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Jumped off a 8 story building and didn't die ended up with someone's heal for mine now and fuck I tried again by flipping my car and crawled out so now I'm considering using a gun cause it will be most effective yet still have 2nd Thoughts about it. Should I go find help are just finish what I started??
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depression
|
I know all my friends and my girlfriend are tired of my shit I just can’t deal with thinking I’ve done something wrong
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OCD
|
I literally want to suicide and i was just 2 years ago even scared of thinking about it. I am 15 (M) and i have OCD which took the shit out of my life. Everytime i feel just a bit happy i instantly go back to depression mode. And whenever i talk about my ocd with my parents they say "i know how you are feeling but just fight it" and when i say i try to they say "try harder" that's what i am doing. It didnt work for the past year and a half so i am pretty sure i would like to stop trying. They had ocd too but even they themselfs said "its not the same for everyone, everyone get it in a different way and type and level" but that just proves that you might not exactly understand how do i feel. Yes you know how ocd feels like but do you know how mine feels? And the worst part is, i try to be as grateful as possible but i always feel like i am not grateful enough since i am suicidal, and then, to add up, my father keeps telling me "what do you want more in life??? You have everything you need so why are you depressed??? You have stuff some people cant ever get it and yet you are depressed with a good home parents that love you and you are not poor." Yes. I know that. But can you say it to a person to tourette or autism or any other mental illness or disorder? Just because ocd isn't popular as those does not mean its not that bad. I know some people has worse life than me but it does not make me happier. Go to a person who got shot in his leg and tell him "oh yeah??? but someone had it worse than you and got shot in his head"that wont fucking help they are still in pain. Basically, just because someone is physically okay but mentally not does not mean they are ok at all. And its not easy at the same level to fight ocd for everyone. I once had such a strong urge i didnt blink for 30 minutes because it told me to.
I know people are just trying to help me but they dont. I can only get help from a real professional and all you can do is listen and tell me you'll help me / just tell me it'll go away. Or just nothing and just listen is actually better... anyway, thanks for reading this.
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depression
|
Is this normal or invasive? Do I have a reason to feel offended? Why do I feel targeted? This sucks.
Like, it seems she was asking as like a complement because she said that I make really good eye contact and that I'm somewhat eloquent and ask really particular questions or something, but still, boundaries... anyone agree?
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aspergers
|
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) shortly after he turned 4 after months of struggling at pre-school. He started hitting and kicking people, throwing stuff, and being completely unreasonable, disruptive, and dangerous to others.
After being kicked out of the preschool he had gone to for 4 years, and then a summer camp, he was asked to leave the next pre-school as well, after they had convinced me to medicate him on Clonidine at 5 years old. I also tried play therapy at this time. The clonidine didn’t help much. Neither did the therapy.
Kindergarten and the first half of 1st grade were a nightmare. Hurting kids in class, hitting, kicking, stabbing with pencils, throwing things, getting sent to the principals office, having to be separated from other students during class and lunch. He was threatened with alternative school in 1st grade.
At the beginning of 2021, in the middle of first grade (after the alternative school threat) we finally started him on Vyvanse and it has been life changing in a good way. We have tried all of the meds available and Vyvanse seems to work the best. However, he still has periods where the medication seems to become ineffective and he has terrible, terrible mood swings.
At home, he has intentionally hurt his baby sister many times and constantly tests and breaks boundaries that are unsafe. He lies about anything and everything. He deliberately disobeys the rules and does the exact opposite of what we ask him to do. He laughs at inappropriate times, such as when he is getting in trouble or even while I am crying.
For the last month, he has been absolutely awful. Unbearable. Sexually assaulting kids at school (“nut checking”). Throwing his shoes at staff and students. Being disruptive, making chirping noises during class. Lying. Screaming. Throwing stuff. Exploding.
I’m at my wits end. I don’t know what to do. I’m currently threatening to sell his tablet he just received for his birthday last month (which he has barely been allowed to use due to the behavior), and I am also threatening to pull him from his super fun after school place. I dread being around him because it’s a constant and never ending battle. Everyone in the house is stressed and unhappy because of my son’s behavior. The Vyvanse alone isn’t helping.
When he was younger, I suspected he was on the autism spectrum. Could still be a possibility. I also wonder if he has a mood disorder. I’m afraid of what his future holds….
I’m going to request an appointment with his pediatrician tomorrow and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist.
Please, if anyone has any insight, suggestions, or comments, I’m all ears.
Thank you for reading.
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ADHD
|
im trying to love for other people but it gets to a point where i cant. i want the pain to go away. im failing my senior year and along with that my pop pop and nephew died in the past 3 months. i wish everyone hated me so they wouldnt care if i killed myself.
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depression
|
1. Life is not black and white, at all. OCD loves to make you feel as if there are only two extremes but it is so wrong. There is always grey. The vast majority of mistakes are in a grey area, rarely ever fully on a "terrible" scale.
2. You can still be a good person who has made mistakes, what matters most is who you *are now*.
3. It feels so real and so scary, you feel as if you're the exception and this is not OCD because the event really happened. But it is wrong. It *is* OCD. Don't let it trick you.
4. Real event OCD *loves* to make mountains out of mole hills. So many times people can do a mistake and they will truly believe they have done worse than a murderer and therefore they are a criminal. This couldn't be further from the truth. The chances are almost 100% that what you did is *not* as serious as you think.
5. Telling your OCD "maybe I did. maybe I didn't. who cares?" is very helpful when dealing with any theme of OCD, but especially real event. It craves certainty so badly and when you refuse to give it to it, it causes so much discomfort. Learn to sit with it and within a bit, this theme will pass too.
6. You do not need to confess this to anyone. Confessing is a form of compulsion and only adds fuel to the OCD fire. I know you feel as if you *have* to say or else you're a fraud or a liar, but it is not true. Others do not need to know.
7. False memories are very common in this theme of OCD. They can happen for an event that really happened and make it seem as if something happened during said event that actually did not. Try the same talk with this as well; "maybe I did. maybe I didn't. who cares?".
Another rule of thumb is if you have to try so hard to figure out if it happened or not, chances are it did not.
8. Real event can also happen with non mistakes as well. Did you do something you regret? Something embarrassing? Something childish? Real event OCD can and will latch onto that and make it seem more important than it really is.
9. Real event OCD is by far in my opinion one of the hardest themes to cope with and beat because as said, it focuses on something that truly happened. This causes extreme grief to the sufferer and sometimes can even lead to suicidal thoughts because they fear they're too horrible to even live.
10. Try to avoid reassurance seeking on it. Very often you will want to find out if what happened was as serious as you think or if you're worried for nothing. This sadly will never help but only make things worse. This includes avoiding googling and asking others for their opinions. Don't do it.
In conclusion, you will be okay. This will pass.
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OCD
|
I was playing guitar and playing music in a thought popped in my head like sing for your family members and the intrusive thought popped in about my family members that I shouldn't and I was just like f*** it and I went through what my interests of thought told me to do does that make me a bad person does that mean that my intrusive thought was real? Or did I do impulsively?
|
OCD
|
Hello,
Sorry, I know these threads are so common, but I'm feeling very anxious recently and I'm dying to find answers.
I'm feeling extremely anxious and slightly depressed since about a month. I started to worry that I might be gay and/or transgender (I'm a male). It happened after meeting a MtF friend of mine, and wondering "what if I am too?" Given that I have hypochondria, I thought it might be a kind of OCD theme. I've started to see a therapist about it, but the appointments feel too distant to each other for my anxiety.
I lived a typical cis hetero life until now. I have a long distance girlfriend for 4 years. I've only fell in love with girls. I don't recall having a problem identifying as a boy in my childhood.
I do have a fetish for stockings since a young age though. I love stockings both on women and on me. I'm not sure if it's the view or the texture I like, probably both. I do own more than I like to admit, and my girlfriend, although she's not a fan, agrees with me wearing them for sex. I've always labeled it as a way to "cope" with being single most of my life.
For the same reason, I've been a big consumer of porn. It was your regular straight porn until recently. I stumbled on ladyboy, femdom, and then sissy porn about 6 months ago. I was kind of disgusted but also turned on by it. Now, it kind of has become one of my favorite porn, and that could be the reason I'm anxious.
But, the only fantasies I have about being a woman are with porn. I don't feel weird writing Mister, being called a guy or being called my name, I don't feel the need to wear girl clothes otherwise, don't feel weird seeing me in the mirror or seeing my genitals, nor do I think about makeup or wig or else... I also thought about the famous magic button test and would not press it.
What's even weirder is that just a few months ago, I was starting to think about marrying my girlfriend, having kids, making dad jokes to them...
Right now, I'm just petrified in anxiety, and have a hard time monitoring my feelings. My attraction to my girlfriend suddenly feels weird, and it makes me incredibly unhappy. Could be anxiety though as all my positive feelings are numb right now.
I thought about the potential consequences of being trans, and it scares me to death : my gf would most likely leave me regarding our LDR situation, I would give panic attacks to my mother, heavily disappoint my father, lose some friends, it might make me lose my job in a country-like area ... Basically taking everything I have away. I'm not sure life would be worth living at this point, even though I'm not that old (27yo).
So, what does all of this sounds to you? Do I just have a fantasy and worry for nothing? Does it look trans to you? Could it be something else, like genderfluid or non binary? All of this is taking a toll on my health as I sleep and eat much less, and I might have to use anxiolytics/antidepressants to cope with it. Whenever I'm alone, I can't stop but browse forums and websites about the issue like a madman.
Thanks a lot for your help and sorry for any rude thing I might have said.
|
OCD
|
So, I suffer from ocd. I lost my faith in Jesus and I worry about hypothetical Gods (who may be from a religion or not) and I repeat words, phrases, like small prayers in my head in order to counter intrusive thoughts and clear any misunderstandings.
I was peeing and some intrusive thoughts were attacking my mind. I was worrying and wanted to quickly inform Gods about my intrusive thoughts and clear any possible misunderstandings. So, I whispered some words. I also tried waiting to finish my business but ocd was telling me to hurry and counter the intrusive thoughts by fast praying to Gods with my mind.,
So, I whispered some words to counter the intrusive thoughts while peeing, Now, ocd tells me that I may have angered Gods just because I said some words to Them while peeing. What if They thought they considered it as an offense?
|
OCD
|
Sorry for any english mistakes, it isn't my primary language.
So I have been on medication for one or two months now. There is one to help me focus (Medikinet), another one for the hyperactvity part (called Hydroxyzine) and some to help me sleep.
Sadly my sleeping pattern has been a mess and I have a lot of trouble to get up, so it ends up being quite early in the afternoon. I tend to forget to take the two important ones too and it seems that I feel way more sensitive when it happens. Like, I get angry way more often, I get mood swings and feel kinda heavy more often as well. And some things can even make me feel pretty bad, close to crying, when it surely shouldn't.
May it be because I got used to take the meds when I got them and now I forget too often? If yes, how can I make sure I really never forget or forget less often to take them? I'm afraid to make myself some issues when I'm in this state.
