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How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Both you and your mom are in a tough spot.\'a0 She has returned to parenting after she thought she had raised her kids, and while I am sure you'd like to be supportive, you recognize that listening to her complaints really does not help her and drains you.\'a0 In addition to that, it sounds like Mom's complaining has become ""the"" conversation she has with you, leaving other, more fulfilling conversations out of your relationship.Think about what you want instead with your mom.\'a0 More time with just her?\'a0 A chance to offer true help,not just listen to complaints? When you have some idea of what you want, tell her.\'a0 You can do this kindly and respectfully, with a concern for both her and your relationship with her.\'a0 It might go something like this...""Mom, you really have your hands full.\'a0 Sis dumped your grandbaby on you and I bet this isn't how you imagined grandparenting would look.\'a0 It's got to be hard and I am not sure how I can be helpful.\'a0 Beyond that, I really miss talking to you about other things.\'a0 So, Mom, is there something I can do that would be helpful?\'a0 If not, let's talk about something else"".In addition to that, if your mom is open to other resources, help her find them - she needs some emotional support from a non-family member.Good luck to you both - and to your niece.\'a0 It is a hard situation for you all.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is difficult to implement healthy boundaries when the person is a parent or family member. I would encourage you to identify how it makes you feel after talking with your mother. Work on establishing healthy boundaries where you do not feel obligated to engage the complaining daily. Maybe setting a time limit to talk with your mother and practicing how to be assertive and not disrespect or aggressive. Helping your mother understand how you feel using \'a0""I"" statements \'a0i.e \'a0( I feel _____ when you call to talk about my sister). Maybe asking your mom how can you be supportive of her during this time other than listening to her vent. It may also be helpful for your mother to get connected with support groups to help her cope with this life change.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "Buy the book ""Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin."" Read it. Apply it.Seriously, I'm not joking. You're not wrong to ""not want to hear it anymore"" but if you don't maintain healthy boundaries, you will allow your family to make you feel guilty for ""not wanting to hear it anymore"". That's not fair to you.Give a copy to your mom, too. No, I didn't write the book nor do I have any affiliation with it - I simply recommend it because it's a wonderful book and it helped me out a lot. I recommend it to a lot of people. It should be required reading!", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds like a possible boundary issue. Boundaries are important in relationships. They are invisible lines that we will or will not cross. It is up to us to create and hold them. We have the ability to rethink them and change them as needed. It sounds like you have thought it through and would like to makes changes in the relationship between your mother and you. In the main question, you want to avoid the family member, however in the following comment, it sounds like you may just want the avoid that conversation, not so much your mother.\'a0Once we review the issue and decide what we need (create the boundary), I suggest opening talking with the person when everyone is calm (not in the middle of a stressful moment when we often are unable to focus and hear the other person). Always understanding that we had time to think about this issue and the other person has not (catching them off guard). State clearly your need. Such as ""I am not comfortable with hearing about my sister. It stresses me out. I would appreciate it if you would not bring it up anymore. If you do, I will not respond and I will change the subject "" It is important to use ""I"" statements. I feel"" this way"". I will ""do this"". We only have power over our actions. Also when we use ""you "" comments, the other person can become defensive and unable to hear what we are saying.\'a0Once we let ourselves know what we need, then let the other people know our new boundary, then it is up to us to follow through. We will make mistakes. Not follow through every time with our boundary. That is okay. Start again. It gets easier with practice. It is also appropriate to reconsider and change your boundary as needed. Just let the others know when you need to change it. Remember, they can not read our minds.\'a0I wish you much strength and hope the best for you and your family.www.parishhealthandwellness.com", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It can really be difficult to listen to someone constantly complain and it can take a lot of emotional energy to be the listening ear to someone struggling. Perhaps having a conversation with your mother about making the communication more productive in nature. It seems like your mother is obviously having some difficulties and she is stuck, therefore making you stuck listening to complaints on repeat. Explain to her the impact it has on you to listen to the complaining and not working towards changing things or coming to a level of acceptance or even making the conversation mutual, such as her being there for you. This may or may not help her to come around, but at least it can open up the conversation and be an effort towards initiating a change.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "These are common challenges that involve setting healthy boundaries with family, as well as friends and co-workers.\'a0 Therapy can help you to define, establish and enforce boundaries between self and others by being assertive.\'a0 This involves determining what things make you uncomfortable and how to communicate that with assertive, not passive, not aggressive, actions and language.