subreddit stringclasses 7
values | author stringlengths 3 20 | id stringlengths 5 7 | content stringlengths 67 30.4k | score int64 0 140k |
|---|---|---|---|---|
programmerhumor | SZ4L4Y | i9wzyey | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I use my mouse to input my programs as handwritten text.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 346 |
programmerhumor | ratamarsu | i9wnzkj | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Yes, let's move to command line<|eor|><|soopr|>Linuxmasterrace<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 279 |
programmerhumor | bruhbruhthatsbruh | i9wq7g6 | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>so true, it would be a lot easier if people call themselves as vim keybindings.
like, "Hey, :wq, how're you doin' "<|eor|><|sor|>"Hey 'Escape, Escape, Escape, Escape, Escape :wq', how're you doing?"<|eor|><|sor|>That's more like it<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 276 |
programmerhumor | RolesG | i9wrnpn | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Oh, hi Json<|eor|><|sor|>Oh hi...
*what was his name again?*
*oh right, .JSON*
"Hi, .JSON"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 253 |
programmerhumor | hasanyoneseenmymom | i9xd95a | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>so true, it would be a lot easier if people call themselves as vim keybindings.
like, "Hey, :wq, how're you doin' "<|eor|><|sor|>"Hey 'Escape, Escape, Escape, Escape, Escape :wq', how're you doing?"<|eor|><|sor|>How do you generate a random string?
Put a windows user in vim and ask him to quit<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 226 |
programmerhumor | Vermathorax | i9x65oi | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>so true, it would be a lot easier if people call themselves as vim keybindings.
like, "Hey, :wq, how're you doin' "<|eor|><|sor|>There is a car which parks down the street from me, next to a church, with a ":w saves" bumper sticker.
My gf does not understand why I think this is amazingly funny.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 196 |
programmerhumor | NikhilP99 | i9wzb07 | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's one of the best vim jokes I've ever experienced<|eor|><|sor|>Because you don't know how Vim's interface works? Or because you didn't experience a lot of Vim jokes?<|eor|><|sor|>Because most of the jokes are just about "not able to exit vim".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 174 |
programmerhumor | IskarJarak88 | i9ws3du | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Yes, let's move to command line<|eor|><|soopr|>Linuxmasterrace<|eoopr|><|sor|>More like Linux sudo race<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 167 |
programmerhumor | Fry98 | i9x70ho | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I use my mouse to input my programs as handwritten text.<|eor|><|sor|>Just buy a tablet like a real programmer.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 150 |
programmerhumor | SnappGamez | i9wrtq9 | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>the vim keybindings dont take that much space
what takes up space is trying to remember the entirety of the Rust standard library<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 139 |
programmerhumor | 033653337357 | i9wptsa | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>"Yes, and that's why I use Emacs."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 134 |
programmerhumor | odraencoded | i9x9cen | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Aren't you sick of programming with the keyboard?
Introducing Mython: a Python IDE that you allows you to program entirely by drag-dropping statements and drag-dropping libraries. Available for iPhone and Android!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 131 |
programmerhumor | Veltan | i9xe9iy | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Aren't you sick of programming with the keyboard?
Introducing Mython: a Python IDE that you allows you to program entirely by drag-dropping statements and drag-dropping libraries. Available for iPhone and Android!<|eor|><|sor|>Shake to indent.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 120 |
programmerhumor | khroh | i9x0fm3 | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Except vscode and also every IDE have tons of crazy keybindings to do lots of functions, and also most of them literally have a Vim mode...<|eor|><|sor|>My dude took it personally<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 108 |
programmerhumor | axlwi | i9wtaig | <|sols|><|sot|>I'm more of a nano kinda guy myself<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7tqdz8zkjk191.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Oh, hi Json<|eor|><|sor|>Oh hi...
