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Hi! I’m 20m and am really struggling with my anxiety, depression and of course everyone’s favorite, adhd. I have no clue what to do, I really wanted to go to school but dropped out within two weeks and now I owe a couple grand just because of that. I’ve never held a job for longer than a few months, even ones that I absolutely loved. Various reasons like, I get to a breaking point where I just can’t stand being there and make impulsive decisions like quitting. I’m constantly late no matter when I go to sleep, when I wake up, what I eat, literally seems like my body is sabotaging me. I struggle with sleep, falling asleep and oversleeping.
Ever since I dropped out of school my mental health has been worse than I think it’s ever been I think. My last job was a series of things out of my control, my stupid decisions and stress. I’ve tried all kinds of different meds but none seem to work enough to last me. I wish I could just suck it up but it seems like it just gets worse! I can’t stand the idea of doing the same thing everyday for the rest of my life, but you have to. I’m lost, so so so lost.
I struggle even looking for jobs because I stress out about how the people will treat me, how I’ll mess up and be late. WHAT DO I DO, I’m so stuck.
I have nobody but my mom but she is constantly working “because she can’t stand being home” and I can’t blame her. The rest of my family are lazy pos, I can’t imagine leaving her let alone taking care of myself! I also recognize that I still have it so much better than a lot of people, which iso fucking sad to me. I feel like my depression is permanent because my problems can’t be fizzed and I can’t help but worry about them! Sorry for rant I just literally don’t have anybody, I even fail at getting up for my therapy appointments, it’s so frustrating!
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ADHD
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Recently my OCD has gotten a lot worse. I can’t do some things because my thoughts get so bad that it hurts to do them. Today I was under so much stress..having my thoughts yelling at me and then when I finally got a break I had to have a “cool down period” where I just laid on the ground and breathed. I couldn’t really move until I was stable enough mentally. I was just laying there..unable to get myself up.
Typo in title: Me*
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OCD
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I have never posted on reddit before, but I wanted to reach out because some of your posts really have helped me feel (not better or worse, just feel) today. I'm not certain if I should trigger warn so I'm adding NSFW in case.
In February 2019 my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD due to a sexually abusive, manipulative, compulsive liar relationship I was in in 2010. It was short, but very intense and I did not go to therapy properly for it til this past November. (2018) 2018 I was in a serious relationship for the first time since that abusive relationship and so some of the things that trigger me would not have come up until then because they are related to being in an intimate relationship.
This relationship was so good and I was so excited because I felt like I learned that I could love and trust. Then for some reason, it started to become rocky and this is when my episodes really ramped up. I did not truly understand that I was having flashbacks until after it was all over but essentially this SO told me that "whatever I was doing" to address my PTSD wasn't working and that I had "lost the ability" to control my emotions and I was not as resilient as I used to be. I would get so mad and upset and irrational and he would too. After my worst flashback he did not speak to me for 2 weeks - because he needed space. (I don't blame him, but it was excruciating and I felt so much shame because I was reeling from the trigger) After the 2 weeks he broke up with me.
This all cut me to my core. Now, 7 months later, I'm finally coming out of the haze of sadness from that relationship ending. I'm in grad school for Social Work, I have my own apartment, I have two jobs and an internship. I'm doing what I wanted to do!! But I still am feeling so dejected and also really struggling to make friends because I'm nearly 30 and it's hard to make new friends but also I'm realizing, because I'm afraid to get close to people in case I have a trigger moment and they can't take it.
I don't know if anyone has any thoughts but I just feel really small and alone and I have appreciated reading your posts so I thought I would reach out.
Peace and comfort to you. <3
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ptsd
|
**Backstory**
It all started when I had gone to my mom for help with anxiety issues. Now I've known I've had anxiety for a while (as my mother and father both have been treated in the past for it - *especially* my mom), so this was nothing new to me. For most of my life, I have been able to manage it pretty well, and I don't think it's ever been so bad to the point where I couldn't handle it on my own. I have always looked at my anxiety as a bit of an annoyance in a way, rather than it being something that I'd have to "battle" with daily. Anyway, I had recently noticed that my anxiety had been acting up way more than usual. I believe that it is from me trying to juggle my school life (I'm in my junior year and they say this year is the most important/hardest year of HS), my work-life, my social life, and my overall health (I try going to the gym regularly and I also really try hard at getting enough sleep at night, as I have noticed I've been more tired than usual. I believe it's because of eating habits and/or having to wake up at 6 am on weekdays for school and 5 am on the weekends for work.) Well, we both decided that it was best for me to see a psychiatrist to help figure out what was going on and see if I could learn any tips on how I could cope with it in a better way than how I was currently coping with it at the time.
**How I Got Diagnosed**
When I went to see the psychiatrist for the first time, I had gone with both of my parents after school. They went in first to talk to her while I waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes. After my parents came out, I went in shortly after to talk to her by myself. She asked me if I knew why I was visiting her, and I told her that it was because I had been feeling anxious lately. She then told me to describe it to her and all that type of stuff, so we can just skip over that. She then says that she will ask me a list of yes or no questions and that for each question I would answer yes to, I would have to go in-depth and explain each one of my answers thoroughly. She also explains to me that for my answer to qualify as a yes, I would have to do the things asked by the question intentionally and not deliberately (if that doesn't make sense, it will once you read what each question is.) So she starts to ask me questions along the lines of "Are you a forgetful person?", "Are you disorganized?", "Do you feel that it is difficult to stay interested in something that you would like to have interest in?", etc. So pretty much just the most blatant and typical ADHD questions there are. The funny part about this though, is that I didn't even catch on to what she was actually quizzing me about. I think she kept looking at me, expecting me to realize what these questions were really trying to determine, but I think I was so caught up in explaining how much I had related to each one of them that I didn't notice. Anyway, we finish the test and she asks me what she thinks I was just quizzed on. I responded with, "Uh... what do you mean?" She kinda laughed to herself and then explained to me that what she quizzed me on wasn't for anxiety, it was for ADHD. And according to her, I had answered 18/20 questions (including the "in-depth" part) with extreme similarity to typical ADHD behavior. I was absolutely in shock at what I had just heard. I couldn't stop thinking to myself about how much it made sense, as I have always been known as "the most energetic kid you know", but at the same time I doubted it, and I still do from time to time. A reoccurring thought that comes into my head is usually something similar to "How could I have never known about this until now? Shouldn't I have been diagnosed at a way younger age than 17? I've always thought that my energy, forgetfulness, disorganization, and whatever else were just me being me, but now I know it's something that can be treated?" Even writing out that thought still makes me doubtful about the diagnosis but whatever, back to the story. Anyway, The psychiatrist decided to prescribe me 10mg of Adderall, which has since been bumped up to 20mg as of writing this.
**My Adderall Prescription**
*(Most Concerning Topic/Most Needed Advice/Assurance On)*
When I took Adderall (10mg) for the first time, I had arrived at school right when I "felt it start to work". I put that in quotation marks because the 10mg really didn't help me focus at all, instead all I had noticed was that my body had felt a little less jittery and I had felt a small calmness. Not calm in a focused way, but calm in an almost drowsy/sleepy way. Now in no way was I sleepy at all, but I felt like I could take a nap at any time if I wanted to. The best way I could describe it is to imagine that you are walking in a very populated area - for example, New York City - and suddenly everyone disappeared. You wouldn't feel that same energy or excitement of being in New York anymore, but instead, you would most likely be experiencing feelings of calmness and serenity; so pretty much all of the emotions triggered when "noise" goes away. This feeling made me have a panic attack during my first-period class. I was already extremely nervous about taking the Adderall in the first place, as I know what it pretty much was in essence, had no clue of how it would affect me, was already doubting having ADHD (pretty much thought it would mess my brain up and whatever), and knew that it is a serious drug people get addicted to VERY easily. Luckily, no one knew I was absolutely freaking the fuck out, and the panic attack shortly went away, as I had started to teach myself to like the experience throughout the day. Besides having that "calming effect", I was still finding myself bouncing my legs, getting out of my seat to walk around, blurting out random things in class, excessively talking to friends during class, not focusing, etc. After a week of trying it out, I soon stopped noticing any of the effects it had on me at all (which I'm guessing is normal considering is a minuscule dose). So as any normal person would do, I bumped up the dose to 20 mg, and so far so good. I have definitely been focusing better than I had been before, and I feel like I'm on top of my work but none of the effects it has had on me (calmness, slight dizziness, delayed reactions) to be common with other people at all, and some effects don't even show up when I try to look for answers on Google. Some effects that I personally ***don't*** experience but seem to be very common among other people include: loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, dry mouth, energy, self-confidence, and euphoria, just to name a few. On some days, I can't even remember if I took the Adderall or not because I don't feel focused or my usual "side effects" at all. On other days, I can almost feel it kick in and then be extremely focused throughout the entire day.
**What I Ask From You**
All of this is very confusing and new to me, and I'm pretty concerned for my health as I don't know if Adderall is the right choice for me, as it seems like I'm the only one who experiences those effects and there's no explanation for them. I'm still doubting if whether or not I should even believe my diagnosis as well, so the medication is still a *very* iffy concept to me. I also would like to mention that I feel like the Adderall is helping me focus **better than I have before**, but it definitely seems like I *could* and I *should* be way more focused than what it's making me right now. If I'm not mistaken, other people can sit down and work for multiple hours on end when taking Adderall. For me, I sometimes have that "drive" feeling that makes me focus on what I'm working on for maybe a max of 2 hours, but it's never consistent throughout the week, and even if I somehow do get that feeling, I'll get distracted by someone/something and then it becomes extremely hard to get back in the groove of focusing. I don't know what Adderall should feel like, and I don't understand what I'm experiencing with it. I'm worried that if I up the medication, my potentially unknown/harmful side effects will get worse and put my health at risk. I'm also a 17-year-old kid in high school with a bunch of Adderall, and with that is a lot of trust and responsibility. And lastly (I don't know if this is a possibility or not) but I feel like I could easily get addicted to Adderall without me even noticing. I really do believe that it's helping me immensely, as it has changed my work ethic and allowed me to focus better than I ever have in school, but I don't think its working to its full potential or even working correctly for me, which is why I believe there are underlying problems going on that I can't leave alone.