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ADHD
|
A yr ago when I turned 18 and went into my freshman yr of college I found a guy on tik tok. I dmed him and asked for his sc and said he was cute. As we were talking on Snapchat he said that he was 16 and a junior in hs, I thought nothing of it bc it felt like I was still 17 and I didn’t think it was weird at the time for 18 yr olds to flirt with 16 yr olds anyway. We texted a lot and FaceTimed once, I would flirt with him (like calling him hot randomly, which I did once to a shirtless pic of him) and suddenly my parents made me block him since they’re narcissistic and don’t want me to have contact with anyone. I unblocked him later and profusely apologized, explaining that’s my parents are narcs in like a paragraph long text. I started to get ocd about it so I blocked him again.
Was it bad for me to flirt with a 16 year old when I’m 18? Was my apology too much? Could I go to jail for this? Please answer :((
|
OCD
|
So, I’m back to in person school mostly now. I’ve been making a few friends, and there’s this one that I’ve found questionable. On top of doing a few things I don’t really approve of, morally speaking, they mentioned offhand a few times they do weed. Edibles specifically, they can’t smoke because of their asthma… and this kinda just sent me back. I have a little bit of childhood trauma regarding my father’s addictions. Any time he quit, he would replace. Alcohol to cigarettes to vaping, always chewing tobacco or nicotine gum because he couldn’t make it through the work day 100% sober, and the biggest one, pot. I found his stash at age 11 while looking for a screwdriver, he hid it in a toolbox. I knew what it looked like, and at that time, it was illegal. It has been legalized in our state since, and I had mixed emotions about it when it occurred. Whether this would be a good or bad thing. My father really struggles, he’s even gone so far as to seek opioids from me after we had wisdom teeth surgery, and I had to start counting my pills. After one fight, when I was young, 12 maybe, and I told him he was putting addiction over our family, he told me I was the one doing that. Because I couldn’t love him with it.
I am working on not associating certain things about him with his negativity. Bipolar disorder, as I’ve begun to inherit it (part of the reason his addiction was so bad, it made his mental health so much worse), for example. But I am not there with addiction/drugs, and can’t decide if I want to be. I’ve established I will never consume anything. But part of me just wants to be away from this reminder of him, and all of that. I wish there was a good way to do so.
|
ptsd
|
I just started taking Aduvanz 50mg(This is what the rest of the world calls Vyvanse or Elvanse) After Ritalin had me feeling too many peaks and downs(I was on 40mg modified release)
I really feel amazing when on Aduvanz. Not in a druggie kind of way. I just feel like it works exactly how it should. I would say that i did get that very euphoric feeling the first 3 days, but i expect and want that to go away. Sure it feels great, but i dont want to chase that feeling and i do have a very high understandig of how what goes up must come down. I just want it to feel like it feels when the euphoria wears off and im left with a calm/more focused sensation.
Now..I will say that the effect for me lasts a good 8 hours with a decent comedown that lasts 4 hours. When its bedtime i do struggle a little bit to fall asleep, but i am able to get a solid 7 hrs ( i know thats not optimal, but its not detrimental) My problem comes the day after. When i wake up and the meds are out of my body i feel like an actual trainwreck. My skin feels hot and kinda weird, my mind is foggy and im just left feeling kind of **sad** The side effects go away ones i take it again, so im obv dealing with some sort of acute withdrawel. I also do have the normal side effects while on it such as: low appetite and raised pulse (not too bad)
I want to take breaks sometimes to rest my mind, because it can be straining being medicated for so long, but the *hangover* worries me. Can someone that has taken it for longer than me(1week) let me know if they felt anything simular and if it gets better or easier to deal with?
Side note. Did anyone else kinda lose interest in some things they used to do before? Video games for example(does this get better xD)
Or a slight feeling of not being interested in ur partner( i can manage that kind of, because i know i love her off the meds. Doesnt change in 1 week) ..mm ranting, but i dont know how to phrase that feeling
I really do enjoy the 8-14 hrs its in my system tho.
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ADHD
|
I really love art, but for the past couple of years I’ve been avoiding it because I don’t want to go through the whole song and dance of obsessive compulsive rituals just to feel like it’s “safe” to draw. It’s super weird, but it’s like if I don’t do my compulsions, my art (or writing or whatever I’m doing at the time) will just have this haze of “bad vibes” around it and I won’t want to interact. I’ll be afraid that interacting with my art will somehow trigger my obsessive thoughts again. Somehow, partaking in my rituals cleanses my mind and therefore my art of the “bad vibes”. I don’t even know what the “vibes” are. I’m not sure if the reason I feel obligated to do rituals is so that my art doesn’t become so “tainted” that I become afraid to draw altogether due to the association.
I don’t know if I just sound crazy, or what. It’s so hard to describe what it is I’m feeling, but it makes me wonder if anyone else has this issue with weird pseudo-contamination messing with their hobbies.
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OCD
|
The only thing keeping me going right now in life is this Mexican restaurant that I order nachos from and these really amazing taco style things. They're like tacos but star shaped and thick and crunchy and you get loads of filling. I get the chilli beef option and it comes with salsa and sour cream and jalapeños all mixed in. It's delicious and spicy and makes me feel something. I'm not even hungry but I just ordered some again. I get the same order every time: 2 x nachos con queso and 1 x mex taco tinga. I'm wasting so much money on this. I'm trying to limit myself to ordering it once every other day.
Other than that my life is empty. So much of it is messed up by my sleep schedule. I'm doing a PhD and it's remote working and there's no routine so I can sleep in and nap whenever I want. I nap whenever I start feeling low, or overwhelmed, or tired of life, or just bored. I'm averaging about 3 naps a day, but there is absolutely no routine to them. Often end up living nocturnally.
And then I miss out on things in the day where I could be making myself join in events and talking to people and skills building and socials and academic talks and blah blah etc etc. All fantastic things that I can't bring myself to do and I feel guilty for not doing and then I know that I'm wasting my life and my money and time in this city during what should be a once in a lifetime experience. I'm also somehow getting by on doing the absolute minimum of work for my PhD but I don't think it'll last much longer. Monologue over.
|
depression
|
I'm starting Elvanse for the first time and I want to keep a record of its effects, but I'm finding myself totally overwhelmed by the many ways that could be done. Has anyone found a solid method for themselves? What kinds of things are best to take note of? I don't want to overcomplicate it because then I won't do it, but I want the data to be helpful. Got some real analysis paralysis goin on right now, so I'd be grateful for any advice!
|
ADHD
|
When I’m on stimulants I feel like an asshole. I zone in on shit but then can’t carry a coherent conversation with someone. I’ll ignore people or just be unintentionally rude. I feel weird and anxious so I can’t communicate with people. I sweat a lot which is nasty. Then when I’m coming down I get so very depressed and not able to do anything productive. But without stimulants my adhd symptoms are hard to manage. Does anyone have advice as to what I should do?
|
ADHD
|
Jou ladys and genterman. I hav a question today for you. Does it happen to you as well, that you are just randomly remember the most painful shit in your past? It also happens with nice things but the ugly stuff stays way longer so its more a problem or it is more of a synthom I recognice. On this point i wanne say that I'm 28, gardener and living in switzerland and I'm sorry if my english isn't perfect.🥲 So, my story of development started 3 years ago after my devorce and took of speed when my best friend and my Ex (another one I really fell in love with last year) fell in love together and I sold the company my mate and I builted up together becaus it hurt so much. I had heavy depression and an lifecrisis this year. So I sat on my bike and cycled up to the netherlands where i worked as a sailor/matros and learned about my self. In this time I dated a psychologist that had ADHD and told me that everything I was telling her sounded like ADHD.😂
Now I'm back in switzerland have my shit together again (+/-) and it happens often that I feel good and just doing some gardenwork when I just thinking around in my head. Everything from a songidea to noses of dogs, the next week, mistakes in my last relationship, lifeplans, sexfantasies or memorys of the past and there it hits me. In this case, it was a memory of the time I sold the company but still where working in it. I was so full of anger and hate for my co-founder and friend. In that time I was so so angry and missunderstood. A long story. What intrests is if you have such moments as well. Just random emotions popping up and how do you deal with it becaus im this case I was blocked and mad an entire day and thats not really healthy or usefull for my path in life. This radical change. You naa what I mean?😅
It goes even furter when I need to rebuiled my behaver becaus I have forget why I stopped doing things like meeting my former best friend or lifedecisions in generall.
Thank you for reading :3
Keep going and only the best for you :)
|
ADHD
|
Before I start I'm not officially diagnosed (though strongly believe I have adhd and have an appointment set for November 3rd to get evaluated by an expert, have already gone to other 4 non specialists and have not been convinced or pointed to a direction to solve my problems) therefore not medicated.
Throughout the last month I've been having a very difficult time studying. I can't sit down and study for the life of me. I 'd rather do anything else than sit down and study despite it being the thing I want to do most. Sometimes I succeed and sit down but my mind is racing and can't concentrate at all. Other times I might get some stuff done but very rarely. Typical adhd stuff. I've been debating that maybe burnout is the issue but I'm not sure. I'm definitely mentally tired from the last few months and the failing at my responsibilities and wants part. But I'm neither depressed nor extremely anxious. Also I want to note that this isn't my regular studying ability.
So I was thinking about it having to do something with the external dopamine boosts or lack thereof.
The only thing I've been thinking is that I need to study but my body doesn't want to cooperate at all. It feels like it is the most painful thing ever.
Maybe if my day didn't consist only of the desire to study and failing at it, and I filled it with more pleasurable activities like some sport (I've been dying to start boxing training) or studying outside more, going out with people more, even trying some romance stuff if given the opportunity. Maybe these would fill the dopamine tank somewhat?
Something else to note is that from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I want to play videogames. But even if I give in during the day it doesn't satisfy me that much after some time passes (most nights I engage in gaming to wind down after the stress for an hour or two).
What is your advice/opinion?
|
ADHD
|
Ok so I have 30 and been dealing with panic disorder for a year.
I was scared of everything, having a heart attack, having a stroke and now I'm scared of getting schizophrenic because I started to notice that I was having mind pops.
At the beginning it was when falling asleep and waking up. Then I put my full attention on it and now I get it when I'm bored or doing boring things like gardening or washing the dishes.
These are completely random words or phrases like very short chatter, sometimes in the tone or accent of a friend or someone heard on television recently for example.
I know these are thoughts or memories but I can't help but tell myself that maybe I'm starting to hear voices in my head and going psychotic.
Do you think this is serious ?
Someone been through this already and if you were able to get rid of it?
Thank you friends
|
OCD
|
What if he doesn’t believe me? I’m scared that I might be faking it or something, I’m terrified of the uncertainty. Please somebody help me. I don’t know if to tell him about the groinal responses, because what if he doesn’t belive me or even worse what if I’m lying to myself and am in denial? I’m so scared, please help.
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone! A few OCDI grads were thinking that a Facebook support group to talk about recovery would be a good idea. If anyone is interested in joining, the group is called “McLean OCDI Alum” and this is the link https://www.facebook.com/groups/397170271966490
|
OCD
|
So basically, in my mind right now, I have many projects. Learn how to program, how to make websites, how to improve my photography skills, learn how to draw, read books etc.
Thing is, I always say: I'm going to study and be a programmer! Then I download all the stuff I need, enroll in a free course, watch a couple of lectures, start a project and then I completely forget about it after a few days / a week.
Earlier this year I was hell bent on enrolling on an architecture course. I was even taking beginner courses on Coursera and stuff like that. I even built a couple of floor plans on Floorplanner.com
Then I see a cool photograph and be like: I'm going to be a photographer! Then I spend the next few days reading all about it, and then I forget about it.
