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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_m4-dialogue_0512771
[S1] Yeah. [S2] So it's like almost like a game of telephone. [S1] Yep. [S2] Where your nervous system is feeling something and sending through the parts of the brain that have no language a message. And the prefrontal cortex is interpreting it. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And it's interpreting it as unsafe danger. And you're sa...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_m4-dialogue_0512772
[S1] Now you can start, when you start finding the anxiety in the alarm in your body, now you're starting actually to get the root cause. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because in your head you will never solve it. You will always be caught in your head. You will never get out of your head. You always- [S2] We have a question- [S1]...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_m4-dialogue_0512773
[S1] So if you are born sensitive, which everybody I see with anxiety, everybody I've ever cons- consulted with, with anxiety, is a sensitive person. You are a sensitive person. [S2] How do you know if you're a sensitive person? [S1] 'Cause you have anxiety. [S2] Okay. [S1] No, it's, well, because you feel everything. ...
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[S1] Well, it's like learning to feed yourself for crying out loud. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like it's that basic. So how do you break this cycle of anxiety in a family?
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p56_m4-dialogue_0512775
[S1] How do we find the best time in your life? How do we start changing that pattern, that automatic pattern of negativity and irritability in you first, and then you're more available to your kids. And when you're more available to your kids, your kids don't feel so alarmed themselves, and you start healing that whol...
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[S1] And you help kids that have anxiety by addressing and healing the anxiety in the adults in that family. [S2] 99% of the time, yeah. [S1] So Dr. Kennedy, what are surprising signs of adult anxiety, particularly for that generation
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[S1] ... of our parents, who never talked about this. Prozac was not even invented yet. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That was not a generation of expressing feelings. So how, that was the see, uh, you know, be, be seen and not heard generation. It was, you know, shut up and pull up your big girl panties. [S2] I'll give you someth...
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[S1] Never even occurred to me that I had anxiety. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because maybe I didn't want to feel all that stuff. [S2] Exactly. [S1] Maybe I'm afraid to, to like go talk to a therapist and open that all up. Like we didn't talk about our feelings. And so it didn't occur to me until recently that, gosh, you know, ...
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[S1] for a couple of weeks, and you were called mean. And so I want to talk about what are the signs that may surprise you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That your parents have anxiety and you didn't even know it. So alcoholism was one, but what are the other signs? [S2] Irritability.
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[S1] ... You know, these things that, that show up in our parents because they didn't have a way of expressing it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] They didn't know, or, or they went to therapy. And a lot of people go to therapy and they, they, they've been in there for five years and they feel terrible because it's like, "I've been ...
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[S1] Somebody who is just so loving and kind with an animal. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And cold with other people.
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[S1] 'Cause they didn't trust their parents. Their parents didn't, didn't establish that people are safe. My dad didn't establish that he was safe. Even though my dad was really kind and loving and playful and great, uh, at many, many times. In fact, most of the time that I spent with him was good. But it's like when y...
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[S1] So it's really important. Again, our brains, we have a fear bias. We are evolutionarily programmed to focus on fear. And another thing that I got from one of your, your podcasts recently is, you know, and I said this a lot, is whatever you focus on, you get more of. So if you focus on your anxiety, you'll get more...
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[S1] What happens to me when I feel anxious? Where do I feel this anxiety? And can I train myself to go, "Oh, there's that pain in my chest again. There's that pressure in my solar plexus. There's that lump in my throat." That's a sign that I'm starting to go into alarm. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go into ...
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[S1] Can I ask you a question real quick? [S2] Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. [S1] Um, so I wanna go right to the moment- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... that the thoughts are spiraling. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And you realize you're trapped in this worst case loop. Should somebody do the psychological side to- [S2] Physiological side, exactly. ...
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[S1] use the five second rule, five, four, three, two, one- [S2] Absolutely. [S1] ... to just stop the cycle. [S2] That's another one. Yeah. [S1] Is there another one to stop that spinning of thoughts?
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[S1] Breathing is probably the most effective. [S2] Okay. [S1] You know, um, just being aware, first of all, because a lot of times what'll happen is because our frontal cortex gets, uh, impeded by survival physiology, we don't realize that we're in anxiety. We can sit in anxiety for hours and not realize that we're in...
