subreddit stringclasses 7 values | author stringlengths 3 20 | id stringlengths 5 7 | content stringlengths 67 30.4k | score int64 0 140k |
|---|---|---|---|---|
programmerhumor | NicNoletree | icpag1q | <|sols|><|sot|>Yep, This is me.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/p2wsv4ssa6691.png<|eol|><|sor|>The bald guy knows where all the money actually went<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 262 |
programmerhumor | President_Xi_ | uqwia1 | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,993 |
programmerhumor | DirectControlAssumed | i8tvn1x | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job in the industry was working as a database developer. First week I deleted \~50k records from a prod database. Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?". Still makes me lol to this day.<|eor|><|sor|>> Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?".
I'm pretty sure he had a bet with someone on the number.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,058 |
programmerhumor | Metasenodvor | i8tixuc | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>heh happened to me as well, on the 3rd day of work.
people were chill and everyone was laughing, fun times<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,455 |
programmerhumor | Gankus_Aurelius | i8tzfpw | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job in the industry was working as a database developer. First week I deleted \~50k records from a prod database. Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?". Still makes me lol to this day.<|eor|><|sor|>> Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?".
I'm pretty sure he had a bet with someone on the number.<|eor|><|sor|>They bet often on the new guy<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,095 |
programmerhumor | psdao1102 | i8u0cyo | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I was an intern for the IT systems of a k-12 school district. Our job was to clean all the computers and reinstall a fresh installation of windows. One set of computers in a mini lab, had its ethernet disconnected. When i was done cleaning i thought i plugged it in. I didn't i plugged one ethernet cable back into the wall on another port. I had caused a loop. Normally this is fine, but on that schools old ass switches they were trying to discover all the devices on the network, and that loop made the switches start sending more and more pings, and work harder and harder to discover the whole network until i had consumed the entire capacity of the switch.
I effectively killed the internet/intranet for the whole school district. Took them all day to figure out what happened.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,408 |
programmerhumor | kry_some_more | i8u2yt2 | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job in the industry was working as a database developer. First week I deleted \~50k records from a prod database. Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?". Still makes me lol to this day.<|eor|><|sor|>> Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?".
I'm pretty sure he had a bet with someone on the number.<|eor|><|sor|>They bet often on the new guy<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Protip: If you delete everything, there is nothing to delete.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,130 |
programmerhumor | Frutol | i8tueoi | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Seniors don't use GUI, they didn't even notice<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,039 |
programmerhumor | 1up_1500 | i8twhqs | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>heh happened to me as well, on the 3rd day of work.
people were chill and everyone was laughing, fun times<|eor|><|sor|>it's not like it's a big deal after all, you don't even have to reinstall the system after to fix that mistake<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 966 |
programmerhumor | Cheliax | i8u0v68 | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I deleted my user on the very first day<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 817 |
programmerhumor | 30p87 | i8u3yea | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job in the industry was working as a database developer. First week I deleted \~50k records from a prod database. Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?". Still makes me lol to this day.<|eor|><|sor|>> Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?".
I'm pretty sure he had a bet with someone on the number.<|eor|><|sor|>They bet often on the new guy<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Protip: If you delete everything, there is nothing to delete.<|eor|><|sor|>just ```drop table *``` everywhere<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 577 |
programmerhumor | CC-5576-03 | i8tvn6k | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>You have transcended to the realm of the immortal cli warriors<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 555 |
programmerhumor | serialcatkiller_eatr | i8tiykr | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Still better than delete grub imo<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 542 |
programmerhumor | Cheliax | i8uev4o | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I deleted my user on the very first day<|eor|><|sor|>Bro how do u even come to a command that does this on the 1st day<|eor|><|sor|>Long story short: the laptop booted in a weird mode where it didn't recognize the existing user and asked to create a new one. I did and afterwards i realized the old user was there. Anyway, i went to delete the new user but accidentally deleted the old one.
I needed the old one cause it had special company stuff. Anyway, as it was my first day, they just factory reset and set it up again. 10 minutes after it was as if nothing had happened.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 528 |
programmerhumor | ell0bo | i8u8fog | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job in the industry was working as a database developer. First week I deleted \~50k records from a prod database. Walked up to the senior dev and didn't even have to say a word. His first question, "how many rows?". Still makes me lol to this day.<|eor|><|sor|>First real job, followed a coop and internship, I cost the company like 10 million. I forgot a ; in a perl script, the code got merged, and a month later we realized a step in the system wasn't running, and people were getting things for free.
