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Is it common for autistic people to get frustrated by a teacher who explains things in a long-winded, circuitous manner instead getting straight to the point and explaining things in the most simple and direct manner possible? So much modern education seems to be based on "experiential" methods that are designed to get students to "learn how to learn" instead of simply teaching us. This translates over into the business world as cheesy management techniques, annoying slogans and cliches, and bullshit jobs/meetings about meetings.
I can learn most things just fine if someone explains it as bluntly and directly as possible. But the modern world is moving in the direction of endless windbagging with no substance and I just can't fake any interest in that nonsense.
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aspergers
|
This is an honest question I wanted to ask the community.
I believe that after 40 years, I would probably be labelled as having Asperger's or high functioning autism. But one of the struggles I have with this is: why must this be labelled? Or, why cannot this be normal?
I mean, so what if I have struggles establishing friendships or making small talk? Why is that considered to be abnormal? I feel like if I accept such a diagnosis then it's a confession: "there's something wrong with me; I need to be fixed." Do I need to be fixed? Why can't someone who has a tendency to be shy or be interested in doing things alone be allowed to function that way without stigma?
I'm not trying to be confrontational. It's just that with a diagnosis like this, I would be labelled and treated differently the rest of my life. I do have struggles in my workplace, being a "team player," or even being so-called "friendly." Guess I am happy to be me but it rubs others the wrong way.
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aspergers
|
i went on tinder 3 weeks ago and ive been through some shit. before i went on there, i had just found out that my ex was seeing someone new and it crushed me. it wasnt because i still had feelings for him but bc it was like he was moving on faster than i was. we broke up in july and i got over it pretty quickly bc i wasnt in love with him anymore and i just wanted to be free ig. i started my senior year of high school in september and it was not easy at all. although my bullies (who caused my trauma) were not in the same class as me anymore, i still couldnt really handle the stress and anxiety school brought me. the first 2 months i felt like shit the whole time, my friends were unclear to me, some of them were mean and i just couldnt handle it anymore. i had a mental breakdown and i stayed home for almost 2 weeks to rest. im now going back to school for 2 half days a week but its still exhausting. in september i wanted to get back into that datingworld and meet new people. i didnt back then because i told myself i needed to work on myself first. ig what triggered that need for someone new was seeing my ex making new friends bc he started uni and stuff. i felt stuck because i had to deal with all this crap and he was finally set free from all my problems. i want to make new friends too. i guess i was and am still jealous. anyways, fast forward to 3 weeks ago, as i said i started going back on datingapps. in the first week i felt a connection to one guy and his name was umut. i knew what i wanted in a person and bc of that, i skipped a lot of important steps to build a bond. i guess i was cutting corners to get to my goal. that didnt work out, umut wasnt really showing any interest. i was anxious and sad during that whole week of talking to him. at the end of the week, i told him on the phone that i thought he was not being completely honest about being interested and he didnt say much. i moved on and started talking to some new guys. this new guy i like is called daniel. he is totally different than what i would normally go for. i told him about my ptsd 2 days ago and he was okay with it i guess. yesterday i told him i was sad and he asked why and i told him i didnt know. yall must know that feeling of being sad but just not knowing what triggered it. he just said well dont be sad. i mean, i cant really just turn that feeling off. if i could i wouldnt be feeling sad to begin with. i think one of the reasons im sad was because of the stress school gives me and a lack of confirmation. i show some compulsive behavior when it comes to wanting confirmation about anything. im working on that though with my therapist and it has gotten better but still. when im not getting “enough” of that confirmation i feel insecure and misunderstood. my close friend advised me to delete all the datingapps and stop talking to all the boys from on there. i want to do that but i also want to keep contact with daniel because i like talking to him. i just dont know if its affecting my mental health and if it could make my mental health worse.
TL;DR: im scared being on datingapps and talking to new people is making my mental health worse but i still want to stay in contact with a guy i met because i want to see where this goes.
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ptsd
|
I used to have this compulsion where I would feel like I had turned to the left or right an uneven number of times. For example, if I was walking down a hallway and needed to turn left, I would turn right 270 degrees instead of left 90. Or I would feel like I had used one foot more than the other and to correct it I would take a few steps with the same foot in a row. I'd just like to know if anyone else has experienced something very similar to this.
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OCD
|
I know this isn't as serious as most of the post on this reddit but I'm 16 and my I'm a sophomore the year is almost half way over and after that I only have two years left. It's really starting to hit me that after these two years I won't be able to hang out with friends everyday and have fun with them and that most of them are going to disappear after highschool and that the fun years of my life are almost over. And I'm not close to my family so I can't just hang out with them and it's really making me sad. So yea that's it
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depression
|
Finding out at 30 that I have OCD is wild. Like for as long as I can remember I have had Intrusive thoughts, that I expertly hid. My inner world was so loud and basically I had gaslighted myself into believing that my thoughts had meaning and that I was a monster. Here I am trying to erase a lifetime of self hate and guilt. You would think finding this out would offer some piece. But no it does not because OCD is the 'what if' disease and what if I don't really have it....
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OCD
|
I’m in a hard spot at the moment and I need advice. My (F28) Bf (M29) has pretty severe anxiety and recently he is going through a period of depression caused from being in a job that makes him miserable. I can often here him swearing to himself in his office and after work he goes on heated rants about how much he hates his job and all the bad stuff that has happened. On top of that he is just miserable. He has gotten lazy with cleaning up after himself. He has no motivation. He often speaks about feelings hopeless and stuck.
I want to be there for him and I’m trying so hard, but it is massively triggering my CPTSD.
Without going into too much detail, always hearing aggression and swearing from another room scares me and when he rants after work, my brain can’t help but process that as me being yelled at.
It brings back memories of feeling helpless, stuck and defenceless.
I’ve noticed I’ve because ridiculously jumpy/startled, my insomnia is even worse than it already was and I’m overall very anxious.
I don’t know what to do. I want to be supportive, but this is the first time in my adult life where I feel like I did when I was a kid and I really don’t like it.
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ptsd
|
I've been depressed for a while (maybe about a decade) and I've made it this far. Things were tough when covid started but I've battled through it. I'm at a point where I basically live with functional depression so most people don't realize how bad it is.
My best friend reached out to me in hopes of getting "help" from me and using my coping mechanisms to help herself. I gave her some options but pushed her to see a doctor/ get medication if it's really bad for her. I take medication and it got me to a place where I can function.
Fast forward a few months she's still depressed, and looks to me as a shoulder to cry on. She never contacts me with anything other then this. I understand it sucks, I KNOW it sucks, but I feel like she's going to make my depression worse (is that possible?) Dragging me further into the depths and if I don't let her vent and help her then I'm the asshole. I feel like just ending the friendship to preserve what little I'm able to do would be the best thing for me.
Thanks for reading, if you have suggestions I'd love to hear. If not that's ok, just venting helps.
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depression
|
I love my flatmates a lot and we all get along very well, but I'm getting really sick of how much they rely on ableist jokes. One of my flatmates is a guy who is fond of the r-slur. I used to wince whenever I heard this word but I've been desensitised to it and although I think it's a slur, I don't feel willing to confront them for a word that is (unfortunately) popular to use. The bigger problem is that him and another flatmate have recently bonded over an inside joke where they act like a 'r****ded' person. It's one of their biggest jokes and they often act this out by way of making weird facial expressions, clapping 'autistically', seizuring and doing slow, baby or otherwise dumb voices. They're the type of people who say they have 'dark humor' and they are very funny in some ways, I joke a lot with them about all sorts of things. But this just seems like serious low-hanging fruit. The worst part of this is that I've not only enabled it, but I've been complicit and made ableist jokes myself. They don't know I'm autistic and I just play along with the jokes they make, but this joke is so repetitive that it's secretly grating on me. One problem as well is my other flatmate is a guy who is almost certainly autistic, though having never confirming it otutright, has had discussions with everybody about autistic issues and how much they mean to him, which makes their jokes more blatantly insensitive. I don't really know how to deal with this, I'm probably just going to pray that they find better material.
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aspergers
|
This will soon be almost 10 years since I've even had a proper date and I'm pretty much at my breaking point. Sadly I am not asexual, neither am I one of these people who could ever become one. All I want is a proper, loving relationship and I'm tired of seeing it actually be something that can be taken for granted by 99.9999% of people. Also why I won't go to a prostitute even though it's legal here, I'm not looking for just sex but I still see it as something extremely important.
I have tried pretty much everything. Therapy of every imaginable kind since childhood without which I'd not even be capable of independent living, it has gone as far as it can be taken, further therapy would be useless. Online dating maybe has me talking with a girl for a month maximum. In 3 years I've gotten to meet up with maybe 4.
I simply am no longer capable of taking this. I no longer need to keep thinking every day how this is simply what it is. I will never accept not being able to experience something so natural over shit I have no control over. One more thing, while I might be involuntarily celibate, I'm in no way an incel. Yet. I hate people equally for what the world has put me through. Also why I have never talked with any therapist about the true extent of how much it is a problem for me. As soon as it's anything about sex they won't touch you with a 3 foot pole. It's either deal with it or become normal, magically. People who have actual problems that keep them from having relationships are put into the same pot as people who feel entitled to everything and it pisses me off to no end. I have considered everything up to suicide and chemical castration to maybe at least stop the shitty feelings. Anyway I'm very fucking close to doing something very stupid. I'd have the world end in flames if only I could feel what practically everyone else I know can whenever they want it.
