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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p140_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p140_m4-dialogue_0337428
[S1] Um, and there are some classic ones. Gluten, some people are sensitive to dairy, other people might be sensitive to soy, um- [S2] Sugar. [S1] ... sugar. Some people can be sensitive to artificial dyes and sweeteners and other things. So if you go with a Whole30 kind of diet or something else, it's gonna eliminate ...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p140_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p140_m4-dialogue_0337429
[S1] by what you eat, what you drink, whether or not you exercise, whether or not you are on screens or getting connection, and what your sleep is like. And when you improve those things, your metabolism improves. And what you're also saying is, so does your ADHD. [S2] Yes. [S1] So does dyslexia. So does a bazillion ot...
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[S1] So the two best strategies are to in, increase muscle. [S2] Yep. [S1] The more muscle we have, the, the, the more metabolically healthy we will be. Now I know sometimes women balk at that and they think I'm encouraging them to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I am not. I'm just saying just a little bit of healthy ...
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[S1] Those might be working against you over the long run. [S2] Hm. [S1] So trying to think of strategies to slowly but surely get off those substances, smoking, vaping, absolutely not good for you. [S2] What final thing do you wanna say, Dr. Palmer, to somebody who's listening, and this is all a little overwhelming, b...
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[S1] and that we can help people heal and recover and live better lives. So if a woman comes to me and she's got obesity and type two diabetes and some symptoms of heart disease- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and she's got polycystic ovary syndrome and she's got fatty liver disease- [S2] It sounds like she's about to die. [S1]...
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[S1] I don't need different pills for each of those conditions. I don't need different treatments for each of those conditions. And guess what else? [S2] Tell me. [S1] If she also has depression and ADHD, at the same time that she's got all of those things, if I help her effectively implement lifestyle strategies that ...
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[S1] ... think that these are light woo-woo interventions. These are serious interventions for serious health conditions that jeopardize people's lives, and they also impact people's brain function, which impacts whether people are happy and healthy and thriving. [S2] Dr. Palmer, you're the best. Where were you 30 year...
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[S1] You're about to hear one of the most validating, important, and impactful interviews I've ever done on this podcast, period. Dr. Judith Joseph. [S2] This idea of what we thought happiness was, it's just not possible. It's not attainable. That's why people feel unsatisfied. That's why they feel like they can't reac...
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[S1] Because that is impossible to reach. And that's why people feel unsatisfied. That's why they feel like they can't reach it. And so when you shift the way you think about happiness as like, okay, there are points of joy today that I could have or not have. [S2] Right. [S1] Versus I need to be happy today. It's such...
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[S1] It's interesting because you don't have to teach children how to play. It just seems as if they naturally know how to play. You put a, just do an experiment. You're going to be a researcher with me. Have a toddler, give them a box. They will find ways to enjoy that box. They may put it in their mouth, they may, yo...
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[S1] And they don't know. So it's my job to figure out where do they lose that. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I'm seeing this lack of feeling and lack of validation and lack of processing in our society. If we don't know how we feel, how can we identify what to do with this feeling, this, this emotion? How do we trace back to ...
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[S1] So because of a lack of feeling and processing, I'm learning that this is la- leading to a lack of joy, which I have helped my patients to name as anhedonia. [S2] Oh, wait, okay. Hold on. You just, an- a- donia? An- an- an- how do you- [S1] Say it with me. [S2] Okay. [S1] An- [S2] An- [S1] Hed- [S2] Hed- [S1] Doni...
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[S1] I'm already laughing at myself. [S2] And is a lack of. Hedon is hedonism or joy, pleasure. [S1] Okay. [S2] So lack of joy. Anhedonia. [S1] I've never heard this word. What is, like, is this actually a clinical term?
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[S1] It is. It's a very old medical term, and it's throughout the research, but it's not in the typical vocabulary. I'm trying to change that. [S2] Okay. [S1] I educate my patients that anhedonia is something that we all, at some point, probably experience, but not in long stretches. And if you ever think back to a tim...
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[S1] ... in the pants. [S2] Right. [S1] At some point in adulthood, we'd stop training adults to identify and label their feelings. Maybe it's because of the state of society. I have this bio-psychosocial theory about anhedonia. [S2] Okay, now, hold, that was a whole lot of words. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Bio, what, what was...
