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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042626 | [S1] ... that instead of raising your hand or stop talking over me or continuing to talk, if you lean back, you put your fingertips together and make kind of like a church steeple or a triangle and you lean back in your chair- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and then you stare at the person who is talking over you or what do you... | 19.28 | 3.436598 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042626.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042627 | [S1] She was a bully boss. So if you have bully bosses and bully people in your life, pull out that steeple, 'cause when you steeple people, you have power over people. [S2] Does it work with a spouse or somebody you're dealing with- [S1] It does. [S2] ... and kids. [S1] And kids, yeah. They, they feel like they're in ... | 18.8 | 3.294097 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042627.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042628 | [S1] ... Steeple. I love it. It's almost like a little shield that you're creating. It's like you can become your own superhero superpower when you steeple. It's like Wonder Twins unite and they used to hit their fists. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like you're now creating a force field. You, you are in charge when you put the stee... | 23.24 | 3.227208 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042628.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042629 | [S1] ... to your kids. So when she does an interview, look at Indra Nooyi, she grabs her chin and I say, "When we grab our chin, we're about to win." Take a picture of yourself. How do you normally sit? And now take a picture of yourself while holding your chin. Look how much more intelligent we look. We look like we h... | 29.24 | 3.345483 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042629.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042630 | [S1] Yeah, what is my point? [S2] Like a shovel, and a pointy chin, you can take it, you can take something on the chin. And a pointy chin is like a shovel in that you will fight for people, you will fight, you will have that determination, is that, that, that chin right there. And so, it's a- [S1] Wow. So- | 18 | 3.443578 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042630.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042631 | [S1] Can you, can you, I, I have to, I have to just tell you a quick story. [S2] Yeah. [S1] When my husband was in the restaurant business, we couldn't go out to another restaurant and actually have a nice date because the man would be so preoccupied, "Oh, there's 40 seats, there's this many waiters." Like he was just ... | 29.84 | 3.510276 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042631.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042632 | [S1] Not really paying. I can't unsee what we're about to talk about, detecting deception. I can't unsee the detecting deception hot spots I'm gonna share with you. [S2] Okay. [S1] I cannot notice them. So we'll go over those in a second. But I will, I'm gonna reverse engineer what your husband does. And I've never met... | 23.4 | 3.183579 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042632.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042633 | [S1] It says you, they want lots of de, two things. One, they're going to want lots and lots of details. That's number one. Number two, in your emails, if you're detail-oriented, and your emails are probably too long. And someone like me, I'm never going to read your emails. I'm going to pick up the phone and call and ... | 27.32 | 3.379965 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042633.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042634 | [S1] Oh my God, now I'm overwhelmed. You know which ones I want to focus on? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Deception. [S2] De- | 4.76 | 3.34009 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042634.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042635 | [S1] Now, I said no, and for people who are listening, I shrugged at the same time, and that's why Mel's laughing. But it doesn't mean I cheated. See, that shrug means, Mel, you opened a file in a cabinet that says, "Top secret," of something I don't want to share with you. [S2] Oh. [S1] And maybe what I don't want to ... | 27.92 | 3.466564 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042635.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042636 | [S1] I want you to tell me the truth. Whether you tell me the truth or you don't, 'cause we don't hear, "Don't." Don't tell me the truth. I know more than you think I know. So I'm gonna use that embedded command after the "don't" to say, "Tell me the truth." So now I'm gonna ask you some questions- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... ... | 28.6 | 3.092166 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042636.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042637 | [S1] ... and now I'm next to a high- [S2] ... literally scared. I'm like, shoulders down, lips out. [S1] No, where was I last night? [S2] I don't know what I did. I think I was here. I think I was here. [S1] [LAUGHS] So- [S2] So, so hold on. I wanna make sure that we get, so you now, | 14.48 | 3.015919 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042637.