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aspergers
|
I feel like I’m walking through a swamp blindfolded with quicksand all around me. I know it won’t kill me, but it will mess me up very badly. I don’t feel like I have the ability to get sick or hurt, due to the people around me depending on me. I don’t mind that they do. I really don’t. In fact I do like returning the favor that they did for me, when I was little or sick. My wife is on oxygen 24 hours a day. It is just a lot of pressure on me to maintain. I’m afraid of going back to work. As Wife just doesn’t want to do anything but sit or lay on the sofa. I just know I will still have to come home and cook and do the cleaning. I also feel like I’m so ugly and disgusting looking. It’s been 4 months since wife sucked it up, and gave me some. I know that was just to shut me up on vacation. I am so desperate for the touch of a woman. I just want to feel desired at least for a little while. Even if it is an illusion. I know I’m an old fat bald guy with an ugly scar down my belly. Probably the only people I could get to touch me is if I paid them. It’s just so sad. I have to figure a way up, otherwise I will drown. One thing I have noticed I almost think “the Monster” inside of me is dead. I haven’t felt anything from it in a very long time. That is a wonderful thing.
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depression
|
TW: losing people
This is my first post on reddit, so if I did something wrong please tell me and I will correct it right away.
As you read I really need advice.
Two years ago I realized that something is wrong with my memory. I had the feeling as if something or someone precious to me is missing (not only one person but more).
I cant really remember my childhood probably because it was... uhh lets say not so healthy for someones psyche and at some point I changed according to my family and thats true I felt for years nothing and only recently I started learning to accustom myself with emotions. All my life I thought I had only my family growing up.
I was before unsure if I wanted to seek help, but then I stumbled upon this subreddit and read, around a week ago, about a redditor, sharing their experience with their trauma and resulting ptsd. I dont know what really happened in me but when I read a certain passage I started uncontrollably crying. I just dont know what happened. I felt my heart tighten, crying and really sad and after hours of uncontrollably crying I just felt numb and tired. And all of that with the thought that I dont want to lose anyone. That I want to remember who I was and the people I forgot. I wanted to laugh with them make memories with them but they are gone and I cant remember who they were and what happened to them.
I want to seek help but my question is can a professional help me? Or am I wasting my time? I dont remember anything at all.
I am and was a daydreamer thats why I dont know if I am making memories up or not. But that feeling still stays real that some people are missing.
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ptsd
|
Tw: Incestuous Child Sexual Abuse
Update: since I already used all my accessibility extensions, I've panicked my way into doing about 70% of the work and have decided to take the 5% hit of one day late and just work until it's done. I realised that my usual method of using the anxiety to finish in the last few days just doesn't bloody work with depression...
Tldr: venting about my procrastination of university work during emotional flashback. I would appreciate any nice words right now.
I'm a second year law student who has PTSD slash CPTSD, anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I started treatment for the eating disorder this semester and it has actually really hit me over the head... Turns out it was my coping mechanism. So my mental health is really bad right now.
I've been seeing a psychologist for 2 years now since everything came to a head and I ended up using alcohol to cope. Luckily that was short-lived. I think I need to move on to a different psychologist with different methods soon though. I have an appointment next week with a university based psychologist for now, so hopefully that will help.
I've been avoiding every bit of coursework for weeks, ever since I was triggered by the lecture on sexual offences because it specifically discussed the defence of coercion for Incest. And I just... I'd never thought of it like that before. That it was a crime that needed defending. And although I know that legally and morally I am not the perpetrator, it just left me in an emotional flashback. So now I'm just using reddit and everything else to distract me. I had what my psychologist calls 'transient suicidal thoughts' during the worst of the flashback. Which is frightening either way since it's never happened to me before. I've been having weird 'slice of life' dreams of my abuser for the last week...
It's bled out into my torts and contracts classes and I hate that because I actually kind of like them. I haven't watched the lectures, and I have to do 40% weighted 2000 word memos for both. I've already wasted most of the extensions thankfully given to me because of my accessibility plan and because I had a medical certificate for pneumonia.
I've been sitting here in front of my laptop for 5 hours... Just doing anything but the work that's due tomorrow at 4pm. And I feel bad because I know I'm the reason that my peers haven't received their marks yet.
My psychologist said I can get a withdrawal without academic penalty but I just don't want to admit that it's that bad but at the same time I wish someone would empathise with me that it is that bad... My family is elderly and sick so I don't feel like I can reach out to them and I only have one friend who is there for me but is also constantly working in the medical profession and swamped with her own issues.
I'm going to add a positive though. I used to have Non-Epileptic Seizures because of the trauma and I haven't had them for three years. And I did a cognitive assessment yesterday (took 5 bloody hours lol) which randomly made me realise that I don't have (what was assumed to be) benign familial tremors anymore!
I honestly found that working as an executive legal assistant in a horrific work environment was easier than this, mentally. My finances aren't what I'd like them to be. No non-school debt, but the emergency fund is getting down. So I just keep feeling like I should defer and work for a while instead so I can lose some of that stress!
My psychologist has recommended SSRIs, but not until after the semester... Which is frustrating but understandable. I just keep thinking "I don't know what to do", even though I do actually know that I just need to do the work. The absolute dread I feel when I stop dissociating is just kicking me down. And I'm my husband's carer as he has ADHD and ASD plus sensory disorder so my stress levels are generally pretty high. He tries to support me, emotionally, but it's not logical to him so he can't think of solutions. And he knows that giving me hugs and letting me vent is a good option but I can't help but feel like it's only filling up my need for support at a lower rate than if he were more conscientious.
I know typing all this is just a continuation of my distraction, which feels bad. I can't deny that the untouched bottle of rum on the bar isn't tempting right now...
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ptsd
|
Hey everyone. To give a little context: There is a fellow student in college, I often talk to. We usually have long discussions, we continue via messenger and pick up when we see each other. She is very smart and perceptive and cares about people's mental health and knows a lot about mental illnesses.
I don't tell anyone about having ASD but sometimes, I wonder if she knows. Or at least has any suspicions. I mean, I usually can't keep eye contact for to long and tend to use a much narrower and more repetitive vocabulary when talking compared to writing. To one of us, it might be obvious, so there is a chance, she might catch it as well.
So. Is there any way to find out if she knows without giving it away if she didn't?
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aspergers
|
Hey guys I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was young and have never really given it a second thought. But after finding this sub and reading so much of what you guys write (and be completely overwhelmed lol) I find myself wanting to learn how to control and deal with some of my issues that directly relate to my ADHD!
A huge first step for me in any mental problem has always been self awareness of the issue but I'm looking to learn more. Are there any basics or like a wiki (lol) that I can read to learn about myself in relation to it?
Also would you guys suggest a therapist to help me understand it more? Also who can I talk to about some form of medication and do you guys find it to be helpful?
Thanks!
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ADHD
|
I was up late at night wondering if I'm a monster, to which id usually respond with compulsions and rationalising but a few nights ago I said yes. Yes I am a monster. Eh so what?
I don't think my OCD brain knew what to do next tbh because you it can't really defeat it. It's the most irrational thing you could think off in that situation. Like seriously, how would you counter it? But what about X Y Z, yeah yeah whatever I'm a monster. It just kinda went away after. I should have taken that leap of faith way before. Now I need to gradually work on not avoiding things
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OCD
|
Hi, I'll try to keep this short. Basically I (23m) have been depressed for as long as I can remember, I was first diagnosed when I was 17. I have never felt emotions as strongly as other people, the way I usually describe it is like other people's emotions would be a graph with mixes of big or small highs and lows, but mine would be a plateau just below neutral with occasiaonal small bumps up or down. I can barely think of any times in my life when I felt genuine happiness, the only times that come to mind are times when I've been using drugs.
I just wondered if other people felt like this? At this point I genuinely don't know if it's possible for me to be happy or if I have to live the rest of my life in monotony and accept it. By the way, I'm not suicidal, even though I don't really enjoy life I don't have an urge to kill myself. So yeah, does anyone else feel like this? Please tell me about your experience if you can relate, I'd at least like to know if I'm alone in this or not.
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depression
|
I'm meeting my therapist tomorrow for the first time and I'm already dreading the fact that I have to give her a crash course on my life. And questions like "tell me about yourself" and "why did you decide to come to therapy?", "why are you here?" are the worst. I literally forget who I am and everything that happened in my life up to that point. Please just try asking more concrete questions!
I know these are normal questions and it's only natural to start that way but I kinda get lost and have no idea what to say. Am I the only one?
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ADHD
|
Does cutting your wrist hurt a lot or does it just feel like a big paper cut. Also how long does it take u to die from it. Thanks.
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depression
|
PTSD nightmares that left me the next day with hypervigilance and fear of going to sleep were some of the most disruptive symptoms of my PTSD, and trying out this drug, which was cheap and easily available, because it also is a blood pressure medication, change my life and my ability to get a full nights sleep and reduced my hypervigilance greatly. My therapy was also doing work but interrupted by the pandemic so I haven't seen them in 6 months. Then every pharmacist near me tells me the manufacturer has stopped supplying them prasosin. My psych prescribed me zopiclone because I was too anxious to go to sleep knowing what fucked up shit was there. I was only supposed to be on it for 2 weeks, I don't want to get addicted to it. I've finished the prescription and I don't want to ask for more. Drinking alcohol and having zopiclone was the only thing that guaranteed I would be traumatised further in my sleep, I never had any nightmares when I did that. What would you do in this situation? I feel like I'm in limbo, I'm managing to study part time and work part time but I don't know how I can keep this up
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ptsd
|
My OCD/ADHD makes me pick a lot, mostly picking my nose, so I was wondering who else’s ADHD makes them have similar urges. I’ve had many, many embarrassing predicaments because of it but I kinda don’t want to stop, but it would make my parents not yell at me so much and my experiences in public less humiliating, so I don’t know, if anyone had any advice or someone else who has the nose picking urges but doesn’t want to give it up either or somehow did then I’d love to hear it. I’ve had really bad nose picking urges all my life and probably lost a lot of potential friendships from it so yeah.