How did you guys manage to start a project and stick to it until the end? I can't finish what I started if my life depended on it.
|
ADHD
|
Hi! My team and I recently launched a nonprofit in the US focused on **addressing male hesitancy to mental healthcare through golf**. The organization essentially organizes scramble-style outings for our participants (we call them 'members') and embeds therapist/psychiatrist-curated group exercises in each foursome to introduce the golfers to the style in which therapy is presented and used (e.g., 18-questions for the group, one per hole, increasing in how personal or sensitive the topic is hole-to-hole). After the round, should any member have found benefit from the exercises, we have local therapy practices on hand to answer additional questions (or simply hear about how the round went, they're great listeners).
The **most important aspect to make this successful is the members themselves** \- if you, or anyone you know, may be interested - please give [**scramblegolfclub.com**](https://scramblegolfclub.com/) a visit and fill out the contact form ([https://www.scramblegolfclub.com/contact](https://www.scramblegolfclub.com/contact))! We'll be organizing outgoings via clusters of zip codes so the more folks in your area, the greater likelihood one of the first outings will be a town near you. Unfortunately we’re only focusing on the US for the time being but hope to eventually have chapters abroad as well.
Separately - appreciate any and all thoughts and feedback. We're a small team and value any help and advice!
Cheers - SGC
|
depression
|
My girlfriend told me yesterday, "I feel like there is about a dozen songs playing over each other on repeat in your head, but every now and then one plays louder than the others and I can't compete for your attention against that one, but it's okay, I know you can't keep your attention from me for too long..."
She's def not wrong. And bless her for being cool with it.
|
ADHD
|
Not a comfort item or a special interest but something, for me spiders, that no matter what brings be joy. Plush Spider. Joy. Art. Joy. An actual Spider (As long as it's not on me cause skin sensitivity). Joy.
Trust me it's 100% different from a special interest as i have no interest in learning everything about spiders, unlike my other special interests
Is this a normal thing?????
|
aspergers
|
Days ago, it seemed to me as I may have seen a man vanishing when I was not seeing him for some seconds.
There are some possible ways he may have went but since I cant confirm it, I worry that I may have seen a glitch in the similation of system if in case we are in one.
After 5-15 minutes unable to find the man, I decided to take photos of the place in order to show it to my friends and try to find an other explanation about where the man may have went.
I think I was not going to say anything about the simulation. I just wanted an other explanation because my ocd was triggered.
I worry that by taking photos I may have angered Gods or the programers of the simulation. What if They or they thought that I was trying to expose the simulation? Even though I did not want to expose anything. They were just normal photos of the place in order to find possible ways that the man may have taken. There was not any glitch in the photos.
I am tired. Tired of worrying. Cant I get a break? If I hadnot seen that man, I would not worry about it. If I had not taken photos, I would feel calmer. I took photos because my mental illness was telling me not to take. I thought that I would feel better if I ignore my intrusive thoughts.
|
OCD
|
I constantly do this thing where my feet ALWAYS have to be moving. Whether I’m just rolling my foot around or I’m clenching my toes I CANT STOP. It bothers me the most when I have to do it to be able to fall asleep. If I’m not tap tap tapping away, I’m never going to get to sleep. If there’s music playing anywhere at any time, suddenly my toes are going with the beat. I didn’t notice this for the longest time until just before my diagnosis a little over a year ago. I just thought it was normal.
I can’t be the only one who gets the feet taps, right? Is there any way I can possibly stop doing this or am I stuck tapping forever?
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I am looking for a guide on how to make plans with others. It's hard for me to initiate plans with others and I often forget things like confirming plans, time, place, etc. If anyone had a step by step guide I could follow that would be great. I could only find this website: [https://www.succeedsocially.com/plans](https://www.succeedsocially.com/plans)
but this is for making plans with groups and one on one plans with closer friends are different, and I feel like it skips a lot of the more basic steps.
|
ADHD
|
Hello I am a student who will be attending UC Davis and wanted to ask if I could meet someone
|
aspergers
|
Is it really common? Share you experiences\~
I can't post a poll lol. We really struggle to regulate/understand/control our emotions. We feel intensely. Be it good or bad! How many of you were diagnosed with bipolar too? or do you feel that you're bipolar? Or it's just depression with ADHD?
Do you feel like you can't even trust you emotions/feelings/impulses because it changes so frequently that the next day you end up questioning your decisions/choices! (I feel that constantly)
I feel overwhelmed most of the time! Mood swings are quite common! I am too happy in a moment and I become really sad/depressed the next moment!
brain never shuts up!
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ADHD
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Today during some downtime in a meeting while my manager took a call non-work related my coworkers were asking about some things and it came up with them wanting me to do something that would be hell for me for reasons I can tie back to being an aspie. Like loud noise, too many people, not enough people I know, tight spaces around people not understanding social stuff. I got tired of them and just said I have ASD and that is why there is no chance of it happening. One coworker knew what ASD was and just went "yeah that makes sense and why you like XYZ things". Another asked what ASD was then went silent after I said what ASD stands for.
​
The point of me posting this is a mix of wanting to share that sharing you have ASD can go well and be a good thing while also there is a chance it can change things with people. I think for me it will work out and is something I have learned to just openly share nowadays because hiding it seems to never go well always situations come up where it's hard to explain without explaining I am an apie like today. I openly talk about it in context but isn't something I run out to tell people except new managers so they understand why I act how I do in meetings - I'm remote full time so never deal with the hell of an open office again.
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aspergers
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I created a system that does all of my executive functioning for me and it's helped me a lot. I wrote this as a comment to someone else's post and I just want to share with you all in case it can help you guys. Maybe you don't need something as extreme as this, but here it is anyway.
It all started with the "alarmy" app. It's taken some trial and error, but I've come up with a system that FORCES me to have a morning routine. This is great for people who have dyschronometria as one of their symptoms. (Inability to feel/sense time passing accurately) It also helps if you struggle with hyperfocussing on tasks.
You can set alarms that can only be turned off by scanning a barcode. (If you make a mistake and the alarm goes off in an inappropriate situation, you can turn off the phone or hit the emergency button and do a really easy, long, REALLY ANNOYING and SUPER BORING game/activity. It will be silent during that time, so no worries.)
Here is how I used that to make myself a functional human:
I printed off SEVERAL different bar codes and taped them around the house. I use to just scan the barcode on the toothpaste or whatever, but eventually that lead to me hoarding these items in my room, so I don't recommend that.Then I use these barcode alarms to drag me around the house.
I have one on the opposite side of my bedroom that I use to drag my ass out of bed so I can take my meds and go back to sleep for like 20 min.
Then I have another one called "second wakeup call" that does not have a barcode, I just switch it off and attempt to keep sleeping.
Then I have another one called "get up" that leads me to scan a barcode in my kitchen above my coffee maker. This is the hardest one to actually follow, so in addition, the ring tone for this alarm is "Tortilla, should we get up?" Tortilla is my dog. She associates the phrase "should we get up"? With me getting my ass out of bed. So she gets excited and gives me kisses which usually is enough to wake me up. If somehow this doesn't get me out of bed, or the dog calms down too quickly, I have yet another barcode in my back yard, under my deck called "take the dog outside." For this alarm, the ring tone is "Tortilla, do you want to go outside?" This, without fail, will cause my dog to jump all over me, slobber all over my face, cry, bark etc until we go outside. The rest of my morning involves me being dragged all over the house trying to turn off these incessant alarms until finally I am ready and leaving the house on time, with my keys and wallet in hand and with a work lunch in my bag. My roommates hate me, but I can hold down a job now.
Side note: If you decide to try my incessant alarm method, I recommend taping a barcode to the inside of your planner/agenda/bullet journal and scheduling yourself some planning time. I am not a morning person but this makes my life work.
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ADHD
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literally how do you manage your time??? if anyone here, having adhd, AND successfully manages their time (bonus points of you’re also a full time college student) PLEASE LET ME IN ON LIFE’s SECRETS😭
i’m struggling so hard…
i need to take a course load of about 16-17 credit hours this next spring semester and i’ve only ever take 12… four classes, at most.
I become so burned out, very very easily and it’s frustrating to the point where i spiral and become hopeless about my future…
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ADHD
|
I cause myself pain by doing thing to harm my progression and think negatively.
I could put the effort to be more positive but it feel too much.
I hate myself on how I can't do anything right, I don't think I can live in this world, I can't commit to anything or put time to anything just because I love doing nothing
I just find it easy to do nothing and hate myself, I could say that I love hating and feeling sorry for myself.
It easy to dream than to do and it easy to not do anything.
There nothing that anyone can do to help since I fully control myself.
I don't want to be exhausted, I don't want to feel tired mentally all the time, I hate feeling like I have no time for myself, It feel like I'll never have enough time, I hate deciding what thing to do first or last, I hate stopping doing something fun, I hate waiting and even if I improve, I can always ruin that progress, I hate my past because I made me like this, I hate how weak I am that I'm not willing to change, I do not have enough will power or anything at all to help myself.
If killing myself wasn't painful, it would be easier than trying to improve myself
The thing is, life take a lot of effort and I just put no effort in life and depending on what I want in life, it could be more effort.
I'm a sad person, there are people in worse positions in mine and yet I do nothing, it goes to show how I don't want to try, that I'd rather give up than try, the only people who deserve to get out of the bad place are people who really tried
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depression
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I need help badly, I’ve had this damn book for 3 months and I haven’t gotten past the prep test to see where I am in school mentally. I need this test done ASAP but I can’t even think about the test if I don’t study for it, anyone else get through this without any kind of meds? My mom won’t get me any and I have no way to get them myself, please any way to help me focus on studying and the hours long test would be so much help, I’ve tried everything
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ADHD
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tl;dr at the end.
I hadn't heard the term body doubling before (where you work on and complete hard tasks alongside another person), but my eldest brought it up because it's something that helps them a lot.
And they put me on to a few videos that might be of use for anyone who gets help from body doubling, but maybe doesn't have someone able to be there for them.
It's three videos in a series: a gal with a video of cleaning their room for an hour, folding their laundry for an hour, and performing self care, just chatting at you, so you could have someone there to do a task with at the same time. She was hoping these could help people with depression and/or ADHD.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsQQ92VzG0I&list=PLYLSr3SgdOiVMXGZYQVO7-6xsWajcY\_Km](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsQQ92VzG0I&list=PLYLSr3SgdOiVMXGZYQVO7-6xsWajcY_Km)
So if you haven't heard about it before, hope it might be of use.
tl;dr If it helps to have someone do things with you, the above links to a series of videos of someone doing tasks so that you have someone you can do the same tasks with.
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ADHD
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Is this fair to you? Why or why not? I realize we have much bigger issues to deal with, but men having to hold their tongues every time women comment about another woman‘s body is just plain odd. I wonder if they would have been fired had they replied, „damn straight, or „yeah, she does have a nice butt“.
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aspergers
|
Hi all
For those that have had success with inositol for OCD, can you please tell me what you've done in relation to dosage and timeframe.
The studies report 18g of inositol for six weeks - with effect taking place from week three.
After six weeks do you continue with such high doses? It says nothing about a maintenance dose - or is it implied that it needs to be maintained at 18g a day for effectiveness?
