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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927062 | [S1] Probably. [S2] Yeah, well, we're giving, I mean, I do it all the time. I just feel like it's, it's, and then recording. I mean, obviously the skills in terms of being able to just turn on a camera and go and coaching. [S1] Yes. [S2] On the fly. [S1] Yes. [S2] Would be another thing in the A. And then in terms of s... | 18.72 | 3.319055 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927062.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927064 | [S1] I can't. I, I destroy structure. [S2] Love it. Love it. Okay. So the recipe for anti-burnout for Mel- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... is looking at your task list for your week, for your day, for your month. Everything that is not in that A column should not be on your list. [S1] Christine, um, I hear that you need- | 20.24 | 3.489 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927064.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927065 | [S1] me to, uh, create an Excel spreadsheet for you. [S2] Yeah. I am a spreadsheet disaster. [S1] Yes, disa- I'm a spreadsheet disaster. You wanna see roadkill on a page. [S2] Mm-hmm. Yes. [S1] Ask me to put something in Excel. [S2] Yes. [S1] You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna, uh, hand it over to Sawyer on our team... | 21.36 | 3.362732 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927065.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927066 | [S1] ... presentation. [S2] And in the meanwhile, I'm going to make us a lot of likes and views in my interview later today. [S1] Correct. I love that. I love that. [S2] Exactly. [S1] That is masterful. [S2] And here's the thing. So if your entire focus is more A work, less B, C, and D work, every day, every month, in ... | 28.24 | 3.250872 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927066.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927067 | [S1] Do you want to be able to share your words with people, or do you love writing? Because those are two different things. [S2] That's true. [S1] So for every project, you should do all the tasks, and then how much of those tasks are A, B, C, or D work? Sometimes you have to do D work. Sometimes you have to do C work... | 26.32 | 3.262105 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927067.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927068 | [S1] Say, "Okay, everyone, we're ordering our favorite lunch. We're pumping some music. It's a D-Work day. We hate it. Sleep in. We're coming in at 10 a.m., and then we're gonna grind it out. We're gonna do our D-Work together." When D-Work is acknowledged- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... for yourself, as well as your team, it h... | 28.8 | 3.328175 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927068.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927069 | [S1] also all immediately saw is it's like getting everybody, "All right, guys, let's all clean up after dinner together." [S2] Same. [S1] Nobody wants to do it, let's do it together. [S2] But we love eating dinner. [S1] Yes. [S2] So we gotta clean it up. [S1] Yes. [S2] And let's turn on music and make it as fast and f... | 17.32 | 3.411186 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927069.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927070 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] How would you recommend if you want to be really effective- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... and level up your success, that you go about even thinking about your goals for the day or the week or the year or the decade? [S1] Mm-hmm. ABCD work, to break a goal into tasks and timeline is very important. I also thi... | 24.12 | 3.377754 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927070.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927071 | [S1] ... because then if you achieve the goal, fantastic. [S2] Right. [S1] But your goal is actually happy in the moment of actually doing it. So I would say when you're setting goals, what can you do to enjoy the means of that goal so you're not delaying your happiness? [S2] How important is it for a high achiever to ... | 18.28 | 3.293882 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927071.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927072 | [S1] So what is your final word to the person that has been listening and hanging on to your every word? [S2] Mm. [S1] [CLEARS THROAT] [S2] What I haven't said is, | 11.68 | 3.478242 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927072.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927073 | [S1] I love that. And I also love the piece about figuring out who in your life you're giving time to that you're ambivalent about. [S2] Yes. [S1] And take that time back for yourself. [S2] Take it back. [S1] Vanessa Van Edwards, holy smokes. I like you. [S2] I like you. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Fuck you. [S1] I like you. [S... | 20.36 | 3.331964 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927073.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927074 | [S1] And, uh, I like you too. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I, I more than like you. I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to take absolutely everything you just learned- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and take up space and use these strategies- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1]... | 29.8 | 3.224124 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p166_m4-dialogue_0927074.