks of smoking cigarettes while pregnant and are willing to stop.Thinking about smoking is a typical and frequent reaction to being without the substance.Be creative with what you know about yourself to distract you when this psychological urge comes up. \'a0My suggestions are to imagine smoking if you find this would relieve the sense of wanting to smoke.Or, do the opposite and remind yourself of all the good reasons to not smoke.Also, since you're planning pregnancy then ask your partner for ideas on how to make the psychological feeling to want to smoke, feel less intense.Another suggestion is that your partner is your texting buddy to stop smoking. \'a0 With AA groups, a sponsor is always available for the alcoholic who feels distress about the urge to drink. \'a0\'a0Having a trusted and caring person to tell about your problem helps in many situations. \'a0Maybe it will help you to stop smoking.Good luck!", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
I'm addicted to smoking. How can I stop?"I'm planning to have baby so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need it's mental.\
I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?" | "Quitting smoking can be difficult. It's also true that there is part that is sometimes a physical need and a part that is often connected to emotions in some way. From the way that you wrote this, it sounds like you may have been able to stop smoking physically, but still have cravings.One thing you can do is talk with your primary care physician or OB/GYN about whether there is anything that you can take to help with the cravings. Sometimes that can very helpful.As far as the more emotional or mental piece, these things come to mind:Sometimes a crucial part is looking at the habit of smoking and seeing what else you can do to keep your mind and hands busy. There are sometimes toys, like those available at Office Playground, that may help to keep you physically occupied.There can also be changes or additions to your routine because I imagine that smoking took up a great deal of your time. Maybe when you have the temptation to get up and go to have a cigarette, you could have several other things that you can get up and do instead. The list is endless, but a few examples could be doing some physical exercise (with the permission of your doctor) just for a couple minutes because that could help with the craving as well, completing a puzzle, learning a new activity that requires using your hands (painting or knitting, perhaps).Another piece of quitting smoking is often linked to anxiety or other emotional changes, perhaps irritability. Depending on what it is that you may be feeling, \'a0learning other strategies to use can be helpful as well.This can all be quite overwhelming and a very big life change. I would recommend that if things do not become easier for you, consider talking with a therapist. Then you could not only have some more strategies or ideas directly related to you, but you could have very direct support for what you are trying to do.I give you a lot of credit!", | "It can be challenging to quite anything once we set our mind to it. \'a0We often crave the things more that we know we can not or should not have. \'a0With that being said I would encourage you to become aware of the chemical dependency part that cigarettes have on your brain and your body. \'a0Then make yourself aware of the mental part the habit part. \'a0Often times people will engage in smoking again just from the mere social aspect of it. \'a0Make yourself aware of these and devise a plan of the things you will do instead of going out on smoke breaks, or the ritual of smoking in the car on on the back porch. \'a0There are plenty of support groups out there to help with this as well. \'a0Smoking cessation is a good resource.", |
Is it okay if I take my friend's pills away?"My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications." | "Your good intentions to help your friend stay clean, are very caring about her.Unless your friend feels like stopping pills, \'a0taking them away will mean she finds them some place else.The problem that anyone who is addicted to pills has, is that the person is psychologically and at least with xanax, physically addicted.Taking pills has basically become a standard part of your friend's life.Her problem is bigger than your ability to care.If you haven't already done so, tell your friend directly about your opinion on the way she is using pills.This is not a guarantee that she'll stop.It isa way of you showing that you care about her.Offering love and advice are the only things you can do for her.Meanwhile, knowing she is hurting herself is probably hurting you.Be sure to keep a sense of balance within yourself. \'a0Offer your concern and know she is the one who must decide to stop using.", | "Hello! Thank you for your question. I have a worked with many people who have become addicted to benzodiazepines, like Clonazepam. It is a difficult road for people who are trying to become clean. It is also a very difficult road for those who love the person and are trying to be supportive. During those times, it is important to remember to take care of yourself, too. As for taking your friend's pills, my concern would be the legal ramifications that you could face should you ever be caught with someone else's prescription medication, and especially these types of medications. Our laws have become much more strict surrounding prescription drug sales and possession due to the increase in prescription drug abuse. In addition, people who are in active addiction are likely to find some other means to get their drug, so it would do little to help the overall problem. I don't know about your friend's family situation, but they may be a better route to take if you are concerned about your friend. They may already be involved, but with your help\'a0you\'a0may\'a0be able to convince your friend to go to treatment willingly. That is usually better. In many states, there are also involuntary committal processes where a person's family may be able to convince a court to force the person into treatment. This varies from state to state. If your friend's family is not aware of this option, it may be something to look into. It usually does take a relative, or a medical provider, to begin this process if it is available. I hope this was helpful, and I wish you and your friend well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "Thanks for asking this question. I know it can be really difficult to deal with issues like this.To answer your question, you might be able to get you brother some mental health help, even if he doesn't recognize that he needs it. In most states, an individual can request a mental health evaluation of a family member if that family member poses a danger to themselves or someone else, or if they are unable to take care of their own basic needs.You can always call 911 if you are concerned about his immediate safety (for example if you find him sleeping outside in below freezing weather. \'a0As an alternative to calling 911, you might also be able to request an evaluation from an authorized mental health provider. \'a0The deatsils of who you would contact vary from state to state. Here's a link with some additional resources: | "The answer depends on what State you live.Since the description you write here is that your brother may be a serious risk to himself and others, it is worth contacting a mental