subreddit
stringclasses
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author
stringlengths
3
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content
stringlengths
67
30.4k
score
int64
0
140k
programmerhumor
PUSH_AX
e7mzmmc
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Stars collapse under their own mass when its `node_modules` folder has more than 50 dependencies. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
359
programmerhumor
deathradio
e7n52mr
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does this subreddit like any languages or just hate all of them?<|eor|><|sor|>Just karma farming. Write *JavaScript is bad* and you get 4k upvotes. Simple.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
254
programmerhumor
Consibl
e7mwj1q
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>What about that guy Elon Musk killed by firing him into a planet driving a Tesla?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
206
programmerhumor
BITCH_DROWNER
e7n3wfu
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does this subreddit like any languages or just hate all of them?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
204
programmerhumor
burnmp3s
e7n00d7
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Mars could have had JS millions of years ago Will have to do some more research<|eor|><|soopr|>Maybe thats why there is no life on Mars anymore....<|eoopr|><|sor|>Mars has had millions of lines of C code running on it for years, and there have been zero human deaths on Mars during that time. <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
176
programmerhumor
PixxlMan
e7n5j6v
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does this subreddit like any languages or just hate all of them?<|eor|><|sor|>Just karma farming. Write *JavaScript is bad* and you get 4k upvotes. Simple.<|eor|><|soopr|>*6k<|eoopr|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
155
programmerhumor
I_am_the_inchworm
e7n64w2
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does anyone else find it sad we haven't managed to die on another planet yet?<|eor|><|sor|>Unacceptable, Im killing myself as soon as I get to the moon. Not having this...<|eor|><|sor|>I mean, it would be a small improvement. Still not another planet...<|eor|><|sor|>Yeah but one less /u/ballads4Llamas though. If he brings his mom for a murder-suicide he'll have killed a planet on a celestial body. That counts, kinda.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
140
programmerhumor
Trekiros
e7n3df8
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>So you're saying Venus has a toxic atmosphere just so it can defend itself from the threat of Javascript.<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Is there a venus.js? That's a stupid question, of course there is. (it'sfor unit tests or something)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
138
programmerhumor
PJvG
e7n01hx
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>What about that guy Elon Musk killed by firing him into a planet driving a Tesla?<|eor|><|sor|>Starman? He hasn't crashed yet: http://www.whereisroadster.com/<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
129
programmerhumor
burnmp3s
e7n10un
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Mars could have had JS millions of years ago Will have to do some more research<|eor|><|soopr|>Maybe thats why there is no life on Mars anymore....<|eoopr|><|sor|>Mars has had millions of lines of C code running on it for years, and there have been zero human deaths on Mars during that time. <|eor|><|sor|>I don't think the mars rover has millions of lines of code. The rover is pretty dumb.<|eor|><|sor|>The official JPL number for just Curiosity is [2.5 million](https://softwareengineering.stackexchange.com/questions/159637/what-is-the-mars-curiosity-rovers-software-built-in/159638#159638). Also don't call the rover dumb, you'll hurt its feelings.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
106
programmerhumor
D3mona7or
e7nb15v
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Stars collapse under their own mass when its `node_modules` folder has more than 50 dependencies. <|eor|><|sor|>Yikes, only 50? Is this a new project?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
103
programmerhumor
farkedup82
e7mzfgj
<|sols|><|sot|>I think not...<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/UYJIm2E.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does anyone else find it sad we haven't managed to die on another planet yet?<|eor|><|sor|>Unacceptable, Im killing myself as soon as I get to the moon. Not having this...<|eor|><|sor|>Moon is not a planet<|eor|><|sor|>fine... I'll do it as soon as I get to Pluto.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
90
programmerhumor
_megas
t41x39
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37,620
programmerhumor
Hk-Neowizard
hyvvhsh
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, every other morning<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
634
programmerhumor
Zszywek
hyw0fjw
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Btw, that's the photo of the professor who just read he got a Nobel prize<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
427
programmerhumor
Somerandomedude1q2w
hyw28x0