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[S1] Bio-psychosocial. [S2] What does that mean? [S1] In medical school, you learn that all disease models or symptoms- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... have a bio-psychosocial component. Bio is, represents your body, your biology. So for example,
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[S1] We went through a pandemic. Who knows how the virus affected our brains? Some, some numbers say that 70% of us got infected. Uh, also there are genetic risk factors in the bio, right? Some of us have a family history of mental health conditions. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Uh, you know, the food that we eat, there's a lot o...
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[S1] Part of the bio-psychosocial model. [S2] Yep. [S1] The psychological component, this is interesting because in our society, trauma is not processed and people have a way of kind of like labeling victims as being the blame for the trauma. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Uh, the just world theory that we all kind of harbor in our...
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[S1] Well, good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. So you may read these terrible stories of a woman running through the park and you're like, "What was she doing in the park that night? She should've been attacked." But in our minds, we think, "Well, if she did this, if she did that, she sh...
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[S1] That sounds like anhedonia, right? You get numb. And that's been our coping mechanism. That's just the psycho part. I haven't even got into the social part. [S2] Well, let's do the social part, and then I have a bunch of questions- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... about the state of where the average person is- [S1] Mm-hmm. ...
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[S1] and that it wasn't their fault, and that this is the routine. They do better. They have a better outcome than if they think it's all their fault and that they're not safe and there's no routine, there's no plan. Adults have the same type of thinking, right? Like if you tell us that we're safe, then we're not. Then...
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[S1] ... things, we saw a re- a rise in, uh, binge drinking in populations that were typically protected because people were soothing that way. [S2] Yeah. [S1] We saw things like, you know, unhealthy sexual habits online developing, consumerism, like we've had more online shopping than ever before. So there's this huma...
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[S1] Many entrepreneurs are still in fight or flight mode from the pandemic. The same for corporations, right? People didn't know if they were going to keep their jobs, so what do they do? Work came home, and was supposed to only stay home for a little bit. Work is in the home indefinitely now. [S2] Right. [S1] So, lik...
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[S1] By three to four years of sustained uncertainty, the likes of which a human being is not designed to process. You know, I'll just share a little bit because when you and I last met, it was when I was hosting a daytime talk show. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it was just after your, one of your last appearances that v- COV...
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[S1] I'm so grateful you said that so beautifully. I mean, you're so in tune and so connected to your, your, your listeners. What you just did was validated them. You named what they were going through, right? We called it affect labeling, naming how you feel. Because when you know what it is- [S2] Right. [S1] ... you'...
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[S1] Um, but like, yeah, it's like we don't remember things, right? Like that's a symptom of trauma. [S2] Yeah. [S1] People forget huge parts of their lives. So don't be surprised, don't knock yourself if you don't even remember parts of 2020. That's a trauma response, right? People were also awarded. They were rewarde...
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[S1] So, again- [S2] How so? [S1] So your corpor- anhedonia- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... is contagious. It is con- tageous. So, like, if, you know, you ever heard the saying, "The fish rots at the head"? [S2] No, but that's disgusting, and- [S1] [LAUGHS] Maybe it's a snake. But there's a saying. [S2] Well, it's a, I'll, I beli...
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[S1] Well, if a corporation is anxious, like you said- [S2] Yes, top down. [S1] ... and the boss is anxious, and they're like, "Oh my gosh, we're all gonna, like, we're gonna lose everything," well, that gets passed down, right? It's trickled down. Everyone else is anxious, everyone's working. And if the heads have not...
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[S1] Any one of us that are just going through life would describe as, "I feel blah. I feel empty. I feel a little lost. I feel like I'm on autopilot." You have grabbed onto this thing that we may describe casually to somebody, but it is a low ache inside of your soul, basically. [S2] Yes. [S1] Where you aren't feeling...
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[S1] You are such a scientist. I love this. There is a scale for this. [S2] Hey, there's points, right? [S1] Yes. [S2] You can't tell people to measure it and then they find a way. [S1] Okay. [S2] So if you fill out the, um, rating scale, you'll see that they're, it's made up of points of joy. Now, there've been anhedo...
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[S1] Well, it, it has a British twang to it, so it'll say, "Did you enjoy, enjoy a cup of tea this morning?" That's my British accent. [S2] It's a good one. [S1] Or, "Did you like that landscape?" Well, we don't have that, right? [S2] Okay. [S1] I don't drink tea in the morning. So I had to modify and add things that, ...
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[S1] ... understand that you have a quiz that you're gonna, that you can run me through? [S2] Yes. [S1] To determine the level to which you have anhedonia and that this is what you're really struggling with, which is the inability to find small points of joy in your day? [S2] Absolutely. [S1] Okay. [S2] So it has to mo...
