subreddit stringclasses 7 values | author stringlengths 3 20 | id stringlengths 5 7 | content stringlengths 67 30.4k | score int64 0 140k |
|---|---|---|---|---|
programmerhumor | RobDickinson | iru8p1j | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,629 |
programmerhumor | AlphaSparqy | irubk2o | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>And yet he was still compensated so poorly he stole work product to sell to a competitor.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,625 |
programmerhumor | acqz | irudm4q | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Hey everyone, I'm gonna `git push origin master --force`.
See? Nobody cares.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,179 |
programmerhumor | Bee-Aromatic | iruhtjb | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>well have to go through the lines of code one by one.
How many are there?
bout two million.
Ha! Only two million lines of code. Thats adorable! Gets me every time!
*goes back to crying in legacy systems*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 630 |
programmerhumor | MNCPA | irusywh | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>And yet he was still compensated so poorly he stole work product to sell to a competitor.<|eor|><|sor|>In all fairness, he was also moonlighting for the USPS.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 562 |
programmerhumor | TracerBulletX | irup0c7 | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>In the book he owned a whole consulting company that wrote the in house software that powered the park, but at the last minute there were bugs and he wanted to push fixes over the modem but they insisted he come personally as the owner because John Hammond was a dick who treated him poorly, thus the whole scamming them for more money he thought he was owed.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 354 |
programmerhumor | chelseablue2004 | iruwg64 | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>When Hammond says "We spared no expense in creating Jurassic Park"...
He meant we spent a lot of money on lobbies, cars and splicing genes. Where we decided not to spend money was in IT cause it was just cheaper to hire Newman from Seinfeld.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 348 |
programmerhumor | ZacheyBYT | iruuwbh | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I cannot recommend the book enough, especially to software engineers. Fair warning it is much darker than the movie.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 268 |
programmerhumor | netheroth | irupr0z | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Hey everyone, I'm gonna `git push origin master --force`.
See? Nobody cares.<|eor|><|sor|>Do not use the Force!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 255 |
programmerhumor | SaintNewts | iruw9oo | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>well have to go through the lines of code one by one.
How many are there?
bout two million.
Ha! Only two million lines of code. Thats adorable! Gets me every time!
*goes back to crying in legacy systems*<|eor|><|sor|>Mmm. FORTRAN 77.
Global memory blocks.
Nearly 100 million lines of code.
Reusing that rarely used variable which is helpfully named XXTXRNRY (Executive External Transmit Return Array?) for a completely unrelated function call (or three).
Yep.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 250 |
programmerhumor | demon_ix | irussdh | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Hammond kept saying he spared no expense, but he was stringy as fuck when it came to the park's management system. Its brains, if you will.
Similarly, he gave a lot of thought and planning to making the park work, be sophisticated and state-of-the-art, but he never even considered if there should even be a park at all. If it was a good idea to put humans this close to ancient killing machines. He ignored every red flag along the way, like the employee dying at the start, his own game warden telling him repeatedly to exterminate the raptors, and decides to conduct the park's demo run with his external auditors and his own grandchildren during a tropical storm that caused an evacuation and left the park with less than a skeleton crew.