health hotline or one of your local area hospitals and talk to a social worker or other professional level person in their psychiatry department. \'a0Ask the same question you posted here. \'a0 Your question is a good one and merits serious follow through.", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "Thanks for asking this question. I know it can be really difficult to deal with issues like this.To answer your question, you might be able to get you brother some mental health help, even if he doesn't recognize that he needs it. In most states, an individual can request a mental health evaluation of a family member if that family member poses a danger to themselves or someone else, or if they are unable to take care of their own basic needs.You can always call 911 if you are concerned about his immediate safety (for example if you find him sleeping outside in below freezing weather. \'a0As an alternative to calling 911, you might also be able to request an evaluation from an authorized mental health provider. \'a0The deatsils of who you would contact vary from state to state. Here's a link with some additional resources: | "Hello, My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your family, dealing with a very painful and difficult situation.\'a0In New York, you can't institutionalize someone else directly. You can, however, call the police or EMS. If they agree that he would benefit from hospitalization (and it sounds like they would), he can be held in the hospital for up to 72 hours, whether he agrees or not. Some hospitals will not hold a person that long, in spite of what we might want. I have seen many patients in and out of hospitals countless times, and it has been my experience that it can be extremely difficult to hold a person long enough to achieve good stability and an appropriate after-care plan. Hospitals in NYC tend to take a ""patch and release"" approach more often than I would like.\'a0It's been my experience that family makes a difference. Assertive, knowledgeable, persistent family can improve the quality of your loved one's care. Hospitals are highly pressured to discharge people quickly but they can not discharge a homeless person without someplace to go. If your family is willing to accept your brother, that will be the path of least resistance for the hospital. If the family refuses, they will be forced to find another path for him. You can also pressure the hospital to refer to rehab after psychiatrically stablized (which may only take a few days) and that may give your brother more time to begin making clear-headed decisions.\'a0If your brother has a psychiatrist, that person should be actively involved. I had a patient patched-and-released three times, in spite of my advocacy and him literally begging\'a0to remain and stop his voices. We finally got a 90 day hospitalization because I strong-armed his psychiatrist into demanding that the hospital stabilize his patient. \'a0If your brother has a history of non--compliance with oral medications, you can push the hospital for injection, which again will help your brother stay stable for longer.\'a0Best wishes to you and your family.", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "Thanks for asking this question. I know it can be really difficult to deal with issues like this.To answer your question, you might be able to get you brother some mental health help, even if he doesn't recognize that he needs it. In most states, an individual can request a mental health evaluation of a family member if that family member poses a danger to themselves or someone else, or if they are unable to take care of their own basic needs.You can always call 911 if you are concerned about his immediate safety (for example if you find him sleeping outside in below freezing weather. \'a0As an alternative to calling 911, you might also be able to request an evaluation from an authorized mental health provider. \'a0The deatsils of who you would contact vary from state to state. Here's a link with some additional resources: | "Family members sometimes get Power of Attorney over vulnerable adults. If you had this, you could do something like that. I'm assuming that you don't, though. There are steps family members can take through the court system to get someone involuntarily committed, but it is a long process.\'a0I deal with situations like this everyday on the job. The only time an adult can be committed against their will is if they are deemed by the doctor (such as at an emergency room) to be a threat to self or others. For instance, if he had suicidal thoughts and a plan to carry out the action, or if he had homicidal thoughts against someone else and a plan to carry it out, he could be placed on a short hold, but these holds only last for a few days. This still isn't a long-term solution.\'a0An adult has the right to refuse treatment and the right to make their own choices, no matter how bad those choices are. If you have a way to get him to an ER whenever things like that happen, such as being found sleeping outside in 12 degree weather, it will help a lot. They may or may not do a short term commitment for treatment based on the situation that brings him to the ER, but it's a start. They can help set him up with appointments for psych and he can get on medications. You can help by taking him to appointments and making sure his medications get filled. However, you can't force him to take the meds, so this may be something that happens a lot. With enough of a paper trail of many ER visits and that sort of thing, you'll stand a better chance of getting a court appointed psych ward stay.\'a0Some tips about ER visits: Don't send him alone. Always go with him or have someone go with him, because you will be able to give the treatment team better insight into what's going on than he will. He may say everything's fine and he wants to leave, so they won't have any reason to keep him if that is the case. Go with him.\'a0If you do get Power of Attorney, take the paperwork with you when you go to the ER and to doctor's appointments because they aren't just going to take your word. They need to see the actual paperwork. Having it on file in their system isn't good enough because paperwork expires, etc. Take it with you at all times. You can also compile his medical records and that sort of thing to take with you so they can see a full history of what's going on.Keep in mind that if you do get Power of Attorney, this makes you his guardian and you have to take care of him. Otherwise, you can get reported for vulnerable adult abuse and neglect. In fact, your mom ignoring and not helping may already put her at risk of that because she is willingly doing nothing to help someone who clearly needs the help. She won't be financially responsible for the hospital or doctor bills, but should be held responsible for his safety. Someone should. There are group homes for people with schizophrenia. "" Being responsible"" for someone doesn't mean you have to pay their bills, it just means you are going to make sure they get the care they need. That care may be placement in a long-term care facility like a group home or a nursing home. Psych inpatient hospitals aren't long-term, so you do need to look into other long-term options. Psych inpatient stays are temporary and are to stabilize him, they're not where someone stays forever.Good luck, and keep up the good attitude! Work with his treatment team. Ask for a social worker. If they see family that is wanting to do the right thing and wanting to help, they'll help you even if it does take a while to get things sorted out. The worst thing any of you can do is NOT go to appointments and that sort of thing.", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "The answer depends on what State you live.Since the description you write here is that your brother may be a serious risk to himself and others, it is worth contacting a mental health hotline or one of your local area hospitals and talk to a social worker or other professional level person in their psychiatry department. \'a0Ask the same question you posted here. \'a0 Your question is a good one and merits serious follow through.", | "Hello, My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your family, dealing with a very painful and difficult situation.