If you are reading this and have an answer, please help me/reassure me, as I feel very alone in this.
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ADHD
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Guys, do you sometimes feel like your friends eventually get tired of you? Like, people love your “hyper” personality but later on are just annoyed by it and eventually drift away?
I feel like this happens every so often to me and it makes me really sad. I’m aware I have emotional dysregulation, but also I feel like my ADHD hinders my connections a bit.
Just wondering if anyone shared this feeling, had any tips on how to handle it, etc
Edit:
Yes bot, I saw you and changed it.
Edit 2:
Just to talk a little bit more about my problem here. I’m very sociable and connect to people on a deeper level easily. I’ve had multiple friendships that started quickly and soon became very close, but, on multiple occasions I’ve felt that, after the initial excitement of meeting someone new died out, many of those new closer friends I’ve made began to shut me down. I feel like I’m thrilling to have around when it’s a new friendship because I’m so energetic and hyper. I get super invested in the friendship and will talk to people for hours on end about our shared interests. But my energy never really goes down. I don’t have the capacity to chill. I’m hyper through and through and a year later I feel people just get tired of having me around. As if they were expecting me to “be more normal” after a while.
It breaks my heart cause it’s not something I can change about myself. I am diagnosed with ADHD, I’ve talked about this to my therapist and psychiatrist, and I am really trying my best to not let this happen so much.
But right now I just feel sad and lonely, and I wanted to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
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ADHD
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I always seek out content online that I know will greatly upset me.
I also concentrate on painful memories and relive my trauma step by step, plus other interactions with my abuser. Which is confusing and painful because some of them were positive.
Sometimes I get unwelcome memories that intrude my mind out of nowhere, but what I’m describing is deliberate on my part. I may start out just a little upset but I then I start thinking about it and digging up the past in detail.
I don’t know why I do this. I wonder if it’s emotional self-harm. I may be getting something out of this that I cannot describe. I don’t know
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ptsd
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I'm reading a lot of self-improvement books at the moment and they all talk about the importance of being authentic, embracing your quirks and turning up as your full self.
But, with aspergers, I don't feel like that's possible? I still feel the need to mask myself to some extent in order to be perceived as normal?
Has anyone else struggled with this? I really don't know where to draw the line. I have some quirky interests which I'm trying not to downplay anymore but I also know that when I feel comfortable about them, I tend to infodump to an insane degree. And with body language and everything, I just feel that it's obvious that I am ND?
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aspergers
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So I may be going on medication soon but I really would like to know what to expect specifically for reaction sensitivity dyphoria and emotional disregulation should I expect it to help at all? Those are the main two reasons I would even go on medication and my therapist suggested meds after me talking about my emotional distress but I feel like if I asked this when I have my appointment to get medication they will just tell me its different for everyone (which yes I know) but I just want a simple "maybe" lol
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ADHD
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I had some sexual trauma growing up and it’s messing up my life now. I can’t be sexual at all now because every time I get asked, I shut it down because I get this fear. I don’t even know why I’m scared but it hits me like panic and anxiety. And when I’ve done stuff in the past, I’ve basically had to force myself. Im in a relationship so every time I say no is a hard rejection to my partner.
How do I get help for this? I’m going to be starting therapy for PTSD, is this something I could bring up with them?
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ptsd
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M26 - Lots of times when I have a couple of days off I get up in the morning, do something, think I could just lay back down to get in a nap and I’m out until 9pm. I just realized that I did not eat since yesterday 8pm. It’s now 11pm and I did not eat anything yet. I also don’t feel hungry. I just realized it.
I don’t feel motivated to do anything. Nothing whatsoever. I don’t know what’s wrong. I often think about how nice it would be to just sleep until I’m dead. Just so I don’t have to do anything. So that I don’t have to deal with anything or anybody else.
I thought a lot about assisted suicide or just suicide in general in the past couple months. Yesterday I was listening to music at the train station when the train came in. I stared at my phone, heard the train, looked up and thought “ooh shit if I would’ve realized earlier that a train was coming I could’ve ended it right here.” Then I thought how stupid I was to just realize that now.
I’m incredibly unmotivated and I don’t know what’s wrong.
Did anybody else experience things like this before and figure out the reason?
To be honest I’m not sure if I’m depressed or not. I just don’t see any reason to live.
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depression
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I’ve done everything in my power to make my reality change… and it hasn’t. I’m tired of watching people live my dream, put in the work and get results and me just keep spinning my wheels. I haven’t had a good year since 2015. 2020 was my best year and we were in a global pandemic. In 4 months I’m supposed to have my surgery to get my loose skin removed. I don’t think I’m going to make it. I can’t turn to alcohol or smoking. I can’t do anything except workout, eat right and work. I hate my reality and I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t see a point in being alive anymore. Fuck this
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depression
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I was tortured and wrongly imprisoned in my country for 7 years.
I talk to therapists and at points they look like they are about to cry when I’m explaining my trauma.
All the psychiatrists involved with helping me tell me they don’t know what to do for my situation.
I don’t know if anyone else could give me some supporting advice if they have been a victim of severe repeated trauma.
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ptsd
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I got diagnosed with PTSD and general anxiety last week. I never thought that would be my diagnosis honestly, because I never found myself relating to anyone's PTSD stories. I struggle the most with derealization, so I was wondering if anyone experiences the same thing.
I can't recognize my face, my voice or body when looking at my hands or limbs. It seems like I'm staring at a stranger. Nothing feels real, everything feels like I'm living in a dream state. It forces me to completely separate myself from the moment or task I'm in, and I can't stop focusing on how much I don't feel real. This has caused me a lot of distress, and this is a daily battle as well. Some days are better but others feel like rock bottom. It feels like a shitty 2003 first person video game.
There's also a visual aspect to my derealization, it's like someone put a white filter over my vision or turned up the overexposure, and I get really bad tunnel vision and it's incredibly difficult to focus on things physically around me.
I know everyone is different, but I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences something similar? Because my psychiatrist connected it back to my PTSD. Thank you :)
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ptsd
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I am having a hard time deciphering whether a thought is part of my personality, belief system, general outlook on life, or whether it’s an intrusive thought. I am so inundated with thoughts that sometimes I start to believe certain things about myself, and conflate myself with my OCD self.
If a situation arises where I have a ridiculous thought, I think maybe I am just a moron. Can’t blame it all on OCD. But then think calling myself a moron is probably also just my OCD. And it goes in this vicious cycle. Constantly doubting myself.
My OCD brain is always tryna tell myself that I’m undeserving, and something bad is on the horizon. So I hyperfocus on stupid thoughts or bad qualities that could just be a manifestation of OCD, and convince myself maybe that’s just me.
But how much of these intrusive thoughts can we separate ourselves from? I don’t want to hate myself.
And then obsessing over obsessing. Even by posting something on this group, now am afraid is gonna exacerbate my ocd.
I want to understand myself better as a person. Hard to know who you really are when so much of your mental domain seems co-opted by a foreign entity.
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OCD
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I'm always just there,
Everyday I see you, I wonder how, why, and where.
All of you, characters in this play,
Another set I get to see today.
​
I can't relate, I'm always just there.
I don't even have the energy to pretend, I'm trying to find a reason to care.
No one understands, I'm tired of only caring for myself.
Automated goblins on the highest shelf.
​
Searching endlessly for a reason why,
Not an ounce of consistency, wasting my time.
Endless smiles, laughs, and cheers,
Meanwhile I've been wasting away all these years.
Tired of feeling like nothing, like I'm just there.
Will this be the one to finally care?
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aspergers
|
I got diagnosed at 17, ive dealt with ocd and especially the intrusive weird thoughts my whole life. I always thought those are my actual thoughts that represent what i want and who i am because sometimes i would actually enjoy them? How do i tell apart my actual thoughts from intrusive thoughts? And why do i feel like i actually enjoy certain nasty intrusive thoughts? Am i just messed up?
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OCD
|
I cleared out my families old shed a few months ago and found it really satisfying and helps calm down my ADHD being outside and doing practical things with my hands. However since making the shed usable I have not done anything with it, other than just sit in it one or two times.
I really want to do something that gives me an excuse to go in to the shed but I need advice on what to do. My brain really struggles with setting and thinking of realistic projects. I start trying to think of projects and within 5 minutes my brain is fixating on how I'm going to organise giveaways of my projects to the followers of some Instagram I would have started for my projects for some reason..
So do you have any advice for simple easy projects that and ADHD mind can complete with out getting carried away or overcomplicating everything to the point of never starting?
I've got a variety of random tools passively gathered from grandfathers and fathers most of which I nether know the name of nor the use of. So low tech/low complexity would be nice.