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "It is important to set boundaries with those that stress you out. I encourage people to validate the other persons feelings by saying ""I am sorry you are going through this."" Then, to set the boundary bye stating what you need from them or what you are trying to do with your life to destress and that you can't be a listening ear right now. This will need to be a repeated conversation, but over time you will notice less stress.", | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", | "Sounds like it is time to set some boundaries with your mom.\'a0 You can do this by letting her know that you understand how she is feeling and you understand that she is under a tremendous amount of stress.\'a0 Validate her feelings and words.\'a0 After you do that, tell her how hearing about it daily is affecting you let.\'a0 Let her know that it is hard for you to hear how stressed she is, how hard it is you to have these daily calls.\'a0 Let her know that you are feeling stressed about her own well being.\'a0 You can then suggest that she find a therapist to speak to about how she is feeling and what she is going through.\'a0 I suggest writing out what you want to say, before you say it.\'a0 Practice saying it a few times so that it flows naturally when you do have the conversation with her.Also, when you start setting boundaries with people they don't usually like it.\'a0 They give some sort of push back either by expressing disappointment or anger towards you.\'a0 This has nothing to do with you.\'a0 This is them having a hard time hearing and accepting the boundary you are setting.\'a0 The other thing people tend to do when you set a boundary is to test it.\'a0 In this situation it might look like your mom calling you the next day as if the two of you never had the conversation.\'a0 In this situation it falls on you to set the boundary again, by having the same conversation again with her.\'a0 Over time she will accept the boundary and she will be OK with it.", |
How can I avoid family members who stress me out?"My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining but I don't want to hear it anymore." | "I just want to understand before I answer. Who exactly is complaining?", | "This sounds very stressful. \'a0Setting boundaries is important to maintaining a peace of mind. \'a0If you have not communicated your feelings to your family member, that would be a good first step. \'a0Communicate with the intent of simply expressing your feelings and your expectations going forward. \'a0Do not blame or shame because that will blur your intent. \'a0Going forward, consistently stick to your new boundaries. \'a0That may mean not picking up your phone for each call. \'a0Soon enough the message will be clear. \'a0Good luck.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am sorry to read that this happened to you. If your family is not supportive of you, this can be a huge challenge. Are you dependent on them in some way (financially, etc.)? This could affect choices you make at this point. Make sure you connect with a supportive community or people and organizations that are afforming of you and your identity. If you are unable to receive support from your family, you can lean on them if necessary. If you feel your family needs more information you can always refer them to appropriate websites and organizations that can help them to understand that this is natural and normal and learn the negative effects of non-affirming people in the life of LGBTQ+ individuals.", | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I am so sorry to hear this has been your family\'92s reaction. It is truly heartbreaking to hear. The important thing to remember is that your identity as bisexual is valid and you are worthy of love, no matter what other people say.The other therapists below have given you some great advice on how to cope with your family's reaction and how to manage the pain you are feeling. I wanted add to their responses by sharing a few resources on ways to connect with bisexual community.To know you are not alone. To see yourself reflected in others. To hear others stories of how they have coped. These things can help you stay strong during difficult times. I hope these resources can do some of that for you.Online blogs, resources, and stories: | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It sounds like your family responded out of fear! \'a0They may need some time to digest the information. \'a0This can be hard for a family to hear for several reasons but you should be proud that you had the courage to tell them. \'a0Once they realize how brave you were and how much you need their support they will come around. \'a0 Maybe you can write them a letter (for them to read without you present). \'a0In the letter, you can tell them your struggles and maybe why you decided to tell them. \'a0A letter will give them a little more time to digest the information.", | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "It's most important that you accept yourself and surround yourself with a group of friends who are kind to you and love you. Family hearing news of any kind for the first time if they are an anxious type of character, will always be tough to digest. Time is important to let it all settle in and also making sure you're taking good care of yourself... I think you're brave and I give you a lot of credit for not denying who you are -- you will inspire so many people to do the same in your life. Wishing you all the best. Gina", | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "That has to be incredibly difficult because you were very vulnerable and open about what you were feeling and I imagine the response was very hurtful.Here are a couple of things to do right now:Practice giving yourself some love. Bring your awareness to the room around you and some of the positive energy within you. As you become a bit centered, you're likely to be able to work through your emotions more easily.Surround yourself with people who do accept you. I'm hoping that you have friends or acquaintances who accept you as you are.You can also find some support here through this organization that often have events related to offering support:\'a0 | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