Personally I find NAC effective, but have never taken inositol for such a length of time at those doses, so currently doing it.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8780431/
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OCD
|
The past month or so I have progressively become more and more aware of the way I swallow but more specifically when I’m swallowing food. This was a sensation of me trying to manually swallow and my throat(?) back of my mouth(?) locking up and preventing me from swallowing. I literally have to take a deep breath and remind myself I know I how to swallow, this is very panic striking for me bc there’s food in the back of mouth/beginning of my throat. I know is only in my head bc when I don’t think about it I can eat fine but as the day goes on I become more and more aware of just swallowing my saliva and end up basically unable to eat dinner bc I feel like if I swallow, I’ll swallow wrong and will choke. I also know it’s in my head bc I never have any issue drinking water but if I have soup I still panic. I’m worried about my health as I am already very small and don’t want to lose weight. It’s gotten to a point where the thought of eating food is causing me anxiety. I know everyone is gonna say go to the doctor and I’m working on it right now. I just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this or has any advice
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OCD
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so i thought i was over this real event ocd because i was like you know i didn't have any ill or bad intentions and i didn't do anything harmful but i still feel massive regret and guilt
I also have moments where I'm okay and somehow my mind decides to conjure up memories from when i was a child / middle school and it literally picks at everything from me trying to remember if i said anything bad or did something horrible...all i can do is ruminate and ask for forgiveness...for what? I don't remember
I was sitting on my bed and i suddenly had the urge to say sorry to my sister....i felt like crying
Ughhhhh hopefully I'll find a therapist that can help me, trying to keep a calm demeanor is hell when i feel like I'm crumbling underneath
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OCD
|
Really frustrated with myself and just need to rant.
I was diagnosed with ADHD pretty young but have avoided medication because I had a lot of help getting through middle and high school and the first years of college were manageable because I like my major and classes were not too demanding. Last year (during the pandemic) I got put on academic probation because I had to withdraw from a bunch of classes I was failing.
Now I'm a senior and trying to get back on track so I can graduate in the spring because I recently accepted a job offer that I'm super excited about but starts immediately after graduation, so graduating late is no longer an option. Virtual learning *really* fucked me over and I feel like I've lost all control and motivation in all aspects of life over the past year and half and I am struggling so much.
I've pretty much decided that I finally want to explore the medication route, but I **can't bring myself to actually do it** and it's so frustrating. I know that it's going to be a fairly complicated process because I am thinking about going through my school health program since I'm enrolled in school insurance. The problem is that I feel like they're going to hassle me because it's so common for college kids to try to abuse stimulants. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since middle school and am already enrolled in the university disability center for my accommodations, but I am still afraid they'll just make the process more complicated than necessary so I just keep putting it off.
It's so frustrating!! I know exactly what I need to do in order to make things just a little bit easier for myself BUT I JUST CAN'T GET MYSELF TO DO IT. ugh.
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ADHD
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I'm trying to help my friend. He has constant nightmares and self esteem issues really bad. About a year ago, he was in a serious long term relationship that came to an end, it was a little messy, as break ups often are, but soon we learned that she was telling friends and family he had been physically abusive to her- I won't go into too much description, but after years of knowing a person, I know he isn't capable of abuse. He's the most good natured person I've ever met.... I think she just wanted to hurt him. And she did. She turned his whole tribe against him in an instant by playing the victim card. Friendships he had cultivated for years and a whole community of people he had ties to instantly believed the "damsel in distress", and cut ties with him. No one even asked him if it was true, people just started blocking him and not taking calls. I couldn't believe it, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes... Now he has nightmares 2x a week at least, depression, anxiety and some suicidal thoughts. He tried therapy but unfortunately got paired with the good ol "im just here for the money" type, so it was no help, and now he refuses to go back. I know time will help heal these wounds, but the hardest part is that he doesn't have anyone from that group that grounds him. Looking over PTSD sites they encourage people to lean on family and friends- and his abandoned him. Is there anything I can do to help him recover safely?
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ptsd
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Got recommend to this subreddit, if you seen my posts elsewhere, sorry for annoying you, I just want people to talk to.
I’m in therapy because of guilt I have how I treated my girlfriend after I broke up with her the first time, and now that guilt and anxiety has become relationship OCD. The anxiety in my head has completely transferred, going from regret and shame that was in my head 24/7 the last 2 months to now being overwhelmed with thoughts I don’t find my girlfriend attractive anymore, and it all triggered because I saw a flaw of her nostril on FaceTime seeing one nostril is larger then the other, so now I think I don’t find her attractive because of her nose. It happened in the blink of an eye. All I look at is her uneven nostril.
It sucks before looking at her and pictures, and saying she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, to now not thinking that because of something so petty. You cant even notice it, but with OCD, it’s all I look for, I keep looking. Now I feel no attraction, even tho I know how pretty she is. It’s never been a problem before, so how do I just still looking at it and having it affect me? I need advice to fix this before I end up leaving the love of my life, as I’m typing this I’m balling my eyes holding her stuffed animal hoping these thoughts aren’t permanent, and they go away before I make this mistake and end it. My therapist said maybe my feelings changed for her, but I found her as the most pretty girl in the world before, but how does one FaceTime call change that feeling in the blink of an eye ? I just want my mind to stop looking at her nose, because thinking you’re done with someone because of that makes no sense, and it’s why it’s making me cry thinking if I leave her, I keep looking at our pictures and crying.
Tdlr: I’ve had extreme anxiety for months. It used to be guilt from how I treated my girlfriend during our former breakup period, now one FaceTime call has me keep looking at her nose, and questioning if I even find her attractive or even love her. I’m now looking at everybody’s noses as well.
Today, I told her I couldn’t FaceTime her anymore after work, I said it as a joke to surprise her, when I called her, she answered as she was balling her eyes out thinking we couldn’t talk which is something we do every day. I can’t leave her, someone who loves and cares about me so much.
I want my feelings to go back to the time when she was my best friend, and the person I am in love with, and when I knew she was the prettiest girl in the world. I look at her now, and I’m trying to have the same kind of emotional love I used to have when I looked at her, and the happiness, I want it to come back so I look at her and be amazed like I used to be, but right now when I do look at her, I try to force myself to look at her with the same thoughts I used to have, and I try to make myself realize how pretty I thought she was, no matter the picture she sends me.
I want to stop looking at every single persons nose, I want to just not even think of it. Because right now when I look at her, those thoughts aren’t in my head anymore, and I want them back.
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OCD
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Today I was given the best news I could receive. I was offered a full time position as a software engineer at a big company. I thought I was gon graduate without a job and take a long time to find one as programming interviews are the death of me - at least leetcode like interviews. But for once, I was recognize beyond my buggy code.
I’ve raw dogged adhd up until this past summer, when I started getting medicated and doing therapy, and I thought I couldn’t make it as a programmer because I would fail the technical interviews or my bad executive dysfunction tbh. There’s still much I have to learn to work more in sync with the squirrel runnin in my head, but one victory and step at a time.
TL;DR: got a job, thought adhd would make the process longer and excruciating.
If there’s anything I’d like for you to take away: celebrates the victories, and don’t let your last few Ls discourage you; as many Ls as it take a W is bound to happen :)
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ADHD
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I went to a dental checkup, two cavities in my back teeth. Each one on the opposite side, so my dentist wouldn't fix them in the same appointment for some reason. I've always been really bad about dental hygiene, clinical depression making me too depressed to care and ADHD making me forget when I do. It's not even a big deal, neither have symptoms and aren't that deep, but I just feel like I've finally got what I deserve as a person, that this reflects on me.
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I'm on medication, I have a therapist. I finished high school English 3 years early, skipped 8th-grade math. I should be better than this. But I'm not. I will never be enough, I will never be good enough to just accomplish a basic human task. I feel like this is what I get, even though I've been reassured it's not a huge deal.
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ADHD
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Sorry for format I’m on my phone.
TL;DR at end.
My (f23) bf (m26) has ADHD and regularly hyper-fixates on different things every few months (it was animal crossing, then pokemon, then he moved onto skateboarding etc etc.), I don’t mind this, it’s one of his little quirks and it’s actually pretty fun to try new things with him and see him get super excited about it all!
But here’s the problem, a new girl started at his work in the same department with him and she shares a few hobbies and similarities to my bf, as well as being the same age. I didn’t mind this, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and I’ve met her a few times, she seems sweet so it’s nice to see him hang out with someone new who won’t treat him like crap. However she seems to be his new hyperfixation to the point that it’s starting to make me feel upset, he goes out of his way to spend time with her, talks about her 24/7, wants to get her life of gifts for Xmas (he wants to spend more money on her than we spent on anyone else, about the same amount we spent on our son). Me and the girl share the same likes aswell, not only has he bought her the exact same presents as the ones he got me for Christmas, he’s bought her almost £40 extra, £40 we don’t have (he’s put in on credit cards). He even ignored his own son (1yr) last night when I brought him over to say Goodnight because he was too busy talking to her. When I bring it up he gets super defensive and mad and tells me I’m being a crazy jealous gf and blowing everything out of proportion or being dramatic, he doesn’t see that he’s fixated on her.
I don’t think he’s cheating on me, I know he wouldn’t do that and I trust him, it’s just starting to really wear me down how much more effort he puts into her than me as well as all the money he’s spending. I don’t know what to do, any advice would be great.
TL;DR: bf has hyper-fixated on the new girl at work and is putting way more effort, time and money into his relationship with her rather than his relationship with me and his son. He gets super defensive and mad when I bring it up. Advice needed please.
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ADHD
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Hi guys so I’m sure a lot of you experience other mental health issues on top of ADHD. I have a whole little mental illness cocktail going on, Bulimia included in the cocktail.
Long story short I had to be prescribed Vyvanse and Adderall along with Cymbalta. All three medications have a side effect of weight loss/appetite loss. I never imagined it made you lose any and all interest in food.
Since I started on them 11/30/2021 I have gone down 4 pounds or so. I’ve been working towards recovery from my eating disorder but hit this little bump in the road. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?
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ADHD
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I got caught up in the 4 foot rule for brush and was breaking up some branches in an overly elaborate way trying to process as much as possible with a mulcher. The achievement was that today I snapped out of it and cut up a couple very large limbs in a simpler way and put them out at the curb.
It's ridiculous how much I care about what the sanitation workers think and the idea that they may be judging me as well as my neighbors should any waste be rejected with a sticker explaining the guidelines. I've had this survey idea as a parody.
#Solid Waste Quality Survey
1. How do you find the smell of our garbage?
a. What smell?
b. It smells like a purifying corpse.
2. How do you find the quantity of our garbage?
a. I have nominated you for the Goldman Environmental Prize.
b. Greta Thunberg will sail to your grave to defecate on it.
3. How is the weight of our garbage?
a. My muscles are beginning to atrophy.
b. I need physical therapy from the strain.
4. How wasteful is our garbage?
a. You're obviously an entitled prick to be discarding so many useful items.
b. Everything was already crumbling to dust.
5. How was our delivery?
a. Ran after the truck in boxer shorts.
b. Camped at the curb overnight fending off scavengers.
6. How do you find our waste bins?
a. Falling apart and difficult to use.
b. They are clean enough to eat off of.