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[S1] So you develop this awareness, okay, this is my alarm coming up. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That's your first thing. So at that point, five, four, three, two, one, get out of the house, put my shoes on, go to the house, go to the gym, go somewhere, do something. Like do something to break that cycle. Because if you don't b...
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[S1] And it's why we do that and then regret it. And the whole solution to all of this is this three-layered approach we've been talking about today, which is first you gotta become aware- [S2] Aware, yeah. [S1] ... that you have this alarm that it's getting triggered in your adult life and that there's shit that went ...
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[S1] ... that needs your attention and needs your healing, and it has everything to do with you learning how to make yourself feel connected and safe and taken care of. And then there is the coping with it, which are the bazillion strategies on TikTok, which, by the way, um, a lot of it is horseshit. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1]...
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[S1] ... temperature, feeling, you know, going through those extremes of temperature, cold, heat, whatever. Temperature is one of those ways that we can access the deeper structures in our brain too. Smell, you know, if you have an essential oil that you love, like lavender or chamomile or whatever, carry it with you i...
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[S1] Um, give me your top three recommendations for play that you give to your patients. [S2] Well, I, I often ask people, like, what did you do when you were a teenager? You know, some people say, I rode my bike, I played chess, I did this. So, things that you liked when you were a kid, chances are you'll still like n...
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[S1] You know, and Gordon Neufeld, who's my sort of mentor in developmental psychology, talks about that with kids. It's so important to have play just for play's sake. There is no winner, there is no loser, there's no, there's nothing there. And one of the things that I really recommend for parents is playing around t...
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[S1] So if you do that, each time that you have anxiety or alarm, you will start training your nervous system to focus on something that will heal you, instead of focusing on your thoughts, which are only going to make you worse. [S2] Amazing. [S1] So as Forrest Gump would say, "That's all I got to say about that."
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[S1] of bees. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because the trellis is covered with flowers. So he's climbing up this thing and he's getting stung, and then he gets on to the, the kind of porch on the second floor, and he goes up to the French doors in his parents' bedroom, and he goes to open them up, and they're locked.
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[S1] And I have this image of him, 'cause I, there's a particular image of him in this blue and white baseball uniform. He's probably in the fourth grade. He's got kinda long, blonde curls. And it's very useful to me to look at the man I've been married to for 26 years- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... in those moments where I ge...
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[S1] and visualize that kid in the baseball uniform just trying to do his best and feeling like nobody's there to support him. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That was really helpful. I think that's really gonna help me show up.
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[S1] You know, and I feel bad for Chris 'cause I know he was a latchkey kid and didn't feel supported. So that must have been a very difficult situation for him because I think he would learn to be overly self-reliant. [S2] Yes. [S1] And in that, in that, there,
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[S1] When you're overly self-reliant, you don't allow love in. You know, you, you, you become an alpha child, what I call an alpha child, and you think that everything is up to you. And again, if you're a child and you think everything is up to you, and you know because you're a child that you don't have the ability to...
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[S1] Dr. Kennedy. [S2] Every three months, every three months, Mel, we'll, we'll have a check in. I'll see, I'll write you a prescription. I will see you again in three months. [S1] Please do. All right, everybody, let's give it up for Dr. Kennedy in the house. [S2] Woo! [S1] Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you...
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[S1] All right. Well, welcome Dana White. I'm so excited that you're here. [S2] Thanks for having me on. This is fun. [S1] Really fun. Um, although I did notice, Dana, that as I was putting on some lipstick to dress up for this, sort of a metaphor for cleaning up your house before you have somebody over, I looked down ...
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[S1] covered in cat hair right now. And so I think that is a fitting way- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... to open up a conversation about how you can manage your house without losing your mind, and how you can actually take control of your life by taking control of clutter. And what I wanted to do was start with how this all ha...
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[S1] That's actually my, my superpower in the end, right? Is that I am speaking as someone who legitimately struggles with this. And so I'm sharing what I've figured out. So that's how I've ended up in this space, but it still surprises me when I really think about it. [S2] I wanna stop right there and unpack that beca...
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[S1] It's very common. It's also very common for people to not know about it because what I have found is that many times the people who are struggling with clutter tend to be very successful in other areas of their life. [S2] Oh. [S1] And so you just assume they have it together, they're organized. Honestly, one of th...
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[S1] ... believing, like, I completely believed I was the only person who struggled the way that I did. I thought that if s- people started to read my blog, they were gonna say, "You're disgusting. Get off the internet. You're a horrible mother." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I mean, really, like, that's, those are the thoughts t...