*what was his name again?*
*oh right, .JSON*
"Hi, .JSON"<|eor|><|sor|>"No no . is my last name,
It's JSON."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 103 |
programmerhumor | alexander_the_dead | uq0isb | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35,213 |
programmerhumor | a_devious_compliance | i8o5048 | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,935 |
programmerhumor | alexander_the_dead | i8o6pv0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|soopr|>And then they do fill it ASAP, just not with you.<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,659 |
programmerhumor | a_devious_compliance | i8o6wrm | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|soopr|>And then they do fill it ASAP, just not with you.<|eoopr|><|sor|>Surely they did. Buy I expect at lest a mail saying so.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 543 |
programmerhumor | Secret_Jellyfish320 | i8o6mdf | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Thats why I always apply before the weekend, So I can actually tell my mind to fuck off, they are enjoying the weekend and please let us too<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 453 |
programmerhumor | iLovePi_ | i8o589c | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Im in a similar situation. I feel this.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 304 |
programmerhumor | bob1689321 | i8ol7qv | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|soopr|>And then they do fill it ASAP, just not with you.<|eoopr|><|sor|>Surely they did. Buy I expect at lest a mail saying so.<|eor|><|sor|>Blows my mind that companies don't have all the candidates on a mailing list and send out an automated mail once they're rejected<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 247 |
programmerhumor | nuncamaiseuvoudormir | i8oefml | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>You should do an asynchronous interview because there is no need to wait for the answer<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 241 |
programmerhumor | bananasplitpenis | i8ohn3k | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Im in a similar situation. I feel this.<|eor|><|sor|>Two non technical interviews, a two hour test, a technical interview, all passed. Now one more technical interview. I'm burned out.
If I don't get the job I'm going to take a break, regroup, and do this again later!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 232 |
programmerhumor | DMoney159 | i8o84oc | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|soopr|>And then they do fill it ASAP, just not with you.<|eoopr|><|sor|>Surely they did. Buy I expect at lest a mail saying so.<|eor|><|sor|>You're not getting any mail, and don't call me Shirley!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 207 |
programmerhumor | Kn_Km | i8o8ci5 | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>What code test do they in interviews in your countries? at least in latin america is always a crud with an interface (for web dev position), it is a bit time consuming so it feels bad when you don't hear any answer, because it make you think that you wasted your time for nothing<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 196 |
programmerhumor | FPiN9XU3K1IT | i8ongag | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|soopr|>And then they do fill it ASAP, just not with you.<|eoopr|><|sor|>Surely they did. Buy I expect at lest a mail saying so.<|eor|><|sor|>Blows my mind that companies don't have all the candidates on a mailing list and send out an automated mail once they're rejected<|eor|><|sor|>They actually started doing that here in Germany. I got a response for about 90% of the job applications I sent last year. The weird part is that the ones who *didn't* send a rejection notice were also the only ones who actually gave me an interview.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 121 |
programmerhumor | Isgortio | i8ocyck | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>What code test do they in interviews in your countries? at least in latin america is always a crud with an interface (for web dev position), it is a bit time consuming so it feels bad when you don't hear any answer, because it make you think that you wasted your time for nothing<|eor|><|sor|>I had one where I had to implement a YouTube API into a webpage displaying a particular video. I had another where I was given some really obscure task and then I had to go through it on a video call with someone later on, can't even remember what it was. Both had no response afterwards :(<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 118 |
programmerhumor | Laearo | i8oslru | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>What code test do they in interviews in your countries? at least in latin america is always a crud with an interface (for web dev position), it is a bit time consuming so it feels bad when you don't hear any answer, because it make you think that you wasted your time for nothing<|eor|><|sor|>I had one where I had to implement a YouTube API into a webpage displaying a particular video. I had another where I was given some really obscure task and then I had to go through it on a video call with someone later on, can't even remember what it was. Both had no response afterwards :(<|eor|><|sor|>Congrats, you got played. They didn't want to hire someone, they just had a task they thought they could trick an interviewee into doing for free<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 102 |
programmerhumor | PlanetGuy | i8olxys | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Also in the last interview they said "We will call you quickly because we need to fill this possition ASAP".<|eor|><|sor|>Very common. Companies looking for people ASAP, but have an internal process that can take a month or longer. Some companies who are surprised and pissed when programmers say no because another company was faster to offer a deal.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 97 |
programmerhumor | bananasplitpenis | i8oo2e6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Im in a similar situation. I feel this.<|eor|><|sor|>Two non technical interviews, a two hour test, a technical interview, all passed. Now one more technical interview. I'm burned out.
