subreddit stringclasses 7
values | author stringlengths 3 20 | id stringlengths 5 7 | content stringlengths 67 30.4k | score int64 0 140k |
|---|---|---|---|---|
programmerhumor | hamuraijack | ht2o6ww | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>More like, Me when a startup insists on using Mongo on highly coupled, relational data<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 427 |
programmerhumor | elonmusque | ht2xbc3 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>DELETE FROM memories;
Wait...<|eor|><|sor|>8274746183746252 rows affected.<|eor|><|sor|>out of memory<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 413 |
programmerhumor | Dustangelms | ht2b05e | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>Abandon SQL, return to .xls.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 362 |
programmerhumor | noelmatta | ht2v4gj | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>My first job way back in 2008, I only had to know one SQL query for my workflow:
SELECT * FROM PLMASTERFORMLIST WHERE FORMCODE LIKE [enter code of document Ive been assigned]
To this day, I put MySQL on my resume if needed lol<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 298 |
programmerhumor | onepixelcat | ht3ess0 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>DELETE FROM memories;
Wait...<|eor|><|sor|>8274746183746252 rows affected.<|eor|><|sor|>out of memory<|eor|><|sor|>what is memory?<|eor|><|sor|>db don't hurt me<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 297 |
programmerhumor | felipunkerito | ht2jhbh | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories WHERE noSleep = 1;
EDIT: This is SQL not the fucking terminal or python, added the closing semi colon.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 290 |
programmerhumor | VARice22 | ht2qzk6 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I... ... actually liked Databases ... it was fun<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 267 |
programmerhumor | iBac0n | ht359tz | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>DELETE FROM memories;
Wait...<|eor|><|sor|>8274746183746252 rows affected.<|eor|><|sor|>out of memory<|eor|><|sor|>what is memory?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 249 |
programmerhumor | wikipedia_answer_bot | ht35awh | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>DELETE FROM memories;
Wait...<|eor|><|sor|>8274746183746252 rows affected.<|eor|><|sor|>out of memory<|eor|><|sor|>what is memory?<|eor|><|sor|>**Memory is the faculty of the brain by which data or information is encoded, stored, and retrieved when needed. It is the retention of information over time for the purpose of influencing future action.**
More details here: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memory>
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 223 |
programmerhumor | wikipedia_answer_bot | ht3ihh0 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>SELECT * FROM memories ;<|eor|><|sor|>DELETE FROM memories;
Wait...<|eor|><|sor|>8274746183746252 rows affected.<|eor|><|sor|>out of memory<|eor|><|sor|>what is memory?<|eor|><|sor|>**Memory is the faculty of the brain by which data or information is encoded, stored, and retrieved when needed. It is the retention of information over time for the purpose of influencing future action.**
More details here: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memory>
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)<|eor|><|sor|>Who's Steve Jobs?<|eor|><|sor|>Ligma balls :D
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 223 |
programmerhumor | mosskin-woast | ht2top6 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>More like, Me when a startup insists on using Mongo on highly coupled, relational data<|eor|><|sor|>This. Model your fucking data! A schemaless DB is not an excuse to skip straight to writing code!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 222 |
programmerhumor | xxVordhosbnxx | ht2i7v7 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I want Anti-SQL, opposite of structured query, like asking pointless questions and hoping the data arrives<|eor|><|sor|>So, you could just query reddit?<|eor|><|sor|>It's like posting a question on r/AskReddit or relationship advice sub<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 205 |
programmerhumor | Frosty_Eyes | ht38z16 | <|sols|><|sot|>It's hard to keep up<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/tl686e7n3ac81.gif<|eol|><|sor|>I'm trying to find a job doing Serverless No-Code NoSQL.
I figure I won't have to do anything at all!<|eor|><|sor|>You misspelled devops<|eor|><|sor|>I feel attacked.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 202 |
programmerhumor | Macadooz___ | 10rv8sy | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 49,993 |
programmerhumor | beeteedee | j6y77pv | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Alright, fetch the iron oxide. Its time to redraw this in rust.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 3,990 |
programmerhumor | riplikash | j6xv4xj | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,657 |
programmerhumor | Strostkovy | j6yllxn | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>We need an arcane symbol programming language where as the program gets bigger the symbols just get more and more complex<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,298 |
programmerhumor | goodnewsjimdotcom | j6yky1h | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|sor|>There's different schools of wizardy when it comes to coding.
Java = Your standard Hogwarts by the book.
Javascript = Undomesticated Chaos magic
Hacking = A dark semi unified cult who does not trust each other, but share information.
CounterHacking = Arcane spell thieves who infiltrate the cult of hackers to gain their information, but do not share with anyone, not even other counterhackers... Their magic is unpredictable because no other wizards may use it. They can't even mention they're wizards for they lose their power if people know who they are.