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[S1] ... trying to follow the advice of people who like talking about this stuff, right? Like, I've been following people who have been organized their whole life and think it's the most fun thing in the world to talk about. My brain is very different from their brains. And so I was lost on page three. I would look at ...
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[S1] Oh my God. I'm so excited to talk to you because I feel like the odd person out when it comes to my husband who has a brain like an Excel spreadsheet. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] The man can methodically just go through his list. He has so much discipline. It looks effortless.
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[S1] I viewed my house as a project because I am generally very successful with projects. [S2] Oh. [S1] Like that is something that I can do very well. Like you give me a, a large scale production, you know, I was a theater arts teacher. I will have that thing so organized
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[S1] to throw themselves into a big project at the expense of their house. You know, I have a friend who is very meticulous. Her house is always great. She's great at spreadsheets, that kind of stuff. Uh, and she will say, like, "We'll be talking about some..." She's like, "Oh, I can't take that on because how would I ...
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[S1] That sounds incredible. And here's where my mind went. [S2] Okay. [S1] When you said that a lot of the ways that people that love organization work don't work for a creative brain or a brain that, that has genius in other areas, I took a giant exhale. And, 'cause when I left the bathroom with cat hair all over my,...
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[S1] Makeup bag and a Dopp kit and shaken everything out upside down and it just splattered everywhere. And I was like, "Oh." You know, like another one of those, "See, I can't do this right." [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so I just like, "Okay, my brain doesn't work that way." So the self-acceptance thing and the acknowledgemen...
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[S1] I mean, it's, you're where you are. You have the makeup products all over the counter. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And you think that, that's what I want. [S2] Yes. [S1] Are we ready for me to tell you what the difference is? [S2] Yes. [S1] [LAUGHS] Like, here, here's the reality. [S2] Hit me. Hit me. [S1] That is organizi...
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[S1] Organizing and decluttering are separate things. They are not the same thing, but I always thought they were the same thing. I would look around at my mess and I would think, "I have got to get organized." [S2] Yes. [S1] Because that logically makes sense, right? [S2] Yes. [S1] Besides, organizing is a project. Su...
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[S1] De-cluttering made my house look better, function better, feel better. It was the thing I had been needing that I didn't know I needed. I thought I needed to get organized. [S2] Wow. Okay, so what is the difference between de-cluttering and organizing, if you had to boil it down? [S1] Organizing
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[S1] In my mind, it was bins and boxes. [S2] Yes. [S1] And, uh, systems and all these things that I would look at, which is what you're talking about when you look at those images on Instagram of the color-coded things and all that. [S2] Yes. [S1] You look at that and you think, "That's it. I need the colors." And so y...
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[S1] She puts it in her house, it looks like a magazine. You put it in your house, it looks like a thrift store, right? Like- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... that, that difference between like she can handle this stuff. And that was part of that self-acceptance, right? Was realizing I brought all this stuff into my house becaus...
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[S1] Except that I was bringing it into my house and I couldn't handle it. Like it was not possible for me to keep my house under control with the amount of stuff that I had in my house. So it's not a- [S2] Wow. [S1] It's not aesthetics. Some people hear clutter threshold and they're like, "Oh, yeah, this drives me." N...
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[S1] You are a genius. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I, when I hear the word organization, I think it looks pretty. That's what I, that, and I, and you're, you're exactly right. I'm like, okay, I get, I just have to get the bins that line up and the labeler that has the nice font and the little tags in my laundry room, and then I...
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[S1] I hate to tell you this. [S2] Uh-oh. [S1] But there is literally no way to know other than to declutter. There's not a, there's not a,
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[S1] And then- [S2] Oh, my God. [S1] ... the maintenance for that is a five minute pickup, okay? So this also, it does give you a gauge for, "Am I at my clutter threshold?" It doesn't mean that everything is always gonna be in its place. That is just not how I roll. I do not realize when something's leaving my hand. Li...
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[S1] Okay, so can we get super tactical? [S2] Sure. [S1] Because the second you started to talk about clutter threshold, and I started imagining my version of organization, which for the past, for my entire life, has been make it look pretty. Take all the shit that I have everywhere and arrange it to look nice. Um, it'...