If I don't get the job I'm going to take a break, regroup, and do this again later!<|eor|><|sor|>Burn out is real!<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Funny thing is, in a way you're right. In the technical interview the manager asked me how I'd handle one specific case in programming. That case is not even close to their business. So I asked him, where did they face this issue that makes it relevant? He got flustered and changed the question. I told him that no, I will answer the question, I was just surprised by it.
Now that I think of it. They don't really know what the hell they're doing!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 93 |
programmerhumor | LEAVEKYRIEALONE | i8oimg1 | <|sols|><|sot|>Anytime now...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/i2v3leps9lz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Im in a similar situation. I feel this.<|eor|><|sor|>Two non technical interviews, a two hour test, a technical interview, all passed. Now one more technical interview. I'm burned out.
If I don't get the job I'm going to take a break, regroup, and do this again later!<|eor|><|sor|>Burn out is real!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 89 |
programmerhumor | computery | 6l9x91 | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35,211 |
programmerhumor | Anticode | djs859q | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 7,231 |
programmerhumor | glydy | djs8hmo | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>You should write programmer bedtime stories.
_The tests all passed and everyone lived happily ever after_<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,953 |
programmerhumor | Stimonk | djs8fle | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>This is diabolical.
We were never given enough time to check our projects and user validation checks was always deprioritized for trivial cosmetic changes on the UI/client-side.
Any time we saw errors in the data - which would usually be far too late into the launch of the project, we'd get anxiety attacks that something worse is about to creep up.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,480 |
programmerhumor | Purp | djsfini | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For age gates that don't set the minimum birth year to `$currentYear-100` I *always* set my birth year to 1900. My hope is it fucks the stats up and there's a marketing meeting somewhere where a suit is pointing at a chart saying "we just *have* to do more to cater to our 117 y/o users!"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,031 |
programmerhumor | SteveBIRK | djsgc0b | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>You should write programmer bedtime stories.
_The tests all passed and everyone lived happily ever after_<|eor|><|sor|>/r/programme_irl<|eor|><|sor|>> tests all passed
/r/absolutely_not_programme_irl
<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 891 |
programmerhumor | rbt321 | djse53j | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>Live demos always fail.
However, a demo on controlled data (a snapshot of production from a week earlier) in a controlled environment where you've run it successfully before is indistinguishable from live and guaranteed to have the results you expect.
Literally create a VM from production data, snapshot it, do tests (document exact statements), restore to snapshot, repeat once to ensure your notes are correct, restore to snapshot again, and now do the "live" demo.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 811 |
programmerhumor | MikeTheInfidel | djsj0ti | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>This is diabolical.
We were never given enough time to check our projects and user validation checks was always deprioritized for trivial cosmetic changes on the UI/client-side.
Any time we saw errors in the data - which would usually be far too late into the launch of the project, we'd get anxiety attacks that something worse is about to creep up.<|eor|><|sor|>> We were never given enough time to check our projects and user validation checks was always deprioritized for trivial cosmetic changes on the UI/client-side.
story of my goddamn life...<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 718 |
programmerhumor | ProgramTheWorld | djsebjv | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>> Re: SPCU830928 \\
For anyone curious it means "Please send SPCU830928 \\ Order now!"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 684 |
programmerhumor | If_You_Only_Knew | djs9k95 | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Sometimes i don't sanitize my inputs just to play along with this guy.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 661 |
programmerhumor | ProgramTheWorld | djsecm4 | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>You should write programmer bedtime stories.