Bumbling Cartoonish Wizards like Orco or the guy from D&D cartoon: Your Jr. Devs/Interns<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 975 |
programmerhumor | nikoberg | j6ypc3c | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>We need an arcane symbol programming language where as the program gets bigger the symbols just get more and more complex<|eor|><|sor|>That just gave me an idea for a project I'll spend every other night working on for 3 weeks before abandoning the idea forever.
A toy that turns code into cool-looking arcane symbols would be neat though.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 870 |
programmerhumor | Astrokiwi | j6zabt4 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Alright, fetch the iron oxide. Its time to redraw this in rust.<|eor|><|sor|>"I'm more concerned by the giant snake"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 831 |
programmerhumor | netheroth | j70d6p6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Alright, fetch the iron oxide. Its time to redraw this in rust.<|eor|><|sor|>"I'm more concerned by the giant snake"<|eor|><|sor|>"Don't worry, I gave it some clothes to distract it. It's not good at handling threads"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 626 |
programmerhumor | KryssCom | j6yfbm3 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Alright, fetch the iron oxide. Its time to redraw this in rust.<|eor|><|sor|>10/10 joke, please accept this fake award <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 444 |
programmerhumor | NoEngrish | j6z5gzk | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>We need an arcane symbol programming language where as the program gets bigger the symbols just get more and more complex<|eor|><|sor|>That just gave me an idea for a project I'll spend every other night working on for 3 weeks before abandoning the idea forever.
A toy that turns code into cool-looking arcane symbols would be neat though.<|eor|><|sor|>> A toy that turns code into cool-looking arcane symbols would be neat though.
Some variation on translating regular syntax to circular gallifreyan may work<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 367 |
programmerhumor | Sijder | j6yq2dg | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I feel like there is a book in which the magick system is akin to programming, definitelly triggers something in my mind, but I cant remember the name of it<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 317 |
programmerhumor | unphil | j6ysdvq | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I feel like there is a book in which the magick system is akin to programming, definitelly triggers something in my mind, but I cant remember the name of it<|eor|><|sor|>The Wizard's Bane by Rick Cook. Might be better known as The Wiz Biz, which is actually the first two books by Cook in his Wizardry series in one binding.
Programmer gets sucked into fantasy world, figures out that he can code magic and it makes him a super-wizard.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 241 |
programmerhumor | jpers36 | j6yrmue | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|sor|>There's different schools of wizardy when it comes to coding.
Java = Your standard Hogwarts by the book.
Javascript = Undomesticated Chaos magic
Hacking = A dark semi unified cult who does not trust each other, but share information.
CounterHacking = Arcane spell thieves who infiltrate the cult of hackers to gain their information, but do not share with anyone, not even other counterhackers... Their magic is unpredictable because no other wizards may use it. They can't even mention they're wizards for they lose their power if people know who they are.
Bumbling Cartoonish Wizards like Orco or the guy from D&D cartoon: Your Jr. Devs/Interns<|eor|><|sor|>What about network engineer, data scientists or programmers who program in verilog or assembly<|eor|><|sor|>Network Engineer = [Medium](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mediumship)
Data Scientist = [Alchemist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alchemy)
Assembly Programmer = [Shaman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamanism)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 237 |
programmerhumor | duckduckhere | j6yo786 | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Definitely, I need Arcane Overflow in my life.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 213 |
programmerhumor | Dependent-Spiritual | j6yfrgy | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>If the spell falls apart without the symbol, then by definition it would be necessary, no? :P<|eor|><|sor|>I think that they meant that it shouldn't be necessary but it still for some unknown reason is<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 213 |
programmerhumor | Salanmander | j6zhtaz | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|sor|>I teach CS in high school, and my intro spiel goes something like this:
"Most people use computers all the time. Our phones are computers, we work and play with computers, they're *everywhere*. But to most people, they're just black magic. They know what the computers do, but have no idea how they work.
So if computers are black magic...those of us who understand them, and can make them do what we want? That makes us wizards.
Welcome to wizardry 101."
Depending on how I feel, I sometimes go into the idea of anyone being able to use computer interfaces to invoke spells that have already been written, and us wizards having the ability to write new spells by describing very precisely the magic that we want to happen.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 211 |
programmerhumor | The_Real_Slim_Lemon | j6ze9gv | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Theres literally anime about ex software devs being isekaid into anime worlds and dominating the magic scene<|eor|><|sor|>Name?<|eor|><|sor|>It would not surprise if it was I was a programmer, but now I live in a fantasy world and hacked its magic system using my skills from my former life<|eor|><|sor|>People name anime the way I name my variables nowadays<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 181 |
programmerhumor | mosskin-woast | j6z63qa | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|sor|>There's different schools of wizardy when it comes to coding.
Java = Your standard Hogwarts by the book.
Javascript = Undomesticated Chaos magic
Hacking = A dark semi unified cult who does not trust each other, but share information.