I've since been the Sr dev on the otherside. Only time I got upset was when a Sr dev used my credentials to log directly into a db and drop a table. He dropped the wrong table.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 526 |
programmerhumor | zebediah49 | i8ugx4r | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I was an intern for the IT systems of a k-12 school district. Our job was to clean all the computers and reinstall a fresh installation of windows. One set of computers in a mini lab, had its ethernet disconnected. When i was done cleaning i thought i plugged it in. I didn't i plugged one ethernet cable back into the wall on another port. I had caused a loop. Normally this is fine, but on that schools old ass switches they were trying to discover all the devices on the network, and that loop made the switches start sending more and more pings, and work harder and harder to discover the whole network until i had consumed the entire capacity of the switch.
I effectively killed the internet/intranet for the whole school district. Took them all day to figure out what happened.<|eor|><|sor|>The most horrifying part of this is that it means your entire district was on one layer 2 fabric. Even without STP, that shouldn't have destroyed more than one vlan on one set of switches. (I guess unless the core routers were trash and got wrecked by the packet storm on the uplink to that broadcast domain.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 442 |
programmerhumor | AciD1BuRN | i8u9xnp | <|sols|><|sot|>True story<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/s0pl1b5kfuz81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I deleted my user on the very first day<|eor|><|sor|>Bro how do u even come to a command that does this on the 1st day<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 418 |
programmerhumor | bot_hunter101 | ecamdi | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,731 |
programmerhumor | simpleyes | fba4ebf | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Lol full stack? This is a recruiters description of Jr. Dev.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 7,336 |
programmerhumor | nocturnalspider | fba6epi | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Lol full stack? This is a recruiters description of Jr. Dev.<|eor|><|sor|>Did you mean intern?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,088 |
programmerhumor | Lubjan | fba4qi0 | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Don't forget the programming language that came out yesterday, that they want you to have 5+ years of experience with<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,211 |
programmerhumor | akashneo | fbacc1w | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Job: create spreadsheet, do data entries
Interview question: write knn, logistic algo<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,671 |
programmerhumor | Salmuth | fba6pc9 | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Lol full stack? This is a recruiters description of Jr. Dev.<|eor|><|sor|>Did you mean intern?<|eor|><|sor|>"Wanna be paid in bretzels? Nice, after a little time in here you'll get some!"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,201 |
programmerhumor | _PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ | fba8vlj | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The IT department doesn't do any of that. They run cable, install hardware, perform arcane networking incantations, administer the domain controller and field endless support questions about email and fileshares.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,164 |
programmerhumor | ProfCupcake | fbaaxcj | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Don't forget the programming language that came out yesterday, that they want you to have 5+ years of experience with<|eor|><|sor|>Listen, if you're not willing to train in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, you're just not a serious enough programmer for this startup.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,009 |
programmerhumor | RyanJGannon | fba4lhk | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>It also looks like they expect you to be a time traveller.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 982 |
programmerhumor | daniel_ricciardo | fbahqay | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Job: create spreadsheet, do data entries
Interview question: write knn, logistic algo<|eor|><|sor|>Also 90 push ups right now. Go.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 698 |
programmerhumor | bot_hunter101 | fbabn2x | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>It also looks like they expect you to be a time traveller.<|eor|><|soopr|>Nah, that comes as a requirement for senior developer.<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 534 |
programmerhumor | MasterPsyduck | fbackjq | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Wait a second, Ive covered most of that... looks at salary... Ive made a mistake<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 506 |
programmerhumor | didgeridoome24 | fbalhti | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Job: create spreadsheet, do data entries
Interview question: write knn, logistic algo<|eor|><|sor|>Also 90 push ups right now. Go.<|eor|><|sor|>But I dont know Go and it wasnt in the job description!
No lie, I once got to the third round of technical interviews with a company when suddenly they give me an assignment to write some convoluted web app in C#. Nowhere in the job description did it mention needing to know C#. Nowhere on my resume did I claim to have any experience with C#. When I told my interviewer that I wasnt going to do it because of this they were really confused.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 446 |
programmerhumor | frostixv | fbahha1 | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Lol full stack? This is a recruiters description of Jr. Dev.<|eor|><|sor|>They're doing groundbreaking work to save humanity and are only looking for Allstack Ninjaneers.
