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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926957 | [S1] He found that the most liked kids, the most popular kids, had the longest list of people they liked. [S2] Oh. [S1] Yes. In other words- [S2] Oh. [S1] Yes. We are in control of our likeability. That if we find ways to like more people, we become more likeable. | 23.16 | 3.237724 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926957.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926958 | [S1] And in the hallways, when he studied these really likeable kids that everyone put on their like list, they weren't, you know, having hours long conversations in the cafeteria. They weren't, you know, checking in on everyone all the time. They were just acknowledging every single person in the hallway, usually by n... | 29.88 | 3.304032 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926958.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926959 | [S1] You being likable is about spreading likeability. And it starts with you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But if you can find, and I mean assertively, find ways to like people, you become more likeable. And that means the onus is on you. But if you're ambivalent about those people, so those question marks on your list, stop han... | 26.56 | 3.012353 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926959.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926960 | [S1] Find the things that you love about each other. Find the commonalities and make sure they know it. I think too often as adults especially, we, we, we're too cool to show that we like people. [S2] Right. [S1] You know, we play it cool. We don't, we hold back. We don't want to be the first liker. No. My mission in l... | 29.56 | 3.388159 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926960.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926961 | [S1] So I like you, Mel. [S2] I, I adore you. [S1] Okay, I'll take it. [S2] I like your brain, I like your takeaways, I like your energy, I like your enthusiasm. [S1] Woo! Woo! [S2] I like what is clearly a commitment- [S1] Oh, yeah. [S2] ... that you have to helping us- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... be more influential and also... | 28.2 | 3.271232 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926961.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926962 | [S1] It's so, I felt, I felt, uh, emotional when you said you adored me. I was like, "Oh." [S2] Well, you know, because I think so many of us walk around feeling like shit about ourselves. [S1] Yes. [S2] And so if somebody just walks by and is like, "Hey, I love your sweater. You look great today." You're like, "Oh, | 13.68 | 3.336941 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926962.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926963 | [S1] Thank you. [S2] Yeah. Or even, "I really like working with you." [S1] Yeah. [S2] I don't know if I tell you that enough. I love when you're in a meeting with me. [S1] Aww. [S2] Right? Like, to be able to say that, and that's why it's so critical, that first exercise of, of knowing who you like and not being ambiva... | 24.52 | 3.482534 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926963.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926964 | [S1] I think that the way that we prevent burnout is, yes, we can be doing lots of things, but if we're working with people we like and we're doing tasks we like and we can all feel good about it, it gives energy. Like it, it makes you feel so good. And so I think that making that list of people you like, I want that l... | 23.72 | 3.433685 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926964.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926965 | [S1] You mentioned, um, the fake. [S2] Uh-huh. [S1] Don't fake it. And, and I'm asking this because I completely understand the counsel and advice about removing things you're ambivalent about. [S2] Yeah. | 16.92 | 3.404674 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926965.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926966 | [S1] I would just like to know, though, because I do think that there's that kindness of acknowledging people and saying hello to people and calling them by name. [S2] Yes. [S1] And, but you're talking about, like, authentically, aggressively liking people. [S2] I am. [S1] So does it backfire if you fake | 16.24 | 3.413836 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926966.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926967 | [S1] ... this? [S2] Okay. I struggle with this one because I don't love the idea of fake it 'till you make it. [S1] Me either. [S2] Yeah. But I understand that there are folks who have to employ that tool- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... to step into themselves. So if that's you, that's okay. If that works for you, that's okay. | 18.92 | 3.415573 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926967.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926968 | [S1] But fake doesn't really work. And they've actually studied this. So Dr. Barbara Wild and her associates brought participants into her lab and she showed them pictures of people who were authentically smiling. In other words, when they took the picture, they were told, "Think of something that makes you happy." [S2... | 28.76 | 3.440693 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926968.