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ADHD
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When I was younger I did weird things with my cousins and sometimes siblings now it was consintual and I deeply regret it and would never do it again we were all around the same age group at the time
And now my
Mind is saying I’m a pedophile i know I would never date a kid or try to have sex with a kid but this is scary man
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OCD
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ive been okay recently and only this morning saw a video on a tiktok trend where people touch their pets (which is awful, i hate tiktok) which made me think, have i ever done something like that? i know now i dont want to hurt my dog but im scared that in the past my thoughts were different even though i dont remember hurting my dog. ive been doing good but this made me feel awful again. i just really need advice on what to do now. any support would be greatly appreciated.
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OCD
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I haven't been diagnosed with OCD but I have been diagnosed with GAD and PMDD, take medication, but I can't deny that I have OCD tendencies. I feel like people will think I'm nuts for this but I can't seem to stop buying a different shampoo every week or so. I try it once or twice, I don't like it, then search again. I am embarrassed to tell how much I have; I don't even know how much I have, actually. It's like I'm never satisfied with how my hair is; it has a mix of textures, wavy-not-quite-curly, it is long, looks dry and fizzy, etc. Ever since my Mama died I have been wanting to buy things just for the heck of it, this is one of them.
I hope this thread is appropriate for here; I'm never happy with anything, life feels empty and boring.
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OCD
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I’ve been depressed since the start of highschool. I’m now 19 and I’ve still not gotten used to the daily mental strain. Fuck.
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depression
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Like ill explain myself in abit more detail. Im 20 have aspergers syndrome(which im not bother by) and i was diagnosed with OCD at 14. I have had many themes of ocd from when i was 14 like HOCD,TOCD, POCD, FALSE MEMORY OCD and my main one straight up transforming into a different personality or identity OCD if you could call it that. Before then i very certain of what i felt, loved girls and even though i didnt mind gay people, i just thought to myself "women are so damm beautiful how is it possible". I never questioned my gender identity before that or felt like the opposite gender, i would crease at 'girly' things, i have effeminate features like long nails and long eyelashes but never thought deepily about it. I loved superheroes, videogames, performing arts and all that. My stepmom from 11 to 14 mentally abused me which kind of started my first theme of "i am a bad person". Now i look back at the abuse and my mind is telling me i liked it which if you seen it back then i most certainly didnt. She used to criticize my mom infront of me and my sister and i was always very angry and clenched my fists when she done that, now my mind is telling me it was justified when it really wasnt. There was a videogame i liked so much and then i thought of " i dont like (insert thing here)" and now its like i dont like it now just from the flick of a switch and i avoid it because the bad vibes that were put on it by my mind will associate itself with my initial good thoughts and make them bad. Sorry if this is weirdly structured im not the best at these. The thing im trying to is now my OCD has turned into the dominant personality and my old self is slowly evapourating every thought i get which links with what i dont want to become. Changing an opinion with just forming a sentence isnt supposed to be natural isnt it, idk anymore, i find it hard to distuingish thoughts from reality.
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OCD
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DAE know when it’s an OCD episode and there’s nothing to be afraid of but you’re still anxious and you don’t feel like resuming your normal tasks with those thoughts in your head and you feel super guilty if u do. like how can you proceed with ur daily life? it means ur fine being like that
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OCD
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Can someone please market assisted living homes for people with ADHD?
Can you imagine living in a community of people with ADHD where there's a schedule and people helping you stick to it? Regular feeding times, group activities, bed time, therapy. Some sort of house keeping to make sure my floors don't get gross.... Sounds like heaven.
I would gladly pay for this, and a lot. I think this is a zillion dollar idea, feel free to steal it if you hook me up with a discount room.
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ADHD
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I grew up unaware of my diagnosis, which led to some pretty extreme bullying from my peers and my family as well. To cope, I taught myself social cues using YouTube and studied psychology to better understand how to “function normally”. Now I’m 19 and I’m exhausted from constantly having to monitor my facial expressions, tone, eye contact, etc. I feel stuck because every time I unmask even just a little bit, people look at me funny or tell me to tone it down. It hurts knowing others would rather me be burnt out from filtering myself rather than just understanding that my brain is a little bit different. I wish I had autistic friends.
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aspergers
|
Hey guys. I've only recently started to realise I've had adhd my entire life, and it's honestly been overwhelming how much stuff makes sense now. So I'm sorry if I'm a bit confused about one thing or another, or if I ramble too much.
I've never been very good at traditional jobs. Once real stressors start to appear I start to fuck up because I get so anxious and confused and can't keep track. My last job was right until the pandemic and it was kind of traumatic. A very toxic work environment, I was told I was incapable to my face, we had to work unpaid weekends, boundaries or free time were frowned upon, etc. Despite all this, I had managed to develop a system of strict lists, stayed super organised so I wouldn't lose files, wrote down as much stuff as I could. So when I got fired, that all kind of went to shit.
I've been freelancing since, and even though I've been able to live off it so far it's become increasingly obvious how awful I am at managing my own tasks and my own time. It's better in a sense because at least I don't have to answer to a boss when I'm having a really bad day, but worse because I lack structure and have no idea how to build it anymore. I either can't focus so end up procrastinating, or work wayyy too much. It doesn't help that my main source of income sucks. The woman I work with has zero boundaries and the company takes full advantage of the fact that I'm freelance so paid by the hour. I get huge tasks sent on Friday evening that they want by Monday, or request big changes at 6PM to be sent by the morning. This lady is a complete workaholic, one of those overzealous people for whom work is THE thing. I hate it but I can't drop her because I haven't been able to find anything else.
I tried finding a remote job, but my country is notoriously anti-WFH and most companies have gone back to the office. I absolutely don't want to do that anymore because I think it's a waste of time and money. Unfortunately, there's just not a lot of offers in my line of work, especially right now.
How do you guys manage? Have you found a magic tool to make it OK? Is it just a bad idea to be working freelance? I couldn't stand to give up the freedoms that I do have from it, but I'm tired all the time, my boyfriend is mad at me because I work all day and "refuse to get a normal job", I just feel like I'm put in a corner and idk what to do.
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ADHD
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Do any of you have compulsions where thoughts get mixed up and you wonder what you thought (because if you thought ___ then your fear must’ve happened).
I don’t want to trigger anyone but I’m wondering if this is even OCD or is something else at this point. Every day I think I’ve gotten to the end (would still have intrusive thoughts at the “end” but they’d be a 10/100 rather than 100/100 in terms of anxiety).
Then it comes back. I don’t know what to do. I keep wondering what I thought and it’s a lot to handle. Some of my tags have expired but sometimes they come back.
If I just stop this, then will it get worse again or what?
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OCD
|
For those who have children... how do you cope with the constant sensory onslaught of little ones?
To lower the intensity, I’ll engage them, distract them, redirect them. And provide objects for that trio of efforts.
For me, I take solitude breaks and walks, use decibel-reduction earbuds (with or without audio), focused breathing and muscle relaxation, and the poor choices are moar caffeine, moar sugar.
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aspergers
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Hi all, for the past week I’ve been fixated on a specific brain tumor again. Health anxiety has been my most recent obsession and I was fixated on this brain tumor last month and went through a scare where I thought I had it. I calmed down for a few weeks and was anxiety free but now the fear has been back for the past week and it’s just horrible. I think it’s even worse than last time. I’ve become extremely fixated on my eyes because I read that a sudden lazy eye is a symptom. I’ve taken over 1000 photos of my eyes this week to see if they look different. I literally can’t stop. I take at least 10 photos an hour and compare them to the first photos I took to see if my eyes have changed. If I notice anything slightly off I start to panic and cry. And I’ll reassure myself that my eyes look normal and they look the same as they did a few days ago and I’ll feel okay for a few minutes but then the cycle starts again. It’s so exhausting and people have started to notice. Im trying to set small goals for myself to try and take less photos every day but it’s hard. And I know I can’t magically contract some illness because I read about it but that’s what my anxiety wants me to think.
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OCD
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I found out one of the people (the biggest part anyway my niece) is leaving. I've been trying to strong and be happy but now I don't know if I ask her to stay for what what do o have to offer her (my niece) for the last 18 years I've been only stopped myself because I don't want to hurt her I kept going because she has a sister how I love to so much and a younger brother but only the two girls I keep fighting for and one never around as much as as the one who's leaving I've been telling myself she needs to grow up and move on but how do I how do I???
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depression
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Did you have unpleasant side effects?
Is there a specific medicine you would recommend?
Are there other things that help you sleep?
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ptsd
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Like the title says, how can you tell? With chores around the house, I know they have to get done but I just don't do them a lot of the time. All I do is sit at my computer and play games and watch YouTube videos.
I guess I can't tell if I'm not doing them be cause I'm fighting depression or if I'm just using depression as an excuse to not do the chores.
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depression
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I should probably start by saying that i am not officialy diagnosed. I supose it's just... not a thing in my country, and especially city. Also i don't have many symptoms of the disorder, but still have this: http://ipic.su/img/img7/fs/TestEng.1636204286.jpg So idk if it's the thing that turned my life into torture, or there is something else. But anyway...
I feel like i have no place in this world. Very few stuff i can do, no people i can iteract with in a way that would be meaningful to me.
Since certain age i stopped going out for various reasons - physical disability causes pain after any physical activity, also i hate cities and already explored mine when i was a child. So i don't meet people irl.
My only major interest is fiction, especially - stories in video games. I am both consuming and writing them. Also i love inventing gameplay mechanics (mostly to compliment those stories and make them more immersive). Few other things that might be nice are unavailable, everything else is very boring or impossible for me to understand. When it comes to creating stories (or analyzing stories made by others in search for flaws and ways to improve them) everyting comes naturally to me, i understand every aspect of them and what should i do to make them perfect.
