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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581364
[S1] They asked participants to then rate these doctors on warmth and competence. [S2] Based on the warbled thing that you just did? [S1] Yes. So imagine that I just did that and then I asked you, "Do you like this person? Is this person smart?" So participants rated these gobbledygook clips on, "Do they like this pers...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581365
[S1] Hi, my name is Dr. Edwards. I specialize in oncology, and I work at Children's Presbyterian Hospital. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? What it did is it changes the way that we listen. They found that when we hear the question inflection accidentally used on a statement, our prefrontal cortex shifts from listening to scr...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581366
[S1] We hear this all the time in sales calls, where someone is killing it in a pitch. This is what, this is the income, the, the last I. Or in a salary negotiation, I'd love to work for your company. I'd, I think I'd be a great fit for you. I love your mission, and I'm really looking for a salary range of over $100,00...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581367
[S1] ... $1,000? [S2] When you ask your price, you are begging people to negotiate with you. You're telling people, "I don't really believe this number," and you shouldn't believe it either. So what happens in the first 10 seconds is we're nervous, right? We're really nervous. We've been holding our breath, we're waiti...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581368
[S1] I just, this is why it's important to tape a Zoom call you're on, everybody. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Because now you have three research back.
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581369
[S1] incredibly subtle, but profound behavior changes that you need to make immediately. [S2] Immediately. [S1] Hands up. You gotta have the right distance, which is a foot to a foot and a half, nose to camera. No up-talk, everybody. And I, I would imagine that most people don't realize that they
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581370
[S1] And the up-talking everyone. [S2] Oh. [S1] Is when you're under signaling competence. [S2] Competence. [S1] You might be the most competent and, and qualified person, but if you walk into that interview and you don't, you know, not sure, like it, my last job was great. I think I'd do great here. I, you know, 100,0...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581371
[S1] You just shot yourself in the foot. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And you don't even realize it 'cause you don't hear it. I bet people do this with dating all the time.
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581372
[S1] Right? So that, I also want you to get really to the root cause of if you hear yourself do uptalk, and by the way, please go listen to your voicemail. So go listen to your voicemail or any voice recordings. If you've sent any voice recordings or voice memos in the past few days, go re-listen to them and see if you...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581373
[S1] Whoa. [S2] Oh, we were fine. [S1] So how do you coach somebody who has a style of speaking where they naturally end sentences with this up-talk? So it's almost like you've got a statement and, and as you speak it, it sounds like a question at the end. [S2] Yes. [S1] And do women do this more than men?
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[S1] So we also have to be aware of those gender differences. So yes, women typically more often use, uh, up-talk or high warmth. So luckily, this is actually a very easy thing to fix. [S2] Okay. [S1] So we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it with breath and pausing. So one of the things that can happen with up-talk is w...
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[S1] Hello. [S2] Hello. Yeah. Hi. It's very high. [S1] That's the highest end of your breath. If you hear your rain going up there, you are speaking too high. You hear yourself go there. What I want you to do is try to relax your vocal cords by speaking on the out-breath. [S2] Hello. [S1] So this time, there you go. Th...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581376
[S1] Hello. Those are both me, but they sound totally different. So this time what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a deep breath in on the count of three, and I want you to say hello on the out breath. I want you to say it in a downward effect. [S2] Okay. [S1] Okay, ready? One, two, three. [S2] Hello. [S1] Hello. [S...
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[S1] Yes. [S2] Really key. Okay, so hand gestures, there's two sides of hand gestures. One is visible, right? So we mentioned having a little, you know, wave, "Hello," greeting at the, at the top of a video call or in person. The next thing we look for in hand gestures is purpose. What highly competent people did, so w...
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[S1] ... tiny. [S2] And now I'm making that tiny little, like, my fingers are like a quarter inch apart. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] When she said it's a big idea and she showed me the hand signal for puny, Vanessa's dead right. My brain went right to the hand gesture and I was like, "Wait a minute, that doesn't match. Why the ...
