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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232739 | [S1] If I needed this, would it occur to me that I already had one? Because I didn't have a place where I would look for it first, which means I would not have even gone looking for it. Instead, I would have done without, you know, we would have said, "Hey, here's six sweatshirts," kid who forgot your coat, right? [S2]... | 29.52 | 3.463487 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232739.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232740 | [S1] If I didn't get rid of this item and I wouldn't have looked for it if I needed it, it's just sitting in my house and I'm adding more to it as I go and grab what I need because it doesn't occur to me that I already have one. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Okay? [S2] Yeah. [S1] So, so that right there is, is me saying, | 16.08 | 3.432059 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232740.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232741 | [S1] In that moment, because I think that's also the reality. The reality of the decluttering process, if I'm tracking, is not that you go, "Okay, this Sunday, I'm doing this in the mud room." It's that you walk out of your bedroom and you're like, "What the fuck?" Okay, it's like throwing all this stuff down. It's 7:1... | 28.64 | 3.450952 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232741.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232742 | [S1] I have a choice in that moment to say, if I needed this item, where would I look for this first? And if it's not immediate, and if, if I, the answer is the mud room, I walk to the mud room and hang it up. [S2] Yeah. [S1] If the answer is, "Ooh, it doesn't fit them anymore, and do we even need to keep it? Well, hel... | 27.44 | 3.367025 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232742.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232743 | [S1] If I needed this item, would it ever occur to me that I already had one? [S2] If I needed this item, would it occur to me that I already had one? And the answer is yes, 'cause I have the exact same size in a jacket for me. I buy the same company. So yes, I have one. [S1] Would you, would it occur to you that you h... | 19.12 | 3.406254 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232743.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232744 | [S1] ... that you had your son's jacket? Because if it would, then it's, it's fine to go take it with the place where you would look for it first because we're also gonna address the reality of that space as we get into the last step of the process. But- [S2] Got it. [S1] So let's- [S2] Yeah. | 12.96 | 3.359753 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232744.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232745 | [S1] So let's just say, let's indulge my psychoness, okay? [S2] Okay. [S1] 'Cause I think we all have that. If you're a creative mind, you're also thinking, "Huh, someday 15 years from now, there might be a scenario where I wish I had this." Right? [S2] Yes. [S1] So let's just say I go, "Okay. I, um, where am I gonna l... | 27.68 | 3.468646 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232745.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232746 | [S1] No, no, no. You, you didn't make a decision. [S2] Uh-oh. [S1] You asked yourself a question that revealed your instinct of where you would look for it first. Sorry, I just had to- [S2] If I, no, no, no. Great, great, great. [S1] Yeah. [S2] If I needed this item, where would I look for it first? And my instinct wou... | 24.56 | 3.489685 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232746.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232747 | [S1] If that's the place where you would look for it first, then you put it there. But if there is no thing there, like there's no place for it, but there's a pile of other stuff, okay, I'm not gonna leave that any worse, so what am I willing to get rid of in order to make room for this jacket? [S2] Oh. [S1] Which ofte... | 25.72 | 3.417156 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232747.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232748 | [S1] There's not actually a good place for this here. Or, wait, I'm not willing to get rid of any of this stuff in order for this jacket to stay. And it will help you realize, "Oh, I can just donate this item." [S2] I gotta donate this thing. [S1] Yeah. [S2] That's what I'm getting through all of this. [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... | 27.6 | 3.463111 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232748.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232749 | [S1] ... that. [S2] Right now. [S1] You're, you're like, "Oh, oh, I'm gonna put it down there. Yeah, I'll make a space down there." [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] But you're not dealing with the reality of the actual space. You're not dealing with the reality of, "Oh, wow, I cannot stand going in this basement and think," and I d... | 19.4 | 3.245049 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232749.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232750 | [S1] If I take it down to this spot, and then I realize this spot is full of spiders and all this stuff, and I don't want to leave a jacket down here. You know what I mean? Like, but when I go there, it forces me into that reality. So much of what I do, probably 100%, honestly, of what I do is just a process that helps... | 29.12 | 3.287868 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232750.