So yeah, he spared the brains a great deal.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 208 |
programmerhumor | awfulrunner43434 | iruufjo | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>In the book he owned a whole consulting company that wrote the in house software that powered the park, but at the last minute there were bugs and he wanted to push fixes over the modem but they insisted he come personally as the owner because John Hammond was a dick who treated him poorly, thus the whole scamming them for more money he thought he was owed.<|eor|><|sor|>Wasn't it also that Nedry was losing money on the contract because of feature creep?<|eor|><|sor|>Feature creep, and many of the bugs and issues were because of the extreme secrecy- Nedry barely had an idea he was even working on a zoo/park, let alone one with dinosaurs. Also Hammond threatened to get him blacklisted.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 200 |
programmerhumor | NegZer0 | irvctad | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>And yet he was still compensated so poorly he stole work product to sell to a competitor.<|eor|><|sor|>In all fairness, he was also moonlighting for the USPS.<|eor|><|sor|>On the mother of all postcard days<|eor|><|sor|>[removed]<|eor|><|sor|>The greatest irony is that this scene gets brought up as Hollywood doesnt know computers but it actually was a Unix (IRIX) system and the 3D UI was a real product available on IRIX, fsn:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fsn_(file_manager)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 172 |
programmerhumor | doot-- | irurrkn | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>In the book he owned a whole consulting company that wrote the in house software that powered the park, but at the last minute there were bugs and he wanted to push fixes over the modem but they insisted he come personally as the owner because John Hammond was a dick who treated him poorly, thus the whole scamming them for more money he thought he was owed.<|eor|><|sor|>Wasn't it also that Nedry was losing money on the contract because of feature creep?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 171 |
programmerhumor | Gaflonzelschmerno | iruyzxh | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I cannot recommend the book enough, especially to software engineers. Fair warning it is much darker than the movie.<|eor|><|sor|>And the book lawyer is an actual decent guy who everyone still despises<|eor|><|sor|>Because the rest of them are just fucking dinosaur fanboys and he's talking about shit like accountability. I think the movie is one of the greatest ever made but they did my boy gennaro dirty. He was right all along.
Also, Hammond is a liar. They spared so much expenses. How about you forego the bloody introductory ride and pay your IT guy more money. Everyone is here to see the dinos anyway<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 170 |
programmerhumor | imdefinitelywong | iruurii | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Hey everyone, I'm gonna `git push origin master --force`.
See? Nobody cares.<|eor|><|sor|>Do not use the Force!<|eor|><|sor|><|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 169 |
programmerhumor | ChuckCarmichael | irv1asa | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Back in the day when one chunky guy was the entire IT department....<|eor|><|sor|>And yet he was still compensated so poorly he stole work product to sell to a competitor.<|eor|><|sor|>"Spared no expense."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 168 |
programmerhumor | cs-brydev | irumks5 | <|sols|><|sot|>The horror, the horror<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/7toPXUr.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>"It's a Uuuuunix system. I know this."
*grabs mouse and moves boxes around on the screen*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 162 |
programmerhumor | theholybork | yqozdo | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 60,952 |
programmerhumor | vegtodestiny | ivptqty | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,317 |
programmerhumor | theholybork | ivqehri | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|soopr|>Thats a good language as well<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,387 |
programmerhumor | BidBux | ivpz3u4 | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Funny thing: I study in a school in Russia and we had to solve a few problems. We were programming in Thonny, which currently has an icon of Ukrainian flag that says "support Ukraine". I'm surprised that the government didn't ban it yet, like it did with so many other services.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 685 |
programmerhumor | harumamburoo | ivqi0md | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|soopr|>Thats a good language as well<|eoopr|><|sor|>Its constructors are just wonderful<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 531 |
programmerhumor | GlowGreen1835 | ivpol0f | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Just slipping in there with all the other logos, what a snake.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 430 |
programmerhumor | MooseBoys | ivqndaz | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My daughter dressed as a University of Michigan cheerleader for halloween. We dont live in Michigan anymore and she was very confused why everyone thought she was Ukraine-themed.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 379 |
programmerhumor | snackers21 | ivr4tlr | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>How did you manage to make a gif lag?<|eor|><|sor|>Believe it or not, also Python.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 376 |
programmerhumor | inikul | ivqtcbz | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>How did you manage to make a gif lag?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 306 |