What can I do about my family not accepting me as bisexual?"After I told them they yelled at me." | "I'm sorry your family had such an upsetting response to your news.Maybe eventually they will come around to greater acceptance of you. \'a0 If this was the first time they heard this fact about your sexuality, the information may have overwhelmed them.It is up to the family members now to realize they handled their reaction in a way which may have upset you.Whether or not they do this, you still can be sure you did what was necessary and in your hands to tell them such key information about you.", | "There are a lot of ways one could go about handling this kind of conflict. It is hard to know which way might be advisable if we don't know quite why they would yell (or, why would they care who you choose to sleep and/or partner with to begin with?)However, it is of utmost important that you accept yourself as bisexual, and sometimes that is easier said than done. But, when you are able to get to that acceptance that you are not in the majority in society as far as sexual orientation goes, and all that comes with that, and perhaps other issues you might have with it, it will be significantly easier for you to tolerate your family's lack of acceptance, and perhaps chalk it up to a severe lack of open-mindedness.But because it is family, and we don't choose our families but are forced to deal with them for the most part for better or worse (admittedly I'm not the biggest fan of outright estrangement), processing the loss of ""the family that I hoped I had"" will also be important for you moving forward in your life. You likely will be able to realize you don't need them to accept your sexual orientation for you to live a healthy and happy life. Perhaps when they see that they can't change you, they will actually just learn to accept it.", |
Is it wrong that I don't love or even like my sister?"I don\'t love my sister. I would never wish her harm but if I could I would wish for us not to be related. Is this cruel? Why must blood mean we have to be friends? Am I being unreasonable and is there a way to fix this? I do care about her like I do every human being but I\'d rather be with my friends than be with her at all. It\'s not just a ""teenager phase."" I still love my mom and dad and I\'m very close to them. However it\'s my sister I don\'t love or have ever really liked at all." | "Hi. My guess is there's a lot of deep history here that I don't know about. Have you felt hurt by your sister in the past, or are you just 'different people'? It's a common feeling people have about siblings; that they're very different and they wouldn't choose them as friends, but most people stay connected to family unless there's a good reason not to. We don't choose our family, do we? Your feelings are normal and they don't make you cruel. If you were mean to her, that might be a different thing. It might be considered cruel to cut her out of your life for no reason, but choosing to not hang out with her a lot isn't cruel, in my mind. Perhaps you at least owe your sister kindness and respect (if she respects you), but not necessarily friendship.\'a0How you respond here is up to you; there are no rules. You get to decide how much 'family' means to you and how much time you spend with friends or family. This may shift at different times in your life though. Cutting all ties with a sister now (you haven't said you want that though) might mean she won't want to be there for you in the future when you need her. Also, how you treat your sister affects your other family members as well. There are many things to consider here, but the bottom line is that you get to surround yourself with the people you want in your life.", | "No one can force emotions. \'a0 Its fine to not love your sister.You may make some discoveries about yourself and your relationship with your sister by studying the reasons for why you're not close.Usually this has something to do with how the parents positioned the kids. \'a0Some parents obviously favor one child over another, and this would heavily influence how the kids view each other once they are grown people.The patterns of interaction set down during our growing up years stay with us until we change them consciously.Its possible your sense of not loving your sister started in your early years.You now have a chance to know your sister through your grown up eyes, or not.Either way, you still may decide you don't love her.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "What is going on in your life that brings up more sensitivity to the affair?The best way of handling your hurt is by noticing your own feelings and the current circumstances that increase your sense of pain.Concentrate on your own life and making your life the best it can be.", | "First thing that you must realize is that most people only post the ""best parts"" of their lives on Facebook, some people even go so far as to make their lives seem better or more interesting and post mostly false views of their life. Facebook is watered down, candied version of our life, you put on there only what you want people to see. The questions you should ask is ""How have I grown from this?"", Is my marriage currently in a good place? I really wish there was some form of magic that could be performed to solve peoples issues and help them sort out their emotions and troubles, however there is not, the closest we can get is by using \{time and insight\} to heal our wounds.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "First thing that you must realize is that most people only post the ""best parts"" of their lives on Facebook, some people even go so far as to make their lives seem better or more interesting and post mostly false views of their life. Facebook is watered down, candied version of our life, you put on there only what you want people to see. The questions you should ask is ""How have I grown from this?"", Is my marriage currently in a good place? I really wish there was some form of magic that could be performed to solve peoples issues and help them sort out their emotions and troubles, however there is not, the closest we can get is by using \{time and insight\} to heal our wounds.", | "A mediated safe talk session between. You and your sister.Then, you and your husband have a mediated safe talk. \'a0So both hear what you feel in the respective relationships.