CounterHacking = Arcane spell thieves who infiltrate the cult of hackers to gain their information, but do not share with anyone, not even other counterhackers... Their magic is unpredictable because no other wizards may use it. They can't even mention they're wizards for they lose their power if people know who they are.
Bumbling Cartoonish Wizards like Orco or the guy from D&D cartoon: Your Jr. Devs/Interns<|eor|><|sor|>Please continue. This tickles the imagination.<|eor|><|sor|>Agreed.
Here some ideas:
C, rust, python, html, c#,...<|eor|><|sor|>C - used by the old wizard who writes the spells everyone else uses. The Python wizards don't fully appreciate how much power they draw from her.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 180 |
programmerhumor | Aufklarung_Lee | j6yn1gx | <|sols|><|sot|>Dont question it<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/7r2tjc9loufa1.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I still think the best real world analogue to "wizard" is "software developer".<|eor|><|sor|>There's different schools of wizardy when it comes to coding.
Java = Your standard Hogwarts by the book.
Javascript = Undomesticated Chaos magic
Hacking = A dark semi unified cult who does not trust each other, but share information.
CounterHacking = Arcane spell thieves who infiltrate the cult of hackers to gain their information, but do not share with anyone, not even other counterhackers... Their magic is unpredictable because no other wizards may use it. They can't even mention they're wizards for they lose their power if people know who they are.
Bumbling Cartoonish Wizards like Orco or the guy from D&D cartoon: Your Jr. Devs/Interns<|eor|><|sor|>Please continue. This tickles the imagination.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 179 |
programmerhumor | tomzorzhu | ah2zlm | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 49,980 |
programmerhumor | mr-peabody | eeb6fhq | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>"Meh, works in my kitchen."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,166 |
programmerhumor | tomzorzhu | eeb22z6 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|soopr|>Generational garbage collection: when you let your kids / parents deal with the trash<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,690 |
programmerhumor | tomzorzhu | eeb000t | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|soopr|>Bonus reply: https://i.imgur.com/xudQXK6.png<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,659 |
programmerhumor | princetrunks | eebhf2z | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>Client: Complains that it wasn't carrot cake though they only gave a single, dryed out carrot
Programmer: "I would need flour, eggs, sugar and other ingredients as well as more time to work on it"
Client: "What does that even mean? I don't speak 'cook'. you don't get additional time as there's a presentation to show this off today that I never told you about"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 1,252 |
programmerhumor | DrMaxwellEdison | eebxv66 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>Client: Complains that it wasn't carrot cake though they only gave a single, dryed out carrot
Programmer: "I would need flour, eggs, sugar and other ingredients as well as more time to work on it"
Client: "What does that even mean? I don't speak 'cook'. you don't get additional time as there's a presentation to show this off today that I never told you about"<|eor|><|sor|>Client fails to mention this is for a birthday party happening later that day.
You decide to dice the carrot and sprinkle it over top of a cardboard cutout of a cake slice, slap a "beta" sticker on it, and your marketing team convinces the client that you'll be able to swap in a real slice of cake just in time for production.
The candles are lit, the party goers sing Happy Birthday, and just as the birthday boy makes his wish, AWS goes down and the cake slice is replaced by the Chrome dinosaur leaping off the table.
All the while, the QA ~~tasters~~ testers are busy eating carrot cake, chocolate cake, yellow 5 cake, urinal cake, kaidjrbekcmc, 99 cakes, a kale cake, a streusel, a block of cheese, `cake"; --`, Lorem Ipsum cake, and a spoonful of frosting/icing/fondant/syrup/cocoa. They write a bug report for "lack of milk" at 4:55pm on Friday and head home.
**Edit:** you log in from home on Saturday to finish things up real quick, which takes approximately 10 hours given you had to spend half the time waiting for the weekend help desk to respond to your call regarding VPN problems. Turns out someone pushed out a new version of the protocol on Thursday by accident, bypassing the normal pipeline, yet they figured no one important would notice, so they had planned to announce the changes Tuesday morning.
Your spouse is irate that you had to spend all day working on a weekend (though in your downtime you managed to craft a nifty but useless piece of fruit cake to keep your sanity), and they demand you march straight into your boss's office Monday to give them a piece of your ~~spouse's~~ mind.
As you do just that at 10am (your normal start time), your manager says "thanks for meeting with me on such short notice". Confused, you stealthily check your email on your phone, which only now syncs up with the Exchange server that was offline all weekend to show you the meeting invite they had sent on Sunday morning.
The manager states the company is moving in a "new direction", in this case the general direction of Mumbai, where a new team of bakers is patiently waiting to speak with you so that they can now make the carrot cakes. Recalling that it is currently around 8:45pm local time in Mumbai right now, you are quite surprised to find they are literally waiting in their office for this call to go over the technical specs for the cakes.