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OCD
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I don't know why it *always happens*, *every time* *I* sit *in front* on my computer theirs a *thought* that I have a stuff or things at the back of my gaming chair and then it's going to fly to the outside of the window. I tried CBT but it doesn't work. *Sorry* for my bad *English*
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OCD
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Just a a clip to remind us how crazy pure O is. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p5Ue-3LBesc
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OCD
|
I know we all have felt like this — like disappearing is the best option for our body and mind so it could finally rest. And lately I’ve been feeling it like something I cannot shake, like an intrusive thought, but stronger. This year has been hell for me. I changed jobs three times (and overall the changes were not for a bad motive, just opportunities that appeared and I grasped them), but I still feel terribly guilty over things I did not have control of. My self steem is at its lowest. My self confidence is nonexistent and I no longer have the desire to do anything. Not sex. Not reading. Not talking to friends. Not anything that involves getting out of my house. The only thing that keeps me sane is thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can use my medicines to leave me so out of place nothing will hurt me anymore. I want to take Rivotril (clonazepam) everyday so I don’t feel anxious about the most trivial things. I want to stop thinking so bad I’m thinking about letting go of my obsessive need to always control my mind. I don’t know if it makes sense, and I don’t care if it’s right or wrong, I just want my mind to shut up for a few seconds. I never do anything wrong. I don’t drink and don’t indulge in reckless behaviors and I’m a 24 year old woman. I’m tired, just oh so tired, and my mind needs a break. I need a break. I need to not be in control of myself, to let go and stop thinking too much. Have you ever felt this way? What should I do?
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depression
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I'm dating my wonderful Aspie best friend. He's a genius and so awesome in so many ways.
He was the one who constantly showered me with praise and HE asked me out.
Now we're dating the praise is less. Affection is getting better, but the sex is sometimes ...difficult..
He won't look at me during sex, and eye contact during orgasming is a big turn on for me.
I asked him if maybe it makes him uncomfortable or if maybe there's something else up. He just says he IS looking at me and essentially it's all in my head.
I'm just wondering is this an Aspergers issue in adult relationships? Or is this just a big red flag?
I know it's technically relationship advice, but I didn't want people who really don't know anything about Aspergers weighing in.
Edit. Thanks for everyone's advice. I'll definitely try to find a book that has a good balanced opinion on dating someone with Aspergers as someone has suggested.
I think my biggest problem is that he's not telling me if he's uncomfortable or that he doesn't like it. It's hurtful to think that perhaps he doesn't trust me enough or doesn't feel comfortable with me, after 14 years of being very close friends. I'm not quite sure how to work on that with him .
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aspergers
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I know you guys aren't doctors, just curious if anyone knows why this would happen. I switched from Adderall XR to Vyvanse because Adderall XR hurt my stomach. I was on 15 mg Adderall XR, and started at 20 MG Vyvanse (I know it's super low), went up to 30 MG Vyvanse and ultimately went to 40 MG Vyvanse, which should be equivalent to 15 MG Adderall XR. It didn't really work at 20 and 30 mg, which makes sense since that's a lower dose than 15 mg Adderall XR. But when I switched to 40 MG, I got insanely bad anxiety, even up to 2 days after I had taken it. I only took 40 MG for two days.
Now I'm back on 15 mg Adderall XR and feel like I can focus, but also tired because my mind is finally quiet and I can get a break from the damn anxiety. I always heard of Vyvanse as some miracle drug with less side effects and less comedowns, but it made me feel like I was going insane. Basically I had a constant feeling of unease and sense of impending doom. I couldn't calm down until I fell asleep and even then had nightmares the entire time. Now that I'm back on Adderall, I'm just going to try to eat better and see if that helps my stomach problems.
Anyway, rant over, just curious if anyone else does well on Adderall and badly on Vyvanse, or if anyone knows why this would happen to me. I was under the impression that if I did well on Adderall, I'd do well on Vyvanse. Definitely didn't expect to feel drastically different. Maybe I need the amphetamine salts that Adderall has and Vyvanse doesn't?
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ADHD
|
If I believe that nothing comes after death, then what does it matter how we live our lives while we’re here? Rich or broke, married or single, smart or stupid, happy or empty. Does it really matter? We won’t have a conscious to even be aware of our achievements or our failures after we’re gone. There’s nothing from our past that could possibly haunt us after death. It’ll be like if we never existed in the first place.
I can see the issues with nihilism in the grand scheme of things regarding human progress. But when you’ve already realized that you won’t ever do anything substantial. That you’re doomed to a life at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Why even bother? I don’t provide any use, nor will I ever.
Maybe things can get better, but that’s not without it’s required effort. I’m already beat. If I had the energy to make the change and the motivation to do so, then I probably would. But it all seems kinda pointless. I make more enemies than I do friends, I can’t hold a job for no more than two years, and I’m too mentally burnt out to ever learn anything that would land me on a respectable place in society. Knowing all of this, dying doesn’t seem too scary after all. I could either accept this embarrassing life of mediocrity or choose to end it whenever. Again, happy or sad. It won’t matter much to me in the end.
I’m not completely suicidal yet, but whenever my parents are gone (only people that matter to me). There won’t be much in the way of me doing it. I’m sorta just prepping myself up for the big day.
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depression
|
Hello!
Yesterday my doctor moved my adderall dose from 40mg to 30mg because it was too high for me and I was having a lot of anxiety, moodiness, loss of appetite, etc. I moved down to the 30mg this morning and I’ve noticed that my appetite is definitely a lot better, but I still feel sort of moody and gross. Does it take time to adjust to a lower dose after being on a higher dose for a long time? I almost feel a little bit hungover, slightly nauseous, still sort of anxious and uneasy, tired. Is that fairly normal when you move down to a lower dose?
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ADHD
|
My parents don't know the meaning of privacy, and barge into any room they feel like, whether its a bedroom, or even the bathroom.
I literally have to barricade my bedroom door so that I can have some alone time, and they shout at me for doing that.
I'm not watching porn. I'm not doing drugs. I'm not drinking alcohol. I'm not on the dark web. I literally just want to be alone for more than a few minutes
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aspergers
|
Hey guys, first time posting.
I’m not formally diagnosed with PTSD but most likely have it due to a childhood of neglect.
I grew up in a apartments and trailers that were falling apart/trash and roaches everywhere.
About a year ago I purchased my first house with my husband. Beautiful middle class house. Something I’ve *never* had before. It’s perfect. Clean. Meets all my needs and then some.
But shortly after getting settled into our house I started having nightmares on a regular basis. In the dream I am still living in filth. I *have* a house with my husband, but I am unable to live there for whatever reason. For example, last night I couldn’t yet move into my house because all my belongings had roaches in it and I didn’t want my new place to become invested.
I have an idea of why I’m having these nightmares. Im thinking I am most likely very scared that I am finally living in a safe and clean house and it could possibly be taken away from me? But I’ve lived with my husband for around 7 years now in various apartments and never had nightmares like this.
Is this something any one y’all have experienced? I find it so odd that something so positive (Owning a house) could be such a strong trigger for me? I usually have anxiety for the rest of the day after the nightmare too.
Any solutions to this? I really can’t afford therapy atm.
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ptsd
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Like you're terrified that there might not be a God or an afterlife and when you die there's literally nothing afterwards
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OCD
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Sooo... a little backstory.
I’m currently in a treatment center for depression and anxiety, and we never get “junk” food. We’re allowed to buy it with our own money and eat it outside of the house though. Today, a friend and I went to the store to pick up some stuff, and I got Reese’s Pieces. The box had 4 servings in it. I ate the whole thing... We can’t bring outside food into the house and didn’t want to throw it away. Now, I feel incredibly guilty. I’ve been so worried about my weight lately. I’ve been struggling with my body image. My PCOS just makes it so hard to manage weight. I know that a lot of sugar isn’t good for me and I’m so ashamed of myself. 🥺
I really need some support. I logically know that I’m not going to gain weight from the one incident, but it’s soooo scary.
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OCD
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3 days on Methylphenidate 36mg and I’m not sure how I feel.
Although my mind is quite. It seems like that’s all it’s doing.
I have so much to do and instead of stressing about not doing it. I’m content with it.
That’s doesn’t help me. Lol.
Is this normal?
How long should I take the med before I try something else?
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ADHD
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I have a really bad problem with thinking things are poisoned. Maybe I read too much royal historical fiction and watched too many true crime shows as a kid, I have no clue. None if it is rational considering I’ve never been in a position of power or pissed someone off enough for them to even want me dead but when I tell myself that, my brain tries again later with something about contamination and has me double, triple and quadruple checking packaging at grocery stores. I used to not eat for days as a kid because I was getting those thoughts that it was tainted and didn’t want to push through them and have the subsequent panic attack that would convince me my thoughts were right and that I was dying. I admit to researching poisoning symptoms or worse, if you can survive a poisoning to try and prove my thoughts wrong but that and other research never really helps. (It probably just really confuses the FBI lol) It’s become more if a distraction until my panic attack subsides.
Lately my chronic illnesses have caused my anxiety to sky rocket along with the intrusive thoughts and I give into the bad habits of researching so much. I’m trying so hard not to and just push through to the panic attack but I’m so damn tired and the constant “what if” scenarios sometimes have a lot more rational arguments of things that could happen that have me frozen. No one wants to purposely poison themselves. I’m so embarrassed talking about this even with a therapist because when I’m not experiencing the thoughts I feel like I’ve lost my mind in those moments. I just want them to stop.
I also wonder if the pushing through is just a compulsion. Like I bought a box of crackers and the box looks dented and open a little at the bottom. I try to tell myself it’s okay, the bag probably isn’t opened so it’s not been messed with and got like that when it was either tossed into the cart or onto the shelf. Yeah, that doesn’t work. So I’m resisting the urge to look it over right now and to just open the box and eat some so I can deal with the anxiety right then (with like the belief that at least then I won’t be taken by surprise? Idk my thoughts rationalize themselves in the worst ways. I sometimes feel delusional instead of OCD in these moments because I’m following along with the thoughts.) I’m starting to feel like these are just as bad as my self-talk. Maybe it’s better to ignore it? I don’t know. All I know is I’m so tired of all of this. I’m tired of feeling like my mental illness is the dark side of me that I can’t get rid of ever.
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OCD
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I am in the Midwest right now, but have lived other places including other countries. DAE have better experiences in other places in regards to feeling more comfortable socially? For instance, I wore the same style of dress in NYC one day as I had in Paris, and also in San Francisco. I was a flight attendant for 8 years.
The style was a 1940s day dress, lipstick and curled hair. In New York I was accosted in public and sworn at by a butch woman asking me "who the f*ck do you think you are!?". The same outfit in Paris got me many compliments and random strangers stopping to chat with me. In San Francisco I also received compliments, no conversation but smiles and general friendliness.
This is just a small example, and I realize NY people are assholes... I lived there for a few years for my job. In the Midwest, it's mostly stares from middle aged Karen types and maybe some whisperings.
I've always felt more comfortable abroad, and I wonder if it is simply because I do not expect to sit in socially or understand the social codes being that it is cultures I am alien to. Or is it that American culture (especially specific places), is particularly unfriendly for ND people?
In reflecting on my relationships and experiences with the missing info about Asperger's, I'm feeling kind of hopeless. Then I remember that I didn't feel so bad in other cultural contexts. Spain, in particular was nice with most people's evenings out together in social groups after work discussing things that actually mattered...not just small talk.
