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**Adam Stacoviak:** And that's a wide spectrum, too. It could be literal people I know, or news sources, or potentially people I've never met on the internet, for some rational thought... Like, "Are they panicking? Should I panic?" Yes, no? ...whatever. I would seek people that I've got sound advice from before... That... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** See, there are strategies and options that are available. They might not be ideal and they might not totally safeguard you, but they would provide you with an opportunity to change your experience, and potentially modify of manage the panic... And that is where we go. We're not in charge o... |
It's simply important to not just accept your circumstances as your only way, like you are just at the mercy of what happens to you. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Stuck. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. While just like on turbulence there are constraints - you cannot get off of the airplane without other severe consequences... But rather, who else or what else will help you buffer that as you don't know what to expect in the future? This is why the flight attendants or the pilot tal... |
• Resilience as a concept |
• Nelson Mandela's quote "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" |
• The importance of perspective-taking and adaptability in resilience |
• The phrase "This too shall pass" and its significance in coping with adversity |
• Adam Stacoviak's reference to Batman's phrase "Why do we fall down, Bruce? So we can get back up." |
• Mireille B. Reece's personal experience with a ring in Jerusalem inscribed with "This too shall pass" |
• The role of self-belief and compassion in emotional resiliency |
• The idea that adversity is temporary and will pass, and the importance of keeping this perspective during difficult times |
• Social connection as a key component of resilience |
• The impact of feeling alone on one's ability to cope with adversity |
• The importance of perspective-taking and reframing failures as opportunities for growth |
• The role of physical elements in building resilience (e.g. self-care, exercise) |
• The psychological aspects of resilience, including cognitive biases and the power of perception |
• The concept of flexibility in approaching challenges and setbacks |
• Critique of the "just try harder" approach to resilience, with a focus on incorporating wisdom and learning into effort |
• The importance of getting back up after failure, rather than giving up |
• Using buffers or lower resistance to make learning easier, such as taking easier trails while mountain biking |
• The role of fear and perspective in determining how one responds to failure |
• The value of having people who support and encourage resilience during failure |
• Practicing "failure recovery" and re-framing mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning |
• Developing a growth mindset and believing that one has control over their choices and outcomes |
• Using resources, such as safety gear or supportive relationships, to buffer against failure and build confidence |
• Providing support and scaffolding for personal growth and development |
• The importance of perspective and reframing potentially traumatic events as opportunities for learning and growth |
• Empowering individuals to take risks and try again with the help of social connections and motivation |
• The concept of grit and its relationship to effort, skill, and achievement |
• "Name it to tame it" - assigning a label to an event to reduce its perceived impact |
• Resilience and how events are not inherently traumatic until they are experienced as such. |
• Grit as a skill that can be developed |
• Neuroplasticity and adaptability of the human brain |
• Emotional control and regulation as key components of grit |
• Processing disappointment and failure as opportunities for growth |
• Importance of recovery from setbacks rather than planning to avoid them |
• Role of social relationships and community in coping with disappointment |
• Need to learn from mistakes and failures to grow and improve |
• Resilience and response to failure |
• Empathy in relationships and teams |
• Media attention to failures and criticism |
• Judging others' processes vs. personal growth |
• Adapting and being flexible in the face of adversity |
• Cultivating learning from mistakes as a team or individual |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Good morning, Adam! How are you? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Hey, Mireille. What's going on? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Doing good... You know, trying not to count the days. I saw this meme recently that stood out to me, and it had the front portion of every day of the week exed out. So instead of Monday, it was just "Day", Tuesday - "Day". So it seems as though a bit of the days are blurring together... So... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Oh yes, it is a day... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So I'm super-excited to talk about what we're going to today, because I think it's really relevant... Not just now, in what everyone is walking through, but just in everyday life. It was Nelson Mandela who said "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every ti... |
I had this experience when I was traveling in Israel. I was looking for keepsakes that help me remember certain relevant things... And there's this little jeweler that we went into (my friends and I) when I was looking around in Jerusalem. And it was really, really cool - inscribed in Hebrew on this little ring said "T... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. Some might have watched one of the Batman movies, one of the more recent ones, the recent trilogy from Christopher Nolan... In there, the dad says to young Bruce, at the time - he was in this well, he fell down, and there were bats and stuff down there... It's all part of his psychological bre... |
\[04:21\] I tell my son this, too... It's interesting to hinge these things back, this wisdom back to a ring in Jerusalem... "This too shall pass" however is better wisdom. But then also back to Batman, because - we're gonna fall in life. There is gonna be some sort of adversity that we're gonna face. We're gonna have ... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. So the word "resilience" actually comes from this Latin word "resilio", which means to bounce back or retaliate. So this sense of emotional resiliency is intertwined with self-belief, like what we think about ourselves, what we think about our world, with this sense of compassion, as... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** The temporary thing is interesting, because when you're in the moment, and there's obviously a wide spectrum to adversity - it could be today's trials and tribulations, or it could be a year-long year of grief, it could be a lot of different things which knocks you down; this idea of temporary. Beca... |
That temporary thing is kind of key, because there is an end to most everything. What goes up must come down. There's always an opposite. But you can often get mentally lost in a challenge of life, and just feel like "My only option is to give up, because I can't see the end of this." |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. It's very much like a tidal wave or a tsunami of like "I got pummeled. I've got nothing left to get back up with." But we are fundamentally designed to adapt. That's how we've survived all these years - the figuring it out. So being resilient doesn't mean that you're not going to ex... |
This is why when I talk about the things involved in it, like how do we navigate it, what is it about, very much perspective-taking in how we think. Because if I really get caught in this emotional contagion of the moment, like "I don't know how long this is gonna last. I've got nothing left. I can't do anymore", I'm a... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. You feel alone. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[08:06\] Yeah, yeah. And that's another component of this. We spend a lot of time talking about and referencing back the value of social connection. We were designed to be connected to other people. So if I'm struggling and then alone, like I don't think anybody is in it with me, it is le... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** We're so tethered to other people... Your emotion influences my emotion. And if you have no other -- I don't wanna really say "energy source", but nobody else bringing some energy... It's a one-way street. If your energy is going down and there's no other opposite to be bringing it back up, another ... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, yeah. But think about the difference when people talk to you. You can talk to yourself, because - don't think you're crazy if you talk to yourself. We all do. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** We've covered that. The inner voice. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. But it sounds different when we hear it from outside of ourselves. It was ironic, I was having a conversation with my sister recently, and she told me something that I had thought or previously said to someone that I was working with to be encouraging, and I laughed out loud; I was l... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Well, yeah, everyone does. Just because you've studied it all doesn't mean you have it all. You still have moments where even though you're educated around psychology, it doesn't mean that you have all the bases covered. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** There's gonna be times when you're missing. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, and I think this is exactly what drives me to pursue it further, and to understand more, and why I try to act like a scientist and go "What works? Why did that work in this case, but then over here it was harder, or it felt more aversive?" Because that's life, and it's always changi... |
You can always think of this in sort of a three-tiered or three-pronged picture. We've got physical elements to it, because we always have our bodies that we bring to everything we do. We have a physical structure. And then we've got the mental or psychological elements, and then this social element. So I'm not gonna s... |
\[11:59\] So if I'm moving on and talking about more the psychological or cognitive aspects, our perception is critical... Because it's not just what I'm going through, but my perception of it. Can you think of anything you've done, Adam, that maybe you had some thought about it before, that it seemed like it was gonna... |
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