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ADHD
|
I'm not diagnosed but it seems really likely, and it's one of the only things that explains why i am the way i am and struggle with the things i struggle with
I'm off my anxiety medication, and in between insurance, and even when my insurance kicks back in, I'm too anxious to call and set up appointments.
My partner who i love more than i can describe dumped me a couple months ago, and i just don't know how I'm supposed to be a functional human. I don't have an appetite, i can't keep my apartment under control, and I'm working way too many hours at my new job, which i am way overqualified for 25% of and way underqualified for the rest, and they are expecting me to just pick the it up and know how to do it with no training.
I feel like I'm regressing all the progress I've made over the past couple years, and becoming less and less functional, and I'm really scared that that trend is going to continue and I'm going to completely break down. I've lost my ability to speak before, and I'm really afraid it's going to happen again.
I think about killing myself all the time, but i know i won't do it, but it keeps me up at night anyway.
I have some friends and family who care about me, but I don't know how to tell them what i need or open up about what I'm feeling.
I'm just feeling really stuck and hopeless.
I don't really need anything from internet strangers, but i just needed to tell someone how I'm feeling.
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aspergers
|
i was groomed for ten years by my step dad and assaulted multiple times nonviolently as a preteen and teen. i feel like im being so dramatic by having such a severe mental challenge. i mean it didnt happen more than a few times. it was nonviolent. i was older. how come i am so ruined? with such serious mental patterns will i ever *truly* get better? (please dont tell me to go to therapy. i am in therapy and have been doing CPT for a while.)
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ptsd
|
Does anyone else feel to carry the guilt even if they only did a minor mistake? Like u missed a call or chat from someone who needs some attention, and now ur guilty af for not being there. Keeps me having extreme overthinking and keeps looping until I exhaust myself.
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depression
|
So I recently discovered that having intense emotions and struggling to regulate them is a symptom of ADHD. This is something I've battled with my whole life - when I get angry I get furious, when I'm sad I'm depressed. I can't think rationally during these episodes because I'm drowning in my own emotions, and it takes embarassingly little to trigger them, yet its like moving a mountain to get out of them before I've self-destructed and taken it out on everyone around me.
I'm trying to work on it, but it's really taking a toll on my relationship because of course it affects my partner, who can't understand the intensity of my emotions or my lack of control over them. I'm on Elvanse but it doesn't seem to affect my emotions much (or my tendency to overreact) and I do go to therapy, but this is still a persistant, massive problem in my life and relationship.
Does anyone else experience this? Or have any suggestions or ideas on how to deal with it? My partner can't take much more of it (understandably so) and I'm pretty much watching my relationship fall apart infront of me, and rather than helping avoid it, I'm continuously actively contributing to it. Any and all advice or input would be extremely appreciated.
|
ADHD
|
HELL(P)
​
I dont wish for insane luck, I just dont want my brain fucked
But that aint an option, never with you
You'll make it your greatest mission to ruin everything I do
You'll take me to task, make me question this
I do everything I can to understand what this posession is
"Depression this, monster that"
I aint being woe is me, I'm just expressing facts
You took everything from me, every positive thought
Steal my whole life, so you're all that I got
I try to relax, sit back and keep still
I'll never know the experience to feel a cheap thrill
A few minutes of peace, that's all that I get
I may look fine to them but I'm under deep threat
I got a demon that I cannot control
I hear it screaming internally, burning my soul
Fine on the outside but something lays dormant
and when I explode my struggles labelled a performance
But that's just me, that's just my life
I wish they could see, I'm just trying to make things right
I'll speak to every doctor and take every pill
Whatever it takes before I lose my will
It's my own fault, stuck here in what seems to feel like an exclusive spot
I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HAVE NO MORE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
Berate me, sedate me, tell me to die
You leave me in a state, and as a grown man I cry
I've lived with you for every minute of every day
You do your best to show me how life could go in a horrific way
"If you don't do this then your family are dead!"
I have to do what you say to save the fear and the dread
I know it's messed up and all in my head
I'm just fed up, cause it's all in my head.
​
\- Tony McG, 06/10/21 until forever
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OCD
|
I started a new job a few months ago. It is my first “grown up” career level job.
My boss and all my other managers have praised me so far, and it has really boost my confidence. The job I have is in a field I’ve always wanted to work in, but I almost didn’t take the job because I thought I wouldn’t be competent enough and I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
A little bit of background. I’ve always been in the lower percentile. I know ADHD doesn’t equal stupidly. However, I am very dumb and I have ADHD. It takes me twice as long to understand things. I am also very shy, which makes people think I’m sweet and dumb.
Over the years this has resulted in people, especially adults, giving me praise I don’t deserve. Mostly to make me feel better. For example; when everyone in kindergarten was being praised for counting by 5s, I was getting the same praise for counting to 10.
It’s not just with academics. At my prom, all the mothers made sure to tell me how pretty I looked. And it felt so condescending.
What makes things worst is that I was always a confident child until I started realizing that all those “good jobs” and “look how pretty you are” were from people who felt sorry for me. Ironically, this made me start wondering if something actually was wrong with me.
Fast forward to my job. I thought the praise I was getting this time was genuine. Until a co-worker, in a senior position, pointed out a few things I’ve been doing wrong this whole time. I thanked her for telling me. And my anger now has nothing to do with this co-worker, I appreciate her for what she’s done. What angers me, is that all the praise I’ve been getting, means nothing anymore. How can I trust it? You guys see I’m making these mistakes, albeit small, and you never tell me. How can you say I’m doing great?
Everyone at my work knows I’m new at this, and that I want to do well. So I feel like the praise is just to make me feel more confident. And it had, when I thought it was real.
I use to get panic attacks thinking I was going to get fired and those went away when I thought I was doing good, but now I don’t know anymore.
I want to do well but it’s hard to measure my own success when I don’t know how much positive feedback is real or not.
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ADHD
|
I finally finnaaaally got a prescription for 36mg Concerta after being stuck on 18mg for over a year. It’s only my first day so I’m not expecting anything to change but I have been interested in Vyvanse.
So for those of you who switched from Concerta to vyvanse, why did you switch and how did it help you?
How long should it take for 36mg Concerta to work?
How do I tell if it’s working?
Thanks
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ADHD
|
can ADHD go away with age or do you basically have it forever?
i’m 29F and was diagnosed with adhd inattentive and started taking medication at 16. i started on adderall xr, moved to vyvanse 60mg until i was 22. i stopped taking meds for a year then went back on. i’ve been taking 20mg (low dose) for the past 5 years or so. i’m currently taking zoloft as well.
i haven’t been re-evaluated for adhd but i think the meds still do help. my symptoms are mostly inattentive, being late to things, interrupting when ppl speak, not listening/retaining info, forgetting where i put things, etc. not sure if these are skills i haven’t learned to manage because i’ve been on meds or what.
am i cursed with being on meds for life? i’m sure i could be without them but i like the feeling of fine tuning control.
has anyone been in the same boat?
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ADHD
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Does anyone else have a general vibe of not being like at work. Due to my depression I struggle with energy, patience, and generally maintaining a positive attitude, and being social,
I’m so aware of being perceived badly by employees when they could only imagine the kind of thoughts I have to endure to make it through the day.
I guess what I want to know is are other peoples job / reputation at work completely ruined by mental health.
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depression
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Every single time I’m not genuine, people like me. I tell people I don’t feel real, they tell me to be my true self. I be my true self, people hate me. I go back to acting not like myself. That’s what I call a vicious cycle 😂
makes me feel more alone than ever
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depression
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I don’t think it’s true, but I feel like it is. Also my thoughts continually say it, even though I don’t want to hate anything. It is an irrational thought, I know it is not logical. So how do I stop it?
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depression
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My son is 9.5 years old. My biggest OCD "relapse" I've ever had (I've dealt with it in some capacity since my earliest memories) started toward the end of 2018 when he was 6.5. I've made a lot of progress but still struggle. We are also still dealing with covid (I'm the most lax about it in my family, weirdly enough, but close family is high risk, my son isn't vaccinated, we have horrendous insurance, and we live in a rural area with limited health care options). I've been very open with my son about OCD and he has seen me struggle but also have successes. Today we put a pause on our virtual learning to take a walk by the river. He wanted to get in, but wasn't dressed for it and we didn't have time for a post-mud bath afterwards because of school work. Then he wanted to climb a tree and I asked him not to because he was only wearing crocs. He got very frustrated and on the walk back to the car, he yelled at me that he was mad at me and that my "OCD ruins everything" Kudos to him for directing it at the OCD and not necessarily me, but at the same time....oof. It hurt big time. Every day I live in anguish over the fact that "ocd mom" is the mom he will remember. Not the me before things got bad. I cry in the shower wishing for some miracle to take me away from him in a non-traumatic way so he doesn't have to endure me anymore and can go back to being a normal kid. I remember crying hysterically in my counselors office a few years ago about how I wanted to go away from everyone in my life because I was sure that they would no longer see me...only the OCD. I know that's not true, but today really triggered that feeling again. I find myself barely wanting to talk to other people sometimes because I feel like it is either complaining about my life circumstances, which even for a non mentally ill person are pretty garbage right now, or it's OCD talk. And even when it's not, I feel like I have to speak carefully so people don't think it is (ie, overly explaining why I'm asking someone to do something). I refuse to believe that this is as good as it gets, but it also feels like progress or "normalcy" are so far off and that my son will be into his teen or adult years and my time with him will be lost once I'm well enough to fully be present with him. I love him more than anything but most days I wish I had known how sick I was going to get because I would not have put a child into this mess. I hope when he grows up that he will see how hard I tried and understand that I have nothing but the best of intentions in how I parent him and that our family was a victim of something I never chose.