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270806 | [S1] Oh, and you know what other detail I loved? [S2] What? [S1] You had on, like, New Balance geriatric sneakers, and you- [S2] Oh, yeah, that- | 8.32 | 3.225155 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270806.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270807 | [S1] ... ideas that can be super out there and wild. For example, like the anything but closed dinner, which I really wish honestly didn't happen after Dad walked down in a, like, pedal something over his junk and nothing else. But- [S2] He had clogs on. [S1] Oh, perfect. Um, but, | 22.28 | 3.129736 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270807.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270808 | [S1] building thing, a reef- [S2] Mm-hmm. Yep. [S1] ... thing, class, something like that. [S2] Yep. [S1] Um, I mean, the obvious dance party, we've done lip-syncing battles. I feel like it would get a little, I feel like people would be offended if we did the theme, "Everyone dresses the other person." So I think avoi... | 29.32 | 3.240234 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270808.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270809 | [S1] Yeah, that would be really fun, actually. That's a great idea. See? Look at you. [S2] Um- [S1] Go ahead. [S2] Yeah. I don't know. I think, well, Capture the Flag is a great idea. Like games, et cetera. I think that always brings people together. Um, and I think that where | 21.8 | 3.220907 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270809.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270810 | [S1] What about a karaoke machine? We could rent one. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That's a no. Okay. I feel like no enthusiasm there. [S2] That, that's what, I mean, I think karaoke's fun when everyone's a bad singer, but I can see that turning into Kendall just taking over. [S1] Oh, yeah. | 18.24 | 3.420634 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270810.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270811 | [S1] A lot of our family likes to drink, as, as many other people in this world. Like, we could do like a, like a cocktail making contest or something. [S2] Oh. [S1] Where everyone brings their own fixings and makes like a unique drink. And we could do, like, everyone could make their own drink. So, like, I could make ... | 29.08 | 3.5399 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270811.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270812 | [S1] I don't, I don't know. Like, I feel like having little presents or little, oh, another thing that we used to do is we would have the poppers. [S2] Oh, yeah, I love poppers. [S1] Uh, that you pull, like, everyone holds them crisscross, and you pull those. Those are always fun. Having, like, crowns or... [S2] Ooh, I... | 27.56 | 3.472422 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270812.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270813 | [S1] ... to wear. [S2] That would be fun. [S1] Or you're gonna sign the crown to make for somebody else to wear at the table. I like that. [S2] Oh, I like that too. [S1] Let's do that. [S2] Yeah, that's a great idea. [S1] You pull out | 10.56 | 3.472997 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270813.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270814 | [S1] ... idea. [S2] You pull a name out of the hat and you got to make somebody a crown to wear at Thanksgiving dinner. [S1] Yeah. [S2] I love that. Okay, that's done. Um, I, what about a question? I was recently at a dinner party and Maxine, who was hosting the party with her husband Andrew, asked a table of 10 people... | 22.16 | 3.571459 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270814.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270815 | [S1] Oh, yeah. The first day is always, "Oh, it's so great to see you. What have you been up to?" And then the second day turns into either boring or, "I hate you all." [S2] Uh-oh. [S1] No. [laughs] No, I don't know. I just think it's always really hard to come back for the holidays with the family and it's exciting at... | 26.44 | 3.209058 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270815.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270816 | [S1] A bunch of, um, Christmas leaves out of all, like, our plants outside, our trees, et cetera. But we've already cut all of the leaves of the plants so that it's all ready to go instead of just waking up and having nothing to do. And then that results to, okay, we're gonna watch eight Harry Potters and drink an enti... | 28.44 | 3.175828 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270816.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270817 | [S1] Got it. Okay. So can I ask you to take on the crown project? [S2] Yes. [S1] Thank you. Um, the final thing we didn't talk about is music. I think having playlists ready is critical. [S2] Yes, absolutely. | 19.16 | 3.436183 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270817.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270818 | [S1] ... a, or even like, I think just having people talk to different people and whether that means every 15 minutes you get up and you move seats at the Thanksgiving dinner, so you're sitting next to someone else and you're not talking about someone's college experience for two hours straight. And instead you get to ... | 29.8 | 3.346007 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270818.