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, every other morning<|eor|><|sor|>I'll do you one better. That's me after I come back from lunch. Occasionally I can go take a shit and forget what I'm doing.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
373
programmerhumor
Atka11
hyw9wrt
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, every other morning<|eor|><|sor|>I'll do you one better. That's me after I come back from lunch. Occasionally I can go take a shit and forget what I'm doing.<|eor|><|sor|>me after blinking<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
186
programmerhumor
kinokofurai
hyw302a
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>that is why I put comments like // you are doing shit here and you realize that ... so you are doing this shit on the next day Edit: okay this is just a lazy example. As someone pointed out the comment is still unclear. What I usually write is something like // okay in order to solve the problem you tried to use a hashmap but then there is this small case that won't let you, so before you end the day you decided to try implementing a List... Edit again: It saves me time for the next day from 10 minutes up to 2 hours at most since I have a shitty memory.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
149
programmerhumor
Few_Importance_7615
hywa07a
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Thats why code comments exist: to inform the fools staring at it whats going on where, what does work, what doesn't, and why that weird bit of code is on line 167.... Just remember: in the morning, that fool is YOU. :p<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
94
programmerhumor
xyzzyx13
hywe5r1
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Btw, that's the photo of the professor who just read he got a Nobel prize<|eor|><|sor|>Yep, Michel Mayor.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
81
programmerhumor
Somerandomedude1q2w
hyw9xrb
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, every other morning<|eor|><|sor|>I'll do you one better. That's me after I come back from lunch. Occasionally I can go take a shit and forget what I'm doing.<|eor|><|sor|>me after blinking<|eor|><|sor|>Shit. You win.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
81
programmerhumor
ReactsWithWords
hyweq8w
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Btw, that's the photo of the professor who just read he got a Nobel prize<|eor|><|sor|>Yep, Michel Mayor.<|eor|><|sor|>The guy who voiced Shrek got a Nobel prize!?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
57
programmerhumor
DuckPresident1
hyw91fz
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>that is why I put comments like // you are doing shit here and you realize that ... so you are doing this shit on the next day Edit: okay this is just a lazy example. As someone pointed out the comment is still unclear. What I usually write is something like // okay in order to solve the problem you tried to use a hashmap but then there is this small case that won't let you, so before you end the day you decided to try implementing a List... Edit again: It saves me time for the next day from 10 minutes up to 2 hours at most since I have a shitty memory.<|eor|><|sor|>I leave one failing unit test to mark where to start the following day.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
49
programmerhumor
M-fz
hywjavh
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>that is why I put comments like // you are doing shit here and you realize that ... so you are doing this shit on the next day Edit: okay this is just a lazy example. As someone pointed out the comment is still unclear. What I usually write is something like // okay in order to solve the problem you tried to use a hashmap but then there is this small case that won't let you, so before you end the day you decided to try implementing a List... Edit again: It saves me time for the next day from 10 minutes up to 2 hours at most since I have a shitty memory.<|eor|><|sor|>I leave one failing unit test to mark where to start the following day.<|eor|><|sor|>test?<|eor|><|sor|>They mean: `Print(Here)`<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
41
programmerhumor
rajboy3
hyw0u3p
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>This is why I write shit down on a post it and stick it on my window<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
40
programmerhumor
Rabid_Raptor
hywg578
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>that is why I put comments like // you are doing shit here and you realize that ... so you are doing this shit on the next day Edit: okay this is just a lazy example. As someone pointed out the comment is still unclear. What I usually write is something like // okay in order to solve the problem you tried to use a hashmap but then there is this small case that won't let you, so before you end the day you decided to try implementing a List... Edit again: It saves me time for the next day from 10 minutes up to 2 hours at most since I have a shitty memory.<|eor|><|sor|>I leave one failing unit test to mark where to start the following day.<|eor|><|sor|>test?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
39
programmerhumor
Jaybold
hywjdoy
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Btw, that's the photo of the professor who just read he got a Nobel prize<|eor|><|sor|>Yep, Michel Mayor.<|eor|><|sor|>The guy who voiced Shrek got a Nobel prize!?<|eor|><|sor|>I mean, if that isn't worth a Nobel, nothing is.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