programmerhumor | rbf85 | ivqd72o | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|sor|>You should check the flag of Sweden while you are at it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 297 |
programmerhumor | Charlie_Yu | ivqguyb | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Funny thing: I study in a school in Russia and we had to solve a few problems. We were programming in Thonny, which currently has an icon of Ukrainian flag that says "support Ukraine". I'm surprised that the government didn't ban it yet, like it did with so many other services.<|eor|><|sor|>It is always good when the government forget that you exist<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 238 |
programmerhumor | Abject_Fly_2146 | ivq5rsq | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Funny thing: I study in a school in Russia and we had to solve a few problems. We were programming in Thonny, which currently has an icon of Ukrainian flag that says "support Ukraine". I'm surprised that the government didn't ban it yet, like it did with so many other services.<|eor|><|sor|>What kind of language is thonny?<|eor|><|sor|>Its a python ide<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 188 |
programmerhumor | RolesG | ivpfpi0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>And if you chop it in half, you get JavaScript and TypeScript!<|eor|><|sor|>Lol<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 185 |
programmerhumor | RestlessAmbivert | ivs64qf | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My daughter dressed as a University of Michigan cheerleader for halloween. We dont live in Michigan anymore and she was very confused why everyone thought she was Ukraine-themed.<|eor|><|sor|>*Python cheerleader<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 179 |
programmerhumor | limbtz | ivri5ps | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|soopr|>Thats a good language as well<|eoopr|><|sor|>Its constructors are just wonderful<|eor|><|sor|>Their documentations are second to none<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 167 |
programmerhumor | Appoxo | ivqhh3a | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|sor|>You should check the flag of Sweden while you are at it.<|eor|><|sor|>Supportive by design.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 147 |
programmerhumor | TheEnderChipmunk | ivq5kcc | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Funny thing: I study in a school in Russia and we had to solve a few problems. We were programming in Thonny, which currently has an icon of Ukrainian flag that says "support Ukraine". I'm surprised that the government didn't ban it yet, like it did with so many other services.<|eor|><|sor|>What kind of language is thonny?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 132 |
programmerhumor | coltstrgj | ivql65h | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|soopr|>Thats a good language as well<|eoopr|><|sor|>Its constructors are just wonderful<|eor|><|sor|>Really? I find them to be deeply problematic but maybe that's because of all the alcohol they drink at compile time.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 124 |
programmerhumor | brianl047 | ivqsiq8 | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Funny thing: I study in a school in Russia and we had to solve a few problems. We were programming in Thonny, which currently has an icon of Ukrainian flag that says "support Ukraine". I'm surprised that the government didn't ban it yet, like it did with so many other services.<|eor|><|sor|>It is always good when the government forget that you exist<|eor|><|sor|>I believe that Russia has much less controls or monitoring than people in the West think... it's not like China or North Korea because there's no "Great Firewall" or surveillance state that tolerates near zero dissent. Which makes the current situation very sad, because Russia could have been open for business, and the war need not have happened. All the death and pain and suffering need not have happened. Or perhaps that is naive and the war started years ago when Crimea was seized.
I am told that life in authoritarian states is very ordinary and the government does indeed "forget you exist" because they are busy monitoring or going after journalists, dissidents and so on. It could be very ordinary for most people.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 123 |
programmerhumor | BuccellatiExplainsIt | ivqvx49 | <|sols|><|sot|>Its a good language too<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/8dhwi2o2kyy91.gif<|eol|><|sor|>IKEA too<|eor|><|sor|>You should check the flag of Sweden while you are at it.<|eor|><|sor|>Wow, I can't believe the entire country of Sweden changed their flags pre-emptively just to support Ukraine<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 117 |
programmerhumor | TrulyChxse | 11vz1ue | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 60,914 |
programmerhumor | TengenToppa999 | jcvlxsq | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>If I leave. I never wanna see the code again.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 10,941 |
programmerhumor | NotTheOnlyGamer | jcvkff7 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Honestly, the main reason is criminal theft charges.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 8,967 |
programmerhumor | Kevin_Jim | jcvwoox | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unfortunately, I tend to like documenting what I do, which people take for "this guy will do it.".
So, my previous employer reached out to me about a process documentation (among other things), and because we weren't allowed to use GitHub for anything besides code, they couldn't find it. I told them that:
- a. It's on the company-wide GDrive folder structure, and that there's an official naming/storing convention that we used. If they followed that, they'll be able to find it
- b. I don't have anything related to my previous job, since everything I worked for was either on the company laptop, which I returned, or the company services (GitHub, GDrive, Jira, Confluence, etc.) which I don't have access to.