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926969 | [S1] So that means that if you want to be more contagious, if you want to spread positivity, likeability, real, authentic happiness is more contagious. However, the people who saw the fake picture did not have a worse mood. They just had no mood change at all. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So the way that I would frame this is, I ... | 21.08 | 3.411868 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926969.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926971 | [S1] I'm optimistic that one day we'll figure it out. I'm optimistic that one day we'll find something that we both like. I think that's okay. I think being fake with hope is okay. [S2] Mm. That I like. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Because what's authentic is your desire that it change for the better. [S1] Yes. Yes. [S2] So you're ... | 26.2 | 3.272353 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926971.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926972 | [S1] more likeable? [S2] Yes. Okay, so I think there's a misconception that to be likeable, you have to be perfect. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Or you have to be impressive. And so, if that was, I'm a recovering awkward person, that was me, for many years, trying desperately to ha- like, be perfect and be impressive and have fun... | 17.32 | 3.470457 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926972.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926973 | [S1] With the strawberries and the bananas. And she blended it up and she poured it over smoothies. And they had everyone in the, in the, in the mall rate her on likeability. Then they had a series of them where she spilled the smoothie. [S2] Oh. [S1] Okay. She dripped it, spilled it. Oh my gosh, so sorry about that. J... | 23.76 | 3.344444 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926973.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926974 | [S1] What a gift to know that your mistakes make you more likeable. The reason for this is because we know no one is perfect. We know this. And we also know that if someone is trying to impress us, they might be trying to cover something up. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so I love the idea of likeable people are not prettier, ... | 28.04 | 3.484401 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926974.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926976 | [S1] So one is always look at toe direction. [S2] Okay. [S1] It can also show you hidden crushes. Not always, but sometimes. Usually I can tell when someone has a little crushy crush on someone else based on where their toes... And, and that person will move and that, and the person's toes who has a crush on them will ... | 22.2 | 3.544768 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926976.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926977 | [S1] they feel good. But that's very socially aggressive. Like, I'm not gonna advise people to walk into a room, "I'm here." [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? It's too much. What, the two measurements that actually matter the most for being impactful or spotting an impactful person are the distance between our ear lobes and our s... | 26.32 | 3.126745 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926977.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926978 | [S1] ... six inches, something like that. [S2] And, and so for you, that's maxed. [S1] Okay. [S2] Try to put your shoulders down as much as possible. [S1] Like down? Okay. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That's the most, right? [S2] I just want to explain, 'cause you can see this on YouTube, but basically just imagine, uh, as you're l... | 20.56 | 3.244898 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926978.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926979 | [S1] Turtle. [S2] Turtle, turtle your head. Put your shoulders up. Try to touch your ears to your shoulders. [S1] Yeah, look, like, like, pretend you're a teenager who's staring at your phone. [S2] Yes. This is what happens. So, as we do this, a couple things happen. One is we feel terrible. [S1] Yes. [S2] You feel ter... | 29.8 | 3.357933 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926979.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926981 | [S1] Yes. Oh, yes. [S2] And you are, like, the idea of the spotlight being on you is your worst nightmare, but you do want to become more assertive, or you at least want people to look at you and go, "She's confident, he's confident, they are an influential person." [S1] Yes. [S2] What are, what's the, | 17.8 | 3.41863 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926981.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926982 | [S1] ... the body language that you can start to practice. [S2] Okay, well, first of all, I write books for you because I believe your cues can speak for you. [S1] Okay. [S2] Interview, introverts, your cues are even more important because you can use small micro cues non-verbally to speak for you, right? Okay, so for ... | 27.2 | 3.487762 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926982.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926983 | [S1] Hi. [S2] You're on Zoom and your shoulders are up your- [S1] And your shoulders are up your ears, or you're waving hello with your shoulders up yours, or they walk into a date, or they walk into a meeting. Morning. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Your first impression is now little, small, defeated. [S2] Here's the cue I want ... | 26.4 | 3.077211 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926983.