38
programmerhumor
MyNameIsSushi
hywqnv8
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>that is why I put comments like // you are doing shit here and you realize that ... so you are doing this shit on the next day Edit: okay this is just a lazy example. As someone pointed out the comment is still unclear. What I usually write is something like // okay in order to solve the problem you tried to use a hashmap but then there is this small case that won't let you, so before you end the day you decided to try implementing a List... Edit again: It saves me time for the next day from 10 minutes up to 2 hours at most since I have a shitty memory.<|eor|><|sor|>I leave one failing unit test to mark where to start the following day.<|eor|><|sor|>test?<|eor|><|sor|>They mean: `Print(Here)`<|eor|><|sor|>You mean ```Print("you dumb bitch this shouldnt print")``` I do it all the time.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
30
programmerhumor
CorrenteAlternata
hywm5nx
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Me, every other morning<|eor|><|sor|>I'll do you one better. That's me after I come back from lunch. Occasionally I can go take a shit and forget what I'm doing.<|eor|><|sor|>me after blinking<|eor|><|sor|>Shit. You win.<|eor|><|sor|>[deleted]<|eor|><|sor|>Don't ever blink. Blink and you die<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
28
programmerhumor
RexMinimus
hywe3l3
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>This is why I write shit down on a post it and stick it on my window<|eor|><|sor|>It works. At the end of the day I write down 3-5 of the most important things I need to do next. There's no more guessing what has to be done.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
27
programmerhumor
Jaybold
hywjloe
<|sols|><|sot|>Wait, what is happening here?<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/e42h95zg0qk81.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Thats why code comments exist: to inform the fools staring at it whats going on where, what does work, what doesn't, and why that weird bit of code is on line 167.... Just remember: in the morning, that fool is YOU. :p<|eor|><|sor|>We all know that code comments are for troubleshooting and "I replaced this code but what if I need it again in the future".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
21
programmerhumor
virgin_boi69
xfqjz8
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37,592
programmerhumor
zortlord
ionuobl
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
4,319
programmerhumor
Classy_Mouse
iooa1a6
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>You just know, somewhere out there, there is a website where all of the buttons call the same function and that function reads the colour of the button to determine what to do. It probably has some tutorial-ly name like `myFunction`.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
2,175
programmerhumor
wunderbuffer
ionw6hp
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For me it was about having lax, low income projects, when I was junior, and now I need to talk to chief UI designer, get color change though design consortium, then wait for them to update it in great centralized codebase of styles, run my gradle to refresh local styles, because god forbit I just write variables locally, 5 out of my 10k automated tests will fail, becasue someone decided that it's a good idea to test if button color fetched from web is equals to hardcoded "#337", die inside, update tests by hardcoding new number, because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before, die inside again<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
2,113
programmerhumor
baconbrand
iooj8gl
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>You just know, somewhere out there, there is a website where all of the buttons call the same function and that function reads the colour of the button to determine what to do. It probably has some tutorial-ly name like `myFunction`.<|eor|><|sor|>Mom come pick me up Im scared<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
1,146
programmerhumor
SyrupLamp
ionzkow
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The more senior you become, the less time you have to do anything. Finding a free space between meetings to do actual coding is a luxury.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
813
programmerhumor
abd53
ionukuv
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Fun but true fact, making a small change in an existing codebase is harder than creating a new codebase from scratch. Edit: Sorry, bad wording. Not comparing making one change to rewriting entire codebase. Comparing doing something (adding/changing feature/element) while creating a codebase to doing it in an existing codebase.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
805
programmerhumor
ThoseThingsAreWeird
ioo2dp6