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[S1] Five. Oh, that's weird. [S2] Oh, horrible. [S1] My brain literally went, "That's the wrong hand gesture, Mel." [S2] [LAUGHS] Your brain
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[S1] I love you. [S2] You're hilarious. [S1] We don't have to do that. But there is a difference of, you know, I'm so happy to be here. I want to talk about two different things in the meeting today. When someone holds up two and they say two, not only does it make you look competent and think, "Wow, it really is two,"...
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[S1] You become more memorable with more purposeful gestures. People believe your competence when your gestures and your words are congruent. A very easy one. [S2] What are mistakes- [S1] Mm. [S2] ... that ... Let's start with introverts. What are mistakes that introverts make- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... when it comes to bo...
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[S1] Fake smiling people and neutral people. By the way, just the science of this, a fake smile or a real smile reaches all the way up into these upper cheek muscles. So if you were to smile all the way up into your upper cheek muscles, they activate your crow's feet, right? That's a real smile. [S2] Got it. Yes. [S1] ...
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[S1] So a real smile you actually make with your eyes. [S2] Exactly. Exactly. [S1] Okay. [S2] Upper cheek muscles slash eyes. Exactly. So what happens is, what, what happened in this research experiment is she showed people pictures of real smiling people, and people caught the happiness. It actually affected their pos...
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[S1] ... queuing for real happiness actually makes you more contagious. Fake happiness makes you less memorable. Nothing happens. So the biggest mistake that will happen with introverts is they want to come across as warm and their only tool in their toolkit is smiling. Problem is there are, the good thing is there are...
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[S1] Wow. [S2] It's like a nonverbal dot, dot, dot. You're literally saying to someone, "Tell me more. I want to listen. I want to hear you." So, a slow triple nod. Oh, no, it's so good to see you. [S1] I think they teach that to therapists, don't they? [S2] Yes. [S1] I think they, they teach the therapist triple nod t...
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[S1] You are seen as warmer. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So if I tilt my head to the side, this is a universal response. If I want to hear something better, so if I say, "Mel, do you hear that?" We automatically tilt our head and expose our ear. That's a way that we want to hear better. And so when you are on a video call, on a...
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[S1] is fascinating. [S2] Easy. [S1] So we've got the triple nod, everybody. We've got smile with your eyes. We've got tilt your head slightly. What are other warm cues? [S2] Okay. So other warm cues, vocal. So let's talk about vocal. So those were three non-verbal cues. Vocal, remember, is the one that we often forget...
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[S1] Oh, I just did that. Ooh, I'm very warm. Mm. [S2] Yes. So actually, you have a very good balance, Mel, of warmth and competence. I was gonna say you when you asked for an example, but I was like, "That's way too brown-nosy," so I didn't. But you have, you have a very good warmth of competence because you will voca...
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[S1] Remember, my introverts, I want you, I want to teach you how to be heard without being loud. So non-verbal cues, vocalizations, that's a way for you to participate in conversation without saying a word. Right, so, "Mm." [S2] Oh, that's fantastic. [S1] Easy. [S2] All right, do that again. So, what, what are the, wh...
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[S1] ... they, we also produce this chemical, oxytocin. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Oxytocin is a very complicated chemical. It does a lot of things in our body, but for social purposes, oxytocin is the chemical of connection. When we are making eye contact, when we first meet someone or we hop on video, our bodies go, "Oh, we'r...
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[S1] The more oxytocin that's in our bodies when we're communicating, the more open we are, the more we say yes, the more we feel like, "I'm on the same page with this person." So eye contact is one of the fastest ways to get or gift oxytocin. Now, the amount of oxytocin is different. I do not believe, and I really wan...
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[S1] 'Cause if- [S2] No. [S1] For somebody with, I have ADHD and I've noticed every time I talk, every time I read anything about body language, you're lying if you look away. And I'm like, I have a hard time holding eye contact for a long period of time. And I know it has to do with the ADHD.
