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My common law wife of 3 1/2 year passed away last week, She had a heart attack in her sleep. Im lost, she was my rock. She taught me so much and always wanted to protect me and help me, see me succeed. I wouldnt be here if it wasn't for her love and caring. I tried my best to privide and always loved and cared for her, even if i sometimes got caught up in my own issues. I let her down and I'm just lost right now. I have a good support system of family and friends. Even been seeing a counselor for an unrelated matter, going to have to let them know about this now.
I just needed to vent to some internet strangers. | depression |
[edit : please read carefully because I made it very clear that it was not that they disagreed that I had a problem with. It was the fact that they responded as if they could decide what is and what isn’t.
People are also confusing the part we’re I showed the article to a mutual friend because I wasn’t in a state we’re I could explain it well. That person promised they would read it and then lied saying they were done with the topic. I would have rather they say they had no interest than say yes and later lie.]
How to explain to neurotypical person to understand some phrases or words they should not use around me?
I am almost 3 years now since I was diagnosed with aspergers( but here we’re I live they use autism as a broad term)
At first I kept this very private and only shared with a few people that I trusted.
Outside of family there was a friend and she was the first person I told.
In May I mentioned to her how a certain fictional character from an anime had over 30 traits that overlap with autism. I then explained some research I had found showing how often mental illnesses/dissabilities and neurodivergent traits are used in media and passed off as personality quirks. Which really hurts all of us because it dilutes the traits with personality so the rest of the public does not distinguish between one and the other. (Ps I am not blaming the authors for not knowing I am just making awareness of a situation)
I will explain more of that below after I finish telling my story.
I also told her that this doesn’t mean she now has to like the character.
Her response:
Even thou that character has all those traits that belong to authistic people I do not recognize him as autistic. I don’t have problem with autistic people I have autistic friends.
This upset me. Not because she disagreed with the research but because of the way she phrased it.
What right does she have to decide what is an isn’t autistic? Even if it’s a fictional character.
This really caught me off guard. And I only wrote back. “I’m upset” she asked why.
I tried making a comparison.
And she responded with the same literall thing she had just responded with.
At that point I cut off communication.
Apparently she thinks I am in the wrong and that I was forcing her to accept the research.(when I wasn’t I was only upset she spoke to me the way she did, she didn’t even realize that was the issue despite me letting her know)
All I wanted was for her to watch her language.
I spoke to a mutual friend and they completely ignored that part and just wrongly focused on making it about me forcing her to accept the research.
I was already affected by the situation so I sent her(the mutual friend) the link and told them that this will explain what I mean a lot better than my own words.
She promised to read it and later on lied to me telling me that we were done with that topic. I didn’t bother arguing with them about that because I despise it when people break their promises and lie.
All of this happened and it caused the worst mental breakdown I have ever had I spent over 3 month depressed and being highly emotional. Only other close friends and family were there for me and they expressed concern thinking I would self harm. Every day I would just cry any time. I was sleeping about 15 hours a day.
Another mutual friend told me that she knows exactly what she did wrong and that she hasn’t apologized because of pride.
The research
The research and articles I found explained how in many cases authors are unaware of the fact that traits they are using are associated with mental conditions.
An example is maybe the author interacted with someone who is autistic and they did not know, and so they made a character with all of those traits and said the character was an introvert or an arrogant person.
They could have also based the character on another character that was based on another character until eventually arriving at the author that based the character on a real person who was authistic, bipolar etc.
This affects everyone because it is mixing everything up and creating misconceptions. | aspergers |
[Autocruitment](https://www.autocruitment.com/) is able to connect me to studies about PTSD, and they made a post about how those who may have PTSD are eligible for a compensated evaluation in exchange for participation in some medical trial(s). I don't know all the information is, but I am worried about potentially re-traumatizing myself\* or the side effects of medications interacting with the numerous medications that I'm already on. What are the risks here? Is it possible that they'll compensate me for any harm done? Any advice?
\*I talk a lot about my trauma, so I think that would be difficult but not impossible.
Edit: It just connects you to studies. It's more of an email subscription than anything else. I don't think that it's a scam, it just leaves the information up to the individual studies (which could be scams, I admit). This is more of a general question. I understand that each specific study has its own risks and I need to look at those, but just in general, what should I look out for? | ptsd |
Idk where to start... I kno this is a sensitive topic for women esp. But is anyone else an adult female on spectrum taking on the role of stepparenting? I can't seem to find much info about it. Only regarding stepparenting a child w autism. But in this case it's the other way around. I'm a step mom to my husband's 8 yr old NT kid and since moving in w him, its gotten harder for me on numerous levels and I feel I'm in over my head and not qualified for this role. (Esp now that I'm 35 yrs old, going thru burnout, while wanting a baby of my own w him but can't due to infertility, sm which is already painful enough on a daily basis.) And I'm putting myself through emotional and physical issues cuz of it ie) from dealing w his passive aggressive mother, talking to his school teachers, handling all his school stuff in general, the interruptions, the messes the feeling of my husband and I can't go anywhere, etc and feel it's not worth all the masking and anxiety of someone not my own kid. Plus I want one w my husband and did mention were having infertility issues which not helping. Either way stepparenting hard, esp being on the spectrum. It doesn't feel natural. I wish I could shake this feeling. Anyone else relate? | aspergers |
I’m almost 16 (I’ll turn 16 tomorrow), and life honestly sucks. My mental health is dwindling, and it’s affecting my physical health as well, causing eye pain from doing nothing but being on my phone, back pain from slouching over things, either in exhaustion or just not enough will to hold myself up. What really upsets me is that neither of my brothers have mental health issues, and neither do my parents. It’s just me. Mental health issues do run on my dads side of the family though. But now my doctor is suspecting that I either have ADHD or ADD, so that would just be another thing I’d have to take medication for. Another thing that really lowers my mental health is how unaccepting my family is. I support BLM, they believe in ALM. I’m a part of the lgbtqia+ community, they’re all homophobic and transphobic. My belief differ so much from theirs, that I’m always teamed up against in arguments. I keep having self harm thoughts, but I refuse to listen since I’m around 4 months clean at this point. When I first started, my parents weren’t that concerned since I wasn’t cutting. But I was, however, scratching the skin off of one of my hands. Sometimes I think everyone would just be better off without me. Really the only reason I’m still around is because of my best friend, my cat, and my dream to become the next big faceless streamer. If you got this far, thank you for listening to me. | depression |
Recently had a few bad things happen to me, lost job and bad break up. Sick of waking up and suffering every day. I just want the pain to stop. People just tell me to speak to family or professional but it doesn’t help | depression |
my friend said that her auntie was on her depression again and I'm afraid of the thought of developing depression. Im always like this, it seems like i have feel of developing mental illnesses. But can depression be manageable? | OCD |
I was diagnosed with this condition in elementary school how ever I am not sure if it was a misdiagnoses. But it could be. I also had ADD and ADHD
I was repetitive, and there were some incidents where I did not make eye contact with some people (but I do not do that any more these 2 things are signs of Asperger's) I noticed that people with Asperger's are quiet and not social and like being alone rather than interacting with their classmates ( I am not like that all) So i am not sure anymore. I did research and apparently there is this condition called echolalia where basically a person is repetitive (not always associated with Asperger's) so i really do not know what i actually have | aspergers |
Hello!
I'm wondering if any of you have experience with music therapy? I'm trying to understand how music therapy is used around the world so if you could share the country you live in and your experience with music therapy I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!! | aspergers |
Hi guys, I’ve just turned 40 (well Feb) and have decided it’s time for a career change.
I wanna do a trade, specifically being an electrician, but I’m worried my focus and attention deficit will stop me from succeeding.
I’m going to talk to my doctor about appropriate medications etc, but I wondered if anyone had any similar experiences and tips for how to approach this? | ADHD |
I seriously don't get it, our condition has robbed us of so much in life, why would anyone want to stay like this? For me autism has been a extremely hurtful force in my life, it's the reason why I'm such a shitshow now, even when I'm doing normal teenage shit I can't have fun because I'm not on the same wavelength as everyone else. Why would anyone want to have their autism????? | aspergers |
People have been posting about this recently... I'm wondering if anyone has a short and sweet response they give when someone says this either in person or online that has worked?
What has helped you get across to people who say this? What does the other person find most compelling when they are told what OCD really is? | OCD |
I was going to donate some plasma because I’m in school again and broke so when I go to do my vitals there is this elderly employee who is new and her stress was getting to me, she could barely reach over the counter so she got my vitals with me in a weird position. I felt bad but I’m not gonna lie, I was extremely annoyed; so much my pulse was 105. She had a bit of an attitude too. I was told to redo it in 10 minutes but I couldn’t meditate well enough to lower my pulse and it stayed the same so I decided to go back tomorrow.
I don’t understand, I am aware that the employee was struggling, but why am I so furious to the point that I can physically feel it? I don’t know if I’m a douche bag now. | aspergers |
When I’m trying to express a concern I find myself second guessing myself. Wondering if it’s valid or if I’m just freaking out because my brain is broken. It’s so frustrating ugh. Like I can’t trust my own gut anymore because it tells me everything is bad. Dating is not fun. | ptsd |
Let me tell you my story.
I’ve had signs of Asperger’s since my childhood and my family dismissed it as me just trying to wind them up / needing to learn “social skills”. For example I had a hard time making friends and didn’t know how people perceived me, I also said bad things without meaning to. And picking up social norms. But now, I’m 14 and I’ve done some research and I think I’m likely to have Asperger’s and I told my mum. However she said I was attention seeking and mocking me as “mentally ill” calling me being fake and refusing to go to the doctors (GP im in the uk) and that was 3 weeks ago. We live under the same roof but don’t really talk anymore.
So now I’ve got some options however none can have my mum involved in the process. My options are:
- go to the SEN department in my school, which I have no idea what to say “hi miss I think I have Asperger’s”
- go to school therapy (again I have no clue how or what I should say)
- let it out to my dad who does not really understand this stuff so highly unlikely
- wait 2 years so I can book an appointment by myself
- keep it all in I’m being stupid.