- c. I don't really care
That ahole told me that it was kinda my fault because my (then) collages relied on the folders I shared for documentation, and that they didn't know how the naming conventions and folder structures worked. I told him that it was in the stupid onboarding guide, and he replied the guy who wrote that has also left the company.
What a shitshow<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,564 |
programmerhumor | gregorydgraham | jcvr51r | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Honestly, the main reason is criminal theft charges.<|eor|><|sor|>Its almost certainly useless to you and it opens you up to accusations of theft and unauthorised access. Definitely not worth it<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 4,017 |
programmerhumor | invisibleman4884 | jcvpafj | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A guy tried to walk away my company's ip, and he got caught with a few hours. They seized his electronics to confirm he didn't make further copies. Could have landed him in jail. My bosses decided because he came clean immediately that they wouldn't bury him. I doubt most other companies would be that nice.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,309 |
programmerhumor | iComeInPeices | jcvucff | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>If I leave. I never wanna see the code again.<|eor|><|sor|>Right, leave my mistakes behind for someone else :-D<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,066 |
programmerhumor | VietQVinh | jcwq56r | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unfortunately, I tend to like documenting what I do, which people take for "this guy will do it.".
So, my previous employer reached out to me about a process documentation (among other things), and because we weren't allowed to use GitHub for anything besides code, they couldn't find it. I told them that:
- a. It's on the company-wide GDrive folder structure, and that there's an official naming/storing convention that we used. If they followed that, they'll be able to find it
- b. I don't have anything related to my previous job, since everything I worked for was either on the company laptop, which I returned, or the company services (GitHub, GDrive, Jira, Confluence, etc.) which I don't have access to.
- c. I don't really care
That ahole told me that it was kinda my fault because my (then) collages relied on the folders I shared for documentation, and that they didn't know how the naming conventions and folder structures worked. I told him that it was in the stupid onboarding guide, and he replied the guy who wrote that has also left the company.
What a shitshow<|eor|><|sor|>>it was in the onboarding guide
Tfw you're the only one who read that<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,605 |
programmerhumor | qrck | jcw3hw8 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A guy tried to walk away my company's ip, and he got caught with a few hours. They seized his electronics to confirm he didn't make further copies. Could have landed him in jail. My bosses decided because he came clean immediately that they wouldn't bury him. I doubt most other companies would be that nice.<|eor|><|sor|>Where I work, one guy tried stealing the code he was working on. He even used some clever steganography to hide bits and piecies in pdf files that looked like payslips that he was sending to his personal email from the company email. (our systems aren't enabled for any kind of removable storage).
End of the story: FBI arrests him.
Edit: typos<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,729 |
programmerhumor | B841nd34d | jcvmtz5 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The contract you signed?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,532 |
programmerhumor | ItsCalledDayTwa | jcvwyx0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>If I leave. I never wanna see the code again.<|eor|><|sor|>Right, leave my mistakes behind for someone else :-D<|eor|><|sor|>I don't even want to make eye contact with the person who sees it after me.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,523 |
programmerhumor | EwgB | jcvwap0 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Why the hell would I want to look at that pile of garbage ever again? For free no less...
I think the people who aren't actual programmers in this sub think that the actual programmers all work on some NASA AI VR NSA [insert other buzzwords here] stuff, and not the boring software that shuffles data from one garbage dump to another and generates some reports in the process.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,479 |
programmerhumor | That-Row-3038 | jcvm6s8 | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Do you all hate your coworkers or something? Even if you do breaking the law and making a company hate you is never a good strategy for getting a new job<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,331 |
programmerhumor | M2rsho | jcvtv9x | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Honestly, the main reason is criminal theft charges.<|eor|><|sor|>Its almost certainly useless to you and it opens you up to accusations of theft and unauthorised access. Definitely not worth it<|eor|><|sor|>No worries it's legal until you get caught<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,304 |
programmerhumor | Kevin_Jim | jcw3h7w | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unfortunately, I tend to like documenting what I do, which people take for "this guy will do it.".