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232751 | [S1] step in this process. [S2] Okay. So, let's say, and this is gonna apply to any space, all those spaces where you're taking things, but we're talking about the space that you are working on, okay? [S1] Okay, the mod room. [S2] So at this point, you have removed trash | 14.96 | 3.401727 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232751.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232752 | [S1] ... easy stuff, which belongs somewhere else. You've removed the donations and you are down, because you've gone through the two decluttering questions. You are only down to, or you are down to things that you would look for in this space, right? [S2] Okay. [S1] Like that's the only stuff that's in here is stuff- ... | 19.24 | 3.417033 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232752.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232754 | [S1] Let's say my friend, whose kids were the same age as mine, you know, her little craft area looked amazing. Mine was this huge pile of disasters spilling out of the cabinet, okay? And I would look and say, "Oh, she has her crayons in a red bucket." [S2] Yes. [S1] That's the difference between her and me, right? [S2... | 29.92 | 3.480206 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232754.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232755 | [S1] And we can't afford a new house right now, so I am doomed to be disorganized. That is just how my brain worked. I just thought that if I, you know, ran out of space in a container, I bought another container. And in reality, her space, I mean, her house was smaller than mine. But in my mind, my issue was that my h... | 25.24 | 3.303925 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232755.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232756 | [S1] Oh, okay. And I haven't had to make value decisions. Remember we were talking about this thing, but what about when I might use it? And what about, you know, and it was expensive and blah, blah, blah. Before I would pick up every single crayon, I mean, this is all hypothetical, right? But not really. Uh, but I wou... | 29.16 | 3.121018 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232756.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232757 | [S1] So I would make all these, and it took forever for me to analyze every single one. And instead it's just, I'm going to put my favorite ones in first, and I'm going to let the container make the hard decision for me. [S2] Wow. [S1] And then when I go to put the, uh, the red bucket on the shelf, I have to acknowledg... | 25.8 | 3.349603 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232757.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232758 | [S1] How valuable something is, how much sentimental, you know, feelings I have toward it. It's, does it have space? I can keep anything, but I can't keep everything and my house ever have a chance of being under control. Okay? [S2] Wow. [S1] So that's the container concept, which changes how you look at your house and... | 27.72 | 3.453914 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232758.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232759 | [S1] It's the container. [S2] Wow. [S1] I don't have the space for it. [S2] Wow. [S1] And that is very freeing. [S2] Jessie, could you go grab me those two Mason jars in the back with the pencils on them, on our little caddy full of shit in the office? [S1] [LAUGHS] I hope not. | 17.6 | 2.916817 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232759.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232760 | [S1] Oh, it's this one. It's this one. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Okay. So this one's good because we use, I'm, I've got Mason jars that have Sharpies, which we use, right? But, you know, I've got to point out here that this right here are watercolor pencils that Chris's mother gave to one of our kids probably ten Christmases ago... | 28.32 | 3.443975 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232760.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232761 | [S1] I don't want them. I, uh, tried to organize them by putting them in this jar, and then I thought, okay, I'll just put them in the office in case we ever decide we'd like to watercolor someday as an art project. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] They were probably 20 bucks. But I remember my mother-in-law saying to one of our kid... | 26.84 | 3.431258 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232761.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232762 | [S1] Oh my, I think you've- [S2] And you can blame the container. You can blame the reality of the space. But here's the other thing too, though. [S1] They need to go in the trash. Like I want to die. [S2] If they're 10 years old, maybe, honestly, probably they do. [S1] Yeah. Oh my God. [S2] Here, here's the thing. | 14.84 | 3.306391 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232762.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232763 | [S1] Sometimes people are like, and this is where I, you know, I always get the questions. As soon as I'm done talking, uh, speaking about decluttering is people will be like, maybe it's for them. They used to be an artist. They used to have the time, the bandwidth, whatever. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And now either because of... | 27.04 | 3.569522 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232763.