Any other OCD parents or kids of OCD parents here that feel like commiserating or sharing their experiences?
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OCD
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Had a random girl message me on insta, she got my username from bumble and “couldn’t wait for a match.” Well meaning, probably a sweet girl, but she looks and writes just like my ex who traumatized me deeply. Kept using certain phrases and all lowercase with certain emojis and constant self doubting language and I had this vague sense of pressure to constantly reply quickly. I’ve never talked to anyone who reminded me so much of my ex and god I hated it. I feel bad but I unfollowed and deleted our messages and I can’t stop thinking about it. Part of my brain tells me it’s my ex catfishing me trying to get me back or break my heart or whatever but I know that’s paranoid and insane. I haven’t been this angry or anxious in a while and I feel crazy.
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ptsd
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Hello fellow Aspies and NT's with Aspies in their families/lives!
🧩Today, February 18 2021 is our day! 🧩
I actually have an appointment with a local mental health-care provider to try and get my official diagnosis (again!), so that I am eligible to receive housing assistance and partial disability assistance. I've never been able to successfully manage my own life as an adult; hold a steady job and show up regularly, pay bills, maintain a home, maintain a vehicle, etc.
I *CAN* take care of cats, however. Heh, I sometimes feel I can communicate better with house cats than I can with NT's out in the world.
This is not about me though, just a coincidence that I have my appointment today, so I am hoping it goes very well. I hope the day is amazing for all of us, and all of you here in our growing online community!
Any adult Aspies here from South Central Texas? The snow the last few days has been insane, I've been stuck at home and loving the weather (we haven't lost power or water service though).
Anyhow, I am going to sit down with one or two people I consider good friends and try to help them better understand ASD and how to better understand what's going on in my head and how to avoid misunderstanding each other so often. I don't wanna come across as boring or like I'm forcing it on them, but I do want them to understand that it's important to me that they give me a chance that they listen for a little bit before they dismiss me entirely.
Any of you guys planning on spreading awareness or making your condition known today?
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aspergers
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My themes have been jumping all over the place recently, I’m not sure what to believe anymore.
So yesterday I thought I was a disgusting cheater. Now today I had a new intrusive thought “what if I killed someone years ago and forgot?” I’m 21. I had this intrusive thought when I was 17 or 18 but forgot about it until now. This is the worst one because there’s absolutely nothing I can do to “fix” this thought. I obviously have no memory of killing anyone, ever, I don’t know who it would’ve been, how I would’ve done it, why I would’ve done it, HOW I WOUDLVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT AS A YOUNG TEENAGER?? Like it makes no sense.
Anyone else had this one? I feel like mine is different to everyone else because my brain is like “but you really DID hurt someone, everyone else’s is OCD but yours can’t be”. I hate this.
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OCD
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My therapist mentioned this to me today and that it could be helpful. I read through some of the older posts. Has anyone completed their infusions and is on maintenance?
Really curious to hear people's thoughts and experiences.
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ptsd
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I (33m) had a stupid dream about my wife last night (28f). She left about a year ago and abandoned me and fucking killed me mentally. I’ve been struggling all year to trust people and get back out there I guess. But I just can’t trust anyone anymore. I hate my life and myself. I can’t believe one person can have so much power over your mental state. Yeah I just bought a new car that I’m getting this coming Friday (dec 24th) but that’s like a bandaid. It’s the car she wanted but wouldn’t let me get because of the loan. I’m still technically married and I refuse to file for a divorce.
I wish I could end it all like maybe auto pilot the car off of a cliff or something. I don’t know. I want to be a better person but I’m tired of the mental pain all the time.
I lost my medical insurance because I didn’t work enough hours to keep it but I gave up thousands of hours of work over 3 years to spend time with my wife because I actually loved her and wanted to be around her.
Now that I don’t have insurance I can’t see my therapist that I need because of her.
Work buddies help sometimes but they also suck because it’s construction work so they basically say suck it up buttercup we’re boilermakers women leave us.
Sorry for the rant. Time to go take another depression nap
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depression
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I’m 18 years old and have been diagnosed with severe OCD, normally around sexual orientation. Right now, I’m worried those subliminal messages videos on YouTube have changed my sexuality. I remember listening to one that made me more straight and it actually worked even after I forgot about the results. I’ve also listened to ones that were supposed to remove results because I was convinced others had turned me gay and they made me more gay I feel.
Im really just venting because I wish I could know. It seems like no one knows for sure if they work or not since there’s no scientific proof as to whether they work or not and I’m just super scared. Everyone online says it’s worked for them. But there’s no actual scientific proof. If they can change eye color, why can’t they change sexuality?
Also, to the “you were gay all along” people, please don’t comment.
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OCD
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Does anybody else get mad when you see or hear bullying. Being a kid that dealt with a lot of racism and bullying i find my self irritated more and more when someone makes fun of others. Im i the only one maybe thats why i have a some circle of friends.
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ptsd
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19 f. I think i have ocd because i have been obsessing over every bad thing i have done in the past and if it makes me a bad person and i will be stuck on a thought for a month. 2 days ago i was laying in bed and i had a thought about the time i first started masterbating(ik random). I was 13. And then i remembered when i didnt watch porn at the begining and that i would just use any sexual youtube video i could find. I remember i watched rape scenes in tv shows and movies that were quite graphic.
And then i had a thought again that night that i remember at that age or maybe i was 14 i cant exactly remember i watched a youtube video(it wasnt real, it was like from a series) of this man who would rape his daughter and give her chocolate afterwards as to keep her quiet. Now i cannot at all remember if i masterbated to that. And i hate the fact that i dont know but also i am glad a bit that i dont know because then if i did do it i would probably get depressed and think about suicide again.
I feel like im a sick person and a weirdo and if people knew they would be disgusted with me and hate me. I feel ashamed and it is making me think about suicide knowing i watched all that vile stuff back then. And the worst part is that at the time i didnt even think it was a big deal. It didnt cross my mind once that it was bad to watch it. I just watched them because i needed something to masterbate to. Anything remotely sexual. I am recently dealing with worries that im a pedophile. I think its pedophile ocd but i dont want to self diagnose.
And something on tv came up about when someone was a child they were sexually assulted and then i had a groin response and then i was like oh no oh no and started worrying and then my mind was like oh you like the thought of that kid being sexually abused and then i was like omg what if i actually do because i used to watch those youtube videos as porn back then and therefore i think its okay for that to happen and what if i do it to someone and then came the STRESS STRESS STRESS. Now i am worrying that it seems like i am looking for sympathy when i mention that i have suicidal thoughts when i remember this stuff.
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OCD
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I made a post similar in r/anxiety but now I have another issue similar, but not the exact same. Does anyone find it hard to do things you like just because of lack of motivation? For example, I want to read, and have a manga series I’ve been trying to read for god knows how long. All day, I tell myself “ok, I’ll read later”. When later comes, “ok, I’ll read when I lay down so I’m more comfortable.” And now I’m laying down, and nope, 0 motivation, I can’t get myself to read. It’s not bc I don’t enjoy reading, because I do, I just… can’t get myself to. Idk if it’s a motivation issue or what, but it hasn’t always been like this and I’m convinced its mostly bc of depression. It’s like this with other hobbies too, but this is the main one. I lack motivation to do many things, but this is one of the main ones as I enjoy reading, but am never “motivated” enough. Does anyone else have a similar issue, and if so how do you power through it?
I do have depression btw, and like I said I’ve lost interest/motivation in quite a few hobbies but this is just one I’m naming
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depression
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Everyday I wake up I just wish I had not. I just want to honestly die but I can’t kill myself. I’m too empathetic to do it, how can I leave my family like that? How can I leave my best friends like that? I just wish with every bite I take of food that I just choke to death or every breath I take I can’t catch another. I’m 21 years old and can’t find a job due to anxiety and I can’t find a girl to be by my side and tell me everything’s gonna be alright. Do I blame them? No. But how do I escape this life I was given with out hurting others? All’s I wanna do is die every day but I can’t tell the closest this to me because then they’ll think I’ll just slit my wrists but honestly I can’t do that, maybe if I had a gun I could just paint the sky’s like the 4th of July but I can’t… idk what to do anymore and therapy or medicine hasn’t/can’t help what I’m feeling day in and day out. Survival of the fittest and I just don’t have what’s fit to survive.
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depression
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tbh idk if i should put this hear or the dissosiative reddit, but i havent been diagnosed with anything dissociative i guess but anyways i feel like im floating in space, barely able to control my thoughts or actions. Songs keep playing in my head and I feel like I’m drugged up bad. I havent even been doing drugs besides the normal caffiiene and anti depressants theres no reason for me to feel so estranged with my body. I dont feel real or anything I just feel numbness. everythinf is numb. i want to escape i wannt ceawl out of my body and escape i wanna stop feeling this way
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ptsd
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i post on a lot of different subreddits and this one almost always has numerous responses answering my questions and offering reassurance. i always feel like i can come here and vent and i will be greeted with some sort of comforting response
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OCD
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It’s 5 am and I’m just. Not sleeping. Yesterday I had three nightmares (one during the night and two during a nap) and I am too terrified to sleep. I tend to do this the night after I have a nightmare and it’s just not fun. Everyone else is asleep and I’m completely alone. Idk if this is better than just sleeping at this point. Does anyone else do this?