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[S1] 105. [S2] Okay. [S1] I looked up to do the math. [S2] Yeah, you looked up. [S1] I, and I, I never noticed it, but you're right. I, like, I looked up to go, like, I looked up at an imaginary chalkboard and imagined 10 times 10 plus five,
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[S1] I need to access this input and this information over here. So that's why it can be so confusing for people who are trying to make more eye contact. No. [S2] Right. [S1] I want you to make eye contact when you want to bond with someone. Absolutely. Especially in the first few seconds. But when you're processing or...
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[S1] You are more likely to believe my answer. [S2] Wow. [S1] Because I looked away to process it. [S2] That's fascinating. [S1] So, um, that's the first thing I want to bust about eye contact is do not feel pressure to make more eye contact. Competent people make purposeful eye contact. Competent people, they know tha...
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[S1] I just make sure I, I'm, so you're not saying, "Here's a tell when someone else is lying." You're saying, "What is the tell when you're lying?" [S2] That's it. [S1] Oh, why do I-
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[S1] ... need to know that. [S2] You need to know that because you need to know when you are accidentally signaling inauthenticity. 'Cause what can often happen is you should know your own lie and tell, 'cause hopefully you're not lying a lot. But oftentimes, people will do their lie and tell when they're not even lyin...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581399
[S1] You've got a disgust face, did you say that? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And now as I'm watching you, I'm like, you're lying. [S2] Totally. [S1] Because you're saying she's nice, but your face says disgust. [S2] Yeah. So that- [S1] So how do you, though, know your own tell? Because I'm sitting here trying to think.
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581400
[S1] No. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you the most fun. [S2] I don't know what it is. [S1] This is a fun Friday night. If you're willing to, to kind of do this with a couple of friends, it's really fun to do this. I highly recommend doing this with your partner. I, my, my partner and I know our each other's...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581401
[S1] Okay. Date night. [S2] Get ready. One, if you can film this also, it's helpful to re-watch it together. First. [S1] Oh, God. [S2] I want you to open up your camera or your phone. One, I want you to tell me what you had for breakfast yesterday.
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[S1] The reason for this is- [S2] I can't remember. [S1] ... is a recall test. You need to know what you look like when you're recalling truth. You will notice you'll probably look up to left, or look up to the right. [S2] Yeah, I looked to the left. [S1] Or touch your face. [S2] I kind of, I looked to the left and the...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581403
[S1] It's like I'm cranking the brain back up. [S2] Come on. [S1] I still can't remember what the hell I had for breakfast yesterday, even though I'm cranking the foot and I'm looking to the left, but okay. [S2] It's 'cause you're like, "What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it?" [S1] What is today? Yesterday...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581404
[S1] scrunching my face up right now. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I'm not sure I had breakfast yesterday. [S2] And that could be the answer. [S1] Yeah, I don't think I ate breakfast yesterday. [S2] So we just saw what Mel looks like when she is recalling truth. [S1] Okay. [S2] Okay? That's very important to know about someone beca...
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[S1] I like this game. [S2] I like this game. [S1] Yeah. [S2] So how do I know when I'm lying? [S1] It's coming. Okay. [S2] Okay, good. [S1] So the second question I won't give you the answer to camera. And by the way, what was it? [S2] What was, what did I have for breakfast? I don't think I ate anything. [S1] Okay, g...
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[S1] The more embarrassing the better. I'm going to deliver it right to camera. This is how you look when you're recalling something that makes you nervous. [S2] Oh. [S1] The biggest mistake that we make in lie detection is we confuse nervousness for guilt. [S2] Got it. [S1] They are different.
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[S1] Yeah. We, like, try to hold it in. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Uh, common nervous tells are, uh, um, touching the stomach, the face. It's often more like, "Oh, I'm nervous." [S2] Do people do this on Zoom calls too? You see them doing this? [S1] All the time. All the time. All the time. It's a great way to, I mean, I don't wa...