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232764 | [S1] We need the pens that we actually use in here. [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] And so this allows me to get rid of these ones and identify it as, "Wait a minute. We never use that. I kept it for all these years because I thought, 'Oh, it has value. Oh, whatever.'" You know? And instead, I'm, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna let... | 18.04 | 3.361792 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232764.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232765 | [S1] Please help us, 'cause I am her husband. [S2] Right, and I think that's where I come in, into this scenario, is I always say, "Just so you know, I'm speaking from the perspective of her husband. I am not, there is not a way to change other people." Right? Like it's, and nobody likes to be changed. [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... | 23.04 | 3.509154 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232765.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232766 | [S1] ... often makes you hold on tighter to your stuff when you're like, you're just criticizing or whatever. So not saying that that's what she's doing at all. But here are the things to remember that we've talked about. Clutter threshold, okay? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Your husband has a different clutter threshold than you... | 19.76 | 3.370159 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232766.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232767 | [S1] If you just create an elaborate system that would work for you, and then try to push him into that system. Instead, remember the value of decluttering. If something does not exist in your home, it cannot end up all over the place. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right? Okay? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Now, along with that, I'm not sayin... | 28.32 | 3.552518 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232767.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232768 | [S1] But he didn't really do anything with it, and so it was just kind of there, and it would just get shifted all around. So I'm like, "This is the space for this." Uh, and he was like, "Oh. Oh. Wow, okay." You know, I mean, because I was saying, it's not, I'm not gonna have this argument over why do you have that stu... | 27.68 | 3.211171 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232768.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232769 | [S1] ... they get to put it in their container or whatever. 'Cause you can keep anything, but you can't keep everything. And then you let the container be the bad guy. So it's like, you know, as, as that- [S2] So that's, so just so I'm clear- [S1] Yeah. [S2] So, so, 'cause I really relate to this question. [S1] Mm-hmm.... | 29 | 3.334437 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232769.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232770 | [S1] Clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you can handle. So- [S2] He can handle- [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] ... a lot less. [S1] It's possible his clutter threshold is higher than yours. | 11.76 | 3.192813 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232770.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232771 | [S1] Oh, that's what I meant. Higher. [S2] Yes. Okay, okay, okay. [S1] Higher. I meant lower, meaning- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... he's gotta have less stuff around. So his clutter threshold is higher than mine, and if he sees something out of place, he is immediately drawn to go put it in its place. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And like ... | 27.2 | 3.539606 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232771.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232772 | [S1] Not fights, but it's frustrating for him because he has often said, "It makes me feel like you think I'm your maid." And I'm like, "No, I just don't care about hanging my coat up right now." [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I'll get to it later. [S2] There's- [S1] How do you handle this conflict between an organized person and... | 25.68 | 3.325407 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232772.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232773 | [S1] Okay. [S2] ... to make that clear. Right. Okay. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] [LAUGHS] So it's not easy. And this is literally the number one question, okay? But I am gonna talk to you as the person asking me this question. [S1] Okay. [S2] All right? Because you are the only person that you can control, right? So we can't co... | 23 | 3.401222 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232773.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232774 | [S1] ... I feel bad. [S2] ... Yeah, it's a, it's a frustration in this. Um, what I'll say on that is the five minute pickup is the answer to your tendency to randomly put things down. Okay? [S1] What is the five minute pickup? | 13.2 | 3.483793 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232774.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232775 | [S1] And so it's, I'm going to set the timer for five actual minutes. [S2] Okay. [S1] Not trying to trick myself into working for longer, but I'm going to set the timer for five minutes at whatever point in the day where it crosses my mind. | 13.6 | 3.543935 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232775.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232776 | [S1] Okay. So that's my answer to you in this scenario. My answer to him, if he was asking me this question- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... the first thing I would do is tell a little story about, uh, my husband. And, uh, we do this thing where, like, on our anniversary, we'll kinda like, you know, write in a journal and- [S2] Yea... | 25.6 | 3.50643 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232776.