I really need some help as I’m so confused now and a diagnosis (or not being diagnosed) would be a huge relief for me.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day. | aspergers |
Im in college taking a fine arts program, and I’m really struggling for some reason. Its hard for me to keep up with the work sometimes and it really sucks. Its an art program, so you would think that it’d be the easiest program to take, but i find my self falling behind a lot, and not being able to communicate with the teachers properly.
Like today for example, i let my anger take over and sent a rude email to my teacher again. The teacher has been really a not good teacher and i told him off pretty much. The problem is i feel so stupid after sending emails like that, like just wondering what i was thinking. Like at the time it seems fine, but then when i calm down a bit i see that its not the right thing to do no matter how much of a shit teacher he is. Its like i have no filter and just say the first things that pop into my head with out thinking, its going to get me trouble, how can i not let these kinds of things happen ? | aspergers |
The detective apologized for not getting back to me sooner.
She asked me to get a PPO to strengthen my case and to make sure to state that I fear for my life.
Detective will be reopening the case but it will take a month to do so.
I don't want to do this anymore but I heard he assaulted the girl he dated after me too.
He needs to be put away.
He cannot keep doing this to women. | ptsd |
Hi everyone! I just need some advice on this new obsession I got today.
I have this new obsession that gives me so much anxiety. When I’m scrolling on tiktok or Instagram reels I come across videos of partners asking eachother hypothetical questions and it triggers my cheating OCD so much.
The one that affected me the most was someone asked their girlfriend “would you cheat on me for 1 Billion Dollars” and I started panicking what if I would? I think I nearly even thought I would because of the money and I feel so sick I never want to cheat on my partner and even if that situation was true I’d gladly turn down 1 Billion. I went back to the video and kept checking my feelings and thoughts. Yeah it’s a lot but I would not cheat on my partner who I love so much for money.
I never even thought of that before seeing that video. But I’m getting thoughts as I’m writing this like “you should or that I would” and it’s making me feel very guilty and sad.
Does anyone relate with these obsession? What should I do? :( | OCD |
Had sex September 15th, on the pill which I take religiously and used VCF. Got dumped by this guy September 23rd. I’ve taken two pregnancy tests since then, I know it’s a bit early for them to work but I can’t help myself. I just have constant thoughts that I am pregnant by this bad guy. My period is irregular anyway so I can’t tell if I’ve missed it, but my breasts are sore. Could be a sign that my periods coming or just stress from the breakup. But I’m driving myself crazy because it feels like there’s nothing I can do about it right now. | OCD |
Hey guys, I was wondering if I should mention to my boss about my ASD to help me gain a new role/roster line for multiple reasons, the main one that it would be a consistent routine if I get it? I’m in Australia if that helps, I just don’t know if it would be worth it but I really really want the role and I need her approval before applying. | aspergers |
A couple of weeks ago my psycologist said I had asperger, that is a word, i guessed this could be a good way to introduce me to this concept so here I'am.
I just know about the google description for this so i really haven't investigated too much, nothing has changed too much but it is a thing to proccess i guess, i don't have many questions really but i just wanted to see how was the whole panorama | aspergers |
My gut literally tells me that I want kill and rape people but ok.
All these “listen to your heart”, “trust your gut”, “be your true self” bullshit sayings have really made my OCD worse. They make you doubt yourself and they make thoughts seem so overly important. | OCD |
Anybody still have semblances of pre-OCD tendencies? One's that are not inherently disorderly, but happen often. I still feel the need to have every outcome of anything mapped in my head (not in a dysfunctional way, though). Most of the time, it's related to writing (or other things I love), but it can also be on random things.
Example: I saw a fictional characters' arm in a design, and I thought to myself. 'Why isn't his arm broken?' for absolutely no reason other than wanting an alternative in my head. | OCD |
Ive been having nerve pain in my arms for the past few years that keeps me from doing the things that I used to love doing. I cant pickup anything heavier then 5lb without my arms feeling like they are on fire, and it is getting worse.
Last month a friend of mine gave me his pistol to hold. I was pulling back on the hammer, racking it. Afterwards, I couldnt put any weight on my finger because of how much pain I was in. Ive gone to several doctors, had several tests done(all of which come back clear) done 2 rounds of physical therapy(Just finished my second) and nothing helps.
Ive even tried nerve pain medication, and that doesn't even help, it just makes me more tired then I usually am. Im 24 and I dont want to live the rest of my life with this. I feel like I'm running out of time. Im currently working a part time job and keep everything I make because I dont have any bills to pay. I was planning to move out in less than a year for another possible job, but, once I move out, I wont be able to apply because all of my money will be going bills. The cost of euthanasia is around $10,000 and it is going to be a very long time until Im able to save up for that once Im on my own.
The arm pain has been a contributing factor to my crippling depression and anxiety. It has kept me from "experiencing life to fullest". I have crippling health anxiety that prevents me from doing the sports/ going after my dreams that I want to out of fear of getting permanent injuries. Even small little injuries make my thoughts go off of the deep end. Nothing I have done in the past 7 years has helped me. Therapy,medication, nothing. Mindfulness techniques, and trying to challenge my thoguhts don't work either
I have fallen far beyond in my school because of it. I just dont know what to do anymore. | depression |
Today has been one of the worst days of my life. I’m so sad, and I’m so stressed about school, I just can’t function rn. I’m getting mad because I can’t do anything to the point that I kicked in drywall. Fuck. | depression |
I see this sub, and most of the posts are venting about our troubles (justified), and NTs (pointless).
Most NTs who don't have ND family members wouldn't even think about understanding or accomodating us.
What I find lacking is explanations about the workings of the NT brain. How do they think in various situations? What is their priority? Why so they think and act a certain way?
I only know 1 post which discusses this...
It's sad, because we as NDs would be immensely helped by knowing this (an analytical treatment of the NT mind details would be awesome). We would be able to:
1. Understand difference in motivation. So much of this sub is trying to fit in, but if we realize that our motivations are completely different, there is not point in acting like them.
2. Help us know why NTs behave in certain situations so we can plan around it keeping us at the center. Instead of trying to, again, fit in.
Secondly, there is very little information about earning a livelihood. What kind of careers can be suitable for us? Are there places which are ND friendly/founded by NDs/need our skills specifically?
I understand the frustration, but those posts don't help this community.
It's time we stop relying on NTs analysis of us and their treatment, and spend time creating our own worldview of ourselves and NTs. | aspergers |
I don't even know now if its possible. my partner wants me to get driving lessons, meaning he no longer feels comfortable helping me relearn. I worry if i don't relearn he'll grow resentful. I feel so hopeless about this. I wish i wasn't like this.
I'll spare you the details, but i was in driving alone when someone hit my car, injuring me in the process. This happened when i was 16, nearly 10 years ago now. And I still can't drive.
My parents were kind enough to give my partner and I their old car since neither of us even had one. Now my partner drives me everywhere, including to a 4am shift at work (he must really love me). The plan was that he could take me out and help me regain my driving skills on my days off. We Started in a small parking lot but then jumped to the 10 minute drive to work, a route which uses highways. It was going okay until i messed up with merging and nearly hit the guard rail, my partner had to call out to stop me. I was fine but then i swerved into another lane because i was scared when another car passed me and got honked at. All of this happened very fast and gave me so much anxiety that my legs were shaking so bad i could hardly control my speed. I wanted to cry and every car on the road frightened me.
A couple weeks later my partner was driving, it was raining a bit, but we came up to a really bad, multi-car accident, and i tried to look away but couldn't find the right direction to look and saw too much. I froze and closed my eyes and could no longer speak. We made it out of the area fine but i felt horrible.
Even if i could drive again, what happens if i see an accident?? I can't loose my ability to focus on driving just because i see something i don't like.
I'm just so upset, I want to be able to drive again, but i never liked it to start. learning was an awful experience, my crash was awful, its all just awful.
I don't even know now if its possible. my partner wants me to get driving lessons, meaning he no longer feels comfortable helping me relearn. I worry if i dont relearn he'll grow resentful. I feel so hopeless about this. I wish i wasn't like this.
Has anyone with car accident PTSD on here been able to drive again after? how long did it take you to get back to that point? | ptsd |
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[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/o8w2ze) | OCD |
Hi all,
My psychiatrist prescribed me ambilify and Zoloft for my OCD. And I can’t bring myself to take it:/
My mom went and picked up the prescription without asking (I’m 23 and don’t live with her) and gaslit me about taking them “you’ll gain weight” “this is for crazy people” etc.
I just want to feel better and reach a level of normalcy again. But now I’m too anxious to take the medication.
Has anyone had experiences With Zoloft or ambilify that have been beneficial in terms of OCD?
Thank you❤️ | OCD |
I recently went to doctors to ask for a referral to the psychiatrist because I have been suffering from 'panic attacks' for almost 2 years now and I always thought that it was anxiety. (I am not diagnosed with anything) When I described my symptoms to the doctor (flashbacks, uncontrollable crying and crazy thoughts), he suspects I have PTSD.
I apologise for sounding ignorant, but the thing is, I always thought that to have PTSD, I had to go through seriously traumatic events like rape, violence etc. In my case, the things I went through were not as severe in my opinion. I went through a loss, sexual harassments here and there, and repeated betrayal from people who I love most over the years but I feel like it's only normal for literally everyone in this world to go through it...
I'm worried about my appointment with the psychiatrist because I don't want to seem as if I am overreacting. | ptsd |
I know relationship OCD is a thing. My relationship has been a source of anxiety and OCD for me before, but it’s become very distressing lately.