The week goes by in a blur of writing documentation, setting up OpenOven remotely (noting that the version they installed is 4 releases behind and only supports square cake pans), reviewing cakes committed by the new team (which, for the first couple days, were all missing flour), and updating your LinkedIn profile. Sure enough, Friday rolls around, and the manager calls you into their office to fire you.
As severance, you are awarded a gold coin. The manager, with shit-eating grin, gestures subtly as though waiting for a response.
"Uh... Thanks for the gold?"
**Edit 2:** "You're quite welcome," your former manager blurts out, clearly waiting for the moment to say it rather than genuinely meaning it.
You make your way out of the building, reflecting on your storied 3-year tenure as "Assistant Vice President Consulting Cakes Baker VI". You note that everyone you originally worked with is no longer with the company, either: from the Pies division being shut down last year to the slow attrition of skilled chocolatiers, this place just isn't what it used to be when you first learned about it at the Bake Fair you attended back in college.
Bitter, tired, and still smelling faintly of maple, you go home to research your options. After making a post on r/talesfrombakers, one commenter notes "IANAL", but that it sounds like your firing may not have been entirely legal. They advise you to look into your options.
Six months later, you've been supporting yourself with freelance pastry work (consequently, you have developed very, *very* strong opinions regarding wooden spoons) while working with a lawyer who specializes in employment issues in the sweet-tech industry. They inform you that they've negotiated a settlement with your former employer, and for the first time in years you feel a sense of relief.
That is, until you learn that the settlement compensation is Yet Another Gold Coin.
You sigh in defeat and slink down into your chair, then slowly reach for "it": that single, perfect recipe card every baker possesses. It's elegant, bug-free, healthy. Of course it's also completely devoid of flavor, making it utterly useless for production, but still it's *yours* and it's *flawless*.
A solitary tear rolls down your cheek, where it crystallizes into a lump of sugar.
**Edit 2.01:** *Formatting fixes.*
**Edit 3:** Another few months have passed and you feel confident that you can leave that ugly chapter behind you and start looking for greener pastures. You decide, at first, to take the phrase literally, and invest a bit too heavily in green food coloring. You now know your city health inspector by name due to the almost-daily house visits regarding the contents of your home's sewage lines.
While talking with the inspector, they ask about your line of work. You sheepishly admit to being a freelance cake baker, knowing well what you're in for next. Right on cue, the inspector's eyes light up and they begin detailing their idea for an amazing app[etizer] that they think could be the next Facecook or Instagraham. They ask if you'd be interested in working on it for free and sharing the profits later. When you decline (with a level of diplomacy obtained through years of practice), they scrunch their face in bewilderment, as though you've just passed up on buying CandyApple stock on the ground floor.
After they leave, an idea does come to your mind. It's gone in a flash as you recall you left sugar burning on the stovetop, but once that's handled, the idea returns and you start working out the details.
Another month later and you stand proudly before your masterpiece: that *fucking* carrot cake. You made it open source under MIT license, compatible with all major versions of sugar and flour, containerized for standard Tupperware 2.2x, modular for vegan and gluten-free diets (though you ignored that one issue raised a week ago regarding keto, for moral reasons), and with customizable icing templates. Your feeling of satisfaction is palpable - literally, you ate a piece and felt satisfied.
A day later and you've thrown together some documentation on your GitGrub. You post about it eagerly on r/learnbaking. Commenters are throwing praise at it, and there's even talk of modifying your recipe to supplant the widely-used-yet-unbeknownst-to-you Cakery library that hasn't been maintained in years, ever since the original authors split violently over the issue of salted vs. unsalted butter (this was apparently big news last year, but you were too busy working to notice it and no one at your old job mentioned it).
A few days later, one Redditor sends you a private message, asking if they could send you a gift in the mail. You agree, and give them your address.
A week later, a small package arrives on your doorstep. You open it to find...
...a gold coin.
A note is attached: your former employer. Or, rather, their legal department. You're being sued for copyright infringement.
**Edit 3.01 Legacy Security Update:** *Typo corrected*
**Live Free or Edit Hard:** *Continued, next comment, because I ran out of room :(*<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 798 |
programmerhumor | EnkiiMuto | eebemau | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>"Meh, works in my kitchen."<|eor|><|sor|>Basically when people justify their oven settings.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 562 |
programmerhumor | captionUnderstanding | eebdh05 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>Still, you hack it based on a solution provided by a totally unknown guy in the internet and it works just enough for your use case.<|eor|><|sor|>"For some reason it still works on carrots if you hold it by the blade and peel with the handle. Don't ask me why"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 535 |
programmerhumor | Private-Public | eebc2h2 | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|soopr|>Generational garbage collection: when you let your kids / parents deal with the trash<|eoopr|><|sor|>The classic "We don't need a dishwasher, we already have some. They're called kids."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 534 |
programmerhumor | KoboldCommando | eeb9p6n | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>C++ is a classic industrial kitchen where everything's nice and orderly and runs well with a disciplined team, but it's a hell of a time doing it all yourself and it needs a long cleaning session every day.