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[S1] It's helpful to know- [S2] Oh my God, I would hate to be on a team call with you. [S1] ... when I'm making someone nervous. [S2] [LAUGHS] What'd you say? [S1] It's helpful to know when I'm making a teammate nervous, right? Like I have a, a wonderful big team, and if I share, "Oh, we're having a big New Year's laun...
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[S1] Yes. So, uh, touching the hands, uh, touching the face, touching the stomach. That actually comes out of Cornell University. They actually found that when we're nervous, we touch our, um, stomach or we clench our stomach or we touch our face. Um, third is, uh, purposeless gestures. So, wringing the hands, cracking...
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[S1] So liars have, um, we have a very specific kind of tissue in our nose, and research has found that when we lie and we're in guilt, it, uh, swells and it causes our nose to itch. So Bill Clinton, during his Monica Lewinsky testimony, when he lied, he touched his nose 26 times. In his truthful testimony, he touched ...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p18_m4-dialogue_0581411
[S1] So cool. So how do I tell what my lying tell is? [S2] Okay, so the last question, so we did, what you had for breakfast, your most embarrassing story. The last one is the most important. I want you to make up an embarrassing story that did not happen to you and tell it to the camera and try to convince me it happe...
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[S1] So I wanted, I want to do some rapid fire questions. [S2] Okay. Let's do it. [S1] Okay. Um, so what are your top tips for displaying charisma and being more influential on a Zoom call? [S2] Okay. So on a Zoom call specifically,
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[S1] Handshake. They actually trigger a physiological response in the other person. So if you can use those warm words, it is a very easy way to trigger more warmth. [S2] That's fantastic. [S1] Easy. [S2] Okay. Terrific. What about emails? How do you display more influence, more charisma in an email? What is the prose?...
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[S1] Right? So it's a, it's when you just touch your fingers together and you make sort of like a church steeple. If you watch Shark Tank, Kevin O'Leary loves this gesture. [S2] Yes. [S1] Some people love it, some people hate it. If you love it, great. If you don't, discard it. So when I'm about to share a Q-wise, I wa...
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[S1] ... [S2] ... [S1] ... [S2] ... [S1] No problem. Actually, let me ask you this one. What are the danger zone cues on a virtual meeting? What you never do? [S2] Okay. Okay. So, great. Okay. So, danger zone cues in a virtual meeting. One, I always, always, always, always want you to front with the camera. So, researc...
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[S1] It would make it really hard for you to open up to me. And so a mistake that I often see on Zoom calls is people will either angle out or, the worst of the worst, they have their camera on their side and they're typing like this. [S2] Oh. [S1] So I will- [S2] Yes. I hate that. [S1] I hate, uh- [S2] I'm like, just ...
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[S1] Wow. [S2] ... their body is like, "We gotta go. We wanna go." So if I'm angled away from you, with my toes angled towards the exit, you're subconsciously picking up on the fact that part of me is left the conversation. [S1] You know what I'm realizing? That's stage one of me trying to get my husband Chris to leave...
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[S1] Like, let's go. And I do that physically without realizing it before I put my hand on my back and are like, "Let's go." [S2] Yeah. [S1] So, so interesting. Okay, so we know danger zone, you got to, you gotta face the camera, you gotta be pointed at the camera, toes at the camera. [S2] Yes. [S1] Otherwise you're si...
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[S1] If your resting face, my resting face looks like sadness. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So sadness is a universal micro-expression. So sadness is when our, the corners of our mouth turn down into an upside-down- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... U, and when our eyelids droop, and sometimes even our, our eyebrows pinch together. When I'm at...
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[S1] This is important for me to know, because if you look sad at rest, people are going to assume you're disappointed. You're low energy. How about anger? What if you have anger? So anger is a different look. I don't have this, but I know people who do. So people- [S2] I do. [S1] ... have, I, yeah. People have anger a...