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926984 | [S1] being terrified of seeing a group of cool kids. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And the badass powerhouse that we know that you are inside. And I want you to imagine that your friend Mel Robbins is on one side of you and your friend Vanessa Van Edwards is on the other side of you. And I want you to pull that body language togethe... | 24.4 | 3.348525 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926984.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926985 | [S1] That is why we're doing it. When I turtled- [S2] That's why we do this? [S1] Yes, it's an evolutionary cue. So if I turtle my neck down and I tilt my chin down and I hunch my shoulders up, my, my, uh, throat is more protected. That is a more protected gesture. So it's, there's an evolutionary reason why we do it. ... | 20.84 | 3.332952 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926985.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926986 | [S1] I want to make sure you got that. So if you're watching on YouTube, you're going to follow along. As you're listening to us, as long as you're not driving a car, I want you to actually experience what Vanessa's talking about. So I want you to take, we walk a certain, like you take your chin and you point it down a... | 19.08 | 3.436813 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926986.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926987 | [S1] Okay. [S2] Now, hunch your shoulders up and then turtle your ears down so you're as small as possible so your jugular, your neck is protected. If you sit like this- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... you are going to begin to feel more awkward and uncomfortable. You're going to lose oxygen. [S1] Well, it's hard to breathe almost,... | 19.48 | 2.921367 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926987.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926988 | [S1] Up and out. [S2] Up and out. [S1] Up and out. [S2] Right. So when I check my phone, especially before something important, I am not hunched over with my chin tucked in and my, and my arms tucked tightly to my chest, which we're going to talk about in a second. I am up and out. So I'm claiming my space. My phone is... | 29.32 | 3.264962 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926988.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926989 | [S1] Based on the body language. [S2] This pose, if you're not watching on YouTube, is the kind of pose you would imagine somebody sitting in, in a gymnasium at a dance where they haven't been asked- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... to dance. [S1] Yes. Yes. [S2] And so, as you cross your arms in front of your body and you kinda roll... | 21.76 | 3.265672 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926989.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926990 | [S1] And it might- [S2] Like, like, I'm literally like, wow, I could get attacked at any time right now. [S1] That's it. That's it, because it's a protective gesture. This com- These all come from a re- for a reason, right? These body language cues are not made up. The reason why they're universal, not all body languag... | 21.64 | 3.453857 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926990.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926991 | [S1] someone attacking me, I want to protect my vital organs, I want to not have my flanks exposed, and I want to take up as little space as possible- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... so no one notices me. So we forget that when we're sitting in a meeting or we're going on a date or we're trying to psych ourselves up, or we're sitt... | 25.84 | 3.416062 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926991.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926992 | [S1] Okay. [S2] So, this chair is actually a little hard, right? [S1] 'Cause, yeah, we're getting new chairs. [S2] I can do it. I can get new chairs. [S1] The higher arms. [S2] These are okay. We have small arm rests. [S1] Well, you and I are both very tall. [S2] We're very tall. [S1] So, this might work. [S2] I know. ... | 17.36 | 3.038025 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926992.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926993 | [S1] And this. [S2] And for you listening, all we're doing is moving our elbows out to the side. [S1] Okay. [S2] That's it. [S1] That's it. So I'm actually okay, you know, my mom would not be, not be happy with me. I'm actually okay with elbows in the table if they're nice and broad. You can see space. I'm not trying t... | 27.32 | 3.124896 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926993.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926994 | [S1] I just love to cal- [S2] I don't either. [S1] Never. [S2] You know why else I pick a chair with an armrest? 'Cause I like to swivel. [S1] Oh, the swivel is so good. [S2] And rock, and I like to cock an elbow on the back of the chair. [S1] That's so good. [S2] Like this. [S1] This is so good. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So con... | 21.4 | 2.868552 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926994.