\'a0In New York, you can't institutionalize someone else directly. You can, however, call the police or EMS. If they agree that he would benefit from hospitalization (and it sounds like they would), he can be held in the hospital for up to 72 hours, whether he agrees or not. Some hospitals will not hold a person that long, in spite of what we might want. I have seen many patients in and out of hospitals countless times, and it has been my experience that it can be extremely difficult to hold a person long enough to achieve good stability and an appropriate after-care plan. Hospitals in NYC tend to take a ""patch and release"" approach more often than I would like.\'a0It's been my experience that family makes a difference. Assertive, knowledgeable, persistent family can improve the quality of your loved one's care. Hospitals are highly pressured to discharge people quickly but they can not discharge a homeless person without someplace to go. If your family is willing to accept your brother, that will be the path of least resistance for the hospital. If the family refuses, they will be forced to find another path for him. You can also pressure the hospital to refer to rehab after psychiatrically stablized (which may only take a few days) and that may give your brother more time to begin making clear-headed decisions.\'a0If your brother has a psychiatrist, that person should be actively involved. I had a patient patched-and-released three times, in spite of my advocacy and him literally begging\'a0to remain and stop his voices. We finally got a 90 day hospitalization because I strong-armed his psychiatrist into demanding that the hospital stabilize his patient. \'a0If your brother has a history of non--compliance with oral medications, you can push the hospital for injection, which again will help your brother stay stable for longer.\'a0Best wishes to you and your family.", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "The answer depends on what State you live.Since the description you write here is that your brother may be a serious risk to himself and others, it is worth contacting a mental health hotline or one of your local area hospitals and talk to a social worker or other professional level person in their psychiatry department. \'a0Ask the same question you posted here. \'a0 Your question is a good one and merits serious follow through.", | "Family members sometimes get Power of Attorney over vulnerable adults. If you had this, you could do something like that. I'm assuming that you don't, though. There are steps family members can take through the court system to get someone involuntarily committed, but it is a long process.\'a0I deal with situations like this everyday on the job. The only time an adult can be committed against their will is if they are deemed by the doctor (such as at an emergency room) to be a threat to self or others. For instance, if he had suicidal thoughts and a plan to carry out the action, or if he had homicidal thoughts against someone else and a plan to carry it out, he could be placed on a short hold, but these holds only last for a few days. This still isn't a long-term solution.\'a0An adult has the right to refuse treatment and the right to make their own choices, no matter how bad those choices are. If you have a way to get him to an ER whenever things like that happen, such as being found sleeping outside in 12 degree weather, it will help a lot. They may or may not do a short term commitment for treatment based on the situation that brings him to the ER, but it's a start. They can help set him up with appointments for psych and he can get on medications. You can help by taking him to appointments and making sure his medications get filled. However, you can't force him to take the meds, so this may be something that happens a lot. With enough of a paper trail of many ER visits and that sort of thing, you'll stand a better chance of getting a court appointed psych ward stay.\'a0Some tips about ER visits: Don't send him alone. Always go with him or have someone go with him, because you will be able to give the treatment team better insight into what's going on than he will. He may say everything's fine and he wants to leave, so they won't have any reason to keep him if that is the case. Go with him.\'a0If you do get Power of Attorney, take the paperwork with you when you go to the ER and to doctor's appointments because they aren't just going to take your word. They need to see the actual paperwork. Having it on file in their system isn't good enough because paperwork expires, etc. Take it with you at all times. You can also compile his medical records and that sort of thing to take with you so they can see a full history of what's going on.Keep in mind that if you do get Power of Attorney, this makes you his guardian and you have to take care of him. Otherwise, you can get reported for vulnerable adult abuse and neglect. In fact, your mom ignoring and not helping may already put her at risk of that because she is willingly doing nothing to help someone who clearly needs the help. She won't be financially responsible for the hospital or doctor bills, but should be held responsible for his safety. Someone should. There are group homes for people with schizophrenia. "" Being responsible"" for someone doesn't mean you have to pay their bills, it just means you are going to make sure they get the care they need. That care may be placement in a long-term care facility like a group home or a nursing home. Psych inpatient hospitals aren't long-term, so you do need to look into other long-term options. Psych inpatient stays are temporary and are to stabilize him, they're not where someone stays forever.Good luck, and keep up the good attitude! Work with his treatment team. Ask for a social worker. If they see family that is wanting to do the right thing and wanting to help, they'll help you even if it does take a while to get things sorted out. The worst thing any of you can do is NOT go to appointments and that sort of thing.", |
Can I sign my brother into a mental health facility?"My brother has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication. He's been using methamphetamine and alcohol and was found sleeping naked in my step mom driveway in degree weather.\