_The tests all passed and everyone lived happily ever after_<|eor|><|sor|>/r/programme_irl<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 574 |
programmerhumor | 007T | djsl2wn | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For age gates that don't set the minimum birth year to `$currentYear-100` I *always* set my birth year to 1900. My hope is it fucks the stats up and there's a marketing meeting somewhere where a suit is pointing at a chart saying "we just *have* to do more to cater to our 117 y/o users!"<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>How would you know if they died? Would you decrease the age limit? <|eor|><|sor|>You set up a cron job to periodically download Wikipedia's page about the oldest living person and then use regex to scrape the html for their birth date. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 534 |
programmerhumor | SpacecraftX | djsh2fx | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>Live demos always fail.
However, a demo on controlled data (a snapshot of production from a week earlier) in a controlled environment where you've run it successfully before is indistinguishable from live and guaranteed to have the results you expect.
Literally create a VM from production data, snapshot it, do tests (document exact statements), restore to snapshot, repeat once to ensure your notes are correct, restore to snapshot again, and now do the "live" demo.<|eor|><|sor|>University open day in the Games lab. The like second best student in the class decides he's going to show off his graphics project to some potential newbs. Doesn't work. Finds out after they leave he forgot to build the dependencies because it was the first time it had been run on that image.
Live demos, man.
Every. Damn. Time.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 426 |
programmerhumor | Anticode | djsji1g | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>And that's why you should use python3<|eor|><|sor|>It was python3 actually.
You know what is to blame here? The Microsoft Office / Outlook API.
Imagine: Python is a battle-hardened, proven special forces soldier with over 400 confirmed scrapings and several-dozen Bayesian analysis missions under his belt. He's gruff, he's a man of few words. He smokes a cigarette indoors if he wants to. People let him because he gets the job done. After a briefing, he grumbles and says, "In English, please." But he knows what you meant. He says that to make you feel better. He's a detective now and has picked up some people skills.
Enter Microsoft office suite API: No one is sure how he got the job. He's an out of shape intern that somehow got lucky due to some sort of gravitational anomaly the day of the fitness test. Rumor has it that a coffee spill from the proctor resulted in an automatic 'B' on his final exam. Somehow, he is partnered up with Python.
They head out to the mission and Python is spending 80% of his energy and time just trying to keep ol' Micro out of trouble. The guy keeps running into barbed wire for some reason. There wasn't even barbed wire *there* a moment ago. Did he bring it with him? Oh, he did. Why, Micro, why? This is a scouting mission. Now he's fallen in a puddle and thrown out an error message. Python laughs, but turns around to pick him up anyway. They're a team now, right?
After weeks of this Python has started to *get it*. He realized that Micro is unable to be trained. He's just... not trainable. So now Python knows to work *around* Micro. Sneak mission? Better to just let Junior stumble into, and somehow break down the door. "Surprise!" Scout mission? Don't share the directions with Micro, somehow he'll find the sector and accidentally take a photo containing the target information trying to access google maps. Assault? Micro will somehow fall through the skylight, killing the mafia boss by falling on him. How'd he even get up there? Whatever.
To Python it's alright, because the mission was accomplished *somehow*. All he can do is sit back and try to focus or take advantage the chaos inherent in his partner.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 425 |
programmerhumor | nilpointer | djs9b3z | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I wrote this super complex email scanning, sorting, excel, wang 'em jang 'em, analytic program in python. It would be the first time my bosses had ever seen the total overview of one of our department's in and output (since each response was between dozens of people and the threads never followed up on).
I tried not to hype up the program, it was one of my first after all, but even in its most basic form it was exactly what was needed for this project. People got excited, I got excited. Later that week I had a big meeting with my boss and his boss in one of their offices.
I bring my laptop in and confidently sit down, open it up, and say something grandiose like, "Behold" ...and suddenly the program, the one I meticulously tested on the very inbox I was targeting, suddenly wouldn't work. I started debugging right there, but I couldn't figure out the problem. Him and his boss are just staring at me while I'm leaning over my laptop typing feverishly, my screen looking like the matrix or some shit.