\'a0Possibly the last step is a mediated \'a0safe talk with sister, husband and youcoversation, in the future.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "First thing that you must realize is that most people only post the ""best parts"" of their lives on Facebook, some people even go so far as to make their lives seem better or more interesting and post mostly false views of their life. Facebook is watered down, candied version of our life, you put on there only what you want people to see. The questions you should ask is ""How have I grown from this?"", Is my marriage currently in a good place? I really wish there was some form of magic that could be performed to solve peoples issues and help them sort out their emotions and troubles, however there is not, the closest we can get is by using \{time and insight\} to heal our wounds.", | "Affairs and infidelity are tough areas to address. The power of the affair comes from the feeling of injustice that seems to have happened to you. The struggle I notice people have is with the forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that is asked of you from your partner but also you have the power to give. I assume you want to forgive or have forgiven. However, the forgetting part is difficult.\'a0It seems that image of her happiness may have triggered something in you that isn't happy. I'm not sure how often you are triggered by her but it seems there is something there you need to process. The forgetting part sadly is difficult to put past your mind. However, it's being able to see the unfortunate situation they did and be able to walkthrough it even though it's painful. I think maybe speaking with a local therapist about this as it's often difficult to process alone. Also, see how you are feeling as days go on. Do you find yourself obsessed? If so, you may need to seek a professional counselor.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "What is going on in your life that brings up more sensitivity to the affair?The best way of handling your hurt is by noticing your own feelings and the current circumstances that increase your sense of pain.Concentrate on your own life and making your life the best it can be.", | "A mediated safe talk session between. You and your sister.Then, you and your husband have a mediated safe talk. \'a0So both hear what you feel in the respective relationships.\'a0Possibly the last step is a mediated \'a0safe talk with sister, husband and youcoversation, in the future.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "What is going on in your life that brings up more sensitivity to the affair?The best way of handling your hurt is by noticing your own feelings and the current circumstances that increase your sense of pain.Concentrate on your own life and making your life the best it can be.", | "Affairs and infidelity are tough areas to address. The power of the affair comes from the feeling of injustice that seems to have happened to you. The struggle I notice people have is with the forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that is asked of you from your partner but also you have the power to give. I assume you want to forgive or have forgiven. However, the forgetting part is difficult.\'a0It seems that image of her happiness may have triggered something in you that isn't happy. I'm not sure how often you are triggered by her but it seems there is something there you need to process. The forgetting part sadly is difficult to put past your mind. However, it's being able to see the unfortunate situation they did and be able to walkthrough it even though it's painful. I think maybe speaking with a local therapist about this as it's often difficult to process alone. Also, see how you are feeling as days go on. Do you find yourself obsessed? If so, you may need to seek a professional counselor.", |
My sister and my husband had an affair"It was over years ago but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this?" | "A mediated safe talk session between. You and your sister.Then, you and your husband have a mediated safe talk. \'a0So both hear what you feel in the respective relationships.\'a0Possibly the last step is a mediated \'a0safe talk with sister, husband and youcoversation, in the future.", | "Affairs and infidelity are tough areas to address. The power of the affair comes from the feeling of injustice that seems to have happened to you. The struggle I notice people have is with the forgiveness. Forgiveness is something that is asked of you from your partner but also you have the power to give. I assume you want to forgive or have forgiven. However, the forgetting part is difficult.\'a0It seems that image of her happiness may have triggered something in you that isn't happy. I'm not sure how often you are triggered by her but it seems there is something there you need to process. The forgetting part sadly is difficult to put past your mind. However, it's being able to see the unfortunate situation they did and be able to walkthrough it even though it's painful. I think maybe speaking with a local therapist about this as it's often difficult to process alone. Also, see how you are feeling as days go on. Do you find yourself obsessed? If so, you may need to seek a professional counselor.", |