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For me it was about having lax, low income projects, when I was junior, and now I need to talk to chief UI designer, get color change though design consortium, then wait for them to update it in great centralized codebase of styles, run my gradle to refresh local styles, because god forbit I just write variables locally, 5 out of my 10k automated tests will fail, becasue someone decided that it's a good idea to test if button color fetched from web is equals to hardcoded "#337", die inside, update tests by hardcoding new number, because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before, die inside again<|eor|><|sor|>> because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before Excuse me, what the fuck...?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
678
programmerhumor
_casualism
ioo6zy5
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>"The RGB is shooting at us!"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
649
programmerhumor
who_you_are
ioo3dxw
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For me it was about having lax, low income projects, when I was junior, and now I need to talk to chief UI designer, get color change though design consortium, then wait for them to update it in great centralized codebase of styles, run my gradle to refresh local styles, because god forbit I just write variables locally, 5 out of my 10k automated tests will fail, becasue someone decided that it's a good idea to test if button color fetched from web is equals to hardcoded "#337", die inside, update tests by hardcoding new number, because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before, die inside again<|eor|><|sor|>> because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before Excuse me, what the fuck...?<|eor|><|sor|>Next step: don't allow to commit less code than before!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
509
programmerhumor
crankbot2000
iooluud
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>You just know, somewhere out there, there is a website where all of the buttons call the same function and that function reads the colour of the button to determine what to do. It probably has some tutorial-ly name like `myFunction`.<|eor|><|sor|>Storytime. We prototyped using flask web to run a python-based app on IIS (I know, you don't need to say it) for our data scientists, thinking their API dev would just use our prototype as an example when building the real API. Well they just used our project structure named `MyFlaskWebsite` from the tutorial and it went to prod like that. They manage the API and 5 years later the name has not been changed. Every time I see it I die a little inside.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
482
programmerhumor
mwax321
iooknhl
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For me it was about having lax, low income projects, when I was junior, and now I need to talk to chief UI designer, get color change though design consortium, then wait for them to update it in great centralized codebase of styles, run my gradle to refresh local styles, because god forbit I just write variables locally, 5 out of my 10k automated tests will fail, becasue someone decided that it's a good idea to test if button color fetched from web is equals to hardcoded "#337", die inside, update tests by hardcoding new number, because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before, die inside again<|eor|><|sor|>...Customer yells at me because the simple change is taking so long. Boss yells at me because he thinks my team isn't working (same guy who yelled "there are too many bugs, we need more process"). We then schedule two 45 minute meetings to talk about why the button change took so long. At the end of the meeting, it's decided that we will have weekly meetings to review "things that are taking too long because of process."<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
474
programmerhumor
WishOnSpaceHardware
ionx4jp
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Fun but true fact, making a small change in an existing codebase is harder than creating a new codebase from scratch. Edit: Sorry, bad wording. Not comparing making one change to rewriting entire codebase. Comparing doing something (adding/changing feature/element) while creating a codebase to doing it in an existing codebase.<|eor|><|sor|>We have very different ideas of the word "fun".<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
391
programmerhumor
pab_guy
iooah75
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Junior dev: DevOps? Testing? User acceptance? Enterprise context of any kind? What's that? Senior dev: We can't change the color of that button, it's too risky and I don't have time to deal with the political fallout. Fuck off.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
380
programmerhumor
Spare-Blacksmith1376
iopahlh
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>You just know, somewhere out there, there is a website where all of the buttons call the same function and that function reads the colour of the button to determine what to do. It probably has some tutorial-ly name like `myFunction`.<|eor|><|sor|>Mom come pick me up Im scared<|eor|><|sor|>The screenshot in the tutorial is green. All I see is a blue button -My Friendly User Edit: spelling<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
289
programmerhumor
The-Albear
ioo7f7x
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>But, what shade of blue dose marketing want? You need to read this 40 person email chain to find the answer. And the answer, is everyone like the colour of the head designers jumper. They work if a different time zone, they have all quit for the day. There is a PR event about the button colour launching at 6pm. Your told just do it why is this so hard. You also have to fix the 5 page website some moron put live this morning where they miss spelt the company name.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