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232777 | [S1] And I was so happy that he said that to me. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because what he was saying was, 'cause he went on to say, "I've realized you don't do this on purpose." [S2] Yes. [S1] This is not, you are not refusing to close the cabinet doors. [S2] Yes. [S1] You just literally don't notice whether they're open or c... | 28.68 | 3.412741 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232777.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232778 | [S1] Do better in these types of things by organizing. You're going to help them by decluttering. Even some of your own, like stuff in that common area where we both use this space, it's better for us to have less stuff in here so that there's less stuff to get out of control. [S2] So do you recommend that a couple do ... | 24.6 | 3.444035 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232778.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232779 | [S1] Not to start. [S2] Okay. [S1] I recommend that whoever is listening to me, I always say, I'm like, you're the one listening to this lady on the internet who has referred to herself as a slab. I mean, I'm like, you know, you're the one who cares enough to be, you know, listening to this podcast right now or whateve... | 18.32 | 3.539588 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232779.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232780 | [S1] Uh, for anybody listening that's going to go straight to a visible space- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... and start this process, can you just let them know a little bit about the emotional aspect of trying to let go of stuff and going through the process of decluttering? | 21.92 | 3.369866 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232780.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232781 | [S1] I was so emotionally ta- attached to my stuff. Either because it represented who I thought I was gonna be someday, or who I had been in the past. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Or, you know, just sentimental things that people had given me that they gave me because they were like, "Oh, Dana will treasure this." And I'm like, "... | 27.44 | 3.486595 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232781.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232782 | [S1] I'm not going to ask you to change how you feel about things, but start with the trash. Okay? Because the beauty of that is as you start with these things and you make visible progress, before you've ever even dealt with anything that has emotion attached to it, is you see the progress that you're making. [S2] Mm-... | 26.96 | 3.492308 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232782.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232783 | [S1] ... less stuff changes my house. It changes how this space looks. And then by the time you get to more emotional stuff, it looks different to you, right? [S2] Oh, that's great. [S1] Or you have created the space to be able to keep that item. Where when we're like, "That's gonna be emotional, and so I'm not gonna d... | 28.76 | 3.444961 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232783.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232784 | [S1] Phenomenal. I have three final questions to ask you. [S2] Okay. [S1] You've been sensational, by the way. Just sensational. [S2] Thank you. [S1] Um, you distinguish between routines and to-do lists. Can you explain that? | 12.72 | 3.446017 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232784.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232785 | [S1] Sure. So I, as a project person, uh, I would look around my house and think, "Ooh, I'm changing today. Today's the day. This is it." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? And so I would make a list of all the things I needed to do. Well, just looking at that list of all the things I needed to do was completely exhausting, rig... | 25.52 | 3.391668 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232785.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232786 | [S1] focused in on that and would take about seven days is what I found, to be like, "Okay, now I get it. Now it's starting to feel natural." And then I would move on to another thing. And so I was adding daily habits and that is what changed my house. That plus decluttering. [S2] Gotcha. [S1] Not organizing, not decor... | 27.76 | 3.490863 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232786.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232787 | [S1] ... two very basic habits, okay? Really, there are four that I talk about in how to manage your home without losing your mind. But if you can't do those, you just do these two. And if you can't do both, you just do one. And the first one is do the dishes. [S2] Right. [S1] So it's like, even when I start to feel co... | 25.2 | 3.602469 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232787.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232788 | [S1] ... to get started. [S2] Yep. [S1] Uh, then the next thing is the five minute pickup. Okay? [S2] Yep. [S1] If I will do that, even if my house is a disaster right now, I'm not gonna get it perfect first and then start doing five minute pickups. I'm just gonna do a five minute pickup every day at the least. [S2] Ri... | 18.28 | 3.323492 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232788.