I'm in "programmer time" now, so what felt like 30 awkward seconds was probably closer to a minute or more considering one of them, in the apparent boring silence, clears his throat. Finally I throw in the towel, admit defeat, and try to explain that these sort of bugs happen sometimes. I explained what was *supposed* to happen; they just nodded their heads solemnly. I was then informed that this project was being closely followed by the company president, but they'd reschedule *that* meeting for next week.
No pressure...
Later that afternoon I was debugging again. I saw that it was crashing while "reading" emails, but the error code didn't show which one. I had `print` statements everywhere, but I couldn't see which email was causing the problem or more importantly *why*. In desperation I started scrolling through the inbox manually... *Thousands* of emails, but the best I could do is narrow down a date. The poisoned email was somewhere between February 14th and March 22nd - still about a thousand emails.
Finally... I see it.
>####Re: SPCU830928 \\
What... in the living fuck is a Chinese email doing in here? We don't deal with Chinese customers. I look closely, this was one of the kind of erroneous emails my project would try to detect and defeat. It was coming to/from the wrong department! And it turned out to be the Achilles heel.
Suddenly: `Ctrl+T`'s are flying, I've got a dozen stackoverflow tabs open in mere seconds. Uni-fuckin'-code, eh? Chinese character pack, ah? Screw it. It's all going in the program.
`import` `import` `import`
I run the program again. In my bug-hunt I must have inadvertently optimized it. It ran flawlessly. I filled an email with characters from every major language I could find in google translate. The program digested them all.
One final fail safe was needed though. I only needed the program to *look* like it was working, give me some usable data just for demonstration. Another error in front of the president would be bad - would he even understand? I cracked my knuckles, grimaced, and began to type. `try:`, `except Exception:`. I clenched my jaw and continued, `pass`. It had to be done. I had to be safe.
I glanced at the calendar... Three days. Three days until redemption. I find the meeting invite and click `Accept`.<|eor|><|sor|>This is wonderfully written. Let me guess, there was a TODO about removing the try/except "in the future."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 399 |
programmerhumor | InconsiderateBastard | djs8i6a | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I hope that guy steps on a Lego.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 382 |
programmerhumor | boarhog | djsl1iu | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Here's those characters for easy copy and paste:
<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 307 |
programmerhumor | BEST_RAPPER_ALIVE | djsoucu | <|sols|><|sot|>why are people so mean<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/29c679dlan7z.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>This is diabolical.
We were never given enough time to check our projects and user validation checks was always deprioritized for trivial cosmetic changes on the UI/client-side.
Any time we saw errors in the data - which would usually be far too late into the launch of the project, we'd get anxiety attacks that something worse is about to creep up.<|eor|><|sor|>> We were never given enough time to check our projects and user validation checks was always deprioritized for trivial cosmetic changes on the UI/client-side.
story of my goddamn life...<|eor|><|sor|>That happens to every dev. It's because management doesn't know how computers work.
User validation checks are not the least bit trivial. They are crucial.