249
programmerhumor
who_you_are
ioo3or5
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The more senior you become, the less time you have to do anything. Finding a free space between meetings to do actual coding is a luxury.<|eor|><|sor|>I'm lucky enough to not have lot of useless "meeting", but I end up having lot of code assistance request from other devs (which in my book is important to help with to avoid "wtf" and "slow AF" code)<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
235
programmerhumor
alexxxor
ioow7sq
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>You just know, somewhere out there, there is a website where all of the buttons call the same function and that function reads the colour of the button to determine what to do. It probably has some tutorial-ly name like `myFunction`.<|eor|><|sor|>Storytime. We prototyped using flask web to run a python-based app on IIS (I know, you don't need to say it) for our data scientists, thinking their API dev would just use our prototype as an example when building the real API. Well they just used our project structure named `MyFlaskWebsite` from the tutorial and it went to prod like that. They manage the API and 5 years later the name has not been changed. Every time I see it I die a little inside.<|eor|><|sor|>Fuck. Just last year I sent a terminal screenshot to some colleagues and they all saw that the root directory I'd been working out of since the genesis of the project was called "typescript-test". The github repo was properly named at least.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
171
programmerhumor
CoastingUphill
ioo690x
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The exhausting part is you've been in 12 meetings over 2 months to decide that it should be blue. THAT blue, not THAT blue.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
164
programmerhumor
Sockoflegend
iootd03
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That's because the senior understands everything that could go wrong changing that damn color.<|eor|><|sor|>There is absolutely no fucking way I am just going to hardcode some CSS into background: 'blue'. We need to add the option to change this color into the design system but normally it just takes brand-color-button so we need an facility for secondary buttons with different colors added and a system for defining their locations. I have added a meeting with the design team to our calendar. Once those decisions are made we can update the design tokens with the new values, add the button type into the view model for the template and update our SASS functions. I'll check the approach with our architect first so we can book that meeting as well before we log the ticket in Jira and then it will be ready for refinement. I would guess we can probably have the ticket added to the sprint by Q1 2023 but don't tell the project manager because they will promise the client it will be done by the end of March and that doesn't allow time for code review, updating the tests and QA. Oh and their button text won't have enough contrast to pass accessibility tests with that background so I'll need to have a client call to work out what to change that to.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
163
programmerhumor
wunderbuffer
ioo6jnf
<|sols|><|sot|>Based on true events.<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/sok5wlg4x7o91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>For me it was about having lax, low income projects, when I was junior, and now I need to talk to chief UI designer, get color change though design consortium, then wait for them to update it in great centralized codebase of styles, run my gradle to refresh local styles, because god forbit I just write variables locally, 5 out of my 10k automated tests will fail, becasue someone decided that it's a good idea to test if button color fetched from web is equals to hardcoded "#337", die inside, update tests by hardcoding new number, because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before, die inside again<|eor|><|sor|>> because git hook prevents me from pushing with lesser amount of tests than before Excuse me, what the fuck...?<|eor|><|sor|>Next step: don't allow to commit less code than before!<|eor|><|sor|>I'ts not a real git hook, but I'm sure my collegues belive it to be a moral virtue<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
158
programmerhumor
migrator16
oq7kzf
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37,527
programmerhumor
ibiBgOR
h69xays
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well.. The requirements are still not 100% clear. He wants to be lowered into the grave with or without a coffin? Does he want to be lowered into grave the moment he dies or afterwards? What developers? All that he have worked with or just a subset? What about dead developers he had worked with? What about disabled ones? So. Many. Questions.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
2,801
programmerhumor
RichCorinthian
h6a76h2
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Sometimes, you can look at somebody's profile pic and just KNOW they'd be insufferable to work with.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