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[S1] I often make delayed future happiness statements, such as, "When I get this ex, I'll finally be happy." So it could be anything. [S2] Yes. [S1] Okay. [S2] I agree. [S1] I find it hard to enjoy resting or taking breaks because I feel restless and empty when I'm not busy. [S2] 100% agree. [S1] I rarely take the time...
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[S1] I've done a bunch of TikToks on people like shoveling, shoving food in their mouths. [S2] Yes. Yeah, or working and typing as I'm... [S1] Yes. That's not savory. [S2] Yeah, my daughter just yelled at me for doing that the other day. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] And then said, "That's probably why you feel bloated, Mom." Oka...
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[S1] Um, I don't take naps because when I wake up, I feel anxious. Like I missed something. I don't like napping. [S2] When I watch TV or stream movies, I'm not engaged in the program. [S1] I agree, 'cause I typically do not follow my own advice and I'm scrolling while I'm watching. [S2] When I make an effort to dress ...
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[S1] When others compliment me, I have a hard time enjoying praise. [S2] I agree. [S1] I have a difficult time enjoying social interactions with family or friends. [S2] I used to, but since the pandemic, I find that I'm way more introverted. Like it feels like an energy drain. [S1] It's hard to relax and enjoy a holida...
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[S1] Um, I disagree with that one. I, one of the few things I like. [S2] This is a little personal. [S1] Okay, I'll, I'll answer. [S2] I have a difficult time enjoying physical intimacy or sexual behavior. [S1] Yeah, my sex life has definitely taken a hit since the pandemic. I think we're both exhausted. We do a lot of...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p142_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p142_m4-dialogue_0337467
[S1] I rarely enjoy self-care activities, such as a warm bath or a mani-pedi. [S2] Oh, I love those. I just don't make enough time for them. [S1] I rarely enjoy simple pleas- pleasures, such as a nice cup of coffee or tasting a delicious beverage, smelling sweet scents. [S2] I- I disagree with that one. [S1] I rarely e...
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[S1] I have a hard time enjoying the work that I produce because I often feel it is not good enough. [S2] Oh my God. My poor team was just like, "Yes! She absolutely is that way." [S1] Relentless. Like I'm relentless. So even if I am producing high levels, I have a hard time enjoying this.
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[S1] Well, thank you for your bravery. Now, here's how we address it. [S2] Okay, so do I have anhedonia? [S1] You have very high levels of it based on this. [S2] Oh, shit. Okay. [S1] But that's okay. A lot of us do. In fact, I did at one point, and that's why I became so into this. Because like you, I'm an entrepreneur...
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[S1] ... things that used to excite me didn't excite me anymore. So the way to get back into your body and a way to feel again, feel the feels, right? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Is to focus on those simple pleasures in life. Not that big grand scheme of like, you know, this idea of happiness. But today, how do we increase the p...
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[S1] And it's a distraction. It'll never be enough because you're not getting to processing that trauma. You're not feeling the feels. And one simple thing everyone can do, right? Let's pick one thing on here that I can do right now and, and, and demonstrate with you. Just even with a, a cup of water. [S2] Okay. [S1] U...
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[S1] Do you want glass? I think you'll feel better. [S2] Sure, yes. [S1] She would like glass. Should I have glass? [S2] Yes. [S1] Okay, we're gonna get glass. So how many people, as we get the glasses... [S2] Uh-huh. [S1] How many people would you say, if you were to just throw out a percentage based on your research,...
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[S1] ... the money, depending on the- [S2] Or the busyness. [S1] ... social media, everything. It's all like a, like a, like an addiction, right? So it's hard to measure, but I would guess that it's a very high number. And I think it's hard to measure because people don't know what it is. [S2] Right. [S1] They don't kn...
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[S1] Well, I think the first step is validating. [S2] Yes. [S1] That absolutely everyone experienced some level of this over the last three or four years. And there's no way that you could be living in the modern world and not have it impact you and the kind of what it feels like in your body. And I've even noticed tha...
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[S1] ... the way that I thought it would. Like I just literally got back from a vacation with my family and celebrating, uh, you know, grandparents birthdays, and I don't feel refreshed. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I feel even more tired, honestly. [S2] Mm-hmm. Yeah. [S1] And that never used to be the case.
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[S1] I think so. I think everyone has points, just like the points of joy that are lost throughout the day. [S2] Yep. [S1] Everyone experiences the numbing. We have to remember that numbing, right, fight, flight, freeze. [S2] Right. [S1] Those are trauma responses. So not only are we just busying ourselves and not feel...