My SO and I have been together for over two years. We have a great relationship, but lately I have just been fixating on things that have gone wrong in the past and telling myself things about the relationship that I know are false. Still, it’s very difficult to get these thoughts out of my head. But also as I’ve been plagued with these kinds of thoughts, I have been heavily relying on my SO for comfort. That tells me that somehow my brain knows all the dumb things that have been going through my head aren’t true. If someone was truly hurting me, why would I go to that person to make it better? That makes no sense (short of Stockholm syndrome or something). Just wondering if anyone has ever dealt with similar feelings. | OCD |
Before I say this I wanna say I’m not in school lol
So this is a thought I had, I feel like a psycho but it makes sense to me. So people carry knifes and guns for self protection correct? So is it wrong for a kid to have a knife or gun for protection? Weapons should never be in school at all but I’m saying if they were it shows people who pick on younger kids that they have a way to fight back IF needed. Obviously killing is NEVER justifiable in that sense only if someone else is trying to kill you. But if a kid carried that just tells the kids who pick on others to mind their business. And if they WERE threatened they have a way to fight (as in shoot or stab them in the leg). Like I said killing is never justified in that area and weapons shouldn’t be in school. But if it was does that make me a bad lesson to think it’s justifiable to have kids carry something for self control? And if people end up harming them they can use it by stabbing or shooting in the leg? I feel like an evil person but in all reality it’s no different then women carrying guns. Men can easily do something and if they have that the men know they have a way to defend
I’m really afraid I’m psycho because of this. Like I said. I never justify school shootings. But if the kids being harmed they have a way to shoot or stab in the leg just to protect themself
So all and all what I’m saying is I don’t think it’s really bad for kids to have a form of self protection IF they only use it for self protection and NEVER use it to kill (also preferably not a gun because that can get out of hand really fast. Preferably a knife because that’s less harmful) | OCD |
I'm currently looking for a job and I get a couple of phone calls a day with HRs asking if I want to go to their interview proceeding with telling me the details about the job.
I barely want to pick up the phone, cuz:
I have no clue if I want to go or not, whatever you're saying goes through my ears and turns into a mess in my head!
I hear the words you're saying but there's no single chance I can make a picture of your offer in my head, let alone make a decision to go right away.
Don't ask me if I'm interested or will go to an interview.
Just send me an email for God's sake! | ADHD |
I have been in a friendship for the past few months that ive agonized over amd hyper-analyzed to the point of mental breakdowns. We both struggle with out respective issues but as things went on i found that i was trying so hard to help them while i couldnt help myself and i was deteriorating. I love this friend, i love the positive side of our relationship, and ill miss it dearly. Today i decided to end the friendship after so much mental pain and fear. I didnt want to hurt her, but i couldnt hurt myself anymore. This all makes it sound so selfish and shallow without the full details- and maybe it is- but i made the decision and now its setting in that she is gone from my life and i feel so empty and scared and im scared that i made the wrong choice, that i abandoned her selfishly. Im so tired and i have been feeling so awful about myself- this doesnt help. | depression |
This is kind of hard to explain but Starting this February I get annoyed while playing video games. I can't see the whole screen clearly unless I look at a part of the screen directly. Like health bars for instance, I get annoyed that I have to take my eyes off of the main game to look at them. Same with maps etc. I know this is how eyesight works but I can't stop myself from getting annoyed by it.. I have never had this problem before this February. I used to just play games no problem, but now I can't stop thinking about this even when not playing and idk how to stop it. | OCD |
for me it's usually music. good music will scratch the itch just right and i'll stim like a maniac. and you just want to close your eyes and live in a song. be quiet and drive by deftones is particularly good today. i've been having a lot of dopamine chasing days recently so this feels pretty amazing | ADHD |
I just received notice that I passed the Uniform Bar Exam for my state, and this means that I will soon become an attorney. It has been a decade journey from community college but I am very grateful.
Lawyers who are on the autism spectrum, at least openly, seem to be quite rare indeed. Anyone else on here a lawyer? What was your story? | aspergers |
Might be a long shot but one time I found a link to this pdf/book that was about adapting your lifestyle to be conducive to ADHD. It was chock full of tips on how to set up your house and daily life in a way that works for you.
I think I originally saw it on twitter, perhaps from adhdalien or blackgirllostkeys but I wasn't able to find it on there or this sub so maybe someone has it saved.
Specific things I remember:
- written by a man (I think)
- had a line in it suggesting removing the doors on cabinets to remove a visual barrier to your belongings
- im associating the color red or orange with it so maybe the cover page was that color?
I'm gonna go dig through my many bookmarks again but if this rings a bell to anyone help me and any readers out ;~; | ADHD |
so, recently I've been feeling down and I don't really know how to describe it or how to explain it in a way that it makes sense for others. I never really spoke about my feelings online, and on reddit actually. I'm somewhat new to the reddit community but I would like to share my story
I've been going in and out of jobs at the moment and it has been very difficult for me mentally, I'm 20 years old and I currently live with my parents, well technically with my dad, I have a good relationship with my mom but I don't get to see her a lot because I'm trying to make sure all my bills are paid at my dads house (gas, car insurance, phone bill, clothes, anything misc.) . I feel like I'm in a rut mentally, I don't know how to get out of it because it is consuming me and it's a really shitty feeling, I feel somewhat lost and hopeless, like there is nothing good coming up for me. Currently as of typing this (11/26/2021) I'm not enrolled in college but my plan is to pay off debt that I have with school since I can't go back until I pay it off in full...
It's just been weird because it's really hard to save for me, money wise, I don't know if it's just me in a fog or it's me unable to do the task since I'm very proficient with computers and also mechanical keyboards since that is a hobby of mine.
I just feel scatterbrained and everything is just blurry mentally and it feels really shitty, I do go to the gym but its hard to build a schedule that I will actually follow consistently, although life is very inconsistent and certain things are out of my control, I do unfortunately use nicotine in the form of disposables, I'm slowly starting to quit now after about 5-6 years of use. It doesn't serve me anymore like it did and I want to be able to better myself, and I know I need to get rid of the substance (nicotine) out of my life for good, I'm also a cannabis user who frequently uses, I would wanna say 2-3 times a day but some days I won't smoke at all, I feel like cannabis helps take the edge off the dagger that depression and anxiety holds upon me.
This is a little bit about me, I would love to talk to you guys/girls, I've been having just a rough time and I would like to just reach out to others because I rarely do so...
For whomever read this whole thing, you mean a lot sincerely, I'd love to hear what everyone would like to talk about :)
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So I wonder if you do this too. I usually do this while alone. I kinda happen to imagine a scene in my head involving some one saying something to me or something about something and I kinda automatically "reenact" the scene, like I say how they might say the words out loud and then I feel weird like why do I do this but it kinda happens tic ishly. DAE do this or relate to this? | OCD |
Has anyone who is on vyvanse gotten help through patient assistance programs? Specifically the manufacturers price assistance program? My state medicaid doesn't cover it and out of pocket it is over $400. Even with the biggest discount it is still over $200. I'm going to apply for assistance but I wanted to know if anyone has actually used it and what their experience was.
Thanks. | ADHD |
Im having false attraction obsessively how do i deal with this (but i have low anxiety) now im thinking if this is really false attraction, don't its just feel real specially when your watching romance anime pls help if you don't mind | OCD |
For example, you're texting a friend and they say something offensive/ignorant
and you get anxious thinking you were "part of the act" by being part of the conversation.
Anyone? I feel like it leads me to avoid conversations sometimes. | OCD |
Imagine you are good at something like really really really good at something and one day you fail at that thing when it was needed for the person you loved the most.imo it's the most hurtful thing that could ever happen to someone.its like why did it have to be that person out of all people.
Can anyone relate? | depression |
Does anyone have any tips or tricks when it comes to dealing with noise sensitivity? Especially at night? I live in the city and find it very hard to sleep at night with all the noises and it gets to the point where I get really frustrated. I can’t keep wearing my headphones at night anymore because they start to hurt my ears & the cord always gets tangled.
I’ve looked into sound machines (ones I looked at were too expensive unfortunately), have had an industrial fan on at night, etc. but am wondering what works best for other people? Any recommendations are helpful. Thanks in advance | ADHD |
Hi everyone! Just wanted to share this moment. I've been having hard time for quite a while, and today I woke up actually rested and refreshed! I know that everyone has problems sleeping or not getting enough, but I feel that people with PTSD can appreciate this especially well. I am on sleep meds, so I have been getting enough hours of sleep, but even so I haven't woken refreshed in a long time. I had practical issues, and big changes going on, and I was off my meds and then starting them again... adjusting to new doses and so on. There has been a lot going on, and so for months even after sleeping 8h I still wake up wanting to go to bed immediately. There have been a lot of unsettling dreams or just sleeping a lot and still being tired, dragging through my days, needing to write down all small tasks like do the dishes so I make sure I do anything. A lot of time in bed especially with fatigue while getting back on my PTSD meds. A lot of practical problems making me dreading waking up. And since I was tired all the time every small issue feeling bigger.
And then today I woke rested and refreshed! My room was still messy from the tiring day yesterday, I still have issues to deal with, the weather is still colder and that affects me... but all these things didn't feel as hard and problematic to cope with as yesterday. I didn't feel the need to be horizontal right away after breakfast like I have had for weeks. I was feeling light, rested, restless in a good way, and did dishes and cleaned up after myself without having to think about it or schedule it. There is LACK of the usual heaviness and anxiety in my body and the last time I felt like this must've been 3 months ago, last time I remember. My body feels so much more relaxed that it constantly strickes me as odd, that's how long it's been since I felt this way. I am actually smiling writing this. I haven't felt like I have energy in so long, I was starting to feel all the resting and being in bed was a big my fault,being lazy or something- and now I am sharply reminded what normal energy feels like. Now that I have some, I don't feel like being in bed. I can actually think more clearly, I have enough energy to want to do things. It's amazing feeling. I just wanted to share to everyone struggling with sleep on here. It can get better:). (And I know- I'm taking sleep meds. It's less because I wouldn't sleep otherwise, and more because I have trouble falling asleep. But maybe in the future I'll be able to get off them. But for now being able to fall asleep around the same time feels important for getting healthier. Anyway, wanted to share this feeling with all of you who know what it's like waking every night from nightmares and feeling sick and exhausted. It gets better. | ptsd |
Anyone of you had experienced some synesthesia? And did you have this when you have some days with not resting at all and so many mixed emotions of anger and frustration?