So, my previous employer reached out to me about a process documentation (among other things), and because we weren't allowed to use GitHub for anything besides code, they couldn't find it. I told them that:
- a. It's on the company-wide GDrive folder structure, and that there's an official naming/storing convention that we used. If they followed that, they'll be able to find it
- b. I don't have anything related to my previous job, since everything I worked for was either on the company laptop, which I returned, or the company services (GitHub, GDrive, Jira, Confluence, etc.) which I don't have access to.
- c. I don't really care
That ahole told me that it was kinda my fault because my (then) collages relied on the folders I shared for documentation, and that they didn't know how the naming conventions and folder structures worked. I told him that it was in the stupid onboarding guide, and he replied the guy who wrote that has also left the company.
What a shitshow<|eor|><|sor|>Should of offered to find them. For but a small fee.<|eor|><|sor|>I did. He told me it was my responsibility to let them know how to do it, and when I told him whats the documentation is for, he told me But we cant find it!.
I tried to explain to him that if they want me to find it for them, they have to pay for that work. When I told him my freelancing rate he told me Thats not how much we paid you hourly.. I then tried to explain that 1. I left for a better paying job, and 2. Freelance pay is always more expensive, but he wouldnt listen, and called me an opportunist.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,035 |
programmerhumor | 1fatfrog | jcw00lm | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>If I leave. I never wanna see the code again.<|eor|><|sor|>Right, leave my mistakes behind for someone else :-D<|eor|><|sor|>I don't even want to make eye contact with the person who sees it after me.<|eor|><|sor|>Like leaving a bathroom stall.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 729 |
programmerhumor | Tsu_Dho_Namh | jcvyhzp | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The contract you signed?<|eor|><|sor|>Even without a contract, intellectual property has many of the same protections as physical property.
You can't leave a machine shop with a bunch of tools and say "but I didn't sign a no theft contract"
A lot of software comes with a copyright license specifically so you don't have to worry about getting sued for having it, even though you purchased the software. There's a copy of their code on your computer, without the licence, you're technically exposed to legal action.
https://www.mewburn.com/law-practice-library/software-copyright<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 718 |
programmerhumor | cce29555 | jcvu5nd | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Honestly, the main reason is criminal theft charges.<|eor|><|sor|>I'm behind 7 proxies on a tor node with a throwaway account activated with a Chinese sms they can't catch me hahahahaha oh wait I signed it with my employee number<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 709 |
programmerhumor | BarklyWooves | jcx8epe | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Unfortunately, I tend to like documenting what I do, which people take for "this guy will do it.".
So, my previous employer reached out to me about a process documentation (among other things), and because we weren't allowed to use GitHub for anything besides code, they couldn't find it. I told them that:
- a. It's on the company-wide GDrive folder structure, and that there's an official naming/storing convention that we used. If they followed that, they'll be able to find it
- b. I don't have anything related to my previous job, since everything I worked for was either on the company laptop, which I returned, or the company services (GitHub, GDrive, Jira, Confluence, etc.) which I don't have access to.
- c. I don't really care
That ahole told me that it was kinda my fault because my (then) collages relied on the folders I shared for documentation, and that they didn't know how the naming conventions and folder structures worked. I told him that it was in the stupid onboarding guide, and he replied the guy who wrote that has also left the company.
What a shitshow<|eor|><|sor|>>it was in the onboarding guide
Tfw you're the only one who read that<|eor|><|sor|>No one ever reads the docs<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 701 |
programmerhumor | jsveiga | jcvqv3f | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Serious question though: If I came up with singular algorithms to solve specific problems, and developed useful libraries we all use, once I switch jobs can't I have the same ideas? I mean, I can't just erase them from my head, or avoid solving the same problems with the same solutions.
Is the professional experience acquired in a job property of the employer?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 670 |
programmerhumor | MarthaEM | jcw4gfb | <|sols|><|sot|>Give me one reason I shouldnt take it. Ill wait.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/5xx8mdto6toa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A guy tried to walk away my company's ip, and he got caught with a few hours. They seized his electronics to confirm he didn't make further copies. Could have landed him in jail. My bosses decided because he came clean immediately that they wouldn't bury him. I doubt most other companies would be that nice.<|eor|><|sor|>Where I work, one guy tried stealing the code he was working on. He even used some clever steganography to hide bits and piecies in pdf files that looked like payslips that he was sending to his personal email from the company email. (our systems aren't enabled for any kind of removable storage).