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[S1] ... which drive me fucking crazy because stuff accumulates there. And then I thought about the base of the stairs, both the stairs upstairs where everyone dumps things that need to get taken upstairs, and I thought about the stairs down to the garage, which is where we put cardboard boxes. Like, I just, like, have...
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[S1] Where do you start? Like, take us to one spot, and can you walk us through the process of what decluttering actually means in that spot- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... and how you do it? [S2] Uh, before we do that, let me just say, the less stuff you have, the less stuff that can pile.
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[S1] And we're going to go through the decluttering process there. I'll, I'll explain that. But the reason why you want to start in a visible space is that you will see the progress that you're making. [S2] Okay. [S1] You will see your house getting better. The people who live with you will start to see your house gett...
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[S1] Okay? [S2] Okay. [S1] And so when you start there, because, 'cause here's the thing. So many times when we get that desire to declutter, we go to the pantry, we go to the linen closet, we go to the top shelf of the master bedroom closet. [S2] Yes. [S1] We do those spaces 'cause we think, "Okay, if I will work real...
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[S1] Okay. Well, what is more defeating than that, right? [S2] Yes. [S1] Like, is to feel like I have been organizing all day and I'm still embarrassed to open my front door. [S2] Yes. [S1] But if you work on visible spaces first, then you see the progress that you're making and you inspire yourself to keep going 'caus...
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[S1] Okay. Do you want me to talk about the actual process? [S2] Yes. [S1] Okay. [LAUGHS] I do. See, I have to have, like, real steps because I have to remind myself still. I still look at a space and go, "Uh," and I'm like, "Nope, I have steps." Okay? All right, so the first step is trash. Grab a black trash bag or wh...
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[S1] This morning, they were sitting in the mud room, which has profoundly passed my clutter threshold, in a clear, whitish-colored kitchen garbage bag. In the middle, I spotted a flannel shirt that I paid a lot of money for- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... for Christmas, that he is outgrown, and I tore open the bag, 'cause I c...
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[S1] ... right? [S2] Yes, I under... What, what am I... You know what I'm gonna do with that? I'm gonna hang it in my closet 'cause I can wear it, but I don't even want it. What the fuck is wrong with me, Dana? [S1] Nothing's wrong with you. This is normal. [S2] So is that why you have a black bag so you can't see the ...
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[S1] Paper sack. It doesn't matter, okay? [S2] Okay. [S1] But if you have a black trash bag, use that for exactly the reason that you're talking about. But I'm talking about trash, not necessarily donations at this point. [S2] Okay. [S1] Like when I, when I start with trash, the reason I start with trash is it is liter...
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[S1] Right. [S2] Okay. [S1] Like there are literally no decisions to be made, no emotions to be felt. It is just the action. And that immediately makes the space less overwhelming because there's less stuff in it than there was before. [S2] Okay. [S1] But it also helps my brain start to adjust to what's actually there....
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[S1] Okay. [S2] Okay. So we start with trash and a black bag. [S1] Yes. [S2] And anything that is trash. Now, I know this is a technical question, but I am mentally in a mud room. [S1] Okay. [S2] If you see a, uh, a mitten and it doesn't have a pair, is that considered trash as part of this process? Or are we just talk...
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[S1] If you have to think about it- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... skip it and we'll get to it in the next step. [S2] I love you. [S1] Okay. [S2] And I love that you're breaking it down because I think this is a, this is like a real thing that we struggle with. Like I see a pile, and you're right, I can become paralyzed because I ...
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[S1] What's the next step? [S2] And the mindset there too, that you're saying is, I just want it to be pretty. Change your mindset to, I'm going to make this space better. [S1] Hmm. [S2] That means I can literally throw away two pieces of trash, one piece of trash,
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[S1] Get distracted, step away, step away 'cause I'm just, don't wanna do this right now, and I've still made it better, which means I have been successful. Like, if I do anything, I have achieved better. Okay, so. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] All right, sorry, that was a little preachy break there.
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[S1] No, I think it's, I think it's perfect because your, your, your point about us attacking this like a project that then spills out of control is part of the problem. [S2] Yes. [S1] And really leaning into this concept of decluttering as an ongoing way of life and removing things that you have to manage is genius. '...
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[S1] But you are successful with every piece of trash. It is better because my goal is better. My goal is to have less in this space. If you have less in this space than you did when you started, you have successfully decluttered. You're not done, but you have successfully decluttered. It's just stuff leaving your hous...