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270819 | [S1] Maybe just not forcing, but sort of forcing people to sit next to different people so they can have different conversations, feel more comfortable with different people, something along the lines of that. [S2] I love that. Great suggestion. [S1] Awesome. That's the first. [S2] Yeah, no. Are you kidding? [S1] [LAUG... | 28.2 | 3.493533 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270819.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270820 | [S1] Yeah. One more question. [S2] People being on their phone. [S1] Yeah. Uh, what do we do about the phone situation? | 6.44 | 3.335147 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270820.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270821 | [S1] I feel like the adults, but, um, I don't know. I don't want to call out anyone in particular in our family, but in general, I feel like adults who, "Oh, I want to take pictures," or, "Oh, I have a work call," or, "I'm Mel Robbins," or- [S2] Oh, so you think I'm going to have the hardest time with it? [S1] I mean, ... | 27.2 | 3.175433 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270821.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270822 | [S1] Awesome. It's like the sign we used to have in our old Vermont house, "The kitchen is closed." [S2] That's right. [S1] And we would all creep into the pantry when you guys weren't looking. [S2] Okay. Sawyer? | 15.64 | 3.254353 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270822.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270823 | [S1] I can't wait to see you over Thanksgiving weekend. [S2] I can't wait to see you too, Mom. [S1] I will call you. You are my, I'm, I'll be your co-pilot as our chief fun officer, okay? [S2] Yeah. We need to get all five of us on board. [S1] Okay. We'll, we'll have a Zoom meeting. We'll get the five nuclear family on... | 29.88 | 3.41041 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p16_m4-dialogue_0270823.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303317 | [S1] This is really like your debut on the podcast. [S2] Feels great. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Glad to be here. [S1] I want to talk to you about the topic of self-love because the majority of people struggle with accepting, liking, and loving themselves. [S2] Right. [S1] And you are 17 years old and you seem to have had a pr... | 24.4 | 3.248616 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303317.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303319 | [S1] a very honest conversation about self-hatred and self-love between a 17-year-old boy and his mom. All right. Let's jump into it. This is really like your debut on the podcast. [S2] Feels great. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Glad to be here. [S1] Okay. I'm glad you're here, too. [S2] Thanks for having me. | 23.88 | 3.311195 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303319.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303320 | [S1] You're welcome. So I want to talk to you about the topic of self-love because the majority of people struggle with accepting, liking, and loving themselves. [S2] Right. [S1] And you are 17 years old and you seem to have had a profound breakthrough, truly, authentically liking and loving yourself. [S2] Mm. [S1] And... | 27.96 | 3.405209 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303320.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303321 | [S1] Okay. [S2] So- [S1] Maybe you should give everybody a little background of Oakley before he loved himself. [S2] I will. [S1] Okay. [S2] So, to give context, uh, 13, I feel like you start to become very self-conscious, like 11, and so on. Like 11, like 13 is when it really, like 11 to 13 is when it starts. [S1] Yep... | 26.6 | 3.282476 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303321.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303322 | [S1] 'Cause I really wanted to just do that. I woke up one day and I was like, "I want that. I want that." And then like a few months later, I was like, "Oh my God, I don't want this." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And I couldn't do anything about it because my whole head was literally a different color. So I think that's when I ... | 26.4 | 3.128282 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303322.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303323 | [S1] ... Chubby cheeks, double chin, man boobs, moobs. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Get out of the shower and be like, "Ugh, no." And I was 13, like, I was so young. [S2] You told me a story once about- [S1] Yeah, the, the jeans. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Yeah, so, seventh grade Oakley, bleached hair, no eyebrows. I didn't have eyebrows. ... | 24.72 | 3.367175 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303323.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303324 | [S1] They were there. [S2] They had a grown hair. They had a, like- [S1] But they were really, really blonde. [S2] They were very blonde. So it looked like I had no eyebrows, I had blonde hair. Um, and my, for one day I wore skinny jeans and I just, like, liked how they felt. Like, I liked the look of skinny jeans on m... | 29.48 | 3.239001 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303324.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303325 | [S1] Fuck, yeah, like winter's over. [S2] Yes. [S1] And so I'm like, fuck, yeah, like winter's over. Like, let me throw on a pair of shorts. And I go to school. I'm so excited. And the fir- like, nobody even says good morning. The first thing everybody says is, "Your legs look so weird." And I was like, | 15.44 | 3.361105 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303325.