Unless you're on par with: Alan Turing, Jon von Neumann, Donald Knuth, Ken Thompson, Steve Wozniac, etc...
Please don't bother applying and wasting their time. They need their duct-taped 1000 JS module web app that's been passed around between internal developers with high turnover and a dozen outsourced contractors to hit the market last week.
Their new web app will be game changing and paradigm shifting. It will AI app the IoT at the Edge, synergizing autonomous cost savings.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 434 |
programmerhumor | vksdan | fbamlv9 | <|sols|><|sot|>I am the IT department<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/kflfysh17d541.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>"Bring your own computer. No Unix, Linux, Windows, MacOS or any other variant. The OS should have been built from scratch, by yourself. Assembly and machine learning is a must. At least 5 years experience with Python, Xamarin and Matlab. We have cookies (if you bring them) and free water (from the tap, in the building across the street). Bathroom breaks are allowed every other week."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 409 |
programmerhumor | Henrietta_Blake985 | jc61a2 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,677 |
programmerhumor | DeltalJulietCharlie | g8zikce | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 4,140 |
programmerhumor | currentlyatwork1234 | g8zjixf | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,403 |
programmerhumor | Chirimorin | g8zn3hc | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,148 |
programmerhumor | Jernsaxe | g8znya1 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir, you can complain all you want, I've just tested it with every single inhouse email and I'm not getting a single mistake, I believe the mistake is with your PC"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,628 |
programmerhumor | sspine | g8zms4u | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,277 |
programmerhumor | k4kshi | g8zn41h | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>What language is that? Swift?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 494 |
programmerhumor | Meltingteeth | g8zqxye | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir, you can complain all you want, I've just tested it with every single inhouse email and I'm not getting a single mistake, I believe the mistake is with your PC"<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir have you rebooted and run the diagnostic program? Ok sir can you tell me have you downloaded any virus or suspicious file lately?"
"Please for the love of god tell me the magic chant I have to say to get a network engineer on here."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 457 |
programmerhumor | espriminati | g8zkjdm | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>println(rand(1,7) + "day")
EDIT: forgot to floor<|eor|><|sor|>fourday<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 413 |
programmerhumor | Johanno1 | g8zmyar | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>There was a tv report about that.
They had no time set for the response from the server. So as long the response was under one millisecond it worked. But if it took longer it threw a time out.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 398 |
programmerhumor | squigs | g8zrmn9 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>>"yes, and she's produced a map showing the radius within which we can send email to be slightly more than 500 miles. There are a number of destinations within that radius that we can't reach, either, or reach sporadically, but we can never email farther than this radius."
I've seen this one before. I particularly like the above quote. This is the sort of rigourous attention to detail I like in bug reports.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 372 |
programmerhumor | Zweihunde_Dev | g8zqpba | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>This is definitely programmer humour. I can tell because the jokes are code related and I am not laughing.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 311 |
programmerhumor | Russian_repost_bot | g8znpab | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>There was a tv report about that.
They had no time set for the response from the server. So as long the response was under one millisecond it worked. But if it took longer it threw a time out.<|eor|><|sor|>This is how you keep a server snappy and responsive.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 290 |
programmerhumor | Wudiislegend | g8zpc6a | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>What language is that? Swift?<|eor|><|sor|>Its swift.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 252 |
programmerhumor | cosmoh | g8zv051 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>Is there a place to find these interesting bugs?<|eor|><|sor|>In my code<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 222 |
programmerhumor | Gubru | g8zk2w5 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>That's... An interesting bug<|eor|><|sor|>A famous one http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 219 |
programmerhumor | Jernsaxe | g8zttjr | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir, you can complain all you want, I've just tested it with every single inhouse email and I'm not getting a single mistake, I believe the mistake is with your PC"<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir have you rebooted and run the diagnostic program? Ok sir can you tell me have you downloaded any virus or suspicious file lately?"