However, in everything else i am beyond retarded. Many complicated things i just can't grasp, so i always need simplified explanations. I can't pass the iq test because i can't figure out a single question. I also can't solve many puzzles in games and need walktroughs. I can't understand many things that seem obvious for other people, and will have hard time figuring out what should i do without step-by-step manuals. And as if that was not enough my mind tends to randomly forget things, almost always - those that i do not find interesting, and it makes me unable to learn almost anything since i will just forget it a bit later.
Ironically, i feel like the world around me is a madhouse. People disregard logic and reason, and use various traditions, norms, religions, and other made-up rules to justify their behavior and choices. Quite often they do things just because other told them to, without trying to ask why they should. And if i ask - other people only gettin angry instead of explaining, same if i tell them that i disagree with they way things should be done. So i can't decide if it's the society that is stupid, or me, or both.
But that would not matter to me, if i could just quietly enjoy doing my job by creating new worlds till the day i die. Sadly, majority of the developer are not interested in their stories being top-quality, and their gameplay mechanics being innovative, and the others will never read pitch from an outsider since they always have some friends or friends of friends to do that for them. And since i do not have a gift of charisma to persuade others to look at my concepts, after 17+ years of attempts and thousands of letters sent with zero sucsess i have to give up on idea of having job i would enjoy.
I still write the stories, because there is nothing else for me to do in life, but they have no purpose. Publishing them would be a waste since only a few people would ever be interested in reading scripts, and it would also instantly destroy their value. Since i was a kid i always dreamed about meeting someone who would share my passion, but... it just does not work out for some reason. When i go into various gaming communities, i find out that not much people are into games i like, and those who are... well, we could not form any lasting discussion about it. I tried various writing communities, even ones dedicated directly to game writing, but nobody ever responded to my suggestion to talk about stories and maybe write some together. And i also found nobody else looking for same things there, most people were just promouting something they did or searching for jobs. I also tried general communication places, like dating sites, forums of general thematics, etc. Only 2 or 3 times someone ever replied to my posts\profiles or messages. It did not work out since i have no idea what to say to the people who are not into same stuff i am. I often have a roommates living in same appartment, but in years we never having any conversations because thing that other people enjoy so much, random banters about random things - i am not interested in that and can't initiate it.
I envy people for lots of things - ability to visit or live in beautiful places, ability to touch attractive people, ability to create beautiful things, ability to understand complicated things, ability to eat tasty food, ability to have more pets, but most of all - ability to speak about things most important for you with someone who adores the same thing you do. Why aren't people interested in that? I am not even looking for super-nerdy convos full of professional terms (since i don't even know those terms), just something casual like, maybe, this for example: (https://www.reddit.com/r/RDR2/comments/k0qebg/just_finished_the_game_some_thoughts_about_it_and/), but i rarely have people answering me anything in such posts. Writing stories or designing gameplay together? That now seems impossible to me. The world is so big and full of things but... at the same time so empty for me. Sometimes i see things that i wanted to expirience in my dreams and so disappointed to wake up. Maybe i would already chose to stop living, but i need to take care for my cats. But with every year it gets harder since the world constantly reminds me about all the things i will never have just because i was born somehow inadeqwate. So many people have someone close, can it be that people like me just do not exist at all? I already lived trough majority of my life, what are the chances that something will ever change? After so many years of asking for help and doing things suggested by people but not having any sucsess i am just so tired of everything. Maybe here someone has the same obsession with game stories as i do?
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aspergers
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Im so scared im gonna have a panic attack, im scared of seeing visual disortions and okay, i was in the car and i dont know if it was sunny and i was looking at the sun, i dont know if it was just my brothers red sweateror his moms red shirt bc they were in the car with me and i dont know if it was the glare of my glasses but i was on my phone and it was placed on my thighs and then i start to see like red in the corners of my eyes so both of my eyes saw red and i dont want to have psychosis idk if thats a visual disortion
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OCD
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Lol idek. I want to work, I want to make money, move out and meet new people. I’m not TOO bad with talking to people , I just can’t hold a conversation after 5 minutes. My mind just goes blank and Idk what to say. But I’m just so terrified to get out there. I live under section 8 and live at home with parents. (I’m 21) . I tried doordash a couple of times and it was overwhelming. I work here and there under the table with my uncle doing construction but he’s usually doing all the work cause he doesn’t trust me with the major part of the job. I feel like I suck at learning new things and having huge responsibilities. Anyway, does anyone else have this problem ? & if so how do you cope with getting out there and doing things outside your comfort zone? Please let me know .
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aspergers
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uh...hi, whoever reads this. this is my first post, unfortunately it had to be here. maybe fortunately. disclaimer, it is very long.
23/afab/ace (important, was ace but not repulsed before the trauma.) i was recently diagnosed by my therapist and psychiatrist with ptsd. i also have had hallucinations for 3 years after quitting a medication i shouldnt have quit cold turkey when i was a teen. we all make mistakes some worse than others.
in the beginning of august, i was raped by somebody i met through my friend's dnd group. maybe was around him once or twice while hanging out with her. my friend, whose house was the grounds for dnd and partying, had a get together with all the members and the dm and invited me too.
plenty of alcohol- im anorexic (ask before attacking, please) and 7 or 8 shots in.
out comes a cartridge of DMT. i have had bad experiences with psychedelics but my inebriated brain was quickly explained that it would only be 30 minutes, an hour max.
everybody left except for me, the friend, and him. we all did our respective puffs. my first time doing DMT. not either of theirs. no...safety of a tripsitter.
he took advantage, she told him "don't tell them they're okay, ask them" but somehow watched on as he violated my bodily autonomy to the point i bled for 2 days. witnessed and did not stop despite my half conscious protests and whines. my eyes were closed the whole time because i was terrified what the dmt would have made me see, but all i could really feel was...pain endlessly.
after, she spent two months gaslighting me by telling me there was alcohol and drugs involved, so something was bound to happen- this was her norm, apparently, in friend grounds. i was told im a minefield that is impossible to navigate without stepping on a bomb, that she has to walk on eggshells and most of all; she told me to just deal with it, because it was pointless to keep...talking in circles.
inevitably, i blocked everybody. it ended in the reason why i am writing this post. my psyche is damaged, with auditory and visual triggers at an all time high and i am no longer a functioning member of society whatever that even means.
i'm struggling to find support right now. my family doesn't want me to bring it up because "it already happened," the only one who listens to me cry and shudder and fall apart is my mom because she knows what it's like. but i can't put that all on her.
i am on 300mcg Neurontin currently to help the ptsd and 4mg Xanax.
i think im really just looking for somebody to tell me im not crazy. i am so sex repulsed that i cant be in intimate situations with my partner, i am having horrible explosive responses to things and i am out of control when they happen like im stuck behind my eyeballs looking out and yelling "THIS ISN'T ME!!!"
ugh. if you've made it this far, thank you. im very lost and in need of some guidance.
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ptsd
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Hi guys.
Quick context I am 8 months into a very severe depressive episode. Recently, I feel like I have this pain in my brain or some weird nagging feeling that just won’t go away. I feel like I need to rip something out of my head that just isn’t physically there. I don’t get it. What the hell is going on? Anyone?
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OCD
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Does anyone else experience depression (at least occasionally) with a literal depression feeling, as if the brain is caving in on itself? It's like an achy, shriveling kind of pain, but not a headache.
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depression
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Is it just me? Or does everybody in here do this?
So, when you and a group of people regardless of environment (school, work, meetings, family gatherings, etc.) gathers together whether it be 5 people or 20 people, when they have a conversation going on, do you find yourself focusing on something totally different than what 99% of the group focuses on during their conversation? So let say when they’re talking about a topic and everyone needs to comment and input something, everyone in the group continues with the trend while you comment on something that either seems so trivial to the topic or something that feels very unrelated to the topic but you feel it is related.?
Also, sometimes when people are having conversations whether it be casual or serious, my mind would just be thinking of jokes (to myself and not telling it out loud if the setting is inappropriate.)
Sorry for my sentence structures, it’s hard to type correctly sometimes while trying to maintain a coherent train of thoughts. Thanks.
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ADHD
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I’m mad at him for ruining so many parts of my life.
I’m mad that I didn’t turn him in.
I’m mad that he’s still out there, enjoying his fucking life.
I’m just so upset and it’s coming out in a form of anger.
And THAT makes me mad, too, lol.
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ptsd
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I was recently diagnosed with OCD and my physiatrist insists I go to therapy for anxiety. I told her I’m not really struggling with anxiety and she said I must be if I have ocd. the issue is I really don’t think I’m an anxious person. In the moments I struggle with ocd it’s really based around a feeling or incomplete sensation and not an anxious thought. I’ve had panic attacks and terrible anxiety for 3 months once in my life when I was accidentally taking double my dose of thyroid medication but that resolved as soon as I realized and adjusted my dose. Before and after that time though I’ve never really had anxiety and always been pretty level headed and calm. I do get a terrible, frustrated urgent sensation when preforming ocd compulsions but I wouldn’t call it anxiety really. Am I bad at perceiving anxiety and misunderstand it? Or can you have ocd without anxiety? I’m new to all of this and could really use some input :)
Edit to note that the reason I’m seeing a psychiatrist is to manage my ADHD and Tourette Syndrome. I am open to seeing a therapist but I’m just unsure about the therapy she’s thinks I need. She’s pushing for anxiety group therapy.
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OCD
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Okay so with ASD/Aspergers, we tend to be incredibly fixated on specific interests, allowing us to retain large amounts of information easily regarding those specific interests.