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232789 | [S1] Yes. Uh, checking the bathrooms for clutter. [S2] Yep. [S1] Is another one. I'm not even talking about, like, cleaning it. I'm not talking about cleaning it. I'm just talking about checking it for clutter. Make sure that, you know, when it's time to clean it, all I have to do is clean it. It's not, like, covered, ... | 29.04 | 3.451081 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232789.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232790 | [S1] Wow. [S2] Okay. [S1] I love this. I love this 'cause I can do this. This is awesome. And how, here's a big one. Now that we're getting into the routine of these four things, and we have five minute pick ups that help us with our relationship because we're kind of on a daily basis decluttering, and we have the five... | 28.48 | 3.459591 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232790.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232791 | [S1] How do you stop bringing new stuff into your home? [S2] So, you know how when you get sick from some kind of a food and then you never want to eat that food again? [S1] Uh-huh. [S2] Like, okay. It's because you had a negative experience with it. That's the beauty of decluttering. So all this angst that you're goin... | 26.96 | 3.27787 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232791.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232792 | [S1] the, there's a big difference in what you see at the store or the garage sale, which was my problem. You know, like that stuff is gonna look different to you because you will have decluttered something very similar to it and you'll start to see it as future clutter. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So that the way to stop shoppi... | 29.24 | 3.539741 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232792.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232793 | [S1] Keep you from bringing things into your house because of the pain and just the physical effort that you've put out through all of that time that you've spent decluttering. [S2] And all the money that you see that you wasted. [S1] Yeah. [S2] By buying stuff that you now don't need, that you've now donated, that you... | 16.36 | 3.507892 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232793.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232794 | [S1] Thank you. [S2] Thank you. [S1] You've been so kind. [S2] Much for being here on the Mel Robbins podcast. I can't wait to have you back. [S1] I'll come back anytime. [S2] Is there anything else that you, that we didn't get to, that you just wanted to share? [S1] Yeah, I did want to be clear with the five step proc... | 21.88 | 3.417229 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232794.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232795 | [S1] Dana, thank you so much. We have loved having you on the podcast. We will absolutely have you back. I cannot wait to, to talk to you. We'll have to do cleaning next. [S2] Let's do it. [S1] Done. All right. Thank you. You're the best. [S2] Thank you. [S1] You're the best. [S2] This was fun. [S1] You're so good. | 20.92 | 3.25558 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p57_m4-dialogue_0232795.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758858 | [S1] I'm great. [S2] Lay it on me, Poppy. [S1] Okay. I have a question for you. Um, so like, how does one turn off that voice that's, you know, been programmed into our head, um, telling us that, you know, our needs, our emotions don't matter and we must cater to theirs? So like, how do you turn that off? | 21.92 | 3.32077 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758858.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758859 | [S1] ... that it's almost hard to make it go silent. It's much easier to put a new playlist in there. [S2] Right. [S1] And so there are two things that, uh, two tricks I'm gonna give you. [S2] Okay. [S1] So, number one, well, before I get into the tricks, I just wanna acknowledge something. Great job recognizing that t... | 27 | 3.215079 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758859.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758860 | [S1] So it says that, you know, whenever I put myself first and don't put, you know, other people first, I'm selfish. Or if I want to do something for myself, it's never gonna succeed. [S2] Now did some- [S1] Yeah. [S2] Did somebody tell you that? [S1] Yes, my parents, actually. [S2] Okay. | 26.2 | 2.892265 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758860.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758861 | [S1] ... that makes you feel terrible. [S2] Right. [S1] And so, when you can recognize who the programming comes from, it also helps because then you can separate yourself from that voice because it's not your voice, it's your parents' voice, and you have a chance to break this chain. You have the chance to be the one ... | 28.96 | 3.457639 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758861.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758862 | [S1] You have the chance to create a whole new way of thinking and talking to yourself, and that's incredible. And so the first thing that you said is that you have a belief, because somebody programmed this into your mind, that runs on default, that putting yourself first is selfish. Correct? [S2] Right. [S1] How does... | 28.96 | 3.57033 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758862.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758863 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] If you could program a different belief, what would the belief be? [S1] That, you know, um, um, b- b- worth it, basically. It's okay for me to take care of myself. It's okay for me to have emotions. It's okay for me to just be me. Yeah. | 25.04 | 3.199367 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758863.