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[S1] ... it. Like, I feel like I went through it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I want it to be over with. I want to move on. And yet, there is a deeper level of happiness. And what I love about, that I want, and what I love about your research is that you are doing this with people that are moving on, that are high functioning, t...
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[S1] It's a grounding technique, and what we described was trauma. [S2] Okay. [S1] And your viewers, your listeners, they are very familiar with 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. [S2] Right. [S1] Already, right, the countdown. [S2] Right. [S1] Well, there's something called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding method. [S2] Okay. [S1] And when you...
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[S1] It's very difficult for people who are on autopilot to take 15 minutes to do anything. [S2] Okay. [S1] So let me just describe one minute- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... of all those things. [S2] Let's do it. [S1] On the anhedonia scale, we have different things like tasting, seeing. They're all stimulating the senses. Toddl...
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[S1] Uh, so I'm describing things that I see, but really with the act of drinking the water, you want to describe what you're seeing. [S2] Okay. [S1] So I see this glass and I see the water shining, um, and I'm going to really be present in the moment. As I hold the glass, I'm going to describe what I'm feeling in my h...
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[S1] feels cool in my tongue. It actually, I was really thirsty, so that felt really good going down. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Some water has a minerally taste. This one's very fresh. There's no smell to it, but you can do this with a beverage that smells. And I'm really paying attention to how it feels going down my throat....
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[S1] I like the waterfront here in Boston. You know, there were things that I saw. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I touched my loved ones because when you touch people, it releases oxytocin. I wear this furry jacket and I love to feel it. You know, like, you can really enjoy the senses if you took the time. And it sounds loosey-goo...
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[S1] It's the five second rule, right? The thought feelings behavior triangle. In cognitive behavioral therapy, classically when we're trained, we, we're thinking if you shift the thought, then you shift the feeling, then the behavior changes. [S2] Right. [S1] But if you shift the behavior, even if you don't feel like ...
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[S1] Simmering is a term used- [S2] What the hell is simmer- [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] What am I doing with Chris tonight? [LAUGHS] [S1] [LAUGHS] Simmering is a term that's used in, in marriage and couples counseling where you don't have full on, like, you know, a hot, passionate session, but you may, like, you know, gently r...
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[S1] That moment of joy does so much for one person. Try it with like your pet. You know, we love our pets. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Pet your, you know, touch your, your pet more. You know, like those tiny moments that make life worthing, worth living, if you can increase those moments, overall you'll, you'll do better. If yo...
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[S1] ... taste like this. So this is crispy. Oh, I like this Chipotle kind of sauce. You know, one minute and see, compare, do your own little experiment. Be a little scientist. Compare how you felt in that one minute to the five minutes where you're gut, like, trying to shove it in- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... before your nex...
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[S1] ... say, "There's no way I can." [S2] Yeah, there's no way. [S1] I'm gonna go right on the record and say, I can sit and watch the sunset. My dog watches the sunset every night up in Vermont. I could sit with him for a minute too, maybe, just take it in. I wanna see if I can translate what's happening because I be...
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[S1] I am at a moment where I am particularly burnt out. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I'm aware of it. Like I feel that kind of hollowness. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That, and, you know, I can have fun and, uh, but it's kind of lingering. And if I really try to absorb what you're saying,
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[S1] Because your feelings are very just kind of turned off. They're very, um, when a sh- knife isn't sharp, what it, dull. They're very dull. [S2] They're muted. [S1] Your feelings are muted, right? You're up in your head. Your feelings are muted. You're going through the motions. And
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[S1] You are all day long fighting the anhedonia and you are retraining your feelings to come back. You're basically saying it's safe to feel again. Is that, is that what you're, is that why this works? [S2] You're validating. You're validating yourself. When you don't feel, you're gaslighting yourself. [S1] What does ...
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[S1] Usually when it sounds easy, it's not, right? [S2] Oh. [S1] And when you start to feel the feels, you know how I said anhedonia is contagious? Joy is contagious too. And I experienced this with my lab. When I was happier and more joyful, my lab, they were happier, more joyful. When I was happier and more joyful, m...
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[S1] And again, it's contagious. So if you think that you're high functioning and you're pushing through, look around you. Your kids are doing it. Your partner's doing it. Your, your coworkers are doing it, right? If you start to have that joy, people will want it. They're gonna be like, "What's, what's that person doi...