I was adopted in by his dad (who just passed) and his mother will not Get involved because she's afraid of financial responsibility. Do I have the rights to be able to sign my brother into mentalhealth facility?" | "Hello, My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your family, dealing with a very painful and difficult situation.\'a0In New York, you can't institutionalize someone else directly. You can, however, call the police or EMS. If they agree that he would benefit from hospitalization (and it sounds like they would), he can be held in the hospital for up to 72 hours, whether he agrees or not. Some hospitals will not hold a person that long, in spite of what we might want. I have seen many patients in and out of hospitals countless times, and it has been my experience that it can be extremely difficult to hold a person long enough to achieve good stability and an appropriate after-care plan. Hospitals in NYC tend to take a ""patch and release"" approach more often than I would like.\'a0It's been my experience that family makes a difference. Assertive, knowledgeable, persistent family can improve the quality of your loved one's care. Hospitals are highly pressured to discharge people quickly but they can not discharge a homeless person without someplace to go. If your family is willing to accept your brother, that will be the path of least resistance for the hospital. If the family refuses, they will be forced to find another path for him. You can also pressure the hospital to refer to rehab after psychiatrically stablized (which may only take a few days) and that may give your brother more time to begin making clear-headed decisions.\'a0If your brother has a psychiatrist, that person should be actively involved. I had a patient patched-and-released three times, in spite of my advocacy and him literally begging\'a0to remain and stop his voices. We finally got a 90 day hospitalization because I strong-armed his psychiatrist into demanding that the hospital stabilize his patient. \'a0If your brother has a history of non--compliance with oral medications, you can push the hospital for injection, which again will help your brother stay stable for longer.\'a0Best wishes to you and your family.", | "Family members sometimes get Power of Attorney over vulnerable adults. If you had this, you could do something like that. I'm assuming that you don't, though. There are steps family members can take through the court system to get someone involuntarily committed, but it is a long process.\'a0I deal with situations like this everyday on the job. The only time an adult can be committed against their will is if they are deemed by the doctor (such as at an emergency room) to be a threat to self or others. For instance, if he had suicidal thoughts and a plan to carry out the action, or if he had homicidal thoughts against someone else and a plan to carry it out, he could be placed on a short hold, but these holds only last for a few days. This still isn't a long-term solution.\'a0An adult has the right to refuse treatment and the right to make their own choices, no matter how bad those choices are. If you have a way to get him to an ER whenever things like that happen, such as being found sleeping outside in 12 degree weather, it will help a lot. They may or may not do a short term commitment for treatment based on the situation that brings him to the ER, but it's a start. They can help set him up with appointments for psych and he can get on medications. You can help by taking him to appointments and making sure his medications get filled. However, you can't force him to take the meds, so this may be something that happens a lot. With enough of a paper trail of many ER visits and that sort of thing, you'll stand a better chance of getting a court appointed psych ward stay.\'a0Some tips about ER visits: Don't send him alone. Always go with him or have someone go with him, because you will be able to give the treatment team better insight into what's going on than he will. He may say everything's fine and he wants to leave, so they won't have any reason to keep him if that is the case. Go with him.\'a0If you do get Power of Attorney, take the paperwork with you when you go to the ER and to doctor's appointments because they aren't just going to take your word. They need to see the actual paperwork. Having it on file in their system isn't good enough because paperwork expires, etc. Take it with you at all times. You can also compile his medical records and that sort of thing to take with you so they can see a full history of what's going on.Keep in mind that if you do get Power of Attorney, this makes you his guardian and you have to take care of him. Otherwise, you can get reported for vulnerable adult abuse and neglect. In fact, your mom ignoring and not helping may already put her at risk of that because she is willingly doing nothing to help someone who clearly needs the help. She won't be financially responsible for the hospital or doctor bills, but should be held responsible for his safety. Someone should. There are group homes for people with schizophrenia. "" Being responsible"" for someone doesn't mean you have to pay their bills, it just means you are going to make sure they get the care they need. That care may be placement in a long-term care facility like a group home or a nursing home. Psych inpatient hospitals aren't long-term, so you do need to look into other long-term options. Psych inpatient stays are temporary and are to stabilize him, they're not where someone stays forever.Good luck, and keep up the good attitude! Work with his treatment team. Ask for a social worker. If they see family that is wanting to do the right thing and wanting to help, they'll help you even if it does take a while to get things sorted out. The worst thing any of you can do is NOT go to appointments and that sort of thing.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "Anyone who wants to change their life path, eventually will be successful in this. \'a0How to stop abusing alcohol involves a few steps, most of them time consuming, with slow progress and very often with tremendous emotional pain.The basic path is to figure out what motivates you to drink too much and be addicted to weed. \'a0Almost always, addictions are rooted in the person having suffered feeling deeply ignored, humiliated, shamed, invisible, nothing very pleasant, since a very young age, usually starting around 18 months.Most often addicts are sensitive people who have been emotionally overburdened by the grownups in their family.With no outlet for emotional expression or nurturing, the frustration goes inward until the emotional pain feels very big and without an outlet.So, people mask and numb by substances, whether this is food, chocolate, work, alcohol, weed.Therapy that is humanistic based, is a better fit than one which is drug oriented and diagnosis oriented.If you'd like getting serious about knowing who you are, including any unfair treatment of you during your growing up years, you can do this.Once you have a stronger self-respect and awareness, you would naturally avoid substances because they harm people. \'a0Harming oneself is the opposite of self-respect.Also, about your diagnosis, it may not be true at all. \'a0the US healthcare system loves selling drugs to people and clinicians in agencies and clinics are encouraged to find something wrong with people in order to find a new customer who will take drugs.See if you can find a therapist who is independent minded, and therefore free to interact therapeutically with you as a human being, not as a potential customer if they are able to label you as having something ""wrong"".This simply continues the long line of being shamed by others that created the