<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 302 |
programmerhumor | Xaneris47 | ykw24g | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35,129 |
programmerhumor | HoraceGravyJug | iuve5nh | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,929 |
programmerhumor | jddddddddddd | iuvd31x | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|><PEDANTRY>that image looks more like recursion than an infinite loop to me..</PEDANTRY><|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 804 |
programmerhumor | Zestyclose_Leg2227 | iuvt9ep | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|sor|>If you get bored, just flip random memory addresses until you turn that true into a false<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 529 |
programmerhumor | turtlechop | iuvh1oe | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>But this meme loop only repeats 5 times <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 433 |
programmerhumor | CautiousRice | iuvddeg | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|><PEDANTRY>that image looks more like recursion than an infinite loop to me..</PEDANTRY><|eor|><|sor|>It's more of a for loop. Ends after the 5th iteration.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 238 |
programmerhumor | Nzgrim | iuvllg9 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|sor|>Real men use their power of prophecy to account for the power outage that will happen at just the right moment.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 226 |
programmerhumor | _PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ | iuvlyfi | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|><PEDANTRY>that image looks more like recursion than an infinite loop to me..</PEDANTRY><|eor|><|sor|>Also `break` is a statement, not an operator.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 209 |
programmerhumor | HexDecimal | iuvnks4 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|> def my_function():
while True:
my_function()<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 167 |
programmerhumor | smokesick | iuvqn1a | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>But this meme loop only repeats 5 times <|eor|><|sor|>Their stack is inferior<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 150 |
programmerhumor | OSPFv3 | iuwjsi7 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|sor|>If you get bored, just flip random memory addresses until you turn that true into a false<|eor|><|sor|>while bogo<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 147 |
programmerhumor | rwhitisissle | iuw7igu | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|><PEDANTRY>that image looks more like recursion than an infinite loop to me..</PEDANTRY><|eor|><|sor|>Also `break` is a statement, not an operator.<|eor|><|sor|>This meme was made by an 18 year old getting a C in Intro to Java Programming. I guarantee it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 118 |
programmerhumor | PhyterNL | iuvdpxp | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|><PEDANTRY>that image looks more like recursion than an infinite loop to me..</PEDANTRY><|eor|><|sor|>It's more of a for loop. Ends after the 5th iteration.<|eor|><|sor|>Now THAT'S pedantry!
Not complaining, praising. I'm giving you the I Voted reward, which has absolutely no relevance whatsoever but it's something.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 107 |
programmerhumor | TheOhNoNotAgain | iuvrggk | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|> int i = 0;
try {
while (true) {
i++;
if (i > 5) i = 1 / 0;
}
} catch (Throwable t) {}<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 86 |
programmerhumor | legends_never_die_1 | iuvywvs | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|> def my_function():
while True:
my_function()<|eor|><|sor|>that looks so cursed. i think its the same as if you dont write the while loop.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 84 |
programmerhumor | Harmonic_Gear | iuve1ug | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>anakin is an embedded programmer?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 81 |
programmerhumor | denkthomas | iuwsxi2 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|sor|>If you get bored, just flip random memory addresses until you turn that true into a false<|eor|><|sor|>maybe one of those cosmic rays can help<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 63 |
programmerhumor | Einfach0nur0Baum | iuvw16o | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>But this meme loop only repeats 5 times <|eor|><|sor|>The meme crashed<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 57 |
programmerhumor | _DarkCrystal_ | iuvw0an | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|>Only idiots need break. Real men have the patience to wait for the loop to finish.<|eor|><|sor|>Only idiots need to wait for the loop to finish. Real man are waiting for buffer overflow or out of memory errors<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 53 |
programmerhumor | w3ird00 | iuw0421 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why is a program hanging?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/umlpc4oyzox91.png<|eol|><|sor|> int i = 0;
try {
while (true) {
i++;
if (i > 5) i = 1 / 0;
}
} catch (Throwable t) {}<|eor|><|sor|>Mind explaining this code?<|eor|><|sor|>Dividing something by 0 will throw an exception. They are catching the exception hence the execution flow will break out of the while loop into the exception handler inside the catch scope.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 51 |
programmerhumor | khayalan-mathew | oat1m3 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35,120 |
programmerhumor | Garrosh | h3jq9o6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>LGTM<|eor|><|sor|>Programmer: If there's something wrong they'll catch it in the code review.
Co-workers: We're pretty sure if there's something wrong the QA will catch it.
QA: Seems fine. If there's something wrong I bet the user will notify us.
User: What was this thing supposed to do? I bet the customer will warn us if something goes wrong.
Customer: I see numbers here. This checks out. What could go wrong, anyways? This was made by professionals.