"Please for the love of god tell me the magic chant I have to say to get a network engineer on here."<|eor|><|sor|>"I am getting wearier, with this querier, I am calling your superior"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 215 |
programmerhumor | tlatoani_rpg | g8zoz7l | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>It's like the phrase " even a broken clock is correct twice a day"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 205 |
programmerhumor | conancat | g8zq852 | <|sols|><|sot|>Helping my teammates remember what day of the week it is<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qovb8y2b1ft51.png<|eol|><|sor|>I once accidentally wrote a service that would only work during odd numbered months of odd numbered years.<|eor|><|sor|>At least you didn't create a system that couldn't send emails further than 500 miles.<|eor|><|sor|>The hell? How does that happen?<|eor|><|sor|>[Here is the story](http://web.mit.edu/jemorris/humor/500-miles)
tl;dr: the mail server was accidentally downgraded and the old version could not read the new settings file, this caused the connection timeout to default to 0.
The server took about 3ms to realize it's been over 0ms and would timeout. 3ms at the speed of light is a bit over 500 miles, so that's how far a request could go before timing out.<|eor|><|sor|>"Sir, you can complain all you want, I've just tested it with every single inhouse email and I'm not getting a single mistake, I believe the mistake is with your PC"<|eor|><|sor|>r/notmyjob<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 202 |
programmerhumor | MichaelScottRMDM | imwbsr | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,503 |
programmerhumor | LokiArchetype | g43eu8p | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>We know that, our clients on the other hand...<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,144 |
programmerhumor | unclegena | g43f336 | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Actually web developers knows that. But PMs...<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,740 |
programmerhumor | HappyDustbunny | g43txdk | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>We know that, our clients on the other hand...<|eor|><|sor|>That's one of the reasons why there ought to be something akin to the Hippocratic oath in programming.
"Sorry, CEO-dude, I swore a dear oath never to be evil"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,452 |
programmerhumor | StenSoft | g43gbj5 | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Don't worry, my autoplay videos also mine bitcoins.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,323 |
programmerhumor | trexdoor | g43n4iz | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Actually web developers knows that. But PMs...<|eor|><|sor|>PMs know that autoplay is the best way to make you watch ads and thus to increase site revenue.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,131 |
programmerhumor | AppleToasterr | g43ojhx | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Actually web developers knows that. But PMs...<|eor|><|sor|>PMs know that autoplay is the best way to make you watch ads and thus to increase site revenue.<|eor|><|sor|>Also happens to be the best way to make sure I never visit that site again.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 797 |
programmerhumor | SavvySillybug | g43qq27 | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>In the past I said "except YouTube" but ever since Firefox changed to not autoplay YouTube... yeah I don't mind having one more click. Play exactly when I want it. I can just open a whole bunch of YouTube tabs and go through them one by one without them all yelling at me, it's nice.
Nothing ever playing without my immediate consent is a good thing.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 693 |
programmerhumor | V3rtigo44 | g443fou | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>We know that, our clients on the other hand...<|eor|><|sor|>That's one of the reasons why there ought to be something akin to the Hippocratic oath in programming.
"Sorry, CEO-dude, I swore a dear oath never to be evil"<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>They lived long enough to see themselves become the villain.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 589 |
programmerhumor | Pr_fSm__th | g43g0jq | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Yeah right, blame the Devs instead of the PO with their idiotic requirements.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 555 |
programmerhumor | ErnestoZiBesto | g43vn1v | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>Don't worry, my autoplay videos also mine bitcoins.<|eor|><|sor|>This guy develops<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 358 |
programmerhumor | fruitydude | g43uakm | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>In the past I said "except YouTube" but ever since Firefox changed to not autoplay YouTube... yeah I don't mind having one more click. Play exactly when I want it. I can just open a whole bunch of YouTube tabs and go through them one by one without them all yelling at me, it's nice.
Nothing ever playing without my immediate consent is a good thing.<|eor|><|sor|>I especially hate when a Youtuber has one video on his page set to Autoplay.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 317 |
programmerhumor | coldnebo | g44k093 | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>We know that, our clients on the other hand...<|eor|><|sor|>That's one of the reasons why there ought to be something akin to the Hippocratic oath in programming.
"Sorry, CEO-dude, I swore a dear oath never to be evil"<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>They lived long enough to see themselves become the villain.<|eor|><|sor|>This sentence only applies if you're not the villain from the beginning.<|eor|><|sor|>Whose to say there werent good intentions in the beginning?<|eor|><|sor|>In fact, Googles search started out completely blank except for the logo and a search box.
That was revolutionary because it was focused on what the user wanted to do, while the horrifically cluttered search pages at Yahoo and altavista were focused on what marketing wanted the user to do.