Java is a home kitchen with an inlaid sink, garbage disposal and dishwasher, so you just sweep everything into the sink and chuck the dishes in the washer.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 319 |
programmerhumor | CharaNalaar | eebgv1s | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|soopr|>Bonus reply: https://i.imgur.com/xudQXK6.png<|eoopr|><|sor|>You really don't have a carrot?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 290 |
programmerhumor | definestructunion | eebbmpx | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>C++ is a classic industrial kitchen where everything's nice and orderly and runs well with a disciplined team, but it's a hell of a time doing it all yourself and it needs a long cleaning session every day.
Java is a home kitchen with an inlaid sink, garbage disposal and dishwasher, so you just sweep everything into the sink and chuck the dishes in the washer.<|eor|><|sor|>Except the garbage disposal is sentient as decides when it turns on<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 260 |
programmerhumor | gremy0 | eebg8ho | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>The last guy left me with a pot of beef stew. He said it only needed seasoned and reheated, but he's used diced carrots instead of sliced. So I've decided to remake it as a chicken pie. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 210 |
programmerhumor | Thorbinator | eebhq6a | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>"Meh, works in my kitchen."<|eor|><|sor|>Basically when people justify their oven settings.<|eor|><|sor|>Oven temperatures are black magic, similar to compiling it again after only changing superficial stuff. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 208 |
programmerhumor | Private-Public | eebch1m | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|soopr|>Generational garbage collection: when you let your kids / parents deal with the trash<|eoopr|><|sor|>The classic "We don't need a dishwasher, we already have some. They're called kids."<|eor|><|sor|>This only kicks in once the kids are in beta. <|eor|><|sor|>Earlier versions are too unstable and prone to breaking things<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 207 |
programmerhumor | DrDiv | eebh9pi | <|sols|><|sot|>Why programmers like cooking<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/33zxh2st02b21.png<|eol|><|soopr|>Bonus reply: https://i.imgur.com/xudQXK6.png<|eoopr|><|sor|>Oh god the accuracy. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 175 |
programmerhumor | taranasus | mdi1r9 | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 49,922 |
programmerhumor | Dmon1Unlimited | gs9uazb | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 2,520 |
programmerhumor | manGotNuts | gs9q692 | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>Major blocker in prod
Junior dev: *gasping for air* *panic mode nonstop* *anxiety incoming*
Senior dev: "how many user use that part of system? Two? Just carry the f on"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 828 |
programmerhumor | taranasus | gs9ud2w | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|soopr|>I am so sorry :(<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 632 |
programmerhumor | ghost_rider_007 | gs9m39s | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I am senior dev but don't have anyone under me. So I still look like the one in first image been a senior dev.
Edit : I did think this will blow up like this. I think I should explain my situation.
I got my new job as a senior software engineer (Android) 2 weeks ago. I was assigned to a bank project. Since security is first priority in the system PM said it will take a while for me to get access to things like design files, repos, requirements...
So this app has a screen were users can submit a document by capturing a photo. Problem is it designed to have a small area of rectangular area to show the capturing area. Android camera preview can't be set in to any size we want without making preview stretch. So I have to have my full screen while make sure that capture image visible indside that rectangular area. An top of that I have to detect whether image is blur and other image processing validations.
So as you may guess this involves lots of R&D parts falls in to areas like image processing and machine learning which I don't have any knowledge. I want my first impression to be good one and I didn't want this as my first task. Inside my head I was like "OMG why ??? " And I felt little stressed. Been a senior software engineer is no picnic in the park that's why I commented that. Even if someone under me I have to give them the easy parts and get this one for myself.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 566 |
programmerhumor | JiggySockJob | gs9omvv | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I just started watching this show. Weird how stuff like that happens.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 440 |
programmerhumor | ckomni | gs9yjkh | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|soopr|>I am so sorry :(<|eoopr|><|sor|>https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/018/459/53697461.jpg
Anyone got any roles for a newly senior dev
Don't ask what my last project was like<|eor|><|sor|>I have a theory that any Silicon Valley tech startup that didnt fizzle out was solely due to just one or two engineers that were inordinately resilient to burnout<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 428 |
programmerhumor | Dmon1Unlimited | gs9umsp | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|soopr|>I am so sorry :(<|eoopr|><|sor|>https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/018/459/53697461.jpg
Anyone got any roles for a newly senior dev
Don't ask what my last project was like<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 426 |
programmerhumor | MegaGrimer | gs9y569 | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I just started watching this show. Weird how stuff like that happens.<|eor|><|sor|>What show is this?<|eor|><|sor|>Lost<|eor|><|sor|>Im Lost too. What show is it?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 365 |
programmerhumor | DozerNine | gs9wfpd | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>Major blocker in prod
Junior dev: *gasping for air* *panic mode nonstop* *anxiety incoming*
Senior dev: "how many user use that part of system? Two? Just carry the f on"<|eor|><|sor|>This guy Devs<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 298 |
programmerhumor | JiggySockJob | gs9qbed | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I just started watching this show. Weird how stuff like that happens.<|eor|><|sor|>What show is this?<|eor|><|sor|>Lost<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 258 |
programmerhumor | MrDude_1 | gs9zt9p | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>Major blocker in prod
Junior dev: *gasping for air* *panic mode nonstop* *anxiety incoming*
Senior dev: "how many user use that part of system? Two? Just carry the f on"<|eor|><|sor|>How does this effect production?