Maybe there's hope for me to find a place I fit better, eventually?
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aspergers
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Tl;dr how am I supposed to get back into hobbies when I keep getting overwhelmed the moment I try to start them?
I don't know what kind of advice I'm expecting to get, I just want to get these thoughts out of my head so I can hopefully finally get to work.
I've been calling myself an aspiring writer and artist, but I haven't done either of those in months, to the point that I'm worried that my drawing tablet might not work properly due to how much dust is on it. I've decided to dedicate time to get back into these hobbies, and today was supposed to be the start of that. But here I am, took my Adderall two hours ago, and still just sitting here. No paper, no tools, no text documents or art software open.
I have the motivation, I absolutely WANT to create something today. I have more than enough inspiration, I may have dropped out of these hobbies months ago, but not a day has gone by without me thinking about my story and invisioning dumb meme comics that I want to make.
My only guess to the problem is that I'm overwhelming myself with options, on top of getting serious performance anxiety - even though I have no intention of showing what I make any time soon - is making my executive dysfunction go into overdrive.
I'm at a loss for what to do. But I absolutely refuse to give up on today because the last time I tried to get back into things I couldn't do it and then two months past. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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ADHD
|
Today I logged onto my insurance's website to see what my options were for a psychiatrist due to PTSD flare ups and flashbacks over the last year. The first one to pop up was the same guy I saw at the age of twelve when my mom had cancer and I had found out I was sexually abused.
He put me on a cocktail of medications, switching me between about eight different SSRI's within four months. I tried to kill myself twice in that time, ran away three times and was baker acted. He told my therapist and mom I wouldn't make it past 18.
My therapist disagreed and referred me to a new psychiatrist, who got me off all of my medications and weaned me to the smallest dose of Klonopin instead of the 6mg/day he had me on.
I turn 21 soon and I want nothing more than to schedule an appointment just to show my face - grown up, alive, living on my own, two jobs and going to school.
I am by no means past my PTSD or anxiety but I am definitely still alive and no longer suicidal.
Fuck him, and fuck anyone who puts us down.
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ptsd
|
Hello! This is my first post from this account, but I had an old one where I posted a couple times. I come now with a question/request for advice. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was young, and I’m 20 now.
Here lately I have been experiencing a heavy, and I mean heavy, bout of overthinking every little conversation, exchange, and action, or the lack thereof. Instead of enjoying the conversations for what they are, I find myself over analyzing their responses and actions and feeling like I have either offended them or said something wrong, when I know I haven’t. Then I feel like I notice all the most awkward parts of the conversation and get really brought down by them.
So I guess what I come asking for is anyone who may have advice on this particular subject and ways that I can try and navigate getting past this. Appreciate any feedback that anyone may have!
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aspergers
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(I posted it on the relationship advice subreddit, but didnt understand any advice at all)
Okay, so I'm a student (20M) in first year med school. I generally don't have 'friends', but that doesn't bother me much. I have a slight problem understanding people and I tend to get lost in a train of thoughts when some profound incident like this affects my mind. So this is the case :
I changed my profile picture recently which contained a picture of mine as a kid (and an embarrassing one, I had pony tails and my aunt dressed me as a small girl with the ponytails). Honestly, I was 2, so I don't mind much, every boy in India must have had one such photo. The first four batchmates to send me a message privately were all girls, with messages of "it's a cute profile picture". Not that I haven't interacted with these girls before, they have been very brief ones (mostly hi-hellos cause I have trouble carrying conversations forward) . Now I had two thoughts that generally every boy does- the spontaneity of the messages made me think that they have been watching my account. One side of me sees them as competitors in a class, cause exams are coming up in 3 weeks (handling the exam part is ok so far), and the other as admirers (I felt weird writing that down). What do you think? I want to know the difference between these two things and the break the chain of thoughts that might put me into a confused state which I already am in.
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aspergers
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I was on Instagram today, and I saw one of those “oddly satisfying” videos. One of the comments said and I quote, “Dis is good for OCD people.”
I don’t know why, but I really don’t like when people comment things like that. Of course there’s the whole argument about OCD is not an adjective, because it’s not. Like yeah, the video was satisfying, that’s the point. But at least for me, it’s not about things being organized and neat.
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OCD
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I feel like today has been a waste. I spent all of Thanksgiving alone. I could have easily killed myself and no one would have found me.
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depression
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I am a recovering alcoholic of 6 years and in the years when I drank I got into fights trying to protect the people I loved. I once got mobbed by 20 people, my cousin saved my life by driving over my attackers with his car!
I watched as a meth head I worked with punched a girl half his size in the stomach at a Vodafone where I worked. I reported it to the manager and the 2 other guys that were on the shift and saw it, denied everything!
He realized it was me and confronted me, the tension and bullshit that followed prompted me to move to a new store. Especially when I found out he was dating the girl he punched and that she dated him because he would beat others up.
I bumped into a girl I worked with at Vodafone who knew him , she was singing his praises. I didn't even think but I just said " I would give that fucker a bullet" and walked off without a word.
My mom's Irish family is currently in a huge family fued that could rival game of thrones. One side wants to spend all of my nan's money while she is alive and the other want to treat her like a human being, we are on the side that aren't POS.
My aunties husband came around to my house and attacked my uncle, because he was speaking out against their side of the families bullshit. He attacked us in our home and my mom tried to stupidly get in the way, my aunties husband looks like a German storm trooper.
I ran forward and my sister boyfriend stopped me by putting his arm out, because he didn't want me to murder the attacker, my chin kept pushing against my sisters boyfriends arm until my face went purple, I was so blacked out with fury that I didn't realize I was struggling to breath.
He removed his arm and then I charged the (C u next tuesday) that was choking my uncle to death. I spear tackled him off my uncle and sat on his head, I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but the lack of oxygen I experienced earlier helped some of the pure rage become replaced by logic.
He threw me off him and began choking my uncle again, I got a can of deodorant and gassed him! He nearly had an asthma attack and then my uncle jumped on top of him and began to gauge his eyes out! I saw blood coming from the sockets, the attacker pushed him off and retreated, eyes bloody, shirt ripped, a pure coward!
This side of the family had one of my favourite uncles who got cooked off meth and attacked my mom, he use to be her favourite brother. He was attacking his other brothers and my mom intervened, so he decided to yank her arm out it's socket and nearly destroy her thumb.
This happened in a hotel room, because some of my uncles were visiting us in Australia. My dad rushed to help mom and this POS uncle smashed him in the head. My dad lost it and grabbed him by the throat and nearly pushed him off the balcony! His brother had to stop my dad before he killed the bastard.
I was once surrounded by the danger of my memories and now I'm surrounded by a war zone. I have began aggressively body building, so I can become big enough to destroy anyone who tries to hurt the family I care about again.
My uncles is taking my aunties husband to court and my entire family are doing the same. My uncle who attacked my mom has escaped justice, my mom refuses to use all the evidence to bring down her ex favourite brother, which is infuriating.
She tells me to live my life and not to do anything, I have let this POS live for her sake and I have had to stop myself going to his house and breaking every bone in his body on multiple occasions. How can I live with a fucker like that walking the streets, ready to hurt my mom again.
He isn't even sorry and has an arrogant attitude for what he has done! AA taught me to avoid resentment and for some things it helped lesson the fury and pain I feel inside every day, but for my meth smoking uncle, it only grows hotter with each day, to the point where I feel I may black out one day and murder him.
Exercise helps for a little bit but I'm awake until 6am, and then the dreams I have once I finally get 4 hours sleep are unbearable. Dreams of my family being murded in front of me, dreams about the girl who recently cheated on me with 2 other guys, dreams of my sisters rape, dreams of how I was psychologically abused by my first girlfriend, who was a sociopath that led me to become an alcoholic to cope with the trauma.
I smoke weed to restore my sleeping pattern and it works wonderfully, but the more I smoke the longer the mental damage continues, as it makes things worse in the long run, paranoia ect
Has anyone felt like this, what did you do? I get CBT from my psychologist but it doesn't help, I'm always ready to fight and I cant sleep because I might wake to find my family murded, or on the calmer nights I fear the mind fucking dreams my wonderful brain presents me.
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ptsd
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I don't know where to start but I'm really not sure if i have aspergers or not, I've been feeling different from everyone in my entire life because of how i act, this is gonna be a long story so i don't know how to start.
Basically when i was young i was told that doing good in school is the only thing that matters that i need have good grades and everything, My mom would always remind me that i should be competitive and all that stuff, I had a hard time going to school when i was at kindergarten because I'm scared of things changing, i was so used to being at home that whenever my mom would take me to school, i would always cry and beg to the school's guard to take me home even if the teachers are bothered by it because every time class starts, i would always cry no matter what and they would just let me or sometimes my classmates would tease me behind their backs.
Im not sure if i had a problem socializing but i was really shy back then and would always prefer being alone, I did befriend everyone in my class around 1st grade though sometimes i would still feel different because my interests are not like theirs, i've always had the feeling that i need to fit in with everyone around me in order to be accepted, i didn't like being casted out, i don't know what's wrong with me, i've always wondered too why i don't cry or feel anything whenever someone in our family dies, when my grandpa died i saw everyone crying around me, i was there but i wasn't crying for some reason, i wanted to cry but i just can't, i couldn't.
Basically outside of academics, I'm nothing, I have no clue what i am doing, I'm always caught up in my imaginations which caused alot of people to call me crazy at some point in my life, sometimes even using autism as an insult to me whenever i get caught up in my imaginations, even in class, the only reason why I'm good at academics is because i have a tutor, she would help me understand stuff though i can't focus most of the time when we do meet, she would scold me sometimes too when i can't focus.
Around 6th grade when i lost my tutor, i was failing, i didn't feel like going to school, i feel pressured socializing because i really feel overwhelmed, i was so used to my old school that it's so difficult for me to adjust, i have a problem with change even now i have a problem with change, around those times everyone were judging me, everyone was avoiding me because of my imagination problem, i would walk around school and play pretend games to cope with being myself, my sister didn't help too because she and her classmates would make fun of me, at one point both my mom and my sister told me to grow up and be "normal", i did self harm too back then because i felt like a burden, i only stopped doing it till i met my boyfriend
I know something is wrong with me but i don't know what it is, i've been diagnosed with chronic and severe depression just recently and i wanna know what else is wrong with me, i really have no idea why i am like this, why i can't be normal, it's starting to get to me because i've been hearing insults left and right because of how i act, it's getting tiring, people called me a pscyhopath because of how i cut myself.
As of now my boyfriend who has aspergers is the person that really understood me more than the rest, when i met him, i felt like i was at home, i felt at ease, i felt safe and secure knowing that someone out there is the same as me, that someone out there is being judged because of the way they act.
I'm sorry if this is a long thread tho 😭😭😭
I'm just really so confused right now and i don't know what to do, I'm also experiencing intrusive thoughts as of now regarding my relationship and it's making things worse
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aspergers
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My therapist recently diagnosed me with ADHD. 25F.
I have no job. I talk excessively, have lack of motivation, and do not wanna do anything but lay on the coach to “wait” to be motivated. My parents usually say “wow you’re so lazy”, every time they walk by the couch. I lay many hours on my phone doing nothing. but they won’t push me too hard to do anything. they are just constantly disappointed.