Or have any ways to distract themselves? I’m watching a show I like but I don’t feel any less a h yknow. This is just a vent but it feels good to type out, I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it.
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ptsd
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I'm 31, moved recently and lost all of my "friends". Looking back it seems they were more acquaintance who felt bad for me.....
I'm at a point where I'm really frustrated with people in general. It feels so taxing to put effort into hanging out with anyone. I know having a social life and a support system is important, but I'm slowly leaning towards giving up on having a social life.
I'm posting this here to see if anyone here has had any experience with struggling with maintaining friends or a social life. Then given up on it and how that has affected your life.
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aspergers
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Any of y’all feel like when life is going wonderfully and you feel great, the obsession that swoops in is a fear of your partner dying (for me, it’s while he’s away - traveling or hunting or doing something even slightly risky without me). It’s all-consuming 😩
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OCD
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I'm at a loss. It's one thing to work on getting a handle on managing it in waking life, but when it all falls apart when you're asleep and you have vivid nightmares of the very things which plague your mind in the day, I feel helpless. I feel like there's no escape.
I have zero control over what occurs in my dreams and my actions in them, so learning how to lucid dream will not help because it would be akin to fighting it as we have the maladaptive reflex to do anyway.
Does anyone know how to combat this problem?
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OCD
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Hi everyone. I'm not officially diagnosed with ADHD but I have an appointment by next year Feb with a government hospital. Long story short, someone suggested I might have it, I looked it up and I relate with most of what is described with ADHD along with what I observe my family members seems to have.
Anyway, weird behavior I noticed from myself is when watching videos of stuff I like, cute animal videos, my favorite youtubers/vtubers, a good comedy, I find myself pausing a lot and walking away for a while to "calm down". Its kinda hard to watch long videos of stuff I find extremely funny in one sitting. Sometimes I have to put the remote/mouse far away from me.
But it is different when I am playing my current favorite online video game, Apex Legends (a battle Royale type of game). It demands a lot of concentration so there's no choice but for me to stay and be in the moment. It feels like quite a rush when I do manage to secure a win with my team. But after walking away from the game, the transition from the rush to base line is kinda uncomfortable.
Is this weird?
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ADHD
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I think about bad memories every hour of the day and it’s really affecting how I spend my time because I’m caught up in intrusive thoughts. I think about it too constant that I have anger outbursts, I pace up and down my hallway until I try to calm myself down and not think about that thought or I cry randomly at home. Sometimes it has happened in public and I feel really embarrassed after doing it
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OCD
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My depression was triggered last night and my bowels are very messed up. I feel like i’m going to puke as well. I can eat but I just feel so nauseous. I want to take medicine but i’m not sure. I know there’s Pepto Bismol but that’s not the best. Does anyone know any medicines that will help with stomach issues due to depression??
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depression
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Could your current personality be better than your premorbid personality? And if so, should you seek treatment?
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ptsd
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I know that this concept is probably something that will never be possible. But if it was, say there was some sort of medical procedure where a doctor/psychiatrist could go in and remove the painful memory of whatever event(s) happened during your life, would you have it done?
I find this to be an interesting prospect, but perhaps also a potentially hazardous one for a variety of reasons. Our memories can be linked to each other. If you remove one, what effect would that have on the others? For example, if you no longer remembered the specific day that your trauma occurred, you might notice a gap of missing time in your memory. You might be able to function without it, but it may also cause some confusion in your life. Also, what if it caused you to no longer remember a person who harmed you? Or you do still remember them but just not the wrong they did to you? Because you no longer remember them or what they did, it might put you at risk to be harmed by them again.
But I think there are some people who despite all of this would be willing to risk it and take the chance. I'm sure that some would simply rather not have the memory and all of the issues that come with it. If you could free yourself from your traumatic memories what do you think your life be like right now? If you could erase them, and thus potentially erase all of the problems you have because of them, do you think you'd be better off?
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ptsd
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I so desperately want to believe that he's still interested in me despite him leaving 90% of my messages on read. I'm such a worthless idiot. I hate myself.
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depression
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Hello all, for as long as I can remember I’ve always had a tricky time in developing and maintaining social friend/relationships. When I was young I didn’t really care, mainly because I’d never had friends so no biggy. However ask I’ve grown I’ve found it increasingly difficult to ignore my lack and a social life. Growing up I always had the pre-conceived idea that ‘one day’ I would figure it all out. However, I seem to have still not been able to achieve it. At this age, having never really had an ‘relationship’ to speak of. My increasing concern is that I might never figure it out.
To put it succinctly, is there anyone out there neurotypical or otherwise that might be able to offer up any advice to me. What I really want, much like anybody is a good group of people guy/girls whatever that I can rely on if ever I’m in a jam. Just, how do I go about the process of ‘social’?
Much Thanks
James T.
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aspergers
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When I was a young child my father used to come in and beat us violently for nothing. my brother tried to take the brunt of it but in the end it got to us equally. my mother divorced him shortly after, but we still had to see him..life was good untill my mother's boyfriend showed up more and more...he ended up living with us.vi will never forget the screaming matches and the violent toxic mess that was that time of my life. Well lucky for me I had an escape..my grandparents house...well these people had abused my mother all her life and when she was raped at fifteen they told her she had asked for it...well I didn't have anywhere else so I went there...for the brief time they weren't beating the shit out of me they were screaming at each other...somtimes my aunt came down and she would tell me to suck it up to...three years ago I cut all contact with them..I still see my abusive father and my mom's boyfriend...I thought I was done untill this year..I'm thirteen this year and I have a hate and fear of men...I feel so horrible about this because there are really good men..I'm just terrified. I'm cutting myself horribly and I feel so alone I was never raped, or assualted, or on the battle field, so I struggle with feeling in valid. I recently saw my grandparents in public and I had a full blown mental break down I had so many panic attacks I couldn't think straight I'm still recovering I wish you guys all the best much love.♥️♥️
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ptsd
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Finally saw the doctor today who went ahead and prescribed me Vyvanse 30mg. I was so excited to feel “normal” like others have said (I’ve been diagnosed yet didn’t take meds)
Well went tonight to fill the prescription and it’s over $300 for 30 days! I was able to bring it to $203 for the 30 days yet honestly that’s ridiculous. I talked to my insurance and they said it’s due to the class of drug and my deductible not being met.
I called his office and asked for maybe something else I can afford. He will be calling me back this week and I have a follow up on two weeks. Yet my husband told me to go ahead and bite the bullet and try it for a month. So I picked up the prescription.
:/ idk how you guys do it if you do. Price is insane.
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ADHD
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Hey guys,
Just wanted to share some positive strategies that, although unconventional, have been bringing me closer to feeling like myself again. Basically, I go through these weird phases where I'll become obsessed with something for a period of time. Sometimes it's an academic subject like astronomy. Sometimes it's a person. Didn't used to get these before trauma. Well I just figured out recently that if I suppress these urges my imagination has for something, the results are typically a lot worse than when I just let myself go to these weird places and express my feelings. I was obsessed with this person, and still kind of am, recently. Instead of cutting myself off from it, I turned it into a daydream fixation and just wrote a lot of poetry and lay in my bed for hours listening to emotional music. This is actually helping me to let go of the obsession. By allowing myself to feel it as intensely as possible, and express it in any way as long as it's in my own space and not affecting others, I feel free, and I gain so much respect for myself and then, as a result, if I I am closer to my true self than the obsession. I let myself daydream about all the things people might tell me I shouldn't. I build up a strong, inner world. Things are still far from perfect but I think I've realized my toughest battle is not with my neurodivergence or things people consider abnormal, but with the deep insecurity that comes from being told I'm somehow wrong in having a different nature.
Can anyone relate to that?
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ptsd
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Hi there,
This is my first post here, thanks for reading :)
I'm not wanting help with diagnosis but just wonder if others living with ptsd also ever get these symptoms:
\- Muscles randomly twitching or contracting, making controlled movements hard (like my arms/ shoulders randomly tense up as if I'm startled, hands shake)- I get a weird, slow "gait". I look stiff like I'm limping or favoring one of my legs. Body generally feels stiff and tight. I can release it for a second but it comes right back.- My breathing is constricted and slow.- General exhaustion and extreme fatigue after exercise, sometimes for a day or so after.- Dizziness.- My eyes have trouble focussing on things, and just zone out. Or, they dart around randomly.
Mental symptoms are usually confusion/ fog/ overwhelm. I can't really "feel" very much. Sometimes I can get in touch with my emotions and that helps me get "unstuck". But often I forget that there is emotional "stuff" there. I do sometimes go through periods of intensely negative emotions and instrusive thoughts but lately it's more of the physical stuff.
Are these symptoms familiar to anyone else?
Besides often getting in the way of simple activities, I find these symptoms so awkward and embarassing because they are so obvious. Of course I hope no one else has to deal with it (!) but discussing with others might help me feel less alone.
Thank you!
ps. btw I've been cleared for neurodegenerative illness... I'm 99% certain symptoms are trauma related so relevant to be shared here
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ptsd
|
Hey everyone, just wondering if you think this is an OCD obsession or just regular attraction.
There are three women in my life that I find attractive. I'm not ready for a relationship right now, as I recently got out of a long relationship. Also, from what I know about these women we are probably not compatible. The problem is that when I am with them, I can't get them out of my head. I dress nicer, I try and act better, I think do they like me? Do I like them? If I do this will that make them like me? If I say that will they like me? I don't want these thoughts and they don't really bring me any pleasure. Is this OCD blowing everything out of proportion?