End of the story: FBI arrests him.
Edit: typos<|eor|><|sor|>if there are no cameras around (like wfh) couldnt he lit just had taken photos of the ide?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 609 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | wdlvla | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 60,792 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij0akn | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>;<|eor|><|soopr|>#<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 19,502 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij44e8 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>`$m = ( ( 1 << $b ) - 1 ) << ( 32 - $b );`<|eor|><|soopr|>tax deductions<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 14,497 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij7u5x | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>kill -9 $children<|eor|><|soopr|>kills nine random children whenever ran<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 11,316 |
programmerhumor | sorryidkwhatelsetodo | iiiys47 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>;<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 9,685 |
programmerhumor | hansololz | iij6ux2 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>kill -9 $children<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 9,206 |
programmerhumor | TastesLikeOwlbear | iij2f15 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>`$m = ( ( 1 << $b ) - 1 ) << ( 32 - $b );`<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 7,322 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iijeg9x | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>\++++++++++\[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-\]>>>++.>+.+++++++..+++.<<++.>+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.<|eor|><|soopr|>makes your pc pass a kidney stone<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 6,911 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iijabo9 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>`:(){ :|:& };:`<|eor|><|soopr|>spices up the rest of the code by giving it emotions<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 6,418 |
programmerhumor | esumike | iijg09m | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>kill -9 $children<|eor|><|soopr|>kills nine random children whenever ran<|eoopr|><|sor|>Found Anakins account<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,778 |
programmerhumor | Popstar403 | iiizobt | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Python:
Import Die ; Die.Die()
(Edit: Didn't expect this to blow up! Thanks for the updates and awards)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,629 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij46kh | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|soopr|>we do not talk about this one<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 4,614 |
programmerhumor | Diligent_Choice | iijdhg1 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>\++++++++++\[>+>+++>+++++++>++++++++++<<<<-\]>>>++.>+.+++++++..+++.<<++.>+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,891 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij6rr1 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>0 == "0"<|eor|><|soopr|>> 0__0<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,881 |
programmerhumor | sanchez2673 | iij8mx5 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>`:(){ :|:& };:`<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,644 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij6f00 | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|> Record record = new Record().record();<|eor|><|soopr|>creates a new record, obviously<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,626 |
programmerhumor | GreatArtificeAion | iij7vwm | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>;<|eor|><|soopr|>#<|eoopr|><|sor|>Yeah, pretty much<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,396 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij8pnx | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>while(true){
Sysout("hello world")
}<|eor|><|soopr|>print (hello world) but cooler<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,256 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij8g5i | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>;<|eor|><|soopr|>#<|eoopr|><|sor|>Yeah, pretty much<|eor|><|soopr|>im ready for c++<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,111 |
programmerhumor | a-slice-of-toast | iij89ur | <|sols|><|sot|>>>>print(Hello, World!)<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/d48lmbmiq4f91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|soopr|>dread<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,877 |
programmerhumor | Deep-Ad591 | tpo157 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 60,778 |
programmerhumor | TurboGranny | i2ch2ek | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,310 |
programmerhumor | inaminute00 | i2cjglv | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Oh gawd, this reminded me that tomorrow is Monday.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 807 |
programmerhumor | IveGotATinyRick | i2cqo5e | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, during sprint planning: this is going to be an easy task, two points
Also me: *takes the entire sprint to finish that same two point task* <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 657 |
programmerhumor | awhhh | i2cpm52 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|sor|>My company is fucking dope like this. My CEO has basically said to us all if you start getting bogged down turn off slack and hammer things out. We have minimal meetings, 2 to 4 a week, and Ill routinely take them when I can. My PMs are pretty good people that understand flow and will just cater to the devs when they have a massive release.