addiction problem in the first place.Good luck!", | "You may feel hopeless but YOU are not hopeless. Addictions of any sort are difficult to overcome, especially when they serve to bury pain and suffering that one is experiencing. It is not impossible to overcome alcohol or drug use/abuse/dependence on your own, but you will likely find much greater success with the help of a therapist or other support system such as rehabilitation or Alcoholics Anonymous. I suggest doing a bit of research to see what type of help\'a0is available and feasible for you in your area and go from there. Know that recovery takes time, willingness, and effort. Don't give up and remember that you are not hopeless. You can make the choice to change your habits and learn new ways of healthy coping. Best of luck to you!", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "This relationship with your step dad sounds very challenging. It is hard to to be told over and over again how not good enough we are. Let me offer you this, frequently when we say harsh, mean, nasty things to others, we are simply projecting our own thoughts about ourself. I am not advocating that this is ok, it seems like your stepdad could also use some support. You get to make your own empowered choice around this, this is your life and if you find yourself in a situation that does not suit you make a change.", | "You may feel hopeless but YOU are not hopeless. Addictions of any sort are difficult to overcome, especially when they serve to bury pain and suffering that one is experiencing. It is not impossible to overcome alcohol or drug use/abuse/dependence on your own, but you will likely find much greater success with the help of a therapist or other support system such as rehabilitation or Alcoholics Anonymous. I suggest doing a bit of research to see what type of help\'a0is available and feasible for you in your area and go from there. Know that recovery takes time, willingness, and effort. Don't give up and remember that you are not hopeless. You can make the choice to change your habits and learn new ways of healthy coping. Best of luck to you!", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "You may feel hopeless but YOU are not hopeless. Addictions of any sort are difficult to overcome, especially when they serve to bury pain and suffering that one is experiencing. It is not impossible to overcome alcohol or drug use/abuse/dependence on your own, but you will likely find much greater success with the help of a therapist or other support system such as rehabilitation or Alcoholics Anonymous. I suggest doing a bit of research to see what type of help\'a0is available and feasible for you in your area and go from there. Know that recovery takes time, willingness, and effort. Don't give up and remember that you are not hopeless. You can make the choice to change your habits and learn new ways of healthy coping. Best of luck to you!", | "The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem that is in need of change. \'a0Frequently our problems keep us in denial. \'a0Although feeling hopeless is an uncomfortable feeling, it suggests to me that you know that you can not do this alone. \'a0The best course of treatment for you is to treat all of these problems together. \'a0Alcohol detox can be very dangerous so it is important that you do this under the supervision of a medical provider; preferably someone who specializes in addiction. \'a0Know also that although marijuana may not appear to be as big as a problem as alcohol is, it will cause you to have an increase in alcohol cravings so complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is needed.\'a0I really recommend an inpatient stay for at least 30 days for anyone who is dealing with addiction, whether combined with mental health issues or not. \'a0If this is not a possibility, then the next best thing would be an Intensive outpatient program that treats both addiction and mental health issues. \'a0Know that there is hope for what you are experiencing. \'a0You can get control over these issues. \'a0The next step is finding the team and/or facility that is going to help you do it.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "You may feel hopeless but YOU are not hopeless. Addictions of any sort are difficult to overcome, especially when they serve to bury pain and suffering that one is experiencing. It is not impossible to overcome alcohol or drug use/abuse/dependence on your own, but you will likely find much greater success with the help of a therapist or other support system such as rehabilitation or Alcoholics Anonymous. I suggest doing a bit of research to see what type of help\'a0is available and feasible for you in your area and go from there. Know that recovery takes time, willingness, and effort. Don't give up and remember that you are not hopeless. You can make the choice to change your habits and learn new ways of healthy coping. Best of luck to you!", | "You are not hopeless, as you can see there are many people who care about your well being and believe you can overcome this. \'a0I would suggest that you first get evaluated for your alcohol consumption. \'a0Alcohol is one of the addictions that you may need to seek inpatient treatment for. \'a0If not inpatient then be monitored by a doctor. \'a0Once you are evaluated and or complete inpatient treatment I would suggest you participate in a form of outpatient therapy on a consistent basis.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "Anyone who wants to change their life path, eventually will be successful in this. \'a0How to stop abusing alcohol involves a few steps, most of them time consuming, with slow progress and very often with tremendous emotional pain.The basic path is to figure out what motivates you to drink too much and be addicted to weed. \'a0Almost always, addictions are rooted in the person having suffered feeling deeply ignored, humiliated, shamed, invisible, nothing very pleasant, since a very young age, usually starting around 18 months.Most often addicts are sensitive people who have been emotionally overburdened by the grownups in their family.With no outlet for emotional expression or nurturing, the frustration goes inward until the emotional pain feels very big and without an outlet.So, people mask and numb by substances, whether this is food, chocolate, work, alcohol, weed.Therapy that is humanistic based, is a better fit than one which is drug oriented and diagnosis oriented.If you'd like getting serious about knowing who you are, including any unfair treatment of you during your growing up years, you can do this.Once you have a stronger self-respect and awareness, you would naturally avoid substances because they harm people. \'a0Harming oneself is the opposite of self-respect.Also, about your diagnosis, it may not be true at all. \'a0the US healthcare system loves selling drugs to people and clinicians in agencies and clinics are encouraged to find something wrong with people in order to find a new customer who will take drugs.See if you can find a therapist who is independent minded, and therefore free to interact therapeutically with you as a human being, not as a potential customer if they are able to label you as having something ""wrong"".This simply continues the long line of being shamed by others that created the addiction problem in the first place.Good luck!", | "This relationship with your step dad sounds very challenging. It is hard to to be told over and over again how not good enough we are. Let me offer you this, frequently when we say harsh, mean, nasty things to others, we are simply projecting our own thoughts about ourself. I am not advocating that this is ok, it seems like your stepdad could also use some support. You get to make your own empowered choice around this, this is your life and if you find yourself in a situation that does not suit you make a change.