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042638 | [S1] Are gonna watch shoulder shrugs. [S2] Yes. [S1] If you are feeling like something's off. If you are then going to open up the file and explore more, you're counseling us, number one, to either start with, "I could be wrong." [S2] Yes. [S1] Or to say, "I'm gonna ask you a question and | 21.76 | 3.511904 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042638.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042639 | [S1] You're either gonna tell me the truth or don't. Tell me the truth. It's the pause, right? [S2] That's it. The pause creates the. [S1] Because then they hear the, "Tell me the truth," as the, 'cause I heard you say, "Tell me the truth," twice. [S2] Yes. [S1] The don't sort of got swept under the rug, which is why I... | 29.16 | 3.385086 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042639.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042640 | [S1] Yes. Although I'm now thinking, am I truthful? I don't know if I'm truthful. Am I truthful? I'm city th- I mean, I, I literally, when you do this, 'cause I think you're looking right eye to right eye, too. You're like- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] ... commanding me. So you can say to your kid or your spouse or somebody that... | 22.16 | 3.282677 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042640.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042641 | [S1] ... language interactions. So- [S2] So what do we say to them instead of, "You're addicted. You're playing too much." [S1] I said to my son, Angus, "Hey, what game are you playing?" Some zombie apocalypse. I go, "How do you play? Do you have to kill the zombies or catch them?" He said, "Both." I go, "So you unders... | 29.16 | 3.261126 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042641.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042642 | [S1] And if we can do a reset, and she just calls them good to know. Hey Mel, I did not appreciate you, um, getting me back focused on detecting deception when I wanted to talk about leadership. Good to know. [S2] Good to know. [S1] Good to know. They're just a bunch of good to knows. I, I spoke at an event called Camp... | 18.16 | 3.46158 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042642.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042643 | [S1] ... they're, they're before me, and then I'm the, like, fat girl size 22 in the back of the room, right? Coming up next. [S2] So- [S1] And I have 25 minutes. And I got my stinkin' thinkin' coming in. Boy, they didn't get a standing ovation. They di- you know, people barely applauded. Like, if they don't like them,... | 20.08 | 3.403349 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042643.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042644 | [S1] Pull your shoulders back. The difference between Superman and Clark Kent is a two inch posture difference. Clark Kent, his shoulders are pulled forward. If you pull, not, we always say pull your shoulders back. That's actually wrong. You're never gonna pull your shoulders back. You actually look weird, like some t... | 23.32 | 3.164136 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042644.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042645 | [S1] ... wrong, okay? [S2] All right, what do we do? [S1] If you pull your shoulders back, it's actually uncomfortable and you're not, and you look weird. Instead, I want you to think like, um, like, um, Tony Stark, right? So Tony Stark has, and, and, and he has this circle thing- [S2] Oh, yeah, for Iron Man. | 14.32 | 3.368945 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042645.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042646 | [S1] So you just want to take that laser beam and lift your chest to where the wall meets the ceiling. [S2] Okay. [S1] Relax your shoulders. Relax those, those, yeah, much better. And as you're walking, you change how you are perceived. So I'm backstage. I'm in the back of the room. I was coming from the back. And I'm ... | 22.76 | 3.142209 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042646.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042647 | [S1] And you can't be negative more than 17 seconds. After 17 seconds, I give my positivity. I'm amazing. I know cool stuff. I'm going to change their life. People in here are hurting. At least one woman needs to know this, that she's amazing. And I, and I do that. And I go where the wall meets the ceiling is a confide... | 24.12 | 3.249442 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042647.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042648 | [S1] I'm here to teach you about body language and the power of influencing people and emotional intelligence and loving ourselves. And then I, I just killed it. I just, I just had a mad love affair with the audience. I made it less about me and more about them. And I'm like, "They need what I know." My mother always s... | 25.32 | 3.085973 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042648.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042649 | [S1] And the example that you gave about it being like our own personal pass code, could you explain that to everybody and why this is such an important thing to pay attention to, whether it's in your kids or friendships or in, you know, a relationship with somebody? [S2] Okay, yes. And, um, I just touched my eye when ... | 22.08 | 3.298313 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042649.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042650 | [S1] We have to turn up our, our, or I, my challenge to you is to turn up your visual information channel. So I touch my eye and I want to touch mine. [S2] Okay. [S1] So for me, I'm in Orlando, Florida. I'm speaking today. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, for this company. And it's 103 and I can share with you till 130 and I hit th... | 29.88 | 3.210917 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042650.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042651 | [S1] Be careful of having a little information and saying, "Aha, I got you." It's, it's about noticing the behavior and then if you can ask those powerful questions. There's always that, another story that you might not know. And so for me, that's what happened when I touched Fiona. [S2] Got it. [S1] I loved it. [S2] I... | 15.84 | 3.133782 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042651.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042652 | [S1] So, here's eye blocking. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Eye blocking, I have an iPhone right here, right? So- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... right now, um, you can see there's a code that's popping up, right? So I have numbers one to, one to nine and then zero at the bottom. I have to enter my code to get access to my cellphone. [S2] Ye... | 24.92 | 3.178911 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042652.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042653 | [S1] ... do that. [S2] Eye blocking when they're talking to us. [S1] I do that. | 3 | 3.080379 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042653.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042654 | [S1] ... [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... I do that, but I think it's my ADHD. [S2] Yeah, I mean- [S1] Like I notice that I have a really hard time staying in locked eye contact with somebody when I'm talking. I can do it laser beam focus when I'm listening to somebody, but there's something about searching for words or capturing m... | 29.04 | 3.476249 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042654.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042655 | [S1] It makes you even more likeable because it is a low status thing to break eye contact when talking. And so what comes across as when we do that, or if someone's doing that, it comes across as you're not a no at all. You don't think you're, you're still a work in progress. You don't think you're better than everyon... | 28.92 | 3.544609 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042655.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042656 | [S1] Okay. Mm. All right. Confident and likeable. Um, we have three power zones. Um, our neck dimple, I was gonna back up and show you a little bit. So our neck dimple, it's our throat right here. Our belly button. [S2] Our neck dimple, is that the neck dimple, like the little dip, the, the dip in there? [S1] Yeah, the... | 21.52 | 2.802063 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042656.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042657 | [S1] And it's our first connection to another human being. Our belly button was connected- [S2] Oh, that's true. [S1] ... to the umbilical cord. So the belly button roll, I call it. So keep the three power zones open. Watch your pacifiers, those high level pacifiers. If you're nervous, and it happens, first of all, giv... | 29.44 | 3.362055 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042657.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042658 | [S1] Because when you're nervous, we see it. And mirror neurons make us nervous and love you even more. As soon as you disclaim it and like, "Oh, I'm nervous. I've never done this before," we're like, "Ah, she figured it out." Don't let us in. Like we are already seeing your body language. We're cheering you on. We lov... | 24.24 | 3.006292 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042658.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042659 | [S1] These are the people. Every weakness that we have, you're lazy, you don't finish projects, 80% you finish, it's connected to body language. You don't finish projects, like my ex-husband, that was his cute nickname I called him, lazy, right? He would, I call him the 80% man. He'd paint a room and leave it 20% undon... | 29.08 | 3.230224 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042659.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042660 | [S1] But his, know what his superpower was? [S2] No. [S1] A lazy person who doesn't finish work. | 5.4 | 3.15283 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042660.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042661 | [S1] I bet you they're the most flexible people in your life and you may want to thank them and say, "I didn't realize you have a superpower of flexibility and I want to honor that and thank you for being so flexible." [S2] What do you think is the biggest thing that you've learned after decades of studying human being... | 27.24 | 3.320124 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042661.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042662 | [S1] They were asked what's the biggest thing that they learned on, at, at working together in their life. And I'm taking notes, right? So I think that, um, I don't know. I believe in comebacks. That's it. You had a comeback. [S2] I've had multiple. Of course I do. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And I also believe in what you were ta... | 26.04 | 3.26278 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042662.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042663 | [S1] ... why it happened. [S2] Listen, I was molested as a kid. I could have became a Susan Smith. I happened to have a mother that loves me so much that, that she took this pain and believed me and, and she used to say, "Jeanine, I could drop you in a room with 100 friends, 100 strangers and you'd leave with 100 frien... | 29.72 | 3.275104 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042663.