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OCD
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Just for some context; I was diagnosed with OCD earlier this year, but I have had such extreme skin picking tendencies for as long as I remember.
Only just the other day I was informed that this is an OCD thing, and the reality of how much I do it is sinking in. I do it multiple times a day every day, especially in this period of time where my mental health is deteriorating.
I have scars and scabs all over my chest from picking at the wounds that I refuse to let heal, even going as far as biting into my own skin (very gross, I know... But I've done it all my life) until I bleed with these wounds. I tend to go into a bit of a trance just like with all my other compulsions and the reality of the situation only sinks in until after.
For those that suffer with this and thoughts surrounding it, what do you do to prevent or ease those compulsions and obsessive thoughts? I will bring it up to my psychologist next time I see them but seeing strategies from fellow OCD sufferers could be beneficial.
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OCD
|
so my sister left me in charge of my nieces and as a person having to deal with intrusive thoughts and such. I'm a complete nervous wreck, for the most time I'm fine and collected and if my nieces want food or help with something i help them
It's only after a while that i did everything correct my mind suddenly conjures up disturbing thoughts and the sudden what ifs eat me alive
I have a hard time dealing with such and it makes me wanna assure myself, but that's only feeding into the ocd itself.....then comes the ruminating....
I also have this thing where i talk to myself and try to somewhat reason with myself and I've been caught doing that by my parents which is embarrassing
I haven't been diagnosed yet but i plan to hopefully
If God himself were to give me the option to get rid of my ocd for a limb I'd gladly accept...I'm done
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OCD
|
No matter what I do or say, everyone leaves. I'm a burden to everyone and everything around me and I suck the life out of any room I enter. God I hate myself. I'm actually so pathetic it's unreal. I used to be funny. People laughed at the jokes I made. I used to be able to hold a good conversation. I used to be interesting to people. Now I'm a burden to everyone and no one likes me being around. I have no close friends, they all either left or drifted away because I'm too lazy to even say hi occasionally. I could die tonight and no one would know. I'm alone and I always will be. I wish I was dead.
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depression
|
I just got diagnosed maybe a week ago, I was prescribed 2mg guanfacine. It has some side effect but I definitely noticed the difference in just about a day or two (though I should see the full effect in 2 weeks to a month)
I am Way more calm and able to actually focus on tasks and conversations with people, in just 3 days I noticed I wasn’t cutting off my friends anymore, talking excessively.
So in high school I loved math, I wasn’t the best student, I was bad at deadlines and paying attention in class so I compensated by hyper-focusing or just doing all my work the a few hours before it’s due.
I ended up just not really carrying about school because I thought I was just bad at it , i shyed away from math focused majors because I was just like oh I will never be able to put in the work for those classes.
Now I’m a sophomore, and I want to change my major to computer science, in the past I felt incapable of doing a minor like this because I just thought I was “bad at school”z
In the past few days I’ve even been able to do the research and find out what classes are required for the major. Something I just couldn’t do before starting my medication .
And ofcourse I am joyful and greatful that I can now actually get things done, but I just feel like I’m at a disadvantage because of this disorder, now I have to start all over? I might graduate later? It’s just so stressful. Now it’s like i actually feel capable of doing school work and I have to start all over 😞
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ADHD
|
Hi I'm 14 and I sorta been feeling down for a while. It mainly stems from feeling like I'm letting everyone down including myself. Sorta worthless. I feel like my parents are pressuring me to make the most of my childhood by doing thing but I feel like I let them down by not making the most of my life. I feel like I have wasted a chunk of my life and it's hard to get over. Like I used to play guitar but since year 8 I have lacked the motivation to play. I have family friends and their kids play sport and instruments ect to a high level and I always feel like I don't meet their standards and my that dad doesn't think so either. I go to private school as well and although I get really good grades I don't think I make the most of it when my parents pay the bills for me. Same with my friends and stuff, I have friends but I rarely go and see them outside school since covid which in comparison to my mum and dad's childhood where they would go and do loads with friends. Sorry it is kinda difficulty to understand but I have just written down all my feelings on the page so u know. I don't know whether this is depression or not. I just feel like I've wasted 14 years of a short life and that I'm a disappointment. I have thought about dying but I can't cus it would be really bad for my family and my sister and my friends. I feel shit.
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depression
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I just joined this sub minutes ago, out of desperation.... Trigger warning just in case?
Does anyone else have PTSD just from growing up? I feel so fucking stupid even asking. I know nothing I could grow up with could possibly compare to veterans and being shot at and everything they deal with. I've been formally diagnosed but sometimes the shame is still too much to carry.
I haven't slept in a couple weeks now. Random things remind me of other things. I found a stool in my gfs garage and it looks exactly like the fold up stool my mother would swing around at us, like fuckin WWE smackdown. I had been sleeping ok but the nightmares from my mom started again recently.
I don't want anyone else to have gone through this. But at the same time I wish I wasn't the only one.
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ptsd
|
I have ocd and now my brother is now stuck in an intrusive thought loop.
I’m worried I’m going to overwhelm him by over worrying about him.
I’ve called him a few times to check up on him and calm him down because I know what he’s going through, but I don’t want to trigger him or keep brining it up.
Any suggestions?
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OCD
|
I started in my first full-time office job at the start of the year, and as I've settled in I've realised there's a lot of interpersonal drama between different people in the office. I feel like I'm being jockeyed around as the newbie, and made to look the fool for not knowing better.
How do others handle this sort of situation? We have a good HR team, but while I feel quite impacted by the situation, I also feel like it's too insignificant to take to them.
Edit: fwiw I'm the one with aspergers here, and I personally hate drama. I don't get why people just don't talk openly about things.
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aspergers
|
my ex was really abusive when we were together and they’re okay now. i haven’t talked to them in 2 months and i just don’t understand why they get to be okay and i’m broken. they broke me. i was hospitalized 5 times because of them and i have nightmares every night because of them and i have to be on medication so i don’t wake up screaming and hyperventilating and they’re just...okay? fine? doing well? how is that fair? i don’t get it
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ptsd
|
It is definitely trauma related too, but I somehow convince myself constantly that I'm going to get in huge trouble and ruin my entire life. The list is extensive but includes me thinking I'll get in trouble for these things somehow:
* For dating someone three months younger than me when we were both 18 and that I am a pedophile/groomer for this
* For somehow abusing my dog (who is happy and healthy, I exercize him daily and had a vet check-up last week and passed with flying colours!)
* For embezzling my own money... (moving my own money from my main account to my savings)
* For being 18+ and visiting completely legal and okay porn sites (and that maybe it hosts something nasty really deep into the site and although I'm not viewing that at all or seeking it, I'll still be in trouble or it's somehow on my laptop)
* For this one time when I was 11 (i'm 25 now) and running the cash register at a school festival, and misunderstood where to put some of the money and the teachers thought I had stole it, I was able to immediately show where it was and all the money was accounted for, but I still feel like I'll get the police called on me for this someday
It's gotten to the point where I saw a sheep give birth a few weeks ago, and told the farmer, and I had my dog (on the leash) with me at the same time. Farmer was grateful. My dog is tiny and there's a thick hedge between the sheep field and the path (he is still leashed anyway) - he couldn't see over the fence, (and didn't notice the sheep) but I could. My mind immediately thought "he'll think my dog was unleashed and spooked the sheep and I'll get arrested and my dog put down etc etc"
Anyway. Does anyone else have similar obsessions and if so, have you found any "solutions" or do you have any advice? Thank you.
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OCD
|
First I want to preface by saying it’s not really because I’m afraid of contamination, but more so because I don’t feel “perfect”. If I feel anxious, sad, ugly anything that’s not content, I have to shower. Is this an OCD trait, or just a weird thing I do? Genuine question.
|
OCD
|
Good movie for getting an idea of asperger syndrome - Mary And Max. also amusing :)
|
aspergers
|
My husband is just SURE I'm exaggerating about PTSD affecting my concentration and memory. To put it into perspective for him, I recently listed everywhere I've tried (failingly) to use my tablet passcode as a pin/password, including...
*my phone
*HIS phone
*my computer
*credit card machines
*used as a phone number
*when asked for the last four of my social
*public callboxes
*our router's passcode
*social media account passwords
...etc. None of these have any of the same characters as my tablet's numeric passcode.
And y'all...I just tried heating up soup in the microwave with my tablet pin number. Yep. It worked about as well as all the other places I've stuck my pin into. PTSD fries your brain.
|
ptsd
|
I'm a bit lost. I've had girlfriends, wives, parents, etc. suspect that I am somewhere on the spectrum. I've taken online tests that seem to verify, but I've never been officially tested. I'm old enough that autism wasn't a thing when I as a kid, lol. anyway, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, lol, just wondering if there is anyone else in the "grey" area that wants to talk.
|
aspergers
|
TLDR: Do the meds jack up anxiety the same as caffeine does?
Hi - late 30s year old and realizing that I likely have ADHD as I navigate my child's own formal diagnosis. I have not yet been formally diagnosed (finding an available psychiatrist is a PAIN where I live), and I don't want to jump the gun but after researching it I'm highly confident that I have at least a mild to moderate form condition, and I believe I spent my childhood undiagnosed because I did well academically. I've also suffered from anxiety my whole life that I've been able to mask but my mind is my own personal hell, and doing simple things and managing my emotions can be done but is extremely taxing. As is doing anything I'm not interested in, and all the other stuff people relate to on this sub about forgetfulness, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and other facets.