It's the number one priority? do I put it behind all the other number one priorities, in front of the other number one priorities or does it go somewhere in the middle of the number one priorities?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 206 |
programmerhumor | AnimalPedophile | gs9rgmv | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I am senior dev but don't have anyone under me. So I still look like the one in first image been a senior dev.
Edit : I did think this will blow up like this. I think I should explain my situation.
I got my new job as a senior software engineer (Android) 2 weeks ago. I was assigned to a bank project. Since security is first priority in the system PM said it will take a while for me to get access to things like design files, repos, requirements...
So this app has a screen were users can submit a document by capturing a photo. Problem is it designed to have a small area of rectangular area to show the capturing area. Android camera preview can't be set in to any size we want without making preview stretch. So I have to have my full screen while make sure that capture image visible indside that rectangular area. An top of that I have to detect whether image is blur and other image processing validations.
So as you may guess this involves lots of R&D parts falls in to areas like image processing and machine learning which I don't have any knowledge. I want my first impression to be good one and I didn't want this as my first task. Inside my head I was like "OMG why ??? " And I felt little stressed. Been a senior software engineer is no picnic in the park that's why I commented that. Even if someone under me I have to give them the easy parts and get this one for myself.<|eor|><|sor|>Sir you look like you need more problems in life<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 198 |
programmerhumor | felipeatsix | gs9uicf | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I am junior, and I applied to an internal position in a different team for C# dev, the guy didn't want to hire me because he said I still would need some more training and they needed someone ready, I was still offered another position in another pod of that same team with smaller projects.
But just after some time a business move happened and now I'm on the same team being managed by the guy who explicitly said I'm noob, so now I work all the time knowing my manager thinks I'm shit, I can't wait to see what's going to be in my review cycle.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 192 |
programmerhumor | Noughmad | gs9xlni | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I am senior dev but don't have anyone under me. So I still look like the one in first image been a senior dev.
Edit : I did think this will blow up like this. I think I should explain my situation.
I got my new job as a senior software engineer (Android) 2 weeks ago. I was assigned to a bank project. Since security is first priority in the system PM said it will take a while for me to get access to things like design files, repos, requirements...
So this app has a screen were users can submit a document by capturing a photo. Problem is it designed to have a small area of rectangular area to show the capturing area. Android camera preview can't be set in to any size we want without making preview stretch. So I have to have my full screen while make sure that capture image visible indside that rectangular area. An top of that I have to detect whether image is blur and other image processing validations.
So as you may guess this involves lots of R&D parts falls in to areas like image processing and machine learning which I don't have any knowledge. I want my first impression to be good one and I didn't want this as my first task. Inside my head I was like "OMG why ??? " And I felt little stressed. Been a senior software engineer is no picnic in the park that's why I commented that. Even if someone under me I have to give them the easy parts and get this one for myself.<|eor|><|sor|>It's not really about having someone under you. It's more about getting used to everything is broken and not really worrying about it anymore.
As a senior dev without anyone under me, I'm 100% the one on the right.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 160 |
programmerhumor | CuntWizard | gsa7g6k | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|soopr|>I am so sorry :(<|eoopr|><|sor|>https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/018/459/53697461.jpg
Anyone got any roles for a newly senior dev
Don't ask what my last project was like<|eor|><|sor|>I have a theory that any Silicon Valley tech startup that didnt fizzle out was solely due to just one or two engineers that were inordinately resilient to burnout<|eor|><|sor|>Or they built the thing and THEN started the company around it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 158 |
programmerhumor | IllustriousBedroom91 | gs9q7ap | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I just started watching this show. Weird how stuff like that happens.<|eor|><|sor|>What show is this?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 153 |
programmerhumor | stanusNat | gs9zhm7 | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>All the senior devs left.
And they made me the captain of this sinking ship <|eor|><|sor|>Congrats, it's now your job to make it look as if it wasn't your fault as much as possible.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 148 |
programmerhumor | angrathias | gs9vtkj | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>I am junior, and I applied to an internal position in a different team for C# dev, the guy didn't want to hire me because he said I still would need some more training and they needed someone ready, I was still offered another position in another pod of that same team with smaller projects.