Rocket: So Anyway, I started exploding.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,838 |
programmerhumor | alexanderpas | h3jkde3 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>How many seperate commits?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,726 |
programmerhumor | mhhelsinki | h3jjmq0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>LGTM<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,373 |
programmerhumor | kiro14893 | h3jmy1v | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>When you include the node_modules when commiting.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,271 |
programmerhumor | Ghost_Redditor_ | h3jlq3r | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>How many seperate commits?<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>"new commit"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,260 |
programmerhumor | WeeziMonkey | h3jo69n | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>How many seperate commits?<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>"new commit"<|eor|><|sor|>"now really actually finally works this time"
Followed by
"Fixed typo"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,187 |
programmerhumor | TheDefalt8 | h3jmkr6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Initial commit but fixed all bugs.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,029 |
programmerhumor | athonis | h3jobaa | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Initial commit but fixed all bugs.<|eor|><|sor|>Initial commit: project finished<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 800 |
programmerhumor | KKeff | h3jky5f | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Just find 2 indentation errors, change some for to foreach and propose a name change. LGTM afer that.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 514 |
programmerhumor | WeeziMonkey | h3joaxr | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>When you include the node_modules when commiting.<|eor|><|sor|>I made a single page with React in just a few hours and that only needed to show some simple data coming in from a web socket, 280 mb of node modules wtf<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 461 |
programmerhumor | glemnar | h3jmijx | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Good meme. I have no problem telling people to take it back to the drawing board with smaller PRs though.
Definitely one of the first things I teach early career devs, immediately after if youre spinning wheels for longer than an hour, ask for help<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 436 |
programmerhumor | xkufix | h3jyp36 | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>LGTM<|eor|><|sor|>Programmer: If there's something wrong they'll catch it in the code review.
Co-workers: We're pretty sure if there's something wrong the QA will catch it.
QA: Seems fine. If there's something wrong I bet the user will notify us.
User: What was this thing supposed to do? I bet the customer will warn us if something goes wrong.
Customer: I see numbers here. This checks out. What could go wrong, anyways? This was made by professionals.
Rocket: So Anyway, I started exploding.<|eor|><|sor|>> this was made by professionals
This made me laugh way harder than it should<|eor|><|sor|>Professional just means I get paid for it, not that I'm good at it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 429 |
programmerhumor | CreativeCarbon | h3jk2rm | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>\**skims for typos*\*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 406 |
programmerhumor | HoverForSafari | h3jusdy | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Initial commit but fixed all bugs.<|eor|><|sor|>Initial commit: project finished<|eor|><|sor|>#waterfall<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 274 |
programmerhumor | 8Humans | h3jm6vl | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>How many seperate commits?<|eor|><|sor|>"Fixed bug" is all to be read there.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 268 |
programmerhumor | CulturalActuator | h3k7mbj | <|sols|><|sot|>Review, please!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/ll7f77rl7d871.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>When you include the node_modules when commiting.<|eor|><|sor|>I made a single page with React in just a few hours and that only needed to show some simple data coming in from a web socket, 280 mb of node modules wtf<|eor|><|sor|>The node modules are for the react framework to start up, also you cab look up pnpm it let you reuse modules<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Those things are dope, not ridiculous. You know what's *not* dope? Manually supporting a dozen browser versions, with no coding practices, without any types -- just rawdogging fucking JS spaghetti.
I've done all that. It fucking sucks. I'll take boilerplates using tons of tools, thank you very much.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 244 |
programmerhumor | Flabrocc | 12xp5bu | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35,053 |
programmerhumor | DSGandalf | jhjk8rx | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I wish I could smile like that while showing my code<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,736 |
programmerhumor | jfcarr | jhjirfx | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Looks like we missed an edge case during testing.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,206 |
programmerhumor | Aurori_Swe | jhjurru | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I wish I could smile like that while showing my code<|eor|><|sor|>I've had my company forcing me to showcase a mock-up of a site we were building, I felt the consultants we hired were a bit slow so I basically build the scaffolding for the site and filled it with content with the roughest coding ever that just worked but was anything than pretty.