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042664 | [S1] ... my favorite thing that I learned today. [S2] Yeah, I love a good to know. [S1] That it's a good to know. That's good to know. [S2] Andrea Quinn. Andrea Quinn. Buy her a book. I don't know what it's called, but buy her a book and it's like eight, it's, Andrea Quinn, she calls them the eight Quinn essentials for... | 26.68 | 3.255505 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042664.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042667 | [S1] L-E-F-T equals trife. I left my job, I left my husband. So there's 5,000 words within a meaning, 5,000 body language. [S2] Oh my gosh. [S1] We just had a sneak peek. Hopefully something sticks. And I gotta tell you that Andrea Quinn, good to know, a game changer for me. My son Angus, his girlfriend just broke up w... | 19.2 | 3.199289 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042667.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042668 | [S1] Because it's just a good to know. [S2] Oh. [S1] I saw a side about her that I didn't know existed. So I love sharing what we learned from you, Mel Robbins, from people like the Andrea Quins of the world, and people like my mentor Jim Cavanaugh and other mentors I've had. I love sharing it with people, including my... | 25.12 | 3.380862 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042668.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042669 | [S1] Everybody. And we need to stop doubting ourselves and just start looking at the signs. And I love the other thing that you said, which is, I might be wrong, as the segue in- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... to calling out something that seems off. [S2] Yeah. [S1] One final thing. You're on a date and you really like this perso... | 24.28 | 3.378321 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042669.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042670 | [S1] In a second, to lean over that table, stretch out your hand, not a problem, Mel, it was great to see you again. Boom, get that handshake. We blow it in the ending. We blow it on the ending. So bookend that, right? So bookend it with that handshake or the hug. [S2] Okay. [S1] That's number one. | 14.36 | 3.139218 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042670.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042671 | [S1] Days with my three children with, I call them up, down, ups. Something good that happened today, something not so good, and something good that happened today. Up, down, ups. So we say, "What are your up, down, ups?" I teach my kids for every one bad thing, there's a good thing, book-ending it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] A... | 24.68 | 3.344586 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042671.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042672 | [S1] How we talk about ourselves will change our re- our actions, our body language. It goes back to that roots of the tree. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So when I take pictures, I used to take pictures of bad body language and I would show it. "Don't do this, do this," at the butt of the person with the negative body language. N... | 24.28 | 3.03852 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042672.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042673 | [S1] And that lens shift of, I am a healer, my humor is used for healing, goes back to our words, create the seeds, and then create what I believe about myself, then changes my body language and changes what I think. And so it's constantly going there. Bookend- [S2] You gotta go. [S1] ... handshakes. Bookend your hands... | 23.32 | 3.127661 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042673.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042674 | [S1] I have 30 seconds. [S2] I need a driver. [S1] Bye, everybody. Thanks, Mel. I love you. Thanks for changing the world. If you stuck around and listened to this whole interview, you know, I talk fast. I'm a Boston girl. Please re-watch it, um, and listen. And thanks, Mel, for doing what you're doing. I love you. You... | 27.16 | 3.386622 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p64_m4-dialogue_0042674.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512801 | [S1] and to support the people around you. Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, is a must read, in my opinion. This is a conversation I've been dying to have. Dr. Lisa DeMoor, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. [S2] Oh, Mel, thanks so much for having me. [S1] Oh, I'm so excited. I have so much I want to ... | 29.8 | 3.407506 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512801.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512802 | [S1] of parenting teenage daughters because I was an avid mother load reader and disciple. So thank you for your work. Um- [S2] That means so much. [S1] You have no idea what a difference it made. And when I saw that you were releasing yet another book, your latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, I thought, | 23.36 | 3.375688 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512802.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512803 | [S1] Well, what's immediately striking to me is that this applies to people of all ages, right? That- [S2] Absolutely. [S1] ... what I have noticed is that there seems to be, and I know that you write about this too, but I am constantly struck by how, um, eloquent | 22.32 | 3.45048 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512803.