920
programmerhumor
williane
h69zepz
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well.. The requirements are still not 100% clear. He wants to be lowered into the grave with or without a coffin? Does he want to be lowered into grave the moment he dies or afterwards? What developers? All that he have worked with or just a subset? What about dead developers he had worked with? What about disabled ones? So. Many. Questions.<|eor|><|sor|>> What about dead developers he had worked with? NullDeveloperException: developer reference not set to an instance of a developer<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
881
programmerhumor
how_do_i_read
h6a0vq9
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well.. The requirements are still not 100% clear. He wants to be lowered into the grave with or without a coffin? Does he want to be lowered into grave the moment he dies or afterwards? What developers? All that he have worked with or just a subset? What about dead developers he had worked with? What about disabled ones? So. Many. Questions.<|eor|><|sor|>From the requirements, the MVP seems to be to kick his corpse into some hole in the ground.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
827
programmerhumor
stakeneggs1
h69wj1p
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>It'll change.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
588
programmerhumor
notagoodboye
h6a23ya
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Uh-huh. PM's sit in the middle between the customer and the devs, blaming all the problems on whoever they're not in the room with, and *magically*, it's never their fault in any way.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
520
programmerhumor
centurijon
h6aorim
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Sometimes, you can look at somebody's profile pic and just KNOW they'd be insufferable to work with.<|eor|><|sor|>That's exactly what I look for in someone titled "speaker and mentor", tweeting shit about people they've worked with<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
422
programmerhumor
Hit_the_reser_button
h6a23rh
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>It'll change.<|eor|><|sor|>Crap, now he wants cremation.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
292
programmerhumor
lucidspoon
h6adgo7
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well.. The requirements are still not 100% clear. He wants to be lowered into the grave with or without a coffin? Does he want to be lowered into grave the moment he dies or afterwards? What developers? All that he have worked with or just a subset? What about dead developers he had worked with? What about disabled ones? So. Many. Questions.<|eor|><|sor|>From the requirements, the MVP seems to be to kick his corpse into some hole in the ground.<|eor|><|sor|>We'll add the rest of the features in a future release. Promise.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
292
programmerhumor
corn_soup
h6aaovv
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The dead can't complain. just throw the corpse into nearest recycle bin, close the jira ticket and move on to the next one.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
274
programmerhumor
Jamesdzn
h69yfa9
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Does he have a spec for that or is it another 2 liner on slack?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
226
programmerhumor
artnos
h6ajmj1
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Uh-huh. PM's sit in the middle between the customer and the devs, blaming all the problems on whoever they're not in the room with, and *magically*, it's never their fault in any way.<|eor|><|sor|>PM should be developers who dont want to code anymore. We are more organized and know what we are talking about. Developers dont need PM we just need someone who takes good notes thats it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
185
programmerhumor
2_7182818
h6apw9z
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Sometimes, you can look at somebody's profile pic and just KNOW they'd be insufferable to work with.<|eor|><|sor|>That's exactly what I look for in someone titled "speaker and mentor", tweeting shit about people they've worked with<|eor|><|sor|>I feel like dont publicly shit talk dozens of former colleagues is an incredibly low bar that somehow this dude managed to trip over for a few LinkedIn points. Seems like the kind of person who perpetually works in start-ups because they cant get hired anywhere else.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
184
programmerhumor
TheRealDrSarcasmo
h6ahkp2
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>"Speaker and mentor". Well, I'm sure the first half is correct.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
181
programmerhumor
PM_MeYourTacos
h6av1h3
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>As a product manager, the best piece of advice I have ever gotten is: treat your devs well, because theyre a hell of a lot better at product management than you are at writing code.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
179
programmerhumor
matthieuC
h6aspzf