Because my area of the company is cut off from the rest of the company we are by far the leanest and fastest devs in the company. Our projects have half the devs as our corporate overlords do and we accomplish things way faster.
The only problem we have is with so much freedom theres two devs that drag their feet and massively over evaluate how long a ticket will take. When theres an inherent trust in your employees there is bound to be those who fuck with that. But they do get work done so would you rather have a few more PMs crack a whip or just consider it breakage?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 450 |
programmerhumor | philipquarles | i2cn47h | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I keep telling you people, it's not possible to predict the future with perfect accuracy!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 343 |
programmerhumor | Shiro1994 | i2cozgj | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Its almost done, I just need 1-2 workdays.
Continuing with meetings the whole day until sprint end.
Why is it not done yet?
Dunno.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 301 |
programmerhumor | razuten | i2cw979 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>AHHHHHHHH DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS<|eor|><|sor|>"I'm in this picture and I don't like it"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 263 |
programmerhumor | Dr4kk0nnys | i2cwrpj | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, during sprint planning: this is going to be an easy task, two points
Also me: *takes the entire sprint to finish that same two point task* <|eor|><|sor|>"How long is it gonna take ?"
"I dunno, two days, maybe ?"
*proceeds to finish in 2 months*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 222 |
programmerhumor | djc6535 | i2d3cl9 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I keep telling you people, it's not possible to predict the future with perfect accuracy!<|eor|><|sor|>When I was a young gun we had an old grey beard who would respond to estimate requests like this:
How long will it take to fix my car?
Whats wrong with it?
You mean you have to know what the problem is before giving an estimate?!?!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 215 |
programmerhumor | billiam632 | i2cqhus | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|sor|>My company is fucking dope like this. My CEO has basically said to us all if you start getting bogged down turn off slack and hammer things out. We have minimal meetings, 2 to 4 a week, and Ill routinely take them when I can. My PMs are pretty good people that understand flow and will just cater to the devs when they have a massive release.
Because my area of the company is cut off from the rest of the company we are by far the leanest and fastest devs in the company. Our projects have half the devs as our corporate overlords do and we accomplish things way faster.
The only problem we have is with so much freedom theres two devs that drag their feet and massively over evaluate how long a ticket will take. When theres an inherent trust in your employees there is bound to be those who fuck with that. But they do get work done so would you rather have a few more PMs crack a whip or just consider it breakage?<|eor|><|sor|>I was going to say this as a PM i encourage my devs to tell me to fuck off to focus on their top priorities. I dont always have full visibility on what they are working on (agency life) so I trust them to literally ignore my pings and Ill deal with the blow back myself.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 202 |
programmerhumor | awhhh | i2croih | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|sor|>My company is fucking dope like this. My CEO has basically said to us all if you start getting bogged down turn off slack and hammer things out. We have minimal meetings, 2 to 4 a week, and Ill routinely take them when I can. My PMs are pretty good people that understand flow and will just cater to the devs when they have a massive release.
Because my area of the company is cut off from the rest of the company we are by far the leanest and fastest devs in the company. Our projects have half the devs as our corporate overlords do and we accomplish things way faster.
The only problem we have is with so much freedom theres two devs that drag their feet and massively over evaluate how long a ticket will take. When theres an inherent trust in your employees there is bound to be those who fuck with that. But they do get work done so would you rather have a few more PMs crack a whip or just consider it breakage?<|eor|><|sor|>I was going to say this as a PM i encourage my devs to tell me to fuck off to focus on their top priorities. I dont always have full visibility on what they are working on (agency life) so I trust them to literally ignore my pings and Ill deal with the blow back myself.<|eor|><|sor|>This is literally what I believe a PM is suppose to do. Trust us to get things done, vouch for us, shield us from the stress of the higher ups strange expectations, and work with us on tasks. If we dont live up to our end of the deal usually were pissing off another dev and theyll go to the PM to be dealt with because theyre slowing us down. Its this type of stuff that makes me not afraid for me to take responsibility for myself when I fuck up and tell the whole team<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 145 |
programmerhumor | coniferous-1 | i2d2gf8 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>AHHHHHHHH DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS<|eor|><|sor|>Either I can be the bullshit/distraction shield for the junior developers, or my estimates can be accurate. Take your pick.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 132 |
programmerhumor | Slaan | i2cxhv4 | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, during sprint planning: this is going to be an easy task, two points
Also me: *takes the entire sprint to finish that same two point task* <|eor|><|sor|>As a Dev turned PO - in my book such things are fine as long as I get told "hey the thing we thought was easy? Yea turns out we miscalculated, will be an 8" - I can work with that and then see what to kick out of the sprint.