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[S1] Step two is the easy stuff. So trash was the easiest of the easy stuff 'cause it's just going straight into the trash bag. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Or the recycling bin. If you have one available and accessible and established, bring it with you along with that trash bag, okay? [S2] Okay. [S1] But the second step is the ea...
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[S1] who hasn't felt successful at decluttering before, it feels like all decluttering decisions are going to be difficult. So we want to narrow down the ones that you really have to make decisions about. [S2] Okay. [S1] And go ahead and just stick stuff in the donate box. The key with the donate box, like the black tr...
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[S1] and writing the word donate on a piece of paper and taping it to the side. And then I would fill it up and then like have more questions about what's in that box. So you're basically just saying, no, have a box that's already gonna get donated to. [S2] Yes. [S1] Some bin that you can also drop off or basket and yo...
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[S1] So that you remember that was a donate box. [S2] Okay, so write the word donate. [S1] Right, but don't decorate it. Don't make it something you're gonna wanna reuse. [S2] Got it. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Now, when you do this, do you recommend that you just take that box in this session and just put it in the back of your ...
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[S1] That, uh, is a valid use of your decluttering time, but I don't want you to not declutter because you're not gonna be able to go drop it off today. Okay? [S2] Got it. [S1] So like- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... I will often have some donate- My husband would hear this and go, "You always have." You know? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ...
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[S1] ... the real power is, and those things are just ready to know that, "Oh, we're going to such and such place. There's a donation drop-off near there. Let's load 'em up and take 'em." [S2] Great. Got it. [S1] Yeah. [S2] What comes after donate? [S1] Okay. So, at this point, we have removed trash, easy stuff, and ob...
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[S1] ... to ask myself ten questions about everything, you know? And- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... besides, those questions generally let my brain spin out, right? Like, like, do I love it? Well, yeah. I love all this stuff. You know, like why would I have it in my house if I didn't love it, right? You know, so- [S2] Right.
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[S1] I, I couldn't ask myself those kinds of questions. So I came up with two questions, and if I can answer the first one, I don't even have to ask the second one. So the first question is, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Okay.
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[S1] That means, because this item was not easy. It doesn't have an established home in my house, okay? But I pick it up and I say, okay, I've got these other, I'm gonna have a prop here. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I decided not to wear these, you know? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Anyway, [LAUGHS] but if I needed my headphones, where wou...
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[S1] Even if I had no confidence, they would be there. It is- [S2] Got it. [S1] Because something, it needs a home, right? Like the whole, a place for everything and everything in its place that organized people say and think is so obvious, I was always like, "What are y'all talking about?" Like, I don't have places fo...
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[S1] It's so true. And, well, no, the go- I, what I'm realizing my goal is that I just want shit to look pretty. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I've never even thought about, like, organization as a way to make my life easier. And it's a genius question because I've put things in cabinets and drawers because I didn't know where el...
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[S1] This is how you establish the home. You do not, what I used to do was think about where my grandma kept hers. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And think, okay, well she, her house was always great. So I should put mine in the place, or call my best friend who's way more organized than me and say, "Hey, where do you keep your whate...
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[S1] And this also is part of that accepting how I actually function as opposed to how organized people function and I wish I was like them. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And instead saying, okay, you know, finger doll clippers were the thing when I came up with this question. As I was like,
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[S1] try to be like other people and never be able to find anything in my house. [S2] That's amazing. [S1] So- [S2] That's amazing. See, I don't know where to put, uh, uh, nail clippers, so I just look in Chris's top drawer of the bathroom, 'cause
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[S1] ... that's where you look for it first, then that's great. Like, that's great. If that's where you look first, that's where they should be. It, it- [S2] Got it. [S1] It really doesn't, it, there is not a perfect place for things. There's the place where you would look first in your house. That's what matters.
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[S1] But then there's the second part of the question, which is not actually a question, but is actually the key to my no mess, progress, and only progress decluttering process. Okay? [S2] Okay. [S1] And that is, when you answer that question, where would I look for this first, take it there now.
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[S1] I would be like, okay, this is the stuff that goes to the kids room. This goes to the garage. [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] This, this goes to the bathroom. [S2] Yes. [S1] And when I'm done- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... I will go deliver all these things through the house, and that makes so much more sense than taking it there right ...