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512804 | [S1] It's true. I think we have run into a situation where for, for too many people, uncomfortable feels like unmanageable. [S2] Yes. [S1] That there's not a distinction between those two. And it's an important distinction because discomfort is part of life and teenagers are going to feel it, adults are going to feel i... | 17.8 | 3.184756 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512804.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512805 | [S1] ... things. [S2] I want to break apart the two reasons why you wrote the book. One being the impact that the last three years, when March 2020 dropped like a bomb on all of us and everybody's lives got turned upside down, you write extensively about the specific impact that it had on the lives of teenagers. And ju... | 29.08 | 3.37665 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512805.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512806 | [S1] ... year through college. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And we're gonna go step by step in just a minute around how, uh, the world turning upside down and going into lockdown and all of the isolation and complicated feelings that happen, how it impacted this age group specifically. But I wanna talk first about the second reas... | 29.08 | 3.57123 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512806.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512807 | [S1] Lisa, you're a genius. [S2] [LAUGHS] No. [S1] I just had this huge breakthrough because you're right. We have just painted with such a broad stroke that, you know, guilt, fear, shame, anger, upset, heartbreak, that somehow | 19.08 | 3.520935 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512807.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512808 | [S1] Wow, I love this refrain. I absolutely love it. Um, I would love to tease this out a little bit more because I think this applies to all of us. [S2] It does. [S1] How do you know when it's a normal distressing emotion versus something that you should be concerned about in either yourself or somebody else? | 26.76 | 3.595789 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512808.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512809 | [S1] That's right. So there, let's, I'm going to even tease that apart a little bit more. [S2] Awesome. [S1] So these can either get in the way, right? So mood that actually disturbs the ability to live one's life, or, and you moved in this direction, and it's such a critically important direction, what I would call co... | 20.56 | 3.385681 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512809.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512810 | [S1] ... that we keep an eye out for. [S2] I got it. Two flags, mood and costly coping. And I want to role play for a little bit if that's cool. [S1] Sure. [S2] Because I love to leave our audience in action and empowered. And everybody, you have got to go pick up this book. It is not only so enlightening, but it is ho... | 20.92 | 3.447727 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512810.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512811 | [S1] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I think the first step is to really recognize that it is working for that person, that it is serving a purpose. And you described that, right? That substances can help numb distress. They're incredibly effective at that. That's the problem with them, right? Is that they work to make pain go away... | 25.56 | 3.174543 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512811.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512812 | [S1] Hit the pause button and, and tell the truth. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That people engage in these behaviors because they work for them, which is why they become so damn defensive when you try to take them away from them. [S2] Exactly. | 15.48 | 3.442121 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512812.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512813 | [S1] If you go the route of saying, "You're a smart kid. You wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't working for you at some level," the conflict ends up in the kid or the adult that you're trying to help. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Between the part of them that doesn't want to be cutting or abusing substances or, you know, playing... | 27.72 | 3.262658 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512813.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512814 | [S1] ... that is really considering this, or there's a part of you that is in so much pain that you're resorting to cutting to feel alive, or you're in so much pain that you're smoking dope so that you can just numb out and forget about it. But there's a part of you that wants help. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And that's the par... | 25.36 | 3.482034 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512814.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512815 | [S1] I'll be the kid. [S2] Okay. [S1] So I'm sitting in my room. I've let up a big doobie. I'm smoking. I don't even know you're outside, Mom, 'cause I got my headphones on and I'm playing Minecraft and I'm just, or I'm scrolling on Instagram. I don't think you're home. Didn't hear the garage doors open. There I am in ... | 16.6 | 3.297526 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512815.