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Sometimes, you can look at somebody's profile pic and just KNOW they'd be insufferable to work with.<|eor|><|sor|>That's exactly what I look for in someone titled "speaker and mentor", tweeting shit about people they've worked with<|eor|><|sor|>> speaker and mentor "I never deliver projects so I have a lot of time to talk"<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
167
programmerhumor
RolyPoly1320
h6a4oda
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>It'll change.<|eor|><|sor|>Crap, now he wants cremation.<|eor|><|sor|>He wants the devs to burn him one last time.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
125
programmerhumor
LostTeleporter
h6aacqh
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Well.. The requirements are still not 100% clear. He wants to be lowered into the grave with or without a coffin? Does he want to be lowered into grave the moment he dies or afterwards? What developers? All that he have worked with or just a subset? What about dead developers he had worked with? What about disabled ones? So. Many. Questions.<|eor|><|sor|>> What about dead developers he had worked with? NullDeveloperException: developer reference not set to an instance of a developer<|eor|><|sor|>Just out of curiosity - is it a good idea to catch NPEs and throw a custom NPE?<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
119
programmerhumor
AttackOfTheThumbs
h6abqco
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Fucking dumbass product managers that don't realize they are the problem.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
117
programmerhumor
Handsignals24
h6anbli
<|sols|><|sot|>One last wish <|eot|><|sol|>https://i.imgur.com/z697v24.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Uh-huh. PM's sit in the middle between the customer and the devs, blaming all the problems on whoever they're not in the room with, and *magically*, it's never their fault in any way.<|eor|><|sor|>PM should be developers who dont want to code anymore. We are more organized and know what we are talking about. Developers dont need PM we just need someone who takes good notes thats it.<|eor|><|sor|>Semi OK in principle, until you get to the "talking to the customer" part. There are lots of exceptions, but devs tend to be bad at that more often than not.<|eor|><|sor|>Why cant you code xyz feature? Why cant YOU code xyz feature? -my buddy responding to complaints on the internet<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
109
programmerhumor
tamilvanan31
v2atlx
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37,513
programmerhumor
phriskiii
iarjdqd
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That takes commitment.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
1,408
programmerhumor
NoxteRRR
iarh6lq
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Ah yes, all my commits to new projects that I won't ever finish and will be forgotten<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
651
programmerhumor
_Eruh
iarkewy
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That takes commitment.<|eor|><|sor|>I also think you need to push very hard<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
591
programmerhumor
rover-8
iarm2tu
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The commit history shows this guy checks into the bathroom a lot<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
383
programmerhumor
Anukaki
iarnojj
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>TBH, fully white ones count as GitHub as well if you're lazy like me.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
207
programmerhumor
Authorises1
iarkgat
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Ah yes, all my commits to new projects that I won't ever finish and will be forgotten<|eor|><|sor|>'Projects' Bah! They're business ideas <|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
183
programmerhumor
Ok-Kaleidoscope5627
iarwgtk
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>TBH, fully white ones count as GitHub as well if you're lazy like me.<|eor|><|sor|>I genuinely struggle to understand how some people manage to output so much code. There was one person I was looking at who's chart was pretty much solid green. Not even weekends off. And they were committing to multiple major projects and pretty substantial commits too from what I saw.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
132
programmerhumor
Aeiou-Reddit
ias0736
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That takes commitment.<|eor|><|sor|>I also think you need to push very hard<|eor|><|sor|>[removed]<|eor|><|sor|>Fragmentation* Defragmentation is a process of reverting fragmentation<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
116
programmerhumor
Lone_Admin
iarkcnt
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Ah yes, github at home<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
99
programmerhumor
_alright_then_
iarxuqr
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>TBH, fully white ones count as GitHub as well if you're lazy like me.<|eor|><|sor|>I genuinely struggle to understand how some people manage to output so much code. There was one person I was looking at who's chart was pretty much solid green. Not even weekends off. And they were committing to multiple major projects and pretty substantial commits too from what I saw.<|eor|><|sor|>It just seems unhealthy to me to do this<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
90