But just after some time a business move happened and now I'm on the same team being managed by the guy who explicitly said I'm noob, so now I work all the time knowing my manager thinks I'm shit, I can't wait to see what's going to be in my review cycle.<|eor|><|sor|>They probably did you a solid, all people need training, I hire 15 year c# devs and they still need 3-6 months to get up to scratch<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 142 |
programmerhumor | dudeofmoose | gs9kpix | <|sols|><|sot|>Me as a:<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/1pdh7x3pcbp61.png<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>I already tried, but it appears I've lost lost.
*Lost would make an excellent name for a programming language<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 121 |
programmerhumor | albenis99 | sp61vj | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 49,901 |
programmerhumor | Casporo | hwd2tck | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 674 |
programmerhumor | Caps_and_Hats | hwd2du2 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well if it is a job that deals with legacy code ig its fine. Sine your cs background is so old its already dust.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 511 |
programmerhumor | who_you_are | hwd5zee | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|sor|>_here we go again. The rush B but actually rush A_
_rush A_
_Bomb has been planted_
uh? Fuuuuu
_rush B_<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 258 |
programmerhumor | _captaincool | hwdeymw | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Im basically an expert in cs strats and best practices. I know the texture packs, mods, and physics like the back of my hands. Have you heard about peeking corner?
Recruiter: yeah I know some of those words, Im a technical recruiter after all<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 221 |
programmerhumor | stomah | hwd4zz7 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>should have desktop icons on top<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 205 |
programmerhumor | Eyes_and_teeth | hwdnp0i | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Interviewer: I see you have indicated you have NoSQL experience in your resume.
Me: That's right. I don't have any experience with SQL at all.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 183 |
programmerhumor | xibme | hwdjfu4 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Beta 1.3? When the m4 still had a scope and the silencer was fixed? They removed it somewhere around Beta 5. I was quite surprised not to zoom and shoot but watching the silencer animation for the rest of my players life the first time I played the new version.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 153 |
programmerhumor | Existing-Dog4513 | hwdpg5d | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|sor|>_here we go again. The rush B but actually rush A_
_rush A_
_Bomb has been planted_
uh? Fuuuuu
_rush B_<|eor|><|sor|>They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them, I have a theoretical degree in physics. They said "welcome aboard".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 113 |
programmerhumor | tmntfever | hwdjxkv | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Im basically an expert in cs strats and best practices. I know the texture packs, mods, and physics like the back of my hands. Have you heard about peeking corner?
Recruiter: yeah I know some of those words, Im a technical recruiter after all<|eor|><|sor|>"A lot of people prefer de_dust2, but I actually like the layout of de_dust1 more. And while most people would default to CV-47 or M4A1, the burst of the Clarion 5.56 has a better feel to it. You catch my drift?"
Recruiter: Yeah. 5.56. That was a good release version.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 101 |
programmerhumor | ComprehensiveTop5859 | hwdbfwt | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>about 20 years of experience<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 74 |
programmerhumor | albenis99 | hwdfg68 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well if it is a job that deals with legacy code ig its fine. Sine your cs background is so old its already dust.<|eor|><|soopr|>totally agree.<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 72 |
programmerhumor | troll_berserker | hwdnue3 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>should have desktop icons on top<|eor|><|sor|>Easy missed opportunity for a double pun.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 71 |
programmerhumor | itsdr00 | hwdrsio | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Beta 1.3? When the m4 still had a scope and the silencer was fixed? They removed it somewhere around Beta 5. I was quite surprised not to zoom and shoot but watching the silencer animation for the rest of my players life the first time I played the new version.<|eor|><|sor|>He means Version 1.3, after the betas. Good, proper flex though. For real; I started somewhere in Beta 4, where my little 11 year old self had an amazing run with a scoped colt on cs_siege, new favorite weapon. Then they removed the scope. I was devastated.
I learned recently that the beta period lasted just over a year. I was astonished. If you had asked me, I would've said they were releasing betas for years before they reached Version 1.0. Time was different back then.
EDIT: Check this out, for some nostalgia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbgV8KYBgOc<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 70 |
programmerhumor | albenis99 | hwdgfm4 | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|soopr|>the worst thing is when you are going to rush B , meanwhile rest of the team are rushing to A <|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 46 |
programmerhumor | rg25 | hwdd0yx | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Abramov seems like the type of guy who never played CS but would write this tweet.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 37 |
programmerhumor | Y5K77G | hwdx0dw | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>about 20 years of experience<|eor|><|sor|>20 years and still Silver I<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35 |
programmerhumor | CheviOk | hwdy08u | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|sor|>_here we go again. The rush B but actually rush A_
_rush A_
_Bomb has been planted_
uh? Fuuuuu
_rush B_<|eor|><|sor|>Aleksib is tactical genius. He is most know of his signature tactic "going B, but then going A". He also has second little known tactic of " going A, but going A. What a absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 35 |
programmerhumor | _BMS | hwdnhoe | <|sols|><|sot|>The best answer<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/4ywl9am870h81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Rush B.<|eor|><|soopr|>the worst thing is when you are going to rush B , meanwhile rest of the team are rushing to A <|eoopr|><|sor|>If the rest of the team is rushing A, you should probably also be going to A.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|> | 34 |
programmerhumor | nosam56 | vz8t4y | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 49,890 |
programmerhumor | wineblood | ig7372g | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>> And i fucked up the backup
Absolute legend<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 14,973 |
programmerhumor | realzequel | ig72a5q | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>If you're new, someone else fucked up giving you access to delete from production. Thats on them.