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[S1] ... spots. [S2] Well, I think that's also why it's persisted for so long, 'cause we're all doing it. [S1] Yes. [S2] Everybody's kind of at that same level of feeling like they're just getting by. You know, I'm curious, what is one thing as a psychiatrist that you never do because you know it robs you of the joy an...
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[S1] ... than a fellow learning how to treat children. So that was after a huge life change when I switched out of anesthesiology into psychiatry. So I was just, like, trying to figure things out. [S2] Right. [S1] Then the next five years, I was starting a business, starting a lab, seeing patients, a new, a new wife, a...
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[S1] And then the last five years, navigating life as a single mother, navigating life without a business partner, like doing it all on my own, but with my team, I've just seen so many things. So when, when you say never, wow, there's so many things. [S2] Well, give them all. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] We'll take them all.
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[S1] First of all, never say never. If you ask me- [S2] Wait, okay. [S1] If you ask me when I was a medical student, "Are you going to be a psychiatrist?" I was like, "I'm not working with crazy people." I came to medical school to be a real doctor, you know, 'cause I was raised by Caribbean-American parents, like the ...
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[S1] Like- [S2] How? [S1] Oh, my goodness. In so many ways. I look at people and relationships so differently based on what I've learned. I, like, att- I see attachment theory everywhere I turn, you know? Like, so it's just, and it's really ca- really, um, shifted the way that I approach life and how I approach the ide...
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[S1] I mean, there's no award for that. And you can't take those accolades to the grave, right? So, no is not, not a negative. New sometimes feels very unnatural, but new can be good. So don't be afraid of change, right? Normal is not real. So we're learning that neurodivergence, neurodiversity is a thing. We're all, w...
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[S1] Yeah, for you type A people. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] We're going to turn this into a competition. No, I'm just kidding. What, you know, as a, as a practicing psychiatrist and researcher, what are the top ways that people can bring more joy into their daily life? Like the simple things that you would recommend to somebo...
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[S1] I look at the bio-psycho-social model, right? [S2] Okay. [S1] Biology, like your body. So you can eat things that are proven to boost your mood. [S2] Like what? [S1] Green vegetables, uh, omega-3 fatty acid foods like certain fish, berries that are antioxidants, dark chocolate. You know, there's something in these...
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[S1] In the past four months, things have been so insanely busy here at work and with some changes, you know, in my home life, living up in Vermont and be- like all that, I don't even go to the details, but that I haven't, I've stopped doing all those little things that made me feel grounded and connected and alive and...
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[S1] When you think of happy, there's a picture. This is happy and this is what it has to be. But happier. Increase the points in a day. It's not about being happy, it's about being happier. [S2] How long does this take? See, I'm so type A. I'm like, I wanna know. Like, if I start doing, like, what could somebody expec...
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[S1] It starts right away. The moment you start slowing down and enjoying that point of joy, that sip of water, you've already increased a point, right? It's that simple. But doing it slowly and adding up the points matters. [S2] What are the simple steps for taking better care of yourself in 2024? [S1] So we have like...
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[S1] ... typical self-care, right? Like the halts. If you're hungry, eat. If you're angry, do something positive to self-soothe. If you're lonely, phone a friend. If you're tired, take a rest. And I have, I added an S to it. [S2] Okay. [S1] For stuck. 'Cause that's what I, like, refer to anhedonia is, sometimes you jus...
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[S1] You know, it's interesting because I think it, it, I see it a lot across different industries. For example, I was pre-med. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so when you look at the pre-med track kids, they are just like, you're like, "Oh my goodness." Like, "Their future's gonna be hard." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] That's anhedonia, ...
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[S1] Until it becomes perform, perform, perform, hide your feelings. No one wants to see you sad, right? So you're doing something you love, you're getting joy, and then when it's time for the job and the accolades, it's like, well, you can't ever show your true feelings. Show up happy. No one wants to see a sad face. ...
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[S1] So I think it depends on the industry, but I do think certain industries breed this. Teachers, we talked about educators, how, what they went through. How many educators, they start off like, "Oh, I love what I do." And then now it's like, "Well, I have to stay after school and help this child, this student. Um, y...
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[S1] One of the, my friends said to me back then, they said, "You're either going to be a millionaire or in jail." I was that desperate. [S2] To leave a situation that you know isn't right for you. I think that is the hardest decision on the planet for most people. [S1] It all comes back to what is the most important g...