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758864 | [S1] And that's why you're scared to put yourself first. This goes way deeper. And so you're doing fantastic on behalf of all of us by recognizing that your own thinking is holding yourself back. And I can, I can tell you're just sick of it. And so here's what you have to start to do. Number one, I want you to name the... | 28.44 | 3.238922 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758864.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758865 | [S1] Sally, Sue, Jaco, Raul, uh, Michael. We gotta name this thing. [S2] Oh, boy. Um, Vicky, I guess. [S1] Vicky. Okay. So when this default programming comes up, you're going to talk back to Vicky. | 19.36 | 3.392446 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758865.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758866 | [S1] Yeah, but if you, uh, don't make your boss happy, nobody's gonna love you. [S2] Mm. [S1] Tell her, "Shut up." [S2] Shut up. [S1] If you, uh, don't do exactly what your parents want, they're gonna be disappointed. [S2] Shut up. [S1] Say it louder. I don't believe you. [S2] Shut up. [S1] Say her name. | 28.96 | 3.20364 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758866.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758868 | [S1] Okay. [S2] I mean it. [S1] Right. [S2] I really mean it. If you believed in yourself, what's one change you would make that would improve your life? [S1] I would be less intense, I would say. [S2] Why are you intense? | 16.08 | 3.15521 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758868.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758869 | [S1] Because, um, well, just a little story for you. Like, I'm an immigrant. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so are my parents. And they are very tough on me. They're very toxic because of, you know, culture. And they feel the need to raise me a certain way. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But in terms of, you know, living in America, what th... | 26.44 | 3.138307 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758869.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758870 | [S1] So I'm just like always living on the edge, basically. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And if I could just, you know, embrace myself, I think I would be a more relaxed person. [S2] Yes. So are you open to some coaching? | 14.24 | 3.091305 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758870.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758871 | [S1] Because it has held you hostage for far too long, and you have the chance to not only heal yourself, but to heal this pattern that's been passed down through your family. [S2] Yeah. [S1] What are you thinking? [S2] Um, so for right now, we're not really on speaking terms. Yes, they have abused me physically, emoti... | 28.92 | 3.490361 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758871.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758872 | [S1] strong enough, confident enough, secure enough, and safe enough to reconnect with them if that's what you choose to do. And if you choose to never do that, that's okay too. Because you deserve to be happy. You do. [S2] Okay. [S1] What did you get from this conversation? | 26.68 | 3.354477 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758872.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758873 | [S1] And when you start to change the way that you speak to yourself, again, your whole mindset's gonna change. And that will be what empowers you to create a new relationship if that's what you decide to do in the future. But what you're doing right now is you're actually working on the most important relationship on ... | 29.2 | 3.335635 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758873.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758874 | [S1] Thank you. [S2] And thank you for telling me what you told me because you actually saying, "Wait a minute. I can hear what you're saying, but there was physical abuse here, Mel." That's you putting yourself first. That's another example of how strong you are. Claim that stuff, baby. [S1] [LAUGHS] Thank you. [S2] Y... | 23.76 | 3.540706 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758874.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758875 | [S1] Hi. [S2] How you doing? [S1] I'm great. How are you? [S2] [LAUGHS] Doing all right, doing all right. Do have a question for you. I mean, wonderful information from Poppy. My question comes more of what about when this kind of programming and voices are from spouses, friends, employers, you know, and they're just b... | 24.36 | 3.180091 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758875.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758876 | [S1] Great question. So the question is, what if you've got programming from childhood that now is basically being reinforced by colleagues, bosses, spouses, friend group, blah, bitty, blah, bitty, blah. [S2] Yes. [S1] What is the kind of default negative thing that you say to yourself? | 25.32 | 3.540067 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758876.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758877 | [S1] It's definitely not good enough, and who the heck do you think you are? [S2] Ooh, the who the heck do you think you are, that has a real bite to it. Um- [S1] Is it the- [S2] Yeah, it does. So, um, I don't know why I'm gonna ask you this, but I'm gonna ask you this. Were either of your parents on the narcissism per... | 29.2 | 3.342329 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758877.