I had yesterday night before going to sleep when I wrote one text some words become in red. I don't remember which words became red now.
Excuse my English is not my first language. | aspergers |
I saw a tiktok recently asking people with ADHD which accent they find themselves slipping into, which got me thinking. Is this really a common ADHD thing?
Minnesotan is the answer. 9 times out of 10 I go full Fargo, but I have a bunch of accents I will pull out depending on the situation.
I also do a lot of impressions. Cartoon characters, celebrities, people I know personally. I've been doing it since I was a kid. Often when I run into people from school, they will ask me to do my impression of our school officer. It was always a big hit.
It had never dawned on me that this is something I do with an amount of regularity. I want to say I'm doing accents or impressions or character voices on an almost daily basis. I know it's at least several times a week, more if I've been particularly social. I just break out into them lol I don't even know how to explain it.
Wtf is this? Do any of you guys do this too? Or some variation of this?
I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. It's like a reactive impulse. I'll do an accent or a voice before I've even thought about it. It just comes out.
And, yes, it's as annoying as it sounds. I've always just equated it to me being a giant asshole. I didn't realize I was anything other than an asshole until I was diagnosed with ADHD last year at age 34.
What the hell is this lol like what purpose does this serve? Is this some weird feature of ADHD or is this something totally unrelated and I'm just a weirdo? | ADHD |
I am feeling so disgusted by myself if I'm awake. And if i sleep i am feeling even shittier.
I cant help but to think things like why even bother living? I dont like me why the fuck should I live with this me?? How long should I live with this pathetic self of mine??????
I wish it wasn't me I'm dealing with | depression |
EDIT: that should be UNDERSTAND US on the title… apparently didn’t catch it before I posted. Sorry!
Full disclosure: first post here - diagnosed officially when I was 10.
I truly feel like the pandemic has brought a lot of things to light, especially the fact that there is even more awareness regarding those on the spectrum through various platforms which is amazing!
However, in the same light I feel those that are NT don’t think we deserve any compassion or even try to understand what makes us different but can make their world a much better place.
Lately, I have just been noticing more and more things that NTs do and quite frankly what they are doing in a lot ways is not good. I wish they would wake up and realize that we are not bad people or worthless.
I am just curious if you all feel the same or how you feel period about how NTs treat you in your walk of life. Hopefully this will be a great conversation! Thanks! | aspergers |
I haven't had a diagnosis to see if I'm on the autism spectrum, but I have a feeling that I might be.
I tend to feel I have struggles with verbal communication. It could be keeping a conversation going in terms of it flowing, making sense to the other person. Sometimes I might have to explain myself a couple of times and it sorts of frustrates me internally.
I would say because of it socialising can be difficult as well not always know how you come across, misunderstanding with people especially in romantic relationships. I feel like I'm much more comfortable by myself than in the company of others.
I wonder if anyone relates to it? | aspergers |
So I’m very depressed rn and ruminating a lot bout my relationship. Also got a kidney infection 🤮🤮. But I need advice towards my relataionship. Could someone maybe text me in privat? | OCD |
Hey friends,
This may be a long shot, but I was doing research awhile back when I came across this technical term that I thought fit my situation perfectly. It’s a term that’s describes when someone basically loses their sexual stimulation/senses due to past trauma/ptsd (sexual or not). The term started with an A (it is not asexual!!). I know I’m not asexual, but most of time during intimacy I just suddenly feel NOTHING.
I’ll be seeing a new therapist soon and I really want to know what this term is so I could bring it up to them and see if this is something that fits my situation. Thanks friends! | ptsd |
So I've been suffering of OCD for the past 4-5 years(got diagnosed in July this year) and my life just got destroyed in that time. Before ocd I had a normal life. I had friends I wasn't depressed every day
I was happy you know. But then I got ocd. Which have gotten worse every year. I lost all my friends. I dont go to school any more and of course i got depression as well. I dont know what to do any more.
I think I've hit rock bottom. I wanna be successful in life. I've got dreams. Right now I dont think I can achieve those. And that makes me very sad. I've lost all my motivation. To make things worse I dont have anyone i can talk to. Who understand what I'm going through. I feel completely lonely even tho I have younger siblings. I hope things will get better soon
I hope I can find some friends at least one. It isn't fun being alone all the time. Although sometimes I need to be alone. Thank you for reading this :)
FUCK YOU OCD | OCD |
So Um yea I was with my cousins 2 weeks ago on vacation and there are my first cousins I text and bond with everyday. Now recently I keep thinking that I look her as a girlfriend and it obviously causes anxiety a bit. Like i look at her I’m like yea I see her as a cousin then a second later I look as her as if I was dating her. Then I look at other girls saying do I look her a cousin or a girlfriend? Yea I’m kinda mad cuz I got done dealing with harm ocd and now it’s this | OCD |
I am pretty sure he is, avoiding eye contact, understanding things too literally, sometimes I feel like he is mimicking others and says things that feels out of place.
But he has better communication skills than me, he made friends with everyone in no time, he makes me feel like I am the absolute worst, even in aspie standards i am terrible. | aspergers |
RANTING/ADVICE HELP!
So not by my choice my husband and his dad wanted to buy this place together for us all to live (5 acres). The house has a master bedroom upstairs and small office (which we’re using for two of our girls currently and our son is sleeping in a crib on our room). There is two bedrooms downstairs that they get and is “theirs” (his sister is living in one room (the bigger room) who is “suppose” to move to Utah in 1-2 years so I was told…one of the conditions of okaying me to live here is knowing she will be out). the other room was the parents until they renovated the whole garage which now is done and has a master bedroom, a bedroom for the younger brother, and a loft. Now it’s for us to “borrow” for our girls to use but any guests that ever stay will stay in that room and the kids all back upstairs during that time. Even to borrow, their other son is living in the rv on the property (not a part of the initial deal he’s a druggy and got kicked out of everywhere with no place to go….there is a space behind the small bedroom downstairs that he has inhabited for gaming and doing weed (one of the initial agreements was he can’t smoke weed at all here otherwise he can’t stay. The parents agreed and they already fell through with no backbone). There is a door to the stairs separating the up and down but we can hear everything and they can hear us (no privacy). The dad also took in two cats without asking us to be outdoor to kill the mice on the property (which they don’t) and because I was raised with animals they put on me to take care and feed them without asking because they had no idea what they were doing.
The conditions I had for living here that I discussed with hubby:
-I get the whole garage to turn into a photography studio for business (they still have their things in it)
-The sister was suppose to move to Utah in a year or two so she wouldn’t be “forever” (now she sounds like she’s changing her tune and never wants to move, get married, or have kids) she is also living here rent free even though she works
-the youngest brother in high school will go on a mission in 4 years and then will be out
-we would “eventually” get the whole house and the parents would have the renovated garage
***note the druggy brother was never a part of the picture…also living rent free
Here’s why venting:
We just discovered we’re pregnant again that would make us 2 adults plus 4 children under the age of 5 and a dog all upstairs with the one bedroom and one office space (and “maybe” one room downstairs) they heard something that “spooked them” and now the sister is trying to get the druggy brother to stay in the room downstairs just so we can’t (both the two living rent free) nobody knows we are pregnant yet. With this change I think we should get the whole house now. The druggy brother stays in the rv (still rent free and doing his weed which again frustrating the parents didn’t stick to the rules)…he makes our whole house smell like weed which is nauseating being pregnant. The sister can live in the loft upstairs in the garage I’ve seen there is tons of space (the only thing is they have a “storage unit” of stuff still…which the mom is kinda of a hoarder…but again with their space is they have 4 greenhouses too that are empty for storage. We have only hand a room by the heater downstairs same place the druggy brother hangs out.)
All I want is privacy to let my kids cry it out. My son wakes up every other hour at night because we share a room and senses me so I have to feed him every time and I get high anxiety trying not to wake them downstairs. The two girls sharing that office keep each other awake playing until midnight at least (we put them down 8-9pm) so get cranky during the day from crappy sleep.
The other factor is hubby’s dad does not take care of himself and has diabetes. Years ago I asked all the siblings one by one their thoughts on their dad and all believed he wouldn’t last until the youngest brothers high school graduation (4 years from now) if he passes my husband would run the family business and we could afford the place by ourselves and buy the mom out….OR he is also an only child and his parents are also going to go soon so EVERYTHING would go to the dad (they live on a 2 acre property) one room the parents and one room for that youngest brother and then we would just sell this place. We looked at all the options before me agreeing to this.
I told husband that either I would want the whole house or they buy us out of our part/we sell out old duplex we lived in/we buy our own place with the exact 4-5 rooms we would need. According to him his dad can afford this place on his own. Even if we moved he still has the two kids living rent free he could charge or they all move in the house the rent free downstairs and the parents and youngest upstairs and could rent out the garage too….basically there is lots of options. I just want to know ASAP because houses are going fast right now. Hubby insists we are not moving. He said we could turn the walk in closest into a bedroom (that still leaves the girls keeping each other awake and an extra baby) or he said renovate half the garage into a bedroom (one no heating not safe and that takes away the space for my photography studio the whole selling point for me gruntingly okay to move with them. Plus we don’t have the money to renovate the garage to be safe for kids. I also never liked this place because personally upstairs it’s only a shower and my peace for the day every day before was a hot bath to get away from the kids. I have no peace. There are no locks on any of the doors, the heating/ac sucks and is always cold no matter what I adjust it too (the kids refuse a shower so Idk the last time they even have been cleaned…yes disgusting.)They have a bath downstairs but it’s so cluttered down there and again the druggy brother is always down there in the day I don’t feel comfortable having my kids naked anywhere near him. Again “privacy issues”.