Edit: Thanks for the awards.<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 7,220 |
programmerhumor | Alediran | ig77beo | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>> And i fucked up the backup
Absolute legend<|eor|><|sor|>If you're going to do it, might as well do it properly.
EDIT: dang, this is my most upvoted post so far, solid 10% of my Karma.<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 5,257 |
programmerhumor | nosam56 | ig78c9m | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>If you're new, someone else fucked up giving you access to delete from production. Thats on them.
Edit: Thanks for the awards.<|eor|><|soopr|>I mean, 3 months in. This was my first time ever being granted Prod access and I'm crying<|eoopr|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 4,890 |
programmerhumor | oxwilder | ig73ljm | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>I was running a process on an AS400 through a sql connection that was going to upsert about 5 million rows and the CTO (who told me to run it in production) killed the process before asking anyone what it was because it was "slowing down the system." The entire company lost about a week's worth of work and they fired ME for it.<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 3,367 |
programmerhumor | dicaela10 | ig77wr8 | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>I screwed up around 2K records in a prod DB2 database back when I was a junior. During one of my performance reviews my manager mentioned that I "made a mistake" in production and should be more careful. I corrected him that I made 2000 mistakes in production. The conversation quickly shifted to my people skills and that I might be a bit too honest...<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 3,188 |
programmerhumor | Titans8Den | ig7dl4i | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>If you're new, someone else fucked up giving you access to delete from production. Thats on them.
Edit: Thanks for the awards.<|eor|><|soopr|>I mean, 3 months in. This was my first time ever being granted Prod access and I'm crying<|eoopr|><|sor|>About a year after being promoted to the senior programming staff, I let something run out of control that brought the whole system down on Christmas eve, which led to the CIO, Ops, and the senior devs being called into an emergency meeting on Christmas morning to rectify the problem.
You'll be fine.
Edit: who gave me an award talking about the one time I ruined everyone's Christmas?
Edit2: Jesus ok thanks everyone, but I have code to release tomorrow and I've already taken Monday off<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 2,201 |
programmerhumor | Abangranga | ig7556z | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>So what makes this interesting is how you fucked a backup<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 1,830 |
programmerhumor | OverlordPhalanx | ig7c8oq | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>> And i fucked up the backup
Absolute legend<|eor|><|sor|>If you're going to do it, might as well do it properly.
EDIT: dang, this is my most upvoted post so far, solid 10% of my Karma.<|eor|><|sor|>If you half-ass something, you will end up half-assing it twice!<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 1,648 |
programmerhumor | nosam56 | ig7dj80 | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>I screwed up around 2K records in a prod DB2 database back when I was a junior. During one of my performance reviews my manager mentioned that I "made a mistake" in production and should be more careful. I corrected him that I made 2000 mistakes in production. The conversation quickly shifted to my people skills and that I might be a bit too honest...<|eor|><|soopr|>Yep, I deleted about 11k records from a DB2/AS400 database. I told everyone in my group chat and my team lead immediately pulled me aside and was like "why would you tell *anyone* that?"<|eoopr|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 1,499 |
programmerhumor | Accomplished_Sir_861 | ig78j9k | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>If you're new, someone else fucked up giving you access to delete from production. Thats on them.
Edit: Thanks for the awards.<|eor|><|soopr|>I mean, 3 months in. This was my first time ever being granted Prod access and I'm crying<|eoopr|><|sor|>Oh damn thats gotta hurt<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 1,486 |
programmerhumor | hiddenforreasonsSV | ig70p2o | <|soss|><|sot|>It's official boys, I'm a real programmer now<|eot|><|sost|>Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.
Edit: 3 old men with very nice beards were very kind to me and helped me get it fixed. No impact to business. This is probably the luckiest I'll ever be<|eost|><|sor|>The worst thing I can think I've done similar to this is, I was asked to manually update a record to get it out of an error state for a customer. I executed the DELETE FROM command but forgot the WHERE clause. Luckily I saw what was happening before it completed and stopped the execution. Besides my greatly elevated heart rate no one knew what was happening.
ETA: Just my luck that my alt that I just created today gets more karma in a day than my main gets in a month.<|eor|><|eoss|><|endoftext|> | 1,376 |
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