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "Anyone who wants to change their life path, eventually will be successful in this. \'a0How to stop abusing alcohol involves a few steps, most of them time consuming, with slow progress and very often with tremendous emotional pain.The basic path is to figure out what motivates you to drink too much and be addicted to weed. \'a0Almost always, addictions are rooted in the person having suffered feeling deeply ignored, humiliated, shamed, invisible, nothing very pleasant, since a very young age, usually starting around 18 months.Most often addicts are sensitive people who have been emotionally overburdened by the grownups in their family.With no outlet for emotional expression or nurturing, the frustration goes inward until the emotional pain feels very big and without an outlet.So, people mask and numb by substances, whether this is food, chocolate, work, alcohol, weed.Therapy that is humanistic based, is a better fit than one which is drug oriented and diagnosis oriented.If you'd like getting serious about knowing who you are, including any unfair treatment of you during your growing up years, you can do this.Once you have a stronger self-respect and awareness, you would naturally avoid substances because they harm people. \'a0Harming oneself is the opposite of self-respect.Also, about your diagnosis, it may not be true at all. \'a0the US healthcare system loves selling drugs to people and clinicians in agencies and clinics are encouraged to find something wrong with people in order to find a new customer who will take drugs.See if you can find a therapist who is independent minded, and therefore free to interact therapeutically with you as a human being, not as a potential customer if they are able to label you as having something ""wrong"".This simply continues the long line of being shamed by others that created the addiction problem in the first place.Good luck!", | "The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem that is in need of change. \'a0Frequently our problems keep us in denial. \'a0Although feeling hopeless is an uncomfortable feeling, it suggests to me that you know that you can not do this alone. \'a0The best course of treatment for you is to treat all of these problems together. \'a0Alcohol detox can be very dangerous so it is important that you do this under the supervision of a medical provider; preferably someone who specializes in addiction. \'a0Know also that although marijuana may not appear to be as big as a problem as alcohol is, it will cause you to have an increase in alcohol cravings so complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is needed.\'a0I really recommend an inpatient stay for at least 30 days for anyone who is dealing with addiction, whether combined with mental health issues or not. \'a0If this is not a possibility, then the next best thing would be an Intensive outpatient program that treats both addiction and mental health issues. \'a0Know that there is hope for what you are experiencing. \'a0You can get control over these issues. \'a0The next step is finding the team and/or facility that is going to help you do it.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "Anyone who wants to change their life path, eventually will be successful in this. \'a0How to stop abusing alcohol involves a few steps, most of them time consuming, with slow progress and very often with tremendous emotional pain.The basic path is to figure out what motivates you to drink too much and be addicted to weed. \'a0Almost always, addictions are rooted in the person having suffered feeling deeply ignored, humiliated, shamed, invisible, nothing very pleasant, since a very young age, usually starting around 18 months.Most often addicts are sensitive people who have been emotionally overburdened by the grownups in their family.With no outlet for emotional expression or nurturing, the frustration goes inward until the emotional pain feels very big and without an outlet.So, people mask and numb by substances, whether this is food, chocolate, work, alcohol, weed.Therapy that is humanistic based, is a better fit than one which is drug oriented and diagnosis oriented.If you'd like getting serious about knowing who you are, including any unfair treatment of you during your growing up years, you can do this.Once you have a stronger self-respect and awareness, you would naturally avoid substances because they harm people. \'a0Harming oneself is the opposite of self-respect.Also, about your diagnosis, it may not be true at all. \'a0the US healthcare system loves selling drugs to people and clinicians in agencies and clinics are encouraged to find something wrong with people in order to find a new customer who will take drugs.See if you can find a therapist who is independent minded, and therefore free to interact therapeutically with you as a human being, not as a potential customer if they are able to label you as having something ""wrong"".This simply continues the long line of being shamed by others that created the addiction problem in the first place.Good luck!", | "You are not hopeless, as you can see there are many people who care about your well being and believe you can overcome this. \'a0I would suggest that you first get evaluated for your alcohol consumption. \'a0Alcohol is one of the addictions that you may need to seek inpatient treatment for. \'a0If not inpatient then be monitored by a doctor. \'a0Once you are evaluated and or complete inpatient treatment I would suggest you participate in a form of outpatient therapy on a consistent basis.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "This relationship with your step dad sounds very challenging. It is hard to to be told over and over again how not good enough we are. Let me offer you this, frequently when we say harsh, mean, nasty things to others, we are simply projecting our own thoughts about ourself. I am not advocating that this is ok, it seems like your stepdad could also use some support. You get to make your own empowered choice around this, this is your life and if you find yourself in a situation that does not suit you make a change.", | "The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem that is in need of change. \'a0Frequently our problems keep us in denial. \'a0Although feeling hopeless is an uncomfortable feeling, it suggests to me that you know that you can not do this alone. \'a0The best course of treatment for you is to treat all of these problems together. \'a0Alcohol detox can be very dangerous so it is important that you do this under the supervision of a medical provider; preferably someone who specializes in addiction. \'a0Know also that although marijuana may not appear to be as big as a problem as alcohol is, it will cause you to have an increase in alcohol cravings so complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is needed.