They also have a dog they have a crate in their garage (they call the lodge) but all day at work will leave her downstairs in a border thing where she is whining all day while nobody is home again except the druggy brother who barely does anything. I can hear that dog every day.
I guess what I’m looking for in all of this is
1. Is it wrong for me wanting the whole house being pregnant now running out of space? And just wanting privacy? They are on the downgrade of life and we are going up if that makes sense… who knows if we’ll have more kids in the future and stay cramped with space. (That’s why I’m willing to move)
2. Hubby seems stubborn not to move, I feel trapped and can already feel the depression kicking in and has been mildly since we moved in September and more now being pregnant (I’m terrified/anxious nothing will change…)
3. Is it wrong to assume they should adapt to us in this scenario since we adapted to them bringing in their druggy son…they also gave him a car that he doesn’t have to pay for so he can get to his job. But again pays for nothing.
4. Hubby has told me not to say anything to anyone because it will “spook” them and they will hold on tighter. He said he will “supposedly” talk to them because it’s “politics”….I just find that ridiculous.
Other backstory hubby and I are high school sweethearts and have now dated 12 years married for 6. In high school his mom would force my guy on dates with other girls to try to break us up because she didn’t like how serious we were (I knew what I wanted in life and I knew he was a great guy worth waiting for) she didn’t even care to try to get to know me and I even joined the church and we’re the only ones of her children who got sealed in the temple like she would want. The oldest sister not here got pregnant 3 times with the same guy and married just because of it (he treats her like crap) their kids are psycho cause trouble irresponsible. Ours are well mannered respectful of people’s things. It seems like no matter how hard I try his family is still selfish and has no respect for me (imagine the cool table in high school and you can’t sit with them or you do and they ignore you…yes it’s literally that ridiculous) they don’t care to engage with me even though I try. It’s like I’m the outsider and expendable to them. Mother in law made a comment during games yesterday which verified that in-laws (those not blood) don’t deserve anything or bare minimum) like how are they members of the church? I just grew up knowing what I wanted and honestly wanted in laws who were like family it was mother in law it was mom and siblings were the same…I’ve accepted that it won’t be that but all I said when moving with hubby was there had to be boundaries and it seems to go out the window with them. Anytime they have an issue big or small they alway call my husband over (last time it was 11pm to get a lizard out of their garage…who cares that they had the two other sons and daughter fully capable) I also asked from my hubby just for the kids to seem him at least 1 hour a day that’s it. He can do whatever he wants otherwise but his family keeps getting in the way of that. All I want is boundaries, privacy, comfort…is that seriously too much of us ask? I feel like hubby won’t cut the chord with them. I keep telling him I’m not saying he can’t see his family but I am saying me and the kids now need to be the priority over them for a healthy marriage. Am I crazy? Ugh again I feel trapped, depressed, and nobody talk to. Idk what to do…if you read all this god bless you I really just needed to be heard by someone. | depression |
I don't know what to do. I've already scheduled an appointment tomorrow with my therapist and another one next Monday with my doctor.
I think my medication is not working anymore (Concerta 36mg), or maybe I'm picking maladaptive coping habits from working at home and dealing with the daily stress from my work.
I like my job so much, and I think I'm lucky to have one that is in my area of experience and that is fulfilling for me to grow as a professional. The thing is, I have a lot of tasks that involve paperwork and reporting constantly and I'm struggling a lot with those tasks. I know that I can do it, and do it well, but when I try to start I get derailed and can't even push my self to finish them.
Now, I'm having a breakdown as I'm almost 2 weeks behind of my work and been trying to push myself to finish without success. I've been pulling all-nighters with no progress, I've tried to sleep and get up early to finish, I've tried to keep a schedule, I've tried dividing up tasks; no success.
My boss knows that I have ADHD, she's open about it and she also told me to reach out if I'm struggling with something. But even with that support I can't avoid feeling like a failure and fearing that my struggles won't be understood if I speak up.
In short, I don't know what to do. The stress of doing no progress at all is eating me up inside. I feel like a fraud.
What also stresses me, is that my appointment with my doctor is until next week. And I need to do progress now. | ADHD |
I'm 51 years old and never really thought I have ADHD because I've accomplished a lot in my life despite millions of dropped jobs, projects, relationships, etc., and in spite of being very "lazy" and unmotivated a lot of the time.
But then, I found this forum, and by gum, I totally think I have it. I've made an appointment to get evaluated on Monday, and feel hopeful for the first time in a while, so thank you all for sharing your experiences.
I was just reading a post about how getting started on something is usually the hardest part, and boy did it resonate with me. It reminded me of a funny story that I'd like to share.
It was 1992 and I was writing my honors thesis. It was supposed to be about how Stalin co-opted religion to create a faith around Communism. I had all the notes and research done already, but man...I just couldn't start writing. I'd sit down at the typewriter and find a million reasons not to write.
One such session, I sat down and typed, "Stalin was." There! Off to a great start! Then I noticed that the keys on my typewriter (a Brother 3000, or something) were quite dirty. The keys were supposed to be cream-colored, but look at those smudges and marks! This just would not do. I had to stop everything and clean off these keys. How could I write a masterful thesis on a dirty typewriter like this one?
I went into the other room and came back out with a cup of bleach water and some qtips. I swabbed and scrubbed at those keys until every trace of dirt was gone. Satisfied, I decided I'd let them dry and then I'd come back, sit down, and really crank it out.
I came back after 30 minutes to find that not only was the dirt gone, but the letters and numbers and punctuation marks on all the keys were also gone. My keyboard was clean, all right; so clean that it was blank. They keys smiled up at me like big yellow teeth, laughing at my pitiful attempt to set anything right.
I spent the next 20 minutes typing a key and then writing the letter it showed on the key in black sharpie. After I was done with that, I was too tired and deflated to do anything else, so I had no choice but to go to bed. The typewriter sat there for weeks with a sheet of paper in it that said only "Stalin was," which is true, but is not really enough for an honors thesis.
Please cross your fingers for me that I get some kind of diagnosis. I need to find a key to why my life has been so needlessly difficult, and I hope when I do, it's not blank. | ADHD |
Days ago, I saw a man and some seconds later the man was gone. I started worrying that I may have witnessed a glitch in the simulation system.
I found other explanation but I was not convinced enough. I decided to take some photos of the place in order to show it to a 2 friends of mine and try to find other explanations about where he may have went.
They were just normal photos. There was not any glitch in them. I took them in order to use them as google maps so I can find where he may have went.
I deleted those photos some time later without showing them because I was afraid that I may have angered the Gods of the simulation system.
In the end, I have found more satisfying explanations about where the man may have went but since I cant confirm it 100%, I worry.
I worry for taking pictures of the place. I took photos of the place about 5-15 minutes after the man was gone. There was not any glitch in them. They were just normal pictures of the place.
I was not planning to say anything about the simulation theory. I just wanted (Due to anxiety) to find other explanations for where he may have went.
What if Gods or the programers misunderstood me? I was not trying to expose anything. My mental illness was triggered, thats why I wanted to find an explanation about it. If I did not have that illness, I probably would not have taken the photos or paid much attention to it.
My hypothetical intrusive htoughts are telling me stuff like:
intrusive thoughts: what if the Gods or the progamers thought that you were taking picutres in order expose the glitch? what if They thought that you were thinking that you will see the glitch in the photos? what if They decided to teach you a lesson for being curious?
I was not trying to expose anything. There was not any glitch in the photos. They were just normal photos of the place. | OCD |
i don’t know what to do anymore. i feel like i want to just die. i want to love my boyfriend but i just can’t. i just can’t feel it anymore and i don’t know if it’s the ocd or what. i cant stop self harming and i just want to know what’s going on. i want to love him like i used to please help me | OCD |
So I'm REALLY anxious about writing this. I opened reddit for the first time in a while just to type this like two hours ago but I was too scared and was procrastinating. But here we go, oh boy. This is going to be the most confusing, meaningless, and embarrassing post I'll ever post in my life probably.
I don't really know how to start. I feel like I have a lot of OCD symptoms. But I doubt literally every aspect of my life. I never believe myself and overthink everything I do. I could be wearing black shoes, and I'll start overthinking and I'll be like HMMMM are these actually black though. It's ridiculous. Sorry that was kind of random but the reason why I mentioned it is because I can't observe myself or my symptoms because of how much I doubt myself.
Another reason why I'm horrified of actually thinking about this more and telling my psychiatrist and others is how I was a few years ago. When I was about 14 years old through my early 15s, I was (and still am) clinically depressed, but dear goodness I was SUCH a drama queen. I was so dramatic and I'd always kill the mood by making it super clear that I was depressed to my family. Every time they were having a good time I'd say something dark and ruin everything. I destroyed my poor mom. The stress she went through was insane and she was crying so hard and everything. My mom is such a simple and innocent person too. I'm horrified of being that person again. A year ago my mom was diagnosed with a super rare type of cancer. Thank God she's recovering. She's still super tired and feels HORRIBLE sometimes but hopefully in about a year or so she'll be better. The reason why I'm bringing this up is because I feel like the amount of stress I caused her (I can't physically describe how badly I hurt her) probably caused her to get sick like this. As I said I was such a dramatic baby that I kept self diagnosing myself with mental illnesses too. Sorry I'm taking too long to get to the point.
I'm so embarrassed to say this but no joke when I was at that phase, I tried to convince my mom and myself that I was schizophrenic.
That must be really offensive and painful for actual people who are like that. Which is why I'm really scared about thinking about what mental illnesses I might have now. Which is why I'm also kind of ashamed for thinking this because you guys actually have OCD and I might just be a very inconsiderate and insensitive drama king.
How do I open this topic up to my therapist or psychiatrist? I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to bring it up because of how I've been acting a few years ago. I still can't get over that. I DESPISE myself from back then. I hate him so badly and want to just smack him. Do I just get an appointment with my doctor and say, "Yo doc I think I might have OCD"? I'm so tired of this doubt that I'm in but I'm too scared to actually ask them.