Management: Great, could you showcase that to the client while the team builds the real site?
Me: Uhn, sure but that would be lying and I'm not sure it would be beneficial to us when we don't make any progress from a user perspective while we make the code more efficient and cleaner.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 434 |
programmerhumor | DontActDrunk | jhjsao0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Team xyz isn't done yet so just pretend this api call returns exactly what we need here.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 374 |
programmerhumor | dethmstr | jhjqowj | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Looks like we missed an edge case during testing.<|eor|><|sor|>Edge case? This case was well within normal use and you just glanced over it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 297 |
programmerhumor | AltruisticDetail6266 | jhka4a0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I wish I could smile like that while showing my code<|eor|><|sor|>I've had my company forcing me to showcase a mock-up of a site we were building, I felt the consultants we hired were a bit slow so I basically build the scaffolding for the site and filled it with content with the roughest coding ever that just worked but was anything than pretty.
Management: Great, could you showcase that to the client while the team builds the real site?
Me: Uhn, sure but that would be lying and I'm not sure it would be beneficial to us when we don't make any progress from a user perspective while we make the code more efficient and cleaner.<|eor|><|sor|>Management: do it, we'll worry about the lying part - it's just coming out of your mouth, don't worry.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 253 |
programmerhumor | funfwf | jhk4546 | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>"ah yes that is fixed in the upcoming sprint"
*Furiously takes a note*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 188 |
programmerhumor | nerdinator__ | jhkgni9 | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Yes we are aware of this issue and have a ticket for it in the next sprint. Ignore that the ticket says it was created 2 seconds ago, that is a bug on Jira's end.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 138 |
programmerhumor | DontActDrunk | jhk3mvu | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Team xyz isn't done yet so just pretend this api call returns exactly what we need here.<|eor|><|sor|>Or even better. Huh, the thing didnt return correctly, anyways.<|eor|><|sor|>Or my new favorite terrible thing: returning 200 but putting an error message in the response body.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 105 |
programmerhumor | Aurori_Swe | jhktmn3 | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I wish I could smile like that while showing my code<|eor|><|sor|>I've had my company forcing me to showcase a mock-up of a site we were building, I felt the consultants we hired were a bit slow so I basically build the scaffolding for the site and filled it with content with the roughest coding ever that just worked but was anything than pretty.
Management: Great, could you showcase that to the client while the team builds the real site?
Me: Uhn, sure but that would be lying and I'm not sure it would be beneficial to us when we don't make any progress from a user perspective while we make the code more efficient and cleaner.<|eor|><|sor|>Did management ask you to present it as a mock-up of the site or as a version of the site itself?<|eor|><|sor|>They asked me to present it as "this is where we're at currently". No mention of this being an entirely different code base and bullshit hacked logic.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 99 |
programmerhumor | Rudecles | jhjnr4t | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>The only think about that kick in the end is usually if causes the kids to come back and punch me in the face.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 94 |
programmerhumor | filetmidnoon | jhlgxlm | <|sols|><|sot|>Pretend it didn't happen<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xpn3fu55vva1.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I wish I could smile like that while showing my code<|eor|><|sor|>I've had my company forcing me to showcase a mock-up of a site we were building, I felt the consultants we hired were a bit slow so I basically build the scaffolding for the site and filled it with content with the roughest coding ever that just worked but was anything than pretty.
Management: Great, could you showcase that to the client while the team builds the real site?
Me: Uhn, sure but that would be lying and I'm not sure it would be beneficial to us when we don't make any progress from a user perspective while we make the code more efficient and cleaner.<|eor|><|sor|>Management: do it, we'll worry about the lying part - it's just coming out of your mouth, don't worry.<|eor|><|sor|>Ah, the old 'smoke and mirrors' approach to project management. He should just tell the client the site is a prototype and they'll be so impressed with your futuristic tech-speak that they won't even notice the rough edges.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 88 |
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