I had teams that had those realizations and just kept saying "soon" and we will accomplish the sprint (right until like 2 days before end of sprint) :(.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 121 |
programmerhumor | IveGotATinyRick | i2cwyww | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, during sprint planning: this is going to be an easy task, two points
Also me: *takes the entire sprint to finish that same two point task* <|eor|><|sor|>"How long is it gonna take ?"
"I dunno, two days, maybe ?"
*proceeds to finish in 2 months*<|eor|><|sor|>Im a programmer, not a psychic. Gees.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 121 |
programmerhumor | undatedseapiece | i2citce | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|sor|>2 hours is a little crazy, I personally think 30 minutes is more apt but every project is different I guess<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 111 |
programmerhumor | Dotakiin2 | i2cjp1v | <|sols|><|sot|>After every scrum meeting<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/m63ph6fgiyp81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>A good cop out strategy is claim it will be done with no distractions in 2 days.... PM can't stop sending status emails on other issues so I always have an out.<|eor|><|sor|>I use this all the time. Essentially, "There are about 20 hours of work left, but there is about a 2 hour spool up time before progress can be made on that 20 hours. If anything jumps in to interrupt the devs, they will have to address that new problem then start their 2 hour spool up time all over again. As an example, getting 3 hours straight, then interrupted to work on something for 2 hours, then another 3 hours straight will result in 2 hours of progress being made on the project. This is just a fact of development. You either have to run interference and keep everyone out of the dev team's hair, or accept that it's going to take forever." I will admit that being constantly interrupted for BS (even though you were repeatedly told that the project was priority number 1) every time you finally get to spooling up will cause this anxiety feedback loop of, "I'm not even going to bother getting started because I know I'll get interrupted before I can make any progress." Then you'll burn days practically doing nothing and think, "fuck it, I can do this. I'ma just shut everything out and knock this thing out." It is about 90 minutes into your spool up that those bastards are BEATING DOWN YOUR DOOR as a mother fucking horde with all these problems that only exist because end users are idiots. "What do you mean I broke the entire process because I didn't follow my SOP and uploaded a completely different data format that doesn't even contain the data we are trying to process?"
Edit: Because some people don't know what I mean, [here is an old comic](https://img.devrant.com/devrant/rant/r_55338_NBSDq.jpg) that illustrates this that I have hanging on the entrance to my dev area.<|eor|><|sor|>2 hours is a little crazy, I personally think 30 minutes is more apt but every project is different I guess<|eor|><|sor|>I would say I take about an hour the first time each day, and about 30 minutes any other times. It can take a while to connect to the vpn, sign into all of the internal systems, start my local dev server etc. If I am interrupted, I just need to get back into the right head space, which takes anywhere from 10-45 mins depending on the complexity and how many other systems I am working with.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 108 |
programmerhumor | iiCaesium | y9lpe4 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dropbox, the new git.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/hyyapbqpp3v91.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 60,690 |
programmerhumor | SlyTrade | it69sd4 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dropbox, the new git.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/hyyapbqpp3v91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Clone your repo to Dropbox... redundancy lvl 999<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,731 |
programmerhumor | Teekoo | it6f9af | <|sols|><|sot|>Dropbox, the new git.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/hyyapbqpp3v91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Project_FINAL_FINAL2.zip<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 5,426 |
programmerhumor | georgelinardis | it6bpm6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dropbox, the new git.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/hyyapbqpp3v91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Naah, better print code and keep printed copies instead<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,447 |
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