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512816 | [S1] Okay. And here I come. So knock, knock, knock on the door, no answer, so I let myself in. [S2] [GASPS] [S1] Right? [LAUGHS] And I say, "Oh, buddy. Oh, buddy. You and I both know that smoking weed like this is gonna get in the way of the kind of life you wanna lead. We gotta figure out what's getting in the way if ... | 29.4 | 3.189226 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512816.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512817 | [S1] That's the goal, right? That's the goal. [S2] Now, do you leave the room? Do you just drop it like a grenade and then let that kinda settle for them? Or do you sit down on the bed? 'Cause I think we just don't know what to do. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And then we get so emotional, Lisa, that we react, which makes it worse.... | 16.32 | 3.505641 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512817.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512818 | [S1] And my tongue feels like it's filled my mouth. I can't have a conversation. [S2] I can't have a conversation. So then I think, I mean, I think you may, let's just say for the sake of argument, like, this isn't a great time to have a conversation 'cause the kid is not entirely, um, available to it. And then I think... | 29.72 | 3.114938 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512818.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512819 | [S1] But you can center yourself and realize you're trying to get on the same page with the part of them that wants to do better. And I had this visual, instead of pounding on the door, of literally like putting your arm around them. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know, like, buddy. I love that you're like, "Hey, buddy." You kn... | 26.76 | 3.495531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512819.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512820 | [S1] I was the bitch on the door knocking. And what I was trying to say is that... I was trying to say, "What you're doing isn't working." And instead, of course, I'm like, "You know, thank God you're doing yoga and all this stuff, 'cause you'd probably be dead if you weren't, but you gotta start that, that, that." You... | 29.6 | 3.416131 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512820.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512821 | [S1] But it's not helping. And so your role, and you've just made this, you are like an arrow hitting the target, Lisa. Like, this is your genius. That your job is to appeal to the greater part of them. What you're doing isn't working. And I'm here to help you figure out what could work. [S2] Exactly. [S1] Wow. | 24.64 | 3.410881 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512821.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512822 | [S1] Sure. Let me say a whole bunch of caveats first. [S2] Sure. [S1] Um, anytime we're looking at gender findings, we're looking at huge numbers. There's tremendous overlap between the genders. And then of course, we've only really studied conventional genders. We've only really studied | 17.28 | 3.271346 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512822.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512823 | [S1] And these are both actually acceptable forms of managing emotions. There's actually nothing wrong with either. But where we see trouble is if you veer to the extreme or you use that strategy all the time. That ideally- [S2] Can you give us an example of what you mean by discuss or distract? So we kind of have a kn... | 29.32 | 3.266265 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512823.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512824 | [S1] What we don't want to see is, and I'll just stay with the boy/girl. [S2] Great. [S1] Stereotypes. We don't want to see is girls who then, um, they discuss it with their friend and then they end up in a three hour conversation discussing it with their friend and then they are doing the, you know, like critical anal... | 26.92 | 3.145457 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512824.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512825 | [S1] And this is sort of a secondary finding. Girls are more likely than boys to engage in vicarious distress. Meaning if my friend's upset, now I'm upset too. [S2] Yes. [S1] So it has this like widening, you know, swath of distress. The other thing is that it threatens to termine, turn into what psychologists call rum... | 29.6 | 3.48282 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512825.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512826 | [S1] Um, because the cost to him is, number one, he's not getting the kind of social support he deserves, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Nobody knows he's in pain. Number two, he's not actually developing the fluency in verbalizing emotions that we'd like to see. The part of what happens if we go down these boy-girl paths is t... | 28.6 | 3.006051 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512826.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512827 | [S1] I think that, let me do the girl example version and then let's think bigger. [S2] Yes, let's go rumination. Yes. [S1] Let's just go right down the rumination road. So what I encourage parents and also peers to do if they're caring for a teenager who is really spinning their wheel, spinning their wheels, is to say... | 28.8 | 3.1145 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512827.