Would it be possible to push yourself to purposely adopt something as an interest for the purpose of activating that ability to retain information? For example, could I purposely push myself to make politics my “autism interest”? Or are these interests out of our control?
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aspergers
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I ruminate about my past a lot and I stress and worry over some thoughts that pop into my head. I then think of how irrational some of it sounds and that helps a bit. I then try to tidy up my room and my life around me to lower the complexity in my head. Thoughts just suck. It gets especially worse when I smoke weed which I admit I have been doing. I'm quite high in trait neuroticism.
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OCD
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psychiatrist just prescribed me Seroquel. Picking it up tomorrow, anyone have an experience with seroquel? What should i expect, from what i have seen online it sounds horrible.
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depression
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So far in all 19 years of living, I've lived a life full of many setbacks due to this disorder. Missed out on so many chances and opportunities yada yada. 🗣️
But what really sets me back is being conscious of ADHD as a whole. I hate to admit it and I've done a lot of convincing otherwise for a while, but I've used ADHD as an excuse. Even if it wasn't obvious or even if I didn't realize, but I would use it as a fleeting and subtle excuse like a whispering voice in my head controlling my actions from back stage, a ticket passed on behind curtains to allow certain behaviour because of my condition.
So I wonder, if I hadn't known or ever heard of ADHD would I take the situations I've gotten into more seriously and not stamp it as an "ADHD thing"? I guess I'll never know.
I'm doing my best here to try to really capture and visualize what I mean, but I'm tired, it's 5am and I should probably try to sleep for a few hours. Good night/Morning all.
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ADHD
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Especially with everything that’s going on in the world, what is the point of staying alive? I’ll never truly be happy. I’ll never get to do the things I want to do or live the life that I want. My life is just sadness, stress, and loneliness. It will only get worse with age, and before I know it I’ll be filled with regret. I should just end things early. I don’t have any plans since I don’t want to hurt my parents, I’m a coward, I don’t truly want to die and I guess I have an ounce of hope left. But when I look at things from a realistic perspective I’m really just elongating my suffering.
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depression
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TL;DR temporarily off health insurance and trying to get my prescription refilled at the lowest cost possible
So I was prescribed adderall (well, generic amphetamine haha) a few months ago. I hadn't really expected it to work so well, but it's really made a huge difference in both my day to day life & mental health.
Unfortunately, I aged out of my parents' insurance this past October. I have a few pills left, but we're getting down to the wire. I'm not dependent and don't think I'll have any withdrawal issues, but I really don't want to go back to being so painfully unproductive and feeling bad about it.
I've been working on getting my own insurance since I don't get it through work. But I don't qualify for medicade and it's really expensive. Trying to find a plan that will get me my meds and not break the bank is taking a lot of time and research - especially considering I didn't even know what a deductible was before all of this haha.
I'm hoping to just get one more refill before settling on a plan. But I don't know the best way to go about it. I know I'll have to pay out of pocket for everything. But I'm not sure who to see that will refill it without paying $300 for a one time psych visit.
Should I call around and find a primary doctor? A therapist? A low cost psych? Are there any alternatives solutions I'm missing here? I know that stimulant prescriptions are pretty strict on seeing a medical professional for each refill, and I have every intention of seeing someone who can help monthly once I have insurance. But in the meantime I'd really like to get this filled again. Without it I'm not sure I'll ever find the motivation to actually get the insurance lol.
Hope all of this makes sense and that someone has a solution for me!
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ADHD
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I (40m) have ADHD. I just realized it in the last two years. It’s been a struggle but I’ve figured out how to deal with it in my own ways. I’m not on any medication. One of my daughters (18F) has been diagnosed and tried a couple medications.
My son (8) definitely struggles with ADHD and I’ve been resistant to any kinds of medication. I really embrace ADHD as a valuable thing that has had positive trade offs in my life.
Yet I see my son struggling with so many of the problems focusing that I had and the negative consequences that come with it. He’s incredibly self aware for his age. He says things like “sometimes my brain just has trouble focusing”. I’m thinking of getting him some medication that he can try and choose whether to take if he thinks it helps him. If I can spare him some of the more severe consequences of untreated ADHD I feel like I should.
Has anyone had experience with meds and children that age?
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ADHD
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having to keep my eyes wide open until they burn to get one single tear, it isn't even worth it as in the moment I close them they immediately stop
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depression
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To clarify, I mean that your symptoms like to pop in and out to infrequently that you have no idea whether you're able to be a functioning human from one day to the next. I feel so powerless to the symptoms. Like, once I'm triggered, that's it. I'm out of commission all day. Sometimes I don't even get triggered by the same things day to day either. My reaction and coping skills fluctuate so much. I feel so freaking broken, you know? I guess I'm venting but also seeking support from people like me? I dunno. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment your experience!
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ptsd
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So a few years back I decided I'm done dealing with NT people unless I'm getting paid to do it
So at the time, I didn't quite realize that was my decision. What I had decided was that I'm done dealing with people who aren't willing to communicate clearly / openly / directly. But after years, and actually finding a few people who do communicate like rational adults, I've realized it's just NT people who refuse to do that. Over my life (though actually only over the last 3 years when I've finally been meeting these people), the only people who have been willing to either had ASD or ADHD.
I'm just so done with people blaming me for their own inability to communicate. People who decide they have some issue with me, and that its clearly worth talking about enough to talk behind my back, but not enough to talk about to my face like a rational adult. Who either are unwilling or just flat out incapable of saying "I have X issue with you" and instead expect me to read their minds
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I crazy for trying to approach life like this?
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aspergers
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Why Do I feel so broken.
Hi. My name is Alex, and I am 20 years old. I feel like something is wrong with me, and I don't know how to fix it. It's as if i am not to appreciate, or get excited about anything. For instance, a normal reaction when someone hikes to the top of a mountain, and stare upon the vast, and breathtaking view in front of their eyes, they will say "Wooow", or "That is so cool", or when you are driving past a festival, or something really cool, you would react in some way, but I stand there with a blank Expression like it means nothing. I don't want to feel that way, but just do. I want to feel invested in my own life, and act like a child, and do stupid shit, and have fun. But the more I try, the more stupid I feel. I can't seem to hold a conversation. I usually don't invest more than short, one word remarks, and answers, until the conversation inevitably ends in awkward silence, and then I beat myself up over it. I want to add my own opinion. I want to carry on a normal mundane conversation without, only making small talk, and commiting nothing to a conversation, even with those I love, and are in my life. I feel like a robot, and I don't like it, but I don't know what to do. Most people my age, drink, party, travel, do things together, and form relationships. I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and I scares me, that it might always be that way, and I will one day look back, and regret everything. I don't want regrets. I want to live in the moment, and not stress over insignificant, small, and tedious things, that I know won't matter down the road. I try my best, but sometimes I feel like that it not good enough, like the more I run, the more I seem to fall behind. Sorry for the rant. I am just scared, that I can't seem to enjoy the small things, and really live for me. Any advice, or tips would mean the world. Thanks for listening to my thoughts, and I hope everyone has an amazing Halloween.
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ADHD
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So, first I have to provide some context. I had some major drama getting my prescription about a month ago. I see my doctor via telehealth, and the pharmacy in my area I usually go to, long story short, stopped accepting telehealth prescriptions. We tried the pharmacy delivery service thing through my insurance, but they denied it because one requirement they have is that I have to be drug tested, which obviously my telehealth doctor wasn't going to make me do because I'd have to pay out of pocket at a third party lab. Which is fine, I knew my insurance didn't cover it but was hoping they'd let me pay out of pocket for the delivery service regardless. Anyways though, my doctor told me my insurance denied it and I got a letter in the mail saying it was denied as well. So we did eventually find a local mom and pop pharmacy willing to fill it.
Well, the other day I got a notification that there was a mysterious package I needed to sign for that was 21+. I hadn't had a chance to go to the post office yet to get it, and had no idea what it could be. But I checked my mail this morning and got a letter that my insurance decided to *approve* my meds??? So I'm guessing that's the package. I am so confused and I have no clue what to do. My doctor has also changed since we last spoke so I don't even know who to talk to. I am unsure of why my insurance even suddenly decided to approve it?
Sorry that this post is all over the place, this is just such a weird issue I didn't ever in a million years expect to run into.
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ADHD
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Yesterday I had a pretty intense flashback of a time when something bad happened with my mom. (Some context on how this came about)
This all started yesterday because my mom is going through some stuff with my sister where my sister is bringing up past things that my mom used to take part in or sat idly by while things happened to us. (My mom used to be on drugs and lash out) Well I was trying to talk my mom down and explain to her that my sister is just scarred and hurt and hurt people, hurt people. (My mom is doing a lot better and is sober and has her life together now) anyways I was telling my mom all this and at some point I had said something like "there's definitely things I still have resentment for that's you've done" she ended up asking what things still bothered me and I told her that how she treated my dad before they split and the time she beat me up.
The beating me up comment was the incident that caused my flashbacks.
Basically one day mom was really ticked off for some reason and she was really lashing out and being hateful. At some point she was trying to take away my phone when I was trying to get my dad to come get me and I told her I hated her (I was maybe 13-14) this REALLY set her off. She grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the ground and started punching my ribs over and over again. Eventually my sister got me out of the way and they fought. As that went down I called my dad crying and telling him to get us because mom was "beating us" so my dad got me. We went to the hospital and found out I had bruised ribs but was basically fine. (Psychically) mentally not so much.
The flashback was so intense and vivid and my body began shaking uncontrollably and I was sweating. It was so scary. I haven't thought about that incident in so long. The last time I talked about it and thought about it was when I was starting EMDR and my therapist was talking me through it. So it was more calming.