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303326 | [S1] Like, what? Like, this is the first time I'm ever not wearing, like, jeans, and everybody's making fun of my legs. And I'm like, "Oh, my God." So for the rest of the year, I wore jeans, even in, like, 70 and 80 degree weather, because I was so worried about people being like, "Your legs look weird." [S2] That's so... | 24.32 | 3.35047 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303326.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303327 | [S1] What was it like that day at school with shorts on, having had somebody- [S2] It was, it was like- [S1] ... say publicly. [S2] No, it was, it was- | 8.08 | 2.935655 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303327.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303328 | [S1] ... say publicly. [S2] No, it was, it was more than one person. More than, multiple people said my legs looked weird. It was like, I just wanted to find a pair of jeans. I wanted to find a pair of pants anywhere. I would have fucking taken anything. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] I would have worn, I would have worn leggings.... | 29.92 | 3.339831 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303328.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303329 | [S1] My legs do look weird. [S2] Mm. [S1] And like, it's not even because they were like, hanging on me. It was just like, they've never seen my legs before. But anyways. So, very self-conscious, very like, "Ooh," continued into eighth grade. Um, and then- [S2] What happened? 'Cause this sounds terrible. [S1] What chan... | 20.6 | 3.323144 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303329.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303330 | [S1] Because I think we can all relate to this, where you look in the mirror and you focus on what you don't like. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You have an experience of just wanting the attention to be off you or wanting people to accept you or wanting to fit in. Every single one of us can relate to that gene story, Oakley. | 19.48 | 3.279282 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303330.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303331 | [S1] And it's those tiny moments that happen over and over and over again where we turn against ourselves and we become obsessed with making other people not pick on us or like us or fitting in. That's where we lose that connection to self. Like, 'cause when you turn against yourself, it's literally an act of self-hatr... | 28.72 | 3.494568 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303331.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303332 | [S1] ... your relationship with him. [S2] It was very, like, I'd say it was, like, 70/30. Like myself, 30%, didn't like myself 70%. [S1] Okay. [S2] Uh, but eighth grade, you know, I'm older, I look a little bit older. It was a good year. I, I'd say it was a good year. Like, I kinda, like, wore shorts, thankfully. Um, I... | 29.96 | 3.331878 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303332.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303333 | [S1] Okay. This is- [S2] But anyways. [S1] ... fascinating. 'Cause I never thought you had man boobs. [S2] I did. I'd get out of the shower and I'd, like, take a step and I'd, like, see them, like, go over there. [S1] They'd jiggle? [S2] I'd be like, "No, dude! No!" Put my towel on around my, like, upper half, like a g... | 27.4 | 3.108789 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303333.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303334 | [S1] Yeah. And so what happened is 2020, COVID-19, big, like, lockdown, everybody's screaming and scared and- [S2] Shut up. They weren't- How are you stopped? [S1] We are- | 11.92 | 3.425582 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303334.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303335 | [S1] We are all in the shit show. Except for me. It was a time of recreational activities, no one making fun of me, and nothing to do ever. Now, I'm not gonna like, be like, "Oh, like people had it so easy during COVID-19." Like, no, it was fucking horrible for so many people. But for me, as a 14-year-old boy, it was t... | 25.64 | 3.468136 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303335.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303336 | [S1] I'd play games all day, I'd jump on the trampoline, I'd hang out with my dogs, I would eat whatever the hell I wanted. It was fantastic. [S2] [LAUGHS] Oh, my. [S1] And I noticed that I'd stopped looking in the mirror and being like, "I don't look a certain way," or, "I, I'm worried that this way that I look right ... | 29.12 | 2.86324 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303336.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303337 | [S1] And what I came to realize is that when I worry about what other people think of me, it like drags me the hell down. [S2] Mm. [S1] And when I didn't think about other people or I didn't think about what they were thinking about me, I wasn't like, "Yeah, like I bet they look so stupid right now," or, "I bet their h... | 26 | 3.322125 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303337.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303338 | [S1] You only go through life with yourself. You are the only person that you wake up with and you go to sleep with every single night and every single day, and you are the only person that you need to please. You are not going to live your whole life with the ability to please everyone else because that's not going to... | 29.6 | 3.359414 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303338.