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512828 | [S1] You can't be doing this so much that you now have a new situation to deal with. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Is there another way you could help yourself feel better? [S2] Hmm. [S1] Now the thing- | 9.52 | 2.96432 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512828.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512829 | [S1] ... here about boys and expression, right? Like that's really what's underneath us, is getting kids, but boys in particular, to talk about feelings, is that there's a lot caught up in why they don't talk about feelings. And, um, I would say it's one of the hardest things in parenting that I hear about, is parents ... | 26.84 | 3.123276 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512829.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512830 | [S1] And, um, and I think that's its own fascinating and complex universe. Um, to make sense of. [S2] We'll have to get back to talk about that. [S1] Okay. [S2] To make sense of, 'cause I think that's its whole 45-minute conversation, don't you? [S1] It's a big one. It's a big one and it's an important one and it can b... | 20.28 | 3.23845 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512830.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512831 | [S1] That's unbelievable. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] You're exactly right, 'cause on the receiving end of it, I feel like they've dumped the trash on me. I'm weighted down, I'm worried about it, I'm thinking about it. I just had a sleepless night the other night because of something that one of our daughters is going through, ... | 21.72 | 3.408285 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512831.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512832 | [S1] I should have taped the conversation so you heard the Def Con 10 bomb that you dropped on me. And I should probably apologize, Lisa, to my mom because I would call her- [S2] I know. [S1] ... every day from the payphone in my dorm hallway at Dartmouth, collect, to cry and complain. I don't like it here. I don't kno... | 26.8 | 3.214466 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512832.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512833 | [S1] You either hang up the fucking phone and don't call me again and get out there and make some friends, or I'm coming to pick you up the next time you call me. And you will come back home and you'll go to the community college and that'll be that. I never called her again. [S2] Hm. [S1] But then our daughters, both,... | 22.76 | 3.517108 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512833.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512834 | [S1] Yes. And, and I think that if you're worried in this interaction, you can say to your kid, "Do you want my help or do you just need to vent?" [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And, and that is often, if they say, "I just need to vent," which is overwhelmingly what they are looking for, what I would say is visualize yourself openi... | 25.08 | 3.266693 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512834.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512835 | [S1] So, I think we would go back to the, what we're doing isn't working. [S2] Okay. [S1] And we're not able to find another way. You know, that the, the things we're trying aren't helping, right? 'Cause nobody starts at a therapist, right? They try at home to make things better. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so, I think if you ... | 23 | 3.259192 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512835.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512836 | [S1] Then there's the issue of finding somebody. And this is hard. And part of what's hard about it is there's just not a lot of clinicians who specialize in caring for teenagers. And- [S2] Yeah. [S1] One thing that really never got discussed in, in the broad conversation about the adolescent mental health crisis, ther... | 28.64 | 3.064613 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512836.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512837 | [S1] Um, of kids who were otherwise very strong students. And I saw several of these. Really, as long as they were in a bricks and mortar school, could do school. And as soon as it was collapsed into a 2D space, were actually incapable. And it got me thinking, you know, this is, you can hear I get excited about the phe... | 29.88 | 3.217142 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512837.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512838 | [S1] sitting next to the kid, I said, "Next to in this class, I'm gonna focus on this class." Or that they knew that it was time to get out their notebook because everyone around them was getting out their notebook. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Or they knew that it was time to start writing down notes 'cause they're noticing peop... | 29.24 | 3.076802 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512838.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512839 | [S1] I think the best language for this is to think in terms of delay, not loss. [S2] Okay. [S1] Though there's a lot of loss. And, you know, like what your daughter is like, they lost elements of college that they're never getting back. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I think that needs to be acknowledged as exactly what it is.... | 29.8 | 3.09704 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512839.