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926995 | [S1] You know, it's super great also for someone, especially if you're listening and you're shy, you're introverted, you don't like the attention on you. These are non-verbal things- [S2] Non-verbal. [S1] ... you can do that based on the research- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... demonstrate that you're confident, that you're influe... | 24.24 | 3.420135 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926995.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926996 | [S1] Okay. [S2] So a steeple is when you touch the tops of your fingertips slightly together and you keep a space between your palms. It is the most calm, broad gesture for your hand. You can do it with an arm rest, you can do it on the table. Right, now, just be careful, don't drum. That's evil drumming. [S1] Oh. [S2]... | 29.44 | 3.425936 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926996.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926997 | [S1] You know, just as you put it. [S2] And the powers unite. [S1] Good. [S2] Yes. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Yes. So, so it's a very relaxed gesture. Now, whenever I teach a cue, there are 97 cues, right? Not every cue is gonna work for you. [S1] Okay. [S2] That's okay. I recommend, please try it three times in three different s... | 29.44 | 3.447883 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926997.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926998 | [S1] Second, we're gonna just go, okay, I love a, I love a steeple. The other one is a very small, little, subtle gesture, but it's a cue of excitement. So, leaders, highly effective people, are cuing people around them to know how to feel. Cues tell others how they should treat us. So, this one's my, really good one. ... | 20.84 | 3.338891 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926998.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926999 | [S1] hands together as you're talking. [S2] So like, when I'm about to say something, "Oh, this is really good. This is really exciting." Even that small little gesture should be like, "Ooh, this is gonna be good." I don't know why. I think it's 'cause we warm our hands this way. But a very subtle one is if you're abou... | 28.56 | 3.488432 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0926999.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927000 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] They were fire. [S1] Make a fire. Oh, yes. So it's like- [S2] So like it's a- [S1] ... literally generating heat. [S2] Yes. That's so cool is what you're signaling. [S1] We're generating conversational heat if you're going to go with the metaphor. [S2] Wow. [S1] Now, the, the common line really, the, th... | 26.32 | 2.85999 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927000.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927001 | [S1] they claim space with their shoulders and their arms. They have their hands visible 'cause they want to show intention. We, some gestures communicate 400% more information. Like if I were to say three, you're more likely to believe my three than if I were to say three and hold up five. So we just believe hands mor... | 27.76 | 3.455541 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927001.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927002 | [S1] Like all five fingers. [S2] Yeah, it's a thumb. [S1] A thumb is a finger. [S2] Okay. [S1] Yes. By the way, try, hold up five, but say three. [S2] Three. [S1] Horrible. [S2] It's like, and you just- [S1] Can't do it. [S2] It doesn't, I'm trying to do it as you're listening. [S1] Try it. [S2] Why don't you try to do... | 21.24 | 2.998852 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927002.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927004 | [S1] And I were to hold up my hands like this in a very small, like I'm holding a little dime or a penny, you would say, "Vanessa, it's small." So our brain subconsciously knows this. We are more likely to believe a gesture over a word. [S2] Interesting. [S1] That is why highly competent people are so good with their g... | 16.16 | 3.308956 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927004.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927005 | [S1] I believe in my content so much. I know my stuff so well that I can speak to you on two tracks. [S2] Mouth and hand. [S1] Yes. And so another kind of expert levels of bottom is keep 'em visible. Keep your hands visible, out of pockets above the desk, right? I like to greet hands first. Second is, can you be explan... | 23.6 | 3.285836 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927005.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927006 | [S1] for, for you listening, I really want you to get this. You might want to check out the YouTube version so that you can watch this. But as she was saying, big idea, she literally held her hands out to, to be demonstrative with her hands. And it does communicate belief. [S2] Underlines. [S1] And it's like a, you're ... | 23.32 | 3.461719 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927006.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927007 | [S1] I believe in this. [S2] And, and it's purposeful, right? So it's not just gestures for the sake of gestures where I'm just jazz hands-ing it. [S1] Yeah. [S2] It's like underlining purposefully. It's like giving someone an outline. [S1] That's so cool. So- | 10.2 | 3.3777 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927007.