I'm scared to tell my family that I'm bisexual"My parents seem okay with other sexualities but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about bisexuality they say things like \'they'll do anything\' or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am bisexual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them." | "Coming out to family members can cause a lot of anxiety. However, \'a0although I cannot promise what their reaction will be, the benefit is that you will no longer have to hide who you are. Perhaps researching or getting information on bisexuality can help your family understand what it truly is to be bisexual. Many times, \'a0people are just not educated on certain things.", | "Perhaps you are not ready to come out to your parents.\'a0 Often times\'a0our readiness is not dependent on what others' will say or how they\'a0react.\'a0But more so dependent on\'a0how emotionally prepared we are to deal with others' reactions.\'a0 It\'a0may be\'a0beneficial for you\'a0to play out each possible\'a0scenario and\'a0conclusion (eg. your parents being supportive vs. your parents being disappointed and so on). How are you prepared to deal with the outcome?\'a0 You\'a0may also seek help through counselors, support groups and/or individuals you know that have\'a0dealt with similar situations to help you prepare to discuss\'a0this with your parents.\'a0\'a0All the best!", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "What a great question! Marriage (or any long-term committed romantic relationship) is never easy. Ups & downs, doubts and fights are a part of it just\'a0the same as the wonderful, tender, blissful moments of connection. Recognizing that hardships are normal and something to work through is a big part of the healthy attitude partners in lasting relationships share.\'a0Some degree of conflict is not something to be scared of or a sign it's time to break up\'a0as long as all parties involved feel respected.\'a0Expressing your needs and wants in a respectful, not accusing manner will increase the chances that your loved one will actually listen, empathize with your perspective and will be\'a0more open\'a0to finding solutions to your problems together. Working as a team to find solutions to problems you encounter is a much better approach than trying to persuade your partner that you are right, while they are most certainly\'a0wrong. Shutting your partner out or\'a0allowing resentment and contempt to creep into your relationships is definitely a warning sign that things may\'a0not be going the way you want anymore.\'a0As long as you both agree that you want to be in that relationship (i.e., are committed to it) and you have a growth mindset (""we will learn from this and grow together to be a better couple in the end""), the foundation of your partnership is strong. What else?\'a0Making time\'a0for each other, whether it's being playful, having fun or enjoying\'a0intimate moments\'a0together is also an important part of\'a0ensuring a good balance of positive to negative experiences, that will only strenghten your bond. Good luck!", | "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\'a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\'a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "A resource I think is helpful to learn more about ""what makes a good marriage"" and steps toward doing so is Dr. John Gottman's book: ""Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.""\'a0Dr. Gottman is a leader in this field and has done extensive studies with couples to determine what behaviors are key in making a marriage work and what behaviors could predict divorce. I think this book might be a good start if you're wanting to learn more about how to have a long lasting relationship.", | "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\'a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\'a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "It's surprising how many folks talk too much on the subject;It's the same three things that make all relationships work:HonestyTrustRespect(in that order)Most folks fall down on the first :) (*coughcough* THERAPISTS!\'a0 Heh heh heh...)", | "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\'a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\'a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "Thank you for your question.\'a0 A good Marriage is one that takes hard work and commitment.\'a0 Being in a good marriage does not always mean good times because let's face it; we are dealing with 2 unique individuals with differences.\'a0 A good spouse or partner knows to be patient and accepting.\'a0 Knowing each other's strengths and imperfections and working with them to lift each other is how you strengthen your love for one another.\'a0 A good spouse sacrifices their needs to see the other person happy.\'a0 Don't get me wrong, that also means that it is important to have alone time to re-charge and re-focus our purpose in the marriage.\'a0 In all, there is not a magic recipe for a successful marriage, but with time, work and purpose one can have a happy one.", | "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\'a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\'a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "In addition to suggesting this great read from 2016 (but feels timeless): | "This answer varies based on you relationship. However, I do believe their are some basic fundamental areas that are beneficial for a healthy marriage:1.) Effective Communication2.) Trust3.) Love/Passion4.) Loyalty.\'a05.) Unconditional Positive Regard.\'a0Everyone has their favorite qualities they feel best fit a marriage. However, these are what I think are great starting points.", |
What makes a good marriage?What makes a healthy marriage last? | "I appreciate your question.The answer of what makes a ""good marriage"" are as varied as there are marriages.Basically, similarity, like mindedness in beliefs and values, makes a good marriage.\'a0The best chance of getting along with someone on a longterm basis is when two people see life and the world in similar ways.Even though ""opposites attract"" this is a short lived dynamic which breaks apart when there aren't enough similarities in common between the partners.", | "In my mind, a healthy marriage has two participants, meaning both people participate equally in the intimate connection of marriage. An unequal participation comes in many forms, such as one person checking out of conversations when it becomes emotional, or speaking over and for each other in these conversations. Couple\'92s should strive for engagement and support, but doing it in a way that works for each person individually. I hope this helps.", |
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