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303339 | [S1] pointed at managing this, and it's all energy that is based on the belief that there's something wrong with you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That when that got removed and you were just quarantining with me and Dad and your two older sisters, you had this epiphany where you're like, "Well- [S2] There's nothing wrong with me." | 23 | 3.422787 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303339.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303340 | [S1] are frustrated and find themselves confused by the advice, love yourself. So what, what does that mean? And give specific examples of what you do. [S2] It is an incredibly broad term. [S1] Yes. [S2] Just love yourself. So easy to say. But I personally think that loving yourself is different for everybody. Everybod... | 24.44 | 3.399692 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303340.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303341 | [S1] I feel like there's always little things. There's always little things about yourself that you can find that you like. [S2] Okay. So number one, find something little. [S1] You know, it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be big. It could be less. [S2] Okay, so give us, give us three examples of little thin... | 14.08 | 3.225361 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303341.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303342 | [S1] Right now. [S2] Yes. [S1] I'm not, I haven't looked at a mirror recently, but I think I like my hair right now. [S2] Okay. [S1] Pretty sure I like my hair right now. [S2] Okay. [S1] I'll check the footer later. Um, let's see here. I'm liking my smile right now. I really like my smile. Um, and I'm also liking, I'm ... | 27.64 | 3.180454 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303342.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303343 | [S1] It's kind of like how I'm acting with my friends and how I'm treating them and how I'm like respecting them and being there for them. I, I'm, I'm enjoying that. I'm liking that about myself. [S2] You're proud of yourself. [S1] I am proud of myself. [S2] Can you give another example that is not about something phys... | 24.32 | 3.292122 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303343.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303344 | [S1] See, it's like those little things. Like, when people are, like, negative, they th- it's also so, so more broad when they, when they're negative about themself. And it's like a bigger thing, like, "Oh, I don't like the way my stomach looks," or, "I don't like the way I look." [S2] Or, "I don't like my grades," or,... | 27.72 | 3.276963 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303344.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303345 | [S1] God. No, it just has to be like very little. [S2] Yeah, start with, I love my, the, the shape or the color of my eyes. [S1] Yeah. [S2] I love the sound of my laugh. Find something small. And I'm focusing on simple and small habits because this is not something that happens overnight. | 22 | 3.411328 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303345.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303346 | [S1] Actually, I have another thing I want to say. [S2] Tell me. [S1] Guys, compliment each other. [S2] Oh, great idea. [S1] Like, bring up positive things about your friends. Like, if you don't want to draw attention to yourself and you want to draw attention to each other, instead of being like, "Your hair looks weir... | 22.72 | 3.348894 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303346.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303347 | [S1] Yes, you can. And it makes you feel good. And one of the things that I learned later as a parent, that I now do a great job at, is I don't just compliment how you look. I compliment- [S2] A specific part of how I look. [S1] That's not what I was gonna say. [S2] Oh, what the fuck were you gonna say? [S1] I was gonn... | 20.32 | 3.487974 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303347.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303348 | [S1] You try really hard. [S2] Yeah. I think- [S1] I love that you, I love, you know what I love most about you? [S2] What? [S1] Other than your, like, amazing- [S2] Aura. [S1] Yep. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Your aura is great. I love your aura. I would say it's purple. [S2] It's like purple-y green. [S1] Yes. [S2] [LAUGHS] [... | 27.72 | 3.272082 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303348.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303349 | [S1] and how you live by them. [S2] Mm. [S1] I admire that in you. [S2] Thank you, Mom. Thank you. [S1] You're welcome. [S2] It is important to compliment person- I think personality is like even bigger than looks. I feel like when I get compliments on like how I act, I feel like so much better when I get like a compli... | 27.52 | 3.390938 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303349.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303350 | [S1] And I believe in your ability to learn how to love yourself, to be kinder to yourself, to cheer yourself forward. [S2] And we're rooting for you all the way. [S1] That's why we're here. And we'll see you in a few days. [S2] Yes, we will. [S1] Dude, I love you. | 14.6 | 3.059135 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p17_m4-dialogue_0303350.