I believe its possible to track Googles path to the darkside (and greater influence by the dark patterns of UX practiced by marketing) by simply looking at the little pieces of cruft showing up on that basic search page over time.
Links to promotions, other apps, tips, etc etc.
Likewise, the search results started out clean, then got ads in a single place, then got promoted ads inline, and eventually the promoted ad styles blend in with the real content.
Now, the corruption is nearly complete as I suspect that Google simply ignores half the words I typed so they can show me some crap results that hit their promotion targets. Almost pure evil at this point.
Still, we never paid for search or email, or most of the rest of it. And they never honored our hardware purchase to make it possible. So its not surprising that the internet looks like a free newspaper. Maybe its time to actually pay for good things rather than let marketing monetize us.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 288 |
programmerhumor | SavvySillybug | g43udim | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>In the past I said "except YouTube" but ever since Firefox changed to not autoplay YouTube... yeah I don't mind having one more click. Play exactly when I want it. I can just open a whole bunch of YouTube tabs and go through them one by one without them all yelling at me, it's nice.
Nothing ever playing without my immediate consent is a good thing.<|eor|><|sor|>I especially hate when a Youtuber has one video on his page set to Autoplay.<|eor|><|sor|>Ah, yes. The channel intro. Fucking hate it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 284 |
programmerhumor | Jon_Wo-o | g447xl3 | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>We know that, our clients on the other hand...<|eor|><|sor|>That's one of the reasons why there ought to be something akin to the Hippocratic oath in programming.
"Sorry, CEO-dude, I swore a dear oath never to be evil"<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>They lived long enough to see themselves become the villain.<|eor|><|sor|>This sentence only applies if you're not the villain from the beginning.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 276 |
programmerhumor | Hawaiimichael | g43bijb | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>And slideshows to show a list of content. Yeah everybody hates those. Stop it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 261 |
programmerhumor | WonderWirm | g439lzm | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>And cookies? Yeah, we know about those, thanks EU!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 207 |
programmerhumor | Firevulturez | g43ezzj | <|sols|><|sot|>Loading..<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/qwt83g5vv9l51.png<|eol|><|sor|>And cookies? Yeah, we know about those, thanks EU!<|eor|><|sor|>Those cookie banners are the worst. They wanna make it as hard as possible to accept only the cookies you want and hide those options behind several clicks while there is always very easily accessible and very visible an accept all button<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 202 |
programmerhumor | AusLeviathan | qola1q | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,490 |
programmerhumor | teefj | hjno83g | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>Job security baby<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,270 |
programmerhumor | coldnebo | hjnxqt8 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>You know those apps who force you to stare at their logo for like 10 seconds on startup while they pretend to be loading? (example: eToro). They definitely have that `sleep()` call lol<|eor|><|sor|>Ill give you insight from a previous company I worked at.
Our app had a splash screen showing our logo that I worked on. Now, my own sensibilities were that an app on startup shouldnt interrupt anything else I might be doing, because Im often doing multiple things while waiting for an app to start. So instead of system modal splash screens that prevent you from seeing anything else, I prefer application modal splash screens. And the splash screen is just to cover the actual loading time, it shouldnt impact the users performance in any way. And it definitely should NEVER EVER steal focus from another app Im typing into while waiting.
Now these apparently lofty ideals fell apart on our first contact with marketing.
I didnt see the logo, it went away too fast.
Thats because you were looking at your phone instead of the app when it started.
no, no, we need it to be readable at least 5 seconds on screen.
So, even if its done starting up you want to slow the user down?
yes, otherwise they may get distracted and miss it.
ok
by the way, theres a bug, I didnt see the logo at all yesterday
not a bug, you were working on an email while waiting for the app to start and the email had focus.
can we change it so that the splash covers everything? people wont see it otherwise.
application modal? ok. (here I thought at least Ill be tricky and make it go away if the user clicks on it)
another bug, it disappeared the other day too quickly
not a bug, it dismisses on click so it doesnt prevent the user from doing anything else (otherwise why even have a multitasking operating system?!)
oh no, we have to have it visible for at least 10 seconds (you said 5 before) ya, but we were trying to show it to the investors and they didnt look at it fast enough. maybe 15 sec to be safe.