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[S1] That way, verbally, you're overcoming that resting face. [S2] Yeah. So like the three head nod, the mm. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Yeah. Oh, wow. [S1] Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. [S2] Okay. See? I just got rid of the bitch face, and now I'm signaling more. [S1] There you did. There you did. Exactly. [S2] I'm, I'm taking the, the...
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[S1] Information. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Or update. Or next week's meeting. [S2] Delete. [S1] You are literally telling the others to go to sleep. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Go to sleep. [S2] So are you saying we can have fun in work emails? [S1] Yes. Now, fun, what I mean is use charisma verbal cues. So there is, this is art, not...
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[S1] ... an emotional response. [S2] Like what? [S1] Okay, so one study, this is a really interesting study. What they did is they wanted to know if achievement-oriented words could make people achieve more. So achievement-oriented words are words like win, success, master, achieve, comp- compete, race. Even me just sa...
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[S1] Okay. Very, very basic directions you've read a million times before. The second set of directions was the same word count. So not longer, not shorter, but they sprinkled in, they swapped in a couple of achievement-oriented words. So, uh, "Please perform well in this achievement test. The more answers you can win ...
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[S1] Okay, so for charisma, which impacts influence and income and, uh, interest or in whatever the heck they are, uh, impact. [S2] Impact. [S1] So for email, what words do we wanna use? Are we throwing in emojis and GIFs? Like, how does this work? Obviously not all caps and tons of explanation points, but- [S2] No.
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[S1] So the perfect email- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... has a balance of, "Let's connect. Let's collaborate. I can't wait for the mean next week, and let's blast through this agenda. I can't wait to hit our goals. We're gonna do everything together." Onwards, Vanessa.
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[S1] You know what I hear? Is I hear enthusiasm, I hear confidence in those words, you're displaying that, which then signals to me that I'm on a team that wants to do that. You wanna know one word I don't like in an email? [S2] Oh, tell me. [S1] I hate that trend that started a couple years ago, where people would gen...
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[S1] ... is like passive aggressive, not interested, phony pretending I give a shit. That's what best means to me. [S2] And it's socially scripted, right? Like- [S1] Yes. [S2] It doesn't even mean best. It doesn't even mean anything. A little experiment that we did in our newsletters is I was trying different sign-offs...
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[S1] Oh, thank you, Vanessa. [S2] It's like a gift. It's like success. I'm gifted. [S1] I love that. And you know what I just noticed? [S2] Hmm? [S1] I spoke at the end of my breath, so I was like, "Oh, thank you, Vanessa." Like I went up on that. And I don't know if that means that I was not being, uh- [S2] No, a piec...
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[S1] But it, but actually that was authentic because you were, it was, it was a compliment. It was appeasement. [S2] Yes. [S1] So you were encouraging liking, so you went really high because you loved it. [S2] I did. [S1] When we were around babies and puppies. [S2] Yes. [S1] We'd go really high like this because we re...
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[S1] And this works with toddlers, right? I have a toddler, four and a half, she's not even taller anymore. If I'm serious with my toddler, I go real low, right? I'm real low. I'm like, "Sienna, uh-uh, we are not doing that." And she hears it. So you also can use, when you're talking to your baby or your puppy or your ...
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[S1] ... [S2] ... [S1] ... [S2] ... [S1] ... [S2] ... [S1] Oh, do they ever. Oh, do they ever. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like, when Chris lowers his tone of voice, everything in this house stops when the three kids are here. So, another quick question. What are the body language cues that somebody that you're dating is into you?
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[S1] Right. We handshake. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That's because we can handshake someone really far away from our torso and our muscle parts of our body, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] So that's the least intimate. If you are not that into someone or you're not sure, you'll, you'll notice the hand touching. So not only handshake, but...
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[S1] And very intimate. And very intimate. [S2] Very intimate, that's right. [S1] And it activates those pheromones too. [S2] Um, let's talk disrespect. [S1] Oh, yes. [S2] How does somebody that is charismatic handle disrespect with warmth and confidence? [S1] Oof, so-
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[S1] First of all, you want to activate reciprocity. Remember that the more charismatic we are, the more contagious we are. So the very, very first step is what we've been talking about this entire time, which is you want to signal warmth and competence and hope they catch up. That's the very first thing, right? If you...