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581327 | [S1] Well, welcome. I'm so psyched you're here. [S2] I'm so happy to be here, I can't even tell you. [S1] Well, let's just jump right into it because you have written the book on both charisma and body language. And so I want to start with what is charisma and why does it matter? | 18.08 | 3.424792 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581327.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581328 | [S1] That's crazy. And you, you say that you were very awkward before you leveraged all the cues you're about to teach us. Will you tell us a little bit about what you struggled with? [S2] So what's funny about charisma, I've always been fascinated by this trait. I'm a recovering, awkward person. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] So ... | 25.04 | 3.419862 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581328.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581329 | [S1] Wow. Okay. So let me see if I just can bottom line this. [S2] Yes. [S1] So charisma, if you have charisma or you display charisma, I guess is what I should say. [S2] Yes. [S1] If you display charisma, other people are left with the impression that they can trust you and that they can count on you. | 22.24 | 3.383789 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581329.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581330 | [S1] Wow. That's so, so is this why charisma matters? [S2] So I think of charisma like a lubricant, right? So when we're in social- [S1] That's sexy. [S2] [LAUGHS] A social lubricant. [S1] That is not exactly the word I was, that I thought, or the metaphor I thought you were gonna use. Okay, so charisma- [S2] Good. It ... | 24.28 | 3.288599 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581330.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581331 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] Okay. [S1] It's smooth. You know, it makes it smooth. Because, listen, my interactions, my social interactions before I learned this science were like the opposite of smooth. They were crunchy. Like, not in a good way. Right? Like- [S2] Okay, so you said you were awkward. Give us an example. Come on, Va... | 21.56 | 3.441845 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581331.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581332 | [S1] ... and it also makes it, it, it, you, when you use the word crunchy about those moments when you feel awkward, that makes a lot of sense to me. [S2] Yeah. Yeah. [S1] Because whether you're an over-talker, over-share, nervous laugh, interrupting people because you're extroverted but you feel afraid of how people a... | 26.24 | 3.426204 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581332.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581333 | [S1] That crunchiness is that sort of disruption you feel internally. And so I love this idea that charisma, which you say is a skill that anybody can develop. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That charisma helps you be yourself, and it helps you be more influential, and it helps you enjoy social settings, whether you're introverted ... | 29.72 | 3.411826 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581333.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581334 | [S1] It's like a meta meta, right? Like I worry that I'm a warrior and that that makes me worry. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Yeah. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So, right. So like, it's like a horrible meta. So what I say is, okay, I like confidence, but let's put it to the side for a second. Let's talk about being purposeful. Purposeful i... | 23.76 | 3.187089 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581334.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581335 | [S1] It's just like a thermostat. So in some situations, when you want to dial up a little bit extra warmth, you can use more warmth cues. And Oprah does this exceptionally well. In her hard-hitting interviews, she'll dial up competence. She'll hit them with the hard questions. [S2] Right. [S1] Go watch her interview w... | 25 | 3.150441 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581335.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581336 | [S1] I, am I? [S2] No, zero warmth. [S1] Zero warmth. [S2] Zero jobs. [S1] Oh, like, oh, I don't know. [S2] What a, the guy's a jerk. [S1] Zero warmth. So he is the perfect example of high, high, high competence. He has, he's constantly signaling, "Take me seriously. I'm powerful." And most importantly, what highly sma... | 24.44 | 3.297072 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581336.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581337 | [S1] So that's- [S2] Wow. Okay. [S1] ... competence. That's one bucket. And by the way, so if you're, as you're listening, I want you to think about what sounds like you, what feels like you. So do you feel like you have the balance? Do you feel like, no, you're off the charts in competence. You know you're high in com... | 16.72 | 3.45932 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581337.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581339 | [S1] [laughs] Or, no, I don't know how to do that, 'cause they're fixers. [S2] Got it. [S1] So, highly competent people, you have that super strength of, of getting it right, being fixers. Warm folks, my warm folks. So my highly warm folks, you are filled with empathy, your cheerleaders, your supporters, your mission. ... | 21.56 | 3.400877 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581339.