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512840 | [S1] You know, what's, how kids look academically, you know, which they, we are still seeing the aftermath academically. And I say to them, "Okay, but wouldn't it be so weird if kids didn't go to school for a year and a half and they came back and we saw no impact from that?" [S2] That's true. [S1] We would've been thi... | 27.52 | 3.149577 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512840.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512841 | [S1] I also think we've got to look for the big stuff. So we talked about suicidality. Let's just hit it head on. [S2] Yeah. [S1] 'Cause there's, it's the scariest thing. So it is true now that thoughts of suicide are actually not rare. That I don't have the statistics at my, at my fingertips, but I know that when we'v... | 27.32 | 3.074725 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512841.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512842 | [S1] But because of, and then you tell them why, right? You don't just ask randomly. You say, because you've been in your room for a day and a half, or you have not seemed like yourself, or you were so upset about that thing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I need to ask, have you had any thoughts of harming yourself or ending your ... | 24.36 | 2.982028 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512842.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512843 | [S1] What we do know, when we have researched adolescents, is if a teenager is thinking about suicide, they're glad you asked. So I think we start with the scariest thing- [S2] Wow. [S1] ... and how to address the scariest thing. And then we can go think down the line of, um, of more manageable concerns. But that is th... | 25.48 | 3.201172 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512843.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512844 | [S1] Even if it's just starting to come to the surface, it's sort of even delayed that, you know, now we're kind of through it and quote, "Back to school and back to this," that there's still this delay and there's still this hangover, so to speak- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... of the emotional experience. And, and, and I'm conv... | 19.16 | 3.3235 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512844.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512845 | [S1] But what's important about those numbers is that they were collected in the fall of 2021, asking about mood over the previous year. [S2] Oh. [S1] Yeah. That kind of got lost in a lot of the reporting. And I think that's actually a really critically important point because when I think about the fall of 2021, what ... | 18.24 | 3.36907 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512845.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512846 | [S1] entering their third school year, that was disrupted. [S2] Hmm. [S1] They were all entering their third school year. Either they were going back in masks and terrified, or not going back in masks and terrified, or, you know, still hybrid and unhappy. So it was a very particular time. So just to, um, say, like, we ... | 29 | 3.266463 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512846.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512847 | [S1] ... that- [S2] Awesome. [S1] ... I'm seeing a lot of just typical adolescents, right? Which is also rich and spicy on a good day, but it's typical, right? So- [S2] [LAUGHS] Yes. [S1] But the things I worry about, I worry about increased isolation. People spend more time away from one another. Um, I worry about eat... | 26.24 | 2.976836 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512847.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512848 | [S1] In fact, uh, it happened to our daughter. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And, um, I remember when she got into treatment, uh, for disordered eating, she ended up deleting her VSCO and her Instagram, and I don't even think TikTok was really a thing 'cause this was back in high school, so it hadn't quite exploded yet. And, uh, s... | 29.72 | 3.511842 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512848.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512849 | [S1] Um, but I do also just think if all you're looking at are ultra-thin, ultra-fit bodies and you are not going to school and looking at normal bodies in 3D- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... your sense of what bodies looks like changes and your view of your own body changes. [S2] I want to ask you a very specific question on th... | 19.8 | 3.185959 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512849.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512850 | [S1] Where is the line where it's a healthy thing versus this is now something that's scary. And I'm not, I re, I think we all know when somebody has stopped eating, when they're deteriorating in terms of their weight. But how do you, like when it, when, 'cause I miss the signs. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And kids are also remark... | 28.64 | 3.383188 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512850.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512851 | [S1] And it's not all bad. I mean, you can talk with your pediatrician and, you know, there are some teenagers who the pediatrician may say, you know, you're, this weight is not in a healthy place. You know, losing some weight would be a healthier thing to do. Then you can do that with the nutritionist and the pediatri... | 29.48 | 2.88446 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512851.mp3 | [
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