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[S1] That is actually what I don't want you to do. The moment that someone disrespects you, if you go on offensive, which is, "It's your fault. How dare you? I don't like you," you are immediately going to trigger more disrespect. [S2] Right. [S1] And I also don't want you to go on defensive. "It's not me. It's not my ...
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[S1] Amazing. One final question. [S2] Ooh. [S1] And this is a gift to my shy introverts out there. Okay? [S2] Got it. [S1] Can you give us five surprising, silent, charismatic cues- [S2] Mm. [S1] ... that will help someone command respect? [S2] Yes. So the most-
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[S1] In her low energy interviews, she doesn't try to convince them or change them. She matches, she dials down, she becomes less expressive. [S2] Yeah. [S1] She uses more calm hand gestures. So mirroring is one. [S2] Okay. [S1] The second one is an eyebrow raise. So an eyebrow raise is a universal gesture of, "I'm lis...
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[S1] with my eyebrows, it's a signal of interest, right? [S2] That's a little broken, all right. [S1] Yeah. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right. So that's a signal of interest. So introverts can do this instead of speaking. So if you're in a board room or in a Zoom meeting or on a date, and you want to encourage someone by saying...
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[S1] And he says he only puts things in his book that people raise their eyebrows at because it's such- [S2] That's cool. [S1] ... specific cute curiosity. So you can raise your eyebrows, you can also look for eyebrow raises. [S2] Okay. So that's number two. Number three. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Yeah, I noticed when you raised...
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[S1] respect. [S2] Am I allowed to do three and four, which is the head tilt and nodding? 'Cause those are so- [S1] Yeah, of course. They're so good. [S2] ... So warming. So, nodding and head-tilting, and then I wanna do a different one. I'm gonna say specifically, mirroring empathy.
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[S1] All the wisdom and knowledge you just dropped today, like a frickin bomb- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... on all of the things that we have been doing that we didn't realize that were lowering our influence, our impact, and the income that we're making. And so- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... I wanna take a minute on behalf of absolut...
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[S1] This was so smart and informative. And the other reason why I loved this conversation so much is because everything that you shared we can put to use immediately. [S2] Yes. [S1] And it tracks back to this research that 82% of how somebody
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[S1] Everything. And it happens quickly. So for example, if you get better sleep tonight- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... you might be better tomorrow. If you get drunk tonight, your mind's going to be worse tomorrow. And because those both have a direct impact on the physical functioning of your brain.
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[S1] And I worked with BJ Fogg for six months. He runs a persuasive tech lab at Stanford on how people change. And we develop tiny habits. You know, what's the smallest thing you can do today that will make the biggest difference? And the mother, tiny habit, is whenever you go to do something today- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ....
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[S1] Because you take incredible care of your brain, but is it just this concept that you just actually have to wake up and realize that th- what's in between your ears is the most important aspect of your health and wellness period? Is that what you're saying? [S2] Yes. [S1] And number two, you then said that there ar...
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[S1] ... or antidepressants. So as humans, you know, excrete, the medications they take into, you know, waste plants, that gets out into the ocean, and then the fish we eat are impacted by them in a negative way. [S2] Wow. [S1] So one reason I like high-quality fish oil, because it's purified, um, especially ours,
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[S1] I'm gonna sprint out of this interview. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And go get this, these, these supplements. I mean, I've been really, I'm, I'm sort of embarrassed because we've got a brain that I clearly envy here in Dr. Amen, and I feel like I am, um,
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[S1] Which is why it's so important to get sunshine and while, you know, as we go into the holidays, um, time change happens just at the wrong time, right? As we get less sunlight and it gets colder outside, we just, you know, then got a bomb dropped on us. Like all of a sudden you lose an hour- [S2] Oh. [S1] ... a day...