Sometimes I think I get the symptoms literally every second of my life. Sometimes when I try to examine myself and doubt myself I'm like "bro stop being a baby you've only felt this like twice in your entire life". I want to say that isn't true but the amount of doubt I have is physically painful.
I get soo much nasty, NASTY thoughts. They're absolutely disgusting. I'm terrified if I bring it up and my psychiatrist asks what they are. I know he's used to dealing with people like this but I just feel so dirty and disgusting actually saying what they're like. I keep looking up to learn more about OCD. Sometimes I'm like THIS IS EXACTLY ME and sometimes I'm like, bro I'm such a liar I just want to have it but this isn't me at all. I don't even know what to believe anymore. But sometimes I might not have an intrusive thought for an hour? This is me doubting myself again, and I feel that if I did have OCD i'd have them so much that I wouldn't be able to sleep. Sometimes I get 900 intrusive thoughts per minute. And sometimes I might get like 1 per hour. I feel so fake and I don't know.
I'm also scared of contamination. Sometimes I can get over it (mainly because my family thinks I'm being obnoxious and overly sensitive). I don't know if that means I don't have OCD, or if I can just manage some things. However I can't always manage it. A few years ago I used to ALWAYS wear latex gloves when I was eating sandwiches or something. Not even just sandwiches, even just normal chicken I'd always wear latex gloves because I felt that my hands were too unclean and that my unclean hands my transfer some germs through the food to my mouth. This really upset my family though so I had to resort to covering my hands with tissues when eating or just always using a fork and a knife (even with chicken drumsticks)
I also have a horrible fear of throwing up and public bathrooms. I heard these were related to OCD?
I don't have too many "rituals" but I slightly have some I guess. That sentence made no sense sorry. I usually perform these rituals when I have an intrusive thought. Now I also heard that repeating of certain things is a thing with OCD.
I mix the rituals with this repetition. However I'm not sure if this is related to OCD or not because I don't repeat too many things?
Like when I have a horrible thought I whisper like, "Oh my goodness sorry, no. Sor- sorry? No, SOrRy?, No that wasn't right either, sor- sorr- s- sor- sorry?? srorry? sorory? Sorry? Ok that last one felt right" Sometimes I take so long to get that done right. To say it right, and sometimes it gets interrupted by another intrusive thought and I have to repeat the cycle allll over again.
It takes me so long to get the right "sorry". Sometimes (but very rarely) I get new words that I keep repeating. However I don't have to repeat making my bed or something like that, which causes more doubt. I have so much more to type but I feel guilty for making you read all this. Please forgive me.
I don't know if this is related so OCD or not but I have this weird "pain balancing" thing.
If I get hurt on my left knee, I will repeatedly punch my right knee in order to "balance" the pain I feel. This also happens with hot and cold. For example if I accidentally touch the kettle with my right finger and it's hot, I will try to fling my left finger near the kettle really quickly so I can feel the heat but not injure and burn myself. If that fails or I'm being too scared, I will just pinch or scratch my left finger so I can at least make it feel some sort of pain to "equalize" I guess? This makes no sense.
Anyway going back to contamination. My dog eats chicken. We buy him just pure chicken with nothing else and we boil it for him with no spices or anything because hes SO picky . I'm HATE getting that chicken when we need to make more. Because it's raw. I hate touching it. I always wash my hands after it and give my hands a squirt of alcohol after finishing. I also usually put a paper towel under it instead of putting it on the counter because I'm afraid some germs or salmonella or something is going to crawl its way through the counter and contaminate everything. I'm even sometimes too grossed out to use plates. I feel like the plate is going to get contaminated and I'm scared of washing the plate because I feel like I'LL get contaminated while trying to clean the plate. Even with things that are covered. Like you know they don't just have a random chicken hanging out in the store, they have it in a bag or a box or something. I'm even too scared to touch that bag or box.
I also remember at one point (when I was like 13) being scared of using the microwave because I was worried about the radiation or something. Right after whatever I put in finished cooking, I'd open the door and RUUN for my life because I was worried it was gonna give me cancer or something. I waited a bit for the "radiation to settle down" and then grabbed my food from it. Also recently I touched the front side of the remote (where the signals are sent from) and I got very uncomfortable because I'm worried about that being "toxic" to me too. Also I sometimes feel uneasy touching batteries.
Also this is not too extreme or common but yesterday I let my dog out to go potty, we heard coyotes in our neighborhood about 2 months ago maybe. I left a light open outside and then I was worried if that would start a fire if I kept it on for a few more hours.
Before Covid I had a squirt bottle of alcohol and my personal hand sanitizer with me. I wish I still had them but unfortunately after covid my family wanted me to stop using them because they're in high demand because of covid so we had to conserve and share as much as possible. This really sucked for me because I used to just have a squirt of alcohol or sanitizer to clean my hands. I used to also just squirt my room with alcohol and the smell was so intense my mom was worried about my lungs from inhaling all that. I remember one time remembering a really gross event from a year before, and even though it was a year ago I still SHOWERED my room with alcohol just because I remembered that event. I remember that my hands were getting white because of how dry they were, they were soo rough from all the sanitizer and alcohol I kept abusing my hands with. Gosh I still wish I had my own personal alcohol and sanitizer but covid happened so they're rare. But now I feel fake that I'm not using them as much. I just squirted my hands with alcohol like 8 minutes ago so I still do it but it upsets my family if I get caught.
Sometimes I can overcome those "compulsions" (in quotes because I don't know if I have OCD or not) which makes me feel like an absolute faker and that I'm offending you guys, lying to myself, and I also feel that my doctor would internally laugh at me
If it smells bad I will IMMEDIATELY put my nose inside of my shirt. Not because the smell is bad but because I feel like the smell is going to go inside me and mess me up internally with the germs its carrying. When I had my alcohol with me I'd squirt it on my hands and literally sniff it and imagine the alcohol fighting the bad smell and cleaning me up from the inside. I just do it with normal soap now but I felt like the alcohol was stronger since the smell of it is super painful.
This is too long so I'm just gonna say I HATE eating with people and I fantasize about the germs being spread when people talk or excuse me for saying this but spit when they talk.
I NEVER touch public door knobs. I just pray somebody or my dad or something can open the door, then I just use my foot to keep the door open as I step inside or keep it open for someone else. That sounds soo bratty and entitled I'm really sorry. Public stuff grosses me out so much!
Also this is super disgusting and random and childish and immature but I try to breath as less as possible whenever someone burps because I feel like the germs from inside come out in the burp and I'm too scared to inhale.
I don't really have any "bad" colors or numbers, but like there's one word I guess. I say it a lot though when I have an intrusive though as part of a ritual if that makes any sense? Also if I ever do say that word I will not move my foot a step further until I finish the "purifying" ritual so that part of land my foot is on will be purified by it. It's nonsense but I'm just ridiculous. Also when I was young there were many of those "bad" words. I'd get worried if they were said in my room.
Actually now that I think about it I just discovered that I have two. However I mentioned that word like twice already in this huge post so I feel as if I'm being fake about it but I don't know. It just came to my attention now.
Also sometimes I think if I don't pick up a tissue from the floor it'll escalate to my mom dying.
Also disclaimer: I've been having these symptoms BEFORE Covid so it's not that I'm paranoid of getting covid.
Also I don't know if this is a stereotype or actually related to OCD but I peel my lips into oblivion. Just recently it bled for 1-2 hours I think. It hurts so badly and sometimes I tear up but I still do it. My lips almost always look dead. Also speaking of lips. Whenever it smells bad or I'm just in public, I'm too scared to lick my lip because I feel as if there's bacteria stuck on it and I'll transfer it to inside of me by licking it.
I sound so dumb but yeah.
What do you think? I won't take this as a diagnosis but do you think this sounds like OCD? I hope this wont offend anyone because it always reminds me of me self diagnosing myself with schizophrenia when I was 14. Also how in the heck do I approach talking about this with my psychiatrist and how do I build up the courage to do it? What tips did you guys use?
Wow I did it! I finally wrote this. Anyway the doubts are probably gonna come in and mess with me now.
I'm an absolute mess you guys. I'm really sorry this is huge and so dramatic. Bless you and have a great day!
There's so much to talk about but my goodness this is so long. I'm so sorry! Thank you so much! Have a great day! | OCD |
Anyone else afraid or embarrassed to admit they have intrusive thoughts to others? Mine is of a violent or sexual violent nature and can be very debilitating, lasting nearly the whole day. It disturbs me to my core because they do not represent my character outside of my own thinking. They are never thoughts of harming others, just of myself on almost a loop cycle. My thoughts began around the age of 12 after my abuser was thrown out of our home. After that, my insomnia started along with self-harming/self-mutilation behaviors. I've been struggling with this since then and I am almost 24 years old. My intrusive thoughts are so bad, I compulsively check that I have not or am afraid that I will harm, or even kill, myself without a conscience. It has happened before during this past summer. If you experience something similar, please feel free to comment and tell me about it. | OCD |
I‘ve had a few different OCD fixations in the past that have given me anxiety (HOCD, ROCD) and the only thing that worked in those situations was ERP. I’m currently trying to use it for health anxiety because I know this is also just a manifestation of my OCD. It's the one thing that's taken away my anxiety in the past. Has anyone else with health anxiety tried it and has it worked for you? | OCD |
has anyone felt like all of life has them depressed..? being single, no friends, family unsupportive, etc
i dont know what to do. i dont have anyone who wants me | depression |
when i was younger i had heaps of hyper focus's like photoshop, film making, drawing and coding...