programmerhumor
PsychoNerd91
ias0mu7
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>The commit history shows this guy checks into the bathroom a lot<|eor|><|sor|>My commits are far more consistent. A consistent light green.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
72
programmerhumor
DankLord420x69x
iarzwlu
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>TBH, fully white ones count as GitHub as well if you're lazy like me.<|eor|><|sor|>I genuinely struggle to understand how some people manage to output so much code. There was one person I was looking at who's chart was pretty much solid green. Not even weekends off. And they were committing to multiple major projects and pretty substantial commits too from what I saw.<|eor|><|sor|>Some people just enjoy it and it's not effort. Like how some people play video games all day every day and never get sick of it.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
67
programmerhumor
nerokaeclone
iartbei
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>work until your github look like a bathroom<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
51
programmerhumor
DotEXEGaming
iarkhy6
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Ah yes, all my commits to new projects that I won't ever finish and will be forgotten<|eor|><|sor|>'Projects' Bah! They're business ideas <|eor|><|sor|>quality comment<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
50
programmerhumor
Untgradd
ias1tas
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>That takes commitment.<|eor|><|sor|>I also think you need to push very hard<|eor|><|sor|>[removed]<|eor|><|sor|>Fragmentation* Defragmentation is a process of reverting fragmentation<|eor|><|sor|>Yep yep everyone seems to forget that you need to get rid of the fraggles. Pesky little things they are.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
40
programmerhumor
Koujinkamu
iars6w4
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>Reminds me of childhood, when I was just watching the disk de-fragmentation graphics<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37
programmerhumor
Neutraali
iarh4mf
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>They've certainly nailed the "pissing contest" -aspect!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
34
programmerhumor
polskidankmemer
iarurnc
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>this was the only meme I didn't understand pls help me understand<|eor|><|sor|>GitHub displays a heat map of your commits on your profile as colored squares ranging from white (no commits) to dark green (a lot of commits) for every day.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
33
programmerhumor
drunken_doctor
iass8w1
<|sols|><|sot|>Dude is a pro!!<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/mltqiyxfjy291.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>TBH, fully white ones count as GitHub as well if you're lazy like me.<|eor|><|sor|>I genuinely struggle to understand how some people manage to output so much code. There was one person I was looking at who's chart was pretty much solid green. Not even weekends off. And they were committing to multiple major projects and pretty substantial commits too from what I saw.<|eor|><|sor|>It just seems unhealthy to me to do this<|eor|><|sor|>One of my roommates was this guy. His justification was his wanting to retire early, and he did just that. He made a few startups, sold them, and proceeded to retire after working for ~5 years. The problem is, now that he's retired, he is still doing this and is still living like a total ascetic.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
30
programmerhumor
micketic
y6zreq
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
37,436
programmerhumor
freistil90
iss3nho
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I dont see the Nintendo 3DS in that selection you fucking tool<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
9,037
programmerhumor
GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B
iss1kib
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I once tried to browse the web on a Kindle. It was not a pleasant experience.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
4,242
programmerhumor
QuirkyPee
issgfcs
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I dont see the Nintendo 3DS in that selection you fucking tool<|eor|><|sor|>Don't be rude. The cunt probably just forgot.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
3,931
programmerhumor
CallMeRawie
issw962
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I dont see the Nintendo 3DS in that selection you fucking tool<|eor|><|sor|>Don't be rude. The cunt probably just forgot.<|eor|><|sor|>It's fine this dipshit thinks web developers still test on Blackberries.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
1,524
programmerhumor
thebatmanandrobin
iss1hlf
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>I have my HTML/CSS/JS follow the "Law of Tinder": If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
1,485
programmerhumor
oretseJ
iss0srf
<|sols|><|sot|>Want to be a web developer? You have to test your site on all these devices<|eot|><|sol|>https://i.redd.it/g0xy6yv8liu91.jpg<|eol|><|sor|>As a proud owner of a 3:2 resolution smartphone, I can assure you that most "web developers" are unaware of my existence.<|eor|><|eols|><|endoftext|>
1,403