Jesus, so you want an application modal that blocks everything for 15 sec just to see the logo?
yes
ok, whatever. there.
(this time from the other devs) bug, when I start the app in the debugger I cant see anything because of the splash screen
working as designed. when the splash was app modal, it went behind as the breakpoint was tripped, but now it blocked the middle of the screen right where all the functions were.
ok, well lets disable this for debug
you dont think this will be JUST as ANNOYING to customers?
thats marketings decision
And so thats the story of how a functional elegant splash screen turned into a productivity-sapping monstrosity, courtesy of your friendly marketing department.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,702 |
programmerhumor | TimH1107 | hjnrn94 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>You know those apps who force you to stare at their logo for like 10 seconds on startup while they pretend to be loading? (example: eToro). They definitely have that `sleep()` call lol<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,591 |
programmerhumor | Wihlborg | hjnwoir | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>What's the difference?<|eor|><|sor|>5 milliseconds (0.005 seconds) vs 5 microseconds (0.000005 seconds)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,266 |
programmerhumor | rdrunner_74 | hjnrkhv | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>Thats how you make your users love your upgrades...
​
Make them suffer until they accept their faith. The remove ONE of your sleep command for stellar feedback<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 958 |
programmerhumor | ptvlm | hjnytf2 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>You know those apps who force you to stare at their logo for like 10 seconds on startup while they pretend to be loading? (example: eToro). They definitely have that `sleep()` call lol<|eor|><|sor|>Ill give you insight from a previous company I worked at.
Our app had a splash screen showing our logo that I worked on. Now, my own sensibilities were that an app on startup shouldnt interrupt anything else I might be doing, because Im often doing multiple things while waiting for an app to start. So instead of system modal splash screens that prevent you from seeing anything else, I prefer application modal splash screens. And the splash screen is just to cover the actual loading time, it shouldnt impact the users performance in any way. And it definitely should NEVER EVER steal focus from another app Im typing into while waiting.
Now these apparently lofty ideals fell apart on our first contact with marketing.
I didnt see the logo, it went away too fast.
Thats because you were looking at your phone instead of the app when it started.
no, no, we need it to be readable at least 5 seconds on screen.
So, even if its done starting up you want to slow the user down?
yes, otherwise they may get distracted and miss it.
ok
by the way, theres a bug, I didnt see the logo at all yesterday
not a bug, you were working on an email while waiting for the app to start and the email had focus.
can we change it so that the splash covers everything? people wont see it otherwise.
application modal? ok. (here I thought at least Ill be tricky and make it go away if the user clicks on it)
another bug, it disappeared the other day too quickly
not a bug, it dismisses on click so it doesnt prevent the user from doing anything else (otherwise why even have a multitasking operating system?!)
oh no, we have to have it visible for at least 10 seconds (you said 5 before) ya, but we were trying to show it to the investors and they didnt look at it fast enough. maybe 15 sec to be safe.
Jesus, so you want an application modal that blocks everything for 15 sec just to see the logo?
yes
ok, whatever. there.
(this time from the other devs) bug, when I start the app in the debugger I cant see anything because of the splash screen
working as designed. when the splash was app modal, it went behind as the breakpoint was tripped, but now it blocked the middle of the screen right where all the functions were.
ok, well lets disable this for debug
you dont think this will be JUST as ANNOYING to customers?
thats marketings decision
And so thats the story of how a functional elegant splash screen turned into a productivity-sapping monstrosity, courtesy of your friendly marketing department.<|eor|><|sor|>So... the idea is that good marketing is to make the product that someone *already uses* be as annoying as possible during startup, while ensuring that users immediately associate it with slow loading times and invasive display?
Surely if I'm loading a program it's because I already own it and intend to load it, so it should be as quick as possible so I don't get tempted to shop around next upgrade? I'm not in marketing, obviously<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 831 |
programmerhumor | HeyRiks | hjodw2h | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>I love dev culture where you're a hero for fixing your own mistakes lmao<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 828 |
programmerhumor | michaellasalle | hjohw05 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>What's the difference?<|eor|><|sor|>5 milliseconds (0.005 seconds) vs 5 microseconds (0.000005 seconds)<|eor|><|sor|>Ah thanks<|eor|><|sor|>Also, since you asked: the difference is 4,995 microseconds.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 605 |
programmerhumor | lazyplayer121 | hjnrwdz | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>Job security baby<|eor|><|sor|>This what happenes when you use 100% of your brain.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 598 |
programmerhumor | mcvos | hjnvr60 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>When I was in university, I examined the system's startup script for Netscape. It included a `sleep(10)` with the comment "pretend we're doing something".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 514 |
programmerhumor | Peacook | hjp9n70 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>I love dev culture where you're a hero for fixing your own mistakes lmao<|eor|><|sor|>That's totally fine. Anyone worth a damn at work understands everyone makes mistakes.