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581340 | [S1] They want everyone to feel good. They want everyone to feel comfortable. Typically, highly warm folks, their super strength is empathy, nurturing, making people feel loved and warm. But they often give too much of themselves in sacrifice of being liked. [S2] Got it. So like people-pleasing door mats is what you're... | 26.4 | 3.474654 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581340.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581341 | [S1] need to be liked. [S2] Yes. Yes. Your need to be right is getting in the way of your need to be liked. That even rhymes. That's amazing. [S1] I didn't even do that on purpose. [S2] I want to go back to something in the very beginning that we were talking about. [S1] Yes. [S2] So, when I asked you what is charisma-... | 28.76 | 3.234758 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581341.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581342 | [S1] ... that charisma is something that you display to other people, correct? [S2] Yes. [S1] And charisma matters because if you have charisma, people trust you, they like you, they count on you, which I would think means it makes you in, more influential, it makes you more successful, it makes you have greater influe... | 29.48 | 3.423405 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581342.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581343 | [S1] influence, impact, and income. So the reason we- [S2] Whoa, wait. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Hold on. Hold on. So charisma- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... impacts the three I's. [S1] The three I's. All three of them. Why? If you are warm and competent, you are less likely to be underestimated. You're less likely to be dismissed and dou... | 25.32 | 3.391913 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581343.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581344 | [S1] More warm and competent. And so non-verbal signals, vocal signals, verbal signals, we are constantly aware of because we want to catch them. So the reason why we're drawn to people who are the in- that influence piece, that influencer impact piece, is because we are influenced by people who we want to be contagiou... | 26.8 | 3.42571 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581344.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581345 | [S1] The most important part of this experiment, though, is the moment that someone labeled the fear. So in their head or out loud said, "Fear." It deactivated their amygdala. [S2] Hm. [S1] In other words, being aware of the cues that are being sent to us, both negative and positive, makes us aware of who is infecting ... | 29.96 | 3.130072 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581345.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581346 | [S1] ... about your research. What I love is that, first of all, you're about to teach us all how to become more charismatic. [S2] Oh, yeah. [S1] You're also about to give us hacks related to body language and getting intentional about what we're displaying and signaling. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But what I also love about your... | 26.6 | 3.48588 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581346.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581347 | [S1] ... these strategies are going to work for all of us. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] One thing I would love for you to talk about before we talk about the cues is this. So in that study that you cited from Princeton- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... they also found that | 16.28 | 3.448597 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581347.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581348 | [S1] Wow. And it mirrors what I believe, Vanessa. You want to hear what I believe, Vanessa? [S2] Yes. [S1] I believe we all have a huge blind spot when it comes to what we're signaling other people. That you may think you know how you come across and what you're displaying, but I have a feeling that we are about to lea... | 28 | 3.4693 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581348.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581349 | [S1] Vanessa. [S2] Okay. All right. So first, we're gonna, the first kind of diagnostic that I talked about was just which one sounds more like you. That's where we start, right? So where do you think you fall? Are you higher in warmth, higher in competence, do you have a balance, or are you under-signaling, right? Do ... | 29.96 | 3.442565 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581349.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581350 | [S1] ... to be very simple questions- [S2] Does that mean a test? [S1] Yes, it's a test. [S2] Okay. [S1] Really simple test, sciencepeople.com/charisma. [S2] Wait, hold on. What's a co- what, what is, what is the URL? [S1] Science of people.com/charisma. [S2] Science of people.com/charisma. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Wait, is tha... | 27 | 3.51585 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581350.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581351 | [S1] As many times as you want. And so first, I want you to take it as you. I want you to take it as you, and I want you to take it not on your ideal self, your real self. [S2] Okay. [S1] Okay? So on a, on a normal day, I want you to screenshot your results. Then what I want you to do is I want you to do a 360 review. ... | 26.24 | 3.183862 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581351.