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927008 | [S1] Okay. [S2] Volume immediately gets rid of vocal fry. So if you hear yourself going into that pattern where it's like a sizzling pan, just speak a little bit louder. Same thing if you hear someone using vocal fry, you can ask them to speak up. [S1] Got it. [S2] So non-verbal we talked about. | 14.24 | 3.352913 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927008.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927010 | [S1] ... bodies. [S2] You're like, "People are sitting in their labs? That's so interesting." [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] We should do all of your interviews like that. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Okay. They brought people into their lab and they split them up into two different groups. The first group came into the lab, they were greet... | 19.2 | 3.130087 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927010.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927011 | [S1] The second group came into the same lab, the same researcher, and they were told, "Today you are playing the Wall Street game." But the trick was, the games were exactly the same. Everything was the same except for that single word, "cue." So, being told you were playing the community game versus being told you we... | 23.88 | 3.441183 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927011.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927012 | [S1] Guess what happened? [S2] People that were in the Wall Street game immediately, like, turned it on, like, "I'm gonna win." [S1] Uh-huh. [S2] And people who were told, "We're gonna play the community game," they turned it on to be connected. [S1] Okay. | 12.16 | 3.358817 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927012.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927013 | [S1] So- [S2] Am I right? [S1] You're exactly right, but the outcome is a little bit sadder than that. [S2] Oh, okay. Oh, no. [S1] But the outcome is sad. You're right. The Wall Street people wanted to win, which means they shared an average of one-third of their profits. In the community game, people shared an average... | 22.36 | 3.381612 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927013.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927014 | [S1] ... thought about sharing or being less communal. So they didn't want to share as much. They were primed by the idea of Wall Street. [S2] Wow. [S1] Whereas people who were told they were playing the community game actually acted more collaboratively. | 12.88 | 3.454824 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927014.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927015 | [S1] This is an incredible study because it shows that we can change someone's behavior with one single word. So when you think about your calendar invites, what kind of calendar invites are you sending? I don't know about you, but I usually get call, meeting, one-on-one- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... conference, video call, Zoo... | 27.28 | 3.452569 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927015.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927016 | [S1] What I want you to do is think about how can you play the community game. What do you want someone to feel, think, and behave like when they see that invite pop up in their inbox? [S2] What do you recommend? [S1] Okay. Collaborative session, 2024 wins, goal meeting, mastery meeting, team session, team collaboratio... | 22.52 | 3.268618 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927016.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927017 | [S1] I, I'm yelling at everybody now. [S2] Yes. [S1] We're, we're implementing that. [S2] Yes. Yes. And no more emails that say, "Subject follow up." [S1] Oh. [S2] Follow up is the worst subject line in the history. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Worst one in his- | 9.24 | 3.164828 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927017.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927018 | [S1] Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm so thrilled that you're here. You and I are learning so much about leveling up in the habits of people who are highly influential. That's you. And so, Vanessa, for someone, though, that is, again, nervous about saying the wrong thing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Are there certain wor- word... | 24.92 | 3.128373 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927018.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927019 | [S1] Mm. [S2] So for people who are nervous about what they're saying, what I would say is you don't have to say more. You just have to be more purposeful with what you say. I think that's a common misconception of people who are nervous or introverted is they, they don't want to have to say more to exp- to ex- explain... | 27.28 | 3.441702 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927019.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927020 | [S1] I'm wearing sweats, let's go. [S2] Right. Those words- [S1] Yes, I'm ready to run. [S2] ... that changes your perception of the day. It also changes how you would act in the day. There's another study that was follow, there was many studies that show the power of our words, especially behavior cues, but there's on... | 15.52 | 3.121845 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927020.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927021 | [S1] So, what they did is they had participants come into their lab and they gave them a basic task, like an intelligence task. And they had two different versions of the task. One had a set of sterile, formal directions. [S2] Okay. [S1] The kind of directions you always see. Please be completely following the best of ... | 19.36 | 3.376489 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927021.