I've been having a few flashbacks here and there about my SA incidents too and they are so vivid its like they are sometimes triggered by me trying to be intimate. It's almost like I'm reliving the incidents and can feel everything all over again.
Luckily they are few and far between now because I'm on meds that keep me calm for the most part but sometimes they still just come on.
Anyways sorry for ranting. Thanks for letting me vent some
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ptsd
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I missed my rescheduled psych appointment this morning. The first time was because of a misunderstanding on my part about the time. This time I made sure that I set an alarm, I don't know what happened. I don't know if I, in a state of half-awakeness, dismissed the alarm, or if I slept through it or what. But I woke up an hour after my appointment was scheduled to start and panicked.
I feel so useless! I wasted my psychiatrist's time and my money... for the second time.
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ADHD
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For about 4 months or so now it’s just been Intrusive thoughts but as of today it’s turned into intrusive imagery and I find that harder to deal with. It makes me feel sick and I get the groinal response. I can’t focus in my classes and I don’t feel like I can be around the people that they are about. Medication doesn’t work, I take generic brand lexapro
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OCD
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I've worked tirelessly for the last 6 months to get my OCD under control. I'm at a point where I can say it's not a major issue in my life right now.
Today I was putting off work for 10-15 minutes and scrolling through social media, enjoying seeing my friends on vacation, pictures of their babies, etc. It dawned on me at that moment that while I've always been a big procrastinator, that time used to be dedicated to compulsions. I would put off work and look up symptoms and illnesses that I thought I might have (I had a lot of health-related themes) or the side effects of medications I was on.
It's something so small but it feels so freeing and liberating, my procrastination is my choice and I can do whatever I want with that time.
I'm sending good vibes to each of you OCD-heads, I hope we all beat this stupid disorder!
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OCD
|
Every up has a down, and I think of this every fucking god damn time Im happy. Right at the peak. And I crash. I walk away, I have sudden anxiety, I fixate, stare off.
I fucking hate it, I hate myself
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depression
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I am sorry that this post is all over the place but I don't know how else to type this. I am reaching out to see if there are other people who have the same experience.
Just for context; I am recently diagnosed with ADHD (just a few days ago) so I am now in the process of being prescribed medication and getting cognitive behavioural therapy.
There are times when I struggle to communicate how I feel or even understand how I feel but I am feeling a bad. It's like a baby crying because they need something but can't communicate what it is they need.
Last night (I have insomnia) I just wanted to reach out to someone but I didn't know how. I couldn't wake my boyfriend because what the fuck do I say to him as to why I woke him. I even tried to write a post on reddit but would just end up deleting them because I was just writting incoherent babble.
Then in the afternoon when I woke up did my routine, sat down to do something and I couldn't think. I couldn't create a train of thought. There were things I wanted to do but I just... couldn't. I started crying. I don't understand what is happening.
Is this something that is part of ADHD?
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ADHD
|
I don't know if I used the right tag for this or not but I'm trying to find out what I want for Christmas and I have no clue. My mother has been asking me on and off for a few weeks now and I genuinely don't know. I've asked her for help with ideas and every time she's like "we'll figure out what you like first, like hobbies or whatever" and IDK. I have no idea what I like. Every time I pick up a hobby I ditch it within a few weeks at most. .
Sorry for the weird, rantish post, but if you can think of how I might figure out what I want for Christmas I would be grateful. Thanks for reading.
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ADHD
|
I think I might’ve gave into a compulsion in the past cause I thought it would make my OCD go away, but it just made it worse and it makes me feel gross. I’m trying to get over my OCD about the event, but Idk how. Is it fair to say it was an accident so I don’t beat myself up over it anymore? I could use some advice
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OCD
|
Hi F (21) here. I’ve been through 5 significant traumas in my life so far including abuse, rape, stalking, a suicide attempt, and also watching my best friend attempt to take her own life in front of me (I was 15).
After all of this it’s been really hard to get back up on my feet. I’ve suffered from irritability, flashbacks, constant panic attacks, insomnia, night terrors. Name a symptom and I’ve probably got it. My doctor is actually trying to do cortisol level tests because he believes my chronic stress is causing physical symptoms now. I’m plagued with trust issues.
I remember the days when I could trust my significant other. No peeking over at their phone to make sure they aren’t cheating. No second guessing them when they say “I love you” or “I won’t hurt you.” I remember the days when I could love someone else without fear of becoming traumatized. The days when I trusted that my friends had my back, unlike now where I’m constantly on guard wondering if everyone hates me or if they talk about me behind my back. I remember the days when I didn’t wonder if the car behind me was following me or the days where I didn’t have my pepper spray ready to go while walking back to my car.
I’m constantly on guard and it’s exhausting. I’m over analyzing everyone’s motivations and intentions like I’m in a damn chess game. My body is tense, my mind is racing. I feel sometimes like I can’t catch a break. I try to relax, if you name a coping skill, I’ve tried it. I promise. Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, exercise, bubble baths, reading, journaling, literally everything. Yet I still have so much pent up worry. It drives me insane. I want to go back to how it was before I went through my traumas. I feel like I’m mourning the death of who I used to be.
Does anyone else feel this way? Stuck? Trapped inside your own body? I feel like when I’m triggered it’s like someone else takes over and it’s so hard for me to stop it. I don’t want to hurt anyone or myself. I just want to be happy. I want to be so freaking happy I would literally give anything to stop feeling like this. I have good days, but I don’t want my good days to feel like relief. I just want it to be normal, does that make sense?
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ptsd
|
I am 32 years old and again I am full depressed and my anxiety is very intense. I was like this since I was a boy, in 4th grade.
My family will miss me, my wife will miss me, my bf will miss me but I so no light at the end of the tunnel. So it's either now either in few months so what the hell am I waiting for?
The bad thing is that in my country is very hard to buy a gun
|
depression
|
Does anyone have any success with control somatic ocd? For last week I can’t stand the feeling of my skin on my chest down to my right bicep. I’m gonna lose it and almost have. Do I just need to tell myself that it’s temporary or is cutting off my arm and option?
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OCD
|
I often frown so my eyebrows are over my eyes or cover my forehead so I can't see other people, mainly in my own household, not when I'm with my friends (which I rarely see). I don't know why I do it, maybe because its easier to concentrate on one thing than have things (people) moving about in my peripheral vision.
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aspergers
|
Is it just me? I think I have a <1% success rate in remembering to do this. At this point my friends and family should probably just assume that if I die on the way home they will find out relatively quickly, lol.
Does anyone have any similar situations they come across, or perhaps strategies or other tips for navigating awkward moments like this?
|
ADHD
|
I've got a friend who is passionate about tackling racism in society, which is understandable as a person of colour. They pride themself on being socially aware and progressive. Despite this though, they use the word 'retarded' multiple times a day as their go-to insult and make cruel jokes about special needs kids.
It would be understandable if ableist people were terrible across the board - racist, sexist, you name it. At least they're consistently terrible. But nothing grates me more than 'activists' who are either ignorant or hypocritical enough to throw autistic people under the rug. I can't take their political activism seriously when they're perfectly happy to bully another group of marginalised people.
|
aspergers
|
I got prescribed Mirtazapine a month ago and I can't do anything without losing it. I can't deal with it
|
aspergers
|
So here recently with my intrusive thoughts, which most of the time deal with sexual topics, have had a little extra kick to them. It feels like there’s this force that wasn’t there before that’s telling me over and over and over again that I like the thoughts until I break. Once that happens it’s like I go numb, I still have the thoughts, but it’s like I can’t feel anything anymore. It’s not necessarily that I like them it’s just that I can’t really feel anything towards them once that happens. This has never happened to me before with my intrusive thoughts and it’s horrifying. I have a feeling that there might be more there than just ocd but I’m not sure and I just need some help. What sucks is here recently I was actually doing really good with my intrusive thoughts and I had gotten them mostly under control. I knew who I was. That’s really all I have grounding me right now. I keep thinking back to a week ago or even 4 days ago when these weren’t even real issues anymore. I knew I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I was repulsed by all the thoughts. And I know that doesn’t just magically go away but this nagging feeling in there has worn me down. Sorry I know that got a little ranty I’m just a little frustrated.
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone <3
My name is Miguel and the final avaliation of the Psychology subject on my school is a school work about different mental illnesses.
In the case of me and my group, we chose OCD, and our main focus is Pure OCD, the main stereotypes associated with OCD, and how general OCD affects the life of those who suffer from it. (It's not really a symptoms/causes/treatment work)
All the questions are optional, so you don't need to answer every single one of them, and if you don't want to answer a question, just skip it, but it would be heaven if you could answer at least the multiple choice questions.
If anyone is available for a more in-depth interview, send me a pm please :)
Obvioustly, this is all anonymous.
Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeK1qvQuNCODZzTvEePh5x7BFCWQ2fpk4DcsI0wAVjlZmZ-iA/viewform?vc=0&c=0&w=1&flr=0
Also, if this kind of content isn't allowed on this sub, PLEASE PLEASE someone tell me a place to post this, because we really need to have a poll with answers in our work.
|
OCD
|
so i look up at the night sky and can spend hours doing so. it keeps me so calm and actually helps a bit with the depression.
I wonder about other life forms in this universe and fantasize about getting abducted.. meeting other life that actually wont disappoint me nor let me down like most humans have. dae ?
|
depression
|
I'll try to keep this short. I'm in the UK and last year I was assessed for, and failed to get a diagnosis of ADHD - largely it seems because I didn't show sufficient symptoms as a child.