Now i'm 18 and barely hyperfocus. when i do it's more just like an interest that i look into for an hour or two then that's it. maybe it's because of depression because my motivation has just been at an all time low for the past 1.5 years.
anyone else have an explanation or can relate? | ADHD |
Growing up with ADHD, my understanding of it was: I'm smart enough to be expected to do normal things in a normal way, but im different enough that i dont do things in a normal way and will constantly be reminded im not normal. Ive internalized so much self loathing and misunderstanding that i feel completely hopeless for having any sort of self-sufficient future. Im 22, have been unemployed for 22 months and am starting to doubt i will ever find something that works with me. I havent been on medication since i was 13, and that caused a lot of issues in high school. I failed out of the normal high school and ended up going to a continuation school and BARELY graduating by the skin of my teeth. Now, 5 years later, i feel like im still 17. I dont know how to keep myself held together and i dont know how to move forward.
Sorry for the brain dump, this is just my first time ever speaking my mind about this | ADHD |
Hello All, This is my first post here and I need some help ASAP.
I am a teen diagnosed with OCD and Generalized anxiety in late 2020. My parents got me a therapist and we worked out some of my physical compulsions. The thing is, I never told her about my existential stuff.
I worry about death, and other existential things. Around summer 2019, I had my first panic attack. I would have a thought about the topic and go deeper and deeper until I freaked. I was like this for about 3 weeks before it went away. Starting in late 2019, it started reappearing. But to combat it, I subconsciously developed a compulsion to calm down. I would think to myself "If you aren't gonna die and you know it, clap your hands!" And if I didn't clap, I would freak. In around February 2020, It went away with my \*genius\* new plan. A new compulsion. The clapping was replaced with the phrase "I won't die today and it is impossible to change that. Impossible meaning not possible, and not possible meaning Impossible." Yikes. I would do it a few times a day and be mostly fine. Throughout the year that receded mostly and gave way to other obsessions. There would be flare-ups, but they were small. Until this week. I don't know why, but I have been constantly repeating my phrase all week and it's not stopping.
I am afraid to tell anyone about my existential dread because I fear that will stir up a new version of that fateful summer.
HELP! | OCD |
During a terrible ocd episode with an existential theme. I had no idea this was ocd or that it could manifest this way. I felt borderline psychotic. (Not really because I don’t know what psychosis is actually like but you know what I mean)
I spent so much time thinking I was bipolar and went through a manic period or something. Which ended up becoming another theme.
My point is, during an episode like this I have poor insight so I somewhat believe my irrational thoughts. And I’m paranoid. I’m so in the depths of the fear that I don’t even stop to think what is going on. I’m spending hours reading about all kinds of theories and I remember one day I was so paralyzed with fear with the thought my family wasn’t real that I avoided them. Now, I knew deep down this fear was irrational. I didn’t act on it more than avoiding them. I didn’t discuss this with anyone because I knew how bizarre it all was and didn’t know how to explain it without sounding psychotic.
And after this I was seeing clearly that I was not well mentally. And clearly know my family is real. I just had no idea that ocd could cause existential fears of being in a stimulation. Which is why whenever I would read about schizophrenia symptoms I would panic. But knowing full well I have never hallucinated or showed irrefutable symptoms of it. But that still became another theme.
I noticed some people on here seem to know that their fears are irrtational even in the midst of it. And the actual trying to reason with themselves ends up being its own complusion. Like they’re fighting with themselves . I’ve had this with rocd theme... but with the existential or religious themes, for whatever reason I’m operating In my superstitious beliefs and have poorer insight. Hindsight is ... good so I hope I’m able to improve my insight going forward. | OCD |
Serious observation and question: I have a friend who recently went through some very traumatic events, and now he claims to be an actual superhero. This isn't a joke. I'm not trolling. He has been saying some weird and farfetched stuff. At one point, he even claimed to be a demigoddess, not long after an extremely painful incident he had gone through, and told me and my family that he saw a big blue giant suspended in air and holding a giant magnifying glass over his body. Crazy stuff, right? So is it possible for trauma to rewire the brain and thereby distort really in a person's mind? In other words, can PTSD affect one's perception of reality? Again, I'm not trolling. I'm being dead serious. | ptsd |
I suspect I have ADHD -inattentive subtype and have an assessment in a few weeks. I am hoping to get access to treatment that will just help me enjoy life more, currently I cant even finish a book or a film without getting distracted, I have lots of creative projects that I never work on, I am extremely disorganised and live in a mess that demotivates me from doing anything until it is cleaned up (which it never is), I am very unproductive at work.
Does medication help with these kinds of things? I get the sense it might tackle the more hyperactive symptoms that I don't have. I also don't really have the racings competing thoughts going through my head that I understand people with ADHD have, I am much more spaced out constantly absorbed and distracted by whatever I am thinking about . So maybe I don't have ADHD, I match the 'sluggish cognitive tempo' profile which most think is just ADHD so maybe I do.
So I was just interested if anyone who has a similar presentation to how I have described has found they have improved with medication, are you now able to spend your time more productively as a result? | ADHD |
I need help from someone experienced about porn addiction and HOCD. If you are one please pm me. I don’t have therapy cuz I can’t afford it | OCD |
I have been watching a YouTube named Mr Allen that covers mysterious dark and strange stories and at first it was fun bit now I'm just scared that I'm going to act just like all those bad people. I hate it. I would live to watch his stuff but I just can't otherwise I'll isolate myself. I get an overwhelming anxiety that I'll hurt those who I love and seeing how others have done that very thing makes that fear increase to a crippling level. My question for you is if I avoid these videos is that a form of compulsion or is it rather self care to know your limit and not go past it? | OCD |
I still have the same depression everyday since 7th grade which is about 2014. I’m a 20 yo M. I feel like dying. All the time. I feel undeserving of love. I’m tired of being so lonely I just want to die sometimes. If I can’t love myself how am I going to love someone else. | depression |
With "structure" I mean all kinds of structures.
F.ex. one of us might know everything about trains, but on a train convention can't properly bring this info onto other train lovers.
At least in my case I feel like this 24/7 at my time in university, I always felt like I was excelling on the spot, but failing in the long run. First I thought "Hey. That's just paranoid thinking. Everyone is probably struggling with impostor syndrom", but then there are times where I'm getting bitchslapped into reality again.
F.ex. when everyone has build work groups and I'm like "oh...right. Socialisation. I forgot that".
Or the fact that I might need to repeat a course simply because I didn't register myself in a very specific, dumb hidden spot in this kafkaesque maze of German university program, which would end up me having to basically redo a whole section from my first semester.
And I say this like that, because everyone else around me seems to go along the flood just fine. "Oh, wasn't it obvious that this was necessary?" blinking at me with big, blank blue eyes.
Or just little things, like forgetting in which culture you're living. Can't say less then correct or you're stupid, can't do too much / excell too much and suddenly those fuckers outcast you because "you shouldn't know that yet", "how do you know this", "I don't think we need to know this yet". I'm not being edgy here. People are terrified to cross lines and I got even bullied for f.ex. being able to read & write before I was taught it in school. I still forget it extremly often and get fucked over because of it. | aspergers |
I am always stuck on what could of happened or what might and am always stuck on if I missed out on something and could of not miss out or I imagine something terrible happening and I feel as if it is real I don’t just say that not gonna happen or say I can avoid it I just live the worst possibilities in my mind over and over again. | ADHD |
This world is a gong show.
I'm so tired of trying to adapt to a society that doesn't even want me.
I'm tired of trying to speak to people about things that go beyond the superficial such as climate change.
I'm tired of the self centric people that are effectively running the planet.
I'm tired of pushing people away simply for being passionate and caring about things that actually matter.
I'm tired of pointing things out to people only for them to ignore me and then realize that I was right later on and they never admit to it.
I'm tired of trying to be a person with principles in a world dominated by the spectacle of infinite wealth and status.
I'm drowning. I wish it would go away. I'm just so angry and tired. | aspergers |
I can now eat toast in different ways without thinking I’m going to choke 🙃 | OCD |
I don't think there's a ton of value in pointing this out other than maybe it demonstrates how certain social calculations are simply out of reach to me and perhaps others. But I've never understood how people who occasionally break the rules or norms figure out when it's acceptable to do so. This also extends to a lot of in-person humor, ie. off-color jokes etc.
I can't operate in this flux where some rules can be broken and others can't. If I have a lot of time to pre-meditate breaking a rule, I'm capable of it, but I notice others can do it on the fly and get away with it. Just seems like others have "cracked the code" on this and I'm oblivious. It occurred to me how foreign this mindframe is to me, so I just wanted to share and potentially relate. | aspergers |
I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who are so kind and supportive in this community. I made what I have believed to be a catastrophically life-altering mistake three months before I attend medical school, and I wish so badly that I would have found you all sooner. You all sharing your stories, kind words, and encouragement have made a huge impact on me getting my life back on track, and I'm sure plenty of other people share the same sentiment.
We all deserve to be happy and stop suffering. Love you all, let's keep taking care of ourselves <3
Oh and PSA reminder to not reassure people's OCD concerns. :) | OCD |
I just moved out of a temporary living situation with some of my closest friends, into living on my own with someone who is rlly awesome, just not as close friendship-wise. It’s been a hard first week because I have no one to body double, or keep up with me, or make plans with casually, etc. does anyone have tips/advice for managing this? I’m so exhausted from trying to get myself into a routine without anyone to reinforce it. | ADHD |
Hey guys, I've always heard OCD being described as an anxiety disorder, but as I was reading the portuguese version of the DSM-5, I noticed that OCD was not under anxiety disorders, but it was a category in itself.
Basically, I want to know if it was never considered an anxiety disorder, if it was recently changed or if it still is and the book is just separating it for another purpose.
Sorry for the broken english hahahha | OCD |
So this has been in the works probably since the summer but today is the first day I've actually gotten medication for ADHD. Eight hours in and I've gotta say... it's transformative. The calm, the focus, **THE DOPAMINE**... words can't describe how glad I am. I'm definitely not used to this yet but maybe in time, I'll acclimate.
That is all. Just wanted to share a big moment with you guys! | ADHD |
Just got diagnosed this week, and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions — and quite a bit of confusion as to what to do next. My psychiatrist was somewhat reluctant (though not completely opposed) to prescribe medication (especially stimulants, for reasons I thought were reasonable).