\'a0I really recommend an inpatient stay for at least 30 days for anyone who is dealing with addiction, whether combined with mental health issues or not. \'a0If this is not a possibility, then the next best thing would be an Intensive outpatient program that treats both addiction and mental health issues. \'a0Know that there is hope for what you are experiencing. \'a0You can get control over these issues. \'a0The next step is finding the team and/or facility that is going to help you do it.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "This relationship with your step dad sounds very challenging. It is hard to to be told over and over again how not good enough we are. Let me offer you this, frequently when we say harsh, mean, nasty things to others, we are simply projecting our own thoughts about ourself. I am not advocating that this is ok, it seems like your stepdad could also use some support. You get to make your own empowered choice around this, this is your life and if you find yourself in a situation that does not suit you make a change.", | "You are not hopeless, as you can see there are many people who care about your well being and believe you can overcome this. \'a0I would suggest that you first get evaluated for your alcohol consumption. \'a0Alcohol is one of the addictions that you may need to seek inpatient treatment for. \'a0If not inpatient then be monitored by a doctor. \'a0Once you are evaluated and or complete inpatient treatment I would suggest you participate in a form of outpatient therapy on a consistent basis.", |
How can I stop abusing alcohol?"I have bipolar II disorder I'm addicted to alcohol and weed and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others." | "The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem that is in need of change. \'a0Frequently our problems keep us in denial. \'a0Although feeling hopeless is an uncomfortable feeling, it suggests to me that you know that you can not do this alone. \'a0The best course of treatment for you is to treat all of these problems together. \'a0Alcohol detox can be very dangerous so it is important that you do this under the supervision of a medical provider; preferably someone who specializes in addiction. \'a0Know also that although marijuana may not appear to be as big as a problem as alcohol is, it will cause you to have an increase in alcohol cravings so complete abstinence from drugs and alcohol is needed.\'a0I really recommend an inpatient stay for at least 30 days for anyone who is dealing with addiction, whether combined with mental health issues or not. \'a0If this is not a possibility, then the next best thing would be an Intensive outpatient program that treats both addiction and mental health issues. \'a0Know that there is hope for what you are experiencing. \'a0You can get control over these issues. \'a0The next step is finding the team and/or facility that is going to help you do it.", | "You are not hopeless, as you can see there are many people who care about your well being and believe you can overcome this. \'a0I would suggest that you first get evaluated for your alcohol consumption. \'a0Alcohol is one of the addictions that you may need to seek inpatient treatment for. \'a0If not inpatient then be monitored by a doctor. \'a0Once you are evaluated and or complete inpatient treatment I would suggest you participate in a form of outpatient therapy on a consistent basis.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "There is some great advice here that can really help, but you need some direct support.\'a0 Please find a caregiver support organization, a grief group and an individual therapist to help you during this trying time.\'a0 Your mom may not know what she is saying, or mean the awful things she says, but that doesn't make it hurt less.\'a0 Please take care of yourself and gt some help!", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It's a good question man, and it must be terrible to see your mother in the state she's in.Understand that Alzheimer's is due to under-performing function of kidneys, adrenals, and connective tissue strengtheners; all of which may be corrected with appropriate protocols that are inexpensive and generally simple to follow.Imagine it like a flower that is not fed properly:\'a0 A once, beautifully blossom flower APPEARS to be wilting, but it's life-force, spirit, and essence remain fully there and present.\'a0 And your mom hears you.Let's clean her out, and see her smile return.", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Make sure that you continue to treat your Mom with respect. However, you also need to make sure that you have time away from her so that the stress of caring for her doesn't overwhelm you. Balance is the key!", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "You have the answer already. It is not your mom's fault. Always remember that in spite of the disease, that human being you call mom is still there. To cope with the feelings of frustration, anger, and guilt, practice accepting what is at this time. Bring peace to these feelings and commit to move on to provide your mom love. If you can, use mindfulness meditation to stay focus and calm your brain.", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "It is very difficult to move from being the child to be the care giver as in your situation. Your mother's behavior as you describe it is a part of this disease. As the disease progresses and she is less aware of the present including her surroundings and who she is speaking to. Your response of anger and frustration are understandable. It is also a part of the grief process as you see you mother slipping away mentally. In the moment that you feel the anger step away, take some deep breathes and give yourself time to calm down. Then return to whatever you were doing with her. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patients need a lot of support themselves. There are support groups\'a0 as well as respite services available in many areas that will help you understand the process that each of you is going through. You can get more information about Alzheimer's disease and local resources by going to www.alz.org", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "When you feel the frustration and anger building inside you have that be a trigger for you to remember a feeling that you want to experience instead of anger, frustration and guilt, for example understanding. Then say that word to yourself as you take deep breaths. But know that this is normal for caregivers/family members to have these reactions because it is also an emotional roller coaster for you. Even though it is normal it is still good to try to respond differentyl and I commend you for doing that. You also may want to look for a Caregiver Support group which will help you hear from others who also respond this way.", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "Let me first say that I am sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is a symptom of an ugly disease, but that does not make experiencing it any easier. If your mother was a sweet and understanding lady, I am sure this change in personality feels awful! On the other hand, if your relationship with her has always been difficult this can definitely open up old wounds and anger.\'a0I have walked alongside many families as they care for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. It is unfortunately common to see mothers become cruel and mean toward their daughters. In your case, it sounds like she is not directing her anger at just you. While this may feel less personal, I am sure it makes finding supportive care for her very difficult. I have several quick tips that might help you cope with this situation.