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758879 | [S1] ... that somebody else trained you to think this way. And it is a level of being deliberate. As if I said, "You're gonna move to Russia and you gotta speak fluent Russian." I realize you've spoken, how old are you? [S2] 65. [S1] You've sp- spoken English for 65 years. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] But for the rest of your li... | 29.32 | 3.267339 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758879.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758880 | [S1] But we've also got to start to do the work of catching the filter in your brain. So yes, your boss may be, uh, an erratic douche who calls out the things that are negative or is always in a grouchy mood. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But that doesn't mean anything about you. | 20.32 | 3.397537 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758880.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758881 | [S1] I love that you're laughing now. You seem lighter. [S2] It's a little bit. [S1] What did you get out of this? [S2] I, I love the, the one thing, it's not everything's about me, period. It's not, it's not mine. Not always, not all of it, you know? And really retraining the brain, really working through, catching th... | 29.76 | 3.12608 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758881.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758882 | [S1] Yes, I am. [S2] Yes, you are. [S1] Yes, I am. [S2] Give yourself more credit. And, you know, it is true. Like, we get so focused on our own bullshit that we convince ourselves that the world's problems are our doing. Most people have so much stuff going on and are so busy beating themselves up, they're not even th... | 29.76 | 3.419539 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758882.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758883 | [S1] Well, quit taking myself so seriously, I'm not getting out of this thing alive. [S2] [LAUGHS] That's true. This ends the same. And, and how about adding, "I might as well enjoy the rest of the ride." [S1] There we go. I may as well enjoy the rest of the ride. [S2] Yeah. The first 65 kicked my ass, so let's have so... | 24.36 | 3.39777 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758883.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758884 | [S1] And so, I do believe the best days of your life are on the road ahead. I believe that. [S2] Thank you. I'm, I'm believing it too. I'm, I'm get, I'm getting there. [S1] Awesome. Well, you know, I'm here. I'll be kicking your ass forward the whole way. [S2] Good. [S1] Let's go. All right, go get 'em. Awesome. [S2] T... | 28.84 | 3.230567 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p58_m4-dialogue_0758884.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617537 | [S1] ... the scene. This morning, sitting in the front seat of my husband's pickup truck, I am unpacking in real time for you the shit that went down on the drive there. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And will you just give me some grace? This is not my finest hour. | 20.16 | 3.412138 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617537.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617538 | [S1] And you know that podcast, the Mel Robbins podcast? She did this episode about evening routines and how evening routines help you set up a morning routine. Well, guess what? I didn't listen to that fucking bitch. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And I did not set myself up last night. Nope, not at all. | 18.08 | 3.133091 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617538.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617539 | [S1] That's what happened. I immediately started to feel that way. Oh my God. You know, the venting is not making me feel better. I thought it would make me feel better, and I'm wondering if it's because I can't hear you responding. So I'm putting my hand in my heart. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] It's okay, Mel. It's okay. It's o... | 21.4 | 2.95251 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617539.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617540 | [S1] Okay. [S2] Did you experience that? Like when- [S1] Yeah, a little bit. But I was more, I was more aware of just your ADHD or whatever you were doing. You were distracted by something. [S2] Well, I was freaked out when Oakley called. [S1] You mean while we were driving over here? | 21.04 | 2.843252 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617540.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617541 | [S1] Uh-huh. You were your typical stressed out self, so why don't we just take a drive home and deal with it when we get home? [S2] All right, you'll talk to me about it when we get home? [S1] Yeah. [S2] Okay, cool. So, uh, it is several hours after all of that that you just heard, and I am now upstairs above the gara... | 29.04 | 3.046384 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617541.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617542 | [S1] Hey, so how was your nap? I know you, you, uh, slept off the procedure. [S2] It was good. [S1] Awesome. Um, thank you for agreeing to come up here and unpack this with me. [S2] Sure. [S1] I would love to ask you, what is it like when I become like a tornado in those stressful situations? | 27.72 | 3.514654 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617542.