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581352 | [S1] It's horrible. I'm not going to lie. It is horrible. And not only do I want you to record a Zoom call, I want you to record a Zoom call that you worked hard on. Presentation, an important client meeting, a call, and then I want you to code it. So when we talk about- [S2] What does code it mean? [S1] Okay. So when ... | 23.24 | 3.393194 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581352.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581353 | [S1] I, I feel like everybody needs to grab a pen and a piece of paper. And this is definitely one of those podcast episodes that I know every single parent is going to be forwarding to their kids who have interviews. [S2] Yes. [S1] Because we are about to get the cheat sheet, everybody, for how to nail charisma | 22.84 | 3.487793 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581353.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581354 | [S1] Whether you're in a virtual meeting, whether you're in an interview, whether you're sending an email. And so let's go through the cues. [S2] All right. [S1] What is the easiest way to walk through these? [S2] All right, well- [S1] Do you wanna go by warmth? Do you wanna go by, like, do you wanna go, like, how do y... | 17.96 | 3.272977 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581354.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581355 | [S1] Yeah, so let's do it by time. So what I want to do is actually want to do the first 10 seconds of your, your video, the first minute of your video, that actually helps us break it down. 'Cause actually the first 10 seconds are really important, the first 10 seconds of you being on camera. [S2] Really? [S1] So, yea... | 25.64 | 3.317456 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581355.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581356 | [S1] Wow. [S2] That's a relief. [S1] So what do we have to do? What are we doing? So, so, so you're about to tell us in the first ten seconds of a Zoom meeting, you must do this in order to be influential. What do you do? | 13.76 | 3.333521 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581356.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581357 | [S1] Right. So this still remains. Something interesting happens. I'll do a little experiment for you. So if you're watching the video, um, I'm gonna hide my hands. If you're listening, I'm hiding my hands right now. [S2] Yeah. [S1] The moment you can't see someone's hands. So if I were to give this entire interview wi... | 22.92 | 3.442736 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581357.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581358 | [S1] What, what is she holding? What, what's her intention? And so, the longer I keep my hands behind my back, the more distracted you should become with the fact that my hands are behind my back. You, you want them to come back out, right? [S2] Yes. [S1] Okay, they're back, right? [S2] Okay. There they are. Hello. [S1... | 24.64 | 3.108465 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581358.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581359 | [S1] ... to see you. [S2] Okay. Okay. So the first ten seconds we turn on, the camera's coming on, we put the hands up. Hi, everybody. [S1] Or just one, right? Like a little wave, nice to see you. You're, you walk into a crowded restaurant to see your date. Hey, good to see you. That hand gesture immediately deactivate... | 27.84 | 3.331338 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581359.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581360 | [S1] The reason for this is 'cause imagine if I were to give, now I'm gonna get really close to the camera. Imagine if I were to give my entire interview really close, you'd be like, "Vanessa, back up. Back up." Right? [S2] Oh my God. I totally, like, lean into the camera. I, I, I, I have no space above my head. I like... | 24 | 3.381299 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581360.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581361 | [S1] Okay. [S2] So, there are no bad cues in the sense of they're all purposeful. When you are really clo- and I, I love your videos. I've seen your close-up videos. You should know, on purpose, if you are very close to the camera, right up in your face, you are signaling intimacy. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] You are signaling, ... | 29.28 | 3.511299 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581361.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581362 | [S1] ... zero to a foot and a half away for people we feel really close with. So our partners, our parents, sometimes our best friends. And so actually, when I watch your videos where you're really close, I feel like we're besties. [S2] Mm. [S1] Now, tell me. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Tell me everything. So I would say reserv... | 28.4 | 3.362154 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581362.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581363 | [S1] So smart. Okay, so the first ten, the first ten seconds, everybody. We got the hands up, and we got to be about a foot and a half away. [S2] Yep. [S1] Because this is, oh, and there's more? [S2] Oh, there's more. [S1] Okay. [S2] There's still a lot. Okay, second, vocal. So that was a non-verbal cue. I want you to ... | 28.72 | 3.404945 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581363.mp3 | [
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