She suggested neurofeedback, which if I’m being totally honest I just don’t buy — I work in neuroscience research with EEG data and I’m very skeptical of how well neurofeedback measures are collected. A bit of a moot point, since my insurance wouldn’t cover it anyway.
Before trying meds (or probably in combination with them), I was trying to learn more about therapist-led behavioral intervention focused on ADHD. Has anyone been successful at finding something like this and, if so, what was your experience with it? I’ve done talk-based and CBT therapy for depression/anxiety before, but the CBT part really didn’t work for me (ADHD got in the way of sticking to a thought record). | ADHD |
I couldn’t eat a banana today because “it had spiders inside”. Wtf. And the other night I had to have my bf talk me down because someone was gonna break into my car. | OCD |
The more I read here and autism the more I remember about myself. Lately I saw a video about headbanging against the back of the chair. I could then remember the feeling, when the outside sound stops for a second and the feeling of falling.
I can remember my mother saying if you don’t stop banning your head, we need to buy you a bicycle helmet.
I also was spinning so many times that they asked me if I wanted to do ballet. (Entering the room with a bit speed and using the momentum to spin around in the kitchen. Or in my room but the floor was less smooth). Or spinning in an office chair of course. | aspergers |
I’m trying to not mask my adhd symptoms anymore so I am more honest with people about who I am. The problem is that when I do this I tend to immediately tell them very personal things about myself such as the meds I’m on. Growing up my mom always criticized the way I talked to people and I think this has contributed greatly to my anxiety. She always told me that it would be weird to share certain things with others and it just never made sense to me. I have a friend I’m not very close to who told me she goes to therapy. My mom would find it very odd to disclose to people you’re not very close to that you go to therapy. I don’t see what’s so wrong in that so do I just not get something that others do? I’m questioning the entire way I was brought up. | ADHD |
I was researching about my ADHD meds and deciding on whether titrating it further upwards was necessary or not...and then...I saw this.
website: https://drroseann.com/5-reasons-to-not-medicate-adhd-in-children/
(am I allowed to post this? I can delete the website link if needed)
What are your opinions on ADHD meds?
I personally think ADHD meds are blessings because they can actually HELP me to focus for once...although its not really at its optimal for me now (reason why I was even researching in the first place...then this caught my eye and got me really annoyed since I felt like we shouldn't be discouraging people from getting the medication they need...therapies are not full beneficial and substitutes for medication in my opinion)
oh ho ho and especially #2 in the website...wew so that is why so many of our parents are so disapproving and doubtful about our diagnosis! | ADHD |
I'm currently in grad school, but ever since high school, I've had tons of trouble finding relevant studies for papers. Every time I try to look for something I have the same experience. I'll only find things that are tangentially related to the topic, but not helpful, and I'll go down a giant rabbit hole just to find basic information on something for one tiny part of a paper. It's extremely frustrating and distracting, and the vast majority of the time I still can't find anything I'm looking for.
I know this is related to my ADHD, but I'm not exactly sure how, or what I can actually do about it.
This happens to me with things that I feel like should not be difficult to find information on. For example, I'm currently writing a paper in defense of Affirmative Action, and was trying to search for studies on the effects of Affirmative Action. Specifically, I wanted to look into this claim that critics of AA often make that it leads to "reverse discrimination." I found one old NYT article that described a study that sounded exactly like what I was looking for, so I looked up the study they described, but I couldn't find any of the numbers or facts in the study that the NYT article attributed to it.
After this, I tried to look for other studies. I tried various places, google scholar, jstor, the library site at my university, but I couldn't find literally *anything* of use. I assume there have been tons of studies examining the question of whether or not affirmative action leads to "reverse discrimination," but because my research skills are absolute garbage, I couldn't find a single one.
My girlfriend has tried sending me resources for finding articles, but they're not any more helpful to me than the other resources I've used. It makes me feel really stupid whenever I have this experience, because I know that other people are somehow able to just look things up and find studies and papers that are relevant to their topic and argument, but I have just never been successful at this.
Do you guys have similar problems researching things? And is there anything you've figured out to make this process easier?
TL;DR: I find it extremely difficult to find relevant studies for papers. Every time I try to do research for a paper, I end up going down a massive rabbit hole, trying and usually failing to find relevant sources. | ADHD |
When I take my adderall (and even when I don’t but especially when I do) the idea of drinking water is *blecgh*. I hate it! Like I literally can’t stand the idea of it these days. I know I should drink water and I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s like the [gray krabby patty in that one Spongebob episode](https://images.app.goo.gl/6LAFR1YeKUMrkgM98) to me. I feel like I’ve tried almost everything to get myself to drink more water - which I probably haven’t, but it feels like I have!
Mio drops are gross. I can’t remember to mark off that I’ve drank water in my food tracking app. When I used apps that reminded me I would always just silence the notifications. Somebody HELP before my kidneys turn on me. Thank you!! | ADHD |
Their anger is not logical but unpredictable to me and I don’t know how to react but to take a step back and to automatically go into fight/flight/freeze mode.
How do you deal with that and are their tips and tricks on how to cope? | aspergers |
so i stream on twitch, im not gonna disclose my id here because thats not what im here for, but in the past few week sits just all stopped my growth and everything, my family matters other than streaming are growing worse by the day and other than my girlfriend who live on the other side of the world, i have no one to talk to and its been getting to my head a lot lately and i just feel like im not gonna be able to so anything ive wanted because its my dream to be a streamer and for some reason i cant pull that off and i have nothing other than this for my future so im in way too much pressure and i just cant handle it or deal with it anymore idk what to do. | depression |
Bro does anyone else get severely bad hyperfixation on someone you barely have interacted with… like I feel like I blow it out of proportion so badly those few days/weeks and then I find someone else to have a crush on and I’m like wtf I didn’t even give af about that person… like I always NEED to have an intense crush going lol even if it’s in my head | ADHD |
I’ve been realizing that my Adhd has been part of the reason behind my emotional problems. This year, I have found a really well educated and understanding therapist. She has opened my eyes to scientific reasonings behind mental health. So, I have greatly grown as a person by having more knowledge of my mental health. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 8. Through out my childhood and adolescence, I have always had great sensitivity to putting people down, to rejection or negative criticism. My reaction would be getting teary eyed, feeling shameful, and worthless. I was always told I was too sensitive. I feel like ever since I have entered into adulthood, this rejection sensitivity , has gotten worse. So, I was wondering if, any of you guys have felt the same way. | ADHD |
The other day I was sitting on the back hall steps and he yelled at me to do something. I covered my face and breathed deep breaths because that's what I do when I'm pissed.
Then, when I don't do it right away he starts getting madder and raising his voice more.
At this point, he is really mad because I won't get up and do it and I'm just breathing and trying not to explode. And then he says to me, "You know what? I think that you are just pretending to be depressed so you can get out of doing things so you can just laze around and do nothing!"
I thought to myself, 'Let's see if it I'm just pretending if I kill myself." I won't kill myself because I know better, but I was mad at the moment so I thought it.
I took a depression test and the doctor said that if I score an 8 or higher, that we should watch out for it, and I scored a 15. This is how I know I have depression.
Anyways, sorry for the long ass story. I just had to get this off my chest | depression |
I feel like most posts here put people into "boxes" like "I suffer from POCD, HOCD etc." But is there anyone else who feels like they get intrusive thoughts constantly and about just about anything? Put me into any new situation and I guarantee you, I will develop a new obsessive thought. I've had all sorts of thoughts over the years - about being a bad person, contamination, religious thoughts, magical thinking,... Is there anyone out there who feels the same way or am I the only one who cannot even classify themselves as one thing? :( | OCD |
I always hated them as a kid. I'd always wake up feeling...gross. But now as an adult, hoooly crap I'm in love.
I live in a basement apartment; the upstairs tenants control the thermostat. It's a littler colder than what I'm used to, and my usual assortment of blankets still left me slightly cold.
Enter the sleeping bag...One of my many side projects is an underquilt for my hammock. I picked up a sleeping bag from the thrift shop a while ago, and finally got around to modifying it. Now that I've finished the project, I don't want it to live with my hammock; I want it as my full time couch blanket!
But the part that gets me: stimming with the slick fabric. I love the way it slides over itself. So satisfying. It's just...ah, y'all are autistic; you get it. :P
TL;DR: bought a cheap sleeping bag for unrelated reason. Apartment is cold; sleeping bag is warm. Fabric is satisfying AF. | aspergers |
I've been doing it for a week and my ocd hasn't changed, probably got worse. | OCD |
hi! i’m 17f diagnosed with ocd and adhd
although i never fantasized sexually about a kid and instead started thinking about mostly older men / women, when i was a kid (age 8) i remember being curious about genitals and trying to peak at a babies penis, not out of a s*xual reason but out of curiosity more like it. i only tried that once or twice, and it was not sexual at all, i just happened to accidentally see one and think it was really weird looking but then become curious.
i know for sure i didn’t touch them inappropriately nor was it sexual but i recently had this memory flashback and then fears j assaulted someone. i’m scared that the childhood curiosity makes me a p*dophile even though once again i never had pleasurable sexual thoughts about a kid.
in fact i started being attracted to older men and women and remember crushing on much older celebrities and also having a crush on my childhood friend back then. and even now i get turned on by ppl my age or older and usually with mature features and nsfw warning but i like big chests and also bigger dicks, or just more mature and masculine features (i’m bi and i like masculine women too)
additionally i will have constant false attractions convincing me i’m attracted to literally everyone. i used to have fears of being attracted to my parents for gods sake years ago, and now it’s moved onto kids even though i was basically always interested older people ): | OCD |
For some background I've been prescribed Adderall for years and often I've noticed that it seems like the side effects are "too much" or "too intense" even after having the dose lowered it almost seemed like the negative effects stayed the same but the positive effects went away, I know everyones body is different but can anyone that has taken both Vyvanse and Adderall tell me the advantages to one or the other? | ADHD |
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