18 months later my life remains a total train-wreck for all of the reasons I'm sure we're familiar with on this sub. Bottom line I'm enormously unproductive and constantly reliant on others as I drift and stumble through life.
I already have a diagnosis for ASD but it seems that the main reasons I'm struggling are distinct from the traits associated with ASD.
I've done what research my inattentive brain and 60-second attention span will allow and am convinced that I have ADD / inattentive ADHD. I'm desperate to address this through medication (I've tried all manner of non-prescription approaches - exercise keeps me level to an extent but is largely off the menu currently, caffeine has helped a little - primarily with short-term motivation if not concentration - but not enough to allow me to function "normally"....).
I intend to contact the assessment centre and ask for a re-assessment / 2nd opinion / any help they can give and will be questioning the legitimacy of the need for childhood symptoms in the diagnostic process as I feel this is what's really let me down.
I'm interested to hear from anyone who's got a diagnosis without childhood symptoms, and whether they are considered necessary for a diagnosis everywhere or whether this is just in the UK.
Thanks :)
|
ADHD
|
I have been in treatment for OCD for the last 2 years in the beginning I used to take Wellbutrin XL ( my higher dose was 300 mg), risperidone 3 mg and lexapro 20 mg. I think this meds were essential for the ending of my intrusive thoughts on the other hand my cleaning compulsion just got worse. My new doctor prescribed me Luvox 50 mg before bed. I took it today for the first time! Hope everything gets better!
|
OCD
|
So I made a post a day or so ago about having dental work done at an endodontics office and how scared I was. I just got back from said work and I have to get a mouth guard soon but there was also some other interesting information I found out. That my teeth need cleaning again. It has been less than 6 months. He said I may produce more plague than the average joe. My mom asked if it could be due to the fact that I chew my tongue a lot as a stim and that that can produce a lot of saliva. He said it was a possibility and that I may benefit from more cleanings than the average person. I have to relay this information to my main dentist when I make the appointment for a mouth guard I have to get since I grind my teeth. I was wondering if anyone else has a stim similar to my tongue chewing that could cause a similar situation. It is so bizarre to me and I never thought my swimming could cause extra plague build up.
Thanks in advance!
|
aspergers
|
So, I've had this career goal for myself, one I've wanted to achieve since I was a child. Long story short, I didn't end up pursuing that goal, and from a young age I led a life that was only to serve others and their expectations of me. After a very long and mentally exhausting journey I've finally been successful in my pursuit of this goal and have now been offered a job in the industry I've wanted.
This year I lost one of my beloved pets, her illness and death were traumatizing to say the least. She is irreplaceable but without her I felt so empty. It has taken almost a year to get to the stage where I was able to adopt another pet, and this week I bought home an old adoptee who is just perfect.
I'm dreading starting my new job. I'm not happy. I wasn't excited when I got the news the job was mine. I barely gave it a second thought and have been autopiloting the entire process since. I love my new pet, I love her so much, more than I thought I could in such a short time. I spend almost all my days with her, she is the perfect companion. I feel like I made a mistake bringing her home though. I don't know why, or how I could even feel this way. I'll never give her up and I don't feel negatively about her specifically at all. I just didn't think I would feel so empty after getting what I've wanted for so long. I don't really know where to go from here now, in theory things are starting to look up but right now I feel so stuck and alone, like I've worked so hard to get here and now I'm here I'm not happy about it. I'm not really feeling about it at all. I still just feel.. Numb?
Idk. I guess I really wanted to share with someone. I know my situation isn't unique but I guess I don't have many people I can speak to about all of this. Has anyone found themselves in this situation, did anything help? Did you just one day realize everything you've done to this point hasn't been a ridiculous series of mistakes?
|
depression
|
"I won't let my mind control me, I am the one controlling my mind" I am going through my recovery phase now, it had gotten really really bad the past few months and I was literally suffering for absolutely no reason, OCD is so much worse than I ever thought it could be.
When you're having these thoughts just keep in mind. You God or Supreme Being is most probably omnipotent I'm guessing? No matter what you think if deep down you are a good person at heart, it doesn't matter what comes to your mind they're just intrusive thoughts. The more you try to supress them, the harder they'll fight back. Instead become the boss and whenever you think you're going crazy, think of that first line in quotes.
Chill out, nothings going to happen to you or anyone else. Only thing that will happen is you will make yourself suffer more. Become the boss and ignore it, don't jump back in and do it again even once. Not. Even. Once.
(Don't mind the grammar, I just loosely typed what I was feeling like on a whim in a comment and decided to post it here, you get the message.)
|
OCD
|
Title says it all. My condition won’t get better, how do I stay positive and not fall into depression knowing I won’t be healthy again?
|
depression
|
I'm currently on my mom's health insurance through her work. After years of my Concerta prescription being affordable and the best medication for controlling my ADHD, my mom's insurance plan recently changed due to a promotion.
Now, we just found out that one refill would cost us $100. And we can't afford to pay that much each refill, and if things aren't sorted out soon, I might have to change meds.
The United States healthcare system is broken.
|
ADHD
|
I had HOCD first. I can’t remember if it initially would cause me anxiety, but now it causes pretty much no anxiety at all. I used to get so scared of enjoying the thoughts of sexual situations with other men. So scared of feeling pleasure from it. Now I feel a really weird emotion. Almost a giddyness- sort of like butterflies in my tummy but the stress is repressed. I’m straight, and it’s distinct from the feeling I get with women I find sexually attractive. I can’t really pinpoint the emotion at all to be honest - it’s unlike something I’ve ever felt before. I thought it maybe came from when I would bombard myself with gay sex imagery over and over to try and desensitize myself to the stress.
When I started getting POCD I started getting the exact same feeling from my intrusive imaginations about it and bombarding myself with imagery. No stress. That weird butterfly but no anxiety feeling. It could even make me horny - not to want to go and masturbate to children, but to watch normal adult porn. I’ve never managed to get any “physical arousal” from either POCD or HOCD before (and I’ve done a lot of checking), but the feeling I get scares me, along with the feeling of wanting to masturbate, that I’m in to it in some way. My hope is just that I’m thinking of something sexually relevant for long enough, so it can have that effect.
I read something saying egodystonic pedophilia and POCD can be difficult to tell apart, so this scares me even more.
Is this normal for OCD?
|
OCD
|
I have found this article on this subbredit. [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/3oyh06/beat\_retroactive\_jealousy\_top\_tips\_and\_resources/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/3oyh06/beat_retroactive_jealousy_top_tips_and_resources/)
I recognise myself in it almost word for word after no 9th day of mental breakdowns etc. I am wondering people who suffered from it, did you recover, how long, and how?
This article says to trigger it on purpouse and then not do anything by it. Is this the method or smt else? If it is any firther info would be nice.
Thanks to anyone who responds, I am really down and need some home rn.
​
EDIT: What do you think the reason behind it really is? Low selfesteem, insecurities, etc.? Because I have got those
​
To accelerate your progress, when your anxiety spikes do the WORST POSSIBLE THING you can imagine to spike the anxiety even higher, while still resisting your Compulsion. Rub your “contaminated” hands on your face. Tell yourself “I am gay” or “I am a paedophile” or “My family ARE going to die!” and actually BELIEVE it for a second. This will send your anxiety sky-high. The higher the anxiety, the more tolerance your brain builds, and the faster you will recover.
I found this section in another article of his on OCD. What does this actually imply? When tought of my gf giving bj to her ex comes on should I say yes she did it(even if its not true) and then not imagine it? It kinda makes no sense to me this part...
|
OCD
|
I usually hang out with my two closests friends in a discord call but i feel like a burden to them so i'm not going to join their call anymore. I don't contribute anything to conversations and i'm not funny. My friends don't like it if i'm silent even though they know i'm bad at making conversations. So yeah that's kinda it. .
They wont miss me anyway even though they say they care about me.
|
depression
|
What i mean is when does a relationship go from respecting ocd (like the "normal" partner not touching the mouth piece of the ocd partners fork), to controlling behavior? What boundaries need to be crossed? Are there some behaviors that cannot be excused in the name of ocd (specifically contamination ocd)?
|
OCD
|
Hey everyone, I (25F) recently got diagnosed with ADHD from a psychiatrist. She gave me the choice of starting with Straterra or Vyanase and I chose straterra because it sounded safer. However, I think I made the wrong choice after doing some online research and after I took one 40mg pill yesterday I felt nauseous and super sleepy. I don’t think I felt any difference in my attention span either.
What meds should I ask her for during my next appointment?
Also, is it worth it to go to a testing center and do an actual test? I feel like she was very hasty in diagnosing me.
|
ADHD
|
i still have like, i can still look at guys or hear them and be like “oh my god that’s attractive” but my heart doesn’t skip beats like it used to, i have sexuality ocd and have had the fear of being gay, bisexual and aromantic, i’m on an aromantic theme recently and i’m just scared my heart is never going to do that again, and i don’t know how to let it go, let that fear go, any advice??
|
OCD
|
recently i've noticed i've gained some quarantine weight. i can't say i really like it though. because of this, i've been focused on eating healthier and getting in some more exercise. but my ocd makes me think that because of this, i'm going to develop an eating disorder or become anorexic. this has been a fear for a little while (3-4 months) but recently it's started to become a daily worry. every time i see something about a thin person, or literally just food in general, i get anxious and my ocd makes me second-think my choices. i've tried talking to my therapist (only brought it up once so far) and haven't found a good solution. i just don't know how to cope or how to stand up for myself against these thoughts
|
OCD
|
To cut a long story short, a scammer managed to steal my life savings from me. I should have known better and not went along with the scam but I got really overwhelmed and they were bombarding me with information and I panicked. They were pretending to be a bank employee and I got confused and gave them info I shouldn’t have.