I recently quit coffee and went full decaf for 7 months. Amazing. Anxiety went to zero. And I actually find it easier to navigate the day because my emotions are not nuts. However, I find focus is horrible (again, this is after 7 months, so should be far outside the caffeine withdrawal period) and thoughts run wild throughout my mind worse than ever before, although I can just handle it emotionally now without the anxiety.
I tried using a daily cup of matcha - and long story short, I turned into a RAGING asshole and anxious about everything, including small chores several days out or a meeting next week, etc. My focus and motivation was incrementally a touch better, and the running thoughts got a bit quieter, but the emotional side was OUT OF CONTROL. Needless to say, the anxiety side of me can't handle it. At all.
I believe I've read that ADHD meds only target dopamine / norepinephrine in the PFC, whereas caffeine basically jacks up everything including the amygdala. Is there any truth to this? Has anyone here had an unbearable caffeine sensitivity but found that meds gave the stimulation without the anxiety? I just worry since all the formal info I can find on the meds label anxiety as a side effect.
Thank you!
|
ADHD
|
21M. I wanted to ask because I want to try to date ND girls. Dont wanna waste my time chasing NT women who will not take me serious.
Although I am a guy who studies abroad (studying abroad in my country is a hot thing) and came back to my hometown during COVID, and still don't have a gf, cause I have social skills of a 13 years old.
Also fellow NDs feel free to share relationship experiences.
|
aspergers
|
I have APD and speak or have studied several foreign languages. Listening comprehension can be hard thanks to the APD but I've always been good at pronunciation, even in Mandarin. Recently I've come across a few posts of other people also saying that they have APD but have really good pronunciation in foreign languages, so I'm curious if it's related or if those few accounts were just total coincidences--or if it could be something else.
|
ADHD
|
I have a fear or anxiety about starting tasks. Specifically, checking my business email, assuming it'll be something negative. But I avoid doing things because of a fear or nervousness that I cannot explain. It could be a miniscule task such as responding to an email from a friend or client that would be easy to do and could be a positive situation. I am not sure if this is my ADHD (for which I've been diagnosed) or general anxiety. Anyone else feel this way ?
|
ADHD
|
Hi friends!!! just wanted to share a personal achievement, managed to fight off the ADHD tonight and I fully cleaned and organised the house bathroom (may have been a week late on the rota, but I did a FULL deep clean and went above and beyond) and I also threw away all the rubbish in my room and did all my dishes!!!! I'm going to try and hoover tomorrow and really sort out my room, get a haircut, organise the doctors appointment I've been meaning to get for months, and get some meds for other random stuff. Just wanted to share the personal win with some people :)
Yes I did all of this at 3:20am but I think maybe this is my productivity window? I'm finding out more and more about myself and my ADHD every day and this sub is helping me feel less alone. Thank you!
|
ADHD
|
Something has got to be done
In my mind I’ve already begun,
moved on and won
In reality, its all but become one
With things that have been done
It mocks, heckles, and berates me
Pokes, stokes and provokes me
I cringe, I fringe, I wince, and since I’ve all but done the one thing that prevents this hinge, I’ve grown and shown disgust, utter hatred, a full blown patron of this adjunct exclamation
I obsess and possess this revelation as I confess I must address this abhorrent concatenation
Today is the day, with not much dismay
I sway, as to ponder as I do in the day, to see that this gets done, because enough is enough and if I can just get one! I can still say I did the dishes today.
Edit: I flaired this as “reminder” because I’m sure someone needs to do the dishes today…
Edit: also, sorry about the format/spacing I’m on mobile and copied from my notes and Reddit doesn’t want to cooperate because it looks different than how I edit it so I just gave up!
|
ADHD
|
i’ve never had a particularly easy time going to sleep—it always takes me at least 45 minutes to actually fall asleep whether or not i am tired, because i think too much. it’s easier when i have white noise going (love my box fan) but generally every night is the same and i end up getting too frustrated to sleep anyway. sometimes i put things on tv but the stupid thing is i get too interested in it and can’t sleep anyway lol.
however the podcast Sleep With Me has been a fucking life saver ever since i discovered it four years ago. basically it is just this guy telling stories for an hour and it’s meant to keep you company while you try to sleep. but the thing is that the stories are just interesting and funny enough to calm your racing thoughts, but not interesting enough that you want to stay awake to listen to them. they’re literally all nonsense so you won’t miss anything, but his dry humor makes him a comforting presence while you’re tossing and turning to go to bed. i won’t have explained this well enough but i really urge you to just try it and see what you think.
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I am having a very bad episode of OCD. It’s so bad in fact I feel like my life is over....please someone tell me if I’m overreacting or if I should truly be concerned. So, at my apartment there are many ant beds with ant killer powder on them. I was carrying my book bag to my car one day and my book bag strap dragged across one of the beds with the ant killer. Later, I wiped down the strap with a Lysol wipe. I cannot remember if I used the same wipe or another one (I really hope I used another) to wipe down the bottom of my bag, then. I had forgotten my notebook was inside. I then went to go wash my hands, and inspected my notebook to see if it had gotten wet. I could not decide if the notebook had gotten wet, or it was just cold. I then put the notebook on a table and forgot about it. My entire family helped me move yesterday, and the notebook was touched. Then, all of my other belongings were touched as well. I am TERRIFIED that the notebook did indeed get wet and soaked up the ant killer. Now literally all my belongings have been exposed if so. I feel like I’m in danger and have endangered my entire family, since they were handling said objects in the move. I expressed this worry to my mom, and she wasn’t concerned. She reassured me it was my OCD and that I’m thinking too deeply into it. Someone please help me. I am very distressed and just want to get back to my life. I feel like my family and I are going to be slowly poisoned over time and die. I want to cry.
|
OCD
|
Hey, everyone.
A bit of background; I grew up in an emotionally and somewhat physically abusive household. My mother is psychotic, and didn’t take her medication. She’d have frequent episodes of squeezing “worms” out of her face and being entirely delusional and out of touch with reality most of the time. My eldest brother was physically abusive toward my mother and sister, and my mother would purposely put me in harms way in hopes of shielding herself from my brother. Police were involved. I witnessed countless traumatic things as a young child, most of which I didn’t remember until recently when I started seeing a therapist, who asked about these kind of things. It all started at 4 years old and 12 years later, it’s still happening. It happens less frequently and (usually) not as severe. So, to the part about me forgetting a chunk of my childhood: My brother and I were talking the other night and a few traumatic memories came up. We also realised that (we think, roughly) 1 year and a half - 2 years of our lives are just gone. Blank. We’re pretty sure this has something to do with witnessing even more terrible things that our brains must’ve shut out. (Also to add in, this isn’t the abusive brother, this is my other older brother) my therapist said she thinks I may have PSTD and that she’ll look into it with me. I’m not necessarily saying that I have PTSD, I’m not really one to self diagnose. Though, is this common? I’ve been having flashbacks the past few years the more I’ve started to remember and think about my childhood, usually waking up from them in the middle of the night. But I didn’t even realise that I had a whole chunk of my life missing until a day or two ago. Any comments are really appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
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ptsd
|
my boyfriend had been sexually assaulting me and raped me, but i didn’t realize what was really happening. when i did, i talked it through w/ him. he said sorry, won’t do it again & cried. so we’re moving on. but i feel it hurt me a lot, emotionally. i feel like my body isn’t mine, it’s dirty, i want to take it off. i cry often now, thinking abt the rape all the time. i’m so hurt. what do i do? i still love him
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ptsd
|
I really love Star Wars but every so often I get really annoyed with the fact that it's supposed to be in a different galaxy in the past and yet it's full of humans.
If it didn't have that line at the beginning I'd have no problem with the idea of it being in the future.
Every time I remember that fact it ruins my enjoyment of it and I have to suppress the thought so that I can carry on enjoying it.
It's silly cos I know the whole thing is totally made up and a lot of stuff in it probably doesn't make sense. But I get really hung up on this one little sentence.
Anyone else have this sort of problem?
|
aspergers
|
pls dont feel obligated to respond with advice unless you want to. idk what else to do. ive asked my parent for therapy but we dont have insurance for that so that was the end of the conversation. ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. (sort of) recently ive switched brand name pills of birth control and i wonder if its caused my thoughts. i dont get horny anymore with my boyfriend like i used to. i first went through a very scary phase that i didnt love my boyfriend anymore. that terrified me. it lasted a while but went away. a couple weeks ago it came back and now my mind is telling me that i dont like him anymore because im a lesbian. im not homophobic WHATSOEVER but i do not wanna be gay. i cant picture myself being gay. i feel so guilty because i used to watch lesbian porn but i havent recently and i feel like that plays a part in this. i was crying and praying the other night to just let this be over and let me believe that im not gay. i dont wanna be gay. i wanna be with my boyfriend for my life but my thoughts wont let me believe that. its totally changed me. every time i see a girl on social media i have to think to myself if im turned on and that makes me feel so fucking gross and not like me. i looked up HOCD and it sounds accurate but again my anxiety tells me its not tru. idk what to do. im so miserable. im having really bad thoughts.
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OCD
|
Do any of you tend not to ask many questions when you are with a friend.?
|
aspergers
|
Hey you’re feeling ok? Let me swoop that from ya! It’s like slipping on the ice, bam you hit the ground and it takes forever to recover.
*lays on ground in silence*
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ptsd
|
I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD, the works lmao. Is it normal to feel so tired & sluggish all of the time? Even shortly after just waking up or before even doing anything productive? It’s so hard when I have things to do, but I have no energy to do them, for no direct reason. I’m not really sure how to find the energy. As soon as I wake up, I want to go back to sleep. Does anybody have any advice or tips?