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927022 | [S1] It is a gift to use these words, to not be on autopilot with your emails, to not be on autopilot with your calendar invite. The onus is on us to wake up our words, to take interactions off of autopilot, and to gift people motivation. That is our job. [S2] I'm ready to win. Let's go. [S1] That's it. [S2] I'm ready ... | 18.6 | 3.324987 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927022.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927023 | [S1] So one, I think that a very simple research fact answer would be use more behavior cues on yourself, right? Use words like win for yourself. Like- [S2] Give me an example. [S1] Okay. On my calendar, when I have to do my research, I'm in a research year right now, I don't label it Vanessa block, right? Or, uh, Vane... | 29.88 | 3.313661 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927023.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927024 | [S1] That is my research-backed answer, and it works. It does work. [S2] How can you talk to anyone with ease and confidence? [S1] Ah, yes. Okay, first of all, transparency. So like, I think the more that we can talk about our own behavior, the better. [S2] Okay. [S1] But I think that how we talk to anyone with ease an... | 18.12 | 3.319518 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927024.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927025 | [S1] Conversations become stilted. Conversations become difficult. When we're both of us are on autopilot, this sounds like this. Hey, how's it going? [S2] Good. [S1] Busy. [S2] Good. [S1] Right? [S2] Busy, good. Oh, how about you? [S1] Yeah, busy, but good. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] How are the kids? [S2] Oh, good. [S1] That'... | 27.32 | 3.265882 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927025.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927026 | [S1] What's good. What's good this week? Or you ask me this at the interview, working on anything exciting recently? So what's good? Working on anything exciting recently? And specifically with what do you do? That question is problematic for me 'cause I think that what you're really asking is what are you worth? [S2] ... | 27.84 | 3.331062 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927026.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927027 | [S1] Like working on applications to go to school. [S2] Yes. [S1] Or you're working on- [S2] Say, "Mom." [S1] ... training for something. [S2] Yes. [S1] Or I'm working on not losing it with my children, or- [S2] Yes, exactly. [S1] Yes. [S2] You, that question gives someone permission to tell you what they are excited a... | 22.92 | 3.418628 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927027.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927029 | [S1] And then I literally talk about how busy I am. [S2] Yes, so- [S1] Instead of the thing that I'm excited about. [S2] Exactly. And it actually triggers this negative loop of only talking about bad things. So, one, never open on autopilot. Two, try to talk about things that are exciting. And three, if you can, | 16.2 | 3.350105 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927029.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927030 | [S1] You want to level up the conversation. [S2] How? [S1] So, this doesn't mean, I, I think a big mistake that people make is they ask too deep questions too quickly. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So, like, I don't want you to be like, "What's your biggest dream in life?" [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Like, like, an introvert is gonna run. ... | 17 | 3.312239 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927030.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927031 | [S1] Okay. So introverts and ambiverts hate this question. [S2] What's an ambivert? [S1] Oh, an ambivert is someone who's in between introvert and extrovert. They're called social introverts or introverted extroverts. So an ambivert, they can- [S2] That is me. [S1] Yeah, I know, I know. That's you. Yeah. So you're an a... | 23.32 | 3.422527 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927031.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927032 | [S1] What was the highlight of your week? Those were two of the highest- [S2] I like the second one. [S1] ... question, right? Or have any fun plans coming up? Those are the high- still safe, right? If you just met someone or you're just catching up, those are all safe questions. So that's how- you want to think very c... | 20.4 | 3.37388 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927032.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927033 | [S1] Yes, yes. Okay, so this is not my research, but it's research that I found that I was like, "How does not, how does everyone not know about this?" 58,000 working hours- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... across 11 different companies. So this is a massive amount of data. And these are companies in different industries, okay? Wha... | 25.56 | 3.131668 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927033.