\'a01. Stay tuned in to your level of anger and frustration. If you can limit the amount of time you or anyone else is with your mother you can limit the caregiver burnout. It is completely NORMAL to feel what you are feeling!! However, these are the feelings that can lead to acting out and abuse when not acknowledged. It doesn't sound like this is the case for you, but healthy boundaries and exercising respite will help with your feelings of guilt as well. So, rotate care as much as possible.2. If you find yourself arguing with your mom, STOP. Don't worry, we have all been there before. No need to feel guilty, but this only serves to agitate someone. None of us enjoys being wrong and getting into an argument. For those of us who are able to logically engage with others, sometimes this type of interaction is necessary. Alzheimer's disease has robbed your mother of her logic, therefore arguing with her will only make matters worse. Try redirecting her instead. For tips on how to do this check out Teepa Snow (teepasnow.com)3. Take care of yourself and seek support. Support groups and counseling are a great way to tend to your needs during this long journey. Caregiving can be overwhelming, lonely and heartbreaking. You don't have to go through this alone. Check out Alz.org for support groups in your area.", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
"No matter what I do my mom will almost always find something wrong with it""My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become so nasty and mean to everyone and she always asks for unrealistic silly or meaningless items. I get so frustrated and angry but then I feel guilty because I know it probably isn\'t her fault. How can I cope with feeling like this?" | "From your initial description, I would say that your mother is ""Maloriented"". In this stage of Alzheimer's individuals tend to be blaming and difficult to deal with. They may often hide or throw things away and then blame family members for this. In addition, if they are incontinent, they may blame a leaky roof or something else when they are wet. You are correct that this is not her fault, but often for family members this does not make it any easier for you to cope.\'a0I strongly suggest that you learn communication strategies that will help you to communicate with your mother in a way that lets her work through the difficulties associated with the disease. I always suggest Validation techniques to family members.In addition, you need to give yourself some kind attention and take time out from your circumstances as needed. You need to be able to center yourself and come to acceptance that this is your mother's illness that is the problem, not her and certainly not you.", | "Yes, certainly your mom's difficulty in having meaningful conversations with people results from the Alzheimer's disease process which weakens her brain function.Feeling a sense of guilt in relation to a parent, is pretty common for everyone.This is because as little kids and babies, we had a strong reliance on a parent and believing every word they sad and wishing to follow each action they ask or demand, was for the benefit of our own survival.One way of coping with your feeling of guilt is to examine it.Ask what it is you're feeling guilty about?Chances are that your sense of guilt is less due to what you're currently saying or doing to help your mom.Very likely, your guilt feeling is awakening the sense of obligation that you and all of us feel toward a parent simply because parents seem to have unquestionable power when we are very young.After all, you're thoughtful enough to write a question, so chances are great that you're already actively involved in caring for your mom.", |
How do I get my dad to understand that I don't want him to date or marry my best friend?"I have known her for years. She was dating my brother-in-law when we met. My kids think of her as their aunt. On Halloween I lost my mom to cancer. My mom and dad were still married when she passed away. My friend was there for me through that and my own cancer diagnosis. She has been a very big part of both me and my kids\' life but now last month my dad told me that he really likes my friend and wants to marry her. She\'s like a sister to me. My kids hate the idea." | "How are you measuring whether or not your dad understands your wish?Your dad understanding your wish does not mean he will necessarily follow through with what you want.Based on what you describe about your relationship to the woman in question, your discomfort with the idea of your dad marrying your friend, is reasonable.Have the conversation with your dad that includes your viewpoint, and also ask him for his impression of your feelings.Its even possible he already has considered your feelings and hasn't yet told you.It is also possible that a conversation on the subject, as well as your dad following through with his decision to marry your best friend, may develop in a very positive way.Part of the current uneasiness you feel may be from fear of how a change in circumstances and introducing new relationship dynamics might feel.Given that the person who died was your mom, maybe your emotions are not yet ready seeing your dad with a replacement spouse.\'a0Try to see the situation from the point of everyone, including yourself, who is involved in this major change. \'a0Maybe having a family discussion about acceptance and readiness to accept a new partner for your dad, would open new empathy for all of these family members.", | "That's intense. This person moving from a friend of yours to both a friend of yours and, in\'a0 a sense, your step mom is a lot. I wonder if you have let your dad know what's going through your mind with this and how it is affecting you. I can imagine that could feel awkward and emotional. Still, getting him to understand might be as simple as letting him know, in your words, how this feels from your view as well as what you wish. It may not change the outcome (he may still marry her), but your thoughts will not go unsaid and opens it up for conversation. Best luck!", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. \'a0 Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds stressful.You mentioned that you want to learn how to avoid them. I'm not sure whether you want to avoid them overall or if you would like to ask your mom to maybe only talk to you about it for a few minutes about your niece in each conversation that you have.Maybe you can connect your mom with some support. It sounds as if she has lost part of herself and/or is very stressed out and in talking with you about it because she trusts you enough for you to be someone she can speak openly, you are becoming stressed because of things that you cannot directly change. This is the presumptive based on the amount of information that you posted, but it sounds like there is a bit of a circle of stress here.I also wonder who you could talk with when you are stressed.It may be helpful to see a local mental health professional to help redefine some boundaries so you can have the type of relationship with your mother that you want without necessarily feeling stressed out by it every day.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
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