You get praised as much for fixing a bug caused by someone else as you do when it's caused by you. Shit happens and your employed to do your best<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 440 |
programmerhumor | coldnebo | hjnyxt0 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>You know those apps who force you to stare at their logo for like 10 seconds on startup while they pretend to be loading? (example: eToro). They definitely have that `sleep()` call lol<|eor|><|sor|>Ill give you insight from a previous company I worked at.
Our app had a splash screen showing our logo that I worked on. Now, my own sensibilities were that an app on startup shouldnt interrupt anything else I might be doing, because Im often doing multiple things while waiting for an app to start. So instead of system modal splash screens that prevent you from seeing anything else, I prefer application modal splash screens. And the splash screen is just to cover the actual loading time, it shouldnt impact the users performance in any way. And it definitely should NEVER EVER steal focus from another app Im typing into while waiting.
Now these apparently lofty ideals fell apart on our first contact with marketing.
I didnt see the logo, it went away too fast.
Thats because you were looking at your phone instead of the app when it started.
no, no, we need it to be readable at least 5 seconds on screen.
So, even if its done starting up you want to slow the user down?
yes, otherwise they may get distracted and miss it.
ok
by the way, theres a bug, I didnt see the logo at all yesterday
not a bug, you were working on an email while waiting for the app to start and the email had focus.
can we change it so that the splash covers everything? people wont see it otherwise.
application modal? ok. (here I thought at least Ill be tricky and make it go away if the user clicks on it)
another bug, it disappeared the other day too quickly
not a bug, it dismisses on click so it doesnt prevent the user from doing anything else (otherwise why even have a multitasking operating system?!)
oh no, we have to have it visible for at least 10 seconds (you said 5 before) ya, but we were trying to show it to the investors and they didnt look at it fast enough. maybe 15 sec to be safe.
Jesus, so you want an application modal that blocks everything for 15 sec just to see the logo?
yes
ok, whatever. there.
(this time from the other devs) bug, when I start the app in the debugger I cant see anything because of the splash screen
working as designed. when the splash was app modal, it went behind as the breakpoint was tripped, but now it blocked the middle of the screen right where all the functions were.
ok, well lets disable this for debug
you dont think this will be JUST as ANNOYING to customers?
thats marketings decision
And so thats the story of how a functional elegant splash screen turned into a productivity-sapping monstrosity, courtesy of your friendly marketing department.<|eor|><|sor|>So... the idea is that good marketing is to make the product that someone *already uses* be as annoying as possible during startup, while ensuring that users immediately associate it with slow loading times and invasive display?
Surely if I'm loading a program it's because I already own it and intend to load it, so it should be as quick as possible so I don't get tempted to shop around next upgrade? I'm not in marketing, obviously<|eor|><|sor|>found the developer.
(those were all my assumptions too lol)
In general Ive found marketing to be as far from the Dao as possible and a bunch of screaming spoiled kids pay attention to MEE!!. Even when confronted with the pain of using other apps from other companies with other marketing saying PAY ATTENTION TO MEE dont they realize that it quickly becomes a worldwide stage of a thousand apps all SCREAMING MORE LOUDLY: PAY ATTENTION TO ME?!?!!?
What is the top thing everyone does when someone goes around at a party demanding that everyone pay attention to them?
Ignores them, or leaves.
Someday marketing will understand that users are having the same reaction and the only thing that keeps them there is any other value of the app worth that suffering.
Imagine how much happier your customers would be if they didnt have that junk weighing them down.