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927034 | [S1] But you also can hang out with high performers. And so I think that, that power, you can get it from others, great, and you can also give it to others, both. [S2] I also understand that the research shows that the negative is true. That if you sit in the wrong place or near, like, the wrong person, how do you even... | 17.56 | 3.406461 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927034.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927035 | [S1] How do you even know? Like, oh, so what are we looking for? [S2] If you sit next to a low performer, it decreases your per- performance by 30%. [S1] What? [S2] Yes. Let me break it down. So, [LAUGHS] this was study was done. They brought people into their lab, and again, they split them up into two different group... | 28 | 3.443029 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927035.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927036 | [S1] Pretty gross. The second group wore sweat suits and then did, were first-time skydivers. They had them jump out of planes wearing the sweat suit. Then they had two samples of sweat, non-fear sweat and fear sweat. [S2] Okay. [S1] Right? They took these samples and they had unsuspecting participants smell | 19.92 | 3.273884 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927036.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927037 | [S1] [laughs] The samples. They had no idea what they were smelling, but they had them smell these sweaty armpits of these folks, and they put them in fMRI machines, and they measured their brain patterns. They found that everyone who smelled the fear sweat, even though they had no idea what they were smelling, caught ... | 29.92 | 3.179522 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927037.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927038 | [S1] That leaks out and we catch other people's fear. So I think the kind of last channel of this is if you are secretly afraid. [S2] Mm, at work. [S1] I think that we leak that out in micro cues, small non-verbal cues, chemical cues, and that is contagious. So | 23.2 | 3.096808 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927038.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927039 | [S1] Okay, so we did, um, at our speed networking events, we had kind of like a pre-session where we observed the foot patterns of people on this map. We had a map of the event and we tracked where people were walking. [S2] Interesting. [S1] And we noticed patterns across the events. It was across multiple different ev... | 29.84 | 3.348011 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927039.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927040 | [S1] You are not going to be able to make a connection in that start zone. So do not- [S2] A thousand percent correct. [S1] Right. Right. And that's a mistake that a lot of introverts will make. They stand there 'cause they don't know anyone and they're afraid to penetrate the room. No, it's actually triggering even mo... | 18.04 | 3.398709 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927040.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927041 | [S1] If someone is pounced on, when they are doing that kind of wide-eyed survey of glances, they are literally, like, chemically not ready yet. [S2] Wow. [S1] But they're not settled enough. [S2] Where do I stand? [S1] Okay. So the best place, this is where the longest conversations happens and the most business cards... | 20.92 | 3.323748 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927041.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927042 | [S1] It's- [S2] You're going to an event alone. [S1] Yes. Um, if you're going to an event alone, I do highly recommend staying in that, that exit the bar. The other place for a single person, or if you're going to an event alone, is in the eye line of the host or the most connected person. Here's why. If the host can s... | 24.28 | 3.334708 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927042.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927045 | [S1] Exactly. So what is your favorite productivity exercise? [S2] Mm. [S1] How do we increase our... | 5.32 | 3.106182 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927045.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927046 | [S1] her focus. [S2] Okay. So I have a very unique approach to productivity and I want to play a little game. [S1] Let's do it. [S2] Are you ready to play a little game? Okay, so if you're listening, if you can get a pen and paper, that would be great. If not, just use your memory. We'll, we'll play a little game toget... | 26.96 | 2.980165 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927046.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927047 | [S1] B, C, and D, with four columns. [S2] Okay. So you're just making four columns. [S1] Yeah. [S2] One says A, one says B, one says C, one says D. | 9.48 | 3.182486 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927047.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927048 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] Got it. Okay. [S1] A, B, C, D. Okay. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna break your tasks and your work to energy and your social energy into A, B, C, D work. Your A work, we're gonna start there. Your A work is only the tasks that you are better at than most people. [S2] Okay. So A is what I would ge... | 28.88 | 3.091709 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927048.