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depression
|
Hey everyone!
I have 2 moods and 1 core thought that never leave me.
1) **Mood 1**: Endless energy. Sometimes My body just heats up to 45°C and I become a burst-spinning being of astral energy that can do anything with anyone. I feel so strong I could tear down reality.
2) **Mood 2**: Shadow of myself. Most of the time I'm just exhausted, tired and dizzy. I can't stand or walk straight, feel like the world is shaking like on a ship and no matter how much I eat I never have enough. I always want to eat and drink more. Everything hurts as if I did a special workout for each and every body region. I often walk into things because I fail to adjust my route. Sometimes in the mornings instead of working I just sit on a chair and recover a bit.
**Core thought**: Productivity
I feel like I'm never doing enough. I feel like time is running away and I could do so much more every day. I do what I'm told as good as I can but I can't focus for shit and can't get any motivation for anything at all so things end up okayish good. I know I could do so much better but I feel like I don't have any control over how well I do.
Now the usuals. I do use a planner. I do drink only water most of the time. I do eat breakfast. I do eat lunch and dinner. I do go outside every day. I do get a regular mild workout. I do eat vegetables on a routine. I do try to sleep 8 hours a day tho the entire shit turns it usually into 7.
​
I really appreciate what I do right now and don't wanna quit again. I dropped out of school before and re-entered this summer. My grades are good, usually Bs but I'm very exhausted all of the time and I'm often missing because my body just hurts so much and my mind is so exhausted I stay up longer than I should and then sleep even longer.
Tho laying down when your entire body hurts and going to sleep feels great. Pain is like an indicator for productivity in my head.
If i'd drop out of school again that would be it. And I'm already disabled. No job is taking me, not even supermarkets for christmas shifts on minimum wage. And why drop out of school? I'm so solid in all classes but physics and chemistry which are both not mandatory that I am one of the best in my class. Even the teachers think I can easily get a what would translate to a college degree with ease.
So what do? I've already been missing a suspicious lot on exactly those days where I have physics and chemistry and school draws out into the evening. I can't miss even more days but I also can't just rest even less.
**TL:DR** Gifted kid always omega exhausted and tired but doesn't want to drop out of school again coz good grades. College degree wouldn't be too hard to achieve grade-wise.
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ADHD
|
FUCK FUCK FUCK OCD I CAN'T WATCH TV SERIES WITHOUT MY FUCKING OCD FLARING UP, I CAN'T WATCH ANIME, I CAN'T FUCKING READ A BOOK AND I CAN'T READ COMICS. I CAN'T FUCKING LISTEN TO AUDIOBOOKS. AND GUESS WHAT I CAN'T PLAY GAMES ANYMORE TOO. FUCK OCD.
|
OCD
|
i think that at heart i am an extrovert but i live in a state of constant self-correction, because i often say things out of nowhere, or things that don’t make sense in the conversation, so i am unfortunately forced to be introverted because of constant social anxiety. i love talking to new people but as i’m holding up a perfectly fine conversation i’m just struggling through this agonizing feeling in my brain that’s saying “THEY DONT THINK YOURE INTERESTING” or “YOURE TALKING TOO MUCH/TOO LITTLE” and god forbid the conversation gets a little awkward because that’s another day i’ll spend by myself in my room because i’m not focused enough to have a conversation with a new person. i can’t stand it—it’s a constant back and forth and now i truly have no idea how other people perceive me because at any point in time i can look totally outgoing and insanely extroverted which is scary but super fun and then another time i will be a reclusive hermit which makes me absolutely fucking miserable but it’s the only thing i know how to confidently do…
that’s my story anyway. how do you find ADHD affects you on the introversion/extroversion spectrum?
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ADHD
|
I have an interview at Oxford university next week and have been trying to prepare. In doing some mock interviews, I realised that I am really bad at answering factual questions. I often forget the question or don't really take it in once they've said it, not remembering the context literally 20 seconds later. Also, i find it really hard to actually answer the question simply and maintain a train of thought. Not sure if this is me being stupid or an ADHD thing.
I consider myself good at the subject I'm applying for, and know a lot of things about it, but just really struggle to explain them clearly. I am just getting frustrated as the answer is always clear in my head but comes out as a jumble of thoughts, often with random facts mixed in.
Has anyone else has a similar interview experience? How might I improve this?
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ADHD
|
It's pretty embarrassing to talk about that for me, but can depression cause difficulty in masturbation?
I have no problem with the erection but it is like I lost interest and I can't "finish" (u know what I mean).
Is possible that it's like that because of depression?
|
depression
|
I found out I have ocd recently (before the school year started) and so I now qualify for certain accommodations for school. These include testing in different rooms and sometime w/ headphones, being able to leave class early, bringing my own sensory stuff etc etc. Super normal stuff.
Today was really rough and I was weirdly anxious throughout the whole day. I felt the need to do my compulsions so much more than usual, which sucks.
My history teacher saw me counting and using my sensory objects and decided to point it out to the entire class saying stuff like "and then there's twitchy wackos like <my name> who can't even sit still for thirty seconds" to prove a point about how the class was rowdy or something.
I keep to myself in that class and I'm a straight a student so I have no clue why he felt the need to draw so much attention to me when I was visibly struggling
Idk just being called a twitchy wacko in front of a bunch of people just made me feel more ashamed of my condition. Do u guys think I'm overreacting? Feel free to be honest <3
|
OCD
|
I don’t want to do anything other than sleep
I wish I could disappear
I’ve had enough of this life
|
depression
|
for context: i'm 24 years old, trans girl (they/them)
My parents divorced when I was very small. My brother and I went with my mom and our new step-dad. Our biological father would have us on the weekends. My stepdad was an alcoholic white supremacist (proud boy) and my mom was a night-shift nurse. My dad was an alcoholic and a doctor.
When i was 9 years old i discovered porn for the first time. I spent a lot of time on a Mario fangame website and the people there talked about adult topics probably far too often for a forum of that demographic. I learned about 4chan and first visited when i was probably 12. I had discovered shota and loli by 13. I don't know how much I was exposed to, but I know that by the time I was 16 I was consuming shota pretty commonly. Trying to reconnect something. Feeling absolutely disgusting with myself, not understanding why.
When I was in early middle school (5th-6th grade?) I was a compulsive masturbator. I never masturbated in public, though that was difficult. I know that, when at my dad's house for the weekend, I'd often visit my cousins (because my dad was never home). I would surreptitiously masturbate. It became pretty apparent after a while. The most glaring memory I have: my cousin had a friend over; my aunt was sitting on the couch, I was laying on her lap, my cousin and her friend were sitting in front of the couch. I had a blanket over me. I masturbated; my cousin looked over her shoulder and said "is he...?"
Later, while prepping for some cosplay video thing that my cousins would do, that same cousin would step out of the room and show off her naked body for my brother and I, who were just sitting there across the way.
Most of my flashbacks occur in the shower. I had the following very firmly erased from my memory until my ex-wife and I were having sex in the shower. I don't know what exactly these flashbacks are telling me. I see many showers; the one at my mom's house, the one at my dad's house, the one at my cousin's house. I see bodies similar to my mom and my aunt. I feel sensations on my breasts and my anus. I remember very distinctly telling my mom I no longer wished to shower with her, and her being very sad. I recall my step-dad saying "just fuck him already and get it over with."
Another one: my cousin (also trans, and also a csa victim) was in his room. I recall what I thought was... something sexual happening, though I don't know what. I remember saying "I want to be a girl."
And one more: I had recurring nightmares of a form on top of me, fucking me in the middle of the night (PIV).
It's possible the instances of actual assault were very strong fantasies, given my prior exposure to child pornography. I confronted my mom about the shower flashbacks; she said she never showered with me, that she stopped bathing me after 4th grade. She linked me to an article by the False Memory Syndrome Foundation, implying these memories were delusional. I have no symptoms of psychosis. I know somebody was in the shower with me, a female figure like my mom's body. I remember the sensations, and I remember the distinct features of the shower at my mom's house. Though, I also have memories of my aunt in the shower (not with me...?)
The strongest point of contention for me regarding this account is that I discovered 4chan *on my own*. Nobody i knew sent me the link; i just got curious. It doesn't follow the traditional pattern of abuse.
It's possible that these are false memories; extrapolations from sensations and suggestion. My ex-wife and I were deeply codependent. My mom's hypothesis is that my knowledge of my wife's CSA/incest encouraged me to create these memories. (This suggestion was before she even knew about my prior interest in child pornography, though she knows about my current struggles with attraction to minors). This also would be a strange thing for my wife to suggest my way into - they literally divorced me because of all of this trauma, the discomfort it makes them feel, and the potential danger it puts our child in. (I agree with this decision; our relationship was falling apart anyways.)
My current thoughts on what happened: My mom and my aunt knew about my openness to sex, and about my transgender identity. Perhaps my cousin and I were correctively raped/assaulted?
idk. idk what I hope to gain from this post... critical examination, perhaps? i guess it's just nice to share my story.
|
ptsd
|
I have an intense fear of someone using chemicals to hurt me. Has anyone experienced this? I just need to know someone else has had these thoughts
|
OCD
|
I could barely hit my finger with the brush, but I loved nail art and all I did was watching videos related to the topic.
I started painting my nails every day, and I gave up a lot when I didn’t succeed. Eventually though, after a few months, I got very good at it, and now I’m honestly really freaking good.
I could probably be a licensed nail technician if I wanted to by now, lol.
|
aspergers
|
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