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617543 | [S1] ... reaction. You and I have been trapped in a dynamic since we've met each other, so that's 29 years. [S2] [LAUGHS] I guess it keeps getting, yeah, it keeps getting more. [S1] Where I do this. I trample all over you when the alarm inside me rings. When the alarm inside you rings, you go in and you start to proces... | 25.64 | 3.282275 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617543.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617544 | [S1] So what do you wish? [S2] Well, a couple things about that though. [S1] Yeah. [S2] What's interesting is that the resentment cuts both ways. [S1] Oh. [S2] You know, you, you might resent me for not fighting fire with fire or responding how you would, but when I feel bulldozed or that you're not giving me the space... | 29.52 | 3.389614 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617544.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617545 | [S1] Mm. So you've been able to put up a force field. [S2] A little bit. [S1] You know, Chris, sometimes I wish I could put up a force field and protect myself from myself. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] You are a saint. Harriet Lerner does have some direction for us, though. She says that you need to learn how to hang in | 21.28 | 3.122834 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617545.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617546 | [S1] Like you're problem solving and parsing. So you're even seeing this, you guys, in real time. Like Chris is seeking to understand, he's gathering information. If you ask me that question, "What are you scared of right now, Mal?" It would have me turn toward the source and realize, "Okay, this is an irrational fear ... | 29 | 3.536408 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617546.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617547 | [S1] Bark, bark, bark. [S2] Bark, bark, bark. I'll tell you what would help me. I think what would help me is if we're in that situation, if you were to just be like, "I need a sec, I'm processing," or, "I need a sec, I'm thinking about how to solve this problem." [S1] So shut the fuck up doesn't work? [S2] No. [S1] [L... | 17.8 | 3.429077 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617547.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617548 | [S1] You'd have to add in, "Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to solve the problem, and I can't with you fucking barking at me." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] That's probably not as kind as, "What are you scared of, honey?" [S2] Yeah. [S1] And, "Give me a second. I'm processing. I'll handle it." And that would help me do what I need t... | 22.44 | 3.379746 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617548.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617549 | [S1] It's true. Our kids come to you to talk. [S2] And, and I admire that. [S1] They come to me for an emergency. [S2] I admire that about you, the, the, the 20 steps ahead, 'cause there's some value and power in that. But I think that in situations where it just completely eviscerates the contribution I could bring to... | 23.4 | 3.457542 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617549.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617550 | [S1] Well, I'm kind of afraid if I open my mouth at all, it'll come out like a tornado. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] One more thing. What if I were to call you the trip leader? 'Cause this is something else I would recommend people do. One of the things that has come up in our therapy with Dr. Cooper that has really helped our r... | 23.68 | 3.435566 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617550.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617551 | [S1] And so, instead of me- [S2] Not my trip leader, the trip leader. [S1] Whoa. The trip leader has arrived, people. Well, you're kind of my trip leader. I mean, I- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... like to think of you as my trip leader, but you are the trip leader, especially when you're leading your retreats for soul degree- ... | 26 | 3.258448 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617551.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617552 | [S1] hard thinking and problem solving and worrying that you are doing. I'm sorry for that. [S2] Thanks for saying that. I hadn't really spent much time thinking about that, but I think you're actually right, so I accept your apology. [S1] Thank you. I love you. [S2] [LAUGHS] I love you too. | 20.32 | 3.336816 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p61_m4-dialogue_0617552.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_m4-dialogue_0303445 | [S1] ... the one that deep down in your heart you know is the best and truest decision for you, it's also the one that scares the hell out of you. All right. Do we have Katrina here? Oh, great. Hi, Katrina. [S2] Hi, Mel. How are you doing? [S1] Hi. I'm good. Why don't you go ahead and start by reading, uh, I think they... | 23.68 | 3.350579 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_m4-dialogue_0303445.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_m4-dialogue_0303446 | [S1] A brilliant and well-experienced woman once said, "One decision can change the trajectory of your life forever." So I hope you can help me figure out what decision to make or at least ways to make this grueling decision. Thanks, Mel. [S2] Okay. So I think that this is a very short coaching session. [S1] [LAUGHS] O... | 28.44 | 3.214634 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p62_m4-dialogue_0303446.mp3 | [
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