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927049 | [S1] And you might even be known for it. So I want you to list different tasks on your A-work. [S2] Okay. [S1] I also want you to list some social energy tasks. So where do you thrive? Like, what is your favorite way to socialize? Who are your A-people that you just, like, feel, like, yourself, you're authentic. They g... | 17.24 | 3.037068 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927049.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927050 | [S1] So I want you to put some of those things on there. Tasks on top, energy on the bottom, social energy on the bottom. B. [S2] Yes. [S1] B is where my smart people get tripped up. [S2] What's B? [S1] B is the work you're pretty good at, but you're not the best at it. They're not tasks that you hit flow. They're task... | 23.84 | 3.393056 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927050.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927051 | [S1] This is the hardest column. [S2] Why is this the hardest? [S1] It's because we have to dis- distinguish between tasks that we're exceptionally good at, that we hit flow at, and tasks that we're pretty good at. And smart people have a, have a lot of things on their B-list, but not always a lot of things on their A-... | 27.4 | 3.315425 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927051.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927052 | [S1] You don't feel drained from it, but, you know, like you can do it. Same with people. You enjoy spending time with them, but you would have to give a little bit of social energy to spend time with them. So you're B people. [S2] Okay. [S1] Take some time doing that. C work. [S2] C. [S1] Okay. C work is work you are ... | 26.2 | 3.49522 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927052.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927053 | [S1] Right? You're like, "Oh, like, I'm not, like, I'm not so great at that. I wouldn't want people to see it really well." So that's your C-work is your average. D-work should be the obvious one. D-work is work you are bad at. [S2] Got it. [S1] D is work you are worse than most people at this task. You should not be d... | 24.36 | 3.334407 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927053.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927054 | [S1] Your entire day should also be... I know, it's a little uncomfortable. [S2] Okay. [S1] Your entire day should be about figuring out the people you work with, what is their A-work, and gifting their A-work away. A mistake that people make on teams or when partnering up is they partner with people who have the same ... | 20.76 | 3.323468 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927054.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927055 | [S1] I mean, this is really cool. I, I am looking at my list, and as you're doing this, and you're listening along- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... I'm just gonna try to recap so that I wanna make sure that you get this. [S2] Yes. And if you're willing to give examples, I think it would be very interesting to hear them. [S1] Oka... | 17.88 | 3.349265 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927055.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927056 | [S1] Yeah, I think we should. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So do you want to start with A? [S2] A. Yes. [S1] Okay. So I am fantastic at giving ideas. Ideation. [S2] Oh, yes. [S1] Like if you want somebody to open a can of worms and like to start flying ideas and getting everybody off track, call Mel Robbins. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I ca... | 21.24 | 3.415698 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927056.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927058 | [S1] Okay, so here's what's critical. Busy people like you, you often give that away. So as you get busy and you're doing back-to-back interviews, don't give away the ideation, ideation time after your interview. Don't give away- [S2] Oh. [S1] ... content ideation to someone else in your team because that's your A-work... | 19.68 | 3.515203 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927058.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927059 | [S1] And so that could happen as we level up or we become managers, is we end up accidentally giving away our best work. [S2] Mm. [S1] So make sure you, there is someone on your team that you are ideating with. [S2] It's great. [S1] You're not giving it away. [S2] Tracy Mertz sitting over there. Uh, second thing, busin... | 25.88 | 3.298019 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927059.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927060 | [S1] Period. [S2] Okay, so this is really important because what happens when you get busy and successful is you have an agent or a manager, right? You're not always in the room. [S1] Correct. [S2] And so that means that you have to hire someone who's A work is that, and they know that if it's a particularly hard close... | 17.12 | 3.263177 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927060.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927061 | [S1] Um, creative direction. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I just don't have any time for it. So I, uh, was a film major in college and just spent my entire college, uh, career in an editing room, and I love that I have zero time for it. [S2] Is there a way you could do it one morning a month? [S1] Probably. Uh- [S2] I think that'... | 26.8 | 3.315666 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927061.mp3 | [
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