The only thing that stimulates me is if my parents get mad and yell, (or if they start to give me routine/schedule) then my adrenaline kicks in. Another thing is coffee. And finally, my symptoms “magically” disappear as soon as my parents leave the house to go shopping for a few hours. It’s like my mind is normal and I start to clean and do work and I’m in love with it. otherwise I’m lazy most of the time . Is this more CPTSD or something? has anyone heard of something like this
EDIT: I still show ADHD symptoms around other people, but they are elevated on higher levels around family
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ADHD
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Every time I look at humans I get this weird feeling like they look wrong. We are like hairless apes and it freaks me out to look at people because bare skin creeps me out. Same for when I look in the mirror.
What iI expect to see: fur or hair covering the body like every normal animal
What I see: random hair patches over the body and skin everywhere else.
I am hyper fixated on this and i dont know if its from ASD or just me being kinda weird lol.
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aspergers
|
I’ve tried to take many precautions. I’ve deleted numbers, blocked profiles on social media, unfriended. Unfriended anyone from my past who only wanted sex, only flirted when they felt like it, etc. before and while I’m in my current relationship. I’m happy here. I’m learning and trying to be healthy here. I don’t keep contact with any exes or past flings.
Last night, one of those people texted me? I didn’t even know I still had them on social media. I think they were in jail if we’re being honest. See? Just goes to show not really my type of person. They said a simple hey and I just blocked them, continued talking to my girlfriend regularly.
This morning, OCD is present. I don’t know what it’s saying but it’s so hard not to pay attention. It’s telling me I only did all those actions because I don’t trust myself and can’t be trusted. It’s saying I can’t be trusted because I’m always tempted to cheat. It’s saying I’m curious about what would have happened if I messaged back. A bunch of other stuff.
I don’t feel like myself right now. I feel taken back to someone I was years ago. Can I even say I changed? This shouldn’t be affecting me so much. Fear is here. Fear that I’ll cheat, fear that I’m being shown something to be tested, I don’t know. But I love my girlfriend. And I don’t want to lose her. I can’t lose her.
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OCD
|
Next time you are reading something, try deliberately blurring your eyes when reading.
I used to do this at school in a very extreme way, in not wearing my glasses at all. Hence, no choice over blurred vision.
But since, I have gotten laser eye surgery, and thus, default mode of vision is sharp.
Thus, I deliberately kind of criss-cross my eyes. To create a slightly blurred effect when reading.
I find that this helps me to read.
It's as if simply looking at the page and my brain sees the entire page as a photograph, and says, I've already looked at it, and within seconds, wants to look away from the page and onto something new.
By blurring the text, it creates constant "newness" or "movement", which is also useful if you have ADHD alongside your autism.
I believe that this may also have something to do with "light sensitivity", which is a common sensory issue.
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aspergers
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Every time I do something out of the ordinary or slightly wrong, I get very anxious and overstimulated. I have a mini temper tantrum every time a minor inconvenience happens. For example, if a fold on my blanket appears out of nowhere and I feel it I start to panic. I don't know why I'm like this or why I get uncomfortable over such minor things. My family is concerned over this behaviour and I don't know how to explain to them what is happening. I absolutely HATE when a fold, a texture or any out of the ordinary object is near my skin. What is happening?
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OCD
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Sometimes I get urges to throw, or hit things especially when I’m around people. It’s like a spike of anxiety then it’s gone. Or sometimes it’s like a moderate tension and thoughts of ‘throw your book at their head’, ‘hit your face’. Almost like the reaction you get when a fly lands on you. I want to swatch the fly (get rid of the tension/urge) but I can’t without being socially outed or harming someone (adds to the frustration).
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OCD
|
Hi, I’ve been dealing with twitches a lot and I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing, it started when I would get triggered or start thinking about stuff, I’d just twitch my neck or my leg but overtime it’s gotten worse, I twitch a lot now and it’s really intense, my head hits my shoulder or I shake my head really hard and it’s like my body will cringe and my whole body tenses and my shoulders move back and I can hear popping noise (sorry tmi). Sorry for asking this if it’s not allowed or a strange question. I’ve been to the doctors about this and they say it’s just ptsd and anxiety but it’s getting really bad and extremely intense and repetitive, I don’t even need to be triggered to cringe or twitch, i do it a lot. I just want to know if anyone is going through the same thing and how they manage it or knows if this is more than just anxiety twitches because it’s really starting to affect my life a lot
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ptsd
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I did the VIA Strengths survey again and Bravery had fallen down the list. SO I am wondering how I might bring bravery back. What have others done ? Thanks
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ptsd
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We get it a lot hey?
The thought of it is so embarrassing that I had to post this under a different account.
I wish there's a way to stop myself from doing so. I don't wanna get shot.
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aspergers
|
So, I’ve been lucky these last 2 years. The pandemic made it so that I had been able to keep my job for these last 2 years. Wether it be because of internal changes or changes in my position whenever my performance coaching is getting to the point of disciplinary action or getting fired I’ve been saved by the bell. But now that things have settled down I’m back to performance coaching and there seems to be no easy way out coming up anytime soon. The company has again noticed my lack of production(while ignoring my work quality which was 100% in the last month and 100% attendance in the last month). I’m nearing the point of breaking. You see, I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. My mother refused treatment and meds because she believed ADHD was a silly condition and wouldn’t cause me any harm in life, she also thinks ADHD meds are harmful(go figure). So I’ve lived life barely scraping by. I managed to complete high school because it was a theater school, otherwise I’m sure I would’ve failed m, just like I quit college 2 years in because I couldn’t bring myself to complete homework. Every single task became a big accomplishment and everything began to pile up. Aaaaaanyways some job jumping,hurricanes and pandemic afterward I have managed to keep a job for 2 years out of sheer luck. But it seems my luck is ending now. I’m scared to go into a psychiatrist, it has been so long I fear I may be too far damaged to get help. And most of all, if after all these years I get a proper diagnosis I’m afraid of opening up to employers knowing full well I will get no help.
This seems to be where my life begins to fall apart again.
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ADHD
|
So I'm 20 female and I've been been diagnosed with ADHD combined and it's really put my entire life into perspective and changed my whole thought process when I look back on my past. That's kind of sent me into an existential crisis and I have had a lot of trauma in my life and and I spent 8 years recovering from trauma while more just kept piling on And now after this diagnosis it seems like all the things my parents and people around me knit picked me for are manifestations of ADHD that was never addressed or managed. I am on medication and working with my therapist but looking at my results I've noticed that every single one of my executive functions are screwed, like there is not one out of the seven that is normal and I'm really struggling with the fact that no part of that works. Overall it's relieving to have a diagnosis and medication has helped tremendously, but I still am processing the fact that this is the rest of my life, that this is a chronic "disability?" I'm grieving the person I could have been, and handling resentment and frustration against my parents and other mental health professionals that failed to help me growing up and that I've had to go through this entire process by myself.
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ADHD
|
I got diagnosed with OCD about 5 years ago when I had my first bad “phase” aka a mental breakdown because I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Over time I have the occasional flare up and currently am in one of the worst ones since that time 5 years ago. I read a lot of people say their ocd flares up during times of stress. I recently started my first big girl job (I’m a nurse) and got engaged. Prior to this i didn’t *feel* stressed but it would make sense that i am. Does anyone else not really feel/notice being stressed out?
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OCD
|
I got 1100 on the PSAT, im gonna be taking my sat this year with actual preparation, 1100 isn't amazing but not bad, and my gpa is 2.5 which isn't great at all. anybody else get high scores in tests but low grades? im thinking it's just my boredom and lack of motivation for classes i don't care for.
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aspergers
|
I’ll start this by saying I’m on medication for adhd, anxiety and depression. I do exercise, checked my victim D levels, do mindfulness, see a therapist and all that. Just had time to reflect on my life with adhd and I start to notice something. I know that all or nothing thinking isn’t good, but my a lot of times it feels like I’m either very happy or very sad. My mood can change throughout the day rapidly, even worse with day light savings time. It’s weird going from being anxious and sad to feeling like the king of the world. My mom has screamed at me that life isn’t just fun, but when I rarely feel just in the middle, I’d rather choose the good feeling. I know that mood swings are common in those with adhd, but I wonder if anyone else feels this way, that there isn’t much middle ground, it’s either one extreme or the other. Could also be undiagnosed bi polar mixed in with adhd, getting that checked out in December. But yes, is it normal to have these highs and lows with adhd? If so what has helped you when you get in the low?
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ADHD
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The one thing I wish I could without facing any consequences is SLEEP. I feel so weak to even do anything.
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depression
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I know the definition. I understand, but sometimes I feel like certain thoughts don’t traditionally fit the definition but are still intrusive.
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OCD
|
Hi everyone !
I am glad to announce you today that we opened a discord server, with the same goal as (discontinued) reddit chats, a safe space where Aspergers can express, question, share etc.
(Discord is a group-chatting platform)
It'll be in beta for a few month, the time to shape it at our usage.
Feel free to join us : [https://discord.gg/Hg3gXZqdNv](https://discord.gg/Hg3gXZqdNv)
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aspergers
|
In my last relationship, my then partner claimed that I had manipulated them (regarding smaller things) from time to time. I myself did not have any intention whatsoever to do so and the situation left me wondering if I should ever have a close relationship again, fearing that I would keep hurting the ones I love.
This also slightly extends to non-romantic relations. Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm just "fake" and while being able to act nice deep down I'm always looking for personal gain.
Have you experienced anything similar? Have you also been able to mend the situation and learn how not to do it?
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aspergers
|
same old story as always, i got lazy and let everything spiral out of control. now i have to solo several group projects under a few days since my defective arse can't be bothered to function like a normal person instead of an old flickering flashlight you have to slap around to work.
the mini heart attacks that comes packaged with social interaction when not so utterly sleep-deprived are so entertaining as well. wish it would do me in one day so i can finally get this all over with.
time either crawls around like a slug or blitzes right pass me in a blink of an eye. they all blend together in an incomprehensible sludge which do not help my shitty memory at all. is it today or tomorrow? i have no fucking clue sometimes. tick, tick, tick, time fell out of the cuckoo's nest. it just keeps running out and that's that.
how did i think going to a prestigious school was ever going to work? aside from some frankly mediocre creative writing skills, i have nothing to bring to the table. luck was all i ever had if i'm being honest and even that is running out. they were all right. should've stayed right in your lane, useless idiot.
maybe i should drop out and start again next year when i finally muster up enough energy to play a character that vaguely resembles something functional. my dad certainly suggested that, though my brain registered that as a threat. haha, stupid little thing. it keeps wasting money.
on the bright side, i've already started distancing myself from my friends so at least getting left behind won't hurt so much. i doubt it would even affect me at this point since i automatically repress any inconvenient emotions at this point. crying never solved anything after all.
i know this long ramble sounds frankly concerning, probably grounds for therapy or something. not that i'll ever go. still, it all reeks of something going wrong with the collection of red flags i call a brain, but compared to last year i'm downright stable. just wanted to scream into the void for a hot minute.
but hey, my academic life might be slowly dying in forgotten ditch somewhere, at least i'm not thinking of picking up cutting, staring at bridge pictures, or passively planning jumping off one. now i just stare at fish pictures for some reason. fish are nice. i count that as an improvement.