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[S1] But that's how things work in an ideal world where I don't get distracted in the midst of a project. I don't stop halfway through. Nobody starts bleeding, right? Like I just- [S2] Oh, God. [S1] That's the ideal world. I don't live in an ideal world, okay? So I decided I'm gonna go ahead and take it there right now...
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[S1] No piles. Because before, I would step away for an hour or three weeks or whatever- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... and those neat little piles, where I had totally made all these decisions, those neat little piles now morph into one big pile outside the space that I was initially decluttering. So my house looks worse than...
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[S1] ... acting on that final decision. So it's either gone in the trash bag, it's gone to its already established home, it has gone in the donate box, or I have established a home by asking myself where would I look for this first, and then I take it there now. Okay? So that's the key to all of this. And people will r...
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[S1] It, it's working. Like it's changing my house because of that. Go ahead and take it there right now. But people don't like it. [S2] Wow. [S1] But it's still, it worked. I'm just telling you. [S2] I think it's genius because, you know, I, I, I completely related to moving and sorting and organizing things into pile...
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[S1] Yes. You come back to the space and you have to make all those decisions again. Right? [S2] Oh, my God. I, I feel like I do this every weekend. [S1] Yeah. [S2] That every weekend it is me on that hamster wheel of making piles and running things around and pulling apart stuff and holy smokes, this is revolutionary....
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[S1] Like, how do you determine if you're keeping it? Because I feel like I get very paralyzed when I have an item and I've spent a lot of money for it, or somebody's given it to me, or what, or I might need it some point 10 years from now. At what point do you actually take it to the junkyard? Like not do- [S2] Yeah. ...
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[S1] So all of those questions that you have in your mind, or that you just stated. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Uh, those are the natural questions that people think they need to ask when they're decluttering. I don't ask those questions. I stick to the facts. Okay? And so my process leads me through and helps me make those decisi...
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[S1] Right? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so before, when I would declutter, I would make value decision after value decision, which is exhausting, right? [S2] Yes. [S1] And then it's so emotionally exhausting, and I know it is, that then I would put off decluttering because I was like, "I don't have it in me to make those kin...
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[S1] And then I look at that space, and sometimes, this is a common question people have, is like, "What do I do when that space is its own big, decluttered mess?" All I'm gonna do is I'm gonna not leave that space any worse, and I'm gonna say, "What am I willing to get rid of from this messy space," where I would look...
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[S1] So it might be trash. Ideally, it's going to be trash or dead donations, 'cause then my trash bag and my donate box are back at the space I was initially decluttering, and that'll take me back there, right? [S2] Right. [S1] But, so I'm just gonna say, "What in here is trash?" Because it needs to be decluttered, ri...
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[S1] Is there a space for it? Which is a very, um... What's the word? It's, it's leaving my brain right now. But it's a very- [S2] I don't know. I'm hanging on every single word. Well, what do you do if you have, like, a basement or garage? There's, like, space in there. Can I, can I just give you an example? [S1] Sure...
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[S1] How nuts I am about this stuff. [S2] You are not nuts. [S1] No, but I, but I literally am realizing I, I, and I don't know if you listening to us are feeling the same sort of energy drain, but I'm realizing how much noise and, and, and just how much drama.
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[S1] Okay. [S2] Is this normal? [S1] What you just described, yes. What you just described is your brain spinning out, okay? [S2] Yes. [S1] And a lot of people who are naturally organized and who see this and go, I mean, I'll just be honest. How many times in your life, how many times in my life have I had somebody go,...
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[S1] can follow your process because I know you know all of my reasons why I want to keep this. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Like, and still have a process that works. Like, when I'm talking to someone who's like, "Those are dumb reasons. Like, everything you said made sense to me. I get it," right? And yet, when I thought that ...
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[S1] So the second decluttering question that I only ask myself if my first response to where would I look for this first, whether it's about the jacket, whether it's about a stapler, whatever. If I look at the item and I'm like, "Where would I look for this first?" And my answer is, "Uh, you know, like, okay." [S2] [L...
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[S1] Would it occur to me that we already had one? And it's tough 'cause you're holding it in your hand, right? Like, it's there. It's in front of you. And then how many of us are like, "Well, I just decluttered something and then I ended up needing it." But I had to make progress in my home. I had to get stuff out of ...
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