If you want to be the life of the party, the cool kid everyone wants to listen to, try actually being something instead of pretending or trying to force people to like you.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 348 |
programmerhumor | arvigeus | hjnrbz5 | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>That's a dumb move! Leave it as it is, and the next time boss demands optimizations or complains your code is slow, shave off few seconds.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 345 |
programmerhumor | JuniorSeniorTrainee | hjobbkb | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>In what cases would sleeping for 5 s be helpful?<|eor|><|sor|>When you want it to be 5s later.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 342 |
programmerhumor | BorgDrone | hjnxqxt | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>Job security baby<|eor|><|sor|>Ah yes, the [speedup loop](https://thedailywtf.com/articles/The-Speedup-Loop)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 307 |
programmerhumor | vvokhom2 | hjnw0ls | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>Thats how you make your users love your upgrades...
​
Make them suffer until they accept their faith. The remove ONE of your sleep command for stellar feedback<|eor|><|sor|>Just -1 sec would be enough - and you can do this for several updates straight<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 300 |
programmerhumor | reddit_police_dpt | hjor67a | <|sols|><|sot|>In my case it's intentional<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/l8ts2vmr85y71.png<|eol|><|sor|>When I was in university, I examined the system's startup script for Netscape. It included a `sleep(10)` with the comment "pretend we're doing something".<|eor|><|sor|>That's for the users benefit. We've run AB tests at work which show that a slower loading time for a payment page leads to higher conversion- this is backed up by other studies- users don't always trust websites if they load too fast<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 275 |
programmerhumor | Ok_Earth_7545 | u49a6j | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 64,387 |
programmerhumor | A_Guy_in_Orange | i4u5d0c | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well it's your own fault, titsmcgee1137 already had a question, marked as duplicate<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 4,477 |
programmerhumor | DhiaTr120 | i4u3iaf | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>and that random dude who comes to fix a typo or capitalize letters lol<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,164 |
programmerhumor | SnooWoofers4430 | i4u8t3e | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well it's your own fault, titsmcgee1137 already had a question, marked as duplicate<|eor|><|sor|>And his question is 4 years old and if you're extremely lucky it might have slightest similarity to your question.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,338 |
programmerhumor | Anti-Dragon | i4uc435 | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unwritten rules of stackoverflow:
1: Never make a new post
2: Never answer an existing post<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,270 |
programmerhumor | averageT4Tfan | i4uah9l | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well it's your own fault, titsmcgee1137 already had a question, marked as duplicate<|eor|><|sor|>And his question is 4 years old and if you're extremely lucky it might have slightest similarity to your question.<|eor|><|sor|>You're asking about an error? Don't you know there's a question from 9 years ago tangentially related to the same error caused by a different thing? Fucking scrub, at least \*google\* your problem before coming here.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,465 |
programmerhumor | the_evil_comma | i4ug9ie | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me: Hey I have a problem, heres my example
Answer: Well first of all you fucking moron<|eor|><|sor|>Other acceptable answers:
- This is trivial
- Read the documentation
- This isn't how you should do it
- I'm having the same problem<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,287 |
programmerhumor | Ok_Earth_7545 | i4u6oz9 | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>and that random dude who comes to fix a typo or capitalize letters lol<|eor|><|soopr|>CLASSIC<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 878 |
programmerhumor | Sweetcynic36 | i4ucu84 | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unwritten rules of stackoverflow:
1: Never make a new post
2: Never answer an existing post<|eor|><|sor|>3: quietly search, copy, and paste....<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 852 |
programmerhumor | 4spect_ | i4ucoc0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Then therell always be that one guy who fixes the issue, tells you were you went wrong, completely rewrites your code to fix it and make it far neater, and responds with np when you thank them.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 794 |
programmerhumor | leviatan-sama | i4uabln | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>deplicate thread
from a thread that is 6 years old
and got 2 responses
1. did you try to google it?
2. from the op: nvm i found it<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 754 |
programmerhumor | zelmoghazy | i4udatz | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Worst feeling ever when the only post that has the same exact problem as you with - 1 votes and no replies<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 558 |
programmerhumor | sermer48 | i4uirnb | <|sols|><|sot|>Sad truth<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/xjyw030edpt81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well it's your own fault, titsmcgee1137 already had a question, marked as duplicate<|eor|><|sor|>And his question is 4 years old and if you're extremely lucky it might have slightest similarity to your question.<|eor|><|sor|>You're asking about an error? Don't you know there's a question from 9 years ago tangentially related to the same error caused by a different thing? Fucking scrub, at least \*google\* your problem before coming here.<|eor|><|sor|>And now til the end of time that answer is the one Google will return.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 546 |
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