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[S1] Steven asks his watchers to subscribe. This is what I learned from him. Please subscribe. I want 50% of the people that watch this channel to be subscribers 'cause it helps me get people like Steven to you for free. All right, you ready? Good. Let's jump into that conversation that I recently had with none other t...
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[S1] You are somebody who I really admire, and if there's a pace car in personal development, you're it. [S2] Oh, wow. [S1] And so, this interview is a huge gift for everybody listening, because I am just curious about how you think and how you make decisions. And
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[S1] What, to use your word, drives or drags you. I personally think anybody listening at any age could take what you're about to teach us- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... from your own experience and apply it to the beliefs that are holding them back. And so I wanna- [S2] Oh, gosh. [S1] ... show you. [S2] Now, this is a, a phot...
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[S1] preschool when I was, oh God, it must have been three years old. Yeah, three years old. Feels like a different person. It's so strange looking at, looking at my former self. It feels like such a different person. [S2] Is it a different person that you're looking at? [S1] [LAUGHS] Uh, he looked so,
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[S1] get, get to the point of bankruptcy. And that's when things, I think, start to change, 'cause she spends all of her time in her corner shop, trying to make money, trying to start businesses. People are breaking into the corner shop at night to abuse her and steal her stuff, so she decides just to sleep in there on...
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[S1] That's what you did. But so many other people in that moment light up the blunt or they start drinking or they don't go to school ever again and just start down the path of, "I must be a loser. My parents aren't here." And you didn't do that. [S2] For some- [S1] It doesn't sound like. [S2] It's hard to take credit...
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[S1] ... the difference between how you coped with that situation. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And how so many of us cope, which is to tune out. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Or to numb out, or to just
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[S1] I heard you say this on my podcast, which is exactly the way I always view it, is we are all born with this internal signal called, um, call it intuition. Um, I just call it how you feel. [S2] Hmm. [S1] And as we grow up, we're almost brainwashed by society to tune out of that voice, which is there, and to tune in...
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[S1] Mm. [S2] And this how you should feel voice is, you make a million pounds, you have a nice car, you should feel- [S1] Mm. [S2] ... like this. So we tune into that and we let that voice gu- like guide us. But it just guides us to nowhere good. It gu- guides us to midlife crises, it guides us to health breakdowns wh...
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[S1] ... voice is actually guiding you to somewhere you should be, where your health and happiness is, then you will create a life in a very short amount of time that's very closely resembles the one you've always dreamed of. If you're very bad at tuning into that voice, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll live with this se...
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[S1] You have known this since you were little. I just had this insight about you, that you have been at war internally with what the world was telling you how you should feel. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And knowing deeply that that's not how you feel about yourself. [S2] That is, that is the story of my, both my childhood and ...
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[S1] When I hear you talk, I'm like, "Push my ass off that cliff. Let's go. Tell, tell me where the circle is, Steven," because I want the light bulb moment that you have that is part of the belief system that you have cultivated and that you over and over and over and over and over again demonstrate with how you show ...
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[S1] Our own happiness. And happiness is such a strange word. [S2] Right. [S1] So I'm using it intentionally, ambiguously. You can define it for yourself. But I think that should be the North Star. And when that is the North Star, anything that stands to compromise your chance of happiness is the greatest risk of all. ...
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[S1] And you've got it exactly wrong because the biggest risk is staying in banking. [S2] Yes. [S1] When the greatest
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[S1] I'd say more than almost anybody I've ever met. And I don't know you very well, but I just watch what you're doing from this side of the pond. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I've listened to enough of your interviews and read your books that it is very clear that your superpower is in making decisions
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[S1] There's two things that came to mind when you said that. I was reading about Jeff Bezos, who built Amazon, um, you know, second most value, highly valued company in the world. I think it's worth $2 trillion or something. And in one of his shareholder letters, he says that there's two types of decisions in life. Yo...
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[S1] Let me give you a personal example of a decision, a, a type two decision that I think people think is a type one. [S2] Yeah. [S1] One of the best things that you could do if you are in a relationship that sucks or is sucking the life force out of you is to break up. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Or if you're married, to say out...
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[S1] causes a change in the relationship for the better. [S2] Or for the, or if not. [S1] Or not. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Or not. But the only way that relationship is actually changing is if you make a decision to say the way that it is isn't working. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so I personally feel like part of the, the framewor...
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[S1] insanely helpful. And the issue for most of us is that we mistake those type two decisions- [S2] 100%. [S1] ... for something else. And- [S2] She can go back and be a banker. [S1] Of course. That's true. She can go back and be a banker. [S2] And yet she's-
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