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depression
|
Dating with aspergers is really hard, it always seems like I'm some second class citizen when it comes to dating. That's not really just a problem with dating, like I don't act 'normal' so I'm not exactly an ideal partner, that's not like the other person's fault for not liking me, the only people whom have ever expressed affection for me are other neurodivergents, and I have always been more okay with people being out of the norm simply because I am, is there like a dating app for neurodivergent people? I would love that.
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aspergers
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Hi guys. First time posting because I can’t find any research or info about it (when searched for as an ocd trait or possible subtype) but I’ve always considered it a form of OCD, and in the past five years or so* it’s certainly become my most negatively intrusive and disruptive, even if it’s not an every day occurrence…it’s regarding like contractions and facts vs opinion and definitive truth and correctness I guess? I think explaining the most recent situation that just happened first before trying to simply “define it” with words or terms would be the easiest way to explain myself so that’s what I’ll do if that’s okay.
Super nerdy and lame, but I compete in multiple different kinds of virtual singing/music video competitions through the singing app I use and have been involved in at least one at all times throughout the past two years or so. They usually all follow the format in which each week is a different round/theme chosen by whoever or whatever group is hosting a competition. A lot of the times the comps themselves will have themes as well, But that’s irrelevant I guess right now.
Cell today and one of the competitions them and they released the next round, which includes the theme, instructions/rules, requirements and basis for point deductions and DQs.
Upon reading the round note I noticed that one of bullet points for the round were a blatant contradiction to the very specific round instructions detailed right about it. I brought it up in the group chat for the competition and got into it with one of the comp founders/judges and I couldn’t help but retort and comment back when they would say something back that wasn’t correct and they wouldn’t even acknowledge I was factual right, even if they didn’t want to correct themselves and the original contradiction. You can find screenshots of this exchange
[here](https://imgur.com/a/eVxJSN7) which are a perfect visual representation of my ‘obsession’ (factuality, definitive truth, etc.) and ‘compulsion’ (The fact that I have to say something about it and try and correct somebody when they are in the legit wrong),”. I do this in real life scenarios as well when it comes to facts and stuff that really happened etc and this is also not the first virtual competition where I’ve brought something like this up. And I truly can’t not say some thing about it and try and make them realize that I’m not wrong in what im
Saying, no matter if it’s a big deal
Or something completely minute and unimportant.
I would also like to add that I am as far from a strict rule follower in basically every other factor in my life..I have definitely lied before, I have definitely cheated on the homework or tests before, I have definitely ignored instructions and done things a different way, so I don’t think it’s that I’m a religious rule follower or anal retentive, or that I’m a stuck up asshole because I am definitely not lol.
So I am here to ask you guys, is this some type of subtype of OCD as I have thought, or am I just some specific type of know it all, douchy snob?
Either way, I wish I could hold my tongue and get over it without it bothering me so much that I make myself
Look like an ass defending my correct and factual observation..
Any insight would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
* I do believe I know what started this obsession five years ago, And that was me being in a three-year abusive/over controlling relationship where I was constantly accused of untrue things or Having scenarios negatively repeated back to me that weren’t correct or completely untrue or contained incorrect information. I was constantly trying to prove what was true and correct and defend this, and was often reprimanded by him for focusing on unimportant information or things that weren’t the main point of what he was saying.
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OCD
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Hi all - I've been a lurker since I got diagnosed a year ago, and this page has helped me understand myself through so much of the shared experiences here. One reason I only just now got diagnosed at age 23 is because I also have Tourrette's. This expresses itself through constantly feeling tension (premonitory urges) throughout my body, building in intensity until I put pressure on this part of my body. My fingers need to be bent to reach the tension focus in the core of their webbing, my eyes need to be shut so hard that I often need to use my thumb to push into the right spot with enough pressure behinf the eye. Some, like my arms, require an easily hide able shifting of my joints in one direction by bending the bone in my forearm. Because I've been my own detective, I even have developed a map of my body, where the red indicates the constant feeling of pressure. This sensation is associated greatly with "not just-right experiences" (NJRE's) mentally in the same way, where hyperfocus on cadence and tone of a speaker's voice can distract with just how "off" it sounds. This is why the type of OCD is often called, "just-right" OCD or Tourrettic OCD in some literature now. For the purposes of those post, as well as my own lack of knowledge on any distinction, I'll just be saying I've got a comorbidity of both OCD and Tourrette's spectrum.
I first connected with OCD through the book "Because we are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought", which I would highly recommend to anyone on here. However, OCD didn't seem to cover the whole "my body is riddled with premonitory urges" side of things, just some of my mental symptoms of OCD I hadnt realized. The author also hosts Twitter OCD talk hours every week!
My therapist nor my psychiatrist really understood this blend of OCD and Tourrettes i have, and so I took to digging through the scientific literature on Tourrettic OCD and "just-right" OCD more specifically, and found this amazing 2 page sheet from the International OCD Association on it:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Just-right-OCD-Fact-Sheet.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjvoq_I6YbvAhVToFsKHSIwC-0QFjAAegQIARAC&usg=AOvVaw1hQeG9N1VFsHxBlZd2Kc6V
My therapist sent this around you her office, so I want to put those resource here for anyone on this subreddit who is similar to myself, as there isn't any subreddit devoted to this comorbidity specifically.
Also, I finally discovered a book written by a woman with this comorbidity called "Passing for Normal: a memoir of compulsion" by Amy S. Wilensky. I read it today, and it is the first time I've felt the sense of familiarity since first discovering this sub. I wanted to bring not only my comorbidity to more light, in case anyone out there relates, but to provide my own resources and personal description for people too. If you also deal with this, and you need anyone to talk to, please reach out to me. I have gone almost 24 years feeling like a blind operator, controlling a body that does things I don't understand. Now... I know, I have a name for it, a narrative that I connect to, and the confidence to write this post out. I hope this helps anyone who needs it!
Thank you all!
Edit: I'm naïve and thought I could post a picture of "tic map" but I can't :(
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OCD
|
One of my long-term themes has been "ugly people" and I don't know, if it'll go away tbh. I don't know what to do to triggers that seem impossible to overcome, since they seem so natural.
Any ideas?
The only way I've figured out to cope with this is to attempt to hide my reaction to this theme, but it seems hard to undo.
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OCD
|
I’m a survivor of child abuse, bullying, and an awful divorce. I acted out in school at an early age, showing signs of anger, anxiety, and depression even as a kid. My parents sent me to military school to correct the problem, but that only made things worse—much, much worse. It’s like life’s response to my suffering was to punish me for suffering.
Anyway, that god-awful environment led to an extreme case of primarily-obsessional OCD. It’s nothing short of a miracle that I am the well-adjusted adult I am today. It came about through my sheer willpower and dogged determination not to let my anxiety and depression define me. When I tell people my story they are usually shocked because I seem, well, fine. The fight never truly ends but I’m in a position of strength these days.
I’m curious about all my brothers and sisters in the fight—do you also trace your OCD back to traumatic events in your past? I know not everyone with OCD needs a dramatic excuse as to why they are the way the are, but I wonder whether this predisposes you to severe anxiety (in this case, OCD).
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OCD
|
Hello there! I recently got prescribed 15mg of IR adderall (I’ve been on concerta and vyvanse before, I’ve been diagnosed since I was 10-11) and adderall has been a god send for me, it allows me to get to a functioning state! The doctor told me to only take one a day though, but since I’m a college student my schedule runs from 9am to the very late evenings (art student things) and that causes a bit of a pickle.
The IR only lasts 4-6 hours, leaning more on the 4 hour mark due to my extremely fast metabolism. So I tend to have to plan when important things I need to get done are so I can take it then! The problem occurs during the times I can’t take the medication.
Like today for example, I slept extremely late due to not being able to get out of bed, and when I finally woke up fully I had a bombardment of texts saying I missed a family event that I had completely forgotten about, much to my dismay. I then proceeded to lay in bed for most of the day because I have to wait until the time to take my medication, but then it means I’m not getting anything done at all. Not that I don’t wish to get anything done, I have plenty of work I need to do but due to the short acting period of my medication I can only take it when I have something important going on later in the day, but it causes me to be unable to function normally earlier in the day. I could take it early, but the crash from the medication makes me extremely sleepy which is not good for a college student who has evening classes. Does anyone have any tips on what to do to get things done and function when you can’t take the medication to function properly sometimes?
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ADHD
|
Context: I spent almost 30 full minutes trying to write out a question for a Q&A session tomorrow. And it's hard to be objective about this - is it harder for me to write a question? Or ... is it that effective communication is just hard in general? Except it's my ASD brain that gets so laser-focused on making sure as much context as possible in conveyed correctly as intended. And I simply care about that a lot.
It's hard (sort of ironic, given this topic) to feel like I'm even conveying that topic correctly. It's like I run around knowing that I don't fully know topics well. And I care about wanting to be well-spoken. I don't *want* to speak loosely or shoot from the hip.
But, the important thing is - both NT and ASD struggle to phrase things well. It's not about *ability* to communicate precisely. I'd argue that's generally hard for everyone, with some variance in natural talent + ability to learn. The difference is in care about communication precision.
And I think that's a subtle but really important thing to make clear in framing communication struggle. I often feel like I struggle in sentence formation where others don't. And associate *that* issue with ASD. But that's just, I think, a human issue and a language issue. And that's a universal skill gap. It's just that, rather than be okay with imperfection, when the words aren't there I stress the hell out, and *that's* the ASD part of the equation.
And, why I'm writing this? It's important because it helps me decide where to hold myself self-accountable and what to work on. I can pressure myself less feeling like a "can't form words failure" because it's not me, it's just language in general that's a hard thing. And that lets me not judge myself as harshly. Whereas sometimes I frame it the other way, like I'm lagging behind some skill that everyone else is great at. Because they're not bothered, so they must be "good" at this. But they're not "good at language". They're "good" at navigating imprecision. And that's a very different sort of thing.
Just some theory to share. The fuck is ASD in general anyway, right?
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aspergers
|
2 days ago was exactly a year since I got diagnosed (checked old emails and found the long email I sent to my psychiatrist about my suspicions)
It's been a mad journey but a really good one on the whole. Didn't properly sink in for a few months, then it did, then I had to work through a ton of self loathing that had built up over 26 years on this planet about parts of me that I was taught to hate (thanks dad) that now suddenly had a name and were in the spotlight in my head.
I'm in a much better place now, I've more or less accepted the bits of life I find hard and (mostly) deal with them in a constructive way instead of beating myself up, and I'm actually relatively fond of myself for the first time ever.
I found this group a few months ago and it really helped to have a browse through every once in a while, and understand my own brain and see that there's lots of lovely people out there who have similar struggles.
This is a lovely community and it's definitely helped me get to a better, healthier place and be nicer to myself and others. So thank you :)
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aspergers
|
TW; sexual assault
I was raped by a friend of a friend when I was 19. I don’t remember the act but I remember everything up to possibly minutes before hand and then waking up in the morning. I was paralysed with fear and couldn’t do anything to stop him.
I’ll be fine for months and then it’ll creep back into my life and haunt me. I just woke up from a dream where I punched my bed head trying to get away from him.
Sometimes I think it’d be so much easier to have the memory of what happened then to deal with the unknown.
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ptsd
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