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[S1] What does that mean? Drip dopamine, don't dump it. [S2] So you want little, tiny piece, you know, little, tiny, um, bursts of dopamine, not a big splash. So, for example, cocaine. Big splash of dopamine and you go, "Whoa!" But the problem is you have none left and then you get depressed. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Which yo...
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[S1] So would an example of dripping dopamine include the two micro habits you talked about? One being waking up in the morning and saying, "I'm going to make it a great day. How am I going to do that?" And also at the end of the day going on that treasure hunt for what went right? [S2] Yes. [S1] Excellent. How can you...
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[S1] So is there any like certain times of day where your dopamine is higher or lower just naturally? [S2] In the morning. [S1] And is the same true with serotonin? [S2] In the evening. [S1] Okay. So to explain that to us, and then how we can use something natural to boost it.
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[S1] You bet. I think it's absolutely critical for men and for women. Your muscles are your protein reserve. So one of my young doctors went to Hawaii on vacation and got, um, this terrible infection that almost killed him. [S2] Oh, wow. [S1] And-
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[S1] But when it's high, because of chronic stress, um, chronic negativity, that it actually puts fat on your belly and shrinks your hippocampus, the major memory center in your brain, which is why when you go through grief, I went through grief about 17 years ago, and I just couldn't remember anybody's name. [S2] [LAU...
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[S1] ... is this. And, um, it's four seconds in. [S2] Okay. [S1] Hold it for a second and a half. Eight seconds out. Hold it for a second and a half. [S2] Will you walk us through it? [S1] So, four seconds in. Hold it. Eight seconds out.
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[S1] ... up and- [S2] No, he's a big white shepherd. [S1] Oh. [S2] And I got bit. He ended up in the ocean. Um, yeah, it was sort of a disaster. I still get triggered sometimes, which we should talk about a little bit because in my elite brain training program,
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[S1] And so this habit of questioning yourself is, and the thoughts that you're having is a superpower. And you can begin today, thanks to what Dr. Amen is telling you. What advice do you have for people who are chronically tired? Dr. Amen. [S2] Well, the first thing is get your thyroid checked. [S1] Get your thyroid c...
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[S1] Leafy greens, uh, for the fiber and the magnesium. But my favorite one is raw cacao, or, you know, the main ingredient in chocolate. Uh, I don't- [S2] Wow. [S1] ... say chocolate because chocolate's filled with sugar and berry and a lot of things that are really bad for you. But,
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[S1] And so I get raw cacao. So for each serving, you know, say the serving's like 12 ounces, a heaping teaspoon of raw cacao, unsweetened organic almond milk. Um, and you can do it with other nut milks, but I like almond milk. And there's a company called Sweet Leaf that makes liquid chocolate stevia. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1...
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[S1] Thinking of alcohol as a health food. It's not. It's toxic to your brain. Or marijuana is innocuous. It's not. It damages your brain. And, you know, it's these little lies in our society- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... that is really promoting the disease we are, um, just flooded with.
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[S1] ... that. [S2] I never believe every stupid thing I think. And I think that's really important to know, you know, I'm gonna get these crazy, stupid, awful thoughts, and I know how to manage and dismiss them. [S1] I would never say everything. [S2] I think. Some people come in, come to me and say, "Oh, Dr. Amen, I'...
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[S1] We so appreciate you. I love you. Thank you for spending the time with us, and I cannot wait to have you back when your new incredible, I'm sure 13th New York Times best-selling book comes out this March. Thanks, Dr. Amen. [S2] Thank you, my friend. What a joy. [S1] [LAUGHS] You're awesome.
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[S1] Audio productions for Audible, two self-published audio books and hardcover books, all of the courses that we have taught for folks like Starbucks, LinkedIn, Creative Live. The list goes on and on and on. And Tracy and I geek out on research. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] We absolutely love it, right, Trace? [S2] Yes, definit...
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