They took everything. And it’s my fault. It will take me years to save up what I lost. I’ve tried every avenue and I don’t think I will be able to recover any money.
I feel so stupid. Defeated. Hopeless.
ETA: to everyone saying this is nothing to do with ADHD, my difficulties processing info, making decisions and dealing with stress (all recognised ADHD symptoms) factored into what happened. My title is bad, ADHD is not 100% of the reason but it played a part. That’s what I wanted to discuss here. That heartbreaking realisation that if you had been able to pay better attention this could have been avoided. This feels like the ultimate ADHD tax.
Also I’m in the UK and I’ve already filed a police report and made a claim to the bank so thanks to everyone who already suggested those things.
|
ADHD
|
My grandma refuses to get rid of all kinds of stuff even if she hasn’t used it in years. It stresses me out so bad, I have 2 and a half more years left until I’m 18 and I don’t see how i can possibly wait that long. I cant stand it. I don’t know what to do. I try to organize but my grandma just yells at me not to get rid of anything even though im just trying to ORGANIZE THE FUCKING STUFF NOT GET RID OF IT IF I GOT RID OF IT THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO ORGANIZE. I think im going to die if I can’t get more organized soon. I want to move out so bad I don’t know what to do.
|
OCD
|
Whenever my partner is sitting next to me on the couch, scrolling through his phone, I find it difficult to keep my eyes away.
I don’t want to be this type of girlfriend but there have been a couple of instances where he’s tilted it away from me, or quickly exited out of what he was doing when I sat near him, and I could tell he was nervous about it. Ever since then I’ve struggled with this.
|
OCD
|
I am an insecure human. Everyday is just going through the motions, trying to overcome the waves of anxiety, dissociation, pain, fear, self-loathing.
How do you all manage to work through your insecurities? To trust others again? To show yourself to the world?
|
ptsd
|
I was on the profile of a grade 12 senior who I thought was cute . I found a comment mentioning sugar babies and backed out but then went to see if I had misunderstood it . I did not and promptly reported it . Then I continued scrolling found another one , reported it . Then found another one and reported it . I live in Canada . In Canada if you’re “counseling criminal sexual activity with minors or describing criminal sexual activity with minors “ you’re making child porn . Then I reported whatever I could find . Then I wanted to see if Instagram would take this comments down , if they don’t then it’s not child pornography right ? But I’m waiting on Instagram to respond . Should I talk to a lawyer or a therapist , I mean he’s above the age of consent but does that count as an exploitative relationship , the girls were
Around grade 9-12 I would think . The girls who commented that stuff weren’t old . If it was a grade 9 or 10, I’m pretty sure 14 and 18 is legal here which is weird . But idk if those sugar baby relationships are and whether I saw cp
|
OCD
|
I’m on vacation and traveling with my family right now, and it is very emotionally painful and taxing. The unpredictability and lack of schedule is triggering meltdowns (I rarely have those), sensory overload, causing me to be short-tempered and snap at my family and starting arguments, and overall just more irritable than I usually am (I’m usually very perpetually irritable even when not traveling.) I’m trying to have fun and enjoy it, and I have genuinely enjoyed quite a few things we’ve done and places we’ve gone to, but lack of schedule and constant moving about and unpredictability is beyond stressing me out. It just sucks cuz vacation is supposed to be fun and relaxed and I’m tense and stressed. 😞
|
aspergers
|
so i used to read fanfiction smut, i read some dark stuff,when i read the darker stuff it was mostly that i accidentally came across it. skimmed it once, then re read it twice more, this happened atleast 10ish times that i remember. my more "normal" stuff that i read, the reason i put normal in quotaions is cause it wasnt that normal. the reason i have a problem and think this is real event ocd, is cause it ties in with all the intrusive thoughts i get now and some of my ocd problems. like sexual thoughts about family, pocd etc.
my more normal stuff was still abit taboo. i wasnt even into the actual characters or really imagined what the person was writing, it was the description of sex that i was fapping to, even thought i dont think i was ever really aroused. i realized masturbating is one of my weirdest obsessions. so i dont know if i feel aroused most of the time i actually do masturbate. i do think alot of the time it was me reacting to a gronial response aswell cause i didn't know what that was until recently and always thought i was just horny. but i wasn't
i don't want to go into much more detail cause im still abit confused about all this stuff and im still learning stuff about my ocd day to day. but like i don't know if i truly am a monster for reading the darker shit tbh. anyway im gonna try an be positive. have a nice day.
|
OCD
|
Sometimes a thought come and i feel strong urge to do the complusive but if i didn't do the complusive its can come back again few days later but with no urge to do complusive.. what make those urge to come and go?
|
OCD
|
I keep jumping at the fireworks and I feel like crying. Please help I hate the noises, and I feel so jumpy and on edge.
Edit: Thank you everyone who replied! You really helped me💜💜💜💜💜
|
ptsd
|
How do people accept the idea that they might be the only person in the universe and everyone else is imaginary. How do people accept the idea everyone might be out to get them? Etc.
I know this sounds ridiculous but you have to admit that these things are possible, you can’t subjectively say that it is completely untrue if that makes sense.
I don’t think I have schizophrenia because i don’t have illusions such as vision or hearing voices, nor that thing where people make up pretend words and people struggle to understand what they’re saying. I was also told people who have schizophrenia don’t fear they have schizophrenia and that they truly believe what they believe. I don’t believe these things but my ocd mind is like “I don’t know, it could be true and it’s scary as hell”. At first my ocd just feared me getting schizophrenia now it’s just struggling with these delusional questions like the ones I listed at the top.
All these thoughts only started like 2/3 days ago, it started off with the covid vaccine and how my mind went “how do you know they’re not injecting you with hidden substances etc”. This only came up because of how people came up with conspiracy theories on how the covid vaccine is implanting chips etc and my mind started going, well how do you know if it’s safe to use?
Now that fear is practically gone and it’s now just focused on how do I know everyone is not out to get me? How do I trust people? I have never got this crazy before and my mind can’t find a way out of this because my mind is like, “well no matter what they say to help you just know you can’t trust them because they’re just saying that to trick you etc.
Right now I’m going through one of the biggest ocd attacks I’ve had possibly ever so I hope I will have rational thinking by tomorrow but for now I just need help and advise. Is this schizophrenia? Can schizophrenia ocd be this convincing?
Right now I’m in tears writing this because I’m just so afraid and scared. I don’t want schizophrenia at all I’m so scared.
|
OCD
|
So basically the title,
Pretty much every month normally my SO finds a new interest : shoemaking / robotics / metal Fusion you name it
He has looked into ADHD a few times, but he doesn't like the idea of going to a psychologist.
He gets defensive when I bring it up ( we also need to go to and doctor for allergies but it's the same problem )
Is it possible to be becoming more and more severe ? A new project every week now ...
What can I do to help him?
|
ADHD
|
I've been dealing with TOCD for a while now and have just started doing guided exposures. I was looking at before and after photos in transtimelines and whilst it was pretty anxiety inducing at first I felt my anxiety subside over about 30 minutes. I went into my bathroom to have a wash and ended up seeing myself in the mirror. Instead of feeling fear or disgust at my own apperance, I felt this sense of joy and happiness that I existed and that I deserved to feel better about myself. I began to cry tears of joy and laugh at how silly this whole thing was, and felt almost normal again for the first time in ages. Cut to this morning and I'm waking up worried that I had that blissful moment because I accepted the thoughts and came to terms with being trans. I know what I felt though, I know I felt so happy to see me as me again and that this is my ocd trying to pervert my happiness into something negative.
I just wanted to ask, have any of you felt more sure and relaxed after finishing an exposure and how can I minimise the risk of lapsing again after I make more progress?
|
OCD
|
I’m always thinking back to mistakes and thinking forward to things I have to do to not be a bad friend/human. Talking to my friends and family feel like chores and after I finish the interaction, I have a whole new slew of regrets and intrusive thoughts about how the interaction went. I need ocd to pause man, I’m so tired. I just want to enjoy my life without over analyzing everything, it’s so hard to relax... even when I do things I love like listening to my favorite songs or watching my favorite shows, I’m checking to see if these things are as good as they remember them to be and if they’re actually worthwhile. I can’t stop questioning everything and I hate it, it’s so hard to explain this to the people in my life even when they’re open to talk about it... I just want some peace of mind, it’s like there’s no escape
|
OCD
|
I am starting ERP (with NOCD) with a particular focus on my driving phobia.
Most of the exposures make sense to me (sitting in the front seat, playing driving video games, holding keys, etc.)
But one in particular, watching videos of car crashes, I just can’t understand how that can be helpful. Couldn’t that potentially make things a lot worse? Or am I being closed minded/ don’t understand what ERP is as well as I think I do?
Insight and experience with ERP much appreciated.
|
OCD
|
I have severe depression and suicidal ideations. Is it odd or weird that i dont want to try medication for my personal reasons? There is two reasons. 1. I was put on selexia when i was institutionalized and it made me have terrible, horrifying hallucinations. 2. I am genuinely disturbed by the idea of feeling normal. Its such an alien idea that i would rather be depressed than feel normal because i dont know what normal is like and i dont think i would like it.
I can elaborate on either of those two things for anyone who asks, i actually enjoy talking about my experience with depression, so feel free to ask me anything!
|
depression
|
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